#i can speculate about Tommy being afraid to be himself but still looking for love and. family and finding it in Buck

[bidisasterevankinard]

Tommy becomes regular and when show ends with bucktommy canon we have one of the last episodes as Tommy Begins where he was looking for family and love and had hard way to admit he's queer and then episode ends with him proposing to Buck

You see my vision, right?

[sjsmith56]

So Far Apart, Chapter 17 - Eyes of the Father

Summary: Still stunned by Bucky’s behaviour, Lacey decides to move to the city, hoping for a more normal life. After giving himself up, Bucky undergoes assessment before he is allowed to live in Brooklyn.

Length: 4.6 K

Characters: Lacey, Terry, Tommy. Bucky, Sam, John Walker, Flag Smashers.

Warnings: idiots in love, Bucky feeling adrift.

Author notes: This chapter covers several episodes of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier.  Rather than duplicate all the dialogue I chose to paraphrase the interactions with the characters and create new dialogue where needed.  In making the Wattpad mood board for this chapter I put the title in an open space and realized that "So Far Apart" didn't just refer to Bucky and Lacey but also to the dynamics between Lacey and Clint, forcing her to leave the safety of the farm, Bucky and Dr. Raynor, Bucky and Leah, Bucky and Isaiah Bradley, and finally Bucky and Sam.   I love serendipitous discoveries like that.   Please reblog and comment as it helps the creative process.

<<Chapter 16

🚸 🍣 🚛

Lacey didn't want to hear it anymore so she walked outside in the middle of Clint telling her again about Bucky trying to give him a letter to her. As she could hear his anger erupting even further she walked towards the tree house, wiping the tears away from her face. She wished Clint had taken the letter so she could at least begin to understand why Bucky left her. There had to be a reason but until she heard it from Bucky herself everything else was speculation. Her phone, stuck in the back pocket of her jeans, rang and she pulled it out, standing in the middle of the field.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Lacey," said the clipped accented voice of Shuri. "I thought you would be at the memorial."

"I couldn't," replied Lacey. "Was Bucky there?"

"Yes, he was there," said Shuri carefully. "He looked terrible, like a man full of regret."

"Good," said Lacey. "What did he tell you?"

"That he made a terrible decision and hurt someone he loves," said the young scientist diplomatically. "Based on what he told me I think it was his PTSD that was talking."

"Well, I guess that can always be used as an excuse," replied Lacey bitterly. "He left me in the middle of sex, Shuri. Pulled out, took the condom off, said we were a mistake and left. What kind of man does that?"

Shuri sighed. "A man who is still afraid of his memories," she said patiently. "He had a vision of something the Soldier did and it frightened him as he thought he was capable of doing it to you. He flinched when I touched his arm; a sign of regression.

Lacey could feel her throat constricting as sobs threatened to overwhelm her. She breathed deeply several times trying to deal with it.

"Then it would have been better if he stayed away until he could deal with them," she finally said. "I can't be jerked around like that; not by any man. You tell him when he has his shit together I'll talk to him. Until then he should just stay away."

Shuri sighed again. This was going to be harder than she thought. "He has already turned himself in and we are leaving for Wakanda within the hour," she stated. "I don't know when I will see him again."

"Well, that's unfortunate for him then," answered Lacey curtly, then she softened her tone. "Look, I still love him but he hurt me deeply when he did that. Tommy is devastated. Until Bucky fixes himself Tommy and I can't be around him. If that's harsh then that's how it is. Thank you for trying though."

She broke the connection and kneeled down in the grass, feeling like she wanted to throw up. At first she was going to stay here on the farm but with Clint being so angry at Bucky she wasn't sure that was good for her and Tommy either. She heard her name and saw Terry coming towards her. Surprisingly he had said nothing derogatory about Bucky which surprised her. Standing up she faced her big brother.

"Clint is still pissed," he said. "I'm beginning to wonder if maybe it's time we moved on."

"I was just thinking that," she replied. "I could buy a new farm but honestly, I'm missing city life right now."

"How do you feel about moving to Philadelphia?" he asked. "I just got a text from my renter. They're moving out. Three bedrooms, penthouse. It's the only thing I own outright. Nancy will be nearby as well."

"I accept," said Lacey. "There's a school nearby, right? As long as I walk Tommy to and from school he should be safe. What will you do?"

"I've put out feelers to the university about coaching," he replied. "I think I would be good at it. Being around Tommy helped put things into perspective."

"You haven't said anything about Bucky," she stated.

He took a deep breath and looked away briefly. "Before you came down the stairs that night he and I were having a good talk," he said. "I think whatever he said to you, whatever he did, came from a place of fear that overwhelmed him. He was likely afraid of physically hurting you because that's the only thing I can see making him leave you. He just needs to find himself again. Then you have to forgive him."

"I don't know if I can," replied Lacey. "I don't know if Tommy can."

"You forgave me," he declared. "I was terrible to you many times over. Your forgiveness saved me. At some point you can save him with three words. That's the last I'll say about it."

They walked back to the house where Laura had finally succeeded in calming Clint down. Lacey thanked them for sheltering them for so long then announced that she, Tommy and Terry were planning to live in Philadelphia.

"What about your safety?" asked Clint. "You'll be visible there."

"If Sharon Carter could find me here I can be found anywhere," said Lacey. "I'll let SHIELD know and see if Wong can put a protection spell on the apartment. It's a penthouse, with its own elevator, right?"

She looked at Terry for confirmation. "Yeah, it's very secure," he replied. "I rented it out when Lacey asked me to live here during the Blip. Now that your family is back it's better if we give you your privacy. I'll be there. We can walk Tommy to and from school. It's time we started living normally."

Three weeks later they said goodbye to the Bartons and began the long drive to Philadelphia. They stopped in Toledo staying at a motel for the night then drove the rest of the way the following day with both of them sharing the driving. When they arrived at the apartment building the concierge let them into the underground parking and handed the pass keys to Terry, welcoming him back after his time away. The trip up the elevator took only a minute and when they got out Terry was happy to see his tenants had kept it up. The furniture and appliances still looked good and it was obvious a cleaning company had been in.

"They even bought us new bedding," he called out when he went into his room. "Nice people." He went out and picked up Tommy's bag leading him to a bedroom. "This can be your room. We'll get a desk and a computer for school work. There's a sports field nearby where we can toss the football around."

Tommy hugged his uncle while Lacey went to the third bedroom and put her bag on the bed. She could hear the traffic noise outside but it wasn't as bad as she expected. As she pulled her clothes out of the bag the origami heart fell out, along with the picture of Bucky in Bucharest. She picked both up and looked at them, then placed them in the nightstand with a sigh. Why did loving someone have to be so hard sometimes?

After a major grocery shopping expedition, and a phone call to the school for an appointment to register Tommy the next day the three of them sat down to a meal and began what they hoped would be a relatively normal life in Philadelphia. Terry was successful in becoming the receiver's coach for the university football team and would be checking in there the following day. Lacey had already advised her publisher of the move. Her bank account was healthy and she had an idea for her fourth book. She would be able to write in the apartment without interruption once Tommy began school. It was a new start and she would make the best of it.

🛌 💭

It was the Hotel Inessa in Russia. The Soldier burst through the wall and took out the entire security detail of his target, a Russian oligarch. Then he grasped the target around the throat and squeezed.

"Hail HYDRA" were the only words he said just before the man slumped to the ground, dead.

The sound of a man breathing in fear and trying to put a key in a lock reached him and he looked to his left. A witness. Taking several steps towards him the Soldier focussed his attention on the man who was whimpering now, turning towards him in fear. Calmly he took the gun out of his holster, aimed it right between the man's eyes and pulled the trigger.

Bucky sat up, breathing heavily, as he woke from the nightmare. Ever since he started living in Brooklyn, it was this particular nightmare that haunted him. Even leaving the TV and the hallway light on didn't stop it. He sat there, trying to calm himself. The worst part was that until he made amends it wouldn't stop but this atonement was the hardest one yet. Hard because he made friends with the victim's father, Yori, and knew the man still suffered over the murder of his son. Sighing he got up off the makeshift bed he made on the floor. Bed, he smirked, ... it was a blanket and a couch cushion. Stepping into the shower he ran some shampoo through his now short hair and washed his face and body, rinsing off and stepping out within five minutes. The shaver took off some of the excess stubble from his jaw and chin, just enough so it wasn't a beard. He liked the feel of it when he rubbed his jaw with his flesh hand. After looking at himself in the mirror he turned away, disappointed with the man he saw.

After spending a month in a secure facility, then another month undergoing psychiatric evaluation he had finally been deemed "safe" to live amongst people. They even gave him his army pension, adjusted for the length of time he was a prisoner of HYDRA, also adjusted for inflation. It was enough to rent this small flat and eat out once in a while. His lawyer was still working on the claim for compensation; he had all the files from HYDRA which showed that certain high-ranking Army officials at the time, who were also HYDRA agents, knew he was alive and being tortured into becoming the Fist of HYDRA. Bucky figured it would be a long time, if ever, before he saw any of it.

He went to what was supposed to be his bedroom but really was just where he kept his clothes and put on his black jeans, long sleeve black T-shirt and black boots. Running his flesh hand through his still damp hair he styled it, somewhat, then noticed the picture of Lacey, stuck into the frame of the dresser mirror. It was the one he took from her place, the one the CIA confiscated when they arrested him in Leipzig. His lawyer went through a lot of trouble to get Bucky's possessions from that arrest returned to him. The only possessions he really cared about were that picture, her first and second book, the crucifix Eleni gave him, and his memory books. Even though he knew he had irreparably damaged the relationship with Lacey forever he still liked looking at the picture, reminding him of that day and night they spent together. He did wish he had a picture of Tommy, especially with his birthday coming up. With regret he realized he didn't have an address to send a birthday present to him. Some father.

Grabbing his black jacket he whirled out of the apartment and took the bus to his appointment with Dr. Raynor, his therapist. They were like oil and water. She wanted him to talk while he just wanted to be left alone. She brought up that he hadn't answered any texts from Sam. There was a reason for that ... Sam had given the shield to the Smithsonian deciding he wasn't up to being Captain America. Bucky knew he couldn't talk to him without the bitterness of that decision rearing its head.

Once again Dr. Raynor went over the three rules; don't do anything illegal, don't hurt anyone, and make sure the people he was atoning to knew he was no longer the Winter Soldier. He was James Bucky Barnes. It was exhausting talking to her and while he had no doubt about her qualifications he wished he could have had someone else. She didn't know about Lacey and Tommy; at least she hadn't said anything about them and he wanted to keep it that way.

After he left his therapy appointment he headed out for lunch and came across his friend, Yori, in the middle of an argument with a neighbour, Unique, or as he said like Monique but with a U because he was unique. Bucky did all he could to keep his eyes from rolling on that reasoning. To his embarrassment Yori set him up on a date with Leah, the server at the sushi bar they went to. Still, she agreed to it and he decided to follow through.

The following evening he showed up at the sushi bar with a bouquet of flowers because that's what guys did in his day. To her it was funny, describing the gesture as an old fashioned thing to do and he found himself on the defensive from the get go. She was nice but she wasn't Lacey and he found it uncomfortable when she brought up Yori's son, R.J. Partway through the meal Bucky excused himself, to Leah's confusion and went straight to Yori's apartment, intending to confess to R.J.'s death but he couldn't get the words out and instead paid Yori some money he owed him. That night he had the nightmare again and woke up on the floor, feeling like shit, once more.

A few days later Bucky received a gut punch when the American government announced a new Captain America on live TV, a man by the name of John Walker, a three time Medal of Honor winner. Bucky sat on the floor watching Walker's interview on TV and couldn't believe the bullshit coming out of the guy's mouth, especially when he described Steve as being like a brother to him. The sour taste in Bucky's mouth at that point was almost enough to make him throw up. He received a text the following day from Sam that he was going to Munich on a mission. Angry at him for what he considered a betrayal of everything Steve stood for Bucky showed up at the base, flashed his veteran's ID and went to the hangar that Sam would leave from. As Sam came down the stairs with Torres to board the aircraft Bucky walked right up to him and told him he shouldn't have given up the shield. Sam ignored the anger in Bucky's voice and kept walking, until he couldn't ignore what Bucky said next.

"You knew this would happen?" demanded Bucky.

"No, I didn't know," replied Sam. "The shield was supposed to be retired, never to be associated with any other man. I was just as blindsided by this as you were."

"Tell them you want it back," stated Bucky.

"I can't do that," answered Sam, frustrated. "I can't tell them I changed my mind just because I don't agree with their decision."

They went back and forth some more, each getting angrier and more frustrated with the other until Sam put his foot down and told Bucky he had something more important to deal with. He brought up a picture on his cell phone of a man with a black mask, covered by a red hand and told Bucky the guy was strong, too strong. Bucky wasn't impressed so Sam told him about the Flag Smashers and how they were causing incidents across Europe. Then they got into a nonsensical conversation about the big three, aliens, androids and wizards. In frustration Bucky invited himself along on the flight to Munich on a military cargo plane, picking up a go bag he just happened to bring. After changing into fighting clothes, and setting himself up with a comms piece, he sat and glared at Sam the entire flight. Suddenly Lt. Torres, the intelligence officer on board, called out 30 seconds and Sam jumped out of the aircraft using his wings. Bucky asked for a chute, was told there wasn't one and with a cocking of his head, tore his left sleeve off, jumping out of the aircraft without one being only 200 feet up. Crashing through the trees below him Bucky landed on the ground, flat on his back, only to have Sam laughingly tell him it was all on camera. Sam sent Red Wing to guide Bucky to where he was, inside a building where the Flag Smashers were loading a hijacked shipment of suspected weapons into different trucks.

When Sam used Red Wing's instrumentation to see a person sitting inside the back of the truck just before it and another truck left they interpreted it as a possible hostage situation. As Sam flew out of the warehouse Bucky ran, catching up quickly to the truck and opening the back door to get inside.

"These are all filed with medicines," said Bucky, once he was inside. Suddenly a young woman shyly poked her head out from behind one of the containers and Bucky greeted her. She went back behind the container and Sam's voice asked him what was going on. She came out again, looking scared. "I found a girl. She looks terrified."

A smile broke across her face and she kicked Bucky in the chest, right out of the truck and onto the front of the truck behind. He swore as he held on to the grille of the truck. She put a Flag Smashers mask on then leaped onto the cab of the second truck at the same time he was pulled up by two other mask wearing men. The three of them began beating him so Sam sent Red Wing to fire on them but the woman leaped up, grabbed it and destroyed it. In response, Sam landed on the truck and engaged the woman but she tossed him to the other truck which also had three mask wearing people on it and soon found himself on his back. Just as one of the Flag Smashers was about to hurt him an object came out of the sky, hitting the man and knocking him over. As both Sam and Bucky watched, the new Captain America, John Walker, and his second, Lemar Hoskins, landed on top of the moving trucks from a helicopter. Using the shield Walker was able to knock several of the others off. The other Flag Smashers resumed their attack and Bucky fell off the side, using his vibranium arm to slow his descent and hang on. Trapped underneath the chassis of the truck he was unable to get back up. Sam flew alongside of him just as the chassis began to come apart. Flying directly into him Sam grabbed Bucky and flew him through to the other side of the truck, rolling over and over until they came to rest in a field.

He lay on his back after rolling off Sam, looking up at the sky. "I think you were right about them," he announced grimly. "They're too strong. They have to be super soldiers."

"Tell me something I don't know," groaned Sam, still hurting from the tumble into the field.

They pulled themselves up and made their way to the road, both wondering how there were suddenly a group of super soldiers on the loose. While they walked an army vehicle drove up beside them with Walker and Hoskins in it. Walker talked to them about working together which irritated Bucky to no end. They finally agreed to take a ride back to the airport with them and Sam told the other two that those people were super soldiers. As they talked back and forth Bucky finally had enough with what he saw as two guys who didn't understand what they were really up against and he got out of the vehicle, walking towards a nearby town. Walker tried to convince Sam to join him and Hoskins but even Sam felt insulted by the attitude and also got out, catching up with Bucky.

"I'm not working with him, Sam," declared Bucky, turning suddenly. "Neither of them. They don't have a fucking clue."

"Look, I know you're still pissed about the shield," said Sam diplomatically. "He seems to think we owe him our assistance which considering how he talked down to both of us is the last thing either of us wants. But we can't allow ourselves to be affected to the point where we're on the outside, looking in."

They arrived at the train station and were able to purchase a couple of tickets to the airport. Neither said anything on the trip there and even on the flight Bucky sat brooding while Sam observed him. Bucky brought up taking the shield back but Sam pointed out the last time that happened Sharon had to go underground and both he and Steve were on the run for two years. Grimly, Bucky stood up and sat next to Sam, then looked at him seriously.

"You need to meet someone," he said quietly.

He wouldn't say anything more until they landed back in the States. After changing into civilian clothes they took a train to Baltimore and Bucky took Sam to an ordinary two story house. He knocked on the door and it opened to a young black man who looked suspiciously at both of them.

"We want to see Isaiah, please," said Bucky.

The young man who answered refused to let them in until Bucky said one more thing. "Look, tell him the guy from Goyang is here," he answered. "He's knows who I am."

The young man closed the door while they waited. Bucky offered little explanation and Sam began to wonder what was really going on. When they entered there was an old black man standing in a darkened living room, defiantly staring at them, especially Bucky. When he spoke to Bucky his voice was full of venom.

Bucky introduced Sam to him as Isaiah Bradley. By the conversation between Bucky and the old man Sam realized that Isaiah was another super soldier, one unknown to history. He had defeated the Winter Soldier in a physical confrontation in 1951, destroying his artificial arm. Isaiah's anger and bitterness spilled out of him as he detailed the reward he got from the military after defeating the Soldier, 30 years in prison and countless experiments performed on him as they tried to duplicate the serum that had worked on him. Bucky told him about the other super soldiers he and Sam encountered. But Isaiah didn't want to hear about it and ordered them out of his house. Sam was angry as they walked down the steps. Angry that there had been a black super soldier but no one knew about it. Angry that Bucky never told him before that day. Bucky explained he never told anyone about Isaiah, knowing that the man just wanted to live in peace.

Before Sam could say anything more a police siren sounded near them and two policemen got out of their squad car. Sam looked grimly at Bucky, expecting to be harassed for yelling at a white man. As the situation escalated Bucky finally asked if they knew who Sam was. Looking closely at them one of the cops whispered they were Avengers and suddenly their whole attitude changed. Another squad car pulled up with its lights flashing. The first two officers came back and apologetically told Bucky he was under arrest for missing his therapy appointment. Looking resigned at Sam, Bucky went with the two policemen, offered his hands to be cuffed and allowed himself to be put in the police car. Sam made his way to the station and waited to see if he could bail him out.

After some time an older woman approached him and introduced herself as Dr. Raynor, Bucky's therapist. At first Sam thought she had bailed Bucky out but she told him she had nothing to do with it. At that moment Walker and Hoskins walked in, indicating they had Bucky released on condition that he and Sam work with them. Dr. Raynor protested that Bucky's therapy wasn't finished but Walker claimed jurisdiction on him. Irritated at having her therapy schedule affected she ordered both Bucky and Sam into an interview room for a quick session. She tried several different techniques with them, seeing the hostility between them but neither would budge so she ordered them to face each other and gaze into each other's eyes, which disintegrated into a staring contest. Finally she got Bucky to share why he was so aggravated with Sam.

"Why did you give the shield back?" asked Bucky. "Steve believed that you could do this, could take his place. He believed in you and you act like it was nothing."

"You know nothing about it," said Sam defensively.

"So he was wrong for wanting the shield to go to someone he trusted," interrupted Bucky, his voice rising. "At least it looks that way to me. Maybe he was wrong about other people as well. Maybe...."

His voice broke and he couldn't complete the sentence as he glared angrily at Sam, who looked at him with a combination of sympathy and disappointment.

"I'm sorry you feel that way," replied Sam. "You likely won't understand because ...." Sam couldn't finish his sentence but Bucky could guess what he was going to say. He looked down, not accepting Sam's words which made the man angry. "We don't have time for this shit right now. Let's focus on the job we have to do and then we don't ever have to talk again. Okay? You happy?"

Sam got up and left. Dr. Raynor looked at Bucky, feeling that she had totally missed the mark on this session. Bucky left right after giving her a look from the doorway that said plenty. Outside Walker and Hoskins were waiting for them and once again asked Bucky and Sam to join them. Once again they declined. As they walked away Walker told them to stay out of his way. When they were some distance from the other two Bucky brought up that HYDRA might be involved and if it was there was someone they needed to bring in on the mission. Sam looked at Bucky in disbelief at first. He thought about it for a several moments then stopped.

"Alright, let's go see Zemo."

Chapter 18>>

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[bonesandthebees]

Okay so no analysis now, just screaming.

What is wrong with tntduo why are they like that? /pos Poor Techno if only it was what it looked like. Would have been less fucked up.

[”I’ve seen empty before, and you’re not it.”] Quantity would know. He’s probably seen people drink themselves into shells on multiple occasions.

I am eyeing this world-building. Also, I lied, have a tiny crumb of analysis. If the man they ran into was indeed concerned to Eret and recognised the Pythia, then Eret would know there is no Pythia and that would be very bad for war. Eyes vision at the end of the chapter. Ah, consequences.

Techno calling Wilbur kid is something that can be so personal. Also, he’s keeping a damn good eye on him in that stairwell. Also, Techno’s way of dealing with the religious trauma is blunt honesty. Where Tommy still knows when not to push (or claims he does) Techno just says things. And I’m analysing again, but it’s an entirely different way of pushing by telling Wilbur things he doesn’t want to hear and presenting them as fact. Pointing out Wilbur does have a choice, that he’s more trying go convince himself, and of course [“It (Wilbur being 12) was used against you.”] finally someone tells him.

Also, the bird slamming it’s beak through his ribs is literally Wilbur breaking free and becoming Wilbur. (I noticed a switch :D). Honestly I need to get on those bird metaphors because there where some really good ones this chapter. Even if I’m not talking about them, just know that I am Looking at them.

Oh and the vision. I’m not touching it yet, though I look forward to being able to did my teeth into that in the morning and throwing some speculation out there. Though it very much feels like they are going to get found. So just know that I am Afraid. Thanks for the fear Bee. I am terrified of the next chapter, but I did indeed enjoy this one.

Also, Wilbur got a vision!!!! Clara is warning him!!!!! Just him (and possibly the Deathlings)!!!!! This ain’t got shit to do with Schlatt or the country (it might cuz Cops, but still)!!!!!

-🌲

tntduo is soooo not normal like what the fuck was that. I know I wrote it but I still look at them and I'm like "wtf is wrong with you two." it definitely would've been better if they'd actually just been making out or something

yeahhhh you see a lot of empty people working as a bartender

hmm... we'll have to wait and see if the man they ran into is connected to eret or not...

I love the contrast of how phil, tommy, and techno all interact with wilbur's issues in this. because it's a back and forth with both phil and techno, even though techno is pushy and phil isn't. whereas there's no back and forth with tommy, it's just tommy steamrolling ahead. such a fun set of dynamics to play around with for sure.

finally someone told him...

man I have so much fun with the bird metaphors :D I'm glad you are Looking At Them

cannot WAIT to hear your thoughts about the vision

:) wilbur got a vision and it was entirely about himself (and tommy)

[stellocchia]

Okay, now that I have a bit of time it’s time to analize that disaster of a custody battle stream, also known as Tommy and Wilbur visiting Las Nevadas!

As always this is gonna be quite long so I’ll put everything under the cut and remember that I’ll only be talking about the characters. Also for the dialogues the colors are: Quackity, Tommy and Wilbur

One thing that I would like to point out before we get into it is that c!Tommy is pretty much spiraling throughout this stream (he dissociates and shows his suicidal tendencies more clearly) so it’s good to keep this in mind when analizing his actions and words. 

First of all here’s Wilbur’s pov of it: Wilbur's POV

And here’s Tommy’s: Tommy's POV

I’ll be using both for this.

One thing that is immediately interesting to notice is that, despite supposedly living with Phil we mostly see Wilbur around L’Manhole.

“Have you been sewing? Knitting? That can be a dangerous sport if done too quickly” (just wanted to point out the tailor!Tommy bit)

So first of all is the confirmation that the stone never had a use beyond keeping Tommy occupied back when Wilbur asked for it. The task of gathering the stone could also have been a test on Wilbur’s part to test Tommy’s obedience considering that it was a tedious and apparently sensless task that most people would not have taken on.

Afterwards we have an interesting little bit where Wilbur demonstrates that he is still extremely knowledgable when it comes to tnt, knowing which blocks are more resistent to it and even being able to deduce that the ufo was blown up from the inside (something he’ll lie about later). 

“Someone’s a little copycat. Hey tommy someone’s a little copycat~” (in reference to what happened to Purpled’s ufo. This could be interpreted as derogatory we’ll have to see if Wilbur appreciates someone imitating his work)

Quackity’s book is then introduced, though at first Wilbur is very vague about it’s contents before straight up lying about them (saying that it said: “My dearest friend Wilbur, I’ve really missed seeing you, come to project Nevadas your best friend Quackity”), here’s the actual contents of it:

It is possible that he didn’t mention the actual content to Tommy because he was afraid Tommy would have kept him from meeting Quackity if he knew that he seemingly agreed with Wilbur’s ideology, though this is just a theory. 

Another interesting thing is that Wilbur keeps referring to Ghostbur’s resurrection site as his “tombstone” despite Tommy having already told him last time that he didn’t get one. Perhaps this is a show of Wilbur’s own fear of being forgotten or of having been inconsequential to the bigger narrative (his continued search for the confirmation that he did have a big impact would seem to point to this).

“Will, I’m accustomed to people lying to me. Just tell me: will the book, whatever is in there, bring us more primes?” (this is an interesting way for Tommy to let Wilbur know that he knows he’s lying while still trying to keep the conversation more light herted)

On their way to Las Nevadas there is an interesting instance of Wilbur standing still near a creeper instead of trying to protect himself so that Tommy has to intervene (similar instances happen multiple times throughout the stream) which could be a portrayal of his self-destructive tendencies and kinda mirrors Tommy's behaviour in exile. 

“Every person we’ve spoken to aside from say, I don’t know, Jack Manifold. Every person aside from Jack Manifold has taken a bit of a disliking to me. Oh and Phil, Phil was lovely too, and you actually! Come to think of it the 3 people I care about most, Jack Manifold, you and Phil, have been the nicest to me”

There are a few things I wanna say here: first of all there is one manipulation tactic that consists of making yourself out to be the victim in a certain situation in order to gain pity, sympathy or evoke compassion in the other and that’s what Wilbur has been doing both in this stream and in the past when mentioning that people hate him despite every single person he met (aside from Tommy himself) actually being rather kind and accomodating. This does probably come from Wilbur’s own self-hatred and his view of himself as a villain but, once again, I would like to remind you that manipulation is still manipulation even if you believe in what you’re saying. 

The second point I wanted to talk about briefly was the line about only caring about the 3 people he mentioned. Aside from how truthful he is about all 3 of them (I’m sorry but I have a hard time believing that he cares deeply for Jack Manifold when he didn’t even used to remember who he was) he also later mentions that there are other people he would like to see, basically it’s like the L’Manburg situation: just because Wilbur says he doesn’t care about something it doesn’t mean that it’s true.

“They told me it was like a small little town where Big Q sells funny potions and liquids from his van” (so from Tommy’s understanding Las Nevadas was a mix between the drug van and og L’Manburg. I wonder if we’ll find out who gave him this idea)

Little note about Wilbur throwing Linda (Tommy’s prized shovel) away twice during this stream almost casually.

“Tommy stand back. Tommy stand back” (Wilbur interposing himself between Tommy and a situation that might be dangerous, I’ll talk about this a bit later but keep it in mind)

“I’ll tell you what: it’s nice to see you out of that stupid vice president shirt. You know I never thought you were fit for that vice president thing anyway, I think that this is- this is- what- what are you like the concierge of this area? Like the cleaner?” “This is so nice!” “I don’t know what to call it Wilbur all I know is that this is my place. This is mine. I own this place”

It is interesting to note that Wilbur apparently did not think too highly of Quackity, immediately assuming he must be and employee rather then having a leading position, he even expresses that he didn’t think Quackity was fit to even be vice president. It’s also interesting to point out that Tommy gets immediately uncomfortable with where the conversation is going and splits off from the two to explore while also being extra obnoxious in an attempt to split up the fight he knew to be coming (he is always rather perceptive), to which Quackity responds only with amusement (actually humouring Tommy), while Wilbur simply ignores it for the time being. 

“If I’d known there was a place I could align myself to as quickly as this I would have done it sooner” (could be both a search for community as well as him generally prefering being aligned to a country as he comments later on that he’s not a fan of anarchy by mentioning that him and Phil don’t see eye to eye on this)

This is when Wilbur brings up Quackity’s book for the second time mentioning that he assumed it was an invite to joing Quackity in Las Nevadas, which turns out it wasn’t. 

“So that’s the invitation to work alongside you I assume, I- I accept. I accept. I’d love to come in” “Big Q I also wanted... can I move into the big- the big penis?” “*laugh* No Tommy. Wilbur, Wilbur” “Yeah?” “No? No?” “That was... that was not an invitation I’m sorry Wilbur” *Wilbur checks the book again* “That’s not an invitation. Wilbur, Wilbur, my nation will not be subject to your... unpredictability, alright? Thank you so much for coming, thank you so much for visiting Wilbur but, uhm... I don’t need any- I don’t need any extra members right now” 

So taking this conversation a bit at a time: Quackity is the first person since Wilbur has come back (aside from Tommy, but Tommy’s opinion really doesn’t matter to Wilbur) who hasn’t tried to accomodate him. He set his own rules and stuck by them not willing to budge on it at all. Also it is interesting to note that Quackity so far doesn’t seem to be interested in letting Tommy join either, only changing his demeanour later after Tommy calls Wilbur out on his lying. This change of mind could both be tied to a crack he noticed in Tommy’s loyalty to Wilbur as well as done to spite Wilbur himself. Or both really. 

“[Las Nevadas] It’s like one of those visions you have after being in the mines for several hours” (Tommy mentioning having hallucinations once again)

“No... no, you’ve got it all wrong. You’ve got it all wrong man. Okay okay, maybe, maybe I was unprdictable in the past” “But it’s really nice...” “But I’ve turned over a new leaf Quackity! I don’t lie anymore, I don’t- I don’t, you know, I don’t deceive, I know nothing about tnt anymore. I’ve forgotten everything I knew about tnt, it’s ridiculous I-” “*snicker* Ok- mmm, well... Will, well” “Is he lying Tommy?”

Also here we have a clearer example of Wilbur lying and deceiving right after asserting that he doesn’t do it anymore (he deceived Tommy on the book and lied about his knowledge on tnt) together with Tommy calling him out on it.

“This is the best place on the server! This is like heaven! Paradise!” “Quackity we can stay, right?” “You seem to like it a lot Tommy” 

Immediately afterwards there’s where Quackity seems to change his mind about letting Tommy stay while also ignoring Wilbur in the process. Again we really don’t have any definitive indication for the reason why he changes his mind, it could be because he saw how much Tommy liked it here as much as it could be to spite Wilbur. Any conclusion for either is pure speculation.

“Quackity look at me, look at me in the eyes. I. Am. Your. Servant. I am at your service. I have run countries, I’ve won elections, I’ve done everything that you will need in a leadership role, Quackity. Even not in leadership! I can- I can be, you know, assistent to president”

Another less known form of manipulation. Wilbur wants power within this new country so he offers to cover a more “subservient” position to have Quackity let his guard down so that he can achieve his role. 

“Will this is so cool!” “Tommy SHUT UP!” “Hey! What a fu- hey what a fuck?!” (a bit of Wilbur’s “affable” persona slipping away paired up with Tommy immediately noticing that that was not okay and calling Wilbur out on it)

“Wilbur listen to me: I saw what you did to L’Manburg and I’m not letting Las Nevadas have the same fate as L’Manburg. I appreciate Tommy here, I appreciate you checking this place out Wilbur but, I don’t need your services, I don’t need your presence, you’re very unpredictable” (Quackity once more standing his ground and repeating that he does not trust Wilbur in the slightest and also reaffirming that he does want Tommy there instead)

It’s interesting to notice that all throughout this exchange, while Tommy was off exploring Quackity was the one often paying attention to him while Wilbur ignored him the whole time before snapping.

“So we’re not allowed?” “Tommy, I need to talk to you Tommy” “Am I allowed? Or is it just Will?” “Well, I’d love to discuss it with you” (Quackity is the first person that actually directly addressed Tommy while ignoring Wilbur since Wilbur’s resurrection and that’s quite interesting. It could be that perhaps he noticed that Wilbur seems to consider Tommy almost like an extension of himself and that he tried to drive a wedge into that)

The next few minutes are spent with Wilbur trying to find out exactly where the confines of Las Nevadas are.

“Tommy come with me. Tommy at my side please” (addressing him like a soldier again)

There is a back and forth between Wilbur and Quackity where Quackity tries to deflect Wilbur’s question about his ownership of the adiacent forest multiple times, but Wilbur does end up finding out that it’s not Quackity’s land. (Wilbur also has a throwaway comment about that forest being Paradise in response to Tommy calling Las Nevadas that which Tommy disagrees on).

“What’s the point in capitalism without healthy competition?” (Wilbur announcing he wants to create a country next to Quackity’s)

“Wait, where are you going?” “Just over here Tommy. Stay by my side, by my side” (once again an emphasis on wanting Tommy nearby, which isn’t new)

“You know what Wilbur? You’re right: capitalism strives on competition and I’m ready for all the competition you can bring me” (Wilbur is positively giddy at this declaration, which makes me think that he does truly see this competition mostly as a game)

“Will I don’t want to start a country, I very much like that country there” *Tommy points at Las Nevadas* “With the stone-” “Tommy we- we’ll discuss this in a minute” “No...” “No no no, Tommy seems to have some concerns about building a country from the ground up” (Tommy under) “Listen, listen, guys, guys, I was over there” (Quackity over) “So how about you take Tommy’s opinion into consideration? For once, for once in your life since you’ve never done so before” (Tommy under) “Can we please listen to me? You [Quackity] are not lis- you’re not lis- you’re actually speaking over me”

This is the first one of many conversations this stream where the fight has moved from the power pissing context Wilbur and Quackity had going on to Tommy. It’s also where they starting weaponizing him more and more (his traumas as well as the other’s treatment of him) while each trying to prove that they’re better for him then the other. Of course this isn’t actually about Tommy, it’s about power once again. Quackity has undeniably noticed by now how Wilbur treats Tommy (aka as an extension of himself) together with being pissed that Wilbur challenged him on his own territory (challenging Las Nevadas which is Quackity’s most prized possession) so he decided to repay him in kind. 

From here on out Tommy seems to spiral more, standing up for himself less, looking more and more uncomfortable (especially when the other two start bringing up his traumatic experiences) and slipping back into dissociation and self-loathing behaviour.

“You showed great interest for my country Tommy and I would like to speak to you about that” “Yes” “Wilbur I don’t think you’ll hold Tommy down and make him join your country” “I have utter fate that Tommy will make the right decision” (both of them starting to put pressure on him, subtly influencing him with their wording) 

Tommy and Quackity have a chat together alone (though Wilbur is listening in). 

First thing that happens is Quackity bringing up the hotel which Wilbur implies later was done maliciously, though we don’t know if Quackity knew that the ownership of it didn’t go back to Tommy once he came back to life.

Afterwards Tommy asks Quackity about his scar. 

“If I’m gonna speak to you I want you to be honest with me, ‘cause I’ve spent quite a lot of time with people who just bullshit me, they lie to me and I’m not doing that anymore” (this is one of Tommy’s 2 priorities in life right now. What he wants can be boiled down to honesty and safety)

Quackity does explain honestly what happened, though the information that they spent their time hunting down Techno while Tommy was in exile instead of trying to help him does understandably upset Tommy quite a bit. (Also Wilbur finally makes himself a sword).

“But if this [butcher army] was while I was in exile you’re meaning to tell me that you put in all of the effort to kill Techno instead of helping me?” (...) “You know I needed help and no one came to see me” (this set back his mentality regarding exile quite a bit I’d guess. The anger is more then understandable)

Quackity doesn’t deny the accusations but he does deflect a bit saying that they can talk about it another time and that he is not Tommy’s enemy to which Tommy agrees.

“How would you like to run the official food business of Las Nevadas” (this is Quackity’s big offer for Tommy)

(Wilbur putting pressure on Tommy in the meantime)

After this Wilbur intervenes directly inquiring on wether or not they were done. Quackity tries to get in a last minute sale pitch to Tommy who is getting quite overwhelmed and asks for some time to think (which he is now given by Quackity, but not later by Wilbur)

Wilbur also expresses worry for Tommy’s safety while they’re coming back, though how sincere it is it’s unknown (I think it's at least partially sincere worry, but I doubt that's all there is to it). That said I want to say that multiple times in this stream Wilbur has seemingly shown to be protective of Tommy when it comes to Quackity, often almost treating him as if he was incapable of defending himself (as if he couldn’t 1v2 the two of them easily). For example here, even though Tommy said that he can take care of himself Wilbur immediately responds out loud with an: “okay I’m coming” and bringing out his sword.

“Listen Tommy I heard what he was saying to you man and you don’t seriously believe that do you?” (keeping the question very open so that Tommy can interject his own doubts. Also Quackity technically didn’t lie once to Tommy and, while there was a bit of deflection on his part so far he hasn’t been all that manipulative if I’m being honest)

Wilbur proceeds to tell Tommy that if he stays with Quackity he’ll be nothing more then a caterer (strongly implying that that’s not something he wants) and Tommy chimes in saying that that’s not for him.

“Listen Tommy I’m not gonna stop you but, I’ll be honest with you man, you’re all I’ve got” (set up for the guilt tripping later as well as once again putting himself in the position of the victim so that Tommy won’t leave him. Also he denies that Jack and Phil count as well because the first is too busy and he doesn’t agree with the political views of the latter)

“I wanna make a place where we can be safe for once. Tommy it’s been so long since we felt safe and man you deserve it. You’ve been through so much, you’ve done so much, Tommy you’ve changed the world! And all you’ve got to show for it is some scars and some trauma. Tommy you deserve this safety and this sanctuary and that’s why I wanna make it with you and you won’t get it over there”

Now this should sound familiar to quite a few people, mostly because it’s pretty similar to the tactic that Quackity himself uses. First identify the victim’s vulnerabilities and their desires (Tommy only wants 2 things and only one is connected to physical places so safety it is). Second relate to the victims experiences repeating that they do deserve to get what they so desperately want (check back Quackity’s conversation with Fundy if you want to see that done really well). And lastly emphasise that you’re the only one who can give them what they want.

“You know what has substance Tommy? Family. Blood” (what sparked back the canon sbi discourse)

“I haven’t- I don’t wanna make my mind now ‘cause it’s- it feels like-” “Tommy you need to make your mind now” (putting a ton of pressure onto Tommy, enough that Tommy is reminded of his time in prison)

“Tommy I love a challenge” (considering the context and the fact that this is in response to Tommy hesitating on who to join this is most definitely about him. Wilbur definitely still considers this, at least partially, part of his and Quackity’s game)

“If you pick Las Nevadas what am I gonna do? Man, what am I gonna do? I’d never hurt you. I’d never want anything bad for you Tommy” (mixing in a bit of guilt tripping with a bit of lies. Now, it’s probably not a lie that he wouldn’t want something bad for Tommy, but the thing about never hurting him? I mean, this stream is a proof of the cotrary)

“You can go with whatever you want, but just know what you’d do to me” (once again painting himself as the victim while guilt tripping Tommy)

“I put a lot of things to the side that I shouldn’t of. I prioritized the wrong things, I put revenge over humanity. I guess all I’m seeking right now is someone who’ll be honest with me and a place where I can feel safe”

Here it is, we got Tommy’s desire spelled out by him. This is what makes him so vulnerable to Wilbur’s manipulation, the fact that Wilbur knows how to pretend that he can offer this. Also the first part of this is another recognition of how unhealthy his mindset was while he was with Technoblade, which makes him saying that he betrayed Techno and feels guilty about that afterwards even more sad because he recognizes that being with Techno was not good for him but still bashes himself over leaving him even if he really didn’t have any other choice if he wanted to stay true to himself. It’s quite tragic and it’s once more a show of his self-loathing. 

“This can be a safe place for them [Techno and Tubbo]” (Wilbur is using the informations Tommy provided him in a moment of open vulnerability to manipulate him further)

Tommy then agrees to stay with Wilbur though he seems far from enthusiastic about it. He seems to believe Wilbur when he says he's gonna make a safe space for him and the people he cares about, but also seems hesitant to fully trust him.

“Big Q is gonna wish he never fucked with me” (still in regard to challenging Wilbur’s perceived ownership of Tommy)

The stream is far from over though. After that conversation between Wilbur and Tommy they start to build a stone penis over the lake and Wilbur and Quackity get in a very heated argument that leaves Tommy incredibly uncomfortable. The whole conversation consists in Wilbur and Quackity shouting at each other about things the other has done to Tommy (all traumatic for him) while Tommy makes himself smaller and shuts down. First Qauckity accuses Wilbur of emotionally manipulating Tommy (which is true), then Wilbur accuses Quackity of using the hotel against Tommy (which wasn’t actually true) and they keep going like that. 

“The one thing [the hotel] Tommy’s tried to do was a failure” (way to undermine achievements like putting Dream behind bars there... however to be exact this is a manipulation tactic known as “shaming” which consists in undermining the victim’s worth to foster feelings of inadequacy which makes them more vulnerable. It’s a tactic Wilbur has used quite often since Pogtopia)

“Great job Wilbur of doing to Tomminnit what you’ve done your entire fucking life” (Quackity does sound actually upset) 

“Don’t try to compare me to you Wilbur, me and you are not the same” (this does align to Quackity’s desire to not live in other people shadows any longer)

“Hey hey hey hey, don’t come near Tommy, don’t come near Tommy” “Will, Will, hey hey, let me speak! This is about me so let me speak! I don’t know I-” “I just don’t want him to hurt you. I just don’t want him to hurt you” “I can fend for myself. You weren’t here for a long time. I thought, I thought you [Wilbur] were gonna make me feel a little bit safer, let me tell you now either of you-” “Fellas fellas” “No shut the fuck up! I didn’t feel- that didn’t make me feel- that was weird, I didn’t- don’t do that either of you” 

Now this is both Wilbur once again babying Tommy and treating him as if he’s not capable of taking care of himself (it could be done out of sincere care, but that doesn’t make it any less patronizing) and Tommy actually standing up for himself. Tommy made himself as little as possible during their confrontation and didn’t utter a word and now he finally got a bit of confidence back to say that he didn’t like that and both of them still tried to interrupt him. And Wilbur immediately went to say that he won’t do it again, but Quackity will as if he didn’t listen to a word Tommy just said. That said after that Quackity does apologize to Tommy specifically (though how sincere that was is debatable and Wilbur also accepts the apology as well even if it wasn’t directed at him) and invites the both of them to have a tour of Las Nevadas. Tommy wanted to refuse the tour because he was already visibly overwhelmed, but Wilbur ignores him and proceeds to accept anyway. 

“Quackity I wanna say from here on, as much as we may have our disagreements here man I- we gotta leave Tommy out of this” (they don’t)

“Tommy I’ll take it back, I’m fine with you working here and still being, you know, as long as you still hang out with me and don’t leave me on my own I have no problems with you working here man” (except they both already put an incredible amount of pressure on him and Will in partucular already made him feel guilty for even considering sort of leaving him)

“At the end of the day it’s okay Tommy, you make your own decisions, but let me keep showing you around the TommyInnit res- uh, I mean the restourant” (very sneaky there Quackity. Naming things creates attachment btw) 

Btw, Quackity and Wilbur are still very tense, but they both put their differences aside in a split second to get Tommy away from the strip club, which honestly is just funny. Also once again Wilbur goes before Tommy inside the casino in case it’s dangerous.

They then gamble for a bit and Tommy bets Linda away and looses it. They then go up in the white tower. 

“This would be such a good point to just jump off and just end it. Woah” “no no no Tommy get down!” “Tommy get down from the rail” (casual reminder that Tommy is still extremely suicidal, though at least this time there was someone there to get him down)

Quackity and Wilbur have a small conversation while Tommy is still checking out the view which mostly consist in Quackity trying to find out more about the Revival Book (while feigning complete ignorance about it). 

Meanwhile while dissociating Tommy puts down some water to the side of the tower and then jumps in it while taking it away (therefore technically jumipng off, but not dying because his fall was slowed down). Quackity notices and immediately panics, while Wilbur places some water down for him so he can get back up. 

“Tommy come here, I’ve got you, I’ve always got you” (both helping and emphasizing his wish for Tommy to depend on him as much as he does on Tommy)

After that they talk for a while and Quackity brings up the conversation that he had with Wilbur which is the moment Wilbur realizes that the “You were right” in the book was referring to the pre-Pogtopia him. Also Wilbur talks about the things he’s lost (years of his life and people are the two things he mentioned). 

“There’s lots of people I wish I could see. Like I wish I could just tell them ‘I’m alive’ and apologize and also thank them” (I do think he’s sincere, but it does make me a bit sad that Tommy was not in the list of people who deserved an apology in Wilbur’s mind)

After that Quackity seems to take an interest in Wilbur’s plans specifically, but, before he can investigate further, Tommy gives him his own answer and declines his offer of manning the restaurant saying that that life is not for him, it’s too relaxed (Wilbur's reaction to it is also worth notice). 

“I don’t wanna run a food stand. Wilbur gets things done” (sorry to Tommy here, but, genuinely, when’s the last time Wilbur got something done without Dream’s or Tommy’s help?)

After this they get back on the topic of the Revive Book and Wilbur reveals that Dream is the one who brought him back. He also admits that he wants to thank Dream for saving him and describes him as his “hero” again. Quackity himself reveals that he has been visiting Dream.

“Oh who cares about Ghostbur?” “Don’t fucking say- don’t- he killed Ghostbur” (once again Tommy should not be here for this conversation considering how triggering the subject is for him)

“I can’t believe- you’re like a misinformed parent, you’re just wrong” (Tommy both pointing out that Wilbur is wrong and admitting that that’s due to a lack of information)

“The prison is not just this thing, this dandelion. No no no, the prison-” “How are you back then Tommy? If you died” “Dream killed me to prove a point. That he- (continues under) he’s omnipotent, he’s got this God complex” “Quackity I need to get in there”

Once again not letting Tommy speak even if Wilbur himself asked the question, though this time it may be because if he listened to Tommy’s story and his experience with Dream he would realize that there are some incongruences between the version of Dream he created in his mind and the real Dream. Between his hero and Tommy’s abuser who beat him to death to prove a point. This split in his mind in how he views Dream was already evident in the last stream with him fip flopping between wanting him dead or not. 

“Tommy, Tommy, I’m not gonna talk shit about them [Sam] without their presence here alright?” (Quackity being protective of his own business patners)

Also Tommy manages to deduce on his own what Quackity has been doing to Dream, though he gets to the conclusion with the wrong clues. Either way after finding out how to visit the prison Wilbur leaves in a hurry telling Tommy to go with him as well.

“I’m a big boy Tommy, I’m a big boy, I’ll be fine” “Wilbur I’m a big man, but I was not fine” (Tommy tries to explain Dream’s danger to Wilbur by making himself vulnerable again, but it doesn’t work as Wilbur doesn’t listen)

Afterwards Wilbur tells Tommy that he is going to the prison and ignores any of Tommy’s concerns on the matter.

“Tommy listen, I didn’t wanna spring things on you because I’m really trying not to be a shit person to you Tommy, right? I’m really really trying. And it’s easy, it’s easy not to be a shit person to you, right? Because we got people like Quackity over there who are just- you know he said it best I’m not gonna talk shit about him behind his back"

If he’s not trying to be a sh*t person to Tommy he is failing miserably. Truly this whole stream he either ignored him, talked over him, talked about incredibly triggering stuff in front of him or tried manipulating him. This was all their interactions summarized. Pettiness aside though, he still badmouths Quackity by handing Tommy the book and telling him that Quackity agreed with the “old Wilbur” (not specifying that he is referring to pre-Pogtopia Wilbur and that he himself still agrees with the “old him”) to villainize him. He also acts like Tommy is being unreasonable for not wanting him to go, despite having died there and having seen Ghostbur die there. Wilbur does say that he won’t go if Tommy really doesn’t want him to, but he leaves telling him they’ll talk about it again right after Tommy tells him this: 

“I don’t think you should do that, he’s more powerful then you think you are”

Left on his own Tommy reminisces of when he went to the prison looking for closure as well. He then borrows an ender chest from Quackity for his and Wilbur’s little stone shack and then goes to the middle of the lake to listen to cat. 

[kumaradosha]

I’m seeing a whole lot of bad takes and ignorance of past/present content and lack of critical thinking or ability to understand character motives regarding this most recent Dream SMP lore. So please, allow me to lay down some facts, some sense, and also some speculation of my own. This’ll be really rambly, because I’m tired, and I want to say a lot. Rewatching ALL the streaming perspectives now, my thoughts start here:

Considering Sam doesn’t want to enter the cell to dirty his hands himself, he clearly has some aversion or moral qualms about torturing prisoners, but Quackity has convinced him to go along with it. Quackity spends a lot of time before he goes into the cell repeatedly making sure Sam won’t have a change of heart and intervene, which indicates Sam probably has some misgivings. Quackity feels he has to remind Sam that this is for the greater good and to stand back and let him do his thing and that this will probably be the last time. These are all reassurances and instructions that would not be necessary if Sam were known to be totally cool with it all already.

Sam believes the stringent measures Dream put in place for the prison are just desserts for him to suffer, but Techno doesn’t deserve the same cruelty, because Techno didn’t enact those rules. And that’s why Techno gets baked potatoes from Sam, and Dream doesn’t. Sam clearly believes this harsh treatment is justified, because Dream was going to do it to someone else. He thinks he’s being just. Of course, allowing the torture, though not his idea and not really comfortable to him, was still crossing a line, considering physical torture was not something Dream did to his victims (and besides, there’s the argument that not everything a criminal has done is morally correct to be done to the prisoner regardless). That, he was convinced, was for the greater good, to get the revive book. Quackity manipulated him; he thinks he’s doing what’s best, but no, of course that doesn’t make him right or his hands clean.

Sam wanted the dog dead because it’s a security risk, especially with Quackity entering the cell with two other people. He killed it later for the exact same reason. Y’all act like nobody else has ever killed an animal in Minecraft RP; get it together. Is Sapnap also evil? Tommy? He killed his own cat. Random animals are not treated with the gravity you guys are giving them; it makes no sense to call out this one time.

When Techno raised the point that he would be fine if Quackity killed him, because Dream could just bring him back, Dream countered with his warning that Techno doesn’t want to experience death, judging by how messed up it made Tommy. What motive would he have to argue that, aside from actually caring about Techno’s well-being? If Dream was only thinking of himself, he would benefit from Techno being willing to die and be brought back to life by him, giving him an easy reason not to give the resurrection knowledge to Quackity. I honestly can’t think of a reason he would argue other than the fact that he doesn’t want Techno to die even temporarily or experience death--that he cares. Interesting...

Dream hiding in the escape tunnel to make it look like he disappeared too was 5,000 IQ, but he didn’t do it just to be silly or smart. Quackity literally threatened to kill Dream when he came back. Dream HAD to pretend to disappear, because he was legitimately in fear for his life. You saw how terrified he was when Sam found him, how he just immediately begged him not to tell Quackity. He was afraid Quackity would come back and kill him before Techno managed to come back and break him out. He believed that would be his fate and had to make a last ditch attempt to avoid that outcome.

Phil confirmed on stream that the blueprints Techno was led to via coordinates are for the prison. Not Tubbo’s missing nuke, like I’ve seen speculated.

“Steve is your polar bear” was written on stream during the “Prison Podcast” Technoblade lore. This is not a mystery. Dream said he wrote it down when Techno started talking about Steve rescuing them.

If Sam doesn’t approve of Quackity killing Dream, why doesn’t he just tell Quackity Dream is still in the prison but not allow Quackity in anymore? Quackity needs Sam to lead him inside, to let him in. Since when did he have any power against Sam to force him to let him in? I don’t understand why Sam has to keep it a secret just to keep Dream alive. Just don’t let Quackity into the prison anymore. Clearly it was a bad idea, since all these security risks happened while Quackity was getting a free pass to not follow the rules of the prison.

Dream casually walking in the way of Sam’s pickaxe to disrupt his swing once Sam almost had the bell broken gets me every time.

The rapport between c!Dream and c!Sam in prison fascinates me. Clearly Dream is much bolder with Sam than Quackity and still seems to trust his sense of duty to a degree. Sam is also more malleable, convinceable, his fatal flaw being actually listening and talking to Dream, even after it clearly messes with him psychologically. He let Quackity manipulate him, too, and he compromises too much. That might seem weird to say, considering the harsh conditions he has Dream in, but. He does give in to a few things.

I’m wondering if Dream wanted to go to the courtyard hoping it was less secure and easier for Techno to break him out of.

Sam has no reason to lie and gaslight about Dream being the one to suggest raw potatoes and sealing up the courtyard. That’s not in his character to do. So clearly Dream suggested these things. In fact, we have proof. Search for the clip of Dream revealing a teaser for future lore, with him telling Sam the hole in the courtyard ceiling for the light is a security flaw. He straight up says that. Update yourselves. Furthermore, are the recordings we have of Dream suggesting nicer features for the prison even lore? Are they in-character, or was it cc!Dream and Sam making plans? I’m genuinely asking, because I don’t remember/am not sure. In any case, clearly the plans changed at some point, and they were Dream’s idea.

Dream said he didn’t realize how bad it was until after he experienced it. This could very well be a lie. However, it could also be a wake-up call. We just don’t know. Dream clearly possesses low empathy, and every person at some point doesn’t fully realize how poorly another being can feel in a bad situation. Sometimes it actually does take experiencing it yourself to realize how it feels. People can do cruel things to others before the empathy fully clicks. It is possible that Dream really does only now understand how harsh his plans were. Unfortunately, it’s just as likely he doesn’t care and is pretending to, because he has a history of acting, lying, and manipulating. We just do not know, and I think that’s part of the fun, the speculation. Note that none of this is excusing what he’s done; that bores me. I just like understanding characters and their psychology and motives.

Sam is ASKING if Dream had this prison built for Tommy. He is suspicious that that is the case. Dream did not TELL him this, because OBVIOUSLY Sam would have absolutely nothing to do with building a prison he knew Dream meant for Tommy. So no, Sam thought it was for something else. And guess what? It was. Back during the disc war finale stream, Dream told Tommy and Tubbo that the prison was originally intended for someone else (maybe multiple people, the number was not specified), but that he changed his mind and would now put Tommy in it (ha ha punny). Tubbo asked who it was originally intended for, and Dream wouldn’t tell him, preferred to keep it a mystery. Dream had zero reason to say this if it weren’t true. In fact, it would have been more impactful to pretend (or admit) he intended it for Tommy all along. Think of the horror, or even the betrayal finding out Sam, his friend, helped make it. So yes, there is every indication that it is the truth--Dream meant the prison for someone else at first.

And Dream didn’t argue with Sam’s accusations, because why WOULD he? If he didn’t tell Tubbo who it was for, he wouldn’t tell Sam now. Plus, he wouldn’t want to argue with Sam, make him more heated and less sympathetic, and risk him deciding to tell Quackity Dream was there after all. Dream has no reason to speak up. Let Sam think what he wants. Dream’s silence does not mean confirmation. This is not a new thing with him. He keeps things mysterious, and there is a lot about his planning and mindset he does not disclose.

Now, whether Dream made the prison harsher before or after he decided he wanted Tommy in it is up for speculation. We don’t know that timeline.

Anyway, Sam’s speech about Dream getting what he deserves is really delicious. All these people out here mocking Dream fans for Dream still being in prison (like Techno’s not imminently coming to break him out, hello?) and being told off by Sam, yet plenty of us are enjoying it, too, like?? Bruh, what kind of Mary-Sue-touting asshole likes characters who are flawless who never go through strife? Can’t be me. I love watching my favs through triumph AND despair, so this is all just a win for me, thanks.

It is possible to sympathize with a bastard who is highly flawed and wrong AND to understand his motivations without justifying his actions AND to realize he deserves punishment (though to what degree I don’t care to argue). All the black and white morality and taking one extreme stance of “this character is perfect!” OR “this character is wholly evil and only ever does things to be sadistic!” and polarizing the community is cringe, yo. You need to calm down. Enjoy the ride or like...get off?

Anyway, Dream is my favorite, Techno is my second favorite, I adore Sam, I really enjoy Quackity, and the SMP wouldn’t be the same without Tommy. So much love for all of this creative work and its creators. I’m having a blast.

[zend-pixie]

Who took the nuke?

So, Tubbo’s nuclear warhead was stolen recently. That’s bad, very bad - especially since Tubbo confirmed that it can be manually set off, without the need of dual keycards.

And though it may seem like the answer is clear, it isn’t??? There’s a couple possible people here. And I wanna talk about those possibilities today.

1) Ranboo - The Obvious Answer

So for starters, we have the answer everyone’s expecting - Ranboo, in his enderwalk state, stealing the nuke. This seems really plausible - further proved by the fact that the doors were canonically locked the entire time. Who else would be able to seamlessly teleport in and out? Who can only teleport in a certain state, and not their awake one?

So, our scenario here looks like this: Ranboo got into his enderwalk state, teleported past the security (the doors and Mr Buttons??), took the nuke, teleported out, most likely hid it somewhere, and woke up again. But, this is the scenario everyone is expecting - and the Dream SMP has a habit of bending our expectations quite a lot. I mean, how fun is a series when you know the answer to every mystery?

Although, on the other hand, we all expected Wilbur to be Pogtopia’s traitor - which is why we immediately ruled him out. And guess who ended up being the traitor, in the end?

2) Ghostbur/Revivebur - The Fun Answer

Now, our second probability is Wilbur. The reason I put a slash there for Ghostbur is because - well, you know all those theories that Wilbur is already back, but disguised as/in the body of Ghostbur? Yeah. So either that, or Dream already brought Wilbur back and he respawned outside the prison.

This is the answer people are expecting as well, but this one isn’t definite - it depends entirely on the fact whether or not Wilbur is still dead, and if not, if he’s outside the prison. If the answer is “no” to any of these, our man is immediately ruled out.

We know how much Wilbur likes his explosions at this point - and the prospect of the nuke being a “dead man’s switch”, as Tubbo referred to it, might be that much more convincing to him sadly. Whether or not Wilbur will actually end up working with Dream, if he goes out again, it will be with a big bang once more - literal or not. And on a meta note, with the 1.17 update coming along... the server getting obliterated for good sounds all to likely for us to be comfortable here.

3) Tommy - The Angsty Answer

Listen - I know Tommy may seem like the last person who would willingly blow something up after all the explosion trauma, but hear me out.

Now, there’s two options here:

A) Tommy’s secretly working with Wilbur.

B) Tommy is doing this in secret to have a definite last-resort of taking down Dream and Wilbur.

For Theory A - there’s been many speculations going around that Tommy is hiding something from us. And they don’t stem from empty paranoia, per say - Tommy really has been acting suspicious ever since he left the Afterlife.

He acts scared of Wilbur, despite not seeming too frightened in the Afterlife with him (from the small glimpse we got, at least)? His building skills have improved all of a sudden (I’m choosing to make that canon, hush)? Not to mention, he has access to a nuke keycard.

Now, I know he got that card by accident in a non-canon bit with Jack but.. why is it still in his enderchest, then? Tommy has since long proved that that place is reserved mainly for important attachments or other lore-heavy things - he even moved his 23 diamond blocks to a completely different location recently. He has no reason to keep it in his enderchest rather than his regular chest, unless he needed it.

So here’s our scenario - Tommy died, spent some time with Wilbur in the Afterlife. But rather than just “playing solitaire for months”, they planned something out (I mean come on, you can’t tell me that Wilbur spent 9 years in the Afterlife and seems like some kind of entity rather than a human being, knowing exactly when the universe ends, and Tommy spent multiple months there and is completely the same). Tommy, knowing Dream’s manipulation tactics by heart at this point (ouch.), used a little reverse psychology on him - begging not to have Wilbur come back is like a sign-up sheet to Dream doing the exact opposite like the petty bitch he is. Tommy is doing something in secret with Wilbur here - most likely against Dream, but we don’t know if it’s for or against the rest of the server as well. This can either be disproved or further proved by the fact that Tommy acts afraid of Wilbur around other people as well. What makes this theory exciting is that cc!Tommy pretty much never kept something in the dark from us about his character. We always knew what was happening with Tommy, we always knew what he felt. But it seems as though ever since we weren’t let in on the secret that is what truly happened in the Afterlife, we’ve been kept in the dark a bit more. And it’s so interesting because we’re not used to it. And the less you expect, the scarier it becomes.

Now, there’s also Theory B here - that Tommy wasn’t lying to anyone about what he felt, and genuinely wants to take down Dream and (possibly) Wilbur. That he stole the nuke in secret, as a last-resort - without telling either of his friends, knowing they’d worry.

This one is more angsty out of the two - the first implies a possible crime boys villain duo, and the second - a broken child, ready to sacrifice himself once again for the safety of his friends.

Theory B can proved a couple ways as well - mainly by disproving Theory A. We could always say that the glimpse of the Afterlife that we got didn’t seem angsty because it was only that - a glimpse. We don’t know the full extent of what they talked about. According to Glatt, Tommy (VoidInnit or GhostInnit) seemed speechlessly terrified all the time for a while - only being able to stammer out that Dream murdered him. That’s enough proof that we don’t have all the information here, either.

Another thing is that Tommy could’ve simply not been lying. He seemed genuinely afraid of taking damage and Wilbur coming back. Now, you could say that he’s just good at acting but... well. We don’t know if c!Tommy has the same skillset as cc!Tommy, here.

Though, like I said - this possibility has sad implications. Tommy taking the nuke in secret means that he might be planning to use it on Dream and/or WIlbur - and as Tubbo said, the only way to do that without a keycard is manual detonation. Which means Tommy would have to go down with them. It would explain why he wouldn’t want to tell either Tubbo or Ranboo - they care about him and seemed pretty protective after he came back. They’d obviously disapprove of the idea immediately - perhaps even making extra sure Tommy had zero access to the nukes, just in case.

We know how, sadly, suicidal Tommy got in the series. We know how he’d be willing to use his own life as a bargaining chip if it only meant that the people he cares about are safe. I know he got severely thanatophobic after his final death but.. we don’t know if it still counts for self-sacrifices.

And the idea of Tommy going down with his enemies, despite everything, just so his friends can still live their lives happily and without fear... it’s a sad end, but I feel as though it’s fitting.

Although.. Tommy does have a nuke keycard as I said... And we don’t know how many lives he has now - it may be more than one, like how Jack got all 3 back. Maybe he’ll be fine. Perhaps we’ll get dramatically jebaited, see Tubbo and Ranboo cry out in anguish, only for Tommy to come out of the corner with a “hey guys what’d I miss why are you crying”

I’d love to hear your theories, too! If you have anyone who might be likely here to take the nuke as well, tell me why! I’d die to know what you guys think :D

[defectfile1wav]

NOOO THE NEWEST COOLEST QUACKITY LORE THREW OFF THE HUMAN SLIMESCILE PREDICTION!!

In other news-

I want some of ur opinions on these points I’ve just- consumed from the lore like a slime.

Quackity is still a shapeshifter- but strictly for making examples and jokes- ((and I love his quote when he was dream- “hope I don’t end up in prison or I’ll get what I FUCKING DESERVE” ))

Quackity I also feel like now has just had an entire personality change- I think— he’s now rlly quiet and kept to himself- lil introvert in front of people like foolish and Fundy with his lil books. But in front of everybody else he’s just a fake business guy. Who’s just uncaring and will run his casino until it gets conquered- by the syndicate? Which I don’t think it will happen Bc quackity is a business- not a country anymore.

I think purpled is gonna have- a regret or redemption arc-

I think slime will definitely come back- maybe live in Quackitys machines so the house will always win.

I HOPE MEXICAN DREAM GETS INVOLVED-

And finally- I cannot wait for technos stream when it happens. Who knows what it could or will tie together- and I’m hearing speculation Michaelmcchill will be involved. And IM READY!

Okay then!

- I didn't know about Quackity hc of being a Shapeshifter, I see him more of a very good imitator, taking a lot of care in other persons being able to imitate they really well, to tone to physical tics. (Also the idea of Quackity carrying around dumb masks to imitate persons its a little bit funny. Not even good masks, just dumb ones, and when we see change his skin is more the person Pov's being able to visualize the person who Quackity is imitating.)

-People change, but not totally, we keep certain ticks and "manias". He only knows how to present himself better, how to sell himself to others. When to cry, when to smile. He's a bussiness man, he needs to look like a good man while being a motherfucker. He only build walls, he build masks to protect himself. I don't blame him. (jobs change people, they do. I'm talking by a person who knows a lot of people in law making, mostly people who end up working in a court room they end up arguing like if they we're in a court room, even outside of it. Quackity it's a bussiness man, he uses the defenses he learn in the job in his personal life, its normal.) Also, Quackity still is a very loving and caring person. He still has hope in himself, he's a man. He's Quackity. His face is new, and so his clothes, and cards, but it still snows in the desert.

-Also, Las Nevadas being more a bussiness than a country... It's a nation. It is, but its... It's like a dead one. A city build more to have people in and out quickly, not a city to stay. Not a house. Not at less now. Its Las Vegas really, who lives in Las Vegas? Who stays in a city that eats up to trow you out later? The lights, the fountain don't scream home, they scream fake riches, dreams, they embrace your sins. It's not a wall to protect you from the cold, it's a revolving door.

- I don't really know about the Alien to talk about him, but he seem a little bit guilty, or angry at less. He needs his own time. Give him some.

- Yes Slime will come back, but I don't know if he will find his way back to Quackity or others. Charlie is such a good storyteller that I can only expect the unknown. Good, this is the perfect moment to have a Charlie "things are going to get weird" arc. (I'm already afraid thinking about it--)

- I don't see how Mexican Dream would end up in las Nevadas? He doesn't have nothing lose there, if I remeber? He just wants his life back, he just wants it. With Dream out, maybe he will come back to try to protect Tommy again, who knows.

- AND, I WASN'T READY FOR THOSE STREAMS, OH MY BRAIN, MY BEAN, MY BEAN.

[shutupanakin]

Wasting Your Time ch. 5

“Wh— what?” Tommy choked out, his voice hoarse from the lack of use all day.

The man rolled his eyes, as if he didn’t just ask a completely impolite question. “I said, do you have any booze?”

Tommy sat still. He reached into his jacket pocket, his hand finding only a plastic pen. Could he stab this man with a plastic pen?

Tommy pulled said piece of plastic out, visibly holding it up. “I have a pen.” Something about the bemused look on the man's face made Tommy click it, and again, repeatedly.

click click click click click click click click—

...

or; Tommy planned on dying. He meets Wilbur instead.

first chapter here and crossposted here

Tommy had made sure he had tied his shoelaces, this time.

Tommy had the time to make sure that his shoelaces were tied, because he wasn’t in a rush to get to the station compared to last week. The thought caused ghost pains to flare up in his knee, but he knew it had stopped aching days ago. The scrapes in his hands faded with them.

Not quick enough though, because Sam had noticed. He only noticed when no was pulling at the thread in his jacket, trying to explain why he wanted to change his major.

“ I— I don’t think I like architecture,” Tommy admitted, his voice tight.

Sam was tired; Tommy could see it in the way his eyes drooped. Tommy felt bad, keeping him up. Sam needed his rest. He had an early shift i. This could wait, Tommy decided. He wouldn’t bother Sam with his nonsense, not tonight. That wasn’t fair of Tommy.

“Sor—sorry,” Tommy said, pushing his chair back. “You can go to bed, I’ll—”

Tommy nearly jumped out of his skin at Sam grabbing his wrist, quickly letting go at Tommy’s nervous yelp“Sorry,” Sam quickly apologized. Tommy avoided his eyes. “What happened to your hands?”

Tommy's eyes fell down to his palms— he didn’t think Sam would have noticed. “I fell,” Tommy mumbled, sitting back in his seat at the unsteady kitchen table.

“You don’t like architecture?” Sam asked, Tommy nodding vigorously. Not liking it was a severe understatement. Tommy would say that he was miserable— miserable enough to go to the tube station once a week in the middle of the night to talk with a man he would argue knew more about him than Sam.

Tommy wouldn’t tell him that though. He wouldn't tell him about Wilbur.

“I want— I want to change it,” Tommy said finally. “we don’t have to right now of course,” Tommy added. “I don’t want to stress you out or, or—”

“Tommy,” Sam stopped him. His voice was incredibly soft. “It’s fine.”

Tommy was now in the process of switching from architecture to film and production; if Sam didn’t like it, he didn’t show it. He was the utmost supportive, frustratingly so to Tommy. Tommy had expected to be yelled at, to be told off.

He almost wanted to be told off, because that would mean that he was right, and he would have felt less guilty for waiting this long and to assume Sam would pressure him into continuing something he had no passion for.

The robotic voice of the intercom snapped Tommy out of his mind, announcing the incoming train. He wasn’t alone on the platform this time. There was a woman who stood several meters away. Tommy had politely nodded at her when he arrived. She nodded in response.

When it arrived, the metallic doors slid open, and Tommy booked it to the back. There was no one, no man sitting back here this time. Just Tommy, and eventually Wilbur. The woman sat in the middle, the back of her head facing him.

Tommy scrolled through his phone— he wanted to check if Tubbo or Ranboo had texted him yet. They had stopped asking him to get on-call during the night on Tuesday, used to being turned down. Only Tubbo had asked him what he had gotten up to when Tommy was going to see Wilbur. Tommy, fortunately, did not have to come up with an excuse because Ranboo scolded him for prying.

Tommy allowed himself to wonder if Wilbur’s friends had wondered what he was doing; though that burned out because from the way the man talked it didn’t sound like he had any friends.

He had a brother, Tommy knew that. He had some sort of past with Jack, which got him banned from his shop. Tommy recalled him briefly describing a sweater buddy and his gambling buddy, but it didn’t sound like either of them were in his life.

Tommy was pretty sure he hadn’t even given him their names. That was… startling, Tommy realized. Just how little Tommy actually knew about Wilbur. It was even more startling that Tommy wasn’t sure if he wanted to know more, either. Wilbur existed out of their friendship, out of the hours in the past month they had spent together— the image was difficult to imagine.

But that was ridiculous because Wilbur existed and he had a life outside of Tommy; it was selfish to think otherwise.

“You are thinking too hard,” Like a knife through butter, Wilbur’s voice cut through Tommy’s thoughts. Tommy’s head shot up, pocketing his phone. Tommy scooted over a bit so Wilbur would have more room.

They had stopped. With a quick scan, Tommy can guess that Wilbur got on alone. The woman was still there. “How could you tell?”

Wilbur pointed at his forehead. “I can see a vein.” Tommy scoffed, slapping the man’s hand away as Wilbur laughed. “How did it go with Sam?” Wilbur asked in between giggles.

“Got a new major!” Tommy beamed, his smile wide. “Bye-bye architect. Sam took it better than expected.”

“That is good!” Wilbur celebrated. “Do you know when you start your new classes?”

“No,” Tommy shook his head. “We are still in the process of switching. It’s dropped now though.”

Wilbur frowned, his eyebrows turning down in thought. “Why did it look like you were about to pop a vein then?”

Oh , Tommy thinks. He could lie— Wilbur would catch it. Wilbur would know. Wilbur would push.

“I was thinking about you, honestly,” Tommy confessed.

They stopped. A trio of young adults got on.

“Oh,”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

Tommy sighed. “I was just thinking—”

“I could tell.” Wilbur hummed.

“Fuck off— I was just thinking…” Tommy trailed. “I hardly know anything about you, yeah? You know my friend’s names and about Sam and what I’m studying in college and I…” Tommy stopped, realizing that he was rambling. “Sorry.” “You should stop doing that,” Wilbur said, Tommy furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

“Stop what?”

“Apologizing. You do it a lot. You do not owe everyone an apology for speaking, Tommy.” Wilbur explained.

Tommy was slack-jawed. He wouldn’t say that he had a problem . “It’s courtesy.”

“Nothing about you is courteous.”

“You are avoiding telling me about yourself, Wilbur. You can’t get out of this by trying to psychoanalyze me.” Tommy huffed. “No, no! I’m dancing through your mind games this time, big dubs. I’m going to be the one doing the mind gaming.”

“The mind gaming?”

Tommy nodded. “You are going to be so mind gamed.”

“Okay,” Wilbur laughed. “Mind game me.”

“What’s your brother's name?”

“Techno,” Wilbur answered simply.

Tommy scoffed. “There is no way that’s his name. What’s his real name?”

“Technoblade.”

“That’s even worse.” Tommy groaned. Wilbur was bullshitting him. He had to be. “You’re lying to me.”

“I would not lie to you,” Wilbur stated. Tommy’s lips turned down in a frown.

“You wouldn’t?” “Never.” They stopped. The woman got off.

“What’s he like?” Wilbur was silent, his forehead creasing. “A real nerd. He is really deep into mythology, and that type of stuff. I played guitar, he did violin. I tried to get into parties, Techno was worried about his fucking— fencing finals.” Wilbur gestures.

“He sounds cool,” Tommy said. Wilbur made a noise that sounded of exasperation.

“He is a hardass.”

A shocked laugh escaped Tommy’s mouth, dissolving into a fake cover-up cough. “Is it because his name is Technoblade?” Tommy wasn’t looking at Wilbur, but he could feel the man’s eyes roll. “Are you not going to let that go?” “Ah big man, I’m never letting that go. You’re related to someone called Technoblade.” Tommy teased, knowing that he was pushing it, leering at him. He knew Wilbur could snap at him in annoyance and shut down his next question— Tommy had faith that he wouldn’t though.

“He is my twin actually.”

Tommy choked. “There’s more than one of you?”

“No, no,” Wilbur interjected. “There is just one of me, I am afraid.”

“Unfortunately.” Tommy agreed, mockery lacing his voice. “Do you like him?”

“Course?” Wilbur creased his brows. “Just because we are different does not mean we do not love each other.”

They stopped. The group got off— two men took their place.

Tommy thought of Sam, and quickly shut that thought out. He slammed the door and swallowed the key; this wasn’t about Tommy, this wasn’t about Sam.

“And he likes you?”

“He does.” Wilbur mused. “I think the word you are looking for is love , Tommy.”

Tommy groaned in disgust. “Don’t say it.” He whined.

“ Love, love, love —” Wilbur taunted in a sing-song voice that made Tommy want to get off at the next stop.

“Stop— stop that!” Tommy hissed. “And you call me a child!” Wilbur made an amused sound. “You are a child.” “Why do you talk like that?” Tommy pressed, now agitated.

“Like what?” Wilbur’s eyes blew open.

“Like— that. You are . Say you’re.”

Wilburs face grew into a cheeky grin, and Tommy wanted to punch him. “ You’re a child.

“I...I— and you’re a fucking old man!”

“I am twenty-four!” Wilbur cried.

“That’s ancient,” Tommy replied. “that’s at least two decades.”

“Two decades—” Wilbur repeated, breaking off into a laugh. The train stopped and Wilbur got up, still shaking with laughter. “It wasn’t that funny,” Tommy commented, trailing the man out of the sliding metal doors.

“I thought it was hilarious.”

“Are you making fun of me?”

“Absolutely not,” Wilbur denied. “You should do standup.”

They passed a woman on the stairs on their way out; Tommy ignoring the disgusted look she passed in his direction.

“Do people just naturally dislike you?” Tommy asked, his mind drifting back to the faceless strangers that had the misfortune of sharing the tube with Tommy and Wilbur. “I think they are looking at you,” Wilbur speculated.

“Wha... ? ” Tommy trailed. “ Pft , nah. People love me. Especially women you know.”

“Somehow I doubt that.”

Tommy blew air out of his nose in frustration. They were approaching the flickering Jack of All Trades sign. “I’m going to prove you wrong— so wrong. You’re gonna beg for my forgiveness when you see all the numbers I’m drowning in.”

Wilbur looked at the flickering sign. The A in Jack had gone completely out. “I hope you understand that Manifold doesn’t count.”

Tommy didn’t dignify Wilbur with a response, entering the shop instead. The bell dinged over his head.

Tommy blinked.

There was a woman at the counter.

Why does this keep happening to him?

Tommy knew that realistically, he couldn’t be Jack’s only customer. That’s not how you keep a business open; Tommy understood that. Tommy was just— Tommy had gone in here every Tuesday night, between eleven pm and twelve am, and it was empty besides himself and Jack.

“Heya Tommy!” Jack peaked over the woman, waving him over. “I was just wonderin’ when you’d show up. Telling Niki about ya.”

Oh, so this was just Jack’s friend. Thank god. Tommy couldn’t stop himself from smiling. Jack was waiting for him. “I thought you had another customer. Was worried I had competition.” Tommy reached into the bowl, scanning the pins.

Jack looked at the pink-haired woman, who had been dubbed Niki. “He’s joking. I get plenty of customers.”

“I believe you, Jack.” Tommy caught her eyes, pulling out a pin with a music disc printed on it. The upturn of the corner of her mouth and her little head shake told Tommy otherwise

“I don’t,” Tommy deadpanned, placing the pin and the pounds on the counter. “Me and my pins keep this place alive, you know.”

“That is entirely untruthful.”

Tommy hummed. “You’re in denial. It’s the first stage of grief. It’s okay, Jack. We’re here for you.” Tommy looked at Niki. “Well, she is. I got a train to catch and a friend to annoy. See you next week!”

“Nice meeting you Tommy!” Niki said, Tommy giving her a small wave before exiting the shop.

Tommy immediately showed Wilbur the pin. “A vinyl,” Wilbur said with a hint of amusement.

Tommy scowled. “Music disc.”

“It is a vinyl.”

“Wrong, actually,” Tommy corrected, securing the pin into his jacket. “it’s a music disc.”

“It appears we are at a standoff,” Wilbur fiddled with his glasses, starting the walk back to the station.

“No, you are in a standoff with yourself. I am right.” Tommy insisted.

“You are definitely in a mood tonight,” Wilbur pointed, and Wilbur’s tone was light and joking and of course he didn’t mean anything bad by it but— the comment made Tommy’s feet stick to the ground. Was he?

Wilbur must’ve realized he wasn’t being followed, because moments later he turned to see Tommy’s state of immobility.

“That isn’t a bad thing,” Wilbur was quick to comfort.

Although his expression and voice were genuine, Tommy still faltered. Whatever faux confidence he had gained was gone now. The persona was gone, leaving just… him . He thought Wilbur was enjoying the bit. “I… I could stop if it’s annoying?”

Wilbur’s expression was soft. “Do not worry about it.” He said. “You having fun is not annoying,” Wilbur reassured. Tommy didn’t reply. He forced his feet to move instead, so he could keep up with Wilbur. “I am sorry,” Wilbur added.

Tommy allowed himself to slip back in. He was fine. “Looks like you’re the one apologizing now, big man.”

“Oh man, you got me there.”

“A straight-up hypocrite you are.” Tommy chimed. “Are you above your own morals, Wilbur?”

“I am, just a bit.”

“Elaborate on that?” “No, I do not think I will.”

“Fuck you.”

When they reached the station, Tommy realized they had narrowly avoided missing the train. Tommy let out several curses as the metal doors nearly shut on him. It wouldn’t have been the end of the world if they had missed it; Tommy and Wilbur would have had to wait fifteen minutes for the next one. It would have just been a disturbance in routine. Tommy hated those.

Tommy had blamed his near-breakdown for their tardiness, but also—

“Did you know Jack has friends ?” Tommy asked, sliding into his window seat. The train was more occupied than normal, so he kept his voice above a whisper for an attempt at politeness. There were only two other people in the back with them, a few seats ahead of Tommy and Wilbur’s.

“Was someone else in there?” Wilbur asked, Tommy nodding.

“I was absolutely scandalized, Will.”

Wilbur hummed in amusement. “Did you catch their name?”

“Oh— yeah . Uh. Niki.”

Wilbur was silent for a moment, and panic fluttered through Tommy’s chest, fearful that he might have brought up a possible bad memory, or one of the many someones Wilbur had pissed off that were just not in his life anymore,

Instead, Wilbur just smiled. “I know her,”

“Did you piss her off too?” Wilbur shook his head.

“She still visits me sometimes; you know Niki always brings the best flowers.” Wilbur thought. “Sometimes Jack comes with her, not in a bit though.”

“Wha’?” Tommy wondered. “I thought Jack hated you?”

“Where did you get that from?”

“You’re banned from his shop?” “Unrelated reasons,” Wilbur waved off.

Tommy squeezed the bridge of his nose. “Jesus fucking christ,” Tommy groaned. “you are a true enigma.”

They stopped; two women and a man got off.

“I know,” Wilbur says with a hint of pride.

“Mememememe—” Tommy mocked. “Am I the only one you terrorize?” “Nah. You are not the only one,” Wilbur said. “Techno is my neighbor. I terrorize him too.

Tommy massaged his temple. He didn’t know if Wilbur acting as he does with Tommy with others was concerning or reassuring. It certainly wasn’t jealousy that he was trying to massage out of his head. No, that would be ridiculous, Tommy decided. Wilbur had a brother. Wilbur had a family. Wilbur had other friends. Tommy was being ridiculous.

“I think I’m done mind gaming,” Tommy yawned.

“Are you?”

“Mm-hm.” Tommy hummed. “It’s exhausting. I don’t get how you can do it so easily.” “Practice,” Wilbur mused. “and I do not get tired.”

“Tubbo’s like that,” Tommy compares. Tubbo had dropped school completely at the beginning of September; his sleeping schedule suffered as a direct result. Tubbo would end up staying up for three days and proceeding to crash for thirty-seven hours.

They stopped, no one had left. But two men had entered, grabbing seats near the midsection.

“How is it going with them?” It took a moment for Tommy to realize just what Wilbur was asking Tommy. The troubles he had with Tubbo and Ranboo had been in the back of his mind.

Tommy had told them about dropping architecture before Sam, the night before Tommy had gone to him. Voiced his complaints and worries to them in a quiet voice in a discord call. Tubbo suggested being upfront and blunt about it, rip off the bandaid , Tubbo would say. Ranboo was Tubbo’s opposite, suggesting easing Sam into it.

“We’re— we’re good?” Tommy said. “They helped me, uh,” He pulled at the thread on his sleeve. “Helped me figure out how to approach Sam.”

A month ago, he wouldn’t have even bothered to go to them. Surely, they had better things to do together than listen to him complain .

A month ago, Tommy wouldn’t have bothered trying to switch. Sam was too busy, Sam was too good, and Tommy would’ve—

Tommy would have—

He didn’t, because of a now-forgotten deal with the man sitting next to him.

“You are thinking again,” Wilbur pointed out.

They stopped— Tommy sadly realized that the next one was Wilbur’s.

“I wish you would stop doing that,” Tommy whined, rolling his neck. “I know when I’m thinking, you don’t have to point it out.”

“What was it this time?”

“You,” Tommy admitted. “again.”

Wilbur’s expression was laced with amusement, his eyebrows raised above the circular glasses. “I am right here, you know.” A sigh climbed out of Tommy’s throat. “I know,” Tommy stressed. “I know that, obviously, you dickhead.” He grumbled.

“You want to share with the class then?” Wilbur joked, vaguely gesturing to the other passengers.

Tommy swallowed, tugging lightly at the thread. “I was thinking… I don’t know, man. About Sam, and Tubbo and Ranboo, and that shit and…” Tommy trailed. Wilbur was silent, nodding at Tommy to continue. Tommy mentally thanked him for the lack of smart remarks. “I wouldn’t have been able to talk to them— or, or Sam . I would have just…”

Tommy snapped his fingers. What was it? What was it? What was it—

Wilbur caught his stumbling. “Died?”

Tommy nodded, his throat tight. “Yeah— that. And I didn’t, yeah? I met you instead.”

“You are not alive just because of me, Tommy,” Wilbur said softly, and Tommy breathed in relief because Wilbur understood , he understood Tommy.

“But I am .” Tommy pressed desperately. “You… you—”

“I just gave you directions,” Wilbur interjected. “You are the one who mapped it out. You deserve that credit.”

Tommy shook his head in disagreement. “I could’ve gotten on another train, or you could have sat down somewhere else, and…”

“I think we still would have met,” Wilbur thought, and Tommy’s eyes moves from his palms to Wilbur’s face.

“You do?”

Wilbur hummed. “I do. Somehow, someway, in one way or another, we would have.”

Wilbur’s stop was coming up, the train was slowing. Tommy couldn’t help the frown that had formed on his face, because this conversation was far from over. Tommy hadn’t even built up to his thank you .

The train stopped, and Tommy gripped the plastic seat in front of him so tightly to keep himself from standing up and following Wilbur out.

“See you next week?” Tommy said instead. His knuckles were turning white.

“Of course,” Wilbur promised. “Remember what I said, okay?” Wilbur reminded.

“Yeah, yeah,” Tommy grumbled. “I think you’re wrong.” “I am never wrong,” Wilbur called confidently, and Wilbur was gone.

Tommy didn’t even get to say thank you , he thought bitterly. He would next week, whether Wilbur would accept it or not.

It was luck that Tommy had met him, not fate.

If Tommy had gotten on an earlier train, or a later one for that matter, he would’ve missed Wilbur. Tommy can picture Wilbur stumbling into the back of the near-empty train, and instead of greeting Tommy, he would sit down across from an empty seat.

Or maybe, Wilbur would go towards the front and start up a conversation with another stranger.

“You got any of that shit flavored candy?” Wilbur would ask the elder woman with the ruby-colored purse, because she had gotten on alone.

And Tommy would sit, alone. Working himself up to jumping. He wouldn’t have gotten off with Wilbur to go to Jack’s shop. Tommy’s jacket would be void of any pins, left blank.

Tommy ran his hands over the pins, rubbing his finger against the cool plastic of the new disc pin.

Wilbur started off as a distraction, someone who would merely delay the inevitable. A buffer. Then, he was a bet, a deal, testing to see who was correct and who was wrong. Tommy remembered the desperate feeling, wanting to prove to the smug bastard who looked like he knew everything that he could be wrong.

After that, he was just— Wilbur was just Tommy’s friend . He wasn’t a stranger or a delay, or a deal anymore.

Tommy had a million words and more on his tongue for Wilbur, but those will wait for now.

[jaceyneedsabetterusername]

Like I’m Gonna Lose You

Pairings: Arthur Shelby x Gender Neutral!Reader 

Request:  Hi!! Sorry to bother, but I had a silly idea and i would like to read it but i suck at writing 💀💀💀💀 i don't know if you can/want to do it, but maybe for the future... Arthur is married (new character) and a bad guy tries to take and hut her. Tommy (Arthur too of course, but my idea was more of a in-law relationship) does anything to get her back because he likes her for his brother and when he does gets her back she understands that Tommy will always be there for her and vice versa. 

Warning: Violence and cussing but what’s new?

Word Count: 3900

____________________________________________

Tommy had actually always liked you, which was odd for the Shelby, who never really seemed to like anyone that wasn’t blood (and even they were questionable sometimes). When you’d come to Tommy, desperate for a job, he was hesitant to accept. If it weren’t for the fact that he was desperate for someone that wasn’t a known Blinder to help him trick someone for a job, he wouldn’t have hired you. As luck would have it, though, he did need that special someone and you were hired. 

Nobody had ever expected you to work out as well as you did. You were helpful, kind, and uncharacteristically positive for a Peaky Blinder but you were also tough and scrappy, a fighter, who was just bad enough to fit in. You (usually) stayed out of the cocaine and you didn’t cause unnecessary trouble around town. 

You had caught Arthur’s eye immediately. Unrecognized beauty glowed when you walked into the room. When you weren’t out on jobs with Tommy, you were at the shop running the books. Arthur had made it a point to stop by and talk to you several times a day, adorably nervous instead of his stern facade. 

When you started dating, there was an immediate noticeable change in Arthur. He was happier, drinking a lot less, and much less violent. All of these were issues you were well aware of prior to accepting his offer for a night out, but that was just it. You knew. It was no surprise if he showed up at your home slobbering drunk or with a busted eyebrow from a brawl (that he most likely started). It wasn’t that you condoned the behavior but you knew what you were getting into and how to handle him, whereas other potential partners weren’t. What surprised everyone though, was when his drinking became more moderate and social instead of throwing pint after pint back for the sake of numbness. He snuck cocaine much less often (though there were a few nights where you did it together…). Arthur’s violent tendencies became subdued and his rage seemed to dissipate drastically. 

Arthur Shelby was a happy man for the first time in his life.

Tommy was hesitant about your relationship at first, only seeing it as causing issues for the company. You’d proved yourself to be quite the valuable asset to Shelby Company Ltd. and he was convinced that a fall-out between you and Arthur would mean the loss of your aid. But he quickly realized that you were just what his brother needed- just crazy enough to have a good time and not be too naggy or uptight but still pushing him to improve himself for his own well-being. He actually couldn’t have pictured a better person for his older brother to wed. 

So when Tommy picked up the phone to hear Arthur seething with rage, he was already ready to end someone’s life. 

“They got ‘em, Tommy. They fucking got them!” Arthur was furious and Tommy could almost see his face, red with anger. 

“Wait, wait, wait. Who got who, Arthur?” The Blinders weren’t at war with anyone at the moment so he felt oblivious as to what was going on but tense for a possible new enemy. 

Arthur gripped the letter that he found nailed into the front door of your home and ripped it from the thick nail, “Some bastards callin’ themselves the Green Snakes took Y/N. I came home and found the ‘ouse trashed and a letter nailed to the door. I’m gonna fucking kill them, Tommy.” 

“Wait at the house. I’ll be there in ten minutes.” Tommy slammed the phone down before rushing to his car, pocketing two guns on the way. 

Sure enough, ten minutes later, he was letting himself into yours and Arthur’s home. Arthur spun around and pointed a gun at the door as it opened, paranoid that the Green Snakes had returned but lowered the firearm when he saw it was Tommy. 

Like Arthur had described, the house was pretty trashed. The thin, long table off to the left right by the front door in the foyer was toppled over and the glass bowl that was on it was shattered in pieces across the ground. In the living room, a few wooden chairs were strewn around the room and the curtains had been torn down, now draped over the couch. But most notably, there was a blood stained knife on the ground as well as a trail of drops of blood leading out the door, and several smeared crimson handprints staining the cream-colored walls. It looked as if someone had been trying to hold onto the corners of the walls as someone dragged them away. 

Tommy turned to look at Arthur who was standing by the door. There was a moderate crack in dark green painted wood, split in the middle by an iron nail, at least three inches long. “Where’s the note?” Tommy asked, getting straight to the point. 

Arthur handed over the parchment to his brother. The paper was crinkled and torn at the top, most likely from Arthur crumbling it as it ripped it off the door. In somewhat sloppy black ink, the message was scrawled: We are rising to Snake your empire out from under you, Shelbys. It’s time someone brought you to your knees. You want them, come get them. 209 Milligan Ave.

“What the fuck is this, Tommy?” Arthur’s first thought had been that his brother had been conducting business with whoever these Green Snakes were behind everyone’s back. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d gotten the whole family in trouble for the sake of his ego remaining intact. 

Tommy lowered the paper and did another scan of the room, “I don’t know. Arthur. I’ve never heard of the Green Snakes before but whoever they are, they’re messing with the wrong family.” 

Arthur watched his brother inspect the blood stains and ran his fingers through his messy hair, “Do you think it’s Y/N’s blood?” 

Tommy got close to the wall and squinted at one of the handprints, “I can’t say for sure but I have a feeling it’s not.” 

“Well I’m not gonna stand around speculating. I’m going to 209 Milligan Ave and I’m gonna fuckin’ slaughter every one of them.” Arthur threw his hat back on, palm just barely missing the concealed blade. He slid his gun into the holster beneath his coat and reached for the doorknob before Tommy stopped him. 

“Wait, brother.” 

Arthur paused and looked back, “‘m not wasting any time. Who knows what these Green Snakes are doing to ‘em?” 

“The last thing we need is a war, Arthur. We need to get in and get out as quietly as possible.” Tommy reached out for his brother’s arm but he pulled away. 

“A war?!” Arthur asked incredulously, “A fucking war? The love of my life is gone and you’re worried about some fucking turf war with a bunch of amateurs! I’m gonna go get them myself.” 

Arthur turned to go out the door, expecting Tommy to hold him back or tell him it was a trap, anything to keep him from leaving, but no protest ever came. Tommy only pulled out his car keys,  “I’ll drive.” 

** 

The day had been relatively quiet. You had business to do at home this particular morning so you’d arranged with Tommy that you’d just come in a few hours later than normal, which he was completely fine with. Arthur was… well he was supposed to be at the shop but knowing him, he was probably getting into trouble. 

It was nice to have the house to yourself. You loved Arthur but one of the things that had initially made you nervous about marrying him was that you’d never really have any private space again. Right now, though, you had a few hours to yourself so your favorite record was playing on the phonograph while you swept the floor, something that hadn’t been done in much longer than you’d like to admit. 

At first, you weren’t sure if you heard the knock on the front door over the music playing but when there was a second, louder knock, you knew for sure. You turned down the music and sighed, having a feeling it was probably John looking for his brother or something. Without any hesitation, you opened the door only to be shocked when three men you didn’t recognize stood there, “Oh, hello. Can I help you?” 

“You’re married to Arthur Shelby?” The one in the front, the leader of this pack, asked, twirling a toothpick between his teeth. 

Immediately, your guard went up and you moved the hand that was still concealed from view by the door over to grab the first hard thing you could find - a glass bowl on the small table by the door - and gripped it tightly. These men wouldn’t be here unless they were up to something suspicious or Arthur was dead, and you had a feeling from the way they sounded that it wasn’t the ladder. “Yeah.” You answered simply but firmly, showing you weren’t afraid of them. 

With a side glance to both of his men, the main guy nodded his head and, before you knew it, you were being rushed. You swung the glass bowl into the nearest one’s head, flinching away as the glass shattered in every direction. He fell with a grunt but the other one was already lunging towards you. You ducked and ran towards the main living area when you were grabbed around the waist. You thrashed and yelled, driving your elbow as hard as you could into his face. He dropped you, blood flowing down his face. 

Your feet hit the ground sloppily, your knees buckling a little from the sudden impact, but you made it to the kitchen nonetheless, frantically reaching for the first weapon-like object you could get your hands on, which just so happened to be a knife. When you turned around, the two men that had attacked you were already on their feet and coming towards you, blood running down both of their faces. The third one was nailing something to your door that you couldn’t make out. 

One of the men came at you from the front, tackling you to the ground when you overestimated just how much their weight you could support. Both of you landed with a thud but he was on his feet before you, dragging you towards him by the ankle. You kicked him harshly in the face with your free foot until he let go and you tried to crawl away, the knife still tight in your fist.

The other man tried to grab you by the hair but you sliced backwards blindly, slicing across his cheek in a fairly deep gash. He howled out in pain and let you go but not before his hands were back on you. You reached up and dug your nails into his freshly wounded flesh. He screamed out, kicking you to the side. Blood covered your hands and body and you were sure it looked like you must have just murdered someone. 

“Alright boys, quit playing games and just take ‘em already.” The leader demanded gruffly from the door, checking his watch. 

A bag was wrestled over your head from behind and when you reached up to try and tear it off, your hands were gripped and roughly tied up with rope in front of you. “Let me go!” You screamed as you were hoisted over one of the men’s shoulders, “I’ll fucking kill you!”

There was a wordless chuckle from the direction of the door as you thrashed about, trying to free yourself from the grip to no avail. You reached your bound hands out, blindly and desperately trying to cling to whatever leverage you could find. Your hands gripped one of the walls but no matter how hard you held onto it, the blood that covered your hands made your grip slip free. 

In a voice that imitated Arthur’s but was far from the original, the leader said, “By order of the Green fookin’ Snakes, the Peaky Blinders are no longer the kings of Birmingham.” 

** 

209 Milligan Ave was on the other end of Small Heath. The building didn’t look like much, just a single stand-alone brick building at the end of a foggy street. There weren’t any signs out front that established it as a place of business but it was definitely not a house either. There were a few other businesses around but this part of town was very clearly less populated than most other parts of the city. 

“This is probably a trap so stay ready. Stay alert.” Tommy warned his brother, though he knew he really didn’t have to. Arthur had been through worse than this. 

Arthur’s eyes were steadfast and unwavering, “I don’t fuckin’ care if it’s a trap. I just need Y/N back.” 

Tommy gave his older brother an insistent nod, “‘Ey, we’re going to get them back.” Arthur didn’t respond but he didn’t need to. 

Tommy walked up to the door and pushed it open without hesitation. Arthur followed close behind but it took everything in his power to not just pull the trigger on the first thing that moved but Tommy had insisted on a diplomatic approach first, mostly for the sake of them not killing you if they hadn’t already. 

The first room they walked into was large and open. Two doorways led to the back of the house but they couldn’t see anything back there. Tommy and Arthur didn’t need to look any further though. You were sitting in the middle of the room, arms tied behind the backrest of a wooden chair. Your legs too were bound to the wood legs of the seat and a cloth that looked none too clean was tied around your mouth as a gag. Hair stuck up messily around your head and blood coated your arms and face. 

Four men covered each corner of the room, leaning back casually but trying to be intimidating, like a cowboy leaning against the wall of a saloon. One more man, the one who had led your kidnapping, stood next to your chair. He looked to be about a rough thirty-five with sandy blonde hair and a work-worn face. 

Tommy could sense Arthur about to pop off and shoot everyone before saying a word so he spoke up before his brother could behave rashly. “You wanted us. You have us. What do you want?” Tommy demanded. 

“Eh, not ‘us.’ Just you, Thomas Shelby.” The blonde man said with a gruff cockney accent. 

Tommy shrugged his hands up in a vaguely exasperated motion, “Well here I am. Now let them go.” He nodded his head over to you, locking eyes with you. Everything will be okay, they seemed to tell you. He was relieved to see that your eyes weren’t broken but still fired up with rage and fear, just enough to fight your way out.

“C’mon, Tommy,” The man’s chest shook as he snorted, “Surely, as such a man of enterprise, you know that’s not how negotiations work.” 

“I don’t know who you think you are but this is no negotiation. I’ll ask one more time. Let. Y/N/. Go.” Tommy’s eyes were narrowed at the man. 

The signature toothpick that was between the blonde man’s teeth was plucked by his fingers tips and used to gesture, “The name’s Finnegan Bay and these are the Green Snakes.” He motioned to the four men around the room, “And we’re comin’ for the throat of the Peaky fookin’ Blinders.” He made his voice deeper as he jested about your gang and the way Arthur said it. 

Tommy’s cold, stern gaze was relentless and unyielding, the way it always was. It was predatory and threatening in a scarily unpredictable way. The man had no tells. He wore the same face when he was listening to a pleasant anecdote as he did when he was on the brink of killing someone.

“You really think you could take us down, eh? What? Some men from the factories wantin’ to feel like they’re somethin’ bigger than they are? Well, y’know what? You’re just that. Just some small men from the factories. Nothing more. You think cause you got some guns and a name that it means you’re something but you’re not.” He paused for just a moment for effect, “See, you’ve messed with my family. I’m gonna give you one chance to let them go before I kill each and every one of you. You can’t even imagine the things I’m capable of doing to you. I’ll make sure they never find your bodies. Now, this is last time I’m gonna tell you: let them go.” 

Finnegan reached down into his coat and pulled out a long knife. Your eyes widened as you watched him inspect the wide blade for just a moment before pointing it lazily at Tommy, “Y’see, it’s that right there. That attitude. The entitlement. The superiority complex. I think it’s time someone reminded Thomas Shelby of his place.” In a flash, he gripped your head from behind, palm smushing your face as he roughly pulled it back to expose your neck, holding the blade to your skin. 

You let out a muffled yell of shock and fear. Your heart raced in your chest and your stomach felt like it had butterflies, but more aggressive. Dragons? The sharp edge of the blade dug into the top few layers of skin, almost drawing blood but not quite. This wasn’t the first time you’d had a knife (or gun, for that matter) to your head but it never stopped being terrifying. 

Tommy sent a quick look over to his brother who had been standing there silently, seething with anger but obeying Thomas nonetheless. Arthur could almost predict not only the look but the succeeding actions as well after so many years of being in situations like this. 

Without even a pause after the blade made contact with your skin, Finnegan hit the ground dead. The loud bang from Tommy’s gun startled you and you flinched, the knife slicing just barely into your skin, finally drawing those drops of blood, but not nearly deep enough to cause actual life-risking damage. Blood splattered all over you as it flew from your captor’s chest, right where the first bullet landed. The knife slipped from the man’s limp hands and bounced off your leg before crashing on the floor. 

Just as soon as the first shot was fired, Tommy aimed his gun and shot the man in the far corner with the precision of a sniper before the other man could even process that Finnegan had been shot. Arthur turned and fired at the man behind him, hitting him in the side of the head. A few shots were fired from the men in the far left side and the back right side, both at Arthur and Tommy. 

You flinched, trying to make your body as small a target as you could to avoid the flying bullets but couldn’t get far with the rope holding you in place. Then you remembered the knife on the ground. The only way you could reach that would be to topple the chair and hope to goodness that your tied up hands could manage to grip the blade. The way your arms were tied around the back, though, would result in an arm breaking crash no matter which way you fell. 

Just as you were about to sike yourself up to deal with the pain and topple the chair, the gunfire ceased. At first, you were scared to look around and see who had fallen. A ceasefire either meant one team had one or everyone was dead and you weren’t sure you wanted to know either way. 

“Are you alright?” Tommy’s voice suddenly asked and you opened your eyes to see your husband and brother-in-law coming towards you quickly. 

You nodded, wishing you could speak if it weren’t for the damn gag. Arthur rushed to you and reached behind your head, untying the dirty cloth. The fabric fell from your mouth and you licked your lips a few times, your mouth agonizingly dry from being forced open for so long. 

Arthur inspected the areas on you that had blood, “Did you get shot? Did they hurt you?” 

You shook your head, arms coming to touch his face when Tommy cut your hands free, “No, no, no. I’m fine. I’m okay.” You almost were saying it to convince yourself more than anything. With the exception of the thin slice across your throat, you really were fine. Shaken up but alive. 

He helped you up and you shook out your arms, seeing the red burn around your wrists from the rope. Your biceps ached from where they’d been pressed against the wood so tightly and you were sure there were bruises on them beneath your shirt. 

Arthur’s arms wrapped around you like he’d never let you go. It was one of those “love you like I’m gonna lose you” moments where you both dropped any reserve or tough image that you usually held up and were just grateful for being blessed with each other. 

Tommy watched the two of you and almost smiled at the sight of seeing his brother so happy. Arthur really did deserve happiness; Tommy had always thought all of his brothers did.

You pulled away from Arthur and hugged Tommy. He was taken off guard for a moment, not usually one for physical affection, but wrapped his arms around your body in an awkward but sincere attempt at comforting you and acknowledging your appreciation. “Thank you.” He nodded, retracting his arms to regain his composure. Arthur came up to stand just beside you, his arm around your back, like he was scared to let you go again, though, of course, his face didn’t show it. 

“Yeah,” He acknowledged in his own laconic way, “Maybe we should get going before the cops show up. I’m sure the gunshots had a few people reaching for the phones.” Tommy adjusted his coat before heading out the door. 

You and Arthur followed closely behind and Tommy opened the door for you to get in, something he didn’t do for anyone except maybe a girl he was trying to coax under the sheets. Arthur helped you in and sat in the backseat with you, still not wanting to be away after the day’s events. 

There was a strange air in the car as Tommy drove you back to your home so you could clean up. Arthur kept his hand placed on your leg protectively, like you were his lifeline. Tommy’s silence wasn’t uncharacteristic but when you glanced up towards him, the two of you made eye contact in the rear view mirror. 

It lasted no more than a few seconds but the unspoken sentiment was clear and mutual. You were a true Shelby now and that meant that Tommy would do whatever it took to keep you alive. It was clear that you’d do the same for him as well, outside of what was expected as a member of the gang. 

Finding people to truly trust and love unconditionally in this life was difficult, whether it was family, friends, or spouses -  but you were finally that person. Arthur had found that love and security in you as a spouse and Tommy had found the same in you as your brother-in-law. For once, he felt that a small part of him could be happy because when he looked back and saw the way the deep, worrisome crinkles around Arthur’s eyes softened when he held you close, he knew that his brother had found something to live for. 

[cdt12345]

Ian and Mickey are Husbands!

I took a while to even talk about this episode because I was so overwhelmed. I needed time to process everything!

To start off, I have no complaints! The only thing is, it would’ve been great if Mandy, Iggy and Fiona were there. But that’s something we already knew wasn’t gonna happen, so I chose not to let that make me mad. I already had time to be angry about it before this episode.

Please excuse the ramblings of a mad women but I’m sure you understand, as I know you’re freaking out just as much as I am! Looking at you @luckyshazmrsmonaghansblog! I want this episode playing on a loop wherever I go forever! Even at my grave! For once I didn’t need to fast forward to get to their scenes! I usually try not to during the first watch, but I won’t have to even when I watch it again, which I already have.

Immediately starting off with how I love that everyone was worried about Ian taking his meds because it’s going to be a stressful day for him. It wasn’t overbearing or accusatory, it was genuine care and concern for Ian’s well being on his and Mickey’s big day. This is the love and attention Ian has always deserved from his family!

Carl asked the question we’ve all been asking! Where is Mickey getting the money for this wedding? Liam killed me with his response to Ian. “Hmph. Savings?” Like, yeah right. Oh Mickey you adorable man. He’s fucking stealing money on his own to pay for his wedding. I fucking love him so much!

I know people will hate that he was doing this and probably complain about it, but as long as he didn’t get caught, I’m fine. These characters have grown and changed, but they haven’t changed that much. Let’s just be happy Mickey didn’t get shot or go to prison and he was able to afford to throw himself and Ian a beautiful wedding.

It did not get passed me that Mickey came out of the restroom from his shower after Ian did. I’m pretty sure sexy time already started that day in the shower!!! No one will convince me otherwise.

Liam knowing as soon as Mickey walked in what was about to happen and walked the hell out of there. Hilarious! Smart kid! Carl just sitting there until Mickey had to tell him to get the fuck out was also fucking hilarious! Especially when thinking back to the time Mickey was staying there in season 4. They couldn’t even share a bed in front of Ian’s family. I love that this is gonna be their life from now on. This family is so much better with Mickey in it and because of it we have a happy and in love Ian. Nothing could be better!

Our first glance at Mickey’s butt was a plus! We fucking needed that! We needed more of that, but beggers can’t be choosers.

Carl getting them edible boxers! Liam wanting to get them something special even though he had no money! He’s so precious! He got them a honeymoon car!

So Debbie and Sandy slept together the night before for the first time (still not supportive of this relationship) meaning Ian and Mickey were planning their wedding the day before they had the wedding. Even when they still needed to get invitations and send them out!

This doesn’t count as a complaint because the shows lack of proper timelines and not being realistic is nothing new for them. But I’m going to believe some time had to have passed. They can’t send out invitations, get RSVP’s and book a venue in one fucking day. Another fuck up was Mickey bit Ian’s right arm and when we see the bite mark it’s on Ian’s left arm. How can they be this incompetent?

I know people weren’t thrilled about Mickey biting Ian and Ian having to punch Mickey twice, but I can live with it. Of course I don’t love or even like to see them hit each other. I hate it too! I was more sad that they had to go through this on their wedding day and I wish they didn’t have to go through that. Especially because of that asshole Terry.

But Mickey was so angry he couldn’t think straight. And Ian had no other choice but to punch him in order to save him from getting killed by Terry or Mickey getting sent back to prison. They didn’t do it because they were fighting with each other, which probably makes it easier for me to deal with it.

Poor Ian had to run all the way to the venue and back, up the front steps, up the stairs, then down the stairs and then down the back stairs to chase after Mickey and then gets bit by him. All with his broken leg! He needs a rest!

Ian’s face when he’s watching the smoke from the fire was sad. It made me so sad for him. I know he wasn’t into the wedding planning like Mickey, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t just as sad or upset over the fact their venue was burning down.

I was liking Tommy in the previous episode, but he done fucking pissed me off with his stupid opinions that no one asked for. I do love that Vee defended them, but if it were me, I would’ve told him he could find another fucking bar if he said anything like that ever again in this bar. But that’s just me!

I’m happy that Lip’s story line got attention because it deserved it. I’m also happy that it didn’t overshadow Ian and Mickey’s big day. Everything felt evenly spread out for once. Except for Frank but he’s had enough episodes centered around him, for him to sit on the back burner for once. Even though the episode was named after Gallavich and it was their wedding day, I expected John Wells to somehow make this all about Frank. It must’ve killed John Wells! It must be tough not getting it your way for one episode! Poor thing, old rich white men can’t seem to catch a break. I’m totally being sarcastic, but I’m sure you caught that.

I was so impressed with Liam playing Frank the way he did. That kid is a genius! I also love that he wanted Frank at Ian’s wedding and guilted him to be there. I’m not Franks biggest fan and Ian can say he could care less all he wants, but it was good for him to have a parent there and I love Liam for making it happen.

I love that everyone did everything they could to find a place to have the wedding and set everything up for them. This is what this season has been lacking. The whole family together getting shit done! And for once it was for Ian and Mickey.

Mickey talking about how Terry fucking won again and him listing all of the horrible shit he ever did was gut wrenching! He didn’t even mention the worst of it that no one else knows about, except he and Ian and Lip. Terry’s a piece of shit monster that needs to rot in hell.

I know they said in season 3 that Mickey’s mom died. But I’m going with what was last said, and what was last said was she took off. I’m glad we even got this bit of info about her. It’s confusing because we have different stories, but I’m going with what Mickey said. Besides why would he lie in this moment? Ian and Mandy talking about her being dead could’ve been Mandy saying she’s dead to them since she left them behind with Terry.

Mickey told Ian he loves him twice in front of everyone!!! I was crying from that alone. This was a big moment. Anytime Mickey can profess his love for Ian in front of everyone is always a big deal. Considering he was afraid to even act like friends with Ian in front of other people in the beginning.

I love that Lip was still thinking about where to have the wedding and Mickey’s like “Ey, asshole, were you not listening? We’re doing a murder thing here.” Went from sad to funny in a split second.

I thought if we ever got Ian and Mickey talking about having kids, it would be next season. That was if they would even talk about it in the first place. This episode gave me everything I wanted and more. This was one of those more moments.

I couldn’t believe they talked about kids in this episode. I love the fact that Mickey didn’t want them until Ian said he did. Of course Mickey would be happy either way as long as Ian’s happy. If Ian wants kids, he wants kids too. I don’t want this for them now, but maybe in a few years. Really whenever they’re ready. I want what they want!

I also hoped, but didn’t think we’d get, a moment alone with them before the wedding and we did! I squealed and cried so much during this scene! Ian tying Mickey’s bow tie! Both of them teasing each other about how ugly and how pale the other is! That was so them!

Ian charming that polish lady when Mickey was starting to say something bad, was again so them. I also freaked over the polish lady because she came out in Edward Scissorhands and damn she’s aged! But I digress.

Ian and Mickey standing in the venue when the Gallagher’s and Balls were setting everything up was another beautiful moment to me. They could just stand back and watch their family and loved ones set everything up for them.

Ian complementing Mickey’s chairs was so sweet. The cake topper killed me! But the fact that everyone knows Mickey is a bottom, at least for Ian, makes me even more proud of him!

I was not excited about the gay Jesus groupies, especially Geneva, being at the wedding. There was speculation that she might marry Ian and Mickey. I did not like that idea, thank God it didn’t happen. She wanted Ian to fight the charges and possibly go to jail longer and none of them showed up for Ian when he went to prison.

But if it wasn’t for them Ian wouldn’t have ended up in jail with Mickey. I believe that Ian and Mickey are soulmates, so they would’ve ended up together eventually, but it happened sooner because of the shit they got Ian into. In a weird way they made this happen sooner.

I never fully forgive anyone for mistreating Ian or Mickey, but they are somewhat forgiven for keeping Terry from ruining the wedding. They kept Terry from hurting Mickey and/or Ian and for that I will always be grateful. They were good for something in the end. When it really mattered for Ian.

Really, I’m just so happy that everyone came through for Ian and Mickey on their wedding day. Ian and Mickey deserved this more than anyone and I can’t believe they finally got it.

I was also hoping for a moment between Ian and Lip alone before the ceremony. It was touching and enough to make me happy and for me to start crying again. Ian’s choice of song for the ceremony was fucking perfect! I was already a mess at this point!

I thought neither of them were going to walk down the aisle, but my God did I love that Mickey did. I loved Kevin standing there with the bat. He’s basically me when anyone tries to mess with Gallavich. He’s basically all of us!

GOD THE VOWS!!! The fact that I didn’t drop dead in that moment is a fucking miracle! Mickey saying he will cherish Ian really hit me! Ian deserves to be cherished and we all know Mickey is the man for the job. Ian saying it back to Mickey! I was balling!

Frank crying and being happy for them was such a weird emotional moment for me. I know he cares about his kids. I really do not like Frank. When watching season 8, I talked with @luckyshazmrsmonaghansblog about the episode Frank helped them out with that drug dealer. We agreed Frank has his moments and comes through for his kids sometimes.

But this was just for Ian. He never tells Ian he loves him. That time Frank went around telling all his kids he loved them one by one in season 6. I noticed he never told Ian he loved him. He told all his kids he loved them but never said that to Ian. Not once!

They never really had a moment together like Frank has with his other kids. So this was a very emotional moment. It was just him showing up and being supportive and not ruining the wedding. But for Ian that’s a big deal. Especially when Mickey’s father is doing the exact opposite of that.

When Ian asks “Now?” to kiss Mickey, I literally yelled at the TV “YES!” This is such a triumphant moment for them. I’m still in disbelieve it happened. I never would’ve believed it years ago. I’m having a hard time believing it now.

All the music that was played at the wedding was perfect! They hired a good DJ. Mickey dancing!!!!! He’s such a bad dancer and I love it! I love that he did that without being asked. He just wanted to dance at his wedding because he was so happy! Another thing I hoped for but didn’t think we’d get was a slow dance between Ian and Mickey. But we fucking got it!!!!!!

Tami telling Ian and Mickey she loved them? Again, I said out loud to the TV “Since when?” Tami kept calling them ex cons and has barley interacted with them. Looking closely she doesn’t even say it. I think they added that in post production. She wasn’t even originally scripted to say that.

I love that when Kev and Vee were the center of attention for a minute, we still see Mickey dancing and doing air guitar to Whitney Houston in the background! Fucking love it!!!!

Ian sitting down and watching the love of his life, his husband dancing with his family at their wedding was beautiful! A moment Ian will never forget, I’m sure.

It was so Ian to bring up missing his mom at his wedding. Out of all the kids, I will always believe Ian was her favorite. She wasn’t the best mom in the world, but she really loved Ian. I’m sure she would’ve been so happy and proud of him.

And out of all the kids, Ian was the one who connected the most with her and grieved her death the most. I wish he could’ve had her there and I cried when he teared up talking about her. For once Debbie said something right. Monica would’ve loved it. I’m glad the comment was supportive and Ian wasn’t teased for missing his own mother.

If I wasn’t already a mess Ian called Mickey his husband!! I started crying even harder at that! Again the song for the slow dance was fucking perfect for them. Once the slow song came on Mickey started looking around for Ian and that is so sweet!

I was so overwhelmed by this that I didn’t even notice that Lip was drinking right away. It took a few seconds to realize and when I did I was like “No Lip!” I’m glad he got help right away though. Shows how far he’s come as well.

Ian and Mickey driving off together was something I thought would be the last we would see of them this season. I loved it and that Liam got them a beautiful car to use for their honeymoon. I saw this months ago when the spoilers came out and I figured that would be it.

But then we get them at their honeymoon!!!!! I never even dreamed we’d see this. I didn’t even hope for this because I didn’t think it would actually happen! They had the cheesy honeymoon suite with a heart shaped bed and everything!!!

I never knew I wanted this for them until it happened. I fucking loved that they had the cheesiest honeymoon suite experience. For real, this makes me so happy! I don’t know how Terry could’ve found out where they were but okay.

Another bonus! We got another shot of Mickey’s butt!!! We got two butt shots! This was the best episode of the whole fucking series! I know I’m biased because of my love for Gallavich, but it really was the fucking best!

I’m guessing this is a set up for more Terry next season. I hope it doesn’t last long. Only long enough to get rid of him somehow. Without Ian or Mickey getting in trouble with the law for it.

[bright-molina]

a/n I meant for this to be ficlet/drabble length and well, it’s a lot longer than that. This is for you anon! I’ll reblog a new prompt list soon, here’s the one I’m using now but feel free to request whatever you’d like! 

request:  can u do a steve harrington x reader with 1, 7, 19, and 20? ty

synopsis: It’s been three months since the fight between you and Steve and you still have no idea what prompted it. When you come back home from college for fall break the last thing you’re expecting is a drunken message from Steve confessing everything. 

*

It had been exactly 3 months and 16 days since Steve had last seen you. He’d know. He was counting. It was the night before you were leaving for college and also the night he had made his biggest mistake in his life so far. And no, he wasn’t being dramatic like Dustin always insisted. Steve was certain that out of all of the things he had done wrong, letting you go had been the worst. 

He had no clue how late it was. All he knew was that for the last two days you had been the absolute only thought in his head. It was two days ago that Lucas, who lived just across the street from you, very dutifully informed him that you were back home for break. It was two days ago that every painful detail of the night he foolishly left you invaded his mind and wouldn’t leave. It was late and he was desperate for some sort of release and so he sat alone in his living room with empty containers that had once held various types of alcohol scattered all around him. 

It didn’t work. Steve’s guilt ran deep and instead of the alcohol making every thought of you disappear, it enhanced them by a hundred. He was supposed to feel numb and instead his mind played a never-ending loop of the last fight you two had. 

“I think you’re just afraid to be happy.” 

You had let out a choked sob. It had killed him listening to it then and it killed him remembering it now. He had known you for as long as he could remember. You had fought monsters from other dimensions and outwitted evil Russians side by side and not a single time had you ever cried. You were the toughest and bravest person he knew and he hated the fact that he of all people was the one to make you feel that way. 

“You’re lying to me and you’re lying to yourself, Steve Harrington.” He had never seen you so angry at anybody before. And that was saying something since you had punched Tommy H. in the face on multiple occasions. Steve swore that he could see the fury burning in your eyes, swimming among a million other emotions you were pushing aside. “I don’t know what your problem is or why you’re being such an ass and you refuse to tell me. But I do know that I don't want you here. Not anymore. Now get out.”

And he had listened to you. He had turned right around and made sure to slam your front door shut on his way out without another word to you. Steve shook his head, taking another swig from the bottle in his hand and resisted the urge to punch himself. How could he have been so stupid? 

Steve’s head was a blur of thoughts and emotions all screaming at each other. It took a few minutes but one finally screamed louder than the others. Call her. And maybe it was the alcohol taking over, but he was absolutely positive that it was the right move. He reached for the phone, knocking over a few things in the process. The numbers blurred together and moved a little when he tried to push them but he persisted. After three tries the phone was finally ringing and he waited for you to answer. But you never did. It was then that he looked outside and glared how dark it still was. He barely processed the sound of the beep telling him to leave a voicemail and decided to do just that. 

“Shit,” Steve screwed his eyes shut tight as he tried to throw together at least one coherent thought. “You remember the last time I saw you, Y/N?” He waited for an answer before remembering that you weren’t actually on the other side of the phone. “I was a fucking dumbass and told you that I didn’t care what you did at college because we were never anything more than friends. Well, you know what? If we were just friends, how come you always let me sleep over whenever I had a bad day? Just friends don’t do that. Why did we do everything together? We threw parties and hung out with the kids and went out for dinner and snuck out all the time. Shit, Y/N, you know how many people asked me if we were dating.” Steve thought of all the times he had gotten the question. He thought of all the times he had insisted you two weren’t. And then of all the times he had wished you were. He thought of the day before the two of you had fought. “Just friends don’t sleep together the day before one of them leaves for school.” Steve let out a heavy sigh. He shook his head and wished that he had said all of those things 3 months and 16 days ago instead of hiding them all just because he was mad. “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.” 

*

“You’ll drop these all off later?” Robin asked from where she stood at the door while getting her coat on. She motioned towards the various empty movie boxes littered all over the coffee table. 

“Promise,” You smiled, setting a small pile of plates and utensils on the same table while El, Max, and Nancy carried the rest of the various breakfast items to the living room. “You sure you can’t stay for breakfast?” You had invited them all over the same day you had gotten home for your week-long break from school. The night before was the first night you had all been able to spend together. 

“Maybe I’ll take a plate to go.” She sat back down after looking at all the food and you let out a small laugh.

“Hey, there’s a message on the machine,” Max pointed out as she piled food on her own plate. You looked over and saw the blinking red light. 

“Honestly, who in their right mind calls late at night,” You groaned as you walked over, more out of obligation than anything else. Your parents weren’t home and you promised them you’d let them know if anyone called. It was the only reason you were even listening to the message. You clicked the button next to the flashing light and were vaguely aware of the tv being clicked off. 

“Shit. You remember the last time I saw you, Y/N?” You knew who it was the second the message started playing. Everyone’s eyes were trained on you but yours were focused on where Steve’s voice was coming out of the speaker. “I was a fucking dumbass and told you that I didn’t care what you did at college because we were never anything more than friends. Well, you know what?”

You listened to the message in its entirety. The many stuttered words and slurred sound of his voice made it obvious that Steve had been drunk when leaving the message. It didn’t make the mess of emotions you were now feeling any less real though. You knew your friends were all listening intently and watching for your reaction. None of them said anything upon hearing the revelation that you had slept with Steve. They didn’t say anything after the message, either. Instead, they waited until you looked okay to speak. The four of them were your favorite people for a reason.

“It,” You stopped, willing the memories that had been pushed to the front of your mind by Steve’s message to ease up just a little. “It was one time.” 

“You don’t have to explain yourself to us, Y/N,” Nancy insisted sitting down on one side of you and taking one of your hands in an attempt at comfort. “We just want to know if you’re okay.” 

“I’m fine,” You flashed a small smile. Honestly, you were fine. It had been a while and yeah, the memory of that day sucked and it constantly replayed in your head at the worst times, but you were fine. You had already dealt with the fact that Steve ended up being...well him. Even with you. “I haven’t talked to him in months.” You admitted to them. 

“Yeah we, uh,” Max briefly thought of all the times Steve had found some way to bring you up and immediately complain that you weren’t talking to him. “We knew you two had a fight.” 

“He never said why, though,” El shook her head, sitting down on the other side of you. “Always changed the subject when we asked.” 

“Of course he would,” You couldn’t help rolling your eyes. It was just like Steve to complain and then not say why. It had been the whole reason behind your fight after all. In just a split second you felt a more subdued version of the anger you felt the last time you saw him take over. And so you told them everything. 

You told them everything from the events leading up to it to every word that was said. And as hard as you all tried nobody could connect the dots between him all but admitting he was in love with you one day and insisting that you were never anything more than friends the next. Whatever his problem had been he had evidently kept it locked inside his own head, refusing to talk it through with anybody. The five of you could only speculate as to what it was that had made Steve so mad that day. 

*

When Steve finally clocked in for the start of his shift it was noon. He had absolutely no idea why Robin met him with a glare the second he walked through the door. Frankly, he didn’t really want to know considering how much all the lights hurt to look at and how much his head hurt. 

“You’re screwed, Harrington,” Robin said, crossing her arms the second Steve stepped behind the counter. He glanced at the time, sure that she was just messing with him. 

“What are you talking about?” He set his head down in an attempt to block out as much light as he could. “I’m on time. Which is honestly a miracle.”

“You really don’t remember, do you?” Her question was confirmed when Steve didn’t answer. Whatever he happened to remember from the night before was all still a little fuzzy. “You must’ve been really drunk.” 

“Care to elaborate on whatever it is I did?” His voice came out muffled since he hadn’t bothered lifting his head to speak. Robin rolled her eyes and leaned against the counter waiting to see his reaction. 

“Nothing much,” She shrugged, not that Steve could tell. “Just left Y/N a super long-winded message in which you relive the argument you’ve never told anyone about, wished you had been dating her, knowing now that you were ‘more than friends’, and oh yeah, brought up sleeping with her the night before she left for school.” 

“I’m sorry, I did what!” Steve’s head shot up. It was the fastest he had moved all day and he wasn’t sure the movement agreed with him. Or maybe the nausea was just from finding out that he had apparently called you while drunk off his ass the night before. “How,” He gulped and tried to gather his thoughts. “How do you know all this?” 

“Because I spent the night at Y/N’s place,” He had reacted just like Robin thought he would. “So did Nancy, Max, and El by the way. All of whom also heard your very passionate drunken rant.” 

Steve groaned loudly and covered his face with his hands. He couldn’t even remember calling you last night, much less what it was he had said. The only thing he could assume was that it couldn’t have possibly been good if what he said was anything like what he remembered thinking. 

Maybe the universe hated him. Maybe whatever forces were out there decided to get payback on him at that exact moment for every bad thing he had ever done. Or maybe karma was just a bitch. Whatever it was, he hated it because at that exact moment the bell hanging over the door dinged. And of course, the person entering the video store just had to be you with El walking right beside you. Steve immediately ducked behind the counter, the second fastest move he had made all day. 

“Hey,” Robin smiled, ignoring Steve’s antics in the process. She figured it’d all be better in the long run if you didn’t confront each other for the first time in three months in the middle of a Family Video. 

“Your movies, as promised.” You and El both set down a pile of movies on the counter. You were in much better spirits than you had been earlier that morning. 

“We also came to take you to lunch,” El added, watching carefully as Robin glanced...towards the floor? 

“You are going to lunch soon, right?” You asked, only noticing her face fall just the slightest. 

“I am!” She quickly shook her head, realizing what it must have looked like. Your smile returned and you started debating with El where to go for lunch. In the short while you were distracted Robin took the boxes and crouched down behind the counter. “What are you planning to do now, dingus?” 

“Hide here until Y/N leaves,” Steve nodded to himself, sounding absolutely sure that his plan would work out. “Should be easy enough.” 

“I don’t think so,” Robin eyes locked onto one of their coworkers she hadn’t bothered learning the name of. What she did know though, was that he was a huge stickler for rules. Rules that included the fact that Steve was supposed to take over before she left, which he couldn’t do if he was still taking cover behind the counter. 

“Harrington!” Unnamed coworkers timing could not have been worse for Steve. He could hear you and El both stop talking the second you heard his name. Robin stood up and opted to see how it all played out. It was out of her hands now. “What are you doing on the floor? You’re covering Buckley’s lunch shift.” 

There was no getting out of anything now. Steve slowly stood up from his spot on the floor. He braced himself both for facing you and to keep from falling over from how fast his head was spinning. The second he laid eyes on you though? He was gone. Every single reservation he had previously felt seemed to dissipate when he looked into your eyes. You weren’t happy to see him, and with good reason, but at the same time you weren’t as angry as you had been 3 months and 17 days ago. When you looked at him you were indifferent and that was what hurt him the most. 

“Steve.” You managed to say in greeting. Confronting him after hearing the drunken message he had left was not what you wanted to be doing but there you were. Over the last three months, you had played scenario after scenario in your head, seemingly infinite possibilities of what you might say the next time you came face to face with Steve Harrington. Now that you were finally standing in front him you had absolutely no idea what to say. 

“Y/N,” Steve felt nauseous again. He wanted to address everything and nothing all at once. He wanted to tell you he was sorry. For all the things he had said to you three months ago, for being a jerk, for the drunken message he had apparently left. He also wanted to pretend it had never happened. He wanted to live in a little bubble where the two of you had never fought and you were here, seeing him for the first time in a long time. But that wasn’t possible. “Look, about the message I left last night -” 

“Don’t worry about it,” You cut him off, desperately wanting to run out of the video store. It was deja vu. You swore he was saying the exact same thing he had said three months ago. The words he had said to you, the ones that hurt you more than you ever thought they could, replayed in a vicious loop. About last night…it meant nothing….it was a mistake. 

“Y/N,” If he didn’t know any better he’d say he was begging, pleading you to hear him out. Steve knew better than anyone that drinking had a way of bringing out how people really felt. The night before was still a blur but from what he could piece together, he had said exactly what his emotions were. And he wasn’t going to deny them anymore, not to you. “I meant -” 

“It was a mistake,” You echoed the exact thing he told you back to him. And Steve knew, you could tell just by the way his face fell into realization. You tried desperately to ignore the way your heart pounded incessantly when you saw how utterly defeated Steve looked. You had to tear your eyes away and look at anything that wasn’t him and you spoke in a whisper. “I gotta go.” 

Steve could only watch as you walked out of the video store as fast as you could. He couldn’t blame you. After all, he had been just as quick to walk away from you. He hated it. He hated the way both El and Robin looked at him with a hint of sympathy. He hated seeing your car pull out of the parking lot and drive away. He hated being left almost alone in that store with his thoughts swirling in his head at a million miles an hour. And most of all he hated knowing that it was his fault and his fault only. 

*

When the doorbell rang you expected it to be the pizza you had ordered. What you hadn’t expected it to be was the party looking more worried than you had seen them in a long time. Lucas, Will, Dustin, and Mike all pushed past you without a moment's hesitation. 

“Please, come in,” You mumbled to yourself as you shut the door. Despite the concerned look on their faces, they didn’t hesitate to dig into the leftover junk food from the night before. It wasn't until they saw you staring at them that they remembered why it was they had gone to see you. All at once they started talking over each other. 

“We haven’t seen Steve in three days -” 

“Usually he’s always around -” 

“But he hasn’t been since the day we told him you were back.” 

“And we know he’s not your favorite person in the world right now -”

“But we need help finding him.” 

“He won’t answer our calls -” 

“And we just realized now that we don’t actually know where he lives.” 

“We were hoping you’d help us.” 

Part of you was tempted to tell them that you had run into him earlier that day and that he was fine. But then you thought of how tired Steve had looked and the sunken look in his eyes. Not to mention the drunken message and how hungover he had clearly been. You had to admit, it was endearing how much they cared for him. And so with a sigh and a barely-there smile, you picked your keys up from the coffee table. 

“I’ll drive you there but you’re paying for my pizza.” 

*

After a ten minute debate and agreeing that they’d pay for half your pizza then eating said pizza followed by another five-minute argument on who got to ride shotgun, you were finally pulling into Steve’s driveway. It was nearing midnight and the lights on in Steve’s living room stuck out like a sore thumb against the otherwise dark street. The only other car in the driveway was Steve’s and you knew he was alone. You barely registered that the boys were waiting for you before getting out of the car. They may have all been eager and a little impatient but even they all knew how much the fight you and Steve had hurt you both. You shot them all a smile before opening your door. 

“There should be a spare key under the doormat.” You pointed them in the right direction while you leaned against the car. The encounter at the video store was still fresh in your mind and you felt the need to put a little distance between you and the front door. So you watched. First, as they unlocked the door and walked in and then as Dustin came back outside and ran over to you. 

“We might need some help,” He told you and this time you followed. 

Steve was almost passed out on his couch and a few cans of beer were scattered on the floor. 

“Is he drunk?” Mike wondered out loud, kicking a stray can out of the way as he walked towards the couch. He moved Steve’s head back and forth a few times and got no reaction other than him half-heartedly swatting his hand away. You pushed any previous inhibitions you had away for the time being. Instead, you moved towards the couch and knelt on the floor. You had dealt with drunk Steve a hundred times before, this was something you were prepared for. 

“There’s a closet outside the bathroom upstairs, I need the headache medicine from there. I also need a glass of water, a wet towel, and any food you can find.” All at once they split up and you were left alone with Steve. 

“Hey,” You didn’t hesitate to gently shake him out of his half-asleep daze. He groaned in protest but sat up a little straighter. It was then that he looked over at you for the first time since you had all arrived. 

“Hey,” Steve wasn’t quite sure if you were actually there or not. In his once more drunken state, he managed to remember that you weren’t happy with him. There was no reason why you would be sitting on the floor beside him like you had so many times before. He could hope, though. “Are you really here?” 

“I am,” You spoke softly and moved to sit on the couch beside him. Immediately you found that drunk Steve was easier to handle than sober Steve. At least for the time being. Drunk Steve argued less and wouldn’t remember much in the morning. 

“Why?” Steve asked, despite not believing that you were there. “Why would you come to take care of me when I’ve been acting like a dick?” 

“Because,” For a second you weren’t going to tell him but then you remembered the many nights you had stayed with Steve when he was drunk. There was no harm in telling him the truth. “Because I still care about you, Steve. Even when you’re acting like a dick.” 

You took the glass of water and a half-eaten bag of chips from Will and Lucas. You honestly didn’t think Steve processed the fact that there was anyone else there. He was barely processing the fact that you were there. You handed him a chip from the bag and he popped it into his mouth. 

“You know,” Steve reached for the bag of chips and took out a handful. “I don’t think you're really here, Y/N” 

“And why is that?” You played along with whatever he said while taking the bottle of aspirin from Mike. Steve took the two pills you handed him along with the glass of water, spilling a good amount as he drank it. Dustin was the last one to come back with the towel. None of them said anything, amused by whatever it was that Steve was ranting about. 

“Because the real Y/N probably wouldn’t come in here after I fucked everything up,” Steve took another handful of chips and ate them within a few seconds. “I mean, come on. I said a bunch of terrible shit and when the real Y/N came back I called her while completely shitfaced and accidentally told all her friends we had sex. The only people who don’t know is the party and she’d kill me if they found out. If you were the real Y/N would you wanna be here right now?” 

You were very aware of the four boys all gaping at the two of you. Sure, they’d all done their fair share of speculating as to what had happened but this? This they weren’t expecting. They wanted to say something, you could tell, but they also wanted to hear what Steve was going to say next. It took you by surprise a little when he took another swig of water and laid down with his head in your lap. 

“Can I tell you something?” Steve shut his eyes and made himself comfortable. You knew he’d be asleep any second now. You took the towel from where Dustin had set it down and placed it on Steve’s forehead. “I hate how much I love you.” You dropped the bag of chips when he said those words while he kept talking like he had never said them. “It fucking hurts. I care so much about what you think of me. I think about you constantly. And the last 3 months and 17 days I’ve spent beating myself up over everything I said to you. It just sucks. Right not-real Y/N?” 

You were silent and confused. You loved him, of course you did. Steve had been your best friend for years and even after your argument you were always making sure he was fine through other people. In love though? That was something else entirely. Had Steve really just told you he was in love you while drunk and thinking you weren’t there? There was no way you could have anticipated hearing that. By the time you formulated a way to respond Steve had already drifted off to sleep.

“It’s uh,” You didn’t really know what to say to make everything a little less awkward. When you finally looked up at the boys they were all trying and failing to pretend that nothing had been said at all. “Late. It’s late. You guys shouldn’t walk home in the dark. There’s a guest room upstairs if you wanna stay there.” 

“Do you,” They knew you didn’t wanna talk about it. If you did you would have said something already. “Do you wanna take the room?” 

They watched as you glanced down at where Steve had fallen asleep on top of you. You shook your head after a few seconds of silence. “No, it’s fine. If I go he’ll wake up and won’t fall back asleep.” 

None of them said anything else but they did share a look. One that you could tell meant they’d talk about what had just happened once they were out of the room. You couldn’t bring yourself to mind much. They thanked you for helping them while also apologizing for dragging you into everything again. You assured them it was no big deal, despite what had just happened you’d help them again in a heartbeat if they asked. Soon they went upstairs and left you to dwell in your own thoughts with Steve sleeping soundly. 

*

When Steve woke up the next morning it was because the sun was shining obnoxiously through the thin curtains. He felt halfway decent, much to his surprise. It wasn’t until he sat up on the couch and saw you fast asleep on the couch that he realized he hadn’t in fact been hallucinating the night before. 

“Not again,” He mumbled to himself, having a clearer picture of what he had said than the day before. Steve ran his hands through his hair, eyes landing on the bottle of aspirin and the half-empty glass of water. You had stayed with him all night, just like you used to. He couldn’t help but smile at the fact. 

“You’re awake,” Your voice tore him out of his trance-like state. He watched you stretch before making yourself comfortable on the couch. 

“I am,” He followed suit and soon he was facing you. The air in the room was tense, almost anticipating the conversation that you both knew couldn’t be avoided any longer. Neither one of you said anything. You looked anywhere but at Steve, knowing that if you did you’d be a mess of emotions just like him. He looked at only you, relieved that he was finally seeing you for real after so long. Maybe, just maybe, you’d give him a chance to explain. “Can we talk? For real this time.” 

You couldn’t say no, you knew that. For the most part, you had succeeded in getting over the argument. It hurt if you thought about it too much but until a couple of days ago you hadn’t. You had simply resigned yourself to the fact that you’d never know why Steve had gotten so upset. But here he was now, sitting right next to you. And you needed to know everything. “Where do you want to start?” 

“The night before you left,” Steve answered almost immediately. He could tell by the look on your face that you were wary but you didn’t protest. “I,” He didn’t know how to go about explaining himself to you. But you were here and you were listening so he was going to do the best he could. “I was scared. We,” He watched you turn to look at him, eyes both sad and curious, and all his feelings came out all at once. “We slept together, Y/N. And after...it was over it hit me. I did the one thing they say you’re never supposed to do. You don’t just sleep with your best friend because things get complicated, you know? You had fallen asleep after a little and I look over and thought ‘do I love Y/N?’ and I sat there thinking about it. But then I realized you were leaving me. Just like everyone else. And I know it was a dick move but when you brought it up the next day I couldn’t handle it. You had always been right there with me through literally everything and suddenly you were leaving me. I was gonna be alone without you for the first time and I wasn’t ready. And a little while ago I finally realized why. I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me.”

“Can I ask you something now?” You finally said after a tense pause. Very slowly and a little hesitantly you reached forward and took one of Steve’s hands in your own. He nodded once and braced himself for whatever you were about to say. “Why did it take you so long to tell me this?” 

“Honestly?” Steve felt a weight lift off of his shoulders. He had finally told you everything and it surprised him that you were taking it as well as you were. “I thought you hated me after that fight.” 

“Oh, I did for a few days,” You couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped your lips. The smile on Steve’s face was one you hadn’t seen in what felt like forever. “Steve, within 24 hours you told literally all of our friends the one thing we agreed not to tell them and I still stayed the night to take care of you while you were drunk. I think it’s safe to say I could never really hate you.” 

Your laughter mixed together, a sound that hadn’t been heard in a long time. Before you could process anything that was happening Steve had pulled you into a tight hug, not letting you go for a good minute or two. “I missed this,” Steve let out a sigh when he finally let go. He moved a little bit closer to you when he saw the grin on your face that matched his own. “I missed you.” Your smile told him everything he needed to know, you had missed him too. 

In just a few minutes the two of you were talking and catching each other up on everything that had happened the past couple of months. You were both oblivious to Dustin, Will, Lucas, and Mike high fiving each other on top of the stairs at the sound of you two together once more. Not together together like they had wanted but they held out hope that maybe you’d get there one day.

[theseashellscenter]

Joel’s Inferno

So I just cooked up this ludicrous Game Theory-tier speculation comparing The Last of Us to Dante’s Inferno and now all I can do spread it around for whoever cares to see. It’s long as fuck so I’ll put it below a cut. I don’t think it actually has any basis in the devs’ intent but it was a fun thought exercise and made more sense the more I wrote. Gets real melodramatic at the end. Waste your time reading it at your own risk.

Playing through the game recently I began to think about how the story is constructed and how a progression of events leads the characters to their eventual conclusion. Essentially, it occurred to me that Joel and Ellie endure a series of increasing hardships which tests and strengthens their relationship before ultimately emerging on the other side together. The thought came to me that this could be compared to a story like Dante's Inferno, where the hero descends into Hell and experiences its worst depths before returning.

Then I started to wonder, could the game's events be directly compared to the nine circles of Hell? For those who don't know, the poem Dante's Inferno depicts Hell as being made up of nine circles, each corresponding to a sin and getting worse (both in terms of the sin and the punishment for the sin) as they go lower. I decided the most fitting way to compare them was for each circle to correspond to people Joel and Ellie meet on their journey.

Keep in mind this is just a thought experiment. As you'll be able to tell from how far many of these had to be stretched to fit, I don't think it was intentional. But I still thought it was an interesting concept.

Limbo: the first circle of Hell, for those who did not sin enough to be damned but also didn't accept God in order to be saved. Among them are unbaptized children, too young to know God but too innocent to go to Hell. This is the prologue of the game, ending with the death of Joel's daughter Sarah, and thus Joel's entry into Hell.

Lust: The early part of the game with Tess. Tess chooses to die out of dedication to the cause of Ellie and her immunity, and Joel initially continues escorting Ellie only in honor of Tess and their partnership together. Notably, one of her last lines is “Look, there's enough here that you have to feel some sort of obligation to me.” What “enough here” exactly means is never made explicit, and they may only have ever been fellow smugglers, but it's clear that at the time when the game begins Tess is the person Joel cares about most. This “obligation” between a man and a woman is the closest the game comes to depicting Lust, and it leads to Tess's death.

Gluttony: Bill's town. Bill is the fattest character in the game (possibly the only person with an out-of-shape build in the entire game, actually), a characteristic which Ellie derisively comments on during their scenes together. Fittingly, this is also where Joel first encounters a bloater, the name of which speaks for itself (and is ironically fought in a high school gym). While obesity may not seem like Bill's most notable flaw, it indirectly symbolizes the isolation and paranoia that defines him, as his reliance on traps to keep others away and do the fighting for him would allow him to avoid exerting himself more than necessary and his careless appearance suggests his disregard for the conventions of outsiders.

Greed: This is Sam. Though not greedy in the traditional sense, Sam shows a form of greed by desiring more than he should in the scene where he attempts to pick up a toy, for which Henry rebukes him with the saying “We only take what we have to.” This greed is a shorthand for the flaws Henry sees in Sam, which Sam is insecure about. These arguments lead Sam to resent his brother and cause him to hide his infection when he is bitten. His final activity before death, counting cans of food while the others are relaxing, demonstrates an opposite form of Greed to that of the toy scene. Sam hordes these items not because he personally desires them but because he thinks his brother will approve, a reversal which is reinforced when he despondently throws away the same toy after Ellie brings it to him.

Wrath: Henry. Henry is characterized largely by his unhappy relationship with his brother, who he views as disobedient and incapable and who he frequently criticizes for his errors. Though this behavior is motivated by love for his brother, whom he wants to keep safe, Sam only sees it as anger. He also first meets Joel and Ellie when he attacks them on sight, and is occasionally aggressive when Joel expresses doubt toward him. His last words are spoken in irrational anger, blaming Joel for the death of his brother before killing himself.

Heresy: Tommy, who Joel goes to in hope that he will bring Ellie to the Fireflies, only to find that Tommy abandoned their cause a long time ago (making him a heretic to their “faith”) and has taken up his own community (whom Joel mockingly refers to as “born again,” a phrase with religious associations). While Marlene can be heard in the opening credits telling people that “When you're lost in the darkness, look for the light,” suggesting the Fireflies as saviors, Tommy has found his own source of light – the electricity produced by the dam his community has restarted. Joel also says his split from Tommy was due to a difference in worldviews (which is reinforced during their argument, where Tommy says they “ain't back in Boston” and that his time surviving with Joel “wasn't worth it”), making him a heretic from Joel's way of life as well.

Joel himself shows a sort of Heresy during this section by attempting to leave Ellie behind, representing a trial of his own “faith” — his love for his daughter. The picture Tommy provides him of his daughter (which he turns down much like he is trying to send away Ellie) is the most obvious suggestion of the connection between the two up to this point. Toward the end of the section with Tommy, Joel at first appears to completely abandon his bond with her by telling her “You're not my daughter, and I sure as hell ain't your dad. And we are going our separate ways.” However, he resolves to stay with her shortly after, claiming that he is afraid of Tommy's wife and encouraging Tommy to stay with her and his community. In a sense, Joel attempts to restore Tommy's faith in his cause in order to escape the difficulties of his own, but he ultimately chooses to be faithful himself and let his brother remain a heretic.

Violence: David. David's section of the game contains four significant instances of violence (which is saying something, for a game as generally violent as this one). First is Joel's impalement, which occurs during Fall but was caused by combat with bandits who David later reveals are part of his group. Second is the revelation that David and his people are cannibals, a form of violence even further than anything seen up to this point, which connects them moreso with the infected than with other humans. Third is Joel's torture and killing of two of David's men, perhaps the first time we truly see extent of the brutality and even cruelty Joel is capable of. Lastly is Ellie's killing of David, an act so violent it isn't shown on screen and the trauma of which seems to finally seal her and Joel's devotion to one another. It also acts as counterpart to Joel's earlier violence, showing the great lengths both will go to when the other is in danger.

Fraud: Marlene and the Fireflies. From Joel's perspective, their choice to kill Ellie is a betrayal. This is fairly clear-cut; while they promise to help humanity, Joel can only see them as trying to destroy what he loves most, making them dishonest in his eyes. Joel also sees Marlene as breaking her promise to Ellie's mother to keep her safe. The Inferno classifies the worst frauds as “Falsifiers, those who attempted to alter things through lies or alchemy, or those who tried to pass off false things as real things.” Joel sees the Fireflies as unworthy heroes for humanity (impostors), trying to convert a girl's life into a cure (alchemy/counterfeiting). Just as these frauds are punished with disease in Hell, Joel massacres the occupants of a hospital, doctors included, takes away the only hope for a cure and condemns humanity to the cordyceps plague.

Treachery: The last circle and the worst sin, Treachery, is embodied by Joel himself. In the final scene he lies to Ellie about what happened with the Fireflies — a lie which Ellie may or may not recognize, but which marks a point from which they can never return, the final stage in their relationship. Before questioning Joel's story and making him swear it is the truth, Ellie tells him about how her friend Riley told her they would die together after being bitten, but as Ellie puts it, she's “Still waiting for [her] turn.” Both Riley and Joel have told her lies, but where the former was an effort to reassure her told out of ignorance of the harsh truth, Joel's was created with full awareness of what really happened and serves his own purposes more than Ellie's.

In trying to protect her from the trials of Hell, Joel's love for Ellie ultimately condemns him to its lowest depths.

Much like in Dante's Inferno, the successive layers of Hell are each reserved for worse sins. Sarah is the most innocent and nonthreatening character in the game; Tess, though capable of violence, is clearly a devoted ally to Joel; Bill is also an ally, but of a more begrudging kind; Sam and Henry are both friendly but unfamiliar, not entirely reliable and eventually self-destructive; Tommy, though by no means hostile, outright refuses to uphold Joel's request at first while Sam and Henry had been eager to cooperate; David pretends to be friendly but turns out to be an unhinged antagonist with some particularly reprehensible traits; the Fireflies are far more sympathetic and civilized but want to kill Ellie immediately, whereas David was obsessed with keeping her alive. Finally, the player realizes that all along they have been controlling the most dangerous character of all — and as our control shifts to Ellie in the last scene, we know he will never let us go so long as he lives, for better or for worse.

[classic-rock-roller]

1. Bonham’s not feeling right one morning when you’re getting ready for work, and she tells you she’s staying home. “I should be okay by tonight though, so don’t cancel our plans with Kevin and Randy.” You head out for work, and when you get done at about 4, you go up to check on her. She’s not in her room, and when you walk down the hallway you see the light on and the bathroom door hanging halfway open. You go over to knock on the door and see her lying on the floor, and the toilet bowl is full of blood. How do you respond?

I think I know what it is because I know my mom deals with this thing all the time. I don’t want to leave it in there so I grab a cardboard box and place whats in the toilet in it before helping her into the car to get her to the hospital and then calling Randy and Kevin on the way there.  

2. Your single with Kevin continues to grow in popularity even after it hits number one. None of you expected this, and Kevin comes to yours and Bonham’s house one day ecstatic. “We’re nominated for a Grammy!” How do you respond?

“Oh my god, Seriously! That’s great!” 

3. Your band is making a video, and you’re starting it with each member jumping forward through breaking glass. The rigs for everyone’s glass have worked so far, Bonham’s going next and you’re going last. You’re excited until Bonham’s rig malfunctions and she gets a faceful of broken glass. She goes off to get it fixed and the producer tells you, “Alright, your turn.” What do you do?

I’m a little nervous but I do it quickly and then go check on Bonham. 

4. You’re finally done with the tour with GNR and everyone is asked individually how it went. Everyone is fairly civil, but in his interview, Axl says, “It was fine overall, but I hate that singer, she can go fuck herself.” Bonham and Kevin are pissed and are talking about going after him. What do you do?

“You guys are not going after him. I haven’t had my interview yet and if they ask me about him I’m going to be civil. He wants a reaction. He’s not going to get one.” 

5. Bonham’s been staying with you and Kevin ever since Randy died because she’s afraid of what she’s capable of doing. You get home one day and hear yelling from the kitchen. You walk in and Bonham says to Kevin, “I can’t believe you! I held you in my arms and cried with you! How could you?” What did he do, how does he respond, and what happens once they see you?

He decided to get QR back together with Rudy and a new Drummer and Guitarist. “I don’t mean to be insensitive or an ass or anything but Rudy and I both want to to do this and we’re dedicating one song on the first album to Randy.” They’ both stop when they see me and then they’d both go, “Well what do you think of this brilliant/stupid idea?” 

6. You and Bonham have been speculating that Randy’s going to ask her to marry him, and he asks her one night to dress nice, they’re going on a date. You both squeal like sorority girls once she hangs up the phone, and you help her get ready. She leaves excitedly, and you go to Kevin’s to keep up the excitement. After about three hours you both head back to your house to hear the news, and you find Bonham on the couch in a ball by herself. What happened and what do you and Kevin do?

“He...he told me he had to break up with me because he’s going on tour with Ozzy.” “Oh, sweetheart.” I’d go over to her and hug her. “Do you want me to punch him? I’ll punch him.” Kevin goes before joining in hugging her. 

7. Your band just released a new album, and it sounds drastically different than your previous work. It’s doing well, and the producer of a children’s show approaches you to ask if they can use one of your songs as the opening theme. You tell them that you’ll have to ask your band before confirming. What do you tell your band and how do they react?

I tell the band and we’re all kind of surprised but say sure they can use it. We’re not exactly “child-friendly.” 

8. You and Bonham have great chemistry onstage, and everyone knows it. You get a call one day asking if you two want to guest star on a crime show, appearing as yourselves. What do you two do?

Of course, we go, we act horribly but who would say no to being on tv? 

9. You get a letter in the mail one day, and it’s from Axl. You’re with Kevin, Randy and Bonham, so you ask if you should open it. Bonham got one too, and she’s just opened it. It poofed in her face and she’s now covered in glitter. She looks at the letter and reads it, “Ship your enemies glitter, Love Axl.’ If yours is anything like mine, don’t open it.” She shakes her head and a blizzard of glitter falls from her hair. How do you , Kevin, and Randy respond?

Me: “Well, I won’t do it that way,” I go outside with a knife and carefully pry it open before bringing it back in. “Nope, mine says in big bold letters, “Die you fucker, die, die, die. He’s going a little overboard.”

Kevin: “I swear I’m going to kill him when I see him again. He better watch out.”

Randy: “He must really hate you. That’s unsettling and scary.”

Bonham: “He’s crazy and I’m with Kevin on this.” 

10. You watch Kevin and Randy jam at the bar with the two gentlemen and the sax player until it’s closing time for the bar. The gentlemen are very pleased as they tear down their gear, they’re complimenting Kevin on his singing skills, and you see the sax player go up to Randy. “You were phenomenal! I’ve never met someone as good as you anywhere!” Kevin comes up to you and says, “Look at them, it’s great. Let’s go bug ‘em” What does Randy say to the compliment, and what do you, Kevin, and the sax player say?

Randy: “Thank you, but I think there are plenty of other guitarists who are much better than me.”

Kevin: “Just take the compliment from the cute girl Randy.” 

Sax player: “But you are phenomenal.” 

Me: “Randy you are a phenomenal player. It’s true.” 

11. You, Kevin, Randy and Bonham walk into a restaurant for dinner one night and see the staff getting ready to sing for someone because it’s their birthday. Kevin says, “Awesome, let’s go sing with them.” You all do, and when the song finishes, Randy says, “Happy birthday, dude.” The table and staff turn around, surprised, and one of the guys at the table says, “No way, those are the guys from Quiet Riot! And the chicks from War Angel! Epic!” What happens next and how do you respond?

The birthday guy oddly enough just bought a QR record and a War Angel one and asks us to sign them for him. We sign them and wish him a happy birthday again. 

--------------------

1) Nikki and your singer have become super close again since doing the Crüe collab album. They’re always hanging out and have their heads together whispering about stuff. You and Kevin still don’t trust Nikki though and feel he’s going to try something. What do you and Kevin say to your singer?

2) You, Kevin, and Randy come over to your singer’s parents’ house and when she opens the door she says, “Sorry, it might be super crazy. My sister is having about ten teenage girls over for a sleepover tonight. We can go out somewhere if you’d like.” How do you, Kevin, and Randy respond? 

3) After taking your singer’s sister home, you go back to the tour bus. The day after your singer gets a call from her mom that he sister is missing. Your singer is pissed because she knows that her sister sneaked out to go with Axl. You track them down to a hotel and your singer grabs her sister before ripping Axl a new one for taking advantage of her. How do you, Axl, and your singer’s sister respond?

4) Kevin is really jealous of how close your singer and Nikki are. One day, Nikki gets a little too close for Kevin’s liking and Kevin ends up punching him which starts an all-out brawl. How do you, your singer, Mick, Tommy, Vince, and your band react?

5)  You come over to your singer and Kevin’s house to make smores with the four kids. Once you arrive and the four kids are roasting marshmallows, Will comes up for his graham cracker and asks, “Where’s the chocolate?” Your singer looks to Mal and Kevin, “Well two people ate about twenty chocolate bars in two days.” How do you, Kevin, and Mal react? 

6) Your singer somehow got tickets for you, Randy, and Kevin to see and meet AC/DC. After the show, you go backstage and your singer gushes to Brian Johnson, “You guys were great. You sounded amazing.” Kevin then comes up and says, “It sounded like you smoked two whole packs and gargled marbles before going on.” How do Brian, you, Randy, and your singer respond?

7) You and your singer are in an interview and the interviewer asks if your singer went to school. She responds, “Yes, I have my bachelors in Early Childhood and Special Education.” You can see the interviewer’s surprise and he says, “You can teach? How do the parents feel about having a foul-mouthed rockstar teaching their kids?” How do you and your singer respond?

8) You and your band are at a huge benefit concert and Van Halen is one of the acts there. Randy and Kevin are also there because QR is performing as well. Your singer is talking with Eddie while you are talking to Randy and Kevin. Kevin keeps looking at them and goes, “I’m going to go over there.” Eventually, he does and drapes himself all over your singer. How does your singer react and what do you and Randy say to Kevin when he comes back?

9) You and your singer are walking with your kids. You’re walking through a park and she has her newborn son Eddie in a stroller. While walking past a group of old ladies, you hear one whisper, “I feel bad for those kids. Their moms have too many tattoos.” How do you and your singer respond?

10) Your singer and Kevin have a cat that she named Nikki Jr. (after the one you and her had at your apartment) and this annoys Kevin to no end, so he hates the cat. You go over to their house one day to find newborn Eddie laying on the couch with the cat curled up with him. Your singer asks Kevin to check and see if Eddie needs a diaper change and when Kevin goes to pick Eddie up, Nikki hisses and swats at him. How do you, your singer, and Kevin respond?

11) You’ve just had your son and your singer has been helping you so Randy hasn’t really held your son all that much. One day he picks him up and holds him arm's length away, “How am I supposed to hold him again?” How do you and your singer respond?  

12) Your singer thinks it’d be a great idea to have the kids fingerpaint father’s day cards. You set up the paint and place all four kids at the table with newspapers spread out. You and your singer are in the kitchen getting lunch together and soon your singer looks into the dining room and whispers, “Oh my fucking god.” You follow her into the dining room to find Four-year-old Eddie and three-year-old Jeremy both painting on the walls. What do you and your singer do?

@osbournebemydaddy  your move Bonham, love,