#i can't decide if it would be more or less

[pomegranatesarchive]

not so secret santa

pairing: max verstappen x redbull!reader

part of redbull!reader

summary: secret santa has never been your favorite holiday tradition; in fact, you’ve always found it more stressful than fun. but this year, it’s somehow even worse—because out of all the people you could have drawn, you ended up with your teammate, max. [3.4k]

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"Can't I skip it this year?" you grumbled, watching as the F1 social media admin walked up to you, a phone in one hand, and a Christmas hat in the other.

The woman frowned behind the camera, shaking the hat slightly, "You love Christmas." she pointed out.

You nodded, pocketing your phone in your back pocket, you were on your way to the garage before you were stopped by the last person you wanted to see.

You had no problem with the admin, on the contrary, you found her delightful, but she was making the round of secret santa, and that's why you were hoping to avoid her.

"Christmas and Secret Santa are not the same." you quipped, reaching your hand into the hat and swirling around the tiny slips of paper. You took a deep breath, grasping one before pulling it out, the camera following your every movement.

You leaned by, opening the slip away from prying eyes, "Shit." you cursed, quickly trying to put the paper back into the hat.

The admin laughed, leaning back, "No switching!"

You groaned, "C'mon please!"

She laughed, shaking your head, "Nope! Show the camera."

You grumbled, slowly turning the paper, Max Verstappen.

The woman laughed, delighted by the odds, "Okay. You remember the rules?"

"Don't tell anyone." you grumbled, pocketing the slip of paper, "I never know what to get!" you whined, as much as you loved Christmas the gift-giving part was something you despised, you always second-guessed yourself, and could never pick out what you deemed a 'good gift.’

"You have until two weeks from now." she beamed, before walking away, no doubt on her way to find her next victim.

.

Later that day you had a list of those who could help you on the hunt for the perfect gift. The first person on your list for help was, unfortunately, out of all people, Jos Verstappen.

Truly he was the last person you would ever want to talk to, but you thought that if anyone could be able to help you with picking out a gift, it would be Max's dad.

You would've gone to his mother, or even sister first. But they rarely visited the garage, much less when Jos was around, which you entirely understood.

"Get him something for racing," he spoke simply, you stood near him awkwardly, this was only your second one-on-one conversation in all the years you've been racing with his child, and moments like these reminded you why you avoided him, "Gloves."

You blinked, "You don't think I should get him something more personal? I mean I've known him for a while now."

"You've known him for a while and still don't know what to get him?" he sent you a look, and you resisted the urge to snap back, taking a deep breath.

"I'm bad a gifts."

"Then don't get him anything," the man shrugged like it was the most reasonable thing, "He hasn't been doing good enough to deserve a good Christmas." he scoffed.

"He's leading the championship." you laughed in amazement, truly not understanding how a father could say such things about his own child.

Jos' eyes snapped over to you, "Norris is catching up, he's not doing good enough."

"Not good enough?" you gaped, taking a step back, deciding to let it go and not start an argument in the middle of the garage, "Nevermind. Nevermind. Thank you for your…help.” you didn’t bother giving him a fake smile, turning on your heel quickly and walking out of the garage.

“Asshole,” you whispered to yourself, walking quickly with eyes on the ground.

“My dad?” you stopped abruptly, looking up to see Max in all his glory standing in front of you.

“Hm?” you blinked, staring up at him.

He pursed his lips, hands on his hips, “You were talking to my dad.”

You nodded slowly, debating whether to lie or not, “…I was.”

He hummed, left eye slightly twitching, “Okay. Why?”

Your mind went blank, thinking of any excuse you could use, “Um…”

Max eyes you, nodding along with you, “Um…”

"I just wanted to catch up."

In hindsight, you definitely should've come up with something more believable.

Max shot you a very telling look, letting you know that he didnt believe an ounce of what you were saying, "Catching up? With Jos?"

"Yes?" you squinted up at him, tone not as believable as you wanted it to be.

"You don't catch up with Jos. You don't like Jos."

You tried to look offended, "I can catch up with Jos."

Max let out a short laugh, eyes glancing behind you, no doubt to his father, "No. You don't like him." he repeated, "Most people don't like him."

You stared up at him with a blank look before letting out a deep breath, "You're right, I don't like him."

Max nodded once more, an amused look on his face, "So why were you talking to him?"

You balled your hands into a fist wanting nothing more but to tell him that you were on a search for the perfect gift, but you resisted, "I wanted to catch up with Jos but then he opened his mouth and reminded me why I stay away."

Max said nothing, simply staring down at you, a certain look in his eyes, you sighed, "I promise."

Finally, Max let up, giving you a smile, and patting your shoulder before walking towards his father.

With a grimace you quickly spun on your heel, catching Jos's eyes, you pressed a finger to your lips, hoping you would get the hint—it appeared like he didnt by the way he looked at you in a mixture of disgust and confusion.

You watched them anxiously for a moment, before scurrying away, choosing to not see the moment Max realized you had lied to him.

Back with the Verstappens, Max was eyeing his father oddly. He knew you had just lied to him, your anxious tone and the way you balled your hands into fists told him you were lying, he just didnt know about what.

"You two were catching up?" Max voiced his disbelief, the last thing he expected was for his father to continue you lie.

"Yes, Max." his father sighed, already annoyed by the talk you and him just had, and now he had his son asking him the same question over and over again.

"About what?" the exasperation in the racer's voice pulled a smile to Jos's face.

He turned to his son with his arms crossed, "Win this race, and I'll tell you."

Max blinked, truly that was the last thing he expected to come from his father...and it made him mad. Years of winning and winning, and the man couldn't tell him this one thing? When had he ever asked for anything from him?

Max scoffed, rolling his eyes before walking away, ignoring his father's calls behind him.

.

There was something so intimating about Oscar Piastri and his blank face. Maybe it was because of how calm cool and collected he was, while at the moment you were the exact opposite. Either way, you were cursing Secret Santa for putting you in this position.

It was the day after your pick when you ran into him in the hotel reception center, he was sitting on a couch, eyes and face blank.

You contemplated walking away multiple times, but you knew you needed all the imput you could get to get Max the perfect gift.

"Hey Oscar..." you sang awkwardly slowly sliding down to the spot next to him.

He blinked slowly, turning to you slowly, "Hey." he mumbled, before turning back and facing straight, no doubt creeping out some of the people walking by.

You argued with yourself mentally, trying to build up the courage to talk with the man next to you, "So uh.. who'd you get for Secret Santa?" you tried, cringing into yourself.

"I'm not supposed to tell you."

"I'm won’t tell anyone."

"You'll tell Max." you didnt bother trying to defend yourself, knowing he was right, you would've definitely blurted it out to Max.

"Yeah.." you mumbled slowly, prusing your lips.

"You got him right—Max?" he asked simply.

You snapped your head over to him before looking around the hotel reception room crazily, "Shh!" you whispered and shouted, "He could hear you."

Yesterday after Max's conversation with his father, you were sure he was going to come back and let you know that his father had spilled the beans, teasing you over not being able to keep 'secret' Santa a 'secret' for longer than 24 hours.

But he never did. Instead, he complained about Jos for almost a full hour, not once did he bring up the gift situation.

"Yes. Because I'm sure he can hear me from the track...from here."

You shrunk slightly in embarrassment, you were not aware he had left the hotel, "You never know." you scoffed, rolling your eyes, "So uh.. you're good at gift-giving, right?"

Oscar tilted his head in thought, "I mean, I don't think it's something I'm known for."

"But like, you're good at it right?" you tried leaning towards him.

"Yeah, I guess so."

Happily, you slightly bounced on your spot, "Great!" you paused, "So like, hypothetically, if you got Max for Secret Santa," you saw a small smile spread on Oscar's face, "Hypothetically, what would you get him?"

Oscar hummed, "Hypothetically..." he dragged the word out, he paused before seeming stumped, "I don't know.."

"Oscar!" you groaned, slumping in disappointment.

"I seriously don't know," he whispered to himself, seemingly distraught, "Wow...I don't know."

The room's tone shifted as Oscar kept mumbling to himself.

"It's okay Oscar," you smiled awkwardly, "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know..." he muttered to himself, avoiding eye contact.

"It's okay.." you patted his arm, noticing more and more people were glancing your way, yet he didnt stop mumbling to himself.

You laughed awkwardly, slowly getting up, "Yeah okay." you mumbled, looking around before walking away, leaving him with his mumbles.

You circled around the hotel lobby for what felt like hours (it was three minutes) continuously taking peeks at Oscar, who continued to look in horror at a revelation that he, did not know.

After a few more circles, you thankfully spotted the next person on your ‘help with gift’ list, Lando. He was exiting the elevator, a concerned look on his face as he started heading towards Oscar.

You took off in a quick jog, cutting him off mid-walk, he stumbled on his feet trying to not bump into you, “Hey!” you greeted gleefully, blocking his eyesight as they trailed back to Oscar.

"Hey." he blinked, shooting you a quick smile before his eyes inevitability trailed back to Oscar, who had a deep frown on his face.

"I need your help," you pursed your lips, Lando looked down at you in confusion before looking back to Oscar, contemplation clear on his face. You decided to clear the air, "Oscars fine. He just's...thinking, about what I'm going to ask you actually!"

It took a second before Lando nodded in acceptance, "Okay? What’s up?"

"I got Max for Secret Santa, and I want to get him something super good, but you know I'm bad at gifts right? Yeah, I got you for Secret Santa last year and it sucked," you rambled as Lando nodded with a frown, recalling when you got him a replica of his helmet, like his own helmet, it would've been thoughtful if it wasn't, his helmet, "And I asked Jos and he was no help, so then I asked Oscar but I think.. I think I broke him."

Lando looked down at you blankly, opening his mouth and closing it a couple times, before finally, he took a deep breath, "Okay.." he dragged out, "Why don't you try anything racing-related?"

"That's what Jos suggested."

Lando jumped back in disgusted, "So let's not get him anything racing-related."

You nodded in agreement, "I was going to get him a new cat but that seems like a big commitment."

Lando hummed in agreement, "Especially because he just got one, what's its name? Donatello?"

"Mhmm."

"What if you don't get him a cat, but get him something for his cats." He rose up a brow.

Your face lit up before it slowly dimmed, "But isn't that like getting his cats something and not him something."

Lando shrugged, a small frown appearing on his face, "That's all I got."

You groaned throwing your head back, "No! Lando no!"

Lando laughed, his eyes crinkling in amusement, "I'm sorry!"

You moved to his side, putting your head on his shoulder, "What'd you get Zhou?"

Lano beamed, "A pillow of his cat, Sweetcorn."

You gasped, an open-mouth smile on your face, Lando quickly cut in, "No you cannot use that idea!"

You faltered, looking up with a glare, "Have I told you how much I hate you?"

Lando looked down at you with a cheeky smile, "Many times, yes."

You grumble to yourself, slight smaking him on the shoulder before turning and walking away, onto the next and final person on your list.

.

You had lost Daniel Ricciardo's phone number. That was a big problem seeing as he was the last person on your 'quest to find Max the perfect gift' list.

You had gotten a phone two months prior, actually, Max got you a new phone, claiming that your old phone was 'deteriorating.'

During the process of switching phones, all of your contacts were deleted, a problem that was solved as you went around the track asking for all the phone numbers you could get, the problem was that Daniel was no longer at the track. You told yourself that you would get to it eventually, but you never did.

And now you were in this horrible situation, you had to somehow get Daniel's phone number from Max, without explaining why you needed it.

You could've gone to literally any of the other drivers, but they all seemed to be strangely avoiding you. (Little did you know Max had figured out the next part of your plan and told everyone to ‘hide’ from you so you had no choice but to go to him.)

He was sitting next to GP, pointing at something on the screen his mouth moving widely. You snuck up behind him, giving GP a look, hoping he would take the hint. Thankfully he did. He only took a couple seconds patting Max on his back and walking away.

Quickly you slid into his seat, shooting Max a smile.

His eyebrows shot up instantly, "You're done avoiding me?"

You laughed fakely, looking around the garage, "Me? Ignore you? What? Outrageous Max, just—outrageous."

The driver shot you a look, making you clear your throat awkwardly, "Do you have Daniel Riccarido's number?" Stupid question, of course, he had his number.

"I do." Max nodded simply, you winced you had hoped that he would just offer it on the spot, but of course is it really Max if he isn't difficult?

"Great!" you nodded enthusiastically, "..Can I have it?" you added quickly.

Max smiled to himself, turning his body toward you entirely, his head leaning on his palm, "Why do you want it?"

You faltered, swallowing thickly, "Why?" you stuttered, trying to think of a great excuse.

"Mhm. Why?"

You stared at him, "Because he's my friend. And—and I miss talking to him."

Max's smile got wider, "I got you a new phone two months ago, you haven't said anything about talking to Daniel?"

Shit. He was catching on. "I want to ask him out!" What?

You blinked, shocked at what had just come out of your mouth, Max on the other hand looked more amused than ever, "Oh?" he tilted his head, "Really? You and Daniel?"

You nodded painfully, "Yeah—yeah, um I've been thinking about it for a long time?...and this just seems like the right moment, ya know?"

Max was beaming ear to ear, "No, I don't know."

"Okay well, you don't need to get it. I just—I need his phone number please."

Wordless, Max handed you his phone, watching as you opened it and sent yourself Daniel's number, you hopped off the chair, giving him one last awkward smile, "See you later!"

Max watched you go with a fond smile, shaking his head. God he couldn't wait to see what you would get him for Secret Santa.

.

"I'm surprised to hear from you!" was one of the first things Daniel said when he picked up the phone. You were currently in the bathroom with five minutes to spare before ths race started.

"I lost your number!" you defended yourself, peeking under the stall to see if anyone had entered the bathroom, thankful nobody had, "I need your help."

"How may the wise Daniel Ricciardo help thee?"

You pulled a face, shaking your head, "What should I get Max for secret santa?"

"Easy. Get him something family-related."

You got a hear a pin drop. Easy. Something family-related, of course! Max loves his family!

"You are a fucking genius, Daniel."

"So I've been told." you could hear his smirk through the phone. Unfortunately, you didnt have time to hear him continue, "While I have you, how has your season been—“

"Sorry Daniel, can't talk, thanks for the insight! Oh and by the way, if Max or anyone asked I declared my love for you on this call and you very kindly rejected me? Okay? Okay!" before he could splutter out anything, you had already hung up.

.

Max stood in front of the camera crew, a smile on his face as he shook the small envelope, "So it's not a new cat?" he quipped.

The people behidn the camera laughed, the social media admin shrugged with a grin, "It still could be."

Max shook his head as he started to slowly and carefully open the envelope, "I don't think she could manage to fit a cat in here." nobody picked up on the 'she'

Max hummed as he peeked inside the envelope, "I see a note, should I read that first?" he looked at the admin, who shrugged.

"Okay.." he dragged out, pulling out the note, he cleared his throat as he started to read, "Happy Holidays Max! I hope you're reading this after you've opened the actual present..." Max paused, slowly turning up to the crew who were shaking in laughter, he shook his head deciding that it was too late to stop, "Getting you a present was very very, very difficult, but after some help, I was able to make my choice, I really do hope you enjoy the vacation with your mom and sister," he paused before continuing, "And don't worry about booking hotels or babysitters, I got it all done, Merry (early) Christmas Maxie, with love—your secret santa."

With a huge smile, Max placed the letter onto the table, before excitedly reaching into the envelopes, and pulling out three plane ticks, "Wow." he gasped, turning the tickets and showing them off to the camera, "It's three tickets to Greece for me, my mom and sister," he beamed, examining them further, "I've always wanted to go." he whispered to himself.

The camera crew smiled to themselves while the social media admin leaned in with her eyebrow raised, "Any idea who your secret santa was?"

Max nodded almost instantly, laughing slightly, "It's (yn) I recognize her writing."

The admin laughed, shaking her head, "That's cheating Max!"

Max shook his head, pointing at the woman, "It's not my fault I'm good at this!"

The admin waved him off, "Okay! Okay, you were right, it was her."

Max smirked, "I knew it," his eyes unfocused, wandering over to behind the group of people in front of them, curious they all trailed their eyes over to where he was staring, "I guessed right! You can come out now!" Max yelled out, the camera crew gasped as you peeked out of a thick pillar, hopping over to them with a smile.

"She was there the whole time?" the mic man whispered to the cameraman, who shrugged, mouth open in surprise.

"I don't know...but that's slightly scary."

You walked over to Max with a smile, letting out a small squeak as he pulled you into a tight hug unexpectedly, "You guessed so quickly" you groaned, feeling him press a kiss on your head.

"I found your list," Max whispered in your ear, laughing as he felt you tense up.

"Like the list?" you groaned, feeling embarrassment flood your system.

"The list," Max confirmed as you two pulled away.

You winced avoiding eye contact.

Max laughed, reaching over to squeeze your hand, "Thank you. Really. I love the gift."

You smiled proudly, before turning to the admin who was watching the scene with a small smile, "I'm warning you right now that I am never doing secret santa gain."

The woman giggled, a cerstain gleam in her eye, "We'll see about that."

.

a/n: truly impressed with the writers who write 4k words and UP fics, this one is 3.4k and it took me well over two weeks to write (which is why its being uploaded after christmas) anywhoo i hope you guys enjoyed!!!

[purplecrimson]

This made me think a lot about my own experience with non-queer people, thank you for both of your posts @genderqueerdykes and @kithpendragon ^^

As a (very) young queer adult who is still hiding from their aphobic and transphobic family, I am really glad I had queer friends who helped me out and comforted me during my childhood and my teenage years.

My experiences with cishet people of my generation were more mixed: while most women (/ girls depending on their age at that time) seemed to genuinely care about me and tried to understand the problems I was facing, I could not meet a cishet man who was an ally; in fact, I heard the most transphobic sh*t while trying to do so, and some of it came from one of my friends, which really hurt me (and I couldn't even stand up for myself, I was too weak...). Therefore, I started growing bitter towards all cishet men, which even resulted in me disliking myself for being transmasc. Online spaces I was in did not help me dealing with this insecurity.

But in September 2023, upon entering higher education, I met a professor - a cishet man - who has been making a difference in my life, by being kind-hearted, compassionate and thoughtful. Some gushing incoming :D

He was the first person outside of my friend circle I dared coming out to. I sent him a shy email asking if I could change my name and pronouns without the academic institution telling my parents, even if it was not technically authorised (I was still a minor). He had a perfect reaction, informed all of the other professors and offered his help in case someone decided to be transphobic.

But he did not just treat me decently. He went out of his way (even when he did not have to) to make my life as comfortable as it could be as a trans person, ensuring, for example, that I was misgendered in the least possible amount of documents. And when I was feeling scared or sad, I knew I could talk to him about it - he would always listen. Heck, he even called me during last summer holydays, even if he is not my professor anymore, when he somehow learnt that I was depressed and ready to quit my studies.

And of course, he is a brilliant, charismatic, motivating and captivating professor - everyone loves him. I ended up realising he made me want to become a researcher or a professor in his field, which gave me back some hope and energy. And I often come back to his classroom to chat or ask him for some advice - his door is always open. He is also rather skilled in reminding me that I should be more self-confident!

One could say he saved me, without knowing it. I don't think he has any idea how much of an impact he's had on my life. I am still trying to find a way to thank him, to tell him how much I admire and look up to him before I move to a university far away. I can't even begin to word it.

Weirdly, the fact that he is a cishet man has been sticking in my head too. Now, I understand why: I guess he gives me back hope from a more political point of view too, and makes me feel less shameful to say that yes, I am transmasc (even if I still have to work on this...).

i feel like the entire online queer community collectively forgot, or rather pretends that queer allies don't exist. like. we literally have a term and even a flag for queer allies. they exist. assuming every single perisex cishet person hates queer people isn't the way to go. allies are a very real and important part of our community. allies challenge the status quo by saying, i'm not queer, but i support what you're doing. they exist. they're out there- and yes, many of them are cishet men.

please don't forget this, or pretend that they don't exist: allies are an extremely important part of our history, community, and safety.

[scarletttries]

When Baldur's Gate 3 Companions Fall in Love...(Baldur's Gate 3 Request)

Pairings: Astarion x Reader, Wyll Ravengard x Reader, Gale Dekarios x Reader, Shadowheart x Reader, Karlach x Reader

Author's Note: It's been a while! I haven't posted in a while but I've got some time at the moment and I'm just finishing a first playthrough of BG3 so wanted to write some headcanons for our charming companions. Consider me open for any BG3 request too, let me know if you want to see more pieces like this :)

Astarion:

- Travelling with you makes Astarion feel grateful he's had hundreds of years to perfect his flirting technique. He knows exactly how to let you know what he's thinking without ever giving away too much of himself, how to flash his smile without ever lowering his guard. He thinks once again he knows exactly how to capture your attention, and possibly your body, without losing an ounce of control. That is until you say something that catches him completely off guard...

- "I'm really sorry to hear that." You should have laughed at his expense, his self-deprecating humour and haunted tales from his past worn like the toughest armour over silky open shirts. But you hadn't laughed, or scoffed, or replied with some equivalently sarcastic tone. Instead you'd offered empathy, a warm look and an extended hand that somehow didn't feel like pity to Astarion either.

"Well that's enough self-pity for tonight my dear." He quickly excused himself from the campfire, turning his back as he entered his tent to hide any visible blush his cheeks may muster from the way you said good night. Of course his blood didn't circulate that way any more, but he was almost sure he could feel his heart rising in his chest as it had when he was still a mortal man. No, this didn't feel right at all.

- It would be easy for Astarion to pretend he was only interested in a night of carnal pleasures with you because of all the beauty you possess, and he'll let everyone else think him a shallow man just the same. But when he lets his mind wander freely it's your kindness he finds himself dwelling on, or your firm but fair moral code that seems to carry you through these intrepid lands without doubt or tribulation. He almost wishes he had met you sooner, so sure that his life (and after-life) could have turned out quite different with you by his side at those strange early steps.

- Suddenly all his effortless flirting feels a lot more challenging and he can't decide if he should risk a small amount of sincerity to let you know how we feels, or just to double down on letting you know one night with him would ruin you for any other lover. Luckily both approaches are met with the affection he craves, and slowly but surely Astarion starts to feel like he might be able to have something real for once.

Wyll:

- Ever the hopeless romantic, Wyll was already a firm believer in love at first sight by the time he ran into you and experienced it firsthand. He fears he cannot be too bold, his staunch commitment to his duties governing his life in a way that does not leave much room for any other kind of commitment. He tries to let his feelings settle at the back of his mind, in the hopes that in time they will become nothing but a dull ache he can learn to live with.

- That could not be less of the case for poor Wyll though, your face filling his every nightly dream and your voice echoing through his mind in every moment of silence. His heart grows heavier and heavier with each passing day you travel together and soon it feels almost inevitable that he will be yours, even if he can't quite bring himself to admit it yet. Once he has accepted that thought he must wrestle with the possibility that you might not feel the same and you will be added to his list of those he cares for most that have rejected him with scorn.

- Still he lets the lighter thoughts carry him through the toughest of times; what it might be like to hear you offer your own feelings back, how it would feel to see you smile only for him, what kind of life the two of you might be able to build in a simpler times, what he could finally do if you agreed to a wedding night together. He lets himself ruminate on that more often that he'd like to admit, all gentlemanly efforts banished from his mind when he sees you walk around his camp.

- While he builds up the courage to make his feelings known, you might catch him practicing the steps of an intricate dance one night when he thinks everyone is fast asleep.

Gale:

- Gale has known love and loss before, the intensity of his past life making him consider keeping his heart closed off from others forevermore. But the gods have a funny way of keeping Gale on his toes, and introducing him to you certainly did that.

- At first you are just the warmest of friends to him: an ever-willing audience for his lifetime of tales and knowledge, a reliable companion for the throes of battle, a selfless treasure seeker who helps him fend off hunger. But over time he finds himself desperately scanning his mind for more and more facts that it would be worth waking you up to share, more tales to capture your attention, anything the two of you might do together to keep your focus on him and no one else.

- It's about when he wonders if the two of you might just camp in one tent together, that he realises he no longer views you as simply his closest friend. No, you have long passed that threshold into an entirely new realm of love. It feels so different to anything he has felt before, like your company is the warmest summer breeze after decades of stormy lightning in his heart. It feels safe and easy to be with you, like he could be content with almost nothing as long as you were by his side, looking at him with your near endless appreciation. Gale can't be sure exactly what to do about it, but he hopes the next time you draw back the opening on your tent and usher him in for another night of exchanging tales, that you might permit him to never leave.

Shadowheart:

- It's hard to know love when you barely know yourself. That's what Shadowheart tells herself when she finds her mind wandering back to you after your memorable first impression. She has so much to learn about herself, and while she's grateful for the reliable company and kind sounding-board you provide, there's simply no room in her life for anything more.

- And yet the more she uncovers about herself, the more important it seems to have you by her side. It's like she cannot exist in this new fully realised version of herself if she doesn't know you. If she doesn't get to see herself through your eyes, to hear what you think, to have your presence beside her as he continues to take more and more steps forward down this path home.

- Without ever trying you have become the other half of Shadowheart, and by the time she realises it, she knows you must have the same awareness. There could be no way that you aren't as in tune to the depth of your bond as she is, leaving her only one question. Not if to address it. But when.

Karlach:

- Though Karlach may not have a traditional heart anymore, she is more than capable of falling for the travelling companion that seems to bring out the best in her at every step. After years spent working for the devil and his underlings, having someone in her life that strives to make the world better and put her strength to good use is like the first sip of water after countless nights in the arid desert of the hells.

- Karlach knows she's as strong as they come, so she finds her eyes frantically searching you out in battle, pushing herself on and raging forwards to always keep you safe, to get you behind her, to make sure you go on to keep her company another day.

- Her time in this plane of existence may be more limited than some of the other characters, but that only means Karlach knows how important it is to truly 'live.' While the other companions may bide their time and carefully deliberate how best to inform you of their inconvenient feelings, when Karlach knows your heart is true, she's going to let you know she is all yours at the earliest, and steamiest, opportunity.

[ofstarsandvibranium]

Meet & Greet

Fandom: Stranger Things (Gamer/Streamer/Modern AU)

Pairing: Eddie Munson x F!Reader

Summary: Your collab stream with Eddie was a success! You thought afterwards, communication between you two would dwindle, but it didn't. You kept inviting each other to play games on stream, you two were constantly messaging each other off screen. You two became great friends so quickly. But both of your communities definitely think you two should be more than just friends. Based off my imagine here.

Pog Champ | Thanks for the Raid!

Eddie Munson Masterlist

The closer Twitch Con was, the more nervous you became. Not only were you going to have your own Meet and Greet, but you were also going to be meeting Eddie for the first time.

For months now, you and Eddie have messaged each other. You've played several games with each other on stream, he's even invited you to his new D&D campaign with his other friends. You've woven yourselves into each other's lives and you don't even know how you could continue your day without your daily dose of Eddie.

You've definitely developed feelings for him and for several months, you've been keeping it in. However, you don't know how much longer you could keep it in. But then again, you're meeting him for the first time and you don't want to put him off.

UGH! Why are feelings so difficult?!

__________________________

For Twitch Con, Eddie is rooming with his friend and mod, Dustin, at the hotel. As he's unpacking his clothes, Dustin is chilling on his bed.

"So...you're meeting Cat."

"Yeah, and?" Eddie asks as he hangs up his jacket in the closet.

"You nervous?"

He scoffs, "No! Why would I be nervous?"

Dustin rolls his eyes, "'Cause you fucking like her."

"No, I don't! How many times do I have to tell you-"

"Eddie, man, c'mon. Stop bullshitting me here. It's just us." Dustin stands from his bed and approaches Eddie. He places his hands on his shoulders, "Eddie-"

"Don't touch me."

"Sorry," Dustin immediately drops his hands and clears his throat, "Eddie, tell me the truth: do you like Cat?"

Eddie gulps, "Y-Yeah. But I can't tell her that! Especially not this weekend. We're meeting for the first time and I don't want to overwhelm her. She's already got a lot on her plate this weekend. I don't want to add to it."

Dustin shakes his head, "How are you older than me but you're acting like such a pussy!"

Eddie narrows his eyes at the younger man, "Shut up," he pushes Dustin back and he falls onto the bed.

___________________

Your assistant, Suzie, accompanied you to Twitch Con. You and she shared a hotel room and she was also partially your bodyguard. She may seem harmless, but she could definitely assert herself.

Day one was here and she walks beside you after you two enter the convention hall. You decided to do an IRL stream for the first day to ease your nerves. Having chat there made you feel a little less lonely.

"Hi guys! It's Twitch Con Day One! I'll be walking around the convention with Suzie today. So if you're around, say hi!" Suzie follows you with the phone attached to a handheld tripod, connected to a portable charger.

While you walk around, you have your own phone to look at chat. You and Suzie respond to any questions.

"Am I here all three days? Yup! I'll be here! Today I'm just checking out the booths and the vendors."

DreamerHorizon: whens your meet and greet?

"Tomorrow at 2pm! Suzie and I are gonna go check out the meet and greet area so I know where to go. But I hope to see some of you there!"

EchoKnight: i'll be there!

"Yay! Can't wait to meet you, Echo!"

PuckYouLol: you're meeting Eddie right?

"Hopefully! I'm not sure what his schedule is looking like, but I told him to swing by my table tomorrow if I don't see him today! I'm hoping I can see my other streamer friends too!"

As you walk through the hall, you stop at different booths. Several sponsor booths as well as Artist Alley where several small businesses and artists sold their game related merchandise.

"Guys, look at this crocheted Among Us character! And the pink one has cat ears! I think I'm gonna get it. Remember I used to use this exact character during the Among Us era? Good times!" Suzie focuses the camera on you as you pay. You grab a a business card of the artists and show the camera, "Check out their shop if you want some cute crochet plushies!"

Eddie spots you in artist alley and he's frozen in place. You're with a friend and it seems you're streaming.

"Dude, go up to her." Mike, one of Eddie's other friends and mods, nudges him. His girlfriend El, by his side.

Eddie gulps and shakes his head, "Nah. She's busy streaming. I-I really shouldn't bother her."

Mike rolls his eyes and El shakes her in disappointment, "You're not gonna chicken out tomorrow for her meet and greet are you?"

He shrugs, "Don't know. I wanna meet her, but, I mean," he holds his arms out, "Look at me. There's no way she'll wanna meet me in person right?"

Dustin snorts and leans in to Mike, "Told you he'd be a pussy."

The oldest of them smacks down Dustin's hat, "And I told you, Henderson, to shut the fuck up. Now come on, let's keep walking around." He pulls his friends along, further away from you.

He wants to meet you, truly, he does. He doesn't want to admit it, but Eddie is scared and insecure. He's afraid of the thought of you rejecting him. He doesn't want to experience the same feeling he's felt a lot of his life. The feeling of no one wanting him around, everyone thinking him as a freak.

A large majority of his mind and heart knows you aren't like those people back in his hometown. You're kind, smart, funny, and treat everyone you meet with kindness.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow, he'll pluck up the courage go meet you in person.

____________________

EddieTheBanished: good morning, miss big time streamer!

CyberCat: I'm not a big time streamer!

EddieTheBanished: says the one who has a meet and greet table!

CyberCat: i'm so fucking nervous for today...

EddieTheBanished: You'll be fine! People will be showing up!

CyberCat: I'm so nervous I don't think I can eat anything.

EddieTheBanished: you should definitely eat something. don't want you passing out or anything.

CyberCat: fiiiiine.

"Eddie, stop texting your girlfriend and start getting ready!" Dustin tosses a pillow at Eddie.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Eddie exclaims, throwing the pillow back at the younger man.

"Right. You need to have enough balls to ask her to be your girlfriend to call her your girlfriend!" The pillow gets thrown back at Eddie and Dustin rushes into the bathroom right as the pillow hits the door as it slams shut.

________________________

You kind of regret going to that Twitch Party last night. You had one too many shots of...something and you woke up hungover. Not an ideal feeling considering you were probably going to meet a good amount of people today.

Luckily, Suzie had ordered room service for the both you and you had a hearty meal, despite your stomach telling you it needs to do everything but eat.

Afterwards, you made up your face, doing your best not to appear hungover, which included taking some painkillers.

It was noon by the time 1:15 pm by the time you got to the convention. In 45 minutes, you'll be having your meet and greet.

From what you understood, the meet and greets were still going by the lottery system. So hopefully the people who attend your meet and greet are actual fans and not people who chose you as a backup. Apparently that's been an issue for the past few cons and that added to your list of anxieties leading up to today.

Suzie holds your hand tightly as you go to the streamer lounge. There you meet one of the con representatives that walks you through the process of the meet and greet.

You keep your eyes on him while he escorts you towards the meet and greet area. He explains the process, things you can and can't do, as well as that there will be a security guard nearby in case anything were to happen. You were really hoping nothing bad would.

You peeked out from behind the curtain to see the line that formed to meet you. You're in shock to see that many people.

"Hi, Cat!" some people exclaim, spotting you from behind the curtain.

You smile widely, waving at them, "Hi! I'll see you guys soon! Thanks for coming!" the group cheers and you let the curtain fall back. Suzie looks at you with a grin, "See! People showed up!"

"Yeah, they did," you respond with a smile on your face.

_________________________

"Woah. That's a lot of people," Gareth says as he spots the line to meet you.

A big smile appears on his face to see the amount of people that showed up for you, "I told her people would come." He cranes his neck to see you beyond the crowd. You're engaged in a conversation with two guys. You're nodding and smiling as they say something to you, and respond back.

Afterwards, they hand a phone to a young woman who takes a picture of the three of you. You thank the two men and wave them good-bye. You excuse yourself for some water. As you're quickly chugging down, you spot him: Eddie.

Your eyes widen and you gulp. You slam your water bottle onto the table and squeal, "EDDIE!" You apologize and excuse yourself from the next person in line to rush over to him.

"Oh shit, she's coming this way!" Mike says and Eddie quips, "Everyone be cool!"

You're not sure what comes over you, but you run to Eddie and throw your arms around him, "It's so nice to finally meet you in person!" you exclaim.

A few people in line record you and take pictures of you since you're closer to him.

Eddie's words get caught in his throat. His cheeks start to heat up and he begins to stutter, "I-Uh-You-" he pauses to clear his throat, "Hi." He doesn't know how, but you're so much prettier in person. He didn't think it was possible to be even prettier.

“Ye-Yeah. Um, hey. It’s uh, uh good to meet you too.”

Dustin, Mike, and Gareth, are snickering at him, while El is smirking.

You think it’s adorable though. You take him by the chin, lowering his head down a bit more. You stare into Eddie’s eyes and smirk, “You’re wrong by the way.”

“About?” He asks in sudden confusion.

“Your eyes do kind of sparkle.” You giggle and take a step back, "Thanks for coming. Did you guys want to hang by my table?"

Dustin opens his mouth to accept but Eddie beats him to it, "It's okay! We should let you do your thing."

You pout a bit and Eddie swears it's the cutest thing he's ever seen, "You sure? It wouldn't be an issue! You guys can even hang behind the curtain to wait for me?"

He shakes his head, "We're sure. You're busy and we should let you get to it."

Your shoulders sag a bit, "Okay," you say dejectedly, “I’ll message you after this and maybe we can walk around the convention together?

Eddie nods, "Sound good!” He gives you a thumbs up and then cringes because why the hell did he do that? That’s so lame!

You chuckle and give him a thumbs up back, "Cool. See you later!" you give him a wave and head back to the table. You apologize again to the people waiting for you and gesture for the next person to come up.

Eddie's frozen in place, watching you speak to every person that approaches you. Gareth nudges him, "Smooth, dude."

Eddie scowls, "Shut up," and pushes him forward, "Let's go wander."

"You're telling me you don't wanna creepily watch her from her afar?" Mike asks, causing Dustin and Gareth to snicker.

"Mike, leave him alone. Come on," El tugs his hand and leads him away. El gives Eddie a nod and he nods back in thanks.

He glances back at you and as if knowing he was looking, you look up and stare right back at him. You smile and nod at him before bringing your attention back to the person in front of you.

Eddie gulps and rubs his hand over his chest, trying to soothe his fast beating heart.

[shysuccubusstuff]

Bodyguard! Mr. Scarlatella:

Content: Yandere! Mr. Scarlatella but he is actually human + assassin + farmer! scarlatella; non proof-reading; female anatomy + dubcon/noncon + kidnapping + usage of substances (once for the kidnapping) + mindbreak + lovesick! Mr. Scarlatella; cunnilingus + breeding kink + baby trapping + possessive! dom + overstimulation + orgasm denial + creampie + impregnation + trophy wife! reader (kind of?)

Summary: You never imagined that the guy that was about to end your father's and your life would end up falling head over feels for you, but hey, at least you're alive, right?...

Word count: 4240 words.

Note: I just hate how my brain decides to get dry af as soon as I end with my exams/essays... btw, Merry Christmas to everyone who reads this!! I'm thinking about making a kind of pt. 2 but with Mr. Crawling, let me know if you would want to read it!! It's weird to go back to the more dark stuff when I had started to write less heavy stuff... I feel I may have gotten a bit too creative for his personality, so let me know!!

Note 2: Let me know if any content tag is missing-- I wrote this over a whole week so I may have forgotten some...

You were the daughter of one of the wealthiest so it was only natural for you to live under the feeling of being targeted by someone, even since you were a child. So when your father presented a new bodyguard for you, it was nothing out of the ordinary, just some new guy who would probably quit by the month (at most). So he arrived, long black hair falling in a cascade and deep purplish pupils that pierced you through his polarised glasses.

"Dear, this is the new bodyguard, I hope you know how to behave yourself, I don't want to keep on complaining to that damn company, they keep saying it's your fault, but it's impossible for it to be solely your fault, I mean, it's been over 10 bodyguards in less than two months... Anyways, I have to leave, Daddy has some work to do." With that, your father left, his expensive cologne lingering in the air as he slammed the door, the new bodyguard still on the entrance of your room, a slightly unsettling smile creeping on his lips as he stood there.

"So you won't even introduce yourself? Seriously, the quality of that damn company is so freaking low... Can't believe they didn't even teach you how to introduce yourself." The man bowed a bit, taking a small notebook and giving it to you. "What the...? So you're saying that you're still learning the language and don't want to mess up? Ugh, ok, whatever. What's your name?" The man with crimson hair refused to speak, stating that he had not received a proper code name yet. "Seriously? Can't even call your name cause they didn't gave it to you, well that's just perfect. Don't bother me, just stand outside or whatever, as if I care." With those last words, the man left, finally leaving you alone in your room. "What the heck is wrong with that dude? I'm gonna complain to that fucking company of security, how am I supposed to trust him when I don't even know his name..."

As time went on, you were slowly able to get to know him, getting to know that he was actually coming from Japan because of some "old acquaintance" he knew since many years ago, that he loved magic tricks and that he was actually quite... cute. It hurt to even think it, but it was true, he was a cute man, always behind you when you allowed him, always running around you with your delicious drink ready and your purse hanging off his shoulder. God, he even learnt how to do your nails, makeup and hair in case you wanted to get it done on the days you were just too lazy to get out of the house... He was even there that night.

You had waken up by around three in the morning, making your way to your door so you could get something to eat in the kitchen, soon noticing that Scarlatella (as you liked to call him in a kind of playful way because of his hair colour) was nowhere to be seen, but hey, he was human as well, maybe he just went to the bathroom or something like that. As you were about to arrive to the kitchen, you noticed that the mansion was a bit too quiet, one would even say that it would have been possible to listen to a pin dropping to the marble ground. Unsettled, you quickly made your way to your father's bedroom, but you soon found out that the bed was completely cold. Now alarmed, you run to his studio, the sound of your feet resonating all over the empty corridor as you forced the door open, soon finding a terrible scene.

It was your father, well, what used to be your father, as his body was already turning cold, his skin turning slightly blue with clear signs of choking. Just as you were about to scream, your vocal cords were unable to produce a sound, your lungs being completely filled with a strange air that made you gasp for hair before you started to feel lightheaded. As you felt your conscience drift, you silently cursed that stupid company and that useless yet slightly charming man.

By the time you woke up, you soon noticed that your whole body was intact, expect for slight marks of rope on your wrists. As soon as you recovered a bit, you took a deep breath, deciding to try and scream to the top of your lungs in case someone could hear you.

"Hey! Someone there? Some crazy jackass has kidnapped me and---!" Suddenly, the heave iron door was opened, a familiar face entering the room.

"Good morning, dearest. I'm so glad you were finally able to open your eyes, you see, it was a bit difficult to get the amount of dose correctly, as I have never tried to keep someone as tiny and beautiful as yourself." Your old bodyguard entered, the heavy door closing behind him as he brought a tray on one of his hands. "Here, I brought you a few things I know you like." You looked at the delicious-looking food, your mouth watering as you saw all your favourite desserts, together with a bunch of your most beloved fruits. Despite the confusion, you tried to keep it together, looking to the other side and refusing to do what he asked. "Dearest, you've been asleep for over t--" Before he could end his sentence, you had already hit the tray with one of your legs, sending the appetizing food.

"Why the fuck are you here? You failed protecting me-- Fuck, you left my father to die, you're lucky I'm tied here cause I would crush your fucking skull with my---" The crimson-haired man got closer, dangerously close, in fact, his warm breath hitting against your face.

"Oh dear, I always knew you had quite the filthy mouth, but you must have been quite shocked to see that pig like that... I understand, I would never stop loving you for something trivial like that... Nor for anything, to be fair." His cold hands touched your face, the callouses in his hands making you frown even more than before.

"Listen fucker---." The man covered your mouth with his much larger hand, the shivers resulted from the cold shifting into goosebumps from the fear.

"Shh, dear. I understand, no need to explain it to me. I will make sure to re-educate you so you can go back to your natural self, that pig tricked your poor mind, but I will be able to fix it for you, see? I’m being such a good man for you, after all, I was supposed to kill you, but I even decided to turn my back to my client and let you live, I even avoided someone to think that you were alive. It was a bit of a hassle, but hey, I would do everything for you, dear.” The man finally got away from your face, taking the tray that had fallen to the ground because of you, together with the food that had been smashed to the ground. “It’s ok, dear. I understand this will take some time, luckily, I have all the time in the world, you just need some… hard love. I’m sure you will start to appreciate my company and care soon enough.” With that, the man smiled one last time to you, leaving the room with the sound of the heavy iron door closing, leaving you in the middle of the dark.

Since that moment, your slow torture started. The man left you in the dark for who knows how long, covering your eyes with a soft cloth, only taking out when he was around so he could start to… kind of associate him with the light, you supposed. He kept bringing you scrumptious plates, from your favourite foods to exotic ones. Of course, that was until the… maybe over tenth time you had throw his tray to the ground. That time, he simply took the tray, taking once again all the food on the floor and leaving in complete silence. The next time you was him was after… maybe one whole day? Your stomach kept rumbling, and what began as anger quickly became desperation, then crying and finally crying while screaming.

By around two months, your mind and body had become completely accustomed to his timetable and behaviour, letting him pet you as you ate what he brought, letting his hands clean your whole body and hair, not even complaining when you felt his hands drift towards your more private parts. Scarlatella looked extremely content with his work, rewarding you with constant praises and even a “pretty” collar for you. Despite it was a clear symbol of your turn into a kind of pet, the collar was beautiful, the gold glistening under the cold light as the beautiful charm with the form of a heart made a small noise of a bell each time you moved.

“Do you like it? I wanted something to congratulate you, after all, you have finally graduated. You are now back to your natural self.” You nodded, letting your head fall on his lap as he kept petting you. “I was thinking about giving you whatever you want, you can just ask.” He waited patiently until you were able to think about something other than the warmth that was coming from his body.

“…Freedom. I want to leave this room, please.” His eyes widened a bit, perhaps surprised that you were still able to think about your freedom.

“Dear, I know this can get suffocating, but you must stay here, it’s for your sa—”

“Please! I can feel my mind… slipping. This is getting worse each day, I… I don’t want do it, but the constant darkness is making me… think about… Just give me a bigger place, I don’t need something as fancy as my house, just something bigger than this room.” Scarlatella looked at you with a puzzled expression, his hand still massaging your scalp as he thought. Finally, he answered, not before letting a deep sigh.

“I suppose that’s fine. I can think of a story to explain your sudden appearance. Give me a few days so I can get everything ready, yeah? Promise I will do it.” As soon as he said that, he got up from the sofa that was in the room, quickly leaving the place before you were able to beg him to keep his promise.

Contrary to what you believed, Scarlatella kept his promise, coming back with a small suitcase and some clothes for you to change yourself, taking your hand as he made you walk with your eyes covered by that well-known cloth. When you were finally told to take it off, you were in the middle of a beautiful flower field. All the flowers were spider lilies, making it seem as if it was some kind of blood-filled battlefield.

“Do you like it, dear? I had to pay some money so they could build this house, together with planting these flowers.” He kept his grip around your wrist tight, not hurting you, but not letting go either. As he opened the door, you finally saw the house. It was a beautiful villa, completely decorated with cottage-like furniture.

“Yes, I like it.” Scarlatella smiled, a strange sheen in his gaze.

Soon, you realised why was he looking at you like that. You had fallen completely into his plan for turning you into his wife. He had created some complex story about you being his wife for over eight years, having to separate because you had been taking care of your sick father while he worked to the bone to get you as much as he could for the moment you came back to him. Everyone in the small hometown believed him, after all, he had been working there as farmer for quite some time, using it as a mere disguise so he could plan every little detail, creating a perfect façade so everyone would simply nod and smile to whatever he said. After that, your role became the one of a housewife, making you bake, cook, and clean, keeping the house warm and tidy by the time he arrived back home.

Soon, the days started to melt together, and your deep engraved hatred for him turned into a less bitter resentment. After all, he was the one that was providing for you, keeping you all warm and cozy while buying every single thing you asked him for, never doing anything that could hurt you. Slowly but surely, your mind started to reshape once again, now seeing him as a still intimidating, yet protecting figure. With that, it was finally the perfect ground for Scarlatella to create his perfect little wife.

Since that moment, Scarlatella started to become more physical with you, helping you around with all the cooking, “accidentally” rubbing his groin against your ass while he pretended to search for something on the top shelf. Not only that, but he made sure you could see him as a capable man, carrying the animals over his shoulder with ease, other times he was simply fixing stuff around the place. But the last moment he needed for your brain to start to see him as a possible partner was when you found him around town playing with the small children from the orphanage. He was surrounded by all of them, lifting them around and making them fly across the hair, his relaxed smile plastered on his face as he tried to make them control themselves as they waited their turn. Your eyes widened a bit, surprised to see him in such a… casual scene. So when he got back home, his working shirt slightly drenched because of the sudden rain that had started quite recently. The shirt was getting clung on his body, making his lean and muscular body stand out even further.

“Hey dear, how was your day? I hope it went great. Sorry I’m late, can’t believe I got caught in the middle of the rain while I was finishing some errands…” As he said that, he made his way around the kitchen, taking off his shirt and leaving it hanging on one of the chairs, surrounding your smaller frame with his arms. “I missed you so much, dear.” You tried your hardest to pretend not to notice, but of course you did, fuck, his groin was rubbing against your ass, and even then, it was clear that he was quite… gifted, down there. Still, you simply tightened the grip on the knife, biting your lips as you kept trying to focus on the food you were cooking.

Ever since that moment, you were no longer able to control yourself, always orbiting around him with your hand tightly wrapped around his arm every single time any other persons started to look way too affectionately at him. Scarlatella quickly noticed this, looking completely pleased with how he had been able to fix your precious little brain into a loving wife. In fact, he even started to pamper you even further, kissing your forehead every morning, asking you to let him shower together… Of course, you said yes.

So then, the two of you entered the bathroom, slowly undressing each other as the water started to warm up. “Love, you look so nice like this… All naked for me… I could just eat you up.” His hand drifted around your body, making your body shiver under his hands, and even if you were about to kiss him, he got away, extending his hand so he could help you get inside the bathtub. “Let me help you, dear.”

As the two of you finally entered the bathtub, he calmly traced your body with the sponge, making sure to scrub your skin without causing any type of harm. Then, he moved to your hair, taking the bottle of shampoo and scrubbing it while he hummed a little tune. Then, he focused on himself, redoing everything he had done to you. As he did that, your naked bodies kept pressing against each other, making you squirm at the slightest touch and forcing you to let small whimpers out every time you felt his lower half rub against your back. Finally, Scarlatella lost his composure as you kept pressing against him on purpose. “Dear… I have a feeling that you’ve been quite, eager to make our relationship more physical, am I right?” His eyes were now fixated on your face, making you feel even more flustered as you avoided his gaze. “Oh sweetheart, if you wanted that, I could have given it to you any time, after all, I do believe it is time we get to expand our little family.” And despite you would have normally shivered in disgust, this idea now started to charm you. So you nodded, accepting whatever he wanted you to do at that point. “Then we should get to business, let me get you ready love.” With that said, Scarlatella finally kissing your lips, his tongue entering your oral cavity as if he had been starving for a long time. “You taste so good… I could stay like this forever.” Scarlatella kept kissing you, his hands starting to glide towards your chest, starting to play with your nipples as his tongue kept exploring your mouth. “Dear… I think we should move to our bedroom; I don’t want your first time to hurt.”

“Oh, that’s fine, not like it’s my first time, you know, I did it a few times before you became my-.” Before you were able to finish your sentence, Scarlatella was already getting the two of you out of the bath, lifting you up and carrying you over to the bedroom he had been preparing for quite some time. Despite his gaze looked a bit crazed out, he let you down softly on the bed.

“It seems I was a bit too gentle with you, that was my fault. I suppose you must prefer someone meaner, treat you as if you were a little fuck toy, I suppose your brain is still not that adapted to having a husband, that’s ok, I will fix it.” With nothing left to say to you, he got on top of you, towering over your smaller body as he started to kiss your neck. “I just wish I could have arrived earlier… Get to be your first, let you make me yours…It’s a shame we had to meet under those circumstances.”  And even regardless his almost apologising words, his actions were crude, clearly showing his uncontrollable desire to make you completely his. “… I should definitely get you pregnant, make sure everyone knows who your husband is, let’s see if any other fucker tries to get with my sweet wife.” As he kept mumbling to himself, his lips started to make a trail towards your chest, moving even further down as your moans got louder. Suddenly, he got away from you for a second, taking something from the small nightstand. Still quiet, he opened the small bottle, letting the sticky liquid help him prepare your pussy for him. “Not like you will need it, apparently you were more prepared than me.”

“Come on, it’s not like we are… fuck, I don’t know, it’s just, it’s not like you are a virgin, right? There’s no need for---”

“I am.” His hands stopped for a second, his fingers a few inches away from entering you. “I’ve been investigating so I could make it as comfortable for you as possible, but that’s ok, I will make sure our next time is perfect… Let’s just use this time for letting you know how this works.” Without further due, Scarlatella started to tease your entrance, rubbing his fingertips against your entrance, while his other hand started to move towards your weak spot, starting to tease your clit as he kept kissing your neck. As the minutes went on, you started to notice a weird warmth inside your cunt, making your tears swell up in your eyes as Scarlatella kept teasing you.

“Stop— Can’t—It feels weird, like really weird, it’s not normal!” Scarlatella smiled wickedly, his eyes darkening as he saw how your pussy kept releasing your sticky fluids, with no shame, he got his face closer, starting to leave kitty licks over your clit before he began to fuck your entrance with his tongue, making you cry due to the overstimulation as he kept stopping just before you could release. This torture kept going for a couple minutes, making you clench the sheets, biting your lips as you kept mumbling barely understandable words: “Please, please… Just—Please! Fuck, please, let me cum, please, please…” Your words kept slurring, making him smile at the beautiful portrait he had been able to turn your gorgeous face into, he caressed your face with one of his hands, his lips still curved into an amused look as your face had become a mixture of snot, tears, and saliva. Suddenly, you felt Scarlatella’s arms wrap around you, lifting you from the bed and letting you lay on his lap, his unclothed erection rubbing against your clit, rocking your body back and forth as he kept taunting you.

“I just can’t believe you preferred some random person over me, love. I’ve waiting for you my whole life, I even learnt all this… tricks to get you to feel as good as possible.” All of sudden, his tip went in, barely letting you get ready as he kept pushing it inside and out, making your eyes water as he kept tormenting you for a few minutes more, his gaze becoming more and more obscure as his erection just kept growing. “Fuck, whatever… I’ll just have to prove you that nobody will ever fuck you like I can, get you pregnant so you can only see me… love me…” His eyes lightened for a second just from the thought, and before you even noticed, your back was once again pressed against the mattress, with Scarlatella towering over you as he was finally able to gradually introduce his whole length, the stretch making you whine and cling to his back. “You feel so good around me, love… Just wait, I’ll fill you up, fill your pretty pussy with my cum so nobody ever tries to get too close to you—You’ll look so pretty with your tummy all round—” As Scarlatella’s hips started to punish your sore cunt, you were finally able to cum, eyes rolling to the back of your head as your legs locked around him, as a poor attempt on getting him to stop for a second.

“Wait—Too soon, I can’t get pregnant yet!” You pushed a bit against his lower abdomen, your hands barely stopping him as they kept shaking because of the constant orgasms that just kept pilling up, forcing your brain to become more and more fuzzy each time. It was then that Scarlatella wrapped his own hands around your waists, using them as mere handles for him to push the tip of his cock just a bit further, just enough for you to cum once more with a pathetic whine. Despite you had already cum all over him, Scarlatella’s thrusts didn’t slow down, if not growing stronger as his mind was already too far gone.

“Gotta get you pregnant—That’s all I need—Fill your pretty pussy with my cock and get you to- Fuck- cream all over my cock, that’s it baby… Cum all over your husband, make a mess on my cock, you’re doing so good love…” His words kept resonating in your mind, almost as if it was some kind of chant, and despite you tried your best to endure it, your brain gave up, after all, Scarlatella had been taking care of you so nicely… It wouldn’t hurt to let him keep doing it for the rest of his life… right? As Scarlatella kept muttering to himself, his cock was already twitching, signifying just how close he was to releasing his essence inside of you. With your mind now completely broken, you smiled, your arms and legs tightening around his waist as his cock kept hammering against your cervix, one of his hands carefully pressing against the lower half of your abdomen, causing the pleasure to just build up even further as he finally released his load inside of you, his constant groans now turning into soft praises and kisses. “You did so good, love… Let me take care of everything from now on, I will make you the happiest wife ever, no need to think about anything, just promise to tell me everything you need or want, yeah? I’ll be the best husband int the world.” His hands kept petting your hair as his cock started to deflate inside you, still remaining inside as he refused to pull out in case some of his essence spilled out. “Let’s wait a bit, love. I will prepare the bath in few minutes; I just want to make sure everything goes correctly.” He peppered a few kisses all over your face, his hand rubbing your tummy as he kept imagining that near future he had been longing for.

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

one step closer

cw. f!reader (no pronouns or specified anatomy), pre-canon, pre-relationship, childhood friends, slightly(?) obsessive behaviors, slight angst

pairing. tartaglia x reader

synopsis. your mothers always swore one of their children would marry one day, making them both officially sisters. but for now, they'll take ajax escorting you from mondstadt to sumeru to pursue your education

notes. a christmas present for my good buddy @hash-slinging-slasher-trash. an unexpected comradery was built up between us both this year, so let's have fun in the new year! they recently got into genshin this year and, unsurprisingly, they've been bagged by mr. 11th fatui harbinger himself hehehe

"You didn't have to come all the way here for this."

"And break my promise to my beloved aunt? Perish the thought!" Ajax gasps aghast, clutching his invisible pearls. "Besides, why would I miss a road trip with my future wife? The two of us. Alone." Playful blue eyes glance your way accompanied by an equally playful smile. You give him a pointed look and Ajax raises a hand defensively. The red insignia pinned to his shirt glints in the sunlight at the movement. "I kid, I kid. Just a joke. We can save that stuff later."

"Or never," you reply without missing a beat.

"I draw the line at waiting until after our wedding night."

"You're incorrigible," you groan.

Ajax can only laugh, eyes closed and grin wide. When he's like this, he's like the Ajax you remember from when you were children. The boy who unabashedly declared he'd marry you in one of your earliest memories. Your mothers were only too happy to indulge him, long since having their own jokes about how one day their children would marry and make them officially sisters.

That had been how many years ago now?

Too long ago to recall. You simply know it had been the first time Ajax's family had come to visit your own in Mondstadt. It became a yearly tradition from before either of you were born for your families to visit one another.

According to your mothers, they became friends your mother's first trip to Snezhnaya. You'd been raised on a healthy diet of your mother's travels, your mother telling them to you much like they were old folktales. She told you about the various shades of the thunder sakura of Inazuma. How she spelunked in Natlan with a few friends you can't remember the name of. Even regaled you with dramatic stories of Fontaine's Opera Epiclese where she witnessed trial and opera alike and what she swears was a love story bubbling under the surface between the Hydro Archon and her Iudex.

All of those stories paled in comparison to her most harrowing tale of surviving a month long blizzard that ended with less importantly, your father, and more importantly, your mother's now lifelong friend.

That was all took for their future families to be intertwined and for Ajax to be a present as constant in your as the bards of your homeland.

A summer in Mondstadt here, a winter in Snezhnaya there.

A Ludi Harpastum there, a Krsnik Noc here.

You distinctly remember Kaeya's first Windblume Festival after the Ragnvindr's took him in. He was more quiet and would cling to the figures he found most familiar, you included. Ajax hated it. Unfortunately his complaints and intense nature only led to your coddling Kaeya more, scolding the ginger for being insensitive. Presently, Kaeya and Ajax's relationship has improved little.

Ajax has been there for many a life event.

Now here Ajax is, your official escort on the first day of your own journey. It was the only way your mother would relax about your finally leaving the nest. You find it absurd your mother could travel the whole of Teyvat with nothing but a knapsack slung over her shoulders and a pack of cigarettes but Celestia forbid you decide to do the same. It isn't even exactly the same!

At Ajax's insistence, your things were already waiting for you in Sumeru. "My men can take it ahead," he boasted proudly, reminding you of his recent promotion. "It's no problem at all, honest. Save your money!" Your protests were promptly ignored, your mother more than happy to save on the mora she would have had to spend mailing it otherwise.

"Ajax, I'm serious," you remind him for the millionth time as the Dawn Winery slowly but surely grows more and more distant. Even with Diluc and Kaeya's strained relationship, they both insisted on having a celebratory breakfast before early in the morning before you left for Liyue. You wanted your quest to be on foot as much as possible before boarding a boat that would take you from Liyue Harbor to Port Ormos. "I don't want you guys in uniform when you move my things in. I don't want to be known as the Fatui girl at the dorms."

"Relax, relax," his words due to little to soothe you. "Seriously," his tone shifts from impish to straight-laced. "I know better than anyone how the Fatui is viewed abroad. I know you worked hard to get into the Akademiya, so I don't want to ruin that for you."

You hold each other's gaze for a moment longer before you sigh in relief. "Thank you." Another beat passes before you say it again, "seriously, thank you. You didn't have to take time off to come all the way to Mondstadt. And it means a lot to Mom too. You being here helped her calm down a lot."

His lips relax into a smile that's small, "of course I'd be here for something like this. It's a big deal! You've wanted to go to the Akademiya since we were kids. Is Erna going to be there or is she still in Fontaine researching water vein flowers or whatever?"

You nod excitedly, "yeah, she said she wants to show me around when I get there. She's gonna meet us at Port Ormos." Another piece of the puzzle in helping your mother acclimate to your studying in another country. "She's only staying for the week though."

Erna, a cousin of yours had gotten in years ago leaving little Springvale behind to see the world beyond the wind-caressed hills you grew up. Busy as she'd become after getting into the Amurta Darshan, when she was able to come home it was her turn to tell you stories about a world you couldn't imagine for yourself.

The fanciful cafes with their majestic fountains, the smell of spices of a place called Treasures street. It's hard to believe you'll finally be seeing it for yourself after so long.

"Think she'll be happy to see me?" Ajax asks suddenly, observing you carefully as you

Your cheeks hurt as your smile becomes something forced. "Well," begin.

Ajax barks out a laugh immediately, "you don't have to lie, I know she's not happy I'm in the Fatui." He sighs as the last of his laughter leaves him, nonchalant and unsurprised. You wonder, not for the first time, what would be enough to make Ajax the young man shocked or hurt. Considering how you heard his enlisting in the Fatui at the young age of 14 had gone, you doubt anyone's reaction to his being an agent can get under his skin. "Not that Auntie is thrilled either. I suppose these are the struggles of those in the pursuit of strength."

You refrain from affirming his suspicions. Your mother isn't thrilled but she refrained from expressing the opinion knowing she had little to stand on when her former husband had been a Fatui agent once upon a time. "If that boy's own father couldn't keep him from enlisting, I doubt anything I say will make him change his mind." The next time you saw your old friend after his enlisting, he surprised you for a visit when work led him to the land of freedom.

For the second time in the past ten minutes, your eyes look at his the red insignia pinned on his shirt. He's a lieutenant now.

He's moved up the ranks faster than you can blink. It's expected, you believe, with how many of his letters recounting his many assignments and achievements he'd sent.

"Staring at your beloved so shamelessly?" Cheeks warm, you push him aside. The movement does little to make him budge and he laughs when you try again. "Sorry, snookums, that's not going to work on me anymore. Don't let my acknowledgment stop you. Stare away! I'm pretty popular, y'know. Someone'll steal me off the market if you're not careful! We should have the wedding the moment we get to Sumeru! Why wait actually, we should turn back now and head to the Church!"

Your eyes roll into the depths of the Abyss, "we're not going back to the City for a wedding. We're not even dating."

"Yet."

"And I wasn't staring at you," you ignore his jest. "I was just looking at your badge. You have a new one every time I see you." A new insignia with a new scar or two or dozen to match. He has a story for each one, remembering every occasion he's earned a battle scar with crystal clear memory.

You remember how he's the same boy whose father would take the both of you ice fishing, telling you stories of heroes. Stories of his own adventures before he settled down to have a family. You never had the patience for fishing but you loved that man's tales.

The hobby has lost its magic since your friend became a soldier for the Cryo Archon. Ice fishing is simply another form in which he trains, reflecting on battles past as he endures the bitter cold. Now there are no more stories.

Ajax gestures at your the chain around your neck where your Anemo vision hangs with pride. "It's a badge of honor, much like the one you have yourself."

It's not quite the same, you want to say. "We're already almost to Liyue," you announce instead, pointing at the small bridge in the distance. "It's hard to believe it's always been so close to the Winery." You remember how it was a test of courage when you were younger. Diluc leading the charge, he dared the rest of you to see who could walk the furthest into Liyue. He'd always been the winner, you, Jean, Kaeya and Barbara unable to match Diluc's bravery.

He's a far cry from the rambunctious troublemaker he used to be.

"One step closer," Ajax notes warmly, accepting your change in topics with ease. "There's a tea shop at the Stone Gate you'll like called Pop's Teas. We should sit there a while, you can see the whole of the Dihua Marsh and the inn we'll be staying at."

That brings a genuine smile to your face, "I look forward to seeing it."

A thinly veiled comfort of silence falls over you both grass and gravel crunch underfoot. Your hands swing between you both and from the corner of your eye, you see blue peering at you. The back of your hand burns and you ignore the feeling swiftly.

It's Ajax, simply Ajax.

Soon enough after you arrive in Sumeru, you'd be going your separate paths again. You studying the stars, him on whatever harrowing assignment he is given. A far, far cry from the children you once were.

"They're going to make me a Harbinger."

The silence shatters much like ice and you blink, blood suddenly as cold as the waters of your friend's home country. "What?"

He says it as casually as one addressing the state of the weather. You halt your steps right at the edge of the bridge that connects the land between Mondstadt and Liyue, staring at Ajax's back. "This isn't ambition talking either," he halts, chuckling as he turns to face you. "It's official. Once I go back to the motherland, there'll be a ceremony and everything. You're the first I've told."

"A Harbinger," you repeat incredulously. "A Harbinger?"

The young man nods, "the youngest in the history of the Fatui." It's said with subdued pride, only a dash of satisfaction. "Of course, this was all part of the plan to conquering this world so it's not that big a deal. I'm just one step closer."

You open your mouth only to close and open it again. Your hands clasp together, fingers fidgeting as you search for the correct words to say. Congratulations? Wow, you really will be wearing another badge the next time I see you. You're really moving up the ranks!

"Not happy for me," it isn't a question as Ajax observes your furrowed brows and hunched shoulders. You lower your head, finding a nearby cryo slime bouncing on the water's edge grounding. "It's alright, you don't have to be. It doesn't change anything between us."

"When is it going to be enough, Ajax?" Your question is quiet. "What happened to you?"

'Ajax went missing for three days this month. He had the entire household in a tizzy, that boy of mine!'

You remember receiving that letter after you recently turned 15 from Ajax's mother.

Ajax has wrote you religiously since he could hold a pen. That was the one month he didn't.

The letters that followed have never quite been the same. He's never been quite the same. His eyes are duller than you remember. His lust for adventure had turned bloodthirsty.

How could someone change so much in three days?

"This has always been me," Ajax tells you without much else of a reaction. "You know me, I've always wanted to go on an adventure."

"An adventure, yes, but never this," you shoot back, fervently. Back then, Ajax happily brandished a wooden sword and would declare he'd be the world's greatest adventurer. He'd join the Adventurer's Guild and make a name for himself, fight a dragon and give you all the mora he gained. "I just," you pinch your sinuses.

The only sounds between you are ones from nature.

The croak of a frog, the gushing of a waterfall.

Ajax breaks the silence, head on as he always has been. "We're still friends, aren't we?"

You look up at the man, looking at you with eyes a mixture of familiar and unknown. You used to be able to read them as easily as breathing. Sometimes you feel as if you still can. That he's still your Ajax, face round with innocence and wonder. Now he is as mysterious as the heavens themselves.

Still you release a breath and nod, "of course we are. You're still Ajax."

A smile spreads across his face again and he looks familiar again. "Yeah," with that sorted holds his hand out for you much like a knight. He always said he'd be yours, you recall as you accept his offer like you're children again. "I'm still me."

[doudouneverte]

Too much love

a/n: I think it will be our little meeting of the year now. Merry Christmas for the one who celebrate it, and good day for the others and happy birthday for me...

*not my GIF*

Pairing : Karólína Lea Vilhjálmsdóttir x DENWNT!R; Pernille Harder x cousin!Reader; Bayern München Frauen x reader

Summary : the match between Bayer Leverkusen and Bayern Munich with a little surprise at the end

Type: fluff

Warning: none

word count : 1534

------

"She looks like a painting." Linda and Magda already had enough, and it's been only 20 minutes since the match began. You were sitting between focus on the game, or more precisely on a player, your girlfriend.

The two older Swedish players looked at each other for a moment, trying to see which one of them would get annoyed first.

"I mean, have you seen how she dribbles with the ball?" You resumed your praise, which gained a reaction this time.

"Y/n, you can't praise the other team like that." Julia said, and everyone on the bench agreed, except Linda and Magda, who decided to ignore you until the end of the game to keep their sanity.

"I agree with Julia on this one, Y/n, even if it's your girlfriend. For now you're playing for opposite teams. I'm pretty sure you'll have a lot of time to praise her when you're both alone." Sydney told you this time.

"Oh, I'm sure she will." Linda said just loud enough to be heard by you and Magda, making the defender crack a smile.

"You're just jealous because your girlfriend doesn't play here." You told Linda, and she responded with an offended look. Magda on the other side was closer to bursting in laughter but still kept her serious face.

"You have a big mouth for someone who can't clear a ball on a corner." The defender said, which caused a gasp from you and some other people on the bench.

Your two other Swedish teammates decided not to interfere knowing how something like that could quickly get out of control.

"I need to remind you that if I can't jump on the corner, it's because I have to make the course that you're not quick enough to do." Another wave of gaps could be heard, but this time it was coupled with Magda's laughs.

"Okay guys, stop. I think you broke Magda." Sydney said while the all bench was trying to not follow the defender and laughed.

You didn't even have time to say anything before you were on warm-up with Alara. During your warm-up, a ball escaped on the limits of the pitch and rolled to your feet. You decided to give it back, not really knowing which team gained a throw-in until you were facing a familiar face.

Karo was in front of you with some sweat on her face due to her efforts, but it didn't make her less beautiful. It was the opposite; the little pearl of sweat made her face shine a little more.

You wanted to say something, but suddenly you felt Alara take the ball from your hand and give it back to the Leverkusen player.

"Are you okay, Y/n?" The younger player asked you.

You finally seemed to come back to your senses and just nodded at her before ending your warm-up and coming back on the bench.

On your way there you saw the face of your teammates and already knew the few minutes before the halftime would be spend by teasing you. And it started immediately when you sat back between Magda and Linda.

"Oh, look at our little bunny having a complete brain freeze after seeing her girlfriend. Isn't she cute?" Linda mocked you, and the whole bench burst out laughing.

You hoped that somehow the earth could somehow open at your feet to let you hide forever.

"I'm pretty sure the ref was about to give you a yellow card for time wasting." Linda Dallman added, which caused you to be even more ashamed.

And the teasing continued until halftime. When both teams got back out on the pitch, you exchanged a glance with Karo; just this little action was enough to make you smile.

"Can you be focused on something that's not your girlfriend only for a minute?" Mala asked you while she was dragging you to the locker room.

During the pause the coach gave you a lecture about the game and insisted on coming back on the scoring board. After announcing that you would be sub on for the next half, he let you prepare yourself mentally. Things that you did pretty well before someone sat next to you.

"Remember, you're playing for us now, Y/n. I don't want to see you pass the ball to Karo, okay?" Glodís told you while she gave you a side hug.

"Why does everybody think that I can't play against my girlfriend? I'm totally professional, and I can play against anyone." You defended yourself.

"You literally froze in front of her a few minutes ago." Someone shouted from the other side of the room. Hearing everyone laugh made you even more ashamed, but you decided to not respond to that.

"It's okay, little one; I'm pretty sure you'll do a good job out there." Magda told you before you had to come back on the pitch.

Coming back as a defender forced you to defend on your girlfriend, something that your whole team found judging by the look on her face when you realised who you were replacing.

After the beginning of the second half you were already facing Karolina again. But she didn't have the ball yet so your whole job was just following her on the side.

"Are you tired?" You asked your girlfriend, and she gave you a confused look before understanding the question.

"Uh, no, why?" She replied a little confused.

"Well, you know you spend so much time running to my dream last night; you should be a little tired." This sentence earned a little laugh from the Icelandic player, but this moment was cut short when you saw your teammates taking back the ball.

A good run and an assist later, Bayern was back on the scoring board with an equaliser.

"That was mean of you." Your girlfriend told you while you were on your way back to your position.

You turned and looked at her fake angry face and decided to stick out your tongue at her.

And the rest of the game went like that. You would flirt with her for a few seconds before an offensive.

At the final whistle and after a big goal from Alara, Bayern won 2-3. Of course, all the team was jumping around and screaming everywhere. It was an important win after all.

While your team was celebrating, you escaped a little to find your girlfriend, who was with her teammates.

"Oh, look at who's there. You're really inseparable; that's crazy." Emily told you when you approached her.

"I just came to check on everyone; I mean, you're still my friend too." You gave a tight hug and congratulated all the opposite team as well. Then came Karolina.

She was sitting on the bench alone, and you sat next to her. She looked at you, then at her team, who were giving her the thumbs up.

"I know it sounds like I'm lying, but I'm really sorry that you didn't win today." You said.

"Please don't say that; it's worse." Your girlfriend replied. "But I think I have to actually congratulate you. You finally started to make a place on the team."

You leaned your head on her shoulder and smiled. "yeah, I mean we both worked hard for that, and I'm still waiting for your comeback. I'm not really at my full potential when I'm not playing with you."

"Stop that bullshit; even Magda was more convincing when she wanted me to join Chelsea." Pernille said out of nowhere.

"What are you doing here?" You asked her.

"I wanted to know what you were doing because I couldn't see you after the game." The Danish player stopped for a moment and looked at Karolina next to you. "So, you're the girlfriend, right?" The Icelandic player nodded.

"Pernille, this is Karolina, my girlfriend. Karolina, this is Pernille my cousin." You introduced both of them.

"Your what?" Karo asked you with a shocking face.

"Don't need to say what you already know, but I can do anything to protect my cousin and her feelings, and if I learn that you played with her feelings, things are going to get ugly." Your cousin stared at your girlfriend with a menacing face.

"Oh, you're here." Magda said, coming back from the locker room. "The team was searching for you." She grabbed Pernille's arm and started to drag her back with the team. "Y/n, I think you also have to come. And see you soon, Karolina." Magda waved before leaving. But even out you could hear Pernille scream at her fiancée.

"I think my time has come, but I will call you tonight." You kissed a still shocked Karolina on her lips before leaving.

A few minutes later, Emily was talking with Cornelia while a livid Karolina approached them.

"Did you know that Pernille and Y/n are cousins?" The Icelandic asked her teammates. The both of them looked at her with the same surprised face.

"Who is her cousin?" They both yelled.

"I hope you lived a great life because now you have a huge sword of Damocles up on your head." Emily told her.

Cornelia just landed her hand on her shoulder and gave her a sympathetic look before saying, "Good luck."

[zepskies]

Aww I love that for you!! (I would so be joining him on that LOTR rewatch--extended edition 🤣) Merry Christmas, my lovely Wayne!! 💕💕 Thanks for treating me with yet another Christmas gift. 🥹

Jesus's birthday! We're jumping right into this, and a bullet flying past your head while you're bloody and running through the woods is horrifying 😳 Hoping the boys are close 🤍

Oh yeah, we're diving STRAIGHT into the action on this part. That's your worst nightmare 2X right? 😅😅

She's such a badass! Russell would be so proud of her 🥹

LOLL first of all, your Joey gif had me deaddd. She's def learned a thing or two on self-defense from Charlie, and I too think if Russell saw her he'd be really proud. 🥹

I snorted so hard 😂😂 Such an accurate Colter moment again 🤍 I loved their little bonding/teasing moment while searching too 🥹

Ahahaha I love his dry sarcasm (very much like mine). 😂 I felt like we needed that broment of levity before all the heavy action! 💜

She is so damn cute 😆💕 I'm glad it all worked out and both Charlie and her are okay. Colter watching them with his little secret smile was so adorable too. My heart is full 😭🥹❤️

Aww I'm so glad you like her nerdy heart like I do. 🥹🥹 It all worked out in the end, thanks to the Shaw bros! And I loved giving her and Russell that moment with Colter's "secret smile," him ultimately knowing where this is going and giving them their romcom beat loll.

Damn Charlie... Love yourself a little more, buddy 😅❤️‍🩹

Poor guy loll. His self-esteem has taken a beating. 🥲❤️‍🩹 I had this scene from The Hitman's Bodyguard in my head. 🤣🤣

The Ken doll... I fucking can't with you today 🤣🤣 (The rum might also be kicking in lmao)

Lmaooo I'm honestly so glad someone thinks I'm funny, even if it's due to the rum. 😂🥃

Finally! I genuinely love how long it took him to catch on 😂 Loved this part! I'm glad Charlie's getting some help and these two finally decided to take the plunge ☺️ Can't wait to see what happens in the last part. I know they still have some things to figure out, but I can't imagine Russell wouldn't be willing to work on some sort of agreement 💚

LOLL He got there eventually. 😏

Aww thank you so much, hun! I thought Charlie deserved a proper second chance to turn his life around. 💜

Part 5 is where the rest of the magic happens between these two, now that they more or less have an understanding. 😘 Hopping over to your lovely comments on the finale next!!! 💕💕

Every Second Counts - Part 4

Pairing: Russell Shaw x F. Reader

Summary: One date with your best friend’s brother leaves you wanting more, even though his questionable job and vagabond lifestyle make you want to guard your heart. When your brother falls into trouble, however, Russell is the one you trust to help you find him. 

AN: No cliffhangers this time, I promise. 😘

Word Count: 4K

Tags/Warnings: Perilous situations, blood and violence, some more protective Russell, angst, hurt/comfort, and fluff.~

💜 Series Masterlist

Part 4: “Mountain Man”

You were running for your life. 

Blood dripped down into your line of vision, but you swept it away from your face with a haphazard hand, along with your tears as you nearly stumbled on the path. 

A gunshot rang in your ears and hit a tree instead of your head.

Shit! You screamed and ducked, but you kept running…

After you tumbled down the hill, it was a small mercy that you didn’t break any bones when you eventually landed at the bottom. You’d stared up at the sky, winded, your back aching. Until you noticed Rick, one of Eddie’s men. He was sliding down the hill after you. 

You didn’t know what happened to your brother after he attempted to push you out of harm’s way. That thought alone gripped your heart like a vice, but you knew you couldn’t stay here on the ground either. 

You forced your body to move, whimpering at the pain and stiffness. Shakily you pushed onto your feet and slipped on dead leaves as you went. You moved your legs faster, until you were able to take off running deeper into the forest.

You gasped when your foot caught on a large rock. It sent you crashing into the ground. With your hands still bound, it made pushing yourself back up that much more difficult.

You spat out a couple of leaves. Fuck…

When Rick caught up to you, fear made you jolt into action. You wrapped your gathered hands around the rock that felled you and tossed it at him with all the strength you had. He blocked the projectile with the same hand that held his gun, like an idiot. You really couldn’t be blamed when the gun went off in his face.

He screamed, and so did you on reflex. Though his cheek and brow had been grazed by the bullet, he was lucky he still had both eyes. He blinked a bit of blood out of his left one. You scrambled back onto your feet and meant to keep running, but Rick still managed to surge forward and get a hold of your hair. 

Uttering a short scream, you grabbed his shirt and kneed him as hard as you could between the legs. You hoped you crushed his dick and balls.

“Oh, f—” He went down to the ground, sinking onto his knees as he dropped his gun. He glared up at you. “You little bitch!” 

You were panting for breath, but you didn’t wait for him to recover and grab his weapon again. 

You ran. 

You ran, even though you had no idea where you were going. You just knew that you couldn’t stay in one place. But if you couldn’t find your way around a college campus, how the hell were you supposed to navigate the damn Medicine Bow National Forest?

Along with your desperation and fear, tears kept filling your eyes whenever you thought of Charlie. 

Please, please, please…

“Goddamn, they could be anywhere,” Russell groused, as he and Colter hiked through the forest. He was, admittedly, breathing a bit harder from the trek uphill. “It’s been hours already.”

“It’s barely been an hour,” Colter reminded him. And he didn’t look winded in the least.

Bastard. Russell glanced at him, but then he focused on the horizon. The sun was finally starting to come up, which was good for them. They could see the trails more clearly.

“Remember when Dad used to make us free-climb the cliffs in Sierra?” Russell asked.

“Yeah,” Colter said. “You used to beat me every time. Wonder what happened to that guy.”

His tone was teasing. Russell shot him a look, half annoyed, and half amused.

“Yeah, well, he turned 40,” Russell replied.

Colter smiled, but both of them paused when they heard a gunshot ring out, followed by two more.

“That was close,” he said.

“Yeah,” Russell agreed, drawing his own gun. Colter did the same, and they hurried up a roaming hill that had Russell briefly peering over the side. In his mind’s eye, he had to shutter away the memory of seeing a body flung over the side in the dark and the rain. Then him looking over the edge of that cliff and recognizing his father’s twisted body.

And Colter, shouting up at him with angry, tearful, accusing eyes.

A male groan broke Russell out of his thoughts as he and his brother came up on a grim scene. Two men laid dead, and another young man with dark hair was lying prone on the ground, clutching his wounded leg. He’d been shot, though a gun also was held tightly in his own hand. He aimed it at the newcomers.

“Charlie?” Colter asked. He recognized the other man from your family photos.

Charlie blinked up at him in surprise, but not without a grim set to his jaw.

“Who the hell are you?” he asked.

Russell let out a subtle breath. Colter was relieved as well.

“I’m Colter. This is my brother, Russell,” he said. “Your sister asked for our help to find you.”

Charlie’s eyes widened. All of them slowly lowered their weapons. Russell gestured at the bodies lying yards away from him.

“I’m guessing one of those guys is Eddie Mendez?” he said.

Charlie nodded, gesturing at the man closest to him with his gun. He groaned at the agony in his right thigh. Colter quickly went to his side and began to wrap a tourniquet around his leg to stem the bleeding.

“Did the bullet go through?” Colter asked.

“I think so,” Charlie replied.

“Where’s your sister?” Russell asked, his impatience evident in his stance and the way he held his gun while scanning his surroundings. His frown deepened when he didn’t see you.

“Oh, fuck!” Charlie said, and not at the pain of Colter wrapping his leg. His eyes were wide with panic. “Rick’s after her. I clipped him, but he slipped by me.”

“Where?” Russell asked. Charlie pointed down the side of the hill.

“Down there. Headed north I think, but I’m not sure,” he said quickly. “Help her, please!”

Russell didn’t need any encouragement. He started down the hill first. 

After making sure Charlie was stable for now, Colter followed after his brother a few minutes later. 

Russell called your name as he searched through the dense trees. Sunlight was beginning to filter through their leaves in dappled color on the trail. It gave him a better view ahead.

He stopped short when he saw a splatter of blood on the ground, painting the dirt and some dead leaves. A well of unease rose in his gut.

He headed toward the sound of running water, and he soon found another cliff. Just beyond it was a waterfall, and river below. Seeing no signs of life, he pulled back and continued to call your name, and all the while, pushing down his worry.

“Russell?!”

He turned sharply to see you coming out of your hiding place—a large fallen tree. A smile started to raise his lips, but no sooner had he taken one step in your direction, when he almost got a bullet in his head for his trouble. 

“Watch out!” you yelled. Rick came out into the clearing and aimed at you next. 

“Get down!” Russell shouted. 

Without blinking, he shot Rick three times: once in the shoulder, twice in the chest. 

The man went down. He was dead before he even met the ground. 

It was then that Colter finally caught up. Russell nodded at him, but his focus was on heading for the fallen tree after he stowed his gun.

The moment he took a step over it, you popped up with a yell, ready to smack him with a tree branch. He leaned back raised up his hands in defense. 

“Whoa, hey, it’s okay! It’s just me, slugger,” he said with a grin. 

You let out a sharp sigh of relief. The branch fell from your loose fingers. As you caught your breath, your mouth trembled, and your eyes filled with tears at the sight of him. 

Russell softened. He reached for you.

“Come ‘ere,” he said. Your hands slipped into his, and he helped you over the trunk of the tree. After using his handy pocketknife to cut through the zip ties binding your wrists together, you landed right into his waiting embrace. There, you spilled hot tears into his bulletproof vest. 

“It’s okay, sweetheart. I’ve gotcha,” he said. His voice was low and soothing. “You’re okay.”

You raised your head with a desperate question in your eyes.

“Charlie?” you asked.

“Charlie’s okay too,” Russell assured. His hand soothed over your tangled hair and down your back. He could feel you trembling as you rested against him and sobbed. He held you tight, safe, as he rocked you a little from side to side. His own relief was a weight off his chest. 

Colter stood by and watched with a secret smile. 

With his bare hands clawing into damp soil, Colter dug up the crate Charlie buried near the base of the waterfall. True to his word, it was filled with precious artifacts. 

“Just, please be careful,” you warned him again over his shoulder. “These are quite literally hundreds of years old.”

Before Colter could assure you, again, that he’d be careful, you actually set a hand on his shoulder and implored him to move back.

“Matter of fact, sorry, let me do this part,” you said. “I’m the only one who’s really trained to handle these. Plus, your hands are dirty.”

Colter raised a brow, but he obliged you. He glanced over at his brother. Russell just watched in amusement while you opened the crate. 

You wished you had gloves on for this, but you supposed it couldn’t be helped. You stopped just shy of touching them—a bow and arrow, three spears, and a couple of knives. Each were crafted with wood and bone, with designs carved and accented in faded red and blue.

“Wow,” you whispered. Your historian heart was singing right now. 

You made sure each artifact was intact and hadn’t sustained water damage, then you covered them back up with the lid to the crate. 

“Okay, now you can take it, thank you. This thing is heavy,” you said, with a pat on Colter’s shoulder. 

His lips played at a smile, but he accepted the responsibility of carrying the crate.

Russell rested a hand on the small of your back to subtly help you back up the hill. You couldn’t help walking closer with him, your arm brushing against his side. You glanced up at him with a smile. He matched you, then looked up ahead. 

Charlie was waiting for you all while leaning against a tree. He still looked like utter hell—cut up, bruised, bloody, and now shot in the leg. You went to his side and gently grabbed his arm. 

“God, Charlie. You sure you’re okay?” you asked. He curled an arm around your shoulders and flashed you a familiar grin. 

“Oh, yeah. I’m like a cockroach. Just keep coming back,” he said.

You had to agree with that, laughing through the spark of your tears. Russell came on his other side and shouldered most of your brother's weight off his bad leg. 

“Okay, here we go. One step at a time,” Russell said.

Slowly, painfully, Charlie managed to make it back to Colter’s truck with you and Russell supporting him. Colter brought up the rear with the artifacts in tow. 

And behind you all, the sun broke more fully across the dewy trees in a morning swathed with orange and gold.

After Colter drove you and Charlie to the hospital, he and Russell took off again soon after to do something with the three bodies hidden under a tarp in the bed of the pickup truck. The thought made you shudder, along with the fact that the Shaw brothers knew how to hide bodies.

But you supposed it was better than the alternative.

As it was, you, Colter, and Charlie had to lie to the hospital staff about how you both had earned your injuries—in a brutal mugging, where Colter was able to scare off the men that got the jump on you and Charlie.

"I never saw their faces," as he'd later told the police, while the nurses prepped him for surgery. "I just tried to protect my sister the best I could."

You backed him up on the story, even as the lie felt bitter on your tongue and made you nervous (especially when you thought of poor Dr. Feinman).

Despite that little break-in at the museum yesterday, you'd never been good at being a rule breaker. Fortunately, Colter's calmness when he gave his corroborating statement helped you. Like Russell, he was a solid, anchoring presence...if in a different way.

For the crate of relics, Colter advised Charlie to ship them back to the museum anonymously. It would be the easiest way to encourage the police to lose steam on looking for who took them in the first place. You and your brother begrudgingly agreed, even if you had a secret thought of sending the artifacts to the NMAI. Maybe you could convince Charlie to send them there instead, or to one of the local Native American tribes here in Wyoming.

Hours later, however, you were able to finally be with your brother when he came out of surgery. In that time, your own bruises and the cut above your brow had been tended to in the Emergency Department. Now, you sat by his bedside while he slept off the anesthesia. You stroked his scuffed hand on the bed.

He really was a mess, you thought, as a tear rolled down your cheek. But he was alive. That was what mattered now.

A quiet knock at the door had you looking up, and then smiling to see Russell.

“Hey,” you said quietly, and in surprise. “Everything…went well?”

Russell’s lips quirked. “Yeah, we’re all set.”

No one would be finding those bodies anytime soon. He had a buddy in Denver, Colorado who happened to be a cremator. It was only a couple hours over from Laramie. He and Colter had just gotten back from driving the bodies there.

Before Colter drove over to Dory's apartment next, both to check on her and to fill her in on everything, he'd dropped Russell off at your house so he could get his car. He hadn’t felt right about leaving you in the hospital by yourself, even if you did have your brother.

Not without saying goodbye, at least.

“You know, I need to ask his doctor a question about his post-op care,” you said, gesturing at Charlie. “Can you stay with him for a minute while I go find a nurse?”

“Sure,” Russell agreed. You smiled gratefully and touched his arm as you passed him.

When you were gone, it left a heavy silence in your wake. Russell looked over at Charlie’s sleeping form. Russell sighed and sunk down into the chair beside the bed. He rubbed his tired face with both hands.

Shit. Now that he thought about it, he could’ve just told Colter to bring Dory here. He pulled out his phone to call his sister, when a low groan caught his attention.

Aw geez. What kinda timing, Russell thought, as he realized Charlie was waking up. His eyes slowly slid open, brows furrowing at the bright lights above him, then at the man beside him.

“Hey, man,” Russell said. “You’re okay. You’re in the hospital.”

“Yeah, I figured,” Charlie said, with another groan as he tried to stretch his body. He found he couldn’t yet move his leg. As awareness blinked back into his eyes, he settled on Russell with resignation.

“Thank you,” he said. “What you did for me, for her…I sure as hell didn’t deserve it, but thank you for saving her.”

Russell shook his head. “No need. Just get better.”

“Yeah. The doc says in a few months, I’ll be able to learn how to walk again,” Charlie said.

Russell gave him a firmer look.

“No, I mean get better,” he said. “You know you nearly got your sister killed.”

Charlie’s gaze fell. His face tightened, but really, he couldn’t even be upset at the accusation. He knew it was true, and his guilt already threatened to consume him. He also knew he should be in jail for what he’d done, and what he’d facilitated for months. After what nearly happened in the past twenty-four hours, he wasn’t sure how you could ever forgive him.

“Look, I served too. I know what you’re going through, being back here,” Russell said. “It feels wrong and right, don’t it?”

After a beat, Charlie nodded. “What branch?”

“Special Ops. I hear you were a pilot, Captain.”

“Yeah, I was,” Charlie said, his eyes lowering. “Now…now I don’t know what I am.”

“You’re her brother,” Russell said. Both his tone and his gaze all but demanded that the other man look him in the eyes. “Not her father or her son, her brother. I know you’ve been struggling. But I think you already know what you need to do, and figure out who you’re gonna be today, tomorrow, and the next.”

Charlie took in those words, and tried not to chafe at them coming from a near stranger. He knew, deep down, that all of it was right.

You came in a moment later with two cups of coffee. You brightened with a gasp when you saw that Charlie was awake.

“Hey.” He found a smile for you. You gave Russell the coffee you’d brought for him, but you quickly set yours down on the rolling tray so you could sit beside your brother.

Russell stepped out to give you two some privacy. You thanked him again and watched him go. Then, you turned back to Charlie with a tearful smile.

“How’re you feeling?” you asked.

“Have I said how much I love morphine?” Charlie remarked.

You rolled your eyes and took his hand in yours. “Yeah, how can I forget your thing for hard drugs.”

That hit sharper than a mere joke. His eyes fell away from yours. You sighed and bit your lip.

“I’m sorry,” you said. Charlie shook his head and covered your hand with his.

“No, I’m sorry. For everything I’ve put you through. And I don’t just mean today,” he said. “I’m going to make it up to you.”

“All that matters is that you’re here, and you’re going to be fine,” you said. “I’ve already put together a list of what you’re going to need when we bring you home—”

Charlie stopped you with a squeeze of your hand.

“I’m not going home just yet,” he said.

“Well, no, not until they discharge you, but—”

Again, he gently cut you off. “You were right. I need treatment, and not just for this damn leg.”

He swept a hand through his hair and sighed.

“When they let me out of here, I’m going back to rehab,” he said. “After that, we’ll see.”

 Tears stung in your eyes…but you nodded in relief. You held both of his hands then.

“You’re not doing this alone,” you told him. “I’ll be with you, every step.”

 Charlie let out a self-deprecating chuckle. He felt he didn’t deserve that, but he smiled at you.

“I know. You’ll be nagging me in my head, even when you’re not there,” he said. You smirked and brushed his greasy hair away from his face.

“Damn straight,” you replied. “I’ve finally become Mom.”

Charlie shook his head in amusement, but he leveled you with a pointed finger.

“But for now, you need to go home and get some rest,” he said.

You reluctantly agreed with that too. After a full twenty-four hours without sleep, you realized that you were exhausted. You leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“I love you,” you said. “I’ll come back to see you tomorrow.”

“Good. Love you too,” said Charlie. His eyelids were starting to droop from the pain medication, but he forced himself to stay awake for a little while longer. He even helped you back onto your feet with a guiding hand on your back. “Wait, is someone staying with you tonight? I don’t want you to be alone.”

You grabbed up your purse. “Don’t worry. I think I’ve got that covered.”

Your brother quirked a suspicious smile at the look on your face. The one you tried to hide from him when you noticed his scrutiny.

“What, is it one of those guys who helped us?” he asked. “Is it the blonde one—Ken doll? Or the mountain man?”

Of course he knew their names, but he just wanted to mess with you. He could already see you getting flustered while you twisted the strap of your purse between your fingers and glanced at the door.

 “What? No! Just go to sleep. Take advantage of the morphine while you’ve got it,” you said. “Don’t worry. I’ll call Dory.”

Charlie leveled you with a look. “Mhmm.”

He pulled the blanket higher on his chest and watched you leave. When the door swung open, he saw Russell leaning against the wall, waiting for you. 

Charlie huffed. He should’ve known. 

Okay, mountain man.  

That was the last thought he had before he drifted off.

You left your brother’s room just about overwhelmed with a maelstrom of emotions. However, the moment you saw Russell waiting for you, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets, it all distilled into one simple thing. 

He met your gaze and started to smile. 

You smiled back, and you went to him. 

You reached up to frame his face with both hands, and you searched for something in his eyes. They were tinged with surprise, but he waited on you, wondering what you were about to do. 

When you thought you found what you were looking for, you raised up on your toes and pressed your lips to his.

His hands unconsciously found your waist and held you to him. He met your lips in kind, and even deepened the connection. Your fingers slipped into his hair, lightly dragging your nails against his scalp. He hummed in pleasure. 

When your lips eventually parted from his, it was still too soon, he thought. Russell stared down at you with a question in his eyes—one he couldn’t help voicing.

“What was that for?” he asked.

“Thank you,” you whispered. “Thank you for everything.”

Ah… Russell’s smile evened out and faded slightly. 

So that was just a gesture of gratitude. He hoped you didn’t decide to thank Colter that way. 

“You don’t need to thank me,” Russell said. “I’m glad Charlie’s all right.”

“No, I do need to. So thank you,” you said. Your hands drifted down his chest, plucking at the edge of his jacket. 

“I don’t really want to be alone today, to be honest,” you admitted. “Would you…want to…keep me company for a while? You could rest up at my place.”

Russell’s brows raised. His lips curved. 

“Well, sure. I could do that. Your couch seemed pretty comfortable,” he said. 

“You don’t have to stay on the couch,” you replied. 

And then, Russell finally read your meaning. He saw it in your eyes, staring up at him through your lashes.

Maybe that kiss was exactly what he thought it meant. His smile became more genuine.

“Well, okay,” he said eventually. He wrapped an arm around your waist. “Let’s get you home then.”

You leaned against his side and gave him a lazy salute. “Aye, aye, Captain.”

He shook his head. His smile deepened into a grin.  

“You’re a little delirious, aren’t you?” he asked.

“Probably need some water,” you said with a giggle. “And God, I’m starving.”

Russell laid a gentle kiss to the side of your head that wasn’t bruised.

“All right, we’ll take care of that too,” he said.

“You know what I’m craving?” you asked. He looked down at you questioningly, and again he found your smile.

“Sriracha fries,” you said.

Russell busted out laughing at that. He fist-pumped the air with his free hand. 

“Hell, yeah.” 

For that, and much more, he would count today as a win. 

AN: There we go! A nice fluffy finish for you. How did you like how Charlie's arc wrapped up, along with her reunion with Russell? 💜

But just wait. We're not quite done yet...

Next Time:

He took in your hesitant face, then the pretty dress you had on. The color matched your eyes. Soulful eyes.

He smiled when you let him see them again.

“Can you see the bruises? I think I covered them up well enough,” you said. You turned to look at yourself in the mirror again, touching your jaw carefully. 

Russell’s hand raised to find your cheek, earning your attention with wider eyes. His thumb swept across your skin as you started to blush.

“You’re beautiful,” he said with a smile. “Don’t you worry about that.”

Your face warmed further, despite your smile. 

“Yeah, the makeup helps,” you quipped. 

“I didn’t say anything about makeup,” he replied. Though he grinned and made a show of looking closer at your face. “Although, have your lashes always been that damn long?”

You laughed, but he didn’t let go of you.

▶️ Keep Reading: PART 5 (Finale!)

Series Masterlist

Ko-Fi Me ☕

Russell Shaw Masterlist

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@wolkenprinzessin007 @alwaystiredandconfused @carpenterswife @cheynovak @grilledcheeseandtomato

[hwonnrinji]

plsplspls since it's sweater season can you make a Yoonchae × fem!reader fic inspired by the song "Heather" by Conan Gray???

help i was gonna make a sophia ver but anything for my bias 🫶

IT'S JUST POLYESTER ; 윤채

jeong yoonchae x fem!reader

{ synopsis } : you're madly in love with yoonchae. too bad she's in love with your best friend. right? right??

{ tags/extra } : unrequited love/one-sided love.. or so you think, eunchae and haerin cameo (haerin's the bsf but we're not gonna dive into that), it's angsty, so it's angsty, not proofread...

{ a/n } : felt like shit so i wrote shit. p.s. it's a little off prompt but yall see the parallel?? anyways it's 2:30am and i need sleep

@lararajjj @ohmyhaely @ninguitar @strwwjj @jwyproperty

══════════

now playing : heather - conan gray

⤷ "only if you knew

how much i liked you"

════════

═══════════════════════════

you knew this look all too well. you saw how sparks lit up in her eyes when she saw her. you saw how her lips parted in awe when she walked over. you clench your fists that hung by your side, your knuckles almost turning white by how hard your fists were balled up.

"what a sight for sore eyes," she mumbles.

of course. who wouldn't think of such thing when a girl that pretty walks up to you.

"what, you think she's pretty, yoonchae?" you ask, but it sounded a little sarcastic. you clear your throat to hide the bitter tone. yoonchae didn't pay any mind to your sour voice, nodding along to your question. you suppress a scoff

"she's got you mesmerized, huh?" you're dying inside, at this point.

"i think so," she admitted, a shy smile displayed on her lips when haerin finally approaches and attempted to strike a conversation with yoonchae. it's successful. it always is.

but haerin, oh, haerin.

she has always been the prettier best friend, always gaining the attention of your crushes left and right. she's a good friend, nonetheless, making it her mission to reject every one of them that confess to her. maybe it was out of pity, maybe it was out of girl code, but you can't help and feel disheartened. now you find yourself in the same situation with yoonchae that you swore you would prevent from happening.

you and yoonchae weren't anything. maybe more than friends, less than lovers, but it's never something. no, possibly even nothing at all. one kiss at a party during spin the bottle isn't special. you both had to or else you'd have to embarrass yourselves. it's just the game rules. yet, why did her gaze linger on you throughout and after the whole ordeal? why did her voice get softer with you but not everyone else? you weren't even half as pretty as haerin. so why?

tears of frustration mixed with sadness welled up in your eyes when you saw quick yoonchae got comfortable with haerin, how her voice was the same as the day of the party, how her eyes were identical to seeing you in her sweater for the first time. you let out a shaky breath, blinking back the tears that threatened to fall.

"are you cold?" you hear yoonchae ask. you look up to see yoonchae already fumbling to take off her sweater. the same sweater she let you wore last year. how ironic.

"just a little. it's december after all." haerin responds with a tone so gentle and warm that it gags you. yoonchae gives her the sweater, and out of politeness, haerin took it. you don't realize there's a scowl on your face until your eyebrows became sore from frowning too much, it's just polyester, you remind yourself. but you already know yoonchae liked– no, likes haerin better.

in your seventeen years of life, you've never wanted to be someone more. now you find yourself wishing to be haerin.

═══════════════════════════

you watch as haerin stands with her, holding her hand. you decided to save yourself from whatever this was by pretending to be busy for the day. you weren't. you just didn't want to bear the pain of seeing yoonchae being glued to the hip with haerin. you grimace as yoonchae put her arm around haerin's shoulder, leaving you to reminisce about the last time yoonchae did that for you, all because the wind was too strong for winter.

now you're getting colder the longer you stare at just how close those two were from afar. the lack of an arm around your shoulder, or the warm hands of yoonchae's holding yours, made you more fragile to the intense breeze.

despite everything you feel, you can never find yourself to actually look at haerin with disdain. she's been with you since a pacifier was in your mouth, and she's the sweetest, most angel like girl to ever exist, so why do you wish she was dead? no, no, dead is overly strong. maybe disappear is the word you're looking for. wait, no, not quite. there are times when haerin is the only person to understand you, so to have her disappear wouldn't benefit anybody.

just then, yoonchae turned around, immediately spotting you from across the quad. she eagerly waved you over, a huge smile on her face just from seeing you alone. maybe there was something to your relationship with yoonchae.

maybe, maybe, maybe–

oh? who was that?

you briefly ignore yoonchae's attempts at getting you to come over, swiveling your head to look at who just walked past you, and lord, it was like an angel was sent from heaven just for you. your eyes were fixated on hers and it seems like she felt your gaze as well, seeing how she looked back and smiled at you. that smile can light up a world.

from across the quad, yoonchae and haerin both watched as you get enthralled by that smile. the look in your eyes is sickening, sickeningly sweet to haerin, sickeningly disgusting to yoonchae. yoonchae has no idea why she felt that way, but the way your eyes locked onto the girl walking past you instead of on her ticked her off a bit. haerin, of course, notices the lack of responses from yoonchae and looked at the girl to see her absolutely glaring at whoever caught your attention.

haerin chuckles and lightly tap yoonchae on the shoulder. "you look like you've just seen your enemy." it's too soon for 'enemy' to be placed as a title on the girl. maybe potential competition would best fit.

back on your end, the girl approached you. wait. was that right? a girl that pretty approaching you? your lips parted in awe at such duality the girl held, how handsome she looked, yet how gorgeous she presented herself. "i like your hoodie." she told you. even her voice, which was on a lower register, sounded magical.

"wha– me?" you look down at your plain white hoodie, wondering how anyone can like such a piece of clothing.

now yoonchae's scowling, the wrinkles on her forehead could've been permanent if haerin didn't tell her to give it a rest. she could hear the conversation from a mile away. your hoodie was just ordinary. there's nothing special to it other than the white color. maybe it was just like your relationship with yoonchae. "please, that hoodie is nothing special,"

"this hoodie is nothing special." it was, indeed, special. yoonchae had bought it for you for christmas, and you wore it the entirety of the skii trip you went on. both of you didn't know why you said what you said but it didn't sit right with neither of you. the girl gave you her number and bid goodbye to catch up with her friends. you learn her name is eunchae. hong eunchae. it rolled off your tongue perfectly.

you rush over to haerin and yoonchae to share the interaction you just had as if they didn't witness it, haerin jumping in joy with you. yoonchae bit the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from speaking wrongly, offering a forced smile instead. you stopped your rambling to look at eunchae while yoonchae kept her eyes on you. deep down, even with eunchae showing interest in you, you still wished yoonchae looked at you like that. and deep down in yoonchae's brain, she wished it was her who got you all flustered.

'i wish i was haerin.'

'i wish i was eunchae.'

[haobubbles]

Riize when you argue and they have to go on tour

genre: fluff, crack n kinda angst?

tw: no foolproof read!!, cursing

roxy yapps: i publicily apologise for taking so long to post smth😭 with my exam's week and now christmas (having family over ALL THE TIME) i haven't had time but well, here it is!! enjoy and if u can leave some ideas for req!!

── . ★ shotaro

after the attitude of fans at the airport and the fight he had had with you, this boy was quite a mess and was in very low spirit.

known as probably the most energetic boy on this earth, that day he would catch their fans by surprise when, even if his performance was astounding, he sounded more tired than usual and he clearly had his mind somewhere else. when he closed the door of his room in the hotel, after the concert, he made sure to send an apologise to briizes on weverse. without a second thought (after cheking the time of your country ofc) he called you.

"if you just need to, pretend we're fine until i come back home. i can't perform knowing i've fucked up and haven't made things right"

── . ★ eunseok

after having a fight with you, eunseok sent you a message about his departure for the tour, and as he didn't receive any message back, he second guessed that you needed your space, which he decided to give. he was sure you'd reach out when you felt better but the wait was slowly killing him.

on stage, he wouldn't seem as if he just had a fight with his significant other, although he kept on thinking about his electronic device, and if it had buzzed with a message of yours. he definetely acted flirty with the camera, sending flying kisses or winks in hopes you were watching it at home and you knew they were for you.

seeing your messages on his lockscreen made his face lit up instantly, which even if he knew he would be made fun of later, he couldn't care less.

eunseok: did you see me on stage? all those flying kisses and winks were for you

── . ★ sungchan

would definetely be pouty and with big ass moodswings.

on stage, he would be the sungchan everyone knew and loved, however, on backstage he would be (for the couple minutes they have) pouty, with his eyebrows furred and maybe even moody.

his teammates would probably need to take part in it by telling him how much you miss him. then he would call you with all his confidence built up and he would curse them out loud for setting him up.

"well, now that i've called you, let's just fix things okay? i miss you and i dont want to be abroad while having an on-going fight with you"

── . ★ wonbin

number 1 sulky boy. he would be confident about you two fixing your diferences but he hated the thought of getting on stage and being in a fight with his first and most important supporter.

either spam messages or he would go silent because he'd be too scared to say something or do things to worsen the situation. however; he wouldn't wait for you to make the first step.

would deadass indirectly tell you things during his speech "don't forget to tell your loved ones how much you appreciate them, no matter if you're arguing or phisically distant from each other.."

would leave everyone stunned and would low-key be very proud of himself when he would see your message "call me when you have some time x"

── . ★ seunghan

another boy with speeches however, he would take your arguing as a possibility to get you back, so he would put up a romantic act just for you to see (even if he was in front of thousands of people)

woulnd't be too worried because he was confident in deeply knowing you. he knew how you acted when you were mad and how he was supposed to act

"i've started listening to (your fav song) recently but i think it lacks some reasoning, could someone explain it to me?" "can i marry you? oh no, no, my heart can receive all the love from everyone but it can only give it to one person back"

── . ★ sohee

he would be lost. not only about what to do, but not talking to you and being currently not in good terms, it wrecked his routine and his "normality" so he wouldn't be sure on what to do.

i feel like he would need to talk it out with another member to ask for advice on how to make things right. he would be too shy to act bold by hismelf, so that's why he recurred to talk with euseok during the flight. even if the older member told him to just call you and have a proper conversation (which he of course would do) he dedided to add his own touch.

during the concert, he would say some words or constructions you usually used and poses and gestures you usually made. he just wanted to show you that even if he hadn't reached out, he kept you wiht him everywhere, everytime, no matter what.

"please call me or text me when you can. i miss you so fucking bad and i refuse to go on like this"

── . ★ anton

wheni tell you this boy would risk losing his flight because he didn't want to leave while you hadn't fixed things.

if he did really had to leave (or they just obligated him), he would be all the time sending you reassuring messages about how much he loves you, or maybe some memes to make you laugh.

on stage, he would be bubblier and happier than usual, but he would go viral for singing a snippet of 'the reason' of hoobastank. when the fans would ask him later on about why did he choose to sing it, he would dismiss the topic by saying that he just felt like it.

"i hope you liked it..i bet you'll even like it more when you know the boys have been making fun of me for 15 mins now"

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Your most recent post about how you would(n’t) use Lila was interesting, because after I read how you’d handle a Chloe redemption I thought Lila would make a good counterpart to Chloe for Adrien, an object lesson about how some people can’t/don’t want to be redeemed.

Start out before or near the beginning of the redemption arc with Chloe as the bully with a long history of misdeeds to make up for, and Lila as (Adrien and the audience thinks) a nervous newcomer who told some lies for attention/popularity. Adrien might even think of her situation as Easy Mode or good practice for helping Chloe. Then time goes on, and as Chloe shows signs of improvement, Lila gradually reveals her true nature.

(Chloe post and Lila post for context)

I don't totally disagree. There are versions of canon where Lila and Chloe would be good choices for a nuanced discussion on redemption. For example, if canon was all about the teenage characters and had no adult villains, then Lila would be a great choice for damnation! The problem is that canon didn't take that route or really any route where Lila feels like a good addition to the cast, let alone someone worthy of being Chloe's counterpart in a lesson about the nuances of redemption.

The main plot of Miraculous should have been Gabriel's reveal and downfall. The point of Chloe's redemption should have been prepping Adrien for said reveal and downfall. Through her, Adrien first learns how to cut off someone you love and then learns how to decide if you want to bring that person back into your life. That is a full and complete lesson. Trying to repeat the lesson or supplement the lesson with Lila feels unnecessary for the same reason I don't like her as the new main villain: she's no one. A total rando with no close ties to Adrien or anyone else. Adrien wanting to help her is fine in theory, but hard to see as a valuable addition because she doesn't matter to his character. We have his father, his close childhood friend, and a random girl he barely knows. One of these things is not like the other. That lack of depth removes most or even all of the emotional impact that a failed Lila redemption would have on Adrien. It's not going to have much of an impact on the audience either unless you make some serious changes to Lila.

One of the show's biggest flaws is that Lila is not a functional character. She has no clear motivations, backstory, or even a strong tie to the main plot of seasons one to five, making it hard to care about her. To have her damnation have any sort of emotional impact on the audience, you need to give her those things and have her develop actual relationships. Without that depth, she's an incredibly weak addition to the story who is only here to be a two-dimensional villain. The audience doesn't want her to be redeemed. We want to see her go down! Those are the wrong emotions for a lesson on failed redemption. Failed redemption should be a tragedy if you want the lesson to hit properly. It's easy to give up on people we don't really care about. It's hard to give up on people we love.

Add in the facts that Miraculous already has too many characters and that Chloe's redemption would be a subplot amidst everything else that's going on and I just don't see Lila being worth the screen time it would take to let her have a proper damnation when you're already giving Gabriel a damnation. Plus it's kind of depressing to have one redemption against two damnations and I like to keep the sad elements limited so that they really pop. Damning Lila and then Gabriel would make Gabriel's damnation feel less powerful.

Even if the plan was to redeem Gabriel, I still wouldn't use Lila as our damnation case study. I'd use Nathalie. She's far more interesting and has an actual tie to the overall plot, making her super easy to involve. Her and Gabriel share the screen constantly, making it very easy to contrast them as the story goes on. You can't really do that with Lila and Chloe because Lila and Chloe would never team up in a story where Chloe gets a redemption arc. Canon had to add Chloe's Marinette obsession to make the Lila & Chloe plot work and Chloe's redemption doesn't work if she hates Marinette to that extreme. I don't think that version of Chloe is beyond redemption, but I would never redeem her into Marinette's friend group. Seasons-four-and-five Chloe needs a fresh start with people she hasn't hurt. I don't know if she could ever be friends with Marinette and I don't particularly care to see it.

I love a good redemption, but part of writing those is knowing that there are lines that a character can't cross if you want them to be forgiven and accepted by your core cast later on. It's that whole romanticizing the cycle of abuse thing that I've discussed before re enemies-to-lovers stories and the general concept of redeeming Gabriel. I get why people like it, it's a wonderful fantasy, but for me it's an incredibly hard sell. My suspension of disbelief almost always breaks, leaving me feeling sad and unsatisfied.

[illuminatedquill]

Story Summary: The rebels on Atollon base take a much-needed rest for the holidays. However, Sabine is not in a festive mood since she has noticed Ezra slipping away during some nights to spend time with Nadia Arcossa, a beautiful young Rebel pilot that has recently joined the Rebel cell. With no one on the Ghost crew willing to disclose what her best friend is up to, an increasingly jealous Sabine decides to investigate . . .

For @ana-cantskywalker

Happy Holidays! Hope you enjoy this present from your Secret Santa.

Her quarry was slowly approaching, Sabine could sense. With quiet, steady footsteps, walking into the Ghost's communal area. The hour was late - or early, depending on how you viewed it; Sabine had been lying in wait since the early evening, choosing her spot carefully for its vantage point. It was during these moments that she felt grateful for her time spent in the bounty hunter business with Ketsu. Hunting and tracking, something ingrained into every Mandalorian warrior since birth, could only truly be honed with experience.

In the shadows she waited, senses keen and sharp, tracking her target. She inhaled slightly as he entered cautiously into the room; a familiar, pleasant musk drifted over to her.

Sweat.

Not from being nervous, but from whatever physical activity he had been doing in the hours prior. What could he be doing that would cause him to sweat during this late at night, she wondered.

Her eyes narrowed in suspicion, gut churning at the twisting feelings arising within her.

There was a quick exhalation of breath from the quarry, signaling relief. He seemed to think the coast was clear - that no one had been watching and waiting for his return.

Sabine smirked. Your mistake, goober.

She snapped her fingers. The lights came on.

Frozen, like a loth-cat caught within a trap, standing in the communal area entryway mid-step, was her best friend, Ezra Bridger, Jedi-in-training. Eyes wide, mouth agape, his sky-blue eyes swiveled over to her, sitting calmly at the nearby round table they used for meetings.

A choking noise came from the young Jedi's mouth. Sabine enjoyed watching her panic for a few seconds, savoring the sheer look of terror on his face, before speaking.

"Hey, Ezra," she said casually. "Where ya been?"

He was already sidling away from her, trying to go back out the doorway. "Uh . . . nowhere."

She leaned forward, smiling wolfishly. "Nowhere? Hmmm. I don't think so."

A solid mass of fur and muscle appeared behind Ezra suddenly, blocking his way out. He slowly turned around to find Zeb standing there, the Lasat's meaty arms folded across his chest.

"You can't run from this, Ezra," Zeb said.

The young Jedi shook his head. "You're helping her?" he asked, incredulous.

"She threatened me!", the Lasat complained, eyes pleading. "I accidentally broke the new steering yoke in the Phantom - you know, the one Hera just installed. She thinks the piece was faulty, but Sabine knew it was me and Hera will take it out of my hide if she ever finds out - "

Ezra snorted. "You caved big time, you big furball," he retorted.

"Focus less on him and more on me," Sabine interjected, fingers drumming impatiently on the table surface. "Answer my question, Ezra."

His face went stony with silence. "No."

Sabine's eyebrows raised perceptibly with his defiance. "No?", she repeated. "What do you mean, 'no'?"

Ezra crossed his arms, eyes sparkling with rebelliousness. "It means 'no'. I'm not telling you."

She stood up from her seat, trying to reign in her patience - and failing miserably. "You've been sneaking out in the middle of the night and coming back early morning. What are you up to, goober? Why aren't you telling me?"

Sabine cracked her knuckles, as an added effect. Ezra winced at the sound but, to her surprise, he stood his ground.

Both of them glared at each other, neither backing down.

Then -

"What are you all doing at this ungodly hour."

Kanan Jarrus, Jedi Knight and Ezra's mentor, had arrived. He was dressed in rumpled sleepwear, his hair disheveled. Although his scarred eyes availed him no vision, there was still the sense that the older Jedi saw everything before him clearly. A chagrined Zeb stood hunched over, scratching at his head.

"Sabine bullied me into doing this, Kanan," he whined.

"Yeah, she knows about you breaking the Phantom's new steering yoke," Kanan said, exasperated. "Everyone does."

Zeb froze, his ears twitching in shock. "What - does Hera know?"

The Jedi clapped his friend on the shoulder. "She does. Best go to sleep now and enjoy your last night of freedom. Hera's got a list of chores for you to do when you wake up."

The big Lasat deflated, shoulders slumping in defeat. "How many? And for how long?"

"Many, many chores. Enough to last a lifetime - even for a Lasat," Kanan replied.

Zeb whimpered, cast a sad look around at his friends, and then shuffled off to his bunk. Kanan sighed. "Poor guy."

Ezra immediately slid behind Kanan, putting his mentor between him and Sabine. "Need your help, Master."

Kanan snorted. "Quick with the honorifics, eh? Scared of Sabine?"

"Always," said Ezra.

"Very wise of you," Kanan said. He frowned at his padawan. "You were with Nadia tonight?"

A face flashed through Sabine's memory at the name; a human female rebel pilot, slightly older than her. Sun browned skin, cropped auburn hair, jade green eyes, with a wicked grin. She had showed up a month ago and had become the darling of Atollon's rebel cell since her appearance backed by glowing performance reviews from Commander Sato. Rumor had it that she had been recruited by Mon Mothma herself.

Sabine had only caught a handful of glimpses at her - each time with a nagging sense of familiarity. She could not pin her name or face down, but Sabine swore that they had crossed paths before . . .

She shook her head. None of that mattered. She had a new line of inquiry to pursue regarding Ezra's late night jaunts.

"Nadia?" Sabine asked sharply. "Nadia Arcossa? That new rebel pilot?"

Ezra cast a nervous glance at her but answered Kanan's question with a simple nod. The older Jedi sighed.

"Right," he said tiredly. "You can go to your room. I'll cover for you."

"Cover what?" asked Sabine, annoyed. "What are you all hiding from me?"

Her friend gave her a guilty look, opening his mouth to say something - and then, deciding last second, kept it shut.

"I'm sorry, Sabine," he said in a sincere tone. "It'll make sense in a couple days, I promise." He ducked out into the doorway, before Sabine could say anything back.

Which just left her and Kanan alone in the communal area.

"I suspect you have questions," he said, grinning.

She ground her teeth in frustration but kept a calm tone. "A few, yeah."

He held out a hand in a placating gesture. "I'll answer the most pressing one first, before you blow a gasket."

"Blow a - I'm not angry. Who's angry, not me," Sabine sputtered. "Why would I be angry about the goober's late-night wanderings with Arcossa?"

Kanan raised an eyebrow. "Can I finish?"

With a heroic effort, Sabine kept her mouth shut and nodded in a jerky fashion.

"It's nothing . . . nefarious," Kanan said, wiggling his eyebrows up and down in comical fashion at that last word. "He's learning something from Nadia. That's all."

She crossed her arms. "Aren't you the Jedi Master? What can he learn from her, that you can't teach him?"

Kanan's grin widened. "There are some things even I don't know, Sabine. He's in good hands, don't worry. Nadia is plenty knowledgeable about what she's teaching."

At the mention of hands, images burst free to the forefront of Sabine's thoughts, flooding her mind.

Hands, roaming over sun-kissed skin.

Ezra leaning close to beautiful Nadia's face, their lips inching closer and closer -

She shook herself roughly, desperately trying to clear her head of such thoughts.

No.

No, that was not happening. Not on her watch.

"I'll take your word for it," she said, trying to sound casual.

It didn't work. Kanan snorted and said, "I don't need to be a Jedi to know you're lying, Sabine."

"Yeah?" she challenged, sticking her hands firmly on hips. "What are you going to do about it?"

He laughed. "Watch from a safe distance."

_ _ _ _ _

The next few days were filled with a busy assortment of activities and work as Atollon base geared up to celebrate Life Day. The hangar was being converted into a dance hall, complete with a stage set up for music. Some of the rebels there were musicians and were planning a medley of festive songs to accompany the dancing.

Others were cooking up a storm in the makeshift kitchens, bringing various cuisines from all over the galaxy to feed everyone. It promised to be a relaxing, fun event which was sorely needed to boost morale during these dark times. Commander Sato himself was planning to sing, having studied opera while growing up.

It was a much-needed reminder of what they were all fighting for. Some days the war was all they had. But there had to be other things. And Life Day was a celebration of that.

Sabine did her best to keep an eye on the wandering Ezra, catching glimpses of him all over the base engrossed in different activities while helping out. She had an ugly suspicion that he was using the preparations as an excuse to hide from her since their confrontation. She was busy herself, having volunteered for a dozen different projects to help set up the upcoming event's festivities. The hours flew by, faster than light it seemed.

She did, however, see Nadia several more times. Looking at her more closely, Sabine was once again filled with a nagging sense that they had met before. It wasn't a particularly good feeling either; it resembled a stone, sitting heavy in the pit of her stomach. And it grew heavier every time she saw Nadia interact with Ezra. Always they talked in hushed whispers, a few gentle laughs, and always it seemed Nadia found an excuse to touch Ezra in an affectionate manner.

An amused Kanan continued to watch from the sidelines, as he promised, which only further annoyed her. Whenever she managed to snag time to question him again, the Jedi continued to remain frustratingly silent on the whole affair. Hera also was of a similar disposition and a woeful Zeb was too busy with the endless list of chores Hera had set up for him as punishment to talk.

At the end of the last day before the celebration, Sabine decided she could take it no longer. It was time for action.

_ _ _ _ _

The normally arid temperature of Atollon had dropped precariously as the planet approached what resembled winter. Sabine had fared far worse - particularly on her on home world, Krownest - but tonight she was forced to dress light, without her customary beskar armor. Night was falling fast across the desert planet, and the thin cloak she wore in place of her armor was little protection against the cold.

Through some careful observation and more tracking, she had finally located the small bunker where Nadia and Ezra were doing their secret activities together on the perimeter's edge of Atollon base. Far away from wandering eyes, it was still used as a storage for excess supplies and munitions, but not a high enough priority to be watched constantly.

From an outcropping of rocks nearby, she waited for the pair to arrive. They did so, ten minutes later; Ezra dressed in his usual outfit, Nadia still wearing his flight uniform. Sabine watched Ezra scan around them, his face relaxing when he saw nothing suspicious. He muttered something to Nadia, who keyed an access code into the bunker's door. They entered with a hurry, eager to get out from the cold.

Sabine had caught the access code from his hiding spot, but it would be stupid to waltz through the front door. She needed to see what they were doing that required such secrecy. Unfortunately, the bunker was solidly built - only one way in or out. Which meant that she had to get creative.

It still needed a ventilation system to preserve the supplies inside. That was her ticket in - or so she hoped. This was uncharted waters for her, since Ezra was usually the one to scurry around a Star Destroyer or Imperial Base air vents.

Sneaking around to the back, she found her opening and quietly uncovered the access port leading inside.

"Dank ferrik," she whispered, the moment a proper look was available of her entryway.

It was narrow. Extremely narrow. She looked down at her clothes, grimacing.

Need to shed more layers to fit, she thought.

It occurred to her, not for the first time, that crawling into an old air duct to spy on her best friend and his beautiful female acquaintance was beyond insanity. But, then again, nothing felt sane these days. Sabine had felt off-balance since those creepy caves on Dathomir. It wasn't being possessed by the spirits of witches long dead that unsettled her - it was what she had found in those dark caves that filled her with dread about the future.

The Darksaber. An ancient weapon with a loaded history that gave its wielder the right to rule Mandalore.

And it was now in her possession. Oh, the things she could do with it . . .

She shook her head free of such despairing thoughts. It was something Sabine desperately did not want to think about right now.

With a deep breath, she stripped down, leaving only her thin undergarments to at least feel some miniscule sense of modesty. Folding her clothes neatly into a pile next to the vent opening, she wriggled her way inside, managing a clumsy sort of half-crawl to move forward.

She made her way through the ventilation system's guts for a good fifteen minutes by her estimation. The interior of the duct system hadn't been cleaned in a long while; cobwebs, dust, and other detritus cluttered inside, scraping at her exposed skin. Sabine winced at raw scrapes, her grip becoming slippery with sweat as she struggled through the air duct.

Finally, she began to hear voices reverberating through the vent: Ezra, followed by Nadia's. She saw a light up ahead - another opening. Hopefully, she could get a view of what was happening below inside the bunker.

With a final huff of effort, she reached the opening -

The metal beneath her suddenly shifted with an alarming groan. Sabine froze, heart thumping painfully against her ribs.

Oh, kriff, she thought. The realization hit that the vent was probably made from cheap durasteel that was not built for a human to crawl through.

Ezra's voice came then, sounding wary: "What was that?"

"Sounds like it came from above," said Nadia. "From the vents . . . maybe a rat?"

"Sounds too big to be a rat," replied Ezra nervously. "Maybe we should - "

With a horrible screech, the metal beneath Sabine gave way and she fell through the air -

Only to be caught in an invisible grip, a mere few inches from the solid concrete floor. All around her, small pieces of concrete and steel pelted the floor, but Sabine remained unharmed.

She looked up to find Ezra, his expression started but his hand outstretched. Her best friend's eyes flashed with worry, his mouth pressed into a thin line as he concentrated holding her steady with the Force.

Next to him was Nadia. Her expression was settling into one of gentle bemusement.

Sabine suddenly remembered how she looked to the both of them: dirty, bruised, scratched, and mostly naked.

"You can set me down now, Ezra," she said quietly.

He did so. The worry in his eyes never faded entirely but new emotions began to flicker forth: annoyance and frustration. Ezra reached behind him and grabbed a towel off a nearby crate. With a flick of his hand, he tossed it to her. Sabine caught it gratefully and began to wrap it around herself.

The young Jedi folded his arms. "Explain," he said.

Sabine shrugged. There was nothing she could say to salvage this situation.

"You were spying on us," Nadia observed wryly.

Ezra groaned and buried his face into his hands. "Sabine . . . "

Well, she thought. I came this far.

"So," she started casually. "What have you guys been up to?"

_ _ _ _ _

The Life Day celebration festivities were in full swing when Sabine arrived. She was not in her usual get-up, instead choosing to wear a shimmer-silk dress colored with a blend of lavender and sunburst orange hues that fell just past her knees and a pair of sandals with straps that wrapped up her thighs. Where Hera had procured such a dress, Sabine had no idea but was moved by the Twi'lek's generosity.

She scanned the crowd inside the main hangar bay, searching for Ezra. Hera and Kanan were already on the dance floor, holding each other close and swaying to the music. Zeb, given a one-night reprieve from his punishment, was partying it up with a group of rebels in a corner, taking a swig of some green colored liquor from a glass jug. Chopper trundled around, taking in the sights, the droid's tiny mechanical widgets balancing a tray of appetizers. Somehow, Hera had bullied him into playing butler for the evening.

"You clean up well," came a voice from behind her. She turned to find Nadia, surprisingly still in her flight uniform.

"You're not going to dance?" Sabine asked, frowning.

Nadia smiled at her. It looked a little sad, she noted. "I've got orders to ship out in the morning," she replied. "I'm just here to say good-bye to everyone."

Sabine nodded. The last night's events were still vivid in her memory, and she struggled not to feel embarrassed in Nadia's presence. She - and a flustered Ezra - had explained that he had been taking dancing lessons from her. It wasn't just an old dance, either - this style was specifically used for Mandalorian royalty, back in the old days. Ezra had been hoping to surprise her during the Life Day celebration.

It was then it had clicked for Sabine why Nadia looked so familiar.

The rebel pilot was Mandalorian. Clan Arcossa. She and Sabine had been classmates during the early days of Mandalorian training. Not quite friends - more like friendly rivals.

Nadia smirked at her. "Humbled to know that the infamous Sabine Wren finally recognizes me."

"Hey," countered Sabine. "It's been a while. Last time I saw you, you were all curls and missing teeth."

"Yeah," shot back Nadia. "You were the reason for those missing teeth, if I recall."

Sabine laughed. "How's your family?" she asked.

Nadia's smile vanished. "Dead," she said.

Sabine felt her stomach drop at the revelation. She reached out and gripped Nadia's arm with an affectionate squeeze. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "How?"

The smile came back, full of bitterness. "Same story as everyone else here, I think," she said. "The Empire. My parents were trying to stay neutral throughout this whole war. I was trying to convince them otherwise. It didn't matter, in the end. The Empire made the decision for them."

"Hail, Countess Arcossa," said Sabine.

Nadia snorted. "Thanks, I guess. Never wanted it like this. And speaking of Countess . . . "

She leaned forward, eyes sparkling with curiosity. "Word is that your mother is looking for you."

It was Sabine's turn to smile bitterly. "She can keep looking," she answered. "I have no interest in going back."

Although I might need to, she thought. Very soon, at that. Don't know how much longer I can put off that reunion.

Nadia nodded. "I get that. I haven't heard good things about Clan Wren lately."

"Yeah," said Sabine bitterly. "I know."

Nadia raised a glass in mock cheer. "To our families."

Sabine snorted. "May they continue to be complicated."

The rebel pilot tipped back her glass and drank. "Your boyfriend has arrived, by the way," she noted.

Sabine whipped her head around quick enough to cause a crick in her neck. But, sure enough, there he was: dressed formally in a layered robe tunic, with a dress vest, black seamed pants and polished black boots that rode up to his calves.

He looked handsome. Ezra saw her and gave a cheerful wave. Despite her antics from last night, he didn't seem to be harboring any grudges. Although, Sabine suspected, he would want to talk with her about it later. She gave him a gesture that meant to wait a couple minutes while she finished talking with Nadia.

Ezra gave her a swift acknowledgment and made a beeline towards Chopper with the appetizers. The droid stuck out his electric probe and zapped him as a greeting.

It took a full ten seconds for Sabine to register what Nadia had said fully. "Hey," she said, turning to look back at the rebel pilot and finding a smug expression on her face. "He is not my boyfriend."

"Uh-huh," replied Nadia. "Sure."

"He's not," Sabine insisted. "We're just . . . we're partners. That's it."

"Is that so?" Nadia asked. "Well then, you won't mind if I - "

She stuck out an arm, shoving (politely, in her point of view) Nadia back from taking a step towards her friend. "No, I do mind, actually."

The fellow Mandalorian smirked. "Case closed, I think. If you don't act on it soon, Wren, then someone else will. He's an amazing partner. Not just in dance, although he is kind of hopeless. Two left feet, but he's sincere about it."

Sabine's eye began to twitch. "Oh?"

"Yeah. Great smile, easy on the eyes, and he's good with his hands. Knows where to place them."

She gritted her teeth but stayed quiet.

Nadia paused. "Shame about that haircut, though."

Sabine's cheeks flushed. "That was me," she confessed.

The other girl stared at her. "You did that to him? Maybe I was wrong about you two."

"I was mad at him," Sabine replied, exasperated from just thinking about the memory. "We went out to Ilum - "

"Ilum? That place is crawling with Imperials last I heard."

"Yeah, but he needed a kyber crystal from there to complete building his second lightsaber. Things went sideways and he got . . . "

Words failed her then, trying to describe the dark, difficult journey Ezra had undergone on that planet. It had left him changed - and their relationship was forever altered, as well.

She sighed. "Story for another day," she said. "Not relevant right now."

"I'll take your word for it," Nadia said. "You know, I've never seen you struggle so much with another person. The Wren I remember always went after what she wanted."

"I don't struggle with Ezra," Sabine said, surprised.

The other Mandalorian gave her an incredulous look. "You. In the vent. Covered in dirt and bruises. Almost naked."

Sabine flushed. "That was - look, we all have our moments of temporary insanity."

"Funny thing is," Nadia said, brushing off her weak excuse, "Ezra told me that's the craziest thing he's seen you do. And if the stories I've heard about the Ghost crew are half-true, then that's saying something."

Sabine was silent, her face pensive. Nadia eyed her.

"Wren - look, you care about him. Deeply. What's the big deal?"

Finally, Sabine said in a low tone, "I found the Darksaber."

Nadia went still, her eyes widening in shock. "You - what? For real?"

She nodded. The other Mandalorian whistled.

"Yeah, that does complicate things."

"It does," Sabine agreed miserably.

For a long few seconds, neither of them spoke. Both were thinking of the ancient weapon's history - and potential future, especially in Sabine's hands.

Then, Nadia shook her head. "I don't have any words to comfort you, Wren. That's a heavy burden. But . . . this thing you have with Ezra? It's going to change things. You need to tell him how you feel. Soon."

"I can't," Sabine whispered.

"Why not? I know he'll back you up. No matter what. Tell him, Wren."

She shook her head. "I can't tell him . . . "

"Why?"

"Because, one day, I won't be able to anymore. The galaxy will break whatever promise he makes."

Nadia looked at her with pity. "I understand. In these times, it seems like we have no good choices left. But we still have to choose."

"How?" Sabine asked.

Nadia looked at her. "Whatever you can live with."

_ _ _ _ _

After saying their final farewells, Sabine made her way to the dance floor where Ezra was waiting. He was rubbing his side, muttering darkly; a small scorch mark marred his fancy dress tunic, where Chopper had zapped him earlier.

"Ready?"

He did a double take at her outfit, before standing ramrod straight. "Yes," he said, looking flustered. It was adorable.

Moving to the center of the crowd, they began to dance, keeping to the rhythm of the music being played. Ezra's Mandalorian dance technique was, as Nadi said, clumsy.

But he was trying, which all that mattered to her.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled to her, concentrating on not tripping. "I shouldn't have kept it a secret."

Sabine laughed. "You're apologizing? I'm the one who's been going stir crazy because of it."

"Well," Ezra said, "since you agree . . . "

She sighed. "You want me talk about it, huh."

"Only if you want to," he added hastily. "But I have been concerned. You've been . . . distant since Dathomir. Holed up in your room."

Sabine grimaced. "I have, haven't I?"

"Yeah," Ezra said. "Again, if you don't want to talk about it . . . "

She thought hard about what Nadia had said to her earlier.

Things were going to change very soon.

"I . . . not right now. It's something personal to me, Ezra. But I'll talk to you about it soon, I promise. Just for tonight, I want to dance with you. If that's alright."

She braced herself, expecting a recrimination. But Ezra simply said, "Okay."

Mentally, Sabine breathed a sigh of relief.

"Can I ask why you don't want to talk about it?"

She pursed her lips. "Because it will change things."

"Not us," Ezra shot back instantly. "I'm here for you. Always."

Her heart lurched at the certainty in her friend's voice. Oh, Ezra . . .

"I'll hold you to that promise, goober," she replied quietly, leaning into his embrace.

"Okay. And if you ever need reminding - ack!"

They both fell over, Ezra tripping over a familiar object - Chopper. The droid wheeled himself away, chortling over his little prank.

"That little . . . are you okay, Sabine?"

She doubled over, breathless from laughter. "I'm fine. Nadia was right; you really do have two left feet, huh."

"Yeah," he said, cheeks flushed. Ezra stuck out his hand and hauled her up to standing position.

Sighing, he admitted, "I'm no good at this. Sorry. Nadia tried her best."

Sabine looked at him, smiling a little.

The Wren I remember always went after what she wanted.

Things were going to change very soon, she knew deep down in her heart. That's why she couldn't tell him everything. Not yet.

But maybe, just for tonight, she could allow herself to be a little brave. Just for tonight, and tonight alone.

She leaned forward and gave Ezra a soft kiss on his cheek. As she pulled away, she felt a tingle of satisfaction at seeing the look of slack-jawed astonishment on his face.

Squeezing his hand affectionately, she led him back into the dance. "Don't worry, Ezra," she said. "I'll take the lead in this dance tonight."

~ epilogue ~

The morning after, Sabine wandered into the Ghost communal area for breakfast. Hera sat there, reading through her datapad.

"Good morning," said the Twi'lek.

"Morning," mumbled Sabine. The Mandalorian began to mix ingredients into a bowl for some thick porridge. Her head was pounding from all the festivities of last night.

"So," Hera said in a sly tone. "Heard you were out late with Ezra last night."

Sabine spilled her porridge. "Hmmmm? Is that so?"

"Yup."

Cleaning up her mess quickly, she grabbed what was left of her porridge and sat down at the round table, keeping a calm expression. "And is that all you heard?"

"Maybe. Saw Ezra this morning too, you know. He had a bounce in his step."

"Did he now?" It was very hard not to express smug satisfaction at hearing those words. So very hard.

"Yup."

Sabine shrugged. "Well, you know Ezra. He probably sprained his ankle or something."

Hera snorted. "Sounds like him." She got up from the table, taking her datapad with her - but not before bending down to whisper in Sabine's ear.

"Next time," she said, "might want to cover up that mark on your neck. Strains your credulity a little, otherwise."

Sabine slapped the side of her neck in horror.

Hera laughed.

[yanderefarm]

How would Achilles feel if darling got visibly turned on while torturing him but once they were done they would NEVER have sex with him? Like they clean him up (or let him stew in whatever pain he’s in) and then go to the bathroom to masturbate. They never let him help.

Cause I know he’s kind of like okay with no sex and he really just wants to be tortured and have your attention but at the same time if HE’S the reason you’re turned on why won’t you let him help???

thats such a good question...

i feel like he'd just feel really insecure about it? like he'd probably think its because he's not desirable in that way.

i imagine him noticing you leave again and he decides to talk to you about it when you're done so he dresses and takes care of himself and goes to find you making dinner.

".... you can see other people." he says tepidly.

"huh?" you feel your heart drop.

"I've noticed you never have any dates or anything. I don't know if you're limiting yourself because of me so I am informing you that I'm releasing you from any responsibility you feel to me."

"... i repeat... huh?" none of that is helping your heart from sinking.

"You seem in need of companionship."

"i have you, don't i?" you say bitterly with a small smile.

"I'm not your companion."

you blink at him trying to ignore how that hurts before smiling again.

"i know. but y'know between you and my usual work i have a full time job."

"Then I will be less demanding of your time. We can move things down to twice a week."

"ok. if that's what you want." you try to hold your tongue around him like you always do but you can't help yourself. "what uh.. what brought this on?"

"I've noticed your behavior and disgust towards me. I apologize for not mentioning it sooner but I wished to be selfish a bit longer." he lowers his head like a kicked puppy.

why does he look like the one who was kicked? you swallow. "dude you gotta be clearer. if you're talking about in the moment like it's just part of the scene."

"After the scene, you always leave."

"yeah so you can clean up."

"No. I know... I know you leave to relieve yourself. I know you have no real interest in me because I'm disgusting to you. I think finding a partner that can help you relieve those things would be more beneficial for you."

you pause and stand there in silence for a moment before letting out a heavy sigh. "you would notice huh? I'm sorry. yeah i try to go jack off before you finish getting clean. its not... its not because you're gross or something. i just don't want to take advantage of you or push you too hard or gross you out. sorry. I'll try to stop. problem solved?"

achilles thinks of biting his tongue before he decides to take a step closer to you. "...You always help me relieve myself why would I find you disgusting?"

"because? i was supposed to kill you. its normal for you to- y'know. but im sure to you i must look like a pretty vile person."

he takes another step forward until he's hovering above you. "It would.. it would be my greatest honor to be killed by you. If you wished to take advantage of my body I would be the luckiest man in the world." one of his cold thin hands slipped into yours.

"if i get off on your pain."

"Ecstasy. I hope my pain is for your pleasure only. My blood, my broken bones, my screams. I.. I have always dedicated them to you."

you intertwine your fingers as you look up into his eyes. his steel blue eyes are looking at you like you're the only thing in the world and his cheeks are red.

"you're a big softie.... i don't want to break your heart or hurt you in a way that won't heal."

"If I was hurt in such a way it would only be because I failed to be your most devoted slave."

"chilles im serious. you... you don't want a rel-"

"I want you only. I want to make you happy. If I can't do that then my life is forfeit."

".... you're gonna regret saying stuff like that."

"If I do then you can also kill me then."

"i'm not gonna kill you suddenly dumbass.... just give me some time to think about it... i really don't want you to be hurt and regret everything"

achilles brought his lips to your hair. "I love you."

"... stupid."

[strwberri-milk]

same anon who asked whether or not I can request for two characters from different fandoms. Since you’ve confirmed that I can, I’d like to request for Wriothesley + Sylus

This is something I suffer with personally, so that explains why I wanted to see what you think they’d do. Basically, reader has severe separation anxiety and abandonment issues. They think it’s just ‘clinginess’ at first but then they start realising how abnormal this ‘clinginess’ is when they have to leave reader to attend something important and reader desperately clinging onto them. They quickly realise what’s actually going on and it gets to a point where they’re scared of leaving reader alone at home because they’re worried she might end up hurting herself.

Sorry if I was too detailed. You can skip over the details and just write them with a GN or fem reader that has separation anxiety. Thank youu! 💕

i get this bc i also have bad abandonment issues but also i do reccoemend that you try to talk to people you're worried about leaving you more transparently and seeing if you can get some more security in your relationships/try to untrain yourself from the assumption that you'll be left because as im sure you know this constant dread is very exhausting but i promise you people arent going to abandon you that easily - i didnt want to go into details about reader hurting themseleves bc once things get to that point relationships can become toxic and im not a big fan of stuff like that at the moment!!

Sylus doesn't realise just how clingy you are until the twins and Mephisto report it to him when he goes on his business trip. You had a hard time letting him go but he thought that was you playing with him and being dramatic so he brushed it off. You're grown, and he knows that despite how needy you are you'd be fine by yourself. Or at least he thought you would be.

When he comes home you refuse to let him out of your sight, or if he does need to leave you're blowing up his phone. He doesn't mind showering you in attention but he's also worried for you, not wanting to make you feel as though he's going to randomly just leave you one day.

He spends his days subtly implying to you that he isn't leaving you that easily. He doesn't say anything to you about how he suspects you're having some problems with abandonment, simply deciding to make it so that you don't have to doubt his feelings for you. He never ends a conversation without reminding you how much he loves you, texts you whenever he's going to be running late, and makes an effort to reach out whenever he's thinking about you (which is pretty much all the time). Slowly but surely you gain confidence in him at the very least, making it a little easier for you to let him leave for longer periods of time.

Wriothesley clocks it pretty quickly, noting how you can't handle it when he tries to go on patrols and with help from Sigewinne who points it out when he's trying to figure out what's wrong with you. Rather than taking a passive approach he "confronts" you head on, telling you what he thinks and asking if he's right. It takes you a second but you decide to nod, admitting that his assumption is indeed correct.

He takes the information in slowly, mind beginning to come up with ways he can try and help alleviate this burden you feel. He asks you what the best ways to assuage your doubt would be, what sorts of things he can do to make you feel less anxious when he's gone. He knows he could be better at communicating with you when he's off on longer jobs, trying to find some middle ground for the two of you to sit on so he can both get work done and keep you happy.

You aren't sure what to make of it at first, finding things a little overwhelming with how anxious you are. However, thanks to his consistency you can feel yourself relaxing, the fear of separation and abandonment no longer hanging over your head as heavily.

[scary-grace]

if my heart was a house (chapter 2) - a shigaraki x f!reader fic

It's been nineteen years since Tomura was sentenced to death, and you've built a life in the space he left behind, braced each day for the worst. You're prepared for everything - the questions your daughter asks, the memories that sting a little more in the winter, the specter of the news you've been afraid of for years. But of all the things life's thrown your way, it's the one you haven't dared to hope for might be the one thing you can't handle. (cross-posted to Ao3) The prequel can be found here: what I can't remember nowwritten for @pixelcafe-network's Challenge Friday event! Banner/divider by @cafekitsune

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

It’s freezing when you step out of the community center, and only the fact that Chihiro’s waiting for you to pick her up at school prevents you from going right back in and borrowing a scarf and gloves from the bin of spares. You knew you should have dressed more warmly, but you didn’t realize there’d be so much wind. By the time you make to the car, your teeth are chattering, and the car always takes longer to warm up than you want it to. You moved to Hokkaido nineteen years ago because it was the last place anyone would look for you, and no one’s found you yet. You just wish the price of privacy didn’t include freezing your ass off in the moonless polar night.

You think Chihiro worries about you a little less lately. You’ve gone to a month of pottery classes, and you make sure to respond to messages in the PTA moms’ group text every so often, and once when Kaori’s crazy mom asked you to get tea, you agreed. You left that conversation feeling like you’d been through a tornado, but the important thing is that you’re trying. That Chihiro sees you trying. That when she moves away for school, her worry for you won’t hold her back.

Her comment about you not having friends hit a little too close to home, and it’s still hanging around in your head. You used to have friends — Tomura’s friends, and some of your own. You loved them. You know they loved you. Half the reason you survived Tomura’s arrest and trial was because they were with you, suffering the same way, helpless to stop anything that was happening and trying all the same. Knowing all of that, it makes even less sense that you ran from them afterward.

But that’s always been who you are. When you’re hurt, when you’re scared, when you’re sad, you pull back from the world. You don’t like having your feelings where other people could see, and if you didn’t like having your feelings in front of anybody, there was no way you were having your baby in front of Tomura’s friends. You weren’t interested in how they felt about it. You didn’t want to hear what they’d say. And you didn’t want them involved, constantly circling, reminding you of everything you lost. Reminding your baby, once they were old enough to understand. Your new new job (you lost the first new one), your apartment, your friends, your city — it all started to feel like a prison. You could run, so you did.

Lately, though, you’ve been thinking about them. Enough to look them up and see that Toga’s a fairly well-known costume designer, and wish you could talk sewing with her; find out that Dabi’s doing okay, when you’d been worried ever since you met him that he’d wind up in prison; learn that Spinner’s a writer with a popular series of detective novels, famous for mercilessly skewering the police over their incompetence and corruption. You’ve thought about reaching out, seeing if they know anything about Tomura’s situation, if they’ve heard anything from him. Then you decided it wasn’t worth it. You don’t want to find out that he’s spent nineteen years talking to them and not to you.

Your car finally warms up. You take a deep breath, shove the thought of your old friends away, and drive.

Someone’s car spun out on the route you planned to take to the high school, and you call Chihiro to let her know you’ll be a little late. She doesn’t answer, but she probably just busy. The choir director is kind of a hardass, but Chihiro worships the ground she walks on, and she’d never interrupt a rehearsal for something like a call from her probably-clingy mom. You are a little clingy. You just don’t ever want her to wonder where you are. To spend even a second doubting that you’ll be there when she needs you.

You get to the school, park, and switch idly between channels on the radio, skipping away whenever you hear a snatch of the news. The choir kids trickle out of school slowly, talking through chattering teeth, and scatter to their parents’ cars. You watch for Chihiro, knowing that she stays late to talk to the choir director sometimes. But then the lights in the music room go out. The choir director steps out, locking the door behind her, and fear like you’ve never experienced in your life floods through you.

It feels like acid in your veins. You lurch out of your car and get in the director’s way as she heads for hers. “Where’s Chihiro?”

“She left at the break,” the director says. “Typically I don’t allow it, but she’s an excellent student and she’s never asked before —”

Chihiro left. Chihiro left school an hour ago. You can barely speak. “What happened? Did she get sick? Why didn’t you call me —”

“She said she would,” the director says, bewildered. “She didn’t?”

“If she’d called me, I’d have picked her up already.” Your voice stutters, fractures. “What happened?”

“She and her friends were discussing something. A news article, I think. I doubt that’s what caused it.” The director is frowning now, disconcerted to your terrified. “When we resumed practice, she was distraught, and asked to be excused early.”

Distraught. You’ve never heard anybody use that word to describe your daughter. “Did she say why?”

“She needed to go home. She said it was a family emergency.”

A family emergency? You’re her family. Your parents passed away when she was in middle school and you and your brother haven’t spoken in years. What family is she talking about? You don’t need that answer right now. You need to find her. “Thank you,” you choke out, and run back to your car.

You and she live five miles outside of town — on a big road that gets plowed and salted, sure, but still outside of town. Could she walk all the way home in an hour? You don’t think so. Not in this weather. And you can’t think of anywhere else she would go. You drive slowly, carefully along the road, your heart rising into your throat at each bend in the road and sinking when the stretch of road ahead of you continues to be empty. Your mind twists in agony. A family emergency. What does that even mean? It crosses your mind that it’s the perfect excuse, one no teacher would ever refuse a student like Chihiro — but why wouldn’t she call you? Why would she start walking home in the dark? What is there that she thinks she can’t bring to you, that you wouldn’t help her with? You’d do anything for her. You just have to find her, and you’ll figure it out.

You catch up to her halfway home, her hands jammed into her pockets and her shoulders hunched against the cold, her breath billowing out in a frozen cloud. The relief of finding her lasts for only a second. Now you need to get her home. You flip on your hazard lights and slow to a crawl alongside her, rolling down your window. “Chihiro, get in the car!”

She doesn’t answer. Doesn’t even look your way. “I’m so glad I found you, but I don’t understand,” you say. “You must be freezing. Why didn’t you call me? I was so scared –”

You’re making this about you. It’s not about you. “Chihiro, please get in the car. I just want you to be safe. I love you —”

“Shut up!” She wheels on you, and you hit the brakes, more in shock than anything else. Your daughter’s eyes are swollen and bloodshot with tears, and her lips are cracked and bleeding in the cold. Her mouth is turned down like you haven’t seen it in more than a decade, but her eyes are hot with rage. “Don’t come near me. Don’t even talk to me. I didn’t call you because I hate you. I hate you! How could you do that to me?”

“Do what?” you ask.

“Lie,” Chihiro spits, or sobs. “How long were you going to lie to me, Mom? Were you ever going to tell me the truth about my dad?”

Your stomach drops. How did she find out? How many people know? “I never lied,” you say. “I never told you he was dead. I always told you —”

“He’s gone.” Chihiro’s nose is dripping. She looks frozen. “Don’t play that stupid game. You knew what I thought you meant when you say that, and you just let me think — you were always going to let me think he was —”

“How did you find out?”

“That’s all you care about? I hate you —”

Right now, you hate yourself, too. It hurts to hear Chihiro say that, hurts to know she’s so angry with you that she’d rather freeze than spend even a second in the car with you — but your feelings don’t matter right now. They stopped mattering nineteen years ago. This is about your daughter. You shove your feelings to one side. “You hate me,” you repeat, and she scoffs. “You can hate me just as much in the car as you can out there, and the car is warm.”

Chihiro squints at you as she wipes her eyes. “It’s not that far. I can walk.”

“Yeah. But it’ll take you another hour, and it’ll just keep getting colder.” You swallow the lump in your throat. “I won’t try to talk to you. In the car or when we’re home. Just — please, get in the car, Chihiro. You don’t have to hurt yourself to let me know you’re angry.”

“I’m not angry, Mom. This is way beyond angry.” Chihiro takes a deep breath and coughs on the cold air. “If you try to talk to me, I’m getting out again.”

You don’t deserve to feel relieved, but you do. You put the car in park and unlock the passenger-side door. “Okay.”

The drive home is awful, but at least it’s brief. The first thing Chihiro does after taking off her shoes and coat is head straight for the bathroom. The water switches on in the shower, and you’ll bet it’s scalding hot. She must be so cold. And so angry with you, angry enough to override her better judgment and drive her out onto the road alone. Is she right about you? Were you ever going to tell her the truth about Tomura? You don’t know. But you should have seen this coming, somehow. You could have seen it coming, would have, if you were doing anything but hiding from your own pain. Of course Chihiro’s furious with you. You deserve it.

Deserving it doesn’t make it hurt any less, so like always, you find something to keep you busy. You set out clean pajamas for Chihiro on her bed. Then you finish folding the laundry, emptying the dishwasher, folding the quilts that are still strewn across the couch from Chihiro’s movie night with Kaori over the weekend. After that it’s time to sew, and even with the focus paper-piecing takes and the noise of the sewing machine, you can’t shut out a single question: How did she find out?

The water in the shower shuts off. You hear Chihiro’s footsteps in the hallway, then the sound of her bedroom door shutting. Shutting, not slamming. You abandon your sewing machine, planning to go to your bedroom and stay there, leaving her the kitchen and the living room and not coming out until she goes to sleep. You don’t want her to have to look at you. Or maybe you just don’t want to see how she looks at you now.

The thought stops you at the threshold. You’ve made everything about what’s happened into something about you. Who are you helping by going to hide? Yourself. You’re protecting yourself from your daughter’s anger, which she deserves to express, and from the questions she probably wants to ask, which you should have answered a long time ago. You can’t hide. You need to stay here and be the person — the parent — you should have been all along. Even if it’s too late.

You hear the bedroom door open, but you don’t turn, and Chihiro comes closer with soft footsteps. She stops at the edge of the kitchen. “What are you doing?”

“Making hot chocolate. Do you want some?”

“You’re being weird,” Chihiro says. She sounds unnerved. “I told you I hate you. Why aren’t you yelling? You’re not even crying. Do you even care?”

Your heart breaks a little bit, even as a surge of frustration rocks you. “It hurts to hear you say that,” you admit. No more lying. From here on out, you tell the truth. “But I don’t think it hurts as much as finding out your mom’s been lying to you for eighteen years.”

Chihiro’s quiet. She’s quiet, and you’re not trying to downplay what you did or run away from it, so you ask a question of your own. “How did you find out?”

The electric kettle goes off with a click. “The water’s done,” Chihiro says. “Are you making hot chocolate or not?”

She reminds you so much of Tomura — that same bluntness, that same impatience, that same affinity for cutting the knot. “Yeah. And some for you.”

Once you’ve both got your cups, you head to the living room. Chihiro unfolds all the blankets you folded earlier and burrows into them, and you sit in the armchair and pull your feet up and away from the floor. She watches you over the rim of her cup. “It’s weird when you do that,” she says. “It makes you look really young.”

It’s quiet for a second. “I guess you are kind of young. They said in school that most people don’t have kids until they’re thirty, and you were only twenty-two when you had me.”

“Yeah,” you say. “Four years older than you.”

It sounds wrong when you say it. Too young. Way too young. Chihiro looks unsettled. “I wouldn’t have a kid when I was twenty-two,” she says. “Why did you?”

You take a sip of hot chocolate, trying to calm your nerves. “I’ll tell you that and everything else. I want to know how you found out first.”

Chihiro’s eyes narrow, but to your surprise, she answers. “Takako at school — she watches that true-crime show. The one you don’t let me watch.”

“I never said you couldn’t watch it. I just said not on the TV out here,” you say. Chihiro rolls her eyes. “Your computer in your room is fair game.”

“My computer doesn’t get cable.”

“So pirate it,” you say with a shrug, and Chihiro nearly chokes on her next sip of hot chocolate. “I never said you couldn’t watch it at all.”

“Yeah. Like you never actually said my dad was dead,” Chihiro says. Ouch. “Do you want me to tell you or what? She watches that show, and you’re not the only mom who’s weird about it, so she tells us all about the episodes when they come out. I guess this week’s episode was about this guy Shigaraki Tomura who killed his whole family, and how he’s been on death row longer than anybody else in Japan. So we looked him up to see if he’s still alive — I guess the episodes get made in advance — and there were pictures of him at his trial. He has the same birthmark I do.”

You nod. “And the same eyes. Ever since you were a baby.”

Chihiro looks down into her cup. “One of my friends joked about it. I thought it was funny, so I laughed. But then I was thinking about it, and the — timing, I guess. And I realized you never said he was dead. My whole life, that was what I thought, but it wasn’t what you said.”

She takes another sip of hot chocolate. “I was looking at the pictures. From the trial, and you were in them. Your hair looked different, but I knew it was you. And I guess I — there was this one picture. From his sentencing. You’re holding his hands.”

You hadn’t realized someone snapped a photo, but you should have known. Your fingers still ache from the memory. Chihiro looks up, her eyes glassy again. “It’s him, isn’t it? My dad’s Shigaraki Tomura.”

“That’s him,” you say. You can’t call your voice steady. Flat might be better. “What do you want to know?”

“Why,” Chihiro says at once. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“There were a lot of reasons,” you say. “I think my main one was trying to protect you.”

“From him?”

“No,” you say. “From everybody else. I don’t know if you read any of the articles about the trial, but the way they talked about him — and about me — was awful. People treated me differently, and I was just his girlfriend. I didn’t want anybody to do anything to you because of who your father was.”

“I got in fights anyway. Because I didn’t have a dad.” Chihiro’s voice is dull. “Maybe if they’d known who he was it would have been different.”

“Maybe.” You take a sip of your own hot chocolate, even though it’s getting hard to swallow. “That was part of it. Part of it was that I didn’t want you to grow up with that hanging over your head. Knowing that your dad was on death row and not even being able to visit him.”

“You said he didn’t know about me. Was that a lie, too?”

“I tried to tell him,” you say. “I called, and wrote letters, and tried to visit — he never wanted to see me. And he never answered.”

Your voice wavers slightly. You don’t try to fight it. Fighting it makes it worse. “I wanted to. He wouldn’t let me.”

Chihiro looks disturbed. “So that picture —”

“That’s the last time I saw him,” you say, and Chihiro’s expression collapses. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry about that.” Chihiro lets go of her cup to wipe her eyes. “Why else didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I was selfish,” you say. It hurts to admit it, to admit that what you swore you were doing for Chihiro’s own good was for you all along. But you have to be honest. You’ve lied to her, by omission or on purpose, enough for a lifetime. “I didn’t want to think about what happened. Any of it. And if you didn’t know — if nobody knew — then I wouldn’t have to talk about it ever again.”

Chihiro wipes her eyes a second time. You keep talking, your throat aching more in every word. “I didn’t wake up one morning and decide not to tell you about Tomura. It just happened —”

“And kept happening. For eighteen years.”

She’s not going to let you get away with anything. The fact that you know she shouldn’t doesn’t make it any less frustrating. “Yeah. Eighteen years. I did it because it would make things easier, for me. Because it wouldn’t hurt as much, for me. I was thinking a lot about me and I should have been thinking about you.”

Chihiro looks away. “Do you think he did it?”

“Chihiro —”

“He confessed,” Chihiro says. “He said he did it.”

Yeah, Tomura confessed. They interrogated him for twenty days straight before they got anything out of him, and when you came to visit him again before the trial, he looked like something had broken inside of him. He seemed out of it, too. He barely recognized you, barely knew you were there. You don’t know what they did to him in there, but you trust that confession even less than you trust the testimony his adoptive father gave. “He confessed,” Chihiro repeats, her voice rising. She fumbles her phone out of her pocket, unlocks it one-handed. “Do you think he did it?”

She’s looking something up. You remember all at once how Chihiro stumbled on him in the first place. “Did they execute him? Chihiro, tell me —”

“Do you think he did it?” she demands, and you shake your head. You were there at the trial. Every day. You never saw anything that made you believe he was guilty. Chihiro squeezes her eyes shut and holds out her phone towards you. “You were right.”

Some part of you registers what she just said, but it doesn’t stick. It bounces off the surface and vanishes, because Chihiro has a news site open, with a bright red BREAKING NEWS banner across the top. SHIGARAKI TOMURA EXONERATED AFTER NINETEEN YEARS ON DEATH ROW.

You spend one wild second panicking at the sight of an “ex” word in the same sentence as Tomura’s name and “death row��, but then you force yourself to go back. Exonerated. Not executed, exonerated. You lift the phone out of Chihiro’s hands and she lets you take it — with a caveat. “Read it out loud, okay? So I know we both saw the same thing.”

You start reading, your voice rattling. “In a time of rising crime, escalating drug trafficking, and a loss of trust in our institutions, the accused mass murderer Shigaraki Tomura became the avatar for Japan’s worst nightmares: A remorseless killer, hiding amongst the innocent, ready to strike at any time. Those who questioned the scant evidence the prosecutor provided were ridiculed. Those who believed that his confession to the murders of his parents, his grandparents, and his older sister was the product of coercion were reviled. Nineteen years later, they and the man they spoke up for have seen justice served.”

Your eyes are burning. You blink back tears and keep reading. “In a stunning but well-reasoned decision released on Monday afternoon, the Supreme Court reversed all seven murder convictions against Shigaraki Tomura in light of new evidence uncovered in the course of an entirely different investigation. Midoriya Izuku, a prosecutor turned human-rights advocate, became interested in Shigaraki’s case while working to restore another inmate’s right to visits from his adoptive father — fuck!”

Chihiro looks up. “Huh?”

“Sorry. It’s just — he called me,” you say. “Midoriya Izuku. He’s been calling. I didn’t know why.”

“It’s weird when you swear,” Chihiro notes. You mumble an apology. “Keep reading.”

“Upon reviewing the available evidence and pursuing new investigations, Midoriya made a motion for a retrial, which was granted by the Supreme Court and conducted under terms of absolute secrecy in order to avoid the media circus that ensued during Shigaraki’s original trial. The Court has agreed to release all documents related to Shigaraki’s case and is expected to do so within the next twenty-four hours. Some sources have indicated that a different suspect in the Shimura family’s murders has already been taken into custody, but no official confirmation has been received.”

Your hands are shaking now, so hard you almost drop Chihiro’s phone in your cup of hot chocolate. “Mom?” Chihiro says, and you look up, blinking hard. “Do you know who they arrested?”

Your first inclination is to ask why she thinks you of all people would know, but you clamp down on that. Even though the world’s just been yanked out from beneath your feet, your daughter is still the injured party. And when you think about it, you do have some idea of who it is. “His adoptive dad. He was the one who had custody of Tomura when the murders happened, and he was really excited to cooperate with the investigation.”

“Custody?” Chihiro repeats. “How old was he when he — when they died?”

“Fifteen,” you say. “If you’re older than fourteen when you commit a crime, they can try you as an adult.”

“You think his fake dad set him up,” Chihiro says. You nod. “Is there more to read?”

“A little bit.”

Chihiro scoots over on the couch, making a space, and you sit down next to her. She has to wake up her phone again for you to keep reading, and you get the jumpscare of SHIGARAKI TOMURA EX- a second time before scrolling down to where you left off. “Although a release date has not been announced publicly, it is the view of this magazine that Shigaraki should be released from prison as quickly as possible. He has paid a debt to society that was never owed in the first place. When Shigaraki Tomura is released from Fuchu Prison, he will walk out a free man. Society’s atonement for the crime it committed against him is only beginning.”

You glance at the byline out of habit. This article was written by Kizuki Chitose, and if you remember right, the last article she wrote about Tomura struck a pretty different note. She’d better start atoning right now. You’d be happy to help. Balling up every single scathing editorial and hit job she wrote and jamming them down her throat feels like it would be a good start.

“It’s real,” Chihiro says. You nod. “He’s getting out.”

You nod again. You’re with Kizuki on wanting Tomura to be released as quickly as possible. You’re just not sure what happens next.

Chihiro’s thinking along the same lines. “Mom, what are we going to do?”

“We’ll figure it out,” you promise her. She leans in against your side, and some horrible part of you exults. With the chaos that’s about to unfold, Chihiro can’t afford to hate you any longer — or if you stop thinking about it like an asshole, she doesn’t know what’s going to happen and you’re the person she turns to. It doesn’t matter that you don’t know any more than she does. You’re the adult, but something happened to you when you read that headline. Somehow it feels like no time has passed at all; like he was just torn away from you, like you’re a lonely, hopeless twenty-two-year-old with a baby on the way all over again.

But you aren’t. You made it this far. Your baby turned eighteen this year, and you managed to raise her close enough to right. “We’ll figure it out,” you promise her again. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

“Maybe you were right,” Chihiro mumbles. “It would have been harder if I knew all this time.”

You think so. It’s still not an excuse. You wrap your arm around your daughter’s shoulders and hug her closer, relieved beyond words when she doesn’t pull away. You’ll take care of her first — make sure she eats, make sure she gets some sleep, because you know from experience how much harder everything becomes without it. And after she’s fallen asleep, you’ll finally return Midoriya Izuku’s calls.

<- Chapter 1

[biteofcherry]

Helloooooo I have a question about got Steve, how would he handle/react to omega going through a bout of burnout at work?

Grain of Truth

Alpha Steve Rogers x omega female reader

warnings: none; it's pure comfort and fluff, and Steve being bossy;

As you type away the summary of your last patient's visit, your fingers smack into the keyboard with more force and less grace than usually. But it was either murdering the keyboard, or snapping in annoyance at your patient.

And you wouldn't do that.

You are professional. To the point of knowing that it's not really the patient's fault that irritation bubbles inside of you.

It's the burden of the past six months of working dutifully, dealing with a shitload of new bureaucracy politics, struggling with limitations set by the healthcare department.

The weeks of work that feels like swimming against the current.

But you're going to push through. You have to. Your patients are counting on you (and on your ability to stop yourself from strangling them).

Saving your report, you take a deep breath and silently pray there are still some danish pastries in the lounge room. Darcy brought them this morning, but since you had sessions back to back you weren't sure if the flock of clinic employees haven't devoured them all already.

If there's none left, it's possible you will snap and go on a murder spree. Or break down in tears.

Before you make it to the door, however, they open and a familiar, huge silhouette fills the frame.

"Steve?" You look at him, surprised.

"Omega." There's the usual softness to his tone, but the way his gaze scans your form is leveling up the disapproval.

"You look tired." He frowns, stepping inside and closing the door behind you.

"Way to compliment your mate." You glare at him.

Perhaps it would convey your annoyance, if the moment wasn't ruined by your stomach growling loudly. Which in turn makes Steve's frown deepen and his disapproving glower harden.

"Please, tell me you didn't skip lunch." He asks, but you know the please is just a decorative chime, because your Alpha is dropping into his dominating, commanding state.

You are tempted to say you didn't skip lunch, which would be a lie and both of you know it.

"I was about to eat," you say instead. "There are some pastries in-"

"That's it. I'm taking you home." Steve announces.

"What? No! I have reports to finish and materials to prepare for tomorrow, and-"

"And you've been overworking yourself for the past weeks. You come back home half dead, you're moody, less focused, you skip meals. You cursed and almost cried when you picked up a phone call from Maria a few days ago, because you were scared she wanted you to take an additional shift."

You're about to counter his points, because even if those bits are somewhat true, it doesn't mean he can just barge in and decide you're going home.

But there's another sentence that falls from his lips, another change he notices. When he says it, he sounds really worried and angry - not at you, but at your state. At the state your work has put you in.

"You haven't watered your plants in almost two weeks."

To someone outside, it would sound ridiculous and like the least important change. But Steve knows you so well. He knows your patterns and recognizes which changes are the most alarming ones.

It's true. Your plants still bring you joy, you love having them and looking at them, but you haven't been able to make yourself move your ass and water them.

Sometimes it happened, that you skipped a day or two from your usual watering routine. Missing over a week was a drastic change. But you just couldn't make yourself do anything. You just wanted to drop into bed, sleep dead, because you had to get up in the morning and return to work.

That damn, fucking work.

"I can't just-" you let out a sigh and try to reason with him.

Even if you're feeling like crying, because your Alpha has noticed your strain and is ready to battle whatever is draining you, you can't just pack up and leave.

"But I can." Steve nearly growls. Not in that fun, hot way.

He steps closer, grabs your handbag from the shelf and hooks it over his shoulder. Then, before you even decipher his intention, he swiftly picks you up.

Instinctively, your arms wrap around his neck.

"Steve!" You squeak. "Don't be ridiculous! Put me down and let me work."

"No." His tone is unyielding.

"Steve!"

"Maria prides herself on being the most efficient clinic manager, she can put her skills to use and deal with you taking a vacation." Your Alpha says as he basically kicks the door open and carries you out, without an ounce of shame, or hesitation.

"You will take leave, Omega." Steve growls and this time there's that pure Alpha timbre to it that sends a shiver down your spine. If you weren't so exhausted, you'd probably be instantly aroused.

"If I have to tie you up to the bed to have you take a break and relax, I will."

"You can't solve everything by being so damn bossy," you grumble, but don't put any fight against his hold.

"Watch me." Steve challenges, being his typical smug Alpha asshole.

He yanks you up a bit and tilts his hold so that your head rests on his shoulder, closer to the crook of his neck where his scent is so prominent and soothing.

You nuzzle into that spot on instinct, taking a deep whiff and feeling your muscles relax as you're cocooned in your Alpha's protectiveness.