#the feeling of something being Deeply Wrong

[shikaizer]

HOW YOUR FIRST TIME / SEX WITH WBB PLAYERS STARTED

Finally added jana on my HC omg my pussy is shaking

PAIGE BUECKERS

you moaned thru the kiss, paige was grasping on your ass. it was all overwhelming and exciting, hooking up with a stranger was not on you list. the two of you had been stealing glances throughout the party, the stares that had deep lust in it.

paige not able to resist anymore made a very short conversation with you and followed up with her saying "wanna fuck?" and thats how you ended up here.

she bit your neck leaving dark bruises on your skin, when shes about to reach your cunt you leaned back making her look at you.

"whats wrong?" paige asked stopping all her movements. "can you be gentle? its my first time." you confessed looking up at her, paige stayed silent for a second then she let out a amused smirk.

"your a virgin? and its all mine? fuck, let me take you to my place first baby."

CAITLIN CLARK

"what the fuck was that?" caitlin slammed the door shut walking over to you, as stressed as you look, caitlin decided to make it more worse.

"leave me alone caitlin." you muttured not having any energy, you felt weak since all eyes were on you earlier and you just did something stupid that also getting caught in trouble.

"i was kicked out the game because of you." she growled and you sighed. "i know im aware." you muttured not raising your voice.

she stepped closer eyes shooting daggers on you. "what? are you gonna punch me?" you asked looking over at her. she clicked her tounge scanning your face, and suddenly, she slammed her lips on yours, roughly.

she pulled away grabbing on your hair. "you need to show me your sorry." her voice was firm and serious.

JUJU WATKINS

This past few days, you haven't been getting any sleep, it was the end of your s.y and you thought you'll be having rest today, guess not.

juju has been taking very diferrent girls everyday in her dorm, basically fucking them senselessly, you kinda got used to the routine but it was tiring.

you opened this to her and she said she'll make it up to you, she did. but she needs to be in it.she suggested that the both of you watch some movie in her bed, but you just took it as a way of her apologizing.

right now the both of you are laying down besides each other, your back was pressed againsts juju's chest while you focused on the TV, so focused that you didn't feel juju's hand trailing on your thigh, getting higher.

when you noticed, your kinda shocked, but you ignored it, but now your waiting for what shes going to do next, but what she did is, she started kissing your neck. "i want you."

JANA EL ALFY

You caught jana staring at you again with those lost eyes, everytime you looked over at her, she was already staring at you, it wasn't even an issue but the way she was staring at you tells something.

not until staring was not the only one that is being shared. both of you are currently locked in a room at a party. you dont know how to two of you got here, kk asking for favor to get her tru fru upstairs, and jana was in this room, turns out they set the two of you up because honestly they have seen the way both of you look at each other.

"shit sorry— it wont budge." jana states looking over at you, and quickly looking away when your already staring. "those bitches." you muttured under your breath annoyed. "im gonna kill them i swear." you sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at the window, jana slowly looked over at you again and her eyes sticked to your exposed thighs your panty showing thru the short skirt. she sighed and sat down next to you.

jana took this chance to stare at you and scan your face "your so beatiful you know?" she muttured and you smiled cheeks heating up, the both of you looked at each other for a brief moment before jana took the courage to kiss you deeply, pinning you down on the bed.

AZZI FUDD

You and azzi have been following a firm rule "marriage before sex." the both of you respected each other and it wasn't something that your forced to follow.

but tonight was one of those nights where the both of you finally gets to explore one another. the room was dim, scented candles around and rose petals everywhere.

azzi kissed you passionately caressing your waist, azzi pulled away and rubbed your cheeks smiling. "are you sure your ready love?" azzi looked at you deeply and you nodded smiling. "just tell me if you start to feel uncomfy okay?" azzi commanded and you nodded. azzi pulled the string of your dress letting it slip down to your legs to the floor.

she placed soft kisses on your shoulder to your neck making you moan. " i love you so much my love." azzi muttured.

MASTERLIST

TAGLIST @janaelalfysloml @gabbyygoo @brenwritesss @addl0vee @sharksmom69 @bellaprintz25 @leiyanzyves @belsouza21 @apbueckers @loviingsunflower @luldejamleer @simpf0rriddle08 @paige05bby @scarrr5 @shootingstarrrrr @rosemariiaa @leslienjazzy @liviyy @weluvwbb @vicsstufff @taylynbueckers44 @yourmom-25s-blog @d7dream @paigesbasketball @sevikasleftbicep @azzisbueckers @bribadoobeee @tndaqlwifwy @dalilahissilly @bethsleftnip @fitecuddles @uwupaige @melpthatsme

[astrolook]

Is Your Dominant Planet Helping or Sabotaging You?

Ever feel like one planet in your chart is completely running your life? Like, no matter what, you always default to a certain way of thinking, reacting, or making the same questionable decisions? That’s your dominant planet at work. But is it making your life easier… or way harder than it needs to be? Let’s break it down.

How to Tell Which Planet is Dominant in Your Chart

Your dominant planet isn’t necessarily your Sun, Moon, or Rising—it’s the one with the most influence over your personality, choices, and bad habits. Some signs it’s the boss of your chart:

It’s in its home sign (like Venus in Libra or Mars in Aries) or exalted (like Moon in Taurus).

It has the most aspects (connections) to other planets.

It sits in a major house, like the 1st (identity), 10th (career), or 7th (relationships).

It rules your Sun, Moon, AND Rising (triple threat).

It’s the only planet of a certain element (Fire, Earth, Air, Water) in your chart.

If you have two or more dominant planets, congrats—you’re a complicated mess with conflicting instincts (but at least you’re interesting). You're like a cosmic onion.

Your Dominant Planet: The Good, The Bad, & The Ridiculous

☀️ Sun Dominant – The Main Character

Natural confidence—people notice you whether you want them to or not.

Charismatic and great at leading (or at least pretending to know what you’re doing).

Magnetic presence—people either admire you or feel deeply threatened.

Cannot handle being ignored for even five minutes.

Takes everything way too personally (the group chat going silent is not about you).

Life is one big performance, even when no one’s watching.

🌙 Moon Dominant – The Walking Emotional Rollercoaster

Emotionally intuitive—you just know when someone’s lying.

People trust you instantly (whether you wanted that responsibility or not).

Deeply caring—probably the “mom friend” of the group.

Gets attached too fast—if someone is nice to you once, they’re basically family.

Mood swings for absolutely no reason (and good luck explaining them).

Overthinks texts, social interactions, and why the barista looked at you weird.

🪐 Saturn Dominant – The Workaholic Who Can’t Relax

Disciplined and reliable—if you say you’ll do something, it gets done.

People respect you because you actually have your life together (or seem like you do).

Ages like fine wine—born a stressed-out child, but gets way cooler with time.

Takes responsibility for everything, even things that are not your problem.

Permanent resting serious face—people assume you’re judging them.

🔥 Mars Dominant – The Human Energy Drink

High-energy.

Assertive—you go after what you want and get it.

Quick reflexes—probably great at sports, fighting, or avoiding responsibilities.

Zero patience—slow walkers and buffering videos are your worst nightmare.

Occasional anger issues (“I’M NOT MAD, YOU’RE JUST WRONG”).

Thinks first, acts later… if at all.

🌿 Venus Dominant – The Flirt Who Gets Away with Everything

Naturally charming—people are drawn to you without knowing why.

Always looks effortlessly put together (even when you’re a mess inside).

Romantic AF—you love love.

Indecisive as hell—picking a restaurant is a 3-hour ordeal.

Can’t say no—people-pleasing is your toxic trait.

Might have a tiny shopping addiction (but hey, self-care).

☁️ Mercury Dominant – The Fast-Talker & Overthinker

Sharp, witty, and always has a comeback (even when you should probably keep quiet).

Absorbs information like a sponge—trivia night MVP.

Can talk to literally anyone about anything.

Mind never shuts up—sleep is a myth.

Either replies to texts instantly… or in three months, no in-between.

Talks way too fast—people need subtitles.

🌎 Jupiter Dominant – The Chaotic Optimist

Lucky AF—things somehow work out for you.

Big personality, big dreams, big everything.

Loves adventure—you’re always down for something wild.

Overestimates how much time, money, and luck you actually have.

Can’t resist saying yes to everything—major FOMO energy.

No impulse control—“Let’s book a trip right now.”

🔮 Neptune Dominant – The Daydreamer Who Might Be on Another Planet

Insanely creative—your imagination is unreal.

People find you mystical and intriguing (even when you’re just zoning out).

Deeply intuitive—you just know things before they happen.

Time management is a joke—was that 5 minutes or 5 hours? Who knows.

Has full-on fantasies about things that will never happen (but what if they did?).

Trusts people too easily (no, they will not "change" for you).

🖤 Pluto Dominant – The Intensity Overlord

Unshakable—life could crumble around you and you’d be fine.

Magnetic energy—people either worship or fear you.

Always transforming—rises from the ashes like a badass phoenix.

Suspicious of everyone (and usually right).

Constantly going through some kind of crisis.

Low-key enjoys dark, broody thoughts for fun.

So… Is Your Dominant Planet Helping or Sabotaging You?

Either way, you’re stuck with it. But the more you understand it, the more you can work with it instead of letting it run your life.

Want a full breakdown of your dominant planet & how it’s shaping your life? DM me with your birth details & email for a complete astrology reading! Look at my pinned post for pricing. 🔮✨

[loveemagicpeace]

South node & what you need to release 

South node in 1st house- you need to release a part of yourself to be fully in a relationship. You need to put more of your energy into others. Be more comfortable with others. You also need to find your true self to actually find someone who is right for you. The problem with this south node is that the person likes to be alone and feels comfortable alone, but deep down they want someone. They seek connection with the wrong people and let people into their lives who are not good for them. They need someone who will truly see them for who they are. For you to truly find your person. You have to look within yourself.

South node in 2nd house- you have to let go of control, comfort, attachment to things. You are used to stability, security, comfort, luxury, money, material things. You can hold on to the things and people you love for a long time. You may have developed a strong attachment to financial security or to defining your value through what you own or how others perceive you in a concrete way. The North Node in the 8th house pushes you toward inner transformation, trusting more in emotional depth and connections with others. You’re meant to learn to let go, trust life’s flow, and accept that true value isn’t in material wealth but in deep connections, emotional growth, and transformation. True abundance comes from inner evolution rather than just financial or physical security.

 South Node in 3rd house- you have to let go of your past life patterns (or karmic tendencies) revolve around intellect, communication, logic, and gathering information. You may have been someone who relied heavily on the mind, facts, and constant learning, but without diving deep into true wisdom. You may have a habit of gathering endless information or overthinking things, but now it’s time to focus on deeper understanding rather than just facts. The 3rd house is linked to short trips, social interactions, and mental stimulation. If you’re always engaged in small talk or minor tasks, it's time to step back and focus on the bigger picture. You may have been comfortable with familiar ideas and local surroundings, but now you’re meant to explore new cultures, philosophies, and a broader spiritual or intellectual perspective.

South Node in 4th house -you have to let go the comforts of home, the environment you are used to, and you may have to become more alienated from your mother (your mother may have had a great influence on you when you were little and on your decisions). You may have been deeply attached to your past, your family, or the need for comfort and emotional safety. You may have had a strong attachment to your family, home life, or childhood patterns. Now, you're meant to create your own path rather than staying tied to old emotional dynamics. You may have spent lifetimes focused on family duties, caretaking, or your inner emotional world. Now, it’s time to prioritize your career, ambitions, and public legacy. The 4th house is a deeply personal and emotional space. If you’ve been too focused on personal matters, you need to step up and embrace responsibility in the professional or public sphere.

South Node in 5th house- your soul has already experienced themes of creativity, romance, pleasure, and self-expression in past lives. You may have been deeply immersed in self-expression, personal projects, or artistic pursuits, but now, the lesson is to share your talents in a way that benefits the collective rather than just for personal fulfillment. You have to let go of worries related to children and focus on your joy. It's time to move away from needing intense love affairs and instead focus on deeper, long-term bonds built on friendship and shared ideals. If you’ve been used to standing out as the center of attention, the challenge is to recognize that you don’t lose yourself by being part of something bigger.

South Node in 6th house-you have to let go of worries, over-analyzing, perfectionism. Worries about health or a general preoccupation with cleanliness and minimalism. You are probably very good at organizing, planning things, and you usually want things to go according to plan. It's good to let yourself know that you're not perfect and that things don't always have to be perfect. You may have spent lifetimes being highly disciplined, responsible, and focused on efficiency. Now, it’s time to let go of the idea that your worth is tied to how much you accomplish. You may have a habit of focusing on flaws—either in yourself or others. This lifetime is about shifting from judgment to compassion and seeing the bigger picture rather than just the details. This lifetime is about shifting from rigid control and practicality to deep surrender and trust in the unknown.

South Node in 7th house- you have to let go of relationships that no longer serve you and start to find who you are without the relationships you have in your life. You may have focused a lot on relationships and spent a lot of time in relationships and are used to always having someone, but in this case, your goal is to find yourself without a partner. Not caring about the needs of others but serving yourself. It's time to release the fear of disappointing others and focus on your own desires. However, your soul's growth now comes from embracing independence and learning that solitude is where you discover your true self. The lesson here is to stop relying on others to affirm your worth.

South Node in 8th house- you are used to transformations, intense things, deep relationships. In past lives, you may have been financially, emotionally, or energetically tied to others, relying on their resources or support. Now, you are meant to build your own stability and wealth rather than depending on external sources. The 8th house deals with endings, trauma, and deep emotional experiences. You may have had past-life experiences of loss, power struggles, or intense transformations. Now, your soul craves peace, security, and steadiness, rather than dramatic ups and downs. The 8th house is connected to deep emotional bonds, sometimes to the point of obsession. You may have a history of toxic relationships, karmic entanglements, or emotional extremes, and now, you're meant to learn self-worth, self-reliance, and emotional stability.

South Node in 9th house-your soul has spent past lives (or early in this life) focused on seeking truth, higher knowledge, travel, and philosophical exploration. You may have a tendency to always look at life in a broad, philosophical way, but now, you’re meant to focus on the details and practical knowledge rather than abstract ideas. In past lives, you may have been a traveler, a scholar, or a spiritual seeker who moved from place to place in search of wisdom. Now, it's time to find meaning in your immediate surroundings, everyday conversations, and personal experiences rather than always looking outward. In past lives, you may have walked a solitary path, seeking truth in foreign lands or through intellectual pursuits. Now, you are meant to engage with your local community, form meaningful conversations, and share knowledge in a way that connects people.

South Node in 10th house- you may have built your identity around success, recognition, and achievements. Now, your path is about finding fulfillment within, rather than relying on career or public image for validation. In past lives, you may have been extremely ambitious, prioritizing work and public life over personal matters. It’s time to release the need to prove yourself through constant productivity and focus on emotional well-being instead. Now, you are meant to embrace your emotions, heal family wounds, and create a safe space for yourself. – In past lives, your soul may have prioritized external accomplishments over home and relationships. This lifetime teaches you that personal connections and emotional stability matter more than public success.

South Node in 11th house-you may have spent lifetimes being deeply involved in social causes, communities, or large networks. While this gave you a sense of belonging, you are now meant to focus on your own individuality rather than blending into a group. Now, your soul’s path is about following your heart, embracing joy, and allowing yourself to create without overanalyzing. You might have a habit of prioritizing friendships or collective goals over personal relationships. In this lifetime, you're meant to embrace romance, intimacy, and the vulnerability that comes with deep personal connections. Your challenge is to stop waiting for “someday” and allow yourself to live fully in the moment. You may feel more comfortable working behind the scenes or as part of a team. But now, you're being called to step into the spotlight, embrace your uniqueness, and let your creative energy shine.

South Node in 12th house-In past lives, you may have been a mystic, monk, or someone who lived in retreat from society. You may naturally withdraw from the world, but this life is about engaging in the physical world and being of service. Now, you're meant to ground your spiritual wisdom in daily routines and structured habits instead of floating in the abstract. The 12th house is tied to past-life karma. You may feel like you have an unseen weight on your shoulders or a subconscious sense of guilt. In this lifetime, you are not meant to sacrifice yourself but to serve others in a balanced, healthy way. You may have a habit of avoiding structure, discipline, or the details of daily life. Your soul is now learning the importance of commitment, routine, and practical efforts that lead to real-world results.

-Rebekah 🧜🏻‍♀️💗

[natalchartnurtures]

Pick-A-Cat GIF: Why Do People Stare At You?

Let's expose the people who stare at you *evil laughs * hehe

Paid readings now available for everybody!

Intention set for the reading: "I want this to be a feel good pick a card to uplift anybody that comes across it. I want their lower three chakras to get a healing boost after reading this pick a card. I want the messages in here to be clear honest and oh so fun to read.

Thank you so much spirit team for helping me do this and help my collective. I lysm <3

Let's begin!"

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Pile 1:

Ok. You a domestic queen/king/non-binary royal. Even if you don't identify as one.

Why you ask? Because sweetie, there's something DEEPly satisfying about watching you go about your mundane day. Doing your lil mundane chores and things. You give off a cozy Bilbo Baggins typa vibe it's almost as if you seem so content being in your lil bubble and living your life that it begs for the attention of people who struggle with inner peace. This is why a lot of people who stare at you, stare at you. They wanna know your secret formula to what they're calling inner peace, cuz you look like somebody who's sooooo CONTENT with their own life and their own shi- and their own company. Keep in mind that this doesn't necessarily mean your life is inherently good all the time like you could have everything going wrong in your life and still handle it like a damn Pro and come out on the other side feeling better than before. You alchemize. Consciously or not, you do. And you do it naturally. Let me tell you something, this alchemical-bouncing-back-from-anything mentality IS your source of infinite inner peace. People who stare at you actually pick up on this nature of yours on a very subconscious level without even realizing and boy.. do they desperately wanna know your "secret" which is basically your alchemy. Lmao. So good luck to anybody who tries to understand you, they're gonna have a tough time tryna understand alchemy as a muggle

A lil rant: NO shade to anybody who's not on the spiritual journey but hey I gotta call it out EXACTLY how it is. Your wisdom was hard 👏🏾 earned 👏🏾 so it's gonna take MORE than just overnight to understand you and your alchemical nature. Like am I wrong?

End Of Rant

I think you get it by now. Your vibe is why people stare at you. It's like you ✨️bewitch✨️ people with your ability to "never get stressed" (at least on face value) no matter what life seems to throw at you. This tells me that most people who stare at you are people who see you in public spaces fairly regularly (like a class or a park near where you live etc) and they don't know you very well?

You have a lotta strangers taking respite in your beauty. Staring at you could be like an escape almost.. like taking a sip from that well of infinite inner peace .. gosh you have a very beautiful aura pile 1, hehe and I love and adore that.

It seems to me like you're angelic.. a white aura or light blue one almost.. you exude very high vibrational energy which makes sense cuz a lot of high vibe people get stares for simply existing! Cuz they move differently through life.

Pile 1, you take the proverbial road less taken- the path of spiritual alchemy and face your darkness and this allows you to MOVE DIFFERENTLY and respond different to life than most people. This. THIS is why people stare at you. My sweet, <insert your name> 😊

Any physical/personality traits that people admire:

👉🏾 You may look very cute in your overall appearance which makes you VERY endearing to look at haha. You're cute like a hobbit is. Maybe your shorter than average? Love my fellow Short Queens Tehe ✨️

👉🏾 Even tho you seem very cute, you have eyes of a SAGE of like fucking YODA or something cuz goddamn they deep af. People are MESMERIZED by this duality they sense in you. Love to see it.

👉🏾 You have an air of authenticity to you. You care if you really care, don't if you really don't. No BS typa first impressions when people look at you.

👉🏾 You might strong looking g features that's very beautiful. Like strong looking legs, or strong looking hands, or strong facial features too? Your beauty is kinda Tate McRae's if I'm being honest.. that's what I'm picking up on.. it feels so lovely to sit in ><

And with that were done with your reading for today!

Thank you so very much for reading!

I love you soooo much 🫶🏾🫂

Have yourself a nice rest of your day, now and see yaaaaa <3

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Pile 2:

Whoa when I was starting your reading I accidently asked spirit "What makes my pile number 2s attractive?" instead of "What makes people stare at my pile 2s?"

So you have your answer right there.

People stare cuz you is attractive ok? 💅🏾 I'm getting a strong vibe that you already know this but kinda don't care? Cuz like there's more to you than meets the eye (kinda like in the case of Marilyn Monroe) and you seem to know this too so you're like "yea ik I'm cute, whatever" haha I love itttt sooo much. You a lil miss diva ✨️

Have you ever heard of Brown Magic by Twinjabi? It's BLASTING in my ears as I'm channeling for you right NOW lol this is, again, pointing to me how people find you really attractive.

~Oh and keep in mind, you don't have to be a brown girl to relate to the song :p ~

It's ridiculous how many pages you got all at once. This is telling me that you have this child-like vibe to you. You seem carefree and ~oh so~ positive in the way you look at things, at life. Your energy seems very light just like a child. You embody your inner child really well and this CATCHES people's attention like it's nobody's bussiness. You could really do a lot of work around healing your inner child and your connection to her/him which is helping you sustain your natural curiosity, wonder for life and that pure essence.. Alot of people who stare at you do so cuz they've most probably lost touch with their own inner children. They look to you as a source of light that they struggle to connect with themselves.

And you know what that means-

You trigger people ALOT.

You get stares from some people who are jealous of you and want what you have (your connection to your inner child and GodSource) but WITHOUT putting in the work necessary like excuse me?! Back off. My dear sweet <insert your name> doesn't need your stank ass energy rn.

This. This right here is why you also have a very strong field of divine protection around you. And because you're so protected, you have this untouchable reputation which is ironically why people like to stare at you. They feel like staring at you is the only way they can be close to you. Gosh.

You are naturally a very open and welcoming person but spirit makes sure your safe WHILE being so open and trusting of life and people which is why very few (best of the pack) people are allowed into your "circle" so to speak. Love that for you 😌✨️

You seem to have a very strong root chakra, pile 2. People stare at you cuz you give off "rich girl/guy vibe" (don't matter if you are actually financially comfortable or not) it's just. your. VIBE. It's very abundant because of that open and functioning root chakra! So whatever work you've been doing just know that's it's PAYING OFF really nicely heheheheh (good job pile 2! Root chakra work ain't easy)

Any physical/personality traits that people admire:

👉🏾 Your. HAIR.

👉🏾 If you wear red you may feel like people can't take thier eyes off you BECAUSE THEY ACTUALLY CAN NOT. You rock red like nobody's bussiness tehe ❤️

👉🏾 Not just red, any kind of dark feminine aesthetic like black cat makeup, edgy/alternate aesthetics or darker clothes etc brings out your beauty and people who stare at you can't get enough of that lmao

👉🏾 You have a earthy vibe which makes you feel very pleasing to look at (in a luxurious way)

👉🏾 People might find it hard to recognize your ethnicity or your accent cuz you give ethnically ambiguous in the best, most attractive of ways ✨️

And with that were done with your reading for today!

Thank you so very much for reading!

I love you soooo much 🫶🏾🫂

Have yourself a nice rest of your day, now and see yaaaaa <3

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Pile 3:

You have the 9 of pentaches and the empress out as your first two cards. Need I say more?

You are STUNNING to look at. You wear amazing clothes. You're in your divine feminine energy, hell, you COMMAND energy like an EMPRESS does.

The power you hold is exactly why people stare at you.

They can't help but stare at you. Bro, your energy BECKONS for attention even if you don't want it.

I'm getting a feeling that you like to stay low key and just chill like because I'm getting a very Miss Independent vibe from you which is well deserved because you know how to get ish DONE 💅🏾 you're responsible like that. But it's this I'm-in-my-bubble-don't-BOTHER-me typa energy is why people I heard- are obsessed with you. People stare out of obsession.

They wanna observe every move you make cuz it's just that mesmerizing. Some people who stare at you may have have crushes on you or secretly admire you (platonic/romantic)

There's a deep respect that the people who stare at you, have for you. It's like they look to you for some kinda inspiration, depending on who is staring.

I'm also getting that you may move like deer, graceful. You may love to vibe out to your own energy.

You also know who to let in and who to keep away. You can SMELL bullshit from a mile away and keep that the fuck out.

This is some bad bitch energy, pile 3! I'm so pumped rn sitting in your energy!

Wow ok I'm getting a very specific message now. People stare at you so they can learn more about you? They wanna know what makes you tick (maybe there's somebody in your surrounding who wants to shoot theur shot with you?) Lol that's kinda cute.

But yea you have this free sprinted, wild feminine energy. You'll do what you want, when you want. You're the definition of never let them know your next move and BOY do I love that for you <3

You are a very interesting person. Cuz you're you. You're not afraid of expressing exactly how you feel and this makes you are really enjoyable to be around and so people stare at you cuz they enjoy how you come across- unabashed in your self expression and unapologetic in your authenticity!

Ahhhhhhh this some Queen Shi-

I'm so honoured to be reading for you rn!

You must also have your boundary game strong cuz I'm getting that you can easily cut people off if they don't come correct and people enjoy how authentic you are.

You're giving me MAD Tyla energy rn man. You could maybe even look her? Idk but whatever you look like trust me. People love to stare.

Hehe 🤭

People enjoy watching you take action. Lemme explain. If you're in school people love to stare at you while you're working on a project or something or just in class, taking notes n stuff. You have a way about you that's so addicting, man, people who's stare at you don't wanna stop 👀💀 like hello stop burning holes on my body from the intense staring? Excuse me like huh?

If you're at work, some of your colleges could stare at you out of admiration or simply cuz they have a crush on you (or your work ethic?) Or how you dress 🙃

Whatever it is you tend to pour your authenticity into everything you do. Small, big. Doesn't mattter. You do life in YOUR own (divine) way and that's awesome!

You the shit pile 3, I hope you know that.

Any physical/personality traits that people admire:

👉🏾 Your clothes!

👉🏾 You! Yes you read that right, you in your entirety, in your full essence is what people admire. It's your physical beauty. It's your intelligence. It's your taste in music and movies. Your hobbies. Your authenticity. Everything about you, girlie, is fantastic.

👉🏾 Your independence

👉🏾 Your courage to choose joy over fear

👉🏾 Your wisdom

👉🏾 Your ability to enjoy being alone

👉🏾 Your sense of dedication and devotion (to whatever you choose to give it to)

And with that were done with your reading for today!

Thank you so very much for reading!

I love you soooo much 🫶🏾🫂

Have yourself a nice rest of your day, now and see yaaaaa <3

⋆˙⟡♡⋆˙⟡♡⋆˙⟡♡⋆˙⟡♡⋆˙⟡♡⋆˙⟡♡⋆˙⟡♡⋆˙⟡♡⋆˙⟡♡⋆˙⟡♡⋆˙⟡♡⋆˙⟡♡⋆˙⟡♡⋆˙⟡♡

[noredemptionhere]

𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙲𝙰𝙽𝙾𝙽𝚂 ⚝ 𝚆𝙸𝙵𝙴!𝚂𝙴𝚅𝙸𝙺𝙰 𝚇 𝙵𝙴𝙼!𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙴𝚁

warnings: some of these are a bit unsettling and darker than arcane’s usual tone. if that’s not your thing, scroll. no need to tell me sevika is a pookie wookie she wouldn’t hurt a fly—i promise i do not care.

⚝| sevika has an uncanny patience when dressing you. sliding silk over your shoulders, fastening buttons, smoothing down fabric. but when she undresses you, it’s different. she never rips, never rushes, but the way she peels each layer off feels clinical, like she’s dissecting something precious.

⚝| sevika never corrects you when you’re wrong. but when someone else does, she just looks at them, quiet and unreadable, until they shift uncomfortably and drop the subject. later, in private, she murmurs the right answer against your skin like a prayer.

⚝| she never raises her voice at you, ever. but her silence cuts deeper than any shouted argument. when she’s upset, she just watches you, eyes heavy lidded and still, until your nerves unravel and you start apologizing before you even know what for.

⚝| sevika has a ritualistic way of loving you…every night, she brushes your hair in long, slow strokes, unraveling every tangle with near-reverence. it’s soothing, but you don’t realize it’s a form of control until you miss a night and she grips your wrist, jaw tightening, voice low “sit down. i’m not asking.”

⚝| sevika feeds you with her fingers, not utensils. no matter how messy, no matter how impractical. she never lets you take the food from her hands, only lets you open your mouth and accept. sometimes she waits too long, lets the food linger between her fingers, watching your lips part in hesitation before she finally presses it to your tongue.

⚝| sevika doesn’t like locked doors, not yours, not hers. you don’t even have a lock on your bedroom anymore; she removed it one day while you were out. didn’t say anything about it, didn’t acknowledge it. but when you ask, she just raises a brow. “what do you need a lock for?” and there’s something in her voice that makes you feel ridiculous for asking.

⚝| sevika keeps your old nightgowns, the ones that have worn too thin, the ones that smell too much like you. she never tells you why. you only find them later, folded neatly in the back of a drawer you don’t open often, tucked away like something sacred.

⚝| sevika is obsessed with your warmth.. but only when you’re sleeping. when you’re awake, she touches you gently, reverently. but when you sleep, when you can’t see her, she holds you differently. arms locked, face buried against your skin, inhaling deeply like she’s afraid you’ll disappear if she lets go. some nights, you wake up gasping, feeling like you were being suffocated, but she’s just there, still, unmoving, barely breathing.

⚝| sevika remembers everything you say in passing. weeks later, she hands you something you forgot you even mentioned wanting. she repeats things back to you, word for word, like a recording. sometimes, she tells you things you don’t remember saying at all. and she never lies. you know she never lies. so you believe her.

⚝| sevika has a way of making you feel small without making you feel weak. it’s in the way she stands close, in the way she speaks low, in the way her hands find your waist so easily. she makes you feel delicate, precious, something to be handled carefully. and you like it. you like it so much it scares you.

⚝| sevika hates hearing you apologize. it doesn’t matter what it’s for. every time the word slips past your lips, her jaw tightens, her fingers flex like she’s holding herself back from something. “don’t,” she says, firm, steady. but the next time, you still say it. and the next time, she doesn’t say anything at all, just looks at you for a long, long time before shaking her head.

⚝| sevika kisses you like she’s taking something. it’s never harsh, never forceful. just deep, lingering, like she’s breathing you in, keeping something for herself. and when she pulls away, you always feel a little.. lighter. like something small has been plucked from you, but you can’t tell what.

⚝| sevika doesn’t like when you smell different. if you use a new soap, a new perfume, she notices immediately. her fingers trail over your pulse, slow, deliberate. “this isn’t yours,” she murmurs, barely above a whisper. there’s no accusation in her voice, but something about it makes you feel guilty.

⚝| sevika picks out all your clothes.. not just your nightgowns, but everything. you never really noticed when it started. now, when you try to choose something yourself, you hesitate. your hands hover over the fabric, uncertain, like you’re waiting for her approval even when she isn’t there.

⚝| sevika wears glasses when she reads.. a rare sight, one you can never resist. the moment they rest on the bridge of her nose, you’re on her lap, draping yourself over her like a silken shawl. you press kisses along her cheekbone, her jaw, whispering saccharine nothings against her skin, drunk on the contrast of her sharpness and your softness. she exhales like she’s indulging you, like she’s letting you win.. but she never takes the glasses off. she keeps reading, one hand turning the page, the other resting heavy on your thigh.

[prosypepper]

sensitive ft. toji fushiguro

to be as strong and high-spirited as you are, toji was definitely caught off-guard when he found you crying for the first time.

it didn’t happen on purpose, either. there was no sign as to why you’d be upset, you hadn’t told him anything all day that could even lead to you being so sad, sobbing hysterically into his pillow.

but that didn’t matter. all toji understood was that you were upset, sad, angry, something; and he needed to make it better. so there he stood, frozen in his tracks for a while, an unfamiliar pang in his chest at your cries—the sound alone almost upset him, for some reason.

you didn’t notice toji until he slid into bed behind you, easily scooping up your body in his arms and moving you around to rest on his chest, your arms still grasping the pillow. your cries got even harder for a second at the realization toji had you.

“hey, hey,” toji spoke, calmly, soft, “what’s wrong, babydoll?”

toji’s brows furrowed when you only sniffled and hyperventilated for a minute, chest heaving as you attempted to catch your breath—to no avail. if it wasn’t for you practically melting into his touch, he would’ve thought he was making the situation even worse.

“baby,” toji whispered, waiting for a moment before pressing your head into the middle of his chest, “breathe.” his palm ran over your head repeatedly, taking big, deep breaths of his own in hopes you’d follow after. he could feel your tears soaking through his shirt, making big, wet spots, but at that moment, he cared for nothing more than to make you feel better.

like magic, your breathing began to slow down, sniffles becoming less frequent, the clutch you had on the pillow softening. toji took a big sigh of relief at that. he held you like that for a solid fifteen minutes, gently rocking you back and forth with his body.

yet toji didn’t count the minutes, he just stayed. stayed until you stopped crying, until your breathing was back to normal, until there was no sign of woe in the room. he rested his chin atop your head for a little, stroking your arm with his fingertips.

“you okay?” toji asked, almost awkwardly, when obviously, you were not okay.

“mhm,” you hummed, eyes open and staring at the window next to your shared bed.

“hey,” toji repeated, drawing his head back, your sad, wet eyes attracted to his like magnets, “none of that. what’s wrong?” just the simple question caused tears to well up in your eyes again, but you blinked them away and sighed.

“don’t know,” you said, resting your head on his chest by yourself that time, “overwhelmed, i guess. and i watched a sad movie. everything jus’ got to me at once.”

toji frowned, knowing he had no idea that life was piling up on you—and he hadn’t done anything to help beforehand.

“‘m sorry, baby,” he apologized, pecking a kiss to the top of your head, “didn’t know you were so stressed.”

“it’s not your fault, toji,” you replied, nuzzling into his chest, “i just suck at communicating.”

“that makes two of us,” he paused, thinking deeply about what to say next, “you can tell me whatever. scream, cry, hit me, i don’t care.”

“toji, i’m not gonna hit you,” you giggled, a smile finally creeping on your face—the smile toji had been waiting for since he first saw you so upset.

and for once in his life, with you in his arms, toji thought he was doing something right.

[cussundria-nerd-kneal]

I know this is more of a light heart post... but that's the thing, isn't it?

Shart deep down, knows something is deeply wrong with her situation, her life. But this is literally all she knows, so she can't formulate an opinion what WHAT is wrong. She's been "taught" to be secretive and bitchy, because that's all she knows, but deep down, this doesn't feel right. If you're nice to her, she flips so fast because being nice FEELS RIGHT. There's no niggle of doubt eating at her, it goes away for the first time, and opening up feels even more right, because that's the real person who she could have been.

A very sweet girl with good humor and lots of sass that loves sharing her experiences. A sweet woman that cares for people, no matter what they look like. An independant woman who stands up for what she believes in. THAT'S the real Shadowheart tgat the Sharran cult tried to snuff out and mold into something else.

But deep, deep down... the woman knows this isn't right. No matter how many times she's lobotomized, that woman remains, silently screaming. And that's why when Aylin starts directly challenging Shadowheart's commitment to her relion, starts challenging what she thinks is "right," Shart crumbles again. Because that voice of doubt doesn't go quiet like it did to a little bit of kindness and empathy, the screaming intensifies, but changes in pitch. It screams that SHE'S RIGHT SHE'S RIGHT SHE'S RIGHT-- and in an act that almost appears completely out of character, that woman throws the Sharran spear.

The girl this cult has tried to shape her into is horrified and bewildered at her own orthidox actions - WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST DO - but that woman that could not be snuffed out is crying in victory. And Aylin could hear it, and that's why she was always gentle with Shadowheart, even in her sneering, her voice was gentle. She knew this isn't what the true individual wants, and is so proud that she listened to that inner voice at the last second.

Tav's kindness is the first domino that cracks the Sharran molding around Shadowheart, but in doing so, leds to Shart figuring out and gaining back her true independance. Shadowheart is Shar's weakest warrior, because she never wanted to be her warrior in the first place. And finally, through a single act of patient kindness, that wiman is able to escape and be free.

My heart hurts for this character, man. Its so horrific. Its not as blatant as Astarion's story... but it's just as twisted.

Shadowheart kills me. Tries so hard to be icy and bitchy and rude. But if you're just like not judgemental about any of that she immediately has heart eyes and gives you pep talks if you ask her about how shit's going. Her whole cleric domain is keeping secrets to the point she got lobotomized for it and yet she's like "well anyways here's everything about me." After like five minutes of being nice to her. Truly Shar's worst warrior.

[endofthelinegang]

Would Matt Murdock have hard time being around an emotional & sensitive person? Like, when someone raises their voice slightly or be mean to me, I'd be holding back tears.

alrighty let me crack my fingers here, whip out the keyboard, here are some headcanons and a little bonus fic

Matt picks up on every little change in your heartbeat, breathing. There is no hiding your sensitive behavior and feelings. He’ll know the second something is wrong and will gently nudge you to talk about it.

He’s used to dealing with intensity and conflict, but when it comes to you it is personal which makes him a lot softer. If someone raises their voice at you, Matt immediately steps in, positioning himself between you and the other person, voice low and steady. “Hey, that’s enough.” He doesn’t need to get aggressive, he is confident that his presence will do the job.

When he senses you’re on the verge of tears, he’ll make sure that he is properly handling the situation. He will either reach for your hand or if you are in a group, even a small one, he would guide you somewhere quieter. He knows how embarssing it can be to have a crashout moment or a cry in public. He is just the right amount of touch, not too brutish but not so soft it makes your skin tingle.

Matt’s seen the worst of humanity, he in fact has told you that humans are the worst monsters to ever exist. Your kindness and sensitivity? It’s a kind of a relief, I mean to see a human be human in a non-criminal way, happy heart moment. He never gets frustrated if you’re overwhelmed easily. Instead, he’ll talk you through it, using that soothing lawyer voice of his. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Just breathe. I’ve got you.”

If someone makes you cry, he interalizes it. He won’t lose his mind and go on a killing spree, but there’s a quiet, dangerous edge to him if you allow him to confront the responsible party and or person. He would not go out of his way to do that outside of your permission unless you were physically injured.

If you’re spiraling, he’ll do whatever you need him to do, of course he does not always expect you to be able to tell him. His go to is to take you anywhere that is away from everyone else and firstly try light touch and talking, if that is not sucessful then physical touch with your body as his guide, and if nothing else he will give you space and just sit with you.

He admires your ability to feel so deeply. He’s seen too many people become numb to the world, himself included sometimes. Loving you reminds him that softness isn’t a weakness—it’s a strength.

Matt hears it before you even step through the door—the unsteady rhythm of your breathing, the uneven thump of your heartbeat, the way your shoe pats against the floor like you’re quickly tapping, possibly shaking.

Something happened, something Matt knew he would not like.

He feels you, tracks the way your keys rattle to open the door. Then the door opens, and even though you don’t say a word, he feels the weight settle into the apartment with you, he hears the tiniest sigh escape your lips.

You linger in the doorway, hesitant, like there’s something pressing against your chest, something you can’t quite push down. You knew Matt already knew it was written all over the way he stood with his ear facing the door just listening to every single thing you did. You don’t even take off your coat, don’t put your bag down—just stand there, staring at your shoes.

Matt sets his cane aside as quietly as he can, stepping toward you carefully. “Sweetheart?” His voice is quiet, meant to coax, but you still flinch ever so slightly as you completely spaced out.

“Hey,” you say, and the sound of it makes his stomach twist. It’s thin, a ghost of your usual tone, fragile like brittle glass.

He waits for you to say more, maybe even start to sob or cry, but you don’t. You don’t move, don’t breathe properly, like you’re standing with a gun pointing into your back.

“Talk to me,” he says, stepping closer. “What happened?”

You exhale sharply, shaking your head. “It’s stupid.” The words slip out under your breath like they were not even meant to be spoken.

His brows pull together. “It’s not.”

You hesitate, your fingers twisting into the hem of your sleeve, you could feel your face heat up. A type of heat that would travel everywhere in your body that allowed you to move just with trickling pains. Then it all spilled out.

“I went to meet up with some people after work.” You pause, choosing your words carefully, like they might come out wrong if you’re not precise.. “I thought—God, I don’t know. I thought they were my friends.”

Matt’s jaw tightens, but he doesn’t speak. He just listens.

“They weren’t mean exactly,” you continue, you could not stop playing little moments about that interaction through your head, it felt like it would never end. “It was just little things.”

Your breathing shudders, as you allow yourself to use more of your body to take steps, the sound of your shoes were just as loud to you as they were to Matt.

“They kept talking over me. Every time I tried to say something, they’d just—move on, like I wasn’t even there. And when they did acknowledge me, it was just—” You break off, swallowing hard. “Little jokes. Stuff about how I’m too sensitive, how I take things too seriously, how I always ‘look like I’m about to cry.’”

Matt feels a sharp, quiet anger coil in his chest, but he keeps his voice soft when he speaks. “Did you say anything to them?”

You let out a breathy, humorless laugh. “Yeah. And you know what they did? They laughed. Said I was proving their point.”

Matt closes his eyes for a brief moment, his jaw clenching hard enough that it aches. He knows—God, he knows—that kind of cruelty, the kind that hides behind lightness, the kind that makes you feel like you’re the problem.

You press the heels of your hands against your eyes, your breath hitching. “I hate this,” you whisper. “I hate that I can’tjust brush things off, that stuff like this gets to me so much.” Your voice breaks on the last word, small and aching.

Matt steps in without hesitation, if anyone knew how it felt to not be heard or understood. Though he did not interalize his feelings as deeply as you he knew how damiging to the mind not being understood could be. The closer he got to you the louder your heartbeat seemed to get, your skin looked red and angry especially your hands.

His hands find yours, gently prying them away from your face. His touch is steady, warm, careful. He cradles your face in his hands letting you keep your hands to yourself, his thumbs ghosting over your cheekbones, tracing the heat lingering beneath your skin, the tremble in your lips. His hands feel cool against your face, a nice soft cool.

“You feel things deeply,” he murmurs, voice low and sure. “That’s not a flaw.”

Your throat works, but you don’t speak, something about being able to smell his cologne and slight leathery smell from the couch made you feel okay to breathe.

Matt leans down, resting his forehead against yours, his breath warm and steady. “They don’t get to decide what’s too much. They don’t get to tell you that you’re wrong for feeling.”

You let out a shaky breath, and your hands come up, gripping his wrists, grounding yourself with him.

“But they made me feel so—” Your breath hitches again, and the words spill out before you can stop them. “So small.”

Matt feels that, too. A loss of a sense is enough to make freshly blind young Matt feel so tiny when he was a child and that is a very hard feeling to forget. To think about the fact that you felt this way so often shook him up. Something in his chest cracks, deep and aching. Because he knows. He knows what it’s like to be dismissed, to be talked over, to have the world act like you’re invisible. He knows how it rots inside you, how it makes you doubt your own voice, your own presence.

He slides his arms around you, pulling you close, his hand coming up to cradle the back of your head. He holds you like you’re something precious, he softens your hair down on your head as he feels you attempt to settle down.

“You are not small,” he murmurs into your hair, voice thick with emotion. “Not to me.”

Your body shudders, and then you break, your arms wrapping around him as you bury yourself in his comforting presence. He feels the damp heat of your tears against his collar, the way your shoulders shake as you let go, letting him hold you, letting yourself be seen.

Matt presses a slow, lingering kiss to the top of your head, his hands tracing slow circles against your back.

“You’re going to be okay,” he murmurs. “I’ve got you.”

And this time, when you grip him tighter, when you press yourself closer like you believe him—Matt knows you do.

[777bae]

NO TEARS LEFT TO CRY LUKE HUGHES

Summary :: After months of healing, you run into Luke, and everything you thought you’d moved past comes rushing back. Disoriented and lost, you realize you haven’t truly moved on.

Warnings :: post-break up sorrows

Word count :: 1.9k

You weren’t ready for this. Not after everything. Not after the months you had spent crawling, piece by piece, out of the hole his absence had created in your life. You had thought that time would heal the wounds, that the ache would lessen until you could look back at the relationship with a sense of closure, of peace. But peace had been a foreign concept, fleeting and unreachable. And standing here now, surrounded by familiar faces, in a room that used to hold so many shared memories, you realized how wrong you had been. The quiet had settled in, yes, but it was the kind of quiet that left too much room for your mind to wander. It was in this silence that you had started to rebuild, to create a life that didn’t require him. You had forced yourself to think you were okay. You had learned to exist in a world without him, convinced that time had softened the sharpness of the pain.

But this? This moment? You were nowhere near ready for it.

As soon as you stepped into the room, the disorientation hit. You tried to steady your breathing, but it felt impossible. Everything around you seemed to collapse in on itself, a blur of faces and voices that became indistinct and distant, all of it fading away except for him. Luke. His presence was like gravity, pulling you in, while everything else spun around you, dizzying and unsteady. The room was the same, the people were the same, but the world you had known suddenly didn’t make sense. It wasn’t just the sight of him that made everything tilt. It was the overwhelming feeling of how much had changed—how much you had tried to change—and yet, how much of it had been in vain.

You had come here with the intention of being okay. You had spent months trying to convince yourself that you could move forward, that the pieces of your life could fall back into place. You had distracted yourself with work, with friends, with the little things that kept you from staring too deeply into the hole of your grief. But now, standing here, watching him move effortlessly through the room, interacting with people like he had never been a part of your life, it hit you. The life you had tried to rebuild didn’t feel real anymore. It was like you were playing a role, trying to be someone you no longer recognized. The world that had once been so familiar felt foreign, twisted into something unrecognizable, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that you had lost yourself along the way.

The disorientation wasn’t just emotional. It was physical. The room seemed to spin, and for a moment, the noise around you turned into a muffled hum. Your head felt heavy, and your chest tightened, as if the air in the room was suddenly too thick to breathe. The familiar faces, the familiar sounds—none of it mattered. Your eyes, your heart, your mind—they were all focused on him. Luke. His smile was still the same, effortless, and warm, but it wasn’t for you anymore. The ease in his laugh, the way he moved through the crowd—it was a stark contrast to the tangled mess of emotions that had been buried deep inside of you, emotions you had spent months trying to suffocate, trying to bury. And here they were, clawing their way back to the surface, pulling you under.

You felt like you were drowning. His presence was the anchor, but it was the kind that dragged you down further, into a place where you didn’t know how to swim anymore.

For months, you had tried to rebuild your life, to find solid ground again. You told yourself that you were okay. You told yourself that you didn’t need him to be happy, that you could find your own way, that you could survive without him. You had thrown yourself into work, into the arms of friends who tried their best to understand, into hobbies that took your mind off the ache that never truly left. You had found distractions. But now, standing here, surrounded by this old, familiar chaos, you realized how much you had lost. How much of your life had been spent pretending to move on when, in reality, you had been spinning in place, unable to make sense of anything.

Luke had moved on. That much was clear. It was in the way he stood, the way he spoke to people, the way his gaze shifted across the room with an ease you had long forgotten. He had figured it out. He had found a way to keep going, to keep living, and to let go of the past. He had found his rhythm again. His life had continued, resumed its natural flow, while yours had fractured into a thousand pieces that you still hadn’t figured out how to put back together.

You had spent so long trying to hide from the truth—that his absence had torn something inside of you, something you could never repair. But now, as your eyes found his across the room, you felt it, the truth crashing into you all at once. The weight of everything that had been lost, of everything that could never be again, came flooding back with the force of a tidal wave. You couldn’t outrun it, couldn’t escape it. You couldn’t ignore it.

When your eyes met his, it wasn’t just a passing glance. It was a collision.

His gaze wasn’t quite the same as it had been when you were together. There was a softness there, an understanding that hadn’t been present before. But it was different. He wasn’t the same Luke who used to be yours. That version of him had faded, just as you had faded. And now, here, in front of you, stood a man you didn’t know. A man who had moved on, who had learned to exist without you. And you? You were left trying to find your footing in a world that felt like it had been tilted off its axis.

The confusion washed over you, an overwhelming, disorienting wave of emotion that you couldn’t control. You had spent so long convincing yourself that you were okay—that you had healed, that you had moved on—but this moment shattered that illusion. You hadn’t moved on at all. The ache was back, sharper now, mingling with disbelief. How had you gotten here again? How had it all unraveled so quickly? You had thought that the wound had closed, but here it was, wide open again, bleeding through your carefully constructed walls.

Your chest tightened, and your breath caught in your throat. The air felt thick, suffocating. Your heart raced, a frantic rhythm you couldn’t escape. You opened your mouth, but the words wouldn’t come. It wasn’t just the devastation of seeing him again—it was the realization that your life no longer made sense. The world that had been so certain, so structured, was now nothing more than a blur. The ground beneath your feet no longer felt stable. The person you had tried to become—the person you thought you had become—was slipping away from you. And in that moment, you realized that no matter how hard you tried, no matter how much time had passed, you couldn’t outrun the reality of who you were without him.

The tears you had cried over the months were gone. They had dried up long ago, leaving behind a hollow ache that never quite went away. You had mourned, you had grieved, you had forced yourself to believe that you were okay. But seeing him here, so effortlessly existing in this world without you, reminded you of the raw emptiness you had never been able to fill. You had learned to live with it, to carry it, but now it was suffocating you again.

“Hey,” he said, his voice warm, but it sounded distant, unfamiliar. It was like hearing a song you once loved, but now couldn’t quite recognize. He had always had this soothing presence, this way of making everything feel okay, but now it was like he was a stranger, and you were a stranger to him too. The distance between you wasn’t just physical. It was a chasm, an expanse of time and memories that had faded into something unrecognizable.

“Hey,” you whispered back, your voice shaking despite your best efforts to stay composed. You forced a smile, but it felt fragile, like it might shatter if you moved too suddenly. You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t know how to explain the confusion that was clouding your mind, the whirlpool of emotions that threatened to pull you under. You wanted to be calm. You wanted to be strong. But the truth was that you were neither of those things.

You had spent so much time trying to convince yourself that you had moved on, that you had rebuilt your life, but now, standing here, you realized how fragile that belief had been. How hollow it had become. You weren’t okay. You were lost.

In that moment, you understood something you hadn’t fully grasped before: You weren’t just grieving the loss of him. You were grieving the life you had once lived. The life that no longer made sense. The life you had tried to rebuild, but had somehow never quite fit. You had spent so long trying to outrun the pain, trying to find a new path, but you never stopped to ask yourself if that path was even real. If it was you.

The truth hit you like a punch to the gut. You weren’t fine. You weren’t okay. You were lost. Lost in the confusion of who you were without him, lost in the disorientation of everything around you changing, shifting, while you were still standing in place, stuck in the wreckage of everything you had lost.

You looked at him again, his eyes soft, searching, trying to make sense of your reaction. He couldn’t understand. How could he? How could he possibly understand what it felt like to have everything you thought you knew about your life turn upside down? How could he know what it was like to feel like you were drowning, to feel like the world was moving forward while you were stuck in the past?

You wanted to say something. You wanted to tell him that you had tried to move on, that you had tried to be strong. But the words wouldn’t come. Instead, you stood there, the confusion swirling inside you, making it impossible to find your footing. You wanted to be someone else—someone who wasn’t standing here, feeling the weight of this disorientation, someone who wasn’t trapped in the echo of a past that would never be again. But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t escape what had been.

No, there were no more tears left to cry. But there was something else. A quiet devastation, a hollow ache that had followed you through the months, that still clung to you even now. It wasn’t the same kind of pain as before. It wasn’t sharp. It wasn’t fresh. It was something heavier, something that weighed on you, something that made it impossible to move forward, impossible to let go. You couldn’t outrun the past, couldn’t escape what was still lodged deep inside of you.

You couldn’t outrun him.

[mocchiixxx]

My Chaotic One and Only

(Dino x Reader )

Genre: Fluff, Comedy, Pure Chaos, Wholesome Love

Summary: Dating someone who embodies all twelve of his hyungs is something Dino never saw coming. One moment she’s scheming like Jeonghan, the next she’s tripping like Mingyu, then she’s suddenly a deep philosopher like Wonwoo. Dino is exhausted but also deeply in love.

Dino had always thought he had enough on his plate being the youngest in SEVENTEEN. He had twelve hyungs to keep up with, twelve different personalities, quirks, and ways of teasing him.

And then he met you.

His lovely, amazing, unpredictable girlfriend.

Who, somehow, embodied all twelve of his hyungs.

It was both a blessing and a curse.

"Jagi, what are you doing?" Dino asked cautiously as he walked into the practice room.

You were sitting on the floor, looking way too smug for his comfort. "Nothing~"

His eyes narrowed. "Nothing, Jeonghan-style nothing or Woozi-style nothing?"

You pouted dramatically, leaning back on your hands. "Why do you always assume I’m up to something?"

Dino sighed. "Because you always are."

Before you could protest, you suddenly tripped over your own foot while standing up, barely catching yourself in time.

Dino blinked. "Mingyu. That was so Mingyu."

You huffed, flipping your hair. "That was just a moment of weakness."

Dino crossed his arms. "Like the time you accidentally ordered twenty drinks because you pressed the wrong button on the app?"

"...That was also a moment of weakness."

"Or when you got super emotional over a movie and started quoting poetic lines like you were Wonwoo in another life?"

"Okay, fine," you admitted. "But at least I’m cute."

"Hoshi," Dino muttered, shaking his head.

You grinned. "Fine. You want cute?"

Before he could react, you started dancing right there in the practice room, switching effortlessly between different SEVENTEEN choreographies, adding dramatic poses, and even throwing in some extra finger hearts like you were on Going Seventeen.

Dino groaned, covering his face. "How do I date twelve people at once?"

You giggled, hopping over to grab his hands. "Easy. You just date me."

He peeked at you, lips pursed. "And suffer?"

You pouted, looking up at him with big eyes. "You love me, though."

Dino sighed in defeat, already feeling his heart melt. "Yeah, yeah, I do."

Satisfied, you pulled him into a hug, rocking him side to side. "Don’t worry, love. Even if I act like them sometimes, you’re the only one I belong to."

His arms tightened around you, a soft smile forming on his lips. "Good. Because I don’t think I could handle another version of you."

You gasped. "Rude! I’m the best girlfriend ever."

"The most chaotic girlfriend ever."

"And?"

Dino laughed, leaning down to press a quick kiss to your forehead. "And I wouldn’t change you for the world."

Even if dating you sometimes felt like dating an entire group.

Author's Note: Okay, I officially lost my mind while writing this. Are you weirded out yet? Just saw it in my drafts🥹

[ooooo-mcyt]

Sometimes I see people pose the question of whether Scott gives to others because he cares about them, or out of selfish desire, because it in some way benefits him to do so- and a lot of times this is posed with this implication that he's being manipulative, lying, or using people. But I think this is a false dichotomy and I find it a bit ludicrous.

Scott Smajor is kind, he's generous, he's fun and he's giving and he loves his friends so much. He cares, genuinely and deeply about people, he doesn't give up on them, he makes them feel special because they are special to him and he wants nothing but joy for them.

Scott Smajor is also a person who desperately wants control over his life, and in many ways, being diplomatic and giving helps him achieve that, which I'm certain is an underlying motivator, especially given his past experiences with immense loss and lack of control.

This is not bad. This is not immoral. This is not evidence he's in any way 'lying' or 'manipulating' when he claims to give out of love.

It's very human to want to act in a way that will give you personal agency and minimize the likelihood that you'll be hurt. Having personal desires doesn't mean you're dishonest or evil, and it's not a 'lie' or 'manipulative' to do good and generous things without being 'pure enough' while you're doing them.

It rubs me the wrong way when people view any evidence of Scott having motivations that aren't completely purely 'selfless' as a betrayal or moral fault, a sign of inherent corruption and deception, instead of just human nature.

Ironically, I think this- the concept of purity- is one of the things Scott himself struggles with immensely.

One 'rule' of Scott's character for me is that he will typically not allow himself to do something if he cannot justify it as being 'correct' (i think Scott sees 'correct' as anything that contributes positively to peace, safety, cleanliness, or moral standing of himself and his group). Scott will, in many cases, actively withhold his own desires, even if they're broadly non-harmful, and will actively do things he doesn't seem to want to do because they are 'correct' to do.

Scott, in many ways, finds stability and safety in repression, in fixating on purity of thought, action, and motivation, as if he feels it's necessary to avoid bad things happening to himself or his loved ones.

But that's not true. When people say Scott is 'selfish'- with the implication that he's manipulative- for having non-selfless motivators, that's wrong, and when Scott himself believes he's obligated to meet a standard of moral purity, that's wrong too.

The thing I think Scott actually needs to learn, the main 'flaw' I think he has in many ways, is that 'purity' doesn't exist, and that being a human being with human desires and motivations is good. It's okay to want things, it's okay to desire things for reasons that aren't 'selfless', it isn't deceptive, or manipulative, or wrong, you aren't a bad person, nor will the world end, if you fail to please someone, or if you want to keep something for yourself, or if you have desires that are just about you and nobody else.

Being a good person who loves the people around you and having 'selfish' personal desires are not mutually exclusive.

(half of this is actual character analysis and half of it is me working through my ocd through scott smajor. i have not slept in like twenty eight hours sorry for the current posting quality.)

[helliloveit]

Living Room Flow

This was kind of a disaster, longer than i thought it would be, but i like it. I don’t know if Frank is mean mean in here, but whatever this is i live for it. Feedback is always welcomed, kisses. English is not my native tongue.

Frank Castle x f!reader

Warnings: mdni, +18, Mean!Frank (half) he softens as the writing progresses, brat!reader, cop!reader, situationship, spanking, cursing (Frank is a sailor), smut with a plot(?, angst, rough, not a full happy ending.

W.c: 3.2k

Summary: It’s been a complicated day, you are not the best version of yourself, Frank isn’t patient with you this time. You don’t complain even if your feelings get in the way.

You hear the roaring of his truck outside the house and that made you jump over your seat in the couch. Yes, you had a dense afternoon, everything felt suffocating, your job that, thankfully you got out of early today left you with a bunch of tasks you even didn’t know how to start with. The fun thing is that every single friday is like this, and every single time of these Frank went even more bossy than he already is.

He is not your boyfriend, no, there is no love in the way you treat each other, you let him toss around your papers files as long as he offers you some protection, a deal.

Yet, you can’t deny he is sort of endearing, since you have nice amount of time knowing each other, besides the rare ‘friendship’ you had built, he stealthily made his way inside your life, your actions and your decisions in order to: “Ya needa be wise in this, anything you do wrong its a fuckin’ rope around ya neck.” Or whatever he says. Doesn’t matter how many times you roll your eyes, he’s right, being a detective in this city is not merely safe or fair.

Is not fair when you have to read and read and whatever conclusions you get with are rejected because there’s not enough proofs, even if you explained every detail thoroughly, a week of work, all destroyed in front of your face, and that’s exactly what happened to you today.

Something worth adding is that recently he drove his way into your desires too, you don’t even remember when it got to a breaking point, the only thing you know is that Frank carved his name with flames on the skin of your abdomen, he left you like a puzzle’s abandoned piece and you're sure you'll never find a half that fits you like he does. You are screwed. So much more when you realize his sex drive its lower than your willings to work, and that’s bold statement.

That’s also the reason of your bitterness, let’s be clear, you are not sweet, even less with Frank, that man has a sharp tongue, and he does use it. But today, you got to admit you were insufferable. So much that Frank better left the hustle for later, he could handle your back handed remarks, your disdainful looks too, but don’t you dare pushing him or swatting at him for tell you what is right.

The spare key jingles, then he enters the warm illuminated living room as you watch him from your place accommodated on the maroon sofa, the atmosphere grows heavier by seconds, the scowl of his face looks deeper and his movements determined, the creak of the wooden floor under his boots combined with the rumbling of the tv are playing an extra number on your anxiety.

— “You got the files, do you?” His harsh voice vibrates through the upholstered walls then your ears.

— “Yeah, they are in the kitchen aisle.” Your response comes out dry.

He looks back at you confused, where he’s standing he can clearly see the kitchen aisle… empty.

On Frank’s side, if he says he’s not upset with you, that’s pure bullshit. Already lost 5 of his seven patience bars trying to work along with you. And the way you inhale deeply and stand up from the cushions to stamp the documents where they are supposed to be, he already lost two more.

He leaves his jacket on the rack besides the entrance and walks down the little curve to the marbled surface. He exhales stressed when he finishes to read all the titles and none of them are the ones he needed.

—“Sweetheart… i know you are pressed but,” he raises the papers, kind of excusing himself, even if he’s tired of your attitude he doesn’t want to make you sicker.

—“These are not the ones i asked for.” And he attached to his very submissive tone.

That didn’t had any effect on you though, you went back, snatched the goddamn sheets out of his hands, checked for the right name and threw the new folder over the aisle again.

—“Let me know if you want me to read ‘em for you too.” You rumbled annoyed as you turned around to go away.

Hollow silence fills the space.

—“Hah, you little fuck. You stop right there.” It didn’t came out loud, if you wasn’t so attentive at his reaction you wouldn’t have noticed. You look back disgusted, who does he think he is to command you like that? You scoff and keep your tracks and that’s when he raises his voice.

—“I said stop right there, y’ didn’t hear me?” It was too much for you, you weren’t exactly obedient but for whatever reason you froze not so far from where you turned your back at him. You hear him walk, his heavy steps reaching you, suddenly your head feels heated, you love the thrill, and he always knows how to deliver it perfectly.

—“The fuck is wrong with you now, huh?” He lowers his head to get to your eye level. “That attitude is gonna get you places.” He slowly says as his arms rest behind your sides, grasping the cold aisle behind you, one of his hands moved to your face, fixing your jaw in his direction, dwarfing it in his pretty big extension.

—“Think you can blame your pent up frustration on me.” He nods slowly, analyzing every feature in you, something he’s pretty good at.

—“Let go.” You cling to the last bit of rebellion left in your body, lift your chin and slap his hand away with a curse, he backs up, chuckling. Oh, he’s amused. And you’re not sure if he likes the challenge or simply is hilarious to him to witness how deep into the trouble you are getting.

Your breath is growing faster and everything but steady, your hands cold, all of it provoked by the way he’s glaring at you, if you didn’t know him the way you do, you were sure he would be plotting your murder. Frank is one to intimidate people but that’s not quite what is happening to you now, you hate when he hovers over you and slightly tilts his head, even more when he is almost smirking thinking he has you wrapped around his finger.

And maybe he’s right because you kiss him.

Is not the first time it happens anyways, you fist the fabric of his henley, giving a fuck if it’s ruined by the time he needs to get home, you’re pouring every emotion in it and he knows, he pleases you, he lets you climb and tangle around him, press your torso at his firm one, yes, but he is not satisfied, not with the way you had treated him the whole day.

When you take a break he slightly pushes you back from your neck, your hands travel down his chest by the distance.

— “What is it now?” You ask hazy.

—“What it is now? Baby are you aware of the way you had talk to me?” You frown, of course you had been such an ass today but, he can’t deny you a good shake off, right?

—“But-” you start to display your best puppy eyes, he doesn’t let you finish though, you are looking at his own dark gaze until the clink of his belt draws you away from your trance.

—“Nah nothing sweet. Turn around.” The way he plays the the piece of leather off has you pretty distracted.

—“We can talk it over Frank.” He clearly hears the desperation in your voice, whether he wants to calm it is another matter.

—“Oh, we can talk it over now? That’s new.” His hand spins your shoulder until your back is a few inches away his chest, pushes your blade until you feel the cool surface breeze your nipples through the thin fabric of your old tank top.

At this point the anticipation have you teary eyed, you look back at his frame, it is so broad, he is so heavy in his presence it makes your back get goosebumps, even more so when he lifts up the hem of your top to look at it, he made it clear a few times, he loves your back, specifically how it arches when he caresses at your skin with his rusty palms.

The soft interlude ain’t last long.

Both of his hands tugs at the waistband of your sweatpants, so fast the panties get trapped in the motion, leaving you bare, he spreads your cheeks revealing your glistening parts for him to drool at them, he’s dying to bury his mouth in it but he won’t be nice, even if it gets to him more than it gets to you. He clicks his tongue.

—“I don’t think you get a release tonight, too bad for you.” He caresses your slit from start to finish, eliciting a shudder from you.

—“Frank please it’ll be good next time, make me feel good please, i swear.” You rise enough for his stubble to tickle at your temple, you wish you could melt in his body, all you need is a little bit of love and correction, also him to give you what you want.

It aches, he aches, doesn’t like to tell no to his pretty girl.

He hesitates for a few seconds, he needs you too, he feels it burn inside his core. Sadly, He’s a man known for his resilience.

—“Don’t wanna hear a single whine from your lips from now on.” He groans with wet lips in your ear, you’d have clenched your already soaked pussy if he hasn’t pulled your hips back and made you bend over again.

Suddenly you feel his fingers pressing the back of your neck against the gelid material you are lying on. Before you can protest a gasp leave your lips when instead of the leather of his belt a hand lands harshly on your ass, loud and painful.

He always preferred the traditional way.

—“Count five of those for me.” And it’s the shame to be so easily dominated. Subdued not only to his but your own body, you crave him.

—”Fuck you.” You try to wriggle his grip out uselessly, tears already streaming down your cheeks, you are always so brave it plays against you.

You yelp when your hair is pulled by his thick fingers, your neck sting at the forced flexion, and he hovers down to the shell of your ear again, squeezing your body under his, that’s when you notice his hard bulge against your messed folds, he’s as bad as you.

—“You can’t help yourself, can you? Why don’t you count ten instead, it’ll help you ease.” He surprises you with another hard spank.

By the time he has 5, you are sweating, biting your lips so your neighbors don’t have to deal with the consequences of your bitchy behavior too.

—“Ten.” You count anticipating the rough slap, but nothing comes, you look back timidly over your shoulder. He feels his cock twitch at your helpless face. Wet and colored cheeks, those eyes, god, you look like you haven’t been the most prolific brat for the past eight hours, almost like he is punishing you for your mere existence.

Tender strokes covers your manhandled cheek.

—“I think we can leave it like that. It’s been enough for you.”

Oh no, you don’t want to stop, you desperately look for his hand and grab it, leading its travel all over the side of your torso to your tit, you coax a squeeze out of his hand pressing over it. Your eyes enough of a message, a silent plead. His own mind liquid with lust.

—“Such a needy girl.” Frank lowers his head to merge in a tender kiss, your whole body is throbbing, the wet sounds of the smooch traveling right down your clit. You swear he reads it through you cause his point and middle fingers came down to indulge you, everything feels impossibly hotter, if hell has a nice place, this should be it.

The kiss doesn’t stop, and when it does Frank is all over your face, painting it with wet kisses and sweet praises you know you don’t deserve. He keeps rubbing it slowly until he decides it’s enough not for you but him and takes off your sweatpants that, at this point, where further down your shins.

He unbuttoned his pants earlier, predicting the big bother they would turn out, it wasn’t very useful after all, he tugged down the elastic of his boxer along his jeans, you glance down his girth, the tip coated in a wet deep pink.

—“Open up for me baby, would you?” You nod eagerly but he does it for you, rising one of your legs up to his shoulder since you are on your side, he slides part of his forearm down your other knee, guiding it to rest around his hip.

His entrance not so complicated since your wet and slippery like that, the soft sting making you back up a little but he holds you steady, a palm anchored between the crease made of your abdomen and thigh, doesn’t waste his time, coating his thumb in your slick to circle on your swollen bud with the right pressure to make you squeal.

He recognizes when it’s too much for you, eyebrows scrunched and incoherent whimpers, even more now that you are bouncing so much by the force of every thrust he gives you.

He hits that spot over and over, it is so intense you feel the need to grasp onto something but there’s nothing to hold onto, you’re high, sweaty, head lulling until you fix on him, he’s concentrated, grunting over the way you make him feel, burying his fingers in the soft of your skin, and he’s drunk, glaring at you though hooded eyes, god, you’re close, you feel it like a effervescent pill, pushing its bubbles to the surface.

You’re are good at recognize when it’s to much for him too, the disorganized rubs over your clit make you clench on him repeatedly, you would laugh at his efforts to hold together if you weren’t so down bad yourself. His red cheeks, his red chest too, that vein he has on the left of his neck which seemed even more noticeable when was close.

—“Coating me so freaking good baby just keep it like that.” It came out hushed, and you don’t really know if it was the surprise or the shame at his words that shoved you straight into a catastrophic fall beyond the border, but you came, and you came hard, like an implosion, constricted inside of you, throat wrapped on itself.

He did the same, the pulses of your walls swallowed him, and let’s be honest, there was no more bearing left inside of him. His last thrusts came along with loud pants, leaving all his seed in your insides.

Soft strokes of his thumb on your belly were the stimuli which dragged you out of the cloud nine bliss. His head resting near the creek of your neck, his warm breaths over your skin sweet-talking you to doze off.

Your hand found a nice place on his head to scratch, his hair not long enough to tangle but to hide your fingers.

—“Hey, message from earth to the space, are you alright? Do you copy?” Following that, you feel the low rumble of his chest, at least he wasn’t that ‘mad’.

—“Yeah, i’m near the moon now, over.” A chaste kiss is left on your cheek as he raises himself from you. You blush.

—“Agh Frank, that was so corny.” You fake annoyance, the little pull of the corners of your mouth sells you out.

He disappears into the darkness of your hallway. You take the break to get up from the rigid marble table, realizing how much you needed that. After a satisfying stretch, you take your panties off the floor putting them back on you, and serve two glasses of water.

As you engulf your own, you hear him come back stepping more than needed in your leaving room, he drinks the glass you left for him and you turn around to see. You know you shouldn’t feel puzzled by it but you really thought he would stay the night.

Jacket on and his disheveled hair gone, you find yourself astonished by the way the rough angles of his face seemed to soften in such private moments, specially now that his features casted drastic shadows, evoked the looks of a skull, so severe, so stern, is like nothing happened.

You lay your back on the chilly plastic of your fridge, glass is still in hand.

—“Hey, you know you don’t need to leave? It’s pretty late and cold outside, i know you give a fuck about risky so i’m im not bringing that up.” You taunt him, he’s flipping through those goddamn papers again. Finally, he finds what he was searching for. He folds them and buries them in his pocket.

—“Work needs to be done.” And he’s using that cold edge to his voice. It shrinks your heart, but it doesn’t matter, what you feel, it doesn’t.

—“Yeah, whatever,” you do a brief pause, noticing the fidgeting of his fingers, he’s always anxious, despite knowing each other for so long, you can’t entirely read him the way you’d like.

—“I’ll close the door for you.”

—“I have keys y-”

—“Yes Frank i know you do, i gave ‘em to you, c’mon.” You walk down the main door again, the breeze of the night wrapping your bare legs which he is covering with his frame.

—“Take care Frank, i don’t want to stitch your ass together for the hundredth time.” It is a constant struggle, every time he goes away you live it as if it were the last time, it could be both death or the bitter realization that perhaps you weren’t as useful to him, not as relevant as you think you are, both reasons could take him away from you, although you never had him in first place.

You meet his eyes, he was already looking at you, he is pondering something, gears turning in that head of his.

—“Don’t worry about that,” Suddenly he wraps an arm around your waist, hugging you close enough to peck you on the forehead.

—“Y’know you ain’t needa worry ‘bout me.” He caresses the small of your back, you wish he was easier to convince, at this point, and with a lot of persuasion, he’d be happily sleeping on your bed.

You find yourself hugging him tighter, inhaling the scent of his clothes until you let go, your eyes shimmer with something raw, a fresh cut of your vulnerability, he’s aware, he kisses you on the lips, useless like a band-aid on a broken bone. There is no more he can do, regardless. Once you close the door, you are left with the frigid air lingering in your living room.

It’s not that late for a few tears and a couple of wine glasses.

[currentloser]

Signed, Sealed, Yours

pairing: yandere! kwon ji-yong | g-dragon/reader word count: 4220 tags: emotional manipulation, controlling behavior, overall just typical yandere love interest warnings summary: sequel to There was no other choice. After agreeing to be his, he takes you out to a date to seal the deal between the two of you. His plans are interrupted by your old friend.

( ao3 ) • part 1 • part 2

Caressed by someone utterly obsessed with you never felt as reassuring as the night had enveloped you. Entirely forgetting half-asleep promises as you slept, you clung close to the man in front of you. Ji-yong, unbeknownst to you, remained awake and watched as you slept. He gently ran a hand over your back, soothing you to keep you asleep.

His plan worked out so well, to have you right where you were always meant to be: in his bed, cuddled up to him.

Just as quickly as sleep took you, the world announced itself as light teased your eyelids. The warmth around you is familiar, though it was wrong in a way your sleep-fogged mind couldn't quite place. You're surrounded by the musky and familiar scent of laundry and Ji-yong’s cologne. The weight beside you shifts slightly.

Your breath stilled in response, waiting for him to speak first. The night prior was still tugging at the edges of your mind, mixed memories of what really happened and whatever was a dream. His arm is still wrapped around your waist, loose but all-encompassing. He was close enough you could feel his slow, steady breath tease against your shoulder.

It almost humored you the man was somewhere halfway in between caressing you and being caressed. You should've been shocked to wake up in such a state, but you were only met with a dull, creeping discomfort.

“You’re awake,” He murmurs, his voice rough with sleep in a way that makes you shiver.

Emboldened by your proximity, he pulled away enough to watch you as his fingers pressed against your side. Testing your reactions, to see if now that you were aware you would pull away. You should, but his voice is so gentle it makes you hesitate. Your stolen phone and flooded apartment were all distant thoughts now.

“Sleep well, jagiya?” The pet name rolls off his tongue easily, as if it's something he’s called you for years rather than something that had just started.

Those memories teasing came to the forefront- his low voice whispering to you. His hands guiding you to the bed, and the exhaustion of the day prior weighing you down until you agreed to something you couldn't understand yet.

“I-” Your voice strains, your throat feels dry.

His arm tightened around you, just enough to remind you of where you were. In his grasp, that you were his.

“No take-backs,” Ji-yong leans forward, humming as he buried his face in your hair and breathing in deep, “You already said yes.”

A shiver crawled down your spine in response. It wasn't teasing how he usually seemed to be, it rung true. It wasn't a trap, he had already succeeded and won. You force yourself to breathe in deeply, feeling how the air filled your lungs. You tried and failed to will your body to move, to do anything but lie with him and pretend like it was all normal.

Ji-yong moved first, his hand smoothing over your arm. His hand circles around your wrist and brushes over you in small circles. It's slow and sweet. You could fool yourself into thinking he'd done it a hundred times before.

“No need to rush,” His voice is sweet as it always is yet seems to curl around you like a silk ribbon tying tighter, “You don't have anywhere to be.”

You blink hard, “What?”

“You heard me,” He pushes back and leans against his balled fist to watch you, his eyes soft though his gaze didn't leave yours.

“I… Ji-yong, I have to-”

“No, you don't.”

He speaks with a tone of finality, no room for doubt in his tone. This fight was seemingly settled, and your stomach twisted. Your face screwed up in confusion, pawing your pockets for your phone he's taken hours ago.

“My job?”

“Handled,” He murmured easily, as if he was speaking about a dinner reservation, not your entire life.

Your mind scrambled, your breath caught in your throat, “What?”

“I took care of it,” His finger curls on the sensitive skin inside your wrist, grounding you to the moment with him, “I told them you'd be taking a leave. Since you're staying here, it's for the best.

The cogs are turning in your head, struggling to form a response. He notices. The flicker of shock on your face, your lips parted. There’s a glint in his eyes in response to you, satisfied at your silence. Pleased, he strokes his hand over the back of your head as if you were a pet.

“You…” Your voice falters, balling up your fists.

“Mm,” He titled his head slightly, “You're not upset, are you?”

His voice is soft- like he truly cared. The answer didn't matter though, not when it was already done. The decision to quit your job and move in with him was never up to you. All the questions forming in your head tried and failed to surface as Ji-yong patiently looked on, merely waiting for you to catch up.

Your voice is quiet but edged with disbelief as you finally manage to speak, “You told them I was taking a leave? That I quit?”

He nods as if it's nothing, “You needed a break anyway, don't you think?”

You should tell him that wasn't the point. The decision to leave your job shouldn't be up to anyone except for yourself. You would've liked to argue he couldn't make these decisions for you. Yet, his expression remains so relaxed. An expression of a well-meaning friend- boyfriend? trying his best to do something good for you. His want to take care of you only makes it worse.

“I didn't agree to that,” You shake your head, the fog of sleep that clung to you finally began to clear.

Ji-yong smiles slightly, amused, “Didn't you?” He asked, finally letting go of you to pull away from you, “You agreed to be mine, you remember? That means I take care of you now.”

A shiver prickles down your spine, goosebumps raising yet again. The reality of last night finally sets in, hard. The scene of Ji-yong pestering you to agree to taking him meant you would take him as a partner. The idea of it sent butterflies in your stomach. Despite how straightforward he was, you had always seen him as a good friend.

He was always so caring- you couldn't fault him for taking such good care of you. Never having to work again, no life outside of him- was another idea entirely. Accepting him meant accepting the tendencies he showed.

“I still have a life,” You say, trying to remain firm.

“Of course you do,” He tilted his head, his eyes flickering with something unreadable, “I'm not keeping you from anything. I just want to make your life a little easier for you.”

Your breath catches as he shifts closer. Even though you had been practically nuzzled into him earlier, the close contact now was so different. His warmth pressed into you along with that clean and musky scent grounding you. His arm shifted again to your side, surrounding you completely with every part of himself.

“Ji-yong…” Your voice comes out slightly shaken.

“You don't need to worry about anything,” He tips his head to look down at you, or rather your lips before setting back to your eyes, “I'll take care of everything.”

His calm tone ends the conversation, It's much easier to relax into the idea of letting him take over completely rather than fight it. Your brain argues with how reasonable he seemed. How easy your life would become without work, without having to worry about taking care of your own place. With him as your partner.

His fingers leave a lingering warmth against your side as he pulls away. He sits up slowly, stretching out like a cat. He reached over to his nightstand. You're about to push yourself up when he glances back at you with a small smile, gently pushing back against you.

“No rush, stay comfortable,” He murmurs.

He speaks as if he's indulging you- handling whatever you needed. Your stomach knots slightly as he turns back to face you and sets it in front of you. A neatly folded outfit, perfectly arranged. The fabric is familiar, except this time it was because it was your own instead. Your mind struggles to catch up.

As you take it in your hands, Ji-yong finally moves to stand. You sit up after him, shifting the clothes into your lap as you consider it. He casually slides his hands into his pockets, quietly confident you would take it without question. Your fingers twitch in your lap, the weight of his gaze pressed down on you.

“My clothes are here,” You can't help the surprise that's laced in your voice, thinned out as you find it again.

Ji-yong’s gaze softens, “I had them brought over. I thought you'd be more comfortable with your own things.”

“You-” You shake your head in disbelief, “You went into my place?”

“It wasn't a problem,” He steps closer and brushed his knuckle against your jaw, “I don't want you worrying while you’re here.”

Your mouth feels dry. Your heart his hammering, but you can't force yourself to react. He's already smoothed over any argument you could've had, he thought of you. He did every part of this for you. Your clothes, your personal belongings removed from your space and placed seamlessly into his own.

A realization slid into place: there was nowhere to go back to.

“Your heart is racing, jagiya. Please don't get too overwhelmed. I just wanted you to feel at home,” His fingers trail down, pressing his knuckle against your pulse.

The words that were so carefully crafted curl around you so easily. You can feel yourself being spun into the spider’s web. His home had become your own. With yours lost to water damage, and your belongings in his own home? It was all you had left. Ji-yong watched with the patience of the man who knows it's only a matter of time before you can accept it, and understand that too.

“I-” You try to gather your thoughts, but Ji-yong is already shifting closer.

He hovers over you, his hand moving up to brush a string of hair behind your ear instead. His touch lingers against your cheek and his head remains tilted, moments away from a kiss.

His voice remains sweet, endlessly patient, “You're thinking too much.”

Ji-yong weighs you down, making it impossible to pull away now. The warmth of his presence never faded, or his sweet smile. The words settle over you like a blanket, soft yet constricting you.

He smiles, his fingers tracing along your jaw and tilting the bottom of your chin towards him, “Do you trust me?”

What's the alternative? Saying no? You wonder if it would matter, if he would even allow you to disagree with him. Your eyes flicker from his to his mouth, this moment caught up in your brain. Your childhood crush and how caring he was made this moment feel sweet instead of as dangerous as it was.

Ji-yong’s eyes are unwavering, “You don't have to answer now.”

When he speaks, you know it's another trap. Another way of dealing your fate that had already been decided when you'd agreed to stay with him for a night that turned to weeks. Now he owns your clothes, your life. You can feel yourself sinking into his trap.

“...I trust you.”

It's barely above a whisper. Even as you hear yourself say it, the words don't entirely feel real. Ji-yong’s expression shifts in an instant, a soft pride in his eyes.

He gives you a slow, pleased hum, “You're so good for me.”

Before you can process the heat quickly raising to your cheeks, he leans in and presses his lips to yours. His fingers trail up from your chin and threat into your hair, holding you in place. Savoring the moment of your admission, of succumbing to him. Sealing your admission with a promise.

He pulls away, still close enough to murmur against your lips, “See? That wasn't so hard, was it?”

He doesn't wait for an answer, all too aware that each step of his plan had you sinking deeper into his hold. He presses in again, soothing you over with another kiss. Slower, this time. You find yourself leaning back into him, your hand coming up to hold onto his.

His lips are soft, and his scent is warm. It felt like a dream to be kissing him on his bed, dizzying to be there with him. He finally pulls away, an easy smile still stuck on his face.

“Let's get you dressed,” He murmured, pulling back and guiding you off the bed.

You knew better than to disagree, not a suggestion but more of an order. You glance at him, grateful he's polite enough to turn away while you pull yourself into fresh clothing. You shift out of the bed and you pass by him, half expecting him not to catch you. Though of course he turned around to face you, still smiling.

He stepped behind you, placing his hand in the small of your back and guided you out of the bedroom. His touch was light yet unwavering. His home was quiet, the scent of fresh coffee and breakfast filled the air. Hunger twisted in your stomach as he lead you toward the table, pulling out your chair like the gentleman he was.

He didn't move right away, instead he remained behind you as his hands rested on your shoulders. His fingertips pressed down just enough to remind you of his presence.

“You trust me,” He murmured, more like a reminder. Before you could dwell on his words for too long, his fingertips pressed just a little heavier. He leaned in close enough to warm his breath against the shell of your ear, “So eat.”

It wasn't so much a command as it was a form of reassurance. Without thinking, you sat down and picked up your chopsticks to eat. You took a bite, unable to hide a pleased hum at the taste of it. Finally, Ji-yong moved and took a seat across from you, watching with quiet satisfaction as he ate with you.

Every part of this somehow felt natural. The subtle weight of his control was nestled into the smallest details. The food was prepared perfectly, your favorite. He even picked your comfiest clothing for you to wear, and how his touch lingered just a little too long. Instead of questioning it you happily ate the warm food, settling something deeper inside you long before the realization could set it.

The most dangerous part of this, it was all starting to feel good.

Ji-yong barely touched his own food, even as you finished your own. You managed a worried expression his way that he shrugged off easily. If he'd planned all of this so far in advance, you didn't doubt he would've eaten beforehand. The moment you set down your utensils he wiped his hands clean and pushed his chair back.

“We're going out.”

You blinked at him, processing the sudden shift as Ji-yong was already standing expecting you to follow, “Going out?”

Your world had shrunk down to the size of the apartment over the time you'd been here. It finally dawned on you how little you knew about the city beyond his doors. It would be silly to think he'd keep you held here. He was always one step ahead, anticipating your needs before you could voice them.

Ji-yong tilted his head and stepped closer, gently lifting is fingers to brush against your jaw, “I'm only taking care of what's mine. And you are mine, aren't you?”

All you could manage for an answer was a swallow and nodding as his thumb traced a slow path over the bob of your throat.

“Good,” He praised, pressing in against your windpipe gently before finally stepping back, “Do whatever you need to be ready in ten minutes.”

…

Even though you'd only been cooped up for a day, stepping outside felt jarring. The city was open and loud, Ji-yong walked beside you. His arm effortlessly guided you by the small of your back yet again with a quiet authority. If anyone saw the two of you, it would look comforting rather than an invisible leash tightening around you.

“Hmm,” His voice was smooth, his thumb ghosting against the fabric of your shirt, “You seem a little dazed. Are you alright?”

You forced yourself to blink, pulling yourself back to the world, “Yeah, it's just a lot to take in.”

“It's different when you're with me, is that right?” He chuckled, low and indulgent.

Before you could respond, a voice cut through the hum of the crowd.

“Oh my god, is that you?!”

Your heart stuttered, and Ji-yong’s hand didn't move.

Your friend was already approaching, eyes widening with surprise, “I haven't seen you for a while! You just vanished, I was starting to think you got kidnapped or something.”

They managed a light laugh, but their gaze still searched yours for an answer. Ji-yong is still perfectly still beside you, merely watching.

“So, who's this?” Your friend's gaze flickered toward him, politely curious.

“This is Ji-yong,” You said, your throat tight, “My… boyfriend.”

The title rolled off easier than you expected. His fingers pressed into your back. A soft touch tracing a shape in your back you vaguely recognized as writing a message: good,

Your friend smiled and bowed to him, “Oh, it's nice to meet you.”

Despite how polite he usually acted around strangers, he only gave a small nod of his head in response. It was far away from his 180 degree bow you would tease him for. He still smiled, warm and charming. Unreadable.

“Likewise,” He shrugged, smoothly.

For a moment, the conversation carried on normally. Your friend chatted about their day, about how they had been meaning to text you. You don't mention that even if they had, you wouldn't have seen it. Ji-yong remained an elegant shadow, his presence never faltering. As the conversation came to a slow, Ji-yong found an opening to change the game in his favor yet again.

“You must be very close,” He mused, “It's surprising they never mentioned you.”

“Oh, well… we don't text all the time or anything,” They admitted with a light shrug, their gaze flickering toward you, “It's been a while. Why don't we all get drinks, catch up properly?”

“Drinks?” His smile didn't falter, considering it for a moment, “That sounds perfect.”

You could catch what this meant for you- he'd lost control the moment your friend ran into you. This was a reestablishment of control, and you knew it immediately.

Your friend grinned, oblivious, “Great! There's a bar down here, cmon.”

The walk passed by with a blink, Ji-yong's touch never leaving you as you walked together. The bar was dimly lit, your friend walked ahead and picked a booth for you to join them. Beside you, your now-boyfriend took the lead and gave a little bow of his head and brushed your wrist, guiding you into the booth. He slid in beside you, caging you in and pressing close enough his thigh warmed the side of your own.

“What's everyone having?” Your friend barely seemed to notice as they waved down a server.

Ji-yong barely glanced at the menu, “They'll have what I'm having.”

They paused just a second before nodding, “Man, I can't believe this. I think I remember you now- you were the childhood crush, After all these years, you guys finally got together?”

He chuckled, leaning back slightly, “We were always meant to end up together, it was only a matter of time.”

Your friend didn't seem to notice how he easily spoke over you. Even when your mouth opened to answer he quickly took the opening instead. His army snuck underneath the table and traced patterns over your knee, hidden underneath the table.”

Your friend laughed, shaking their head, “I didn't think you'd be the type to settle down.”

“Oh, I haven't settled,” His gaze didn't waver, the patterns slowing, “I've just finally taken what's mine.”

Your breath caught. Heat ran to your face and your eyes widened in disbelief. Your friend glanced at you, tilting their head curiously. You didn't have the time to answer. Out of the corner of your eye you caught him leaning in closer.

“Don't you think so, jagiya?” He purred, his voice sickly sweet yet again.

You smiled nervously and you nodded, ducking your head, “Of course.”

In a different scenario you would've scolded him for speaking in such a way. Beneath the table, he squeezed your thigh in a show of approval. His hand slid up your thighs as your friend managed a laugh.

“Things have really changed,” They shrugged as your drinks were finally served.

“Not at all,” Ji-yong grins, glancing at you and letting his voice drop lower, “They've always been mine, it just took them longer to realize it.”

“I dunno,” They mused, tapping their glass, “They've always been stubborn as hell, couldn't tell them what to do if you tried.”

“Of course,” His voice remained smooth, “That's what I love about them.”

You felt the shift in the air. The weight of his touch was firm, a silent warning to you. Your friend looked to you, searching for your own.

“I mean, you're still like that, right?” They asked.

Ji-yong traced one last thoughtful circle on your skin before slowly withdrawing. The absence of his touch felt louder than his presence.

“Of course,” You swallowed.

They held your gaze before finally knocking back their drink and leaned back, “Good. I'd hate to think an idol like him could get you wrapped around his finger.”

Ji-yong moved to wrap around your shoulders instead, pulling you in close to his side. “They know where they belong.”

As that seemed to stop that conversation in its tracks, the rest finally drifted to safer territory. The tension never fully dissolved, even as you finished your drinks. Your friend waved down the server, sliding their card onto the tray. Surprisingly Ji-yong didn't protest, watching with an easy smile as they covered the bill.

The night air as your group stepped outside was crisp. It was a welcome contrast to the warmth of the bar. Again, Ji-yong steps to your side and guides you effortlessly. The moment your friend turned to say their goodbyes, you felt the quiet search in their gaze. The unspoken question hanging between you.

“I know you've got my number, so don't be a stranger,” They waved to you, giving a polite bow.

“I'm sure they won't,” He smoothly interjected, “It was great catching up, but let's not keep each other out too late.”

Your friend offered one last smile, “Take care.”

The moment they turned away, Ji-yong exhaled softly. His touch didn't leave yours as he led you through the city streets back to his place once again. The long stretching silence of the walk sent an uneasy shiver through you. Once you were both inside, the doors closed, he finally spoke up again.

“They have no idea,” His voice was amused, taking your wrists and holding you there, “Still thinking they could pull you back. That all of it is an act, you're looking for someone to order you around properly.”

Your chest tightened as you glanced at him, trying to read the softness in his expression. His thumb pressed lightly against the center of your pulse before lifting the back of your hand, pressing a gentle kiss there.

“I hope you don't mind, but I won't let that happen,” He murmured, leveling his gaze toward you.

His expression was thoughtful, giving a quiet hum, “You know, on the walk I was thinking about what you said in there,” He turned your wrist, pressing another kiss there, “You agreed that you were mine.”

Your mind echoes the night before, that sleepy murmur. Then your date turned into an outing with your friend. Of course he wasn't going to let you take that back.

“Are you going to tell me you didn't mean it?” His tone is teasing, his free hand moving to tilt your chin towards him, “I know you did, and I know you still do.”

He leaned in close, his lips brushing yours for a moment before teasing over your cheek, “Say it again, without your sleepy mind, without your friend,” His voice is laced with a quiet satisfaction, “One more time, so I know you mean it.”

You wouldn't fight him. He'd already unraveled you, thread by thread. His careful, unshakable affection pushed you forward. You could try to push back, but as Ji-yong pulled away, you noticed Ji-yong was already smiling.

“I'm yours,” The words came out easier than you could've expected.

“That's my love,” He praised, satisfied him as you closed the distance and kissed you.

This kiss was different from those before. It was no longer a whisper of a touch, instead it was deep and claiming. The city lights kept shining, and the night passed by. There was no outside world anymore, though. 

There was only him and you.

taglist: @petersasteria, @sherrayyyyy, @loveesiren

[phantomofthemountain]

Hey, Hey. I Just Wanted To Give Love To All The Psychological Alterhumans Out There!

•I know how isolating it is to feel like even more of a misfit even when you're around people with the same condition(s) as you, because they just won't understand the more complex side effects of it.

•I know the pain of feeling like you're less valid because there's a possibility that you could be "cured" of your alterhumanity if your mental health got better. And how scary recovery can be sometimes out of fear you'll lose your identity. As well as the General struggle of trying to find professional help, but being too afraid to tell them about your identity out of fear they will try to "cure" you

•I know how hard it is to have to explain to people that your identity is just as real as other alterhumans. And I know how frustrating it can be to constantly have to remind people that you are not choosing this.

•i know how difficult it is managing species dysphoria AND mental illness all at the same time. How it feels like a never ending battle between your mind and body. And How awful it is to exist in society with a body that feels so deeply wrong, but being unable to acknowledge it.

•I know how conflicting it is to accept yourself when you know you're alterhuman because others made you feel inhuman to hurt you. And I know the fear of feeling like you're letting those that abused you win by feeling this way.

Credit: Istrandar - DA | Nimloth87 - DA

Whether or not you are alterhuman due to Trauma, Isolation, Autism, ADHD, Depression, Anxiety, OSDD/DID, Brainwashing, Abuse, Something Else Entirely, Or A Culmination Of A Lot Of Things. I Just Hope You Know That You Are Loved, You Are Valid, And I'm Glad You Are Here. Your Origins Do Not Have To Define You.

And hey, if you didn't align with everything or anything I mentioned here, you're still completely valid! All forms of alterhumanity are beautiful, and unique experiences with it are just as valuable as the common ones! Your voice deserves to be heard, and your story deserves to be told!

[kingdomhate]

Finding Out You're Pregnant Scenarios!

Anakin Skywalker: You both knew something was wrong when you would wake up at the crack of dawn, vomiting out the contents of last night's dinner, and when you would have mood swings like crazy. At first, you thought it was just a really gnarly stomach bug, but after your period had not come at all, you decided to get a pregnancy test.

You had already known the answer, as it was the most logical reasoning after you missed your period, but just to be sure, you took the test, waited and once the results came back positive, you were elated, in shock, and a little nervous. You didn't know how to tell him, and how you guys could manage take care of a baby what with him being a Jedi and constantly risking his life to protect the galaxy.

Nevertheless, the challenge was one you would accept for the sake of being able to bring in another life, one that you would no doubt love with all your being, and Anakin would as well.

"My love, have you thrown up any today? Fever? Have you eaten?" Anakin bombarded you with questions, concerned and on edge as he always was when you were under the weather. You shook your head, you hadn't thrown up yet and hadn't run a fever, but you had managed to eat earlier. "I ate earlier, Ani." You say softly, as he hugged you to his warm chest, his hands caressing your skin with ghost-like gentleness. "Ani, I.. I have something to tell you." You whisper against his chest, almost inaudible. "What is it, angel?"

His eyebrows furrow, and you can see his eyes harden a bit, protectively. He always assumed the worst.. "I'm.." You pause, taking a deep, long breath. Anakin's expressions grows more tense. "I'm pregnant. That's what the sickness was." You gaze into his deep blue eyes, trying to gauge his reaction as he became motionless after you spoke, no doubt processing or in shock. You searched for fear, hesitation, apprehension, anything, and as he blinked away the last remnants of his dumbfoundedness, he beams, the corners of his lips turning up into a wide grin. He was overjoyed.

Immediately, he kissed you deeply and passionately. When you both broke away, a bit breathless, he leaned to whisper in your ear. "That's awesome, sweetness. I'll be sure to give you and this child everything I have." He promised, kissing your ear and then your lips again. Safe to say, he did everything for you, not wanting you to overexert yourself, or the baby, whatsoever.

Luke Skywalker: Poor Luke, like his father, had thought you had caught something and couldn't stop himself from feeling worried as what started with complaints of not feeling well turned into morning vomiting, and times where he would run to the bathroom, after hearing your moans and groans of pain, to find you sitting by the toilet, curled into a ball.

He felt awful that there was nothing he could do, nothing that could soothe you from feeling horrible. Pretty quickly, you suspected it was pregnancy, and to confirm your suspicions, took a test. You stood in the bathroom, clutching your stomach as you waited for the results. As they came back positive, you were glad it was pregnancy and not something you had caught. Pregnancy with something both you and Luke wanted, talked about and tried a lot for, so of course he was simply overjoyed when you had told him the news. "Luke." You said, cuddled up to him in your guys' cozy, warm bed as he played with your hair and you absentmindedly stroked his skin, a gesture that soothed both of you. "Mm?" He said sleepily, clearly on the verge of dozing off.

"Get up for a second, baby," You tell him and reluctantly, he moves. You move to your side, grab something he couldn't see from the dresser and hold it behind your back. "I have a surprise for you." Luke's eyebrows furrow, confused and curious. When you pull out what you had been hiding, he stares at it blankly and then cries, pulling you into the longest and tightest hug you've ever experienced. It was a baby onesie that Aunt Beru had helped and taught you to knit. "Oh, Y\N! Y\N!" He sniffles, nuzzling into your chest as he hugs you tightly to himself. You chuckle, and hug him back, stroking his sandy locks as you smile to yourself, tears forming in your own eyes. "I know, I know..." You say softly, sniffling as well.

He pulls himself up, and you both gaze into each others eyes. You can practically feel the undeniable joy that is rushing through his veins, and he can feel yours. You both hug each other tightly again and kiss. You had both daydreamed of this day for God knows how long, and for it to actually happen feels like one of the most exuberant, emotional, surreal and awe-inspiring moments of your entire life.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Immediately, the two of you knew exactly what it was. Obi-Wan had known and seen the early signs of pregnancy many times before in the homes of galactic families he had visited and protected countless times for the Jedi Order, and you had familiarized yourself with it from reading books and talking to ladies with children.

Obi-Wan hadn't any words to describe how purely incredible the moment was, and what exactly on gone through his head as it was something that stunned him for a few moments, something that you both knew you wanted but couldn't expect happening. Of course the first thing he does is kiss you until the both of your lungs scream for air, and he whispers how much he's longed for this child, and thought of having a happy, sweet family with you, the love of his life.

"I will devote myself to giving you and our child what they deserve and everything your hearts desire. You absolutely deserve the galaxy, Y\N." He says the following night, a sincere promise deep in his eyes as he caresses your cheek and holds you close. "Obi, what more can I possibly want but just you and this child? I'm sure this child will be the light of our lives, and as long as we can remain happy together, than the galaxy means nothing." You say in return, kissing him deeply, pouring your emotions like liquid into that kiss, for him to feel as well as hear. Never wishing for anything more than happiness and love for the both of you, this child and the ones to come after if you both decide it.

[cosmichahn]

when candles burn out.

[ii. SUMMER]

abby anderson x scientist!reader

— 4 seasons with abby; seasons pass, feelings grow.

— notes: slight angst, reader being a bit anxious about the future, comfort!

It was hot. Boiling hot. The sun shone too bright, and you were all sweaty in your lab, feeling each trickle of sweat. You already took two baths today, and it's not even past 12 in the afternoon. Maybe you should have just slept early last night, or not have woken up at 5 in the morning.

The heat really took a number on you, but still, you proceeded with your work. As for today, you’re not working on chemicals since you don’t want to work around them with this heightening temperature; so you placed everything organized to the side and on its respective shelves.

“Ugh, this fucking heat.” You mutter under your breath. It’s not unusual, but it’s Summer, so of course it is. You grab a clean piece of cloth, wiping it on your forehead. Currently, you’re improving one of the long guns that you own. Focus remains on the weapon, being very careful as it is delicate, or at least to you, it is. “Just this-”

The door comes slamming open. “Oh, Jesus, fuck-” By instinct, you grab one of your pistols. “Scared me for a second.” You breathe deeply, losing your concentration.

It was just Abby. Right. Just Abby.

“Abigail, knock next time.” You scoff. “By now, you should know.” Back to the working desk, you shake your head, hearing a quiet apology from her.

After a few moments of silence, she breaks the tension in the air. “What are you upto?” Abby’s been noticing your behavior lately. You’ve been tense, somehow jumpy from time to time. Something is eating you up from the inside, and she doesn’t know how to address it.

You finish up one last kink before replying. “Just an upgrade. Boss says we have a mission up north, I should be prepared” The gun comes in full display in front of her. Newly polished, new features, a better scope.

“Yeah.” She purses her lips, both hands on the crafting table while you walk somewhere else in the room, looking at your stock.

“We gotta be careful. There hasn’t been an avalanche in a while, but it’s still possible.” You say, placing all the bullets in a holder, organized for each gun you got. Abby sits on one of the crates, your eyes follow her but you don’t. “I’m locking up.” You grab the keys from the desk. “Got scolded. I was caught up here at 5, but my excuse was the sun wasn’t up yet.” You chuckle, but she doesn’t budge.

Abby looks at you, her eyes saying something else. You feel a bit anxious about this. Have you done something wrong? You’re not sure. “Anderson, I’m about to go. You should too.” She nods and follows behind you.

“Hey, do you want to grab a drink?” She blurts out, and you stop walking so she can catch up. You raise  your eyebrow. “You’re tense. Well, a bit.”

“Guess I need to let loose, huh?” You rub your eyes. “I’m so tired though.” There’s a yawn that escapes your lips. “Maybe the alcohol would let me sleep better.” She finally lets out a positive sound, laughing. She’s laughing at something that you didn’t really intend for to happen, but you don’t mind. “My place is good.”

Your place is good, obviously. You reside in a room by yourself in one of the quarters. No roommates and such, so no one’s going to possibly judge you for drinking when the sun isn’t even down yet. An addition to that, you need something cold to drink just to cool off.

Somewhere, though not visible to all, you care about Abby. Everyone knows she cares for those she considers, and luckily, you’re one of them. Or grown to have become one of them. “Yeah, so my damn neighbors don’t judge the shit out of us.”

There’s a bottle of whiskey on your desk, with Abby bringing along some vodka that she managed to rummage from Manny. You’re sitting next to each other on the floor, leaning on the side of the bed. The drinks are in front of you, debating on whether to take shots or just take turns with the bottle; you both choose the second option.

“We haven’t hung out in a while.” She says, drinking from the bottle of whiskey, passing it onto you and exchanging it with the vodka.

“I know. I shut people out when it’s- I don’t know, something?” You shake your head. Feelings for you are tricky to articulate. “I guess I’m scared.” Something you’d admit had you been on the verge of death, but somewhere, unconsciously, you feel as though Abby would listen better than anyone can.

Abby nods, thinking before she speaks. “Is that why you’ve been huddled in your lab for weeks?” You nod in answer. She doesn’t say anything much, giving you the floor to talk.

“Supplies always run out. Raids always happen. Someone’s always in an accident. The infected bodies are mutating, it’s just never ending. Time’s shorter and it feels like I’m whisking it away burying myself in a laboratory.” You take a long drink from the whiskey bottle, wiping off the alcohol from your lips. “I love my job and my research, but what if I just end up dead somewhere with no one to mourn me but myself?”

She doesn’t say anything, waiting for you to look at her. “You’re forgetting that I’m here.” It’s so simple, and yet quietly in your mind, for once, you feel safe. “I’d mourn you.”

“I’d mourn you too, Anderson.”

i. SPRING ii. SUMMER iii. AUTUMN iv. WINTER