#i call him my grape boy sometimes

[fictionalmenxyn]

᯾𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲, 𝐘𝐨𝐮’𝐝 𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬᯾

Pairing: dad!husband!rafe x mom!wife!reader

Pt.2 of honey, I’m home (as requested!)

Warnings: language, mentions of period and pregnancy

᯾᯾᯾

It’s been a couple weeks since Rafe had gotten home from his business trip for Cameron Development. Life has been amazing… up until the week that was supposed to be your period.

You are now five days late… this wasn’t like you. Even Rafe knew you had a regular period. He had the app for you, so he knew when to give you even more attention and loving. Which he does, this time only more.

You were currently over TannyHill. The kids wanted to go see their Aunt Sarah. So that’s exactly what you were up to now. You had bought pregnancy tests earlier that morning. Planning on doing them soon, just to be sure.

You and Rafe always wanted a big family. I mean, you can from one. And Rafe loved your family dearly, loving how they were practically like his siblings… even if it’s just through marriage. He loved them like his own.

You told Sarah, “hey, I’m gonna head to the bathroom, can you keep an eye on these?” Gesturing to the boys who were playing trucks in the grass of the backyard. She smiled and nodded “of course, you go do what you need to.”

You walked back into the house, going over to your bag. You pulled out the box and put them into your pocket.

After sometime, waiting for the sticks to work. You held up the first one. You took a deep breath. Oh. My. God… you’re pregnant… really?? Or is it just the first stick… you go to check the other one.. oh, this also says the same…

Oh my god…

You’re pregnant… actually pregnant… again!

You head back to the backyard, Sarah asked “everything, okay? You took a while…” Sarah joked “didn’t get lost did you?” Knowing full well that you knew TannyHill like the back of your hand.

You smiled softly “no… but this…” you handed her the pregnancy test.

This felt normal for you. Sarah was the first to know since she’d always go to the drug store with you to buy them. Also cause she was like a sister to you. Sis you don’t have sisters. Just brothers.

She gasped “no way?! Really!!” You nodded “but don’t go telling anyone outside of the family… it’s only been a week since I’ve been late of my period, okay?” She nodded.

Later that day, Ward and Rose knew. Rose knew because she just had that ‘feeling’ and Ward walked in when Rose gasped lot of excitement. Thinking something was wrong he went to go check, that’s when he was told.

It was now evening, Rafe would be coming home from Golf soon. You sat on the couch. The boys playing on the rug with their toys as you watch the tv.

You heard the door open and your favourite voice “hey baby?! You here?!” You called out “living room!”

You could hear him put his golf clubs bag down in the foyer. Then his footsteps getting closer.

He sat on the couch next to you. Spreading his legs comfortably, and purposefully touching his knee with yours. As he’s always done since you both had been together. After he fussed the three boys. He rested his arms on the backs of the couches. His index finger tracing patterns into your shoulder.

“So? How’ve you been all day? You had fun with the kids up TannyHill?” You smiled softly and nodded. Taking another bite of a grape before holding the bowl out to him. Silently offering. He smirked “only if you feed me one.” You playfully roll your eyes.

As you fed Rafe one grape. Cody called out “me! Me!” Rafe smirked “think someone else wants to be fed a grape, sweetheart…” you hold one out for Cody… then Morgan… Toby was still too young to eat a big grape. So you fed him a snack puff.

You put Morgan on your lap, as he wanted some cuddles from you. You reached into your pocket and placed the pregnancy test on his lap. Like it was the most casual thing ever. You thought of different was each time to surprise him. But the casualness of it would be more surprising.

He lifted it up and saw the two lines. “No way… seriously?!” You held your hand to your face. Trying not to cry, like every other time. His smile grew as he saw you nod.

Rafe spoke loudly “Babe! Now way!? Are you fucking kidding me?!” You spoke playfully yet sternly “Rafe! Language!” He nodded “oh yeah, my bad…” he took Morgan off of your lap. Which Morgan pouted at. Rafe told Morgan “you’ll get her back, let daddy give momma some love, buddy.”

Rafe pulled you into his lap, wrapping his arms around your waist. He pulled you into a soft yet passionate kiss. When he pulled away, Rafe spoke “god, you’re just the best, love, god, I love you so much…” you replied “I love you too…”

Morgan sensed the happiness after watching you two kiss. He called his fists and lifted his arms and yelled “Yay! Momma!” You and Rafe both laugh.

Rafe told Morgan “Yes, bud! Yay momma!” Cody and Toby come over. Rafe held both of your wrists and moved your arms up and down as he playfully chanted “momma! Momma! Momma!”

The boys, practically being carbon copies of him, soon joined in. All four of your boys started chanting “momma! Momma! Momma!”

After tha chanting died down, Rafe smirked “you better give me a girl this time, baby…” you laughed “I’ll try my best…” he smirked “good…” he gave you another kiss. God, you were his woman, his wife, mother of his children… his world

᯾᯾᯾

[ageingfangirl2]

I Want A Divorce! Shanks (OPLA)

You get ill and Shanks offers to do your jobs around the ship, but he gets distracted easily and wants your praise. You love the man-child, but sometimes you have to tell him to actually like his age. Shanks x Reader FLUFF!

'You have a high fever so I'm going to recommend bed rest until it breaks, can't have you getting any worse,' Hongo states, placing a cold cloth on your forehead which was nice in your current state.

You cough, 'I guess I can take it easy Hongo.'

Over Hongo's shoulder, you notice Shanks watching and listening intently to the doctor's orders, 'I'm going to do all your jobs so you just rest up.'

You and Hongo snicker sharing a moment, both of you knowing Shanks wouldn't be able to cope with all that you did around the ship without complaining. Hongo pats your shoulder as he gets up from the bed. Shanks immediately takes his spot, tucking you in. You were the fourth crew member to join and the only female, and had been charmed into dating the notorious red-haired pirate.

'I love you darling but you don't even know half of what I do around here,' you whisper, throat sore.

Shanks puffs out his chest proudly, 'I'm going to make you proud, I'm going to do so good everyone will be begging me to do your jobs instead.'

You smile as he leans down and kisses the cold cloth.

TWO DAYS LATER

Shanks bursts through the doors of his quarters which you shared and throws himself on the bed next to you burying his face in a pillow. He could be an overdramatic diva at times but he was your diva. Before you can say anything Lucky walks in holding a tray of food that makes your mouth water and forget your partner.

'How are you feeling? Hongo said you should eat more fruit so I made you a fruit salad for after your soup.'

Ignoring Shanks who was now mumbling into the pillow you sit up and accept the tray of food and glass of water, 'You're all too good to me Lucky. How are the new guys?'

Lucky shrugs his shoulders, 'confused and maybe a little scared because they follow your instructions which makes captain grumpy.'

You nod, 'I'll talk to him. Thanks for the update.'

Lucky leaves and closes the door behind him. Shanks rolls onto his side and reaches for the fruit salad but you swat his hand away, 'My fruit salad captain.'

Shanks pouts, sticking out his bottom lip and shooting you his best puppy dog eyes, 'Why didn't you tell me what you did? I wouldn't have agreed otherwise. I love you, but dealing with the new crew is tedious.'

Just wait until he found out all the other odd jobs you did to help out the rest of the crew, there was a reason people called you mother hen. You pop a slice of apple in your mouth and sigh, 'What do you want me to do darling? Give you a pat on the back? Feed you a treat, give you a belly rub and call you a good boy? It's not easy but you never back down from a challenge. I know you'll give it your all until I get better.'

Shanks sits up and stops pouting, a look of determination in his eyes, 'You're right I can do this. I'm going to make you proud.'

You scoff as he steals some grapes and jumps off the bed with a new lease of life, you really did have him wrapped around your little finger.

FOUR DAYS LATER

Your fever had come down and you didn't feel like death anymore, but Hongo insisted you stay in bed for a few more days. The crew had bets on Shanks he didn't know about, he'd gotten better at doing your jobs but wasn't great. You promised to stay in bed so the crew could make some money off your partner.

THREE DAYS LATER

You were sat up in bed reading the newspaper feeling much better and enjoying relaxing for once. Shanks walks in and climbs on top of you, lying on you with his full weight, 'I know your secret babe,' he chuckles, head now resting on your chest, eyes locked with yours but he doesn't look upset.

You put the paper down and start running your fingers through his hair, 'Hongo asked me to stay in bed longer, I actually enjoyed not having as many responsibilities, makes a nice change. I'm sorry for deceiving you, Shanks.'

Shanks nuzzles into your hands more enjoying the massage, 'Now I know how much you do I want you to slow down. I'll try and help more when I can, and the crew promised to fix their own problems before coming to you for help babe.'

'Thank you. However, you lying on top of me is making parts of my body fall asleep.'

Shanks smirks, 'I'll wake them up when I need them.'

You throw your head back and laugh at his playful and flirty antics, 'I want a divorce.'

Shanks matches your laughter, 'I'm never letting you go, you mean too much to me. Maybe a few years after the marriage you can talk about a divorce.'

For all the years the two of you had been together you weren't engaged, everyone assumed you were married and the two of you kind of went with the flow. Little did you know Shanks wasn't joking about marriage this time around.

[viviennevermillion]

*slides into your inbox because HSR requests are open*

Hey Vi! I was wondering if I could request some heacanons for Sampo, Blade, and your boy Luocha with a reader who likes to play with/run their hands through the boys hair? They all have such pretty hair and I want to play with it!

Anyway take your time of course, and I hope you're doing well! Please remember to take care of yourself!

playing with their hair

✧ ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ: ryker, yayyy, thank you for sending in a request! you made me think about sampo and realize that he's the funniest fucking character in the entire game and so much fun to write for. i had a blast with his banner too, the song fits him so well 💀🩵

btw requests are open and if you guys would like to read more of my works, check my masterlist!

✧ ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: carried me with you — brandi carlile

✧ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ: sampo, blade, luocha

✧ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: very slight angst in blade's (i'm so sorry, i'm trying, i promise)

Sampo loves when you play with his hair. He'd be 100% down for you trying ridiculous hairstyles on him but on a good day he'll put a pillow in your lap and puts his hands behind his head, sinking into the soft fabric. He closes his eyes when your fingertips start carding through his blue strands of hair. "This is the good life", he sighs and winks at you, "now all you'd need to do would be feeding me grapes like they do in the movies and things would be perfect." "Wait until I throw you off the couch", you shoot him a warning glare. "Hey, hey, I jest", he puts his hands up defensively and laughs.

"You know I'm lucky to have you", he takes your free hand into his and presses a kiss to your knuckles, "this is like we're straight out of a romantic piece of literature, don't you think?" You raised an eyebrow at him: "You're not exactly what I'd consider a romance novel protagonist."

He sighs. "True. I'm more like, the court jester who fell in love with the pretty royal heir", he reaches up to cup your cheek, caressing it gently with his fingertips. "And I love you for it", you laugh as he sits up to press a kiss to your lips. You bury your fingers in his hair whilst kissing back.

You take a deep breath and drift off into your own thoughts now that Sampo was quiet for a moment. A rare occurence, really.

As you enjoy this moment with your beloved, you think back to the chaos that was all over Belobog recently. "Hey, what do you think our friends from the Astral Express are doing now?", you wonder and Sampo sinks back into your lap again, resting his cheek against your stomach. "Maybe fighting a giant, strong lady with the help of a dragon, but what do I know?", he shrugs with a satisfied smile on his face. "Isn't it usually the other way around?", you raise an eyebrow. "It is, isn't it?", he puts a finger to his chin and chuckles.

You laugh and ruffle his hair. "You always have such an overactive imagination. You should write a book." "As much as I'd slay as an author, I'm just doomed by the narrative like the rest of us, darling."

Blade enjoys when you run your fingers through his hair. It's a sensation that momentarily distracts him from everything else that is going on in that busy, but tired mind of his; so it's well-appreciated.

He will not let you mess up his hair under any circumstance. Kafka calling him "Bladie", a terrible habit that rubbed off on you, was bad enough. He didn't need her and Silver Wolf to tease him about having a ponytail on top of his head with several braids going off from it, tied together with colorful hair ties.

Thankfully, you were sane enough not to attempt that.

But he does let you do a few nice hairstyles that look good on him; like a simple, long braid. He doesn't care for what he looks like after all these years of being alive but you seemed to find joy in it and it made his daily life easier sometimes to have his hair put together in a braid.

Sometimes when you sit behind him and braid his hair, you press a few teasing kisses to his neck. Unfortunately for his usually so serious demeanor, Blade is the most ticklish person you have ever met, so that's one of the only things that gets a laugh out of him; even if he didn't feel it emotionally. You brush a strand of his hair back, relishing in the sound he made so rarely; a slight tinge of sadness in your heart and a thought you didn't dare voice.

I wish I could see you laugh more... I'd do anything to make you happy.

He also lets you brush his hair every morning if you want to. His hair is so soft, as you have told him many times. He always wonders how something so simple could bring you so much joy; but he's glad that it does.

Luocha always takes good care of his hair; after all a professional appearance was important for a merchant. His hair is very soft and silky and you have a great time brushing and braiding it.

He teaches you how to do his signature hairstyle. It's quite difficult to do on his own so he appreciates that you're happy to help. This pretty much became a routine for the two of you in the morning.

Sometimes he'd try to get up at night to go to the bathroom and find you accidentally laying on his hair. He hisses an "ouch" under his breath, sometimes waking you up in the process. Once he's back in your arms, you massage his scalp and carefully run your fingers through his blond strands to make up for the painful accident.

In the morning, you tend to sit behind him and do his hair, often littering his neck and shoulders in the process. "Is this just an excuse for you to give me kisses?", he chuckles and shakes his head. "I suppose you caught me", you sigh with a smile on your face and Luocha turns his head to pull you into a deep kiss that catches you off guard. You quickly melt into the gesture, closing your eyes and noting how pleasant the taste of his lips is. You presume he applies lip balm in the morning before you do his hair but you never actually saw him do it.

When he gets home after a long day, depending on what hairstyle you did for him, his scalp hurts sometimes when you undo his braid so he loves to rest his head in your lap and have you ease brush your fingers through his hair.

[hearts4renaa]

ONCE BELIEVED

summary: what they thought love was versus what you showed them it really is. featuring xiao, childe, diluc, scaramouche, albedo, and alhaitham.

contains: 0.7k words, little drabbles for each boy 🫶 fluff

a/n: finally some fluff ���� this piece was pretty personal for me to write, since i used perceptions of the loves ive seen through my people watching/people around me/personal experiences. enjoy 🫶

Xiao thought love was a useless phenomenon that only mortals experienced. He didn’t think love was all that special, nor did he understand how someone could devote their entire life to one person. To love was to be attached. To be attached was to get hurt. However, you taught him that love did have a use; to bring out the best in each other. You brought out a different side of Xiao. A softer, gentler side that was able to relax at your touch. The side of Xiao who finally felt like each breath of air in his lungs were ones of life, and not as a reminder that he is still suffering. The side of Xiao who was proven wrong about love, but he could never be more glad than he is. Xiao knows what true love is now. Love is you.

Childe thought that love was fiery and passionate all the time. He thought that to love was to kiss dramatically in the rain, to dance in the moonlight. To forever be caught up in the thrill of it all, like a never ending adrenaline rush. But being with you made him realize that love isn’t just a thrilling roller coaster ride. Sometimes, love is the quiet laughter at night, sweet kisses on each other's foreheads, or the comfort of simply sitting next to each other. Love doesn’t always have to be burning brightly; sometimes, it’s a calm flame in the corner of the room. It may not be dramatic, but it illuminates everything around it.

Diluc thought that to be loved, he had to be worthy. He thought that he had to perfect himself in order to be loved, that he had to meet certain conditions. But then you came around and flipped his entire worldview around. You showed him that he didn’t need to be extravagant, or strong all the time, or perfect. He just had to be Diluc. Your Diluc, who does extensive research on grape juice just to find his favourite kind. Your Diluc, who wakes up early on Saturdays to make you a hot drink to serve to you in bed. Your Diluc, who brings you small trinkets with that lovely smile. Your Diluc, forever yours.

Scaramouche thought that love was like a business deal. Two people come together and realize how they could benefit off each other; that’s what it really is, right? Otherwise, how could you possibly devote your love, your trust, your time, your life to someone? But he gets it now. The moment you got through the smallest crack in his walls, it all came crashing down. The way you knew him, the way you saw right through all his bluffs and best defences. Despite the many roundabouts, you went through the labyrinth to his heart, all because you loved him. Love doesn’t always need a rhyme or reason. Sometimes, you love for the sake of loving. And loving you is one thing he’ll never regret.

Albedo thought there was a formula for love. He thought it could be calculated, predicted. You start as friends, you touch their hand to spark interest, then you flirt and so it goes. It’s ironic, because his love for you was not planned at all. In fact, it hit him like a truck. He didn’t expect any of it at all. He was so stunned that he was in denial for weeks before Kaeya literally had to call out his heart eyes for you. But now, the spontaneity of your relationship is what makes him happiest. What should the two of you do today? Stay home cuddled up in bed? A picnic at Windrise? Perhaps Albedo could draw a portrait of you? The unknown is can be scary, but not with you. And as long as you are by his side, he will go wherever the wind takes him.

Alhaitham thought that all forever loves have to go through some sort of major conflict within their relationship. He thought that you had to fight for your love. He thought that love was something you had to almost die for. When you came around, it’s as if all stars aligned. Every failed love led the two of you together. It’s as if the two of you were molded for each other. From the silent understanding stares or soft smiles from across a room, anyone outside could see the love flowing from the two of you. Of course the two of you had disagreements like any couple, but things never exploded beyond repair. At the end of the day, the two of you knew you’d be okay. Some things are just meant to be, and the two of you are one of them.

[emo-batboy]

thoughts on battinson with his like seven kids and they have to suffer through everyone wanting to fuck him cause have you seen him??

Alright so this response kinda works in a competely separate realm of canon than what I usually post. I’m gonna preface that right now, but BOY do I have thoughts :D

So when I think of Battinson and his (non)accidental orphan acquisition, I see Battinson as being on a much more even playing field emotionally than most other iterations. He’s not really as stoic and put-together, so having kids (especially multiple) would cause a LOT more chaos and drama. So in this case, I like to think that it happens at a very rapid rate. (Again, I’m saying this because this require straying from the film’s canon to a much larger degree than I usually do.) SO by the time he’s 32, he has an 11yo Dick, a 9yo Jason, and an 8yo Tim. And they probably grow with him much like teen parents do with their kids. He’s not as authoritative as most parents. Instead, he starts out as like half older brother, half dad, then graduates to the roll of batdad after his whole vengeance era.

THAT ALL BEING SAID!! BECAUSE THEY’RE SO MUCH OLDER AND BRUCE IS YOUNGER, THEY DEAL WITH A LOOOOTTTTTT OF CREEPY LADIES TRYING GO GET WITH THEIR DAD. (AND THEY ARE VERY. SMART. FOR THEIR AGE)

Dick, older brother and the leader of the “Save Dad and Our Childhood Innocence” brigade teaches the three everything there is to know. He is the most experienced with these awful public events like galas and charity auctions, so he is in control.

And it is SO much easier to get the creepy suitors to back off when they work as a team

Dick talks everyone’s ears off. He’s the golden boy (getting perfect grades and gold medals in his school’s gymnastics team) so he EASILY gets away with distracting people

Dick will insert himself into adult conversations all the time, and Bruce always lets him, which allows Jason and Tim to wreak havoc on whatever target they chose.

Whenever it isn’t too obvious or it’s late enough in the night, Jason will fake a cold or a headache sometimes (he’s prone to falling sick) and Bruce will insist that he take his kid home and tuck him into bed himself, very fatherly

Tim uses his Youngest Child points to woo the nicer ones and direct them away from Bruce, but it doesn’t usually works on the gold diggers (and thank god because Tim HATES acting cute) so he’ll use it on Bruce instead

When those three plans don’t work, the three gremlins start getting Creative TM

Jason, taking a swig from some wine glass and proceeding to spray it all over Vicky Vale’s white dress: “This isn’t grape juice!”

Tim, resident iPad kid and (despite popular belief) The Most Evil of the Three, sees some lady touching his batdad so he finds her phone number on an online directory and prank calls her every time she gets too close

Suitor: “Your father is very handsome.” Dick: “My father’s dead :(” “…” “Oh wait, you mean Bruce! Yeah, he’s nice.”

One lady starts hanging off of Bruce, but he needs to run off to say hello to an investor. Jason appears from nowhere in his dapper little tux and the lady just says, “So uhh, you like the Wiggles, right?” Jason: “Nope! Have you ever read Crime and Punishment? :)”

Dick “accidentally” slaps some obnoxious guests with his wild hand gestures “Oh no! I’m so sorry :(( Let me get you an ice pack” and pulls them away while the other two hide their laughter

One of the ladies who is WAY too comfortable and forward when flirting with Bruce is forced to sit down with Tim and he goes in head first “what are you doing with my dad?” “oh you know what adults do, honey. Messing around, having fun” and he’s like “well My dad doesn’t look interested” “of course he is! who knows? Maybe we’ll hit it off and make another one of you one day” which gives Tim intense psychic damage, but he’s a horrible little brat so he doesn’t give up. He hits her with the innocent doe eyes and asks in the cutest fucking voice “Where do babies come from?” she BOOKS IT (they never see her again)

Anyway, to answer your question: they are little terrors. and Bruce knows they’re little terrors, but he doesn’t care because he hates the creepy attention even more than they do, but this way it comes with a show :D

[heartfullofleeches]

Rodeo reader : Jump!

Yan!bull : this aint a fckin sircus, i aint your do–

Rodeo reader : My good boy, Jump!

Yan!bull : *Jumps* *give extra twirls just to make reader smile more* i ate tht

Handler: I'm really surprised you're able to handle that beast. Nearly crushed my head like a grape the last time I just looked in his direction

You: Oh, yeah- I assume the whole mate thing is a big part, but he just needs a lot of praise to do anything. The only problem is I can't say certain words or he'll think I'm talking about him

Another handler: like what?'

You: Well sometimes I call him a good boy, but just using "good" or "boy" alone gets his attention

[screams erupt from behind you as the bullman barrels through a wall of hay, looking around for you]

You: ... I should probably go now.

[nevermorgue]

Okay but what about modern Amnabel's group food preferences?

cracks knuckles. Alright, let’s get into it.

Annabel Lee - complicated. Annabel likes to have the upper hand in every situation, even in casual afternoon lunch outings. She will adapt to almost anything put in front of her. For example, if she goes to someone’s house and they serve tea and scones, she will claim that they are her favorite. Are they? Who knows. She will play it as if whatever is given is something she enjoys immensely, creating the illusion that the world seems to cater to her- that she got lucky that it was her favorite meal. She does this ALL. THE. TIME. “Oh, they are serving pie. That is one of my favorites.” No it is not. She is just making it seem like it is to create the look that “Wow, how lucky for her. The world seems to love her- they’re serving her favorite food!” You get it? She says it’s her favorite for convenience sake. This is why Prospero brings her so many varied pastries when he can. He’s trying to figure out what she actually likes.

As for what she actually likes: She has a pretty varied palette. She does prefer food that is considered more “common” as it tends to have more flavor, and she absolutely loves American food far more than what she had at home. Is the type of person to eat popcorn one piece at a time, but then resorts to shoving 4-5 pieces in her mouth when she’s invested in whatever she’s doing.

Keeps up appearances by ordering what is expected of her. Teas, light foods with small portions.

- packs snacks throughout her school day like grapes or small cheese cubes. Dainty, barely filling little things.

- She loves spicy foods. Hot curries, salsas, she loooves the burn.

Ada - Also keeps up appearances, but obviously not the same way Annabel does. She will pretend to only like more expensive things, but she honestly thinks such things are too bland. She’s a southern girl used to flavor and savory dishes.

- LOVES cheap frozen dinners. She would rather die than admit this of course. Like think those frozen mac and cheeses you put in the microwave.

- She can and will force herself to eat something she doesn’t like, especially if Annabel/Prospero is eating it.

- Hates squid. Calamari? Yuck.

- She likes to comment on things she eats like she’s doing a shitty food review on Youtube. The only person that listens is Will, but you can’t really tell that he’s even paying attention.

- Loves celery

Prospero - This man has a sweet tooth, but he knows how to keep it tamed. He has a very balanced diet and makes sure to make every lunch or breakfast filling enough to last him through morning classes.

- Salad man. He will put so much shit into a salad. He’ll make days worth of salad and sometimes he and Annabel will just eat the whole thing in between classes.

- His favorite dressing is balsamic vinaigrette.

- Very rarely eats fried foods. Corn dogs are cool and he’s more likely to eat one of those rather than something else fried

- For snacking he always gets the things that are called “thins” or “light”, and he is very strict when it comes to the “no eating three hours before sleeping” rule.

- This man hates cashews

- I HC prospero as a mama’s boy idk i get the vibe. He grew up having homemade pasta and refuses to eat it if the restaurant isn’t like locally Italian.

Montresor - Big on steak. Big on potatoes. Big on veggies when they’re roasted or oven baked or anything where they’re mixed up and peppered and cooked. Dude will eat a raw carrot for fun though

- crunches loudly on chips. he does it on purpose.

- has a surprisingly shitty spice tolerance. It’s not BAD, but his face will get red and he tries to play it off.

- Likes messy finger foods like ribs

- Licorice kind of guy. specifically red.

- Prefers green apples over red ones

- really likes blue cheese, especially for his wings

- cannot STAND marzipan anything

Will - Peaches peaches peaches peaches pea-

- Prefers simpler foods. Basic ham and cheese sandwiches, a bag of chips…normal and boring.

- gets overwhelmed when served anything more complicated than what you’d get at an Applebees. He doesn’t really think he nor his body are suited to eat such things. They’re TOO delicious and he isn’t worth it.

- He loves cheesecake brownies. He’s literally only had them twice in his life but he would go insane if he ever saw any for sale anywhere

- The drinks he gets at coffee shops are considered “girly” to Montresor, so he only buys them when he’s alone. Like fruity refreshers and stuff.

- He would like a lot more food if he actively attempted to try new things, he just has no desire to treat himself.

- eats wheat thins for fun

- Only eats 1 singular fruit for breakfast or just skips it all together.

- would probably start crying if he ate a soup. it’s warm and filling and it makes him feel like a waste of space. the warmth settling in his stomach reminds him that he’s real and he hates it.

[theconstantsidekick]

heyyyy...how are you doing.????

I was just wondering that if you have the idea of writing one shots for static verse , could you.. maybe write something where static takes Bucky as her date to her Harvard reunion...

may be when she was studying , everyone used to be so jealous of her cuz she is basically a sassy smartass...but now in the reunion they are acting so nice because she is a lawyer/avenger.. Definitely faking niceness...

and Jamie boy being too proud of his girl...

The Class of '92 | b.b

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Stark!Reader, Tony Stark x Stark!Reader (siblings)

Genre: Fluffy with a chance of angst.

Summary: Y/n goes to the Harvard Reunion to reap the benefits of the alumni fees she's been giving out for the last three and a half decades.

(This takes place after the events of Static: Get, Set, Glitch. However, it can be read as a stand-alone piece. But it’s fun. I promise.)

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Recreational Drug Use, Mentions of Sex, Minors DNI, 18+ Only.

a/n: I think I strayed a little away from the original premise? I'm sorry?

Bucky Barnes, The Boyfriend (other one-shots) | The Falcon, The Winter Soldier and Static | Static: Get, Set, Glitch | Static Verse Masterlist

If she were being completely honest, she never entertained the idea of going to her class reunions. The whole ‘being-half-alien-aging-like-a-nebula-and-looking-the-same-for-years-on-end’ thing kinda took the wind out of her sails whenever she even thought about accepting the invite.

But that was then. 

Now people know who she is, what she is. No more reasons to hide, no Ross on her ass trying to hunt her down for the Accords, no giant purple grape looking alien knocking at the door threatening to burn the world down, no younger brother constantly being confused as her older brother.

Fuck. She’ll never get used to that.

The moment the invitation popped up on her laptop screen, her first reaction was to call Tony.

“You’ve got Tony Stark. I’m probably busy saving the world or curing a hangover. You can leave a message at the beep but I only get back to people if they’re hot. F.R.I.D.A.Y. will delete your message if you’re not. You’ve been warned.” The pre-recorded voice-message cut off with a beep.

Exhaling harshly, she spoke softly, “I was calling to ask you if you wanted to go to my reunion with me. Free booze, snobby assholes, jealous losers who hate me for being smarter, and did I mention the free booze? Totally your scene.” She fidgeted with the folder on her desk, nervous about a voicemail. “But you’re busy… being a dead dick so… So I guess I’ll just skip it this year as well.”

Life had other plans, though.

Well, her beloved boyfriend James Bucky Barnes did.

“I can go with you?” He offered. 

“What?” she asked him, confused.

“To the reunion,” he answered easily, his eyes still fixed on the omelet he was making for her. “I can go with you. Can’t guarantee I’ll be as fun company as your brother, but I can show you a good time. Pull out all the stops, be the trophy husband of a lifetime.” He smiled at her then. “Only if you want to, though.”

And now here they were. 

“This was a bad idea,” she comments, sipping on her drink.

“Why?” Bucky asks her, more confident than her—which don’t get her wrong was hot as fuck, but very unlike them.

“They’re all… they’re all—”

“Old?” Bucky finished with an amused smile. 

She couldn’t help the smile that slipped out.

He looks good, comfortable and sen-fucking-sational. He’s wearing a black tux with a white shirt and black bowtie. She’d been a little too busy trying to decide what to wear to have noticed him changing into the outfit. Eventually, having finalized on a white twill suit and a blood red silk shirt with a matching tie, she stepped out of her room. And he was a fucking vision.

Looking at him might just be her favourite hobby. She could pursue that shit as a vocation.

“That happens sometimes.” Bucky tells her. “People do get old, you know?”

She looks around at the crowd. They’re at the prime location for people watching, standing at the bar, far in the corner of the vast room. The lights are dim, only sprinkles of yellow scattered around the venue, the rest is overshadowed by a sea of ocean blue. So, she takes the moment, the isolation and takes a while to soak in his words. 

‘People do get old.’

“Yeah… yeah. I know,” she responds solemnly.

He takes a moment too, not to look at the crowd. Bucky seldom looks at anything with interest apart from her. He does the same now, he looks at her, studying the expression on her face. With his assessment done, he says, “I’ve never seen you nervous before.”

“I’m not nervous,” Y/n bites back, scolding him with absolutely no heat whatsoever.

“I’ve never seen you anxious before,” he amends.

Rolling her eyes, “I’m not anxious.”

“Scared?”

She has to look at him then. Brows furrowed, she frowns. 

Bucky throws up his hands instantly, admitting his mistake with an adorable smile.

“I used to steal Bruce’s homemade tacos before he learned to control the Hulk,” she smiles too. “I’m not afraid of anything.”

He takes a step closer to her, his words are softer when he speaks but bold enough for her to hear with ease. Gently placing his hand on the small of her back, he asks, “Then what’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“I wasn’t exactly… well, let’s just say there’s a reason I avoided going to class when I was in college,” she answers. Bucky’s face scrunches up at the insinuation.

But before he can enquire about it any further, before she can warn him, a voice cuts in.

“That was because you used to be a facetious little know-it-all,” the man comments. “You didn��t need the classes anyway.” He smiles, and there is no warmth in it.

Bucky must notice because his arm tightens just a little around her.

This was bound to happen sooner or later. She decides to roll with the punches. She knew what she was getting into when she came here.

“Charles Walton,” she greets him with a smile, just as dead as his. “Been a long time.”

“I’d say the same, but you look exactly the same as you did back then—not a hair out of place. I’m not sure time even passed,” he jokes, or well he tries.

“What can I say? It’s the price of being an Avenger,” she bites back.

He laughs, a hollow thing. “Hey, Milkovich!” He yells out over her head. “Guess who showed up!”

Well, fuck.

That one shout is enough to draw the attention of the entire class of 92. Cause almost instantly there’s a crowd gathered around Bucky and her. There’s chuckles and whispers among them—some are bewildered at her presence while others seem itching to make this a battlefield. 

“Ah, the famous Avenger,” a female voice chimes in. “You're famous around these parts, you know?” She takes a couple steps closer to them. Assessing her from head to toe, “Not just for being an Avenger, but being so elusive that you didn’t show up for a single reunion… But at least now we know why.”

“Nice to see you too, Seline,” Y/n tells her, calm and centered.

“Shit, Stark!” Mickey Milkovitch balks. “You look the fucking same!” 

And fine, she can take it from Milkovich. The guy was always crass but never rude. He just lacked a fucking filter.

So the smile that she smiles is open and kind. “Thanks, Mick. I could say the same about you.” She’s not lying. The guy looks pretty good for his age… and for the copious amount of alcohol she remembers him consuming during every party and every lecture.

“Not as good as you, holy shit! You really don’t age, do you?” He asks and it’s genuine so again, he gets a pass.

Nodding, “Not enough. My telomeres don’t work right, I think. Rest of me is human… mostly.”

And Mickey seems to take a lot of pleasure in her answer—smiling, he holds up his glass to cheers. She meets him with her own glass.

“Can’t lie, it’s a surprise to see you here,” another woman speaks up. “We thought we’d seen the last of you at the graduation.” 

“Sorry to disappoint you, Candace. I saw the invite and I just couldn’t help myself,” Y/n bites back.

“Didn’t have time for us before?” Candace Huston asks.

“Ah.” Y/n never really liked these snobby prep school kids. Even after all these years, they’ve somehow managed to not change at all. She doesn’t know why she expected them to. “I was a little caught up.”

“Saving the world?” Archer Bass suggests, mocking.

“Yes,” Bucky cuts in before she can form some modest version of that answer. She can always count on him to stump the opposition while she reloads. “That’s the day job. Doesn’t pay as well as whatever it is you guys have been doing. And oh! Odd hours, really odd. But it’s good work, wouldn’t you say, sweetheart?”

She smiles, finding comfort in the warmth of his gaze. “Could’ve been worse. Could’ve been a Personal Injury Lawyer.” Bucky smiles at that and fuck if that doesn’t just rile her up. “Oh! I almost forgot, this is my boyfriend—”

She’s cut off by Charles ‘Chickenshit’ Walton, “The Winter Soldier. We know who he is.”

“At least he’s a looker,” Seline snickers. “I’ll give you that.”

“The two of you make a great couple—The Winter Soldier and Static, ex assassin and ex assassin,” Candace adds with a snide smile. There’s more catty bullshit like that from the rest of the crowd but she kinda zones out.

And fuck it all to hell.

Her entire college life was avoiding these fools.

All her life she’d watched shows about the shitshow that is high school. She hadn’t attended it, of course but Harvard was supposed to be her first try. It was supposed to be her playing her hand at being utterly and completely normal, one with the crowd. College wasn’t supposed to be as brutal as highschool but not as uncaring as a desk job. It was supposed to be an easy middle between the two. Part of her was excited even. But the reality wasn’t all that movies made it out to be.

They were snobs, the fucking lot of them. Always looking at every tiny little detail, studying it a microscope, planning and scheming to find a chink in her armour just to break her down. She didn’t understand why then. Why they didn’t like her, why she was the outsider. Because despite everything she wasn’t exactly that different from them, not to their knowledge at least. Howie was fucking loaded, ipso facto she was too. None of them knew her past but everytime they looked at her their eyes were always hungry, always searching for some weakness.

She gets it now.

It wasn’t hunger. It wasn’t some twisted version of distrust.

It was straight up jealousy.

They were jealous of her.

They were jealous of her back then and if possible they are even more jealous of her now.

Y/n just laughs. She can’t help it, okay? It’s hilarious.

She really, genuinely believed at one point in her life that these fucking dipshits would figure out her secret, when all they were looking for was a way to top the class. These are some of the smartest individuals she’s come across—graduates of Harvard Law. Fuck! They were just kids fighting for brownie points when she was fighting for her freedom. God fucking damn it, she’s been so damn dumb. 

So she laughs.

Bucky looks at her for a second, raises his brow in concern. She waves her hand at him, letting him know she’s fine. It’s just funny.

“Something funny, Stark?” Archer asks, wearing a smile on his face that contradicts his tone which is just a little too shrill to be considered calm.

She shakes her head but continues chuckling.

“Don’t wanna share it with the rest of the class?” Charles bites. “Guess some things just don’t change.”

Y/n laughs a little harder. “My god, Charlie. You sure I’m the only one not aging here? Cause you sound like a sullen teenager.” She waves off his response before he can even form one. “Anyway, as I was saying, this is my boyfriend, Sergeant James Buchanon Barnes.” She drops a kiss on his cheek. “You can call him Sergeant Barnes… Well, except Milkovich. He’s just Barnes to you, Mick.”

Mickey seems pleased with her words, “Nice to meet you, Barnes.” He extends his hand to Bucky who takes it without hesitation. “Always thought your arm was really cool.” 

That one throws Bucky a little. He looks back at her, eyes big and a sneaky curve of his lip. It screams, ‘Where the fuck did you find this guy?’ But like she said, no filter on that one. 

“Why does Milkovitch get special treatment?” Seline rebukes her.

Y/n just shrugs. “Cause he wasn’t a dick to me in college?” Isn’t it obvious?

“Excuse me?” Candace exclaims like the hit was personal. “We were never anything but generous, which was more than what you deserved considering the shit you pulled.”

“One, that is wildly inaccurate. You were all dicks, all of you. But I don’t think I blame you for it, pompous kids do what pompous kids see. And two, what shit did I pull?” She waves at the bartender asking for a refill.

“You are seriously going to pretend you don’t know?” Archer throws back.

Taking the last sip from her drink she sets the now empty glass down on the nearest table. “Yes, enlighten me.”

“You were sleeping with Professor Keating to get the answers to all the tests,” Charles answers, disdain clear on his face.

“I—” She looks from his face to Bucky's, who feigns shock before breaking into a smile.

Charles cuts her off. “You hid it well enough but everyone knew you spent most of the free time between classes in his office. You scored well in every single one of his tests, which were impossible to crack and he was always so very eager to call on you in class.” He scoffs. “We were never able to find any concrete evidence to pin you down, we’ll give you that. But that doesn’t mean we were naive enough not to see it.”

“I—” She begins laughing again. “Professor Keating.” Fuck.

“What’s so fucking funny, Stark?” Archer pushes her. Well, he tries but before he can grab the collar he was reaching for, Bucky’s metal arm is already pulling him off.

“Easy there, cowboy,” Bucky warns.

“Get your hands off me!” Archer tries to brush Bucky off, pushing him back, trying desperately to get out of his grip, but come on. It’s Bucky. “What do you think you’re doing?!” 

“Saving you the ass beating of a lifetime, buddy boy. Be glad it’s me and not her,” Bucky comments causally as he twists Archer’s arm behind his back.

“It’s fine, Sunshine. Let him go,” she coos at him sweetly.

And because he’s Bucky, he urges Archer to take a few steps away from her and then simply lets him go.

“Are you still mentally unstable?! How dare you touch me? I’m gonna sue your Nazi ass for that!” Archer warns. 

“I mean, you can try. But he’s got a great lawyer,” Y/n tells him, grabbing her new drink from the waiter. She takes a sip. “Got him pardoned for countless assassinations. You think assault is where I lose that battle?” The blood drains from Archer’s face, all the color is gone. “And as for the Professor Keating matter,” she giggles again, before forcing herself to compose. “He was ex-KGB. I used to hang out with him after class to find out if he knew the updated location of HYDRA bases.”

“Ex-KGB?” Seline asks, just as pale as Archer.

“You expect us to buy that bullshit story? His name was Arthur Keating for Christ’s Sake!” Candace shouts.

“Which he changed when he asked for political asylum here. His real name was Boris Levitsky. His family was murdered by HYDRA when he couldn’t free some official high in their ranks. After that he was fairly willing to spill all about them,” Y/n explains.

“To a college student?” Charles question, clearly not buying it.

“To an undercover S.H.I.E.L.D. operative,” she corrects.

“You were an undercover S.H.I.E.L.D. operative back then?” Bucky asks her, reclaiming his position next to her with a steady arm around her waist.

“No,” she tells him. “But he didn’t know that.”

Bucky’s face breaks into a proud smile. The sprinkles of yellow around the venue seem to be attracted to her sun. They fall softly on his face, lighting up the curve of his cheekbones, the smile lines around his lips. He seems so much more comfortable in his skin than he used to before. And he shines brighter, if that was even possible. She thinks maybe she’ll have to carry sunglasses around from now on.

“How the fuck did you score so well then?” Seline question, furious at the revelation.

“Did you guys ever think maybe she’s just that fucking smart?” Bucky throws out, kissing her forehead. “My sweetheart’s a fucking genius!” He leans in closer. “A lesser man would be very intimidated by that, you know?”

He’s so close, she can taste his scent on the tip of her tongue. The smell of summer in the woods, and remnants of leather. It drives her insane.

“A lesser man, huh?” She teases. “You’re not intimidated by it then?”

“Oh I am,” he tells her. “Just not very intimidated.”

God, he’s so fucking beautiful.

“Hey! Lovebirds! We’re not done here,” Charles jumps in. 

Rolling her eyes and reluctantly turning back to face the asshat, she asks, “What do you want?”

“Winter Soldier here might think you’re all that, but I know better.” He looks like he’s about to spontaneously combust into flames purely out of anger. “You’re not that smart. Unlike you, some of us worked hard to get where we are. We didn’t rely on fake daddy’s money to make something of ourselves.”

Now that’s just stupid. “Charlie… Come on, man. Howard Stark was not my father, he was my best friend, I just needed a cover. And his money got me nowhere. And, and! The fucker went and got killed before I even graduated.” Bucky’s head falls at the mention, but her time at college was too closely knit to his passing for her to not mention it. “But even after all that if you think I got in because he bribed the board—I didn’t fucking graduate Summa Cum Laude by kicking my feet and batting my eyelashes. I barely came to college to even do that with perfect follow through. That was my dropping-acid-and-doing-fireball-shots phase. I’m surprised to be alive, honestly.” She takes a step towards him. “Maybe in retrospect it seems like everything was handed to me on a silver platter now that my life seems so glorious on the outside, but that wasn’t the case, dude. Part of me wanted to be a lawyer so I could fight for my freedom if the time ever came.”

“Freedom from what, Stark?!” He yells out. “Your life is fucking perfect! You’re an Avengers, governments step aside to make way for you. You’ve got a super hot boyfriend who can clearly throw a punch, what more could you possibly want?” 

Tony.

I want my brother back.

The answer is right there, on the tip of her tongue. But they don’t need to know it. They don’t really deserve it. Not their fault—most people don’t. 

So, instead she steps back, clasps her hands into Bucky’s. “Nothing, actually. You’re right. I couldn’t ask for more.” Someone in the back catches her eye then. “Lighten up, Charlie.” She looks around at the rest of them. “You’re supposed to be the brightest minds of the nation, not petty fucking 6th graders. Lighten the fuck up, kids. I assure you there are worse things to be than fucking Harvard graduates.” She pulls Bucky by the hand and this hunk of a man follows along without an ounce of hesitation, as always. She yells out without turning “I’d say it was nice to see you guys, but it really fucking wasn’t.” But then her steps halt. She turns, “All except you, Milkovitch. It really was nice to see you again. Call me sometime, we should catch up.”

“I don’t have your number,” Mickey replies innocently.

She smiles. “Fine then, I’ll call you.”

“You don’t have my number.”

Her smile just turns mischievous.

Mickey picks up instantly. “Of course,” he says, a little embarrassed. “World class spy—I forgot.”

Hugging the man quickly, she turns and grabs Bucky by the hand again and begins walking off.

“This was amazing! Let’s do this again next year,” Bucky yells out, waving at the gaping faces they’ve left behind.

“Shut up, James.” She hushes him without heat.

“Where you taking me, sweetheart?” He asks, but there is no real curiosity in his question.

So she says as much. “You don’t really seem that curious about it.”

“I’m asking for the fuck of it—to hear you talk. I love hearing you talk.”

“Sap.” She’s smiling.

“I’ll follow you anywhere, don’t care where you take me,” he promises. 

They’ve stopped walking, her target is in her eyesight so she’s all too worried. So she takes the moment to drink him in.

“FUCKING SAP,” she chides, pushing him a little.

Bucky (pretends to) stumble. “Only for you. Always for you,” he tells her, honest and true. He covers the distance between them with a few short steps. His hand comes to caress her jaw, gently—always so gently. He leans in. His lips brush against her as he speaks, “Till the end of my days, sweetheart.”

“Till the end of mine,” she corrects him and then closes the gap.

The best thing about kissing Bucky is that it always feels like the first time. No matter however many times she kisses this boy, every time it feels overwhelmingly new. It feels like her mind is melting, like she’s turning to mush under his hands—one flesh, the other metal. He always knows how to give her exactly what he craves, maybe because she mostly just craves him.

With one hand on her cheek, the other on the small of her back, Bucky pulls her in closer. His tongue tastes of whiskey, but his lips are all him. They are delectable enough to eat. It takes everything in her not to bite down too hard. But she can’t resist the urge to pull his lip between her teeth, biting just hard enough to leave them red. He kindly obliges by slipping his tongue into the mix. He’s so hungry for her, he’s always so fucking hungry for her.

Absent-mindedly she thinks maybe he feels it too. The inexplicable newness in the repeated action of kissing each other. Because hunger like that—hunger like his, seems insatiable. She would give away all of herself to it. Let him consume her whole. She will do just that… Just not here, not now.

Reluctantly, with great strength and determination, she pulls herself away. 

Bucky, this fucker, whimpers. “What?” He whines.

She can’t help but chuckle. “I need to one thing then we can just get the fuck out of here and do more of that—a lot more of that.”

He pretends to think for a second but she already knows she’s won him over. “Fine,” he says after a beat. “What do you need?”

“An answer,” she tells him, before fixing herself a bit and walking over to the woman who’d caught her eye before. 

She’s a tall woman, short black hair—a pixie cut that she pulls off flawlessly. She’s standing alone, smoking in the open area of the venue, looking out at the scene ahead of them.

Y/n approaches her cautiously. “Jeri Hogarth,” she calls out, making the woman turn. “You’re a hard woman to reach.”

“Y/f/n Stark.” Jeri doesn’t even turn to look at her. She keeps on staring straight ahead, smoking. “Did you ever consider, maybe I didn’t want to be reached?”

Y/n lets go of Bucky’s hand, but not before giving it a gentle press as a promise to come back soon. She walks up next to Jeri. “I did consider that possibility, but couldn’t bring myself to care about it, unfortunately.”

And then, finally Jeri turns to look at her, “What do you need for me? I mean it must be something big if you decided to show up here.”

Y/n shrugs. “It’s not big, I wouldn't say. I think it’s more that it’s… urgent?” That seems to intrigue Jeri, she cocks her brow in question. And Y/n answers, “I need to speak with Danny Rand.”

That seems to throw Jeri off. “I—I don’t know where he is. Besides, if you want his business—”

“It’s not about Rand Enterprises, Hogarth.” She clicks her tongue in disappointment. Nothing that fucking arbitrary would bring her here. “I want to talk to Danny’s friend. I want to talk to the Iron Fist.”

“I don’t—” Jeri looks like she’s at a loss for words which, yeah, a fairly new look on her. Y/n had very rarely seen Jeryn Hogarth lose her calm in class. They shared a lot of them, and while she wasn’t exactly kind to Y/n, she wasn’t unkind either.

“I know that you know, Jeri. I also know about Jessica Jones and… Kilgrave.” Y/n doesn’t want to be unkind to her either. “I am sorry about what happened…” Jeri just looks away. “I wouldn’t ask you if it was important, and I wouldn't be looking for Danny if it wasn’t urgent. But I need to talk to him.”

“And you think I can help?” Jeri challenges, finally finding her ground.

But Y/n isn’t here for a fight. “I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t know you could.”

“Why should I?”

“I don’t have a very good reason for that. I don’t think I have anything of value to you that I could even barter with? But I’ll owe you one,” Y/n offers.

“You’ll owe me one?” She asks, unconvinced.

Y/n shrugs. “Yes.”

“And that’s supposed to be good enough?”

For the second time tonight, Y/n just wears a mischievous smile with furrowed brows. 

Jeri seems to understand her without any words being spoken. “Yeah. That’s good enough.” She nods. “Okay, I can try to get a message to him, but there is no guarantee that he’ll respond.”

“He’ll respond,” Y/n answers easily.

Jeri eyes her suspiciously. “So, what’s the message?”

“Just tell him we need to talk,” Y/n answers.

“That’s all?”

“What else am I supposed to fucking say? The peacock rests peacefully in the moonlight?! This isn’t Mission Impossible. I’m not Tom Cruise. I just wanna talk to the dude,” Y/n rebukes.

“Fine,” Jeri tries to calm her down half-heartedly, turning back to the view ahead of her.

“Thanks, Hogarth,” Y/n says one last time before heading out.

Jeri takes out a fresh cigarette and lights it. “Just remember you owe me one.”

With that out of the way, Bucky and Y/n leave the reunion of the class of '92, hand in hand. It’s much later when they’re out for ice cream does Bucky ask the question she had been anticipating the entire night.

“Something was off tonight—before the whole sleeping with the teacher thing.” 

She chuckles at his words. “Was there?” She asks.

“Yeah,” he doesn’t let her dodge it. “You wanna talk about it?” He does give her the option to opt out. He’s so considerate, how can she deny him anything?

They are sitting on the curb outside the 24 hour ice cream shop. They are bathed in the harsh light from the streetlight. Bucky, she thinks, somehow manages to still look pretty in that. He has a chocolate ice-cream cone in his hand that’s melting away at a matching speed to the vanilla cone in hers. They’d spent a little too long lost in each other’s mouths to focus on the ice-cream in a timely fashion. Both of them are now trying to furiously make up for that.

It takes her a moment to find the words. “I… It’s hard looking around at the room and seeing so many people who are… who are…”

“Old?” Bucky supplies again.

She shakes her head, laughing and trying to lick the ice cream off the cone—save it from falling. “No, Jamie. Not that.”

“Then?” He prompts, leaning to lick the leftover ice cream off her fingers.

Taking in a long breath, she musters up her courage and begins. “Tony’s the same age as Milkovitch. Or well, Tony would have been.” Bucky’s eyes turn softer in an instant. “It’s weird to see it—people who used to be young, who used to look like me, a crowd that I could have blended into seamlessly become old and gray. I mean, I lived it with Tony but I was there to see it day in and day out. He aged in front of my eyes, so it felt—it felt…”

“Natural?” Bucky offers.

And yeah. Yeah, it did. So, she nods. “Natural,” she agrees. “I remember when I noticed his first gray hair,” she laughs. “I freaked the fuck out but I didn’t want to tell him, cause that seemed fucking shallow, you know? I tried to hide it but man, I don’t think I was doing a good job ‘cause two days later the poor kid had dyed it black—that one single strand.” Bucky laughs too. “I think he figured out why it was freaking me out and that was his way of—I don’t know—calm me down, maybe?” She clicks her tongue at the thought. “The wrinkles were an easy adjustment. It began with smile lines, crinkles around his eyes every time he’d laugh at a joke, so it was…”

“Comforting?” Bucky suggests, once again giving her the words she can’t seem to find.

She rests her head on his shoulder then, “Yes. It was okay after that—especially after Pepper. Watching him age began feeling like a privilege. It felt like he was growing old instead of, you know, dying?”

Bucky nods. “Are you worried about that now? With me?” She punches him in the side. “FUCK! What was that for?”

She pulls back to face him, “I am not thinking about that shit yet!”

“Oh I’m sorry!” Bucky yells out annoyed and animated. “I was just drawing the LOGICAL conclusion to the conversation, but of course, that was stupid.”

“You’re such a little shit, James,” she rebukes him, shoving him and getting back on her feet.

“I’m a shit?! What did I do?!” He gets up as well. “We keep making grand promises about how we’ll love each other to the end of your days because you’ll obviously live longer.”

“BUCKY, DON’T SAY THAT!” She begins walking towards their motorbike parked in the parking lot.

He follows behind, “It’s not breaking news, Y/n! It’s inevitable.”

“Bucky!”

“But I have a plan!”

That makes her halt. She turns to face him, he almost runs into her. “What’s the plan?”

He smiles all cheeky and insolent. “Freeze me for a decade once in a while.” She can’t believe her ears.”Put me in the fridge every ten years or so for a decade and then pull me out. I’m also open to being in the freezer for a year with a two year gap in the middle as well.” She wants to punch him again. “I haven’t done the math on which will make me live longer but both will definitely extend my lifespan significantly.” She is going to punch him again. “I age a little slower anyway, this was I think we could extend this relationship into the next millennium at leas—” She punches him again. “FUCK! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ONE FOR NOW?” 

Turning around, she begins walking off again. “You’re not ice-cream, Jamie. I’m not fucking freezing you!” She cans the ice-cream in her hand, having lost her appetite.

He follows her again. “I have another plan!”

“Shut up, Barnes!”

“What if we ask Banner to make me body like you guys did for Vision?! Put my consciousness in there?” Bucky asks as they reach their motorbike.

She pulls out the keys, handing them off to Bucky. “What made him capable of emotions was the Mind Stone, you got any spare of those lying around?”

Bucky hops on the bike and then thinks for a second, “Steve told me you guys put Zola in a big computer kinda thing.” She gets on behind him. “What if we did that? I know our sex life might suffer but—”

She punches him right under his ribs..

“STOP FUCKING PUNCHING ME! These ideas are golden.”

She punches him again.

Find other one-shots here. Find other Static Verse works here. tag list : @aryksworld @freeflyingphoenix @arikarapli @just-anotherstan @justab-eautifulmess @ceo-of-daichi @liketearsintherainn @paintballkid711 @starkleila @heyitsmereading @fairlygothparents @euphoria-svt @sidepartskinnyjeans @mini-kunoichi @third-broparcelicito @siwiecola @haleybutnotthecomet @mvaldez7821 @rockybutmakeitlame @romanoffswoman @ashpeace888 @hopeofwinter @percabethfangirl987 @lilfuturescars @hailqueenconquer

hit me up if you want to be added to the tag list.

[cinnaminyoons]

!!   jungkook

[ event masterlist ] 

assassins after the same target

alone in the darkroom together

“here to finish me off?”

"i'm going to kill you, ln jungkook."

"wait, nobody told me we're married – babe—"

"don't you dare 'babe' me after ignoring all my texts and declining all my calls," you interrupt with a growl, looming over him as he shrinks back against the wall. "who the fuck do you think you are? you stole my kill."

with an awkward smile, illuminated just barely by the red light in the corner of the darkroom, jungkook says, "i don't know if you're talking about last night's call of duty round or this morning's fiasco."

"fias—" you suck in a hissed breath, pinching the bridge of your nose with the hand not trapping him in place. it needs to be there. jungkook is very good at escaping when he wants to be. "you killed my mark!"

"but you said we share everything," he mumbles cluelessly. "our jobs are the same, so i thought you'd appreciate it if i checked him off your list for you. y'know – acts of service as a love language?"

"that applies to washing the dishes or refilling my gas tank," you sigh, "not stealing your boyfriend's contracts."

he twiddles his thumbs, a tiny pout pursing his lips as he stares at your shoes. or the shadow of them, really – it's much too dark to see a whole lot. he wishes you'd let him step outside for this conversation. "i'm sorry, baby... i just wanted to help out, you know? you're always so busy and i miss you sometimes. like, i know that basically being your househusband would keep me from seeing you as often, but it's hard not to get sad when you're halfway across the world and the only thing i have of you are your clothes. i killed him so that we could spend more time together..."

you can't handle how adorably pathetic he looks, on the verge of tears. your anger dissipates with a breath. you bring him into your arms and kiss his temple, feeling his fists twist in the back of your jacket. he buries his soft, sweet face in your shoulder with a quiet sniffle.

"don't cry, doll," you murmur, stroking his soft, glossy hair. you twirl a lock between your fingers. "i'm sorry for blowing up at you earlier. i was worried that they'd trace and find you because of who that guy was. i was taking my time on purpose, and you just strolled in and popped his head like a grape."

he smiles, nosing your neck. he kisses the curve of it and pulls back with bright, sparkling eyes. "it's okay, baby. i should've asked you first. i'm a big boy – nobody is tracking me. i learnt from the best, after all."

he taps your chest and you smile softly, brushing his messy hair out of his eyes. they hold the galaxy, red dwarves and quantum foam and everything in between. you kiss his eyelids. 

“that you did, dollface. that you did."

you turn towards jungkook's chemical setup, the tubs holding rolls and enlarged prints of your life with him, placing your arm around his little waist. "how's everything going? will we be able to hang these up soon?"

"they're chugging along nicely," he replies softly, hooking his thumb into the belt loop of your crisp black trousers. you're still dressed up from the flight you took a few hours ago to return to him. "just a minute or two more – i can't remember, need to check the clock. then i can start with the fixer and the washes, and we'll be able to take a peek tomorrow and scan them up. i already have one in mind that i'd like to set my profile picture to – i hope it came out well."

"i'm sure it's gorgeous," you hum, "just like you."

he laughs, separating from you to wander closer to the bench, checking the clock. he hovers around the tubs, watching the second hand closely and extracting a roll and a print at the exact moment the hand touches the twelve. he submerges them in the next tubs along the bench. "thanks, baby. i was, um, really scared if you'd kill me. as in, honest-to-god murder me. your opening sentence didn't help, either. i planned this whole, like, dramatic scene for if you were really upset – i was gonna say, 'here to finish me off?' and turn around in a spinny chair and you'd laugh and everything would be okay again."

you chuckle, eyes crinkling, and wrap your arms around him as he transfers the final roll in the dedicated 'wash' basin. "you know me so well. i wouldn't have been able to be angry at you."

he giggles, twirling around and pecking your lips. "mmhm." he entwines his fingers with yours, and his smile sparkles like the diamonds he adores so much. "i love you, baby. i always will."

"i love you, too, kook. once i have a shower, we can do whatever you like to spend those hard-won hours together." he gasps in delight and you grin. "let's watch the first iron man. that one always makes you turn into such a cutie."

"ba-by," he whines, blushing. he's never been more relieved that the room is both dark and lit  by red – the same colour as his cheeks, he's certain. "you're so mean to me."

"sorry." you kiss his cheek. "it's my love language."

[jeonqkooks]

kyoho | ksj

You love your grape boy, and your grape boy... well, he might just love you a little too much.

pairing: seokjin x f!reader

rating: pg13

genre/warnings: established relationship, swearing bc when is there no swearing in my fics, mentions of seggs, suggestive themes, fluff, crack?? idk, my brand of fics is Unedited y'all know that's how we roll

word count: 1.8k

notes: i've been buying a lot of grapes lately (am i a grape person now??) and i've been eating them almost every day and of course i had to think about grape jinnie my beloved, my ultimate favorite seokjin and i want him to come back to me :((( idk that's how this lil thang came to me lmao it's the most crackhead shit i've ever written sOoOoOoOo please laugh or else ! 👿 jk but not really

— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

"If you do this, we're done."

"Y/N."

"I swear, if you go through with this, we are over!"

Seokjin sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, clearly not expecting you to be so passionate about the subject at hand. "The appointment is in an hour," he says.

"Cancel it. I don't care!" you cry. "Please don't do this. Don't take him away. He means the world to me."

Your boyfriend stares at you, mouth agape, then points to his head incredulously. "Him? My hair?"

"Yes!" You crawl over to his side of the couch to straddle his lap, actual tears welling in your eyes. You run your fingers through his hair, marveling at how soft and silky it feels in your hands. His gorgeous, gorgeous purple locks. The ones he's ready to sacrifice in favor of half blond, half red hair by demand of one Jeon Jungkook.

You shouldn't be this upset over him dyeing his hair, but you are, despite knowing full well that the purple will be gone soon anyway. His dark roots are starting to show already.

It's shark week, and there are not enough words in the dictionary to express how devastated you are that he's taking away your emotional support Grape Jinnie.

A couple months ago, when he told you that he'd be dyeing his hair purple, you were highly skeptical of the decision. You didn't know if he had the face to pull off purple of all colors, even though you had already seen him sport every other color of the rainbow and absolutely rocked every single one.

The whole week leading up to his salon appointment, you teased him endlessly - started calling him Grape Boy, bought him box after box of Kyoho grapes, photoshopping Kylie Jenner's purple hair onto his head and making it your lockscreen... It was mostly just grape puns, you were really milking that whole thing.

But then he came home, hair freshly bleached and colored, and your jaw dropped to the ground and stayed there for ten whole minutes.

Your eyes almost fell out of their sockets from how good he looked.

No, he didn't just look good. He was stunning, breathtaking, mindbogglingly beautiful and all the other synonyms that one could name.

The man fucking ate and left no crumbs.

That night was one of the best sex you two have ever had.

To say that you were obsessed with this shade on him is the understatement of the year.

"Don't do it," you plead. "If you really love me, you won't do it."

"You're being so dramatic. It's just hair." Seokjin puts his hands on your waist while you keep yours on his head, clutching his strands like a lifeline. "Plus, I have to honor the bet!"

Your expression turns stony then, as your eyes travel from the silky purple down to his face. You tighten your grip on his hair and tug on it sharply until your boyfriend is scowling in discomfort.

The bet. The stupid fucking bet he made with Jungkook.

You had explicitly told him there no chance in hell that he could win, but Seokjin could be an overly confident asshole sometimes.

He was in way over his head, and now you're the one suffering.

"You idiot," you hiss, pulling on his hair again, "why the fuck did you think you could do more pushups than Jungkook?"

"I don't know! We were tipsy and it seemed possible at the time!"

Releasing his hair, you tuck your face into the crook of his neck and inhale deeply.

"Why am I being punished for your actions?" you mumble against his skin, then you ask, voice full of futile hope. "What if you just... don't do it?"

"Then I have to buy him a new mattress. He cut his mattress with scissors to make it fit into his bed frame and now it's all fucked up."

You give yourself a minute to think. There has to be a solution to your distress. You just gotta think. Think, brain, think!

And then you remember. Seokjin is still a man.

You lean back to look at him properly, straightening your position on his lap. You give him your biggest puppy dog eyes before you say, "I promise I will blow you every day from now on if you keep the hair."

If he was drinking water, you're fairly certain that he would've choked. Your boyfriend's eyes widen in surprise, his skin turning a dozen shades warmer, blushing from his cheeks all the way to the top of his ears.

Bingo.

"What?" he asks, like this is something so scandalous.

You lean forward to pepper kisses all over his face, putting more weight on your offer. "I promise," you say, pecking his cute cheek, "to blow you," then his forehead, "every single day," then his nose, "from now on," and finally his lips.

You linger near his mouth, not pulling away just yet. Your lips brush against his once more until you feel his hands tighten on your waist. You wrap your arms around his neck to hold him closer as you press forward, giving him a proper kiss to seal the deal.

Seokjin practically melts underneath you. Victory is so close that you can taste it. You're doing this for the greater good of mankind, for Grape Jinnie. Jungkook can fuck off with his half seasoned, half fried bullshit.

But then, Seokjin abruptly rips away from you to shriek, nearly blowing your eardrums out. The suddenness of his movements almost make you tumble off the couch.

"No, don't try to tempt me! Mattresses are expensive as fuck!"

It's been a few hours. He should be back any minute now.

Ever since Seokjin left to go to his hair appointment after having to peel you off of him because you were clinging to his body like a goddamn koala, you've been wallowing in your misery. You even busted out the big guns - Ben & Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup ice cream (with real peanut butter cups!) - to help you through this difficult time.

You're in full grieving mode now. Goddamnit. Fate is a cruel mistress.

Or in this case, Jungkook. Jungkook is a cruel mistress. That fucking guy.

When you hear the door open and the subsequent clanging of Seokjin's keys as he hangs them on one of the hooks in the entryway, you prepare to give him the biggest pout you can manage.

But then, he comes into view a few seconds later, and you gasp. You actually gasp. Before he knows what's happening, you're rising from the couch and sprinting toward him, launching into his arms with the biggest smile on your face like a kid on Christmas morning.

"You're still a grape!" you squeal joyously.

Seokjin lets out a surprise Oof! at the sudden force of your body knocking the breath out of him.

"What a warm welcome," he mutters. "I don't think you've ever been this happy to see me."

"What happened?!" you ask, eyes wide, grin even wider. "Did you change your mind because you love me so much?"

You run your hands through his hair to make sure that it's real, that you're not hallucinating this because you just love the purple so goddamn much.

And it is! It's still here! His hair is still that luscious shade of purple that you adore with your entire being.

Seokjin eyes you for a moment before he says, "I compromised with Jungkook. Did something else instead."

"What did you do?"

"I got a tattoo."

"You what?!"

"He said I wouldn't have to dye my hair if I got a tattoo of his choosing."

"Oh, no," you try to sound sympathetic but fail miserably. You cover your mouth with your hand to hide your smile, already sensing the absolute crackhead chaos that will ensue in a matter of minutes. Having been friends with Jungkook for years, you know that dude comes up with the craziest shit sometimes.

Seokjin turns around and pulls up his shirt, and you almost die from the fit of ugly snorting laughter that immediately rips itself free from your mouth. His skin underneath the transparent cling film is still slightly red, but the letters adorning the expanse of his lower back is clear as day.

You cannot find it in yourself to blink, not when the black ink is just staring at you like that. The font, so formal and classic, and yet the content of it... what a contrast.

"Kim Seokjin!" you wheeze, wiping tears from your eyes and struggling to catch your breath. "How could you possibly think that this is a better idea than to just dye your hair!"

"You begged me to keep the hair!"

"I did," you agree, clutching your stomach as giggles continue wracking through your whole body. It's almost painful at this point. "But I don't want my boyfriend to have a tramp stamp that says fucking Chicken in Times New Roman!"

"It was either this," he says, turning back to face you, "or a sketch of his head on a chicken's body."

"What is up with him and chickens? Is that his new thing now?"

"I don't fucking know!"

"Well, thank you for doing that for me," you say appreciatively as you pull him in for a kiss, which isn't very graceful because you're still tittering the whole time. "But please tell me that's not permanent."

Seokjin stays quiet, his eyes dropping to the floor, and you stop laughing immediately.

"Oh my god," you say. "Is the Chicken tramp stamp permanent?!"

"No," he finally admits after a moment of hanging it over your head. As funny as the whole thing is, you do not want the love of your life to walk around sporting the most ridiculous tattoo in human history. "It's supposed to fade after a month."

You lean into him again, heaving a giant sigh of relief and wrapping your arms around his neck. One of your hands go for his hair again, weaving through the soft locks with your fingers because how could you not? "I love you, Grape," you say, pecking his cheek with a grin.

Seokjin rolls his eyes affectionately, but returns a peck to your own cheek. "I have a tramp stamp of the word Chicken and my parents might disown me for that, but at least you get to keep your Grape Boy," he says, making you giggle again.

"Because you love me so much, right?"

"Hmm. You're lucky I do."

You give him another kiss, one full of gratitude, for indulging your antics. When you move to return to the couch, Seokjin tugs on your wrist, pulling you back into him.

"Now correct me if I'm wrong," he says, acting all coy and shit, "but I recall you making me a promise earlier, no? What was it again?"

— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 16.04.2023]

[pinkcherryblossomphonecase]

TRIGGER WARNING!!!

I may not put these warnings on a lot, but this backstory includes heavy and sensitive topics such as: brainwashing, kidnapping, torture, grape, and overall abuse in general.

A Pathetic Dog

@tatsuhikoshibusawa

@oscarsgallery

I'm not supposed to be here...

All I remember is being shot down in the battlefield. The dirt beneath my face, as my eyes grow heavy from bleeding out. A bullet through the shoulders, if I didn't move out in time it would have been a head shot, which would have been devastating to..... what's his name again?

I can't even remember now. I can't remember much anymore. Why? Why can't I remember his name? His face? I felt like I'm supposed to remember someone's but I can't.

Why am I here again?

What is my purpose here again?

How am I not dead?

The floor is so cold, along with these chains. I can't see anything in here, all for except my papers and crayons. My only source of entertainment. I guess I should be grateful that my masters have blessed me with this gift, now I can draw myself marrying them!

I love them so much, I would do anything for them! Sure it may have taken some adjusting to, but I don't remember much other than the head pats and being called a good boy. Serving them is my life's purpose, after all they did save me from the battlefield and gave me a blood transfusion. It's only right if I return the favor.

Or else they might hit me again.....

I laid on the floor of my "room", doodling away with the pink crayon, until the door opened. There stood in the doorway was one of my masters. He had a scowl on his face and a cigarette between his fingers, it seemed like he was having a bad day when he didn't respond so positively to my smile.

"What are you smiling at me for you mutt?! Get your lazy butt to work. We have guests coming over and we need you to prepare everything." He snarled at me. I continue to smile despite his unhappy attitude.

"Of course master! Anything for you. Dinner will be a fine steak and mushrooms. Though my legs....." I gesture to the chains that hold my legs down to the wall.

Master rolled his eyes again, coming over and stomping on one of my crayons. He yanked me up and unlocked the chains. I felt the familiar cold steel of the gun point to my back. He forced me to get walking, or else.

It's always been like this. Apparently in the past I was dangerous, and tried to hurt my masters in the past, which is why there's now a safety precaution. I hurt them because I tried to leave. But that's when I was adjusting, now I have no desire to hurt them! Why hurt someone that you love? Especially when they love you back?

Besides they'll hurt me if I tried fighting again.

I can't leave, can I?

Upon the dim musky rooms of the back part of our "home" the front part is much more nicer and clean. Mostly because I do most, if not all of the cleaning. I see my 5 other master, some of them wear cool black gear and have guns! I can't remember all of their names, I liked to give them nicknames like mint, white hair, shark, etc. But I see my favorite master, X! I don't know X's name but he wears a fancy suit and smokes a lot as well.

X is my favorite because he gives me head pats when I do what he says. Sometimes he even gives me a quarter of his dessert if I'm extra good! I believe X likes me more than my other masters. He's always holding me by the waist, I think it's a hug. Always making me sit on his lap. Playing with my hair. Giving me praise and compliments!

He's so nice!

Expect when he tells me to wear the white robe... and to meet me in his room.

I don't mind doing it for him....

Because if I don't he'll duck tape my mouth shut and beat me....

It took some adjusting to but I events learned how to enjoy it. Along with all the other activities they want me to do!

I give a bow as I greet my masters. Most of them don't bother to look at me, showing a face of disgust. Only X smiled at me, what a lovely smile!

"Cooper our lovely boy, we need you in the kitchen now. If dinner is extra good tonight I might give you more than a quarter of my scraps." X said with a smile. I smiled in return.

"You got it master! One great steak dinner coming up!" I yell with enthusiasm. More than a quarter of his scraps?! That's practically fine dining for me!

And just like that I did what I was told, trying to perfect everything to my master's standards. While my masters and the guests eat and chat, I was in the living room sweeping away until I felt a familiar hand around my waist.

"Cooper, be a dear and go put on your white robe... you have some guests to entertain tonight." X whispered into my ear lovely. I shiver, I didn't like the sound of that.

"Um.... do I have to...." I mumbled. The moment I showed hesitant X eyes narrowed at me. He looked to make sure no one was watching until he gave me a quick smack across the face. It stung and my lips trembled.

"I'm not asking nicely, you stupid boy. This is a demand. You should know this by now. Now go upstairs and get changed now, you mutt. Or else you wouldn't be getting any dinner tonight." X harshly uttered into my ear. I gulp and bow my head.

"My apologies, I'll go do it right now." I wiggle out of his grasp and dropped my broom. I was going to go change but I stalled, until I heard the sound of yelling coming from downstairs. They weren't yelling for me though. Something something about their plans and weapons until I heard a crash from downstairs. I haven't changed yet out of my uniform, so I took a peak. Upon the sight was a full blown out brawl between my masters and the guests. Ain't no way I was throwing myself into this one.

They seemed distracted.

The idea started coming in.

The temptation was there.

Maybe I can.... go for a walk while they're too busy fighting.

A walk would be nice... a nice long walk....

With the opportunity at had, I did the one thing I was told not to do. The thing that leaves me beaten and bruised if ever caught. I tried to leave. For good this time.

And so I did, I snuck out while no one was watching. I started walking, and walking, until I started sprinting and running far away as I could. I may not remember much before I was serving my masters, but man I'm sure a fast runner. I ran and didn't stop. I had no plan, no idea where I was headed, I just wanted to be out of there.

Eventually I became weak, stopping in a flower field. It's quite a nice sight at nighttime. The stars shining down on me, I could see slight color in the dark. Especially the pink flowers. They may not be cherry blossoms, but at least they're pink, my favorite color.

I don't know why it's my favorite color, or why I love cherry blossom trees. But part of me tells me to, remember the cherry blossoms.

I been saying that ever since I been saved.

Since I been kidnapped....

Since I been beaten....

Since I been called a sad mutt....

My knees bend and I fall face first into the flower field. All that running has worn me out. I didn't want to move, perhaps I can sleep here tonight. I'm used to sleeping on the ground anyways.

Perhaps I can figure out what to do next when I wake up....

Maybe a better life is ahead of me....

It's strange, I felt like I been in this moment before. The dirt beneath my face as my eyes grow heavy. If only someone was beside me, perhaps I could remember who it was that I once forgot.

Remember the cherry blossoms, Cooper..... remember the cherry blossoms.....

[malebodyexhibit]

High Maintenance (a Next Door Boy tale)

I’m maintenance unit ___ with the asset number ___. I’m writing this to catalogue my thoughts as I do my duties for the Next Door Boy agency. Particularly for this client whose name will not be disclosed. The routine and maintenance set up by the client practically has me logging each moment of the day.

I took a bite of the grapes, savoring the burst of juice in my mouth. This was a rare treat. With a body like this, it was a numbers game. Whoever says jocks or models aren’t bright has never seen their fitness plan. 151 grams of grapes is roughly 104 kcal, 27g carbs, and 1g of protein. With this body at its current weight and activity level, I need more protein than carbs, but I decided to splurge my daily carb limit on something as simple as grapes.

“Hey, no eating! Get back for the photoshoot,” the photographer called. I swallowed whatever grapes were in my mouth and walked back to the spot I had to pose. It’s been over an hour and I was getting bored. The photographer and his assistants spent a few minutes fussing over how low my pants should sag and how much ass should hang out. “They’re looking a bit pale,” he said, then smacked my ass. “Don’t worry about it. The guy usually lets me do much more.” The photographer smiled and lingered his hand on my ass.

My new body reacted to his touch and I felt my breath hitch, but I kept my cool. After another hour of photos, I was finally able to leave. The notes left behind by the client mentioned the photographer was a total sleaze, but he was good at his job so just let him have his fun.

This might be a dream job for some, but for me, it was just another job. I was hired after a recruiter pulled me from a temp agency. I had great reviews for consistency, reliability, and overall fitness. I wasn’t like this body.

As you can see, he’s toned beyond heck. A body forged in the kitchen and toned in the gym.

But I kept myself healthy, and the NDB agency saw value in that. You see, when a client rents a body--I mean ‘talent’--the ‘mind’ of the talent needs to go somewhere. Sometimes it’s the client’s body, but it’s usually put in a temporary body, which is me. My body was the temporary body that the talent used. And since all talent tended to be attractive, my relatively attractive body made it easier to be out of their own bodies.

I stripped off my clothes and tossed them in the hamper. I had to get ready for the family visit. A part of the client’s routine was an afternoon visit by his family. They usually brought him food. I had to pretend to eat it, but secretly toss it and make something from the recipes left for me. The client came from immigrant parents and as an Asian-American, he seemed to struggle with maintaining his lifestyle and his family ties. I mentioned the numbers game of food. The exotic meals tended to be high fat and high carbs. That was a big no-no.

“Son, you’re getting skinny!” His mother would coo. “Here, eat some of this. Why don’t you get married already?! You’re getting old and need someone to take care of you. What will happen if something happens to me?”

His parents didn’t know he was gay, and I had to pretend I was straight. Well, I was straight, but, you know, with how this body possession happens, you change what you like.

Tomorrow I had another photoshoot, but this time while I was at the gym. I would pump iron and get nice and sweaty (with help of assistants spraying me down with mist) then get photos taken. The photographer was getting more handsy with this body. It doesn’t help that I was told not relieve myself while possessing this body. I couldn’t cum or have sex. Which usually wouldn’t perturb me too much, but my new body is hyper sexual. I just feel constantly aroused.

I laid back on the bed. Now stripped of my clothes, I just allowed myself to get erect. Taking a deep breath, I felt my powerful lungs rise with my sculpted pecs. Without looking, I could feel my abs tense and harden. I tried not looking down, but unsuccessfully, I saw my new girthy cock rising up like a flagpole. It was throbbing and I felt the ache of weeks without relief. I could turn on my side and thrust against the bedsheets slowly as if I was tenderly entering a lover. I could run my hand over a pillow and pretend to follow the curves of a soft male body. Instead I started to slowly thrust upward into the air. I curled my feet below my body and I thrusted higher and higher. Then faster and faster. I was started to feel sweat dripping from my body and I could feel myself edging closer and closer to bliss. But I stopped myself as my cock started to twitch and I moaned out with straining restraint.

I collapsed back on the bed. To keep this body perfect and up to the client’s standard, I ate only a handful of grapes and bland gym food. I couldn’t touch this rich Japanese cock or live a life without lying. Frustrated, I curled up and went to sleep.

The next day after a photoshoot at the gym, I was with the sleazy photographer for another session. He had me strip the body down to nothing and had me hold a wooden plaque above my cock. His assistants weren’t there which was unusual. But when he started to move me into a pose, he was very hands on. He adjusted and readjusted the plaque, making sure to stimulate and brush against it.

“I like you in this body,” he said. “You don’t have an attitude. The guy thought he was hot shit. Of course, he couldn’t get a hook up. He was always chasing after white cock. He really wanted the American dream boy, but of course the American dream boy didn’t want him. Could you blame them? This guy hated being in his own skin and being around us. You’re different because you just accept it.”

“I sorta have to accept it. It’s out of my hands and it’s my job,” I said, barely able to focus on the conversation. I was stiff and trembling. It wasn’t cold. On the contrary it was hot. I was dripping sweat. I began to breathe heavier but that seemed to make it worse, because I could now see my meaty pecs bouncing with each breath. I started to feel self conscious and tried to cover my abs with my arm, but the slight touch on my naked boy brought a groan to my lips.

“Yeah, I like you in there alright. Let me help you,” the photographer said. He moved his hands to my chest. I tried to stop him but stopped. The notes from the client did say to let him have his fun. He placed his palm on my pec and lightly brushed my nipple. I moaned and moved closer to him. The photographer brought his mouth to the other nipple and started to playfully bite it. The sensation was mind blowing. My body trembled and I thought for sure I’d cum, but I endured and he licked his way from my nipple to abs. He ran his hands over my stomach. My cock was dripping with precum and I couldn’t focus on anything except his touch. When his mouth took in my rod, I practically screamed. He managed only a few strokes before I erupted with pleasure.

I opened my eyes. I smiled for the first time in weeks. The relief after the build up of lies and stress. The high maintenance lifestyle of this guy finally unloaded.

“That’s the first time I’ve seen you smile,” the photographer said. I thought he was speaking to man whose body I wore, briefly he thought I was him, but when it seemed he remembered, he said, “you look completely different.”

I wondered how this body’s life would be without the constant pressure to be something he wasn’t. If he finally came out to his family. If he settled for someone who loved him. If he wasn’t himself. I didn’t know how long I had in this body, and wondered what my next assignment would be.

[sariel626]

Father! Poe x Child!Reader + Uncle Figure! Ranpo x Child! Reader

Note: everything here is completely platonic, this is an incest-free blog

This lowkey leaned more towards Ranpo in the end than it did Poe and I’m kinda mad about it, but I’m also not because I love the ending.

Sorry if the case file is poorly done, I’m terrible at writing Murder mystery

I apologize in advance for the chaos that’s about to ensue

——————————————————————

““Dad! Are we there yet?” Asked an excited little girl. Her father sighed at his daughter’s question for the nth time as he walked up the stairs. Yes, Poe knew that (Reader) loves to see Ranpo, but sometimes she’s a bit too eager. As the dark-haired man opened the door to the Armed Detective Agency, he already saw his daughter hugging his rival. “Uncle Ranpo! I missed you so much!” Ranpo returned the hug, “me too, little detective” He then looked over at Poe and waved with full energy, “Hey Poe! How’s your new book coming along?”

(Reader) was eyeing one of Ranpo’s lollipops and asked, “Uncle Ranpo, can I please have a piece of candy?” Poe was about to intervene and tell (Reader) not to ask that every time they visit, but Ranpo had already pulled out like five other flavors, “This one tastes like grape and has gum in the center, then this one tastes like chocolate, this one tastes changes flavors the closer you get to the center.” “Can I have the flavor changing one?” Ranpo gave the 7 year old the sucker with a grin “Good choice little detective!” (Reader)’s eyes light up upon tasting the sucker, “It tastes like watermelon…” Ranpo grinned, “How could the greatest detective in Japan NOT be able to deduce your favorite flavor?” Ranpo would’ve had to be an idiot to not know. In the past few visits, the girl always opted for watermelon candies/flavored drinks and often sported watermelon slice decorated clothing/objects. Why? Only the girl herself can say.

After receiving her lollipop, our little reader decided that it was best to let Uncle Ranpo and Dad talk, so she began reading a small mystery children’s book Poe had made for her. “Oh hey, didn’t see ya come in, (Reader)” the voice was Yosano Akiko, the doctor of the Agency and also the Aunt figure to little (reader). Yosano began to converse with the reader, asking questions a normal protective, caring aunt would ask like how (reader) has been, if there are any boys she thinks are cute, what the name of the little shit who may/may not have hurt (reader) is, those questions. All the while, Poe is smiling softly because his daughter is happy and he’s sure he’ll beat Ranpo thi- “the killer is the girl in the red dress” deduced Ranpo “The newspapers gave it away, it was a good mystery though” Poe slumps in defeat and to worsen things, reader says “I told you he was gonna deduce it with that many clues, dad!” Poe turns his head towards his daughter to defend himself, “W-Well you’re 7!” “Even more reason to listen to my feedback.” Ranpo smiled at the two having such a healthy relationship.

A voice rang out “Hey Ranpo, why do you call her little detective?” It was a curious Atsushi who had watched everything unfold from beginning to end. This gave Ranpo a rather devious idea. He called the little girl over and immediately she asks, “Are you gonna use me to get the boring cases off of your plate again?” “You don’t want to show me how your deductive skills have improved since you last visited?” The little girl furrowed her brows, she knew her Uncle Ranpo was trying to manipulate her to take on a case. For as little as she’s allowed to interact with him, Dazai did teach her the basics of spotting manipulation. “I’ll give you more candy if you get it right~” …What’s a bit of manipulation if you can get food from it?

The girl took the file from Ranpo and carefully looked through the contents, asking about a word’s meaning here and there. After a couple minutes, (reader) looked up at Ranpo and Karl who sat on his head. “At first glance, it looks like the CEO, but it can’t be him because the glove brand he’s wearing is different from the evidence. Even if they were his, there’s no place he could’ve hid the second pair of gloves or any time to put them on. If you look at his assistant, he was at the scene when the cameras went out and wears the same brand of gloves as the evidence. As for the fingerprints on the murder weapon, that was blackmailing by the assistant. Sunken Twilight Corp. was avidly getting involved with black marketing before you guys beat the Guild, occasionally using their power to get gifteds for Francis, and if that got out, it would ruin the company name and the CEO would be reduced to nothing. He was forced to incriminate himself either way.” (Reader) said this with confidence and waited for Ranpo to say if she was right.

Yosano watched (reader) work with a gentle smile on her face, seeing a new detective in the making. Poe was not fazed by his daughter’s deductive abilities in the slightest, she was constantly asking him for new mystery books and even tried writing him one once (it was barely legible and very misleading because the clues pointed towards the victim instead of the actual killer😓). He was a bit concerned by her knowing the Guild’s doings with the black market when the only people who had met her from it were Steinbeck, Lovecraft, Louisa, Melville, and Twain.

Ranpo took one look at the contents of the file and confirmed the little detective’s claim. “Uncle Ranpo, you said you would give me candy if I was right. I want those watermelon gummies you gave me the last time me and Dad visited.” Demanded (reader) to her proud uncle. Ranpo went to his stash to get the gummies, but all Poe, Yosano, and Atsushi saw was a mini Ranpo. The man-child in question looked over at Atsushi after setting the gummies in front of (reader) and said smugly, “That’s why I call her little detective.”

As much fun as they were having, Poe knew that he and his child shouldn’t disrupt the detectives any further. He called out to her, “(reader), we should head back home before it gets dark. Say goodbye to everyone.” “Do we have to go?” Whined the little girl. The messy haired novelist sighed, she always gets like this when it’s time to leave, “Yes, it’s dangerous at night.” “But you have an ability to protect us!” “I can’t use my ability against every bad guy we encounter.” Ranpo chimed in, “Poe’s right, abilities aren’t supposed to be used so frequently. They should be used to achieve something good, like protecting someone or stopping evil people from destroying Yokohama.” (Reader) sighed in defeat, knowing she couldn’t beat both her dad and Uncle Ranpo. The 7 year old gave hugs and said her goodbyes before taking her dad’s hand and leaving the Armed Detective Agency for home, but not without stopping for dinner at Uzumaki Cafe!

By the time the three arrived back home, (reader) was rubbing her eyes and yawning. Poe took his daughter to her room and let her change into pajamas before returning to tuck her in, only to find the child asleep, cuddling the baby raccoon plushie in her raccoon onesie pjs. ‘She must’ve been exhausted from being at the Detective Agency today.’ Poe thought to himself as he tucked his adorable daughter under the covers. Karl hopped off Poe’s head and, without waking her up, joined (reader) in dreamland while Poe returned to his study feeling grateful for the wonderful family he’s been given.

This was entirely midnight inspiration, but I wholly believe this man would be a great father and Ranpo is the uncle-figure to our little reader.

@silverbladexyz

[spookypookies]

asheiji agere headcanons TW: CSA, sa mention, impure regression, bed wetting, diapers, d1no mention, mvrder,

Ash is a trauma regressor and regresses from 0-3 so very small

Eiji is his primary CG and a great one at that

Ash didn't get a non-sexualized childhood so this is his chance to try

Eiji has a perfect gift of calming Ash down and getting him regressed

Ash has to wear diapers since he wets the bed a lot and it makes him feel smaller

Eiji has the little one sleep next to him when he has nightmares and comforts him

Ash loves cheese itz and grape juice as snacks

Eiji is such a great caregiver he helps Ash with all his infant needs

Ash gets nightmares about Dino hurting him again eiji kisses all the hurt away

Eiji has an easier time waking ash up but he still gets fussy

Ash calls Eiji more fem cg names like "mommy, mama, mama bear"

Eiji will put ash on his hip and not let anyone touch him not even ash's gang can't touch him

Ash likes more infant/baby nicknames like "bug, bugaboo, baby, baby boy,, puppy (not a pet regressor), honey, little one"

Ash regresses sometimes after fights and sometimes mvrder and FREAKS OUT eiji cant even calm him down its that bad

Eiji's specialty is forehead kisses and hand kisses

Eiji isn't a strict CG but has rules like no bad words, no talking bad about self, and behaving well. the basics

Ash is a very sleepy regressor and will nap on Eiji's shoulders, chest really anywhere he will sleep

i loved making this since i love BF and they deserved only happiness a cool fun fact about meee is I share a b-day with Ash Lynx and my secondary name is Aslan like his real name

[imlivinginyourtrashcan]

Hi hello im a dirty American heres some friendsgiving headcannons for the sp character

Cartman:

That man aint bringing shit

Only there for the food

The type of mf to steal ingrediants while youre cooking something

Dives RIGHT for the pumpkin pie

Nobody is happy

He denies it but its do obvious hes stealing shit 🤬

Does not wait for a toast

Bro just dives in

Getting seconds, thirds, fourths

When hes done theres no left overs

If he were to bring something id be pie

His moms recipe

BUT THIS LITTLE FUCK EATS IT IN THE CAR

Kyle:

Sometimes hosts the friendsgiving at his house

Brings the sparkling grape juice/apple juice

And also the Kosher things

Only has one helping, tries to get leftovers for the family or for kenny

Helps his mom cook when hes hosting

Setting the table always

Tries to toast but ends up yelling at Cartman for eating before hes done

Helps Ike pack for those little kindergarten thanksgivings?

Yknow when you dressed as a pilgrim and ate food?

Was I the only one who did that??

Stan:

He panicks and brings what he can find

"Hey dude! What you bring?"

"Uhhh... leftover mash potatos?"

Hes TRYING

Downing the sparkling juices like no tomorrow

The eggnog too

Cartman encourages it

"CHUG CHUG CHUG"

Watching the football game

RESTRAINS himself when it comes to food

Like, he wants it but knows Kyles gonna be pissed

Plays catch with everyone else

Or pingpong

Doesnt give a fuck about the Macys parade

Kenny:

Brings canned stuff he got from the food drive

Like cranberry sauce

Sneaking leftovers for his family

Plays catch with the boys

Died from a football lodged in his eye

Oh and from the

"Macys parade"

Incident

You dont want to know

Butters:

Brings the sweet potatos

Suggest christmas music/movies be played

Cartman called him gay immediately

So that got shut down

Brings the extra pies and everything since Cartman eats his

Lover of cranberry sauce and other things most people hate on thanksgiving

"Oh that was good! Could I have more please?"

"Butters what the fuck who likes CRANBERRY SAUCE???"

"I do!"

Doer of the toast

Often gets hit in the face when they play catch and cries

Can't stay for long cuz his parents are strict but hes there on video call rest of the time

Craig:

The type of mf when you ask what he brought he says

"My presence"

MF-

No!!!

You need to bring FOOD

They have to kick him out

He comes back with bread rolls or crackers, cheese and olives

So hes aloud back in

Doesnt care abt the parades or catch or anything

Just kinda there for Tweek

If someone asks him to do sonething he'll do it though

Hes limited by meals thanks to his braces

He doesnt care

Thats future craigs problem

Flips someone off if they beat him in a sport

Or flips off the tv when someone does something stupid in football

Has restraint when it comes to food

Bro will just wait

Wait

Wait

Wait

And then devour his plate in seconds

Tweek:

Brings homemade cider or pumpkin spice

Panicked the whole time

Hiding upstairs half the time

At least until food

He looks like a sopping wet cat

Doesnt really eat that much

Convinced the food is poison

Dont try to reassure him either he doesnt trust you

Has to check a million times though

"Is this poison???"

"No???"

"GAHH!! I dont believe you!!"

Leaves after feasting

He can only handle so much

Arrives super late too which is ironic

Jimmy:

Brings the food over and makes a puns

Like puts devil horns on eggs

"Jimmy what is that?"

"D-d-d-deviled Eggs"

Bro is telling thanksgiving jokes every second

Does the toast some years

Its like a stand up comedy routine tho

He lets you eat during that

Sneaking food

Mischievous little bastard

Puts on family fued when he realizes the boys are too pissed at football

Also has brace limits

But does he follow them ever? Nope

Drinks sparkling juice from a wine glass

Able to keep the party going for a WHILE he has ENERGY

Card playing KING

Winning at Crazy 8s left and RRRRIGHTTTTTT

Clyde:

Brought mac and cheese

Either that or bread

Food sneaker

Thinks hes good at sports

Hes not

He gets hit in the face so often

And cries

Tried Tweeks coffee

Started coughing and gagging immediately

Hes a picky eater im calling it now

Like will not eat if he doesnt think he'll like it

Me too Clyde i get it

Likes the Macys parade

Fucking weirdass

Arrives a bit before Tweek but is still late

The mf to get seconds

Wont eat before the event either

Saving his stomach for yum yums

Tolkien:

Also hosts

Helps his parents with food

Makes the dinner table look like a whole buffet

When hes not hosting he brings stuffing or some expensive good food

Or like

Homemade dip?

Casserole?

Idk

Seems like itd change every year

Great at sports

Helps clean up too

Toasts sometimes

Very generic toast

Doesnt seem like someone who has much to say

[melsdreamweaving]

I don't know if this is supposed to help anyone. At the moment I am feeling a little lost. And at the same time, I'm pleasantly surprised. After years of suffering, I feel like a chapter has come to a close. I'm just an ordinary person, who has met some extraordinary people on the way. A nobody who really knows nothing at all. I'm happy being a nobody.

A somebody is someone who just does. But in my case, I'm choosing to balance between doing and contemplating. My middle school teacher called me the thinker. She made an award just for me. Praising me for resolving conflicts in our classroom. But the only thing I did was ask a group of teenagers and tweens to just stop and breathe for a second. That petty fights aren't worth their friendship. That is until one of them screamed in my face. I remember Miss Reyes, her lips set into a thin line. Hating that the toxicity of an older teenager was all it took to make me shrink again. But at the same time I had befriended another girl from Puerto Rico. We've been nerdy art friends ever since.

It's funny to me but in my home, I just wanted to pick up the pencil and draw. However I was also told that I had to write. To make our story known... I used to look at my grandmother and ask her, with what voice? You have already taken mine.

I've had many friends, they come and go. I've had lovers, they come and go. Could I have stayed virginal for the "right one"? It depends. Up until that point, I hadn't really met anyone I would have saved myself for. If I even had something to "save" for them. A girl I knew from Dade, had a similar circumstance. She was funny, and she used to say steal all of their virginities. That way they will never forget you. This person was a riot. And at the same time I understood what she meant. I'm glad that they were able to move on and have a better life elsewhere.

One of my friends had pointed out, that those with sour grapes shouldn't spoil your kind spirit. I also ran into one of the two boys that I altar served with. Reminding me that I have kind eyes, eyes that inspire compassion... I appreciated it, especially now that I am struggling not to go low.

My favorite comedian, Margaret Cho, is now in her '50s. When I dropped out of high school, I was filled with shame. The entire year I had spent it trying to get expelled. Coming up with elaborate plans, and failing miserably because I was still a naive young girl. My favorite thing that she said in the stand-up bit called Vicious Cho was: f*** it this is me. I feel like a lot of young people would benefit from watching her. Especially if you're not LGBTQ but are just feeling lost in your own body. I was told to have a career first, and then there will be time for family. But at the same time, I fell in love. A goofy other nobody named cro mag named Ug, really saw me for the first time.

I can't explain it. But most of what I do is motivated by his smile and influence. I was a teenager when I met him. Just barely turned 18. He took me out on a date, and got me a copy of "Brave New World" from the local borders. I definitely recommend reading it. He asked me if I saw myself in anyone. To tell you the truth I saw myself in the indigenous young man. Taken into high society and not being able to cope with man's inhumanity to man. He told me that you can't save everyone. I knew that. Even one of my professors told me that not everybody can get on the ship little one. And then he proceeded to tell me that being a single father is hard. I nodded my head and said that it must be...

I didn't want to rule the world, I just wanted to see it. Having been a nerd, I enjoyed reading the encyclopedia on the computer. At the time, I loved the sound of hearing the machine come to life. The disc whirring and... My best friend would be there to greet me.

I shared the computer with my uncle and brother. It was a lot of fun to look and see what they were into. Sometimes I didn't understand it, but as my mom taught me snitches get stitches. So I stayed quiet, and played on the encyclopedia Britannica. They had this really cool game called mind maze. Were you learned random facts and navigated a castle.

My favorite games were those where you were a protagonist navigating a strange world. The King's quest games were my favorite. I loved King Graham, and the enchanted world of Daventry.

The woman who authored these games, was introduced to the role-playing games by her husband. I always thought it was awesome to be able to do such a thing. In college it was really hard to find others who played these games but it was fun to talk about character design, and story structure.

Currently I'm playing Shadow dark with a group of my husband's friends. What I enjoy about it is that it reminds me of discworld, at least the way we're playing. None of us have died yet thank goodness.

I like drifting away from things too. People, places, and just relaxing. Have you ever just laid face up in a pool for hours? It's my favorite thing to do. You can just meditate and forget everything. It feels like you're in space. Even though I don't think I would like to be up there. Something about the sky always makes me feel like it's trying to eat me. The ocean however feels like home.

Having Taino ancestry I think back to one of the last survivors of Fidel. At the time when he came to power, the first people he targeted were indigenous. My grandmother had to hide my mom. Her straight hair was a huge problem back then.

The man that I'm thinking of if he is still alive, lives by the ocean fishing and just swimming all day. A simple life. A wonderful life really. My husband and I, talk about living by the sea. Not caring anymore. Just enjoying our lives, because why bother with a world that would turn around and defraud its own people. You were ignorant for believing in others... Okay, I think that says more about you than it does about me.

I love my husband because he said go back to the gym palpy you ain't getting my Padme, lol 🤣. Our food names are ironically rice and beans. Everyone used to call him Mr Bean cuz he looked like the actor when he was younger... And at the time my friends all had food names, and I picked rice. Mostly because I go with everything. And of course being a fan of Fruit baskets definitely influenced that. My friends were fun, but I always felt plain like rice. I met other people that are like rice though. I call them burnt rice, mostly because they're rough around the edges and prickly.

If you were a food what would you be?