#i better wake up at 1 am to this on my roof top | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ty-does-blogs · 7 months ago

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a sore subject

Note: This is part 3, can officially say that the angst and pain is over. Have a nice fluff for the final part. The first song is called LOVE by PEGGY, and the second is ALICE by PEGGY as well. I do not own it just have been listening to it and knew i had to use it in this part of the story. Please go listen to it and giver her love to some amazing songs

Here is a link to the song, please go listen

LOVE: https://youtu.be/hi4GSHRl7p0?si=iQ94qhsB3djYum7B ALICE: https://youtu.be/SHz01yrdoUQ?si=sOvHZxgLvX4o5Sss

Part 1, Part 2 , Part 3

The team watched on as she slightly scratched the marks before letting her arm go." Hunter taunted with me with my past as an addict, somehow knowing I hadn't told you all as well." She finished, now fully out of tears she picked another cigarette and light it." Now you know, everything." She said and looked away. Rory prepared herself for heartbreak, to be left alone by the only people she could ever call family. But what happened next surprised her. Arms crowed around her. First Cisco than Caitlin, after that Iris was quick to join with barry not far behind her. And finally Harry hugged her from behind and joe joined in lastly. Tears filled her eyes as all she felt was love, love that told her they weren't going to leave. After a bit of silent crying from her and the team they stepped away. Iris was quick to grab rory's hand though, causing her green and bloodshot eyes too look at her friend." We would never hate you for your past ro, your apart of this team whether you like it or not." Iris said taking her friend into a hug." Thank you iris." Rory said quietly, her voice very sore from crying and finally getting this burden off her back." And we could care less if your an addict ro, we can help you get better." Cisco said from her side his hand proving a comfortable squeeze to her. And that's how the night went. Everyone comforting their friend before deciding to go home, back to star labs.

Ro sat up in the middle of the night, looking over at the clock by her bed, she looked for the time." Great another nightmare at three am." Ro said to herself before throwing the covers off herself. Knowing one thing was that she couldn't go back to now. Looking over at the sleeping form in her bed. She gave harry a small kiss on his forehead, careful not to wake him up as well. Quickly and quietly making her way to the kitchen, she saw her friends around her apartment. Team flash had decided on a "unprompted" sleepover to have at her place. Knowing there was no fighting it, rory welcomed her friends into her apartment. Most of the night was filled with laughter and smiles as they all relaxed in each others company and happiness. Taking a glass down, Rory filled it with some whiskey before walking to their roof. Being on the top floor had its perks. A guitar in one had, her whisky in the other. She sat down on the roof. Turning around to make sure no one followed. Rory placed the drink to the side before placing the guitar on her lap and pulled a notebook from under a table near her. Letting out a sigh she turned to the song she had written down. Strumming a couple of cord she slowly began singing." Romeo was full of shit. Juliet, she fell for it." Strumming slightly she began to focus on the music." And I'm not an idiot. Orpheus, Eurydice ended in a tragedy." continuing her voice flowed out, the pain flowing out as if second nature. Slowly barry raised from his spot next to cisco on the floor, his friend raising too as they watched rory walk out to the roof.

They nodded to each other and barry ran them up to the roof. Just out of sight for her to see. They watched as she continued to sing."I won't let it happen to me, Told myself it's all a trick." She sung, the paint hitting her friends heart." just so i can cope with it. The older i get, the more that it sticks." She finished singing as barry and cisco fell through the door startling her." What the hell!! You guys followed me?" She asked very confused and distraught." We saw you leave, and wanted to make sure your okay." Cisco said rubbing back of his neck. Letting a sigh out she motioned for them to join her. The two boys sat down across from her. As rory took a deep breath before continuing her song." I've never been in love, is that something that i want?" The way her voice shook slightly as if she wanted to cry the boys encouraged her with smiles to continue. The guitar strumming alongside her was a comfort."(Ah-Ah) Convinced that im fine, I'm not losing my mind. Maybe it's not enough for me." As rory continued singing Iris and Caitlin had come up to joined them." No, i dont need L-O-V-E ( da-da-da, Da-da-da)" she sung before flipping a page to continue." love can't differentiate between what's real and what's fake, so women use paper and pen." She continued a soft but sad smile painted on her face." Juliet, she took the bait. Orpheus was far too late." Rory looked up to see her close friends now crowded around her insisting to her spill her soul once again to them." So now i love fictional men. (da-da-da-da-da) Guess in not the trusting type." Continuing the song rory stopped briefly to put her hair up." Dealt with plenty creepy guys, the shoe doesn't fit, I'll step out of line." Pouring her feeling into the song rory couldn't help a small tear that fall down her cheek." Still i've never been in love(ah-ah) Is that something that i want?" They way that line came across, it was like she was asking permission to move on from the pain."(Ah-ah-ah), Convince me I'm fine. I'm not losing my mind." She continued now solely focused on her song not releasing cisco had called harry to her place to watch. What they didn't know was that harry had already been in her bedroom, standing by the door he dared not move. He had heard her sing before, but not like this. He could catch her humiming out parts of her songs, but he never asked about it. Only silently enjoying the way she sounded." Maybe it's just not for me, no. I don't need L-O-V-E". Shaking her head the pink tint was hard not to notice. Slowly he began walking closer as the final parts of the song left her lips." Maybe i'll just wait and see, i might need L-O-V-E." She said softly as if someone was on her mind.

The group clapped as slight tears began to form from everyone." Who knew you had a voice like that?" Cisco asked surprised as a light chuckle came from rory." Well i've herd her hum before, but never perform like that." Harry said with a light laugh that caused rory to turn a dark red in embarrassment."I'm not that good, it just something i've been working on. Funny enough guatir has been a clutch for me. It gave my hands something to do, turns out im kinda a natural at it." Rory said with a small smile as her friends watched on in excitement."Come on another song!" Cisco shouted in excitement, his smile bringing one to her a well as the group started chanting." One more song! one more song! one more song!" they shouted in excitement as harry bumped her shoulder." Looks like your audience wants an encore." He said as she stifled a giggle." Okay last one before some else has to sing." She stifled a laugh and began flipping a couple of pages to a song called ALICE.

Rory cleared her throat as barry dashed away to grab joe and come back as she nodded to him. Starting to stum again rory took a deep breath in and softly let a few ah's fall out as the song started." Woke up in a haze, nothing on her brain." Rory started singing in tune to her guitar." Full of empty smiles, they'll say" Sit and stay a while" Her head up in the clouds,." Rory sang looking up the clear night sky all the stars shining in a different view for some reason."Wheres has she gone now? Then alice took the rabbit hole. So the story goes." Letting her head fall back down rory gave a shrug, everyone had feeling this meant more than she let on." Alice, alice heart and soul fell into a rabbit hole. Dreamers dream until they dont." Looking back up they could tell she wasn't here with them, but somewhere else." Lost her mind a while ago. Alice, alice dont you know?" Her head cocked to the side with a stug as she continued. The whole team began focused on how she was doing. Harry watched on in insterst." wonderland was all a hoax, made it up so she could cope. Madder than a hatter alice broke." it was if your scars and troubles laid in front of them. Somehow they manage to see where she was." Ah-ah, ah-ah,ah-ah. Alice stayed at home, losing track of time. Staring at the ceiling she escaped into her mind." Rory sang moving one hand to tighten around her black locks and stared into the sky, before moving back down to continued playing." Like the cheshire cat, the ceiling fades to black(ah) and in her mind she'll drown." Harry watched pain on rory's face and unconstly placed a hand on her thigh for comfort as he fell into her music. A small blush formed on rory's face bring her back to the group. Swallowing a gulp she continued." As she chased the rabbit down, down, down. Alice, alice, hear and soul. Fell into a rabbit hole. Dreamers dream until they dont. lost her mind a while ago" Rory smiled looking at her friends engrossed in her music."Alice, alice, dont you know? Wonderland was all a hoax. Made it up so she could cope. Madder than hatter alice." She finished before repeating madder than hatter alice as her head swung a couple of times swinging with the guitar." alice, alice, hear and soul fell into a rabbit hole. Dreamers dream until they dont." Rory sang raising her pitch a bit before bring it back down. Letting herself get caught in the music as well." Lost her mind a while ago. Alice, alice, dont you know? wonderland was all a hoax. Made it up so she could cope." Barry watched on awe, he deftly could tell she had written back when she was recovering. But from what he wasn't sure" Madder than a hatter alice broke. Ah-ah, ah-ah. ah-ah, ah-ah. (Madder than hatter alice broke.)" She finished a bit of light coming back to rory's eyes as they all stood up to clap and cheer." Guys come on, im not that good." Rory said with an eye roll placing the guitar next to her and picking the book up and closing it." Good? Dude you are fanfliping tastic!" Cisco shouted with huge grin on his face. Soon they quited down and began to go back into her place.

This left rory and harry sitting on the roof. The two glasses of whisky set off to the side and abandoned as their conversation took over." So when did your write that? I know it wasnt after zoom." Harry said, his body half turned to rory one leg folded under himself and one of his arms laid behind her." I actually wrote it coming out of the coma. right after the lighting?" She said looking down a bit embarrassed. Harry smiled to himself before bringing his other hand to lift rory's head so he could see her." Don't look away. I think its wonderful how you think." He said a slight blush filling his cheeks as butterfly dances in rory's stomach. Her emerald green eyes stared into his crystal blue ones. As much as she wanted to fight harry's grip she couldn't move. Her eyes searching for some reason to not believe him. To not trust him, but the electricity that she felt and the butterflies in her stomach trumped all nerves. Harry let out a small laugh that caused a blush to fill rory's face." I well- its a-" rory started stuttering out trying to look away. Slowly his hand left from behind her and moved down to hold one of her hands that rested in her lap. harry began to lean closer slightly looking down to rory's lips, as if he silently asking permission before looking back up at her. Rory's eyes followed his own scanning his face for any thing. Anything to tell her he wasn't about to kiss her." Harry i-" Rory started leaning a bit as well, scooting a bit closer to male next to her. Doing the same harry finally closed the gap. Placing his lips delictly on her own. Rory's eyes closed softly as one of her hands moved to rest on harry's forearm that held her. The other tightly intertwined with harry's. He moved back slightly panting alongside rory, who just had her breath taken from her, literally. The two moved closer kissing one more time. This time one of rory's hand moved from harrys to slightly lay against the back of his neck, slightly pulling on the hair at the base of his neck. Smirking in response harry's hands found their place as well. One on her waist pulling rory closer to him. Almost making her sit on his lap. The other getting entangled in her long black hair. The two enjoyed their moment getting lost in the kiss and just touching each other. Just beyond the door cisco smirked holding hand out before turning away." And what i say, they total had it for each other." He said taking the money from barry and Caitlin. Turing back cisco saw rory's form fall back with happy giggle that was quickly following suit by harry's, a loud laughter erupting from the pair as they walked away. Leaving rory and harry on the roof in their bliss.

#barry allen #harrison wells #cisco ramon #caitlin snow #iris west #joe west #cw the flash #team flash #flash fiction #harry wells

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thenewdeadseascrolls · 8 months ago

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Judges 12: 1-3. "The Top."

So now we know what Shavuot really is, and how to map the Course named in the Torah to the Days, Months, and Years. The Torah explains each commandment and plague in detail, and how to employ the Sacrifices, Festivals, Mishpatim, Tzav, Edoms, Temple Furnishings, and so forth in order to complete their ethical treatises, and as I have mentioned there are 82 ways to obey or disobey each depending on the Tribe or Clan one is contending with.

But Days are different. They are the precursors to intelligent study of anything. A violent man is no good, a selfish, corrupt man who fears for his survival he is so jealous no matter how wealthy or healthy he is, is no good. An intelligent man whose character is not well developed is worse- he is devious, cunning, capable of machinating great evil. Only a species of enlightened man should be allowed to populate this planet.

Has it completely dawned on us yet two hundred years ago, there were 10 million African slaves in chains in America. Not too long after that, hundreds of millions of persons were exterminated in concentration camps via a marvel of modern engineering and political effort. Today, we are following the same patterns.

None of these activities, their impetuses, or their means are allowed by God. About this the Torah is outspoken. Man is expected to be as learned and placid as possible at all times and reinvest his soul in learning, the land, and the object of the desires of his heart. When we fail to follow this agenda and inflict harm instead, we give up far too much and always have.

The next frame discusses all the ways the Torah can help us achieve salvation from our unthinkable wastes of time and life.

Jephthah means "key to the words of Moses." Ephraim, "make up the face on the surface of the sea." All of this is tied to the Shema and the Siddhur. Take a look at yourselves and Report, "I am not a slave. I deserve to free. No one deserves to be a slave. Everyone deserves to be free."

The Shoftim speaks next of what is called a Kippah or Yarmulkah, the beanbag helmet many Jewish men wear. Kippah means "the fun brotherhood", Yarmulkah means "above the forest of power."

The Kippah is the "cover" on the Ark of the Covenant. Men who study the Torah and keep the Covenant are supposed to be protected by God and other men from the causes of oppression and violence. They are "covered" or "shielded" like a roof shields a house from the outside elements. The term Yarmulkah obviously refers to men who have attain to Ha Shem, the Burning Bush on Sinai and become smarter than most is also better than most.

This most fantastic point, which is made throughout the Shoftim is the subject of the next series of offices...how to struggle with traditional and non-traditional views of Jews and Judaism and find all the correct, which are the effective ways at engineering a mankind that does not fall prey to violence or corruption and waste his time or ruin the land:

Jephthah and Ephraim

12 The Ephraimite forces were called out, and they crossed over to Zaphon. They said to Jephthah, “Why did you go to fight the Ammonites without calling us to go with you? We’re going to burn down your house over your head.”

2 Jephthah answered, “I and my people were engaged in a great struggle with the Ammonites, and although I called, you didn’t save me out of their hands.

3 When I saw that you wouldn’t help, I took my life in my hands and crossed over to fight the Ammonites, and the Lord gave me the victory over them. Now why have you come up today to fight me?”

The Calling is mentioned in Behaalotekha: God tells Moses the Israelites are to gather and those who actually understand Judaism (the Southern Tribes) are to lead those who are born into it (designated as Eastern Tribes, who are just waking up).

Silver trumpets are used for the purpose meaning, "a pure and ordinary voice, and pure and ordinary ears" are to be used for the Call.

While Royalty is a good thing for maintaining the absolute authority of the Law and the traditions, this is bunk until ordinary men, all around the planet are free to be as ordinary men. All the laws and traditions of man must emphasize the plight of the common man, a call to duty that began the day God gave Moses the Torah at the top of Sinai. The Kippah commemorates the call of Moses to the Thorn Bush, and the Silver Trumpet is its imminent vocal counterpart:

The Silver Trumpets

10 The Lord said to Moses: 2 “Make two trumpets of hammered silver, and use them for calling the community together and for having the camps set out. 3 When both are sounded, the whole community is to assemble before you at the entrance to the tent of meeting. 4 If only one is sounded, the leaders—the heads of the clans of Israel—are to assemble before you. 5 When a trumpet blast is sounded, the tribes camping on the east are to set out. 6 At the sounding of a second blast, the camps on the south are to set out. The blast will be the signal for setting out. 7 To gather the assembly, blow the trumpets, but not with the signal for setting out.

The Values in Gematria are:

v. 1: The Ephraimite forces were called out, and they crossed over to Zaphon. In the Shoftim, all Jews are called to the Zaphon, to the North, the unknown, as humanity has long since forgotten how to be civil, in particular towards the Jew. Real Jews are as unknown to themselves as they are to the rest of the human race.

The Shoftim was introduced by the Rab in order to solve this dilemma with style.

The Value in Gematria is 15846, י״החדו‎‎, y'hadoo, "God's two echoes."

There is nothing but the God of Israel and the People of Israel. Only they can properly represent each other in their reflections of each other. All the rest are savages and they will drown in the flood of their wickedness.

v. 2: I called but you didn't save me. The Value in Gematria is 8785, חז‎חה‎, haza, "learn this first."

Do not violate Eden is the first thing we learn. People need to grow up before they enter the world and their adult roles and responsibilities. Eve fell prey to her snatch because she wasn't grown up enough to handle her sexual feelings. Then came the expulsion, then came Cain and Abel...then Sodom and Gomorrah, then Noah, then Egypt...then came us.

We cannot trust the world to persons who are not grown up. They will only bring violence, war, oppression, and sorrow. The Mormons, who don't share a brain the size of a midge, are proof of this.

v. 3: Now why have you come today to fight me? The Fight has always been over how to be Jewish. This is what the Numbers are for. The Hebrew language is a squirrel as it is based on an alpha numeric format that creates combinations of words and noumena that must be properly understood or the Torah and Tanakh, all which were originally written in Hebrew will not make any sense at all.

So the Fight which will always be ongoing is how to implement the Covenant in the most ideal manner and finish mankind off in a global observance of Shabbos called Mashiach.

The Value in Gematria is 15853, י״החהג, the hahag, "the holiday festival feast."

The reason God told us to be in constant perennial preparation to rest and play and eat was to help us turn ourselves into a productive society. We are not doing any of the things God told us to do in order to be a mankind that celebrates what is a long and also a short time to revel on the surface of this world.

The burden of the Ammonites, the traditions is not in the rote observance of poorly practiced or understood rituals of religion, only in lessening the burdens of ignorance and violence.

It is the calling of the Jewish people to protect mankind from men that refuse to cooperate and remind the rest. This is all brought into alignment by the wearing of the Yarmulkah.

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punkscowardschampions · 1 year ago

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Janis & Casey Pt.1

Janis: Are you in seclusion?

Janis: Just saw Lucas stropping off to the head

Casey: Least ‘til dad gets here, he were on about ringing him

Janis: He cannot be serious

Janis: I know it weren’t as dramatic as [the most OTT rumour about what went down]

Casey: dead, he can’t hack the twat I made him look

Janis: Someone should tell him he never looks no different

Casey: I did do

Janis: Yeah but I’m not sure the way you did it had him listening

Janis: I’ll go find him

Casey: he heard, half the school an’ all even before it went ‘round rest

Janis: No need to involve Ian about it, not a competition of who can be the loudest, like

Casey: don't matter, he’ll be on my side when he’s heard it

Janis: What was it about, anyway

Janis: no one was too fussed about that detail

Casey: nor am I, he’s never not trying to make us look a dickhead, every chance, I took mine while he were still pissing about

Janis: That is his kink, along with using his red biro, obvs

Janis: he’s a joke, no one takes him serious unless they’re proper messed up and want him to touch them up

Casey: about to say, you missed off his biggest, nonce is what he is

Casey: not a crime not to wear a skirt to class unless you’re in his, my only, that

Janis: You can borrow one of mine, no worries

Casey: 😏 I’d have a few, mate

Janis: Nah, we all know he’s too pussy to actually do anything, you’ll be grand

Casey: didn’t mean problems off him, like

Janis: You’re right, Ian won’t care, will he

Casey: he’d care if I dressed myself up as a lass for a day, but about this bollocks, nah

Janis: Sure, we’d all have complicated feelings about it

Janis: Good, you enjoy your peace and quiet in there then

Casey: only yourself to blame if you set them rumours going again

Janis: 🙄🖕 you’re hilarious, boy

Casey: I get it, right slim pickings in your year far as fit lasses, but calm yourself down, no need to start turning the lads into ‘em or you’ll be having your own calls home

Janis: Whatever was in the water that year was toxic, clearly 👹👹

Janis: They stopped bothering ages ago, she’s on her redo kids, yeah, far too busy

Casey: I’d not answer either if I reckoned dickheads on the other end was giving me a bell to say they’re sectioning the other half the childcare, been there done it as a single mum

Janis: Only my mother could have worse taste in women than she does in men

Janis: least all she does is rot in her room, poor Bobby be terrified otherwise

Casey: there’d be no room for him, she had taste, I’d have moved myself in from the off

Janis: oh so you’d do it if she said so, pisstake

Casey: or she had a fit missus she was all over all over the place, not fussy either way, me

Janis: 🤮

Janis: not even had any lunch to lose yet, dickhead

Casey: it were you putting the idea about

Janis: It’s not that bad, basically everyone has pissed off so we get left to ourselves, honest

Casey: yeah, you sounded proper buzzing to be there then, cosied up with your own mummified other mum

Janis: it’s not even like that, she’s like a grandma in the attic or something

Janis: anyway, go ahead and rub it in how great it is having the whole place to yourself, I’ll allow it

Casey: looks nowt like your fit nan neither, you’ll have to try harder to get us through the door

Janis: 😏 some mate

Janis: I shouldn’t have to make you a sodding list of pros

Casey: we’d only fall out under the same roof

Janis: Absence makes the heart grow fonder’s a charming way to call us a nightmare

Casey: not you, it’s who you wake up next to

Janis: Guess you’re welcome for taking him away then

Janis: it’s been better?

Casey: Always is when there’s no girls about

Janis: My condolences to Ian 💔

Janis: though girl is really pushing the age limit of that word there

Casey: nah, I mean him

Janis: and what am I then

Casey: a lass is different from a girl, you know that

Casey: he’s a pussy, you have one, 1st is his own fault, you can’t help yours

Janis: Tah, very generous of you

Casey: I can’t help being in a top mood neither

Janis: fucking with Lucas will do that to you, I get it

Casey: course you do

Janis: you’re sure I can’t go annoy him about this? Spoilsport

Casey: since when do you do as you’re told

Janis: I don’t fancy you chucking a chair at me about it too

Janis: if you’re good, you’re good

Casey: I chucked a table, have it right

Janis: Oh, I’m soz, SO much more impressive, will correct the gossip for you

Casey: tah

Janis: 💪💪💪

Janis: Hopefully your dad follows suit, at least verbally and Lucas cries off my last lesson with him 🤞

Casey: he’s gonna keep on acting like a woman, my dad’ll put him in line like one

Janis: right, not exactly a showdown for the ages, the pair of them

Casey: over before I get to my pisstake count of 10

Janis: She come and found you yet?

Janis: patronising shoulder pat is what you need right now

Casey: she’ll have the kettle on, solves everything

Janis: *when your degree is written in crayon

Janis: Basically giving you a treat for it, stupid cow 🐶

Casey: deserve it, don’t I

Casey: didn’t kneecap him but still a hero for calling a nonce a nonce round here

Janis: I wouldn’t go that far but that’s why my 🐶 behave better than any kid in this dump

Casey: All about tough love, you

Janis: Living proof of the alternative being for shit, just about

Casey: and I’m proof other side the street’s as shit, with sod all but dead grass

Janis: Don’t worry yourself, I’m not gonna have any

Janis: potential 👿 spawn safe from how much of a bitch I am and how shite everywhere is

Casey: gutted you never meant grass, had me wondering all sorts about where you was gonna piss off to

Janis: have to be a boat or a plane to get off of this island first, after that, who knows

Casey: be over your allowance with his dead weight’s what I know

Janis: Come on

Casey: what

Janis: I know you’ve passports, immigrants

Janis: be a really fucking bad state of affairs if you came here under a lorry

Casey: I get it, you’re after seeing my photo

Janis: Awh, you just got your big boy one, like

Casey: just ‘cause we ain’t all having our photos done every 2 minutes, love

Janis: wrong twin

Casey: nah, much as she’s tried to chuck herself in front of his 📷 a fair few times, still you who’s his muse

Janis: Thank fuck for the self-timer, eh Gracie

Janis: his fault for taking it as a lesson, blind me with the flash at this rate

Casey: done you a list of his faults ages ago

Janis: not a pros and cons list we’ll ever be on the same page on, I doubt

Casey: no shit, you reckon there’s pros, for a start

Janis: A bit different, I don’t rate any of my brothers and sisters either

Casey: you rated the one who’s gone, close I’m gonna be to having your permission to kill him, til he points his 📷 at some other lass

Janis: people who are gone get to skip out on being disappointing, I suppose

Janis: who knows how much she could wreck it, given the chance

Janis: and you know he won’t do that

Casey: might do in your house, in ours, dad’ll go on and on about how disappointed he is

Janis: If there’s anyone worth disappointing

Casey: you’d know loads about that

Janis: No way, thought he liked me

Casey: you couldn’t have picked someone more worth it, love you for it, he will

Janis: not a choice, ask anyone, I’m famously hard to get along with

Casey: I’m not bothered by their opinions on owt, I’ve my own

Janis: Yeah, that is true about you, s’why you’re alright

Casey: leave it out about my dad and you’re alright too

Janis: I’m not trying to change your mind, know that’d be a pointless thing to do

Janis: I can let him know the feeling is mutual though

Casey: how do you expect him to feel, you’ve taken them to yours, pissed off and left him

Janis: He hasn’t said or done anything about it

Casey: he’s said loads, I’ve stopped him doing something for yours and our kid’s sake

Janis: You know that’s not what’s meant

Casey: I know you’re taking the piss, you and Jim both

Janis: If he wants the kid, he knows where he is

Janis: it’s not like he’s been kidnapped

Casey: what do you want him for

Janis: He doesn’t feel safe with him

Casey: our kid dunno what unsafe is

Janis: There’s levels, you’d hate it if Jim played that card on you

Casey: he don’t have no cards to play against me, hard done by’s his favourite game, you shouldn’t need telling by now

Janis: It’s not up to me, it’s between you lot but Bob is happy right now, I know that much

Casey: you heard me say I were leaving him there, stopping my dad from coming round’s been up to me and I have done

Janis: You shouldn’t have to be his keeper

Casey: he shouldn’t be left here to rot, he’s done fuck all wrong

Janis: He has but that’s your shout, end of the day

Casey: taking his side and only listening to it’s yours

Janis: I know what I’ve seen but yeah

Janis: got no sway over you, if you say you’re alright then I have to take your word for it

Casey: you’ve seen what he wants you to when he comes crying to you, none of how he gets there

Janis: There’s no excusing it

Casey: you dunno what you’re on about, you never will

Janis: if you like, Case

Casey: if you like, stay with your hippie mum

Janis: Options are limited

Casey: your POV is, that ain’t the real world, how it works

Janis: The real world is if any of you told anyone what he does, he’d be banged up, and you know that

Casey: you’ve told me before you know what it’s like, weren’t that real

Janis: I know why you don’t say anything, wouldn’t

Casey: you cut me slack, why not my dad

Janis: It don’t work for adults, someone has to hold their feet to the fire or they carry on

Janis: you’re a kid, you’ve got time

Casey: piss off am I, Bob’s a kid

Janis: compared to your dad, then, I’m not calling you a young man like I’m 70, tah

Casey: no dickhead’s helped him, what’s it matter how old he is, people either give a shit or they don’t

Janis: It gets old as you do, then you end up alone

Janis: I’ve seen it happen, not just my hippie mother I’ve been dubiously ‘raised’ by

Casey: he’ll not end up like that

Janis: He still has you for now

Casey: I’m off nowhere, he’s my dad

Janis: then he’s lucky

Casey: he stayed put 1st

Janis: I know

Casey: you dunno nothing, bollocks has Jim said a word about her

Janis: It don’t take a genius, one parent is here, the other ain’t

Janis: hardly calling myself Einstein with it

Casey: get in his face instead of mine, that’s your job, like

Janis: Right, pretend it’s the same

Casey: come on, we’re nothing alike

Janis: Me and you or you and him?

Casey: none of us, how it sounds

Janis: I’m nothing like my own twin so wouldn’t hold out hope for it

Casey: alright

Janis: this has all got a bit 🎻 I’m off

Casey: in a bit

Janis: [the suitable pause for Ian to be the dick we, unfortunately, know him to be/Casey to miss some kind of predetermined meet and we just know]

Janis: the 🐶🐶s are handled but can I get you anything whilst I’m out?

Casey: Nah

Janis: I’ll just drop it at the door, or aim it in your window

Casey: you heard

Janis: Yeah but my stance on doing what I’m told’s not changed

Janis: I won’t say anything, swear

Casey: it’s been said, I don’t fucking want nothing off you

Janis: You need it

Casey: I’ve no need of you being a massive smug bitch

Janis: fuck off do I feel smug

Casey: my answer’s not changed

Janis: You can complain all you want, I don’t care

Casey: wrong one

Janis: fine, you’re in no position to fight me, either way, I’ll get what I want

Casey: really wrong one, I could knock you out even if he had me

Janis: we’ll see, won’t we

Casey: I better not bloody see you, girl

Janis: You’ll be less moody when you’ve got some decent painkillers in you, boy

Casey: I can sort my own out if needed

Casey: label’s barely reading

Janis: and have you?

Casey: I’m alright

Janis: You’re stubborn

Casey: and what

Janis: and I’m better at it than you

Casey: you reckon you are at everything

Janis: It’s a real curse

Casey: 💔

Janis: Look, you’ll already not talk to me about none of it, it’s the least you can do, alright

Casey: I don’t owe you shit, get your head round that

Janis: You feel like a dickhead, I’ve not called you one

Casey: be how you look at me I let you in, I’m not having it

Janis: come on, no I won’t

Casey: I ain’t thick, nor am I soft

Janis: not words I’ve called you either

Janis: I can’t just leave you

Casey: I’ve already been left, just stick to it

Janis: That’s how you want it, it’s easier

Janis: this is different

Casey: what this is is sod all to do with you

Janis: It’s enough to do with me that I’m not ignoring it

Casey: fuck’s sake

Janis: you should’ve thought up a good reason to cancel on me

Casey: I overslept, you never bothered asking

Janis: You went along with what I suspected, be why

Casey: you’re doing my head in

Janis: yeah?

Casey: yeah, piss off, can’t you

Janis: you can go back to bed if you just let me do what I need to do, instead of arguing back

Casey: What do you need to do

Janis: Give you a once over, assess the situation

Casey: I told you I can take care of myself

Janis: I heard

Casey: be his nurse whenever you fancy, he gets off on it

Janis: don’t need the hint

Casey: you’re not taking none of my others, worth a go

Janis: it’s tactical, like

Casey: it’s patronising, love, there’s fuck all you can do else I can’t

Janis: that’s not the point of doing things for people, don’t have to be

Casey: the point is save yourself the trip to see us 🤕

Janis: you’d rather sulk and lick your wounds

Janis: Alright

Casey: up to me, my wounds

Janis: it isn’t just about you though

Casey: You’re not bringing him here

Janis: You can’t be left alone with him

Casey: if you’re coming to have a look, only you are

Casey: bring that dickhead and you’ll be patching him up instead

Janis: He isn’t here, he’s working

Janis: you wouldn’t have agreed to coming before if he was about

Casey: keep your mouth shut to him or you’re not getting near

Janis: would it be that awful to know he cares

Casey: he don’t, he’d be chuffed to bits to say I told you so and yours is pisstake enough

Janis: that’s bollocks, no one is over the moon about any of this

Casey: he cares about getting one over on our dad, taking everything off him, where else am I in it

Janis: They’re coming back here, this hasn’t worked

Janis: you’re not coming anywhere, offer’s revoked

Casey: play happy families where you like

Janis: I said them, not me

Janis: I’m not stupid, I know that’ll not help anything

Casey: nor me, it’ll not last

Janis: It’ll have to

Casey: such bollocks

Janis: he can come see me

Casey: tell Jim, not us

Janis: I will, don’t need to ruin his shift with it

Casey: 👌 be what you’ll get off him too

Janis: ‘cos you’re loads better

Casey: what were it you said about pretending it’s the same

Janis: if you remembered, you could take the advice, shame

Casey: I’m meant to keep my distance, he’s not

Janis: I’ve never said he does

Casey: it don’t need saying, how close are you when he talks with nowt but 👍

Janis: you’re just trying to get me to piss off again

Casey: I said you could come here, you who went back on it

Janis: I’m on my way

Janis: You know how long it takes [a particularly fat and old dog] to get anywhere

Casey: blame [this dog]

Janis: what are you trying to blame me for?

Casey: I know pissing about when I see it

Janis: You would be familiar

Casey: it ain’t that bad, you can calm yourself down about how you reckon I might look

Janis: none of it was that bad, why’d he fly off the handle about it this time?

Casey: I kicked off at school, he kicked off at home

Casey: so what, like

Janis: He needs a hobby

Casey: don’t, alright

Janis: fine, fine, we won’t talk about it

Janis: and you’ve patched yourself up, yeah?

Casey: there’s nothing to have a chat about, we’re as bad as each other, me and him

Janis: Hardly

Casey: he was fuming ‘cause of me, I was fuming ‘cause of Lucas, no difference

Janis: You never said what Lucas did anyway

Casey: I said it don’t matter, he were just getting at me

Janis: he’s such a prick, I could always key his car again

Casey: there ain’t gonna be a desk between us every time, one day

Janis: No one’ll deserve it more, like

Casey: don’t go near his car, yeah, can’t have you going missing an’ all

Janis: You should be so lucky, he tried that, it weren’t happening

Casey: he’ll have mates he’s told since, how fit you are, be a whole ring ready and waiting

Janis: don’t threaten me with a good time

Janis: he’s definitely got no mates, not even noncy ones

Casey: I dunno, online you can be whatever dickhead you want, you’re wasting it, might be he’s not

Janis: Sounding like YOU fancy him now

Janis: his socials won’t be that good

Casey: how is it, I’m warning YOU

Janis: you’re sweet

Casey: shut up

Janis: 😏🤐

Casey: I did just oversleep, I was gonna show up

Janis: then what, let me get the fright of my life at the sight of you

Casey: you’re not Bob, you can hack it

Janis: so much faith in us

Casey: it’s only some blood, lasses do that all the time, what school taught us in their special assembly

Janis: Well done for paying attention, come in handy for you not freaking out when you encounter it

Casey: 😏 yeah, so it’s alright if that’s why you’re being mardy

Janis: feminist of the year right here

Casey: I reckon my nose’s broke, we’re probably about even bleeding wise

Janis: Look like you’re on the football team

Janis: do you want it resetting or what

Casey: I had a go but it was having none of it

Janis: It’s harder to sort yourself

Janis: just sit on your hands when I give it a shot

Casey: sound like your shit nan with that advice

Janis: 😂 That’s real wishful thinking

Janis: only after saving my own nose, weird to be matching on that one

Casey: I’d not smack you, you’re alright

Janis: it’s just a reflex

Casey: it’s happened before, I never smacked Jim then and you know I’d take any excuse

Janis: ‘Course

Janis: there you go then, go mental 🤚🖐

Casey: this’ll be 3rd time, lucky you or lucky me, either or

Janis: You’ll heal beautifully then, no worries

Janis: any good stories or nah?

Casey: same story, so nah

Janis: He’s predictable

Casey: bones break easier the more they do, he’s getting older, he needs the hand

Janis: Yeah, my ankles never been the same, absolute joke

Janis: what about the rest of you?

Casey: Joke how you broke it in the 1st place, mate

Janis: beyond embarrassing is right

Casey: for him

Casey: what sort of lad

Janis: Shh, or I’ll make your nose worse for a laugh

Casey: go on then

Janis: 😏

Casey: I’ll blame [a different dog who is a little shit] see what cash his owners’ll chuck us to shut me up

Janis: *fix it, you’d be a nightmare if I ruined your pulling chances

Casey: lasses love a scar and that, I’ll be well in

Janis: right, a scar, not a picasso painting

Casey: [some weird girl who is known throughout the school for being lol] would fancy us

Janis: What a perfect match, n’awh

Casey: oi, piss off, you’re meant to be a mate, say I can do better

Janis: your ego needs no help, I know that about you

Casey: come on, a lass is about to sort my 👃 ‘cause I couldn’t

Casey: ego’s most bruised of all of me

Janis: 🥺 boy

Casey: make me feel better, like

Janis: 😤😠😡🤬 when I try, more like, barely got away with painkillers and a checkup

Casey: don’t sound like me

Janis: perfect patient now you like the sound of it, be about right

Casey: 😤😠😡🤬’s gone

Janis: I was always going to bring [some of his fave treats] an’ all

Casey: Have you got loads more work to piss off to

Janis: Only had this morning lot and an evening walk today so, no

Casey: can you hang about then, for a bit

Janis: ‘course, if you unlock the door for me

Janis: Better not break in

Casey: it’d really cheer me up if you broke a window or something though

Janis: 😌

Janis: if you’re lucky, and up to it

Casey: 3rd time, remember, ‘course I am

Janis: ☘️ right at home, you

Casey: feels like it

Janis: I’ll let you choose what we’re watching, as your fake therapist has really tainted a cuppa as a peace offering

Casey: Face/off

Janis: 🤣 fuck’s sake, too good a shout, even if I have to put up with Nick Cage and John Travolta

Casey: mate, you can’t get enough of Hairspray, I’ve seen you

Janis: Maybe you would be if it were about YOUR civil rights, arsehole

Casey: 😂

Casey: nowt to do with Zac Efron, obviously

Janis: Before he got all ‘roided out and ugly 💔

Casey: we had a PE teacher on it at my old school, too easy to wind up, him

Janis: I mean, you’d have a lot to cry about if you had cystic acne, no hair and shrunken balls

Casey: and it were all to teach kids to climb a rope, no olympics or nothing

Janis: What a waste

Casey: northern kids at that

Janis: Imagine looking like a junkie with your trackmarks for that

Casey: fucking hell, feel top about the state of my life now, tah sir

Janis: An inspiration after all

Casey: even ending up in prison how Lucas’ inspirational speech reckons don’t sound as shit in comparison, like

Janis: 🙄 he knows if he ends up behind bars he’s not lasting a day, full of shit, like

Casey: worth going to track him down in the nonce block

Janis: you’re not going anywhere

Casey: not to English for ages

Janis: if that’s meant to be punishment, a shit one

Casey: all he does is pick on us to read shit out to the class anyway

Janis: you should ask to move class, fuck him

Janis: make them put you in [another teacher’s class] she’s easy as

Casey: said she’s too scared to have me in hers

Janis: so’s he, why should he be the one always getting a table to the chin

Janis: just don’t go

Casey: alright, write us a note before you finish with your happy families bollocks and chuck Jim and our kid out

Janis: They’re that useless, used my dad’s signature until he pegged it like he had anything to do with us

Janis: s’not that simple, is it

Casey: Isn’t it?

Janis: yous are an actual family, that’s more important

Casey: we haven’t been since she nipped out to the shops, if you’re doing it for that, don’t, pissed up the wall long before you

Janis: It just don’t feel right

Casey: keep on telling you being with him’s a massive mistake, be why

Janis: I don’t know why you do

Casey: I’m your mate and you deserve better

Janis: Everyone knows good friends lie shamelessly to your face

Casey: I don’t, he’s not good enough for nobody, nevermind you

Janis: He’s far better than me, at this, you just don’t know about it

Casey: I know him and I know you

Janis: it’s just different when you get to be alone with someone

Casey: yeah

Janis: It’ll be alright, my nan lives close enough, I’ll just crash there

Casey: Tell her hey from us 😏

Janis: If I must 😒

Casey: buzzing to be close by if she needs me

Janis: You’ll want to develop some useful skills first, mate

Casey: I’ve loads, YOU just don’t know about it

Janis: Thank God, like

Casey: go on, protest harder

Janis: making me sick ain’t gonna change who’s nursing who here, soz

Casey: 🤏

Janis: I didn’t bring supplies for two

Casey: you’re alright, holding hair back and that’s one of my skills

Casey: and I get wanting a demo of some of ‘em

Janis: Ridiculous, you are

Janis: and my stomach is stronger than that, clearly all the blood I’ve seen

Casey: another time, I’m off nowhere

Janis: don’t think they let you visit two at once so, best behaviour

Casey: okay

Janis: that wasn’t so hard, was it

Casey: Who else has been going round saying I’m hard work

Janis: Obviously confused you with some other gobby little twat

Casey: dickheads

Janis: can’t trust the way people chat ‘round here, like

Casey: you can me

Janis: it’s mutual, even when you’re not after hearing it

Casey: least half the time then

Janis: You and your mood swings

Casey: I dunno about that

Casey: you and the bollocks you chat, more like

Janis: 😏

Janis: something like that

Casey: Any chance you take this fucking dog to your fit nan’s with you

Janis: You’d miss her, don’t lie

Casey: not miss her climbing the bloody walls at the minute, doing my head in

Janis: I’ll take her for a run when I get there

Casey: *we’ll

Janis: maybe, if you don’t look like shit

Casey: dog walkers find bodies, they’ve seen worse

Janis: I’ve got a reputation to maintain

Casey: oi

Janis: 😉

Janis: fresh air will probably do you good really, works for everything, like tea

Casey: kettle’ll be on when you’re here, no need for you to miss out ‘cause of [whatever the school therapist’s first name is]

Janis: Tah, she’s ruined enough, can’t let her have that proper

Casey: Put her arm round me again

Janis: Fucking hell, what is wrong with this school

Casey: other than the massive nonce ring or what

Janis: you’re going to be leaving with more trauma if she has anything to do with it

Casey: she’s 🤞

Janis: like hell

Casey: depends if she’s a fan of that picasso twat or nah

Janis: If she wants her own face rearranging, can’t really blame her

Casey: can’t all be the fittest lass in the whole of Dublin

Janis: she could try a 🤏 harder if she’s going to be a creep

Casey: would make it alright to try and nonce us then, yeah

Janis: Exactly

Casey: least dye her hair so she’s my type, dropped enough hints

Janis: You’re unimaginative, it couldn’t be easier

Casey: tah for the backhander there after I’ve said I’ll not smack you

Janis: yeah, you know it’s true anyway, nothing wrong with being basic, babes

Casey: steady on, babes, I didn’t promise owt as far as hair pulling and the rest lasses do

Janis: ha, try it

Casey: piss easy target how much there is, wouldn’t have to try very hard

Janis: you who wants to fight dirty, hurts more on shorter hair so your loss in the end

Casey: you who started it, and you’d have to grab hold 1st

Janis: piss easy, you’ve a giant head

Casey: me, that’s a mirror you’ve gone past, girl

Janis: don’t think so, usually get stuck in front of those for ages 🙃

Casey: can’t blame you

Janis: won’t need to, done the last drop so I’m officially on my way

Casey: [name drop that dog as if there’s a ? but there isn’t not because you don’t use them for some reason sir but because you know her schedule like that]

Janis: yep, gutted you weren’t there to tuck him in, obviously, but he dealt with it being me instead

Casey: dunno how lucky he is, I’ll have a word [whenever you’re walking this dog next]

Janis: tah very much, like

Janis: Twix will be buzzing to see me, even if that means rushing her out the door about it

Casey: she’s missed you

Janis: it’s mutual too

Casey: she don’t get where you’ve gone, just why

Janis: Wish you could explain to them

Janis: the kids will wanna walk her at the weekend, I’m sure

Casey: I’ll explain to him I fell off my bike or something

Janis: yeah, he’s not going to put it together, not seeing it

Janis: it’ll be alright

Casey: it was a good shout last time, long as it don’t put him off riding his how it did then or he’ll never learn

Janis: sort you out, he might think it looks cool too

Casey: be chucking himself off instead

Janis: little scrapes and dirt never hurt no one

Casey: used to eat it, me, from what I’ve heard

Janis: I believe it

Casey: and sand, but I don’t remember going the beach before Skerries, so

Janis: dunno if I’m gutted or pleased you didn’t go for it there

Casey: you’re gutted, don’t lie

Janis: yeah, clearly weren’t having a good enough time 👶🥳

Casey: have to take me back

Janis: ‘course, not like it costs nothing more, and for half the problems

Casey: I’ve had the idea of taking myself sometimes, jumping on a train and that

Janis: I can tell you when no one is there, it’s most the time anyway

Casey: tah, I’ve times in my head, depends if they match up

Janis: 🤞 I get it

Casey: I know

Janis: Libi’s old enough to make me feel bad now though, weren’t a problem when she was a baby

Casey: trick is to make yourself feel worse, no dickhead can touch you if you do

Janis: I know

Casey: our kid won’t be bothered when I piss off, he’ll be chuffed to see the back of me, another of my skills, that

Janis: Only the half the time you’re acting like your dad

Casey: no act, they just spend too much time hoping there is, give him more and he’ll work it out

Janis: 50/50 on one of us being right

Casey: I am like him, ask your boyfriend how long he’s spent convinced

Janis: You can be whoever you want, I reckon

Casey: I reckon you’ll be off again if we don’t change the subject

Janis: You’ve learnt nothing if you reckon I’m that easily put off but alright, change it

Casey: you was the other day

Janis: Not by you, by myself

Casey: what for

Janis: I didn’t have no good answers, was annoying myself, never mind you

Casey: I’m not after answers from you

Janis: That’s all I’m good for so that’s shit

Casey: bollocks are you, whoever’s told you that’s a massive bellend

Janis: cheers, I’ll keep it in mind

Casey: there’s no all you’re good for, you don’t even have to be good at owt to be my mate, weren’t auditions

Janis: I dunno, I just feel useless when I can’t tell people what to do, you know

Casey: it ain’t your fault there’s sod all to be done sometimes

Janis: maybe not but fucking hate it all the same 🎻🎻

Casey: my dad’s got no answers and he’s a grown man, it’s alright if you’ve none, for this or whatever else

Janis: Not the most favourable comparison you could chuck at us but appreciate the sentiment

Casey: you get what I mean

Janis: if anyone has any time for him, it is you, so

Casey: I don’t need you fixing it, you can’t

Janis: fine, fine, don’t expect me to be 😁 about it though

Casey: none of us are, like, I’d love if you could chuck a solution at me but there ain’t

Janis: Give me time

Casey: I’d be putting on pressure, you heard, it’s not up to you to sort our heads, where we are and how we ended up here, how fucked shit can be

Janis: what are friends for, what sort of shit one would I be if I didn’t care about none of that

Casey: they’re for taking my mind off it

Janis: I’ll shut up and get a move on, understood

Casey: things can be good too, I care about that, and loads of it’s down to you when they are

Janis: ☀️ you, always surprises me

Casey: you

Janis: don’t take the piss

Casey: I’m not, I can keep myself going, but I’m not off nowhere, it’s you dragging me about, making it so I fancy moving in the 1st place

Janis: We’ve got to stick together

Casey: yeah, I shouldn’t of never said before I didn’t need your help

Janis: I won’t make you admit it in your current state, my ego isn’t too damaged, like

Casey: I’ve admitted it, you can have at that

Janis: 🏆🥇 is a win but

Janis: I don’t know, I wanted to make things easier, I thought it would, them and me out of your way

Casey: it does

Janis: Do you want them to stay away or come back, be honest

Casey: what would I want them about for

Janis: To not have to deal with your dad alone

Casey: what else was you reckoning I said were easier on my own

Casey: it’s best I sort him out myself, we get on

Janis: That’s what I thought

Janis: but not if it’s a full-time job, like

Casey: Jim’s told you it is ‘cause he can’t hack it, I can

Janis: He still has to look after Bobby

Janis: probably as fair a trade-off as we’re getting, yeah?

Casey: and make ☕️ for your sister and her mates

Janis: you help with the dogs more, ‘til you decide you wanna try and find yourself another job

Casey: no need, I like the job you’ve given us

Janis: Good

Janis: I don’t know how much help Bob would be, even after relevant training, like

Casey: only after showing off to his little girlfriend, him

Casey: can’t be trusted with much else

Janis: and show-off was already her middle name, quite the duo

Casey: fancy a picture drawn of a dog for a missing poster he’s your man, long as you don’t ask why it’s gone, like

Janis: Could start charging ransom, long as we keep it infrequent enough

Janis: sinister that it’s in crayon and got loads of mistakes in the note

Casey: he’s having none of the money though

Janis: He’s no need for it

Casey: nor does his missus what he’d buy her

Janis: her room’s like a toy shop, I swear

Janis: everyone’s overcompensating

Casey: I had [something expensive af that he’d want at the age he was when his mum vanished] bought for me

Janis: Fair play, didn’t totally waste the opportunity

Casey: can’t cash in on her being dead yet, might do one day

Janis: Did she have money?

Janis: Edie and Liam didn’t, nothing worth mentioning, obviously

Casey: owt from her part time job she spent soon as earned it, said that’s what it were for

Janis: right, they were the same

Janis: Savings and life insurance are for proper grown-ups and rich people

Casey: [name drop the richest of the people you dog walk for as an example]

Janis: They would be worth killing, deffo

Casey: you know where I am

Janis: en-route but it’ll have to wait, we’ve got a full schedule today, like

Casey: tonight then

Janis: cover of night, obviously

Janis: only catch one of them having their lunch-time affair at a time

Casey: alright, catch ‘em covering it up by being all over the dickhead they married instead

Janis: you’ll be 🤒 all over again

Casey: be like watching that scene in [a movie with some kind of cringey sex scene in it to take the piss out of these posh people]

Janis: 🥴🥴🥴 can feel the cameraman heavy breathing down the poor actresses neck in that one, Jesus

Casey: you’d know all about that, should bring up happiest of memories for you

Janis: shut up 😏🙄

Janis: insulting to me as well as him as a comparison, that

Casey: everyone’s insulted you’re with him, girl, take your own turn

Janis: no one more than my sister and her mates, probably

Casey: there you go, your 1 pro, knew we’d find something if we kept on and on for ages

Janis: I’ll only make you suffer through that when you deserve it, a good mate like that

Casey: when you’ve managed to put a list together, more like

Casey: expecting to be a proper grown up if not on my death bed by the time

Janis: come on, you’ll never be a proper grown up

Casey: might, rich an’ all

Janis: oh yeah?

Janis: well, if the murder/kidnap game pans out, we’ll both be that

Casey: kept between us how would it balls up

Janis: Have to be, Libi can tell the entire class, even if he’d be playing charades about it

Janis: can’t be trusted

Casey: nor can [the name of the cameraman in that film he’s just looked up for Jimothy shade lol lol]

Janis: I don’t even know who that is but none of your mates, that’s a blatant given

Casey: just me and you, mate

Janis: 🥷🥷 no one else has put in the time and won the 🐶🐶 over, be dangerous

Casey: exactly, you’re not a liability

Janis: might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me

Casey: hold tight of it, dunno what I’ll say when you’re resetting my broke nose

Janis: shan’t be the one crying at any rate, you’re alright

Janis: leave my headphones in if you’re proper getting into it

Casey: [not him just namedropping her fave song of the moment right here and right now because he’s noticed her listening to it a lot like when they go running and stuff, like yeah, that song, I know]

Janis: 😌

Janis: I promise I’ll be quick, no mucking about

Casey: you’re no messer like rest of the lasses I know

Janis: The only other lass you know who MIGHT be able to hack this is the school nurse

Janis: and I doubt she’s got the medical training

Casey: bit rude of me to ask ‘em to, to be fair

Janis: as a first date, yeah, bit intense

Casey: wait til 3rd at least, weren’t totally dragged up

Janis: such a gentleman 🤵

Casey: 😏

Janis: and you’ll be glad to have the place to yourself then too

Casey: nah, use her place and find out the state of it, every dickhead knows that

Janis: What for?

Casey: see if she’s worth going back to

Janis: ahh, I see

Casey: I ain’t bothered about being her bit of rough

Casey: especially if she’s no dad about

Janis: Unimaginative, think that’s what I said

Casey: what would you have me look for in a girl

Janis: You may as well aim high 💸 don’t know why you’re insisting on daddy issues though

Casey: yeah you do, it’s well known why

Janis: 😒

Casey: aim high you said

Janis: you’re grim, change the subject

Casey: To what

Janis: I’d say use your imagination but not right now, clearly

Casey: I’ve none, you’ve said twice

Janis: Not your fault, no lads your age do

Casey: as told by the expert of lads my age

Janis: let [the school counsellor] have that title

Casey: I ain’t grim enough to go on a date with her, tah

Janis: argue it’s not a date when it’s also a crime

Casey: could have your say in court but never get there, I’d be off with the hush money

Janis: on her salary? Please

Casey: doubt it comes out her pocket, be the higher ups paying

Janis: explains where the budget goes

Casey: You’re on about me using my imagination as if you’re not already meant to be in the door, what you playing at

Janis: helping you flex that muscle, along with learning some patience, obviously

Janis: Hold on, boy

Casey: teacher I should’ve had, I get it

Janis: Anyone is better than Lucas

Casey: there’s your shit comparison what insults you more than him

Janis: basically an accusation, dickhead, careful with that talk, yeah

Casey: I never chucked nowt, you who said it

Janis: Hmm

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molianno · 1 year ago

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The Benefits of Consistent Early Bedtime for Your Skin

Let's talk about the perks of making early bedtime a regular habit and how it can affect your skin. I've been through both phases—years of late nights and late mornings (getting up at 9 AM, sleeping at 1 AM) and another phase of two years with early nights and early mornings (rising at 5 AM due to work, sleeping at 8 PM). Trust me, the difference in my mental state was like night and day, and I'm not exaggerating.

After a long period of staying up late, I would wake up in the morning with noticeable dark circles and a grainy texture on my skin. It felt like touching sandpaper. Plus, I seemed to break out almost every week. Looking at myself in the mirror, I could see a lack of vitality and radiance. It wasn't a pretty sight.

Now, during the phase of consistent early bedtime, my energy levels are through the roof. The most remarkable change is in my skin's texture—when I run my fingers across my face, it's incredibly smooth, almost like touching a piece of paper. And here's the best part: I haven't had a single breakout in two years. My complexion has improved so much that my clothes look better on me. On top of that, my skin has become noticeably brighter.

This is not just a hypothetical concept; it's my real experience. So, if you're looking for smoother, clearer, and more radiant skin, give consistent early bedtime a try. Your skin will thank you for it!

0 notes

whatudowhennooneseesyou · 2 years ago

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Mommytober 2022 Series-'Precious Little Star'

Day 1: Comfort Sex w Mommy!Seonghwa (Ateez)

Dom Seonghwa+ Sub!fem reader

Disclaimer: This is pure filth & does not represent Park Seonghwa accurately in any manner.

18+ Only

This is my fav day to write b/c y'all know how much I love Mommy!Seonghwa & I am going to try & not make this a whole novella!

Party inspired by @hongism Kinktober fic from 2021, the very first Mommy Seonghwa fic I've read that started my love for this fantasy.

Content Includes: Mommy!Seonghwa, slight angst?, nightmares, desperate & needy reader, praise, fluff, anxiety, honestly it's just love-making.

'S-Seonghwa??' You whispered.

'Mmm?' A deep hum vibrated from his chest, his eyes opening and blinking a few times to led the fog of sleep clear.

'I had a nightmare' your voice choked out, tears pooling in your eyes, a sheen of anxiety coating your skin.

Seonghwa immediately pulled you closer to him, 'I'm so sorry baby, come here my love' as he wrapped his arms around you, one tangled in your hair, the other gripped around your back.

'Try and go back to sleep my love, Mommy's here' He whispered into your ear, the heartbeat in his chest already calming down the ropes of tension that were bound across your chest.

It wasn't enough, you needed more.

Soft, hasty kisses were being placed across his neck as you breathed his scent in, your hips slowly grinding into him, fingers tugging at his cotton t-shirt.

'Mommy, please, please I need you' you panted in his ear, voice quivering from how desperate you were as you slid your hands under his shirt & rubbed his chest.

Seongwha let out a moan as his brain starting to put two & two together & you could feel his hardness against you. He grabbed your hips and pulled you towards him more so you were pressed tight & he grinded his hips against yours.

'You need Mommy's cock don't you? Do you need it so badly you're willing to wake me up for it?' His eyes darkened with lust, a smirk across his face. He loved it when you were needy like this, so desperate to please, so desperate for his touch.

He was just as gone as you, except he hid it with teasing & self-control.

You clutched your fingers to his hair, tongue swiping across his bottom lip, asking for permission.

His fingers tilted your chin up, 'you didn't answer my question' the tone was soft but a warning, you could hear the edge behind it, your heart speeding up but for an entirely reason.

'I-I want your cock inside of me. I need it. Please, please Mommy, I want it so much' you whined & pleaded, nothing felt better than when Seonghwa fucked his love into you.

'Lie back for me sweetheart' he responded as he cupped your face, a small nod & a warm smile indicating you were going to get what you desired.

Clothes were strewn everywhere, barely remembering the frenzy of removing everything, all you could remember was him chuckling as you removed his shirt & pulled his pants down.

He would never tell you but these moments where he could feel the ache, your love & your desire radiating from every fibre of your body.

It was better than the air he breathed.

Seonghwa settled on top of you, your legs already wrapped around his waist, your head buried in his chest, fingernails digging into his back as you held him skin to skin, you wanted him to suffocate you with his love & care.

His hand stroking your hair, the other placed beside your head to hold himself up. You could see the love in his eyes, the comfort, his care radiating from the warmth of his skin.

A soft kiss placed upon your lips, a few pecks led to fervent need, his tongue swiping & licking around the roof of your mouth, his hard cock so close to filling you.

His hand softly, slowly, almost teasingly trailed down your body, finger pads dipping through the middle of your chest, over your belly button & swiping through your folds, the squelch of how wet you are resounding through the room.

'Oh look at you, already so wet for me and I've barely even touched you' Eyebrow raised, voice husky with sleep, a glint of humour in his face.

You shook your head feverishly 'P-please, just fuck me, fill me up, cum in me' your voice & body trembling from how badly you desired this, you surely would die if he wasn't inside of you within the next minute.

His thumb stroked your cheek, eyes filled with love, a chaste but loving kiss pressed to your mouth.

'Shh, it's okay, Mommy always spoils you don't I? he cooed, planting sloppy kisses on your collarbones to distract you as he rubbed slow circles across your clit.

Once he felt you were ready, he held himself up as he reached down to guide his cock into you, eyes pouring love and desire into yours.

A breathy hiss rumbled from his throat as he bottomed out,

'Fuck you're such a good girl for Mommy, always so tight and wet for me.'

A loud moan of surprise echoed in the room, you clutched onto his shoulders as you felt the stretch, you could feel his kisses on your nose, cheeks & forehead as he waited for you to adjust, knowing it would take a little bit more time as he entered you with little prep & all the way in.

'Mmmh, please move' you whispered, a gasp leaving your throat as he slowly moved in & out of you, his thrusts slow & languid.

You loved how special you felt when Seonghwa made love to you.

But tonight wasn't one of those nights.

Tonight you needed Mommy to fuck the pain away.

You didn't want to think, you didn't want to remember, you just wanted to feel the stretch and the heat of his cock thrusting the memory of the nightmare out of you.

You pulled his hips towards you more, rutting against him, trying to coax him inside of you more. Mewls, whines & whimpers of 'please' spoken into his chest.

Seonghwa pulled away from you, grabbed both of your hands & pinned them beside your head, a warning glare in his eyes.

'You're not being a good girl right now sweetheart, don't you want Mommy to make you feel better?' His tone was loving but you knew he was being serious.

Your bottom lip quivered, were you being too much? Your eyes becoming glassy, 'I..I'm sorry'.

Seonghwa's eyes immediately changed, brow furrowed in concerned as he immediately leaned down to kiss you, his lips breathing reassurance into you, his thumb stroking the side of your wrist.

'You're not in trouble sweetheart, I want you to relax. Just let me lead okay?'

You nodded, you took a deep breath as you loosened your ankles around his hips, the tension slowly dissipating.

Once he could feel you had settled, he slowly resumed his pace, removing his hands from your wrists & framed his elbows around your face, one supporting him, the other rubbing the side of your waist.

Soft kisses were placed on your jawline, his head buried in your neck, lips pressed against the shell of your ear.

My precious little star, mmmh? Let Mommy take care of you, let me fuck the fear away. '

Taglist: @seungminluv3 @hongthoven @8tinytings @iliana26 @mischiefsmind @vernon-s-whore @smiley-sheep @honeyhotteoks

Please comment and reblog! I hope you all enjoyed the first day.

#ateez smut #ateez hard hours #kpop smut #seonghwa smut #park seonghwa #kinktober 2022 #park seonghwa scenarios #park seonghwa x reader #mommy!seonghwa #ateez drabbles #ateez oneshot #ateez fluff #i cried writing this #I just want to experience this so badly #everyone needs to hop on the mommy!Seonghwa bandwagon #i love this so much #kpop kinktober #mommytober 2022

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uwowrites · 3 years ago

Note

HI AGAIN i just read the request i did and i loved it 😭💕

i told you i have a lot of ideas but what do you think about the boss confessing? like a part 2, but after confessing the reader just notices how sensitive the boss is after basically spilling his feelings out of his mouth so he decides to take care of him this time. i imagine the reader running his hands trough the bosses hair while he lays on his lap and telling him he shouldn't be so hard on himself, i feel like the boss should need a lot of reassurance from the reader, a kiss would be cute too. thanks! ♡

I am glad you liked it! Sorry this oneshot took so long!

Part 1 here

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Deserve you (Part 2)

Y/N's eyes fluttered open as he slowly started to wake up. Stretching in bed, he glanced around his room before realizing Boss was gone. Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, he sat for a while and took a deep breath in, while placing his face in his hands. He took notice of the way he felt much better as compared to the night before.

While wiping sleep from his eyes, he noticed a white paper folded neatly next to a pill and glass of water on his bedside table. A small smile appeared over his face as he unfolded the paper.

Don't exert yourself. Take some rest and don't worry about patrol. If you need my our help, just call out any of our names and we will be there.

-Boss

After placing the paper down, he took the pill and downed the glass of water. He got out of bed and made his way to the kitchen to make breakfast. Despite not being in the mood to cook, he knew it had to be done. After a moment of trying to remember the ingredients he had in his kitchen, he notices a cloche on a plate on the table. Lifting the cloche up, he sees a stack of three pancakes with maple syrup and whipped cream on top. Feeling touched by the gesture, he sat down and ate his food.

He shot a quick text to his human boss at work. After informing him of his absence, he picked up his plate, sat on his couch and turned on the television.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Standing on the building, Boss leaned against the railing and looked at the ground as he let out a sigh. He grew absorbed in his thoughts, tightening his grip on his fan. Ever since he spoke to River the night before, he has been trying to sort out his thoughts.

"That's a pretty interesting floor." a voice perked up from behind him, startling the ghost a bit. His face was dotted with a small smile as he turned around to see Y/N floating in the air.

"Shouldn't you be resting?" the ghost asked.

"Nah. I'm fine now. I kinda got bored at home and missed you so I thought I'd pay a visit."

His eyes widened for a fraction of a second, before he calmed his nerves. He huffed, the smile never fading from his face.

"So, did something happen tonight?"

“No. Why do you say that?” Boss asked, his smile now fading into a frown.

"You're doing that thing where you cross your arms and drum your fingers against them when something is bothering you."

And, just like that, Boss was surprised for the third time that night. He didn't even know he had a 'tell' for when he was bothered. Not until Y/N pointed it out.

"Well, it's-" he trailed off. He wasn't sure if he could do this. He needed more time. He wrung his hands and looked at them while Y/N fazed through the railing and stood beside him. Everything felt so odd for the older ghost. He was unsure of how to proceed.

His train of thoughts wrecked as he felt a hand squeeze his reassuringly. He turned his head to face Y/N.

"How about we sit down? I doubt anyone's going to bother us up here." Y/N offered.

Boss hesitated before nodding. Not trusting his voice just yet. He was annoyed with himself. He has stopped dangerous monsters before and here he was struggling with his feelings. It was... annoying to say the least. The two sat down on the roof and leaned against the railing.

"I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and realized that there is something you need to know. Although I am worried about it affecting the way you perceive me. It may even make you uncomfortable." he started, pausing for a moment to check if the other was still with him.

"I seriously doubt that." Y/N replied, "But try me."

Feeling his heart beat fiercely against his chest, Boss focused on what he wished to convey, "Y/N I have done so many things in my past. Things which are unforgivable and cruel. Looking back at it now, there are many deeds which I wish I could take back. I feel as though I don't deserve what I have right now." Boss closed his eyes as he tried to focus on his breathing. He was unsure of why he was struggling to speak to Y/N.

"What? That's not true." Y/N interrupted, "Okay, maybe you might have done a lot of bad things in the past but you are trying your best to make up for it. That was the entire reason why you opened up the underworld office. And you have helped so many people and saved countless ghosts and mortals. So what could possibly be of such great value that you feel you don't deserve? "

"You." he replied, raising his voice by a bit on accident.

Y/N felt his eyes widen as he was taken aback. Boss was shocked as well, since this was not the way he thought the conversation would go.

Realizing there was no turning back, the head of the underworld office decided that it was time to be honest abut his feelings.

"I'll be honest. This wasn't the way I imagined my confession would go. But it's the truth. I like you Y/N and I really wish I never fell for you because the truth is I don't deserve you." he finished, as he waited for the mortal to reply.

"Of course you do. I just hope I deserve you."

He perked up and looked at Y/N. The latter smiled softly as he looked back at him.

"Your past doesn't define you. Your choices and actions in the present do. You are a kind man, who has done so many good things too. The way you take care of everyone speaks volumes about you. And it's one of the qualities I love about you." Y/N took his hands and squeezed them gently.

Boss felt his breath catch up in his throat.

Y/N loved him?

"Well, it's hard not to fall for you." Y/N chuckled making the Boss realize that he accidently said that part out loud.

"How can you see anything in me worth loving?"

Y/N lightly pulled Boss' head towards his lap before starting, "Well, how could I not? Your dark sense of humor or how you tend to take things so seriously are just examples of the few things I love about you. You inspire others, always moving forward and trying hard, despite being knocked down countless times. You are someone who is compassionate and caring. You stay calm in the most stressful situations and tend to be protective of those around you. I love the way you smile, despite it being so rare. And, I find it really admirable how you choose to recognize your mistakes and try to make up for it. And these are just the few things that I can think of from the top of my head. I could go on but I would be talking all night."

Y/N smiled at him as his fingers combed through the latter's hair before continuing, "I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. You may not think so, but you deserve to be loved too."

At that, Boss finally relaxed in Y/N's lap. He closed his eyes and smiled. Y/N laughed lightly at this as the two continued to relax in silence.

"Thank you, Y/N."

Y/N hummed as he moved Boss' bangs from his eyes.

"You should probably get some rest. River told me that you have been working non-stop since yesterday."

"I should be telling you to rest."

"Oh hush you. I am not the one who went patrolling tonight and stopped a monster in the morning."

He chuckled before taking one of Y/N's hands and held it. Y/N's smile grew wider as he ran his fingers through Boss' hair.

Boss could definitely get used to this.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N and Boss flew towards the former's home after Boss offered to drop the mortal home. The sun was almost up and the two were almost there. Boss quickly glanced at Y/N before reaching out to take the latter's hand, to the other's surprise. He quickly recovered and held the ghost's hand tight.

The flight home was quiet. Although neither needed to say anything to enjoy each other's company.

After a while, Y/N's home finally came to view and that's when the two realized they needed to part ways. As the two descended from the sky, they looked at each other. Clearly wanting to spend more time with one another. Alas, that wasn't possible as Boss needed to return to the office, otherwise the others would get worried.

"Thanks for dropping me home." Y/N said as he tightened his grip on Boss' hand.

"It was my pleasure Y/N."

Boss leaned forward and pecked Y/N's cheek, to which the latter lightly gasped in surprise. Boss smirked at that before bidding farewell and disappearing.

Y/N's hand flew to his cheek and if he could, he would've been blushing. Shaking his forehead, he looked over to the rising sun.

He was definitely getting back at Boss for that.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hope you liked pt.2! Thank you so much for being patient for this part!

#Underworld office #Boss #Boss x reader #underworld office x reader

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 4 years ago

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Northern Exposure | Something in the Air

❄ Part 1 of the mini-series ❄

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape (series); violence, creepiness on part of our boys, predatory behaviour, Bucky’s an asshole, they’re all too lonely and too desperate, mistaken identity.

This is dark! fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Pairings: Sam Wilson x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader, A Bad Time x Reader

Series Synopsis: You’re a nature photographer stationed up north but the arctic isolation comes to an unexpected and unpleasant end.

Note: I started this ages ago and finally got the energy to finish, it’s four parts and provided my life doesn’t continue to fuck around I should have em all up in the next days. Also as always, cracking away at all the other fics I’ve hooked you into.

Thanks to everyone for their patience and feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

The days were short and the nights long. So far north, time seemed not to exist as you chased the fleeting sun with your lens. Your existence was only demarcated by the fortnightly delivery of supplies left at your door as you were often out pursuing an elusive snow fox or wakeful owl. The world seemed small up here and you felt like the only person left alive.

Perched up on a branch precariously, you teetered as you focused your camera at its end. It was the perfect composition, snow blurred in the background as you focus on the scratching along the bark, the remnants of some owl or smaller critter. An abstract in your series, certainly, but interesting nonetheless. Besides, your editor would be happy enough with the close up you’d captured of a reindeer, its antlers the focal point of the shot.

Content, you climbed down, barely keeping yourself from slipping entirely down the trunk to a crash landing. Back on the ground, your boots sank into the snow, halfway up your calf, and you capped the lens of your camera. You tucked it under your parka and glanced around at the sparse grey trees.

Your eyes flew up as you heard a snap in branches not far from those you stood beneath. You held your breath and listened. It might be another opportunity. The early flight of an owl. You followed the sound, your steps muffled by the snowy carpet below. But that natural silence of the arctic returned and you ended up searching for air. Not a noise.

You sighed and turned back to look at the horizon. It was growing dark and you were best to return to your little cabin before long. It would be a moonless night and without the silver guardian above, it would make a nocturnal trek even harder. As you took a step, it seemed to echo and you stopped again. Your ears perked up and you shifted your hat to hear a bit better.

There was nothing. You frowned and turned. Only the snow and the trees against the greying sky. You shrugged off your unusual paranoia and carried on. You took the treacherous path back to your remote habitat. It was just you and your cameras; you and the north. An assignment you’d loathed at first but come to cherish. Isolation had a keen way of introducing one’s self to them.

You stepped up onto the small porch, the aluminum roofing and the tarnished and dented siding made it seem like little more than a lost shed. There was a single room inside, a small bed with a woven blanket, a wooden counter with an old basin and a stove top run on gas. The out house was further back, hard to find in a storm, but as long as you counted your steps, you rarely got lost.

You pushed through and turned the wooden latch that held the door shut. You untied your boots on the salt-stained rubber mat and left them there as you hung your damp, cold parka and shed your thick snow pants. You took off your hat and gloves and left them on the small shelf beneath the hook.

You took out a can of chili and dumped it in the small scratched pan. You lit the burner and sat on the single chair built of logs as you waited for it to warm. The wind swept up outside the shuttered windows and you shivered. You went to the small woodstove and twisted the iron handle of the door. You carefully built a fire as the smell of your dinner filled the cabin.

You left the door of the stove open to heat up the place and turned off the burner. You moved the pot onto the counter and took a bowl from the cupboard. A distant clatter sounded from outside. You frowned and kept yourself from grabbing the pot. You sighed as the noise repeated.

Several times before the wind had torn open the outhouse door and slammed it back and forth throughout the night. One time, it had been a curious bear. You hoped for the former as you shoved your feet into your boots and haphazardly pulled on your jacket. In and out. You’d secure the door and be back for your dinner before it got cold.

Outside, the sky had almost darkened entirely. You clicked on the flashlight you kept by the door and shut it behind you. You stomped down into the snow and squinted at the circle of light as you rounded the edge of the house. You neared the outhouse and sighed as you found it locked up tight. It couldn’t have been your imagination; you’d heard something.

You huffed and turned back. You swept the flashlight back and forth as you searched for a creature sneaking around or whatever item the wind had tried to carry away. There was nothing. You followed your footprints back to the house and climbed up the steps.

The door was open and you noticed the much larger puddled footprint on the porch too late. The fire had been snuffed and the single lantern was dead. Your wrist was grabbed as you tried to angle the flashlight around the room and you were drawn inside and pinned against the door.

A cold barrel pressed to your chin and your eyes widened. Your arm was twisted up until the flashlight blinded you and lit the unfamiliar face before you. You blinked and shook your head helplessly.

“Quite the hiding spot,” The deep voice added to the icy nip of the air.

“What--”

“Don’t try to act dumb. It might’ve worked with Wilson but not me.” He snarled and you released the flashlight as you tried to wriggle free. “Stop!”

The light fell to the floor and bounced as he wrenched your arm up and pushed the gun harder under your chin.

“I have orders to take you alive… if I can,” he sneered, “doesn’t mean I will.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you grunted as he had you on tip toes against the wall, the flash light rolled on the floor and sent shadows around the room, “I’m not… I’m not whoever you think I am.”

“Save it, Ursa,” he hissed and pulled you away from the wall, gun still taut to your skin, “0r should I say Astur.”

“No, no, it’s not me,” you pleaded, confused as he turned you away from him and angled you towards the bed, the muzzle now pressed to the back of your head. “I’m just a photographer. You’ll see. Look through my stuff. It’s just cameras and photos. It’s--”

“Shut up,” he pushed on the back of your knees with his, “on your stomach.”

You got down, barely able to see and unwilling to resist with a bullet waiting behind you. He pushed you into the mattress until you were still. He pulled back the gun and planted his knee on your back as he held you down. He holstered his firearm then pulled your arm back behind you and then the other. He used a zip tie to secure your hands there before he did the same to your ankles.

He carefully stepped back and you turned your head to watch his shadow. He didn’t bother with the flashlight as he closed the door. Then he turned and kicked the light so it cracked and the bulb died. He sat in the chair, it groaned dangerously under him.

You could see little of him as all light was gone but for the sudden glow of a screen before him. You only saw the glint of his blue eyes before he put it against his cheek. You turned onto your side and he growled.

“Don’t even think of moving,” he warned. “Hey,” he spoke into the speaker. “I just sent the coordinates. Target secured.” He listened, “by morning?”

He pulled the phone away and dimmed the screen. You could only hear the wind as he sat there and you sensed his unwavering gaze in the dark. With your jacket undone and your boots untied, you felt the draft that blew through the cabin walls. You shivered and he let out a thick breath. A snarl almost.

“I really don’t know what’s going on,” you said.

“Shut up,” he snapped.

“I mean it. You have to look. Look around, you’ll see,” you pleaded.

He snorted and didn’t move. You rolled your eyes helplessly and another chill ran through you.

“Please--”

“I already looked. When you were out climbing trees,” he intoned. “I saw the photos. Very thorough reconnaissance.”

“What? Pictures of birds and snowflakes?” You uttered.

“You’re good. That whole innocent ploy is convincing,” you heard his boot drag over the wooden floor, “almost.”

You deflated, your wrists chafed and your teeth chattered.

“You gonna wait all night… for whoever that was?”

“I’m tired of telling you to shut up.”

“You leave me like this, I’ll freeze to death. You too.”

“I won’t,” he said, “you might.”

“You said you had orders.”

“Circumstantial,” he countered.

You exhaled deeply and bent your legs as you tried to curl into yourself. He tutted and stood, the floor creaked. The stove door whined and you heard the iron poker against the kindling. He mumbled as he relit the fire and stirred it until the biggest log caught. He rose and set aside the poker and resumed his seat.

The fire’s amber haze limned his figure in the dark. His broad shoulders were wider than the back of the chair, his long hair poked out from beneath a wool cap, and his hand formed a tight fist on the arm. He leaned his head back and sniffed.

“There,” he said sharply, “nice and cozy.”

You wiggled on the bed, trying to get comfortable. You pulled on your wrists and ankles and only caused your hands and feet to throb. You grunted and relented, resigning yourself to lay listless atop the thin mattress.

“You’re wasting your time--”

“I’m about to shove your sock in your mouth so I suggest you shut the fuck up,” he barked.

You gulped and closed your eyes in surrender. Well, maybe his friends would realise his mistake. Or maybe they’d just add to your predicament.

❄

You didn’t really sleep, you languished. The man didn’t either. You could tell. He just watched. Frighteningly patient as the night critters made a ruckus outside. He barely even moved as you fidgeted, your shoulders sore and your legs cramping.

Then there was a sudden change that even you felt. A heavy pair of boots climbed up onto the porch and the handle jiggled, the door stopped by the wooden latch. The man rose and crossed to the door. You heard the subtle brush of fabric and metal as he pulled out his gun. He pulled open the door slowly, at the ready, the slightly lesser dark seeping in.

“Sooner than I thought,” the man greeted his comrade. Your heart froze as another set of footfalls followed. A third man entered behind the second.

“Jesus, why are you sitting here in the dark?” The third man asked, “there a light or something?”

“She’s on the bed.” The first man grumbled. “Only a rifle hidden under there. I already disarmed it.”

The sudden electric glow of the lantern bloomed to life. Your eyes slowly adjusted as you stared at the three men. There were all big, all broad-shouldered, all stood like soldiers as they communed around the only chair. The third, the one who’d clicked the lantern on, neared you.

“She’s putting on a front, but--” the first man began and the third one raised his hand to silence him as he knelt by the bed.

He had a kind face, his brown eyes were warm, and the finely trimmed goatee lent him a sense of lightheartedness. His expression however was hard and turned to confusion then disappointment as he held the lantern close and grabbed your chin, turning your head back and forth.

“Not her,” he released you and stood, “fucking Christ, Bucky. It’s not fucking her.”

The second man snorted, “really?”

“It’s gotta be--” the first insisted, “the gun--”

“For hunting,” you said dully, “not that I do much of that. I use it to scare away the wolves.”

“Shut up.” He snarled and crossed his arms as he turned his back to you, “you’re sure?”

“I wouldn’t forget the woman who nearly slit my throat. Twice.” The other said, “and really? A single rifle? You think that’s all she’d have?”

“She has photos too. The bunker, due north. She’s got dozens.” The first insisted.

“Bunker?” You whispered.

“I’m not going to tell you to shut it again,” the man turned as he raised a hand and the blond, the one who hadn’t said much at all, caught his wrist.

“Hey,” the other man warned, “she’s innocent. She probably has no idea what she was taking pictures of.”

“Yeah, but now she knows our faces. No doubt recognizes you, pretty boy,”tThe third offered, “and idiot here assaulted her and tied her up.”

“All the way up here? Who’s she gonna tell?” The blonde returned.

“She has a radio,” The first, Bucky offered. “It’d be enough to give us away.”

“They’d believe her? If she’s been up here long, they might not.” The blonde glanced over the others shoulder, “you apologize and we can--”

“You really wanna leave another loose end?” Bucky challenged as he blocked his gaze.

“You should’ve confirmed before you jumped,” the third huffed.

“If we’re not gonna leave her, what do we do?” The blonde asked.

They all went silent. They looked at each other and then you. Bucky raised his gun, still in hand, and the blond caught him again. He shook his head and tisked.

“Are you crazy?” He pushed his hand down, “We’re not killing her. She didn’t do anything.”

“I agree, she shouldn't die because you’re stupid,” the other chuckled.

“Well, Einstein,” Bucky snipped, “what do you suggest?”

The third man’s brows raised slowly and he tilted his head. He glanced at you again then back to his comrades. He shrugged and a grin spread across his face.

“The bunker. It’s empty. Safe.” He said quietly, “How much of a fight did she put up?”

“Enough of one,” Bucky muttered.

“She’s… not bad. She’s all alone up here. Even if someone noticed she went radio silent, it’d have to take a while,” he explained.

“What are you saying?” The blonde frowned.

“If she has the photos, if she knows where the bunker is and this moron’s blurted out some intel, I just know it,” he continued, “we can’t let her go. He’s at least right about that. So… we don’t wanna kill her, we keep her.”

“Keep her? For what?” Bucky scoffed.

The man was silent and winked at them. The blonde peeked over at you and Bucky dropped his head as he gripped his hip.

“Come on, you guys,” he threw up his hand as the blonde shifted on his feet. “It’s fucking cold up here and it’s been awful lonely everywhere else. We’re running around with no finish line in sight and… well, I’m about to stab one of you and I’ve seen the way you,” he pointed at Bucky, “look at me. I don’t trust that.”

“You can’t mean--” the blonde muttered.

“She’s better off dead,” Bucky insisted.

“Just because you’re a monk, doesn’t mean the rest of us need to be.”

“Hmm,” the blonde tapped his toe.

“You’re not really considering this?” Bucky sneered.

“Well… why not?” He rasped, “She’s… alone and… not too bad on the eyes.”

“And I have ears!” You sat up awkwardly, “You want me to keep my mouth shut. Done. I’m up here trying to catch a few birds on a roll. I’m not here to get mixed up in whatever it is you three--” You blinked as the lantern shone in the blond’s face as the three men turned to you, “shit.”

Captain America’s eyes sparked with recognition as your head did the same. He knew you knew who he was; likely he saw that look every other day. There was no hiding it.

“I told you,” the third man chided, “that mug is hard to forget.”

“No, no, I don’t-- I won’t tell a soul. I swear. Please just whatever you’re thinking, don’t. I’m some dumb photographer they sent up here to document the snow. You really think anyone cares that much--”

“Not so much about you but those photos are pretty interesting,” Bucky neared and shoved you down and you barely kept from hitting your head on the wall, “don’t tell me you didn’t know what you were doing.”

“People go missing up here all the time. That’s why no one’s here,” the brown-eyed man said, “she’ll just be another and we’ll have a nice companion to keep us from killing each other.”

“No,” Bucky turned, “it’s my mistake. I’ll take care of it.”

“Put the gun away, Buck,” Steve Rogers ordered, “it’s not right. We can’t kill her. Even if she isn’t entirely innocent, even if you’re right about those photos. She’s better to us alive.”

“Don’t tell me you’re going along with this--”

“I’m the captain,” Steve insisted. “I’ve made up my mind and I’m giving you an order. Sam’s right. She’s more use alive. If she has information, we’ll get it out of her. And if she doesn’t well, we can find something else to do with her.”

Bucky swore and pushed his gun into his holster. He stepped away from you and shouldered past the one called Sam.

“Yes, captain,” he said dryly.

“Sergeant,” Steve retorted and nodded to Sam, “get her up. We should leave before the sun rises.”

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kimium · 3 years ago

Note

Been feeling a little down...so I popped in here because you always bring me joy, friend!

May I humbly request you ramble about some headcannons for Joker/Licht from Fire Force? 💜

Aw! Sorry to hear that you're feeling a bit down. -hug- However, I am glad I'm here to help out! I shall do my best! Joker/Licht are a great couple!

Here are some of my headcanons. Which by headcanon I mean oops I wrote legit scenes. Under a cut because these are long.

1) If I'm remembering correctly, they met on a rainy day. Somehow, if I'm wrong, I don't care. I keep visualizing them on a rainy day. It's dark but time has slipped from measurement. Is it dark because it's night or is it dark because of the heavy grey rain clouds? Unclear. It's also a cold rain, the kind that if you stand outside too long it will soak into your bones and chill you to your essence.

Licht returns from the encounter drenched. His apartment is dull, messy, and cold too. Licht never seems to remember to turn on the heater and there is work to be done. His mind is running, no galloping. Joker's presence sparked something within him. So, Licht gets to work. He spends the entire evening and next day hunched over his desk, two laptops on, a congealed cup of tea (Benimaru later will Scream when he finds out), and in his soaked clothes. He gets miserably sick within 24 hours. Somehow, he changes into clean, dry clothes and crawls into his futon.

When he wakes up his apartment is clean, his wet clothes are washed, and there is a take-away soup container. On the container is a note from Joker apologizing for breaking and entering. And that he is sick. Despite the fact the soup is barely warm, it's the best soup Licht has ever tasted and he falls asleep easily. The next day he's a million times better.

2) Joker visits Licht sporadically for a solid 6-8 months. They're in tentative partnership and that also means tentative trust. Of course, Joker has trust in Licht (otherwise he wouldn't have revealed himself to him) but he's been burned (both metaphorically and literally) so caution is key. Yet somehow, despite their interactions playing out 70% of the time as the world's driest business interactions, they become closer.

3) They start pining. Licht starts to crave the sight of smoke curling slyly from Joker's cigarettes. Joker never allows the smoke to fade in Licht's apartment, somehow containing both the smoke and smell. The level of control Joker effortlessly demonstrates over his abilities leaves Licht's mouth dry. At first he thinks it's because he wants to research and collect data. He soon realizes that it's not the ability. It's Joker himself. Licht does Not know what to do with this. He's never been attracted to someone. Suddenly he's having a minor gay crisis at four-thirty in the flipping morning as Joker sits lazily on his balcony, smoking, and watching for the first tendrils of the sunrise to grace the sky.

Joker starts pining when he realizes he enjoys Licht's rambles and explanations. Licht is a passionate man when his research and theories are in play. At first Joker asked because the information benefited him. But slowly he starts asking simply because he wants to watch Licht's eyes light up, his hands move as if he's conducting a symphony, and his mouth move too fast to keep up with his beautiful mind.

4) Their first kiss is on the roof top of Licht's crappy apartment. Technically they're not supposed to be up there but that's never stopped Joker and Licht isn't one for following arbitrary rules.

They're on the rooftop because there is a rare star shower happening. Licht had spent the last week talking it up to Joker, explaining the science and astrology linked to it. Legends say that each star represents wishes and dreams falling to earth and becoming true. Joker thinks that's cute (in a semi-sarcastic way). Licht thinks the tale is interesting from a "myth and culture perspective".

However, all their jokes and skepticism die when the star shower starts. It's breathtaking. Joker has never seen anything like it. Licht hasn't either. They're both entranced but Joker makes the mistake of looking over at Licht.

Joker's breath escapes his lungs in a pulse so abrupt he nearly falls over. Licht's face is illuminated by the stars and the raptured look in his eyes makes Joker's heart twist in his chest.

Licht looks over and it's game over. Joker cannot help leaning closer and asking Licht if he can please kiss him. Licht has never said yes to something so fast in his entire life.

5) When they first start to consider becoming intimate Joker decides he needs to disclose his past to Licht. All of it. Every part. Including the abuse he suffered. He's a bundle of nerves, internally shaking as he speaks, and tries to snuff the fear that "Licht will leave him. He's dirty, tainted, and used." Instead Licht embraces him and cries for him. He holds Joker all night, cuddling and comforting. Joker in turn ends up crying. When their tears dry up, Licht orders from Joker's favourite spicy curry restaurant and they eat curry that makes Licht's poor mouth burn cuddled on Licht's poor beaten up couch.

6) Joker's language of love are actions. In his mind words are cheap unless they're backed by action. He consistently does things for Licht, both small and big. However, his scale of "small to big" goes like this:

Small: "Hey hon I saw you're out of milk so I went to the corner store and bought some. Also I picked up a few other groceries that I noted you need."

Medium: "Hey hon I saw that absolute bitch of a coworker at Haijima passive aggressively critiqued your article so I wrecked their office but didn't take anything. They doesn't know that."

Big: "Hey hon I may have planned and asked Benimaru to break into the Holy Sol Temple with me because 1) They piss me off and 2) You don't like them."

7) Licht's language of love is touch. He's a touch starved person and once he discovered Cuddles and Handholding he was over the flipping (Soul Eater) moon. Then he discovered Hugs and Kisses and he nearly orbited into frickin' space.

8) Joker and Licht get married in the least romantic way possible. They exchange rings (Joker spent weeks looking for them) and have a small wedding where Captain Burns signs witness papers (because he is unofficial official Dad to Joker).

9) Licht and Joker are good at being professional when it's called for. So, it takes Company 8 a solid 2-3 months (because some people figured it out earlier) for everyone to figure out they're a couple. Iris was the first one to find out (she caught them kissing in the kitchen early one morning) and was So Flustered she all but glued her mouth shut. Shinra and Arthur are the last ones to figure it out. No one is certain who was last but both of them will deny being the "last last" one.

10) Both Licht and Joker commit the crime of Letting Your Tea Go Cold and Not Consuming Tea At the Approved Temperature. Benimaru is Furious. Nearly loses his mind. They're both dragged to Tea Boot Camp to learn the Proper Way to Drink Tea. Joker gets it after a day. Licht takes an entire week and is on a probationary period for the next three weeks.

11) We've touched on this before but Licht in general is sort of bad at taking care of himself. He forgets to sleep and eat consistently because of research. Company 8 talks to the appropriate people to help plan meals for Licht and get him into a healthy routine.

12) Maki finds out about Licht and Joker's "wedding" and nearly collapses. She declares that they need to "renew their vows" and no she doesn't care if they got married less than a year ago. They're renewing their vows with Company 8 present. Benimaru hears of this and demands they add some traditional Japanese wedding ceremony elements. Licht and Joker are both secretly very touched by this gesture.

13) Joker is a small furnace in bed. Licht is spindly and cold. He adores Joker's heat and only sleeps the best when he's cuddling his husband.

#personal #replies #fire force #joker/licht #there you go friend! i hope you like it

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sergeantsporks · 3 years ago

Text

Another Shot at Life

Rating: General Audiences, Gen

TW: Child abuse, emotional manipulation

Ao3

Hunter accidentally makes his way into the human realm and can't get back home. But he's discovering that might not be such a bad thing.

Ch 2/7: When Mom’s Not Home

Ch 1

“I’m going to tell Belos.”

Hunter woke up with a gasp, patting the area around him. “Red?!” he rolled off of…a couch? Oh—right. When had he fallen asleep? He remembered being up, trying to brainstorm a way to open the portal, up after Camila and Vee had gone to bed—Vee had pointedly locked her door, as if that could keep him out if he actually wanted to capture her.

His palisman chirped cheerfully. Vee was playing with the bird, and Hunter dove for it, snatching Red away. “Don’t touch him!”

She yipped, scrambling back away from him.

Hunter examined the bird in his hands. Red warbled gently at him, and he leaned back against the couch, rubbing his eyes. Sunlight filtered in through cracks in blinds, and Hunter squinted. “What time is it?”

“Ten-ish.”

Hunter bolted upright. “Ten?!”

“Yeah, how do you sleep in that armor?”

“I can’t sleep until ten, I have—” Hunter growled. “Ten. Why didn’t I wake up?!” He glared at his palisman. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

His palisman cheerfully tweeted that he didn’t have to wake up at five anymore, and he needed the sleep.

Vee held out a hand for his palisman to fly to, but Hunter put a hand in front of Red before it could go to her. She frowned. “Why would Belos care if you had a palisman, anyway?”

Hunter scooped Red up. “He… doesn’t like wild magic.” He squeezed his palisman close to his chest, and Red chirped softly, as if to reassure him that he was still there. “And… he eats palisman.”

Vee’s eyes widened. “That’s horrible!”

“No it’s not!” Hunter said defensively, “He needs them—it’s not like he eats them because they’re a delicious delicacy.” He scratched Red’s head. “I just… don’t want him to eat this one.”

Vee scooted a little closer, eying him nervously. “I… promise I won’t eat Red. I know basilisks get a bad reputation, but I would never hurt another creature.”

Hunter hated the fact that his hands were trembling so bad, and he shook his head, still cuddling Red to his chest.

Camila came down the stairs, tossing a bundle of cloth down next to Hunter. “Tell me if those fit. They might be a bit big—they used to be Luz’s father’s.”

“I’m keeping my armor on.”

“Aren’t you hot?”

Hunter tugged his cape more firmly around him. “I’m keeping my uniform.”

Camila shrugged. “Suit yourself.” She sat down on the couch. “I know you’re not friends with Luz, but can you tell me anything about her?”

Hunter set Red on his shoulder, curling his knees up to his chest. “Only that apparently she’s the best girlfriend in existence,” he snorted.

Camila gasped. “Luz has a boyfriend?!”

Hunter scooted away from her a bit. “Noooooooo.”

“Luz has a girlfriend?! She didn’t tell me! Oh, that’s so exciting! What’s her name?”

“Amity.”

“Awwww, she’s growing up so fast.”

“She’s… she was nice to me,” he admitted, “Uh…” what else did he know about Luz? “She’s… she’s gotten pretty good at using magic. Even though she’s a human. She’s even going to school. I think maybe she fits in pretty well on the Boiling Isles.”

He could almost immediately sense that he’d said the wrong thing. It was something small—it was always a little detail, a tiny shift that he wasn’t sure how he’d caught—but it was enough to make him scoot further away from the human before her mood made a more obvious change. “I can’t do magic,” he continued as if nothing were wrong, changing the subject, “Born powerless.” He scratched his palisman’s head again. “Red here helps me do magic. So does my other staff.”

Camila nodded absentmindedly. “I’m going to work, now. Thank you, Hunter. Vee, there’s leftovers in the fridge. Teach Hunter how to use the microwave, kay? Be good, both of you.”

The human disappeared out the door, and Vee stood up. “Camila doesn’t want Luz to stay in the boiling isles,” she said softly, “She feels like she failed her. Maybe don’t talk about how much better off Luz is in the isles. It’s… a little upsetting.”

Hunter followed her up the stairs. “Why do you care so much? I mean—why stay here? You can look like anyone. Go anywhere. You don’t have to stay here.”

“I need magic to transform, first of all, and there’s not a lot of it out here, and second of all, I like it here!”

“Not a lot of it?” Hunter echoed, “So there is some out here, though?”

Vee disappeared into her room, closing the door. “Go away.”

“Hey! What did I do to you?”

“Why don’t you ask your emperor,” Vee responded, her voice muffled by the door.

Hunter rolled his eyes. “Okay. Look. You don’t like me. Fine. But the sooner I can find anything that will get me home, the sooner I’ll leave, and you won’t have to see me again.”

The door opened a crack again. “Fine. There’s a guy who collects magic stuff. He curates a museum. If anyone has something that will get you back, it’ll be him.”

“Where do I find him?”

“Trust me, you don’t WANT to find him. He’s dangerous.”

“So am I.”

“I’m serious. If he finds out what you are, he’ll kill you, cut you open—don’t go near him. Wait until nighttime and sneak in, if you have to go at all.”

Hunter pulled up his hood to hide his ears, and Red hid inside, chirping softly. “No offense, but I think I can pass as human a little better than you.”

“No offense, but you stick out like a sore thumb in that outfit. If you’re so determined to get killed, then go ahead. Like I said, he’s the curator at the museum. That’s where he keeps his magical artifacts, too.”

“Great.” Hunter started towards the door.

“Do you know where the museum is?”

“How hard can it be to find?”

Vee chuckled slightly. “Never mind, I don’t have to worry about Jacob killing you. You’ll get hit by a car before you even reach the museum.”

Hunter’s ears burned, and he slammed the door behind him. Right. This would be fine, he just had to get to a high vantage point, and then he could find the museum. Make a mental map of the area. He surveyed his surroundings, then scrambled up onto a trash can, hopping up and using the window frame as a foothold as he grabbed the top of the roof, hauling himself up.

There were buildings as far as he could see—rows and rows of them, neat and orderly.

No wonder Uncle Belos wants to combine the worlds.

Hunter scanned the building, looking for one that looked like it would hold old stuff. Finally, he caught sight of a statue next to a building that didn’t share the uniformity of the other buildings. Bingo. He mapped the streets in his head, plotting turns.

When he got back down off of the roof, Vee was waiting for him. “I’m going with you,” she declared.

“Thought you wanted to stay away from the museum?”

Vee crossed her arms. “I’m not going to go in. But Camila wouldn’t want you to go alone.”

“Go away. I don’t need you to babysit me.”

“I’m not babysitting you. I’m making sure you don’t go around conspiring with Jacob to capture me.”

Hunter started down the road. “For the last time, I’m not even a little bit interested in kidnapping you. You’re not hurting anyone here. Why would I care?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Vee said sarcastically, following behind him, “Maybe because Belos chased me all the way here?”

Hunter stopped dead in his tracks. “What are you talking about?”

“Seriously? You’re the golden guard, how do you not know about the basilisk experiments?”

That bothered him a lot more than he wanted to say. “Great question. I thought basilisks were extinct?”

Vee walked ahead of him, crossing her arms. “We were. Belos created us.”

“How?!”

“I don’t know, how were you made?”

Hunter rolled his eyes, jogging after her. “Well, you see, Vee, when a mama witch and a papa witch love each other very much—”

“Very funny. Look, I don’t know. Belos didn’t exactly bother shoving his scientific notes into my cage.” She looked back at him. “You really didn’t know?”

Hunter shifted uncomfortably. “I’m head of a whole coven. I don’t keep an eye on every single experiment.” Apparently. But that was Belos’ personal experiment, he didn’t need to know everything—he was head of the emperor’s coven, not the emperor.

“Maybe you should have paid a little more attention to your surroundings, coven head. Belos hurt me, and all of my kind.”

“You think you’re the only one Belos has hurt? You’re not special.” The words popped out of his mouth before he could think, and Vee twisted back to look at him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean—he’s the emperor—he has to punish people who break the rules—I’m just saying—”

“Well, I didn’t break any rules, except by existing, I guess.” Vee replied. She stopped. “Here we go. This is where I stop.”

Hunter gazed up at the broken-down building, then at the statue nearby.

His heart seemed to stop in his chest.

That was—

“Vee,” he asked in a strangled whisper, “Why does this town have a statue of Emperor Belos?”

Vee blinked at him. “What are you talking about?” Then her eyes widened. “You’ve seen the emperor without his mask?!”

“Of course I have, I—why is there a statue of him here, Vee?!”

“I don’t know,” she responded in a hushed voice, “Those are town founders, I think.”

Okay. Belos had been here before—he’d known that. He could ask when he got back. Right now, he needed to focus. “Where is the magic stuff?”

“In a room behind the welcome desk. Watch out for Jacob.”

“I can handle one measly human.”

Hunter pushed open the door. No one was at the desk, so he just walked into the back room. Vee was right—there was a lot of stuff in here. He picked up a training wand. Useless, at least to him. Still he tucked it in his pocket. He blinked at the back wall. It was covered in paper, pictures of the owl lady, in her beast form and regular. He traced the red lines with one finger, skipping over an old sketch. He stopped, going back. The sketch was worn and faded, but he could just make out a cardinal.

“Looks kind of like you,” he remarked to his palisman.

Red tweeted in agreement.

“Hey! You can’t be back here!”

Hunter whirled around, whipping out his coven staff. “Stay back!”

The man wrinkled his nose. “Eh, geeze, you really go out like that? Costume needs work, if you’re a little witch wannabe.”

Hunter’s ears burned. “I am not a witch wannabe! Where did you get this stuff?”

The man gave him a fake smile. “Hey, kiddo, it’s just some costume stuff, don’t worry about it, just come on out into the regular museum, okay? If you’re here for those tarot cards, they all got stolen, I’m sorry.”

“It is not just costume stuff.” Hunter jabbed a finger at the pictures of the owl lady. “I’ve met her. I know what she can do. And I know that you collect magical items.”

“You met her? Okay. Wait. I’m Jacob. You met the owl beast?”

“Yeah, she’s a real pain,” Hunter muttered, edging for the door. Nothing here could help him—and he was pretty sure that this curator guy couldn’t, either.

Jacob moved to block the door. “Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Don’t go!”

“This was a waste of my time. Get out of my way.”

Jacob’s gaze zeroed in on the inside of Hunter’s hood. “Is that…”

Hunter backed up, clutching his staff tightly. “What?”

Faster than he could react, Jacob lunged forward, flipping his hood off. Hunter kicked him, then slammed his staff right into the curator’s stomach. “Get back!” he warned.

Jacob gasped for air. “That cardinal—you look just like—” he rummaged around in a desk drawer, dragging out a sketch of a man with a cardinal on his shoulder. A chill ran down Hunter’s spine. That did look like him. Down to the haircut. What was wrong with this town?!

“What’s that, your creepy fanart?”

Jacob’s face turned a blotchy red. “It is not fanart, it is an artistic interpretation of what our town founder’s face would have looked like based on his statue! And except for your ears and scar, you look just like him! You even have the cardinal! Are you descended from him? Or maybe a clone, sent from Mars, and made to take his place?”

Wow. “Yeeahhh. Unlikely.” Hunter ducked around him. “Thanks for showing me your… whatever that was, but I’m going now.”

Jacob grabbed his arm. “You can’t go!”

Hunter kicked him right between the legs, wrenching away and making a break for the door. Vee was right. This guy was just insane. He slammed the door behind him, jumping over the desk and pushing it against the door. The door opened inward, so it wouldn’t hold him, but it would slow him down. Hunter burst out of the museum doors, tearing down to where Vee was sitting at the base of the statue.

“Time to go!”

Vee jumped up, running after him. “What happened?!”

“He’s crazy!”

“I told you!”

The doors to the museum burst open, and Jacob’s eyes widened when he saw Vee. “YOU!” he howled, and he sprinted after the two of them.

Hunter stopped, turning to face him. “I’ll take care of him.”

Vee backpedaled and grabbed his collar, dragging him forward. “You will not! The object is to not draw attention! Which fighting an adult in the street will most definitely do!” She yanked his hood over his ears. “You’re really bad at this.”

Jacob gave up, winded, halfway down the street. Vee didn’t stop running until they’d gotten back to the house, huffing and puffing.

“I could have handled that guy,” Hunter panted, “Easy.”

“You’re—crazy. Did you find anything that would help you get home?”

“No,” Hunter sulked, “Just a lot of useless junk.”

“Told you. What did you say that made him go after you?”

Hunter shuddered. “He went on and on about how I looked like one of those statue guys.”

“Oh, yeah. He thinks that the town founders got kidnapped and taken to the demon realm by a witch.”

Hunter rubbed his arms. “Not sure he’s wrong about that part.” That statue had looked way too much like Uncle Belos to be a coincidence. “I… guess you’re going to tell Camila about what I did?”

Vee shrugged. “I don’t know. It might come up. We like to talk about our days at dinner. Why?”

Hunter shifted from foot to foot. “No reason.”

Vee gave him an uncomfortably understanding look. “She won’t get mad. She didn’t tell you not to go there. If anything, she’ll be worried.”

“I… I put you in danger, though.”

“I went on my own. You didn’t make me. Actually, I’m pretty sure you told me not to come.”

“I just… Whatever. It doesn’t matter.”

Vee held open the door for him. “Camila isn’t going to hurt you.”

“I never said she would!”

“No, but you were thinking it. I get it. I used to get worried about making her mad, at first. It’s hard to imagine the adults not hurting you. I won’t tell her if you don’t want me to. But Camila’s not like that.”

Hunter’s shoulders stiffened. “I’m not like you. You were an experiment, you were locked up. I’m the head of the emperor’s coven. I wasn’t—I was happy.”

Vee shook her head. “If you say so.”

“I was!” Hunter took a deep breath. “Look, I… I’m sorry. That you were hurt.”

“By Emperor Belos. Your boss.” Vee pressed.

Hunter rubbed his arms. “Y-yeah. Sure. Whatever.”

“He’s… not a good person, Hunter. You know that, right? You ran from him for a reason.”

“I was just—I was scared of getting punished. But I—I shouldn’t have attacked Kikimora. I would have deserved—”

“Why are you defending him?!”

“I’m not you, Vee! Maybe to you he was a horrible tyrant, but to me, he’s the only family I’ve got! He cares about me, Vee. Sometimes he can be harsh, but it’s just because he wants me to be my best self!”

Vee shook her head. “I can’t believe it. You actually think that!”

“Of course I do! Because it’s the truth!”

Vee jabbed a finger at him. “There’s more than one way to lock someone in a cage, Hunter. And I’m starting to think that I got the better bargain.”

Ch 3

#toh #the owl house #toh fanfiction #my writing #toh hunter #camila noceda #vee noceda

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midnightsnace · 3 years ago

Text

A Thousand Worlds

Summary: Fix it fic of sorts after the trauma that was episode 6 of the Loki series. Loki is in pain after discovering Mobius doesn’t remember him. He’s been living in apocalypses to avoid capture by this new TVA until he formulates a plan to get his Mobius back.

Rating: T for later chapters

Emotional angst.

Chapter One.

Chapter Two.

“And so that’s where I grew up, the ends of a thousand worlds.”

The ends of a thousand worlds. The words of his accomplice echoed through the god’s mind as he fiddled with the straps of his worn and tattered holster. The fluorescent above him flickered with every gust of wind that battled against the sides of the building that Loki was crouched down in. He slid his long legs out against the tiled floor in front of him and sat with his head propped against the wall. He sighed. Loki tapped his foot on the door of the space he was hiding in to close it, drowning out the cries of fear from the people outside in their final hours of life. There he sat waiting for the tempad to charge. Alone. Living in another world where every person he met would be dead by the end of the day. Another world where Mobius didn’t exist. His Mobius.

Was this what it was like? For her? To never be able to stay in one place for more than a day? To always see the same faces riddled with fear as they awaited their painful fate? To only know destruction, screaming, fires, earthquakes, the literal gates of hel? To be utterly alone with your only desire to live in the hope that one day your glorious purpose would be fulfilled?

Glorious purpose.

Loki scoffed. The god didn’t know what his purpose was anymore. Taking down the TVA was a complete failure. The chances for fixing the mess they started seemed impossible now as branches grew and new timelines erupted, with endless TVAs to monitor every universe. At least, that’s what Loki assumed. He knew next to nothing about what they had unleashed. It wasn’t the same TVA. Different hunters, different analysts, different ruler. Many he recognized, but they were still different people. They weren’t the same. She wasn’t the real B. He wasn’t his Mobius. And Loki was at a complete loss on how to find them again.

The first tempad he stole only brought him back to the place he snatched it from. The same Time Variance Authority where Mobius didn’t remember him and not a single file existed for Loki Laufeyson, God of Mischief, God of Outcasts, God of Lies. Even when he dragged the analyst through the timedoor into the roxxcart parking lot to access his memories, nothing existed of him. No laughter over silly metaphors, mischief at pompeii, not even the memory of their first encounter in the elevator. It was like they never met. This led to Loki wasting away their days hopping from one disaster to the next until his brain racked up a solution. The TVA never once did follow him. Why would they? No one remembered his brilliant discovery about the apocalypses. He could run free. But as the days whittled by, the hope Loki had began to fade into nothingness.

For awhile he kept track of the places he went and the time that had passed.

Day 1 - I finally stole a tempad and left that dreadful place. I came here first. Hoping I’d see you. But I guess that’s not how time travel works in apocalypses. No trace we were ever here. The storm reminded me of my brother. I hope to see him again one day. Now that I know we could have been friends. Everything was eventually going to be okay.

Day 24 - I’ve been sitting in a coffee shop awaiting the earthquake of 2098. Met a lovely redhead with the most peculiar of tattoos. But alas! Little does she know this friendship could never blossom in the wake of death!

Day 37 - I miss him. My brother. The pain that solitude brings makes me think of home more often. How ironic that the very place that caused me the most pain I miss. But anything is better than this. So today I visited home right before its destruction. I saw my brother. I saw Thor from afar. Oh how I wish I could have talked to him somehow and tell him i’m sorry for being such an ass.

Being there brought back memories of the silly metaphor he made using Mobius’ lunch. The corners of Loki’s mouth crept into a smile at the thought. But that smile faded away in the next second and was replaced with tears.

Day 56 - I went to Pompeii again. I stood in the shadows. I tried to picture your expressions of skepticism at my insane ideas. I tried to picture how your face lit up with pride and joy when you realized I was right. I wish I could have stayed longer but I never can anywhere I go.

He whistled like a bird before he exited through the time door.

By day 125 he had lost his will to live again. It was their fourth visit to Lamentis-1. Perhaps it was a mistake on his part to journey here once more and feel both the pains of betrayal and heartache at the prospect of never seeing Mobius again. The second time they had visited Lamentis, the god decided to stay until the very last second with the false hope that maybe him facing death would create a nexus event. His mobius would come find him and save him at the last second. But the time door never came. Maybe it was because he knew there was a chance to escape and he could take it. Or maybe it was because there were so many time branches no one would care to fix a world that was about to end.

“You were always meant to be alone.”

And so this time Loki threw the tempad to the ground and waited. He watched as the lethal disaster unfolded before his eyes once more, ready to die. Alone. Alone with no one to assure him everything will be alright in the face of death. Not a single soul would know he was gone. No one would care.

But at the last second they saw something on the tempad that made them change their mind. A glimmer of hope.

Any hope Loki had, a glorious purpose he had left to fulfill, it was in finding Mobius. It was the only desire left that fueled him to keep existing. He was all that mattered. His only friend. The only person left among the universes who trusted him and saw beyond his flaws. The only person left who hadn’t betrayed the fragile levels of trust the god could give. He was his hope that one day, he wouldn’t have to be alone.

And so he found himself walking the streets of New York in the summer of 2197, on the brink of some disaster he knew nothing about. Not a single idea when it would happen, where it would occur, and what he was doomed to witness. He saw something that could potentially lead him to his destination. The tempad had given him an alert for an aura match - two of the same people in one place. An oddity. Something that wasn’t supposed to exist.

They weren’t just any entity either. They were registered hunters in the TVA database. Which meant one had to be from another universe.

And he knew the TVA would be coming for them.

He had to get there first.

Loki speed walked down the sidewalk frantically scanning his surroundings for any clue as to what was happening. He couldn’t read any signs of fear or confusion on the faces of those who passed him. He didn’t know how much time he had.

Upon hearing shouts of anger, Loki broke out into a run across the street towards the source, dodging every dystopian vehicle that nearly collided with him in the process. It was coming from the roof of the parking tower. With a snap of his magic, Loki teleported himself to the top, hiding behind a parked vehicle to assess what he was working with.

There were two agents standing about 10 feet away who looked nearly identical, one waving her arms frantically while the other looked on stoically, possibly from shock, with a pruning stick in hand. Loki locked eyes on the tempad fastened to the belt of the frantic one. Then he glanced at the one in the other hunter’s hand.

Well shit.

Now he had to figure out which agent had jumped from the other timeline. He quickly flashed himself closer to the two, but not before one caught on that someone was there.

“I was given orders by a man to…what was that?” one of the hunters asked.

Loki crouched down farther on the other side of the wall. He reached for a dagger, ready to pounce once their suspicions subsided. They listened intently to the words from the first hunter for the first clue on who to attack.

“He sent me here to grab this,” the hunter pulled up someone on her tempad, “entity and leave. Those were the orders given to me. So if you’ll excuse me.”

The other hunter planted herself in front of her clone. “I can’t let you do that. Not until you’ve told me everything I want to know. How are you me? How is this possible?”

The first hunter was from an alternate timeline. Loki took that as his cue. But before he could sneak behind the hunter, he was shot backwards by a blast of energy from a ring of light.

Out from the ring stepped a peculiar man with graying hair who was wearing blue robes and an assymetrical cloak that sparked the curiosity of the confused hunter. Within a split second, the portal closed behind him. Loki laid very still on the concrete and held his breath in the hopes that the man would believe him to be dead.

“You know I can tell when someone is playing dead.”

Loki grimaced and winced as he heaved himself off the ground. He came face to face with the strange man, his hand lingering in the air where he placed the pocket for his dagger.

“You.” was all the man said.

“Am I supposed to know you?” the god questioned.

“You always manage to show up in New York again at the most in-opportune times.” The man raised his hands and Loki mimicked his movements, summoning his daggers in place.

“I’m gonna assume we’ve met before sir, perhaps in the future? I don’t know! And i’m terribly sorry about New York! Look let me explain…” they lowered their hands in their attempt to make peace with the angry man in front of him.

“Dr. Strange.” He kept his fist in the air, golden sparks flying from whatever spell he had in mind to attack the prince with. “And until you prove otherwise Im going to assume you are here for hostile reasons.”

Loki blinked. Well he’s kind of not wrong, they thought.

“Well I’m afraid I can’t prove anything else.” and with that the god blasted the sorcerer into the nearest column with their magic and teleported across the space.

Loki noticed that one of the hunters had disappeared. He assumed she had returned to the TVA. The other was charging towards him fast. He whipped out his daggers to face his attacker, but suddenly his feet were dragged out from under him and he hit the concrete hard. He was being dragged backwards, body scrapping against the concrete. So fast, that the god could barely think about what was happening to him.

When he came to his senses he cut the magic ropes with his powers and rolled across the ground. So he was dealing with another magic user, this “Dr. Strange.” Loki teleported again before he was up on his feet to where he was standing directly behind the hunter.

“D-11…” Dr. Strange said with a hint of caution in his tone.

So this was the man Hunter D-11 was working for. Before the hunter could turn around to face them, Loki snatched the tempad off her belt and snapped himself to the furthest side of the building. Dr. Strange reacted quickly and stood his ground in front of Loki, prepared to attack again.

“Loki, perhaps we can work out some type of deal. What is it that you want? Maybe I can help you. Maybe we can reach a compromise.”

Offer him a deal? Nah.

“I’m done trusting people I’ve just met. All they ever do is stab me in the back.” he conjured the time door behind him.

Strange titled his head. “You do realize we can follow you right straight back to the TVA?”

Loki turned to face him and D-11. “You’ll never find me. You won’t know the first place to look.” The time door closed with Loki inside of it, before the two even had a chance to reach their hands out to follow the god.

…….

And that’s how Loki had ended up here. At Roxxcart again, waiting for the new tempad to charge up before hopping through timelines again.

He breathed in deeply as he felt the bubble of excitement, relief, and happiness build in his chest for the first time in months at the prospect of achieving his goal. Being reunited with the only one who mattered: Mobius. His Mobius.

But as he released his breath in a sigh, his chest tightened again and worry clouded his mind. What if this didn’t work? What if this was just another dead end? What if this was just another one of the countless TVAs that might exist in the vast multiverse?

At first, all Loki felt was sadness and regret in the days following Sylvie’s betrayal. But now all he felt was anger boiling deep inside him. That same unwelcome feeling he experienced after discovering his father lied to him. The feeling that harbored in the abyss of Thanos’ chambers. The feeling that never left his soul until Mobius looked him in the eyes and assured him that he didn’t have to be the villain in his story.

She had taken everything from him and he was afraid he couldn’t wash away the resentment this time. He wanted desperately to feel anything besides the pain he had known for the past year.

He needed to feel love again.

“He cares about you.”

Loki couldn’t wait any longer. He picked up the tempad and tapped the time door request for the TVA home base. He drew in a shaky breath as he paused in front of the portal.

This was it.

He was either about to be reunited with his greatest source of happiness, or find himself hiding in apocalypses again for months as he searched for another plan.

And he would do it. He would search through a thousand worlds to find him.

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thewhiteroseofvermilion · 4 years ago

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Moving Forward

Hello everyone. It’s been a long time since I’ve last spoken to you all, and an even longer time since I’ve last updated this story. Over the months and years, my absence has saddened, frustrated, and even angered many of you. Despite my own valid feelings of how—to put it bluntly—I don’t owe any of you anything as this is something I do for free and in my own free time, I still recognize how it must feel for you all to see something you enjoy so much slowly lose momentum and eventually grind to a halt. Furthermore, my habit of making enthusiastic yet empty statements in between didn’t help either.

As such, a proper and honest explanation is due, as anything less would be unkind. This will be lengthy, but please bear with me.

For the past four years, it’s been increasingly difficult to find the time, energy, and motivation for me to properly sit down and write. Seemingly gone are the early days of this story’s life when I was able to publish a new chapter every month or so, or even every two weeks when I was at the top of my game in terms of activeness. Even though I had an immense workload due to being a double major in college, leading me to adopt the best work ethic I’ve ever had, I still led a sheltered lifestyle where I didn’t have to worry about the many looming, inevitable adult responsibilities that were ahead of me.

Those tranquil years of course came to an end when I graduated, and I soon felt immense pressure to shift my attention to finding work, living independently, and working on things that would further my career. While I received support as an aspiring writer from the majority of my family, those being my mother and sister, the both of them commented more frequently as time passed by that my “fanfiction” wasn’t something that I should be spending so much time on anymore. After all, it’s not like I could sell the work as my own, and the fact that despite fanfiction absolutely being a valid artform, it wasn’t something that the world of professional employers cared about.

Nonetheless, when I did eventually find work as a film freelancer, I still tried to persevere and write on the side. My goal back then was to work in film in order to sustain my pursuit in writing. Film was something I went to school for, greatly enjoyed, and even saw a possible future career for myself in, but it was the writing aspect of it that I was truly after, that being primarily screenwriting.

After two years of living at home, I felt the need to try and live independently as I outgrew my tiny room and my mom started dating a man that I didn’t particularly like. I knew it wasn’t financially smart of me to do so when my mom allowed me to live with her rent-free. But at the time I thought that it would help me to become more mature and productive, as I would have to force myself to work in order to put a roof over my head and food on the table—as opposed to living a sheltered life at home where everything was taken care of for me. Essentially, I was longing for the lifestyle I had in college, thinking that once I returned to it, I would be able to reacquire that once incredible work ethic I had.

So, I became roommates with a friend from college and together we rented a townhouse together. Rent wasn’t terribly expensive, but it wasn’t cheap either. Regardless, I was able to make ends meet. My greatest challenge however, was to live up to my family’s spoken and unspoken expectations. On one hand, my mother was sweet and understanding, naturally giving me her full support. My father, on the other, always thought that it’d be better for me to pursue something safer and more lucrative, and to not risk being a starving artist. But the one I had to prove myself the most to was my older sister, who was wildly more successful than I was—financially and professionally. My pay compared to hers was like a drop in a bucket, and I felt both indirect and direct pressure from her to be more “professional” like her. Therefore, I threw myself into my work, which is when things slowly began to go downhill.

As a film freelancer, my work hours usually averaged between 10-12 hours a day, and with my work taking me all over my home state of Maryland and even into neighboring Washington DC and Virginia, my commute time to and from work ranged anywhere from an additional 1-3 hours. It became incredibly common for me to wake up for work anywhere between 3-6 AM and not get home until 8-10 PM.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, I slowly slipped into a routine where when I did have the “time” to write, I had zero energy or motivation as my work was so taxing. I reached the point where I had to drink two energy drinks with 300mg of caffeine to get myself to and from work. I saw less and less of my roommate and friends. I spent an alarming amount of money and gained weight from ordering take-out so often because I hadn’t the energy to cook for myself when I got home late from work. There would even be days when I fell into what felt like comas, sleeping up to two days straight at one point. My physical, mental, and emotional health was in serious decline. And yet I didn’t see it that way, as I had become obsessed with trying to prove to my family, my sister in particular, that I wasn’t a failure and that my pursuit of writing wasn’t a hopeless one.

During the first month of COVID-19′s outbreak last year, I finally had a much-needed vacation. This was undoubtedly the best time for me to have returned to writing—but I didn’t. At this point, so much time had passed since my last proper writing session that the few times I did try to write, I found myself completely unable to write anything. I was so out of practice and so out of touch with what I had written. This honestly frightened me, and I soon began to doubt if I could ever be able continue the story with the same quality that so many readers fell in love with. Regrettably, I fled from this revelation long enough for a full month to pass by, and I soon found myself busy with yet another distraction: unemployment.

I was out of work for about 4.5 months, from the middle of March to the beginning of August. During this time, I had to rely on state unemployment, which earned me great scorn from my older sister. Our relationship had always been uneven since we were kids, but it was becoming increasingly toxic as of late since our college years. I felt so ashamed to tell her how much money I made in a year from my job as a film freelancer, and how I barely managed to move to a better position after four years of work. Riddled with guilt and disappointment in myself, when work became readily available again in August, I frantically threw myself back in harder than ever before. In the past where I had turned down the occasional job to give myself some time to relax or in order to make it to a social outing with friends, I now accepted every job thrown my way, only declining those that would make me double-book myself. I earned a lot of money during those months as a result, and I was so happy to finally distance myself from the stigma of being “unemployed.” However, I once again failed to see that I was yet again sliding back into the lifestyle that had been slowly poisoning me for the past two years.

After essentially working non-stop from August to March, my body, mind, and soul soon returned right back to the brink of collapse. It wasn’t until then at my lowest point when I finally realized how I initially went from working to sustain myself in order to write, to not writing at all and only working to sustain myself to work even more. It was truly scary to see myself fall victim to a brutal cycle of unfulfilling work that could have trapped me for years to come if I hadn’t broken free first. That’s when I realized that my lifestyle was personally unsustainable, and that something had to change.

Henceforth, I’ve made the difficult decisions to both transition out of film freelancing and to soon return home to live with my father. At the end of April, the homeowner of the townhouse my roommate and I had been living in for close to three years gave us our 30-days-notice to vacate, as they no longer wished to rent but to sell the property. As my roommate had been planning on finding a place of his own with his girlfriend for quite some time, we split amicably at the end of last month in May and I’ve since moved into a temporary apartment with a friend who has traveled back to Maryland for seasonal work.

Regarding the change in my career, I’ve been looking into applying for writing positions for something that I’ve grown to enjoy over the past few years, which is to write reviews for media such as film, anime, and videogames. This of course is not what I truly want to do in life, but I think that because it actually involves writing, it would be both good practice in terms of practicing my writing and experience in terms of resume-building. Furthermore, a stable “9-5″ job as such would be good for me, I think, as it would introduce some desperately needed structure back into my life. Being a freelancer was definitely fun as I had the power to choose my own schedule, but it unfortunately fostered a lot of laziness and procrastination when I wasn’t completely burnt out.

I’ve shared with you all this information, a great deal of it being very personal, in the hopes that it helps you better understand who I am as a person and what I’ve been going through these past four years.

I understand that my word may be difficult to trust due to my history, but I sincerely wish to let you all know from the bottom of my heart that I do plan on continuing writing The White Rose of Vermilion until it’s completed. My fears and insecurities may have alienated me from that promise, but not once did I ever entertain the idea of fully dropping the story. And I promise you, I never will. It most likely will not further my career in any way, bring any revenue in, and will continue to consume a great deal of my precious free time—yet I still choose to pursue continuing it because I can’t see a future where I don’t finish it.

It is after all my most cherished project; the reason that I was able to truly find my calling as an aspiring writer, its success also ultimately being the proof to my mother that I had some skill as a budding writer, who then gave me her full blessings to pursue it as a career. But most important of all is that it’s the reason why I was able to experience first-hand one of the most important and beautiful discoveries in my entire life. That being the incredible phenomenon of how art is like a beacon—its bright light is powerful enough to reach out and inspire others to create art of their own. From Monty Oum to Nancy Phetchareune to myself, I was blessed enough to see readers create wonderful fanart to show me or tell me in a review that reading my story had inspired them to create something of their own.

I am officially leaving behind my prolonged hiatus and returning to working on The White Rose of Vermilion. While I am extremely hesitant to even estimate when the next chapter will be published, please know that I am genuinely trying to leave behind my habits of old and returning to a more consistent schedule.

The White Rose of Vermilion will return in:

Arc II, Chapter Twenty-Seven: Stranger in the Night

#TWRoV #The White Rose of Vermilion

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lizamango · 3 years ago

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Finding You (Bucky Barnes x Reader) 2/?

A/N: Hi everyone! I’ve decided to call this fic Finding You, just to inform you for future chapters! Getting my second vaccine tomorrow!! 😁🤩

Summary: You’ve been one of SHIELD’s top spies for years but what happens when the organisation you’ve put your trust in crumbles and Captain America gives you a mission to help him find his best friend? The last thing you expected to happen was to fall in love with your assignment and become best friends with a witch.

Taglist ~ just comment if you wanna be added

@buckylokisimp, @white-wolf-buckaroo, @austynparksandpizza, @markandlexies

Word Count: 2345 (this is so fucking satisfying omg)

Masterlist

Chapter 1

Warnings: Just curse words, rewrites are hard but it’s kinda like shifting but through fanfiction??

Chapter Summary: Steve Rogers doesn’t trust you very much

Chapter 2: BUT YOU KNOW BETTER

On our way back, the STRIKE team is on celebration mode while Rogers is quiet. It won’t be a surprise if he goes to see Fury about the side mission I was assigned without his knowing. As we land on the Triskelion landing pad I watch as Captain Rogers leaves without a goodbye and heads to, undoubtedly, Fury’s office.

I tune into Fury’s communicator.

“Heads up, Fury. Angry Cap on your way. He found out about my mission.”

“Batroc?” he asks.

“He got away,” I answer regrettably.

“I’ll have international agents on high alert. You’ve done your part. Just leave the drive with me after Rogers.”

“Yes sir.”

I put all the weapons into the cache and go to clean up, changing out of my stealth suit and into a SHIELD hoodie and sweats that I keep in the locker for after missions. I wait by Fury’s office doors and he finally emerges from the elevator without an angry Cap.

“Gave him a little tour of Project Insight,” he says as he unlocks his office.

I walk in behind him. “That’s brave of you.”

“He didn’t like it.” He takes a seat and so did I.

“I’m sure he didn’t.” I fish out the hard drive and put it on the table. “One super secret hard drive for Nicholas J Fury,” I announce like a waitress.

“Good job.”

“He didn’t think so.”

“I want you to keep an eye on him. Just make sure he doesn’t do anything, alright?”

“What could he possibly do?” I raise my brows.

“He isn’t on board. I need you to get him there.”

“Don’t you already have an agent assigned to him?”

“Agent 13 is for when he’s off duty. You will be there for when he’s on.”

I scoff. “Have you met the guy? That’s all the time.”

“That’s an order, Agent.”

I nod. “Fine. Have you heard anything else on HYDRA?”

“The last reliable intel we have is three years old now, Y/N. It’s hard to track them down.”

“I don’t understand why you had to take me out. I was getting close to something. Someone. I don’t know.”

“Finding the world’s greatest soldier just took precedent. You weren’t getting anywhere for a whole year. Whatever it was, they packed it up tight.”

“Because it was something big,” I defend. “I still think you made the wrong choice. Captain America doesn’t need two babysitters.”

“Well, you try being asleep and waking up 70 years after to a whole new world and see how you feel. You’re dismissed. Get some rest. Make nice with the old man.”

I get up and leave his office. Make nice…. How do I do that when he doesn’t trust me anymore?

I get a ride home from Fitz who congratulated me on completing the mission.

“So what was he like?”

“He doesn’t like me very much,” I chuckle.

“Why not? What did you do?” he asks in an accusing tone.

“Me?!”

“He’s the perfect man, what could he have done?”

I roll my eyes but don’t answer. We arrive at my apartment and I thank Fitz for the ride back.

Unlocking my door I go straight to the bathroom for a bath. I run the water to the perfect temperature and add a bath bomb that turns the water a glittery lilac scented with lavender. I also light a candle that crackles like a fireplace that emits a subtle smokey French vanilla. A girl’s gotta treat herself. After a good long soak I get out and decide to rest up not wanting to do anything for the rest of the day.

I wake from my nap to the ringing of my phone. Reaching over to my bedside table I read the screen which has nothing but the number 1212. Well, that can’t be good.

“This is L/N,” I say.

“I need you to find the star. Keep your guard up.”

Shit, I think as I jump out of bed and get dressed in something inconspicuous. Black trousers, leather combat boots, a Kevlar vest under a back hoodie, two pistols on my belt and a knife tucked in each boot. I pick up a grey Von Dutch trucker hat on my way out.

Walking is the safest option so I navigate toward Steve Rogers’ DC apartment that he was relocated to after the New York Invasion as he decided to become a full time SHIELD agent.

I arrive outside his apartment and see Sharon on her way out.

“What are you doing here?” she asks.

“Mission. Waiting for the Captain,” I say. I look at her scrubs. “How you liking the infectious disease ward?” I ask.

She rolls her eyes and laughs. “Well it’s just a uniform. I guess it’s better than people shooting armour piercing bullets at me.”

“I’ll see you ‘round, Kate,” I wave, using her alias.

I track Steve’s whereabouts on my phone and see that he’s at a counselling centre for veterans. Fair enough, it’s good to admit you need help.

What do you want me to do here, Fury? I wonder to myself. I decide to do a perimeter check for any bugs, wire taps or double agents.

I reach an alleyway and after peering into it I hear the scraping of a manhole against the ground. I reach for my gun and keep it to the side as I slowly approach it.

I hear a grunt and raise the gun.

“Agent,” I immediately recognize the voice as Fury’s. “Stand down.”

“Shit, Fury.” I holster the gun and help him out of the manhole. “What happened, who did this?”

“Not safe,” he says in pain.

“W-where do we go? Rogers isn’t inside.” I inspect his wounds. “Looks like you have multiple fractures on your left arm and abdominal bruising-“

“Car ambush,” he utters as he approaches the fire escape. “Stay out here, keep a look out.” He pushes a phone into my hand, I don’t recognize it as his day to day. “Anything happens, secure line 0405. I have to… get to Rogers. Do not engage unless enemies fire first.”

“Fury-“

“That’s an order.”

I put the phone into my back pocket and stay behind as he climbs up and through the Captain’s Window.

The sky is starting to darken so I make my way through the perimeter again. Sharon returns and shortly after that, Rogers arrives, weary but alert. Just as a soldier would.

I hear some 40s music coming from the walls of the Captain’s apartment. I suppose he heard it too and got suspicious because he exits his apartment building to climb up the very same fire escape that Fury did.

My eyes follow him up and survey the roof of the building for any suspicious activity.

Suddenly three shots are fired right into one of the apartment building’s walls.

“Fuck!” I whisper, looking for the source.

“Foxtrot is down, he’s unresponsive. I need EMTs,” I hear one of my comms come through. It’s Sharon’s voice.

“Do we have a 20 on the shooter?” a dispatcher responds.

Before I know it, Captain Rogers is jumping out of his window and into the building the shots came from.

“Captain Rogers is in pursuit,” Agent Carter says.

I follow the Captain as he runs through a building following the shooter while he runs on the roof. They don’t fight but Rogers manages to throw the shield at him and does what some would say impossible as he catches it and throws it back just as hard. I stop where I am and just observe which is what Fury wanted me here for. The shooter jumps from the building and it looks like he catches himself using his… metal… arm. I look up and see Rogers standing at the edge of the rooftop, looking back down the shooter is out of sight.

“Transporting Foxtrot to BridgePoint Hospital Capitol Hill,” the dispatcher says from my comms. After sweeping the place one more time for any sign of the shooter and coming up empty I decide to take a cab to the hospital.

I put out an arm but it’s not a cab that stops in front of me.

“Get in, L/N.”

“Hill?” I get into the passenger’s seat and she starts to drive. “You’re supposed to be –“

“Fury called.”

“He was shot.”

“I know. Ballistics will tell us more at the hospital.”

“He’s gonna be okay,” I say but it’s more for my comfort than hers.

We arrive at the hospital and Maria takes a phone call while I find his room number, viewing the operation through the glass. Rogers is already there.

“Is he gonna make it?” I ask the Captain.

“I don’t know.”

“Tell me about the shooter.”

“He’s fast. Strong. Had a metal arm.”

“Ballistics?” I ask, knowing he can hear Hill’s conversation outside.

“Three slugs, no rifling. Completely untraceable,” he answers and looks at me.

Hill enters.

“Soviet-made,” I add as I put the picture together in my head.

“How did you know?”

I don’t get to answer her as the surgeons and nurses say that Fury’s in V-tach and rush to solve the problem.

“Fuck’s sake, Fury,” I whisper. “Don’t do this.” My hands start to shake as they lose his pulse and can’t bring him back. I notice that I’m mumbling something repeatedly but I can’t realise what.

I feel Rogers leave as the team gives up.

“Time of death, 1:03am,” the doctor calls.

I watch them wheel him out as Hill goes too. Taking a deep breath, I walk outside into the hallway.

“How did you know they were soviet-made?” Rogers asks, following me.

“Do you trust me?” I ask him, turning to face him.

“No. How did you know?”

“Why are you asking me when you don’t trust me?”

“Why are you dodging the question?”

“Cap!” Rumlow calls. “They want you back at SHIELD.”

“Give me a minute.”

“They want you now.”

“Okay,” he replies irritated.

“You’re not gonna ask me what Nick was doing in my apartment?” he asks.

“I know what he was doing there. Do you?” I raise a brow and turn on my heel, walking away.

I see Maria in the viewing room with Fury’s… body.

“I need to take him,” she says. “Don’t get yourself into trouble, alright?”

I roll my eyes. “I’m not a child, Maria.”

“Do you want a ride anywhere?”

“I’m good, thanks.”

“What, you’re just gonna hang around here until Rogers comes back?”

Yes that’s exactly what I was going to do. “No.”

She chuckles and walks away. I wait for all the SHIELD and STRIKE agents to clear out of the floor to go back into the waiting area. I go to the vending machine to pick up a snack and notice something that shouldn’t be there… the drive I gave Fury with SHIELD intel hidden behind three packets of bubble gum. Frowning I buy out the stack until the drive also falls to the dispenser. I take a seat, waiting for Rogers.

I don’t realise when I fell asleep until someone shakes me gently.

“I heard.”

I look up and it’s Sharon. “Hey.”

“How are you doing?”

“I’m fine.”

“Sure.”

“Don’t you have an assignment debriefing to give?” I reply.

She shrugs. “That can wait. I wanted to see how you were doing.”

“Did you wanna know what Fury was doing at Rogers’ apartment too?” I ask, suspicious.

“Do you know?”

I nod.

“Then that’s all I need to know.”

“Fury trusts – trusted him,” I correct myself. “That means we have to.”

A beeping comes from her wrist communicator and she sighs. “I have to go. I’ll keep you in the loop about what happens at the Triskelion.”

I frown. “Why would I need to be kept in the loop?”

“Because I know you’re gonna be on the run, soon. With him. To find that shooter. Pierce won’t like that you’re after him outside of mission directives…”

“I know. You be careful, Sharon.”

She smiles stiffly and I know it’s because she’s worried about me. “If I didn’t know better I’d say you were being careless and rash.”

“But you know better.”

She chuckles softly and turns to leave. I get up walk around to stretch my legs. Where the fuck is Rogers?

An hour passes and I’m back where I started but I see the man of the hour stop in front of the vending machine. I pop a strip of gum in my mouth and walk up behind him, blowing a bubble.

His face sharpens and he sighs then pulls me by the arm and takes us into a room.

“Where is it?”

“Safe.”

“Do better.”

“Fury trusted me. I’m on your side if he trusts you.”

“He doesn’t trust anyone. That’s the problem. That’s why he’s dead,” he says harshly.

I swallow the lump forming in my throat.

Rogers sighs and pulls away. “What’s on it?”

“I don’t know.”

“I bet you knew Fury hired the Pirates didn’t you?” he accuses.

No, no I didn’t. Stunned, I blink at the news. “Made sense. The ship was dirty, Fury needed a way in, so do you.”

“How did you know it was Soviet-made?” he repeats his earlier question, losing patience.

“I know who killed Fury,” I say. “The metal arm… I knew as soon as I saw it. 2009, Natasha had a mission in Odessa. Someone shot out her tires and killed the engineer she was protecting by shooting right through her. Soviet slug, no rifling. Metal arm. The intelligence community call him The Winter Soldier. I’ve heard him as the Asset. That’s who killed Fury.”

“How do we find him?”

“He’s been credited with two dozen assassinations in the last 50 years, Rogers. You don’t go after him. I’ve tried.”

He looks up at that, as if surprised. But he doesn’t know half the shit I’ve been through while working for SHIELD.

“So he’s a shadow.”

“Was.” I pull the drive out of my pocket and hold it up to him.

“Let’s find the Asset, then.”

💖

Thank you for reading! I’ll update once I’ve finished Chapter 4 but I am busy this weekend!

Chapter 3

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #steve rogers #slowburn #enemies to lovers #steve rogers x platonic!reader #captain america #bucky barnes fic #steve rogers fic #reader insert #rewrite #series rewrite #marvel #mcu

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ellstersmash · 3 years ago

Text

fic writer ao3 questionnaire thingy

tagged by @bearlytolerant and @ejunkiet for this 💙 thx buddies

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

79,572

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

these are all solavellan which I guess is not surprising... but to be fair, my mass effect fics just missed the cut

three (modern!au WIP that could technically be finished where I left it but needs a rewrite bc i started it before i learned how to make more thoughtful choices)

nothing on my tongue (collection of playlist-inspired <500 word vignettes that sort of work as a whole story)

awake, alive (two-shot ? about not-kissing in the rain. *smacks the roof* this bad boy can fit so much romantic and sexual tension in it)

the naughty list (a very smutty christmas fic, and another two-shot)

waking up (post-trespasser prompt fill about kissin your not-ex-boyfriend to help him see how dumb he's being)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes, I do. commenting can be intimidating when you don't know the writer, so in that case it feels disrespectful not to even acknowledge the effort. same with extensive comments. and oftentimes the commenter brings up questions or points out interesting moments that you can then have mo re of a conversation about.

honestly comments aren't about the compliments (though those are always nice to hear), they're about the connection. I wrote this, you read it. we both want to feel seen. consider my response an acknowledgement of our connection.

5. What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

principles, which is just a one-shot so the whole thing is angsty, but it definitely ends even less happily than nomt...

6. What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

probably three, but since the last chapter is technically not the ending... I think to the water (smutty dragon age OCxOC indulgence) takes it! it is also, coincidentally, some of my tightest writing.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've written?

i do not. i don't generally love reading or writing them tbh

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

nope, but there's always tomorrow!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i sure do, but uh what kind? the um... the quick and snappy kind where you hope to squeeze at least a little heat out of those 600 words? idfk

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i am aware of

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that i am aware of

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

not that i am awa- wait, yes! i collaborated with my past self on not to keep, a shenko fake-dating one-shot that I wrote most of in 2017!! lol ok but like with other people, no.

13. What's your all-time favorite ship?

well that's not a fair question to ask. how about top three: mayo, solathi, and bethistair

14. What's a WIP that you want to finish, but don't think you ever will?

i mean there's always some hope, but.. arlathan!au. 🥀rip

15. What are your writing strengths?

being concise: i try to be efficient with my word choice, and cram a lot of characterization/meaning into a handful of words

i think i hit a decent balance of description, action, dialogue, and interiority?

giving certain sentences that satisfying cadence

im good at beginnings. fuck endings tho

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

dialogue. im a lot better than i used to be, but still struggle with it

i don't understand smut and it doesn't understand me

my stamina is shit!!! which is why i write small things and that works fine but when i occasionally want to write something long (beach fic my love) i get overwhelmed and discouraged.

im just.. not that creative lmao this head is empty

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i do not do it, but all the best to ppl who do ig. hopefully someone knows how to do it well... once i read a longfic that did this sort of a lot and the translations were all in the chapter end notes on ao3 and it was such a PAIN to scroll down then find my place again

but i just don't do it bc im lazy :}

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

newsies lmao (which came out when i was 3! never been on time to a fandom in my life ✌🏻😌)

19. What's your favorite fic you've ever written?

uhhhhh well right now i am most satisfied with anybody's hands (pre-relationship mayo), but like the writing of be gentle with me (also mayo), but am most proud of nothing on my tongue. idk which would be considered my favorite.

idk who hasn't been tagged yet but @thevikingwoman, @boshtet-juggler, @kittlesandbugs, @ladymdc, and @writer-ish, if you've done this will you pls tag me in it so i can see?? and the rest of yall if you got this far and have stuff on ao3 i am BEGGING you to say i tagged you pls i do not even care if we're mutuals or not

#ellster speaks #fic writer tag game #gotta say it bugs me there's no 20 #these are the same ppl that leave the volume at 11 huh

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fruitquake · 4 years ago

Text

realizations pt. 1

read it on ao3

James Potter knows he likes girls. In his mind, that has always meant he must be straight. Of course he’s straight. Whenever he sits next to Lily Evans in class, his heart flutters and he gets all useless and flustered. He has kissed girls before, and liked it.

But then, Regulus kissed him, and he’s pretty sure a straight guy wouldn’t have liked it as much as he did. He’s pretty sure a straight guy wouldn’t be up all night, replaying it in his head, a hopeless burning sensation is his chest.

Regulus kissed him. Or did he kiss Regulus? He’s a little fuzzy on those details. But crystal clear is Reg’s lips on his own, the feeling of being featherlight as everything else faded into the background, leaving only him and Regulus.

James sighs, pressing both hands against his eyes until he sees stars, and once again, Regulus is there, a crystal clear image of soft lips and silky black hair that James messed up with his hands as they kissed. Just as he isn’t sure who initiated the kiss, it’s also a bit unclear to him who broke it off. Only that he had been absolutely speechless, staring into Regulus’s eyes for a hint that he had felt what James had felt during that kiss. Then Regulus had muttered some obvious excuse about a curfew and he had been off, leaving James with a warm, confusing feeling bubbling in his stomach.

Regulus is practically family to James. When Sirius ran away from home, Regulus stayed, and for over a year they didn’t talk. Reg avoided him at school. James remembers how hard that was on Sirius. But now, things are good between them. Reg comes over almost every day, without his parents knowing. He’s almost as much a part of the family as Sirius.

It hadn’t occurred to James, before today, that the way he feels about Regulus, the soft affection that makes his cheeks warm, could be anything other than platonic. But that bloody kiss...

James slides out of bed and gets dressed, careful not to wake Sirius, who sleeps in the top bunk. There’s one place he goes when he needs to clear his head. He tiptoes over to the window and opens it as quietly as he possibly can, glancing over his shoulder to check that Sirius is still asleep. He seems to be, so James slides out of the window and onto the roof. He sits down, careful not to step on the loose shingle. His mum doesn’t want him or Sirius to go onto the roof, of fear that they will fall down, but they do it anyway, because there really is no better place to just… sit and be. He looks down onto the street below him, the streetlights the only thing shining through the night. A cool breeze caresses his face, tugs at a rogue strand of hair. James closes his eyes.

There’s no way he isn’t straight. He has spent years watching Sirius and Remus pine after each other like idiots, and the past six months watching them be all gross and lovebird-y. And if he is… anything other than straight, wouldn’t he have realized sooner? He remembers asking Sirius, after his coming out, when he realized he was gay. Sirius had told him that, in a way, he had always known, but he had fully realized it by the time he was 12. For Remus, it was when he was 14, and similarly to Sirius, he had sort of half-known for years before that.

James had never questioned his sexuality before. Surely if he wasn’t straight, the thought would have occurred to him sooner, and not just after kissing a boy. A very, very pretty boy with very soft, kissable lips, who hadn’t left James’s mind ever since.

He sighs, leaning back his head and looking up at the sky, as though some God, if there really is one, is going to come down and give him all the answers.

“Oi.”

James starts and looks over his shoulder. Sirius is leaning against the window sill, squinting up at him. He’s wearing boxers and one of Remus’s t-shirts, which is slightly baggy on him.

“Oh,” James says, his voice a little hoarse. “I didn’t hear you get up.”

“What kind of 2 AM crisis are you having up here, and why didn’t you invite me?” Sirius asks.

James huffs a nervous laugh. “I…” he begins, but trails off, not knowing where to even start.

Sirius heaves himself up, crawling through the window and out onto the roof besides James, and James can’t help but worry that he will catch a cold, sitting out here with bare arms and legs. “Come on, spill the beans, Potter,” Sirius says, nudging their shoulders together.

“Sirius…” James looks down at his hands, nervously fidgeting. “You always say that your gaydar is flawless.”

“Uh-huh,” Sirius says. “And I have yet to be proven wrong on that.”

“Well, d’you think… could I be… anything other than straight?” He’s too nervous to look at Sirius, so he keeps his eyes on his own hands.

“Oh. It’s that kind of crisis,” Sirius says. James’s eyes dart up to meet Sirius’s. He’s leaning back a little, looking at James with thoughtful consideration. “I mean…” he begins. “I’d be lying if I said the thought hadn’t crossed my mind.”

James blinks, a little perplexed. “Really?” He had expected Sirius to laugh and tell him how ridiculous that was. That James was the straightest person he knew.

“Yeah,” Sirius just says, tilting his head back to look at the sky. It’s cloudy. Almost no stars. “I mean, I’ve caught you staring weirdly at guys several times. And you always used to get flustered around the older teammates when you first joined the football team.”

“Well,” James says hurriedly. “That was because, you know… They were older and so much more experienced and…” Really fucking handsome. He sighs, dropping his face into his hands. “I’m honestly so confused.”

“What exactly sparked this sudden confusion?” Sirius asks. “You’ve always seemed rather confident in your supposed heterosexuality.”

James pushes up his glasses, which had been falling down the bridge of his nose. He hesitates, carefully watching Sirius. When it comes to his brother, Sirius is incredibly protective, and James isn’t entirely convinced he won’t get pushed off the roof for telling the truth.

“I kissed Regulus,” he says finally, deciding that Sirius probably won’t push him off the roof.

A beat. “What?”

James swallows nervously. “I… kissed your brother. Or maybe he kissed me. A kiss happened, between me and your brother.” He watches Sirius for several agonizing seconds. “Please, don’t be mad.”

“I’m not… mad,” Sirius says. “If you were anyone else, I probably would be grabbing you by your shirt collar and threatening your life right now, but… You’re James Potter. I’d trust you with my bloody life.”

James releases a breath of relief. “Right,” he mutters. “Thank you, Sirius.”

There’s a stretch of silence between them, which Sirius is the one to break. “So… you kissed Reg,” he reiterates. “And you liked it?”

The kiss forces its way back into James’s mind, and he lets out a strange sound between a sigh and a groan. “I… think so,” he says. “I mean, whenever I think about it, I get this warm, bubbly, incredible feeling in my chest, and… Well, I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Sirius grins, shaking his head in amusement. “Yeah,” he says. “Doesn’t sound very straight to me.”

Well, yeah. James knows he’s right, but he can’t quite wrap his head around it.

“It’s just,” he says quietly. “I definitely like girls. I’ve always known I like girls. I mean, for goodness’s sake, I’ve been crushing on Lily for years.”

“Yes.” Sirius nods. “But that doesn’t automatically make you straight, J. You can like girls and guys, you know.”

“I know…”

Sirius covers his mouth, stifling a yawn. “I think you should talk to Re about this,” he says. “I mean, he’s the expert, really. Like… A Bisexual Messiah or something.”

That earns him a laugh from James. “Yeah, he is, isn’t he? You’re right. I’ll… talk to him tomorrow, probably.”

“Lovely,” Sirius says. “Can we please go back inside now? I’m freezing my bloody ass off.”

“You could’ve put on some trousers and a jumper, you moron!” James scolds him, and Sirius shoves him gently.

“Babe,” Sirius says over lunch the next day, taking Remus’s hand in his own. They share a disgustingly sweet look. “I think James had something he wanted to talk to you about.”

Remus looks at him, chewing a bit of his sandwich. He swallows. “Oh?”

“Er...” James looks around the crowded school cafeteria. “Can we talk somewhere more private, maybe?”

Peter looks up from his lunch. “What’s it about?” he asks James.

“Nothing,” James says, a bit too fast. “There’s just something I wanted to ask Re. It’s nothing interesting, don’t worry, Pete.”

“Then why do you need to go somewhere private?” Peter presses on.

Sirius opens a canned soda, looking around to check that no teachers are close by. Every day at lunch, he plays the same game of “Can I drink my soda before a teacher confiscates it?” Most days he’s not quick enough to actually finish it, but it doesn’t stop him from trying. “Damn, Petey,” he says. “Maybe it’s none of your fucking business. Shut up and eat.”

If someone else talked to Peter like that, they would probably end up with Sirius’s fist in their face, but apparently, it’s fine when Sirius does it himself.

Remus takes another bite of his sandwich, before putting it down. “Well,” he says to James. “We can go find an empty classroom if you’d like.” He looks intrigued, and James guesses Sirius hasn’t told him anything yet.

“Yeah, that’d be great,” James says, suddenly feeling a bit nervous. It was one thing, telling Sirius last night. He has always told Sirius everything, and there’s something about that spot on the roof that makes late-night talks feel… almost sacred. Telling Remus will be a bit more daunting. But he follows Remus out of the cafeteria and into an empty classroom, anyway.

“So,” Remus says, shutting the door behind them. “What did you wanna talk about?”

James realizes he probably should’ve thought this through beforehand. He has no clue what to say. “Well,” he begins awkwardly. “You’re bi.”

For a few long seconds, Remus just looks at him, confused. “Yes?” he says. “I… know?”

James sighs, leaning back against the teacher’s desk. He combs a hand through his hair, messing it up at the back. “Yeah, it’s just that, er… I think I might be bi, too?” He looks up for Remus’s reaction.

“Oh!” Remus says. “But you aren’t sure, or…?”

“I don’t know,” James mumbles. “I’m bloody confused. And Siri said I should talk to you because you’re like… The Bisexual Messiah. I think that’s how he phrased it.”

Remus grins. “The Bisexual Messiah? Huh. I should get that on a t-shirt.” James must look quite miserable, because Remus clears his throat, looking a bit more serious. “So you’re questioning if you might be bi?” he asks softly.

James nods. “I kissed… someone,” he says. “A guy. It was Reg, actually.”

Remus arches an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything, so James goes on:

“And it felt really, really good. I practically haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. But I’ve just always thought of myself as, you know, completely straight. But, well, as Sirius pointed out to me yesterday, there’s not really anything straight about the way I felt when I kissed him.” He bites his lip, looking up at Remus.

“Right,” Remus says thoughtfully. “What exactly did you need me for? Sounds like you’ve got it figured out alright.”

“I have?” James asks in bewilderment.

Remus chuckles. “Okay, maybe not, then,” he says. “I just meant, you know… You’ve known for a long while that you liked girls. And now, after kissing Reg, you’ve realized that you like guys too, right?”

Does he like guys? James lets his mind wander, filtering through memories he didn’t realize he had archived. A gym locker room, all of them sweaty after football practice. One of the older students, shirtless, slinging an arm around James and telling him he played well, and James getting light-headed and flustered. He had told himself it just felt good to be acknowledged by an older, more skillful teammate, but looking back on it, it was possible that some of the heat rushing to his cheeks had been because of their bare skin touching. And then there were the dreams, which he had dismissed as not meaning anything, but… Perhaps dreaming about kissing boys did mean something.

“Huh,” he says finally. “I’m… lowkey stupid.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I’ve somehow managed to ignore loads of signs that I wasn’t straight. And I didn’t even realize it before now!”

Remus’s face softens. “Jem, that’s… completely normal. I think a lot of queer people at some point look back and wonder how they didn’t realize sooner. I certainly did.”

“Oh.” James laughs breathily. “Well… Shit. This is interesting.”

Remus laughs with him. “You know,” he says. “You can take as much time as you need to figure all of this out. And if you have any more questions, I’m here.”

“Thank you, Re,” he says. “But… I don’t think it’s necessary.”

“Oh, okay.”

James lets the silence stretch for a moment. His palms are sweating a little, and he wipes them on his trousers. “So, er… Can I tell you something?”

Remus smiles a little. “Yeah.”

“I’m bisexual,” James tells him, and… wow. Saying it out loud feels incredible, like a weight he didn’t know he was carrying being lifted off his shoulders. He grins.

Remus nods, grinning back at him. “That’s great, James, thank you for telling me!” Then, after a short pause: “Have you talked to Regulus?”

The mention of him brings the memory of the kiss back in full effect, and James can feel his cheeks heat up. He’s grateful that his darker skin makes it almost impossible to tell when he’s blushing, though he guesses Remus still senses it. “Not since he practically fled yesterday, after we… you know.”

“Ah,” Remus says. “Well… Maybe you should. Talk to him, I mean.”

James sighs, ruffling his hair with one hand. “Yeah,” he mumbles. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“I usually am,” Remus says with a grin. “That reminds me, Siri owes me ten pounds.”

“What? You and Sirius had a bet running on my sexuality?” James asks, slightly indignant, but more curious than anything.

Remus shrugs. “Well, no. We had a bet running on whether you would realize before we graduated. And you did!” He throws his hands up in a little gesture of victory, and James groans.

“You’re the worst,” he says. “You’re both the bloody worst.”

#james potter #regulus black #sirius black #remus lupin #marauders #marauders era #muggle au #bisexual james potter #aroace regulus black #marauders fanfiction #marauders fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction

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