#i can’t wait for the interview on Jun 30

[mymitochondriaforpresident]

Omar: After years of invasively being talked about by the public, I would like to keep my private life private at this time.

Fandom: BUT WHAT ABOUT-

Omar:

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

June 3, 2024

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

JUN 04, 2024

The fallout from the New York jury’s conviction of Donald Trump on 34 felony counts last Thursday, May 30, continues. Trump’s team continues to insist that the guilty verdict will help him, but that’s nonsensical on its face: if guilty verdicts are so helpful, why has he moved heaven and earth to keep the many other cases against him from going to trial? And why are he and House speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA) calling for the Supreme Court to overturn the convictions? 

As political consultant Stuart Stevens put it: “I worked in five presidential races and helped elect Republican governors or Senators in over half the country. I have never heard anything more transparently desperate than a party trying to spin that there is some non-MAGA pool of voters who can't wait to vote for a convicted felon.”

On Friday, Morning Consult conducted a poll to gauge how voters were reacting to the guilty verdict. It showed that 54% of registered voters approved of it, while only 34% disapproved. Perhaps worse for Trump was that 49% of Independents and 15% of Republicans thought he should end his campaign. A Reuters/Ipsos poll found that 10% of registered Republican voters and 25% of Independents said that his conviction made it less likely that they would vote for him for president. 

Then, on Saturday, there was what Danny Westneat of the Seattle Times called a plot twist. It turns out the state of Washington has a law on the books that prevents felons from running for office. But because a candidate has to be certified to be on a ballot before they can be challenged, the issue can’t be resolved until Trump officially becomes the Republican Party’s presidential nominee at the July convention. Westneat asked, “Republicans: You sure you want to go down this road?”

On Sunday, Trump appeared on Fox and Friends for his first interview since his conviction. The interview was heavily edited, suggesting his comments were problematic in some way, but what was there was still bad enough. He repeated his plans to fire generals who refuse to do his bidding and to deport immigrants by using local police to round them up. Notably, considering his own looming sentencing, he claimed he never said “lock her up” about Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, a claim that reporters on social media promptly shredded with video clips of him doing exactly that. 

Media figures are puncturing Trump’s image. The verdict buried a story by The Apprentice producer Bill Pruitt, who is now free of a nondisclosure agreement, explaining how he and others created an illusion that Trump was a successful businessman and alleging that Trump used the n-word on set. On Saturday, an image circulated on social media of Trump leaving Trump Tower and waving as if to a crowd, but there was no one there.

Also on Saturday, top sports talk host Colin Cowherd pushed back on the idea that the trial was rigged, telling his listeners: “If everybody in your circle is a felon, maybe it’s not rigged. Maybe the world isn’t against you.” “Donald Trump is now a felon,” Cowherd said. “His campaign chairman was a felon. So is his deputy campaign manager, his personal lawyer, his chief strategist, his National Security Adviser, his Trade Advisor, his Foreign Policy Adviser, his campaign fixer, and his company CFO. They’re all felons. Judged by the company you keep. It’s a cabal of convicts.”

Cowherd went on: “[Trump’s] trying to sell me an America that doesn’t exist.” “Stop trying to sell me on ‘everything’s rigged, the country’s falling into the sea, the economy’s terrible,’” he continued. “The America that I live in is imperfect. But compared to the rest of the world, I think we’re doing okay.”

This morning, Robert Faturechi, Justin Elliott, and Alex Mierjeski of ProPublica reported that Trump’s businesses and campaign committees have funneled significant financial benefits to at least nine witnesses in the criminal campaigns against Trump, often at crucial moments in the legal proceedings. The pay of one campaign aide doubled; another got a $2 million severance package that barred him from cooperating with law enforcement. The daughter of one of the campaign’s top officials was hired onto the staff and is now the fourth-highest-paid employee, with a salary of $222,000. Payments to the companies of certain witnesses dramatically increased.

Faturechi, Elliott, and Mierjeski note that it is not uncommon for bosses to find themselves defendants, complicating their relationship with employees who might have witnessed alleged crimes. In such cases, lawyers advise the defendant not to provide any unusual benefits or penalties, to avoid the appearance of witness tampering.

Trump’s attorney, David Warrington, sent ProPublica a cease-and-desist letter saying that if the outlet and its reporters “continue their reckless campaign of defamation, President Trump will evaluate all legal remedies.” He demanded that ProPublica kill the article, keeping it from publication.

And then, this afternoon, U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York Damian Williams, along with the U.S. Department of Labor and the State Department, unsealed an indictment charging Weidong Guan, also known as Bill Guan, the chief financial officer of the global news outlet The Epoch Times, with using the outlet to launder at least $67 million. The Epoch Times is affiliated with the ultraconservative Chinese anticommunist religious group Falun Gong and supports Donald Trump and other right-wing U.S. politicians with both press and cash. It was a major promoter of Dinesh D’Souza’s film 2000 Mules that claimed the 2020 presidential election was stolen. A voter depicted in that film sued for defamation, and just last week the distributor settled with the plaintiff, issued an apology, and stopped distributing the film.

The allegation that The Epoch Times is a money-laundering operation comes on top of yesterday’s story by Joseph Menn in the Washington Post, reporting that the editor of another media site that pushes disinformation from both the far right and the far left, The Grayzone, has worked for Russia’s Sputnik as well as taken money from Iranian government-owned media. One of the people who retweets Grayzone stories is Senator Mike Lee (R-UT).

In the middle of all this bad news for MAGA Republicans, it felt like desperation today when the House Oversight Select Subcommittee on the Coronavirus Pandemic tried to resurrect Covid conspiracy theories against Dr. Anthony Fauci. Fauci was director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) from 1984 to 2022, serving under seven presidents. President George W. Bush awarded him the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian award in the U.S., for his work on combating the global AIDS epidemic. 

Fauci’s position as NIAID director put him at the center of U.S. attempts to grapple with Covid-19, and for his work on developing a vaccine, Trump awarded him a presidential commendation. But first QAnon and then MAGA Republicans centered him as a villain who either started or covered up the pandemic, or forced people to mask or to get vaccines they told their supporters were unnecessary or even dangerous. QAnon conspiracy theorist Ivan Raiklin and convicted January 6 rioter Brandon Fellows were seated behind Fauci today; Fellows made pouty faces when Fauci was describing the death threats he, his wife, and his daughters have endured. 

Video creator and political commentator Michael McWhorter noted that Raiklin has made dramatic threats of violence against those he considers members of “the Deep State” and that he should have been nowhere near Fauci. McWhorter also noted that the two men were likely invited to the hearing and that it would be useful to know who invited them.  

Committee member Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA), who has skipped seven of the last ten hearings and who has expressed sympathy for QAnon in the past, attacked Fauci by saying he should be prosecuted: “You know what this committee should be doing? We should be writing a criminal referral because you should be prosecuted for crimes against humanity,” she said. “You belong in prison, Dr. Fauci.” For all the nastiness, the hearing turned up nothing.

Later, Greene told Manu Raju of CNN that Speaker Johnson should shut down the government over the Trump verdict and prosecutions. “We're literally a banana republic. So what does it matter funding the government? The American people don't give a sh*t.” 

While MAGA Republicans are insisting that a Manhattan jury’s conviction of Trump means that President Joe Biden has weaponized the Department of Justice and that they must take revenge, the trial of Biden’s son Hunter on federal gun charges, brought by a Trump-appointed U.S. attorney whom Biden kept on, started today. Former top Justice Department prosecutor Andrew Weissmann noted that Biden is “living the rule of law…in the most personal way. He is not telling DOJ to stand down…. He is not pardoning his son…. He is living what it means to have a rule of law in this country…. If you want to know if he believes it, you can actually see what is happening with his own son.”

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

[darlingvernon]

warning: body talk, ed, self-image

Hii on the minghao interview, if you’re up for talking about it

But like, what the hell was that why did the interviewer immediately bring up his body?? Like right as he walked in he’s asking about how he’s so skinny. Also I wish he would’ve at least brought up something along the lines of what Jun has said regarding how it’s their job to uphold the beauty standard.

I don’t know where you’re from, but navigating this as a westerner is difficult.

From a westerners perspective, it’s unnerving to hear them discuss bodies like that. But from a south easterners perspective, there’s less taboo surrounding it. It still gives me the heebie jeebies regardless. I wish it just wouldn’t have been the topic for the interview.

Another reason being that it’s a translation, from Chinese (assumed) to Korean to English. Sure, he goes on to prioritize self-love, but he takes it in an unnecessary direction with using it as motivation to change one’s self to achieve “health”. It feels like there’s an attempt at nuance, and maybe there was in Korean, but if he really wanted nuance he could have brought beauty standards and I don’t know maybe not insinuating that body shapes determine health.

I’m disappointed and quite surprised as it’s coming from Minghao. I remember in the past on Knowing Brothers they were discussion member’s ranking in handsomeness, and Minghao asked to not talk about it. In that moment I could have sworn he was capable of critical thinking. Now I’m not so sure 😫

tw // fatphobia

hello!!

i’m honestly busy today (it’s already nye here and it’s my husbando’s bday) but i thought i’d jump in here quick and answer this to the best i can.

i honestly can’t speak for the whole interview as i didn’t watch it at all and i’m just going by the snippets i’m seeing, but it’s definitely weird that an interviewer is bringing up body image like this.

i’ve seen what jun has said and that the reason they have to look the way that they are is because of their jobs and that ‘weight’ should not be the focus (which is helpful) but he then still alluded to ‘working out to have a nice shape and condition’ which is still a bit iffy honestly. but with minghao, being quite outspoken, didn’t bother to mince his words i guess.

i’m actually originally from a south eastern country, and is someone who was considered “chubby” even as a size 10 (or size 1 in the US i think?). i’m double that now for various reasons including giving birth to two beautiful girls. anyway, i wouldn’t say there’s less taboos there. it’s just… someone from my generation (as someone who is 30+) it was harder for us to speak up, and something we were forced to live with (still up to this day despite being in a somewhat western country). so, i feel sad for everyone that got to hear this, but especially to my fellow sea’s who continually have to live with a society with this mindset and feel like they can’t speak up.

honestly, i can only pin this down to minghao’s inexperience of being on a variety show by himself and feeling the need to answer every question. what he said is very disappointing and i really wish he would see what fans are saying so that he can learn from it and be accountable moving forward because i truly believe he is someone capable of doing that. we just need to wait and see if it’s something he wants to do.

[needsmoresleepwrites]

Gift for Daiyanerd: Miyuki Kazuya. Always cool and collected. Has a great side profile. Good at baseball. Well, no, great is the correct word. (sofa’21)

Moratorium

Read on Ao3

ONE

Miyuki Kazuya

Always cool and collected. Has a great side profile. Good at baseball. Well, no, great is the correct word. Even when he sometimes messes up some of the smaller plays. Reliable. Daring. Funny. Charming. Has probably had a dozen girlfriends, or maybe not. Nobody has been able to get any concrete answer on that one question, but he's definitely a lady's man, his fan club primarily consisting of girls and women that claim they would leave their current lives just to marry him if he so much as hinted interest. Or at least that's what many of the magazines, both sports and gossip ones say about him

Not to be too full of himself, but Kazuya thinks that much of what they say has some foundation. Yeah, people like Yoichi and Jun know better but he has to agree that his catching skills are unparalleled. He might also really like sending magazine covers with blown up images of his smiling (smirking) face to Yoichi just to get a scathing reply or an angry call. His only response is his lady killer (annoying) laugh

He knows he's always being watched by someone, but it completely slips his mind that anything could go wrong on that day

The headlines are brutal and he's gotten many messages and calls from his friends. He hasn't really answered because, well, he hasn't been able to. But he knows what they're saying. He's laying at the hospital with bandages covering most of his torso. He has a sense of deja vu, having been in a similar position when he'd been in high school, but this is much, much worse. Something happened and everyone is scrambling to find out what

Everyone except Rei, who has been detained. The tabloids are lapping this up like it's the sip of water they've finally been allowed after being stuck in a desert for months. Except that they're ruining the lives of the people Kazuya loves the most

He sees different news channels trying to get interviews from the few people that make up his friends. They want to know about Rei from high school. They've dug up her whole life's story and put it on full blast. They want to know about Kazuya, as if they haven't already told all there is to say, invented and created his whole career. They talk about how Rei pretty much scouted him from a very young age. The same women that claim they would do anything for Kazuya have turned razer sharp, claiming that "they knew it all along" and that Rei "had it coming"

They all twist the information for entertainment and Kazuya closes his eyes, disgusted at what they say about her.

There had been an accident. His car had been hit and he knows he needed surgery. Later they found out it was all a setup and he went from being one of the richest people and baseball players in Japan to having nothing. His career may as well be over. It will take too long for him to recover. Games won't wait.

Kazuya throws the remote in his hand and wants to tell them all its lies. He knows Rei would never do something like this. She's smart. It doesn't make sense. As much as Rei will follow a gut instinct, especially if it's about recruiting potential, it's always based on logic. There is no logic here.

His name flashes on multiple headlines and all he wants to scream is no, I didn't she say she stole my money!

The machines connected to his body have been beeping for a while now and finally, nurses and doctors run in. They try to get him to calm down but all he can do is repeat It wasn't her! It wasn't her! Rei would never! Tell them to stop!

Soon he feels drowsy and he realizes he's been sedated.

Before he closes his eyes he sees a picture of Rei next to the news anchor. Her hair is down, her eyes look haunted, but her posture is proud. She's not in her usual suit. Instead, she's wearing that dreaded green top, almost drowning her, making her pale skin paler. She doesn't look right. It's not the Rei he knows. The Rei he owes everything to.

He feels the tears burn his eyes.

----

TWO.

It takes a little over a year for things to "settle" down, but once the storm is over, everything is ruined.

Kazuya still manages to get his face blown up on magazine covers, but this time it's for a different reason. He's now considered a victim and he hates the images of him being wheeled out of the hospital. Of the tabloids somehow getting a shot of his bloodshot eyes, his pale skin, and his hunched shoulders. He wishes his attorney had allowed Kazuya to do something, but everything was too precarious, we have to be careful. Careful of what? He can no longer play baseball. He was already pushing the age of acceptability, only being allowed to continue contracts because he was so good, was still quick, was dedicated in mind, body, and soul to the game. But now he was injured, would be in rehab, and nobody knew if he'd still be able to move as great as before. Nobody would take that risk

Rei is finally released, but her life is ruined too. Hers is worse than Kazuya's will ever be. Not just because she's the supposed mastermind of the accident and subsequent disappearance of his capital, but because she's a woman. It's made him sick how she's been torn apart and left behind. She had already been forcefully (through great results) making her own space at the table. This was just the excuse to make her disappear. Nobody wanted a criminal as their associate. The label was tarnished and it would take time to rebuild their name. "Apologies" had been passed around, but nobody would take the risk of allowing her space again

Nobody thought to ask her side of the story, to reach out and help. She was alone. Nobody could legally take what she's rightfully earned, but they can pile fines upon fines. She is "free to go" but they have severely limited what she can do.

It only makes sense that she finally retires. Kazuya goes to see her with the Seidou team. He breaks when he finally sees what they've done to her, all in "his name", to "protect him". Rei is strong, logical, smart, but she can't help but allow herself to show a bit of emotion at that moment. She wipes away at Kazuya's face, "There's nothing left for me here and there's no use crying. The only way to go now is forward."

Chris recommends that Kazuya go to the same rehab facility he went to in America.

Kazuya doesn't want to leave. It feels like admitting defeat, like running away, like he's abandoning his friends.

Yoichi grits his teeth, tells Kazuya he wants to punch him for being so stupid, "But hitting an injured person isn't my style, even though it's YOU."

There is little progress on his health, both physical and mental, and then Yoichi, who has been singlehandedly taking care of him whenever he has a moment to spare, nearly begs him, "Kazuya, please. Go. Don't let this defeat you. I don't want to admit it but I miss seeing that stupidly smug look on your face. Remember what Rei said. You have to keep moving forward!"

He can't help but laugh one night when he can't sleep, Yoichi's words and his concerned face plaguing his mind. He can't believe he almost let this defeat him. He can't believe he was down enough to force his best friend to make such a face, to make him cry for his sake. He feels like he's let everyone down, especially Rei.

He calls Chris a few days later.

Before leaving, he logs into his Twitter account, which, like any other media source, he's been avoiding for the past year. Someone has obviously logged in and cleared his notifications and as his last stand, no first, because even now "they have to be careful", Kazuya quote RTs an article he hasn't even read, but he doesn't need to. He chooses it because it has one of those headlines. He presses send and logs out.

I NEVER said she stole my money.

----

THREE.

It's two years when he finally comes back to Japan. His rehab had ended months ago but there was a part of him that had been afraid to come back. He's sure Yoichi had sensed it, which is why he'd pretty much dragged him back.

He remembers the conversation they had. It had been really late in Japan, he's sure that Yoichi was on the verge of passing out, could hear every yawn he tried to hide, but he wouldn't let Kazuya hang up, "I'm not hanging up until you agree."

Kazuya sighs, "There's nothing for me to do out there anyway. Here, I've been helping at the hospital."

"But you don't even like that kind of stuff! I bet you're bored out of your mind," Yoichi countered, and Kazuya has to admit that he's not exactly wrong. He misses the excitement from the diamond, feeling the burn on his thighs as he squats behind the batter, signaling different plays to his catchers, the feel of the ball as it lands perfectly in his gloved palm, the roar of the crowd as they once more strikeout another enemy batter. But he can't have any of that. This year Kazuya turns 30 and he has become stiff. He can't move as dexterously as before.

He hears some shuffling on the other end, as if Yoichi is changing positions on his bed, "Look. Not many people know this but...this is actually my last year playing."

Kazuya freezes at that. He knows Yoichi is still keeping up with his own records, has won his team countless matches for his boldness, knows they would never want to let him go. He briefly fears that maybe an injury is involved but shakes his head. No, Yoichi would tell him if that's the case, so then, "Why?"

"That's why I called and I need you to come back," there's another pause, not long, "I'm getting married."

Kazuya blanks out for a moment and then stops what he's doing altogether (he turns off the stove, he'd been making breakfast but this is more important. Besides, he had almost been done), "Married? Did you kidnap some poor girl? I haven't even heard of you dating."

"KAZUYA," he hears Yoichi yell, "I didn't kidnap anyone! And that's because my PR team has been making sure to keep things tightly sealed, and I guess we also haven't been able to see each other much too." That last part is mumbled but Kazuya catches it anyway.

Kazuya hums, still disbelieving, but only slightly. He knows Yoichi wouldn't kid about something like this so if he says he's getting married, he's getting married, "Congratulations then. Not sure how someone found you husband material, but they do say there's a type for everyone. How'd you meet her?"

"You are such a dick," Yoichi hisses, "How are we still even friends?"

Kazuya sometimes wonders the same thing. Yoichi has been with him at his best and worst and has never given up on him. He laughs, "My great personality?"

Yoichi snorts right before laughing, "Yeah right. Anyway, so I met this guy-"

"A husband?" Kazuya cuts him off, genuinely curious, but also can't help but tease, "You hid it so well with all those magazines. I'm sure nobody suspected. No wonder your team is doing such a great job at hiding this."

Yoichi yells into the phone, "Let me finish asshole! No! It's not a guy, her name is Wakana! And she's the childhood friend of this guy I met!"

Kazuya makes a tsk noise, "Yoichi, did you steal her from this guy? Are you a homewrecker?"

Instead of getting mad, Yoichi snorts, "As if. Can you believe Wakana was actually in love with Sawamoron for years and he didn't realize."

Kazuya adds, "So you seduced her?" before Yoichi can continue with the story.

"No? I mean, I'm not sure," but they both know that Yoichi probably couldn't seduce anyone even if he tried. Charmed, yes, but outright seduce? And a girl he liked? Very unlikely, "But she'd been tired of waiting and so I met her after she'd confessed and he rejected her."

"Hmm," Kazuya interrupts again, "So you took advantage when she was down. That makes more sense. She was probably so down about being rejected she would have said yes to anyone. Sadly that someone was you."

Yoichi is flabbergasted, "Take advantage?! MIYUKI, that's not- I'd never - just let me finish!"

Kazuya laughs, "Ok, ok. So how did you meet her? I won't interrupt again."

Just like that, Yoichi calms down and Kazuya notes the happiness in his voice as he laughs, not at Kazuya, but at something, the memory perhaps, and Kazuya is slightly jealous. He's not sure at what or who.

"So this kid, Sawamura, we were going to meet up at the park. He had something to tell me, but then I see him running after this girl, yelling about money or something. So I cut her off-"

Kazuya can't help but laugh, "Y-Yoichi, did you, did you attack the poor girl?"

"Didn't you say you weren't going to interrupt?!" Yoichi screeches, but he starts laughing a bit too, "And no, I didn't attack her but, well..."

There's a groan on the other end and Kazuya can imagine his best friend blushing to the tips of his ears, "I pulled her by the arm and she was surprised, but then she did something and next thing I know I'm on the ground, looking up at her and Sawamura is laughing like he's seen the most hilarious thing ever!"

He wonders if that kid was laughing as hard as he is now. He feels the tears tickling his eyes, his cheeks hurt, and he feels the force of his laugh pulling on his stomach, "I already like the girl. What happened next?"

Yoichi lets him laugh but his voice is annoyed, not at him he notes, but at what happens next, "So Sawamoron comes up finally and he knows the girl and I'm confused and just got thrown to the ground by a girl that doesn't even reach my chin, and I ask him why he was yelling about a thief, because that's what he was doing."

More shifting on Yoichi's end, "And you know what he said to me?"

"What?"

"He goes "I never said she stole my money!" so I knock him over the head because yeah, he's right, he was YELLING IT. Everyone in the goddamn park heard it! Made him buy me dinner and everything."

Kazuya feels a lump in his throat but pushes it aside, he turns the stove on again to finish preparing his breakfast, "I guess for Wakana I can go back. When's the wedding? And will I be your best man?"

----

FOUR.

Kazuya hasn't even been home a month when Yoichi walks into his apartment with their old Seidou team. Everyone seems to be there, even the first years like Ryo's little brother and Furuya. There really isn't anything Kazuya can do but move aside so that everyone can come inside. At the end of the group, right after the first years enter, he spots someone he doesn't know. A kid with unruly brown hair, brown eyes, and tanned skin who looks slightly nervous. His posture is too stiff but he's also looking around curiously.

Yoichi notices Kazuya looking at him and comes over for introductions. He pulls the kid into a side hug, "Kazuya, this is Sawamura, Wakana's friend."

Kazuya looks him over. He's heard a few things about him from Yoichi, "So this is Sawamoron?" he teases. He can't help the lift of his lips as the kid splutters in indignation.

A high pitched, "Kuramochi-senpai! You can't call me that anymore, we're practically family now!"

Yoichi howls, slapping the kid on the back, "You're always going to be a moron Sawamura, hyahaha!"

Sawamura grits his teeth for a second before standing up straight, stretching out his hand towards Kazuya, "Good afternoon, It's a pleasure to meet you! My name is Sawamura Eijun! Thank you for inviting me!!"

Kazuya looks at the outstretched hand for a moment before he doubles over laughing. Sawamura let's out another unidentified sound before yelling, "That's so rude Miyuki Kazuya!!" but he hasn't dropped his arm.

Kazuya takes a breath, isn't surprised he knows his name (briefly wonders if he knows who he is), right before taking that tanned hand into his own. Sawamura's hold is firm, if a bit sweaty, nerves probably, "Well, as you so clearly let my neighbors know, my name is Miyuki Kazuya." He pauses, "And I didn't invite you."

Sawamura pales slightly, looks over to Yoichi who just makes a rude noise, "Really Kazuya? You have to be a dick right off the bat?"

Kazuya only smiles brightly, finally letting go of the kid's hand, looks around his house, and says, "Actually, I didn't invite any of you over. Why are you all here?"

The others have already settled into his kitchen and, he peers through the doorway, there are bottles of coke and beer and the smell of oily pizza in the air. Jun has already made himself at home on his couch, a paper plate with a pizza on it. He's halfway into that slice and Kazuya doesn't know why Jun didn't just take an extra slice or two with him before settling down. Ryo and Haruichi are putting things in his fridge. He realizes now how empty his fridge must have been. He had been meaning to go grocery shopping but he supposes he hadn't had the energy to go. Kanemaru is clearing up some of the boxes he had yet to unbox, reading the labels Chris had helped him write, and arranging them accordingly.

He knows that many of these guys are still part of the leagues, wonders how they managed to take a moment to raid his home (notices a few faces are missing, like Yuki but he would have been REALLY surprised if they'd managed to get him to come over). He remembers how they'd made it a routine to visit him when they were at Seidou, knowing he could get lost in strategizing and numbers quickly. He feels a penetrating gaze and turns to see the new kid watching him intently. Kazuya can't help the grin that grows on his face and it's finally starting to feel like home.

He motions the two in, "Well, you may as well come in. Everyone is already inside. Feel free to raid my fridge and make a mess in my new kitchen."

Yoichi laughs, pulling Sawamura inside with him. The kid still looks slightly off-balance, but he sits next to the first years like he belongs and he wonders why this picture looks so right.

Yoichi dives in for the last slice of pepperoni pizza just as Sawamura is about to reach for it and then loudly exclaims, "Hey Kazuya, wanna hear something funny?"

Kazuya has already grabbed his own plate and he wonders how he missed all of these pizza boxes when they first came inside. He grabs one with sausage and mushroom, "Hm?"

"So while we were getting the pizza, we sent Sawamura to go get the drinks, right?"

Sawamura, who had just taken a drink from his can of soda, instantly spits it out and Kazuya is both intrigued and disgusted as he sees the drink mixed with spit cover his table, "Kuramochi-senpai, don't!"

He sees Kanemaru chuckling and Jun roars from the living room. Apparently, there were many witnesses to this apparently funny story. Haruichi pats Sawamura's back softly while the kid's face glows red. Kazuya is momentarily worried he might faint but then curiosity wins out, "Oh?"

Yoichi and he share a look, "Get this, we all gave him our share, right? So he goes in and comes back all mad, saying we didn't give him the right amount, but then, but then," It seems the rest of it is too funny for Yoichi to continue because he starts laughing and he notices Sawamura cover his face. He mumbles something but Kazuya doesn't catch it.

Ryo helps him out. He's also amused, a smirk on his face, "The girl stole his change."

Sawamura uncovers his face and yells, "I never said she stole my money!"

There's a moment of silence before...

Jun. He'd come back into the kitchen to get more pizza, "Who else could it have been? Had to be the girl at the counter, or did you just give up your money?"

Kuramochi, "Easy prey, how you're even a teacher is beyond me."

Kanemaru, "Wait. So it wasn't the cashier?"

Even Kazuya can't help but ask, laughter tickling his words, "Emphasis on "she"?"

Sawamura seems to realize his error and covers his face again. He's mumbling again but instead of being annoyed by the bad habit, Kazuya thinks it's almost cute.

"Haruichi?" Ryo questions and Sawamura uncovers his face to yell, "Onii-san! That's not fair! Haruichi you can't tell, you promised!"

Haruichi is looking back and forth between them, "Well..."

Then Furuya explains all, "He was flirting with the delivery guy."

It somehow gets even louder inside his house and Kazuya can't believe he thought of not returning. It's true that his baseball career is over, but this is where his family is at. This is where his life is truly at. He laughs until the tears in his eyes fall.

They spend hours getting him up to speed on gossip.

----

FIVE.

Even though he's only known Sawamura for a few days, maybe weeks, he's the one that keeps Kazuya company the most. And there's a big reason for that named Kuramochi Yoichi. Even though, or perhaps because, it's nearing the end of his contract, Yoichi gets busier. There are some rumors as to why he's finally leaving baseball, but just like he'd told Kazuya, everything is still under wraps. There are no incriminating photos and no face to put to those rumors jealous girls spread online. Kazuya wonders how things will turn out once Yoichi fesses up but until then, Sawamura becomes his shadow

One, he's not bound to such a strenuous schedule (Yoichi told him Sawamura is the grade school teacher at one of the local schools not far from Kazuya's new place. His new house is conveniently placed so close because it will soon be Kazuya's new workplace and they just happen to be on break now), and second...well, Kazuya's not sure. Yoichi didn't want to tell him. Not exactly

He remembers the last time he actually met up with his best friend.

Yoichi had invited him over for dinner and Sawamura had come up somehow (Kazuya comes to realize that Sawamura comes up in their lives very often). Yoichi had been contemplative. They'd just finished watching a movie and were just sitting there in the dark, the credits rolling.

"You know. If Sawamura had actually been interested in Wakana...I don't think I'd have ever had a chance with her. There's just something about him...he's so..." Yoichi makes vague hand movements, "you know?"

Kazuya laughs and wonders if this is what best men have to deal with with their to-be grooms. Jitters, he's heard them called, but he was sure this feeling was supposed to happen days before the wedding, not so far ahead when there wasn't even a date finalized, "Already second-guessing the married life?"

Yoichi doesn't even take the bait. He just sighs and leans back on the couch, "No, I'm serious. There's just something about Sawamura, he's so honest and hardworking. I can see why Wakana liked him."

"Careful, or I might start to think you actually want to marry Sawamura instead."

Yoichi kicks him halfheartedly, "Dumbass."

Their feet are still touching and Yoichi nudges him, "He's a good kid you know."

Kazuya leans out to grab his drink from the low table, takes a sip, "He does seem like it. Although he's a bit..." He tries to find the right word. Dense? Airheaded? No..."innocent?"

Yoichi laughs, "Yes! The stories I could tell you."

It gets quiet and Kazuya enjoys it. It's been years since the two of them have done something like this.

Yoichi breaks the silence again, "You know...Rei actually tried scouting him."

Kazuya takes another swig of his drink, deep, and tries to wash away the feelings of guilt. He hasn't spoken to Rei since the incident. Hasn't really asked about her although he knows she's ok, thanks to Chris

But he's curious now. If Rei had been interested in him then he was undoubtedly good talent, "What happened?"

Yoichi scoffs, "The idiot turned her down! Said he didn't need any fancy schools to play baseball."

Kazuya can't help the snort he lets out into his drink. He hasn't known Sawamura long but he can somehow imagine the face he'd make, how loud he would yell that statement with conviction, "Too bad." He's sure Sawamura could have been someone if he'd come to Seidou and he somehow feels cheated of something

"What position?"

"Pitcher, a southpaw, nasty throw," Yoichi grips his cup tightly. He looks over at him, "He's not a professional but he does still play."

It's a subtle nudge that Kazuya ignores.

Which is probably why he finds Sawamura so often on his doorstep.

Today he's managed to wrangle Kazuya out of his house, but only because it's work-related. The summer heat isn't terrible today so the two decide to walk and even though it's not that far, Kazuya finds himself lightly perspiring. Perhaps he's let himself go more than he thought, and he begins planning a timetable to get his fitness in a better state. Meanwhile, Sawamura is all smiles

"Hurry up Miyuki Kazuya!" He's already at the side door, opening it with his staff key, and Kazuya wonders if they should even be here. There are hardly any cars parked outside and the school is obviously void of children. Classes don't start until next week

"You don't have to call me by my full name," Kazuya tells him as he enters the building. Sawamura slides past him after closing the door, making sure it locks properly, "You can call me Miyuki-senpai."

"What?!" Sawamura's voice echoes in the hallway, "Why should I call you that?!"

"Because you're younger," he pats Sawamura's head and grins, "And smaller."

He slaps his hand away, a blush on his face, "I'm not small! And you're not even that much taller!!"

He stands closer to Kazuya and points at the few centimeters difference between them. Kazuya pushes him back, "Miyuki-senpai."

Sawamura just rolls his eyes and continues walking, "You really do have a terrible personality Miyuki Kazuya!"

Kazuya just laughs, "Thanks!"

"Not a compliment!" Sawamura yells and then points to the rooms in the hall they're in, "I'm usually here with the kids. Since the school isn't that big you'll probably get kids as young as eight and as old as thirteen in your class too, since you're the only gym teacher until Kuramochi-senpai gets married."

Kazuya nods, "Ok, Sawamura...sensei."

Kazuya notes how easy it is to rile up Sawamura. How his face will quickly turn red and his lips will form pouts or grimaces, his body reacting so honestly so quickly. Now he brings up his hands to cover his ears as he yells, "Don't call me that!!"

"Then stop calling me by my full name, it's weird."

"MIYUKI KA-"

Kazuya somehow manages to raise his voice enough to speak over Sawamura, "So Sawamura-sensei, where do the kids go out to play? Sensei?"

Sawamura looks like he's about to burst and goes off yelling. Miyuki follows him, laughing, their voices echoing in tandem

They end up outside behind the school somewhere. Even though it's small, Kazuya is impressed by how well maintained it is. There is a small playground to the side, which has been recently repainted, signs marking the walls and tape clearly discouraging anyone from touching. The mats at the bottom look worn but not in bad shape. Then there is a track that circles what looks like enough field to be a neighborhood. Most of it is empty and Sawamura's talking about how sometimes the kids will go out there and play soccer or volleyball or really whatever sports they need that requires a lot of space. The only place that looks like it truly has a defined purpose is the baseball field.

He feels excited and scared at the same time, wants to run to home plate, to feel the dirt path against his feet, crouch, and take in the view. But he also thinks this is a bad idea. Maybe he shouldn't have come here, shouldn't have accepted the job. He knows why they want him, why they're willing to wait a year for Yoichi to come and teach. He's not sure if he can take the pressure

"Miyuki-senpai," he turns to Sawamura, who is pouting.

He's not sure why he feels himself calm down, perhaps it's because he'll take any distraction, even if it's loud Sawamura, or maybe it's because Sawamura looks ridiculous with his cheeks puffed out and his eyebrows scrunched up between his eyes. Kazuya smiles. It hurts a bit to do so, "Is this all just for the little gremlins? Lucky them, I didn't have something so big at my disposal when I was at school."

Sawamura suddenly inflates as he grins, "Yeah me neither! I'm from the countryside from a school even smaller than this! Wakana and I had to go to the other side of town with our friends if we wanted to play baseball. That's sort of what it's like here too. We share with some of the other schools and really anyone is welcome to come here as long as the kids aren't out playing."

"Wakana, huh," Kazuya notes. He hasn't actually met the bride-to-be yet, "Is she in the habit of taking people's money?"

Sawamura looks confused and perhaps a bit upset, "What?"

Kazuya only smirks, "I heard how Yoichi met her."

Understanding fills his eyes and he groans, "I keep telling Kuramochi-senpai not to tell that story! It's all lies! Lies! Come on, let's go to the gym, your to-be base."

They head back inside and Kazuya feels the smile that spreads on his face is lighter, amused. It's relaxing being with Sawamura, "So what, she wasn't stealing your money?"

"No!" Sawamura defends, "I never said she stole my money! It was all a misunderstanding!!"

"So what? She was just borrowing it?" Kazuya pushes and can't help but laugh as Sawamura goes red.

"I-It, my, NO! She just grabbed my wallet!! But she wasn't stealing it!"

----

SIX.

Kazuya hasn't been teaching for long when it's time to prepare for Sports Day and he forgets how tiring it can be. Sawamura is ecstatic the whole week leading up to the moment all the kids are let loose to run and play, and he's not sure how the flow of energy works, who feeds off who, but everyone seems to be ready to burst with enthusiasm by then. Kazuya feels like he's the only one who is burnt out. He's not usually used to so much happening, at least not like this

The school asks him to give an encouraging speech before the event begins, which Sawamura jealously admits had been his job the last two years, but he grins all the same. He encourages him to do his best, just like he does to the children and Kazuya isn't sure if he should be offended or glad when he feels the flat of Sawamura's palm on his back.

By then, Yoichi has finally wrapped things up with his team. He still has a few more interviews scheduled, but he's essentially removed himself (as much as he can) from the public eye. He's announced he's going to get married and has been asked many times about his to-be wife, but just like Kazuya, everyone is kept in the dark. On the few nights Yoichi manages to call him, to check up on him, Kazuya teases that maybe this is the most elaborate plan he's ever seen, that maybe this Wakana girl doesn't even exist

Yoichi just laughs, "What? Is The Great Miyuki Kazuya actually curious?"

Kazuya scoffs, "Of course not, and don't call me that. I can't get Sawamura to stop, I don't want you doing the same. It's so weird."

They talk until they're both ready to pass out but Yoichi tells him he'll be there and that he'll bring Wakana too. There's something strange with the way he says this but it's late, they've both been up for too long, and Kazuya doesn't remember the unease the next day

He doesn't remember until Sports Day, right before it happens.

It's usually a big event with parents and friends and the neighborhood coming by to see all their children perform at their best. This school is slightly different because of its size. It isn't just their kids (as Sawamura likes to say and Kazuya, reluctantly, has started to call his students), but a few students from two or three of the neighboring smaller schools. He's never seen the field so packed with kids. There are also a lot of cameras and flashing and suddenly Kazuya feels uncomfortably warm. This year it's not only locals that are here. He can see various news channels documenting the event and there are probably other labels walking around, trying to figure out what the next scoop will be. Or perhaps they've already been hinting at it but Kazuya has been avoiding all the gossip. He briefly wonders if they're here for him and while this might be slightly true, he's sure they're more likely to be here to catch a glimpse of Yoichi and Wakana

He decides to stick with Sawamura for most of the day.

Sawamura seems to be oblivious to all the attention, focusing on the kids, high-fiving everyone who is going to race, yelling encouragements as they pass him by, and yelling out happily as the kids make the baskets and reach the finish lines. Kazuya tries to show his support as well and Sawamura drags him from one event to the next. The parents love him as much as the children do. He briefly wonders if Sawamura will have any voice left for the next day

It's around the time the kids finally get their break for lunch (and that Sawamura pulls him over to an empty patch of grass so that they can finally rest as well, how Kazuya was able to crouch for hours on end before is almost a mystery to him now, he really HAS let himself go) that he starts to hear them

"I didn't say she stole MY money. Did you really not know?" "Is she REALLY here? "The NERVE of her." "We should tell the principal to kick her out. Where is she?"

Everything starts to go quiet as Kazuya looks around. There are too many people around, but he manages to find her by the fence behind the diamond. She's looking right at him and Kazuya feels himself stop breathing for a moment. He isn't sure what he was expecting but she looks exactly like she did three years ago, except somehow better. Her hair is up in her typical bun, she's wearing a pink button-up with her trademark pencil skirt. There's a small coat hanging off her arm, which is the only sign he has that she plans to stay for the whole of the day's events.

He gets up, ignores Sawamura's confused, "Miyuki-senpai?" and goes to meet her.

He remembers how Yoichi had sounded over the phone the other day and realizes that when he said her, he hadn't meant Wakana, he had meant Rei. She's smiling at him and once they're close enough, she says, "Miyuki Kazuya, it's been a long time, hasn't it?"

"Rei," he all but whispers and he notices people are looking, the cameras are pointing in their direction and he smiles. He's so happy and relieved to see her. He wonders why he hadn't tried contacting her before, where the guilt and fear have gone. He thanks Yoichi, will thank him later as well, for always doing things like this for him, I'm the worst friend, aren't I? He can already see Yoichi's annoyed face as he threatens to punch him if he says anything so stupid again. He laughs, "It's been way too long. I'm sorry."

He finally has the chance to really apologize for everything, to offer his support, to ask how she's been doing, and he marvels at how Seidou is truly a family. His old teammates haven't just been trying to get him to move forward, they have also been helping Rei regain a semblance of her old life.

When they part, it turns into a game. They both know how things will go so they are bold, they grin, and take each other's hands in a firm shake.

"I'm sure I'll be seeing you on the field in the future." It's not a question.

"Of course." It's a promise.

At the end of the day, Sawamura and he are the last to leave the school since Sawamura offered to stay and clean up (and with him Kazuya). The sun is already on the verge of setting and Kazuya can't wait to take a bath and then crawl into bed. He doesn't want to wake up until a week from now.

As they're walking home (or really walking to his house because even now, he's never really asked where Sawamura lives, he imagines not far), Kazuya notices how quiet Sawamura is. He bumps his side with his shoulder, "Lost your voice with all that yelling?"

Sawamura looks over at him and shakes his head. Kazuya is momentarily mesmerized by this side of Sawamura. Quiet, almost shy. He's not pouting or angry, his features calm, slightly sharp on his handsome face. The remaining rays of the sun make his eyes look slightly gold and Kazuya wonders why he's suddenly noticing these things, "What's wrong then?"

The temperature had dropped enough that they were now comfortably wearing jerseys. Sawamura mumbles into the collar of his jersey and Kazuya is annoyed, but only slightly. It's that bad habit of Sawamura's and he wonders if he could tease those mumbled words out of him, is about to do that when Sawamura stops walking, closes his eyes, and yells out, "Do you like Miss Rei?!"

Kazuya is left speechless. At least that answers his other teasing question. Sawamura is as loud as always, "What?"

Sawamura opens his eyes, he's blushing and he can't seem to look him in the eye, "Well, there were those rumors...and then today...I mean, she's really pretty and just..." He goes quiet.

There's a lot here he wants to clear up, but he figures he should start with Sawamura's question, "No. At least, not really."

There's a question in those golden-brown eyes and Kazuya continues to explain, "I'm sure everyone on the baseball team liked her at one point. We were all teenagers and she's a really attractive woman, but that's it. Rei...she scouted me, believed that I could go far, pushed me, pretty much built my whole career. She's not really like my mom, not really an older sister...but yeah, like family."

They're both surprised by how honest he's been, which leads him to his own question, "Rumors? So you knew who I was. Is that why you called me by my full name?"

Sawamura looks embarrassed, "Yeah. I, I was curious about Seidou. I bet Kuramochi-senpai already told you about Rei and her coming to scout me?"

Kazuya nods.

They start walking again, "Well, I started seeing your name come up a lot. I always had trouble with my own catchers, I wasn't very good, sometimes my throws would go wild. I guess. I mean, they felt right, but Wakana, she was my main catcher, it was hard for her to catch them. Anyway, I started following your career. And just, well, then that happened and the rumors..."

They're quiet for a moment. Kazuya thinking back to how Yoichi had called Sawamura's pitch a nasty throw, the way Rei had pointed out Sawamura's staring while they talked and how Kazuya should catch for him, "When I saw him pitch, I knew you two would make a great battery. I knew you would be what could push him to greater heights, and that he would influence you too. All of Seidou. He has the heart of an Ace."

He's curious.

"Do you regret it?"

It's been a few minutes but Sawamura follows his question, turns to him, conviction in his burning eyes, "Never!"

----

SEVEN.

Kazuya finally gets to meet Wakana on his birthday. Yoichi tells him they're going out to celebrate at a fancy restaurant and he's not allowed to say no. Since he is the best man at their future wedding, he supposes it would be rude to not meet the bride-to-be so he pulls out one of his old suits, is relieved it still fits, and decides that's enough effort needed on his part. He also decides to forgo the tie and leaves the first two buttons undone. It's classy.

He's not surprised to see Sawamura also at the restaurant, and he's also not surprised to see him sporting a loud outfit. He's also wearing a suit but his shirt is a bright blue with baseball patterns, he's pulled up the suit jacket sleeves to his elbows (which, might he add, does not match his pants, but it somehow works), and he's actually wearing a tie. There's a girl trying to tame his hair but she soon gives up when Sawamura spots him and calls out, "Miyuki Kazu-mmyaa."

"Eijun!" the girl chides him, "We told you to be quiet!"

She's covering his mouth and let's go once he settles down. He rubs his hand through the back of his hair, ruining whatever work the girl must have done, "Sorry."

The girl shakes her head and turns to him, "So you're the famous Miyuki Kazuya, in the flesh."

Kazuya smiles, "And you must be the infamous money stealing Wakana."

They shake hands and Wakana laughs, "The one and only."

Yoichi comes up behind him, "Good, you're here. I thought I was going to have to send someone to drag you out of bed."

They're escorted to the back where they can dine in private. Yoichi walks in the back with him and Kazuya watches the way Sawamura's body faces Wakana even when they're walking. The way she pushes and holds his arm, laughs at what he says. The way that Sawamura lets her choose where she wants to sit and then makes space so that the table decorations aren't in her way. He sits across from her.

Yoichi whispers at him, "See what I mean?"

Kazuya doesn't need to see them interact to know why Wakana once liked Sawamura, but it definitely solidifies their closeness.

Wakana is very pretty. She has short hair that is slightly tinged with red, natural, she mentions when she sees him looking at her, "I get asked a lot." Apparently, it's a color she inherited from her great grandmother

She's as small as Yoichi claimed her to be, which makes her look tiny with her current company. She's wearing a simple and modest blue dress that matches perfectly with the ties Sawamura and Yoichi are wearing. She's just as honest as Sawamura is, and Kazuya wonders if all the people in his life are like that. It's refreshing. He instantly likes her and knows that Yoichi will be happy. It makes him happy too.

They're waiting on their food when Sawamura tells Yoichi that "Miyuki Kazuya" called Wakana a thief. Yoichi puts down his glass of wine, sending his best friend a glare, "I should have known you wouldn't behave!"

Sawamura is quick to respond, "It's all your fault Kuramochi-senpai! You keep telling that stupid story!!"

"The only thing stupid about that story is YOU Bakamura!!"

They look like children snapping at each other across the table and Wakana is just laughing. She turns to Kazuya, "Did he tell you what actually happened?"

Kazuya nods, "Sort of. Something about borrowing a wallet."

Wakana smiles, "Something like that, yes."

"See! I told you I never said she stole my money!!" Sawamura gets up suddenly but nobody notices the waiter coming with trays until the sound of plates falling to the ground and shattering are heard. But the worst part is probably the cake that Sawamura tries to save. Part of it lands on his hands, some of it on the table, but a big portion of it (thanks to Sawamura's interference), is now all over Wakana's dress. Everyone holds their breath, the waiter looks horrified.

Kazuya knows he shouldn't but he snickers and that seems to bring everything back to life. Wakana laughs and tells the waiter it's ok, she pats his hand reassuringly, "But can we get another cake? We'll pay for both of course."

The man is so relieved, he smiles and nods, and says he'll be right back to clean up, that he can also ask someone to help her out. Sawamura looks constipated and ridiculous standing there with chunks of cake in his hands.

"This is so coming out of your wallet Sawamoron!!" Yoichi cries out as he grabs chunks of cake from Wakana's lap and throws it on the table, "And YOU, I can't believe you did that!"

Kazuya only smirks, looks over at Wakana, and says, "Welcome to the family."

It seems like Wakana isn't just depleting Sawamura's accounts, but also stealing hearts.

----

OMAKE (months later)

It's the wedding night when Sawamura decides to crash at Kazuya's house. They're both exhausted and since they're both going to the same place the next morning, Kazuya doesn't make a fuss. When they make it home, they fight about who will take a shower first and Kazuya wins because, ultimately, this is his house so of course he has dibs. Sawamura pouts as he heads to the living room, ok, ok, just go you evil tanuki bastard.

When Kazuya comes out in a white t-shirt and boxers, he finds Sawamura already passed out on the couch, his arm and leg fallen off the side. He notices that he at least had the sense to take off his suit jacket and shirt. He's only wearing his undershirt and his pants have risen up his shins. Everything else is thrown against the back of the couch and his keys, cellphone, camera, and wallet, are all on the table. He's snoring lightly, his breath coming out more like little sighs, and there's a bit of drool where gravity has decided to do its job.

He's about to wake up Sawamura when he remembers something Wakana told him the first time they met. Right before they left the restaurant, she had pulled him aside, telling the other two NOT to come closer, Next time you get the chance, look inside his wallet. I promise it'll be worth it, and don't worry, he won't mind. He yells a lot but that's all there is.

The wallet is right there and Kazuya wishes it had landed the other way. At least like that, it wouldn't feel like he was snooping. No, he wouldn't. He doesn't really understand why Wakana wants him to look inside, but it's not really any of his business. He shakes his head and walks towards the couch. Before he can even reach forward, Sawamura shifts and mumbles a sleepy, "Kazuya."

Kazuya freezes at the stupid smile on Sawamura's face. He feels his face heat up and he's not sure why. He briefly glances at the wallet again, then moves to shake Sawamura's shoulders.

It takes a moment, a testament to how tired Sawamura is, before his brown eyes open and he sleepily mumbles, "Miyuki Kazuya?"

Kazuya hesitates for a moment. He doesn't have extra bedding and he knows sleeping on the couch is uncomfortable. They were going to share the bed, just like he always does whenever Yoichi visits, but suddenly he wonders if maybe this isn't a good idea. He tells Sawamura it's his turn to shower and nearly drags him to the bathroom. He stands outside just to make sure he doesn't pass out inside and somehow Sawamura looks even more drowsy than before. His skin is red from the heat of the water and they head to the bedroom.

Sawamura is out before his head hits the pillow. Kazuya arranges him on the bed properly and covers him with the blanket.

He finds it hard to sleep, the sound of his name coming from Sawamura's sleepy lips echoing in his head.

---

A/N:

I scoured Reddit for some inspiration and found this interesting prompt: "I never said she stole my money has 7 different meanings based on which word is emphasized." I sort of followed the prompt? LOL

things to note: 1. I just googled "prisoner clothes in japan" and green outfits came up, hence why Rei is dressed in a "green top" 2. I don't actually know how legal proceedings go in japan, if it would take longer or less (but this is fanfic so let's not question it) 3. Again, I don't know how long rehabs take but I'm not aiming for accuracy 4. If it wasn't obvious, Sawamura wasn't in the original Seidou team in this fic (lol) 5. Sports day apparently apparently happens around October (and again, Idk much about it)

I don't think I've ever written anything "complete" for this fandom but I hope you all enjoyed, especially you daiyanerd ^^

p.s. This got out of hand omg it's so long and hardly anything happens i hope you guys don't mind Orz Also, I kind of want to write more for this, maybe Sawamura's side of some of the events, maybe just a continuation, idk....

[otakween]

07 Ghost - The World! (Part 1) 

So I guess 07 Ghost had a radio show? This is such a weird concept to me. Like, do they have a radio channel in Japan that’s just really anime-specific? If, for example, Avatar: The Last Airbender had a radio show with all of the voice actors, where the heck would that broadcast from? 

The radio show is actually longer than the anime too, 30 whole episodes! I guess it’s not that surprising because it’s very low effort. Kind of like a podcast between friends. You can find it on nico nico douga (I’ve added a few links below to point you in the right direction). 

Episode 1

My first impression is that this isn’t really something you’re meant to sit down and listen to start-to-finish. It’s like most talk radio where you’re meant to hear it during your drive to the grocery store or something. That being said, I had fun listening to this as a Japanese practice exercise. The fact that it’s not subtitled means I have to focus on it really hard, which keeps me from getting bored. 

Basically in this episode they introduce their characters (described Teito and Mikage’s personalities), read fan mail, and play what sounded like a game of pictionary (although they renamed it “What’s inside Pandora’s box?”) I guess future episodes will have guests, so I look forward to that. 

Episode 2

This episode was somehow longer than the first, but had about the same amount of content. The show is broken up into “corners” that shift around each episode. The ones I remember are: 07 Ghost news corner, fan mail corner, and then they usually play a game that’s 07-ghost related. This time they had to guess “What would X character say/do in Y situation.” The hilarious thing was that Mikage’s VA clearly did not read the manga and maybe didn’t even watch the show lol. He doesn’t know anything about the characters and struggles to remember their names. Meanwhile, Teito’s VA is either a superfan or just likes to do her homework because she was killing it. Honestly the straightman/dumbass dynamic fits their characters. 

So far my favorite part of the series is hearing the fanmail. This was recorded around the time the anime was coming out, and it’s interesting to hear what the Japanese fanbase had to say when the series was fresh. 

Episode 3

In this episode they had their first guest, Castor’s VA! He didn’t really add much to the show so it kind of felt like a wasted opportunity if you ask me. I wish they would have interviewed him or something. This time around featured a lot of kanji discussion (apparently Mikage’s VA isn’t very good at reading kanji) and they discussed what they’d like to try out in the 07-Ghost world (riding a hawkzile and using zaiphon). Mikage’s VA continued to act dumb and got spanked at one point for losing a game (I think?).

Episode 4

Okay, this was my favorite episode so far because they got Ayanami’s VA to guest star! AHHHHHH! His voice is so sexy lol. The first thing Teito and Mikage’s VAs did was basically say “so...why is your voice so nice?” lol. They discussed what ages their voices dropped and he said 5th grade. They talked about Teito’s VA’s voice change as well and I was just like “huh? Does that happen with girls?” Like, yeah obviously our voices change too, but I definitely don’t have any recollection of an exact time when that happened. 

Anyway, this episode had the usual “game show-like” games that were fun to listen to, as well as listener mail. Basically every letter was bullying Mikage’s VA which was hilarious and Teito’s VA continued to rag on him for not reading the manga. Listening to Ayanami’s VA speak naturally was fascinating because his natural speaking voice isn’t far off from the character’s. Man if I met a guy with that deep a voice in person, I’d probably melt. 

Episode 5

This one was pretty boring, especially compared to episodes 3-4. There was no guest and all of the “corners” felt pretty copy-paste from previous episodes. They chatted about White Day a little and what their characters would give on White Day. They also tried weird drinks/food towards the end that were requested by viewers. 

Not much to say about this one, but I’m really enjoying listening to these. They have the low budget “just hanging out” that’s relaxing to listen to and I like the chemistry of the hosts. It’s also really good listening practice when I can’t rely on video or subtitles. 

Episode 6

This episode was fun because Labrador’s VA dropped by with his sweet voice. I actually had to double check and make sure his VA was a guy because I was like “wait...do guys sound like this??” I found his website and apparently he does the voice for Phineas from Phineas and Ferb, Beast Boy from Teen Titans and Fiver from Watership Down!! I should really watch more Japanese dubs of western stuff. 

The conversation leaned heavily on food in this one, which I appreciated. Apparently Labrador’s VA just eats constantly and never gets fat (must be nice). Mikage’s VA described Labrador’s eating habits as “Princess-like” because he eats a lot of sweets and expensive foods (like scallops). Jealous tbh. Mikage’s VA was roasted again for not reading the manga which will never not be funny. 

Episode 7

So unfortunately, this one’s audio cuts out around 35 minutes in. At first I thought that there was something wrong on my end, but I tried the video on my phone and my laptop and neither would cooperate. Ah well, the parts I was able to hear were fun. In this episode it’s Namikawa’s B. Day (Mikage’s VA) so they celebrate that. They also talk about hanami because this was broadcasted in the spring. The “challenges” they do that are mostly 07-Ghost trivia are getting kinda cringey because Namikawa loses literally every time (since he didn’t read the manga lol). 

Episode 8

In this episode Mikage’s VA was replaced with Hakuren’s VA because Mikage’s schedule was “too full” lol. It was interesting to hear Jun Fukuyama speak naturally, I feel like out of all the voices I’ve heard on this show so far, his has the biggest gap between his speaking and acting voice. 

This episode was really chill, they talked about Jun’s cycling hobby and played some 07-Ghost trivia games. I found the Japanese really easy to understand this time around so I was able to play along which made things more fun. This one felt on the shorter side with less “corners” than usual. Teito’s VA keeps calling the show “yuru radio” which feels very accurate. 

Episode 9

Another Hakuren episode. Honestly, I think I prefer the chemistry between Mikage/Teito’s VAs more because they have a deeper contrast in both their voices and personalities. Teito and Hakuren’s VAs feel more evenly matched so it’s kind of like listening to one person talk to themselves. The beginning of this episode was difficult for me to understand because they were talking so fast! I tried to slow down the playback speed but that just sounded horrible so I just toughed it out. Topics included: Golden Week, finger size (I think as like a fortune telling thing), and onsen. 

At this point these episodes just fly by, I’ve really gotten used to their rhythm and the constant switching from corner to corner prevents me from getting bored. It took me a long time to get through these first 10, but hopefully I’ll be able to just binge the next 20. 

Episode 10 

Yaaay, episode 10! They celebrated by having Frau as a guest and Mikage’s VA returned. This episode actually had me laughing out loud a few times (which is rare because my Japanese isn’t very good lol). It was great to finally have Frau’s VA as a guest and I think the show’s more fun with 3 people rather than 2. Frau’s VA has a very “bored” sounding voice, like he’s too cool for school or something. Not to say he wasn’t fun to listen to, he’s just pretty monotone. 

Unfortunately, I didn’t understand the game they played (creatively titled “07 Ghost: The Game”) at all this episode. It involved a lot of counting but I was just really lost as to what was going on. What I did understand was “The Last Supper” where they tried yogurt mixed with various things. They tried yogurt + mayo which a listener claimed tastes like cream cheese. Predictably, it tasted pretty gross and I got squicked just imagining it. Onto the next 20!

[elite-guard-hardygal]

Markiplier Characters: The Ultimate Video Masterlist (UPDATED REGULARLY)

So, yeah, this is a list of all the videos I could find featuring the listed characters of @markiplier.

In the case of Darkiplier, when it comes to pre-Date w/ Markiplier videos, I only listed the videos that Mark has pretty much confirmed Darkiplier is featured in. Yes, there are plenty of videos of Mark being creepy, but unless Mark says otherwise, that does not necessarily make it a Darkiplier video. But in general, the videos on this list have to fall under the following criteria:

The character featured has to be made by Mark (as in the case of Wilford Warfstache or Jim)

If the character is not made by Mark, Mark needs to have featured the character at least once in his own skits (as in the case of Ed Edgar or the Host, both of whom were created by Cyndago)

If you're still wondering why certain videos or characters aren't featured on this list, check out my other list, which has videos and characters that don't quite fit this criteria.

Also, you can find my Jacksepticeye master list here ^-^

THANK YOU TO -

@fandomfangirlworld, @wortblume, and @fountain-of-muse for reminding me of certain videos

@just-chugging-along and their Comprehensive Alter Ego Library

Cooperation Is Key and their playlist Markiplier Egos: Santaplier

So, without further ado...

—

Origins of Wilford Warfstache and Darkiplier

Who Killed Markiplier? - Chapter 1 (Oct 10, 2017)

Who Killed Markiplier? - Chapter 2 (Oct 11, 2017)

Who Killed Markiplier? - Chapter 3 (Oct 12, 2017)

Who Killed Markiplier? - The Final Chapter (Oct 13, 2017)

Wilford ‘MOTHERLOVING’ Warfstache (Aug 5, 2018)

DAMIEN (May 12, 2019)

—

A Heist With Markiplier

Illinois - GUNS BLAZING > CAR > TRY TO FIX > ECT. You may try not to fall in love, but the Adventurer couldn’t really blame you if you failed (Oct 30, 2019)

Yancy - GUNS BLAZING > HELICOPTER > RALLY THE PRISONERS > ECT. Don’t let his rap sheet and dancing skillz intimidate ya, the Prisoner may just think youse’s all right (Oct 30, 2019)

Captain Magnum - ALL SNEAKY LIKE > LIGHT TUNNEL > WAIT FOR RESCUE > ECT. Hoist the mainsail and prepare for adventure with the Pirate! (Oct 30, 2019)

Trailers (TBA)

—

Darkiplier

Don't blink - dont turn around (Jun 19, 2012)

Don't move - not a muscle (Jul 4, 2012)

relax - Mark just wants to chill for his 14 million sub celebration, but someone has other ideas (Aug 13, 2016)

A Date With Markiplier - PAY > HORROR > ECT. Darkiplier makes his official debut, and he's missed you very much (Feb 14, 2017)

Don't Play This Game - Watch as Mark submits to the madness of a nonsensical 'game' (Apr 16, 2017)

Markiplier TV - Darkiplier gives his thoughts on Wilford Warfstache's revolutionary idea (May 5, 2017)

DARKIPLIER vs ANTISEPTICEYE - Who will win the ultimate evil YouTuber showdown? (Jul 28, 2017)

Don't remember - theres nothing out there (Nov 18, 2017)

go back to sleep… - l i s t e n (Aug 20, 2018)

DAMIEN - Following the events of Who Killed Markiplier, Damien begins to realize that he is more lost than he thinks (May 12, 2019)

Outliers

The Voice of Darkiplier | Markiplier ReMIX - Listen to Darkiplier's dulcet voice in this Markiplier Recognized(TM) remix by DayByDave (Jun 29, 2017)

World’s First Pop-Up Haunted House - 0:26 The Barrel television set starts to give off Darkiplier vibes for a few seconds when Mark leaves us alone (Oct 27, 2017)

big MOOD? - 9:10 While Mark displays what he thinks a big mood is, “you have to wake up” flashes across the screen in a very Darkiplier fashion (Nov 20, 2017)

—

Wilford Warfstache

The Fall of Slenderman - In his debut, Wilford Warfstache interviews the once feared Slenderman (Nov 9, 2012)

The Warfstache Affair - Caught in an affair with another man's wife, Warfstache responds to the problem the only way he knows how (Jun 12, 2013)

Warfstache Plays: Slender - Warfstache encounters the Slenderman once again, this time in Slendy’s own territory (Oct 16, 2013)

The Ned Affair [feat. MARKIPLIER] - In this sequel to the Warfstache Affair, Wilford Warfstache must face justice for what he's done (Aug 26, 2014)

Five Nights at Freddy's: The Interview - Wilford Warfstache interviews everyone's favourite disembodied voice, Phone Guy (Mar 7, 2015)

Warfstache Interviews Markiplier - In a move that is in no way meant to boost ratings, Markiplier is invited to guest star on Warfstache Tonight! (Sep 13, 2015)

A Date With Markiplier - DON’T PAY > DON’T ATTACK > PICK LOCK > STAY TOGETHER > MORE? Wilford Warfstache gets you to ask the real question (Feb 14, 2017)

Markiplier TV - Warfstache acts as a gameshow host and poses a revolutionary idea to his colleagues (May 5, 2017)

Wilford ‘MOTHERLOVING’ Warfstache - Following the events of Who Killed Markiplier, Detective Abe finally manages to track down the murderous and elusive Colonel William, now know by his latest persona: Wilford ‘Motherloving’ Warfstache (Aug 5, 2018)

Outliers

Amnesia: Rain | Part 6 (Final) | ENDGAME - Mark wears a pink mustache and plays around with his Warfstache voice (Apr 3, 2013)

Markiplier Animated | WARFSTACHE - An animation of the above video (Dec 3, 2014)

WARFSTACHE RIDES AGAIN | Critical Annihilation - Mark plays with a Wilford Warfstache avatar and talks a bit about the character (Feb 26, 2016)

—

Santaplier

Santa’s Rampage - [clever video summary TBA] (Dec 15, 2013)

Very Organized Santa - [clever video summary TBA] (Dec 18, 2013)

Santa Does Omegle - [clever video summary TBA] (Dec 25, 2013)

Markiplier’s Debut Christmas Album - [clever video summary TBA] (Apr 1, 2014)

Christmas Can’t Wait - [clever video summary TBA] (Nov 24, 2016)

SANTA SPILLS THE TEA - 0:00 Here to tell you who’s naughty and nice, here to tell you to buy merch for charity, here to tell you who the true original ego is, it’s Definitely Not Santa! (Dec 10, 2018)

Outliers

Happy Wheels Highlights - The series from which Santaplier was born, it’s a playlist of Happy Wheels, where you’re bound to catch our beloved drunken Santa appearing at least once in every video, sans the first one

Markiplier Animated | 1 Million Subscriber Special - Santaplier makes a brief appearance in this special animation featuring some of Mark’s best gaming moments up to this point (Nov 6, 2013)

Santiplier: The Game - Mark plays a Santaplier fangame, complete with epic sax music, rage, and moans of eviceral pleasure (Jun 18, 2014)

—

King of the Squirrels

King of the Squirrels - In his debut, the King smears peanut butter on his face in celebration of 80,000 subs (Jan 23, 2013)

King of the Squirrels Returns - The King is sick, but he is still the King! (Mar 26, 2015)

Markiplier TV - The King crashes the conference while Wilford Warfstache is receiving feedback on his revolutionary idea (May 5, 2017)

—

Dr. Iplier

Worst News Doctor - In his official debut, Dr. Iplier delivers a LOT of bad news to a young patient (Oct 27, 2013)

Markiplier TV - Dr. Iplier continues to deliver bad news and gives his thoughts on Wilford Warfstache's revolutionary idea (May 5, 2017)

SANTA SPILLS THE TEA - 8:20 Dr. Iplier may have to pay alimony, but YOU can still buy merch, all proceeds of which go to charity 15:44 A newborn child may not be able to buy merch, but YOU can, remembering all proceeds go to charity 27:26 Doctors need good hygiene, and that’s why Dr. Iplier buys merch, safe in the knowledge that all proceeds go to charity (Dec 10, 2018)

Outliers

Surgeon Simulator 2013 - A playlist of Mark's Surgeon Simulator playthroughs, from which come a lot of Dr. Iplier's catch phrases

Markiplier Animated | Surgeon Simulator - Dr. Iplier is NOT a fraud, and he’s gonna prove it in this animation of one of the above playthroughs! (Jun 13, 2013)

Markiplier Animated | SHUT UP NURSE!! - It’s just so hard for Dr. Iplier to get good help around here, as shown in this sequel to the above animation (Jun 27, 2013)

Markiplier Animated | MEET THE MEDIPLIER - When animated TF2 style, Dr. Iplier might just give the Medic a run for his money (Apr 19, 2014)

Markiplier Animated | GET THE SPOON - Doctors Mark and Wade try to utilize one of the most important tools in medical practice (Mar 26, 2016)

Surgeon Simulator IN REAL LIFE - Mark applies Surgeon Simulator in the real world (May 10, 2016)

—

Dapperplier

A Gentlemen's Dispute feat. CaptainSparklez - Dapperplier and Jordapper look to settle their differences in the most civilized way possible (Jul 21, 2014)

GENTLEMEN'S DISPUTE w/ Markiplier - See Jordapper's version of the above video (Jul 21, 2014)

REMATCH OF THE CENTURY | Max Gentlemen w/ Captain Sparklez - Dapperplier and Jordapper have fallen low and look to regain their honor in the most civilized way possible (Feb 10, 2015)

MAXIMUM GENTLEMEN'S DISPUTE w/ Markiplier - See how Jordapper remembers the above events (Feb 10, 2015)

—

Googleplier

Google IN REAL LIFE | ft. Markiplier - Google is thwarted in this Mathias edition of Googleplier's debut (Oct 31, 2014)

Google IRL - Google is defeated in this Markiplier edition of Googleplier's debut (Oct 31, 2014)

360 VIDEO | Let's Play Minecraft | Part 1 - Google restates his primary objective (Apr 1, 2017)

Markiplier TV - Google gives his thoughts on Wilford Warfstache's revolutionary idea (May 5, 2017)

Google Gets An Upgrade - Google receives a visit from Bing while in the middle of an upgrade (May 20, 2017)

Outliers

GOOGIPLIER RETURNS - Mathias plays a short fan-game in which Google IRL returns to show how useful he can be (Sep 11, 2015)

—

Yandereplier

MAKING LOVE FOR SENPAI | Yandere Simulator #14 - Yandereplier-chan shows her true colours in this kawaii intro! (Nov 13, 2016)

Outliers

Yandere Simulator - A playlist of Mark’s Yandere Simulator playthroughs, chock full of Mark being a giggly, yandere freak

Markiplier Animated - YANDERE SIMULATOR - Committing murder, becoming a fugitive, mopping up blood, kidnapping Boobs McKenzie: all in a day’s work for Yandereplier-chan in this animation of one of the above playthroughs! (Aug 21, 2015)

Yandere Simulator ANIMATED: The Squeakquel - Yandereplier-chan returns in this sequel to the above animation, and she’s gonna show everyone what for for not accepting her spicy sausage! (Aug 5, 2016)

—

Jim News

Markiplier TV - In their debut, Jim and Jim cover various disaster reports and weather reports (May 5, 2017)

CORPSE ABDUCTION? - In the midst of the Who Killed Markiplier mystery, Jim and Jim enter the scene of the crime to get the main scoop (Oct 10 or Oct 14, 2017)

SUSPECT WITH A SHOOTY?! - Continuing their investigation, Jim and Jim tail the possible murderer (Oct 11 or 14, 2017)

DEMONS JIM, DEMONS!! - Continuing their investigation, Jim and Jim attempt to contact the demons contained within the murder house (Oct 12 or 14, 2017)

DUMMY JIM REENACTS GRISLY SCENE! - Jim and Jim conclude their investigation with the help of Dummy Jim (Oct 13 or 14, 2017)

Breaking News

Five Nights at Freddy's: Pizzeria Simulator - Part 5 - 5:25 Jim News interrupts this playthrough to bring you breaking news: Markiplier is set to invade Europe! (Dec 6, 2017)

I KICKED ETHAN IN THE FACE - 1:53 Jim News interrupts these clips from Markiplier's last tour to bring you breaking news: Markiplier is going on tour again! (Dec 9, 2017)

—

Bingiplier

Google Gets An Upgrade - With a 'saaaahhh!' and a visit to Googleplier's, Bingiplier makes his obnoxious debut (May 20, 2017)

—

Eric Derekson

SANTA SPILLS THE TEA - Debut of Eric Derekson of Derek Derekson’s Charity Warehouse, where everything is super cool and fun and warm and there’s no anxiety or death or anything... Right, Dad? (Dec 10, 2018)

Timestamps: SANTA SPILLS THE TEA

4:15 - We make no money at Derek Derekson’s Charity Warehouse because all proceeds go to charity but that’s good, right?

5:57 - Want a dog leash?

7:21 - All proceeds go to charity and... Can we do that take again…?

8:54 - Our sweaters are warm and comfortable and you can wear them, please buy them…!

11:41 - This is fine, you still got me, Dad… Right?

14:09 - Get our deals cause they’re great and all proceeds go to charity and how are we still in business–

16:42 - Pull yourself together, Eric!

19:00 - I don’t have feet… Please buy these socks, all proceeds go to charity

20:57 - Please don’t lose your dog, please buy a dog leash, all proceeds go to charity

22:40 - *gross sobbing*

24:30 - I just wanted a farm…

26:23 - My brother Sterrick had no hands… Buy our merch, all proceeds go to charity

28:03 - I once had a termite farm...

29:42 - I had a dog once…

31:26 - My brother Gerrick liked to play with fire– I once had someone special– I wanted to have kids...

—

Randal Vorhees

SANTA SPILLS THE TEA - Move aside people, for the debut of everyone’s favourite New Yorker, Randal Vorhees! (Dec 10, 2018)

Timestamps: SANTA SPILLS THE TEA

5:09 - You ain’t gonna be not fashionable when you buy merch for charity!

6:49 - New York traffic is hell but that don’t stop you from buying merch for charity!

10:46 - Come to New York, see the Empire State Building, go to the park, and buy merch for charity!

14:50 - New York has the best pizza in the world and the best merch to buy for charity!

18:10 - Gotta hate when you can’t get a taxi, but at least you can always buy merch for charity!

21:54 - We just got a load’a merchandise! All proceeds go to charity!

25:26 - Heyyy there, pretty person, you look like you would like to buy merch for charity!

28:56 - Eyyy, sexy person! Why not buy some merch for charity?

30:21 - What’s more central than Central Park? This merch with all proceeds going to charity!

—

Derek Derekson

SANTA SPILLS THE TEA - Here debuts Derek Derekson, all-American representative of Derek Derekson’s Charity Warehouse, home of the best charity deals this side of the Mississippi (Dec 10, 2018)

Timestamps: SANTA SPILLS THE TEA

12:30 - Welcome to Derek Derekson’s Charity Warehouse, where you can’t get good help, but you CAN buy merch for charity

20:05 - Mosey on down to Derek Derekson’s Charity Warehouse for great quality merch that you can buy for charity

23:40 - [Derek Derekson’s Charity Warehouse is experiencing familial difficulties]

—

CYNDAGO CHARACTERS

This list was getting a tad congested with the release of A Heist With Markiplier, so just click here for the Cyndago characters

[nikkiiisays]

Mar - Jun 2021

Well, hello. Wow, I haven’t made an update like for the longest time. A year has passed, and frankly, there isn’t anything to write at all since my last post. It’s been the same day everyday. Who would have thought that being at home can drive you insane? Lol

Batch Flight, March 2021, Makati

I’ll start how 2021 is crowned as my worst year ever. For the most painful part, I lost my job at Philippine Airlines.. I got retrenched to be exact. The pandemic has made it really, really hard to keep everyone on board. Eventually they had to make cuts and I wasn’t senior enough to save my ass. Imagine being in the company for 5 years and this is what you get.

It was, and is still heartbreaking. Looking back, God knows how badly I wanted to be there, how I hauled my ass off everyday passing resumes, just to get that call. For it to be taken away just like that feels so surreal. My world is still crashing down. I’m back exactly where I started. I keep on thinking if this is God, listening to my midlife crisis woes and giving a solution to it. Or me being punished for being so distant and forgetting my promise (Friday is Quiapo Day)

March 2021, Parañaque

I have to move on, I have to keep going forward. I can’t stay and self-pity all day. Though I still am. With the money I got from PAL, I decided to get a laptop so I can easily look for jobs, build up my resume, learn something new or just… make something happen.

I did take up online courses though, I picked up on Social Media Marketing only to find out in the end how demanding it is and how difficult it is to find clients. My creativity too, was challenged at that point and it took me like 3-4hrs to do what my brother can do in 30 mins. Wtf

Still though, I applied through various jobs only to be rejected. By ALL of them. I might have been rusty with the interview part though, that’s why I didn’t get in. But hey, it’s a learning curve…right? I guess.

Joman and Warren’s despedida, March 2021, Shabunoki

It’s been really, really tough. Everyday, I’ve been hoping and praying for some good news but nothing has really come to help my situation. 4 mos into my unemployment and I haven’t gone very far and my money is literally running out already. Istg I don’t know how to survive the next month. It’s really stressing me out so much. So much that my mind has shut down and decided to Netflix all day. It’s so hard when I’m trying to do my best but nothing’s happening. With me being the breadwinner, I don’t how I can long I can help provide for everyone.

LF: Work, April 2021, Parañaque

I did try though like, re-selling stuff like the tamales, but it really isn’t for me. All the sales talking and stuff take up so much of my energy. Like, I’m at the point where I hate people so much so that I don’t talk to my friends anymore.

Life has really taken such a huge toll on me.

Oh god — wait. I have another story.

Boxing Pads, May 2021, PCJ

So yeah, I’m blabbing how much I hate talking to people right? Well there are days, I get pretty bored..and lonely so, I reinstalled Bumble, even Tinder too. AND MAN DID IT SUCK. Hahaha. I got ghosted yet again, and had someone the audacity to unfollow me immediately on IG after finding out I wasn’t flying anymore. Men are so pathetic. Really. This is why I prefer to be independent, they’re shit. They actually base how well they can show you off or how you can be fed to their pathetic little ego when in reality they really have nothing to offer at all. GOD I WASTED TIME i swear

Dad’s Chedeng, June 2021, Parañaque

Oh, we also sold our dad’s beloved Mercedes. It was tough. It was one of the last things that reminded me of dad. But practicality, we can’t take care of it, financially-wose with the pandemic ongoing and me losing my job. I miss my dad so much.

We lost our lola too…

Dad’s Chedeng Interior, June 2021, Parañaque

Look, I know I’ve never been really close with lola but she did turn out kinda okay afterwards. I have this regret where I wish I visited her or maybe called every now and then. But, idk, I never felt welcomed really. I believed what I wanted to believe.. still, it’s sad, she grew on to me when I lived there. I haven’t been there in 2 years, damn.

I can’t believe how a lot has happened and how much people we lost at this time. It’s frustrating and anxiety-inducing worrying who might be next.

Ii

Kalbo @ Banal na Bundol, July 2021, San Miguel, Bulacan

So now it’s July, I don’t want to jinx it but I really had a productive week. I might go more into journaling to organize my plans for the future and do something about it. I hope that this month works out for me. I need a win, I’ve been losing so much lately that I might have to give up on the world soon and just let myself go and die. Ha ha ha ha

My sanity’s at 70-80% and I don’t really know how long I can keep this up. God help me, God help us.

X, Nikki

PS here’s dogs to make me happy:

[soo-sex]

So, in the second part of the interview, after searching for "LINK", we tried to find out how much the "heart" of the 4 members is "linking" through 2-choice questions.

Q) Waiting for an appointment? A) to be the one who waits, B) to be one who makes others wait Hoon: A?  Eli: A Kiseop: A Jun: A 

Hoon: I was between A and B? But these 4 people are basically A, aren’t they? Soohyun-san is B. The leader likes to appear last. 

Q) Who cries most often among the members? A) Soohyun, B) Jun Hoon: A Eli: A Kiseop: A Jun: A

Jun: Of course, A! Hoon: Actually, it’s about the same. But Soohyun-san is 30 years old, and Jun-san is 22 years old. I thought that Soohyun-san cried for eight more years, so I chose A (lol). Jun: I’m growing steadily and becoming a man! Hoon: No, you’re still crying now. Because they’re 2 crybabies.

- Then, next is a question about Soohyun-san who cries the most in U-KISS.  Q) Which would you rather not see? A) angry Soohyun B) crying Soohyun Hoon: B  Eli: B Kiseop: A Jun: B

Hoon: Who said B? Kiseop: I said A. I can understand that Soohyun-san cries. He's now 30 years old.  Hoon: Haha. Does it have something to do with being 30?  Kiseop: As a leader, he’s thinking about the members of U-KISS, things about KISSmes, etc., so even if he cries, I can understand that weeping feeling. That's right. But I don’t want to see Soohyun-san get angry. It’s good to get angry, but since his character is bright, it’s better for him to joke like an entertainer. When Soohyun-san suddenly gets angry, the atmosphere of the place really changes, I don’t want to see him like that.  Hoon: Of course.

- But 3 people chose a crying Soohyun-san. Jun: Because the leader can’t cry. Hoon: You shouldn’t cry either! (laugh) Jun: I'm the maknae, so it's okay. Eli: I don’t want to see that because it makes me feel like I failed when Soohyun-san cries. But Soohyun-san who’s angry still loves us U-KISS members, so it makes me feel like working hard together. Hoon: He gets angry because he cares. Eli: Yes. So I think that it’d be better for him to be angry.

With the absence of leader Soohyun, while further strengthening their ties, each one has a sense of responsibility, They are keenly motivated to keep U-KISS alive, and we are very looking forward to their success in sparking new feelings.

[sanoiro]

Tagged by @ships-sailing-in-the-night <3

rules: answer these 85 statements (god damn, what is this a tumblr exam?!?!?) about yourself, then tag 20 peoples

I tag: @adragonstale @adragonstale @theshipperman @isk12-blog​

last

1. drink - water

2. phone call - ministry official

3. text message - uni phd candidate

4. song you listened to - "Lights Down Low" (Orchestral Version)  I loved it totally Deckerstar and I might wave to tweak it around for a fanvideo. 

5. time you cried - Second week of January. Baaaad jaw/toothache

6. dated someone twice - I’m not into that kind of sport ;) 

7. kissed someone & regretted it - Yes. 

8. been cheated on - nope!

9. lost someone special - One of my parents over a decade ago. A rather traumatic experience. 

10. been depressed - Yes. 

11. gotten drunk & thrown up - I have been drunk more than once but I have never thrown up. 

fave colors

12. deep forest green 

13. Light lilac 

14. Ligh blue

the last year have you…

15. made new friends - Nope!

16. fallen out of love - You can never fall out of love, you just have not experienced real love. In short no.  

17. laughed until you cried - I admit I was curious about @antarctic-echoes & Mia Vaan’s story Bloody Autocorrect so I read it and yes, I laughed so hard that I teared up.  18. found out someone was talking about you - It happens... I got published in a journal and online I met a dairies producer 

19. met someone who changed you - Hmmm... @adragonstale and @ships-sailing-in-the-night ? 

20. found out who your friends are - Life is always a mystery of dark spotted cookies. Take a bite... spit if you must. 

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - Nope! 

general

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in irl - Hmmm... All of them aside from around 10-15 perhaps... 

23. do you have any pets - At the moment 5 cats. 

24. do you want to change your name - why? I like it quite a lot thank you! :P

25. what did you do for your last birthday - Got two pieces of cake and ate them with my living parent. I also had a quick walk... 

26. what time did you wake up today - At 8:45 but I had gone to bed at 5...

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - Transcribing a research interview

28. what is something you can’t wait for - Huh... My warm milk tomorrow morning. 

29. what are you listening to right now - I’m watching a series on Netflix. 

30. have you ever talked to a person named tom - Hmmmm ...Not Tom but Thomas yes... 

31. something that’s getting on your nerves - Cheating of any kind. 

32. most visited website - Mail, tumblr, library, insta.... 

33. hair color - Chestnut brunette

34. long or short hair - Shortish and curly. 

35. do you have a crush on someone - I don’t think so. Perhaps a platonic one for years but does that even make sense if you don’t really care much about it?

36. what do you like about yourself - My teeth and the fact I never give up. 

37. want any (more) piercings? - Nope!

38. blood type - A-

39. nicknames - A couple...

40. relationship status - Single  41. zodiac - Libra

42. pronouns - She, Her

43. fave tv shows - Lois&Clark, Chuck, Drop Dead Diva, Miranda, Seven Days, The Invisible Man, Largo Winch, Yes Minister, 30 Rock, Hot In Cleveland... Lucifer?

44. tattoos - No, but I want my uni’s motto on the back of my left wrist. 

45. right or left handed - Mainly right but both. 

46. ever had surgery - Does Wisdom teeth removal count? (Seriously @ships-sailing-in-the-night does it? I say yes!)

47. piercings - Ears

48. sport - Volleyball and Horseriding but then RL happened... 

49. vacation - sigh... There is no time since I got in this programme but does the Northeast count?

50. trainers - As in shoes? Yes. 

more general

51. eating - Thai coconut, red curry chicken with pineapple chucnks and rice

52. drinking - Not cider for sure Ship. MILK!!!!!

53. I’m about to watch - Drop Dead Diva 3x10

54. waiting for - rain

55. want - To make the rules one day... 

56. get married - No idea... I want a child, a marriage? Not so much. Companionship? Maybe...

57. career - Scientist or something 

which is better

58. hugs or kisses - NEITHER!!! STAY AWAY FROM ME! 

59. lips or eyes - Eyes. 

60. shorter or taller - I love my 6 ‘ 3″ baby boy. 

61. older or younger - Hmmmm.... something in between :P 

62. nice arms or stomach - No real preference

63. hookup or relationship - Neither. 

64. troublemaker or hesitant - The best is both. 

have you ever

65. kissed a stranger - Thank Dad never. Hand-kissing aside that is.

66. drank hard liquor - Yep! 

67. lost glasses - Sunglasses? Way too many. 

68. turned someone down - Yes, a lot of times actually although if you knew me you would be surprised it ever happened. I just don't like new people so flirting is a painful and awkward situation for me which I always stop before escalating. 

69. sex on the first date - Nope. 

70. broken someone’s heart - Yes.... I never even realised the guy was asking me out for three months straight actually... 

71. had your heart broken - Yes but for a reason, I still do not comprehend.

72. been arrested - I had a close call...

73. cried when someone died - Yes. 

74. fallen for a friend - Partly. 

do you believe in

75. yourself - No. 

76. miracles - I have seen at least one so yes. 

77. love at first sight - No. 

78. Santa Claus - In times of need, it’s fun to believe just for the joy, not the toys obviously. 

79. kiss on a first date - ..... I would like to skip this one, please...

80. angels - Mondays 8/7c on Fox. 

other

81. best friend’s name - I call *** Jun. It’s nowhere near *** name though... Just a very old nickname I made up... 

82. eye color - brown

83. fave movie - The Fifth Element! 

84. fave actor - Rupert Everett 

85. fave actress - Betty White

[ladystylestores]

Trump’s Visa Ban Has Foreign Workers And Families Desperate For Answers

Courtesy of Sraboni Bose

Sraboni Bose with her family.

Sraboni Bose was sitting in her parents’ home in India this week closely reading a proclamation signed by President Trump that restricted the entry of thousands of foreign workers and their families. As she did, she looked for any confirmation that it wouldn’t affect her family.

Her husband, a software engineer, was in Texas and had a current H-1B visa. Check.

She had come to India in February for her brother’s wedding, but had her H-4 visa —for spouses and children of certain foreign workers — stamped and renewed. Check.

Her 5-year-old daughter was set to get her H-4 visa renewed before the coronavirus pandemic prompted the US to halt regular processing of visas. Foreign workers and their families can receive extensions on their stay in America, but if they travel abroad, updated visa stamps are necessary to reenter the US. She had yet to get the stamp.

Bose, 32, read the order over and over, and every time she came to the same fear: Since her daughter did not have her valid visa on June 24 as required by the proclamation, she believes she will not be allowed to return to the US.

“I was devastated. We never imagined this would occur,” she told BuzzFeed News. “How can a 5-year-old affect the economy? She studies pre-K and wants to see her dad.”

Desperate, Bose tweeted about her family’s saga.

“How can A H4 minor waiting for stamping for 4 months in India affect the economy!?? @USCIS @StateDept . We have been waiting in India for four months for her F2F Interview which was cancelled in light of Covid-19. There should be some considerations when the H1 is in USA,” she wrote.

How can A H4 minor waiting for stamping for 4 months in India affect the economy!?? @USCIS @StateDept . We have been waiting in India for four months for her F2F Interview which was cancelled in light of Covid-19. There should be some considerations when the H1 is in USA. https://t.co/nwT0bTMmWE

06:22 AM – 25 Jun 2020

A State Department spokesperson said the agency could not comment on individual cases because visa records are confidential under federal law, and instead referred to the text of Trump’s proclamation.

Bose is just one of thousands of people stuck abroad or who have family outside the US seeking answers on social media in the days since Trump signed his order suspending some employment-based visas for foreigners.

It’s a phenomenon that’s played out since the beginning of the Trump era: a broad order impacting thousands of people who are left confused, anxious, and seeking help or advice online.

The proclamation has spawned hashtags such as #excludeusfromban and #LetMeGoHome. Immigration attorneys who have put out calls for stories or offered advice have been inundated with replies and messages. The State Department has been responding to tweets all week on the order’s particulars. Even some reporters have been sought out for their expertise.

“The administration’s execution of this and other immigration policies shows a complete disregard for the affected populations,” said Sarah Pierce, an analyst at the Migration Policy Institute. “Ideally, a major policy change like this one would have been accompanied by Q&As from relevant agencies to educate the public and efforts to reach out to stakeholders so they were prepared for the change. Instead, we’ve seen the affected population and their advocates reduced to seeking advice on their futures in 240-character bits.”

Trump’s proclamation details how “under ordinary circumstances, properly administered temporary worker programs can provide benefits to the economy.” But under the economic situation following the pandemic, “certain nonimmigrant visa programs authorizing such employment pose an unusual threat to the employment of American workers.”

The order, signed Monday, suspended H-1B visas for specialized highly skilled workers, most H-2B visas for nonagricultural seasonal workers, most J-1 visas for exchange visitors, and H-4 visas for those accompanying workers.

Sharvari Dalal-Dheini, director of government relations at the American Immigration Lawyers Association, said the conversations on Twitter were proof of “total confusion, lack of clear guidance, and fear for people’s livelihoods and their futures.”

The outpouring of questions and pleas for help this past week could also be attributed to the large number of people affected and the cumulative impact of yet another immigration order restricting access to the US, said Greg Siskind, a Tennessee-based immigration lawyer.

Siskind said he has received thousands of messages on social media. When he can’t get to a question on Twitter, people flood his LinkedIn, Facebook, and email seeking advice.

“This is the usual botched roll out we’ve gotten used to with this White House,” he said in reference to previous orders like the initial ban on travel from seven Muslim-majority countries that led to chaos at airports across the US.

Reed Saxon / AP

A woman offers legal services at the customs arrival area as demonstrators opposed to President Trump’s executive orders barring entry by Muslims from certain countries march at Los Angeles International Airport on Feb. 4, 2017.

This time around, he said, the order’s language has tripped up even the most seasoned of attorneys.

“The order itself is written confusingly so even the experts can’t really be sure who’s in and who’s out,” he said.

There are still questions on whether those who have current visas, but leave the US and go abroad, will be subject to the ban if they need new visa stamps to return.

Siskind said State Department officials have said online that these individuals would not be able to return to the US, but “that’s a complete contradiction of the plain language of the order.” He believes that those like Bose’s child could be denied entry.

Gayatri Patankar, a 32-year-old Arizona resident, was one of those who reached out to Siskind on Twitter. She had gone to India along with her infant and husband earlier this year. She had needed a new H1B visa stamp, but was unable to receive it because of the consulate closures. She later lost her job and hoped to return to the US on an H4 visa along with her husband.

“Hi, I came India with 2 month old infant for family reasons and have been stuck here since then. I have been studying/working in USA for 7 years now. We have our home, car and other belongings back in USA. Please help us go back home. This is not fair,” Patankar tweeted at Siskind.

@gsiskind Hi, I came India with 2 month old infant for family reasons and have been stuck here since then. I have been studying/working in USA for 7 years now. We have our home, car and other belongings back in USA. Please help us go back home. This is not fair.

05:22 PM – 24 Jun 2020

She asked for help and guidance on Twitter, she added, because “we don’t know what else to do.”

Sakshi Sharma, a 30-year-old H-1B visa holder who lives in Baltimore, had been thinking about her husband when she went on social media. He had to leave the US for Canada once his student visa ran out.

Because of the proclamation, he will not be able to receive an H-4 visa to accompany her in the US.

“I am personally impacted by the family separation ban. I know friends who visited India to meet dying parents for one last time, leaving newly wedded spouse, home, car, everything in US and are now stuck! This is inhuman,” she tweeted.

She posted her predicament on Twitter because she wanted people to know that the proclamation “separates me from my husband..we have a lot of things planned for our personal and professional life for the next 6 -12 months, now with this ban we have lost all of that.”

Meanwhile, Bose is left with difficult conversations with her 5-year-old daughter on whether they will be able to return to the US anytime soon.

The family has lived in the US for the last three years.

“I don’t know how to explain it to her,” she said. “I told her, ‘Right now the proclamation is not letting us because they think some of us can work and that cannot help them because they want more work. It’s like you’re grounded or in a timeout. You can’t see your dad for another 6 months.’”

Jun. 26, 2020, at 23:40 PM

Correction: Sraboni Bose’s name was misspelled in an earlier version of this post.

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[bryonysimcox]

Keep On Pushing: Week 20 and a 1/2, Spain

Move on up, and keep on wishing Remember your dream is your only scheme So keep on pushing

In looking for a title for this week (and a half)’s blog, I was reminded of the words of Curtis Mayfield. These words, from one of my all-time favourite songs ‘Move On Up’ are also painted across the walls of my all-time favourite nightclub, World Headquarters in Newcastle.

‘Keep on Pushing’ feels like an appropriate mantra for the last ten days for a variety of reasons. Firstly, the longer life is affected by measures to manage the Covid-19 pandemic (despite us no longer being under strict lockdown), the more I have to push to stay positive. As I’ve mentioned in this blog before, part of that process is making my peace with a new 2020, one in which we travel less in the van, stay put in Spain for longer and innovate to make Broaden, our videography project, stay afloat amid it all.

On that note, the last week and a half has seen George and I make progress on a number of projects. I’m still working on the video about ‘Ecological Economics’ which I’ve been making for a while now, and last Saturday we recorded a voiceover to go with some of the footage of an interview I did with the wonderful economist Simon Mair. It was pretty fun to make a homemade vocal booth (basically a den made with chairs, sheets and cushions) in order to record the sound! I’ll be starting on animated graphics for that video too, so hopefully it’ll be out soon.

I’m really looking forward to starting a conversation about what alternative economic futures might look like post Coronavirus.

In addition to the Ecological Economics video, we’ve wanted to film the beautiful little town of Corbera for a while now. On Sunday we finally got around to doing just that as part of an initiative called ‘Have You Ever Heard Silence’. The project, started by a videography firm in Germany, seeks to bring people from around the world together to capture footage of life throughout the pandemic.

(images, left to right) Filming in the town of Corbera, recording a voiceover, and more shots for the ‘Have You Ever Heard Silence’ project. 

As part of this project, we wanted to capture the essence of the town when it’s still relatively quiet - before the cafes have filled up and the church opens its doors for service. So we headed out early morning, as the first signs of life emerged - people out walking their dogs, cafe owners setting up chairs and tables, and old ladies out in their aprons sweeping their front doorsteps. It was a special experience to capture this place that we’re staying in and have grown to love, and I can’t wait to see the footage as part of the ‘Have You Ever Heard Silence’ documentary.

I’ve started to cut together some of that footage into shorter videos on our instagram too, including one with a quote from writer and thinker Charles Eisenstein. It’s from his recent essay ‘The Coronation’, which is absolutely worth a read and presents an interpretation of this pandemic in a slightly different way than the mainstream save-lives-at-all-costs approach. He says:

“How much of life are we willing to sacrifice at the altar of security?

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A post shared by George Webster & Bryony Simcox (@broaden._) on Jun 13, 2020 at 6:28am PDT

(video) Shots from filming in Corbera.

The other reason that ‘Keep On Pushing’ felt an apt title is the ongoing struggle against systemic racism. I discussed some of my initial shock at George Floyd’s murder in last week’s blog post, but this week I have observed a shift both in terms of the messaging from the ‘Black Lives Matter’ movement as well as a shift internally. As time unfolds, I push forward to process not only George’s killing, the ensuing protests (and even now, the counter protests from far-right groups), but the underlying issues at play in society and the potential solutions to such a systemic problem.

While the movement against racism is finally receiving mainstream visibility, it doesn’t mean this fight hasn’t been going on for centuries. In the words of Audre Lorde, “Revolution is not a one-time event”. There has been some fantastic archival footage doing the rounds on social media, of the likes of Gil Scott-Heron on racism and change back in the 90s, or of David Bowie calling MTV out for their lack of black representation in 1983. In a way, the more I realise people have been demanding justice, equality and fairness for so many years, fighting the same fight that people today are fighting in the name of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor and Ahmaud Arbery, the more shocking it is that there is still so much work to be done.

Revolution = Knowledge + Empathy + Action

This is Rachel Cargle’s ‘recipe for revolution’. I’ve found it to be such a clear, logical and empowering approach to changing a systematic problem and knowing where to start. And whilst this recipe is referring to a revolution where people are no longer discriminated based on race, I think this combination of learning plus feeling plus doing is a pretty powerful combination for taking on other issues too, like climate change, sexism and neoliberalism.

For me, part of this learning process has been looking back at my own life and the ways in which I’ve been on the receiving end of an invisible bias - a bias based on the colour of my skin. And time again when I ask myself this question, the most obvious (and also uncomfortable) example of this privilege is my experience of living in Australia (2016-19).

Moving to a country on the other side of the world gave me an insight into the kind of rigorous process migrants face as they try to obtain visas and work permits to get into places like Britain. And while the visa process I experienced as I transitioned my ‘Working Holiday Visa’ onto a ‘Skilled Temporary Worker Visa’ was invasive, expensive and unpleasant, I absolutely know it would be so much harder for people from ‘less favourable’ countries or with more ‘foreign-sounding’ names to go through the same process. On top of that, this kind of entry process discriminates against older people (you can’t get the Working Holiday if you’re over 30) or people whose skills aren’t deemed ‘Skilled’, or who don’t have the money for the process either. In so many ways, my experience in Australia was made easier because I’m white, I’m from the commonwealth and English is my mother tongue.

Beyond observing the ways in which I was treated in Australia, whilst I lived there it quickly became apparent that the country has a long way to go to reconcile its oppressive and colonial past, and the ongoing racism directed towards Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples.

Beyond the utterly appalling fact that these people weren’t even recognised as human beings until 1967, their subsequent treatment continues to be unjust. It is with sadness, and even shame, that I’m able to reflect so joyfully on my time spent in a country in which its own government treats the very people from that land so poorly. My memories of a beautiful country, a well-paid job and a fantastic circle of friends sit uncomfortably alongside a different reality played out in shocking statistics. First Australians are the most incarcerated race in the world, have some of the highest suicide rates globally, and there have been over 432 Indigenous deaths in custody (since the 1991 Royal Commission into this statistic).

Fuelled by statistics like these, and in light of global ‘Black Lives Matter’ protests, Vanessa Turnbull Roberts recently made an utterly compelling speech. Vanessa is a Bundjalung woman, law & social work student and human rights activist, and she spoke in anticipation of a march planned the following day in Sydney. She spoke about the pain of Aboriginal people in Australia, the need for accountability, and the importance of justice in a way which was deeply, deeply moving. And whilst I highly recommend watching the whole speech, what she specifically said about kinship has really stuck with me:

“Law is what builds the colonial system. But where my sisters and brothers come from, we’re built off lore. L-O-R-E: where we work on kinship and we stand up for one another.”

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A post shared by Nessa Turnbull Roberts (@nessaturnbullroberts) on Jun 5, 2020 at 1:15am PDT

(video) Vanessa Turnbull Roberts speaking in Sydney.

There’s been a tendency for people to look at the situation in places like Australia or America and say that racism doesn’t exist in the UK. But the colonial systems which have affected those countries have deep roots tracing back to the UK, and the legacy of colonialism is alive and real there. Artists and activists like George the Poet (whose recent interview with Emily Maitlis on BBC Newsnight is well worth a watch) and Akala have spoken out about race and the UK. The voices of Black people living in Britain like these two inspirational guys have really encouraged me to peel back the layers of the UK’s history and to take a deeper look at the country that I’m from.

All of this has in some ways left me feeling overwhelmed and deflated. This past week, as I’ve balanced an unplanned period living in Spain with enormous systemic issues like racism (a strange dualism which I wrote about in last week’s post), I guess the single thread is that I’ve tried to keep on pushing. And someone who really embodies that impassioned quest for a better world is Tommy Caulker.

Tom Caulker is one of those people that I am honoured to have met. As a DJ, night-club owner, and activist for racial harmony, Tom’s life is his mission, and his mission is to make Newcastle a more tolerant and inclusive place.

(image) A portrait I took of Tom in his home back in 2015 for my blog post.

So I conclude this post with the third reference to ‘Keep on Pushing’, as those same words are painted across the walls of World Headquarters nightclub, the club that Tom Caulker founded. I first came across the club in my time at uni, and fell in love with the place’s unpretentious character, inclusive atmosphere, and the Northern Soul, funk and disco music that was played. It was only after I learnt a bit more about the club’s founder that I became intrigued in its story and its mission, and ultimately asked Tom if I could interview him (believe it or not for a blog post on here almost five years ago!).

In that interview, it became apparent that Tom is a man who lives his mission. He wears his heart on his sleeve, believes in a better world, and takes concrete actions to create that world. In that interview, we spoke about a short film that Channel 4 were in the process of making about him and the club. Five years on, and I’ve stumbled across the finished video and watching it in lockdown has been a real inspiration.

(video) The Channel 4 short documentary about World HQ.

In the video, Tom talks more about his experiences growing up in the UK and being subjected to racism at school, a formative background which influenced his later position at the renowned Trent House pub. In response to overt racism displayed by police, doormen and institutions in the North East in the 80s and 90s, Tom used music to promote inclusion - first at Trent House and later at World Headquarters, which he continues to run and DJs at. Tom describes the place as “a beacon of tolerance”. Far more than just a club, World Headquarters is a place that stands for something, and proudly displays its values on its walls through paintings, posters and slogans, of which include the mural of Curtis Mayfield with his powerful ‘Move On Up’ lyrics.

So as I wrap up another post, reflecting on the pleasure of interviewing Tom and the energy he exudes, I’m left feeling optimistic. There is much work to be done, but we’ve just got to keep on pushing...

[kpopkrappykraftbin]

It’s Okay to Cry

Another Jun x Oc... or Joshua x Oc... we’ll see how this goes

college turned zombie au

its past 3 a.m. someone plz send halp

Chapter 1

Word Count: 3778

Chapters: 1, 2, 3

Masterlist

     There are certain things you remember for the rest of your life. Your mother’s smile; your father’s hugs; the feeling of sunshine on your skin. You remember living in your happy home going day in and day out in blissed mediocrity. Studying after school Monday through Friday; meeting up with friends on the weekend. Worrying about things like your next in class presentation or whether or not your crush saw you trip on your way to class. All the stupid things you can’t wait to get over after you “grow up” and figure it all out. That’s what happens when you get out of high school, right? You figure it all out and your life magically falls into place.

    In your case, it fell apart, though you were not alone.

    Shortly after graduation, you enrolled into a college. It was nothing special, but it was your next step to becoming your own person and striking out on your own, even if only a bit. You had decided to live on campus to gain some independence, even if you were only a half hour away from your parents, you were still on your own kinda… right? Getting yourself sorted and learning how to use the laundromat was your first obstacle but by the end of the first semester you knew exactly which washers worked and which made your clothes smell like celery. And you almost never got lost… anymore… usually… it was a big campus.

    It was an unassuming Tuesday after class that you were studying at a cafe in the student union. Typically you would return to your dorm room after class but you were in need of some caffeine and your sweet tooth couldn’t resist. Being that it was only around 1:30, the hall that was usually crowded with ping-pong players and sports game watchers was empty, the wide flat screen t.v. hooked on the wall was playing news at a barely audible volume. You settled on the small couch in front of it opening your laptop to start procrastinating your homework. It was about 10 minutes into watching pointless youtube videos that you heard something that caught your attention.

Breaking News: And here we are at Charity’s Hospital, where a family of four were admitted earlier this morning showing signs of fever and delirium. We were recently informed that one of the children attacked and bit a staff member unprovoked. So far he has shown no signs of being infected by the bite. But the family only seems to be becoming more rabid as staff try to transport them to a safer more fortified facility to monitor their health condition. We were lucky enough to catch the doctor who was attacked only a half hour ago and ask a few questions…

    Thinking back to it now, that would be the way the media unknowingly revealed the first case of the disease. A glamorized version of a fatal condition. From then on, more and more people with symptoms of fever and disorientation appeared and most of them fell into the same aggressive, unreasonable savageness-- they always bit.  A mother at the zoo: launched herself at her best friend effectively ripping the skin from the other woman’s jaw before being tackled by security and tazed-- a coincidence-- the media said. A father at home waiting on dinner bit the pizza delivery man hard enough to puncture muscle on the teenager’s forearm before the kid ran away-- an odd occurrence possibly related to some disease-- the media touted. A young boy at school: bit off the ear of a classmate during storytime. Trust the endangerment of small children to really get the media going. A national crisis they claimed. Well, they were almost right.

    No one ever was able to figure out what happened to the biters after the incident. They were always somehow detained with no public record or eye witness accounting. The victims were usually gone within the next few days of whatever interviews a few news stations could get a hold of. With the nation’s public asking for answers and the common people doing their own research, it was soon brought to everyone’s attention that this was not a national crisis but a worldwide pandemic. People all over the world reported having seen others acting disoriented, some even said hungry one moment and rabid the next. Different nations were handling the “disease” differently. Some countries tried to treat them as patients in designated wards of hospitals, some countries kept all the infected at a camp for supposed treatment where those who were to look after them wore hazmat suits and the patients remained chained up similarly the animals they acted like; some countries, executed on sight. You can only imagine the outrage the government and hospitals faced from advocates of the sick.

    “Where do they think they get off treating actual human beings like that?” ranted your roommate and friend, Leena. “They couldn’t get away with that if they treated animals the same! It’s wrong, they’re people and they have feelings. This is an infringement on their right to no cruel and unusual punishment! And they didn’t even do anything wrong! They’re sick!”

    You knew Leena had strong feelings on the subject, and you could see where she was coming from. Some of the tried treatments and accommodations for the diseased weren’t exactly human health and happiness friendly. But at the same time, as far as you knew, the patients were savage and couldn’t be reasoned with. Letting them roam free would at best get other people injured-- at worst? Spread the disease. It was well intentioned people like your roommate that was causing trouble with protests about letting those with the disease out or trying to get more personalized treatment to each patient. So far none of the protests had gotten violent but you could only suppose when that would happen, and it would.

    You had convinced your parents that you were sure you were just fine staying on campus amidst all the protesting chaos, and that you wouldn’t get in the middle of it. Besides a few protests a week and the new wariness around those with symptoms of something as simple as the common cold, and going without breakfast life on campus remained relatively normal. You were walking away from your last class of the day with your close classmate Joshua. A sweet, soft spoken boy with a mischievous side and a knack for somehow always taking better lecture notes than you.

    He was rather good looking, but not your type, you couldn’t say he wasn’t nice to look at though. You didn’t blame his fangirls for falling for him. Your favorite part about him had been his smile. You couldn’t see it now. He always wore a face mask. The paranoia from the rabid sickness had struck deeply with your classmate. Along with the small mouth and nose cover, he always had a bottle of hand sanitizer on him and rarely touched anyone or anything he wasn’t sure was clean. It made you sad to see the changes the disease had caused to your friend without him even being directly affected. The only sign you got of his smile nowadays were tilting of his crescent shaped eyes creating a half moon eye smile.

    You and Joshua managed to have a few classes together and coincidentally lived in the same living hall, so walking together wasn’t uncommon. After getting off the elevator for your floor, you and Joshua were nearly knocked down.

    “Oh! Y/N! I’m so glad you’re here. I’m on my way to the protest in front of the hospital on Main and Calico, do you wanna go?” your roommate was practically vibrating with excitement, unfortunately you didn’t share the enthusiasm.

    “Isn’t that the one with the biggest biters ward in the state?” Joshua uncharacteristically cut into the conversation, “ You really probably shouldn’t go, it could be dangerous if the protest gets out of hand.” he softly disputed looking at her sincerely.

    Leena rolled her eyes at his use of slang. “Biters” being a derogatory term to the patients.

   “That’s why I have to go” she brushed him off not unkindly “It’s the biggest violation of human rights in the state. We have to help these people.” she argued before checking the time on her cellphone. “Y/N, we have to go now if we wanna get there in time for the protest, are you coming?” she asked hopefully.

    She didn’t want to go alone, but she would go with or without you. You hesitated. You didn’t want to go; you didn’t want her to go. But you knew she would and what if she needed someone to help her stay out of trouble when the police came to break it up? Joshua grabbed your hand in slight anxiety trying to anchor you there, safe at school. Your roommate didn’t seem to notice as she shifted her weight from one foot to another waiting for your answer.

    “Not today” you told her apologetically.

    She didn’t take offense, “No worries, I’ll catch you later then!” She waved before dashing to the stairwell, her small blue backpack bouncing against her back.

    “I’m sorry. I just don’t like those protests. They worry me.” Joshua confided in you once you reached the door to your room.

    “You and my parents both” you laughed to put your friend at ease, “Don’t worry, I wasn’t planning on going anyways, I have special plans that couldn’t be rescheduled.”

    “And those are?” He asked sensing your joking tone.

    “Eating, binge watching netflix and sleeping.” you listed off in fake seriousness.

    “Oh very important stuff then.” Joshua concluded “Mind if I join you for the first two activities?”

    “Of course you’re welcome!” you exclaimed “but you gotta bring your own snacks.” you tacked the condition onto your invite.

    “Alright. Will do. I’ll see you in, 20 minutes then?”

    “Yep, come on over in your comfy clothes and bearing gifts of food.” you confirmed with him before unlocking your door. You gave him a quick wave that he returned before slipping through your door.

    You took your time putting on some comfy pjs, a simple t shirt and sweatpants. Then you checked around your room to make sure no bras or panties were hanging out in the open. You and Joshua were close, but not that close. Having the room cleaned enough and having set up your laptop for the ultimate netflix experience, you went to wash off the day’s make up-- chances were, you would rub it off by the end of the night anyways. Walking back from the washroom you got out your secret stash of candy and chips. After some digging around you found a couple bags of popcorn and tossed one into the microwave. You settled on the bed letting the smell of buttery heaven surround you as you waited for your netflix buddy.

    By the time you were shaking the second bag of popcorn into the bowl you had for you and Joshua to share, you heard a knock at your door.

    “Come in!” you said loud enough to be heard.

    “You should really lock the door even when you’re here” Joshua reprimanded you with a small smirk. He didn’t want to be bossy, but you knew he meant what he said.

    “Okay, okay worrywart. I’ll lock the door more often. Now get over here so we can start our netflix marathon.” you demanded.

    Joshua laughed and complied coming over to sit on you bed bouncing slightly.

    “So what are we watching?” he asked as you plopped into place next to him a wide spread of snacks scattered around the two of you.

    “Oh you know I was thinking ‘Zombeavers’, what do you think?” you hovered the mouse over the cover of the bikini clad girl who had a beaver between her legs.

    “Ooh, perfect.” came the too happy, sarcastic reply.

    After about 10 minutes of going back and forth on what to watch, you two decided to settle for ‘The Office’. Something that was entertaining but neither of you had a problem giving commentary throughout either. It was maybe 8 episodes into season one and quite possibly 8 boxes of candy that you passed out next to your friend. You slept so well you didn’t remember a single dream.

    That was probably why you jumped out of your skin when heard a knock at your door. Joshua also stirred from his sleeping position next to you. You glanced at your computer to see the time was; 8:46 pm. Another knock. Joshua moved his legs so you could slide off the bed. You opened the door to see your hall resident assistant, Justin.

   “Hi Y/N, is Leena in there with you too?” he asked peeking over your shoulder.

   “No she went out earlier, She’ll probably be out a while longer.” you said.

    Noticing the apparent apprehension in the RA’s shoulders, you felt the need to ask, “Why, is everything okay?”

    He ignored your question, “After I leave, don’t answer the door for anybody, not even Leena. Do you understand?”

    His command had you breaking out in a nervous sweat. What was going on? Why couldn’t you let anyone in? Especially your roommate.

    “Both of you stay in your room here until me or the other RA, Samantha, get you. This door must stay closed and locked.”

    “But Leena-”

    “Don’t worry about Leena right now, we’ll get everything sorted tomorrow. Just stay inside with the doors locked.”

    “Alright.” Joshua’s voice came from right behind your shoulder, making you jump slightly.

    Looking back at your friend you saw him nod slightly to your RA before he closed the door for you, turning the lock into place. Turning to face him completely you saw a very stone faced Joshua. In fact he almost looked sick. He didn’t have his face mask on, but he wasn’t smiling. How you missed that smile.

    “What’s going on Joshua?” you asked, trying to keep your voice from trembling. Something was very not right.

    “I think you need to see this.” was all he said as he lead you by the wrist back to your laptop.

    He had pulled up some web news site but you honestly couldn’t remember which. What you did remember was the headline.

PROTEST AT CHARITY’S HOSPITAL GONE WRONG: BITERS ESCAPE, ARE YOU SAFE?

    Accompanying the article was a plethora of pictures from the protest. All of them depicting a handful at least of patients attacking police and protesters alike. The diseased looked worse than you remember seeing them the first time.

    “They look almost…”

    “Dead.” Joshua filled in for you. Looking just as grim as you felt.

    “Wait, Leena, I need to call her maybe she got out and can still make it here before the lock all the doors-”

    “Y/N” Joshua tried to softly interrupt you.

    “Or she can find another place to sleep tonight, there’s plenty of hotels around, maybe she can stay there-” “Y/N” he tried again, slightly louder.

    “O-o-or maybe she’s found some other friend’s house to stay at for the night already-”

    “Y/N” at full volume, Joshua stopped your panicked monologue, “I don’t think” he took a deep breath, “I don’t think she got out.” he finished while pointing at one of the smaller pictures on the screen.

    It was blurry, but there was no doubt: the small blue backpack only further confirmed it. That was Leena on the screen being attacked by a biter.

    “No. no, no, no, no.” was all you could say hands coming up to cover your mouth. You thought you were going to be sick.

   Joshua just wrapped his arms around you and held you. Trying to steady your emotions while swallowing his  own mounting fear. At some point you started crying into Joshua’s shirt. He had smelled like soap and light aftershave. Clean. Alive. You don’t know when you stopped ugly sobbing and had resorted to silent constant tears. But it must have been quiet enough for you two to hear another knock on the door.

    Both of you were startled. It couldn’t have been more than a few hours since Justin had come around telling everyone to stay locked in their rooms. You and Joshua looked at each other begging the question of what to do. Should you ask who was outside?

    “Y/NNN” Leena’s voice slurred from outside. You raised half way off the bed before Joshua grabbed your forearm, shaking his head.

    “Y/NN come on” Leena whined on the other side of the door. I’m tired and just want to go to bed. The protest was awful. I’m hungry.” she continued to beg from the other side of the door. Both you and Joshua were frozen.

    “Really, Y/N, I know you can hear me I just wanna go to bed. I just need to grab a bite before die of starvation.”

    You felt Joshua’s hand tighten slightly at her words.

    “Y/N come on, open the door!” Leena emphasized her point with a solid kick to the door. “I really will starve if you don’t let me in! I’m so hungry and tired.” She complained angrily.

    You waited with bated breath to see what she would do next. Something was definitely wrong with Leena. You were terrified. After a few seconds spent in anxiety filled silenced you heard another knock on the door, and then another, and another. The knocking turned to pounding and then an even louder thumping. Was she actually throwing herself at the door? Joshua guided you towards the back corner of the room, slightly standing in front of you. The noises stopped. Silence ensued. You grabbed the back of Joshua’s t shirt tightly.

    Then came the jiggle of the door knob. She had a key. How could you be so stupid? Of course she had a key, she lived here too. And if she had a key, she could get in. Both you and Joshua had forgotten to latch the top safety chain. The doorknob turned. Why did everything seem like it was moving in slow motion, yet you had no power to move?

    The door inched open slowly, “Y/N, Why wouldn’t you let me in?” Leena’s voiced slithered saccharinely from the crack of the open doorway. “Did you really want me to die?” the question hung suspended in air. In the silence all you could hear was your own heartbeat. “I’m sooo hungry.” Time started again as Leena burst through the door teetering faster than you expected towards you and Joshua.

    Leena was sweating and pale. Her arms reached in front of you to get either of you. It was when she was nearly in front of you that Joshua moved. He dodged to the side narrowly missing your roommate. She didn’t seem to notice as she lunged for you. As much as you wanted to gape at your best friend’s back as he deserted you for your diseased roommate, your attention was snapped to her when she tackled you to the ground, hands pinning your shoulders down; teeth snapping in your face.

    Now you and Leena were of similar size, making you think it was possible under normal circumstances for you two to be evenly matched. This was not normal circumstance. Where you had adrenaline, Leena had desperation. You could barely manage to keep her head far enough away from your body to not be bitten. And when she in turn started trying to bite any part of you in reach you started to panic, kicking vigorously from beneath her. You could feel your arms straining against her unyielding force. No words came from her mouth anymore, just guttural growls.

    ‘How could he leave me?’ You thought in hopelessness as you began to feel your arms fold. You stared into the deranged face of your once good friend and roommate, accepting that it would probably be the last thing you saw. You closed your eyes allowing the last couple tears of your to slip past your eyelashes.

    A resounding wet crack made you pop them wide open.

   You looked up the see Leena slack jawed, blood dripping from her mouth. Her head misshapen. She collapsed luckily just to the side of your body, face down. Your eyes following the dead weight.

    “Y/N!” your gaze snapped to the owner of the voice. “We need to go somewhere else, now.” He said tightly, trying to keep his tone under control. Trying not to scare you, you realize in retrospect. “Now.”

    There stood your Joshua holding a broken, bloodied closet bar in both hands. He was breathing as if he had just run a marathon and looked just as scared as you felt. But he was there. You scrambled up to follow him, whatever his plan may be. You wanted to get out of that damned dorm room now. Joshua quickly started to usher you out of the room, hand on your back. But something made your hair stand on end. You looked back. Leena was up and coming for whoever she could get her hands on. Joshua with his back turned was too slow to put up any defense. You were not.

    You grabbed the closet bar from his hands and stuck is straight at her. Eyes closed waiting for impact. You felt a heavy jolt, but did not open your eyes until the choking sounds hit your ears. Opening your eyes slowly you saw what you had done. In front of you was an almost dead Leena. Surely on her way out. The bar through the base of her jaw and out the back of her skull. You stared at her eyes as the manic light dithered away and she went completely slack.

    You jolted upright in your tent. Another memory turned night terror. You looked around the inside of your small survival tent, trying to even out your breathing. After over a year of traveling and killing off more biters than you could count. That day, that face still haunted you. Would you never forget? No. You knew.

    There are certain things you never forget.

[khouj-blog1]

سشمیتا سین پردہ اسکرین پرواپسی کے لیے تیار

New Post has been published on https://khouj.com/entertainment/141562/

سشمیتا سین پردہ اسکرین پرواپسی کے لیے تیار

بولی وڈ اداکارہ اور سابق مس یونیورس سشمیتا سین کافی عرصے سے پردہ اسکرین سے غائب ہیں مگر اب ایسا لگتا ہے کہ وہ ایک بار پھر واپسی کے لیے تیار ہیں۔

وہ آخری مرتبہ 2010 کی بولی وڈ فلم ’نو پرابلم‘ میں کام کرتی نظر آئیں تھیں، جس کے بعد وہ 2015 ایک بنگالی فلم میں بھی جلوہ گر ہوئیں، مگر صاف ظاہر ہے وہ بیشتر افراد نے نہیں دیکھی تھی.

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Sushhhhh!!! 🤫 They’re looking!!!😉😄❤️💋#softwhispers #loudfeelings #simplyus @rohmanshawl 💑

A post shared by Sushmita Sen (@sushmitasen47) on Feb 5, 2019 at 11:35am PST

بس گزشتہ سال یہ خبر سامنے آئی تھی کہ وہ کسی نیٹ فلیکس پراجیکٹ کا حصہ بن سکتی ہیں اور اب لگتا ہے کہ انہوں نے اس کا حتمی فیصلہ کرلیا ہے۔

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My #kolkata 👊❤️😁 #cherished 🙏#upcloseandpersonal #interviews #moments #pictures 💋 love you guys!!!! #duggadugga ❤️

A post shared by Sushmita Sen (@sushmitasen47) on Jan 23, 2019 at 8:39am PST

ایک انسٹاگرام پوسٹ میں سشمیتا سین نے طویل وقفے کے بعد واپسی کا عندیہ دیتے ہوئے لکھا ‘میک اپ، ہیئر، لائٹ اور آئینہ، راؤنڈ 2، میں واپسی کی تیاری کررہی ہوں’۔

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#jetaime ❤️ @rohmanshawl #Alisah we missed you Renee Shona!!!💋

A post shared by Sushmita Sen (@sushmitasen47) on Jan 22, 2019 at 10:43am PST

تاہم اداکارہ نے یہ نہیں بتایا کہ کس فلم یا آن لائن سیریز سے واپسی کررہی ہیں۔

43 سالہ اداکارہ اتنے برسوں میں کافی حد تک میڈیا کی نظروں سے دور رہیں مگر گزشتہ سال وہ اس وقت شہ سرخیوں کا حصہ بنیں جب انہوں نے خود سے 15 سال کم عمر ماڈل سے تعلقات استوار کیے۔

اداکارہ نے اپنی انسٹاگرام پوسٹ میں واضح کیا کہ اس وقت ان کے اور ماڈل کے درمیان رومانوی تعلقات قائم ہیں۔

پوسٹ میں سشمیتا سین نے لکھا کہ انہیں اپنی اور روہمن شال کی شادی سے متعلق خبروں کا پتہ چلا، جن میں کوئی صداقت نہیں۔

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#cherished #memories #thegang 😄❤️ @rohmanshawl @rajeevmasand 🤗🥂❤️I love you guys!!!!😁💃🏻

A post shared by Sushmita Sen (@sushmitasen47) on May 25, 2019 at 8:13am PDT

سشمیتا سین نے واضح کیا کہ وہ فوری طور پر شادی کا ارادہ نہیں رکھتیں، ان کی شادی سے متعلق وائرل ہونے والی خبریں بے بنیاد ہیں۔

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Makeup, hair, lights & that mirror made of antique glass❤️ ROUND TWO…I prep for my return to class!!!😉👊 #sharing #reflections #emotions #backtobasics 👏💃🏻 #duggadugga I love you guys!!!!❤️🤗💃🏻

A post shared by Sushmita Sen (@sushmitasen47) on Jun 8, 2019 at 11:11am PDT

تاہم انہوں نے اپنی پوسٹ میں خود سے 15 سال کم عمر ماڈل سے تعلقات کی تصدیق کی اور کہا کہ وہ ان دنوں روہمن کے ساتھ رومانوی تعلقات میں ہیں۔

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❤️working out together is bliss!!! Even if I have to lend him my track pants to achieve it!!😉👆😄💋And of course it fits!!! An Angel for my Angel @rohmanshawl 😍💋#strength #stability #discipline #us #noexcuses 👊🔥💪 Love is beautiful!!! #duggadugga I love you guys!!!💃🏻😁

A post shared by Sushmita Sen (@sushmitasen47) on May 26, 2019 at 4:21pm PDT

اداکارہ نے اگرچہ ماڈل سے تعلقات کا اعتراف کیا اور فوری شادی کی خبروں کو مسترد کیا، تاہم انہوں نے یہ نہیں بتایا کہ وہ مستقبل میں کب تک شادی کا ارادہ رکھتی ہیں۔

سشمیتا سین نے اگرچہ شادی نہیں کی، تاہم انہوں نے 2 بچوں کو گود لے رکھا ہے، انہوں نے سب سے پہلے 2000

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#cherished #memories #thegang 😄❤️ @rohmanshawl @rajeevmasand 🤗🥂❤️I love you guys!!!!😁💃🏻

A post shared by Sushmita Sen (@sushmitasen47) on May 25, 2019 at 8:13am PDT

میں ایک بچی اور بعد ازاں 2010 میں دوسری بچی کو گود لیا۔

سشمیتا سین نے 1996 میں فلم ’دستک’ سے کیریئر کا آغاز کیا، اب تک وہ 40 کے قریب فلموں میں نظر آ چکی ہیں۔

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What #chemistry 😍😉Magical #15yearsofmainhoonna ❤️😍💃🏻🤗🎵Thank you @farahkhankunder @iamsrk @suniel.shetty @boman_irani @itszayedkhan @amrita_rao_insta & the entire cast & crew for this memorable film & journey!!!🤗❤️💃🏻I love you guys!!! #misschandani 😉😄💋

A post shared by Sushmita Sen (@sushmitasen47) on Apr 30, 2019 at 2:02am PDT

انہوں نے اپنی اداکاری کی بناء پر فلم فیئر، آئیفا، اسٹار اسکرین اور زی سائنے سمیت متعدد ایوارڈ اپنے نام کیے ہیں۔

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Today I feel proud knowing Renée initiated her journey of being a responsible citizen, one who participates in due process of Democracy, celebrating the love of her country & investing in its future!!!👍😍🇮🇳❤️I am blessed to see the excitement of my little Alisah, who can’t wait to have her turn!!!🤗😁👏Way to go girls!!!👊❤️ #wevoted #anewmilestone #proudindian #jaihind ❤️🇮🇳💃🏻I love you guys!!!! #duggadugga

A post shared by Sushmita Sen (@sushmitasen47) on Apr 29, 2019 at 6:32am PDT

سشمیتا سین نے 1994 میں مس انڈیا کا اعزاز اپنے نام کیا تھا، جس کے بعد وہ اسی برس مس یونیورس بھی منتخب ہوئی تھیں۔

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What fun it is to shoot with an old friend!!!😍👊❤️I have missed you @subisamuel as always you’re magic!!😘😁Hair & Makeup by my absolute favourite @danielcbauer and styled by the super talented @henna.akhtar 👍💋 A good team is a blessing!!! #sharing #brandambassador #campaignshoot #gemcity #realestate #awesometeam #superfun #clickclick 😀💃🏻🎵I love you guys!!!!❤️

A post shared by Sushmita Sen (@sushmitasen47) on Mar 5, 2019 at 8:59pm PST

[borisbubbles]

3. MACEDONIA

Jana Burčeska - “Dance Alone” 35th place

GO GO WHOAAAAAAA!!!!

Yes, “Macedonia”. I support the Macedonian side of the argument, are you in tears??? Greece LOST my sympathy vote the second they subjected us to the OBNOXIOUS “Former Yugoslav Republic Of Macedonia” chyron, as if we can’t tell the difference between modern-day Macedonia and ancient Macedon by ourselves *MASSIVE EYEROLL*. Also, their insistence to call the country “FYROM” all the time X____X.

Anyway, this trashfest <3 It well and truly was love at first, second, third and infinite sight and it still is! I never expected Jana to qualify (lol she’s  Macedonian and this year isn’t 2012-levels of mediocre, let’s be honest), but evenso, she’s the ~ONLY~ NQ I’m well and truly sad about. :’(

RIP my fierce seraph :(

Initially, much like JOWST, I was drawn the song and perhaps even more so? Tove Lo-inspired synthpop directly hooked to my veins, YES times ∞. “Dance Alone” isn’t really complex but so, so, SO relistenable. Also, quotable. (I can’t even disentangle my favourite “Dance Alone” quote? All of them are so ~Strong Independent Wymyn~ flavoured). Her voice is the most ovine squeak ever <3

However, I was also immediately drawn to Jana as a human. You see, I’m a pretty avid watcher of reality television and one of my many favourite rtv archetypes is the “Abrasive, sarcastic bitch who deep down isn’t a bad person” (think Sandra Diaz-Twice, Deana Uppal, Gretchen Jones, the Twinnies, Luisa Zissman, Jun Song, etc). Jana IMMEDIATELY showed her true ASB colours by delivering this V I C I O U S stab at Former Basics Fave Rykka in one of her first interviews:

(ps: you should squat)

Epic Goddess deity shade <3 Fortunately, this was only the tip of the iceberg. Much like fellow secret sociopath Salvador, Jana enjoyed taking the mickey at the contest for the heck of it (why did people pretend it was a novel concept, it wasn’t. Don’t y’all remember SILVIA NIGHT??), but unlike Salvador she didn’t do it during the contest, which is much more charming. Instances such as these include:

Pretending she wasn’t able to sing and expressing in her interviews that she’s not a professionally trained singer but an amateur who was approached by the Macedonians as a last minute choice.

Reinforcing that notion by pretending to MIME during the London Fan Event (god the Youtube Meltdowns were glorious)

Delivering SUPER awkward, trolly interviews with Eurovision.tv (and ONLY them. Just the sheer imagination of Viktor & C° fuming in silent rage as Jana purposefully gives weird answers to all of their boring questions spins my world like a merry-go-round.)

Immediately glomming onto JOWST’s “live voices only” rule-change although she technically didn’t need it. <3

and the best of all:

DROPPING A FUCKING PREGNANCY BOMB DURING THE LIVE SHOW. <3 Like, she never mentioned she was preggerz before the semi final, I think? Not even during the many times Eurovision.tv tried to play Question Time with her lol. (are these people super professional or just straight-up mascochists? idk.)

Then there’s The Proposal. I’m inclined to toss it in with the the above moments because Jana’s juuuuust enough of a sociopath troll to stage it and steal the spotlight for shits and giggles (and again, she managed to keep her four month pregnancy a secret), and Aleksandr is enough of a loltard to go along with it, but whatever; It was an epic green room moment (literally the only one ever) and I’m THRILLED for her. Get It Girl <3

a good thing he didn’t think “hmmm i’ll wait until the finale :)”, huh?

All of this pretty much sums up why I really, really fucking love Jana. Sadly, she doesn’t entirely escape this year’s curse of “this is really good buuuut what if???” and even she wasted some potential. Allow me to share my ~thots~ on how  “Dance Alone” should have went:

(1) Jana shouldn’t have been alone on the stage. Yes, “Dance Alone” but taking it literally is never inspired, soz. Also, not with that backdrop and that choreography. It was reminiscent of Morgane’s LameDance,

which *IS* a top 2 moment of 1992 (along with Dafna Dekel’s backing bongoists lolwtf), but seriously, *so* amateur.  No, Jana should have started with her female backing group (best backings ever? possibly) on the stage, who would’ve dispersed to the background during the chorus. The backdrop should have featured silhouettes as if Jana were dancing by herself in a crowded discoteque, to facilitate the illusion of proverbial, not literal solitude.

(2) Add the male dancer from the video clip. (or any hot dancer. take Tijana’s as payment for selling your original song to them (lol that rumor <3)) Specifically, add him somewhere during the second chorus, but let Jana ignore him until the middle eight!! then have them make contact and have Jana look in his eyes while she goes “TAKE ME TO PLACES THAT I’VE NEVER BEEN” as he cradles her in his arms.

(3) Add a plot twist during the final chorus: Sample text while Jana dances with her new boytoy: “I WON’T DANCE ALONE. WHEREVER WE ARE, THE RHYTHM FOLLOWS. WE’RE LOST IN THE SOUND OF NO TOMORROW. I WON’T LET IT GO, WON’T LET IT GO NOW” Simple but efficient.

(4) Keep the original ending. Have the stage fade to black at the end, and ensure the male dancer is swallowed by the darkness. Close with “Wishing you could hold me close. :’(” as planned.

(also perhaps don’t make it appear like she’s wearing a trash bag.)

BOOM a few changes and you have a powerful, evolving performance which soups up the song’s flaws! Easy top five entry (for this ranking lol as if Jana was ever qualifying from that semifinal). Hire me, VRT (or at least pick Bazart/Emma Bale/Nathalia for our next entrant. kthx)

Sadly, while adding that VERY good intro to her song, Jana was on the stage by herself and forgot her closer. (or simply didn’t bother, which is more likely, now that I think of it <3). I still love it but those simple details cheapen “Dance Alone” greatly, so I can’t follow my heart and let her ~win~ this ranking. Whatever, she’s walking away from this experience with a husbear and a behbeh, so it’s clear that if anything, she’s the true winner in ~L*Y*F~ ::throws rose petals::

Decade rank: 28/324

THE 2017 RANKING SO FAR:

-ADORE- 1. 2. 3. Macedonia (28/324) 4. Norway (29/324) 5. Lithuania (43/324) 6. Hungary (47/324) -LOVE- 7. Moldova (55/324) 8. Italy (61/324) 9. the Netherlands (63/324) 10. United Kingdom (67/324) 11. Finland (68/324) 12. Estonia (71/324) 13. Azerbaijan (84/324) 14. Latvia (87/324) 15. Israel (93/324)

-LIKE- 16. Bulgaria (100/324) 17. Portugal (105/324) 18. Croatia (115/324) 19. Austria (119/324) 20. France (138/324) 21. Poland (154/324) 22. Armenia (158/324) 23. Romania (164/324)

-OKAY- 24. Iceland (174/324) 25. Ukraine (190/324) 26. San Marino (203/324) 27. Albania (217/324) 28. Denmark (228/324) 29. Spain (237/324) 30. Cyprus (240/324) -DISLIKE- 31. Germany (258/324) 32. Montenegro (263/324) 33. Sweden (270/324) 34. Serbia (275/324) 35. Australia (280/324) 36. Switzerland (286/324) 37. Czech Republic (288/324) 38. Malta (291/324) -HATE- 39. Georgia (301/324) 40. Greece (303/324) 41. Slovenia (307/324) 42. Ireland (312/324)

[joshuaseggtarteu]

Walking the Path of Destruction (Part 1)

Characters: Junhui/Jun, Minghao/The8, Jeonghan, Soonyoung/Hoshi, Seokmin/DK, Seungkwan 

Genre: Murder Mystery

Warnings: Angst, Character Death, Depression, Starvation

Disclaimer: All scientific facts stated in this fic are NOT true (I am not a med student, I don’t know how this actually works) and everything written in italitics are Junhui’s thoughts

Summary: It was the beginning of a bad day when Junhui woke up much sooner than he wanted to. Little did he know it was going to get much worse, but maybe not for him.

Author’s Notes at the end

It’s 7:00am on a Sunday and Junhui is cursing himself for being awake. This is the one day of the week where he gets to sleep in, and now he can’t because he stupidly forgot to turn off his alarm the night before. Rolling onto his side, he pulls his covers over his head in one last attempt to go back to sleep. “Please, please, please” he begs himself, scrunching his eyes shut as tightly as he can.

After a few minutes of laying still and wishing for sleep to take him again, he’s forced to admit defeat. He pushes himself to a sitting position on the bed, groaning at the effort it takes. “I hate everything.”

He eventually manages to get himself out of bed and into the bathroom to start his daily routine. Watching his reflection in the mirror, he can see how physically tired he’s become. His palish skin pulls tight over his features and there are dark circles around his eyes. He sighs, letting his fingers brush over his mirror self. He hates that this is what his life was now. Waking up every morning with a hollow ache in his chest and no will to go on. But no matter how much he doesn’t want to he knows he has to, for Minghao’s sake.

Dragging his feet across the cold hardwood floor, he makes his way to the kitchen and turns on the countertop TV before heading over to the coffee maker. At this point coffee is the only thing keeping him upright, he had lost the will to eat a while ago. As the coffee maker does its job, he takes a seat in front of the TV that’s set on the new channel. He stares at the screen but fails to actually pay attention to what he’s watching. That is until he notices a familiar face appear.

“I don’t know who’s sending these threats, but I just want them to stop.” The name of the man being interviewed is Kwon Soonyoung. He was a friend of Junhui’s back in college A kind man to everyone who knew him, definitely not a man who should be receiving threats. Seeing his old friend gets Junhui’s full attention and he turns up the volume to get a better listen.

“Mr.Kwon, how long have you been receiving these threating notes?”

“They started a couple weeks ago. When I found the first one in my mailbox I didn’t make much of it. The kids on my street are known to play pranks every now-and-then and I just assumed that they did it. But when the second one was delivered to my office at work, I realized that they couldn’t possibly be behind it. That’s when I decided to call the police.”

“And since the police have gotten involved, you haven’t received another note?”

“No. My guess is that whoever this person is, got scared and decided to back off.”

How could he say something so careless over live television? Junhui thinks to himself. He should have taken into consideration that the person threatening him could be watching this and that his words could piss them off. He’s so stupid.

He turns off the TV and pours himself a cup of coffee. The hot drink burns his throat going down and warms his insides. He takes a seat again at the table letting himself get lost in thought. He may not have looked it, but he’s scared. I could hear it in his voice. He may be able to fool the reporter with those words, but he can’t fool me. He knows fully well that the person didn’t just “back off”, I should call him.

Without a second thought, Junhui grabs his cell phone and searches for Soonyoungs number. It rings a few times before a shaky, slightly confused voice comes on the line. “Hello, Junhui?”

“Hi Soon, I saw you on the news, how are you holding up?

“I.. I’ve definitely been better, but um, I wasn’t expecting to hear from you. Not that I didn’t want too! It’s just um, been awhile.”

“It has been awhile, hasn’t it? Anyhow, I was wondering if you’d like to meet up, grab a cup of coffee maybe? It’ll be good for you to take your mind off everything going on for a bit.”

The line is silent while Soonyoung considers Junhui’s sudden proposal. “Sure, coffee sounds good. Where and when?”

“Mmm, 12:30 at the Garden Café, I’ll text you the address.”

“Perfect, I’ll see you then.” With that, he cuts the call leaving Junhui alone again with his thoughts. He looks at the clock, it’s only 8:30.

“I only have 4 hours to prepare, I’d better get started.”

He heads back to his room to pick out clothes before hopping into the shower. He turns the water on hot and stands still letting it hit his back as the steam envelops him. He never used to take hot showers, but these days he felt that the hot water against his skin is the only thing that can bring feeling back to his numb body, even if just for that short period of time.

Finishing his shower, Junhui gets dressed and drops down on his bed checking his phone. He opens his text to find a message from his best friend, Jeonghan. A message he’d been expecting to see since Soonyoung’s interview aired.

(Hannie 9:13am) Did you see Soon’s interview? I don’t know who’s he trying to fool with that cocky attitude. The word ‘scared’ might as well have been written on his forehead.

(Junnie 9:16am) Maybe it’s his coping mechanisms. I’m meeting him for coffee at 12:30.

(Hannie 9:16am) You are? Are you sure you’re going to be okay with that Junnie?

(Junnie 9:17) This isn’t about me, Jeonghan. He needs a friend and I’m just reaching out, coffee was my idea anyways.

(Hannie 9:18) *Sighs* Alright, just.. try and keep yourself in check I guess. I personally don’t want you being around him after what happened.. but, it’s your choice.

(Junnie 9:18) ❤ I’ll be fine Hannie I promise.

(Hannie 9:18) I’m sure you will be. By the way, are you still stopping by the lab? I want to show you the progress I’ve made on this new drug.

(Junnie 9:19) I’m leaving my house right now, I’ll be there in 20.

*Message read*

Junhui grabs his keys off the kitchen counter and leaves his house. As he drives, his favourite CD blasts through the car speakers. It’s the first mix CD Minghao ever made and he had given it to Junhui for his birthday three years ago. He remembers how happy Minghao was when Junhui praised his talents and taste in music. He lets the memories of that day fill his mind bringing a small smile to his face.  

But the more Junhui thinks about it, the deeper the realization sinks in that that was probably one of the last times he saw Minghao truly happy. How could things have gone so wrong? he wonders as he pulls into the parking lot of his old college.

Wiping away the tears threating to fall from his eyes he walks to the back entrance of the school where the science labs are located. Upon entrance, he finds Jeonghan hunched over a microscope at the far end of the room. No need to bother him just yet.

He walks around the lab while he waits, looking over the new drugs that have been developed by the other scientists. Jeonghan’s team focuses on pharmaceutical drugs and is in the process of developing an arthritis tablet that not only reduces pain but also stops the spreading of arthritis through the body. His team is just one of the five working at the college. Each team has a different project ranging from household drugs to military defense weapons.

Usually, such a dangerous project wouldn’t be conducted in a college lab, but since the Dean is an ex-sergeant, exceptions were made. Jun approaches the shelves in the back of the lab where the low-risk weapons are kept; low-risk as in the chances of them blowing up the school are slim to none. He lets him fingers skim the shelf as he walks, mindlessly observing the bottles.

“Hey, Junnie.” The voice causes him to spin on the spot, bringing him face-to-face with Jeonghan.

“Hannie, you’re finished! I didn’t want to bother you while you were working, so I decided to just walk around while I waited.”

“That’s okay, I hope I didn’t make you wait too long.”

“Not at all. So, where’s your new drug?”

Jeonghan leads Junhui to the station he was working at and picks up a small vial of transparent liquid. “this is what’s going into the pill capsules, but that means nothing to you so I’m not going to bother trying to explain it to you.” Junhui nods, agreeing with his friend. “This, on the other hand, you can understand.” He points to a board beside him that has multiple x-ray images of a hand.

“We’ve been monitoring this patient for about four months now. Based on his health, age and arthritis progression, he would have been in stage three of his rheumatoid arthritis if he was using any other treatment. But since he started our treatment, it hasn’t passed stage two. It’s unclear whether it has stopped spreading or just slowed down, but still, it’s working! And he’s not the only subject that we’ve made progress with, two others as well.”

“That’s great Hannie! Whether you’re able to stop the spreading of arthritis or not, this new drug is going to help so many people and that’s what’s most important.”

Jeonghan beams at his friend: “Thanks, Junnie. I really hope you’re right.”

“Oh, I am” he replies with a light chuckle.

The two men spend the next hour discussing work and sharing jokes. “I’m really happy you decided to come by today,” Jeonghan says, holding his side as he recovers from a laughing fit. “I feel like we never see each other anymore.”

“Well, we do both work full time.”

“I know, but still. I’m going to make sure we meet up more often Junnie. I’ve been worried about you, but seeing you here today laughing and smiling has given me reassurance that you’re okay.”

“I am, Hannie. You don’t need to worry about me,” he looks down at his watch: “it’s almost 12:00, I should go now.”

They walk out of the lab together and into the parking lot. Junhui gets in his car and rolls down the window to say goodbye to his friend. “Promise me we’ll go for lunch next week.”

“Okay, I promise. See you later.” With that, he waves farewell one last time and drives away from the campus.”

I hate having to lie to him, but I don’t want him to worry about me. He has enough on his plate as it is. If faking a smile and forcing out some laughs is what it takes to convince him that I’m okay then so be it. I can handle this on my own, I’ve been handling it on my own.

The drive from the lab to the Café is long and tiresome.  It is exactly 12:30 when Junhui arrives, Soonyoung is already there waiting for him. After parking his car, he approaches the man sitting down at one of the outside tables, “you always were the punctual one weren’t you.”

He shrugs at the comment and gestures for Junhui to sit down, which he does. They sit quietly for some time, each waiting for the other to break the silence. It’s Soonyoung who finally does.

“So, you come to this Café a lot huh?” he asks shyly.

“Yeah, Minghao’s the one who told me about it. He used to come here with his friends, and one day he insisted on me joining them. He said saying that once I tried the Frappuccino here I’d never want to go anywhere else, and he was right.” He laughs at the memory, failing to notice the shocked expression on Soonyoung’s face at the mention of the boy.

“Jun, why did you ask me to meet you?” His words come out slow and carefully as if he’s scared of upsetting the other.

“You’ve been going through a tough time and I thought you could use a friend, and a break from worrying and stuff.”

He nods and stares at the menu in front of him, thinking hard. A waiter comes by to take their orders. Soonyoung orders an Americano and slice of strawberry cream cake, and Junhui orders his usual Frappuccino. Once that waiter leaves Soonyoung speaks again.

“I appreciate you looking out for me, especially since I don’t deserve your kindness.” Junhui’s about to interject, but the other holds up a hand to stop him. “I never thought the day would come where I could sit down and talk to you so just listen for now, please. I didn’t think you would ever be able to forgive me for what happened to Minghao, and-”

“It’s all water under the bridge, Soon. You told me that you weren’t in control of the situation and when it happened you were helpless, and I told you I believed you. You don’t need to worry about it anymore.”

Soonyoung’s whole face light’s up at Junhui’s words, causing both his mouth and eyes to turn up in smiles. “You are the kindest most big-hearted man I know, thank you.”

The waiter returns with their order just as Soonyoung’s phone rings. “I’m sorry, it’s my work calling.”

“It’s alright, you can take it.”

Junhui watches him leave the table and walk into the Café shop. He sips his coffee as he waits and absentmindedly plays with the fork on the table in front of him. He seems more scared of me than he is of his threat notes. He really has no reason to feel that way though, I’ve told him what he wanted to hear.

Too caught up in his thoughts Junhui accidentally sends the fork spinning across the table to Soonyoung’s side. No longer feeling the metal between his fingers breaks him from his trance. “Oh,” he says when he sees the fork beside the other’s drink. He fixes the cuffs of his shirt so they’re not in the way and reaches across the table to retrieve the utensil.

Once he’s seated again he sees the other man returning to the table. “they’re swamped and need more people,” he says with a huff.

“That’s okay, at least finish eating before you leave. Wouldn’t want to waste good food.”

“You’re right about that,” he replies taking his seat again.

They both finish their orders in a comfortable silence. “This was really nice, and exactly what I needed, thanks again Jun.”

“It’s no problem, I’m glad I could help ease your mind a bit.”

He smiles at Junhui. “Alright, I’ve got to take off now. See you around?”

“Sure.”

Once he’s gone Junhui takes his phone out to message Jeonghan.

(Junnie 1:47pm) Our meeting went well, he just left.

(Hannie 1:47pm) That’s good to hear, I’m glad you were able to make peace.

(Junnie 1:48pm) Yeah, it’s better this way.

(Hannie 1:48pm) You’re probably right. What do you have planned for the rest of the day?

(Junnie 1:48pm) I have to go to the grocery store. Out of milk, and food.

(Hannie 1:49pm) Out of, or never had to begin with? (Hannie 1:49pm) Actually, don’t answer that, I’m going to end up lecturing you if you do, and I don’t have that kind of time right now. Have fun shopping! 😊

He reads the messages and then get’s up from the table. “If I want to beat the afternoon traffic I’ll have to leave now.”

***

It’s 3:00 when Junhui finally reaches home. He kicks off his shoes and sets his grocery bags on the counter before collapsing on the sofa in his living room. Uggh. Why am I so tired? Yes, it had been an eventful day; visiting Jeonghan, coffee with Soonyoung and then grocery shopping for the next week, but it’s only three in the afternoon. He shouldn’t be this tired.

Never the less, he turns on the TV and stretches out on the couch, deciding to watch the screen until sleep takes him over. That doesn’t take long to happen though, and just minutes after he gets comfortable his eyelids start to feel heavy and he allows himself to drift into a deep slumber.

As he sleeps, the sound of the TV continues to fill the room. Left on the news channel, a reporter stands in the front view of the screen and the words ‘BREAKING NEWS’ are written in bold letters across the bottom. Behind the reporter is a car crash, two cars now smashed together. The front car is turned sideways and the and back car seems to have driven into the driver’s side of the front car. The reporter speaks: “the driver of the first car; Kwon Soonyoung has just been pronounced dead by the paramedics on site. No details have been given yet as to how this accident took place, but in regard to Soonyoung’s death, the impact of the other car is what the officers believe took his life, investigators are still looking into the details of the accident.”

The reporter continues to provide constant updates on the accident and Junhui continues to sleep. Unaware of the event that has just taken place and that the man he saw just hours ago was now dead. But he would come to know soon enough.

AN: I know you’re probably confused about what’s going on, and what the revelance of half of the stuff in here is. It is all relevant and I promise you it will all make sense in the next part where things get a whole lot more screwed up. (it’s fun messing with your heads and filling them with a bunch of questions haha)

Also, I know this part was kind of dry but it’s the set up for what comes later on so it had to be like this. Hope you’re enjoying it! :) Part 2 will be up soon! Anyone have any thoughts on Soonyoung’s death? 

[suzannebyrne]

John Mayer and Andy Cohen Are Hotel Bathrobe Kinda Close

John Mayer and Andy Cohen’s bromance is real. (Photo: Charles Sykes/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)

John Mayer and Andy Cohen’s bromance continues — in soft cotton.

The Watch What Happens Live host, 48, shared a candid photo of the still hopelessly devoted to Katy Perry singer, 39, lounging in a hotel bathrobe while they had breakfast together on a balcony. Cohen, who only flashed a bare foot for the photo, wrote that he has “the best, weirdest travel karma with @johnmayer where we always wind up in the same city, which means lots of food and a river of words.” He added that Mayer was off again, on the road for his Search for Everything tour, and he “can’t wait to see it.”

I have the best, weirdest travel karma with @johnmayer where we always wind up in the same city, which means lots of food and a river of words. He split again, for the #SearchForEverything tour. Can't wait to see it.

A post shared by Andy Cohen (@bravoandy) on Mar 29, 2017 at 9:15am PDT

This is yet another reminder of the strong bond between the pair. Mayer, who has appeared on Cohen’s Bravo show many times, has been buddying around with Cohen since at least 2012.

We first really took notice, however, when Cohen visited Mayer in Montana in 2014. He even wore flannel and looked rustic, dubbing himself “#MontanaAndy.”

Montana Morning @johnmayer

A post shared by Andy Cohen (@bravoandy) on Mar 30, 2014 at 11:07am PDT

A year later, the odd couple (Cohen is gay; Mayer a notorious ladies man) took their love of the Grateful Dead to the next level by going on a road trip together — in Mayer’s EarthRoamer off-road camping truck — to catch five shows from the band’s final tour. (Mayer eventually went on to tour with Dead and Company.)

Rainbow over the #GratefulDead !!! It's Jerry!! @johnmayer #HappyPride

A post shared by Andy Cohen (@bravoandy) on Jun 27, 2015 at 8:50pm PDT

Cohen also wrote an article about their bromance for Entertainment Weekly, detailing how John accompanied him to gay bars (it was gay pride in San Francisco) and was the “ultimate wingman.” He admitted from the outside it is an “unlikely friendship.”

In 2014’s The Andy Cohen Diaries, he mentioned Mayer no fewer than 14 times in his best-selling book, a fact called out by the New York Times in an article called “The Rise of the ‘Bromosexual’ Friendship.” And in his follow-up tome, Superficial: More Adventures From the Andy Cohen Diaries, Cohen told a story about them being out at Sunset Tower in L.A. when Mayer’s ex Jennifer Aniston was at “the only other table in the restaurant.” Cohen suggested they go say hello, but Mayer reminded his buddy that he hadn’t seen Aniston since they broke up and “the Queen of Smartwater would not be having it.”

Mayer recently opened up about his personal life in a New York Times interview, saying, “I’m right on time for my career, and I’m running late for my life.” Mayer, who also dated Perry and Jessica Simpson, went on to say that as he approaches his milestone 40th birthday, “I wish there was somebody to throw me the 40th [party].”

Maybe he doesn’t have a special lady in his life to do it, but does have good friends like Andy Cohen who won’t let him down.

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