#i can give you more angst if you want
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 1 year ago
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Master manipulator vs Master manipulator
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maya-caffrey · 1 month ago
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can we bring back procedurals? or at least just proper shows like how TV used to be? 5 to 15 seasons, a generous amount of episodes per season, 45 minutes: the sweet spot between too long and too short, pilot episodes that are wildly different from the rest of the show, filler episodes that overall contribute nothing but are extremely fun because that is what god intended, random musical episode, crossovers, waiting an entire week in anticipation to see what happens next, like, this was the PEAK of television, where did we go wrong
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starswritewhispers · 5 months ago
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pick your poison
Chuuya had always found that chasing the sting of betrayal with the burn of anger was far smoother than the jagged edges of heartbreak.  With anger, its aftertaste had the spice of a lie that would weigh down his tongue and dull his senses, but after enough shots, he could forget the bitter taste of betrayal that lingered behind the burn. Heartbreak would refuse to leave his mouth for days, he’d cough and watch his own blood splatter on his fist from the shards still lodged stubbornly within his throat.   The aftertaste of rust would linger on his tongue for months to follow, forcing him to swallow every new sentence with the hint of neveragainneveragain souring every word.  
Anger was better. Anger was easier. When his family the Sheep betrayed him, he downed the anger quicker than the heartbreak could register. It turned on him, the way it almost always did.  He wouldn’t have had a knife lodged in his gut, rat poison sinking into his bloodstream, if he had been better. The Flags always argued with him on that. He still whispers ‘i told you so’ when he drops flowers off at Albatross’s grave. He can’t look at any of their headstones, but he requested Mori to bury him next to his fallen friends when he inevitably goes. Dazai had complained, whining and throwing a tantrum.  The same shit it always was with him, loud cries of but you’re my dog, as if his friends hadn’t just died because of Chuuya’s lack of fucking humanity. It’d be easier to deal with if Dazai really was throwing a tantrum just to be immature.  He clocked it for what it was, the second Dazai’s jaw clenched when he overheard Chuuya’s request, he was trying to goad Chuuya, to annoy him, but it wasn’t out of spite–for once. No, Dazai was trying to hand Chuuya a bottle of his favorite prescription and be the punching bag for the anger that would follow. Chuuya would often find himself sipping a glass of wine and wishing he could find it within himself to hate Dazai.
Dazai, who orchestrated the first betrayal, who had figured out the core of who Chuuya was so perfectly that he knew he’d rather sacrifice his soul than betray the group that had just betrayed him. Dazai, who was the reason Chuuya was in the Port Mafia in the first place, Dazai, the only person in Chuuya’s life that he couldn’t get rid of, whether he wanted him around or not. 
It only started to scare him when he realized the idea of a life with Dazai constantly around the corner wasn’t so terrifying anymore. 
He noticed when the little light in Dazai’s eyes would flicker out completely and they’d go to the arcade, or the grunts he hung around would take him drinking.  When one of them was revealed to be a traitor, Chuuya couldn’t bring himself to talk to Dazai. He knew he should’ve, but the old taste of heartbreak had morphed into a bitter form of cruel satisfaction, rising up into his throat as though it was bile from a hellish hangover. 
How’d it feel to be the one manipulated into losing something you loved?
When the other one had passed, Chuuya did reach out. He ignored the bloody taste of heartbreak and the easy offer of anger in his hands and instead tried to contact Dazai. Grief had held hands with him his whole life and as much as his partner annoyed him, he knew first hand how guilt would follow. Dazai didn’t respond to any of them. After five hours, his calls and messages stopped going through. His worry tasted like soured wine, left in the barrel for eons too long. His mind conjured up countless scenarios of Dazai finally finding a successful suicide route, and whatever rest he had planned to achieve that night was quickly lost in his own mind.
When the news finally broke that Dazai had turned traitor, the chaser of anger hit his throat before the sting of betrayal could even touch it.  His anger stayed outwards, a rare occurrence, but one that he appreciated nonetheless. It tasted like fire on his tongue, sent a warmth running through his veins, and a constant awareness humming in his bones. Anger was always easier.  
By the time Tachihara had messaged him that Dazai was captured with a following ‘don’t do anything stupid’ plea attached, he couldn’t remember what the rust of heartbreak tasted like or how the tang of sourness from worry would crease the lines of his face.  
The only taste that remained was the steady spark of anger on his tongue. He supposed it made sense, in a cruel, twisted way.
It was, after all, the only thing that stayed.
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gd-dollopole · 2 months ago
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I can’t stop thinking about a poisoned Arthur, who’s not sick with just any poison. Maybe he’s hit by someone with magic and he has no collateral effects, except that of his body slowly dying.
It doesn’t matter if takes years or months or weeks or days, Arthur knows that one day, he will die. He does not get weaker or unable to do things, he just dissipates, and he knows the moment when he’ll be forever gone.
Everybody knows.
Although, there is a cure to his poisoned body, the only one, but Arthur refuses to take it.
Because if he cures himself of the deadly poison, the price to pay is too high:
he will forever forget the person he loves the most, and will never be able to love them again. His memory will be wiped out each time it comes back.
And Arthur doesn’t want to forget Merlin.
Arthur would rather die in the knowledge that he loves him and has known him, than live a life without Merlin by his side, and without his love and care.
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hellonerf · 3 months ago
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unusual face post where i don't bring up caname marriage. all of their gangstalia childhood photos have been shown! i've been very captivated by their answers
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the question is virtually the same for each of them with different wordings. here lord and owner have a goal for their future. between a distinguished admirable grown up and a welcoming hotel runner. meanwhile hero and parrain's answer are like. so vague. [(i?) can be anything] and [(be?) me] makes me laugh. what are these kids even saying? such blatant different personality dynamics. i actually don't have any coherent words i just point at a difference and go wowwww coool(keys jingling in front of me). but really. how sweet!!! the different similar answers
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just-a-itty-bitty-kitty · 4 months ago
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opportunist when I catch you opportunist
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dayurno · 5 months ago
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cavan got an ask about it so i am thinking of it but it is truly really funny when raven neil aus have ichirou or kengo or even tetsuji for that matter weirdly fixated on neil even if it's in a bad way (re: going out of their way to abuse him). the powerful men with a bloody empire that cannot even acknowledge their own blood family in riko would not spare a single thought for some no name wesninski downgrade in the perfect court i fear.............. as far as they are concerned pc members are literal dirt under their shoes. just a deeply unserious way to create angst for a character that does not need it
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thisisnotkitty · 1 year ago
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ENOUGH WITH THE SECURITYWAITER ANGST reblog with your answers
which one hogs the blanket? which side of the bed to they each sleep on? which one gets cold easily and which one holds their hands to warm them up? which one of them is a swimmer and which one can barely float? who proposes to who?
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mahi-does-some-art · 4 months ago
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Tsubaki: I'll keep all my emotions in here, then one day I'll die.
Someone: arnt you immortal tho?
Tsubaki: yep!
(also for extra awkwardness on Tsubaki's end add Kuro Sakuya and Mahiru already being in their relationship and maybe Tsubaki also gaining a small crush on Mahiru lol)
Im a person who sometimes cannot decide on a fixed pairing for the life of them so I very often write/think about poly relationships for the characters-- I want the answer to this to be poly SO BAD
Whats even better tho is if Tsubaki and the rest of team M had their own thing going on in a way that he's not sure they actually love him like that or not or if theyre all just casual or if maybe they're all just doing it bc he's their Prime and feel like they have to (We all know he's not the most stable about emotions) so Tsubaki's just. So Out Of Sorts now.
He loves his select elite members of his subclass. Truly and with his whole heart-- But now he's in love with his eldest "brother" and they've been spending more time together.
Which makes everything so much worse.
And one of his elites (that he loves) is dating the eve of that "brother"! And because he and Kuro have been spending more time together that means he's been spending more time with Mahiru too and he's been catering more of his meals to his taste and has been striking up a lot of conversation with him...and smiling at him... and it's making him feel...
Warm. And very very confused.
Bonus points if all of Team M think they're all dating and Tsubaki is the only one who doesn't know LMAO. Sakuya very embarrassingly rounded them up and told them that he wants to (also) date Mahiru and pretty much asked if he could bc see: They're all poly. If he just went and dated Mahiru without consulting them it'd be cheating. And they all, including Tsubaki, gave him enthusiastic support so it was a yes so he did it.
Team M thinks they're all dating.
EVERYONE ELSE thinks Team M is all dating.
Except for Tsubaki. Because he's very new to unconditional love and has really bad self-esteem issues.
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clegfly · 4 months ago
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My Roman Empire is the fact that the beldam canonically had a mother who she is implied to have killed (and confirmed to have buried alive)
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miraluking-respectfully · 1 year ago
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felix being referred to more or less exclusively as "your soldier" in-game speaks to how little the writers put into his character beyond his noggin full of sith secrets & his relationship with the consular; still, i do find it kind of sweet and funny, in a way. he's not a republic soldier, not even your personal bodyguard; he's your soldier. the consular is a small nation-state in and of herself
#accurate.#felix iresso#swtor#jedi consular#open tags for My Rant:#going back through rishi and doing the cute little holocron quest got me brooding - as i often do - on my best boy felix#that the writers could not think to give him anything in KOTXX that wasn't Torture Angst is deeply shitty but a little understandable.#all the other consular comps kind of have a way forward that isn't consular-related when the consular goes away#nadia has the jedi. zenith has balmorra. tharan has his old illustrious career. qyzen has little baby clan and also his religious directive#meanwhile felix isn't involved with your order or a supergenius or a politician or even someone with a lifelong goal#he was a guy doing his best at a dead-end job that turned into a far more enjoyable but still lowkey dead-end job#i would argue they could (should) have sent him to ossus but i can see them balking because Doc was already there#that's a little narratively redundant especially bc Doc has an extremely useful set of non-martial skills you would want to center#when telling a story about survival and persistence against the odds like with ossus#(also he was in the group of companions second-closest in proximity to the emperor in base game)#HOWEVER.#because i am immensely sexy and cool and have a huge brain i think i've cracked it#the way to give felix a compelling story post-consular is to put him the fuck in charge.#no longer your soldier or anyone's. his own. maybe even in charge of a large group of people in need of someone to follow#considering he used to be really good at that#a group like...idk...maybe the rest of the people incarcerated on his prison colony?#much to think about.
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sysig · 8 months ago
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I hope you blink before I do (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#DAX#Blood#Fuck you *reinjects romance into your song about love-lost*#It's the ''I want to be the one to lay you to rest'' of it all#Or if not that then at least to be the last one suffering#See him off - make sure he goes knowing that he's not alone#I'm Fine just Don't Look at me and I'll Be Fine#Schrödinger's Fine lol - I am simultaneously Fine and Not Fine until I am observed#I simply subsist largely off of angst and then whatever small scrap of comfort that can be coaxed from there hehe#I am very mean to them considering how much I want them to be happy lol#Honestly I think what would be meaner is seeing ZEX off and then somehow DAX survives alone#Night ends just as he's about to blink out and oops you're still stuck here sorry about that <3#But I wouldn't do that to them would I?#:3c#I also think it's interesting that I started doodling this before I actually read ZEX's death - I finished it after but still!#Does he just give off gutted vibes? Canonically he's eviscerated so#And not just in the eye way - in this case it's enucleation#Did you come here for eye removal surgery puns? I don't see why you'd expect anything different *b'dm tss*#I've done way more research on eye removal than I ever expected to but now those two terms will be forever seared into my mind haha#Hhh ZEX's death was very affecting to me ;; I'll talk about it more with its accompanying doodle but really 💔#I wanted an honourable death for him - and if not that then a death where he wasn't alone - and if not that then to rest#He got one of the three ;;
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b00m-b0mb · 4 months ago
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Something really funny that's occurred to me is the way Joe talks about Maccie is like she's some catastrophic event that happened to their family "I can't believe she's been here that long." / "Everything's been different since she was born" / "Everything changed." / "She changed everything."
And it's just rlly funny to me. I want to up the dramaticness of his words at some point. And anyway, he's talking to the Samurai/Ronin for the first time and I'm wondering the impression he's getting lmao
Joe is certainly expressive to me, but only when he's given the chance. And I think w Ronin, he just started letting a lot of stuff out bc thus guy is gonna go on his way anyways.. but then he's like wait!!! Actually let me go?? For a little? (Platonic yearning so bad)
Ronin like 》^. "I suppose.. Alright, curious karate man, I'll accompany you a little longer."
Or something I'm messing around UGH
#the reason everything changed is bc joes mother passed away either shortly after Maccies birth or during#that started the strain w joe and sr but they also had.. her yk? its just sillay#dysfunctional karate family ily <3#sr isnt a terrible father he is just narrow sighted and firmly believes he knows best. he doesnt give his kids the room to grow- but he#really loves them. he just wants to protect them in a way i think.. he just lost his wife and i think that made his parenting way more#overbearing. buT ALSO. JOE JUST BEEFS W MACCIE BC YK SJXNXNX theyre siblings#espexially when they were younger. teen joe is sooo funny to me. teen angst ft this baby i dont want in my room KGLZLGKXMVKKC#in current theyre much much closer and Joe has remained Maccie's favorite person. but Joe still gets really annoyed / tired of her sometime#SRRY ugh ily karate family#also also ronin and maccie dynamic so real. i like ronin being patient with children. except maccie is wayyyy more antagonizing to him than#like my oc the lost girl. so fun!!!! sorry#karate maccie#rh head canon#< new tag#karate joe#sr isnt a bad dad on purpose agenda. sr could have the possibility to apologize and fix things one day.#maccies only ever known this version of her father and she doesnt have the capaxity to try and forgive him for certain things joe will#maccie is the golden child but she is also the problem child. she uses her favor to her advantage and to rile up her dad sometimes#just bevause she can and she has a little bit of a problem with him sometimes bc.. you know? shes a very ambitious teen and she doesnt wsnt#to be shackled..... and she doesnt like thinking of Joe as that way and UGH#i love them im normal#to elaborate a tiny bit more i hc joe as having chronic fatigue like myself. hes low spoons and he pushes himself despite it.#but his disability holds him back sometimes snd its like.. you know? he doesnt want to be the weak memver of the family so he keeps pushing#but he also cares about karate too. its not something negative to him. and stuff. even if its hard. its avtually good for his body / health#when he doesnt overexert himself anyway
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jilted-love · 10 months ago
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Fuck it. Headcanon that Killua "stole" Gon's nen. Sealed it tight as fuck. Threw it at the bottom of the Dark Continent. Gon should have had it back after Nanika healed him. But Killua thought "nah Gon will probably just sacrifice himself again when he loses his cool" so Killua said fuck it and asked Nanika to put a padlock on Gon so he doesn't fuck up his life again. That's the reason Killua left Gon without worrying what Gon might do again. Gotta separate Nanika and Gon so Gon may never figure out why he's back to "ordinary" and will never find a way to get his nen back unless he finds another creature like Nanika which Killua is fairly sure is next to impossible. Gon is gonna be so angry when he finds out.
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midnightwind · 1 month ago
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I love Dragon Age companion quests, but sometimes I wish we had more that didn't culminate in fighting a Big Personal Bad, you know
#I think I'm like maybe a third or close to halfway? through DAV right now#and I started doing the thought exercise of “what would your Rook's companion quests be”#and realizing that all the DAV companions have like A Person or Entity they're trying to confront and fight#I think Taash and Emmrich are the only ones who don't and I am Fascinated with their internal struggles#and maybe that changes in the next leg of personal quests idk#but I wish we got more of that stuff in general#just people dealing with how messy life is and how hard it is to find your place#anyways my Rook Mairenn would have quests where you collect something before sitting down at like#the edge of rooftops or the canals in Treviso and she'd start sharing what her life was like before the Crows#like first quest would be her scouring the markets for a proper Dalish trinket#popping down on a roof looking over the sea and going like “I hate my family you know- the one that forced me out”#all the “just a kid angst” you can have before she just Chucks the item as hard as she can into the water#and quest two would happen after your first big decision#where she'd have you trail along the rooftops collecting crow feathers and flowers from trelisses#before setting them afloat with a candle on the canals#“for the ones who don't get to see the sunrise tomorrow”#before you get her lamenting how she doesn't know if her old clan survived everything#how she doesn’t want to go back to them- will /never/ go back to them but how she can't help but worry and wonder#how she's from the Dalish but never felt like she was Dalish#that the Crows are her family- her real family- and it feels like a betrayal to still wonder of those who came before#before capping it off with like “but my clan kicked me out and I got picked up by slavers for it so fuck them right?”#trying to laugh it off before pushing you to get back to the Lighthouse#maybe a little more on how Scared she was for Treviso- for her 'maybe older brother maybe adoptive father' Viago not being there at the end#(I haven't fully clocked the vibes there but the letter you start with from him gives older brother vibes lmao)#I dunno what the next quest or culmination of this is yet but it's been fun to think about
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indelicateink · 2 years ago
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this 10yo 100K-note post articulates more clearly than I ever could why i love the idea of lestat being 34 and not 21.
guy doesn't get to go on his big hero's journey for another 13 years. whether he's stuck in Auvergne or doing the starving artist thing in Paris (I like to think the former; how relatable), I want to know that story
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