#i blame it 100% on my disabilities

[rudeflower]

I am constantly getting the GG walmart ad and I want to believe it's because the algorithm knows I'm a GG girlie but the real reason is I am a Walmart girlie

Ya girl is a Walmart plus member whoops!!!

[philsmeatylegss]

Couples who are considering having kids ask yourself if you’re willing and have the physical, financial, and emotional capacity to care for a profoundly disabled child before getting pregnant challenge

[pagankingfinn]

Today's disability mood, I'm crying because I've been completely isolated from any human interaction beyond my phone screen and family. I haven't seen anyone or hung out with anyone in person in several months, and now because my condition has gotten worse I'm pretty much housebound because I can't take the neb with me and won't have a safe and sterile (enough) space to use my medication. My closest friends are an hour to two hour drive away, and my closest family two to three or four hours away. I don't have my medication yet because Medicaid requires prior authorization and is now dragging their ass that they have the authorization to cover the medicine I need to breathe when my inhaler isn't enough.

[qweerhet]

really gets my goat when people weaponize gender politics against disabled people. every time someone blames a disabled man (or person read as a man) for lashing out violently against their female caretaker and refers to it as "male violence" i lose 200 years off my life.

we live in a society where "caretaker" is a role that gives you absolute power over the disabled person in your care; quite frankly i think it's actively malicious to try to apply the concept of gendered violence in a way that posits the disabled person as the agent of violence and oppression in that situation. someone who has 100% control over you is, factually, in a position of absolute power over you; lashing out violently against people in absolute power over you is an inevitability.

i don't think there's a rhetorical way for me to get through to these people; they operate on the idea that maintaining the disabled as a powerless underclass is righteous and necessary, and that their powerlessness is inherent to their existence, not a socially constructed hierarchy. that's why they believe this is a robust feminist analysis of the power dynamics here--in this lens, the patriarchy is a socially constructed hierarchy that must be abolished (correct, tbc), but the caretaker-disabled relationship is just and inherent to the existence of disabled people, and thus cannot be a relevant axis of oppression.

but like. damn. really sucks to see feminism weaponized in such a directly dangerous, violent manner.

[chrisevansonly]

𝐦𝐨𝐦 & 𝐝𝐚𝐝 𝐩𝐭3 | 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐨

✯social media au

✯daniel ricciardo x female reader

✯mom and dad are back at it again…oh yeah and we can’t forget lando too

✯just a little pt3 for mom & dad!! i’ve really loved this little series i think it’s kinda cute🥹🫶🏻

part 1 part 2

ynricciardo

liked by danielricciardo, lilyhme, landonorris and 765,000 others

Mila is with her favourite person in the world today which means mom and dad get to go on a date to celebrate 7 years together, i love you danny thank you for filling Mila and I’s life with so much love, laughter and sunshine, here’s to forever❤️

tagged danielricciardo

see 89,000 comments

username happy anniversary to my parents!!!

username our favourites!!!

username danny + y/n forever!

redbullracing congrats to our favorite couple!❤️

landonorris enjoy your anniversary!!

>ynricciardo pls send more Mila photos shes so cute🥹

>landonorris on it!! we’re having lots of fun♥️

username lando and mila hanging out pls

danielricciardo happy anniversary my love, i love you and mila so much

>ynricciardo🥹♥️

landonorris added to their story

*comments disabled*

danielricciardo

liked by scottyjames31, redbullracing, ynricciardo and 1M others

happy anniversary to my world, thank you for bringing Mila into our lives and for loving me, even when i miss the laundry hamper 50% of the time, here’s to many more♥️

tagged ynricciardo

see 105,000 comments

username HAHAHAHA 50% of the time😭

username my parents 4 LIFE

ynricciardo more like 100% of the time babe nice try🙃

ynricciardo i love you so much though❤️❤️

liked by danielricciardo

username y/n came to correct her man as she should

maxverstappen1 happy anniversary!! 💙

liked by danielricciardo and ynricciardo

landonorris

liked by quadrant, ynricciardo, mclaren and 2M others

just doing my duties with my favourite ricciardo❤️

tagged ynricciardo and danielricciardo

see 145,000 comments

username godfather lando in action

username omg these are so sweet🥹

username LANDO AND MILA SUPREMACY

ynricciardo lando these are so cute, she really loves you, thank you for taking such amazing care of her and making her so happy🩷

>landonorris always mom🫶🏻

>carlossainz55 hand me some tissues pls

username lando still calling y/n mom😭

danielricciardo mila makes these photos cute fyi

>landonorris well obviously 🙄

mclaren our favourite little future mclaren racer!!

>ynricciardo no racing.

>mclaren yes ma’am 😅

ynricciardo

liked by landonorris, wagsoff1, danielricciardo and 1M others

baby ricciardo #2 is on the way!! i couldn’t wait any longer to share the news, i blame danny’s smile for this. of course we caught lando’s reaction once again to the news, safe to say he was shocked, we’re just one big happy family 🩷

yes lando is in this family daniel 😁

tagged danielricciardo

see 300,000 comments

username IM SO HAPPY OMG I CANT

username another baby😭😭😭

charles_leclerc congratulations! can i join this family too?

>danielricciardo no

>ynricciardo yes!! ignore daniel!

landonorris i’m kinda scared for this

landonorris jk very excited for you two 🫶🏻

landonorris also take that ricciardo😁

>danielricciardo i’ll change the locks.

>ynricciardo oh you will?

>danielricciardo…..

username yay congrats you two!!!

landonorris added to their story

ynricciardo

liked by francisca.cgomes, danielricciardo, redbullracing and 1M others

same tree one year apart, feeling so lucky to be here growing another little tiny human, mila, your dad and I cannot wait to meet you🤍

see 99,000 others

username y/n you look stunning

redbullracing congratulations to mom & dad of the track!❤️

username mama of two!!!

>username you mean 3 including lando…

>username HAHAHHA

landonorris i can’t wait either!! two terrors let’s go!

>danielricciardo just wait till we send both of them to your house

>landonorris mate, im ready 🫡

username im sorry but lando’s relationship with them is too precious ☹️

francisca.cgomes yay!! can’t wait to meet baby ricc #2!!

liked by ynricciardo

[sn0wp1anets]

i think we should talk about the 100 hours hardcore more like that is peak content !!

joel and scar being there, pvp specifically being disabled so joel and grian cant kill each other, scar taking the enchantment table, grian talking abt scar dying in hermitcraft alot as if he isnt the one killing scar all the time, scars insanely dangerous base, joel's hey scar farm, grian dying, the whole episode with jimmy, joel blaming jimmy for grians death and when jimmy tried to protest this joel attacked him and then jimmy started calling him sir?? like peak comedy. lizzie's death when she fought the wither, grian's moustache, killing scott and bigb with those minigames for literally zero good reason, scar stealing grians helmet then dying immediately, the whole finale episode, 'we should make out', JOEL BLOWING HIMSELF UP W THE MINECART.

like this is literally one of my favourite series please can we talk about it more.

[l-na]

local guy gets fucked over by UPS and needs to pay rent

hi. my names luna. im a physically disabled low-income schizo blasian that needs help.

i just sold something big and important of mine to pay rent, but my local ups fucking obliterated it. ebay is demanding i send back the money, but if i do i wont have enough for rent and utils. or transportation.

im suing UPS right now as we speak, and that costed about $100 all together. i cant afford this shit, i needed this money so bad and of course ups was incompetent and blamed it all on me (they even lied and said i was the one who packaged it)

this has been super stressful and ive had to go back on propranolol to deal with my heart palpitations. i really cant handle yet another financial burden on top of rent, trying to get on disability ssi, etc. etc. oh yeah and the stress from this gave me an actual fucking seizure LOL???

i was this close to being financially stable, and now this is coming to fuck me over right before im going to move, bc rent is outrageously expensive next month. please help me.

^this one is my girlfriend's paypal because i no longer have a paypal. cashapp is preferred

thank you for reading, please boost even if you cant donate. every donation helps!

[cupcraft]

This you can rb.

One thing I also wanted to say is I don't think some people in this fandom really understand how harmful it is to platform abusers/to defend them/to make claims how victims should act. It's been unsafe in mcytblr since the dream allegations. 100%. I remember the names of every person that said awful awful vile shit and to my knowledge they still do (though I've stopped checking by a long shot now. It wasn't healthy for me to see if people would change their mind or apologize).

There are many people in mcytblr, in any space really, that are victims. Victims read that shit you say, victims internalize that shit you say, victims remember the shit you say. Victims will not come forward because of the things you say. Victims lose trust and support networks because of the things you say. Your internet behavior has consequences and very real and very dangerous harm. I don't care if your fav "turned out to be innocent" (and in a lot of cases, that's not true actually but that isn't the point of my post). The things you said that were victim blaming still hurt people. It still hurts people now.

And so with the Shubble stuff, when I see like long twitter threads proving Wilbur's innocence. When I see replies on Stellae's posts about Illumina/stu picking apart her story. When I see the way people judge victims on how they behave and call them irrational/reckless/irresponsible/lying because X behavior. When I see people forcing victims to divulge their abuse and still harm them because they didn't bring up critique of abusers in the "right way" (thinking about Niki). When people ask victims to bare the responsibility for abusers instead of others around them (and instead of the actual accused abuser) (thinking of how people treated tubbo during the drm allegations when he is a grooming victim himself). When I see people be ablelist as a means of defending abusers, not realizing there are many of us victims who are disabled too, and there are many disabled people who are harmed by abelism like that. When I see this stuff I feel unsafe. When I see this stuff I know exactly what kind of person you are, to put your comfortability above all else. To put your fav above victims. To treat victims as drama/things you can doxx and pull apart and for entertainment. It's sick.

Mcyt as a fandom needs to do better. It always has but especially now. This is a plea to do better. To learn how to be compassionate. To think about more than yourself.

[vicetrevni]

If you believe *anything* seen on r/FakeDisorderCringe, just block me.

I am going through that horrible sub again, and the ignorance makes me want to tear my hair out in frustration. Just people thinking they 'know better' than those who were diagnosed with these disabilities/disorders, denying self-diagnosis entirely, and (yet again) solely blaming TikTok for the 'disorder epidemic'. Nothing about it has changed - if anything, it's gotten *worse*.

If we lived in a world where healthcare and getting a diagnosis was safe/accessible to everyone, then this sub would have a valid point in existing. And I get it, there might be *some* cases where a person is 'faking'. But these asshats have no right to just take screenshots of a video/post, then post it on the subreddit saying this person is doing 'ragebait' for attention. Because there is no way to 100% tell what that person is actually going through, unless you can magically go into their head/body directly (even then they have no right to speak for another individual or their disabilites/disorders).

It's like they expect the disabled to be *silent*. And the moment we speak up, suddenly they latch on like parasites to suck the life out of us until we give up entirely. It's disgusting. And every time I see these kinds of posts, just going after any disabled person on the internet for talking about their issues and invalidating them every step of the way, I want to *scream* so loud and punch a wall.

If you suspect someone 'faking', then fine. Get them help. But if you are just going to stand there with a Surprised Pikachu Face the entire time, you are not a person I want to be around *ever*. We are not going to 'grow out of' our issues, you are the ones who need to grow up and get on with your lives because you are causing him to those who are genuinely going through these things. It's not worth it to be 'correct', just leave us alone because we have enough to deal with outside of your ignorance getting in the way.

Again, if you believe r/FakeDisorderCringe is a 'reliable source' to find 'fakers', get the hell off my page and block me. Because if I find out on my own, I'm gonna block you myself. And I'm gonna be *pissed*.

[agblack]

My Desired Realities (Part 1/???)

Just because I'm bored and wanted to talk about my Desired Realities, and I have several, I decided to write a few informations about each of them. Nothing as extensive as I did before, and maybe I'll give more details later. And they're not in any particular order. As usual, I try to keep things as close to canon as possible. Enjoy ^^

Marvel Cinematic Universe

I think I'm a bit OP here, but can anyone blame me?

♠ Name: Axel (the name I use); Alma ben Rei (my birth name) ♠ Age: Around 100 years younger than Loki

♠ S/O: I didn't script an S/O to this reality. However, I did script that I find someone I love deeply and who loves me back just as much.

♠ Species: Auterian (Auter was a planet that got destroyed long ago, Superman style. Auterian people have lifespan and physical capabilities similar to Asgardians, are immune to mental control or manipulation of any kind. Also, Auterians can breathe in space and heal others, though healing consumes energy according to the intensity of the wound) ♠ The Gems: Some Auterians can attune themselves to special Gems, that give them powers, and once attuned the Gem belongs to said Auterian for life. Usually an Auterian only attune with one gem, with few people being able to attune with 2 or 3. Stories say that someone once got 5. But with the species near extinction, things changed. Those Gems are heavily inspired by the Djinn from the anime Magi: Labyrinth of Magic. Being attuned to a gem is enough to have access to some of its powers, and more than one gem works simultaneously, but to truly use a Gem's power it's needed to enter it's Equip mode. The Equip mode is like a full transformation, that happens instantly, and changes clothes and appearance of the Gem's wielder. Going into the Equip mode disables the other Gems. Using a Gem's power drains energy, like any exercise would, but the more someone knows a Gem, less energy is drained and more complex things can be done for longer periods. ♠ Powers: My powers are based on the Gems that Auterians can attune to. In my case, there are 10 in total:

Focalors: Wind based Gem, allow myself to fly or control the winds. This one was with me when I was sent to Asgard, and is the one I have more control of. Odin doesn't like my use of Focalors now after an event occurred on Midgard the last time we went there.

Barbatos: Strength based Gem, give me superior strength, speed and combat abilities in general. This one I found in Asgard years ago, and I have a great grasp on how to control it. The Equipe mode comes with a spear.

Dantalion: Portal based Gem. With only the Gem, I can control small things with my mind and levitate. In the Equip mode I can create portals between two points in space; the size and distance between the two points dictates the complexity of the task. I found this Gem on Earth, in possession of Jane Foster (the events of Thor, right after I shift to this reality for the first time). I had to use the powers of this Gem to come back to Earth after Loki sent me to Jotunheim during the events of Avengers.

Agares: Earth based Gem, relying on brute force. The Equip mode resembles a golem. Not my favorite. Found this one in Jotunheim after Loki sent me there to not overthrow his plans.

Vinea: Water based Gem. Comes with a Trident in Equip mode. Found in Vanaheim before the events of Thor: Dark World.

Zepar: Sound based Gem. Found in Svartalfheim during the events of Thor: Dark World.

Astaroth: Fire based Gem, with white flames and dragon motifs. Found in Muspelheim during the events of Thor: Ragnarök.

Valefor: Ice based Gem, the Equip mode resembles a kitsune. Found in Niflheim during the events of Thor: Ragnarök.

Baal: Lightning based Gem. Found in Nidavellir during the events of Avengers: Infinity War.

Zagan: Plant based Gem. Equip mode comes with a whip. Found in Alfheim before the events of Avengers: Endgame.

♠ Brief History (SPOILERS): I got sent away from Auter before the destruction, still a newborn, and ended up in Asgard, where I was raised by Odin and Frigga alongside Thor and Loki. I shift there for the first time a bit before the events of the Thor movie, and I'm on Earth in search for the Gem I can sense on the planet. Pietro don't die (avoided). Tony don't die (use of Auterian healing powers that send us both into a week long coma, but nothing serious happens). I don't vanish during the Blip. I become a part of the Avengers.

Once Upon a Time

♠ Name: Adrian Jones (aka Tempest)

♠ Age: 22

♠ S/O: Not sure if I want an S/O in this reality, so I'm leaving it to the universe to decide.

♠ Brief History: I'm Killian's younger brother, and his second in command at the Jolly Roger. I learned magic from Peter Pan, and I kept developing it after we took different paths, and now I'm just as strong as him, maybe more. For some reason the rule "All magic comes with a price" don't apply to me. I'm specialized in wind and water magic, as they help when sailing, but I’m almost as good in the other kinds as well. I also have a natural connection to sea creatures. My reputation precedes me for my mean side. People who heard about me heard about “the vicious and cruel quartermaster of the Jolly Roger”. I’m not a bad person though, acting like that just with people who really wronged me. I’m a natural acrobat, being able to jump through the ropes from the ship without difficulty and having perfect balance. The first time I shift there, I wake up at the Jolly Roger just after the First Curse is broken.

One Piece

♠ Name: Portgas D. Kenji (alias: The Devil)

♠ Age: 18

♠ S/O: Zoro

♠ Devil Fruit: Devil Devil Fruit: Model Hellfire. A mythical Zoan fruit that makes me able to become a devil, or a devil-human hybrid. I get more stamina, strength and speed on the hybrid form, and even more on the devil form. I also get wings, claws and a tail in both form, though in the devil form they look more monstrous. I also can control Hellfire, a white-blueish kind of fire that can burn anywhere, and can be cold as ice or hot as magma. Besides all that, I have extreme healing capabilities, being able to even regrow limbs if needed. I never feel cold or hot, since my body is able to regulate its temperature all the time. For now, going into full devil form for too long make me lose control (like Chopper and his Monster Form). This fruit was a myth, a thing from legends, since the last user was someone ages before Gold Roger.

♠ Brief History: I'm Ace's twin brother. I left with Ace to the sea, though we went separate ways. I found the fruit on an island, before finding the Revolutionary Army and joining their ranks. I make myself part of the Straw Hat crew as they're escaping Loguetown. The Marine doesn't go after the crew more than normal after knowing I’m related to Roger. All ships have plumbing and warm water, using the sea water and filters. The first time I shift there, I'm at Loguetown, and it's the morning the Straw Hats arrive there.

Twilight

♠ Name: Axel Logan Hale

♠ Age: 18 when turned

♠ S/O: Liam, a guy who is part of the wolf pack. Imprinting is a thing, but heavily modified from canon (as in the guy actually has control over his actions and never happens with children, for starters). However Imprinting still changes the wolf's body, in a way, so Liam's scent no longer is bad for vampires, and vampire scent is not bad to him.

♠ Species: Vampire.

♠ Powers: Ice creation and control. This also make my metabolism super slow, so I have to feed less frequently and never tasted human blood, ever.

♠ Brief History: I'm Rosalie's twin brother. While she was the perfect daughter to our parents, I was kind of neglected by them, like a black sheep or something. I got turned a while after she did, by Carlisle - I was confronting Royce about where she was since she just disappeared when she arrived to end him and she threw me to a wall with more force than she should. While Rose hates this new life, I like it. I hated Edward at first, because of his ability to read my thoughts, but now he's my best friend. I shift there the first time a day before Bella's arrival in Forks.

♠ Curiosity: I may write a fic about this (just have to go through writer's block and procrastination)

The Magicians

♠ Name: Axel Hawthorne

♠ Age: 25

♠ S/O: Eliot. Or Quentin. Or both. Who knows what expects me there.

♠ Powers: My Discipline is Aeromancy, so I'm at the Physical Kid's Cottage as well.

♠ Brief History: When I arrived at Brakebills, I tried to stay away from everyone, but neither Eliot nor Margo were having any of that, and since we're on the same year they dragged me into their group, and somehow I let them. I'm also kind of a genius related to magic, and the idea is to become a professor at Brakebills eventually. I first shift there a few days before Quentin's arrival.

[dreamdolldiary]

a very very important reminder to myself and anyone who can relate:

whenever i'm going through a very low depressive episode after being high function, autopilot mode of constant studying, working, simply on top of everything for a while, i always think to myself:

but why can't i be like that again? why can't i be like everyone else who just goes to work? people have bills to pay and here i am skipping out on work and studying while everyone else is just "sucking it up and going" i thought my future mattered? does it not?

well honey, it does. your future does matter. but also the present matters as well so taking the time to care for yourself is 100% as important.

and guess what? you are not like everyone else. not even everyone else is like everyone else. being severely depressed and having it interfere with your work and school life is an effect of being disabled. it is a disability. it's not like you're making the conscious choice to be depressed and skip out on the important things in life. stop beating yourself up for being disabled. for being ill. for struggling with your illnesses.

i know it's hard to accept the typical "it's not your fault, you're okay" advice but sometimes it helps to remember that what you struggle with is a disability/illness and that dealing with it in anyway you do (unable to get our of bed, not being able to go to work or school) is not voluntary and it takes away some of the blame and guilty you carry.

[secondsonaym]

Ayo so what's going on

Hey so. No doubt you've noticed I am Not Really Doing Shit here anymore.

And. There's a lot of reasons for that.

Gonna put the bulk of it under the readmore, but I highly recommend you look it over, if you ever enjoyed the AU to any capacity.

The one I've talked to you guys about a loooot is that my disabilities (chronic fatigue+migraines) flared up pretty hard in the later half of the summer last year, and have been in constant flux following, only just recently having stabilized a little to the point I can be somewhat regularly productive.

But they're still disabilities, and they could pop back up at any point.

Another reason is simply that my focus has drifted elsewhere. I have ADHD, and experience fixations a lot, and while Cult of the Lamb was one of my longer ones, it's definitely started to wane (There's a mix of reasons why it is, but none I can really articulate without sounding like I'm blaming others, which I don't want to do)

So my mind has been drifting back to a more neutral state, letting myself enjoy other things without the constant feeling of "I should be writing the AU. I should be drawing the AU. I should be updating the AU."

And when in this neutral state, I've been letting my interests drift carefully back to my Original ideas and projects. As in. Stories and characters I made up with my own brain, separate of fandom.

Because while I love fandom, fandom can't exactly pay the bills unless your fork over your soul to it, and I don't really want to do that.

So I've been finally returning to my original story and large headworld, Court of Fools.

I want to make a game for it, I want to make things for the larger lore and worldbuilding, I want to share it with people. But I can't do that if I'm focusing on fandom work to the extent I did with the AU.

Would I like to have the AU in a sort of finished state where people aren't left with a billion questions? Well, sure. But it would be a lot of work still. There's still a LOT of story beats and details in my brain, but I just never got a good chance to get them out, and now the prime opportunity has passed.

I wouldn't say that means I'd leave this blog a wasteland, perhaps I'll come back with doodles and stuff now and then, but. I guess, basically, the AU likely isn't going to be touched in any large capacity for a while? Maybe if I can organize some sort of schedule, I could find a way to dripfeed more stuff back here, so I wouldn't say it's 100%, totally, for-sure, absolutely dead. It's just... Not my creative priority.

I would hope that through the AU, I have made you interested in my art and storytelling as a whole, because if you did enjoy those aspects, separate of the fact that it was a fandom work, then I would highly recommend you stick with me and see my work on Court of Fools and its larger world--It's my passion project, so I'll be giving it my absolute best all the way through, too.

Things have been silent on it for a while, primarily because of my fixation on Cult of the Lamb, so I'm really gearing up to get back to it.

My first plan is to make a smaller game, or games, set in the same world--something to get back into Ren'Py properly, practice implementing certain gameplay elements I want to have, and so on. I'll be sure to make a proper announcement on the relevant spaces when I do get into that more formally. Catch me on bluesky!

In the meantime, if you'd still like to be in my general sphere and see me create, I do still do adopts and stuff over on my ko-fi. For as little as $1 a month, you can see my concepts, preclaim adopts, and get monthly doodles, so please consider checking it out--I'm, currently trying to meet a goal for survivability, as my disabilities really destroyed my ability to do things the past few months.

Sooo, yeah. I think that's the bulk of what I wanted to say? In summary:

AU is going Super Dormant and you likely won't hear from me here without long stretches in between

I'm working on more original stories and projects, hopefully a game

You can find and support me on ko-fi, which will really help mitigate stress from not being able to do much last year

Really sorry if this disappoints or surprises you, though I'm fairly sure a lot of you saw this coming. So. Here's just a formal confirmation or whatever, I guess.

I'll catch you later!

[directactionforhope]

Actually, making a bunch of assumptions about someone based on how/when they sleep is ableist, and also often classist, and I'm respectfully serious about this, as someone officially diagnosed with a severe sleep disorder (not that I'm anti self-dx in any way but yes, I do have an official diagnosis and am in the range classified as "severe")

Because of my sleep disorder (and more recently one of my jobs), I work nights. Night shift jobs are almost - if not actually - exclusively working class jobs (though I'm not going to go into class issues because I feel far less qualified to speak on them).

But sleep habits are so, so conflated with morality, work ethic, and even competence and intelligence in mainstream US culture.

(I blame in large part the Puritans. Having a culture founded by the remnants of a strict and fundamentalist religious sect will do that to you.)

Things that people (including my clients and my coworkers), have done or assumed about me because of my sleep disorder:

Went to HR and told them I was skiving off at least two hours of work every single day (I wasn't, I was staying two to three hours late every single day to make up the hours, because I had an accommodation from my boss. I was almost always the one to lock up the office. I ended up in a meeting with HR who didn't even bother to check with my boss first and ask anything related to the literally abundant proof I was working late)

I later learned multiple people were talking about it behind my back, so for all I know like half my coworkers believed/suspected that about me

That I'm lazy

That I'm not in control of my life

That I'm disorganized

Kept forgetting/Refused to believe me that I just wasn't trying hard enough to keep a normal sleep schedule, until I found studies showing that trying to keep a ""normal"" sleep schedule with my level of severity had a 100% long-term failure rate

Required me to tell almost all of my repeat/regular clients details of my medical history to avoid them making a ton of assumptions when I send work messages/emails/project submissions at 4 in the morning (unfortunately several of the platforms I use professionally don't have any kind of message scheduling add-on or feature)

Lost out on jobs because I was unable to reply soon enough (this morning I may have literally missed out on an interview slot because I didn't reply to a message by the end of the workday)

Was unable to go to the bank/post office/grocery store/dmv/other time-sensitive errand for days at a time due to my sleep (and work) schedule during open hours

Real difficulty texting with new people because 2/3rds of my regular waking hours are considered a Loaded or Extremely Weird time to text someone, and sometimes spoons don't appear at convenient times of day

Constantly late to school when I was younger, sometimes in trouble for it

That I don't care about my family/family events when I struggle to do a whole week of vacation on 2-4 hours of sleep

A lot of this has gotten better since there's been more research on my sleep disorder (delayed sleep phase disorder) and I've been able to educate my family and explain things to my friends, and as disability/accessibility concerns/awareness have grown a lot over the last two decades

And I'm extremely rare and extremely lucky because I've had a sleep disorder diagnosis almost my whole life (since I was 11, I'm now 30ish). Most people with sleep disorders, especially severe sleep disorders, spend years and years exhausted and believing something is simply wrong with them, that they're some kind of a failure, because they just can't ""try"" hard enough to ""fix it""

Anyway if you struggle with sleep, especially if it's a sleep disorder, I believe you and I believe that it's real.

And if you find yourself relating to this post, or are tired all the time because you can never get enough sleep - or can only get enough if you sleep half/most of the day - I really recommend looking into sleep disorders, especially delayed sleep phase

Oh also working during a time that your circadian rhythm says you're supposed to sleep is so hard that for a person with a ""normal"" sleep schedule, working night shifts can literally give you a diagnosable sleep disorder. It's literally called "shift work disorder"

[sometimesraven]

re: the ableism in Dot and Bubble

I understand it almost certainly wasn't Rusty's intention for the "can't walk without the arrows" thing to be ableist, but the implications are there and it was so, so hard to watch.

As I said while liveblogging, I've noted that reliance on tech like Google Maps has caused a regression in skills like navigation and a frustrating refusal to even try. I'm frequently faced with that fact as I live somewhere you have to use your eyes to see and most fast food delivery drivers just Cannot Find Us bc the GPS goes wild and they can't follow the directions I always give them so I inevitably have to go out to find them myself. Believe me, I know what he was going for with that part of the script.

However.

When you exaggerate that point to the tune of "she literally cannot walk" without the aid, and then instead of it being deeply disturbing to the two 'kind, helpful' characters (Doc n Ruby), they actively roll their eyes at her and it's played as an "omg how stupid is she" moment, you have to see how that looks.

Let's reframe it: someone you've met was raised in a cult. A very insular, very strict cult that they literally have never seen outside of. At this point in time you know nothing about them but you do know they're in a very insular, very closed-off society. One day they tell you they have no idea how to,,,,,, idk, wash themselves without assistance. If your first instinct is to laugh at them and roll your eyes like they're overexaggerating, you're an ableist.

I struggle to believe anyone like the Doctor wouldn't perhaps initially react with confusion/incredulity but then, after realising this person is 100% serious, go "oh my god that's horrible okay uh let me try to walk you through this and teach you how".

It's a horrible, cynical response that would maybe track if at this point the characters already knew she was an entitled pissbaby. But they don't and that's why it comes across so terribly.

Especially when there's no indication that this is a side-effect of her entitlement and she's literally insulting herself "I'm so stupid!" and genuinely upset and frustrated that she can't even walk in the face of actual death. And yes, she miraculously can walk again once she meets Ricky but it wasn't because she was ignoring the Doctor's advice because racism because he had not given her any. She had literally zero clue how to walk without assistance until Ricky guided her.

This isn't a refusal to learn a skill based on entitlement, this isn't a heavy-handed metaphor, you have given this girl a disability (even if it is psychosomatic, it is still a disability). And in a time where social media + youth entitlement is being blamed for an increase of ADHD, Autism, chronic illness and DID diagnosis-seekers (among other things, but those are the ones people are most aggressive against) that just does not look good At All.

Russel could easily have made it so that they just had no idea how to navigate without the bubble and refused to learn.

Maybe at first show it as genuine frustration on Lindy's part that she can't find anything without guidance but slowly show that no, she's perfectly capable, she just doesn't care to learn.

Hell, you could have everything play out the same way but have her genuinely get offered help to begin with by the Doctor and ignore it, only for Ricky to say the same thing to her later and she gets it immediately.

Idk, anything beyond literally disabling her. The show does a great job at humanising her before showing us that she was a monster all along, but I feel like Rusty himself forgot that he was still representing a Whole Entire Person (something that people on all ends of the political spectrum do All The Time: "person is bad therefore [___ism] is okay in this instance". Ableism especially)

[rabbitonthemoon]

A small Nnoitra and Nelliel analysis made by humble me.

I clarify that I'm not the best at these things, but I really wanted to do it, I just hope it's a decent read XD. Well to start, there is a detail that although you can glimpse it's not explicitly said, and surprisingly it even made it to the game Bleach Brave Souls, when you have Nnoitra and Nel together the team it's called Two Beasts (or used to be called, this feature was removed a while ago), the name may sound a little strange at first, but yes, they antagonized each other, Nnoitra crossed the line with the surprise attack on her and her fraccions but before that they were both each other's villain. There is a scene where Nnoitra kills an Arrancar and says something like (Maybe it's not 100% accurate, I wrote it from my memory and there are many translations) "Are you wondering why I killed him if he was an Arrancar? I killed him because he was an Arrancar, saving an enemy won't save a comrade, if you want to follow me keep that in mind." The Arrancar known for his fits of anger was willing to let Nel follow him, strangely calm, I even used to think this scene was with Tesla, he didn't seem to have any grudge against Nel and logically he already knew that she surpassed him, if this was a simple rivalry of pure hatred, why this scene exist?

We know very well that Nnoitra wants to die in a bloody battle giving his all and losing his breath before hitting the ground, we see him passed out after a fight with several adjuchas, from which Nelliel saves him. Nelliel follows him against his will, she says it's to avoid lossing an Espada but everyone knows that Aizen couldn't care less, and if he seeks death she shouldn't get involved, it's implied that he was fine with her presence until Nel got her hands in that matter.

I'm sure Nelliel sees this as something good, she tries to find out the reason for his fights, in one of the many translations she says they are like a high, a false high, he tells her straight up that he wants to die, but she still doesn't understand, and I don't blame her, anyone would think wasting life like that is wrong, and that's probably why she tries to make him see reason. In Nnoitra's mind he surely thought that if she doesn't allow others to kill him, she should do it herself, the problem is that Nel doesn't want that either, and that was the biggest clash, she doesn't allow him to have his end with others, but she also denies him an end by her sword, telling him that he's not a warrior worthy of her.

We get to Nnoitra's attack, it was crossing the line, that's not up for debate, but it's still weird, it would be understandable if his plan was for her to die in the desert without much more, but his real plan was to disable her for a while and reach her level, it sounds far-fetched. If she hadn't turned into a child there would be two options, she would return no later than a few months later to beat him up without giving him time to get stronger, or most likely she would just go on her way and never see him again, but he really planned for her to come back for a fight. It's very clear that Nnoitra's intention was never to kill her, even when that would make their whole story much easier, direct and no one would question it.

In his last fight, if you compare the effort he made against Nel and against Kenpachi the difference is huge. Until the end he was reluctant to die at the hands of Kenpachi, but against Nel he didn't show much resistance, he didn't even use his resurreccion. He smiled when he was cornered against that rock, he didn't show the intention of releasing his Zanpakuto, but that same smile disappeared when he saw Nelliel return to her childlike state.

I think Nnoitra is more interested in Nel finishing him off than in defeating her. The purpose of his life is to fight to the end or die at the hands of someone strong, but I'm sure that what he wanted most in the world was to die by the hands of Nelliel, I can't say if it was a conscious or unconscious desire but maybe he realized this in his last seconds, the closest thing to dying at her hands was seeing her for the last time, he ignored all the things in his sight to have that last look, at the moment of fulfilling his dream he didn't even think about Kenpachi, she was still the center.

For someone who claims to view women as inferior, the fact that he wants to obtain something SO important to him from a woman says a lot. Kenpachi was undoubtedly a much bigger challenge than Nelliel could ever be, but he was not her, he will never be her, Kenpachi said that the fight was fun, something that Nnoitra probably always wanted to hear from Nelliel's voice.

Nelliel in the form of a child did not remember him when they met again, she probably blocked the memory, but in his last seconds she remembered his name, at that moment they were both the same, perhaps wondering if everything could have been different. A scene like that should not exist between enemies, in fact if it didn't exist no one would bat an eye, but it is there, almost as a reminder that there is more than meets the eye.

[aliciavance4228]

Before starting to talk about this subject I want to make one thing clear: Hephaestus is one of my favourite Greek Gods (either in Top 5 or Top 10), so I'm not writing this post because I dislike him, but because I cannot stand superficial/surfface-level depictions of greek gods' personalities, nor the simplification of them and the erasure of their nuances (either through romanticization or demonization).

I do appreciate the fact that a lot of people start to realize that the relationship between Aphrodite and Hephaestus was a disfunctional one and that both of them are happier with different people (Ares and Aglaea, respectively). However, the fact that many people are usually focusing only on Aphrodite's actions and ignore Hephaestus' abusiveness rubs me in a wrong way.

Now, referring to Hephaestus as an Incel or choosing to villainize him for that is not the best solution either. He wasn't the only god asking Zeus for a wife, nor the only one who presents a more or less misogynistic attitude towards women. We're talking here about Ancient Greece, so expecting the deities to act how we would expect them to act based on nowdays' principles and standards is unrealistic and juvenile. I would also like to point out the fact that Hephaestus is, according to Hesiod's Theogony, happily married with Aglaea, who is also described as his first and only wife. They also have four daughters according to Orphic Rhapsodies Frag. And yet he is the exact same deity that you guys claim to be an Incel, which is a contraditiction to the original meaning of the term. The word was ment to reffer to a category of men who blame their appearance for not being able to have sex (when in truth the reason why women don't want them is rather due to their personality and beliefs; and by beliefs I mean their tendency of objectifying women and having ridiculously high standards for their future wives while simultaneously getting offended when a woman has her own standards too). I can see Apollo and Hades falling into more Incel Stereotypes than him, considering the fact that one of them cursed many women for refusing to sleep with him, whereas the other literally had to kidnap a woman in order to have a wife. And yet nobody dares to call them Incels, just because they two aren’t described as being disabled nor falsely considered unattractive, unlike Hephaestus.

That being said, negating his wrongs and turning him into a woobie who did nothing wrong just because you cannot stand Aphrodite isn't a good way of perceiving their relationship either. While Aphrodite was indeed manipulative towards Hephaestus and her sleeping with his own brother in his bed was hardly admirable, I would also like to point out the fact that Hephaestus was pretty much toxic and revengeful towards her too.

Now, there are a lot of versions on how they got married as well as a lot of lost fragments, which leads to speculations rather than something 100% certain. So I won't talk about it purely because I want to avoid misinterpretiation and misinformation, and discuss directly about what intetests me the most.

Wheter or not Aphrodite willingly married him or loved him, what do we know for sure is that she preffered Ares more and had an affair with him all this time. Being cheated on is a form a betrayal from a partner, so Hephaestus being angry on her is understandable. However, instead of divorcing her directly, he decided to humiliate her in one of the worst ways possible before separating from her:

Quintus Smyrnaeus, Fall of Troy 14. 40 ff (trans. Way) (Greek epic C4th A.D.) :

"With cheek shame-crimsoned, like the Queen of Love, what time the Heaven-abiders saw her clasped in Ares' arms, shaming in sight of all the marriage-bed, trapped in the myriad-meshed toils of Hephaistos : tangled there she lay in agony of shame, while thronged around the Blessed, and there stood Hephaistos' self: for fearful it is for wives to be beheld by husbands' eyes doing the deed of shame."

On top of that, Hephaestus directed his wrath towards one of Aphrodite and Ares' daughters (Harmonia) and her descendants as well, despite the fact it wasn't technically her fault that she was fathered by his brother:

Statius, Thebaid 2. 265 ff (trans. Mozley) (Roman epic C1st A.D.) :

"The dread necklace of Harmonia . . . The Lemnian [Hephaistos], so they of old believed, long time distressed at Mars' [Ares'] deceit and seeing that no punishment gave hindrance to the disclosed armour, and the avenging chains removed not the offence [of his affair with Hephaistos' then wife Aphrodite], wrought this [a cursed necklace] for Harmonia on her bridal day to be the glory of her dower [description of the necklace follows] . . .

The work first proved its worth, when Harmonia's complaints turned to dreadful hissing, and she bore company to grovelling Cadmus, and with long trailing breast drew furrows in the Illyrian fields [the pair were turned into serpents in Illyria]. Next, scarce had shameless Semele [their daughter] put the hurtful gift about her neck, when lying Juno [Hera] crossed her threshold. Thou too, unhappy Jocasta, didst, as they say, possess the beauteous, baleful thing, and didst deck thy countenance with its praise - on what a couch, alas! to find favour; and many more beside. Last Argia shines in the splendour of the gift, and in pride of ornament and accursed gold surpassed her sister's mean attiring. The wife of the doomed prophet [Eriphyle wife of Amphiaraus] beheld it, and at every shrine and banquet in secret cherished fierce jealousy, if only it might be granted her to possess the terrible jewel, nought profited, alas!"

Furthermore, I would also like to emphasize the fact that Hephaestus had a considerable amount of lovers. And while timeline is another uncertain aspect and he might have slept with those women before he married Aphrodite and/or between the moment when he divorced her and the one when he remarried, the possibility of him cheating on Aphrodite isn't an impossible one. In this case, that could be taken as a Double Standard, and his reaction when he found out that Aphrodite was cheating on him would be completely hypocritical.

As I said, Aphrodite was abusive and toxic towards him as well. But deciding to solely demonize her instead of acknowledging that both of them were abusive and toxic towards each other -I don't like to use this term but I can't find another one for the moment- is purely slut-shaming. Some of you guys are complaining about how "Hera has no agency" and were praising Kaos for portraying her as cheating on Zeus despite the fact that this is out of her character because "He finally got a taste of his own medicine", yet when Aphrodite cheats on her possible unfaithful husband she's suddenly a whore. You guys want a goddess who can be sexually active without any sort of inhibitions, yet when Aphrodite is brought into discussion there's at least one person who won't hesitate to call her all slurs for that, whereas Demeter is turned into a prude on top of being a Helicopter Parent in many fanfictions and retellings (because apparently when a woman becomes a mother she cannot care about anything else).

So instead of choosing one extreme or another where a) Aphrodite is a brainless slut and Hephaestus a poor woobie or b) Aphrodite is a helpless victim and Hephaestus an Incel who deserved to be cheated on, perhaps it would be a better idea to treat them as humane, realistic figures, instead of some sort of cartoonish caricatures who can easily fit into whatever labels and tropes you want them to fit in.