#i can shoot three birds at the same time

[understanding-hold-on]

you know it is so funny seeing english discourse about what books are good and what aren't and what children books should contain in them while I in Kazakhstan genuinely cannot find a book in Kazakh that would interest me.

Like yes there are always the classics but sometimes I do not want to read a historical-drama-tragedy. I do not want to read yet another translation.

I just want to read something I can relate to in my mother tongue. I just want to read about some silly teen doing silly stuff and getting into silly situations in Kazakh. Something that I would actually want to understand and translate and understand the plot of where the main hero is not another middle-aged man fighting against the world.

And then maybe there is someone doing that! The book might be lying in a bookshop but everything is so expensive and I just want to read something from my phone and I would even pay for the god-forsaken pdf, BUT THERE IS NO SITE. THERE IS NOTHING.

[seouljazzbar]

BUNK 19

SONG EUNSEOK (송은석)

☆ BUNK 19

ABOUT 𓂃 ࣪˖ what happens in bunk 19 does in fact stay in bunk 19. and the boathouse. and the dining hall. and the tennis courts. and the counselor jacuzzi.

WARNING 𓂃 ࣪˖ language, fake camp name, aespa + nct appearances, a smidge of angst, penetrative sex (f. receiving, both vaginal and anal), lots of spitting, a challengers reference if you squint, object insertion (do not try this at home), unprotected sex, daddy kink, random fluff, two seconds of physical violence

PAIRING 𓂃 ࣪˖ camp counselor!eunseok x camp counselor!reader (camp counselor au, summer fling to...?)

WORD COUNT 𓂃 ࣪˖ 8k of wickedness

THIS FIC FEELS LIKE 𓂃 ࣪˖ buzzin by shwayze

“Who else is here?”

It was the first question out of Eunseok’s mouth when he got settled into his cabin for the summer: bunk nineteen. That was the very first bunk he stayed in when he became a counselor freshman year of university. Now a recent graduate, this was going to be his last summer at Camp Watauga before entering the workforce. He intended to soak up every minute of it with no regrets.

“The staff are filtering in slowly, but not too many counselors just yet. You, Mark, and ___.” 

His ears perked up at the mention of your name, but he kept a cool exterior. “Oh, really? Not too many indeed.” His hands made home in his pockets as Director Irwin led him to the main hall. There was nothing but the echo of footsteps and birds chirping just outside as they walked to the break room, and that’s when he heard it. Your voice. 

Mark was laughing at something you said, something Eunseok missed entirely. “Hi, ___. Mark.”

You spun on your heels without thinking twice, eyebrows shooting up at the sight of all five eight and eleven inches of him. He looked different— hair lighter, jaw sharper, shoulders wider. But you didn’t let yourself focus on him for more than the appropriate amount of time to stare at your coworker: one and a half seconds, exactly. “Eunseok, hey!” Your tone was light, casual. Easy breezy.

“Alright, well now that you’re all checked in, you’re free to roam! Kitchen’s doing meals same time as regular camp hours, if you get hungry. Just, please, no illegal substances where I can see ‘em. I wanna be able to keep plausible deniability.”

Director Irwin left without a glance back at the three of you, all of you erupting into a fit of giggles the second you heard the door shut. “Dude, he’s so funny without even trying to be.” Mark nudged at your shoulder, looking at Eunseok with a goofy grin on his face. “Right?”

“Yeah, I always forget just how weird he gets,” Eunseok returned the smile, looking over to see if you were smiling too. That gorgeous, sparkling smile. “What are you two gonna get into for the rest of the day? At least until dinner.”

Mark stretched his hands in the air, his shirt riding up just enough to expose his taut abs. Eunseok noticed your eyes on Mark’s skin, your teeth sinking into your lower lip. “I was thinking about going into town, getting a couple cases of beer or something for the kickback tomorrow night. Minjeong, Jimin, and Haechan get in tomorrow and we’re gonna have a pre-camp rager. You guys down?”

“Ooh, I’m always down for a party with Jimin. She knows how to let loose.” You winked at Mark, blush instantly striking his cheeks.

“Alright, cool, I’ll make sure to get enough then,” His head turned over to Eunseok, “What about you, bro?”

A party was not his plan for tomorrow night, but he figured it’d be easier to play along for now. “Yeah, sounds fun,” He pulled his sunglasses down over the bridge of his nose, “I like Modelo.”

Mark laughed, heartily. He was so easily amused. “Alright, I’ll catch y’all at dinner?” He was out the door after two quick side-hugs, shaking his keys all the way to his car. The engine was loud as it started up, and you could hear the car shifting its way up the gravel driveway. The hall was quiet otherwise, just the smacking of Eunseok’s chewing gum, the minty peppermint wafting far enough for you to smell it on his breath. 

You moved first, pushing him by the shoulder as he kept his arms crossed against his chest. “Oh, c’mon. You can’t really think I want Mark.”

“Coulda fooled me.”

“I mean, he’s cool and all. And really hot, but… you’re sluttier.”

Eunseok rolls his eyes, closing the gap between the two of you, caging you against one of the break benches. “Hm, that’s it? You only want me because you think I’m a sure thing? Well I never!”

You giggle, glancing around the break room before swooping in for a kiss. Sweet, soft lips that you had been dreaming about for nine long months. His sunglasses smushed against your face but you ignored the slight discomfort as his hands found your ass. A handful for each of his palms, fingers kneading into each cheek with appreciation. You could feel your nipples hardening against his chest, the paper thin material of your bra heightening the sensation of his firm pecs. Eunseok was making you all warm and fuzzy again. “I missed you.”

“Yeah? You sure? Sure you didn’t miss Mark Lee more?”

“You’re so annoying! Wasting valuable time talking about a nonissue.”

His hands spread your cheeks apart just barely, just enough for you to take notice. “Valuable time? What else do you reckon we could be doing right now?”

Your mouth fell open as he kissed along your jawline. “W-Well I was thinking…”

“Mhm?”

He took a detour down your neck, floating right to your sweet spot just beneath your earlobe. “The counselor cabins are really close by, i-if you’re free.” Keeping your eyes open was a chore as he nipped at the skin of your neck erotically. “Eunseok, seriously. We’re gonna get caught.”

“What, that doesn’t turn you on anymore?” His palm revved back to strike your ass, squeezing afterwards to soothe the skin. “You know I’m always free for you, ___.”

Eunseok could smell your arousal through the thin material of your panties and shorts, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as all the blood in his body rushed to the front of his pants. Any notion of taking it slow with you went out the window as he grabbed your wrist, pulling you in the direction of BUNK NINETEEN. Since Mark had already started his journey into town and Director Irwin never left the movie room during his downtime, Eunseok didn’t feel the need to be sneaky while getting you into his cabin.

Sure, there were unspoken rules about how awkward it would be to have counselors wreaking sexual havoc for three months straight, but nothing in the handbook. The secrecy derived from how private both you and Eunseok were with your personal lives. It was nobody’s business who you were fucking, and if you two ever decided to stop, you didn’t want relative strangers feeling emboldened to ask questions. Plus, the sneaking around made everything that much hotter.

The cabins had been updated in recent years, and with that came much needed aesthetic and technological improvements. A few touches made the bunks a little less shabby chic and a bit more glamping. It was still ‘granola’, so to speak, but the doors locked automatically behind you. The interior was softer around the edges, no chances of splinters or wolf spiders keeping you up at night. Eunseok had made sure to make up his bed when he first unpacked an hour or so ago, knowing that he’d have company in the form of his summer lover.

“Cute sheets.” They were the same sheets he’d brought to camp for the last four years, with a flower you’d embroidered for each year you and Eunseok had done camp as counselors together. Three wacky looking blossoms in different colors with the years stitched beneath them, a little reminder of your place in his life. You couldn’t wait to add this year’s.

“Thanks, this girl I’m seeing really likes stabbing at it every year.”

He grabbed onto your arm as you shoved at his chest, pulling you into him. “Shut up, you like it.”

“Never said I didn’t like it.” His mouth was warm against yours, lips still wet from the kiss in the break room. Your nerve endings were on fire now that it was truly just the two of you, no chance of being interrupted. Swallowing the taste of your cherry cola lip gloss, a long lasting favorite that Eunseok mentioned liking the first time the two of you kissed back when you were mere campers. A clumsy, barely there kiss during a game of spin the bottle. ‘Wow, delicious’ he said offhandedly, making everyone giggle and making you quite popular with the guys that summer. Everyone wanted to get a taste of your fizzy lipsmackers. “Tastes so good.”

Your cheeks ached as you smiled involuntarily, his compliment flying straight to your ego. The idea that he craves you when you’re apart made you feel powerful beyond comprehension. “What, none of your little Stanford groupies wear lipsmackers?”

“What groupies?” His slightly calloused hands eased up your torso, fiddling with the fabric of your bralette to roll it up above your chest. Your breasts felt so heavy in his hands, full and swollen just waiting for him to play with. “No groupies. Just the memory of you and my right hand.”

He lifted your shirt clean off of your body, leaving your chest exposed to the balmy air of the cabin. “I always took you for a lefty.”

Another fit of laughter befell the two of you as he pinched your hip, kissing you with resumed passion. The way the sunlight hit you through the moss colored blinds made his heart skip a beat, the golden flecks in your skin glittering for him with radiance. “Take off your shorts for me. Slowly.” 

A string of saliva fell onto your chin as you stepped away from him, eyes on his that were already watching you as your hands pushed down atop your cotton shorts. You were slow, following his instructions exactly and leaving your panties on underneath. The material hit the wooden floor with a dense thud, your gaze never leaving Eunseok. Your bralette rested awkwardly beneath your armpits for just a few more moments, Eunseok moving just enough to pull it off for you. And there you stood, almost completely naked in your Birkenstocks while he was fully dressed in his usual Camp Watauga garb. “You’re a siren sent for my demise.”

He was sincere, eyes glinting in their candor. “You’re spoiling me.”

“Because you deserve it.” Eunseok kicked his shoes off as he walked the two of you to the bed, his touch tender as your back hit the mattress, careful not to bump into you roughly. The wet patch of your underwear was blatantly obvious as he got a flash between your legs, and it turned him on even more to know you were just as worked up as he was. “What do you do when you think about me?”

You shuddered under the intensity of his leer. “W-what makes you so sure I think about you?”

Eunseok scoffs, lowering his hips to press them square against yours. “Please, I’ve heard the audio messages you send me at two in the morning. You’re so wet the microphone picks it up. I swear, the way you cry into your phone just thinking about what I’d do to you is louder than how you get when I’m actually with you.”

The feeling of his cock swelling against your thigh made you wrap your legs around his hips, locking him flush against you; nothing but thin panties and his basketball shorts keeping you from what you really came here for. “Mm, okay, so what. You win. I think about you. You get my fingers nice and sticky.”

“So show me… tell me what you think about.” He sat back to pull his shirt off, chest exposing a well hidden surprise. 

Your fingers flitted across his nipples, both of them sporting little silver hoops pierced through them. “Woah, Seokie, I had no idea how hardcore you were.” In the roughly forty weeks that you were apart, he’d gotten drunk on a night out and got his nipples pierced.

“Make fun all you want, but I know you like ‘em.” Your tongue replaced your curious thumbs, swirling around the jewelry like you were trying to find the center of a tootsie pop. Eunseok’s hips undulated your drenched underwear while you got lost in sucking his pecs, giving each one equal attention until tugging at one with your teeth. He hissed, bucking against your pussy harshly at the sting. “Ah, fuck, ___. That hurt.”

Kiss swollen lips all moistened, you pulled away from Eunseok’s chest with a sardonic grin. “What, that doesn’t turn you on anymore?” 

His hands shoot out to pin your thighs to the bed, leaving your cunt exposed for him to grind against in a choppy rhythm. “You’re feeling feisty today, aren’t you?”

“Just like messing with you, s’all.”

Eunseok wasn’t in any mood to punish you, using his fingers to feel the outline of your pussy lips through the flimsy cotton. “I’ll give you a pass. Reunion immunity, or whatever.”

“Thank you, daddy.” 

He was instantly smug at the name rolling off your tongue, chest swelling with pride as you pawed at the waist of his basketball shorts. “Can only call me that if you’re gonna be good the whole time. Are you gonna be good?”

Eyes aglow with mischief, teeth sinking into your bottom lip, you nodded. It was hard to promise obedience when you were so used to being defiant with him, so used to being a brat because Eunseok always has so much fun taming you. But you’d try, if it was what he wanted from you.

“Wanna hear you say it for me, darling.”

His fingers were no longer idle by his side, instead cupping your mound as he waited for you to speak. “I’ll be good, daddy, I promise.” A sharp tug at your panties threatened to tear them but he stopped his movements just in time. Your wetness was the star of the show, glistening in the bright light of day for Eunseok to relish in. Basking in just how riled up you were, leaking with arousal without him really getting to touch you. He slid your panties down your legs, tossing them just over the edge of the mattress so you wouldn’t have to go searching for them later. “Wan’ you to finger me.”

“Thought I told you to play with yourself for me,” Another gush of wetness dribbled out of your core as he blew at it. “Though it doesn’t look like you really need it, you could take it all in one thrust.” 

You pulled at the hem of his shorts so they’d hang lower on his hips, the base of his cock visible from the way they hit his thighs. “But, daddy, I want it.”

“You’re so full of it, ___, you said you’d be good for me,” Eunseok pushed away from you just long enough to pull his basketball shorts off. “You’re awfully greedy, like you haven’t been fucked properly in far too long.”

His cock bobbed as it was released, twitching at attention while you drooled at the sight of it. “It’s been so long, Seok.”

Eunseok decided in that moment to give you what you’d been begging for, slathering his cock in the wetness that was smeared across your pussy lips. He was completely soaked in you without even putting it in yet. “Think you can take it all, baby?”

He knew you could, you’d been taking his cock like a sleeve for the past four years. But watching your bottom lip quiver in anticipation, nails gripping into the mattress, arms propping yourself up so you could have an unobstructed view to him fucking you open; it made him want to perform for you, give you something mouthwatering to remember him by. 

Your body welcomed him like it had a hundred times over. It felt like coming home, having him stuffed inside you again after dreaming about it for so long. Eunseok always fit so perfectly inside of you, like you were a match made in heaven blessed to find each other in this lifetime. Your mewls were a forgotten melody against his ears, his stomach turning at the sight of you underneath him again. “More.”

“Take what I’m giving you like a good slut and I’ll give you more.” Your nose was buried in his neck as his body caged you against the mattress— completely drenched in him as his skin fused to yours, the slight tackiness of sweat emboldening the waves of Eunseok enveloping your senses. That winsome and creamy essence would always remind you of his hips grinding against yours, deep and slow just to tease you. Just to make you gasp out beneath him and beg for more. And begging wouldn’t be a problem if he wasn’t so damn cocky.

Eunseok was so good at talking you through his strokes, the vibrations of his voice louder against your chest than he was in your ear. It was so easy for him to make your mind feel all fuzzy just by being around you, that sweet peach smell so specific to him. You liked being so inundated by him, liked feeling like you were drowning in a sea of nothing but him all the time. Loved not knowing where he ended and you began because he was just so all consuming. You loved being his. “You look so beautiful like this.” Your breath caught in your throat, fingernails digging into his bicep as his lips ghosted your cheek. You were convinced he’d never felt this good before. “So pretty.”

“Fuck me hard,” your voice was whiny and pathetic, just the way Eunseok liked it (even when you were defying him). “I’ll be prettier— I-I’ll be prettier if you fuck me harder.”

Something flashed across his face far too quickly for you to catch it, his eyes widening just for a moment as he faltered from the leisurely pace he’d set. Eunseok was trying his hardest to be a little gentler with you since so much of your sex life was rough and fast. He didn’t mind slowing things down and showering you with a bit more affection and flowery sweet nothings. But he was only so strong, couldn’t resist you pleading with him, voice so desperate. How could he possibly deny you when you asked him like that?

His hips snapped forward as your hands snaked down his back, mouth cracking open at the delicious change in rhythm. “Yeah? Want me to fuck you dizzy?”

A whimper escaped your throat as one of his thumbs flicked at your pert nipple, toying with it like he usually toyed with your clit. “Fuck me dizzy, daddy,” His jaw clenched as you spoke, your tongue licking at the shell of his ear like you had dozens of times before. “I'll be so good for you, please.”

The bed creaked obnoxiously as he forced your legs back as far as they could go, pinning them out of his way so there was nothing holding him back from absolutely battering your cunt. You were certain that the wet smacking sound of his hips meeting your soaked center could be heard from just outside the cabin. Your body was suddenly hotter, the air thick with humidity, sex and oh so sweet Eunseok. It was moments like these where you thought you’d do absolutely anything for him, no matter how dark, if it meant he’d drill into you like this whenever you wanted. You’d consider signing your life away to be his own personal cocksleeve.

“Gonna fuck you ‘til you can’t walk anymore. Show Mark that you’re taken.”

With the way he was fucking into you, that wasn’t too far off. He shifted his weight to his knees so he could wrap his hands around your hips, dragging your body down on his cock in time with his thrusts. Your stomach coiled with hot orgasmic bliss as he angled his hips to rub your clit with each thrust, the pressure taking over your entire body in the form of mind-numbing pleasure.

“Yes, yes, yes.” Your body twisted in on itself as he pinched your nipples, applying just enough force to throttle you over the edge. “Fuck!” His lips met yours in a heated kiss that you were too fucked out to reciprocate, just moans and whimpers tumbling out as he licked into your mouth.

You were barely restored from your orgasm before he was bucking into you again. “Tell me, ___, tell me about the guys you slept with while you were waiting for me.”

“E-Eunseok!” It wasn’t a secret that you weren’t committed to one another, but telling him the details was going too far. You certainly didn’t want to hear about all of the girls he was railing at Stanford. “Too embarrassing…”

He stilled your hips flush against his pelvis, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix. “Tell me, or I’ll stop altogether.”

Catching your breath, gasping for air you didn’t even really know you were deprived of, you opened your eyes to face his demand, “It was only two, I swear.”

Eunseok grunted, resuming his thrusts with exaggerated force. “Were they keeping you satisfied?” Your cheeks burned with embarrassment, not wanting to think about the meaningless hookups that you only went through with because you were horny. “Or were they greedy? Huh? Were they taking care of my baby the way I do?”

“Mnh, no! The first guy was terrible, nothing compared to you.”

He slowed his thrusts, gripping onto your thighs a bit harder. “And the second guy?” You didn’t respond as quickly as you had the first time. In fact, you didn’t speak up at all. Eunseok was starting to think you didn’t hear him.

“Ma— The second guy was… he took care of me, daddy.”

Eunseok wasn’t expecting you to say that at all. He was expecting you to wax on about how nobody was better than him, but this threw a wrench in his plans. “Turn around, get on all fours.” His cock slipped out of you unceremoniously, his jaw clenching as you scrambled to turn over.

“I’m sorry, Seok, it didn’t mean anything.” 

He folded you in on yourself, leaving your ass perched in the air for Eunseok to play with as he saw fit. His cock lodged back in your cunt in one motion, filling you to the brim like he’d never pulled out. Your cries were muffled by the pillow your face was pressed up against, arms limp above the mattress as Eunseok fucked you like a rag doll. All of your neurons were short circuiting at the same time, leaving you a braindead slut for your camp boyfriend’s fat cock. Drool soaked the pillowcase beneath you, and it only made Eunseok laugh at your tremors of pleasure. 

“Remember what I taught you last summer?” His deft fingers fluttered just over your puckered hole, laughing as he watched you jerk at the featherlight touch. “Yeah?”

A rivulet of his saliva dripped onto your hole, his index finger stretching through the ring of muscle. The fit was tight and you arched your back at the intrusion, a shaky moan rolling off your tongue. “E-Eunseok…”

He was still thrusting into your cunt shallowly, rocking forward just enough to prolong the pleasure. “Don’t tell me,” His long fingers slapped your opening harshly, sending down another glob of spit. “Was all our training for nothing? Am I the only one who’s fucked you here?” One more dribble for your entrance before he added another finger, pressing them against your walls that were still wrapped around his cock. “Hm? Am I the one and only, baby?”

You whimpered at the memory, his fat cock splitting you open in a way you’d always swore you’d never do. But he was just so charming and intoxicating, his charisma your fatal weakness— you’d never dream of saying no to Song Eunseok. 

“Y-yes. You’re the only one.”

He loved that answer. He wasn’t stupid, he knew you were fucking people the other three seasons out of the year. But there was a very large part of him that took pride in knowing there was something reserved just for the two of you, something no one else got to experience with you. It made him slip his cock even further inside of you, testing out a third finger as you bit into the pillow beneath you. “That’s what I like to hear, baby,” Gliding his cock out of your heat and tapping the tip against your hole, gaped open by his fingers that were still pressed inside. “You ready for me?”

You nodded slowly, nervous to take him after such a long time without it. “Slowly, Eunseok. I’m scared.”

Eunseok ducked his head so his lips were pressed right against your ear, “Baby, you know I’m always gentle with this one.” His free hand wrapped around your ponytail, pulling you towards him to arch your back at just the right angle. You barely registered the switch from his fingers to the head of his cock, his touch so delicate and the added gloss from your juices making it so seamless. “God, baby, you’re so hot.” His hand snaked around to your breasts to fondle them as a distraction to his length sliding deeper inside of you.

“Oh, fuck,” so that’s what you had been missing this past year, “oh, Seok, I’m so full.”

He’s never been shy around you, groaning out curses and moaning your name as he so pleases. His voice sends vibrations through your head, and all you can focus on is trying to breathe right. You were so overwhelmed with the feeling of Eunseok inside of you, you felt like you were pulsating. His hand in your hair tugged at you so you’d turn towards him, whining into your mouth before locking you in a sweet kiss that tastes like peach rings. “I’ve thought about this… everyday for the last nine months.”

That was true, or at least you wholeheartedly believed it. Very rarely, once every few months or so, Eunseok would text you into the wee hours of the morning, checking to see if you were awake. And every single time, you were. It was like you could sense that he was going to text you, your body wide awake until the very moment the text came through. It always ends with the two of you on the phone, talking each other through a filthy orgasm or two. You’d actually catch up once you finished, mesmerized by the facets of his life that you’d never seen before. And then you wouldn’t hear from him for another two or three months.

And when the wait was over, you were back in his arms, breathing in the sweat canvasing his body as he fucked you like his own personal toy. You were so pliable, so obedient, so in sync with his every desire; you were the high he chased September through May.

“Put your fingers in your pussy.” A quick slap to your ass before grabbing onto it, “you were dying for it earlier, go ‘head.”

You didn’t even have to move your fingers once they were inside of you, Eunseok’s thrusts providing enough friction to stimulate your g-spot. “Oh, fuck, baby, I’m gonna cum.”

Pumping two fingers inside of yourself, Eunseok added two of his own as he rubbed at your clit ruthlessly, thrusting into your ass still just as deep as before. The wave crept up on you in an unforgiving crescendo that raptured your soul from your body. Your body convulsed uncontrollably, hips thrashing against Eunseok as you squirted all over the sheets. The fingers crooked inside of you were a mess, covered in both your juices and cream from fucking yourself on them. You could just barely hear Eunseok hissing at how tightly your ass was squeezing him.

Eunseok was able to hold off on his own climax, thrusting shallowly into you until your tremors subside. “Felt good?” He took the risk of ruining his camp shirt by wiping his cock down with it, leaving your holes filthy and empty as he took an intermission for cleanup. “I thought about you every night at school, wishing my hand was you. Imagining pumping your sweet little pussy to the brim with my cum. Or painting your pretty face with it. Sometimes both,” His fingers curled inside of you and your eyes flittered shut. “Would think about you in my dreams, too, fuck. Had to jerk off before class because you’d get me so worked up.”

When Eunseok got like this— messy, generous, overruled by lust— there was no stopping him. You knew that you were effectively out of commission for the rest of the day.

The marathon fuck-fest went on for all three days you had before camp started, sneaking away to grab food at the very end of meal times, doing everything in your power to avoid everyone else. The days spoiled you, the reality of the situation escaping you until you were forcefully faced with it. The beginning of camp meant having no time designated for private moments tucked away with Eunseok. It was all about finding time throughout the day for stolen kisses, coordinating bathroom breaks so he could finger you hastily, slinking out on late night smoke sessions with Haechan and Minjeong to ride Eunseok until you passed out. The only guaranteed time you had with Eunseok was after campground curfew if you weren’t on cabin watch.

The nightly routine was the same— at eleven o’clock on the dot, you were knocking on his cabin door. The lights were already off but Eunseok would take the time to make sure every single light including the porch one was out. That’s when he’d open the door, just enough to peek out and ensure no one was watching before pulling you inside. It was the same for when you left, and all the hoops you had to jump through was just part of the fun. Having a three step plan before even being able to kiss him was worth it when he put his hands on your body, lips on your skin, knees knocking yours. He was yours only in private moments, but yours nonetheless.

Eunseok kissed you like you were the antidote to his incurable desire, and that wasn’t something you were willing to give up (even if you couldn’t tell anyone). But this summer was all about risks, evidently, as the two of you were quick to jump each other’s bones all across the campgrounds. Something about the looming threat of never being back at Watauga again made the two of you much more willing to test your luck.

THE BOATHOUSE

Your panties in your mouth was the only way you were able to muffle all the noises you were making, your ass sore from the way Eunseok was fucking into you. There wasn’t a sturdy enough surface for you to grab out for so you settled for pressing your hands against the wall, eyes trained on the rest of the counselors outside. The window was tinted, and small enough that they wouldn’t be able to see anything, but you couldn’t help but wonder; did they know? Know the reason you and Eunseok stepped away at the same time? 

“Look at them. So clueless. Minjeong has no idea you’re getting your little pussy pounded right now.” His head rested in the crook of your neck, careful not to leave any hickies with his kisses.

“Oh, please, Seok, let me cum.”

The vibrations from his laughter permeated through your skin, “you wanna cum? Play with your clit for me. Rub it like I would.” Your eyes rolled back so far you were sure you’d go cross eyed, scorching hot bliss consuming your body as your orgasm swallowed you whole. The fear of being caught was the greatest aphrodisiac Eunseok had ever served you, the feeling reaching down to the tips of your toes as you curled them in rapture. “I know, baby, I know.” Quick fingers swirling around your clit as you spasmed on his cock, his own legs buckling in weakness. His arms wrapped around your torso, keeping you steady as cum spilled right into your cervix. 

He pulled out before he went soft, cum hitting the floor with a quiet splat. You turned at the sound, mouth ajar as he looked back at you with eyes wide as saucers. “Eunseok!”

THE DINING HALL

It wasn’t on purpose, but you definitely didn’t stop him from peppering kisses along your neck and jaw as you filled the juice dispenser with ice. You wouldn’t bother getting fully undressed, lulling articles of clothing to the side amidst the grinding and heavy petting before he entered you smoothly. “So good for me, letting me fuck you out here.” His hands clasped atop yours as you gripped the dining hall counter, the prettiest gasp torn from your throat as he bottomed out. 

Eunseok’s chin rested in the juncture of your neck and shoulder, warm breathing fanning the side of your face as your eyes screwed shut from the pleasure. His arms move to wrap around your neck as you let your head fall back onto the table, mewls slipping past your lips as he rammed against your g-stop. “Feels good baby? Want more?”

You frantically nod because you could never say no to more from him, back arching as his hands fondle every erogenous zone he could reach; nipples, chest, lower tummy, inner thighs. That paired with his deep thrusts sends you over the edge briskly, your cup of bug juice spilling over from the way you were thrashing in his hold. Your orgasm triggers his own, his teeth sinking into you as he fills you up to the brim. 

THE TENNIS COURT

Twice a session, Camp Watauga organized Field Trip Day. No counselors ever want to go on the first trip, but you and Eunseok were smart— make the sacrifice for the first trip so that you both could hang back together when all the other counselors had to go on the second trip. It was the smartest thing you’d done in all your years at Watauga. The campgrounds were like a deserted island, just you, Eunseok, a few staffers, and a first year counselor whose name you kept forgetting.

“Would you let me fuck you with a racket?”

You didn’t need too much time to think about it. “Mm, a fresh one, yeah. If you really wanted to.”

Eunseok dug his hand through the duffel bag he brought out with him, “Like the brand new one I washed this morning just in case you said yes?” He wasn’t kidding. “I wrapped it in a clean towel to be extra safe.”

“Okay, I was under the impression the question was hypothetical.”

His head tilted to the side as he shrugged, a little embarrassed to be shot down so quickly. “It still can be. But I really want to.”

“How thick is that thing, anyway?”

A wicked smile spread across his lips— he knew he had you. “It’s thinner than my dick, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

And he was right, your skirt pulled up and your panties to the side testing your entrance with the edge of the racket. Your pussy opened up for him slowly, taking every centimeter of the racket that he sank into you as he tested the waters. Light, precise thrusts to get your body used to the feeling. “Feels…” 

“Good? Do you want me to keep going, or do you wanna stop?” Eunseok halted his movements as he waited for you to respond, smiling like he’d won the lottery when you urged him to continue. “Be as loud as you want, baby, no one can hear us out here.”

Out on the tennis court, the very one you used to play on when you were a camper, you let your guard down. You leaned back into Eunseok’s chest, head resting on his shoulder as he worked you open with the racket. The ripples of pleasure already had you squirming in his hold, having to force yourself to calm down— he was just getting started. With Eunseok wrapped around you taking care of your sodden folds, you crept your hands beneath your shirt to fondle your breasts. The attention made your hips buck into the racket, a sharp cry soaring from your throat. “Fuck, the felt good. Aim it higher.” He did as he was told, in awe of your transformation from hesitant to in charge. The grooves on the handle added extra sensation, that soft spongy spot flourishing under all of the attention the racket was giving it. Your orgasm was rushing in on you hard and fast, and you couldn’t stop yourself from fucking the racket back. “Faster, fuck, right there! ‘M so close.”

Eunseok altered his position before granting you your demand, fisting the racket handle with one hand and caressing your clit with the other. You were unreservedly exposed to the woods before you, but the way you were spreading your legs suggested that you didn’t care. Another gush of wetness leaked out of you at the thought of a random hiker seeing you splayed open like this, drinking in your pussy like a pervert. You were gluttonous, your appetite for euphoria unappeasable; it was complete benediction that you’d found Eunseok to not fulfill your desires, but tempt you with entirely new ones.

“Give it to me, angel,” A string of spit dripped from his lips onto your cunt, “Wanna see you cum all over this racket like the hungry little slut you are.”

It was the kind of orgasm where you thought you might die, the ecstasy too much for your body to handle. Bathed in direct sunlight, heart racing like a marathoner, brain utterly devoid of any thoughts other than Eunseok, Eunseok, Eunseok! 

The racket slipped out of you naturally as Eunseok loosened his grip and your seizing pussy pushed it out. Eunseok was hard as a rock as he watched you come to, your sweaty palms reaching out for him. “Just so you know,” your voice was hoarse from all the screaming, “I would’ve never let those other guys put a racket in me.”

THE JACUZZI

The perfect goodbye, in Eunseok’s words, was a tryst in the coveted counselor jacuzzi that required special permission from Director Irwin. “We won’t have to ask if we go while he’s asleep.” And just like everything he’d ever talked you into, you couldn’t say no to Song Eunseok.

Eunseok was already waiting for you at the jacuzzi when you arrived, arms spread out against the rim as the beginning flecks of sunrise teased the horizon.

It felt different than all the other times you guys had been together, except one— your first time with him. Neither of you were virgins when it happened, but he was so tender with his every touch. Gentle with the way he spoke to you, soft in the way he praised you. Sleeping together sprang from carnal desire, but his manifested delicately. All of those feelings came flooding back as he talked you through this time, lips sucking on your earlobe as you twirled your hips with his. Hands pressed to your back, tongue crying out about how beautiful you were. It gave you déjà vu. 

And there, with your cheeks flushed and your hair pulled away from your face. With sweat dotting your hairline and your lips three shades darker. It had never been clearer to him. “I love you,” The sound of the jets in the water almost muffled him. “And I don’t want you to say anything just yet, alright? I really want you to think about it because I really think you might be the love of my life, and I don’t wanna rush through that. Just… think about it.”

Your head bobbed in understanding, not knowing how to just continue after a confession like that.

“Alright, let’s get out of here. Before someone catches us.”

It was the only time Eunseok had ever left you high and dry, and you were too frazzled to finish yourself off. You walked back to your cabin in a trance, combing over every moment you’d spent with him under a microscope. He loves you. Not just into you or in love with having sex with you. He loves you.

There wasn’t much for you to think about, but you’d already decided to humor him. You’d take the rest of the day leading up to the going away party to ‘ponder’. 

The annual (unofficial) going away party for the counselors always took place in the woods, keeping the debauchery far away from the campers who liked to test their luck with curfew since it was the end of the summer. It was a childish celebration of all the time spent at Camp Watauga, but you wanted to entertain it, anyway. It was your last summer, after all.

Eunseok didn’t want to play Never Have I Ever, knowing that it was gonna leave him hungover the next morning since everyone liked to play dirty. He resigned to finishing his drink leaned up against a tree, soaking in the picture of all of you together for the last time. Sure, he was staying on the East Coast, but it wasn’t a guarantee that he’d be able to keep in touch with everyone. Although, the only person he really cared to stay in touch with was you.

“Okay, never have I ever hooked up with someone in the circle.” Giselle giggled at her own addition, knowing for a fact that several of her friends would have to drink. Minjeong and Jimin rolled their eyes as they took a sip, their relationship being a dead give away that they’d hooked up before. But Eunseok was far more concerned with the sip that you took than anyone else.

He wanted to say something, but he knew it would give him away immediately. So he was relieved when Jimin spoke up for him. “___! Someone in this circle?”

You cleared your throat, obviously avoiding Eunseok’s gaze as you tucked your hair behind your ear. “Um, yeah. Just a couple times, nothing crazy.”

“A couple times? Who?”

It was painful as you polished off the rest of your drink, fidgeting with the fibers of the rug you were sitting on. “Mark.”

Oh. Oh. The same Mark you’d told Eunseok you wanted nothing to do with, that Mark? Mark Lee who’d had a thing for you since you were a shy camper, nervous about spending the night away from your friends and family? Eunseok could kill him. “When was this? Was it right under our noses?”

“Eunseok—” You knew you shouldn’t have said anything, but lying would’ve been just as bad. Mark could’ve chimed in at any moment, and he wouldn’t have been exaggerating. Sure, the two of you knew it was just sex, but you never told him to keep it a secret. You weren’t ashamed of your sexual history with him, but you were afraid of how it would affect Eunseok. 

“No, please, tell the class. I think we’re all just curious.”

You couldn’t feel the night breeze anymore, white hot humiliation burning you from the inside out. “It wasn’t a big deal. It was when Mark moved back to Connecticut for a few months for work. His apartment was like ten minutes from campus and he asked if I wanted to meet for a drink.”

“We never did get that drink, now that I think about it,” Mark chuckled to himself, locking eyes with Eunseok, “Never made it out of my apartment that night.”

The difference between humans and animals is quite simple; logical reasoning. Humans can think about certain things and are motivated by their instincts, intellect and logic. Animals are incapable of reasoning and are simply motivated by their instincts alone. Eunseok, by definition, was an animal. His fist cut through the air and into Mark’s jaw without a second thought. 

You were almost certain you heard a crack upon impact, but Mark barely flinched. Like he was expecting it. He was ready to fight back with his hands curled into fists, fractured jaw bone an afterthought. Everyone else was shuffling to get away, screaming at the two of them to knock it off. The only person to jump in the middle was Haechan, arms flexing every muscle possible to keep Eunseok and Mark off of each other.

“Guys, stop! Why are you fighting?” Their fight was lost on everyone but you, the guilt you’d shoved down bubbling to the surface as you watched them claw at each other. 

Haechan was able to get a handle on Mark, leaving Eunseok open for you to shake some sense into. He was so hurt as he finally looked at you, shoulders slumping as his chest heaved. “Eunseok, stop it, why are you getting so worked up about this?”

Mark was out for blood, cradling his jaw as he said what everyone was thinking. “Because everyone knows he wants you but he can’t admit it.”

“I have her! She is mine! I belong to her!” The hush that fell over the room was eerie, not a single peep out of anyone as you watched Eunseok with bated breath. “You guys might have fucked a few times, but she’s mine. Has been since year seven. Just because we set each other free from fall to spring doesn’t mean I’m not hers.”

So much for keeping it a secret. Everyone gawked at you, the shock of you and Eunseok actually being a thing greater than the shock of Eunseok punching the shit out of Mark. Like clockwork, everyone gathered their things and fled the area, whispering about how they’d never seen that side of Eunseok before.

You were still startled. “What was that?”

“Oh, don’t start. You’ve been nothing but distant this whole summer, you let me hang around Mark looking like an idiot, you made me feel fucking stupid!”

“Distant? Eunseok, we’ve spent everyday together. You’ve been my entire summer. And of course I didn’t tell you about Mark, there’s nothing to tell! We only hooked up like three times, and it was mainly because I was missing you,” He moved to interject but you cut him off with a wave of your hands, “Do you know how selfish it is for you to tell me you love me, tell me not to respond, and then accuse me of keeping you at arm's length all in one day? To paint me out to be this heartless tramp when I’ve only ever loved you?”

He kicked at the twigs by his feet, hair on the back of his neck standing up at those last two words. “You love me?”

“Does… does this really sound like the time for that? I’m in the middle of tell you that I’m pissed at you.”

That cocky smirk was back on his face, his front teeth gnawing at his bottom lip. “Yeah, but you love me.” He took his bruised hand to grab your chin, forcing your focus on him. “Say it.”

“Eunseok…” He hummed at the sound of his name in your mouth, angry demeanor nowhere to be found. “You big, dumb idiot, I love you.”

He kissed you like he was afraid he might hurt you, cradling your head delicately as you let yourself simmer in the feeling of love. The feeling of your fingers in his hair, his heart beating at the speed of light against your chest. It was a feeling you’d pushed down year after year, too afraid to confront the possibility of losing him. And now, wrapped in his arms post love confession, you weren't afraid of anything.

So, yeah. Maybe you felt a little corny walking into the dining hall the next morning with Eunseok’s arm thrown over your shoulder. But you’d do way cornier things for Song Eunseok.

[ew-selfish-art]

Dp x Dc AU: Not exactly a meet cute between Jazz and Jason.

Jason's had a long night of beating the shit out of a gang that dared to sell in his territory, the last thing he needs is the Bats on his tail. He can always sense them when he leaves Crime Alley- they watch for him. Waiting for him to fail. It pisses him off.

So Jason shakes his tail, he's pretty sure it's the demon brat, parks his bike, removes his helm and heads into the loudest bar he can find, ditching his mask along the way. There are no camera's and there was no one watching, so Jason just looks like any other angry frat guy at the bar. Well, he supposes that the Leather jacket might be a stand out.

He grabs a drink, and looks at the time. Jason just needs to wait out the chance that a baby bird saw his bike and hope that curfew kicks in before this has to be a 'conversation'. Besides, the music is good and despite all the people, the crowd is pretty behaved.

"Hi! I'm so glad you're here!" A woman approaches, he can tell she's had a few drinks from her walk but her eyes scream sobriety and fear. She's tall in her flats, her hair looks disheveled (from dancing maybe) and her outfit screams 'this is the one fun black top I own'. She's beautiful and her approaching him might've been a wet teenage dream if his suspicions weren't immediately raised.

"I certainly am here." Jason replies, a smirk set into his features easily and as he straightens out his back he can see the three men watching the back of her head like predators. They're wearing super lame white hoodies and coats, like they're organized somehow.

"That's why you're my hero! Always ready to grab me at a moment's notice! Any chance you'll be good to leave after you finish that drink?" Her eyes are pleading but she keeps the same happy smile and joyful tone the whole time.

"Nah, no worries about the drink. It was cheap and I was just getting bored with it anyway. " Jason explains, setting his glass down on the counter. He's mentally photographed the three creeps, "Did any of your friends also need a ride home?"

"Nope! They all got in an uber... without me. So they'll be just fine!" She explains and there is an anger in her eyes that clearly meant she was telling the truth. Her hands are straightening out his jacket collar, making it look like they're more comfortable with each other than just strangers. She lays her hands flat on his chest once her task is completed and Jason feels his throat go dry.

"I'm always telling you to find better friends. Now c'mon, I parked out back." he wraps an arm around her waist, though its not tight, and peers over his shoulder. These guys weren't going to leave without a fight it seems, Dumb, Dumbie and Dumber are all watching her with evil in their eyes.

The two of them walk out and before she can even say thank you, the door swings back open and she's sucker punched one of the assholes and Jason's pulled his gun out for the other two.

"You gents are gunna go home, or you're gonna end up in the dirt. Pick." Jason growls. Not taking him seriously at first, he shoots one dudes foot and the last one standing looks like he might pass out. He picks up his fallen comrades and backs away into the bar.

"For ancients sake those dudes were trying to traffic the hell out of me." She sighs, and Jason holsters his gun.

"Yeah no shit. You okay?" Jason inquires.

"I will be. I'm Jazz, thanks for saving me Hood."

"I'm no-"

"You're literally leaning comfortably on Red Hoods motorcycle that still has his helmet perched on it. No one would do that unless they were suicidal or him." She challenges, but then a look changes in her eyes and she almost looks nervous "But still, do you uhm, wanna get out of here?"

He blinks. She was trying to pick him up? AFTER finding out he was a crime lord??

The answer is that yes, Hell Yes, Jason does want to get out of here. None of the Bats will bother him while he has a civilian, not at the diner he takes her too and certainly not while he's taking her back to one of his safe houses.

Jason had expected one of his siblings to show up in the morning and cause a ruckus. He hadn't planned for a dude to let himself into his kitchen screaming about government agencies tracking Jazz down that wasn't related. Turns out it's her brother and he's floating and no he's not going to explain why he's there or how he found them.

Jazz has a lot to explain to the both of them and it starts with "So I can admit that I have a thing for motorcycle guys-"

[alotofpockets]

Unknown | Alessia Russo

Pairing: Alessia Russo x Actress!Reader

Summary: You get a flower delivery but the bouquet isn't from who you thought it was.

Warnings: Angst (happy ending), stalker fan.

Masterlist | Woso masterlist | Words: 2k

-----

You were busy rehearsing lines for tomorrow when your doorbell rang. On the other side of the door stood a delivery person with a bouquet of flowers in their hands. “Thank you, have a good day.” You say when taking the flowers from them. The flowers were absolutely beautiful, you find the tag, which reads a simple ‘I love you x’, your heart warms at the thought of your girlfriend thinking of you while she’s away. 

Alessia was attending an award show on the other side of the country, and her management had arranged for a few interviews surrounding it, making her trip three days instead of leaving the same day again. Usually you’d be Alessia’s plus one to events, as would she for you, but this time you weren’t able to. You were in the middle of filming your new project that was being filmed in London, so you were able to stay at your own place for the duration.

You were about to leave for work when you found out that your car wasn't starting. In frustration you hit the steering wheel, you couldn't be late for this shoot. You text Lotte, hoping that the usual early bird is awake already.

Y/n: Heyy, are you up already?

Alessia’s teammates had become your friends over the two years that you had been dating.

Lotte: Yeah, what's up?

The girl responded within a minute.

Y/n: Is there any way you can drive me to work like right now? My car isn't starting and I have to be there in an hour.

Lotte: Yes, I've got you. I'll be there in ten.

You head back inside, deciding on having a quick breakfast at home, instead of having breakfast on set to save you some time. 

With a knock on the door Lotte announced that she was there, you let her in to offer her a cup of coffee while you finished your breakfast. “Thank you so much for doing this.” She gives you a side hug, “Of course, no problem at all.” She sits down at the counter and looks over at the flowers. “Less?” She asks and you nod with a smile, “So sweet, right?”

Lotte dropped you off at work and told you to call her when you needed a ride back. “Thanks again, Lotte, I owe you one.” 

You hadn't gotten the chance to talk to Alessia yet, when you weren't filming she was in interviews. But it was a good day of shooting, you managed to get two scenes done today like how the crew had planned. You gave Lotte a call, before you changed out of your character's clothes back into your own.

“You're a lifesaver, Lotte.” You say as you step into her car. “Do you have dinner plans tonight? If not, can I please invite you over as a thank you?” Lotte accepted your invitation but made sure to let you know that it wasn't necessary as a thank you but she'd love the company. The two of you were so deep in conversation when you arrived back at your apartment, that you didn't notice that Alessia’s car was parked in the lot. 

Once you get into your apartment, you notice a familiar pair of shoes standing next to your door. “Lessi, baby, you're back early?” You ask full of enthusiasm, but you're met with silence. It's only when you walk into the kitchen that you see her, she looks both angry and upset. “Who are these from?” Your brow furrows, “What do you mean who are they from? Are they not from you?” Alessia stands to her feet, “I didn't, so please don't fool me.” 

Lotte who had been quietly standing in the background speaks up, “I know it's none of my business but Less, this morning y/n was happily telling me the flowers were from you.” Alessia looks between the two of you. “And what exactly are you doing here?” You step in now, realising that Alessia might be thinking the flowers were from Lotte. “My car broke down, and Lotte is the only person I know that's awake early enough for my set times, so I asked her to drive me to work.” 

Alessia seemed to calm down, and believed what you were telling her. “Why would someone randomly send flowers without signing their name?” You shrug, “I have no clue, maybe someone left the wrong address or something. Let’s just leave it behind us, I want to know how your event went.” The three of you prepare dinner, and talk the rest of the evening.

Everything seemed to be back to usual, until a couple days later a box of chocolates was delivered to you on set. The handwriting on the note matched the one on the bouquet, a cold chill ran down your spine when the realisation hit that this wasn't just coincidental but that there was someone out there that knew where you lived, and when you would be on set.

Your first thought was to video call your girlfriend. After pressing the call button, you start pacing your trailer. “Hi my love, is everything alright?” She could read on your face that something was troubling you. “Less, the flowers, it wasn't a coincidence. They delivered something here addressed to me.” Alessia was furious but stayed calm for you. “Okay, here's what we're going to do. I'm coming over right now, and we'll talk to security at the set, make sure no strangers or packages are to be accepted. Then once you're done with work I’m taking you back to my place. I've got you, okay?” You nod. “Thank you, baby.” 

Alessia stayed on the call with you until she arrived at your set and had her eyes on you. You ran into her arms, and she held you tight. “It's okay, you're okay.” She whispered to calm you down. “I know but it's just so scary that they know where I live and where I work.” With a nod she let you know that she understood your worries. “Do you have time to talk to security now or do you need to head back?” You look at your phone, “I've got about fifteen minutes before I have to get back. Can we please talk to them first?” 

She took your hand, and explained to the head of security what was going on. He assured you that they would make sure that they would keep you safe, and even offered for someone to walk you back to your car, just to be sure. You thanked him, before making your way over to the set.

The rest of your work day you were able to put the worrying to the back of your mind, knowing that Alessia was here and the security team was aware of the situation. It was later that evening, in Alessia's apartment when the worrying started to come back. “They know where I live. What if I go back to my apartment and they're just there? What am I supposed to do?” Alessia held you through your worries. “We're going to figure something out, my love.” 

You didn't get much sleep that night but with an early call again, you made your way to the car. As promised a security guard escorted you from your car to your trailer, which you were grateful for. During hair and makeup, you were more quiet than usual, being too tired to use your energy for socialising. 

The day was going fine, until you heard commotion coming from outside your trailer. You open the trailer door to see if everything was alright, only to find a man trying to get through security screaming your name. “Y/n! You haven’t been home all week, I had to come see you at work. Please come y/n, I need to see you.” You’re frozen in place at the top of the small stairs. “Get back inside, we've got this.” The security called over his shoulder. You closed the door behind you and leaned your back against it. 

Alessia had explained the previous encounters you had with her teammates, everyone had been very supportive and said that if you needed anything they were there for you. She was in the gym with them, when her phone rang, your name on the display. You knew each other's schedules very well, so she knew that if you were calling during her training times something was wrong.

She snapped out of her shocked state, and answered the phone. “Y/n, wh-” She didn't get further than that as you interrupted her between sobs. “He's here” Alessia's worry grows. “Here as in on set?” Her words caught the attention of their teammates, who all stopped what they were doing. “He's next to my trailer, security is trying to keep him back.” Alessia got up and started gathering her stuff, “I'm on my way. I can stay on the phone, if you’d like.” You shake your head, “I'm okay, you focus on driving please.”

The small group of her teammates that were in the same part of the gym, had all grabbed their stuff as well and followed Alessia to the locker room. “We're not letting you go alone.” Katie said, Lotte, Caitlin, and Leah nod agreement. 

They arrived and saw a parking lot filled with police cars, and saw two officers walk a man to the car in handcuffs. Alessia was so angry that she wanted to run up to him, she didn't know what she would do but thanks to Katie holding her back, she wouldn't have to. 

The group walked up to the security guard securing the entrance. Alessia holds up her visiting badge, he nods in approval, “What about the rest of you?” Alessia speaks up for them, “They're with me. We're here for y/n y/l/n, she's my girlfriend.” He shakes his head, “I'm sorry miss but I can't let anyone in without permission.” That's when Alessia sees the head of security, “Paul! Can you come here for a second?” He rushes towards Alessia, “Miss Russo, I'm so sorry for what happened. I will get to the bottom of how he got in, you have my word.” Alessia shakes her head, “Thank you, Paul. For now, can you get my friends in?” He tells the other security guard to let them through and escort them to your trailer.

You see the familiar Arsenal training kits in the corner of your eyes while you’re giving your statement to the police. “Excuse me, can you give me one moment?” The officer looks over her shoulder, and nods. You run towards Alessia and let her wrap her arms around you tightly, as your head is pressed into her chest. Once you’ve had your moment of comfort, you step away from her and say a quick hello to the rest of the girls. “I need to finish giving my statement, you can wait in my trailer if you want to.” You point toward the one that is your. Alessia tells the girls to go ahead, while she stays near you. 

Once the officer was done with your statement, Alessia wrapped her arm around your shoulder and placed a kiss on your temple. “Let’s go inside, my love.” You told the girls what happened, and they tell you that they saw him being put into the back of a police car in handcuffs, which honestly made you feel a bit better. 

Alessia was focussed on one part of your story, the fact that he had said he needed to come to your work since you hadn’t been home. That meant that he had been spying on your house, and also didn’t know where you had been staying. “Hey, love, I know it’s under the worst circumstances ever, but I have loved living with you over the last couple of days, and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to move in with me, like permanently.” Your smile grew, “Yes, I would love to. It’s been so great to come home to you.” Alessia brings you in for a hug, as your trailer fills with aw’s. 

-----

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[scarletwinterxx]

but if it's forever, it's even better - joshua hong imagine

helloooo

i will start this off by saying i am down bad for this man right here. ISTG i see him and i'm smiling all stupid like a school girl who has her first crush. i cannot get him off of my mind so yea now we're here😅

if there's one song i would say is written about this guy, it's birds of a feather by billie eilish. i just feel like it's so easy to love him, like you'd be sitting in a diner with him then you'd take one look and think about how you love him so much🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 okay okay i'm getting carried away😅

it's my first time writing a story outside the nct-verse hahaha but i love it🥺 maybe i'll write more svt scenarios in the future but for now, i hope you enjoy this one🤍

if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

for my other joshua fics, check them here

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

"Oh my god, you like him"

"What are you talking about?"

"You know we follow each other on spotify right? You've been listening to the same 6 7 songs for days now. It's a playlist isn't it?"

"Where is this conversation going exactly?"

"Who is it? Tell me"

You look at your friend confused. Soonyoung can be random at times, like right now. He just started this topic randomly.

"You like someone, you only make a new playlist when you like someone so who is it?" he asks

"No one, oh my gosh"

Just then the bell hanging by the door chimes, signaling someone just walked in. You didn't look over only to be surprised when someone sat beside Soonyoung,

"Hey guys, sorry I was late. Have you ordered?"

"Hey" you nod over at Joshua, the guy smiling back at you

Soonyoung watches the exchange, looking back and forth between you and your other friend. It's like a lightbulb just lit up in his head.

You can see his expression change, but before he could say anything you kick his leg under the table to stop him

"AH!"

You shoot him a look, meanwhile Joshua stays oblivious to the chaos. He reads the menu, looking for something to order.

"Is the coffee good?" he asks no one in particular

"Yea, she likes it" Soonyoung points at you

"Oh uh yea it's good"

"Okay, I'll go get that. Do you want anything else?"

"I'm good" your other friend answers, then the two look at you

"Me too, thanks Shua" he shoots you another smile before standing up

"Shua? SHUA? You call him Shua???"

"Yea, because that's his name" you roll your eyes, trying to play it cool

"Oh my god, it's him. You like him" he points at you

"Shut it before he comes back"

"You didn't deny it"

You shoot him another look just as Joshua takes the seat beside him again. The three of you hang out to catch up, a little tradition you do with your friends when you have free time. Sometimes, you drive around town or go on an easy hike or set up a picnic.

Sometimes your other friends join you, but today it's just the three of you.

"The sky's getting dark, it'll probably rain soon" You say while looking out the window, the two guys following your gaze

"Oh yea, we should go. Hey Joshua, can you drive her home? I have a thing I have to drive by before going home"

"Yea no problem" ever the gentleman, Joshua agrees with a smile. The three of you walk out the cafe, saying goodbye to Soonyoung as he walks over to his car. You catch him mouthing something a long the lines of "you're welcome". Probably trying to play cupid between you and Joshua.

The two of you also walk to his car, a hand behind the small of your back to guide you. Even though the ground is flat concrete, you feel like you're going to trip just thinking about how close he is.

Joshua opens the door for you, holding a hand over your head as you get in. You're not even close to hitting the roof of the car, but still, he does it because he is the epitome of 'gentleman'. He waits for you to settle in before closing the door and jogging over the driver's side.

When he gets in the car, he puts the keys in and turn the engine on. Putting one hand behind your seat as he maneuver out of the parking lot.

You can feel your cheeks get warm, it's nothing special but you had to admit he looks so good while doing such a mundane thing.

Joshua looks over at you and notices the blush on your cheeks.

"You okay, baby?"

"Shut up"

He laughs louder, his hand finding yours and intertwining your fingers together.

"Soonyoung thinks I have a crush on you?"

"Does he?"

"Mhm, been listening to the playlist you made me. He said I only ever make a playlist when I like someone" you tell him, you see the smile forming on his pretty lips you had to stop your self from leaning over to steal a kiss from your boyfriend.

"I mean, he's not wrong. You made me one before"

"Yea like before we dated, now you do it too"

It was how you confessed to him, too shy to say you like him to his face so you did it through songs. You thought he didn't get the message you were trying to send over because he didn't say anything to you after you sent the playlist.

You really thought he really didn't see anything other than a friend until one night while hanging out he started to play one of the songs on his guitar. It was during a party, surrounded by all your friends, with people having their own conversations all around you.

And yet your attention was on him, listening to each note he's playing.

"When will we tell him?" Joshua asks you

"Let him figure it out on his own. It's kind of fun to see him get excited over it, it's like we have a fan rooting for us"

"What if I kiss you in front if him"

"You wouldn't dare, Joshua Hong" he smirks when he heard his full name, sparing you a quick glance. He waits until the light turned red before turning over to you, a hand behind your head to pull you closer to him then he's crashing your lips against him.

His lips moving against yours in sync. Like a routine he worked hard on memorizing, he knows just how to get you chasing after his lips asking for a few more kisses. Each one taking your breath like it's the first kiss.

He's the one to break away first (even though he didn't want to, but you're in middle of the road), he kisses your nose before going back to his seat. His hand goes back to holding yours, like back to normal. Like he didn't just kiss the breath out of you.

Joshua smirks when he looks over at you, looking at him with round eyes he loves so much.

The traffic light is still red but you don't dare to tease your boyfriend again because you know he won't hesitate to do it again and then some.

"Hey, I love you" he squeezes your hand, making you look over at him

"I know" you jokingly reply, then you lean over to give him a peck on the cheek.

"Let's sit together next hang out and pretend to secretly like each other" you say, "Easy, I already look like I like you" he say

"No kisses though, have to take me out first"

"We'll call it a date then"

[enluv]

ex-boyfriends describe their relationship with the same person w/ txt’s choi line!

choi yeonjun x fem!reader, choi soobin x fem!reader, choi beomgyu x fem!reader

warning(s): swearing, itty bitty angst, mostly fluff, mentions of past relationships

word count?! ooo ermmmmmm good question…it’s long…

coco's love note: this is based off a video made by glamor titled "3 ex-boyfriends describe their relationship with the same woman", I may make this a series so lmk which other idols you'd like to see (from who I currently write for)!

video preview starts: now!

[y/n sits comfortably in a chair as her interview begins]

Y/N: How would my exes, describe our relationship?

[the video cuts to a pink screen with the words that follow it below]

We brought in three of Y/N's exes:

Ex #1 – Choi Yeonjun [he is seen smirking at the camera]

Ex #2 – Choi Soobin [he smiles shyly at the camera in front of him]

Ex #3 – Choi Beomgyu [sits nonchalantly while "shooting" the camera]

And asked each about their experience dating her.

[y/n will ask all the questions presented in bold unless stated otherwise]

— So we met at?

Yeonjun: A dance studio near the area we both worked in.

Soobin: The bakery my aunt owns that I sometimes work at on the weekends.

Beomgyu: A pet store near my house.

— My type is?

Yeonjun: [he contemplates his answer before saying] Well me of course...just kidding she likes fun guys, the confident ones.

Soobin: The sentimental type maybe or the party guys.

Beomgyu: A guy who can hold their own but still love her.

— He was attracted to my?

Yeonjun: Her dancing of course. The energy along with it was always so captivating.

Soobin: Her smile was really pretty.

Beomgyu: Her energy, she was always smiling or laughing and I really liked that.

— And I was attracted to his?

Yeonjun: She always told me she loved the way I could "light up" a room just by walking in so I think the energy I gave and how I present myself.

Y/N: The way he presents himself to a room full of people he's never met will always leave an impact on me.

Soobin: My height and if she tells you otherwise it's a lie!

Y/N: His...caring nature? [she laughs as the producer calls her out for her blatant lie] okay okay! His height was crazy!

Beomgyu: My handsome face! [he gestures to his face and raises an eyebrow]

Y/N: His stupid jokes, as cocky as he seems the guy is funny as hell.

— Who made the first move?

Yeonjun: I did definitely.

Soobin: Surprisingly it was me, she would never.

Beomgyu: It was me she was too "nervous".

— Who made the first move? (cont.)

Yeonjun: It was during a performance we did together, all the emotions were super high so at the very end of the dance, I pulled her in and kissed her. Yeah best time of my life, the crowd went wild.

Soobin: She came in super late to the shop and asked for whatever croissants we had left but we didn't have any so I offered to make her some if she went out with me the next day

Beomgyu: We had been hanging out and I was bored so I just asked and surprisingly she agreed.

— His first impression of me?

Yeonjun: I thought she was going to be this cold partner that I wouldn't get along with, but obviously I was very wrong.

Soobin: She was a bit quiet but really sweet, then you get to know her and it's the complete opposite!

Beomgyu: I swear I thought she was crazy. I walked into the pet shop for some bird food and there she was fighting the clerk because he called her dog overweight. She is crazy but man I was scared.

— Our first date was?

Yeonjun: It happened right after that performance when I kissed her. We went out together and had burgers, then stayed up well past morning just messing around and talking at a playground near the venue.

Soobin: I took her to play mini golf. It didn't go too well since it has mini in the name and well...look at me. She laughed the entire time and instead of me helping her, she helped me.

Beomgyu: We went to an arcade and I beat her in every single game, then she pouted for the rest of the day till I promised to let her win next time we went back.

Y/N: no comment...

— Our first kiss was?

Yeonjun: Well you see...our first kiss kind of started it all.

Soobin: In her car after our, second or third date.

Beomgyu: Ha she was way too scared to kiss me so I did it when I walked her home after we hung out.

— We bonded most over?

Yeonjun: Our love for dancing and performing.

Soobin: We both had an affinity for baking?

Beomgyu: In the beginning our pets and then gradually just everything.

— I introduced him to?

Yeonjun: She introduced me to this entirely different view in life, it was just so uplifting.

Soobin: A new way of cooking, I dreaded it but turns out it can be fun if you do it right.

Beomgyu: A lot of new music came from her, my playlist if filled with it all still too.

— He introduced me to?

Yeonjun: A new outlook on dancing.

Soobin: So many places to eat and drink.

Beomgyu: To not worry what others think whatsoever.

— Did we say, "I love you?"

Yeonjun: [he leans forward and cups his hands around his mouth] We did but I said it first not her and if she lies then it's because she's a liar and hates me.

Soobin: She said she loved me after she met my family for the first time, and of course I said it back immediately.

Beomgyu: Yes, it was a phrase we often told to one another.

— In the morning I would?

Yeonjun: She wouldn't let me get out of bed to cook or shower or even pee. I mean not complaining too much but damn woman I had to pee.

Soobin: She would give me kiss then get up to cook.

Beomgyu: We didn't get up till like 11 if we were together we liked to just be with each other.

— In the morning he would?

Yeonjun: I always woke up first but never got up first since she would cling to me.

Soobin: Um hit snooze? Stay asleep.

Beomgyu: I would wake her up.

— He would call me?

Yeonjun: I didn't have one designated name for her but to get her mad I'd call her sugarplum or something really cheesy.

Soobin: Arm rest. [a smile finds its way on his faces as he's asked to elaborate] There isn't much to say she was my arm rest.

Beomgyu: Fiesty or crazy.

— I would call him?

Yeonjun: She was so mean she called me stupid head all the time.

Soobin: She always called me really nice things or something super mean like giant.

Beomgyu: She called me stupid head a lot and big baby.

— The best thing he did for me?

Yeonjun: I helped her open up a lot more I think.

Soobin: I always made sure she knew how special she was.

Beomgyu: No matter what I always spoken highly of her.

— And the best thing I did for him?

Yeonjun: She helped me with communicating. I get very upset very fast but she always made me feel better.

Soobin: She lessened a lot of my insecurities and that really boosted my confidence.

Beomgyu: Take care of me in a way no one before had ever done.

[the screen cuts back to a pink background with the words below appearing on it]

So who knows her best? (next segment)

— I'm really good at?

Yeonjun: Dancing.

Soobin: Making people feel comfortable/comforted.

Beomgyu: Getting her way? In a good way not bad I swear.

Y/N: Dancing definitely but also teaching others.

— I could be better at?

Yeonjun: Singing because she loved to dance but singing...wasn't her forte.

Soobin: Packing for trips. She overpacked a lot.

Beomgyu: Not fighting with the pet store guy.

Y/N: Being on time or toning down when appropriate.

— I loved to travel to?

Yeonjun: Any place with good food and people.

Soobin: Oh she liked going to sunny places.

Beomgyu: Where didn't she like to go.

Y/N: Places with good food or a nice sun.

— He knows I'm really proud of my?

Yeonjun: How far she's come with dance.

Soobin: She always took pride in how quickly she learned to be on her own.

Beomgyu: Just her life in general, she is doing what she wants and not many people get to do that.

Y/N: As much as I am proud of my dancing, I am so proud of how quickly I was able to go out and do things on my own.

— He knows I hate?

Yeonjun: When people criticize her but have absolutely no background knowledge on what she's doing and why.

Soobin: People who project or are just bullies.

Beomgyu: Not being able to be independent.

Y/N: Not having freedom to do things I know I should be able to do.

— My greatest skill?

Yeonjun: Her passion for wanting to do things.

Soobin: Dancing, I probably haven't mentioned it but she can dance really well.

Beomgyu: Her brain is huge and she uses it well.

Y/N: I know how to make people feel comfortable and I can cook really well.

— I've always wanted to buy?

Yeonjun: What kind of...man I don't know. Clothes? She had a lot of clothes.

Soobin: Shoes maybe, also like jewelry.

Beomgyu: One of those big extra dog houses for her dog.

Y/N: I want to buy my dog his own house.

— I have a talent for?

Yeonjun: Being herself and taking no crap from others.

Soobin: Making people comfortable.

Beomgyu: Tossing small candies in the air and catching them in her mouth.

Y/N: I can make people laugh I think.

— My biggest pet peeve is?

Yeonjun: People adding their opinions in situations that don't involve them.

Soobin: When she feels like she's being restricted from doing things she loves.

Beomgyu: People calling her dog fat of course!

Y/N: When people call my dog fat!! Why would they ever be so mean to him!

— Who takes longer to get ready?

Yeonjun: Definitely me…but only because I need to make sure my fit is good you know?

Y/N: Him always.

Soobin: Of course her! We never made our dates on time but honestly she was so pretty it didn’t matter.

Y/N: Me but only because he has such a nice style he puts his outfits together so quickly!

Beomgyu: Her, no questions asked.

Y/N: Bye it was so him, he is so indecisive!

— One word that best describes me is?

Yeonjun: Amazing.

Soobin: Kindhearted.

Beomgyu: Soulful.

Y/N: Unforgettable.

[screen behind y/n changes to a different color indicating a shift in the types of questions being asked]

— We dated for?

Yeonjun: Three years and two months.

Soobin: Eight months.

Beomgyu: Two years.

— We broke up because?

Yeonjun: Our paths were moving in different directions and we began to not really know one another in a sense.

Y/N: Our lives were moving in different directions and we started to argue a lot, so we decided to split.

Soobin: I think we realized that our relationship was more like friends than a couple.

Y/N: He’s like my best friend, and that was all we started seeing one another as.

Beomgyu: Our communication was really bad, and we had a hard time being honest with one another.

Y/N: We weren’t completely honest with our feelings and thoughts towards one another. It caused a lot of problems for us.

— My worst habit was?

Yeonjun: She didn’t believe in herself enough.

Soobin: She had a really busy schedule and prioritized work.

Beomgyu: Workaholic.

Y/N: Impostor syndrome was BIG.

— His worst habit was?

Yeonjun: Didn’t spend enough time with her.

Soobin: I wasn’t the easiest to communicate with.

Beomgyu: Prioritized my bird over her dog.

— He hated my?

Yeonjun: She could never sit still, always needed to be doing something, could never relax and take care of herself.

Soobin: I didn’t and still don’t hate anything about her, honestly.

Beomgyu: She was bad at communication and so was I so it was hard to get things out.

— And I hated his?

Yeonjun: Probably my friends, she said they liked me too much.

Soobin: How serious I was all the time.

Beomgyu: I couldn’t take anything seriously, we’d fight and I’d laugh it off.

— Were we in love?

Yeonjun: Definitely, always will be.

Soobin: I think at the beginning yes we definitely were.

Beomgyu: Yeah no doubt.

Y/N: Yeah I loved them all, I think Soobin was more of a friendly or brotherly love but Beomgyu and Yeonjun were love love.

— We always fought about?

Yeonjun: Never seeing one another.

Soobin: Being with each other too much.

Beomgyu: How we never communicated with one another.

— I got over the break-up after?

Yeonjun: I wish I could tell you.

Soobin: After we both realized we wanted to same ending.

Beomgyu: What kind of question is that? I don’t know.

— He got over the break-up after?

Yeonjun: Am I even over it? [he chuckles and looks away from the camera]

Soobin: It wasn’t too long, I think I’d accepted it long before it was over.

Beomgyu: Never.

— How did things end?

Yeonjun: Not the best, but we’re better now. We grew apart and it will take time to get back to a great place but right now it’s good.

Y/N: We hadn’t been a real couple in a long time so when it ended it was hard, it hurt both of us a lot but I think we’re getting better.

Soobin: It ended super well I think?

Y/N: It took a bit of space but we’re happier now.

Beomgyu: We argued so much, and that hurt our relationship a lot. I wouldn’t say it ended well.

Y/N: It sucked so bad at first, like I really loved him so much so the end not ending well hurt a lot.

[ending music switches on and the background behind y/n changes colors for one last time]

— Would we date again?

Yeonjun: I think if our schedules and paths aligned with one another, then yes we could.

Soobin: No! But I adore her always.

Beomgyu: Ummm well like assuming we’ve grown and gotten better at communicating with one another then yeah maybe? I don’t know? Yes?

Y/N: I don’t know, I guess only time can tell.

— Are we still on good terms?

Yeonjun: I think so? Could be better.

Soobin: Oh definitely. We have movie nights together.

Beomgyu: Could be better, but our animals have play dates so there’s that.

Y/N: Yes! I love them all, and like yeah some terms could be better but we’re working on it!

— We stayed friends because?

Yeonjun: I don’t think I could live a normal life without her.

Soobin: She’s like my best friend, of course we’d stay friends!

Beomgyu: I think I’d die if she wasn’t in my life, not to be dramatic or anything.

— He would say he misses my?

Yeonjun: Personality, she made me super happy and we had a great time together.

Soobin: I see her too much I have no answer for this!

Beomgyu: I miss her dog, but like I mean like living with him not just co-parenting him.

— I would say I miss his?

Yeonjun: Cuddles, I give the best ones.

Soobin: Can you really miss something of someone’s when you see them all the time?

Beomgyu: My jokes definitely, we laughed a lot.

— Best memory of our relationship was?

Yeonjun: One time we danced in the rain because she said it was on her bucket list of things and I wanted to do that for her.

Y/N: He helped me check off a lot of things I wanted to do in my lifetime and I appreciate that so much.

Soobin: When we made a giant, I’m talking four foot tall, gingerbread house for a contest and still lost but it was fun to do it.

Y/N: We have so many good ones don’t ask me to pick please!

Beomgyu: Walking in the park at night when it was peak golden hour and she looked so damn beautiful.

Y/N: Weekly walks around the park near his apartment.

— The best thing to come out of our relationship was?

Yeonjun: I think I gained a lot of knowledge from her and our relationship in general.

Soobin: Our friendship.

Beomgyu: I grew as a person definitely.

— He would tell my future boyfriends?

Yeonjun: Oh don’t even get me started, good luck is number one. Have fun.

Soobin: You’re very lucky, she’s amazing.

Beomgyu: [he adjusts in his chair and looks the camera dead in the eyes] I hate you. She’s mine. [he flashes a smile after]

[screen flashes back to y/n and all three exes sitting in our shot together]

Interviewer: Would you do this again?

Y/N: Possibly? I think it’s been fun to see their answers especially because they’re all such different people, special in their own ways definitely.

Interviewer: Okay Y/N, that’s a wrap! Thank you so much for coming and thank you boys for agreeing to participate in this video today.

All: Thank you!

[screen pans as the words “ENLUV” flash indicating the ending of the video and we watch y/n and her exes walk off screen]

txt taglist! @yeoforce @nikis-mum @bloom-bloom-pow @gyuuss @yourlocalhotgf @kyublr @spooooooooooon @enhacolor @butterfly-skinnylegend @dinosdance @simpforsung @misschubswrites @junityy @soobin-chois @fairybinie @lolalee24 @ja4hyvn @syrxiee2 – (bold can’t be tagged, & if you’d like to be removed from the taglist or added please let me know!)

coco’s love note: HELLO TOOTS! this is my first “fic fic” back!! tbh idk if I like it, it took such a long time to write and I feel like it’s not my BEST but I’m warming back up to writing so I promise I’ll get better again soon 🫶🏼 thank you so much for reading and feedback is always welcomed/appreciated!! if you liked it please let me know!! (p.s: i was stuck between gyu & jun so 😮)

[imtryingbuck]

Divorce Always Comes With A Price.

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky confesses to having an affair and wants a divorce

Word count: 1023

Warnings: Angst. That’s all.

A/N: there’s going to be a second part.

Masterlist

Part 2

The skies start to turn dark even with the sun shining brightly, if you didn’t know any better, you’d think it was forewarning for what’s to come.

Taking a deep breath, you look up at the sky to see the birds flying freely with no care in the world. Looking around there’s two paramedics sitting in the van waiting for another call to come through, seeing two young new parents with their bundle of joy waiting for a car to pull up. You smile. Then your pushed to the side. A man in a suit on his phone talking rather loudly about how long he had to wait to be seen. You still smile. That’s when your phone goes off and you see the notification that your Uber has arrived. 

Marty your driver talks about his wife and three children with so much passion and love you just simply can’t wipe the smile off your face. When it’s time to depart you tip him twice the charge and wish him all the best. Walking into the lobby of the huge building, smiling at everyone you come across. With the news that the doctors told you, you just can’t stop appreciating everything and everyone. Stepping out of the elevator your heart soars seeing your family gathered around.

Bucky shoots straight to his feet and before you can say anything he hands you a folder.

Not looking at you he speaks in a voice you can only describe as detached “I want a divorce I need you to sign these. I’ve been having an affair for the past 4 months and I love her”.

The smile you’ve been wearing drops along with your heart. The air is cut off. The room is spinning. Your world has ended. Trying so hard not to strutter which fails as you ask “y-y-um you l-lo-ve her?”

This man who’ve been your husband for the past two years boyfriend of three, the man who promised to spend the rest of his life with you, is same man that can’t even look you in the eyes as he breaks your heart in to smithereens. He nods. With your his families eyes on you, you do the same. With a shaky hand you take the pen out of James’s outstretched one. With a stuttering breath you sign your name. 

You dare yourself to take one last look at his handsome face before you fall backwards and walk out, no one utters a single word. It feels like time stands still as you wait for the elevator doors to open.

It’s only once you’re outside you realise there’s tears pouring out of your eyes. How long they have been falling is unknown to you. You have no idea how long you’ve been standing still like a statue in front of the building doors. It’s only when you hear the mighty rumble up above you take notice of the rain, its only then you take a step forward then the next and the next. You don’t even realise you’ve walked all the way back to your home drenched head to toe and shivering but you barely flinch.

How you’ve done it is lost on you but you’ve packed all your things up. This isn’t your home, it’s Bucky’s he brought it. Your best friends at the door helping you get everything out, he brings you into a tight hug whispering ‘everything going to be ok’ it’s not. And you’re the only one who knows it.

It’s been a month since that day, and it’ll be the first time today that you’ll be seeing him again. Staying with Matt for the past four weeks has been okay, you just wish you could wake up from this nightmare and be at home with your husband. Not your husband idiot, he’s with someone else now. He’s divorcing you to be with her. He loves her not you. Idiot. Wishing the voices in your head would leave you just like your husband did. 

He still looks the same, still smells the same. Still not looking in your direction which you’re grateful for, if he did you’d break down in a fit of tears. 

“—I don’t want anything in the divorce, he can keep the house the money, everything. I will have no use for that stuff” you speak in a soft way. And with that it’s done. You’re no longer Y/N Barnes, you’re no longer married to James Buchanan Barnes. You take your leave as fast as you possibly can. You can’t bear to spend another minute around him. As you begin to walk down the corridor with Matt and Foggy on either side of you, you seem them. The people that were your family sitting there on the benches waiting for your now ex-husband, they all bore sad expressions but it’s not them you pay attention to no it’s the brunette-haired woman you’ve never seen before. She’s gorgeous. You take a wild guess and assume she’s the woman Bucky had an affair with. Your heart breaks. But you can see why he loves her. Your feet start to slow down on their own accord Matt notices so ever so gently he grabs your hand and gives a small smile.

Getting back to the apartment where you’ve been staying with Matt you finally let the floodgates open and you make no effort at all to make them stop. Matt stands there not knowing what to say or do, nothing he can say will make this pain go away. So he does the same thing he’s done for the past month, he holds you, he holds you so tightly hating the universe for doing this to such a beautiful, incredible loving person. Hating James for causing you grief, hating the other woman even though he doesn’t know her, hating the all mighty avengers for not doing anything for you. Hating how even with the pain and turmoil you’ve been feeling this past month you can’t find it in yourself to hate the person who’s done this to you. He continues to hold you long after you pass out.

~ banners credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

[oh-stars]

Recognition

Love is showing up when someone doesn’t ask.

a @steddielovemonth prompt | 1257 words | CW: N/A | Rating: G

“What time will you be home?” Eddie asks, perched on the couch like a bird, elbows on his  knees and sitting on his heels, toes straining under his weight. He feels like a little gremlin, body needing a way to expel all the energy his boring day off built up while Steve’s been at work. 

Steve sighs and adjusts his tie in the mirror by the door. “If all goes well, eight?” 

Eddie groans and falls back, limbs flailing. “If they expect you to go to school after hours, they should at least pay you,” he says, face squished into the fabric. It’s miserable being on different schedules. He’s been working at the plant until the construction is done on his shop, which means weird hours and being completely off rhythm with Steve. He barely sees the man! 

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Steve huffs as he smooths down his shirt, walking towards him. He carefully bends over to kiss Eddie’s pouting lips, laughing at him. God, Eddie’s so glad this man is his. He’s too precious to let go. “I’d stay if I could,” Steve says softly. “You know I hate going to these things.” 

Eddie sighs, giving him a small smile as he touches up the few strands of Steve’s hair that were betrayed by his hairspray. “I know,” he says. “I could always come with you.” 

Steve shakes his head, cheeks pink. “Thank you, but you, uh, really don’t want to go to a boring PTA meeting. All they’re going to do is fight over which classroom should get the crayons.” 

“I’d go for you, Steve,” Eddie says. He sighs again and pushes Steve away. “Go so you can get back.” 

“I love you,” Steve says, stealing another kiss before he finally stands up. 

“Love you too,” Eddie says, smashing his face back into the couch. “I’ll be here, rotting away until you return, my sweet knight.” 

Steve shakes his head and grabs his wallet and keys off the coffee table. Then he’s gone, with the rumble of the Beemer and the faint sounds of David Bowie announcing his departure. 

Eddie lasts a whole three minutes before he’s shooting up off the couch and pacing around the living room as he thinks of something he could do to occupy his time. He’s done about as much housework as he could manage for the day, he doesn’t think he could practice anymore today or write at all with how depleted his creative juices feel, and he knows nothing good comes on TV on Tuesdays in early January. 

That’s how he ends up piddling about Steve’s desk. Steve keeps all his papers that need to be graded meticulously organized, with the ones that are fair game for anyone to grade (aka the ones with scoresheets) in the blue folder. On days where Eddie’s brain was too much, when he couldn’t even look at his guitar without feeling pain or pick up his pencil to be creative in any fashion, he needed something to do to get the excess brain energy out. Robin’s much the same way, so Steve started setting aside his pop quizzes and multiple choice tests in the blue folder for either of them to grade if they needed. Otherwise, he’d get to it eventually. It’s mindless enough to calm their brains, they feel good helping Steve, and it helps give Steve more time to focus on the essays and presentations that need more time to be graded. It’s a win win all the way around. 

The blue folder isn’t as full as normal, but there are a few worksheets Eddie can take care of for Steve. He reaches for the sticker book and the purple pen (Steve’s signature grading color) in the mug Wayne gave him that’s an apple with a little worm for a handle that he uses as a pencil cup. That’s when he sees the PTA flyer. It’s jam-packed with information and minutes from the last meeting, but in big, bold letters at the bottom of the flyer, Eddie reads:

Join us to honor this year’s Teacher of the Year, Mr. Steve Harrington, eighth grade English. 

Eddie puts down the blue folder, the pen, and the flyer. He’s still for exactly one minute before his body goes into flight or fight mode. Within ten minutes, he’s dressed in his nice date clothes and his hair is tamed back into a tight bun, threatening to snap the band. 

Time crunch or not, he drives like a bat out of hell. He has plenty of time to get to the school, they live close enough, but he needs to make a few stops first. All in all, he gets there right as the principal is starting the meeting. 

He tucks himself in a corner in the back, watching the whole thing patiently. The problem is, he can’t really see Steve. Eddie cranes his neck and bounces on his toes, trying to find a way to make it to one of the seats in the center of the auditorium, closer to the stage. 

His opening comes after the chorus does a performance, when the parents at the front scurry their students away before the meeting can continue. First off, rude, but it works in Eddie’s favor. Steve’s award is next and Eddie isn’t missing this. 

Eddie slips into the front row as the principal starts shifting gears, whispering to the vice principal as the crowd settles. 

She announces Steve to a polite applause, but that’s just not good enough for his Steve. 

His palms ache with how hard he’s clapping, just shy of letting out a loud ‘whoop’ – and he’d do it if it wasn’t for the pretty way Steve’s face and ears are pinkening up. Their eyes meet as Eddie beams. 

“Hi,” he mouths, trying so hard to not vibrate out of the seat. 

Steve’s smile softens as he gives a wave of appreciation to the crowd, eyes darting back to Eddie. As the principal sings Steve’s praise and when she hands over the microphone for Steve to say a few words, Steve’s eyes never leave Eddie’s. It isn’t until a few of his students get up to speak that Steve finally looks toward the speaker, his shy smile turning into one of pride. Eddie knows he could care less about the words themselves (it’ll be later tonight that Steve will have a crisis and finally let the kind words sink in, where he’ll cower into Eddie’s body and panic over how much these kids trust him), but rather seeing how brave his kids are for speaking to a crowd this big and doing it so well. 

The award is the last part of the meeting, so after another round of applause, everyone is dismissed. Eddie jumps up to meet Steve at the bottom of the stage. 

“You didn’t have to come,” Steve says as he jumps down. 

“I wanted to,” Eddie says. “I’m proud of you,” he adds as he bumps their shoulders together. 

“I’m just doing my job–”

“Stop,” Eddie says kindly, “you deserve this.” He grabs Steve’s hand and gently tugs him toward the exit. “C’mon, I’m taking you to dinner to celebrate.”

“What about my car?” 

“I’ll drive you to work tomorrow.”

Steve’s blush is even stronger up close, but he doesn’t fight Eddie. And it’s an absolute privilege to watch as Steve gets all shy again when Eddie presents him with flowers once they’re at the van, stammering his thanks as Eddie kisses his cheek swiftly. 

--

Ao3 Link

Thank you @lady-lostmind 💜

[romanshomeonwattpad]

Girl in New York | 5

pairings - art donaldson/reader | challengers au! |

“_ _" = Y/N

masterslist | next chapter | last chapter

sypnosis - you have lunch with Art’s girlfriend and your parents….

warnings - messy blowjobs, dirty talk, slut shaming, cheating, voyuerism

word count - 2k

© elliotsblunt 2024. do not repost, modify, or translate.

You and Art….came to an understanding.

It was odd. Although it was winter—the sun was shining today. White shorts hugged your hips, showing off the curve of your ass. A black tank top let your breasts spill out just enough without flashing the entire tennis club. Birds chirped at the sudden heat, spreading their wings and able to fly away from their problems.

Sweat had gathered at the top of Art’s lip as he drank from his hydro. You two had agreed to meet on Fridays instead. He hadn’t mentioned what occurred Sunday night, diving right into your usual routine. The both of you had just finished an hour long practice—but Art didn’t seem it was long enough. “Let’s go again.”

You groaned, throwing your head back before plopping down onto one of the chairs. There were a ton of tables since there was a food court nearby and people liked to judge the players while stuffing themselves. “My legs are killing me. Can’t we just wait until tomorrow?” You kicked your legs onto another chair, looking up at him. “Matter of fact, let’s get ice cream. I’m craving it.”

“You should lay off the carbs,” Art placed his hands onto his hips, raising a brow at you. Something glinted in his eyes. “It could mess with your cardio.”

You sleep with a guy once and he thinks he could tell you what to eat.

“Whatever. I’ll get it myself.”

Art lit a cigarette, “Least you’ll be getting off your ass.”

You pushed yourself off the chair and hit his shoulder whilst passing him. As if you hadn’t just spent the last hour aggressively dodges Art’s stroke’s. You were pretty sure there were three bruises on your knee from falling to strike back. And on top of that, the concealer you applied on your neck to cover his hickeys was melting off. It was fucking December—why was it ninety degrees?

Bees buzzed around lavender colored flowers. You spotted around the corner the food truck. A familiar pair of pretty brown eyes and a charming smile popped into view. Humming to yourself, excitement flourished within you, approaching him. “Oh hey—it’s you again,” his brown orbs not so swiftly racked up and down your figure. “I was gonna text you but my phone broke. It like won’t turn on…it’s a piece of shit.”

You raised your brows, “Can’t even trust your own phones these days to not cockblock you.”

He laughed, “Literally. What can I get you? On the house.”

“A chocolate ice cream on a cone, please.”

A wink was thrown your way—shooting right down into your core. But his eyes didn’t swirl with the same hungerness as Art. This was more like desire…curiosity. It didn’t feel as exhilarating as tossing flirty banger with the gorgeous blonde. This guy was younger, and seemed like he tried too hard to impress you. Whereas Art didn’t give a fuck what you thought, he still said it regardless.

It didn’t irritate you that he wasn’t acknowledging the situation. All you knew was that it surely wasn’t a one time thing. Whether he expects it or not, he’ll eventually give in. And if he didn’t—you wished to savor his taste on your tongue for as long as possible.

“Here ya go, gorgeous.”

You snapped out your daze. There was a cutie in front of you—and were off thinking about Art. Get it together _ _.

He handed you the vanilla cone. There were sprinkles on top of the perfectly scooped ice cream. But before you could thank him, Art grabbed your arm, pulling you away from the guy. You knitted your brows, “Art what the f—thanks uh, Chase! Or Chad!”

“It’s Chris. How do you flirt with guys you don’t even know,” Art eyed you from the corner of his eye, not fully turning his head. Once you two got far enough, you tugged from his grip.

Your eyes narrowed into daggers. “Says the guy who cheated on his girlfriend.”

That shut him up. Ignoring the non-staggering death stare he was burning into the you—you licked at your ice cream. His eyes focused on the way the tip of your tongue twirled around the cream. “Perhaps I should’ve went with vanilla,” you tasted, locking eyes with his. They were hooded and cloudy, drinking in every movement you made with your mouth. No longer thinned into knives penetrating your skull.

And then it flew out your hand. You’re ice cream.

“What the fuck, Art—“

“Get behind that wall,” he sneered, shoving you anyways. You almost tripped before his hands pushed your shoulders downwards—guiding you to your knees. When you got the message, your eyes rounded up at him. “Art—we’re at the club. Your girlfriend—“

His fingers gripped your chin in a bruising hold. Taking out his cock with the other hand by pulling his sports shorts down, he then tapped the pink top onto your bottom lip. “Don’t mention her before I’m about to throat fuck you,” he smirked, before watching his head vanish between your lips. A salty undertone filled your taste buds, his thick head pulsing on your slippery tongue. Your eyes don’t leave his as you hummed, savoring the taste of his pre-cum. Sucking and swirling with your mouth, and jerking the rest with your hand, you put yourself to work.

His hips harshly snapped into your mouth. Art’s eyes were barely open, bliss taking over his features.

You couldn’t get enough of him. You wanted to see him break above you. Moaning around his dick, you felt it twitch in the warm walls of your mouth— before more of his salty liquid dribbled out. Signaling he was getting close already, your wrists began to twist the base of his cock. A patch of blonde hairs resided above it. He held his shirt up with one hand, holding the back of your head with another.

“Fuck, that’s it. Take it all like a good fucking girl.”

Sticking out your tongue, you continued to jerk off his huge cock. “I’m gonna—fuck—“

His cock twitched, blue eyes boring into your wicked ones—taking everything he had to offer. The liquid shot out all over your tongue, and on the ground.

“We would like to meet your instructor.”

You almost dropped your spoon, choked on your mashed potatoes, and screamed at the top of your lungs. Perhaps your mother had gone crazy. She took a sip of wine, shrugging her shoulders at your father. “She seems passionate about Tennis. It seems as if he inspired this newfound hobby.”

Oh…you have no idea.

“We’ll come watch you play next week. It’s set,” your father nodded, taking a bite of steak. A know it all look crossed his features. “You know—I used to dabble in the sport back in high school…”

You tuned out your father out.

Your parents were going to meet Art?

This could not fucking happen.

“How ya doing? I’m Bradford Smith, and this is my wife—Fiona Smith. _ _’s mother.”

Art’s eyes flew over to you. The sun shined without mercy, the tight long-sleeve that covered your tits due to your parent’s presence making you itchy. And to make matters worse, a high pitched hello sounded from behind. A pair of blonde pigtails came into view, and as soon as she spotted you, her arms clung to Art. “_ _! What a surprise! Speaking of those—I was planning on surprising Art. I didn’t know you were bringing your family as well.”

You laughed in disbelief that this was all happening. “Well isn’t that just strawberries and confetti throw up fun.”

Art sent you a behave look, earning an eye roll from yourself. Your mother chuckled, probably just as confused as everyone else, “_ _ wants to show us what the two of you have been working so hard doing.”

“I love watching you play, baby. Let’s do it!” La-la loopsie cheers, clapping her hands excitedly. You refrain from rolling your eyes again, grabbing your racket from the table and heading to the court. You overhead your mom tell your dad that Art’s girlfriend was cute—leading you to make a disgusted sound and warm up.

Art bounces his ball of the ground before hitting it with the racket. Just how you liked it. He started out aggressive, but you expected that, hitting it with yours quickly. The both of you dove into your skills, hearing your current audience clap every once in a while.

After about thirty minutes, you began to grow winded, and called for a break. Your father ended up talking to Art about his old tennis team. Surprisingly, the two got along—sharing a few chuckles here and there. Tiffany kept kissing your mother’s ass, asking her about the mug’s she liked to design. Just from listening to the conversation, you began to grow nauseous.

“I’m getting slushie,” you muttered, walking away from the scene. But before you could get too far, Art overheard you—his head whipping away from your still speaking father.

“I’m actually thinking about getting something too. I’ll go instead,” he offers, Tiffany noticing his sudden interest. You knit your brows together.

“I got it.”

“No seriously. I’m good friends with the dude anyway.”

“Chad?” You raise your brows, causing him to send you a glare before walking away. Tiffany followed him—wearing a painted smile. You thought the encounter was weird, but before you could think too deep into it, your mother pulled you aside.

“You should wear longer skirts, _ _.”

“Mom—I’m an adult. Please.”

Your father kissed the side of your head, “Why don’t the five of us have some lunch. There’s a cafe right there. Go let your friends know and we’ll grab a table.”

Before you could reply, they walked away to find a spot. Tiffany and Art returned back, him handing you a cherry slushie. “It was all they had.”

“That cashier guy asked about you. Is he like, your boyfriend?” Tiffany asks, sipping your Diet Coke. You didn’t see the point in diet anything if there was no sugar. It made everything taste a million times better.

Art pressed his lips together. You shrugged, sipping your slushie. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” your tone was uninterested. Being in the same vicinity made your blood boil. She had the ability to kiss him in broad daylight—and didn’t even take advantage of it. No wonder Art came to you for his sexual needs. It seemed like she was plain and simple. If a boy likes you, date him. If he doesn’t, run away.

She doesn’t know how to take care of someone like Art. Someone like you.

“Anyways,” you look at your nails, tension in the air. “My parents what us to have lunch together. I can tell them you guys are busy.”

“No that sounds fun!” Tiffany chimes in, holding onto Art’s arm again. His eyes slightly widen, face paling into a white sheet. He ground his jaw.

“I’m actually really tire—“

Tiffany tugged on his arm, whining in a tone that made you want to pierce your ears. “Please babe…”

“Yeah,” you smirk, thinking of a fun idea. Art’s eyes instantly met yours, a worried look crossing his features. While his girlfriend was looking at him, your tongue poked out and swirled around the straw—his teeth gritting at the sight. You noticed his fists ball at his sides. Tiffany looks at you, beaming excitedly. You send her a fake smile,

“You should taste this slushie I had last week. It was super creamy.”

“Alright let’s go.” Art grabs Tiffany, dragging her over to find your parents. You giggle to yourself, enjoying seeing him flustered.

“My mother is a Stanford graduate. That’s actually where Art and I met.”

Tiffany wouldn’t stop rambling about the history of her and Art. It was driving you literally insane. Your father helped himself to his club sandwich, barely listening to what she was even saying. Your mother on the other hand was absolutely ecstatic for the couple, sharing her own experiences about meeting your father.

You picked at your salad, glancing at the fair haired boy. He had been sipping his coffee—clearly uncomfortable with this entire situation. You decided to tease him a bit, taking advantage of the fact that you were seated beside him. Brushing your heel against his calf, he suddenly jerked, catching the attention of everyone at the table.

He cleared his throat, “Uh—a bee. It flew away.”

“Right. You remember that time we went to Cuba for that tournament, sweetie.”

He hummed, pulling out a cigarette from his back pocket. Tiffany made a face, “If you’re going smoke, at least go to the parking lot. Everyone’s eating.”

Jesus. What a bitch.

“I don’t mind,” your mother placed her hand on Tiffany’s. She smiled warmly at Art afterwards. “Bradford used to chain smoke those things until I eased him off then. Looks like we’ll have to do the same thing to you.”

Art returned her smile, ignoring Tiffany’s eye roll, sparking the cigarette. “_ _. Tell them about how you used to dance in the bathroom with my old tennis racket. It was the cutest thing. She’d be naked—“

“Actually, I’m gonna spark one up too. I’ll go to the parking lot though so no one complains.”

“I’ll come with you,” Art shot up, offering a nervous smile to everyone. “I just—feel so guilty.”

“Okay kids. We’ll be here.”

“What the fuck, _ _?”

You never thought it would be so hilarious to see someone smoking a cigarette whilst looking immensely frazzled. As soon as the two of you reached the back parking lot, out of sight of people, Art let you know how he truly felt. Fortunately, you weren’t in much of a talkative mood, so you listened patiently whilst finishing your cigarette.

“Not only are your parents here—but your mom loves my girlfriend. This fucked situation just got entirely more fucked.” He ran a hand through his light strands, pacing back and forth.

“I hate when she does shit like this.”

“Who?” You mumbled, leaning your back against the wall.

“Tiff!” His hands flew in the air, shaking his head. “She always pops up unannounced. I hate that kind of shit. She has no respect for my time nor schedule. I mean—what makes her think she can crash my lesson? “

“Why are you even with her?”

Art looked at you with a sudden calmness. It was as if your words urged him to think.

“I….don’t know.”

That made you pause. The cigarette burnt as the both of you stared at one another. For the first time, he was expressing his feelings. It was different than usual. “She doesn’t let you breathe. You’re a free soul, and she wants to keep it caged. You won’t stay with her for long. It’s only a matter of time.”

“I guess I like her company. She’s always there for me when I need it,” he shrugged, standing beside you. He looked away from you, “But if it came to actually being in love with her—I couldn’t tell you. She doesn’t accept me for me.”

“Then she’s a fucking idiot,” you smirk, “—because you’re like…kinda cool I guess.”

His eyes twinkled, your gaze meeting once again. You smirk was met by a sheepish smile from him.

“You’re pretty aggressive, you know that?”

“You love it.”

His eyes fell to your lips. “We should stop sneaking around, _ _. This is going too far.”

You laughed, throwing the cigarettes off the ground before crushing it with your heel. “C’mon, lover boy.”

[exhuastedpigeon]

Buddie Hiatus Fic Recs - Month 4 August 16 - Sept 15

I think is my favourite rec list for this little project so far. It has some of my all time favourite Buddie fics on it, fics that I've read over and over again because they just bring me so much joy.

Previous lists linked at the bottom!

0-5k

here (in your arms) by devirnis / @devirnis Explicit | 2.3k I have had THE WORST day. When I finally get home, I’m going to pass out and sleep like a rock, and then I want to wake up with you inside me.

the art of peeling mandarins for the one you love by oklahoma / @sunshinediaz Teen | 3.9k Buck asks Eddie to marry him in the kitchen, of all places.

5k-10k

but i've got my teeth in you by oklahoma / @sunshinediazTeen | 5.5k bad things happen bingo—tooth knocked out

you're the cream in my coffee by 42hrb Explicit | 8.6k Buddie coffee shop AU where everything is different, but they’re still idiots in love

wood you be mine? by MonsterRae1 / @monsterrae1 Mature | 9k the Lumberjack Buck fic.

10k-20k

With Great Power Comes Great Pining by Princessfbi / @princessfbi Teen | 10.4k It was the lightning strike. That had to be it. It was the only logical conclusion. Though, when it comes to being able to suddenly read people’s minds, Buck supposed there wasn’t a whole lot of logic involved.

endless numbered days by Daisies_and_Briars / @cal-daisies-and-briars Gen | 13.1k When a big event in the lives of the members of the 118 falls on the same weekend as Bobby's late son's birthday, Bobby finds himself reflecting on grief, fatherhood, and life after loss. 

The Scroll of Saint Barnabas by Amiril / @runawaymarbles Mature | 15k The day of the shooting, Eddie got stuck in a time loop. But that was three months ago. He's completely fine now.

Say Yes, and Figure It Out Afterwards by catwalksalone Explicit | 13.3k Buck and Eddie figure out a mutually beneficial way to deal with the first responder post-trauma cycle of up-horny-down.

Share the Joy by TalkNerdyToMe6 Teen | 14.2k After the lightning strike, Buck discovers he has more than just the ability to do long division in his head. Every time he touches Eddie, everything the other man is feeling moves through him like a wave of emotion, there and gone again. Buck can’t decide if that’s a blessing or a curse.

20k - 30k

light through the wave tips by bvckandeddie (zukkababey) / @bvckandeddie Explicit | 21.9k When Buck and Eddie planned a vacation with their kids over a year ago, they hadn’t exactly planned on bringing a seven-month-old baby along with them. Surely wrangling three kids can't be too much of a challenge—that is, if it weren't for Christopher's steadily worsening mood.

Cutting The Ties That Bind by kristen999 / @thekristen999 Mature | 34.4k Evan Buckley was a businessman, he had meetings and deadlines like everyone else. Sometimes he used intimation. While using the very same tactics he was trying to end while converting his family business into legitimate operations was a little hypocritical, it was the results that mattered.

Occasionally, he got threatened, but it was usually all hot air and ego. That all changed the day his breaks were tampered with. Enter Eddie Diaz, security specialist, who was not easily impressed by Buck’s expensive suits or financial conquests. That was okay. Buck enjoyed a challenge.

30k +

family (portrait) by ProsperDemeter / @prosperdemeter2 Teen | 45.1k realizing that the family that you need has been beside you all along.

like a dog with a bird at your door by fleetinghearts / @shitouttabuck Explicit | 51.1k evan “i love you like a dog” buckley has only ever known how to love like, well, a dog, but maybe eddie diaz is the kinda guy to give a flea-bitten mongrel a forever home

Being Eddie by Daisies_and_Briars / @cal-daisies-and-briars Teen | 79.8 Eddie goes through the time travel therapy process of the 2009 Canadian TV show Being Erica

what a heart can do by bvckandeddie (zukkababey) / @bvckandeddie Teen | 85.5k In which Buck becomes the guardian of the daughter he never knew he had. Together, they discover what happiness truly means to them.

Month 1 (May 15 - June 15) Month 2 (June 16 - July 15) Month 3 (July 16 - August 15)

[katnissmellarkkk]

tis I with a prompt: I request the first time post war Katniss lets Peeta into her bed again 🥺

-

AN : wrote this the night you sent the prompt but I absolutely hated it until now. I finally got around to cleaning this up a bit and now I think it’s cute? Lemme know, all of y’all, if you like it! And my writing muscles are rusty so send me a prompt if you like, to try and work me out please! Can’t make any promises about what’ll trigger my brain but I can sure try! Anywaysss hope y’all enjoy this lil post-mockingjay-pre-epilogue drabble here!

-

I watch with dread as Peeta scrubs away the last bit of sauce still dried to his plate.

“You really don’t have to do that,” I murmur halfheartedly from where I lean against the counter, watching him.

“It’s rude to not wash your own plate after dinner,” he says, his tone somewhat coy. He’s teasing me, I realize. He’s maybe even flirting with me but I can’t be sure and even if I could, I wouldn’t know what to make of it.

“I never wash mine after eating at your house,” I mumble, mostly to myself. I know he doesn’t care about cleaning off my plate for me. I know that he knows that I don’t mind washing his plate either.

But I don’t push the point and neither does he. Because we’re both stalling the inevitable.

It’s past ten at night and it’s time for Peeta to go home now. This time comes every day and we should be more prepared for it by this point, but every single night when the sun has long since left the sky and you can barely make out five feet in front of you without a flashlight, Peeta walks out the front door and my chest aches, as he disappears out into the night.

Ask him to stay, a tiny voice that sounds weirdly like both Haymitch and my mother — at the same exact time — pressures me.

But my tongue won’t cooperate and I can’t make the words form on my lips and I feel my stomach flip as I stutter out an awkward goodbye instead.

“Goodnight, Katniss,” Peeta says evenly, his face smooth and peaceful and totally level as he reaches out and squeezes my hand before moving to grab his coat.

He’s walking towards the door and I feel the familiar dread — the dread that’s been my constant companion for longer than I care to remember — rise up in my stomach and for a split second I want to reach out and grasp his elbow. For a split second I want to grab onto him and stop him from leaving.

And for a moment I plan to ask him to stay, to come upstairs with me, to get into his pajamas and brush his teeth by my side at the sink, to crawl beneath the sheets and hold me until we hear birds begin to chirp with the morning light. In that moment I plan to ask him to do exactly what we used to do on the train, exactly what we used to do every single night, back before everything between us completely shattered beyond recognition.

My hand drops midair before I can make the contact with his arm but it catches his attention just the same.

“What’s wrong?” He inquires, his face becoming concerned.

“Nothing,” I brush off tightly. Instead of saying what I’m thinking, instead of saying what I want, I just force a smile and lightly graze his hand. “Get home safe.”

At that, he shoots me a bemused look. “I live three houses from you. Somehow I think I’ll be fine.”

I nod and chuckle as he leaves, as he disappears into the night, making the shortest of journeys home, unwittingly leaving me to dwell in regret for all the things I wish I’d just come out and said.

As soon as the door shuts between us regret the size of an elephant lands on my chest.

And I know, without a doubt, this is going to be one bad night for me.

-

The funny thing about my nightmares is they never lose their edge. Not with time, not with practice, not with comparison. I’ve seen Cato get eaten by the mutts hundreds of times. I’ve watched Clove stab me with her knives and Brutus chase me through the jungle and Enobaria break my neck with one hand, more than I could possibly count.

I’ve witnessed my sister detonate, as if I’m still standing right there, in the city circle of the Capitol. I’ve witnessed it thousands of times since that day. I’ve witnessed it more often than I’ve managed to actually sleep since that day.

And it never gets easier. It never becomes routine. I’m never ever prepared for it.

Instead I’m left paralyzed as the same dreams plague me over and over and over again.

Other things do change though. I used to thrash around, kicking and screaming as the dreams tortured me for minutes on end. I used to wake up, sweat covered and coiled up in my bedding, trapped in a physical sense that only manages to make my dreams even more intense somehow.

But over time something shifted and somehow, between the bomb that killed my sister and taking down Coin and the trial I scarcely remember, the thrashing stopped and the walking began.

For months now, I’ve woken to find myself in strange rooms, in small crawl spaces I didn’t know existed, inside cupboards and beneath beds no one’s ever used in guest rooms I barely recognize.

But I’ve never found myself outside before. Never, in all the time I’ve dealt with these dreams, have I ever once ended up in my front lawn.

Never, in my wildest imagination, did I picture myself waking from my nightmare, facedown in some dirt, ripping grass from the ground as I let out a rabid scream.

“Katniss,” I hear a voice softly murmur, like speaking to an injured fawn, terrified of scaring them away. “Katniss, it’s okay.”

And my lips cry for the voice before my brain fully recognizes it. “Peeta?”

“It’s just me,” he says, and I feel his hands grasp the tops of my arms, gently pulling me upright. “It’s only me.”

I pry my swollen eyes open and take in Peeta’s kind, worried face, mere inches away from mine.

“You’re here?” I croak, still groggy and confused. “What’s going on?”

“You were having a nightmare,” he explains, thumbing away my tears as more come pouring out. “But it’s over now. It was just a dream. You’re okay.” His hand cups my cheek softly, holding the weight of my head.

I nod plaintively, my body still completely exhausted despite the fact I was just asleep. “I’m okay,” I try to say but all that comes out is a guttural raspy sound and I watch as his face softens even more.

“Come on. Let’s get you inside,” he whispers, offering me his hand.

I take it without question, but find that I’m not upright for long. The moment I’m standing, my bare feet touching the dewy grass, Peeta bends down and scoops me up in his arms.

I don’t question it though. Maybe secretly I wanted him to do that. I definitely didn’t want to wait around to see if Haymitch came outside, asking why I was screaming at this hour of the day.

Peeta carries me into the house as if I weigh as much as Buttercup, kicking the door shut behind him and walking over to the couch. He sits down with me on his lap and drops his arms, as if to let me decide the next move. I could either crawl away from him, put some distance between us, or I could remain where I am.

To me, the choice barely takes any consideration.

I curl up closer to him, the images from the dream still too fresh to handle alone. I press my face into his neck and fold myself into him and hope he reciprocates in kind.

It doesn’t take more than a second for him to respond. As soon as I initiate it, he’s there, pulling me tighter, cradling me against him, rocking me back and forth like I’m something precious to behold.

“It’s okay,” he repeats again and again and again, as if we entered a time warp and we’re back on the train, back in the Capitol in our little apartment, sharing a bed, guarding against nightmares we stupidly thought would be the height of our troubles. “I have you, Katniss. I won’t let anything hurt you now.”

I cry into the collar of his shirt, drained and shaking and still half-crazed, feeling slightly better only when his fingers begins to smooth my hair away from my face.

“I’m right here, sweetheart,” Peeta whispers gently, his hand moving from my hair to my lower back, rubbing soft, soothing circles there to alleviate my trembling.

Time begins to pass. My tears dwindle to nothing. I feel the shaking come to an end. Every last ounce of energy I have left seeps from my body. My eyes grow heavy.

And pretty soon, I feel myself lifted once again, into strong, protective arms, cradling me like a baby as they carry me up the stairs and down to the end of the hall.

I’m tucked into bed gently, with the utmost care. The covers are brought up to my chin, my hair is brushed off my forehead and his fingers lightly dance upon my cheek. But it’s not enough. I still crave more.

“Don’t leave me,” I whisper, and my voice still isn’t mine, it’s someone else, someone who isn’t afraid to ask for what she wants. For who she wants to lay beside her in the darkness.

“Okay,” he murmurs and it sounds like a promise but as he sits down on the side of my bed and takes my hand in his, planting a soft kiss upon the back of it, I know he doesn’t understand what I’m truly asking.

“No, Peeta, that’s not what I meant,” I say, shaking my head, before pushing the covers back. “Can you get in? Can you stay with me?”

I don’t really grasp my word choice and all the underlying meanings until it’s already slipped out and too late to take back again.

But I only have a moment to be filled with regret. Because that’s how long it takes Peeta to slide in beside me.

And as I curl into him, wrapping my leg around his waist, burrowing my face in the curve of his neck, basking in the feeling of utter safety and happiness that I have never, ever found in another pair of arms, he whispers the only thing that could erase my chagrin.

“Always.”

[luna-loveboop]

It's all "links meet aus" and "zeldas meet aus", but where's my "companions meet aus"?

I wanna see midna bash fi and navis heads together for annoying her

I mean can you imagine the sheer chaos of all the Zelda companions meeting and going on a journey together? They're all companions/guides! One of thems a talking hat for hylias sake how are they supposed to take initiative?

I think it'd be like Lu where they all just meet up, but can you imagine the chain just somehow finds out this happened (and twilight is just like guys I am so sorry about midna) (but they're also really oddly touched that all their friends met each other too)

Pretty sure midna would be the sort of leader, since the last time she was in a foreign world she just found the nearest dude and started ordering him around. By like halfway through twilight princess she was literally asking LINK to accompany her to get what she needed.

But like. 90% of the group would be fairies. Which can't heal. One is a talking hat who just needs a head? He can't go on midnas cause she throws him off with her magic hair, poor ezlo is just trying to keep up.

They also have these weird green shadows who come around? They don't talk, but there's a rock, a fish, a bird, and a lady who just appear and stab things and shoot wind water fire and lightning.

Also midnas really confused why wolf link just shows up and kills things every now and then (from botw amibo)

Fi is the one who can talk to Hylia and awaken memories and get guidance and information or whatever, but she only does this by ballerina dancing and the others are always pissed at her anyways "WE DONT KNOW WHAT BATTERIES ARE OR A WII REMOTE WILL YOU PLEASE GO BACK IN SWORD FORM ALREADY" "I detect there is a 90% chance you need a key to open this door" "wow. Your perception is unparalleled fi."

Also there's a boat. A boat. Who is also good at taking charging since he's a king, which causes some friction between him and midna, since she has to grab him by her hair to move him half the time.

And with the fairies. Again. They all offer advice mainly. And with the fairies a lot of their main role is speaking and getting attention and pitching in? They come on an intersection and there's a chorus of bells all shouting the same directions. Ezlo is trying to cover the kings ears from his place on the boats head

Also there's this ghost/spirit of Zelda that everyone just feels REALLY strong loyalty to. But she's just like this kid who wants her body back?! They try to protect her but she can turn into a purple knight and stab things so there's that. I think there's also some animal companions from ooa/oos so.

Side quests are nonexistent they don't care about a village or gathering frogs for a kid they are there to save the world on a mission linear plot it is

And it's interesting because you have so many of them who just vanish and then appear to give loud advice. All at once. And the fighting skills basically fall to those weird green shadows that shoot various elements and fight and randomly disappear. Midna and spirit Zelda can fight, and Fi can too (kind of like how she fights as a sword in hyrule warriors). Also up to you if midna is drop dead gorgeous or devilish imp.

By the end they find whatever enemy so they can go back and midna is so pissed by this point that she hears the word "batteries" from Fi and goes full on fused shadow and just obliterates the jerk

***I have not played all the games so do not know or understand all of the companions and probably got some stuff wrong

Bonus: there is a child in a village named Link who does not have the spirit of the hero. He is stalked for three days until Fi decides his vibes are off and they all stop telling him he's the chosen one

[phantompanties]

🔞MINORS DNI🔞

And They Were Roomates

Summary: It's your senior year at New World University, and there's been some changes to the dorms since you went home for your summer break. As such, roommate plans have been rearranged, and you were to meet your new one today. Imagine your shock when the man who walked through the door was your tormentor for most of your life here...

Relationship: Eustass kidd x Fem!reader

Tags: modern au, college au, Kidd is a bully, sexual tension, hatefucking, cunnilingus, vaginal sex, name calling, rough sex, creampie, brat taming if you squint, Kidd catches feelings at the end

Length: nearly 3k words

The lock of your dormitory door clicked as you twisted the key, granting you access. When you were welcomed by a dark entryway, you realized your mysterious new roommate wasn’t here yet. No matter, you didn’t mind being here first.

Due to a complication with the system, you were unable to find out who your roommate for this semester was going to be. It truthfully made you a little nervous, as your last roommate was a total sweetheart named Koala, a political science major who dabbled in martial arts. The two of you became fast friends during the previous few semesters, but alas, life wasn't so kind this time around. Starting fresh wasn’t bad though. You at least hoped that your new roommate would be just as nice as Koala. You pulled your luggage into one of the two small bedrooms allotted to you. You found it a little strange that there were two bedrooms, as you were used to the same single-room dorms you and Koala shared, but it wasn’t unwelcome. It felt like a luxury to actually have some privacy. When you were finished, you looked around the common area. It was very cramped, only having room for a loveseat and an itty bitty coffee table across from the small TV mounted to the wall, but again, it was far bigger than the dorms you were used to. You were actually kind of excited!

Of course, that excitement was interrupted by the door swinging wide open, and your heart sank when a familiar broom of red hair ducked through the frame.

When his amber eyes caught sight of you, his whole face soured. “No fuckin’ way. You!?”

Oh sweet merciful lord, NO. Eustass Kidd!? Your mysterious roommate is the biggest pain in your ass since you enrolled!? He’s done nothing but bully you around like a middle schooler every time the two of you had a class! This bastard was the number one reason you were so happy to go home for the summer every year!

You swallowed your shock and disdain, attempting to figuratively be the bigger person. “I… wasn’t expecting this…”

“Yeah, well neither was I!” he spits, his Scottish accent thick in his speech. “I have the bloody misfortune of rooming with this fuckin’ twat!”

“Excuse me!?” you bark. “How dare you!?”

“Ya heard me, bird. I can’t fuckin stand bein’ around yer prissy arse.”

“Prissy!?” you exclaim. “Well excuse me for actually caring about my appearance! You always look like you just rolled out of bed!”

“It’s called bein’ punk, ya dafty.” He shoots back. “That’s the bloody point.”

“I’ve seen punks that take better care of their appearance than you! Not to mention the stench every time I have the misfortune of being near you. If you’re gonna live here, at least take a fucking shower every day!”

“Oh, that’s rich comin’ from the twat that reeks like she bathes in a tub o’ perfume every mornin’! How many bottles do ya go through a week? I can smell ya from three rooms over!”

“It’s a nice smell and I hardly use that much!” you shoot back. “Maybe if you stopped huffing engine fumes all goddamn day you’d be able to appreciate it.”

“Hah!” he barks out a laugh. “At least I’m usin’ my time for somethin’ useful! Aren’t you majorin’ somethin’ bloody useless? Like English?”

“I’m a Communications major, dumbass. Big difference.”

“Aye, whatever. Don’t get yer knickers in a twist.” Kidd huffs, throwing his prosthetic arm up and dragging his luggage to his bedroom. Thank god the two of you at least had separate rooms…

When he returned from his room, he pointed at you. “We’re gonna have tae lay down some ground rules, bird. Coz if I’m stuck roomin’ with ya, I want my life to at least be a little tolerable.”

“I should be saying that…” you huff, crossing your arms.

“One, keep yer bleedin’ trap shut. I hate listenin’ to ya yap enough as it is.”

“You can’t just tell me to be quiet, asshole!” you argue. “That isn’t fair!”

“Life ain’t fair, ninny. Two, stay the fuck away from my room. If I catch a whiff of yer stench on any of my shit, there’ll be hell to pay.”

“That goes the same for you.” you agree.

Kidd snorts. “Three, you’ll let me bring over whoever the hell I want and ya won’t say a damn thing about it. That includes whoever I feel like shaggin’ that night.”

“Oh great, I get to listen to you disappoint your lovers in real-time. Is it my birthday?” you snark.

“Oy! Don’t be callin’ me some one-pump-chump, bird. You’d be surprised to know how many hoors I got blowin’ my phone up every day.”

“I didn’t call you a one-pump-chump,” you say with a smirk. “You’re telling on yourself.”

Kidd choked on air, and you felt like you could dance in victory. You actually got one on him! This is a high you’ll be riding for the rest of your life!

“Right, now listen here, ya cheeky cunt.” Kidd, growls, getting in your face and poking you in the chest with his prosthetic hand. “Don’t be thinkin’ that just coz ya made a little joke that yer above me. I guarantee that I can have ya shakin’ and screamin’ my name all night.”

“Looks like I struck a nerve,” you say, still smirking and looking up at his fiery eyes. “But I don’t believe your empty lies, Kidd. sorry.”

“Oh, it’s not a lie, bird…” Kidd growls, lifting your chin with his metal finger. “It’s a promise.”

Something about the way he said that sent electricity shooting down your belly and into your groin. Fuck, you hated this bastard, but the way his bright eyes were boring into you so hungrily made you wanna squeeze your thighs together.

“What do ya say, bird? Ya want a ride with the Eustass Kidd? The way yer lookin’ at me, I’d say yes…”

“Don’t call yourself “the” Eustass Kidd like you’re some kind of celebrity, dumbass.” you snarked.

“Oy, do somethin’ about that mouth o’ yours or I’m gonna do it for ye,” he growled, gripping your jaw and squishing your cheeks.

“Do it, you won’t,” you whispered, challenging him.

Kidd smashed his ruby-painted lips into yours then, groaning in a way that made your core throb. He moved his hands down to your ass, squeezing with both his flesh and prosthetic hands. Your hands travelled up his broad chest, hooking around his thick neck. When his tongue licked your greedy lips, you opened them, permitting him to shove it down your throat. The air became heated as the two of you clicked your teeth together, rubbing and grinding your bodies in an intense display of raw lust.

You squeaked as his rough hands picked you up like you weighed nothing, wrapping your legs around his torso. He smirked into your lips as he carried you to his bed.

Once there, he threw you into his sheets, not even waiting for you to settle out the first couple of bounces before he went and attacked your pretty lips again. He could feel that his lipstick was smudged all over both of your mouths, but he didn’t give a fuck. You tasted too fucking good, and he wanted more.

He disconnected your lips for a moment, smirking at the translucent string of saliva that connected your tongues. He removed his faded band tee, revealing his thick, muscled body scarred from years of reckless street fighting. He went in to tug your shirt off next, groaning in your ear. “Let me see that fuckin’ body of yours, bird.”

You gasped breathlessly, helping him remove your blouse and bra. When your chest was bare, he licked his lips approvingly. “Been wantin’ to see these pretty tits since I met ya.”

“Yeah, I bet, pervert.” you snark.

Growling, Kidd dove into your neck, biting and licking while he pinched your nipples in his warm flesh hand, rolling and tugging between his fingers. You bit your lip, holding in your moans.

“Ah, ah, don’t be doin’ that birdie. Let me hear how much ya love it,” he smirked against your skin.

“Y-you’ll have to do better than that, Useless Mid.” you challenge. “You aren’t getting shit from me.”

“Oh, the little prissy miss has a spine, eh? Very well.” you shivered when he looked you dead in the eyes. The look he was giving you was downright predatory.

In a swift motion, KIdd tugged down your sweats and panties at the same time, revealing your glistening folds. You looked away from his face then, embarrassed.

“Aww, are you gettin’ shy on me, bird? Where’s your cheeky jokes?”

“Sh-shut the fuck up…” you mumble, still not looking in his eyes.

“Don’t tell me you’re a virgin, love. Surely you’ve shagged at least a few times with this body of yours.”

“I-I don’t think that’s any of your business!” you gasp at him.

“I’m right ain’t I?” he grins.

“No, you’re not!” you shout, covering your face in annoyance. “I’m just not used to it being like this!”

“Ah, but you like it, don’t ya, bird? Yer as wet as a drowned rat.”

“Shut up…”

“I bet your minge tastes just as sweet as your mouth, birdie. I’m gonna give ya the face ride o’ yer fuckin’ life.”

“Stop talking and do it already you- hnnHHAAHH!”

You couldn’t contain your moan when Kidd’s rough tongue licked a stripe up your sopping folds, and he chuckled. “There it is. Keep making those sounds, pretty girl.”

You hated to admit this, but this was probably the best head you’ve gotten in your life. Kidd drank from you greedily like you were a water fountain and he was dying of thirst. The way his lips latched around your clit and the sounds of him slurping from your dripping hole were enough to make you go crazy. Your hand found his mess of scarlet red hair, tugging him further into your aching pussy as you ground it on his face. Kidd couldn’t contain his moans and the vibrations shocked your clit deliciously.

“Mmmhf… yer close, ain’t ya, bird?” he groans against your hole as he slurps. “Mmmngh… yer twitchin’ on me face. C’mon, then. Cum on my tongue ya dirty cunt. Y’know ya want tae.”

You gripped his hair harder with one hand and covered your mouth with the other, letting out a loud moan as your orgasm ripped through. Kidd moaned into your pussy as he lapped up your delicious cream.

While you were lying there, twitching with aftershocks, Kidd admired the new bright red pair of lipstick panties he left on your cute pussy. He wished his phone was closer to the bed so he could take a picture for his wank bank. Oh well, he had a good memory anyway.

“Sh-shit…” you gasped. “Oh fuck…”

“Mmmh, that don’t sound like disappointment to me, birdie,” Kidd smirks, leaning in front of your face.

“S-so what? You may be good with your mouth, but it doesn’t change the fact you’re a one-pump-chump…”

“You’re losin’ yer edge, lass. You don’t sound like ya mean that anymore.”

“Shut up, asshole.” you spat, although still breathless. “I’m not changing my mind.”

“Well, then I’ll just have to make ya, then.” he chuckles.

Kidd momentarily stepped off the bed to remove his belts and pants, revealing a sizable tent in his boxers. You swallowed in anticipation, a little nervous.

Kidd made a show of revealing his cock, and by god, Kidd was a large man, and that thing was proportional. Your eyes widened in both hunger and a little bit of fear and he laughed.

“Ya like what ya see, birdie?” he asks, stroking it slowly.

“It’s… bigger than I expected…” you whimper.

This seemed to stroke Kidd’s ego exponentially because he gave a low growl. “That’s right, bird. And every last inch is gonna fill ya right up.”

He knelt back on the bed, pulling your hips forward and slowly rubbing his cock up and down your pussy.

“Ah yeah, you’re nice n’ wet for me, ya dirty girl. It should slide in no problem.”

“W-will it fit…?” you gulp.

You saw Kidd’s cock twitch at that. “Careful, bird. You’re askin’ for me to break the bed when ya talk like that.”

Kidd lined himself with your drooling hole, slowly pushing himself inside. He threw his head back as your gummy walls fluttered around the intrusion.

“Fuck…” he moans. “So hot… so tight…”

You gripped the sheets as he slid further into your walls, nearly bumping your cervix with his blunt tip.

“Shit… yer like a bloody vice on my cock, birdie…” he groans, biting his lip.

“You’re just too fucking big!” you whine.

“Yeah, but you love it,” he says, leaning down and smirking in your face. “Yer hips are movin’ on their own, love. Ya want me to rail ya senseless, don’tcha? Ya want me to ruin other guys for ya? I’ll give ya what ya want, birdie. I’ll make you addicted to my cock.”

“Nnghf… shut up and fuck me!” you snap.

Kid grinned wildly, diving into your neck and slowly pulling out, then slamming back in. he gave a few harsh thrusts before he set a brutal pace, fucking you like a man possessed. It wasn’t a stretch to say he was, your pussy just felt that fucking good.

You whined, scrambling to find his neck for purchase. God the feeling of him stretching you was heavenly. You couldn’t help but rake your nails across his shoulders. Kidd leaned back from your neck, admiring the deep bite marks he left as he pounded you. Now Kidd was in there deep, but he felt like he could go deeper. He took his big hands, both flesh and metal, gripping your hips and pulling you even further onto his cock. You gasped, eyes filling with stars as his blunt head kissed against your cervix. “God… I’ve been wanting to fill your cunt for so fuckin’ long… wish I’d done this sooner…!”

“F-fuck! Kidd!” you wail, your fingernails drawing angry red lines in his skin.

Kidd growled, grabbing the back of your thighs and folding you in half. The man had you in a mating press and was pounding into you so hard you were sure you heard the floor creaking. Your eyes rolled back into your head and Kidd chuckled, his eyes darkened with lust.

“I can feel ya gettin’ tighter, love. Ya wanna cum so bad, don’tcha? Yer already creamin’ so good on me. Say ya wanna cum, birdie. Tell me how bad ya want it.”

“F-fuck… fuck you, Kidd…” you whine, screwing your eyes shut.

“You’re already doin’ that birdie. C’mon now, don’t be shy. Tell me ya wanna cum. Beg for it. Fuckin’ scream it.”

“L-let me cum, Kidd, please!” you wail. “I need it! Fuck, please!”

Kidd groaned, cock twitching in your walls. “Good girl.”

His flesh hand travelled between your bodies. And his thumb met your clit, rubbing in tight circles. “Come on… cum on my cock, ya dirty cunt. Let the whole buildin’ know who ya belong to.”

White hot pleasure exploded in your veins, and your gummy walls clamped and fluttered on Kidd’s cock. A ring of white spilled around the base.

“Grrghh-FUCK!!!” Kidd moans, shoving his cock balls deep into you and painting your insides white with his hot sticky cum. He thrust a few times, riding out both of your highs until it got painful with overstimulation. When he was done, he collapsed with his face in your tits, being sure to mind his weight.

“Oh… oh my god…” you pant, mind thoroughly blown.

“Sounds like ya had a good time, birdie,” Kidd whispers in your ear.

You groaned. “A-alright fine… you’re good at sex, I admit it.”

Kidd surprised you by gently kissing your cheek, rolling off you and slipping his soft cock out of you at the same time.

As the two of you calmed down, you glanced at him. “So… you wanted to do that for a while, huh?”

For the first time you think you’ve ever seen, Eustass Kidd flushed bright red. You giggled, stroking your finger down his chest. “Did you spill a big secret?”

“Aye, haud yer wheesht, ya twat…” he grumbled.

“You don’t mean that Kiddy.” you tease. “You wanted me, admit it! How long have you been thinking about this?”

Kidd mumbled something incoherent, and you rolled over on his chest. “Say that again, Kidd. I can't hear you.”

“Fuck’s sake—since that time in class ya smacked the shite outta me for callin’ ya a bimbo.”

You couldn’t contain your snort. “Really? You got hard over a smack?”

Kidd flushed deeper. “I like when bonnies are able tae smack me around… it's a nice challenge…”

“Wow.” you say. “You’re full of surprises.”

“Shut it before I make ya regret openin’ that cheeky mouth o’ yours, bird.”

You snorted, resting your head on his large chest. “For what it’s worth, no one’s ever made me cum so hard in my life. I can barely feel my legs right now…”

Kidd grunted, wrapping his flesh arm around your waist and pulling you closer. “I suppose I can let ya stay here… just for tonight.”

“Oh, how gentlemanly.” you giggle, nuzzling into his large pecs. “Good, because you’re really comfortable.”

Kidd’s cheeks dusted pink. “Whatever, birdie. Just don't drool on me, aye?”

“No promises.” you sigh dreamily.

[green-eyedfirework]

“You’re not Ra’s al Ghul,” the figure noted.

“I know.”

“How about,” his throat was dry and his words raspy, “I promise not to scream if you toss me the keys.”

~#~

“Why didn’t you try and kill the bastard, instead of getting your fool head cracked open on the stones?”

Dick turns to shoot the assassin a quicksilver, insincere smile.  “How'd you think I got chained to the bed?”

~#~

“You know,” Dick said, exhaustion tugging at him, “There’s nothing stopping me from warning Ra’s the moment he walks through the door.”

“I could kill you as soon as I heard footsteps,” the assassin remarks, unconcerned, “Snap that pretty little neck.  By the time he can tell the difference, he’ll be too close to escape.”

Fuck.

“Or, you can promise to keep that mouth shut, and I’ll unlock you when I’m done.”  Dick shifts to stare at the assassin.  “Don’t tell me you have any love lost for Ra’s al Ghul.”

~#~

“The Light sends their regards,” the assassin says quietly, and Dick goes very, very still.

“Everything alright?” the assassin asks as he does what he promised and unchains Dick.  Dick warily sidles off the bed, away from the dead body.  “You seem a little tense.”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” the assassin looks up at him, pinning him in place with that one mercilessly blue eye, “Prince Richard?”

~#~

“What’s the catch?”

“No catch,” Slade shrugs, “I’m a hunter, little bird.  I enjoy the thrill of the chase, stalking my prey as they stumble and falter and finally collapse, mired in the despair of their inevitable capture.”

That smile looks almost wolf-like.

~#~

The weight of hips flush with his own is what makes him freeze, heart rate spiking, his mouth going dry as he braces himself for pain, as panic and dread swirl together in his stomach, no please no having long since gone soundless, there was no point begging if it was never heeded—

The weight disappears.

“I’m not going to rape you, kid.”

It takes Dick a long, fumbling moment to brace his hands against the ground and push himself up.  Slade is back on the other side of the fire, sharpening his knife and glancing idly at Dick.

“And—” his voice sounds like he gargled seawater, “And I’m supposed to take your word for it?”

“I haven’t lied to you so far.”

“You said you’d let me go.”

“No, I said I’d unlock your chains, and I did.  I said I’d kill Ra’s al Ghul, and I did.  I said I’d catch you if you ran, and I did.”

~#~

“So how did the Crown Prince of Gotham end up a prisoner of Ra’s al Ghul?”

“Talia al Ghul,” Dick says quietly, “She broke from her father and fled to Gotham and my father married her.  And Ra’s decided that if Bruce stole his daughter and heir, he would do the same.”  Dick remembers that first spike of panic, past fear, past snarling rage, when Ra’s forced him down and fingers fumbled at his belt.  “And if Bruce took his daughter to bed, then he’d do the same to me.”

“I highly doubt that Lady Wayne is locked up in a tower and chained to a bed.”

“Lady Wayne didn’t try to kill Bruce at least three times.”  Dick pauses, and considers what he knows of his stepmother.  “Probably.”

~#~

Dick stares up at the furious assassin looming over him, and knows that this isn’t a fight he can win.  He’s still breathing through the injuries he got from the gang, and all he can do is curl up and try to survive Slade’s rage.

The cocoon of blankness is waiting like an old friend, and Dick sinks gratefully into it, withdrawing from his body, from the existing pains and what will soon be done to it, and hoping that he still has one to come back to.  For now, he drifts in the fog, untethered and alone.

There are fingers on his jaw, moving his head, a narrowed blue eye filling his vision.  “This a trick you learned with Ra’s?” the voice asks.

“What?” Dick says.  Slurs.  It’s all the same.

“Going away.”

Dick hums an affirmative.  He wouldn’t have survived Ra’s if he couldn’t...disconnect when he had to.  Ra’s didn’t care.

[sinner-sunflower]

A HH Lucifer-centric AU 4/?

PART 1 , PART 2, PART 3, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10, PART 11, PART 12, PART 13, PART 14, PART 15, PART 16, PART 17, PART 18, PART 19, PART 20, PART 21, PART 22

Thanks to your support, I am so committed to this. When I finish this, I plan to make it into a long, proper, one-shot- better format and everything!

I've been doing these chapters in the middle of work lmao, so if you see a typo or some edits, it's me rereading it after work.

I'm trying to include more Alastor but he's pretty hard to write.

I used Velvette so much here cos I love her as that bitch you love to hate. She is obviously the spokesperson of the Vees

---------------------------------------------

The hotel lobby is filled with unbearable silence as hell's overlords and high members of the Ars Goetia arrive one by one.

Just a few hours ago, Alastor heard from Carmila Carmine that the king had called a meeting for the top ruling people of hell. Charlie doesn't know why her dad called for it in the hotel.

The Ars Goetia (minus Stolas) were whispering among themselves and shooting the sinner overlords dirty looks every now and again. The overlords were good at pretending they couldn't hear anything. Apparently, they at least have the sense to know that that would be a fight they cannot win.

The hotel's residents collectively claimed it as their spot. Husk is talking with Angel quietly, keeping him distracted and out of view of Valentino, Vaggie is holding her spear as she keeps a close eye on the strangers in their home, Nifty is obsessively cleaning a corner of the bar (Husk keeps telling her that it is still dirty just so she won't venture elsewhere), and Cherri is playing with an unlit bomb in her hand.

Rosie and Stolas decided to approach Charlie and Alastor at the bar at the same time, both slightly bowed to her.

Charlie: Prince Stolas. Rosie.

Stolas: Hello, princess.

Charlie: How's Octavia?

Stolas: Via misses your outings together. But she is fine. She's with her mother today.

Rosie: Not that I'm not happy to see ya, Alastor. But why exactly are we here? Our Carmila has not stated a reason why.

Alastor: You know as much as me, my dear.

Stolas: It must be dire. His majesty rarely calls for the Goetia's presence. He is not here yet?

Charlie: No. He went down in Sloth earlier. I'm worried. After what happened yesterday, I..

Rosie: Yesterday? Did something happen, sweetie?

Charlie realizes the slip up and backtracks.

Charlie: Nothing, Rosie!

Rosie gives her a look that tells her they're going to be talking about it later. She gives the overlord a weak thumbs up.

Meanwhile, Velvette decides enough is enough and they have wasted too much time waiting.

Velvette: Ugh! Vois, let's go. This is a fuckin' joke.

Carmila: Velvette, calm yourself.

Valentino: Why should she? I had very important shit to shoot today and me being here is making me lose money.

Alastor: Then perhaps you should step down. Having to attend the bare minimum duty of their title must be so difficult for someone so... undeserving.

The Radio Demon has a giant patronizing grin plastered on his face. Alastor's comment prompted Vox to speak up.

Vox: Oh, you timely piece of shit! Fight us right now, Alastor!

Alastor: How unbecoming. Throwing tantrums in front of royalty!

Velvette: I for one, don't want to sit here waiting for a no-show fossil

Charlie's demon side flares as the demon insults her dad.

Charlie: How fucking dare you?!

Random Goetia: You shall know better than to disrespect your king, insolent pest.

Velvette: Ha! You think we're scared of a bunch of birds?

Alastor: Should have known you three cannot behave for a simple meeting haha!

Soon everyone was yelling obscenities at each other, filling the hotel with chaos. Before a proper fight could break out, the door opens with a bang, silencing every demon.

Lucifer has arrived, following him were the other Sins. They were arguing amongst themselves from behind him. Charlie can only catch glimpses of what is being said as voices overlap each other.

Beelzebub: Bel-

Mammon: Are you fuckin-

Satan: Wrath is-

Leviathan: We cannot-

Asmodeus: Evacuation-

Belphegor: Grown another mile-

Lucifer says nothing the entire time and just takes a seat in the middle of the semi-circle table he conjured up. With the way the table was placed in front of everyone else, Charlie gets the feeling of deja vu of her hearing in heaven. But now her dad will be the one passing judgment.

Most of the sinners in the room back up as the Sins continue to argue with their full form.

Lucifer sits back and raises a hand and the yelling stops.

Back then, she never really understood why demons were afraid of her dad. He was always a silly and happy guy when spending time with her. But one time, she sneaks into his rare meetings with the Sins and sees why he was called the devil.

The anger she saw then could have given her Uncle Satan a run for Uncle Mammon's money.

Lucifer: Thank you all for coming on such short notice. I will cut to the chase. I have called you all here because something is brewing at the very depths of hell. Something that may affect us all.

Stolas: The Ars Goetia is at your disposal, sire. But may I ask what is this about?

Belphegor: I can answer that. A few months ago, an anomaly appeared at the edge of Sloth. It was not a problem until-

She pressed her touchpad and a hologram screen appeared showing the infected ground.

Not a single demon didn't widen their eyes.

Angel: What the fuck is that?

Belphegor: We wouldn't have called you all here if it was not this severe.

She taps and shows a mutilated demon pig.

Belphegor: This is Patient Zero. An animal on a nearby farm made contact with the anomaly. It instantly infected the whole body, controlling the creature whilst killing it slowly. If it can affect an animal like this, we fear what it may do to-

Velvette: And what do you expect us to do about it exactly? Why the fuck would we care about some old place we can't even go to.

Belphegor is briefly stunned by the interruption but ignores the sinner's disrespect.

Belphegor: Because you would have to be naive to think that it will stop in Sloth. We cannot be too careful.

Velvette: So you think we would risk our lives? Yeah. No thanks. How do we even know that it will affect us? It's just a pig. The worst we can get is horrible floor decor.

Lucifer stands up and moves silently towards the middle for everyone to see.

Lucifer: Free will does not mean you are free from consequences.

The king starts to remove his shirt to everyone's panic, except Belphegor.

Mammon: Woah woah, mate. The fuck ya doin?

Lucifer shrugs off the last piece of clothing to reveal the glowing, infected marks. It has not been a day since he touched it but the veins are already covering the entire right half of his torso.

Charlie: Dad!

The princess attempts to go to her father's side but Vaggie holds her back.

Lucifer: Shall we proceed without any more interruptions?

---------------------------------------------

What to look forward to in Part 5:

the rest of the meeting

more dialogue from the other Sins. Cannot decide what personality to give to Leviathan.

My HC for Satan is he's like one of those old butler types but has a jacked body (I know he has that workout app, but I'm leaning more of the liver king type of a gentle strongman with anger issues. I don't want him to be a fuckboy gymbro)

more badass lucifer

the Vees getting scolded like the children they are

[attractive-nuisance-esq]

Ed’s journey this season is going to perfectly mirror addiction and recovery, and I am so fucking here for it. Watching these first three episodes of S2 was like watching a highly dramatized AU of my own descent into rock bottom (except everyone was dressed wayyyyyy cooler than I ever was), so I have a lot of thoughts, reactions, and insights that I want to share with other fans. I’m sure many of us who have struggled with our mental health connected with Ed in these episodes, but I think addiction is the most appropriate lens through which to view him because addicts (more often than people who struggle with other mental illnesses) so wholly destroy their own lives and utterly devastate those of their loved ones. I want to share - from the perspective of someone who has steered her own ship straight into a storm and woke up alone to face some very hard choices - what is going on with Ed at the start of this season and what I think is coming.

Let me start by saying that Ed isn’t literally addicted to any one thing, despite his heavy use of drugs and alcohol, but his goal is the same as that of all addicts: escape. He does not want to sit with the pain of Stede leaving him on an immediate, surface level; on a deeper, more habitual level, he doesn’t want to sit with the pain of his own self-loathing. Of course the two are related: the former brings the latter to a head. Stede abandoning him dredges up and brightly illuminates all of his insecurities, and now Ed has to run. Get out. Escape. Don’t think about it. So he is fighting, stealing, drinking, snorting, shooting, killing - whatever it takes to not think about it.

“Demon? I’m the fuckin’ devil.” People in recovery often talk about addiction as if it were a separate, sentient monster living within them. Ed taking on the mantle of demon - a creature known specifically for possession, for removing the host’s free will - is intentional. So is his insistence that he’s not just any demon but the demon. The worst there is. (More on that when we get to The Innkeeper.)

Izzy’s confrontation of Ed in the captain’s cabin and then on deck is a form of intervention. Izzy is trying to help Ed, but of course this goes terribly for him and for Ed because interventions (I cannot stress this enough) are maybe the worst thing you could do to an addict. All addicts know things are bad, but they cannot be pushed to change one single second before they’re ready. Ed knows things are bad. He’s well-aware of how he’s spending his time, how his crew feels about him, how disappointed Izzy is. Being confronted with all of those truths by Izzy was always only going to make him do two things: 1) dig further into his unhealthy coping mechanisms, never mind that they don’t have nearly the effect that they used to; and 2) lash out at the person who forced him to think about it. Izzy lost his leg the moment he stepped into Ed’s cabin.

The impossible bird. You guys remember the song Chandelier by Sia? The one about her addiction to alcohol? The whole thing may as well come right out of Ed’s mouth at the end of that first episode, because that experience is exactly what he’s trying to convey to Frenchie. Nevermind that Frenchie has the temerity to tell him the bird can’t exist, that it has to come down sometime, that flying forever isn’t sustainable. The bird can come down on its own terms, or crash… but Frenchie’s definitely not going to say that much. Still, “that sounds like something that can’t exist” hits Ed, and leads us to the next episode.

Now we’ve got Ed forlorn, heartbroken, almost catatonic while playing with his cake toppers. We don’t actually see him crying in the opening of the episode, which is the point. He’s done crying now. The impossible bird can’t exist, and Ed has already resigned himself to this. He’s decided to die. The only sure-fire permanent way to not think about it.

When next we see Ed, he seems to be doing better, but this is a huge red flag for anyone who knows to look. He’s giving away his responsibility to Frenchie; he’s cleaning the cabin for the closure. He knows the end is coming fast, and the relief that knowledge brings him leaves him weirdly at peace. It is he eeriest part of these episodes, IMO.

Then he goes to find his first mate, the person who knows him better than anyone else in the world, the man he just fucking shot and ordered killed. Ed needs his low opinion of himself validated, and of course he thinks he’ll get it from Izzy after everything he’s done to him. He wants the one person who has stuck with him through everything to confirm that he’s now irretrievably broken and no longer worthy of his love. Ed wants someone to tell him that he’s right: he should die.

He doesn’t get that from Izzy. Interestingly, Izzy doesn’t tell him he should die. He says “Clean up your own mess.” Izzy has learned the lesson now that Ed isn’t ready to get better and that he can’t make him be ready. (This post isn’t about Izzy, but hoo boy - I have big feels about that man.)

Ed has been indulging in various forms of self-destruction in order to not feel his feelings, and steering the ship into the storm is his worst indulgence yet. This is the worst of his crimes - not beheading or arson or a red wedding. It’s when he tries to bring down everyone who has ever loved him into his misery, into believing what he believes. The audience generally (and Ed’s audience of Stede specifically) can forgive him for hurting strangers and for the non-specific mayhem whose victims we’ve never met; but it is much less certain that anyone will forgive him for hurting the only family he’s ever known.

The storm itself is the perfect metaphor for Ed’s attempt on his and, incidentally, everyone else’s lives. One of the most common metaphors used by friends and family members of addicts is that of a hurricane: that their addicted loved-ones tend to destroy everything they touch, anyone who was foolish or brave enough to stick around. And, like hurricanes, addicts aren’t malicious. Ed’s primary goal here is to get himself killed, not to kill everyone else. He wants the ship to go down so his death is certain. His firing a cannonball into the mast and asking Jim and Archie to fight to the death isn’t malice: it’s utter and complete nihilism. Nothing matters anymore. Nothing and no one. The end is near, and he’s so fucking drunk and high off these distractions that he couldn’t think about it if he tried. He’s manic with relief. (See also: “Finally.”)

And now for the finale: Purgatory. Buckle up, because this is where the addiction analogy gets real *chef’s kiss.* Purgatory is the equivalent of the morning after the worst, most rock bottom binge night of your life. You wake up with no one for company but the ghosts of your former selves. Now what?

Well, first - who is Hornigold to Ed? Why is he the guy Ed sees? It’s because Hornigold is another addict, if you will, but one who is (in this Purgatory hallucination) farther along in his recovery. He can impart some wisdom from that place, but he can also stand in as someone Ed can loathe because they’re not as different as Ed once thought, even if Hornigold can say he’s grown.

Hornigold tries to give him soup. He tells Ed, “Gotta get these nutrients into you,” and then literally shoves soup down his throat. That’s what it’s like in rock bottom. You don’t want to take care of yourself, but some lizard brain survival instinct takes over and makes you drink water, eat a piece of fruit, take yourself to the hospital. These things don’t really happen voluntarily that morning after, but you can still count on that instinct to kick in with some damage control.

Ed telling Hornigold how he “got here.” Hornigold says “Mutiny. It’s always mutiny.” Ed insists his mutiny was special, worse somehow. This whole scene is exactly what happens in your first recovery support group meeting. You go in thinking no one has ever been as fucked and fucked up as you are, which makes you feel isolated and alone. But then you get there and everyone else in the circle has done the same shit, been through the same shit. Ed’s not actually the devil; he’s just another demon, like many demons before him.

Ed worries he’s insane when he reflects on everything he’s done. Hornigold’s reply that “Feeling bad isn’t going to rebuild an abdominal wall” is a concept that people usually learn a little bit later in recovery, so I expect we’ll see more on this theme from Ed. Guilt is a useless emotion that only serves to conversely make the addict feel better but doesn’t help the harmed party: the addict feels like their suffering is cleansing, but it’s not - feeling guilt is just more self-indulgence, more self-destruction. Hornigold - a fellow addict in this moment - is trying to get this lesson to him early. It’ll return.

“You’ve got to move on or blow your brains out.” We’re getting back to Purgatory as the metaphor for the morning-after rock bottom, because this is the exact calculation that every person in recovery has done. They all had to answer that one big question. Your whole life is a mess, and you made the mess. Do you want to clean it up? Or quit? (Or make some soup? Yeah. That big question can’t be answered without basic needs having been met. So let’s eat. Let’s start there. It’s easier.)

Now we have Ed’s fantasy about opening an inn: This is also a common part of the morning-after rock bottom. You start thinking about the wrong turns you took, the mistakes you made, the way your life was supposed to go and all the reasons you’re not where you wanted to be. (And all the people you can blame for the fact that your life didn’t go as planned.) And when that honest part of yourself starts telling you that actually it’s all your fault… well, a) you don’t wanna hear it, and b) you can’t silence (kill) that monster, no matter how hard you try. You’ve got to face it. Face all those truths you’ve been running from for years. Now you have to think about it.

So now the big question, the inevitable math. Hornigold suggests looking at the pros and the cons. That’s the easiest way to break the calculation into manageable variables. This is probably my favorite moment of the episode, because when you’re sitting there, morning after the worst night of your life, everything is fucked - these are the exact variables that go into your equation. Do I really want to live? You ask yourself that, and because your life is in fucking shambles, you come up with the stupidest goddamn reasons to keep going. You wanna see the next seasons of Good Omens and Loki. You wanna eat your mom’s spaghetti again. Sometimes it’s nice when someone hugs you. It’s never the big things that save your life; it’s a bunch of the littlest things. The smallest comforts. The big things… they’re too unattainable. They’re too much to hope for, and they’re more than you could possibly deserve. What are the pros of living for Ed? Warmth, good food, orgasms. This is a stunningly accurate representation of the things that will keep you alive once you’ve hit rock bottom.

And then the cons: “I don’t think anyone is waiting for me.” This is why addiction is the better metaphor. There is no human experience more isolating than addiction. You are alone in more ways than you’ve ever been before. You have pushed away or pissed off everyone who ever cared about you. And even the ones who will maybe still be there for you - they can’t help you clean up the mess you’ve made. You have to do the work alone, even if they’re still willing to stand next to you. And this con… it’s the scariest one. Your list of little pros looks so pathetic next to the horror of being utterly fucking alone. Who is going to brave that for some stupid shit like Tom Hiddleston sexily flipping his hair back in that Loki way he does? Why should Ed carry on just because blankets are cozy and marmalade is pleasant?

This is where we get to the moment on the mountain, and what Stede represents. Hornigold tells Ed “You’re unlovable, and you’re afraid to do anything about it.” Ed could do two things about being unlovable: He could try to fix it, or he could end it all. Hornigold represents the worst part of Ed: his weaknesses and cowardice. And if Hornigold is in the driver’s seat, he’s going to end it all. He throws the rock off the cliff, and Ed gets dragged down into the water to drown. (Let’s also talk later about how often addiction is compared to drowning, and how nothing else in the show actually threatened Ed’s life - not Izzy with a gun, not all the rhino horn, not Jim’s cannonball - like drowning in his own mind.)

But then there’s Stede. Stede is how the pros win over that one big, horrifying con. Stede is hope. Stede is just a glimmer of hope. Hope is the most important thing you need in the morning-after rock bottom. As much as I enjoy the idea that it was love that saved Ed, I don’t think that’s a wholly faithful interpretation. Because Stede’s love for Ed doesn’t solve anything, doesn’t fix anything - it certainly doesn’t fix Ed. It cannot fix Ed. Hornigold just told Ed that he’s the one who has to “do something about it,” because Ed is the only one who can save himself. But even if Stede’s love for him in itself isn’t what saves Ed, Ed’s trust in Stede combined with that love gives him hope. Stede loves Ed, truly loves him, came back to him even though he knows Ed’s nature, knows his list of crimes, knows what he’s done to Stede’s friends and family. And maybe Ed can find in himself what he trusts Stede truly sees. It’s a “maybe,” not a certainty. But it’s hope. Someone loves him. Maybe he can love himself, too.

This Woman’s Work: I read this song as referring more appropriately to Ed’s relationship with himself, in no small part because Ed literally made himself the woman in the cake topper couple. All the things that should have been done, should have been said - they’re things Ed needs to do and say to himself. He’s got a little life and a lot of strength left. The journey has just begun.

I want to pop back quickly to a few other moments in The Innkeeper that resonated, starting with Stede and Izzy’s discussion about what happened to Ed: “He went mad. He was a wild dog.” Izzy describes Ed’s breakdown as if he was no longer the same person he once was; this is exactly what addiction does to a person. Ed hasn’t been himself; he’s been held hostage by his need for escape, and he’s become something else. Possessed, if you will.

Izzy: “You and me did this to him, and we can’t let the crew suffer any more for our mistakes.” I’m not writing an essay on Izzy (yet), but this is a very interesting perspective that says a lot about Izzy. Stede and Izzy both owe apologies to Ed, but they are not responsible for his actions. I predict we’re going to see this theme explored in later episodes as a part of Ed’s healing process and recovery. And also hopefully in Izzy’s growth.

Frenchie’s line that “We’ve been living second-to-second for a while now” is a callback to the impossible bird idea. Which, again, is just Chandelier x Sia. “I’m holding on for dear life, won’t look down, won’t open my eyes, keep my glass full until morning light ‘cause I’m just holding on for tonight.”

So what’s next? For me, it was learning to sit alone in a quiet room with my thoughts. It was apologizing to the ones I hurt, because even if I didn’t mean to hurt them - even if I was suffering also and worse - they still got hurt, and in the end it didn’t matter why. It was developing the habit of liking myself, and acting on whatever self-love and affection I could conjure up. And yes… it was new seasons of Good Omens and Loki, my mom’s spaghetti, and hugs.

So I think Ed has a lot of accountability, reflection, and breaking of old habits in his future… but also warmth, good food, and orgasms. And good for him. That’s the beauty of recovery: we get to come back.