#i can barely watch one show these days
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this can’t be the same brain that used to watch 10 kdramas at a time
#i can barely watch one show these days#i get distracted so easily#i’m also so impatient but at the same time can’t keep up lmao#komal talks
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Hello to the Buddyfight fandom it's been a hot minute but god do i miss this show and have been making fanart for it in the background so i thought i'd post to tumblr too ^^
I swear every year I end up coming back to this show and wishing that it kept going, that it got rebooted, that i could just erase my memories of this show and just watch it all over again from the beginning to enjoy everything once again from Tasuku's own sense of justice twisting against him to Gao's suffering of PTSD and how heartfelt it was handled.
There's something very special about this show that I haven't been able to find replicated elsewhere. It has the most perfect world to exist (so much so that i'd love to be isekai'd into it if i could!!!) and while i have my own gripes with it (hi S3+) i honestly sometimes wish i could go back to my high school years of watching this show just to relive it all again :'D
Anyways!!! I hope there's still people out there who enjoy this show even ten years later who'll like seeing new funny artwork for it!
I wanna add too that i'm hoping to create a rewrite of FCBF (ft. seasons 1-3 + Ace) or at least create more artwork for my interpretation of it and its world!
Because, sincerely, this show is one of the few that, for all its flaws, hasn't disappointed me in the years that've followed unlike many other things i've seen and i wanna try to keep the spirit of it alive while I can thanks to that. And if there are any fans still in existence who love it, i wanna provide some food while its once again in my orbit because damn do i adore this show <3 <3 <#
#it's been like a year but im back on my buddyfight kick again#and since im back feeling dejected about OC things again i might try and focus on buddyfight stuff for a bit :Dc#fcbf#future card buddyfight#buddyfight#Deathgaze Death Dragon#Noboru Kodo#Tasuku Ryuenji#Gao Mikado#Drumbunker Dragon#Sawblade Dragon is a funny little critter I made as part of Tasuku's deck in my AU that im writing#and the other two monsters you can just barely see in the last image are Gallows/a Buddy I gifted Sofia#because tbh Sofia really needed a Buddy#specifically a Star Dragon World one#though as of this point in my AU she doesn't have her Star Dragon buddy bc it doesn't “Exist” yet ofc#middlemost image is also an old art thing but a headcanon thing for those mystery kids bc i like them despite not being a fan of-#Sofia/Tasuku all that much (tho had more effort gone into the writing behind them i probably would have liked them tbh lol)#I mean who doesn't like the idea of a guy who was at her side specifically and worked with her to achieve the bad guys goals#ends up watching his precious Buddy be attacked by her which is what snaps him out of his corrupted mental state to finally realize he's in#the wrong#& then when he later meets her as enemies he suffers cognitive dissonance of both loathing and respect towards her which culminates in him-#holding a personal vendetta towards her while also recognizing her efforts as a former ally who helped him during his Disaster days#and so when he gets to the future and has to rely on her help and guidance he has to confront the fact they're two sides of the same coin#& that she's neither an ally nor enemy but a mirror to himself of what he could've been if he'd decided to take action outside of the law#i mean#there was a LOOOOOOT of missed potential between Tasuku & Sofia if the show really wanted to go down the route of implying they end up a-#couple in canon (ESPECIALLY compared to Tasuku/Gao where it's clear Tasuku cares deeply about Gao and doesn't give a damn about Sofia)#and idk i felt we were robbed of a lot of things that could have given chemistry between Sofia and Tasuku
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i think more fans need to revisit their source material sometimes. just. remind yourself of the actual character your talking about.
#can anyone hear me#im gonna tag a few fandoms im in who i think sometimes need this#warrior cats#ESPECIALLY wc#avatar the last airbender#not as egregiously but sometimes#the magnus archives#id say creepypasta but honestly theres barely a concrete canon to begin with#ya'll get a pass#phineas and ferb#specifically certain heinz fans. yall have forgotten who he is#and people who claim the boys are manipulating candace#like go watch the show again please#anyway its midnight and im frustrated#its a 'can only find bad takes online no matter how hard i look' day#...do i dare tag b-tman#cuz. some of ya'll.#honestly most of these are about woobifying characters but the b-tman one is about grimdarking them too hard#like obviously everyone has their own opinion and i dont want anyone harrassed for drawing their blorbos#but some of ya'll have blorboified them so much those arent blorbos those are ocs#like you do you and all but my god#the takes ive been seeing recently
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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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Have you seen The Amazing Digital Circus yet?
If so, what's your opinion on it?
I LOVE TADC! It’s my favorite indie show at the moment! There’s just so much I like about it but my main ones are
1. The setting and execution being unique. A horror-like project taking place in an late 90s/early 2000s digital game is not a new idea and same goes with characters being stuck in a purgatory however it’s how the artists reinvent those idea that makes it new. The digital Circus made its own aesthetic that makes it stand out from other projects with similar concepts and designs. When I first watched the pilot, one of many things that stuck out to me was how new the story ideas felt. I couldn’t think of any other pieces of media similar to TADC beside for surface-level comparisons. The TADC created its own aesthetic and knows what it wants to be and I like it!
2. Soundtrack. Speaks for itself, the soundtrack for the pilot is so good especially Your New Home. That song is very catchy and emotional too. It has such a unique melody, everytime you hear the first few notes you instantly recognize it. It does a great job highlighting the dread and existentialism crisis of Pomni’s situation. I recommend to give it a listen if you haven’t.
3. The characters dynamics. I just love how the characters interact with each other. The majority of the jokes comes from characters’ interactions and dynamics and how well everyone plays off of each other. The best example is Jax with everyone, Jax is a funny jerk who likes bullying his peers. It’s funny to see what creative ways Jax will bully the other people whether it’s being sarcastic and making quips at them, or though goofy pranks and how the characters react because of their contrast in personality. Every character beside Jax is openly stressed or worried in someway while Jax, at first seem like a chill layback dude.
4. The characters differences. I adored the differences between each character from how they talk to their poses. After watching HH and HB, I learned to have an appreciation for character differences. It’s just refreshing to see characters allowed to be different instead of the same tired reused tropes and repeating the same type of dialogue again for every character.
5. Mystery and lore. There is so much to explore in the pilot, it’s make you wanting more. When going in to watch the pilot, I made the mistake of thinking the series will be predictable. I didn’t see how they could make this premise work because by the end of it, Pomni will go insane but then I watched the pilot and was speechless. The pilot does a good job setting up questions for the audience to ask. If Caine lied about the exit, what are other things did he lied about? How long has the cast been stuck in the circus? Who are these people? Are they previous game developers? Who were they in their previous lives? What is the company’s motivation to create the headset? What are the abstractions in game? Are they viruses to the game program? Who were the former cast? What horrors has Kinger seen to be as paranoid and easily frighten as he is now? Do the abstractions still have a consciousness? You just want to find out more about the lore to solve the many mysteries in the show. I find it impressive Gooseworx was able to stir up the theorists because they have admitted in an ask, there are already theories floating around that are almost right about the show.
One problem I did have for the pilot were the scenes containing the Gloink Queen. The pacing of the pilot was fine until we got to her then it was slow. I feel it dragged longer than it needed too but beside that, my issues for the pilot ends.
I can’t speak for the fandom on other platforms but the tumblr one is great! Most of the time everyone is being respectful towards each other and I love seeing what creative theories, AU, fanfics, and art the fans created. The only people causing drama are the anti-shippers, and it’s just dumb. All of the cast are adults, if age gaps ships makes people uncomfortable, that’s valid but they shouldn’t make it into other people’s problems. Gooseworx themselves admitted they don’t care for romance and they don’t want fans in the fandom getting harassed over shipping.
Overall despite what issues I had for the pilot and fandom, they’re overshadowed by the positives and I can’t wait to see the full show and the fandom’s growth.
#꧁rambles꧂#➥asks#the amazing digital circus#The TADC is the indie show and fandom I needed#After a year of critiquing Viv and her shows and being a fandom as toxic as HH & HB I just needed a break#I’m still active as you can see but barely posting and critiquing the shows anymore#I do check the critical tags every now and again to catch up and I’m just not interested in consuming any Viv’s content anymore#The last Ep I saw from HB was Unhappy Campers and the last video related to HH was the Happy Day in Hell one#I kinda don’t see the point of being very active on my HH amounts when I’m no longer watching Viv and I think everything to Viv is regressi#Viv is getting more careless about how she presents herself online and people are starting to noticed how much of an ass she really is#responding on a funny shitpost of “If the TADC was written by Viv” lightly making fun of her and she blew up once again#I’ve seen creators with a decent size following in other platform not just Twitter called her out and Viv and the fandom is be the-#reasons why Hazbin will fail#Her fandoms are notorious for being toxic/ fans going out of their way to attack not just haters but anyone who doesn’t praise Viv 24/7#Viv is actively creating toxic environment in her fanbases so she can protect herself from criticism and allegations behind her fans#But because of this Viv is contributing to the future downfall of Hazbin because no one wants to be associated with her because of her fanb#There’s just no reason to stay around#If the reaction to the Prime’s video Happy Day in Hell from outsiders is mixed then the reaction will be too for the full release#Plus the general attitude towards Viv has changed over the last three years#Despite her previous controversies she was see as a respectful creator but now views are mixed#People see her as the indie creator whose show took a nose drive in season 2/doesn’t pay her employees/is immature/and is now seen in a-#more negative light
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ignore this.
learning to shut up when i dont have anything new to say to the discussions my mutuals are having about the treatment of the female characters in this show and fandom
even though ive just gone ahead and rambled in the tags a bunch of bullshit
#lohst.txt#they're all so right#because this fandom has had problems since the beginning#its always about the boys#the fics and the art and everything#and the fact that a large portion of this fandom is obsessed with the squip. the ACTUAL villain. yet would wish a 16 year old girl death#yeah. chloe did some fucked up things. yeah. dywh is an awful situation that was not handled well#(because this show has awful writing. you guys have been saying that already and youre right)#but come on. y'all act like the other characters did nothing wrong#if the writers would have cared to put actual depth into these characters#i havent listened to the source material in. a while. and i never got around to watching any other boot other than two rivers#i dont know what im saying#it was so easy to join bmc rp servers because no one ever picked the girls#did that mean i was left out of the rps? mostly. yeah#i mean. those servers always had the same rich and jake so we'd team up#but the jeremy and michael would barely give room for anyone else to interact with them#i used to have some discussions with someone about the flaws of this show and how the girls are constantly ignored#(back when i had sort of dipped out of the fandom)#anyway im never one to get involved in discourse directly#i support my mutuals and reblog art and post my silly little fics#mostly because im always too tired to put a lot of thought into any in depth analysis#(even though i have alot of thoughts on chloe and fairytales. which has nothing to do with this whatsoever)#everyone else has said it so much better than what i can currently come up with rn#but the way that the girls get watered down to one personality trait (this includes madeline). and are always used as background characters#the way there was so much christine hate at one point because she got inn the way of boyf riends#i looked chloe up on pinterest the other day out of curiosity#and there was so much hate#everyone likes christine and brooke#theyre the nice girls#the ones that get watered down to innocent and naïve and the mum friend of the group
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I'm trying to watch Alone Australia rn and girl. Girl i Cannot
Like idk, maybe i was expecting too much but for people to be freaked about the sound of the trees on day one. Day. One. GIRL. You are meant to be living on country alone for MONTHS, and you're acting like you've never even been camping in your own back yard. Girl i can't
#Sigh#Alone australia#Like i like alone and it can get a lil melodramatic#But this is ridiculous#Day ONE ffs#And like. It's tasmania. Along tidal zones in a wooded cold climate. It won't ve easy but if you have half an idea you will be fine#You are guaranteed to find water and shelter and food#Personally I'd rather see how they'd handle being stuck out in the desert instead#But i guess they'd have to quit when they can't find water on day two and the whole show would last two episodes#I could barely watch the first episode#Just you watch I'll sign up for next season and won't shit my pants over the freaking trees in the wind
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youtube
this is not the exact one I watched but I saw one of these "dish scape" things at someone's house who actually has TV (like they pay for dish/cable instead of just watching stuff online) and I think they're meant to be relaxing atmospheric stuff that you mostly ignore, but I sat there for 35 minutes watching absolutely engrossed.. further proof that I genuinely think my brain is incapable of experiencing boredom lol..
#IT'S BECAUSE there's so many little details that like you can spend minutes just scanning every corner of the image and taking it all in and#you keep finding new things! like 'oh I didn't know that blade of grass moved!' or 'I didnt see that bucket before!'. And then on top of#so many details - some things genuinely do change. The one I saw was a Beach house scene and sometimes a bird would fly by or ONE TIME kite#came out of nowhere. a sandcastle built and unbuilt itself. there's a firepit and it comes on when the sky changes from day to afternoon!!#this is like watching a sports game to me. I need weird detail oriented friends who will sit for 20 minutes staring at a barely moving pict#ure & cheer and clap with me when a seagull flies across the screen ghgj.. THERE HE IS!!!! etc!! and there's just so much to think about!!#Like how the images are layered or animated and the choices that were made (like I think the sunrise and sunset sky background images for t#e beachouse are just the same picture flipped and recolored) and trying to predict what's going to happen next (will the lights in the hous#turn off for night time? will another bird show up??) etc! I even got up at one point to walk close to the screen and get a better view of#hese paintings that were visible through the beachhouse windows. and then thinking about building a similar home in the sims! OR ALSO THIS#WOULD BE SUCH A COOL medium I think to tell a story! Like you upload a video to youtube that is framed just as a completely average moving#screensaver ambiance type of thing. It's like 7 hours long and mostly loops the same still image. However. over time at certain points you#can see some thing happen like watching characters interact through the windows. animals or people walk across the screen. certain elements#in the environment morph or change. etc. In such a way that an entire like plot is conveyed. maybe like fantasy mystery sort of thing. I WI#SH I could do this style of art / had friends who could or had money to pay somebody to. I would LOVE to collaborate on a weird surreal#It's Just Your Average Slowly Looping Moving Screensaver Video I Promise' type story.. jjhhgHH.. Or even just making one of these set in so#me of my fantasy world environments. not as a secret thing with easter eggs that tell a story but just literally an image like this tha#moves over time and etc. HHRRGRGHhhhhGG.. ANYWay!! I had to actually turn it off not because I was bored but because it was distracting me#. which is funny since again. I think for most people it's meant to be a 'just leave it on in the background' type of thing that's bland an#neutral . But it was just making me think too much ghjgh.. This is why I can't go to amusement parks or nightclubs bars or concerts like..#a moving screensaver image is too overstimulating to my brain. Could you imagine me going to an environment just full of sensory informatio#like loud noises poeple talking flashing lights etc. etc. ? hghghb... Visiting a grocery store at a slightly busy hour is like my upper lim#it... Anyway.. everything is just so interesting to me. Even if I was locked in a room alone I would have plenty to think about & amu#se myself. I am also a hater definitely like I'm a very analytical person who is critical of society and systems & everything that exists#and even generally am just very opionated and have distinct preferences - so just because everything is INTERESTING does not mean I LIKE or#enjoy everything or never get tired of/annoyed by situations or ideas or etc. But it's more just like.. I literally dont think I could ever#be bored because of the way my brain works and also I approach life with elements of childlike whimsy and constant obsessive curiosity and#attention to detail. so as much as I am an analytical bore I also love everything and the world is fascinating at all times. lol.. duality#of man. if you get it then you get it. ANYWAY.. wanted to ramble abt it. I don't like the above video as much as the one I actually saw but#I couldn't find the beach one online.. BUt.. aaHH! best viewed whilst talking to yourself narrating/cheering! ALSO I want to make one!!!
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Me, who literally just sweeps for a living: ah nice the weekend I can rest and hopefully engage in some hobbies
Mom, who spends all day almost every day at home just sitting on her phone: could you sweep the apartment?
#like#yeah sweeping used to bw my favorite chore#back when I was the one staying at home and mom was the one paying the bills#and I hadn't spent Months sweeping for several hours every weekday#im literallt struggling with my JOB cause ive started Hating sweeping#im reaching sweep burnout#on top of it making my chronic pain worse#she'll do like the bare minimum while me and my bro are working and then give us a list of chores to do on our days off#we're paying the bills we're paying for food we're paying for anything she buys herself on a fucking whim#i literally spent five hundred dollars on Her trip to a music festival last month#im SLEEPING IN A CLOSET so she can have a bedroom#LITERALLY#im so tired and im wearing thin#i havent written or seriously drawn in ages#i haven't watched my shows or read new books#i just wake up and try desperately to have enough energy to go to work and then i come home and lose myself for the rest of the day#weekends are torn between resting to have more energy next week so hopefully itll be better or using the time to do the rhings i love
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#dont want to make an actual post about this but im annoyed by something#fics that involve finch like. some portray his injuries are way more accurate but some are super super inaccurate#like its obvious the most pain the writer ever had was a lil back pain#as someone who has a similar injury as finch does (ironically happened years after i watched the show. its so weird to watch now)#like. its not like a twinge in your back situation#even on a good day if i do the wrong thing it feels like my bones are going to come out of my skin#the feeling of something being Deeply Wrong#the entire reason i workout so much is so i can gain mobility back#if i stop working out the pain gets so bad i can barely walk#at least i dont walk with a limp anymore what the fuck#its just. some fics really dont get it jxbzbxhxhhx#like i get you want to have fun in the fic and not be limited by stuff like that#but some things they write are literally impossible#in the one i read finch helped someone off the ground#yeah that’s impossible im sorry hzhzjxhxj h#the amount of hip you need to do something like that#you just can’t#someone mentioned in the tags of a gifset of finch picking up the baby in a scene of the actual show#that he never would have been able to do that. and honestly yeah they’re right. even if he could he would have struggled way more#just. yeah. yeah Jhxhxhxhxhhxhxjuxhxjxh#i’ll still continue that fic as soon as ao3 is secure again but yeah hxhhxhxhxh#my posts#tags
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ohh i do Not like my hair being wet ouhrrr
#just me hi#Ouhrrrrrrrr#It's just a bad sensation but it's hard to describe Why#I like water and I like being in it but I hate it On My Head after I'm out of it. Sigh!#Don't like touching it either. My hair is gross when wet <///3#I just outta the shower so the damp sufferings have commenced lmfshv#//also been thinking about how I say words because I have been TEASED. For saying water funny hfbshc#It really does come out like 'woerder' but in a subtle why lol#n 'shawr' (shower). which I think Must be more common but I think it's fun :3#n milk is pronounced 'mewk' but again; subtly hfhs#Siblings are barely starting to catch on.. quick i need to add more before they find all of them kfhsvdc#those are the most common ones anyway :)#//anyway watched gladiator before the shower it was good 💥#Also watched a movie while doing the inks to my last piece called uhhh sanctified I think ? It's a western n it's on yt for free so#That one was good too i liked the character death by the tree [<- purposefully vague]#I have questions but nobody has answers so I'll spin them to myself kfshvfh#//also thinking abt how i cannot just blast all my affection for someone in a condensed beam straight into their brain :(#Like it's just in my heart. And I'm sposed to hold it there until I figure out how to get it out#Which is okay. Ig that leaves eternity to try to find out how to tell and show#Sigh. yea :)#//also my youngest siblings are learning to skate !!!!!#I'm so prouddddddddddd blooooo [on the ground]#The youngest Finally got the hang of moving around and she's figured out how to turn when she's going a bit quick !!! Hey !!!#i taught the two of them how to do little jumps to avoid cracks in the pavement and Yea#The older one got a hang of moving Real quick!! I'm thinking he might like learning to do jumps at some point so I'll ask our other brother#Abt that :33#He was p good at jumps and tricks :D I remember this one time during open street in Detroit they had these ramps for skateboarders I think#And he was just Flying off of them#It was cool :D#//ANYWHO. I can sincerely talk abt my siblings all day but they would be so mad at me if I bragged abt them so KFVSH
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thinking of revenge sex with ex-boyfriend!toji to get back at your cheating boyfriend.
"so what, you wanna send a video of us fucking to get back at yer shitty boyfriend?"
toji knew it was only a matter of time before you came showing up at his door. you'd never been able to resist him during your relationship, so what makes it any different now that you apparently found some good boy who treats you better? he knows he's ruined you for any other man and the thought makes him so fucking cocky. his dick is replaceable. or so he thought, anyways.
he remembers the day you dumped him. oh, you found someone who's sweet and charming? yeah, right. he could see through the man's facade even with his eyes closed. besides, the man wasn't even half as attractive as he is. toji was offended that you'd downgraded to a cheating asshole like that. he treated— no, treats you better than him.
"nasty fuckin' girl," toji's gravelly voice rasps through hot, heavy pants. you respond with a high-pitched whine, hips pathetically bucking to get any kind of relief from the heated ache between your legs he's adamantly keeping you from getting. he's buried so deep inside you, you swear you can feel him in your stomach.
a rough hand pushes the side of your face into the mattress, one of his thumbs hooking into your mouth. "toji, please—!"
"not you. i'm talking to this greedy girl."
a glob of gooey saliva hits your perky clit before he's rubbing it with his other thumb, pinching it every few seconds to see you squirm and watch your tits bounce in tandem to your body's squirming movement.
everything has your mind cloudy and your eyes unfocused, the only thing you're actually focused solely on is getting him to just pound his fat cock into you. you can barely even register your phone on his bedside table recording the both of you anymore.
"i knew you were obsessed with my dick, but i didn't think you were going to be this pathetic about it." toji snarks with a coarse chuckle, not even bothering to hide the condescending smirk playing on his lips when he watches the arch of your back on the phone screen. he slaps your clit with the pads of his fingers and mannerlessly rolls you onto your stomach, splaying a hand across the span of your abdomen and then lower... lower... lower...
"what the fuck?"
toji's face falls into a disgruntled frown, his hand stopping almost immediately when he sees a message pop up on your screen. one of his hands come up, calloused palm now silencing your needy whimpers.
"why the fuck is shiu asking if you're still coming over?"
#sugu★bear.#toji smut#jjk#jujutsu kaisen x reader smut#toji#jjk smut#jjk x reader smut#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#jjk x reader#toji x you#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#toji x reader#jjk x you#toji fushiguro x reader#fushiguro toji x reader#female reader#tw cheating
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my tags got out of hand
i keep thinking about hobbies and how i often spill over myself to pick up new ones. i have adhd, i end up trying something for like a month and then just getting far enough in it that i move on, satisfied.
and that should be fine; but it's never fine.
i am a pretty decent artist; but i can't just make art for my dnd campaign, i should be selling dnd maps and character designs and scene setting pieces. i can't just make my friends matching earrings, i need to get an etsy and ship them internationally and take bulk orders. i make pretty good props and decorations and use them to throw my friends parties - but i should be running a party planning business and start taking paying clients and networking and putting my skills to actual use.
for some reason, i never figured out the specifics of pottery. it was a fun class and i enjoyed myself - and still, i'm embarrassed, years later, that i put in all that useless effort. everything i make has to be stunning. stellar. i should have applied myself more. maybe i'm too lazy. maybe i'm broken and selfish and needy. actually creative people would have kept going; they would be bettering themselves at every possible opportunity.
we find ourselves in this trap, even accidentally: we need to commodify our time, because it is a commodity. if we spend our efforts and our time not earning, isn't that the same thing as burning free money? and god forbid you ever take up a hobby that ends up being more expensive than you thought. you sit in your car and you look at the receipt and in your head you hear a conversation that isn't even happening - your mom or your friend or your partner all saying oh great. not this shit again. it's always something with you, and it never actually means anything.
i have realized this horrible thing, recently - i'll get excited to start a project, pick up a new hobby. and then i just... stop myself. i start thinking about the amount of time it will take, and how it'll look in my monthly budget. what if i can't even produce a good enough final product. sure, it's exciting to think about how i could make my friend her own custom dice. but i'm just polluting the earth if i don't get it right. better not bother. better not try.
restless, i get caught in the negative space. the feeling that oh god, i want to create. and that horrible sense - yeah, but i don't have the time to just put to waste.
#oh my god i’m not the only person in the whole world who has Struggles and Difficulties#i am in pharmacy school which means i have no money no time etc and so every single thing that would bring an iota of joy or escape#must be cut for time because you haven’t studied for your exam next month so no you cannot start watching that the show.#and because you missed the deadline two weeks ago for that group project that the others did for you there will be no sitting at the piano#also you made a c and not a b on the exam yesterday so maybe instead of ordering takeout like you said you were going to#(because you know that you don’t buy real food on the rare occasion you go to the grocery store)#instead you’re gonna have to pick through your bare cabinets and empty fridge freezer for something. or just not eat#like you sometimes do#this is not a problem bc you’ve saved your money which you can’t afford to waste#that’s what they told you when you started: tell your friends you can’t see them much because a doctoral program is a time commitment#they said: you need to quit your side hustles and get an internship#they said: you need to ask for cleaning supplies for your birthday—and clothes and shoes bc tuition is very expensive#this isn’t some deficiency on your part. everyone else lives in isolation with no hobbies or entertainment too.#the only difference is that THEY spend all that time studying and reviewing and working and preparing—#while YOU are laying in bed all day because the thought of writing that paragraph is nauseating and tomorrows exam is slowly enveloping you#and you can tell because you had to retake those 2 classes and you have to retake another one this summer.#never mind that you still don’t know anything. just keep playing the part. stay afloat until this week’s exam is over#then you can worry about next week’s exams#(you WILL worry about next week’s exams)#learning the ukulele isn’t going to ease your stress it’s just gonna make you feel guilty#what do you mean you already feel guilty because you’ve pulled the ukelele out exactly twice since mom gave it to you for christmas?#that webseries updates 4 times a week. can you honestly tell me that you have 4 hours a week where you don’t feel shame#about not exceeding expectations anymore?#i thought not. close your compute— you didn’t even take it out of your bag.#do you ever take it out of your bag at home?#you don’t.#well i can see why you’re such a fucking failure#it’s 3:27 am but i won’t bother telling you to shower or brush your teeth- i know you don’t do that.#you went to bed three and a half hours ago now it’s time to sleep#maybe we’ll see what tomorrow has for us
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KILLSHOT
sypnosis when fate gives you back your supposedly “dead” foster childhood bestfriend who is now the colonel of one of the most powerful fleets in the world, what else is there to do but fuck him right in the interrogation room?
warnings interrogation, caleb is mean for like 0.24848 seconds cause lbr he is a puppy of a man, drugging, drugged sex, improper use of evol, collaring, mutual pining, biting, marking, betrayal, mindfuck, injuries, mentions of blood, psychological warfare, seduction, fighting, hurt and comfort, angst, potential spoilers for “farspace deprivation” and “farspace bloomfall”, dark themes, hate sex, cervix fucking, fingers in mouth, sucking on gloved fingers, gunplay, degradation, undertones of Dom/sub, oral sex, kink, bratting, disciplining, after effects of interrogations, unprotected sex, ceiling sex, grieving, spoilers for chapter 4, mentions of death, aftercare, cuddling, guilt, repressed emotions, 18+
dawn says caleb girlies RISE UP oh we are eating so good our man is back home and you KNOW i had to write about his hot new glowup in that slutty colonel outfit,...
Yet again, you’re in the thick of trouble.
They said curiosity killed the cat, and this time, you had little doubt of coming out alive. But, it can hardly be classified as your fault.
It was a stupid lead. A blind coordinate Nero sent to you, leading you to stumble right into the heart of a military operation unauthorized. In the world of bureaucracy and red tape, it’s as good as being dead.
Now, you’re being led away, bound and blindfolded with no one to blame but yourself for your shitty luck and foresight.
Whoever is leading you to your certain death stops in his tracks, nudging you into a cool room. You’re made to sit on a hard chair, and within seconds, your wrists are untied only to be bound again to the chair’s arms and something hard and circular is snapped onto your neck.
“Unh—” you gasp when you hear the soft whir of the device starting. A sudden pressure wraps around your body, holding you back from resonating. Without your Evol, you’re defenceless and whoever has captured you knows it.
“Don’t resist.”
A cold voice pierces the silence. You stop squirming and peel your ears.
“W-who’s there?” You curse the stutter in your question, the trembling underlying your show of courage.
A Hunter resists and never gives up intel easily. Evasion Interrogation Class 101. You weren’t going to cave without a fight.
The slow approach of boots on the hard floor thumps like the blood rushing through your ears. You tense, feeling the other person’s presence before you.
Light floods your senses, and your eyes pry open when the blindfold is whipped off your face. You blink, trying to focus on the dark spot standing right in front of you. The furrow of his brow is the first thing you notice, then those piercing violet eyes.
No…
“Hey… Pipsqueak.”
Your blood turns to ice in your veins, fear shooting up your spine.
It can’t be… you struggle to make sense of what you’re seeing, feeling your stomach dropping heavily right into the soles of your Hunter boots. It can’t…
You mourned him. You watched your entire family—your world—go up in flames.
This stranger wearing his face sits down in front of you, legs spreading with ease under the stretch of his starched white pants. He’s in a decorated jacket, one you’ve never seen him wear before. It’s like the memory of all that you once knew of Caleb is corrupted with a dark veneer, giving way to this tainted version sitting before you with barely any emotion in his eyes.
The familiar slope of his features, the same ones you’ve seen throughout the years, changing and growing, as intimate to you as your own breath, is cold and distant.
Warm sunny days, the smell of freshly cut grass, a hand holding yours through the rain…
It disappears in a flash of lightning, the dark clouds rolling behind him like the dread churning right in your gut.
Your voice is soft, fringed with disbelief, as the shock renders you immobile to the chair.
“What?” He quips, and a shadow of his old smile appears. But, where there was once familiarity, now there only exists the ruins of everything you held dear.
“Don’t you recognize me?”
It’s as if he’s goading you.
He picks up an apple from the centerpiece on the table next to the chair he has you strapped in, and holds it in his hand like it would give him all the answers in the world. His pensive gaze, those once wondrous violet eyes catching the last of the sun’s rays as it disappeared over a river, cloud over with an undeniable oppression.
He can’t even look at you properly.
“Did you honestly think I would always be the kind-hearted boy from your childhood?”
Like a horror show unfolding, he lifts his gaze, looking right into your depths, as the snap of the apple's skin gives way to the tension of his jaws. A bit of its juice dribbles onto his lower lip, and you force yourself to tear your eyes away, needing to retain your wits. Caleb sets the fruit down, chewing thoughtfully, before lifting it to your lips.
“Eat,” he murmurs softly, a shadow of his old self on the tired terrain of his face. “You must be starving.”
The sweet boy from your past can’t be coincided with this cold man right in front of you. Where you would’ve leapt at the opportunity to taste any dish from the labor of his kind hands, you fear this forbidden bite would poison you the second his tainted fruit touched your lips.
Turning your head away, you glare at the rain-slicked windows, trying to hide the sting in your eyes.
Caleb, knowing how stubborn you can be, sighs and drops his olive branch offering.
“Fine.” His voice is flat. Unemotional. “Let’s get to the bottom of things, then.”
He stands, and you feel a fissure of fear opening in your chest when he retrieves his baton, removing his military cap and tossing it onto the table.
“Why’re you here?”
You refuse to open your mouth, glaring at him. Caleb shakes his head.
“You always have to make things so hard for me, don’t you, Pipsqueak?” He murmurs and steps closer to you, the fire in his violet gaze crackling. “You’ve always been insufferable since we were kids. Now—” he frowns. “—why are you here? And how did you find this place?”
You find your voice, croaking out, “I didn’t mean to—”
“Didn’t mean to? Are you sure?” He cuts you off coldly. Caleb straightens and adjusts his gloves. There’s a hint of a smile on his face, though it’s corrupted by the detachment oozing from his suddenly frosty demeanour. “You expect me to believe that? That you just stumbled into the scene like a stray kitten?”
When you don’t speak, he sighs, kneeling down to your height. The warmth of his eyes is back and a lump forms in your throat.
“Caleb…” your whisper is soft. Tentative. He senses a chink in your defenses, a drop of blood in the ocean, and the gleam of his teeth reminds you of a shark.
“All you have to do is answer my questions, Pipsqueak,” he murmurs, lifting a hand to stroke your hair. “Can you do that for me? Can you be a good girl?” That same, mischievous smile plays on the corners of his lips, though it sends a chill down your spine, instead. “There’s more than one pair of eyes observing you in this room so I suggest you play nice.”
He pulls back again, depriving you of his warmth. “Now that you understand, we can have a friendly chat, hmm, Pips?” When you refuse to look at him, or give any indication you’re willing to cooperate, he sighs.
Instantly, the sensation of a thousand bricks falling onto your shoulders hits you, and you scream, almost crushed by the pressure. Caleb uses this momentary distraction to kneel down and lock your ankles to the chair’s legs and snap a band around your right wrist, his other hand gently running the ghost of his touch up your ankle. The forcefield of his Evol deters him from ever touching your skin, and if you could look closer, you would’ve seen his throat bobbing from a harsh swallow.
“Do you remember that injured cat you brought back home? Back when we were kids?” He glares up at you. “I got a collar with a bell. That way, it couldn't escape without being noisy,” he gently squeezes your knee. “The same can be said for you—you’re not allowed to leave me again.”
As he speaks, something sharp pokes your neck and you flinch. While your eyes are on him, the room starts to spin, and before you know it, you’re hunched over the chair, gasping and shaking.
“Caleb,” your voice sounds like you’re whispering from under the sea. “W-what’s—?”
“Don’t worry,” his reassurances warble back. “It won’t harm you—images in your brain,” his words flicker through your consciousness and you feel the collar tightening around your throat.
Shit… He had sanctioned a drug to be shot into your system.
Your woozy eyes keep on sliding back to the floor.
Caleb has drugged me.
“Where did you find the coordinates to this place?”
You’re fighting a losing battle trying to keep your composure. Everything feels too loud—too bright. Digging your nails into the chair’s arms, you grit your teeth, fighting back against the wave of vertigo threatening to take you under. You feel like you’re on a rollercoaster, out of breath, the ground dangling far from your feet. Every sharp inhale you take makes you float higher and higher, till you think your brain would burst from the stratosphere of your skull.
Nero… Nero knew this… and he let you walk right into it.
Nero… The sound of Caleb’s voice pierces through your mind like bright light cutting past the fog. That’s good, Pipsqueak. That’s my good girl… Is Nero your colleague?
You think of him, in his horn-rimmed glasses, hunched over his screen.
Good, Caleb’s voice soothes you, a lifeline through this impenetrable fog your mind has settled in. And, why are you here?
The image of his dog tag with the apple charm takes over your mind, and it hits you too late that Caleb can possibly see your thoughts unfold.
What are the possibilities that you can fight this? Your brain races. You feel like an astronaut stranded in space, isolated from gravity and light, as your spacesuit begins to fill up with water, almost drowning you.
A sharp jab to your chest makes your eyes flutter open, and his baton is pointed right at the apple charm hanging around your neck. Something softer, presumably made out of hide, brushes your chin as he studies the charm in between his fingers, his expression unreadable.
“It’ll all be over soon,” he whispers, the switch flipping, “As long as you keep on cooperating.”
You lean into his reassurances, a whimper slipping past your gritted teeth.
“I know, I know,” he soothes, and stands before you, his hands clenched into fists. “But, it’s for your own good. Just a little longer, Pips.”
He asks his final question: “Were you trailed?”
You can’t stop the next thought from forming in your head of your Hunter’s watch. Instantly, the band is ripped from your wrist, and you hear a loud crunch. The air thickens and you close your eyes, trying to find your centre. The world threatens to spin off your axis; G-Force pressure right in your center threatens to tear you apart.
Please… make it stop…
Like a switch has been flipped, the spinning cyclone in your mind stops. The sound of your harsh breathing and the erratic pulse in your ears is the only thing you can hear. Someone kneels right in front of you, and you don’t have the strength to push him away, not when he’s this close.
“Congratulations,” he says softly, stretching his hand like he wants to pat your head, but retracts it at the last minute. “You passed.”
The collar slips off your neck, and you hear it being tossed onto the table. “Come here,” he whispers and unbinds you. Caleb lifts you into his arms, though not even his warmth can comfort you.
Through the fog whirling in your mind, you make a snap decision.
Your hand collides into his cheek, the loud slap ricocheting around the room. He grunts, taken aback, and you use the momentum to swing your legs, wrapping your thighs around his neck so he’s forced to let go of you. Using every iota of balance you can muster, you land on your feet, none too gracefully. His hand wraps around your arm and practically hiss, sinking your teeth into his flesh.
Caleb gasps, and whips his hand back, glaring down at you.
“Hey! It’s me—”
But, you’re not listening. You’re ready to pounce when he grabs your wrist, drawing you closer to him, pressing your cheek to his chest so you can hear the harsh rise and fall of his breathing.
“Pips, it’s me,” he tries earnestly again. “It’s me. I’m back.”
To your horror, you start to cry, fat tears rolling down your cheeks.
You sob and blubber like a child, growing weak in his arms as the hand in his grasp turns into a fist and you smack it weakly against his hard chest.
“How could you?” is the first thing you ask through your sobs. And, the next: “How’re you even alive?”
Caleb looks away, like he might reveal too much if he stares into your eyes. “It’s complicated—”
“Bullshit,” your anger resounds in the room like the crack of a whip. You should’ve bit him harder.
You think you see him flinch. You push away from his arms and he looks down at you, every crevice of his face dripping with desolation. There’s a glimmer of wetness in his eyes, and yet, you can’t trust it.
You can’t trust him.
“Pipsqueak,” he tries again, reminding you of the times when you were both younger, and he had to sweet-talk you out of a bad mood. “I know you must think some chip got put into my brain, or I’m no longer who I used to be. But, I’m still me,” he urges, and lifts your chin to meet his eyes. “I’m still Caleb. I never left.”
You grit your teeth and with a strength neither of you expect you to have, you push him against the table, pressing yourself in between his legs. Caleb grunts, but doesn’t shove you aside. He looks up at you, with those same pitiful, defiant violet eyes that urges you to either kiss him senseless or claw his eyeballs out.
… Wait.
Kiss him senseless?
You shake your head, pushing those thoughts aside. As if he can’t control himself anymore, he runs his knuckles down the back of your thighs, the new (downright useless) mandated Hunters uniform showing off too much bare skin. But, you couldn’t care less about that right now.
Right now, you have a score to settle with your oldest childhood friend.
“You’re still the same, huh?” Your hand presses to his chest, feeling the erratic pulse of his heartbeat under your palm. Even through all the layers he wears, you can still feel the heat of his body seeping past your skin. “You’re still the same Caleb I knew—the same one who walked through that damn door—” you growl, curling your hand into a fist and hitting it right into his sternum, “—and blew up on me?!”
“Pipsqueak—”
“Don’t you dare,” you seethe, baring your teeth. Though the tears continue to fall, your mind is honed in. Focused.
The need to obliterate him, to make him feel a shred of the same pain he had put you through for months, rears its ugly head.
Like he can read your mind—and you honestly think he can—he caresses your face, running his thumb over your jaw. The look on his face is pure regret, mingled with something unfathomable. You scent it in the lingering heat of his breath on your parted lips, or how much closer his face has gotten to yours.
Right here, he’s in the palm of your hands… And yet, why is he still so painfully out of reach?
“I don’t trust you,” the words slip past your numb lips before you can take them back. You grip his face, steadying those violet eyes on your furious ones. “I need to test you… to put you through a trial.”
The look of indignation on his face is delicious, and it whets your appetite for vindication.
“A trial?” He almost sounds insulted. “What have I done wrong?”
Your other hand slowly reaches for the front of his chest, running the tip of your finger down the starch lapels of his jacket. “You were missing. For months,” you grit out the words. “I need to check if you’re still him.”
“Still… me?”
You growl and tighten your grip on his chin.
“What is my favorite food?”
Caleb huffs, as if you had just asked him what color the sky was. “Braised chicken wings,” he murmurs almost sarcastically. “Next.”
You glance at the bite mark on his hand. “What is my favorite way of getting you back?”
He raises a brow. “Biting. I remember how when we were kids, you bit me so hard, the mark took 15 days to disappear.”
You swallow. He’s correct again.
Reluctantly, you loosen your grip on his chin. The position you’re both in hits you—his arm around your waist, his free hand still stroking the back of your thigh. Your one hand tangled in his jacket and the other still on his chin.
Heat floods your cheeks, and you recall him saying that there were more than one pair of eyes watching in this room. But, a part of you—the one who’s been deprived of Caleb for far too long, who had to contend with days of loneliness and missing him, couldn’t care less.
“Pipsqueak,” he murmurs, and his hand moves from your leg to your hair, gently nudging you deeper into the circle of his arms. The smell of him floods your nostrils with nostalgia and a hint of pine, the old Caleb you grew up with solidifying further and further under your touch.
“Caleb…”
Faster than two atoms on the path to collision, his lips are on yours.
Caleb kisses you like you’re the only source of oxygen left in his world. Something crashes onto the floor, and the plate of apples rolls onto the carpet, an orchard of sin scattered in between your legs pressed together. The sweet, tart flavor of the fruit he had just eaten saturates your tastebuds, and you moan when he desperately tangles his tongue with yours.
He lifts you into his arms bridal style, and carries you down a narrow hallway you had never noticed before, the flashing thunder illuminating the gaudy paintings hung on the wall.
He takes you to what looks like a medical room, though no one is in there. Your lips press to his neck, kissing and sucking on his pulse point. He hisses and in a low tone, warns, “Keep that up and you might regret it, Pipsqueak.”
Gently, like you’re precious cargo, he sets you down onto the bed, those violet eyes like a newfound nebula fixed onto you, filled with the brightest stars in the galaxy.
Caleb runs his hand up your thigh, and you flicker your gaze to his gun holster.
In the split second when he’s distracted, you lunge right for it, grabbing the handle.
He yelps, taken aback, but is faster, snapping his hand around your wrists to impede your movements. The gun drops from your grasp like dead weight, along with your hopes of ever escaping. If looks could kill, you would be dead meat from the intensity of his glare.
Caleb exhales, fixing his frigid gaze onto yours.
“Oh,” he chuckles, and you shiver at the dark edge in his tone. “You will pay for that.”
Gravity surrounds you like a weighted blanket, except it pins you to the bed rather than offering any comfort. Your whimper is lost behind the gloved hand that muffles your cries, hissing into your ear to, “Stay still, goddamnit.”
Caleb is breathing hard, a drop of sweat rolling from his temple down his throat. You feel it dripping onto your neck, your wild eyes fix on him.
When he’s sure you won't retaliate again, he stands up from the bed, bearing down on you. Picking up the gun from the floor, he trails it right to your temple. His Evol hasn’t muffled your speech, but you don’t want to say a word to him, preferring to glare.
“I asked you a simple question—”
“And, you know I can’t answer that,” he retaliates, recognizing what you’re trying to do. His brow furrows. “There are things I can’t tell you, Pips. Things you don’t even understand—”
“Then, help me understand!” You’re yelling now, close to tears. “Help me understand why you left… why you left me…” your voice breaks on the last word, and a look of regret shadows his face.
“I never wanted to.” The gun slides from your temple right to your jaw, but you’re not afraid of it. Nothing in the world can keep you from knowing the truth; from uncovering every layer in Caleb’s new facade.
(But, maybe, this dark side of him has always been there, and you were just too blind not to notice).
He takes a shaky breath. “If I had the choice to do it over again, I would’ve never—ever—left you.”
Sincerity bleeds past the shades of night falling outside the window. Silence envelopes the two of you, and the realization dawns when he exhales your name.
“Pipsqueak…”
“Don’t call me that.”
You’re not his Pipsqueak anymore, the same way he is inexplicably not your Caleb anymore.
He gets back down to his knees, right in front of you. The look on his face is nothing short of misery, heavy with a thousand implications he could never divulge.
You’re desperate, hungry for more. To know more, to feel more. To embrace the darkness brewing in you like the undeniable heat that’s simmering between your two bodies.
“Do you hate it?” He asks softly, in a voice frayed with a thousand emotions, and you sense he’s not referring to your old nickname. Do you hate me?
The silent question hangs heavy in the air, and without a second thought, you turn your face and press your lips to the barrel of his gun.
You can point a weapon at me, but you will never shoot, your kisses on the cold metal speak where words fail you. The gun trembles in his grasp, and between your body pinned to the bed from his Evol and a military-grade weapon pointed at you, what you’re doing is completely ballsy. And, insane.
“I know you have secrets,” you murmur as the cold metal tip travels to the nape of your neck. Despite himself and his rigorous self-control, Caleb is still a man.
Still flesh and bone. Love and grief.
“But, we’re a team, remember? You and me. Me and you. We work together, Caleb. Not against each other.”
Your blurry mind tries hard to focus on the task at hand—needing to throw him off guard—but you can’t deny how the heat in his hooded eyes is making you feel.
He inhales sharply at your words, though the rest of his expression remains unreadable. “I told you, what I know is top secret and even you’re not allowed to know it.”
Those violet eyes trail down your susceptible body spread wide open for him on the bed, and you notice a flicker of hunger behind his dark gaze.
You’ve always loved Caleb’s attention: whether he’s complimenting you on scoring a goal, or commending your plane model assembly skills.
Everything you did was, to a degree, for him to see you. To finally accept you wholeheartedly and without restraint.
You were his little tail; the Pipsqueak who followed him around like his shadow.
And even now, when he has a gun right at your throat, all you can think about is how much you want to please him.
Tilting your head back, you moan when the barrel slides down the valley of your breasts. His breathing is growing heavier; the look in his lilac eyes is stormy and dark.
“You… like this?”
He sounds hoarse. In disbelief.
You nod. “I…” you lick your lips. “I love it.”
The cool metal grazes your jaw, and when it taps on your lips, you don’t hesitate to part them. Glancing into those molten, violet eyes, you suck on the hollow tip, aware of his finger on the trigger and the look of undefiled lust on his face.
“God,” he mumbles, hungrily eyeing how deep the barrel is down your throat. “You’re such a good, good little girl…”
He prises the gun from between your teeth, and the strands of saliva connecting your swollen lips to the spit-soaked metal shimmers in the low light.
Caleb tosses the gun onto the table, growling as he crawls on top of you.
The effect of his Evol fades, allowing you to move your feet, but his hands on your knees make sure you can’t pull off anything funny.
“You’re gonna lay back, and you’re going to be good,” he lifts your leg and kisses over your knee. It would be so easy to drive the hard cartilage right into his nose… but, you don’t want his hands to leave your skin. You want to see what he will do next.
The off-duty Hunter uniform you’re wearing rides up your thighs, exposing the plush fat of your thighs. His gloves rasping on your skin drives a shiver up your spine.
It’s like he refuses to engage in skin-to-skin, whether as punishment or a caution.
You whine softly when his bigger body bears down on yours.
“Caleb…”
He grasps your chin, none too gentle as he pulls you closer to him. “Look at you,” he growls, pushing himself closer—the heat of his body melting with yours. “Look at what you do to me.”
It’s hard to even breathe when he’s close enough to devour your face.
His breath grazes your cheek, and you close your eyes. Your oldest childhood friend savors the proximity, taking in a whiff of your clean perfume.
Before your mind can play catchup, your body falls right into the orbit of his desire; lips on his, breaths mingling as one.
“Fuck,” Caleb breathes, a moan pulled from the depths of his chest, tortured and strangled. “You taste so—nhng—”
He gasps when your arms come to loop around his shoulders, dragging him almost between your legs. He steadies himself, gloved palms on the bed. You run your hands over the starch grooves of his jacket, finding the first button.
Caleb lets your touch wander aimlessly, his breath caught in the back of his throat.
“Are you sure?” He whispers, those anguished violet eyes almost gouging into yours with an intensity that leaves you breathless. “Are you sure you want this?”
Are you sure you want me?
As a silent answer, you lean forward, catching his lower lip in between your teeth.
“Ngnhmhm,” he moans, gasping when you bite down hard.
He tastes blood and your desperation, helping you unbutton his coat. The heavy chain slaps against your eager cheek in his rush to slide it off his arms. “Shit—sorry.” Cool fingers brush the afflicted cheek. “You alright, sweetness?”
You nod, huffing and moving your hands to his other lighter jacket, unbuttoning it. He chuckles at your eagerness and helps you with the brass buttons. As the layer disappears, you’re confronted with another shirt.
“How many clothes are you wearing?!” Your cry brings a mischievous grin tugging on the corners of his lips.
“Lots,” he murmurs and takes over with a nimble skill only a man of his caliber can have. The grey shirt melts off his broad shoulders, discarded onto the floor, and finally—fucking finally—he removes the black turtleneck, revealing smooth acres of warmed, tan skin right under your touch.
You exhale shakily, running your fingers down his distinct pectorals, tugging on the dog tag around his neck. Your eyes land on the familiar apple charm.
“How—?”
He thumbs the similar charm hanging from around your neck. For the first time this evening, he voluntarily gives up some information.
“I—uh—had someone copy my old necklace.”
The look of disbelief on your face is enough to deter his next words.
“You decoyed the necklace I gifted you?”
Caleb winces. “C’mon, Pip—I-I mean, love…” he sighs and presses his palm to the back of your head, drawing you closer to peck your pouty lips. “It helped me make sure you were safe. Plus,” he adds, a touch of humor in his tone. “You did tell me you would kick my ass if I ever took it off.”
You struggle to understand the layers behind his words, fighting to form a reply when his lips travel to the juncture of your neck, softly kissing and sucking your sensitive flesh.
Focused on retrieving the truth, you fight hard against his best efforts at derailing you. “You—mhm—were tracking me? All this time?”
Caleb doesn’t pause his sensual assault, groaning softly. “Won’t call it tracking per say…”
You want to get mad. Truly, you do. But, the feeling of his teeth grazing your pulse point melts any coherent thoughts left in your brain.
The confusion you felt before gives way to something deeper. Unrestrained. He kisses you again, and you absorb the feeling of warm skin under your palms, feeling the heat of his body thrumming under your touch. His muscles expand and contract with every shaky breath, his chest pressed so intimately to yours.
You squirm, and he hisses, restraining your hips to the bed.
“Stop that,” he hisses.
Confusion overtakes you, and you want to ask what’s wrong when he winces and shifts his hips further from yours, instinctively setting a physical boundary you want gone immediately.
“Are you scared?” It’s your turn to goad him. If he thinks you’re going to be nothing but docile and wanting, he’s been away for far too long.
His lips twitch. “Of you? Nah. But, of what I can do?” His voice drops an octave, and he leans in, one gloved hand going to your chin, holding it in place. “If anyone should be scared, it’s you.”
Caleb tests the waters of this new dynamic unfolding between you two, dipping his fingers past the gap of your lips. The breach should make you pull away, take a step back to reassess the situation.
But, you’re as much under his spell as you have bewitched him.
The taste of earthy hardness fills your mouth, and you suck on his thumb obediently.
Caleb looks down at you, the heat in his eyes almost touching the boiling point. A few more moments of your teasing, and he would be close to bursting and taking you right on this bed.
Never one to be satisfied with what he is allowed to take, Caleb pushes his luck further, sinking his thumb deeper down the soft gullet of your throat; compressing your gurgled words down to the bottom of your mouth in his journey to devour everything you can give him.
“Oh, fuck.” He groans when you take another finger into your mouth like you were meant for him. “That’s a good girl… my good little girl…”
You moan around his digits stuffed down your throat, peeling your watery eyes to his smirking expression.
“Cat got your tongue, Pipsqueak?” He murmurs, and stretches your jaw with a third finger. You’re so full of the taste of him, you start to choke. “You look so pretty like this—not a thought in your brain, just relying on me to make you full… to make you whole.”
His words send a shiver down your spine. You want to protest, but deep down, it’s true.
The grief that clashes with his year-long absence, this “new” side to him you are starting to unravel… the old Calen, the one you loved and looked up to, is starting to metamorphosize right before your eyes.
“Cwaleb—” you whimper past his fingers.
He’s barely laid a hand on you and you’re already folding.
Pulling his fingers out of your mouth, he discreetly wipes off your spit on the bed sheets, fixing you with an arched brow.
As if asking: Well… your move, Pipsqueak.
Your hands fly to the buckle of his military pants, the sound of his zipper dragging down punctuating the air like a crass remark.
Caleb stiffens when he feels your cool finger dipping past the waistband and he shudders, mind going hazy at a touch he had only dreamed off but never thought would come true. When you reveal him to the cool air, he’s half-flaccid, already at a six inch mast and the prettiest shade of pink you have ever seen with an undertone of mauve.
He’s part of the thicker team, though length-wise, it would make any woman scream and cream. Heavy balls. A slight curve. Growing up pumped full of hormones, you had secretly wondered how your oldest childhood friend’s cock would look like, but you never once anticipated seeing it in real time.
“Holy…” you trail off, and he grins.
“Like what you see?”
You’re spread out for him on the threadbare sheets like a vision from a forbidden oasis. As much as he wants to bury himself in you, Caleb needs to make sure you’re ready first. He licks his lips, whets his appetite, and fills up your empty mouth with his tongue.
“Mhm…” you groan into the depths of his mouth. “Caleb…” You swallow, and deciding to throw him off, you murmur a word he thought would never, ever come out from your mouth:
“Sir,” you whimper. “ Kiss me harder…”
Sparks go off in his mind. He feels like the force of the explosion has finally caught up with him a year later and his breath is knocked out from his lungs.
“What did you say?”
His deep violet eyes devour the look of wanton desire on your face, mind drawing a blank.
Did you just…?
Did he hear it right?
“Again,” he almost stutters, desperately needing to hear that word from your lips. “Say that word again.”
The restraint in your mind is at best a flimsy net letting your inhibitions fly freely. “Sir,” the word drips from your lips like the sultriest confession; the look on his face like that of a holy man scandalized. Except Caleb wasn’t holy—he was hardly a saint. He was the scum of the earth trying to lay his corrupted hands on a being far too precious for him.
Immolating from his own self-hatred, it’s hard for him to fathom that you want this—that you want him.
“Please,” your whisper cuts through the tension of the self-inflicted torment settling onto pensive demeanor. “Please… make love to me, Sir.”
All his years of restraint—of immaculate self-control—snaps like the last leaf off an autumn branch. He rains dizzying kisses down onto the jut of your collarbone, summer rain sweeter than sin on your tongue.
Caleb removes his pants, kicking the heavy material down to the floor as he works his boots off frantically with the toes of each alternating foot.
The feel of his body on yours, almost smothering you to the mattress, drives you wild with a heat stoking right in the heart of your core.
“Sir,” you murmur, almost dizzy with lust.
He pops open the buttons of your dress, slipping it down your shoulders. The swathes of your bare skin presented for him makes him feel like he’s barely lucid, lost in a dream he doesn’t want to wake up from. With one hand, he expertly unhooks your bra and slides it down your body, tossing it onto the floor where it joins his pants.
Caleb is barely restrained when he pushes you back onto the bed, his lips finding refuge in the juncture of your neck and shoulders. He nips, licks and sucks like his life depends on marking you; the sight of his marks on your skin only serves to make his feral need rise higher and higher.
He takes refuge right at your chest, nibbling and nipping the plush fat of your breasts till you’re practically vibrating with excitement, your nipples wet with his spit and aching for more of his touch.
The dark haired man can barely stop himself from what he does next—sliding your dress further down your body till the rise of your lace panties appears in his sights like the sun breaking over the horizon.
He feels the warmth of you on his face, right in his cheeks as your thighs tighten around his head.
“Oh, love,” he groans, like a man starving. “C’mere, Princess—”
He pulls you closer till your pelvis bumps his chin and you squeak, feeling his hot breath graze your bare skin.
“Caleb—”
Your protests die an immature death when he buries his tongue right into your tight cunt. He moans at your taste, the lightning playing with shadows all over your body, illuminating the pulsing beats of darkness hiding behind those violet eyes. His pupils almost swallow those lilac orbs whole, their darkened gaze latched right onto you.
“God,” he mumbles like a man tasting manna for the first time. “... s’sweet… this pussy is so sweet…”
The charming, charismatic and kind Caleb from before would’ve never dared utter such words in front of you. But, his other twin in bed, the one who wears his face complete with a devilish smirk, rolls his tongue over your syrupy folds, moaning at your flavor.
You taste like candied apples, and Caleb thinks he could eat you up whole.
He squeezes more moans past your sweet lips when he draws all your folds into his mouth, spitting it back out only to do it again and again and again.
“You’re so wet,” he slurs, those pretty purple eyes already pussy-drunk. “So fucking wet f’me.”
Your legs spread, wrapping around his shoulders, the taste of your cunt almost coating the back of his throat—Caleb couldn’t be more in love with you.
“Mhm,” he moans, a sight in between your legs, chin slick with your juices, eyes half-closed in pure ecstasy.
“You’re so full for me… dripping down everywhere,” he murmurs, placing a quick kiss onto your twitchy clit. “I could drink you for days.”
Your cries and moans only fuel him to be meaner. Now that he has you in the palm of his hand, he’s not planning to let go of you anytime.
It’s filthy, animalistic, and utterly raw. The emotions he evokes in you quakes through your soul, seeping out of your core only to be consumed by him, your lust growing his lust, his moans inciting your yearning.
Caleb continues his gentle assault on your clit with his tongue, grinning against your cunt.
“Louder… let them hear you.” He slips one leather-clad finger inside your pussy, pressing down on the spongy, soft spot. Those pretty lips wrap around your clit, giving it a gentle suck and you fold.
You keen, tangling your fingers in his hair. It’s one thing to be eaten out this thoroughly, but another to be subjected to such pleasurable torture by a man who has hungered for you for years.
“Good girl,” the bridge of his nose almost rubs your clit raw when he buries his tongue even deeper inside you. “Louder,” he moans past flesh and more pussy juice gushing onto his chin. “Make it messy, baby.”
Caleb… Caleb… your breaths come out in huge gasps, your back arching off the bed.
He makes unravelling you look so easy, and you’d be absolutely pissed off if he wasn’t edging you towards the biggest orgasm of your life.
While you’re in the throes of your pleasure, you feel his gloved hand wrap around your throat, thumb pushing past your flush lips.
“Mhm—” you moan at the flavor of him saturating your tongue. “Oh… Caleb—”
“Yeah,” he growls, chest rumbling. “Say my name, baby. Say it. Scream it.”
“Caleb,” your moans double in volume, the pleasure about to burst from your seams. “Oh, Caleb—!”
Heat, wetness, a deep, stirring pleasure threatening to consume you, and then—
Nothing.
Caleb pulls away, squeezing your thighs. He rips off the gloves, and finally—finally—you feel his skin on yours.
The rasp of his warmth across your thighs drives goosebumps down your arms. “Shit,” you whimper when he pushes your thighs further apart to settle in between them. His body smothers yours, encompassing you in the pure mass that is his weight bearing fully down onto your exposed body.
Bastard. He leaves you hanging, reeling from a ruined orgasm, as you glare at him, your anger and indignation sputtering and dying on your tongue.
“Caleb! You—you—”
He grins, dark and sweaty bangs falling all over face as he drags you closer by the hips.
“Open wide, pretty,” Caleb coaxes, thumbing the head of his pretty cock, smearing precum all over his digit.
Fuck—ah… you groan sinfully. The sight of him pleasuring himself is seared in your brain. You bite your lower lip, shifting your hips. Need drips from your gasping breaths and your head is spinning.
Easy, he murmurs. I gotcha.
Caleb lifts your hips in his large hands, finding the perfect angle before slipping the sticky head between your folds. Your gasp grazes his ears in a warm puff, a telltale sign of your unexpected surprise at how good this feels.
It reminds you of those times when he would tease you as kids—always holding something out of reach and never giving in unless you begged nicely.
And, you sense it’s what he’s doing right now. Mercilessly teasing, testing your patience. Waiting for you to beg.
Caleb grasps the base of his hefty cock and runs it over the mess of your creases, soaked with your excitement for him. He teasingly pushes the plump head past the slutty ring of muscle gaping open for him, and heaves in a deep groan, like that of a beast about to breed his mate. Your eyes are crossed with pleasure, and you’re whimpering sweetly, no thoughts forming in your brain besides more, more, more.
You ache for him, but all you can do is take his teasing. “Please,” you huff, peeling your docile, little lamb eyes onto him, wishing he would relent and just fuck you.
The sheets twist in your fist and your other hand is tangled in his sweat-soaked hair.
Caleb uses one hand to brush his damp bangs off his face, and he grins, intent on making you pliable to his every whim. He presses a kiss to your jugular, biting down on it, relishing in your jolt of pleasure.
You’re so sensitive, even his pelvis grinding down on your clit feels good and you shift your hips higher, desperate for more friction—for more of him.
“Sir,” you sputter, woozy. “Please… please…”
Caleb hums, lifts your thighs over his broad, muscular shoulders. The slight tilt spreads you out for him, a wildflower blooming under his touch. You’ve captivated him with your scent, your skin, your sweet sounds…
But, little does he know, you’re equally enraptured; caught in his trap.
“You’re so pretty,” he murmurs hoarsely. “Pretty when you beg. Pretty when you look at me like you can’t wait a second longer…”
His wet lips swell around your pulse point again, flowering heated kisses onto your sensitive skin.
“Nghh—Caleb,” you whimper and he chuckles—that bastard.
“You ready, sweets?” He teases you, shooting you a smug, stupid smile much to your consternation.
You want to roll your eyes and be crass, asking him to just give up and put it in, but your words get stuck right in your throat when you realize you're already on the verge of losing it altogether.
You take one good look at him, and wet your lips, yielding with a nod.
“Yes, Sir.”
Your obedience is like a hit of ecstasy for him, firing up his veins, and he moans, shifting closer to you. The bulbous tip jostles deep inside you as another inch is added and you writhe, eyes squeezed close in delirium. “Mhnmph!”
Your moans shoot through his veins like licks of a strong, disorientating drug and Caleb groans. His hefty body is already shaking from the strain, and he doesn’t know how long he can last. His thighs shudder, and he has to bite on his lower lip to keep from moaning like a goddamn loser when he finally sinks his dick all the way into the love of his life.
“Mhm—ah!” Your nails dig into his shoulders and he hisses.
He gives you a split second to get used to the sensation, nothing more, nothing less. Obviously, he’s waited for you for his entire life. Etiquette and consideration can come later—all he wants to do right now is fuck the ever loving shit out of you. Caleb sets a pace, one that has you twitching, and he seethes at your lack of resistance.
“You’re—hnng, already so eager,” he snarls. “Been dreaming about this? About my cock?”
The sight of your decoyed necklace slapping against your skin from every thrust drives him dizzy with lust. His name on the dog tag, the apple charm looking so innocent and snug right in the valley of your luscious tits. It doesn’t take much to please a man like him and Caleb is as happy as a dog who got the best bone.
He gnaws on your shoulder, teeth making indents on your precious skin.
Your thighs tighten around his shoulders, body almost folded in half like a pancake.
Caleb… Caleb… you whisper-gasp, the darkness of the room and the subsiding storm outside the windows lending to the dark yet intense atmosphere.
He licks along your bottom lip, sucking on your tongue. You taste so good, Princess…
Your whimpers brush his chin and his hair tickles your sternum as he ducks his head lower, bringing your stiff peaks into his mouth. He nurses and suckles on you, a fiendish look in his eyes.
“Mhmph—you taste like sin,” he groans deeply, the sound travelling all the way down to your core. The forbidden fruit, right here in his arms and like a selfish man, he wants more.
Without warning, gravity disengages around your body and you’re pinned to the ceiling in the blink of an eye.
It feels surreal to look over his shoulder, at the bed hovering above your head, the medicine cabinet and lamp all peering up at you like a twisted version of wonderland.
“Caleb—!”
He silences your protests with a harsh kiss, licking and sucking on your lower lip till you whimper and quiver. Deftly, he guides your hips away from him and lets gravity do the rest. You sink down—full and to the hilt. He’s so deep in you, you swear you can taste him all the way in the back of your throat.
Caleb fucks you this way—mean, demanding—using gravity and his Evol to his advantage.
You writhe and twist in his grasp, head thrown back. The ceiling wall is cold against your back, though he’s warm enough to the touch to make your head spin.
Bodies press intricately, you can’t tell where he begins and where you end. Like two snakes interlocking, you feel Caleb everywhere. His breath on your neck, his hands roaming down your body possessively, the feel of his thick girth hitting every spot just right.
Drool drips down your chin, and you feel him chuckle; the rough rasp of his tongue lapping it up.
Messy girl, he drawls, smacking his lips. A smug grin tugs on his mouth, giving his boyishly handsome face a devilish touch.
Give me more, he urges. More. Make it messy, Princess.
He sucks on your pulse point, your neck the perfect canvas for his marks. Nuzzling you close, you feel the tenderness behind his searing need.
His cock molds into you like a perfect fit. The sound of his hefty balls slapping wetly against your skin fills the room with a salacious symphony.
Caleb, Caleb, Caleb. You can’t control the stream of moans escaping your puffy lips. He kisses you hard again, deepening it and letting his tongue tangle with yours in a passionate dance. Your heart swells with adoration for him; his flavor heavy on your tongue, sousing through your senses like a creeping heat reaching towards its completion.
His touch kindles up more desire as if you’re dry straw waiting to catch fire, and oh—does he let you burn.
Strings of your pussy juice drip past his balls, streaking his thighs like filthy snail trails. The shine of your own arousal dribbles past the pert curve of his fit ass, and ribbons into droplets falling from the ceiling like it’s goopy rain.
Caleb doesn’t care about the mess you’re making. All he wants is to see you unravel.
Your cheeks flushed, eyes crossed—he leans in to kiss you hard, needing to taste your desperation firsthand.
Your hot moans give everything up to him, your body quaking like a tempest ready to unleash hell onto his self-control.
He grunts when you fist his hair, finding your rhythm as you fuck him back, meeting him in the middle. The sway of your hips tells him all he needs to know—his little mei mei isn’t as innocent as he thinks she is.
“—taught you how to fuck like that?” He grunts, lapping at a bead of sweat about to freefall from your chin.
“Huh?” You peel your watery eyes on his, his sticky kiss gracing your cheek.
“Said—who taught my sweet, innocent, little Pipsqueak to fuck like this?”
He punctuates his emphasis with two harsh thrusts, his length jabbing your cervix.
You grunt, eyes rolling back into your head. “N-no one—fuck,” you whine when he slips one big hand between your bodies, rolling his thumb over your lubricious clit.
“A-ah!” your cries rebound across the room as he plays with your fleshy pearl, thumbing circles onto it vigorously, hoping to glean your confession. “Ngh—Caleb!”
Your thighs begin to shake, and his grin turns wolfish. “Won’t let you come ‘less you tell me the truth, Pipsqueak. M’waiting.”
He stamps a possessively hard kiss onto the nape of your neck, like he’s trying to drive the mark of his mouth past your skin.
“I’m telling the truth,” you whimper. “Never had no one—no one but you.”
A deep, guttural groan brushes the soft shell of your ear.
“Swear?” he demands.
“Uh-huh,” you hiccup, all dulcet and demure with the position he has you in. Your lachrymose eyes are fixated on him and only him—Caleb thinks his body might burst from all the blood swelling in his cock and heart.
He huns, and runs his tongue down your clavicle. “Good girl… good little Pips.”
The nickname combined with his derogatory tone inadvertently makes you clench around him tighter, and he hisses.
“You’ll be the death of me, y’know?” His eyes darken and he drives his hips harder as if trying to make a point. “Gonna make sure you never leave my side—we’ll always be together. Forever.”
You whine and dig your nails into his biceps.
“Caleb—” you gasp, almost falling out of his grasp and face down onto a bed 10 feet below you. But, he tightens his grip, and you know he would never let you go.
He shuffles you deeper into the alcove of his body, and you tighten your hold around his neck. “You—mhm—are insane.”
“Yeah?” He grins. “Only for you, Pips.”
Tingles running down your spine, and you feel hot and cold at the same time. He fixes his sights on your glassy gaze, enjoying how wrecked you look under him.
(Well, technically, above him with the power of his Evol, but eh, semantics).
The storm outside is no match for the one raging inside of you, and you cling onto him like a second skin, drunk off the pleasure he’s inducing in you. Kissing his jaw, nipping his lower lip. Caleb grunts when you press your chest to him, the feeling of your pert nipples rubbing against his toned pecs making him feel like this is all a dream—one he doesn’t want to wake up from.
Too soon, his vision to see you come undone flashes as you toss your head back and moan his name.
“Caleb…”
Your whimper is a signal of your impending release, and he grits his teeth, driving his hips further into you, planting his knees on the water-stained ceiling and going ham on your pliant body.
He feels you shuddering around him, dipping his head to feast on the sweat slicking your tits.
He glances up at you, catching your eye the second your release tears through you, his smirk making your heart skip a few beats.
Caleb feels the heat stirring in his own belly. You’re down for the count, holding onto him like a washed up doll whose lax mouth occasionally lets out a few moans and whimpers.
So pliant… so malleable… so easily molded to his whims…
Breaking you clean, he wants to dominate every inch of your body—claim your thoughts as his so that all you think, feel and want is him.
“Ngh,” he groans, burying his face into the crook of his neck as he finally breaks and fat loads of hot cum fill you up.
Caleb holds you closer—securely—as he reels his Evol in, and slowly floats down onto the bed with you in his arms.
With the combination of the serum, your release and this newfound dynamic between you and Caleb, you’re out cold in seconds.
He feels your body going limp, giving way to sleep and presses his nose into your hair. For a few moments, he refuses to let you go, arms protectively wrapped around you.
Then, the peace is shattered by a polite knock on the door.
“... Colonel… we need to evaluate her…”
Shit. He licks his lips and groans softly. You’re so warm, so comfortable in his arms. He can’t let you out his grasp.
But, duty calls and the Farspace Fleet is a minefield of legality. He can’t steal away and run off with their test subject.
Not yet, at least.
As much as he wants to stay like this with you forever, Caleb steels his heart and pulls out of your warm, slurry depths. He dresses you first, and then gets himself presentable.
First Commander Brigette of the medical aide steps in at his signal. Her silver hair is tightened into a bun and mirrors the tight look of dismay on her face.
“Sir, it is imperative—”
“Don’t. Not now,” he mutters tersely and straightens his tie. “Just check if her vitals are alright. And, don’t you dare mention this to anyone else, you hear me? If you do, things’ll get messy for me—the next round of body bags hasn’t been shipped in yet.”
She nods, though she looks like she wants to argue.
The rest of the fleet didn’t yet know of his true relationship with you—to them, you’re just a pretty face their Colonel took a fancy to. And, he wants to keep it that way for as long as he can while he formulates the best plan to get you to safety.
“The sedative we gave her was meant to lower her inhibitions enough to confess,” Brigitte murmurs. “I didn’t think—”
“If she doesn’t wake up, I’m throwing you and your team right into the Deepspace tunnel,” he threatens.
The award-winning scientist flinches, and lowers her gaze. “Colonel Xia, we will recover the antidote for her quickly.”
Caleb exhales, the tension in his broad shoulders lessening slightly. That’s what he likes to hear.
Brigette soon finishes her rounds of physical examinations on you. She bows and exits the medical room, leaving him alone with you again.
Caleb steps forward and gently runs his gloved fingers through your hair. In the silence of the fleet, where mechanical whirs mingle with his steady breathing, he makes you a promise that he will do everything in his power to fulfill.
“I swear I’m getting you out of here in one piece, Pipsqueak.” He leans forward to press a soft kiss to your forehead.
“Swear it on my life.”
He told you before that you would always see him when he came home and this time, he intends to keep his promise till the very end.
a/n: i need this man biblically and carnally,,,, feedbacks and reblogs are very much appreciated <3
© all works belong to lalunanymph. do not copy, repost, claim as your own or feed my content to AI learning tools.
#🦢 writes#caleb xia yizhou#caleb love and deepspace#caleb lads#caleb x mc#caleb x reader#caleb x you#caleb smut#lnds smut#lads smut#love and deepspace fic#love and deepspace
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Yandere Yakuza
When your brother gets himself deep into debt, one yakuza is surprisingly willing to help you get him out. Word Count: 4.3k
When your brother asks you to visit him in Tokyo, something about his voice makes your big sister instincts buzz.
He's great at putting on a show, but there's a twinge of nervousness to him that you've seldom heard before.
You spend your first week in the city with your hackles raised, trying and failing to figure out what he's hiding from you. And you might never have figured it out.
But then he showed up.
Yandere! Yakuza who kicks open your brother's door at three in the morning, a cigarette in one hand and a baseball bat in the other.
You scramble out of bed, convinced you're about to be murdered. And it's only your brother's hand hastily slapped over your mouth that keeps you from screaming bloody murder.
"Relax, I know these guys."
Despite his words, your brother doesn't look relaxed at all. His eyes dart around the room and he balls his fists into his jeans. It's a habit he hasn't broken since childhood and before you know it, you're stepping between him and a dangerously scarred yakuza.
Your Japanese is beyond rudimentary and your course didn't exactly cover how to have conversations with members of an organised crime family, but you tilt your chin back and try to keep your voice steady.
"Naze anata ga koko ni iru no ka? [why are you here?]"
Yandere! Yakuza who shamelessly leers at your tiny summer pyjamas. He pulls at his cigarette and when he speaks, his English is heavy with an accent.
"Came to collect what he owes us."
Of all the possible answers he could have given you, that was one you don't expect in the slightest. You turn to your brother and the way he avoids your eyes is answer enough. God, how could he be so stupid? Didn't you teach him better?
Yandere! Yakuza who came prepared to smash furniture and rough up a stubborn debtor suddenly finds himself at the mercy of your glare. You're at least a foot or two shorter than him and somehow it feels like he's the one being overpowered.
"How much does he owe?"
"Sis really I can-"
Yandere! Yakuza who scoffs and names a number much, much larger than you expected. It takes every ounce of will power not to scream at your brother right then and there. How could he get himself into such a mess? He's barely been here more than six months!
Yandere! Yakuza who watches the emotions flicker across your face and has to admire the way you fight them back. The only sign of your fear is a slight tremble in your hand.
"How much do you need tonight?"
The amount he names is just about everything you have in savings. You bite your lip. One look at him tells you everything you need to know. This isn't some small time crook. The pin on his suit jacket is clear as day, even to a foreigner like you.
You pull your coat over your pyjamas and grab your handbag.
"Let's go then."
When you step out into the hall, you're met with two other Yakuza. How didn't you notice them?
You meet their eyes, trying your absolute hardest to seem unruffled. Predators get violent when they sense fear, right? So don't like them catch that smell on you, no matter how fast your heart is racing.
The night air nips at your skin as you head to the nearest ATM.
"Sis it isn't that bad, I swear -"
"We'll talk about it later, ok?"
Yandere! Yakuza who walks close behind you. You can catch the smell of his cologne - something woody and pleasantly sharp.
When you slip your card into the ATM, he leans against the wall next to you and pulls out another cigarette. He watches you while he lights it, the flame throwing his cheekbones into sharp relief.
"You got a boyfriend?"
You're genuinely surprised. Your relationship status isn't exactly on your list of things dangerous criminals should be concerned about.
"No. I don't."
He let's the smoke curl up between his teeth.
"Good. Pretty girl like you shouldn't bother with relationships."
"Why not?"
The ATM spits out your cash before he can answer.
He doesn't take the money immediately. Instead, he let's his eyes roam down your body, like he can still see what's underneath your bulky coat.
"You're never gonna pay it off at this rate."
"You're offering me advice? Didn't think that was part of your job."
"Sōde wa arimasen [it isn't]. But what kind of man would I be if I didn't help you out?"
He digs in his inner pocket and you catch a glimpse of the gun holstered under his jacket.
He pulls out a business card and scribbles something at the back of it.
"He hasn't told you, but we've got his passport. He can't leave until he's settled what he owes."
You suck in a sharp breath at that. How much worse could this situation get?
He holds out the card. "Come work for us and maybe we can work out a better deal, yeah?"
You scoff. "Does that deal involve selling my organs?"
He smiles a little at that. "Īe - no. It's easy work. Come by tomorrow and see for yourself."
You look down at the card and the hand offering it. His tattoos peak out of his sleeve, blue-black and twisting in patterns you can't recognise. Better to not offend a gangster, right?
You take the card.
"Iiko [good girl]."
He turns to go, his baseball bat slung over his shoulder. "See you tomorrow hanī [honey]."
He's barely out of sight before you're grabbing your brother's ear and dragging him back to the apartment.
You spend the rest of the night talking to - or more accurately, interrogating - your brother.
"Gambling? What the hell where you thinking?"
"I was drunk, okay?"
You hiss and rub at your temples. And the worst part? The yakuza was right. You can't pay it off. Not without a very well paying job.
His card glares at you from the kitchen table. An easy job, huh?
The address on the card leads you to a hostess club in the middle of the Red Light District.
He isn't going to kidnap you in the middle of the day in the middle of the city, right? Slightly comforted, you make your way into the club.
It's cool and dark, lit by colorful lamps more than anything. You show the card to the bartender and a few minutes later your yakuza is sitting across from you and ordering you both drinks.
Yandere! Yakuza who wears a suit in the slouched, lazy way of a school delinquent. Shirt unbuttoned so you can see the edge his tattoos and the gold chain gleaming at his neck.
He gestures at the bar and the room around you, his cigarette hanging lazily between his fingers. "The Family owns this place. And my kyodai manages it."
He studies you while he smokes, eyes dipping to your chest and lingering. "You can work as a hostess here. Make good money and we'll take a cut of it to pay off what your brother owes."
You take a sip of your drink to avoid answering him. The sake leaves a tingle on your lips.
"But I'm not exactly fluent in Japanese. How am I supposed to entertain customers?"
He grins wolfishly at you. "Just wear something tight and you won't have to talk at all."
"Perv," you mutter into your drink.
On the surface, you can't see anything wrong with his offer. It makes perfect sense - the club gets a new girl they barely have to pay and your brother's creditors don't need to keep tracking him down.
But he's a yakuza and you'd be a fool to trust him.
"Fine. I'll work here, try my hardest to learn Japanese and sell drinks."
You hold his gaze. "But I'm gone the second I think you're being shady. Got it?"
Yandere! Yakuza who smiles like he's won the lottery. "Wakatta [got it]."
When you show up later that evening, he's your first customer. He orders you a bottle of champagne and keeps topping up your glass without ever touching his own.
A few drinks in you manage to finally loosen up enough to hold a conversation. He asks you endless questions - about your childhood, your hobbies, the movies you've been watching.
But in return, he dodges any question you throw at him. "Don't ask about my family." "My childhood was boring. You don't want to hear about it." "Hobbies? Does puss-"
"No."
"Then no."
He's surprisingly fun to talk to. And when he gets a call and has to leave you, there's a pang of disappointment that you can't quite mask.
He grins and flicks your forehead. "Don't miss me too much."
When you pick up the bill, you realise he left you a hefty tip. You stare at it and then at his retreating back. Just what is his angle?
Yandere! Yakuza who's back the next day and the one after that. He sprawls in the booth like a spoiled prince, his arms thrown across the headrest and his legs spread.
"Let me teach you Japanese."
You perk up. A native teacher would be so much easier to learn from compared to the dense textbooks you've tried using.
"Repeat after me. Onegaishimasu. It means 'please'."
You try and imitate his intonation. He walks you through a few more common phrases with moderate success.
"Need to work on your accent, but that was decent. Ready to try something longer? Anata wa totemo hansamudesu ne [I think you're very handsome]."
"Anato wa...wa totemo hansam... hansamudesu ne."
He smirks at you over the rim of his glass. He seems immensely pleased.
"What does it mean?"
"Just another way to... greet someone. Kinda tricky though, so you should just use it on me."
He spends the rest of the day explaining kanji and grammar. You take notes on the back of a receipt and promise to rewrite them when you get home.
Your shift is practically over when he finally stands to leave.
"Say goodbye like I taught you."
"Anata wa totemo hansamudesu ne."
He grins at you again, his voice a bit sweeter when he replies. "Anata mo totemo kireidesu ne [you're pretty too]."
You tilt your head, struggling to understand. You don't recognise the phrase, but he's gone before you can ask what it means.
Yandere! Yakuza who requests you almost everyday. Until the house mother snaps at him to give it a rest, there are other clients who want to talk to you.
He scoffs and throws back his drink, Adam's apple bobbing like he's swallowing down his anger too.
"If they want to talk to her so bad, they should get here earlier. Watashitachiha kono basho o shoyū shite imasu [we own this place]. So go and get me my girl."
When you finally make it to his table, he's back to being all smiles. The only person who notices his jealousy is the house mother and she's far too busy to mention it.
"My head is killing me. Give me a massage please?"
He flops down into your lap before you can say no.
You sigh and run your fingers through his hair, trying to remember where the pressure points are.
Yandere! Yakuza who practically purrs at your touch. When you lift a hand away to take a sip of your water, he barely waits for you to swallow before he's dragging it back.
There's something very strange about having a deadly gangster in your lap. With his eyes closed, you can almost forget just how much he scared you when you first met. Can forget how he still scares you.
He opens his eyes and catches you studying him. He reaches up and catches your hand as you draw away from him. His touch is gentle, softer than you would expect from looking at him.
"Go on a date with me."
You aren't sure if it's an offer or a command. There's something so intimate about the way he looks at you, the club lights carving hollows into his cheeks, eyes dark and sweet.
And God help you, he's so close. Only the thin fabric of your stockings between his skin and yours.
"Okay."
His lips quirk into a half smile, boyishly handsome.
"Good. You'll like it."
By the next evening, you're already regretting your decision. What kind of idiot goes on a date with a yakuza? You blame the alcohol and the closeness of his body and your stupid, stupid hormones for getting you into this.
But when he picks you up, you find yourself smiling. He actually knocks on the apartment door this time and you open it with the full intention of teasing him.
"My brother's landlord-"
Your words die in your throat. You always knew he was handsome but the man waiting for you takes your breath away.
His hair is slicked away from his face and a sparkling cross dangles from one ear. His lazy suits are gone, replaced with a suit that's pressed and tailored. Hell, even his shirt is buttoned up properly.
He looks good. Dangerously good.
He takes you in, eyes lingering at your curves. You swallow and try not to blush. You do your hair and makeup everyday for the club and he's seen you in this dress before, but he looks at you like it's all new to him, like he wants to drink in every inch of you.
You somehow manage to find your voice and it has none of its usual bite. "You look good. Really good."
He smoothes a hand over his hair self consciously. "Arigatō. Shall we go?"
He offers you his arm and you take it, your heart thundering. He opens the car door for you and helps you in like a proper gentleman. You catch a whiff of his cologne - the same woodsy scent from the night you met.
He takes you to a skyscraper restaurant and sits down right next to the window. The city is a sparkling sprawl at your feet.
"I didn't think you'd be into a place like this," you say.
"What? You think I don't got class?" He grins and points his fork at you, "I've got the best damn taste in this whole city."
"Explains why you asked me out then."
"Obviously." He leans forward. "Only the best for my girl, yeah?"
"I'm your girl? Since when?"
"Since..." He makes a show of checking his watch. "Since the night I met you. You just didn't know it yet."
Ah, now that's one way to make a girl fall for you. And despite your better sense, you feel yourself falling.
You can still taste the lingering sweetness of dessert when he walks you back to his car. His leans against the car door and loops his arms around your waist.
"You had fun tonight?"
"Yes. More than I expected honestly."
He pulls you closer to him, softly enough that you can step back at any point. You don't.
"Gonna give me a kiss to say thank you? It's a very important part of our culture."
You clasp your hands together behind his neck.
"You liar."
He grins that boyish half smile of his. "Can't blame a guy for trying."
He doesn't feel like a gangster or a creditor or a customer. In that moment he feels like just a man - someone strong and handsome that you desperately want to kiss.
Your gaze flickers down to his lips and then back to his eyes. You pull gently at his neck and his head dips lower. You stay like that for a moment, lips almost touching. Too nervous to make the final move.
His hands move to cradle your waist and he closes the gap between you.
You pull him closer, your hands slipping from his neck to his jaw. His stubble scrapes your palm and makes your whole body tingle. He tastes of wine and sugar.
When you finally pull away, you draw your thumb across his lower lip. His eyes are half lidded and when he moves, it's with a sluggish reluctance. Like he doesn't want to let go of you.
He keeps one hand on your waist and draws out a stack of cash with the other. When he speaks, his voice is husky.
"How much for tonight?"
"What?"
His draws his hand up your waist to rest against your sternum. Like he wants to dig his hand into your heart.
"How much to take you home?"
A bucket of cold water would have been less shocking. You pull away from him, your mind racing.
God, why are you such an idiot? Of course he only wants to fuck you. He's just a thug, what did you expect?
And worse, you feel like a small part of your heart is breaking. Why be so sweet to you, why go out of his way to spend time with you, if all he wants is a one night stand?
"Are you serious?"
"Obviously. How much do you charge?"
You act without thinking and slap him right across his face.
The sound of it is terribly sharp in the open quite of the parking lot. It leaves your palm stinging. You freeze, terrified of what you've just done.
He doesn't move, his head turned to the side from the force of your slap. Slowly, he touches his fingers to his cheek. His expression is unreadable.
Oh, you're so dead. You just hit a yakuza. A guy who probably breaks faces everyday, who has who knows how many felonies to his name.
Your first instinct is to apologise, say you weren't thinking and that you're so so sorry. You lift your chin and squash down that part of you.
"I'm not for sale."
The quiet stretches out, tense and dangerous. He turns away and opens the car door for you. He doesn't meet your eyes.
"I understand now. Gomen'nasai [I'm sorry]."
The drive home is terribly quiet. You keep expecting him to lash out - hit you or humiliate you for daring to slap him like that.
He doesn't. He just keeps eyes on the road.
When you reach your building, he follows you to the door and rests his hand on the frame above your head. You can feel him behind you, close enough for his breath to tickle the back of your neck.
"I can't buy you."
"No."
"But I want you."
You pull in a shuddering breath. "Earn it."
You shut the door without turning back.
He doesn't show up at the club for the next week. At first you're on edge - what if he gets you fired? Or worse, does something to your brother?
But your boss doesn't mention anything and your brother keeps coming home in one piece. Slowly, you relax. Tell yourself that he's done with you now that you won't give him what he wants. You try and ignore the way it hurts.
When he does finally show up, he's dangerously tipsy. He yanks you out of your booth in the middle of a date and leaves the house mother to bow and apologise to the customer.
You try not to make a scene as he pulls you along behind him. But you look about desperately for any of the other yakuza. Where the hell are they when you need them?
Finally, he drops you in a booth in the corner of the club and collapses across from you. His hair is messier than you've ever seen it and there's a feverish wildness in the way he looks at you.
"Fine. I'm here. Let me earn your love."
You rub your arm and scowl at him. "Your idea of winning me over is to leave a huge bruise on my arm?"
He runs his hands through his hair. "Hell, I don't know. I've never had to win a girl over before."
"Yeah right. I've seen the girls you go out with. There's no shortage of women in your life."
He looks you in the eye. "Bought and paid for." He gestures at the table and at you. "Not like this. Not like you."
That gives you pause. It makes sense. Gangsters don't exactly have the time to go on Sunday morning brunch dates or meet the family.
"So why not just pay someone else?"
You don't say it out loud but the rest of your question is clear. Why me?
"I...I don't want to. Setsumei suru no wa totemo muzukashīdesu [It's so hard to explain]. But I don't want anyone else."
A confession from a yakuza was not at all on your list on fun and lighthearted tourist activities. You're not entirely sure how to deal with it.
Your sense is screaming at you to be smart. And when is dating a criminal ever smart? You're supposed to get yourself and your brother away from the underworld, not get roped deeper in. And what happens if you want to break up? When has a man with a gun and too many scars ever taken a heartbreak well?
And yet...
You want him. Stupidly, against all sense, you want to be with him. He's dangerous. He probably only wants to fuck you. He has too much power over your life. He might never let you leave him.
And still you want him.
You take a deep breath. "Come over tonight and I'll cook you something. And if my cooking doesn't change your mind then... then we can talk about it."
He smiles at you and the wild look in his eye seems to finally dim.
"Anata ga watashi o oidasou to shite mo dekinakatta [Baby, you couldn't get rid of me if you tried]."
You weren't lying when you said you were a terrible cook. When he finally arrives, the rice is somehow both burnt and slightly undercooked and your curry is severely under-salted.
You scrunch your nose when you take a bite. "This is awful."
"You cooked it." He takes another bite. "And I hate to say it, but I've had worse."
You push your bowl away and mutter, "I didn't think rice could be so complicated. I followed the instructions and everything."
He takes another bite. "I can make decent rice. And udon."
"So between the two of us, there's only one good cook? Shameful."
He adds some salt to his bowl. "Neither of us ever has the time to cook anyway, so I don't know why you're surprised."
You shake your head and watch him. He's halfway through your abysmal culinary concoction and somehow not green in the face.
"You never talk about yourself," you tell him.
He avoids your eyes. "I'm not that interesting."
"But I am?"
"Yes." There's a quiet fierceness to his answer that makes your heart stutter.
"Tell me a secret about yourself."
It's his turn to study you. "A secret."
"That's what I said."
He considers you for a long moment before reaching up and undoing his shirt buttons. He turns his back to you and let's his shirt fall away.
You gasp. His tattoo covers his entire back. It's every bit as intricate as you suspected - there's lotus flowers between his shoulder blades and a spider inked below his ribcage.
But it's the snake that takes up most of the space. It curls and unwinds across his back, every scale painstakingly inked. It's hissing mouth rests on his shoulder blade, opposite his heart.
He flinches when you touch him, but doesn't ask you to stop. You run your fingertips up his back, tracing the snakes coiling body.
"It's incredible."
He doesn't answer you. Eventually your fingers come to rest on his neck.
He reaches back and takes hold of your wrist. He draws it forward and tilts his head to press a kiss against your pulse. You wonder if he can feel the way your heart jumps when he touches you.
"Do you want to know the real secret? I go home at night and lie awake thinking about you."
You lean forward and rest your forehead against his bare back. "What do you think about?"
He inhales sharply. "Your voice... your lips... your body."
You laugh a little and your warm breath on his skin makes him shiver. "You're shameless."
"Mattaku hajishirazuna [totally shameless]."
You tilt his head towards you and kiss his cheek.
You can feel him smile against your lips. When you pull away, he turns to you and cups your jaw.
Your Japanese has gotten better, but you don't understand what he whispers before he kisses you.
"Watashi Kazu anata ni koiwoshiteiru, soshite watashi wa tomaranai [I'm falling in love with you and I can't stop]."
He presses his lips against yours, so much hungrier this time. His hand slips from your cheek to the nape of your neck to pull you closer to him.
"My girl, my pretty girl. Hanaretakute mo hanare rarenakatta [I couldn't let you go even if I wanted to]."
He presses hot kisses against your throat. His grip on your neck almost painfully tight.
"Hitsuyōniōjite, anata no kyōdai ni wa nan-nen mo shakkin o showa seru koto ni narudeshou [gonna keep your brother in debt for years if I have to]."
The rest of his sentence is little more than a growl. "Nanrakano hōhō de anata ni watashi o aishite morau tsumoridesu [gonna make you love me back one way or another]."
The one downside of courting a yakuza is not understanding everything he says. But maybe it's safer that way.
#yandere#yandere imagines#yandere x reader#yandere drabbles#yandere scenarios#reader insert#x reader#yandere oc#male yandere#yandere oc x you#Yandere yakuza
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𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. dad!toji x wife!reader. fluff, just pure fluff. reader gets called ‘doll’ once.
toji sits on the edge of megumi’s bed, arms casually draped over his knees, watching with an amused grin as you fuss over your son. you’re lecturing him about being more careful when playing with the other kids at daycare, replacing the bandages on his arms that had gotten scuffed from a tumble.
megumi sulks, his little face scrunched up, but he doesn’t dare to say a word. his gaze is cast downward and he knows better than to challenge you when you’re in your ‘mom’ mode.
toji chuckles to himself. the little brat—just like his old man, he thinks. neither of them ever have the guts to talk back when you’re laying down the law.
with a lazy smirk, toji reaches over and ruffles megumi’s hair in an affectionate and teasing way. “it's fine, doll,” he says in attempt to reassure you, “shit happens. ‘n it toughens up the kid.”
you shoot him a look over your shoulder and toji just shrugs. “he’s just like you, ya know,” you mutter as you brush a stray lock of hair from megumi's face. indeed, the little boy resembles his father in looks but also in personality. “stubborn, hard-headed. thinks he can take on the world without a scratch,” you sigh.
on one hand, you’re worried that megumi will get in real trouble one day because of it. but on the other hand, your son got an overprotective man as father. you know he will never let any harm befall either of you.
toji raises an eyebrow at your comment. oh, he knows and he’s proud of it. proud of his son, of the family he's created with you. “i mean—he needs to learn to take a few hits if he's gonna survive this world.”
you scoff before hugging megumi one last time. “mm, mama,” the toddler snuggles up to you, small hands clutching your shirt tightly. you feel the weight of his tiny form press against you while his cheek rests against your chest.
there’s something about the clingy way he holds you that melts something deep inside you. you press a gentle kiss to his messy hair, brushing a hand down his back as you breathe in the sweet, comforting scent of his shampoo.
“good night, sweets,” you murur, your voice barely above a whisper. “i love you.”
megumi’s small fingers tighten once more on your shirt as if reluctant to let go. his breathing is steady and you know he’s almost asleep. but then, your son shifts lightly. he pulls back from the hug enough to look up at toji, who’s leaning back against the headboard of the bed. he doesn't say a word, but there’s a clear look of expectation on his face, as though he's waiting for something only his dad can give.
toji meets his gaze with a blank expression that doesn’t give away a thing. he's clueless for a good couple seconds before picking up on what megumi wants.
your husband murmurs something incoherent before relenting. “yeah yeah, c'mere buddy,” he hums, his tone softening. he can't help it—even if he tries not to show the vulnerability in his demeanour.
“yay,” megumi's face brightens up a little and he eagerly reaches up with those tiny hands. toji pulls the kid into his arms, hugging him tighter than expected. the action is a little awkward, but there's no denying the warmth in it.
your heart melts as you witness the adorable scene before you. your son doesn’t seem to mind the tightness as his small arms encircle his father’s neck. it’s a simple moment between father and son, but it’s enough. enough for both of them.
toji pulls back after a little while. his eyes are softer than usual as he pinches megumi's button nose. “good night, kiddo,” he mutters, the words rough but warm, “don't let the bedbugs bite.”
megumi grins sleepily at him as he rubs his eyes. “i’ll kick their ass, papa,” he declares proudly, looking and acting more like his dad with the second. you roll your eyes and stand up from the bed. toji simply snorts, realising his son has picked up on the phrases he uses.
“tha’s right,” your husband nods after standing next to you, “you tell ‘em bedbugs to eat shi—”
“toji ,” you shush him with a swat to the bicep.
megumi lets out a small giggle in reply before laying back on his pillows. you pull the covers up to his chin and watch as his eyes slowly close, his body beginning to relax. the quiet rhythm of his breathing is the only sign of him settling down for the night.
toji lingers by the door and is simply content to watch you. you're always like this—so nurturing. he follows your every move as you leave a final kiss to your son’s cheek. the warmth that radiates in your presence, your affection, the simple yet tender moments are all things that make him fall in love with you over and over again.
you straighten up and turn towards toji, catching him staring. you can see the warmth in his eyes, the way his shoulders are completely relaxed, how that signature smirk of his seems more like a smile in that moment.
you chuckle to yourself before stepping out into the hallway, leaving the door slightly ajar. toji follows with his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. the silence hangs between you two for a bit. it’s comforting and. . . secure.
“y’know, you’re a real softie, toji,” you comment to break the quiet atmosphere. you tilt your head back to look at the dark-haired man who’s now next to you. you know he still struggles with being vulnerable around your son. the sentimentality is still an aspect he's working on.
however, you see it; the emotional side of him. the warmth in his eyes, in his touch, in his words - even if he’s not all that soft spoken.
you can see right through him.
“don't worry though. your secret's safe with me,” you tease with a soft grin.
toji doesn’t say a word for a few seconds before he chuckles under his breath, “just keep that between us, aye?” he responds to your teasing. he’s just glad that he’s married a woman who understands him and accepts him as is.
you both head to the living room. the weight of your day finally seems to lift. the quiet house and the soft breaths of megumi drifting from his room, feels like the calm after a storm. there are challenges ahead, no doubt, but for now everything is alright.
toji wraps his muscular arm around your shoulders as you both sink into the couch. the television playing something in the background, but neither of you pay it much attention. you lean against him and sigh, eyes closing slowly.
“you think he's gonna… turn out okay?” you ask softly. you’re not really sure how to word your worries. your voice holds an uncertainity that causes toji to hold you tighter.
your husband doesn't answer right away. instead, he glances down at you and strokes your hair with his free hand. he nods and presses a chaste kiss to your forehead.
toji leans his head back afterwards, closing his own eyes. no matter what the future holds, he's sure megumi will grow up to be a strong young man.
“yeah. that kid’s gonna be alright.”
#sttoru writes.#jjk x reader#toji x reader#jjk fluff#jjk x you#jjk x y/n#jjk fanfic#toji x you#toji fluff#toji fanfic#toji fushiguro x reader
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