#i can prolly say one more but we arent close | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

spoopyyaoikingdom · 11 months ago

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Oo oo I wanna add onto this with my own more realistic headcanons. So im gonna use urs as a prompt. Uhhh just to initially say I dooo love ur ideas and tons of ur writing. So dont think this is me critisizing it. I just agree with some and disagree with others and wanna like yes and it a bit and wanna share my thoughts but its a lot for the comments section! Okay disclaimer out the way!

I read and watch LOTS of hero stuff. Superhero and others like rise of the guardians, dcu, mcu, tmnt and otherwise. Videos, fics, tumblr posts, art and so on. So ill go off of something like the realistic side of heroes Ive seen and read about. Cuz a lot of these are good points but for how I think heroes are its a lil on the darker side. And not as hopeful? I dont wanna say pessimistic as thats not a good word but its not a fairytale. Oh black and white would work well.

Its more black and white abt it and veey very one sided. Which makes sense at the start but not with their relationship prgressing. Which can still have fun but yea. So ill do dark like you but a bit more shades of grey and going with how actual maybe first responders or ptsd esque or superhero shoes show romance.

Also im imagining tmnt all media personalities but im using mainly bayverse for physical. And some 2k12 stuff as I know those 2 best. Sorry for grammar issues. Im bad at it, trying my best and on mobile. Okay okay enough explaining sorry.

- I agree that master splinter would probably not agree. Maybe like you and so on but not agree. I think though less for just thats not what he taught them and I feel doesnt agree with them dating period. Like overprotective dad energy and thinking even if a breakup is mutual. He wouldnt want his sons to have to deal with that when they already have to deal with a lot being giant turtles. Or ever worry about if is it cuz they cant do this or that or etc. Also that itd be hard to date again since their pool of ppl close to them is small.

- Totally agree with you cant parade him around and show him off for sure.

- Definitely cant tell anyone abt him at all. Prolly ever. If at least for their own safety or cuz their not comfortable with itm Maybe you and him could talk about it. I knw for a fact my friends and family is small. Like 3 or 4 ppl really. And theyd have no issue with a lsrge mutant and stay quiet. But id never wanna tell anyone if they arent comfy and the more people knw the more people can slip.

I do think though u can say your dating. Or wear a ring and say your married. You dont wanna deal with people trying to hit on you or ask you out. If they do. Also talk abt them a lil. Id talk to them abt it firat but make a pseudonym and use the barest most basic info just for when people ask. Like: oh no they have a medical condition and have to stay at home, they love (reading, action movie, tech hobby, art, cooking, calligraphy), theyre the kindest man ive ever met and Ilove how they look at me the same way. Etc. Basic bish info type thing snd if they press for more like: Oh no we dont rlly discuss our relationship outside. We arent the kiss and tell or pda type, we prefer our privacy. Etc and block them full boundary if they bug you. The ring could be a promise ring simce marriage is on records. Etc. So on and so forth. So you hopefully at least dont have to deal with dating or questions or etc.

You could even say they travel overseas or something or its long distance. Any idea tht means no you wont see them and no i dont care if u want to.

- understandable about date nights not being formal but (for me) i prefer being inside anyway. Id prolly order take out to a usual drop spot they use etc and get pizza for them to and we can cuddle on the couch with netflix.

As for the date nights few and far between from what i know of tmnt stuff they regularly go out or do things on their own seperately. Especially raphael has constantly gone out on his own. Maybe not all the time but enough. So there could def be date nights scheduled and even just be stuff a lil before or wake up early to be after patrol. Or they can come by and u leave a window open so they can wake u. Might scare the daylights outta ya the first few times but ud get used to it. All about compromise and effort.

- his duty as ninja and protector. I think this is unbalanced. I feel like at first it would definitely be that way. But usually not everyone can stay black and white abt it as they come to care for someone. Theyd want to spend time with them and hang out and enjoy company. Still watch the city but even people like batman makes time and would at least be torn abt picking between you and them.

(Now its a 2 way street of course, theres two sides as a good boy/girl/friend/ partner. Would make it easier and tell them its okay to raincheck and so on and so forth and give them space for the both of us to make a rhythm. Vigilantism does not help dating life whether ur a turtle or not. Especially dating a civilian. But it has and can be done if both parties work at it)

- his lovw for his brothers and dad before u is a no brainer. I feel like even with april and casey theyd be torn or go straight to their brother. And a good friend/partner would understand that. They lived and known each othwr their whole lives. <3 no matter how much raph grumbles he adores them (like at the end of the first bayverse movie when their falling). Plus evidence of even mikey losing heart at friends nd family dying. And people like danny phantom going evil cuz of it. The struggles Batman has for his robins/kids or the city etc etc. Even if its life or death.

So it should definitely be something thats talked about together at some point.

- the brothers not approving. Ahhhh from how we seen how the act in all media. Itd be partially that, maybe a lil jealous at whoever got a date first as well (they are teenage boys who dream of being "normal" sometimes) i think Raph would be a bit jealous but hide it as snarking and or leo would be a teensy jealous but act dissapointed cuz he knws they "shouldnt date" for their own safety and their partners. But every single last one of them has had crushes on people and probably talk to each other about it or something.

And all of them have gone on what ifs (definitely when younger) for how theyd be for dating someone. Or who theyd wanna date. Hell considering hie they sneak off sometimes they could even end up in a secret relationship or an online one etc. The more you integrate in and get close to them. The more i think unlike splinter, theyd see how happy their brother is and be happy for them to. Mikey qnd donnie i feel would be the least judgemental about it. Especially mikey.

- bumping into things is par for the course. Whatever version u think of, if its not the height and sheer muscles and size of them its their shells being in small spaces, or their tails etc. Or maybe trip ok somethjng if its smaller then them and they dont see it. And etc like a bull in a china shop. They can be delicate but still lol

- for the dump thing. Well plenty of humans are like that. Either smell or size wise. I had a gross ass dad (didnt deserve the title rlly) and at the least it stank to hell. Now Im not gokna say they can use a toilet but THEY can at least be the one to fix the issue if needed. Since they did it. (Or call donnie/ raph to come by who are mr fix its lol) and spray febreeze well actually. No their noses would be sensitive, open a window and maybe a timed spray option or beg donnie for a remote control lil spray. They can close the door after them and press the button and bam. Now not a 1000 chemicals shoved in their sensitive noseys or subjecting their partner to nose burns as well lol.

You will have to be the one that gets extra toilet paper though. Or I also have a method i just basicslly hand bidet and towel when necessary. (My grandma was from santo domingo and she showed me. Its basically judta cup of water or sopay water and u pour it and wipe yourself clean. Rinse. Towel. Bam, handmade bidet lmao)

Edit extra: also i bet theyd be so shy or nervous about saying they did. Id be a lil disgruntled but sigh and just get something else to go in while i wait. Like whenever my "dad" did stuff id go to mamas room and shed have a bucket. I realize its odd nowwww but shes from an island so i just learned after her. Its no big deal and then u just toss it in the toilet after its fixed and flush. Add some bleaxh and water to it to soak in the bathroom and all done. No different then a long road trip or going in the woods. Better then the woods really. Who wants to get the plants close to their tush? Not me =.= OR you could also just walk over to a neighbor (if ur friendly with one) qnd ask to go there or a shop nearby. (If anyones awake or open at night that is)

- buying him clothes in right size, damn near impossible. True. I dont think im a seamstress and not everyone would be but I have come up with a few ideas at least to get them cute shirts. Basically modifying them to tie behind the neck and under the shell (wherever the hell the pants go to) or a large elastic band at the bottom around their waist. Or the bottom can just loosely hang under the shell and keep going like a ling shirt.

Also if none of thats possible, accessories. Even if they dont wear them often im sure theyd love u buying them things just cuz. Cute bracelets, headbands, ankle stuff, body jewelry (if one can fit), cute knick knacks for their room, charms, posters or gifts for them etc etc etc. And mikey at least wears hoodies around his waist. Soo~ and cloaks could fit to. Maybe. Trial and error :D

Id personally lean into my crafting even more, art, paint, crochet, embroidery etc. Make them monogrammed towels or paint their shell and they can paint you back. Etc all kinds of bonding stuff u can do. Similar to buying clothes.

But finding right size off the rack? Yea no thats near impossible. Shoes to, tho again if u get crafty u can knit them socks.

Bonus: arts and crafts bonding eith raph (who knits in bayverse) and Mikey (whos usually shown to be artistic/creative in general).

Hell even donnie and leo, donnie with his tech maybe you can buy models to do together. And leo with cslligraphy, he could show you how to do it. Or they two of you can try to learn different font styles together. Or like tea ceremonies to get accessorized and dress up for.

I kinda turned this into bonding in general to but i hope u get the idea.

- the kiss: no notes, just facts. Lmao it will be weird. And depending on the version of the turtles they dont technically have lips sometimes. But possible. Tons of size difference people. But oof yea no its gonna be akward and shy and so on.

- s*x: no notes. Its true. Will be weird. Especially if they have turtle d!cks. Which i imagine they do cuz cme on now how could they not. Itd at MINIMUM be internal and shaped a teensy bit different if not very different from a human.

Me tho: this isnt an issue im john constantine levels of monsterf^cker extraordinaire. (Tho i prefer exoph!lia for sentient sapient beings like mutant turtles. Its not so. Rude sounding since its for any alien or non human entity rather then just callin them a monster. Their d!ck though? Naw that THATS a monster omg)

But whether you can physically take it or not theres a TON of other stuff you can do. Im not gonna get into it in this post. Maybe in the comments if anyone wants to knw but im not having my post deleted cuz of idiot tumblr. Sigh. But no theres definitely a bunch of stuff you can do together either way.

- size and strength adjustment in general (especially bayverse those giant adorable bara bastards): Facts. Total facts. They should have more practice thanks to knwing casey and april but thats different then cuddling. Trial and error. Be prepared to be accidentally squooshed sometimes on accident or to have the mosr geather light touch that it tickles and feels irritating (ooo feathery touch makes my skin jump in a not good way. Like stuff crawlin on u) like your glass. But be patient their learning. You to will figure a rhthym (superman did).

Also would in fact have fun holding they stuff they made for themselves (omg its so big) and or giving them "Normal sized things" to see how adorable and cute it is in their palms/hands lmao. I cannot get over donnie holding that tiny juice box in bayverse.

- you can not and will not go on patrol with him: ah. I dont disagree just on delivery. If you met him and your both fighters you could prolly go, if u get a mask for ur safety. If your a civilian well, april is a civilian and she somwtimes goes on patrol. Same wirh casey, he was literally dude/kid with a. Hockey stick.

At minimum theyd definitely make you do training and etc. But this also doesnt take in fact if you WANT to go on patrol with them. I personally wouldnt mainly cuz im a homebody. But i would wanna learn to defend myself if nescessary or to not be useless ina. Fight. Also would prolly buy a gun or tazer to use on people and so one. Plentt of people (in these universes) become vigilantes so on and so forth. Id also prolly ask for basic medical training. Nothing donnie level just enough to change a bandage or know how bad a bruise is etc (especially if anyone hides an injury, cough, looking at raph cough)

He cannot and will not give details about patrol: ahhh thats definitely an ehhh situation to me. I feel like (this is where ptsd and first responders comes in) maybe at first their wary, then eventually dont wanna worry you. And/or also, it went bad and they dont wanna talk about it. They would talk abt it otherwise or maybe just mention how good they did in general. But the closer you get the more they tell you or if they would like comfort or cry abt something. So on.

- master splinter limiting time in the lair in the beginning makes sense but i feel like thatd change over time. Especially if the other option is the boys (impulsive sweeties they are. Especially raph) sneaking out to your place and or staying the night/day cuz they wouldnt get back on time. (Rarely patroling in day time tho its happened. Like im bayverse)

Because again as the relationship progresses theyd wanna see you when they can. Cuz they are sweet in the inside. As well as maybe another place thwy can run to for alone time or time away from the brothers and gang. They love each other but ooowee a new place to hide and not be bothered and/or spend time with their new relationship? Fucking score.

- april and casey coming first makes sense. Especially in the beginning. Theyre their first outside friends. Thats a big ass bond. I feel at most tht evevntually youd be mor equal but its like if someone calls abt your best friend since childhood getting in a car accident. Tht comes before a date and a good partner would knw april and casey are at minimum basically family. (Especially in bayverse since she apparently bloody saved AND named them even if the boys didnt/dont remember)

- no store bought gifts: I feel like itd be rare. Clearly they get money somehow and buy pizza and so on. I feel like depending how much they get and the time period (in case things can be delivered to an address) is what determines this. Plus april and casey could totally be told/asked for help to buy things. Im sure they already do help.

- Secret relationship: depending how you met. Yea i can say for sure theyd do it secret from their families at first for reaskns i listed before. And also to just have some time themselves with you without their siblings butting into it.

I am aromantic and grey ace but im a homebody. I dont rlly go looking for people. If i met one of them, romantically or plantonically id at least not be doin other people along with them.

I also do sort of love t cest stuff and hinestly wouldnt mind being with any of them/ all of them truly. Tho i think id be most compatible with donnie and mikey. Mikey especially being my crush since i was a kid. Sweet lil adorable goof of a goober. I just wanna snuggle him in blankets and have snacks all the timeee....honestly for people like donnie and mikey even if its never romantic like that to me id stay with them forever.

Ronance to me is the exact same as a platonic relationship. Ive never gotten feelings or anything thats different but i love all my friends and tell them so. Dates is just hanging out and having fun and FWB is emphasis on friends. Id wanna help them and be close. Maybe it sounds odd. I am a romcom lover. But its just.

Being friends +. And again OMG mikey is such a cutey patootie ahhh. Relationship of any kind is compromise and learning about each other. And Id be fine with being Queer Platonic Soulmates with someone like mikey or donnie. Donnie also a cutie patootie. Those adorable glasses and tht cute lil snort laugh (i do the same thing) and our interests align as i live art and i love coding (baby at it and prefer front end design.)

We could have a ton and i mean a TON of fun the 3 of us. :D

(Also not the reason but i also love the b team trope tht came up in 2012 especially whwre donnie and mikey are very close actually and raph and leo are closest. Use to be more equal as kids but Donnie getting more into texh and Mikey into his art made them a lil.... hbnnm. Anyway im sure u knw the trope..

Id be with them regardless if they wanted to but yea.)

Wed get along like peas in a pod. :D

End notes: almost same as in comments:

I hope u like it. OP. and yea i read a lot of fanfics. Ive thought about it in various ways a ton before this. Including more onesided ones where its more them vs you then you and them together sutuations.

I just wanted to make one tht sounded realistic but less one sided. As a relationship is a 2 way street. And ur amazing post gave me so many ideas and thoughts i wanted to share! :D

I made the ideas a bit darker to as ive been reading a lot of dp x dc crossover stuff and some heart wrenchings posts for some and wholesome af for others. So i was like. Bet lets go.

Bayverse TMNT head cannons that no one asked for. 👹

Listen, and I myself have been guilty of it, we all have over romanticized the boys and we do it all to often because we come here for, what we each believe that is, a perfect world. But let’s just back up a moment and think about it logically… if logic applies when it comes to walking, talking turtles. How would it really be if you met and happen to fall in love with one of the turtles? In reality? Let’s dig into it.

Master splinter may show you kindness and may even favor you, but he will never agree with one of his sons having a relationship. It’s against everything he has taught them and that will never change. It also puts his entire family at risk whether you like it or not.

You will never be able to introduce him to your family or friends. Again they work in the shadows for a reason. You can not simply parade your boyfriend around nor show him off.

You can not tell a soul about him or that you’re even dating him. In fact you can’t tell anyone you’re dating at all unless you want to lie about it and compromise his position.

He can’t take you on dates. Well… not normal or formal ones. Although he can get creative in his own way. But date night is few and far between because he has the city to protect.

His duty as a ninja and a protector of the city will always come before you.

His love for his brothers and father also come before you.

His brothers, much like splinter, don’t approve of your relationship for the same reasons. It compromises their most powerful weapon… secrecy.

He’s a ninja. Sneaking into your home is a cake walk, but your ceiling better be tall. Be prepared for him to bump into things unintentionally of course.

Pray to god he never has to take a shit at your house. Be prepared to do some plunging.

Buying him clothes in the right size…. Forget about it.

Your first kiss is going to be awkward. One he’s never kissed before and two your mouths are quite the size difference. It’s going to take practice.

The first time you have sex is going to be just as awkward. He’s going to be worried about his performance but mostly his size. And he’d be right to worry. He’s twice the size of any porn star you’ve seen.

It’s going to take time to adjust to his size… not just his dick ya nasty! I mean his size in general. He’s much stronger than the human man and sometimes he doesn’t know his own strength.

You can not and will not go on patrol with him. He can not and will not give you details about those patrols either.

Master splinter will limit your time in the lair. Combine that with work during the day and him on patrol all night. You will rarely get to see him unless he breaks code.

April comes before you. Casey too. You’ll have to leave the jealousy at the door.

He can not give you store bought gifts. Everything he gifts you will be hand made.

He more than likely will keep you a secret from his family for quite some time… if or when you get caught that is.

Could you handle that type of relationship? Honestly I think I could be a good fuck buddy for Raph but Leo I’d catch feelings for and I just don’t know if I could do it. Let me know in the comments what your thoughts are. 😍

#tmnt #reader x tmnt #donnie x reader #raph x reader #mikey x reader #leo x reader #gender neutral!Reader #(reader is based a bit more towards me in some places)#(but tried to keep general reader-ness as well)#inspired by og post #love og post.#mikey and donnie are best boys #all of them are #mikey and donnie are my favorite though.#i feel like leo and raoh are also secret saps under their calm or grumpy personalities tho.#total teddy bears.#once your close enough

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perqabeth · 3 years ago

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first impression of your moots vs current ?

if i miss anyone watch me move to antartica, get plastic surgery and change my identtiy to gaston. including the ones im close close to😿

@shoyotime : you prolly alr know everythiung im gonna say bUTT ANYWAY,, we met on wattpad in the comments section lip bites and ngl i thougth u were like 18 or 20 then pls bc u sounded SO MATURE. and d9ont get mad at me but the first day (AS IN THE DAY WE FIRST MET YKYK NOT WHEN WE STARTED TALKINGON IG) when we gonna make gaso gang acc ykyk i thought you were kinda bossy goodbye i will leave now im so embrazzed I WAS STUOID AND ONLY 14 THEN OKAY hahahahhaa nervous sweats anyway BUT NOWWWWWWWWWWWW PHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW ur like on of my (even my only, maybe) closest friends or wtvr 😒😒😒😒and i l*ove and care abt you or wtvr 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 and you make me bvery very happie or wtvr 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 vvvv smort and sexc and HONEST!!!!!! person AND FUNNY ASF ty for existing smh and not dropping me and aleesha on the first day😟

@srkuv : thoughts r being thunk rn I DONT REMEMBER HOW WE MET HOLYYYYYYY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT i think it was on ig when u were added to gaso gang gc?? or was it on wp?????? I KNOWI MET YOU THRU INEZ????? first child: smal impression.... wAIT *FIRST IMPRESION: SMOL CHILD 🤡🤡🤡 must protecc vv sweet :( okay uwu,, it hasnt changed much 👍ur still my smol childn't but ur like mature for your age!!! and like sm0rt ngl, still muct proteque but you can fight anyone you want. you arent afraid to say what you want!! mwah mwah

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@elitparadox : omg ele loml hi you are so nice!!!!! and calm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and you seem liek the mom friend who always showers her chirren w love and grounds everyone yk??? BUT UR STILL SO SO FUN AN DYOU HAVE SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE I LITERALLY WANNA CRY :(((((( YOURE SO SO SO SWEET I CANNOT breaksdown i swear you make everyone feel loved :((((((((( I HOPE UR GETTING THE SAME IN RETURN BC U DESERVE THE SAME OKAYU ur so loving i cannaut stop sayng that <33333

@sakusaxwindex : girl youre literally m ycousin...... um annoying ass mf dont knwo who she is bullie <///3 but the only person i tr*st or wtvr 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 smh #vros💯✨ or wtvr 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 only cusin i genuinely l*ke and look forward to or wtrv 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒 smh r0t

#phew done #i love yall a lot or wtvr #so many typos im #im so sorry fr #so many repetitive words too cr1es #sobs #breakdown #ingliss is an illusion anyway

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2p-stuff-because-i-miss-them · 4 years ago

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Hiii im glad ur back!!❤️ may i request 2p face fam react to their s/o’s corgis? Like they r such sweet and gentle loafs but as soon as s/o leaves the room they arent anymore. ex: theyll sit together and stare at the 2ps with extreme dissapointment and disapproval, and make the atmosphere tense. When he walks into the room theyll briefly look at him and then move on as if they were talking crap about him before😂. (Bonus if they got along w him eventually but they still look displeased... sometimes..)

Ty Anon uwu

Hey guys I had to disappear again because all of my teachers decided that a new quarter meant 1238729343 assignments at once, we love to see it. Since its the weekend though I do not have to limit myself to one post I can make like 5 in a day so here we goes.

2p France: “yeah I have that effect on people”. Honestly animals usually really like Francois, so this is kind of new, but not surprising. The corgis will be staring at Francois and he’s like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. If the dogs keeps this behavior up Francois’ brain will just fade them out lmao. If the dogs are gonna ignore his existence or talk about him expecting a reaction of some sorts he’s just gonna be like “hmm? Oh! you two do exist my bad, are you hungry? hmm. That's unfortunate-” (he’ll feed the dogs I promise guys he’s just sassy). Because I like the idea of a tired Francois laying around with hyper corgi’s all day though I’m just going to say that they’ll get along and really close at some point. Francois would be working at his desk and the corgi’s know that s/o doesn’t like when Francois works himself to death when he’s sleepy so they’re all cuddly with him until he gives in and goes to bed. This happens a ton of times to the point where the puppies start caring a lot about Francois’ health and well being. And Francois accidentally gets attached so now they’re his b a b i e s.

2p America: His sadness is immeasurable. He’s actually so hurt right now and so dramatic about it. Dogs were supposed to be his thing, at least he thought so. And nOW THEY’RE GOSSIPING ABOUT HIM? OMFG HE’S ABOUT TO C R Y. He refuses to tell his s/o about this because ofc he wouldn’t. Instead he like tries to bribe them with extra treats or bacon or something. If that's not working he’s just gonna be really down for awhile. I feel like the dogs would notice this and feel kinda bad. Seeing a softer side of Al would make them sappy and one day if Allen was just sleeping over at his s/o’s house and the doggos were cuddling in his lap he’d just d i e. Catch them being hella cute spending the rest of the day with each other, rolling around inside and outside the house, his s/o is so confused at the change in energy. He’d nickname them nuggets even if that was longer than their og name-

2p Canada: This is fine. He’s high-key insecure about it but he’s gonna play it off like he’s perfectly fine with it and it doesn’t upset him. If he see’s the dogs talking shit he’ll be hella confrontational “You got somethin’ to say? no? thats what I was thinking”. I feel like Matt would befriend them really easily though because he probably fattens them up and buys them little toys and stuff. I can see Matt being really protective of them too cause they’re so smol and the corgi’s would prolly feel safe around him. Catch shirtless Matt and the corgis being hella cute in a flowery meadow.

2p England: *eyebrow arch* Oliver’s more of a cat person anyway so this doesn’t upset him that much. But on the other hand, sometime when his s/o is gone and he wants a cuddle buddy someone's gotta take the fall. I feel like the first parts of their bitterness would just the dogs scowling and being snarky but Olivers just unbothered and ignores it. Then after awhile Ollie is making them special treats or buying stuff to fatten them up and the the Corgi’s are c o n f l i c t e d. Oliver just coerces them into slowly loving him and ofc he loves them back. His s/o needs to be involved because honestly he will steal all their love and over feed them-. One day when s/o is not looking the corgi’s are lorge and all over Oliver. And Ollie’s just like “teehee yeah I’m just really good with animals ig”. Catch them being hella cute playing around in the kitchen while Ollie’s baking.

#2p hetalia #2p!hetalia #2P #2p!#2pface #2P france #2p america #2p canada #2p england #2p! france #2P!America #2p!Canada #2P!England

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you-are-worth-the-wait · 4 years ago

Text

you know that i think about you a lot and i know things are tough and complicated there. i am constantly trying to make sense of things there even though i know i don’t have the full picture. all i have to go off of is what i know as far as what i’ve learned about you, the bits and pieces you let me see every now and then, what you tell me from time to time, and trying my best to read you and possibly everything i can based on nonverbals. which a lot of the times may seem far off since my “nonverbals” come from words on a screen and the occasional convos i have with you over the phone. if i’m mistaken or way off base, i do apologize. like i said, i’m trying to make sense of things based off of those things. but this is kind of what i’ve seen/am seeing, up to now.

i think about the dynamic between you two, your dynamic for yourself, and the dynamic between us. Truth...I think the dynamic between the two of you is...and please don’t hate me if I am wrong and feel free to tell me off that I’m wrong because it really is difficult to get a feel for things when I prolly only know about 15% of everything that is going on. Or I could know 85%. I mean, I don’t know what you hold back. I just know what you tell me. But what I gather, the dynamic isn’t “genuine”. when it came to what is going on now, in the beginning, it was shyt amd understandable. He was hurt and angry and took it out on you. You felt guilty and felt you deserved everything that was given to you. You folks see-sawed back and forth from good and bad times but it was still really bad and the mental and emotional state you were in didn’t make things easier. Even though you were trying so hard to “make it up to him”, you were trying to do the things to try and “salvage” things yet, majority of the time it still came down to you and me talking. You were telling me the things you couldn’t tell him. Even though you were doing it for the “sanctity”, it was me that you felt you could open up to in order to keep things together. You confided and communicated with me about the lack of communication with him. Even though yes, you and he were physically there, I was the one who you came to to help keep you together and to keep going. I know you beat yourself up but I also know he had a role in that too in making you feel less than yourself and making you question yourself. I know he tore you down and he crossed so many lines in getting you to the lowest of your lows but I also know he did play a part in helping you up too. i know you had some “okay” moments and strides but I sometimes wonder who helped you out more, me or him?

Now I wonder about the state/dynamic you two are in now after all this time. I know it’s not bad but I also know it’s not good. my interpretation is that it is 40% bad, 50% neutral, and 10% good. i could be off on that. but i feel like you would gladly take and accept the neutral in order to keep the peace. but that’s not how a relationship should be. i know that’s not what you want. you try to explain and “give him allowances” for his approach to things and how you justify his words and actions you but you know i don’t agree with the explanation and rationale at times. i know that there is way more going on between you two and i get guess my way around it with so many angles but it’s not fair to you and him to speak on something that i may know nothing or have no clue as to what i am talking about. for that reason, i try not to be as harsh and rash as i know i can be. when it comes to you, you know i’m going to fight and support you to lengths and at the costs of others. i.e. that one coworker at the jail that made you uncomfortable. i may seem “harmless” as that guy with lisp said that he wasn’t worried about me but trust me, if/when it comes to protecting you and making sure you are safe, i know the lengths i’m willing to go to make sure you are safe. i did check in on him once and awhile too to make sure that he remembered what i said. i guess it did kinda work against you/us when he didn’t necessarily want to take the chance of working with you or covering for you since he prolly wanted to make sure to keep his distance...*shrug* *ws*

As for you, I think you are “a lot” better than before. I can’t really say that the exact word is “good” but I know it’s a lot better from your lowest lows. I told you that I even felt some semblance of “your self” here and there but I can still tell things are “not good”. Here’s the thing. I’m happy and proud to see the strides you’ve made for yourself and I can tell you are trying to do the same for the relationship but I feel like it’s almost gotten to the same dynamic you had before but in a trickier and way worse situation. It almost feels like you two are exactly where you started again before i came into the picture. you already had a bad dynamic between you two to where you both were moving at your own paces, possibly in different directions, and just completely not on the same wavelength. i would venture to guess that you were ready and wanted to move forward but you either couldn’t or didn’t know how. fast forward past that phase, where i come into the picture, you and me happening, the ultimatum, you being at your lowest lows, you still reaching out and confiding in me even though you are not supposed to, going through therapy, to right now. you have come a long way and i feel that there are days where you are possibly “okay” and ready to move forward again but he’s “holding you back”, again, and it’s in worse situation. It’s like your “life together, the house, the misstep with the car purchase, his judgment, his priorities” that had you just being complacent with where you were back then, I feel you kind of are at the impasse again. I know you are not “all good” but there’s a part of me that feels like you are seeing things a little clearer now but he’s not on the same page again and you are back to that situation where you want to move forward but you can’t because of him, and I’m wondering if your lack of motivation or conviction to move forward is again tied to “waiting for him” again. I feel like you are ready to try to take those next couple steps for yourself and you are trying to do it together but since you aren’t on the same page again, you may be holding yourself back and I’m wondering if that may be preventing you from trying to move forward to be yourself again. Like, I know you weren’t happy back then and I know you aren’t happy now. I know you wanted to move forward back then too but you couldn’t so you kinda “settled”. Now, coming back from your lows when you felt like you were reduced to a hollow shell of a person and of your true self, I feel that even you know you’ve made a lot of big steps to even get to where you are now. It’s not exactly how I thought it would happen but I do like the fact that you have regained your sense of individuality and have been truthful to yourself in knowing that you do want more for yourself. I thought if we both continued on the path we had together, you would have realized it too on your own. time didn’t give you that chance. It sucks that you had to get beaten down the way you did and had to go through all the “bad” and therapy in order to find a “safe place” to where you could find a way for your own voice, mind, and heart to be heard. But it’s like you are finally allowing yourself to see a future, options, and opportunities that I always saw was there for you. I saw that when we first started getting to know each other and I meant it when I first said you could do so much. You were either too timid, scared, or humble to allow yourself to see it. I think it’s possible that all the rejections when you first were trying to get a job as a nurse possibly messed with your psyche a bit. Totally understandable. you are an amazing nurse and a valuable asset that any company, facility, or team would be lucky to have. but more so, you are an amazing person and as harsh as this may sound, without him, i feel you could be in an “okay” place in your life considering how he tore you down and continues to do so yet you are able to find your own voice and mind a little at a time.

Considering all that though, I think you are overcompensating again and it’s possible that your readiness to move forward and his unwillingness or inability to do so has you in that state where you want to be happy but the situation you are in isn’t allowing that, so you are kinda left in a state of “should I move forward? I want to...but I can’t. Should I feel bad that I am ready to move forward again but I can’t? I know I want more but will I get that here? I also know that what I want, I may/will not find it here. I’ve seen what’s out there and I want that. The question is, how do I move forward when I feel like I can’t?” I think that’s where you are at now. It’s a different mind set from before. I think before you wanted to move forward “together” but he prevented that in some way in where you two were just not even close to being on the same wavelength. so since you couldn’t move forward “together”, you accepted it, and made do the best way you could because you still wanted to be “together” somehow. Now, it’s the same thing but in a way worse dynamic and i don’t even know if you are on the same plane to say you arent on the same wavelength. it’s gotten to the point where you two aren’t even on the same axis/plane anymore. you still want to move forward “together” but your/the individual resolve of the drive is strong/stronger than before. You still have the same drive/desire, I believe in wanting to move forward “together” but now that you realize you aren’t moving forward, your individual self doesn’t want to accept that this time around. the resolve of the “singular/individual (you)” drive is moving forward and trying to figure out how to get what it wants and is almost as if it’s trying to drag/urge forward the “together (you and him)” drive but it’s just so toxic and discombobulated. Before I think you knew what was out there but because you were limited due to “not moving forward”, you may have taken the attitude of “it will happen when it happens”. As opposed to now, you still have the same drive, you still know what’s out there, but now you want to move forward and are realizing that you actually have the ability to do so. you bought a house on your own. you realize that you do have dreams, wants, a drive, and aspirations of more. so now you have a different attitude, despite the fact that he is still holding you back and even bringing you down, your attitude is now “I want to make it happen...how do I make it happen?” And that’s where your heart, mind, and decisions are at and are torn. You now have a better understanding of what’s out there and a better/clearer idea of what you want and don’t want for yourself as a whole, individually and with someone, that’s the given. That’s where I see you growing into now. I think the “where/how do you get it” is the unspoken thing that you need to maybe figure out. but the bigger question is “who do i want to get it with” is what you have to figure out and learning how to accept it for him, for others, but mainly for yourself. i think those are the biggest challenges/obstacles/questions you are dealing with and will need to confront and that is what is causing you the majority of the hardships that you are going through.

Or I could be completely wrong...*sigh* I mean, this is what I am coming up with based on words on a screen. Maybe I’m reading everything completely wrong. Maybe my “hopefulness” is clouding my judgment and the reality of things? That’s why I do wish we could just talk the way we used to. These one-way convos and convos in my head that I have with you doesnt even come close to speaking with you which makes knowing what you are really thinking/feeling difficult. Trust me Love, when I saw I want to know what’s going on or what’s on your mind, I am sincere in every way possible. And even if you told me, “I don’t know”, if that’s where you truly are at or all you are willing to share with me, that’s fine too.

tangent and side note...they took my LPN from my team to help out at the main hospital. so basically, now i’m functioning as the LPN and RN of the team. i just saw a glimpse of my workload for the rest of this year and it is not looking promising. it’s weird because i would have thought they would have had one of the veteran people take on this responsibility because now i’m having all the other RNs teaching me the LPN duties and i’m taking that RN away from what they are doing. i’m scared that if i keep asking and pulling them away from what they are doing they may be less inclined to help me down the line. it sucks because, yes, i prolly should know some of these things by now but i don’t learn or know what needs to be done until the situation arises. so yeah, it’s been humbling, difficult, and trying, and my LPN is detailed for another month. it feels great that i feel like i’m learning new things and figuring out how things need to be done. i just don’t like the initial feeling of where they say, “you don’t know how to do this?”, and then feel like a charity case when they show me what to do. there are so many RNs with so many perceptions, so many approaches, different teaching styles, and attitudes. you’d think i’d stick to someone for consistency but again, it’s who i can get out of necessity because i need to get it done and the “regular” people i’d ask are busy because i’m not pulling them away from their own things that take priority over mine. this whole COVID thing and outsourcing of resources couldnt have come at a worse time for me.

lighter side...i have a decent sense of character? sounds like a good thing so i’ll take it :P

curious...that post about “talk stuff out...seeing things from their perspective”. is that something you are getting from him? wanting from him? because i feel that that post kind of sums up how most of our “arguments/misunderstandings” work out. during serious and light hearted times. like when we’ve had our major arguments/misunderstandings and when one of us “leaves” hurt, invalidated, misunderstood, or burdensome to the other based on broken convos through here and real time. all it really took was a moment to take a step back, allow the other person to explain themselves or figure out together where the misunderstanding may have occurred, and to realize that we are better off figuring and resolving it together instead of dismissing it. what i do like about how we go about things though is that neither one of us “too proud” to not say “sorry” if one of us may be in the wrong. i don’t like when arguments escalate and never end because someone isn’t willing to admit they were in the wrong when they were clearly in the wrong. pride prevents them from doing so and it just makes things worse. but i do like how we are able to resolve our tough times, and we’ve had some of them. i am grateful that they haven’t been anything that we couldn’t handle and it’s what makes me confident in future conflicts. like i said, i am curious as to how a major one would play out but i’m not purposely going to make it happen just to satisfy that curiosity. it even happens with our funny/fun arguments like with the apple or the pear. it’s a joking thing but we still find a way to figure it out. i like how you and i just...work.

we making that cookie? :P

and yes...goofiness in all shapes and forms at any moment does make any moment that much better. especially during intimate moments where we are able to go from 60 to 0 because of some ridiculousness that ends up making both of us laugh and then going straight to 100 without skipping a beat because the random silliness is just so refreshing and makes me realize why i love you and it just spills into the physical aspect. your smile and laughter is as beautiful as it is sexy :)

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evolsinner · 4 years ago

Text

⊱┊24

days go by, another one comes across. however, today is that day, and by ‘that day’ i mean, can we all please have a drumroll, it’s fucking parent~teacher interviews! aka an interrogation under the guise of pleasantries. i thought if i didn’t think about it, it’d just fucking disappear, but hey no, it’s still here.

but that’s okay, you see my parents don’t know a thing about it. i shredded all the notices they’ve sent us and made sure to cut the line every time my sneaky ass school called home. so when it came to my last class for the day, which is english lit obviously, i was quite happy that i didn’t have to stay behind like some students.

the class is empty, it’s almost 4 sharp.

“it’s only interviews,” i try to ease mr killian’s nerves. “just tell them what they wanna hear ~ easy peasy.”

“i wish, but it doesn’t work like that, luv. you know,” he looks up from his paper and removes his reading glasses to rub his weary eyes, “believe it or not, but we hate this day just as much as you kids do.”

“really?” i’m shooked. “thought you teachers just loved taking your sweet as revenge on students on this devilish day. it’s practically reverse halloween where the educators aren’t in costume for the first time, huh.”

mr killian places his pen behind his ear, entertained. “‘reverse halloween’, aye?” he leans back on his chair, arms folded and an ankle~on~knee. “you’re too funny.”

“‘funny’?” i walk over to him, admiring the tantalising dark circles underneath his scintillating eyes. “yeah? and what else?”

he possessively pulls me in between his legs, squeezing my booty in fistfuls. “and sexy and fierce and delicious.”

“do you want a bj?”

“oh, and very fucking naughty too!”

“what you gonna do about it?”

“gee, you’re tempting me.”

“mhm,” i bite my lip.

“you are in serious need of punishment, little girl,” he flicks an eyebrow up. “slide down your panties and lean over my desk.”

my eyes open wide, “no.”

“pardon?”

“i mean, there’s no space on y~y~your desk,” i glance at it. “there’s those booklets, essays, midterms, finals, your laptop...”

“i’ll make space.”

“uh, umm,” i step back.

“nuh~uh,” he pulls me in again so that i’m standing with my thighs directly opposite his thingy. “slide ‘em down right in front of me.”

“that’s too close,” i squeak, going red.

“what difference does it make? you a step back or not, i’ll still see it. c’mon,” he feathers a finger down my bare thigh, “you can’t still be shy? i’ve seen every part of you, every inch of you. the hills, the slopes, the blemishes... want me to go on?”

ok, imma prove him wrong. i undo the button and zipper on my shorts, exposing the bright red lacy panties i got just for him.

“you were hiding those from me?” he points to them, sounding offended.

slowly, i rub my hand over the skimpy fabric, sticking a finger behind the elastic.

“such a tease,” sir leans back. “congratulations, darling, you’ve earned yourself 5 more spanks.”

the thought of him spanking me…

“want me to go easy on you?” he asks, and i see rare mercy dancing around in his eyes.

i nod, prolly a goner if i were dumb enough to take my chances with this guy.

“then touch yourself, sweetheart,” the mercy evaporates from his eyes completely. he just went from a saint to a sinner in a millisecond. “mhm,” he nods to my hesitant expression, “slide your hand through your panties and touch yourself for me. if you don’t moan my name whilst finger~fucking your cunt, i’ll give you the belt.”

heck no, i don’t want to get spanked with a belt! that’ll hurt so much more!! i’ve seen it on 50sog!

“y~you w~want me to m~masturbate for you?”

“did i stutter?”

no, but i did.

shocked at how strangely turned on i’m feeling, i slide my fingertips under the double thin lines of the red covered elastic bands. tell me, why did i wear this again? i inch my fingers down further, my breath hitching up and pelvic muscles contracting.

sir slides his hand into his pants and gently strokes his cock, scarring me with imaginary ciggy burns from the way he’s staring at me doing me. “hurry it up, little one, time is of the essence.”

3 knocks on the door and it swings open with a, “hello?”

mr killian speedily sits up.

and i step back right away, pulling my hand out and tugging my shirt over the open zipper. “mum?”

“roséah,” she squints, “what on earth... dear lord, you have a lot of explaining to do!”

i refuse to blink. i think i’m having something like a heart attack. “w~what do you mean?”

“well, for starters,” she struts up to me, “you didn’t tell me that today was parent~teacher interview night.”

i exhale deeply, relief has never felt this good.

“mr killian, i presume?” mum says, holding her hand out.

i quickly fix myself up behind her.

“please,” he smiles, shaking her hand, “call me isaac.”

why the fuck would mum come here without informing me about it?!?

“apologies for not booking in a time slot and barging in like this. had i known,” mum gives me an irritated look, “i would have been more prepared.”

“it’s no worries, mrs blackburn,” sir tries to downplay it. “i reckon i can squeeze you in before my first interview. so please,” he motions to the two seats preplaced in front of the desk, “have a seat.”

“christella will do just fine,” and she takes no time in making herself comfortable.

i roll my eyes, so fucking annoyed and anxious at the same time.

“if you don’t mind my saying so,” sir gracefully says, “but now i know where your beautiful daughter gets her beautiful looks from.”

mum titters, tucking invisible strands of hair behind her ear and straightening out her pencil skirt.

tf.

sir glances at me and it’s so provocative in nature that i can’t look away, hence he does it for me. “do we have a common friend that can get both of us acquainted with one another?” he causally asks my mother with a chuckle.

aren’t they supposed to be talking about me?

“i don’t suppose so, isn’t that a shame?” mum smiles.

“‘shame’ would be an understatement, stella…can i call you stella?”

“you can call me whatever you want, isaac.”

“ahem!!” eww. ew. “mum,” i shake my head at her like ‘did you forget you have a husband?’, “you might wanna..”

“oh, yes, of course! silly me. so do tell, isaac? how has my daughter been doing?”

“well, to be candour, i’m rather impressed at how dedicated rosé is on learning.”

“hm, is that so?” she gives me a suspicious glance.

“indeed,” mr killian sends me a secret wink.

“does she slack off? because you’d tell me if she did, right?” mum asks.

“mum,” i grumble, she’s so embarrassing sometimes.

mr killian chuckles, “you’d be the first to know, stella. fortunately, that isn’t the case. rosé has quite the eye for accomplishing her goals.”

i’m getting lost in him again...

“gets all her work done on time, doesn’t send inappropriate text messages in class,” he proceeds professionally, kinda cocky, “nor does she ever has to stay back late.”

all of which i do the opposite of, i give him a guilty grin.

mum looks rather very taken aback, considering how i am at home. “seems like she’s quite the student?”

“you’d be surprised by what goes on in these walls.”

that not so hidden half~smile sir gives me pauses my mum in her tracks with her next question. i look at her sudden stiffness and notice how she’s surveying mr killian intently, her eyes narrowed into slits. oh crap.

“ahem!” i shift in my seat quickly.

sir coughs and swiftly brings in another topic.

mum gradually returns to her usual manner.

that was close.

when they finally say their farewells, i feel relieved as a fucking kite flying high up in a blue cloudless sky. mum did a few more interviews before she finally decided to go home. mr killian had given her false hope and high expectations, so it was funny when my other teachers informed her that my grades were declining from b’s and c’s to d’s and e’s.

oops, my bad.

-ˋˏ ༻🍷༺ ˎˊ-

it’s late, a major thunderstorm has hit and maxi being the scaredy~cat he is has crept into my room for the night. incoming call from isaac. i decline it. so he calls me again. and i decline it again. busy tryna shoot him a text which he keeps interrupting with phone calls.

daddy🔐 is my furry baby avoiding my calls?

tf he just called me??????

me im not avoiding ur calls jus ctrn cuz baby bro is sleeping in my bed thunder isnt his strong suit :/

daddy🔐 why am i jealous?

lol, seriously? i smile, rolling over to the edge of my bed.

daddy🔐 can’t stop thinking about you...

me jus stop its not dat hard

god, i suck at this.

daddy🔐 i really need to be fucking inside you right now!

uh, what the fuck do i text back?!

daddy🔐 would it be inappropriate of me to ask you what you are wearing since you’re with your kid brother?

haha.

me wow, ur quite the gentleman, arent ya ?

daddy🔐 i try my best.

feeling kinky, i silently remove my oversized graphic tee and take two pictures of myself. then i quickly pop my tee back on before curling up on the bed and hitting ‘send’.

daddy🔐 mmmm leopard panties and no bra, sexy. though i do wish you could move your arm out of the way so i could see my two girls?

no, my boobies are too small and i’m shy!

daddy🔐 such unspeakable things i could to your body right about now. would you like to know, baby?

i’m so tempted to text back ‘yes’, but that’d just get me too hot and bothered which is not a good idea when your lil brother is lying right next to you.

me behave (;

daddy🔐 how about we finish off what we started back in the classroom?

me we hv company rmbr ?

daddy🔐 right.

there’s a while with those 3 flashing dots before he texts back.

daddy🔐 considering we have an audience tonight, i’m willing to keep it pg. on the contrary, was nice talking to your mother today.

me were u flirting w her ?

daddy🔐 i don’t know. was i?

me u so were ! nd evry subtextual sentence u uttered !! she cud hv caught on yanno ?!

daddy🔐 that, i couldn’t help. the look on your face was hilarious. hers too.

i almost lol by just picturing my mum’s face, but i suppress it.

me jus bc u made me laugh dnt mean im not still mad !

daddy🔐 allow me to make it up to you?

me go on...

daddy🔐 there’s this soirée i’m holding with my crew for the long weekend. lakehouse, few beers, great view - thank kinda thing. i want you there.

me y do u want me der ? (;

daddy🔐 ‘cause i wanna fuck you hard on my mate’s couch whilst everyone else is out by the lake.

oh?

daddy🔐 and also because i want you to get to know my people more. (:

he used a smiley face! he never uses smiley faces!

me hmm, guess ill hv 2 think bout it

because i have to ask my mum first!!

daddy🔐 hope this helps?

he sends me a photo or two back, like it was a trade or something. but jesus christ, isaac killian! he was definitely not kidding about having me on his mind!

daddy🔐 don’t ponder too much. goodnight, love.

“rosé..?” maxi murmurs behind me, rolling around.

shit. i drop my phone in an instant and cringe for my luck. “yeah?”

“you’re taking all the blanket and i’m cold..”

“oh, right...” i exhale with relief, placing my phone on the bedside table. i turn around, shifting the blanket over him and putting my arms around him. phew.

i rest my eyes for a second when maxi is like, “what was that?”

“hm?” i smile as he snuggles between my arms.

“that big cucumber looking thing on your phone.”

i almost choke on my saliva. “t~t~that was...you’re dreaming, maxi. this is all nothing but a dream...” i add some whooo noise effect to make it more believable.

“no i am not!” he asserts.

“yes you are! now shut up or go back to your own room.”

thunder cracks intensely and he doesn’t say anything further. thank you, sweet jesus.

#daddy #story #teacher #student #teacher x student #words #quotes #thoughts #poetry #poems #love #relationship

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favvnsongs · 5 years ago

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ok i'm interested on Aden and Clarke's relationship in faithverse. how does it change? is there any relationship to start with?

lmaoo I Love the dynamic that Clarke and Aden have in faithverse. bc holy shit they are not fans of one another lmaooo.

like I think that of course Clarke had heard of Aden while she was with lexa and co. traipsing across the country?? but it was in a vague sort of way? she just kinda got this image of him in her head of a slightly younger lexa who was still sort of... green? less intense than lexa maybe? not burdened down and stressed out and haunted by loss and all the things she's had to do since she became heda? not that he was Eventirely idealistic and foolishly optimistic when compared to lexa, but that he was that way at least a little bit??

and like... she doesnt meet him at all until like twoish months after the end of Pt. 1 of faith verse? a delegation from arkadia in the Capitol to hold talks with the new commander? and you know that Clarke had prolly been under the initial impression that she could just, ask lexa for favors and have her sorta like, influence aden into fulfilling them?

and then when Clarke actually meets him in her head she's just like "wtf this is a child -"

but when lexa is like "lmao no, you gotta ask him yourself" because that's how things work?? I just imagine the general political world of faithverse (at least where trikru is concerned) is rather bureaucratic?? just like, I at least mean semi-bureaucratic.

(I think of clarkes habit of barging into rooms and shit like she owns the place and demanding a favor or policy change and expecting full well for lexa to grant it?)

and aden is like "lmao no. take a number and wait in line, and then you can make your request and it has to be valid enough for me to send it down to the appropriate committees who will then decide whether or not it would be in our best interests to grant it, and to what extent and with what limitations and what we want in return. you can expect an answer within one to two weeks"

and clarke and co are just kinda "wut" bc clarke was used to the "lemme talk to lexa" route when it came to getting shit done and stuff. and while lexa eventually replaces Titus as flamekeeper, she absolutely refuses to put her finger on the scales? she'll advise aden when it comes to things, obviously, since she has more personal experience governing? but she wont say outright "do/dont do this or that" bc she wants him to like, be able to make his own choices? and have his own like, voice and shit?

and Clarke does NOT like him, because he seems to take such petty enjoyment in making her and the rest of the council in arkadia jump through hoops and deal with red tape in order to get anything done?

aden just constantly >:3 about shit? bc he doesnt like clarke (and tbh the sky people in general) at aaaaaall. but he especially doesnt like clarke. and that's for a whole ass list of reasons tbh. like for one he doesnt like that clarke thinks she has any right in trying to influence lexa into getting him to do things? he doesnt like that clarke used lexa's fondness and attraction to her to her political advantage? he reaaaally doesnt like her "you owe me for mount weather" bullshit.

but also hes just sorta >:T over like. clarke constantly trying to hog lexa to herself? aden such a jelly resentful disdainful little bby? that's his lexa, thank you very much. and his dislike of the sky people in general def feeds his dislike of clarke specifically. bc how d a r e.

and clarke, beyond her bewilderment that aden is v much a CHILD, doesnt appreciate his constant 🙃🗡🗡 attitude towards her? how he seems determined to give her a headache from pure frustration? but also clarke jealous in her own right?? bc of how close lexa and aden are? their shared history? how things between them arent tainted by the blood in the water like they are with lexa and herself? how they seem to almost always be on the same page??? how she never really gets lexa to herself anymore?? bc mentoring and comforting aden through his whole "I feel unworthy and invalid in my position as heda and because of that the Spirit and I are incompatible and it's slowly killing me" drama is massively limiting the amount of time or private moments that she gets to spend with lexa? she's resentful that aden takes priority???

and like, while eventually they learn to be civil towards each other and come to a begrudging acceptance - they're never really like. friends.

#hear the words and have faith

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just-some-random-blogger · 5 years ago

Text

December Dates

Seventeen Summary: In the spirit of Christmas, boyfriend!svt is here to take you on a date. Word Count: 3k+ Warnings: Fluff, crackkkkkk, v many typos,etc.

R E Q U E S T

my friend: seventeen + cute

A/N: HO HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU HOS (jk) HAHAHAHAHAHHA. Also ashdiepl because im writing on a tab, i couldnt add any gifs so aksjemksksmsksksmskskdk alsO im so sorry i dont remember if the request is platonic or nah but kaksksksk this is what u get soz

-----

Alright

So no gifs

Imma just do a header real quick so u know wassap

S. Coups

Das better

hi header

I might delete u later if i get on a pc

But firsT seuNgcheEolL

*deep breath*

Ho u lucky enough to breath the same air he does

N now u are on aa date with him

WoWw

So bf!seungcheol is a cute lil snowflake

Which means he'll buy u an ugly ass Christmas sweater and matching gloves

THAT MATCHES THE ONES HE BOUGHT FOR HIMSELF OFC

then yall go out and play in the powdery snow outside

ImGine seungcheol grabbing yOuR hand

cebAuse u a dumb loser that slips on nothing

Also warmth

pulling your scarf up a bit because he can tell you're getting cold

Then like a gentleman

will pUSH U INTO THE SNOW

AND START A FRICKIN SNOW WAR

HE'll hit ur dumb face he dont care

He'll maKe u wish u Stayed damn home

Rapid fire frikin snow granades man

Course iz all a bita fun

Then he'll let u win

Cause he does care Bout ur dumb Fce

Also he soft for u gross

Then once that's done he'll start laughing

Not because of post-snow ball fight adrenaline

But because he thinks himself so funny

When he busts a lung screaming "dO Ya wana biLd aSNOEMAN!!!!!"

AND THEN U decline and leave him in the snow

"YAAAAA WE HAVE TO BUILD A SNOWMAN THOUGH!" he'll laugh

U literally wana leave him and his annoying ass

U stomp away

He laughs and goes after u

His hot breath is visible

and hits your ear when he comes up and wraps his arms around you from behind

U be like, "listen stupid, u corny af, lets break up"

Seungcheol would pout and kiss ur cheek, "nah, u still owe me hot choco. Break up with me after paying me back."

"Ew, why would i pay u back tho"

"Uh cause if you don't imma do thisss," then he proceeds to shove u into the snow again

"CHOI. SEUNG. CHEEOOOLLLLLLLLLLALAKAKAOKS!"

Ok well i have to cut this here first cos there are 12 boys left

Oh Hi hello u here back to ur regular programme

Jeonghan

Yiz

Unlike cheol

Dis ho not about to get cold 4 u uhm

Leave the cold for someone else

But get warm together

I mean

Wink wINKkkkk

Jk gtfo

This is a wholesome headcanon

Git warm he would gladly

So u know what dat means

CUddlEs

Imagine cuddling jeonghan

BoIii

It's da holidays

Which mean he bout to get dat $$$leep

Of course u dont mind that ur just sleeping in

Gurl if ya do

Let me stress out

If you mind sleeping in and cuddling with yoon jeong han

GUrL

Wathu doin????

AnYWAY

ITz u and him right

Ur in bed reading the novel he got u beforehand right

Look at u looking cute in knit sweater and glasses

EVEN IF U DONT NEED THEM THERE ARE GLZSSES

IM TRYING TO MAKE A SCENE HERE WORK WITH ME

it could be jeonghan's ur using it as a headband shhhh

So like ur sitting down

N beside u its jeonhan v slightly snoring

Right right right

Then ur like "man i want something to eat cause i've been sitting here reading all day"

But also ur always hungry

Cause who isnt tho lol

ANYWAY UR ABOUT TO STZND UP

but jeonghan like a needy ho is like noooooooooooodontgo

N ur like

aww wat a needy ho

"Jeonghan im just gonna get something to eat"

"Eat laterrr, i need u now"

He'll keep his eyes shut and shimmy over

Securing an arm on your hip so u wont go

U roll ur eyes and put your book away on the cabinet next u

"Jeonghan ive literally been next to u since last night. I'm just gonna get something to eat, and 4 u 2!"

He'll flutter his eyes open only to close them and move even closer to place his head on ur lap

"I dont want toooooo"

U roll ur eyes again and shimmy out of his grip

But only to get into his arms and hide your face in his chest

"You're so needy," u note

"Says you who's tangling themselves on me"

"Touché"

Joshua

Okay

Get this

Joshua and gingerbread houses

He probably used to build one growing up

And he has just the person in mind he wants to rekindle the tradition with

Congrats u filthy animal

So he took the liberty of getting allll u and he would need

And so much more

Im talking chocolate bars

Shipped cream

Candy canes

Busicuits

Edible glitter

Gum drops

Shrek 1 2 3 4

Is there a four

Im too lazy to google it

And omg u so special to him he loves u so much

Screw u

He wants to share the love with the carats

So he vlives it all

And at first ur shy

Like what if the joshua stans come 4 u

Ok but in this story yall had already annouce ur relationship

AND EVERYONE HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO BE COOL WITH IT FFS LET UR FAVES DATE WHOEVER THEY WANT ISTG

Joshua is like "noo don be shy they'll all love u"

(':

N ur like ok cos i love u sm

But not like the company sm tho *barfing noises*

So yall build a gingerbread house and do a whole ass tutorial about it

Except u dont

Cause yal are morons and could stop messing up or earing the ingredients along the way

Sorry honey ur morons i dont make the rules

"Stop eating the marshmallows!"

"U literally finished the bowl of mnms tho Joshua!"

"Uh no that was the gingerbread man,"

ANd then u all bicker like children because u are omfl

And it excalates

fooD FIGHT

U smear cream on joshuas face

He sprinkles sprinkles on ur head

U press graham crackers against either of his cheeks and ask him what he is

"A sexy graham sandwich"

"Ew no wrong answer," u reply

Can i just point out that that chocolate syrup stain is never coming off

*cough cough cough moron cough cough*

Jun

Imma bout to yeet

Junhui is also feeling nostalic

super soft super baby

And since he's probably feeling bit homesick somewhere in there

he thinks he can remedy it with a bit of chinese home cooking!!!

And whiney needy cuddles also yay

Moving on so

Will it be good?

Damn straight

itll be fikin delish

Will you try to to help him

Of course u gotta help ur man

But like duh

u have eyes

And seeing him all focus and busy and hot

Is really distracting

So like ur as useful as a broken button to him

He doesnt mind tho

He thinks ur cute

Also lovng the attnstion

But the thing about not helping

Not really

And being distracted by a cutie pie

Is that it's basicaly a disaster ending to happen so like

he's efficiently stirring up so hot stuff right

And ur like "man jun's some hot stuff"

And then BaaaaM

U knock over the damn chopping board with the knife and everything on it

Thank goodness the thing didn't chop through your foot of anything

And jun is like "oHMYGOSH DA HELL R U OK"

"... i- im sorry i knocked over ur potatoes"

"My poTaToeS! Listen rn im glad u didnt chop ur foot off"

Jun sighs and looks at the cubes of taters scattered on the floor

You frown, feeling useless

Both of u pick up ur mess

Jun puts down the kitchen utensils in hand

u picked up the last of the potatoes

"Hey we could always wash those, it's not like the floor is mud or anything, even then , potates came from mud"

"Yeah but im sorry, i wanst really helping in the first place"

Jun smirks, "nonsense! U were feeding my ego! That's enough for me!"

You snort and jun comforts u with a tight embrace

Hoshi

AlrighT fam

I thought of something pretty cute but pretty dumb for hoshi

He's like "imma do something super romantic for Christmas"

So he's like "wear something cute we gon do smth fun" @ u

So u do

U get a cute little red dress just for the occasion

And soonyoung his like "BRO MY GIRL SO SUPER CUTE"

And ur like a blushing mess cause he looks super excited with his big smile and cresent eyss

ahhh Hhh myHOSishiii fealzssmsmmsms

Anyway u think ur gonna go to some cute restaurant right

But hoshi brings u to the mall

To instead join the couples dancing contest

Soonyoung gets super nervouse at ur surprised reaction

He's like, "omg is this a super bad idea i thought it would be cute but like i guess not we dont have to go we could always just drop out"

You laugh and shake ur head, "no it's all good, but i mean like, we don't have a choregraphy, and im not like you who can just break it down."

Soonyoung lets out a breath and chuckles, "nah don't worry. It's not really a compation-competion, and regardless, they're going to show ius a choreo and the couple that best interprets wins a a romantic date for two, fit for a dancing king and queen"

And then u break into a big uwu

"Omg u are super romantic soonyoung"

He struts a pose and chuckles, "i mean, i try"

So you both participate in the contenst

Kinda zumba it out by folling the instructors

Soonyoung is helping you out with your form and explaining to you the steps

He gets a little competative so he doesn't really want to mess us

Up hearing you giggle when you do a s pin breaks his competative spirit

And all he really cares about is having a good time with you

Aleight

But admitedly

He was pretty annoyed when they annouced the winner

Were not the two off you

i mean you lot were the cutest it can gt

Who else could trump that

But then you both saw that the winners were 80 something yesr olds holding hand and looking at each other like the other was their world

and then soonyoung was like "okay valid"

You pout, "aww i hope we end up like that"

Soonyound and you turn to each other

He grins for ear to ear, "then lets go on a romantic date as well"

"I thought you'd never ask"

Wonwoo

LiNda

I hope you're ready for wonwoo

Because i sure as hell am not

So in case youre wondering

Youre crazy I mean youre reading this arent you

Prolly at midnight hi fam

Again i dont make the rules

Well just a btw Almost every

Christmas tradition is pagan

Like the tree

The wreath

And SANTA IS SO CREEPY YALL NEED TO GET UR CHILDREN AWAY FROM HIM

SO MAYbe ur not all that crazy

For not wanting to continue them on

i mean sure u can give new meaning to things

But you wanted none of that

Which was whyyyy you decided to DIY the decorations to your entire house

Nnd who else are you going to do that with other than your loving bb boyfriend wonwoo

Wonwoo doesn't mind

He thinks its cute

Because it is a cute date idea

Youtube tutorials

Pinterest ideas and paper snowflakes and all

Yeah

so wonwoo is there cutting up some of the paper you folded

You're glueing some popsicle sticks

He's water coloring some designs in

Youre pulling on the tape dispenser

It's all going great

"Jagiya... i don't want to sound mean but-"

"They're all ugly as hell. I know Wonwoo."

Wonwoo gives an apologetic look.

For a moment u two dont speak

And then you both brust into laughter

"Aww whatever, lez stick em on!"

And do you get your badly painted slowflakes

Your wolf drawing

"That's a wolf?"

"Duh what else would it be wonwoo?"

The letters that spelled merry chrsitmas

And the doodle cutouts of the seventeen members

in personalized ugly sweaters

And placed them all over the place

You look around basking in the glory of ur craft

Its all very colorful

And crafty

And looking like a child made it

Then like an imbecile

U break into laughter

"It looks like a kindergartener's classroom"

U end up roasting yourself

Making fun of your sloppy handwork

And wonwoo watches u

with adoring eyes

"I almost forgot," wonwoo speaks up and pulls out a piece of paper

You recive it from him and break into a smile

"Is this us?"

Wonwoo snorts, "no its jeonghan hyung in a dress holding my hand sweetheart"

For a moment u believe him

But then he breaks out into laughter

Woozi

Boi imma fite u

Christmas carols

Okay idek why i ended up so serious with wonwoo

But listennup

Im not about to maypke it crackier

so back to christmas carols

Dis boi is about to serande you with a christmas themed love song

So its around 8pm at night

Jihoon has is guitar

and ur just chilling right

and ur on ur phone letting him do his thing

but then from the floor he was sat on

he turns to you on the couch

And pats ur leg

"Yo i just finished my song u wann hesr"

You squeak and jump of the couch next to him

"Duh dummy!"

And he starts singing

He's talking about stars and warmth

He's spittin fire about the smell of hot choco

The he's talking sbout how lame joshua's gingerbread house was

Next thing you know ur crying

because omg that ginger bread houseWAS UGLY

also jihoooooooooooooon just serenaded you

Dont u just

Then jihoon catches you and panicks

"You okay? Why are you cryin?!"

"HowDARS YOU ASK ME THAT LISTEN UP U JUST SAID SOME SWEET WORDS TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!!!!!!!"

JIHOON CALms down

But u crybaby cant stop crying

and of course jihoon panicks again

So he starts singing some other Christmas song

And then u start crying about poor rudolf

And remember regina george

But then eventually you calm down

And decide to nuzzle up against jihoon who replaced his guitar with you in his arms

Then us fall asleep with him sweetly singing about the spirit of Christmas

Liz gittit

Of course this ray of light just wants to give off energy to the world

And since he

And u u forgetful ass

Forgot to go shopping for presents

You decided to go on a dec 24th shopping trip!

Hurrah!

But it was too eady for u two

Like wtf

Gift giving Is suuch and easy task

And shoping a day before Christmas

pshhhhhhh

Its a heartbeat

"Whoever gets the best gifts gets for the best price gets to boss the other around until new year," seokmin grins

You knit your brows deeply at his words

And wonder what the hell he has in plan for him to think of doing something so ensnaring

So being the smarter one in the relationship

"Uh no??"

Seokmin was like "ok then the other has to do whatever the other says for the entirety of Christmas"

"???? Whyyyyy?"

"Because its not challengeing or fun if there isn't any condition" "Ugh fine"

So the two of you zip around looking for the best gifts you could get

You try to stay away from the people doing their last minute shopping

Seokmin doesnt dare go in between an old lady mouthing of another customer

Tbh its super stressful

wtf

what kind of date is this

Only morons would do this wtf

Both of you got shoved constantly

There wasnt really much space to move around

And there wasnt really anything to choose from

But hey guess what

Seokmin found some really cool gifts

"Daheck did u get that shirt?"

"Isle five. There were a bunch of people grabbing some stuff and this fell to the ground and so i picked it up and thought it was pretty cool"

You on the other hand got like ok gifts

I mean theyre not bad

But da hell did dk get a frikin eeyore onesie idek

It was no contest.

Seokmin defo won

"Yisss so i win therefor u have to make me some Christmas cookies tomorrow"

"U ho did u really just make me suffer through that so you could ask me to make cookies 4 u???"

"Yes but we really didn have gifts tho."

U roll ur eyes

Seokmin's face falls, "r... r u like mad @ me?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhh"

You knit your brows at him but release a smile when u see his nervous look

"No babo. Im jusy tired, lezgo back home"

He sighs and nods, kissing your cheeks

"Dont worry baby, ill carry all of this back home"

Which he does

And when u get back

He says he forgot something in the car

then comes bzck

And then forcefully turns u around

Ur about to protest

But the you realize he's putting on a silver necklace on u

"Yahhhh seokminie, u shouldnt have. Where you even get this"

"I bought it a while back, duh" he chuckles then kisses you on the cheek

"Merry christmas jagi"

Mingyu

You are a genius for getting boyfriend like mingyu

uh and super lucky like fu--

BUT TODAY

Ur extra glad that mingyu is 10ft tall

Because ur going to be decorating your very own tree

Wow

You bought he prettiest glass ornamnets

and the sparkliest streamers

"I have a vision," u explain

Mingyu nods in understanding

U and him lift the tree into the living room

And then u start decorating the tree from the bottom up

Its all rly chill

You lot are chatting about whatever

He's tellling you about ur tour n stuff

U put on some Christmas tunes for flare

And then u stand up from the floor and boogey with each other

Yall shake ur butts

and go around the tree wrapping it in tinself

Mingyu steals one of the ornaments from u

and u try to take it back from him like the genius u are

Except hes holding it over his head

N u cant for the life of u reach his hand up there

So u step on his foot

And punch his stomach

And he bends down in reaction

In pain

Soz

He was asking for it

U steal the decor back

Then he proceeds to chase u around because aparently ur the bully

*instert pikachu meme here*

N then u get back towork

Or i mean take a break

And u eat a bunch of holiday special junk

And then u get back to work

"ok nows for the star"

U hand him the star because its the entire point of his existance

getting that star up ther

with his longass arms

He turns to u "u dont wanna put it"

BOI

u suck in a breath

"I cant frIKICN REACH IT U LIL"

He give a face, "there are ways"

"My go-- just put the AHHHHHHH"

AND THEN THE NEXT THING U KNOW

Hes crouching down pulling ur legs on his shoulders

"MINGYU PUT ME DOWN" you say, about to rip of his face

Mostly because u have nothi to hold onto

but he stands

with u on his shoulders

and walks to the tree

"Put the damn thing on before u fall!!"

Wow its ur fault again

And screaming u put the star on

And mingyu putz u down

"Okay that was stressful"

U punch him in the gut again

The8

Minghao is super tired

But super looking forward to spending time with u

So u defintely go on a date

But its of the lazy movie watch variety

Im talking all the chesey romance movies

Set in december

that has like mistletoe kisses

And snow scenes

And also those holiday specials

For catroons

And non cartoons

Even the one with arnold swartzimacallit

You pull out the laptop

And get on netflix

There's popcorn on

And hot tea

Or whatever the hell

Its all just very warm

and u and minghao are wrapped together in a warm blanket

Ur nestled in between is legs and ur super warm and cozy and im so soft bleh

"Oh oh, u should see this part, its my fav--"

But u stop uourself when u turn and see minghao fell asleep

U coo and let him obvi

taking unflattering pictures duh

But also cute ones because

#couplegoals

He doesn't sleep through all the movies though

You end up watching non christmas themed films too

Like toy story4

OKAY I CRIED AT THE ENDING

PIXAR IS REALLY COMING FOR MY WIG

"You look really cute cuddled up against me" he'll randomly blurt

U feel ur cheeks brun at that

but no he cant have that

"I thought i was always cute"

He chuckles and groans as he hugs u tightly

U laugh at his reaction

"Of course you're always cute"

"Ok but the teddy bear u got me is actually cuter"

"Nononono, the teddy is cute but uuu are cuter"

"Were u always this gross?"

Seungkwan

Okay

before u tell me these are getting worse and worse every passing member

i would first like to say i know

and that seungkwan bought u a cute dress for Christmas

and took u to a fancy restaurant

Ok ur welcome

But like even if it werent fancy

U'd still like it

cause holy guacamole

imagine holding seungkwans hand as u walk around

Jsut being so head over heels

and super in love with the cutie

Groooossss

LinDA

The feeling is mutual for him when he's around u

so he stops mid conversations

just to take ur pic

Its kinda annoyig

but kinda cute

"Hey unknow hansol told me about-- what are u doing"

"No go on, im just talking ur picture"

Literally the bst hype man alive

Will make take dozen upon dozen photos of u

And will make u pose for aethetics

He will go on making sure everyone knows u da hottest ho in the place

n ur like "seungkwan stfu u embarrassssing meee"

And then oml

Some moron tries to hit on u

and seungkwan sqwares up ready to hit a fool

would he actually do it i mean

prolly Not

but then again he looked really mad

So u calm him down

and u go bzck home

And the cuddles

"Baby girl im sorry if i embarrassed u"

"Nah itz chill i mean i know u have good intentions"

U smile and he takes another candid phto of u

"Broooooo!!"

"Im donnnr. Now hows about we get rid of that dress"

Vernon

okay im willing to guess hansol loves drinking hot chocolate in the winter

So he's like

"Lets do a hot choco review"

And buys 897 types of hot choco

Or like ten

wtf eight hundres pluss is too much

So ur like okay i like hot choco

and then he pulls out his phone and does a vlive

"No i am not jealous of joshua hyungs vlive with his gf"

Yall make like ten cups of hot choco

and is chaotic

Idek how u could get injured

But hey

It wasnt even the hot water invovled

but the wrapping of the choco powder

"Technical difficulties hansol is a big moron"

U get him a bandaid

"Ya! I am not"

Yall start reviewing anyway

*insert try guys eugenes voice*

Im rihght

Ur wong

Shut up

After trying the first onw

Ur like wow dis is good

the second was even better

The third one u hold

then u realized there were eight more cups

And that u made so

much

so u were like "omf there is too much "

then u debated whether or not calling seventeen to drink the rest

But then hansol was like "ther isnt enough for themm"

Then ur like

"okay whatabout making a super hotchoco"

n vernon was like

????

"THATS THE BEST IDEA UVE EVVER HAD"

SO YALL GET A BIGASS POT

MIX THE REST IN

REALIZE U HAVENT RATED THE other cups

Shrug it off

and get a cup of the hot choco mix

"Tastes like corn"

"Bish dafaq"

Dino

Yikes

Chan is a dumb ho

and got himself sick at Christmas so

nononoono thats a no to any cute date ideas

and its just you and him staying at home

U personally dont mind

but hes like "awww but i had so many ideas"

but obvi U cant risk him getting any sicker than he already is

So you stay home and take care of him

and all he can do is complain about everything

about the cold

his runny nose

The lack of taste of the food

His head ache

The fact his bed is hot

And that fact that u have to take care of him

And treat him like a baby

"I am not a baby"

"Listen up, u are always gonna be my baby"

"Not u toooooo najsjsjjs"

You make him some hot cocoa

And hes like "im not drinking that if u call me baby again"

"Babybabybabybabybaby"

Ugghgg "If you keep doing that im not going to give u the gift i gotchu"

"Well das on u"

And then u end up going ona glaring contest

Chan ends up giving it to u anyway

"i hope u choke on it" he grumbles with insencerity

U coo when u see that its a handwritten letter

And then u end up crying because hes super soft

N ur super soft

And gahhh u love him so much

Chan pats ur back because he doesnt want to get u sick if he hugs u

U sniffle and wipe ur eyes

"Who's the baby now, cry baby"

You snarl and pinch his side

And now i say

This was probably hecking bzd but i hope u enjoyed

merry CHRISTMAS

ITS MY FABORITE HOLiDAY

TAKE CARE Of urselves mwaah

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hubofinsanity · 5 years ago

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hey bro. i saw that u said ur struggling with being alone in college. while i dont know exactly how it feels, im currently a highschool freshman struggling with being alone so i kind sorta not really get your pain. being alone sucks and it sucks even more when we see others who arent and i Get That. you just gotta remember that, despite how it may feel, youre not really all that alone. and i KNOW that like 'uR NoT ReaLLY AlOne" sounds like bs and that im invalidating ur loneliness (1/2)

(2/2) but when i say that i mean that theres potential to not feel alone. if i just told you to 'go out and talk to people' and 'its not that hard' id be a hypocrite and i am many things but i try not to be a hypocrite. i fucking get how hard it is to talk to people but i believe in you. colleges are fucking huge i think. i bet you'll find people. i believe in you. and for now, know that there are plenty of people who know how you feel.we're here. its gonna be fine

I have so many things to talk about with this just because i enjoy pulling out everything and responding to it because I’m on my medication (medical cannabis, fight me PTSD) basically don’t feel the need t read all of this hoenstly im just going to ramble for half of this prolly.

1. YOU’RE A B A B E Y

2. hey man sometimes you gotta pull a ‘Do as i say not as i do’ hypocrisy is part of life sometimes. like i’ll probably tell you not to worship my cat as a god. but i do. she’s fucking adorable and could eat me and i’d thank her. also why the fuck is it spelt hypocrisy that just look like it should be pronounces like hypocrispy but without a p which kinda sounds right but it’s not they should have spelled it hypocrasy because that makes fucking sense when you sound it out. (told you i’d ramble, watch out kids oldie andy is comin out)

3. my college is p. small actually b/c there’s a big one like 3 blocks away. plus i don’t live in that part of town because i have ptsd and my mom lives in suburbs so i go to suburbs. basically, here’s some advice for if you do want to have freinds in college - live nearby, actually ask for people’s numbers and text them when you get their numbers (shout out to the guy i like that i ramble about to my friends that i just never talk to b/c im scared ill annoy him) and uhhhh idk be an interesting person?

4. i personally don’t think people will really want to be my friend because of a stigmatized mental illness i have that like if you know what it is it’s clear i have it and if you don’t know anything about it you’ll still not like me because honestly it can make me a little weird but like people think it’s all these big bad type of people and i don’t do that type of stuff and it’s hard to find people who would try to be my friend despite everything. i also just havent had actual good friends and have issues with relationships due to childhood trauma and haven’t been able to form a long lasting connection of any variety for over a decade and i’m only 18.

sorry for the rambling TL;DR uhhhh hypocrisy is sometimes needed and is also spelt stupid community colleges right next to universities are good for transferring and finances, not for having people close to my age at school, actually text people, i have issues with building relationships and thus have issues making friends and haven’t had a long lasting connection literally all my life.

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linearao3 · 6 years ago

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Challenge prompt for February; Rey and Ben are texting each other filthy things to rile each other up before they get home to do said filthy things to each other

The prompt does not explicitly specify, but I have derived from, uh, context clues, that this is intended, like the last anonymous prompt, for the Rey and Ben of Kohelet 3:16, in their LA life. And that is what I have delivered. Doing the text formatting I did in the story proper is kind of exhausting on Tumblr, so you will have to figure out who is typing from their style. (When I answered the prompt on Friday night, I was like, “This is probably among the dirtiest things I’ve ever written.” But I may have topped myself?)

i miss u

Oh, you do, do you?

I’ve heard that one before.

yeah u have

so u know what i mean

You mean you miss my mouth on your cunt.

oh I miss lots of things

but yeah now that u mention it…

its a very nice mouth

Yes, well, I’m extremely busy clerking, so you’ll just have to wait.

ben. we both know how good u are @ waiting.

But we’re talking about YOU waiting.

uh huh

u kno i went to work in just a camisole today

it’s too hot out for bras

if I get too turned on someone might notice

Rey.

but ur busy clerking so i guess im just gonna have to finish out the day like this

REY I AM ACTUALLY BUSY CLERKING

but ur answering ur texts

I’m going to stop now. I’m going to put my phone in my bag on silent and read this brief.

ben if i come to ur office wd you fuck me in a bathroom?

if u came to mine we have this nice supply closet full of snacks

u cd have fruit leather AND get ur dick sucked

sounds fun right??

sounds fun to me

i love it when im sucking ur cock and u start pushing ur hips

like u cant help it

like u need it

does it feel good?

fucking my mouth like that?

i love it when u pull my hair and make me take ur cock

oh u cn def see my nips thru my shirt ben

someone’s gonna walk by and see and think code compiling makes me hot

or maybe they’ll think

oh she’s prolly texting her bf i bet he fucks her good

bet shes a dirty little slut for him

bet shes wet right now just thinking about the sounds he makes when she gets on her knees and sucks him off

shdnt a brief be short ben its called a brief

I’m not your boyfriend. And “good” doesn’t apply to what I’m going to do to you when I get home, Rey.

u kno thats how i like it

Yes; I know just how you like it.

you do.

I would have anyway. You didn’t have to go through all this. All you have to do is ask nicely, once, when we’re both home.

i AM asking nicely.

arent i?

oh shd i say please?

Yes. You should. You have no manners.

PLEASE show me what happens to dirty little sluts with no manners

Rey.

sir.

Fuck.

You murderous little bitch, you’re going to kill me.

dont die ben

if u die i might have to fuck someone else, and they wouldn’t be as good

English lacks vocabulary to express how evil you are.

but i only want u

because ur my favorite and i love you best

You daughter of Lilith.

I’m going to make you scream.

lol guess what

What, Rey.

delays on the expo line

im still downtown

u at home yet?

I wouldn’t be texting you if I were driving.

a safe driver AND a nice cock what a husband i have

She knows Ben’s going to be waiting for her just inside the door and he is. He grabs her from behind, her keys still jingling in her hand. “You filthy little brat,” he breathes in her ear, as his right hand moves slowly over the curve of her hip and his left one draws her close. “You made me blush in front of a federal judge. I had to tell her you’d sent me a compliment.”

“I did.” She works her hips against his stiffening cock. “I sent you lots of compliments.”

“You sent me pornography.” Rey wasn’t lying about having forgone a bra. It’s hot; the AC’s on but he has his sleeves rolled up above his elbows. Both his hands come up to toy with her breasts, kneading and teasing. “You sent me a lot of texts about sucking my cock.”

“Oh,” she says. “Did those catch your interest?”

“Get on your fucking knees,” he says, but she can’t; he’s holding her too tightly against him. She tries to pull away, to show him that she can’t do what he says, but he only strengthens his grip and grinds into her.

“You like it?” he asks her. “You like sucking your husband’s cock? Like a good little slut?”

“Not good.” She turns her head, trying to kiss his jaw, his neck. “Naughty. Dirty. Bad.” She licks him, the rough, shaven skin of his neck. It makes her feel like an animal, but she doesn’t care; she can be an animal with him.

“You are bad,” he agrees, “you’re so bad you make me crazy. So bad you make me cry.” He kisses her. His lips are so soft; his tongue is so subtle. “But you look so good with my cock in your mouth.” He loosens his grip and turns her in his arms so he can kiss her more thoroughly. “Show me, Rey.”

She likes to tease him, draw out playing with his belt while she smiles up at him, but he has no patience for that now; she isn’t even on the floor before he has his cock out and one hand on her head. She purses her lips at the head of his cock and takes him into her mouth slowly, stroking him lightly with her tongue. He almost staggers, his other hand grasping her shoulder to keep his balance as he buckles with pleasure.

Their apartment is small, without much empty space; it only takes a little shove from her to have him against the arm of the couch. He leans on it and looks down at her as she works at him with her hands and her mouth. He sighs brokenly before he can gather himself to whisper to her. “Yes. Fuck. Look at you.” She turns her head slightly, looks up at him. His eyes are wide, dazed, staring at her; after only a moment he groans and throws his head back, as if meeting her gaze was too much for him. His hand strokes blindly, clumsily at her hair.

His hips are beginning to make the small, pleading thrusts Rey’d texted him about. She slides her mouth off his cock and stoops a little to take one of his balls in her mouth. His hand clenches on her head and his moan is almost a sob as she sucks gently, then moves to the other with a pop of suction. His free hand clenches on the scratchy felt of the couch. She licks up a drop of pre-come, and puts his cock between her lips again. The taste of him goes so perfectly with the smell of him; she bobs her head at a leisurely, savoring pace, and reaches down to rub herself through her jeans.

He hisses at her, and drags her off him by her hair, ignoring her noises of protest. He turns her around again, unbuttoning her pants, as he pushes her against the arm of the couch. “I know how you like it.” He yanks her pants and underwear to her knees and pushes lightly on her shoulder blades; she falls eagerly. “I know just how you like it. And I am going to make you scream, aren’t I?”

“Yes,” she says into the cushions, and then his fingers are inside her, flexing, beckoning, while the tip of his thumb settles just shy of her clit, pulling at the hood without ever touching the pearl, and Rey groans and twists and kicks her legs helplessly, but his fingers are relentless and her groans become small, aching cries.

Then his other hand closes in her hair, pulling her back into an arch, and she knows what’s coming; he pulls his fingers out of her, and her body, which must have no sense of self-preservation, clenches down as he pushes his cock in. She screams around the wet fingers he thrusts into her mouth as he fucks her, bracing himself against the couch, and he does know just how she likes it; she likes it just like this, just like he gives it to her, her forearms burning where they rub against the felt, her back tight as a bow, and her hips driven into the arm of the couch as he rides her.

“Such a bad girl.” He’s so deep inside her. She ruts back against him frantically; she’s mad with pleasure; she’s an animal in his arms and he will keep her with him. “Don’t I give you what you want?”

“Yes,” she cries. Fuck – fuck – she’s so close. “I need it.”

“You do,” he agrees. “Look at you. Ah. You do.” And he fucks her even harder, until she comes, gasping and thrashing and screaming, again.

The instant she’s quieted down, he pulls out of her and drags her backwards; she isn’t sure if he wants her on her knees or on her back, and she ends up half-slumped against the couch with his left hand in her hair and his right jerking furiously at his cock.

“You wanted to see,” he grits. “Want to see what happens – to dirty little sluts – with no manners?”

“Yes,” she says, “yes, please.”

His jaw is clenched; his hand on her head is clenched. “Call me sir.”

“Please, sir,” she begs, and he drags her close and comes on her face in hot, shocking spurts, choking and groaning above her.

He sways and falls to his knees, cradling her face in his hands, with a stunned look, like he’s bewitched, like he can’t believe what he sees. Then he falls again, backwards, onto the floor, taking her with him, clutched to his chest. “Rachel,” he says, and she can feel it in her bones, the way his deep voice is torn from his chest. “Rachel.”

They lie there on the floor, still half-dressed, soaked with sweat and come, and she hears his heart, like hers, begin to slow. Around the edges of the blinds, the sun is still warm, and the AC hums from the bedroom. His fingers run through her hair, catching on tangles he’s put there himself. They will get up; he will carry her (if she lets him) into the shower, and he’ll wash her carefully, rubbing the soap in thorough, soothing circles, repeating variations on her name, Rey, Rachel, Ruchele. Shaina maidle, habibati, dodi. They will put on clothes again, and order a pizza, or he’ll run down the street to the taco truck on Venice. But for now they just lie here, and she feels him shift, and tells him what he wants to know before he can ask it.

“You are still my favorite,” she says, and kisses his hand, “and I still love you best.”

#reylo #reylo fanfic #kohelet 3:16 #prompts #anonymous #lemons #sigh

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kendrixtermina · 2 years ago

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Haha for real.

One of the first thing I did after reading the Lukovich book is compose a thank you message to dear old mom for keeping our family somewhat cohesive, making it something ppl want to be part of & keeping in touch with me after I moved out etc. basically doing a lot of so related stuff that I never really appreciated or valued. That was late last year but I don’t think the full significance sank in until way after.

Cause had it been up to me I defo would not have kept in touch nor expected them to. I always expected to leave and never see them again. When they left the federal state I’d been living in while I was finishing my degree, I think my ex minded their absence more than me.

As an adolescent, I had tried to get into a boarding school, attempted running away and even begging a social worker to remove me from the family. I wanted to be free of the bullying and my father’s abuse, but I would have been cool with never seeing my mother or siblings again.

In fact I long regretted what I saw as the mistake that did not get me removed. In some ways I still do though there is no way to know what would have happened, being in foster care would probably have sucked in a whole different way.

My bro was the only one I would have said I was remotely close to pre-moveout, but probably in the last 10 years most the interactions we had is because the social-havers invited us both to the same event, if it weren’t for them we prolly would have scattered to the winds.

I was touched that they wanted to keep in touch with me & that my mother helped me out so many times over the years and was more patient with my lack of professional progress than anyone could have asked her to, so that’s how we actually ended up growing alot closer as adults than we really were before. (it helps that I’ve cut off all contact with my father so he is no longer there to triangulate everything.)

I certainly never thought that I’d ever be deliberately moving to the same town as my mother & siblings. I mean in a sense I’m still doing it ‘cause I have no reason not to & it doesnt really matter to me what city im in so long as it is big, but I guess that’s more than zero.

I’ve been here several weeks and I’m still being spontaneously glomped by my mother “Im sooo happy youre here now and im seeing you more than 2 times a year, im sooo happy to have all my babies living nearby” & siblings are all exited & wanna do stuff with me that’s just so weird. I haven’t even done anything useful to merit this, these ppl should be beyond tired of me and my bullshit.

but, if all the evidence says they arent it would be silly and irrational to contest that. guess ill just count myself grateful.

the coup de grace was hearing that apparently the youngest rejoiced when she heard i was coming because I apparently “always talk about interesting things” - that’s such a contrast to, like... i didnt read half as much stuff lately as I would have liked to. i didnt do anything. i never have anything to say or tell about. i want to hide away so nobody asks me. I’m so void of any novel useful content that you can hear the wind blowing through me. Or so I would have thought.

I’m probably sounding as silly as those ppl going “can I still be a 7 if I have only one social outing per day” or “Can I still be a 9 if I made a displeased face at my mother once” (actual questions ive gotten on reddit)

its one think to acknowledge that it will never “feel enough” and that thats not a good guage, but then what is one? Thats not so obvious, which makes it all feel like thin ice.

But maybe I’ve come somewhat closer to making the step from “ignoring social completely” to “it has to get in line behind the other 2 things but is at least somewhat on the radar. ”

I hate to be agreeing with that darn Lukovich especially since sneered at that cliched woo-woo sounding line of when I first read the book, but you really don’t have a grasp what the blindspot really is at the beginning.

IDK on some level I still don’t want to care about that too much & much of it still seems silly and I worry that I’ll lose whatever clarity I have to see through arbitrary bullshit. though you at least wanna be aware that it exists, because not seeing stuff that exists is not clarity either.

eh i dunno. still gotta think about that. dont have it quite sorted yet. but if mom wants me to go have ice cream with her once in a while cause talking cheers her up thats a discount price for all the free help shes given me for no reason, i guess. i still fell that if i ever came to any money, i would have to pay her back somehow, at least for everything that was done after i turned 18. but she probably wouldnt want money, per se.

maybe us all living nearby really is as great of a dream as she makes it out to be, but really accepting that reality is precarious, cause, am I then taking that away if I wanted to fuck off and move away for some reason. it seems very important to have that freedom. but insisting on that would carry a price tag, i guess.

uh. this got a bit beyond the scope of just the instinct thing but i think it is illustrative nonetheless.

Hey, it's me again lol

How you doing? I was on the bus having q complete crisis over something. And I thought something like "I can't even take care of myself"

You have say multiple times that you don't even think about your IV that's blind.

But you don't came to start to thinking about it when you discover your IV stacking?

I'm most likely an sp blind, since I discovered it I have feel bad about it. Because I came to the reality that I don't take care of me whatsoever, so I'm thinking bout it sometimes. But in that way.

Is that possible?

To oneself become more self aware of what's lacking on the iv. Not like becoming good at it. Just starting to notice it.

I don't know if that even makes sense sorry lol

It's more that confronted with someone who prioritizes your blind spot, you cannot relate to them at all or go "eww, who would care about that enough to make that the most important thing in their life?" Blindness is not "I can't do it at all," it's "these other things take up so much of my focus, I neglect this third one most of the time."

#enneagram

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decodervon · 5 years ago

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disregard the last post.

i made that with a lot of anger and frustration. weve talked a lot since then and I'm... not that angry anymore. I probably shouldn't even be talking with you, but i hate how much it helped.

i hate curiosity. i always scolded you and warned you about looking for things you might not want to find and i did it. i found something i didn't want to find.

i found out you were casually dating again.

and of course you are. i mean. we "broke up" in September. it's been months. theres no reason to feel shameful or bad. I cant fault you and I cant be mad at you. and I'm still mad about some stuff, but that's not one of them.

this one hurts though. i knew i would feel like this, but i hate how much my mind keeps REMINDING ME. I'll be trying to sleep and my mind is like, "u kno she seeing someone right. they prolly banging. its prolly way better then ur tired ass sex. doesnt have to say weird fetish shit." and its LIKE. OK. I GET IT. STOP. STOP REPEATING OVER AND OVER. DONT WAKE ME UP TO REMIND ME.

i heard about it after I went snooping about your party. people said their was distinct body language and he seems to have a very outgoing personality and seemed really nice. it sounds like exactly what you need and IT KILLS ME.

I HATE I went snooping. OF COURSE this is what i get. we've talked since then and i know you feel confused and scared. best thing I could actually do for you is leave you alone and let you have a real chance at it. maybe it's a rebound. but so were we. my evil, manipulative side knows that you still feel emotionally connected to me due to calling me about Vday stuff. my pragmatic side wants to sort out a deal where i exchange emotional support for physical intimacy because I know we both want those things and know the other can give them. i can listen and talk and care about your problems and you could do whatever weird, gross, aggressive sexual stuff and not judge me (I think.) but my less evil/neutral sides know that that would throw a wrench in both our things and the best thing I can do is stay away.

that being said... I dont want to. it's like doing coke or something. like yeah, it's bad. but like. if no one knows... then maybe it's not THAT bad. like it would detrimental to us if we got together and we argued and fought. that would be unhealthy. but just... secreting away and being physical and keeping it hot and fast.. ugh. I mean. its sorta like all those fantasies you helped me with. except we wouldn't be pretending.

ugh. prolly makes me a horrible person. prolly makes US. I know you kind of want to do the same thing. I tried to cool suggest it, but you're probably conflicted about it too. I want you to just... show up late one night. some random text at like... 11pm being like, "I'm outside. should I leave?" and then I mull it over and invite you in quietly. you're wearing something impossibly hot like you do. we hug and I can tell you want to feel my body because it's been so long. we go back to my room and talk awkwardly for a few minutes. we both mention how you shouldnt be here sheepishly while ignoring the fact neither of us are protesting it very hard. you slide off your coat, looking me in the eye the whole time. that longing, sad look. that look that makes it impossible not to kiss you. I pull away after a minute and say, "this is wrong. we shouldnt be doing this." and you lean in close to my ear and whisper "hes not you." and I instinctually press my body against yours. you nuzzle into my neck as you slide your hands under my shirt, around my waist and up my back. I put my hands on your waist and take a deep breath of the smell of your hair. I say, "i dont want to hurt anyone" you said "I dont care." or more likely "no one has to know"... we appreciate each others bodies like we always should have. I go over every inch of you, knowing I might not see it again. you go over those inches of me like they're an old friend you're excited to see. you say all the terrible things I want you to say and I hurt you like you liked to be hurt. we go on for an hour. i want you to stay but i cant ask. my willpower drained with my stress. you fix yourself and disappear like an uninvited vampire. i cry. a lot. i hold myself and wish it was you. the lifetime of memories creeping back onto me. I hate myself for what I've done, but desperately try and inhale your fading scent still lingering in my bed.

ugh. I'm probably gonna end up writing something hot and complete after sharing that. I hate that I want that so bad. but I shouldnt. I have more to lose in this than you do.

you would hate me if you knew what I had been up to since. one of the other reasons I cant judge you for moving on. I've talked and reached out to many people you arent a fan of. not to spite you, but because those people knew me in intimate ways I can trust. I gained insight from talking to them and meeting with them. but that's not what I'm referring to.

im... also.. casually dating someone. it's still all pretty fledgling, as I am WAY too delicate to dedicate myself to anyone. but its... it's someone you know. some things had been happening that neither of us knew about.. and I dont want to tell you because I feel like I'd be cursing you with the same curse that I have. imaging you with that person, not being able to stop... but I know the curiosity is almost as killer for you. its.. a hard thing to figure out morally. but I dont want to jeopardize it. its... it's a once in a lifetime chance. they care about me.. legitimately. and probably more than they should with how emotionally volatile I am right now. but they dont really know how.. I am. part of me is a sweet, great guy. but another part of me is the type to want to have that night I wrote about. a secret trust where we exhaust each other physical and say all the sick things we want, knowing that the other wont judge them. (hell, anything is better than arguing)

I want to be physically wanted... but I want to be wanted by you. I loved when you would love my body. cause like... in my head, when people say things about loving me, I always diffuse it "oh she just thinks she loves me like that" "oh shes convinced herself she likes that about me" "oh she thinks that's cute now, but give it time..." and its just... innate to my awful self esteem. but body stuff? making out with me? going down on me? holding, examining and loving.. parts of me? it feels so much... truer to me. like someone couldnt lie about that. I know thats... naive to think. but that's how it feels. no one who doesnt like you is gonna put their dick in their mouth. bottom line. or go along with your fantasies that you yourself think are strange to be attracted to. i wanted you to want me so bad. i wanted you to love my body and tell me youd been thinking about it. it's such a direct link to my heart.. ugh. but that.. stuff got all messed up. I think that's what made me fall in love in the first year. you cherished my body. you worshipped it. you wanted to sherk your duties to have more of it and I was totally enthralled. that first year made me stay for so long and through so much. always chasing that high. that time where my body was all you wanted and all i wanted was your heart. and it all got so... nevermind.

the person I'm dating.. we're talking it very slow. ive.. kissed her. in fact, your vday call interrupted that kiss. can you believe that timing? thanks universe. if you're trying to say we should get back together, maybe dont kill a beautiful innocent cat next time. I was mad you wanted me to support you through death.. after you abandoned me when I needed your support so bad. I'm still kinda mad. but whatever. this isnt a mad post.

i.. its. shes.. she lets me talk about you. she knows you. maybe better than I did. its hard.. shes not experienced with.. our type of relationship so much. I try not to put much on her. for the reasons of not wanting to overburden her and to keep from forming an instant bond. I know I still have these raw, visceral feelings for you and I dont want to hurt someone I care about because of them. I dont know how you know your new guy, but my guess is: not very well. maybe it's a tinder date. maybe it's a friend of a friend. but if I had to make an educated guess, it's someone far removed who is just.. treating you well. like how you want to be treated. kind of a nobody, but that's a good thing. like if things kept being nice, cool. if they didnt work, whatever. something noncommittal. something lowkey. something you didnt have to /worry/ about. which is all... smart. but I also know that if you felt like you wanted to drive that shit into a wall, you wouldnt lose a lot of sleep over it. and you considering the tryst.. well. yeah. speaks to that effect. i... I wonder if I should have even suggested its because I can't drive my thing into a wall. its... I cant. youd understand if you knew.

theres probably only one person in your mind you would legitimately fear me dating if you sat down and thought about it. someone that wasn't just someone you didnt want me dating. not like Kayla or Grace where it would just... bug you. I mean deeper. someone that you couldnt wrest me away from. someone that your charms would fall flat because of. I'm talking Caitlyn levels of dedicated affection. and as I said, I dont want to jump in. I know how easily i fall in love. I'm taking this slow. developing a foundation. trying to figure myself. wanting someone to treat me well and watch anime and cartoons with while being warm and laughing. someone to affectionately take care of me. someone who wanted to spend time with me.. someone who's house i could come over to in the daylight.. someone who's friends were excited for her and not judgemental of her..

I get why you're dating. I'm doing the same thing for the same reasons. i need this. you need this. i wanted you to treat me these ways but i couldnt keep.. telling you how to treat me after so many years. you could write a book on me. I STILL know how to take care of you and I mostly figured it out after years. I wanted to see you try and figure me out. you didnt have to be right. I just wanted you to try. I left a breadcrumb on my IG for this story, but I never know when or if you'll ever read these. I always want to hear your feelings too. I wish you wrote like this. I wish I had a direct line to your thoughts like back in the day when you wrote. it always helped. I still check your tumblr from time to time. like the idiot I am.

ugh. like the absolute idiot I am.

(ps. I watch that last video we made like every day.)

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