#i can look past his failings for that
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the potential of thiam but the average fic quality is really bad due to their fanbase being so young compared to the greatness that is sterek
#listen yes i read thiam fic so what#cody christian is hot#and theo has that sad boy energy#i can look past his failings for that#teen wolf#i was in the og teen wolf fandom ok i am used to SUPERB TEEN WOLF FIC#i found like three good fics for thiam#kudos to those folks
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imagine if the federation tried to make a phoenix with birdperson's daughter wouldn't that be fucked up hahaha < insane
like father like daughter.
(pr0/c0mship dni)
#Rick and Morty#rick n morty#rnm#ram#fanart#Birdperson#Birddaughter#bird person#bird daughter#phoenixperson#phoenixdaughter#phoenix person#birdrick#if you squint#ive had this idea for a long time i hope no one beat me to it#ive doodled her a little but i was DYINGGG to make her a full design so . behold#rick and morty oc#angst#i tried to make it look like bp got his ass kicked in a fight with her before eventually shutting her down . if that wasnt obvious#i have lots of Thoughts for why i made her design the way i did so feel free to ask :p#blood#cyborg#something something parallel to rick projecting all of his negative experiences onto beth and continuing the cycle of abuse etc#compared to bp who tried his best but his kid was doomed to fail being the child of a criminal and the leader of the federation#my original caption for this was 'birdpersons worst nightmare'. because imagine seeing via ur best friend#the kind of negative effects that letting your past control your life can have. so you vow to do better for ur future family#only to watch your kid end up JUST. LIKE. YOU. especially all the parts of you you didnt want her to be#and having to wonder if it was your fault. IDK IM INSANE IM CRAZY birddaughter best charatcer i need her back </3#cloudysarts
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Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.
#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town#but like. We have Differences Of Opinion#and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off#but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks?#like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit'#the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true)#and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic'#and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on#but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't?#you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong?#and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him#but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him#and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit#like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men#but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way'#in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way.#and it made me SO SAD#like bro#I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle#and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope#but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own#like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little#like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang#but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me#like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally.#I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit#But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do.#.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!!#now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy#I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me
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can I request a shin tsukimi
Shin Tsukimi wants to know which one is your favorite.
#hi im sorry for not answering#but do you mean request a photo? or do you want me to make you one?#bc tbh i would very much rather help and guide you into making one! as its very fun and satisfying process#additionally please remember the doll you see in the photos I DID NOT MAKE#i have tried on the past but none have come out as good as this one#as this one is MACHINE MADE#however#i could show you my failed duds if you want#and if you really truly want one of your own i can try to make one for you#but please keep in mind he wouldnt have clothes and would probably NOT look as good as this one#but ido my best for you#tsukimi asks#shin tsukimi#yttd#your turn to die#kmgsn#kimi ga shine
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i know i said before that the show insisting that there’s this ideological divide between battling and catching pokemon was really dumb, but man i do think they had something with goh being so put off by battles. he’s an introverted guy who prefers isolation, and he’s never properly done a trainer battle, he’s got fresh new pokemon who didn’t fight much- and his new friend entered him in this big shot tournament, surrounded by thousands of people, without his knowledge or consent, and so he gets swept by someone with a lot more experience, and so he gets completely and utterly humiliated. you can clearly see how upset he is later on and i think it does make sense for him to resist battling where he can cause he’s afraid of that same humiliation. if he battled in a more private setting with someone on his level, i don’t think he’d have been so resistant after this. and it was interesting to see this part of him clash with scorbunny later on, who got more interested in battling but wasnt allowed to do it as much.
it’s too bad the writers forgot about that though lol
#im still a little annoyed raboots rebellion was just shrugged off as ‘’lol teen angst’’ when it obviously wasnt set up as such#cmon the evolution is prompted when goh resists training her#and then it looks clearly resentful and annoyed when ash fights the electric gym leader that one time#but ough no goh cant have done a bad thing with lasting consequences (on accident) so ha ha its just silly teen angst ig#i know im asking for a level of complexity pkmn doesnt really like to do but come onnnn#ftr im not trying to be like ‘’OUGHHH ash is a bad friend!!’’ either cause i can see where he was coming from#he wasnt like setting goh up to fail he just wanted to show his friend how cool battles were#and i wouldnt be shocked if after all his travels he’s just kinda forgotten what its like to be a beginner#plus hes not introverted and he doesnt really surround himself with people like that#if ash signed iris up for a random tournament behind her back in bw i think iris would like. be a tad annoyed at not being asked#but be SUPER hyped yknow? and i think thats what ash was working off of#idk like. there was something here where like some kids indirectly hurt each other on accident but they learn to grow past it#echoed voice#jn lb
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*reading a thesis about the evolution of the concept of infinity in China with a large amount of tabs open with diverse articles or word combinations to further look for information, all the while seething, blood boiling* I wish Satoru Gojo would fucking cease to exist
#He's damn lab made I swear. I want to strangle him into inexistence. Brush him away from the realm of reality even in the subset of fiction#Only thing I'm not into are his looks. Like yes. He's handsome. But not my type at all. THANKFULLY#My friend keeps asking if I've kept watching. I'm still halfway through episode eight#But you see this is me enjoying this actually#I'm having a blast#A terrible one because I *am* getting attached to this character well beyond Cantor#And I vehemently don't want that#I can foresee this will be a problem as if I were both in the mess itself and moved on from it#Past and future converge in the present and I'm already there and I'm back there again all the while I'm here#Everything is at the same time and I can see what will be in what is because of the echo of what was#As if reading a reverberation of a sound into the future#I am so mad. So mad#He's lab made. I could eat him like a lollipop. I could strangle him to death.#I can't stop thinking about potentials implications and potential readings that most likely have no meaning nor place in the manga#I can't stop thinking about infinity. Again. Like years ago. And enjoying it. Again. Like years ago#Tipsy on exhilaration. Hazy because of nostalgia. Deeply frustrated by this mix. By all this#The past becoming present again and anticipating an unwanted emotiveness that could only break my ribs and leave me nothing again#Yet I can't stop thinking. I can't stop thinking about infinity and I can't stop thinking about Satoru in specific#but also the potential in the previous Gojos and the potential in Sukuna and it makes me wonder about Gojo's friend‚#wondering about the Continuum‚ wondering about the School of Names and the play on contradictions. And then Cusa#But of course. That's why I'm here. And it's so frustrating I want it all to burn#And I could sing but my blood is boiling and at the same time I want to go back in time#Every criticism I try to make to dismantle the princeling and my fondness for him I end up making work again#Perhaps if I read or watch more I'll be able to make it fail. Perhaps I won't like it as much as I could like it in my mind#Perhaps it will be worse‚ and so safe. I'm still halfway through episode eight. I keep watching on loop. I keep looking for books and papers#I could drink him like fresh water. I can foresee my drowning#Anyway...#I talk too much#Jujutsu Kaisen#I guess I should make a tag for my thoughts while watching/seeing this instead of just using the general tag
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wow so cute. NOT! who the hell do you think you are
#trick question he doesn't know#94#also i loove the 3 mouth...#in a soft subtle way#the protein bar thing is very projectingful of me but genuinely#i actually do like protein bars but i've had hundreds over the past 16 months so i know how disgusting they can be#i feel like protein bar addiction is such a specific experience#addiction is a strong word it's just the food i autistically latched onto after aldi stopped selling my keto bagels#not that i believe in keto. but they worked for me...#i ate those w 2 eggs+egg whites every day for half a year almost without fail#and then i lost them forever and then i went through a phase where i struggled to eat and then i started going batshit w protein bars#i had 3 1/2 today it's not looking too good#that's because i went a few weeks or maybe a month without any and whenever i get a new box#after not having any for a while i tend to go through it really fast#and i get them at sam's club too so they're big boxes yk it's kind of embarrassing#it's a big part of my diet. don't do this to yourself ever#what the hell was my point my point was that a super solider diet requires a lot of protein and bucky would not do well w eating enough#so he starts relying on protein bars because it's the same everytime and it's better than nothing#what do you think his favorites would be...#would love to hear about bucky's protein bar ranking tierlist
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straight-up i could analyze varric and the dasher's men being the only book he wrote with a dwarven hero forever. like he literally wrote himself out of the narrative after that . because it was too close to home? too blatantly him wearing his heart on his sleeve? did bartrand ever call him on it, if he even READ the damn book? did bianca during a fight? or is it because he stopped thinking he could be the hero? because he CHOSE to sink into the background because that way he can avoid vulnerability and failure and rejection and conflict??? 🧐✍ which also ties to how his character arc in inquisition (and his relationship with hawke) is about him growing as a person and becoming someone who will take action after purposefully avoiding the weight of responsibility . hence veilguard and him becoming viscount 🧐✍thank u for listening to my unhinged varric tedtalks
DON'T EVEN I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT LIKE. WHAT EVERYONE ELSE THOUGHT ABOUT HIM WRITING. do we know when he and bianca first got together btw and what books it might've tied into.......... i'm sure you do you smart talented genius whomst im kissing on the lips....
#IF UR THE SAME PERSON AS LAST TIME i do often think about how we talked about like#varric's reluctance to commit to anything tying in w that fear of becoming his parents#and being loyal to something long gone that you can never get back#AND THEN IRONICALLY HE LITERALLY DOES THAT. LIKE THAT'S ALL HE DOES.#but if he pretends it's all a story and analyzes it through a fictional lens then it means#it can't hurt as much.#and then his gravestone is coming too late i think he's already started down that path#of Caring and Trying even if it means getting hurt by the time inquisition comes around#i wonder if he stops to look at the gravestone and goes Hm.#i wonder if he ever had to reckon w the fact he HAD been doing that#AND TECHNICALLY IS STILL DOING IT#he's still holding onto the past he's just ok with himself getting hurt now#if he dies for something now it'll make up for all those things he failed to try about in the past#man. love u anon u always open my eyes#varric anon#THERE U ARE UR OWN TAG god bless...#ask
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certain qidian authors shld start a side hustle writing dnmei actually 🙂↕️
#男频不写男同还写什么 <- golden words to live by#*#fan xian/li chengze (qing yu nian):#written to be foils.. the mirror inverse of one another..the zhen baoyu to his jia baoyu#dislikes him on sight perhaps bc they r too similar souls#asks him not once but twice to bow out of the succession struggle bc if he does he promises to give him a lifetime of peace#“我许你一世平安” which in some contexts would be so romantic#begs him to live after his failed rebellion and of course lcz being who he is kills himself in front of him#更香的是他们还是同父异母的亲xiong dei😇#and bc u cant have enough hong lou meng references during their first meeting lcz’s delicate looks also remind him of lin daiyu..#and he wonders why he keeps thinking of him when he’s not even gayy (and i quote 好龙阳)#li huowang/zhuge yuan (dao gui yi xian):#his 白月光. his fleeting moment of respite in a truly horrific world#who sacrifices himself to save him from the powerful eldritch being after him#who he then strangles w his own two hands bc anyone who dies by his hands becomes part of his hallucinations so#at least he’ll still be with him in some capacity#hallucination!zgy tricks lhw in exchange for the survival of his country (所以T_T在渊子心里其实家国天下>>>🔥)#and feels so guilty abt it that he dissipates (perma death) leaving lhw to cry for three days straight at the bottom of a well#pulls himself together to fulfill zgy’s final wish of saving the people and when they ask his name he says zhuge yuan#builds a white jade buddha statue w/ zgy’s face for the ppl to worship#also he carries around a sword made from zgy’s spine and that brings him comfort#oh how could i ever forget pingxie (dmbj):#his lifetime in exchange for ten years of his innocence#“im a man with no past or future. if i disappeared from this world no one would notice” “at the very least i would notice”#“i’ve thought abt my connections to the world and it seems the only one i can find is you”#many such cases………..#if these were on jj literally吊打秒杀 the girlies (me) would EAT IT UPPP#QIDIAN YAOI📣📣📣📣
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when will aup sidestories return from war and stop leaving me bitter about how the main story ended
#lumensis' characterization & death + the revelation of ludgers desire were extremely anticlimactic#700+ chapters of building up only to have the resolution forcefully/hastily crammed into. what. 2 and 1/2 chapters?#and am i supposed to care for his relationship with his mom when it didnt come up in 99% of the novel?#tbh it had *many* opportunities to come up but the author wanted to keep ludgers desire as mysterious as possible#and so it lost its chance to have any emotional buildup#well other than the implications of regrets which were frankly a bit oversaturated in the novel#(again. what happened to the 'show dont tell' principles)#honestly even occasional flashbacks to ludgers mom teaching him about all kinds of myths and lores when its relevant#would have helped in this aspect plus showcased his growth and development over time even when its off screen#(doesnt make his vast knowledge look like it conveniently came out of nowhere)#while also greatly enhancing the world building of his game breaking 'real magic'#anyway i think ludgers reconciliation w his mother would have been more impactful if ludgers past life came up more often#hell it would have done wonder in exploring his depth if we are going with framing his past lifestyle as a flaw#the thing about ludger as a character is that his past (in both worlds) is much more interesting than his present#bc its the only way we can see how he mentally changed in comparison as his changes are nearly non existent in the present timeline#(a part of the reasons why ludgercaseys relationship over time is an appealing topic is that it showcases both of their changes)#(reading about a protagonist who has no mental changes over the course of the story is no different than watching... a nature documentary)#im still v salty about how we never get to see arpas and bettys reconciliation btw#so do emotional closures between ludger and other characters#those are literally the meat of the story that would be worthy of their own arc#sayren why the hell did you rush through them and put them off screen#in the end instead of proving that he has finally learnt his lessons by confronting his emotions ludger chose to run away from it yet again#even if we are to assume that is whats gonna happen post epilogue why is his change accomplished by a goddamn last minute timeskip#(that is also lowkey a failed suicide attempt in disguise)#instead of what could have been... idk... a banger novel named aup#good christ#rant
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Song of the Day: April 15
"Something in the Way She Moves" by James Taylor
#song of the day#it's been two weeks + two days since the last song of the day#the issue is you see that I started the songs up again in December because my insomnia was fucking up my perception of time#and I wanted some kind of regular marker to help me keep track#and then what happened two weeks + two days ago is that I lost all track of time and subsequently the songs of the day failed#I'm gonna see if I can keep up again for a bit now that I've re-restarted without an alarm on my phone#but if I miss any this week I'll just give in and turn the alarm back on#updates from the last two weeks are going to sound so chaotic let's see#I got a new project at work /and/ I got demoted /and/ I got added to a higher access level /and/ I'm in charge of a new database#yes all of those things together. I'm to be an accountant now! not instead but in addition to my other stuff. should be interesting#I didn't get April Fools off like I was scheduled to because all my scheduled vacation got unapproved#(I was here for about twenty nonsequential minutes to boop people and I'm glad I made time for it. extremely fun to boop)#I lied shamelessly to get eclipse day off and we went on a full-day roadtrip and it was wonderful. everything I dreamed and more#I killed one of my baby succulents through clumsiness and rabbits ate my pea plants but my sage and cabbages look promising#got a massive pot of mint flourishing on my porch and the horseradish is gorgeous#got Duncan lights and plants and a filter system for his frog tank but we haven't set up the substrate yet#so there's just potted plants sitting inside a terrarium. very amusing honestly#I've been playing a little Stardew and eating a /lot/ of hot sauce and tofu#drinking tons of klass aguas frescas--especially the soursop one. holy shit is it good. the mango and hibiscus also#and these past few days I've been sleeping better#for most of those two weeks I was getting a handful of twenty-minute naps each workday and then crashing unwillingly on the weekend#I haven't read any comic books since February :'( this weekend we're going to costco and then I'm reading comics until Monday#what have y'all been up to? I've missed being around#edit: oh shit the actual song part. anyway this is James Taylor! makes me happy and helps me settle. good vibes songs#I'm half-panicked about work all the time recently and then also today was tax day (Nick's taxes. blegh)#James Taylor doing some heavy lifting round here
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i can def relate to having an abusive mother, the worst part is that people always assume mothers to be good people. thankfully my dad and mother don't live together so i chose to stay with my dad permanently but my dad's girlfriend is constantly talking about how i should make up with my mother because "you only get one mom" and she completely ignores me when i try to talk about how abusive my mother was
yeah. ugh. sorry about your situation anon. it sucks and im sending sympathies
#ask#i just dunno what to do with myself#as if complex trauma isnt enough im now dealing with a lot of complicated situations regarding what to do now#i dont live there anymore. but my siblings do. hi guys i have 4 younger siblings#and me as much as everybody else just wishes there was a nice family to help us develop stable and normal#so im doing my damn best. im trying to stay in contact with the kids. im hoping they have a better support system than i did#but family policy means the teens get no texting privacy no internet time. so as if i can fucking stay in touch and look out for them anywa#i dont think i can do anything. it feels inevitable that every kid is gonna get completely fractured like me#and the only other alternative risks making it worse and uncomfortable when its none of my business anymore#(taking up my therapist on calling cps. lol)#i cant talk about it with my siblings (no real access to them) and it makes me insane#i cant talk to my dad because he has enough shit and i dont want to drive the family to pieces#i cant talk to my mum because she has a habit of abusing the kids and then telling them its because *I* made her mad; blame me#what am i meant to do#as if the past isnt a lot to process right now. im also dealing with the present that this is probably ongoing and theres fuck all i can do#sorry for venting. im in hell. im trying to be normal and failing spectacularly#abuse#domestic abuse#for cw#i wish i didnt have to worry. i wish this was never a problem in the first place
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Physically ill over the thought that if Wolfwood were to be reincarnated, it would be Vash's luck that he never finds him until he gives up looking completely and then seeing that familiar face in the crowd hits him like a truck
#cainscontent#more thoughts im bringing here from twitter#reincarnation is a trope that i both adore and despise for how it breaks my heart#you never find what youre looking for until you stop searching haunts my dreams fr#can you imagine it how you spend so so long#probably centuries in vashs case#looking for the man you loved more than anything your best friend your one person that knew you better than anyone#and its only when you finally give up#tired and exhausted and heartbroken and with the vague sense of hopelessness#that you see his face in the crowd and its like being hit by a truck#the faces in the crowd blur completely and all you see is him#the man youve longed for and mourned and missed and failed#and here he is again and you feel your world shatter all over again#because do you deserve thos#do you deserve a second chance to be happy with him?#would he even want to know you if he found out you were seeing a past version of him in everything he did?#would he remember you?#and would you forgive yourself if you left him alone to live out his life without the curse of knowing you?#wolfwood#vash#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#vashwood#trigun
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every now and then in the midst of the most deranged garbage you’ve ever watched when californication gets actually very very sad 🫠
#keep thinking about karen telling hank ‘angel i love you so SO much’ and then weeping#and hank saying ‘i can’t stay. i can’t stay.’ and her ‘i know.’#and when he goes back in the house and becca just looks at him and KNOWS he’s leaving. and tells him it’s okay. hugs her dad goodbye.#it’s fucking depressing y’all#it’s like a combination of his past mistakes/choices and his addictions and his own personal flaws and failings#that just keep him from ever actually being able to show up for them and they are just TRAPPED.#and for as much posturing as the show can do about what a super cool genius last Real Man hank is#i think it does know that he’s fucking destroying his family. ‘his girls.’#and they cannot escape!! they will forever cling to the potential of the partner/father they know on good days!!!#and it IS sad when the show inevitably pulls back to expose the damage being done. how for every funny or sexy tryst or escapade there’s#the only people he loves weeping on the porch#anyway. it’s the worst television show ever made i literally want to be watching it 24 hours a day#californication
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Marvel Team-Up (1972) #102
#it’s interesting to me how insistent Leonard is that he’s not a monster#at the beginning of this issue he was speaking at a panel and arguing in favor of using gamma radiation to treat the mentally ill#and while the opposition used the existence of the Hulk as a counter argument#he was saying that he himself is proof that controlled gamma rays are safe#his whole concept is that he stands in contrast to the Hulk#he has gamma strength but doesn’t become a monster because he doesn’t have anger issues#instead he’s a psychologist and can maintain a mostly normal-looking#in the past he’s expressed some insecurity over the Hulk seeming to be stronger than him#which is credited to how ‘beastial’ the Hulk is while Samson remains a man#and I can see how it would be important to Samson personally that he’s not like the Hulk but is also better than him#and how it would also be important for his career and really just his life that he’s not thought of as being like the Hulk#there was an earlier storyline where Samson publicly staked his reputation on rehabilitating the Hulk#but failing to do that apparently hasn’t had that much of a negative effect if he’s being invited to speak at colleges#though I wonder how Samson’s own need for the Hulk to have the issues that he does to stand in contrast to him#would inhibit or tamper with Samson’s attempts to treat the Hulk#in that recent storyline where Samson was being insecure about the Hulk being not as intelligent and therefore stronger than him#he mishandled a situation by acting in anger and calling the Hulk a monster rather than attempting to approach him calmly first#and he also hurt the Hulk’s feelings by underestimating his intelligence#which I can see as being a part of Samson’s internal conflict between what he believes he wants to the Hulk to be like#and what he thinks he needs the Hulk to be like#marvel#leonard samson#peter parker#my posts#comic panels
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i am being genuine, i think Zachariah is one of my favorite characters on this show
#him 🤝 Castiel: shits fucked I’m gonna go get drunk about it#literally he fascinates me I wanna poke him with a stick#‘whatever happened to personal loyalty’ NEED TO POKE HIM WITH NEEDLES AND FIGURE OUT HOW HE WORKS#okay okay okay okay it’s. like there is something to be said. about heaven’s reprogramming vs actually kicking angels out/killing them#that is last resort methods. I am gonna take Zach as being genuine there. what ABOUT loyalty huh?#the worst thing that can happen to an angel is getting kicked out like. Zach is one of the higher ups he’s an administrator of punishments#but is that punishment not better than the alternative?#an angel lobotomized is an angel saved. kept with the flock. personal loyalty. they worked so well for Heaven right up until they didn’t.#and he just. sets them right again. painfully. but sets them right. a gift for past service. forgiveness for new sins. wipe clean the slate.#also he really is just chilling at that bar. acting like he got fired.#but we know what him Actually being fired would look like. Heaven does not just let angels go#and when Michael arrives he assumes it’s to kill him so…#what im saying is zach’s getting mind games played with him too. he fails to get a yes? toss him out for a while. let him boil in the shame#and when he’s offered his job back he looks like he’s about to cry for the joy of it. LIKE#I DONT KNOW MAN I JUST FIND HIM SO COMPELLING THIS REWATCH#TERRIBLE TERRIBLE MAN. COMPELS ME THO.#he also gets points for singing when the saints come marching in. lmao. that’s the football song <3#I need to rewatch the Naomi episodes so I can compare them… angels dedicated so much to Heaven they’ll hurt their own siblings…#my favorite little cult leaders <3 well. leaders is misleading. cult middle management.#spn#Zachariah spn
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