#i brought my desktop back w me

[newfruits]

yay yay yay im homeeeee im so glad to be back in my apartment. staying with my family is tough and the house is bad too and then on top of it my brother and dad caught covid. so im very glad to be home and get to chill alone until i go to my partners house on new years eve for a party 🥳🎉

[comapill]

where would i be if i hadn’t found cocorosie when i was 10. i’d be dead in a ditch, that’s where i’d be!

[sleepyhoon]

bang bang, kiss kiss. - p.js

pairing. boss!jay x employee!reader genre. age gap, porn w some plot, long drabble warnings. swearing, infidelity (jay cheating on his wife), homewrecker!yn (sorry), age gap (reader is 21 jay is 31), smut [ office sex, impregnation kink, creampie, oral (f. receiving), degradation, pussy slapping, manhandling, spit ]

a/n. attempt number 2 of trying to make yn a bitch ahaha anyways enjoy whats been plaguing my mind the past few nights. not proofread so pls disregard any typos haha

Park Jongseong's wife had a lot of nerve.

Calling the workplace and disrupting Mr. Park with nonsense you cant even begin to comprehend. He's far too good for her, adhering to her every beck and call, missing out on detrimental meetings and interviews with high-profile clients just to tend to his dumbass wife.

God, you hated her.

As Jongseong's personal secretary, it was your responsibility to keep his business in order, and most importantly, keep him stress-free; which is why you were more than happy to suggest he keep his cell phone off and locked away in your desk for the day, to ward off any unnecessary distractions.

"Always looking out for me, huh?" Jongseong asks, leaning against your desk with a smirk as he willingly hands you his locked iPhone.

"Always," you repeat, not breaking eye contact as you drop the phone into your drawer and slam it shut.

"And what if my wife needs to reach me?"

Your expression goes stoic, and a little bit annoyed. Jongseong knows you hated whenever he brought up his wife in any context, even a hypothetical one.

"She knows your e-mail address," you respond through gritted teeth, your eyes panning over to the empty excel sheet on your desktop.

Jongseong nods, amused and slightly aroused at the distaste you have for his wife. It's fucked up, he knows it is, but he just can't help it. The jealousy in your eyes at the mere mention of his wife was enough to drive him crazy. He loves that you hate her, and how envious you were of her; so desperate to be his wife instead.

"I suppose that's true; but if she calls, just forward her over to me, yeah?"

You don't respond, blatantly ignoring him as you open a new Google tab on your desktop and search 'avg cost of divorce south korea'.

Jongseong leans over, eyes lighting up in a mixture of surprise and amusement as he peeks at your screen, "You're funny, YN," he says, biting back a laugh.

"I'm not joking."

"I know," he stands, shoving his hands into his pockets, "that's the best part. I'll ping you if I need anything."

You nod, chin resting in the palm of your head as you continue to stare at your computer. The results of your Google search were anticlimactic, not one direct answer on the average cost of divorce. Just your luck.

Jongseong discretely glances around the office, making sure all other employees were occupied with their own tasks before leaning down and tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, the sudden action causing you to stare up at him wide-eyed and raise a confused brow at him.

"And you let me know if you need anything, okay? Anything at all." He says, voice dropping to barely above a whisper.

Music to your ears, really, having Jongseong at your disposal while his own wife would have to fight tooth and nail to even speak to him today. It's a dream come true.

You clear your throat, adjusting your glasses as you straighten your posture, "Okay."

Jongseong smiles down at you one last time before turning on his heels and making his way down the hall and into his office.

A few minutes have gone by when you receive a message.

Jongseong Park [ 10:20 am ] : Around 1-5M KRW, higher if there are any court battles involved.

You [ 10:20 am ] : noted :)

Of course she'd show up to his workplace, so fucking relentless.

You can't really blame her, not being able to call or text Jongseong all day only to have his personal secretary dodge any calls made to the office surely would drive you crazy. Still, she has a lot of nerve.

"Sir, your wife is here," you grit into the phone, glaring daggers at said wife, Park Yunjin, as she scrolls on her phone.

"Shit, should've known," he sighs, "I'll be out in a few, just finishing something up."

You don't bother saying goodbye, slamming the phone down so hard that it startles Yunjin and a few of your coworkers. "He'll be out shortly."

Yunjin smiles, "Thank you, I got kinda worried when I wasn't able to get in touch with him, you know?"

Not interested in making small-talk with Yunjin, your responses to her are limited to hums and polite nods, fighting the urge to slam your head on your desk while ripping your hair out.

After what feels like an eternity, Jongseong finally emerges from his office and calls out for Yunjin, holding back a smile at the sight of the two of you being in the same vicinity.

Yunjin turns, cocking her head to the side with an annoyed look on her face, "Are you busy?"

Jongseong shakes his head, "Not at the moment, come in," he says, pushing his office door wide enough for her to enter.

Adjusting the purse on her arm, Yunjin makes her way down the hall and into the office, glancing at you over her shoulder one last time as she does so. She's suspicious of you, that much was obvious. You're much younger than her, obviously attractive, and the only other person who spends as much time with Jongseong as she does. You know him like the back of your hand, while she could barely get her husband to open up to her.

She has every right to be suspicious, though, considering you are fucking her husband behind her back.

Thirty minutes have passed when Yunjin finally exits his office, her expression unreadable as she shuts the door behind her, strutting out of the office without so much as a glance in your general direction.

Your eyes follow her every movement, staring so intently that you nearly miss the newest messages from Jongseong.

Jongseong Park [ 3:54 pm ] : Are you able to stay a little longer tonight? Need your help with some stuff.

Jongseong Park [ 3:55 pm ] : Dinner on me as an apology for the inconvenience

You [ 3:58 pm ] : of course, whatever u need :)

You don’t think much of it when you slip into Jongseong’s office later that evening.

He doesn’t bring up the incident with his wife and neither do you, opting to engage in light, easygoing topics as you help your boss complete his workload. It wasn’t much besides transferring over data into excel and responding to some emails, surely not enough work that required staying after hours, but Jongseong’s promise of a free dinner was enough to intrigue you.

And the fact that you’d be spending time alone with him, of course, free of your coworker’s wandering eyes and his wife’s disruptive behavior.

Your remaining coworkers had finally left for the evening, stopping by Jongseong’s office to briefly wish the two of you a good night and a safe trip home.

It’s around seven p.m. when you’re finally finishing up the excel sheet, your tired eyes carefully inspecting each and every corner of the screen, double-checking for any minor errors.

“Almost done?” Jongseong asks, swiveling in his office chair to face you.

You nod, offering him your laptop, “Think so, just need you to look it over.”

Taking the laptop from your hands, Jongseong looks over the screen for half a second before shutting it and handing it back to you. “Looks good to me. Get on the desk.”

You pause, mouth falling open as Jongseong begins to loosen to tie, “Wait, can I expl-”

He crosses the short distance between your seat and his, snatching the laptop from your grip as he forces you to stand, “No more excuses.”

Tossing the MacBook onto your now empty chair, Jongseong hoists you up on his desk, his rough, calloused hands bunching up your skirt until it’s settled around your waist. He doesn’t even give you time to prepare, sliding your thong down and off your legs with a quick yank of his hand.

He lowers himself before you, knees hitting the carpet as he becomes eye level with your cunt. Jongseong gathers a wad of saliva in his mouth, staring straight at you through hooded eyes as he spits directly on your pussy.

You shiver, swearing under your breath as he rubs the saliva onto your folds, “Think you’re so fucking funny, huh? Trying to upset my wife.”

Ugh, there he goes again talking about his stupid fucking wife.

“She’s a distraction, you got so much done today without her bitching in your ear.” You plead, gripping onto Jongseong’s desk with your eyes squeezed shut as he slips a thick finger into your hole.

It’s true, Jongseong had managed to get a lot more work done today than usual now that his wife wasn’t distracting him. Still, he can’t admit that, your ego was already big enough as it is. He’s sure if he inflated it any further your head would explode.

He teases a second finger at your entrance, amused at how easily it slides in from his wet you’ve gotten; it hadn’t even been five minutes and his hand is practically drenched because of you. “Doesn’t matter, you should’ve listened when I said to forward her calls. She already doesn’t like you and you just made it worse.”

Yunjin seeing you as a potential threat had you over the moon, a wicked grin on your face that only pissed Jongseong off further.

His fingers thrust in and out of you at a pace he’s never used before; he’s rough, flustered, and downright mad. His eyes narrow up at you, pulling his fingers out of you entirely to deliver a harsh smack on your clit.

Your body jolts, the sting of the slap sending an unfamiliar, yet arousing, shockwave throughout your body. You’re suddenly grateful that all the other employees have gone home for the evening, because the loud miss that escapes your lips surely would’ve had them running to HR.

Jongseong doesn’t even give you time to recover or process what’s happening, a smug look on his face now that he’s successfully wiped the cocky smirk off of yours. He leans forward, plump lips wrapping around your already swollen clit, swirling his tongue around it as he tugs it into his mouth.

He spits again, using his tongue to mix his saliva with your wetness to make a mess of your cunt. ”That’s funny to you? That you just made shit worse?”

You nod eagerly, another painful slap being delivered to your cunt as a result. You jolt again, tears welling up in your eyes as your back arches off his desk. He rotates between aggressively lapping at your clit, thrusting a third finger into your sopping hole, and delivering more slaps to your cunt, each smack harder than the last, leaving your entire body quivering.

By the seventh slap, the knot in your belly finally snaps, a loud slew of sweats falling from your lips as you come on the palm of Jongseong’s hand.

He doesn’t even give you the chance to catch your breath, standing as he shoves various paperwork and other miscellaneous items off his desk before forcing you on your back.

“I hope it was fucking worth it,” he grumbles, undoing his belt and zipper.

You nod, “It was.”

“Shut the fuck up.” He says, punctuating his sentence with another smack to your cunt. Your body is still spasming from your orgasm, the aching sensation between your thighs only adding to the overstimulation.

He pulls down his trousers and boxers in a swift movement, fully-hardened cock smacking straight against his abdomen. He pumps himself a few times before aligning his tip against your entrance, not giving you any time to prepare or adjust to his size before plummeting himself into you with a harsh thrust.

You cry out Jongseong’s name, back arching off his desk as you reach to hold onto his shoulders. His fingers move to your clit, rubbing harsh circles as he picks up his already fast and aggressive pace.

He’s relentless, fucking into you as if you were his own personal pocket pussy. There’s no doubt Yunjin would let him do this shit to her.

He takes your hand, pressing it down on your own abdomen as he pushes himself inside of you. Even from the outside you can feel his cock bulging into you. “You feel me right there?” He asks, breathless.

You nod wordlessly, a tear trickling from your eye as you do so. Jongseong leans down, unintentionally pressing himself further into you as he kisses the tear away, “You okay?”

You nod again, cupping Jongseong’s face with your hands before bringing him down to kiss you. It’s soft and sensual, making your heart rate increase as he tilts his head to allow himself further into your mouth.

Your legs wrap around his waist, pulling his body closer and furthering his cock deeper into your pussy. He swears under his breath, pulling away to press open-mouth, wet kisses on your neck and cheek. He stills for a moment, enjoying the feeling of your warmth wrapping around him as he’s peppering kisses across your collarbone.

He grabs your hand, interlocking your fingers together before thrusting into you again. He starts off slow this time, seemingly relishing in the feeling of your cum coating his cock.

He doesn’t let up after that, his thrusts becoming much harsher than what you expected, so rough that you’re nervous he may break the wooden desk supporting both of your weight.

“Fuck,” he groans, tip of his cock practically slamming into your g-spot, “gonna cum.”

“Please,” you beg, eyes fluttering shut as your second orgasm approaches.

Jongseong opens his eyes, taking note of your smudged makeup and how fucked-out you look. “Want me to cum inside you, huh? Fill you up until you’re nice and pregnant with my baby?”

You nod embarrassingly because you do want that, to be able to carry Jongseong ‘s child, clinging to his side to let everyone know it was him that did this to you.

He shakes his head with a chuckle, “Fucking knew it.”

That exchange seems to be enough to drive him to his orgasm, because a few seconds later he’s spilling himself inside of you, thick, white ropes of cum coating your insides. It’s the most he’s ever came, chest heaving with exhaustion as he catches his breath.

You’re only a few seconds behind him, ironically calling out for God as your own orgasm hits you.

His office goes quiet, the only sounds being your staggered breath along with his overhead ceiling fan.

Jongseong pulls himself out of you, immediately shoving two fingers inside your hole to keep his cum from drilling out of your pussy. Your body jolts again as you let out a pathetic, “Jongseong, please.”

“Not letting it go to waste.” He says simply, using his thumb to rub small circles on your clit. “Besides, you said you wanted me to fill you up right?”

“Yeah,” you whisper.

“Good,” he groans, “now lie on your stomach.”

[honorarysimp]

Epilogue: Ex Nihilo Nihil Fit

series masterlist

*Click*

“It’s currently sometime around 10AM this lovely Saturday, my final day in Woodsboro, as I conclude this investigation.”

A small, soft smile tugs at your lips as you sip a cup of coffee you’d gotten from the hotel lobby just earlier.

You have no questions for your coffee anymore.

Your other hand fidgets with your tape recorder, dials spinning within at that familiar slow and methodical pace.

“It’s been three months since the face off on the lakeshore, I find relief in stating on record we’ve finally found bodies, after a bit of patience and reassurance on knowing the lake is currently safe, multiple remains were found in ravines underneath the town, all connected by water channels that span for miles.”

You take a deep breath, wetting your lips as you sit the tape recorder down on the desktop, taking another sip of your lukewarm coffee before quietly continuing.

“Dental records as well as DNA analysis has brought many families peace. Including one Mrs. Becker who will no longer be calling the station every other month. I’ve come to a private conclusion that the entity isn’t invincible, after the face off against it, without a water source it’s required to take a physical form. Which explains how I was able to fight back at the abandon house, without its water and fog, it is vulnerable. If it can be hit, it can be killed.”

Your gaze wanders over your shoulder, heart fluttering at the bare back and mess of brown hair splayed across the pillow.

“And with me, I will be signing off giving all credit to my partner in crime, my beautiful plus one-“

“Watch it. Confirmed girlfriend” you hear Tara’s drowsy voice correct you, making you laugh softly as you sling your arm over the back of the chair and give your spine a little twist, satisfying pops following.

“-unconfirmed if Sam asks” you mutter jokingly before promptly cutting the tape recorded off, that audible click following as you peer back to Tara. She hums, stretches as she sits up, the muscles in her back flexing as she runs her fingers through her hair in an attempt to somewhat tame her bed head.

God, she’s beautiful, you can’t help but just look at her.

The last three months have been blissful, heavenly compared to the shitshow you’ve been through those three months prior. It’s still mind boggling to you just how long you’ve been here, on the excuse of “finishing your job” you came here for in the first place.

Not for sitting in that diner on certain late nights, meeting with a certain first responder as she’s getting off shift, to which you either end up at hers or your shitty hotel room.

Tara says it’s endearing, you hate the uncomfortable mattress, but it’s grown on you too. You’ll never admit it.

When you aren’t worshiping the ground Tara walks on, you’re at the Station with Sam, working with her and the rest of the officers on the searches.

Sam knows, you’re ninety percent sure Tara told her, but she never asks and you’re okay with that.

A hand on your arm snaps you out of your thoughts, it’s then you realize Tara had shifted to the edge of the bed closest to you, that smile paired with those hooded brown eyes do something sinful to your insides.

“Come on, it’s cold without you, finish later” Tara murmurs, biting her bottom lip as she reaches further to give your shirt the smallest tug, the sheet that once elegantly covered her now dipping “I know by now that mouth is good for more than talking to that stupid thing.”

God, the things this woman does to you, how could you ever deny her?

____________________________________________

It’s surreal, packing, tidying up the hotel room that’s become almost like a second home. Even with all things considered, or maybe it just started to feel like that in a fucked up way once the nightmares stopped.

You scoop an old pack of cigarettes off your desk, eyeing them for a moment. You don’t even know the last time you smoked one, and to be frank, you aren’t even sure why you haven’t tossed them yet. So, you do, walking over to trash where remains of your investigation board can be seen.

“Good riddance” you mutter as you drop it into the bin, taking a deep breath as you do a once over of the room, then you grab your single duffle and backpack.

As you head out, you offer a nod Bianca behind the front desk, the older woman smiling and giving you a departing wave goodbye.

As you head out of the hotel, a small smile tugs at your lips at the view.

Leaning back against the hood of your car is Tara, palms flat to the metal as she laughs warmly at something Mindy says to her, the other woman sat next to her while Chad stands off to the side with a smile of his own.

It makes you sad, to know this is all Tara has left of her friends she’s grown up with, she’s told you plenty of stories of the others to make you feel like you knew them to a certain extent.

You feel bad you’re taking her from them, even temporarily.

“You know, you still owe me a ride around in that ambulance of yours” you comment as you approach, Mindy scoffs and rolls her eyes at you.

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that making a bet drunk on a game of pool doesn’t count?” Mindy retorts, the same reply as always, “and I don’t owe you shit considering you’re taking my second in command.”

“You’ll be fine for two weeks without me” Tara says with a smile, which prompts Mindy to hug her, making Tara promise to call every day.

Chad follows you around to the backside of your car as you drop your bags into the trunk, next to Tara’s suitcase, your insides churning with a mixture of emotions.

“You know you don’t have to” he says to you, arm coming up to grab the opened trunk as you busy around adjusting things within.

“No, you were right. He should know” you reply, casting him a side glance, “besides I think it’s long overdue, just… be easy on him when he does yeah?”

Chad scoffs and looks off to the side, shaking his head, you see a retort on the tip of his tongue. Pulling back, you both tug the trunk down, lock clicking into place.

“Hey” you stop him before he continues, your head tilting slightly, “you don’t need to forgive him, but it wouldn’t be fair not to give him the opportunity.”

He doesn’t comment, seemingly shaking it off and offering you a half smile “just take care of Tara and bring her back in one piece, alright Detective? Don’t let her get lost in that big ass city of yours.”

You laugh and nod in agreement, extending your hand to which he firmly shakes, pulling each other in for a friendly hug.

“Congrats on the promotion by the way, the High School football team will be lost without their coach” you say as you bump your shoulder to his, he laughs and waves it off as you two round the car once more.

“I’m looking forward to seeing how he’s going to keep those kids in line as a Principal when they barely respected him as a coach” Mindy butts in, causing the twins to break out into a light hearted disagreement.

You smile, turning your head when you feel a finger hook into your pant pocket and tug, your eyes finding Tara’s as she mirrors your smile up at you.

“Sam’s going to meet us at Town Hall, said she had some last minute things to go over with the Mayor. Figured we could make it a two birds with one stone scenario for us” Tara says as you move toward her, standing between her legs as she sits back on the car.

“We can’t just avoid Sam all together?” you mutter jokingly, reaching up to curl a strand of her dark hair around your finger, she scoffs and gives you a look.

“She’ll hunt us down if we don’t, bury you alive, and drag my ass back home.”

You feign a gasp, mortified as you begin to lean away from her “I was buried alive thank you very much, how dare you bring that up-“

She cuts you off with a kiss, laughing softly against your lips. You can help but sink into it, hand coming up to gently cup her jaw.

When she pulls back you groan in protest, making her laugh and swat your chest playfully. You catch her hand, kissing the soft pink scar on her palm, making her breath hitch just the slightest.

Physical therapy hadn’t been easy for either of you, considering the small bit of nerve damage from your injuries. Tara had pushed through in strides far better than you, constantly reminding you that “what happened to us shouldn’t define the rest of our life”.

You couldn’t agree more.

Not to mention the “us” and the “our” she so easily refers to now when it comes to the two of you.

God, you don’t deserve her, but you’ll spend every day doing everything you can for her.

As you bid the twins tearful exchanges goodbye, the two of you slip into your car and head towards Town Hall.

Upon entering, you both make your way up to the Mayor’s office, where you find Sidney in the midst of a conversation with Sam. The two turn as you enter, you tip your imaginary hat towards them both.

“Mayor. Sheriff.”

Tara steps to the side with Sam, briefly hugging before running through a checklist of things Tara may need for her trip. Of course Tara plays it off like she’s annoyed by her older sister’s overprotective nature and concern, but you’ve learned to spot that smile she tries so hard to hide.

“Dinner still on for tonight?” You ask Sidney with a smile, approaching her desk as she rounds it to the other side, digging through one of her drawers.

She casts you a glance, a small smile of her own growing on her lips, it’s good to see her doing better as the days go. “That they are, it’ll be the first time in a few years that Jill and Kirby come back to town.”

“And Gale?”

“She’ll be there of course, still keeping herself as busy as possible” Sidney says as she pulls out a large envelope from her desk, straightening up and forcing her smile a bit more.

You pick up on it immediately, “she’s still talking about moving to the city?”

Sidney sighs, coming around the desk to stand in front of you, tapping the envelope against her free hand apprehensively.

“It’s just… we’re all we’ve got now, it’s going to be hard to see her leave” Sidney admits quietly, looking off to the side as she chews on the subside of her cheek, “but… I understand, needing to go. This town only reminds her of the man she lost.”

Your head tilts slightly, tucking your hands into the pockets of your pants “and you, Mayor?”

She gives you a tight lipped smile, steeling herself as she extends the envelope to you “your final paycheck, Detective. Thank you, for everything. I owe you a debt I’ll never be able to repay.”

With that, you smile again, tugging your backpack off your shoulder and pulling from it your box of tapes. “For you, Mayor” you say, trading her the content within for the envelope.

Her brow is furrowed, looking from the box in her hand up to you, “they’re mine, they have everything you might need to know on them with what all I know, you can repay me by not calling me if and when it ever returns.”

That makes her laugh, nodding once, extending one hand to which you shake, “it’s been a pleasure, Detective, we’ll be seeing you.”

You turn and head towards the Carpenter sisters, both now smiling and talking with less tension.

“Danny has family in New York, so if you keep her for too long, just know I’ll be coming to find you” Sam says the moment you approach, her hard gaze locking on to you.

It’s still as intimidating as the day you met her, but only now you can’t help but smile when Tara slips her hand into yours and laces your fingers together.

“You have all the information on where I live, and you’re both more than welcome to come stay if-“

“Okay! So great, bye Sam! Love you!” Tara interjects, pulling at your hand as she heads for the door.

“Bye Sam! Love you!” You echo, making Sam flip you off as you and Tara move through the threshold, you catch her smiling before she disappears from your view.

As you both get back into the vehicle, you start up the engine just as Tara buckles herself in, and for a moment you pause.

“Don’t. Get out of your head. I’m with you.”

You exhale, looking to her at the sound of her soft tone “but are you sure you want to use all your PTO for this? Just-“

Tara leans across the center console, fingers curling around the back of your neck to pull you forward for a sweet, passionate kiss as a symbol of reassurance.

And when you break apart, albeit just resting your foreheads together as your eyes meet, Tara murmurs “you’ve been in my world for a minute now, it’s my turn to see yours.”

The muscle in your jaw flexes as your teeth clench and unclench, your heart fluttering in your chest “okay, whatever you want.”

“I want you to get me the fuck out of this hellhole, hot shot” Tara says with a full smile that sends a sharp hot jab to your gut, giving you one last chaste kiss before sinking back into the passenger seat.

You mentally add that to the list of things you can’t tell her no to, which seems to grow exponentially the longer you two are together.

You pass by the diner on your way out, and your chest aches, you’ll miss it. Tara seems to read your thoughts, as she rests her hand atop yours on the gear shift. Your eyes meet for a moment and you share a silent look of understanding.

You don’t tell her about your last minute pitstop until you’re pulling down a familiar street, the side glance she gives you tells you all you need to know.

“What-“

“Chad asked me not to say anything, since you’re not really a fan of him” you answer before she can finish, parking the car and looking to her “at least until we got here.”

Her eyes narrow, jaw set as she leans back into her seat “unbelievable, what else are you keeping from me?”

“I’m pregnant and you’re the father” you say without missing a beat.

Instantly she’s fighting back a smile, scoffing and punching your arm as you unbuckle your seat “you’ve got fifteen minutes or I’m breaking up with you.”

“I’ll do it in ten” you say with a wink, quickly slipping from the car and briskly making your way inside.

When you knock, it’s in a far more calmly manner than the last time you were here, your hear the locks click before Randy peaks past the door.

“You’re alive.”

“We did it.”

He opens the door fully, one hand on the doorframe while the other loosely gripped the knob. A dry laugh comes from him, followed by “bullshit, how?”

“It’s not permanent, but we were able to find something temporary” you begin to quickly summarize “I came to tell you that you can go home, Billy and Stu are dead. So is Dewey.”

Randy winces at that, face twisting as he looks away, you continue by softly adding “your family needs you, Sidney needs you.”

For a moment he’s quiet, and then he turns to head back into his apartment, leaving the door open. Unsurely, you enter and follow after him.

You catch a glimpse of him popping free the same floorboard from last time, and from it he pulls a few pieces of paper. But upon standing and approaching you, your stomach sinks as you take in that familiar yellow stained parchment.

Your eyes move between them and Randy’s face a few times, the air sucked from your lungs.

“You tore them out? You had them the whole-“

“Take them” he says, holding them out to you, “I ripped them out when I’d learned just how powerful they were, what the contain, do with them what you please.”

Curiosity gnaws at your mind, but as always, the same singular factor holds you back. The thought of her does that to you now, considering just how much you now have to lose.

“I need to know… did you steal the book from Billy?” You ask him, the way his body stiffens answers your question.

Randy hesitates, but answers after a moment “long story short? I found out Billy had a daughter with a random we went to school with. Billy offered the book to me as a trade, saying it could save Sidney’s life, so long as I never spoke a word about what I knew. If only I’d known Billy had fucked me over the moment he gave me the book.”

You process this new information, your brain feeling like a needle skipping on a record “what- how did you find out? How were you certain?”

“Back then I had my hand in everything. If I didn’t know you to know what you knew, I knew someone you trusted that knew what you knew” is all Randy gives you, looking down to the pages in his hand then back up to you “do you want them or not?”

Still curious and hesitant, you ignore his question “do you know the identity of the child? Does she know who her father is?”

Randy shakes his head firmly, “it’s in the child’s interest that she never knows. So I’m taking this one to the grave, not for Billy, but for that poor kid.”

In a way you understand, Billy wasn’t the best, and if Randy found out about this kid back when they were in high school then she probably would be a little older than you. If you dug, you could very well find out who.

But Randy is right, why do that to someone, and get stamped as a bastard child of a psycho?

You take the pages from him and tuck them in your pocket without reading them, “go home Randy, you’re now unburdened and have run out of excuses to avoid it any longer.”

Neither waiting for confirmation or a verbal response, you turn on your heel and exit the apartment swiftly, heading back to your car.

“Nine minutes, you cut it close” Tara says the moment the car door closes behind you, already smiling when you look to her.

“Early is on time, on time is late” you laugh as you shift the car into drive and exit the parking lot, back on the road, no more stops. At least, not until you get to the first hotel for some sleep on your roadtrip to New York.

“You ready for your VIP front row seat to seeing the span of the whole country?” You say with a half smile, every nerve in your body lighting up as her arm drapes across the space between you and rests on the back of your seat, her fingers gently massaging the back of your neck.

“I didn’t know a view could get better than this” Tara whispers softly, tone vulnerable as her head tilts back on to her headrest, gazing over at you with that becomingly familiar gleam of adoration in her eyes.

This is where you decide you’ll burn the pages first chance you get, the promise of answers and knowledge isn’t worth losing Tara.

Tara fidgets with the radio, converse propped up on the dash, the small crack in the window making a subtle mess of her hair.

She’s beautiful. She’s everything to you.

Your eyes linger on Tara for a moment before you return your eyes to the road, content in your belly and a sense of home in your heart. As the radio crackles and a song begins to play, your eyes catch a street sign off to the right of the road.

Now Leaving California

Come Back Soon!

previous, next

AN: thank you all for following along and reading this story! It’s been a pleasure, an honor, and a privilege.

[dol-dee]

So... you imagine DoL set in the early 2000s? ME TOO. Tell me more about that!

aaaaaaa yes I do!!!! (Sorry for the late reply haha. I kept forgetting to come back to this ask) I think I started to feel that way pretty early on, since there's hardly any electronics around in game.

You don't have access to a phone yourself (which, admittedly makes sense as an orphan) but electronics get barely mentioned in general. (I'm guessing the true reason for it, is that it would be too much of a hassle to implement electronics as a mechanic in game. bc arguably you should easily be able to buy a phone or w/e later on, if dol actually took place in our time) Named npcs often have phones to record you with (which I kinda forgot about tbh lmao) but unless in that context, phones don't get brought up at all iirc. None of the named npcs ever ask you for your phone number and Social media isn't really a topic of conversation either.

The only Computers that I remember mentioned in game are Leightons, Mickey's, Kylars and the one you can check in the police station. (I don't remember if Bailey even has one or not.) They are far and few between. They also all read as desktop computers to me and not laptops. Hell, the only gaming Console to ever be a topic of interest, is Robins. I don't think we hear of/see any handheld conosles at all. Even TV's rarely get mentioned.

Pop Culture, like manga, anime and games doesn't seem to be a big thing yet either.

All of that gives me the impression that most electronic is still pretty sparse and hard to come around and kinda reminds me of my childhood when those interests where still conisdered niche/nerdy and weird. The few characters that have desktop pc's seem to be ones that had/have enough money (like Kylar, maybe Bailey?) to foot the bill, are either in a high enough position of power to own one (like leighton) or they're involved enough in shady business that they might have the resources to have their own equipment (Mickey).

tbf a lot of my reasoning can be argued against or easily explained away, but I think dol is infinitely more interesting as a game/story when it's set during the early/mid 2000s, where most electronics were still hard to come by.

Oh and last but not least: it simply makes for easier story telling haha. I think there would be way more ""plot holes"" you'd have trouble explaining away if it was set during modern times. considering how much digital surveilance we have nowadays.

Aside from all the examples I just brought up, dol just has that 2000s grime to me. It's so grungy and dank in it's vibes that it always reminds me of that timeframe. Just has that kinda clunky/kitschy charm to it. (a more eclectic personal explanation is that the seasons in game still feel the way I remember them for my childhood. nowadays everything feels really out of wack thanks to global warming. Although I'm sure that people who are older than me would say the same haha)

to keep this already long post short(er lmao) I'm gonna go into some headcanons under the cut; Basically which Characters have electronics and why:

Avery: has an expensive af and extremely clunky looking (by todays standards) work laptop, that she sometimes lugs around. Also owned one of the first mobile phones. Those really big and blocky ones. Maybe even had one of those phones that were built into cars. However, I think shed be kinda annoyed by mobile phones*, even if she's extremely diligent in answering her calls. (the grind never stops) *based on this comic from 1919 about pocketphones: Mostly because she strikes me as someone who doesn't care to be overly accessible and also hates it when whatever shes doing at the moment gets disrupted by something else.

Alex: Canonically has a phone in game. To me it's a landline phone. They don't own much electronics beside it. They have no desktop pc and no mobile phone. (canonically the own a tv and I feel like they'd have a radio, maybe even an old record player) Bailey: It would make sense for them to have a desktop computer but I can't remember if they canonically (and with that I mean in game) do have one or not. I could see it either way tbh. As they strike me as a stubborn hard ass whos paranoid about electronics and quickly gets annoyed by it) They only own burner phones aside from the official landline phone thats designated for "over the counter" orphanage business. Eden: Has an old ass radio and an extremely dusty burner phone that bailey gave them once. They don't own anything else

Harper: has a mobile phone they got from Remy, it's purely for business. I don't think they have one for personal business. They own a pager though bc of the hospital. They probably have a desktop pc too if only for hospital stuff.

Kylar: Has a Desktop pc, their parents footed the bill for that many screened monstrosity (tbf i dont know enough to remember if old pcs are even able to have several monitors connected to them or not). Probably had a mobile phone once. Whitney stole it. They own a few consoles but they prefer pc gaming (pc master race /j) Some 2000s era games (with no consideration for an exact timeframe) that I think Kylar would be into are : Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines American McGee's Alice Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 3 / Persona 3 Portable The Urbz: Sims in the City The Sims 2 The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

Robin: No mobile phone, the only electronics they keep around (until they inevitably need to sell them for emergency money) are an old tv and a gaming console. I have no concrete headcanons regarding the exact console and games unfortunately. (They seem to like superhero related stuff and I don't remember enough games that I associate with that direction of the top of my head)

Sydney: Has access to a landline phone but thats it. they don't have a mobile phone. Maybe they got to look at/ try out a pc at Kylars house once upon a time, but I don't think Sirris has one themself. I might be off with this but I could see Sirris being the one who bought a few early nintendo consoles like the SNES and Game Cube. Maybe even a gameboy.

Whitney: I don't think Whitney or their family is particularly wealthy so all of the access to electronics that they got, is either through wealthier friends, bullying or stealing. They have a mobile phone and probably a few handheld consoles they nabbed off their victims (in secret).

[safyresky]

Scrimbly Jacqueline 10/52: Prepping for MARCH with a well deserved SPA DAY AT THE SPRINGS BABY.

LOOK AT HER. LOOK AT MY GIRL.

Ty @someheroescarryfloss for the suggestion!

You bet your ASS she gets a spa day. I could use one myself, tbh, lmao. ANYWAY I read your suggestion and .1 seconds later I went OH MY GOD A SOAK AT THE SPRINGS.

March is her least favourite month. Spring gears up, and so does Winter--it's a DOOZY and more often than not she gets pulled into it. By mid-March, she's hiding; by April, both she and Jack are off the grid. It's vacation time, they say. Fuck Spring, Winter replies, throwing an ice storm at us mid-April AFTER WE'VE ALL CHANGED OUR WINTER TIRES TO THE SUMMER ONES--

Ok I'm calm. Cool. Chill. Uh. Here's the not-app brightened version! Fun fact! This one looked better on mobile, and when I went to desktop, the brighter app-brightened version popped more, lol. One day. I'll have a place. With natural lighting enough. to take good photos of my silly little scribbles. ANYWAY. NO FILTER:

Some FUN FACTS about this one:

had to scroll real far down on Jacquie's Pinterest board to find the swimsuit inspo. ended up not even using one of the pinned ones (but it is pinned now!)

top purple bit was gonna be white. but. well. we all know my struggle with lack of white-ish marker 🫠🫠🫠. and purple is my fave colour! and maybe jacqueline's too, lol

idk how to shade but i had so much fun colouring I gave it a go :)

seriously. SO much fun colouring. I couldn't NOT picture this one w/out a background, EVEN IF IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THIS

please imagine steam lines wafting. it is hot and steamy at this particular spring set. it's a bunch of little pools that are VERY HOT for muscle hurty reasons.

the orange drink IS frozie and IS alcoholic

she likes strawberries a normal amount

she will eat the cucumbers on her eyeballs lol

her hair simply will not stay up in a bun, hence why it is spilling out to one side in a very 80s manner lol

water reflections are FUN but i wish i had kept going bc now that bottom left corner is bugging me

ALSO. I DO THESE ON SCRAP PIECES OF PAPER, AND LET ME TELL YOU. COLOURING WITH THE MIXED MEDIA I USE???? IT IS A WEAK WEAK PIECE OF PAPER NOW!!! I NEED TO COLIBRI THAT BAD BOY ASAP. MAYBE EVEN FIND A SCRAP BACKING FOR IT, WEEEEEE~

I am very tired. and probably still will be when I post this tomorrow lol. THE TIRED JUST DOES NOT QUIT. Anyway, plz enjoy this scrimbly, brought to you in part by YOUR REQUESTS! hell yeah >:)

[murumokirby360]

My PC Screen Upgrades Review - Part 5 "Final" (w/ my paper dolls) [Recorded on Jan 21st & 26th, 2024]

Hello, February! The wait is over! 😁 Because here’s the final "Part 5" of my “PC Screen Upgrades Review” (featuring my paper dolls). Yup, this is my second attempt after I replaced the CPU cooling and added two PC fans in June of 2023. 🖥️🔧 This year is for the screen monitor by replacing/installing this trio of PC-related items! 😁

But before that, if you haven’t seen my previous topics that related to my “PC Upgrades”, then I’ll provide some links down below: ↓ 😉

- My PC Cooling Upgrades Review - • Part 1 [First Half] [Recorded on Jun 9th, 2023] • Part 1 [Second Half] [Recorded on Jun 9th, 2023] • Part 2 [First Half] [Recorded on Jun 9th, 2023] • Part 2 [Second Half] (Final) [Recorded on Jun 9th, 2023]

- My NVME Upgrade - • Part 1: Samsung SSD 970 EVO Plus NVMe M.2 SSD (1TB) Review [Apr 7th, 2023] • Part 2: Thermalright M.2 2280 Pro Review [Apr 11th, 2023] • Part 3: Installation and trial & error [Recorded on Apr 21st, 2023] (published: Apr 22nd, 2023) • Part 4: Another Trial & Error [Apr 21st, 2023] (published: Apr 22nd, 2023 • Part 5: Timing comparison - HDD vs SSD NVMe M.2 Drive [Apr 25th, 2023] • Part 6 (Final): Samsung Magician & HWiNFO Softwares [Apr 25th, 2023]

And don’t forget this “Part 1, 2, 3, and 4" in case you missed it → [CLICK ME! For Part 1], [CLICK ME! For Part 2], [CLICK ME! For Part 3], [CLICK ME! For Part 4].

So, without further ado, let’s get started:

My Recorded Video [edited by: Filmora 9] 🎦🎞️:

• In the final part, you could see my computer desk overhauled, with the exception my desktop tower. The monitor and the extension sockets were changed to a different brand (Pensonic and Cherry Home). 🖥️🔌⚡And do you remember from my "Part 4" when the old AOC monitor had a spark sound by the time I turned on my custom PC? Well, it's dead. I wish I could fix it, but I don't have the tools to detect the old monitor's problem. 😞 As a result, my HDMI to VGA converter is now useless... 😥 Damn, I wasted my ₱250 fund. But it's okay, I could sell it at the same price, anyway. 🤷‍♀️ Nevertheless, after a long day of troubleshooting and tips on how our PC works, I turned on my PC by pressing a single power button, and my PC was brought back to life by a blinking red light! 😃 Now I turned on my new monitor to see if it works, and it does! My installation was a success! And man, I missed you so much, custom PC! It's been 7 months of being inactive and now you're alive! 🖥️😄 Then, I had to check the interior of my PC by removing the cover, and you could see they all functioning in all light up from the new PC power supply to the new GPU card! Uh yeah, I've also mentioned that our telephone and router were changed, with the latter changed from a four-antenna router to a two-antenna router which is a downgrade for our family. 😒 However, my new monitor's position was too low causing my head to tilt down and it was uncomfortable to view. So, 5 days later, my parents decided to add some floor tiles as an improvised stand booster of sorts, and I put two LEGO blocks on each leg for a little angle to make it a proper view 🧱➡️🖥️, since my 22-inch TV monitor (from Pensonic) wasn't designed for angle screen adjustment, unlike the actual computer monitors. You noticed I removed two universal adapter switches, but I'll re-attach these, soon. 🔌⚡ Another thing was my RGB LED light bulb was replaced with a white LED light bulb because my RGB light was dead, since September of 2023. But, I've bought a better one, so I'll reveal it, coming soon. Nevertheless, the 22-inch TV monitor includes a TV remote which is more convenient than pressing buttons at the back (any sides) of the monitor/television. Okay so, it's not NEW-NEW or as in literally "Brand New", but rather my big brother gave it to me. Plus, my dad won the prize from a raffle. So, congrats Dad. 👨🖥️🥳 So, what's the culprit of being unable to turn on my custom PC? 🤔 Well, the "DDR4 RAM Memory sticks" that will soon be decommissioned, after a long years of usage. 😮 However, these two RAMS we're functioned as usual with only my elbow grease and a luck. It looks like I'll invest in brand-new RAM memory sticks when these old RAM ones finally giving out, someday. 💵

1st to 12th Image(s) 📷📲 & Aftermath: ↑

• Here are some of the photos that I took, and I'm happy to report that my PC is still working after this moment. 🖥️🖱️😁 There are a few things that I want to address, as of February 2024. Like the 22-inch TV monitor had a few dead pixel lines when I view in black/dark mode, and the BIOS intro screen was skipped when I turned on the TV monitor first then the PC. The latter will work it out, soon after I browse and watch the tutorials via the web. 🌐🤔 But hey, on the bright side, my paper dolls we're happy to see my PC finally come back to life and they seem to be enjoying themselves from the gorgeous lights from the interior. 😄💡🖥️ Plus, they liked the new look, and with the 22-inch screen they could enjoy watching videos, or heck maybe re-visiting their "Chowder" episodes in 1080p High-Definition! Right, you two? Hehe 😁 Yes, I forgot to mention, that this TV monitor handles 1080p in a standard 60Hz rather than higher 120 or 160Hz.😅 Yeah, I'm okay with that. 😊👍

IMPORTANT NOTE: Pls, don't mind about that 1.5 litre coke. Its a improvised mouse trap. So, please don't mind that. ☝️😮

Final Overall:

• I'm so very happy to see my custom PC has risen like a Phoenix thanks to my two new PC parts that we've installed and some of my elbow grease 🖥️🔧, except my HDMI to VGA converter. And you know, there was a VGA port built-in at the back of the 22-inch TV monitor, though. Then I thought to myself, Nah... I would rather use an HDMI cable that we're lying around and use it instead of the VGA + converter combined. After all, the HDMI cable/port had already a superior approach when it comes to quality screen over the old-style VGA cable/port. Aside from the BIOS problem, as I said in my video, this isn't my final PC desktop look because there are some things or parts that I want to replace, like my two DDR4 RAM Memory Sticks (currently: PROVISION DDR4 8GB RAM (2x4GB) with 2133Mhz speed) will soon be decommissioned, and the entire PC desktop case which has to be replaced for a newer design look. But for now, "Functional" is important to me over appearance, and soon I'll take care of the latter. 😊🖥️ But right now, I'm enjoying reuniting my custom PC with blazing reading speeds from an NVMe card, and a serious GPU Card limit. More PC parts will be installed soon. 😉

Well, that's the end of my topic! More topics coming up, soon. 😊

Tagged: @lordromulus90, @bryan360, @carmenramcat, @leapant, @rafacaz4lisam2k4, @paektu, @alexander1301

[mlobsters]

supernatural s11e3 the bad seed (w. brad buckner, eugenie ross-leming)

who brought the janky subaru to the mega coven? rowena looking fabulous per usual. oh, i guess she's in a ... scrapyard? keeping it classy

i think i might need to go back to being a little bit high to watch this show. downside is it messes with my ability to remember a bit more than my usual garbage memory (though it is mostly offset by making these posts). upside.. easier to let things roll off my back.

SAM Well, God kicked this thing's ass once before, right? DEAN Yeah, it'd be nice if he put down the Mai Tai and show up for work. CASTIEL I wouldn't count on it. SAM It's possible he's around. Closer than we think, you know? DEAN What makes you say that?

dean not talking about his ~bond~ with the darkness, sam not saying how he had some freaky flashbacks after praying to god. and almost dying from the zombie juice. sigh. i don't like complaining this much either!

DEAN Come on, Crowley, pick up. I've left you a dozen messages. Why isn't he answering the phone? SAM Because he's a dick, and that's not breaking news.

lol good one, sam

DEAN You know where you are? What's the date? CASTIEL Earth. Several billion years from the beginning.

there's the snarky cas i can get behind

i am 90% convinced they foley'd in a sloshing sound when he initially sat up, but the clinking chains and the groaning has me not totally sure

LOL sam pulling his hand back slowly during this explanation. also good job with the captioning an accented e netflix :p

little angel and demon worker bee bonding at the bar about the bosses being useless, how very good omens

using my boop boop 10+ year makeup fixation i'm like, I KNOW THIS.

that ultra thin compact design is unusual and screams luxury. searching the brain archives and i'm fairly certain that's a marc jacobs bronzer or contour compact. not that i ever bought or used one. but 2015 for sure was still in the thick of the fixation which included lots of beauty youtube

anyway.

CROWLEY That's God for you. Not really thought out. The whole big bang thing? More of a big bust. I mean, boom, bang, stars, evolution, Taylor Swift. I'm guessing you'd have done things differently.

again, how does this jive with other gods?

getups are reminding me of the airport scene disguises in 12 monkeys (1995) crossed with dodgson from jurassic park. i know it's all generic but brain's always trying to find connections

very nice handwritten instructions they left cas with

ooh a slightly messy desktop, zooming in with glee. *come on, untitled 1 and 2, make a comeback!* shame. but it's all on-brand. and that chonky hard drive, 1.5+TB

i know the fetishizing asian women is dean's Thing, but could we please PLEASE fucking drop it.

are we gonna odd couple our way to all work together against amara?

i thought he was familiar, it's rafe from the magicians!

the magicians s2e13 we have brought you little cakes - sergio osuna as rafe

ROWENA You wouldn't think a road trip with two such strapping lads could be this tedious. Shall we have a wee sing-song?

oh, see, sam is not telling dean so many things i've lost track. almost dying and talking to god and getting an answer-ish, deal with rowena to remove the mark paid with crowley's (unsuccessful) death, what else

SAM Look, I was gonna tell you. Obviously, nothing ever came of it, so I-I figured there was no point, you know? DEAN No point, huh? ROWENA I-I mean, I see what Dean's saying. Your wee pal Castiel wouldn't be in this pickle if you'd done what you'd promised. I would've had no reason to cast the attack dog spell if Crowley were already dead. Excellent point. DEAN It's not my point. Sam knows my point. Keyword -- secrets. ROWENA Ah, well, I'm just glad I got the conversation flowing. Family relations are a speciality of mine.

can we just get rowena to spill the beans on all their bullshit lies and be done with it?

this show will make any excuse to beat the shit out of dean and get him on his knees, bleeding

SAM Hey. You should keep applying that. DEAN Thanks, mom. You just keep the beers comin'.

like you wouldn't nag sam the same way

CASTIEL Dean, I can fix that. DEAN No, no. It's fine, Cas. Besides, I had it comin'.

doing penance, how very dean. had it comin for what now? trying to scroll through dean's latest fuckups but keeping track of his with sam and the world at large (and sam with him and the world) and castiel apparently is Too Much.

ah i didn't notice until scrolling through the trivia bits on the wiki that jackles directed this one too

[tathrin]

👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about? ✨ Choose three adjectives to complement your own writing.⏰ Do you spend more time reading fic, writing fic, or do you do both equally?

👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about?

Well, I don't have the very first stories I wrote on a computer anymore because they died when the old family desktop did, but I have brought all my files along with me ever since I got my own laptop for college, so let's go have a peek in my oldest folders...

From Star Wars:

Ooh look, here's Baby Tathrin's Very Mature And Not-At-All Mary-Sue-ish Lengthy Backstory Novel for Rhysati Ynr, who deserved so much more character development and screentime than Rogue Squadron gave her and I'll do it myself if I have to, dammit, fic... Yeah, I still think Rhys deserved more story-time, but I'm definitely never going back to that fic because I'm not thirteen anymore XD

Bounty Hunter's Winter, which was supposed to be a young-Boba-Fett-grudgingly-teams-up-with-Sheltay-Retrac-in-Clone-Wars/Purge-Era and then timeskips to juxtapose with an-experienced-Boba-Fett-grudgingly-teams-up-with-a-young-Winter-in-Rebellion-Era fic that basically just existed to show How Fucking Competent all three of them were. There's nothing wrong with this one, it's just not got enough framework/point to be interesting going back to now.

Padmé Jedi Prequels is the working-title for a what-if? re-writing of the Prequel Trilogy where Padmé, you guessed it, was a Jedi too. Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon still get sent to deal with the Trade Federation over Naboo, but Obi-Wan has been recently Knighted and Padmé is Qui-Gon's new Padawan. I do like what I have written for this one, but it would be a LOT of work to write the rest of it (basically: everything between "landing on Tatooine" and "the ending scenes w/ the Purge"), and the canon has changed sooooo much since I started working on it that I'd either have to re-work a lot of details or just throw my hands up and go "this is pre-Clone Wars tv show continuity reconstructed from memory, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!" and know that everyone, including me, is going to be so fucking confused lmao.

From Lord of the Rings:

Okay I'm so glad you asked this question mainly for this answer, because I had completely forgotten I ever did this, but: apparently back when I was in college, I started writing a story where a portion of the Fellowship along with Elrond's kids, Faramir, Éowyn, and Éomer were all re-embodied (in the case of the mortals and Arwen) or sent from Aman (in the case of the elf, half-elves, and dwarf) to go deal with some Terrible New Threat by...pretending to be Normal Modern Humans Undercover In College, I guess??? The only things I ever wrote for it were the intro, an "everybody tries to figure out how modern clothing works in a big department store and it's a Disaster, thank goodness they have Éowyn there to wrangle everyone" scene, a snippet of Legolas and Gimli being Very Good At Acting Like Humans on a balcony and annoying Aragorn, and Legolas nearly having a stroke when a bartender serves Gimli and not him, because "he's clearly old enough, but you look way too young; sorry kid try again when you have a better fake ID."

I've also got an ancient Three Hunters get pulled into the Star Wars universe post-War of the Rings when Artoo and Threepio's escape pod lands in Gondor instead of Tatooine story that I can't imagine I'll ever touch again, but does admittedly have some amusing (if very painfully Old Writing) bits written for it, so that was nice to look at (and wince over) again.

Also there's this, of course.

From the X-Men Comics:

A fanfic about a New Excalibur Team being formed that actually has (if I do say so myself, and I will) an excellent beginning, but which I failed to write-down the Actual Planned Plot of, and now I can no longer remember wtf I was going to do with the damn story, so it's probably never going to get any further since that's uhhh. kind of an important part of Writing A Story lmao.

One where Illyana gets shunted back to Mythical Camelot somehow when she dies during Inferno, irritates/distresses Merlin, befriends both Guienevere and Mordred, annoys Morgan le Fay, learns some advanced magic, and eventually has to help destroy Mordred to save everyone else; only then does she find her way back to the present, and comes back to life several years after her younger self has died of the Legacy Virus to be re-united with Kitty and the New Mutants. Given that in the (many) years since I started that fic, Illyana already has been resurrected it's uhhh. kind of a moot point of a story now lol.

Also there's surely some half-started Potter stories sitting around here that idk if I'll ever feel the urge to touch again (Green-Eyed Snake included). Maybe the burst of celebration I'll feel the day she just self-combusts from all that hate and finally just fucking dies will be inspiring...

✨ Choose three adjectives to complement your own writing.

Detailed, plausible, and most especially verbose ;)

⏰ Do you spend more time reading fic, writing fic, or do you do both equally?

Writing, definitely; although I've read a lot more fic in the past few months than I'd read for years, and I'm enjoying it mightily (navigating on AO3 is sooooooooooo much better than trying to slog through FFnet and livejournal and geocities omgggggg I can actually find good stories now, what is this witchcraft???).

[babycatlix]

hi friends 💖

just checking in! i know i've been a little inactive lately, besides my queue and me occasionally reblogging old sets that have hit milestones, i haven't really been here. don't worry, i'm not leaving or taking a hiatus... there will be a TL;DR at the end bc i know not everyone cares about these posts, which is totally okay!

there is a reason for my inactiveness, i've been a little distracted lately but mostly distracted this week. i had planned to make more gifsets, but my laptop keeps disconnecting from the internet randomly (a fairly new issue) and the internal fan keeps turning on (an ongoing issue); it's on rn and the only thing i have open is chrome to make this post, which is making my laptop overheat; making it run a lot slower.

since this has been happening, i asked my parents if i could possibly replace my laptop with a desktop computer. i am an apple kid (there is no right between macs or pcs; it's all personal opinion!), so i do want to get an imac. i've actually wanted an imac for a while now, but i didn't get one when my parents offered to buy me my laptop back in 2016, when i was let go from my previous job, that treated me terribly. the stipulation for my parents actually buying my laptop was it HAD to be a laptop. their thinking was that i would need a laptop if i got another graphic design job... which i never did. if i had gotten a desktop back then, i would've had to pay for it, which i didn't have the money for. so i took the generosity of my parents and i got my current laptop, which i do love and will forever be grateful for. but my laptop is approaching 8 years old, which is pretty old for a macbook pro. it is still up to date with the latest software, but it just runs so slow due to age. another reason i want an imac, i can't keep sitting in my bed on a laptop, i need to sit at a desk. my chronic back pain has been getting worse and i know it's partly due to how i sit in my bed all the time on my laptop.

but a lot of things need to happen before i can even get the new computer, i need to get a new desk that will accommodate the new computer, i need a new chair; the one i currently have has zero back support which i need, and i really want a nice customized mechanical keyboard. so i've been busy this week looking at keyboards, desks, and computer chairs. my parents agreed to pay for half of the imac as a hanukkah gift! so i have time to get everything together. and of course not all of these are things that i need to have to get the new computer, but they are things i want.

i've wanted a nice mechanical keyboard for a while and i do love my current mechanical keyboard, RK84. i use it for work and everyone loves the RGB effects on it! but i want one that i have completely customized. the board, switches, and keycaps. ironically, the keyboard i've been looking at is the same keyboard that felix customized and showed off recently, the GMMK Pro, which for some reason is really hated OR really loved in the mechanical keyboard community... but i really just want the board part. i want a heavy metal keyboard, but i don't know what switches i want yet or what keycaps i want. it's funny though bc the current switches i'm used to are glorious switches, they're the purple kailh pros. i love them, but i don't know if they're what want i want for my at-home typing and gifmaking. i'm using them right now to type this post. they are really good for quick typing but still have a little bump to let you know that you've hit the key hard enough. so they're great for work where i type emails daily.

the keycaps i'm also interested in, akko black translucent w/ green print, may need to have a special switch so that the RGB on the keyboard shines through better. i brought my RK84 home to actually change the keycaps so i can test out the ASA profile of the keys for a while before i actually decide on the keycaps. but the only type available is linear switches, which in the past, were too sensitive for me. i would always knock into incorrect keys when typing and make a lot of mistakes. but i'm really used to typing on a mechanical keyboard now (so used to it that i hate flat mac keyboards now lol), so the linear switches may not be an issue now.

anyway, i know that was a lot and again, it's okay if you didn't read any of it and just scrolled down here to see the cliff notes version:

TL;DR: i know i've been a little inactive lately, but i've been distracted with trying to update my desk setup. and my laptop keeps disconnecting from the internet making it harder for me to actually upload gifsets. but i'm going to try to at least make gifs this weekend. i may or may not be able to actually have them drafted.

i hope you're all doing well. if no one's told you recently, i'm proud of you and you're doing great! 💖 please stay safe out there and stay hydrated my friends! 💖

[theuniverseawakens347]

India love .. why did I like you .. ME PERSONALLY … we got the same face but I never looked at this til someone brought the abs to my attention.. prolly the same reasons ( nodes ona plant) why ya stalked me gentle then went lemme dominate.

Ur pretty I find myself pretty but never over power it amongst someone I know feels less than bout themselves. 1a. You in competition with me I leave .. WE ARE FRIENDS A BUDDY SYSTEM NOT ON A BASKETBALL TEAM … why I like track IN MY OWN LANE DONT TOUCH ME … Basketball im tall n tiny fast YA WON OVER POWER ME .. I GET MAD WHEN SOMEONE PUSH ME W INTENT TO HURT ME.. ( Howard ur different IM IN MONK MOMENT KARATE KID.. IM TRAINING FOR CONTROL I have loose anger I threw my fucking Mac DESKTOP ACROSS THE ROOM NO THINKING … it a material thing that can be replaced NO MATTER THE COST AND TIME TO GET ME THERE… why I LOVE MY ANIMALS EVEN WANDA AND I WENT THRU A WEIRD THING BUT COSMO IMMEDIATELY MY BABY LIKE NEFFI MY WOMB CHILD REINCARNATED ME AS A KID… DDG!!! AN ESTORS NO HAPPY!!!)

we have the same vibe BRIGHT AS SMILE LIGHTS UP A FUCKING ROOM.. mine brings you in to learn more ( then turns sexual) URS IS GOLDEN KURLS INNOCENCE TO SEX YOU IN .. HAlle Bailey have baby for inner HO to come out but say “ I appreciate body for the life it made” ME YOUR WHORE N YOU USE ME AS A ASSET TO KEEP A IMAGE THAT WASNT FOR YOU!!! BLASPHEMY ON MY NAME N BODY!!!! 3. India men get lost in both our eyes the soul shows but urs is to trap you for sex.. at 16.. specific photo of you and Ron when you shine the bright you were jr Halle to DDG there … ( LEE SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PREYED ON THIS GIRL BC SHE HAD A WOMAN BODY AS A YOUNG AGE N DATING WHAT YOU DEEM A WEEK MAN.. so YOU on the back end SPED UP HER AGING LIKE YOU DID LEXI N MADE EM SEXXXXX DRIVEN FIRST AND FORMOST. ) … you lost ur innocence in trauma I kept mine it carried me thru the dance of life when to submit one energy and own the other … you cal laying down for dead vs conquering SURRENDER TO LEARN N GROW IS NOT WEAKNESS … CONQUERING W NO LOGIC BUT TO OWN IS SLAVERY TERRORISM ENTRAPMENT ( thru sex A EASY KILL FOR A MISGUIDED MAN .. THEY ARE NOT WEAK… u dream em broke that means weak… THEY TAKE ADVANGTge of like India but like I said SOME ARE GIVE A PLAYGROUND TO LET THEIR INNER WORSE FANTASIES RUN RAMPANT AND OVER RIDE THE ILLUSION OF FEAR AS THIS IS AND WILL AND ALWAYS WAS…when no)

ur writing or talking westbrooks.. I say words in mesh for everyone reading but you get what’s for you 🙏🏾

[adoringhaikyuu]

Hi again! (I'm not sure if Tumblr ate my last request so I'm sending via desktop again, just in case ;w;) If you're still taking requests, could I ask for maybe a part three of "THEY FIND OUT YOU HOOKED UP WITH THEIR FRIEND/TEAMMATE BEFORE YOU STARTED DATING" but with an insecure Tendou, Kita, Sugawara, and Asahi please? <3

THEY FIND OUT YOU HOOKED UP WITH THEIR FRIEND/TEAMMATE BEFORE YOU STARTED DATING | 4

characters: asahi + sugawara + tendou + (gn!reader)

warnings: a little suggestive

notes: i don't write for kita! <3

part one / part two / part three / part four

asahi:

you hooked up with daichi when you were second years

all you did was makeout and it was only once, completely random when you guys were studying together

you mutually agreed it was a one time thing and didn't really bring it up again

until tanaka came along one day

"hey y/n!" as soon as you heard the playful tone in his voice, you knew it wouldn't be good. he smiled and stood in front of you and asahi. it was summer break after graduation and the whole team was hanging out at the park together, as a goodbye party.

"yes tanaka?"

"who's the better kisser? asahi or daichi?"

you blinked, then blinked again. "i'm sorry, what?–"

"bottom line is, daichi implied he's got more moves than me and i need a second opinion. i know you guys kissed before so i can ask you. and i'm not about to disrespect my boy asahi over here so i'll ask you to compare them and not me and daichi, you know cause then i'd have to kiss you, not that i don't want to or anything! but you know i respect your relationship––"

"yeah okay––" you cut him off, knowing he'd ramble for hours if you didn't stop him. "well," you glanced over at asahi before looking back at tanaka, noticing the blush and bewildered expression on your boyfriend's face. "no offense to daichi, i mean we were just stupid kids then so he may have gotten better now, but my answer is asahi." you smiled, grabbing his hand, feeling warm when he squeezed your hand.

you rolled your eyes when tanaka let out an overly exaggerated, victorious laugh as he strutted back to an exasperated daichi who was just trying to enjoy his snack.

you turned to your boyfriend, noticing the worried look on his face, he was clearly deep in thought, and you'd bet all your money that they weren't good ones.

"baby?" you spoke softly, placing a hand on his cheek, smiling when he practically jumped up and looked into your eyes, as if he forgot you were sitting there.

"yes? sorry i uh––" he laughed awkwardly.

"you're thinking about the whole daichi and me kissing thing?" he nodded sheepishly, giving you a strained smile. "i'm sorry i never brought it up before, we were young and all we did was kiss one time. i didn't mention it because it's not important." you moved closer to him and looked at him earnestly, smiling when he leaned into your touch. "you're important to me, okay?"

he smiled genuinely for the first time in a while and nodded, "okay. thank you honey." he brought his own hand to your cheek, a playful glint in his eyes. "can i have a kiss? think that'll make me feel better."

you laughed, already leaning in. "of course."

sugawara:

you and asahi "hooked up" at the one party sugawara didn't go to in high school

you played spin the bottle/seven minutes in heaven and on your turn it ended up landing on him

so you went into the closet and seven minutes later, a red-faced asahi walked out with you, leading everyone to believe a lot went down in there

but to be honest all you did was kiss a little, he was just extremely flustered

you didn't really talk about it afterwards, you both mutually agreed that it wasn't really worth discussing again sjfhdg

which is why you never told sugawara, there was nothing worth mentioning

it wasn't until one day that suga was hanging out with the boys that he found out

tanaka and nishinoya were laughing at their upperclassman and the way his cheeks immediately turned red somehow from both embarrassment and flattery at the comments two passing girls made.

'he's really hot, huh? in like a dangerous way.'

'yeah, he looks like he's beat up a few people.'

'maybe even gone to jail.'

'yeah but i'm into that–"

asahi's eyes had widened before he sunk down in his seat, cheeks redder than ever, conflicted about how to feel. "man..."

the second years were full on cackling and even sugawara was stifling a laugh, patting his friend on the back reassuringly.

tanaka wiped a tear from his eye, "man you haven't been this red since you and y/n hooked up at that party a couple years ago."

sugawara's smile slid off his face slowly, as his hand fell away from asahi's shoulder.

the brunet seemed to blush even more, his eyes almost bulging out of his head as he flailed his hands around. "wait what––hold on––"

"oh come on man," noya spoke up, waving him off. "we all saw how red you were when you walked out of that closet, we know what happened." he raised his brows up and down and suga felt something gnawing inside of him.

he cleared his throat awkwardly, "um you––you guys hooked up?"

asahi turned to him immediately, "no no! not really, we only kissed i swear."

suga nodded but it was clear he wasn't focused. he plastered a fake smile on his face for the rest of the day until he made his way home to you.

you perked up as soon as he opened the front door. "hi kou."

there was an indiscernible look on his face as he approached you, a sheepish smile that didn't reach his eyes. "hi sweetheart."

he wrapped his arms around you in a hug but you could tell something was wrong. "what's up?"

he went to shake his head but with one raise of your brow, he decided against it. "i just–" he gave a half-hearted laugh and scratched the back of his head. "i didn't know you and asahi hooked up or kissed or whatever...i mean it's not that it bothers me or anything but...okay yeah it kinda does––"

you paused, "well...i never said anything because it didn't mean anything to me." he nodded and grabbed your hands, choosing to focus on them instead. "i don't have and never had feelings for asahi. only you." you squeezed his hands and he looked back into your eyes, the usual brightness quickly finding its way back to his own. "okay? i'm all yours. please don't worry about this."

"you know what? you're right." he smiled and pulled you impossibly closer, leaning forward so that his lips were grazing yours. "you're mine and no one else's. and it's gonna stay that way."

you licked your lips and looked into his eyes, a small smile on your face. "just kiss me already."

he chuckled and leaned in, "anything for you."

tendou:

you and ushijima hooked up once

you were honestly surprised that he wanted to but you weren't complaining

it was just a one time thing because he was really focused on volleyball and didn't want any distractions

you were fine with that since you kinda had your eye on tendou to be honest

you started dating him weeks later and you were together ever since

now tendou liked to brag about you to literally everyone about everything about you

out of nowhere too

if anything reminded him of you, he'd bring you up no matter the conversation

he just couldn't believe you were his

he just wasn't expecting that today his best friend would agree with his praise so confidently

"everything about y/n is perfect i mean, those lips––" tendou paused to groan and roll his eyes exaggeratedly, a goofy smile on his face as he reminisced over your touch.

ushijima nodded and sipped his drink. "y/n is a very good kisser, yes."

tendou nodded absentmindedly going along with it. "oh you have no idea––" he paused and looked over at his friend, a curious look on his face. "...right?"

ushijima simply blinked. "i do not understand."

the redhead leaned forward, eyes narrowed. "how do you know y/n is a good kisser?"

"because we've kissed before."

now it was tendou's turn to blink. "i'm sorry, what?"

"i believe the term used is 'hooked up'."

the smile slowly slid off of tendou's face as an unidentifiable feeling rose in his chest. "oh..." ushijima nodded, not realizing the stress he was causing his friend. "how...how many times did you guys hook up?"

"only once. i did not want any distractions and y/n agreed it was better to not continue. she had feelings for someone else."

tendou could feel himself slowly slipping away from the conversation and mentally checking out as he zoned out. was he really your third choice? maybe you were dating him out of pity or something, he was never anyone's first choice. but you'd been together for so long. did you just settle? "oh yeah?"

ushijima hummed. "you."

this got tendou's attention back. "huh?"

ushijima's stare was unwavering but he tilted his head in confusion. he thought he knew this. "y/n has liked you for a long time. i'm surprised you did not know this. they were," he put the next word in air quotes, "crazy about you."

he excused himself to go the bathroom and tendou sat there, a growing smile and a look of disbelief on his face. you had turned down ushiwaka for him?

pulling his phone out of his pocket, he immediately tapped to his conversation with you.

tendou: hey sugar, you home? :)

y/n: yeah just waiting up for you <3 come home soon i miss u!

he smiled at the screen, yeah, he was going to be just fine. he was someone's first choice. yours.

LEAVE A TIP <3 (if you'd like)

[korasonata]

Welp. Since the first post seemed to be popular, how about round 2? Favourite moments from Joe and Cleo’s paper craft model stream pt. 2! (Slightly longer list)

—

Cleo: You can recommend a metal ruler, I don’t have a metal ruler.

Joe (currently in the United States): Oh! I have a metal ruler! You wanna borrow mine Cleo?

Cleo (currently in England): Oh yeah yeah. Just throw it. I’ll grab it. It’s fine!

—

Joe (talking about Fall Out and Mass Effect): Ok, but they are different.

Cleo: They are indeed different. One is in space and the other is in the fallout of our disastrous choices.

Joe: Oh. Well there’s always space for disastrous choices around here.

Cleo: I mean especially with you on the call.

Joe: I know, right?

—

Cleo (talking to chat): I figured it out! Aren’t you proud of me?

Joe (quietly): I am.

Cleo: Joe is. That’s all that counts, really. Joe’s proud of me, no one else matters.

—

Joe: Where’s my whistle? This is going to drive me crazy, hold on I’ll be back.

Cleo (sarcastically): It’s ok. Joe is off to find a whistle, because that is the important thing that-

Joe: I found it!

*train whistle noises*

Cleo: …that’s really cool.

—

Cleo: I do have a fairly good standard of patience. Me and Joe are friends for example. I mean that’s usually a fairly good tell.

—

Cleo (having brought 5 blades for cutting): *laughing* One blade for the model and 4 blades to threaten Joe! *laughing* I haven’t threatened Joe yet. Sometimes I don’t.

Joe: So I think it was actually 5 blades for the Elven kings under the sky. 3 for the Dwarf lords in their halls of stone.

Cleo (excited): And 8 for men! I need-

Joe: 9 for the mortal men doomed to die.

Cleo: Yeah, I think I need more.

Joe: And 1 for Joe Hills in his dark home.

Cleo: Yeah, yeah I think I need more. I need more blades!

—

Cleo: This garbage shall all become clear. I’m getting annoyed now cause I’m calling things garbage. That’s how you know.

SILENCE

Cleo: Generally very chill…

SILENCE

Cleo: And you might not agree with me, but I am…

SILENCE

Cleo: I notice Joe’s being exceptionally quiet.

—

Joe (reading chat): “use the knife back, not front”, ah! Thank you Badger! That would probably give me a shallower score.

Cleo: …I did…say that…Right at the beginning...

Joe: Well yeah, but…sometimes-

Cleo: Sometimes, Joe, you don’t listen. And-

Joe: Well no, I mean, I listen but I wanted to try it…the other way…first. To see…

Cleo: Mhm, mhm, did you. And how’d that work out for you?

—

Cleo (reading chat): “confetti everywhere” it’s not confetti, it’s my hopes and dreams.

—

Joe: We’re building different kits, but they’re both models of the same castle.

Cleo: Yep. Except my model is larger than Joe’s.

Joe (speaking in a bad English accent): Larger.

Cleo: w-…are you taking the mick out of my accent?

Joe: No. Cause I don’t know what a mick is.

Cleo: *deep sigh*

—

Cleo (gluing parts): And now we hold the chimney.

Both (singing in tandem): Chim chimney, chim chimney, chim chim cher-oo!

Cleo: I likes what I does, and I does what I do!

Joe: Chim chimino, chim chimino, chim chim Cleo!

Cleo: *snickering* you got an ending for that one?

Joe: She likes to do paper craft models with Joe!

Cleo: I mean, I’m not sure “like” is the way of doing it, but yeah-

Joe: She tolerates paper cra-

—

Cleo (in response to Joe talking about making Cubfan and Scar his desktop background): Joe? Would you- would you mind not? Informing the world of your love? I’d appreciate that.

Joe: The hearts aren’t drawn, they’re carved.

Cleo (mocking): You can’t just take away the hearts!

Joe (mocking English accent): Just take away the heeeeaaarts.

Cleo: …Shut up Joe.

Joe (whining): Nooo!

Cleo (whining more): Yeeeees!

Joe (sad): Ok…

—

Joe (distressed): Cleo, I don’t know if I can cry anymore…

Cleo: Yeah you can Joe, I believe in you.

Joe (with anguish): I’m already maxing that out!

Cleo: I believe in you Joe! You can always cry a little bit more!

Joe (completely broken): I can always cry a li-*inaudible sobbing*

—

Joe (singing): When the castle is done, We will have so much fun!

Cleo (singing): That’s amore!

Joe (talking): Kay, I think I figured out a way to score this without cutting-

Cleo (singing darkly): When this doesn’t work, and you wanna gouge out your eyes, that’s—

—

Joe: I am apparently lorge on the screen. I am both lorge and in chorge. But don’t tell Cleo that, cause she’s actually in chorge and will be mad.

—

Cleo: What did my mum used to say to me…*deep thought*…Stop it. Mostly.

—

Cleo (reading chat): is Cleo even helping you?

Joe: *laughing* No? Why- what- why would I expect Cleo to help me? I’ve known Cleo for a long time. We- we’re past having unrealistic expectations of each other.

Cleo: RUDE! *laughing* Accurate, but rUDE!

—

Joe: So, until next time y’all. This is Joe Hills from Nashville Tennessee. And ZombieCleo. Any final words Cleo?

Cleo: Keep Adventuring.

[snowdice]

Big Bang (Sort of) Editing Story [Day 86]

I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag proofread stories. I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.

My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38

Going to do a bit of grading this afternoon.

Chapter 39 (Logan)

Logan was glad to see when Patton brought Virgil to meet him at the library that the boy seemed to be doing slightly better than he had been that morning. He still was clearly a bit jumpy and didn’t seem interested in his normal library bound activities, that being exploring the library and climbing on top of shelves/somehow getting into walls. Instead, he basically hid behind Logan, taking a seat half under his desk on the side facing away from the door.

Patton had to leave to go have a few meetings, leaving the two of them alone.

“Would you like a book?” Logan asked the boy hiding under his desk.

 “Sure,” he said softly, and Logan handed him one of the children’s books he’d been trying to read. He took it and set it in his lap.

“Tell me if you need anything,” Logan instructed, before turning back to his own book about reading Sanskrit.

Weight pressed against his leg a few minutes later and Logan idly reached down a hand to touch the top of Virgil’s head, stroking through his hair softly a few times. It was luckily warm at Logan’s desk despite being by the window. Being cold always made Virgil more distressed.

He glanced down after a bit of hair petting only to see Virgil not reading his book and instead looking up at him.

 “Everything alright?” Logan asked.

Virgil watched him for a long moment, his eyes focused and intent. “Why are you being nice to me?” he finally asked.

Logan looked at him, confused. “Why wouldn’t I be nice to you?” he asked. He did not get a response. He just got dark, intense eyes seeming to stare into his soul. “You haven’t done anything to make me want to be mean to you.”

“Yes, I have,” Virgil said simply.

“Well,” Logan conceded. “Nothing recently. You didn’t get particularly far with the… action that could have made me unhappy anyway.”

“I could have.”

“You didn’t.”

“Does it matter?”

 “I think it does,” Logan said. He’d paused the petting of Virgil’s hair when he’d spoken, but softly ran his hand through it again now. Virgil pulled away from him.

“I don’t,” he said.

“Well, seeing as it is my affection we are talking about, I imagine my opinion matters more,” Logan stated calmly. Something about that sentence appeared to have been the wrong thing to say because Virgil scowled at him.

“You’re stupid,” he said.

“There is significant evidence that contradicts that statement,” Logan said. “Case in point,” he gestured to the desktop, “I am currently reading a book about a dead language…”

 “Yeah, well there is significant evidence that supports that statement,” Virgil sassed back.

“Oh?” Logan asked, “and what would that be?”

He’d had a bit of a bite to his words before, but he seemed to deflate now. He looked down and mumbled something.

“What was that?” Logan asked. “I would appreciate knowing your evidence for your opinion.”

He stared at Logan’s knees instead of looking up at him, teeth clenched. “You should have killed me,” he said firmly.

Logan swallowed the sudden bile in his throat at the very thought. He was unsure if he was prepared for this conversation wherever it was going, and very much wished Virgil had decided to have this emotional incident when Patton was here as well. Or better yet when only Patton was here. “I disagree,” Logan said.

“Then you’re stupid,” Virgil said darkly.

 Logan looked down at him for a moment and then pushed his chair back, slowly as to not startle him too bad. Just as slow, he folded himself down to his knees. Virgil wouldn’t look at him, eyes resolute on his own knees. He was tense as a bowstring ready to snap. He didn’t move even as Logan settled in front of him.

“I am glad that you are here,” Logan said. “That you are not dead. If that makes me stupid, then so be it.”

Virgil did not respond. He didn’t even twitch or move his eyes to look at Logan.

58233

Logan sighed. “What is wrong?” he asked. “I know it’s been colder outside and that makes you increasingly anxious, but you are perfectly fine inside. You don’t need to worry here.”

He still did not respond.

“Virgil,” Logan called. “Look at me.”

For a moment he thought Virgil wouldn’t do so, but he twitched once and then slowly looked up at him.

Logan smiled at him softly. “It’s alright, Virgil.”

Virgil shook his head.

“Yes,” Logan said insistently. “I will make sure it’s alright.”

“You can’t promise that,” he finally said.

“I’m the prince,” Logan said with a half-smile. “I can promise whatever I like.”

 “Something will go wrong,” Virgil insisted.

“What will?”

“Something,” Virgil said.

Logan raised one eyebrow. “You are worried about something, and you cannot even articulate what the threat is?” he asked.

“Something will happen,” he snapped. “Something will happen or someone will figure something out or I’ll mess up or something.”

“I will make sure nothing goes wrong,” Logan promised. “Even if it does, I’ll make sure nothing happens to you.”

“And if it’s because I mess up?” Virgil asked.

“I’ll still make sure nothing bad happens,” Logan said.

Virgil scoffed. “What if what I mess up makes you mad?”

 “I don’t think you could do anything that would make me made mad enough not to want to help you.”

“I could,” he said darkly.

Logan paused. “You could,” he agreed. Logan was after all aware he was a trained assassin even though it was easy to forget, “but you also couldn’t.” He’d already proven that well enough to Logan.

Virgil stared at him. He did not deny it. “You don’t know me,” he said instead. “You don’t know that for sure.”

“I know plenty about you Virgil. Including that.”

He frowned and turned his face away to hide it in his knees.

58542

“Virgil,” Logan sighed after a few seconds. Virgil just went somehow even more tense than he’d been for this entire conversation, clenching his arms around his legs. Logan was silent for a couple of seconds hoping he’d calm down on his own a bit, but the opposite seemed to happen. His breath began to hitch after a few seconds and Logan noticed tears building in his eyes. Logan winced. He was not the right person for this, but he was the only one there. “It’s alright Virgil,” he said. “Can I help in any way?”

Virgil did not seem to hear him, caught up in his own head. His breath began to come faster by the moment, and Logan didn’t know how to calm him. What would Patton do?

Logan slowly reached out to put a hand in his hair much like he had earlier while seated at the desk. Logan quickly realized this was the wrong move as Virgil flinched back at being touched, head shooting up to look at him, or more accurately through him.

The next thing Logan knew there was a sharp sting on his cheek. It took a second for Logan to register what had just happened, but by the time he did, Virgil clearly had snapped back to himself and looked aghast.

“Virgil,” he said slowly, and that was clearly also the wrong thing to do because speaking startled Virgil out of his horrified daze, and he went scrambling out from under the desk. “Wait! Virgil!” he called, bumping his head against the top of the desk. It hurt much worse than the slap had a moment before had and the pain forced him to pause for a moment. By the time he managed to make it out from under the desk, Virgil was long gone.

  Chapter 40 (Thomas)

Thomas wasn’t sure what exactly he was supposed to do in this sort of situation. It had been three days since Logan had come to him in a panic saying that Virgil had ran off somewhere and he couldn’t find him. Apparently, the boy had been panicking and had accidentally slapped Logan before freaking out and running away. No one had seen him since, not for lack of trying. They had searched all over the castle and the grounds, but Virgil was nowhere to be found. Thomas just hoped he was still in the castle and hadn’t tried to go outside.

 It had been blizzarding for the past week on and off. It made Thomas and everyone else worry about the child.

Logan and Patton said he did not like the cold and had refused to go outside, so that was a point in favor of him still being in the castle somewhere. Normally, the fact that they couldn’t find him in three days despite having many people looking for him, would indicate he was not still here, but thinking back to the hide-and-seek debacle, it was entirely likely he’d just stuffed himself in some secret passageway somewhere.

At least, that is what Thomas assured Logan to comfort him.

 He sighed and got up from his desk where he’d been working on penning a letter to the Queen of Lamir to check in with her. The snow should be letting up in a couple of days long enough to get a letter out by means of carrier dove. He decided to take it to the dovecoat now and leave it with one of the handlers.

He left the room and wandered down the hallway, turning right instead of left like he normally would when he was going back to the royal wing. Instead, he took a path he didn’t often take that would lead to a staircase that let out at the door nearest the dovecoat.

 As he passed through a hall with a bunch of old portraits, he suddenly remembered something from when he was young and stopped by a picture of a woman hanging across from a small bench. There was a secret passage there that he’d found when he was only 12 and had only ever shown to one other person before. It was just a room with nothing much special about it other than the fact that it was hidden away. Usually, he’d just pass it by, but today he was thinking about Virgil lost (hopefully) somewhere in the castle who liked secret passages.

It wouldn’t hurt to check one of the few secret areas Thomas knew about for signs of life, would it?

 That in mind, he walked over to the painting and ran his hand along the side of it until he found a place he could push his fingers into. He pulled and the painting swung out to reveal a small door. He opened the door into a room a bit smaller than his own bedroom. Despite not having any heating elements since it was a secret room, it was still fairly warm since there were rooms around it that were heated.

Thomas reached over to fumble with the lights he’d sneakily installed when he was a child, and the space was suddenly filled with dim light.

 He closed the door behind himself and stepped into the room. He glanced around for anything out of place, though it had been a while since he’d been in here. He squinted at the very limited amount of furniture and had just walked across the room to look at an old chest when he heard a noise from somewhere in the room.

Thomas looked towards where the noise was coming from and was surprised to hear the sound of something sliding right before a head of dark hair popped up. Virgil lithely pulled himself out of the hole in the ground and shut it behind him.

 Thomas froze. Sure, he’d come in here specifically to look for signs of Virgil, but he had not been prepared for Virgil to suddenly crawl out of the floor. He hadn’t even realized there was a second entrance in this room.

Virgil didn’t notice him from Thomas’s spot on the other side of the room. Thomas wasn’t sure what to do. Virgil was always quick to startle, especially around Thomas. If he said something, surely the boy would disappear back down the tunnel he’d just left.

Virgil took a few all but silent steps towards the side of the room opposite from Thomas.

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Thomas was still trying to figure out what to do when Virgil suddenly stopped. He tilted his head to look up at the lights Thomas had turned on when entering the room. Then his eyes shot to Thomas.

“Uh,” Thomas said. “Hi.” Silence. “Please don’…”

Virgil turned tail and sprinted to the opposite side of the room, scaling an old bookshelf that tottered dangerously under his weight.

“… t run.”

He had the instinct to chase after him, worried that there was another entrance he’d dart through and be gone forever, but he stifled it. That would just terrify the poor thing even more.

 “Uh,” Thomas said, not entirely sure he wasn’t speaking to an empty room as he could not see Virgil anymore. “It’s okay.” He paused. “Logan’s not mad. No one is. Both him and Patton are very worried though. We’d all appreciate if you came out.” He paused again and only got silence in return.

Cautiously he took a couple of steps towards the other side of the room.

“Please?” he said.

When there was again no response, he took a couple more steps towards the bookshelf until he was standing directly in front of it. He just barely managed to catch a glint of the dim room lights reflecting off a pair of dark brown eyes.

He was not just talking to an empty room then.

 “Hey there,” he said softly. The eyes disappeared immediately, but now Thomas knew they were there. “Alright.” He wished he could get someone else for this conversation, but there was no way he could leave and come back to Virgil still there. Instead, he took a seat on the ground a couple of feet away from the bookshelf. He thought for a moment. “You know, I found this place myself,” he said. “I never knew that trap door was there though. You’re pretty good at finding tunnels.” He leaned back a bit, trying to catch a glimpse of the top of the bookshelf.

 “I used to keep some food here at one point, but I’m afraid even if I left anything it’d be a little bad at this point.” Thomas thought for a moment. “I hope you’ve eaten something recently. The kitchen is open for you whenever you want food, though I’m sure Patton’s mom would like to make you something special. She’s been worried. You know how she is when people miss meals. Everyone’s been worried.”

He let it hang in silence again, and to his surprise there was just a bit of shifting from the top of the bookshelf. “Why?” Virgil’s voice asked.

 “Well,” Thomas answered, “because a lot of people around here care about you.”

“I hit Logan,” he said, clearly assuming that Thomas didn’t know.

“I know,” Thomas said.

“He’s the prince,” Virgil pointed out.

“Maybe,” Thomas said, “but he’s also your friend. He cares about you more than he does about getting slapped once when you were clearly in distress. In fact, he was never mad at all about it. He was just worried about how you responded. It seems like you didn’t come here from the best place and we were a little worried we might not see you again if you got too startled.”

 “That doesn’t make sense,” Virgil said.

“It does to me,” Thomas said. “I wish it did to you.”

Silence once again greeted his words.

“Are you going to come down from there at some point?”

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

Thomas shrugged. “Well, I’m not going to be leaving until you do,” he said.

“So eventually the royal guards are just going to tear me down,” he concluded.

“Well, no one knows I’m here,” Thomas said. “I came on a whim. The only person I ever told about this place is already dead. I doubt they’ll find us.”

 “You’re the king,” Virgil said. “You shouldn’t be somewhere that people don’t know where you all. What if…?”

“Hmm?” Thomas prompted.

“What if an assassin attacks you or something?”

“I doubt an assassin is going to come find me in this little room no one knows about but us,” Thomas said with a smile.

There was a pause. “Your as bad as Logan with your safety,” he grumbled and Thomas just chuckled. Then, after a moment, Virgil said, “Are you really not mad that I hit your son.”

“No, Virgil,” Thomas said. “I know it was an accident. I understand.”

 He didn’t respond for a long moment, and Thomas was content to wait for him to think it through for however long he needed.

“Logan really isn’t mad?” Virgil asked.

“No,” Thomas promised. “He’s not.”

And then, blessedly, he heard movement from the top of the bookshelf. Virgil slowly climbed down, and Thomas didn’t dare stand up or really move at all other than breathing.

“Ready to come out of the tunnels now?” he asked after a few minutes of stalemate while Virgil watched him like he expected Thomas to leap forward and bite him.

He nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

“Okay,” said Thomas. “Good.”

  Chapter 41 Arc III: Bonding with the King (Virgil)

Virgil, despite deciding to believe the king when he said he said no one was angry with him, was still half surprised when he wasn’t immediately thrown into the dungeon. He didn’t even call the guards. Instead, he just calmly led Virgil down a set of stairs with a warm, not restraining, hand on his shoulder.

Virgil didn’t know what to think. He didn’t understand how he could not be in trouble for smacking the prince, but he was also cold, tired, and hungry from his days spent in the castle walls. He’d once been used to being all of those things, but now after only living in the castle for a little over a month, they stung a little harder.

 He’d memorized enough about the castle layout to know they were going in the direction of the kitchen. He also knew that it was midafternoon between lunch and supper being served. There weren’t many people in their path except for the guards and they didn’t even give him a second glance.

The king took Virgil through the same side entrance Patton and Logan often used instead of through the dining hall. Patton’s mom’s office door was closed and instead of going all the way to the kitchen, the king paused to knock on it.

“Helen,” the king called through the door. “Would you mind coming out here please?”

 “Just a moment,” was called back through the door and after just a few seconds the door was opening. Her eyes landed on him immediately looking seemingly relieved. “Virgil,” she said. “Goodness where have you been? Patton’s been worried sick.”

Virgil bit his lip, unsure what to say to that. He’d assumed Patton would be mad at him too when he learned he’d hit Logan, but then again, according to the king not even Logan was mad.

“Would you mind making something for him to eat?” the king asked.

Her eyes snapped to him. “Oh, yes, of course. Virgil, sweetie, what do you want?”

 Virgil just shrugged.

“Ham sandwich for now,” she said studying him, “and then I’ll make something more for dinner. Let me go grab your meal preference cards.” She stepped back into her office and grabbed a little box off of her desk full of the little cards she always sent with and new food she served Virgil, so he could rank them.

Virgil watched, confused. He never did quite understand Helen with her endless willingness to feed him and to get his opinion about what she fed him with. She always reminded him of Patton with how kind she often was, though she was a little stricter than Patton could ever have the heart to be.

 There was no sternness to her now, however. She was fussing over him as she led them to the kitchen and started warming water for tea before grabbing the ingredients needed for the promised ham sandwich.

She made him clean his hands of the dirt and dust they’d acquired from days crawling through secret passageways before handing him the sandwich. Thomas at one point stepped out of the kitchen for a few moments but was back quickly with a smile. Virgil smiled back at him hesitantly. He was still surprised he was in the kitchen drinking warm tea and eating a sandwich as the head chef personally fretted over him.

 The king also accepted a mug of tea and didn’t even watch over it closely despite Virgil sitting right there in poisoning distance. Instead of looking worried or angry when he noticed Virgil staring at him and his mug, he simply smiled softly and ask him if he needed more tea.

This man… was an idiot.

Virgil had thought that Logan wasn’t careful about his own personal safety, but apparently Logan had actually improved upon his family’s habit of being reckless. Virgil would have to complement him and provide him with more opportunities for growth if he was that willing to grow and adapt.

…If Logan didn’t hate him now.

 Thomas said he wasn’t mad, but he could be lying or wrong. Virgil had hit Logan. He knew he was never fond of people who hit him. Virgil hadn’t meant to do it, but he still had. Or even if he wasn’t actively mad, there was the possibility that he wouldn’t like Virgil anymore. That was almost worse because people who were mad might eventually calm down and forgive you, but if someone just decides emotionlessly they don’t like you anymore, that’s a lot harder to reverse.

Logan had always been nice to him despite being a prince who didn’t need to give him the time of day and despite knowing why Virgil had come here.

 Logan was his friend. He didn’t want to lose that.

He finished off the ham sandwich pretty quickly and Patton’s mom almost immediately set down a plate of cheese and crackers.

“Thank you,” Virgil said softly.

“Of course,” Ms. Heart said, and Virgil jumped a bit in surprise when a hand touched his head, but calmed down after just a moment. It wasn’t that different than Patton, though he wasn’t that used to adults touching him. At least not gently or at all in the castle. “I’m glad you’re okay.” The hand stayed in his hair for only a second longer before pulling away. “Hmm,” she said. “Have you been living in the walls perchance?”

 Virgil nodded at her.

“Ah,” she said, wiping off her hand on her apron. “Perhaps a bath would be in order after you finish eating.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied.

“More tea?”

He nodded again and she moved to take his mug over to the kettle. He turned to pop one of the crackers with cheese into his mouth and was still chewing when the nearest door suddenly sprung open.

He flinched, looking up to see Logan in the doorway, breathing like he’d run all the way from the other side of the castle. “Virgil,” he said sounding relieved. He’d crossed the room before Virgil had a chance to get anxious and was wrapping him up in a hug before he could do more than lightly flinch in surprise. “Thank goodness you’re okay. Where have you been?”

 “In the walls,” Virgil replied.

Logan rubbed a circle into his back. “I’m sorry,” he said.

Virgil jerked in surprise. “Why are you sorry.”

“I made you run away,” he said. “You were scared of me.”

“I hit you,” Virgil said confused.

“It was an accident. You were having a bad day and I touched you without permission. It was my fault.”

“I…” Virgil said, “but…”

“I’m not going to be angry when it was just an accident, Virgil,” Logan said.

Virgil didn’t know what to say. He tucked his head against Logan’s shoulder and sniffled a bit. “Sorry anyway,” he said.

“It’s okay,” Logan said. Virgil felt a kiss being pressed to his forehead. “Patton and I were really worried.”

 “Oh,” he said. Tears started to leak from his eyes as he sniffled more. Logan just held hugged him tighter. “Sorry,” he said again.

“Hush,” was the response. The hug continued for a long few moments before Logan pulled back. “You are very dirty,” he commented.

“You’re a bit dirty too,” Ms. Heart pointed out. Logan glanced down at his front. You could see an outline of Virgil’s body on his clothes.

“Ah,” he said. “It seems I am.” He seemed amused though, and honestly if he wasn’t going to be mad at Virgil for slapping him and then running away and hiding, he probably wasn’t going to be mad about that.

 The king and Patton’s mom also didn’t seem unhappy with him getting the prince messy when he glanced at them. Ms. Heart seemed amused and the king was just smiling.

Virgil felt himself calming down more than he had in days, assured that Logan didn’t hate him and tentatively trusting that neither of the adults planned to lash out at him anytime soon. Ms. Heart handed him his refilled mug of tea and pointed him back at the food. Virgil relaxed fully into his chair.

Until, of course, the door blasted back open, word having gotten to Patton who proceeded to strangle him with a hug and cry at him loudly, but that was okay too.

  Chapter 42 (Patton)

“Come on,” Patton said. “You’re already all dressed up.”

Virgil made a dissatisfied noise like a cat that had just been picked up from its spot on a heated blanket.

“We’ll barely be outside five minutes,” Patton said. “You won’t even notice the cold.”

“Will so,” Virgil argued back.

Virgil’s return to the castle proper had been very relieving. Everyone had been content to let him curl up on the floor near the fireplace and sleep for the past couple of weeks, but life did move on and Patton and Logan had talked. They had agreed that Virgil’s constant anxiety about the weather probably wasn’t good for him.

 They’d brought it up to Virgil gently and, while they’d had to dial it back on things like actually playing in the snow, the suggestion that they take the short trip from the castle proper to the horse stables was met with some interest. However, now that the time had come to make the trek, he seemed to be having doubts.

“Honestly,” Logan said. “I don’t think you’ll even feel the cold in that get up.”

They had, indeed covered the boy from head to toe. He currently looked a couple of inches taller and wider than he actually was bundled up with every piece of extra snow gear they could find.

 He looked adorable with only his eyes uncovered even if said eyes were glaring at them both. However, Patton was a little worried he’d overheat if they didn’t leave soon.

“I don’t like snow,” Virgil said.

“We know, Virgil,” Logan said. That was the problem. They were hoping that a little minimal exposure would help him calm down just a bit. “The path’s been cleared of snow and ice though and it isn’t that much of a walk. You’ll be fine and then we’ll be able to look at all of the horses.”

Virgil still looked unconvinced.

“Just half an hour, Virgil, please,” Logan said.

 “…Fine,” Virgil relented.

“Great,” said Patton, grabbing his coat sleeve and tugging him towards the door. Logan followed behind and Princess Marisol seeing they were going somewhere, got up and padded after them.

They made it all the way to the door nearest the stable. Patton could see when he opened it that the path they were to take was well cleared. Virgil still did not appear enthused. He glared at the outside like it had a knife.

Princess Marisol, for her part, saw Patton open the door, hissed, and abandoned them to strut off towards the kitchen.

“She knows what she’s talking about,” mumbled Virgil.

Patton sighed.

 “Come on Virgil, I promise it won’t be that bad.” Patton offered a gloved hand. “You can hold my hand the whole way.”

Virgil was still frowning up a storm that would rival the one that had caused the snow in the first place, but he did take Patton’s hand. Patton used his grip on his hand to pull him forward through the door. It was still very chilly, Patton thought as they walked outside. Patton had chosen a coat that was a bit lighter since they were only walking to the stable and the wind bit him through it. He really hoped Virgil’s outfit was warm enough to keep him from freaking out.

 Luckily, it did seem to be keeping him warm enough because, while he was tense, he still let Patton lead him forward.

They made it to the stable quicker than usual since all three of them were quickening their pace. Patton gave a sigh of relief when he entered the stable and the warmer air inside of it. The stable wasn’t as warm as the castle, but it was warm enough that most of the stable hands only worked in light coats most of the winter. At least, they did inside the stable.

The head stable hand had already been warned about their visit beforehand and was waiting for the three of them at the door.

 “Good morning,” she greeted them, and… Virgil was already hiding himself behind Patton’s back.

“Hi!” Patton said cheerfully. He stepped to the side, so Virgil was no longer hidden. Virgil glared, reaching out to grab the edge of Patton’s sleeve and tugging on it in discontent. “This is Loraine, Virgil,” Patton said, nodding at her. When he glanced her way, he became a lot more shy, looking down at her feet instead of at her face. “She takes care of the horses. Say hello.”

“…Hello,” Virgil said quietly.

“Hi,” she said. “I hear you wanted to see the horses.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

 “Well, we have plenty for you to meet and they’re mostly all inside because of the cold. Usually in the summer most want to spend a lot of time in the pasture. Let me show you around.”

Loraine showed them around the stable a bit even though Patton and Logan already knew where everything was. Virgil slowly got a little bit more comfortable, even asking a couple of questions unprompted. Surprisingly these weren’t many basic questions about horses like Patton had mostly expected. On the contrary, he seemed to know a good amount of horses already.

“Have you worked with horses before?” Loraine asked a bit into the tour after Virgil expressed interest in what they were feeding some of the older horses.

 “I used to help take care of horses sometimes when people came to visit the orphanage,” he said. “They’re nice.”

“Do you ride?” Loraine asked.

Virgil shook his head. “I just fed them and cleaned up after them,” he said.

“Well, maybe you can try to learn when it gets a bit warmer,” she offered. “It’s a lot of fun.”

He nodded. “That would be nice,” he said.

After that, she mostly let them wander around looking at different horses in the stalls. She them feed some of the ones who were gentler and didn’t have a specific diet.

 It was about 25 minutes into their adventure and while Virgil obviously liked the horses, Patton could already tell his anxiety was rising every time he took his glove off to feed a horse and it hit the chilly air. Patton glanced at Logan.

“Right,” Logan said. “We should probably be heading back inside, but I would like to stop by and see Mr. Apples before leaving. Otherwise, he will be cross with me.”

“Mr. Apples?” Virgil asked.

“He’s one of the horses,” Logan said, moving to where the different treats were kept for the horses.

“Why do you need to see him in particular?”

 Logan paused, his hand hovering briefly over the container of red apples before reaching in to grab one. “He was my Pa’s horse,” he said. “He likes when I visit him.”

“Logan’s the only one he likes visiting him,” Loraine added as she started to lead them towards where Mr. Apples’ stall was.

Patton had learned long ago that Mr. Apples could be a bit crabby. He wasn’t as mean to Patton as he was to some people, but he wasn’t exactly nice either. Patton tended to keep his distance whenever Logan went to visit.

Now, he stood on the other side of the hall from where Mr. Apples was as Logan stepped forward to greet him.

 Logan spoke to him softly for a bit and he nuzzled his face against Logan’s shoulder with a huff. Eventually, he offered a piece of apple which Mr. Apple happily took.

“Can I say hello to him?” Virgil asked.

Logan glanced back at him. “Sure,” he said, “though be careful. He doesn’t like… anyone besides me.”

Virgil nodded and stepped forward cautiously. “Hello,” Virgil said. Mr. Apples tilted his head to look at Virgil. There were a couple of seconds of silence and then Mr. Apple’s snorted softly. Virgil took that as permission to stretch out a hand.

“Wait,” Logan said. “He bites actually and…”

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Mr. Apples pressed his nose to Virgil’s hand softly and Virgil gently stroked it a couple of times.

“Huh,” said Loraine. “You’re officially the third person he’s ever liked, and you could say Prince Logan was cheating since he met him as a baby.”

“Really?” Virgil asked. “He seems nice enough.”

Loraine rolled her eyes. Patton noticed she was standing a good distance away from the stall herself. “Oh no,” she said. “Trust me. He’s a bastard to everyone else.”

Virgil just frowned and pet the horse’s nose again. Mr. Apples leaned forward to nibble at his hair a bit.

Logan smiled at him and handed him one of the apple pieces to feed Mr. Apples which Virgil offered to the horse on a flat hand. “Red apples are his favorite,” he told Virgil. “He refuses to eat green.”

Logan and Virgil finished feeding Mr. Apples his treat and then it was time for Virgil to face the cold once again to return to the castle. Patton hoped this positive experience from going outside would make him more open to it in the future.

  Chapter 43 (Logan)

Logan woke once again being strangled by an assassin. He sighed and attempted to squirm away. Virgil made an unhappy grumbling noise at the movement and squeezed him tighter. “I am just,” Logan said, shoving at the arm around him, “trying to get into a position where I can breathe.”

Unfortunately, there was no reasoning with an unconscious Virgil. Getting into an upright position was a battle and the boy was laying across his lap by the time he managed it, clutching one of Logan’s arms.

Logan huffed at his sleeping form, reaching over with his free arm to switch on his bedside lamp.

 Despite how warm the room was, Logan assumed the temperature outside was extremely cold today. Virgil seemed to have some internal thermostat that seemed to know how cold it was outside even while snug in Logan’s bedroom. The tighter the boy clung in his sleep, the colder Logan knew it must be. Logan looked down at Virgil’s face. He and Patton had wanted to convince Virgil to spend a bit of time outside today, but if it was as cold as Virgil’s behavior indicated, perhaps they should wait for another day.

Logan reached over for the book on his nightstand that he’d learned to keep here for this exact reason.

 His reading speed had actually increased since Virgil’s arrival at the castle which was impressive. He’d only gotten this book two days before and was worried he’d finish it before Virgil woke this morning.

Luckily, he was incorrect, and Virgil did begin to stir a bit earlier than he usually did. He glanced down from his book when he felt Virgil shift only to find his eyes were open and staring at Logan.

“Good morning,” Logan greeted. Virgil’s fingers squeezed Logan’s arms lightly much like one would expect the cat currently sleeping soundly on Virgil’s pillow to knead its chosen person.

 “Hi,” he said. “Book?”

“It’s a book about various trade agreements that happened in the last 500 years,” Logan said, knowing what he was asking.

“Interesting?” Virgil asked.

Logan smiled a bit. “You would likely not be particularly interested since you do not already have knowledge of the players nor the politics of trade agreements in general.”

“Oh, okay,” Virgil said with a yawn.

Logan felt fondness warm his chest. “I can read you a different book if you would like,” he offered.

Virgil eyed the book in Logan’s hand. “You’re almost done with that one,” he pointed out. “You can finish it first.”

 “You just want an excuse to continue to lay in bed,” Logan accused fondly.

Virgil did not even bother arguing, shifting a bit so he was laying with his head on his own pillow, but curling into Logan’s side. He was calm this morning which was honestly an odd thing. He was rarely truly calm while awake and even in sleep his face was sometimes pinched in tension. Logan and Patton’s plans for exposure therapy to cold weather seemed to help his resting anxiety level a bit, but it was still much higher than it was for normal people. Right now though, he seemed fully content.

 Logan was glad he could feel that comfortable near him, perhaps even comfortable because Logan was near. It was a striking contrast to how he’d been when he’d come here or even how he’d been when he’d accidently slapped Logan. He felt a surge of… something more than the standard sympathy one might feel for someone when he thought of Virgil’s fear and what had transpired to cause it. It was a bit like anger, but not quite. He could not quite put a name to it, but he did know it made him want to make sure nothing bad ever happened to him again. He would ensure nothing bad ever happened to him again no matter what it took.

 Logan read for a little while longer. Virgil was still and calm most of the time, but Logan was pretty sure he didn’t go back to sleep. He shifted to look up at Logan when he set the book on the nightstand.

“Would you like to go to the library with me this morning?” Logan asked. “I need a new book and perhaps we could get you something too for your reading lessons. I was thinking we could go to the main library.” He had never taken Virgil there yet as there did tend to be a few more people than the more secluded library Logan favored. Yet, he’d been getting marginally more comfortable in small crowds, and Logan thought he might like to see it.

“Sure,” Virgil agreed easily. “After breakfast though?”

“Of course,” Logan agreed. “We don’t want Ms. Heart to get on us about your eating schedule once more.”

Virgil nodded in agreement and climbed out of bed to get dressed. They had a short meal at the dinning hall. Virgil was still adamant that Logan did not eat any of the muffins set out on the table, and with Patton still reportedly in bed, Logan did not have nearly enough social prowess on his side to argue with him this morning. Instead, they only ate things straight from the kitchen. Virgil still got a card with his meal Logan had to fill out for him at the end. As always, he ranked everything on the plate a ‘5/5.’

 The library wasn’t too far from the main dining hall. It was in the opposite direction of the way they would go if they were going back to the royal wing past the ballroom and through the entryway. In the summer, they would have gone through the courtyard. In fact, if it had been just Logan, he would have ran across the open area quickly despite not having a coat, but with Virgil in tow, he chose to walk all the way around. Though honestly, since it was Virgil’s first time entering the library, it would be more impressive entering it from its main entrance than from the side one that castle residents in a hurry would use.

 He looked over at Virgil as he pushed open the library doors to see his reaction. His eyes widened a bit as he saw the huge room with the many shelves.

“It’s impressive, isn’t it?” Logan asked with a smile.

“You have two stories of books?” Virgil asked, looking at the spiral staircase that led to the second floor, awed. “I didn’t even… This is more books than I’ve ever seen in my life in one room.

“And these are just the things available to the general public. There are also record rooms only used by certain people and rooms with restricted book access based on skill, like some magic books.”

 “That’s a lot…” Virgil said. What was maybe insecurity flashed through his eyes.

“It’s an overwhelming amount of knowledge, but different people can find what they need,” Logan said, pulling him out of the doorway and towards where they keep the children’s books. “Here, let’s go to books you can try to read yourself and then we’ll find some books you would be interested in that I can read to you.” They stopped at a shelf. “These would be perhaps just a bit beyond your current reading level, but they would be a good challenge, I believe. Pick whichever you like.”

 Virgil took a moment to stare at the pictures on the book. He squinted at the titles for a bit longer and asked Logan what a few said before choosing a few from the shelf. Two of them were about different crops and one was about a family of foxes.

“Are those three enough?” Logan asked.

“Yeah, I think so,” Virgil replied.

“Do you want to explore the library a bit or just get a book for me to read you and leave?” Logan asked, not wanting to overwhelm him.

“I’d like to look around a bit,” Virgil replied.

“Okay.”

 Logan had frequented the main library when he’d been younger. Though he often spent his time now in the smaller library that had been tailored to his specific interests, he still came to the main library fairly frequently. He knew many good places to sit with a book. There were nice window seats that looked out into the courtyard and a corner near a small fireplace. Logan showed him the door that led to the courtyard and where the door to the more restricted books were, though they didn’t go into any of them right now.

Virgil seemed to like the library well enough, following Logan around willingly. Logan did have to pull him away from a few places when he looked a bit too intently at some high, but sturdy bookshelves. And the chandelier.

 He did look like he was constantly straddling the line between being in awe of and being overwhelmed by the size of the library, so Logan decided to end the tour after a bit and work on picking out a book.

“What type of book would you like to read?” Logan asked.

Virgil shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said. “Whatever you think is best is fine. I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“But I’ve chosen every book I’ve read to you so far,” Logan said with a frown. “We should get something tailored to your interests.”

“I don’t have interests, Logan,” Virgil said with an eyeroll.

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“You have some interests,” Logan said.

Virgil raised an eyebrow.

“You like climbing,” Logan said, “and… horses. You and Mr. Deknis seem to get along.”

“Are there books about climbing?” Virgil asked.

“There are books about everything,” Logan claimed.

“Bullshit.”

Logan narrowed his eyes. “Careful with that language. Just because Patton isn’t here doesn’t mean you get to be crude.”

Virgil rolled his eyes.

“I will tattle.”

“Fuck,” said Virgil.

Logan shook his head in exasperation but couldn’t help but smile a bit. There was something about Virgil when he felt comfortable enough to be slightly unruly that made Logan happy. It felt like a glimpse of the actual Virgil beneath his usual caution towards the world.

 “How about we ask the librarian if there are any books on climbing,” Logan suggested. “Dr. Macey knows where all of the books would be. I can introduce you to them.”

Virgil didn’t look particularly pleased about meeting a new person, but he also didn’t seem overly distressed by the thought, so Logan tugged him along to the librarian’s small office where Logan had seen them disappear a few minutes ago. He knocked on the door.

It swung open a few seconds later and Dr. Macey’s head poked out. “Good morning, Prince Logan,” they said. They glanced at Virgil, “and, Virgil, I would assume.”

 “I’ve mentioned you,” Logan said because he saw Virgil immediately start to freak out about a random person knowing his name. Though, honestly, he was sure Dr. Macey had heard about him from other sources as well. He turned back to the librarian. “I was wondering if you could help Virgil pick out a book. He hasn’t gotten many chances to read in his life and isn’t sure what type of thing he’d like. Also, if it could somehow involve climbing to prove a point, that would be appreciated.”

“Climbing, eh?” Dr. Macey asked, thinking for a couple of seconds. “I think I can probably find something.”

 Dr. Macey spent a bit of time looking through the shelves. They made small talk with Virgil, and while Virgil seemed a bit guarded (likely because Dr. Macey was asking questions about him trying to figure out more about what type of book he liked), he seemed fairly calm. Logan was pleased to think he liked the library. Maybe when he was a bit better at reading and he’d adjusted more to the size of the room and the concept that other castle residents could come around, he’d want to spend some time down here.

Eventually, Dr. Macey picked out three options and let Virgil choose which one he wanted.

65705

There was a fantasy book, an adventure story, and a mystery story.

“All of these have to do with climbing?” Virgil asked skeptically.

“There’s at least one good long climb in each,” Dr. Macey promised with a smile.

Virgil studied the books for a long moment. Eventually, he pointed to one that had the title, “Into the Mist,” which was the fantasy book.

“Good choice,” Dr. Macey said. Logan was certain they would have said that regardless of which Virgil chose, but Virgil still lit up slightly at the praise. The librarian handed the book to Virgil and set the other two aside to reshelve later.

“Thank you, Dr. Macey,” Logan said.

“If you need anything else, let me know,” they said.

“I think that’s it for today,” Logan said. “Let’s go back upstairs Virgil.”

Virgil nodded, clutching his chosen book, and they left the library.

  Chapter 44 (Thomas)

Loraine had called Thomas down to the stables to talk about a concern that had cropped up about their grain stores. They’d found mold in one of the grain bins which had, of course, soiled everything stored there. Luckily it ended up being one of the smaller grain bins, but it still provided some concern for getting through the winter. As it was, they would be able to make it through, but a lot less comfortably.

Thomas mostly trusted the three who ran the animal husbandry on the castle’s lands to deal with it, but he still provided his opinion when asked.

 The meeting had taken a few hours. When he’d come down, the sun had been shining. It had been still cold, but not as freezing the last few days, though he was under no illusion that winter was anywhere near over. A point which was emphasized when he stepped out of Loraine’s office and glanced out of a window only to see what appeared to be a blizzard happening outside.

Great. He wasn’t exactly enthused about walking back to the castle in that. Wanting to delay it as long as possible, he turned away from the window and walked towards the other end of the stable.

 He grabbed an apple along the way, intending to feed it to Mr. Apples while convincing himself to make the jaunt back up to the castle. To his surprise, Mr. Apple’s head didn’t pop into the hall upon hearing someone enter his domain (aka the hall outside of his stall). This was odd as Mr. Apples was a territorial bastard who was always sure to be prepared to confront anyone who came within range or eat an apple if the person invading his space happened to be one of the few he wouldn’t attempt to bite on sight. Yet, no white nose popped into sight.

 When Thomas approached the stall, he figured out why. There was someone in the stall, but unlike most instances of someone being in a stall with Mr. Apples, the person was not being bitten, spit at, or anything else. Instead, Mr. Apples was standing there calm as day as Virgil ran a brush over his flank.

Thomas stared at them for a moment. He found himself wondering if Mr. Apples had died and someone had replaced him with another white horse so the royal family didn’t get upset like one might replace a child’s dead goldfish if it dies while they’re away.

 However, then, Mr. Apples realized he was there. The disdain in his expression upon catching sight of Thomas told him this was no imposter. He apparently by some miracle had just found another person he liked. Which… did pose an issue for Thomas.

Virgil had calmed down around his presence a bit ever since Thomas had found him hiding in the castle, but Thomas wasn’t sure how he would feel about being confronted by Thomas’s presence without warning. In the past, he’d been rather jumpy. If Thomas startled a person Mr. Apples liked in front of Mr. Apples, the tentative peace between Thomas and the horse would surely be over.

 He debated simply walking away like Mr. Apples’ expression was insisting, but before he could, Virgil glanced up at him. Thankfully, he didn’t jump. He looked at Thomas for a second, seeming a bit unsure. They hadn’t been alone since he’d stopped being completely terrified of Thomas’s existence after all, but eventually settled on saying, “Uh, hello your majesty.”

“Hello Virgil,” Thomas replied with a small smile. “You can just call me Thomas if you’d like.”

Virgil didn’t seem to know what to say to that, so Thomas dropped it for now.

“Mr. Apples seems to like you,” he said.

 “He’s a good horse,” Virgil said, patting Mr. Apples’ side. Mr. Apples sent Thomas a smug look. Well, this… was a very familiar conversation.

Having learned long ago not to bother arguing his case, Thomas just said, “He doesn’t like many people.”

“Logan said that,” Virgil said.

“Where is Logan?” Thomas asked, curious. Usually, Virgil wasn’t too far from him or Patton, but Thomas hadn’t seen a sign of them in the stable.

“He’s studying in his library,” Virgil said, “but I wanted to come to the stable since the weather was slightly nicer.”

“And Patton?”

“He had a meeting with your advisor.”

 “Makes sense,” Thomas said. He was glad Virgil was apparently comfortable enough now to go places without one of the other boys. He reluctantly supposed he had Mr. Apples to thank for that. “I brought him and apple. Would you like to feed it to him?”

“Sure,” Virgil said.

Thomas smiled and handed over one of the apple slices over the stall gate to Virgil who fed it to Mr. Apples. Once the horse was finished with that slice, Thomas handed him another.

“Don’t you want to feed it some to him?” Virgil asked.

“He’ll enjoy it much more from you,” Thomas replied.

 Virgil frowned, but Mr. Apples threw his head in agreement. Virgil ended up feeding the rest of the apple to the horse.

“Would you like to walk back to the castle with me?” Thomas asked once the horse was busy chowing down on his last slice.

“Sure,” Virgil replied. Thomas smiled at him and helped him put away the brush and other supplies he’d been using on Mr. Apples.

Everything went smoothly until he and Virgil moved to leave the stable. The second that Virgil’s eyes saw the weather conditions outside he paused. Thomas did have to admit that he also wasn’t a fan of what was going on outside. The castle was only a dark blob in the distance when the snow was falling that fast.

 Yet, there was something different about Virgil’s expression. It didn’t just seem like reluctance to get cold and wet. Thomas had unfortunately seen Virgil terrified a few times before and it was definitely fear flashing in his eyes right now.

“Are you alright?” Thomas asked softly. Virgil jumped at his voice, but for once Thomas didn’t think he had himself to blame for that.

“I…” Virgil hesitated. “I’m just going to stay here for a while.”

Thomas looked at him and then at the snow outside. “You don’t like the snow, I assume?”

Virgil curled one arm around his waist, gripping the opposite wrist. He shrugged one shoulder. “Bad experience.”

 “Oh,” Thomas said, “I see.” The child was looking away from Thomas as well as from the snow outside. His eyes were fixed on a bale of hay. “I guess we’ll just stay out here for a bit.”

Virgil’s eyes shot back to him. “You don’t have to stay,” he said. “It’s fine.”

Thomas shrugged. “I didn’t really want to go out in that anyway.”

Virgil bit his lip. “You’re king,” he said. “You have important things to do. You don’t need to sit out in a horse stable with me because of my issues.”

“You’ll be amazed how much time I’ve spent sitting in a horse stable in my life, king or not,” Thomas said with a rueful smile.

 Virgil still seemed unsure. “You don’t have to,” he said. There was no way Thomas was going to leave a child who was afraid of snowstorms for whatever reason alone in a horse stable even if he wouldn’t technically be alone with all of the workers.

“It’s fine,” said Thomas. “I’m sure the stable hands would be willing to share some of the tea in their breakroom with us. We’ll wait for a bit and then see if the storm decides to let up later.”

“If you’re sure,” Virgil said.

“I am,” Thomas said with a smile before leading him towards the staff breakroom and away from the sight of the snow falling outside.

  Chapter 45 (Virgil)

The king took him a little room in the center of the stables. There were two people sitting in the room when they entered. They looked up at their entrance, but didn’t spare them a second glance, going back to playing a game with cards. This both made sense because the king should be able to go wherever he wanted without question and didn’t make sense because Virgil had assumed most people working for the castle would jump into asking if the king needed anything when he entered a room.

Instead, the king walked over to a small counter at the side of the room.

 If Virgil did not know that he was the king, he probably wouldn’t have been able to tell. He’d dressed to be in a horse stable today. There was no crown or any jewelry really in sight except for a necklace. His clothing was perhaps of better quality than most who worked in a stable would wear every day, but not by a large margin. He could have just been a stable manager or something if Virgil did not know better.

He glanced back at Virgil once he’d grabbed a few clean cups. “What would you like to drink?” he asked.

 “I don’t care,” Virgil said.

“Have you tried hot apple cider before?” the king asked.

Virgil shook his head.

“Well, it looks like they have some cider being kept warm here,” he said touching a small barrel that was sitting on the counter. There was a slight glow to the barrel that Virgil recognized as a heating enchantment.

“Sure,” Virgil said. “I like apples.”

The king smiled and turned to pour out a glass of the drink through a spigot on the side of the barrel. He offered it to Virgil. The king was serving Virgil a drink. That was… really weird. He was a weird king.

 He took the cup. It was warm from the drink and Virgil felt some of the tension that had been in his shoulders since he’d seen the amount of snow outside release as his fingers warmed up.

“It has more spices than things like apple juice,” the king said. “Mostly cinnamon, but also things like cloves, ginger, and nutmeg.”

Virgil didn’t really know what any of those things tasted like off of the top of his head other than cinnamon and, of course, apples. He took a cautious sip anyway.

“Like it?” the king asked, a smile growing on his face quickly in response to whatever face Virgil was making.

 Virgil nodded vigorously.

“Good,” the king said with a chuckle. He turned to get another glass of the apple cider for himself. “Let’s sit,” he said motioning with his head to a couch. It was the only free seating available other than one extra chair at the table where the two stable hands were playing cards.

Virgil did as he said, walking over to the couch and taking a seat. It was an old, but comfortable couch. Most of the things in this room seemed pretty old, though all in good condition. It made sense that they wouldn’t want to have a bunch of new furniture when people were just using it to take a break between cleaning horse stalls.

 It was a nice little room all the same and warmer than the rest of the building. The two stable hands had slung their light coats over the backs of their chairs and the king also took his off before sitting. Virgil kept his on.

There were a few hooks where it looked like the workers kept their heavier winter coats for when they left the stable as well as some bags and a couple of paintings.

“That one looks like Mr. Apples,” Virgil pointed out.

The king glanced at the painting. “It is Mr. Apples actually,” he told Virgil.

 “He was absolutely impossible to keep still for it. He went back in forth from trying to bite the artist to trying to show off for his owner. I’m pretty sure the artist made his eyes red if you look close enough just to express his displeasure somehow.”

“Logan?” Virgil asked.

“Oh, no,” said the king. “That was when my husband was alive.”

Virgil immediately internally cringed. Externally he said a quick “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” said the king. “He’s not a taboo topic to me.”

 Virgil searched his face, but he really didn’t seem mad. There was maybe a bit of sadness around his expression, but he wasn’t angry.

“Logan always seems upset when he mentions him.”

“He’s mentioned him to you?” the king asked, sounding surprised.

“A few times,” Virgil said. “He said the headpiece was his favorite and, when he realized I didn’t like the snow, he tried to convince me it wasn’t all bad by telling me how they used to play in the snow when he was little.

“Logan doesn’t usually talk about him much,” the king said. “He was just a child when he died. It hit him very hard.”

 Virgil had noticed that himself.

“It’s good he’s talking about him at least a bit.” The king mused, taking a sip of his drink. “He was the son of a stable hand here.”

“You married a stable hand’s son?” Virgil asked and something about his tone made the king laugh.

“I did,” he confirmed. “We met when we were teenagers about your age. His father had come to work at the castle, and they lived in one of the houses out back. There weren’t many kids in the castle at the time and we both liked the gardens and the orchard, so we ended up friends.”

[bookwyrminspiration]

heyyyyy do you mind talking about Maruca? we see so little about her and I just. I wanna know more. If you'd like something more specific to talk about maybe how it's implied she has a lot of character development in going from kinda a bad person (w the Stina thing) to someone very brave and determined or how she's in the right hemisphere

tumblr please let me answer this. tumblr I am begging. I am on my knees. please. I don't know what is up with my askbox but asks keep disappearing from the desktop version and the number displayed is always wrong. But! I can now answer this one, and I would absolutely love to talk about Maruca! and thank you for the specificity, it's not required but it is useful!

Based on how she behaved in book 1 vs now, she's seems to have matured a lot in terms of taking things seriously and respecting others. My reasoning being that in book 1 (or 2? somewhere near the beginning) someone mentions that the reason Maruca and Biana fell out was because Maruca shared a bunch of her secrets (with Stina, I think) to get back at her for becoming friends with Sophie. So she was vengeful and petty and didn't respect other's trust or privacy. When she was upset, she was entirely willing and would go out of her way to violate people's privacy--people she'd apparently been friends with! Definitely not a great character trait, but I don't think she'd do something like that anymore. She might get defensive when it's brought up, but I do think she has genuinely realized how shitty it was of her even if she never directly says it.

It may be in part because she's older now, and the first time we meet her she's 12-ish and 12 year olds are still figuring themselves out (well, everybody is, but 12 happens to be during a big transition and makes figuring yourself out more of an immediate concern). But it likely primarily boils down to Wylie's kidnapping. She very suddenly and very seriously was made incredibly aware that there are much bigger things going on than the petty drama she was creating, and that they are to be taken seriously and are legitimate dangers. Up until Wylie was kidnapped, all the weird things happening to Sophie and her group were their deal, and they were strange and annoying and she didn't like them. And then it affected her family directly, and she realized she wasn't safe from it and that the people she cares about aren't safe from it, and that sobered her up quite quickly.

Wylie's kidnapping was a wake up call, and all of the sudden she was on the wrong side of everything and the places she wanted to be involved Sophie and her friend group. Additionally, they were suddenly the only friend group that would understand. No one else at their school has had involvement with the Neverseen or been targeted, so no one is going to understand her changed mental state or her fears, her need to know whats going on or her desire to get involved. All of that revolves around Sophie. She's the center of everything. Despite her past dislike of Sophie, everything was put into perspective for Maruca and she needed to rapidly mature (with a dash of trauma) in order to continue moving forward and reach her new goals.

But this is something we, the readers, don't see! Sophie can point out the difference in her snobby behavior vs her determined but uncertain demeanor when she asks to join the Black Swan, but she wasn't close enough to her to watch the actual shift. She doesn't know how it really affected her, or what she thinks of all. All she knows now is that Maruca is a part of her group and is in on things, though they may not be friends.

Maruca does still have a ways to go, new as she is to all of this. Everyone kind of jumped at the "Maruca's a psionipath this is a game/war changer!" thing and she was incorporated and added to missions without considering that she is a complete rookie. I mean, it was her actions that made everything so much easier for Lady Gisela in Legacy. Maruca acted hastily and it cost them, so her having an important ability doesn't make her an asset. She'll have to work to become one outside of what she can do. Her mindset has changed and that's the first step, now she needs to follow through to become the important player in the field she has the potential to be.

given how she's been introduced to the group, I'm assuming we're going to see a lot more of her in the last two books! So there will probably be a lot more to look at with her then. But until that happens, we can look at the off page development to try and piece her together, so thank you for the opportunity to do so!

[theworld-accordingtocasey]

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Now that I’m on desktop it’s come to my attention how extreme the degree to which mental illness has had me hiding, lurking, ducking, diving, “later”-ing and otherwise avoiding reblogging or sharing my thoughts . I have made sporadic appearances but then go back into hiding by way of either drafting what I thought I wanted to post but didn’t want to be seen avoiding socializing or using a side blog to rb those things where I could do it w/o the pressure to add commentary in the tags or even have anyone know I’m online to begin with. I do use that blog mostly w/ a theme pep it’s not just a post dump acct but the point here is that apparently I’ve got 794 drafts 😅 so I’ll probably be queueing those up shortly lol

umm…so since apparently December 2020 (😳😨) I’ve been on-again off-again Tumblring selectively a lot of “late” shit or outdated “news” may show up typed in a way as if it was just brought to my attn or is fresh info; well, it was at the time and that was my reaction, at the time, so no I’m not necessarily harping on a thing from over a year ago unless a fucking Kris pic shows up in which case pls message me to tell me. I went thru and tried to delete any of them out of my drafts but I may have missed it unintentionally