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celestialrry · 3 years ago

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nerves

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HELLLLO IM WRITING THIS INTRO AND POSTING THIS WHILE FALLING ASLEEP SO ILL POST ALL THE DETAILS ADN ADD THIS TO MU MASTERLIST LATER I LOVE TOU ALL THANK YOU FOR FOLOWING AND REBLOGGIN KISSES FOT YOU ALL (this is like right after release of hs1 harry I think hope you enjoy mwah)

summary: Actress!Y/N goes onto a talk show, and the host has a surprise for her.

warnings: cursing, kinda sorta an anxiety attack?

Y/N was nervous.

This would only be the 5th talk show she’s ever gone on alone after being in the spotlight for a few years when her acting career took off. She started off with indie films and soon made her way to the red carpet, working with esteemed actors and actress’s she could only ever dream of meeting. It was pure bliss.

Of course, fame came with other struggles like hate from the media and random people on twitter, but at the end of the day she was so grateful she had the opportunity to be in the business. She loved getting into a character, finding out what makes them click, and fully emerging herself in whatever film she’s in. At the moment, she was promoting her new film, and being the lead, she had gone on a few talk show’s by herself, but they never failed to make her sick to her stomach. Having no one to turn to when it gets awkward, even not having body heat by her side in front of a live audience and a professional host made her body rack with goosebumps.

“Miss L/N?”

Her head turned towards the door of the dressing room she had been sitting in for 15 minutes alone, trying to get her nerves down. “Yes?’ She responded flashing a forced smile to the assistant standing in the door way. “They’re ready for you.” She nodded her head and stood up, brushing the non-existent dust off her long dress and tumbled a bit on her heels to follow the assistant that was already walking towards the side stage.

They instructed her to wait until her name was called, then walk onto stage and take a seat and have the show progress. So Y/N stood there, biting her bottom lip that was coated with clear gloss and her arms crossed around her waist, her heel covered toe tapping the floor in anticipation.

“Now welcome our very special, and gorgeous guest, Y/N L/N!” She heard Jimmy Kimmel announce and took a short breath before stepping through the automatically opening curtains. She smiled and waved at the people sitting in the audience, happy to see people supporting her, and greeted Jimmy before taking a seat on the loveseat closest to his desk.

“Y/N! Welcome, how are you feeling tonight?” He flashed a comforting smile at her.

She chuckled a bit due to her inability to not laugh in uncomfortable situations. “I’ll be honest with you Jimmy,” She said, adjusting herself in the seat. “M’ pretty nervous.”

“Nervous?” He asked. “Now, why would 2 time Emmy Nominee Miss Y/N L/N be nervous?” Jimmy teased.

Her eyes fell to the floor and her cheeks heated up before looking back at him. “Because,” She dragged out. “It’s always nerve-racking being on live TV.”

He just nodded and made a joke about feeling the same even though he does this every week.

“How are you feeling tonight?” She asked.

He smiled before resting his arms on his desk. “I’m feeling good, I have a surprise for you later, but I’m supposed to ask the questions now, will you let me?”

“Of course I will.” She smiled back.

Y/N met Jimmy the first year she really became “famous” and he had always been her favorite late-night talk show host just because he was never invasive or creepy. Her standards for hosts were quite low at this point. They continued on, promoting her new movie and such before he settled back in his seat.

“So.” He said.

“So.” She said back, raising a brow.

“I hate to ask you this, but I honestly am curious myself,” He began, and her anxiety creeped up just a bit. “Now, we dug through your old interviews, and it seems in every single one, when asked if you had a celebrity crush, your answer was Harry Styles?”

She simply nodded, her cheeks heating up again, and a small smile creeping onto her face at his name.

“I see that smile, Y/N.” Jimmy said, and she let out a laugh, her smile now wide.

“So, do you mind telling us why you like him so much, or should I say love him so much?” His brow raised.

Y/N laughed a bit more, just at her nerves, and took a breath. “Um, he’s always been such an inspiration for me to actually chase my career, I mean I knew him from when he was on X-Factor to be honest. Binged that show all the time when I was in middle school and to see a boy just 2 years older than me just go straight into being in one of the biggest boy-bands in the world was insane. He’s just so passionate about what he does and I admire him for that. Uh- from what I can tell he’s just very charming, sweet, funny, caring, and…” She trailed off her rant, biting her bottom lip just a tad.

“And?”

“He’s incredibly attractive.” She finished a smile on her face as she glanced at the floor again.

“Understandable. I think he’s a good looking man myself, met him a few times and got flustered,” Jimmy jokes before looking at Y/N. “What if I told you he was the surprise I had for you?”

Her brows furrow as she looks at the man sitting across from her. “What? Do you mean like a video-” She feels a tap on her shoulder.

Y/N turns around, still massively confused, and then she sees him.

Harry standing in a simple black suit and white button up, only a few of the buttons actually buttoned and her jaw drops. “Hello.” He says, smiling at her.

Her eyes are wide and she looks like a dear in headlights before her face falls into her hands, elbows resting on her knees, her breath erratic. “No, this isn’t- no. He’s not here.” She says into her hands and the crowd laughs. Everyone laughs.

“M’a bit offended you think I’m not really here, love.” Harry grins, and she pulls her face out of her shaking hands to see him.

She opens her mouth to say something and nothing comes out.

Harry Styles, her celebrity crush since the ripe age of 14, a crush thats lasted 8 years being 22 now, and she’s only seen him on screens her entire life. “Fuck.” Was all she can say. He laughs a bit at her starstruck appearance and turns to Jimmy. “She’s not normally like this, right?”

“Right.” The host jokes, looking back at the girl on the couch, and his smile diminishes a bit. Her eyes are watering and she’s trying to keep her composure but her bottom lip is trembling and Jimmy’s now worried he’s about to have a sobbing woman on live TV.

“You okay Y/N?” Jimmy asks and her head quickly turns to him and then back to Harry. “I-fuck, I’m sorry.” She tries to laugh it off. Tries not to think about how the man she’s loved even before she knew what love truly was, was standing in front of her right now.

“Don’t be sorry.” Harry says, slightly frowning but trying to keep a happy face. He’s standing in front of a girl he’s adored ever since he watched her first movie, for Christs sake, and she’s silently about to break down in front of him, because of him.

Before he can even properly introduce himself, she’s standing on her heels, wobbling a bit, and looking up at him. “Can I hug you?” She mouths, not wanting her question to be picked up on the mic on the back of her dress and before her mouth even closes he’s stepping towards her, big arms wrapping around her waist. Her arms find their way around his chest and her head is resting on his shoulder and her eyes are squeezed shut and she’s mouthing “Oh my fucking god. Oh my god.” Without realizing she’s facing the audience who laugh at her inability to not fangirl. His head dips as he hugs her, reveling in her touch, and then she’s pulling away, remembering they’re on live TV and she can give him a proper hug backstage after this is over when they don’t have to worry about appearances.

She’s still reeling when his hands slide off her waist and he sticks his hand out and says “It’s so nice to meet you.” She takes his calloused hand in hers and says “Same to you.” Blinking away unshed tears.

“Shall we sit then?” He asks and she looks at Jimmy admiring the moment before back at Harry. “You’re staying?” She blurts out before shutting her mouth abruptly.

“If you want me too.” He grins that grin she’s always been infatuated by and she nods, maybe too quickly. “Of course I do- yes,” She coughs. “Yeah, uh, please, let’s.”

They both plant themselves on the loveseat, Y/N taking the spot in which she was before and Harry sitting on the other end, keeping a distance between the two. She recomposes herself and sits up. Harry looks at her for a moment before looking back at Jimmy.

“How are y’Jimmy?” He asks.

“I’m doing well, proud of myself for inviting you, you’re the one person I’ve seen make Y/N go absolutely speechless here,” Jimmy jokes and Y/N groans and smiles, leaning her top half on the arm of the chair, her face in her hands before sitting back up. “How about you, Harry?”

“M’doing well, was very excited to see Y/N here and I’d hopefully say it’s the same for her.” He smiles looking at her, dimples flashing.

“Yeah!” Her voice squeaks. “You’re right. It’s the same for me. I-” She cut’s herself off from saying she’s shitting her pants at the moment. Figuratively, of course, but it’s not very appropriate. She still can’t believe this. Twitter is going to have a field day talking about how flustered Y/N was at this moment.

“Have something you want to say, Y/N? To Harry, more specifically?” Jimmy asks.

“Um,” She begins, locking eyes with Harry. “Did you hear, what I said, um, before you walked out here?”

The green eyed man nods.

Her hands start shaking again and she awkwardly laughs. “I’m sorry you heard that.” She apologizes.

“Why are you apologizing?” Harry asks her, tilting his head and Y/N was going to pass out. “I’m glad you think all those things about me, plus, it’s a nice ego booster to hear that you think I’m ‘incredibly attractive’.” He chuckles a bit, but truthfully he was happy his celebrity crush feels the same way about him.

She just laughs back and mumbles a “Thanks.” Before Jimmy starts up a conversation about whatever was going on at the moment.

Jimmy and Harry start talking about something and Y/N nods her head and laughs when it’s appropriate but she couldn’t process anything. Her hands were interlocked, shaking in her lap, and all she could feel was Harry. Harry sitting next to her, Harry breathing next to her, Harry waving his hands around while he spoke in front of her. It was all too much.

Suddenly his knee lightly knocked against her own. She abruptly turned to look at him, but he was still looking at Jimmy. So she assumed it was a mistake, until it happened again, and this time when her eyes looked to him, his met her’s and he gently and subtly moved closer to their thighs were touching. Y/N let the leg that was crossed over her other relax and fall to the couch, only her ankles crossed, and she swore she could hear his breath stop for a moment, but it was too quiet to be sure.

A few moments after they both had gained the courage to barely revel in each others touch, Jimmy was ending the show. Y/N doesn’t remember what she said or did before the camera cut off, she vaguely remembers waving to the audience but she’s not completely sure.

And then it’s over- just like that.

“This was so fun Jimmy, thank you for inviting me on.” Harry said, standing up (reluctantly) and going to give Jimmy a hug. Y/N on the other hand was watching the interaction and it all hit her like a wave again. Harry fucking Styles was standing in front of her. The men both turn to her as she stands up and she gives a weak smile and mumbles “I forgot I needed to text my assistant, m’sorry I’ll be back.” before speed walking behind the curtain and booking it to her dressing room. She quickly flips the “Do Not Disturb” side of the sign on the door to show and closes the door behind her, her breathing accelerating.

She barely makes it to the couch before bursting out in tears.

Y/N couldn’t really put a finger on whether or not they were tears of joy, sadness, embarrassment, or a combination of all 3. She’s pretty sure it’s the latter though. She slips her heels off and lies on the couch, her hands over her face with not so silent cries as she tries to calm herself.

Meanwhile, both Harry and Jimmy sensed that Y/N wasn’t just going to text her assistant. “Do you think- do you think I said something maybe?” Harry quietly asks the late night host as they walk behind the curtain and into a quieter hallway backstage. Jimmy simply shakes his head before locking eyes with Harry. “Have you seen any of the videos where she talks about you, Harry?”

He shakes his head no and the older man pulls out his phone, doing a quick scroll of his email before finding video file and opening it. “A couple of interns here made this combination of all the times she talked about you in her interviews.”We were gonna play it as you were coming out but her manager said it would be too embarrassing.” Was the only preface Jimmy gave before clicking play.

Y/N stood in an elegant emerald colored gown just off the red carpet, all done up for her first big movie premiere. An interviewer stands in front of her, holding a mic that the woman was moving between herself and Y/N. “So Miss L/N, we need some juicy secrets from the “It-Girl” herself. Who’s your celebrity crush?” Y/N looks at the floor, a shy smile on her face as the quietly says “Harry Styles.” The interviewer’s eyes widen and she chuckles a bit. “I feel you honey, what do you like most about him?” Y/N purses her lips slightly before speaking again. “Um, everything? I think he has a really good heart.” The interviewer makes a joke about how she likes his eyes instead and Y/N laughs, but anyone could tell it was forced.

The screen begins to play another clip.

Y/N is sitting on a couch with her co-stars of a movie she did a year ago, dressed in a classy blush colored suit, and they’re all playing a game with some other talk show host. “Let’s see who knows Y/N the best now, shall we?” The host asks, and looks down at the cards in his hand. “Who is her celebrity crush?” And almost immediately all of her friends were jotting down their answers on a white board. “That was fast,” The host laughs, as does everyone else. “Okay everyone, flip it around.” ‘Harry Styles’ was written on every single board. “Oh my god.” She smiles wide out of embarrassment and puts her face in her hands.

It reminds Harry of what she did when she first saw him.

“Y/N! Looks like you’re absolutely smitten with Harry Styles, aren’t you?” The host asks, and before she could even open her mouth, a co-star of hers was already speaking. “She’d play his songs in her trailer in the morning, full volume, and sing them as loud as she could. It was a good way to wake us all up.” He jokes, and everyone laughs at that. “Whenever he’d post a photo on instagram, or tweet something, I’d see tears in her eyes.” Another co-star speaks up. The audience laughs again and she looks to them. ‘I’m serious! Y/N absolutely adores him.” By this time Y/N’s face was out of her hands and she was sinking into the couch. “Are you embarrassed, Y/N/?” The host jokes “Of course not, well I didn’t want to get absolutely exposed, but I’m not embarrassed to be a fan, could never be embarrassed to be a fan of him, he’s… he’s amazing.”

The phone then fades into yet another clip.

This time, Y/N is sitting in a stool, doing the Wired Autocomplete Interview, and she tears off the second paper of the question, “Is Y/N L/N…” . “Is Y/N L/N,” she reads and the paper catches after the word “dating” is revealed. She looks up at the screen, a twinkle in her eyes as she shoots a close-mouthed smile at the camera. She turns back to the board and rips the paper off, struggling a bit and laughing, until it’s revealed. “Is Y/n L/N dating… Harry Styles” She bursts out laughing, her free hand clutching her stomach.

Harry frowns a but at this, and he didn’t feel like thinking more about why.

“Um,” She begins, “Sorry, I just- do I really talk about him, that much? S’a bit concerning.” She mumbles to herself. “Yeah, no, I’m not dating Harry Styles, he would never. Though, I like how people think it could be a possibility, thats quite funny. I’ll take the… hidden compliment, is that even the right phrase?”

The screen goes to another clip but Jimmy pauses it there and turns off his phone, turning to Harry. “You didn’t do anything Harry, it’s just you being here, she’s probably overwhelmed and-“

“Mr. Kimmel? Jones needs you.” Someone calls out to him down the hall and Jimmy slips his phone in this pocket and sighs. “Sorry, gotta handle this, thank you, for coming.”

“It’s okay,” Harry assures him, “Thanks for having me.” And at that Jimmy rushes down the hall in search of Jones, and Harry stands in the same spot

Harry knows how much he means to his fans, he’s seen them sob at concerts, break down at meet and greets, and when they tell him how much they love him when they run into him on the street. He knows this. But this felt different, for some reason. Maybe it was the burning feeling in his chest when she laughed off how he would never be with her, for what particular reason he has no clue (or just doesn’t want to address it), or how he couldn’t help but pop a dimple when he heard she loves his music. He wasn’t sure.

What he was sure of though, is that he needed to speak to her again, hug her for longer, actually get to know Y/N. So he walked into the main back room, walking down different halls until he came across the one that read “Dressing Room #4” and Y/N’s name scribbled in messy handwriting on the white board underneath. He knocked a little rhythm, and waited.

Y/N was still crying, to put it lightly. Maybe hyperventilating was the right word, because she was breathing quite fast, and there was a steady stream of tears flowing down her cheeks. She heard the knocks and attempted to calm herself down a bit, yelling out a “One second!” Before wiping under her eyes and walking to open the door. “Eliana,” She began, ready to wave her assistant way (not that she didn’t adore her, but Y/N needed to be alone before talking about everything), “Can you come back in like 15 minutes, I’m sorry I just need to-”

Her mouth closed when she saw Harry outside of her door, his small smile quickly fading into a frown as he took in her state. “Y/N I wanted to- are you okay?” He asked, stepping a bit closer, trying not to push any boundaries. When she didn’t respond and he saw her bottom lip quiver a bit, his chest clenched. “Can I come in? Can we talk?” He gently asked, eyes running over her puffy eyes, tear stained cheeks, and disheveled appearance.

She nodded and he walked in, and she gently shut the door behind him. He turned around to look at her and when his eyes met her’s, she couldn’t take it anymore. She let out a gut-wrenching sob and her face fell in her hands as she shook her head. “I-I’m so sorry, I’m sorry.” She choked out and he stepped towards her, his hand coming to rest on her elbow. “Y/N, please, don’t apologize.” And without thinking he took the last step towards her and wrapped his arms around her, holding her firmly, one of his hands cradling the back of her head. Her hands fell from her face and she held him back, arms wrapping tightly around his torso yet again.

As she cried into his chest, he mumbled a soft, “Breathe for me, love.”, and she tried to get her breathing to match his own deep breathes. “I’m sorry,” Y/N says for the millionth time. “I told you to stop apologizing, Y/N, you haven’t done anything wrong.” He frowns to himself, that burning feeling in his chest again. She reluctantly pulls away, and his hands remain on her arms as her own come up to wipe the tears flowing out of her eyes.

“You didn’t sign up to be here and have to deal with a crying fan, Harry.” Y/N sighs, finally looking up at him.

“Hey, I came because I wanted to see you, I’ve seen your movies and I think everything you’re absolutely incredible at what you do, and when Jimmy called asking if I could come to surprise you I jumped at the chance to finally meet you. I know what I signed up for.” He says, his thumbs rubbing the skin of her arms gently.

At his words she let out another sob, her shaking hands coming up to cover her face for a moment yet again. Harry’s eyes widened, he was telling the honest truth, and he didn’t think he said anything wrong. Y/N however, was seeing in person, how king he truly was, and it was just another reality check that the Harry she’s loved for so long really is the same in real life; it was too much to handle. “Thank you,” She sniffles, looking up at him again, meeting his piercing green eyes. “I just, I’ve adored you for years, still do, and I never thought I’d meet you, even after I started getting ‘known’, I always thought you were like, too perfect to be real, and now you’re here and you’re real, and y’know when you meet a celebrity who seems so sweet in interviews and all that but they turn out to be an absolute prick? It’s not like that, you’re the same person I’ve loved over a screen, I- you’ve been my inspiration for fucking years and I don’t know. It’s just a lot.”

Now her hands were on his arms and they stood there for a moment, just looking at each other.

“M’not perfect, Y/N.” Harry says softly. Y/n chuckles a bit, glancing to the side before meeting his eyes yet again. “I know, I know the ‘nobody’s perfect’ crap, but if you’re insistent on it, then I think you’re the closest thing there is to perfect, Harry.”

His cheeks turn pink at her confession, and a small smile weaves its way onto his face. “Thank you,” He finally says, before bringing her into another hug, this time her arms wrapped around his neck, and he bends down a bit to hold her tighter. “For everything you said, seriously, you’ve got no idea how much it means t’me.” He admits, still reveling in her touch. She slowly pulls away, noting in her head that he never seems to be the one to let go first. “Of course, wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true.” She smiles weakly, still drained from all the emotions flowing through her. He just smiles at that, before his hand drags down her arm and he hold her hand, wordlessly pulling her over to sit on the couch.

He doesn’t let go of her hand as they sit quite close facing each other. “Do y’wanna hear a secret? It might make you feel better.” He suggests, cursing himself for being willing to do anything to see her smile fully. “I wish I could lie and say that it’s something I wouldn’t know, but I think I know a bit too much about you.” She says, letting out a small laugh, and he does too. “I promise you don’t know this.” He mumbles.

“Okay, go for it.” She says, holding his hand a bit tighter.

“Well, after you bolted here, Jimmy showed me a few of your interviews, and I wanted to tell you that you’re my celebrity crush too.”

Her jaw drops and her eyes widen, a face that looks eerily similar to when she saw him for the first time just an hour prior. “You saw my interviews?” She gasps, her voice cracking at the embarrassment of him seeing her shamelessly confessing her love for him about a million times. It was safe to say she didn’t hear the rest of his confession.

“That’s what you’re focusing on here?” Harry laughs and raises a brow at Y/N.

“What else is there to focus on,” She groans, taking her hand out of his and burying her face into her hands yet again. “I can’t believe Jimmy showed you that, I’m never coming on this show again.”

Harry grins, a dimple popping as he gently wraps his arms around her wrists, pulling her hands off her face. “Did y’hear what I said after that?” He asks softly, his eyes bring into her own. She shakes her head “no” in response and he takes a quick breath before telling her yet again.

“I said, you’re my celebrity crush too. I’ve watched everything you’ve been in and I think y’are absolutely amazing, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t think you’re beautiful, inside and out.”

Y/N’s jaw drops for the thousandth time that night.

“You’re fucking with me.” She deadpans, her face blank and mind swimming with emotions.

He frowns and squeezes her hands. “M’not, swear to you.”

She shakes her head in denial. There’s no way she was Harry Style’s celebrity crush. Not in a million years would she ever think those words would be spoken, much less even thought of.

“You don’t believe me?” Harry asks, his head tilting a bit to the side.

“I believe tha you’re just too nice and you feel bad for me, so that’s why you’re telling me this.” Y/N admits to him, a sad smile on her face.

“Really?” He asks, letting go of her hands and bringing one of his own to his pocket.

“Really. I appreciate it, I do, but you don’t have to try and make me feel less humiliated, I think we’ve already passed the point of no return.” Y/N says, laughing a bit.

“Mmm, okay,” He smirks. “Well that just won’t do. May I have your number?”

She raises a brow as he pushes his phone into her hands, already pulled up on a new contact. She types in her number and “#1 fan” in the name and hand the phone back to him. Harry laughs when he sees the contact name and saves it to his phone, then putting it back in his pocket.

“What was that?”

“What was what?” Harry muses, a teasing glint in his eye.

She purses her lips. “Why did you just ask for my number?”

“So I can contact you of course,” Harry smiles. “How else am I supposed to set up another date with you?”

“Another?” Y/N questions, her lips turning up.

“’m a gentleman of course, would never ask you out on a first date over the phone,” Harry calmly explains. “So would you do me the honor of accompanying me to dinner tomorrow night?”

Y/n hesitates, unsure if this was still an ask out of pity. “You can meet me at my house, of course if you’re comfortable, and I’ll order us takeout to eat on my porch.” He continues, getting more exciting as he imagines how the date would go.

“What makes you think I’d say yes?” She teases and his mouth gapes.

“Oh fuck off.”

#I just used jimmy cause I didn't feel like making my own host up lolz #harry styles one shot #harry styles oneshot #harry styles #harrys styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles fanfiction #im literally half asleep but I needed to post this tonight #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n

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hadtochangemyurlquick · 4 years ago

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here’s 5.7k of the unsinkable 8 during the zombie apocalypse. good for fans of leatin and goodfoe. it’s super unedited and i’m mainly just posting it for fun cause i finished it today. some references to world war z the book for fun, and i used the zombies from that too.

A flash of blonde and Dot’s gun went up, pointed directly at the head of whatever made their way toward her. She had two bullets left, six cigarettes, and the last mini of hard liquor she raided from the motel back in Aquilla.

She’d have to get it in one shot, which would be hard sitting down, with her back to it, half delirious.

She grunted as she pulled herself around, her leg still out in the makeshift splint. The zed crept closer, not going at the usual hobbling pace. It definitely had caught her scent though, maybe it was down a few limbs already.

She cocked her gun, flicking off the safety, keeping her finger off the trigger. She’d wait until she could see the whites of its eyes. Get it in one shot.

The blonde head crept closer and she finally tucked her gun over the rocks, making eye contact with it for the first time.

“Shelby Goodkind?”

“Dot Campbell?”

Shelby stared at her, lowering her own gun and Dot let out a breath of relief.

“Dottie, oh my god, I thought you were one of ‘em.” She put away her gun, Dot doing the same and she ran over. “It’s so good to see ya, what’s wrong?” She looked at the leg, her face paling.

“Ankles broken,” Dottie muttered. “Was gonna treat myself to one last drink,” she gestured at the bottle.

“Oh lord,” Shelby said. “Well that’s no good, I got a place not to far from here I’ve been camping out in. Some first aid stuff too.”

“I can’t give you anything back for it,” Dot said.

“We both know two people are more likely to make it,” Shelby said.

She looked sunburned and hollowed out, a little hungrier than the last time Dot saw her, headed with her family to that military base. She was alone, and desperate, everyone was. Because here was how it went in Texas. You could trust a stranger as far as you could throw ‘em, but you needed people to live. So if you had people, you lived. And Dot was people, or as close to people as Shelby was willing to get. She musta lost a lot to lower her standards so far.

“Alright,” Dot said. “We’re gonna have to go slow and you’re gonna have to carry a lot of shit.”

“No problem,” Shelby beamed.

Back at the camp, an old rusting trailer with some battery Shelby told her she was saving for a rainy day, Shelby re-splinted her, fed and watered her, and they pooled their resources. Twenty-six cigs now, which might get ‘em a few hours in a safe car north, if they wanted it. Or it might get ‘em some food, or a get out of jail free card, depending on the hunger of the people hunting ‘em.

It was late at night when Dot realized she hadn’t even asked yet.

“Family’s gone then?”

“Yeah,” Shelby said. “You?”

“My dad died before this shit show,” Dot said.

“Lucky,” Shelby said. She took a swig from the mini, and passed it over to Dot. “What’s your plan?”

“I heard there was a safer spot near San Antonio,” Dot said. “Running water and shit.”

Shelby shook her head, “Gone, three weeks ago. Heard it on the radio.”

Dot nodded, “What about you?”

“Radio said Hawaii’s better,” Shelby said. “There’s an operation ferrying people there on the west coast. It’s a thousand cigs per person. But there’s work by the dock if you’re willing to do it.”

“Work for you?” Dot asked.

Shelby’s jaw tightened, “I’ll do what I have to do. Lord forgive me.”

Dot sighed, “Sounds like we go west then.”

They hung around in the trailer for three days, pushing the limits of what was safe, and stumbled on to a new place in the area at daybreak on the fourth day. Dot’s ankle wasn’t broken, with the inflatable cast Shelby had in a week or so she’d be something regarding useful, and as long as she didn’t push herself she’d be more than fine.

Spending time with Shelby Goodkind was another story. For one thing, despite the zombie apocalypse, complete destruction of their lives and modern society, the death of her family and everyone in their town, Shelby was still good and kind. She’d clutch at the cross around her neck every time they’d pass a body, and would never touch one, even the ones that were recent and obviously not stripped clean. It made Dot kinda mad, she found five cigs just walking, and she wondered how many Shelby passed off being squeamish.

But Shelby also wasn’t squeamish, wasn’t afraid to take down a zed with a kitchen knife, and with that same hand wipe the gore off Dot all gentle. She called her Dottie, gave her the last blanket, and always volunteered for the first shift so Dot could watch the sunrise. Dot hadn’t been cared for in a long while, hadn’t been around people in even longer. She decided she might love it.

But Shelby was a magnet, always had been, she talked about god’s light long enough that she got Dot believing it all fell on her. It wasn’t a real surprise when she showed up with a stray.

“What the fuck,” Dot said. “Did you kidnap a child?”

“I did not kidnap a child,” Shelby said, picking the girl up with some difficulty and lifting her onto the backseat of the broken down minivan they were holed up in.

“I sent you out to get sunscreen,” Dot said. “How did you come back with a child?”

“She’s our age,” Shelby said. “I think. And listen, I found her barricaded in a utility closet with a bad fever, I knew we had some tablets but I didn’t wanna leave her.”

“Like bite fever?” Dot asked. “We don’t have enough bullets to—”

“No,” Shelby shook her head, “Look,” she gently unwrapped a bandage around the girl’s arm, revealing a bad slice. “It’s infected. Not a bite. We’re okay.”

Dot sighed and nodded. The girl’d probably try and rob ‘em blind but if they watched her hands and got away fast enough they should be fine. They’d be fine.

“You’re more trouble than you’re worth,” Dot muttered. Shelby smiled, all sweet and gentle and bright and Dot rolled her eyes.

The girl took the tablets, they washed and changed the bandages, after about fourteen hours she blinked awake, unfortunately while Dot was on watch.

“Who—who are you?”

“Dot Campbell,” she said.

The girl stared at her.

“My friend saved your ass,” Dot said. “Shelby.”

“Um,” the girl inched back, “Why? Where am I?”

“We’re on the twenty-two, not from from the ten-eighty,” Dot told her. “You got a nasty infection there, got any cigs?”

“No, I don’t smoke.”

Dot blinked at her. “Alright then.”

“My friends will be looking for me,” the girl said. “I should get back to them.” She didn’t have an accent, Dot realized, not even a thin one like her own.

“Shelby found you around Mr. K’s, we can draw you a map if you’d like,” Dot said. “Where you from?”

“Austin,” the girl lied, badly.

“Alright then,” Dot said again. “Well we’ll draw you a map in the mornin and you can leave a day break. It ain’t far.”

“Thank you,” the girl said. “For helping me.”

“Shelby’s idea,” Dot said. Neither of ‘em slept the whole time, the girl smart enough to keep an eye out, and Dot’s whole job to watch out. She woke Shelby up when she was supposed to and easily muddled into a slumber.

A nice thing, about the zombie apocalypse, was Dot had gotten a lot better at sleeping. She used to stay up for hours thinking ‘bout how she’d pay the bills, how much her dad’s meds cost, whether he was coughing more that night than he did most nights, but now she hit whatever soft looking rock she decided to call a pillow and conked out until Shelby woke her. Shelby, on the other hand, barely slept a wink, shooting up at the slightest sign of trouble, even when Dot was on watch. Too much time on her own, Dot’d guess.

Before Shelby Mateo wandered with Dot. He was quiet and sweet and she had took care of him as best she could. Shelby didn’t have nobody before Dot. Just her dead parents, and if Dot remembered eighth grade soccer well enough, a couple of dead siblings too.

So Dot pretty much conked out and missed the way the girl and Shelby giggled all night. But even she wasn’t blind to their bond when she woke, the way the girls smiled easily at one another, laughed with each other, kept up with each other.

“Dottie,” Shelby said. “Martha,” so that was the stranger’s name “said you told her we could draw her a map but Mr. K’s ain’t far, we might as well take her.”

Dot grunted, she didn’t wanna waste a day but it wasn’t like Mr. K’s would take all day and they might as well see if they could find any more cigs. She hadn’t met any non-smokers in a long while. Apocalypse sorta took the fun out of being straight-edge, if Dot had to guess.

Dot took the back, a metal bat out and ready, and Shelby and Martha took the front. Shelby had a makeshift spear made, good for longer range, but worse up close, and she gave Martha the other bat they had. To borrow, Dot had emphasized.

One of the other things that never got old about the apocalypse, was walking up a highway. Walking straight up that middle line, knowing no one would dare drive a car ‘round there. It felt like the world was yours and empty, like you were finding it, rebuilding it, building it. It was as close to a cowboy as she had felt since her daddy let her ride on his back. It was as close to free as she had ever felt.

They got back to Mr. K’s and Dot saw the approaching figures first, aiming her rifle right at ‘em, safety off and gun cocked, but her finger off the trigger. It was Shelby’s hunting rifle, actually, but she had handed it to Dot first chance she had, looking kinda pale. She had Dot’s old handgun now, useless with this kinda range.

“Live ones?” Shelby asked.

“Can’t tell,” Dot said. “Just kinda standing there.”

“They could be waiting for me,” Martha said. Dot glanced at her, hoping the girl wasn’t actually as naive as she seemed. She probably was.

They walked as close as they dared, before Martha was able to confirm that yes it was her friends.

She ran at ‘em and one of ‘em collided with her, slamming her into a hug. There were two more, just kinda watching Dot and Shelby.

“We should go,” Dot said. “We did what we said.”

“Dottie,” Shelby said.

Dot sighed and the two of ‘em trudged up to the happy pair, reuniting like they had been separated for years, decades, instead of a few hours. It was a miracle they were reunited at all, Mateo said he’d meet her back at the camp in an hour and she had to bash his head in six months later with a sledge hammer.

“Who’re your friends, Martha?” One of the other people asked. It was four girls counting Martha, lucky, none of ‘em white, but they all looked around the same age as Dot and Shelby.

“This is Shelby,” Martha grinned, “And Dot.”

Dot nodded at them.

“I am just so pleased to make your acquaintance,” Shelby smiled, holding out her hand to the girl who still had an arm wrapped around Martha.

“This is Toni,” Martha said, squeezing the girl’s side when she didn’t take Shelby’s hand. “And Rachel and Nora.”

“Ah,” Shelby smiled, “Toni your sister right?”

Martha nodded, Toni glared. “Yeah it’s great to meet you or whatever. There a reason you kidnapped Martha?”

“I saw her passed out and worried she was alone,” Shelby explained. “I knew we had some tablets back at the camp but—”

“What do you want?” Rachel asked. “We got about six hundred if that’s—” Martha from Austin, Dot’s ass. Money hadn’t meant shit in Texas for awhile. These kids were from up north, probably pretty far up north too. Maine or some shit. Delaware.

“Got any cigs?” Dot asked.

“Yes,” Nora said. “We have a couple packs.”

“Great,” Dot held out her hands and two packs were dropped into them. Nora didn’t make eye contact the entire time, her hands fidgeting with anything. She was covered in scabs and scars, picking at her own skin probably.

“Where y’all headed?” Shelby asked.

“None of your business,” Toni said.

“Apparently the San Antonio Zone relocated to Tyler,” Martha said. “We heard some people talking about it last week.”

“Y’all got a radio?” Dot asked.

Martha shook her head.

“If you had one you’d know that that’s what they’re pulling now, telling people to go to Tyler, they shoot you as soon as you step foot in Athens.”

“So where are you guys headed?” Rachel demanded.

“West,” Shelby said. “Radio says they’re ferrying clean folks to Hawaii. It’s an island so.”

“Clean how?” Rachel asked, taking a step forward and lifting her jaw.

Dot sighed.

Shelby’s eyes widened, “Clean as in not infected, I mean.”

“Chill,” Rachel smiled, all thin, “I was kidding.”

“Great,” Dot said. “Not that this hasn’t been fun, but we should be going.”

“Wait,” Martha said. “It’s just, we might as well go west too. And we might as well go west together.”

“Marty,” Toni grabbed her by her uninjured arm, “I wanna talk to you for a moment.”

They got into a whispered argument for a few minutes. Rachel joined and it escalated but Martha came out on top, smiling as she approached them.

“We might as well go together,” she repeated.

Shelby’s smile was just as wide, “We would be alighted to have you.”

The new girls were a nightmare. Rachel and Nora, sisters as Dot would learn, hated one another. And by hated Dot meant, had a complicated relationship of love without trust or mutual respect. Nora didn’t trust Rachel, Rachel didn’t respect Nora, and they were constantly going at one another. Toni had some sorta toxic jealousy thing going on, despising Shelby because she was monopolizing Martha. She also tended to fly into these rages, making her wander off for long periods that had Dot itching to grab her gun and demanding the girl strip to check for bites. Mateo’s dad used to do the same thing, wander off to check his bite.

Shelby also was wholly focused on two things now: Martha, and Toni’s hate. Dot ambled along behind all of ‘em, keeping the sisters from killing each other, Toni’s voice down, and everyone else alive.

The worst part was it took Dot nearly three days before she caught sight of it.

“You have one hand,” Dot glared at Rachel. Rachel slung the pack over her shoulder.

“You’re just noticing that now?” Rachel asked. “I must be getting better with it.”

“The fuck happened?” Dot said.

“My hand got bit,” Rachel shrugged. “Cut it off before it spread, didn’t even know it would work.”

Dot whistled, low and quiet, like they were all used to being.

“I cut it off,” Nora corrected, sullenly.

Rachel rolled her eyes.

“I’m still quicker on the draw than you,” Rachel said, the words clunky in her mouth.

Dot set her jaw, “So y’all are sticking with the story that you’re from Austin?”

“We’re from New York,” Nora said. Rachel glared at her. “What? You think some group would waste three days on four teenage girls?”

“New York?” Dot asked. “Everyone knows it’s safer up north, why the hell are you down here?”

“You hear about Yonkers?” Rachel asked.

Dot shook her head.

“It was the last op the US military set up before they fell apart. We’d made it out by then but we watched it happen on the news. Someone in a group we had still had a phone and the whole thing was live streamed. All of the death. The group were supposed to go to some military bases up in Canada but we wanted a wide open space with plenty of guns.”

“Texas,” Dot said.

Rachel nodded.

“Stupid,” Dot told her. “You probably came for San Antonio too.”

Rachel sighed, “Nobody was gonna survive those Canadian winters without a base, and we weren’t sure we were gonna get one. Rather get bit than freeze.”

“How’d you meet Toni and Martha?” Dot asked.

“Toni and I got into a fistfight over some Takis,” Rachel said.

Dot nodded, “Fuego?”

“Fuego.”

And yeah they were a nightmare but quicker than Dot wanted they became her nightmare. Still though, she dragged Shelby away from Martha and Toni’s sides, and muttered, “we can still go. Ditch if you want. Whenever. We don’t know ‘em.”

Shelby, in high school, woulda been scandalized, muttered some bible passage at her. This Shelby was a little more grown and only looked at her all serious.

“You knew what I was when you picked me up,” she said. “And I knew what Martha was. We’ll face our consequences, I reckon.”

Dot nodded.

Walking all day, everyday, wasn’t easy stuff. Especially since they had to strip as many bodies as they could find. Nora figured it out pretty quick, mumbling something to Rachel who recruited Toni to storm over to Dot.

“You don’t smoke them, but you’re hoarding them,” Rachel said. “Why?”

Dot kept her easy pace. “These things are currency now, the value’ll only go up over time.”

“Currency for what?” Toni asked. “What are you trying to buy?”

“You think a ferry to Hawaii is free?” Dot asked. “I’m saving for all of us.”

“Dottie,” Shelby walked over, Martha sticking by Nora, “What’s up?”

“How much?” Toni asked. “Really, how much?”

“A hundred each,” Dot said, too quickly.

“Try again,” Rachel said.

“Dot,” Shelby got between them, looking at Dot. “Thou shalt not lie, right? Tell ‘em the truth.” Dot glared at her and Shelby turned back around to Rachel. “It’s five hundred each. We got about a hundred now, so no one’s going to Hawaii.”

“What if there aren’t enough?” Toni asked. “Who decides then?”

“We’ll draw straws,” Shelby said.

It was as easy a solution as anything but the tenseness started building up, Rachel and Toni viewing Dot with more suspicion. It’d fade, over time, Dot knew. Or they’d all die.

The worst it got, was actually Shelby’s doing, the easy peace maker of it all. They hadn’t bothered building a fire, despite how cold and exposed it got in Texas at night, but they huddled together between three cars they found abandoned along the highway that they pushed into a triangle. Someone got to the seat cushions of all three first, so there was nothing comfortable to lie their heads on. It was easy for Dot though, the asphalt as soft as anything to her now.

They stayed up later than they should’ve talking. Trading stories about their old life that all of them knew weren’t doing any good. Toni played basketball, was pretty good at it too. Rachel had a skill for swimming she’d never have again. Nora did quiz bowl, surprising no one. Dot talked about metal, fishing with her dad, what types of pills sold for what. Martha was a dancer, and a vegetarian once. It was something that made ‘em all crack up. When humans become man eating beasts, and once upon a time there were jokes online about vegans. Shelby talked about the yearbook, mission trips, Andrew.

But then cause Shelby started it by prattling on about Andrew Toni got it in her head to talk about Regan and Shelby was talking about Leviticus.

The next morning, Rachel quietly pulled Dot aside and told her to take all the cigarettes and head out. That they could make their own way west. Dot didn’t ask for an invitation to go with her.

They split off at the twenty-five, Dot and Shelby heading for the forty, Toni, Martha, Rachel, and Nora heading for the sixty.

Shelby was heartbroken for a few days, apologetic too, and grateful. Dot didn’t let her have any of that, only said, “It’s cause we’re from the same town. We might be the only ones from there left.”

They trudged on.

In Arizona Dot found the love of her life, her soulmate, Fatin Jadmani. In a completely straight way too. Fatin matched her tit for tat, spoke a language Dot hadn’t realized she’d been born knowing. Her girlfriend was an anxious woman named Leah, who Shelby got on with. Dot had worried, upon bringing the two back to camp, that Shelby would chase ‘em away again, but she hadn’t. Just smiled at the two of them, easily offering up a couple granola bars.

Whenever tenseness came about Fatin just laughed, and Leah rolled her eyes. It wasn’t perfect, Dot knew, there was too much hate for that, but it would last ‘em long enough. The four of ‘em just worked in this great lovely way.

Only problem was their destination.

“We barely managed to get out of LA,” Leah mumbled, she hugged her legs, her head leaning on Fatin’s shoulder.

“LA?” Shelby asked. “That’s where we’re headed.”

“What the fuck?” Fatin glared at Dot, “Dorthy I thought you had more sense than that.”

“There’s some military guys ferrying people to Hawaii,” Dot said.

“Where’d you hear that, the radio?” Fatin asked. She sighed at their nods, “They’re broadcasting out to whoever will hear it, but there is no ferry to Hawaii. The entire thing is just selling and shipping as many girls out as possible. We have no idea where though.”

“So when you say you barely made it out,” Dot said.

Fatin’s face was grim.

“We have to warn ‘em,” Shelby said.

“Warn who?” Dot asked.

“Toni and the others! They don’t know!” Shelby stood up. “I’ll plot out the course now and we’ll start out fresh tomorrow. We aren’t leaving ‘em to—to—we aren’t leaving ‘em.” She stormed off and Dot watched her go.

“She wants to go towards LA to help some motherfuckers who kicked you out of their group?” Fatin asked.

“Yeah,” Dot said.

“Are you gonna go with her?” Leah asked.

“I knew what she was when I picked her up,” Dot said.

“What do you wanna do?” Leah asked Fatin.

Fatin pressed her cheek to Leah’s head, “I don’t know if I can risk you.” Fatin looked at Dot, “Are you gonna be stupid?”

“No,” Dot said.

“Then we’ll come,” Fatin sighed. “Leah that okay?” Leah nodded.

Neither of ‘em were as good at offing zed as Shelby and Dot. Fatin was decent at finding stuff though, scoping stuff, and Leah had endurance none of the rest of ‘em could match. She was like a zed sometimes, just kept going, could keep going, until her knees wore down to dust and then she’d crawl, crawl until her fingers wore down to nubs and then she’d inch, inch until something put her out of her misery. It terrified Fatin and Shelby, but Dot couldn’t help being impressed.

So Dot ambled after Shelby toward Bethlehem on the forty but they were gonna leap back on the interstate and hopefully head ‘em off. Hopefully Martha, Toni, Rachel, and Nora’d be alive, and they’d find ‘em. And if they didn’t find ‘em, hopefully they’d be dead. And Shelby stopped sleeping about a day or two into trek. Would just keep staring at the maps and keeping watch, and taking inventory and thumbing around her necklace.

When Dot woke up on the third day of their walk, Shelby’s hair was much shorter and Fatin looked real scared. Shelby kept walking and walking and, in a fit of rage that matched Toni’s, launched her necklace off the highway. She looked like she regretted it after but they had no choice but to keep going.

They passed an arm and it looked like Rachel’s.

Shelby walked faster. Leah had that glint in her eye. Fatin took Dot’s hand and looked very very scared.

After two more days Shelby said fuck it, and found a car with some gas in it and told 'em to get in.

Dot stood in front, “Shelby,” Shelby glared at her, “This’ll attract every body in the fucking country. The sound, the smell, I’m not just talking about the dead ones neither.”

Shelby swallowed hard, “You gonna stay behind then?”

“Shelby,” Dot said. “If you leave me here I’ll get caught up in the hoard. That what you want?”

“Get in the damn car, Dottie!” Shelby said.

“If we get to ‘em in time, but there’s a fucking hoard following us, we won’t have anywhere to go but on,” Dot said. “Fucking think!”

“I am thinking,” Shelby spat back. She shoved Dot, “I’m thinking about Toni, and Martha walking from Minnesota to Texas only to die in California. I’m thinking about Nora and Rachel watching Yonkers fall and then getting shipped off to who knows where. That’s what I’m thinking.”

“Shelby we can make it,” Leah said.

“No we can’t!” Shelby said. “I’ve done the math, I keep looking at these maps, there’s no way we’ll make it in time without a mode of transportation. No car and they die.”

“Then what the fuck are we going there?” Dot asked. “If it’s too late—”

“It is not too late!” Shelby said, her throat was all closed and choked sounding. “I can save ‘em! Jesus fuckin Christ we have to help ‘em!”

“Shelby,” Dot said, she put a hand on her shoulder. “We can’t take a car, and we can’t make it by foot,” Shelby’s face crumpled. “They’re gone, alright? We should be planning our next move.”

“No,” Leah said. She shook her head, “We have to help them.”

“You don’t even know ‘em,” Dot said.

“I’m not letting four innocent girls go through what I nearly went through,” Leah said.

“I’m with Leah,” Fatin said. “We’ll take the car and play it by ear.”

“Play the-hoard-that-will-start-coming-after-us-the-second-we-turn-on-the-engine by ear?” Dot asked.

“Let’s vote,” Shelby said. “All in favor of going?”

Fatin, Leah, and Shelby all raised their hands.

“C’mon,” Dot begged. She looked at Fatin, “You told me not to be stupid!”

“So don’t be stupid,” Fatin said. “Get in the car.”

Dot sighed, wanted to punch something, wanted to cry, was too tired to do either, got in the car.

The car attracted so many fucking zed, they wouldn’t be able to stop, and they had to hope there was enough in the fucking tank to get them to wherever the four were. Dot watched the dead bodies creep closer, at their slow hobbling, relentless pace. Fatin drove, Shelby used her pike to spear any who got too close, Dot watched the maps and steadily got herself into a panic.

They were gonna die trying to save the asses of some girls they spent a couple days with.

This was not what Shelby was when Dot picked her up, this was not what she was. Shelby had gone behind Dot’s back and fucking grown as a person, hadn’t she? How the fuck was Dot gonna get away from her? She’d have to pack Fatin in a suitcase and then Leah too and that would mean entirely abandoning Shelby to be on her lonesome oh god.

Dot was stuck, wasn’t she.

As they kept driving Shelby had to keep spearing zed. It started off as one or two, but as the hours wore on they were leaning on five, six, a steady growing mass ambling behind ‘em.

If that had really been Rachel’s arm, they were probably dead. All of ‘em. Or maybe in the mass behind ‘em. And if they weren’t, they’d hear the car coming and head for the hills, assuming it meant a hoard was close behind. Which it was.

This was such a fucking terrible idea.

“So what, we just wait for a sign to say welcome to LA and then give up? We won’t find ‘em like this,” Dot said.

“Shut up!” Shelby said, she speared another.

“At least check you ain’t offing one of ours,” Dot said. “They could all be zed, for all we know.”

“I said shut up,” Shelby turned to glare at her and a zed slammed against the door. She speared it and Dot’s mouth clamped shut. “We just gotta keep going,” she said. “We’ll be fine, we just gotta keep moving.”

“You’re crazy,” Dot said.

Shelby didn’t have anything to say to that.

It was worse at nightfall, with visibility down, and they just had to keep going, to hope their car wasn’t stripped when they went over the bumps of mutilated corpses still hungry for a last meal.

“We’re almost to LA,” Shelby said. “We got nearly a hundred cigs, we might be able to bribe someone if they jump us.”

Leah snorted.

They were driving through an empty enough part of Nevada though, less corpses hurling themselves off the road and towards them. Still the ever growing mass behind ‘em now, maybe fifty, seventy five, but about twenty out.

“I gotta piss,” Dot said.

“Hurry,” Fatin said.

Dot stumbled out, no one noticing her grabbing her pack. The zed would follow the car, she’d make a clean break. She’d survive.

She was only seven minutes south, judging by the north star Shelby taught her to find when someone’s hand grabbed her. She pulled out her hand gun, jamming it into the head and flicking the safety off.

“Dot! Jesus Christ!”

The girl was wide-eyed, tan, hollowed out, empty and desperate. Reminded her of the empty pill bottles around her house after her dad died.

“Toni?”

Toni nodded, “Why are you here? Fuck that I don’t give a shit, you got water?” Dot handed it to her and Toni downed it. “The other’s are close, c’mon.” She stumbled as she got up, clearly dizzy, and Dot grabbed her forearm.

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you guys,” Dot said.

“Don’t tell me it’s you in the fucking car,” Toni said. “We’ve been running from that thing for ages.”

“I fucking told Shelby,” Dot said.

“Shelby?” Toni asked, she was almost too exhausted to sound disgusted, but she managed it.

“Listen, LA isn’t safe, we found out. They’re not taking kids to Hawaii, they’re taking them.”

Toni went pale, “Fuck.” She even sounded choked now. “Shelby’s having a fucking aneurysm worrying about you so I don’t even think she’s that fucking homophobic. I’ll get everyone back to the car, you tell ‘em I’m coming.”

Toni nodded, stumbling towards the street and Dot walked back to the direction Toni pointed to before she left. Rachel, Nora, and Martha were all in various points of disarray. Exhausted, dehydrated, starving, aching and bleeding. Dot had to half carry, half drag Nora with Martha and Rachel had to get a stick to lean on as they stumbled toward the street.

“We got like ten minutes,” Fatin said. “People are gonna have to double buckle, and before anyone else makes a decision, we’re going north.”

Dot strapped everyone in and found herself sitting next to Shelby who met her eyes in a hundred yard stare.

“You took your pack.”

“Yeah.”

“But you came back.”

“Yeah.”

“Fine.”

They started on again. Dot saw Toni keep sneaking glances at Shelby and Shelby kept sneaking ‘em back.

They weren’t far from Mt. Tobin when the two finally stopped dancing around each other.

Dot convinced everyone to ditch the car near LA, walking as quickly as they could once they did, knowing it’d take awhile to ditch the hoard too. Dot watched Toni talk to Shelby in low tones, Shelby full of apologies and panics and Toni keeping her cool longer than Dot had ever seen it.

Martha took to Fatin quickly, everyone did, and Nora and Leah spent long hours walking beside each other mumbling about books or something. Not anything Dot gave two shits about.

Rachel ambled along with Dot most of the time. Whenever Fatin and Leah were all over each other and Dot didn’t feel like third wheeling. Rachel was always listening to the radio and as time passed it became clear that the two of them were the most capable of keeping everyone alive. And not in a more knowledgable way. Because Nora knew what plants were edible, and Shelby was a better shot. Or in an emotional way, because Fatin and Martha handled that. But in a planning sorta way. Because Dot knew how to get them to point B, while Rachel was working on point E.

“We should go to Washington,” Rachel muttered on one of the late nights they spent keeping watch while they poured over maps. “We might be able to find a boat to Victoria.”

“Victoria?” Rachel pointed her out.

“It’s a Canadian island. Canada lasted a little longer than we did, Victoria might not be in such a bad way.”

“Less guns in Canada,” Dot said. “And there might not be a boat that’ll take us there. Plus, we don’t know the currency.”

“We’re eight teenage girls,” Rachel pointed out. “We stick around so close to Cali, we’re asking for trouble. We need to put an ocean between us and whatever the fuck they’re doing there.”

Dot sighed. So they’d go to Washington.

On the way they’d probably run into another group who’d tell them Washington was overrun but there was something decent in Wisconsin. Half way to Wisconsin someone would tell ‘em their information was bad and they need to get south where there were guns and space. They’d almost be in Georgia when someone would tell ‘em there was some real government up in New York again.

They’d follow pipe dream to pipe dream to pipe dream. They’d probably die young.

Toni curled around Shelby, holding Martha’s hand. Fatin and Leah held on for dear life. Rachel didn’t take her eyes off Nora. Dot watched them all.

Yeah they’d probably die young. Better than dying alone.

#gus writes #the wilds #the wilds fanfic #goodfoe fanfic #shoni #leatin fanfic #leatin #dot campbell #leah rilke #fatin jadmani #shelby goodkind #toni shalifoe #rachel reid #nora reid #martha blackburn #the unsinkable 8 #the unsinkable eight

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thelightofthingshopedfor · 3 years ago

Text

so I wrote most of this...four days ago, and then somehow didn’t get around to finishing it until just now, which feels super weird because after writing this I started getting worried about future episodes again for a variety of reasons, and of course now we’re at T minus 10 minutes? (honestly if I’m somehow late for my own funeral I’m pretty sure no one will be surprised.) but I still wanted to post this to go over some of what I liked so much about episode 4, even if...I am no longer anywhere near as confident as I was a few days ago about where the show might be going. whatever.

***

I’ve done almost nothing for the past day or so except chew over episode 4 some more, partly trying to figure out why I liked it so much when it was broadly very divisive, and I realized that a lot of what I’ve been feeling from this episode is relief.

the thing is I’ve been paranoid since at least Infinity War about Marvel doing setup that looks like it’ll lead to a big payoff and then nothing (Loki’s death, but also Gamora’s and maybe Vision’s, and the general fact that the “fix” to IW was convoluted, took place much later, and caused as many problems as it solved, and just, Endgame in general), so I don’t really trust Marvel that way anymore. plus Marvel has pretty badly fumbled a lot of different things in the past, especially on various social issues, by introducing unfortunate implications that apparently didn’t occur to them even though they’re obvious to literally everyone else...stuff like Thanos’s “sacrifice” of Gamora, or how the Flag-Smashers were portrayed and Karli was a villain for no real reason, or how it would’ve been so easy to add a couple lines in WandaVision that would fix the whole thing where the Maximoffs weren’t just whitewashed but they also voluntarily worked with Nazis and they whiffed that too.

so, while I’ve been enjoying the show, a lot of that enjoyment has been based on meta I’ve seen and me sort of going “this interpretation is really cool and it makes a lot of sense, but at this point I can’t know if it’s something the showrunners are doing on purpose or if they sorta accidentally implied depth where there wasn’t any and it’s not actually leading anywhere” with things like the TVA being very clearly authoritarian but also supposedly the good guys, Loki being constantly described as an awful person, Loki sometimes being manic or incompetent, etc. etc. etc., along with the similar interpretation of “sure, we fans know all this stuff about how Loki is not an awful person actually, thanks, and the people who arrested him aren’t automatically Good Guys just because they’re in opposition to him but casual viewers--including not-casual-but-not-fannish viewers who should really know better--have not figured any of this out and so the show needs to go out of its way to demonstrate things that are obvious to us” but I wasn’t sure. the second half of episode 1 made me feel pretty good about where the show was headed as far as Loki’s characterization and emotions were concerned, but the more lighthearted aspects of 2 and 3 had me wondering again.

so then what happens in this episode?

the TVA goes fully mask off. the Time-Keepers are in fact fake, the Sacred Timeline by extension is also basically fake, the people who work there are all variants, the ones we know (C-20, B-15, Mobius) show grief and anger over the lives that were stolen from them, Sylvie is arrested as a child who did absolutely nothing wrong (and then put through the same process Loki was in episode 1, which is cool because a lot of it was kinda played for laughs then but showing the same things happening to an innocent child also serves to reframe what happened to Loki as, hmm, not that funny after all maybe!), Renslayer is willing to prune innocent people--friends and coworkers, even--just because they learned too much, all the sinister propaganda WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SINISTER

Loki gets very serious very fast in this episode. he displays a lot of genuine emotion and trauma but he mostly does it in a calculated way that shows just how fast his brain works and how he’s always, always thinking about what other people want/expect from him. (like--even the complaint about too few guards seems to fall into that category, given that he only says it after Mobius insists he must be wanting to make some kind of quip!) his self-image is garbage but through Sylvie he’s starting to maybe work on that. he goes up against multiple armed enemies while completely unarmed and holds his own until he gets a weapon. he pushes back when it matters and doesn’t just accept everything Mobius throws at him. he lies, pretty competently (the fact that Mobius doesn’t believe him is...really not his fault, considering Mobius wouldn’t believe him at first about the truth either, so I’m pretty sure he wasn’t planning to believe anything Loki outright told him), when it actually matters, primarily in what sure seems like an attempt to protect someone he cares about.

and Mobius. says that Loki WAS RIGHT. ABOUT THE TVA. FROM THE BEGINNING!!! I would still love to hear him say explicitly, look, I said a lot of shitty things to you and tossed in some actual physical torture at the end there oops but the vast majority of it was stuff I didn’t really mean and was only saying to get a reaction and/or information and of course it turns out I was wrong about all the TVA stuff, so I want to say for the record that I was wrong about you personally in many different ways and I’m sorry. (which, honestly, would probably be very awkward for both of them because I doubt Loki has much experience receiving genuine apologies.) but I’m mostly okay with it if he doesn’t, because I feel like you were right from the beginning, and by the way you can be whatever you want does a decent job of implying most of that. (...enough for casual viewers to pick up on it? well, I’m not hoping for miracles but sure, probably some of them.)

in other words? all that stuff the casual viewers were missing (not helped by misleading statements from the showrunners), about the TVA so clearly being bad guys, and Loki being a pretty decent person who presents different versions of himself in different situations and also has some shitty coping mechanisms, and the other Loki variant also not being evil just because they were trying to take down the TVA? we were right. that is, in fact, how the showrunners intended all those things to be taken. they didn’t want to come right out with that stuff at first because they wanted to tell a story and have some twists, and the fact that these things were twists for casual viewers is exactly why it was frustrating to a lot of fans, because it felt like obvious things were being misrepresented or overlooked. I still think that’s reasonable, because see above on why Marvel doesn’t necessarily deserve that trust, but at this point I’m a lot more comfortable believing that this specific show more or less knows what it’s doing.

I mean, yeah, there were some cool fan theories that went nowhere, like the whole thing with the broken TemPad, and I agree that was dumb and it’s very annoying that it really was just sloppy writing, but I guess specific things like that just...don’t bother me as much as more systemic, overarching elements like the characterization of Loki and the TVA. and yes, of course I’ll always be annoyed that we’re apparently never going to get explicit confirmation that Loki’s alliance with Thanos was coerced at best. but, you know, what we got isn’t nothing.

#loki #loki show #loki spoilers #mobius m. mobius #sylvie #marvel cinematic universe #meta #loki meta #my meta #I should add links but uh...maybe later

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bakugous-bbygirl · 4 years ago

Text

~Social media boyfriend~

Bakugou Katsuki x F!Reader

There needs to be more quarantine stories. Like come onnn we’re all stuck together anyway. That’s why I’m doing the public justice of giving us more fan fiction that’s current to the times. Please enjoy!

Warning: swearing. That’s it really.

Being stuck at home was really getting to everyone and it was pretty clear. From almost finishing your second year to having to do your third year at home. You didn’t even want to know how your hero course was gonna go. But now everyone is online all the time posting things they never would have if they got to go outside more.

You of course followed almost all your classmates on social media. Mostly twitter and Instagram, everything else was a little too much. You had your fair share of classmate followers so your posts were mostly pictures of everyone hanging out or weird selfies you took while half awake.

After reading one too many fanfics you opened Twitter to see a certain profile you liked scrolling through.

You have no clue why Bakugou had followed you one day but you figured it’s the poilte thing to follow back. After scrolling for an hour though you had pretty much summed up all of his account into a few words

Self centered music guy.

A lot of his tweets were just pictures of himself flexing in his mirror or screenshots of whatever his playlist consisted of with aggressive captions telling people to fuck off or listen to the song. Those pictures of his arms though. Ahh those hit differently.

You had a crush on the blonde since you started your first year however you didn’t think it shift into you calling him your online boyfriend and making constant tweets about him.

Nothing super obvious just the simple like “why can’t he love me back” or “when he learns I’m real it’s a wrap.” And on Instagram if it’s a cute photo of yourself your caption would consist of something like: “once my online boyfriend learns I’m desperate maybe we could cuddle” you know nothing weird or anything.

After scrolling through his twitter you found a old tweet that actually made you laugh. Like it was something actually funny. You figured kiri got ahold of his phone and posted it before Bakugou blew him up. It was a picture of Bakugou on his floor fixing his Grenade bracers with the tweet “he looks so cute all focused!”

You accidentally tapped the like button and didn’t even realize how weird that would’ve looked as you swiped out of the app. You went to your messages to text Mina since she always kept you busy durning these lonely days. “Hey crackhead you up yet? It’s almost 3 in the afternoon”

she replied pretty quick asking how you were and if you wanted her to FaceTime you. And who were you to turn down a chance to talk to your best friend?

After answering the call mina’s goofy pink face appeared on your screen while it looked like she was laying on her couch. “Hello!!” “Hey Mina.” You couldn’t help at smile how bubbly she is while talking to you. You figured her extroverted personality was put through the ringer being forced to stay at home. “Soooo how have you been? I see your keeping your social media pretty up to date with your creepy obsession with your online boyfriend?” You hold up your middle finger as you see her laugh “it’s not creepy. It’s the same as liking a famous person. You guys just don’t get to know who he is.” “Ooooo so he’s famous? That makes it totally normal.” You rubbed at your neck moving the phone from your face so she can’t see the Blush. “Well, kinda, not really, sorta..” you then noticed your phone vibrating that you got a new notification. “Oh hold up, I wanna check this.” “Oh no just ignore me as I try to find out who it is you love so much. I would really like to know someday” you waved her off with your hand going to your home screen, “you will one day. Hush up now.” You scrolled to the top of your screen to see your notifications and saw it was from twitter and it was someone wanted to message you, you played it off as Mina or one of your friends wanted to mess with you about a tweet you made early in the day or something. “What’s the point of messaging me when we’re on the phone?” You went back to the call to see Mina tilting her head like a bird “what do you mean? I didn’t message you?” “Oh, I figured it was you sending me something stupid on twitter. Lemme see who it is then.”

You opened twitter while half way listening to whatever story Mina felt like telling at that moment and noticed the message was actually Bakugou saying “what the fuck” “Oh it’s just Bakugou. Weird he normally doesn’t send me anything” you opened the message just as Mina said “maybe it’s him telling you what you tweeted was dumb or pointless? That’s normally what he does to me.” You laughed and saw he had sent a screenshot of a notification he got from you like a tweet from legit a year ago. You almost died. “Ahhhhhhh shit I gotta go minathanksforcallingbye!” And flat out hung up in her face. You couldn’t believe you were dumb enough to like the tweet. Why didn’t you notice? God you were stupid.

And what’s even worse you already opened the message and he could see you already read it so In a panick you just typed out some half ass reply acting as if you were confused “what? I didn’t do anything to you” you then texted Mina explaining how weird he probably thinks you are. “sooo Bakugou is mystery your online boyfriend and you got caught totally creepin?” You face turned red as you replied “I never said he was my crush!” “you posted on Instagram yesterday that sometimes you scroll through his account and read his old tweets. Get busted y/n.” You threw you phone away from you on the table and layed Your head into your pillows.

You were so caught. Almost all your tweets and posts from the last few months were you thirsting over this boy and showing how lonely you are durning this quarantine. You wouldn’t be so embarrassed if it was someone you were closer too, Like kirishima or denki. The fact Bakugou barely spoke with you durning your time in classes made it feel even weirder. How could you be so dumb to forget your one rule of being a simp. No liking old posts or tweets. Just saving the photo depending on what it is. That rule just got tossed out the window as you pushed your face tighter into the pillow. No way was he gotta think your cute or whatever after this.

The sound of your phone going off got your attention and you reached for it slightly hoping it was Mina with a way to get you out of this. However it was the dreaded online boyfriend messaging you again. “Don’t play dumber than you are dumbass. The fuck is with you liking my old tweets” You really didn’t have the best response so you came up with the best you could. “Mina had my phone. Sorry she was being weird.”

That was so dumb. You both knew good and well that no one was allowed to be around each other since this whole virus came out. Could this day get any worse? Yes. Yes it could shut up.

“Try again.” Was all he replied with but you could hear the smug in his voice. Like no way was he gonna not call you out for this. The only times he did speak to you was when he was being an ass and making fun of you. Or when he grabbed your hips and moved you out of his way. You always loved that because his hands trapped your figure so perfectly but decided it was better to keep that to yourself. You were fully ready to admit defeat. There were no more lies you could come up with on the spot. “alright look, I’m sorry if it’s weird. Honest mistake.” This was your last shot to keep your dignity after such a embarrassing day.

It actually took him a while to reply. You figured he was too busy to entertain your contuinus lies until you got a notification from Instagram saying Ground_Zer0 liked your post. You opened the app to see he liked the picture where your caption was you basically admitted you scrolled through his old tweets because he was your online boyfriend. Before your brain could kick you for posting that bold statement in the first place you got two more messages from him. He had screenshotted the picture and caption. “So gonna keep lying like I don’t follow your accounts” Yep. Mina was so right. You were busted. Nothing much was left to be said. You were caught simping on one of your classmates who was aiming to be the number one hero. Just great.

“You gonna reply or what dumbass” Here goes everything. No reason to keep your lies, nothing much to lose.

“Alright so yeah I’ve liked you for a while now, I don’t know what about you makes me like you so much but I always found you really cool. Your so passionate about wanting to do good it’s almost silly how mean you are to everyone. Your not all that ugly either so that helps or whatever.” You confidence found half way through texting him. Not like he could make fun of you to all your friends and school. He doesn’t seem like the guy. Right?

“Oh.” Oh. That’s all he has to say. What the shit. What type of reply is that! Here you are pouring your heart out and that’s all he says back! This was kinda worse than him laughing! You barely got a reaction at all! “So how long have you liked Me” you took a second to think of the least creepy answer, “I mean since the beginning of our second year, why?”

It wasn’t a whole lie. Like since you had liked him the beginning of last year too. Your heart was beating out of your chest. Your emotions were clearly a wreck. From anger to slight confusion and embarrassment. What if he used this against you for real? Like you could never live down how much you really thought about him and wanted to be around him. It was pretty clear since you layed eyes on him you really cared about him.

“Well, I’ve liked you longer so I guess it’s my job to ask your dumbass out”

“Wanna be my girlfriend you weird stalker?”

You legit couldn’t believe it. You rubbed at your eyes for a good five minutes. Was he being serious? Was it a joke? You couldn’t think straight your head was so fuzzy “OI DONT LEAVE ME ON READ DUMBASS!” “If this is a way to make fun of me it isn’t very funny Bakugou.”

It seriously wasn’t funny. You knew for a while he felt nothing back for you, he never liked any of your posts or made much of an effort to even talk to you when you guys did attend school. He was clearly better friends with Mina since she even got messages from him, even if they were insults you would’ve taken what you could get. No way were you setting yourself up any more to get laughed at.

At that moment you got a FaceTime call from a number you didn’t have saved. You had no clue who it was. Against your better judgement you answered figuring that telemarketers don’t make FaceTime calls. What you got was a grumpy looking Bakugou staring at his screen. You could feel his eyes staring through you. You wanted to throw your phone so far it wasn’t even a joke. “Bout time dumbass.” He was layed out on his bed with a black wife beater hanging loosely on his body. You could tell he hasn’t moved from the bed in a while since the sheets and blankets were slightly messed up. “Now tell me. You see anyone else in my fucking room?” You shook your head in a confused manner, what was that question for? “Okay then. So it’s clear this isn’t a fucking joke. I like your dumb ass. Now will you please be my real girlfriend?” You stared at his face for any sort of sign it was still a joke.

But all you got was Bakugou blushing. Wait blushing? Seriously. That’s screenshot worthy. “I..well..w-wait we can’t even see each other?” You heard him grunt as a smirk appeared on his lips “if that’s your way of saying yes ain’t no stupid virus keeping me from kissing you like I’ve wanted to forever now.” “N-no way! You’ll get in trouble! Or sick!” Your face filled with heat as his words flowed so confidently. Like he knew all this time this is everything he’s ever wanted to say to you. “Did you not hear me? No virus is keeping me from you or getting me sick. Just let me say your mine stupid! I won’t fucking ask again.” “Y-yeah! O-okay I’ll be your girlfriend!” Another smirk tugged at his lips. “Damn straight. Alright get ready I’ll be there soon.” After that he hung up.

“Wait what?! Don’t come! Hello? Ah shit.” You still couldn’t really believe that all this really happened. You just got a boyfriend. After accidentally liking his post. From a year ago. Wow. What luck! You opened Instagram to congratulate yourself by posting the screenshot you had snagged but saw that a certain someone had posted a screenshot of you looking all confused durning a FaceTime call.

The ass screenshotted you looking confused after he asked you if anyone else was in his room. You looked at the caption and it absolutely made you turn red

“Thanks for giving me her number pinky.”

P1nky commented “anytime! Get you some!”

You hate your friends. You do love them. But you seriously can’t stand them.

Thank you all for reading so much! Also thank you for the 100 followers! I appciate it a lot and it gives me more reason to keep writing!

#my hero academia #mha #boko no hero academia #bnha bakugou #bakugou #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #coronavirus #covidquarantine #covidー19 #x reader #mina ashido

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olde-scratch · 4 years ago

Text

So I watched LUCIDS 1-4 without any prior knowledge...

and here were my thoughts. I didn’t watch any backstory or anything so enjoy my suffering.

PART 1

“So what happens when the people inside of their dreams go to sleep?” They die

“What happens when we wake up? Do they go on living while we’re not there?” THEY DIE-

“Who are they anyway?” they’re faces that our brain catalogs and stores for later use, although it’s also arguable that every time we dream we go to an alternate reality and inhabit the body of another version of ourselves. Now, were you in a car accident and trapped underwater or-

Are they twins?

(Me tuning out to do something)

“-the squirrel in spongebob was your soulmate, making you a Sandy simp-”

Me, snapping back to the video: hold up-

[missed the part about the worksheet, realized it when i rewatched 10 mins later to make this post]

yall speakin gibberish idk what youre saying-

“I’m gonna go to bed.” bro it literally looks like morning-

“You should get some sleep you look terrible.” i get six hours of sleep a night minimum and i look worse than him shut up bro-

“jump into someone else’s dream” ah i know this con-

why they all got the same face-

haha funni meme

“--an interruptiion can create feedback and tear them apart.” Death. I long for thee.

Is that Karl Jacob’s jacket?

“a second grader” makes me think this is a different school system. [i was wrong? i think?]

“[get him to] eat your apple”

[in the dream sequence] weird dream, but ive had weirder. now, Why Pamper’s-

why does he suddenly have a knife-

“You put a filter on the Dreamscape feed?”

“Technically, you are seven years old.”

???????????

the second hand embarrassment is UGGGHHH

[reading the description] you mean like the guy who was knocked out for 2 minutes on a football field and woke to find he’d dreamt 17 years of his life? oh this shall be Fun

PART 2

[I check the description] “jasper cult” what the fu-

how many camp camp references can i make during this

Is the apple a reference to religion or does the creator just really ilke apples?

“meal.”

“meal?”

meal????

Wait why couldn’t that guy eat the apple? If he wanted it in the fruit bowl, wouldn’t there be a chance of the guy eating it anyways?? Why can’t the guy who brought the apple eat it?

well he’s Dead

[debating if I should read the backstory}

n a h h h h h -

Was he gonna feed the dead guy the apple or something? Why is he upset about the apple in this scene???

oooo the grownups are fightinnnngggg

Is he an antagonist?

HE WROTE A BOOK???

oh now i want food

ESTABLISH JUSTICE ENSURE DOMESTIC TRANQUILITYYYYYYYYYYYYY

“I watched all those aforementioned shows” what shows did i miss something what-

man why you gotta hate on her jane austen fanfic let her live bro

string theory! i can get behind that! sorta-

o no he found the memes-

BOY GOT KNOCKED OUT-

kim there’s people that are dying-

is SHE an antagonist?

quinn? calling himself jasper? u sure hes not just nonbinary? is this just a metaphor for transphobic parenting?

“He died... but somewhere, he grew up.” So is your plan to take a Quinn from a different universe and make him your own, thereby robbing another version of yourself from happiness? When does this ever go well?

Yknow most people, when they lose a kid,,,, kinda,,,,,,, dont go on a ceaseless quest to find another version of their kid that grew up without knowing that another version of his mother was invading other peoples’ dreams to find and kidnap him,,,,,,,, like aint u got a therapist-

“Once you get past the point of not knowing what’s real anymore, you realize it doesn’t matter.” Well, I Got Called Out-

PART 3

“you’re real, oliver.”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

“you’ve been infected by the anti-love parasite of Mandadon” the amatonormativity is strong

so anyways ive been infected since birth hbu-

“James Jasperson, creator of Japple” did you mean to Fancy Well-Educated Man in a Black Turtleneck? cause the only FWEMBT i allow near me is prof. hidgens

“are you winning?” says the capitalist

why did you rewind to see his face?? you have the same face????? is this just bc the creator doesnt like working with other people cause in that case same but???????

“it’s a bad idea. i’m not gonna do it.” we’ve all been there. and we’ve all done it.

looks like me trying to study. (i say, a person who has studied a total of five minutes throughout their entire life.)

your “Spartan trial” looks like a bunch of guys standing on a hill pretending to be something they’re not. Let The Man Bring His Snacks.

eat the apple.

is this your first existential crisis or something what a loser lets all point and laugh

“One of you should be spared, the other shall’nt.” did you mean shant or was that a choice-

yall gonna get called out for talking shut UP

“sorry if this is too personal, btw. are you okay?”

me, confused and half understanding what’s going on and also needing to sleep cause its almost one in the morning but wanting to finish what i can find of lucids which i only starting watching cause i saw an animatic of ranboo and dream w audio from it: i don’t know anymore

“i just want my life back... i was gonna get married-” AREN’T YOU LIKE SEVEN-

ay man if this is a sacrificial cult yall gotta get daniel-

UPDATE: I H A V E N O T F O U N D I T -

“oliver”

I F O U N D I T -

WHICH ONE IS QUINN?? WHO’S JASPER???? WHICH ONE IS BENJAMIN???? I THOUGH BENJAMIN WAS SEVEN BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED WHAT-

oliver. eat the apple.

“Can you still have memories even when you’re dreaming?” One time I woke up to my alarm and fell back asleep and in my dream I remembered that I had class in a few minutes and my dream self woke my real self up so fast I thought I was gonna get whiplash. Anyways, I was late to class bc of my computer but that doesn’t matter.

NOPE I FOUND IT. HERE’S THE AUDIO. THE ANIMATIC ONE. FINALLY.

im thinking car crash. but also maybe murder. but also maybe both? is it raining or was he drowning? is he in a coma? hmmmmmm?

wait olivers the one with the apple does that mean he’s the one dreaming? is the ending gonna be him and jasper (quinn? idk) fighting against ben and mrs hills about jasper eating the apple to save oliver from the dream? hmmmmmmmmmm-

waitwaitwait i thought oliver was 7 how is benjamin 7 years younger than him if they look the same age what what what explain america explain what you mean arkansaw-

are the cuts on his nose plot-relevant or

“What if you hadn’t been driving?” So I was right about the car accident but Mrs. Hills still said he was seven so did i mishear her say that BENJAMIN was seven? but even then oliver would be 14 and that would still be illegal-

“How are you feeling?”

“Like you’re a pretty bad therapist.”

mood

“--it makes it all bearable to have power over the stories we write in our heads” that’s why i write fanfiction

HE’S GOT THE NOTEBOOK HE’S GONNA WRITE SOMETHING ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

WHAT YOU MEAN AN EXPERIMENT THAT’S HIS NAME-

[upon reading the description] so i was right.

wait was that supposed to be the twist in part 2 about the apple in his pocket is that what the existential crisis was about i thought it was because he was introduced to the multiple worlds theory-

PART 4

wait wasnt the other one january 2018 why we going back to 2017-

appol

“--the future and the past all already exist” mhm yep figured this out long ago

there was simultaneously a point in time in which i hadn’t known about this, had been looking it up, had been watching it, and had been writing an ending to this post, and had been posting it the next morning before class. that time is both now and not now. Welcome To The Multiverse Theory or whatever its called-

“--my favorite scene of the movie is waking up next to you.” Mine is eating fast food as I listen to AJJ and play Minecraft. We are not the same.

Now I’m hungry but it’s 1 in the morning and i already put my retainer in god fu-

[reading description] what do you mean previously??? she did that in the first episode????????

[still on description] WHAT DO YOU MEAN WILL QUINN BITE THE APPLE AND GO TO BENJAMINS REALITY ISNT THIS OLIVERS REALITY AND HE HAS TO GET BEN TO BITE THE APPLE WHY IS APPLE CAPITALIZED IS THIS THE DOING OF THE FWEMBT

i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have wa-

[description] oh ive been spelling quinn right the whole time nice

i hope she rejects you /j

WAIT BENJAMIN WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE

ISNT HE IN SECOND GRADE-

HE IS SEVEN YEARS OLD HOW IS HE GETTING MARRIED ARE THERE TWO BENJAMINS THAT WE’RE FOCUSING ON-

bro get out of the road ull get hit

how do you knOW WHICH ONE IS QUINN THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON-

wait

hills wants ben to feed quinn the apple bc in his mind, that will give hills and quinn a happy ending and she doesnt want ben to see the apple bc thats gonna mean ben will know that his reality isnt reality at all. so then oliver has to,,,, not let anyone eat his apple? he just has to wake up?

IS HILLS THE VILLAIN AFTER ALL ORRRRR

wait but if ben sees the apple wont he realize that his reality is wrong and his reality will change, making it so that hills doesnt get her son? or is there some time-based rule that says they’re only transported to the reality that the person believes at that moment? or is this another stab at the multiverse thing where an infinite amount of hills gets their happy endings while an infinite amount of hills doesnt and etc etc?

i should have watched the ba-

oooo dramatique

they’re in a time loop?

nope thats a new powerpoint

wait so theyre,,,, no-

wait-

nvm-

IS THE BEN WE KNOW AN ADULT GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE OR NOT-

“they were actually pretty nice” didnt they throw someone off a cliff-

oh so it got confusing THEN??? NOT BEFORE?????

“it all seemed so real.” is that Not the point of vivid REM sleep hallucinations-

is oliver gonna show ben the apple and ruin hills’ whole operation

WHO ARE ALEX AND RYAN-

“what’s 25-8″ bro dont do this to me-

yep hes gonna show the apple

ayyy the guy who stole karl jacobs jacket it back

the second hand embarrassment is back and I Hate It

all that happens in episode ONE??? bro get some better writers that is bad pacing

“it’s the best!” wait until season eight. no show has a good season eight.

quinn knows about the apple thing w the dreams and multiverse and realities dont he

YOU KILLED HIM

NOT KARL JACOBS NOOOOO HES ALREADY DIED ONCE

oliver is v relatable

wHaT iN tArNaTiOn-

lemme hear that explanaton again-

is bill cipher gonna show up? i hope bill cipher shows up. i miss gravity falls

“ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” moooooooood

did hills murder quinn

is your family the jasper cult

TOXXIICCCCCC get that lady out of your life quinn that is so toxic

“ ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree! ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’S THE END NO WHAT WHY NO

The Adventures of Benjamin and Oliver

he is Not Good

ope-

wait so ben is equal parts an adult AND a child?? okay that clears a lot up

I MEAN HE WAS RIGHT THO BEN U CAN’T REALLY ARGUE ON THAT-

ew get off the floor

butterfly effect, multiverse theory, memory decay, and your imagination ALL exist yall gonna ignore that cause you wanna be famous?

“We already know what the future looks like!”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

to add to the list of bad things: Cats (2019)

YA BOI THINKS IT’S NOT ALREADY FIFTY YEARS TOO LATE TO START FIGHTING CLIMATE CHANGE FFFFF

BINGO BABYYYY

get what what

what mapped-

awwwww he thinks THEY’RE creating the multiverse

you gonna dismiss the multiverse theory bc of something you created in your current reality? loooserrrrrr

ABUSE YOUR GODLIKE POWERS

she draggin that seven year old

a lot makes sense now why didnt i do this first-

Jasper

the food shortages-

bro that calculators like 90 bucks at walmart

imagine meeting a stranger and they know Everything about your life like that’s gotta be so weird

what’s even weirder is them telling you you’re the deity of a cult that sacrifices animals

THAT FOURTH WALL BREAK WAS-

KARL JACOBS IS DEAD NOOOOOO

ooohhh there’s context for that

OOOOHHHH THERE’S CONTEXT FOR THIS TOOOO

w h a t -

W H A T -

Conclusion:

it’s 2 in the morning and i need sleep but hOOOOO MY GODS THAT WAS GOOD IS IT OVER OR NOT IDK ANYMORE IM TIRED THAT WAS CRAZY I HOPE QUINN AND JASPER GO ON TO BE VERY GOOD FRIENDS, AND I HOPE BENJAMIN AND OLIVER STAY VERY GOOD FRIENDS AND I HOPE HILLS FINDS A THERAPIST WAS A LITTLE CONFUSING BUT I ENJOYED IT

if i dream about apples im suing /j /lh

#lucids #nicholas podany #there's a metaphor in there somewhere #but im not gonna be the one to find it #i dont think i dreamed about apples #youre safe for now podany #for now #EDIT #I PUT 'something their not'#WRONG THERE #I HAVE NO EXCUSE #IM SORRY

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officialleotolstoy · 4 years ago

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Oh Dolokhov/Hélène Brainrot We’re Really In It Now, aka Dolokhov/Hélène playlist annotations!

I stole several songs from a playlist my friends have and I’m not gonna put those on this list, I won’t pretend I came up with those

The ship playlists (since they aren’t for canon couples) are very much based on my headcanons. We don’t get to see them interact literally ever so I’ve just extrapolated what I can. Several of these songs are at least alluding to sex, I don’t really think they actually slept together for various reasons I can enumerate if someone asks, but it’s more about the vibes of the song.

Casual Affair - Panic! At The Disco

It’s literally in the title. Bestie how much more explanation do you need? I don’t even like this song but it’s got the right energy

Those Nights - Bastille

“Aren’t we all just looking for a little bit of hope these days? Looking for somebody you can wake up with?”

Being drawn to each other because of mutual loneliness is a Thing in my interpretation of their relationship, and this hits the nail on the head.

But It’s Better If You Do - Panic! At The Disco

“Praying for love and paying in naïveté”

Again, mutual loneliness and desperation for anything resembling love. Also the “isn’t this exactly where you like me” bit fits because they won’t admit to liking each other outside of their weird intimate moments.

Hurricane - Panic! At The Disco

“Drop our anchors in a storm”

The circumstances of their lives arent super fun at the moment so they find refuge in each other but in a very weird kind of unhealthy way! “We are a hurricane” sort of alludes to knowing that you’re causing problems/your relationship isn’t great.

Almost (Sweet Music) - Hozier

“I’m almost me again, she’s almost you”

It’s about not really being In Love but kind of convincing yourself you are because it makes you feel better in the circumstances. I don’t think either of them were fully into their relationship for various reasons. Not as in they didn’t want the other, more that they were both too aware it would never work for long.

Hall & Oates - Satchmode

“I want to be in love again, with you”

This one’s about wanting the idea of love and companionship more than you actually like the other person, which I feel like kind of fits. This song is framed as one person in love with the other and one hesitating, but i think this works for both of them to hesitate.

Feel Something - Jaymes Young

“Touch me, someone, I’m too young to feel so numb”

The I have tried like six times and I can’t word why I think this song works. I don’t even like it, I skip it every time, but I think it’s got something to do with loneliness and desperation for love driving them to look for it in places they wouldn’t normally? Who knows. Send me an ask if u do.

Another Place - Bastille

“Don’t make promises to me that you’re gonna break”

They could never actually be together for SO many reasons and I think they’re both pretty aware of that. They have no desire to pretend that their relationship is anything other than what it is (“we only ever wanted one thing from this”).

When You Were Young - The Killers

“You sit there in your heartache, waiting on some beautiful boy to save you”

I do not think Hélène expected Dolokhkov to save her from anything except maybe monotony and loneliness, but this song slaps and if I can stretch the lyrics to work, I will

broken - lovelytheband

“I could be lonely with you”

Almost every song on here (including this one) is just. We’re messed up and I know we won’t really find love in each other but we might find solace for a while and be less lonely so uhhhhh wanna kiss me or what

Bleed Magic - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

“You stand up, stand up, before I drag you down”

They are NOT good for each other! Toxic relationships uwu

Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood

I believe in bi4bi Hélène/Dolokhov

Enemy Fire - Bea Miller

“Sweet words from a serpent’s tongue”

This song is kinda complicated and parts of it don’t fit but the energy of “everything sucks including you but at least we can hide from the suckiness together” is sorta there. Originally I just added it for the soldier vibes because I was testing out songs but I realized i can fit some of the lyrics so on the playlist it goes

Angel of the Small Death and the Codeine Scene - Hozier

“Her sweetened breath and her tongue so mean”

They are horrible and cold to each other as a love language. This song is essentially just “Wow my evil scary gf is so hot” and you’re right Fyodor. She is.

Shut Up and Dance - WALK THE MOON

I won’t lie this one’s mostly a joke, I just think the vibes of telling someone to shut up as (maybe because) you’re falling in love with them is Dolokhov/Hélène energy. Ignore all the parts about wanting to be with her forever and her being his destiny that is not why I added it.

Lone Ranger - Rachel Platten

“I’m just gonna leave, ‘cause baby I’m a lone ranger”

I do not think Dolokhov was intending to stay with her forever at all. Very rude of him. However, she probably also knew it wouldn’t last forever, she’s not stupid.

House of Memories - Panic! At The Disco

“Promise me a place in your house of memories”

This is very much post-duel, their relationship has fizzled out but it was pretty important (do I mean emotionally or to the plot? I’ll never tell) and deserves to be remembered.

American Beauty/American Psycho - Fall Out Boy

“I’m the best worst thing that hasn’t happened to you yet”

SO MANY of these lyrics are so good for them like. Hélène’s beautiful Dolokhov’s a psycho... “you take the full truth and you pour some out” can you imagine them being open and honest with each other? Yeah, me neither. “We were pity sex” They were just sad and lonely! That was what allowed anything to happen at all in my head (not sex but bear with me it’s not my fault those are the lyrics). “All those dirty thoughts of me, they were never yours to keep” because Hélène is married to someone else, they really have no right to think of each other that way.

Sk8er Boi - Avril Lavigne

“He wasn’t good enough for her”

UNIRONICALLY THIS SONG. Hélène’s complaints about Dolokhov staying with them are just the quoted lyric. “They had a problem with his baggy clothes” yeah Dolokhov’s not as rich and bougie and the rest of them and he’s certainly rough around the edges. And then the skater boy ending with a successful music career vs Dolokhov ending with a successful military career and a great reputation and both the women in the songs having sad endings...I’m not wrong.

Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet - Fall Out Boy

“Does your husband know the way that the sunshine gleams from your wedding band?”

The affair vibes. The AFFAIR VIBES. And the concept of “I will never end up like him [the husband]/ behind my back I already am” in reference to using Hélène and deciding he hates her right after deciding she’s hot...okay! I see you kinning Pierre, Dolokhov. You ARE being just like her husband :/

You Give Love A Bad Name - Bon Jovi

“Shot through the heart and you’re to blame”

This is just Dolokhov’s massive I Hate Women monologue condensed. Stop blaming beautiful women for YOUR attraction to them maybe 🔫

Death Valley - Fall Out Boy

“Don’t take love off the table yet”

This is not a table sex joke this is not a table sex joke this is not a table sex joke this is n-

I didnt add it for that reason it was about a vibe but then. I realized. Now the original reason doesn’t even matter.

Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner - Fall Out Boy

“I’ll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake”

Tell me the quoted lyric does not SCREAM Hélène/Dolokhov. You can’t. Also “I’ll weigh you down I’ll watch you choke/You look so good in blue” really captures hatred as a love language.

This is Love - Air Traffic Controller

Ok I stole this from my friends’ playlist but I did want to explain it because it’s not JUST Dolokhov and Hélène in my mind. The whole jealous fool second verse gives me Pierre around the duel energy as well

Bad Boy - Cascada

“Be my weekend lover but don’t be my friend”

Bernie Sanders voice I am once again asking you to hear me out about the unironic meme songs on my War and Peace character playlists. It’s got the refusal to admit that she actually likes hanging out with him down. The line “after some time you just pushed me aside” referring to Dolokhov teasing Pierre about their affair because he got bored. “I dont need you in my life again”...YEAH I’m fairly sure they dont interact in canon again after that.

Hayloft - Mother Mother

“My daddy’s got a gun”

This song started playing on accident once when I was listening to this playlist and I was like huh. It fits though. The gun thing is twofold: 1) Though he is not her father, Pierre does have a gun in the duel and 2) I think Vassily would happily shoot Dolokhov for his relationships with Vassily’s kids. It’s also just the general forbidden love vibes mixed with the violence vibes.

affection - BETWEEN FRIENDS

“I’m looking for affection in all the wrong places and we’ll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces”

Have I been clear enough about my thesis that their relationship is based in mutual loneliness? Also, I like the acknowledgment that this is in fact the wrong place. I think they’re both very aware of that.

Walk Away - Franz Ferdinand

“Yes I’m cold but not as cold as you are”

This song is for them post-duel. Especially the “I cannot stand to see those eyes as apologies may rise/I must be strong, stay an unbeliever” because 1) I hear the word eyes, I think of Dolokhov and 2) I think she’s too smart to believe any apology he would give her, she knows he doesn’t really mean it. The song kinda reads as someone trying to convince themselves they’re happy that the relationship is over, which I think is definitely what happens for both of them.

Van Horn - Saint Motel

“Tell me do you hate me? Or do you wanna date me?”

Obsessed with the dynamic of “I like you but that’s embarrassing for both of us I’m gonna act like I hate you instead”

#war and peace #helene kuragina #fedya dolokhov #my post #w&p playlists #helenkhov #is that their ship name??? idk #someone tell me what it is ill owe u my life

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lovetenya · 4 years ago

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✧ 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐮𝐧 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲?

pairing: tamaki amajiki x gn! reader

warnings: moderate angst? nothing really bad, but it’s there.

word count: 2.2k

author’s note: this is wayyyyy more than i intended on writing in one sitting. i apologize in advance for the absolute garbage formatting, this is the SIXTH time i’ve tried to post it because tumblr loves trashing my work. honestly? i think i was possessed by my love for tamaki and that’s why we have a 2.2k hc.

welcome to...

✨mutual pining with tamaki amajiki ✨

you’re new this year to UA and really nervous to start in the hero course

how could you possibly achieve greatness when you’re starting later than everyone else?

fortunately, you didn’t have much time to worry, because immediately upon arriving you saw a huge blond man hurdling toward you

it was mirio, who immediately took you under his wing when he was asked to show you around

thank god he didn’t show you his quirk

on the way to class, he told you snippets about his friends nejire and tamaki, who both sounded really nice (he warned you about nejire’s questions)

he assured you that you’d make your own friends soon, but you could sit with them at lunch for as long as you wanted

finally, lunch time rolled around and mirio walked you to the cafeteria.

he brought you to his lunch table and introduced you to nejire, who immediately began rattling off about 78 questions, ranging from ones about your old school to what your favorite food was to what’s your favorite class and on and on and on

nejire damn near asked for your social security number by the time you noticed the pointed-eared boy with rose tinted cheeks who was quietly listening to every word you said

he was staring intently at you with stars in his eyes

and failed to pretend he wasn’t enamored with you when you met his glance

mirio only realized that he forgot to introduce him when he noticed that tamaki didn’t immediately break eye contact with you.

he introduced tamaki, who gave you a small polite wave before averting his eyes and bolting out of the cafeteria

tamaki leaned his back against the outside wall, covering his eyes, thinking about how kind and sweet you looked

just hearing you say “hi, tamaki, nice to meet you” made him blush profusely

and how you looked at him

wow, he was gone

he thought about how he couldn’t seem to breathe the entire time you were there

yOu ToOk HiS bReAtH aWaY

he really hoped he didn’t seem rude to you on your first day, but he might’ve exploded if he stayed there for another moment

confused, you asked mirio, “did i do something???”

he said “he’s just a little shy, that’s all.”

nejire would say “a LITTLE??”

even months into the school year, tamaki would be so nervous around you, not knowing that no amount of awkwardness could drive you away or make you think he was weird

cuz you like him!!! (that’s me teasing you)

the both of you would complain to mirio about each other, not knowing how hard he and nejire were trying to make things work between you two

ultimate wingmen: mirio and nejire 😎

but you’re both helplessly clueless and cannot possibly fathom that the other would ever like you

at first, they would try to not-so-subtly hint to you two about the mutual crush

mirio: “maybe you should take y/n to the movies, i’m sure they’d like to go with you sometime. like now! they’re free tonight!”

tamaki: “ha. ha. very funny.”

tamaki: “wait, why do you know they’re free? that’s so weird mirio”

mirio: 🙂

nejire, a different time: “y/n!!! maybe you should ask tamaki for help on this assignment. he’s really good in this class and i’m sure he’d be more than willing to help you if you asked!!”

you: “no, it’s okay. i don’t want to bother him.

nejire: 🙃

i hope you’re willing to make the first move, because tamaki certainly isn’t gonna do it

gather your courage cuz this one won’t be easy

you didn’t want to freak him out or make him run away again, so you’d try to hint at the fact that you wanted to spend more time with him.

you figured that at least if he didn’t like you, you could hint at the fact that you liked him, possibly starting a chain reaction toward love???

being vague was a mistake

(my heart breaks for you)

you: “tamaki, what’s a good idea for something to do on a first date?”

his first thought was “i’d do anything with you”, but of course he couldn’t say that out loud.

he barely ever said anything to you. you probably didn’t even know his name.

he’s blushing a deep shade of pink by the time he realizes that he still hasn’t responded, but he doesn’t really care.

he’s hurt by your question, as innocent as it may have seemed.

“why on earth would they ask me for dating advice unless they only saw me as a friend?”, he thought. “were they trying to tease me? i’m sure it’s obvious i’ve never dated anyone. they probably think i’m an idiot. god, i’m such an idiot.”

distraught, he went to mirio.

tamaki tried to seem relaxed, pushing down his anxiety for a moment. he said,

“did y/n say anything to you about a crush? a boyfriend? a girlfriend? a significant other? anyone?”

mirio, excited, thinking tamaki’s going to ask you out: “no, why?!”

tamaki, rambling: “because they asked me for dating advice and i haven’t ever heard them say anything about someone they’re thinking about romantically at lunch and irealizedthatireallydontwantthemtodateanyoneelse.”

mirio, who did not understand a word tamaki just said: “so did they ask you out or...?”

tamaki: “that’s not something you should tease me about!! you’re the only one who knows i like y/n!”

mirio: “...oops”

tamaki: “what???”

mirio: “well, i maybe, well actually, i kinda sorta, uh-“

tamaki: “mirio. what did you do?”

mirio: “i accidentally told them that you like them, and-“

tamaki can’t believe this is happening.

he bolts before he can hear the rest of what mirio was trying to say:

“-they like you too.”

he’s so embarrassed that he wouldn’t talk to you for two weeks.

sure, he misses eating lunch with people, but he just wouldn’t be able to face you. he couldn’t. there’s no way.

he’s so upset with mirio, too.

tamaki trusted him.

tamaki trusted him with something so personal, so raw, so special.

what was mirio thinking?

did... mirio want you for himself?

tamaki knows mirio could have anyone he wanted, easy.

would you be happy with mirio?

he didn’t know.

would you choose mirio over him?

“of course they would. why would anyone choose me when they could have someone like him?”, he thought.

he couldn’t go back to lunch because he couldn’t stand to hear you talk about your new significant other, (especially if it was mirio) and it was even worse now that you knew he liked you

(so much that it broke his heart to even think about you with someone else)

he couldn’t even look you in the eye.

so he ate lunch in the library.

alone.

he refused to talk to mirio and nejire just isn’t the confrontational type, so that left you to get him to come back.

unfortunately, you hadn’t spoken to him in two weeks.

and you were convinced he hated you.

and he was convinced you hated him.

the way you saw it, mirio told tamaki you liked him and then tamaki stopped talking to you.

you felt rejected. and cold.

and alone.

no matter how much this sucked, you couldn’t deny the fact that you really, really missed him. you liked being around him. you liked ordering his lunch for him. you liked hearing his small voice let out a “thank you” and feeling his fingertips brush yours when you handed him his food. every time, you’d both look away, avoiding each other’s glances.

and no matter how much this sucked, he couldn’t deny the fact that he didn’t want to be in this library. he wanted to be with you. you made him feel so strong, so secure, so safe.

you gave him a light he never had before and he wanted it back.

tamaki’s light laughter and sweet smiles never ceased to make your day.

until they disappeared.

and tamaki’s light went out.

you had to get him back, even if you would only ever be friends.

he had to get you back, but he didn’t know how.

you had to get him back, even if it would hurt so bad to like him from afar.

even if you already shed so many tears over him, the boy with the rose tinted cheeks.

you just wanted to be friends again.

you’d do anything to get him back.

even if it hurt.

one morning, you left home early so you could swing by tamaki’s favorite tea cafe and bring him his favorite, hoping maybe he’d at least talk to you if you brought him something you knew he liked

you walked into the library and looked around. tamaki was sitting in the corner all alone by the window, seeming incredibly focused on taking notes.

you really didn’t want to screw this up, so you tried walking toward him in a way that wouldn’t startle him. it didn’t work.

he jumped when you set down the cup in front of him. his confused eyes read the shop’s name on the cup and he winced when he looked at you sitting across the table from him.

he hadn’t seen you in forever. it was like the first time all over again.

god, you looked nice. and god, he hated that.

he just wanted this to be over. it hurt too much. quickly wiping the starry look from his face, he said,

“oh. thanks.” it was emotionless.

you replied, “excuse me?”

the sound of your voice brought back all of his emotions at once. you sounded annoyed. he couldn’t do this. he was ready to cry.

“i-i said thanks. for the tea.” he looked back at his notes, but you both knew he didn’t need to study. he couldn’t look at you again, or the tears forming in his eyes would surely fall.

“that’s it?” you said.

he was shocked. he never heard you talk to anyone this way, and you especially never talked to him this way.

what did “that’s it?” even mean? were you teasing him? did you come all the way here just to tease him? you knew he had a hard time with conversations. especially ones with you.

he couldn’t breathe. his lungs burned, screaming for him to just inhale, but he didn’t want to smell you again. you always smelled so good, and he hated himself for noticing. what kind of freak likes how their crush smells?? (everyone, tama)

his mind overflowed with doubt and desperation, the tears threatening to plummet onto the ink of his neat handwriting below. he was desperate for you, and he hated it.

even though they’re right there, they aren’t mine, he reminded himself.

and they never will be.

he swallowed. somehow, he managed to choke out “what? what else d-do you want me to say?”

you looked upset with him, and he figured you were. he figured he deserved it. for what, he didn’t know. probably for being so stupid. probably for liking you when nobody like you would ever like somebody like him.

you started, “well, i figured you’d have more to say to after you ditched everyone for two weeks. i get it. you hate me. whatever. i can live with that. but i can’t live with seeing how sad mirio and nejire are at lunch. they’re so—“

uncharacteristically, he interrupted you.

“what? y/n, i don’t hate you, i could never-“

“then why did you run away? why did you run away when mirio told you i like you?” you asked accusingly, voice cracking midway with the weight of your emotion.

your voice was far too loud for a library, but thankfully, nobody stared.

tamaki froze. for the first time, there were no thoughts racing through his head.

you two were alone right now. nobody else mattered.

he had to know, so he asked.

“y-you.. you like me?”

your shoulders drooped, your face looking back at him incredulously, though there was no malice behind your eyes. they silently begged him for a shred of tenderness.

“yes, tamaki. i like you. i have since i got here, but if that’s what’s keeping you away, please just forget about it. we want you to come back. i want you to come back. we... i miss you, tamaki.”

he didn’t know how to respond, so he didn’t.

instead, he gently set his hand on top of yours, where it lay face up on the table, pleading with him. you didn’t pull away, not even a little bit, and he noticed.

“okay,” he said, shutting his textbook. “i’ll come back.”

“you will?” your heart was the one racing now. what was he doing? was this even real? after two weeks of missing him, why was he doing this now?

softly, he said, “yes. and y/n?”

“hmm?”

“i like you too.”

i hope you enjoyed! love, tj 🖤

link to my masterlist here

#mha #mha x y/n #bnha x reader #bnha #bnha headcanons #bnha tamaki #tamaki amajiki #mha tamaki #bnha amajiki #tamaki amajiki x reader #tamaki amajiki x you #tamaki amajiki x y/n #gn reader #tamaki amajiki x gn!reader #gn!reader #My writing

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lunar-jimin · 4 years ago

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i don’t want to fall in love, if he won’t be here next year

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: best friends to lovers, fluff, wee bit of angst

Word Count: 3.9k

Rating: pg-13

Warnings: feelings, soft kookie, swearing, kissing

Summary: The universe was evil to make you spend Christmas Eve alone with your best friend who you definitely are not in love with.

A/N: This is for the lovely @namluve through @btswriterscollective Secret Santa project! Happy holidays, love! Sorry that it’s at the later end of the posting period, but I hope you enjoy!

“For fuck’s sake Jungkook, can’t you unzip your own damn pants?”

“It’s not my fault they got stuck,” he whined, back arched awkwardly as he attempted to see what he was doing, “and I can’t see it because the zipper is in the fucking back.”

You sigh. The mall had started using Santa suits with the zipper in the back after some curious kid showed off Jimin’s candy cane boxers to the entirety of the shopping center last year. Now, your unfortunate best friend had managed to get the damn thing stuck.

“Move,” you frown, taking the zipper from him. You wiggled it back and forth a couple times before it finally moved down the rest of its track.

“Oh, thank god, I thought I was gonna be stuck in these forever.”

“God, you’re so overdramatic. It’s a wonder you make it through the day without me babying you every step of the way.”

“Hey, that’s not fair. You were the one who almost burnt down the kitchen making ramen.”

You roll your eyes.

“Whatever.”

You continue to strip yourself of your itchy elf dress and the god awful red and white striped tights to match. It takes everything in you not to glance over at Jungkook who is now inevitably just in a muscle tee and tight black underwear.

So what, your best friend was one of the prettier humans to ever grace this planet? You were a grown woman. You had self-control. And you definitely didn’t want him to bend you over this sticky locker room bench and fuck you into the next century. You don’t even need to think about the fact that you were maybe, kinda, sorta, totally, irreversibly in love with him.

“So it’s just you and me tonight, huh?” his voice is less agitated, now that he’s free of his confines.

You snuck a glance and were happy to find him in matching grey sweatpants and sweatshirt. Still deadly hot, but your panties would stay dry. For now.

“Yeah, I suppose. I’m gonna miss our holiday ragers.”

Normally, you would spend Christmas Eve getting black-out drunk with your friends. This year, however, most of them were going home to their families or had started families of their own. Which left you and Jungkook alone with each other for the first time in years.

You were nervous. And you hated that. There was no reason why you should feel like throwing up at the prospect of spending an evening with your best friend. You had done this a million times, why was this time so special? Maybe it’s because you can’t remember the last time you spent more than two hours alone with him.

Ever since Jungkook started dating some girl from his animation class last year, the time the two of you spent together had decreased drastically. You couldn’t blame him, everyone around you was finding themselves in long-term relationships, excited to build a future now that college was almost over. He was just doing the same, and for a while, you thought she would be the one (a thought that left you crying in your bed for a week). You’re embarrassed to admit how pleased you were when Jungkook arrived at your doorstep four months ago, piss drunk at three in the morning to tell you she had cheated on him.

That was the last time you had spent a decent chunk of time and he was either crying or asleep for most of it. But now, here you were, following Jungkook to his beat-up Toyota Corolla, with the intent to spend the night with him. And while he hadn’t shown so much as the slightest hint that he may share your feelings, you couldn’t help but hope.

Three hours later, your nerves have been calmed by the half-a-bottle of wine you’ve downed. Your face is warm, but the spot on your thigh where his hand rests is warmer. Jungkook had convinced you to watch the Holidate despite your better judgment, and now you wanted to bleach your eyes.

“I can’t believe we watched that,” you groan into his shoulder, “I should be able to sue the production company for the two hours of my life that just got wasted.”

Jungkook lets out a buzzed giggle at your complaint, body shaking lightly next to yours.

“It was terrible,” he agreed, “but Seokjin said it was good.”

“Jin has a terrible taste in movies, and you know it.”

“True.”

He turned to look at you, little sparkles in his doe eyes as he gave you the sweetest smile. Your stomach flips.

“So, what do you want to watch?”

“I think you know the answer to that.”

“Do we really have to?”

“Don’t pretend like you don’t love Die Hard just as much as me,” you slap him playfully, “besides, you know you’re going to make me watch Love Actually after this.”

“Whatever.”

“You know it’s true, Kookie. We all know you’re a hoe for Bruce.”

“Am not.”

“If you want to live in denial, who am I to stop you.”

Despite his vehement denial of loving the movie, Jungkook quoted nearly the whole damn thing. If it weren’t for his adorable ‘yippee-ki-yay motherfucker’, you probably would’ve smacked him.

“You didn’t have to quote the entire thing,” you grumble.

“Sorry.”

He looks up at you with his doe eyes and you melt.

“It’s fine, just don’t do it with Love Actually. It’s confusing enough as it is without you talking over it.”

“I won’t, I won’t. Just admit to me you actually love the movie though.”

“I really don’t see the appeal.”

“How can you not see the appeal? It’s a cinematic masterpiece.”

“Yeah, but it’s confusing with all the different stories and I don’t understand British people at all. Also, as a single person, it’s incredibly painful.”

“How is it painful?”

“Because I want someone to fall in love with and cuddle me throughout the holidays.”

“You have me, you know?”

“You know that’s not what I mean, Kookie.”

“What do you mean?”

He’s grinning cheekily, completely aware of how uncomfortable his question makes you. You may be in love with him, but that does not stop you from thinking he’s a little shit sometimes.

“I want, you know, a partner, someone who’ll take me on dates, and kiss me, and do other things.”

“What other things?”

“Jeon Jungkook, you know what I’m talking about.”

Despite being best friends with Jungkook since the pair of you were in pull-ups, you had never felt comfortable talking about sex with him, even before you realized your feelings. You just hadn’t had a lot of experience, limited to a few boyfriends, and the subject wasn’t one you were comfortable with. Luckily, it was a topic Jungkook hadn’t brought up. Until now.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, you just want a holiday fuck buddy.”

You smack his bicep, but don’t respond. Neither does he, simply turning to the screen before him and pressing play.

You’ll never admit it to Jungkook, but you do quite enjoy the movie. Sure it was a little painful to watch a ten-year-old have a more successful love life than yourself, but the storytelling was good. By the time the credits were rolling, you were only a little embarrassed to admit there were a few tears in your eyes.

When you looked over at Jungkook, you were surprised to find a downcast face.

“Is everything alright, Kookie?”

He looks back at you and you were surprised to find tears running down his cheek.

“Oh gosh, Kook, what happened?”

He remains silent, only taking your hand in his, thumb gently rubbing over your skin. His eyes stare down at where your palms meet, and despite your best friend’s apparent distress, you can’t help but notice the warm tingles radiating from his touch. With your free hand, you reach up to brush the tears from his cheek, a pout forming on your lips.

“It’s just,” he sighs, pulling away from you and wiping his eyes, “it’s just, I want it to, you know.”

You tilt your head to the side confused.

“What are you talking about Kook?”

“What you were saying earlier, about the cuddling and dates and shit. I want it too.”

“Oh, Kookie.”

You pull him into, clasping his neck as he buries his nose in your shoulders. You want so badly to tell him that he can have it. He can have all of it and more. With you. But you know now is not the time for confessions.

He pulls his head back to look at you, a twinkle in his eyes that you can’t quite place.

“What is it Kookie?”

He looks down at this lap and then back up at you.

“I don’t want it with just anyone.”

“Well of course not, you’d want it with someone who can love and cherish you just as much as you love and cherish them.”

A dull ache in your heart was beginning to grow. He was so close to being yours, lips only inches away. But yet it seemed a mile still remained between the two of you.

“That’s not what I mean.”

You are once again sent hurling back into confusion.

“Well then what do you mean?”

“I want,” he falters, breathing unsteady like a fish out of water. He grabs your hands again, holding them tightly as if he was afraid you’d slip away. Your heart was pounding in your chest, your mind only just beginning to grasp onto what was happening. Part of you refused to believe, refused to hope, less you were wrong.

“I want you.”

His voice was soft, almost too quiet to hear, but the words were there. You felt your body tense up, shocks running up and down your spine, sirens wailing in your head. You had hoped for this moment for months, no, years, and here you were, and you were totally unsure what to do with yourself.

When you don’t respond, he pulls away and turns to face the TV.

“I’m sorry,” you see him wince in an attempt to stop the tears that are forming in his eyes, “I shouldn’t have said anything. Forget that I ever opened my mouth.”

“Kookie I…”

He turns to look at you and you can’t help yourself. His lips are just as soft as you’d dreamed about during lonely nights. He responds immediately to your kiss, mouth forming against yours as his hands come to cup your jaw softly. Soft glowing warmth radiates throughout you and you are no longer sure whether the tears you feel on your cheeks are his or yours.

You pull away and look into his eyes and at once you recognize the twinkle dancing in them.

Love. Adoration.

He didn’t need to say the words. They were already there. Unspoken. Filling the small space between his body and yours. Radiating throughout the room.

He grabs your waist and swings your body over his so that he is slotted between his thighs. Your hair falls down around you as he stares up at you, his eyes telling you everything you’d ever need to know.

“Will you be mine?”

You nod before leaning down and pecking his lips. You want more than anything in this world to be his.

“I love you, Kookie.”

His eyes go wide, body stiff beneath yours. He slowly lifts a hand up to brush the hair out of your face.

“I love you too.”

A year later, you walk back into the living room with two glasses of wine in your hands to find him down on one knee.

#bwcssy2 #bangtanhq #btswritingcafe #bangtanuniversity #bangtanarmynet #bts #jeon jungkook #jungkook #fluff #fanfic #bangtan #sonyeondan

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doyelikehaggis · 4 years ago

Note

Oh my gosh think about Lizzie being sad around the school post ep and bumping into Kaleb and they bond and he cheers her up

Hi!! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to get to this. For context, this was about episode 6! (I think...) BUT I WROTE A THING FOR IT!! I'll put it below a "read more"! Thank you for this idea, anon, I love it so much!! (I'm actually tempted to write a little more for it...) 🧡

Lizzie lets the smile slide from her face only when she hears MG close his door behind her. Each step away feels heavier and heavier, and she has no idea where she’s even going. Back to her room seems to be the only option she has left now, but she also really doesn’t want to be reminded that Josie has left her by seeing her side of the room with all of her stuff.

MG doesn’t want to spend time with her. She can’t exactly blame him; did she really just expect him to be sitting there waiting for her to finally be ready for him? Of course he said no. And Hope has a new friend. One who actually makes her smile and laugh. Lizzie honestly doesn’t think she’s ever seen her so happy before.

She takes the stairs instead, walking into the kitchen. After all, she never got her ice cream. She finds the two bowls surprisingly still there, the ice cream perfectly intact thanks to the freezing spell she placed over them. Maybe she had been hoping that MG would take her up on her offer for just a late-night talk and she could suggest ice cream, and it would be there waiting for them already.

Now she has two bowls and only one of her. With how she’s feeling, that’s probably better.

Grabbing a spoon from the drawer, she siphons the spell back off of one of the bowls and hops up on the counter. Then she digs in with a desolate sigh.

“I don’t know what’s more depressing,” a voice says from the doorway, and Lizzie looks over at Kaleb, standing there and eyeing her with pity, “the fact that you’re eating ice cream alone when there’s another bowl, or the fact that you’re doing it in the kitchen, in silence, at…” he checks his watch and raises his eyebrows, “... a quarter to midnight.”

Lizzie lowers her bowl into her lap with a shrug, swallows the lump of ice cream, and shrugs, saying bleakley, “Both. You just summed up my life, so.”

Kaleb’s eyebrows hike up higher and he sucks in air through his teeth. “Yeesh. That bad?”

He walks past her to get to the fridge, presumably for a late-night blood bag.

Lizzie scoffs and stabs her ice cream with her spoon. Then she sighs again and says, “No, it’s just… this school is a mess. We only just have enough students to even qualify as a school! We’re probably in god knows how much debt at this point, which, I kinda thought would be enough for my mom to come back and fix, you know? After all, she is headmistress, yet somehow she’s just fine letting my dad make mess after mess of this place, and—”

“And you miss Josie.”

Kaleb closes the fridge, blood-bag in hand. He sends Lizzie a small smile when she looks over at him, and she deflates, because…

“Yeah,” she breathes out as Kaleb joins her at the counter, but leans against it instead. “I really, really miss her. And I hate myself for it, because she’s probably so happy there, and this is what she wants, and she has spent years doing what I want, so… I should be able to support her on this. Shouldn’t I?”

Kaleb shrugs one shoulder. “Yeah, you should,” he says, but to her surprise he continues, “but it makes sense that you’re gonna miss her like crazy. You two have never been apart. Like… ever. So, yeah, it’s gonna suck that she’s not here, and you’re allowed to be sad about it. So long as you accept that she's gonna do it anyway."

Lizzie stares at him. She wants to be glaring — she probably would have if this was a year ago, and she’d probably throw some snarky remark at him to cover up the fact that he’s right and she’s in denial. But she can only mush her ice cream sadly because she’s not in denial anymore and nod, looking down at her lap.

“I just…” She forces out a chuckle, closing her eyes. “Ugh, and I’m doing it again!”

“Doing what?” Kaleb asks, his brow crumpling.

“Using people as my own therapists! I did it to MG for, like, two years, and now he’s pushing me away because of it. I did it to Josie our entire lives and she left. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s why my dad prefers Hope over me, or why my mom won’t even return to the freaking country! And I’m still doing it to you! Oh my god.” She waves a hand at him. “You should go before I need to start paying you. Seriously, please.”

But Kaleb laughs. Not in a cruel, ridiculing way, but in a confused and slightly exasperated way. He doesn’t leave. Instead, he sets his blood bag down on the counter.

“You’re not using me,” he tells her. “Trust me, if I didn’t want to listen, I would’ve been out of here in a second.”

Lizzie just presses her lips together and gives a doubtful hum. It’s not fair that she keeps doing this. She just starts unloading without thinking, and people stick around because they feel bad for her.

“Hey, we all need to vent sometimes,” Kaleb says, adopting a gentler tone when he realizes she doesn’t believe him. He gives her leg a little nudge with his elbow. “I got rejected today, if it’s any consolation, so I could use some free therapy time, too.”

Lizzie can’t help looking back over at him at that, but does at least try and put up a fight against her surprise. She fails. “Really? You were rejected? I mean, I understand MG rejecting me, but who the hell rejected you? Oh god, don’t tell me you tried with Alyssa again, I have had enough of that witch.”

It’s Kaleb’s turn for surprise but he does nothing to try and hide it. “Hold up. Rewind. MG rejected you? MG? My boy, MG, who spent all last summer talkin’ about you?”

“No need to rub it in,” Lizzie says bitterly, but there’s a small smile twitching the corners of her lips. “But come on. Fair’s fair. I’ll only tell you about my embarrassing rejection if you tell me yours.”

“So, you’ll show me yours if I show you mine?” Kaleb teases, cracking a grin.

Lizzie rolls her eyes even as a laugh escapes her. She flicks her wrist; a drawer across the room opens and a spoon comes zooming out into her hand, the drawer closing back over.

“Grab a spoon and take a seat, Mr. Hawkins,” she says with mock-seriousness.

He laughs and shakes his head at her like she’s crazy — but in the good way. The kind of crazy that makes people smile so much they can’t stop until their face hurts. The kind of crazy that they want to be around because it’s fun and a little contagious and feels sorta like safety in a weird way. And the thought that he could feel any of that around her makes her feel a little less of the bad kind of crazy.

Accepting the spoon from her, Kaleb hops up one of the stools, his leg brushing hers every time he moves. She doesn’t mind, just pushes the second bowl of ice cream across the counter and siphons the freezing spell off of it.

“Go ahead,” she says, waving a hand at him, before digging back into her ice cream.

“Cleo,” Kaleb says.

Lizzie’s eyebrows raise and she hums around her mouthful of ice cream. She isn’t shocked. It was pretty obvious he had a thing for her the second he offered to try and get her to enroll at the school. And it was pretty obvious by the way she looked at him that her decision to stay was not going to be because of him.

“Maybe she just needs some time,” Lizzie suggests, shrugging. “After all, she only just got here. It’s gonna take some time to get used to this place. Maybe once she gets to know you?”

“Maybe,” Kaleb agrees, though he doesn’t sound too bothered.

Lizzie frowns. “Or not? Do you not like her?”

“Nah, of course I like her,” Kaleb says, rolling his eyes, mushing his ice cream. Lizzie notices that he’s doing that thing where you make it smoother by mixing it a bit, the same way she does. “I just… it’s like you said. I don’t really know her, so it’s not… that big of a deal? She’s cute, and she’s interesting, and I could definitely catch some real feelings if she was into it, too. But at the same time, I’d rather just… get to know her.”

Nodding, Lizzie shrugs again. “That’s not a bad thing.” She pauses, narrowing her eyes jokingly. “So, technically you didn’t really get rejected. I should be taking that ice cream back.”

Kaleb pulls his bowl away from her with a look of offence. “How dare you try and take away my ice cream privileges. I am heartbroken!”

Lizzie arches an eyebrow. She just smiles and doesn’t argue as Kaleb smiles back, finally eating some of the ice cream. As soon as he does, he stops, making a face.

“What — what is this?” he asks, a note of disgust in his voice. “Is this… peanut butter?”

“It’s Netflix & Chill’d!” Lizzie says. Then, when Kaleb just continues to stare in confusion, “Ben and Jerry’s? Peanut butter, pretzels, and brownie?”

Kaleb just tilts his head and she scoffs.

“Have you never had Ben and Jerry’s before?!” she asks in disbelief.

“Yeah! But it was, like… chocolate! You know, the one with the little chocolate fish? And, uh — the cookie dough one! You know, normal flavours. Good flavours.”

Wrinkling her nose, Lizzie says, “You qualify Phish Food as a good flavour?”

Now he’s staring at her like she’s the two-heads kind of crazy. It’s still not bad, she notes quietly, and warmly. It’s actually taking a lot of her self-control not to grin.

“It’s chocolate and marshmallow!” Kaleb says. “How can you hate that?!”

“How can you hate peanut butter, pretzels, and brownies?” she counters.

“Because that is way too salty!”

“Oh, sorry, would you like a little more iron with that?”

They both pause. And then Kaleb starts laughing, and it’s like the first domino has been gently pushed as Lizzie starts laughing, too. Arguing over superior ice cream flavours at midnight is definitely better than eating them alone.

Despite his complaints, Kaleb still loads his spoon with more ice cream and eats it as if giving it another go will change his opinion. Lizzie watches him curiously. His nose wrinkles again and she presses her lips together to hold back another laugh — a giggle — because seeing him trying to act like it tastes good is actually kind of adorable.

He swallows and shakes his head. “Mhm. Nope.”

“There’s cookie dough in the freezer,” Lizzie tells him, putting him out of his misery. “It was Jo’s favourite as well, she always made Dad buy in at least two tubs in case of emergencies.”

“An ice cream emergency?” Kaleb questions.

Lizzie gestures around them, then at her own bowl.

Kaleb nods. “Enough said.” He points at the second bowl as he gets up to move over to the freezer. “What about that?”

“Considering my day, two bowls seems fair,” Lizzie tells him.

She dumps the contents of the second one into her own as Kaleb gives another chuckle. He retrieves the tub of cookie dough ice cream from the freezer and returns. When he takes a spoonful of it, his nose doesn’t wrinkle, and he gives a contented sigh and smiles, nodding to himself.

“Now that,” he points his spoon at the tub, “that is good ice cream.”

“Honestly, you have no taste,” Lizzie jokes. “In anything except fashion. That, at least, I can respect.”

“I could say the same for you,” Kaleb quips. He glances up at her from beneath his eyelashes and maybe her heart gives a little flutter as a sly smile twists across his lips.

She narrows her eyes, hiding it. Except he can hear it. But that doesn’t matter, she tells herself, because it’s nothing anyway. Probably brain freeze getting to her. Just… in her chest, instead.

“Agree to disagree,” she says.

“Fine by me.” Kaleb then nods at her expectantly. “Right. Come on. Your turn.”

Catching on, Lizzie groans. “Oh no, I can’t. It’s humiliating!”

Even as she says it, she’s laughing again as Kaleb persists, trying to pull it out of her. In the end, it actually works, and she spills the whole nightmare to him. He listens. He laughs, of course, but only when she does, and he… doesn’t leave.

Lizzie finishes both bowls of ice cream and Kaleb gets through his entire tub, then finally gets around to his blood bag as they keep talking. It’s well past midnight — maybe even past one in the morning, she can’t be sure — but neither of them even thinks about leaving. After the day they’ve had — hell, the weeks they’ve had — this was exactly what they both needed.

#oh look a wild anonymoose #ask away earthlings!#legacies #legacies 3x06 #kizzie #kaleb hawkins #lizzie saltzman #lizzie x kaleb #kaleb x lizzie #fanfiction stuff

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banshee1013 · 4 years ago

Text

Suptober Day 16 - Switch It Up

Yes, I FINALLY finished this one! This one took FOREVER and put me way behind, so I thought instead I would get all the fic writing done and then do all the art and post as I complete it - but life intervened and I got even more behind. So, I have Days 21-24 already written, Days 30 / 31 partially written; so gonna do the art for 21-24, posting it as I complete the art, then Days 30 / 31 will have to come after (Timestamps!). Regardless, as soon as it’s all done, it will be polished and posted on AO3 in it’s entirety.

So, I hope you enjoy! It’s been quite a challenge but I’ve had such a great time!

Overall Title: The Road Less Traveled

Overall Rating: Mature (may change to Explicit, we’ll see how it goes)

Tags: Castiel/Dean, mention of Sam/Eileen, Post-Season 15, ExAngel!Cas, MostlyRetiredHunter!Dean, Road Trip

(Note: all ficlets are unbeta’d. At the end of the month, I’ll wrap up whatever I manage to get written, clean it up, get it beta’d, and post to AO3. So please pardon any mistakes!)

========================================================

CHAPTER ELEVEN - SWITCH IT UP

Words: 3689 CHAPTER RATING - EXPLICIT

“Hello, spoils.”

Dean barely has time to kick off his shoes and register the door being closed behind him before he’s effortlessly spun around and pressed against it, The gasp that escapes him is definitely from the air being driven from his lungs by Cas’ body, not at all from how completely hot it is that Cas so easily manhandled him against the door.

And DEFINITELY not by that statement being growled against his ear.

That deep, rumbling voice vibrates straight to his cock; and the tone of command would have had him on his knees were it not for Cas… Castiel’s… leg placed firmly between his.

“Ah,ah, sweet boy,” Castiel purrs darkly against his neck, his hand moving from the door to grasp the back of his neck, long fingers digging into the short hair there, “can’t have you dropping to your knees here, you’ll damage my property.”

Dean’s eyes fall closed as his mouth drops open, and he most certainly DOES NOT whine.

OK, maybe a little whine. So sue him.

“Open your eyes, Dean.”

Dean’s eyes snap open, and it’s then he sees the object in Castiel’s hand.

An adorable bear-shaped bottle filled with - honey? What was he going to do with honey?

He doesn’t have time to contemplate for long, as Castiel moves back and to his side, the hand on his neck guiding him to the bed. The bottle is set on the nightstand, then Castiel reaches for a pillow, tossing it on the ground by Dean’s feet at the edge of the bed.

No words are needed - a small squeeze and gentle nudge from the hand on his neck, and Dean’s knees hit the pillow, wrists automatically clasped behind his back.

“Good boy.” Dean shudders involuntarily from the praise, as Castiel slides his hand from Dean’s neck and through his hair, petting him while gently pushing his forehead to the edge of the bed. “Rest now, and don’t move. I’ll be right back.” Reaching down into Dean’s pocket, Castiel grabs the keys to the Impala and steps away, followed by the sound of the motel room door opening and closing.

The room door opens again, and Dean first hears the dull thud of a duffle bag dropping to the floor, followed by the rustle of fabric against plastic - the garment bag with their “Fed Suits” in them - moving past him. Castiel’s footsteps retreating in the direction of the closet. The closet door squeaks open, the garment bag’s hanger clinks on the hanger rod, the door squeaking closed again; then Castiel is behind him, fingers running through his hair and around to brush his cheek. Dean leans into the touch, barely breathing.

“So good for me.”

Castiel turns, and then the bed by Dean’s head sinks slightly as he sits by him. Castiel’s hand moves to Dean’s other cheek, rising to card idly through his hair. His hand slides around to Dean’s chin, lifting it so that he’s looking directly into Castiel’s eyes.

“Here is the game I would like to play, Dean. I purchased the bottle of honey at the winery, thinking it would be good for toast or with peanut butter sandwiches, but when I won your game, I had a much better idea for it.”

His lips turn up into a feral grin, and butterflies take flight in Dean’s stomach.

“I would like to see how it tastes on you, first.”

Ok, yes, that was definitely a whine this time. Dean is far too excited at the prospect to care, and his dick is fully on board.

“Will you indulge me, sweet boy?” Dean’s head does its best impression of a bobblehead doll, and he’s rewarded with Castiel’s face lighting up like a kid at Christmas.

Standing, Castiel presses a hand gently on the back of his head, a clear indication that he’s to return to leaning against the bed; and he does so, closing his eyes and focusing his hearing on Castiel’s movements.

He hears a cabinet being opened, water poured into a container and then set into the microwave. Footsteps disappear into the bathroom as the microwave hums, then return as the microwave dings. Castiel pops the microwave door open and removes the dish, and then he’s back beside Dean again, setting the dish on the nightstand.

Dean opens his eyes and steals a glance - the bear-bottle of honey is sitting in a bowl, presumably the one filled with water and microwaved. A washcloth lies folded next to it.

Castiel glances down and catches Dean looking; and Dean flinches but Castiel only smiles.

“I believe it will be a more enjoyable experience for you if the honey were warmed first.”

Oh hell yes.

Castiel turns to Dean, carefully pulling him to his feet, Dean thankful because his feet had started to tingle despite the pillow. Castiel then begins to undress him, slowly, like he’s unwrapping a present; gently pushing Dean’s hands away when he tries to help. The flannel overshirt slides from his shoulders and is draped over a nearby chair, followed by his favorite Led Zeppelin t-shirt. Castiel runs his fingers lightly down Dean’s chest toward the waistband of his jeans, goosebumps popping along his skin in their wake; then unhooks his belt and pulls it free from the belt loops with a crack, sending a shiver through Dean’s body. The belt joins the shirts and Castiel’s hand returns to cup the very distinct bulge in the front of Dean’s jeans, pulling a desperate moan from Dean.

“So eager,” Castiel breathes against his lips and gives Dean’s cock a squeeze, his smile growing wider at the gasp it produced. Releasing it, he pops the button and slowly, tauntingly slides the zipper down. Both hands now at the waistband, Castiel begins to pull the jeans and boxers down, sinking to the floor with them, his breath hot against Dean’s skin as his lips kiss and suck a path down his body.

Castiel is on his knees in front of Dean, his lips a hair's-breadth from his now rock-hard cock, his breath hot against it but not touching; and Dean feels like he’s going to vibrate out of his skin. He actually jumps when Castiel reaches for his hand and places it on his shoulder for leverage, tapping the inside of his calf to get him to raise his leg to slide the jeans, boxers, and sock off his foot. Castiel repeats the motion on the other side, then rises to his feet, his eyes devouring Dean.

“So beautiful,” Castiel breathes, and Dean feels a wave of heat flush over him at the look of raw adoration and lust he sees on Castiel’s face.

Dean realizes that while he is completely naked, flushed and hard with arousal, Castiel is still fully clothed; and this really needs to change.

But this is Castiel’s game, not his. He lost fair and square - well, sorta, since he kinda cheated a couple times - and he was honor-bound to play along.

Lost in this train of thought, he’s startled by Castiel suddenly being right in his space, hands on his bare hips and pushing him gently back towards the foot of the bed. His knees hit the edge and he loses his balance, sitting hard on the bed. Castiel places a warm hand flat on his chest and presses him down the rest of the way, his back on the bed, feet still on the floor.

Castiel scans the bed above Dean’s head and huffs in annoyance.

“How unfortunate,” he grumbles. “The headboard is flat and flush against the wall. No anchor points.” Moving to the front of the bed, Dean twists to watch him as he removes all but one pillow, placing them onto the nearby chair. The remaining one he places about a foot from the headboard, then motions for Dean to move closer, patting the pillow.

Dean scoots up to the top of the bed and lays his head next to Castiel’s hand on the pillow.

The hand moves from the pillow to stroke Dean’s cheek, then trails fingers lightly down his neck and across his chest, pausing to sharply tweak a nipple before continuing down his body. Dean squawks in surprise, then hisses as Castiel switches from light fingertips to nails down his stomach towards his painfully hard, leaking cock. He stops just before reaching the head, swirling a finger in the small pool of precome there and lifting it to his mouth to suck it off his finger; eyes sliding shut and humming as if tasting the finest ambrosia.

Dean forgets to breathe and his dick dribbles even more.

Removing his finger from his mouth with a pop, Castiel continues, his fingernails running down Dean’s leg, then clamps a hand around his ankle. “Stay”.

Dean swallows and nods his compliance, the idea of doing anything else never even entering his head.

Castiel gives him an indulgent smile, then turns and heads to the closet. Opening the doors, he unzips the garment bag, revealing the beige trench coat draped over his standard navy blue suit and white shirt. Reaching into the pockets of the trench coat, he pulls out his coiled belt and blue tie before zipping the garment bag back up and closing the closet doors.

He approaches the side of the bed and sits facing Dean, holding out his hands to show him the belt and tie.

“I was going to offer you the option of holding on to the headboard if you did not wish me to bind you to it, but as you can see, there are no handholds.” Dean nods, and Castiel continues. “What I would like to do in lieu of that is to bind you with belt handcuffs.” Setting the tie down, he loops the belt through the buckle to form a loop, then back through the buckle again to form the second loop. “Your wrists will be bound in the loops, and can be tightened by pulling on the end of the belt, here,” he demonstrates, slipping the belt on his own hands, and Dean nods again. “You will have full control of the tension by holding the end of the belt in your opposite hand, as such.” He pulls on the end of the belt, and the cuffs tighten around his wrists. “To release the tension, release the end of the belt.” He demonstrates this as well, then looks up at Dean.

“Do I have your consent to bind you, Dean? You can of course say no.”

Dean nods, but Castiel shakes his head. “I need verbal consent, Dean.”

After not having spoken since entering the room, Dean struggles to find his voice but manages to croak out, “Hell yes.”

Castiel’s smile is as bright as the sun. “Thank you, Dean.” He slips the bet cuffs over Dean’s hands, placing the belt end into his hand, then raises Dean’s bound hands above his head and pressing them down onto the bed.

“Stay.”

Dean nods, pulls the belt end tight and revels in the rush.

“Not too tight. Release the belt end if your hands start to tingle.” Dean nods once more - then drops a pointed look towards the tie by his hip.

Cas picks up the tie, unrolling it and running it through his fingers. “And this… if you’re agreeable, I would like to blindfold you with it.” He quirks an eyebrow.

Dean swallows, hard, and nods vigorously.

“Verbal consent, Dean.”

“Y...yes,” he stammers, and is rewarded with another blinding smile.

“So, so good for me.”

He leans over and lays the tie over his eyes, the blue silk cool against his flushed face.

The tie he gave Cas after he returned from Purgatory the first time.

Castiel slides the ends of the tie around his head, wrapping it around and tucking the ends in tightly. “Is that too tight?” Castiel breathes into his ear.

“N-no, Castiel.”

Dean can no longer see, but he can feel Castiel’s lips curve up against his cheek, just before his lips brush the shell of his ear, moving across his jaw and settling over his own. Castiel kisses him, chaste and light at first, quickly dissolving to wet and hot. Dean moans into the kiss, whining and chasing after him when Castiel breaks the kiss and moves away.

Castiel lays a hand on his forehead and gently pushes him back down, fingers trailing down over his cheek,the mattress lifting slightly as Castiel rises. The rustle of fabric, the slight thud of his jeans hitting the floor tells Dean that Castiel is finally getting naked, and silently curses the unfairness of not getting to watch it happen.

Suddenly the bed shifts around him, followed by the warm, bare skin of Castiel’s thighs pressing on either side of his hips. He gasps as a shiver of anticipation shudders through him from the contact; and then the bed dips on either side of his head.

“Are you alright, Dean? What’s your color?” Cas’ lips brushing against his ear send a fresh set of shivers down his spine.

“‘M fine. Green, so fucking green.”

Cas’ dark chuckle vibrates against his ear, and the next moment Castiel’s lips are on his again, tongue insistently pressing past them and Dean sucks it in eagerly. His hands twitch in the bonds above his head, the skin where Castiel’s body presses against his tingles and burns.

Then Castiel’s lips are gone, replaced by spreading warmth across his thighs - he’s leaned back, his perfect bare ass now resting on Dean’s thighs, the hands that were on either side of his head lightly brushing down his chest, stopping to tweak his nipples again before skating down his belly, and then gone; Dean jerking and whining from the contact and the loss. The weight on his thighs shifts, becoming lighter on one side and heavier on the other, the mattress creaking softly as Cas leans in the direction of the nightstand. He hears a clink and the slight sloshing of water, the sound loud in the darkness. The weight on his thighs shifts again as Castiel centers himself over Dean.

“Color, my sweet boy?” Cas asks; his voice, dark and deep, drifts towards him as if from far away.

“Green,” Dean breathes.

Seconds later, he yelps in surprise as a pinprick of liquid heat pools in the center of his chest and dribbles in a line down to his stomach, the honey hot but not burning, the warmth expanding as it spreads out against his skin. The weight on his thighs shifts again as Castiel leans forward; then the warm, wet pressure of Castiel’s tongue, pressed flat against Dean’s stomach, slowly slides up his body. As his tongue follows the trail of honey, Castiel’s body shifts against his and Dean breathes out a shaky moan when the hard line of Castiel’s cock slots next to his, just as his tongue laps up the last of the honey from his chest. Castiel doesn’t stop there, his tongue continuing up Dean’s neck and into his mouth, the sweet taste of the honey bursting on his taste buds as he sucks it from Castiel’s tongue, swallowing his groan as Dean ruts against him.

Castiel breaks the kiss and rises back up, pushing Dean gently back down when he tries to chase.

“Patience, Dean. I’m not finished with my taste test yet.”

Dean jerks as the pinpoint of heat returns, this time on his left nipple. Castiel spreads the honey over the nipple with his fingers, pinching and rolling it to a stiff, sticky peak, then swirling the tip of his tongue around it before sucking it into his mouth. Dean cries and bucks underneath him, but a firm hand pressed on his hip stills him. The right nipple gets the same treatment, hot honey followed by the wet heat of Castiel’s mouth.

Dean gasps and moans, his hands pulling against the belt restraints as he tries to remain still against the onslaught of Castiel’s tongue. He could just as easily let the belt end slip from his fingers and free himself, but he desperately wants to be good, wants to be Castiel’s good boy. He pulls the belt tighter, and feels himself begin to float.

The weight and warmth settles back onto his thighs as Castiel sits back up, and Dean can feel Castiel’s eyes on him, feels the weight of his gaze panning down his body, hears his ragged breath.

“So, so beautiful.” Cas’ voice, reverent and resonating, sends shivers chasing down Dean’s spine.

“Color, my sweet, beautiful boy?”

“G-green,” Dean whimpers.

“So very good for me,” Cas says softly, a hitch in his voice.

The weight moves off him completely then, reappearing further down, thighs now pressing against Dean’s knees, and he gives a high raspy cry when the warmth of the honey trickles down the length of his cock, dribbling down over his balls to his perineum. Cas wastes no time, his tongue briefly circling Dean’s rim before sliding up and sucking his balls into his mouth. Dean keens and writhes, his hands twisting in the restraints until Castiel’s hand returns to his hip, fingers squeezing into the flesh, and he stills again, panting and whining. Castiel flattens his tongue against the base of his cock and paints a wide swath up his length, licking up the honey until he reaches the head. Dean feels the precome dribbling down onto his stomach and Castiel’s tongue lap up, then keens again as Castiel takes in his cock all the way down to the root.

“Ahhhh... fuck… Cassss…” he babbles as Castiel slides up and then back down, starting up a steady rhythm.

Just as Dean begins to feel the pressure build, Castiel pulls off, the warmth of his body is gone completely, and Dean whimpers as he floats alone in the dark.

He hears the soft tread of Castiel’s feet moving to the door, the zipper of the duffle bag he had dropped there. Then the mattress dipping as Castiel returns,the distinctive snick of a lube bottle cap; and eagerly waits for the feel of lubed fingers against his rim, opening him up… but it doesn’t come.

Instead, he hears uneven breaths next to him, little whimpers and sighs, the slick sound of lube against skin.

Dean’s head buzzes as his heart begins to pound, a fresh pool of precome dribbling from his very eager cock.

Cas is opening himself up, and this can only mean one thing.

It’s not like they don’t ever switch it up… but it’s a pretty rare thing since Dean loves bottoming and Cas definitely loves topping.

“C-Cas?”

The bed shifts again and then Cas is straddling him, lubed fingers grasping his aching cock and slicking him up.

“I thought I might give you a special treat for indulging me so,” Cas says, his voice low and rough. “Would you like me to ride you, my love?”

Dean almost comes right then and there.

“Fuck… yes, Cas, YES.”

No sooner than the words were out of his mouth, Dean feels Cas line up and slide down onto his cock, slowly, letting him feel every inch.

“Ahhhhhh ffffuuuck Caaassss... “ Dean moans, the heat of Cas’ body surrounding him, the sensation almost overwhelming, but so, so incredibly good.

Cas slowly rises and falls again, then begins to pick up the pace. A few more strokes and Dean feels Cas’ chest against his, Cas’ cock hard and hot against his stomach, Cas’ lips claiming his, tongue licking into his mouth. Cas’ hands move to grasp Dean’s, threading their fingers together around the restraints, using them as leverage to shove himself back onto Dean’s cock.

Dean feels claimed, possessed, in every way possible; heart and soul floating, surrounded and consumed by the heat of Cas’ body.

Instinct and need takes over, his hips thrusting up to match Cas’ rhythm; the pressure coiling in his abdomen winding tighter and tighter.

The coil snaps, and with a high, thready cry, Dean comes, filling Cas up.

Cas continues to move, whimpering and moaning against Dean’s neck; then with a deep, rumbling groan he follows Dean over the edge, come spurting hot and wet between them. His arms give out and he collapses down completely onto Dean, breathing hard and ragged.

Dean lay still, floating, feeling Cas’ body all around him; their breaths and heartbeats merging, aligning, and finally slowing. Finally, Cas rises and Dean whimpers, missing his heat.

A finger traces through the combination of come and honey on his chest, then the finger is pressed against his lips and he sucks it in; bitter salt and bright sweetness exploding in his mouth.

Cas slides off him and Dean feels bereft, unanchored, but not for long; the tinkling sound of dribbling water followed by the mattress again sinking next to him; a cool cloth running over his flushed skin, cleansing and soothing. Cas washes him down completely, then hears the cloth running over Cas’ body followed by the dim plop of the washcloth returning to the bowl; the click of the lamp switch and then Cas’ warmth pressed against his side, grounding and anchoring him again.

Gentle fingers pry at his hand clenched around the belt end, loosening his grip on it to remove the belt restraint and drop it to the floor; lowering his arms to his chest to massaging his wrists and fingers.

Cas’ lips brush lightly against Dean’s as he lifts the tie blindfold from his eyes. Dean squeezes his eyes shut as the cloth is removed, but the room is now lit only by the lights from the parking lot filtering in through the window. He opens his eyes and stares straight into endless blue, the sparse light catching in Cas’ eyes.

“How are you, my love? Is there anything you need? A drink, something to eat...”

Dean reaches for him, his arms heavy and slow but still able to grab Cas by the waist and pull him down next to him, twining arms and legs around him, burying his face in Cas neck.

He sighs contentedly.

“Just you, babe. Just you.”

#suptober20 #Destiel #art #fic

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janus-stanus · 4 years ago

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Do you have any Janus headcanons that you want to share?? I seriously love reading peoples' headcanon

You want Janus headcanons? I’ll give you Janus headcanons. All the headcanons.

* Janus came into existence as a Side later than the others, and he wasn’t initially Deceit. More on that here and here (though I have some changes in mind for when I actually write something out of it, hehe)

* He became in charge of keeping Remus out of school things kind of by default, and from there, they bonded.

* He got into spats with Patton often, which he took way more seriously than Patton ever did. Usually everyone else sided with Patton, cause they knew and trust him. Especially Roman.

* Janus learned to fake confidence fairly early on. He figured, he had to convince himself that he knew what he was doing before the others would take him seriously. You know. “I am the first one I deceive”. That. Oh, and “Razzle Dazzle”.

* He’s planted “roots” in Thomas’s mental system, like a network of cables that can transfer information to him almost instantly. He has clusters of roots form around secrets he (or the others) is (are) keeping from Thomas. For the aesthetic, his eyes glow gold when he checks in to it, and the information rings in his ears like hissing.

* As a kid he wore a yellow shirt, with a waistcoat over it to make himself appear more professional. As a teen, he wore a long black coat, a fedora, and a striped yellow scarf. There’s more I want to say about the scarf, but, spoilers.

* ...That being said, I will spoil this from the wip where the sides all find their names: Logan helped Janus find his (ever notice that we didn’t see Logan’s reaction to Janus’s name reveal in POF? I’m running with it). He liked the name, it felt right... but it, at this point, didn’t really tell him anymore about what his purpose was supposed to be.

* It stops being a sore spot for him at a certain point, but then by the time of POF, where his failures have definitely not been getting to him, it kinda sorta is again! Hence, his... reaction, to Roman’s... reaction.

* (Also, it’s just his instinct by this point to be snide and pointedly cruel when he’s hurt or backed into a corner. He knows how to go for the jugular, and sometimes he doesn’t realize - or doesn’t care - just how deep his blows will cut.)

* Since I mentioned Jan originally not being Deceit... here’s a song that basically lays out why he came to take on that role :) (spotify recced this to me a few days ago and I’m still not over it)

* It was only once Janus became Deceit that he started gaining his snake features. First fangs; then the changes to his left eye; then his scales. Right before the other sides found out about the gay, the scales covered his whole face, and probably went below his shoulders too. It was bad. By teen times they’ve receded to mostly one side of his face, but they’re still on his neck for a few years (hence the scarf).

* Jump ahead to Thomas in early high school, and Janus, for reasons that would be Big Time Spoilers (though I may be able to... share some excerpts... if people want...), chose to cut himself and Remus off from Thomas. He keeps their existence a secret, having them only influence Thomas subconsciously, until, well, the series basically. (Virgil joined the “others” shortly after the divide, of his own choice, and thus wasn’t hidden from Thomas like the rest of them were.)

* For all those years, Janus whispered comforting lies to Thomas. Lies that stopped working after he revealed himself in CLBG, because Thomas now recognized that voice as belonging to his deceitful side. I have a wip about this that I’m planning to finish and post for his birthday!

* Janus helped Thomas believe that he was an honest person. A good person, even. Because, that’s what Thomas wanted, as evidenced by the Big Time Spoilers. Even as Janus recognized the long term impacts of the lie. Even as he himself thought the whole moral dilemma was a distraction at best.

* The more Janus dedicated himself to becoming Deceit, the more he came to rely on lies, which is a large part of why his and Virgil’s relationship collapsed. All their conversations became like, to borrow an old metaphor of mine, fencing duels, with Janus always trying to assert his control and distract from his intentions with witty remarks, and Virgil always assuming the worst of him, rapidly switching between offense and defense.

* Janus and Remus’s relationship was, and is, much less hostile. Yes, Remus gets on his nerves, literally every day... but, unlike the others when it comes to Jan, “trust” isn’t a hurdle for Remus. They’re partners in crime; they’re best friends. And that’s enough. It has to be.

* I don’t really have a better place for the following diatribe, so here we go:

Ever since the Big Time Spoilers thing, Janus has done what he can to eliminate and prevent any feelings of regret for the bad things he does. He justifies to himself that it was the best choice he could have made, that it was a necessary evil; or, he convinces himself that what he said or did wasn’t that bad, the blame is on the everyone else for reacting the way they did; or, he simply goes “oopsie, my bad, definitely won’t repeat that mistake” and does everything he can not to think about it again. To quote the song “Devil in the Details” from his playlist again, “I put my past into the ground”.

Speaking of songs, there’s this line from the song “Never Love an Anchor” by The Crane Wives, one of my favorite bands incidentally:

It's a secret I keep tucked inside my chest With this heart of mine that’s guilty not remorseful

Janus will readily admit to being guilty of having made bad decisions, decisions that hurt people (though in the moment he will be unreasonably stubborn about admitting he’s doing something wrong/stupid, to self defeating ends).

But remorseful? No, he’s never remorseful. At least, he’d like to believe he isn’t (because that would just make things so much more complicated).

And when so much of your own conception of yourself is based on lies you’ve told, to feel more confident, to feel like you belong, like you’re doing what you should be doing...

Is there really a difference?

I have No way Of telling The two Apart

Oh hey, “Devil in the Details”, what are you doing here again? It’s almost like I draw half of my entire Janus characterization from you alone /hj

* (This is a deliberate contradictory parallel to Virgil, who seems to keep a full record of every mistake Thomas has made (see ATDH). Anxiety constantly digs up your past mistakes, theoretically to make sure you don’t repeat them. What Thomas needs, as with every dilemma in this series, is a healthy balance between their two perspectives.)

* The last of the pre-canon headcanons I have is this. TL;DR, Janus helps Roman out when Thomas plays villianous roles (their cooperation could perhaps explain why Roman initially described Janus as “very nice”)

* Janus’s plan for CLBG was not to get caught; he was hoping to convince Thomas of his various merits over the course of multiple discussions, before properly revealing himself.

* When PattonJanus asks, “Virgil, it’s me. Aren’t we friends?” That’s like 10% him still trying to keep up the facade, but 90% him asking genuinely. And the fact that Virgil can’t even look at him when he answers implies that he has some doubt too... because it still might be Patton and he doesn’t want to hurt him? Or because, he knows it’s Janus, but his feelings are just that complicated?

* In between CLBG and SvS, Janus realizes the thing I pointed out earlier about his subconscious lies suddenly working not nearly as well on Thomas - specifically, the whole “good person” thing, since it’s currently causing him a lot of stress. Instead of dwelling on the fact that this has kind of undone years and years of work on his end, Janus goes, “You know what? I never believed that bullshit mattered anyway! I should convince Thomas that it doesn’t matter either; it’ll be much better for him in the long term.” And then the wedding vs callback dilemma presents the perfect opportunity. Hence, SvS, parts 1 and 2.

* Janus can read the other sides like open books... but only if they’re acting within the narrow perspective of what Janus would expect from them. The biggest example is with Roman in SvS. Janus knows that Roman wants to go to the callback more than anything. He’s Thomas’s Hopes and Dreams, for Pete’s sake! But what he doesn’t expect, is the extent to which Roman priorities Thomas being good (or believing himself to be good), even at the expense of his actual role as a side. That’s why Roman’s sentencing of Thomas throws him so badly; it’s when he realizes just how much Patton’s unopposed influence has affected Thomas (not that Patton ever meant it that way).

* My thoughts on Janus’s motivations for setting Remus loose in DWIT and his feelings on the matter afterward are covered in this fic (which you’ve commented on, but you know the hustle, gotta self promo where I can)

* So. Putting Others First. I don’t have much to add on top of the wonderful canon content it gave us. But.

“Sometimes I don't know the way. But... When I told you that, you were so scared. I couldn't bear it. So I said to myself, ‘Alright, Patton. Thomas needs you. You're responsible for his morality. You can never not have an answer for him.’

After Patton says this, the cut to Janus?

The Thing his face does after the eyebrow raise?

I live for this shit.

A while ago, my headcanon for this moment was that it was when Janus realized that Thomas wanted to be a good person, as much and as genuinely as he wanted anything else (like, being famous and fulfilling his dreams), and that, as the one who wants what Thomas wants, it’s a drive he should take into consideration. But then I rewatched CLBG, and was struck by this exchange:

[Thomas]: Why didn't I know about him until now? [Virgil]: He had you convinced you're an honest person. [Thomas]: But I... AM an honest person. [Deceit]: Oh, you are, Thomas. You are a good person. Everybody says so.

This is where some fo the earlier stuff about Janus playing into Thomas’s belief that he was a good person came from, and it required a changing of my interpretation of That Look in POF. So now? I take it as the moment Janus realizes that, when he revealed himself like a Scooby Doo villain, the effect wasn’t just that he could no longer use his comforting lies on Thomas. It put the whole responsibility of Thomas believing he’s good, something obviously very important to him, onto Patton, a side he could trust. And Janus knows what kind of toll that burden must have taken on him.

* I have plans now for a Janus & Patton fic set after the Janus & Logan one that’s been in limbo since the summer which will delve more into Janus’s vulnerabilities, going back to the whole idea of him being guilty but not feeling remorseful.

To not give away too much... Like how Logan insists he doesn’t feel things because he’s Logic, because it would get in the way of his function, Janus insists that he doesn’t have any interest in his own morality or how he’s perceived by the other sides, because it would get in the way of his ability to do what’s best for Thomas. He needs to be able to push Thomas to act in his own self-interest in all scenarios, and otherwise manipulate things behind the scenes, even when it requires being immoral. So he, Janus, can’t care about being a good person.

But Janus is a part of Thomas. And he won’t get away with hiding from the implications of that for much longer.

He’ll have to face the mortifying ordeal of being known, and of feeling remorse.

Will this be his arc in canon? Who knows; I’m just having fun :)

...Those last two got kinda long. Sorry about that, lol. Let’s knock some final few ones out.

* Moving on, in FWSA, both Patton and Janus were watching the proceedings, with Janus contributing when called on (something he’s not used to, especially at that frequency). This leads to this post.

* Janus wants to have control, influence, some modicum of power, in any scenario he’s in. He does not like leaving things up to other people. He’s learned he can’t predict Remus and has mostly come to live with that, and he’ll ultimately bow to Thomas’s judgement if it conflicts with his own, but they are the only exceptions.

* This post.

* I don’t think about human AUs much, but, if you’ll allow me some projection: human Janus who’s nonbinary with eczema.

* An UnderTale related thought I posted months ago: A human Janus in that world would be a Determination (Red) soul, who has at times attempted and spectacularly failed at being a Patience soul. Put another way, the boy tries to plan and wait things out, but... you know.

* Lastly, he’s an enneagram type eight. Enjoy the song, and thanks for asking about my thoughts!

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #janus sanders #we have fun here #writing reference

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dannyphannypack · 5 years ago

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Crossover Fic Recs

Hey, saw your post for some fic recs! Unfortunately I can't continue the wonderful thread of reblogs because I wish to remain anonymous, but here have some cool crossovers that I didn't see get rec'd yet :D (you can either post this or add it to the reblogs, I don't mind either way)

Just Another Meteor Freak [500k words, complete] (and it's sequel, which is unfortunately incomplete) is a Smallville/DP crossover that's absolutely a fantastic read and I cannot recommend it enough, it's one of my faves! Brief synopsis: Danny goes to live with his aunt Martha Kent after his family dies (and for once Danny's family dying in a crossover fic doesn't have anything to do with TUE!), and misunderstandings of the good kind and mishaps ensue because of course Danny and Clark's hero complexes come into play. It's got hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, sibling-esque-bonding, and all sorts of cool stuff, including ghost king headcannons and new powers for Danny. It takes place mostly from a Smallville perspective, but Danny's woven in so seamlessly that you won't believe he wasn't in the original show to begin with. I read it for the first time after having not watched Smallville in years and I could still understand it though, so I think that if you haven't watched Smallville before you could still enjoy the fic a lot!

And like, honestly, I totally recommend other stuff by this author (jadedbluerose) too. She's got a Merlin/DP crossover that's pretty fantastic, but unfortunately she hasn't updated anything since 2014 :( still worth the read though!!

Spirited Away [70k, complete] is a Harry Potter/DP crossover, it's honestly THE MOST hilarious fic I've ever read. Synopsis: Danny is an unwilling student at Hogwarts, and the most chaotic Hufflepuff the world has ever seen. He claims he's been kidnapped but when no one listens to him, he raises all kinds of hell to try and get kicked out. And if that doesn't work, well, he can always sue them. 100% worth the read, it will definitely make you laugh.

Various Superphantom (Supernatural/DP) crossovers by sapphireswimming. Literally anything Superphantom found here? Totally the best. You can also check out Superphantom fics by surelysilly (whose fics are more on the darker end of the spectrum, and their prose style is kinda abstract rather than your traditional linear narrative) Vitaliciouscreations (they've got a oneshot collection that's pretty fun, as well as a oneshot that I wish they'd continue and a complete cute 13k-word penpal fic.)

How to befriend a ghost [80k, incomplete] is a HTTYD/DP crossover in which Danny gets stuck in the Viking era, and I originally started reading this for the Danny & Hiccup friendship because it's adorable and both of them see how similar they are to each other and find kinship in that. The dragon Danny gets (because this is a HTTYD crossover, this is inevitable!) really sneaks into your heart though, and I ABSOLUTELY adore Sparky as much as I adore Toothless. He's very lovable and complements Danny super well! Of course, it's not all friendship bonding and training dragons, the archipelago is Danny's home now (until he can find his way back to Amity Park/his own century) and he's going to protect it too when trouble arises, just like the dragons do. He even gets new powers along the way. This fic is pretty fun, there's a lot of switching perspectives and you really see the characters' voices come through in it, and you even get to see the dragons' POV, which is really interesting since you get to learn Sparky's backstory!

Den Mother [8k, ongoing] is a Young Justice/DP crossover that acknowledges the fact that Danny is by all rights a first-generation hero, and he's treated with the respect as such and gets to join the Justice League rather than the YJ team. Of course, he doesn't WANT to join the league at first, which is a different take than you'd expect, but he reluctantly agrees and is then given the same responsibilities as a Justice League member--that is, to teach the YJ something about teamwork or whatever. It's not very long right now, but the premise is so good! It has a lot of potential.

A Foreign Perspective [200k words, complete] is a DNAngel/DP crossover that I saw @scrollingdown call a fandom classic once and honestly agree, even though I don't think many people know/have read it. It's a cute friendship fic that focuses on Phantom (not Danny, but Phantom specifically) making his first friend, an older boy named Daisuke, who seems normal at first, but is slowly revealed to be a little more understanding of Danny's situation than he appears. Some comfort involved too since Danny deals with a little more with the idea of mourning/loss than in canon, seeing as Daisuke thinks he's a full ghost and therefore a teenager that died, and Danny learns to be a different kind of hero because of it. Really cool fic too since you don't need to know DNAngel at all to understand the fic, since it's told from DP's perspective, and you get to learn about Daisuke as Danny does. It's just super sweet and it's got some action here and there that makes it exciting, and it's really a fun read.

Other stuff by this author is worth the read too! They've got oneshots of a HP crossover and Ghost Whisperer crossover, and a sadly incomplete HTTYD crossover [100k words] that is still super super good and also deals with ideas about mourning and loss. Their non-crossover stuff is also pretty interesting (there's a Mute!Danny AU and Dash kinda-redemption oneshot I really liked).

Diversity [150k, ongoing] is another Ghost Whisperer/DP crossover, it's a found-family fic where Danny runs away from home after his family dies in the events post TUE. He ends up running into Melinda and she goes out of her way to help him. There's a couple underlying mysteries surrounding the ghosts that haunt this fic, and Melinda tries to understand Danny's past and ends up tangled in a conspiracy because Danny's hiding his ghostly alter-ego and also the GIW are involved at some point (and they are much more menacing here than in canon). It's totally a page-turner, and you can get as invested as Melinda in hoping Danny heals from his loss. Spellbound [150k, ongoing] is a HP/DP crossover by the same author! Danny accidentally gets trapped by Magical Britain and is bitter about it, but he's trying to make the best of it. The Wizards have no idea what to make of him, but he just wants to go home, and he makes a couple friends while he plots his escape. (It's actually been a while since I read that one, so I'm a bit fuzzy on the details, but I do remember feeling bad for Danny in this fic, poor boy's lonely and can't even interact with kids his own age because he's an unknown creature to the wizards. Good thing Danny's never been one to follow authority.)

A Visit to Paris [10k, complete] is a Miraculous Ladybug/DP crossover in which Danny is Akumatized... sort of. The results are hilarious: Danny's a troll, Hawkmoth is frustrated, the heroes aren't really sure what to make of it, and Danny and Adrien make a lot of puns. Oh, and Danny is the only one smart enough to fix Paris' villain problem (okay, so it might be slightly cracky). It reminds me very much of Spirited Away, which I mentioned earlier. It's got the same level of chaos that's for sure. All in all, it's a very, very fun read.

A Different Sort of House Call [50k, incomplete] is a House MD/DP crossover, it's been years since I read it but I've always considered it one of the fandom classics too? It was definitely one of the first things to pop to mind when I was trying to recall all the cool memorable crossovers to rec you, so this goes on the list too. It's Danny at the hospital with House, and the doctors are trying to diagnose him without knowing about his ghost half (and Danny's not exactly willing to tell them either). There's angst (especially since the author wrote this to follow Lab Rat by AnneriaWings), Vlad trying to be an ally (sorta?), and House being clever as usual. Sadly it's incomplete but it's still super good!!

Running Blind [20k, complete] is a CSI/DP crossover (it took me forever to find the link again since it wasn't listed as a crossover). It's super good, Danny runs away for reasons unknown (at the beginning of course) and gets caught up in a murder investigation and he suspects the culprit is supernatural so obviously he helps out. The CSI guys are both trying to protect him (thinking he was a target for the murderer) but also trying to uncover his past and the reasons he ran away. When you find out why he ran away, you might be awed like I was (especially when you realize how long it had been since he ran) or you might be unimpressed, but the aftermath and his family/friends finally catching up to him might make up for that. I kinda liked how Vlad was written here too.

Ghost Crimes and its sequels is a Criminal Minds/DP crossover. It's the first in a very long series (currently 500k+ words in total) that expands on the DP world and lore, and also involves a lot more murder, death, blood (and the other related gore-ish stuff), and overall realism. Like, Danny fights what is basically Jack the Ripper and its terrifying. It's kind of like a "dark and gritty" DP (but like, not unbearably or overwhelmingly dark and gritty), angst sprinkled here and there, along with darker themes and less light-hearted issues (mental health/trauma/depression/etc. and neglect/abuse and like, actual competent adults like social workers and stuff are a real thing in this fic). There's a lot going on but it's got its lighter nice moments too (Dani is there and gets to be a part of Danny's family, Val's in on the secret, among other things). Also some of the chapters are illustrated, it's great. Definitely check it out!

Okay that's a lot of fics so I'm gonna stop now. Have fun reading!!

#danny phantom #phanfic #crossover #submission #THIS IS SO GOOD !#THANK YOU OMG !

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charmspoint · 4 years ago

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Author Interview

Saw this on @prince-liest and did it cuz i needed a pick me up today, they said to tag them so there ya go I hope it’s interesting <3

Fandoms: Very much mostly BNHA, though I’m getting back in Bungou Stray Dogs and already have fics I wanna write there too. Other fandoms I dabbled in: Promised Neverland, Promare n Forest of Drizzling rain

Where I post: on AO3 at CharmPoint! ….don’t be…don’t be fooled by my tumblr name I’m just sacrificing a brand for a bad joke

Most popular one shot: The crown goes to Far too young, I think this one was just in the right time and place while Promised Neverland high was at it’s peak. It’s the only one shot I have that broke 100 kudos so I’m p proud of it.

Most popular multichapter fic: ….it’s…it’s Ignite me, god I wish it wasn’t but it is. I’m not gonna link it cuz I honestly don’t want ppl to read more of it. Like there’s nothing especially bad about it….aside from the writing. The writing is just down right awful, I wrote this two years ago with a coauthor (hi Tati) and it went on a hiatus and then I went to reread it to remind myself how to continue and aaaaa I couldn’t get through chapter 3 it was SO BAD. The reason is that we adapted it from a rp and…we did so pretty badly. I really don’t like it but I don’t wanna delete it cuz 1. It’s not only mine 2. A lot of people seemed to really really like it…somehow, they are so strong. My ultimate mission is to one day rewrite this fic and make a good Ignite me, one day…

Favorite story written so far: That would definitely be Call of the Wild (at least of ones posted rn, Red String of Death just might overtake it). I think this was the first time I reread one of my own fics and felt genuine pride. Like complete unabashed pride. I kept going :0 I did that, her mind!! Especially the first chapter, which is one I use for all my zine apps lmao. I think I got the atmosphere just right, I think I got the foreshadowing just right, I really like what I did with silence vs dialog through the story. I’m just so proud of it. I’ll probably never write anything for Kiribaku again but if I gave them one fic, I’m glad it was Call of the Wild.

Fic I was nervous to post: That would be The suffocating quality of your dying breaths (And the effect they had on me). I really liked this fic, I really vibed with it and I had a lot of fun writing it but I was afraid that what I was trying to say wouldn’t come across right. It’s a fic about suicidal tendencies not from the perspective of the person having them but the person closest to their side…that kinda hates their guts. I’m not sure how well I managed to get it across the 3 chapters it has, but it’s supposed to be about realizing your boundaries and that sometimes you just aren’t a person for the job and that sometimes you really shouldn’t torture yourself over what you can’t do and just do what you can instead. Some things require professional help and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for not being able to offer that kind of help. I was just afraid that ‘you have limits to what you can do to help’ would be misinterpreted as ‘so you think you should just not help suicidal people huh??’ I received a positive reception for it so if nothing else it went over well with some people!

Do you outline?: I just learned to properly outline this year ;;; I used to just go with the flow and that…ended up pretty bad. But now I found an outlining style that suits me and it helped a lot to make my writing better!!

Complete: 15! Most of them oneshots and staggering 9 from this year alone. I had a very bad creative drought for such a long time but now I’m back n yall there’s no stopping me

In progress: If we go by what’s not posted yet rn I’m working on 7 fics in various stages of done. I also have two more fics in WIP folder but they are waiting till I have time n motivation to write them. Also my notes are overflowing with future story ideas hbjbhj there’s a LOT.

Coming soon: Drumroll, three big bang fics (DabiHawks, ShinKami n TodoBaku) , one secret santa fic (it’s a surprise ;3c) and eventually three zine fics (>;3c) . Ya girl is head deep in events rn jjknjk HELP (jk I actually have them all under control believe it or not). These events played a large part in getting my motivation ball rolling again so I’m pumped to be a part of them, though also looking forward to more none event works after this.

Do I accept prompts?: Sure, if I’m vibing with the idea n have the free time (which I don’t ever;;;)

Upcoming works I’m most excited for: Red String of Death, my upcoming DabiHawks big bang fic! Honestly I’ve had a wild ride with this one, a real roller-coaster. I was really excited by the idea, then I was afraid it was boring actually, then I got a great beta who encouraged me a lot and provided a lot of valuable feedback and now im PUMPED again, I think it’s p good if I do say so myself and I’m super excited to see how people feel about it. It’s not the happiest story I’d say, it follows in the footsteps of Call of the Wild by having a sorta bittersweet ending and in being like a fic that’s about a commonly used sort of magic trope (werewolves vs reincarnation n soulmates) being given a little twist that makes it oh so painful. Anyway if it’s spiritual successor to Call of the Wild then you know my hype is real, I just hope others like it as much!

Tagging: Uhhh do it if you want to its late and im lazy to tag!!!

#lucy rants #i needed a bit of a happy rant cuz i had a really bad day n this was exactly what doctor ordered #i could talk about my writing for ages

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shhh-no-ones-home · 5 years ago

Text

creature of the night* vinny mauro x reader

+++++++++ Watching the Rocky horror picture show together for the first time

sorry this took me so long to put out holy shit. i will have another smut shot posted soon, i have to edit it still. enjoy none the less

* - shes here

Song: like lovers do by hey violet

tag list: @thisplace-ishaunted @alilpunkrock @ryansitkowskiswifey @theoneandonlykymberlee @svintsandghosts @cynic-spirit +++++++++

I came back into the room holding a bag of popcorn and falling into the couch where I had been before. I had invited Vinny over to watch a movie and picked one of my personal favorites: the Rocky horror picture show. I tossed a piece of the popcorn into my mouth before handing vinny the bag.

"I still can't believe you've never seen this. You're twenty five for fucks sake. Hell I've been watching this movie since I was like eleven."

He crunched on the popcorn and shrugged at me.

"It was just never of any interest. you know I'm into more nerdy things. Like star wars."

I laughed a little, taking the bag back from him and tossing a few kernels into my mouth.

"Well yeah, so am I but it's a classic! I have like all the songs down pat, some of the dances too."

I looked over at him and he was shaking his head.

"Oh I'm well aware, remember, you were performing a few of them backstage last tour. I have the videos to prove it."

I smirked at him and tossed some of the popcorn his way.

"I thought I told you to delete those. If there's one thing I don't need it's the internet seeing me singing and dancing to the time warp very shittily."

He laughed at me as he picked the kernels off his shirt and ate them.

"Oh no, I'm keeping those forever, ya know for my own enjoyment. And maybe I'll just have to take more, you've already been singing along to some of the songs."

I nodded once very proudly.

"Yes I have. The most embarrassing one is coming up though, it's hilarious."

He sent me a look.

"I feel like I should be scared."

I laughed and shook my head.

"Don't be."

We both turned our attention back to the movie. I was right, it really was a super awkward part of the movie. I sat and watched in agony as "toucha toucha" came on, cringing but singing along anyways.

"I was feeling down and- couldn't win. I'd only ever kissed before-"

I paused and laughed a little bit.

"Hah, same."

I said, continuing singing. Then Vinny looked at me.

"Wait really?"

I looked at him and shrugged as I continued to act out the scene from my spot on the couch.

"Toucha toucha toucha touch me!"

I mocked Columbia's voice, standing up and dancing around. Vinny just laughed at me.

"You are something else."

"I wanna be dirty!"

I sang, mocking the actors, walking around the living room. Vinny just watched me with a wide smile on his face. When the song ended I breathed heavily from dancing and laughed.

"Damn I think I need a drink now, you want something?"

I said walking towards the kitchen as the scene changed. He didn't answer me so I figured no, but as I reached for a cup he announced himself and scared me.

"Have you really never had sex?"

I let out a short laugh.

"Yeah? What about it?"

He crossed his arms over his chest as he stood in the door way.

"I don't know I guess I just find it hard to believe. You're always making jokes and flirting around and stuff like you've had practice."

I shrugged, taking a drink.

"And what's wrong with that? I mean I've always kinda wanted to but I've never been in a serious relationship long enough to get there. You know, I'm not a one and done kinda person."

I walked a little further away from the fridge and leaned against the table. He nodded in understanding.

"What if it was with a friend?"

I laughed a little but stopped when I realized his serious expression didn't break.

"Wait, you can't be serious. Vinny youre my best friend."

He shrugged, walking slowly to me.

"What's wrong with that? Friends sleep together all the time. And it's not like we don't have a connection already. Come on, you can't tell me you haven't thought about it. Specially not with the way you flirt."

He practically towered over me. I felt kind of small in that moment. He was right though. I had thought about it being him many times and kinda sorta really wanted to do it. He looked deep into my eyes before slamming his lips into mine. It took me completely by surprise, causing me to drop the hard plastic cup I was holding; Water went everywhere.

"Shit!"

I said pulling away. He looked down at our now soaked pants. He shrugged.

"Guess now we have to take them off..."

He smiled at me and I laughed, face planting lightly.

"Can't argue with that."

I said, peaking up at him between my fingers. He was grinning from ear to ear. When I moved my hand down to my chest he leaned forward and kissed me a little more hungrily. My hand slowly made its way into his soft hair as we made out. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist before lifting me up onto the table. I pulled away from him, placing a hand firmly against his chest. He went in for another kiss though.

"Wait."

I breathed out and he paused, still being severely close to me.

"What's wrong?"

He looked between my eyes with a concerned look on his face. I swallowed hard.

"Don't be rough."

I squeaked out and he smiled at me, kissing me gently.

"I'll do whatever you want."

I nodded.

"Thanks vin."

He leaned in and kissed me once reassuringly. He looked between my eyes for guidance before kissing me again and again, building back up. As we started making out again I felt his hands travel around my waist and pop the button on my jeans. Neither of us stopped kissing as I did the same to him, feeling him push his pants down. When he actually pulled away he kicked them completely off, coming back to help me with mine. I laughed a little bit as he pulled them down my legs.

"Is something funny?"

He said amused and I nodded.

"Yes, just, all of this is hilarious to me."

I confessed, hearing the movie still playing in the background. he kissed me quickly.

"Well I hope you enjoy yourself the whole time, not just this now."

I nodded.

"Oh I think I will."

I winked at him and he smirked at me, moving to pull his shirt off. I inhaled sharply. I know id seen him without it before but he must have been working out since I'd seen him last cause hot damn.

"Like what you see?"

He said a little cocky and I bit my lip, nodding slowly.

"I'm glad to hear that."

He leaned forward and kissed my neck. I stiffened at the contact but relaxed as he kissed along my jawline, pulling at my shirt too to get it off. When it was gone he was quick to pull me to the edge of the table. He began kissing me slowly, running his fingers lightly down my body. I hummed into his mouth as he ran his hand across my thigh. He pulled away and looked me in the eyes.

"Is it alright if I touch you?"

I nodded and he moved his hand closer to my core. i leaned in.

"Can I touch you?"

He smiled at me.

"Of course you can."

I hesitated for a second before sliding my hand in his boxers and running my hand over him. He groaned low in his throat as I began to pump him lightly. I watched him close his eyes as he leaned into my touch.

"Vinny?"

I watched his face.

"Yeah?"

He sighed out before opening his eyes and kissing me again.

"You're doing great baby."

I let go of him as he moved his hand, running his thumb up me over my panties. I opened my legs a little wider as he moved them to the side and circled my clit, making me moan.

"You're so wet already."

He said quietly, moving back down to kiss and suck at my neck. I ran my hands up his arms slowly and along his shoulder. I dropped my head back.

"I want you so bad vin."

I sighed out. He removed his thumb from my clit and replaced it with one of his fingers, running it down my folds and pushing it into me. I moaned at the feeling. He pulled away from me.

"Are you ready?"

I nodded.

"Please."

He pulled his finger out of me and pulled me closer to him, pushing his boxers down. We both looked down as he ran his tip up my folds and against my clit. I moaned loudly before he lined himself up with me and pushed into me slowly. I clenched my jaw at the feeling. He looked back up at me.

"You okay?"

I nodded quickly, trying to convince myself more-so than him.

"Yeah just go slow."

He kissed my forehead and began pulling out slowly, he got halfway before pushing back into me. He did that a few times, his hand making its way around my waist to hold me to him. It was starting to feel better at least.

"You can go faster."

I croaked out and he sent me a look.

"You sure?"

I kissed him gently.

"Yeah."

He nodded in response before doing as told and moaning into my neck. I held onto him, pressing my finger tips into his shoulder as he found a good pace. Both our breathing was getting heavier as he pushed in and out of me. When we were both comfortable he reached down and started circling my clit again. I moaned loudly and dropped my head back.

"Vinny."

I sighed out, hearing him grunt in response and look down. He had a hard grip on my hip as he started thrusting quicker, still moving against my clit. I leaned forward again, resting my forehead against his.

"Fuck."

He groaned out.

"Keep going."

I said between breaths, him nodding at me frantically and looking up at me finally. Then he hit something in me, earning a loud high pitched sound from me.

"Fuck!"

I yelled, coming around him. I dropped my arm back against the table to steady myself, letting him go as he pulled out of me. He leaned forward and kissed me hungrily as he pumped himself onto my legs, moaning into my mouth. When he finished he leaned forward, one hand on either side of me and we both just panted together. I ran my hand through his now sweaty hair and kissed the top of his head.

"Thanks for that vin."

He looked up at me before standing a little and hugging me, kissing the side of my head.

"Anything for a friend."

#wattpad #x reader #miw #vinny mauro #vincenzo mauro #chenzo mauro #one shots #imagines #smut #198

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