#i can't believe that requires saying like goddamn y'all

[fiona-fififi]

...

[dawolfboris-again]

Oh! I never thought about the Shrine of Resurrection being a somewhat cause in that. It makes sense, though, that it would be. At a technical fault I just assumed he was being waterboarded for a hundred something years, I didn't really think much of that.

But another thing, too- What we see in his memories.

Link looks very thin in his memories, the same form as what we see in his current state. Would this make him more akin to a body builder? He most likely would have eaten a regular three meals, and probably way more with whatever the hell Zelda could have been feeding him in her ideas of a "controlled environment." Link still looks way malnourished, and that isn't the Shrine's fault at that point.

His time as a knight during those memories doesn't include continuous fight, either. I know we see a lot of Lore Accurate Link in those memories, but it's not in /every/ memory (I'm typing this on mobile oof). In a couple of them, we see he travels on horse or is otherwise walking or standing about (excluding the, uh... guardian shit.) He still looks malnourished. I'm sure the Knight Academy is making sure that all of their Knights are receiving three or so meals a day, plus at least 8 hours of sleep. He's not tired or hungry then, so what's up there?

Then, when we go back to the future and out of the past, we also have to assume one thing too.

Mipha's Grace.

She has the power to heal Link entirely, which she does whenever the player dies. Which is... quite a lot from every jump in the multiverse (if we assume she's doing it in every multiverse. As far as I know, speedrunners shouldn't be included.)

I understand that during the fight with the Guardians, Link doesn't have access to Mipha. Nor her power. They're separated by what is essentially a few miles, plus Mipha is stuck within her divine beast at this point, whether she knows it or not.

But after the blight fight, she's free, and she even says it herself during the cutscene after (which I don't remember exactly what she said but I believe it was akin to "Ruta, we're finally free thanks to Link." before she wonders if her dad is ok.) She gave Link the power to use whenever he accidentally k--ls himself (which is pretty much everyone at this point) not to mention that, while we see him floating in the cutscene, that SURELY would do something to him, as when we see the other cutscenes with the other Champions once freed, he uses their power damn near immediately.

That was most likely Mipha /healing/ him entirely.

Now, understandably, his model couldn't really change (despite all the other efforts they put in the game, as well as TOTK) because that's a bunch of effort, but wouldn't it still be easier to see a slow build after every stop or so at a bed, campfire, or cutscene/Shrine teleport? With Mipha's continuous healing (and this may be assuming you did Vah Ruta first) his body should have been at peak again, even if he would still be in pain. Link's a little goddamn gremlin, whether Lore Accurate or not because Lore Accurate canonically ate rocks, and I'm sure that the player made him rocks in one way or another, either by Dubious food or by a good recipe.

Link, though, has an opportunity to go through massages. And the wandering players probably gave him some, especially if they heard it could give him some good benefits (I mean, who wouldn't want a massage if it had amazing benefits? I just feel bad for the Gerudo who end up seeing Link's... uh... stuff. At least they're kind enough to not report him. (Having been massaged by my now deceased mom, it does require that you are at least in your underwear (and a bra, for the women. I'm sure just having some of your plain chest on a table isn't really comfortable for y'all shes and feminine theys.) The Gorons probably massage you in a deep freezer to keep you from getting third degree burns. At least... I'd hope they do... Link is essentially in a cage and can't exactly be massaged when in it. The Gorons would be massaging a cage, that's not real good for anyone's health imo)

Now, a massage typically doesn't bring you to perfect health in the real world, but it still can help some with the bad joints and cramps in your muscles, which is what Link most likely needed in his world. And Mipha's Grace would definitely help bring him to his whole self- his muscles, fat and anything else that would need to come back.

Dehydration is still a rather huge issue, as we never really see Link drink much, if anything. How the boy wouldn't die after a couple in game days is beyond me, but then again, Link, at 19, has shown himself more than capable of anything, seeing as how he pulled the Master Sword out of it's pedestal at what. 9? King Rhoam probably knew what the rude ass fucker was doing in the Great Plateau.

There's also ToTK.

Link /still/ is thin as hell. And this is six years AFTER BotW. Link would have more than enough of a capability to eat and drink whatever his heart desires, and since he lives in Hateno near a store, he could purchase food and cook. They gave him a different model for the arm, I'm sure it wouldn't have been too hard for him to have a separate few models for him to have a huge chub?

Link most likely wouldn't need to fight anymore, and while it's understandable that he'd keep fighting so as to not forget his moves, I'm not entirely sure as to what moves could be preventing him from getting thicker.

Link isn't hitting anything that could be having a ton of friction, like Bokoblins, Moblins, Hinoxs or Lizalfos. He's most likely taking it easy and chilling with Zelda in Hateno. That there would give him a little chub. Any fat he lost is fat gained from food in general, and Hylia /knows/ Link is the chef because if he let Zelda cook, neither of them would have a house, and half of Hateno would have to move.

Also I'm 100% sure Link would rather eat that frog than eat Zelda's cooking.

I'm sorry if I'm overloading you, I really am, and I love your response! Really detailed. Also tell your sister-in-law good luck!

You know, for someone who supposedly eats a bunch of food and loves to cook quite a bunch, Link sure does look quite malnourished.

[gon-and-killuas-mother]

oh my god y'all i gotta share an experience that started out a little frustrating and ended up super validating.

also i may or may not be responsible for bringing the wrath of the Health and Safety Department of the zoo onto cafe management, but i know my supervisor was NOT pleased with me (yes it's the same supervisor that tried to fire me a while back for trying to take care of myself)

OK SO my coworkers and i were waiting for someone to bring a golf cart to drive us up to the front, bc i'm still injured and can't walk uphill so might as well take the rest of the cafe staff up too

in comes a few other zoo staff members, including the head of the Health and Safety Department (we'll call him Eric) and two other guys that work with him (we'll call them Guy 1 and Guy 2). they wanted to check in with our acting manager about something, but she wasn't there yet so they waited with us and started chatting.

at some point, Eric joked with a coworker about how the cafe staff gets to leave earlier than the rest of the zoo, maybe we should stay until 4:30 (he wasnt serious at all, bc he didn't know that i had stayed even later than that on a regular basis before).

i spoke up, trying to maintain a joking manner, and told him if we were gonna close that late then we should be getting breaks (the cafe staff are the only people in the whole goddamn zoo that doesn't get a single break)

Eric and both of his coworkers looked at me real confused and told me we were legally required to get a 15 min break every four hours. i told them that no, our state does not require employers to give their staff a break at all.

they tried arguing with me, which was the frustrating part. "But the federal law requires at least 15 minute breaks!"

i have stopped hiding my bitterness at this point and told them that the last time i tried to report an employer for giving us barely any break, the state department of labor informed me that it technically wasn't a violation if we weren't given breaks.

they weren't convinced yet, but at this point we're also talking about other bullshit loopholes the zoo/city government was pulling to avoid giving us benefits. Eric starts looking something up on his phone, or he's asking someone about labor law specifics.

my supervisor was there the whole time and tries to say that we have enough "downtime" during slow days that it counts as a break (it does not) and implied that we weren't really working that hard since we're on our phones and chatting (fuck you for that btw)

Eric starts asking her questions, making it sound like he's agreeing with her, but i think he was just fishing for information here.

supervisor leaves, and i'm still waiting for a ride up front so i keep chatting with Eric and the others

Eric finally looks up from his phone with a real pissed look and goes "The law was changed recently. It's at the employer's discretion to give their workers a break."

Guy 1 and Guy 2 are shocked, and i'm a little surprised at them for it bc i have been there since last September and we have never been given breaks. how are these guys not aware of it? they see us busy during the lunch rush almost every day and never wondered?

Eric walks out and he just looks mad. I'm trying to reign in my anger at my supervisor for what she said before, but I manage to tell them bye before I hobble out

I guess I didn't realize that no one else knew what went on in the cafe. we're on our feet for 6 to 7 hours and there's rarely time to sit down unless we push for it. so now that the head of the health and safety department knows, even if there aren't any legal grounds to kick up a fuss over it, he might just have a thing or two to say to our bosses.

as for my supervisor? i am willing to believe she thinks we don't need breaks. and now i'm wondering if she and our guest services manager (our boss) were intentionally keeping that quiet

anyways what the fuck

[saccharinesatoru]

on THAT note though, i wanna take this time to tell y'all what houses i think each neo would be sorted into:

taeyong: despite the fact that he's the leader of nct and thus being courageous, charismatic, and brave for leading a group of 22 other boys/men (jesus christ), i would say he's def a hufflepuff. without a doubt he's hard-working, patient, and loyal... although he's not always too open to show his emotions... partially, i think, because he doesn't want to burden the other members. he wants to remain strong for the sake of the group so that he can support the others

taeil: hmm... this is... tricky. i would say either a gryffindor or ravenclaw... he's very smart musically, and i would def say he's witty and creative like a ravenclaw. that being said, he's also very playful/funny and passionate like any gryffindor should be. i mean he turned down a college education for the sake of pursuing his dream. damn that requires bravery like that's a big ass risk that requires a lot of courage

johnny: definitely a gryffindor hands down no questions asked. he's like... the ideal gryffindor. the embodiment of it. he's playful, blunt, and doesn't take himself too seriously. quite simply, he enjoys life in the moment. not to mention, like taeil, it takes a lot of courage to leave chicago and train for as long as he did... especially considering how their was no promise of debuting. def a gryffindor.

yuta: i say a slytherin with no doubt. he's like the epitome of bold and charming. not to mention yuta is cunning as hell. yeah no questions asked def a slytherin

kun: damn... now this really is difficult... without a doubt *not* a slytherin. that's for sure. probably a ravenclaw or a hufflepuff. ravenclaw bc he's so smart... like. musically and just. idk everything. man knows how to fly a goddamn plane. he's very creative and curious as all ravenclaws should be. as for hufflepuff qualities, he's very hard-working, loyal, well-rounded, and dependable. it can really go either way. kun is a sweetheart i love him

doyoung: this is kind of... difficult.. might be controversial, but i would honestly say a gryffindor. he has a very strong moral center, and he definitely owns his mistakes. he's honest and passionate. he's also very trusting and stubborn to back down on what he believes in

ten: jesus christ probably one of the easiest in nct. definitely, hands down, undeniably a slytherin. he's the embodiment of a perfectionist. he's very cunning, ambitious, driven, and focused on his goals. easy.

jaehyun: i'm inclined to say gryffindor...? jaehyun's kinda hard to read honestly. i would say gryffindor, because he's easy-going/enjoys and lives life in the moment. he's also very idealistic and playful

winwin: ALSO very difficult to read. i'm inclined to say ravenclaw simply because of how witty he is. he's very quick witted with his comments and humor. remember that ravenclaws aren't just smart and, despite common misconception, they all *don't* have to be book smart/good in school. winwin also seems very independent, analytical, and self-entertaining.

jungwoo: hufflepuff. easy. jungwoo strikes me as very compassionate and open-minded. he seems like he may be hesitant to trust others. his trust isn't easy to earn despite his easy-going demeanor. although once you *do* earn his trust, he's loyal as hell and he'll be with you through thick and thin. he's also very hard-working, genuine, and well-rounded

lucas: SOOO EASY. gryffindor no questions asked. man is charismatic as hell. he's so playful and definitely doesn't take himself too seriously. he's funny, idealistic, and definitely lives life in the moment

mark: hmmm. gryffindor. although he's hard-working, determined, well-rounded, genuine, honest, open-minded, determined, dependable, open-hearted and nearly every other trait of a hufflepuff lmao, i can't imagine him in any other house except for gryffindor. he's practically the definition of charismatic. you can't help but smile and want to be close to him. he lights up whatever room he walks into. he's so SO passionate. and, like johnny, it takes a ton of courage to leave his country and go to sm without any guarantee of debut. the very fact that he took the chance and went to an international audition for sm when he had no *formal* experience with performing is really admirable. he's very funny, playful, and he doesn't take himself too seriously. he also enjoys life in the moment. he also owns/learns from his mistakes and is very experience-oriented. not to mention, he such a great leader with dream

xiaojun: ravenclaw. i say that pretty easily. again, similarly to winwin, remember that ravenclaw doesn't necessarily mean just being really book smart or studious in school. xiaojun is very diligent, creative, and intelligent when it comes to music and performance. although he doesn't seem independent, as most ravenclaws are, he also strikes me as an observer more than a participant, witty, and inquisitive. plus he speaks a lot of languages with requires a lot of learning and studying, as well as dedication for knowledge

hendery: pretty easily i can say hufflepuff. he's easy-going, honest, good-hearted, and genuine. not to mention, he's also very hard-working and passionate.

renjun: some sort of combo of ravenclaw and slytherin. i say ravenclaw because he's incredibly witty and sarcastic. he's also very creative (think about his art), inquisitive, and curious. then again, i say slytherin because of his drive, ambition, and determination. not to mention he's very much so a perfectionist. that being said, he doesn't strike me as being confident/extroverted enough to be a slytherin so probably a ravenclaw.

jeno: hmm. i wanna say hufflepuff or gryffindor... he's hard-working, determined, loyal, good-hearted, and dependable without a doubt. not to mention he doesn't show/flaunt his emotions easily. then again, i would say gryffindor because of his passion, courage, playfulness, and trust. again, similarly to mark, he has led dream very well both in mark's absence and even now that dream has been (rightfully) reunited

haechan/hyuck: no doubt. 2000000000000% a slytherin. jesus christ. no questions asked. the epitome of a perfectionist. he is so cunning and ambitious. he's very, very determined, driven, and goal-oriented. if this boy wants something, he's gonna find a way to get it. he's also very adaptable, charming (see his effortless charm on variety shows), bold, and assertive. not to mention he's able to use his intelligence to achieve what he wants. no questions asked.

jaemin: AGAIN a slytherin. so easily. boy is the definition of charming. he's very ambitious and driven. he also seems very self-reliant, subtle, and adaptable. he's also very realistic and prepared for any situation. so easy

yangyang: hmmm. hmmmmmmmmmm. like, *yes*, he seems very funny, playful, and passionate like a gryffindor, but honestly? i would say hufflepuff. he's very hard-working, determined, and genuine. not to mention, he's also very well-rounded and good-hearted.

shotaro: EASY. hufflepuff. this boy is such a sweetheart. he's so easy-going, passionate, and good-hearted. he seems very genuine and open-minded, giving, and compassionate. and it may be a result of being one of the newest neos and not wanting to burden other members, but he doesn't seem like the type to easy flaunt/reveal his emotions.

sungchan: hm. this is actually pretty hard. like i see him everywhere except ravenclaw. he doesn't strike me as cunning enough to be a slytherin so i won't say that. although, he does feel an urge to prove himself considering he's one of the newest members. it's also pretty hard bc like shotaro, he's fairly new to the neos, and we don't know too much about him. for now, i'm going to say hufflepuff. he seems very hard-working, determined, and well-rounded. he also appears to be loyal and dependable. also, much like a hufflepuffs, he seems unwillingly to reveal his emotions so easily.

chenle: honestly?? i would say slytherin. he's very driven and ambitious. he also seems very self-reliant and realistic. he's also very bold and assertive. extremely confident and loud lmao

jisung: either gryffindor or hufflepuff. like a gryffindors, he's very playful and doesn't take himself to seriously. he lives and enjoys live in the present. he's also very passionate and idealistic- perhaps a bit naive/innocent simply because of how young he is and how sheltered he's been because of being in the entertainment industry at so young. i would also so hufflepuff because he's extremely hard-working, determined, loyal, open-minded/good-hearted, giving, well-rounded, compassionate, and accepting. literally the list goes on. jisung is also a sweetheart.

let me know what you all think!

hey! i love your work! will you be posting anytime soon...? 🥺👉👈 anyways, i wanted to ask about a hogwarts nct au! i'm addicted to the ones i've read on here for far and i wanted to read your take on it 😇💖

yeah! i'm hoping to have show you the ropes done in the next couple of weeks, so look out for a teaser in maybe the next week/week and a half 😗

i love hogwarts aus!! i love harry potter (although jk rowling is underwhelming/disappointing as a person lmao). i've given this a lot of thought bc i have always wanted to write an nct!hogwarts au! no cause imagine slytherin!reader failing a class and having to get tutoring from ravenclaw!renjun. the reader, being a bold as hell slytherin, teasing the fuck out of the shy, introverted renjun until one day renjun just snaps and fucks them stupid lmaooo IN THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENT NONETHELESS OOOOOHHH

and on a much LIGHTER and NONSEXUAL note, imagine a sweet hogwarts au with a gryffindor!jisung trying out for the house quidditch team with quidditch captain!reader even though he's clumsy and not too coordinated..? but he wants to try out just to impress the reader and find a way to spend more time with them 🥺 bc he's had a crush on them for the longest time even since he saw them be sorted in their first year 🥺 and then jisung mustering up the courage to ask the reader to the yule ball but feeling too nervous and shy... jisung warms my heart he's such a angel