#i can’t hear myself think
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i think society as a whole would benefit from being quieter
make it hard to mod motorcycles to be loud
stop playing butt pop in restaurants
please
#opinions by z#fuck loud motorcycles#fuck loud restaurant music#i can’t hear myself think#i hope y’all explode
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
not gonna lie i think that i am so depressed rn it’s giving me brain damage. or at least in the short term making me feel stupid
#i can’t hear myself think#i can’t focus for shit. i need to be medicated again#and i’ll tell you it’s at least 50% seasonal#not getting enough sun is killing me#+ working evenings is killing me#maybe i should move up a desert somewhere. or somewhere with beaches
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Look how they cannibalized my boy
#in light of recent events#i felt a mighty need to redraw this scene#can’t believe the terror got another thing right#james fitzjames#og james fitzjames#the franklin expedition#historical james fitzjames#franklin expedition#james fitzjames fanart#polar exploration#my drawings#the terror fanart#amc the terror#the terror#the terror adjacent#og jfj#i can’t believe they ate my baby#insane#still reeling tbh#started drawing this immediately upon hearing the news#because i’m sick in the head#i think i had convinced myself that he was the Washington bay aglooka#and i told myself that if he had lived that long maybe he had lived a lot longer#maybe he was one of the few that nearly made it back#one could always hope#until now that is#i have very mixed emotions about this#i am both glad we know (finally!!!) and i also kind of wish we didn’t#really i wish that he had made it#but there’s nothing i can do about that
79 notes
·
View notes
Text
i don’t want to jump the gun, but i think hwang daseul might have just done it again. two episodes in to let free the curse of taekwondo and i am obsessed. more than obsessed. transfixed. this show feels special in a way hwang daseul’s touch only can give, and just using these two episodes to compare to her previous works, i love that i can already spot the continuity in the kinds of stories she tells, the messages she portrays and how she portrays them. she just knows how to let her characters exist in harmful and difficult places and show how their experiences affect them while also just showing them as normal human beings. it is so so easy to overdramatise these kinds of stories that have these difficult topics and have it be so surface level, but she has never done that. instead, she shows how those experiences shape a person and how they go about living in spite of them. all the way from where your eyes linger to now, she gives us characters that are wholly themselves and not just the traumas they have gone through and i just adore that. i can’t remember what i was talking about specifically, but i remember talking about this sentiment and how it actually helps to build empathy in an audience as opposed to just showing a difficult topic at the most surface level bc you think that makes it accessible and easier to understand and hence empathise with. i don’t think that ever works. it’s only when you do what hwang daseul does, when you give us characters we can get to know and fall in love with and care for that you help us to empathise with their experiences. it’s hard to understand the weight and the hardship of experiencing something traumatic, but when something bad happens to someone close to you, a family member or a friend, you understand and feel that pain astronomically more. that’s what hwang daseul manages to do. and more so, she makes you feel that while also seeing these people as people. you get to see them away from the hurt, you see them smile in moments of happiness and you see that too with people you’re close to, and you feel even more how special and important those moments of happiness are.
and that’s why, whenever hwang daseul is at the helm of something, i will be seated from start to end with endless boxes of tissues ready. i can’t wait to see what else this show has in store.
#let free the curse of taekwondo#oh I am so BACK#not to get too personal but god#i have been so tired bc of work#i have literally done so many long days and been so busy and so stressed#and I haven’t vibed with a bl for so long I mean I hear the sunspot was all I cared about for a bit#and im watching jack and joker now but I didn’t know if I had fallen out of love with bl#but what I think it is is i just needed something to really get my teeth into#fluff and silly fun is good I won’t ever knock it I love it I watch it#but when I have so little time I just feel myself getting impatient watching it sometimes bc I can’t sink my teeth into it#like I won’t be at work vibrating bc I know when I get home I’ll get to watch the next episode#this is what I needed#like this makes me feel alive like all my passion is invigorated again and I just feel the rants coming#and that just makes me so happy I can’t even say#I don’t wanna get emo but this show already makes me emo so#I just love being here#I love it
60 notes
·
View notes
Text
Realizing I am full of so much pent up rage
#not in a i want to hit something way but in a i can’t scream so all my anger shows up as tears way#i think i need to scream for hours#i need to scream every terrible thought i have about myself and my life#just to fucking say it#just to get it out#my self-esteem is so catastrophically low i can’t take a compliment without bursting into tears#i can’t even hear ‘are you okay’ without crying#i have been crying on and off all day today at work. i just want to go home
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sophie Shepard & Kaidan Alenko (ME2) 1/?
MIRA'S MORE CANON ME2 "The wrong place at the right time..." AKA: The aftermath of Stealing Memory. Mass Effect 2: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#sophie shepard#kaidan alenko#shenko#fshenko#mass effect#mass effect 2#me2#mass effect legendary edition#dailygaming#morecanonmasseffect#otp: you're real enough for me#these are my favorite bisexuals on the citadel sir#if bioware won’t give me soph and kaidan content in me2? FUCK IT. i’ll do it myself :)#i’m not even kidding about more canon either :) there’s some cute little details i spent way too much time modding in lol#kaidan’s little moon earring he gets after soph dies#me now knowing how to add outfits to the closet so i can yoink the male hoodie mesh to kitbash the hoodie she steals from their apartment#literally right after she resurrects that she always wears around the normandy :)#special shout-out to tali and thane bc their romance scenes have some nice moments#i could rant about soph’s me2 canon for hours but the cerberus plotline is shit#so half of that gets tossed out and kaidan and ash end up back on the normandy when she stages a coup from cerberus :)#bioware canon sucks so i’m rewriting ME2 :) they get to smooch more :)#like this!!#kaidan shows up on kasumi’s loyalty mission to help out with the undercover aspect when he hears soph is in citadel space :)#so they take out hock together :) and i think that’s how they end up rekindling (even though they never really stopped) :)#one of these days i’ll get around to giving kaidan his full arm tattoo instead of just the shoulder one you can’t even see lmao#i am now very powerful since i remember how to mesh swap and i can control the closet :)#i fear i’m about to be obnoxious about gif’ing ME2 missions#i think kaidan ash soph and zaeed are about to be going places#SORRY FOR THE RANT :) enjoy your day 💙
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
Can I interest the Tumblr Homestuck community in some mermaid Karkat I did last month cuz I haven’t stopped thinking about this AU since
#Sharpie bath but make it high fantasy#God I wish this was as easy as a sharpie bath#Four hours of grey body paint#At hour 2 I started to question how I got here#By hour 3 I was just disappointed in myself#Anyways hear me out#Ocean-side rock-explorer Dave finding this guy and going ‘damn that’s the angriest fish I’ve ever seen’#‘I can’t even understand him but I think I just got absolutely cussed out in crab’#‘Guess I’m in love’#karkat vantas#homestuck#karkat cosplay#mermaidstuck#Mermaid karkat
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
doctor who human!au with multiple doctors but they’re all named by their numbers because they’re all trans and picked them out theirselves.
#they’re NERDS.#and then across the street lives their older neighbors. the normal sounding professor yana (<- also trans) and. War. (<- very obviously#trans.)#akdjjflfj i think if i wrote a fic like this i would genuinely just end up using their numbers as names#and give this as the in-universe excuse to do so. maybe they collaborated.#if they’re siblings in it then they definitely did#ten voice: you know we should probably also have normal names if we change our birth certificates. something people won’t raise an eyebrow#at just so that we can go stealth if we need to. || eleven voice (<- married a woman who named herself RIVER SONG.): sorry i can’t hear you#ive already changed mine and i gave myself sixteen new middles names#(thirteen: you know john smith isn’t a normal name right? it’s too normal. it’s suspicious. || ten: >:( || twelve: (the only person trying#to sleep at the sleepover voice) Please Shut The Fuck Up)#human!sibling!doctors au
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
now of course i’m [REDACTED] about iwtv and so excited for season 3 however don’t know if i’ll be able to watch it because that teaser literally almost made me vomit to death. sam reid ily but i genuinely don’t think there’s a person on earth who can do the rockstat thing and not have me clawing my eyes out from secondhand whatever i’m feeling. i had to skim the singing parts of the BOOK i can’t do this. i see gifs of him doing the monologue and a shiver runs down my spine. yeah i’m normal or whatever why do you ask
#i’m sorry most camp just makes me want to kill myself. i think that’s the most controversial thing i’ve ever said on here which is crazy#i’m the kind of person who can’t watch cast interviews of anything. i hear about something being improvised on set and break out in hives.#i think there’s something wrong with meeeeeee 😝
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal
#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept#i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them#if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens#i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it#i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut#it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair#my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking#if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back#if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off#ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal#but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends#i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens#and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too#since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out#i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now#now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that#i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly.#if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill#in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it#my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes#sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know???#but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested#i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore#i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
probably my most favorite take is that rhaegar suffered from the same “madness” as his father & brother, aka a family history of schizophrenia and my evidence is i know what someone on a delusions of grandeur bent looks like lmao, and someone becoming convinced that their bloodline is the key to saving the world, then getting fixated on someone else they love/admire as also being the key to saving the world, is like, textbook delusional. i’ve always thought rhaegar (and dany & viserys, by extension as the last dragons, inheriting the legacy from their older family members) was a great way of exploring that concept of “are you really crazy if they’re actually out to get you” bc these prophecies definitely exist! some magical portend IS out to get them but unfortunately all it did was make them absolutely crazy!
#fun story several years after his break my uncle got diagnosed with paranoid type schizophrenia & goes ‘i don’t think i’m that paranoid’ &#my mom and grandma just. stared at him. until he went ‘okay you don’t have to be rude!’ aksjdjd. he was hilarious i miss him.#i think rhaegar is often excluded from the idea of targ madness but. watching your father lose his mind & knowing the other adult in the#room HAS to be you no matter what bc no one else will do it they will just sit there and watch. that’s. so much to grow up under.#getting on my soap box#there’s something here in rhaegar & cersei both hearing horrible prophecies at young ages & it just completely breaking their psyche.#it’s so tragic that like. these two great hopes for normalcy in westeros are too far gone before they ever reach puberty. the madness of#knowing too much about your own future. the futility of it. too much for a child to cope with.#i can’t believe i made myself sad about rhaegar what’s my problem rn aksjsj
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
to people actually knowing what’s going on wuwa, which character can you recommend from the standard pool? i already got the yin yang lady from the beginner‘s banner
also i‘m thinking of pulling jiyan but i‘m not committed yet
#┊glimpse into the crystal ball ೃ༄#holly plays wuthering waves#i can’t comment on the combat yet since i‘m just button mashing and hoping it‘ll translate well through the lag#i hear verina is good since she’s a healer#but so is the monk lady? but not as good?#i think healers run less of a risk of being power crept#plus if i do get jinyan as a dps maybe choosing supports is good?#i also hope the novice banner was random bc if i missed the opportunity to get. designated 5* i‘ll kick myself
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
am I the only one who gets scared to shit talk certain characters bc what if they manifest themselves into the real world and yolk my ass up for shit talking them?????? does that make sense omg????
like cussing Dabi out for beating hero ass while watching the show, and then falling asleep, only to wake up in the middle of the night bc you feel someone watching you. and lo and behold he’s standing at the end of your bed, his eyes damn near glowing in the dark as he drags your ankles down until you’re pressed against him???? and he promises to make you eat your words by the time he goes back to his own world???? pls tell me this doesn’t sound crazy 🧍🏽♀️
#is this comprehensible#pls say yes aidhdkdjd#I was just cussing shiggy out while watching#I think it’s ep 9#and I was thinking like#oh my god I’d be fucked if he manifested himself to be in my room just to beat my ass#(in the seggsy way 🤫)#and I stopped talking shit bc I scared myself akdhdkfjf#I kinda wanna write more of this and make it a fic but what I freak myself out omg#I did that once when I wrote a stalker bkg fic where he hacked your phone and could hear/see you ALL the time#now I can’t **** without getting nervous someone’s listening LMFOAJDKDJFJF#it’s my anxiety triggering the paranoia leave me alone iahskdjddj#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#dabi treats! 🍬
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
#🍄.txt#putting away clothes feeling overheated and dizzy and getting overstimulated bc everything makes me feel sick and crying about it for 5 mins#i feel really normal about things and react appropriately#so maybe heartburn and chest pain flare ups all day yesterday did a lil number on me#decided not to shower before coming up to bed because i was exhausted and didn’t feel like coming out of the shower dizzy#and feeling even more overstimulated because i feel so dirty because i showered the night before and not in the morning#and remembering i have to go out and see family later that i don’t think i can get out of because my cousin has the guiltripper gene#and liked using it against me so i’ll probably never hear the end of it#i love being overstimulated like actually the only thing that’ll fix me is killing myself#laying in bed feeling paralyzed and dirty because my hair and my face feel oily ok#hair on my pillow i need to wash. ok#i feel really normal about this#not at all like i can’t remember the last time i took my anxiety medication this past week
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#taking a sick day because yesterday and last night made me so anxious I didn’t fall asleep until 5am#and if I I have to go to work and hear one trumper say I anything my sleep deprived body won’t let me bite my tongue and I’ll get fired#I’m also beyond exhausted and can’t make myself get up and get ready#I’m just in disbelief#gonna try to sleep today away and not think about our impending doom
2 notes
·
View notes