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usoinked · 5 months ago

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Hey sis uhhhh can I get a Drew McIntyre fanfic and make it real nasty… and oooo can I get a Damian request where he whimpering for me to be his Dom and he my Sub…. I want it nastier than coleslaw

🖤In His Black Mustang🖤 (Drew McIntyre X Black Reader)

CW: 18+ MDNI, Multiple Orgasms, Car Sex, Swallowing, Protective p in v (this time😝), Overstimulation, Choking

Word Count: 5.6k+

Drew McIntyre had always been a pillar in WWE. The Scottish Warrior feared nothing and no one. But lately, everything felt like it was starting to unfold…and not in a good way. The phone call to join the Busted Open Holiday Party podcast with Bubba Ray, Mark Henry, and a couple of other guys wasn’t something he was excited about. He reluctantly accepted, but the frustration was building up—losing to Punk at Bad Blood, the memories of the Bloodline attacks, the fact he hadn’t held a championship since 2020, and the loss of two family members had all been eating at him.

But what really gnawed at him? The silence. After Bad Blood, no one reached out—except for you. You, of all people. When he saw your name pop up on his phone, he couldn’t believe it. It had been more than 15 years since your high school graduation. Back then, you were just a classmate, someone he’d talk to now and then when there was a project or when you grabbed a quick lunch together. You weren’t close, but you were the only one to check on him during his “vacation” time after the chaos and he didn’t expect it, but he wasn’t upset either.

What did get under his skin, though, was the aftermath of the podcast. Some fans got it—he could feel that—but there were always a few who had smart comments. “Unprofessional,” they’d say. “He ain’t the only one with family to worry about.” Drew wasn’t about to scroll through that nonsense, because he didn’t care. Social media wasn’t really his thing. He posted his workout videos, occasionally trolled a little, but other than that, he wasn’t gonna let some strangers online drag his mental health down further than it already was. Drew McIntyre was gonna do whatever Drew McIntyre wanted to do. That’s how he’d had always been.

After a couple of days trying to clear his head, Drew decided he needed a change of pace. And with that pace came his 2017 Ford Mustang GT—a sleek, black beast with a roaring V8 engine that had always helped him clear his mind or cool down when things got too heavy. The classic American muscle car, with its aggressive stance and powerful presence, fit Drew’s own no-nonsense persona. But tonight, rather than drive around aimlessly, he decided to stop at a diner. As he drove, the car gleamed under the low afternoon light, Scottish tag decor on the rearview mirror catching the light as he pulled into the parking lot. He stepped out, the familiar thud of his boots hitting the asphalt, his black leather jacket swinging with his movements. His hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail, strands of dark brown curling at the edges. He wore a simple black shirt, jeans, and sturdy black boots—just enough to blend in without trying too hard.

The diner had that old-school charm—small, with faded vinyl booths and a jukebox in the corner playing classic blues. The kind of place that felt like it’d been around forever, serving greasy comfort food and making you feel like you could just forget about the world for a while.

You’d already snagged a booth by the time he

arrived, staring out the window when you heard the door swing open. The soft jingle of the bell above it broke the quiet, and you didn’t have to look up to know who it was. Drew’s presence was unmistakable. A few seconds passed, then the sound of boots clicking against the floor grew louder as he made his way over.

When you finally looked up, his eyes met yours, a flicker of recognition crossing his face. A pause. Then, without missing a beat, he slid into the booth across from you before taking a second, running a hand through his hair before settling back into the booth.

“Didn’t expect you’d be the one to check in on me,” Drew muttered, his thick Scottish accent wrapping around the words like it always had, though now it had a softer edge. He gave you a small, surprised smile, the corners of his lips turning up just slightly. “Of all the folks from back then, thought maybe I’d hear from someone else.”

You blinked, shocked for a second, before a grin tugged at your lips. “Wait—you—you actually remember me?” You laughed, adjusting your glasses and crossing your arms over your chest. “Who else was gon’ check in on you? Ain’t nobody else care like that. Besides, we were acquaintances at the very least, Drew. We ain’t talked in years, but that don’t mean nothin’.” You leaned back, tapping your fingers against the table, giving him that look like he knew exactly what you meant.

He let out a short chuckle, running a hand through his hair, and for the first time in a while, his shoulders seemed to ease. “I do remember you.” His voice softened as he leaned back into the booth, the familiar weight of his words settling between you two. “But you’re right. Aren’t many people I’d expect to reach out.”

Drew’s eyes softened, as his shoulders relaxed a bit. “Well…then again maybe I haven’t made it easy to reach out.” He shook his head, his hands folding on the table in front of him. “Everything’s just… been too much.”

You nodded, picking up your fork and taking a bite of your pumpkin pie getting it down before speaking. “You always do that shit, though,” you said, grinning like you knew him inside and out. “Act like you gotta carry the world on your shoulders by yourself. But it ain’t gotta be like that all the time. You have to let people in, Drew. Ain’t nobody expect you to do all that by yourself.”

Drew sighed, leaning back in the booth, his dark eyes glancing at you. “Aye, I know. But sometimes it’s hard, y’know? The pressure. The decisions. The people who expect you to be something you don’t even feel anymore.”

You raised an eyebrow and smirked. “I get it. But you can’t run all that, either. You can walk out of that podcast, that’s cool, but running from everything else? That’s gon’ catch up with you.”

He paused, looking down at the table for a moment, before nodding. “Right. Guess you’re right about that.” His voice was quieter now, almost thoughtful. “Aye, I’ll think about it, might be over it by morning.” He glanced up at you, a slight smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “You always did have a way of putting things straight to me though…I appreciate that a lot y’know.”

You shrugged, cutting into your fried chicken. “I’m just sayin’, don’t wait ‘til it’s too late. Ain’t no shame in letting people check in on you, Drew.”

You chimed before the waitress came over to take both your orders.

The waitress, a middle-aged woman with a friendly smile, approached the booth after a few minutes, pad and pen in hand. Drew looked up from the menu, giving him a nod.

“Y’alright to order, sir?” the waitress asked, his Southern drawl thick but warm.

Drew glanced down at the menu towards the drinks. then back at the waitress. "Aye, I'll take an iced tea. Sweet, if you've got it."

The waitress nodded and scribbled it down.

"Iced tea, sweet. Alright and were you ready for the food, or you need another minute?"

Drew’s gaze shifted to the menu one last time, his brows furrowing slightly as he considered his options. He was in the South for the upcoming Atlanta show, and he figured it was the perfect opportunity to indulge in something comforting. After a brief pause, he leaned back in the booth and looked the waiter dead in the eye.

“Ain’t no better time for some good Southern cooking,” Drew said, his Scottish accent rolling smoothly off his tongue. “I’ll have the fried chicken with collard greens, mashed potatoes and gravy, and some cornbread on the side. Can’t pass up on cornbread when you’re in the South.”

The waitress grinned, jotting down the order before giving a quick nod. “Coming right up, sir. You want that chicken extra crispy?”

Drew’s smile grew a little wider, his usual confidence shining through. “Aye, make it extra crispy. I need that crunch.”

The waitress grinned, jotting down the order before giving a quick nod. “Coming right up, sir. I’ll get that drink for ya, and the food’ll be out shortly.”

Drew gave her a quick nod as the waitress turned to walk away, heading toward the kitchen. The soft hum of the diner filled the air, and Drew leaned back in the booth, eyes wandering over the menu again as he waited.

A few minutes passed, and soon enough, the waitress was back with a tall glass of iced tea, condensation dripping down the sides.

“Here ya go, sir—sweet iced tea, just like you asked,” the waitress said, setting the glass down in front of Drew.

Drew took a long sip, the cold sweetness hitting him just right. “That’s the stuff,” he muttered under his breath, giving the waiter a thankful nod.

The waitress gave him a wink. “Be back with that meal in just a minute.”

Drew took another sip, relaxing into the booth, the weight of the last few days beginning to lift with the simple comfort of the drink. The moments of peace were few and far between lately, but this? This felt good.

It wasn’t long before the waiter returned, carrying a tray loaded with the food Drew had ordered. He set it down with a small flourish.

“Fried chicken, collard greens, mashed potatoes and gravy, and cornbread—extra crispy just like you wanted,” the waitress said with a smile.

Drew’s eyes immediately lit up. “Aye, that’s perfect,” he said, his voice gruff but appreciative as he took in the spread. The fried chicken looked golden brown and crispy, the collard greens steaming with a rich, tangy scent, the mashed potatoes piled high with savory gravy dripping over them, and the cornbread sitting warm and inviting on the side.

As you both ate, the conversation didn’t need to pick up again right away. The comfortable silence between you was enough, the soft clink of silverware and the low hum of the jukebox in the background creating a sense of peace. Drew’s shoulders, which had been tense all week, had begun to relax.

The food was gone quicker than either of you expected. Drew hadn’t realized how hungry he was until the warm, crispy chicken hit his stomach. The mashed potatoes were thick and creamy, soaking up the rich gravy, and the cornbread was just the right amount of sweet to balance everything else. You both sat back in the booth for a minute, catching your breath.

“You know,” Drew began, wiping his hands with a napkin and glancing at you, “this…this ain’t so bad. It’s been a while since I had a meal like this.”

You smirked, pushing your glasses up your nose as you leaned back. “Don’t act like you don’t know where the good food at. Shoulda hit me up sooner, you know.”

He chuckled, giving you a look. “Aye, maybe I should have.” His eyes softened for a second, his voice quieter now. “I appreciate you checkin’ in on me. Not a lot of folks would, not with everything I’ve been… I dunno, puttin’ out there.”

You shrugged, collecting the last of your silverware. “Don’t gotta be all ‘Scottish Warrior’ all the time, Drew. Sometimes you gotta let people be there for you, ya hear me?”

He nodded, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “Aye. I hear you.”

You both sat there for a second, letting the moment settle. The quiet wasn’t uncomfortable—just comfortable, easy. Drew glanced out the window toward the parking lot, where his black Mustang sat under the dimming sky. You followed his gaze, then looked back at him.

“You drivin’ that beast home tonight, or are you planning on doing something a little less… dangerous?” you teased, a playful grin on your face.

Drew raised an eyebrow. “Dangerous, eh? She’s just a car.” His grin stretched a little wider, though. “But aye, I was thinkin’ about takin’ a drive. Get my head clear. We could continue this conversation in the car if you want.”

“Good call,” you replied, pushing yourself out of the booth. “Yeah I don’t got nothin’ planned so I’m down.”

He paused for a moment, then gave a slight nod, standing up too. “Aye, sure. I could use the company.”

You both walked out together, the cool night air hitting your skin as Drew led the way to his car. The Mustang, black and sleek, sat there with the kind of presence only a car like that could have. You admired the little touches—Scottish tags hanging from the rearview mirror, the low rumble of the engine when Drew unlocked it.

He slid into the driver’s seat, the leather creaking under his weight, and you hopped into the passenger side. As he started the engine, the deep growl of it vibrating through the car made you grin. He put it in gear, and the Mustang rolled smoothly out of the lot.

“So, where we headed?” you asked, glancing over at him as you buckled your seatbelt.

Drew’s hands gripped the wheel with that familiar intensity, but his voice was lighter than usual. “Don’t matter. Just… somewhere quiet. We can talk or just listen to the road.”

You nodded, settling back into the seat as the engine hummed beneath you. The city lights faded in the rearview mirror, and he had you in the passenger seat, it felt just like high school when he had his dark blue 2007 GT. He’d always be the one to drive whenever you both got lunch together, a little speedy, but he never put you in harms way intentionally.

The only sound by this point was the faint sound of the radio and the tires rolling across the gravel as Drew’s mustang made its way towards the road.

As his car sped down the semi-empty road, you didn’t even notice that both your hands were a little too close to one another. From what you could remember, Drew only really liked physical touch from a small amount of people, but you were included in that circle. You hadn’t seen him in years and now was the perfect time to reconnect because you didn’t know when you’d get to see him again especially since he was always on the road. You just got really lucky this time because this Monday’s show happened to be in Atlanta, which is where you stayed.

I've been out on that open road

You can be my full time, daddy, white and gold

Singing blues has been getting old

You can be my full time, baby

Hot or cold

The car’s engine hummed along the semi-empty road, the rhythmic sound mixing with the soft pulse of the music from the speakers. It was a warm night, Atlanta’s summer air creeping through the cracked window, carrying the scent of asphalt and distant city life. The road stretched out in front of you, quiet and almost serene—just the two of you, the hum of the tires, and the occasional flicker of streetlights as you passed.

Your fingers hovered just inches away from his, the space between you a whisper, but that whisper felt louder with every second. You glanced over at Drew, his focus on the road, his hand resting casually on the wheel. You knew he didn’t like a lot of physical touch, always a little distant with others, but with you… it was different. It always had been.

You didn’t give it much thought—just a quick flicker of a decision in your mind—and then you closed the distance. Your fingers brushed, then tangled with his, the simple act feeling like both an invitation and a challenge.

Don't break me down (don't break me down)

I've been travelin' too long (I've been travelin' too long)

I've been trying too hard (I've been trying too hard)

With one pretty song (with one pretty song)

To your surprise, Drew didn’t pull away. Didn’t flinch. Didn’t even seem startled. He just glanced at you with a look that was a mix of confusion and curiosity, as if he was still trying to figure out if this was some trick or if you’d really just done what you did.

“You know I don’t really like physical touch too much,” he said, his voice low, almost contemplative.

You grinned, cocking an eyebrow as you squeezed his hand lightly. “Only from certain people, me included,” you shot back, your voice dripping with that familiar, playful boldness.

His lips twitched into a smirk, his beard shifting with the movement, and for a second, you saw that flicker of something—something old, something familiar, maybe even a little teasing—pass through his eyes. His hand slowly curled around yours, pulling you in just a bit tighter. “I wanted to see if you still remembered,” he said, the words soft, but heavy.

The car continued down the road, the miles ticking by without much more conversation, but the air between you was charged, thick with unspoken things.

I hear the birds on the summer breeze, I drive fast

I am alone at midnight

Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble, but I

I've got a war in my mind

So, I just ride

Just ride, I just ride, I just ride

He kept his eyes on the road, but you could feel him stealing glances at you, like he was trying to figure out exactly what you were doing here. You hadn’t seen Drew in years—years—but in a way, it felt like you hadn’t missed a beat. Like nothing had really changed.

“Yeah, I remember,” you said quietly, squeezing his hand once more before settling back in the seat, letting the silence hang for a bit. Your mind flickered to the past, to all the nights you’d spent together, to the way he used to laugh when you’d drag him out on some wild adventure, to how you’d always been able to read each other without words.

You could see the city lights off in the distance now, the skyline of Atlanta glowing faintly like a sea of stars. Drew didn’t say anything more, but his expression softened, a slight edge of nostalgia creeping in. The car turned off the main road, heading toward a more secluded path. The streets became quieter, narrower, until Drew slowed down, the engine quieting as he eased the car off onto a gravelly patch of land.

He parked the car with a small shift of the gear stick, and for a moment, everything went still. You could see the city sprawling beneath you, the lights of downtown Atlanta twinkling in the distance, and the horizon stretched out with that perfect mix of urban glow and natural darkness.

Drew didn’t move for a second, his hand still holding yours.

“This your secret spot?” you asked, voice low as you took in the view, knowing he was the type to find hidden gems like this, tucked away from the rest of the world.

His eyes didn’t leave the view either, but there was something in the quiet that seemed almost intimate, like he was letting you in on something. “Aye,” he said, finally looking at you. “I used to come here when I needed to think. Clear my head.” He paused, studying you closely, like he was deciding how much to share. “Used to come here with someone else, too.”

Your heart gave a small, unexpected skip at the mention of someone else. You glanced at him, searching his face for any sign of what that “someone else” meant. He didn’t elaborate, though. Just kept that same unreadable look, like he wasn’t sure how much you needed to know.

You leaned back in the seat, still holding onto his hand, the weight of the moment wrapping around both of you like a familiar old blanket. You didn’t need to press him, not yet anyway. There were still so many things you wanted to say, but for now, the city lights, the sound of Drew’s breathing, and the feeling of his hand in yours were enough. The rest could wait.

Finally, you turned your head, catching Drew’s gaze once more. “I don’t know how long it’s gonna be before I get another chance to see you like this, anything you had in mind” you questioned, teasing slightly, but truthfully it was a genuine question. You didn’t know when you’d see him again.

Drew’s smirk softened, and his thumb traced small circles over your hand. “Let’s make the most of it.” He said as you both locked eyes and the space between you two started fading…fast. You were breathing but it felt like the whole world just stopped the moment your lips connected to his. As he shifted his weight, the sounds of his leather jacket made you instinctively grab onto it with your free hand clutching it tightly beneath your palms. Drew knew how desperate you were and slowly guided you over onto his lap, your knees being on both sides of his legs as you could feel his bulge through the fabric of his black jeans. Even during all of the shifting, your mouths never let go of one another. His tongue, the mixture of saliva, and the faint taste of Wheatley Vodka accompanied the make out session you had. Your hands slowly untangled as his palms cupped your cheeks deepening the kiss you two shared. I’m really fucking kissing Drew McIntyre, but with how close you were and the friction becoming more and more heated, you were getting agitated. The fabric you both had on were in the way and it seemed that Drew felt the exact same way, because it was only for a brief moment that you both pulled away from each other. That kiss left you breathless yet wanting more at the same time as you quickly raised your arms slightly, letting your elbow rest against the ceiling of the car for a second as Drew removed your shirt, quickly pulling them back down you took off Drew’s leather jacket and his shirt tossing them both to the back. And just like that your lips were back onto each other’s again, only this time, you were the first one to take something off as you fumbled with his belt buckle for a few seconds. Being away from that kiss for even a few seconds felt criminal and you weren’t willing to pull away just to see where anything was, neither was he as you felt your lace bra come undone with a soft click.

Your breasts sprang free the moment the fabric dropped onto Drew’s chest which you quickly tossed into the passengers seat, uncaring about how sloppy the kiss was getting. Drew’s rough hands glided towards your chest before taking both your nipples in between his fingers causing a soft moan to slip from your lips. He knew exactly what he was doing by teasing you but you could play the same game, grinding your hips just above his where there was only a small amount of friction between you two. This earned a growl from Drew as you only smiled in the kiss, but he didn’t seem to be pleased in the slightest. It was almost like he could tease you but doing it back to him, was a mistake you’d end up paying for. His hands slowly pulled away from your breasts before unbuttoning your shorts, pulling your legs around where you were now in a sitting position with your legs draped across the passenger seat. “Take ‘em off” he instructed but his voice was firm, a command you knew you would follow regardless of what your mind told you. You quickly slipped off your sneakers before pulling off your shorts and panties along with them.

While you were busy doing that, Drew had slid his pants pants down just past his knees before tugging at the fabric of his boxers, sliding them down as well just in time for you to turn around and be met with a mouth watering sight. His hairy chest accompanied with a happy trail that lead directly to his dick had your eyes locked in place. Your pussy jumped in anticipation as your hands found their way over to the hard, veiny muscle between his legs. It was thick and the more your hand wrapped around it and moved up and down, the more desperate you became. You knew using a condom was a smart decision, but the thought of being filled with Drew’s dick, in his black mustang, while his hands were wrapped around you were enough to send the thought away. But you were smart enough to know better…for now.

“You got condoms don’t you?” You questioned before biting your lip as if contemplating your decision to use them but you decided to go with it. “Look in the glove compartment” he said while looking directly at you, his blue eyes baring into your dark brown ones making you really question that decision. If you looked at him any longer you could see yourself risking it all, prompting you to quickly turned away before opening the glove compartment and taking out a Trojan magnum XL, yanking it open with the pull of your teeth. With a swift motion, you pulled your hand away from Drew’s cock taking the condom out of the wrapping before discarding the wrapping somewhere in the car for now. “Oh? Someone doesn’t want any happy accidents, do they?” He teased as he felt the wet latex cover his muscle before pulling you back onto his lap. “Hell no, but if you keep talking to me like that we just might have one.” You cooed before grabbing both sides of his face, his beard feeling rough against your hands but the latex rubbing against your folds only made the space between you two unbearable.

As if you both had the same idea, your lips connected once again as your hands wrapped themselves around his neck pulling him closer. While you were distracted with playing tongue hockey, he took the opportunity to reach below you and position his dick right where it needed to be before pushing in causing a gasp to escape from your lips before a look of satisfaction appeared in your eyes. Drew didn’t want to waste any time and neither did you which is why just as quick as he entered you, you were already moving your hips against his. Drew leaned his seat back slowly while watching the scene unfold in front of him, your hands slowly unraveling from around his neck and making their way to his chest.

Your insides pushed inward towards the latex, tightening around him as gasps of pleasure slipped from you each time his dick pushed against your insides. “You’re a tight one aren’t you, squeezin’ me” he commented in a low hiss while admiring how hard your nipples got, the faint streetlights from the outside crossing over to highlight your nipples perfectly. Your body was like a temple for this man, his hands were all over it but to him everything about you was too perfect to not be touched. The veins in his hand became more prominent as his grip around your breast tightened, his thumbs flickering over your nipples causing your back to arch slightly.

“D-Drew…” you whispered before starting to slam your hips down against his making the friction inside of you increase and the feeling of your insides get warmer. Your pussy was only getting wetter and wetter by the second the more your hips made contact with his and the deeper he pushed into you. Despite this latex being in the way, you wanted all of him, down to the base. “Beautiful and desperate”, he hummed as he kneaded your breasts before pulling you down closer to his chest just enough to have your breast right in his face. His tongue slid over one of your nipples before taking it into his mouth completely while using his other hand to slowly slide around your back and down to your ass before smacking it once causing you to cry out. Without a second thought, Drew suddenly began to thrust upward, his hand staying on your ass for a little stability. But the rougher his thrusts got, the more erotic your face became especially with how deep he was going and you just couldn’t get enough of it.

The sweat droplets that covered his hairy chest, how his hair became messy as strands started sticking to his forehead because of the work he was putting in, as well as how rough his palms were gripping your ass like no tomorrow sent shivers down your spine. “Look at you, how tight this cunt is for me.” His Scottish accent was thick with seduction and need as your moans and his groans filled the car. “Ughnnn! Right t-there!” you screamed out as you rotated your hips against his, matching his thrusts. Your insides being hit in different directions by his cock made it all the more pleasurable, especially when he brushed over that spot causing your body to shudder. “I knew you’d be good for me, you’re exactly where I want you, understand me?” He whispered in your ear before as his hands squeezed your hips leaving imprints from his hands but you were into much bliss to care. As your hips slammed against his and you could feel the latex pushing up against your g spot, you could only throw your head back in pleasure not wanting this feeling to leave. “F-Fuck! D-Drew hit that fucking spot again! I’m gonna c-cum!”

“Oh yeah?” He questioned before taking a fistful of your dreads into his hands before tugging on them. “Show me sweetheart” his accent was thicker and his voice was around one octave lower than normal. That combined with the hair pulling made you go mad as you felt yourself spill all over the latex. “S-Shit! Don’t f-fucking stop!” You pleaded as Drew kept at it, loving the overstimulation, but this gave Drew an idea. “If I stop, it’ll be to give you something better. Still don’t want me to stop?” He spoke lowly into your ear leaving you to make a decision.

As much as you didn’t want him to stop bouncing you, you were curious on what he meant about giving you something better. “Just say the word Y/N” he said holding your hips in place stopping you from rotating them, to where he had full control before rotating them agonizingly slow. “S-Stop”, you muttered before Drew only gave a smirk in response and opened the car pulling you off of him for a quick second before stepping out of the car carefully and bending you over forcing your head into the drivers seat. “That’s much better, look at this view.” He commented before you felt a sharp pain on your right ass cheek causing a moan to erupt from you. It was painful, but it was also pleasurable. But before you could relish in that too much, you felt him enter you again, and surprisingly even though the door was open and technically this was in public, that was the last thing on your mind. As your body jolted forward with each thrust and your legs began to slightly shake, you couldn’t help but let your eyes roll back. As his cock was burying deeper and deeper into your insides, his hands found their way around your throat pulling your head up and making you face him neck exposed and posture compromised, the power dynamic being unmistakable in the way you looked up with a mix of tension and submission.

You could only let out gasps of pleasure completely as your body kept jolting forward from Drew’s hips hitting against yours repeatedly. “Aye, I told you, I’d give you something way better didn’t I?”he cooed as you could only roll your eyes back in response as you felt his cock start to nail your g-spot over and over again causing your legs to tremble as you let yourself go all over him once again. “Mmm! C-Cum i-inside me, give it to m-me p-please!” You begged completely forgetting the fact that he had a condom on.

Drew being the sly man he is didn’t remind you but instead gave a deep chuckle before it turned into a growl as his thrusts became more rough and primal as if he was taking ownership of the body beneath him. The look on his face said it all as his grip around your throat tightened, his fingers made their way into your mouth forcing it open and his hips slammed against your again letting out his seed into the latex inside of you. A drawn out moan accompanied him as he pulled out and slammed back in again causing your legs to give out, he was the only thing holding you up by this point. You were drooling all over his fingers and your body was spent.

After taking some time to catch your breath you could only look at him desperately with pleading eyes. Your hands gripped onto his wrists as his fingers slowly pulled out of your mouth, you could only bite your lip trying to give him a hint at that you weren’t ready to be done.

“You want Round 3 don’t you?”

“Oh definitely but Drew” you cooed. “This time with the condom off”, you whispered before moving your hips back and forth slowly teasing him further.

Oh boy…. ᡣ𐭩

A/N: I don’t know I do this bro…literally screaming and kicking my feet😭😗

A/N #2: Imma be real friend, that Damian one gonna take a minute but I will get to it😭

Divider Credits: @iwonbin & @aquazero

Taglist: @luvrgirl4roman @luvrsluxe @mselenalovebug @punksyeet @binnieaddict @sheaabuttaababyy @empressdede @uceyliyahh

#wwe #fanfic #wwe fanfiction #18+ mdni #smut #wwe fandom #drew mcintyre #drew mcintyre x reader #black reader #soundcloud

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auraisereigh · 5 days ago

Text

"Butterflies and Scars"

chapter twenty- seven

Brennan Sorrengail x Riorson f!reader (Star!) Words: 1.0K Blurb: In the safety of Brennan’s arms, sleep comes without fear—for the first time in too long. As morning fades into evening, warmth lingers between whispered words, healing scars, and a single glowing butterfly. And in the quiet, she finally understands what’s been blooming in her heart all along. ☆ SPOILERS FOR THE EMPYREAN SERIES. Brief mention of past injury, Refrence to nightmares and sleep paralysis, emotional vulnerbility, soft intimacy. A/N: i exist, at last. i've had some the most difficult months behind me and i didn't write much but now i graduated i have more time to figure things out so hopefully things will get better and i'll be able to post regulary again. Habe fun reading this chapter. It's one of my favs <3

Masterlist ☆ Star's story ☆ Support me ☆ Standalones ☆

"I'd prefer to marry for love than for power."

Recovered Correspondece From Miss Riorson, First In Line For The Aretian Duchy to Unknown.

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The night passed peacefully for once. No nightmares. No terrors. Just pure... peace.

I turn in bed, quickly realizing it's not my own.

Oh shit.

Brennan is still asleep, his arm draped across my waist. Just then it hits me—yesterday, Brennan brought me to his room because I was so worn out. I must’ve slept not only through the day but also through the entire night.

My heart skyrockets, and a flush threatens to rise in my cheeks. I turn slightly to get a better look at his face. His arm tightens slightly around me, but he doesn’t wake. He’s still deep in sleep.

My hand gently cups his cheek. Lord, he's so perfect. I trace his jaw, then the soft stubble lining it. Something blooms in my heart—maybe it’s love, finally blooming. A flower bud slowly unfolding, vibrant and fragile, destined to survive storms and sunshine alike.

I tilt my head slightly when I notice a faint line by his collarbone, just a shade lighter than the rest of his skin.

Two fingers gingerly pull down the collar of his shirt, following the scar's path to where it stops over his heart.

I grimace slightly. It's the scar from when my father shot him. It’s mostly healed now—just a patchwork of thin lines where the arrow must’ve broken skin. The deepest marks are still right over his heart.

Before I can think further, a hand catches mine and a small gasp escapes me as Brennan's fingers wrap around mine, gently pulling them away from his shirt.

“You really like poking around, huh?” he murmurs, amusement lacing his sleep-infused voice.

His voice is rough and low, and I swear the sound of it alone makes butterflies stir in my stomach.

The arm that had rested over my waist pulls me a little closer. “Tell me if I’m crossing a line,” he mumbles, his hand flexing lightly against my hip.

“You’re not,” I answer simply.

My hand moves back to his face, and this time I trace the contours of his temple, down to his brow, then along his cheekbone.

“You slept forever. Thought you were going into hibernation,” he teases. His voice is still warm and raspy with sleep, and it makes my magic flutter inside me.

If there’s one thing I’ve always known, it’s that my magic responds to my emotions. Whether that’s by design or just my lack of control, I’ve never really figured out.

“I slept well. No nightmares. No waking up,” I whisper. I’d almost forgotten what peaceful sleep even felt like. There was always something—nightmares, terrors, sometimes even sleep paralysis like that one night Naolin visited. Sleeping through it all felt strangely foreign. I’d gotten so used to the noise. To have none now... it’s a quiet I don’t know how to trust.

His lips curve into a soft smile. He cups my cheek, thumb tracing slow, soothing circles that almost lull me back to sleep.

“Don’t let go,” I whisper, voice raw and vulnerable.

“I won’t,” he murmurs without hesitation.

I dip my head against his chest, and his arms wrap fully around my back.

His warmth. The warmth of his sheets. The scent on his pillow—his scent.

Everything else falls away, and for now, all I want to do is exist. In these arms. With this warmth. Existing without fear, without noise.

This is the kind of quiet I could stay in.

----------

I don’t remember closing my eyes again. It’s the evening sun casting golden light through the window that finally wakes me.

“Good evening, sweetheart,” Brennan’s voice drifts in, sweet and teasing. I blink at him, then groan softly. Sleeping all day? Dreamy. Realizing you probably had things to do? Nightmare.

And this idiot—this sweet, thoughtful idiot—just let me sleep. Like nothing mattered except my peace.

He laughs softly and tugs me back to him. “Don’t worry, Felix stopped by. He knows you’re here.”

I roll onto my stomach and glance at the nightstand besides his bed. “That makes it worse,” I deadpan.

His laugh grows louder. He leans over me, chest brushing mine. “Don’t want to be caught in my bed, is that it?” he teases.

“Meh. That’s not the worst part,” I mutter half-sarcastic.

He presses his temple to mine, and my cheeks go red. My heart hammers in my chest—and for a second, it’s like all I can feel is him.

I feel it before I see it: a red, glowing butterfly fluttering through the room. Tiny, warm, and unmistakably mine. A visible echo of my magic. Of what I’m feeling.

My eyes widen. It’s not like I can stop it—it’ll keep flapping until I calm down.

“That’s yours?” he asks, going still.

“Yep,” I sigh, flopping my head back onto his pillow.

A few moments later I lift my head again. The butterfly, once fluttering, now rests calmly on Brennan’s finger.

I tilt my head. Over the last two months, I’ve had realization after realization about how I feel about him. For a long time, I wasn’t sure—romantic love has always been this confusing, messy thing for me.

But right now… here, like this… I know.

I want this. I want us.

I want a love like the kind I read about in novels. I want him by my side through every storm, every quiet morning. I want to trust him, stay loyal to him, and let him see every piece of me.

I bite my lip softly as I watch the butterfly shift its wings, still perched on his hand.

His chin comes to rest on my head. One arm rests gently beneath my chin. My lips curve up in a quiet, content smile.

I know it now.

I love him.

☆

Taglist: @honethatty12 @smashee0789 @awkardnerd @randomperson1234sblog@bangtanxberm@hyperactive-bookworm-0@littowl@thebreadisthetruevillian@bwormie@freakishfandomfiend@pookalicious-hq@lagrandeourse@that-girl-reading

#brennan x star #brennan sorrengail x reader #xaden riorson x reader #the empyrean #fourth wing #iron flame #onyx storm #brennan sorrengail #fen riorson #emprean story #liam mairi #fourth wing x reader

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ender1821 · 5 months ago

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re: shinyduo/gempearl being so not normal about each other after life series. other anon was so right why are they freaky.

pearl is definitely just as at fault imo. gem’s excellent at innuendos and tone of voice (“your red skin is my favorite~”) but pearl’s yes and filter falls apart in front of gem. the pickles a prime example, and the ren stream disaster wedding of course. she’s also very genuine and i love that for her. but that results in crazy lines like the “love you gem. always will. even if you dont want me, ill still be there.” TO STREAM WHEN GEM WASNT EVEN THERE.

and i need to mention the latest stream. Pearl “I only get asked if im gay when you’re in the picture” and how they both have to take a minute of silence to process that flejelejwkej. whose fault is that pearl? whose fault ?? to her credit she seems genuinely confused by the extent of her actions. the most damning evidence for her straightness i fear. rip gem though, she seems to be having fun anyway.

theyre both professionals and follow up in that stream with how the fandom will always play around with them as characters etc etc. good communication, very healthy, good for them. but this post is about why they graduated from shenanigans and innuendos to 2 hours of fanservice and it doesn’t even feel intentional half the time.

as for next life series, i would be shocked if they didn’t keep up this befuddling yuri bit. theyve mentioned seeing all the tierlist maker dream team posts and pearl had to ask her chat “OTHER than gem, who should I team with” so theyre well aware demand is there. theyre fantastic as enemies and well aware of that, but they could get some scarian level drama by teaming together, and i dont say that lightly. since pearl keeps stalling pvp on hermitcraft, theyre never getting that 1v1 without cosmic intervention or a declaration of love 😭

rambling now. love to hear your thoughts xoxo

yippee i love anon rambles!!! im glad we’re all unwell

im NOT gonna go on another rant about the life series alliance situation because as i’ve just demonstrated yesterday i can literally rant. for hours. and we don’t need that lmao. at this point whether or not they team up in the next one SOMETHING will happen. i have that much faith in them. they’re bound to run into each other and do something and that’s the shiny duo connection speaking god bless

like the other anon said, i do think they can work with just about any dynamic and it’ll be insanity-inducing either way. one of my favourite things about them just as a pairing (in any context, platonic, romantic, etc.) is just the way they will drift towards one another, to be linked in a way that’s indescribable, to always carry a piece of each other with themselves wherever they wander because the influence they’ve had on the other is irrefutable— and okay yeah they’re getting way too freaky about it get out of my fan fiction-esque rant. what are you doing here. why are you like this. what. like there’s something going on when what they’re getting up to creeps more and more into being what i usually read in fics. i. hello???

i really, really want to give them the benefit of the doubt. okay. listen. for every mention of feet and poking at pearl’s straightness, there’s a chat message behind it that warranted it, i’m sure. this isn’t the post to be getting into how fans are with cc boundaries and how we’re STILL bad at figuring our tags out, but i feel like this discussion eventually HAS to touch on the fact that it’s been made clear that they don’t want to see shipping stuff, and bringing it up in chat crosses that boundary just as well. i think they’ve handled it well in acknowledging that they’re aware it’s for their characters, drawing clear lines between what they’re comfortable with and what they’re not, etc. i think just the muddled lines from people continuously bringing stuff from a fandom space up to a cc contributes a lot to why we got. whatever happened on that wednesday stream. honestly, from these instances on stream i think it’s been shown that they just find this stuff amusing, and good for them, y’know? still doesn’t mean we should be regularly poking them about ships and. well. i dunno. literally bringing it up in chat?

but still. BUT STILL. god the ways they “yes, and” each other just keep getting worse. stuff like the pickles and the wedding (and the SL ep 4 ender dragon fight! still one of the most baffling “yes, and”s i’ve ever seen from them, i swear to god) were almost completely just them. that was just them. there’s no blaming chat for gem saying “wait, i don’t have a beard” right after pearl rejects ren for having a beard, and CERTAINLY NOBODY ELSE TO BLAME when pearl takes that and literally proposes to her. that was all them. and why. girl. huh??? i do believe, at least to some extent, that pearl is oblivious to the implications of what she does/says. but that only goes so far. sorry man i can only give so much benefit of the doubt for like 2-3 streams of 2 hour fan service. good lord

i was texting a friend who isn’t into mcyt about this whole. thing. and the way i described it was: imagine being a gempearl shipper, and you’re enjoying life, driving this train with fanfics and fanart and everything’s all good… and then for some reason gem and pearl jump on the train, hijack the conductor seat and starts directing the train elsewhere. nearing the end of that stream i was questioning my life and screaming for a way off this train. that’s how it felt to me. of course i’m exaggerating but like. genuinely how did we get here

#asks #of course take everything i say with a grain of salt. im only one girl ranting about cubitos on tumblr #and. well. i certainly do have a lot of Thoughts about this. and im glad we’re all just losing our minds rambling here #anyway anon i dont know if this was what you expected but i hope you enjoy my incredibly incoherent and rambly thoughts #mcyt #hermitshipping #trafficshipping

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misterbenzadrine · 3 months ago

Text

Demetri's Friendships

mainly with a focus on college but also his friends in general

as always, this is mainly me projecting on dem and just pulling from how i am with my friends

Yas

he and yas have a relationship that, from the outside, seems super weird and probably dysfunctional but they somehow know exactly how to understand each other ?? like yeah yas is sometimes mean to dem and he annoys the shit out of her but like it's all done very affectionately and they both know that

while it's not confirmed in canon where yas is going to school, i'm gonna hc yas as a san diego state university girlie

they meet up every other weekend and facetime once a week

it's unclear to others if they're dating or just friends but yas is a surprisingly clingy person and, when paired with dem's fear of abandonment and general anxiety about the worst-case scenarios, they both spend a lot of time keeping each other grounded

"hey loser, i saw this stupid book from that stupid show you like" = "this mha graphic novel reminded me of you and i thought you'd like it. i miss you"

"i'll have you know it's not a stupid show, it's actually an incredible masterpiece that has a large cultural impact, not that someone as uncultured as you would know" = "i miss you too, thank you for thinking of me"

Hawk

they always have been and always will be the same overly codependent duo that miguel met in the cafeteria

but they know how to balance that out with other aspects of their life now (school, extracurriculars, other friends, "girlfriends", jobs, etc.)

he'd explode if they had to do long-distance. like he would actually turn to dust without hawk. he started crackling when eli said he was going to caltech so demetri immediately applied to caltech to stop the disintegration process

i put this in the tags of some other post but i'll reiterate: demetri is like tinkerbell when it comes to hawk. if hawk's not acknowledging him in some way or in his general proximity, he starts to dim and die

they're not even long-distance in a hypothetical scenario, because it's never happening (demetri's words exactly)

they're roommates throughout college (omg and they were roommates)

they do have their own lives, obvi, but they happen to overlap a lot (incidentally making friends in the same friend group, going to the same campus events, taking a lot of the same classes bc they planned out their degree plans almost identically to each other without realizing it)

they also DOMINATE the robotics program at caltech, everyone knows them

even beyond the robotics program actually. they don't try to isolate themselves like at the beginning of high school but they comfortably become an iconic duo on campus, especially anywhere where there's a game they can win together like at parties and campus events (and they try to keep each other in check so neither one becomes too codependent or too frustrated with being associated with one another)

"oh yeah, you mean demetri and hawk, the robot guys" "ooooh demetri and hawk, the science guys" "yeah yeah, demetri and hawk, the karate guys" "demetri and hawk, that's right, those nerdy party guys"

demetri's not very partial to the parties but he's certainly more comfortable with them knowing hawk isn't gonna dump a drink on his head or ditch him halfway through

hawk's bold personality and demetri's need to yap makes them pretty well known (and also their oddly contradictory yet complimentary personalities)

Sam

when they first started talking/hanging out, demetri was SUPER nervous and awkward ("omg an actual human female is talking to me. not just any girl, SAMANTHA LARUSSO, don't screw it up !!") but he eventually realized he could relax around sam

their main dynamic is being nerdy together and also sam laughing at whatever silly or neurotic things demetri says (which subconsciously clues him into what is/isn't appropriate to say and what he should/shouldn't seriously worry about)

post-graduation, demetri is SUUUUUPER clingy to sam, just spending a lot of time around her and talking out of his ass bc of how nervous he is

he finally breaks before they both leave for school and he reveals he's nervous bc flying is dangerous enough but to the other side of the world??? he lists off all the possible dangers of traveling, traveling alone, being in a foreign country, being in a foreign country ALONE, being a GIRL in a FOREIGN COUNTRY ALONE, etc.

sam tells him it's making her feel more nervous about traveling so he tries to shut himself up bc he knows she wants to be excited about the opportunity (she knows this is a feat for him and is immensely grateful that he cares enough about her to filter himself for her sake)

she initially wonders why demetri puts so much stress into spending time with her and making sure she's safe (especially when he's not really doing the same with anyone else). she learns from hawk that demetri views her as his closest friend other than hawk, basically his best friend/sister, and he acts similarly with hawk and yas but not really anyone else. aaaand if she cries a little after hearing that, no one but hawk can confirm and he'll never tell :3

he ends up stressing OVER and OVER that she can call at any time but he tries to be nonchalant about it. he does retain some dignity by not texting her "ARE YOU OKAY" every five seconds but he does so with a bit (a lot) of anxiety

dem: "should i ask her if she landed safely? no, she'll think i'm too clingy. maybe i should say have a safe flight. but what if that jinxes her flight? and now she'll have an unsafe flight. maybe i'm overthinking this. or what if i'm not thinking about it enough?"

eli: "demetri, this is the last time i'm saying this. shut the FUCK up. she'll be fine."

dem: "but we don't KNOW that, eli. maybe miguel can keep me updated by proxy. that way i don't seem too clingy but i still know she's okay...but what if miguel gets hacked and the hacker lies-"

eli: *throws a pillow at dem's face*

sam understands the "casual" memes he sends at 12am in his time aren't just memes but a check-in, wordlessly asking "hello, are you still alive? you haven't forgotten about me right? you're still safe?"

she sends demetri pictures of the scenery in okinawa bc she knows he appreciates the aesthetic and the confirmation that she's still in one piece

when they see each other in person again, he's immensely awkward and distant trying not to show how much he missed her and worried about her so she makes sure to hug him that much tighter and spend a little more time with him

Robby

demetri and robby's whole friendship is weird, even to the two of them. there's not technically a lot of communication, just a subtle understanding of each other after seeing each other at their lowest (when demetri first joined miyagi-do, during the all-valley, when robby rejoined miyagi-do, during the flagship dojo break-in, when they were competing to go to the sekai taikai, during the actual sekai taikai in barcelona, and when demetri helped train robby for the captain fight)

likely due to robby's time and time again proven ability to look out for himself, demetri is a bit more lax about him flying all over the world (also bc he's traveling with tory and a whole entourage of agents/photographers/security/etc.)

demetri also knows robby isn't the type to text frequently so he keeps his texts a bit more spread out

but ofc, with robby's job, it's not like he's in a shortage of life updates to confirm his friend's well-being

demetri still sends him memes and occasional movie/book recommendations, which robby appreciates since most people only ever want to talk to him about his salary, karate (on a surface level), and brand deals

robby will occasionally send him pictures of random stuff he sees while competing/traveling and just says "you" (one of which is a squashed soda can that looks completely thin and crumpled) (this is exactly his and robby's type of humor)

even tho they don't talk/hang out much, at least nothing with much substance, they're still suuuuper close, which is weird, all things considered. again, they're just vibing so hard, stuck on the same wavelength, that distance and lack of communication can't kill their bond

Moon

their whole dynamic is demetri lowkey insulting her beliefs but still appreciating the intention behind it

"moon i'm not trusting that i'm gonna pass this class bc of a post some fifteen-year-old made on canva about how the stars are aligning tonight if i like and share to my story. i need to study if i want to pass...i guess if you like and share for me, that's fine...thank you, i hope i pass too"

hc her as a uc santa barbara girlie (idk why, i just felt like it) (probs bc that's one of four colleges i know from california)

demetri facetimes her once a week, sometimes he and yas will do a three- or four-way call with her and sam (with eli popping in from demetri's screen occasionally)

she sends him the weekly horoscope (he doesn't put much faith in it but he appreciates the sentiment)

she also keeps track of when he has a test or big event coming up and manifests a positive outcome for him (texting him to let him know each time)

Miguel

demetri jokingly laments over the fact that they could've been "hidden ivy brothers but eli had to ruin it"

he sees miguel pretty frequently compared to his other friends (a few times a semester) when him and eli meet him halfway between their schools either to spend the day in a random city, go to a national park, go to the beach, etc.

miguel takes him and eli around stanford on one trip; he knows demetri did want the hidden ivy experience and appreciates the peek into his life

miyagi-do

just like the other kids, he visits miyagi-do during the summer for a couple years when nate/bert/devon/kenny/anthony are still there. he stops when the whole dojo is full of students he doesn't know anymore but will occasionally see daniel and johnny when he visits with miguel/sam

(oh this made me weep. the passage of time is such a prison. wdym they all grow up as normal adults and don't stay cute little karate kids in the valley forever. if there ever is a reboot, i would love them to capitalize on how depressing this is and emphasize how everyone went their separate ways and didn't stay very close. i love angst !)

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apathetic-revenant · 1 year ago

Text

uh...hi?

[head pokes around corner]

so...

I've been back to scrolling around on tumblr for a bit now, and have been really wanting to get back to actually, y'know. being here. posting. not just sort of hanging here invisibly like a mournful ghost, observing but never interacting. that sort of thing. (revenants, after all, are supposed to be corporeal undead.)

but I really wanted to explain why I just kind of abruptly vanished in the first place. no one demanded this of me, but it felt like something I had to do. and then, in the typical way of self-imposed obstacles, it became a massive stumbling block. partly because of the nerves and emotions attached to it, sure, but mostly, tbh, because it was a Task. I recently (about 3 weeks ago now?) started seeing a new psychiatrist and got an adjustment to my ADHD meds which basically made my brain boot up again for the first time in way too long. this is great! but it means I am having to kind of slowly rehab my brain into getting used to doing Literally Anything again, one small step at a time. I am not being hyperbolic when I say I had to gradually build up my executive functioning for a while just to be able to write a tumblr post.

but fuck it! I really wanted to just do this already. so, while I'm sure I'll talk about all this in more detail later, for right now I'm gonna strip this down to the bare essentials just so I can get it done at all.

here's what happened:

in 2020 I had a sudden onset of extremely severe OCD.

no, not about the pandemic, actually. yeah I was anxious about the pandemic but it was a pretty normal level of anxiety for a global pandemic, honestly. my OCD took the form of scrupulosity--essentially, an obsessive worry about being a bad person.

tumblr is....not a GREAT place to be if you have a sudden obsessive fear of being a bad person.

now, to be clear: tumblr did not CAUSE my OCD, and leaving tumblr did not cure it. that's just not how OCD works. later on, I learned that atypical antipsychotics--one of which I had been prescribed around that time, for depression--have been known to cause OCD. is there any way to prove that that's what happened? probably not, at this point! so I've just been kind of sitting with that terrible knowledge for a while.

anyway. I would've had OCD anyway, but reading a regular stream of posts going "hey, here's a really terrible thing you might be doing! you might even be doing it without knowing it! you need to think really hard and be constantly vigilant all the time for any sign that you might be doing this thing!" was basically pouring gasoline on the fire.

I never made an active decision to leave tumblr--if I had I would've said something first. I just kind of thought "god, I can't do this right now" one day and didn't open the app, which turned into days and then weeks and then months, and still things weren't getting better.

it's hard to express exactly how harrowing that whole experience was. actually I just started thinking about it and realized I would never finish this post tonight if I tried to get into it just now. so I won't. let's just say: It Was Bad.

but, by an astronomical stroke of luck, I ended up getting referred to not just an OCD therapist, not just the only OCD therapist in the state who took Medicaid, but the only OCD therapist in the state who took Medicaid and also she was really good at her job. I genuinely think that woman saved my life.

OCD therapy is one of those "the only way out is through" kind of things. it's brutal and also quite surreal, but it has a high success rate and is very effective. OCD is not a thing that you can cure, per se, but it went from completely dominating every waking moment of my life to being something that I occasionally have to yell at in much the same way as when the cat starts knocking things off my desk at 3 in the morning.

but, the thing was, it took a year-and-a-bit before my therapist and I agreed that I had probably "graduated" as she put it. so, by the time I felt able to go back on tumblr without my brain catching on fire again, it had been so long that I didn't know how to do it. I felt like I'd pulled a major dick move by just dropping off without saying anything. I still thought about it (usually late at night, at Time To Think About Every Regret I've Ever Had O'Clock) but my brain very easily goes to a place of "well, no one would really notice or care that I was gone, and if they did they'd be mad at me for having left."

well. earlier this year I started on the road to getting past that idea. shoutout to @fordtato for helping with that, btw.

but it took me a while to work up the courage and then, as previously mentioned, even longer to work up the neurotransmitters.

I think I gotta wrap this up for now cause I don't have much concentration juice left. but, for what it's worth: I had a lot of emotions, coming back and seeing the names of people I used to talk to all the time. I don't know how you feel about me anymore, but I really missed yall. I would like to talk to you again.

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neodymiumcuilz · 3 months ago

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Hello my friend, please help. We do not have money to buy food and drink. I have young children who do not know the taste of sleep because of the bitter cold caused by the rain. We do not have shelter. Our services are torn. Donate to me, even if it is a little. I ask you to help, my friend 🙏🙏😭

SUPPORT NAZMY AND HIS FAMILY FROM GAZA - URGENT CALL TO ACTION 🍉🍉🍉

Hello everyone, I hope Palestinian lives still matter to you, and I hope you are willing to listen to and help those who are greatly suffering. Their suffering isn't even comprehensible, they live a life we cannot even bear to watch through a screen!

I an reaching you on behalf of @2025nazmy who is reaching out, asking for help. His fundraiser is VERY LOW ON FUNDS and NOT ENOUGH PEOPLE ARE DONATING!! Imagine, you sleep on a cold, damp ground every night for over a year and a half. Imagine constantly fearing death at any second, imagine being surrounded by death everywhere you go. Imagine living without food, or clean water for days on end. This is their reality. He needs our URGENT DONATIONS AND SUPPORT for his children, so they can get to saftey and begin to rebuild their lives.

ONLY €760 RAISED - HE HAS SET A VERY ACHIEVABLE 10K GOAL.

“Hello, I am Nazmy I would like to take just two minutes of your time to share my story with you. I am Nazmy , I live under the constant bombing and aggression . Here we struggle with a life of death and constant loss. We lost the home we lived in, and were displaced more than 10 times from one place to another in search of safety. The truth is that there is no safe place, and we had many ambitions and hopes. I graduated from university and intended to travel, work, and many other things, but the war came and destroyed all of that. We also had a source of livelihood and clothing shops, which were completely destroyed by the occupation and turned into ashes, and we no longer have any final source of livelihood. We also faced difficulty in obtaining food and drinking water, and we suffered from many diseases such as hepatitis, gastroenteritis, and malnutrition due to the lack of a suitable environment for life. Here we live in hunger and fear."

Please, do not ignore his cries, do not ignore his plea, he needs us now and the more we ignore Gaza, the more blood on our hands. Please, I ask you to spare whatever money you may have, your donation is never worthless - no matter the amount. Please support @2025nazmy as his posts get little traction. Thank you.

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hermetiqa · 11 months ago

Text

What advice do you need for your current situation?

Daily Message: 21.08.24

Reminder: it doesn't matter if you saw this reading a day or a week or a month or a year after posting this. My readings are timeless. You'll see this when you're meant to see this and receive your message.

Close your eyes and take a deep breath before picking a pile. If you feel drawn to more than one pile, it's alright, you may take the piles that you're drawn to. What's important is to take it how it resonates and leave what doesn't.

PAID READINGS | TIP JAR | FEEDBACK | MASTERLIST

I'm offering my paid readings so I can save some money for my tuition fees this year, as well as for my checkups (for health problems). Any tips in my Ko-fi would be a huge help for me and would be highly appreciated.

Pile 1

I'm getting some student energy from you here, Pile 1. It's either you're a graduating student or you already graduated. You're thinking and planning to move out of your house/parents' house with someone here, I'm hearing a friend or someone you're in a relationship with. You're planning to move out with them and rent a place together, specifically an apartment. You've been thinking about this a lot and you're willing to take the risk on this one. But I'm getting that you should be patient with this and don't rush it. I'm hearing that you want to start anew here because you might have some bad relationship with your parents and family, and you will, just take things slow and don't act on impulse. Ask for some help from people who were in the same situation as you and now they're happy and stable with their own lives. Make them your inspiration.

Pile 2

So you're thinking of walking away from your relationship. You might have had some conflicts or arguments and for you, it's not working out anymore. This person might be apologizing to you now but you chose to take a break for a while, have a cool off, and reassess the relationship. I can see that you're reassessing this relationship and you're thinking that maybe it really just won't work out, but you still might be hopeful about this. You're trying to heal from all the pain that this person had caused you in this relationship. And now, after reassessing for a while, you're thinking that perhaps it's best if you break up with them. And I'm getting that yes, it is. It's starting to get toxic and unhealthy, it's not good for your well-being. So it's time to start anew on your own. You don't need them in your life anyway. You might still be in some kind of in denial stage, you might be trying to convince yourself that this will still work out, but it won't anymore. You took some break from this relationship to see things clearly, and now you shouldn't gaslight yourself for something that will not happen. Take some time to look back in your life without this person and think how happy you were without them. Go on, start anew without them and heal yourself from what you've been through in this relationship. Don't let this person manipulate you and convince you to give them another chance and they say that they'll change because with all the chances you had given them, they didn't change. This time won't be any different.

Pile 3

You're anxious about the school year coming up. It's so near and this is making you anxious. You might be a transferee student and you're scared that you might not do well in your new school/university, perhaps you're a freshman. Either way, I'm getting that you need to do some advance study now. Set your hobbies aside for a while and include studying in your daily schedule and routine. You're scared that the teachers/professors won't recognize your efforts this year and you need to protect yourself from this feeling. Don't let this fear take over and control the way you manage your day-to-day life. Don't let it hold you back from actually improving and doing your best because you're thinking that it might not be enough. You've already went through a lot here, especially when it comes to your studies, you already learned a lot and you're even done with all the school drama. Now, it's time to get yourself and your life together, welcome this school year with passion and be interested in what you have to learn this year.

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gerec · 11 months ago

Note

any fics which charles has the same vibe as Our House, In The Middle Of Our Street or Paper Monsters, aka fics in which Charles embarrasses himself due to the big crush he has for Erik.

Guys I have one more ask to answer after this one and then I'm officially taking a short break on answering rec posts. But I plan to pin a master post on my blog of the stuff I get asked most frequently for easy reference. Stay tuned and happy reading!!!

-------

Hi Anon, I believe the hilarious/charming fics on this list mostly fit the bill :D

best-laid plans by ikeracity

Charles decides that the best way to confess his feelings to his best friend is to surprise Erik at his apartment, naked, wearing nothing but a bow. It's perhaps one of Charles's worst ideas--or his best.

Order Up by ikeracity

Charles has a terrible habit of multitasking, and that is probably why he absentmindedly tells the pizza man that he loves him when hanging up.

Then the pizza man says it back. And Charles is pretty much smitten from there.

Favorite Mistake by endingthemes

Charles Xavier doesn’t think anything of it when he sneaks out without even saying goodbye to his latest one-night stand. What he doesn’t expect is to walk into his new position in the Xavier Industries marketing department and find that his latest hook-up is now his new boss.

erikhotfacelehnsherr by ikeracity

Charles has an embarrassing wifi password. When the subject of said embarrassing wifi password comes over, things get a little awkward.

going up? by annejumps

Charles encounters a hot man in the elevator. Charles assumes he doesn't understand English. Charles might be wrong.

Never Assume (Remix of going up?) by Fullmetalcarer

Charles fixates on a devastingly attractive lizard person who shares his turbo-lift and makes certain assumptions about their linguistic skills . . .

come as you are by scarlettblush

Hospital AU. The one where Charles unknowingly woos a coma patient with Pride and Prejudice. Years later, they meet again.

What Doesn't Kill You (Tactics and Strategy Remix) by pearl_o (don't forget to read the original!)

Charles is a graduate student with a crush on the professor he's TA-ing for and a side job at a strip club. Thankfully, his little sister is always full of helpful advice.

Smoke and Mirrors by dreamweavers

When newly paralysed Charles meets Erik in a coffee shop, a fit of nerves prompts him to project himself standing without need of his wheelchair. It all backfires when Erik asks him out on a date, forcing Charles to deepen his lies and, ultimately, face his fears.

Warning: Emergency Pull Tab by ikeracity

Knocking a guy over with an inflatable pool and nearly giving him a concussion is probably not the best flirting technique in the world, but if there's anyone who can pull it off, it's Charles.

Is it Erik with a C or a K? by ikeracity, kageillusionz

When Charles sexts his boss instead of his latest squeeze during one late night of report writing, the first thing he expects is a sexual harassment law suit and the last thing is Mr. Lehnsherr actually fucking him hard into his desk.

Infamous Ink by ConsultingWriter

Charles has an embarrassing tattoo and a date with the no-nonsense, always professional, and terribly handsome Erik Lehnsherr.

The Wurst Case Scenario by sareyen

If anyone asked why Charles, come rain, wind or shine, made the significant trek during his dismal lunch hour to dine at "Edie's Kosher Delicatessen", he would stubbornly say that it was because their pastrami on rye and potato knishes were absolutely to die for. He wasn't completely lying, because the deli's namesake, Edie Lehnsherr, made the best matzah ball soup Charles has ever had in his life. Still, Charles would rather shave his full head of hair off than admit that the real reason he would willingly walk through hail and fire to get to the corner deli was because of Erik, the insanely attractive man working the counter.

#gerec rambles #cherik #charles crushing on erik #gerec's fic rec #fic rec

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pinchinschlimbah · 1 year ago

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On "Coming Out" and Noel Fielding

I mentioned forever ago that I had this post in mind and then never got around to it, but now with the new interview quote I was yelling about recently it feels like a particularly good time to get it out of my brain and onto the page! tl;dr: musings on the concept of "coming out" as it has evolved over time, whether it's something that should continue to be necessary or expected of queer people, and why Noel is particularly inspirational to me in that regard since this is, after all, my brainrot blog. This may be extremely long and a bit disjointed but I hope some of y'all will enjoy it!

So a while ago myself and several friends were discussing the concept of coming out. All of us are some flavor of queer both in gender and orientation, but each is in a different place along their self discovery and identity journey, with some being long since out and proud, and others just starting to dip their toes into exploration past the expected cishet.

This discussion actually was prompted by a different discussion about Noel, spurred by comments we'd come across slamming him as being homophobic/transphobic on Bakeoff for making comments suggesting he has romantic or sexual attraction towards Paul, referring to himself with female-centric terms, playing female characters in the skits, and a particular moment where he brings up Old Gregg while talking to KimJoy and says "he was a sea transsexual....quite a demanding role for me" while laughing to indicate that that last part was said in jest. Hey fellas, is it homophobic/transphobic to be a little bit gay and trans? This got us talking about how the current culture of queer identity has evolved to the point where "coming out" feels more like something the public feels they're owed in order for them to view one's expression as valid, rather than its original purpose as something one does for themself in order to live most authentically. I don't think I need to go into detail about how many artists have been harassed by their "fans" into coming out before they were ready because people wouldn't accept the validity of that person's work without knowing exactly how that person identified, there've been plenty of articles and video essays and better written tumblr posts about that, but it's definitely a concerning trend. It can be particularly dangerous when it comes to people who aren't feeling confident or safe enough to come out, who end up being criticized and shunned by the queer community as being somehow problematic for not being able to fully articulate to a group of strangers the ways in which they're experiencing their identity. In this situation, the people who are struggling the most end up with the least support. Forcing people to either declare an identity or get out just leads to more people staying closeted out of fear of doing it "wrong" and never getting the chance to explore the most authentic and joyful versions of themselves, or even worse, feeling the need to out themselves before they're in a safe place to do so and suffering the resulting consequences. Questioning or cautious people deserve space in the community to experiment even if they haven't yet or maybe never will come out! My high school's Gay Straight Alliance was comprised entirely of "straight allies" when I was there. There was not a single "out" person in the school at the time. Nearly all of us in the GSA ended up being some flavor of queer or trans years later after graduation. But whether it was intentional closeting or just feeling an innate affinity towards something we couldn't quite pinpoint at the time, we all knew we belonged there and made that space for ourselves and others like us. Back when "coming out" first became a concept in the public consciousness, it was during a time where cishet identity was not just considered the default, but the only option. By coming out, queer people were giving genuinely revolutionary representation for themselves and others like them by telling the world that, as the old saying goes, we're here, we're queer, get used to it! Nowadays, we're lucky to live in a culture that is much more cognizant of queer identities being a thing, so in many cases coming out has become less about having to explain to those around you the basic concept of queerness existing, and moreso about which specific identity you fall under, and that's where things get messy.

My friends and I shared our own thoughts and experiences. One is currently identifying as "unlabeled" because they haven't found a term that feels correct yet, and therefore hasn't come out because they wouldn't know what to say. One spoke about how when they first came out they were much more insistent on what terms or pronouns people used for them but as time has gone on they've grown to find joy in being inscrutable and letting others wonder what they're perceiving. One expressed that given the state of the world they've been retreating somewhat back into the closet for safety reasons rather than being super outward with their queerness like they used to and is working on learning to embrace those parts of themself again. One said they felt like they'd already been existing as queer and expressing that queerness "before I even had the terms to come out to myself" and is now working on catching up on the conscious end of figuring out what's what. I myself never really had an official "coming out", I just became increasingly visually/socially/vocally queer as I became more and more confident in who I was and what I wanted to be and who I had on some level always been, and decided if people didn't get the hint that's their own problem. I came into consciousness of my queerness during the early 2010s original tumblr MOGAI microlabel boom, where there was a ton of focus on figuring out the hyper specific identity labels that exactly described what you were experiencing. I did a lot of digging and soul searching and experienced a lot of unnecessary stress trying and failing to find my perfect labels and landed on clumsy terms like "full time drag queen" because it was the closest I could get to what I was feeling about my gender, only to be told it was problematic for me to call myself that as an AFAB person because drag "belongs to cis gay men" (don't get me started on that statement, that's a whole other essay lol) It was a real wake up call once I distanced from these aggressively labeled and segmented online spaces and made my way into real world queer communities where I was relieved to find that in fact no one there asks to check your membership card before letting you in, if you feel like you belong there you're welcome no questions asked.

I had other people in these communities referring to me as "queer" and "fag" and "gay" and "queen" before I felt comfortable doing so myself based on online Discourse I'd experienced over who is Allowed to use certain terms, and having these community leaders I respected recognizing those things in me and welcoming me in like that gave me the confidence to really find my own footing in ways that attempting to find my exact correct identity label so that I could officially proclaim it never did. Once I could answer the question of what I was with a shrug and "queer I guess!" things became so much easier. Microlabels can be incredibly helpful and liberating for some, don't get me wrong if it works for you that's great, but let's not pretend that everyone is going to have the same experiences.

So anyway, back to Noel. Noel has never, to my knowledge, ever had any sort of official “coming out” or explicitly referred to himself as queer. So I know there are people out there who will disagree with me considering him to be queer. But so much of what he’s said and done throughout his several decades long career has indicated to me that this is clearly someone of queer experience navigating the world as such, and just as the queers in my local community welcomed me as one of them before I knew to do it myself, I extend that welcome forward.

Let’s take a look at some of the facts. In the public span of his career, Noel has.....(in no particular order, also if anyone wants to add additional instances of note in the reblogs or comments please feel free, this is by no means a fully comprehensive list) -repeatedly called himself "the woman of the Boosh" or Julian's/Howard's "wife" in ways that suggest that's how he actually felt about it rather than it just being a punchline that he was mistaken for female in the show [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] -referred to himself at the GQ "Man of the Year" awards as "never been a man" and "a sort of girl, he/she" -been referred to by Sandi Toksvig as being "on the cusp" in regards to gender, to which he reacts with amusement and acceptance -consistently expressed excitement and appreciation when others refer to him with feminine terms or say he looks like a girl [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] -said "I love being a man-woman, it's much more interesting than being one or the other" and expressed that the loved shooting the Boosh Electro episode for this reason -referred to Vince Noir (a character who he's been pretty open about being based on himself) as "wasn't seemingly one gender or the other" -expressed that he felt most free and happy when presenting femininely [2] -had Julian, one of the people closest to him, express that Noel and Sandi (an out lesbian) may have "real sexual chemistry" because Noel is "all over the shop, he's a different sex" -used the "Confuser" line of "Is it a boy? Is it a girl? I'm not sure I mind" to refer to himself rather than Vince, and express that he's had to work to find new ways to feel as androgynous as he'd like now that he's older -referred to himself as a lesbian [2] -said that he "sometimes looks in the mirror and sees a woman", in the same interview that Julian implies that Noel is in fact a girl -referred to himself as a "girl/boy" -consistently referred to himself with feminine terms on panel shows and bakeoff -made a joke on bakeoff about not being a testosterone-based person -responded positively when asked about the ways Boosh had influenced queer and nonbinary youth -has said he's "quite obsessed with the man/woman mixup thing" -has said if he was an animal he'd want to be a seahorse because the males get pregnant -Had Lee Mack, who Noel used to live with, refer to him as "the little transsexual one, yeah I think she's fantastic" in a Boosh documentary and "a young lady who came out here happy to be herself" in response to Noel's Wuthering Heights drag performance -had his own mother refer to him as "the daughter I always wanted" -described his own appearance as that of a "transsexual witch" and when an interviewer attempted to make fun of him for calling himself "a transgender witch" by showing Noel a drawing the interviewer clearly found repulsive, Noel responded that the interviewer was "holding up a mirror" and called the image his passport photo

And I'm not even going to bother citing sources on the countless times he's made comments suggesting romantic or sexual attraction towards men. Literally just watch any non-character appearance he's ever done, it's kind of his whole thing??? Not to mention his penchant for picking up explicitly queer and gnc character roles, and also just [gestures vaguely to everything Noel and Julian have said about each other suggesting romantic and sexual tension between them and how they used their characters as an excuse to explore those feelings in a less scary way, again that could be a whole other essay on its own but ooh boy] I also think there's something interesting to explore in the idea of Noel repeatedly referring to his appearance as transgender or transsexual rather than identifying himself as such- at what point does the appearance of something become reality?

It all begs the question- is it even a joke anymore if it's that consistent? Either it's not a joke and it's an authentic expression of his real feelings and experiences, or he for some reason really really wants everyone to believe that he's queer when he's not, with this behavior spanning back to a time before the concept of queerbaiting was on anyone's minds and when being publicly queer could mean the end of your career. Which scenario do you think is more likely? And, does someone who’s been conducting themself like this for their entire career really NEED to come out? Honestly, I find this level of simultaneous authenticity and inscrutability aspirational.

In this Velvet Onion interview from 2012, Noel compares his penchant for dresses to both Grayson Perry and Eddie Izzard. This is interesting because those two people represent pretty opposite intentions behind their presentation- Grayson identifies solidly as cis male, and for him the shock value of crossdressing is the point, saying “I signed up for a gender and I want them to be very clearly delineated so I know I’m dressing up in the wrong clothes.” This doesn't seem particularly in line with where Noel is coming from given him famously referring to himself as "the Confuser" and stating in that same Velvet Onion interview that he "never even bothered giving it a label, I never went oh I'm a transvestite, I just went yeah if I fancy wearing a dress I do, never really thought about it really" Eddie on the other hand has famously said "They're not women's clothes. They're my clothes, I bought them." indicating that they were a genuine part of her authentic expression rather than a crossdressing costume, and has subsequently over the years identified more and more solidly as transfemme. I find Eddie's trajectory particularly fascinating because it's been so non-linear. In the 90s when the language for transness was much less public knowledge, she referred to herself consistently as a transvestite- a cishet man who enjoyed dressing as a woman, as well as using terms like "male tomboy" and "male lesbian" and "a full boy plus extra girl". Despite doing most of her standup shows in femme looks, most of her acting jobs were male-presenting, and there was a period of time in the 2010s where she dropped the femme presentation entirely in an attempt to be taken more seriously as the "crossdressing" was seen by many as a gimmick. Swinging back around more recently, Eddie has been explicitly identifying as genderfluid and transfemme, and in recent years has made the decision to "be based in girl mode from now on", and use primarily she/her pronouns. Since this announcement, in her trans advocacy work Eddie has described herself as being "out" as trans since the 1980s despite all of the above. She always knew who she was, it's just she's gotten access to more accurate terms over time to describe what she was experiencing, as well as feeling more safe to do so the more that transness became a known and accepted concept in the public eye.

The interview I mentioned at the very start of this post isn't really a coming out from Noel. And I don't think we'll ever really get one from him. In my opinion Noel has spent the past several decades conducting himself as someone who is in fact already out- it’s pretty clear Noel knows and is proud of who he is regardless of how he chooses to describe that identity. At this point, making some sort of official statement would just be for the benefit of others looking for clarification on their own perception of him and people who want to be able to put him in one box or another, and that’s not what coming out should be. The statement in the new interview is not "I am genderfluid", its "I've always been genderfluid", simply putting an accurate name to what's always been publicly visibly true now that he's got the terms to do so.

#noel fielding #gender files #gender files masterpost #gay yelling #the mighty boosh #shouts into void #a lot of this could also apply to my other wife #but that discussion is way more of a minefield so I'm not touching that for now plus many more people already have

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reel-fear · 7 months ago

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There Are People Who Need Your Help!

Now more than ever we must show those who are feeling hopeless and helpless, that they will make it through all this pain and sorrow! Any money you can give to these people gives them hope that they will survive this! Please consider giving anything you can to those in need.

Below are people who have messaged me or sent me asks begging for help. I don't have money to give, but I have my voice to use to spread the word to those who can help them. You can also help just by reblogging, sharing and spreading this post! Now more than ever, our voices matter!

Yasmine Ziad has a family of 8 whose campaign is very low on funds. Please donate! It could give their children and family the hope they desperately need right now!

Hilda is fighting for the lives of her family of 10 for them to flee from their destroyed home and to a better place! They need a lot more money to be able to escape and any of your money gets them closer to safety!

Hamdi is a father of 4 with a family of 6, they are trying to rebuild their lives! Help them out of debt so they may provide for their kids!

Marah's family has very few donations so far. She wishes to get her family to safety before their struggles bring about their deaths. Her parents are already fighting for their lives against their own health and if they do not get help it could mean their end.

Jaber AlHaj and his wife, Muna, need the money to flee to safety, to be able to rebuild their lives alongside his brother and make a good future for their 2 year old son Hashem! Your donation could save their lives!

Shima, a mother of three, needs money to get her children to safety and rebuild their lives after their house was destroyed. Please consider sending them anything you can to help make sure they survive what they're going through!

Falastin needs way more money than they have right now to be able to save their family of 24 from the danger that's come to their home! Including a 9 month year old daughter! Anything you can give them means a lot!

Ali's campaign is very low on funds, which he needs desperately to get his family to safety! After trying their best to find any kind of safety refuge or shelter, everything still remains bleak. Please help them survive this terrible struggle!

Sami Hamad, Amna Hamad, and Ayham Hamad are a family of 3 living in Khan Yunis, Gaza in need of aid to raise funds to evacuate. Surviving death and fleeing to Egypt is the family's goal. Please help them leave this horrible situation!

Majed and their family of 5 need help rebuilding their lives after moving out of the wreckage of their home in Gaza. Anything you can give them helps!

Aya and their family of 8 needs help to get to safety. Any money you give them means their survival becomes that much more likely! Including the young Bassam who is only 3 years old. Please do what you can for them!

Anas Basil, a recent high school graduate with dreams of pursuing a degree in e-business management and building a career. Needs help to get his family to safety! His younger brother Ahmad, is 14 years old, please help them leave their bad situation!

Ghada needs help to get their family to safety! They need all the help they can get right now to be able to survive what they are going through. Six children are relying on this money to survive so please give them anything you can!

Ola Ferwana is a mother of 3 kids who need more donations to be able to survive! Help them see their father again, they need all the help they can get right now. Let their newborn see a world without war or fear of death.

Ahmed & Hadeel need money to be able to rebuild their lives and survive what they are going through! Please help this couple get out of the situation they're in.

Fayez Al-Kafarna needs money to be able to save the life of his child after losing so much to the horrible things happening in their home. Please help his family see a world without war or fear one day! They are close to their goal!

Help Mohammed and Diana get their two young daughters to safety! They are doing their best but right now they are still in a dangerous area. Please help these young girls and their parents see another day!

Hanan Mahmoud needs more donations to get her children to safety! Help her new child see a world where they do not have to be fearful every day that they will die for just being born!

Shorouq, a mother of three children: Qusai, 7 years old, Eileen, 5 years old, and Hisham, who is nearing his second birthday, needs money to get her family to safety! Please help save their lives so they can see a world not ruled by fear and violence!

Mohammed and his five children, who are enduring the severe hardships of the conflict in Gaza, need help to get to safety! They have almost reached their goal so any money you give could be the money that finally lets them see a peaceful home again!

Saeed is a 19 year old trying to flee to safety with their family. They are fighting to save the lives of their father, mother, brothers, sisters and nephews. Please help them survive!

#free gaza #free palestine #mutual aid #gaza genocide #gazaunderattack #gaza aid #gofundme #aid #palestine fundraisers #everyone who didnt make it into this post sorry but I promise to do more posts like this in the future!#masterpost #gfm #go fund them #go fund me #fundraiser

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siravalondulac · 1 month ago

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this is what i tell the world at the end, full of pride [part one of three] | j. snow x fem!oc

part 6⅓ of the modern!holiday au

summary: pride month, jon realises, is the perfect opportunity to discover some things about himself.

contents: modern au, pride month, smut (sex toys, cunnilingus, non-graphic mentions of other stuff), kink discussion

words: 3412

author's note: HAPPY PRIDE EVERYONE!! i will post four chapters of the modern au this month because i am insane and mentally unwell and my only source of happiness are jon and cerelle. new chapters every friday, so mark your calenders

tag list: @sunraysoverthevalley @idohknow @sammybirdseed

masterlist

previous | next

Guinevere hates him.

Cerelle tells him he should not be too disappointed by it, because apparently she dislikes everyone besides her. Which is understandable - he loves his girlfriend as well - but it means he is involved in a silent stare-off every time he sits beside Cerelle on her couch or sleeps beside her in her bed.

His girlfriend thinks it’s funny.

He takes this as his reminder as to why he doesn’t like cats.

It's a small price to pay, all things considered, for being able to spend time with his girlfriend. He still has to work insane hours at the car shop, but at least now he has something to look forward to during the day. Whether that is him sleeping at her place, Cerelle at his, or simply a one hour phone call before they go to sleep.

Now that his apprenticeship is official, he tries to get back into studying. He has never had much trouble with it, but just to be safe.

His girlfriend - he always smiles when even thinking the word - offers her help readily. She hands him some of the texts she has to read for university, then quizzes him on them. She makes him write a letter to his mum to get his hand used to the feeling again, and even buys him a training book on accounting.

“Do I really need that? I'm becoming a mechanic, not a secretary.”

“Accounting is a mandatory course in every trade school. Once you graduate, you'll be allowed to open your own shop, and they want to make sure you can handle the business side of it as well.”

He does appreciate her for it, even if he tries to be grumpy.

At least he isn't studying law, because the mountains of books Cerelle brings home every day genuinely frighten him. She often sits until long after sunset at her dinner table to write papers and assignments, every day a new one it seems, and frequently despairs over them.

One night, when she was close to throwing her laptop across the room, he had picked her up, laid her down on the table, and eaten her out until the only word spilling across her lips was his name.

She repaid him a few days afterwards, of course.

Through all those weeks with her, he has slowly started feeling… not just happier, but stronger and more energetic as well. He wants to blame it squarely on Cerelle's presence, yet he knows it's the food.

The past few years, all he ever had to eat were a bit of bread in the morning and then pasta with nothing for dinner. He couldn't afford more, and even still most of the money from the car shop goes into paying off his outstanding rent, leaving him with so little at the end of the month.

But now he spends a lot of time at his girlfriend’s apartment, where she has given him access to her entire kitchen and pantry. Whenever he feels hungry, he can simply open the fridge and take something out of it without the fear of wasting anything. It's a luxury he thought he would never again be afforded to have.

He doesn't take anything with him, despite how tempting it looks, despite how much his eerily empty cabinets haunt him. The exception is when Cerelle and him make dinner together - then she forces the leftovers into his hands, no argument allowed.

He can tell seeing his situation hurts her. Knowing she could solve all his problems with a simple snap of her fingers must eat her up from the inside. But she holds back.

Maybe she simply doesn't want him to become dependent on her. Maybe there is still this simmering fear in her that he is only with her for her money. Maybe she is embarrassed of what she has.

He doesn't mind, yet also cannot seem to find a way to tell her that.

A funny side-effect of him eating more is that he now lasts longer in bed. He can fuck Cerelle longer without the constant, desperate need to cum, he can properly slam into her without being out of breath after only a few minutes, and he can eat her out until she almost falls unconscious from the amount of times he makes her peak - all without taking a break.

She clearly appreciates it.

Yet what she seemingly appreciates more is that his body is filling out, if slowly. Wider arms, broader chest, stronger legs - she cuddles into him each night they are together, her fingers gently tracing his naked skin.

He once expresses concern he will grow fat if she continues to feed him so much, upon which she chuckles and asks if that would be so terrible.

“I will love you no matter what you look like, but if you are truly so concerned you are free to use my gym.”

Because of course she has a gym in her apartment.

He says apartment.

What he means is an entire abandoned factory Cerelle has bought and converted into her home.

The ground floor is almost empty, merely housing a car, her motorcycle, and a bike, but it’s clean and not giving away anything about the place’s owner.

The first floor is where everything else is located - from her bedroom and kitchen to a giant walk-in closet and a library. Standing on the inside, one would never assume what this place originally was.

Cerelle was quite proud of it when she had first showed him around, excitedly telling him of every renovation she had done herself, every improvement to the building's layout, every room she had furnished herself. She even had an elevator installed in an effort to make the building wheelchair accessible. When asked why, that she herself doesn't need it and never invites anyone over that could need it (beside her mother and grandfather, he is the only other person that knows where she lives), she responded, “But what if I do need it someday? What if I do invite someone over someday that will need it? Best to be prepared than be forced to make crappy and hasty additions later on.”

She still sometimes drops random fun facts about her home throughout the day. He always smiles hearing them.

All this is why he still calls it her apartment - house does not quite fit, and factory is too demeaning. And all this is also why he grows a bit concerned when she puts up a rainbow flag outside of her window at the beginning of June.

“Won’t people get suspicious?”

“I’ve been doing it ever since I moved in here,” she answers with a smile. “It’s also pretty clear this place is not vacant. And if I can make even one person feel more secure in their identity, then it was worth it.”

“So you’re not…”

“No, I am. I’m pansexual. Sorry for never mentioning it.”

He tries not to look too confused, yet clearly doesn’t manage.

“Sorry,” she chuckles. “It means I am attracted to people regardless of gender. It's similar to bisexuality.”

“So you're attracted to everyone.”

This time she laughs out loud, yet it's not mean or demeaning. “No, not everyone. I have my types as well, otherwise I would have never fallen in love with you. It's more that I can theoretically fall in love with anyone.”

He watches the flag outside wave in the wind. “How did you… How did you find out? That you're pansexual.”

“I think… I was confused my whole life. The environment I grew up in had strict ideas of what was right and what was wrong, what was acceptable to be. So I never realised my attraction to girls for what it was until I was older, and far removed from my past for the first time. And when I read about pansexuality for the first time, it felt right. It felt like me. It felt as if I finally had an answer to the question that has been following me all my life.”

He considers her words on the bus ride home.

It does not bother him that she has had female lovers in the past - she is his girlfriend now, and just because she is theoretically attracted to one hundred per cent of the human population instead of fifty doesn't make him more insecure in their relationship.

No, it’s something different.

What she said… He has felt that as well.

Not to this extent, of course, and he is sure that had he ever come out as gay his mum would have been fiercely supportive - not that he would have, he is quite clearly attracted to women, Cerelle herself is proof of that - but…

There may have been one or two boys in middle or high school that he had looked at for longer than usual. That he had found prettier than any of the girls around him. That he had never dared talk to for reasons he never figured out.

Perhaps… Perhaps there had been something more to those moments. Perhaps he had not simply been shy or awkward or jealous, as he had forced himself to believe back then, but had rather been attracted to them.

It would certainly explain a lot.

And yet… He doesn’t want to agonize endlessly over this. If he begins going down this rabbit hole he knows his anxiety will never allow him to reemerge. So as he enters his apartment and closes the door behind himself, he makes something to himself very clear: Yes, there is a chance he is attracted to men. But he has Cerelle right now - the most beautiful, wonderful girlfriend he could have ever wished for - and as long as this relationship still stands, as long as he has a future with her, there is no need to think about someone else. Even if that someone else is a mere hypothetical.

He has all he needs. And that is enough for now.

“We should probably talk about our kinks at one point.”

He almost flushes as red as a tomato in an instant, and wants nothing more than to hide his face in the colourful couch cushions around him. Somehow, even after over a month into this relationship, he is still taken off guard by how easily Cerelle is able to talk about sex and intimacy. She treats it as if it is the most normal thing in the world - as if she is talking about the weather. It’s… admirable, in a sense.

“Uh, yeah. I- Uh-” He shuts his mouth as soon as he realises he is stammering, swallows, and takes a breath. “How would… we do that?”

She smiles, and shifts on the couch so she can look at him better. “Well, start by telling me your kinks.”

“I don't have any,” he says quietly.

“None?” She laughs. “Somehow, I refuse to believe that. But alright, then at least tell me what you like and dislike about sex.”

He takes another deep breath, and tells himself to remain calm.

“I- I like when I'm able to look into your eyes. I like touching you and feeling close to you and kissing you as we do it. I like how you fall apart for me when I go down on you. And I like the time afterwards, when we are both exhausted and fall asleep in each other's arms.” He considers whether to even say this next thing, yet eventually adds, “I also like when you go down on me as well. It's- It feels different.”

She grins. “I'm really good at it, am I?”

He nods, and almost lets out a sigh of relief. For some reason he still feels guilty whenever he asks her for a blowjob, still faintly hearing Ygritte’s voice in his head about how demeaning it is for a woman. But Cerelle doesn't seem to mind - in fact, she seems to revel in making him fall apart this way.

“Now you,” he says. “What do you like?”

“I like being able to ride you when I'm sitting in your lap. I like being able to make you moan and whine and squirm. I like when you take complete care of me and refuse to let me raise even a finger. I liked that time you ate me out in the shower. I like when I'm able to show I love you, and have you immediately reciprocate.”

He wonders how much of what she likes comes from years and years of experience, and how much she has gained because of him. Because she was able to be vulnerable with him.

“Now for your dislikes,” she says.

Previously, he would have never dared express his displeasure with anything, too scared of offending someone or ruining his relationship with them. But with Cerelle, the words roll off his tongue without much trouble.

“I don't like being taken advantage of, or being taken for granted. I don't like if my body is simply being used as if I don't exist.”

His girlfriend's smile turns so incredibly sad, he wishes he had never said a thing.

“Now you.”

Her lip trembles. “Don't leave any lasting marks. Hickeys are okay, as well as small bites, but nothing else. And don't start sexual acts unless we've talked about them before, and you know for absolute certain I am okay with them.”

He nods. What else is there to do in such a situation? What else is there possibly to say?

They talk for what feels like an eternity after that. Not just about sex and kinks - he apparently likes being praised, she tells him - but about everything surrounding those topics as well. Places they are okay with intimacy, what kind of intimacy in which situations, love languages, safe words.

She tells him her periods are very irregular, so not to get concerned when they have sex seemingly every day for a month without a problem, but that they almost tear her apart in pain and agony when they do come.

She has also tried half a dozen types of birth control and contraceptives, and her body tolerated none of them.

“I fear we have to use condoms until the end of time.”

“That's alright,” he says. “I don't mind them.”

Still, she promises to buy them with her own money so he can spend his on rent and utilities.

They agree to get tested for STDs, just to be safe. They hand each other spare keys to their apartments. They are both allowed to put the other down as their emergency contact should they ever be admitted to the hospital (considering his mum lives on the other end of the country and her parents are always busy).

“We didn't talk about toys.”

“What?”

“Toys. Sex Toys. Are you alright using them during sex?”

He had been glad over the slow change in topic - shifting from bedroom talk to general intimacy to actual important health questions - because it allowed him to get his boner at least a little under control. But this-

“M- Maybe? I think.”

“Are there any you do not want to use at all?”

“I don't even know all the kinds there are.”

“That's alright.” She smiles and reaches out her hand. “Come, I'll show you what I have.”

His girlfriend guides him towards her bedroom, stops in front of the cupboard, and opens one of the drawers. Inside are, neatly lined up, things of several different shapes and sizes. Some, like the dildos, he recognises, and most other things he is able to guess their use of, like the vibrators and the long silken bands that are either blindfolds or restraints.

“I don't really have a lot.” Cerelle's fingers trace the lines of his hand. “But if you ever think of anything else you'd like to try, I can of course buy it.”

The mere sight of whatever is before him is already heating up his cheeks - how would he ever be able to request his girlfriend for more?

“You can ask if you have any questions,” she says. “Or if you don’t recognise something.”

He takes a deep breath, reminds himself he loves his girlfriend and she him, and that neither would ever laugh at the other.

“What are these?” He points at something, not really quite brave enough to pick them up.

"These are butt plugs. Two of them are able to vibrate.”

“Why?”

“Because it's pleasurable.” She chuckles. “Trust me, you will never cum quicker than when you and your partner both wear these. We can try it, if you're ever up for it.”

“So you…” He takes a breath, and reminds himself he is grateful his girlfriend is making him jump over his own shadow so often. It's what he needs. “So you enjoy anal? I heard it's only really something for men.”

“Anal can be enjoyable for anyone, if you know what you're doing, and use enough lube of course. And that applies to people of all genders.” She grins as she adds with a slightly lowered voice, “So if you’re ever in the mood for it, be my guest.”

His breath hitches, her words sending even more blood down to his rock-hard dick.

“And what's that?”

“That's a strap. It's so I am able to fuck you.”

She smiles so brightly he cannot help but grow jealous of the previous people she has experienced all these things with, no matter how wild what she just said was.

“How?” He almost chokes on the word.

“I mount one of these dildos to it and strap it to my waist. And then I lay you down on the mattress and take you as slowly and gently as if you were a fair maiden.” She smiles at seeing his face. “Don't worry, my love. If you don't feel up for it we never, ever have to do it.”

To have his girlfriend kneel above him, cradling his face as she thrusts into him deeper and deeper-

“Show me how to use this.”

He presses one of the vibrators into her hands.

For the shortest moment, she looks confused. “On myself?”

He quickly nods. “Show me what you do when I am not around.”

His girlfriend grins, presses a kiss to the back of his hand, and quickly lets her skirt and underwear drop to the ground before sitting down on the edge of her bed.

It’s not all too different from when he is pleasuring her (either with his tongue, fingers, or dick). She still gasps at first contact, her lips still tremble the longer it goes on, she still drops her head back and bears her throat to him. Only the buzzing of the vibrator pressing against her clit is different.

She is cute like this. Captivating, the way she tries to fight so hard against falling apart before him. Even if she so perfectly knows what she is doing. Both to herself, and to him.

He just stands by the still open cupboard, doing little but staring at his perfect girlfriend pleasuring herself in front of him, all the while he desperately tries to ignore his weeping cock.

Cerelle looks at him suddenly, her blue eyes burning like fire. Then a nasty moan takes hold of her and she falls backward onto the mattress, baring herself to him.

And something about that sight - her juices trickling down her cunt and dropping onto the mattress - rips him out of his trance. He falls to the ground before her, hastily pushes the vibrator away, and latches his lips to her clit.

She doesn't last long afterwards. Her back arches off the bed as her legs clamp around his head, pressing his face further into her and forcing him to swallow all she gives him.

He likes it. Is thankful for it. Yearns to never have to leave.

They kiss like two people starving afterwards, all tongue and teeth and desperation seeping into their embrace. But when her fingers are about to close around the bulge in his pants, he quickly takes ahold of her wrist.

“Don't even think about it, my love,” he whispers against her mouth. “I still owe you two after this, I don't want to make it three again.”

He feels her grin against his lips. “I'll simply use the vibrator on you next time. You will never be able to repay what I do to you then.”

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author's note: bi jon is canon in every universe send tweet

#jon snow x oc #jon snow #jon snow smut #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #game of thrones #asoiaf fanfic #game of thrones fanfic #asoiaf oc #game of thrones oc #fic: stars above songs below #fic: sasb holiday au #oc: cerelle baratheon #asoiaf x oc #game of thrones x oc

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