#i call them my littles sleep apnea

[medys-space]

Doodles with the cute little Peony of @lammydraws au (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)

[catreginae]

okay i really really want to start reading your vampire wars thing because first of all, im OBSESSED with the concept, and second, it just seems cool as hell, but i’ve been unable to read recently so i haven’t had a chance to get to it. ITS ON MY LIST THO 🙌🙌🙌

BUT I STILL WANNA KNOW ABOUT HIM HE SEEMS SO COOL. I don’t wanna ask annoying questions cos I feel like most of the one’s I have are things you’ve probably already answered haha, BUT TELL ME ABOUT UR SPECIAL GUY. Is there anything in particular you just really really wanna talk about? Any little details you’re really proud of that you want people to notice? Can he turn into a particularly fluffy little bat? If so would bat Wars appreciate head pats? Is there a specific vampire lore that inspired this?

-crazylittlejester

Sorry this took so long! This is the first ask I got after asking for them but it's the last I got to!

I think people realized these things but I’m going to talk about them anyway!

Warriors has bad self-esteem. He’s super protective of the others. He has the ability to regenerate, so it’s hard to hurt him in a way that actually matters. He can pretty much bounce back from anything. Anyway, all three of these aspects of Warriors feed into each other. He doesn’t care about what happens to him because he can regenerate. The pain is worth it if the others are safe. He thinks keeping the others safe by taking the really bad hits is how he’s earning his keep in the group because he has a hard time accepting that they actually like him for who he is. The others are working on it!

This boy is a pacer. When he’s restless and antsy, or hopped up on blood, he just starts pacing. He cannot help it.

Warriors is actually the sleepiest in the chain and beats even Sky. I headcanon Sky with sleep apnea (because of projection) but Warriors ends up sleeping the most because being half-vampire is actually really hard on his body. I like it imagine that sleep is the glue that keeps his Hylian half and vampire half together to make one mostly functional person. This is why he can pretty much fall asleep immediately if he’s injured but also had some blood.

The fluffy bat thing is a plan but hasn’t happened yet. It’s not a vampire thing in this AU (it is a nod to it at least?) nor is it his shadow crystal form. It’s wizzrobe bullshittery that he actually saw some use in so he begged Lana for some way to have regular access to a bat form. It’s probably some sort of jewellery. I wrote a very small snippet about Four throwing a tiny bat Warriors into the air to help him figure out lift. Of course, he’s a vampire bat because they can run on the ground and I think that’s pretty neat. Go look up a zoo feeding them blood, they just run on the ground and take little sippies out of a bowl.

And finally, the inspiration for this AU is a movie from the 80s called The Lost Boys. It inspired his appearance a little bit (he’s got the same yellow and red eyes). Lore wise, some of the abilities made it over but I used a lot of different inspirations for this AU and of course, I had to try to remix it fit Zelda too. The Lost Boys is the first inspiration though because I was in that rabbit hole when I wrote the first chapter.

[a-little-revolution]

Hi - I'm a relatively new follower, but I love the variety in what you put out.

I work in healthcare and regularly give talks on very basic disability concepts (why eugenics is wrong, how to get AAC access in hospitals, shut the hell up about parents' rights, don't use slurs in educational talks, etc.).

Is there anything you'd recommend specifically for doctors, nurses, and other care providers in terms of a) not creating problems, and b) actually providing quality healthcare for little people? Assume the target audience knows nothing.

Hello! Welcome!! Thank you so much, I try ^^

I gave a talk a while ago on trans inclusive healthcare, and included a lot of disability related things since there's plenty of intersection. As I'm sure you know, the medical system still has a long way to go when it comes to treating disabled folk (and frankly anyone who isn't a thin, white, cishet male).

With dwarfism specifically, the learning curve is astronomical - here's my thoughts: (And note, I am someone who's had roughly fourteen surgeries, countless scans, and endless doctors visits - so I think I can call myself an expert lol)

The first thing is just establishing basic knowledge on dwarfism - how it presents in a person, how it affects mobility and range of motion, what the terminology is etc. Knowing the related conditions is vital as well - my Achondroplasia for instance comes with sleep apnea, respiratory conditions, arthritis, club foot, loose knees, etc. I'm often the expert on my own condition, but I shouldn't have to be relied on as a teacher in traumatic situations.

Make waiting rooms, doctor's offices, surgical rooms, etc. accessible to those bellow 5 feet! Most of the time I cannot get up on an exam table as they are too high and I am not provided a stool without making a special request. The same goes for xray tables, gurneys, etc. I cannot express the frustration of coming into every medical room and not being able to sit or lay down without assistance.

Respect and autonomy are big things that get missed - assumptions that my life isn't worth living, that my pain isn't real, that I don't participate in daily activities, that I don't have sex or want children etc. are just some of the misconceptions I come across with medical professionals and their assistants. Last year during and x-ray was the first time a medical professional ASKED before touching me.

For now this is what I can think of, I thank you for your patience as I do have CPTSD from my medical trauma. I've talked more on being a patient with dwarfism here! Hope this helps!

-Elliot (they/them)

[mazzystar24]

https://www.tumblr.com/mazzystar24/753840651375869952/no-one-can-say-they-love-their-pet-more-than-me

this is literally eddie diaz if he had a cat

that man is so “yes im a cat dad, yes im allergic to cats, we exist” coded its not even funny

I actually am fully accepting this headcanon

Me and Eddie Diaz are like this🤞🤞🤞

Also a few things that I feel you’ll appreciate abt my cat and me:

• he runs out and when he comes back I’ll start calling him a little whore (affectionate)

• he’s a black cat (me and my family love black cats and my sister even has one) and a rescue and we got him like 9 years ago and his backstory is actually super sad, cos he is a black cat and like a straight haired cat and he doesn’t like other cats but loves people, when we went to get him the animal rescue had been planning on putting him down cos no one wanted him, like they booked an appointment for him and everything.

also the name they gave him was a character from game of thrones that was like the outcast and stuff (and they told us that was why they gave him that name) - he has a new name now dw 🫡

• I have a baby sister and she is OBSESSED with him but she’s only a year and half old so she gets a little OVEREXCITED and starts like happy screaming at him and like trying to “hug” him (grab his neck) or trying to play with him (throw her various toys at him) or share her food with him (run after him with tortilla chips while shouting the word she uses for food) and chasing him around the house and stuff like that (dw she never actually injured him and we try to stop her as much as possible and she’s getting better with it) and what you all need to give him virtual strokes over is that he is the most patient cat on earth and will like visibly stop himself from reacting and will instead go to somewhere she can’t reach if he gets fed up

• this is perhaps the cutest thing you’ll ever hear- so my baby sister has breathing issues (similar to sleep apnea) and so sometimes in the night she’ll stop breathing for a few seconds and when she does THE CAT GETS UP AND STARTS MEOWING NEXT TO MY MOMS HEAD OR LIKE WILL STAND NEXT TO THEM UNTIL MY SISTER IS ALRIGHT AGAIN

• also he loves her sm he keeps wanting to sleep and cuddle on her in bed but obviously that’s risky so he’s not allowed

Anyways all these things are reasons Eddie Diaz would love my cat and why me and my cat are Eddie and his fanfic cat coded, Thank you for coming to my ted talk🫡

Also in another life Eddie Diaz was a wlw and I will not take criticisms on that statement

[sirfrogsworth]

I know phone customer service people have to put up with a lot. And I always try to be kind and reasonable.

But sometimes people just suck.

I am trying to order new CPAP supplies because my mask broke and it is currently held together with duct tape. And it's been a while so they said they needed a new prescription. It would take two days to process it. So I called back in 3 days.

I get a new woman this time and she says I need "chart notes" along with my prescription. So I call my doctor's office and say I need chart notes. She says "okay" and I assumed she faxed them over.

I call the CPAP lady about an hour later and I ask, did you receive the chart notes? She says "yes" but it was not what she needed. So I ask, "Okay, can you tell me what chart notes are so I can explain what you need?" She just says again, "They are chart notes." And I'm like, "Okay, but can you give me an example of a note so I can explain it?" She responds, "No."

My phone anxiety goes to 11 at this point.

I explain that clearly the doctor's office lady didn't understand what was needed. So I need more information about what chart notes are. She once again repeats, "She should know what chart notes are. Just ask for chart notes."

ahhhhhhhhhhhh

"Okay, can you call the doctor's office and just ask for what you need directly?"

"I will not do that."

"Can she call you and ask what you need."

"No I will not talk to her."

I start crying out of frustration.

She let out an angry sigh that she clearly wanted me to hear.

"Look, she clearly made a mistake. People make mistakes. Just call her back and tell her to send chart notes."

I try to apologize for getting upset. I explain that I am not good on the phone and get anxiety. She gives another angry sigh. I say, "Look, I've called about 5 different people by now, I have a broken CPAP mask I need replaced and I am clearly not getting anywhere. All I'm asking is that you give me a general example of what constitutes a chart note so I can be assured when I call another person, I can give her the information she needs. Can you please just give me an example?"

FINALLY, she explains what a goddamn chart note is. She said it is doctor's notes talking about the CPAP machine and how it is benefiting my sleep apnea.

Was it really necessary to go through all of that to get that answer?

Then I call my doctor's office back and she says, "Oh, I haven't faxed that yet. It's buried pretty deep in your chart and it will take a little time to find."

So it turns out that entire phone call was unnecessary and the CPAP lady was incorrect about receiving a recent fax.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

There is a reason I have telephobia.

[basiccortez]

Goodnight, Baby - R. Abbott

note: just a cute little Rhett moment. It's actually from a prompts list called 50 wordlesss ways to say 'I love you' and I am tempted to bring it back again. . . also, my requests on this blog are open! read the pinned post for questions:) word count: 630 Rhett Abbott Masterlist

Rhett sighed as he walked into the house, quietly kicking off his boots. It had been a long day of working out in the hot sun, moving cattle and fixing the broken fence on the Abbott Ranch. He had sent you a text telling you not to wait up, that he would be home late. He hated not being home for dinner, or getting ready for bed. It sucked when it was just the two of you, now that there was a baby in the mix.

Jude Elliot Abbott had turned one a couple months, and Rhett felt like he had missed most of his life already. There were milestones that Rhett had missed due to being on the road for competitions or moving cattle. He hated it. You had told him over and over again that it was okay, that Jude wouldn’t even know the difference if Rhett was there or not. It still didn’t help Rhett feel any better. 

He moved around the kitchen quietly as he warmed up the plate of food you had left for him. He smiled at the new picture on the fridge that looked like Jude had drawn at daycare. The front of their fridge had become covered in pictures of Jude and them, pictures Jude had scribbled at daycare, or projects they had him do. Rhett cherished every single picture like it was a masterpiece.

When Rhett was done eating, he walked up the stairs quietly, looking at the various family pictures that littered the walls as he walked to the bedroom. He smiled at your sleeping frame as he moved around in the half lit room, taking off his clothes and putting on something more comfortable. He washed his face and brushed his teeth, and hung up the wet towels that you left on the floor after Jude’s bath. He walked over to you, and gently ran his hand over your hair, and leaned down and placed a kiss on your cheek. 

You moved slightly at the feeling of his body, and gave him a sleepy smile, “Mm, welcome home.” 

“Hi,” Rhett whispered and leaned back down to kiss your lips, “How was your day?” 

“Good. Jude drew a new picture at daycare.” 

“I saw. Might need him to draw my new base drum cover.” 

You let out a tired chuckle, “You eat?” 

“Yeah,” Rhett nodded, “Go back to sleep, I’m gonna go check on our boy,” You nodded and Rhett kissed your lips once more  before he walked down the hallway to his little boy’s room. 

His heart felt warm as he walked into the room, and could see his son’s sleeping face, with his thumb tucked into his mouth. Jude was fast asleep on his back, small little sighs leaving his mouth as he slept. Rhett crept over to his crib, leaning over it as he watched the little boy sleep soundly. He watched his chest rise and fall, still scared that he was going to have a lapse in breathing. Jude had finally grown out of his sleep apnea, but it didn’t stop Rhett from still being worried about it. 

Rhett sighed and leaned his head on his arms, closing them for a second when he heard Jude stir. Rhett picked his head up quickly and watched as the little boy moved around, readjusting to get more comfortable, and shifting the soft blanket that covered him. Once Jude was settled back into sleep, a deep sigh leaving his mouth, Rhett fixed the baby blanket, slightly tucking him back in. Rhett gently patted the back of his head, feeling his soft brown curls, and then leaned in to kiss his head. 

“Goodnight, baby,” Rhett said, and left the room to go lay down next to his wife.

-- -- --

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[salamanderinspace]

So tests came back and I do have "mild" sleep apnea, doc says, which apparently means I stop breathing 15 times per hour, and my pulseox goes down to 86. This all sounds pretty bad to me but I've been assured it's mild. At some point the cpap people are going to call me; I guess I get a free trial of the thing for 90 days. I'm pretty pleased about that.

I've been keeping busy this week, working a lot. I've gone to some museums and galleries, talked a lot, made connections. I have a show with my work opening Saturday night here, downtown. I'm making new work too, pretty furiously. It turns out I function very differently when there are not five dog walks and two dog feedings and constant dog "pay attention to me mommy" all day long. At first there was a sort of euphoria as the weight of all that came off my shoulders. Of course I do miss her. I cried so much when she passed that my electrolytes got all messed up and I had a seizure. I'm kind of expecting changes, health-wise, since my daily schedule is so different now. I can really get immersed in work. I can eat a big meal and then sit a few minutes without having to rush off and do the dog. I worry about losing any strength conditioning or fitness I might've gained from walking her, so I've added in more exercises. Overall though my attention span feels so much stronger than it was, now that I can actually make my own plans and do them without being responsible for a very social creature. And the cat is there when I want someone to fuss over.

And husband of course. He's a brick. There are many ways we make good partners. There is only one little piece of me that doesn't quite fit with him, that he doesn't particular want or need anyway. About a month ago I wrested that piece of me away from a place it has not been safe. I don't know if anything is changed, really. I don't like to write about her here because I know she reads this blog sometimes--seems tacky--but I write my feelings here for a reason. I like having a record. It makes things feel more solid. It makes me less alone with everything. And it being all in one place, organized, is helpful. Often I write things elsewhere and then find them, months later, completely having forgotten about them. Not this blog though.

One of the main diagnostic criteria of autism is adhering to rigid routines or repetitive thought patterns. This is not something I associate with me. I love adventure and change and challenge and pizzazz and variety and novelty. I need everyday to be different--I don't even like to eat the same foods. But with relationships, they sort of sink into me and stain deep. Maybe the impetus to write fanfiction comes from that same, "I'm not done with this yet" sort of feeling. Maybe it's a reluctance to trust something new. Most people don't let the deepest part of themselves adhere to just anything, just anyone… I feel like I pick people who are sometimes nice and sometimes mean. Complex. Disorganized. Skeptical. Intense. And overtime the niceness drains away as they come to understand and process who I really am. (just some guy.) (Just a lady.) (Pretty good at art and creative stuff.) (Incurably American.) (Paranoid millennial.) (Used to have a dog.) (Interested in science and politics.) (Chronically ill.) (Sleepy, but maybe that will change when they put the machine on my face.)

[hampop]

.

I don’t have anywhere else to vocalize this so. The birth process was traumatizing. I didn’t really want to induce but was told I should. Go in at 7am on the fifth and they give me pills to soften my cervix and I lay in a hospital bed for a full day while they monitor me and my son. That night my water breaks and they start me on pitocin to induce the labor.

I labor for 18 hours.

The contractions are inconsistent. Some are brief and others long. Most are very painful. Every couple hours a nurse comes in to check my cervix which hurts unimaginably. I find out each time I’ve only dilated a little bit, much slower than they’d like me to be. I am in a dizzying pain, I ask for an epidural way sooner than I wanted to. The entry point is in my spine. My husband holds me while I cry like I haven’t since I was a baby and a whole team of nurses coaches me through to pain. Epidural kicks in. I feel ok for a while. Catheter gets put in. Nurses realize I’m not creating urine. They encourage me to just drink more water. I labor another several hours. No one says anything to me about what is going on behind the scenes—that my kidneys are experiencing acute trauma due to lack of water, that my body’s sodium is fucked. I’m crying and shaking and at 10pm on the second night the doctor comes in and tells me that my body rejects pitocin and has been sending fluid to other parts of my body as a reaction. They have been speculating what is wrong with me for hours, knowing something was wrong but not what. Multiple doctors across the country are contacted. They turn the pitocin off after nearly 18 hours of it. The doctor tells me the pitocin isn’t working and my baby isn’t going to be born naturally and that we need to get him out asap or we might both die. I agree to the c section. I didn’t want one, but I had to have it. They still call it elective and not emergency.

I am wheeled into a sterile white room, crying, while a team of surgeons preps for the surgery. I weigh too much. I, still experiencing labor pain, have to roll myself onto the operating table. They strap me down. I don’t get to see my husband for a while. They start giving me drugs to numb me from the neck down. This makes my lungs go numb. I have to actively try to breathe. My husband comes in and holds my hand. I can’t breathe. They put an oxygen mask on me. I vomit into it. I can feel them cutting me open though I don’t feel the pain. I vomit three more times. They deliver my baby and I start sobbing at his cries and I can’t touch him because my body is numb. My husband leaves my side to tend to the baby and is excitedly giving me information while I continue to vomit. They give me a drug to knock me out entirely. They don’t tell me this before they do it. I have sleep apnea. I stop breathing multiple times. I don’t really remember the birth of my baby.

I wake up and two surgeons are above me sewing me up. I ask if I’m ok. They ignore me. I’m hallucinating, thinking I’m speaking when I’m not. They congratulate me and the team rolls me into the hall, laughing and celebrating while I am genuinely convinced I died on the table. Nothing feels real. They roll me into my room and my husband is in the corner, holding our baby. I still think I’m dead. He goes to bring the baby to me, the nurses take my baby and run some more tests. My husband comes over to check on me. I ask if I’m dead. He says I’m not. I don’t believe him. The nurse comes over to finally hand me my baby. I start crying, I reach my arms out. She forgets something and turns around, taking him away just before I can reach him. I’m too tired to say anything. I finally get to hold him and before I can even process anything, a team of nurses comes over and starts trying to teach me how to breastfeed. I am high as a kite, my baby is rejecting my breast, I still think I’m dead. Someone takes him from me at some point and I am told to go to bed. I do. I wake up in horrible pain. The next two days are spent trying to bond with my son while being barely able to move. I’m in a diaper, I’m bleeding profusely. The hospital bed is too high and can’t be lowered so I have to learn to crawl like an animal to get into it. My legs are swollen with the water my body was rejecting. I am told to rest, as I have received a major abdominal surgery. I am also told not to rest, to keep from forming life threatening blood clots. They won’t let me lay down for more than an hour.

I finally leave after four total days. I am terrified of getting pregnant again.

[jasminextea]

100 Pounds Down: A Retrospective

TW: weight loss, surgery, specific numbers

STATS:

F/24/5'5" [273 > 173 = 100 lbs]

How I Did It:

I had bariatric surgery on 12/20/2024. I had a surgery called the SADI.

The Good

The majority of health issues I had as a result of my obesity have reversed. The insulin resistance I've had since I was a preteen - gone. Sleep apnea - gone. My triglycerides went from 280 to 131. My HDL (bad cholesterol) went from 151 (HIGH) to 56.

My ease of movement is so. Much. Easier. I can walk for miles without being phased. No pain in my calves/ankles/etc. I can walk up an inclined sidewalk without even noticing. I went for a run the other day. FOR FUN.

Clothes are of course much easier to find. I love to thrift, but before I almost never found anything worth buying in my size. Now I find stuff almost every time. I love fashion so I'm enjoying this a lot.

The Meh (Not So Bad, Not So Good)

I have a TON of clothes to get rid of. I find clothing selling very tedious and Plato's Closet won't take any of of my stuff

I get more male attention. This would be a plus, but I have a boyfriend, and I've never had to deal with it before, so I just feel awkward. Like I went to the club for my birthday and this man would NOT stop trying to grind on me!!!

The Bad

I have iron deficiency without anemia. It really sucks. However I did have this before I got surgery. It's just harder to correct since my surgery makes it harder to absorb iron. I'm getting an iron infusion next Wednesday tho!!!

My LDL cholesterol (good cholesterol) is a little low.

Loose skin. It drives me crazy. Makes exercising especially hard.

I no longer absorb enough birth control for it to stop my periods, and instead I get a period like every 2 weeks. This is hard because I have heavy periods which make my iron deficiency worse. I also have PMDD and BC basically stopped it. So now I have to seek out an alternative and it's annoying/scary.

In general, it makes medications harder to deal with because I don't absorb them completely, but there isn't a ton of research into exactly how this works. As someone was disabled before finding the right medication, this is very scary. I feel like this risk was not adequately communicated to me pre-surgery.

The Ugly

I've gotten a little too obsessed with my body lately. I've been weighing myself a LOT, body checking constantly, feeling super insecure... my body occupies my thoughts the majority of the time.

Overall

I don't regret getting bariatric surgery, but I do have a lot of work to do still before I can consider myself healthy, both physically and mentally.

[practically-an-x-man]

Who would call your OC their best friend?

Who has your OC made cry?

Did your OC bear witness to anyone’s full character arc?

What is the worst thing your OC does in their story?

For Ophelia?

Ooooooh thank you!!

Fandom OC Ask Meme

Who would call your OC their best friend?

While she was growing up, Harry was absolutely her best friend - and while I think his ego would get in the way some of the time, especially while he's in high school and it wouldn't be "cool" to be best friends with a girl two years younger than him, he really did consider her to be one of his best friends. I mean, they were basically siblings, they grew up together, they were incredibly close.

Peter 2 is also included in that crowd: he met her a little later, and for a while had only heard of her tangentially through Harry, but in adulthood they get a lot closer. I think he'd refer to her as his best friend for two reasons: genuinely, of course, they are close, but also because Ophelia's lonely and he wants to remind her that he cares about her.

And Peter 3's absolutely got that "I'm in love with my best friend" dynamic, he's totally smitten.

Who has your OC made cry?

She's had a lot of trouble in her past relationships, honestly. She tried her best, don't get me wrong, but she had a lot of unresolved grief and tended to fall into her work or grow distant when she should have been there for her partner, and that was a difficult thing for both of them. Those were a tough few years.

Did your OC bear witness to anyone’s full character arc?

She witnessed a good amount of Harry's arc, having grown up with him, though she missed some of the end because she was away at college (and regrets it to this day... part of her still thinks she could have saved him if she'd been there)

What is the worst thing your OC does in their story?

Hm... that's a tough one. She's a tough person, even on the verge of callous at certain times, but as a whole she tries to do good things. Most of the things she considers her worst deeds really weren't her fault - not thinking to double-check her father's calculations before his tritium reactor test, not answering Harry's voicemail before his death, going to check on Ned and MJ rather than staying with May during the NWH plot, accidentally leading a supervillain to her apartment where he turned off her girlfriend's sleep apnea device, etc.

As a whole, she tends to feel more guilt about inaction, even when there was no way she could have known what to do at the time. In terms of actual deeds, good versus bad, she's got a moral compass so strict it's almost suffocating (largely because of guilt and grief she never processed...)

[vvatchword]

For a long time I experienced day-killing, life-ruining sinus headaches. They would absolutely wreck me. They'd knock me out for days at a time. I'd wake up with pain over and behind my eyes. Sometimes it was bad enough that I would throw up. I would have to avoid screens, light, and heat. Others have described these episodes as migraines to me, but I really don't think they are, even now. I never had any of the other migraine symptoms, like auras.

It was relatively easy to blame certain traits--dust storms and high-pollen days being the most obvious. But as to fixing it? Jesus christ i didn't know. So I went on a long trek over a period of 4 years to figure out how to stop these motherfucking headaches.

Early on, I tried pain medication, which only dulled the pain a little; this was par for the course for me, since medication has a reduced effect on me in general. I progressed to sitting in hot showers with the lights turned off. I started using something I called "Magic Drink," a preworkout supplement full of caffeine and amino acids called "NO Xplode" (originally I mixed another amino acid mix in it, and even now I use lemon juice to give it a little substance). This would outright kill lighter episodes. Eventually I began using something called a "Sinuspik" to cleanse my sinuses--think Neti Pot, but with vibrations (god it feels good when your snoot is sad). These solutions were hit and miss, unfortunately. Some days were just so bad that it didn't matter if I used all of them at once.

So I went in for allergy shots. This actually worked, but it didn't solve everything. Mostly, they reduced length and severity of episodes. I still had bad days every two weeks or so.

Found out I had sleep apnea. Got a CPAP machine. Friendos, this was the first big solution: turns out I was snoring and fucking up my sinuses in the night. I was able to reduce episodes dramatically using this.

But STILL! The headaches continued.

The final piece of the puzzle: I have bad anxiety and grind my teeth day and night. Turns out that a combination of my unique bite and my anxiety caused the tension to travel up my teeth into my sinuses. I invested in Invisalign, something I had always rolled my eyes at (lol who gives a fuck about straight teeth amirite). I had to pay for it with my credit card and I'm fucking glad I did: like magic, the episodes completely disappeared. My life may be shitty as fuck but I'm not nauseous and dying of boredom in a dark, quiet room because of it. A combination of corrected bite and effective retainers was all I needed.

The last couple of days I have fallen asleep without my usual protections--the Invisalign retainers and the CPAP--and this forgetfulness has reminded me of my hubris. The solution to my problem was no magic pill: it was multiple solutions. The Invisalign in particular was not something I expected or looked for, and I thought I'd mention it in a public place in case it's a solution you haven't considered.

I never see anyone talking about this, so I wanted to suggest something in case it helps you as much as it helps me.

[ohnococo]

I’d like to argue this: as a 28 year old with rickety bones that crack everytime I’m on top and dating a 30 year old wearing a sleep apnea mask….age is no longer about chronological experience but specific traits and I absolutely would accept the youngin’s calling Nanami and Geto and Gojo dilfs 😭

Oh absolutely, I’m early 30s and have had a recurring shoulder problem and crackling knees since my teens.

And as for the dilf classification, you can be a teenager and have a baby lmao so that’s variable. Whenever we get the “older man 😍/age gap” talk about a late 20s nanami tho I remember we Are Nawt the same ages which is fine but I always think of that “dilfs” cake where there’s, like, Tom holland and timothee chalamet on there 😭

It’s all fiction though and heightened in its own way, but I prefer a little realism so the “older man dilf” fics don’t always hit the way I want them to. Which is why I can write my own tbf lmao. I like soft bodies, wrinkles, saggy balls, not being able to get it up .2 seconds later.

[celebritieswithemmab]

Shaq can't stop endorsing (seemingly) random things

So what's the pattern?

Like many people, I saw this picture on my social media feed a few years back. The haunting image has stuck with me ever since.

The first time I saw the viral X (formerly known as Twitter) image, I thought it was fake. I assumed it to be the product of Photoshop and nothing more. After all, why would Shaq, a retired professional basketball player, be endorsing a pregnancy test? It has been a long time since I speculated on Shaq's bizarre endorsement but with the birth of this blog, I've been eager to talk about this subject. Shaq's bizarre endorsements range from, yes, pregnancy tests, to executive office seating. None of them seem to make any more sense than the others. So what exactly has Shaq endorsed (it's a lot) and why does it make sense to endorse these brands?

The majority of the time, if a celebrity is going to endorse something, there is a good chance it will have to do with clothing, beauty, or wellness. As celebrities are seen as rare, exclusive, and special, very rarely do you see celebrities endorsing everyday items for the common parts of our lives. If a celebrity endorses an alcohol brand we may buy it for our parties, or wear their makeup when we go out, but the gap between the lives of celebrities and our own is vast. We both may wear shoes and work out, but that's where a lot of the similarities end. Celebrities make for excellent brand endorsers because they have spent their lives specializing in a certain career many people never have the chance to access. This allows them to be perceived to hold a very certain skill set (like how Kim Kardashian, an influencer and reality TV star known for her curvy figure, owns a shape wear brand now valued at over $4 billion). Brands can use the image of celebrities to ad a layer of credibility to their product or service. Shaq first earned his fame on the court, and is no stranger to endorsements for sneakers or basketballs. Yet since his retirement, he has branched out to other unrelated topics.

To start off, Shaq owns more than 150 car washes, 17 Auntie Annie franchises, nine Papa John's franchises (also appearing in their advertising), and has bought and sold enough Five Guy locations to amount to 10% of the entire company.

And those are just some of the franchises he has owned. When it comes to what Shaq has endorsed, the brands are even more plentiful.

Heres a few of my favorite Shaq brand endorsements:

Pregnancy test

Sleep apnea mask

Epson printer cartridges

Executive office chair

Shaq also owns the celebrity likeness of Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, Muhammad Ali, David Beckham, and Julius Erving.

So how did Shaq become the celebrity that can seemingly endorse anything?

To understand that, you must first understand Shaq's personal brand. He appeals to men who are sports fans (specifically basketball). His audience is 75% male, and nearly half of these are aged 25-34. Shaq is brand-safe, and has faced little to no controversy throughout his career. He is incredibly recognizable. Standing at 7'1, it makes his likeness hard to miss (like in the above photo). His energy positions him as lively, youthful, and relatable. Despite his impressive investment portfolio valued at over $100 million, he still appears down-to-earth, and some of his band endorsements fuels this image (more on this later). These all appeal to his main demographic. Some things that stand out to male consumers are a good value proposition, logic, simplicity, and humor.

Imagine this: you are a male, 26 years old, and regularly keep up with sports. You're just beginning your corporate career in accounting and have big plans for your future. Your girlfriend just called you concerned that she missed her latest period. You work through your anxiety and head to the nearest corner store. Standing amongst pads, tampons, and pregnancy tests, you have no idea what to look for. You feel out of place, out of your element, and you can't stop spiraling about how your whole life could change. That's when you see the kind, familiar face of Shaquille O'Neal staring up at you from the box of a pregnancy test. You rejoyce in the presence of something known! Suddenly, the overwhelming array of products with their overwhelming array of promises doesn't seem innavigable anymore. The surprising and out-of-place endorsement is humorous and allows you, finally, to laugh. All of a sudden your serious situation turns silly and ironic. You quickly choose the Shaq pregnancy test, comforted by the knowledge that you get the gift of two free Shaq stickers with purchase.

The strange endorsements Shaq takes on allows the more mundane or scary parts of our lives to be turned into something of a comedy. We recognize the surprise of seeing Shaq, the 7'1 basketball star, endorsing an office chair, but when you're an office executive and your days are filled with excel files, something a bit unusual may be exactly what you need. Especially if your colleagues are sports fans, it would make an excellent conversation starter: I have Shaq's chair. A sleep apnea mask can become Shaq's sleep apnea mask. Your ice pack can become Shaq's ice pack. This means that these products are now seen as truthworthy, strong, long-lasting, valuable, and, most importantly, a bit funny.

[puppygirlsounding]

Big crazy day journal post time

So, woke up this morning for work.

Gotcha! That's already a lie, I woke up well before my alarm because I've been having chronic sleep issues. I have a history of sleep apnea and insomnia, but lately I've had a whole new issue. To put it simply, once I've been woken up I can't get back to sleep. Doesn't matter if it's just to go to the bathroom, or a loud sound. This has been an ongoing problem for weeks, and I knew by the time my alarm went off I would not make it through today ok. So I took DECISIVE ACTION and called out from work. If you're reading this and don't know me that well, yes that is DECISIVE for me. Immediately knew I had to arrange a doctor's appointment to get a note, but once I had set out to do it I realized this something I should have been more prescient about in the first place, with my appointment to get my HRT dosage upped this Friday especially. So I got my exhausted boans out of bed, set up with a local urgent care, and had a nice morning talk with my beautiful girlfriend ^w^

It took me a bit longer to get going than I would like to admit, but once I finally got myself going I felt determined. Like I was about to take on something big, how ironic. I get dressed, order an Uber and head on out. The ride was nothing significant. made me very glad that even though I skipped breakfast, I still took my allergy meds. My city is getting ass blasted by a dust storm atm.

Get to the clinic, immediately realize how different it is. I thought I was heading to an urgent care, I had actually went to an ER. Apparently they do operate as standalone setups outside of hospitals. This turned out to probably be for the best.

I immediately get seen by a doctor and two nurses, the place is dead empty somehow even though it's one of maybe 3 Urgent care/ER's open on Sunday here. I start to get nervous progressively as I get brought in, until finally I get the question. So I'm dreading it, but of course with my health in mind I bring up my HRT when I'm asked about my medication. This is when my anxiety kicks into gear. The doctors don't do anything that makes me feel so, it's just my default state because of the conservative state I live in.

All things considered I said it with very little hesitation and continued on the screening. The doctor seeing me joined us by this point. After going over my symptoms, the sleep loss, chronic gut pains, etc. he immediately decided to put me on a I.V.

This quite stunned me, and for all intents and purposes this is the turning point of our story.

It clicked with me in this moment, I called out of work thinking I was doing it for my health. Yet up until right then I was only there to get a note. I thought I was playing this up to make sure I had an excuse to skip. Only after listing all of my very real symptoms, and seeing the look of concern on these men's faces did it hit me.

I had been ignoring my own health to get by for weeks.

So while still processing this, they guided me to the bed, briefed me on what they were going to give me and prepped the IV. I could immediately tell this doctor was good, he tried to reassure me by saying it was mostly because I seemed dehydrated. I knew what he really meant, he saw straight through me and all the friendliness to how haggard I really was. The nurse began the IV and I warned them I was going to look away because of my past with needles. The doctor held my hands to calm me.

After setting everything up, the two men left to get me a cocktail of at least three meds. Even though it was for such a short time they were gone, it was enough. All of this hit me, I looked down at my feet in the hospital bed, inspected the new hole in my arm. I ended up here thinking I was just subduing my anxiety by getting a stupid work note. I had actually needed medical attention and was too busy surviving to stop and realize.

So whether through sheer coincidence or subconscious push I was here. All of the gravity of the sleep deprivation, stomach problems and chronic pain hit me at once. I started crying so much I hid my face in my hat. I only barely got to start by the time my nurse came back with the IV bag. Being able to tell how upset I was, and knowing I would be on the IV for a while; he very clinically, yet kindly assured me. Explained the meds, got me tissues, even a drink. As swiftly as he arrived, he left. Closing the door to the room, killed the lights and drew the curtain for me.

Knowing what this man, who seemed wholly uninterested initially interpreted, it all hit me.

I began sobbing

Tears streaming down my face

Deeply saddened by how I had let myself get like this. Maybe my level of shame here is hard to understand. I only recently feel like I have gotten true love in my life. Both platonic and romantic. I have people who care about me so deeply now. I want more than anything to see what they see in me, and at the very least take care of myself. To love them back.

Realizing I got so wrapped up in my own mental comfort blanket broke me a little. I had gone back to just surviving again.

So I spent the next hour roughly, resting, fretting over my IV, drying my tears.

I calmed down a good while before my nurse came back. He removed the IV, and the doctor came to brief me. The good news is my samples came back fine. Like the doctor easily intuited, it was all the stress. I was prescribed some anxiety meds alongside stomach meds to control the gastritis symptoms.

The doctor the whole time was unbelievably sweet, asked me for my pronouns as soon as he knew about the HRT. Kept telling me about his stepson and his experiences. I even got called young lady (⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠)

It really helped pick me up after all the crying.

By the time I'm all put together and ready to set up my ride home the weather has worsened exponentially. It takes a while to get a ride because of the dust and wind, but I am so glad I got who I did ^w^

I ended up being picked up by a sweet guy, we went on our way to my pharmacy to get my meds and had a lovely conversation on the way. I cracked him up with some bad mu-metal jokes lol

When we get there, I tell him I'll be in and out to drop them off so we can go back to my place and finish the Uber ride. Unbeknownst to me this was not going to happen.

So in order I:

Found out my CVS no longer takes my insurance.

My HRT meds I got through them were probably also not insured and I wasn't told then

It would be a minimum of $70 I didn't have for the meds

And it would be a 45 minute wait because they didn't start prepping one

So I start to panic a little. I go back to my driver and explain the situation. I tell him I'll just have him take me home and I'll come back. Instead, he insists on waiting with me. Random guy I just met, doesn't mind an hour of his day gone. I'm floored at this point. Here begins a tedious, uninteresting back and forth. Where I run from the pharmacy counter and back to his car with updates multiple times. Eventually after they had dropped the ball so many times, and changed medicine prices on me at least twice.

This guy.

This fucking guy.

He offers to take me, off his own dollar to the pharmacy that will take my insurance. If I wasn't already this tired I would have started crying again.

So after a very awkward exchange with the CVS pharmacy rep, I cancelled my prescriptions through them and headed out

We chat the entire way to the pharmacy, It's one of the kind inside a Walmart. We hit it off just incredibly well considering I'm running off maybe 9 hours of sleep over the last 3-4 days. Enjoy our conversation the whole way. When we get out there, he even agrees to join me inside, wait for my meds with me and everything.

At this point I almost can't believe this guy is real. He straight up tells me he's writing the time spent off working as his good deed for the day. All dedicated to his grandma who raised him. Absolute fucking legend.

He makes me so comfortable I start telling him about my family. About being kicked out, and not even bothering with telling them about my transition.

He acted surprised when I told him I was trans, but he seemed to have already been cautious about gendering me, so I think he was just being nice.

We ended up spending half an hour just chatting in the kitchenware section. Talking about our lives, like we were old schoolmates or something.

Eventually I get my meds, he dotes on me the whole time. Reinforcing how obviously drained I must look. It was incredibly touching though, none of it felt forced, and made me feel seen.

We leave the store and he offers to take me to go get some food ( I had casually mentioned not eating yet today while at the pharmacy counter)

We grabbed a quick bite and headed to my apartment, still chatting the entire way. By the time we got there it felt like we were already friends. While part of it is definitely how amazingly friendly this guy is. I also feel comfortable saying it wouldn't have been anywhere near as friendly if this was the old me. Even with the shame of letting myself neglect my health still fresh, I can feel how much I've opened up. No matter how corny it sounds, people can recognize whether or not you're genuine. Be yourself.

By the time we make it back I'm starting to feel the exhaustion creep back in, but we say a very happy goodbye and exchange contact info.

So that was my day ^w^

I prolly could have shortened it down a bunch, made it more interesting to read, blablahblahblahblah...

If you made it this far and are thinking any of that, while you do have a point you are missing mine.

Today more than anything was a learning experience for me. It started with asking my girlfriend for comfort, and ended with making a new friend. Even when it seems hard. Even when you feel like a burden. Reach out. You're worth it. Whether that's directly to your loved one, or expressing your troubles openly so kind souls can lend a hand, it doesn't matter. Just learn to lean on people a little, even if you've got burned in the past like me.

Thank you if you read this far, I don't expect anybody to but my mutuals but who knows.

Special thanks and love to:

Vera, my wonderful girlfriend

Charlie, my support goblin

Cecil, because I know you'll read this

Skylar, for helping out a stranger

- Jen

[chiefyakousdilftits]

I don’t think I’ve ever really uploaded the very specific version of Yakou I had in my mind since like July, so, here it goes. ✨

✨ Yakou Furio Headcannons Two ; Electric Boogaloo !! ✨

( This is going to include both the Rain Code era of Yakou, and my little spinoff AUs / Devil’s Deal and Project Ninjin 💕 )

( CW ; Drug Usage !! Mental Health !! Trauma !! )

✨ Rain Code Era !! ✨

✨ Yakou does actually have an apartment in Kanai Ward, but he doesn’t really go back there too often. He and his wife both lived there, so being in a place that has practically been untouched since her death really stirs up a lot of sad feelings, so he avoids it as best as he can. He promises that one day he’ll clean it up and move back, but it never ends well when he’s there by himself for too long.

✨ He’s the youngest of three siblings ( and also the tallest ) !! He’s also the only one that lives in Kanai Ward. His mom moved across the world to her hometown, and his siblings live in various places around the world. He’s always wanted to visit his mom, but given the travel restrictions in Kanai Ward, it’s near to impossible to get out of there.

✨ He owned rabbits growing up !! He has a keepsake of rabbit feet in his desk somewhere, from all the previous rabbits he owned. He would gladly have another pet, but it doesn’t feel right to have a larger animal that needs to go outside on the submarine, and he barely has enough money to take care of himself, much less another living thing.

✨ Literally the worst smoker’s cough, also really bad sleep apnea. No, he’s not going to a doctor for it. Lots of waking up in the middle of the night to cough and clear his throat. Yakou doesn’t really get restful sleep, but he’s kind of used to it at this point. It’s part of the reason why he sleeps in so late.

✨ Has always loved the rain, he’s one of the few people that doesn’t get tired of it raining in Kanai Ward, still jumps in rain puddles when he passes by them. :))

✨ Has super bad eating habits, and rarely ever eats unless he feels like he’s starving.

✨ He’s pretty lanky, tends to trip over his own limbs. His body is soft, and he’s not very toned, especially in his hips and stomach. He definitely has muscle in his arms, chest, and shoulders, but he tends to get sore easily, and doesn’t really want to do lots of heavy lifting. He hasn’t really needs to for years.

✨ He’s probably good enough to protect himself at self defense, he can walk away from a fight, but he does get pretty banged and bruised up.

✨ He does actually need glasses, but the ones he’s wearing aren’t prescription, they’re just his late wife!s regular old sunglasses, so he tends to squint. Don’t call him out on it though, he’ll deny he needs them until the day he dies.

✨ Does not take care of himself medically speaking either, he will avoid going to the doctor at all costs, even if he’s sick. Fortunately for him, he has a rather good immune system, so it’s rare for him to get sick, but he does have unmanaged and overlooked medical conditions.

✨ Has four tattoo pieces, two half sleeves on his upper arms of flowers, his signature chest and stomach tattoo, and one on the back to match the front !!

✨ Main choice in pajamas is his suit pants, he hasn’t gone back to his apartment for any, and doesn’t really set aside money to buy more.

✨ I’ve personally always seen Yakou as cisgender ( though I definitely experiment with Trans! Yakou and love the idea of that ), and he is closeted biromantic / bisexual, disaster bi energy. He definitely tries to be as supportive of queer people as he can, but admittedly, being an older queer person, he’s a bit out of the loop on some things.

✨ I headcannon Yakou being forty - one at the time of Rain Code !! Has grey hairs for sure, though he doesn’t feel like he’s aged much since his late thirties. Doesn’t really have any sort of wrinkles yet.

( Now We’ve Reached Lop AU Territory !! )

✨ Devil’s Deal Era !! ✨

✨ Yakou is so mentally ill and unwell. Much more hardened than Rain Code! Yakou for sure.

✨ The OG! Yakou, human Yakou, non - homunculus Yakou !!

✨ Definitely gotten much better at self defense, though due to untreated trauma among other things, his fuse is much shorter. He’s bordering on paranoid at this point, and knows that people are out to get him, so he’s quick to react when he’s anxious or cornered.

✨ Unfortunately took up a lot of drugs during this era, it really adds to his paranoia and temperament, as well as his overall health. Also does a lot of chain smoking, it’s more of a coping mechanism at this point.

✨ Avoids doctors and hospitals like the plague, he genuinely will do whatever it takes to not have to go to the hospital, and really gets into home remedies and such to try and clear up any sicknesses. Keeps a first aid kit in his car to take care of injuries, and has definitely made splints for his fingers and even his leg at one point.

✨ Gets a few scars, ranging from one across his nose, one on his jawline, a few on his torso, a couple on his arms and legs, and a rune scar on his neck ( due to making a deal with the devil ).

✨ His sunglasses end up getting broken, and he doesn’t stop wearing them. It’s a reminder to keep going in the situation that he’s in, even though the cracks in the lenses obscure his vision, and by the end of Devil’s Deal, he’s just wearing the frames, because the lenses get busted out. It’s a comfort item to him.

✨ One of the few survivors of the Blank Week Mystery, he ended up escaping with a few others, and they live in an apartment complex together for awhile, until he makes a deal with the devil. Admittedly, he wasn’t the most badass survivor, and partially thanks dumb luck for making it out alive. It wasn’t really lots of fighting on his way out, more so just keeping quiet and knowing when to time his movements.

✨ Was a bartender again for awhile, and genuinely enjoyed his job this time around, especially after surviving what he did and going through the things he went through.

✨ Definitely exhibits symptoms of PTSD, depression, anxiety, paranoia, and substance abuse disorder.

✨ He becomes much thinner and definitely more dehydrated after awhile, his skin sticks to his bones and muscle, making him seem a little more toned if you don’t look close enough. Though, upon further examination, you can definitely tell he’s extremely unhealthy, with his hands showing it the most, due to his fingernails being unhealthy and the inability to find the veins in his hands and arms, and his breathing problems being much worse.

✨ Honestly so much more grouchy than the Yakou we know, especially nearing the end of this arc, but he’s just having a tough time in general throughout this entire arc.

✨ Project Ninjin Era !! ✨

✨ He’s now reached the age of 42, yippee !!

✨ Still struggling with mental illness, but has built up a wall, so while he’s definitely still very aloof, he still manages to have somewhat genuine interactions with people, especially Yui, but you can definitely tell that he’s trying to keep himself emotionally distanced from many people.

✨ This is the first time in years he’s had a comfortable home to sleep in, though he finds it almost too comfortable, too girly, too soft. But yeah, the image of Yakou sleeping in Yui’s office / guest bedroom, surrounded by all these frilly throw pillows, heaps of blankets, and stuffed bunnies is hysterical.

✨ Finally gets actual glasses !! He keeps the same frame shape, but he now has glasses that fit his head better and actually feel comfortable to wear, rather than digging into his head and nose. He ends up getting the transitional lenses too, so they get darker in the sunlight, but lighter when not in the light.

✨ Actually gets a lighter wardrobe with more breathable fabrics and such, especially since Ninjin Meadows is much warmer than Kanai Ward, and now has actual pajamas that consists of either old thrifted band tees or regular baggy shirts with flannel pants or his boxers.

✨ Starts going to the doctor at the constant insistence of Yui, eventually gets referred to a therapist for his mental health, as well as a primary care doctor, where he learns that he actually does struggle with sleep apnea, COPD, and one of his knees had healed incorrectly, so now he is encouraged to wear a knee brace / wrap to help support it due to the muscle and bone damage.

✨ Still has a complicated relationship with food, because he didn’t really eat unless he had to before coming to Ninjin Meadows, so his cues on when he’s hungry isn’t something he really picks up on anymore, but Yui definitely makes sure he eats at least two meals a day.

✨ You can definitely tell that he gets healthier during this arc, he’s more capable with helping Yui out with heavy lifting and builds back his upper body muscle ( especially in his arms, shoulders, and chest ). He also mentions that it feels like he’s gaining weight back, and while he’s initially upset about it, he eventually embraces it, getting somewhat of a a dad bod.

✨ Really shows off his skills in taking care of rabbits during this arc !!

✨ Stops smoking cigarettes, but has definitely never given up on smoking weed.

✨ Eventually gets a CPAP machine so he can sleep better.

✨ If anything, living with Yui, he has a more comfortable place to stay and someone actively encouraging him to take better care of himself, and while he’s extremely reluctant to do so, vehemently rejecting any kindness for a little bit; slowly, but surely, Yakou starts to get better again, and learn how to cope with his trauma, as well as take care of himself. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’s not still a grouch like in Devil’s Deal, since he still very much is much more grumpy than in Rain Code, but now he’s learning how to care for himself in ways he never did before. 💕

[fruitymations]

TW // serious medical talk This is a really important update about what's going on. I'm copying/pasting the text from my Twitlonger post. Everything is under a read more.

Hey everyone. I've been inactive quite a bit due to family emergencies that have popped up.

I normally don't talk about these things publicly, but it's gotten so bad I've decided to give some sort of an update for my social media.

My father is currently in the hospital. On Tuesday (April 11th) he was found unconscious for up to two hours in the lumber department at a Home Depot store nearby where we live. He has a more severe case of type 2 diabetes and his blood sugar was found to be around 780 during this incident. He refused medical treatment but the Home Depot staff refused to let him drive home on his own as his condition could put himself and others at risk if he were to go behind the wheel.

He seemed a little out of it when I went to go see him the next day on Wednesday (April 12th). I assumed he was tired from the previous day's incident and that his medications might have been taking a while to kick in. I went to see him to pick up the car keys for our other van so I could pick up the van from the Home Depot parking lot. My father lives separate from us at the house that my mom owns. It's the same house she got in early 2021 that I've been trying to renovate from time to time. Me and my mother live in the condo unit we've had since early 2009.

On Saturday (April 15th) I was headed to my weekend delivery job. I was driving the family van since my regular car is currently in the shop as of writing this. I decided to stop by the house to drop off the other house keys and lockbox keys that my dad had attached to the van's key fob. When he answered the door I immediately knew something was wrong. He was showing signs of what looked like a typical stroke (left side of his body and face was mostly paralyzed, slurred and slowed speech, significant mental confusion). I called an ambulance for him after contacting my mother, my sister, and a close family friend about it.

He was taken to the emergency room and his fasting blood sugar was 465. The medical staff at the hospital tried bringing his blood sugar down and he got sleepy quickly. He's not in a coma, but he's been asleep since then and they haven't been able to get him to fully wake up. He also is unable to wake up on his own. I eventually found out that he hasn't been taking any pill medication for his diabetes and other ailments since November of 2022. He's supposed to take daily insulin injections for his blood sugar, but I found out that his most recent insulin injections he had expired in April of 2022.

I will give a more thorough update on his hospital stay and condition once he is out of the hospital, since things are still in progress with him. I've been going around updating my aunts and uncles on his side of the family (he has about seven or eight siblings; I don't know all of them since he's not great at keeping in touch with others). I've also been scrambling around to keep my mother, my sister, my friends, my partners, and close family friends about his condition as the hours and days go on. I'm his only kid and his next of kin so I've had to go back and forth on updating everyone. Once he's able to wake up on his own and is coherent, I'll have to discuss with him on becoming his power of attorney for healthcare in case anything serious happens in the future where he's unable to make medical decisions for himself.

On top of this, my mother also has her own laundry list of medical issues that require lots of various medications to keep her stable and alive. She also has type 2 diabetes but it's not as severe as my father's. Her other health conditions include interstitial lung disease (and lung scarring caused by this condition), severe sleep apnea, stage 3 pulmonary arterial hypertension, and edema (doctors suspect its caused by the heart struggling to keep up with her conditions). I'm mostly worried about her pulmonary arterial hypertension because there is no cure and it usually is the cause of death for those who are diagnosed with it.

Despite her conditions, she still goes to work since she's the financial stronghold of the household. Good friends of mine, along with my family and both my partners, all know about the debt that we have been dealing with. My mother has accumulated $120,000 USD of credit card debt and still owes about $180,000 USD for the mortgage on the house we got back in 2021. All together it's a total of $300,000 USD.

The things I can do to raise money is limited if it's through me, since I'm on SSI, and being on SSI means there are tight and usually unethical financial restrictions put on people like me. I get my healthcare through SSI via Medicaid. If I lose my SSI, I lose my healthcare. I have some health issues myself (mild GERD, possible PCOS, possible IBS, weight problems, some dental problems that I have to wait to get seen for, and mental health issues).

We are on the verge of bankruptcy and are possibly facing the loss of the little bit of stability that we have left. My mother isn't able to retire without risking financial ruin and she's dealing with an incurable disease that will most likely slowly kill her. I don't know if my father will bounce back from his current condition or not. I don't even know if his insurance will cover any of this.

I've been reluctant to open donations or fundraisers for this because I don't want to just take people's money left and right as I'd just feel bad about it.

I'm terrified. I'm exhausted. I don't know what to do.