#i can't describe with words how good this manga is or how much it means to me

[ultramarine-spirit]

Yesterday I finally received my copy of Butterfly and Empire 「蝶と帝国」! Manga and novel. The standee is one I commissioned myself, for personal use only and with the blessing of the author. I couldn't be happier... In this post, I'll review this masterpiece of a manga!

My loved ones, my way of life,

To whom should I point the anger for everything that I've lost?

God? The Emperor? Or the revolution?

Set in Imperial Russia at the beginning of the 20th century, this is a novel depicting the love and revenge of women at the mercy of the malice of the times.

Original novel by Yoshitaka Nanboku, adapted to manga form by Minoda Kaidou (MNDH) (also here on Tumblr!).

All pictures were taken from publicly available tweets and my copies of the manga

This is an absolute masterpiece. A story that's not just about the romantic relationship between the main leads, Kira and Elena, but also about Russia's turbulent state at the time. It's so refreshing to read an historical piece with lesbian characters, and to see their relationship be crafted with such seriousness and care. I cried many times. The setting is also so carefully depicted, I'm absolutely amazed by the attention to detail.

Keep in mind that this manga is intended for adult readers! Not only are there sexual scenes (also very refreshing to see in a yuri manga), but most importantly, the story deals with very serious topics, such as violence, antisemitism, sexual abuse, war, and more. I've seen it be described as "a yuri that could never be published on Yurihime", if that tells you anything. In other words, it's a heavy read, but one I can't recommend enough.

You can read a free preview of the manga here. If this wonderful story interested you, please support the authors by buying the manga here and the novel here. English translations... you can probably find them, somewhere!

Oh, also, if you are interested, we've commissioned a couple of fanarts (with the author's blessing). You can find them here, here, and here. More to come in the future.

Now, I will go cry again...

[omgsecretsecret]

Mintitties

Saw this Lino pic and couldn't help myself

Pairing : subby Lee Minho x dom gn!reader

Genre : smut/VERY suggestive

Word count : about 750

Warning : men wearing slutty bralette ; mention of handjob ; not very described oral sex (m receiving) ; mention of praise and 'good boy' ; implied public suggestive ig if that makes sense?

Author's note : I've been having something for Minho's tits chest for a while now and I had to write it down ; it's a bit different from usual ; this is not proofread and I wrote it very quickly sorry ; the drawing on top is from "Master x Secretary" on Scan-Manga (you can look on Google, it's a hot, nice and short yaoi)

First idea : Thinking about humiliated, shy Minho being scared someone would see the lacy little slutty bralette you made him wear under his very thin white shirt, just the thought making his ears turn red, and his dick twitch.

Taglist : @giddyfatherchris <3

Masterlist

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It's so hot to see the way his chest look so big now that he got more buff, sometimes almost like actual fucking tits when his tight shirts hug his body so good as he moves.

So when you randomly happen look for clothes and see some pretty little bralette's made for male bodies, your boyfriend immediately comes to your mind and you have to buy one.

Making him wear it was kinda hard. He likes this kind of stuff, but he'll never admit it, and you know that. He'd keep saying that such a pretty little bra is something you should have, but the way his ears were red from the second you mentioned him wearing it are a dead giveaway. Don't expect him to agree easily just because he is obviously turned on by the idea though, no. This man wants to look tough, like he is the one in command no matter what, even though you both know it is definitely not always the case.

You have to play a little bit dirty to get him to do it, almost begging him with pleading eyes as if you were the one submitting. It makes him feel powerful and he likes it. You do too honestly, he's so cute like this, trying to be dominant when you can always see the tiny little bit of excitement in his demeanor, so you let him have his fun.

Maybe he'll be a bit mean and make you suck him off just to be sure you want him to wear that, and you have to agree because it's just the best way to make him say yes, make him feel like he's on top. Plus it's not like you could ever say no to a dick like your boyfriend's. He's always so gorgeous when he struggles to keep it together because of your warm, wet mouth, trying to suppress his loudest moans.

In the end it works. Obviously. He watches you swallow everything he gives you, cheeks flushed and hair messy as he breathlessly says he'll wear your 'stupid bralette' between ragged pants, and you can't help but smirk.

His chest has always been so sensitive, one of your favorite parts of his body to play with. He gets so whiny when you gently knead his pecs or suckle on his pretty pink nipples, it's just irresistible.

You chuckle lightly as he whimpers when you help him put the damn thing on, watching as his ears turn red and you can't resist the urge to tease him. He protests but you shush him gently, reminding him that he agreed on doing that today. He closes his mouth with a blush, looking away and almost squirming in your hands when you whisper a praise in his ear.

You pull away when you're done, satisfied with the results as you look at him. He looks so hot wearing this, so shy but so turned, so yours.

He gasps when he looks at himself in the mirror, your hands lightly traveling over his torso to show him every little thing that makes him so beautiful in it. He gets so hard in his pants watching the way your hands move on his body. He finds himself so pretty.

You can't leave him like that, not when he looks back at you with such big doe eyes pleading you to touch him. So you help him again, make him cum in your hand as you keep telling him just how much of a beautiful slut he is for you.

He is a mess by the time you're ready to go out. You picked his thinest white shirt for him to wear, an almost see-through one.

If it starts raining, he's fucked.

He eyes you nervously when he comes out of the room wearing it, asking if it really is a good idea. You just tell him that he needs to be a good boy for you since he agreed on doing this, and you'll be there to take care of him. He shyly nods and you give him a kiss, ready to leave.

But when you open the door and accidentally brush your arm on his chest, he fucking moans.

How is he going to survive the whole day ?

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do not repost, translate or rewrite without my written authorisation

[aspoonofsugar]

What do you think of soukoku? Do you think Dazai has any role in helping Chuuya become a leader?

Hi!

I am not sure about Dazai helping Chuya to grow into a leader, even if I think Chuya will become a leader.

So far, I think Chuya's story in the manga is set-up to have two layers:

Becoming the leader of the mafia

Solving his relationship with Dazai

The first one is prepared in the Cannibalism arc. The second one instead permeates Chuya's screentime in the manga. After all, every arc ends with a sskk fight, but also every arc (minus Cannibalism) has skk parallel Atsu and Aku structurally:

The first arc ends with sskk's first real fight over Kyouka. Just some chapters before, there is Chuya's introduction and his first confrontation with Dazai

The second arc ends with sskk vs Fitzgerald, but the climax is kickstarted by skk vs Lovecraft

The current arc has clearly paralleled sskk's real struggle while Aku is vampirized with skk's fake one over Chuya's brainwashing

In short, sskk and skk are almost always paralleled structurally, which means that even if the new generation is gonna save the world, the old one has still a role to play. Most likely, this role ties with Dazai's arc, which is probably gonna take flight in the climax of the series.

In general, Dazai's plan to make Aku and Atsu partners has a double objective:

a pragmatic one- the combination of their abilities is gonna save the world

an existential one - Dazai is trying to save himself through the two kids

Dazai projects all his past bonds on Atsushi:

Atsushi embodies Odasaku's goal to save orphans

Atsushi is Dazai's second chance to be a good mentor after Akutagawa

Atsushi is an attempt Dazai does to indirectly help Akutagawa after leaving him

The sskk's partnership reveals how Dazai is still emulating Mori to an extent. Mori sets up skk's alliance and Dazai does the same with Atsu and Aku

Finally, Dazai pushing Atsushi and Akutagawa together, so that they can save each other is an indirect aknowledgement of the importance the bond with Chuya has for him.

Sskk represents Dazai's redemption, to an extent. He couldn't help Oda, but can help Atsushi. He left Aku behind, but can still save him through Atsushi. He can't properly communicate with Chuya, but he can recreate his bond with him through Aku and Atsu.

Still, what is Dazai and Chuya's bond? Let's explore soukoku! (Here I finally come to your ask after much blabbering).

DOUBLE BLACK = DOUBLE LONELINESS

Soukoku is a play on words:

It is pronounced "conflict"

It means "double black"

Soukoku sounds like conflict because that is Dazai and Chuya's superficial relationship. They are always annoying each other and fighting. Their whole dynamic is a rivalry.

Soukoku means double black because it describes the meeting between two darknesses. Dazai and Chuya are both engulfed by black, so together they make the black double. They are double darkness.

What does the darkness in Dazai and Chuya's life stands for? The answer is found in Fifteen:

" " existed in a sterile bluish-black darkness. There was no up or down, backward or forward. Even the flow of time was ambiguous. " " had no idea who it was or why it was there. (...) Beyond the heavy darkness was a clear wall. " " knew instinctively that the wall was keeping it inside - that it was a seal. (...) But one day, that seal was destroyed. The sacred realm had been opened, the darkness had been tainted, and the outside world had intruded. Someone was calling " ". (...) A man's powerful hand grabbed on to " ", and reddish-black flames erupted from where it touched. Those were the cries of a newborn. (Fifteen, phase xx)

Chuya recalls his time in the lab as fluttering in a bluish darkness (the black fluid) sealed by a glass wall (the tube). This state is one where he feels nothing and isn't anyone. It is perfect solitude. And yet, Verlaine and Rimbaud come and bring Chuya into the world. They taint the darkness, which is nothing, but Chuya's loneliness:

LONELY DARKNESS MY SORROW, once it is opened by the key I'd rather just fall than go back to being alone Staring at the destroyed cage of this self, (GRAVITY) Slowly, I sing, "Not bad at all."

Chuya is scared to find himself alone again. And yet, he deep down wishes to go back to a perfect and untainted darkness:

I want nothing anymore but simplicity, quiet, murmurs and order. O acquaintances, grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me again! I will endure my solitude, arms seeming already useless.

In the verses used to activate corruption, the poet gives up on life and community. He chooses nothingness and loneliness instead. So, every time Chuya awakens Arahabaki he is metaphorically giving in to these feelings. He is letting the Tainted Sorrow take control.

This is the contradiction Chuya is built on. He consciously doesn't want to be alone, but unconsciously he is tempted by the bluish darkness of his childhood. Dazai is instead Chuya's opposite. He behaves as if he is unapproachable, but deep down he craves human connections. Chuya and Dazai are made of similar parts, but show and hide different things. This is why they seem opposite, but are actually the same.

They are two lonely people, who crave companionship, but know that bonds come with pain. They are victims of the hedgehog's dilemma:

The hedgehog's dilemma, or sometimes the porcupine dilemma, is a metaphor about the challenges of human intimacy. It imagines a group of hedgehogs who want to huddle together for warmth in the winter, but they cannot avoid sticking each other with their sharp spines. Though they all want a close mutual relationship, their own prickly nature might make this impossible.

Can Dazai and Chuya grow close to people or does their nature make them impossible to understand? Is it worth it to search for intimacy, when it comes with pain? These feelings and doubts are the true nature of Dazai and Chuya's darkness. They are soukoku because they are double loneliness.

Fifteen is the story of these two lonely people meeting:

They picked what they deemed the fairest method of deciding things: the loser would have to obey the winner no matter what. They ended up playing close to a hundred matches, but that's a story for another time. (Fifteen)

Dazai and Chuya are two abnormal teenagers. Dazai is too smart, while Chuya is too strong. This is why they find themselves with no real peers. However, when they meet each other they find someone they can act their age with.

Dazai is usually gloomy and makes people around him uncomfortable. However, when he is with Chuya he gets angry and annoyed like other kids.

Chuya needs to always act as a leader and to put the Sheep's needs before his own. This is why he acts dead serious when he meets Shirase and the girl at the arcade. However, when he is with Dazai he goes back to be himself. He shows his feelings and acts silly, like a teenager should.

Dazai and Chuya don't like each other, but they are attracted to each other because the other brings out a hidden part of who they are. A part tied to humanity and life.

NO LONGER HUMAN

Dazai's skill is called No Longer Human because he feels inhuman:

"He's already dead," said Chuuya. "Quit shooting his corpse." Dazai was puzzled. His expression was bizarrely childlike- fit for a boy his age, yet unlike any he had shown before. His lips suddenly curled into a gloomy smile. "You're right. When you're right, you're right. That's the most common reaction to have." (...) His expression was back to how it usually was: lifeless and utterly disinterested. "Ha-ha. Normal. Ha-ha-ha." (Fifteen)

Dazai sees himself as wrong and thinks Chuya is far more normal than he is. Sure, he has an incredibly powerful skill, but deep down he is just another kid. This is why the reveal of Chuya's background leaves such an impact on Dazai:

Chuya: Arahabaki is me.

It forces him to look outside himself and to reconsider what it means to be human. The point of Dazai's character is that he thinks he is this impossible to read being, who stands above others. And yet, he is really a normal person. Not only that, but he is also pretty childish. He wants friends and grows attached to the few people who step into his loneliness (Mori, Chuya, Oda, Ango, Akutagawa, the ADA). And yet, he sucks at communicating with them out of fear, which leads to more problems than needed. In synthesis, the story of Dazai in Fifteen is really that of an emo kid, who discovers the jock has more reason than him to be emo.

This is why Chuya grows linked to the idea of humanity in Dazai's mind:

"You sound like you're certain he's human." "I am." Dazai sighed, smiling. "There's no way I could hate a man-made character string this much." (Storm Bringer)

In Storm Bringer, Dazai risks the destruction of Yokohama to prove that Chuya is human. He does so because if a guinea pig like Chuya is a normal human, then surely Dazai can be human, as well. Dazai cares about Chuya's humanity because it is linked to Dazai's own humanity. It gives him hope.

THE SUICIDAL BASTARD WANTS TO LIVE

Chuya's skill is called Upon the Tainted Sorrow because deep down Chuya wants to die:

The Tainted Sorrow has Nothing to desire and nothing to wish. The Tainted Sorrow has A dream of death to its wary self.

This is why he is so disturbed by Dazai's suicidal tendencies. He sees a dark mirror of himself in the other boy. This is why Dazai's sudden wish to live impresses Chuya so much:

"Working for the mafia has piqued my interest, albeit slightly," Dazai began. "In the outside world - the world of light - death is kept separate from everyday life. It's swept under the rug. People find it unpleasant. But the Mafia's world isn't like that. Death is an extension of everyday life. And I tend to think that's more accurate. Death isn't the opposite of life, but merely a function of it. We breath, eat, fall in love and die. And you can't get the full picture of living without observing death up close." Chuya quietly stared at Dazai's expression as if he were searching for something human deep inside of him. "So you're saying... you want to live now?" (Fifteen)

And after Dazai opens up about his feelings, Chuya does the same:

"Hey. You wanna know why I always fight without using my hands?" Chuuya asked as he approached Randou. (...) "I've never lost a fight in my life. I've never even been in real danger... But that's no surprise. After all, I'm not even human. My identity is a safeguard, like you said. Hey do you know how that feels? (...) That's why I kept my hands in my pockets. I figured I'd one day feel like I was about to lose, no longer enjoying the fight, but just doing everything I could to protect myself... I thought maybe that way I'd start to like myself as a person - me, a little pattern without a body of my own." (Fifteen)

Dazai and Chuya say the same thing. They both like risking their lives because in this way they feel they are truly living. It is only when they are fighting to survive that they can truly believe in their humanity.

The twist of Fifteen is that Chuya seems more normal than Dazai, but he is really as self-hating and as suicidal as the other teen. And yet, it is because of this similarity that Chuya ends up associating Dazai to life:

Dazai: You used Corruption, believing in me? How beautiful. Chuya: Yeah, I did. I believed in your disgusting vitality and craftiness.

In Dead Apple, Chuya jumps in front of a Dragon and activates Corruption because he refuses to believe Dazai might really be dead. He needs to hold on to the idea Dazai is alive because Dazai's willingness to live gives him the strength to keep on living, as well. After all, if a suicidal bastard wants to live, then surely Chuya can share this wish, as well.

ON HUMANITY AND LIFE - RIMBAUD'S FINAL MESSAGE

Dazai and Chuya are two suicidal and self-hating kids, who meet each other and realize they are not alone in their feelings. This doesn't make their sense of loneliness disappear, but they can at least be lonely together. They recognize each other as human beings, who want to live:

"Your plan better not fail and get us both killed, or I'm gonna kill you, Dazai." Dazai smiled back at him. "I'm fine with that. Now, let's do this, Chuuya." (Fifteen)

Chuya reveals he is Arahabaki and Dazai admits he wants to live. The result of this shared moment of vulnerability is that the two kids enter an alliance and defeat Rimbaud, who is trying to take away their humanity and life. And yet, it is Rimbaud's last words which convey the lesson Dazai and Chuya need to learn:

"Live," Randou said in almost a whisper. "There is no longer... any way of knowing... who you are or where you came from," he rasped. "But even if... you are but a pattern... etched on the surface of raw power... you are you. Nothing changes that... because all people, all humanity... their brains and flesh... are nothing more than patterns - beautiful patterns... upon the material world..." (Fifteen)

Everybody feels cold. Everybody looks for answers they aren't gonna find. The dark feelings Dazai and Chuya have are proof they are humans. And the only thing humans can do is to keep on living, despite it all.

TOGETHER ALONE

Bsd is full of people who are together alone. Let's consider two of these bonds, which foil soukoku:

Rimbaud and Verlaine

Fyodor and Gogol

Rimbaud and Verlaine

Rimbaud and Verlaine are Chuya's literary parents and their relationship clearly foils soukoku. In particular, they fall apart because of communication problems:

Rimbaud doesn't understand Verlaine's pain

Verlaine fails to open up to Rimbaud

The end result is that Verlaine betrays Rimbaud and their confrontation escalates into a fight, which ends with the worst outcome possible for both. Not only that, but they end up projecting their issues on Chuya (their metaphorical child). Rimbaud believes that if he makes Chuya his skill, he will find Verlaine again. Verlaine thinks that if he forces Chuya to come with him, he will stop feeling the loss of Rimbaud. In the end, though, they manage to find each other again through empathizing with Chuya.

Rimbaud understands Chuya's fears of not being human. In this way, he can finally understand Verlaine's feelings. By seeing Chuya is human, he also sees Verlaine as human. Because of this final realization, Rimbaud gives up on his humanity and turns himself into a singularity with no regrets. He becomes Verlaine's core and a proof of his friend's personhood.

Verlaine realizes through Chuya that he himself is human. In this way, he can finally aknowledge his grief over Rimbaud's death and apologize to his friend. Verlaine is a lonely monster, who finds redemption and humanity in a single meaningful bond. Rimbaud symbolically takes the place of his heart.

Dazai and Chuya have similar communication problems. Dazai is unable to be honest about how he feels about Chuya and the people he left behind in the mafia, as a whole. This is why soukoku's interactions are full of gags where Dazai jokes about dramatic confessions:

He probably has something to tell Chuya, but can't. If anything, he leaves the mafia without giving any explanations. And in Beast, he marches towards his death without telling anything to Chuya.

Chuya instead fails to truly understand Dazai's reasons. The mafia is Chuya's family and he is content with it, but it is an organization which sucks away Dazai's willingness to live. Chuya probably fails to see it.

The end result is that Dazai betrays the mafia and leaves both the organization and Chuya behind. It is probable that this past grudge is gonna come up eventually. If anything because past grudges keep being mentioned when it comes to soukoku and Chuya:

Not only that, but just like Rimbaud and Verlaine, it is possible soukoku has their own metaphorical child to save:

Q appears in Fifteen and is the person soukoku join forces to save in their first fight together in the manga. They clearly represent both Dazai and Chuya's inner child:

They are a problematic child taken in by Mori, like Dazai. They are taken advantage of and trapped because of their monstruous abilities. Dazai himself is assigned as Q's guardian.

They have a skill they deep down hate, like Chuya. They even admit they don't want their gift while tortured, just like Chuya does while a prisoner in Storm Bringer.

So, Q is the child Dazai and Chuya used to be. And yet, they both show very little sympathy for them. That is because they have yet to reconcile with the most frail parts of who they are. They can do so only through both Q and each other. Once they do, Dazai will be able to be honest and Chuya will be able to understand.

Fyodor and Gogol

Fyodor and Gogol share Dazai and Chuya's religious motif:

Dazai is often compared to a demon and Chuya to a God

Fyodor calls himself a God and Gogol refers to himself as a rebel angel (aka the Devil)

This imagery highlights how all four characters feel separated from the rest of humanity. At the same time, Fyodor and Gogol are set up as Dazai and Chuya's dark foils. It means they are pejorative mirrors of the characters. They have some traits Dazai and Chuya also possess, but taken up to eleven. In particular, the two couples' juxtaposition is centered around control, freedom and how these two ideas impact relationships.

Fyodor and Dazai are both manipulators. They are able to read others' behaviors perfectly and can control others' actions. This is why they can build exploitative relationships, where others are just puppets. Fyodor fully embraces this part of himself. This is why he refuses to forge real bonds and pushes Gogol away. He can't accept a friend with his own free will. Dazai instead has learnt from his many bonds that he can't fully control other people. No matter how much he tries to turn Chuya into a slave, he never gives up his freedom. He tries his best to stop Oda from dying, but his friend goes on with his suicidal plan. Ango betrays Dazai, despite their friendship. Kunikida is able to surprise Dazai in their first mission together. And so on:

Gogol and Chuya both feel trapped by the world and are constantly fighting against a sense of nihilism:

Even though it feels like I might be trapped, there is no room for sentiments I'll push myself to the limit and dye everything jet-black The world is a bird cage, faded in colour Even if I lament, I can't get out of this prison BUT NOW, DARKNESS MY SORROW I have not yet fallen apart So, as I laugh off this imposed inconvenience Let's overturn even the heavens and the earth (GRAVITY) Within the darkness, a shadow of a hat lightly dances.

Gogol's freedom is nothingness. It is the same nothingness Chuya experiences in the lab, before his rebirth into the world. It is poignant that Gogol uses similar imagery to the one Chuya sings about in his song. Both talk about a cage and the ability to fly away free from gravity. However, this wish can't be realized because being humans means not to be fully free. Neither from morality nor from feelings. Gogol wishes to escape from himself. This is why he wants to murder Fyodor. Because Fyodor is his only bond, a tie. Chuya instead keeps binding himself to others. He starts with the Sheep, goes on with the Flags and with the Mafia. Gogol keeps on fighting to free himself from everything. Chuya instead accepts he is always going to be a prisoner.

In other words, Fyodor wants to control everyone, while Gogol refuses to give up even a small fragment of his freedom. This is why they push each other away and (apparently) lose to soukoku in the current arc. In order to have a bond, you need to trust the other person and to sacrifice some freedom to them. Fyodor and Gogol refuse, so they fail to forge a true relationship.

Dazai and Chuya have similar flaws, but they are lucky enough to have many people to teach them about friendships and bonds. This is why they can have relationships with others.

That said, it is possible the next confrontation soukoku has with Fyodor and Gogol (yes, Fyodor is gonna be okay and yes, they are set up to fight in the future) won't go as smoothly. After all, the role of a dark foil is to challenge the character so they can see their shortcomings. This is gonna happen to Dazai and Chuya, as well.

A TAINTED DARKNESS

Dazai and Chuya are two people with opposite personalities and the same existential emptiness. This is why they gravitate toward each other, but also repulse each other. Theirs isn't a bond that can fix pain. Rather, it is a bond, which is real, despite all its contradictions. In a sense, it is the opposite of Dazai's romanticized double suicide:

Dazai curled into the fetal position and screamed, "Dying with Chuuya? Anything but thaaaat!!" (Storm Bringer)

Dazai and Chuya don't heal each other. However, they keep on living along each other, despite the pain and the messiness. They don't make the darkness disappear, but they manage to taint each other's blackness.

This metaphor is brought home by their use of "corruption".

Upon the Tainted Sorrow is a metaphor of Chuya's inner depression and nihilism. Whenever he activates Corruption, he lets this side of him take over. He goes back to his dark loneliness.

No Longer Human is a skill that nullifies others' skills and it is a metaphor of how Dazai feels estranged from others. Not a human being.

And yet, Dazai is able to use his inhuman gift to bring to the surface Chuya's humanity. At the same time, Chuya's loneliness is tainted by Dazai's touch. Once again, another hand comes into his dark world and brings him back to life.

In conclusion, double black is really two tainted lonelinesses.

[daily-hanamura]

Do you ever think about how Chie (and Yukiko iirc?) have both previously called Yosuke a disappointment, meaning they were, albeit in part, one of the reasons for his low self esteem

Obviously they didn't do it on purpose, since Yosuke always tries to act like those words don't phase him, always acting like he's very confident

But I wonder, if he were to ever open up to them and start showing his more sensitive side in general, how would the girls react? Like would they feel a bit guilty or something?

Many thoughts... many very, very disorganized thoughts......

Oooooh yeah I do indeed think about this, and apart from Chie and Yukiko, Teddie has also described Yosuke as a "prince of disappointment"/"everyone's favourite disappointment"

Yosuke, of course, also being the one that calls himself a disappointment the most.

So this is just my perspective based on my life experience, but I think that to some extent, it very much reflects the kind of humour that was very pervasive around that time. As a millennial it's pretty typical for friends to rib into each other as banter (see also Yosuke to Kanji) and to employ self-deprecation as a joke, and it's kind of a mark of friendship -- you really only do that to people that you're very close friends with, because it's about in-group jokes (e.g. Chie can call Yosuke a disappointment, but that random classmate can't) and a reflection of just how well you know a person.

It's kind of complicated to talk about because I'm not saying that it was necessarily good, since it can be quite insensitive if you're not conscious of someone's personal issues. And some people definitely don't enjoy that sort of humour, because it's also highly, highly contextual and easy to misread. Some bullies also use that as a justification for why they're saying mean things, which is especially unpleasant in the workplace LOL. I feel like as I've gotten older this has become less common? Or maybe I'm just not as comfortable with the friends I've made in adulthood to want to readily rip into them? But then again I have maybe three friends I'm willing to banter like this with and we've been close friends for about a decade, which I think kind of drives home the point I'm making about how this is the kind of joke you only make with people that you've been through a lot with, which the IT are. I think it's humour that's meaningful in the narrative context because it's a signpost that indicates their shared experience in the TV world was no trivial thing, just like how Yosuke calling Yu "aibou" reflects the same sentiment.

But, as you said, because of how Yosuke puts on an act of confidence, I don't think most people pick up on it other than Yu, because Chie, Yukiko and Teddie probably just think it's part of the bit that Yosuke is doing (Yosuke also refuses to show his weaknesses to anyone other than Yu, but that's probably another conversation). One of the weaker spots of P4/G (and P5), I feel, is that it isn't as revealing about the interpersonal relationships between characters outside of the protag character. Which I don't really expect, but it was really nice to see in P3. So all we have to go on is the spin offs, and I think if we compare Chie and Yukiko's distanced friendliness with Yosuke in the Magician manga vs their expression of reliance and dependence on Yosuke in P4AU, for example, we can see that developed dynamic.

Would they feel guilty? Probably, but they're also teenagers who are still figuring out interpersonal interactions and personal boundaries (and this goes for Yosuke as well), and I think this friction is sometimes just part and parcel of growing up. I do think that if Chie and Yukiko realise that Yosuke does have a sore spot about it they'd change the way they speak with him because they genuinely care about him, especially as they mature into adulthood.

Going a little off tangent now and this is just my headcanon, but I also wonder if Yosuke initiated that sort of humour with Chie and Yukiko shortly after their rescue to help them relax. Yosuke likes to use humour to diffuse tension (which doesn't always work) but it's not hard to imagine him sensing awkwardness from the two of them (they really weren't close friends at all prior to the TV world), so he makes himself the butt of a joke to get them to laugh, and when they latch on to it he's actually kind of happy because it means he's done something useful. (ngl ever since I saw Tamami's clown motif stage in p4d I have not stopped thinking about her parallels with Yosuke)

[hello-vampire-kitty]

Servamp Chapter 132 translation "To become gold"

The chapter is on Mangadex, however this post might not show up I used a link. After you read the chapter please check out the translation notes!

It's been a long time, but I finally managed to finish up this scanlation that I've started while I was still working...Now that I've quit I can translate the remaining chapters.

So, one line in this chapter made me go crazy for how long I had to contemplate on its meaning and maybe I still didn't understand it, but I try my best to explain.

TRANSLATION NOTES

On the first page, you can see that some words were written in parenthesis, to distinguish the furigana readings from the other ones. The translations are based on the furigana.

過去 (past), furigana 思い出 (memories)

未来 (future,) furigana これから (from now on)

It was weird to see that Shirayuki uses the honorific "san" for Yumikage, but I think it's because the traditional ways of the Tsukimitsu family. Maybe it's more common with historical settings, which I haven't seen much of.

About one of Shirayuki's lines, because it wouldn't have made sense in English, I wrote "goodness!" in order to express that she was shocked about what she heard Yumi say.

He used the pronoun 俺 "ore" which is the informal "I" and that's what Shirayuki repeated. Because English cannot express the degree of formality regarding "ore" and other pronouns, I couldn't have make her say "I" in the translation.

Shirayuki apparently had a problem with Yumi saying "ore", but Iori also uses ore. Maybe it's because she was more stricter with Yumi because he was the youngest and Iori was too old to be reprimanded for his language.

I also had some difficulty with Miyako's line and I used a direct translation because haven't found much alternatives, so I used "no substance", which was primarily how I found the Japanese phrase translated.

Some of you might have seen in dramas, anime/manga that teenagers who are delinquents would dye their hair blonde.

Because it's associated with being a teenager, I'm interpreting that Iori might have wished that he could enjoyed more of his adolescence like Yumi, because he was appointed the head of the family when he was eighteen.

Okay now, for the most difficult part I had with this chapter.

This is the page where I spent a few days trying to figure out what Hugh is saying because I can't tell precisely if he was speaking about Saint-Germaine or another subject in the panel before the last.

I've tried to break down what Hugh says :

奴はそういう機構だとしか解釈できぬ。

What gave me such a hard time was the word 機構 (kikou) which means system, mechanism, organization, structure.

It was tough to figure out how to apply these meanings, so when I was looking trough definitions and examples with this word, I wondered if maybe Hugh was saying "That is the only way he works/functions", regarding Saint-Germaine, when explaining to Yumi.

If you recall from previous chapters, the word "system" which was written in katakana to transliterate the English word, that used for the Servamps, referring to their structure basically, how they work.

Among synonyms for 機構 (kikou) I have found 制度 (seido) which was used by Tsubaki when I believe it was the first time that the word "システム" (system) was mentioned in chapter 87.

So, it could be that Hugh is implying that Saint-Germains's can only be understood (interpreted) [しか解釈できぬ means "interpreted only /no other way] only possessing that kind of system to him, in other words maybe something like mondus operandi, which involves the stuff Hugh mentioned (projecting and interfering with reality).

Basically, he's defined only in a single manner, he's described as being dangerous, that's what Hugh is telling Yumikage.

Or I could totally misunderstands Hugh's word, because omg like I said, it was the most complicated line in the whole chapter for me to adapt *cries*

I'm sorry if what I tried to explain doesn't make sense ;;

That's all for this chapter, still have a few more to work on and because I never got to look over most of the dialogue in those ones due to the fact that I didn't had the time when I still had my job, I hope that I won't have to deal with such difficult lines.

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

hi bestie do u have any ff writing advice ?? ur flow and imagery and STYLE is so so good i love it. how do u come up with such good ideas??

hi ! first of all thank you SOOOOOO much that means sm to me it genuinely makes me so happy to know that you enjoy my writing. !!

speaking of writing..it took me a while to figure out a system i was comfortable with. i'm a little all over the place in general and that translates a lot in my drafts ESPECIALLY LMFAOO if you caught one glance at my drafts it's mostly just a prompt of a few sentences and w spelling mistakes in every word cus i write them down so fast so as not to forget them LMFAOOO. but it really works for me !

i know a lot of people say it but it really works, literally just write ! it doesn't have to come out as a full beautifully crafted piece immediately, just write down anything you can and polish it up all you want later ! forcing inspiration to come to you almost always has the opposite effect, for me anyways !

for flow, i think i like to mostly write dialogue between characters out first and then write my descriptions and actions around that ! i always get more excited about writing dialogue more than descriptions (not that those can't be fun ofc !)

oh , this might help for imagery ! and idk if you've noticed but the structure of a lot of my writing is heavily based on animes and manga. like the set ups and punchlines. (massive nerd ik) like if you read some of my one shot's like this one, this one (probably one of my fav fics i've done btw) or my first born series FBRC, (especially this part) (this part was actually the one i was most excited to write, and it's heavily based off of kobayashi's dragon maid's actual good and not weird moments and soundtrack, listening to music also helps me out a lot too!)

i try to model my speech to what i think an anime episode of the scenario i thought about would look like. visualizing my writing helps me write a lot as well, if that helps ! a little fun fact for you, fujimoto's writing has influenced a lot of the way i describe situations in fics, since i really like the sorta 'childish' descriptions over super fancy ones (cus i can't write those, but i don't really like them veerry much, but a lot of them are enjoyable to read!!) i find it very endearing and it's one of the reasons why i enjoy writing childhood friends to lovers so much. it's this sorta simplistic level of thinkin that kids have if that makes sense and it works out really well if you wanna write fluffy pieces if that makes sense

some examples ! :

"he drags you around a little too hard but it's to show you something he knows you'd like and you repay him by being patient with him and letting him drag you around to his hearts content. he let’s you use the crayons he’d just denied another classmate seconds ago and when it’s really early in the morning and you’re still sleepy unlike your more energetic friend, he waits for you. sitting with you in the reading corner quietly commenting on a little bit of everything in the book you’re sharing until you’re awake enough to start the day because katsuki wanted you to be together through anything no matter what, starting the day without you was simply unimaginable."

"despite his quieter presence he always seemed to stand out to you. his bag is big enough to carry everything he needs without having to shove anything inside or leaving it half opened. he wipes his mouth with a tissue after he's done eating his lunch alone and his handwriting is pretty. his lashes are long and he's pretty."

"you hated it when people said that because the shoto you knew wasn't like that. he knew people talked about him and he hated being associated with his father. he likes the caramel you sneak in for him at school and you like the way his eyes light up when he guesses the flavour of fruit candies you make him taste. the shoto you know that ties your shoes for you and shares his umbrella with you, the one who half heartedly stomps into wet puddles with you, the one with the pretty lashes and pretty smile and pretty handwriting isn't like that."

there are a lot of other examples (im OBSESSED with this trope can you tell.) i like these sorts of simplistic childish ways of love. tiny little specks of affection that make the heart so much fonder in such little big ways..if that makes sense :>

i dunno if im just very..special, but since i have a lot of oc's and scenarios constantly flowing in my brain, most of my ideas just tend to be what i dreamed about the night before, or what i daydreamed about LMAOO. even random things that happened to me at school sorta go from "oh it would be funny if this happened to [insert character]" and then they snowball into more and more thorough ideas !

and of course as cheesy as it is the most important part is to have fun ! i cannot stress enough how important it is to be in the mindset when you're writing. it's like when people say to force yourself to draw so you don't 'lose it.' and i do think it can work to jog inspiration, but i believe that as long as you enjoy it, you'll never truly lose it. so i say, write when you feel like it and don't write if you don't, it can truly be very draining. but it's all up to what feels better for you !

anyways, i hope my insane ramblings helped you out a little bit, and have fun writing !!

much luv xxx

[leportraitducadavre]

Sakura & Naruto I

After much consideration, I've decided to write a post about Sakura and Naruto's dynamic, since I've received some asks regarding them (as friends and/or a romantic couple); in that sense, this will be an analysis of their interactions and how their relationship developed from the first time they met until the very end of Sasuke's Retrieval Arc in Part 1.

Everything will be under the cut, as I wish to add or edit my posts as I please even after the original publication.

Sakura is introduced during chapter three of the manga (Enter Sasuke!), being described by Naruto himself as "a total babe":

There's no telling how Naruto actually upset Sakura prior to this hostile interaction, and since there's no mention of it (rather, Sakura reflects the usual manner in which Naruto is treated by others), we can infer that Sakura dislikes him, often treating him and calling him annoying.

Furthermore, after Naruto accidentally kisses Sasuke, Sakura threatens him with physical violence (something that she ends up doing) and specifically tells him that "he makes her sick".

He ruins everything... he enjoys tormenting me! (...) I can't stand to have him anywhere near me!

Again, their interactions during their infancy are never shown, so we have yet to learn how Naruto and Sakura interacted prior to their graduation. It's true that Sakura could be lashing out about Naruto in an attempt to paint him as a non-threat to Sasuke's romantic status, but she appears to be sincere in her statements.

It's because he was badly brought up!! (...) He doesn't have to answer to anyone, ever, and it's made him completely selfish!!! If I did the kind of things he gets away with, my parents would ground me for life!

Her lack of sympathy for Naruto and his situation as an orphan is what gets her in trouble with Sasuke for the first time after he escapes Naruto's trap. Sakura, likely used to Naruto's own reaction when she badmouthed him (they were about to kiss after she specifically said she couldn't stand him), continued within the same line of speech about their teammate, not knowing Sasuke wasn't the one she shared her prior opinion nor the intimate moment.

Sakura was unaware of Sasuke's own condition as an orphan, which is why Sasuke is so harsh against her and why he uses her previous line about Naruto:

In response to Sasuke’s outburst, we get Sakura to reconsider her attitude towards Naruto.

I make him sick...? I wonder if Naruto feels that way, too... maybe, from now on, I could try being a little... nicer...?

It’s important to mention that she does not reconsider her words (which means, proclaiming that being an orphan is good), but the use of the phrase "you make me sick", which she earlier used against him.

Since she had used similar wording when trying to push Naruto away from her and Sasuke, and Sasuke did the same to her, she wonders if this is what it feels like to be dismissed in such a manner.

These two instances happen in the exact same chapter, making the parallel all the more obvious.

It's clear by the way she internally reacts to Naruto's pranks that she's far more similar to him than what she lets on, as inner Sakura is likely the consequence of her suppressing her "non-feminine" traits or true thoughts/emotions.

Sakura's presentation consists mostly of her feelings toward both her teammates, one (Sasuke) is presented in a positive manner while the other (Naruto) negatively. Neither Sasuke nor Naruto actually mentioned her during their introductions.

You Sakura, ignored Naruto, who was right in front of you while you focused your attention on Sasuke, though you didn't know where he was (...) Naruto tried to do single-handedly what should have been the work of all three!

It's interesting to note how on point Kakashi is about their characterizations but also, how Sasuke and Naruto acted in the exact same manner albeit with different reasoning. Naruto wanted to win against Kakashi alone in order to prove himself while Sasuke wanted to fight Kakashi alone because both Sakura and Naruto were nuances to him. In that sense, Naruto and Sasuke are extremely similar with the difference that Naruto believes his reasoning has a more positive value and therefore, is more understandable and achievable; while Sasuke's reasoning gives him a negative acknowledgment, as he's seen as inferior to Sasuke, who he admires.

Sakura decides to share her bento box with Naruto after Sasuke shares his own, she specifically does so after Sasuke says "You're no good to me if you're just going to be a liability," something that's quite significant as Kakashi priorly established how Sasuke saw them both as people who "got in his way", here Sakura is likely feeding Naruto to help Sasuke and not become a "liability" for his goals.

It's interesting how Sakura can't admit (or won't admit) her own emotions and/or appreciation of Naruto at least until they're not pointed out by somebody else, either because she doesn't feel confident enough to make what she believes could be a "valid" assessment or because she refuses to give him the relevance he has to her or the acknowledgment he seeks.

Source

This is even quickly mentioned during her entry in the Databooks, although it's specifically stated her great love is Sasuke (who doesn't love her in return).

Sakura is aware of Naruto's praises for her, as she mentions it during the tree-climbing training:

It's true that she frames this admission negatively as she was actually looking for Sasuke's compliment, yet this knowledge is what later pushes her to seek his appraisal once Sasuke leaves.

Naruto is shown constantly refuting Sakura's prior assessment of him, which is their particular narrative subplot within Wave's Arc. In this specific portion of the manga, we get to see the improvement of dynamics like Naruto-Sasuke and Sakura-Naruto specifically, as these are the relationships mostly shown and explored. This can be easily proven through various interactions:

Naruto disappears every day and goes to train on his tree-climbing, as apparently Sasuke does as well, when Naruto falls later in this scene, is Sasuke who saves him -having mastered the technique.

This specific interaction is so interesting that I don't know why I skipped over it during my re-read. Sakura encourages both Naruto and Sasuke (who are fighting Haku) to win or rather "not lose to a person like him [Zabuza]", and is immediately chastised by Kakashi, who tells her that her teammates aren't up for the task of defeating "that boy", as they haven't "developed the psychological strength to turn their hearts to ice and take a human life" (x).

This interaction implies that Sakura is somewhat more prepared than both her teammates (although I genuinely think she is as vulnerable as them to perform the exact same task at this point in time, when Sasuke attacks in order to kill during the Chünin Exams, her reaction isn't from someone willing to perform the same thing), Kakashi specifically leaves her out of the equation when her addition involves neither more time nor more analysis, and all three share the same kind of military experience outside of Konoha.

We can clearly see that Sakura, despite the improvement of her initial relationship with Naruto, still focuses her entire attention on Sasuke (x, x), despite knowing Naruto is inside Haku's glass dome.

I’d like to say that this page, which is located after Sakura asks Naruto where is Sasuke after their fight against Haku is incredibly pretty and emotional, Sakura is a child here, a child that desires nothing but to run towards the boy she likes once she hears he’s “wounded”, yet she doesn’t want to disobey her leader, which is why Tazuna offers to run with her. Sakura grabbing Tazuna’s hand and saying “uh-huhn” is meant to show her as the small child she is.

Wave Arc comes to an end and Sakura asks Sasuke out on a date, to which he declines "uh, no. Thanks", to that, Naruto offers himself to go out with her to which she replies "Naruto! No! Knock it off!", rejecting him quite harshly still (perhaps to, once again, build him as a non-threat on Sasuke's eyes, who is present).

[The SasuSaku dynamic present in the Chünin Exams, which is an important aspect of Sakura's character, has been analyzed in their own post, here]

We start the Chünin Exams Arc by seeing how Sakura reacts to Konohamaru calling her "Naruto's girlfriend", while Naruto doesn't dispute it (here). She reacts violently as she might feel disrespected as Naruto is talking about the nature of their relationship while she's present, but she is also likely reacting in such an out-of-proportion manner as she's venting her frustration and disappointment with herself (as she failed to impress Sasuke in any manner, earning a rejection in the process).

[On another note, Konohamaru and his friends' play of "being ninja" is an educational method on techniques and possible strategies that is surely driven and nurtured by the system for children of Konohamaru's age. Sakura reacts negatively because she considers her own profession unworthy of being seen as a "game", without realizing that it is a propagandistic method of the shinobi system.]

During the Chünin exams, Sakura appears to be worried about Naruto’s well-being, she seems to think that he’s shaking out of fear for what is to come, so she approaches him to comfort him (this would be not necessary later on, but it shows an interesting development in their relationship and how Sakura starts to care for his well-being).

This is an important moment in Sakura and Naruto’s dynamic since it shows Sakura acknowledging Naruto’s dream, she's willing to sacrifice her reputation (accepting the blame for the failure of all Team 7, and likely Sasuke's grudge) to prevent Naruto from staying forever as a gënin (Ibiki had threatened them with, should they fail to reply correctly the tenth question of the exam, they’ll stay as gënin forever).

Sakura is probably considering the previous nine questions as a model of what the tenth question will be, which is why I believe she thought Naruto wasn’t smart enough to answer.

In chapter 46, after Sakura is tricked by a henge and Sasuke saves both of them from an attack, we get this moment, in which Sakura is tricked again by a henge and has to be saved once more by Sasuke. The relevance of this particular moment, for this post at least, is the fact that Sakura's knowledge of Naruto seems to be superficial enough not to realize Naruto would never remember the Ninki. It's not surprising nor contradicts Sakura's previous knowledge of Naruto's dream, as the MC's main goal is something he's extremely vocal about, unlike this particular behavior.

We jump to Chapter 48, where both Sasuke and Sakura are struggling against Orochimaru and Naruto arrives to find Sasuke forfeating. After some words get said (in which Naruto calls Sasuke a coward and gets knocked out by Orochimaru). 

Sakura saves Naruto (CH 49) when Orochimaru tosses him, showing an improvement on her reflexs and commitement to the Team (previously displayed in the first stage of the exams):

And later on uses Naruto’s words to encourage Sasuke to move:

She’s not exactly nice -but she still gives Naruto a credit that she wouldn’t have given him before, particularly if it meant critiquing Sasuke in the process.

She calls Naruto for help when Sasuke starts agonizing due to the Cursed Mark Orochimaru implanted on him and, after seeing him unconscious, starts to cry at seeing herself alone. It’s here that she understands some more what being a ninja actually entails.

I've got to protect them both

It's particular to the relationship between Sakura and Naruto how similar they are in terms of personalities, but also with regard to their lack of contemplation about the possible consequences of their actions. Sakura knows that they are forbidden to look inside the scrolls, however, as Naruto himself, who is aware of the threat, they are stopped from looking inside the scroll by Kabuto (who helped them in order to ensure Sasuke reaches the preliminary rounds). In this sense, Sasuke acts as both their opposites.

Multiple times Naruto's vast amount of chakra is mentioned, by various characters, and in no moment of these is Sakura the one noticing Kurama's energy (x), she seems to be not sensitive enough to notice even the tremendous amount of Naruto's stamina.

During her match with Ino (and I made an entire post regarding this relationship), Naruto encourages Sakura to fight back against the Shintenshin, telling her she's come too far to lose against that "crazy Sasuke chaser" (x). Sakura even thanks him for helping her during the match.

(I've mentioned how Ino actually won this match because hadn't Naruto interfered, Sakura would've succumbed, furthermore, Ino quite literally resigned fully to the match when inside Sakura, yet Hayate, for some reason, doesn't respect such a declaration),

It’s after (during the preliminary rounds), that she encourages Naruto not to lose against those from Sand.

It’s to be noted that her fight with Ino had already finished by then and that Sasuke was nowhere to be seen -furthermore, Gaara and Temari had insulted both Lee and Tenten, and we already know that Sakura cares for Lee. Their relationship has developed into, perhaps not a friendship, but a good camaraderie dynamic.

Sakura believes in Naruto.

Weirdly enough, Sakura was able to notice Hinata always watching Naruto (x). It's unclear if Sakura noticed this after they became a team and during the Chünin Exams or prior to that, yet she's perceptive enough to notice something Naruto himself ignores.

During the Third Stage of the Exams, Sakura's concern for Sasuke is understandable, as Sasuke ran from the hospital to an unknown location (he's training, but she doesn't know that as she wasn't informed), is Ino who cheers her up and tells her to cheer for Naruto, who's about to fight Neji (x).

She even admits to being somewhat jealous of Naruto (here) and wanting to train harder in order to catch him.

Sakura puts herself in between Sasuke, who has a hard time suppressing the Cursed Mark as he wasted almost all of his chakra, and Gaara (x), when Sasuke asks Naruto to protect her and run away (as he wants to protect both his friends), Naruto finally understands Haku's words about fighting to protect something dear to them (x, x, x).

After the fight, Sakura thanks Sasuke for saving her, who in turn tells her that it was Naruto the one who actually did it (x) to which she softly smiles.

After this, there's an entire Arc dedicated to Sasuke encountering Itachi and Naruto seeking Tsunade to both help Sasuke and to make her the new Hokage, so we need to jump to Chapter 172 to have something revolving around Naruto and Sakura.

I've said this before and I'll say this again, this first interaction between Sakura and Tsunade is the reason why Sakura chose to become a medic (x, x), Sakura considers Tsunade to be beautiful, and she was the only one who helped Sasuke when no one else could, we already saw Sakura being at Sasuke's side while he was in a coma, so it makes sense she'll choose a profession where she can help as she's aware she's incapable of fighting people like Gaara, for instance (who Sasuke was barely able to survive and who Naruto won against).

Naruto decides to leave the room once Sasuke awakes (x and x) as he considers that Sakura, who was next to Sasuke the whole time, deserves to have some privacy with him; he enters the room ready to talk to him ("Sasuke, you...") but once he sees Sakura's reaction to Sasuke waking, he leaves, allowing her to cry and hug Sasuke without his presence. She has been very clear about her feelings for Sasuke, so Naruto is starting to respect her emotions and decides not to interfere during their reunion.

After Sasuke and Naruto's fight, which Sakura tries to stop and is saved by Kakashi, who deflects both her teammates' attacks, Naruto approaches her and warns her not to get in his way.

This is incredibly significant because is the first time Naruto has shown such emotion or has spoken to Sakura in such a manner (he's usually submissive to her and her outbursts, and every time she badmouths him he usually endures), Sakura is shocked by this, as we see, and decides to tell Naruto about Sasuke's cursed mark; thinking this is the reason Sasuke's behaviour became so violent. Naruto reassures her that Sasuke will not be tempted by him, and they resume their usual dynamic.

After Sasuke leaves, Sakura approaches Shikamaru's team, and this happens:

People who hate Sakura for “crying and asking Naruto to bring back Sasuke instead of doing it herself” are not as valid as they think they are. She is aware that he rejected her romantically as he also refused her help just as much as she knows she isn’t even close power-wise to him in order to fight him to bring him back; something naruto was closer to being as Sasuke specifically told her naruto was able to save her from Gaara when he himself couldn’t, so she has that prior knowledge. Asking for help doesn’t mean she gave up on bringing Sasuke back but rather refusing to quit the idea of him returning to Konoha, as she was aware she could do nothing on her own.

Furthermore, this is the moment Naruto shatters all her previous pre-conceptions as Sakura finally understands that Naruto does seek her happiness: he left the hospital room when Sasuke woke up and gladly looked for Sasuke in order to bring him back to her. This, of course, isn't the whole reason why he does it, as Naruto and Sasuke's relationship is far more profound than what Sakura thinks it is (and will continue to think until Shippuden), but it's of utmost importance to Sakura and Naruto's relationship.

However, Sasuke leaves; yet Sakura refuses to accept Naruto's apology (x, x) and pretends she's okay for his sake, which is incredibly sweet.

Sakura is constantly shown to be mean-spirited, particularly towards Ino whom she's constantly trying to downgrade since she sees her as her rival (it's likely that since she tied her self-esteem to Ino's perception of her when she was a child she now inevitably compares herself to her in order to measure her self-worth, which is why she tries to diminish Ino's relevance, beauty or capacities, as in doing so, she elevates hers). Yet with Naruto, and with something as important as Sasuke's departure and during Naruto's recovery, she tries to help him and cheer him up, trying to uplift the burden of the promise he gave her.

Naruto's first half ends with Naruto promising her, again, that he'll bring back Sasuke (x, x) and Sakura assuring him she'll be right next to him (x), which is why she later seeks Tsunade's mentorship (here).

I really do enjoy their dynamic, actually; to go from a place of hostility towards a place of mutual care for each other is something quite nice and very well done by Kishimoto. Naruto starts to respect Sakura's feelings and tries to protect her happiness rather than seeking her romantical reciprocation, and Sakura starts to care deeply for Naruto, seeing him as someone inspiring as he earns her respect.

We'll see how their dynamic shifts (or continues to grow), during Shippuden.

[bitter-panacea]

Goultard's introduction in the Dofus manga, his confrontation with Clustus Part 2

Part 1

Let's get right back to the fight. Clustus tells Goultard he talks too much and attacks first.

Clustus : You shouldn't have been called Goultard the barbarian but Goultard the chatty!

I still think the D at the end of Goultard's name was supposed to be silent. First of all because in french the D is usually silent in words that end in -ard-, just like here in "bavard", but also because they make a lot of rhymes with his name and none of them work if you pronounce the D. Goultard le barbare, le bavard, le bâtard etc

ANYWAY! Back to the fight. Goultard is hoping this fight won't be yet another disappointment...

Goultard : King Clustus, I hope you have more to offer me than a pityful crow spell.

Turns out Clustus isn't king of Bonta for no reason and is actually quite skilled in combat. And Goultard seems pleased to see it. Maybe this won't be as easy and boring as he expected.

Goultard : Well, well, well... This old man can do some damage.

"Bonhomme" is a very interesting word to me. It can mean "man" or more accurately "fellow". For example "bonhomme de neige" is a snowman, "un bonhomme" is also what you'd call a child's drawing of a person, there is something childish about it.... It's informal and can be affectionate or condescending, maybe even both at the same time. Goultard calls Joris "petit bonhomme" (little fellow), but he's not the only one who uses that word to describe him. (If I'm not mistaken, Gou affectionately calls Arty bonhomme... I might be wrong but I'm too lazy to check right now)

BACK TO THE FIGHT

Clustus invokes the royal crackler (whose name happens to be Kabor). Goultard gets crushed by Kabor and buried under the rubble but frees himself and destroys him with ease.

Rip Kabor

And Goultard starts talking again (he wants to be mysterious so bad but he simply cannot stfu)

Goultard : You said earlier that you knew me... But I'm not so sure, you must be wrong. Because, you see... If you really knew me, you would hold more of a grudge!

Clustus basically tells him to "be more clear or shut the fuck up".

Clustus : A grudge? What do you mean by that? Be more clear, if you will, I'm too old for guessing games. / Goultard : I'm much older than you, Clustus, and I still love riddles... But let's not get distracted, what I meant to say... Oh!

Goultard loves riddles apparently, (I find that hard to believe but why not.) Goultard says "let's not get distracted" and immediately gets distracted by a cool sword he saw. Clustus attacks while Goultard has his back turned (to pick up the cool sword he saw.) Goultard parries the blow and slashes Clustus across the chest (with the cool sword he just picked up.)

Goultard: As I was saying...You can't know me, we've never met before. However, I know you, and I've known, your father well. The king Balbosus Sheran Sharm! / Clustus : What... Impossible!

Goultard : a king well-deserves a few explanations before dying! You see, Clustus, I've spent wonderful moments with your father. He even almost "freed" me. Shortly before I took his life!

Clustus' reaction to that information

Clustus : It's impossible. My father died sixty years ago! I don't know what you're playing at but your story makes no sense! He lost his life facing a monster named Dark Vlad.

Goultard shapeshifts into Vlad just a moment to make Clustus understand they're part of the same entity.

Clustus : You killed my father... He was a good man... Generous and certainly the best king Bonta ever had! / Goultard : Maybe...

Goultard : But once again... That changes nothing! You all are nothing but humans. Whether rich or poor, kings or peasants... Only your combativeness and eagerness interests me!

(I will explore this whole thing with Goultard's contempt for humans, how he doesn't see himself as a human yet wishes he could feel like one, his self-loathing, in a future post focusing on Gou and the symbiote)

Goultard : And to get back to your father, know that he didn't hesitate to sacrifice his men to get me! And when time came for him to be reunited with his ancestors, he begged me to spare him...

Goultard : If you're saying the truth and he really was the greatest king this city's ever known... I don't dare imagine what the others must be like!

We don't know anything more about Goultard and Balbosus' realtionship but I go absolutely fucking bonkers imagining what it could have been like. Wonderful moments, knew each other well, almost freed him, but in the end sacrificed his men trying to capture him... I could talk more about it but It's all stuff I completely made the fuck up in my head. In my head Balbosus wished to free Goultard in a messed up dehumanizing savior complex way "I must free this creature and if I can't, i'll be the one to kill it". They fought many times but Goultard would always let Balbosus live because he was amused and intrigued by his weird obsession for him. A sick game of cat and mouse. Goultard enjoying the thrill of being chased... Until the symbiote grew more possessive of his prey, or Goultard got bored of Balbosus, or he felt betrayed when Balbosus sent his men after him... The fact Dark Vlad is the one who killed Balbosus in the end could also imply Goultard lost control at some point before he finally decided to kill him... Much to think about.

Goultard then starts to shift between his different shapes, revealing only now that, all along, Vald (who we thought was dead), was a part of Goultard, or that Goultard and Vald are both part of a whole. He talks briefly about Vlad and Vald having 50% and 5% of his potential strength, respectively. Clustus calls him insane.

Goultard : No, in hindsight... You could have only beaten me in my Vald form.

Clustus : Well, boy... Seems like you have a couple bats in the belfry! Quickly, put me out of my misery, I've had enough of your ravings... (why is he so funny)

Goultard : My... ravings? My ravings, as you say, make my immortality easier to put up with. / Clustus : If you say so!

Goultard HATES being immortal. Being immortal is a curse, unbearable without adapting by developping a dissociative disorder.

Goultard gets bored of talking to Clustus and decides to leave to find something better to do. Clustus realizes Goultard isn't going to kill him after all.

Goultard : Time has already taken its toll on you, Clustus. You're but a shadow of your former self. So don't count on me to give you the warrior's death that you dream of so badly! It's much more cruel to imagine you passing away on your throne like the senile old man you are.

Clustus shouts at Goultard to come back and finish him off. But Goultard is gone.

Volume 6 continues with Goultard's backstory and ends when Goultard finds Arty and offers him to fight. I'll probably make a post comparing Goultard's manga backstory and the animated one.

[autisticempathydaemon]

Alas, I have sent in a very long anon so I apologize ahead of time. But I hope these help with the pairing lol *** What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why? Sabrina Carpenter- Espresso. Such a good summer song.

What is your Enneagram type? I think type 6? I don't really understand them that much

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why? Not really? I used to be really into them but I haven't been watching much youtube lately. Attention span go brrr. Someone would have to sit with me for me to be able to concentrate.

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend. Didn't have one as far as I remember. But I attempted cause I thought it was the normal thing to do.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep? Shutting my eyes and maladaptive daydreaming to sleep.

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?) I quite like my real name. I feel it suits me surprisingly well so I wouldn't change my name. Maybe add a middle name though.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why? Oh boy, hm. I think my favorite would have to be Hush at the moment, but I also really enjoy Elliott's videos.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.) I think they all have their merits honestly. If he were still present, I would say Marcus cause he always weirded me out a bit, but if I had to pick a current one? I'd say caller dude. I don't understand but I respect game lol

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to. The Untamed. I watched it so many times it's ridiculous. I also read Manhwas/Manga a lot so there are many of those I know like the back of my hand.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend? Hmmmm. I think I would love to be friends with David and Asher. They seem like a riot together. I only don't add Milo here because he makes me blush so I'd fold for him too easily.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

PFFFT. I do. Music and stories I want to write but can't find the right medium to get it done. Real-life people know I never speak about my creative stuff but don't know about my online life as far as I know, so it's comical to them to hear how many stories are up in my brain at once.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

Pass, I don't drive and rarely go to gas stations. But I'd say if I had to, the places I go often have great slushies/slurpees

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. 

Random on my phone or spotify because I can't be bothered to find actual playlists 😅

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

Romance novels/manhwa/mangas. God I love seeing people love each other, especially if it starts off bumpy. But if it ever happened in real life I'd be so confused and not know what to do lol. Also, I would probably turn as red as an apple if someone found out about it without me telling them.

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are!

I indulge in a lot of creative stuff, but I am also slightly sickly so my patience with myself is less than I would give other people in the same position as me. I'm attempting to remedy that but it's difficult to give grace to yourself sometimes (ˉ▽ˉ；)...

The way you describe yourself as easily flustered and blush-y makes me want to pair you with someone who’ll push those buttons, I’ve got to admit- Vincent, specifically.

I like his flirty, Edward Cullen-esque facade and the dorkier, tenderer interior for you, you know what I mean? Like, he’d flirt and poke fun and smolder as he does, but I think he’d have a good sense of when to stop, when you’ve had too much. I also like him for you as Type Six, the enneagram that desires security, reliability, someone steadfast. Vincent, that blessed simp of a man, is an emotionally dependable, loyal lover on top of being a sap and romantic which works well since you also strike me as a romantic.

Your life together is very fun- as fun as constant, light teasing from Vincent can be. He loves a lot of the same things you do, like manga and danmei. (My Vincent is Chinese, as is William, so he’s especially attached to danmei and historical dramas.) He loves peeking over your shoulders, reading the dialogue in a smooth, smoldering voice and then kissing your cheeks when he makes them glow. He’s a little stinker that way, but Vincent definitely knows to be more genuine and sincere when you share your creative work with him. He’s incredibly supportive, buying you whatever tools and/or instruments you might need until you find the medium you like best.

Song:

The hungry heart, the roving eye/ Have come to rest, do not apply/ The frantic chase, the crazy ride/ The thrill has gone, I step aside/ And I'd believe in anything were it not for you/ Showing me by just existing only this is true/ I love you, I love you without question, I love you

As an 80’s kid, Elton John (and the Road to El Dorado soundtrack as well) feel like a good pick for him, you know? Very classic, timely, nostalgic. I like it for y’all specifically because of the vibes, because it reminds me of this lover that lived this crazy existence, lived hard and fast without knowing what it was all for, until they met the person who it was all for, until Vincent met you.

Runner-ups:

In that same vein of thought, Gavin is a strong, cute contender though I don’t think he would have quite as much of a grasp on your comfort levels and moods like Vincent would. In the opposite vein, the other arm if you will, I like Morgan for you. He’d be a good match for a Type Six, and his vibes just suit you; it’s hard to explain why.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[haleigh-sloth]

I know I asked this a while ago and I’m sorry to bring it up again but I’m still having trouble understanding AFO’s backstory literarily. I don’t know why Hori would give us a backstory that shows he is just as traumatized as the League if not more and then not do anything with it. Plus the way the fans interpreted it was that AFO was just born evil. I’m not sure why Hori felt the need to write this if he wasn’t going to treat AFO like a human being the same as the rest of the characters, and make it so he had zero knowledge of right and wrong same as Tenko, if he didn’t want there to be some sort of humanity there. Any guesses? I’m genuinely at a loss here.

This is a tough one, and it's understandable to feel conflicted over it.

I think the most important thing to remember is that the manga isn't over yet, AFO isn't really gone yet, and the vestiges aren't super mega confirmed gone for good yet, AND assuming they're not gone yet, they're all in the same place as AFO at this very moment.

I think Yoichi's words describe the complexity behind AFO perfectly:

He kept Yoichi alive, however, he viewed Yoichi as his property, something he was entitled to. There is definitely nuanced feeling behind that, I mean they're brothers and the ONLY constant they had their whole lives was each other. That goes for AFO too, Yoichi was the only certain thing he had. So yeah, there is some form of twisted love there, but AFO's upbringing led to that somewhat understandable/normal feeling turning into something way beyond what we would consider acceptable lmao. And I think the thing with AFO that separates him from the other villains is the lack of compassion for others that Yoichi points out. Even though I wouldn’t call the LOV’s actions compassionate toward….anyone, even if the intent is buried deep in there, they still feel for other people and are incredibly sensitive to others. It influenced their behaviors. AFO is not phased by others.

My personal guess is that AFO will disappear by the end of the manga in the vestige, but in a more refined/dignified way than the way he did in the real world. His pathetic and dramatic death after facing Bakugo kinda made it obvious he will have another exit that will look much differently. There is no point in repeating what we already saw, so I wouldn't expect it to be anything like him having a break down. Also Bakugo won't be involved since he's not in the vestige realm, so it'll be different.

I'm thinking like....closer to Nana/Kotaro except not really any love/forgiveness/sorrow involved, more just like....idk how to describe it, but some sort of peace where he and Yoichi say good bye for good together.

I can't help but think that Bakugo kind of carried out what the 2nd user couldn't (hence the visual similarity and him reminding AFO of Kudou) and then Yoichi will carry out what he needs to by finishing him off for good and disappearing with him.

This also all hinges on my assumption that OFA is going bye-bye, which I'm in hope of so I'm biased lol.

I don't think AFO is there to thwart the themes of the story. I think he's a humanized villain whose actions and influence have far surpassed his lifespan and it's just time for him to get some form of clarity and then go.

[bish-plz-haha]

Noragami will be the death of me

December 20:

I'm catching up on the Noragami manga and I am dying. My god: I'm on chapter 95 and I'm literally crying. Like, I can't believe Yukine would do that?!? Like, Yukine is absolutely my favourite character in the show - maybe ever honestly - and like, I just can't believe it. I'm utterly speechless. I cant think of words to describe how I'm feeling.

Betrayal

Dejected

Sadness

Anger

Contempt

Confused

Mortified

These are just a few. I just cant believe he would go and do such a thing.

Also, that whole scene where Nora takes Hiyori to Yukine's grave just had me SOBBING. I saw it when it first came out but shit, seeing it again after so long; damn feelings. Shit.

(I will edit this post when I finish the manga - well, to where it is at now. Final chapter is coming next month and I'm stoked for it! Even with how much feelings I feel.)

December 21 (12:00 am):

OH MY GOD YUKINE'S MORTAL NAME (HARUKI) MEANS "Spring Tree" AND HIS SHINKI NAME MEANS "Snow"...

HIS NAMES ARE ON BOTH SIDES! "Snow" being in the season of "death" and "Spring" being the season of "life." His names fit which shore he's living in.

Adachitoka are genius. My goodness.

December 21 (4:24 pm):

OH MY GOD WHAT?!?!?

Okay, I absolutely love seeing Yukine in that beast form. He is badass and I love that.

Hiyori died?!?! But because of the world being false, she didn't ACTUALLY die. I love how Yukine bursting through the cherry blossom petals and Hiyori's shinki vessel came from them as well. That is a very cool parallel.

But my god! That panel showing Yukine laying in that refrigerator surrounded by the petals just absolutely broke my heart. Like, I know he died there, but I didn't actually need to see him laying in it. Why, Adachitoka?!?! Why??? Why do you gotta break my heart as so?

I also wanna say that I loved Yukine curling around young Yato in his beast form: that made my heart very happy. It was so cute!!!! I just wanna take it and print it out and colour it and hang it up. That was one of the most precious things I've ever seen!

Okay; now all I gotta do is wait until next month to get the... last chapter 😭😭😭😭

IM NOT CRYING, YOU ARE!

[chaoslynx]

Eiji fell first, Ash fell harder and we do not talk about that enough

omg I actually love this topic but I think my opinion on it is a little less common than the usual ?

I think they both fell in two stages! Both very very early on though. I also do agree that Ash fell harder sooner!

The first evidence we see of their feelings for each other is, in my opinion, actually on Ash's side!

Yeah I've talked about this before and I'll probably talk about it again, but this is the first time in the series we see someone ask for Ash's consent! You can see Ash's smile where he thinks, "Well, if someone bothered to ask ..." Because no one had ever just asked before. I think Ash is already starting to develop feelings here, though he wouldn't describe them as romantic yet.

Eiji first starts to fall right after, when he's drinking with Skipper. (In the anime, this is the scene where Eiji gets drunk off of a single rum and coke and starts making heart eyes at Ash.) This is also related to Eiji holding Ash's gun -- here, Eiji realizes something that he didn't realize when he first asked to hold the gun. He realizes that Ash letting him hold it was an act of trust. Of course, Eiji doesn't have the context yet for exactly why it might be rare for Ash to trust someone, or just how much Ash trusted Eiji by handing over his weapon to a perfect stranger, leaving himself unarmed in a crowded room. But he's starting to realize that Ash chose him, in some way. In the manga, Eiji even asks Skip if he admires Ash and wants to be like him, though he quickly gets embarrassed and goes back on the words.

Eiji actually also takes the next step into love. Here, Skip is telling Arthur that Ash and Eiji don't even know each other (which is true) in hopes that Arthur will let Eiji go. Instead, Arthur decides to have Eiji killed if he can't be used as a bargaining chip against Ash. The second Arthur commands his men to kill Eiji, Ash surrenders his gun to Arthur -- leaving himself unarmed for Eiji's sake for a second time, this time surrounded by enemies. Eiji knows that Ash doesn't have to do this. Skipper's telling the truth: Ash and Eiji don't know each other. Look at Eiji's expression in the last panel here. He might not understand yet exactly what Ash is giving up, but he knows that it can't be good, and he knows that Ash did it for someone he just met. Eiji also knows how important that gun is to Ash now, which he didn't before. So now we have Eiji wondering: "Who's this boy who would sacrifice everything for me -- for someone who means nothing to him?"

And I'm sure I don't need to talk about the most obvious moment Ash starts to fall. Eiji's "if I'm going to die, at least I'll die trying" moment, and Ash feeling his little bisexual heart skip a beat. Eiji could have saved himself here, could have just run for it and never returned. (He had good reason to!) But instead, he promises to get help for Ash and Skip, and follows through on it. Ash says it best himself later on: This is the first time someone helped him without expecting anything in return.

[pan-magi]

*posts random rukh thoughts over a month late b/c I forgot about it*

Are the rukh an actual light source? The things my mind gets stuck on repeatedly while working on shit.

The answer would appear to be yes. This is shown when there is enough gathered at one place, usually in a relation with one of the magi using enough magic and producing magoi at a rate to be visible to everyone who can't usually see them. With the exception of Judar, but I'll get to black rukh in a minute. This is usually conveyed through light even if the surroundings are dim. The first time Aladdin is seen really going off is one such occurrence.

I keep thinking to myself. How does rukh produce light when magi using magic isn't involved? Do magicians constantly see hundreds, thousands, of light sources no one else can see? Or is the light so minimal it doesn't make a difference? I like to know what light sources I'm dealing with.

The closest we get for this is with Baba. She sees the world directly through rukh; it is her source of sight. Though tbf, the anime doesn't really touch on her being blind outside of her interaction with rukh. The manga is only a little clearer. Point being, light source or not, it is a way to see and experience the world.

Does that mean that it acts as a sort of passive night vision outside of Baba? Who knows. The one time I can think of an example is that while exploring the fifth district there isn't much light shown outside of some lanterns and dim lights, but Aladdin, Titus and Sphintus don't seem to have much trouble. Meanwhile, Marga and the rest of the citizens there are used to the level of light and don't work really as a control group. So I dunno.

The other conclusion is that it's not the rukh that produce the light. It comes from the magoi that they produce. When Judar explains the magic system to Aladdin (imo, a condescending smartass doing an exposition dump is a surprisingly effective way to deliver information to the audience in a quick manner), he produces magoi to deliver his point. It acts as a bright beacon that everyone reacts to and sees, especially when Judar starts attacking people with it.

I don't really have concluding thoughts on this. It's more of a ramble dump. Good place as any to switch to talk about black rukh.

I kinda dislike in the anime that black rukh is also shown to produce light. A dim purple light typically, but a light nonetheless. One of the reasons I think of to why is so that each is distinguishable in a way. That a mass of black rukh isn't shown to be a massive black blob and nothing else.

(left about normal, right darkened slightly to show point of black blob)

It isn't how I ever imagined them to be though.

I'll end this on a headcanon of mine. I always thought it made more sense for the black rukh to absorb light or at the very least cast a massive shadow. The first impression Aladdin gets from seeing Judar is describing him like a black sun. What would be the cause for someone to come to that conclusion? Mine was that the overwhelming amount of black rukh from Judar would be a blot of darkness until Aladdin can focus on him properly. If it is only dozens of black birds surrounding the guy the description will be less extreme.

An eclipse (what I can attribute to being like a black sun, outside of blackhole) doesn't just cast ordinary shadows. It is putting out the main light source of the planet. It isn't a cloudy day, a storm, or night time during a new moon: the closest other comparison. The darkness of an eclipse hits different. Plus, when Aladdin gets memories about the fall of Alma Tran the sun there looks like it is permanently eclipsed. That's the quickest shorthand to show that it is nothing but darkness all the time.

Anyway, that is how I see Judar and the black rukh in general. They are opposites and out of spite literally and metaphorically counteracts the light from the white rukh.

Yup, no closing thoughts. Thanks for reading this word vomit if you did!

[unlikely-cherry-blossom]

The post you made about the ketil supporters? I'm shooketh. I don't follow fandoms much but this was like... just what the hell. What kind of shit is this?

Good question: I'm just as shocked as you.

I mean, I maybe understand not liking a character even without a reason. Your choice, and everything.

What strikes me though, is the blatant mysoginy end even slave advocating. The notion that a person has to settle down with a derogatory title for their whole life just because treated "better" than others, because their owner is "nicer" than others.

Manga

Anime.

Does this look like a happy woman? Does this look like a satisfied and fulfilled person?

Ketil was nice? Yes. But that was that. It was rather clear that he was possessive of her and wouldn't have given her the possibility of freedom, it was even explicitly stated at one point. Unlike Thorfinn and Einar, she couldn't have her freedom back. He must have loved her veeeeeery much, for sure. Unlike Einar, that cared about her happiness and was happy if she was happy.

Because Ketil is Nice™

Poor rich Ketil, poor manly man Ketil who doesn't have a damn a damn bone and prefers to beat children instead of appearing "weak" on a bunch of people WHO HE PAYS TO WORK AND DEPEND COMPLETELY ON HIM ECONOMICALLY SPEAKING. And can't even protect the woman he supposedly loves from his wife and cannot even stand up for himself. What he could do? Have sex of HOW terrible his life is, on his SLAVE's lap.

"But she was happy to have his child-"

Do I have to remember WHAT happened to her child with her husband? Do I?

Is disgusting too how they had to bring up her status as a sex slave, as if she applied for it.

"But Askeladd/Thorfinn did worse, she killed four people with her stupidity-"

What a balancing indeed. Four pieces of shit on earth died (sorry, not sorry Snake I don't care about your feelings here) who years prior wanted to kill Einar and Thorfinn. Because they were slaves.

Poor Snake :(

Poor man, he must have suffered for his piece of shit bros, they sure have been pure angels that now are part of God's angels for how good they were

Just say you hate her for being a woman who dared to have sex with more men (only two I guess) instead of faux reasons.

Believe me, I hate using the word "mysoginy" on fandom discourse because of sjws around, but how can I describe this even? And defending SLAVERY too, just the cherry on the top. And they literally justify EVERY MAN, NAMED AND UNNAMED that casually is A MAN.

Sorry for this grammatical horror if a rant, kinda got boiled here. And now, Rize out.

[bunny-hoodlum]

For the ask game! 3. Are there any specific themes you enjoy exploring in your fics? 10. What's your favorite part about the fic writing process? 29. Are there any characters, relationships, or general character dynamics you've never written about but would like to try?

Heyyy! Thank you for the ask @wickermayne! I pushed this answer back because I felt like I needed more time to think about my answers. 😅 Which, I didn't exactly do either tbh. 👉👈😓 I lowkey hated I didn't have anything controversial that I could 'get arrested for' if I wrote it or that my readers would hate, that actually bothered me so much, like how boring am I? 😂😂😂

[Yet Another] 'Questions for Fic Writers'

Are there any specific themes you enjoy exploring in your fics?

Yes, I love these kind of vibes in Seinen manga and character drama movies, and maybe some of my own existential feels is worked in there, too. Self-sabotage, alienation, regret, and loss of time/chances, oh and things you want but can't have, I suppose. On the fun side of things, I like to explore taboo as a whole. I can't quite describe the cocktail of inner conflict that I makes a fic sing for me when I write it, but Asynchronous With You has it and I think most of my fics do too, but AWY is the easiest to explain. Hinata wants to be with Naruto romantically or for the rest of her life but she can't have both, unless something changes. Naruto wants to be with Hinata for the rest of his life but not romantically (as far as he knows). Both want the same thing but for different reasons and if they're honest with each other, they might lose each other forever. It's stuff like that I loooooove. I feel like my DILF fic has it to some extent as well, like, even if Naruto sleeps with jailbait!Hinata, he can separate the sex from his stronger desire to be a parent, so intent and actions are going to be at odds at all times until something changes, and Hinata is going to be attaching herself to this rollercoaster whether she regrets it or not, because it's either pain or nothing at all. And, at least the pain can bring her some excitement in her life. I guess whenever I get to my Idle Hands rewrite, this theme is gonna play out similarly with Hinata too, that the pain Naruto and Sasuke put her through at least is interesting. 😅

What's you favorite part of the fic writing process?

The writing itself, but the annoying thing is I need be totally relaxed, not sleepy in the slightest, words actually make sense in my head and I'm totally immersed in the work. Then it's like I'm experiencing it live as it's happening. I wish headspace was more accessible, like sometimes editing can take me there because the thing exists and I'm refining it. But what I mean is, if I could just write bad to begin with or let myself and then clean it up, clean it up, clean it up once last time, that'd be great. I could be more methodical instead of waiting to get possessed by brain chemicals or some touch of inspo from another dimension. 😅

Are there any characters, relationships, or general character dynamics you've never written about but would like to try?

Very, very casually, I think, yes? I told you about IruHina, but it's gonna be one of those things that I need to have totally solid interest in so that way I don't care if it's such a rarepair that nobody is interested in it, that I still write it anyways. 😂 Right now, I'm trying to write NaruKurostuchi but for the DILF fic, not sure if that counts, but I am trying to flesh it out, so I'm trying to explore it in good faith for the sake of the story. I might need to build up his backstory at some point here, figure out who his other exes are. 🤭 As for general character dynamics... Enemies to Lovers is probably the one thing I've never touched, be it in fiction, fanfiction or in my own daydreams. 🤔 Which might seem ironic, considering the amount of hate sex-adjacent fics I've pumped out recently. 😂 But I would like to try, of course I need a story for this that catches my interest. 😅 Other character dynamics, think those would be the other age gap WIPs I haven't gotten around to yet. Can't think of anything else. 🤔

[lepetitloir]

Gathering my thoughts on Ada Vessalius, because I keep being conflicted about her. (opinions under cut, warning: SPOILERS)

Very noticeable about Ada is that she's mostly there to help the arcs of other characters (Noise, Vincent). Beside that, she's portrayed as an innocent woman, sort of oblivious about what's going on around her. Characters purposefully leave her out of it in order to protect her, ever since she was 8. So, of course it's not her fault that she's oblivious.

The story points out many times that Ada is very much a woman. She's pretty, she easily cries, she's soft, and Vincent the Misogynist hates her (the chapter Persona makes us very aware that Ada is a woman).

In Pandora Hearts it's portrayed as a feminine trait to be innocent and oblivious, but it is also portrayed as feminine to overcome these traits (I'm thinking of Sharon and the Rainsworth ladies here). In fact, I think it's meant to be a sign of female strength to overcome these traits. Ada is dragged into the story more towards the end, and in the face of the darker themes that people kept her out of, she stands tall and accepts that she's different, but that it doesn't mean she can't be with the other characters. I think admitting that (accepting you are different and that's okay) makes her very strong. Not only that, but also that she still tries to understand those who are different than her.

It's beautiful and strong that she is the one to understand Vincent and his trauma, understand that he struggles with himself, and that she wants to face him and tell him it's okay and she forgives him. It's strong that she is the one to directly address the issue, where other fail to do so.

Except, it would be nice if that was the case, but it's not really like that, is it?

She's able to directly address the issue because she hasn't really seen the other side. Sure, Noise tells her that Vincent manipulated her, and Ada describes there being a sadness around Vincent, but she doesn't know what he did during the series?

When it's revealed that she and Vincent are dating, I got the reaction "Oh no Ada doesn't know what Vincent has been up to in the story". Later events were able to convince me that Ada stood strong and that she sort of knew what she was doing (trying to get to know Vincent, which means she knows she doesn't really know him). Yet, after reading the manga, I come to the realisation "Oh no Ada still doesn't know what Vincent had been up to in the story". The initial issue of her not knowing of Vincent's actions is still there. So when she says she forgives him, it feels wrong.

I was thinking of the way white-haired Alice and Vincent """forgive""" Jack, but in those cases, Jack gave them some self-worth and to them, that outweighed Jack's manipulations. (Side note: I use the word "forgive" just for the comparison, they don't actually forgive him, but they appreciate the good he's done to them) The point is, they are aware of Jack's bad actions, but still decide his good actions were worth something. They have the full picture.

Ada doesn't, so how much value do her words actually hold? Despite that, I know it's important for her to say those words, and I find it really sad that Vincent is touched by them, no matter how much weight they actually hold (and he most likely is aware of the lack of weight). He's just that desperate to be forgiven. Good for him.

But it takes the strength out of the moment if I look at Ada. It would have been such a Moment if she'd forgiven Vincent knowing the full picture. Oh well.

Err anyway, Ada's oblivion is also portrayed as strong on its own. I like that, the idea that you could be doing something good even if you're not aware of it. "Just be kind" is the message, and yeah no one can dissagree with that.

I don't hate VinceAda! Let me be clear, I remember absolutely loving them as a couple after I finished the manga for the first time in 2016. But ehmm... the reason I like them is because I adore Jun Mochizuki's choice to not let them be together at the end. In the last official guide (the only one I own ;-;), in the interview with her and Chizuru Kobayashi, she mentions that Vincent has done too horrible things to stay with Ada, and Jun Mochizuki couldn't image them ending up together. I respect that so much, because I agree! It's what makes this couple so perfect for me: the author not forcing them into something.

Lastly, here are some smaller thoughts I have about Ada:

I like that one of her attempts at getting to understand Vincent is trying to find similarities in them (so she tries to talk about the occult with him). It's nice that later, she can accept that they are most likely two completely other people.

I think a part of Noise's arc is overcoming internalized misogyny. That's why it's so important that Ada is very feminine. She is the sort of woman Noise would hate. An "other girl", not like her.

In the end, when Gilbert tells Ada Vincent is dead, Ada cries because Gil telling her that means that Vince is alive.

(aaaahh that was the end of my silly takes! English isn't my first language so sorry if my grammar is off!)