#i can't do this.
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Hey, guys, I've been trying my best to get through the day and stuff, and I really just can't do this right now. I'm struggling pretty hardcore. I'm trying to post things that aren't, like, horribly depressing or something, and I even had plans to post a prayer or two, but I just can't do this. There's a lot happening in my life, outside of the major historical events, and I don't really have much support in-person for a lot of it (partially due to the crazy shit happening). Seeing so many people reaching critical points of depression, anxiety, and nihilism has had an extremely negative impact on me. Everyone is processing this in their own way, and I'm not bashing on that; it's just not good for me to be around. So I'll be heading out for a while. How long, I can't say, but it's clear to me that I need to go away.
Take care, everyone, and please remember to prioritize your mental health, too, whatever that looks like for you. I'm sorry I couldn't do more to be encouraging during this time. Genuinely, please take care. 🧡
#blog post#i can't do this.#some part of me just wants to give up entirely honestly.#but I know i won't (which is almost kind of annoying im a way)#i wish i was allowed to be angry#and i wish i knew how to direct that anger#and i wish a lot of things.#I'm sure many people do.
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i can't fucking believe this i can't fucking believe this why did no one tell me david was on a show with a STREET HYPNOTIST and got HYPNOTISED are you KIDDING ME I'M SURPRISED I SURVIVED THIS
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not to fucking mention. the fucking time travel seeing the future shit. like i already sort of thought the fourth dimension might be more fluid to us than we think but oh my days. wow.
#david tennant#!!!!!!#i can't survive this#i'm going to die from this my all time favourite hypnosis fics are already of fucking david tennant characters getting hypnotised bC HE'S M#Y CRUSH#i can't survive this guys i can't survive this i am literally. i'm. i'm fucking turned on by hypnosis i am not doing well#i can't do this#googeol how to mjake this happen again with me there#FUCK. WHAT#i can't do this.#i literally have a fucking hypnokink guys this is not good for me#i can't do this..#i cAN'T DO THIS;#video#what thr fuck#this is so old#i am three years older than this video#i'm going insane#this has BEEN THERE.#FUCK#marzipan speaks#;;;;;;;::.;:.#fuckign.#tennantposting#I FUCKING GUESS#david tennant vid#oh good lord
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i will burn down all of monaco if charles or max don't win. no one else. NO ONE ELSE.
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I've been looking at job listings for like two hours and I feel more useless and stupid than ever before.
#literally like. I can't do anything :)#I don't feel qualified for most office jobs even though I studied business at uni#not because of the degree or what I learned or didn't learn#I just feel extremely incapable and overwhelmed and even the thought of applying for any of these jobs makes me so anxious that it feels#like I'm gonna vomit#I can't do this.#and I can't do any physical jobs either.#no customer service stuff because I tried that and it was absolute hell#idk I just. don't want to try and then fail again after a month. I think that would just be. the end. like. I wouldn't be able to try#again after that#so I can't just apply for everything anyway.#I don't know.#other people can do this#everyone does it#but I feel like I'm gonna die#ugh.. wouldn't that be nice#personal#also. it's 6 am. I haven't slept. awesome! :)))
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ohhhh i'm fucked. i am so fucked
#i can't fucking draw anymore and i have like two weeks to finish this fucking project#i can't do this.#um. i'm gonna have to#well.#i make this post every two weeks i swear#persimmon's rambles
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WHY DO I GET GENDER ENVY FROM MUTANT TURTLES I'M IN HELL
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........
this is it i quit i can’t do this. i can’t do this. as if the DossSS weren’t already disgusting now you’re adding that to the table? all while making me suffer because of Justin’s voice? why would you do this to me.
#Lobelia who's whole thing is that he gets off to screams of pain#in the band where the bassist loves to stab their drummer#bc the drummer gets off from the pain???#i can't do this.#i can't.#(im being overdramatic for the bit i'm having a blastà#ichablogging gbf#ichablogging dandyevent
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tears. tears are forming.
Sometimes I feel like I’m still there
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Combining my two biggest fixations atm <3
Edit: bonus comic!!
#I suck at drawing Laios#It's the armor I just can't do it#my art#dunmeshi laios#laios fanart#Dungeon meshi#Undertale#Undertale fanart#flowey#Undertale flowey#Fanart
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Motaz Azaiza interviewed by Ajstream after fleeing Gaza, please do watch the whole interview...
#he just turned 24 yo#I can't imagine how many dreams aborted by what's happening#please do watch the whole interview#motaz azaiza#free palestine#gaza
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#i don't believe that people for serious reasons sort their books any way but by author#and then obviously by release date/series within that#i am being told that i am being JUDGY#also if you sort your books any other way HOW DO YOU FIND THEM#i really need to know#polls#can't believe i forgot to include genre in here
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can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024
#ramble#if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands#you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things#some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible#the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think#i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex#this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!!#how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about#yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian#you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate
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this post is fearmongering. the results of this study are concerning and should definitely be a matter of public discussion, but this is certainly not the conclusion the researchers came to.
the point of the study was to assess the risks of exposure to toxic metals- something one of the co-authors notes are “ubiquitous” fwiw- via menstrual products. Their research confirmed that these metals are indeed present in tampons, but no further conclusions are drawn. it is possible the metal entered into the cotton from the soil, which is a well-known phenomenon; cotton is so good at lifting heavy metals that it has actually been suggested as a part of the solution for revitalizing polluted ground.
the authors conclude with an acknowledgement that the study should be repeated- their sample size was 60 tampons- and a suggestion that further testing ought to be done to indicate whether or not these metals can even leech out of the tampon in the first place, let alone whether or not such leeching could occur at levels deleterious to human health.
there is, in fact, a body of research- too small, for sure, but much larger than this single study- indicating that long-term proper tampon use has no observable negative impact on health. i am grateful and thrilled that more research is being done and i hope that this study is the first of many on this line of questioning, but i am really frustrated at this post and the response it got.
obviously, if this study alters your approach to menstrual health, more power to you. consumers should be informed-risk-takers, and menstrual health is double-obviously a very personal choice. but it definitely wasn't the researchers concluding that you ought to “avoid using tampons at all cost," only this tumblr user did. the lead author of the paper, in fact, specifically says that she hopes people do NOT panic about the results.
(the notes of the post were disappointing. people affirming that they knew they were right to be suspicious of tampons all along, or even recommending alternatives that actually have very little to no research regarding the safety of long-term use, etc. it’s a different conversation, but categorical distrust of tampons is old-school misogyny. you certainly shouldn't wear them if you don’t want to, but there is nothing inherently scary or wrong about them, and people who prefer them are not being reckless or crass.)
((if you're really worried about exposure to heavy metals, you may want to turn a critical eye to fast fashion, as an aside))
#couldn’t reply to the original#so. sorry for the screenshot lol. but i can't put my two cents there. and this topic bugs me (grew up in anti-tampon country)#(Utah)#i do not blindly believe that tampon brands are looking out for us or anything. i hope that comes across here.#anyway. it's something to keep an eye out for more research. i hope this team is able to continue their work
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can you believe that we have fanfiction. that we have websites dedicated to fanfiction. that there is a place that you can go and read tens, hundreds, thousands and thousands of pieces of writing that strangers have made. people who are not "writers". people who come home at the end of the day and have feelings and say, i am going to put that into words. i am going to share those words. short, long, sweet, sad, horny, funny, wonderful words. we are all just human and we all love to make and remake and share that with others. can you believe that.
#ao3#archive of our own#fanfiction#sometimes i can't even believe how much i myself have written. like i think i am not a writer. i am not doing enough. i do not write enough#and i look back and i have 34 (34!!) works on ao3 and reams of unpublished work on my computer and so long left to live. so i think#we will be okay.#writing
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i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".
it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.
do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.
but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.
do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).
you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.
walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.
no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.
do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."
you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.
there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.
i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.
he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."
#spilled ink#warm up#“why did u tag it warm up” bc i wrote it off the cuff while drinkin coffee lol#btw the 30 dollar buy in for the dog walking is bc they pay the organizer a small pittance so she can#run fb ads and stuff and like she does put in a lot of work i don't mind paying her#but that's exactly what im fucking talking about like.#ppl can't afford to volunteer their time anymore and we all understand it!!! everything costs money for everyone!#like we didn't have to use to say ''do you mind paying me back for the stuff we ate''#we used to be able to afford to feed our friends once in a while!!!
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(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)
#MY GIRLLLLLLLL <333333 you're doing amazing sweetie kill them all you deserve to#anyway. coping mechanism. the problems in my life i could solve if society just let me have a death note#this show really is an exercise in patience and suffering i get SO squicked out#by how much the horrible characters and situations mirror the insanity of what's happening in real life#also the revelation that some of the actors are Exactly as shitty as their characters are is. ugh.#but every time i'm like okay i can't take it i need to stop to protect my headspace#i think of kimiko and am like.... no... i need to see my gir....#hope karen gets jucy roles in other shows too PLEASE#the boys#kimiko miyashiro#karen fukuhara#theboysedit#tvedit
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