#i can’t text her because i am banned from talking to her. But i want tooooo
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
logos0 · 1 day ago
Text
Through the Storm
You had always hated storms. Not the ones outside—the crashing thunder and relentless rain were oddly comforting—but the ones that raged inside your mind. They brewed at inconvenient times, bringing doubt, anxiety, and an unbearable weight you could never fully describe. Being with Leah had always been your calm in the chaos, but lately, even she felt like a ship lost in the swell.
The rift started small—a disagreement over her schedule, a misunderstanding about a missed call. Leah was always busy. Between her training sessions and commitments to the England squad, it sometimes felt like you were just another appointment she pencilled in. You tried not to let it bother you, and at first it worked, but as time passed, you could not push down your frustration. Your feelings no longer simmered under the surface but started bubbling over at the worst moments.
It all came to a head one night after her return from an away game. You hadn’t seen her in weeks, nor had you been able to call her, and while you wanted to savour her presence, the frustration you’d been holding in came spilling out instead.
"You’re never here, Leah," you said, your voice trembling with both anger and sadness. "I get that football’s your life, but am I even part of it anymore?"
She stood in the doorway, her duffel bag slung over her shoulder, exhaustion painted across her face. "Of course, you are," she replied, her tone sharp with defensiveness. "You think I don’t miss you when I’m gone? You think this is easy for me?"
"Well, it doesn’t feel like it," you shot back, tears welling in your eyes. "You come home, and it’s like… I’m just a stopover before the next big thing. Like I’m not enough."
Leah dropped her bag and stepped closer, but you turned away, wiping your eyes furiously. "Don’t say that," she whispered, her voice cracking. "You’re everything to me."
"Then why doesn’t it feel like it?"
The silence that followed was deafening. Leah stood frozen, her eyes searching yours for something she couldn’t find. Those eyes which had pulled you into a ban so long ago and now were tormenting you. "I don’t know how to fix this," she admitted, her voice barely audible.
And just like that, the storm between you grew too wild to tame. Leah left that night, leaving you alone with your thoughts and the sound of rain pounding against the window.
The days that followed were agonizing. Leah texted you sporadically, but the messages felt hollow, as though she was trying to bridge a gap that words alone couldn’t mend. You left most of them unanswered, unsure of what to say—or if you even wanted to.
Until one night, a week later, when your phone buzzed with a message that was different from the rest.
Leah: I’m outside. Please, just… let me talk.
You hesitated, your heart battling between wanting to see her and wanting to stay angry. But the thought of her standing outside in the cold, waiting for you, tugged at your resolve. With a sigh, you grabbed a coat and opened the door.
Leah was there, drenched from the rain, her usually confident demeanour replaced with a vulnerability that caught you off guard. That reminded you of times long past. She looked at you with those piercing eyes, and for a moment, neither of you spoke.
"I know I’ve hurt you," she began, her voice steady but soft. "And I’ve spent the past week trying to figure out how to make it right. But the truth is, I don’t have all the answers. All I know is that I can’t lose you."
You swallowed hard, the lump in your throat growing with each word. "Leah… I just feel so invisible sometimes. Like you’re here, but not really here. As if I am just another appointment, a chore."
She nodded, stepping closer. "I know. And you’re right—I haven’t been fair to you. I’ve let football take over everything, and I thought… I thought you’d be okay with that because you’re so strong. But I didn’t realize how much I was taking you for granted."
Her words hit you like a wave, and before you could stop yourself, you were crying. Leah reached for you, hesitating for a split second before pulling you into her arms. You let yourself melt into her, the warmth of her embrace cutting through the chill of the rain.
"I’m sorry," she whispered into your hair. "For everything. I don’t want you to feel like you’re not enough, because you are. You’re more than enough. You’re my everything."
You pulled back just enough to look at her, her face inches from yours. "I don’t need you to have all the answers," you said quietly. "I just need to know that you’re willing to try."
Leah nodded, her expression serious. "I’ll try every day for the rest of my life, if that’s what it takes."
Her lips brushed against yours, soft and hesitant, as if she were asking for permission to fix what had been broken. You kissed her back, the storm inside you finally beginning to settle.
The rain continued to fall, but for the first time in weeks, you felt like you could breathe again. Leah was here, and so were you—together, ready to weather whatever came next.
131 notes · View notes
pilgrimattinkercreek1974 · 6 months ago
Text
Objectively the simon episode of hifi is about how he needed to move on from ben and that giving that relationship a million second chances was always doomed to fail. but every time i watch it im like Omg it’s just like me and E omg i should text her and i miss her so much. <- Idiot Alert🚨 !
2 notes · View notes
crguang · 5 months ago
Note
sfw headcanons about what it would be like to live with acheron? :3
ACHERON MY BABY.
living with her would be actual bliss, she’d want to keep the bad stuff as far away from you as possible and would protect this little haven you’ve made for yourselves with her life. her strength is destructive but you can only see it as comforting, it reassures you when you’re worried or scared because you know she’ll only ever use it to protect you.
acheron is used to the quiet, she might be too comfortable with it, so she can spend a long time without speaking. she’ll hum and nod along with your mundane chatting. she can also be a yapper too sometimes, even though her voice is always low and soft; she’ll talk your ear off when it comes to philosophical conversations it’s so endearing. her insight is always relevant.
an act of service girlie to me HANDS DOWN. she does little things for you around the house (definitely one of those women who’ll build a porch if you so much as mention that you want one), you barely register them anymore because of how deeply embedded in your routine they are. if you’re smaller, she’ll breeze past you in the morning and reach for the coffee over the fridge before you lift a finger. she sleeps very little and wakes up before you, so she opens the curtains in the bedroom because she knows you like the morning light. it’s a wonder how she remembers so much of the small stuff. you ask her about it once and she says it’s like muscle memory.
your home is somewhat colorful, to make up for the ones she lacks. it’s in mirror frames and figurines, in pictures pinned to the walls and fridge magnets. it makes her feel like she’s part of this vibrant world you live in and adds to that warm sensation she can still sense despite being almost entirely tainted by nihility.
acheron can be a clingy baby, i think. she’ll wrap her arms around your waist as you stand over the stove, her forehead resting against the back of your neck. she comes home and immediately looks for you cause she wants a hug. she’s soo touchy, but when youre home it’s not just a hand on your back or her fingertips grazing your thigh, she’ll wrap herself around you whenever she can. holding you, having you so close, it feels like your warmth seeps into her and she becomes less “emanator of nihility” and more “acheron”, whatever that means.
lost puppy. she knows the way home, of course, but you get text messages that are variations of “where was that again?” “i don’t know where i am” “which aisle? oh. im in the wrong store” SO OFTEN. she’s the embodiment of oblivion and she manages to be this precious, i’ll never understand it
don’t let her near the stove. she can barely taste anything just trust me and ban her from the kitchen, it’s for your own safety
living with you is so… normal. it’s something she can’t remember ever experiencing and it feels almost eerie at times, but she wouldn’t trade it for the world. she holds the world on her shoulders and you’re the only one who can make it feel light.
228 notes · View notes
starkwlkr · 2 years ago
Note
hi babe!! love your dad!Charles ideass!! ABSOLUTELY MY EVERYDAY READ!! anyway if you don’t mind, can you make where ruby is jealous of her little sister/brother because her parents give too much attention to him/her and she thinks they forget her.
why not me? | charles leclerc
am i using a mitski lyric as the title? yes. i also got another request similar except uncle pierre makes an appearance
request: Hi! You should do a baby Leclerc one shot where she tells Pierre she’s going to live w him since they had the baby and she thinks they’ve forgotten her
Mathéo was crying too much, that’s what Ruby thought. She didn’t really understood why he even cried. Y/n always fed him, changed his diaper and even called him sweet names to comfort him. Years ago, Ruby was in Mathéo’s position, but now she was older and she didn’t like being pushed to the side.
Ruby was in her playroom. She was coloring in her Barbie book when she heard Mathéo cry. Charles was away for another race so it was just Y/n with her children in their home. Ruby ignored the crying baby since Y/n was taking care of him and continued coloring in. Once she was done, she put down her crayon and walked into Mathéo’s nursery where she found her mother attempting to calm the baby down. Y/n looked stressed, she probably slept about three hours since Mathéo didn’t want to sleep so he cried all night long.
“Mama, look! You’re not looking! I colored Barbie! I want to show grand-mére, can you take a picture and send it to her?” Ruby showed her work proudly.
“Give me a second, Ruby, your brother needs me right now.” Y/n adjusted the baby in her arms.
Ruby watched as her mother held the baby close to her. She felt jealous, she’ll admit that. They went four years with Ruby as their only child and suddenly Mathéo came. Now she had to share everything, especially the love and attention from her parents, uncles, aunts and most importantly, her grand-mére.
“Can you take a picture now?”
“Ruby, I can’t, I’m taking care of your brother.” Y/n sighed as Mathéo continued crying.
“But you always take care of him!”
Ruby ran out of the room nearly in tears. She decided that her parents didn’t need her, not since the new baby arrived. She ran to the living room and saw her mother’s phone on the kitchen counter. She knew she was still on a phone ban but she picked it up and unlocked it. She clicked on the messages icon and saw pierre’s name. She opened up the messages and typed out one of her own.
Y/n
uncle peair can i c ome live wiht you ?
She hit send and waited for a response. Luckily for her, pierre wasn’t busy.
Pierre
what’s wrong, my little ruby?
Y/n
mama do es not love m e
Pierre
Of course she does.
Y/n
No
I want to live wiht u and ki ka
Ruby didn’t get a response back from Pierre. She immediately thought that Pierre was already on his way to pick her up. What she didn’t know was that Pierre has shown the messages to Charles.
Suddenly Y/n’s phone started ringing with Charles’ contact name appearing on the screen. Ruby took the phone to her mother and then ran back to her room.
“Hey, you okay?” Y/n said when she answered the call. She put the call on speaker since she was about to change Mathéo’s diaper.
“I’m okay. But Pierre just received some messages from Ruby. They came from your phone.” Charles explained so Y/n checked her texts and saw what Ruby had typed to the Frenchman.
“Oh, Ruby.” Y/n sighed. “She was trying to show me her coloring book and Mathéo was crying. I’ll talk to her.”
“Give her kisses for me, I’ll be home soon. Let me know how it goes.” Charles said then Y/n hung up.
After changing Mathéo, Y/n carried him to Ruby’s room where she was all snuggled up with blankets in her bed watching ‘Cars’ on her iPad.
“Ruby, papa told me that you sent uncle pierre some messages. You want to live with uncle pierre and kika?” Y/n entered the room and sat on her daughter’s bed.
“Yes and he’s already on his way.” She said confidently.
“Well uncle pierre lives in Italy and papa and i would miss you so much.” Y/n said.
“No you wouldn’t! You have the baby.” Ruby replied.
“Ruby, papa and i love you and the baby so much. You’re my special little girl and Mathéo is my special little boy. You were the one who made me a mama. You know before you were born, I thought I was never going to be able to have children and then you came. That’s why you’re my special little girl, Ruby Jules.”
“Am I papa’s special girl too?” She asked curiously.
“You’ve always been, baby. He was so excited to meet you. He cried so many times but don’t tell him I told you.” Y/n chuckled when she saw Ruby laugh at the thought of her papa crying.
“So you still love me?”
“Ruby Jules, we never stopped loving you.”
2K notes · View notes
goldeneyedgirl · 2 years ago
Text
Year of the OTP - January Prompt (Kiss): Never Again
Am I late? Yes, but I have a brand to maintain. Just a little human Alice/vampire Jasper twilight ficlet because it's been a hot minute since I posted more than snippets.
PG, nothing outside what the books showed us.
never again.
It’s over before it begins. 
But she knew that before she started. When she lay awake in bed this morning, before her alarm went off, the knowledge is simply there in her head. That this is the last time she’s going to see her bedroom. No more paper flowers, no more shoes stacked on the old ladder she painted purple, no more bed with too many pillows. 
And the last time she’ll hear her parents argue; she can already hear her father ranting at her mother, and it’s not even nine. There hasn’t been enough morning for her mom to piss him off. 
Maybe she realises this is the last time she’ll see her mom, as her mother lectures her about leaving her stuff around, about a million things that all add up to her not being good enough at being a daughter. She eats and agrees and puts her plate in the dishwasher and leaves her mother to her bad mood. 
Cynthia is still asleep, and she’ll leave her little sister dreaming. Maybe it’s cowardice, maybe it’s a way to convince herself she’ll come home again and she’s just being weird. Maybe she’s just going to have another grand mal seizure and this is the impending doom feeling that the doctors talk about. 
Except she’s not feeling much doom. Just certainty she’s never coming home again. 
Jasper picks her up just after ten, and she steps into her boots. Her and Cynthia bought them together in Biloxi before they moved; hers are purple and Cynthia’s are yellow, and she painted flowers on both of them. And when she puts  on hers, she leaves Cynthia’s sitting there alone; a long splash of colour amongst the brown and black shoes of their parents and suddenly feels inexplicably guilty. 
But she still leaves and she doesn’t look back. 
Jasper is… Jasper is kind of someone she knew before she ever met him. It’s weird. She knows how to make him smile and laugh, and she doesn’t even know how. He’s kind of like gravity - she can’t stop herself from getting closer. 
(He never did tell her what he and his family were. Are. It was safer, better, if she didn’t know, he had admitted. Just that they were different and very, very dangerous. She had grinned at him, and told him “not for me” with a certainty she felt. Yes, she knew it as confidently as she knew that grass was green and water was wet. Jasper and his family were no danger to her.)
She feels like the best version of herself with him, she feels like everything is so much easier with him. 
And it feels stupid (her mother tells her that she’s being ridiculous, endlessly talking about some boy she hasn’t even known for a semester. That she’ll get into trouble, and Alice wants to retort that Jasper has only held her hand after he asked permission, and hasn’t even kissed her yet but she also doesn’t really want her parents to know that much about Jasper. That she wants him to be hers, something kept special and secret, and not ruined by the stupid, petty shit.)
It’s been months since she met Jasper, and it’s taken so, so long to break down all his walls. To get answers that were longer than a single sentence, a perfunctory reply. To get him to ask questions back and to tease her, to grin at her, and even take her hand. 
To text her back, and call her after curfew, talking about everything and nothing until she falls asleep with the phone pressed to her cheek. 
Jasper is everything, and if the last person she’s with before it’s all over, she likes that ending.
It’s a good day, a daisy chain of simple things that is just them together. She gets a doughnut and a slushie (both of them cherry), and he grins at her as she enjoys her treat and tries to explain her mother’s obsession with staying thin and banning dyes and sugar and processed food and basically anything that anyone actually wants to eat. 
(Jasper frowns at that, his eyes darting to her skinny legs in her leggings, and she pretends she doesn’t notice because yeah, she’s too thin. Like mother, like daughter: Cynthia got their mom’s blonde hair and brown eyes, and Alice inherited her eating disorder. Today’s a good day, though.)
He drives her out of Forks and they go to a little beach along the highway, one that is more gravel than sand; the water is still and grey like a mirror. Then he invites her back to the Cullen place, to that gorgeous house full of light and art. She meets all of Jasper’s family - properly; because she knows his siblings casually from school, but she’s never spoken to them before. Carlisle and Esme (who smile at her and welcome her, before they both vanish deeper into the house), Rosalie and Emmett (Rose is cold to her, so precisely polite that Alice has no doubt where she stands in Rosalie’s view. Emmett smiles and winks at her, but doesn’t break rank with Rosalie), and then Bella and Edward, seated together at the piano - a much warmer welcome, even if Bella is half-hidden behind her hair, and Edward continues to play. 
It’s a fun home, and an interesting home. Lots of art and ornaments; there’s something fun about their graduation cap wall, and she tries to count them all  before Jasper tugs her along to see the rest of the house.
She’s standing on his desk chair inspecting Jasper’s bookshelves - so many in Spanish and she’s impressed by that because she was always hopeless at Spanish in school. And he’s got so many books, but he’s laughing at her because Carlisle’s study is ‘worse’, apparently. 
When Emmett knocks and sticks his head around the door, she doesn’t think twice about accepting his invitation to the baseball game. It sounds fun. 
It’s been a good day, it’s been easy to forget that the end of it is already decided. So she pushes that aside, and claps her hands when Jasper agrees, jumping off the chair right as he reaches to help her down. 
A good day. 
The baseball game is thrilling and it makes her laugh. They’re so fast, and everything happens before she has a moment to compute it. They just fly around like it's nothing and she cannot imagine how fun, how good it must feel to be able to move like that. 
It’s easy to forget everything, and then the Cullens freeze. For a moment, she’s confused, wondering if she’s having a seizure or something, because they are so still. No one moves. It’s like the has world frozen and she was the only one left. 
She can barely see the people at the edge of the forest, but they felt familiar in a way she couldn’t explain. Red hair, blond hair, black dreads. Dirty clothes and bare feet. 
She’s never going home again, she remembers. She knew that this morning. She doesn’t know why she remembers that all of a sudden. 
Jasper is beside her in a second, his hoodie around her in a second. She doesn’t understand why but she wraps herself in it. She feels kind of sick and twitchy, but when Jasper pushes her over to Esme, she goes calmly. 
“It’ll be okay.” The words are so quiet, she can barely believe anyone has spoken. But Esme looks at her with sad, worried eyes and she smiles feebly.
The certainty is back, and Edward shoots her a sudden sharp look, but he’s too focused on the newcomers, and she’s overwhelmed by the way the men are crowded to the front; Bella and Rose are on her other side and she feels like telling them it’s all okay. She knew this would happen when she woke up this morning. 
She still came. 
(The conversation around her feels muffled and like it’s in another language. The redheaded woman prowls around, and she feels very young, very childish in the face of her. The guy with the dreads seems half-bored, half-confused. It’s the one with the ponytail that has his eyes on her, wide and dark; the kind of grin that make girls hold their keys tighter and walk a faster in the dark.) 
She doesn’t know what triggers it, not at all. Maybe it’s because she’s disassociating and wondering why she didn’t bring water and a snack. She’s really hungry all of a sudden.
And then the man lunges and there’s yelling, and it’s like… she’s stuck in place and everyone is moving around her, that she is the centre of gravity, pulling everyone closer. 
Esme pushes her out of the grasp of the red-haired woman and she stumbles, and there’s more yelling, and this awful grating noise and everything is just a blur of colour and motion and dirt flying up around her. 
And then she is in somebody’s grip, somebody grabbing and pulling and the look of horror on Edward’s face lets her know whomever is behind her isn’t one of the Cullens. 
(The snap of her collarbone is sharp and her vision sparks white, her shoulder popping out is red and fuzzy. If her own scream joins the cacophony, she doesn’t hear it.)
She stumbles and is torn back upright and then there is a blur of pain and wet and the sour smell of rot and the uncomfortable proximity of the male and… 
And…
(She hopes when Cynthia outgrows those boots, she keeps them. And she buys another pair - pink or bright blue or orange. That she paints flowers on her shoes and hangs dolls and daisies and butterflies from her window, and ignores their mom when she falls in love. She hopes she has a big, beautiful life.)
She can smell smoke and it sticks to her, oddly floral and sickly. Her neck burns and she’s so goddamn cold and she can’t seem to move at all because she’s just so tired. 
She never realised that blood smelt like that, but she’s never been around so much of it before. There’s something fascinating that all she is and was and was meant to be is just… going. 
“Alice? Alice?”
Jasper is there and his hands feel so warm on her face and she tries to open her eyes, tries to focus, tries to smile but everything feels soupy. 
“No, no, no.”
His mouth is soft as he presses it against her lips, and maybe it happens quickly or maybe it lasts forever and ever but he comes sharply back into focus for a moment, all dark eyes and golden hair and he really was … hers. Her person. 
“Don’t you dare, Jasper!” The yelling sounds very, very far away and Jasper’s going all fuzzy again.
That was her very first kiss. Her first and last. She’s glad she had one. She’s glad because it was perfect and it with him, and she’s pleased that he offered it. She didn’t want to go without a kiss. 
Her neck feels so hot, it’s almost too much. 
“It’s too late.”
She’s never, ever going home again. 
27 notes · View notes
deathbirby · 9 months ago
Note
I think you should be cancelled and harassed for that bald rhea post period tbh.
Ok jokes aside- man these people really do suck, huh. I can’t tell you the number of times over the years I’ve made posts about not liking Edelgard/analyzing the text in ways her fans don’t like/etc and got swarmed by her stans arguing in bad faith at best and telling me to kms or threatening me at worst. Over video game discourse.
Meanwhile all I’ve seen you do is personally complain on your own blog about takes you see that you disagree with? And when you bring people up it’s always because they were doing some wack shit like sharing screenshots with uncensored usernames or block evading? Again I just don’t know what reality these people live in but it’s so fucking annoying and the reason why I stay on anon lol.
(Rant time) There’s just no winning with these folks seeing as they’re pretty much just bullies at this point deflecting their own (or at least people in their circle’s) behavior back on the people just trying to talk about the game and mind their own damn business. It’s really not that hard to see a take you disagree with and just block and move on, it’s so easy and I do it all the time. It’s hard to want to genuinely interact with ANYONE pro-cf/Edelgard/etc when I’ve been burned so many times by people jumping to call me vile things because I dared share a reading of the text different than the ones they personally project onto the game. Even just saying “I like Rhea and don’t think she’s nearly as bad as people make her out to be” is some sort of cause for freaking the fuck out and harassing people which just. *Head in hands* UGH. Anyway rant over. I know you just laugh at them at this point (and good on you for that) but I’m still so sorry you have to deal with these ppl, truly could not be me.
~⭐️
My notifications only showed the "I think you should be harassed for..." and I had my hazmat suit ready.
Bald Rhea is beautiful wdym?
Jesus christ. You were told to kill yourself?? And getting threats? Dude I am so sorry you had to go through that. I said it before but don't worry about sending asks if this is the only way you can get it out of your system.
At best I've clowned on people who reblogged my posts to start shit. Or someone who tried to start shit with a mutual and I was out of fucks to give at that point. But they don't specify who and what we're talking about, so I'm left guessing.
I believe a certain person had previously stated that tumblr is public and that they have the right to correct any misunderstanding and set things straight or whatever. Which is fucking pathetic. I have come across people who fucking gutted canon and I just blocked them. Like you said, it is not that hard.
Then again, they also said that any attack on Edelgard is a personal attack (unironically), so there really is no winning. Nothing you say will change anything because they will keep seeing it as an attack on their character.
Thanks anon. It's kinda tiring at this point. I want to have an honest discussion with people, but I was banned from the edelgard server, and now people are deleting their accounts (lol why) instead of talking to me directly.
Still funny tho when they get mad and call me toxic or sexist or whatever because I respond with shitposts to their serious "debates."
5 notes · View notes
sirjuggles · 2 years ago
Text
Worm Reading - Arc 8 Extermination
I finally gave in and simplified my naming convention.
So pretty much this whole Arc is the Leviathan fight, which is absolutely riveting, but in theory I’ll have less commentary here. (Hah we’ll see) I wrote up some of my thoughts in response to an ask about Leviathan a day or two ago, so some of that will get repeated here.
My first time ever hearing about Worm was years ago through an entry on the TVTropes "Godzilla Threshold" page, which talks about a threat of sufficient magnitude to justify putting aside all other priorities and disputes in order to address. I am a sucker for this trope/concept, there is something captivating in the way it allows for otherwise unredeemable characters to show a level of humanity and virtue that forces you to consider them as deep, complex characters. There’s a bit in the novel Good Omens where the angelic character thinks about what humans are capable of, and he has the thought “...And just when you'd think they were more malignant than ever Hell could be, they could occasionally show more grace than Heaven ever dreamed of. Often the same individual was involved.” And the older I get the more I see that.
From what I recall, through this entire confrontation with Leviathan, Coil never shows up. He has a ton of resources in manpower and supplies, and while we don’t get a close look at the evacuation/shelter effort we see no indication that he is contributing any of the things he could to support. I’m very curious if this will ever be addressed in-text, because I think it’s very telling of this man who claims he wants to take over and run this city yet who won’t lift a finger to help others in a crisis. From what we later learn about how his power works, I would be very curious to hear what two timelines he had running during the Leviathan attack.
As the capes group up and try to rally before facing the endbringer, we get a dump of a TON of new names and faces. Some very cool characters here, can’t wait to get caught up on this so I can dive into all the fanart of these capes that I’m sure is out there.
Shoutout to Narwhal for clearly being Unicorn-coded and choosing to not make that her name/identity. You know there’s gotta be a story behind that and I love it.
I find it interesting how Taylor kinda fixates on Eidolon for a minute here. She thinks of him as being among the “big 5″, the capes who you have to rule out when discussing power levels because no one else compares. Except the of the five she lists, I have my doubts about the humanity of four! The endbringers make up three, and even before we get Lisa’s interlude to learn that Leviathan was never human they are all basically treated as forces of nature; these monstrous beings who exist in this perpetual cycle of destruction and hibernation. The other one is Scion, who appeared decades ago as this sort of beatific figure, almost messianic, who appears to neither speak nor rest. Scion strikes me as very inhuman, the way he just appeared fully-formed and interacts with the world with a single purpose. He also chose the name “Scion” for himself, which does imply that he is the descendant of offspring of something else even if the world doesn’t have any idea of what that refers to (huge question mark there). So we have these four basically supernatural entities... and then we have Eidolon, who is implied to be just another cape who was a regular dude and then got powers. Legend is the big #1 superhero in America supposedly, but this guy Eidolon is ranked above him on the hero ranking equivalent of the “banned from tournament play” list. What is his deal???
The armbands are a super cool idea and absolutely necessary. In such a chaotic, fast-moving battle as this is about to be, with so many participants involved, battlefield communication is absolutely essential. Without some form of coordination this would be a completely hopeless fight.
As the capes split up by group, we see a point I made before come up: Skitter is not a heavy-hitter, and she has no particular mobility or defensive abilities. In combat against a single powerful foe, she has basically no ability to help or defend herself. Later on as she is running around the battlefield basically trying to give basic first-aid to downed heroes, I can’t help but think that it would be more effective to have a few teams of EMTs out here. I understand why the paradigm is “capes fight endbringers,” but in this situation Skitter is basically no different from a civilian. She does end up managing to do some basic location tracking of Leviathan through getting some bugs on him, which is helpful, but I’d argue her presence on the battlefield is of equivalent usefulness to any trained first-responder. Which raises the question of either why is she there, and why are they not?
Interlude 8a: Lisa - This is something I’ve been hoping to get for a while, a better glimpse into how Lisa’s power works! Interesting to see the limitations involved, as well as how she truly was just living on the street and basically running fancy pickpocket scams before Coil picked her up. Absolutely love the moment when she’s casing her target and figuring out where he keeps his wallet, and then her power continues just a little bit farther: “Wallet in left jacket pocket; intended to help mask presence of gun holstered at left hip.” And she immediately just NOPES right out of there. Or tries to.
During this interlude we get to see Lisa use her power on Leviathan, which gives us a tiny piece of info that I think may end up being crucial. I actually have a theory based on this, and the entire time I was reading this arc I was waiting for my theory to come true. It never did here, but I still hold some hope. When using her power on Leviathan, Lisa gets the following pieces of info: “Nonstandard nervous system... No brain... Irregular biology... Not human, never was human.” Back when Brian saw Taylor controlling a crab on the beach, she explained that her understanding of what she could or couldn’t control was “I think all it takes is that they have to have very simple brains.” With enough focus and growth and effort, could Taylor control an endbringer? I know that is a very huge leap, and frankly probably too convenient to be true, but there’s a chance that the pieces could line up.
This whole fight is fully of crazy intense moments. A personal standout for me is seeing Bastion trap Leviathan in the collapsing building with himself and yelling at the other heroes to bring the building down on both of them. I’m a massive sucker for a heroic sacrifice and that’s a great one.
Also cool to see Ms. Militia using the leftover explosives from Bakuda against Leviathan. Shame Bakuda was like she was, just think of how helpful her inventions could have been in this situation.
The freeze by Clockblocker is so critical in this fight. If he hadn’t given the capes a chance to pause and regroup that battle would have continued to wear all of them down. It feels like with the huge amount of power and utility all these capes have they should be able to do more damage to the endbringer, but he’s just so fast and slippery that they can’t seem to hold him down in one place long enough to bring those powers to bear.
The fight between Leviathan and Armsmaster is cool, but becomes more important in hindsight as we learn about how Armsmaster arranged it. We definitely get a clear picture of how arrogant and driven Armsmaster is here, he really does a supervillain-style monologue about how he’s beating Leviathan while he does it, only to have it backfire in his face.
I do feel like there’s something here that’s not quite clicking for me. After Armsmaster loses the fight and his arm, Taylor runs in to try and help him, and he repeatedly tells her “you’re dead, he killed you.” We later find out that he set up the whole group to be wiped out, but I’m not clear on why he thinks specifically Taylor was killed? We learn that the armband reported her dead because the armband broke, but Armsmaster was the one who caused it to break so he knew that wasn’t the truth. Maybe he saw one of her swarms get swiped out and thought it was her, or he just assumed everyone had been killed and he’s currently in shock from his injuries? Either way, I don’t see a direct reason why he he would have been convinced enough of her being dead to remark on the subject while he’s badly wounded.
I do find it a little bit amusing how much joy Wildbow clearly takes in describing superheroes and their costumes. It makes sense, given they decided to tell a story that features so many of them, but you can just feel a little bit of the enjoyment of the author every time they pause for a moment to describe new capes, their costume designs and colors and identities. And I’m very much not saying this is a bad thing! It really fleshes out all this huge cast of characters and makes it clear that everyone has their individual identities, such as the ways that a family of flying blasters like Lady Photon and Laserdream set themselves apart. It’s endearing.
The scene with Rachel and her dogs coming to the rescue is heartbreaking. I knew they were gonna take losses eventually, and I knew it was gonna punch me in the gut. Honestly this is a lot better than it could have been, they dive in at a crucial moment against an impossible opponent and buy enough time for Scion to show up, so it feels like a worthwhile sacrifice, but it still sucks. The fact that Rachel jumped in here  and sacrificed her dogs to save Taylor says to me that they really had formed a connection, even if Rachel wouldn’t admit it, and also explains why Rachel is so vicious with the perceived betrayal to come.
Seeing Scion fight Leviathan just reinforces my idea that neither of these figures are standard parahumans/capes. I think the both of them are roughly on an equal level, some sort of outside entities which happen to be wrapped up in a struggle on earth.
Honestly, for me the scariest and most tense part of this entire arc is the time Taylor spends handcuffed to the hospital bed. Fighting Leviathan is dangerous and exciting, but this whole idea of lying there in pain, partially paralyzed, restrained, unsure of whether her friends survived, and fearing that the nominal “good guys” are going to use this opportunity to eliminate her and there’s nothing she can do about it? Horrifying. Total grounds for a panic attack.
Ok, a few big things happen in quick succession here, so some of these notes are a little out-of-order.
I’m a little unclear about how the whole hospital scene went so bad. I understand from an administrative perspective why the nursing staff aren’t allowed to talk to patients here, and that they’re swamped and trying to do triage. And when I think about it, it does make sense to restrain capes to avoid anyone from walking around and causing exactly the situation Skitter causes with Sophia. But none of that is communicated to anyone! This is not the first time this has happened, you’d think they’d have some sort of protocol for communicating “we’re going to give you what care we can, we can’t have you walking around, please be patient.” Instead they take all these capes with various levels of power and ingenuity and paranoia and handcuff them and keep them in the dark. Of course you’re going to have someone freak out and try to escape! And yeah Panacea made things worse by trying to spook Skitter, but once again this could have been avoided if they had just made clear what the protocol was up front.
On that same note, I don’t totally understand why the Protectorate wanted Panacea to come heal Skitter before they come talk to her in-person. Later they say they were going to offer her a place on the Wards. Are they giving that same offer to every single young villain? Legend and the heroes he has with him are huge names, presumably there is a lot of work for them to do in the wake of this disaster, this feels like a weird thing for them to all be doing personally. I just don’t understand what was supposed to happen here before Skitter tried to run and caused the standoff.
Honestly props to Tattletale for handling that, if she hadn’t been there Skitter would have been absolutely screwed. I very much understand why she refused to join the Wards or give an identity trade to Sophia, but that basically left her only option as going to the Birdcage, so...
Oh man the Sophia reveal got me. Honestly in hindsight it makes sense, everything we’ve heard about Sophia and Shadow Stalker totally lines up. Super messed up, but it adds an extra layer of explanation to all of the resistance from the school to applying any serious punishment to the bullies. I kinda avoided making any predictions about people Taylor knew in civilian life secretly being capes, I figured it would be too much of a coincidence, but this one works. It also gives some context for why Emma flipped on her so hard, which is something I’ve been wondering about for a long time. Not that it justifies it, but it’s some sort of explanation which we’ve been missing.
The ending of the hospital scene felt a little weird to me. The heroes are so freaked out by the potential for a villain to have uncovered the secret identity of one of their Wards, fair enough. But then they find out that Armsmaster secretly did some sketchy stuff and they all get distracted by him, ok that makes sense. But they’re so distracted that they let the villain just... run out the front door? There’s no Protectorate member there who feels like they should maybe grab her and get this resolved? I know Tattletale was trying to convince them to let Skitter go, but I didn’t get the sense that they were ok with that yet. Also Taylor is crushed by having her secret come out, so she just... runs out into the night? Felt like a weird note for everyone to leave off on.
On the other hand, the scene at the memorial is nice. It’s good to see the doggos on there, they deserve to be there too dammit.
I gotta say, I am very glad that I’m reading this after it’s all written. I can imagine hitting some of these cliffhangers and having to wait for the next installment would be torture. I am curious as to how significant the difference in reading experience is by being able to read it all back-to-back. I know for a fact that the extra time to think and process installments between releases does change the way the reader processes the story. I especially noticed this with the upcoming Wards interlude Arc, that felt like a very nice way to space out the “books”.
Gonna end this here. The Coil interlude had some interesting moments I might touch on, but I am really excited to talk about the Wards Interlude Arc, I have strong feelings about basically every installment of that arc so that might need to break up into multiple posts.
25 notes · View notes
fantasyinvader · 2 years ago
Note
For the record, I sensed to block this guy early so I write this openly admitting that they can not see it. So, with that said, here I go.
Even then, the devs have said it’s not a matter of Divine Right of Kings, but rather the Mandate of Heaven. That is a major point of discussion here, as the dichotomy between the two sides of MoH was the basis of CF vs. AM.
Rather than saying that each route ends with someone ruling as their Goddess-given right, it’s more that the heavens put expectations on who rules the earth and lends their support to those found deserving (Oudou). On the other hand, it also says that those who don’t have or dynasties that have lost their mandate (Hadou) are unfit to rule and encourages rebellion and the establishment of a new ruler. If you want to a really basic version of it. This is usually signaled by the likes of natural disasters or famine, if the ruler is bad than the state of the land reflects it. Think every time a story paints an evil kings domain as a harsh place where very little grows or lives.
AM was said to reflect Oudou, the proper way to rule (and having positive connotations, basically saying it’s the correct way to do things) while CF is Hadou (which has negative connotations, and has a modern usage regarding the abuse of power.). The Devs are saying that Edelgard is not fit to rule using a phrase someone, trying to say the interview was “careful” not to make Edelgard appear as the bad guy, translated as “military rule” which is how Claude describes her rule in Verdant Wind.
And you can’t really write this off with Death of the Author, when the game has text that descibes her rule. Text such as:
1) How the common folks don’t support the war until Edelgard gives them an “information campaign” according to the Japanese text.
2)  An Edelgard-aligned Shez also says that her rule oppresses the common folk and props up the nobility who bend the knee to her. We even get Kingdom nobility joining her because Dimitri is trying to limit the nobility’s power while empowering the commoners, and no surprise these people are the same ones who assassinated Lambert for trying the same thing.
3) Commoners are being conscripted to fight under the penalty of death, and those back at home are starving because all the food is going to feed the Empire’s massive army.
4) Edelgard also does not assign commoners into positions of power because her allied nobles will see it as a threat. Dorothea’s status as an ex-diva exempts her from this, as the nobility see her as on their level. For the average Joe, they need to prove themselves worthy of being given the chance whereas nobility get those positions off the bat.
5) Hubert’s endings talk about spying on the public, putting down any “threats” to the Empire with the English text mentioning rebellions. The Constance/Byleth CF ending mentions using pilfered Slither tech in order to maintain order.
6) Edelgard and Dorothea’s ending depicts Edelgard censoring a play about her until Dorothea convinced her otherwise. Keep in mind, she banned the play without seeing it, while Ferdinand also mentions his materials being censored.
7) She creates a state-run Church after prosecuting the faithful.
8) in Hopes, she flat out says her goal is the conquest of Fodlan with mention of wiping out anyone who doesn’t “believe” in her or support her ideals. Combine this with point 7 and we have grounds to make this her holy war against the non-believers.
9) Nobles are depicted as being able to hand their positions over to their kids in CF’s endings.
And more!
This is in addition to also saying that Fodlan was designed to support Silver Snow’s story. The world was built to support the story where the Church of Seiros are the good guys and Edelgard is one of the bad guys they stop.
Crimson Flower, according to them, isn’t the Empire Route but the CONQUEST route. While SS/VW/AM had “the war fucks everything up so much Fodlan needs to reunify in order to not collapse,” Edelgard is the one waging the war in the name of CONQUEST. It was decided with Edelgard to give her the roles of conqueror and villain, in contrast to Fire Emblem’s past female antagonists though the text does heavily imply she’s been manipulated since the experimentation by TWSITD into starting this war.
Edelgard is not a good guy, a “hero” only in the tradition of the ancient Greeks where she accomplishes a great task regardless of morality. Like Kratos in God of War, someone who was also a villain protagonist.
I'm amazed that even after 3+ years we're still having people refusing to admit that the Ladle and by extension the Empire are the antagonists. She's not a mustache twirling villain like the Slithers are, but she's still doing and causing bad things. Like even if the game gives her a hefty amount of sympathy, it shouldn't be hard to deduce that conquering two countries over misguided information and revanchist nationalism and trying to extinct a race that had already suffered a genocide while spewing out racist rhetoric are not heroic at all.
Ah, but you see, that is not what people see. They see
She is saving the other nations from the control of the Church.
She is lying to protect people from the truth right now, because the truth would be too much for them to handle
There is no nationalism!
She doesn't actually want to kill Nabateans. She even spares Seteth and Flayn, and offers mercy to Rhea! See? She's not trying to kill anyone!
Etc.
As such, it becomes much easier to defend her unilateral grab of power and dictatorship.
140 notes · View notes
gaymooshroom-archive · 3 years ago
Text
i’ve gotten a LOT of anons asking abt this so. lets talk about ninja and poki. it’s long! 
first of all: here’s her vod. 
poki revealed on stream today that ninja acted extremely disrespectfully towards her in the aftermath of jidion’s harassment. he offered to help jidion avoid a ban by texting his twitch representative after it was made abundantly clear by jidion and his viewers that what had occurred was a hate raid (ninja said “you can’t go around raiding bitches on twitch” in response). they were joking around on stream and became twitter mutuals, ninja even retweeted him that day. poki mentioned on stream that she found ninja’s behavior odd, but didn’t go into detail. 
his wife/manager, jessica, then dmed poki. she told her that ninja never called poki a bitch, that ninja dmed jidion and told him the hate raid wasn’t ok, and that ninja never said he would try to help jidion evade the ban. jessica sent poki screenshots of ninja supposedly telling jidion off but it was almost entirely them complimenting each other and ninja giving jidion advice on how to avoid getting banned in the future. NOT telling he shouldn’t hate-raid women because it was sexist harassment -- he was helping him not get caught the next time. after jidion blamed poki for his ban, ninja said that “even though it was just Ls and ratios it was still considered a ‘hate raid,’” and that the rules were unfortunate and he believed jidion didnt have bad intentions. jessica said she wanted poki to know “the whole story” and not how people tried to “twist it” on the internet. many of the things jessica said were demonstrably false. ninja deleted the vod of him and jidion talking so poki could not find clips as evidence. 
poki replied, reiterating why she was upset with ninja, refuting some of the false claims made by jessica, and explaining how his and jidion’s behavior impacted her. she sent the only proof available since the vod was deleted, which was reddit comments about ninja’s stream, specifically him offering to help him ban evade. jessica again claimed she was telling poki “the facts” despite literal evidence to the contrary and an extremely thorough explanation of the events from poki, and stated very clearly that they were not apologizing because they did nothing wrong. she then went on to say that poki was doing the exact same thing to ninja that jidion did to poki. i know this is something of a buzzword these days, but ninja’s wife and manager (acting in cooperation with ninja) trying to gaslight poki into thinking she was fabricating events and overreacting is beyond gross. 
jessica claimed she and ninja were both ignorant of any actions jidion took beyond the “L + ratio” spam and that ninja had “publicly renounced” him that day on stream. poki had just finished telling jessica, in detail, everything jidion had done. in addition to that, ninja and jidion had been interacting on twitter while jidion’s profile photo was literally a picture of poki without makeup. in terms of ninja “denouncing” him, the only statement ninja made was this (i’m picking out what i see as the important parts, but it starts around 55:07 in the vod): “the jidion thing was kind of gnarly [...] i love his energy, he’s clearly an entertainer, he was born to do it, but i had a talk with him last night [...] you can’t send your community into other people’s chat, even if it’s just L + ratio. it was against TOS [...] with great power comes great responsibility [...] i am still down to play with him, i have to wait ‘til he’s unbanned. the guy’s a massive troll, so he wasn’t saying ‘go hate’ [...] he got banned for two weeks, i think it was his first incident too [...].” 
poki rightfully replied to jessica saying that this was not denouncement, that ninja was still supporting jidion. as soon as jessica got that response, ninja deleted that vod as well -- thankfully poki had anticipated that and recorded it. poki spent the entire evening trying to find evidence from the original vod to find the clip of ninja and jidion interacting, and after a lot of searching (again, ninja and jessica had been extremely careful to erase all signs of that vod) she found it and sent the relevant clips to jessica as proof. poki’s original summary of the clips were accurate so i won’t repeat it here, but it starts around 1:01:42 in her vod. the most important part is that he texts his twitch representative on stream and narrates himself doing so. he says “i sent the text.” jessica again insists that she and ninja don’t know about anything poki experienced besides the L + ratio spam, but this had been a trending and widely-discussed topic that poki was talking to jessica about for four days. and she AGAIN says ninja didn’t text his twitch representative even though he was recorded doing so. poki corrected her (for like the third time) about jessica’s obvious lies, said ninja’s actions were aggravating the harassment she faced, and explained that they couldn’t plead ignorance after four entire days of discussion. jessica then completely stopped responding. 
WHILE POKI WAS LIVE TODAY TELLING THIS STORY, ninja dmed her. it was around 1:27:33 in her vod. most people have seen this, but he sent three messages saying this: “Hey, so I just want you to know. I swear on my grandfather’s life, who just passed away, that I didn’t text my twitch rep. And you are making a big mistake.” at this point now both ninja and his wife have lied to and harassed poki in her dms. she points out that even if he was for some reason pretending to text his twitch rep, the fact that he did so on-stream without indicating that it was fake means he was still sending a message of support to jidion and his actions. ninja replied that “he will be clarifying everything.” 
basically: ninja offered support and friendship to jidion despite being explicitly told and witnessing for himself that he had harassed poki. jessica (on behalf of ninja) repeatedly lied to poki about her own experience and harassment and said she was acting just as disrespectfully as jidion, and refused to apologize. they made efforts to erase all possible evidence by deleting vods, clips, and youtube reuploads. ninja continued to make favorable statements towards jidion that minimized poki’s experience as “trolling.” ninja then dmed her while she was live and threatened her. 
this isn’t ninja making a stupid or uneducated comment on stream, or misunderstanding a situation. this is repeated and targeted gaslighting and harassment of pokimane and the open support of a streamer who has proven himself to be misogynistic. i’m not trigger-happy when it comes to “cancelling” or deplatforming but all of this was clearly undertaken with malicious intent and can’t fly under the radar. 
932 notes · View notes
delicrieux · 4 years ago
Text
—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER
Tumblr media
extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 
pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao
author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao
ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist
Tumblr media
You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.
A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?
Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.
A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”
mother i crave violence
sensing evil energy rn!!
i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖
^with peace and love shut the fuck up
“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”
You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”
Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.
“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 
rip headphone users
i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears
yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭
To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.
Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 
queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?
Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie
akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.
Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.
There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.
The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.
nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!
^pack it up girl defined
“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”
You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 
“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 
i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 
shes trying give her time
ya dig??? y not capeesh
what scene from the godfather is this lol?
“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.
Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎
You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”
The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.
Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:
I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.
You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.
“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”
NOW she considers it
well....
if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3
Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”
Onto the bio:
You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 
���What the fuck did I just read?”
The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.
The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 
But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.
No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.
“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.
WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????
tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be
^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell
look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling
It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.
What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.
Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.
YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 
...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.
You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.
“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.
“What?” She grits.
“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”
“What did you do now?”
“I made fun of men on Tinder.”
She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”
“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”
“Y/n.”
“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”
She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.
Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.
You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(
my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?
Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 
Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!
You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?
my husband Not jealous.
Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”
He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!
my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.
You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao
my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?
You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs
my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)
Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.
Tumblr media
hope you liked it!! xx
953 notes · View notes
thickenmyblood · 3 years ago
Note
hey maca :)) I have sth that I’d love to hear your input on! (wall of text incoming so beware- I’m absolutely not mad if you don’t want to answer lmao). Basically it’s about how you portray women in your works and to what extent you see that portrayal mirrored in the canon books. I have noticed that a lot of writers tend to go a traditional route with for example daughters not being heirs like you also mentioned in an answer for a wtsioa ask on here. Considering the cultures Vere and Akielos are based on that’s obviously very logical and a lot of authors (including you) make it work fantastically! Yet personally I never got the vibe of Vere and Akielos being as patriarchal in canon, mostly because the Information we get is kind of confusing. On one hand damen is a walking manosphere (and. all of Akielos in general as well) without any prominent female figures in his life but on the other hand damen only ever speaks appreciatively of for example the female vaskian warriors. Both countries seem to ban women from the army yet Damen also refers to a warrior queen. The regent is a total misogynist but with the wording Laurent uses it almost seems like that is more the exception and not the general rule of veretian court life. Both countries also have ties to Vask, an exclusive matriarchy and Akielos is said to be similar to Patras which Pacat has stated is also partly a strong matriarchy due to vaskian occupations in the past. I could go on for a lot longer but I guess that damens overall positive attitude towards women and especially stereotypically spoken masculine women is what sticks out the most to me. It just seems kind of misplaced in a world that supposedly is as sexist as the original cultures from our world. Which is why I’d say both countries do have gender roles but are overall a lot more egalitarian than their respective real world og cultures. But that’s only my take and I’d love to hear more on what others think about the portrayal of women in canon and how they chose to portray it in fanfiction. Love you and your new work, hope you’re doing well❤️
HELLO!!! Thank you for asking me interesting stuff :, ) you always have the best questions and my sad little inbox is open to you any time, friend. I divided this into parts, so:
My portrayal of women: I need to work on this a lot lmao. I’m not proud of any female character I have ever written for this fandom, and I’m also not proud to say I struggle horribly when it comes to writing female OCs, especially if the story is not about a female character that is a literal projection of me. Or Bella Swan (yes, Twilight literally shaped my sad little brain and the way I write and consume fiction).
Authors writing female characters in a “traditional” way (for fantasy settings): I can’t speak for other authors but I definitely think, in my case, that using the “it’s a patriarchal society, women have no rights, women can’t be heirs, etc.” blueprint is a matter of being lazy. It’s quick, and easy, and it’s been done before so we all know how it works and a) it’s unlikely that you’ll mess it up (in the plot hole kind of way) and b) it’s obvious that most readers know how the usual system works and so you don’t have to spend paragraphs or even chapters explaining it to them. I am very lazy when it comes to world-building for fics. Why? Because when I’m writing fanfiction I don’t give two shits about the world, I just care about the characters doing Things and having Feelings. The moment you start to question these issues (a society where women can join the army, where they can be heirs, where maybe they can have multiple husbands, etc.) a billion issues arise because it’s not the “usual way” and so you’ll have to deal with “unusual problems”. See: plot holes, info-dumping, etc.
Vere and Akielos in canon: I think the books get very, very confusing at times when it comes to gender roles in that specific world. They also get very confusing about how royalty works, in my opinion. So:
Damen never mentions female influences in his life, not even nannies or wetnurses or anything. He mentions past queens and his mother, but even then… It’s always struck me as “what the actual fuck” that we get no information on Egeria. In TSP, he doesn’t even read as curious to me, especially when I think of that line that goes something like “oh, well, he’d never asked how tall she was”.
Then you have Jokaste, who is highborn and also… perhaps trained in politics? It’s unclear to me if she’s ever been directly involved in meetings or been an active member of the Council or even been allowed to study these issues. Clearly, she’s smart and capable and cunning, but like… how? Did she have private tutors? Is she a self-made woman? Like, what’s up with that? Are women allowed to engage in public politics? Are they allowed to be kyroi?
IMO, Damen complimenting the female warriors in Vask has to do with how appreciative he is of war-related stuff. Like, he thinks people with his own qualities are neat. We see this time and time again in the books—having honor, being brave, respecting one’s family, protecting those who need protecting… He compliments these things when he sees them in others, especially in Laurent. Obviously one of the big changes in Damen as a character is that he goes from being daddy’s boy to being like “well, actually… maybe war isn’t always the answer, and maybe war isn’t always honorable”. The Vaskian warriors prove themselves worthy of praise in a “manly” way, if that makes sense. (In the same way, Laurent proves himself in the Okton, not so much to Damen but to other Akielons). So, in essence, War > Any issues he may have about women doing Stuff.
Don’t judge me for this but I can’t remember the Regent talking about women. Do you have any quotes about that? I feel like Book 1 is super rich when it comes to world-building stuff and yet it’s the book I remember the least. I know he obviously has a preference for boys and not girls, but I don’t recall him having interactions with Vannes or ladies at court? I’M SORRY I’M SO STUPID but I don’t own the book so I can’t exactly word search my way out of this one, and so instead of saying stupid stuff, I’m asking anyone reading this (lol, you and my mom probably) to please tell me what canon says on this issue.
Ties to Vask: Er, yeah, I mean… They’re clearly not at war with Vask and have some sort of economic deal (there are Vaskian pets in Arles? Which makes me wonder if they, like, buy them from Vask? Or if the pets are Vaskian and turn into pets in Vere? Slaves are not like pets so I don’t know?), BUT just because they have deals with this kingdom/are on good terms with the ruler does not mean they necessarily approve? Like, maybe they’re like “yeah, it’s weird they give women so much power, but also I need that silk/leather/WHATEVER, so I’ll shut up about that”.
“Akielos is said to be similar to Patras which Pacat has stated is also partly a strong matriarchy due to Vaskian occupations in the past.” Is this in the books or is this something she said in an interview/post-releasing the trilogy? I know in the books there’s a quote that Akielos and Patras are similar because they both have slaves, but other than that I can’t quite remember anything about Patras? Like, I don’t recall Pacat giving us extensive and thorough world-building on either nation, at all. Once again, I am asking you for more explanations on this because I literally don’t remember.
4. My opinion and a Stupidity Disclaimer: As I’ve said above, there’s a lot of stuff I don’t remember and so I’m not trying to preach to anyone reading this or even saying that I hold the truth about… anything. I’m answering questions as I see fit and asking more questions when I run out of answers.
I believe world-building is not one of Captive Prince’s strong points. I will not elaborate on this because this is already long enough but there is simply, in my opinion, not enough material to reach any solid conclusions when it comes to world-building questions such as the role of women in Vere and Akielos, how compulsory homosexuality affects the development of highborn men and women in Vere, exactly what makes Akielos’ view on women different from Vere’s (if there’s any difference at all), the history of gender roles in this world and how it’s evolved up until canon, how Lamen can solve the heir issue without recurring to, once again, “the usual stuff” (concubines, bastards, marriage to women, etc.). It’s clear from what I’ve read that Pacat has come a long way as a writer and that her new trilogy has a lot more in-depth explanations to world-building questions, but this is not the case with CP, and so I’m afraid my answer to most of this is “I don’t know, and I don’t think anyone can know for sure”.
Lastly, I think I struggle a lot with understanding the role of women in this universe because I simply did not see enough women doing stuff, so I don’t know what’s permitted, what’s unacceptable, what’s illegal, what is straight-up execution worthy, etc. This is not me complaining about the lack of female characters in CP, at all, which I know is contradictory to stuff I’ve said in the past (I answered a couple asks a year ago about how I’d wished we’d gotten Vannes’ POV or Jokaste’s POV in the short stories). I’ve changed my mind, and so I think Pacat is entitled to write whatever she wants, just like I’m entitled to talk shit about KR with any living soul who will listen lmao.
To end this on a spicy note, I think sometimes we consume the wrong media and then complain because it doesn’t have what we wanted. If you’re looking for a trilogy with strong, fleshed-out female characters, Captive Prince is not for you. If you’re looking for a trilogy on female struggles and, I don’t know, defying… the male gaze… Captive Prince is not for you. There are plenty of books out there that focus exclusively on female characters, featuring sapphic relationships, and dealing with gender issues. WHICH IS NOT TO SAY WE SHOULDN’T BE HAVING THESE DISCUSSIONS. This is not about this particular question, but more about a lot of posts I’ve seen floating around… complaining about Pacat’s writing and the themes she didn’t explore.
If anyone has made it this far, thank you for reading, and know this is NOT me telling you what to think. This post is an open question that anyone can engage with, although I hope people will engage with this directly and on this platform, instead of… taking it somewhere else where I sadly can’t engage back! Unlike what happened with our awesome fat Laurent discussion, I will be replying to any questions I get on this (Note: I did not reply to most of those questions because a long time had passed and they were sort of repetitive).
60 notes · View notes
wholesomemendes · 4 years ago
Text
Top of the List
Summary: You’re a junior in college who spends almost all of your time stuck in either your dorm room or the library until you’re forced to go to a frat party where you meet Shawn, who immediately changes your whole college experience. 
Author’s Note: I’m backkkkkk. I am so so excited about this one. This was based off a request I got in like May or something like that basically so insanely long ago and I never got to it because I knew it was going to be long. I kinda went off track with the request too a little bit, but I hope you love it as much as I do. It’s my baby so please be kind (also it’s my birthday so please don’t hurt my feelings too much lol). As always, I love hearing any type of feedback and I love you all x
Word Count: 12.2k
Tumblr media
The door of your dorm room slammed open as your roommate rushed inside, frantically throwing her bag onto her bed and rummaging through her closet. You peered over the top of your laptop where you were busy editing an essay you had just finished for a class, watching her distressed state with curious eyes. “What’s going on?”
“What do you mean?” Natalie asked almost breathlessly, settling on a silk, light pink top with a plunging v-neck and a short black skirt.
“Why are you rushing so much? Where are you going?”
You would’ve thought you had grown three heads by the way she looked at you and the way she rolled her eyes when she noticed you were being dead serious made you slightly cave in on yourself in disappointment. “How do you not know what’s going on tonight? Sigma Alpha Epsilon is throwing another one of their huge parties, it’s all everyone has been talking about for the past two weeks.”
“I don’t know, must’ve just gone over my head,” you mumbled, feeling a little self-conscious about your lack of knowledge on what was going on in the social life of your campus. Ninety-nine percent of the time your head was stuck in a book or hunched over your laptop doing homework in the library so it really shouldn’t have been a surprise that this party was nowhere on your radar.
“Well now you know, so you’re going with me. Chop chop you’ve got to get dressed.”
“HA, you think I’m going to a party?”
She raised an eyebrow at you, silently challenging you to disagree with her, “Um, yes you are. Connor invited me which means I’m inviting you because he invites like 20 girls and I don’t want to be stuck alone all night.”
“You’re not going to be alone all night,” you sighed, closing your laptop before swinging your legs off the side of the bed, “You’re popular enough on campus that you’ll be able to find someone to hang out there with if I’m not there.”
“I know, but it’d be more fun if you were there with me. Pleaseeeeeee.” Natalie pulled out her best puppy dog eyes on you, her bottom lip jutting out to make her face look more innocent, “I’ll even do your makeup and hair for you….and you can borrow some of my clothes!”
“What, are my clothes not good enough or something?”
“They are! They’re just a little too, what’s the word I’m looking for, conservative for a party. You need something a little bit scandalous, you know? Gotta give the boys a little something something.” She wiggled her eyebrows at you before letting out a huff of annoyance and getting up to grab your hand to pull you off of the bed, “Come on, no excuses. Let’s get you ready for tonight.”
__________________________
This wasn’t your scene. Natalie had left you to go play beer pong about thirty minutes after you stepped foot into the loud, alcohol-stenched frat house, but you soon lost sight of her when Connor whisked her away after their team won against two other frat boys to what you could only assume would be his bedroom. You didn’t mind that she left you, you’d rather have one of you enjoying yourself then have her be miserable trying to entertain you. The tight shirt and skirt Natalie forced you into didn’t seem like such a bad idea when you were staring at yourself in the mirror of your dorm (to be honest the way she did your hair and makeup gave you a newfound confidence you hadn’t had in years), but now as you stood in the corner of the kitchen quietly nursing your drink while your eyes scanned the crowd of sweaty college students, you couldn’t feel more insecure and self-conscious. Your arms wrapped around your center, desperately trying to cover up what little skin was to be seen and you wished that Natalie would come down those stairs any second to go back to your dorm with you. You were so lost in your thoughts you hardly noticed the stench of beer get stronger around you or the heat of another body on your shoulder until the unknown person was up against you. “Hey,” the boy who you recognized from one of your writing classes and were pretty sure was a part of another fraternity on campus slurred, “You wanna come dance with me, sexy?”
“Um, no I’m ok, thanks though.” You tried to turn and walk away from him, but were stopped abruptly by his hand gripping your wrist and pulling you closer to him again.
“Come on, it’ll be fun,” he breathed into your ear, hot breath fanning across your face in the process making you cringe inward on yourself, “I’d love to feel that ass of yours up against me.”
“I said no, I don’t want to dance with you.” You could feel the panic rising in your throat, causing your words to come out broken and weak, and you desperately wished someone would see the fear in your eyes and come help you. His grip on you tightened the more you resisted and in that moment you wished you had never been stupid enough to listen to Natale about how fun this party was going to be.
“And I said you should come dance with me. So why don’t you-” HIs hand was pried off your wrist in seconds and you rubbed the spot where it had left, holding it close to your chest in fear.
“I think she already said no, buddy.” Your savior came in the form of a curly, brown haired boy that stood at least a couple inches over your unwanted dance partner. A scowl was evident on his face, his brown eyes hard and dark, “Now you should probably get out before I ban you from ever stepping foot in this place again.”  The other boy left, but not before rudely shoulder checking the person you believed was your hero, which only earned him a scoff in return. “God, can’t stand people like that. They have no common decency for anyone.” He made eye contact with you for the first time that night and your heart skipped a beat, your body feeling somewhat small compared to his tall height. He saw the fearful look in your eyes and placed a comforting hand on your shoulder before looking you up and down for any signs of damage from the previous encounter, “Are you ok?”
“Yeah, I am now that you saved me,” you mumbled slightly, lowering your gaze to your cup in order to avoid his worried look, “Thank you, I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t stepped in.”
“Well I’m glad I could help. I’m Shawn, by the way, I don’t think we’ve ever met.” Sticking his hand out for you to shake, he gave you a dazzling smile and you immediately recognized him as the president of the fraternity, the one your roommate was constantly talking about trying to get into his pants. Seeing him up close for the first time, you couldn’t help but understand why all the girls wanted to get with him and why a lot of those girls did get with him. There was a blue bandana wrapped around his head pushing back the beautiful curls that adorned his head and his chiseled jaw and bright eyes entranced you, making it hard to look away. His black t-shirt was frayed at the top near the buttons, allowing his few chest hairs to peak out, and his muscles practically bulged out of the short sleeves. You noticed a few tattoos along his arms, one being the one all of the hockey players got after they won their championship, as you shook his hand, but his strong grip broke you out of your thoughts and forced you to look at him again.
“I’m Y/n.”
“It’s nice to meet you. Do you need another drink? I know where all of the good alcohol is if you want it,” he winked at you, a smug smirk on his lips as he held his hand up to his face as if he was telling you something top secret.
You looked at the almost empty beer in your hand sadly, but the thought of getting another drink absolutely disgusted you at the moment, “No thank you. I think I’m going to head out actually, I’m a little shaken up to be honest.”
“Don’t go because of that!” Shawn’s voice sounded rushed as if he desperately wanted you to stay, though you pushed the thought aside, knowing that he couldn’t care less about what you did. “If you want you can stay by me for the rest of the night or if you came with someone you can always use my name, I’ve learned it can get you a long way sometimes.”
Your eyes met his once again and you tried to push the butterflies that you were feeling down your throat. “I’m just here with my roommate, but I think she went up with one of your friends,” you admitted bashfully, rubbing your hand up and down your arm nervously, “I haven’t seen her in awhile. Parties aren’t exactly my thing, I’m only here because she forced me to come, so I think I’m just going to text her and then head out.”
“You’re going to walk home alone? Do you really think that’s a good idea?”
“I don’t have any better ones right now.”
“Easy. I’ll walk you home.” He leaned against one of the walls comfortably as he spoke, a large smile on his face the entire time. There wasn’t a look of regret on his face, but you still questioned his motives. Why would he want to go out of his way to make sure you got home safe? Was he just trying to get you in bed with him? But if he was then why was he so adamant about getting that guy off of you?
“Don’t worry about it Shawn, really, I’ll be ok.”
“It’s either that or you’re staying in my room tonight so you don’t have to walk home alone.” There was a confident look in his eyes and he knew he had you beat, causing you to roll your eyes before walking past him towards the door.
His eyes followed you curiously as you walked away, watching as you turned around and beckoned him forward, “Come on then, I want to be asleep before 4,” leaving him to trail behind you like a puppy at your feet. __________________________
The two of you walked to your dorms in a mix of comfortable silence and easy conversation that sparked in the 10 minutes it took to get you home. It was surprising how little awkward tension there was for two people on completely different sides of the spectrum who had never met before today, but you wouldn’t trade it for the world. You learned he was majoring in music, something that his parents weren’t one hundred percent confident with, though they still supported him nonetheless he assured you, and that he had been playing hockey since he was 6. The moment you got to the door of your building you stopped, ready to thank him for walking with you and move on with the rest of your night, preferably reading your essay one more time before heading to bed, but Shawn had other plans. “Why’d you stop? Did you forget your key or something?”
“No,” you looked at him with furrowed brows, “I think I can walk up to my dorm myself.”
He crossed his arms defensively with a stern look on his face, “Oh I get it, you don’t want me to know which room you’re in. I saved you from some creep and you still think I’m just like him don’t you."
“It’s not that, I just don’t feel comfortable bringing you up to my dorm after we just met.”
“Which is a big deal because…”
“Isn’t me saying that it makes me uncomfortable enough of a reason?” you asked him, mimicking his position as a tiny bit of anger grew inside of you.
Shawn scoffed, rolling his eyes at your words, “Honey, if I wanted to get you in my bed, you’d already be in there by now. There’s no reason to worry about me doing anything to you if you let me walk you up there.”
“Excuse me? Just because you’ve gotten with the entire cheerleading team…”
“Not true...”
“And at least half of the sorority girls…”
“Half is pushing it a little bit…”
“Doesn’t mean that you’d be able to get with me. I don’t have time for a relationship right now and I don’t do random hookups, thank you very much. So thank you for saving me at the party and thank you for walking me home, but that will be all. Good night, Shawn.” With that you turned on your heels, using your key card before slamming the door in his face and heading up the stairs to your dorm. You couldn’t believe it. Right when you thought you were forming a type of friendship or a least mutual respect for someone that wasn’t your roommate it all fell apart like it always did. What were you thinking when Shawn Mendes was the definition of a frat boy? Why would he want to be friends with someone like you? You couldn’t even lie and say that it didn’t hurt a little when he said he would’ve already tried to get you in bed if he wanted to. Were you really that ugly that the boy who practically got with any female that wanted to didn’t want to get with you? Not that you would sleep with him if he had asked you, you did have an unspoken rule with yourself that you didn’t want to do hookups in college, but at least knowing that he found you attractive would have given you a slight confidence boost. You already hated how you had never been asked out by the boys in college, even though you weren’t exactly looking for a guy or putting yourself out there to be asked on a date, and how every girl seemed to sneer at you when you walked past. So that night you cuddled yourself under the covers, vowing to never step foot in another frat house again no matter how much Natalie begged. __________________________
“What are you doing tonight?” Natalie launched herself onto your bed, causing you to let out a groan when she landed on you.
You pushed her off of you while she laughed, making you roll your eyes, “Probably just binge watching some Netflix honestly. Why?”
“Really? That wasn’t what I thought you’d say at all.”
“What’d you think I was going to say?” you laughed as she sat up and leaned against your wall.
“Oh, something along the lines of ‘I have to study for a test that I’ve already taken and rewrite my essay for the thirtieth time’”, she said in a high pitched voice you soon realized was her impression of you.
“Hey, I do not sound like that! And besides, laugh all you want about it, but I’m at the top of the class so I don’t see anything wrong with that.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that, I’m just surprised you’re giving yourself a break.”
“I am,” you told her with a smile, “I have no homework to finish tonight or tests coming up or essays that need to be turned in, so I’m finally letting myself have a night off.”
“Or…”
You raised an eyebrow at her, “Or what.”
“Or you could come to the hockey game tonight with me so I’m not alone.”
“Oh hell no, Nat, I’m not doing this again.” You grabbed your laptop off of your side table, already ready to pop open your tv series for the night.
“What do you mean you’re not doing this again? It’ll be fun!”
“Last time you convinced me to go somewhere I almost got harassed by a drunk frat boy and then I got into an argument with another frat boy while you were busy hooking up with a different one.”
“Come on, it wasn’t that bad,” she scoffed, climbing off the bed, “Besides, you’ve never been to a hockey game before and you’re a junior. No offense, but do you know how pathetic that sounds. Our school is literally known for hockey! Just once and then I’ll never ask you to go again.” You gave her a stern look, one that threatened her to ask again, but when she flashed her eyes at you, you immediately gave in, rolling your eyes at yourself and already hating yourself for agreeing.
“Fine, but you can’t leave my side the entire night.”
“I promise I won’t! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She brought you into a bone crushing hug before releasing you in favor of searching through her closet for something for the both of you to wear. __________________________
You couldn’t lie and say you weren’t enjoying yourself a little bit. Opposed to last time Natalie was still sitting by your side and you had managed to convince her to let you wear one of your school hoodies and a pair of leggings to keep warm instead of the (as she phrased it) ‘hot ass’ outfit she had picked out for you. It was the final 10 minutes of the game and your team was ahead by four points, something everyone had been assured was an easy win from the start. Still, you could tell why everyone liked going to the games, it was energetic and loud and everything you thought a college game would be, but not as overwhelming. Even though Natalie had decided to sit next to Connor and they were relentlessly flirting and managing to have physical contact with one another the entire time, you were so focused on the game that it wasn’t bothering you as much as you imagined it would when you first sat down. You were entranced by the way the players skated across the ice, your eyes immediately drawing to one player in particular that seemed so comfortable on the ice. The moment you saw the back of his jersey though, MENDES written in bright white lettering, your heart dropped a little bit, not wanting to watch him as much as you were. Though it was hard not to when there was a clear reason he was made captain, so you were left to shamelessly follow his fast, steady movements across the ice.
The game soon ended with a win as expected and you were forced to follow Natalie and Connor deeper into the crowd of students to congratulate the team after they came out of their locker room. The crowd was cheering, adrenaline pumping through the air as you walked down the halls until you reached a large open space. Not long after all of the boys were making their way out, Shawn leading the pack like a true captain. A large portion of the girls (mostly puck bunnies or sorority girls or even some that just wanted some attention from the star himself) immediately crowded along Shawn and you could tell by the look on his face that he was enjoying every last second of it. His eyes scanned the crowd for a brief moment before landing on yours and you swore you could see his smile falter until it became even brighter than before. He excused himself from the hoard of girls as he headed your way, making your heart stop. Was he really coming to see you? What were you going to say? “Good job”? No, you don’t want to congratulate him, he was rude to you the other night. Don’t let him know how you couldn’t stop watching him the entire game, he doesn’t need another boost to his already huge ego. Is he gonna say something first? What if he…
“Hey man, how’d it look from the crowd?” Shawn asked as he bro-hugged Connor. Your heart dropped. Of course he was coming over here to talk to one of his best friends, why would you think he was coming for you? But you could’ve sworn the two of you had made eye contact. Were you really that stupid?
“Great as always, they were easy today anyways.”
“Yeah we went a little easy on them. Last time we absolutely creamed them and then I got threats from their team about how ‘we were gonna pay for embarrassing them like that,’” Shawn scoffed, “Like we were the ones who embarrassed them.” He turned his head, sending a bright smile your way before finally acknowledging you for the first time tonight, “I’ve never seen you at a game before, do you always leave right after it ends?”
You cleared your throat awkwardly, wondering if you should just lie or admit how antisocial you truly were, “No, um this is actually my first hockey game.” Ok, admitting how antisocial you are it is.
“Your first hockey game? What year are you?”
“I’m a junior…”
“You’re a junior and this is your first hockey game?”
“Oh calm down, it’s not that big of a deal,” Natalie chimed in, sensing your discomfort at the situation at hand.
“Wait, don’t tell me.” Shawn rubbed his forehead as if he was thinking before snapping his fingers in Natalie’s direction, “You must be Natalie, right? Y/n was telling me all about you the other night.”
“The other night?”
“Yeah, I walked her home after the party last week. She didn’t tell you?”
Her eyes went wide, looking in your direction with her mouth hanging open while you caved in on yourself, “No, she failed to mention that you were the one to walk her home.”
“Damn, you were that ashamed of me, eh?” Shawn let out a light chuckle before slinging an arm around you to pull you closer to him.
“Wasn’t exactly my proudest moment,” you mumbled, trying your hardest not to lean into his body that seemed so tempting. You didn’t know what body wash he used in his shower, the shower was evident by the slightly wet hair on his head that made him look absolutely breathtaking, but it was extremely inviting and you wanted nothing more than to snuggle your head into his chest and breathe it through your senses.
“Anyways, are you two coming to the party tonight?”
“I mean…” Natalie started, but you cut her off immediately.
“No, we’re heading back after this,” you gave a pointed look in her direction, “Right, Nat?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Oh come on, don’t be such a party pooper Y/n,” Shawn whined, ruffling your hair and laughing as you swatted his arm away.
“I’m not a party pooper, I’m just,” you stuttered for a second trying to find a decent excuse, “Just not quite dressed appropriately for a party, don’t you think?”
“Nonsense, I think you look great. But if it’s that big of a deal you can borrow my practice jersey and you’ll be all set.” Before you could protest Shawn was already reaching down into his duffle bag and producing a bright blue jersey with his name on the back. It was clear that this wasn’t just some jersey you’d buy in the school spirit shop, it looked as professional as it could, except the different design and tattered edges showed that it was made for practice.
“I’m not putting that on.”
“Why not? I promise it doesn’t smell and besides, don’t you want to let Nat have some fun?” He waved the jersey in front of you with a teasing smile on your face, causing you to roll your eyes before you snatched it out of his grip and pulled it over your sweatshirt. “That’s what I thought,” Shawn smirked as he put his arm back around your shoulders, “Now come on, I’ll drive, Y/n can be shot gun.” __________________________
No more than ten minutes later you were parked back at the same frat house you had been at the week prior and the mere thought of it made you sick. However, you didn’t know how much longer you could stay in Shawn’s jeep where he was stealing glances at you every five seconds and trying to annoy you in every way possible. He’d find every way possible to try and touch you in some way, whether it was a poke in the face or moving a strand of hair behind your ear, and constantly make comments that you wanted to laugh at, but wouldn’t be caught dead showing him that. So the second he parked you were already out of the car, breathing in a deep breath of clean air to make sure the scent of Shawn that was so heavy in his jeep would leave your senses. “Wow, was the drive that bad that you’re so eager to leave?”
You were praying with every ounce of your body that Shawn couldn’t see the blush on your face when he made eye contact on with you that teasing smile on his face, but the way Natalie snickered as she got out of the back of the jeep told you that she definitely knew. “No, I just get claustrophobic easily, that’s all.”
“Mhm.” Shawn looked at you, obviously not believing your excuse, but still motioning you towards the front door nonetheless. There was already a fair amount of people inside, at least enough to make you cringe at the thought of being there. Shawn had a light hold on your arm before leaning into your ear to make sure that you heard him, “I’m going to go get us some drinks. What do you want?”
“I don’t care, you can pick. Just please no shots of anything.”
“Ok, I’ll be back.”
Natalie and Connor were already god knows where, so you were left standing in the main foyer of the frat house, holding your arms around yourself while you looked around awkwardly, waiting for Shawn to return. You felt the familiar feeling of nervousness creeping up your throat and you forced yourself to focus on the smell of Shawn’s jersey and how warm it felt around you as a way to calm your rapid beating heart. He had only been gone a few minutes before someone else was approaching you, making your heart drop when you remembered what went down the last time you were here. “Hey, you wanna come dance with me?”
Hearing those words made you want to throw up, but you tried to keep your head up and your gaze unbothered while you prayed for Shawn to come back. “No thank you.”
“Well, can I go get you a drink then?”
“No, someone’s already…”
The feeling of an arm wrapping around you caused you to freeze until your nose caught onto the scent you had been unintentionally enjoying all night and you allowed yourself to relax into him. “I already got it for her. I think she’s all set, buddy.” The other guy got the hint quickly and backed away into the crowd until he was no more than a mere drop in a pool of people. “Damn, can’t even leave you alone for two seconds before you got some guy hitting on you,” Shawn laughed, but quickly stopped once he noticed the terrified look on your face. “Hey,” he placed a hand on your face to bring your eyes to his, “Did he touch you? Or hurt you?”
“No, no he didn’t, I’m still just a little shaken up from last time I guess,” you mumbled, bringing your gaze down to where your hands were engulfed in the fabric of your sweatshirt, “I’m sorry you have to keep saving me.”
“That’s understandable, it’s never a pleasant experience. And you never need to thank me, it’s just common decency.” You refused to meet his eyes again, but you heard his sigh before he gently grabbed your hand in his and handed you your drink. Your heart fluttered when he took your other hand in his grasp, the feeling of his rough calluses overwhelming your senses. “What do you say we go dance? Get your mind off of things for a little bit, let loose.”
“I don’t know Shawn, I’m not the greatest dancer…”
“You don’t have to be. I promise it will be fun.”
You knew there was a ninety-nine percent chance that you were going to embarrass yourself completely in front of him, but the way he was staring at you like it would break his heart if you said no made up your mind for you in a second. “Ok, let’s go.”
A wide smile broke out on Shawn’s face before he dragged you into the crowd, finding a spot he deemed fit for the two of you to dance in. It started out with just a simple step touch as you started to feel the rhythm of the music and allow yourself to relax as much as possible while sipping on the drink he got you. He tried to make small talk with you even over the loud music, resulting in him having to brush his lips against your ear as he spoke to you. Your heart fluttered with each movement and the alcohol you were consuming wasn’t making it any easier when he’d laugh at something you said, his bright brown eyes crinkling from his cheeks. As the night got longer and your cup became emptier, the distance between the two of you became smaller and smaller until your chest was pressed right against his. His free hand came up to naturally grasp your waist, but not in a way that made you uncomfortable. On the contrary, it made your stomach do flips that you couldn’t control even if you wanted to. His face was getting close, too close for your muddled brain to do anything rational about it. You didn’t know exactly what was put in the drink (it was delicious though and you knew he would tell you if you asked), but as a light weight you were definitely feeling the effects of it, so just as his nose touched the tip of yours you pulled away, muttering in his ear about how you had to use the bathroom before running off away from the crowd.
After winding through the halls of the house and passing multiple people making out against the walls, you finally reached the bathroom where you shut the door in a hurry, allowing yourself to take a deep breath as you leaned against the counter. Your eyes lifted up to stare at your reflection in the mirror, your brain struggling to process what had just happened. Was he going to kiss you? Was this his plan all along, to get you comfortable enough around him to have you wrapped around his finger? No, that couldn’t have been it. He was so easy to talk to and seemed genuinely interested in what you had to say and what you were doing. He wouldn’t do that just to get with you, would he? Your thoughts are interrupted by a series of knocks on the door, followed by a worried voice, “Y/n? Are you ok in there?”
“Yeah! I’ll, um, I’ll be right out!” You splashed some water onto your face in an effort to calm yourself down to a degree before opening the door to be met with Shawn’s concerned face.
“I’m sorry if I rushed you. You just ran out of there so quick I was worried something happened.”
Your heart swelled at how much he seemed to care about you and you willed the heat to leave your face, “No, I’m ok. I did feel a little crowded in there, but I’m ok now, thanks.”
“Yeah, of course. What do you say we go to the kitchen for a little bit to talk in there? It usually isn’t too crowded this far into the party.” You allowed him to take your hand and lead you into the kitchen where, like he said, was completely empty besides a few people every now and then that would come to refill their glass. Most of the alcohol had been moved into various places of the house so there was no fear of a bunch of hammered students coming in and ruining the place. There was a comforting silence between the two of you for a moment, the only sound being the music that could be heard from the main room as you both leaned against the counter next to one another. “I’m glad you came to the game tonight,” Shawn broke the silence, looking at you with a sincere look in his eye, “And thanks for letting me drag you to this party.”
“I don’t think I could’ve said no to the party, you’re pretty convincing,” you admitted, downing the last sip of your drink, “You were really good tonight, too. I never told you earlier, but I couldn’t stop watching you as you played. It’s obvious why you were chosen as captain.”
Shawn let out a nervous chuckle, his own cheeks showing a hint of pink to them, “Thanks, it means a lot. Do you want another drink?”
“No, I’m ok. I get drunk easily so I think I should stop before it gets worse.” You easily learned that you were an extremely honest drunk and if the words you were saying to Shawn were any indicator, you definitely shouldn’t drink anything more.
“That’s a shame, I have a feeling that you’re fun when you’re absolutely plastered.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Well, you’re already fun as it is, but it takes a while for you to open up. I think I’d get to see you at your fullest, you know what I mean? But that’s just off of my first couple impressions of you, so what do I know.” He finished off his statement by grabbing a beer from the fridge, returning to a spot much closer to you, so close that your shoulders were right up against one another. “Do I make you uncomfortable?”
“No, I’m very comfortable around you,” you whispered, eyes falling down to his smooth, red lips.
He caught the motion of your eyes and let his do the same, his face coming just that extra inch closer to yours, “Do you think it would be ok if…”
“Y/n! We’re going home!” Natalie came barging into the kitchen, grabbing your arm and dragging you to the door.
“What? What’s going on?” you asked her, trying to tug your arm away, but her grip was strong and she was dead set on ordering an uber to get out of here as soon as possible.
“I’ll tell you when we get back.”
Your heart dropped as you looked at Shawn who looked just as confused and saddened as you. “Bye Shawn, thanks for bringing us.”
“Wait,” he muttered to himself, running towards the door before Natalie could get you out of it, “Give me your phone really quick.”
“Why?”
“Just trust me.” You unlocked your phone for him and watched as he added his number into your messages, even including a silly picture of him as his contact photo that you knew you’d be laughing at later. “Text me when you’re back at your dorm, eh? Wanna make sure you get home safe.”
Looking into his eyes you saw a completely different man than the one you had yelled at on the first night you met. This one seemed vulnerable as he stared at you, as though he was putting himself bare in front of you and showing you the real him. You nodded your head, taking your phone from his hand before Natalie was pulling you towards the uber. “I promise I’ll text you.”
“Bye Y/n.” __________________________
“What was that for?!” you demanded, staring down your roommate as she fell onto her bed.
“Connor and I got into a fight.”
“I didn’t know the two of you were dating.”
“That’s the thing...we’re not.” She sighed, propping herself up against the wall, “See the thing is...we’re talking I guess, but it’s not exclusive. It’s more like a ‘talking’ so we can hook up if we want to sort of thing.”
“So what does that have to do with you dragging me out of the party.”
“Well I was making out with Tim…”
“Why were you making out with Tim?”
“Because he’s hot and I’m drunk so it was a great idea. That was until Connor saw and got all pissed because apparently I’m not allowed to do that, but he’s all over girls all the time still so I don’t see the big deal! And because I’m so drunk I was over fighting with him for the night and I’m mad so therefore we had to leave.”
“Great,” you muttered, “I was finally having a good time at a party and then you and your hook up had to mess it up.”
“Y/n, I’m sorry. I truly am. If there was a way to make it up to you I’d do it. But preferably when I’m sober.”
“It’s fine, it’s not that big of a deal anyways,” you mumbled before you began to change into some more comfortable clothes for the night. You noticed you were still wearing Shawn’s jersey that you would ultimately have to give him back for the game, but you couldn’t help but think that you could worry about getting it to him tomorrow and maybe that would be your chance to make up for the time you lost tonight. __________________________
The light streamed in through the window of your dorm and you groaned, pushing yourself out of bed to turn off your alarm. You sighed to yourself as you got yourself up and moving for the day, even going as far as making sure that Natalie was still alive and breathing after she came home late last night from a bar before grabbing your bag to head to class. You hated your 8am class, but it was the only slot available that worked with your schedule so you simply had to man up and accept your fate. You were about halfway to your class when you heard a distant voice call out to you and you whipped your head around to meet a smiling curly haired boy running your way. “Y/n, hey,” Shawn smiled at you after finally catching up to you, “Long time no see.”
“Hey, Shawn, how have you been?” You hadn’t seen him since you had dropped his practice jersey off at the doorstep of the frat a few weeks back, but you couldn’t lie and say a part of you was hoping that you’d run into him again.
“Good, miss seeing you at the hockey games though.”
His comment made you blush and you brought your gaze to the floor so he couldn’t see your heated cheeks. “I never really went before so I wasn’t exactly planning on going anytime soon again.”
“You didn’t have a good time?” he asked with a feigned offense, big puppy dog eyes on display as he walked next to you.
“I promise I did, I just prefer to stay in my dorm and study if we’re being honest.”
“I understand,” he nodded thoughtfully, “So where are you headed?”
“English Literature, how about you?”
“Calculus, which if we’re being honest here is not my strong suit. If I don’t get at least a B on this next test they could pull me from the game. I swear I’m not dumb, I just don’t get it I guess.”
“Well, I don’t know if it means anything to you, but I had an A in that class last semester. I could help you out if you want.”
“You’d do that for me?” he asked with wide eyes, bringing you both to a halt in front of your lecture hall. “Of course I would, when’s your test?”
“Next Tuesday, could we meet on Thursday after practice?”
“Sounds perfect. Just text me the time and place.”
“I owe you a bunch.” Shawn leaned in to press a kiss to the top of your temple that left your heart fluttering before making his way over to his own class. __________________________
Thursday felt like it would never come, but there you were sitting alone inside the library at eight thirty at night, waiting for Shawn to arrive from his practice. A million thoughts were swirling through your head the longer you waited and you desperately wished he would show up to give you a distraction from your mind. You were constantly worried that he wouldn’t show up, had planned on ditching you from the start as some kind of sick joke, but that fear was diminished when he stumbled through the doors. “I’m sorry I’m late,” he breathed out, “Practice went later than expected.” A series of students shushed him for being too loud, causing a sheepish expression to grace his face, “Sorry.”
He sat his bag down next to you, sliding in close enough that you would be able to see what the other was doing while still maintaining a safe distance. “Sooo,” you broke the silence as he got his books out, “What do you want to start with?”
The rest of the time was spent discussing Shawn’s upcoming test and explaining what each concept was to the best of your ability. You could tell that he was smart, he just needed a little bit of help, so he was very easy to work with. Besides how hard it was for you to concentrate around him that was. Whenever he leaned in to peer over your work a little more, your heart beat increased rapidly and you held your breath until he moved away again. You couldn’t tell if he was aware of your behaviors, but he seemed extremely unfazed, always dazzling you a bright smile after something made sense to him. It was adorable to you when his eyes would furrow a little bit while he was working and the proud glow on his face when he got a problem right.
Time seemed to go by quick with all the little jokes he was making and soon enough it was eleven at night and the library was beginning to close down. “Guess we should be heading out then,” Shawn laughed, “Unless you plan on sleeping in here tonight.”
“No, not exactly. Was kind of looking forward to my bed if I’m being honest.” A chuckle of your own escaped your lips as you packed up your bag alongside him.
“Did you drive here?”
“No, my car isn’t on campus. I just walked.”
“Well I hope you weren’t planning on walking back too.”
“What other choice do I have?”
Shawn raised an eyebrow at you, “Seriously? You’re going to ask that when I’m literally right here.”
“I’m not going to ask you to drive me home, Shawn.”
“Good thing you’re not asking me, I’m telling you. Now come on, my jeep is right out here.” You didn’t protest this time, knowing he wouldn’t back down from his offer, and instead followed him out to that black jeep you vividly remember from your last trip in it.
The ride back to your dorm was significantly quieter than what your previous encounters with Shawn had been besides the quiet music playing in the background. By the time he had pulled in front of your building, there were hardly any cars to be seen around and all of the students were already inside. Shawn turned his body to face you, “Thanks for the help tonight, I really appreciate it.”
“My pleasure. Good luck on your test next week, I know you’ll do great, but you can still text me if you want to meet up again.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” He gave you a kind smile when you thanked him for the ride before you opened the door to the brisk night air. “Y/n wait…”
“What?”
“I know you’re not really into parties but…,” his words trailed off as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “There’s this movie night thing at the frat Saturday night and all of the guys are expected to bring a date. Do you maybe wanna come with me?”
You looked at him with wide eyes, “You want me to be your date?”
“Yeah, if you want to be.” Even in the darkness you could see the way his cheeks reddened and he failed to look you in the eye.
“I’d love to go,” you told him truthfully and you couldn’t help but smile with him when his face lit up at your words.
“Really?! That’s, that’s great! You’re supposed to wear your pajamas by the way so I hope that’s ok with you.”
“Perfectly fine with me. Just text me the time later.”
“I will. Bye, Y/n.”
“Bye, Shawn.” He watched you walk into your building with a giddy smile on his face before he drove back to his frat for a sleep that he hoped included dreams of you. __________________________
“What are you getting all dolled up for?”
You look over from where you’re doing your hair to see Natalie laying on her bed staring at you with curious eyes. “I’m going to movie night with Shawn.”
“You’re going to movie night with Shawn?!” Natalie exclaimed, her eyes practically bursting out of her head.
“Yeah, he asked me to go with him as his date.” You tried to keep your calm in front of her and not show how excited you truly were, but your smile was fighting to break free on your face.
“Is he picking you up?”
“No, I’m probably just going to walk or maybe get an uber.”
“Walk? Honey, no. Connor is picking me up, I’ll just text him and ask if he can drive you, too.”
“You don’t need to do that…”
“Nonsense, there’s no reason for you to walk when I’m literally driving to the same place.” Natalie quickly grabbed her phone to text something to Connor before getting up out of bed to walk over and fluff your finally curled hair.
“What’s going on with you and Connor anyways?”
“Oh, we’re just friends with benefits for now,” Natalie said dreamly, her hands separating your curls to make them more natural as she spoke, “But we decided that we’re going to be exclusive. No more arguments about that I guess.” You nodded your head thoughtfully, carefully examining your appearance in the mirror. “Why are you getting ready so early? We don’t have to leave for another two hours.”
“I know, but I thought you’d have to use the curler and mirror, too, so I figured I’d get done early so you could have enough room to do everything.”
“You’re the sweetest ever,” she told you, kissing the top of your head making you scrunch your nose. “Do you want me to do your makeup for you?”
“I’m not sure, I just want to do something natural.” You examined your face with much criticism, trying to decide what you wanted to do to hopefully make you look more appealing to Shawn. You didn’t just think that did you? You’re not really trying to impress Shawn tonight, right? The butterflies in your stomach told you otherwise and you cursed yourself for the thoughts that were taking over your head.
“I can do that,” Nat responded quickly, “Easy. Now what I’m concerned about is what you’re wearing tonight.”
“I was planning on wearing some sweatpants and a tank top or maybe one of my patching pajama tops and bottoms. I wasn’t sure yet.”
“See this is where we’re going to have an issue. Don’t you want to wear something a bit more revealing? Want to impress Shawn a little bit? I have a slip you can borrow if you want or…”
“No, I’m all set, I just want to be comfortable. I appreciate the concern, but you know it’s not me to wear something like that out in public. It makes me uneasy.”
“I know, I know. Let’s just focus on getting your makeup looking absolutely perfect just like you.” __________________________
Connor pulled up to the frat house before unlocking the car door for you and slinging an arm around Natalie’s seat to look back at you, “Why don’t you go in and meet up with Shawn, we’ll be in in one second.” You gave him a forced smile and a small thank you as Natalie giggled and you rolled your eyes the second you got out, happy to finally be away from their never ending teasing of one another. You made your way up to the door of the frat and knocked loud enough to be heard, transferring your weight back and forth out of nervousness. The door opened not long after revealing your date for the night looking as cozy as ever in a pair of grey sweatpants and a cotton white t-shirt. His eyes subtly looked you up and down with a smile on his face. “Hi.”
“Hi,” you breathed out, letting yourself admire him the way he was you.
“You look beautiful.”
“Thank you, you look extremely comfy and nice as well.”
“Why thank you, I like the plaid.” You looked down at your plaid sleep pants and tighter fitted grey long sleeve you had on top, your cheeks blushing red at his comment.
“I know I probably am not dressed up like a lot of the other girls, but I just wanted to be comfortable…”
“Stop it, I think you look amazing. Now come inside, I already have a spot for us.” You followed him through the frat house until you came into the kitchen that looked a little different now that it wasn’t filled to the brim with alcohol. “Do you want any hot chocolate? Or tea?”
“I’ll have hot chocolate please.”
“Good choice, good choice,” he chuckled, pouring some of the boiling water into two mugs. “You know, I’m kinda surprised Natalie didn’t force you to wear some form of lingerie like a lot of the girls are.”
“She tried to convince me to, but I didn’t want to. I’m just as surprised as you are though that she let me get away with this.”
“Well, I think it’s better that you came here comfortable rather than wearing any of that.” He handed you your cup, warning you of how hot it was. “Speaking of Natalie, where are her and Connor?”
“Still in the car, they kicked me out right when we got here.”
“Typical,” Shawn snorted before making his way into the living room with you trailing behind him. The room was already about half the way full with couples, if you could even call them that, and the room had a much cozier vibe than what you had previously seen it as. There were blankets everywhere and snacks piled up onto all of the tables. There were a few guys and girls that were obviously not too interested in their date and were mingling with other people instead and some that were extremely interested in their date to the point where it was almost obnoxious. “I got us the seat in the corner by the table. You can put your mug there if you want and those blankets that are there are ours, too. I’m just going to run to the bathroom quickly so you can wait there until I come back or you can go somewhere else.” He kissed your cheek lightly, leaving you with a heated face before he left you alone in the room. You swore you could feel the hard stares of the breathtaking girls around you and you sank yourself down into the couch, desperately wishing Shawn hadn’t left you here by yourself.
You sat there for almost ten minutes before you had decided that you were finished being the target for the judgemental looks and whispers from those around you, peeling yourself out of your spot before heading towards what you were praying was the bathrooms in hopes of running into Shawn on the way. Just as you rounded the corner you could faintly make out a female voice and you snuck your head around only to be met with a sight that made your heart drop. There she was, the drop dead gorgeous head cheerleader you knew had been in Shawn’s sheets multiple times before, with her hand on your date’s chest, that mischievous glint in her eyes that was laced with lust. Shawn’s hands were wrapped around her wrists and although you couldn’t hear their words, you couldn’t help but feel betrayed at the whole situation. Here you are, being made a fool of in front of all of these people who have always seemed to despise you from the start. You finally started letting your guard down for Shawn and what do you get in return? A stabbing pain in your heart. Tears began prickling in your eyes before you turned straight on your heels to head out of the frat without a second thought in your mind.
Just as you were about to reach the door, it opened for you, Natalie and Connor entering with giddy smiles on their faces. But at the sight of you, Natalie’s smile dropped, “Hun, what happened?”
“Nothing, I think I might head out.”
“What?” She made a signal to Connor so that he’d leave the two of you alone and he agreed, whispering something in her ear before moving past you. “Ok, now tell me what happened. You were so happy about coming tonight!” With tears threatening to fall down your face, you told her exactly what you saw from the moment you stepped into the house and before you knew it, you were encased in her arms, her hands rubbing comforting circles on your back. “I’m so sorry, baby. He doesn’t deserve you if he’s going to let her get away with that.”
“Am I stupid to be so affected by this?”
“No, that was a dick move on his part and you are allowed to feel upset about it. What we’re not going to do though is leave, you hear me? Two can play at this game.”
“What do you mean?”
“I meannn, let’s give him a taste of his own medicine. Come on, follow me.” She wiped underneath your eyes before leading you back into the living room towards the couch on the opposite side. Two guys you recognized from the frat were sitting there alone and when you noticed Natalie walking over to them confidently, your heart stopped.
“Nat, what are we doing?”
“Just trust me on this...Hey guys!” The two guys looked up at the sound of her voice, a heavy smirk on both of their lips. “You got any extra room for a little bit?”
“Be my guest,” the blonde one responded and Natalie wasted no time in pushing you to sit next to them.
You stumbled slightly onto the couch, but recovered quickly, sending a light wave to the guys, “Hi.”
They both greeted you back with a smile, leaving Natalie to be quite satisfied as she whispered in your ear, “Be back soon,” and then she was gone.
You weren’t close enough to the guys that it would be considered dangerous to you, but you were definitely closer than you would usually be with some strangers that you had literally just met. The conversation flowed easily between the three of you, not as easily as it did between you and Shawn though, and you found yourself constantly glancing towards the entryway in case he decided to make an appearance. Just as one of the frat members announced that the movie was starting in five minutes Shawn made his way into the living room, his eyes spotting you immediately. You could see his jaw clench from the corner of your eye and the way his eyes hardened was not easy to miss. This only made you up the antics a little more, with a hand moving to the shoulder of the guy closest to you before the sound of your name being called from across the room caught your attention, as well as everyone else’s in the room. You looked over to see Shawn staring at you coldly, his head nodding at the seat he had for you as a signal for you to come back. “Thanks for the seat boys, but I better be heading back,” you told them with a cheeky smile that they returned to you before heading over towards Shawn. You could feel the strong gaze of the other couples and you desperately wished that you could curl in on yourself and disappear. Once you were close enough to him he pulled you down harshly into his lap, wrapping his arms around you and whispering in your ear, “What the hell were you doing over there?”
You wriggled out of his arms, but still laid next to him, allowing him to bring the blanket up and over you with his arm around you. “I was making some new friends to keep me company since you were so busy with Vanessa when you were supposed to be just using the bathroom.”
“Fuck,” he said under his breath, “Listen, I don’t know what you saw, but…”
“I don’t want to hear it Shawn, I just want to watch the movie and leave.”
“No, I want you to listen to me because I can see how you might have taken this the wrong way.”
“Was there a right way to take it?” you whispered back angrily, feeling his arm tighten around you so that he could bring his mouth closer to your ear.
“Not from your point of view, but I swear I didn't mean to hurt you. I haven’t been answering her texts for the last two months and threatened to block her last week and she was all butthurt about it, saying that she wanted things to go back to when she could call me for a booty call whenever she felt like it. And I don’t want that anymore. I’ve got my eye on someone right now and I wouldn’t mess up my chance with her like that.”
“If you have your eye on someone then why didn’t you bring her tonight?”
“I did.” You looked up at him as the lights were turned off and you caught a glimpse of his eyes before he was facing the screen and pulling you closer to his chest. You snuggled into him and wrapped your arm around his body too, leaving the both of you with graceful smiles on your faces. __________________________
Of course the guys had picked a scary movie for the night, causing you to squeeze Shawn a little tighter at every jump scare. He didn’t mind though, it only gave him an excuse to pull you closer to him and press light, comforting kisses into your hair. Somewhere between the halfway point of the movie when you tucked your head into Shawn’s chest at a particularly frightening scene and the end of the movie, you found yourself dozing off, eventually falling into a light slumber cuddled up against him. The even beating of his heart lulled you to sleep until you felt him shaking you softly, whispering your name into your ear. “Hey, the movie’s over.”
“Oh,” you sat up and tried to comb back your slightly messed up hair, seeing the other couples retreat to their respective rooms, “I’m sorry I fell asleep.”
“Don’t be, you look cute when you’re comfy.” His words caused your cheeks to heat up and you situated yourself to try and hide your face from him. “Are you ready to go back to sleep?”
“Yeah, I should probably head out.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m ready to fall back asleep...which means that I need to go home so I can go to sleep in my bed.” You looked back at him with furrowed brows that matched his.
“Y/n, it’s two in the morning, why don’t you just stay here. No one else is leaving.”
“You don’t have a spare room though…”
“You can sleep in my room, I’ll sleep on the floor if you feel too uncomfortable.”
“No Shawn, I’m not kicking you out of your own bed. If you’re so adamant about me staying then we might as well share it.”
“Are you sure you’re ok with that?”
“I’m a big girl, Shawn, I think I can handle sleeping in a bed with you for one night.”
Shawn let out a laugh that was music to your ears before extending a hand to you that you gladly accepted. His hand engulfed yours perfectly and you stumbled as he pulled you up off the couch because you were too busy trying to memorize the feeling of his hand in yours. “Careful there, honey,” his sweet voice drawed out, “You’re even more tired than I thought. Can hardly stand on two feet.” He escorted you hand in hand to his bedroom, which was much cleaner than you would have imagined. There were a couple guitars on stands, a piano in the corner, some hockey gear half stuffed into a bag on the floor, all things that perfectly described Shawn to you. He slid into his bed, adjusting himself under the covers before looking at you with a boyish grin and beckoning you towards him. You sat down next to him, playing with your hands awkwardly. “You ok?” You nodded your head. “I can put up a pillow barrier if you want, I have to admit I tend to be a cuddler.”
You giggled, imagining you waking up to find him snuggled up against a pillow between the two of you. “It’s ok, I don’t think we need a pillow barrier.”
“Suit yourself.” He turned off the light, getting even more comfortable in his bed and turning towards the wall. “Goodnight, Y/n.”
“Goodnight, Shawn.” __________________________
The deep scent of oak and cinnamon should have woken you up. The heavy weight slung across your stomach should have woken you up. The unusual heat that was spreading across your back should have woken you up. But instead, they all just kept you in a peaceful slumber as the morning light streamed in through the window.
Shawn was the first to awake. Breathing in your comforting scent, he squeezed you a little tighter, not quite realizing what he was doing. The moment you pushed back into him in an effort to get impossibly closer to him his senses became wide awake, suddenly making him on high alert to how close you were to him. He couldn’t imagine how you’d feel if you woke up to find the two of you like this, but when he tried to untangle himself from you and you subconsciously gripped his arm tighter, pulling him back to you, he gave up the fight and let himself get lost in the moment. Against his better judgment he placed his lips to your hair, leaving feathery kisses in their wake. Your body began to move slowly as you came to a consciousness, but Shawn continued to kiss down your neck until he finished with a soft one on your shoulder. “Good morning,” he rasped, looking at you through his lashes.
“Good morning.” The second you came to a full realization of what was happening your body froze, not quite able to process the exact situation. The immense heat that was radiating off of him was too soothing for you to resist though and soon your body fell slack against his just as it was while you were asleep.
“How’d you sleep?” Shawn asked, tracing his finger across your cheek bone.
“Like a baby.”
“Good to hear.” His stomach rumbled, making a laugh escape out of him, “And that is good to hear too, I guess. You want to go get some breakfast.”
Deep inside you wanted to say no and selfishly keep him close to you all morning long, “That sounds perfect.”
Your body became cold the second he left your side and you shivered slightly from the temperature change. “You ok?”
“Yeah I’m fine,” you lied, grabbing his hand to help you out of bed. He pulled your body close to his, looking at you deeply with those gorgeous brown eyes of his.
“Were you uncomfortable this morning?”
“No,” you stuttered, feeling small as he towered over you even if you didn’t find him intimidating, if anything the words coming out of his mouth were more intimidating than him.
“Why not?”
His body came closer to you with each word until you were backed up against the wall, his chest pressing against yours. “What?”
“I asked you why you weren’t uncomfortable.” His face was so close to you that you could see every last detail of his skin, including a scar on his cheek that you didn’t happen to notice before, but made him look all the more endearing to you.
“Because I trust you.”
“Is that all?”
“Yes.”
You could tell by the way that his eyebrow quirked up that he didn’t believe your wavering voice, “Are you telling me the truth? Because I want to know if you feel the same way about me that I do.”
“What do you mean?”
“I thought I made it quite obvious,” he chuckled, “I really, really like you, Y/n. I was hoping maybe this morning was a sign that you felt the same way…”
“It was,” you breathed out quickly, not wanting this moment to fade away. “I like you too, Shawn.”
His lips fanned over yours and your breath hitched in your throat, desperately waiting for him to move the final inch. “I’m not going to kiss you,” he told you, watching the light in your eyes dim and cast down to the ground, “Hey, look at me.” Shawn grabbed your chin gently, pulling your eyes back up to his, “It’s not because I don’t want to, it’s because it feels wrong to do it without going on a date first. You understand?” You nodded your head sadly, making him let out a quiet laugh, “But I would like to take you out on a date if you’d let me.”
“I’d love to go on a date with you.”
“Perfect,” he leaned in to kiss the tip of your nose, “Now let’s go down and eat breakfast. I’m absolutely starving.” __________________________
Are you free Tuesday night? Sorry, I just couldn’t wait to ask you
The message came through the second you stepped through the door to your dorm room. Natalie and Connor had woken up later than you and Shawn, so Shawn had offered to drive you home instead. You looked out your small window that happened to be facing the street and were met with his jeep still parked next to the curb. His eyes met yours causing the two of you to smile and you could practically hear his laugh from three floors up.
I’m free all night
Perfect, see you then I’ll pick you up x
Can’t wait x __________________________
The rest of the weekend seemed to drag on until your classes came again on Monday to distract your mind from the next day. It didn’t help that you and Shawn were texting almost every second of the day since you two had parted, only adding to your anticipation.
After seeming as though it would never arrive, Tuesday night came upon you, bringing you back to the same chair this all started with. Natalie was over the moon when you told her about your date, immediately wanting to know everything about it and what outfit you were planning on wearing. She had you propped up in what she called her “makeup chair” making sure your makeup and hair were the best they had ever looked. You had chosen a simple sweater and leggings, hoping that you looked nice enough while still managing to stay warm and comfortable. Shawn hadn’t told you where you were going yet, stating that it had to be kept a surprise, so you worked with what you had in order to have an appropriate outfit.
At six o’clock sharp Shawn was waiting outside, leaning against his jeep on his phone was a bouquet of flowers in one hand. His eyes flickered to the door anytime he heard a noise, but at the sight of you he stood up straight, hands pocketing his phone before he was headed straight towards you. “Hey, you look beautiful.”
“And you look as handsome as always.”
A blush formed on his cheeks at your words and he handed you the flowers bashfully, ducking his head down to avoid your gaze. “These are for you.”
“They’re gorgeous, thank you.” He sent you a bright smile as he took your hand to lead you around the car, opening the door for you to slide inside.
“Will you tell me where we’re going now?” you asked as soon as he slid into the driver's seat.
“Not yet, gotta keep the suspense up,” he teased, his hand coming up to lace his fingers with yours on the center console. “I hope you’re hungry though.”
“If we’re being honest I’m always hungry.”
“Then this is going to work out great.” The ride was short and before you knew it you were turning into a parking lot of a small old-fashioned diner a few minutes off of campus. Shawn parked the car, running around the jeep quickly to open the door for you. You smiled at his kind gesture and took his outstretched hand for you to walk inside together.
The two of you were sat inside of a booth across from each other as you scanned the menus. Shawn hardly looked at his before he was nodding his head and leaning back in his seat to look at you, “Got any idea of what you’re getting?”
“Um, not really. Have you been here before?”
“More times than I can remember. I usually go here after practice late at night because it’s open until like three in the morning.”
“Any suggestions?”
“Well I always get the cheeseburger with no tomato, a chocolate milkshake, and extra fries…”
“Extra fries? You eat that many fries?”
Shawn laughed, a wide smile forming on his face, “Most of the time yes, but if I don’t I just bring them back to the frat house. They’re always gone a couple seconds after I set them down.”
“Hmm, I can't decide if I want a chocolate shake like you or an oreo one. What do you think?”
“I think you should get an oreo one and then we can share them both.” You looked over your menu at him with a small smile, watching his eyes light up as he returned your expression.
“Then that’s what I’ll do.” The waitress came over and you ordered the same thing as Shawn, except with tomatoes, different shake, and of course, no extra fries. Once your milkshakes came out, he requested two extra straws, winking at you as he slid them in.
“So,” he began, sipping on his chocolate milkshake, “Do you think you’re going to come to more hockey games this season?”
“I’m not sure, I guess I’d need a good reason to go,” you smirked at him, taking a sip of yours as well.
“I’m pretty sure I could give you a good reason.” He looked around to make sure no one was looking, but fortunately you two were the only ones in there besides another couple on the other side. Shawn grabbed your hand and leaned forward, his nose brushing against yours. Your heart started beating faster until his lips were right against yours, but you faltered when he froze. The look in his eyes was pleading with you to let him continue so you took control instead, closing the small gap between the two of you. His free hand cradled your cheek as his lips moved with yours, keeping you close to him. It was short and innocent, but it was enough to leave your head spinning and heart pounding. Your lips chased his once he moved back, desperately wanting to feel the softness of them on yours once again, causing him to laugh with a smile before giving you a peck to satisfy you. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”
“I doubt it was that long,” you mumbled, eyes focusing on where his thumb was rubbing the top of your hand.
“What makes you say that?”
“No guy has ever really been into me before.”
“I think that’s a lie. Besides, I’ve wanted that since the moment I laid eyes on you.”
“Really?”
“Mhm.” He brought your hand to his lips to leave a lingering kiss on it, “You would’ve noticed if your head wasn’t stuck in a book.”
“Didn’t know it was bad to try to be at the top of my class.”
“It isn’t. I think it’s great that you’re at the top of the class list. Now you’re on the top of two lists.”
“Two lists?” you asked, watching as he smiled and leaned forward to try to steal another kiss.
“Yeah, the school’s and mine.”
844 notes · View notes
riofann · 3 years ago
Text
Redemption Ch. 5
Redemption Ch. 4 
“Soooo what do you think of Y/N” Angel asks EZ the next day as they sat in his RV
EZ shrugged “she’s cool I guess, conversation was boring” “What did you talk about?” He shrugged again “Surface level shit” “What’s wrong with that?” 
“It’s boring” “EZ hermano, I love you but you’re being a bit ridiculous you want her to start discussing philosophy when you two just started talking?” “Gabby and I did” Angel sighs shaking his head “What?” 
“Nothing” “Say what’s on your mind!” 
Angel pauses noticing his brother getting angry “Look I get it, Gabby was the one that got away, the love of your life, but you can’t go judging every new girl based off of her” “I’m not” “You are and you know it. I just don’t want you doing what I did. Searching for the woman you lost in every other girl that passes your way. You’ll end up like me old with a baby mama who skipped town the first chance she got because you were too busy trying to replace something that can���t be replaced.”
EZ sighed looking up 
“I know you think you’re smarter than me...”
“I am!” EZ interrupted 
Angel chuckled “even if you are, if you don’t deal with your feelings with Gabby you will end up like me. Shit if Y/N was Vicki’s girls I wouldn’t even be saying anything but she’s not! She got a good job, smart, and family oriented. What more do you want hermano?” “I don’t know” “Do Pop a favor please, I can’t spend another hour on the phone hearing him talk about how much he’s worried about you and how much I need to push you out there even though I tell him I try and you shut down on everyone.” EZ looked at Angel and nodded “just give it a try and if things don’t work out hey blame me!” 
The sentiments Angel shared last with EZ for a while. Every time he picked up the phone to text you or call you he stopped. The last text you two shared was from the party weeks ago. Today he was going to see you. Camila was throwing a small get together at her house. Coco, Pedro, Creeper, Gilly, and a few other guys. A few of Vicki’s girls would be there not as working girls but as friends. Of course you and Asher.  You were already there when the crowd slowly trickled in. 
You briefly greet EZ as he settles into his chair outside, you go to sit next to Asher as you watch the crowd interact. Camila had been spending a lot of time with Coco so she was already in on the jokes and digs. You smile glad to see her happy, both of you had come from rough backgrounds and you were glad not only her and Coco were getting along but Leticia as well. 
“So your boo is here” Asher teases whispering to you
“So is yours” You comment back, causing him to blush. One of the guys had taken a liking to Asher and you knew who it was but were sworn to secrecy by Asher. 
“Anyway, you think Camila made the potato salad?” You erupt in laughter “what?” “Well you know last time she put too much relish and that was a disaster” “She said she didn’t go off script this time” “Good cuz now I’m hungry” 
You were all waiting for Pedro to be done with the grill before you started eating. 20 more minutes pass before Pedro announces that food is ready. You linger in the back waiting for the crowd to dissipate. You weren’t really paying attention so it catches you by surprise when EZ is next to you picking through food. 
“So how’s life been?” You shrug “same, cakes, stab wounds, cupcakes, heart attack” EZ chuckled “you?” 
“Same” 
You nod as you pick up more items 
“Don’t eat the potato salad!” you hear Camila yell before removing the dish from the table 
“Now Cami we talked about this!” Asher complains
“I know, I don’t know what happened!” Asher waves his hand in the air “You are banned from making potato salad from here on out” “Hey I deserve one more try” You and EZ laugh watching the exchange.
As the day progresses into the night you and EZ somehow end up sitting next to each other. You two had something in common, you liked to people watch and now you were watching as a few of the girls and guys danced. 
“You should be up there!” he notions with his hand 
“Oh no!” He giggles thinking about dancing in front of people You smile at him “You should though!”  
“I have 2 left feet!” 
“So you say” You tease 
“So why’d you come back to Santo Padre?” 
You take in a deep breath “My mom always wanted to come back, she wanted to retire here, open up her bakery and just live the simple life” 
“Why would she want to come back here?” You shrug “It was home for her” EZ scoffs, he can’t stop the bitter feeling bubbling up “this is a dead town she could have gone anywhere else, hell you could have too” You turn to look at him, noticing the sudden change in his mood. You choose your words carefully “I could have, she could have but, Santo Padre isn’t a dead town” you hear him scoff “What you’re saying is that everyone who lives here is a ghost and I don’t believe that, do you think Valentina is a ghost?” EZ turns to look at you “EZ this town has life, a lot of it, sometimes it’s hard to see the beauty in things when it's always a thick fog, but you have to be willing to wade through that fog to get to the other side. You have to wade through the fog EZ” you sigh at the end. He turns to face the crew again not saying anything “but” he turns to look at you “What do I know I’m an old divorced hag, might not be the best person to get motivation from” you shoot him a sympathetic smile. You stand up “I gotta go to work, see you later EZ” your shift was in an hour and you needed to get ready, but also you felt those painful emotions coming to the surface and you didn’t want him or anyone else there to see you get emotional over a silly statement EZ made up.
Redemption Ch. 6
17 notes · View notes
kyanmapng · 4 years ago
Text
han seojun boyfriend headcanons.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
listen to first time by every single day.
˗ˋˏ author’s note ˎˊ˗
tried to make it reader-inserty and not state any genders, i might’ve slipped somewhere let me know. i got little carried away but i got so many headcanons i might just add to this later. 
lives to tease, oh you are eating? sauce all over your face? lemme take this pic of you real quick and set it as my lockscreen 
‘this reminded me of you’ texts on daily, ranging from the sweetest to embarrassing and teasing but always followed with “i love you” and you can bet he smiles like the idiot in love he is
if he finds you crying he goes from “I’m sorry” to “who do i need to beat up” and back to “i’m sorry” and just wipes the tears off your face, gives you tissues and kisses your forehead once u calm down
brags about his s/o to the point where his friends wish he will just shut up cuz they can see how whipped he is 
#1 hypeman, if his s/o plays sports or anything where he can cheer for them he will be the loudest and most obnoxious person there, people will be giving him the stink eye left and right but he has tunnel vision on his s/o (tho if his s/o points it out to him he will get secondhand embarrassment from himself) might also get banned for his loud ass just to sneak in anyway
spaces out when listening to his s/o talking and just looking at them being excited (might or might not stare at their lips embarrassingly long until they notice) but he gets the kiss in the end so it’s worth it
likes to pick out clothes for his s/o, actually enjoys waiting for them to change and show him the look in the shop, it makes his heart skip a beat when they open the curtain and if they think it’s not good he will praise the hell out of them (“what do you mean? if any model agency saw u they would snatch you up!”)
notices everything, if something catches your eye even for a second, he notices and notes it down in his brain for anniversaries or bdays
on that note, if you change your hairstyle or accessories even a little bit he notices (“oh your hair looks great. i mean it looks great all the time, not like it was bad before...ugh… you get it.”) 
if you’re supposed to meet somewhere and you call that you might be little late cuz of traffic or something he asks where you are and says he’ll be there instead of waiting for you 
both nags at you for being sick and babies you until you want to kick him out (“how did you get cold in summer? are you a child?”/ ”why are you out of bed! you are supposed to be resting!”)
feeds you when you’re sick and thoroughly enjoys it, gets pouty when he realizes he can’t get kisses (still steals some while telling you he never gets sick just to get sick right after you) 
huffs if you ask him to sing you to sleep but does it anyway, pleased that you want to hear him (“guess you can’t get enough of this voice. it’s understandable.” *gets whacked by a pillow*)
because you are so comfortable around each other people sometimes think you must be bffs and try to flirt with you or get your number and Seojun is so offended like excuse me? i am right here? 
takes you to see fireworks just to stare at you the whole time instead of actually watching them, definitely gets caught and he hopes it’s dark enough so his red ears and cheeks won’t be visible (they totally are) 
loves watching you with his family, him seeing you laugh with his mom and helping her with cooking and then watching you gang up on him with Gowoon, his heart is so full (but if they pull out the photo album he is gone - not really cuz he wants to see your reaction more than he wants to avoid this misery)
211 notes · View notes
ratsoh-writes · 4 years ago
Note
US, SF(P), FS(R), HT, and HF!
He gets a weird text from his best friend/crush’s number. MySquishy: Hey, this is (name)’s coworker. I just dropped her off at home cuz I gotta pick up my little siblings but idk if she should be left alone. She got hungry and asked if she could raid my locker. I said yeah, but i forgot to warn her and she found my stash. I didn’t notice until she was 4 cookies in and she’s pretty out of it right now. She said I could text you. I am so so sorry. When he goes to her apartment, he finds her laying on the coffee table but when she sees him her expression gets all wobbly and she beckons him fourth with her infamous grabby hands. When he goes over to her, she latches onto him like a lifeline and starts crying about how much she loves him and how he’s her favorite skeleton in the whole world, and also she feels like the world is caving in on itself, and he's sexy, and she can't remember anything before the last two words she said. Doesn’t seem like she’s letting go anytime soon,,, (I know Swapell is a questionable choice but I want to know how Cash would handle it if his S/O didn't purposely get high and instead this is her first time stoned and she's bordering on the edge of a bad trip)
Star: ok first of all, bringing edibles to work isn’t exactly the smartest thing to do, so when coworker drops crush off, Star levels them with the stern *I know you’re doing something stupid but am letting you off with a warning* police expression. After they sheepishly leave, Star just sighs and does his best to keep crush distracted. You’d be surprised about how many high people he’s tracked down and found on the job. Star is pretty good at talking them down
Honey: he feels for crush right now because he’s been through the same situation before lol. When honey was 16, he thought it’d be a great idea to experiment and managed to nick some monster cannabis. He was trying to figure out the best way to smoke it when he heard his brother come home, so naturally honey panicked and he ATE THE WHOLE BAG so Star wouldn’t find it. Needless to say he was tripping for two whole days and never touched the stuff again. Anyways, going back to crush, honey knows what it’s like to have a bad trip and won’t hold anything they say against them. He figures it’s just the brownies talking
Mal: he’s mad, but not at crush, at coworker. Like mal is hopping mad, and if he wasn’t taking care of crush right now, he would’ve gone over and ripped coworker a new one. Luckily for the worker, crush takes the whole night to come down from their high which gives mal plenty of time to cool off
Cash: he’s both grateful and sad to learn that his crush is an affectionate high. Cash is fine cuddling with them the whole night, but winds up taking them home with him so that he at least knows his brother is around too. Cash would’ve been fine just being with crush, but he feels more secure knowing someone sound of mind is there to talk him out of any stupid decisions
Lord: oh eff his life. This is is crush, not SO, so lord is still in the no touchy stage. Basically meaning, after a couple of attempts from crush for hugging him, lord will dump them on mutt and go hide somewhere coward
Mutt: he totally takes advantage of this and has crush saying all kinds of silly things while he records. Mutt will also have them stay the night and lends them one of his old shirts as pajamas. He can’t wait to see the embarrassed flush on his crush’s face when they wake up in his bed. Nothing happened, he’s just a sadist
Oak: lol what? Well he has coworker drop crush off at his place first. And if cuddles makes them shut up and stay happy, then oak figures he might as well have a movie night
Willow: he winds up stressing crush out with all his fretting and nerves over their high. Oak ends up banning willow from work and basically forcing him to relax for the night with crush. Now crush is snuggled against their dream man out cold, willow is internally screaming, and oak is a smug b*stard
Rust: he’ll be a bit embarrassed from all of crush’s attention, but otherwise takes it like a champ. Working with emotional kids has made rust pretty good at comforting crying people.
Noir: oh stars, he’ll do anything if they’ll JUST STOP CRYING. Pride prevents noir from running to rust for help. So poor noir will have a huge wet spot on his shirt by the time crush finally tires themself out. Noir doesn’t even care about what they were saying. He says wired stuff when he’s drunk too. It’s not a big deal
99 notes · View notes
maybe-your-left · 4 years ago
Note
BITCH I AM DEMANDING A FLUFFY PART TWO TO KYLO FORGETTING OUR DATE OKAY?!
I WANT SWEET AND NASTY MAKEUP SEX
HAHAHHA YESSSSS. here is part one of Kylo forgetting our anniversary.
Tumblr media
“Hey.”
You sighed into the phone, slumped on the cool leather couch. The TV blaring before you, but you didn’t listen to what was on. It had been two weeks since you kicked Kylo out, the only communication shared were clipped texts and stale ‘Hi’s’ and ‘Byes’ when he needed to pick up clean clothes.
“Hi.”
Kylo took in a slow breath, you could practically feel the air hit your face. So close, yet so far, “Are you gonna be home today?”
“Yup.”
“Cool, I’ll be there at 12 during lunch. I have some shit to grab.”
You bit back sniffling, “Okay,” your voice cracked. “I’ll be here.”
———
You scrolled through your emails, waiting at the kitchen counter for him to show up. You'd applied for some jobs a few days ago if this was really the end of you two. You needed a job, there was no way you could afford living in the penthouse and at some point, Kylo would want it back.
It was in his name anyway, the only thing you really owned without his help was your laptop.
Fingers crossed you'd find something, you haven't worked in almost five years. You didn't need to with Kylo, and he urged you to not work. He wanted to take care of you, provide for you, help you in any way he could. But now, you were left high and dry, not even a single bank account in your name.
You swallowed back another round of tears, no.
No more tears, you'd get through this. You had family who would help, friends that supported you and wanted you to be happy. Even his mom, not that you'd stoop that low, was willing to help you.
It would be better to just cut all ties to him since there was a slim chance he would want to be back together.
You still weren't sure, you missed him. Terribly, barely sleeping because his presence was gone. Jumping towards your phone whenever it rang, hoping it was him on the other side calling to make it up to you.
But the man was stubborn, angry that you kicked him out.
Claiming that his accusations were valid, which wounded you further.
A light knock on the door drew you away from your wallowing, you took a shaky breath before whispering a faint, "it's open."
Kylo walked in slowly, dressed in his work clothes. A button-up, white, with his suit jacket and tight dress pants. His hair was getting longer, the harsh lighting of the kitchen showed a sheen of grease coating it.
And the bags, the bags under his eyes were darker than normal.
A part of you was smug over his appearance.
But the rest of you ached, fighting against your baser instinct to run towards him. So he could take you in his arms while you bathed him in kisses, mourning over the time spent apart.
"Hello," he nodded stiffly towards you. Not making eye contact as he shut the door. Kylo fiddled with the strap on his shoulder, his duffel bag hanging limp. Empty, ready to stuff more things inside before he ran away to whatever place he was staying.
"Hey," you croaked, eyes flitting back to your laptop. Biting your lip as you read through rejection after rejection, no one wanted you. The gaps in your resume were too long, your diploma meant nothing since you had zero experience.
Kylo's shoes scuffed the floor, sniffing loudly before he looked at you.
"I was going to grab some more things," he glanced towards the staircase, "All my stuff is at the dry cleaners right now, I've worn these pants two days in a row."
"That sucks."
He hummed, "Okay," backing away from you slowly. You watched him walk towards the stairs, back tense and straight. His hands were tucked into his pockets, something he did when he was nervous or uncomfortable.
You used to make him comfortable.
Now you just agitated him, even though it wasn't your fault you two were in this mess.
You stayed quiet as he rummaged around upstairs. Doors opening and closing, drawers slamming shut, you briefly heard swearing but you couldn't make it out. You hadn't thrown his stuff away, keeping everything organized. Right down to the hair products that he had left.
Color-coded and alphabetical by the sink.
His footsteps echoed to a stop, maybe he was considering kicking you out...
"Have you seen my black sweater?"
You stilled, his black sweater... "Nope."
A huff in annoyance, "The one that has the hole in the front, from when it got caught while we were in Niagra? It's not in the closet."
That's because I hid it, you thought. You'd been sleeping in it for the past week, it smelled like him and enveloped you like his arms used to. No way you were giving it back, call it a sacrifice of your relationship.
You listened to his slow descent to the kitchen, duffle now stuffed with clothes. He eyed you suspiciously, rolling his tongue along the inside of his cheek. Coming dangerously close to your seat, he angled himself behind you. A little to the left, but enough for him to spy on your computer screen.
"You're applying for jobs?"
You slapped your laptop shut, he didn't need to snoop.
"None of your business, Kylo."
He shrugged, looking up at the ceiling as he replied, "Might be good for you, to get out of the house."
"Mhm."
"You'll want to apply to multiple places," he stepped around you, opening the fridge for a brief glance inside. Spying one of his protein shakes that you hadn't thrown out, wasn't expired yet. Kylo cracked it open and took a small sip, "You won't be able to afford this place with entry-level salaries."
"Yes," you snapped at him, "I know that."
"Just trying to help, (Y/N)."
You climbed off your stool, moving away from him to curl on the couch. Already on the verge of tears, "You aren't helping, you're just being rude."
"Well, it's rude of you to steal my shit when we aren't together anymore."
That made the waterworks start, muffling your sniffles with your fluffy blanket. You tucked yourself away, desperate to disappear. Maybe when you woke up, everything would be back to normal, or you could wake up seven years earlier to avoid ever meeting him. Save yourself from the heartache that was tearing you apart from seam to seam.
You listened to the echo as he walked towards you. Huffing when he saw your shivering form, "I don't know why you're crying. I haven't been staying here for two weeks, we clearly aren't together."
"Whatever, Kylo," you whispered, voice breaking as you took in a wet breath, "Can you just leave?"
"Sure."
------
"I can't afford to stay there mom," you whimpered into the phone, you were stalling in your car. Parked in the garage of the apartment, you had been to an interview. Realizing the pitiful reality of your life, you had already begun to sell your designer clothes. Gucci purses, red bottoms, Tiffany earrings, Cartier bracelets, you name it. Anything that could help you create a bank account was sold off.
"Have you talked to him at all? Kylo wouldn't leave you high and dry, if anything he would pay for you to get an apartment."
"I don't want his help," you hissed.
A pause, "It would be humiliating to ask, I know he's expecting it. After the talk about jobs, he's just been waiting for me to cave and sacrifice my dignity."
"I'm just saying it wouldn't hurt to talk with him, I know you both have been avoiding it after the fight. It could bring you both some closure-or better yet-get you guys back together so I can get some grandbabies."
"Goodbye, mom."
You huffed as you hung up, slamming your head back into your headrest. Maybe you could sell the car, people would pay top dollar for a gold Porsche. But the title was in Kylo's name, birthday present, any money you'd earn would belong to him.
You pulled up your text thread, the last messages sent were from three days ago. He left you on read, you texted him goodnight after a few stale messages about your day and when he could come and move some furniture out. Kylo had gotten an apartment on the upper east side, right by his office. You checked the old Zillow listing, it was huge and ridiculously expensive.
Enough room for him and a new girlfriend, you were certain he was already fucking someone else. With how cruel he was with you, not even trying to make amends. Probably his secretary, she was always a slut. Showing off her tits to him, even when you came to visit. Kylo probably bent her over his desk the day after he left, just because he could.
You swallowed your pride, it was now or never.
Kylo, I think we need to talk.
Send.
Let's see how long it... oh?
What happened, I'm at work right now.
Quick, maybe he got the notification on his laptop.
Could I swing by the office?
Right now?
Yeah.
Typing...
I have a shareholder meeting at 2, make it quick.
You sped towards his work, determined to get there before he changed his mind and banned you from coming. You were shocked he even agreed, maybe he was having a rare good day.
Or forgot that you two were broken up.
After parking, you jogged into the building. No need to say hi to anyone, it was embarrassing enough to be the ex-girlfriend visiting. At least you were dressed up, people wouldn't think you were in the poor house, yet.
You smiled coldly at his secretary, not bothering to tell her what you were here for. Despite her stuttering about him having a meeting at 2, she was totally fucking him. There's no way she wasn't, a man like him can barely go a day without sticking his dick in something.
Whipping open the door, you were met with the uncomfortable silence that blanketed his office. Curtains were drawn, lights on the dimmest setting, the only noises were the door creaking and his fingers typing.
Like he was punishing the words, Kylo was good at breaking keyboards with his aggressive emailing.
You cleared your throat, watching as his eyes briefly flickered towards you before moving back to the screen. Okay, you walked slowly towards his desk. Pulling out a chair as quietly as possible, the leather squeaking when you sat.
Kylo let out a long sigh, leaning away from his screen. "What is it you want to talk about?"
With a harsh swallow, you fiddled with the hem of your skirt. Anything to avoid his penetrating gaze, "I just wanted to talk about, you know."
He blinked, face blank, "Use your words, please. I don't have time to fuck around, I have a business to run."
"I-I-I"
"Spit.it.Out."
"How come you never apologized?"
Silence.
Kylo's jaw clenched and unclenched, leaning back in his chair slowly. Staring directly at you, "This conversation?"
"Yes, I need to know."
"What good is it doing us now?"
"I don't know I just-"
"What are you hoping to gain from this?"
"Kylo-"
He huffed loudly, "I don't have to answer you anymore, we aren't together."
You slammed a fist on his desk, rattling a few pieces he had decorating it. Standing on your wobbling legs, "Listen to me, you can be an asshole all you fucking want but I deserve answers."
Kylo narrowed his eyes, standing slowly before you. His form towering, making you feel even smaller than you already felt. Crawling to his office for closure, and instead, he wanted to argue with you about the necessity of the conversation.
You watched his palms lay flat on the polished wood, crinkling papers he had strewn about.
"If you're here for money, just fucking say it."
"I am not here for-"
Now it was his turn to slam the desk, "Bullshit! You're here to fucking grovel because you don't know how to take care of yourself. Can't even get a second-rate job!"
"You're the one who insisted on taking care of me!"
"So you think it's okay to demand money when we aren't together? Selling off all the shit I bought you to pay the power bills?"
You gaped at him, "I would never."
"Shut up," Kylo spat, leaning further across to be nose to nose, "You forget that I have your email linked to my laptop. I can see every pathetic message about pawning what I worked for. What I provided you, fucking ungrateful."
"How dare you sneak through my email!?"
"It's not sneaking if I have the passwords, darling."
"You can't fucking do that," you pushed away, arms folded while you glanced around the room. All your pictures were gone, more proof that showed he was erasing your existence, "At least I'm not already fucking someone..."
"Excuse me?"
You spoke over your shoulder, "You heard me."
"Are you seriously accusing me of that," Kylo scoffed, "When that's what got us into this mess in the first place?"
You shrugged, "How long have you been fucking her, did you march to her place after I kicked you out?"
"(Y/N)."
"I'm a big girl, I can take it. Just tell me the truth, because there's no way you'd just abandon me if there wasn't someone else."
"(Y/N)."
You spun on your heel, snarling with a finger in his face, "How many women have you replaced me with? Huh? Or is it just your slut of a secretary-"
Kylo flipped his desk, everything crashing to the floor. You screamed as he began to throw items to the walls, tear books off the shelves, kicking his chairs to the ground. Anything he could get his hands on he attempted to tear apart.
"Enough!"
Heavy breaths.
"I'm not fucking anyone else! Are you fucking serious? All I've fucking done is work! Trying to just fucking move on but nooo," he faced you now, cheeks red and puffing. A few tracks of tears streaking towards his jaw, "You-you just have to be right, and have to be the victim of all this when it's both our fucking fault!"
Kylo paced away from you, running his fingers through his hair before crouching down to the floor. Cradling his face in his hands while he took in shaky breaths, "I fucking missed you, so much. It's all I thought about, but every fucking time I came back you ignored me."
"Kylo-"
"No, you fucking iced me out. I could barely speak to you and I wasn't going to do anything over text."
You succumbed to your tears, there was no way to hold them. Choking as you wiped away the floods, "I-I didn't m-mean to, you weren't talking to me Kylo. How was I supposed to r-react?"
Now he was crying, hiccuping in an attempt to steady his breathing and push through it like he always had. But he couldn't stop the tremor in his voice, "You could've told me you loved me or forgave me. Anything would've been better than this."
"Why do I have to be the one to apologize, I'm not the one who forgot our day and manhandled me in the tub! You were drunk, rude, and horrible to me, I deserved an apology."
"I know," he sniffed, "I tried to-the first few times I came back for clothes. But you hid from me."
You nodded slowly, pacing your way towards him. Unsure of how he'd react to you touching him, but you needed to be closer. You shuffled to his side, sliding your back against the gray wall to the floor.
"We've never been good at apologizing."
Kylo sat on the floor, mirroring you against the wall, "At least before, you didn't kick me out. Force me to crash on a couch, you know I don't fit on couches."
You chuckled softly, not wanting to smile at the visual.
"That's why our couch was custom," he laughed too, dull and humorless, "Because I kept sliding off."
"Yup."
Both of you swallowed, throats clicking in unison. Kylo shuffled in a more comfortable position, looking out at the clouded sky that peeked through the shades.
"For what it's worth, I am sorry."
A breath, "I never meant to miss our day, and I thought you were finished with me. I should've just spoken to you instead of drink, but that doesn't mean much now."
You hummed, "Thank you."
"I can write you a check," he sighed, "So you can get another place and still keep whatever's left of your collections."
"You don't-"
"I know I don't."
Kylo wrote you a check for half a million dollars, not looking at you when he ripped it from his checkbook. He mumbled about the bank may be needing to call him to confirm it, just have them call my office number.
Sending you off without another word.
------
Your new apartment was cute, small, perfect for you.
Light and airy, none of the fixtures were black or red. Hues of pink, coral, green, and blue danced around the rooms. Your couch was velvet, just because you wanted it to be. With an abundance of pillows and candles on every surface, you could fit them onto.
Your bed was a four-poster with a dreamy white canopy, soft and cloudlike bedding scrunched up from however you left them. No one was running around frantic to make the bed, or straighten the blinds, or draw the curtains, it was just yours.
The check was cashed with little fuss, you tried not to cry about it. You dropped off the old house keys at Kylos office, along with your car keys, there was no need to keep the Porsche. You weren't living that life anymore, you could buy your own car now! And it would be yours, it was too hard to drive the gift everywhere.
Kylo told you to keep the car when he found the keys, but you ignored his messages. He wouldn’t understand why you wouldn’t keep it, but that was his problem.
You sighed into your couch, looking at the TV nestled next to the bay window. Imagining where you could squish more houseplants… you already had an abundance but it wouldn’t hurt.
Your phone began to vibrate on the coffee table, startling you as you scrambled towards it. Oh, it was Kylo, odd.
“Hey?”
“Hey.”
“Uh,” you stood from the floor, scratching your cheek as you walked. “What’s up?”
He cleared his throat, “I saw you got a place, wanted to drop off a housewarming gift.”
Your face scrunched, balancing the phone between your face and shoulder. Popping a potato chip in your mouth, “Why would you do that?”
A sigh, “Can you just buzz me in? I brought wine…”
“Whatever.”
Kylo came in with a tight smile, dressed in some black joggers and a gray t-shirt. He looked like he just rolled out of bed, not his typical look on a weekday. He held up a brown paper bag, Whole Foods on the label.
"You went to Whole Foods?" you raised a concerned brow.
"Nope," he set the bag on your kitchen table, eying the plants and crystals that littered your living room. A few magazines were strewn around on the surface, "I had my secretary do it."
You glared at him, which he noticed before shaking his head rapidly, "New secretary-not the old one. His name is Brady, he's very nice."
Kylo stood with his hands in his pockets, glancing in every direction as you approached the bag. Humming when you began pulling out the goodies he had, as promised there was a bottle of wine. Your favorite, along with a set of glasses.
A clear purple tinge, almost vintage looking. Some of your favorite fruit, he blushed when you held them up to his eyes. Mumbling how you never had enough of them in the past, and it was their season.
Now you were blushing, finding some red velvet cupcakes. Packaged beautifully, and a small vase in the shape of a kitty. You placed it on the table, looking at it over and over. Biting your lip as you waited for something to happen.
"I like your place," Kylo croaked out, "It's very bright."
You chuckled, "You're just used to your eyes straining from all the red and black decor."
He hummed, walking down your hallway. Glancing indoors that were left open until he made it to your bedroom. You heard him groan when he saw the white sheets and canopy, Kylo whistled for you.
Obediently, you pranced towards him, taken aback when he was sprawled on your mattress. Facedown with his face in your pillow, groaning like he was trying to wake up from a good dream.
"I fucking forgot how good you smelled," he moaned out, looking over at you lazily, "What would I have to do to get you to make out with me in here?"
------
LOL, this was long, but I'll do a part three if you would enjoy the rest of their reunion.
TAGGING: @finn-ray-nal-beads​​​ @onlykyloscenes​​​ @candycanes19​​​ @historyandfandoms50​​​ @caelum-phyriina-vermillon​​​ @ghoulian13​​​ @mrs-kylo-ren​​​ @millenialcatlady​​​​ @relationshipwithmybed​​ @dancingmicrobes​​​ @wayward-rose​​​ @contesa-lui-alucard​​​ @daydreamsofren​​​ @insufferablelust​​​ @ohdamnadamm​​​ @mariesackler​​​ @caillea​​ @safarigirlsp​​ @jalexunderthestars​​​ @shesakillerkween​​​ @glassythoughts​​ @zimmermansbrat​​ @not-the-teen-witch​​ @jynzandtonic​ @roanniom​ @celestiasin @glassbxttles @cornmousequeen @driversmutbucket @blowthatpieceofjunk
Here is the link to my Mega Masterlist for all your stalking needs...
100 notes · View notes