#i can just release the compilation whenever really just need to organize it

[noisytenant]

i wanted to upload soundcloud compilation for bandcamp friday but its like uhh more than halfway thru the day so maybe i just gotta wait til next month. Again

[idcallmyselfhuman]

XiaoAether Masterlist 👹⛅

Edit: version 2.0 here

Or, every XiaoAether moment that I can remember (and an attempt to organize them)

Starting this off with the one scene that made us all go "wait a fucking minute" at the very start of the game,

Battle of Osial

Aether's feet were already steadied. Xiao could've let go, or let him fall as gracefully as Mountain Shaper did to that guard (I would've hated him forever) but considering that he insists that being near mortals is such a biiiig no-no, he could have, but he didn't. No, even more, he fucking tightened his hold.

-

Teyvat Food Notes (Sweet Dream, Adeptus' Temptation and Satisfying Salad)

Next! The promotionals during Xiao's release as a playable character. Specifically, Teyvat Food Notes. To celebrate his release, they made an Almond Tofu + Sweet Dream Food blog.

Note: Both google translate and Papago seem to use Mandrill instead of Xiao, so... just know that's who it's talking about.

This is where we learn that Xiao didn't even make "Sweet Dream"; this dish was Aether's thank you gift to him. Xiao's specialty dish is a gift from Aether. I'm- agh. ANYWAY.

We actually also see Sweet Dream in Childe's birthday art. And I'm really sorry to Tartaglia but seeing it stole all his thunder. I could not get over it.

I like to think Aether was so busy making Childe food that he absentmindedly started preparing Almond Tofu in the way he's used to (because of how often Xiao requests it :'> ).

Just when I thought that was it for the Teyvat Food Notes and I could've moved on, I found this in the Adeptus' Temptation food note; the one they made for the first Lantern Rite.

Note: "Fairy/Buddha Jump over the Wall" is apparently an actual Chinese delicacy that the Adeptus' Temptation is based on!

I found this part really cute, especially right now because of the poetry event. Since the beginning, Aether's always known that Xiao was capable of being poetic, it just took them being close and his encouragement for Xiao to actually make a poem.

Lastly, Aether's Satisfying Salad. This isn't connected to the food blog this time (since that one's for Mona), but rather, this and Almond Tofu are the first dishes Aether has ever given Xiao in the game. I included this despite it being pretty minor because in Moonlight Merriment, Smiley Yanxiao actually brings this up again.

Smiley Yanxiao: The boss told me to take care of him, but this guy, let me tell you - he is one tough nut to crack. He usually turns his nose up at everything that isn't Almond Tofu.

Xiao willingly ate something that wasn't Almond Tofu because... because what, it was given to him by a cute blonde traveler? The jury's still out on that one.

-

Lantern Rite 1.3, Baizhu Story Quest

I'm sure we're already familiar with this scene, right?

The very first time Xiao promised Aether that no matter what, as long as he calls his name, he'll be there. Right after that was Moonlight Merriment, where the game literally specifies that Xiao made that promise just for Aether. Way to make your commitment subtle.

Ah, Xiao, you're so easy... Of course, this wouldn't be the last time that Aether calls for him and Xiao arrives immediately. This also happened during Baizhu's story quest to, yet again, the astonishment of everyone around excluding these two. (Xiao's dedication is one of a kind)

Xiao worries over Aether often, despite knowing that they're both formidable in their own right. I also think it's sweet how every time they meet, Xiao's departing words are always a reminder to call for him whenever needed, to the point where there are times that Aether just goes "Yeah, we know." before he can even finish the sentence.

Unfortunately, though, there is one time where Xiao failed to reach Aether when he called him, but only because he physically wasn't able to.

-

Perilous Trail (Interlude)

The only thing that prevented this man from getting to Aether like always was being in a different plane of existence. Romeo and Juliet wish they were this romantic istfg

Aether: Come find us.

Xiao: No.

Yanfei: But Aether's in trouble!

Xiao: How do we meet?

Now where else did someone pull this tactic recently-

...Again, XIAO YOU ARE SO EASY. But anyway, back to the Chasm bc I wasn't quite done with that-

As soon as Yanfei tells Aether that Xiao is awake, Ae comes running. Just full on "stop saying you're fine i'll be the judge of that"

And he looks so angry when Xiao brings up writing a will. augguh they are sooooo- (i would put a reaction pic here if i didn't have an IMAGE LIMIT fuck tumblr bro)

To finish off the Chasm Interlude on a more serious note, this entire conversation was really touching, and I love seeing the progress these two have made over the years. Xiao letting himself open up with Aether's help year by year is one of my favorite things about this game.

-

Teapot and Character Voice Lines + Birthday Letters

For the first and second Lantern Rite, Xiao was still adamant on not even stepping foot in Liyue Harbor, declining every invitation to go there because of how much he disliked being near mortals.

Yet in his teapot voicelines, once you reach a high enough friendship with him, Xiao actually takes the initiative to invite Aether to go to the city, if only to understand him better. Xiao explicitly says that his willingness to go to the harbor was for him.

More About Xiao I: I'm willing to protect you.But don't think about getting close, and stay out of my way, or all that awaits you is regret.

More About Xiao V: It's too late. The connection between us is too strong. Even if you wanted to, it's too late to sever it. Hm? You've never thought to sever it?

About Shenhe: It seems Shenhe places a great deal of trust in you. Well, how could she not. There are few people in the world as kind and good-natured as you.

Shenhe, About Xiao: My first impression of him was that he's not one to smile. After meeting him again more recently, however, he's still as reserved as ever, but… he seems a lot more relaxed now. Maybe he… met someone special.

That line by Shenhe made me happy. Aether's effect on Xiao benefitted not only him, but the people surrounding Xiao as well. We even see that in his birthday letters, where at the most recent one, he follows Ae's advice and goes to spend time with old friends.

They're also all just insanely romantic, I feel like that goes without saying. Every year, I wonder how Genshin would possibly top the one before it that isn't just an explicit confession of undying love.

-

Lantern Rite '23

I'm here to remind you all of a beautiful scene that should never be forgotten for years to come.

Regardless of Genshin trying to be mysterious and making us guess who saved Aether, the fact that they both came rushing over is incredible on its own. They know that Aether isn't a damsel in distress, and Paimon's acting was so on the nose, but they still couldn't allow even the slightest possibility of harm to come to him.

Xiao looking away and talking in circles just to say he really was worried is the funniest fucking thing.

For the Lantern Rite event itself, if you've read this far in, you're probably already familiar. I really wish there wasn't an image limit because I have so many screenshots I want to put in here. If you want a refresher, watch this and start around the 2-hour mark

I wanted to put my own video in the post but you can only put one :/// I'm fist fighting whoever put these limits. 1 video file and 30 images? who are you

BACK TO THE TOPIC

There really isn't much I could say that I haven't already said before. For XiaoAether shippers, this was hoyo spoonfeeding content on a silver spoon. It's Aether and Xiao at their most comfortable with each other, talking and spending time with the people they care about. It's Aether fulfilling his end of the bargain of bailing Xiao out of uncomfortable social situations, because if you haven't noticed throughout all of these examples (or even outside of that), Aether is so perceptive when it comes to the comfort of the people around him.

This was also the event where we find out that for Xiao, the most distinguished guest in his eyes was Aether (Even though Ae thought he was going to say Zhongli..)

I have a lot of love for this event. But since this isn't just a lantern rite post, I'll move on.

-

Waterborne Poetry

The catalyst for this post. The reminder of how lovely this ship is, and how far these two have come.

As we have all learned from Xiangling, Yanfei, Venti and Hu Tao, you only need to mention Aether's name to convince Xiao of whatever it is you're planning. The part where Aether and Team Chongyun were trying to convince him to come with them and touch some fucking grass was really cute.

This event and the previous Lantern Rite also had Aether and Xiao talking privately, only to get interrupted by Paimon/Xiangling (as well as calling them out lmao)

And, of course, the scene that everyone freaked out over,

This. I don't think I'll ever get over this.

The fact that they had Zach voice this- A short, but sweet moment where Aether looks at Xiao from afar and immediately gets inspired, performing a poem where the real meaning is shared only between the two of them...

And Xiao's smile.

An expression that Aether had done so well to bring out.

2023 was the year of XiaoAether. Thank you, Hoyo.

-

Done! I HAVE SO MANY SCREENSHOTS AND I COULDN'T EVEN USE MOST OF THEM ToT. I actually had clips that I edited but Tumblr said no. Good thing there's YouTube.

Another reason as to why I made this was because some shippers said that XiaoAe didn't make sense because it lacked depth and I was so affronted by it that I did all this out of spite (and love for these characters. mostly love.)

[here2bbtstrash]

look down on me like that - 2 (explicit)

genre: slow burn enemies to lovers hatefucking coworkers au, smut (w some eventual angst)

pairing: yoongi x reader

summary: your asshole coworker min yoongi has made it his personal mission to ruin your life.

word count: 6.1k

contains: this is the last chapter before it gets smutty, just needed to rly get the enemies build-up going ;))) believe it or not reader is somehow even dumber than last time, jungkook continues to be too good for this world, yoongi continues to be a dick, water is wet, etc. aaand mentions of alcohol (a running theme in this one!)

A/N: i really have nothing witty to say just hope you enjoy 💜 this is also on AO3!

chapter one | masterlist | chapter three

To say that the rest of your first week is overwhelming is an understatement. You operate in a constant state of confusion. You keep a page in your notes to track all of the unfamiliar terminology your coworkers use; you frantically Google as many phrases as possible whenever you have a moment alone.

Unfortunately, the moments alone are few and far between. From the second you unlock the door each morning, you’re always busy, and nearly always in meetings, which inevitably result in more things getting tacked onto your to-do list: compiling presentation materials, booking artists for studio time, setting up task boards for the production teams, creating project timelines for upcoming releases, ordering additional recording equipment, submitting a maintenance request for the broken door in studio B. Your desk phone’s voicemail and your inbox are already filling up, and you haven’t had a free second to so much as check them, let alone respond to anything.

You arrive to work earlier and earlier each morning, where Jungkook is always waiting to greet you, hair still damp from his post-workout shower. More often than not, a smile or offer of help from your baby-faced coworker is the only thing that gets you through the day.

Inversely, there’s Suga. He hasn’t said anything to you since the team meeting, and he doesn’t attend the next one. That doesn’t stop his presence from feeling like a dark cloud looming over your head. You don’t dare put headphones in again while you work, but you still find yourself regularly glancing over your shoulder, just to be sure he isn’t standing there smirking at you.

But he never is. In fact, Jungkook was right— you pretty much never see Suga, other than when he gets to work and leaves each day.

You find yourself working later and later into the evenings as well, trying to tread water, but to his credit, Suga seems to be respecting your boundary. He leaves at 5:55 each day like clockwork, always with his dark sunglasses on, never saying anything. You’ve stopped saying goodnight to him, figuring it’s a waste of air.

In fact, you feel your most productive once he’s gone for the day. There’s an entire physical response you have to the mere absence of him from the building. Your shoulders relax, your brain unfogs. It’s like you can breathe deeper, knowing your secret of incompetency is safe to live on another day.

Of course, you don’t actually know that he knows. He can’t know for sure, you reason, unless he’s some kind of stalker. He just has his suspicions, albeit ones he was confident enough in to voice aloud to you.

But the rest of the company seems to have faith in you, so you can’t be doing that horribly. That thought keeps you afloat, if just barely.

On this particular day, you’re asked to reset one of the studios after talent has finished a scheduled recording session. The company is producing an up and coming female rapper’s mixtape, and you thank every lucky star you have that Suga is not involved with this project. The engineer you are working with doesn’t say much, but he’s at least pleasant. You follow his lead to start breaking down and organizing a clusterfuck of audio equipment set up in the recording booth. While you continue, he slips back into the control room.

“Damn, the storage on this thing sucks ass,” you hear the engineer’s voice over the talkback intercom. “One day eats up like half the drive. Hey admin?” You glance up, continuing to wrap a cable around your arm, to see him hunched over the studio desktop.

“Do you mind porting the files from today off here so we don’t run out of space when she comes back tomorrow?” He slides open a couple drawers until he finds what he’s looking for, holding up a thumb drive so you can see it through the glass. “If you can throw them on here, that’d be great.”

“Sure.” The microphones are all unplugged and you’re not sure if he can hear you, so you shoot him a thumbs up with your non-occupied arm.

“Thanks! We’ve got another client coming in so I gotta bounce. Just bring it by my office whenever you get a chance.”

It takes ages, but you get the booth and the control room put back together, then take a seat at the desktop. There are a ton of files saved haphazardly all over the place from the session, and you gather them into a folder, then plug the USB in and move the data over.

A small green progress bar loads for a while, then eventually disappears, and you pull the drive out. Easy peasy. You mass-select the files and delete them, clicking through all the annoying “are you sure?” messages until they finally disappear. All done.

For good measure, you plug the USB back into the desktop to review. You might even get crazy and organize the takes for him, who knows.

You open the drive in your file explorer, and it’s empty.

That’s weird. Maybe it just needs to load, you consider. You give it a second.

Panic rises in your chest as the blank folder stares back at you. There’s no progress bar, no loading icon, no spinning rainbow wheel. You swallow hard. The thumb drive is empty.

“No, no, no, no,” you murmur to yourself, clicking around on the screen as if to somehow summon the files from beyond the grave, your stomach in knots. “Please come back,” you whisper through a lump in your throat.

Tears sting at the corners of your eyes and you start to hyperventilate. This can’t be happening. You find the Recycle Bin on the desktop and open it, but that’s empty too.

“What is the fucking point of you then?!” You hiss angrily at the Recycle Bin. The tears in your eyes threaten to spill over, and you push the desk chair back. You have to get out of here before someone finds you in this state.

You grab your purse off the desk and pull the USB out of the computer, chucking it in next to your laptop. You sling the straps over your shoulder and will your face to look some amount of normal as you push the studio door open.

You rush towards the bathroom. Please don’t let anyone see me please please please—

You’re so focused on the target ahead that you don’t realize you’re about to smack into someone leaving the men’s room until it’s too late. You collide into his chest at full-speed. Your clumsiness is the final straw and you let out a choked gasp of a sob, unable to catch your breath to even apologize.

Your palms rest flat against this person’s chest, and his hands instinctively grab your arms to keep you upright. You’re terrified to make eye contact and confirm who it is. If this is Suga, you will literally die of embarrassment right here in the hallway.

“Whoa, hey, are you okay?” Jungkook’s voice has already become familiar to you, and you’ve never been more glad to hear it. “What’s going on?”

Tears roll down your face as you look up at him. “I think I fucked up.”

Keeping his hands firmly on your shoulders, Jungkook steers you down the hall into an open meeting room. You sit with your back to the door so passersby can’t see your now free-flowing tears. Your shoulders shake as you hide your face in your hands. The embarrassment of being so emotional in front of a coworker that you barely know only makes you cry that much harder.

Jungkook finds a box of tissues in one of the media cabinets and slides it across the table towards you. He’s patient with you, and waits it out silently until you’re able to gasp for air and calm yourself down a little. “Tell me what happened.”

You reach for a tissue and dab at your eyes, certain you look like a disaster. “I… accidentally deleted all the files from the recording session.” You say with a sniffle. His jaw drops.

You go over the incident, the studio, the files, the drive. “So, I pulled the USB out, and then—”

“Did you eject it?”

You pause, wondering if that’s supposed to mean something to you. “Eject it?”

“The USB.”

“Um, I pulled it out of the computer?”

“But you didn’t click the eject button first.”

“I… No, I guess I didn’t.”

He leans back in his chair, his face serious. “That explains it. You can usually get away with not ejecting a USB and be fine if you’re moving a couple small files, but hours worth of audio recordings… They were probably still writing to the drive. Pull it out before that completes and the data can get corrupted. Or in this case…” He makes a small gesture with his hands. “Poof.”

“Poof.” You drop your head into your folded arms on the table. “I’m so fucked.”

Jungkook snaps his fingers. “The Recycle Bin!”

You shake your head where it is. “Tried it. Empty.”

His hand drops to the table with a thud. “Dammit. That can happen with big files. No second chances.”

You sit back up, pressing your fingers to your temples. “What do I do? That’s hours of work, a talent’s time wasted, a damaged relationship, thousands in booking fees we’ll probably need to pay back—”

“Blame me.” He interjects. You laugh because that’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard.

“You weren’t even there.”

Jungkook leans forward, and you can see the gears in his head turning. “Say that I asked you for the tracks because I wanted to start brainstorming some teasers for our socials.”

“But you know how to eject a USB,” you counter, then add bitterly, “because you’re not a fucking moron.”

He pauses. “I… misunderstood. I thought you’d made two. I thought the engineer had his own version, so I deleted everything when I was done.”

The weight of his words sinks in. “Jungkook, no. I can’t ask you to lie for me.”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering.”

You huff a shaky exhale. “This isn’t your responsibility.”

“Hmm. How long have you worked here?”

You pause to count. “Twelve days.”

“Uh-huh.” He says, lazily circling his index finger on the table. “Do you know how long I’ve worked here?” You shake your head. “Four years.”

“Wow.”

“And they love me.” You smile at that. Of course they do. “I’m the golden boy here. I’ve never fucked up, not even once. I mean it, let me take the heat on this one.”

The offer is so tempting, but you can’t. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this.”

“Because—” he starts, then falters. “You’re a good coworker. I see how many hours you’re putting in and how much stuff they’re throwing at you. I told them when they posted the job that this position needed to be two roles, but they didn’t want to listen to me. And I think we could use more people like you around here. You’re nice, and disciplined, and honest.”

The last word stings. You’re a fucking monster, is what you are. Maybe you might as well embrace it.

“Thank you,” you say, as sincerely as you’ve ever meant it. “I seriously can’t tell you how much this means to me.” Your eyes threaten to tear up again and you tilt your head back, willing yourself not to cry. “God, I’m such a wreck. I don’t know how I’m supposed to go back to work like this.”

“What’s the rest of your day look like?” He asks.

You retrieve your laptop from your purse and open it up. Jungkook walks his feet against the floor to wheel his office chair over to your side of the table. It’s just goofy enough to make you laugh.

You pull up your calendar and he looks at it with you. The universe has actually blessed you with a rare chunk of free time. You’ve got a solid 90 minutes until your next meeting.

“Well, I’m hungry.” Jungkook says decisively. “Do you want to get some food?”

You balk at his question. “What, fucking up an entire recording session wasn’t enough, you want me to skip out on work too?”

“You’re not skipping out on work!” He pulls his phone out of his pocket and taps at the screen for a moment. “Look.”

A few seconds later, an hour-long event appears on your calendar. The sender is one Jeon Jungkook, and you’re the only listed attendee. He reaches over to your laptop’s trackpad and accepts the invitation.

“It’s a meeting. A walking meeting. Come on.”

You’d underestimated how nice getting outside would be. It’s a good reminder that the world still exists beyond of the glass walls of your office. Jungkook slows his pace so you don’t have to hurry to keep up with him in your heels.

He must be able to sense your desire for a distraction from the events of the past hour, because he doesn’t say anything else about it. Instead he regales you with stories of his most recent social media projects— apparently he’s amassed a small army of fans who love it when he does Instagram Q&As on the company page.

“You know they came up with a nickname for me? It’s Baby Star Candy.” His cheeks redden as he says the name. “I have no idea what it means.”

You don’t either, but it’s oddly perfect for him.

The two of you approach a fairly unremarkable looking building, and he pushes the door open and motions for you to enter first. You step into a bustling food hall and are immediately hit with an overwhelming array of sounds and smells. There are dozens of stalls, but Jungkook heads confidently in the direction of one, and you follow him, trying to take it all in.

Jungkook stops you at a bakery, the displays piled high with various kinds of breads, donuts and pastries. The aroma is heavenly.

“Grab a seat,” he calls over his shoulder as he jumps into the line, and you find a table for two in the corner. He returns a few minutes later with two buns on a tray. The gesture is overwhelmingly kind. Part of you wants to argue that you don’t deserve this, but you don’t think you could get the words out without the truth about all your lies spilling out with them.

Instead you thank him, pick up a bun, and take a bite. It’s soft and warm, and the slightly sweet taste of the red bean filling is incredible. Jungkook closes his eyes in happiness when he takes his first bite. You both chew in silence.

When you’ve finished, you rest your chin on your hands. “So, Jeon Jungkook, what is the agenda for this urgent meeting?”

He smiles, wiping at the corners of his mouth. “Let’s see. What would make you feel better?”

“The free food definitely helped. I still feel like a dumbass, though.”

Jungkook shrugs. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. It could’ve been worse.” He pauses. “You could have lost the company thousands of dollars in stolen equipment, for example.”

Your eyes widen as you realize what he’s referencing, and you bite back a laugh. “Honestly, that’s a really good point. Do you know what happened with that?”

He shakes his head. “Not much more than what you heard at the meeting. Suga was working really late on some project. This was back when we all had our own keys, so the rule was just to lock up whenever you left. And I guess he forgot?”

You can’t imagine working so hard you’d forget something that simple.

“I was the first one to get in the next morning,” Jungkook continues, “so I was the first one to see it. The place was trashed. They took basically anything that wasn’t too heavy to lift. I can’t imagine how much Suga must have paid to replace everything.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. I tried asking him about it right after it all went down, just trying to be supportive, but he got super touchy. Like, touchy even for Suga. So I haven’t brought it up again.” He shrugs.

The thought lingers in the back of your brain the rest of the walk back to the office, and even throughout your remaining meetings. You don’t have many nice things to say about the guy, but Suga is clearly methodical, dedicated, and very observant. You know it’s not your business, but you can’t help but wonder what the hell happened.

~*~

The next few days pass in an anxious blur. You keep expecting the other shoe to drop, sure that someone will see through Jungkook’s lie and your boss will show up at your desk with your termination notice, but nothing comes of it. Life goes on. You’ve gotten away with murder, and it feels awful.

You’re in such a fog of guilt, and still so overwhelmed by your workload, that you forget about your first meeting Friday morning. The notification pops up alerting you to an overdue calendar event, and you grab your laptop and sprint for the conference room, nearly twisting an ankle in your heels.

When you push the door open, already apologizing profusely, you realize Suga is sitting alone at the table.

Your stomach drops. Every cell in your body wants to turn around and walk right back out the door. Instead you gingerly pull out a chair across from him and sit, refraining from making eye contact.

“Um, good morning, Min Suga.”

The silent question of what this meeting is crosses your mind, but you know you should know that, and you’re not about to give him any ammo. You open your laptop and pull up the invite.

Oh. Oh. The memory comes back to you now. Your boss had asked you to provide support for a huge client pitch first thing Friday morning. He’d specifically stressed just how big of a deal it would be, both financially and reputationally, to clinch this. He’d left out the part about Suga being the pitching producer, but it makes sense. Everyone in the business is dying to work with him.

Everyone except you, you think to yourself.

When you glance up at him, Suga is staring at you. Your mouth goes dry, and you clear your throat. “I really am so sorry I’m late.”

You expect the usual response of absolutely nothing, but he actually speaks. “You’re lucky they are too.” You exhale a small sigh of relief and he continues. “You better not embarrass me today.”

You blink twice, trying to process his thinly veiled threat, and something in your gut twists. You speak without thinking. “I’m not scared of you, Yoongi.”

There’s a glint in his eyes at your words, like maybe you should be. He leans back in his chair and you could swear he’s almost smiling.

“You know people talk around here?” You stare blankly at him. You have no idea what he means. “I just find it very interesting that Jeon Jungkook, who has never made a mistake in his life before this week, somehow managed to delete an entire recording session’s worth of files. Seems pretty out of character, wouldn’t you agree?”

Heat rushes to your face and for a second you can’t think, can’t breathe, can’t do anything but sit there and stare stupidly at him. Your heart is racing, the urge to cry already bubbling up in your chest.

The conference room door opens. Suga immediately gets to his feet with a wide smile and a formal greeting for the artist and their label reps. You rise and do the same, your face still burning with embarrassment. You pray that you can keep it together for the duration of this meeting.

Suga launches into a pitch about the track in question, and you’re thankful for the few minutes to steady your breathing as you copy down a brief transcript in your notes.

As much as you may personally dislike him, it’s still kind of amazing to see him in his element. He’s clearly done his research on this artist, and he’s able to encapsulate their entire brand in a few perfectly chosen words. You see the team glance at each other with impressed looks on their faces. Suga explains that, like all his tracks, he’s written this specifically for them, and wouldn’t give it to anyone else.

“Admin,” he turns to you and your throat constricts. “Can you please play the track I sent you?” He’s still smiling, but his eyes are cold.

“Y-yes,” you choke out, and you navigate through your inbox as fast as possible. When you search his name, dozens of messages come up, all with various demos attached, and your eyes widen. You knew you were behind on emails, but you didn’t realize he’d been sending you so many. You find the thread with the artist’s name, but there’s a lengthy list of emails to choose from under it. You press play on the first track you see.

Though you’ve never heard a proper demo before, you would’ve guessed one would be rough. But this one is really rough. The beat is way too loud, the vocals sloppy, the rhythm disjointed. The smile on Suga’s face falters and you feel sick. 

In one swift move, he reaches across the table and grabs your laptop with both hands. You jump back reflexively and helplessly watch as he pulls it towards him, turning off the track as quickly as possible.

“Whoops!” Suga’s smile returns, clearly more forced than before, as his fingers scroll your computer’s trackpad. “Sorry about that, team. Let’s try this again.” He clicks something and a far more polished version of the same song starts up.

The artist’s team listens in silence, some of them nodding along. They compliment Suga when it finishes, and there’s additional banter and exchanging of pleasantries before they agree to meet internally and send an official response over within the next week.

You don’t say a word, hoping instead that the ground might open up and swallow you. When Suga stands to see the team off as the meeting wraps, you robotically follow suit. There’s a tightness, a humming in your chest that you can’t put a name to.

It’s only once the room is emptied of everyone except you and Suga that you recognize the feeling. Underneath the shame, and the guilt, and the fear. It’s anger.

He snaps your laptop shut and silently slides it back across the table.

“Don’t touch my stuff without my permission.” You feel stupid as soon as you say it, like a little kid.

Suga huffs. “Play the right track and we won’t have that problem.”

“Why did you send me fifty versions of the same thing?! I played the first one I saw!”

He presses both palms flat on the conference table. For a split second, you think he might flip it over. His voice is deadly serious, hair falling in his eyes as he leans across the table toward you. “Because it is your job to organize them.” He tilts his head, gaze still fixed on you. “Tell me, did you look up what the position actually entailed before applying? Or did you just figure you’d wing it?”

Your stomach turns, mostly because you know he’s right. You scramble for a way to escape the blame.

“Y-you didn’t give me any prep for this meeting! Instead you wasted my time talking about some stupid mistake that I—” your voice breaks. “That Jungkook made,” you correct yourself carefully. Fuck.

At this, he laughs, sharp and bitter. “What a shame. If only we’d had more time. If only someone had purposefully set aside fifteen minutes before the client was scheduled to arrive, to ensure he’d have enough time to show the admin how to do her fucking job. Oh wait, that’s right, I did.”

His words sting like a slap to the face. It’s yet another reminder of your mistakes, your inability to get anything right. You were late and unprepared. There’s no way to twist this to make it his fault.

You grit your teeth, willing yourself not to give this horrible man the satisfaction of seeing you cry. Your voice is barely more than a whisper. “Do you need anything else, Yoongi? Or am I dismissed?”

He rolls his eyes. “Do what you want. I’m not your boss.”

Your vision blurs with tears as you grab your laptop and exit the conference room.

~*~

You drag Jimin out both Friday and Saturday night in an attempt to drink until you obliterate the memories of your latest fuck-ups. But both nights end the same, with Jimin holding your hair back while you puke your guts up in a club bathroom.

“Alright,” he says Saturday night when you’ve finally finished, using his dancer’s poise to nimbly flush the toilet with his foot. You collapse against the wall of the stall and sink to the floor in a much less graceful state. “What the hell has gotten into you?”

You wipe your nose with the back of your hand. “I think I have to quit my job.”

Jimin’s brow furrows. “What?! Why?” He slides down the wall opposite you, your legs tangling together on the bathroom floor.

You shake your head and the room spins. “I keep fucking up.”

He blinks at you, clearly waiting for more. “And…? Have you gotten in trouble about it?”

“Not really,” you groan, “but that’s because my coworker stepped in and saved my ass.”

Jimin shrugs. “That’s what good coworkers do. You’re new. Fuck-ups are to be expected. You’ll figure it out.”

“But I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Everyone feels that way when they first start a new job. It’s called impostor syndrome.”

“But Jimin!” You whine, exasperated. “I am literally an impostor!”

“Who gives a shit? As long as you’re actually trying, and learning from the mistakes you make, you’ll figure it out. You’re only a couple weeks in. It sounds like everyone’s cutting you some slack anyway.”

You hiccup a laugh. “Not everyone. I can think of one specific coworker who already hates my guts. I’m pretty sure he knows I’m a fraud, too.”

Jimin rolls his eyes. “He’s probably just a sexist jerk who thinks women are incompetent. I’m sure he’s made mistakes, too.”

You nod. “He has, I know he has. He made a really big one right before they hired me. Way worse than anything I’ve done.”

“There you go.” Jimin stands up and offers both hands to help you do the same. “Screw that asshole. I mean— don’t like, put rat poison in his coffee or anything. But just remember he’s human, same as you. Don’t let him kill your vibe.”

Your hands still clasped together, you lean into his chest for a moment, rubbing your nose against his shirt. “Thanks, Jimin.”

He slides the lock of the club bathroom stall open. “Come on, drunk girl. Let’s get you home.”

~*~

Jimin’s words are on repeat in your head all Monday, like he’s your own personal motivational speaker. You will yourself not to give up on this job.

After your last meeting of the day wraps, you decide to finally sit down and tackle your nightmare inbox. You feel like you’ve barely scratched the surface when Suga rounds the corner. 5:55 already. You wish it was professionally acceptable to crawl under your desk and hide, but you drop your gaze and hope he’ll just breeze right past like he always does.

No such luck. He approaches your desk, seemingly waiting for you to look up. Your pulse quickens as you make eye contact.

“I need to work late tonight,” he says simply. His typical blank expression looks tinged with some emotion you can’t quite name. Stress? “Can I have the key? I’ll lock up when I’m done.”

“I’m the only one authorized to have the key,” your tone comes out sharp, because you know he knows this. “I can’t give it to anyone else. I’ll get in trouble.”

“Seriously, I have a really big deadline tonight, and I’m behind.” Suga persists. He almost looks like he’s in pain.

He’s human, same as you, Jimin’s voice in your head reminds you. As much as it kills you to even think it, you sort of feel like you understand where he’s coming from. You’re drowning, too. You could easily spend another two hours in your email and not hit the bottom. And you probably will, whether he’s here or not. So would it really be that bad if he was?

Plus, you did kind of fuck up his meeting. You clench your fists under your desk, out of his line of sight. Curse your stupid conscience.

“I can’t give you the key,” you say with a sigh. “But I can do a couple more hours. But then we both have to go home.”

You see a muscle in his jaw work. “Fine.” He’s gone again before you can say anything else.

You return to your inbox. You dig through message after message, responding quickly where you can and adding everything else to an ever-growing to do list of follow-ups and deliverables. You work until your vision blurs and you never want to read another email again.

Exhausted, you slump back in your chair, stifling a yawn, and look at the clock. It’s nearly 8:30, and your stomach grumbles as if in protest. You’ve never stayed at the office this late. You try to resume work, but when it takes you over five minutes to read a two-line email, you realize your brain has shut off for the evening. You stare listlessly at the screen for a few minutes, then finally throw the towel in.

Time to go disturb the genius, you guess. Grabbing the office keys, you walk down the hallway to his lab, ringing the doorbell and then knocking in case he’s got headphones on. “It’s time to go!” You call through the door.

There’s no response, so you bang on the door harder, then try the handle. It doesn’t budge, and you glare at the number pad. How is it fair that he gets an extra lock on his door? Isn’t that a fire hazard?

“Suga!” You smack your palm flat on the door a few more times. “Come on, I’m hungry and I want to leave!”

A few more seconds, and you’re about to give up and look for a fire alarm to pull, when the door opens a crack. You can’t even see him, but you hear his voice. “Just give me ten more minutes. That’s all I need.” He sounds as tired as you feel.

You roll your eyes and stalk back down the hallway, chucking the office keys on your desk. Picking up your phone, you automatically go to call Jimin, but then remember he’s at dance practice for another hour. You chew on the inside of your cheek, scrolling over to your music library. At least that will help distract you a bit, you reason.

You put on your playlist of current favorites and turn the volume up as loud as it will go, figuring Suga probably can’t hear it but also not really caring if he can. You survey your desk— you’re definitely not doing any more work tonight, but it has become a bit of a disaster. You can take ten minutes to tidy.

You gather up all the stray papers and organize them into piles: schedules, invoices, random notes you jotted down so you wouldn’t forget. You slot them into the paper organizer you keep in the corner of your desk. Once that’s done, you start putting the big items back into their respective drawers— a stapler, a hole punch, a zillion paperclips. You drop the pens, pencils, and highlighters that you’ve also inevitably left everywhere back into your pen cup organizer.

The next song comes up on shuffle, and you laugh when you realize what it is. Cat & Dog by TXT, your guiltiest of all guilty pleasure songs. There’s still no sign of Suga, and you also don’t give a fuck what he thinks about your taste in music, so you let it play.

You sing along under your breath as you go. The song has just gotten to Yeonjun’s verse, the inarguable best part, when someone clears their throat behind you.

Shit. The sound still takes you by surprise even though you know it’ll be Suga before you whip around. How did this happen for a second time? You scramble for your phone to turn it off before they all start barking, and the movement is so frantic that you knock your pen cup off the desk at the same time.

“Fuck,” you groan. Suga makes no offer to help. Because why the fuck would he, you think bitterly to yourself. You scoot your chair back and crawl under your desk to retrieve your office supplies.

When you emerge with your pens reassembled, you do your best to smooth out your clothes and not look as flustered as you feel. Suga is standing across from you, palms resting flat on the surface of your desk.

“I need more time,” he says bluntly, and you could scream. You open your mouth to argue, but he continues before you can get a word in. “Do you like tteokbokki?”

You blink hard, mystified at his question. “What?”

“You said you were hungry. There’s a really good tteokbokki cart around the corner that stays open late. If you go and get us some, I swear, I only need like thirty more minutes. Then we can both go home.” He retrieves his wallet from his pocket and pulls out a couple bills, extending them to you. You narrow your eyes suspiciously. “Please.”

The sound of him pleading, no matter how brief, is something you never thought you’d hear in a million years. Maybe you hit your head while you were under your desk and this is all just a fever dream. But your stomach twists at the mention of food. You really are starving.

You snatch the money out of his hand and grab your purse. “Fine. But I’m keeping the change.”

It’s a brisk walk to the cart and back, but the chilly night air feels good, and the smell of the takeout bag is enough to make your mouth water on the elevator ride back up. As you step out, you shift the bag in your arms to reach into your purse. Out of habit, you dig for the keys for a few seconds before you realize you didn’t actually lock up when you left.

You wince. Probably not great, but at least Suga’s still inside.

You lean against the glass door to push it open with your shoulder, but it doesn’t budge. Weird. Maybe you locked it without even thinking about it. You set the bag of food down so you can properly dig through your purse for the keys, but you can’t find them.

Crouching down, you turn your purse inside out, dumping the contents on the carpeted floor. You sort through the pile of cosmetics products and tampons and loose receipts, starting to panic. No office keys.

It’s only once you stand up and turn to fully face the door that you see the paper sign taped to the inside. Your mouth drops open as you read the untidy scrawl.

I have your keys. Keep the food. See you tomorrow.

No. This isn’t fucking possible. You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to hold in a scream, running back through the evening in your mind.

You took your keys with you when you knocked on his office door. Then you threw them back on your desk. Then Suga snuck up behind you, and you knocked the pen cup over, and when you stood back up Suga was—

Suga was standing with his hands on your desk, you realize. Right where you’d thrown down your keys. He could’ve easily pocketed them without you noticing; you were too busy picking up all your stupid pens.

He fucking tricked you.

You push hard on the door, but of course it doesn’t give. You bang on the glass for a few seconds, if only to get your anger out, but you know it’s pointless. Licking your wounds, you shove everything back into your purse and sling it over your shoulder, then hoist the takeout bag in your arms.

Alright, Min Yoongi, you think to yourself. This means war.

chapter one | masterlist | chapter three

[littlemisslipbalm]

“I know you, Harry Styles”

Summary: Your boss asks you to quarantine at his house to watch over the place and his dog. He then calls you let you know a friend of his has gotten stuck in Los Angeles and needs a place to stay, so he has offered his friend the home that you are also going to be staying at. His friend is Harry Styles. Harry and you get to know each other while you both navigate through this uncertain time. 

I’ve had this idea for awhile and im sorry if it’s a little late now, since strict quarantine has ended (lowkey might be coming back since california has been getting bad again), but still i really liked this and wanted to write it. Also look at how cute this sidelook from Harry is in this gif ^^ :) his nose is so slopey

It hasn’t been the easiest write so no worries if y’all hate it. I might do a part 2, but def no part 3 this time, unless it gets easier to write. 

Word Count: 4.5k | Warnings: mentions of quarantine and Coronavirus (pls take care if the situation is triggering to you), language, drinking 

Enjoy! (Feedback appreciated as always)

-

You weren’t sure what to say, you didn’t want to break that bliss of him not knowing you knew. “I,” you took a sip of wine, trying to gather a bit more courage, you then laugh meekly, “I, uh, know what you do.”

“Damn…” he said. Harry also took a sip of wine, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed the gulp. “I was still debating whether I’d say that I was a musician or an accountant, y’know, something random.” You smiled, Harry was funny, you decided. 

“You’d lie to me?” you said, a hint of flirtation behind your words.

“Oh no, never.”

-

You were living in Los Angeles when the Coronavirus outbreak first arrived in the United States and California went into quarantine. You lived in a pretty small apartment in Silver Lake and you weren’t excited to be cooped in there, alone for at least the two weeks they had just announced. The governor issued that everything would be shut down by morning and you had to admit you were a little stressed. Just as you were about to walk into your apartment and lock the door, ready to shelter in, your boss and friend of yours called.

“Hey Y/N,” David said quickly over the phone, “You know how I’ve just left for England two days ago and I’m already here. Well, since I’m not a U.S. citizen, I can’t come back. Which is fine, but I was just wondering if you’d mind quarantining at my house and just watching over it? Until I can get back?”

You sighed, “Oh my god, David. I’m so sorry.” “The U.S. announced their border closure so strangely, I couldn’t have known...But it’s fine, really, I’m actually kind of happy to be home.” You nodded as if he could see you.

“So do you think you can do it? I’ve been having my neighbor check in on my dog, daily, but I’d prefer a friend to be at the house with him right now.”

“Oh! Yeah of course, I’ll pack a bag and head over right now. I’m honestly relieved you’ve given me this offer. You’re house is fucking huge and my apartment is tiny.” David chuckled at your slow response but happy tone.

You were right, David did have a nice house. His place was up in the Los Angeles Hills, a place he’d inherited from a wealthy grandparent. It was definitely going to be an upgrade for quarantine. David’s place would make it easier to be alone because of his cute little dog around, a swimming pool, a beautiful kitchen, literally anything you could have asked for.  You drove up the long driveway, to the rustic house, David refused to call a classic 70’s mansion as much as you insisted upon it.

“Guess it doesn’t matter what I call it now, huh.” You said to no one. You pulled out your spare key, David had given to you for emergencies when you had started working directly under him. You opened the door and stepped inside to the empty mansion. Checkers, David’s dog came running up to you, pawing your legs and howling his tiny voice at your arrival. You smiled, setting down your bags and grabbing Checkers from the ground. “Hi, baby!” You swung him around and he licked your face adoringly. You ruffled his fur and then placed him back on the ground, he wasn’t more than eleven pounds.

Then you went to find your bedroom. You heard your footsteps echoing throughout the empty house and it definitely felt weird. Being alone, in this big house. You wondered why you had to keep convincing yourself it was so great. Then your phone rang for the second time today. David again. You threw your bags at the foot of the guest bed and walked back through the house to the main room adjoined to the kitchen, near the front door.

“Hello?”

“Ah, Y/N, thanks for picking up! And thank you for agreeing to watch the house -”

“Yeah, of course, I’m just settling in.”

“That’s great! But, I hope you don’t mind, a friend of mine has similar luck to me. He was just supposed to be in Los Angeles for a couple days, but he’s gotten stranded there and has nowhere else to go. He’s a good friend of mine and the house is most definitely big enough for two…” He trailed off, slightly anxious to put you out, when you had already been generous enough to leave the comfort of your own place during this stressful time. “So, I told him he could stay at mine, if he didn’t mind living with a stranger.”

“I’m the stranger?” You asked, slightly confused from what David was saying.

“Yeah, yeah I mean, I told him you were a friend and that you worked with me, obviously.” You laughed with some relief, “Ok, I’ve got you. That’s fine, more than fine, he’s got nowhere to go, it’d be rude of me to say no to him joining me in this mansion,” You got a little excited and emphasized the mansion.

David groaned, but finished, “Well, great! Because I’m pretty sure he’s already on his way. Bye!” The line went dead.

You wouldn’t say you were unhappy that you were going to be sharing the house. The loneliness of the empty house had grown daunting the minute you heard your footsteps. But you realized David hadn’t even given you the name of the man you were going to be living with for supposedly the next two weeks. As well, what if you and the man didn’t get along and were at each other’s throats for two weeks.

You shook the thoughts from your mind, trying not to make any presumptions. Then, you began to put away the groceries you had brought with you from your apartment and refilled Checkers’ water bowl.

Maybe twenty minutes after your phone call with David, informing you of your quarantine housemate, the doorbell rang and you jogged lazily to the foyer with the grand front door.

In front of you stood, a man with mop of dark brown hair on his head, some large green eyes, a nice outfit, and an array of tattoos peeking out from under different parts of his clothing. Wait- you thought - this isn’t some random tall, good-looking white guy. And then it dawned on you. David would be close friends with Harry Styles. This is so typical of that man. And for him to never tell you that before. That is especially David, trying to keep this guy all to himself.

“Hi, I’m David’s friend, he said he’d call ahead and let you know, I’m ‘Arry,” he rested one of his bags on the ground and reached out to shake your hand. You blinked your eyes, still a little surprised at who your roommate was going to be, but determined to be chill about it. You then reached out your hand to meet his. You took note of the largeness of his hands and how soft they were. His hand slid perfectly in yours and his eyes intensely gazed at you in the hallway.

“Yeah, he called, I’m Y/N.” You released his hand after realizing you still had hold of it, just a touch too long. You stepped aside to let Harry bring his things into the house. “Do you need any help with your bags?” You asked quickly, not wanting to seem rude. Harry turned to you as he had just stepped into the house and was exactly beside you, he quirked his head, “Oh no, I’m alright, no need to worry about me.”

“Okay,” you simply responded and walked back into the kitchen. You had left your phone in there and still had some things to organize, David didn’t keep his house as clean or organized as you liked it. You always set to work around his house whenever you came by, no matter his protests. Music was playing from your phone over the bluetooth speakers David had in the house, a mix of random songs for the month that you had compiled a couple weeks ago. It was a mix of your favorite artists: oldies and some newer stuff. You turned it up as you got to work.

Your music played loud enough that you didn’t hear Harry walk into the kitchen. “Hey,” he said. Startled, you flipped yourself to face him, discarding the box of cereal you were moving to be with the other cereals.

“What’s up?”

“I know we don’t know each other,” Harry started. You weren’t exactly sure where he was going with this. “And I’m fine if you don’t want to really interact, but I was actually kind of excited to find out that I wasn’t going to have to be all alone in this house for two weeks.”

Your lips quirked up in about a half smile as a soft chuckle came out. You rested back on the countertop behind you, feeling more relaxed at the rest of Harry’s statement. Harry stared at your figure still taking in the stranger in front of him. You seemed fairly laid back and he liked the music he heard from the speakers, assuming it was your selection.

“Oh. Yeah,” you began, scratching your head, “I know, I was excited to not have to be in my apartment, but then when I got here I got lowkey scared of being here with just myself and Checkers.”

“Wait, Checkers is here?” Harry’s mood and tone immediately picked up, looking excitedly around for the little dog. “I think he’s outside,” you said, crossing to one of the many back doors. You called for David’s dog, you and Harry’s third roommate, and he came leaping through the door.

He ran to Harry and Harry knelt to grab the dog and pick him back up. He twirled Checkers around over his head and kept repeating “Who’s a good boy” before placing the dog on one of the couches. On the couch, Harry playfully flipped the dog on his back and scratched his belly. Checkers wiggled and opened his mouth trying to nip playfully at Harry. Harry in turn put his head right near Checkers’ and shook his own fluffy hair in the dog’s face. Checkers went wild, loving the attention he was receiving.

After a bit, Harry let Checkers go and stood up, you had been watching on amusedly, “God, I love this dog, so fucking cute,” he said. You were surprised Harry knew David well enough to know his dog, but you dismissed it. Then, you laughed and agreed with him.

“Well, do you want to get to know each other over dinner tonight?” Harry inquired as you walked back into the kitchen, still trying to finish your self-given task of cleaning it up. “Sure, why not?”

-

It was the dinner time you and Harry had agreed upon. You had showered and unpacked over the past few hours. Harry, from what you knew, had done the same. You two hadn’t talked much more since he had suggested the dinner. The guest room he had chosen was on the second floor, like yours, just down the hall. After checking the time on your phone, you left your room and went downstairs. You found Harry on the couch with Checkers, reading a book. You tapped his shoulder from behind the couch and he turned his head to look up at you. “We said 7, right?” He snapped his book shut after raising her brows, coming out of a reading trance. “Oh, yeah,” he responded, rising from his seat and heading to the kitchen. You followed after him, “So what do you want to eat. I brought some groceries with me so we could cook something or there’s always take out.”

Harry opened the fridge, “Let’s make something, yeah?” He leaned back from the inside of the fridge and threw a smile to you over his shoulder. He was very confident and charismatic in person you had noticed just from the few odd moments you had spent with him already. You liked his music and felt like you should tell him you knew who he was, but you also liked the feeling you got that you were just two normal people living together for a little.

“Alright,” you began, walking to his side to look into the fridge as well, “Any requests, Harry?”

You looked up at his face, he was quite tall, taller than you had really thought. He was a really big figure up close, slightly intimidating if you were being honest. He simply demanded attention just with his presence, something strong emanating from him. You could see that strength in the lines of his jaw, lined in stubble, his green eyes set deeper in his head, the sinews in his neck. In every part of his body, there was strength, yet he spoke with a kindness about him. You were extremely interested in getting to know more about him, for this very reason. How could such a big, intimidating man in size and presence be known for being so kindhearted and in touch with himself and the world? What was his secret?

Harry simply began to remove various items from the fridge, placing them down on the island behind the two of you. He only said in response to your previous question, “Like Mexican?” You nodded and laughed, you’d grown up on Mexican food.

“I was thinking fajitas would be good, what do you think?”

“Yeah, absolutely, how can I help?”

Harry grinned at your attitude, he could tell you were the really fun, easy-going type of person. He was glad you weren’t being weird with him, even if he was a stranger. He finished taking the ingredients from the fridge and then gave you instructions on what he needed help with. The two of you set to work, this time it was Harry’s music playing over the speakers.

-

You sat at the dining table in the next room over from the kitchen and seating area. Harry had told you to go ahead as he finished your plates of food. Moments later, he walked into the room holding the plates. “Ta-da!” He exclaimed while presenting the two plates of food, that looked admittedly, very tasty.

He had changed his outfit from earlier and you were just now noticing. Earlier, it had been a striped dress shirt that he had dressed down with rolled up sleeves and half of the buttons undone, revealing a nice string of pearls, with navy high waisted trousers that cinched at his slender waist. Now, he was in a simple purple knit sweater and brown corduroy flares, still wearing the pearls around his neck. Neither of you were wearing shoes, both wearing only socks. And while Harry might consider that to be a more casual outfit, you were in leggings and a hoodie with a sun on it that you had thrifted awhile ago.

He sat down across from you after placing one plate on the placemat in front of you. The dining table was huge, meant for dinner parties and entertaining, not a traveler and a young employee. You took a bite and hummed in appreciation, but then said, “Wait.”

Harry stopped eating and looked at you, concerned there was something wrong with his cooking. “Red wine,” you stated. Harry’s worried face grew into a grin. “Red wine,” he echoed in agreement and nodded his head. You hopped up from your seat and ran into the kitchen, looking for the cabinet David kept his wine in.

After finding a reasonable Malbec, a favorite red of yours, you grabbed an opener, two glasses, and went back into the dining room where the munching Harry awaited. He was happily chewing his food as he gazed at you as you placed the glasses between your plates, uncorked the bottle with ease, and grabbed the glasses once more to pour the wine.

Finally, you sat down and said, “To whatever the fuck we are about to get ourselves into.” Harry laughed and offered a “Salud” in response. The two of your glasses clinked and you both drank, afterwards setting off to eat your food.

As you ate, you began to talk. Harry started, “So, you work with David?” while taking his fork and stabbing at a cooked bell pepper slice. You finished chewing, “Ah, yeah, he’s my boss. But we work pretty closely, I’m kind of like a personal assistant, but I do more than just his scheduling and errands.” Harry nods.

You weren’t sure what to say, you didn’t want to break that bliss of him not knowing you knew. “I,” you took a sip of wine, trying to gather a bit more courage, you then laugh meekly, “I, uh, know what you do.”

“Damn…” he said. Harry also took a sip of wine, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed the gulp. “I was still debating whether I’d say that I was a musician or an accountant, y’know, something random.” You smiled, Harry was funny, you decided. “You’d lie to me?” you said, a hint of flirtation behind your words.

“Oh no, never. I would’ve definitely just told you who I was if you didn’t know, but it’s nice to pretend for a little.” He grinned as he said the words, his elbow resting on the table with his wine glass in hand. You ate some more, letting his words linger in the air. It’s nice to pretend for a little.

“Well,” you finally said, “I won’t give you any special treatment, if that’s what you’re implying. As far as I’m concerned, you’re just a guy staying at the same house as me. Doesn’t matter to me what you do to pay your bills.”

Harry liked that. You were very intriguing, the way you spoke to him. Especially now that he was sure that you knew about his music and celebrity. “You make it sound like I’m a sex worker or something naughty!” he said, feeling more comfortable with you with the more time that passed and the more wine he had.

“It’s kind of the same thing...providing a service - that your body is an essential part of providing it properly.” You stated smugly, looking over at Harry from behind the rim of your glass. “And there’s nothing wrong with sex workers,” you added.

“You’re right,” he stopped, wanting to continue the conversation, but confused how to move on from sex workers. “So what do you think of my music?”

“I thought you wanted to be treated like you weren’t a celebrity,” you countered.

“That’s out the window, c’mon,” he said, leaning forward.

“You just want me to boost your ego,” you smirked, liking the banter that was coming so easily between you two, “Like I said, I know you, Harry Styles.”

He scoffed at your teasing and rolled his eyes. He wasn’t actually annoyed, he was enjoying this. “Then you’re a fan, huh?” Not letting it go without you saying how you felt about his music.

“Fine,” you sang slightly, shifting in your seat. “Your music,” you paused again, enjoying Harry eager to hear your opinion and you being in control, “is better than a lot of other modern stuff considered good by today’s standards.”

“So you like it?” He said slowly. That was probably the most roundabout, vague compliment he had ever heard. He picked at his almost empty plate, still staring at you.

You tilted your head and placed it on your palm, looking to the sky as if you were thinking about his question hard. Finally, you shifted your head in your palm so you were looking at Harry wearily. Then you shut one eye and said, “I guess,” before shrugging your shoulders as if you didn’t care at all. Harry let a single blow of air out of his nose, like a short laugh, before standing and taking both of your plates. As he walked out of the room he whistled lowly, “You are such a tease, Y/N.”

He disappeared into the kitchen and you heard him cleaning up. You were about to call out to him and say how he didn’t have to do the cleaning since he did the majority of the cooking, but then your eyes fell to the half drunk bottle of wine. Normally, you’d re-cork it and drink the rest at a later date, but it was still early in the evening and you and Harry literally had nowhere to go. Also, the two of you hadn’t gotten past the work question of getting to know you. There was still a bit more to learn about each other and you were happy to continue to discuss over wine.

Harry reemerged from the kitchen and you held up the wine bottle to him and waved it, “We need to finish this.”

“Have I told you yet that I like the way you think?” Harry walked over and grabbed the bottle from your hand. He quickly poured both your glasses much fuller than the usual standard glass of wine. When you eyed him curiously about the heavy pour, he only shrugged practically saying it’s just us drinking it who cares if we fill up our glasses extra full.

“No you haven’t, but I like the way I think too! I’m very smart you know,” you said with some play in your voice as you walked through a doorway that led to the sitting room. Harry trailed behind, bringing the now less than full bottle with him. You both sat yourselves on the couch, a fair amount of space between the two of you, not too close, but not too far apart either.

You both took long gulps of the wine. You were starting to feel a little warm from it, but you enjoyed where the wine was taking your conversation so you weren’t planning on stopping. Harry’s big green eyes squinted slightly at you from behind his wine glass, similar to how you had done earlier. He lowered it and licked his lips. There was definite tension between the two of you right now. Maybe you both had realized the implications of being alone with a stranger for two weeks with no interruptions and no distractions. Whatever it was, it was intoxicating because all you wanted to do was keep teasing Harry and have him keep baiting you.

Harry asked a question suddenly, breaking the silent staring that had been going on. And the tension was broken the two of you continuing your getting to know you for the rest of the night. By eleven, the bottle was empty and forgotten on the coffee table and you and Harry had scooted closer. You had similar likes and dislikes when it came to music. You talked about fashion and what it was like to get to wear top designers all the time - Harry being the wearer, not you sadly. You asked him what it was like to tour and he asked you more about your job and living in Los Angeles, how it was to not walk around the place and be bombarded with people. Then, you circled back to travel.

“I’ve been lucky enough to travel a lot in my life, too. I traveled with my family as a kid and I made sure my job would have me traveling around, too.”

“Oh, yeah?” Harry took the last sip of his wine and set the glass down, readjusting himself to lean on his arm on the couch, looking at you.

“Was supposed to be with David in England, actually, but I got held up and was going to join him next week,” you mused, finishing your wine as well and leaning your body so your back was fully against the back cushion.

“No way, I was supposed to leave next week, too. Who knows, maybe we would have been on the same plane and crossed paths like that without even knowing,” Harry said excitedly.

You rolled your head to the right and looked at his face, how it had lit up at that unlikely prospect. “You probably wouldn’t have known, but I’m sure I would’ve been able to tell, probably have a whole crowd of fans there waiting for you, end up having to delay the plane for ya’. And I’d be sitting there like ‘which famous prick is holding us up?”

“Oi!” he swatted at your leg closest to him, “Has anyone told you you’re a bit mean.”

You raised your brows at his physical contact and his words. You shifted to your side again and slid your legs beneath you, looking directly at Harry. “Yes,” you said seriously.

Harry laughed at that. At least you were honest, and you were funny, too. You joined his laughter, it felt contagious, the way his voice was so loud, but so jovial. His eyes managed to twinkle even as he squinted, his smile taking over his entire face.

Without either of you noticing, the two of you had shifted extremely close to one another. You finally realized because you felt Harry’s breath fanning over your face. His breath smelled of Malbec, but his over scent mixed with it and turned it into something enticing. You wanted to lean in more, but the only place further to go was his lips.

Harry’s eyes flickered to meet yours, confused yet delighted about the situation he had somehow gotten himself in. The two of you breathing in each other, chests heaving from laughter, hearts beating from wine, and bodies ready to ignite the minute they touched. You remained there for a few moments more, basking in his glow.

And then you whispered, “I should go to bed.” You pulled away and retreated upstairs to your room. Harry was left there, sitting stunned at the whole situation. How had that happened? And what had you just stopped from happening?  You were thinking the very same things as you sat down on your bed and calmed your breathing.

This was going to be a long two weeks.

-

Part 2

taglist: @cronias13, @theresthingsthatwellneverknow, @harrys-cherrry, 

[tiaragqueen]

Hello is it possible to have a yandere Dazai and Chuuya with their f!crush who is a spy? (Dark era period please and thank you)

I, Spy [HCs]

Do not re-upload my writing to another website or use it without my permission.

It certainly won't end... well. Also, I'm not sure if you want me to merge them or not, so I wrote it separately.

If you like my writing, please support me on ko-fi!

Dazai Osamu

🎭 Very few things can elude his keen perception, and unfortunately, you’re not one of them. Dazai knows that you’re hiding something from everyone, and his suspicion only grows when you deliberately avoid him despite his attempts to do otherwise. Certainly, you’re not oblivious to his infamy and intelligence and your boss has warned you repeatedly to minimize any contact with him. You won’t deny that you find him eerie, too. There’s a shadow that lingers just behind the fake glint of excitement whenever he sees you, and the temperature always seems to drop at his arrival. It feels like there’s a black cloud that follows him everywhere, darkening the once neutral atmosphere.

🎭 Regardless, it doesn’t cease his efforts in the slightest.

🎭 Dazai will flirt with you relentlessly, pushing certain buttons hard enough to make you crack. Almost. You have a formidable composure, he gives you that. And because of this, his advance becomes more aggressive as he insists on accompanying you wherever you go. On one hand, you dread the prospect of spending more time with him outside work. You have enough enduring his bizarre antics and questionably amorous actions. And yet, on the other hand, you won’t deny that you’re somewhat… flattered with the attention. To think that you manage to grab his interest – someone so elusive and whimsical – is certainly a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

🎭 Make no mistake, though. Dazai doesn’t do anything without a reason. His flirtation is just there to cover his true intent; gathering intel about you. As much as he hates the Mafia sometimes, it’s the only place someone like him belongs to, and eliminating a spy is still a part of his duty. And he’s certain that sooner or later, Mori will order him to get rid of you, anyway.

🎭 Once he finishes putting down the last piece of the puzzle, Dazai will confront you. He’ll probably take you to a dimly lit alleyway under the pretense of walking you home because he’s nice like that. You’ve protested, saying that you’re strong enough to protect yourself. But Dazai has insisted with a charming smile and said that it won’t be gentlemanly of him to let a lady walk alone at night. Your quick surrender proves to be a fatal blunder, not that you’ll be able to fight him otherwise.

🎭 And when you inquire him about why he takes you to an alleyway instead of the main road (your heart has long thundered from embarrassment to apprehension), you feel a cool metal pressed against the back of your head. Dazai smirks, his eye already losing its light. Under the moonlight, that brown iris appears sparkling in red as he exposes you. Every plan that you’ve concocted, every secret call and message to your boss, everything that you’ve worked so hard to hide and compile are revealed and mocked callously.

🎭 You don’t know if it’s a good thing that he doesn’t bring his henchmen with him, but you’re certain that the outcome will be the same anyway. You’ll lie on the ground, bullet lodges in your skull as blood pours under your head. Or maybe he’ll torture you first. Whichever works the best for him.

🎭 But then, Dazai suddenly offers you a chance to live if you fake your death and go with him instead, essentially aborting your mission. The proposal sounds too good to be true, but you fear his torture more than the implication of his words.

🎭 Thus, you make another fatal blunder in your life.

🎭 Dazai's placid smirk widens when you tentatively places your hand in his. Intertwining your fingers together, he helps you stand up and compliments you for your ‘brilliant choice’.

🎭 And you soon learn that death is actually better than the life you’ll share with him.

Chuuya Nakahara

🍷 Chuuya isn’t very perceptive like Dazai, but he’s not stupid, either. Unlike his partner, though, the redhead is slightly more willing to give chances to other members. He knows that the people who work in Port Mafia aren’t pure, so he’s able to look past their flaws if they prove themselves enough. Chuuya isn’t needlessly cruel, either. And although there are times when he’s busy complaining about Dazai’s attitude, his company is generally pleasant to be around. Honestly, it doesn’t take a long time for you to grow close to each other, especially after he sees your abilities and decides that you’re worthy of his attention.

🍷 He’s not really aware that his interest has shifted to the romantic territory. Either Kouyou points this out to him, claiming that he’s been distracted lately, or when he’s inebriated and thinks about how lonely his apartment suddenly feels. If the former happens, Chuuya will vehemently deny it, but he’s not fooling anyone. Dazai will tease him endlessly, relishing the way his face grows hot from both anger and embarrassment. He jokingly threatens to ‘take you somewhere far’ and has more than one occasion interrupted your time together with the redhead, provoking his legendary wrath.

🍷 Eventually, Chuuya will be forced to confront his feelings when he accidentally stumbled upon you calling someone in a hushed voice. He’s quick to hide behind the corner, listening to you talking about everything that has happened in the Mafia lately. He’s heard Dazai flippantly warned him that you’re ‘more than what you look’, but Chuuya didn’t think too much about it. Why would that bandaged bastard suddenly be nice to him? He’s not dumb. If you’re acting suspicious, he’ll know it for sure. He’s the one who asked Mori to pair you up together, after all.

🍷 But Chuuya finally learns that emotions have clouded his judgment, and Dazai’s warning has been a much-needed slap of reality all long. He was just too blind to see it.

🍷 Stepping out of the darkness, Chuuya solemnly inquires you about the caller. You startle and quickly reassures him that it was just your father. He’s not easily convinced, however. With a swish of cold breeze, he materializes before you and lifts you by the neck. Your phone drops to the ground as you choke on your breath, begging him to release you. But he couldn’t; he couldn’t do that, not after everything you’ve done to him.

🍷 You’ve betrayed him. You’ve betrayed the organization that he loves so much. You’ve played with his heart, his trust, and most of all, his feelings.

🍷 And he can’t forgive you for that.

🍷 Oddly enough, Chuuya can’t bring himself to kill you even if he wants to. He knows that he needs to do it. It’s only fair, after all. But Chuuya merely stares at your gaping expression, ignoring the way you desperately claw his wrist to gain his attention.

🍷 Maybe this isn’t too late. Maybe he can convince you that there’s a better life out there. A life with him, far away from anyone who may poison your mind even further.

🍷 Yes, he nods to himself, he likes that. The idea of coming home to your embrace after a long, painful day. Or doing domestic things together, like a married couple. The thought alone nearly warms his cheeks had he didn’t feel your weakening pulse in his grasp.

🍷 Unceremoniously dropping you to the ground, you inhale as much air as possible. Chuuya joins you and wraps his arms around your heaving body, chin resting atop your head. He pats your back and reassures you that everything will change now. You don’t have to do anything anymore. You don’t have to work for anyone anymore.

🍷 You just have to devote your whole attention to him from now on, as compensation for letting you live.

[kimchi-noodles]

[Interview] Meychan on his second solo album, “daimeywaku”

”A ‘Total Nuisance’ apearing once in a lifetime, Meychan

Original article from natalie.mu Translation by noodle

Meychan released his newest album entitled “daimeywaku (‘Total Nuisance’ in English),” composed of all original songs.

Meychan, who has performed in large scale events such as “XYZ TOUR,” “Hikikomori-tachi Demo Fes ga Shitai!,” and more, and is also a member of the Youtuber unit “Niku Chomoranma,” has already gained fame with this wide range of activities. This second solo album from him contains songs that showcases his hobbies and preferences, including songs written by Meychan himself, a collaboration song with BRADIO entitled “Horebo Revolution” that materialized from an offer, as well as original songs from vocalo-P’s that Meychan himself had handpicked. In this exclusive, we look into the new generation utaite Meychan’s charm, unravelling how he became a vocalist, his thoughts on his songs, and his stance about his content.

(Full interview under the cut!)

Started singing after failing entrance exams

──How did Meychan decide to start a career in music?

I started singing under the name “Meychan” as a hobby when I was a 3rd year in middle school, but I didn’t start because I was aiming for something big. I had failed my high school entrance exams then, and when I went home I recorded a cover for no reason. After that, my mother entered my room screaming. That was really intense (laughs). She was like, “My son is singing with a loud voice after failing his entrance exams!” (laughs).

──After that, you continued uploading “utattemita” videos during your high school and college days, right?

That’s right. I was uploading songs during high school, but honestly I still wasn’t serious about it then. I guess I was only doing it for self-satisfaction. I started to change when I was in college, when I gained more people who listen to me. I was able to do more things ever since I became a college student, so I also tried to independently organize my own oneman live show. For the first time, I got the chance to earn money by singing, so I think I started becoming more serious about my own singing at the time.

──This is the second time you released a solo album with “daimeywaku” (‘Total Nuisance’ in English). Your first solo album (“Meychan no Atama no Naka wa Daitai Konna Kanji Desu,” ‘Meychan’s Thoughts Sound Roughly Like This’ in English) would be around 3 years ago, but has Meychan’s surroundings undergone huge changes within those 3 years?

Let’s see... I became a Youtuber, and my solo live shows have become more frequent…… It’s only obvious that so much has changed in 3 years, and the way I think about my activities have also changed. My thoughts on being an utaite have sprouted from something I did as an extension of my hobbies, to something that lets me face music as a job. Three years ago, my first album was still an extension of my hobbies, but a huge part of it was about me enjoying being an utaite, so because I enjoyed being an utaite, I was thankfully offered a chance to make a CD. I’ve never made a CD before that, so I only gathered songs that I liked, and eventually completed the album called “Meychan no Atama no Naka wa Daitai Konna Kanji Desu.” 

──Was there a trigger behind you changing your mind about your activities?

There were a lot of factors leading up to it, but one of the biggest factors was probably getting to join “XYZ TOUR.” I’ve been in a few compilation live shows before then, but the consciousness of the performers in XYZ TOUR are way different. The commitment to the lights and sound is also not a joke. I realized “Ah, so there are people who make up a single event while being fixated on such things,” so I’ve come to make up my mind that I also want to be able to reach that level.

An explosive power behind negative feelings

──The biggest difference between the this and the previous album is that you also recorded songs that you yourself wrote for this album, right? Have you already written your own songs before this?

I was interested in writing songs, and I originally had a guitar. But when I decided to actually write songs, I also started learning the piano to polish my musical sense, and started studying about chord progressions. At the same time I also thought about writing lyrics, so in three years, I scribbled down notes about my thoughts on a notepad. The first song I finished was “Victor.”

(Link: VICTOR)

──You uploaded the song “Victor” in April last year, right? How was the feedback upon uploading your own song?

I felt really uneasy before uploading it, you know. I only ever uploaded covers until then, so I only released songs that listeners already know about. But releasing my own song…… this is something trivial, but that means I’ll have everyone listen to something they haven’t even listened to before, right? I was uncertain whether they’ll be able to accept it properly, so I was really nervous upon its release. But if I was going to choose a profession to sing as an artist, I felt that it’s extremely important for me to have everyone understand what I think using songs. That’s why I didn’t have any reservations at all about releasing my own song.

──Were you already thinking about the album when you produced Victor?

I already decided that I would be making an album, but I haven’t drawn out a concrete plan for the contents of the album yet. I got a suggestion saying “All of the songs would be written by Meychan,” but I responded with “No, that’s definitely impossible.” But when I finished the song “Victor,” I felt like I started seeing that kind of album I wanted to make.

──What kind of vision did you have then?

First, when I tried writing one song, I already knew that making an album only with my own songs would be difficult (laughs). But I still wanted to express myself properly with the album, so I thought I should put in everything that I liked and wanted to work on. In its roots, it doesn’t differ much from my previous album, but the things that I can do and want to do have also changed in three years, so even with the same theme, I’m certain that the contents of this album are still different.

──Reading the lyrics of the songs you wrote, I felt that there was a gap between them and Meychan’s public image. Meychan has a strong image of brightness and cheerfulness, but it was as if there was something dark hiding in your lyrics.

Ah, I see. I guess there were several dark parts in the lyrics (laughs). I think I’m still that cheerful being that everyone thinks I am. Whenever I express myself, it’d be easy to produce an output from happy feelings. Like if when a friend gets drunk and enjoys himself, he’d be able to express himself without hiding his feelings. But negative emotions like hate or hidden ill feelings are things that I feel are still stored inside me. Rather than happy emotions, I think that those negative feelings stored inside have a stronger explosive power. In order to get to know me as a human being, I felt that I needed to express those powerful parts within me.

──That means that a different face from what Meychan uses in live shows or streams is in this song, doesn’t it.

Honestly speaking, showing these hidden emotions is embarrassing. There may be people who’d say that they didn’t understand what I’m saying even if they read the lyrics. But I think it still means something to at least read them to try to understand them, and since I chose to work on expressing myself through songs and words, getting others to know me as a human being is extremely important to me. I can’t just keep on saying that it’s embarrassing, I guess.

A “Total Nuisance” that exceeds all genres

──The 3 songs that Meychan wrote, which are “Victor,” “Unusual,” and “Yomaigoto” are all different, and are rich in variety. When I listened to “Victor,” I thought that maybe Meychan’s musical roots were founded in guitar rock, but I suppose it’s not just that.

While I do like guitar rock, I’m actually the type who listens to anything. For example, the song “10-9,” which was written by K.F.J., was released using Maroon 5 as a reference. Recently I’ve been into Ulfuls, and Caravan Palace if you’ll ask about Western music…… I also love funky music, just like BRADIO-san who has also taken care of me in this album.

I gave them a desperate attack, you know. I didn’t expect them to give me the OK.

──Why did you think of giving BRADIO-san a collaboration offer?

This is only my impression, but I think that songs with vague meanings that let listeners give their own interpretations have been popular lately. But BRADIO-san sings songs that are straightforward. That was something I couldn’t do, since it was so cool. I was very much attracted to it.

──What sort of order did you decide on for the collab?

I love the songs from BRADIO-san that have self-repeating riffs like “Koshi Furu Yoru wa Kimi no Sei” or “Golden Liar.” I put together my favorite songs in that pattern and sent them a message with them saying, “I would like to do a song that will help listeners enjoy themselves.”

──And you were also able to perform with BRADIO-san on stage.

I couldn’t make sense of it anymore. The people I used to listen to using earphones are suddenly standing next to me, and are even singing with me while we look at each other. It was so unreal, that I thought that it was all a dream until now. I really did not expect to be able to perform with them in a live show, and I think I might have been a “total nuisance” to BRADIO-san in a lot of ways (laughs).

Speechless about “Number Nine”

──Aside from your own songs and a collaborative song, the album also includes original songs provided by vocalo-P’s such as Tsumiki-san, buzzG-san, Hachiya Nanashi-san, Hayashikei-san, and more. Was it Meychan who chose all of them?

That’s right. I had the honor to choose my favorite composers, and give them offers.

──I mentioned earlier that the lyrics that Meychan writes are dark, but even if you read the lyrics of the songs written by these composers, there are still little songs that show a brighter side.

Now that you mention it, you may be right. Even if they sound cheerful, you can say that the lyrics also hide shadows behind them…...

──Do you usually interact with these composers?

Actually, not much. Of course, I’m acquainted with some of them, but it’s not as if I have connections with several producers, too. This time, the people I asked were people that I usually listen to because I like their music.

──So that you’re saying that these composers wrote these songs while properly looking at your nature as an artist from your songs.

Professionals really are amazing (laughs). When the names of the composers I asked came out, I already had an image of what all of the songs in the tracklist would be like, so I gave them the order expressing how I imagine the songs to be, but I didn’t say much about the lyrics so it must have been a surprise.

──Which of the songs (from the vocalo-Ps) left an impression on you?

Obviously I like all of them, but the one that I thought was amazing was Tsumiki-san’s “Number Nine.” When I first received the song I didn’t even say anything. I didn’t say something like “Please do something like this”; rather, I immediately told him “This will do, thank you!”

“XYZ” is home

──The DISC 2 of the XYZP Edition of the album includes a collaboration song with XYZ TOUR members. You’ve been performing with them several times in live shows, but this is the first time you’ve recorded a collaboration song with them, right?

That’s right. We’ve sung together lots of times in live shows, but recording a song with them felt pretty refreshing. It’s different from usual and here we get to face the song objectively, so I discovered various things. Things like vocal compatibility, or where to put aside someone’s voice, where to add them. I learned a lot, and I think that this will help out with live shows as well. 

──What do you think about your collaboration partners, which are Gero-san, luz-san, Senra-san, and Araki-san?

They’re all my senpais. Gero-san was someone I really admire. luz-san is a senpai who is also my benefactor, always calling me in for XYZ TOUR, while Senra-san and Araki-san are senpais who I often drink with in private. Rather than calling them senpais, they might be more like my drinking buddies (laughs).

──After joining XYZ TOUR for the first time in 2017, Meychan has been joining the tour every year, but how much has the tour affected your activities?

It’s become something I couldn’t wait for, like a kid who couldn’t wait for Christmas. Whenever an XYZ season approaches, I would get all giddy about it. I’ve been doing various activities, but for me, this is the only other place where I can feel like I’m “home.”

──“Hikikomori-tachi demo Fes ga Shitai! ~World Domination @ MetLife Dome,” which was held in June last year, also had Meychan as a secret guest performer, surprising the audience.

Various senpais got to hook me up for the event, so it was a huge honor. People have started paying attention to internet artists, but not everyone from the newer generation utaites get to be noticed. I hope I can be someone who could serve as a bridge between those two groups, in a good way.

──What do you think was the reason your senpais invited you to perform with your voice at such a large-scale event, out of all the new generation vocalists?

That’s a difficult question. I wouldn’t know the reason why they would take me in unless I ask them myself, but I feel like it’s because I’ve worked hard to continue being an utaite that I’ve also gained listeners. “Utaites” originally used to refer to people who upload “utattemita” videos. But recently, there aren’t a lot of people who upload “utattemita” videos anymore. That’s because of certain circumstances like the increase of people uploading original songs, but still I do what I have to do to keep being an “utaite.”

“Utaite Meychan,” now also “NikuChomo Meychan”

──I would also like to hear about the Youtuber unit you’re in, Niku Chomoranma. Your activities in Niku Chomoranma have also become part of your orbit, but there are also people who discover your music because of your activities as a Youtuber, right?

That’s right. If anything there are now more people who’d call me out on the street with “NikuChomo Meychan” instead of “Utaite Meychan.”

──Excluding your Youtuber activities though, you’ve also revealed your face at an earlier stage of your career.

If I don’t show my face, everyone would try to imagine what I look like. They probably wouldn’t help but imagine “He’s definitely a hottie!” or something. That’s why I thought of lowering that hurdle and revealed my face at a fairly early stage of my career. I think it wasn’t awkward for people to see me become a Youtuber thanks to me showing my face, so I want to praise myself from that time for making that decision (laughs).

Being a nuisance more than he expected

──Since you’re releasing the album “daimeywaku” now that your career is on a roll, what kind of album did this become for Meychan?

I think it’s become an album that “I just did.” I freely wrote down my own thoughts, and asked composers for songs that I wanted them to write. I also had the honor to have people accept my collaboration offer when they probably wouldn’t do it in the past. There were a lot of people who got involved with me and I said a lot of stuff that I might have been a nuisance to them more than I expected (laughs). But of course, I’m happy that everyone worked with me, and I’m grateful.

──What was a moment when Meychan became a total nuisance during the production of the album?

Basically the fact that I woke up late and arrived at the recording pretty late. I deeply apologize for being a total nuisance during that time (bows down in apology to the staff).

[nadziejastar]

Ansem’s Report 2

It is my duty to expose what this darkness really is. I shall conduct the following experiments:

Extract the darkness from a person’s heart.

Cultivate darkness in a pure heart.

Both suppress and amplify the darkness within.

The experiments caused the test subject’s heart to collapse, including those of the most stalwart. How fragile our hearts are! My treatment produced no signs of recovery. I confined those who had completely lost their hearts beneath the castle.

Some time later, I went below and was greeted by the strangest sight. Creatures that seemed born of darkness…What are they? Are they truly sentient beings? Could they be the shadows of those who lost their hearts in my experiments?

That’s what I’ve been thinking a lot about. Was he trained as an assassin from the beginning? Or was he turned into that after becoming an Organization member since it just happened to fit his skills? I’m leaning towards afterwards. I think they originally just wanted to experiment on the darkness of the heart to create vessels. I don’t think they needed a specifically trained assassin until they formed Organization XIII. It’s possible that they tried to force Lea kill other subjects against his will to awaken the darkness inside of him. These are what the experiments entailed. We saw Xehanort extract darkness from Ven. So, it wouldn’t be too outlandish to think subjects were forced to eliminate the “weaklings” to amplify their darkness.

Secret Ansem Report 2

I have made a grave mistake. My study of the “darkness of the heart” began with a simple psychological test and quickly snowballed. Spurred on by my youngest apprentice, Ienzo, I constructed a massive laboratory in the basement of my castle. Unbeknownst to me, my six apprentices then began collecting a large number of subjects on which to perform dangerous experiments into the “darkness of the heart." As soon as I found out, I called my apprentices together and ordered them not only to cease their studies, but to destroy the results of their research thus far.

This is Report 2 from KH2.

Secret Report 4: Experiments of the Heart – Notes on Subject X, Excerpt 2

Subject’s memories have not returned, and our conversations remain less than lucid. My pilot studies used a handful of subjects, but none possessed the fortitude to endure them. Ultimately, all suffered mental collapse. I knew it would be a heavy blow to lose a subject as unique as she. Upon discovering the tests I’ve been conducting, my master demanded that I cease my work immediately and destroy what research I have compiled. Worse still, he ordered the release of my remaining subjects. She is gone. Where is Subject X now? Has "wise” Master Ansem hidden her away? Whatever the case, I will not be deterred.

And this is Report 2 on Subject X. They are all connected. I’m starting to think that maybe Subject X was an anomaly and they only realized how unique he was afterwards. Maybe the original plan was to go for Lea and amplify his darkness as much as they could so they could turn him into a vessel. There’s a lot of reasons I think that the apprentices might have thought Isa was useless originally, because he was weak and couldn’t fight. (I’ll explain why later on). Lea might have been the intended target. He had a very strong heart, and a lot of potential for darkness.

“No. It is because you are trying to hold it in. Let the dark impulses waken in the pit of your heart. Release them, here and now! Sharpen your fear into rage!” Xehanort shouted to Ventus.

I don’t know how to. There’s nothing like that in me.

I can’t change my fear into rage. I’m just scared.

Isa probably had a LOT of fear, but very little rage. Lea was capable of a LOT of rage, but as we see he is very strong-minded and can be VERY fearless.

“Destroy him!? Wait, please, that’s way too fast!” Axel shot back, instantly, the organisation members’ eyes concentrated on him.

“It’s an order. Why are you hesitating? Aren’t you the one who mercilessly punishes those who turn their backs on the organisation?” Xaldin said, from the third chair. Xemnas’ expression was hidden under the hood, like the others.

“He hasn’t turned his back. He just can’t come back yet!”

“If he does not return, he will be punished. If you go against this order, it’s you who will be punished,” said Xaldin, as spears floated up beside him, pointing right at Axel. Axel glared at Xaldin, and tension flowed thick in the air.

Xaldin’s spear stabbed with force into Axel’s chair.

But, Axel didn’t move.

Axel reused to budge an inch when Xaldin threatened him and then sent the lance right next to his head. He just glared at him. Xemnas had to step in and do the threatening because he knew Axel hated Xaldin and didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of showing fear. So not only is he fearless, he is defiant. He wouldn’t have followed orders to kill other innocent people unless they had a way to compel him to do so. And I think that’s the only reason they kept Isa around for so long. Lea would follow “icky” orders to protect Isa.

Roxas: Look at the way the stones have been kicked up. Another sign the beast fought the Heartless?

Xaldin: And also a sign that his power far exceeds anything I anticipated...Perfect.

Lea didn’t become a Heartless during the experiments. He can open dark corridors as a human. He was one of the only two subjects remaining at the end (other than Isa). He was kept around even though Xemnas knew he was a traitor and eliminated Vexen, who was doing good work on the Replicas. Lea HAD to have been thought of as special by the apprentices.

Roxas: It’s pretty here.

Xaldin: How would you compare it to the rest of the castle?

Roxas: Hmm… It’s brighter, I guess. Most of the castle’s pretty dark.

The ballroom was special because it was the brightest part of the castle. It’s where the Beast danced with Belle. It was special to him.

“There are Heartless here as well, but I see no damage to indicate a struggle. The only conclusion is that he is avoiding this part of the castle. Although it, too, is stained dark with despair. Like the Beast’s own heart,” Xaldin remarked with a faint smile.

What’s that supposed to mean? Roxas pondered the question as they left the ballroom and climbed more stairs.

But Xaldin got all creepy and said it would be dark with his despair. Lea was probably viewed similarly to how the Beast was by Xaldin. Lea had a strong heart because Isa was his light in he darkness. Even if they forced Lea to kill other subjects, he never gave himself over to darkness. So the apprentices were getting desperate. There was probably a parallel scenario to Roxas and Xion, where they would only need one of them. If they targeted Isa, then Lea would be filled with despair. Isa was his weakness.

“We will conquer hearts and make them our own. Hearts shall never again have power over us.”

For the past few days, he had been mulling over what Xemnas could have meant by that speech. Hearts having power over them? What was that about?

Whenever Axel was whiling away the hours by himself, that phrase kept bouncing around in his head. He didn’t know what was so compelling about it. Did the other Nobodies think about stuff like this?

Hearts, emotions… He couldn’t stop thinking about where it all came from. He chewed over the possibilities, coming up with theories. Since when had he been a philosopher?

There’s also the direct connection between Axel and Xaldin.

Day 119: Hearts and Emotion

Watching that foolish beast flail about only deepens my disdain for humans and their incessant need to be pinned down by feelings. We became Nobodies precisely to avoid the shackles of emotion. It was only later that we realized the scale of that loss: that some things simply cannot be done without a heart. Nonetheless, I see nary a pleasant thing about it.

Xaldin’s report sounds so much like what Axel was thinking on Day 117 ~Secrets~, which is a very important day and is connected to Day 119 ~Work to Do~.

“So we can’t let that… wait.” Axel glanced at Roxas.

“Did you think of a way?” Roxas asked, happily. Beside him, Xion stayed silent, face hidden in her hood.

“Roxas, you should just do your best.”

“Huh?” Xion said, just as Roxas asked “…What do you mean?”

This is the first time I’ve felt Xion look at me, thought Axel. “Until you can use the Keyblade again, Xion, you two should make sure to always stick together. That way, no one will figure out that you can’t use your Keyblade.” “I see…!” Roxas smiled.

“But, you’d have to try twice as hard from now on, Roxas.”

“I’ll do my best,” said Roxas giving a strong nod.

Axel told Roxas to “do his best”. That’s the more literal translation of what he said when he told Roxas to do double-duty for Xion.

“It’s all thanks to you and Roxas.” The Keyblade disappeared as Xion smiled.

“I didn’t do anything,” said Axel, a wry smile pasting itself on his face.

“You made it so we could go on a mission together this morning, didn’t you?” said Xion, and Axel looked away.

When I’m smiled at with such a happy look… I feel uncomfortable.

“Maybe Xion wouldn’t have been able to make her Keyblade come back, if it weren’t for you, Axel,” Roxas added.

“Thank you, Axel,” they said, in unison.

This is why… this feeling is so hazy. Scratching his head unconsciously, Axel looked away from the two of them.

“Then how about a sea salt ice cream?” Axel asked, his back still turned.

“Huh?” Roxas asked.

This was Axel compromising, grudgingly. Don’t think I can take any more of those thank-yous.

Xion was also EXTREMELY grateful to Roxas and Axel. She thanked Roxas alone EIGHT times in the novel during this arc. Axel was really uncomfortable with all the thank-you’s. 

Day 96: Friends

Author: Axel

Xion regained her ability to wield the Keyblade. I don't know how or why. Maybe there's more to the Keyblade master they're not telling me about. I feel like I've been spending more time talking to Roxas and Xion lately than my old friend, Saïx. This has to have been what it was like, friendship.

It seemed to bring back memories for him.

“These Heartless here are the last, I think.”

“Xion, fight fight fight~” Axel clapped, as she turned around.

“What are you doing?”

“What am I doing… I’m praising you, you know.”

“You’re weird,” said Xion, laughing.

Just then, Axel suddenly felt like Xion’s face had blurred, and he rubbed his eyes.

“Is something wrong, Axel?”

“Nah…” For a second, the Xion I saw there had the face of… Naminé.

Xion and Naminé look very similar to begin with. But they aren’t exactly the same; their hair colour is different. But, just now, for just an instant, Xion’s hair was blonde. What is this?

On Day 117 ~Secrets~, Axel and Xion are paired together for a mission and Axel knew the assignment wasn’t random. Axel sees Xion fight VERY well and can’t believe she ever lost her Keyblade. He praises her and then he sees her as Naminé. 

And, the charm Sora carried to remember the promise he made to Kairi was made out of seashells, wasn’t it…? At the same time, there were memories of the Princess—Kairi. It’s only natural that Kairi is very strong in those memories, if Xion and Naminé are connected. Because Naminé is Kairi’s Nobody.

Now that I think about it, it wasn’t an illusion when I saw Xion and Naminé during our mission. It feels like there must be a reason.

“You have memories, don’t you, Axel?”

“Generally, yeah. They’re not much use for anything, anyway,” Axel replied, looking at Xion. Her expression seemed lost somehow.

Later on Xion and Axel talk about her memories and she brings up the seashell. Axel knew the seashell represented Kairi and Sora’s promise.

Day 118: You Changed, Not Me

Author: Axel

Talking to Roxas and Xion always brings back memories of my human life, back when I was a kid. It’s a weird sensation. I ought to be able to share all this with Saïx, but I just don’t feel like it anymore. It’s strange, but I’m content with just missing what’s gone.I’m not the one who changed. You did.

The day after, Axel spent all day sleeping and wrote about how Roxas and Xion bring back memories for him, and how much Saïx has changed. He misses what they used to have.

Xigbar, standing and watching their exchange with his arms folded, opened his mouth. “You’ve been working really well lately haven’t you, Poppet.”

“…Thank you,” Xion replied in a small voice.

“Thank you? Why do you have to say thanks?

“Well, you were praising me, weren’t you? Was I wrong?”

“Haha… Yeah, I guess you could see it like that.” He pressed his hand to his mouth and snickered.

“Did I say something funny?”

“No, no. You’re fine.”

Xion looked up at Xigbar, anxiously. Beside them, Saïx didn’t show any notable reaction. He just watched.

Then on Day 119 ~Work to Do~, Xigbar and Saïx had this exchange. Apparently Xion absorbed one of Axel’s memories, the Organization was able to view it, and Xigbar was making fun of Saïx about it.

“You were fighting without a Keyblade, right? I’ll try it, too. So, today you’re using my Keyblade.”

A smile surfaced on Xion’s face. “…Okay. Thank you… I’ll do my best to make up your share, too.”

When Roxas loaned Xion his Keyblade, she said she’d do her best, too.

“Keep an eye on Roxas.” Without answering Xigbar, Xemnas made himself disappear.

“Yeah, do your best now.” Xigbar followed after.

In the novels, Xigbar also teases Saix by telling him to “do his best”. Lea and Isa were most likely in a very similar situation as Roxas and Xion were. Isa couldn’t fight and Lea did his best to protect him. Isa thanked Lea over and over. When he got better at fighting, Lea praised Isa. And it was connected to a promise they made to each other. Praising Xion made Axel remember.

“Understood, sir,” Saïx replied, and Xemnas disappeared.

“…Well, do your best. The best a kid without a heart can do, anyway,” said Xigbar, and he too disappeared.

And Xigbar calls him a kid without a heart. Xigbar probably found it hilarious that Xehanort made Isa into a vessel since they had such low expectations for him at first. I can see Xaldin or Xigbar telling him he had no right to be in the Organization and that he was a mistake they never should have made. And Saïx is the only Organization member who doesn’t go on missions. He only fights in his berserk state, which takes a large physical toll on him. When he fights Roxas, he says he hasn’t fought in a long time in the novel. His role is mainly an adjutant. I think he’s still seen as weak by the other members.

“Something you treasure is a weak spot?”

Roxas looked down. “I don’t really get it…”

There are so many things that Roxas and I don’t understand, Xion thought. If Axel was here right now, I know he’d explain it to us.

“I guess Axel won’t come home for a while…,” Roxas said, and Xion nodded.

Once Axel gets back, there are many things I want to ask him.

I think they may have given up on trying to bring the darkness out of Isa and were going to instead use him to draw out the darkness from Lea.

“We don’t have this much time to squander. You really are a defective failure, that’s all it is.”

Defective failure…? What is this about?

Saïx glanced at Xion, who stood hanging her head, and then left the area.

The scene of Xigbar praising Xion in front of Saïx happens on Day 119, with Xaldin at the Beast’s Castle. Saïx starts calling her defective on Day 150 ~Fear~, another day with Xaldin at Beast’s Castle.

“You wouldn’t understand. Okay, let’s RTC, Roxas.” Xaldin began to walk away, without answering Roxas’ question.

Left behind, Roxas turned back to the door of the beast’s room.

That rose—that he treasures… a weak point. I don’t really get it, thought Roxas. Maybe if I asked Axel, he’d help me understand…?

That’s the day Roxas gets to actually ask Axel about what he can’t bear to lose.

That’s right—I was going to ask Axel. “Axel?”

Axel looked over at him with his ice cream in his mouth. “Hm?”

“Is there something you don’t want to lose, Axel?” he asked.

Axel took his ice cream out of his mouth and shrugged. “Something I don’t want to lose? Where’s this coming from, all of a sudden?”

“Today I met someone who had something he didn’t want to lose. It was really important to him, and Xaldin said it becomes his weak point. I thought, I don’t have something like that…”

Axel breathed out in surprise. “Of course not, you don’t have a heart,” he replied.

He didn’t want to lose his memories.

Roxas looked down again. That’s… so very… “Scary, isn’t it,” he grumbled.

“Afraid, even without a heart?” Axel asked.

“If my friends… if you and Xion weren’t here anymore… no, if the two of you were erased from inside me, I’d be afraid.” Roxas shivered as if he were cold. I’m afraid just thinking about it. Afraid…? What is afraid?

“Fear and emotions like that don’t exist for us,” said Axel.

“But… I’m scared, right now.” If Axel and Xion were to be erased… That makes me more afraid than having my own existence erased. I don’t want to think about it.

But he said he wasn’t able to experience fear.

“More special than friends? Like…if they’re best friends? Inseparable?”

“Well, you can care about your friends, but that’s not exactly it…” Axel paused, groping for words that might make sense to Roxas.

“So it’s a step above best friends?”

“No—it’s not about steps.”

Roxas looked bewildered. As he’d expected, he wasn’t doing a very good job explaining it.

“Not that it matters. We’ll never know the difference.”

Roxas wouldn’t let it go. “Do you think we would, if we had hearts?”

“Once Kingdom Hearts is complete, I bet you’ll be able to figure it out.” The magic words again, Axel thought. It’ll all make sense when Kingdom Hearts is complete. But was that true?

No one had ever seen it happen before. So who knew?

Still, all they could do was believe in it.

Pitiful Heartless, mindlessly collecting hearts…

Another mission at the Beast’s Castle with Xaldin is on Day 171 ~Love~. And in the novel, Saïx’s quote is referenced.

“Is she that important to you?”

“More than anything.” Sora clenched his fists. He had to see Kairi, no matter what it took.

“Show me how important.”

Sora lowered his eyes for a moment, and then quietly knelt down, his head bowed low. “Please.”

“So, you really do care for her,” Saïx mused. “In that case…absolutely not.”

Sora sprang to his feet again. “You rotten—”

“Are you angry? Do you hate me? Then take that rage and bring it down upon the Heartless.”

I definitely think Lea was put in this same situation as Sora and Isa was the Kairi. Since Xion is a Replica based on Kairi, I think the Saïx/Xion parallels work even better. Kairi was the fuel to feed Sora’s anger. I think the apprentices might have decided to kill Isa or turn him into a Heartless or something. It was so they could make Lea feel total despair and be filled with darkness, like Terra was after Eraqus died. But I think Isa put up a lot more of a fight than they ever anticipated. He went berserk, lost his sense of self then they had a change of plans. They made him into a vessel. And they changed their methods of creating vessels afterwards to focus on getting the mind to renounce its sense of self.

He felt sad somehow, like he missed someone.

That voice, that attitude… Axel. His name is Axel.

But who is he? Oh—I remember. The guy with the scar on his forehead said he was trying to find Axel. Sora’s mind raced. No, there’s something else… He…he did something…!

“You— You’re the one who kidnapped Kairi!”

Axel twitched a little at that. “Bingo. The name’s Axel. Got it memorized?” he replied, eyes narrowed as he smiled sardonically.

“Where is she?!” cried Sora.

He flinched again and then scratched his head.

“Please just tell me!”

Seeing Sora nearly hunched over in his desperation, Axel’s gaze rose to the sky. “Look, about Kairi… I’m sorry.”

The air began wavering.

Axel felt really bad when he kidnapped Kairi. Like he knew what Sora felt like to beg and plead to see someone who was taken from him.

He shifted, relaxing his legs. “Are you that worried over Xion?”

“It’s just…when I saw her lying there, she was so quiet. It made me think she might never wake up.” Roxas’s voice was hushed with something very like fear.

“I’m sure she’s fine.” The best Axel could offer was empty words of comfort.

The day after the one about love, Xion collapsed and Axel wasn’t worried at first. He assumed she’d be fine.

“Yeah, that’s true, but… Don’t be careless,” Axel warned their backs as he followed behind.

“Axel is such a worry-wart, isn’t he.”

“Worry-wart—Maybe that’s cause you two worry me far too much.”

Xion and Roxas looked at each other, and laughed.

But when she slept for 20 days, he became worried. She woke up on Day 193 ~Memories~ and went on a mission with Roxas and Axel. They were excited because they never had a mission with all three of them before. They teased Axel and called him a worry-wart.

“That’s smart, Roxas!” Xion exclaimed.

“It is…?” Axel mumbled.

Axel isn’t getting it, she thought. But that doesn’t really matter. Working together as a trio, here in Twilight Town—it just makes things more fun.

But then…It happened as soon as she stepped into the station plaza. The world…tilted. Everything spun and swam and went dark.

What’s happening? What is this? I don’t know…

“Promise.”

Who are you?

“It’s my lucky charm. So you have to bring it back to me!”

Lucky charm…? The seashells……?

Xion collapsed and the promise between Sora and Kairi came to her mind. I think she was reacting yet again to Axel’s memories after she absorbed them by fighting alongside him again.

“Xion!” he called, after gently putting her down, but Xion didn’t react.

I was careless. I don’t have a clear answer as to why Xion faints so often in the first place. Why was she allowed to go on a mission in this condition? The thoughts floated up along with regret.

Axel blamed himself when Xion collapsed.

“But… I got a bit worried about my biggest and bestest friend Al… so I popped back to see how things are.”

“Worry? So, you worry about best friends?” Roxas asked, and Genie dabbed at his eyes with a white hanky he’d pulled out of somewhere.

“You worry and worry! Are things going well with Jasmine… has the city changed at all… so many things I’m interested in, I can’t contain myself…”

Best friends worry about each other.

“Your friend’s… wishes…” So, even if you mean for something to be for your friend’s sake, their wishes are still more important?

This was on Day 75 ~Inseparable~, which was about a friend’s resolve.

Axel leaned his head to one side. “Your friend’s wishes, huh…” It feels like I have heard that before, a long time ago, when I was human.

“Cause Genie said he’s a guy called Al’s number one best friend,” said Roxas, looking at Axel.

“Best friend… that’s different to a friend, isn’t it?” Xion added, also looking at Axel.

“It’s the same kind of thing,” Axel replied, and Roxas and Xion looked at each other.

Axel knew what it was like to be worried about a best friend, but being told to respect their wishes. Isa was targeted because he was Lea’s weakness. Something bad happened to him and Lea blamed himself.

“He worries too much. Thinks he has to help Sora do everything…” Axel grimaced in irritation.

“But, Axel, aren’t you the one worrying about Riku and Sora?” Naminé giggled softly.

“Me, worry? You think I need to be worried about those two?” He stretched backward and rocked the chair back and forth, like a restless child.

It seems to have traumatized him quite badly.

“Thank you… Axel,” said Xion, still lying on the bed. Axel scratched his head, seeming a little self-conscious.

“Are you okay now?”

Xion nodded, seeing Roxas’ worried state. “Just a little dizzy. I’m sorry for worrying you,” she replied.

“Don’t scare us like that, yeah?” Axel said, sounding tired.

It’s why he was so pissed at Saïx on that day and said Roxas and Xion were his best friends. Isa was his weakness, yet Saïx has no consideration for him. He felt fear for the first time in forever and it brought back all of these memories of worrying about Isa. Because Lea’s fear involves the concept of love, I decided to look at the weapons of Days to see if there were any clues. And there were.

The Lovers Meaning: Love, harmony, relationships, values alignment, choices, partnerships, duality

The primary meaning within The Lovers is harmony, attractiveness, and perfection in a relationship. The trust and the unity that the lovers have gives each of them confidence and strength, empowering the other. The bond that they have created is very strong, and it can indicate that the two are joined in marriage, and other close and intimate relationships. Another meaning behind the lovers card is the concept of choice - a choice between things that are opposing and mutually exclusive. This could be a dilemma that you need to think about carefully and make the best decision for your situation.

These are all the weapons that are “Crisis Gear”. A crisis is a time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger. Or a time when a difficult or important decision must be made. Luxord’s card is pink and is shaped like the Four of Cups.

The Four of Cups Meaning: Meditation, contemplation, apathy, reevaluation, disconnectedness.

The Four of Cups tend to appear when you are feeling discouraged and unmotivated. You may feel as if there is no solution or way forward in your situation. Life has become stagnant, and nothing seems to make you happy or passionate. You are feeling apathetic - regardless of what happens, whether the day is good or bad, none of it matters to you. The Four of Cups commands a self-evaluation of your attitude so that you can pull yourself out of this rut. The solution is likely right in front of you, the hand is offering you a way out, but you release yourself out of your mental stubbornness and deploy new approach.

Xemnas (Triumph): A triumph is a great success or achievement, often one that has been gained with a lot of skill or effort. I think this is referring to Xemnas’ triumph over the heart. He’s certainly not triumphant about love.

Xigbar (Diabo Eye): Probably a reference to the Gazing Eye.

Xaldin (Crescent Moon Destruction): Some of Xaldin’s weapons have weird names associated with the moon. Like this one. I think they are a reference to Isa.

Vexen (Laboratory): It indicates that this is related to the experiments.

Zexion (Discarded Theory): I think Isa was an anomaly. Their original theory was discarded and now they focus on getting the mind to renounce its sense of self.

Saïx (Balsamic): As the final phase in the lunar cycle, the Balsamic Moon is the monthly “sleep time”.  It’s the symbol in Isa’s jacket.

Roxas (Silent Dirge): Musically, a dirge is a somber song expressing mourning or grief.

Marluxia (Gallant Achillea):  Achillea is a genus of plants named for the Greek hero Achilles. Achillea flowers are also commonly known as “yarrows,” and they represent healing and comfort for heartache. Many people give these blossoms as gifts to symbolize their concern for the recipient’s well-being. “Gallant” means “brave” or “honorable.” Achilles was killed near the end of the Trojan War by Paris, who shot him in the heel with an arrow. Alluding to these legends, the term “Achilles’ heel” has come to mean a point of weakness, especially in someone or something with an otherwise strong constitution. The Achilles tendon is also named after him due to these legends. Stuff like this really makes it clear that the weapons are not random. Love is a weakness and the achillea flower was put into the same Gear as The Lovers arcana.

The Chariot: Control, willpower, direction, success, action, determination

The Chariot is a card of willpower, determination and strength. You have discovered how to make decisions in alignment with your values with the Lovers card, and now you are taking action on those decisions. You have set your objectives and are now channeling your inner power with a fierce dedication to bring them to fruition. When you apply discipline, commitment and willpower to achieve your goals, you will succeed. The Chariot’s message comes to make you stronger as you strive to achieve your goals

All of the weapons in “Omega Gear” have the same color scheme as “Crisis Gear”. Omega is the twenty-fourth, and last, letter of the Greek alphabet; It also means the last of a series or the final development. In Luxord’s deck this is The Chariot.

The Two of Cups: Unified love, partnership, mutual attraction, connection  

The Two of Cups represents the flow of love between two people. With this card, you are creating deep connections and partnerships, based on shared values, compassion, and unconditional love. You have mutual respect and appreciation for one another, and together you reach higher planes of consciousness and understanding.

Xemnas (Ruination): To severely harm, damage, or spoil it. Probably referring to Isa.

Xigbar (Double Tap): When firing a handgun, it is common to shoot a two-shot burst known as a “Double Tap.” Double tap shooting is often performed when shooters are training for self-defense situations.

Vexen (Contrivance): A thing which is created skillfully and inventively to serve a particular purpose.

Lexaeus (Veiled Moon): Oboro means “hazy,” “dim”, or “faint”, usually in relation to the moon.

Zexion (Harbinger Anthology): A harbinger is a sign that something (usually bad) is going to happen.

Saïx (Orbit): The Moon orbits the Sun. These are the only two weapons of Saïx which have a black aura. Black auras represent extreme grief or negative emotions, or possession.

Axel (Burning Out): The albedo (white) is the second stage of alchemy. In this process, previously unconscious contents are brought into the light of consciousness and a dialogue with the unconscious psyche or soul is initiated. Being deep in nigredo (black), a white light appears. It is a symbolic expression for the rising of the light at the depth of darkness. Albedo is the discovery of the dualistic nature of man. When male and female are united again, one will experience his true self. Conscious and unconscious are totally united.

Marluxia (Noble Peony): They may represent a wish for the recipient to receive endless love or endless wealth and esteem. Peonies embody romance and prosperity and are regarded as an omen of good fortune and a happy marriage. The peony’s representation of bashfulness derives from the notion that nymphs were said to hide within its petals. In China and Japan they are viewed as the “King of Flowers" and are depicted frequently in paintings and artwork from the Eastern world.

Roxas (Lunar Eclipse): An eclipse in which the moon appears darkened as it passes into the earth’s shadow. Since Xehanort was possessing Terra, it might actually reference that, too.

Xaldin ( 弦月断 - Stars, Moon, Heaven): Xaldin has a weirdy named weapon that translates from Chinese to Xingyuetian. I think it’s meant to be a play on Xing Tian with the character (月 - yuè) meaning moon added in.

Xingtian (Chinese: 刑天; pinyin: Xíngtiān; “Opposing Heaven”) is a Chinese deity who fights against the Supreme Divinity, not giving up even after the event of his decapitation. Losing the fight for supremacy, he was beheaded and his head buried in Changyang Mountain. Nevertheless, headless, with a shield in one hand and a battle axe in the other, he continues the fight, using his nipples as eyes and his bellybutton as a mouth. 

Roxas: Is love fighting to protect what’s most important to you? Where does its power come from?

Xingtian symbolizes the indomitable spirit which maintains the will to resist no matter what tribulations one may undergo or what troubles one may encounter. As such, Xingtian has been lauded in poetry and prose. Since Xing Tian is represented by an “X” I definitely think it represents Isa. He was completely outmatched and unable to protect anyone with his own strength. He was a berserker possessed by the spirit of a rabbit. But he fought with everything he had and wound up becoming the Beast instead of the Belle.

AXEL SAT PATIENTLY WITH HIS BACK AGAINST A WALL. He was waiting for the perfect moment to rescue Kairi.

If he made his move right now, he wouldn’t have to worry about Xemnas. But what about Saïx? Or Xigbar? Or Luxord?

He really wasn’t sure he could do this. He may have talked a big game, but he had an awful lot of doubt behind it.

Maybe he was discovering the emotion known as fear.

Axel rediscovers fear when he’s trying to sneak into the castle to rescue Kairi.

Then someone else spoke behind him. “I’ve been waiting for you, Axel.”

And he runs into Saïx.

Axel didn’t waste a second grabbing his chakrams. But his body was reluctant somehow.

I don’t want to disappear… But still, it wouldn’t be so bad if I did. Not here.

Roxas was more afraid to lose Axel or Xion than himself. I think the same was true for Lea.

[oldmancopper]

Fall 2018 Course Evaluations

Noting that this was a ridiculous semester . . . 147 full time students across 7 classes and 4 subjects . . . I got dinged rightfully for not returning course material with grades in a timely fashion. Fortunately, I have less next semester . . . 146 students . . . 6 classes and 5 subjects...

Ah well... the student’s verbiage

2001:

 •             At times it is unclear what is necessarily needed for some assignments or quizzes.

•             The course was over all very good; gave us a necessary foundation for design on a general basis; which is far more applicable to the constantly changing world of game development than anything else. Beyond that we're taught with what I think sounds like a very realistic expectation of basically what kind of career we're walking into. Also anytime I had questions they were typically answered promptly so I can't complain that was all well and good. We also had, I guess no surprise a good amount of time preparing for a game pitch for this course; which helped to suitably point out strengths and weaknesses to learn from the experience. Over all one of the more beneficial courses I'd say I've taken. Also as an aside I appreciate the humor during the lessons every now and then; helps keep things engaging.

•             I feel that this is one of the few classes actually worth taking at this school. I feel that I actually learned something from this class that will help me beyond leaving the school. I hope everyone will be able to take this class with Y_______.

•             Learned a lot in this class. Glad i took it and Professor helped whenever i needed it.

•             I understand why the textbook was used but most of the information within the book did not aid in helping to understand the course material.

•             I fell like I do have a better idea of what a game designer does after taking this course. I kind of wish I had taken it sooner.

•             incredibly smart and generous to students. One professor that stands out that truly cares

•             this course was wonderful and very useful to me

•             Great professor, very organized.

   2175:

 •             Very Good Class

•             Homework 12 felt like it was made to be busy work due to the fact that it was just compiling previous information into a document. Other than that, I really appreciated this course. It gave me a good amount of experience that one day may be applicable to me.

•             Y_______ is one of the most real professors/teachers that I have ever had. He tells it as it is and doesn't give a damn what you think about it. That's why I respect him so much.

•             I really enjoyed this class. The only short coming was that it was incredibly hard to study for, and often I had no idea what I should be studying for an up coming test.

•             Excellent professor who teaches really important material.

•             Very reasonable Professor. Good class material

•             I enjoyed the professor's attitude in class and the way he presented the material.

•             I really liked the material that we learned in class was absolutely necessary to help me understand the industry that I am going into. The information was relevant in everyday and the class format of class time to assignments were not too troubling of a load. My only gripe is that the information was given too quickly, I wish we spent more time on certain portions of the material, simply because some of it was extremely interesting or something that I needed clarification on. Other than that it was a dope ass class.

•             The Professor makes it a point to have students understand what the true outcome of the course is supposed to be. He is always readily available - if needed - through canvas or email. I think the professor would benefit from having classes two days a week as compared to once a week. I personally am not a fan of once a week classes as it forces the student to retain a lot of information from one session - and each class has a LOT of information (See Ebbinghaus' Learning Curve). One problem I had with the class was what was EXPECTED of us. For example, many of the assignments required us to have a minimum of SOME experience with other types of work. We are NOT business students, we are NOT graphic design students, we are NOT accountants. It shouldn't be expected of us to be able to make a revenue spread sheet or budget spread sheet with ease. It shouldn't be expected of us to make a flashy sell sheet like a graphic design student. It shouldn't be expected of us to be able to come up with a business model - if you haven't taken a business. I've taken a business course before and spent nearly a month on just mastering a business model. In the Professor's (Yarbrough) defense, he doesn't necessarily have the time to do this as it isn't a business class, but, my point still stands. Overall, the Professor has done a well done job and, so far, has been my favorite Professor not just because of his ability to clearly communicate his points for each lecture/class meeting. His assignments, while very different from one another, lead up to one concise goal that is aimed to help us understand the industry we plan to head in as a whole - as compared to understanding one part of the industry.

3900: My teacher does the best he can to help and is very fun and creative. 3901:

•             I really enjoyed the lectures; I think that it could be interesting to do more specific topics other than general design, marketing, etc.

•             Live Studio is the best experience I have had at this college thus far. Working with a qualified group of my peers taught me more than a class ever could. W___ and M____ are always there to help me and teach me all they know, and I wouldn't be this far along without them.

•             Incredible learning experience, I felt like I learned so much from the peer reviews and mock interviews with M____ and W___. They're some of the most knowledgeable people in the industry as well as some of the greatest mentors I've encountered thus far, hope to have a great semester with them next up!

•             Live Studio was one of the most helpful things for me as a game design student. It gave me real life experience of working on a team and learning new skills as needed. Professor Y_______  was a great resource when it came to real world knowledge of getting a job, portfolio, resumes, game production, etc.

•             This is by far the best class offered at Becker. You work on actual projects that have actual deadlines and actual releases unlike game studio where you work on bs that doesn't prepare you for actual work outside school.

Previous Evaluations, just so I can find them:

https://oldmancopper.tumblr.com/post/156311041341/fall-2016-semester-reviews

https://oldmancopper.tumblr.com/post/146656897816/course-evaluations

https://oldmancopper.tumblr.com/post/173974006616/2018-spring-evaluations

[projectalbum]

All the best. 200. “Accelerate,” 201. “Collapse Into Now,” 202. “Unplugged 1991/2001: The Complete Sessions” by R.E.M.

After exhaustive touring, a greatest hits disc, and a dud album, the lovable lads from Athens, R.E.M., wisely took some time to figure things out before regrouping.

The four-year absence didn’t register with me, as I was collecting the back catalogue during that break. As far as I was concerned, new material was everywhere I looked, filling up my burgeoning record collection as I finished high school and started making my way through college. By the time Accelerate (#200) burst onto the scene in March 2008, I was a junior in film school, about to attend my first documentary festival. I put aside an extra $15 from my work study job to pick up the CD the day of release— the first time I’d been able to perform that record store* ritual for my favorite band. *(Though I didn’t have access to any record stores at the time, so it was likely procured from the closest Wal-Mart.) 

Fast, lean, gritty, produced by a guy who goes by “Jacknife,” this set of songs could not be more of a deliberate course-correction from the overly fussy, mid-tempo Around The Sun. Peter Buck’s skills on the axe, often mixed way down on the previous album, here announce Accelerate's punk-ish purpose in the intro to “Living Well is the Best Revenge,” leading off with a dexterous riff before the drums come trampling in. Stipe spits furiously, with the best use of his full-throated tenor since New Adventures in Hi-Fi, and the rare bar to inspire a Fuck Yeah fist-pump: "Don't set your talking points on me / History will set me free / The future's ours and you don't even rate a footnote.” Recorded and released in the tail-end of the Bush years, there are unmistakable references, drawn in anger and in weariness, to the emotional tolls of that reign.

“If the storm doesn’t kill me, the government will,” Stipe muses at the top of “Houston,” a hair over 2 minutes but suffused with poignancy. It’s an acoustically-driven Western-tinged ballad that hearkens back to “Swan Swan H” or “Monty Got A Raw Deal,” but here the drums are splashy and blown-out, the organ serves a bleating counterpoint to the vocal, and bowed electric guitar bleeds through into the verses, serious as storm clouds. The intriguing production choices are what mark it as the Accelerate twist on familiar R.E.M. tropes. The chorus: “Houston is filled with promise / Laredo's a beautiful place / Galveston sings like that song that I love / Its meaning has not been erased” is stirring, as if to absolve the Lone Star state for spawning the political dynasty that led to 2 disastrous presidencies. "Belief has not filled me / And so I am put to the test” are the last words before distortion drowns out the melody like a fatal wave. The song has never left my head.

“Until The Day Is Done” is a more familiar flavor of the band’s earnest political identity— it even ended up scoring a CNN-produced piece on environmental issues. The lyrics approach the first two verses of Leonard Cohen’s “Everybody Knows” in reflecting a distressing capitalist landscape, and to read them is to find that the “business-first flat earthers” have only doubled-down in the decade since the song was released. But the lack of idiosyncrasies leaves us with a folky protest song, and it has a tendency to become oatmeal to the ear, nestled amongst the bolder sonic moments.

By which I mean the muscular guitar sounds and fast n’ furious arrangements on tracks like “Man-Sized Wreath,” “Accelerate,” “Horse To Water”— the revitalized band blowing up the electronic, art school solemnity of the preceding Bill Berry-less records. I remember I once put on Accelerate during a day of recording drive-by b-roll footage with some new coworkers, who enthused, “We were a little worried when you said you were gonna play R.E.M…. but this is really good!” I just glided past the implied criticism and took the positive note.

In early 2011, songs for their follow-up began to be released on YouTube and rolled out by the pop culture press. I’ll admit I was underwhelmed by what I heard. Accelerate’s novelty, its flouting of the band’s cliches, had me expecting another quantum leap in a wild direction. Collapse Into Now (#201) was feeling more like a greatest hits mashup.

“Discoverer” at times sounds like an interpolation of “Man-Sized Wreath” (compare the chorus of the former to the verses of the latter.) That exultant wordless harmonizing on “It Happened Today” is straight from “Belong” on Out of Time (plus special guest Eddie Vedder.) “Blue,” the closing track, takes equal parts New Adventures’ “E-Bow The Letter” (dark grinding minor key, Beat poetry, plus Patti Smith-voiced chorus) and Out of Time's “Country Feedback” (the chords sound similar, and the aching Peter Buck solo is back). I’d never before been able to identify the sonic inspirations so easily. However, for all my creeping dissatisfaction, as a true fanboy I knew the record would grow on me. The prophecy was indeed fulfilled.

The song that most represented the sound of a modern-day R.E.M. was “Mine Smell Like Honey.” It was unmistakably them, with the inscrutable lyrics, Michael in gravel-throated rock mode, a Mike Mills vocal harmony line designed to carry its own trajectory while lifting up the chorus, Buck with an indelible riff that doesn’t show off for its own sake— but it would fit right on modern rock radio in 2011, if that still existed. I had another one of my Best Buy PA system epiphanies, clicking this track into place, proving sometimes you need some huge speakers with good bass to truly experience certain songs. In a similar mode, “That Someone Is You” rockets by in under 2 minutes; a live-in-the-room ode to the feeling of meeting that exciting new person who'll lift you out of the mud. 

The mid-tempo balladry is back as well, diversifying the sound from the previous release. In “Oh My Heart,” a direct sequel to “Houston,” Stipe croons a New Orleans spiritual with "a new take on faith," while Buck's mandolin comes out of retirement for another sweet, sad melody, and Mills fills in the mournful choir. As with the song’s predecessor, it’s a high-point in the track listing that moves me whenever I hear it.

Before I had warmed to Collapse Into Now, I comforted myself with the idea that New LP equaled New Tour. I could finally catch my favorite band live! They told the press they had no plans to tour behind the record. Odd, but they were an institution, so they could take a pause. I’d recently witnessed Paul McCartney tearing through his hits in person, and he’d already blown past age 64. Then in September 2011, R.E.M. announced they had decided to “call it a day as a band”— a phrase designed to wave away the idea of Beatles-esque acrimony. I was, you can probably imagine, more than a little heartbroken. The previous tour had come within 2-and-a-half hours of my town back in ’08. At that point in my life, that seemed like a hassle: why not wait, see if they made it a little closer next time? Now, I wish I had put in the extra effort.

With this announcement, the sense of Collapse as R.E.M.’s tribute album to themselves came into focus. Stipe is even waving goodbye, for god’s sake, on the first album cover photo to clearly feature the faces of the whole band since 1985’s Fables of the Reconstruction. "It's just like me to overstay my welcome, bless” he sings with sheepish glee on “All The Best.” Shrouded by the spirit-radio-filtered effect of his “Blue” recitation comes his clearest statement of purpose: "I want Whitman proud. Patti Lee proud. My brothers proud. My sisters proud. I want me. I want it all,” and then Patti Lee (Smith), one of his earliest lead singer inspirations, draws the narrative to a close… before the ringing jangle of opener “Discoverer” reprises and concludes. The book’s been closed shut… but the story of the band’s music continues.

There was the inevitable plundering of the vaults. An over-arching Best Of record, finally combining songs from the I.R.S. and WB catalogues (didn’t buy it), with 3 brand new recordings (they’re ok). Two digital-only “Complete Rarities” collections, encompassing hours of b-sides and soundtrack cuts (lotta great stuff, but this week WB removed all of theirs from Spotify, so I’m pretty perturbed).

In 2014, 3 years into my mourning period, they announced Unplugged 1991/2001 (#202), a 2-CD set of their appearances on the MTV show where bands play intimate, stripped-down acoustic sets… you know, in front of multiple TV cameras capturing every angle. Now this got me excited, maybe more than I had been for their swan song record— Bob Dylan Unplugged, Paul McCartney Unplugged, and The Unplugged Collection Vol. 1 had all got a lot of play in my home through the years. Other than my favorite version of “Half A World Away” closing out the Vol. 1 compilation, and a burned, hand-labeled CD-R I had once glimpsed on a coffee table during a realtor’s house tour, recordings of R.E.M.’s appearance on the show didn’t seem to exist until now. I pre-ordered that bad boy.

The set is a snapshot of two very different eras for the band: Disc 1 features them on the cusp of superstardom fueled by Out Of Time’s success, with the classic lineup of Berry/Buck/Mills/Stipe and support from Peter Holsapple. Disc 2 finds them down to a three-piece, supporting Reveal, a record that never got its due, with their frequent contributors Scott McCaughey and Joey Waronker filling out the sound. “Losing My Religion” is on both discs, of course, from the bright new hit that pumps up the crowd to a warmly-recieved old friend.

The treat in hearing these shows is also two-fold. There’s the way that familiar tunes get adapted to the setting: “It’s The End of the World...” is transformed into a Friday night Americana hoe-down, while “The One I Love” is slowed down to a gritty lament with a slightly varied vocal melody. After the 2nd chorus and an instrumental bridge in “Country Feedback,” Stipe folds lines from Dylan's “Like A Rolling Stone” into the tune, a goosebump-inspiring moment.

Then there’s the added benefit of songs that I’d once slept on revealing their power in the live arrangements. The 2001 show closes with several tracks from Reveal, and free of all electronic touches, the choruses of “Disappear” and “Beat A Drum,” well, revealed themselves to me, becoming new earworms and spawning a personal reevaluation of the album. “Find The River” had once been a pleasant-enough closer on Automatic For The People, but a step down from the iconic “Nightswimming” that precedes it. Now it’s a new favorite, and I’m prone to singing it loud with embarrassing over-earnestness.

With the band truly well and dissolved (and no cynical cash-grab “reunion tours” planned, those damn jerks and their integrity), the repackaging of older material is the only avenue left for unheard R.E.M. music. The studio albums are greeting their landmark anniversaries with special editions: Automatic’s 25th was recently celebrated with various configurations of physical release, including one with a disc of demos and a 5.1 surround sound Blu-ray that I WILL possess one day, damnit! Just this week, their social media team announced a sprawling set of BBC sessions and interviews, hopefully to be made available on streaming services in addition to the fancy 9-disc set (I know, sacrilege in my blog about physical media, but space is at a premium and I haven’t even COVERED the live DVDs and music video collections I already have of these guys).

There’s even a podcast exclusively about the band! The exceedingly silly interplay between Scott Aukerman and Adam Scott was enough to get me to listen to several eps of their previous U2-centric show (a band that I’m fairly positive towards), so "R U Talkin’ R.E.M. RE: ME?,” in which they go album-by-album through the discography, was appointment listening from the jump. I couldn’t help but sprinkle inside jokes from the podcast into my first entry. Fuckin’ stoked!

It’s hard to articulate how much R.E.M.’s music has meant to me. There’s undeniable power in finding art when you’re young and unsteady. To ally yourself with a favorite band, especially one that clearly creates from a place of conscience and empathy, is to find a solid stone floor that supports you when you’re at your most weighted down. It’s easy for me to hold onto nearly 2 dozen discs because there’s so much variety. They could uplift, interrogate the status quo, offer humor or succor or an outlet for the uncertainty we struggle with. Michael Stipe sang about identity, queerness, nature, hypocrisy, anger, tenderness, artists, politicians, outsiders, expressive freedom, and quiet contemplation. These lyrics came from what he saw and felt but they were conjured by the instrumentals constructed by Peter Buck, Mike Mills, and for years Bill Berry. Jangle-rock or country-western or chamber pop or folk or glam or electronica— they busted through genres with grace and power; immutability was not an option. They couldn’t finish a record until Michael had the words; Michael had their blueprint on tape to fill his ears until the images flowed.

“Here’s a little agit for the never believer / Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah / Here’s a little ghost for the offering,” Stipe sang in his 11th hour, one-take performance of “Man On The Moon.” Now I offer a 20-song Document of the R.E.M. songs that mean the most to me at this moment. It nearly killed me to whittle it down, and your favorite probably isn’t on it. The song I just quoted isn’t even on it! But that’s the power of R.E.M., where the subjective experience rules all.

[dprdabin]

Korea's Rising Rap Star DPR LIVE Looks Back on 2017 and Talks New Plans: Exclusive Video & Interview

With an onslaught of addictive bangers and visually-captivating videos in 2017, DPR LIVE has ascended from an elusive, underground rapper to one of the most talked about and celebrated new voices emerging in Korea's rapidly growing hip-hop scene.

Since gaining recognition through knockout bars and a scene-stealing performance on the critically acclaimed viral hit "Eung Freestyle," DPR LIVE―real name Hong Da Bin―has excelled thanks to his chart accolades and internet co-signs.

The 25-year-old spawned two impressive EPs via his explosive debut EP Coming to You Live from March 2017 and stellar follow-up Her in December, the latter peaking at No. 8 on Billboard's World Album chart, despite no big-name features. DPR LIVE also played to sold-out crowds in Korea and London last year, scored a promotional video campaign with Nike, and racked up millions of views on YouTube, all helping him garner a legion of excited fans all across the globe.

Yet what really sets the charismatic rapper apart as one of the more interesting come-ups in 2017 is the fact that he has achieved all this as a completely independent artist -- a rarity in Korea's highly-competitive music scene.

DPR LIVE and his crew Dream Perfect Regime -- a creative collective better known as DPR -- have relentlessly hustled with nothing but talent and determination, all in the name of keeping LIVE’s budding rap career authentic and true to the crew's message. Never bowing to industry standards, the collective's focus on positioning DPR LIVE onto the mainstream radar has already paid off in a big way: The crew received their first major monetary investment in late 201, which helped fund a new Seoul studio.

While DPR LIVE has already made accomplishments most of his indie peers can only dream of, the young talent is eyeing 2018 with higher aspirations. Gaining stateside traction for his witty flow flips between Korean and English and forward-thinking ear, LIVE earned a slot on this year's massively-anticipated, sixth annual "Korea Spotlight" showcase at SXSW 2018 among some of Korean music’s biggest names -- like R&B phenom Crush, rock sensation Hyukoh and powerhouse diva Lee Hi -- all taking place on March 16 at the Belmont in Austin, Tex.

Ahead of his debut U.S. show, DPR LIVE exclusively sat down with Billboard Koreafor his first-ever, in-depth artist interview at his new studio to share his personal struggles, creative vision and goals.

Watch DPR LIVE’s recap video and read full interview below.

What were some of the challenges you faced in the industry as an indie artist without an actual label?

Oh man, where do I even start? We had a shit-ton of challenges. First of all, financing everything on our own was the hardest thing we had to overcome. We started with zero capital. No investor, no fancy equipment, no nothing. That’s why we had to start as a visual team, but that was probably the smartest move we made, to think about it now. Not only did we get a chance to showcase our talent, but it also helped to connect with other musicians and entertainment labels. It was a good way of learning the ropes of the Korean music industry; how it worked, how we needed to evolve to get to the next level, etc.

For a good two years, DPR REM [creative director] and DPR IAN [visual director] busted their asses shooting materials for other artists in order to help fund any and all of our projects during that time. And the more I think about it now, the more I’m grateful for that, you know? Cause I know it takes a lot of trust and commitment. They were sacrificing a lot, and that’s what fueled me when I was making music. I knew I not only had to do it for myself, but more importantly, for my team.

The second biggest challenge, I guess, was the fact that we were completely clueless. [Laughs.] I didn’t even know what it meant to "mix songs," or how to get distribution for my music. It was all trial and error, because none of us had any prior experience. We had no money or any real knowledge as to how this [music industry] really works― all we had was just a whole lot of untamed passion and a dream. If one approach didn’t work, we would learn from it and move onto the next one. We learned a lot in those years. That experience is what helped us launch our own company. Now, we get to run our own show and do exactly what we want to do. No one tells us what to do, what to make or how to do it. If we like it as a team, then we do it. That kind of freedom is truly incredible. Our struggles brought us closer together and I’m proud that we have accomplished this as a team.

What is your and DPR’s greatest strength and weakness?

Our greatest strength is that whatever we do, it’s organic. We also know each other so well now to the point where we can easily align our thoughts in such a quick way that it allows us to get straight to work. There’s really no buffer period or queue. We have our own system that works efficiently for all of us. But on the other hand, we can improve and learn how to expand and grow our team. We’re known to be mysterious and unpredictable, and we like that because it keeps our fans in suspense and on edge, but it makes it harder for all of us to bring in new members, because we are such a tight-knit group. However, I’m confident we’ll get into the hang of things in due time.

Last year was great year for you. What are some of the most memorable moments?

2017 has been a life-changing year for me and my team. I released two albums, moved into a brand-new, dope studio, got to travel to some awesome places and work with some amazing people. I honestly couldn't have wished for more. Although all these moments were significantly memorable, I’d have to say getting our studio was probably the most memorable moment of 2017 for DPR. Might not sound like a big deal to some, but you have to understand, we used to hold meetings ranging from coffee shops to even local karaoke rooms on a regular basis just to get some privacy at times. Now that we have a place we can all call home, with separate recording, producing and meetings rooms; it’s surreal, to be honest. Really goes to show what can be achieved.  

Any mistakes or regrets?

No, I don’t have regrets. Everything I’ve experienced was for a specific purpose, and I really believe in that. Literally everything. Although, I had a fair share of upsets and disappointments, now that I look back on it, I'm starting to see how it all came together. Each experience was meant to happen at that exact moment so that we can draw a bigger picture. I'm a huge believer in the whole "everything happens for a reason" quote and so is my team. DPR was basically founded upon that motto. We all happened to meet by chance if you think about it. A bunch of kids, who grew up in all corners of the world, somehow met up in Seoul and eventually came together to do what we do now as DPR.

Your debut EP Coming to You Live boasts guest features from some of the top names in the industry. How did you get them to collaborate?

It was a mix of good timing and mutual respect, I guess. DPR was slowly getting recognized in the industry as an up-and-coming visual team and that really helped my musical career and credibility. While I was in the studio recording demos, IAN and REM were hustling on the video side and doing whatever they could do to spread our brand name. It also helped us earn some money to finance whatever we wanted to do in-house. [Laughs.] Also, being featured on "Eung Freestyle," which was also produced and directed by my team, gave us a good boost. It helped start a lot of conversations with artists in general.

Your recent release Her has also been successful. What did you want to resonate with this project?

Her is a more genre-specific compilation of songs than my first EP. I wanted to get more personal and intimate with my listeners on themes relating to love and relationships.

Where does your musical inspiration come from?

For me, inspiration comes in many angles. I’d say half of it comes from just an array of talented musicians and their music. The internet in itself is inspiring sometimes. On the other hand, a lot my inspiration comes from my experiences in life and the things I place value on.

Why and how did you start making music?

I started making music when I was stationed in the Korean army. I went relatively early for my age, and I had a lot of free time on my hands so I would start writing whenever I had the chance. That’s where my passion slowly grew. It was a good time for me to reflect on my future;  I had a lot of thoughts/things I wanted to say. That’s where I really picked up writing song lyrics.

What goals do you have for 2018?

I can probably make a huge list of what goals I want to hit in 2018, but ultimately, I really just want my team to stay healthy, committed and passionate. That’s not only for 2018, but that’s really a lifetime goal I have.

And what's the biggest drive that motivates you?

I just want to release quality music and materials.  I hope we [DPR] never get lazy or complacent, and continue to challenge each other so that we can continuously push boundaries. It’s not easy to impress people these days, but to rise above that, and to see that stamp of approval and recognition from people is where all my adrenaline rush comes from. It drives me and my team to go beyond.

Where do you see yourself in the next few years?

Hopefully in the next few years, I’ll not only be a better artist myself but I hope to see our team grow and continue to do more exciting things together. Whether it be a visual thing, or a music thing, or something completely different, I just want to see us all succeed together. That’s really the main point.

In the end, it's not really the legacy that I leave behind, but the impact we make as a team. There aren’t that many teams like us in Korea and for that reason, it’d be really dope if we could almost set a benchmark or an example for the next up-and-coming generation of creatives to think outside the box and really learn to DIY. In the end, that’s what we did and it's been the best decision we’ve made.

© Jessica Oak @ Billboard

[acdemic]

school starts for me in a little over a week so i thought i’d make a quick back to school masterpost! this is a compilation of tips that i found helpful from youtube study channels, as well as things that i’ve personally done to make school easier. 

do your best work as soon as school starts

usually the first week(s) of school have a relatively light homework load, but don’t slack off!

this is the time to put in the most effort

you’ll be able to see which subjects you want to spend more or less time on throughout the semester

also, if you turn in great work, participate in class, and go to office hours right from the start, you’re going to keep up those good habits as the school year continues

plus, you’ll leave a fantastic impression on your teachers :)

use! a! planner!

cliché? yes, but it works

planners are a great tool to organize so many different aspects of your life, not just school

write down your assignments as soon as you get them so that you won’t forget anything, and so that you can plan your day/week accordingly

try to space out your assignments if you can so that you don’t spend all of your time on just one subject

describe your tasks. instead of saying “study chemistry” (which will turn into binge-watching youtube), say “practice balancing chemical equations”

planners are also great for setting and keeping track of goals! 

BUT, if planners don’t work for you, use some other way to keep track of your tasks and your time - to do lists, schedules, checklists, bullet journals, etc. choose what works for you!

just make sure that you keep all of your tasks in one place. 

break down larger tasks, such as projects or papers, throughout the week

do a little every day instead of cramming all the work into one night

bonus: try to get your assignments reviewed by someone like a teacher or a classmate before turning them in - most teachers are happy to look at drafts and give suggestions that will improve your work and your grade!

also, for big projects, my procrastinating brain has found it helpful to ‘reset the deadlines’ - work so that you’ll finish your bigger assignments a few days before they’re actually due

a big part of breaking down tasks and planning is also knowing your own study habits

try to figure out how long you spend on certain types of assignments, and know how much time you should allocate to specific tasks

when you have a choice, go for meaningful

for some assignments, such as essays where you can choose your own prompt, it’s easy to choose the easy prompt

but whenever you can, try to go for the prompt that will help you to deepen your understanding of the material you’ve learned

teachers who reuse prompts will probably see a lot of the “same” essays every year, so this is a way to stand out in a positive way!

if you can, declutter

or at least try to clean up your study space for the school year

having a neat space to work can really go a long way

throw out those old pens that have run out of ink and are honestly just there to look pretty

also: invest in good lighting because you gotta take care of those beautiful eyes

find classmates who can be your study buddies

if you know who the “top students” in your class are, seek out their help! get contact info!

if you miss classes or have concepts that you’re having trouble with, you’ll always have someone to ask

i mean you should always feel comfortable with asking your teacher for help, but it’s nice to have someone to quickly proofread your paper or review for a test with

peer tutors are also a great resource!

take the time to establish new habits

maybe come up with a morning/afternoon/night routine so that you know you’ll spend some time every day being productive

and don’t let yourself off the hook here!!

some ideas for habits: hydrating properly every day, working out, getting enough sleep every night, avoiding procrastination, journaling, focusing on one thing at a time / not multitasking, going to office hours consistently, participating in class

be honest with yourself. what are some things you do every day that you might not need to do every day? and what are some things you hope you can add to your daily routine?

speaking of habits, fix that sleep schedule asap

if you want to pay attention in class and turn in good work, you’re going to need enough sleep

i would recommend sleeping early and waking up early over sleeping late - it just feels less awful throughout the day and it shouldn’t do as much damage to your sleep schedule as one all nighter will

get yo priorities straight

learn to say “no” to things that will take up your time but won’t really benefit you

recognize that not everything is important

that being said! take breaks!!

burnout is real my friends

a lot of people say that you should use your downtime to work, and you definitely can if you want to and feel able to

it’s so easy to feel like you have to be studying or working 24/7, and that’s not true

if you feel like you really need a break, take a break

spend time with your family and friends! treat yourself with some ice cream! go for a walk (without your phone)! call someone who lives far away from you to say you miss them!

being productive is great, and even if you’re the kind of person that can handle that much work without burning out, that stress will release itself elsewhere - some harsh words you didn’t mean, some small thing that annoyed you more than it should have

ok that was a lot crammed into one post, but i have one more important point: be excited for school!!! it may be stressful at times (most of the time) but school is a place where we learn things and better ourselves and open our minds to new perspectives! i am personally so psyched for 10th grade and i think having that attitude will make back to school a lot easier :)

i hope some of these tips help you, and as usual feel free to drop me an ask about anything! i’ll be writing more of these “quick tip”-type masterposts for back to school because they’re a looot less time consuming for me to make (being honest here). let me know what you think of this format! and if you have any requests for masterpost topics i’m always open to those. 

[tales-from-exo-planet]

MARSEILLE || PATHCODES VOL. II

ACT I. “Qui n’avance pas, recule” Length - 4,648 Mood - trepidation, unease Pairing - Junmyeon x Reader

Warning - N/A

“You’ll know when you grow up//I still don’t get that saying//Living each day by holding things inside//Is that what becoming an adult is?” “Being An Adult” by Kim Na Young

December

“Junmyeon, you’re such a clever young man. Pity you weren’t the first born son,” the executive gave another booming laugh as he stood to shake hands with Junmyeon, who masked his annoyance within seconds of the man’s utterance.

From where you sat you could hear the sharp inhales ________ (Berlin Reader,) and ______ (New Almaty Reader) took discreetly before intermittently taking a sip of wine.

Even Minseok, gave a chic smile, his eyes flashing as he looked on at the gentleman.

In response, Minseok rose and gave the gentleman an equally firm hand shake, gazing at the rod straight posture Junmyeon held.

You rose to give the executive your farewells as well, standing to the side once you shook his hand as well as his board members.

“To the future of our mutual interests. Here is to the beginning of Elixier. May this mighty vision turn not only the power and heat of the Earth into healing springs for our customers but also turn our efforts into gold that we can thrive off of for generations to come,” he proclaimed, the boom in his voice as powerful as his girth.

You lifted your glass in unison with the small assembly to punctuate his toast, seeing Junmyeon thinking about making a toast of his own.

“We cannot thank you enough for your investment into the Pathcodes, and into Elixier. I will give my absolute best, and would appreciate your continued support. May the water of life invigorate not only our cause but may it transform the world. I thank you,” he bowed humbly, and the business executive did likewise before everyone took another hearty sip of wine before you resumed your seat as Junmyeon and Minseok spoke privately with the gentleman as he and his board members stepped away from the table.

You lowered your eyes as he led the executive and his private dining party away while you,  _____ (Berlin Reader,) and ______ (New Almaty Reader) waited for him to return.

“Ahem, you don’t have to add that comment-” _____ (Berlin Reader) began but you gave her a you-can’t-actually-be-serious look.

“I’m just saying…” she sighed as she took another generous sip of wine, before quickly tapping through her contacts and placing her phone to her ear, the acrylic of her manicured nails flashing at her brisk movements.

“_______ (Lyon Reader)? Hi. So did you speak with her? Mhm. Well we can wait a little while. Yes we can put it on hold. Mhm. Well if we need to have a conference with the two of them but separately then let’s do that. We are going to reevaluate our plan for the following year in a couple of days anyway. Yes. Mhm. I like the idea of them doing a soft opening or a mock opening at our venue. It’s possible. Mhm. But did she suggest that or are you suggesting it now…? Mhm. Mhm. Ok. Well I’ll see you in a couple of weeks. Yes I know...I can’t believe it’s December already too. Goodness. Don’t remind me. Mhm I hear her. Minseok wanted to send presents but I told him that we should wait until you all get here...well. Well if you say so. Mhm. My assistant is ready whenever you are. Ok. Sure. Of course. You know he loves to dote. There were a couple of gifts I told him we’d have to wait on...darling she isn’t old enough yet. Mhm. Mhm. So are you flying in earlier still or are you sending your associate and your intern? Mhm. Sure I’ve arranged flights either way. Mhm. Ok well we’ll see you soon. Mhm. Be well,” she held a quiet smile on her lips as she spoke with ______, your dear friend that you’d been texting earlier that day prior to your business meeting.

“We need his support...unfortunately….,” ______ (New Almaty Reader) sighed once she was done, before standing to collect the notes she worked to compile.

You were actually surprised that she hadn’t brought the iPads she’d ordered and compiled notes on.

“When I looked through his profile and spoke with ______ (Berlin Reader) about it again prior to today, he seemed more like an old school man. That he would rather have a pen and paper to look at instead of swiping through screens. We can always use them later,” she had said before the executive and his associates arrived.

You stood to stretch, rolling your shoulders back and forth before swinging your head side to side methodically.

You could hear Minseok and Junmyeon conversing as they walked up the spiral steps to the private dining area of Elixier, Junmyeon and Minseok’s brainchild.

Junmyeon gave a long yawn after they reached the top of the steps, shaking out his shoulders as Minseok continued on.

“We’ll do everything we can to secure his support. This is a prime moment for us Junmyeon. I know he’s an old associate of your brother’s but there was a reason for that. He is a powerful man. He heads not only the electrical components but also the internal distribution networks. Imagine the magnitude of this Junmyeon. Imagine being able to supply electricity provided through this geothermal energy not only to the local districts but throughout France. Imagine being able to not only heat your spa here at Elixier but also industrial plants and agricultural organizations throughout this country? All while providing power that is cost-effective, sustainable, and friendly to the environment? You have a brilliant idea here Junmyeon. I’m just your muscle...let me help you. Let me connect you with the right people,” Minseok said, keeping his voice level though the only persons in attendance besides your small party were all trusted staff men and women who were currently cleaning up the kitchen after your private meal.

Within Junmyeon’s eyes, you could see his reservations, and though you wished he would take a risk here, you knew better than to push him considering the past couple of years.

“We have had to delay this project for months at a time due to geophysical surveys we had to take. I won’t even go into more of the finances...but right now we have to decide. We’ve secured a lot of contracts within the past couple of weeks. I understand this is separate altogether from your father’s original plan. But keeping it old school isn’t good for the Earth and it isn’t what the Pathcodes is about...also with what’s happened with your brother...we need to transition far and away from that field in particular,” Minseok went on when Junmyeon had nothing to say.

He stayed quiet for another moment, considering all that his elder and dearest friend advised him of before he lifted his head, and looked to everyone standing around the dining table looking at him.

When his eyes found yours, you smiled encouragingly and he nodded to you.

“Well that settles it then...are we heading back to the hotel now? I want to sleep for at least two hours before I catch my flight,” ______ (New Almaty Reader) announced as she gathered her purse, her heels clicking as she moved towards the stairs.

_____ (Berlin Reader) was right on her heels, descending the steps behind her as soon as Minseok nodded.

He followed behind ______ (Berlin Reader) after taking a final sip of wine, and you moved to Junmyeon’s side after picking up your purse & tablet that sat in your seat beside you throughout the meeting.

“What do you really think?” You asked him, as he brought you into his side, wrapping your arms around his toned waist as he pressed a kiss against your brow.

His jaw tensed for a moment before he responded.

“I guess it’s up to me now. To not only save our family’s business but our legacy...and here I thought that I was going to remain the useless one,” he chuckled but you could hear the derision in his tone.

“Jun-” he shook his head, wrapped his arms around you as he kissed your nose.

“I want to go home and rest too before we head over there,” he said, clearly ending the conversation.

He released you, stepping out of your embrace to take your hand in his as you descended the steps with him leading the way.

When you made it to the entrance of Elixier, the staff stood at the kitchen entrance as if waiting to see you off.

The head chef had called everyone in early that morning to practice their serving routine for the business meeting you had just left.

She looked relieved to see you both standing at the foot of the stairs now ready to depart.

It meant her day of hard work was done for this weekend.

“Thank you so much for your support this weekend everyone. I cannot thank you enough for how diligent you all have been. We will be closed now until our grand opening in a couple day’s time. Please rest well and enjoy your time off. Have a good evening,” Junmyeon smiled, the tension of the last couple hours lifting as he smiled his brightest smile.

The staff cheered, walking up to you both and congratulating you too on your hard work.

“Champagne for the staff?” the head chef asked as she greeted you both.

“Why don’t we hold off until the night of the grand opening? That’s our final test,” Junmyeon said in response and she nodded immediately.

“Sir, Madam,” she winked at you as she took her leave back through the kitchen doors.

As the staff finished their goodbyes to you and Junmyeon, they also returned to the kitchen and you and Junmyeon headed out into the lobby before heading out where the valet waited with your car to greet you.

“Good evening Mr. Kim,” he said, inclining his head to Junmyeon who greeted him in turn.

He held the door for you, and took his time walking around the car before getting in and putting the car into drive.

After taking a nap together, you rested on Junmyeon’s chest while he anchored your weight against him, you woke refreshed, and took your time dressing, pulling on a simple dress and cardigan while Junmyeon pulled on dark blue slacks and a pressed white button shirt.

“We could take the evening to rest Junmyeon…” you suggested quietly, as he came up behind you to help you with the clasp of your necklace.

He pressed his hands against the top of your shoulders, sliding his hands down your frame until they touched your waist as he brought his face forward until his cheek touched yours, your faces now side by side.

He nuzzled your cheek for a moment, turning into your skin to kiss you gently.

You closed your eyes, pulling him by his hands so that he could wrap his arms around your waist and snuggle you closer.

“I’m not sure how to do this,” he whispered suddenly, his cheek once again pressed against your cheek.

His voice was so small, and afraid.

And you were afraid that if you opened your eyes, he would be smiling once again as if he hadn’t said a word.

So you remained quiet waiting for him to say more, but he only tightened his grip on your hands, squeezing them back where you squeezed them before intertwining your fingers.

“It’s ok to be afraid,” you whispered as quietly as you could slipping your fingers between his, offering him the moment where it was finally just you and him once again.

“But right now…” he gave a broken sigh, and you felt him stepping away, his hands opening as if to signal to you by gesture alone that he wanted to be left alone.

And you released him though you wanted to keep him close.

Open up to me.

“Junmyeon...please,” you said to his back as he turned to leave the bathroom.

He stopped, turning his chin over his shoulder, his eyes on the door.

“We don’t want to go too late. Visiting hours usually aren’t that long,” he whispered, his dress shoes scuffing the floor as he went.

Your drive to the hospital was quiet save for the pounding of your heart in your ears.

You thought you heard Junmyeon shifting away from you as he drove quietly.

He’d been distant for some time after the news of his father’s stroke, and the failure of his father to return to stable health status following the news of his brother’s reported indecency with the company stock.

“I thought she had reported it the first time I saw the news…” his mother had sniffed in your direction when you arrived early one morning with Junmyeon on his routine visit to check in on his father following a visit with ______ (Lyon Reader) once she returned from Edinburgh the day before.

Upon her return, she called you as soon as she landed.

“Are you busy today? Can we have lunch? It’s been so long,” she stated. You could hear her pouting.

“It has been so long. I think Junmyeon has a free afternoon today. Tomorrow we’ll be at the hospital to visit again,” you sighed and she waited a moment before responding.

“Well come by as soon as you can. Let’s enjoy an afternoon together?” she asked before you hung up and you hurried to get Junmyeon up from his nap so you could join them.

As soon as you arrived, she whisked you through the foyer to her private garden.

Junmyeon couldn’t hide his smile at the sight of the private sushi bar.

He couldn’t turn around to thank _______ (Lyon Reader) fast enough.

She was already hugging him, saying, “it’s so good to see you both! Please help yourself! Baekhyun and I sampled a little bit before you came just to make sure.”

He hugged her back, genuinely squeezing her.

She left you two to sample some of the sushi she ordered while she went to check on Yun Hee.

When she returned you made light conversation about plans of the other Pathcodes members and she expressed her concerns openly about Sehun, ________ (Edinburgh Reader,) and _______ (Colorado Reader.)

“I don’t know if we’ll be able to talk about it at our next planning meeting but I feel like we have to. Baekhyun and I are juggling a lot right now. I’m not sure about everyone else...but something has to shift. I feel like instead of bringing us closer together it sometimes tears us apart...and I can’t keep going like this…” she said while keeping her emotions in check.

You nodded, picking up where she left off.

“It’s been really hard…” you wanted to go on but you knew it wasn’t your place.

You hoped Junmyeon didn’t think you set up this little heart to heart behind his back.

But this conversation was something you couldn’t even get Junmyeon to think about in private.

You had his full attention in bed or when discussing details of the Pathcodes.

When it was time to brainstorm he was by your side.

When he was ready to release the storm brewing inside of him, he was...well.

But this heart to heart…?

Baekhyun arrived just at that moment, briskly walking through the garden doors to greet you all.

“안녕,” he grinned, leaning down to kiss ______ (Lyon Reader) full on the mouth before he came around to hug both you and Junmyeon.

“My mother is here to visit for a couple days so I had to pick her up from the airport,” he explained as he sat down and then you picked up on your conversation.

“I agree, jagi,” he said to your dear friend, intertwining his fingers within hers as he took her hands in his.

She looked to him as he spoke.

The open fondness in her eyes melted your heart as you watched her.

“Maybe we’re going about this in the wrong way...I’m not saying we should give up on the Pathcodes. I think we need to find out how to make this work for us. I want to build something for my family, but I don’t want it to break my family. Does that make sense?” Baekhyun asked as he looked at you and Junmyeon in his mansion garden.

“I can understand that. Adulthood is about responsibility but you shouldn’t have to strain and drive yourself and everyone around you to the edge…” you chimed in and _______ (Lyon Reader) nodded in agreement.

“Fatherhood suits you, Baekhyun,” Junmyeon murmured in adoration, and Baekhyun blushed his ears pink as he sputtered making ______ (Lyon Reader) giggle as she snuggled into him.

You laughed too, parallel to the scene.

“I was nervous at first,” Baekhyun confessed in his trademark sincerity as their butler excused herself and lit the candles on your table and around the garden.

You turned to see the way the garden looked when it was lit, and took a moment to breath in the soft perfume of the floral buds surrounding you.

It was dizzying in an exhilarating way.

It was so _____ (Lyon Reader.)

“Because it’s not an easy thing. Fatherhood asks more of you. I was already all in for sharing my life with _____ (Lyon Reader) and then when I found out we were going to have a child...a daughter...I can’t describe that feeling,” there were tears in your eyes to hear him tell it.

“I will do everything I can to protect our family. Everything and anything I can. I’ve always been ambitious in my own way and have always worked hard because that’s all I know. But fatherhood almost feels like...it’s going to sound silly but I feel like I suit up every day and accomplish different missions throughout my day and once I clear them I get the reward of coming home and…” he looked at ______ (Lyon Reader) his eyes full of an intimate love you were slightly embarrassed to witness.

“It doesn’t sound silly at all,” she whispered and you knew full well that she would have kissed him right then and there but she coyly smiled at him, leaning into him and allowing him to kiss the top of her head instead.

You let out a shaky breath as you wiped your tears, and Junmyeon took your hand.

“That same passion you have for protecting your family. That’s how I knew my father to be. He always did things in his own way but I tried to understand it to be for the best for us. I...I don’t know what kind of man I would be without his example,” he confessed, and you felt his hand twitch slightly as he spoke, his eyes on the wine glass in his hand that the butler filled what now felt like hours and hours ago.

He kept his emotions in check as he spoke, not revealing anything deeper than that for the rest of the evening.

And for you, you tried to allow that to be enough.

From your own experience as a child who hadn’t had the chance to meet her birth parents, and had only known a mother who was hard working but distant you could understand Junmyeon’s reserved appreciation.

While your mother made space for you to bloom intellectually, that was where her investment remained.

She worked earnestly and remained steadfast in providing a healthy environment for your developmental and intellectual maturity.

And you felt that you had had a healthful upbringing from that standpoint until you met _______ (Lyon Reader.)

And when you finally met her Baekhyun…

You realized that you had only touched love superficially, and vicariously through her.

And it scared you how it didn’t bother you at first, to sit side by side with her and to witness her falling in unabashed, audacious love.

And it frightened you all the more seeing how you loved Junmyeon.

And how he loved you.

It was sincere.

Of that you were sure.

He would never hurt you, and he kept what you offered of yourself safe in his arms.

But you realized that your heart was what you still kept safe even from you.

And he let you keep your heart safe because he did the same.

But when moments like this happened…

When he was looking his pain stricken father in the face, and facing his mortality with him…

You wished you could find the key to him.

December

“Don’t wake him. He needs to rest,” his mother sniffed once more in your direction as you sat beside Junmyeon who focused his attention on his father who dozed before him.

You heard the soft click of the hospital door behind you but you didn’t turn to see whether his mother had left or not.

You focused on Junmyeon beside you, mirroring the quiet way he sat with his hands open, his palms flat against his thighs.

He sat still for another breath before leaning forward and whispering to his sleeping father, “I’m sorry 아버지. I’m so sorry. Please. Please if there is anything that I can do, please let me know so that you are comfortable.”

You felt your eyes welling with tears as you listened to his request but held yourself back.

Liver cancer.

“Liver cancer?” Junmyeon had echoed the physician immediately upon being given the news.

You expected his elder brother to be in attendance and for him to have been the one to deliver the news to the board of their family enterprise.

You expected a lot of his elder brother.

But mismanagement of company funds had not been one of them.

But it was apparently something he felt entitled to the day he was given his share of the family business.

He found every opportunity to create mysterious financial managers to handle this fund or that fund that he swore would balance the budget and debts owed to stakeholders.

And year after year he was trusted, waving away his father’s questions and the board’s doubts.

Until the price of the company stock plummeted following the news broke by a local hard nosed reporter of his mismanagement that was beyond the scope of the definition entirely.

It blindsided Junmyeon, the board and his father who had already been admitted after a stroke some days before the report was released.

And then came the lawsuits.

You couldn’t keep count of how many people jumped ship and you’d stopped asking Junmyeon a long, long time ago.

He hesitated as he suddenly moved beside you but then he moved purposefully closer to his father, reaching for his hand, and holding his hand in his with uncertainty.

It was odd watching from your angle and you jumped at the sudden fluttering of his father’s eyes as he searched for the reason behind the sudden sensation.

He looked at you both, his gaze lingering on you for a slight moment before he looked at Junmyeon.

He opened his mouth to speak, clearing his throat repeatedly.

“You should have been my only child.”

What?

Junmyeon shifted uncomfortably as he placed his father’s hand down.

“아버지...what do you mean? What are you talking about? What’s going on..?”

His father shook his head from side to side, before he spoke again.

“Your brother made a fool of us. He’s gotten cocky. He thinks that because I’m not in good health that he can do whatever he wants. He thinks that he can just take over the company…” he coughed as he spoke with vigor and he shocked you by doing his best to sit up.

What was going on?

Hadn’t both himself and his wife always allowed their eldest to lead and to be in charge?

“아버지 I don’t understand. I thought he was doing your will…?” Junmyeon sat back after helping to prop his father up, fluffing the pillows behind him and supporting him as he shifted around to get comfortable.

“He asked me to sell my share among other things. I didn’t end up doing it and we did argue about it but I still thought he was doing what you asked of him to do,” Junmyeon said honestly.

“No...he shouldn’t have done that,” his father said shaking his head once again.

He looked at Junmyeon as if to say that now he had every intention of telling the truth.

“He’s gotten into trouble again. He’s always gambled with his own funds and trusted his wild investments to cover him. But he went too far this time…”

The cold sweat of fear was starting to seep into your clothes as you listened to him.

“He lied to some potential investors telling them that we were in possession of bitcoin. He even held an auction-”

Junmyeon shook his head in disbelief.

“No father. No...how can he do this to our family?”

“He’s not even your brother,” he said, his tone flat.

“...what?” You whispered.

“That is my brother. What do you mean?” Junmyeon’s tone was becoming panicked.

“He was my elder brother’s illegitimate child,” his father went on. “He was married at the time and always...always making mistakes without consequences. The younger brother always pays the price for the elder’s mistakes.”

His tone darkened as he continued.

“My elder brother was unfaithful. He was unfaithful to his vows. He was unfaithful to our family. And when it was revealed that there was a child to be born of his unfaithfulness because the young woman came forward...he turned to his younger brother because he couldn’t risk his father finding out that he had dishonored his marriage to his father’s trusted business partner. The marriage had been agreed upon and refused numerous times due to his eldest son’s reputation. To risk his father finding out about his marriage not only risked shame, but the very future of the family business. So he asked his younger brother to take the fall. ‘Just say that it was your child. Just say that she’s your girlfriend and that you weren’t careful…’”

You didn’t know where to look as you listened to his father but when you chanced a glance at Junmyeon, you felt fresh tears welling up at the miserable way he slumped his shoulders.

But his father persisted, “I was asked to marry your mother. And since his birth, she has always celebrated the birth of her eldest son. And she consented to the marriage as long as she could continue to see my elder brother as she always had. But I demanded that if we were meant to truly be married and if I were to keep my silence, that we had a child of our own.”

Junmyeon lowered his head to his hands.

It all made sense to you now.

The way she looked at him.

His birth had trapped her in a marriage that she didn’t want to a man she didn’t love.

Your heart broke to hear it revealed to Junmyeon and in this way.

Had his mother known that her secret would be revealed today?

How could she?

“Why would you want to have a child…? I don’t understand…” Junmyeon asked, his head still in his hands.

“I had to make sure our marriage was legitimate when our father began to find out about the other children. Our father began to ask me about our relationship, and the circumstances of our eldest son’s birth. I had to make sure. I had to protect my brother. And it was also for me. I wanted a family. I wanted happiness,” he answered, his tone softening as he reached for Junmyeon who jumped in surprise at his father’s touch.

“You’ve been my happiness Junmyeon. You’ve made me so proud. You’re a wonderful son…” he said, patting his son’s hand as he laid back down to rest, closing his eyes.

[publicadjusternear]

Public Adjusters Claims: Why call a Palm Beach County Public Adjuster?

As a Public Adjuster Palm Beach County, we see a wide scope of home rooftop spills. This one spread through the rooftop, between the divider bars, and all around the house. Odds are had the property holder called their insurance agency first, they would no doubt have recently fixed the release and re-painted the dividers. Notwithstanding, on the grounds that this mortgage holder chose to call a Palm Beach County Adjuster first their home harm circumstance was taken care of quickly and without any problem. At the point when we showed up and tried the dividers for dampness, it turned out to be clear there was a lot more concerning issue fermenting. Look down to peruse the article. 

Public Adjuster Palm Beach County 

An awful rooftop seal between a rooftop and the house permitted water to enter this home in Palm Beach County. The water caused a wide scope of issues including a harmed floor, harmed dividers, and a shape issue. The following are the photos showing the degree of the harm. By taking a gander at these photos, you will actually want to handily see why calling a Palm Beach County public adjusters are the most brilliant move a property holder could make. Despite the fact that this house was situated in Palm Beach County, our administrations stretch out to Broward County and Martin County. On the off chance that you are situated in West Palm Beach, Jupiter, Palm Beach Nurseries, Lake Worth, Boynton Beach, Delray Beach, Boca Raton, Pompano Beach, Fortress Lauderdale, Deerfield Beach, Stuart, or Port St. Lucie, we are here to assist you with all your home or business property harm issues. 

This complete modest and quick disposition numerous insurance agencies have is the reason for the majority of our more genuine home harm protection claims. Since this mortgage holder called us first, the mortgage holder was saved a huge load of pressure and set aside cash. l In this water harm article beneath, I won't just clarify why calling us originally was a keen move – I will likewise incorporate pictures that show the shrouded harm and developing mold that most insurance agencies disregard. The huge issue with the present circumstance is that the water entered from one put on the rooftop, at that point went along the bars inside the home to another piece of the home. 

At the point when we showed up had the option to follow the water harm through the home, fix the dividers, and remediate the shrouded shape.

When we assessed the home, we saw that the divider trim was broken because of the development and constriction of water. This development and withdrawal proceeded through the floor too. Breaks in dividers are regularly the main indication of genuine water harm. In the event that you notice divider breaks or roof stains, your first call ought to be to Public Adjusters Palm Beach County. 

Numerous insurance agencies would have just fixed the release, painted the divider, and refinished the floor. By taking a gander at these photos you can unmistakably see the degree of the harm. 

By calling us first, we had the option to get the mortgage holder a settlement that took care of the expense of fixing the water harmed floor, supplant the shape-covered drywall alongside the sections of flooring and hardwood floor. 

Remember that with regards to home water harm, time is significant, There's a wide scope of optional annihilation that will happen as increasingly more time passes. As the dampness spreads through the home, it causes impressively more harm. At Fox Public Protection Adjusters, we have the most recent hardware which is utilized to distinguish dampness in dividers, under floors, and under the rug. Our specific hardware permits us to affirm our discoveries and track down shrouded water harm before it develops into an immense issue. 

At the point when a property holder encounters water harm in Palm Beach County or some other piece of South Florida, their first call ought to be to us. While water harm may seem like no biggie, it's really an immense arrangement. If not treated effectively, the water dampness will begin the shape developing cycle in 24-48 hours. 

The shape is an organic entity that eats the sugar in wood, accordingly annihilating your home. The more sugar the form eats, the quicker it develops. Notwithstanding mold eating your home, the form discharges hazardous poisons that will cause a wide scope of ailments. Regularly a home will endure water harm and the mortgage holder will not realize they have a shape issue. This article clarifies the issues related to leaving a shape issue unchecked. A form of a bad dream. Simply after a few excursions to the specialist with respiratory issues, will the property holder or specialist begin to presume shape harming? For more data on shape read this article. 

Public Adjusters: How shape develops

By first testing for shape and dampness, we had the option to confirm that there was an issue behind the home's baseboard. Left untreated, the form and dampness behind to baseboard would bring about extra shape development. Shape develops by eating the sugars in the wood, whenever permitted, the form would spread all through the home design eating all aspects of the house. Numerous property holders accept that by essentially letting the shape be it would dry and vanish. Nothing could be further from reality. Disregarding a water or dampness issue is the most exceedingly awful thing a mortgage holder could do. 

Over the recent weeks, Palm Beach County had downpour consistently. We didn't simply have a couple of sprinkles like clockwork, we got colossal dousing! Given the measure of downpour fall and flooding, there is no doubt that we will keep extremely occupied. At the point when tempests hit South Florida, and flood harm results many experienced mortgage holders realize that calling a Public Protection Adjuster initially is the most astute move a landowner can make. At the point when Palm Beach County gets hit with a downpour like this, numerous homes endure water interruption. 

The areas are planned with the goal that the downpour water, runs into the roads depleting framework, the rising water should spill into the local area's lakes and flood the executive's frameworks. Nonetheless, when the local area's flood the executive's framework is over whelmed, the rising water has no spot to go. In the event that your home has inappropriate evaluating, if your canals are stopped up, in the event that you have some other sort of home issues or harm, a bunch of tempests like the ones we just had, will open a mortgage holder's eyes to any overlooked home issues. 

On the occasion, a home has any kind of rooftop spills, establishment breaks, divider breaks, or whatever other issue that may permit water to enter your home, this could be a reminder. As a public compiler in Palm Beach County, our prompt is to invest some energy searching for indications of water harm. Take a gander at the dividers and roofs of your home for indications of water harm. Any earthy-colored spots ought to be examined. Investigate the floors along with your home's dividers. On the off chance that your home has established harm water could leak inside. Check your home's loft. In the event that water gets in through a broken rooftop, the water can pool in your home's upper room and transform into form. As of now South Florida, particularly Palm Beach County is a wet spot. This is the ideal opportunity to forestall future water harm issues. 

At the point when your home experiences harm from a flood, storm, typhoon it's essential to employ the best Public adjuster palm in beach county that you can discover. How would you realize you found the correct public protection adjuster? There are a couple of things you could consider when you pick a public adjuster. To start with, you should just recruit an authorized public adjuster. Palm Beach County necessitates that a public adjuster has a 3-20 public adjuster permit. Getting this permit requires an apprenticeship alongside passing the 3-20 e3xam. The measure of classwork and fieldwork needed to become authorized is broad.

Despite the fact that having a Palm Beach County public adjuster permit is a necessity, there are numerous project workers, roofers, and others that are glad to support your home, while likewise offering their public changing help. On the off chance that you have home harm, and somebody who isn't authorized proposals to fix your property and record your case, you ought not to recruit that individual. 

An authorized public compiler is considerably more than a straightforward roofer, form evacuation individual or worker for hire. A public compiler knows how a wide range of home harm is connected. For instance, a harmed rooftop doesn't generally end with a rooftop fix. In some cases, that rooftop harm implies there is a rooftop release, a rooftop break could likewise turn into a shape issue. While a roofer, could fix the rooftop, odds are, the roofer isn't a shape master. 

After a tempest or a tropical storm hits Palm Beach County, numerous roofers travel to the region searching for rooftops to fix. As a property holder, you should just recruit a public protection adjuster.

By employing a Public Adjuster, you don't have to stress over all the administrative noise or rounding out hills of desk work. 

On the off chance that you are somebody who is threatened by administrative noise or hills of desk work, at that point employing a public compiler is gigantic in addition to. It isn't so much that there is anything amiss with an organization requiring required administrative work. The issue happens when the mortgage holder commits an error that influences the protection settlement. In a protection guarantee circumstance, it's significant that the mortgage holder doesn't say some unacceptable thing. A portion of this administrative work might be identified with the deterioration of the property. 

For instance, if the protection adjuster concludes that your rooftop is too old, your case might be denied. Different bits of administrative work alludes to the arrival of your protection guarantee. It's vital no to favor a came up short on protection settlement too soon simultaneously. As a Public Adjuster who administrations Palm Beach Nurseries, Boca Raton, Stronghold Lauderdale, and all of Martin County we are extremely acquainted with all the necessary desk work. Todd the proprietor of Fox Public Adjusters is likewise a previous protection specialist so he is knowledgeable in presenting the administrative work accurately. What're more various pieces of South Florida may require various kinds of protection guarantee desk work. 

For instance, the administrative work needed by a Stronghold Lauderdale Public compiler might be one of a kind to Broward County or explicitly Fortress Lauderdale. A Boca Raton Public Adjuster may have prerequisites that are just needed in Boca Raton. A large number of our customers live in Palm Beach Nurseries which gets hit by genuine downpour storms and at times high breezes produced by typhoons. 

Todd from Fox Public Adjusters is a specialist at investigating at a home, finding the water harm and afterward following the water harm to its completion point. Since Todd is an accomplished home development worker for hire just as a previous protection specialist, he understands the stuff to fix water harmed home appropriately just as how to function with the property holders insurance agency. 

Notwithstanding having his public compiler permit, Todd has claimed his own home contracting business. This implies that notwithstanding surveying home harm, he has total information on the lodging building. This is useful in light of the fact that he knows what a tempest or typhoon will mean for the respectability of your home. Todd likewise has his Florida form assessor permit. In the event that your homes property harm, brings about any type of water harm, Todd will actually want to decide whether any shape came about because of the water harm. Todd at Fox Public Adjusters is likewise a 220 authorized protection specialist. This gives you, as a property holder an edge since he knows how insurance agencies work. He knows about all the stunts that insurance agencies use as a method of keeping away from the cost of paying a high settlement. 

On the off chance that you live in Port St. Lucie, Deerfield Beach, Stuart, Fortress Lauderdale, Boca Raton, Pompano Beach, Delray Beach, Boynton Beach, Lake Worth, Palm Beach Nurseries, Parkland, Fortification Lauderdale or West Palm Beach and have a home water harm from a rooftop spill, plumbing issue, or any sort of flood call us at (561) 789-4FOX. 

Rooftop breaks can cause issues you can't see. Allow FOX to control you through the case interaction. 

Labeled Best South Florida Public Adjusters Boca Raton Rooftop Damage Delray Beach Rooftop Damage Home Harm in Palm Beach County Lake Worth Rooftop Damage Palm Beach County Public insurance Adjusters Palm Beach County Rooftop Damage Port St. Lucie Property Damage Public Adjusters in Palm Beach County Public insurance Adjuster in South Florida Public Protection Adjuster Roof spill in Palm Beach County South Florida Public protection adjusted water harm in Palm Beach CountyWest Palm Beach Rooftop Harm 

Advantages of Utilizing a Public Compiler to Help Settle Your Protection Guarantee: 

1. Public Adjuster's involvement in protection cases can assist you with getting a bigger settlement! 

2. Public Adjuster's comprehension of protection language and strategy terms assist you with arranging a superior settlement! 

3. Public Adjuster's information on the protection business and protection guarantee measure works in support of yourself! They work to stay away from expensive missteps by realizing what to search for during the protection claims measure. 

4. Public Adjuster's need is consistently YOU, the customer, not the insurance agency. A public adjuster works for you, and has no binds with your insurance agency. 

Do you understand what your protection guarantee is worth, and what you are entitled as well? We do! We are knowledgeable about a wide range of property harms, for example, water/form harm, fire/smoke harm, wind/cyclones/storms, defacement and that's just the beginning. You are gambling an excessive amount to not call and request a FREE discussion! 

Documenting a Protection Guarantee, READ THIS FIRST! 

Strategy holders that pre-owned public adjusters got settlements that were just about as much as 747% HIGHER than if the approach holder had utilized the Residents Protection Adjusters alone. 

Insurance agencies are ready to go to bring in cash. When you have a protection guarantee, do you truly think they need to offer you their absolute best settlement offer the first run-through? 

At the point when you enlist Supporter Cases Public Adjusters, they work to get you the Greatest sum for your protection guarantee harms! We work for you, NOT your insurance agency! At the point when you recruit Supporter Professes to address you, we will consistently have your wellbeing at the top of the priority list (not the insurance agency's overall revenue.) We work to secure you, your home, and your business! 

Genuine Client Remarks About Palm Beach County Public Adjusters: 

I had never utilized a public adjuster in this case, however, I won't ever settle another case without a public adjuster haggling for me! You lifted my payout by 300 percent! 

- Richard S., Florida 

Following five months of unordinary difficulties and consistent opposition from our insurance agency we recruited you to address us so we could fix the harm in our kitchen and front room zones. Your fruitful endeavors prevailing in an installment from our insurance agency that we currently can assemble our kitchen back! 

- Greg W. and Lin Z., Florida 

Much obliged to you for assisting me with my water harm guarantee against the Florida Promontory Insurance agency. Florida Promontory lowballed my case. We confided in your judgment to take our case to examination. You did precisely what you guaranteed and got me multiple times more for my case!"- Leslie C., Florida 

We have helped many customers get an effective property harm protection guarantee recuperation! We are authorized by the conditions of Florida, and cover all urban communities in Palm Beach County: Boca Raton, Boynton Beach, Delray Beach, Lake Worth, Wellington, Palm Beach Nurseries, West Palm Beach, Palm Beach, and so forth

Visit Our Official Website

Additional Resources:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Public_adjuster

https://www.nytimes.com/1993/04/24/news/hiring-an-adjuster-for-damage-claims.html

Contact Us:

Phone: 855-918-0952

Location: https://g.page/ClaimConcepts

[easyfoodnetwork]

Restaurant Gift Cards Could Ultimately Be Bad for Business

279photo Studio/Shutterstock

For restaurant owners reopening their doors in a depressed economy, the “interest” on these loans can be steep

Everything was still more or less normal in San Francisco when Reem Assil opened a second location of her bakery, Reem’s California, in early March. Just a week later, San Francisco issued a shelter-in-place order in response to the coronavirus pandemic — a necessary precaution that, for Assil, led to a devastating drop in sales when she needed them most. “We had to figure out, originally, how to go from one to two locations,” Assil tells Eater. “And then it was how to save two locations in different ways.”

Assil initially encouraged her customers, especially regulars who frequented the bakery’s Oakland location, to purchase gift cards to keep both bakeries afloat. “The gift card strategy made sense for us in the beginning, because we know our business thrives off the regulars that go there,” she says.

Facing massive losses in foot traffic and sales, restaurateurs across the country have turned to gift cards as an emergency stopgap measure. For customers who miss their favorite restaurants, buying a gift card is a way of showing support for local businesses without getting anything in return — at least for now. Well-meaning volunteers have compiled lists of restaurants offering gift cards to make up for lost revenue; companies have made headlines for purchasing tens — or hundreds — of thousands of dollars in restaurant gift cards and distributing them to their employees. But as some cities even gear up to reopen in the coming weeks, Assil and others in her position are quickly discovering the limitations of the gift card strategy.

“There’s only so much cash flow you can get from gift cards,” Assil says. Initially, gift card sales brought in $500 to $1,000 a day, but that revenue quickly plateaued. “We need that money now for the cash flow, but we’ll also need it when we reopen our doors at a full capacity and have to rehire folks and get all that up and running.”

Gift cards essentially function as no-interest microloans — small low-interest loans, usually considered a form of philanthropy. Instead of traditional banks or nonprofit creditors, though, pandemic gift cards serve as loans from customers to restaurant owners. Those loans come due whenever social-distancing measures are relaxed and a customer elects to redeem. In the short term, gift cards can be lifesaving for cash-strapped restaurants: They can drive enough revenue to close out a payroll cycle or be used toward rent. Gift cards may give restaurant owners an immediate sense of security, but ultimately, they could also mean less cash flow down the road — especially once restaurants reopen and people decide to redeem the gift cards they purchased. For restaurant owners looking to reopen their doors in a depressed economy, and after months of financial strain, the “interest” on these loans can be steep.

“People’s incomes and livelihoods are all over the place,” Valeria Taylor, the owner of Loba Pastry and Coffee in Chicago, told Eater. “We’re kind of a luxury item — coffee and pastry are not necessities. That’s what makes it a grim outlook at the end of this.”

After Illinois instituted a shelter-in-place order, Taylor closed up shop for two weeks despite her bakery being considered an essential business. The goal was to reevaluate how to stay open in the long run, she says, and she initially encouraged customers to purchase gift cards to help keep the business afloat. “I didn’t know how long I was going to be closed. The way I explained it to people was that the gift cards were going to be helpful — they were an immediate Band-Aid,” she says. “They were going to help me finish a regular payroll period for now and have something to look forward to in the future.”

Taylor says the gift cards helped her make payroll while the bakery was closed, but she stopped promoting them after just one day. Part of the problem was that she didn’t have a pre-existing gift card infrastructure. Instead, customers sent her the funds via Venmo. “I don’t really do gift cards regularly,” she says. “The gift cards that we had, they were just gift certificates we would write in.”

There’s also the issue of staying open for much longer. Most of the bakery’s income came from regulars — people who would pick up a coffee and pastry on their way to work in the mornings. Now that everyone is either working from home or completely out of work, that customer base has dried up. “I didn’t promote [the gift cards] after the first time I posted on Instagram because I was very uncertain about the future of the shop altogether,” Taylor says. “A gift card is almost like a promise that we will be open again, and I don’t know if that’s going to happen. We’re open for now, but I don’t think this is over — and there’s no guarantee we’re going to survive this if no aid is given to us.”

People who want to support their favorite restaurants by buying gift cards may be out of luck if the business ends up closing for good, and restaurant owners may not want to take the risk of angering their former customers by selling gift cards they don’t know they’ll be able to fulfill given the circumstances. A 2010 consumer protection rule imposed limits on gift card fees and expiration dates, but customers have little recourse if the restaurant or business that issues their gift card shuts down altogether.

Small local chains are also feeling the squeeze. Jason Wang, the CEO of New York City mainstay Xi’an Famous Foods, told Eater the government solutions proposed thus far — including low- or no-interest loans — have been lacking. “[W]hat’s lost is lost, it’s not like we in the restaurant industry can get back the lost sales that we missed ever. That time has passed, and we will forever carry the lull on our financials,” Wang said via email.

Xi’an isn’t offering gift cards at all, Wang said, because it doesn’t have an active gift card system, “nor any staff to implement one.” Instead, the chain has come up with other ways to raise revenue, including selling its chile oil packs online. Wang said Xi’an sold $27,000 worth of chile oil packs the first weekend alone, $8,000 of which covered shipping. The chain will soon roll out “a limited release of noodle meal-kits” so people can recreate its dishes in their homes, he said.

Assil, too, has come up with new ways to keep her restaurants afloat as the pandemic continues. Reem’s has begun selling merch, and the bakery’s Oakland location has fully shifted to a commissary kitchen model, where nonprofit organizations like World Central Kitchen order meals in bulk and distribute them to people in need. Though the commissary kitchen meals are being sold more or less at cost, the partnership is providing enough revenue to keep some people working. The merch, meanwhile, is a more secure source of cash flow than gift cards. The costs are both fixed and up-front: restaurant owners have to pay for supplies and, in some cases, shipping, but there are no additional expenses down the line. The bakery’s San Francisco location has also introduced new menu items designed by employees, with the profits benefiting the businesses’ employee relief fund.

“We’re brainstorming other strategies beyond gift cards that don’t rely on this existing model,” Assil says. “Because it’s like, we don’t know what’s going to happen at the end of this. We hit this sobering reality check somewhere in the middle of all this that we may not go back to the way things were, and pretending that it’s going to be business as usual after this doesn’t feel like a very sustainable way of galvanizing support.”

Still, other restaurant owners have embraced gift cards, even though they acknowledge they aren’t a cure-all. “It’s not a lasting solution — it’s just one thing we can do,” says Ravi Kapur, the chief owner of Liholiho Yacht Club in San Francisco. “Yes, it’s not perfect. If everybody came in the day we opened and the only guests in the gift cards restaurant were using gift cards, yeah, that’d be an issue. But we’re not planning for that to happen.”

Kapur says Liholiho had high gift card sales even before the pandemic and saw a surge immediately after San Francisco’s shelter-in-place order was announced in mid-March. The restaurant is currently offering customers 25 percent off all gift cards.

For Kapur, gift card sales are both practical and symbolic. “It showed that people wanted to support in some way and didn’t know how,” he says. Once the restaurant does reopen, the funds brought in by the gift cards will serve as initial runway. But ultimately, they’re a show of goodwill that will help keep his restaurant on “life support.”

Assil agrees. “It’s more symbolic than anything else, people buying gift cards,” she says. They bring in much-needed cash flow, but they’re more of a sign that a restaurant has a dedicated following than a guaranteed source of income in a worsening economic climate.

“The gift cards are not going to save us,” Kapur says. “When we come out on the other side of this, in some form, we’re not going to be like, ‘Wow, we’re in such a good position because of the gift cards sales.’ It’s like, ‘We’re not in a worse-off position.’”

Gaby Del Valle is a freelance reporter who primarily covers immigration and labor. Her work has appeared in Vox, The Nation, The Baffler, and other publications. She’s the co-founder of BORDER/LINES, a weekly newsletter about immigration policy.

from Eater - All https://ift.tt/3fj6jKS https://ift.tt/2zZGyyZ

279photo Studio/Shutterstock

For restaurant owners reopening their doors in a depressed economy, the “interest” on these loans can be steep

Everything was still more or less normal in San Francisco when Reem Assil opened a second location of her bakery, Reem’s California, in early March. Just a week later, San Francisco issued a shelter-in-place order in response to the coronavirus pandemic — a necessary precaution that, for Assil, led to a devastating drop in sales when she needed them most. “We had to figure out, originally, how to go from one to two locations,” Assil tells Eater. “And then it was how to save two locations in different ways.”

Assil initially encouraged her customers, especially regulars who frequented the bakery’s Oakland location, to purchase gift cards to keep both bakeries afloat. “The gift card strategy made sense for us in the beginning, because we know our business thrives off the regulars that go there,” she says.

Facing massive losses in foot traffic and sales, restaurateurs across the country have turned to gift cards as an emergency stopgap measure. For customers who miss their favorite restaurants, buying a gift card is a way of showing support for local businesses without getting anything in return — at least for now. Well-meaning volunteers have compiled lists of restaurants offering gift cards to make up for lost revenue; companies have made headlines for purchasing tens — or hundreds — of thousands of dollars in restaurant gift cards and distributing them to their employees. But as some cities even gear up to reopen in the coming weeks, Assil and others in her position are quickly discovering the limitations of the gift card strategy.

“There’s only so much cash flow you can get from gift cards,” Assil says. Initially, gift card sales brought in $500 to $1,000 a day, but that revenue quickly plateaued. “We need that money now for the cash flow, but we’ll also need it when we reopen our doors at a full capacity and have to rehire folks and get all that up and running.”

Gift cards essentially function as no-interest microloans — small low-interest loans, usually considered a form of philanthropy. Instead of traditional banks or nonprofit creditors, though, pandemic gift cards serve as loans from customers to restaurant owners. Those loans come due whenever social-distancing measures are relaxed and a customer elects to redeem. In the short term, gift cards can be lifesaving for cash-strapped restaurants: They can drive enough revenue to close out a payroll cycle or be used toward rent. Gift cards may give restaurant owners an immediate sense of security, but ultimately, they could also mean less cash flow down the road — especially once restaurants reopen and people decide to redeem the gift cards they purchased. For restaurant owners looking to reopen their doors in a depressed economy, and after months of financial strain, the “interest” on these loans can be steep.

“People’s incomes and livelihoods are all over the place,” Valeria Taylor, the owner of Loba Pastry and Coffee in Chicago, told Eater. “We’re kind of a luxury item — coffee and pastry are not necessities. That’s what makes it a grim outlook at the end of this.”

After Illinois instituted a shelter-in-place order, Taylor closed up shop for two weeks despite her bakery being considered an essential business. The goal was to reevaluate how to stay open in the long run, she says, and she initially encouraged customers to purchase gift cards to help keep the business afloat. “I didn’t know how long I was going to be closed. The way I explained it to people was that the gift cards were going to be helpful — they were an immediate Band-Aid,” she says. “They were going to help me finish a regular payroll period for now and have something to look forward to in the future.”

Taylor says the gift cards helped her make payroll while the bakery was closed, but she stopped promoting them after just one day. Part of the problem was that she didn’t have a pre-existing gift card infrastructure. Instead, customers sent her the funds via Venmo. “I don’t really do gift cards regularly,” she says. “The gift cards that we had, they were just gift certificates we would write in.”

There’s also the issue of staying open for much longer. Most of the bakery’s income came from regulars — people who would pick up a coffee and pastry on their way to work in the mornings. Now that everyone is either working from home or completely out of work, that customer base has dried up. “I didn’t promote [the gift cards] after the first time I posted on Instagram because I was very uncertain about the future of the shop altogether,” Taylor says. “A gift card is almost like a promise that we will be open again, and I don’t know if that’s going to happen. We’re open for now, but I don’t think this is over — and there’s no guarantee we’re going to survive this if no aid is given to us.”

People who want to support their favorite restaurants by buying gift cards may be out of luck if the business ends up closing for good, and restaurant owners may not want to take the risk of angering their former customers by selling gift cards they don’t know they’ll be able to fulfill given the circumstances. A 2010 consumer protection rule imposed limits on gift card fees and expiration dates, but customers have little recourse if the restaurant or business that issues their gift card shuts down altogether.

Small local chains are also feeling the squeeze. Jason Wang, the CEO of New York City mainstay Xi’an Famous Foods, told Eater the government solutions proposed thus far — including low- or no-interest loans — have been lacking. “[W]hat’s lost is lost, it’s not like we in the restaurant industry can get back the lost sales that we missed ever. That time has passed, and we will forever carry the lull on our financials,” Wang said via email.

Xi’an isn’t offering gift cards at all, Wang said, because it doesn’t have an active gift card system, “nor any staff to implement one.” Instead, the chain has come up with other ways to raise revenue, including selling its chile oil packs online. Wang said Xi’an sold $27,000 worth of chile oil packs the first weekend alone, $8,000 of which covered shipping. The chain will soon roll out “a limited release of noodle meal-kits” so people can recreate its dishes in their homes, he said.

Assil, too, has come up with new ways to keep her restaurants afloat as the pandemic continues. Reem’s has begun selling merch, and the bakery’s Oakland location has fully shifted to a commissary kitchen model, where nonprofit organizations like World Central Kitchen order meals in bulk and distribute them to people in need. Though the commissary kitchen meals are being sold more or less at cost, the partnership is providing enough revenue to keep some people working. The merch, meanwhile, is a more secure source of cash flow than gift cards. The costs are both fixed and up-front: restaurant owners have to pay for supplies and, in some cases, shipping, but there are no additional expenses down the line. The bakery’s San Francisco location has also introduced new menu items designed by employees, with the profits benefiting the businesses’ employee relief fund.

“We’re brainstorming other strategies beyond gift cards that don’t rely on this existing model,” Assil says. “Because it’s like, we don’t know what’s going to happen at the end of this. We hit this sobering reality check somewhere in the middle of all this that we may not go back to the way things were, and pretending that it’s going to be business as usual after this doesn’t feel like a very sustainable way of galvanizing support.”

Still, other restaurant owners have embraced gift cards, even though they acknowledge they aren’t a cure-all. “It’s not a lasting solution — it’s just one thing we can do,” says Ravi Kapur, the chief owner of Liholiho Yacht Club in San Francisco. “Yes, it’s not perfect. If everybody came in the day we opened and the only guests in the gift cards restaurant were using gift cards, yeah, that’d be an issue. But we’re not planning for that to happen.”

Kapur says Liholiho had high gift card sales even before the pandemic and saw a surge immediately after San Francisco’s shelter-in-place order was announced in mid-March. The restaurant is currently offering customers 25 percent off all gift cards.

For Kapur, gift card sales are both practical and symbolic. “It showed that people wanted to support in some way and didn’t know how,” he says. Once the restaurant does reopen, the funds brought in by the gift cards will serve as initial runway. But ultimately, they’re a show of goodwill that will help keep his restaurant on “life support.”

Assil agrees. “It’s more symbolic than anything else, people buying gift cards,” she says. They bring in much-needed cash flow, but they’re more of a sign that a restaurant has a dedicated following than a guaranteed source of income in a worsening economic climate.

“The gift cards are not going to save us,” Kapur says. “When we come out on the other side of this, in some form, we’re not going to be like, ‘Wow, we’re in such a good position because of the gift cards sales.’ It’s like, ‘We’re not in a worse-off position.’”

Gaby Del Valle is a freelance reporter who primarily covers immigration and labor. Her work has appeared in Vox, The Nation, The Baffler, and other publications. She’s the co-founder of BORDER/LINES, a weekly newsletter about immigration policy.

from Eater - All https://ift.tt/3fj6jKS via Blogger https://ift.tt/2W8Paw1

[ramblingthoughtsofayoungadult]

Siren’s Song-Gotham Imagine

Requested: No

Warnings: Violence, sensuality, Joker being Joker

A/N: this is the last part to my Gotham series with Oswald, Joker, and Harley. If you want more imagines about them that aren’t related to this series, feel free to let me know.

   It was strangely dark that night in Gotham and the GCPD was nearly empty since most of the force needed to be on the streets due to the spike in crime rates. Fish’s return had been quite a large one and she seemed to want to make her new reign even bigger and badder than her first one. There were more robberies, shootouts, and muggings in Gotham that ever before in the city and Arkham was about to overflow with prisoners. With this knowledge, Detective Gordon felt pretty dejected as he walked over to his desk, side-stepping two angry small time criminals in handcuffs as well as some exhausted rookie cops. To his surprise someone was sitting at his desk, their back facing his.

      “Excuse me, I don’t believe I had any appointments today,” he said as he walked around to sit down at his desk.

     “I apologize but I called all day to get an appointment and couldn’t get through. I thought it would be a good idea just to walk in unless I’m interrupting something.”

      Jim almost froze when he looked straight at the person sitting in front of his desk: Y/N Mooney-Cobblepot. He had seen her around a couple of times when he first came to the GCPD, but he never had the honor---or dishonor----of meeting her. There were rumors that she was screwing Dent around that time as well, but she seemed to move on with Oswald, much to everyone’s shock. When Fish returned, Y/N seemed to go underground or something since they never got a call with connections to her at the precinct. Then again, she never directly got involved with Fish’s criminal activities or Oswald’s for that matter. 

      “Mrs. Cobblepot,” he said. “I’m sorry, we’ve been pretty busy around here.”

      “I can tell.” She tossed a teasing glance at the nearly empty station.

      “How can I help you?” Jim asked.

      “I don’t think this is a case of only you helping me but rather the both of us helping each other,” Y/N said. 

      She deftly grabbed a manila folder from her tote and set it in front of gym. It was thick with papers inside of it and Jim was surprised. 

      “Gotham has always had its problems----everyone knows that----but the way things are now are detestable. You can rarely go outside now without the fear of getting mugged by some idiot or go to the bank without being afraid of getting held up by that clown---”

      “Joker,” Jim said.

      An uncomfortable expression flashed across Y/N’s dark features as she nodded. “And we both know how Fish is with organized crime and she will kill anyone who gets in the way of business. In that folder is the key to taking down Fish and the Joker and his gang. If you hurry, you can have them all heading to Arkham tonight.”

      Jim was stunned to say the least and a little bit skeptical. Sure, Y/N was directly involved in crimes but she was Fish’s sister, they had to have some shared genes. “Why are you giving me this information?” 

      “I told you, so you can clean up the streets.”

      “But you have to want something else out of this.” 

      Y/N glanced down at her manicured hands as she crossed one leg over the other. “I shouldn’t have tried too pull one over on you, you are a detective after all. All I want is for Oswald to be released from Arkham.”

      “Are you insane? He’s not an innocent man.”

      “He is my husband and I’m loyal to him. What Fish and Joker did to him---” Y/N cut herself off. “Jim, may I call you Jim?”

       Detective Gordon nodded.

      “Oswald has always liked you----I think it has something to do with your unwavering need to uphold the law and your morals----and if you did get him out of Arkham, he would repay you wonderfully.”

       “I don’t want his money.”

       “I don’t mean money, Jim. He can do you little favors here and there that wouldn’t get you in trouble.”

       Detective Gordon nodded slowly as he thought about Y/N’s words. Oswald and he did have a decent past but it wasn’t one Detective Gordon was proud of. He let the man live when Fish wanted him dead, which apparently resulted in Fish getting her revenge on him in the worst way possible. However, Oswald was a good ally to have...

        “What would happen if I didn’t agree to your deal?” he asked.

        Y/N leaned back in her chair. “You would have my blood on your hands.”

       “What?”

       “Do you really think that I haven’t taken any risks by gathering this information for you? While I did do my best to make sure I wasn’t followed, I can never be so certain. If Joker or Fish discover that I betrayed the both of them, there is no telling what way they’ll decide to kill me and though they would have done the actual killing, you had all the power to stop it. What do you say, Jim?”

       Detective Gordon paused for a moment, searching Y/N’s face for any sign of lying. When he found none, he said, “I’ll do it.”

      “It was a pleasure doing business with you, Jim. Please do us both a favor and do not open that folder until I leave.”

       “Fine.”

       Y/N stood and sauntered out of the precinct, her stiletto boots clicking with every step she took. As soon as Y/N exited, Jim opened up the folder and couldn’t keep his mouth from falling open in shock. Inside were detailed accounts and blueprints of the Joker’s plans to rob banks and kidnap different billionaires’ children for extortion as well as Fish’s plans with different mob bosses for shipping cocaine, marijuana, and heroin as well as different hits. The papers in the file were enough to write a novel and it must have taken Y/N months to compile all this information. It was certainly enough for Detective Gordon and Harvey to make an arrest.

                It was almost midnight when Y/N walked into the Joker’s penthouse, wincing as she heard the green-haired maniac’s laughter from his bedroom. Slowly, she slipped off her tan trench coat and walked further into the gaudy living area. She loathed Joker and Harley’s decorating taste which ranged from animal fur accessories to disturbing paintings of clowns hanging on the walls. It made her miss and appreciate Oswald’s sleeker taste even though he usually left the decorating decisions up to Y/N.

      Oswald.

      She missed him every day she was stuck with Harley and Joker and remembered the day Fish got him thrown in Arkham like the back of her hand. The only character witnesses Oswald had were his mother and Y/N, but because of all the crimes he committed, the jury didn’t listen to either of their accounts and quickly sent him to Arkham for twenty years. Y/N was heartbroken and Joker was both furious and hysterical with laughter that Y/N had testified in Oswald’s behalf. In fact, when he, Harley, and Y/N returned to the penthouse, Joker began throwing Y/N around and screaming at her for daring to betray him. Y/N tried to fight back but all she got in return was a smack from Harley for “trying to hurt her Puddin’”. Y/N managed to escape them and hide in her room, trying to keep her sobs quiet. Hours later, Joker walked into her room and proceeded to tell her that the reason he got so upset was because he didn’t “want his siren taken away from him”. It was scary how sincere his words were and from that day on, Y/N vowed to get rid of Joker and Fish. However, she didn’t truly think of a way how until a week later when she discovered that she was pregnant. At first, Y/N wanted to cry simply out of sorrow because she didn’t want her child anywhere near Joker and Harley. Then, she took her pregnancy as an initiative to start plotting against Joker and Fish in the best way----she was going to inform on them. For four months, Y/N secretly copied their plans and took notes of where each of them went on specific dates. Getting Joker’s plans was pretty easy since she lived with him and the guards tended to look the other way whenever Y/N smiled at them, but Fish was a different issue. Fish was much smarter and more secretive than Joker was so getting her plans took a bit more work----Y/N had convinced her sister that she forgave her and understood just why she and Joker got her husband thrown into prison and why Fish handed her over to Joker like a prize. Slowly but surely, Fish let Y/N in on her plans and once she was in, Y/N took full advantage of it. She took down notes of exactly who and where Fish would meet with the different gangsters and mob bosses of Gotham and what business they were up to. Once Y/N got a sizable amount of evidence against both of them, she had to wait for the perfect opportunity to slip away from the house---which was difficult since Joker seemed to always want Y/N under his sight and near him. Fortunately, he had a meeting that night with some sort of distributor that he took Harley to, giving Y/N a couple of hours to slip over to the GCPD and come back in time to send Harley and Joker off.

      “Siren!” Joker shouted when Y/N paused in his doorway.

      He was wearing a silk purple shirt, skintight black pants, and gold rings on each of his fingers. Harley was sitting on his bed, wearing a short tight silver miniskirt and stilettos. Her hair fell past her shoulders in pin straight strands. She grinned wickedly at Y/N.

     “Hello, Joker, Harley,” she said.

     “Where have you been?” Joker asked.

     “I thought I would step outside for some fresh air but I still don’t feel well.”

     Harley pouted. “So you won’t be performin’ tonight?”

     “I’m afraid not----nothing kills the mood more than a singer fainting in the middle of her set.” 

     “You’ve got a good point.” Joker walked over to Y/N and held her face in his hands. “When I find the person responsible for making you feel sick, they’re gonna wish they’ve never been born.”

     You’ve already done that, Y/N thought.

    “I don’t think that’s necessary,” Y/N said. 

    “Oh, of course it is. Whoever does anything to hurt you or try to take you away from me will answer to me, Siren,” he said.

    Y/N bit back her laughter as she stared into his wild blue eyes. No one had hurt her more than Joker----physically, at least. Whenever she would reject his advances----which was often----he would hit her and smack her around out of anger. Then, Harley would sometimes either join in or try to make him stop. Fortunately, Joker never hit Y/N below the waist and Y/N had been able to talk him down ever since she found out she was pregnant. Neither Joker nor Harley knew that Y/N was pregnant since she wasn’t really showing yet and she wore looser fitting clothes. If they did, there was no guessing what they would do, but after that night, Y/N was sure she wouldn’t have to worry about either of them again.

     Suddenly, Joker smashed his lips onto Y/N’s. She winced at the intensity and forced herself to kiss back before Joker pulled away from her.

     “My pretty little siren,” he whispered. 

     “Shouldn’t you two get going?” Y/N murmured as she rubbed Joker’s hand.

     “Yeah, we should, shouldn’t we, Mistah J?” Harley was suddenly holding Joker from behind, making the man roll his eyes.

     “I guess so, Harls.” 

      He released Y/N and the young woman retreated to her own room. She draped her coat over the back of her vanity chair, peeled off her heels, and crawled into bed. As she laid on her side, she began absent mindedly rubbing circles onto the small bump on her lower stomach.

      “I’ve messed up plenty of things in my life, but I am definitely not messing this up,” she whispered.

      Joker’s club was packed with criminals and normal people who just wanted to cut loose. A top hip hop hit was blaring from the speakers and everyone was indeed bumping and grinding to the beast, except for the Clown Prince himself. He preferred to sit in the VIP section and watch everything go down, including Harley, who was dancing on a pole with several other scantily clad girls. He would have been lying if he said that he didn’t wish his siren was there----in fact, he put even more guards on duty at the penthouse to ensure her safety. As soon as she got better, Joker would have her singing again, putting everyone under her spell, including him. Sure, Harley hated how much Joker was obsessed with his siren, but it wasn’t his fault that Harley wasn’t as alluring or mysterious as she was. If only Joker met his siren before that Penguin did then things would definitely be a whole lot different.

        “Your girl looks good up there,” Fish commented.

        Joker looked over at the woman who was wearing a long gold dress that hugged her body. “Yes, she does.”

        “May I sit down?” Fish asked.

        Joker nodded and Fish sat down next to him. “What brings you to my side of town?”

        “Business, which is unfortunate since your place seems pretty...entertaining.”

         “What exactly did you want to talk about?”

          “Well, I have a shipment of Smith and Wessons coming in and I thought you might like to get a cut of it.”

          “My men have enough weapons.”

          “Yes, but you could make a lot of money selling these.”

          “How much do you want for them?”

          Fish raised her eyebrows. “Nothing, nothing at all, we are partners after all and I thought I’d give you a cut of the guns for free and you would give my other associate and I five percent of your earnings.”

          “Each?”

           “Each.”

          Before Joker could respond, the music got cut off and people began trying to run out of the club.

          “GCPD!” Detective Gordon shouted.

         “Everyone stay right where you are!” Harvey snapped.

         They were joined by fifteen other uniformed cops who began ordering people to stand in a proper area. Joker smiled widely as the two detective walked over to the VIP section.

          “Detectives, how can I help you today? Would you like a drink? A dance, perhaps?” he said as he stood.

         “Not today, Joker, you’re under arrest,” Harvey said.

          Joker started laughing as Harvey began reading him his rights. As two other cops got closer to him, two of Joker’s men stepped in their way.

           “That’s a good one, Detective! Arrest me? For what?”

           “Attempted murder, murder in the second degree, bank robbery, extortion, and a whole lot of other stuff. It would be smart for you to come in calmly but I can guess you aren’t going to be calm,” Harvey said.

           Eventually, the two officers arrested Joker’s men and Harvey cuffed the Joker himself as the man cackled. Fish eyed Detective Gordon in a daring sense as she remained in her seat.

          “And I suppose you made up some charges for me too?” Fish asked.

          “They aren’t made up, Fish, we have you on several counts of conspiracy to commit murder, racketeering, and organized crime just to name a couple.” Detective Gordon stepped towards her. “You should come in calmly.”

           “No need for the speech, I know my rights.” Fish stood and let Detective Gordon cuff her. “I’ll be out by morning anyway. You have no proof.”             “On the contrary, we have plenty of it, it’s practically coming out of our ears.”

            That night, a majority of Gotham’s young adults witnessed two of the biggest crime bosses get hauled off to the police station as well as Harley Quinn. Neither of them knew exactly how the police had gotten the ability to arrest either of them and they never would have guessed who sold them out.

              The next morning, Oswald was jerked awake by his cell door slamming open followed by Sanders, the head guard for his block, yelling Oswald’s last name at him to wake him up. The small man felt groggy as he slowly sat up in his bed and put on his shoes, less than ready for another day in the hell known as Arkham. He was sick of group therapy and even sicker of the other actual insane people he was forced to spend time with. However, he did have a lot of free time to plot his revenge against Fish and that traitor, the Joker. There was no telling what the evil green-haired man was doing and how much money both he and that Harley were taking away from Oswald. Oh, there would be hell for all of them to pay as soon as Oswald got out.

         “Rise and shine, Cobblepot,” Sanders said, grinning enough to reveal two rows of yellow teeth.

         “It isn’t even time for roll call yet,” Oswald muttered.

         “No more of that for you. Let’s go.” 

         “What do you mean?”

         “What I just said: let’s go.”

         Oswald didn’t feel like antagonizing the larger, burly man any further so he let the guard cuff him and lead him out of the cell block. He took him all the way towards the front, where Oswald had been forced to be strip searched and hosed down before being allowed into Arkham.

           “What’s going on?” 

        “You’re being cut loose, Cobblepot, thought you’d have been smart enough to realize it.”

         Oswald didn’t bother fighting the grin that tickled at the corners of his mouth. He was finally getting out of the nuthouse-slash-prison. No more listening to schizophrenic chatter while he was trying to sleep or avoiding getting attacked by a paranoid former wrestler. That was all behind him now.

          Sanders signed something before handing Oswald his clothes and leaving him space in a room to change into them. Oswald’s hands were nearly shaking as he changed due to his excitement. Finally, he was going to breathe fresh air again and he was going to see Y/N again.

         Y/N.

        Oswald didn’t even want to think about what Fish or Joker could have done to his lovely wife while he was away. They shouldn’t have touched her since she didn’t have anything to do with their business. Unfortunately, she kind of did in away since one of the best ways of hurting Oswald was to hurt Y/N or his mother. If he found out that either of them laid a hand on Y/N, his revenge was going to be a lot bloodier than he originally planned.

        When he finished changing into his suit, Sanders led him out of the changing area and outside of the prison. It was a cloudy day, but that didn’t bother Oswald at all because it was the first time he had seen the sky in months.

        “Thank you, Sanders, thank you very much,” Oswald said.

       “Don’t mention it, Cobblepot.”

      Oswald’s grin widened even more when he saw Detective Gordon standing on the other side of the prison gates. He wore a grim expression as Oswald limped over to him.

       “Detective Gordon, is it you I have to thank for my early release?” Oswald asked.

       “Only partially, Oswald.” He led Oswald over to his car and once he got in, they began driving back to Gotham. 

       “Still, I will never forget this, Jim. I owe you my life----I owe you everything.”

       “Don’t worry about it, Oswald, just try to keep a low profile.” 

        “Noted. So, if you weren’t wholly responsible for my release, who else was?”

         Jim sighed. “Y/N, she has a way with words.”

         Oswald’s eyes widened. “Y/N, is she all right? Where is she?”

         “Calm down, Oswald, she’s fine as far as I can tell. She would have come over here with me, but she had some sort of appointment.” Jim stared straight ahead as he weaved through the morning traffic. “She risked her life for you, Oswald, she must really care about you.”

         Oswald was stunned. He hardly wanted Y/N risking anything, much less her life over him. He would die for her in an instant but, secretly, he had a nagging feeling that she didn’t exactly feel the same way about him. With the new information Jim gave him, he felt his heart skip a couple of beats. The woman of Oswald’s dreams had done something extremely dangerous and risky to help him. He was a little upset since Oswald never wanted to put Y/N in danger, but it also made Oswald love Y/N even more.

          “Oh my. What did she do, Jim?”

          “It’ll sound better coming from her.”

          “Perhaps.”           The rest of the ride was silent and Oswald was finding it difficult to keep himself still. It seemed as though the drive took forever until they finally arrived at Oswald’s old penthouse. He thanked Jim for the ride as he stepped out of the car slowly and went into his building. No one was really around and if they were, they would have definitely gawked at him. Oswald’s trial had been covered intensely by Gotham media so there was no doubt he would get stares until he was reacclimated into society. He slowly got into the elevator and pressed the floor for the penthouse. When the doors opened, he moved as quickly as he could towards the door. His hands fumbled with his keys and when he finally settled, he was able to open the door. The penthouse was still furnished the same way as though neither he nor Y/N ever left it. 

          Y/N was laying on the chaise, turned on the side with her back facing him. She glanced up when she heard the door open and her eyes opened wide when she saw Oswald. “Oswald.”

          “Y/N.”

          She slowly unfolded herself and walked over to him. Tears were welling up in her eyes and she nearly collapsed on him when she reached Oswald. Her arms were around his neck, tangled in his hair, as she silently cried into his shoulder. Oswald didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her and hold her close.

          “It’s all right, Y/N, we’re together now.”

          “Finally,” she murmured.

          She pulled away and kissed Oswald so intensely that he nearly staggered back. However, he mustered up enough strength to kiss her back just as hard. When he pulled away, he was almost heartbroken at how sad but happy she appeared.

           “No one will ever tear us apart again, Y/N, I promise.” He ran his hand over her hair. “Jim said that you helped get me out.”

            Y/N nodded. “Yes, I made a deal with Detective Gordon. I helped him put away Joker and Fish in exchange to get you out.”

            “How sneaky of you. Did they hurt you?”

            Y/N hesitated. “Not...not really. Joker hit me a couple of times but that was it and Fish never laid a hand on me, but handing me over to the Joker messed with my head.”

           “She...she gave you to him?”

          Y/N nodded. “It doesn’t matter now.”

          “Of course it does! Did he touch you?”

         “He kissed me a couple of times but I never let him go farther than that so he would hit me and Harley would too, occasionally.”

           Oswald shook his head. “They will pay for everything they’ve done to you, to us.”

           “I love you, Oswald.”

          “I love you too,” he said with a small grin.

          “And, I have some news for you,” Y/N said. “I’m pregnant.”

          Oswald blinked in surprise. “For how long?”

          “Four months. I had an appointment about it today or else I would have gone with Detective Gordon to get you.”

            “Yes, he mentioned that,” Oswald said. “Do you know what we’re having yet?”

            “No, I wanted to find out with you, but I know the baby is healthy.”

            Learning about the baby only made Oswald even more certain about his revenge on those who had wronged him and his family. However, in that moment, the only thing he cared about was taking care of his beautiful wife and their child. A time would come for him to enact his revenge and when that time came, Joker, Fish, and Harley were going to regret every little thing they did to Oswald and Y/N Cobblepot. 

[haload701]

Gta 5 Immersion Mods

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Immersive Pickups is a total overhaul of Grand Theft Auto V's pickups system for, as the name implies, immersion. Did you miss GTA IV's Pickups System? Or simply looking for a different, more immersive experience than what the game offers by default? Look no more, because this mod is tailored for you. SUMMARY OF FEATURES: Organized all pickups.meta files and documented the main. The goal of this mod is to bring about more action oriented events and eventually callouts that are more in the spirit of Grand Theft Auto. This initial release features 5 calls: Active Shooter Ambulance Hijacking - Chase down a hijacked ambulance.

Gta 5 Immersion Mods 2

Gta 5 Immersion Mods Mod

Gta 5 Immersion Mods Free

Cars are basically the core and soul of GTA V.

Grand Theft Auto V ditched this top-tier wanted level, but this mod puts it back in place. Get five-star notoriety and you’ll be pursued by the nation’s finest. Get five-star notoriety and you.

But now it's time to get serious, and talk about the mods which take elevate GTA V to a new level of immersion and realism. Sure, there's plenty of fun to be had in firing vehicles from a cannon.

But there just seems to be something missing whenever you look at the car roster that the game has to offer. There are some fantastic cars in the game, no doubt about it. But some of the world’s best and most famous car models can make a massive difference when cruising in the streets of San Andreas.

I’ve compiled a list of mods that fully changes the way you’ll see cars in Grand Theft Auto V.

Most of these mods are cars that you can add to the game, but I’ve also threw in a few mods that change certain car mechanics and visuals to make driving more realistic.

Download one, two, or all – it’s up to you how much you wanna ball out!

30. Real Wheels Pack

This fantastic mod adds plenty of new wheels to the game, mainly using the assets of the Forza Horizon games.

It introduces plenty of new rims as well as aesthetical modifications to some of the vanilla wheels in GTA.

The mod also introduces custom tires and even real-life brands to the game, which fits in perfectly with basically everything else listed below.

Combine this mod with any of the cars here and you’ll have quite a customizable selection of rides to pick from in your GTA playthrough.

29. Porsche Gauges

As its name suggests, the Porsche Gauges mod simply changes the way gauges look in the game to make them look like they belong on a sports car.

And let’s be honest, in a game like GTA we all want that look.

This is a fantastic mod if you want to get some fancy sportsy whips in your game. And even more so if you’re a fan of Porsche rides.

It’s a very simple mod, but just the thought of having these gauges makes it earn a spot on my list.

28. 2016 Honda NSX

Honda has some beautiful sports cars on the market. And the NSX 2016 has managed to make its way to the GTA universe with this fully customizable mod.

You can take this baby to any garage that you want and have it recolored to your taste. And those of you who like to play in first person will also be able to enjoy the interior of the car, which is also custom made and dope as hell.

This is the same model used in Forza Horizon 3 which is why it looks so great.

You’ll find that many of the car mods in this list are conversions from Forza games, as they fit perfectly into GTA5.

27. Maserati Ghibli S

The Ghibli S is the first Maserati in my list(yes, there will be more than one).

And even though the modder hasn’t managed to make it fully breakable, the beauty of the car and the perfection added to the model makes it a quality addition.

The Ghibli S with custom interior shows the manual transmission stick, and truly makes you feel like a millionaire while you drive.

The windows of the car are fully breakable, though. And even though the paintjob damage is not as good as it is in other mods, it’s still a brilliant car worth testing out.

26. Hummer H1

Take a trip down memory lane with the Hummer H1 in GTA V.

Remember a few years ago when everyone wanted one of these bad boys?

Well I might be a few years too late with this one, but this H1 mod will allow you to ride this beastly truck in ways you’ve always dreamed of!

The interior is fully customized and I absolutely love the way the engine looks. I’m sure you’ll love it as well if you’re a Hummer fan.

Overall it’s a very well-made car that it fits right into the GTA universe.

25. Mercedes Benz CLS 6.3

A fully customizable Mercedes Benz in GTA is the stuff dreams are made of.

This might not be one of the fanciest sports cars on the list.

But this car can be tuned to your taste at any auto shop in the game.

The Benz drives as you’d expect and with no bugs thanks to the constant work and updates from the mod creator.

The CLS is a beautiful car and you’ll be able to see its interior in excruciating virtual detail.

24. 1967 Chevrolet Camaro

No GTA V car mod list can be complete without including one or two classics.

And the ‘67 Camaro mod is surely one that should be in a spot here.

This traditional car looks absolutely beautiful in GTA V given its history in America. And I have to say, it does seem like the type of car that Franklin would love to drive. He looks pretty slick in the driver’s seat.

A Camaro never really gets old. And with this mod it’s finally time for you to give it a try!

I know you’ll love it once you hear that engine purr. It’s hard not to love this thing with how detailed this mod is.

23. 2013 Lamborghini Veneno

If you’re into these types of sports cars then you definitely need to give the Veneno a try.

What a fantastic model from any Lambo(and there are plenty!)

Not to mention how well it was implemented into GTA.

All of the car doors (including the trunk) work just like they do in the real-life model, which makes the immersion of the Veneno far greater than what you get in other cars.

The reflections of the car are truly realistic as well. The creator did an amazing job with this mod and it’s worth a gander even if you test it and uninstall afterwards.

22. 1967 Shelby Mustang

Fans of old cars rejoice.

The classic Mustang makes its way to GTA in one of the best car mods ever created.

The maker of the mod has made sure to fully map the interior or this Mustang and make it look as close to reality as possible.

Many similar colors have been used to create the most natural feeling for the car from all angles. And the ride itself feels much like any other car in GTA.

This bad boy allows you to install plenty of car parts on it as well – including some that are often seen in traditional cars such as hydraulics and even audio systems.

21. Ferrari 458 Italia

I could never finish this list without a Ferrari.

And the 458 Italia is by far one of the best models from this manufacturer.

It resembles some of the vanilla sports cars, but this one just looks fantastic. The interior is identical to the one of the real car and you can see the Ferrari logo in the center of the steering wheel.

The car looks and handles like a custom ride since the design was fully imported from Forza.

Gta 5 Immersion Mods 2

The creator of the mod did a lot of work with the retextures, though. And it shows in the way the car looks – both on the inside as well as the outside.

20. 2017 Rolls Royce Dawn

Even though there’s already one car in the game that looks like a Rolls Royce, there’s nothing better than seeing the actual brand in the game.

Sometimes we get picky, you know?

This fantastic car mod is fully customizable and comes with a 3D engine which breathes life into this classic ride.

The different paint jobs that you can do also make it quite interesting to customize, including one of the pre-designed paint jobs which gives off a wooden feeling like no other car in the game.

19. Mercedes Benz G65

I know that many of you are here mainly because of the sports cars. I’m kinda here for that too.

But let’s face it: plenty of us love Mercedes.

The G65 allows you to have an in-depth experience thanks to the realism of the collisions of its parts, and the way the car interacts with mud(very well mapped).

It might not be the car to take you from 0 to 220 mph in 10 seconds. But it’s still a beautiful car that seems to fit Michael more than any other character.

18. Range Rover Evoque

These SUVs are fantastic, and people from all over the world who can afford them seem to be getting them now more than ever.

The popularity of these SUVs is helped by the fact that they’re developed by Land Rover, and the quality of the vehicle and the beauty of its design are undeniable.

As such, adding it to GTA V seems like a no-brainer. And this mod practically requires no brains to get it installed, too!

This mod adds the Range Rover Evoque to the game with a fully custom interior, and fully HD interactions between the glass windows and the lighting outside.

17. Mercedes-Benz AMG GT R 2017

This two-seater is one of the latest beauties created by Mercedes.

And if you’re still playing GTA V you’ll absolutely want to see how it looks in your game.

The vehicle is textured using HQ images which makes it look insanely realistic in every part of the game.

This is one of those cars that you’ll want to have a custom lighting mod to try out, as it makes the ride look even better the way it reflects its surroundings.

16. 2017 Nissan GTR

Now here’s another one of the car mods on this list that was originally converted from Forza, which means you can expect a high-quality interior as well as fine textures all around.

The creator of the mod has made sure to make the Nissan 2017 fully capable to be tuned, as well as compatible with first-person driving thanks to the details on the wheel and the inside of the car.

Worth trying if you’re a GTR fan but totally one you could skip as well. But it’s also a more “conservative choice” for rides, which I think deserves a higher spot. We don’t all want Ferraris!

15. 2015 Koenigsegg Agera

This fantastic model is made to have some of the most realistic collisions that any car of this list is able to present.

Sure, Koenigsegg might not be as popular as Ferrari or Porsche. But this luxury sports car is by far one of the most beautiful designs that made their way to GTA(with modding, of course).

There’s been a lot of care placed into the development of this mod. You can see this in how you drive with your hands on the wheel, and everything seems to be well-made to scale.

Scale is often the most difficult part of modding any car for a game, so the creator of this mod hit the nail on its head with this one.

14. Porsche Cayman GT4 2016

A Porsche with dirt effects, breakable glass, a high-quality model, and a custom interior that allows you to play in first person?

Sign me up.

The Cayman GT4 2016 brings the traditional Porsche look to the universe of GTA V with a fantastic car mod that uses HD textures.

The scale of the car is perfect, and the mod has been updated to work with the latest GTA patch too!

13. 1970 Dodge Challenger RT 440

Being the highest-rated classic model in my list, the 1970 Dodge Challenger meets expectations with a fantastic car design.

This really does take you back to the good old days of the 70s.

The model passed the test of time and remains a fantastic vehicle to be used in today’s modern world, as well as one that looks good in the hands of a tough guy like Trevor.

12. 2015 Porsche 918 Spyder

The exterior of this car is just beautiful, but the interior is just so well done that you’ll struggle to find another car with one as fantastic as the 918 Spyder.

Some modders really take a step beyond to make sure that their creations are superior to the rest.

And the 918 is close to making one of the top 10 spots on my list because of this exact reason.

11. 2015 Lamborghini Aventador LP700-4

Worry not friend: there are still a couple of Lamborghinis left.

And the 2015 Aventador could never be missing from this collection.

The car is completely destroyable for those of you that need that car damage to feel realistic in GTA. And the model of the car itself is of a fantastic quality.

Lambos are particularly difficult to map, but they’ve done a fantastic job with the Aventador on this mod.

10. 2015 Ford Mustang GT

What, you thought I wasn’t going to mention a Mustang GT on this list?

Being one of those cars that everyone seems to have wanted at some point in their lives, the Mustang GT comes to GTA and you can try out how it feels to drive it in the virtual world Rockstar has created for us.

This is another one of those cars with a fantastic interior too, so first-person players rejoice!

9. 2015 BMW i8

Probably not as aerodynamic as the rest of the cars listed here, the 2015 BMW i8 brings something unique and modern to the table.

Gta 5 Immersion Mods Mod

This car is not as destroyable as I’d like them to be, but the design is fantastic and seems to fit right into the taste of most GTA fans. The textures are extra HD as well so that’s a nice touch.

Gta 5 Immersion Mods Free

But if you’re looking for an even cooler BMW then check the next mod link.

8. 2015 BMW F82 M4

Custom spoilers, tires, and add-ons.

The BMW F82 seems to have it all in the world of car mods in GTA.

It’s a fantastic model with HD textures, which can look even better if you download one of the GTA graphic enhancement mods that we’ve covered.

I may never get a BMW in the real world but I can still ball out with this GTA alternative.

7. Bugatti Veyron

The Adder is clearly a copy of the Bugatti Veyron in GTA V. But if you’re tired of seeing it instead of the original car in the game then give this mod a try.

The Bugatti Veyron mod is fully customizable and allows you to incorporate one of the world’s most expensive cars into the game: fully functional, crushable, and destroyable!

6. 2013 Lamborghini Aventador

Another one of the Aventador models makes far up in this list, this time with the 2013 version of the car.

The rear window of the car can be lifted and the vehicle itself is fully tunable, as the modders have made sure to add many custom parts in the game to be compatible with the Aventador.

If you’re a fan of Lambos then give this one a try. It’s sure to please!

I also love the details of this car, too. It comes with an interior like the ones you see in modern racing games, which does make everything feel right in place if you like to do your GTA first person style.

5. 2014 McLaren P1

Much like the Adder is clearly the Bugatti Veyron, the T20 is basically a version of a McLaren sports car in GTA V.

Progen, the manufacturer of these cars in the game, is basically McLaren in the world of GTA.

However if you wish to try out a real McLaren in the game, then the 2014 P1 might be the first mod you’ll want to download.

It allows you to put carbon and chrome textures on it, and the engine of the vehicle is fantastically detailed to boot.

It’s an overall amazing car with an amazing modder and I fully recommend it to any McLaren lover reading this.

4. 2015 Ferrari LaFerrari

As far as single-car mods go, this 2015 Ferrari is the highest rated in our list.

This fantastic adaptation of the classic Ferrari look fits right into the game, and does a much better job at fulfilling the needs of many players who just want a clear sports car feeling.

The flaps on this ride are fully functional, the car is fantastically well mapped, and the details that it has make the immersion great. This is true of both first person and third person alike so it’s really just a brilliant car to add into your next playthrough.

3. Vanillaworks Extended Pack

Sure, it’s nice to have a ton of real vehicles added to the game.

But not everyone likes to break the vanilla feel of GTA vehicles or to push the lore too far.

In fact, to many players the brands of the GTA universe are part of what makes the experience such a unique one.

But the variety of models still leaves a lot to be desired – even with the many vehicles that come in the vanilla game. Hence this fantastic add-on to GTA 5.

The Vanillaworks mod adds countless new vehicles to the game, all of which are “manufactured” by the same companies that appear in GTA V.

It adds dozens of new cars to the game while keeping in line with the story too. This provides some much-needed variety that is sure to make even the oldest veteran GTA player feel like the game is brand new again.

2. GTA IV Vehicles in GTA V

Are you missing those classic rides from GTA IV and wondering why no one seems to have imported them to San Andreas?

Well, this mod basically does that. For free, I might add!

Imagine that a shipping container with the best GTA IV rides came to San Andreas and the cars from the previous game started being sold around the city. Then you can jack ‘em and ride them around yourself.

With this mod installed you’ll be able to drive some of your favorite classic GTA IV rides in the newest installment of the game.

1. Realistic Driving Mod

Now this mod was in development for over three years, and the quality definitely shows in the final product.

Realistic Driving is a rework of every single part of the driving mechanics in the game.

It makes cars move far better, handling is easier, and every car also feels unique. The creator of the mod really made sure to spend time developing driving mechanics for each car individually.

Now you can probably see why this took years to finish.

Even the roads and surfaces where you can drive all feel more realistic.

Basically if you want to completely overhaul the driving experience in GTA 5, you’ll want this mod in your stack.

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