#i can’t even remember the title of it now but i got to the creepy band short story in julia armfield’s salt slow collection last night

[tevos]

///

[just-wrting]

Secret Admirer

Title: Secret Admirer

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: You've been trying to figure out who keeps leaving you little notes and gifts. Despite everyone else knowing, you keep denying the obvious answer.

Word Count: 1721

Master List

A/N: This will probably be the only thing I write for Reid. I'm not super into him but when the List Randomizer spat out secret admirer I weirdly thought of him. I plan on trying to write a bunch of different characters from a bunch of different fandoms. Just whoever pops into my head I guess. Two will probably be posted Friday.

You aren’t sure when you noticed it. Maybe it was the fact that your desk was always clean. Maybe it was the little extra things that started to appear. Slowly but surely, you realized you had someone who was leaving you gifts and notes. You had a secret admirer.

Despite your efforts, no one on the team would say anything. For several weeks, you pressed the issue with the other BAU members, yet no one cracked. In fact, you were teased about being unable to figure it out. How could a member of the BAU not figure out their mystery admirer?

“Come on Garcia! I know you know. You have to tell me,” you plead with the tech genius. “You’ve literally been avoiding me. I know you know.”

She lets out a squeak before running to the safety of her lair. Morgan is giving you a smirk and shaking his head. Despite your scowl, he chooses to tease you.

“Come on, (L/N), can’t you figure it out? Who could be this mystery man leaving you gifts and fancy letters?” He laughs as he pokes the latest gift, a small stuffed version of your favorite animal.

“Hey, leave my new son out of this. What did he ever do to you?” you grumble, pulling it closer to you. “I didn’t even realize someone remembered such a little detail.”

“Maybe that means it’s been a long time crush.”

At that moment, Reid sets his bag down and takes a seat at his desk. You think you see Morgan’s grin get wider, but it’s hard to tell given how wide his smile usually is. It’s a picture perfect smile.

“That’s a relatively cute stuffed animal. I’ve actually been reading up on that one recently if you’d like to know more,” he offers. “Only if you’re interested of course.”

Reid gives you his charming boyish smile. It goes well with demeanor and you can’t help but find it cute.

“As long as you’re willing to leave out the creepy facts. I don’t even remember telling anyone my favorite animal,” you say with a smile. “Who would remember such a little detail?”

Morgan chimes back in, “Maybe someone with a perfect memory. Like what the kid has.”

You sigh. “Reid seems to like highly intelligent women with PhDs. I may be smart, but I’m not smart enough.”

Before anyone can protest, Hotch calls you all to the conference room for a case. While you’re sure Reid is nice enough to help whoever has a crush on you, you doubt you’d be his type. Maybe Reid is the perfect person to question about the mystery man.

—-

“Reid, (L/N), you two stay here and look through the papers,” Hotch orders before leaving the precinct.

You frown. What’s the point of having you here? Reid can read faster than you can. It’s almost like you’re just here for moral support in case he gets tired.

“Well now I feel useless,” you groan. “What am I even supposed to do?”

Reid doesn’t look up as he speaks. “Maybe today you’re our mascot. After all, mascots are supposed to be cute.”

You roll your eyes and try not to laugh. “Not all mascots are cute. Recognizable is definitely more important than cute. Besides, am I really that cute?

“I meant to say that compared to Morgan, you’re cute.” Reid buries his head further into the papers.

You ponder for a moment. “Well, you’ve got some charm. Morgan has the charm of he’s good with women so that’s why he gets hit on. Hotch is mature and a leader so that’s why women are into him. You’re cute though. You’ve got this soft sort of shyness that makes you adorable.”

You don’t catch Reid’s reply. His face is completely hidden behind various files. Maybe he’s just embarrassed, given that he’s always been a bit bad with taking compliments. That doesn’t stop you from thinking that it’s adorable.

“Speaking of your charms. I like the fact that you’ve got a good memory. You wouldn’t happen to know who’s got a crush on me, would you?”

He doesn’t look up. “I can pass along a message if you’d like.”

“Well then, I suppose you should tell this guy to ask me out. I can say for certain that if he’s this considerate, that he’s already got my interest.”

“I’ll do that,” he mumbles before handing you a file. “Take a look at this. I think I’ve found what we’ve been missing.”

—-

You peer into the lecture hall. It took some convincing, but you have successfully dragged J.J. to one of Lewis’ classes. You gesture vaguely into the room.

“See! That’s what normal Reid is. Dorky jokes, random facts, and the rambling on for ages is what makes him Reid. That’s not what he’s like around me anymore,” you hiss.

She makes a face and shakes her head. “So you have a different Reid? I don’t think he’s been replaced (L/N). Maybe you’re thinking about it too hard.”

You scoff. “No I’m not. Reid just seems so nervous around me. Did I do something? He barely looks at me anymore.”

With a shrug, she leads you away. “Have you tried asking him?”

You toss your empty coffee cup in a trash can. Part of you wants to throw up your hands and be done. Why is everyone treating this like it’s normal? No one is giving you any answers.

“Of course I have J.J. It would be weirder if I hadn’t. He clearly knows something about this secret admirer of mine, but won’t tell.”

J.J. pats your arm comfortingly. “Maybe it’s because he’s your secret admirer. Perhaps you need to ask him out.”

“Yeah sure. I’ll ask him out once I have the evidence that he’s the person leaving me these gifts.”

J.J. raises her eyebrows as she drinks from her coffee. Her face says she has other thoughts, but she won’t press the matter further. Your gut tells you to trust her, but you’d rather not make a fool of yourself. Sure, she knows Reid better than you do, but Reid can be difficult to read.

—-

After reading the latest note, you search your desk for your stapler. You’ve been stapling the date and time to each note before tucking it in your desk. However, it’s missing.

You let out a groan. This isn’t the first time it’s been in the wrong spot, and you’re sick of it. You opt to beg Garcia to look at the camera footage to see who’s been using it.

“Hey Garcia? Can you please pull up the footage of my desk this morning? Someone’s been using my stapler, and today they stole it,” you grumble with a scowl. “Whoever took it is going to get some very strong words.”

As she speeds through the footage, you watch the people who got there before you. At first, you see Reid pause at your desk and fiddle with something. You note that he’s the only person in the office at the time, but after he pulls away, you see your stapler still on the desk.

The next person to stop at your desk is Morgan. He pulls your stapler off your desk and staples his paperwork together as he heads to Hotch’s office. He never sets it back on your desk.

“Garcia? Can you please get my stapler from that idiot?”

She laughs. “Has he been using your stapler this whole time? He said there wasn’t any more in the supply room.”

You shake your head. “You like him so much, you can retrieve my stolen goods from him.”

Garcia nods. “I’m on it. You can count on me.”

You leave her to her planning. You don’t comment on the fact that Reid had been at your desk. If you ask her about it, she’ll just  leave you alone to go get your stapler. This is enough evidence for you though. It’s time to confront Reid.

Thankfully, he’s made his way to the conference room to look for something. You sneak in behind him and stand between him and the door.

“So, what did you need from my desk this morning?”

You watch him jump and spin around. He looks shocked, but quickly covers it up.

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about, (L/N).”

You frown. “I found out my stapler was missing. Garcia showed me the footage and before it went missing, you were at my desk. What did you do?”

Reid opens and closes his mouth a few times. He doesn’t look at you. His hands keep fiddling with whatever he’s holding.

“Forget about it, I’m sure there was just some trash leftover that you cleaned up.”

He swallows hard. “Yeah. I didn’t want you to have to worry about it.”

You give him a smile. “Thanks. Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask you about something else. The others seem to think I’m just talking myself out of it, but I think I can't put it off any longer.”

You make your way towards him, your smile still plastered on your face. You can tell he’s even more nervous now.

“Reid, are you my secret admirer?”

This time, Reid looks you in the eyes. You hear his breath hitch in his throat.

“What if I am?”

You’re a bit taken aback. Despite the determination you had walking into this, you aren’t sure what to say.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

Your voice is a whisper now. It feels like some sort of dream. It’s almost like if you talk too loud, this whole thing will shatter and you’ll be left in pieces.

“I didn’t think you’d like me back. Your type just didn’t seem to include me.”

Reid hesitantly pushes a strand of hair out of your face.

“You’re more my type than you realize.”

“Then do you want to get dinner tonight?”

Now you’re the one who's acting nervous. Your palms are sweaty. It’s more difficult to breathe. You can’t help but bite your lip.

“I’d like that. If you’re willing to get dinner with me.”

Reid leans down, and gives you a quick kiss. It barely lasts a second, but you can feel your skin heat up. When he pulls away, he stays close.

“I wouldn’t miss it.”

[theoraclej]

THAT SEASON FINALE!

light, where to begin, a disjointed ramble of things I observed:

Dovie’andi se tovya sagain! - Mat said the words, he said the words!

And he made his own ashandarei! I hope he gets the raven-inlaid one though because I’m sure no one wants him running around with that dagger

And I know he’s going to get a massive S3 glow-up because he sees himself as MORE, now. Yay Mat!

RAND exploding the shit out of the Seanchan including Turak; nice way around his general lack of swordtraining which I’m sure will be remedied

Once the Heron, to set his path!

The interplay between Rand (and Lews Therin before him), Lanfear, Ishamael - they were besties in the Age of Legends, lmao!

I had expected the intro to be a high society polyam party they were attending, not the Sealing of Ishamael, 🤭

The Warder bond was beautiful, flowing, intimate, just what I imagined when reading these books some 25 years ago

I knew Moiraine was gonna say Lan was her better!

I’m so glad they’re back together though, legendary qpp

Nice to see the S1 intro sequence with the gorgeously woven Aes Sedai tapestry

I was a bit sad Nynaeve didn’t heal Elayne OR Rand but she DID swear to make Seta’s mother curse the first kiss her father ever gave her and THAT was cool

Hopper, my beloved! 😩 I would be chopping Whitecloaks too!

It was so satisfying to see Perrin obey his wolfly instincts already!

Elayne being the one to heal Rand’s wound was an interesting choice, and you can tell he was dazzled by her!

Book lines, book lines, book lines making me have conniptions every time one was uttered

“From birth to death I serve the Blood.”

UNO I KNEW YOU WERE COMING YA SHEEP-GUTTED MILK DRINKER

“For the Light, and Shinowa!” still gave me chills even without an expanded story behind it for Ingtar

Egwene al’Vere. I hope she earns a title of “the Unbroken” someday. Remember, Nynaeve even said that about her when Egwene was captured by Whitecloaks in S1!

Egwene, spitting out the damane gag and refusing to rain down fire on innocents, ah my girl, that’s that Two Rivers steel

Egwene, collaring Renna and choking her to death, being stronger than Renna, being able to withstand the pain of that because that’s exactly what Renna taught her

Egwene later, with that amazing shield against Ishamael to protect her friends!

Lanfear pushing Lan and Moiraine out of the ocean Waygate was very unexpected but totally within Lanfear’s lane, just to keep Moiraine away from Rand

Lanfear working to sell the Seals to Bayle Domon, which was so lmao also, and it really enhanced her utter shock when she entered the room later with the Seals all broken.

M O G H E D I E N 🕷️

She is perfectly creepy, perfect in every way. I can’t wait to see her tear shit up, or to see how she will be used in S3 and beyond

Never expected her to cage Lanfear in her webs, either, dang. Lillen Moiral wasn’t near so strong as Mierin. But we know some things are just Talents, and Moghedien is better in Tel’aran’rhiod than Lanfear

Did you notice Rand’s wound swirling with evil bits throughout the healed part? Really cool effect if you catch it

Aviendha, Bain, and Chiad showing they can fight just as well in close quarters in a city as in the Three-Fold Land; and then later acknowledging Rand as Car’a’carn

Though I’d hoped we’d get some good old He Who Comes With The Dawn in here too

Moiraine’s outstanding torpedo weaves that fucked up the Seanchan boats! And she understands the stakes - if the Dragon is gentled, or harmed, or captured, everyone’s life is in danger and that includes her and Lan

Anyhow fuck the Seanchan

Did it look like Suroth got blown up too? Does that mean she’s dead? I guess we’ll see who gathers in the scattered remnants of the Hailene!

The first “I’m not Lews Therin” from Rand

Mat taking a moment to mention Rand’s “shit hair” to Perrin while they were in the mix, lmao

That shadow ashandarei is really scary, it is a laser knife (lightsaber?) on a stick

I can’t wait for Perrin and Hopper to meet again in the Wolfdream

Speaking of which, I think Perrin’s eyes are permanently golden now

I cried at the coming of the Heroes of the Horn, I’m sure many of you did too 😭

Cool Hero fighting effects, I liked those

BIRGITTE SILVERBOW MY LOVELY

I figured Min’s vision of Mat “killing” Rand would be something like this, an accident, not an intentional thing

His blood on the rocks of Shayol Ghul…

AL’LAN MANDRAGORAN, the Uncrowned King, Sworn to the Flame, bonded again, fighting as he was meant to, just slicing through armies, snatching arrows out of the air and stabbing people with them, chef’s kiss

I wonder if Nynaeve’s “failures” and inability to channel at these vital moments will give her the drive to break her block

Ishamael’s channeling at the end was really impressive, a testament to how much more he knows than Rand

I hope that’s not the last we see of Fares Fares, he was remarkable as Ishamael and a truly enjoyable villain

And since they didn’t have the Dragon banner of Lews Therin Telamon found with the Horn like in the books, Moiraine saw to it that he was heralded with literal fire

This I can imagine many people seeing from far away, and of course rumor travels further

The Falmen sure seem to appreciate it and of course the Seanchan are gone for now

Lanfear asking the LIGHT to protect Rand at the end is something interesting and NOT LOST ON ME

I REALLY ENJOYED IT and am looking forward to a full rewatch of S1 and S2!

Proclaimed across the sky in fire 🔥🐲

[forwhump]

a/n; as promised, some wren <3 I said somewhere “nothing good happens now for a long time” so here’s some not good things happening >:)

I consider the second part of this whole thing (I’ll pick a title eventually) the “farmhouse arc” & the arcs are all based around the different vibes i felt like writing at the time LOL

this is when i was feeling slasher/serial killer sort of vibes & also hopelessly devastating yearning but worry not: it’s still just horrible shit happening to my (our ?? 👀) favourite little guy <3 (but seriously wren gets tortured in this one)

tw/cw: kidnapping, false imprisonment, sexual slavery, implied rape/noncon, mentions of past rape/noncon, misgendering, transphobia, psychological torture, drowning, burning but with water (boiling ???), mentions of necrophilia, mentions of a living weapon, dehumanization, body fluids

creepy whumper

Wren wakes up in the dark, naked and shivering.

It isn’t the first time, not even close, but something about this time is different. Wrong. He knows even before he’s opened his eyes.

He doesn’t recognize any of the sounds for a long time, a sort of rumble that’s so familiar but out of reach, detached. The floor beneath him moves restlessly, almost vibrating. It isn’t until somebody honks in the distance, laying on the horn, that Wren recognizes the hum of traffic and his throat constricts so tightly it makes him gag.

He’s in a trunk. He’s outside. But there’s none of the relief, there isn’t a deep breath of fresh air, because there are only two people Wren knows that would want to get him out of the district and above ground. Only one of those people, Wren thinks, would throw him in the trunk.

Now he’s alone. He’s more alone than he’s ever been. Trapped, and the farthest from Silas he’s been since he’s known him and Wren can’t save himself. How is he supposed to save himself?

That thing bursts in his throat and Wren screams bloody murder. The car swerves quickly, Wren slides, hits his head pretty hard but screams again, anyway. The car jerks and he hits his head again. He’s naked — he’s so fuckin’ tired of being naked. What’s the last thing he remembers?

What’s the last thing he remembers?

He doesn’t remember anything; nothing that ends with him in the boot of a car. How did he get here? Where’s Silas?

What the fuck happened to Silas?

He isn’t really the type to let Wren get far without him, but Silas has never been above ground, not as much as he remembers. Wren doesn’t even know how long he’s been unconscious, so he can’t even begin to guess how far they’ve gotten. Not that knowing that would even do him any good, seeing as Wren has no idea where they came from, doesn’t have the first clue where the district might be. How is Silas ever going to catch up? How is ever going to find him?

Wren’s never going to see him again.

It’s like cold water. It’s barbed. It knocks the wind out of him and he doesn’t scream again, but he makes a helpless, gasping sort of sound, the same sound he makes when he tries to scream in his nightmares.

Wren is never going to see him again. The world is too big and Silas is too unfamiliar with it; Point is never going to let Wren go. He’d kill him before he got far. He’d fuck his corpse once he’s dead.

Wren’s naked and shivering in the boot of a car and nothing is ever going to be the same again. The end of Wren’s life is unfolding formally in the trunk of Point’s car; the only way this ends now is with Wren’s death, or with Point’s. He’s never going to let him go. There’s nobody around anymore to save him. His life, in the district, had been grey and miserable, but he hadn’t been lonely. There had been warmth.

Wren’s never going to be warm again.

He tries to scream — he makes another breathy, choking noise. In the miserable grey of the district, he wouldn’t have been able to imagine being above ground and wanting to go back under it. Now, he can’t take a full breath in and his chest buckles beneath the weight and he starts to hyperventilate in the darkness of the trunk. He wants his books, and his brother. He wants Silas. He wants his looming shadow and his protective hand on Wren’s back. He wants the way he says Wren’s name, with the faintest twang of Wren’s accent because that’s how he had learned to say it. He doesn’t want to be alone.

The world is too big and Wren is completely alone. He takes another hitching breath and his chest hitches along with it. He doesn’t want to be alone. He can’t do this alone. He can’t do this by himself.

The car screams to a stop and Wren hits his shoulder so hard he feels the pain in his wrist. When the trunk flies open above him, Wren doesn’t have time to think or react — the world is so much brighter than he can remember it being. As the trunk opens, the light is let in, and it’s like being blinded, so bright he sees spots. He can’t keep his eyes open against it, and he flinches; as he’s flinching, Point is already reaching into the trunk with him, grabbing him around the throat.

He grabs him so tightly Wren can’t breathe under his hand and he makes an empty, wheezing sort of sound. Point grins widely; he’s here with him and still, Wren’s never been so alone. He grabs at Point’s wrist, tries to pry him off, claw him away, but he presses Wren a little harder into the boot of his car and says, “shucks. You’re awful pretty when you’re scared, cowgirl.” In his other hand, he has a rag he uses to cover Wren’s mouth and his nose. It smells sweet and Wren already knows what’s coming, even before the spots burst in his vision and the light starts to get wavy, blurry. “Unfortunately,” he adds, “you’re being awfully loud back here. I’m gonna need you to be a good girl and keep quiet a little longer, baby. You can scream as loud as you need to when we get where we’re going.”

He doesn’t even have time to scream.

He’s unconscious for a very long time.

Point keeps him sedated, keeps him under, and Wren only knows this because he knows to recognize the heavy, hazy feeling once he’s finally allowed to wake up again. It’s a different sort of headache than being knocked unconscious, a heavy throb of overmedication and dehydration.

He’s still naked, still on his back, but he isn’t still in the boot. He can’t open his eyes yet, his eyelids are too heavy, and his hands are tied, this time, wrists knotted behind his back. His fingers are pushed into what feels a lot like old shag carpet. “What?” Wren says, and he doesn’t mean to. But carpet?

There’s a series of sounds Wren recognizes quickly, a door being closed then locked, then locked again, then bolted. Point says, “well, good morning, cowgirl,” to the sound of him pushing something heavy in front of the door. “You’re right on time.”

Wren still can’t open his eyes. He slurs when he says, “what are you doing?”

“I got us a room,” he answers. “You need a bath.”

“What?” Wren says. He’s having a hard time thinking. Or is Point just not making any sense? They’re in a room? He chokes on a breath in, tripped up by the weight of sedation on his chest.

Conversational, Point says, “you can scream if you want to, baby. I made sure of it. I don’t know how soundproof the walls really are, but this place charges by the hour. Nobody’s gonna come running for a screaming girl.”

Wren still can’t open his eyes and it hurts when he swallows. Slowly, he says, “why are you doing this to me?”

“What?” Point replies. He snorts. “I got you out, cowgirl. You’re gonna have a warm bath.”

“I wanna go back,” Wren slurs.

“What?” He repeats.

“I don’t wanna be here with you,” Wren says. He’s being too honest and he still can’t open his eyes. He isn’t sure where the words are coming from — not his brain, that’s for sure. “I want Silas.”

“The fuckin’ dog?” Point spits, and then he’s quiet for a long time. He’s quiet for so long that Wren finally gains the strength to open his eyes again, blinking up at Point who’s leaned in close, too close, so close it makes Wren jump. He snarls in his face and takes a fistful of his hair. “That’s too fuckin’ bad,” he seethes, “you ungrateful whore.”

The room is exactly what Point said it would be, cheap and dirty, straight out of a 70’s porno or an 80’s slasher. It’s been a long time since Wren’s thought in any sort of movie references, and maybe being above ground again is bringing it out in him, maybe it’s the sedatives, but he thinks now, for some reason, about what happens to the blondes in every cheesy 70’s porno and every gory 80’s slasher, and he thinks, fuck. Panic finally starts to seep through the sedated cracks in his chest as Point hauls him across the filthy shag carpet by his hair.

Point drags him into a bathroom that wouldn’t look out of place behind a gas station and that looks like it hasn’t been cleaned in thirty years. The bathtub is coated with grime and the rusted pipes squeal as Point turns on the water, cranks it as far as he can. Somewhere deep, the heater rumbles, and the water that shoots from the faucet steams with heat. As the tub fills, the bathroom fogs, the water simmering in the filthy tub.

Panic rises up the back of Wren’s throat. He thinks he screams, but it might be the shriek of the pipes. “Darren,” he gasps, because he can’t catch his breath around the knot in his chest, he can’t breathe. Point snarls, and he tries, “don’t — don’t do this to me, don’t — don’t —,” gets stuck in a panicked sort of loop of, “don’t, don’t, don’tdon’tdon’tdon’tdon’t—” as Point pulls him up by his hair.

Wren begs, thrashes, pleads, panics, but Point lifts him with ease and a curled lip. He throws him into the tub, into the boiling water.

Wren’s skin starts to split immediately. Like boils, it starts to burst, opening through his skin and layers of tissue, worse at his palms and the bottoms of his feet, around the sensitive skin where his wrists are bound. Point reaches for the faucet, finally turns on the cold water, but with his other hand he keeps Wren in the tub as it boils, even as the skin of his own wrist peels away in the heat. He holds Wren in the water as he flails, and the nails peel from his fingertips as he claws at Point’s arm. He shrieks when he can, but he can’t very quickly; he can feel the heat in his lungs and he can feel the way the flesh starts to bubble with it, deep in his chest where it should be safe. He can’t scream because he can’t breathe and his upper lip splits open on one side.

When the water starts to cool, Wren’s skin still steams. It doesn’t feel hot, but like razor blades, hundreds of millions of razor blades, restless under his skin. He trembles so uncontrollably water sloshes from the tub at his stillest.

“The dog isn’t around to save you anymore, cowgirl,” Point says, dipping his other hand into the tub, shutting off the water once he’s deemed it’s acceptable. “I don’t want you to think about it again. Y’hear?” He adds, mocking, and pushes Wren’s head beneath the water.

Wren still trembles with heat and he never got to take a full breath in, hitching relentlessly. He doesn’t mean to gasp but he still inhales water. His hands are still tied behind his back.

He sputters, tries to hold his breath, to push himself up, but Point doesn’t let him break the surface. Point holds his head under water until Wren’s scorched lungs start screaming in protest and his vision starts to bloom dark spots. Point holds his head under water until Wren realizes he’s going to die.

It makes him think about Twilight, which is weird, but that’s what he thinks about. It might be the only thing he really knows about drowning. That and Silas, once, saying something passive about being waterboarded. But he doesn’t think about Silas, which is also weird. He thinks about Twilight, and how Bella said that drowning was peaceful.

She fuckin’ lied. It’s chaos, actually, and a screaming ache in his chest that feels like it might split him open down the middle. And he’s in a dirty fuckin’ bathtub, which sucks, and he’s still fuckin’ naked. He’s been naked for days, weeks, and now he’s gonna die naked. How fuckin’ demeaning. How humiliating. How unfair. How many years did he spend suffering underground just to die naked in a bathtub? What the fuck is that? Why is this happening to him?

Is anybody ever gonna know what really happened to him? Legally, he’s been dead for years, he knows this for certain. Point’s always been proud of himself for having made it happen. Nobody’s ever been looking for him. Nobody above ground knows what happened to him in the district and nobody in the district will know what happened to him once he left. Wren’s gonna drown in a bathtub and nobody but Point will ever know.

Closer to the end, things do get a little more peaceful. It doesn’t hurt any less, but everything starts to get sort of fuzzy and less severe. His fingers go numb. He thinks about Silas. It hurts a lot to die, and that makes him think of Silas.

He doesn’t die, not really, but that makes him think of Silas, too. He loses consciousness in the bathtub and comes to on the filthy bathroom tile, vomiting water. Point is pushing his wet hair out of his face and his touch makes Wren vomit again. “You feel better, baby?” He coos. “All clean?”

Wren throws up more water and it’s still hot on the way up. He’s trembling so uncontrollably it makes his muscles ache. It makes him think of Silas again, of the way his hands always shook. It makes him vomit again.

With another coo, Point turns him onto his back. It takes Wren a second to catch up with his body, it takes the panic a second to breach the surface of the water and he tries to gasp, chokes on it, vomits again. “Please,” he breathes, and Point laughs. The sound of his zipper is familiar. Wren chokes again as he tries to cry out, rasps, “please.” He tries to pull himself up, to so much as lean away, but his body is so heavy and shaking so uncontrollably and his trembling hands are trapped beneath his weight.

“You’re beautiful like this,” Point tells him.

“Don’t,” Wren rasps softly. “Please.”

Just as soft, Point says, “it’s just you and me now, cowgirl. You’re all mine. You might as well start getting used to it.”

His smile is unnatural. It isn’t human. Wren vomits again, still warm where it pools in the column of his throat and the dips of his clavicle.

“When I’m done with you,” Point says, curling a hand around the back of Wren’s thigh and he cries out, his skin still feels like razor blades, Point’s touch isn’t just bruising, it’s sharp, “we’ll get back on the road. I got a house waiting for us, baby. Big farmhouse in the countryside, nice and isolated. Nobody around to hear you scream.”

“Please,” Wren rasps, his breath hitching desperately.

“Nothing you can say or do will change the fact that this is gonna happen to you,” he tells him, soft and mock soothing. “You’re going to be kept chained up like an animal. You’re going to be used thoroughly and repeatedly. You’ll know your fuckin’ place, and you’ll show me the proper respect. You may not like it, cowgirl, but you’re fuckin’ sure gonna do it. You won’t like what happens to you if you don’t. It’ll be a lot worse than a warm bath.”

Wren’s heart beats in his throat and he wishes he had died in the bathtub.

Point’s kneeling between Wren’s thighs, starts rocking against him, coos softly when the warmth of his skin makes Wren vomit again. Why was he so desperate not to die? It has to be better than this. It has to be less miserable than this.

“Please,” he whispers, rough. “No more.”

“Oh, cowgirl,” Point says, and he smiles, wide and grotesque. “You haven’t seen anything yet.”

[fenharel-babe]

Meow

Chapter 2: New Feelings and Sensations

@emmg and @thessaralka

Hope you enjoy :). Titling this is difficult like woah. I need help with chapter titles :(.

Chapters: 1

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Bloom sits on the bench where the Iron Bull is in the Herald’s Rest. He looks at her with a wide eye, while Krem is doing his best to not laugh as he drinks.

“So…a mage got you and now you’re stuck like this?”

Bloom sighs. “Yes, yes, how many times are you going to ask?”

He holds out his hands in defense and smirks. “Hey, I can’t help but ask. It’s surprising that you’re a cat. I’ve heard of a lot of weird magic and even transformation spells, but none turning someone into a cat.” He shrugs. “They usually go for something more intimidating. Like a wolf or a bear or some other big animal.”

“Like a bull, chief?” Krem says with a big grin, which only gets bigger when he sees Bull roll his eye.

“Well, yes they usually do that, but being a small animal has its advantages. You’re more nimble and can get into small places. If someone’s coming at you, why not run between their legs and suddenly get them with a nice scratch?”

He huffs. “Hate to break it to you, but a little scratch is not going to do anything, Boss."

She seems to smirk. “Maybe not pain wise, but it can get them a little distracted and open for an ally to attack. I could be a distraction, though I wouldn’t have chosen a cat to turn into.”

“If you could have chosen, what animal would you have turned into?” Krem asked, curious.

“A fox,” she answered quickly as if it were common sense.

“A fox? Why a fox?” Bull asked, also curious about why. A fox didn’t do much damage, especially through armor. They were similar to a cat to be honest.

She went quiet and thought for a few moments, trying to find the words to explain why. “Well, it’s just my favorite animal, and they’re small and known for being sneaky. They can blend into surroundings easy."

Bull goes to respond, but the door to the Herald’s Rest opens and a few soldiers come in. They’re most likely on their break from running drills with Cullen, and they’re loud.

Bloom suddenly feels a huge headache. It was quiet before, or at least at a decent volume for a cat’s hearing sensitivity, but now it was loud and too much. Her hearing was more sensitive due to her form, another thing she hated. She put her paws over her ears, and tried to ignore them, but it didn’t help. She needed to get out.

“Sorry, but I-I have to go,” she said before she jumped down and ran up the stairs. She remembered Sera had a room in there, so she would surely let her in?

She ran to the door and clawed at it relentlessly. She meowed loudly, almost like a shout. She felt relief crash through her when the door opened to reveal Sera. “What? Who is scratching-“. She looked down and chuckles. “Ohhh, it’s you.” She opened the door and let her in, laughing when she saw her climb onto the bench she slept on and hid under a pillow. “Aww, you a little shy in this form?” She shut the door and sat next to her.

“It’s too loud down there,” she said quietly, trying to not speak louder to set her senses off again. It was quieter, more muffled up here. Better, but not great.

Sera tilted her head. “I mean, yeah. It’s our tavern. Drunk and loud people basically live here.”

“I know…but I didn’t expect my hearing to be so sensitive. It wasn’t like that earlier.”

Sera didn’t really know what to do. This was weird magic shit, not something she could do anything about. She got up and stepped out into the hallway and called out, “Creepy! Come here, a cat needs your help!”

Bloom didn’t know who she was calling to, but then she heard Cole’s voice. Of course she would call him ‘Creepy’.

“Speak softer, her head is filled with noise and chaos,” Cole said quietly. He kneeled down by Bloom’s hiding space. “Can I pick you up? I can take you some place safe. Somewhere better.”

She didn’t want to be touched or hear anything, but the thought of going some place else sounded fantastic. She moved from behind the pillow and let Cole pick her up. Within the blink of an eye, they were suddenly in the rotunda. Solas sat at the desk, reading something and looked up when he heard Cole appear.

He almost never seemed surprised by Cole’s random appearances.

“It was too loud in the tavern, and it hurts. Can’t you make it better?” Cole said quietly.

Solas got up and walked over, gently taking her from him and into his arms. As soon as he does, Cole is gone, like normal.

“What happened?” Solas asked, his voice soft with concern.

She hid her face under his arm. “It was too loud all of a sudden. I was talking to Bull fine, but then people came in and it got too loud. I-I couldn’t take it.”

He runs his hand down her back in a soothing motion and hums. “Hm, I understand.” He places his hand on her head, and whispers something quietly. She felt his magic flow through her and it felt like someone put some cat ear muffs around her ears. She could still hear, but it was more muffled than before. The ravens above were quiet, the nobles weren’t audible anymore, and the only thing she could hear well was Solas’s heartbeat. A tune she loved to listen to.

She pulls her head out and stands up on her hind legs to rub her face against his, purring loudly. She couldn’t hear, but she could feel it. She then licks his cheek making him chuckle. “Thank you, Vhenan. It feels a lot better.”

“Anything to help.” He kissed the top of her head and wiped his mouth with an annoyed noise. “Cat hair.” He sighed and moved to lay her down on the couch. “I look forward to when this spell is broken.” He looked down and tried to brush off the cat hair stuck to his sweater and leggings, but it was pointless. “I want to spend time with you without getting hair all over me.”

She chuckled and laid down, tucking her paws underneath her, making her look like a loaf of bread. “I can’t wait to be normal either. I have much work to do and I’m tired of eating and drinking out of a bowl.” She scowled. “Don’t get me started on going to the bathroom.”

He gently pet her head. “I’m sorry this has happened. But I do have some good news. I believe I’ve found a spell to fix this. We can try it out tomorrow.”

She perked up at that. “Really? Thank the Maker.”

“I must still study the spell to make sure we have everything we need, so how about you sleep while I work? I’ll wake you when it’s time to eat dinner.”

She smiled and then flopped onto her side, and curled into a ball. Solas, though he wished to kiss her head or pet her, left her alone and let her fall into a deep sleep.

.

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Later That Night After Dinner

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When the moon rose and the sun set, Solas decided to finally work on his new mural. He'd outlined the design and gotten the paints mixed and ready days ago, but had been...occupied recently. Even before this situation started.

Only a few days ago had he told Bloom he loved her, right on the balcony in her room that once was his. He walked away, afraid to keep talking in that moment, only for her to find him later that day with a smirk on her face. Ever since then, they had spent more time together out of the field. Whether it be in the gardens, in her quarters, in the Fade, or in the Rotunda. It was...nice. Better than nice, truly, but he didn't know what words could describe the way he felt at the time. 'Nice' would have to do for the time being.

But he shouldn’t feel nice. He shouldn’t feel anything for her at all.

He looked over at Bloom resting on the couch, stomach full and body tired from the day. He knew this spell was annoying her, which is why he worked hard to fix this. He wanted to hold her in his arms again, feel her lips against his, even though he shouldn't want it. But he's only a man. A weak, weak man when it came to her.

He turned back to his mural and started to get back to it, finishing the outline with light lines. The rest of the night passed with Solas ignoring his inner turmoil and occasionally looking over his shoulder to see Bloom sleeping peacefully.

.

The next morning, Bloom woke to the sunshine in her face, making her groan and roll over. She curled around herself and buried her face in a small pillow. "No...I don't want to get up yet," she mumbled. She leaned up, her eyes still closed, and pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and tucked herself in.

Wait.

She gasped loudly and opened her eyes. She sat up and looked down at herself and saw a body. She had hands, legs, and when she felt her face she had one! "YES!" She shouted with excitement. She got up and immediately ran up to the library, hoping Dorian would be there since Solas was nowhere in the rotunda.

When she got to the library, she saw Dorian in his chair, looking over at her with wide eyes. "Maker, is that Bloom? In the flesh?"

She ran over to him and jumped up and down with eagerness in front of him. She grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "Dorian! I'm finally back to normal!"

He grabbed her hands to stop her and held them in front of him. He looked up at her and winced. "Well, not completely normal, Petal."

She tilted her head. "W-What do you mean?"

He pointed up to her head, and she saw him hold back a grin. "You have...cat ears. On your head." He looked behind her and failed to hide his grin that time. "And you have a tail."

She reached up and touched her ears, and then looked behind herself to see, as Dorian informed, a cat tail. She looked back at him and groaned, burying her face in her hands as she flopped down in her chair by the window. "You've got to fucking kidding me."

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[princessmisery666]

Fries, Goodbyes & The Rest Of Our Lives

Summary: Being stood up isn’t always a bad thing. 

Warnings/Genre etc.: Fluff, lousy singing. 

W/C: 2k

Characters: Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw, Mentions/Small Parts: Natasha ‘Phoenix’ Trace, Mickey ‘Fanboy’ Garcia, Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd, Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin, Harvard. 

Pairing: Rooster x Fem!Reader (you - no descriptions of body type or ethnicity).

Notes: I saw this post on Instagram, and it immediately made me think of Rooster. Songs: Is This Love by White Snake, Can’t Take My Eyes Off You by Frankie Valli.

A/N: the wonderful and brilliant @writercole helped with ideas, summary, and title and helped make the muses comply. 

Betas: @deanwinchesterswitch

Master Lists: Top Gun: Maverick // All The Fandoms

Fries, Goodbyes & The Rest Of Our Lives

It’s been a week. It’s not even worth listing all the things that went wrong. The icing on the cake (presumably made with salt and not sugar - cause it's that kind of week) was your date canceled on you as you took a seat at a booth in the diner.

You sigh as the waitress comes to take your order, accepting that you’ve been stood up and decide you may as well eat since you’re already there.

“I’ll take a cheeseburger, side salad, no tomato, extra dressing, please.” 

The elderly waitress smiles. It’s comforting and sweet. Her name tag says Pattie, and you imagine her grandkids get overly excited whenever Granny Pat visits. “You want the fries with that?”

You ponder for half a second before declining, “No thanks.”

“You sure, hun? They’re included in the price.”

You had dirty Cajun fries from the food cart outside the office at lunch. You know the diner’s fries won’t taste as good, besides you want to leave room for dessert, so you politely decline again. 

“I’ll take them, Pattie!”

You twist in the booth to look over your shoulder and find the source. A handsome guy sitting at the bar, wearing a light yellow floral print shirt, smiles and gives a two-fingered wave. You’d clocked him when you’d entered. You’d caught his eye too, and he’d given you a broad smile. His mustache was a flashback to a decade or two ago, but he wore it well. He carried it with a sense of pride and confidence. It looked good on him. Anyone else, you’d have thought it was creepy.

“Hush now, boy,” Pattie scolds, but she’s smiling when she turns back to face you.

You chuckle, nodding toward him, “He’ll take the fries.”

Pattie takes your menu and disappears to the kitchen. You look at Mr. Mustache, who tips his beer bottle to you before bringing it to his lips.

You grab your phone and message the “No Scrubs” group. 

You: Stood up again. Where you guys at?

Cole: At that navy bar I was telling you about. Come meet us.

You: I’ve just ordered dinner. Will see how I feel after.

You scroll social media while you wait. Pattie comes by a few times, brings cutlery and sauces, and refreshes your drink. 

You hear the bell ring to signal an order’s ready, and your mouth waters when you see Pattie heading toward you. The burger looks delicious. The brioche bun glistens under the lights as the cheese melts over the edge onto the plate. It's so tall there’s a wooden skewer through the top to keep it in place, and the fries are fat and look perfectly crispy.  

Pattie sets the plate down, “Enjoy, sweetheart,” and you swallow before drool slips out.

Just as you pull the skewer out of the burger, you hear, “Those are mine, remember.”

You laugh, twisting to look at him again. He’s got a cheerful smirk, but his brow is raised as if challenging you. “Why don’t you join me?” you offer. 

He grabs his beer and twists off his stool. The smile remains while he saunters over, and you can’t take your eyes off him, admiring the sway of his hips. He’s confident in an almost bashful way. The open floral shirt shows a white shirt beneath it, and the contrast against his tanned skin looks as edible as your burger. 

“Tell me,” he says, grabbing a fry and biting off the end. “What kind of psychopath doesn’t have fries with their burger?”

You shrug, “The same kind that offers to take a stranger's fries.”

“Touché,” he chuckles. 

You laugh, explaining, “I had fries at lunch and want dessert.”

 He nods as if now understanding your logic. “Ah, she’s got a sweet tooth.” 

“I’ve heard that the chocolate malt here is the best in the state. I can’t pass that up,” you grin.

“Well, that is true,” he shrugs, popping another fry into his mouth. “Make or break question here, whipped cream on top of the shake?”

“I fear this will affect our budding friendship,” you tease, “but ab-so-lutely whipped cream on top of the shake. Among other places,” you wink. 

His boldness flounders for half a second, recognizing he’s met his match, but he recovers quickly. Wetting his lips and giving a cheeky smile. “Are you flirting with me?” 

“Depends.” 

“On what?”

“I don’t see a ring, and you’re here alone. Are you single?”

“Yes.”

“Then yes, I’m definitely flirting with you.”

His smile widens and remains while the conversation flows and the two of you eat. Flirtations and laughter pass back and forth effortlessly.

Your phone chimes with another message, and you see the ‘No Scrubs’ group chat has two unread messages. You don’t want to be rude and pick it up to reply, but you know if you don’t, they’ll likely call to make sure you’re okay. 

“Somewhere else you need to be?” he asks, a hint of disappointment in his voice that he attempts to hide behind a sip of beer.

“No, just some friends trying to get me to go meet them at some Navy bar.” You roll your eyes and type a quick ‘maybe’ before locking your phone, setting it face down on the table.

“Navy bar? The Hard Deck?” he questions, tilting his head to the side.

“I think that’s what Cole said. Do you know it?”

“That’s actually where I’m headed after. I could give you a ride. If you need one, that is.”

“I don’t even know your name.”

“It’s Bradley, but my friends call me Rooster.”

“Rooster?” you laugh. “Please tell me there’s a good story there.”

“There might be. I guess that depends on if you want to hear it.”

“How about you tell me on the way to the bar?”

The open window lifts your hair slightly, and every time Rooster gets a hit of your perfume, he inhales deeply, savoring it. 

He sticks to the speed limit, if not a little below it. He’s not quite ready to say goodbye to you. He’s never had such an instant, effortless connection with someone, and he wants to make it last as long as possible.

You’d laughed at the story about his name. You’d have never guessed that it was a nickname his uncle gave him when he was a kid. The radio is playing at a low volume, but as soon as the opening bars of Is This Love by White Snake start, you lean over and crank the volume as loud as it will go, singing along as if he isn’t there.

“Is this love that I'm feeling?” you sing, holding a pretend microphone. “Is this the love that I've been searching for? Is this love, or am I dreaming? This must be love. 'Cause, it's really got a hold on me. A hold on me.” 

You can’t hold a tune, and your voice cracks a few times, but still, you belt it out with vigor, and Rooster thinks he may be falling in love. Did Pattie put something in those fries? 

“Sorry,” you say, settling back into your seat, “that’s one of my favorites.” 

It’s one of my favorites now too. But he doesn’t say it. Instead, he laughs, “I never would’ve guessed.”

“Are you not a car karaoke kinda guy?” you ask. “You seem like you like to sing along.” 

“I’ve been known to hold a few car concerts,” he admits, “but I didn’t want to interrupt your flow.” 

“Can you sing as good as me?”

He looks at you and sees the jesting expression. You know you can’t sing, and you don’t care one little bit.

“I’d love to serenade you,” he says, “but unfortunately, we’re here.”

“Some other time?” you ask, and he swears you sound hopeful.

Rooster opens the Hard Deck door, and as soon as he hears the hustle and bustle from inside, he wishes he’d suggested you stay at the diner. Holding the door open, he gestures for you to enter first, and you smile a thanks as you pass by.

You stop a few feet inside, scanning the room as he stands beside you. This is the one time he hopes Hangman is being himself and has, by some miracle, coaxed your friends over to the group so Rooster has an excuse to keep talking to you. 

“Those are my friends over there,” you say, dashing all his hopes as you point to the pool tables on the opposite side of the room. 

“I’m over there,” Rooster says, pointing to where the Dagger squad is assembled. 

“Thanks for the ride.”

“Thanks for the fries.” 

“Anytime.” 

“Enjoy the rest of your night.” 

“You too.” 

There’s a pause, neither of you knowing what to do. You rise to the tips of your toes, and he dips to let you place a gentle kiss on his cheek. 

His cheeks quickly flush, hearing the jeers, shouts, and wolf whistles, but you drop back down with a laugh.

“Sorry,” he says. “They’re a bunch of idiots.”

He scolds himself for being an idiot as you walk away. He should invite you over or ask for your number, but he’s suddenly tongue-tied. He stares at you, frozen to the spot, long enough to see your friends turn to look at him as you settle into your seat.

Throughout the night, flirtatious glances are passed back and forth, and smiles exchanged when they linger. Of course, it’s Hangman who notices the consequence of Rooster’s error. 

“Looks like you lose again, Rooster,” the blond pilot remarks, a way too smug grin showing off his perfectly white teeth. “Too snug on that perch, and Harvard is gonna take your lady right out from under your beak.”

Rooster doesn’t care if it proves Hangman’s point. He looks directly at you. Harvard is whispering in your ear. You're smiling, but Rooster thinks it's more of a polite, courteous smile than genuine interest. 

But it’s the kick he needs to take action. He looks to Phoenix, Bob, and Mickey, almost pleading, “I need your help.” 

Phoenix nods once, Bob smiles, and Mickey asks, “What?”

“He wants to do the Goose move,” Phoenix explains without Bradley needing to tell her any more. 

“What’s the Goose move?”

“It’s the move his Dad did to get his Mom,” Bob says. 

“I don’t know what that is,” Mickey shrugs. 

“Technically, we've been doing it for years,” Rooster says, “it’s just that this time, it involves my future wife.”

“So, no pressure,” Bob gulps. 

“Relax. I’ve got a plan,” Phoenix winks, gesturing for the three guys to come closer.

Harvard doesn’t seem all that smart, and you wonder if it's an ironic nickname or callsign, as Rooster had explained. Harvard certainly doesn’t understand body language. You’ve tried, unsuccessfully, to put some distance between you three times. The third time he slides his arm around your shoulders. 

Before you can shrug, his arm slips off, and suddenly, a pretty brunette woman is in his place. “Hi,” she says brightly, her back to a flustered-looking Harvard. “I’m Phoenix, and this is Fanboy. We’re friends with Rooster.” 

Butterflies dance in your stomach. Before she can say anymore or you have a chance to wonder why he’s sent his friends to rescue you, the jukebox cuts off, and a collective groan echoes around the room. 

“That was supposed to happen,” Phoenix smiles. Fanboy is speaking quietly to Harvard, and he doesn’t seem happy about whatever is being said, but you're grateful for the interruption. 

There’s a soft twinkling from a piano somewhere in the room, and after a few more notes, you find the source. Phoenix continues, “That’s Bob, and you’ve met Rooster.” 

Your eyes drift up from the piano player and land on Bradley, fingers tapping the wooden top, while Bob continues to find the right melody.

Rooster’s eyes are locked on you, a shy smirk lifting the corner of his mustache. 

“Thanks for the save,” you say to Phoenix but keep your eyes on Rooster. 

“Well, it wasn’t the actual intention, but Harvard can be a bit…” she trails off.

“Thick?” 

“That’s a good word for him,” she laughs.

The bright random notes turn into a clear, rich melody that flows through the room moments before the smooth baritone of Rooster’s voice fills the air. “You’re just too good to be true. Can’t take my eyes off of you.”

Damn, he can sing! 

Taking the lyrics literally, he doesn’t avert his eyes while he serenades you. You feel Phoenix’s hand at your elbow, but you can’t look away from the gorgeous man belting out a song just for you. Only when he draws closer do you realize she’s guiding you to him. 

The bar is packed, and the crowd gathers around the piano, but somehow Rooster is always in your line of sight, and then Fanboy is in front of you, splitting the crowd to let you through. 

It feels surreal but magical when somehow there’s a clear path straight to Rooster. It looks like an aisle leading to an altar, and the man that awaits you has been sent from the heavens because he’s gorgeous, kind, funny, and clearly has a talent for commanding a room. You wonder what else you could uncover, given some time.

“At long last, love has arrived,” Rooster sings as you reach his side. Phoenix slips away as you reach for Bradley’s outstretched hand. 

Definitely an altar, and you’ll happily worship here for eternity. Interlocking your fingers with his, he pulls you against him. “Now that I found you, stay,” it’s more than a song, it's a question, and you nod. 

Slowly, he inches closer, and the crowd takes over, singing the chorus, when his lips connect with yours and the world melts away. 

Tag List Info

Take To The Skies: @alexxavicry / @b3autyfuldisast3r / @fandom-princess-forevermore / @imjess-themess / @justagirlinafandomworld / @leigh70 / @letsbys-library / @shanimallina87 / @wildbornsiren / @writercole / @xoxabs88xox / @atarmychick007

Master Lists: Top Gun: Maverick // All The Fandoms

[new-berry]

Don’t know if I want to call this We are six and eight and ten as a sort of play in the idea of youth and growing up and also their shirt numbers? Or call this Distant Embraces.

Honestly been looking for an excuse to use that as a title. But the first one

Although if I could think of a middle child title without it being a joke that could work as well. NSFW not true Lewis Miley /Jobe Bellingham creepy Jobe/AG. Anyway. Another threesome. Sort of.

Anthony’s hands crunch over the bannister. His hands clenched tight around it. He’s hidden under layers of hoodies and sweats, but Lewis wonders if he could see his body if he would be tense like before a game.

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Anthony jerks his chin, sharp in the half light of the entryway, in Lewis’s direction.

“I invited him.” There’s a touch of defiance in Jobe’s tone. A taunt.

“Go home,” Anthony turns, “I’ll call you an Uber.”

“If he goes I go.” Jobe’s got more than a hint of defiance in his voice, there’s a challenge as well.

“So go,” Anthony doesn’t look at them “take a car,” this right to Lewis, “and pick me up before training.”

Jobe pushes past both of them, Lewis shrugs and walks behind him, Anthony’s swearing as they move past. Jobe grabs Lewis’s hand and pulls him down on the couch.

There are a dozen places Lewis could be. Sitting at home on the couch reviewing the under 21's match notes. Calling his girlfriend, jerking off to porn. Wanking while his girlfriend talks. Speaking to his mum and dad. His brothers are on read. Mason’s rambles about the contract that will be announced soon. Jamie complaining about the league and game time.

Lewis bites his tongue not to talk about PSG to them. He talks to his dad and for a moment he can feel it bubbling up and he feels as unprepared as he should be. Until Andy runs his hand over the hip that ended his career. Then Lewis laces his lips shut with his teeth until he thinks they will bleed.

He wonders of anyone will check he’s home. Thinks about his flat. About texting Michelle and taking Anthony’s car and picking her up. Thinks about fucking her on the bed he’s barely slept in. Thinks about Jobe in the car next to him. Talking to his father tired and happy, the chapter and verse of their last game, that he was crashing with a friend. The soft deep affection of the ‘love you dad’ he ended the call with.

Lewis sits next to Jobe on the sofa. He’s never been here before. But he’s been in this house. Anthony’s place looks like Tripp’s, looks like Callum’s, like Dan’s.

White furniture and white walls and big windows that lead to either the garden or another glassed in room. The pale couch has evenly spaced white cushions and one smaller rectangular pillow with The Beatles across it in black. The couch exactly opposite has the same except the smaller pillow says The Cavern Club in cursive writing.

There’s not room for three, not when they are their size anyway - Lewis remembers Jobe saying once; ‘I’m taller than me brother now! He’s cool about it, says I can’t borrow his clothes now.’ Jobe’s teeth are gleaming white as he smiles for the punch line ‘so everytime he gets something he gets me one as well.’

Anthony shoves between the two of them. Jobe doesn’t move over, he sprawls more, leg pressed against Anthony.

Lewis keeps waiting for one of them to say something. Tension hovering over their bodies. But Jobe just calmly watches them both and Anthony is staring fixedly ahead.

His shirt is soft against Lewis’s arms and he can feel the hairs rising up, he left his jacket at the bar. Nothing he’s attached to, probably has a sports brand on it somewhere. Left behind with some mints in the pocket and the numbers and Instagram names that seem to make their way into his pockets these days.

Lewis rubs his hand over his forearm to chase the tickle of anticipation that is hovering. He’s not even sure what it is in anticipation for. Jobe had run finger slowly over the number that Lewis had tattooed on his arm. ‘I could never,’ he said. ‘My mum doesn’t like them and Jude doesn’t have any.’

‘What about when we win the World Cup?’ Jobe laughed then, fingers digging down for a second before he picked up his phone again. ‘When huh?’ In the quiet of night at St George’s anything seemed possible. ‘When we win the World Cup, a little one where it’s hard to see.’ Jobe met his eyes for a minute. ‘Where people would only see if I wanted them to.’

[marimayscarlett]

You’ve probably answered this before but I am kind of new here so I’ll ask again: how and when did you become a fan of Rammstein?

For me it was my best friends mom, she has an entire dedicated to the band and she took us with her to see a tribute band, which was cool and all, then I got my first mp3 player and asked the mom for audio files of the cds (ripping was a possibility then) because I liked rock and metal, I had my dads old Iron Maiden, Nirvana, Roling Stones cd’s etc already on it :) Plus is German class at the same time in high school, Sonne was played as an example of German music, which was very cool. Since then I am a listener. Was unfortunately too expensive at the time to go the MIG tour, my first time was festival tour 2016! And since then I have been every time they were in the ‘area’. And when Paul announced the break this year, I felt lost because aside from 2018 and the covid years I have seen them each year and was wondering how to survive without and started looking for the online fandom! And now I am here!🖤

Hi and thank you so much for your lovely message! I always enjoy reading and hearing how others found their way to the band and into the fandom! 🤲🏻

I mentioned my own story here and there briefly, but this asks gives me the opportunity to delve a little deeper 🙂‍↕️

Growing up as a kid in 90's and early 2000's Germany, it was almost impossible to avoid the band. Rammstein was a name that was always present, and while "Du hast" was the band's flagship song worldwide, "Engel" was THE Rammstein song that everyone in Germany knew (and still knows). I can remember hearing that song on the radio as far back as I can think.

Now things are about to get random: When I was around 11/12 years old, I was already neck deep in my fantasy/vampire phase, and I desperately wanted to watch something truly scary, like the cool kids. My mother didn’t allow me to watch horror movies, but she had another idea and showed me the video for "Du riechst so gut." I instantly fell head over heels for the song and had it on my MP3 player since I was 12 😊. However, I found the video so creepy, and as a child, I was terrified of Paul with his red eyes for ages 🫢

(gif source)

My third Rammstein song was "Stripped," which my father showed me. I was also introduced to the music video, kind of as an educational tool for Leni Riefenstahl, as my parents explained to me that while her film footage is very controversial due to her ideology (rightfully so), they were once considered highly aesthetic.

I saw Rammstein live for the first time in 2013 at the Southside Festival. I wasn’t a full fan yet, but I was incredibly excited to hear "Du riechst so gut" live. And I remember that all the Rammstein fans around me were incredibly kind and friendly, giving each other plenty of space to dance 😊.

Here comes another random but vital moment: I used to cosplay a lot and attend various conventions, one of them being Gamescom in Cologne. In 2015, after a particularly exhausting convention day, a friend and I came home in the evening and spent the night vegetating on the couch, clicking through YouTube, until we came across a video titled "Ich will" by Rammstein. Since I was somewhat familiar with the band by then, I was curious, so we clicked on it. And well:

That guy comes on screen and that was it for me.

Since then, Rammstein has become an inseparable part of my life. I’ve seen them live several times in 2017, 2023, and 2024, made wonderful friends through the fandom, and kind of met my husband with the help of this band (the first conversation we ever had was about Till's newly released album "Skills in Pills" in 2015 🤭)

This band has given me so much, brought me a lot of joy and distraction, pushed me to educate myself on various topics, and simply feels like a musical home for me.

Sometimes it’s not easy being a Rammstein fan (for various reasons), but I can’t imagine my life without them anymore 🤍

If anyone wants, feel free to share with with your experience on how you found your way to Rammstein 🤲🏻

[holylulusworld]

Cocky matchmaker

Title: Cocky matchmaker

Request fill for @hannibals-favourite-meal​ for my 16.666 followers celebration

Rating: Mature

Summary: Dean takes matters in his hands.

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Plussized!Reader

Warnings: fluff, flirting, idiots in love, mutual pining, mentions of deaths (no description)

16.666 followers celebration masterlist

“So, get this, Y/N,” Sam tries to get your attention. He doesn’t need to try, though. Your head immediately snaps toward the hunter and your eyes become glassy as Sam smiles softly at you. “I found this old mansion they turned into a motel. They call it the murder mystery motel because almost twenty people got killed at this place.”

“Sammy, your fetish is shining through again,” Dean smirks as you get up to move your chair closer to Sam. “Do you remember the last time we ended up at a serial killer’s place?”

“It’s not a fetish,” Sam makes a face. “I’m just interested in the history of crime and violence.”

“Who killed all the people?” you ask, wanting to turn Sam’s attention back toward you, not his cocky brother. “Sam?”

“The better question is, sweetheart,” Dean snickers as his brother grunts, “what do you mean with almost twenty?”

“Eighteen bodies got found…and a half,” Sam shrugs. “One person is still missing. The detectives are not sure if the man killed his wife and ran, or if he fell victim to the mansion too.”

“You mean he fell victim to some crazy serial killer or a ghost, not the mansion.”

“After everything you saw Dean you still think a house cannot kill a man,” you ask.

“A house doesn’t kill you, Y/N,” Dean explains, “it’s a ghost or a monster. Never the house. Except it falls on your head and squishes you. Then it was the house.”

“DEAN!” Sam mutters. “Y/N was about to eat her lunch.”

“Oh-I’m no sensitive, Sam,” you softly speak while patting his hand. Your touch lingers until Dean clears his throat.

“If you want me to leave for a while, tell me so,” the elder hunter grins.

“What? I—” you nervously shift on your seat as Dean watches you pat his brother’s hand. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

Dean sighs deeply. He’s just done watching you and his brother pine for each other.

“If you say so, Y/N. Maybe you and Sammy should check that mansion out. Together.”

“We should?” Sam furrows his brows. “You don’t want to tag along, Dean? I thought you love creepy places.”

“I got a hot date,” Dean lies. “Trust me, checking out a creepy place is the last thing I want to do this week. You got my number. If anything happens, give me a call.”

“Hmm…this can’t be right,” Sam looks at the address scribbled on a piece of paper and back at the motel in front of him. “Honeymoon Hearts?”

“This doesn’t look like the motel you were talking about,” you feel your cheeks heat up as you look at the motel. “Sam, do you want to tell me something?”

“I—” the hunter frowns. He thumbs through the search history on his phone, huffing as the address is not the same as he noted on the piece of paper. “I don’t know what happened, Y/N. I looked the address up and noted it. But we are…I don’t know where we even are.”

“It looks nice,” you squeal. “Look, they have buffet, a whirlpool, and uh… I bet they got all this romantic crap. Maybe even soft pillows. Don’t you think? I knew you wouldn’t forget about Valentine’s Day. Dean was right!”

Sam smiles softly as you excitedly look up at him. “What did Dean say?” Sam watches you hurriedly walk toward the motel to get the best room. “Y/N? What did he say?”

The hunter sighs. He unlocks his phone again to call his brother. Sam closes his eyes and counts to ten.

“What’s up, Sammy?” Sam can hear the smirk in Dean’s voice. “Did you already make a move? I hope so! I booked the most expensive room for the two of you including a hot tub.”

“What did you do, Dean?”

“Sammy, you are pining for Y/N for almost a year now. It’s Valentine’s Day. Love is in the air,” Dean snickers as Sam groans deeply. “Do I have to give you the talk about bees and flowers again or do you know how to make a move on her?”

“I know how to make a move,” Sam bites his tongue as you walk back toward the hunter. “Which name did you use this time?”

“Mr. and Mrs. …” Dean laughs loudly, “Pine,” the hunter hangs up the phone before Sam can yell at him.

“Sam, that guy said we got a reservation. Dude even got a picture of us,” you say. “Why did you use the name, Pine?”

“Dean tried to be funny,” Sam tries to explain his brother tricked you and him. “I’m sorry. I know you wanted to visit the creepy motel.”

“Dude, they got a whirlpool and heart-shaped boxes of chocolates ! I bet they got vibrating beds too. I love a good back massage,” you nod to yourself.

“You do?” Sam licks his lips. “I can give you a massage. My hands are…uh…”

“Your hands,” you stare at Sam’s large hands, whimpering as you imagine feeling them on your body. “Do you…do you like using your hands?”

Sam would like to tell you he dreams of putting his hands on you for months.

“How about we go to the room Dean booked and find out if I’m good at giving back massages?”

“Sam?” you whisper.

“Yeah, Y/N?”

Sam watches you step closer to place your hands on his chest. “It’s Valentine’s Day and I want you to know that I…”

“I like you a lot,” Sam hastily says before you can admit your feelings. “It’s more than that. I mean…would you like to go on a date with me?”

“Sammy,” you giggle, “we are standing in front of a romantic honeymoon motel. I think we can call this our first date.”

“Y/N, I want our first date to be special. I’ll take you out to your favorite restaurant and we can have ice cream. Or we can go and watch a movie.”

Sam looks you up and down, biting his lower lip as his eyes land on your chest.

“Sammy, do you like what you see?” You grin as Sam roams your body with hungry eyes.

“Very much, baby girl,” he cups your face with his large hands, making you shiver. “Can I show you how much?”

He swallows your answer with his lips, taking away all the doubts you had. You wanted to confess your feelings for so long, always afraid Sam doesn’t like your body.

“I like what I see too.”

When you come back from your short vacation, holding hands with Sam his brother smirks like the cat that got the cream. He proudly puffs his chest, waiting for his brother and you to thank him.

“About time you put your hands on that girl! I feared I must lock you in the dungeon together…”

“Thank you, Dean,” you blow your friend a kiss. “You were right…”

“Sweetheart, I’m always right,” the cocky matchmaker leans back in his chair and puts his feet on the table. “My job here is done. Just use protection…”

Tags in reblog.

[judging-films-of-all-kinds]

Transformers: Revenge of The Fallen

I haven’t seen this one a long time, but I remember it better than the first one

Optimus is back in the intro 

“Our worlds have met before.” Not haunting at all

That title was quick and smooth!

“Suck my popsicle!” Hahah nice

“His here. I smell him.” I wonder how that works

OH THAT IS A BIG ONE Lol the twins really are brothers

“Man I’m good.” Yes you are Irionhide

OPTIMUS PRIME HERE WITH THE SICK LANDING

“Pull over!” …. Lol Optimus thank you for keeping your sense of humor

“You’ll learn that in college too.” Sir what else did you learn? 

Wow… They really made her sit like that to paint the bike. Taking points from that

Love how they show the symbols being planted into Sam’s brain. That is really cool

Oh great, the blender is alive. Just what we need! Wait… did they just-? They did! Omg the adult jokes in this movie XD

And they just fixed the yard too! Poor Bee just wanting to help

“I want a pool and hot tube! I’m going to skinny dip and you can’t say shit!” Starting to think someone was a bit wild back in her day lol

“You are an autobot! You shouldn't be living in my dad’s garage. You are suffocating.”  Awww Sam

….. Huh okay not expectating Sam to touch Bee’s chin to make him look at him

Sam you aren’t normal and never will be

No idea if Bee is being dramatic or he really is crying. Either way I’m glad it was added to the movie

“I love you, Bee.” and he loves you too Bee

Wow Sam you can tell Bumblebee you love him but not your girlfriend? 

Wheelie :3 

DUDE!! Soundwave’s design is so cool! A one of a kind big time

As a sibling I have heard and said “It’s meant to hurt!” after causing harm to sibling

It’s actually nice that they added the coffins being taken off the plane to show that death is still a huge threat in this movie

As Optimus transforms the music is not holy but more upbeat like a hero kind of deal. Very fitting 

“God made us in his image. Who made him?” Good and fair question. Humans always think they are so amazing till we meet something greater then ourselves

“Don’t tempt me.” Yeah I got mad for you buddy. Don’t disrespect the people that fight for you

I love Optimus looking down at him and saying, “Easy.” He knows he was getting angry. Optimus knows his comrades, even his human ones

“What if we leave, then you are wrong.” THE SOUNDTRACK! That fits so well with his low key warning

“That’s a good question” Awww he's such a cutie!

Sam meeting his new human bestie :D 

DID THE PAPPER THIN CON CUT THROUGH THAT GUY?!

“What size shoe you have?” Haha Sam the Sass Queen is back lol

I love how Optimus main goal is to keep earth safe. He doesn’t want to watch it be ruined like his own home was. Sam just wants to be normal. He doesn’t want this. While they are talking, soft music is playing. Showing the burden both carry and what awaits them. 

MEGATRON LIVES AGAIN Okay this is really cool. We see Megatron put Starscream in his place. Then we see him showing respect to The Fallen. Going as far as calling him master. The Fallen even calls him “my disciple”

I wonder how The Fallen knew that Sam has the knowledge now

Man the CGI in this movie is so good

Poor Sam. He has all that knowledge in his head and his mind can’t handle it

“You're such a little girl!” “I’m not talking to you for ten seconds.” Yeah I wouldn’t either. Good on you Sam. 

What I love about Megatron is that his voice is creepy and yet gentle

Sorry I had to skip the worm part. That was just gross. That lost points for me lol

GET HIM OPTIMUS

The slow down for the bullet is so good

The chanting as the cons chase Optimus and Sam is so good

Why did Sam jump over the log like that? 

“I’ll take you all on!” and cue the uplifting music

That head rip is sooo good

“Sam! Where are you?!” You can hear the fear in his voice. All he knows is Sam has already been taken or worse

“Sam, run. Run..” Even in his last moments Optimus is worried about Sam

Man… I can’t even imagine the guilt Sam must be feeling at that moment…

Sam watching the news with such pain on his face…. He just wanted to be normal

I love the twins so much lol

DON”T DROP OPTIMUS PRIME LIKE THAT

I hate that guy

Yes please give Sam a hug. Sam this isn’t your fault. This will never be your fault

“Don’t tell my mother.” Said every child in history

Ha! Wheelie is the best again. Wait, is that even his name? 

I love how no one bothered to check if the old fart was a con or a bot lol

I love the sound Jetfire makes as he wakes up. His such as old fart, I love him

HA! Leo pushing Wheelie away while they are hiding 

Grumpy old man on the run! “It’s a choice. It’s an intensely personal decision. So much negativity. Who wants to live a life full of hate.” Old man spiting knowledge 

“His faithful, Sam.” Girl I love you but what happened wasn’t Sam’s fault

Wheelie stop humping her you horn dog

“I have my own issues! It started with my mother!” Me too buddy

“Do you know what he transformed into?!” “No!”

“Nothing!”

Haha I love this movie so much

Haha everyone is going flying. Well done Jetfire

MORE LORE

“Only a Prime can defeat The Fallen.”

“Optimus Prime?”

“So, you’ve met a Prime?”

I’m not crying! I have sand in my eyes! 

Man Jetfire’s excitement about hearing a Prime was on Earth is so sweet. He sounds really young with how excited he is. 

Grandpa pointing out the obvious 

“Scared? Scared of your ugly face!” “I’m ugly? Well, we’re twins, you stupid genius!” Perfect sibling insults

Bumblebee is “I don’t care who started it! I’m finishing it!” Big brother at work lol

Oh god the siblings fighting was useful for once

Ohhh that soft haunting sound… Music is stunning as always

It gets louder once the matrix is seen

Sam not giving up is so.. Man… Once he believes in something, he will not back down from it

BAD BOYS ARE HERE Go Jetfire! He still got it! “I’m too old for this crap.” Me everyday 

The balls that started it all

Oh no! Sam! The soft music, the faded voices, everything slowed down… Then you hear his parents' cries. All they know is that their son is hurt. They don’t know he's gone. 

Then there is Bumblebee. They let us see his pain. They let us hear it too. 

The Primes coming to Sam is awesome. They let him know why he is there. Answering his question. Low key telling him his prime. “The Leadership of the Matrix isn’t found. It is earned.”

Aw he finally tells her that he loves her

Of course he came back for you Optimus! You died saving him!.... They died saving each other… 

Jetfire’s joy at seeing Optimus makes me smile again 

Damn The Fallen is powerful

Oh Jetfire… No! Your death will not go in vain!

Optimus can fly now. This is going to be fun~ “Die like your brother!” “They are your brothers too!”

Totally not giving me headcanon ideas

The soundtrack once again being soooo good! Megatron calling out for Starscarem after losing half of his face is interesting

“Give me your face!” and “I rise. You fall.” Are cold af lines and I love them so much

The fight is a bit short but I don’t mind. It’s gore fixes it for me

“Cowards do survive.” That is true. Sometimes in order to win, you must survive first

Yes! Thank you for letting the parents hug Sam. They watched him die and come back! Like man! They need therapy after that

Optimus and Sam standing next to each other is so cute! Dad and son vibes lol

Yay! Sam gets to go to college!

I will rank this movie as 9.5/10

[da-floof]

Cross wands-a generically titled comedy/somewhat creepy Hogwarts legacy romance.

AUTHOR NOTE:

First off I don’t own the Harry Potter series this is merely fan work and I don’t own Hogwarts legacy as a franchise OR AS A GAME. No I don’t own the game, no one makes money off of me writing anything so don’t @ me complaining.

“No…”

The pearlescent sheen of Amortentia shudders with your own shaking view, your hands gripping the desk become sweaty.

“No, it can’t be…” you desperately bargain against fate, despite knowing the cards are already well in place.

They’ve been so for many months.

However only now can you admit it.

Your shaking gets worse, you swallow loudly, glancing over at one of the large glass containers-only to see Sebastian standing right behind you in the reflection, silent but clearly unnerved by your flustered demeanour. After all, you can’t remember a time when you felt so powerless, a time when a single emotion had you pressed like a pin into a cork board.

“Hey…you ok?” Sebastian asks after he realises that your looking at him via the reflection.

You merely lower your head and let out a shuddering breath.

No, no I am not.

Sebastian starts to speak, no doubt some useless ‘I’ve got your back buddy, lets talk about it while I teach you illegal curses.’ Spiel.

Pathetic.

How can you even think about such frivolous time wasting when he needs you.

Luckily the moment Sebastian begins to talk, Professor Sharps voice cuts through the room announcing the end of class.

You make a large arcing wand movement, so utterly dramatic that it does the intended job and scares Sebastian back several feet as your potions equipment flings round you in a deterring makeshift shield before shrinking down as it dives back into your bag. With Sebastian stunned you take your chance and leave.

—————————————

“Hey-Hey wait!”

But you won’t.

Sebastian continues to call as you shove through the crowd without mercy.

Imelda squawks as she’s shouldered into the wall, Natty is shoved forward and crashes into Garreth who is almost backhanded out the way when he stops to turn and see what’s happened.

The path clear, you run.

He needs you.

——————————————

Sebastian had gotten through the crowd and was back on your tail.

You aren’t sure how but one thing is for certain, he will not stop you, he is merely the hopeful dog that must be lost as it attempts to follow a stranger for food.

Luckily your galavanting into cave systems and following the keepers trails has kept you very fit, fit enough that you turn sharply at a corridor and make a beeline up to the Astronomy tower.

——————————————————————

Your breaths are becoming ragged.

You knew the steps to the Astronomy tower, had done them several times.

But you’d never flat out run up them.

It doesn’t matter, you’re nearly there, the blue and gold theming coming into view as you round the top of the final staircase, almost dizzy from following the spiralling staircase for so long.

You dart past the classroom, a place you’d usually love to stop and marvel at but not today.

Proffesor Shah barely has time to look up from her desk before your passed her and continuing up the last set of rickety wooden stairs. The wooden slats are passing you by so fast, you feel like you’re ur about to faint-

No, I must get to him!

Finally you reach the Astronomy deck, almost tripping over yourself as the vertical stairs become flat wood. You stagger to the side, letting out a donkey like wheeze before dragging your exhausted body to the railing separating you from a perilous drop. Wincing at your screaming thighs you shakily get both feet on the top railing, strangely well balanced despite the the narrow metal ledge. For a minute you stop to catch your breath, appreciate the wind blowing against your non-standard uniform, tousling your hair.

The view, it’s fantastic, he would love it.

“For fucks sake man will you stop!” You startle, almost losing your balance before unsteadily turning round to face an exhausted Sebastian as he shakily climbs the last few stairs, one hand grasping at a stitch in his abdomen the other pulling himself up on the railing like it’s the hardest thing he’s ever had to do.

“Please!” He begs, pink faced, drool dripping from his mouth as he openly pants like an energised dog.

Gross.

Well, kind of hot but the only one you want to see drooling is still a fair distance away.

“What in Merlin’s name is going on up-oh my heavens!” Proffesor Shah shrieks as she almost trips back down the stairs she’s hurried up, seeing you standing on the ledge.

Before the Indian women can gather herself, you fling out your hands and fall back, letting gravity drag you down.

“Noooo!!” Sebastian wails in heartbreaking despair, his single word ending a sob while Professor Shah lets out her own agonised cry at seeing a student fling themself off the Astronomy tower.

You close your eyes as you drop, knowing that despite the pain they will undoubtedly recover.

Especially since you whip out you broom and mount it in one fluid motion, returning high enough for both others to see you as you speed towards your destination.

Realising what you’ve done, Sebastian let’s out a furious, horse bellow of ‘YOU LITTLE CUNT!!’ While Professor Shah sounds like she’s having a heart attack from your sudden re-emergence.

You swing off your broom as soon as you reach the front entrance to the clock tower and immediately regret stalling for so long as a practise round of crossed wands has started. It seems several students from potions had come straight here. Natty and Eric are duelling Hector and Charlotte.

With a furious cry you storm in, drawing all attention before sending a Depulso that sends Charlotte flying across the room, Levioso Hector straight up into the swinging pendulum with a reverberating clang. You sprint at Eric who’s face screws up in terror before morphing to pain as you drive your fist across his face then shoulder him into Natty sending the girl falling with a shriek.

There!-finally he’s right in front of you!

You can’t help but let out a low raspy gasp as you stagger towards him.

He’s frozen in either confusion or fear and oh god he smells like smoke, the resulting smoke of magic crashing into brick and stone mixed with leather from the quidditch gear he wears when flying.

And rubber from that damn rubber ball he bounces with such skill it-oh Merlin his confidence is so hot.

“…Can I help you.” He finally manages to squeak out, rubber ball rolling across the floor while he stares paralysed at you.

You’re rather paralysed yourself. The clean pale face, curly black hair, kind brown eyes-he’s so damn cute.

“I-I know your still setting up the next round of crossed wands but…I’d like to suggest a matchup?” You manage to say, stumbling over your words as you gaze into those deep eyes.

He nods dumbly, soft lips parted.

Cute.

Swallowing your fear you step towards him, you tower over him by nearly an entire foot but he isn’t scared, house of the brave and it suits him. Slowly you raise your hand and clasp his smaller one in it.

“I was thinking…me and you? Maybe at Hogsmeade sometime?” You say, desperately trying not to let your voice shake.

There’s a brief moment as he glances at your combined hands before he slowly closes his fingers around yours. Then he smiles at you.

“I’d like that.” He says softly.

Slowly, with small movements your heads come together until you’re inches away from a kiss-

“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?!?”

Unfortunately your tender moment with Lucan distracted you from hearing Sebastian catch up with you once more and you turn around straight into a stupefy.

You get a weeks detention. Sebastian ends up with a total of four weeks. A week for every time he attacks you in the hallways over the following week. However it isn’t the only thing that happens continually that week.

Natty ‘accidentally’ uses her Animagus form and slams her back hooves into you with enough force to send you into the black lake While your standing on the boardwalk. Imelda curses your broom. Charlotte jinx’s you in charms, Hector sends you dirty looks and Garreth tries to poison you but stops at the last minute before you drink your ‘pumpkin juice’ because you comment that you like his hair.

He says he thinks what you did was mean through his sobs but is willing to forgive you because he’s never received such validation.

Sad.

Regardless, as you stare into Lucans warm brown eyes while you share a smoothie in a little cafe in Hogsmeade, you think it was worth it.

Of course you can’t go much further then a snog because Professor Weasley kindly informed you that ‘He’s twelve and if it goes further then kissing I’ll rip your balls off and feed them to the Kneazles’ all while managing that gentle smile of hers.

But hey, you’ve promised him at some point you’ll cross wands.

[rjam9]

fnaf movie teaser trailer is out so here are my initial thoughts i wrote when it first came out + my expanded thoughts now that i am not half asleep and running on adrenaline. (this note was also titled “FNAF TRAILER FUCK YEAH” in my notes, so that is the vibe im going for here)

initial thoughts:

- ooooh creepy vhs trailer love that for her

- it’s the. it’s the song tordear march i cant spell rn but it’s the thing it’s that thing i know

- Foxy plushie :]

- SHOWTIME BUTTON WOO

- OH MY GOD THEY LOOK SO GOOOD!!! YEAH!!!!!

- i hope we get the animatronics singing actual songs in this movie. even just one would be good. like in willys wonderland yknow. kinda

- ooh it’s abandoned?? i mean there was that theory for fnaf1 that the location was abandoned given the cobwebs and stuff, so i guess it’s not too far out of possibility

- THERES MIKE THERES THE GUY™️

- man the office and the cameras look EXACTLY like the game. they even got the poster!! fan!! the cup!! why am i so excited about a cup!!!

- Freddy be peaking

- is this lady supposed to be phone guy? i mean she is kinda introducing security guard to the job so maybe

- SPRINGLOCK SUIT??????!!!!

- ahh Foxy!!!

- the sister’s name is Abby right??

- idk how i feel about the red eyes but OH MY GOD FREDDY LOOKS SO COOL AHHH

- i kinda forgot Vanessa was in this movie my bad 🫣 the actor does kinda look like what i would picture an older Vanessa like in my head tho so cool!!

- (also is she also at the pizzeria?? what)

- THE KIDS!! THE MISSING KIDS OH MY GOODD

- they’re all there there’s five of them and they all looked themed so is Cassidy there?? Golden Freddy?? the one kid at the front is kinda wearing stripes like the Puppet but everyone else looks solid

- BUT THE KIDS THE KIDS ARE HERE FUCK YEAHHH

- IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWED WITH A SHOT OF WILLIAM HELLO??

- why he in an office. Fazbear office?? home office?? he looks kinda smary snarky here but i think they could not have picked a better actor he was great in Scream so yayy

- Michael is having force visions more at ten

- IS THIS PHONE GUY?? WHERE IS HE??

- huh endoskeleton stepping on a ball okay

- into the PIT i must ADMIT —

- Foxy my guy Foxy my boy love ya

- again with the red eyes don’t know how i feel we’ll see when im less tired and it’s not super late where i live and im about to pass out

- logo!! also song return yeah

- DAY BEFORE MY BDAY FUCK YEAH

- okay bedtime now im tired byyyye

expanded thoughts:

- LOVE the 80s vibe in the vhs, especially the uniform/outfit the employee is wearing. she has so many pins. i definitely feel like this movie is going to capture the feel of the games super well, even if the story doesn’t quite match up.

- plus, all the game references! the Foxy plushie, the showtime button, the toreador march (and all the things you can see when Mike walks into the abandoned pizzeria — the prize corner, posters, and ESPECIALLY the security office) is so cool to see. again, i definitely think i will love the vibe of this movie, and i hope they nail the creepy atmosphere that made the original game so classic. i do think that i will have a heart attack and die as soon as i see one of the animatronics move tho.

- on that note — man, they look so good! ofc they do since it was Jim Henson’s Creature Shop that made them all, but holy shit they look so so great. i can’t remember if they ever said if costumes would be used, but i do remember that they casted voice actors! i do still hope some of the og voice actors get a cameo or smth, maybe just as guests of the pizzeria or on a television ad.

- i still stand by my “i hope the animatroincs sing a song in the movie a la Willy’s Wonderland style”. it’s definitely going on my bingo sheet and it’s one of those things i’ve always wanted to see. also, i did identify the song playing in the beginning (“i hear the secrets that you keep …”) and it is “Talking In Your Sleep” by The Romantics. it came out in 1983 though which is kinda funny. but also, 80s soundtrack confirmed?

- again, i do have the feeling that this is the “official” training tape for security guards, and Phone Guy (or whoever the equivalent of him is, maybe the guard that gets murked at the end) will still be there on recordings. even if it’s not Scott (which i don’t particularly care if it is or not), i still hope they include at least a nod or reference to him, even if this vhs lady is taking over the brunt of exposition and whatnot.

- SO ONTO THE SAW TORTURE DEVICE. my first thought was that it was maybe a springlock suit, but since people have pointed out the original Phone Guy line of “stuffing people into suits was deadly bc they were full of metal and wires and sharp things especially around the face area”, i think this is just a regular suit that’s been weaponized or twisted in some way. on that note, i am split half and half between “Mike actually gets captured and stuffed inside” and “Mike is just having a nightmare about the animatronics”. to be fair to Mike, i think everybody has nightmares about their minimum wage jobs.

- okay, so unpopular opinion, but i actually don’t mind the red eyes upon further reflection! they look kinda goofy, but i think it fits the vibe of the movie overall, and also i am always down for the “eye colour indicates mental state” trope. so, i’m digging it.

- THE MISSING KIDS!! sorry, i’m so excited over them lol. looking closer at them, i do think it’s going Bonnie (blue/purple shirt with bunny ears) — Freddy (brown striped shirt) — Foxy (red shirt and one hand all wrapped up) — Golden Freddy (top hat) — Chica (yellow and white dress). i have a feeling that this movie will probably just stick with the core five for now, bc i think trying to introduce the Puppet into this will make it way more complicated than it needs to be. but i also think it’s interesting that they’re in a forest? Mike is obviously having a dream or vision of some kind, but why manifest in a forest and not like the pizzeria itself? interesting, interesting.

- and now we have William! as others have stated, i am very glad with the direction they took him in. i always dislike the designs that make William look super old/greasy/creepy, and on the flipside, that ones that make him look super charming and suave. this guy managed to lure and kill multiple kids and get away with it for decades, so i think he needs to have a very friendly, warm, almost grandpa-like vibe to him (with just a hint of “oh he’s a lil fucked up actually”). make him too obviously creepy and there was no way he would be getting away scot-free (ha) for so long, but make him too charming and he comes across as a shady business man which kids would not be willing to follow in a back room. so, perfect vibe. i will go into a bit more detail below about where he is/what he’s doing, but i think the office choice is very interesting.

- this shot of the security guard getting killed is definitely going to be a cold opening tho. i can feel it in my bones. it’s going to open with this shot (or close to open) before cutting to Mike. i know what it’s going to do i am calling it right now,

- i have also come to realize that is Foxy’s foot stomping the ball and not a random endo nobody look at me

- i made an into the pit joke but i do think it would be very very cool if they included a nod to the fans like playing a bit of the melody of a popular fansong on a radio/tv or something like that. not something that i an explicitly hoping for, but would be super neat to include.

- i am making all my friends come see this movie with me they cannot argue with me bc it is the day before my birthday and they cannot argue with the birthday boy

predictions:

so, i think there are two ways this movie can go;

1) Mike is not William’s son

this is where i think this movie is going, just based off this trailer alone. i think William is the current Fazbear Ent./pizzeria owner who hires Mike (explaining why he is in an office), and Mike has no idea what he is getting into other than that he is a security guard. based off that one leaked clip of Mike beating up a guy in a mall, i think he got fired from his previous job, and is taking this one as a last resource to support his sister. while working there, he begins to experience visions of the missing kids and works to uncover the secrets of the place. i also think that he gets captured by the animatroincs (or William) at some point, and his sister Abby arrives to come save him, explaining why there’s the shot of him in the saw torture trap, he comes into the pizzeria alone, and all shots of Abby so far she is alone and the animatronics are already aggressive.

flaws in this idea though? idk how Vanessa (and the currently unnamed female villain) fit into this. but otherwise i think it’s pretty solid. the second way i think this movie will go is …

2) Mike IS William’s son

i think this one is least likely, but knowing that Scott wrote this movie and that the original decided script was about Michael Afton, i do think it’s a possibility. basically, much like in the games, Mike is William’s son who vaguely knows of his dad’s shitty deeds, and is trying to escape his past until he has the opportunity to work as a security guard at an old restaurant. the saw trap scene and the missing kid visions are nightmares sparked by his past, possibly things he saw/knew about while living with his dad. in that case, William is currently missing (and the scene in his office is a flashback) and the “unnamed female villain” is the current Fazbear ceo/worker who hires Mike on.

flaws in this idea? Abby — unless she is also William’s daughter and is a stand-in for Elizabeth, i do not know how this could work. if Mike adopted her as his sister, i feel like they do not have time for that plotline. and, once again, i have no clue how Vanessa factors into all this.

(my best guess for Vanessa is that in both plots she knows of William’s crimes and is trying stop him/free the ghosts, but in the first plot she works with Mike since he is new and clueless and in the second one against him bc she believes he is still working with his father. but i’m not sold on either of those yet).

so, my best guess overall is number 1, but honestly i would be happy with either. i am just so excited for this movie and can’t help but write about it, as i usually do. whatever ends up happening better be fun, though. i do not want to be bored during this lmao.

[wench-and-jezebel]

NCIS Reaction: Marine Down

Wench (@scripted-downfall) reacts [with (maybe) occasional asides by Jezebel (@typicalopposite)]: a transcript from a voice call

[Is always a dead person.  Like, it’s never an inside job, never stealing, nothing.  Just death]

Well, this is new… we don’t usually start out with a wake

[It’s Jim!]  Well, that was weird  [He’s not dead]  Also, we also don’t usually start out with the person being not-dead… Also, so much for “always a dead person,” I guess

Tonyyy

Always confuses me why they have lab techs have gun training

[Is McGee here!?! 💕]

I mean, the cutout losing an ear isn't the end of the world… At least she's alive and not killed by the hostage-taker!  [Noooo M3GAN ptsd!]  We have to react to thattttt

[Damn not the phone going on the target]  Love that Kate cared about her PDA but Tony cared more about the hat alskjdf  [He’d have took my phone and I would have quit]  We would both pass away if your phone died

I do appreciate the threat to the boat, though it’d be kinda sad to lose it :(

He gave Abby the hat!  [Abbbyyyyy]

"Computers can sense fear"  [I love Abby]

Gunpowder perfume seems awesome

Tony has Post-It notes everywhere… Even on his lamp

Wait, surely McGee's gotta come in: Abby's got a new perfume (huh… that was half-joke but I wonder if they're still a "thing")

It's Jim's ghost and you're watching Supernatural  [Sam and Dean are gonna show up]  Bringing back the long-forgotten the priest outfits

That was a very unsympathetic "You have our sympathies,” Kate

Sealed caskets?  That's suspicious… Suspicious circs

Poor Tony, results redacted

[Poor Tony still looking sadly at the hat]  Noooooo

Tony's (listed in the system as) DEAD?!?!?!  I told you it was an SPN episode!  [☠️☠️☠️]

Wait, was the PDA shot?

[“Not everything is a conspiracy”  But it is Kate]

Why is Gibbs always making them move with absolutely no warning

THE PDA WAS SHOT  [Poor phone ☠️☠️☠️]

And at least Tony got a new hat :)

"We can’t release how they died because of the way they died"  WELL HOW'D THEY DIE THEN?!?!

Body language isn't thattttt accurate

[Quantico!  Criminal Minds crossover!] alksdjf

What is it with higher-ups always interrupting their employees?  Grissom in CSI does it too

What were those significant looks about???  (Serious question; that was not a very awe-inspiring reveal)

The layers of deception here though

I do appreciate that Gibbs and Tony tend to play off each other in terms of banter.  I mean, they clearly know each other's interrogative strategies

[Why are they talking “secretive” stuff just… in the middle of the office]

Also, I thought Gibbs had clearance for the documents???  That was a whole conversation topic?

Abby's love language seems to be caffeine-drink reception  [CafPow]  Ducky gave her one during the MMORPG one

Kate and Tony are leaving together; gonna go burn Gibbs’ boat now

That was abrupt, Kate

Imagine being good at art  [Shut up you are!]  Uh-uh  [Uh huh]

*artist jealousy intensifying*

[Tony is such a childdd!  Like, in a Dean way]

The drawings though alksjfd [Uh oh, she’s got Gibbs drawn like one of her French girls]

I hate the whole "I need x time" "nah, take y (less than x) time” trope

Snow is pretty  [Something we never get]  Noooo

Creepy photography  [He looks.. right at the camera… But doesn’t see the camera]

I like her turtleneck

Does Abby have a clown on her shirt?  [Probably]

Such a coherent message  [Yep total confirmation of him being alive]

"Hizzouse" was kinda obvious though, especially given context

Dude, the distortion though

Why do they even bother with the "I thought x, but was wrong" section of the debriefing?  [☠️☠️☠️]  They do it in every lab show

“We’ve got a dead man calling”  I'm surprised that wasn't the title…  What the hell does Marine Down even mean?

Why would you screw shut a coffin?  Unless you're in Supernatural.  Or the X Files.  [Very true]

"Calls from grave" was a Supernatural episode summary, I remember it

Poor Ducky has not been in this episode  [Well they never had a body]  I miss him :(

I love the mini drill

[BUM BUM BUM]  This.  This is an SPN/X Files episode

– – –

Wench: I'm.  Highly confused.  It feels like they keep saying something  and then backtracking.  And then going forward again.  And then backtracking.  It’s like the circles thing, but a plot point not just a line/speech

Jezebel: Yeah!  And, honestly, I can’t even remember this episode past the beginning when he calls her. So this all feels new to me too!

Wench: But for real, we haven’t actually had a plot because they just... "he dead" "he not dead" "he calling" "he not calling" "gibbs has access" "gibbs does not have access" "he dead" "oh wait he not dead" "he not calling" "oh wait he calling" "oh wait he dead"

Jezebel: Yeah it’s just dead guy called wife.  And it’s mysterious.

Wench: Because to the extent that there is a plot, it just kinda.. ouroboros's in on itself?  I don't know if I'm just missing stuff or if they're being unclear but what???  Like, they just said he looked alive?

Jezebel: I think they are confused

Wench: I will say... have you seen The Mummy?  Because this makes me think of a scene where they open a sarcophagus and the contents are still decomposing and the line is literally: “Why does he look so… juicy?” in this really memorable exchange… (We better react to that or else)  That is what's going through my head… EXCEPT THEY HAVEN'T SAID WHETHER HE'S DEAD

Jezebel: MYSTERIOUS

Wench: I will say that I haven't been especially annoyed by the characters.  Gibbs hasn't been his usual bitchy self

Jezebel: This is the Gibbs the writers intended him to be

Wench: Kate's been decent too, and I appreciated her interactions with Tony.  It kinda feels like they've that sibling energy they were talking about in the other episode, where they're bickering, but not nastily?

Jezebel: Yeah

Wench: Anyway, it kinda feels like the Dark Angels we've been watching where... nothing... happened.  

Jezebel: Right.  And they just kinda waffle back and forth, especially since they’re acting like something bad happened, but he looks all peaceful?  So it’s like… It looks like he's dead and has been dead, in the position of being dead, and not like he was just up and around and calling his wife.  So unless he decided to just go ahead and die, hands clasped over stomach, all we know is that something bad happened, except what if it didn’t

Wench: Right.  And we still don’t know, is it bad in the context of his work or not?

Jezebel: Yeah

Wench: All I’m saying is, this be a Max POV episode

– – –

“We screwed that up”  Screwed what up?  What exactly could have gone differently?????

[Why does the guy whose picture is on the wall under bin Laden’s look like Michael Myers?]

"Unless your calling plan include an afterlife" SPN-coded

"Married four times"  Has Gibbs really?  Dang, boi!

[Look at Tony fangirling over gibbs]

Why do they keep talking in jargonnnnn

DUCKYYYYYY  [Well… now he’s got a body]

Has he been embalmed or just consumed formaldehyde?

I told you Tony was a closet nerd!!!  WHAT DID I SAY?!!?!?

Tony, stop ogling the dead dude [☠️☠️☠️☠️]  Ya necrophiliac

I appreciate the recognition of the limits of autopsies and time-of-death estimations

The chuckle though

[This still doesn’t explain… HOW HE called the wifeeee]

THEY SAID THE DUDES WERE POISONED WITH FORMALDEHYDE; WHY ARE WE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS????  [Because they have forgotten they said that]  alksdjflaksdfj

Gibbs and his time pressures  [Right?!]

Once again, the only appropriate explanation seems to be supernatural… (lower-case this time)  [Isssa ghost]

What's with the random map in the background?  [I think it’s just always running]  What a waste of energy!

AGAIN WITH THE TIME PRESSURES  [Gibbs: Chop chop]

OH NO THE PAPERWORK MIX-UP HAS A PURPOSE [Bum bum bummmmm is not Tony!]

Chickadee, you were not subtle about that turn though

[Blech]

Poor Ducky  [Just wait til you meet Jimmy]  Is that a good “wait” or a bad one?  [He’s basically bby ducky]  OH LOVELY  [Glasses and all]

Ducky, ya good?  That was a very abrupt motion  [The cringe tho]  BUDDY WHAT'S THE MATTER?!?!?  [Oh shit he was shaking]

"I think he knew something was up" NO SHIT YOU WEREN'T SUBTLE  [🤣🤣🤣]

Poor Tony, identity theft once again

Speaking of not subtle, this dude-

[I swear Tony always gets the short end of the stick]

WHERE DID THE GUN COME FROM?!? WHY IS THERE JUST RANDOM GUNFIRE?!?… Is this gonna be terrorists again!?!?

[Gibbs talking to himself now]

Woman, slow down with the numbers alskdfj

Um.  Tony.  Calmeth downeth the flirtingeth  [“But I look good”]

Tony being very concerned about Gibbs right there… very sweet  [He be like: boss you ok? 🥺🥺💕]

“How many agencies do you know that drive economy-class armoured cars?”  I'd wager most of them actually

Tony and Gibbs have Connections  [The way he looks at Kate like how can you NOT tell?]

"I have to get better at reading men"  Bitch, you can't read people because you're not empathetic.. it's not a sex/gender thing; it’s a you thing

DUCKY STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF; THANK YOU

Gibbs did not help

Oh come on not the dumb!Tony trope again [Ooooof]

ONCE AGAIN IF THIS IS NOT ABOUT HIM DRINKING THE FORMALDEHYDE I’MA LOSE IT

Can you read the newspaper you just pulled from the dude’s body?  [The newspaper in his neck made my eye twitch!]

TONY DOING THE TRANSLATION YESSSSS SMART TONY TRUTHERS ARE WINNING THIS EPISODEEEEE

aksdjflkasjf 

Can we get some straight answers one of these days?  Please?  [So much is happening but so little is happening, and it’s confusing]

Tony recognizing Gibbs is pissed and thus dialling up his own anger… Love it  [I got you bab- I mean boss]

I love her glovesssss

THEY ARE DIGGING UP A GRAVE IN A CEMETERY AT NIGHT.  ONCE AGAIN: THIS IS A SUPERNATURAL EPISODE!!!

Where's the salt?

"It's not like we couldn't do this during daylight"  *haunted Supernatural expression cast vaguely in Tony’s direction*  Bitch, you don't know the struggle

"You afraid of ghosts?"  How many times do I have to say it?  SUPERNATURAL

[He keeps looking at Kate like, “see he’s so upset”]

Oop-, Tony knowing how to use the technology is awesome

That was a very abrupt scene change

Kate, this is why they invented coffee!  [Kate needs a Caf-Pow]  Weaklings.  Imagine needing sleep!

ONCE AGAIN.  I’M BEGGING Y’ALL TO REMEMBER THE POISONINGS

[Long pause…. “Poison”]  lksadfjlsakdfjaldskfj WHAT IS WITH THE LONG PAUSES IN GENERAL THOUGH?  [Old people]  alksdjfaksldjf  [Gotta be dramatic]

Dude made off with the ransom money?  Rude

This conversation is so dramtically-paused for why

Dude, they're not backing off just because you say to.  That never works.  Ever.

SEE?!!?!?

[Ack]  Unsafe flying conditions right there

Poor Kate

TONY STILL HARPING ON THE JETSSSS; I’m loving it

"Sure"  That’s very convincing, Tony, bud

[Gibbs is asleep]  Have you seen Aliens?  If not... *whistles and adds it to the list*  [A long time ago]

Tony knowing Gibbs well again

[Ok that was adorable]  He has so much energy and for why  [‘Cause he’s petty af]

See, HE understands coffee

Weakling.  Just use the bag.  Privacy be overrated!  [Behind the boxes]  IN the boxes

[Awww she Boujie… Now Kate’s gonna be upset]

It is kinda dumb for him to just stick around

She just better not be bitchy about it

Whenever a character says "humour us,” you're in trouble

Y'ALL ONCE WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE POISONING?!!?  They stick in random details for no reason and then never touch them again.  Chekhov's gun just got unloaded and shipped off for scrap

[He a mordorerrrr]

It's so weird not seeing Weatherly in a wheelchair.  Honestly, I kinda forget they're the same actor.  Like, I can see it?  But they're really different in character/personality/acting.  [Which is crazy cause it’s only a few years difference]

This storyline is so confusing.  What exactly is even happening?  [I have no idea]

I might go read through the script before/during endpoint just to try and figure it out.  And I'm not sure it'll help; they just kinda... jump from idea to idea  [Good luck ☠️]

Tony taking off his cap to protect it from the gunfire alsdkfj

[btw I think they were oh this will be interesting for a plot]  Right… And I mean… it was interesting.  But only in the fever-dream kinda way.  It doesn’t really make sense.

This poor marine  

What is this dude's issue with Gibbs????

Oof  [Well damn]  Gibbs gonna feel real safe walking out after you just killed the last dude

"Just wanna talk" Y'all are talking now?!?

HOW ARE THERE ONLY THREE MINUTES LEFT IN THIS EPISODE!?  [☠️☠️🤣🤣☠️☠️]  HOW IS THIS POSSIBLY GONNA BE RESOLVED

Oop- return of the shooting range storyline!  I saw those significant looks between Tony and Gibbs. Only problem: Tony gonna shoot the marine's ear off  [Aghhh M3gan ptsd… again]

"I can't believe you trusted me"  He didn't

[Well damn]  That situation.  Did not need that level of force.  [Brutal]  Bruh, why did they both shoot?!?!?!  [In memory of the hat and phone]  WHY DID THEY BOTH SHOOT MULTIPLE TIMES? EACH!?!?!?  (Also, RIP hat and phone)

[Damn!  That’s wholesome!]

Good for these people, but I feel bad for the wife who didn't get her husband back and now has to watch the other reunion [☠️☠️☠️]

And now has to watch the other reunion

The kids are precioussssss

NO BUT THE GUY’S EAR *&(#*&!(&R*(!&$)!(*&#@$!()  I SAID IT!  I CALLED IT!  WHAT DID I SAYYYYY… I mean.  At least Tony's a consistent shot?

This chick again!  One of these days, we better figure out who she is!

Also, there's a random yellow ribbon around the tree and it's making me think of the song  [You don’t know what that means tho?  The yellow ribbon?]  I know the song...?  [No a yellow ribbon is for a lost loved one]  Oh, damn.  [🤣🤣]

– – – 

Wench: Dude, we never found out what was going on with the person taking the photographs???

Jezebel: Could it have been the guy at the end?  Who specifically wanted to speak to Gibbs?

Wench: I don't think so; wasn't he supposed to be in Colombia?  ALSO WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH THE CALLS?!?!

Jezebel: I don’t know 🤣🤣

Wench: Honestly, my first reaction is a quite solid wtf.  I have 0 clue what just happened. But at least it wasn't terrorists again?

Jezebel: Very much same 🤣🤣🤣

Wench: I wasn't cognizant of the fact that 45 minutes just passed.  In terms of what happened, I feel like that was an episode worth of inconsistency and plot holes.  Feels kinda harsh to say, but it's true

Jezebel: And they will never be filled ☠️🤣

Wench: I even looked at the wiki and just… wot?  Very thorough wiki, with no answers to be had.  (I honestly think the the thoroughness didn't help because it basically just recited the show, whereas I need some kind of broad summary to get what the hell was going on.)

Jezebel: Right

Wench: I did appreciate the characterization this time.  And am very glad that Ducky got a chance to be annoyed about the "boring" allegations.  

Jezebel: Yess

Wench: And calling out his assistant on the headphone thing

Jezebel: YESSSS

Wench: Especially because when I worked in a lab, they didn't let us put on headphones or play music or anything because we had to be able to hear if something went wrong.  And admittedly that was a chem lab, not a morgue where (hopefully) things aren't moving — you know, in an ideal situation 🙂 — but it thus strikes me as weird that he had headphones on

Jezebel: I didn’t really remember him, tbh.  I think most of the episodes I’m remembering are from s2, so I’m used to that version of Kate, and Tony, and Gibbs.  And that’s the season with Jimmy, I think.

Wench: And McGee isn't here as much as you seem to remember either

Jezebel: Right.  And I thought he was introduced as a side thing-

Wench: A one-shot character?

Jezebel: Yeah, and then he wasn’t in the episode after, but was in the one after that… And then he joined for good.  So this is… weird.

Wench: Yeah, I definitely hear that

Jezebel: I will say, Ziva joins for a long time, and I do like her and Tony… I mean, they’re the actual canon thing developing.  But she’s sometimes a bit… meh.  And not as interesting as the thing with Tony and McGee.

Wench: So what I'm hearing is... pros of multishipping?  I mean, ya know... Tony has two hands.  That just seems to be the solution to all of our problems

Jezebel: Right 🙂  There’s also a ship that comes out of Mcgee and Abby dating…

Wench: Well, that already started, right?  Or at their first date did

Jezebel: Yeah.  I start getting into ick with ships like Gibbs and Abby.  Because I don’t like that.

Wench: Oh, absolutely, that’s familial, not romantic.  Same with Gibbs and Tony, tbh.  Like, I can see joking about it, but it’s far more Tony hero-worshipping Gibbs than anything, and not more.  I don’t think I like it.

Jezebel: Right.  You can see how other people see it, right-

Wench: Yeah

Jezebel: But it’s like… It’s like shipping Dean and Jody.  It’s just weird

Wench: I don't like thatttttttttt

Jezebel: Anyway... if I can come up with anything to say for endpoint... Uh.  GOT IT.  Abby's gloves were great!  Honestly, highlight of the episode.  ‘Til next time!

[rhetoricandlogic]

A House with Good Bones - T. Kingfisher

When I think Southern Gothic fiction, I generally picture grim haunting tales set in creepy small towns in the American South. I think overall bleak tones with a sense of foreboding and dread. I think horror, the supernatural, the disturbing and the macabre.

What I don’t usually expect is to be laughing my ass off at the gut-busting humor. Yes, I know morbid or dark comedy is sometimes used in the genre to poke fun at Southern societal norms and traditions, but as usual, T. Kingfisher’s famed wit and lightness of touch makes her latest novel an instant gem.

In A House With Good Bones, we follow recently furloughed archaeoentomologist Samantha Montgomery on a visit to her hometown in rural North Carolina. Needing a place to stay for a while, she also figures this would be a good time to check in with her mother Edith, who has been acting very strange lately according to recent reports from Sam’s brother. Upon her arrival, Sam could immediately see what he means. Normally a happy-go-lucky woman, Edith has become tense and jumpy, overly cautious about everything. The house that Sam remembers as colorful and vibrant has also been repainted to the original bland hues which were favored by her miserable grandmother Mae, back when she was still alive and owned the home. Plus, the less said the better about the questionable décor which now adorns the place, which Sam knows to be completely out of character for her mom.

Worried that it might be dementia or worse, Sam sets out to find out what ails her mother. She learns that what Edith is experiencing could be symptoms of delayed bereavement for Gran Mae, even though the old woman has been dead for many years. But Edith’s odd behavior is also just the tip of the iceberg. As insects are her life’s work, Sam can’t help but notice her mother’s garden is completely devoid of any of the creepy crawlies which would normally be everywhere. Not a single ant, spider, or bee despite the garden being filled with Gran Mae’s famously beautiful rosebushes which have been growing at the house for decades. And that’s not even the weirdest part. One night, Sam wakes up to a horrifying discovery which even she as a seasoned entomologist finds disturbing, and that’s only the first of many more nasty surprises the house has in store for her.

If you enjoyed Kingfisher’s The Twisted Ones, then I think you’ll also come to love A House with Good Bones. That’s because the two books feel very similar to me in terms of tone and style, both serving up a perfect blend of horror and humor. Even the title is a cheeky gibe in its own way. The story also features a charismatic and lovable protagonist with an unforgettable voice. Sam Montgomery’s personality is positively infectious, reflected in her laidback narration which flows naturally off the page and frequently includes hilarious observations of the things happening around her. Even in the face of terrifying uncertainty, she can still liven things up with a joke or two.

I was also touched by Sam’s concern for Edith and the way she was so fiercely protective of her. Having just finished a string of novels about dysfunctional families, reading one that featured a strong, loving mother-daughter bond felt quite refreshing for a change. I also enjoyed the side characters, like the neighbors Gail, bitter rival of Gran Mae when she was alive, and Phil, the awkward but intelligent handyman who Sam becomes sweet on as the story progresses. I was even charmed by the wake of vultures, part of a wildlife rescue and rehabilitation program, which have taken over the street and made it their home.

It’s little things like that which made A House with Good Bones such a joy to read. Whenever a scene got too scary, some quirky detail or random quip would bring the tone back to lighter territory. Kingfisher has always had a knack for finding this balance between creepy and funny, and that’s why I keep coming back to her horror books. And no question about it, this one has become one of my favorites.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 159

There Will Be Blood/The Rebel Flesh

“There Will Be Blood”

Plot Description: to defeat Dick Roman and the Leviathans, Sam and Dean must locate three key items that must be retrieved from Castiel, Crowley, and the Alpha Vampire

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: somehow, no one died…even with that episode title

Poor Kevin. He doesn’t deserve thisssss

Negotiations with Crowley are always just super fun for the boys…

Ok sometimes you just have to stand in front of an open freezer door, though. Sure THIS time, they’re out of it because of the additives Dick’s company is putting in corn syrup but it’s not ALWAYS that

Poor Dean has to give up fruit pies and start eating actual fruit

Ew. On one hand, I feel bad for this girl…on the other, I kind of don’t trust her

You know, I spent a lot of time comparing Dean to Touya…I’ve overlooked the Dean and Sokka parallels, the meat and sarcasm older brothers

It wasn’t until just now, as the Winchesters pulled into Missoula, MT, that I remembered that Hank Green (who hit send on a tweet at the exact time I was typing his name) once tweeted about the time spn took place there (even if it was actually in Canada. I don’t really know)

Yeah I knew not to trust herrrrrrr. She’s totally in league with the alpha vampire

Oh nooo this Bobby situation only keeps getting worse. He’s now possessed a poor girl…

Oh. The Leviathans want EVERYONE except humans gone…and humans only get to stay as a source of food. Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool

Oooo, they took Edgar off the playing board (for now at least)

So Crowley goes to see Dick and gets stuck in a Devil’s Trap. Great job

Mmm no. His smile’s so creepy

“The Rebel Flesh”

Plot Description: a solar tsunami liberates doppelgängers from their human “originals” in a factory

I’m so sorry to this show but I can’t hear Supermassive Black Hole without thinking Twilight. It’s not a choice, my brain is just like this…

Things never go well when the Doctor runs into a team of top scientists, do they? Thinking about the crew that met the devil, waters of mars, the ones that met the Silurians, and now this team and “the flesh” And I mean that it’s almost never fully outside forces. So many of them make terrible decisions

Is it in these episodes that they confirm the Amy we’ve been with at least all season is a fake? It would make sense

I’ve forgotten how many of the scientists are the originals and how many are the doppelgängers…

(I’ll say it nearly every time, but dw just doesn’t do two parters all that well…)

Oh…but Rory can really feel for the doppelgängers in a way no one else here can yet…he’s BEEN not really him before

Oh they’re really trying to take over the originals’ lives, and you can’t REALLY blame them

The weird amount of…slight body horror is really off putting

It’s kind of shitty that only the female scientists got replaced at first…just.

This is a whole mess.

Man…how does the Doctor keep finding the WORST humans to have in these extremely tense situations?

[taiblogcomics]

My Little Women ...Would Be Kind of a Creepy Title, Actually

Hey there, winking emojis. Well, we finished another third of Avengers Arena, and we need a break, yeah? Something light and fun. Now, I did finish all the G5 pony comics I had in the backlog last time... But note that one bit: the G5 comics. I got a little something else for you today~

Here's the cover

So this is My Little Pony Classics Reimagined - Little Fillies. Dunno if there are or will be more in the Classics Reimagined line, but here's the first. It's all the MLP characters you know and love, but it's plugged into Louisa May Alcott's "Little Women". If you haven't read "Little Women", don't worry, neither have I! It's still pretty entertaining, and you get a strong sense of the original story. You'll see. Either way, a fittingly simple, pleasant cover for such a story. Dunno what crowd the Little Women fandom draws in for comics, but the Friendship is Magic cast is sure to pull in a few readers~

Now, just for clarity, I will be referring to the characters by the names of the roles they're playing. I will, of course, indicate who's played by who each time they're introduced, but otherwise when I say "Meg", you're gonna have to remember it's our favourite purple book horse. Speaking of, we open at the March house, where Meg (Twilight Sparkle) is finishing up here contribution to their family newspaper. Beth (Fluttershy) compliments her on the story's moral, while Jo (Rainbow Dash) scoffs at it. She doesn't have time for moral lessons. Yup, that's Rainbow Dash~

After a side comment from Amy (Rarity), Jo shares her own story: a frolicking adventure story starring a pony named Rainbow Dash collecting artifacts and fighting thieves. Beth interrupts her, unsure whether they've already heard this story or not. Meg agrees, eventually realising it sounds a lot like AK Yearling's Daring Do books. Amy agrees that it seems derivative, and is also miffed that Jo gets to copy for her articles and she isn't. Jo's pretty mad at the insinuations. But it's hard to write adventure stories when you haven't had any yourself...

Her sisters sympathise, but even everyday life is a kind of adventure. Besides, it's Hearth's Warming Eve, and who can be sad then? Even if their bits are going somewhere other than presents, perhaps. Their father (Cheese Sandwich) is off fighting in the war, so money is tight. They muse a bit about what they would've liked to receive, and when Jo mentions she'd like the newest AK Yearling book, Meg is surprised she hasn't bought it yet. She probably would have, but Aunt March (Discord) hasn't paid her yet. Once she does, though, Beth suggests they pool their money for a gift for their mother, Marmee (Pinkie Pie).

And here's where some of the humour of the adaptation comes in. Up 'til now, it's been a fairly straight adaptation (I assume, anyway). But upon mention of her character's name, Pinkie pirouettes in and flops on the floor. Twilight protests that this can't possibly be her entrance, and Pinkie points it out in the script. The script in her hoofwriting. Pinkie's retort? Are they adapting a literary classic? Yes. Does that mean she can't add cartwheels if she wants? No. Rarity then pipes up with some regard to wardrobe, and Twilight shouts for focus.

Totally focused, Marmee pulls out a letter from their father and reads it out loud. The key part, though, is the ending which goes something like "adventures are well and good, but don't seek them so strongly you miss what's right in front of you now". This is clearly directed at Jo. In the days that follow, she tries to take it to heart, attempting to write something not so Daring Do derivative, but comes up with nothing. Meg interrupts her nothings to remind her they've been invited to a fancy New Year's party. Jo accidentally butchers Meg's hair while they're dressing, but they make it there.

While Meg fawns over the high class guests, Jo wanders off to stew. While she's moping, a butler (Discord again, in another role) suggests she try stage left. Someone has to keep the narrative pace going, right? Jo ducks into a little room where she can escape the party for a bit, and it's here where she meets Theodora "Laurie" Laurence (Applejack), their next door neighbour. Oh boy, this is gonna be some Appledash shipping, isn't it? Coz the surprise and explanation for Laurie's nickname preferences works better in the original book, where the Laurie character was a boy.

Anyway, Jo wonders why they haven't hung out before, being next door neighbours and all. Laurie's just been busy with school and stuff. She's been all over, and Jo is swooning a bit at the thought of all that adventure. She's jealous, coz there's not too much to write about in Broncord, Massahoofsetts. Laurie is pretty intrigued, even if Jo isn't officially published yet. She asks Jo for a story right now, and she obliges. She gets a little stuck in the middle, and Laurie suggests Jo stop thinking like AK Yearling and tell what she wants in the story.

Alas, while Jo catches a second wind spinning a yarn about her self-insert OC Rainbow Dash (now there's some confusing canon mapping for you~), she's just getting into it when Meg appears, rather disheveled and ready to go home. She got too involved in a competition with the Great and Powerful Trixie (who I guess doesn't get a canon character to play), and she would like to go home now.

Jo and Laurie walk home together, and the pair part amicably. Laurie muses that while it might not be as exciting as a Daring Do adventure, but the story of how they met might be worth writing about too. Jo supposes that's true, and the comic ends with her heading inside to recount Rainbow Dash's latest adventures to Beth and Amy (who didn't get to come, I guess)~

This is pretty all right. Like I said, I’ve never read ”Little Women” myself, not even for school, but there’s enough both in the story and the meta asides that I’ve gotten the gist of it. Speaking of, it’s those meta asides I like the most. A straight adaptation wouldn’t be quite as fun, I don’t think. It does make you wonder if they’re putting it on as a play or something, or if they simply know they’re in a comic adaptation. Either way, this certainly isn’t a bad story, I mean, it’s a classic for a reason, right~?