#i blocked them bc it made me so mad lmfao

[keroinnie]

thinking about that nswer on twt i saw the other day who posted "can we now officially say that expergo is their worst album" like i am still trying to kill them with my mind

[dear-space-cadet]

ok. plz don't get mad at me bc i don't want to be a hater but just want to have a conversation about something i've noticed

i personally feel like franz's lyrics have taken a nosedive since rtrwra. i know they have never been fantastic lyricists (alex writing 'come on lexxo, what you got next-o' at age 36 still makes me giggle) but while i think the human fear is a good album sonically (i enjoyed it!), the lyrics on nearly every song made me roll my eyes a little bit. i feel like a lot of the album sounds like alex jotted down some filler lyrics to block out what would happen in the song and then never updated them. it's just cringe. and maybe this is me speaking as a rap-head where the lyrics impact the whole vibe of the song, but like i cannot listen to an album full of

and

and

and be like "waow, such art." note that i'm not even cherry-picking -- the whole album is full to the brim with half-baked lyrics. it feels like alex is trying to pound symbolism into our heads like he thinks we're stupid. for comparison, franz 1.0 had lyrics like

and

and

and

again -- not terribly poetic and not the best lyrics you've ever heard, but notably better than the 2.1.0 stuff, which genuinely feels like alex thinks we're stupid. like imo it's almost insulting to listen to. even always ascending wasn't this bad, though it had some lyrical misses (paper cages, huck and jim, lois lane). i think glimpse of love is a well-written song for example and always ascending itself uses symbolism in interesting ways. i just feel like nothing on the human fear actually tells a story of any sort and it feels so heavy-handed it's almost insulting to the listener lmfao

and like, we KNOW alex can write! look at love and destroy, look at stand on the horizon, etc. we've seen julian write too as miaoux miaoux! bob is a good storyteller and did the universe expanded (we know this bc he confirmed the dog referenced is his ex's dog alvy, lol)! it's hard to find individual writing credits outside of rtrwra, but we used to have interviews that proved it wasn't all just alex

so part of me is asking how much of franz's lyrics really were a nick mccarthy production -- or at least a box codax production. i know alex said nick had "fuck all to do" with writing songs, but i also feel like we can't trust his word at this point. i also feel like alex wants to downplay nick as an artist, make him look stupid (he's been doing this since the beginning) and make it seem like all of franz 1.0 was an alex kapranos production. i think that's why alex had a falling out with sparks too... which is just embarrassing for him bc how tf are you gonna make an enemy out of SPARKS.

anyway. i've been meaning to bring this up bc it's been bugging me

[konigsblog]

That mlmxreader blog also keeps claiming that you're sending your followers to go attack them and send death threats. They do a lot of arguing that your dark fic is not real dark fic and that you're purposely trying to trigger and retraumatise them - is what I gathered looking at a couple posts...

I think that for one, there are definitely writers who do romanticise some topics unhealthily with things such as rape/assault/torture, but I don't think you're one of those people? Like you frequently tag and keep stating that what you're writing is fiction, it's fantasy.

On that note, they keep trying to argue that CNC is the more "moral" kink to be writing vs. rape. I honestly think that rape fantasy is something people do fantasize about and can sometimes just not be CNC (bc they keep trying to pin it back to that kink). It's the fact that there's no established relationship and discussion like in most BDSM pairings where they talk about rape play. At the end of the day, you tag your works properly. I don't see much issue with writing what you want when you make sure to tag (which you do!) and are aware the subject you're writing about and its usual connotations (which you're also aware!). People can be mad and uncomfortable, but at the end of the day it's them who chose to keep talking about it. I think people need to get used to being uncomfortable on the internet. This is not a new concept and nobody here is a "hero" for anything.

Sorry I just paraphased some posts and asks with some of my own thoughts on it!

i mean, my content is supposed to be dark, it's dark content for a reason, and i'm not describing these characters to be standard; i'm writing them manipulative, vindictive, depraved, ect. i do appreciate you, anon, as you weren't rude, and instead polite. i appreciate it, my dear! 💗

i don't really care about this whole thing, but something i have never said was to send death threats. now, we don't know if they're lying – they could be – but, if they aren't, stop. i didn't tell anyone to send death threats, because i don't condone that. aside from death threats and mocking someone's trauma, i seriously don't care what you want to do. whether you don't block them, block them, whatever, they've made multiple posts directly insulting me in weird ass ways, so i couldn't really care about their immature opinion.

i'd like to point out something they said though, kinda funny, considering they've mentioned me multiple times outside of their callout post. they said they made ONE post about me with examples, that would be their callout post. but, they're not counting how they're talking about me in response to anons, or how they're mentioning me in their hashtags. it's childish. yes, you 100% have the right to not enjoy a certain kink/coping mechanism (because funnily enough, people use different ways to copes) but it's immature to name people, talk about how what i'm doing is "disgusting" or how i'm a "vile cretin" (like what lmfao 😭)

here's some screenshots of what i'm talking about when i say they've even insulted me, or made comments. this is 4/11 screenshots.

and comparing my supporters to an iof soldier... 😬 wtf is wrong with you? that's disgusting.

now, if anyone sends this to @mlmxreader, go ahead and let them know that they're not the centre of the world, them multiple posts taking about me and insulting me is immature on their end.

[yuri-cocaine]

trucking along on msq

-bakool ja ja i owe you an apology. i wasn't familiar with your game.

-i ran into some fuckass weirdo who held up the whole run of skydeep cenote to complain about how much they hate msq. holy shit ive never seen anyone do this even for arr and sb. i tried vote kicking but it didnt work :/ block v'runja raqu on balmung to save yourself a big headache

-every zone is gorjus but my fav zone so far is urqopacha, fav zone music is kozama'uka, and fav towns are in yak tel. theres something really cozy about hroth town and mamook is a beautiful stonework city in a blue magical forest. mamook reminds me of lost city of amdapor but Blue. ive headcanoned yuma's hometown of camoa village to be something similar so maybe i can gpose in mamook instead of queueing into amdapor

-zoraal ja is my failhusband. all he does is scowl and want everyone to die in a big war. talking to everyone in the landsguard hq is kinda funny bc they're all like uhhhhh when's commander zoraal ja coming back. is he even coming back or...???

-awwww im glad wuk lamat made koana co-dawnservant ;w; now they can build infrastructure

-gulool ja ja's "oh right" when he tried looked at his brother's head and stopped casting his big fireball is rly sad now bc his brother isn't asleep, he's dead :( imagine living with your brother's dead head grafted onto your body for three years. what if it....starts to smell bad......

-as much as i like wuk lamat, i really didnt enjoy the feats so im really excited to travel xak tural with erenville. shaaloani's desert landscape is also gorjus with the graphics update bc before all that sand would just be a badly textured lump (sagolii desert...)

-the fact that ppl in shaaloani have american accents is taking me out LMFAO

-my theory for why erenville has such a strong icelandic accent is bc in addition to taking an eastern viera name, he also copied the eastern viera accent. as for why vieras living in othard have icelandic accents, uh...other than it being a carry over from ff12, maybe viera language is just. icelandic. but in dalmasca.

-ive always thought sharlayan is the scandinavia of etheirys but they're also greek-ish so who even knows at this point.

-in elpis, there's a sidequest where an ancient has a yellowish cactuar called notos 626 and he couldn't think of a suitable name for it. in urqopacha, the same kind of cactuar is all over the place and they're called notocactuar!!! so in the end, i guess he never named it :0

-why are the nopalitenders so fucked up.......estinien likes eating them tho

-i bet my cowboy boots that the sheriff in town is corrupt and it's up to a rootin' tootin' by god be shootin' young upstart to challenge him and restore peace to the wild west

-and by that, i mean the wol. wol will restore peace. i love that erenville just does not fight at all, so when those mad max from shein lookin ass bandits threatened to hang erenville up by the ears i got so protective of him LMFAO eat the full force of my level 100 burst bitch

-im not fucking bakool ja ja

[ashsostrange]

ian reading allat 🧘‍♀️ craziest most immature shit i’ve been involved in.

lemme clear the air one last time though, cuz this is getting annoying as hell.

lash and marie are the ones who provided us with all the other info regarding what maye’s done/said. the only thing i initially knew about was the way maye was talking to dalia bc i was there for it. maye’s friend, marie, was the one who said maye claimed to be part japanese... and told us that her grandma is thai or whatever. then she heavily implied that maye was lying. anyway, if your friend of like three yrs is telling me you’re a liar (n ur already in hot water) then why wouldn’t i believe it? marie told us about the malala stuff and the curry rice joke. she told us that maye is avoidant when it comes to discussing what she did wrong. lash told us about the 9/11 jokes, she even sent screenshots. that’s where talia got them from. i literally said it was weird that maye said she’s “racist on occasion” and they were shitting on her like everyone else was, bc the way she was acting was mad weird.

how are you gna tell us your friend is problematic then turn around and tell her we were talking about her and the things she’s done..? the things… you told us???! they coulda kept quiet but they didn’t for some reason, so receipts are due:

either your “friends” were playing in your mf face or y’all are on some next level fake shit 😭

mind you, if you scroll down on my page, you’ll see that one of these weird ass hoes sent me a link thru anon so they could grab my ip.. like oh, okay! so you’re racist and insane!!!! and i know it was them bc they’ve talked about doing stuff like this to people they’ve had issues with. ion got issues with nobody else on this app except rashad, nd he hasn’t even been bothering me sooo. like i said, i was gna keep this offline but the ip shit really got me.. that’s real fkn weird 😭

i’m sorry it’s so difficult for y’all to accept, but you created this mess on your own, the five of you. i’m not messy for nothing… like ever. and neither are my friends. i alr said i wasn’t gna make them choose between me and maye, cuz i’m not even that close w any of them for it to ever get to that point. i’ve made it perfectly clear that i don’t associate with people who act a certain way, and people that associate with such. not to mention, i blocked all these hoes, but i keep receiving screenshots of these mfs yappin in their ig notes ab me and the situation like we’re in middle school 😭 you say you hate drama but you are the drama baby. plsss grow up! this is mad childish.

never expected marie or anyone else to drop maye for me, i literally don’t care 🤷‍♀️ not my problem, like i said, would’ve j dropped her too. but again, i realllyyyyy don’t understand how you rat out your friend and act like you didn’t… be safe out here y’all LMFAO

i stand on everything i’ve said 🤷‍♀️ like i stated last night before maye even said anything, yes, i was talking shit! and i don’t care! i have no reason to be nice to these people. not one.

i’m not writing another long ass post about this, i’ve explained everything that needed to be explained. i don’t want my blog crowded w drama. if i need to add anything i’ll tell talia to do so on my behalf.

tumblr drama is so silly n i didn’t do nun wrong lol. y’all are your own worst enemies. moral of the story, don’t be racist! 💋

[pondscummy]

the "also sick" comment isn't like "btw I'm SICK, how dare you not know" it's me saying I'm sick like how 2/3 of my roommates are

but like I'm so;;;; it feels so rich that L is like wtf do you want from me about me not replying for 45 minutes when I had to beg his gf over hours and hours of texts every so often to not force me to sit in unwiped shit after my surgery bc she had openly told me she just didn't rly feel like setting up the attachable bidet after telling me for weeks she would, and I never ever got a reply from her or L ever acknowledging that they were wide awake hanging out and laughing while I was like stuck in bed barely able to move begging for follow through on a commitment they made in advance and i eventually had to spend over $100 to hire someone to come out the next day and do it for me and I had to hold my shit for hours lmfao

like L is sooooo great at couching things in flawless tumblr wellness speak but only to talk about how valid they are for not showing up for you and how fucked up it is that you MIGHT ever have a moment where you can't be 100% there w them. like idk what to tell you I've been laying in bed with a sore throat and cough and fever passing out and waking up to roll over in buckets of sweat like the rest of the house. I do genuinely get being annoyed by a lack of response but it's also right back to this whole thing about Always assuming I'm mad at them which is legit one of the only things that actually makes me mad fjdkddhk like bro I do not THINK about you when you're not acting like I'm a bomb about to blow (also, as an aside -- we all take turns buying TP and it's usually me who does it like it's not out of pocket for me to say hey you are the One person who is out of the house already rn, can you get this on your way bc None of the bathrooms have back up rolls and one is totally out and I had to text our sickest roommate telling her to use the bidet and drip dry like.... "am I the first person you asked" yes bc you are the person who makes the most sense dumbfuck. I'm not being "overly needy" toward you or whatever jfc)

they literally told me at one point that the reason they're so scared of me is that my face is "triggering" for them when I'm angry or not feeling good and puts them "back in a really bad place" they have seen my face angry literally 3 times and each time it was on my way back to my room to decompress and each time I said nothing to them other than that I was in a bad mood and I was going to go to my room. I didn't yell either I just said it normal. like I genuinely feel gaslit here like I'm this horrifying monster of a man when it's like dude sometimes people are mad I don't know what YOU want from ME!! I do all my venting here where they can't ever see it even tho we've blocked each other, I censor their name like anyone even knows who they are, I isolate to chill out and it's literally been less than a handful of times like should I fling myself from the roof??????? would that fix it???

I literally know it's bc I'm a man too. none of this was like this until my facial hair came in more and it got crazy worse after I got top surgery and they're so so vocal about how much they despise men and think men should all fuck off and die and there's only a handful of acceptable men that they've personally vetted. despite them pretty clearly having a trans woman fetish bc they only date or look at porn of trans women and they do the whole step on me mommy thing about it even tho their gf has complained like. lmfao you're just a baby te//rf even tho you ID as trans masc yourself. like that's all this even is. I'm a big (5'3") scary (spent the whole weekend w my coworkers asking if I was 12) man who's obviously going to snap and kill you all bc sometimes I *checks writing on hand* get frustrated and go lay down about it

[lesbianstarlightglimmer]

night

[literaphobe]

dude so sorry about the weirdos :( i was super excited to see ur post-mcc takes and i hate to see people being ableist dicks for no reason hope ur doing ok !!

yeah honestly i just think most of them are so goddamn dumb n have no fucking reading comprehension and some of their attempts to ‘counter’ me are so bloody goddamn stupid that i am praying for themmmm i don’t wanna directly interact bc they’re dumb n they’ll probably cry about how they’re getting cyberbullied by anons (VERY ironic how some of them said i shouldn’t have posted a ‘bad take’ if i wasn’t ready to get ‘clowned’ like ok then don’t dogpile someone if ur weak ass doesn’t want anon ‘hate’? lmfao) but i remember one of them being like ‘ughhhhh 🙄 op ur so dumb if people are short in basketball that doesn’t mean we make the basketball hoop easier to reach!’ and that’s such a lousy comparison to make that completely LACKS compassion too like damn i’m sorry but when people have adhd or they’re colorblind schools that aren’t EVIL will be like oh i see! do you need extra time to complete assignments and exams? is there are anyway we can assist you on questions that have color identification involved?

and yes, mcc isn’t school but they are run by people with COMPASSION. and the willingness to make changes if they see how badly affected some of their players are? like, they’ve made changes to buildmart before, notably the subtitle that pops up n shows what the name of a block is when u go near to it! and that’s great! but some of you are acting like it’s laughable to want different/further changes upon review? its like giving someone a monocle and then laughing when they say ‘these help, but i think having something like prescription glasses can help even more’ and when people say shit like ‘god, x just affects a minority of the players. most of them are just fine’ DO YOU HEAR… YOURSELF

i don’t think i need to recontextualize that sentiment to show how devoid of awareness that is. who cares? who cares if the only issue w buildmart is how it disproportionately affects people with colorblindness and the only colorblind player was george? (he isn’t. btw. but he arguably has the worst case of colorblindness) or that buildmart disproportionately affects people w adhd n there was only one player who had it? scream and cry about how it’s not that deep all you want, i KNOW so many of the people who tried to mock me didn’t watch any of the povs i was talking about. like didn’t some of y’all cry about how parkour warrior supposedly gave someone a panic attack? if that’s valid criticism then (which i think it is! i do think that parkour warrior became flawed after all the difficulty reworks and if it was so upsetting to certain people then a rework of the game is needed) why isn’t any of this stuff valid now? and why is it so hard to believe that someone also had a similar reaction playing build mart?

and another thing. like i see ‘oh if it bothers you so much then don’t play mcc? every game gives u anxiety should they remove every game then?’ like look. i have anxiety and adhd. anxiety is Not neurodivergency. there is a big difference between an entire event being a huge trigger and giving you panic attacks at every potential turn and 1-2 games that you physically are unable to play like a neurotypical person because your brain structure prevents from doing things that could be CHANGED to help you and others like you. if someone just can’t handle the pressure of a competitive event like mcc and it makes them crack and suffer bouts of anxiety that is a Health issue. it is a health issue and if they want to step aside from something that hurts them in its Entirety, then that’s fine. but if someone can’t find sand blocks n cracked gold blocks bc they can’t detect the differentials in the shades of the colors n all that would need to be done was perhaps. changing the colors to be much more distinct or the textures of the blocks to be easier to identify without color then… why can’t people Want that. why can’t people ask for that

i understand! that people are being toxic and rude n overshadowing people’s victories n perhaps even shitting on the people that won on like, twitter or something. i get if you’re mad that people on dttwt are sending hate or something like that! but this isn’t twitter! i never once implied that mcc was a bad event or was being run by bad evil mean people who rig the whole thing. don’t take your grievances out on me! don’t interpret my posts in bad faith and then cower and cry wolf when u find out people who see sense are willing to stand up for me! and if u wanted to see if i was complaining about the winners of this mcc like some people were after the last few mccs as well then you could’ve scrolled down my blog and looked at my other posts instead of having weird preconceived notions about what i am or what i stand for. its possible to feel happy for others’ success while still wanting changes to be made to certain games. like. survival games gave mcc15 red rabbits the win. but i still think that the point system needed to be reworked after that bc it gave too many coins. u can be happy and still think things can change/improve to be more fair/make the event better. which is what noxcrew DOES. they want to make changes not because they think they’ll get hate if they don’t but because they care about their event being good and they have integrity about it and that’s why they take feedback on this stuff all the time. ultimately, the decisions they make as event organizers and minecraft developers are theirs, but it doesn’t mean people can’t speak their minds

[futuregws]

They might be still lurking so if you don’t answer this on your blog I understand BUT wanna hear something interesting about the person she quote tweeted with that picture?

First of all, I knew at some point she’ll post a pic of them 2 as some kind of validation for shippers and “gotcha” to antis. It’s funny af that it’s a bts pic where I’m not even sure if that’s Joseph or not and they’re not even near each other LMFAO

Secondly, that person is also here on tumblr. I won’t write there name if you do decide to post BUT. This person often draws a lot of fanart of ExC ship. This is the same person who posted that art of them two flexing together AND in the tags said “I’m gonna draw nsfw art out of spite”. This is the same post that Grace reblogged (then deleted) saying “the tags made me 😈”.

Also like last week or so they DID draw a nsfw art of eddie eating Chr*ssy out… which got reported and flagged for adult content (obviously). And they ranted about “American Puritanism” and blamed disgusting/jealous/childish st*ddies for taking down their art. Meanwhile some blogs sub posted about what they said, saying that they sounded homophobic af to blame st*ddies for tumblr taking down their NSFW art as if tumblr doesn’t have policies against it

You know what, fuck it I'm gonna post this bc I wanna answer and it would be complicated to do it on a separate post, but before I say anything if someone could send me that persons @ on here so I can block please, and now onto what the ask is actually about and where to even begin, I'm not surprised that the person posting that acts the way they do bc apparently they are also a Joe and Grace shipper so I think that says a lot about how far they go and how obsessed they are, and this whole vibe from Grace's posts where it looks like she's trying to annoy or like you said having that "gotcha" energy with it, it's embarrassing, post whatever but don't act as if you're posting something out of this world that will make some people in this case "antis" be furious bc that's in her head and her fans heads and if they care that much to try and make us mad idk what to tell them, and about that last part I don't even have words to express how grossed out I am, first of all them coming out and complaining about "American puritanism" uhm girly you are literally posting explicit sexual content on an app that has numerous times tried to make those type of stuff go away, so I don't know what they were expecting from this, and second that's fucking gross, what's the point of drawing stuff like that, bc if it's still to "piss antis off" then geez get another hobby bc it's starting to look like a very unhealthy obsession, and the fact that they're making drawings like that when one of the characters is a minor, it's ten times worse, they need to get their heads out of their ass bc I really don't understand in what world making a drawing like that it's totally okay, more specifically with the characters in question, and the main problem is not even the type of drawing even though I do have my problems with this one in specific, If you wanna draw stuff like that go for it, but you have to accept that when you're posting that on the internet some people might get uncomfortable and rightfully so, not everyone likes looking at explicit sexual acts if you wanna post stuff like that with no problems go to the appropriate website, and the audacity they have to blame steddie shippers, I've noticed that it has become some type of trend to blame steddie shippers for everything even when they didn't do anything, it's like edissy shippers see themselves as superior and any other opinion or ship is below them and the fact that the ship in question is a gay ship certainly makes you think a little deeper as to where that's coming from bc it's not normal to target a group of people when they haven't done anything and on top of that for it to be a group supporting mlm relationships feels definitely homophobic

[lovedeathalice]

all you gotta do bae is block them. don’t respond to them cuz it only adds gas to the fire. whether you use it as a coping mechanism or not, it’s nobody’s fucking business in the first place. they’re acting like eren yeager is an actual person but he’s not. He as well as ALL fanfics are made up. you’re doing the most you can by adding warnings, tagging the fic and adding a ‘keep reading’ tab with it. It’s not your fault that they choose to ignore warnings. It’s there for a reason.

Another note, nobody is glorifying rape. If you read a non con fanfic and think “hmm, well if it’s like this scenario, I would let it slide” then you should either seek therapy or you’re not old enough to be reading about topics like this. To know that some people think that we think rape is okay is absolutely absurd. We obviously know the fucking difference and would never want that to happen to us irl nor would we wish it upon anyone. And the fact that people are wishing it or implying it is truly appalling.

If dark content bothers you, filter out the tags and block those creators so you NEVER have to come across dark content. We won’t get offended, if you’re uncomfortable with it, it’s all good. I also don’t understand why people are getting mad that we’re calling it dark fanfics? What, do you want us to call it “Eren fluff” or some stupid shit like that?

Point is, nobody is gonna stop writing what they want just because you don’t like it. It may be helping someone mentally. If you were SA and therapy worked for u, congradu-fucking-lations but everyone is different. Tumblr as well as AO3 have nothing in the guidelines that say writing dark content isn’t allowed. Especially cuz Eren’s a fucking anime character lolzz.

Sorry for the long message, it’s just so infuriating to see the entitlement of some people. I hope you’re doing okay and don’t let this get to your head. Just block em and they’ll have nothing to bitch about. You can also block an anonymous sender so their ask never reach you.

Love ya, sweet❣️

Tw: SA & rape mention below the cut, & long ass rant

YES YES, EXACTLY EVERY SINGLE THING YOU SAID HERE!!!!!!

I always ignore them best I can, but at that point i literally just lashed out because saying i WANT to be SA'd??? Like are you fucking serious???

I see SO many ppl, aka antis, in every single fandom treating SA as some kind of right & requirement to write noncon & it's insane.

It's a fantasy. As simple as that. It's common, and I sure as hell DON'T want it to happen to me IRL, at ALL. So getting occasional hate wishing that on me is just so mind boggling & disgusting. Like how u gonna get mad at me for what I write then proceed to be a shit human being in the next sentence🤦🏻‍♀️

At the end of the day, this is all FICTION!! Eren Jaeger is not a real man. He's fake. He won't jump out the screen & say "Hey guys I'm uncomfy with being in dark fics😢"💀 LMFAO

And exactly, I literally tag everything, put warnings, and put everything below the cut! I do my part, so do yours by avoiding my fics if you dislike them!!

Being uncomfortable with what I write is understandable, but when you harass me over it, it definitely isn't.

Plus people who write dark content do not always need therapy. Fanfics for me are an outlet. It's as simple as that.

And please don't be sorry for the long message! THANK YOU for sending it!! It really helps me and makes me feel better after getting shitty hate🥺💞 Thank you sm for sending this in, it means so much to me💞

Also i need to know how to block anons?!??! Bc holy shit that would solve all my tumblr problems

[justjstuff]

6, 9, and 26 for the writing asks! Hope you are having a wonderful day, J 💜

hi, hon! sorry for the wait! hehe thanks for the ask <3 Btw, was it you that reblogged something from Zoey smth-smth? lmfao bro you GOTTA watch Zombieland I swear to god I love that movie, it's so ridiculous xD

6. What point of view do you tend to write in? Do all of your pieces use the same POV? Do you have strong opinions on the POV used in novels?

r: Third person, always. I have VERY strong opinions about 1st person POVs lmfao I actually hate every single book I tried to read in 1st person. It feels very off-putting imo bc I never read a book inserting myself into the character (same reason I can't read y/n fics) so it feels wrong to see it "talking" as if it were me. The only two exceptions to that rule are Twilight bc I read it when I was 8/9/10 and it was the shit back then and Ume's fic the Eventual Descent. I don't know what it is about Ume's fic but I barely even notice that it's in first person, the plot is so captivating, the characters so fucking well-written it's just *chef's kiss*. This isn't to say that I don't change POVs while writing. I know some people say it's "bad writing" but I wholeheartedly disagree. A story can be told by just one person and it's even nice to play with the whole unreliable narrator style and the ramifications of it but that's not the only way to tell a story imo. I do think that the way the guy from GoT wrote his books is terrible tho lmfao. Yeah, mad genius that he is, it's very very VERY uncomfortable to me to be reading about smth that's kinda dull and then as soon as it starts to get interesting I'm suddenly reading about a character that is even more terribly boring than the first one. Lol, I'm probably gonna get hate for it but hey, if it's your thing then it's your thing, this is just my opinion.

Another thing that it's definitely a no-no for me is when the POV changes without a proper sign of it changing. No line breaks, no chapter breaks, nuthin'. It absolutely takes me out of the story when you're reading something and then you have to keep reading back to figure out who is now describing the scene to you. Changing POVs is great imo but it requires a bit more care about how the story is written in general, you gotta be mindful of the flow.

To answer the question, yes I do have strong opinions about it lol.

I should point out that these are all my personal opinions, this doesn't mean at all that if whoever is reading this does the things I don't like that they're a bad writer or anything like that. Even if I had tons of degrees in Literature (which I obviously don't) you should never listen to someone who says things like "this is the way you write well" or "if you do this, then your story sucks". Just tell those people to shut the fuck up. There's no right or wrong in writing, okay? Just what you like and what your readers like. Machado de Assis, one of the most famous Brazilian writers of all time wrote his books with TONS of grammatical mistakes. And you know what happened? We made rules about it lol. Now we accept those "mistakes" as something you can do in Portuguese all because this guy wrote books that people liked. So, yeah. To anyone reading this: DO YOUR THING.

9. What scene was the hardest to write for you and why?

r: Kakashi and Sakura kissing. LMFAO. I took around 200k words to get to a point where they would kiss for the mission, right? And it was fine, I kind of freaked out about it when I wrote but it was cool cool cool. Now, their real kiss? OH MY GOD, bro, I had such a hard time. I think I already told you guys this but I wrote like three times how they would get together and then ended up saving those scenes for later lol. I think this story is just an immense buildup to getting them to a point where I would like to see them together that now that they're finally there I'm... scared? I don't really know. It feels like I forgot how to write romance lmfao I'm currently rewriting their first real kiss for the fourth time I think and it's where I stopped with this writer's block :/

26. What do you feel like you need to work on as a growing writer? How can you improve?

r: This is a really great question. When I started writing (in Portuguese) I kind of copied the style from the books that I used to read at the time which is fine, you can't do anything without copying something first. The thing is, brazilian writing is a bit more... descriptive than English writing in general. Actually, let's make a comparison between English and Portuguese first. There are many linguistic reasons for this which I'm not gonna get into but in general, in Portuguese we use more words to speak. That is because of many many reasons but one of them is the fact that in English there's a process called "verbing" or "verbification" I think? Which is basically, you take a noun and you create a verb out of it. For example, to elbow, to distance, to inconvenience. In Portuguese, to say those things, we have to use more words, it takes us longer to get to the end result. Some more modern examples of it is terms like "Google it" or "Tweet it" or I dunno "DM her". We don't have that in PT.

Let me try and get back on track lol. So yeah, that happens because English speakers but mostly USAmericans tend to have a snappier way of speaking. You are direct and straight to the point in general. When I first started writing, my texts were best described as poems in prose form. lol. I was very descriptive, I took my time making sure the emotion was there and not just the basics to get my readers from point A to point B. I still like that type of writing but it gets tiring if it's a long piece. So, after being corrected by many english teachers on how I structured my stories (they were always very long sentences, sometimes a whole paragraph w only one phrase), I started changing the way I write.

Like anything in life, when you want to make a shift, you usually go from one end of the spectrum to the opposite. A full 180 turn. So I started writing shorter phrases, I stopped describing every single thing in the scene. I decided to let my readers fill in some of the blanks, let them figure out for themselves what kind of dress this character is wearing or how did she get from point A to point B, that's not the important part. Now, if you go see the first maybe ten chapters of Daughter of Fire, you'll see that I exaggerated on that end lmfao. Some things are too vague, some paragraphs could have been two or three sentences instead of five or six. It's okay, I don't go back to change those things bc I think it shows the progress I made as a writer.

What I want to do now, is to reach that middle ground, make a 90 degree turn instead lol. I managed to get better by treating first drafts as first drafts, I get my point across, point A to point B, quick, snappy. Then I go back and edit, I add descriptions, I connect the dots better. And that whole poem as prose thing? I save it for important moments. Those emotion heavy moments in the story where I do want to make the reader stop and feel. It's all a work in progress, I'm not even close to a professional writer or anything like that but that's where I'm at rn. I'm trying to find my feet in that middle ground.

[richietoaster]

Review/Reaction of IT Chapter Two

Let’s just start right off the bat and let me just say that Bill Hader better get a fucking award for his performance.

Alright. Here we go y’all. im trying to stay in order with what happened but so much happened in the movie that my brain is just all over the place so excuse me while i try to form words

UNDER THE CUT CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS

• first opening scene is a fucking LOT okay like i sobbed my eyes out and it was just not cool. adrian and his boyfriend? CUTE AF. Him getting brutally beat up and then killed by Pennywise while Don just watches? NOT CUTE AF

• Mike is a precious boy and I love him so. He cares about his friends so much holy shit. they all get mad at him for lying to them tho.But he only did it to protect them. Mike knew some SHIT(tm) our boy is so smart?? I’m glad they kept to his original storyline

• Older Bill gave himself so much shit this film and i just felt so bad. like we know it isnt ur fault okay?? We know you loved your brother, stop putting yourself down. also?? him becoming protective over dean? please stop my aching heart. 

• Jessica Chastain owns my whole heart and she can kick my ass anyday. She plays Bev so well and captures young bev’s personality so well. her scene with mrs kersh was very weird. i knew the second she ran naked in the hall i’d be seeing some weird fucking shit okay 

• Jay Ryan could kick me and I would personally thank him like?? wow what a man. He immediately recognizes bev when he first sees her and im just?? im happy. so many hidden new kids on the block reference and it had me fucking rolling in my grave

• JAMES FUCKING RANSONE MY DUDE OH LORD okay listen. he gives off young eddie’s panic and chaotic energy so perfectly i felt like i was watching him as an adult, who just never grew up. I think thats what he was going for honestly. He played eddie SO FUCKING WELL 

• I’m so sad about stan. THats all you need to know okay. I’ll talk about his letter later on in this. Stan deserved better. that’s all. 

• if you are not a fan of vomit you’re not gonna enjoy richie tozier. literally any time something bad happens hes just like ah shit here we go again *vomits* and honestly? that made me laugh. like hes just like oh shit something is happening let.. let me just.. no no its fine guys ill catch up.. EHBWFIJHDFSIJ no okay but bill hader stole the fucking show. his acting was phenomenal and,, again,, i’ll add more onto that later. 

• richie scares the shit out of dean. because he thinks hes pennywise. but can you blame him? the kid just. stared at him all creepy and shit. but its so funny. the losers make fun of him bc he doesnt know his own lines from his acts and richies just like “I dont write my own material” and eddies just like “I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT” dead. goodbye.

• Young losers were still my favorite part honestly. Eddie kept bouncing that stupid ball in stan’s face in the clubhouse and i was waiting for him to get punched in the face tbh. That didn’t even seem like eddie, that was Jack’s energy bursting through the seams lmfao

• young eddie runs into a fucking box and shrieks and if that isn’t me idk ewhdfiajksjdoi 

• THE FUCKING. HAMMOCK. SCENE. okay listen to me. thats gay. hammocks are now gay. gays only. gay interacts only. the bickering between reddie had me in TEARS. eddie kept kicking at his face and just?? casually??? lays on him when richie wont move?? 

• stan’s fucking shower cap ehfdiujasdiosa and then richie being like “nobodys afraid of spiders stanley okay” and eddie slowly removes his because he cares what richie thinks more than spiders ok

• a flashback from after they defeated IT in the first move with reddie “eddie youve been gone for 24 hours your face is most likely on a milk carton by now” “shut up richie” 

• yong Richie has me weak af this whole movie, like always. just getting on Eddie’s case. HE PINES SO HARD OH Y GOD Like wow my sweet boy is so fucking in love ouch. which?? BRINGS ME TO MY NEXT POINT??

• THE ARCADE SCENE?? he checks out the kid standing next to him and tries to get him to hang out more and then the other kid tells him to stop being weird because he’s not gay, too, and then uses the F slur. richie was just so hurt. paul bunyun scene happens after that and hes just like “I just shit my pants” and i cried. 

• pennywise screaming “lets play truth or dare, you wouldnt pick truth! you dont want them to know your secret” gave off the same energy as eddie’s leper blowjob scene from the book. same energy. do with that as you will. 

• they had some flashbacks that included pennywise and im not sure if this was before or after they had defeated IT in the first movie but i interpreted it as after and if thats the case... hes supposed to be dead. but now thinking back on it, it was probably just more scenes before they put pennywise to rest for 27 years. 

• young richie went to the kissing bridge after that and we ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THERE. fucking.. r + e :((( although we don’t see him carving the E. but reddie is canon so suck toes antis

• stephen king pretty much being like “I know u and ur endings really do suck” to bill when he comes to buy his bike was so fucking funny. it almost felt like a self insert lmfao. ALSO HIM MAKING BILL PAY 300 BUCKS FOR THE BIKE BC HE KNEW HE COULD AFFORD IT? iconic. 

• richie and eddie opening the door to the dog had me laughing. pennywise was just mocking them at that point. they’d be such good dog dads and now im sad

• i was really confused because they added part of stan’s bar mitzvah?? like it wasn’t even the same from the first movie. like they should’ve just put the deleted scene in from ch. 1 and then added that part. thats one of my very few complaints. im slowly hiding them in here. 

• henry bowers was kinda irrelevant in this honestly but thank you eddie for stabbing him and richie for killing him for trying to kill mike yall heroes 

• BEVS BLOOD SCENE ?? CORRESPONDING WITH BENS BURIED ALIVE SCENE? poetic cinema. 10/10

• the big fight really disappointed me in all honesty. but i think thats because andy said he cut so much from there. i expect it to be better with the director’s cut

• eddie saving richie and then immediately being stabbed by pennywise’s claw? IM DEPRESSED.

• “Rich! rich, i did it! i think i killed him!” Our boy was so happy with himself :( 

• eddie’s last words WERE NOT “i fucked your mom”. he was talking to richie and you can hear them talking while the rest are preparing to end pennywise. so im hoping we get that as a deleted scene. 

• richie goes back to help finish pennywise but when he goes to check on eddie.. he’s dead. ://// and bev is like “richie, come on, honey.. im sorry” and richie does not want to believe him. he grabs and hugs eddie so tight i swear i could feel that hug from the audience. 

• another thing im disappointed in and am sliding in is some of the animations? Like. fucking weird. but okay. luckily i didn’t care too much.  

• THE SOB that richie lets out when he holds eddie really hurt my fucking soul jesus christ just kill me

• the losers try cheering him up after and like. thats their friend too but you can just totally tell he’s crying in a different type of grief. THAT WAS HIS FIRST FUCKING LOVE. 

• they all remember after and thats really important to me okay

• stan writes letters and its spoken outloud while the other losers get little montages of what theyre doing with their life after the battle. Richie goes back to the kissing bridge and recarves- YES RECARVES AND YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE THE E BEFORE HE DOES- he recarves the E and while doing it, stan’s voice says “be proud of who you are” and im fucking cry ibg okay

• in the end, i give this movie a 7/10 rating. although some of the animations were weird and some of the flashbacks had pennywise in it (like hes supposed to be currently dead but ok... maybe nightmares??) the actors were PHENOMENAL and the chemistry between older richie and older eddie made me so happy. my ship is canon. but im still sad about stan and eddies death. 

• ignoring canon in 3.. 2.. 1.. now 

[tslasvegas]

Episode 13: “What a depressing trip to Las Vegas” - Jaiden

I just have one thing to say.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! It worked! I didn't expect Joey to vote with us. I feel bad about that, but hey, we couldn't see him being sincere. If he told us who the others were voting for, then maybe we would have changed votes. Jaiden was open to it already. Kailyn is probably the one who voted with John for Liv. Maybe she thought he would play and idol or maybe jury management. Anyway, she should have told us. 

Joey got voted out. Which was not supposed to happen this round. Pat and Jeff are just so naive and easily to manipulate. I’m sure they could be convinced to self vote without any real effort. I don’t even want to bother working with them moving forward because of it. But I might have to. I can’t let grudges get in the way of getting to the end game. Honestly at this point I’d be happy going to F3 with Liv and Kailyn. Xavier is too nice. Jaiden is too... out there? Love him, but I don’t want to sit next to him at the end. And Pat and Jeff i just don’t think they deserve to make it that far

I still can’t believe tribal tonight was real. It’s been like six hours and I’m still in shock that Joey finally went home. Like... what??? I’ve been dealing with that dude for three weeks and I’ve held his little secret in until it finally came of use to me, and... now I’m in the final seven. The game has NOT been won yet and while I feel like cheering and celebrating, I need to maintain my focus and center myself as the game is nowhere close to being over yet. We’ve still got at least four tribals to go, but after tonight I might be able to say that I’m exactly halfway through the merge (assuming it’s a final three... dear god please be a final three). Top eight was a really hard mountain to climb and once I lost immunity I felt a little out of touch with what was gonna happen next. I really felt like my time was going to come, and I’m so thankful that it wasn’t. Tbh Kailyn might’ve gone home today had Jeff not told me about a Palazzo chat still being alive and well. I don’t know how I’m gonna turn this bad situation around again but I need to convince Keegan and Livingston to work with me, Kailyn, and Xavier. It is critical now that Jeff or Pat go home because one of them is going to win. Before Joey left, he told me that there is a rumor that Jeff or Pat have an idol nullifier. While a nullifier won’t affect me right now, it’s not something that I want to see in the game going forward period and I want to use that little piece of information to my benefit and finally get rid of Pat. I’ve been saying for SO LONG that we need to get rid of Pat and now the time is ticking down. He has to go as soon as possible, fuck whatever Jeff says. Tbh I want to fly into the final six with no votes cast against me, still. I wonder if I can get Jeff and Pat to target like Keegan or Livingston and I really just need Xavier or Kaitlyn to bring up Pat’s name first before Jeff.. I doubt they have the smarts to recognize the danger that they pose, but we will see... Keegan is DEFINITELY pissed off at me now too. I made the mistake of telling him that I was “a little annoyed” about how tribal went, which was such a dumb thing to say bc tribal went exactly how I wanted it to. I’m playing off the fact that Kailyn must’ve known abt Joey voting for Livingston because her name was on the chopping block too so that’s why it went 4-2-2 rather than 5-2-1 like it was supposed to. I don’t want anybody to know that I was playing for Joey’s advantage which I’m sure people think I have right now lmfao... Anyways really I need to just make Keegan NOT hate me because he’s still part of my plan long term (I think)... he’s really smart tho and I’m not counting him out to win the whole thing but he hasn’t really done much of anything whereas people like Jeff and Pat and Xavier have kinda done a lot... If Keegan isn’t prepared to be fully loyal to me til the end then there’s nothing I can say to him except adios. All I really need right now is an immunity run til the end. I hope that the next challenge is something that doesn’t require a lot of skill because I am INCREDIBLY anxious just thinking about a competition, live. I need final seven immunity because then I’m guaranteed top five... the furthest I’ve ever been in Tumblr Survivor by a mile. I’ll break so many of my own personal records with that one single immunity win. In fact, if I make it to final five, that will be the best I’ve literally ever done in a Skype survivor org. I haven’t done that good since April and it’s just really affirming to me that this was the right decision for me to come back to Tumblr. Aside from winning challenges and making more moves, I also have gotta start fixing my bad relationships. Like I mentioned earlier, Keegan seems REALLY pissed off at me for how things went down with him being left out of the vote again. I can only apologize so many times before I am simply unforgivable. Maybe say sorry less and work to do better??? Idfk. But if Jeff or Pat can just say Keegan’s name, I’ll do what I can to prove to him that I’m loyal to HIM and not them. I hope that the Palazzos are falling to pieces now and realize that the only way to the end is to stick by us and nobody else. Jeff was also pretty mad at me for pushing his buttons a lot today. But honestly he was feeding me utter bullshit. I don’t buy that he was my savior and guardian Angel today, protecting me from having my name come up. I should honestly tell Livingston that Jeff sold him out to me not too long after Livingston said my name in their little chat. That would be hilarious. Kailyn and I are pretty close, but it could be better. I think I tend to revert all game-conversations with Xavier, so I don’t consider Kailyn my main ally unfortunately. If I want to go to the final three with her and Xavier, I need to really work on building that GAME relationship up because as a person I think we vibe well but it’s gonna come down to a couple factors and if she *has* to be sacrificed for me to get further, I can’t do anything but let it happen unfortunately.. As I just said, Xavier is kind of my main strategic ally right now which is super weird to say. He has definitely stepped it up A LOT in the strategic department and I have a lot of respect for him just as a person and I want to try and pick his brain a little bit more. The only thing with Xavier is that he seems to be playing really “safe” right now - I think had the opportunity presented itself to vote for Jeff with Joey, Xavier wouldn’t have gone for it and would’ve wanted to stick strong with voting Livingston instead. Which I totally get, but this game right now kinda requires we make bolder decisions than just what kinda didn’t work last time, you know? Okay now for Pat - god our relationship is just so weird. I have virtually not ties to Pat except the one alliance with Jeff and I feel like Jeff wants to control Pat rather than let Pat be his own player. It’s weird. I wonder if Pat would be down to vote out Jeff but fuck it’s gonna be hard to pull that off. I don’t want to hold off on Pat BECAUSE if I can’t get him out next, I will need him at final six and hopefully final five to serve as a sacrificial lamb or something. I’m wondering now if maybe Livingston needs to go because people are gonna always view Pat as a huge threat to win, even though he might not necessarily do so if he gets there. Livingston... yeah I really don’t like Livingston lmfao. I think it’s because of his super close connection to Rachael but it might also be because he is like, cool and nerdy and a bit of a try hard “around camp” so to speak. What REALLY gets on my nerves about Livingston is that he possesses zero of the charisma to convince me that he sucks at this game but enough social finesse to make me think that he’s actually gonna win if he gets to the end. He’s like, that cool dork everybody was friends with in high school. Even though parts of his game have been lackluster as fuck, he’s still a massive threat to win and I might just need to kick him off to the jury as soon as possible. :) And finally... me! I’m gonna try hard to be unbiased and self-aware but it’s so difficult to do that bc I genuinely don’t know how ppl are perceiving me this time.. I THINK it’s mostly positive but tonight was definitely one of my most negative episodes bc of how stressful I was being before tribal. Just ask Jeff. I think I’m definitely succeeding in getting votes to go my way and I have had a LOT of things go right for me since the merge. From Stephanie leaving right when I needed her to, to the double removal, to the super idol coming out and getting rid of Joey... It’s been so good so far. BUT I’m not being subtle about it. Subtlety is not a strength of mine that’s for sure.. I think I succeeded in being “subtle” about the Steph thing bc I was not making it overly obvious I wanted her out but otherwise I’ve been very clearly controlling other decisions and how certain votes went. Leaving two people I don’t trust in the game (Pat/Jeff) is tough but at least I worked with them on something, right? Joey was telling me so much that he was gonna lose to me and I think he was right. Now Jeff is saying that he’s probably going to lose if we’re in the end, but he doesn’t want to vote me out. Do I trust that? Not really... But fuck, I don’t even know anymore!!! I think if the game was over right now, I’m going to be grilled to DEATH for being fake as hell to Joey. I think that’s gonna come back to bite me so I need to start talking POSITIVELY about Joey to EVERYBODY. Read him for game, not for personal reasons. And maybe I’ll even talk his game up going forward just so that the person who goes into jury at least relays that I made a “good move” voting for Joey to leave (even tho I didn’t vote for Joey hehe). I wonder if people think I’m just playing tjem as pawns and not as real people.. bc these are definitely real people we are playing with here and I recognize that, but honestly in my mind nobody here wants this as badly as me. If that makes me the villain, I’m fine being the villain. But I’m not a human being that will ever play this game with a passion to play humanely. I want to win so badly. I’m going crazy in my own head, the wheels turning in hyperspeed. I’ve never been hungrier for something like I am for this win... I can hold out another year in this environment if I have to. I can and I will 🤠

Darn third world slow internet connection! Anyway, it made others look like challenge threats more than me, so hopefully that gets me through more rounds if they think other people can win more :) 

That was a very stressful and very tense immunity challenge. Jeff was the clear front runner for the first five rounds, being the first person to advance in all of them. He’s a quick typer which made me very worried I wouldn’t be able to pull off a win. However, the last round was “Name That Song” and with the help of Siri, I snagged the immunity necklace! Final 6 here I come! This round presents me with an interesting dilemma. Since I have immunity I can be a little more ballsy. So I could throw Jeff or Pat under the bus, try to sway Jaiden, Kailyn and Xavier to vote one of them out. Or I can stick with the OG Palazzo group that is saying (for the fifth time I might add) that they want to stick together. That hasn’t worked out at all yet this merge and we’ve voted 4 people out. Pat and Jeff seem pretty interested in targeting Xavier for being a social threat which I don’t disagree with. But Jaiden is a very strong player. This is one of those rounds where I’m insanely grateful to have immunity because there’s also a bunch of advantages out there. I know Livingston has a regular idol now. But there’s vote steals and extra votes and idol nullifiers out there somewhere and that’s so nerve-wracking. Also, Jaiden mentioned to me that this is the last round for a lot of those advantages and I just don’t think I buy that. Final 7 is a weird place for that. Regardless, I’m fully expecting this to be a wild and crazy tribal tomorrow. Can’t wait to see what happens because I get to sit there looking pretty with my new bling. Xoxo Gossip Girl

I am terrified of tribal today and I have a bunch of different ideas in my head but I just want to survive. Kind of where I am at is I feel like I am getting 7th no matter what because I have never tasted top 6 in an ORG. I could play an idol here at 7, waste it, and then just get fucked at 6. One thing I thought about was "finding" the idol part of the way through tomorrow and then letting OG Palazzo know to build trust. The only issue with this is that the idol nullifier is in play. It could still be on the board. It was on the board when I got my auction advantage. But if it isn't, and Pat and Jeff turn on me, I could be fucked idol or no idol if the nullifier is played. I suppose that Pat and Jeff have both never voted me as far as I can tell, unless I have miscalculated one of the vote counts for the past 2 tribals. Maybe it'd be safer to hold onto the idol quietly and just hope I don't leave with it in my pocket. This is so stressful because if I leave with it in my pocket, I look like an idiot that had the luck to get two advantages but couldn't traverse the game much past that. 

Okay so, Jeff is my closest ally at this point. Voting out Joey was our move and I am very happy we did. I don’t express the anger that I’m feeling and I think that helps keep my relationships good with people. I think I’m good with Livingston and Keegan and also Jaiden and Kailyn. I was Xavier out this round but I feel like something is going to happen. No one knows I have an idol which is amazing and I hope I don’t have to use it til final 5 and I have immunity and can play it on someone else for the fun of it. I can’t believe I made final 7 and am actually kicking up playing the game by voting correctly on Joey. I think so far I have 2 of the 4 votes at final tribal council, Andrew and Steph. I think I have a road there, I just hope I make the right decision because I’m still in I a weird phase of the game and anything can happen. 

This tribal feels very weird. Jaiden is insisting he hasn’t heard anything at all about the vote. Which I find very strange considering he’s basically been running things most of this merge. Why would suddenly no one tell him anything? Especially Kailyn and Xavier. Seems like those three are fairly open with each other. I could not be more happy to have immunity this round. No matter what happens, I am safe and have not a thing to worry about. I really really hope that Pat and Jeff are being honest and actually voting for Xavier like they say they are. If they’re flipping and voting for Livingston.... I don’t even want to imagine that. But I’m getting some sketchy vibes. Fingers crossed it’s just me being paranoid, though any time I say that something unexpected happens.

Ok I'm calling it, I'm going home tonight ! Literally nobody is telling me anything and it's really quite pathetic to see Keegan, who says we're super cool and good friends and will be friends once this is all over, win immunity and then not make a single attempt to pick me up and flip me to his side. Unless he's so confident that the Palazzo four will stick loyal to the very end... which they probably will, but Jeff is gonna beat all of them in the end and I think they see me as a big threat or something LOL I guess it's good gameplay for them but I hate it either way. I don't really have a lot to say bc now I just feel dumb. I wish I had an idol, but of course, I do not. Anyways, I'm going to have to stick with the fact that people are voting for Xavier tonight and hope my name doesn't come up at all. I'm going to lie and tell Xavier that I'm certain its me or Kailyn tonight and hope he holds an idol if he has it... or plays it on me heh. We'll see though... What a depressing trip to Las Vegas if it ends like this. 

The last Confessional :( 

[deansawthetvglow]

Hi!!! For the destiel ask game: 3, 4, 7, 10 and bonus!

Doing this

Sorry it took me AGES to do this lmao 

3. What are your top 5 favourite Destiel fanfics?

This one is SO HARD so I’m just gonna stick my giant fic rec here 

4. Who are your favourite Destiel fan artists?

oh GOSH this is IMPOSSIBLE 

im gonna just tag a heap of artists I love and aspire to be half as good as right here (and i am 100% gonna forget people) 

@c-kaeru @winchester-reload @crxstalcas @purgatory-jar @cas-watches-over-you-artblog @lizleeships @talths @soleeryx @gabester-sketch @sketchydean @myed89 + 1 million others !!!!! 

The artists in this fandom are all so unique and I appreciate them every single day! 

7. What made you start shipping Destiel? What’s the story?

Honestly…two years ago, if you asked me about supernatural I would have said “oh yeah, isn’t there like an angel named Destiel?” lmfao I was OBLIVIOUS…i just really had no interest in the show or the ship…i was way deeper in with johnlock (which is why sometimes destiel crossed my dash) and anyways….then one day in march or smthn, i was in a nice depressive state 💯🤪and I was laying in bed and I clicked Supernatural and was like…guess I’m just gonna….watch it i guess….

Two weeks later and I had watched seasons 1-13…yes…two weeks…I watched it walking to class…I watched it….IN class…and anyways. 

I got tumblr again, and realllly wanted to ship deancas…so I looked through bc like..in seasons 1-3 I was like [dean’s voice] “WHERE’S THE ANGEL” and when I found out he shows up in 4x01 I was SO excited…honestly, i was a little sad at how subtle Destiel was at first…like I think if i had been watching the show, I wouldn’t have picked up on it for a while…..

So anyways, I posted “When did you start shipping Destiel” (bc in the sherlock fandom it was perfectly normal to do that and tag the show and the ship) and I got DESTROYED and had to block a bunch of people ahahaha bc they were so mad I used the spn tag for it…and i was like…oof well this is gonna be....fun?…lmao...anyways, I just started reading fic and like seeing the love story develop, I think I finally like…FULLY shipped i in s8…but mind you…this was still in the span of 2 weeks lmfao…so yeah, now im just in the dumpster and I didn’t really get involved in fandom til after i binged bc I was afraid of spoilers (like i literally got to see everything totally new! i didn’t even know chuck was god!!!) and yeah, then i discovered the actors and all that and started getting addicted to jenmish and all that as well…so yeah…it was a quick spiral, but i’m so glad i’m here, it’s been an amazing fandom and I think i joined at just the right moment (i was still v sad when i found out the show was ending and i had just started it!!!) 

Anyways, that’s sorta a bit of the story, but yeah….Destiel is real 

10. Does Sam know and ship it? Or is he oblivious? (or smthn else?)

I think Sam knows about how Cas feels, but he doesn’t think Dean will ever grow the balls to reciprocate….but I imagine he’ll be so relieved when Dean admits his feelings. Ugh. But yeah, like Sam would def support them, especially if it means they’re happy. 

Bonus: DeanCas or Destiel?

I use them interchangeably ! DeanCas feels like the revamped less *cringe* version, but I don’t really heed that. I will use Destiel also till I die. I think I use destiel more because its the OG but I’ll tag deancas for soft things or when it’s more of a post about their friendship rather than romantic relationship! 

Thanks for asking ! 

[soflsms]

   ( sorry  I'm  late  to  the  party  im  in  pst  so  i  was  at  work  til  now  sdkfjl )  ANYWHO  hi  pals  what  the  h*ck  is  up  !!  im  chloe  ,  im  21  ,  i  use  she / her  pronouns  &  im  a  broke  a$$  geography  major  !!   i  am  SO  excited  to  be  her  &  get  to  rp  with  all  y’all  bc  judging  by  your  apps  skdflj  i  fuck  with  u  all  .  anywho  ill  stop  my  rambling  ,  below  the  readmore  is  stuff  about  sofie  &  some  wcs !!  

trigger  warning  !!  sex  work  ,  deportation  ,  neglect  ,  bad  writing  ,  alcoholism  &  substance  abuse

HAILEY BALDWIN  /  SHE/HER  /  TWENTY TWO  /  BILLIE EILISH VC

welcome to los angeles , sofie almeda ! the glitterati has been watching you . rumour has it you made your first mark in the industry two years ago & that your net worth currently stands at  8m . it seems as though you’re enjoying being a  singer since relocating from  harlem , new york city . some might say you’d be a good fit for the glitterati due to your hollywood ranking being a solid  #3, & it helps that fans speak so highly of your  individualistic & assiduous ways . unfortunately , our sources cite that those closest to you aren’t particularly impressed with your  self-destructive & choleric tendencies .

stats

name  :   sofie sydney almeda

nicknames  :   sof

age  :  twenty - two  .

birthday  :  december  eleventh  .

zodiac  :  sagittarius  .

gender  :  cisfemale  (  though  doesn’t  vibe  with  the  idea  of  being  STRICTLY  a  WoMaN  ,  she  finds  labels  restrictive  )  .

pronouns  :  she    &    her  .

height  :  5 ′ 6 ″  .

hometown  :    recife  ,  brazil  &  harlem  ,  new  york  city  .

nationality  :  american  ,  brazilian  .

ethnicity  :  english  ,  portuguese   .

label(s)  :  the  venereal  ,  the  bellwether  ,  the  opulent  ,   the  anaxiphile   .

occupation  :  singer  (  vc  billie  eilish  )  .  

quirks  :  fidgeting  ,  allergic  to  shellfish  ,  walks  quickly  ,  cracks  knuckles  ,  always  wears  her  lucky  ‘  st  christopher  ’  necklace  from  her  grandmother  ,  has  a  weird  ability  to  talk  herself  out  of  trouble  ,  can  tie  a  cherry  stem  in  her  mouth  ,  messy  emotionally  but  on - point  physically  ,  vvv  bad  driver  ,  loves  a  good  theme  party  ,  can’t  get  through  the  day  without  multiple  cups  of  coffee  ,  refuses  to  wear  glasses  in  public  even  though  she’s  quite  far - sighted  ,  always  carries  hand  sanitizer ,  prefers  rain  over  sunshine  .

background

         her  mother  ,  marcia  almeda  ,  was  a  recent  graduate  from  secondary  school  who  packed  a  backpack  and  went  traveling !! before  long  tho ��she  ended  up  knocked  up  by  another  backpacker  ,  this  one  american  ,  while  they  were  having  a  fling  in  sydney  (  hence  sofie’s  middle  name  lmao  @  her  mom’s  humor  )  .  she  flew  back  home  when  she  found  out  &  never  told  sofie’s  father  oops !! so  marcia  had  sofie  at  home  in  recife  just  before  her  nineteenth  birthday  ,  and  marcia  was  enthralled  w  little  sofie  .  ofc  she  inherited  her  mother’s  beauty  (  i  hc  marcia  looks  like  alessandra  ambrosio  bc  hello !  )  &  little  sofie  lived  a  happy  early  childhood  life  in  her  grandparents’  home  in  recife.

         brazil  isn’t  the  safest  of  countries  &  marcia  didn’t  want  the  same  dangers  she  experienced  growing  up  for  her  young  daughter  ,  so  around  sofie’s  eighth  birthday  ,  her  &  her  mother  packed  up  and  went  on  a  ‘ trip  ’  to  new  york  city  .  joke’s  on  sofie  ,  though  -  it  wasn’t  actually  a  trip  ,  but  rly  they  were  trying  to  move  there  to  find  sofie’s  father  to  confirm  his  paternity  and  get  sofie  american  citizenship  .  it  was  proving  more  difficult  than  she  thought  ,  &  marcia  was  quickly  running  out  of  money  .  with  a  face  like  hers  ,  though  ,  making  money  wasn’t  too  difficult  ,  but  it  was  time  consuming  .  marcia  found  herself  escorting  older  men  in  order  to  pay  the  bills  ,  all  the  while  leaving  little  sofie  to  fend  for  herself  .  some  of  her  earliest  memories  are  of  strange  men  in  their  tiny  apartment  &  sofie  trying  to  block  out  their  conversations  with  her  lil  cassette  player  hiding  in  the  corner  of  her  room  .  eventually  ,  marcia  was  able  to  contact  the  father  &  they  set  up  a  meeting  .  sofie  had  gotten  her  hopes  up  that  she  would  finally  have  a  dad  (  she  got  dressed  up  in  her  sunday  best  &  everything  bc  reuniting  her  dad  was  a  BIG  deal  ) ,  but  the  meeting  ended  up  being  a  quick  exchange  of  words  ,  a  mouth  swab  and  a  couple  signatures  .  sofie  never  even  learned  his  name  ,  & this  queued  up  a  lifetime  of  daddy  issues  &  distrust  of  men  !!

        while  marcia  was  able  to  stay  in  america  much  longer  than  she  was  legally  supposed  to  ,  eventually  she  was  facing  deportation  ,  which  meant  lil  sofie  ,  with  her  citizenship  finally  confirmed  ,  was  put  into  the  hands  of  her  father  who  sent  off  to  an  american  boarding  school  in  new  york  without  even  contacting  her  .  she  would  spend  the  summers  in  brazil  with  her  mother  or  ,  as  she  got  older  ,  couch - surfing  with  different  friends  throughout  the  months  .  she  started  growing  apart  from  her  mother  as  she  aged  since  she  wasn’t  going  home  every  summer  since  she  didn’t  rly  feel  any  connection  to  brazil  .  her  grandfather  had  passed  away  &  she  only  has  faint  memories  grandmother  ,  plus  the  city  wasn’t  at  all  familiar  to  her  &  she  wasn’t  practicing  her  portuguese  after  her  mother  returned  to  brazil  .

         through  it  all  ,  music  was  proving  to  be  the  one  constant  in  her  life  she  could  use  to  escape  from  reality  .  she  had  never  done  any  training  or  classes  ,  but  she  just  liked  singing  along  to  whatever  was  on  the  radio  & practicing  on  her  own  .  she  also  found  a  passion  for  writing  poetry  which  she  later  would  realize  was  compatible  with  music  .  she  would  spend  HOURS  in  the  school  library  working  on  garage  band  lmfao  bc  she  couldn’t  afford  her  own  laptop  to  produce  music  &  her  dad  sent  just  enough  money  as  he  was  legally  supposed  to  .  but  she  worked  her  lil  tushy  off  &  applied  to  a  music  academy  in  nyc  &  was  rejected  the  first  year  (  DEVASTATING  when  mixed  with  her  impostor  syndrome  &  daddy  issues ) but  she  practiced  more  &  more  &  edned  up  getting  accepted  the  next  year  .  here  ,  she  worked  on  her  vocal  skills  &  music  production  ,  &  started  accumulating  her  own  music  &  selling  songs  to  music  producers  on  the  side  for  some  ca$h  money  .  

          by  the  time  she  was  16  the  state  decided  she  was  old  /  mature  enough  to  live  on  her  own  so  she  got  a  TINY  lil  studio  apartment  in  harlem  where  she’d  grown  up  with  her  mum  &  she  had  friends  who  she’d  grown  up  with  .  while  it  wasn’t  the  safest  neighbourhood  statistically  sofie  felt  safe  &  just  like  one  of  the  neighbourhood  kids  .  it  was  the  first  time  she  genuinely  felt  like  she  belonged .

        she  was  accepted  on  full  scholarship  to  nyu  & majored  in  music  composition  &  vocal  performance  where  she  started  finally  feeling  secure  in  herself  &  released  her  own  music  on  soundcloud  ,  quickly  amassing  a  following  &  becoming  an  ‘ up  &  coming ‘  artist  !!  she  was  contacted  by  a  scooter  braun  type  guy  who  was  interested  in  taking  her  on  under  his  management  so  she  dropped  out  of  uni  in  her  2nd  year  (  bc  tbh  her  grades  in  anything  other  than  her  music  classes  were  v  subpar  )  .  soon  enough  producers  wanted  to  work  with  her  &  she  was  making  enough  that  she  didn’t  have  to  sell  her  songs  which  she  hated  doing  but  had  to  pay  the  bills  u  know  .  oh  &  her  vc  is  billie  eilish  bc  ofc  shes  my  queen  go  stream  when  we  all  fall  asleep  where  do  we  go  on  spotify  u  won’t  be  disappointed  

        she  also  started  getting  into  the  partying  scene  here  yikes  !! it  was  a  method  for  her  to  numb  all  her  pain  from  her  past  &  impostor  syndrome  &  drown  all  that  out  in  pills  or  tequila  .  it  rly  wasn’t  healthy  bc  of  how  she  would  binge  for  a  weekend  then  try  to  stay  sober  throughout  the  week  but  failing  by  about  wednesday when  she  started  to  feel  hollow  .  she  wasn’t  gonna  be  a  one  hit  wonder  &  her  mom  sure   as  hell  didn’t  go  through  all  that  trouble  just  for  sofie  to  be  a  nobody  addict  !! so  she  kept  it  together  enough  to  start  making big  bucks  & well  …….  here  she  is  :~)

personality

        sofie  blames  it  on  her  brazilian  heritage  but  this  bitch  loves  a  party  !!  like  shes  the  one  who  gets  happy drunk  at  the  pre  then  is  the  first  on  the  dance  floor  then  later  falls  out  of  the  club  &  into  some  rando’s  bed !!  in  the  back  of  her  mind  she  knows  her  drug  &  alcohol  use  is  self - destructive  but  she  figures  shes  allowed  to  let  loose  sometimes (  even  if  that  ends  up  being  most  nights  )  ;  rly  she’s  just  in  denial  bc  she  doesn’t  want  to  change  her  ways  &  lose  her  identity  !!

        doesn’t  put  labels  on  her  gender  identity  or  sexual orientation  .  she  finds  them  restrictive  &  useless  for  herself  ,  labels  would  only  be  to  satisfy  others  .  she  doesn’t  see  herself  as  110%  female  either  like  she’s  all about  gender  being  a  social  construct  /  a  spectrum  ;  some  days  she’ll  get  dolled  up  &  wear  heavy  makeup  &  six  inch  heels  ,  some  days  she’ll  walk  around  in  a  bun  &  tracksuit  &  trainers  .  anyone  who  asks  abt  it  will  swiftly  get  2  middle  fingers  in  their  face  !! shes  uncontrollable  i  swear

         puts  up  a  tough  bad - ass  front  like  billie  does aksjdh  like  nah  nothing  can  hurt  me  im  bulletproof  !!  but  is  rly  just  kinda  broken  underneath  .  she  doesn’t  even  let  her  closest  friends  know  how  hurting  she  is  bc  she  doesn’t  wanna  burden  them  .  she  rly  uses  mmusic  as  an  outlet  tho  so  she’ll  act  totally  tough  then   go  to  the  studio  &  record  all  about  her  heartache  .  will  NEVER  let  someone  see  her  cry  no  matter  how  close  she  is  with  them  .  she  rly  sees  it  as  a  sign  of  weakness  &  shes  in  a  much  better  place  than  she  was  5  years  ago  so  she  figures  she’s  not  ALLOWED  to  feel  anything  but  grateful  .  

         this  bitch  overthinks  everything  !! half  the  time  she  isn’t  rly  listenning  to  whoever  bc  she’s  thinking  about  what  they  just  said  &  if  they’re  mad  with  her  .  she’s  that  friend  who  will  ask  u  to  come  over  to  formulate  the  perfect  text  response  &   fuss  over  it  for  hours  .  that  being  said  ,  if  someone  talks  shit  abt  anyone  shes  tight  with  ,  they’re  gonna  get  it  the  next  time   she  sees  them  .  she  isn’t  about  violence  &  would  never  get  into  a  physical  fight  ,  but  she’d  work  behind  the  scenes  to  ruin  their  life  .  but  then  she  pretends  like  she  rly  doesn’t  care  though  its  obvious  to  those  close  to  her  that  she  cares  way  too  much

has  a  very  hard  time  expressing  love  bc  she  didn’t  have  much  practice  w  it  growing  up  .  she  was  on  her  own  most  of  her  young  life  so  even  if  her  mom  would  tell  her   te  amo  she  would  be  like  uh  huh  gtg  bye !!  

tldr ;  poor  bitch  w  abandonment  issues  who  was  able  to  get  out  of  it  by  channeling  her  energy  into  music  &  numbing  the  stress  with  pills  or  alcohol  which  she  def  still overuses  but  she  doesn’t  think its  a  problem  !! yikeroony  !!  loves  partying  & having  a  good  time  ,  puts  up  a  tough  front  but  is  rly  soft  underneath  .

wanted (* = mw)

friends  from  high  school  !! -  people  sof  stayed  with  in  the  summer  bc  she  wasn’t  going  home  to  brazil  .  

friends  from  music  school  !!  -  she  def  felt  like  an  outsider  among  the  music  prodigies  at  this  school  ,  &  maybe  this  person  was  one  of  the  ppl  she  actually  connected  with  . 

come  out  &  play  !!  this  person  acts  as  a  good  influence  to  sofie  .  they’re  level - headed  &  very  grounding  ,  &  sofie  doesn’t  let  it  show  but  they’re  really  important  to  her  .  this  is  the  Softest  billie  song  (  prob  bc  it  was  for  an  ad skdj )  &  they  inspired  it  bc  it’s  how  she  feels  when  shes with  them  .  they  encourage  her  to  be  all  that  she  can  be  &  they  believe  in  her  ,  &  they’re  prob  the  one  person  sofie  trusts  the  most  which  is  SAYING  something  !!

*exes  on  bad  terms  !!  -   ok  this  would  basically  be  based  on  all  the  songs  billie  has  about  a  failed  relationship  /  heartbreak  !! shes  got  a  bunch  .  im  thnking  maybe  she  was  actually  rly  into  them  but  had  a  hard  time  expressing  it  bc  she’s never  been  good  with  emotional  expression  ,  &  it  led  to  the  relationship  feeling ?? unfaithful  /  disconnected  ??  idk  but  she  rly  loved  them  &  is  still  nursing  that  heartbreak  .  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

the  paris  to  her  nicole  !!  -  ok  i  f*cking  hate  that  i  said  this  but  she’s  nicole  richie  its  true  !! she  needs  a  messy  gal  pal  exactly  like  how  paris  &  nicole  are  i  stan  them  (  x  ,  x  ,  x  )

roommate  !!  -  bc  of  her  abandonment  issues  she  rly  doesn’t  like  living  alone  so  prob  is  the  roomie  who  will  sleep  in  their  bed  from  time  to  time  bc  she  doesn’t  like  being  totally  alone  .  

*when  the  party’s  over  !!  - these  two have  been  hooking  up  for  a  while  no  strings  attached  but  recently  feelings  have  been  caught  !! &  now  they  still  hook  up  quite  often  but  sofie’s  kinda  harboring  feelings &  pretending  all  is  well  but  she  rly  hopes  they’ll  just  stay  the  night  from  time  to  time  ,  &  gets  secretly  heartbroken  when  she  sees  them  flirting  or  leaving  with  someone  else  . they  can  also  have  feelings  if  u  want  that  angst :~)

fwb  !!  -  sofie  is  pretty  transparent  when  it  comes  to  what  she  wants  &  she’s  got  a  bad  habit  of  replacing  dealing  with  problems  with  getting  laid  !! like  u  know  in  movies  when  the  man  opens  his  wallet  and  a  row  of  like  20  pictures  of  different  women  fall  out  ??  that’s  sof’s  aesthetic  .  she’s  got  a  bunch  of  fwb  of  all  genders  so  bring  me  some  pls

***mutual  dislike  /  copycat  !!  self - explanatory  ,  sofie  thinks  this  person  is  copying  her  in  everything  she  does  &  thinks  its  annoying  af  so  she  wrote  a  song  abt  it  &  hopes  they  indirectly  get  the  message  even  if  she  drops  not  so  subtle  hints  .  skfldjh  itd  be  messy  pls !!

party  buddies  !!  -  someone  who  encourages  sofies  wild  ways  .  when  the  two  get  together  its  usually  to  get  drunk  or  high  &  thats  the  way  they  like  it  .  sofie  doesn’t  feel  judged  by  them  as  she  does  by  others  who  don’t  get  obliterated  at  every  social  event  (  what  an  idea  !!  )  so  she  rly  values  them  ,  even  if  she  doesn’t  express  it

 ** 8 !! - someone  who  kinda  reluctantly  got  into  a  relationship  with  sofie  out  of  maybe  a  desire  to  save  her  from  herself  ??  like  u  know  that  good  girl  bad  boy  trope  where  the  girl  tries  to  save  the  boy  from  whatever  he’s  struggling  with  ?  that’s  them  but  the  roles  are  just  reversed  -  good  guy  ,  bad  girl  .  it  was  kinda  just  filled  w  her  being  self - destructive  &  confiding  in  him  but  not  rly  reciprocating  the  care  so  he  became  kinda  distant  bc  of  it  .  tbh  she  prob  knew  he  was  too  good  for  her  but  had  a sliver  of  hope  he  wouldn’t  leave  her  even  tho  eventually  she  became  too  much  for  him  .  (  lyrics : you said, "don't treat me badly", but you said it so sadly, so I did the best I could, not thinkin' you would have left me gladly. i know you're not sorry, why should you be? 'cause who am I to be in love, when your love never is for me?” )

good influence  !! this  person  can  tell  that  her  beahvior  is  unhealthy  &  are  trying  to  gently  nudge  her  abt  it  .  she  can  tell  what  they’re  doing  but  her  addict  brain  is  telling  her  its  invasive  &  threatening  so  shes  not  the  fondest  of  this  person  ,  but  deep  down  she  really  appreciates  them

music buddies !! these  two  are  both  in  the  music  industry  &  rather  than  it  being  competitive  ,  they’ve  developed  a  friendship  from  it  & enjoy  working  together  .  

* someone  sofie  ghostwrites  for  !! for  whatever  reason  ,  this  muse  doesn’t  write  their  own  songs  & instead  pays  sofie  to  write  them  for  them  .  she  doesn’t  love  it  but  its  a  way  to  make  money  &  give  away  songs  she  doesn’t  feel  attached  to  but  are  worth  something  .  maybe  its  tense  bc  they  claim  the  songs  as  their  own  &  sofie  doesn’t  like  it  ,  this  could  be  ~escandolo~  later  !!

*** my boy ( high school bf ) !! - ok  tea  this  song  is  the  one  that  broke  her  into  the  industry  .  she  produced  it  all  herself  &  just  relased  it  to  her  soundcloud  thinking  it  wouldn’t  rly  go  anyway  but  !!  joke’s  on  yung sofie  .  essentially  he  thought  the  relationship  was  going  well  ,  she’d  met  his  family  &  they  rly  liked  her  but  !! sof  was  feeling  kinda  smothered  &  told  herself  he  was  lying &  cheating  on  her  n  shit  so  she  wrote  a  song  about  it  !! &  once  it  was  starting  to  get  attention  he  was  like  ….. uhhh  what  the  fuck  & she  was  like  haha  sorry  !! so  they  broke  up  &  ever  since  its  been  animosity ,  but  she  realizes  she  fucked  up  but  it  launched  her  career  so  she  doesn’t  know  whether  to  keep  up  the  idgaf  i  hurt  you  or  apologize  .  

* ex - friends  !!  ok  pls  i  have  this  hc  where  sofie  got  way  too  high  one  night  &  slept  with  this  person’s  dad  or  sibling  or  smth !!  u  know  that  line  in  ‘ bad guy ’  where  she  goes  ‘ might  seduce  your  dad  type  ? ’  ya  that’s  got  sofie  written  ALL  over  it  !!   &  now  they’re  not  friends  bc  sofie  can’t  keep  it  in  her  pants  but  both  sides  kinda  misses  the  other  but  are  too  stubborn  to  say  anything  :~(

exes from college / high school  !!  - ok honestly i just love all the exes plots . gimme someone who like maybe they were hooking up & decided to give it a shot dating & it worked for a while but ultimately fell apart bc of sof’s inability to open up. maybe theres still tension or maybe theyre friends now !!

* lovely  !!  -  i  need  a  male  voice  for  khalid’s  part  in  lovely  bc  i  need  this  song  in  my  life  bc  its  a  whole  ass   sofie  mood  ok  .  

i’ve  also  got  a  wanted  connections  tag  linked  HERE  dksfj there's  not  much  in  it  yet  but  feel  free  to  check  it  out  .  ok  i  love  y'all  

[fuck-customers]

Retail has made me dangerously bitter. 1) in 2 days someone has ripped 3 different bday party bags off the wall, rack included and left them all over the ground. The party section is gonna be the end of me the floor is always covered with peoples bags they grow everywhere. I’m starting to hate humanity there’s no morals or decency in this store bc its a dollar shop where everything’s cheap 2) someone ripped open a styrofoam airplane AND BUILT IT AND LEFT IT? Why? How do u have that much time lmfao 3) customers leave their baskets on the freaking conveyor belt blocking me from ringing the next person up. Or where I put the bags!! It drives me nuts having to pick up after lazy grown ass adults! I’ve even pushed one back at one lady, like no, don’t fucking leave this here and she still left it. I have to stop everything I’m doing to move it. 4) guy says something like: how are you not understanding this is on sale! He was angry, it made me angry so I said back in the same tone; I DO understand it’s not MY FAULT the computer is messing up! He messed my mood up and this lady could tell and she tried to make me feel better which I really really appreciated. Like I’m getting passive aggressive back with people, it’s so hard to not be slightly rude back to them. 5) some nasty lady came in, tried to exchange without receipt. She calls ME out for not giving her one and describes me down to my black fingernail polish which really disturbed me tbh. I always give receipts. So she either walked away without it or lost it. Either way, I’m so mad about it, trying to get me fired to my manager! (Thankfully he took care of it) 6) I have bad hearing and most of my customers have thick accents. I feel so dumb bc I can barely understand them.i wish I could but I can’t hear anyone anyways (no seriously, I’m getting my hearing checked) Hope this isn’t too long sorry props to u guys who have worked in retail for so long it’s only been 6 mo