#i can't just ask why everyone's ignoring me

[andhumanslovedstories]

you think often of how nurses should speak and relate to patients, and i highly appreciate knowing you put this kind of thought in and share it with other nurses. but as someone who often occupies the patient position, i'm curious if you have any thoughts on ways for patients to interact with nurses, when we are in decent enough control of our faculties to make choices about that. i would like this knowledge from both an altruistic perspective in recognizing nursing is difficult and not wanting to voluntarily make it difficulter, and a wholly self interested position of knowing nurses who like interacting with me give better care. what helps as a professional and as a person?

I'm surprised how much I had to think about this question. What do I want patients to do? I don't know. A lot of it is basic human decency, some of it is specific to my nursing workflow, but overall I find it complicated saying what patients "should" do. I cut out about 500 words of navel gazing from this post explaining why. Here are answers I've come up, in no order and not of equal importance.

--a lot of it is basic "polite interaction with another person in a professional setting." If you're asking this question, you probably care about treating people well in general. If you wouldn't say it to a barista, would you say it to your nursing tech?

--don't do joke answers to basic orientation questions like "what's your name" and "where are you right now", because it's annoying to have to clarify if you're actually confused or if you're fucking with me. I know they're annoying. Just answer correctly so we can move on.

--have some flexibility and patience. Hospitals have a lot of moving parts, and each person interacting with you has other patients that also need care. My hospital and state has mandated nursing ratios. The maximum amount of patients I've had in one assignment is five. Other hospitals have far less protection, and nurses may have six, eight, twelve other patients. Our respiratory therapists each cover multiple units. One CNA might cover the entire floor. I know if melatonin is the difference between you sleeping or not sleeping, it is very frustrating for someone to bring it late. I just ask you keep in mind that there's dozens of reasons that might happen besides someone ignoring you.

--help us help you. If you can lift your arm up for me to put a blood pressure cuff on, why are you holding your arm completely limp so it's like putting pants on a toddler than doesn't want to get dressed? If you can help roll yourself in bed, help us roll you. If your IV is beeping, hit the call light so someone can come turn it off. If you don't have urgency issues and you can tell you're going to need to go to the bathroom soon, call before it's an emergency. If your IV hurts when I give you medication at 8 pm, tell me then, not when I'm trying to give you your midnight antibiotic and all the evening staff have already gone home.

--if you don't understand how something works in the hospital (what happens when you hit the call light, how often are people going to take your vital signs, why can't I get up and walk around the room), just ask. It's really easy for people who work in a hospital every day to forget other people aren't familiar with it.

--don't treat doctors noticeably better than you treat everyone else.

--pet peeve number one: if I give you pills in a med cup, you can just use the med cup to get the pills to your mouth. You don't need to pour the pills into the palm of your hand and then pop them into your mouth. You're gonna drop the pills, and I'm gonna end up on the floor looking for a tiny tablet of dilaudid.

--bundle requests, especially low-importance ones. If you ask for crackers and you know crackers make you thirsty, just request your drink at the same time. Don't make me walk to your room, the nutrition room, and your room again ten minutes later.

--I don't expect people in the hospital to be pleasant all the time, and I don't take snappiness personally, but I always really appreciate the patients who apologize or even just acknowledge their behavior.

--I love patients who acknowledge my work. I don't need effusive praise or a thousand thank yous. It means a lot for someone to just be like "hey, thanks for your help tonight."

--have patience with repeating yourself. If you've got something important and complicated to convey, practice a quick understandable blurb that takes no brain power from you. There may be something that you've told the staff a dozen times, and it may be documented in your chart, but in the hospital you see many people who have never worked with you before and for whatever reason didn't read that info in your chart. For example, I'm a float pool nurse which means I almost never see the same patients twice. I can get sent to a different unit and a different patient load at literally any time. I can't familiarize myself with complicated documentation or read every nursing note. Especially not for patients I know I will only have for four hours. I know repeating yourself is annoying, I know it sucks to have to explain your bathroom routine or your preferred pain med or when you like to get pills or whatever every shift. And it's great when people make that information very easy to find! But if you just accept the reality you'll be repeating yourself a lot anyway, it makes doing so less frustrating.

--pet peeve number two: don't exaggerate to make a point. This is such a human thing to do, and god knows I catch myself doing it all the time, but you can raise objections in a way that's factually true. I've got a lot of concrete data that people are very often wrong when they say they're been "waiting for hours" after hitting a call light. The computer has a time stamp of the last time I was in your room. I know it was 45 minutes ago. There's a timer by the call light. I know you called twenty minutes ago. And I know it feels much longer when you are waiting for basic cares or pain control or anything pressing. Things can be unacceptable without needing to be exaggerated. When the exaggeration is the base of your complaint, it undercuts your credibility. Honestly I find it really irritating when I spend a disproportionate amount of my shift with one patient only for that patient to tell another staff member that I've been neglecting them. Just say I did a bad job, don't pretend I wasn't there at all.

--don't ask me to pull my mask down so you can see my face. like cmon dude.

--I'm not saying you have to send all your visitors out of the room when I'm there, I'm just saying have some sympathy for how nerve-wracking it can be to do your job while being intensely watched by five other deeply invested people with limited context for your actions.

--this is a nebulous and difficult one. You might have a lot of emotion that you don't know what to do with. What you shouldn't do with it is channel it into every interaction you have with a healthcare worker. If you feel guilty about how you haven't visited your mother in a while and now she's in the hospital, you gotta find ways to deal that don't involve getting extremely passive aggressive at your mother's night nurse.

[luluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu]

˗ˏˋ♡ˎˊ˗𝓗𝓲𝓭𝓭𝓮𝓷 𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓪𝓬𝓱𝓮 ˗ˏˋ♡ˎˊ˗

˚ ✶ ⋆｡˚𓆟 Synopsis: You're not in love, that's what you keep telling yourself. But if you keep denying it, it'll only hurt you more

˚ ✶ ⋆｡˚𓆟Extra Details: F!Reader, Unrequited love. Angst, only cussed once or twice I think

˚ ✶ ⋆｡˚𓆟 Lovely Notes: This took me a week to write so hopefully you guys like it! Requests are open and I will be posting Se-mi fake dating tomorrow since it needs MAJOR editing. Also Requests are open!

────────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────────────

It's easy to live in denial, but accepting the truth is one of the hardest things to do. Acceptance and denial. Two words so closely related yet so different. It was so easy to convince yourself Se-mi was just a friend whilst you ignore the way your heart races when she looks in your direction. It’s so easy saying you don’t like her despite the tingling jealousy that builds up whenever she talks or even mentions another girl. Convincing everyone that you had absolutely no romantic feelings for her was almost as easy as breathing, but the more you deny it, the more painful the truth and acceptance will be.

The more the words repeat in your head, the more you are forced to remember how long you've been putting these feelings aside all in denial. Se-mi is going on a date with a girl she met at one of Thanos's parties. “I’m just looking out for her” was the same excuse you had always told yourself. Just a protective friend definitely not because the mere idea of her even looking at another girl in that way hurts. We're just friends and I'm just a friend to her.

Just a friend

Just…a…friend….

The more the words repeat in your head, the more it feels true yet the impending hope of what things could overshadow the denial. I mean if it's so easy to convince them…why can't you convince yourself? Why is it so hard to just be okay with her going on a date with another girl…a girl that isn't you. Why is it so hard to just accept that you are nothing more than her friend?

Saturday afternoon rolled around, and a harsh knock at your bedroom window had woken you up. It was Se-mi, it was only ever her. You slowly get up from the warmth of your comfortable bed, a strangely unfamiliar place. This was wrong, you knew it was wrong but why are you still giving in? Despite your better judgement, you open the window and let her in. Se-mi does her signature smirk “Woke you up?” she asks, sitting on your bed. “No..Kind of?” you say standing up and looking at her. “Uhmm? What's up?” You say, your voice sounded quieter and slightly nervous but why were YOU nervous? It was just Se-mi. “Okay so I'm supposed to meet Ji-Yeong- later at the amusement park” Se-mi says excitedly. You stare at her, your eyes looking hollow as you try to hold in the jealousy. No, it wasn't jealousy, you thought to yourself, it was just that you didn't like how Ji-Yeong treated her. That's all. “Uh-huh” you gave her a half response as she talks about her excitement “She's pretty and nice, it think we'd be more than a casual fling” Se-mi jokes. Se-Mi had always been a bit of a player ever since you had met her. It was never the same girl.

“Cool, have fun with her” you say, your tone was harsher, colder. A tone you've never used with Se-mi. Your response catches her off guard “Woah, something wrong?” she asks. Se-mi had always been good at reading your feelings and being able to tell when something was wrong. “Nothing’s wrong, I just woke up so I'm just sleepy! yep very sleepy still and probably tired..like REALLY tired” you say starting to ramble and hoping that your response was convincing enough.

“Staying up late editing again, huh?” She teased.You roll your eyes “shouldn’t you be getting reader for your date with Ji-yeong” You say as your voice became snarky the instant you said her name. “Woah don't get all sassy, I just know you too well” She says with a big grin. But if she really knew you so well, then how come she didn't notice? How did she not see how you were so obviously in love with her. Maybe she did and just chose to ignore it or maybe she didn't know you at all. You're suddenly taken back to reality when Se-mi places her hand on your shoulders “Hey, you're not upset about me waking you up right?” Her voice was gentle and sweet. Your face flushes “Yeah” you say as Se-Mi smiles and hugs you gently

It was a tough day that day, after se-mi had left for her date you couldn't stop wondering. Wondering if the date was okay, wondering if Se-mi talked to Ji-yeong the same way she did with you. Se-mi’s date should be over by now, she hadn't even texted you. You were hoping, begging even that Se-mi would come over to say it didn't go well. For her to go to your apartment and realize she wanted you. No, you just want her to be okay, you don't like her, you're not in love. But if you're not, why does it hurt so Goddamn bad that she's on a date with Kim Ji-Yeong and not YOU. It's almost like your prayers had been answered the moment you heard your door knocked, you rushed towards your door, wiping your face from any kind of imperfection you thought you had. Slowly, you open the door and smile warmly seeing Se-mi. “Hey!” you said, your voice seemed all too happy. “Hi” she smiled warmly as she walked in and sat on your couch. “How'd it go?” you say quietly, wishing in every bone in your body that she'd say it went horrible, it was bad and she'd never go to Ji-yeong ever again.

“We’re dating now!” Se-mi says with such excitement in her voice. Your smile immediately drops and before you know it you’re staring at her, dumbstruck.”What?” what, the only words you could muster out. “The date went perfect, we were going to take it slow but she’s just too good to lose” Se-mi says with a bright grin. You stare at her in silence “You need to go” you whisper quietly. “What? Did I say something wrong?” Se-mi says in an upset tone “I just need you to leave, like right now” You say your voice cracks as you feel tears threatening to fall. “I’m not fucking leaving you until you tell me what’s wrong?” she says as she stands up. Her face was stern as she stared at you. And before you know it, you’re crying screaming out every single thing you’ve felt for the past 5 years. “I’m in love with you Se-mi! I can’t keep doing this! It hurts knowing you’re not MINE. I can’t even stand the mere idea that you’re hanging around other people. You can’t even see that, I’ve tried so hard to not be in love with you but I can’t. I can’t… I can’t keep living like this, I can’t keep acting like I don’t love you and that we’re just best friends” You say, stumbling on your words as you rant. Se-mi stared at you with a blank expression. “Look, You’re a great person and the best friend” she starts but you don’t even let her finish “Please… Just leave” you choked out through your tears and she glances at you one last time before leaving.

WIth a heavy heart, you knew you should’ve stayed quiet. Emotions aren’t easy. Maybe if you had just accepted instead of denying, maybe the weights in your hearts wouldn’t drag you down like an anchor. Maybe then, Se-mi would still have been your best friend.

[messrsrarchives]

You’re starting to act just like your fascist Reggie—censoring others and trying to dictate what can and cannot be discussed in fandom. Telling people they can’t talk about politics because you, living in a first-world country, can’t handle it? You’re the one using real-world politics to justify a fictional ship with a fascist. Have you thought about how people who are genuinely anti-fascist might also dislike it in fiction? You can’t control fandom. If you want to like fascist characters, then just own it. While fiction might not feel like reality to you, for many, it is reality. Have you considered that the characters and headcanons you enjoy might reflect deeply personal experiences for others? Not everyone has the privilege to separate fiction from reality like you do.

hi feed, this message was brought to you by someone who has clearly never interacted with me ever !

WDYMMM "telling people they can't talk about politics" 😭😭 i fear that's my ENTIRE niche across two social media platforms. i fear my entire thing is politics in a fandom space + the real world. i fear that's literally what i'm known for. what 😖

i was gonna ignore this but i have so many receipts that i thought okay ! finna answer ! why not, let's entertain this <3 (below the cut because it's long)

assuming that this is a response to this post where, after watching elon perform two nazi salutes on stage, i said "hey! maybe you should stop calling people in fandom nazis for reading about a fictional character!"

what i alsooo said on that post is that it's important to discuss politics in literature (see here: doing a masters degree in english literature + politics <3). because absolutely! the DEs are crafted in a way that reflects historic events and absolutely, that's something we can discuss!

what we should also discuss is that whilst art imitiates life and life imitates art, the two do not directly reflect one another - if i read about wizards, i am not a wizard. if i read a crime book, i am not a detective. and if i read fanfic about regulus black? i am not a facist.

in regards to the censorship comment: this here is an entireeee video i made about censorship and puritanical views in fandom spaces and why this is a Bad Thing To Do (though i fear you will disagree with it because i am saying that people can read and write whatever but alas, no censorship here x)

using real world politics to justify a ship? no, not at all. i do not think ships in fandom need to be "justified" because, again, they are fiction. can they be discussed? absolutely! my tiktok is @/messrsrobyn and you will find countless videos where i dissect fandom, characters and ships. again, this is kind of my whole thing <33 nice to meet you <33 but rather for me? that post was made as a building up of (1) the mass of people in fandom during the tiktok ban saying that words have meaning when american writers say british words "wrong", but throw buzzwords around like it's nothing and (2) this is a place for escapism and safety, which is needed now more than ever and whilst discussions about politics are important, this? this ask? this is not a discussion. this is hostility, much like people just commenting "nazi" with nothing else on a jegulus post.

discussions can be had! absolutely! my entire thing is discussions in fandom. but right now i'm trying to discuss this when you have given me nothing to work with but false claims and hostility - see how this doesn't work? but alas, i'll try :)

do people read jegulus and think "wow i love voldemort and the death eaters!!! i agree with what the did here :D" or do they read jegulus and enjoy the complexity that comes with a character like him? do they enjoy how, with a character with such little canon lore, people explore things? or yk what, do they sometimes read him as a muggle where none of this matter because there's do DEs? yeah, because it's fiction. and liking a fictional character does not have repercussions on the real world.

calling someone a facist/nazi only for teading about fictional characters does - it is so incredibly important that we read immoral literature. i'm rambling now but i'm not even talking just about fandom. we NEED books that discuss these topics and we need to explore the characters within them. we NEED politics and immorality and everything like that in books because that is how we learn, understand, and prevent. reading them does make you immoral - see here: queer books being banned in the us for containing "immoral themes" and main characters doing things they deem had and awful alongside INCREDIBLYYYY important books like the handmaids tale, to kill a mockingbird, 1984, fahrenheit 451 etc etc.

we need to read these. we need to engage with them.

but in a fandom space, we also need to acknowledge that these are not real people. these are fictional characters and there's a big difference between engaging with a character because you are justifying their actions, and engaging with a character because you enjoy Exploring their character and Understanding them in as many ways as possible 🙂↕️

but we agree!! whilst fiction may not feel like reality to some people, to many it is! so have we considered that when people come to escape from the real world for a bit, or people have family members lost to past regimes; are about to enter 4 years of another regime or are holding their breath waiting for european elections to see if another far-right populist party gets in, it might sucklk to have this thrown around?

imagine dealing with alllll of that in reality, not knowing what on earth is going to happen tomorrow or what the future holds for you and the people you love, and then being called a facist online because you read about Fictional Character Regulus Black. whilst your life literally crumbles apart because of it. you are now being called the same thing that the man oppressing you and everyone you love is, because you read FanFiction.

and then finally ahem:

"not everyone has the privilege to separate fiction from reality like you do"

if you click here, you will find a tumblr post i made about this exact thing :D about how we can't separate fiction from reality

see here also: a post about the books jkr publishes under the robert galbraith pseudonym and about how we, again, cannot separate fiction from reality.

if you click here you will find my jkr playlist on tiktok which has videos in about how, again, we cannot separate fiction from reality.

what we also can't do, mind you is call someone a facist for reading a fictional character.

there is big difference between "hey! this character has facist undertones if applied irl, we could discuss this!" and "You Are A Facist For Reading It"

instead of coming and ranting to someone who has spoken extensivelyyyy about politics in this fandom space - both with fandom material and with elections, gaza, the uk riots etc etc - and is a huge advocate of dicussions and debates, put this energy into something productive.

like actual facists. real world politics and what you could be doing at a local level to help reduce the harm of Actual Facists that are in power right now. not people taking a break from Actual Facism to read fanfiction.

ta x

(p.s i'm a homeless, chronically-ill, gay, trans man. what privilege do i have in THISSS fandom space of JK ROWLINGSSSSS worlds, to separate reality from fiction? 😭)

[callmemonster68]

NIKI - Just So They Know... ( smut )

Jealous Niki decides to remind the boys who Y/N belongs to

Pairing: Niki X FemReader X Enhypen ( special participation )

Genre: Obscenity

Warning: Contains explicit content, unprotected sex, suggestive, penetration, explicit language, climax, sex, swearing, loss of virginity, hickeys, messy make-out sessions, dirty talk, compliments, rough sex, touching bruises, handcuffs, chains, sadomasochism , masochism, brands, public sex, oral

A game night at one of the boys' houses. Everyone was laughing and having fun, but Niki, sitting in a corner, watched Y/N interact with the others in a way he thought was more animated than necessary.

While the others competed in a card game, he could barely concentrate, his eyes fixed on the way Y/N laughed at something Sunoo had said.

After a few minutes, Niki stood up abruptly, drawing everyone's attention.

Niki: Y/N, can I talk to you for a second? — He said, his tone calm, but his eyes revealing something more intense.

Y/N: Wait, I'm almost winning this.

Niki was already at his limit, he stood up.

Niki: What was that? — He asked, crossing his arms.

Y/N blinked, confused.

Y/N: What is that?

Niki: You know. All this laughter, all this closeness with them.

She frowned, trying to suppress a smile. The boys were in shock from the surprise and confusion.

Y/N: Niki, they are our friends. And we're not doing anything wrong.

Niki: I know that — he replied, running his hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. — But I can't help it. It just... bothers me.

Y/N: Are you jealous? — She asked, now a smile appearing on her lips.

He looked away for a moment, but finally sighed.

Niki: Maybe...

Y/N: Niki, you don't need to be like this. I am yours, and you know it.

His eyes met hers, and in that moment, something relaxed in him.

Y/N: I just don't like sharing at all — he said loudly while looking at the boys.

To provoke him, the boys shouted Y/N's name, telling her to just ignore his behavior and return to the game. Niki opened a devilish smile, and before she could return to the game, he grabbed and pulled her arm, lifting her up with a slight smile.

Niki: Just so they know...

And then, he gave her a quick and rough kiss, which left her shocked, the boys with wide eyes at the scene, but Niki didn't stop there, he pulled her close to the sofa, turned her around, and pushed her onto the arm of the sofa so that her butt was up, and her lower body thrown over the sofa.

Y/N: Niki, what are you doing? You are crazy. — She said as she tried to get up.

Niki: Crazy? Me? Crazy are they if they think they can fuck you better than I can. — He said, looking at them with fire in his eyes.

Jungwon: Guys, let's go out, let them sort it out.

Heeseung: Go out? Why? He wants us to see it, or he wouldn't have started this show.

Niki: Exactly, stay and watch this bitch get dumb for my cock.

He finishes speaking, lifts her dress up, and pulls her panties down. The boys adjust themselves to get a better view, she covering her face, overwhelmed with shame.

Niki: Take your hands off, I want them to see your face all the time. — He says authoritatively, and gives her bare butt a hard slap.

She obeys him immediately, already knowing him well, she knows it's better to follow him. Tears streaming down her face from embarrassment, she dared to look to the side and found the boys' focused gazes, her pussy tightened around nothing.

Niki noticed her excitement running down her legs and didn't miss the opportunity to tease.

Niki: Look at this bitch, come closer, she's already dripping.

The boys immediately walked closer, all positioned behind Niki, with a privileged view of her exposed pussy, their pants getting tight, suffocating their hard cocks. Jake was the first to take the initiative to free his hard cock, followed by all the others, the last being Niki, who freed his cock and held Y/N's hip, making her feel a shiver run through her entire body.

Y/N: Niki, please, don't do this, you will regret it. — She pleaded.

Niki: The one who will regret it is you for being a desperate attention-seeker.

With that, he penetrated her all at once, tearing a scream from her, he began to fuck her mercilessly, going hard and deep while degrading her, the boys closely watching everything as they pumped their cocks, Y/N moaning loudly, Niki's thrusts abusing her small pussy, the overwhelming pleasure she was feeling driving her completely crazy.

Y/N tried to stifle their moans by pressing their face into the couch. Niki noticed and pulled her hair. He made a ponytail with his hand and held it while forcing his face upward.

Niki: Funny how you try to hide how much you like being treated like this.

Y/N: Niki, please, it's too much, I can't take it anymore.

Niki: The best thing you can do is stay there and accept it.

Jay: You should treat her better, Niki, she's too good.

Niki: I can do whatever I want with her, and you will just watch. She knows she was born to please me.

With that, she squeezed him even tighter, loving the attention and degradation she was receiving.

Y/N: I'm going to come, I'm at my limit. — She said through sobs.

Niki: Do you really think you're in control? How lovely.

He threw her head forward, pushing her back onto the couch, then pulled out of her, leaving her empty. He went to the kitchen and returned with a chair, placing it sideways in front of the boys who had now stopped pumping his penis to follow his movements. Then he sat in the chair with his legs open.

Niki: Come here, bitch, it's time for you to show what you know.

She got up, staggering with weak legs, and walked over to him. She positioned herself on his lap and sat on his hard member.

Niki: You know you're only useful when you do exactly what I say.

She confirmed, nodding her head, the tears still streaming down her face. Niki took her dress off, leaving her completely naked. He looked into her eyes, wrapped his hand around her throat, and choked her just enough for her to roll her eyes.

Niki: Now, bitch, move.

He took his hand away and released her, letting her arms fall freely by her sides and allowing her to use his cock. The boys resumed touching themselves while Y/N began to ride his cock with desperation.

Niki: Are you seeing how they look at you? Do you see how they look at you? Is this how you want to be seen?

She squeezed him and looked at the boys. She still hadn't realized what was really happening, all six of them watching her as they pumped their cocks, excited and desperate. She knew she should be ashamed, but it only made her even more excited and closer to the edge.

Niki: They're all here touching themselves over you, but in the end, you're only mine.

He saw that she was close and pulled her in for a hot kiss, while guiding her hips to move more forcefully. Before completely breaking the kiss, he orders:

Niki: Open your mouth!

She obeys, then he spits in her mouth, which she immediately swallows.

Niki: You like being reminded of your place, don't you?

She nodded again, confirming that she loved being just a pawn in his hands when it came to sex. She accelerated her movements even more, Niki came first, followed by him with just a few more movements. He looked at the boys and realized that they were all already at their limit.

He lifts her off his lap, both of their cum dripping down her legs, then he forces her to kneel in front of the boys. Holding her hair and forcing her to look at them, he says:

Niki: Look at them! Let them see your fucked-up expression.

Niki: Get closer, use her like the good cum dump she is and cum on her.

She was startled by what was said, they approached her and came almost in unison on top of her. Meanwhile, Niki put her clothes back on.

Niki: With everyone aware of who makes her feel this way and to whom she belongs... we can continue with the game.

Y/N looked at him incredulously with his ease in acting so relaxed about everything that had happened.

Niki: Any problem? — he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

Y/N: No, no problem. — She said before getting up, grabbing her clothes, and going to the bathroom to wash up.

Sunoo: Y/N, don't take too long, I'll have my revenge. — He said with a sweet smile, accompanied by everyone agreeing.

"None of them are normal," she thought as she took a shower, exhausted.

✿ If you don't reblog and comment, you can be sure I'll be showing up in your dreams tonight... and I won’t be as sweet as in the story ✿

[basu-shokikita]

skwistok for 35 (to gain something 😏)

Good number for Skwistok it seems >:)

35. (Kiss) to gain something

"Yous drivingks me insane, Tokes!"

"Whys? Whys?" Toki took strides from one side of the room to the other, like an enraged bull. The rest of the band watched from the comfort of the couch, but knew better than to intervene.

This was almost like a mating ritual between the guitarists.

Almost.

"Just plays whats I wrotes!"

"Why cants Toki makes a suggestions?!" Toki countered, placing his hands on his hips petulantly.

"Because it su-" Skwisgaar cut himself just in time. He was supposed to be nicer. He was supposed to be nicer. Wearily, he pinched the bridge of his nose, "Because dis amsnt de plans, okej?"

"Yous plans ams dildos, then."

"Yous dild-" Skwisgaar cut himself off again, this time to greater effort. Why was Toki one of the most insufferable people in the entirety of the universe? "Eugh, I can't do this."

As soon as he turned his back to Toki, he heard him again.

"Whats?" The rhythm guitarist sounded confused. "Yous leavin?"

"Ja."

"Whys?"

"I don't wants to fights." Skwisgaar said between gritted teeth. This whole 'be nice to Toki' phase had been going for way too long and Toki was becoming more and more spoiled. Then again, he couldn't really bring himself to break it either.

Not after they barely survived the end of the world, anyway.

"Cowards."

There was some muffled noises coming from the direction of the couch, but Skwisgaar chose to ignore them.

Slowly, he turned around to find a smug Toki looking down at him. "What did you says?" He asked in a low voice.

Toki cracked a grin. "Whats the matters, Skwisgaar?" He stuck his thumbs in his armpit and waved his arms in the manner of wings. "Yous chickens?"

"Play nice, Toki." Pickles reminded him in a condescending tone. Skwisgaar ignored that too.

Menacingly, he gave long steps in Toki's direction, until his shadow was marginally covering the idiot's face. "Takes it back."

Far away from being intimidated, Toki seemed even more entertained than before. "Noes."

"Takes it backs."

"Or whats?" Toki lifted his chin defiantly.

"Or..." Skwisgaar tried to come up with something. Kicked from the band? Too harsh. Will never get lines again? Blatant lie. The guitar God will take away your powers? Toki was too old to believe in fables anymore.

Sensing his uncertainty, Toki drew himself closer to Skwisgaar. "You can'ts punish Toki." He whispered with a smile.

Skwisgaar raised an eyebrow. "And why ams dats?"

Hidden in a curtain of golden hair, Toki's eyes seemed to glow in the dark. He mouthed something that Skwisgaar couldn't hear.

"Whats?"

It was like a flash. Toki moved forward, stood on his tiptoes to reach Skwisgaar and gave him a peck. Before Skwisgaar could process anything, though, Toki had already pulled away.

Eyes widening, Skwisgaar covered his mouth. "T-Toki!"

"Hah! I wins!" Toki skipped in delight.

"No, you don'ts!" Skwisgaar wiped his mouth furiously. "I tolds you not to does that in publicks!"

"You blush, you lose!" Toki played dissonant notes on his guitar. "Blushins loser!"

"Ams not- I didn'ts blush!" Skwisgaar said, ignoring his heated cheeks.

"Nuh, you tahtally did, Skwisgaar." Pickles chimed in.

"Yeah, Skwisgaar, you're red." Nathan agreed.

"Like a total homo." Murderface finished.

"Everyone shuts up!" Skwisgaar glared at his bandmates. "And why ams I de homos when Toki dids it?"

There were incomprehensible murmurs in response and Skwisgaar felt his patience almost reach zero. Toki was back in his spot, playing that horrible melody Skwisgaar had been trying to shut down.

"Toki!"

"Whats?" Toki batted his eyelashes at him, his fingers still focused on the strings.

If he refused Toki again, who knows what he would do next. Skwisgaar sighed. "Fines."

"Yay!"

While his bandmates mumbled about him like he wasn't there, Skwisgaar sat on the amp and watched Toki play, eventually correcting him here or there.

He really did shoot himself in the foot by letting Toki hold some leverage over him. Toki was a dirty player and a total cheater, always had been.

Skwisgaar rubbed his nose, and suddenly understood what Toki had meant to say earlier.

Because you likes Toki.

He furrowed his brows in annoyance, arms draping over his chest, attempting to order his brain not to make his skin flush again.

Fucking idiot.

[crowsofdarkness]

Moment Of Weakness: Chapter Fifteen

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Content Warnings: language, 18 + smut, angst, fluff, affair, cheating, violence, kidnapping, faking a pregnancy.

Summary: Reader is the assistant to New York's most feared mob boss, James Buchanan Barnes. He had the picture-perfect life: status in the mob, friends, and beautiful wife. So why can't he keep his mind and eyes off of reader?

Authors Note: I just wanted to remind everyone who reads this, there are heavy moments of cheating/having an affair in this story. You might not agree with the actions of "reader" or Bucky but it does pertain to the storyline. If anyone is interested, tags are open for this! Just send me a message or comment!

Tags: @cjand10 @generalmoonpolice @sapphirebarnes @baw1066

The noise of the television was white noise as I stared into the void in front of me, chewing nervously on my thumb nail while my knee rapidly bounced. Every little bump or creak made me jump, unsure if someone was about to break in and cash in on the hit against me. 

It didn’t help that I didn’t hear from Bucky, not once, the entire night. He said he would handle it but my faith in him was a bit deterred at this moment. How could he if he was busy with Natasha? 

I even thought of sending him a message but knew it would only be ignored. Especially with the picture I had seen Natasha post on her Instagram story an hour ago. 

Bucky laying shirtless in what I would assume was their bed, his back to her phone and it was clear he was fast asleep. The caption did nothing to mend the crack in my heart. 

He always knows the best way to keep me happy. 

Jealousy, anger, and stupidity washed over me because I kept getting reminders that at the end of the day, Bucky would always go back to her. Even after our afternoon together, he still laid with Natasha, in more ways than one. 

“Hey,” Steve’s soft hand covered my knee, halting its movements. “It’s alright. Nothing is going to happen while I’m here.” 

I gave him a forceful smile. “Sure.” 

He sighed while leaning against the couch, his large arm extending over the back of it. I could stop the way I slowly leaned into him, needing that feeling of protection, and looked into his eyes. 

There was this perfect man, right in front of me, and there wasn't a doubt in my mind that he would give me everything if I asked for it. 

I cupped his cheek, thumb tracing his jawline. “Thank you for being here.” 

“Of course,�� he nodded, placing a soft kiss inside my palm. 

We faltered back to our previous position, sitting next to each other, as I forced my eyes to watch the television. 

Steve had spent the majority of the night trying to keep my mind off of things; making me something to eat or watching stupid movies but nothing worked. My mind kept wandering to the thought of someone sneaking up behind me and slicing my throat.

“Maybe it was a mistake for taking this job,” I muttered to myself. “For many reasons.” 

“Hey,” Steve lifted my chin with a gentle finger. “We’re going to figure this out, alright? I won’t let anything happen to you.” 

I nodded in his grasp. “You’ll stay all night?” 

He gave me his own nod. “I’m not going anywhere, doll.” 

The nickname, the same nickname that Bucky called me, felt different coming from Steve. Almost as if it was uttered with promise and love. It made my knees weak. 

With his vow, I allowed myself to sink further into the couch and his small embrace, and watched whatever movie he decided to put on. But as the night wore on, the movie becoming less interesting, I sighed and began to lean over Steve to grab the remote. 

“What are you doing?” He chuckled. 

“I can’t stand this movie, it’s terrible,” I groaned. 

With a slight slip of my position, I ended up falling on top of Steve, who’s arms wrapped around me in order to stop me from falling off of the couch. Our faces were so close that I could feel his warm breath dance across my lips and with the slight movement, I brushed my nose against his. 

Both of us were unsure of what to do or say, this new proximity foreign to us. My heart raced as Steve brushed away the hair that fell into his face and palmed my cheek, me leaning into his touch. 

His leg wrapped around mine, a way to keep me locked into place. 

“Steve?” 

My voice came out in a hushed tone. 

“Hm?” He hummed, the vibrations of it rattling against my chest. 

Flash images of Steve and I together, naked rolling around in the sheets of my bed, burned deep into my mind and I caught my bottom lip between my teeth, a small ounce of guilt pulling my heart down. 

Bucky. 

We weren’t actually together, though, so what was happening between Steve and I wasn’t wrong. It felt more right than Bucky and I did. 

So why couldn’t I stay away from Bucky?

“I think I’m going to go take a shower,” I pressed a hand on top of his chest, halting our faces leaning towards each other. 

A small moan fell from my lips when his cock twitched against my core. 

With a slight nod, Steve released me from his grip and I detached from him, muttering to myself that I needed a long, cold shower. 

The shower did absolutely nothing to calm me down from thoughts of Steve. All I could do was wonder what his lips tasted like. 

With the towel wrapped tight around me, I shut off the bathroom light and walked into the hallway, gaze falling onto Steve who sat on the couch, bottom lip caught in between his teeth. Even with the distance between us, I could see how dark his eyes were. 

Lust. 

I swallowed thickly as his name fell from my lips with a yearning to feel his own. 

Steve closed the gap between us in a few strides. “Tell me to stop and I will.” 

I didn’t utter a word, only squeezing the tension I felt between my legs.  

This might cause problems between Bucky and I but it didn’t matter anymore. I had been so blind by this affair that I allowed myself to fall for someone who couldn’t commit to me. 

The way my own name sounded on his tongue caused my body to shiver and I held the towel closer to me. There was a voice in the back of my mind to stop fighting it, lean into Steve and allow him to give me what I deserved. 

I finally listened to that voice and stood on the tips of my toes, leaning closer to him, our lips pressing together so softly. 

We both stood frozen, unsure of who should make the next move, but when Steve’s lips began to move I formed into his figure by wrapping my arms around his back. My palms spread over the wideness of it while Steve walked me back towards the wall, his hips locking me into place. 

I dug my nails down his back to around his sides and pressed ourselves closer together which caused a satisfying friction between our shared cores. 

“Steve,” I whimpered. 

His beard scratched my face in the most blissful way as my fingers now found its way through his hair. Steve bit down on my bottom lip and I went dizzy at the ecstasy I felt when his dick pressed against my pussy, barely covered by the fabric of my towel. 

While his teeth left faint marks over the skin on my neck, I rutted my hips up into him. 

“Oh, fuck,” he grunted. 

Heat spread underneath my skin with the way our hips were moving together, the towel was slowly falling but I did nothing to stop it. 

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

the deeply dispiriting feeling of being told that a handful of friendly strangers in a shared community would like to be part of a group you've proposed, only to hear from none of them and still be the only person in the discord you created when invites are about to expire almost a week later, leaving you paranoid and wondering whether you set it up wrong or just haven't received any kind of acknowledgement because they saw the work you put in setting it up and all realized you are way too much

[arttsuka]

🫂

Thank you 🫂

Virtual hugs are always appreciated :)

[andyridgeley]

tried to put up a community post asking anyone else if they had their driveways cleared of snow etc because the hoa claims they do this and had my post denied...

[goldenpinof]

.

[tackrusso]

show tempe gang crossover with the morris islanders would actually have been the best episode of bones ever. btw

[medicinemane]

There's honestly... just so many people, just so so so so so many people in this world where I'm like... aren't you people tired of this fucking... you know, I was going to call them clowns but that's really disrespectful to clowns, these people could never get their face on an egg...

Anyway, aren't you tired of this childish jackass? Don't you just want to ignore them and never have to hear about them again? If we just ignored them they legitimately would go away... don't you want that?

And this applies to... just ungodly amounts of people, from jake paul to even elon musk (just... don't touch his shit, he'll run out of money eventually with how bad he is with it), to just... name an annoying famous person and you'll name someone I've literally forgotten right now that I could never have to hear about again if people would just ignore them (unless they committed crimes, investigators are welcome to pay attention while gathering a case)

Yet the answer's always "no, we're paying so much attention to them!" and I'm just like... why? Why would you watch jake paul box? I heard about that and was like "he's still doing that shit?", and yet I guess it made a lot of money yet again and it's just like... ignore him

These people could go away, and yet

[skrunksthatwunk]

im exploding into a million pieces i found a reddit thread about butches in video games (specifically looking for them) in hopes that there was some kind of lesser known dream daddy-esque butch dating sim or SOMETHING cute like that and guys the fucking crumbs we have to live on you're actually killing me. im withering away why are there no kissable butches in video games im going to throw up and kill everyone. nobody wants a butch dating sim apparently. im gonna go weep in the fetal position

[kateis-cakeis]

people are really so weird and so fatphobic huh

(and oops most of my commentary is in the tags XD)

[dazais-guardian-angel]

went to my first con in 4 years on Friday to meet Kaiji Tang and got a Dazai autograph + video recording of him reading to me. He was the sweetest person (as I knew he would be) and interacting with him was lovely, but also at the same time oh boy it sure was an extremely stressful, ugly wake-up call of what it feels like to live in a world now where everyone around you has blissfully moved on from covid and can enjoy things normally and happily, while you'll forever be trapped in a hellscape of perpetual fear 🫠🫠🫠

[byanyan]

anyway I'm still struggling, still mentally & emotionally exhausted, and still just haven't got the brainpower for writing 🙃