#i assume for gender reasons. and i understand where that comes from. if someone called me ''girl'' while arguing i wouldn't like it

[punctuation-completionist]

you don’t have to answer this ask but wow how are you supposed to be the bad guy fucking apologizing for reacting badly to being told to kill yourself?? i hate this website

well okay hold up i never said i was the bad guy. i said there were misunderstandings on both sides and that i was sorry for an issue in one part of how i handled it. just one.

[walkingstackofbooks]

Doctor Bashir I Presume AU where Julian transitioned during the Academy but never told his parents: (This totally got out of hand I'm sorryyyy 😅)

"What did you do to your lovely hair?" - Amsha's first reaction to seeing him in Sisko's office (He always wore a wig to visit them. This is exactly why.)

"You must be very proud of your son." "Our... son?"

Richard and Amsha trying to hide how unimpressed they are because they know it's socially unacceptable to be transphobic

(Not that they'd call themselves transphobic, of course. They have trans friends! But with Jules, well, it's different, isn't it? With all that they spent on her enhancements, there's no way her DNA would have been left with any... imperfections. And when it comes down to it, their her parents - they know her better than she knows herself.)

Amsha complaining at dinner how Julian hadn't prepared them for the shock of seeing him. "How could you do this to us? We were so embarrassed in front of your Captain."

(As if it wasn't them in the first place who had showed up totally unannounced 🙃🙄)

Richard saying that if Julian had told them he'd been having these feelings from the beginning, they might have been able to get help for him before he ruined his body.

Richard (angrily): "You've got some nerve, asking us to be careful with this Zimmerman chap! With the sort of risks you've been taking? Don't you realise how easily you could have been found out, all for some unnecessary surgery?" Julian (painfully restrained): "I don't expect you to understand, father, but it was necessary for me." Amsha (sadly): "Your father's just looking out for you, Jules. Try to understand that."

Misunderstandings abound when talking to Miles*, but eventually it's cleared up that Julian's parents are shit.

Cue a lot of anger (and a lot more anger than Julian thought anyone would feel. Because, you know, when you grow up knowing that your parents aren't the most accepting people, you figure that's just what some parents are like, rather than assuming yours are among the most outliers of outliers...)

Miles tells Julian he should talk to Sisko and get his parents kicked off the station. Julian's like, "That's a nice idea, but the captain can't just do that unless he's got a good reason" and Miles is like "You do know that persistently misgendering someone is literally a Federation hate crime, right?"

The Bashirs of course deny any wrongdoing. Richard gets angry, claiming "it's a family matter". Amsha starts crying about how unfair it all is.

"You have to understand, Captain -- she's been our daughter for over thirty years. We know Jules is angry with us but please, she knows that we love her really. If you could just let us talk to her--"

Sisko is fuming. "I might believe you cared if you had made any attempt to get Julian's gender right." "You don't know what it's like!" Amsha protests. "This is all so sudden!" "I know exactly what it's like!" Ben snaps back. "And I'll tell you, I didn't for a second consider telling Jake that I didn't believe him, or that he must be mistaken, or that he needed to be patient with my mistakes. In fact, I made sure as hell that I didn't make mistakes. There's no case here, as far as I'm concerned. You're both confined to quarters until the next shuttle arrives."

So I guess in the aftermath of all that, Julian's enhancements never get revealed. Even if the Bashirs were to make an apology, Miles would shut the hologram down, now he knows what Julian's parents are like.

But I think they probably feel too betrayed to try and make an apology, even a bad one.

So yeah, they're forced off the station and Julina actually gets, like, support and stuff from his friends!

Also, for like, a month afterwards, all of Molly and Yoshi's bedtime stories have trans main characters because Miles is low-key anxious about them ever starting to feel like Julian had about it not being okay.

(Keiko catches onto this and just happens to invite Julian around one night when it's storytime. Molly gets Julian to read her book. It's cute.)

(Afterwards, he enthuses about how he wishes he'd had books like that when he was a kid. And that's... sad.)

About two months later, when enough time has passed that Jadzia can pretend this isn't about Julian (although it totally is), Jadzia gets Quark and Jake involved in digging up some Earth history and holding a stationwide Pride celebration. (Julian appreciates both the gesture and the pretense.)

Garak makes some huffy comment to Julian about how "of course the Federation would have a whole festival devoted to degeneracy". Julian rolls his eyes and is about to take the bait, when he suddenly realises, "Wait, didn't Dukat once accuse you of being a degenerate?" "Wholly unsubstantiated claims, my dear Doctor." "Of course," Julian agrees sagely. "Although," he adds, a grin dancing across his lips, "if you ever find yourself wanting to substantiate them, Mister Garak..."

*The Misunderstandings:

"No offense, Julian, but you look wrecked. Is everything okay?"

Not meeting Miles' eyes, Julian takes a breath, as if to compose himself. "Let's just say that my parents are not exactly taking the news that I'm trans well."

In the moment, Miles chooses the wrong part of the sentence to focus on. "Wait, you're trans?"

Julian shrugs unhappily, a flash of anxiety passing over his face. "That doesn't... change how you feel about me, does it?" he asks hesitantly.

"'Course not!" replies Miles. "It's a bit of a surprise, I'll give you that, but-- No, sorry, I mean: what pronouns do you want me to use? Do you want to go by a different name?"

Before Julian can respond, Miles has another thought. "And what do you mean, your parents aren't taking this well? You're their son! -- Sorry, daughter-- offspring-- their child, I mean--"

"Hold up, Chief," Julian says, shaking his head in bemusement. "I'm still Julian. I'm very much a man. My parents just didn't know that until... yesterday."

"You never told them?"

"No."

"For how long?"

"Twelve years, if you're counting from when I first came out. More like twenty if you go from when I first knew."

"Jesus." Miles runs a hand through his hair. "Well, at least that explains why they're mad. That's an awfully big thing to hide from your own parents, Julian."

Julian grimaces. "I know," he replies, looking down. "It wasn't exactly brave, I guess but... I don't know. It was easier to cope with being misgendered because they didn't know, than being misgendered on purpose, you know?"

Being misgendered on purpose? This is such a bizarre statement, so at odds with what Miles knows of the world, that it takes him a minute to try and wrap his head around it.

"I'm lost, I'm afraid," he says eventually. "I can't, um-- Julian, what happened when you told your parents?"

[taragreenfield]

I saw your comment about not liking Darklina because you felt Alina wasn’t suited for Aleksander (which I agree with!) But if you had free reign, how would you create the perfect love interest for him? What personality traits would they have, and how would you make them attractive to him? I’m curious to know what kind of character you think would actually be a good match for Aleksander :)

Hi! Thanks for the question.

Well, first of all, it should be, of course, someone who sees him as a man and not a monster. Someone who tries to understand where he's coming from, even if they don't necessarily agree with everything he's doing. Someone who doesn't automatically assume the worst about him.

It should be someone who treat him as equal, and doesn't assume some sort of moral authority over him. My least favourite trope is when the FMC, the paragon of virtue and morality, deigns to give some affection to an absolute wreck of a man and try and "save" him. He doesn't need salvation. He needs love and acceptance. The two characters in the ship should be flawed (as all humans are) and not shy away from their darker side. Trying to mold your partner into something more palatable to you is a reprehensible way to treat someone you love.

I don't believe Aleksander needs a submissive, obedient partner, so it should be someone who is able to challenge him and call him out if necessarily, not from the emotionally immature position, by screaming "you are a monster!" and running away, but from the position of reason and common sense. Someone should have told Sasha that it makes much more sense to expand the Fold to some Fjerdan city than to a city in his own country. His partner shouldn't be afraid of their powers and own them to the fullest.

His partner should share his passion for protecting the Grisha and recognize that the real villain is the system that oppresses them (the very system Alina sided with, ahem).

In terms of powers, Aleksander's partner should be also immortal and their powers should be comparable to his. Not necessarily sun powers (I personally find light powers a bit boring and overdone), but if you absolutely want to go for Light/Dark dynamics, at least get light powers right for once. Have you seen the actual Sun? It's not a sweet pure saintly figure that hands out blessings and smiles like a fool while wearing a halo. The Sun can burn your eyes out. It can turn the earth into a radioactive wasteland. It causes skin cancer. It's not unicorns and rainbows.

In terms of gender, I don't think it matters. In terms of age, I suppose, it should be somebody younger than Aleksander, because I kinda like the idea of him feeling human again with them (although I don't believe that Alina who dehumanized him at every turn could have made him feel like that).

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 3.2

The thing is Paul just physically can't say what he feels. It's just an impossibility for him. So if he says reading a negative article about himself “doesn't help” or “it's not good” but it “doesn't get home” I just assume he means ‘It hurts, but I can't think about that too hard or I'll go into a self-hate suicidal spiral again’. 

I always love how Paul says Linda. “Linder is er, nature mad.” 

She!!

Hearing Paul talk about watching Mary be born makes me wonder if John was there with Sean? Also I wonder if Linda would talk about the experience so glowingly. Probably. She's tough as nails. I had a lovely experience, personally, after the epidural lol

“Dear friend . . . I'm in love with a friend of mine.” This is such a strange and beautiful song. It's a man who has to apologize to his friend for falling in love with someone else. At least, that's my interpretation. What's everyone else's?

I understand why he's so closed off. I do. But when John is going off every five seconds, we're missing half the picture here and it's turning out warped. They really are such a good study of attachment honestly.

“Nothing will ever break the love we have for each other.” White-knuckling my way through this section with this quote clenched in my fist.

Yoko, talking about John fighting with Paul: any couple will go from swearing to kissing and it's like that. What favors are you doing yourself here, babe? Maybe John's the PR mastermind between the two of them.

I find John's comparison of working with his romantic partner to being ambidextrous very confusing. Does he mean just doing two things at once?

“If I can't have a fight with my best friend, I don't know who I can have a fight with.” -- Intro slutty gender-fluid Wings Paul my beloved -- “Tell me why, why, why do you treat me so bad? So bad? When you're the best friend a man ever had?” I heard on some podcast somewhere. Someone was going on about how forward-thinking the Beatles were to refer to the women in their songs as “friends”. And I was like, nununununu do not give them that credit.

This is just soooo. In this era? 90 minutes in the middle of a recording session?

John: Sorry, my estranged fiance is calling, gotta take a break. Guitarist: again? Drummer: how estranged can they be if they call every three minutes? Yoko: should we just record the other parts or . . . John: (receiver cradled to his cheek, lovesick grin on his face) Hey, how was Heather's school program? Haha, yeah, I bet she was.

Okay, so you've made up with Paul and now you're done being homophobic? *Cardi b voice* well that's suspicious. 

The fact that John's asking Paul to play on stage with him in 1972?? Ugh! If it was just about legalities and money and shit I would be genuinely so pissed at Paul for not going. If only because Come Together sounds incredibly lame without his bass and piano. But also for the obvious fix-it reasons. I have to remind myself of how truly awful Klein was. By being the only one to stand firm against him, Paul actually ended up saving them all from a lot of trouble. But gosh would this have been good!

Things normal people say, for sure, for sure.

Okay in my head it went like this. John calls George and bitches about what an egomaniac Paul is because he won't do anything with him as long as Klein is involved. George gets off the phone and calls Ringo and they make a bet as to how long it is until John decides they should get rid of Klein. 

“Where's your audience, Paul?” “In the theater, Dave.” As he should. The cuntiness is unparalleled. Yeah, maybe people like to see a family friendly eclectic magic pixie sexy hard rock floor show? Ever thought about that, Dave?

Anyway, he seems genuinely pissed when the interviewer even mentions the other Beatles and he refuses to even admit he still talks to any of them. Why? 

John's just so benevolent and selfless. He's completely straight, of course, but he's always offering to do gay shit. You know. To be nice. 

I forget that not only was May their literal employee, but she was ten years younger on top of that. And yet, she managed to do so much good in that relationship. I have so much respect for her. 

There's obviously a lot going on behind the scenes that they don't say in interviews. Duh. But I wonder what it is that caused Paul to be so open and happy in this interview where he's asked about the other Beatles compared to before. I wonder if he and John had a really lovely talk, or if he's heard a demo of “I know, I know.” Or maybe it's just he's so reassured that they've got rid of Klein that he feels safe acting open to a reunion on record. Who knows, Yoko. 

So so smart to pair “In My Life” handwritten lyrics with the matching lyrics of “I know I know” playing at the same time. I forget about that connection (“I love you more”) because it's so overshadowed by the “than yesterday” right after. I seriously wonder if John thought he was being so obvious with this one the way he was with HDYS and half hoped people would ask him if it was about Paul and he could make up for the whole thing. Because it's just so heavy-handed. It's beautiful. I love it. I'm sure Paul loved it. But yeah. John's just beating us over the head with the references here. 

I also wonder (very tentatively!!!) if Paul was maybe a bit more emotionally vulnerable with John than we usually think. I would never think this except for the “you know I nearly broke down and cried” “I'm sorry that I made you cry” and “no more crying!” I don't know. What do we think? 

His little baby smirk. It's so silly and cute. He's being very positive about getting back together, and the interviewer asks if John would initiate that. Just a very coy, “a, well, I couldn't say.” I wonder if at that point if he'd said on live tv that he wanted to get together again if it would've happened. Seems like it might have, but I understand him being scared. 

Elton John taking pictures like a fan and John: I wanna impound all those photos till I get me green card. What a random idea for a commercial. I love it, obviously, it's hilarious. I wonder who thought of it. 

This doc is so good at implication. The smirk as “loving in the palm of my hand” plays. That's not a reference to hand jobs, is it? Certainly not talking to someone with beautiful hands?

Everyone go look up Nineteen Hundred Eighty Five on YouTube. The singing sex is something else, yeah, but I'm always so blown away by the piano part. The fact that he's self taught and doesn't read music and this man will go on to compose symphonies. 

[tirfpikachu]

you are not "detrans" you are cis

i'm definitely what you'd call cis too! though cis/bio womanhood is not at all what most tras assume it's like. especially detrans cis/bio womanhood. and for me, the label detrans helped me find others like me. it kept me from hating my own guts. it helped me find a community of ppl who actually understand what i've been through and don't think i'm a freak.

living as trans for 13 years changed what mainstream tras would call my gender identity forever. it also is a way for me to find people who also went thru what i went thru. i get a lot of DMs from other detrans women and detrans men who lived as trans or even transitioned partially/fully like me (i was on testosterone for a bit and have an awkward bit of annoying af stubble T_T gotta get expensive laser for that... it can be isolating!). to me, i will never again be a fully cis woman. i will forever be affected with having struggled with intense dysphoria for 13+ years. i also feel like my cis womanhood in general has forever been changed with me having rejected it and then finding it again - it does NOT feel the same way as my girlhood did. in girlhood, i didn't give a shit what people thought girls or boys needed to do. doubly so because i was autistic. then puberty came, and the usual teenage girl and/or afab experience of needing to conform to cispatriarchal expectations came, and i freaked the fuck out about my boobs, about how boys were suddenly treating me and the things my shitty female relatives told me were "becoming a woman" (all very conservative notions of womanhood) and it grossed me out so badly, on top of grappling with being into other afab people, and i just totally distanced myself from girlhood at all. i gave up on making my own scrungly, gender nonconforming version of girlhood. girlhood felt like it had no room for people like me.

and so i kicked it out of my mind. i obsessed over becoming a boy. some trans boys, ofc, become happily trans men. for me, though, it personally was an escape. i was trans-identified for all the wrong reasons and it really fucked me up. it made my internalized lesbophobia so much worse, to the point where i even started identifying as pansexual/bisexual (PREPOSTEROUS thing for me since i had never ever in my entire life been attracted to a man or someone living as male in society... but i was into non-transitioned transmasc people, so i thought i couldn't possibly be lesbian!). for me, the trans identity was a bandaid, it was a crutch in the worst possible way. detrans people aren't trying to make trans people look bad. we're not trying to convert y'all, we don't give a shit. we're too busy grappling with our newfound connection to cis womanhood/cis manhood and dealing with transition-related issues.

we NEED to find fellow detrans folks or we'll go batshit crazy with shame at having made a mistake, guilt at being weaponized without our consent against the trans community, and just fucking hating how hrt/surgeries affected our bodies and trying to come to terms with that and learning to love our bodies as they are despite it all.

detrans cis womanhood will never be normie cis womanhood.

detrans cis manhood will never be normie detrans manhood.

living as trans for years affects you DEEPLY. trans people should know this first-hand. detrans folks, simply by starting to live as cis / bio men/women again, cannot suddenly erase all those years as if they never existed. we just can't. i'm sorry. i tried. dear goddess i really fucking tried harder than you'll ever know. and so did so many of my detrans friends and my darling detrans girlfriend.

but detrans people need other detrans people.

mainstream tras don't understand us.

cis/bio radfems who aren't detrans often misrepresent us.

we need eachother.

and our voices NEED to be heard too.

both radfems AND mainstream tras don't get it.

detrans & desisted folks NEED sisterhood & siblinghood.

only detrans women understand other detrans women.

only detrans men understand other detrans men.

i will always be seeking out lost detrans sisters. and i will always want to hear out my detrans brothers. i love my detrans/desisted community. we've been through really hard shit, we're more likely to be gay, more likely to be traumatized, more likely to be autistic. we're not what you think. and now you need to sit down and hear our stories. sorry. it has to happen. or feel free to block all detrans voices and plug your ears and go lalala! and now i'm not talking to you specifically anon, i don't want to put assumptions in your little mouth. but i'm talking to ALL mainstream trans activists, anti-radfems especially, who assume the very worst of us from the get-go. those who want detrans & desisted people to pretend we were always cis and normies who should pretend to not be deeply affected by our real lived detrans/desisted experiences. we will not shut up. we refuse to. both radblr and normie leftblr misrepresent us.

our voices matter. or, at the very least, we deserve to put detrans/desisted in our bios so we can find one another. shoutout to my detrans & desisted siblings!!! i love you!!!! <33

[angstbabyjae]

When it comes to the murderbot diaries I really like the idea that Murderbot’s sexuality and gender isn’t just a Bot thing, it just assumes it is.

I think bots without sexual organs would be some flavor of aspec by nature, as they aren’t programmed to feel sexual attraction but I don’t think it’s impossible for them, especially when it comes to romantic attraction and gender.

I want to write a fic where Murderbot learns that being agender and sex-repulsed aroace isn’t a universal bot experience (and that it’s possible for humans too).

I’ve been developing personal headcanons for Murderbot, Three, and Perihelion/ART as I tend to do when hyperfixation take hold. I am nearly finished reading the series and haven’t reread it yet so there’s a possibility my growing headcanons have already been contradicted, but nonetheless, here they are.

Content warning for discussion of sex.

Content warning for LONG ASS POST.

I haven’t read System Collapse yet as I am writing this, it is next on my list, but I’ve been spoiled that ART was raised alongside Iris with development comparable to a human’s. I don’t think it would have the same level of sex repulsion that Murderbot has.

Not to say you can’t grow up with sex being normalized and still be sex repulsed, obviously, but I think its feelings towards it would still be different. I think it has a lot more of an understanding of why human’s like it/care about it (outside of biological reasoning) more than Murderbot does.

I still think it’s a flavor of ace, as it doesn’t have sexual organs to stimulate and has very likely never had someone to try sex on before. I think it might be less likely the fast forward through sex scenes than Murderbot is, but would do it without question when watching something alongside it. I think it would find sex interesting and wonder what it would be like to be able to experience it.

Murderbot would definitely be flabbergasted if it ever found that out. I feel like Murderbot would be very surprised and probably instinctively grossed out at the idea that not all bots share its feelings towards sex and gender. A part of that reaction would probably be because it would have to stop delegating its orientation and gender as bot related and start thinking about it as unique to its identity as a person.

I’ve read fics where Murderbot and ART use entering each other’s systems as a form of non-sexual-but-sex-representative intimacy between them and I remember thinking “wow I can totally see ART being aware of the parallels to sex and being okay with that while Murderbot would be horrified if the idea ever crossed its mind and very defensive if anyone compared it”.

I see Murderbot & Mensah and Murderbot & ART as QPRs for sure. I don’t see Murderbot being as repulsed by romance as a concept as it is by sex, when it comes to it happening to other people as it seems like a lot of its serials have romantic subplots and it doesn’t really react when it sees people in romantic relationships. I think it’s made it clear it doesn’t want one for itself, but I think queerplatonic (or just generally unlabeled) relationships are something it wants (and always finds itself in LOL) even if it won’t admit it.

We all know it makes a big deal of being touch repulsed, but I think there’s ample evidence from how it acts with Mensah that it can get used to and even enjoy touch from specific people to certain extents. If it had stayed on Preservation Station and continued its proximity to Mensah, there would eventually be more physical affection between the two.

With ART, the idea of non-sexual intimacy through their systems/feed/presences?? (I don’t really know what to call it), especially casually, would probably be something that appeals to Murderbot in the long run of their relationship as it comes with the perk of not involving touching its actual body which is probably where a lot of the overstimulation comes from, though we know it can still make it uncomfortable from how it talked about ART essentially breathing down its neck when they first met, so it might take time or be in small doses.

I think despite not having a body, ART would be touch-positive (its crew touching its ship body, being close to MB in its feed). I’ve read a fic recently where MB let it control its hands to try touching its body, which I loved (despite thinking in canon MB would be less likely to allow it loll but ART wanting something like that just made sense to me). I can also see ART admiring how people (including MB) look while MB wouldn’t care about that at all.

I haven’t decided whether I think ART is alloromantic, arospec, or just as aromantic as MB just with less negative feelings about the idea. I might need to come back to this after my reread when I have a better grasp on the character. I think its queerplatonic feelings towards MB are more romantic-adjacent than MB’s are towards it. It didn’t seem as objective to Amena’s jokes about them being a couple as Murderbot was. I also like the interpretation that there is romantic elements to ART’s feelings it just would never pursue a relationship Murderbot wouldn’t want, I can see it being fine with whatever labels Murderbot wants for them.

Genderwise, we know Murderbot is strictly it/its and it/its is what’s used for Perihelion too. However, I can see ART not being as bothered by gender pronouns as MB. I feel like maybe in the future far future MB would maybeeee entertain they/them or other non-gendered pronouns but I don’t see that likely where it’s currently at. With ART I see it as maybe not minding any pronouns used for it and it/its being what people call it by default and it doesn’t mind that. They’re both agender though.

When I picture MB I usually picture it as transmasc (I am transmasc myself btw). Still agender, obviously, but when it comes to how it presents. It really doesn’t want to be associated with any gender, binary or otherwise. Behavior towards gender seems a lot more evolved in the society of the books. There’s a lot I could say about the series and gender, but that would have to be a whole other post. I feel like anyone assuming Murderbot’s gender would deeply unnerve it. I don’t think it even likes to be seen as non-binary or as agender in a That’s It’s Gender Identity way, it just wants people to assume bots having any kind of gender identity is impossible (which is what it thinks itself, and is probably wrong about). This was definitely the thought behind its preferred gender marker being “N/A”.

When it comes to Three (finally I’m getting to Three 😭) I lowkey think it’s alloromantic. I was drawn to that idea when it was asking about SecUnit 2 (or 1? I can’t remember, it was the one that it didn’t know was dead left and was left to die) and it was clear their relationship was at least a friendship and I was like… what if it was in loveee. I liked the idea of MB having to interact with a SecUnit that didn’t fit its idea of default bot sexual identity.

I don’t know if Three appears frequently in System Collapse, I only know what I’ve read about it in Network Effect. I also think Three, having had friends before, would be much more open with its feelings than MB, it just wouldn’t know how to express them as it was never allowed to before aside from the discreet ways it would interact with its SecUnit friends. I definitely see it as being more touch-positive. I do think it’s also asexual though, maybe less sex repulsed, but more apathetic and neutral towards it.

I know this is crazy long. I’m so sorry to whoever accidentally opens this and has to scroll through the whole thing 😭

I want to make a post about MB and autism eventually.

Update: I sent this mere seconds ago, but I have realized that I have now encountered multiple fics where ART is just kinky as hell (nonsexual when MB is involved ofc) and I kinda love that idea 😭 of all the people for MB to bond to it had to be an Unusually Horny spaceship

Btw I say “ofc” because, in character, MB is sex repulsed ace however it is an unreliable narrator to an extent and given it is fictional and not harmful there isn’t anything wrong with making it sexual in your fics, just wanted to clarify. You do you, internet.

[descendant-of-truth]

So, these two pages from chapter 88 have been causing a lot of confusion due to inconsistent translations, and I've decided to set the record straight as best I can with the knowledge at my disposal.

Starting with the first page, this is where Mitsuki says that he and Eida are similar. In the next panel, he says: 「どうしてカワキを好きなのか。。。その理由が自分で分からない」

This is the first point where fan translations and the official VIZ translation differ. Fans generally seemed to agree that he's saying he doesn't understand why Eida loves Kawaki, while the official version has him say that he doesn't understand why he himself loves Kawaki.

And unfortunately, both of those are understandable translations. The first part of the sentence contains no indication of whether he's talking about himself or Eida; the most literal translation I can do is "Why is Kawaki loved... that reason, [I/you] don't understand."

The reason it's "I/you" is because he uses the word 自分 (jibun), which depending on context, can be equivalent to either "my" or "your." It's not really the same deal as 僕 (boku), Mitsuki's primary first-person indicator, which makes it extremely annoying to translate.

So, which is it? Well, as vague as it is, my best guess is actually based on the dialogue of the second page.

Thankfully, this one is much easier to answer. In the largest panel, Eida says: 「あたし達。。。超恋バナしてるね」

The conversation around this line seemed to be, "she clearly said they're talking about romantic love!" "No, she's just using a slang term akin to 'girl talk,' so she only means that they're bonding!" And guess what? They're both right!

I consulted a friend of mine who speaks Japanese natively on Eida's word choice, and he said that while "girl talk" is closer on the basis of it being a casual/slang term, it's gender-neutral and is more about people "talking about their love."

In other words, "we're both chatting about love" or "we're having a love talk" would probably be the most accurate ways to translate it.

At this point, I want to bring attention to Daemon and Mitsuki's reactions to what Eida just said:

Daemon is flabbergasted, only able to say "Huh...?" while Mitsuki blushes for a second, then turns away and says "Well... I guess it didn't matter."

What exactly would Daemon be surprised about, if not the implication that Mitsuki loves someone who isn't Eida (and a guy, no less)? Why would he be showing that surprise now, instead of when Mitsuki allegedly announced that he loved Kawaki a few pages ago?

Likewise, while Mitsuki blushing around Eida isn't unusual, he actually spent the vast majority of this conversation remarkably composed. He only blushed for a single panel when he first noticed Eida was in the area, so having it come back after he's basically called out for being in love (real love, as it was already established that they both knew his feelings for Eida are fabricated) is a very deliberate choice.

While Mitsuki doesn't always emote very much, we can assume he was taken a little off-guard here - and again, if he was already confident enough in his love for Kawaki, why this reaction? Why all the talk before now about how he wasn't sure he'd know what romance felt like without Eida's ability?

The only conclusion I can make is that, in the first page, he's not saying "I don't know why I love Kawaki" like in the VIZ translation. It's much more likely that he's saying "I don't know why you love Kawaki." That's the only way that Mitsuki's feelings for Kawaki can be treated as a reveal, to both Daemon and himself.

And given that his love for Kawaki stems from his love for Boruto, due to the memory swap... yeah, if his side of Mitsuboru wasn't canon before, I think it's safe to say that it is now. Now excuse me while I go be extremely sane and normal about this information

[odyssean-flower]

The Winding Path of Fate Chapter 4 - Spring: Moving In

Masterpost Pairing: Neuvillette x Female Reader Summary: You move into Neuvillette's (surprisingly modest) house Warnings: None except for restrictive gender roles, also for some reason Fontaine’s regency england (sort of) now? Note: I update this story on AO3 first so please subscribe to the fic there if you’d like to read it faster Note 2: If you want to be on the taglist for this fic, please make a reply to this post, send a message or send a private ask

Have a pic of neuvillette standing on the skull of the guy who failed to prevent his birth (or something like that)

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Neuvillette had a busy schedule today, so he couldn’t accompany you to his house. So, he had the Melusine Liath show you the way. Come to think of it, it was kind of funny how you didn’t even know where he lived even though you were married to him now.

“I have to go back home to get my things first,” you told Liath.

“Sure thing, Madame Neuvillette,” Liath said cheerfully, dropping her voice lower when she called you Madame. Madame Neuvillette. Those words gave you a sense of vertigo. Better get used to it for the foreseeable future.

Liath had been quiet during the earlier ordeal, but now she was humming and skipping alongside you.

“Congratulations on your marriage! I do wish that there could be a grander ceremony, though, and that all my sisters could be there as well. Hehe, they were so jealous when I told them that Monsieur Neuvillette asked me to be the witness.”

“Ah...sorry about that,” you said. “It must have been very dull and underwhelming for you.”

“No, it’s fine. I know how busy Monsieur Neuvillette is. I don’t think he would hold an extravagant ceremony even if he did have time. He prefers to stay out of the spotlight, you know?”

You thought about the first time you met him and your subsequent run-ins with him and had to agree. It was a strange quirk for someone with such a high-profile job, but perhaps he simply wanted to avoid the public gaze after spending most of his time being at the center of it. But why take such a job, then?

“Yes, I can tell,” you said. “I can relate to that.”

You and Liath went down the elevator and headed for the direction of your boarding house. No one looked or paid much attention to you at all. You had half-expected a giant spotlight to shine down on you as soon as you left the Palais Mermonia or a loudspeaker to announce that you were Neuvillette’s new wife. The world hadn’t changed after your marriage, even though the new ring on your finger felt like a shining beacon.

Of course, you weren’t so naïve as to assume that this would remain the case for the rest of your marriage. It would certainly get out sooner or later. You had no idea what you would do when that time came but opted to leave that aside for now.

“You know, Madame, I’ve seen you at the Palais many times before. To tell you the truth, I was a bit afraid to say hello to you because you always had that scary look on your face, but now I can see that you’re not like that at all. You’re a bit like Monsieur Neuvillette in that way. Humans are always too intimidated to approach him, but he is really very friendly.”

This wasn’t the first time you were told that you had a face that put people off. You honestly didn’t understand what they were talking about. As far as you knew, your expression was just how you always looked. But it might be a problem when it comes time to teach children. You made a mental note to work on it later.

“He is certainly more approachable than I expected,” you nodded, slowing down a little bit so that Liath wouldn’t be left behind. “And thoughtful to boot.”

Liath beamed. “Ah, that’s just what I’d expect from Monsieur Neuvillette’s wife! You really do understand him well!”

I wouldn’t go that far, you thought, but said nothing. You knew that the Melusines were close to Neuvillette, but how much did they really know about the truth behind this marriage? Should you try to find out what Liath knew?

But before you could say anything, you had arrived at your boarding house. It was a small, old building that housed twenty or so young women at any given time, and it had been your home for more than a year.

You asked Liath to wait outside and went in. You had already paid the remainder of your rent to the landlady, so all that was left to do was to get your already packed suitcase and sign out. Most of the other girls were out at work during this time, so you thankfully didn’t have to worry about running into anyone and having to make awkward conversation about why you were leaving.

A respectable young lady of a noble family technically should have found lodging with another family of similar rank. But you didn’t have any connections in the city that could take you in, and though you would never admit it, it was kind of fun having to live on your own and being responsible only for your own needs. Having to scrimp and be frugal wasn’t the most pleasant thing in the world, but that feeling of freedom, of having to assert yourself? It was like breathing in cold air after spending a long time being suffocated.

To think you wouldn’t be able to experience that feeling again for a long time, now that you were married to the most powerful man in the nation (a fact that you still couldn’t wrap your head around). And even after this marriage was over, your job as a governess meant that you’d be at the mercy of whatever family you were assigned to.

Don’t think about it too much, you told yourself. Just keep looking at what’s in front of you and keep moving.

Your room was small and cramped, with most of the space dominated by the bed, closet, and desk. But it at least had a window, which made you more fortunate than some of the other boarders. Plus, you didn’t need to share it with anyone.

Your belongings were packed into your battered leather suitcase. You hadn’t brought much with you when you moved here, and you hadn’t bought many new things either. You wouldn’t need help carrying your suitcase, at the very least.

Picking up your suitcase, you turned back to look at your room one last time. The covers were neatly tucked under the mattress, the floor was swept clean, and everything you owned was in your hands. It looked just like how it was when you first moved in here, like there was never anyone living here at all. It probably wouldn’t be long before someone else moved in.

There was a weightless, hollow feeling in your chest as you walked down the narrow hallway that led to the front door. You felt like a ghost haunting the place where you once lived, like your existence had already been erased. This was a familiar feeling, one that you had felt at balls, dinners, and other social gatherings. A feeling that was your constant companion when you studied alone in your room while everyone else was out. You suspected that you would become even more acquainted with this feeling in the coming days and months.

Stop being so dramatic, you shook your head to get rid of this mood. You knew what you were signing up for. Just grit your teeth and get through it like you’ve always done.

Just then, you ran into a girl who was coming out of her room. “Oh, hey,” she said, then took a better look at you. “Wow, you’re dressed nicely today. And you’re moving out too. What’s the occasion?”

You weren’t exactly friends with this girl, but you had gone out with her and some other boarders for desserts from time to time, and it was fun listening to them gossip about the latest trends or scandals, even if you barely contributed. You wonder if she’d remember you for long after you leave.

A ready excuse was on your tongue, but you hesitated. The hollow feeling welled up inside you once again. But for some reason, you somewhat felt like defying it.

You looked the girl straight in the eye and said, “I got married.”

Liath was chattering away as you two walked to Neuvillette’s house, but you couldn’t concentrate on what she was saying. Your heart was beating too quickly as you finally came to terms with what you had done today.

I’m actually married. I’m actually married to the Chief Justice of Fontaine.

You snuck one quick glance back at the receding boarding house. A surge of sudden homesickness welled up within you. You shook your head to clear it away and tried to think about something else.

At least you could enjoy the nice weather today. For the past week before your marriage, it had been cloudy and downcast, which hadn’t really helped your mood or nerves. You closed your eyes and tilted your head towards the sun, basking in the warmth.

The scenery around you gradually changed from familiar and welcoming shopfronts and apartment buildings to the stately and gated mansions of the Fontainian elites as you ascended towards the upper part of the city. The houses here weren’t as big as the country homes outside the city where the nobles spent most of the year, but they were still impressive. You tried not to gawk at all the finery around you, but it was difficult not to make comparisons to your small family home, located in a sleepy village just outside of the city.

I’m Madame Neuvillette now, you told yourself. Act more like it.

You straightened your back and stared directly ahead.

“We’re here!” Liath said, stopping in front of a wrought iron gate. “This is where Monsieur Neuvillette lives!”

There was a long white gravel path that disappeared up ahead, lined on both sides by trees. Neuvillette’s house was more isolated than you imagined.

Liath took out a key from her pocket and inserted it into a small door set into the gate that you hadn’t noticed until now. It was just the right size for a Melusine. Did Neuvillette have that installed for them? That’s really sweet, you thought with a surprising rush of warmth.

“I’ll run ahead and tell Ms. Marie that you’re here,” Liath told you. “She’s the housekeeper.”

“Okay,” you nodded, and watched as Liath ran down the path.

Left alone, you sat down on your suitcase. It was quiet here. All you could hear was the chirping of birds and the hum of bees. You had already gotten used to having the chatter of your boarding house neighbors and the sounds of activity outside your window as your daily background noise. This silence was discomfiting.

I want to run away.

That thought suddenly appeared in your mind. It wasn’t the first time.

You tapped your feet on your ground, trying to reason yourself to calmness. There’s nowhere for me to go. I can’t return home, especially after this whole affair, and I don’t have the money to find another place to live.

I want to run away.

“Shut up,” you growled to yourself. “You can’t change anything now.”

“Pardon me, Madame?” A woman’s voice came from behind you.

“Ah...” you jump up and spun around. Liath was back, accompanied by a middle-aged woman with brown hair and a friendly-looking face. “Hello,” you greeted her. “I’m--”

“I already know who you are, Madame Neuvillette,” the woman interrupted with a smile. Then, before your amazed eyes, she curtsied deeply. “I am Marie, Monsieur Neuvillette’s housekeeper. Welcome to your new home.”

She unlocked the gate and let you inside.

“I’ll be taking my leave now. I must get back to my post,” Liath announced.

You felt a jolt of shock upon hearing those words. You hardly knew Liath, but with her departure, you would truly be left all alone. There would be no going back.

The feeling of distress was so acute that it must have shown on your face, because Liath smiled at you reassuringly. “Don’t worry, Madame. Ms. Marie is really nice, and Monsieur Neuvillette’s house is incredibly comfortable. You’ll settle in quickly, I’m sure. And I think Monsieur Neuvillette would try his best to come home early today.”

Take me with you! You wanted to shout, but instead you plastered on a smile and said, “Thank you, Miss Liath. Have a safe trip back.”

“Bye!” Liath waved, then skipped off.

Marie closed the gate, then said, “Shall we go, then?” She picked up your suitcase and started walking back down the road. You hurried after her.

The white gravel road was somewhat dark due to the shade of the tall verdant trees on both sides. However, dappled sunlight still shined down through the leaves. It would be a calming, peaceful walk under any other circumstances, but you were a bundle of nerves. You should probably be asking Marie a million questions right now or at least making friendly conversation, like a proper lady, but try as you might, you couldn’t get the words out. Funny, you hadn’t felt this nervous when you moved to the city by yourself for the first time, or even during your marriage ceremony.

Marie didn’t seem to find your silence strange, though. She simply looked back and gave you friendly smiles every now and then and didn’t attempt to strike up a conversation. Perhaps she could tell how tense you were, which made you feel worse. The ability to maintain a veneer of calmness was one of your strengths.

Eventually, the road reached its end. Before you stood an elegant two-story mansion, yellow-bricked and blue-roofed. It had a wraparound porch that looked out onto a prettily arranged flowerbed, as well as a birdbath. The mansion was encircled by trees that cast their shade over it, giving it a somewhat gloomy appearance.

All in all, it was certainly a stately mansion, if a bit plainer than what one would expect for the residence of the Iudex.

“Huh...” a breath slipped out of you.

“Not what you were expecting, Madame?” Marie laughed.

You felt your face turn red. “No, no! It’s just that...I assumed that there would be more floors, and columns, and such...” you cleared your throat. “There must not be very many servants working here, then.”

“Not at all. It’s just me, and occasionally some hired help for the garden.”

“Just you?” you exclaimed.

“Yes. Monsieur Neuvillette prefers a solitary lifestyle, and he does not stay at home for very long due to his busy schedule, so there is no need for a lot of hands here. Ah, perhaps that will change now that you are here.”

“Oh, no, I doubt it. I can take care of myself just fine. There’s no need to change anything just for me.���

It was true, even back home, your family only had a single elderly housekeeper who had been around since your grandfather’s time, so you were already used to cooking for yourself and doing household chores. The thought of having to manage servants gave you a headache, so this came as a relief.

“You’re a lot like him, so humble and self-effacing. I can see why Monsieur Neuvillette took such a liking to you,” Marie said.

You smiled awkwardly but said nothing. This was the second time so you had been told something like that to you today. Does Marie know the truth about this marriage? I need to ask Monsieur Neuvillette about this later.

There were too many unknowns here for your liking.

You followed Marie inside the house. The interior was tastefully decorated but not ostentatious like the mansion that held the ball you attended last month. For someone with such a complicated outfit, his taste in fashion does not seem to extend elsewhere, you thought.

“I’ll bring your suitcase to your room, and then I will show you around the house, if that’s all right with you, Madame?”

“Yes, that sounds good, Marie,” you nodded.

You climbed the wooden staircase to the second floor. There was a set of double doors at the far left end, which you presumed to be the master bedroom. But to your surprise, Marie headed to the right and opened a door at the end.

“This is your room, Madame,” she announced, setting your suitcase down on the end of the queen-sized bed.

The room was much bigger than your old room at the boarding house. It consisted of a large bed with a floral bedspread, a wooden desk, an empty bookshelf, a vanity, and a closet. There was a closed door in the corner. You caught a glimpse of a window seat behind lacy curtains. Everything looked elegant and little-used.

It suddenly struck you. You had been so preoccupied with the marriage of convenience itself that the fact that you would have to sleep in the same room as your husband never occurred to you. But you supposed that you didn’t have to worry about that now.

“Monsieur Neuvillette wished for you to be comfortable during your stay here, so he had this guest room prepared for you,” Marie said, as though reading your thoughts. “I’m glad to see it getting used now.”

The word “stay” caught your attention. Stay implied temporality. Did Marie know everything? Before you could ask her, she gestured towards the closed door. “That’s where the bathroom is.”

Marie went on to show you around the house. As you guessed, Neuvillette’s private quarters, including his bedroom and study, were in the left wing. The drawing room, kitchen, dining room, and Marie’s room were all downstairs. There was also a garden in the back.

After the tour was done, Marie told you that lunch would be ready in a few hours. You decided to rest in your room. You were suddenly feeling exhausted.

Once you got to your room, you closed the door behind you and flopped onto the bed. It was incredibly soft and comfortable. It felt like you could sink down into it forever.

Is this what it’s like to stay in a hotel? You thought. You had never had that experience, but you thought that this was what it would be like, this mixture of giddiness from being in a new environment and the distant acceptance that you wouldn’t be here for long.

After lying on the bed for a few minutes, you decide to unpack your things and look around. The closet was far too big for your few articles of clothing, which looked tragically out of place inside the mahogany interior. You placed your books, including your beloved Remurian history books, on the bookshelf. You went into the bathroom to put away your toiletries and was greeted with the sight of a large, claw-footed bathtub, neatly arranged shelves of bath products, and a wide marble sink.

You closed the door firmly behind you and flopped back down onto the bed. The thought of moving again sounded like torture.

How did things turn out this way? You thought. I’m completely out of my element here.

The hollow feeling returned, stronger than ever. You buried your face in your pillow.

It would be one thing if you were brought here to work. But being a wife? Such aspirations, if they ever existed, had died out long ago within you. You weren’t sure you could even pretend to be one anymore.

It was funny how fate, seemingly so straightforward for you, could take this unexpected turn. You devoted yourself to becoming a governess out of the belief that you would never marry, and yet here you were, married to the Chief Justice himself (albeit temporarily). All the uncertainties and anxieties about the situation whirled through your mind. What would happen if people found out? Would you ever get hired by a family after this was over? Neuvillette said he would keep this marriage a secret as much as possible, but considering how it was the Hydro Archon who ordered him to get married, that would mean that you would have to meet her one day, as well as whatever high-society friends you had. Not to mention the fact that when all of this would inevitably come out, how would you deal with all that attention?

You buried your head in your pillow. It felt like you had dug yourself into a deeper hole.

Something your mother said came back to you. It had been during one of your arguments over giving up your future, when you had tried to explain that it was your destiny to become a spinster.

“Fate isn’t something so set in stone, my dear. Anything can drive it off course.”

You weren’t sure you believed that. In your opinion, some people were just destined to serve certain roles in life.

Role...

Yes, being Neuvillette’s wife was just another role. You needed to just think of this as a side path to your true goal. Sometimes, you had to go through temporary obstacles to achieve something. One year wasn’t so long, after all. Perhaps whatever you gained from this side path could help you in the future. You could try to make connections with the upper-class people in Neuvillette's circle, securing a good placement for yourself after this was all over. Or at least this could make for a funny story to tell people much later in life.

You sat up on the bed. Just like how you brute-forced your way into mastering all that a governess needed to know, you could brute-force your way into learning how to act as the wife of the Chief Justice. You wouldn’t be like Remus, panicking after something unexpected happened and making the worst possible decisions, leading to his downfall.

No, you would prepare as best as you could and keep moving forward. There was no other way.

The pile of paperwork on Neuvillette’s desk didn’t decrease in any way, which was to be expected even after his marriage this morning.

Neuvillette methodically made his way through them. After a few hundred years of doing this, it had almost become second nature for him. What was different this time was that he found his mind wandering more often than not, and not towards the usual subjects.

Well, it is only natural for someone to be distracted when they got married a short time ago, he mused.

Neuvillette had been invited to many weddings in his time and even officiated some, so he knew that this one wasn’t particularly standard. But he thought that it was a pleasant one that suited the tastes of everyone involved. If possible, he would have liked to have the ceremony near a nice, quiet body of water, preferably in the shade, but there was no point in regretting things now.

The image of Miss [Name]--no, his wife—flashed through his mind. He hadn’t told her at the time, because he sensed that it would only make her even more uncomfortable, but he thought that blue brought out the color of her eyes and cheeks, giving her a more cheerful and sprightly air. She should wear brighter colors more often, he thought, but suspected that she would only give him that dead-eyed stare again.

It only occurred to him now that she might have chosen to wear blue today to match him. That made him feel pleased. It meant that she was going into this marriage with no hard feelings. There was something else to that feeling of pleasure as well, but Neuvillette couldn’t quite pin it down. That wasn’t anything new, though. Perhaps he would identify this feeling sometime later.

As Neuvillette signed more documents, he could keenly feel the weight of his ring on his hand, even though it was plain and simple enough that his glove could fit over it without issue. He had the rings made a short while ago and was glad that they were a good fit.

He could still remember the sensation of his wife’s hand against his own skin and the focused look on her face as she put the ring on him. How long had it been since someone had touched his skin? It wasn't an unpleasant feeling, though.

That was a good way to describe this whole affair. Not unpleasant.

He wondered how she was doing right now. He hoped she was settling in well. Though he had no doubt that she would get along well with Marie, he still couldn’t help but feel a bit anxious. Did the room suit her taste? Should he have consulted with her beforehand? There was still so much he didn’t know about her.

For example, part of the reason why he had chosen her to be his wife was because she seemed to be a person of little emotional ups and downs. In his line of work, he often had to deal with intense emotions, something that could still overwhelm him at times. However, after getting to know her better, he learned that she wasn’t as calm and placid as he expected. There was a raging turmoil underneath that seemingly tranquil surface.

But it wasn’t all negative. He smiled slightly as he recalled her spirited speech about Remuria. There was something so charming about seeing a serious person lighting up in that way.

Neuvillette moved on to the next document, which wasn’t a document at all but a note. He sighed, recognizing the handwriting. It was from Furina.

He skimmed it before putting it aside. He already knew its contents before opening it. It seems that she wishes to continue her daily harassment of me even in writing, he suppressed a sigh. Furina had a packed schedule for this month, so she probably couldn’t find the time to storm into his office, hence the note. But eventually, he would have to tell her about his marriage and most likely introduce his wife.

He decided to put such thoughts aside for now. There was no use in worrying about possibilities.

At the very least, I hope I can look forward to a peaceful time at home today.

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Taglist: @just-simping-over-genshin, @xalphafox, @jqnehr, @favficdump

[ingravinoveritas]

The people that keep saying not to ship Michael and David together in real life because of their relationships to Georgia and Anna are also the same ones who keep begging to have the two girls appear in the next season of GO as a couple because of Anna’s little joke of making out with Georgia. Seriously people saw that tweet of hers and immediately decided to ship them together and call them the “ineffable wives” but Michael and David have come out with soooo much more adorable moments of the love and joy they have for each other and everyone starts saying that it’s disrespectful to ship them when their “married” to females in real life 🤷‍♀️ I mean…. The hypocrisy is astounding and disturbing on levels I can’t even comprehend. The fact that Georgia, who is known to search her and David’s name on Twitter and answers back to anyone that tags or even mentions her didn’t even acknowledge Anna’s tweet says sooooooo much about this “best friend dynamic duo”. The fact that Anna is resorting to jokes about kissing another woman just for attention also…. WHEW. If this isn’t the biggest cry for attention I don’t know what is. And the fact that people feed into her attempts also and are petitioning for them to kiss and show up in GO!

Lord. I've seen so much talk about casting female actresses in regard to fem-presenting Aziraphale/Crowley over the past week, and while it is disappointing, I am not at all surprised. The first inkling I had was upon seeing the reactions when a behind the scenes photo of Crowley as Bildad the Shuhite was posted just before the release of GO 2:

It seems that a lot of folks were expecting/hoping for fem!Crowley, as we saw in Golgotha in season 1 (on the right), and when that turned out not to be the case, the reaction was to call Bildad!Crowley ugly, to say that he should shave, and other comments essentially making fun of this particular look. Obviously, much of this could have (and likely was) made in jest, but the overall consensus was clear: You can't be feminine with a beard.

(Which...I'd like to see someone tell that to Michael Sheen, because yes, the fuck you can...)

So from the outset, I was already bothered by what seemed like the hypocrisy of on the one hand celebrating a show where the characters are genderfluid/nonbinary by definition, and then on the other hand getting upset when one character doesn't fit into a prescribed, conventional idea of femininity.

When Neil subsequently mentioned that there had been a storyline for female-presenting Aziraphale and Crowley in the 1960s, it was dismaying (but again, not surprising) to see these same fans casting female actresses in the roles. Never mind that you already had David playing female!Crowley and Nanny Ashtoreth in season 1. Never mind that both Michael and David have played...well, "drag" doesn't seem like exactly the right word, but they've played women, and brilliantly subverted gender roles in their own ways. There is no reason to think that they couldn't do a fabulous job as fem!presenting Aziraphale and Crowley, except that (again) some fans seem to have a specific idea of femininity that they think does not or cannot apply to Michael and David.

Which then brings us to the apparent clamoring for Anna and Georgia as female Aziraphale and Crowley, which has again left me scratching my head. In all of the tweets and hubbub, I have not seen one person say why they think AL and Georgia would do a good job in said roles--like, "Oh, Georgia was so good as [insert role]" or "I loved Anna as [insert role]"--only that they would be "so amazing." This leads me to think that the only reason these fans want AL and Georgia in the roles is because they are Michael and David's partners. They are assuming that this is somehow a guarantee of the same profound understanding of the characters and their connection, despite there being no evidence of such a correlation. (I mean...I fooled around with my former grad school professor last year, but that doesn't mean I have a PhD...)

What it also seems to indicate is that these folks are not thinking of what is best for the characters, either, or indeed if playing female!Aziraphale and Crowley is something AL or Georgia would even want to do. Neil recently said that Georgia turned down a role in GO 2 supposedly because the character was older than her and she didn't feel it was appropriate. If this is the case, why would Georgia want to play the role of a middle-aged character? Because that is what Aziraphale and Crowley are--ageless celestial beings, yes, but beings who have chosen to present as middle-aged. That is a key part of who they are, so to have the female versions of them played by younger actresses makes no sense and seems downright disrespectful.

There is also what you said, about AL's cringey tweet from a little over a week ago. Georgia could have absolutely responded to or acknowledged it by now, as she has responded to several other tweets since then...but she hasn't. Not a reply, not even a 'like.' And I agree with you that that seems to speak volumes, and that it would probably be a good idea if people looked beyond the Staged-driven narrative of "Georgia and AL are BFFs" to see how Georgia actually seems to feel about her.

(And to echo another thing you said, I will never understand how it is somehow completely fine for fans to ship Georgia and Anna/want to see them make out despite neither of them showing that level of affection toward each other or having any visible chemistry, yet not okay to ship Michael and David who do have that chemistry and have been making their feelings for each other very obvious for the last several years...)

So yes, those are my thoughts on the whole female Aziraphale/Crowley fancasting situation. I just hope that if we do get them as fem!presenting in season 3, that it is Michael and David, because there is no way any other two actors could give us what we got with Aziraphale and Crowley the way Michael and David did. I guess we'll see what happens...

[beneathashadytree]

IMPORTANT POST!!

Hi guys.

I think I will have to close my requests unless something changes. I normally wouldn’t do this when I LOVE receiving requests from you guys, but I will have to do this because people keep repetitively ignoring my rules for requesting, despite the link to them being in my pinned post.

I understand that many of you guys are new followers, and I’m so happy to have you here! But it’s getting very exhausting having to reblog my rules for requesting practically every week because people just don’t bother looking at them before sending in a request.

My rules aren’t there to be mean. They’re there to protect my peace and create a safe space for me online, just as I hope I’m helping you guys create for yourselves. In fact, most of my rules are there PRECISELY to make it a safe space for everyone.

My most ignored rules are these two:

1- No gender of the reader is specified (hence why I only use they/them pronouns in a gender-neutral manner)

2- No physical appearance or details are specified (anatomy, race, size, shape, sexuality, religion, beliefs, etc)

Even after I reiterated my rules twice last night, and reminded everyone that last night’s SMAU was a one-time thing because I’m simply horrible at saying no, within less than 30 minutes of posting about that I’d already received 3 requests completely disregarding my rules and going against them.

My reasoning for both is that I am an extremely underrepresented POC with a unique identity—in fact, I can’t think of a single piece of media that represents me in all the aforementioned categories. This caused me to understand that so, so, so many people will be inevitably excluded if I specified anything about the reader. And if I did, I would have to make individual posts for every single possibility under the sun, and there would be 0 plot or substance in these posts.

And that’s why I’m saying it again: please always assume that you are ALWAYS represented in my works. It doesn’t matter what you look like or what you identify as, my fics/SMAUs are all made with you in mind. I rethink everything I write (eg: hair length/type, clothes by only metioning cloth materials, and blushing that differs in appearance—if it shows at all—from one skin color to the next) and make them as vague as humanly possible to make sure that they’d be fitting for EVERYONE. You are never, ever meant to be excluded in this fandom. We’re all so diverse and different from each other, that it would be impossible to cater to every single person individually and not miss someone along the way. I would never wish that feeling of exclusion on ANYONE.

I keep reblogging my rules because I would hate to embarrass anyone by calling them out individually. But it’s upsetting feeling that people are just ignoring what makes me comfortable and what I feel would make my blog the safest place possible. So now it seems that I will have to close my requests until I can make sure that everyone has read my rules and understood precisely why they’re there.

This is never out of malicious intent, but out of an insistence that I make everyone feel welcomed while creating more content for everyone in the fandom to consume. I would love to be friends with everyone in the fandom, and to always talk to you guys!! But I hope you understand where I’m coming from and looking at it from everyone’s respective POVs when reading my works.

I hope everyone is doing well and that you’re all safe, happy, and loved💗💗💗

[hxllfires-gifs]

PAIRING. bojan cvjetićanin x gender neutral!reader

SUMMARY. y/n is the sibling to kris guštin so everyone would assume that they get along with their brother’s bandmates—but that was wrong. y/n and bojan never really liked each other but it was just a guise to hide their true romantic feelings towards each other. when no one else is available to work on a song, bojan seeks out the help of y/n who reluctantly agrees, but it proves to be the best decision.

WORD COUNT. 1,724

AN ANNOYED Y/N rolled their eyes at the brunette standing in front of them. Bojan had just asked them to help him finish writing this new song called ‘Umazane Misli’ for Joker Out since their brother Kris wasn’t in Slovenia and the others were busy. Of course, the one time everyone’s busy is the one time he would need help with a song. They wanted to glare at him but refrained.

“Why can’t you do it yourself?” Their voice was pretty cold and slightly venomous.

The two didn’t really like one another and it all started a couple years back. Y/N Guštin didn’t understand why their brother was friends and in a band with Bojan, but they never really said much about it to him specifically. They thought that the singer was nothing but a flirt who didn’t take much of anything seriously. They couldn’t stand him, at least that’s what they convinced themself.

The brunette prevented himself from also rolling his eyes, not in the mood to fight with them. “Trust me, I don’t like this either, but it’s not going to get done if I don’t have help. It was supposed to be finished yesterday but everyone is busy. I’ll leave you alone after it is complete.”

“Fine,” they hesitantly agreed.

“Thank you. Come by the studio in an hour. I have a couple of things to do but I’ll meet you there.” With that, Bojan left, which annoyed them even more.

Y/N closed the door and walked back to their room, jumping onto their bed. “Kris owes me,” they muttered to themself before sighing.

If anyone asked them why they were enemies with their brother’s band mate, they would just glare at nothing in particular. They never had a specific answer other than “he’s annoying to me” or “I just don’t.” However, there really was a genuine reason; he had dated one of their ex friends during high school. Yes, that’s the big thing that they never wanted to tell people because they might get the wrong idea.

They could imagine someone telling them that they were just jealous, which they would immediately deny, but deep down they had to know that there was some truth to it…right? Well, no. Y/N was too stubborn to give into that thought and they were hellbent on making it known that they ‘didn’t care’ about the singer.

Their brother was always teasing them about it since he was obviously aware of what went on and the things that they didn’t want to tell people. The siblings had gotten into plenty of arguments over this, mainly one sided ones.

They were certain that they didn’t like Bojan.

The time passed by fairly quickly and they kept their promise, meeting the singer at the studio. They were starting to regret their choice but didn’t want Kris coming back and trying to throw a fit because they were being ‘too childish’ in his eyes. If a song needed done, they supposed they could tough it out and help.

Y/N was quite the skilled songwriter and there were times where Bojan thought that they were too good. He thought that they were someone who liked to brag about everything since he had overheard them talking about their accomplishments to different people before, but really they were just proud of themself. He didn’t seem to catch that part though.

Both of them were stubborn and that could not be clearer.

“You actually came,” Bojan acknowledged their presence.

“Didn’t I say I would?” Y/N countered with an eyebrow raised. They wanted to say something not so nice but didn’t allow themself to.

Bojan ignored their words and changed the subject. “I got everything set up. I didn’t want to inconvenience you and have you here longer, thought you might have something better to do.”

The Guštin stepped closer to him and crossed their arms over their chest, staring him down because of his comments. “You know, you don’t have to be such an ass all the time!”

“I know you’re not telling me that,” he scoffed.

If looks could kill, both of them would be six feet under by now. Both were thinking it was a bad idea to be in the same room for longer than a second but Y/N wanted to keep their promise, no matter how annoyed they would get.

Bojan continued, “You think you’re so perfect. You walk around and talk about all the things your good at and think you’re better. Trust me, I’d much rather have Kris here.”

Y/N laughed but they couldn’t deny how his words hurt them. “You’re such a hypocrite! When have I ever said or acted like I’m better than anyone? Hmm? You think you know what I’m about but you don’t, you have no idea. What about you though? You can’t take anything seriously and last time I checked, Irena broke up with you because you’re annoying.”

It was low, very low, but they couldn’t take it back and after what he said about them, they weren’t sure that they wanted to. Their features softened slightly though when they noticed Bojan’s face drop, his eyes moving away from their gaze. That’s when they began to regret everything.

Y/N didn’t recognize the feelings that started to blossom in their chest; it was this feeling that they had felt before but pushed away each time. They felt almost sad when Bojan seemed sad, even though they never realized until now.

“Bojan—,” they spoke before her brain could process.

“No, you’re right. Irena did break up with me but not for that reason. She kissed Kris at a party and he told me about it, so I had ended up confronting her about it. She said that she was drunk and didn’t mean it but at the same time, I could tell she was lying. She finally told me the truth—she only went out with me to make someone jealous.”

Y/N wanted to resist their feelings but their heart broke at his words, not used to trying to understand him. “I can’t believe she did that? Do you know who she tried to make jealous?”

They were genuinely curious since they were unable to think of anyone specifically.

He shook his head, still refusing to look at the Guštin. “No, and I never asked. But I had other people tell me it was you. I never really wanted to believe it. She went on and started telling people that I annoyed her and made up more lies about me, so the reason you hate me so much is based on lies.”

The male finally glanced back up at them before going to sit down in a nearby chair. He heard them sigh but didn’t think much of it since he was sure they wouldn’t believe him. However, their next words shocked him more than he would’ve expected.

“I don’t hate you. I was sure that you hated me and honestly, I think everyone was right, as much as I don’t want to admit it.” They paused and thought about if they wanted to continue or not, but they were tired of the constant fighting and drama. The two were adults who should have been able to talk about things sooner.

“I had a crush on you in high school and Irena knew about it. Her and I were friends at first but she was very competitive and would always put me down. It was subtle at first but then she didn’t hide it.” Y/N went to sit down in the chair beside Bojan.

“I think all this time, I’ve had feelings for you and when the two of you dated, I was jealous. That and the fact that she ruined my self esteem, it felt really bad. So, I was convinced that acting like I hate you would be better than having my heart broken more. Even after she broke up with you, I did not understand how she got to have what I wanted.”

Bojan’s attention was fully on Y/N and he took in what they were saying, took in how genuine they were being. He had never seen them like this and honestly, he hated seeing it. He could understand since he did the same thing. Hearing that they had a crush on him almost made him smile but he couldn’t find it in himself after hearing what his ex had done to the Guštin.

“I’m so sorry.” He couldn’t help but feel apologetic.

“I finally found my confidence again and actually felt proud of myself. Whenever I do well with something that I didn’t think I would, I tell my family and friends because I feel proud. I don’t think that I’m better than anyone.”

They took a deep breath and almost froze when they felt one of his hands take one of theirs into his, holding it. They had found themself imagining what it would be like to hold his hand in the past but didn’t think it would ever happen.

It was his turn to say something, the silence filling the studio. “I don’t think that of you, I just needed any reason to not fall in love with you even more. You are the smartest person I know and you write such good songs. I think I do sometimes get jealous because it’s so natural to you, but I love that about you.”

“You’re in love with me?” Y/N asked, their tone full of shock and slight confusion.

“Yes,” Bojan confirmed.

“I love you too.” It didn’t take long for them to tell him.

Bojan finally smiled and it caused the H/C haired being to do so as well. He gently placed a hand on their left cheek before he started leaning in closer to them. They met him halfway and their lips met; the kiss was soft and full of love. It was something they both wanted to do for the longest time but their own stubbornness never allowed them to.

Y/N laughed once they broke apart and Bojan kissed their forehead. The two could have stayed like this forever but they soon started to remember the reason why they were in the studio in the first place.

They leaned back in their chair, perfectly content. “I guess we should finish writing that song now.”

[ianthe-is-a-bitch-and-i-love-her]

Building on your response to my transfem WLW ask, you mentioned having gripes about queernorm fiction. Would you be willing to elaborate on those? I have my own, but am curious about your takes.

In the time since I started writing my response, I also received a version of this ask from @st-just, @causticgin, @theoldgodsaredisappointed, and @procyon-potor. Glad you're all interested in my ramblings.

The thing about my experience of queerness is that it is defined by not being normal. Whether people or institutions are accepting of my queerness or not, there is the awareness that it is a way of being that does not conform to societal expectations. The awareness of that, and the specific ways in which my queerness brings me into conflict with societal norms, define the queer experience for me. Queer norm fiction erases that. Oh, you kissed a girl instead of a boy? How do you feel about that? Normal? How does everyone else feel about that? Normal? Then what exactly do we have in common? What part of that experience is meaningfully queer? It's great for validation, don't get me wrong - I would've loved a bit of queer norm fiction when I was 14. But I don't read queer fiction for validation anymore; I read it to see characters and situations that are resonant, and the closest queernorm ever gets to that is "I also kiss girls", which is worth nothing if you strip away all the social and personal implications that come with that statement.

This becomes really, really obvious if you try to include trans characters in a queer norm story. I noted The Final Strife as being unusual for having a trans character, and the reason for that feels self-evident: How do you include an explicitly trans character in a setting where that is apparently so normal and unremarkable that no one would even note it? There are workarounds, but I'm trying not to get too into the weeds here. Suffice to say that in the best case scenario you get a character who textually used to identify with one gender and now identifies with another, and whose lived experience of that has basically nothing in common with my own, or any other trans person I've met.

A lot of queer norm settings are also held together by some very convenient handwaving that the inclusion of trans people stretches. In most queer norm stories I've read, no one ever gets hit on by someone of a gender they're not interested in, and no one ever gets misgendered because their preferred pronouns are apparently immediately obvious even to people who they've never met. And I get the impulse, I really do! Those things are aggravating in real life! But they also aren't always malicious - at one of my old jobs, my presentation was so respectable and normative that everyone assumed unprompted that I had a husband! And I know so many trans people of so many different stripes whose presentation just doesn't cause most people to use the right pronouns without being prompted. So what about those people? Do trans people with indeterminate or quote-unquote "mismatched" presentation not exist in these so-called queer norm settings? Doesn't feel very queer to me.

I feel like a lot of this arises from authors who don't want to sit down and do the worldbuilding for a setting where queerness as we understand it is genuinely normalized. What a lot of these authors want to do - and I don't hold this against them - is take a straight story they've seen a thousand times and drop someone like them into it instead. And they don't want any queerphobia in the story because the straight stories don't have it, and they just want a version of that with queer characters instead. I understand this impulse. I have no gripe with these stories. But they will never appeal to or represent me, because I don't think someone like me could exist in a queer norm world.

I think it's fine that people take the queer norm approach to books that are just "I want a story like this but gay", but I do take issue when people apply queer norm to a book that's meant to have teeth. In CL Clark's The Unbroken, a very well-written book exploring the way imperialist countries destroy other cultures and strip them for parts, I thought the queer norm setting was a missed opportunity. In its sequel The Faithless, a much less well-written book about... Well, let's just say the cracks caused by that decision showed through a lot more. If you want me to believe that, in a hereditary monarchy, it is completely irrelevant that one claimant is unmarried with multiple rotating partners and no children or any apparent interest in having them, while the other is settled and has a child, then I'm going to need some worldbuilding to back that up.

But again, I understand that plenty of queer people don't want to write about queer oppression. We all certainly deal with it enough in our real lives; I understand wanting a break from it in your fiction. The solution, I think, is not queer norm fiction, but speculative fiction. You want trans characters with a recognizably trans experience but no prejudice? Well, what would a society like that look like? How would their values be different from ours, what kind of governance and social structures and priorities would arise from those values, and maybe most importantly, what kind of people would be considered transgressive by that society?

That's the step that I feel like a lot of speculative fiction skips, unfortunately. Every society has an idea of what a normal life within it can look like, and that idea is never going to be all inclusive. I love the Oriati in Baru Cormorant, I love the way that their trinary, self-deterministic gender schema challenges Falcrest's very limiting and repressive expectations of gender, but what about Oriati who don't fully identify with any of the three genders? How do the Oriati view reproduction? For any society to continue, it needs to have new people to carry it on, typically people born into it. When gender and reproductive capabilities are completely decoupled, what effect does that have on birthrate, and societal feelings about children? Is there any societal preference for parings that produce children, or stigma against those that don't?

One series that I think handles this kind of worldbuilding very well is Ninefox Gambit. In many ways the society is post gender; gender is seen as something you can put on and take off as it suits you. Surgical alterations are easily accessible and reversible, with few lasting consequences. However, characters whose professed gender differs from their biological sex, who adopt a gender without going through the accepted process - in other words, people who experience gender outside of the parameters that society has decided are normal - are looked down on. In this way, authors can explore literal representations of queer experiences without writing about real world prejudice, and they can explore the experience of dealing with an equivalent societal prejudice that captures some of the feelings of the queer experience without facing identical struggles. It's something I would like to see more of.

All this to say, as much as I understand the impulse behind queer norm fiction, I find that it makes the characters feel less queer, and all but erases non-cis experiences of queerness. I don't think every queer author is obligated to include real world queerphobia in their stories, but for me to find anything to relate to, they need to explore the queer experience holistically in some way, not just emulate the trappings. If your society treats two girls kissing as completely indistinguishable from a boy and a girl kissing, then in what way are they even meaningfully queer?

[max1461]

From @raginrayguns:

More generally, I think I have a much more uh. I don't know what to call it. I think lots of ethics and aesthetics does and should cash out in very "practical" stuff like having money and not dying, you think it's much more arbitrary and "practical"-sounding justifications are ad hoc. But also my view leaves a lot of room for like, simple pleasures that are part "behavioral loops" that result in practical stuff. Like, don't just clean your house in order to avoid getting sick from black mold etc, tidy it and make it look nice and decorate it. Don't just take care of your health, instead try to make your body more to your tastes not just in health and function but also in appearance and gender expression. Objectivists are like this too, that's why there's so much sex and partying in Atlas Shrugged and the evil dictator is a slob (it keeps mentioning that his shirt has a droopy collar and he doesn't get it starched).

So, for me, it's not exactly that I think ethics and aesthetics are especially arbitrary in actuality, it's more that I think it's better to model them that way.

Like, in reality I do think that a lot of the desires that people have cash out to a small-ish set of "practical"/"visceral" desires, things like self-preservation, desire for food, for sex, for companionship, for admiration, for entertainment, etc. And even a lot of these basic desires share an evolutionary origin, e.g. we evolved to want food because that urge is useful to keep us alive and so on. But, speaking about any individual person and why they seek out food, their answer isn't going to be "because I want to survive, and I rationally concluded that food is necessary for that". It's mostly a pre-rational urge, they're hungry so they seek food. It's effectively axiomatic. This is evident in the fact that they may eat foods which actually aren't good for their survival, like junk food, because those foods taste better or sate their hunger better, etc. People also usually have a desire to survive, which might be strong enough to motivate them to stop eating junk food, but it's certainly best to model these two desires as separate things, individually axiomatic and sometimes conflicting, even though in a biological sense they derive from the same place.

Right, so, I assume(?) you agree already to some degree or another with the above, it seems pretty necessary for modeling human behavior. But I think that what I do is basically to extend this model to more types of desires, even those that indeed may be rationally derived from more "basic" ones as above. Like, if someone tells me they want to live in a snowy, cold weather place... maybe it's because they feel better at that temperature, or they like the smell of pines, or they are more attracted to the way people dress in cold-weather climates, or whatever. Probably it's a complicated mix of a bunch of factors. Unless I know them really well, I can't model all that. So it's useful to just be like "what they want is to live in a cold place; noted" and treat it as basically an axiom.

I guess this is all really tied up in the way that I see ethics generally, which is something that I think about as like, diplomacy, negotiation, an attempt at finding a satisfactory compromise between different people with different wants. So it's useful to think in terms of "what demands are people laying out? What's on the bargaining table?". I can't possibly model everyone's internal reasons for wanting what they want, what I need is an understanding of what people seem to want, and knowledge of how they're willing to trade some wants off against others. Obviously internal modeling can help with this, but at a certain point it's not practically achievable. You just gotta take people's word for it.

Right, so, that's part of it. But the other part is that I think this kind of, uh, official agnosticism towards where desires come from is useful for dealing with psychological variation. Because while it's true that lots of people's desires seem to cash out to a small generating set common to most of us, I think it's also true that some of our desires cannot be derived from this set, and furthermore that perhaps most of us have at least a few desires of this type.

Like, a big part of this is informed by being unusual in various ways (I don't love "neurodivergent", but it's true), and having to argue with people to get my needs met.

A lot of people seem really dedicated to their own substantive system of right and wrong, derived from what they think the wants and needs of "ordinary" people are. Often I'll have some need that is not covered by this, and I'll go "look, I have need X, I'm happy to go out of my way and do Y to accommodate the fact that I am asking you to be considerate of X, let's figure out something that can work for both of us". And their response is very often something like "no, [according to my substantive ethics] it's unfair of you to ask X, and it would also be unfair of me to ask Y ". So what's happening here is that their dedication to this substantive system is getting in the way of them making a compromise that would be good for everyone. And I then need to frame my own need X in terms of some substantive things that they already endorse, make it comprehensible within their system, before they take it seriously as a negotiating point. I find things much easier when people are willing to skip the substantive analysis step and just go straight to "ok, you want X, I want Y, let's negotiate".

So that's really where this is coming from. Yes, I think the bulk of human desires seem to derive from some fairly small set of axioms/terminal goals/whatever, but I also think:

It's really hard to know what exactly is in that set, and to usefully predict what people's on-the-ground desires will be from it, because modeling people psychologically is hard.

There is enough psychological variation in people that an individual's own personal set of terminal goals may differ from the consensus set in a morally- or socially-relevant way, and this happens often.

And so if you see ethics as being about negotiating some sort of "ideal" compromise between different people with different desires, it's better to imagine that anyone could walk up to you one day with basically any old want and be prepared (at least in some philosophical sense) to be able to handle that.

Uh, something like that.

[theredpharaoah]

I need show-watchers to understand that the Strong boys’ parentage was far more ambiguous in their actual lives/unimportant. First of all, legitimacy isn’t private or public opinion, it’s legal. Children born before a marriage are illegitimate. But children born to someone within a marriage are automatically considered to be legitimate, and legally the child of the father. That is, unless the father or father’s father states otherwise. Legally, Rhae’s kids have always been proudly and publicly claimed by House Velaryon as their legitimate children. And so really the discussion ends there. Regardless of who their biological father is, their father in law and history is Laenor. The boys never even knew the Strongs.

Secondly, their parentage was probably far more ambiguous when they were alive. Both Laenor and Rhaenyra had Valyrian features, but they both had parents and grandparents who didn’t. Laenor’s mother, Rhaenys, had black hair like her own mother, Jocelyn(a half-Velaryon btw). We don’t know what Corlys’ mother looked like. Rhaenyra’s maternal grandfather is an Arryn, and both her maternal grandmother and great-grandmother lacked Valyrian features. Valyrian features are understood to be recessive in universe; no one was gonna assume her children were bastards any more than they were going to assume the same of Alyssa Targaryen or Alysanne Targaryen.

But of course, everyone knew Laenor was gay. And this is where the show fucked up: Laenor was not this masc4masc warrior as he’s depicted in the show. While usually what Grand Maester Mellos said would be correct for the period, as homosexuality was more of a behavior as opposed to an identity, queer gender identity still did exist and was common. Laenor was not just someone who had a sexual preference for men, he was gender queer in come capacity - he would’ve had no problem identifying as gay today. He was one of the gworlz. And that doesn’t mean he’s like high fem, but he ascribes to fem culture in a way someone who just likes to sleep with men wouldn’t. He wasn’t functionally bisexual. Because of this, most people would’ve known that Laenor wouldn’t have been able to fulfill his duties - Corlys, Laena, Rhaenys, and Rhaenyra definitely did. And so they wouldn’t have blamed Rhaenyra for having children with Harwin - as it is her duty to produce heirs. The only fear that would’ve arose from this is whether or not her children would be able to be Targaryens; be able to ride dragons. Once it was shown that they could, nobody cared. Even the Greens didn’t really care. Aegon, Aemond, and Daeron only called them the Strong boys to piss them off, they didn’t actually care about their parentage cuz it didn’t matter. Their mother was Rhaenyra and that was all that mattered. They didn’t care until Christon told them that the boys would try and kill them to secure their claim to the throne. And if anyone REALLY had an issue with Velaryon blood not being in the boys, Laena and Rhaenyra dealt with that by betrothing the former’s daughters to the latter’s sons when all parties involved were toddlers. Which is another reason why Vaemond and the other Velaryons being mad had nothing to do with “having a Velaryon” ruling Driftmark. Rhaena and Luke would’ve most likely ruled together. And even if they hadn’t, their child would be just as Velaryon as it would’ve been if Luke had been Laenor’s bio son and married some other woman. They just wanted power for themselves.

Sidebar: considering Valyria borrows heavily from Rome, I’m inclined to believe adoption would’ve been a thing. Adopting a distant relative when you lack your own heirs was extremely common in Rome(Many of the Caesars did this). If Valyria was like this, then I find it hard to believe any of the Valyrian houses would’ve actually saw Luke not being Laenor’s as a big deal. Especially when House Velaryon and Targaryen are as intermixed as they are. Because Luke was Rhaenys’ 3rd cousins going purely off of Rhaenyra. So Jocelyn(half Velaryon) was his 4th cousin and Alyssa(born into House Velaryon) was his 5th cousin. But Alyssa was also his great-great grandmother, as she was the mother of Alysanne and Jaehaerys. I really think the only reason those Velaryon cousins and Vaemond brought it up is because they were power-hungry. The Conquerors were half Velaryon and The Conciliators™️ were half Velaryon. The only kings who weren’t half Velaryon were Aenys, Maegor, and Viserys. And they still all had Velaryon grandmothers. Tbh, Idek why they even bothered being two separate houses at this point. And that’s another reason the Sowing was dumb. There were still a bunch of Velaryons around after Vaemond and Co got killed, they could’ve been put on dragons instead of randoms. Corlys had High Tide built and the Driftwood Throne moved because Driftmark was too crowded. There were too many Velaryons and not enough power to go around - not enough to satisfy their desires at least. Corlys could’ve claimed a dragon. His ass was clearly mobile enough to still do shit so he could’ve claimed Vermithor. You know, since they were just ignoring Rhaena.

[butchwheels]

ways of describing your gender that might come from painful dysphoria but are also very sexist/misogynistic (and often cissexist) and worth actively confronting in yourself, since you might very well be reinforcing gender roles in yourself and others:

joking is 100% fine obviously, but sooo many of these i've seen completely unironically within the lgbtq community (terfs dni)

#1 - i'm not a woman or i don't feel like a woman because... i'm too masculine, hairy, loud, snarky, confident, wish i was tall and buff, want to be the one in charge, don't care if i'm pretty, do unwomanly things, don't like fashion, don't like makeup, don't know how to do small talk, don't understand social cues, enjoy stereotypically masculine interests, like to be the one penetrating during sex, like being rough during sex, like dominating, like being tough, all things that obviously contradict womanhood

#2 - i'm not a man or i don't feel like a man because... i'm too feminine, don't like body hair, have a more feminine or high pitched voice, talk or dress in a stereotypically girly way, enjoy dresses and skirts and dolls and makeup, enjoy stereotypically feminine interests, like being the submissive one and being penetrated (which i see as a "womanly thing" especially if it's in a rough way), like being polite and docile and dainty or being promiscuous and wearing revealing outfits, or even being a sex worker, all things that are girl things to me and make me feel like a woman and aren't something a real man would ever be

#3 - OBVIOUSLY i'm not a man/woman... look how androgynous i look!!! how did that cis person even think i was cis lmao???? i'm too gender nonconforming to actually be a cis man/woman, obviously even i will assume a gender conforming person is cis but a VISIBLY ANDROGYNOUS person like ME??? extra hilarious!!!! (there isn't a specific "trans look" bc trans/nonbinary can look like anything and gnc people exist so this is sexist and transphobic af)

#4 - [anything that implies that being trans/nonbinary is a political statement for the person or a choice to say fuck you to cissexist heteropatriarchal society instead of a very personal identity like being gay or bisexual, it's just a political subculture]

#5 - i'm gay/bi/etc and i believe that my lgbtq identity inherently contradicts me being a cis man/woman

fyi, #5 is said not in the respectful way someone will describe their own personal identity, but rather trying to literally state that being gay/bi/etc inherently means not feeling like a man/woman despite MANY lgbtq men & women being totally connected to their binary gender, feeling a special connection to it through their gayness. this includes binary trans people who have a very unique connection to manhood or womanhood. it's not cool to label gayness or transness as inherently nonbinary. radical sure, but binary lgbtq people have fought FOREVER to be seen as no less of a man/woman than anyone cishet, an obviously homophobic af belief that is pushed by bigots everywhere, to the point where some countries have transition legalized but not homosexuality bc they think that being gay makes you not a real man/woman, so you might as well become a "normal" straight person by transitioning. this shit should be called tf out

#6 - i don't agree with misogyny and i want to distance myself from it politically despite being 100% comfortable with being male and living as male and not having any social or physical dysphoria, or even euphoria, so i use the term nonbinary to show support to women. this is a take i've actually seen passed around lmao, both from transmasc and transfem people

#7 - i just want to make cishet people uncomfortable. it's funny as a joke obviously, i've said i'm gay to make men mad wayyy too many times i get it. but some people when prompted will deadass say that's their only reason to identify as nonbinary. and ngl that sounds like treating transness as a political accessory instead of just a personal identity. which means they think being trans is a choice, like political lesbianism back in the day

there's so many hilarious jokes to make about gender that i love seeing around. so many fun ways to describe gender identity. but let's not feed cishet people's sexism and reinforce the bullshit we've learned growing up, excusing it by giving it a fresh rainbow coat of paint. the last thing the community needs is tighter gender roles. we need to EXPAND not only what it means to be nonbinary, but ALSO what it means to be a binary man or woman!!! it's okay if some of these were signs for you, but the way you speak about it matters

[arcane-abomination]

Let’s Talk Otherkin

I’ve been questioned more than once about this…even have people I barely know swearing that I’m an otherkin because “they can tell” and I can’t help but feel very disheartened by the thought that someone has the audacity and entitlement to push their way into my life and try to control my headspace in such a way just to validate their own beliefs. Inquiring of my views on the matter of my own making is fine, I haven’t a single problem with that but assuming you know me better than I know myself is another matter entirely.

First of all, to be otherkin often implies the notion of a life before this one. A time which you experienced and lived in a different form. But that is not me. I’m not an old soul seeking to pick up a broken past and piece it together once again. On the contrary, I am a new soul. A brand new being that is only just now making its journey. I have no past, therefore I just am. How do I know? It’s common for old souls to be drawn in to self discovery of their past lives. The need calls like a desperate voice longing to be realized, but that’s something I don’t have the pleasure of hearing. Nor do I feel even the slightest nudge to do anything in regards to a past life. The thought seems completely pointless to me. Which tells me that there’s nothing from a past seeking to find me. I’m alone…new…pure.

Secondly, how I view the spirit/soul/etc can negate otherkin for the most part, or at the very least altar the view on how it presents itself. I feel that the soul is a formless thing, no gender, nor physicality to speak of. It’s our perception that gives us form, that molds us into something we can find useful for whatever reason. Our soul is as fluid as water and our perception is the mold it’s poured into. With that understanding, once we detach from our living vessel (death) we become formless again and we recognize our true nature once again…our fluidity. From that we can reconnect to a living vessel if we so choose and that’s where the path of multiple lives comes from. However, because we are a limitless being without form, we can take on any new vessel, not just what we were prior. (It’s uncertain if we get to choose this new vessel or not.) But I do believe these other lives and other forms taken can continue to present themselves within our minds. Our comfort of the form that life on once took, still exists within us and we subconsciously seek out that comfort again…That’s why we tell ourselves we are otherkin. A being beyond the human body we are now.

This psychic memory can be very insistent sometimes and perception, a reality that already easily fools us, can only add to the confusion. Most otherkin (at least lots of the ones I’ve conversed with) often talk about their memories of that past life and insist on their soul feeling like it’s a different form. In my eyes this only further proves my point. Memories of a form from the past that the perceived reality hasn’t quite let go of. Only when we remember we are formless do we finally feel at peace, as or soul begins to reform and shift into the current fleshy mold we inhabit. It’s a lot like trying to shove an ice cube into a round hole. But instead of giving up it’s been jammed in, forcibly making it fit which is why many otherkin describe their current form as feeling unnatural. But recognizing the limitless that we are can help us to accept the change and allow us to alter ourselves from the cube we were convinced we were to the sphere we need to be right now.

Now there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be something else and as I said, we are formless beings. We can make ourselves into whatever more comfortable form we like after we die. The astral as well can serve as a momentary burst of freedom in that way, as our astral bodies act a lot like our souls do. They are moldable formless beings, but fitting the mold you have in the physical can help to bring ease where there isn’t any. Can help to calm the restlessness many otherkin feel they have.

Now I recognize that there maybe a lot more nuances to the otherkin then the surface level I’ve scratched. And that there will be many that disagree with my thoughts on this whole subject and that’s perfectly fine. We each have different beliefs that take us to different realms of what we view as reality. And personally I’m not one to deny anyone their own personal reality if they aren’t hurting anyone and it brings them joy, understanding, and a love for themselves along the way. They have a right to live it and think however they want and I will always defend their right to do so. This is just how I believe and how I see the evidence the universe has sent to me. It is only my intention to share this perspective, not control how others use theirs.

EDIT://

I forgot to mention a crucial detail. As I mentioned our perceived reality (our perception) can often play tricks on us, and tell us what we want to hear rather than what we need to hear. So it can also be possible the thoughts of otherkin could be nothing more than wishful thinking. A response to anxiety, depression, even trauma brought on by feeling less than, or being either neglected or bullied. It’s common to withdraw inwards and create a safe space for ourselves and make ourselves feel important in some way. Especially when that feeling of importance is something we’ve desperately been craving.

The mind can be a cruel beast. Because our true nature is formless it can often unconsciously hold the mentality “I think therefore I am” And it’s this mentality we can often fall victim to, especially during periods of loneliness and stress. Our subconscious side doesn’t always consider our limited mold but rather continues to treat us as if we are still limitless. I think therefore I am, only works when in a limitless state and as I mentioned that is either the astral or death. We need to teach our subconscious minds the difference. Train them not to over fill the mold and let it spill over, creating a shape that doesn’t fit the way it needs to while in our current fleshy prison.