#i can't even process everything
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goddamn the gl's this week were so good
#not to mention all the events for the actresses also happening this weekend#i can't even process everything#pluto the series#petrichor the series#mate the series#love senior special#pluto ep 10#petrichor ep 5#mate ep 5#oonmay#genaoey#naow x gyoza#*tp
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So THAT'S where he is!
FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT
MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)
#undertale#deltarune#undertale fanart#deltarune fanart#utdr#crossover#crossover comic#twin runes#twin runes comic#twin runes au#my art#kris dreemurr#frisk#lesslo#but how the hell did he even get there???#oh who am I kidding?#it's flowey#he always finds a way#but now the truth is out#Frisk can't deny it any longer#though Kris might take a moment to process everything that's unfolding right now
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Reunion
#meadowart#in stars and time#isat spoilers#isat loop#isat siffrin#sifloop#i finished my second playthrough today#got 2hats obviously#and they made me ill again#couldn't stop thinking about their postgame meeting. i think it'd be pretty emotional at first. but once they processed everything they'd#just cling to each other and have a moment. maybe a long tender talk too#Sif looks different bc it's somewhat late postgame?? and i can't not think about Loop pointing out his change and feeling bitter because#they'll never get to change#(they will but they have to go through some thinking first okay)#hell yes i managed to load this#and even recovered the tags
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working in a factory has you thinking so much about the insane chain of labor & transport that goes into making literally anything
#like first you realize that You are making & doing things that you previously had thought - if you'd thought abt it at all - were automated#& you become incredibly aware of how all the materials you're working with came from somewhere - these plastic clips are from france; this#fabric is from india etc. and that there are people in factories there making those things and that they are also probably getting their#materials from somewhere#one of the little things that makes me think about this the most is we have these 50m rolls of cotton banding we see onto canvas & nets#and in theory it should be all one piece but sometimes it's actually two pieces which you discover when you get far enough in the roll and#find that there's a join where it's been stitched together by hand (!). which is a little annoying bc we can't use that bit so you have#to cut that but out & stitch it together again on the machine which interrupts what you were sewing before & slows you down But it's so#striking to me bc like it's really easy to look at this banding & it's so exactly the same & obviously machine made it's Really easy to#forget that there are people there running these machines. who notice there's a break & have to stop what they're doing & get a needle &#thread and stitch it together. by hand! like someone somewhere has handled exactly where I'm touching it & i don't even know where in the#world they are!#the other place this happens is often on the selvedge edge of the fabric there's writing in pencil i don't know ye meaning of but evidently#was important to the process somewhere & someone wrote that out#idk like it's really easy to watch those videos of really specific machines in factories & convince yourself that everything is automated#but the truth is the vast majority of stuff is not & is made by people doing that. & even when it is there are people running those machine#<- and i'm not saying this in a soppy way tbc. this whole system is a nightmare of exploitation & to some degree I'm just continually amaze#by how insane this whole process is & also how completely un-transparent it is unless you are made to think abt it#another thing is noticeable when you look at our orders that most of what we sell isn't to customers it's to shops who then sell to custome#which then makes you think like. those plastic clips from france are they actually made in france or are we just buying them from france?#are they actually made by underpaid people in a country the name of which is completely lost to the chain of production at this point#anyways none of this is new it's just when you are working in a factory using this stuff you start wondering like.#what's the factory like that the person who stitched this banding together like. what's their day like there#wish we could talk abt how fucked up this all is - for them especially probably - together#thoughts
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Incorrect, the fact that Biden has dropped out and a candidate with history of supporting medicare for all and being more receptive to a ceasefire in the I/P conflict has made me go from "I cannot morally support the Democratic nominee" to "I am voting for the Democratic nominee despite the fact she isn't perfect in every respect." I'm really happy this played out. The Dems for the most part abandoned the old Obama platform and it feels like its possible an actual progressive agenda could come to pass in my lifetime.
Kamala 2024!
If you weren't going to vote Democratic in this election before Biden dropped out you're a dorkass loser who does not care about any of the issues you're yammering about here and also a fundamentally bad person, and I hope you get run over by a bus.
But you got one thing right in all of this gibberish, Kamala 2024.
#personal#answered#anonymous#i mean let's be clear here no president is gonna attempt to be progressive ever again within my lifetime#because joe biden tried to do like 25% of that and got ZERO fucking credit#he did so much on healthcare on reform on loans on so many social issues and for all his litany of failings on i/p#he has been distinctly harsher on netanyahu than a good chunk of dems and certainly the entire republican party#for the first time since i was four we are not involved in any wars as americans and that is thanks to joe biden#but the thing is that he gets no credit for any of it!#him pulling out of afghanistan caused his approvals to tank in a way that never recovered#and leftists gave him FUCK ALL for it#they gave him nothing they just continued whining that even tho he cancelled a bajillion in student loans#he didn't actually cancel a QUADRILLION dollars so both parties are the same and voting is the most arduous task known to man#no democrat who is running is going to forget that catering to leftist/progressive policies gets them zero leeway with those supporters#that it not only tanks numbers but you still get constant haranguing about it anyway#so they're not gonna do it#we are gonna get fuckall for at least a good fifty years#and anything we get will be utterly in SPITE of people like you anon it will happen in spite of everything you've done#mostly because of people like me and mine who understand that voting is the bare minimum#and that for the democratic process to work the way you want it to you need to participate and not pitch a fucking fit#like a four year old who was told they can't go to disney this weekend#like i know you ratfuckers are happy this played out because this is all a game to you and you don't actually care#but that's why i've got zero faith in you people and why i'm glad it's my kind of folks#actual die hard democrats who have always been hardliners for supporting democrats in every possible election#who are picking up the slack and donating to harris and supporting her agenda#which is the exact same as biden's because she's his vice president and they share they same platform#because that's what they were both running on! twice!#anyway fuck you please feel free to find a necktie and test how tall your doorframe is
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End-of-Day Debrief
#disco elysium#disco elysium fanart#kim kitsuragi#harry du bois#disco elysium harry#disco elysium kim#art#lads is it normal to have feelings for a GAME#I just finished it and I need at least several days or weeks or MONTHS to process everything#I fucking loved it it looks and sounds so beautiful I can't handle it#I WANNA DRAW IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH even if I suck at drawing people#will replay it in a few months or whenever my will to cope wavers#time to restructure my whole personality around one game#disco elysium art
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I feel like the Primaris should have been the catalyst for like, an imperial civil war. At the very least, much unrest in the house of Guilliman. Their existence, let alone rollout/integration, should have had many chapters absolutely rioting. It should be beyond the pale by several orders of magnitude and be seen as an enormous overreach by the more autonomy loving chapters, a blasphemy by the more orthodox chapters, and an existential threat to chapters with geneseed quirks. Plus anyone with any awareness of the thunder warriors should take one look at them and recognize the writing on the wall. Guilliman should absolutely recognize what they represent, what they imply. Like they're the leading wave of a paradigm shift that doesn't bode well for what came before. And I say this as someone who's not averse to Primaris, I just think they could've, should've, been a waaaay bigger deal. I know they loathe changing the status quo and we're never getting rid of the posterboys but I think we missed out on something interesting.
#40k#primaris marines#like if anything I think they should have made them even more different than oldmarines#to the point where they very literally *are* intended to be upgrades in some fashion#either in ease/reliability of creation or actual ability#or both#I personally would have had them be “streamlined” astartes that lack a lot of “advanced/niche” features of marines#in exchange for a much less demanding selection process and a much higher survival rate#augmented by Cawl-designed (and ofc primaris only) gear that Bobby G is putting a lot of resources into stockpiling#Primaris should be a revision to the design meant to address the flaws and weaknesses of the Astartes *from guilliman's perspective*#easier to produce easier to replace more reliant on imperial supply lines and locked down so they can't rebel without leaving everything#ultima founding chapters also should have had *very* short leashes and been Minotaurs tier agents of Imperial will#maybe even have some that are clearly out to eat other chapters' lunch and occupy their niches#especially problematic/autonomous chapters#hammer home the “we're replacing you with the upgraded models” message
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Kind of want to write an academic AU. Do I know for what ship/fandom? Nope. Do I have any plot besides mundane suffering and/or disturbingly specific catharsis for me? I do not. Have I written fic in ages? I have not. And yet. Here we are.
#hilary for ts#etc etc processing trauma through writing#also my novel is finished!#can't decide whether to bother trying to find an agent but that seems like a lot of work#and i have made a cover and everything so it would be easy to publish#bad news: there will be a sequel#i am already 120k words deep#but yes this is the definition of “no plot just vibes”#and frankly there are barely even any vibes#i just like to put my blorbos in academia and watch them suffer#for reasons
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twt saying the love madeleine felt radiating off of louis was for lestat not armand... loustaters try not to make everything about lestat challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)
#like i deadass can't understand this thought process#like genuinely why should we even give a fuck about the loumand betrayal if they both never even actually cared about it eachother?#hello?? am i tweaking???#?????#iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#the vampire armand#armand de romanus#loumand#like i dont even hate loustat it's actually one of my fav ships#but the stans over on twitter are so dumb its wild 😭#not everything has to be about lestat.... its okay... 💔#konvo
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Creature. (The rendered ones are referenced from manga panels)
#mediocre art#tokyo ghoul#On some level I think I should like Kaneki more than I do but there's this weird sense of detachment#I have not only from him but being able to perceive him as a character?#I don't even dislike him it's just that I can't feel any which way about him at all. He's a catalyst for events#feels more like the conch from Lord of the Flies or something rather than a fictional person.#He doesn't suffer and learn from the consequences#he just suffers and does what got him there again. It's arguable that the lack of punishment denies him the satisfaction#but if that's the case why does he end the story with everything working out perfectly for him?#Why do his friends oblige his flaws and accept his lack of change?#Is the problem my lack of understanding or his lack of good writing?#Is he well written?#Why do I like a certain character from a different anime who's a very similar person with very similar dynamics#but with a goal and acceptance by himself and those around him that his actions really are reprehensible and cannot truly be atoned for#not only more but to the point that he's actually one of my favorites?#Am I just sitting upon a throne of entitlement#because his thought process and experiences are not catered to be applicable to and understood by myself?#GOD IF I KNOW ANYMORE#I'm not pressuring myself to like him or anything I just don't understand anything about kaneki these days and I don't know why
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1.06 / 2.09 (33)
#the way they both cling to their families while in distress#their families are their most cherished people that they somehow can't reach#Hürrem has literally lost them long ago#while Ibrahim has reunited with them and has placed them close to him due to his own love for them and his position in the castle#but it's precisely that same position that distances him from them and *will* distance him from them even *more* down the line#the reactions here also reveal how Hürrem and Ibrahim view death#Hürrem embraces it because she's lost so much already#they always want to separate her from the family she has and the family she's built in some way#and it's like they succeeded here - it has already happened - she's taken from S��leiman the only other person she could latch onto and from#her child she was going to have from SS that would show that she was actually going to keep on that she can't be separated from her family#*this time* not so easily but it's over it's done it seems so let her go to her mother and father at least let her return to them#let her reunite with them that's all she can have after she's already dead#after she's failed and the evil in the palace has seemingly taken over - in her E01 dream it was *they* who made her push forward#in order to commemorate them in the first place; she doesn't mention her sister tho even though she was there in the dream too#and I think that's because at this point Hürrem searches for protection for *help* and her parental figures can provide that to her#more than anyone else; namely they guided her in her dream mainly her mother so she goes first#it all also goes to show how her latching onto SS is a gradual process as she calls him only later#Ibrahim clings to life as embracing death would indeed mean losing absolutely everything completely#*fully* separating from his family he returned to found and reunited with after he wasn't sure about whether it's even possible#and what's more he has both his past and current family in front of him in the present; he can't let that go he *won't* let that go#so he urges his father and Niko not to leave him as in not to let him give up to help him in the fight he thinks he can still win#but he doesn't mention his mother namely because she isn't there in that picture she's fully gone and already symbolizes#a more distant past that wounds Ibrahim too much and he comes to want to evade as this ep is soon after#his scandal with Hatice; no wonder she appears in E44 and urges him to go home thus to go back as he wants to move on so badly#more subconsciously than even the usual#magnificent century#muhteşem yüzyıl#muhtesem yuzyil#hurrem sultan#ibrahim pasha
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you know when you're going through a high stress situation that is prolonged and agonizing but you've put on a brave face and you think you've got this! 💪 and then a week into it you accidentally burn your quinoa and there's smoke and all of a sudden your skin is sloughing off and you feel like alice about to be swept away in a tide of her own tears? mmnnmm yeag.
#i cant fucking do this not at all actually im very scared and i have no idea what im gonna ddo for money and yeah i am. so scared#money isn't even scary if i can just find a job! but i need an apartment but i can't find an apartment unless i can pay for the rent#and i have to contact The Dude at some point but uh. hes mad. im scared.#augh delete later probably. im sitting on the stairs outside and smoking a cigarette which i really shouldn't do#did I tell you i was scared. i have these cruel nightmares of roaming the streets looking for nala and not finding her#and i wake up in a cold sweat in a panic not knowing where i am. everything is so unfamiliar !!!!#if things ever work out for me if i can find the money for deposit or get my investments back somehow i swear i will spend a month in compl#ete silence staring at the cieling just processing this#right now everything feels so GO GO GO and i am scared it might break me. i do not have the time for chronic ilness right now yk.#tummy ache. chewing on my cheek.#nothing to do than try to stay positive but man. this really fucking sucks and is really unfair#who knew being a people pleaser with 0 boundaries would come back to bite me in the ass.#/groan/
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I may not always show it but I love tumblr so much...
I love looking at peoples hashtags and what they write, I love the appreciation for actual art and not the quick doodles/memes❤️❤️❤️
#positive#twitter is just annoying the shit out of me again#I can't even see my own media#even though the number with the amount is there#I'm delete one everything btw#it's one of a tedious process
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Obsessed with the POV choice in Imperial Radch as well, both because Leckie does some really wild stuff with how expansive the strict first-person is able to become due to the worldbuilding and who her narrator is, and because it's SO entangled with the central thematic concepts of identity. In the first book flashbacks when the narrator is still a warship, "I" can encompass so many things, and sometimes explicitly refers to different facets in the narration--is "I" Justice of Toren, or One Esk, or a specific segment, or Breq narrating from twenty years in the future? "I" isn't simple, isn't unified, and while this is most literal and obvious with Breq/One Esk/Justice of Toren and Anaander Mianaai's split factions it's true constantly throughout the work at every level of scope. Individual characters struggle with internal conflicts and hit their breaking points--what is it that makes someone decide they have to disobey orders and make a stand or they won't be themself anymore? How do you know who you are if you've been forcibly changed (Tisarwat) or if the world you knew has moved on and become unrecognizable (Seivarden)? How does a character on a colonized world navigate the split identity that comes from the pressure to assimilate to the dominant culture? And then there's the Radch writ large, all the Radchaai so deeply invested in the idea that there is only one true concept of Radchaai society, of civilization, but of course there isn't! It changes based on location and over time, and Breq muses that the Radchaai empire would be largely unrecognizable to the isolated sphere of the Radch itself. In these books, even if you aren't the last remnant of a destroyed spaceship and its legion of bodies, "I" is such a complicated concept and the narrative never lets you forget it.
#imperial radch#i looooove it#first-person but Let's Make It Weird#and that's not even touching on the way Breq can get data from Mercy of Kalr once she's captain#so as long as Ship is watching she can see third-person-style scenes with her crew#and has access to their biometric data#so she can see what they're doing and make guesses about how they're feeling#but sometimes she's very very wrong!#('Seivarden doesn't love me.' girl please.)#and how that's ALSO tangled up in The Themes#because she's not a ship anymore! she only has one human brain so she can only pay attention to one thing at a time#can only watch one scene playing out; can't process all the data that Ship's collecting#can't swap out bodies when she's tired or regulate her own emotions or hold herself or sing with herself#and it reminds her of everything she's lost and it breaks her heart!#but it would also break her heart to give it up.
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i'm sure it's been said but i do love how trimax handles wolfwoods death. i've seen so many stories that have characters die and they just go away after. i'm really used to stories where the other characters aren't allowed to grieve, the story keeps going and it feels like the other characters aren't really affected or get over it really easily. but in trimax wolfwoods death is so important. we see other characters grieving him. vash protecting the orphanage, expanding his power when he really shouldn't, because it was wolfwood's home, even though wolfwood is already gone. he gets an actual burial. vash and livio eating their way through the grief, which is more comedic but still shows us how important he was to the two of them, sets up how in many ways they're fighting in his memory.
even after he's gone he's still present in the story in such a strong way. we can see how he's affected the other characters, even when they don't explicitly mention him it's obvious that they're thinking about him. what he did when he was alive, and his death itself, are so important to the story even after he's not there. not just in a really abstract "this is someone we lost" way (though there are a lot of times his death and sacrifice motivate vash and livio to fight harder!) he's present in the finale in a material way to livio, who uses his serums to help fight against elendira, which ofc also ties into the way wolfwoods choice to ally with vash and fight against knives gave livio strength to do the same. wolfwood showed him that there are things worth fighting for, things worth protecting. that your body is a weapon, but you can choose what to do with it, use it for something meaningful.
and the way vash kills legato in order to save livio? vash outright says that he did it to protect what wolfwood fought for, sacrificed his life for. it's tied to the ongoing arc between vash and wolfwood, their conflict over the necessity of killing others. wolfwood pushed vash into having an understanding of his views when he was alive, demonstrating the necessity of that violence. simultaneously, vash inspired wolfwood to follow his path, a kinder one. vash remembers what wolfwood said to him, and his death gives those words added poignancy. wolfwood well and truly sacrificed everything to protect what he loved and fight for what he believed in. how can vash let that go to waste? he sacrifices something just as meaningful to himself, and he pulls the trigger. it brings him closer to wolfwood in a way he never was before. he understands now, fundamentally, what motivates people, motivated wolfwood, to act as he did when he took lives. there are so many other ways wolfwood is present in the story after his death i can't talk about all of them but it makes me so crazy
#trigun#trigun maximum#nicholas d. wolfwood#not to say that there aren't lots of stories that handle character death well bc there are!#i am by no means an expert in media but in my experience esp with like#action anime in particular it can be p common for important characters to die and then their death is just not processed at all#i know that stories have to keep things moving but it feels so weird when characters don't grieve or even cry at least a little!#like that was a person that you knew! are you not affected in any way!#it can feel so dehumanizing to me imo when characters bounce back so quickly after someone they knew died like c'mon#at least to me anyways#that's why i love the scene where vash cries after ww dies in 98 too. maybe i just don't consume enough media where characters die#but i was really surprised that they included that! surprised and pleased. it felt like such a human thing for him to do#to try and pretend everything is ok but he just can't ignore the fact that ww is dead and it just hits him#right there in the street in the middle of the day. and there's not anything he can do but cry. ugh#.lieii#trigun analysis#trigun livio#vash the stampede#trigun meta#.lieii txt#honestly i haven't read the finale arc in a while so i don't want to talk too in depth about it#but it is really excellent how present he is. without being present#talking about trimax is so hard bc there's so much. so many themes#me when a story has themes: GRAAH#like every post i make this is rambling and doesn't have much of a point but do you get what i'm saying#come to collieii hq where you get an essay in the post and another much worse essay in the tags#trimax spoilers
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I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...
Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner
*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)
And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -
TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows
This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).
So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.
Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.
Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.
Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).
But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).
In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.
Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.
Now, doing the same thing for movies-
Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)
That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).
116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.
So, a for broader summary stuff..
I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.
If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.
ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.
I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0
#maybe this is my version of spotify wrapped lol.. Lifetime Media Google Doc Wrapped.. kind of.. except I'm not going over specific titles.#I can't do this with music since I rarely EVER look for new music or add to my Youtube To MP3 folder library as I just don't really#listen to music that often. When I'm working (the majority of when I seek background noise) I need like.. people's talking voices#for some reason. Just instruments and singing are not distracting enough to me to work as background noise because theyre#almost TOO in the background if that makes sense? like if I put music on then I just tune it out and it's virtually no different#than if I were daydreaming stream of consciousness thoughts in an entirely quiet room lol. And I can't really do it with books since#essentially 100% of what I read is non-fiction. usually about some specific subject or academic topic OR stuff like#1800s magazines or cookbooks or historical people's diaries. Which is not really.. the type of thing I would#rank as easily I guess? like 'ooh yeah putting the sociology textbook in my top 5 hee hee right next to the 1920s radio recipes book' lol.#Then for games... I just sadly dont play enough of them. I've been banned from new games as I've told myself I cant play anyting#long form (no rpgs or etc) until I actually finish MY OWN game first - to keep me from wasting time. so on average#I play... 0 new games a year. ToT... I do play the sims sometimes but that's really all (which is not a new game at all since#I've been playing it on and off for years). Thus I guess movies/TV are really the only things that make sense#to collect this sort of information on. I could do youtube videos I guess also but that seems kind of strange like...#giving a rating to every single video I watch in a ranked list lol.. Especially since I would say a good 85% of the time#they are exclusively background noise whilst I'm working on something or cleaning the house or etc. and not things I pay serious attention#to. There are only a few specific topics/types/creators of videos I watch where I'm ACTUALLY sitting in front of a screen paying#direct attention to the content (usually when it's educational or political things). Everything else is too mindless to even rank.#ANYWAY... ever analyzing my little hermit Weird Relationship To Media (in the sense of seemingly not processing or getting the same#things out of it as many other seem to). I think that can contribute sometimes to the whole difficulty socializing and stuff#since our culture is very centered around media consumption generally speaking. People want to talk about The New Movie that came#out or The Big TV Show Of The Year. and for me it's like.. highly likely I just plain have NOT seen it. Or if i have. statistically#I most likely was entirely ambivalent if not slightly negative towards it lol. Which just kind of takes the steam out of a 'fun' 'casual'#conversation and you seem like a bit of a bummer if most of your only feedback is either 'idk what that is' or 'oh yea... i did#see that one.... i didnt like it all that much though... I think it'd be better with elves in it.. and 7 hours longer..'' lol..#Which I am not disliking things in a 'grr i hate it bc its popular'/just to be contrarian way. I actually dislike that mindset/find it#silly (by striving so hard to be counterculture you are thus still defining yourself by the whims of external culture - just in the#opposite direction. but are still just as preoccupied with the mainstream (going against it) as everyone else. etc. lol..)) In my#case I think it IS just having niche hyperspecific tastes.. for example- it peeves me when cell phones are in media bc I dont want to be#reminded at ALL of the real world. so.. cross off anything set in modern times. so on & etc. Judging all things by these weird criteria lol
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