#i appreciate and understand that she's advanced and therefore a lot of at least the beginning semesters was just boring useless review for

[loverboybrightsideghost]

sort of ish re: my last post, i would actually have been so happy to take all four years of theory if it meant i'd learn more and learn more in depth. lowkey. alas, i am instead just going to have to read some textbooks and listen to a lot of music, which is still good cuz i like reading and listening, but a better class would've been nice.

[scribbleseas]

in love & in war, drabble 5: the one where he begins to understand you

Description: Join Ciel, the Earl of Phantomhive, as he embarks on one of the most difficult challenges of his professional life: getting you to fall in love with him in order to become the next chairman of TransAtlantica—your father’s vast shipping empire.

Warnings: none!

Author’s Note: hi! i have nothing to say for myself except, i'm trying my best lol. i'm so sorry for the delay, this ended up being so much longer than i expected. i hope you all like this one! i had a lot of fun writing it. next stop (hopefully): wanted dead or alive, chapter 1! assuming i don’t change my mind and premiere the other new fic i’m working on and surprise ya’ll. who knows, right?? suspense is fun lol. anyway, thank you for reading!!

Happy Reading!

Dan <3

⇐ PREVIOUS DRABBLE | NEXT DRABBLE ⇒

MASTERLIST

Regent’s Park, London, 1895

CIEL PHANTOMHIVE

Ciel arrived at Regent’s Park far earlier than he should have, but he would have otherwise been a fool to risk arriving after Adam Kingston did.

He had to be in control. It was imperative to maintain Lady Y/n’s attention, and he was decently assured that they would both be in attendance today. No one with an exclusive invite would miss an Edward Sutton exhibition—the grossly affluent man picked a new engineering project to sponsor every year. He accepted applications from engineers and funded the fruits of their imagination and labor into reality, oftentimes developing these innovations into businesses. Each year, he’d host these outdoor exhibitions, turning them into social functions to make the most of his publicity.

This time, Ciel supposed Sutton chose some engineer who made an advancement with hot air balloons. Something about changing the burners that fueled them. Ciel didn’t particularly care for engineering—Sebastian suggested he allow Y/n explain it to him, anyway, it made her feel confident—but there was something to be said about annual sponsorship programs. TransAtlantica was nothing without its charitable pursuits, and Lord Richmond and Edward Sutton were old friends. 

Nevertheless, it was another tiring, unfortunate outdoor social gathering that Ciel had to grit his way through. Even worse, this event came just on the heels of that cursed Grand National race a little less than a week ago. He hadn’t seen Lady Y/n since—he’d failed to secure another invitation from her at the end of the race because he’d been so livid. Her face had been overshadowed with something between pity and regret, smoothed over by a smile that would have fooled anyone unacquainted with her. Ciel had to make a quick escape to avoid making an ass of himself.

Kingston’s appearance wasn’t her doing, it seemed to have been at her mother’s hand, Ciel reminded himself. He took a long drink out of his sherry cobbler cocktail, the sour wine undercut by hints of orange. Ciel needed the beverage’s cold reprise before she showed. It was going to be soon, and he needed his mood to improve before that happened. 

Ciel settled next to a high table, one of many near Sutton’s outside bar and banquet table crowded with hors d'oeuvres. It was an open cocktail bar; therefore, bound to get busier as more guests joined, so he thought to request one for Lady Y/n, too. She might appreciate the thought—Sebastian did say she liked fruity wine selections. 

The sun was beating down on the Earl hard, and he was positive his dark hair absorbed the light and made him warmer. At least there was a notable breeze, a strong one that pushed through his heated hair and dried up the beginnings of perspiration on his face. Ciel’s nose wrinkled at the scent of freshly cut grass and the lingering scent of gasoline. Down the field, Sutton’s engineering team fussed with the giant hot air balloon. The massive balloon bobbed, but each person held a rope to tether it into the ground. 

“Everyone is arrivin’ early! Hurry up and secure it already!” One of the workers snapped, hurriedly looking up as more guests entered the field. It was just about time for the prompt noble families to start showing up: in tandem with the exact time printed on their invitation. 

Ciel could handle this. He’d planned and prepared for this event. Adam Kingston was no one but a husk of an entirely prosaic man. It didn’t matter that he was more acquainted with the Y/l/n family than Ciel was. Once Y/n spent longer than a moment or so with Kingston now, she would realize he was no conversationalist. She and Ciel were intellectuals. He was a soldier. A cocky, over confident son of a—

“Lord Phantomhive, good afternoon.” Lady Y/n sounded nervous behind him.

The moment he heard her voice, Ciel urged his scowl to fall from his face. Sebastian had condescendingly coached him about the abrasive expression he wore time and time again. Apparently, Ciel’s frustrated glare and impatient purse of his lips made him appear dour and sanctimonious. So he took a long drink out of his chilled cocktail before he turned around, urging the tension out of his shoulders.

A man Y/n would want to love was patient and understanding. Not dour and sanctimonious. The future chairman of the foremost shipping country in the United Kingdom, and perhaps most of Europe, thought before he acted.

Y/N Y/L/N

Lord Phantomhive was slow to face you, likely occupied with the sight of Edward Sutton’s group of sponsored engineers struggling to re-tether their giant gas balloon to the ground. It was quite a sight, though you hoped the engineers didn’t rush the important process of reliably securing it down.

“My Lady,” Lord Phantomhive answered easily, meeting your gaze confidently in spite of the discourteousness that perspired the week before. He was nursing a cocktail, just as most of the young men at the gathering were. It was hot enough outside to justify it, you supposed. An untouched cocktail stood on the high table next to the Earl. “How do you do?”

“Quite well, thank you,” your answer came out more hurried than you wished. Unladylike. You pursed and released your lips, they slid easily from the light lip rouge on them. Your gloved hand tucked a stray strand of hair back behind your ear, it fell free from the braided bun Daphne twisted your hair into. “I apologize for last week…I—” your breath stalled, unsure how to verbalize that your mother hijacked the outing without your consent. As a young girl, your etiquette master never covered a situation like this.  

Speak with intent. “I was not as informed as I would have liked to have been. And I apologize because…” I should have been.

It was your fourth time meeting the Earl in any official capacity, and yet your mouth still felt dry with unspoken words, embarrassment. He drew such wariness and uncertainty from you—not at all like most eligible men your age. You’d never felt so unsure of yourself in front of someone, but you simply couldn’t know what to make of him. 

“My Lady…” Lord Phantomhive acknowledged your apology, but he didn’t entertain it. He seemed to accept it with a diminutive shake of his head, dismissing your guilt. He offered you the untouched cocktail to his right, and you took it with thanks. Your fingers brushed against Lord Phantomhive’s bare hand in the exchange. The drink was a peace offering and an invitation to talk longer, you hoped, so you stepped forward to stand at his side and watch the engineers secure the balloon. 

He must have thought to request a drink for you. And a tasteful sherry wine selection, at that. You could tell by the smell of its fruity fragrance—you adored sherry wine. 

“Here to see Sutton’s new toy?” Lord Phantomhive asked, a ghost of a smile lifted the side of his mouth. “I certainly am.”

“Of course. My father reviews Mr. Sutton’s applicants with him every cycle,” you answered with a thankful smile, appreciating the way the cold glass felt through your lace gloves. You turned to gesture at your parents engaged in a vibrant conversation with Edward and his wife, Maria. 

“Right,” Lord Phantomhive nodded. “This hot air balloon has an adapted burner or–” he stopped himself, immediately catching the way your eyebrows drew together. Your mouth opened and closed because you wanted to interject, but immediately thought better of it. “You may correct me, please,” he told you with false exhaustion. He took a purposeful drink out of his cocktail, gesturing at you to explain the project’s significance.

You laughed, ice in your drink clattering against your glass as your shoulders bounced. “Come. I can show you,” you guided Lord Phantomhive down the green field. As you walked together, you explained, “Mr. Sutton’s team devised a gas balloon filled with hydrogen. Hot air powered balloons are unreliable because there is no device that can efficiently regulate the heat, which controls the balloon’s altitude. Hydrogen gas, meanwhile, is easily adjustable and eliminates the need to maintain a steady fire.”

“How would they manage to get the hydrogen inside?” the Earl asked you, indicating that he was actively listening. So few truly listened to you…it was considered unladylike for you to jabber on, but he asked! He asked you. He could have asked one of the engineers—they were each answering questions and engaging with other guests—or even Sutton himself...but he waited. For you. With a drink—a selection you liked.

Most of the guests stood around the balloon, a few too many people close to its swaying tethers. You pointed to the balloon’s open bottom, “they fill it with pipes that funnel the hydrogen through—they make the hydrogen with sulphuric acid and iron filaments.”

“Fascinating. The gas inside is lighter than the material outside, so it rises…” Lord Phantomhive mumbled, looking intently at the craftsmanship. The balloon itself was red, blue, and white, the colors of the British flag. 

“Did you know that they used hot air balloons in the Civil War? In the States?” you asked, taking a drink out of your cocktail. Your throat seized uncomfortably when a familiar blond inserted himself between the gas balloon and you and Lord Phantomhive.

“Indeed they did, Lady Y/n. Indeed they did,” Lord Kingston’s voice made you pause.

CIEL PHANTOMHIVE

Ciel’s first mistake was allowing Lady Y/n to relocate them closer to the heart of the event. If Adam Kingston was going to be anywhere, it would be working the room. Or the lavishly decorated field, in this bloody case. 

“Hello, Y/n. You look breathtaking on this fine and flawless day,” Kingston greeted disingenuously, pointedly ignoring Ciel. He seemed to have just stepped out of a conversation with Leonardo Sutton, Edward’s son, and a few other heirs Ciel didn’t care to identify. “I was hoping to see you here. We never got to speak the other day.”

Ciel had just opened his mouth to tell Y/n that no, he hadn’t known that, and the slimy bastard took the opportunity to insert himself in the middle of their conversation. Shameless. Shameless. Instead, Ciel merely watched Adam Kingston, his snake-like green eyes illuminated in the sunlight, the glare making them appear paler. He dressed plainly in a white shirt, brown trousers. A ruby family ring sparkled on his finger and another gold signet ring on his other hand with the number 32, his regiment number from South Africa, or something like that. Sebastian took Ciel through a decent two hours of reconnaissance about the guy.

A man like Kingston will aim to get a rise out of you my Lord. You must not allow him to make you a fool, Sebastian had reminded Ciel when he stepped out of the carriage that afternoon. 

He will not make me into something I am not, Ciel had insisted.

“Thank you, Lord Kingston,” Y/n answered sheepishly, red blooming in her cheeks. Adam’s compliment seemed to land, and Ciel wasn’t blind to the way his gaze risked downwards, certainly not interested in her simple diamond necklace, but most definitely the way her light sage gown looked on her body. The subtle floral print on it was a delicate shade of baby pink. Her neckline dipped slightly down, leading to a small bow towards the bottom of her sternum. The shape of this particular gown hugged the curve of her waist and fell down her legs in ruffles. The wind made her skirts hike up slightly, exposing hints of her matching pink heels and pushing her hair about. She had it arranged in an elegant bun typical of her, but much like the beachy wind on the pier, the gusts on the field pushed strands out. 

She did look good, objectively. 

Y/N Y/L/N

Your etiquette master certainly never covered this type of social crisis—Lord Kingston watching you as if Lord Phantomhive wasn’t even there, and Lord Phantomhive examining you as if Lord Kingston’s comment suddenly gave him something to consider.

Facing each other, they were an artistic sight, too. Lord Phantomhive’s dark and intense look directly contrasted by Lord Kingston’s traditional princely charisma made for such a marvel. Particularly as their gazes met—stern and unforgiving blue against easygoing, mischievous chartreuse. 

Kingston crossed his arms over his chest casually, lifting his chin and staring down his nose. 

Each man was silent too, expecting the other to introduce himself first. They were unwilling to take the introductory step because it was a vulnerable position, and they were of the same peerage rank, Earls. Had one of them been lower, the burden of introduction would have been yours. But judging by the tense silence…it was yours regardless. 

It would be worse to hold two separate conversations concurrently, you decided. You presumed your etiquette book would agree. So you would introduce them.

“Lord Phantomhive, this is Lord Adam Kingston,” you urged yourself to sound calm. Perfectly well—not as if you were wishing to escape. Not as if your throat was threatening to close. “Lord Kingston, this is Lord Ciel Phantomhive,” you said.

“Good to meet you,” Lord Phantomhive said first, extending his free hand to shake Adam’s. He took a slight step forward, but Lord Kingston did not step back as anyone else would have. “You’re the fellow who took the Grand National home, aren’t you? What impeccable luck for a soldier.”

Luck. From the way Lord Kingston’s seafoam eyes hardened, the word and its implications were far from lost on him. His fingers intertwined with Lord Phantomhive's in a single terse shake before releasing. A tad too hasty.

“Guilty,” Kingston said with a dry laugh, one you could tell he didn’t mean. “And you sell children’s toys and confectionery. How delightful,” Lord Kingston simpered. Your eyes immediately darted to Lord Phantomhive’s face. You held your breath, your grip on your glass tightening. 

You were sweating. You wanted to use your panic signal with Daphne, but there was no good that would do. It wasn’t a dangerous situation. It was only…excruciating. 

CIEL PHANTOMHIVE

So Adam did his research about Ciel, too. Good to know.

“Quite. Funtom has been rather fortunate to have outperformed in every quarter this year,” he answered seamlessly. Adam Kingston was not going to attack his company and flirt with the woman Ciel was clearly courting right in front of him. For the second time. Over his mutilated, dismembered, corpse.   

“God forbid the little boys and girls go without their stuffies, right?” Adam teased. It would have appeared good natured to anyone else, but Ciel knew better. Lord Kingston was the worst type of man—-too immature to obey proper courtship ordinances and wait his bloody turn. 

He will try to make you look uncaring and aloof. That is his game, Sebastian had insisted. Make him look childish when his jabs fail to land. Remember who you are there for.

Ciel could handle a catty, flirtatious nobody. He was here for himself and his future prospects. TransAtlantica was not an option; it was an inevitability. 

So Ciel, with his own dry laugh…that was also clearly, far from genuine, let Adam’s comment roll off his back. There was no use in another retort. It’d be too inflammatory and juvenile. 

“My Lady, you were saying that the Americans used gas balloons in their Civil War? You were just about to tell me,” Ciel reminded her. He didn’t even cast a glance at Adam. Although he was truly there for himself, everyone else had to believe he was there for her. This was a clever display of partnership. He would help Y/n diffuse the situation and seemingly set his pride aside in doing so.

But, this decision would favor him in the end. She would appreciate it—he could see it in the way her shoulders dropped. 

Y/N Y/L/N

Immediately, your shoulders relaxed. Your next smile was easier to construct because Lord Phantomhive had given you such a seamless transition. Your chest had felt tight from the moment Adam interrupted you. Lord Phantomhive had understood exactly what you needed—just by reading the situation. 

“I was,” you confirmed, attempting to hide the full extent of your relief. You didn’t want your old friend to assume that you didn’t want to talk to him. And you did not have the luxury of speaking without consequence, Leonardo Sutton and that group was not shy about their presence. You could hear Leonardo making some crass joke to his circle somewhere behind your back. This affair, much like most of your outings, was populated with your peers. And those of your parents. 

You couldn’t appear vapid and indecisive. 

Your father dedicated too much time to cultivating your knowledge for polite society to believe you were catty. What would he say to you right now? You had to fight the urge to look back at the tables situated near the bar in search of him. 

 “…Shall we return to our table? I can bore you with facts about reconnaissance and artillery hot air balloons, if you wish, Lord Phantomhive,” you attempted to quip, turning to him. 

The transition was far from subtle, but Adam hadn’t been either in his objectives. And he had stolen your attention at the last outing. You hadn’t been fair to Lord Phantomhive, and you had to repay that. Adam Kingston could not break the standard for proper courtship processes; if he wished to declare his interest in your hand, he needed to do so properly. If you continued like this, the three of you would make a scene.

“That would be delightful,” he answered, meeting your gaze. Understanding was clear in his face, amusement curving his mouth yet again. You took a step back, indicating that you were finished with the interaction. Adam’s face fell and he took another short step closer.  

“Lord Kingston, it has been lovely speaking to you, but we should be going—”

CIEL PHANTOMHIVE

“To your table? I would love to try one of—whatever it is you’ve got there, they look divine,” Adam interjected, gesturing to his and Y/n’s identical cocktails. “And of course, to hear about the hot air balloons, and all. I forgot how much you like to…read,” he said, the last word flat and disdainful to his ears, but Y/n didn’t seem to notice.

Kingston wasn’t going down without a fight, but it was only to his detriment. He was maddening, but the worse he acted, the more Lady Y/n would wish him away. The gentlemanly action would have been to let them leave; both she and TransAtlantica desired someone diplomatic and rational. Socially adept.   

Ciel could see Lady Y/n’s dissent in the way her eyebrows furrowed together and her mouth pressed into a politely frustrated line for a moment. If Kingston noticed, he made a persuasive effort in acting as if he hadn’t.

“I always have,” she answered as pleasantly as she could manage, observant eyes swiftly gathering that the rest of the party was invested in this exchange. Ciel could feel eyes on them. Craning necks were ever-present in this life of gilded luxury, always. If he could feel the interest of interlopers, so could Lady Y/n.

“Though…” the noblewoman started to say. Her gaze met Ciel’s, somehow asking, fretting, and apologizing all at once. Her resolve crumbled under the scrutiny around them.

The rest of the aristocracy wanted to know if Lady Y/n would truly tell her old friend to leave her be after such a grand gesture last week. Fine. Let her see how he and Kingston compared intellectually, if she wished. Fine!

“They are sherry cobbler cocktails,” Ciel interrupted seamlessly, his voice polite, verging on unctuous. The same subtly impertinent tone Sebastian took with him. From experience, he knew it was enraging. “I chose them from today’s selection. You ought to join us back at our table, Kingston. You may just learn another thing or two,” Ciel challenged as politely as his select words could manage. He made eye contact with Adam, their sight lines meeting. Ciel refused to break eye contact—even if it was to risk a look at Y/n’s reaction. He and Adam were the same height, just about, but their physical similarities seemed to end there. 

Unable to deny Ciel’s confrontation, Adam reflected his chilling smile. He laughed a little, broad shoulders jumping. “With Lady Y/n? I always expect to learn something new. Ever since we were small.”

Ciel fought his urge to roll his eyes. And his urge to bury his face—now beading with sweat from the infernal sun in the damn sky—in his hands. 

Y/N Y/L/N

The exchange was painful, but a surprisingly genuine show of understanding on Lord Phantomhive’s part. The Earl had caught onto your fears and made conclusions based on your microexpressions, a silent language that you’d thought only Daphne would ever know. Was this what it was like to feel the beginnings of the connection you so craved? 

There was something traitorous about the hope you felt. You’d never thought girlish giddiness would feel so scandalous. 

The three of you stood at the same high table. A server brought Adam a drink and with the full utilization of your charisma and social awareness, you managed to hold one terse conversation between the three of you. Lord Phantomhive even helped you navigate it, somehow simultaneously fending off Lord Kingston’s disguised slights without making a scene.

He encouraged you to speak the most, to be the focus of the interaction because the animosity between them would never improve. Everyone knew why that was: they each wanted a chance at your hand. Two of your social class’ most eligible bachelors had their sights set on you. 

Or your family name and business. 

You managed to rebuild your confidence by talking through the intricacies of ballooning, their history, the science. After all, you’d only fostered that knowledge in light of Mr. Sutton’s project. Although you didn’t see every application your father looked at, he did show you some of the standout pitches. Lofty businessmen approached him and TransAtlantica with new ideas nearly every day—you had to know a good idea when you saw one. 

Once you found your stride, you nodded at Daphne. The maid had been sending you increasingly worried faces, but as you settled into a new topic, you knew you had this under control. You would not flail, you would not retreat. 

If you couldn’t do this much, how could you ever hope to have an executive spot in your family business?

Before you knew it, the sun started to set and dinner was served with a champagne toast led by Edward Sutton and your father. 

You knocked your flute of champagne with both Lord Phantomhive and Lord Kingston individually, the three of you taking a drink in tandem. Each nobleman made a point of not knocking his glass with the other. 

“Interesting selection,” Lord Phantomhive commented, taking another curious drink of the champagne. “Vintage?” He asked you, lifting an eyebrow. You couldn’t discern if he was truly curious or bidding to make conversation. 

“It seems so,” you answered with uncertainty, unsure without seeing the specific bottle. The champagne was strong on your tongue. The taste was complex: somewhere between honey, spice, and brioche.

“It’s rich enough to be. Not very acidic and rich on the palette,” Adam said. “I know Mr. Sutton likes 1800 Grande Cognac. He would certainly break it out for a celebration like this. Oh, Leo! Perfect. What selection is this?” He gave a bright smile to Leonardo Sutton as he approached your table, flute of champagne in hand.

The event only had about an hour or two left before it reached its natural conclusion. In theory, there might have been a way for you to complete it without another major social upset.

But unfortunately, that estimation would have required you to overestimate Leonardo Sutton. At least, he had the good sense to leave the rest of his and Adam’s friends back at their table. 

Most of them disliked you, and the feeling was mutual. They’d each struck out on courtship-intended outings with you—particularly Leonardo.

“1800 Grande Cognac, why? We’re liking this selection?” Leonardo grinned at the three of you bumping his flute with Adam and drinking, the latter laughing because his guess was correct. “How are you, Lady Y/n? Lord Phantomhive?” He extended his flute to you and Lord Phantomhive.

“Just lovely, Leonardo,” you replied dismissively. 

“You know I prefer Leo,” the young man smarted, as if you weren’t a noblewoman who outranked him. The Sutton family was not ennobled; they were the start of an fabulously wealthy lineage. If you married a man like Leonardo, you’d never see TransAtlantica’s boardroom ever again, much less a contract or a revenue summary…or…the thought was too horrible to bear. But that was why you would find a suitable man who loved you enough to throw social norms to the wind and honor your and your father’s wishes. The ones he fought such a long, legal battle to secure as a potential reality for you. Most women were never to engage in business or bookkeeping, but if you married a man who was the Chairman in name, you were meticulously trained to handle any of the responsibilities associated with it. 

All you had to do was find a man competent and modest enough to let you. If a man courted you for the business, he would surely ignore you.

CIEL PHANTOMHIVE

The light in Y/n’s eyes died when Leonardo Sutton invited himself into the conversation. Ciel’s own mood dipped lower than he thought possible, too. Leonardo was not a malicious man, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t bothersome. Like a troublesome fly buzzing around his head. The man’s voice was irritating enough to equate to that frustrating noise.

Clearing his throat, Leonardo spoke again, disliking the silence that permeated when Lady Y/n refused to engage with his tired nickname quip. He primarily drank and rode comfortably on his father’s coattails; Ciel couldn’t help his amusement at Y/n’s (evident, to him) disdain. 

“They’re letting people go in it, two at a time. Not to ride—it’s too windy today—just to take a closer look inside,” he said, well aware of the implications of his words. He was attempting to imply that Lady Y/n would have to choose between Ciel and Adam, and trying to make another scene. 

Did Adam put his friend up to this stunt? Ciel wouldn’t put it past Adam—not after his cattiness thus far. 

“That sounds fantastic,” Kingston replied, a terrible actor. His snake eyes cut to Y/n purposefully as she lifted her glass to her lips. “They do seem like they’re...learning quite a lot in there,” he suggested, referring to the guests climbing in and out of the balloon’s wicker basket. The balloon levitated a few feet up in the air, bobbing in its fixed position through its tethers and ballast weights keeping it from floating away.

Adam’s statement was a flailing attempt to appeal to Y/n, Ciel felt. The awkward smile Adam gave to Y/n was just charming enough to make the trying statement seem thoughtful.

When he shifted in his seat at the dinner table—Sutton’s staff converted some of the casual high tables for dining tables—Ciel recalled he had a knife tucked into his trousers. All he honestly needed was ten minutes alone with Kingston, a change of clothing, and a shovel to hide the evidence. 

The Earl’s fingers pressed hard around the stem of his glass, instead, longing to wrap around something much larger, and warmer. Like Kingston’s neck, for instance.

“I’ve already studied the diagrams so much I’ve practically memorized them,” Y/n explained with a short laugh, one that was completely faux to Ciel, but he doubted Adam and Leonardo noticed. 

Knowing her, she was burning to take a look at the real mechanism and compare it to the diagrams from the proposal, but there was no graceful way to choose between Ciel and Adam. “I would hate to take up the time in there when someone could truly learn something,” she explained smartly, reasoning her way out of the affront. 

“I feel that studying the diagrams is entirely different than seeing them up close,” Kingston tried again. 

Before Ciel could help himself, he chimed in. “Some can grasp a new concept faster than others, I reckon, Lady Y/n.”

Y/N Y/L/N

Not even you could conceal the laugh that Lord Phantomhive tore out of you.

You felt a guilty sense of relief when the conversation’s focus shifted from your bemusement to Leonardo’s startling exclamation of worry, the curses that followed it. His brown eyes widened in shock, “No! Secure it, secure it!” Leonardo yelled, causing your head to jerk, looking behind your seat as two attendants struggled to pull the floating gas balloon back towards the ground… with a young boy inside, screaming and crying as the balloon ascended in the orange sky. The attendants around scrambled frantically, crying out for help to pull the balloon down by the ropes. 

“We must help!” Lord Kingston insisted. He, Lord Phantomhive, and Leonardo didn’t wait another moment before charging towards the balloon. Most of the men around you did, whereas you jumped to your feet, hands covering your mouth in worry. 

“This is horrible!’ You exclaimed at Daphne, breath labored as you lifted your skirts to run closer, joining onlookers as young men helped the attendants wrestle with the balloon against the wind. In the front of the crowd, a woman—-presumably the boy’s mother—-sobbed in the arms of another woman you didn’t know. 

“They’re going to get him back down, Elizabeth, they’ve got him. See? Look at all the strong young men,” the woman insisted, her voice thin with worry. 

You wracked your mind for an explanation. The tethering certainly seemed more than stable…the gas balloon had a number of weights on it. The wind was stronger than usual, but certainly not enough to make the balloon break free of its restrictions, surely. None of the ropes seemed to have snapped, either….what happened?

CIEL PHANTOMHIVE

There was a silent, stiff understanding between himself and Lord Kingston: neither one of them was interested in fumbling this accident and appearing like halfwits in front of polite society. And Y/n Y/l/n. 

“Kingston, take this! Pull!” Ciel shouted over the overlapping yells around them. He took hold of the last rope without anyone to pull it down. He offered Adam the tail of the rope as he pulled from slightly further up the rope, the rough texture making his palms red and raw. The Earl dug the short heels of his boots into the grass, engaging every bit of his strength in urging the balloon down in one of the world’s most intensive games of tug of war.

“All right, all right,” Kingston said, gaze darting between the rope in Ciel’s hand and meeting his stare, as if he couldn’t believe Ciel would let him help. Not even the Earl of Phantomhive’s ego was large enough to refuse help in saving a child. The notion was nearly offensive.

Behind him, Adam started pulling as well, slightly lessening the resistance Ciel encountered.

“Heave, men, heave!” Edward Sutton grunted, pulling a rope with Leonardo and another engineer. There were six ropes with a few men to each one, gradually tugging the balloon back down to avoid tipping it or scaring the boy even more. 

Ciel gritted his teeth, his arms and the rest of his body shaking with effort. Sweat ran down his neck and the side of his spine. Ridiculous, this was, and he had a decent idea as to why it was happening, too. There was no doubt a smug demon butler in the vicinity watching his master put all of his mental and physical capabilities into romancing a young woman, and using any excuse to challenge him further. 

What is your point, Sebastian? Ciel wanted to yell out.

Y/N Y/L/N

As you watched the assortment between engineers, Sutton’s help, and noblemen work in tandem to re-tether the gas balloon’s restraints, you couldn’t help but feel drawn to watching Lord Phantomhive work. His royal blue eye and raven hair were even more striking against his light grey vest and white undershirt. When the Earl focused, he seemed unstoppable. You held your breath.

You’d never seen him move so dynamically, either, save from when he pulled you out of the way of a moving carriage. 

“My Lady…” Daphne reminded you gently, placing a sisterly hand on your shoulder. “You are starting at the Earl Phantomhive,” she reminded you quietly, close to your ear. The blond gestured to your mother at the front of the crowd, carefully watching your father. 

Flushing, you immediately stared at the blades of grass below you. You squeezed your eyes closed, releasing the breath you were holding. How shameful. There was a child in peril and you were….

Control yourself, Y/n. Mother and father are here.

“Thank you, Daphne,” you sighed. The young woman squeezed your shoulder affectionately and released you. 

Fortunately, it didn’t take long for the group to gain control of the balloon, the attendants successfully re-tying it down. Lord Kingston helped the young boy down the short ladder and into his mother’s waiting arms. She kneeled in the grass, sobbing with her child close to her chest. “My baby, my baby,” she mumbled into his hair, gentle fingers running through it. Her husband, one of those pulling the ropes, embraced his wife and child on his knees, a scene that made your throat feel tight. Your eyes stung, tears threatening to run down your face. You blinked rapidly to regain control. 

Love. It was love.

“You should tell him he did a lovely job, my Lady,” Daphne suggested, a little more impishly than she’d typically risk. The blonde giggled at you.

You swallowed around your dry throat, nodding twice in agreement so hard that you could feel your teardrop earrings sway. 

CIEL PHANTOMHIVE

Ciel’s right arm crossed his chest in a deep stretch. He was sweating more than a pig, it was miserable. He was in pain, and he would be for the next couple of days to a week for this strenuous exercise in—

“Lord Phantomhive,” Lady Y/n approached him rather than Adam, who masked his mortification by turning to Leonardo. “That was incredible.”

“It was an effort that required all of our participation,” Ciel answered as diplomatically as he could manage. He immediately dropped his right arm, disinterested in appearing weak or in pain before the noblewoman. Instead, he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, certain his hair was disheveled along with the rest of him. The new pair of boots he sported had to be caked in dirt, too. 

“Of course, though it couldn’t have been easy,” Y/n insisted, likely taking in how disorderly and piggish Ciel looked. There was no way his appearance was appealing in any way, and yet, she’d never had such awe in her face when she regarded him before this. Save for perhaps the first few seconds after he pulled her out of the way of that carriage—before he misspoke.

It wasn’t easy. It’s a miracle I’m still in one piece, damn it. 

“I’m simply relieved we managed to help the boy,” Ciel told her, motioning towards the embracing family with his chin. The mother had yet to let go of their child or even stop crying. “And that we were there in time—what a strange accident.”

“It was, wasn’t it?” Y/n agreed ponderously. “I cannot understand why the tethers would just…fail so suddenly,” she said, frowning as she looked back at the balloon. Edward Sutton, Lord Y/l/n, and the engineering team asked for the guests to return to the tables to allow them to inspect it for technical faults. 

They wouldn’t find any, Ciel presumed. His butler had to have taken some creative measures to…raise the stakes. Literally. 

“I’m sure they will find the cause and correct the issue,” he lied seamlessly as they started back towards their table. For all intents and purposes, the event was over. Most of the guests were too unsettled and worried to sustain the atmosphere and company. 

“Absolutely,” Lady Y/n agreed. “...Lord Phantomhive? Would you perhaps consider…tea? At my home? This week?”

TAGLIST: @theblueslytherin, @luckyladylottie, @yuzu-ku, @zyrixal, @mylostleftfootsock @nanaloverz

If you would like to join the taglist, feel free to drop a comment or an ask!

[simslegacy5083]

Not So Berry (Straud Descendants) Gen 9

Today's (8/16/2024) Episode: The Dynamic Duo

Following his press conference, Luigi appreciated the rehabilitation of his reputation but hated being sidelined until after his wedding.

It seemed his bosses planned to use his break from playing to put his leadership abilities to the test. He found himself mentoring the teams' junior members and combing over footage of previous match-ups to come up with new gameplay strategies.

He knew the break was necessary to sell the story they’d told the news outlets, and Doc Leonard was sure that the rest would help his carpel tunnel, but he’d expected to be bored silly. He was therefore surprised when he actually enjoyed the work. It was satisfying to help others improve, and the way the team jumped whole-heartedly into using his new game tactics made him feel great about his strategic and high-level planning skills.

Luigi’s usefulness as an advisor wasn’t limited to tactics. He also shared all the best tricks he’d found to combat his condition using keyboard shortcuts and his advanced mousing hardware. It took the others time to master, but spending less time clicking around sped the whole team up.

That sudden change to a faster play style led to a decisive victory against one of their biggest competitors and earned Luigi a promotion.

The same HR rep who processed that paperwork also dropped the news that he was cleared to hire more staff for his other project. The Sims Forever community was positively abuzz at the prospect of a new life simulation game, and they wanted to show progress as soon as possible.

Meanwhile, Noemi continued to struggle at work, despite her win with Luigi’s project. She still just couldn’t seem to connect with her other clients.

After a particularly productive session with Dr. Valasquez, she began to understand that her lack of charisma might not be the only reason she was having problems at work. When she allowed herself to be honest and look past what was expected of her Noemi realized she was bored.

She didn’t want to spend all day hunting for and guiding new talent, she wanted to be hands on. DOING the work was the fun part for her!

When Luigi came home excited to share his good news, he found Noemi in their home office, struggling with both a headache and her latest side gig.

“How has Plumbook gone this long without a real employee password policy!?” she groused as he settled down beside her “No wonder they keep getting hacked! Getting everyone on board is a nightmare, and my head feels like I’ve been beating it against a real wall, not just lazy users.”

“You’ve been getting a lot of headaches lately,” Luigi observed carefully. “Is everything OK? Maybe you should see the doctor.”

“I’ve seen her!” she replied, “this is just a known side effect of the meds I need to function in the office, so I’m just going to have to deal with it.”

“Still struggling with your clients?” Luigi asked. At her affirmative nod he added, “You know you don’t have to stay at Rainy Day if you’re miserable.”

Noemi shook her head. “Freelance programming is more hands on but doing it full time would mean bigger projects and more client meetings. It would be the same if I switched to working at Kenzie’s robotics company. At least Rainy Day takes a lot of the meetings and paperwork off my hands.”

She flashed her fiancée a grin. “And I get to work with you, which is always the best part of my day! Oh, if only every customer was so cute!”

After a quick snack break to let the pain meds she’d taken kick in Noemi returned to her side job while Luigi went over the resumes of the artists, managers, and programmers Patricia was sending him to rush assemble a concept version of the new videogame they’d nicknamed ��Project Daisy”.

He wasn’t terribly impressed with the quality of the sims they’d found so far. He turned to share a particularly sloppy cover letter with Noemi and paused. She had that driven look she got when she was in the “zone”: her fingers flying expertly as she typed and referenced a complex spec.

He sighed. Who would he have to sleep with at Rainy Day to get access to a great recruit like Noemi? He blinked. “Hey, wait a minute!”

Back at HQ the next morning the pair presented a unified front as they told Patricia that they wanted to transfer Noemi to Project Daisy full time.

“This is highly unusual,” she told them “and it isn’t a pathway to promotion for you, Noemi, even if you managed the team instead of programming.”

Noemi couldn’t care less about a promotion that would just mean more of the work she hated. “I’m OK with that” she said, suppressing a big smile.

They left the meeting with Noemi’s boss in great spirits. She was totally happy about her job prospects for the first time in a long time.

The best thing about working on Project Daisy was that she knew she wouldn’t need the pills that had been making her feel so awful, and she dragged Luigi out back to toss them out immediately. Eyeing the quite spacious and semi-private dumpster, she gave her fiancée a wicked look.

“Oh my grim! No. Porcupine!” he cried “Honey, I love you more than life itself, but I am never, EVER, getting intimate in a DUMPSTER!”

Noemi laughed, stepping away from the offensive bin to give him a suggestive kiss. “Fine, but let’s hurry home. Somebody owes me a signing bonus.”

I found out that Noemi’s Autism essentially prevents her from raising her charisma skill. Its barely at 2 and she would need 4 for her next promotion.

She’s already level 8 in the tech guru career. I don’t need her to advance further, and I hate the side effects from her meds, so I decided to go this direction with her story.

I also learned that squeamish sims won’t woohoo in a dumpster – totally makes sense but who knew!?

View The Full Story of My Not So Berry Challenge Here

[elliemarchetti]

The Queen of the Quills - Jily Edition (part 4)

Posting on Tumblr too because this fic's sister is already there.

Reading The Queen of the Quills - Blackinnon Edition will not be mandatory to understand the developments of James and Lily's story, but some details could be shared, therefore, for anyone wishing to fully enjoy the experience, I will leave a small index.

Blackinnon Edition - Chapter 1

Blackinnon Edition - Chapter 2

Jily Edition - Chapter 1

Blackinnon Edition - Chapter 3

Jily Edition - Chapter 2

Jily Edition - Chapter 3

This was @athenasparrow's gift for @jilymicrofics ' Exchange 2024, but if you like it and are willingly to reblog, it would be super appreciated since stories like this require quite some time and effort��

Taglist (if anyone wants to be added, please DM me or comment and I'll gladly add you!): @thaisthedreamer

Plot: James Potter, London's most evasive bachelor, an impertinent libertine, has decided to get married. He has also already chosen his wife, the debutante Lily Evans, a self-confident young woman who has not the slightest intention of being seduced by such a man. A Bridgerton inspired Regency AU.

By the evening, it had become apparent that Lily hadn’t come through her, albeit brief, bath in the Serpentine unscathed: her nose turned red, her eyes began to water and it was apparent to anyone who glimpsed her puffy face for even a second that, while not seriously ill, she’d caught a bad cold. But even while she was tucked in bed with a hot water bottle between her feet and a therapeutic potion brewed up by the cook in a mug on her bedside table, Petunia was determined to have a conversation with her.

“What did he say to you on the ride home?” she demanded, perching on the edge of her sister’s bed.

“Who?” Lily replied, sniffing fearfully at the remedy.

“Mr. Potter,” Petunia ground out. “Who else would have spoken to you on the ride home when he was the one who rescued you and asked a stranger for their curricle?”

“Just the usual sort of things,” she responded, vague as always. “You know what I mean. Polite conversation and all that.”

“He made polite conversation while you were both dripping wet?” Petunia insisted, doubtful.

“He asked for my welfare, of course, which was only reasonable, considering I had just been dunked in the Serpentine, which, I might add, was perfectly wretched. Aside from being cold, the water was most certainly not clean,” Lily shrugged, clearly not as interested in the conversation as her sister.

Petunia cleared her throat and sat back down, preparing to ask a most scandalous question, but one which, in her opinion, simply had to be asked.

“Did he make any untoward advances?” she inquired, trying to keep her voice devoid of the complete and total fascination that was coursing through her veins.

Lily lurched back, her eyes growing round with shock.

“Of course not!” she exclaimed. “He was a perfect gentleman. Really, I don’t see what has you so excited. It wasn’t a very interesting conversation; I can’t even remember half of what was said.”

This, Petunia knew, was a complete lie, like all the veiled compliments she was paying to the wizard who until a few hours earlier she hated with all her heart. Why she behaved this way, however, was beyond her. Had she perhaps changed her mind about him? Hard to believe, when her sister was so stubborn. So, something must’ve happened, something if not scandalous at least romantic, that type of interaction fate seemed to have decided to forbid to Petunia. So, after a few moments of peaceful silence, she decided to investigate to find out if Mr. Potter had said anything about her, but Lily shook her head.

“He had a lot to say about his dog, though,” she added, as if it might make her feel better, but Petunia’s lips parted with dismay. It was never flattering to be passed over for a dog.

“I assured him I bear no ill will toward Padfoot, and that I wasn’t at all angry with him, but he was rather charmingly upset on my behalf. You, on the other hand, are rather interested in him,” Lily pointed out before grabbing a handkerchief and blowing her nose unceremoniously.

“I had the pleasure of spending a while conversing with him,” Petunia replied, as if that ought to explain everything.

“Good, then you’ve had the chance to see how utterly unremarkable he is,” sniffled Lily, fumbling around for a fresh handkerchief. “I’m afraid London’s society had been blinded by his wealth and gave him a position he’s not really deserving of. Sure, he’s rich, but I don’t think one can choose a husband based entirely on finances.”

“Well…” Petunia hedged, knowing her sister was absolutely correct but not wanting to say anything that might be construed as disapproval for Mr. Potter. “I still think we should add him to our list.”

“Our list?” Lily echoed, her voice strangled.

“Of possible matches,” explained Petunia, trying to ignore the expression on her sister’s face.

She knew what Lily thought of her: since she wasn’t a witch, she would never find a husband who was part of the wizarding society, and since she had never been invited to any of their parties – but Petunia told herself this was only dictated by a respect for the law and not from the disinterest of the magical community in her regards – she had no chance of getting the attention of even the least gifted of them. It hurt her to know that her sister had so little consideration of her, but even more so that she didn’t actively apply herself to not be separated again by those abilities Petunia hadn’t been granted. When they were little, and that cursed letter from Hogwarts hadn’t driven a wedge between them, they were inseparable: the minimal age difference, the same interests and their complementary characters had created an unforgettable dynamic duo, for which everyone showered their mother with compliments, even though she had failed to produce a male heir before her husband’s death. Then an owl had arrived, a not so strange occurrence in their country house, but instead of waiting for the night it had flown onto the windowsill of one of their living room windows in broad daylight and started pecking so hard at the glass that Petunia feared it might break. As soon as it saw the butler approaching, he left the letter he was holding with his talons and came back to where it came from, taking with him the bond between her and Lily. Petunia knew she had been wrong for indulging in the jealous outbursts she’d made early on, but then she’d tried to make amends, to ignore the bitter taste of bile that rose in her throat every time her parents praised her sister on a school result or some oddity she managed to achieve to simplify life at home in a way not even a crowd of maids would’ve been able to. Once she came of age, she had accepted that, although she was the eldest, she was second to Lily in everything else, but she didn’t care, her only goal that to get back the affection of the one who had always been her best, and probably only, friend. But despite her commitment, despite the interest she showed in a world that considered her rubbish, Lily had now built a wall Petunia didn’t know how to get around, and it did nothing but make her furious.

“I though you wanted a scholar,” the younger pointed out.

“I did,” confirmed the oldest. “I still do, but since the likelihood of finding a true scholar here are minimal, I think I can settle on Mr. Potter. He seems intelligent enough, so you’ll just have to devise a way to discover if he likes to read.”

“I’d be surprised if he could,” Lily muttered, making her laugh, the cheerful sound coming to a halt when a low rumble of distant thunder reverberated in the night and her sister flinched. She usually was all right when the storm was far away, but when it was closer, she looked like she was about to burst from her skin.

“Petunia,” she said, apparently needing to have this discussion with her but also to say something that would take her mind off the approaching tempest. “You must put him from your mind. He’s absolutely not the sort of husband who would make you happy, and aside from the fact he is the worst sort of rake and would probably flaunt a dozen mistresses in your face, haven’t you read The Queen of the Quills? Or listened to anything any of the other young ladies’ mothers have to say? The ones who have been on the social circuit for several years and know what’s what, all say his only saving grace is how nicely he treats his mother.”

“Well, that would be a mark in his favour,” Petunia asserted. “Since a mother is family and a wife is too.”

“A wife isn’t the same as a blood relative,” groaned Lily. “Men who would never dream of uttering a cross word in front of their mothers trample all over other women’s feelings every day.”

“And how would you know this?” Petunia demanded, causing a shocked reaction in Lily. In truth, she couldn’t remember the last time she had questioned her judgment on an important matter, and unfortunately for her sister, the only answer she could think of on such short notice was an unsatisfactory “I just do” that didn’t pass the muster.

“Aside from all that,” she resumed, in a placating voice, deciding to steer the topic in a different direction. “I don’t think you would even like Mr. Potter if you got to know him.”

“He seemed pleasant enough when I met him,” she maintained.

“But he was on his best behaviour!” Lily persisted. “Of course he’d seem nice, he wants my family to like him but it was all an act! Between last night and this afternoon, I spent several hours in his company, and I can assure you, he wasn’t on his best behaviour with me.”

Petunia gasped with horror and maybe a little titillation.

“Did he kiss you?” she breathed.

“Of course not!” Lily howled. “Where on earth would you get that idea?”

“You said he wasn’t on his best behaviour,” rejoined, innocently, Petunia.

“What I meant,” Lily ground out, “what that he wasn’t polite, nor very nice. In fact, he was insufferably arrogant and dreadfully rude and insulting.”

“That’s interesting,” Petunia murmured. “Very odd indeed. One would think he’d go out of his way to be nice to you first, since he’s you he wants to marry. Why behave the churl?”

“He said he couldn’t help himself,” she retorted, her face coloured a dull red, not so noticeable in the candlelight and mixed with the redness already present because of her cold, but still a different, embarrassed shade.

Petunia’s mouth fell open, and for one second she sat utterly frozen, as if suspended in time. Then, she dropped onto a pillow, hooting with laughter.

“That’s splendid!” she gasped. “It might be the funniest thing I’ve heard all month, maybe all year!”

“There’s no need to dwell on it,” Lily grumbled,

“He might be the very first gentleman you haven’t been able to manage,” Petunia went on, ignoring her sister’s pleas. “And although you say he’s rather unremarkable, I bet my best dress you’ll be married by the end of the year!”

_____________________________

Early the following week, after he and Sirius had amicably sparred, made peace over a glass of Firewhisky, and the bruises had faded into faint greenish marks, Mrs. Potter announced her intent to host a musicale. The organization of these events was not as tiring and expensive as that of a ball, and the space required was undoubtedly smaller, but it was still necessary to take care of sending the invitations, carefully selecting the audience, and distributing the seats adequately, so that no stupid arguments would break out between families who didn't see eye to eye. Of course, the front row would be occupied by the homeowners, their esteemed guest, and the McKinnon family, but the seats behind them were yet to be filled.

“I think Mrs. Evans would appreciate our invitation,” Euphemia said, not even looking up from the list she was making in her elegant handwriting.

“You should invite her eldest too, maybe together the sisters will be less uncomfortable among us Londoners,” Sirius added, trying to hide the sadistic smile spreading across his face. James glared at him, but made no comment, determined not to let his mother know how much his courtship of Lily was proving to be a fiasco.

“What a wonderful idea!” Euphemia exclaimed, adding a + 2 next to Mrs. Evan’s name. “I just hope the youngest has overcome the nasty cold she got last week. Gossip says she slipped in the Serpentine while trying to escape from a crazed beast. Do you think it was a Blast-Ended Skrewt? I heard some have been sighted near Rotten Row…”

“Probably,” James replied, feigning disinterest, while Sirius barely managed to hid a chuckle with a cough. He was the cause of Miss Evans’ fall into the Serpentine, and he claimed he did it for James’ sake, who had looked like a true romantic hero as he took off his jacket to jump into the water and help her back to shore. How The Queen of the Quills wasn’t aware of the matter, and hadn’t mentioned it in her damned columns, was a mystery for which James found himself immeasurably grateful.

“We should send her some flowers,” his mother went on, scanning the room as if hoping to find a bouquet there.

“I’m afraid they wouldn’t make a welcome gift,” James found himself saying, before he could bite his tongue. Receiving a grim look from his parent, he was forced to add that she was allergic, a detail he wouldn’t have been aware of if he hadn’t been at their house.

“We talked about it when we danced together last week,” he concluded, when the silence stretched long enough for him to understand that the day’s occupation wouldn’t continue until he provided an explanation to his knowledge.

“I’m sure she’d appreciate a thought from you, though,” Sirius interjected. “Maybe a book. I know she loves to read.”

And so, James found himself practically forced to retrace the road to the Evans residence, this time without any flowers but equipped with three invitations to his mother's musicale and a novel he knew was very popular among young witches of his future wife's age. Because despite the embarrassment, despite having acted like a fool and almost let the temptation to kiss her take over while he was fixing her bonnet, he still intended to marry her. After all, even while drenched and dirty, her skin possessed a flickering glow that make his muscle tighten at his inability to touch it freely, and although she might be too bossy and too quick to jump to conclusions, her eyes reminded him of the walks he used to take with his father, and her mouth, which vexed him to no end with its endless stream of insults and opinions, delivered the most perfect laugh.

James shuddered when he reached the front door, already familiar. He had dreamed about this moment, but in his sleep he was furious with her for whatever reason, and it wasn’t the butler who opened the door, but Lily herself, and there was no need to make polite conversation with her mother, to get out mindless words that tipped from his tongue as if by rote, because she was the one standing in front of him, a blessing indeed, since his mind was most definitely set on kissing her out of her mind. Oh, if she had known what he did to her with his imagination, she would’ve never agreed to marry him, but the Lily of his dreams was much more even-tempered than the real her, and although she still made his blood rush, and they spent enjoyable time together, he was able to not fall in love with her. The fake Lily he constructed in his head was exactly what he needed, but he was sure the one sitting on her bed in the company of her sister, hair let down and cheeks flush, would make him sweat and slide into mindless temptation given the chance.

“Why are you here?” she asked, trying to appear much tougher than she actually was.

“To apologize again for what happened,” he muttered, triggering a fit of giggles from Petunia. “And to bring this to you, to cheer your healing process.”

Guarded, Lily reached across the bed to take the book handed to her, giving him a glimpse of what she usually hid with her chaste dresses. Whatever thanks he had received, whatever words had been said in the room, never reached his ears, which began to ring dully with lust.

“And the envelopes you’re holding in you hand?” Petunia asked, her voice too high-pitched to ignore after a few moments.

“They’re your tickets for the musicale my mother is hosting on Friday night,” he replied, and although Lily didn’t seem the least bit interested, her nose already buried in the book she’d just received, Petunia’s eyes lit up.

“Don’t pay attention to my sister, giving her a book is the only way to shut her up,” the eldest joked. “But we are both grateful for the invitations, and you can already tell your mother we will be honoured to be present.”

“See you on Friday, then,” said James, as a farewell, with a little bow.

“Thank you, Mr. Potter,” he thought he heard Lily murmur once the door was closed behind him, but it could only be a figment of his imagination, so he tried not to put too much weight on the softness in her tone. Their next meeting would be the decisive one, the one that would allow him to court her in style and marry her by the end of the year, but for now, he had to settle for crumbs and cold courtesies.

[jeongyunhoed]

As seen on my FF.net

Following the events of fifth year, a new adventure awaits for Norah Lee. Boys, exams, school events, common room parties, and old foes outside of Hogwarts. Even battling pensieve guardians was easier than this.

Main Pair: OC/? Genre: Adventure/Angst/Fluff (it's a little of everything, tbh)

KEEP IN MIND: Characters are aged up (even if the story's got them in sixth year) to make it more appropriate. Time period is leaning towards the modern day so in case you might find anachronisms in the dialogue or references, this is why. This may also be quite a lengthy fic too.

BE WARNED: Social anxiety, mentions of blood and injury, grief, drinking, kissing but nothing more than that, death (this is Hogwarts Legacy, after all)

P.P.S: Sorry in advance for any mischaracterization and other mistakes. Tag list is open if you would like to follow this story on here. Reblogs are much appreciated.

Masterlist

Chapter 2

"Welcome to NEWT-level Charms, everyone!" Professor Ronen's cheerful voice resonated in the classroom the next day. His greeting was met with low grumbles from the students. Norah, who shared the class with Natty and Ominis, looked on nervously. Professor Ronen chuckled. "I know, I know, the exams for this level is going to be dreadful, but fortunately you have me as your teacher and I will try to keep it as fun and as engaging as possible. Who knows, I would've already tested you without you knowing it."

Earlier, before they went off to their classes, Norah made sure to tell Natty, Poppy, and Amit about what she planned to show them. But not without another passing comment from Imelda about the tryout schedules for the team. Thankfully, a crowd of first and second years were already lining up to take part in the tryouts. Norah knew it should keep Imelda preoccupied for the entire time she tested everyone who wanted to join the team.

"If you were not informed about this before, your NEWT exam for this subject will have both a practical and written portion. Therefore it is imperative that you understand the spells I will discuss and teach you. Not a lot of us are able to put these spells into practice outside Hogwarts, so this is the next best thing," Professor Ronen eyed Norah as he said it. "Please pay attention."

Norah glanced at Ominis, who had already begun jotting down Professor Ronen's explanations that were being written behind him. The quill in front of him hastily taking down everything he was saying. It prompted her to do the same, opening her almost battered journal that served as her field guide for the past year. In time, she'd probably need a new ledger, or at least several thick rolls of parchment.

"You do know he was also talking about the two of you, right?" Norah whispered to the blonde boy sitting next to her. Natty, who was sitting closer to her fellow Gryffindors, gave them a knowing look in which they returned with nods. Ominis had been tilting his head in her direction whenever Professor Ronen hinted at it.

"Shut it, Lee, you did more than what I could do," Ominis replied, but Norah could tell he was trying to suppress a laugh. "You got cursed on my behalf, for god's sake."

Norah shook her head. "Don't be so modest, Gaunt. You still helped. Much like how Professor Ronen himself also helped."

Ominis shrugged in defeat, and Norah could tell he was still quite shaken about their search for the scriptorium. A dark cloud remained over his family name, at least he and many others thought so, because of their continued belief in pureblood supremacy. Norah understood how hard it was and still is for him to continue straying from his family's ideals. She remembered the times she'd catch him standing by the window, looking rather wistful while clutching a letter from his parents. He would later reveal to her that his parents weren't too happy about him befriending blood-traitors like her.

Norah took down notes in whatever space was left on the page of her field guide. She suddenly remembered the conversation she and Sebastian had the night before, about Ominis. "...How's Anne?" She muttered to the blonde.

"Hmm?" He hummed.

"Anne...You wrote to her last night, didn't you?" She asked. "How is she? I haven't heard from Sebastian about her."

Norah sensed that the mention of the Sallow girl's name laid a pink tinge on his pale cheeks. "She's alright. She sends regards to you, wondering what's going on with you and Sebastian," He glanced at her direction.

"What do you mean? She lives with Sebastian, doesn't she? Don't you?" Norah raised a brow.

Ominis' lips formed a smirk. "Never mind then," he said, sitting back.

Norah smiled to herself as she continued to take down notes. "How far the two of us have come in one year," She muttered. "You weren't so sure about me when we first met, look at us now."

Even if Ominis didn't say anything, she knew he felt the same. That or he was already thinking about what she was going to show them later.

By the time classes were dismissed for lunch, Norah was determined as ever to bring them to the place she promised she'd show them. But not before she found herself getting pulled in opposite directions by Lucan Brattleby, who led the duelling club Crossed Wands, and by Grace Pinch-Smedley and Leander Prewett, who were both good at Summoner's Court. Since becoming champion in both areas, they all wanted Norah to take part in the upcoming games and matches.

"Norah Lee! The Hero of Hogwarts, care to join in this year's Crossed Wands? I have a feeling it's going to be great again this year," Lucan asked, a proud grin on his face as he approached their table.

Norah turned to Ominis and Sebastian, who were both snickering. "I don't know, Lucan, Professor Ronen's Charms lesson this morning kind of wore me out, I didn't realize we needed to study this much for the subject" She said with a sigh.

That didn't change the pride in the Gryffindor male's expression. "That's exactly why you should come. At least watch the new duellists! I'm sure they'll be motivated if they see you there," He said.

"Lucan drives a hard bargain," Leander grinned, having also been part of Crossed Wands. "But are you sure you'd want the hero of Hogwarts to join in? She might send them all into the hospital wing if they tried to duel her. She might even scare people away from joining, if those rumors about facing Ashwinders are true."

"If that's your way to convincing me to take part in Summoner's Court instead this year, you're not doing a very good job," Norah laughed, nudging the red-headed male. "Besides, if both of these need new champions, I will happily relinquish my title this year. Professor Ronen's the strongest Summoner's Court player, and Sebastian over here's more known in this school as a good duellist. He's my first duelling opponent if you need more reassuring."

"But you're the first student to beat Professor Ronen, I hear," Ominis suddenly chimed in, and Norah frowned. "Wouldn't that make you the strongest player?"

"Professor Ronen has seniority," Norah pointed out. "He's been playing Summoner's Court for much longer. It's his game. If you force me to play that, I will purposely give up and that would be worse."

That didn't waver the three of them one bit, with Lucan already seating himself next to Sebastian while Leander joined Grace. Norah sighed as she finished her serving of mashed potatoes and sausages. She also needed to stop by her vivariums to check on the beasts that were staying there under Deek's care.

"If you're not playing, at least stop by and watch, hmm? Eric Northcott's betting chocolate frogs and pumpkin pasties if you'd rather do that," Lucan suggested, looking as hopeful as ever.

Norah looked over at him, an exasperated sigh escaping her lips. "Alright, I'll drop by, but I can't promise I'll stay until the end. I've got a lot of things to do."

Lucan cheered, helping himself to a chicken wing before leaving their table to return to his house. Ominis, who was sitting next to Norah, tilted his head toward her. "You know, he's not wrong, neither is Leander," He said. "Wouldn't hurt to check how good people are in Crossed Wands this year, wouldn't it?"

Sebastian raised a brow at his best friend's uncharacteristically optimistic tone. "If you don't go and watch, I'll have to go and watch, Natty too. They'll make either of us or both of us join. At least come and support me," He grinned.

Norah knew he had a point. She suddenly got up after taking a last drink of pumpkin juice. "Since both of you are done, let's go!" She looked over at the three other house tables for a sign of their three other friends, gesturing them to the door. Seeing how Leander and Grace had eventually gotten absorbed in their own conversation, they quietly left the Great Hall, Ominis quickly brandishing his wand to be able to follow them.

The Map Chamber was hidden underground, in the caverns below the castle. With its elaborately decorated path and doorways that led to one big space that had somewhat of a view of the caverns. At the same time, four giant portraits, now vacant, made up the four panels that the chamber was designed to face. Since the defeat of Ranrok and after Professor Fig's memorial, Norah found herself going back to the empty chamber every now and then.

It might have been out of grief, out of wanting to think that maybe he hadn't died, that he was just waiting for her there. Or, he might've gone away on official ministry business on behalf of Professor Black again. Norah wanted to believe those things, but she couldn't bring her mind to it.

If anything, Norah didn't have any business coming back to the chamber every so often since then. She had done her job, the duty she inherited. It's all over now, and she could go back to her studies. But she missed the adventure, missed the thrill of investigating and snooping around, missed actively doing some good. This was like going through a withdrawal period from an addiction.

As she had expected, all of them, save for Ominis, were amazed at the size and scale of the chamber they were in. All the more so when she revealed how she was able to enter the caverns and faced off with Ranrok and the goblins. It had only occurred to her that she hadn't told them how everything took place.

"You, my friend, are blessed with quite a gift," Natty said as they gathered in the middle of the chamber. "To be able to come here and do all these things and ultimately choosing to make sure that those who have the gift can learn about it too, making sure that it isn't to be feared. It's to be learned about."

"This is quite big, We can safely practice some of our lessons here. Do you think we can turn this place into our study room?" Poppy looked up at the high ceiling.

"I probably wouldn't try that," Ominis cautioned, evidently sensing just how large the room was from what his wand was picking up. "If those portraits reappear, we'll be in trouble from them."

"That might happen, yeah," Norah frowned at the thought. "But I made my choice in opening that up. Like what Natty said, this type of magic isn't something to be feared. I have my work cut out for me, it seems."

Amit approached what looked like the high windows that had the view of the caverns. "Ominis might be right about that. This seems too sacred a place for us to just come in and use," He said, looking apologetic. "Besides, we're underground, there's no place for us to look at the stars like those tables we were going to find."

Sebastian shrugged, evidently agreeing with what Ominis had said. "Alright then, where do we get to study aside from the library? Madam Scribner's already got it in for me there," He frowned as they proceeded to leave the chamber. "It's a lot quieter in the restricted section, though."

Another hour of classes later and Norah chose to spend her free period in her vivariums. Walking into each one felt like stepping inside another world, free of any obligation, of any burden that she suddenly realized was on her shoulders. She made sure that they knew where to find her if they needed anything, so as not to shift any more elements in the room in case they came looking.

"Hello Highwing," She smiled upon seeing the majestic white hippogriff that bore the name. Highwing approached her and Norah gently leaned in for a hug. "Oh, I've missed you, I'm sorry I couldn't fly you for a while but that'll change this year, I know it," She whispered upon pulling away to brush her feathers.

When she entered the swampy vivarium, she was immediately greeted by the Lord of the Shore himself. He had one of the diricrawl babies on his back. "Your lordship, I have arrived," Norah grinned, brushing the graphorn's skin and feeding him, which he enjoyed. "I didn't doubt Deek when he told me you've been playing with the rest of the beasts," She said.

The house-elf himself, Deek, came inside to join her. "How has Miss been? Deek thinks the beasts have missed you as you have them," He said wisely.

Norah bent down to greet him again. "And I missed Deek too," She said with a smile. "They weren't too much for you yet?"

Deek shook his head. "Deek's managed to make sure they're fed and groomed just fine," He replied. "The offsprings have grown quite a bit since Miss last saw them."

"They have, yes," She said. "Thank you for checking in on them while I was away, I really can't thank you enough for that."

"Deek loves spending time with the beasts, Miss," He beamed, immediately sweeping away some of the tumbleweeds and leaves from the vivarium that housed Ruby.

Norah peeked inside the vivarium with the phoenix, seeing for herself how much the other hippogriffs have grown. "I might have to release them when they've fully grown up. It's getting a little crowded," She said with a slight frown. "But what if they don't like being out in the real world? The poachers are still out there..."

Deek only smiled as he listened to the young woman. Norah looked down for a moment, figuring that those things will be dealt with another time. She stepped inside, seeing all the colorful fwoopers flying in the sky before landing in front of her. "All of you have really grown," She said, brushing their feathers.

"Has Miss been alright? Deek knows it's only been a year since your mentor was killed," The house elf suddenly appeared near her.

Norah nodded. "I must admit, I'm beginning to miss going off on random requests out of Hogwarts. But Professor Weasley told me it should be easier for me to stay in now. I've got exams ahead, and lessons are turning out to be a lot."

She stepped out of the vivarium again, slipping on dragonhide gloves to harvest some matured chomping cabbages and venomous tentaculas. Norah figured the mandrakes she had in pots could wait a little while, mostly out of not wanting to put on a pair of earmuffs for now.

"What about your friends?" Deek asked.

She hummed. "Well, them too. I could never have succeeded without their help. They've all taught me things that were useful when I faced those goblins and Ranrok," She said, taking the gloves off and putting them to the side. "We'll be going on a hunt for astronomy tables soon, whenever we get to go out," Norah remembered. That still counted as an adventure, she thought.

They suddenly heard a commotion coming from the doors of the room. Norah and Deek ran out, climbing down the stairs to see who was coming, or trying to come in.

It was Natty and Poppy, both of them looking concerned. "Norah!" They called out when they saw her. "Norah!"

"What? What's going on?" She asked.

Poppy held up the page of the Daily Prophet. The enchanted mug shot of the infamous poacher was laughing maniacally in between flashes of cameras.

Harlow Escapes from Azkaban

"It can't be-how can that happen?! We got rid of him!" Natty looked worried. "What is he going to do?"

Poppy frowned. "If anything, he might try and come after you. You said if Natty didn't jump in, you would've been tortured, or at least killed."

"You think he's going to try and finish me off for taking his business apart?" Norah asked, and the two girls nodded. "And some of those poachers are on the run too..."

They nodded again, studying her expression. It was at that time that Amit, Sebastian, and Ominis also came in. The three males also found out of the news. When they stopped in front of her, Sebastian raised a brow. "Planning on getting to him first, aren't you?" He said.

Norah glanced at him. "If he wants me, he'll get me. I'm not afraid," She shook her head.

"Looks like the Hogwarts heroine isn't done quite yet," Amit chuckled. "But we're still looking for those tables, right?"

[animalinvestigator]

HI if u dont mind here is my regularly scheduled petscop question to u, resident petscop interpretation haver and mutual :-) ! i saw on ur bingo thing u said smth to the effect of lina doing some big mess ups depending on how u interpret stuff, and i was wondering if u wanna elaborate on that? apologies if its a fairly obvious (as much as petscop can be lol) thing i have shit memory disease <3

Hello damien!! Yes this is an interesting topic. It's not really obvious or textual (Not much about lina is) And it relies on a number of assumptions that i have to list before i can say much about how i feel about lina's morality as a character. When I talk about this, I'm assuming the following

Lina leskowitz is not LITERALLY dead and the "death" rainer is describing in relation to her concerns trauma or estrangement, allowing her to be a real force present in the real world of the story

Paul is care

Lina adopted Paul

Obviously these things can be argued -- you could make compelling points towards Lina being literally no longer present in the story whatsoever and rather representing a state of escape or safety, in which case this point is completely null and void yay.

But if we're operating under those assumptions, this also means that 1. Lina was aware of the circumstances of paul's childhood and 2. For whatever reason she failed to tell him. That's what i'm talking about when i say things about lina not being a perfect safe haven , because that action kind of snowballs out into the entire conflict of the series.

And like, i feel strongly about this being a thing that i point out about lina because, in petscop broader, one of the most pervasive means of control enacted upon the characters is control of information. Information is withheld from belle -> she continues throwing herself at danger repeatedly for an indefinite amount of time to retrieve it, information is warped for care -> that warped information is used to abuse her and effectively "displace" her from reality, information is withheld from paul -> he is unaware of his family's ulterior motives and his own past and therefore ends up in the same traumatizing situation from his childhood even though had he known in advance it could likely have been circumvented. in petscop information is a form of power over others, perspective is a form of power over others.

Its a pretty clear pattern throughout the series, and even though Lina is pretty obviously the least malicious adult in paul and belle's lives, even she, in a way, contributes to that, and its felt in the way that he literally does not know what is going on with his family. Belle contributes to this too since she knew about the danger of the game and failed to tell him (or even actively encouraged him to get involved but tahts another essay) -- even the 'safest' people around paul, no matter their motive, contribute somewhat to the recursion of the 1977 1997 2017 loop, which is a lot to me. i appreciate that no one in the story ever really "does the right thing" to the fullest -- even the character that represents release from control, detatchment, and escape is exerting a kind of control herself.

so thats what i mean i hope it makes sense!!! it's also possible that some other like semantic things occurred where like she did tell paul and he forgor or some shit equivalent, but i think its pretty fair to assume that the circumstance i described is the simplest and most plausible way to look at it so i stand by it. Hope it helps you understand what i meant ^_^

[shihalyfie]

“The 02 characters didn’t get any character development”

Yes, they did.

“But -- “

Yes, they did.

Having had the gift of having rewatched 02 recently, I have to say that it still really, really confuses me how the hell people get this impression. It’s not even “I’m trying to see the best out of this” but that I genuinely do not get it, because as far as I’m able to see it’s pretty much literally right there!! This isn’t even tinfoil hat tier!

But in case you have any doubts, sit down because Shiha’s gonna sit here and write a meta about the 02 kids, and how they are perfectly reasonable characters that developed properly fine over the course of the series.

(All below translations of 02 dialogue are by PositronCannon.)

So the first thing to understand about 02 is that it is fundamentally made with a very different writing approach from Adventure in the first place, and therefore it is not meant to be compared in a one-to-one fashion.

This is a point I’ve said many times over and over, and I think it’s to the point where it shouldn’t even really need official clarification, but I’m just going to go ahead and bring up the words from Director Kakudou himself:

For instance, we had the prior series stick out in terms of its points about “what it means to be oneself”, and for 02 we made it so that you would pay attention to “the relationship between yourself and other people”.

Right, so: 02, by design, does not use Adventure’s character development methodology of “self-awareness”. It is built from the ground up by having its characters and character development predicated on relationships instead of singular characters. This might seem a bit odd on its face, but no man is an island, and, in fact, changing the way you interact with other people and with the world in general does speak a lot about one’s personal growth in its own way. And this also means that if you try to analyze 02 by holding it to Adventure-based standards of “character focus episodes” or the like, you’re already on a losing battle.

This means that character growth in 02 is not presented in a way where it’s up-front and center, but rather something you have to glean over the natural course of the series. We’re working off relationships, so you have to actually pay attention to the natural interactions between the characters or what they say even during “off-hours” -- the focus-episode format used by Adventure doesn’t apply here anymore. And it’s something apparent enough from how “evolution” is a metaphor for “personal growth” in this franchise -- in Adventure it was via the Crests, which meant self-awareness, but 02′s key evolutionary trump card is Jogress, which relies on the strength of relationships.

One thing I have to say in terms of my experience as a 02 fan is that I’ve found I actually appreciated it significantly more as an adult than I did as a kid, and that, in general, a lot of the things to appreciate about 02 are things that you really viscerally feel and understand when you’ve gotten that degree of life experience under your belt. Unfortunately, this is kind of a double-edged sword, too, because it ends up becoming the kind of series that often risks going over the heads of the very audience of children it was supposed to be targeting. It’s got a lot of very nuanced depictions of mental health and the childhood experience that are maddeningly subtle, to the point of possibly going over one’s head or even coming off as illogical without sufficient life experience, or simply just not being as visceral (the entire theme of “parents stroking their own ego with their kids’ achievements” hits the hardest when you’re college age).

So what this means is that 02 doesn’t exactly hand its themes or character development to you on a plate. But it is there, once you actually start looking for it.

Let’s start off by talking about our main core cast of characters. Adventure and 02 prided themselves on the fact that they tried very hard to not be adherent to anime tropes, but rather to portray well-rounded, nuanced characters that felt more like actual kids you might meet at school. So how does the 02 cast fare in not being pigeonholed anime tropes?

Daisuke: Even though official freely admits he has “the most anime-like personality”, it’s hard to say he actually falls that much into the generic shounen archetype. For one, he’s actually shockingly humble and polite in certain situations (he’s consistently polite with his elders, and is very quick to admit his own limitations). Actually, he comes off as a surprisingly friendly and deferential person -- it’s just that he happens to have somewhat of an abrasive exterior, and even then it’s implied heavily in the first half that this stems from a lack of validation and purpose. (He actually “deflates” really easily, so you can’t even say he’s all that arrogant past the surface.) Certainly he’s simple-minded, and kind of an idiot, but his abrasive exterior is actually pretty deceptive.

Miyako: Miyako floats an interesting duality of simultaneously being aggressively feminine and being aggressively un-feminine -- not necessarily in the sense she tries not to be feminine (on the contrary, she absolutely embraces it), but more that she’s also an aggressive, “inelegant” mess in ways atypical for a lead heroine in a shounen show, who are usually either cute or “badass action girls” and not...a mess. Despite that, she is also consistently portrayed as capable of heavy emotional depth and being very genuinely kind and concerned about others, which are not in any way diminished by the fact she happens to be an aggressive mess with a severe case of foot-in-mouth syndrome. It’s an interesting mix of character traits that you don’t see often.

Iori: “Designated young characters” usually fall into the “cute” archetype a la Adventure!Takeru or Tomoki, so it’s interesting that the youngest one is actually the most mature one, and impeccably polite at that (having been raised by a family that emphasizes formal manners and propriety). Even more interestingly, nobody actually treats him like he’s that much younger, and he’s given the weight of respect in a sense that has nothing to do with his age (think about how there are indeed quite a few kids who simply just get along better with older kids). Yet the series doesn’t shy away from his youth, and his overly black-and-white view of morality is portrayed as immaturity in its own way, along with the occasional “slips” in his facade or manners indicating that it’s still something he has to consciously focus on.

Ken: Ken’s development goes without saying (it’s one of the most consistently praised aspects of 02), but it’s also interesting to note the unusual way the series plays his redemption arc. Instead of making him a typical “jerkass anti-hero who learns to get a bit better”, the series completely blindsides you by revealing that Ken is, in fact, a naturally soft-hearted and kind boy, and then plays up the mystery of the severe kinds of trauma that would lead him down that path. And ultimately, even though the cause is revealed to have supernatural influence, the series also makes it clear that it doesn’t matter -- that, whether it was his conscious “fault” or not, he still is responsible for what he did. And on top of that, it also scorns the usual “redemption by sacrifice” mentality by pointing out that it’s a cop-out -- it doesn’t actually solve the problems that were caused, and, in fact, a much better way to make up for things is to fix them going forward.

Takeru: Takeru had the “designated young character” role in Adventure, and it turns out that once one of those gets a few years older, they’re naturally not going to be nearly as pure and innocent! The “sweet child” from Adventure has now grown into having slightly pettier emotions, even to the point of grudge, and things he won’t let go of. Oh, and also, trauma from three years prior is still going to have impact on an eleven-year-old kid. Who would have thought.

Hikari: Adventure’s most infamously inscrutable character also seems to have gained some individualized, not-quite-innocent traits of her own (observe how she deals with Daisuke’s advances), and, moreover, it turns out that her deferential humility and refusal to open up about her problems is...not a good thing! when it starts to actually bite her in the rear in front of her friends. Yeah, it turns out that being the “quiet cute girl” actually has its own mental health drawbacks. Oops.

We’re doing pretty well, actually! At the very least, they certainly feel like they already have the Adventure/02 brand of character nuance, where their personalities are inherently varied and nuanced enough that you may not quite find characters like them elsewhere. On top of that, we definitely get to see what makes these characters “tick” -- we get a lot of depth into their thought processes and what their likes and dislikes or strengths and weaknesses are, and that’s something 02 still completely beats out a lot of other kids’ shows or even certain other Digimon entries with.

But here we’re talking about character development. So what do we know about them at the very beginning of the series?

Having watched 02 in Japanese a few times and being very used to the core cast’s latter-half characterizations, rewatching the early episodes always strikes me really hard in the face with genuine shock at how shallow the kids -- especially Daisuke and Miyako -- start the series off as. It’s understandable in terms of the context of the series -- unlike the Adventure kids, who were thrown into a “survival, need to get home” situation off the bat and thus already understood the need to be wary, these kids started off having comparatively easy access to home at any time, and didn’t have a constant sense of danger and survival looming over their heads. It naturally took a lot of time for the gravity of the situation they were in to start really hitting them, and so even the relatively straight-laced Iori didn’t exactly take it all that seriously at the beginning.

Yet while it took them a significantly more delayed time to understand what they were dealing with and take it as seriously as they needed to...they started cultivating something else in the meantime.

02′s first half is especially full of “random banter conversations” that seemingly involve nothing in particular, but, in fact, that’s actually part of the point. One thing I have always been quick to point out in regards to 02 is that it is rather unique among Digimon series in how it goes out of its way to portray its core cast as having become friends even in pure daily-life social friend terms, even if it had absolutely nothing to do with Digimon incidents -- these are kids who genuinely enjoy each other’s company even in the most mundane of situations. This was something that wasn’t the case for the original Adventure kids -- having been a group of kids thrown together by necessity, even though they most certainly kept in touch and trusted each other as fellow Chosen Children deeply, they started floating back into their own different social clusters after the events of 1999. Relationships are multifaceted, after all; you can still have a deep relationship and bond without necessarily being friends on a social level.

But already, off the bat, Miyako brings food for her new best friends, and it’s implied that she’s the main ringleader behind holding the picnic -- a picnic that started off having no intended relation to the Digital World territory war -- in episode 6. And, to be quite honest, can you really blame these kids? Even the Adventure kids wistfully entertained the idea of a long-term fun adventure through the Digital World in Adventure episode 54, wanting to enjoy its beauty and fun in a situation where they weren’t constantly running for their lives. Now that this luxury is actually available, why not take advantage of it -- and bond further with the others in the process? And for the rest of the year, these kids actively end up spending mundane conversations together and bonding to the point that, by the time we get to the end of 02, these kids have just genuinely bonded so much that they really come off as a cohesive, inseparable unit that would actively choose to spend time with each other if given the opportunity. In fact, even going through all of the TV Digimon series that exist as of this writing, I would say Appmon is the only one that really competes with 02 in portraying its core cast in this manner.

Again, remember: this is a series where characterization is dependent on how the kids treat others and interact with them, so you do actually have to pay close attention to these interactions and see how they change over the course of the series.

So once the episodes start coming in play, we actually learn a lot more about what happens when the characters start breaking away from their shallowness. For instance, episode 8, one of the first key episodes to understanding Daisuke’s character:

Daisuke: He'll be a great opponent. We didn't face off in the last tournament. Takeru: If you had made it to the finals, you would have, right? Daisuke: Don't remind me... Hikari: Can you win? Daisuke: It's not about winning or losing. Right now, all of the boys who play soccer in this country want to be like him. Just thinking about playing against him makes me excited!

For all Daisuke initially seems to be arrogant, he’s actually not that incapable of humility. Far from it, actually; he does have a genuine love for soccer and the spirit of the game, and, when completely and obviously unmatched, fully admits he has no chance and is set on enjoying the most he can out of it anyway. I feel like Daisuke’s surface-abrasive attitude really does throw off the fact that he’s a lot more genuinely humble than he’s given credit for. In the end, he’s satisfied enough with the accomplishment of pulling off one sliding tackle against Ken, and is able to enjoy that -- a foreshadowing of how the latter half relies so much on the fact that he’s capable of enjoying simple pleasures and being straightforward about them.

I find that this scene is really underappreciated, too (mainly because it gets lost in all of the other major things in this episode) -- while Daisuke jokes about his accomplishment, it only takes a single comment from his respected senior Taichi to shut him down.

There’s a huge reason I constantly emphasize that Daisuke respects his elders -- this part tends to get lost in translation a lot (especially the American English dub, which just smashed this aspect out of him wholesale, among other things) due to it being a bit reliant on Asian senior deference and cultural propriety, but Daisuke is respectful not only out of societal obligation but also because he genuinely respects his elders! The way he looks up to Taichi and chases after his approval is genuine, and even his interactions with the other Adventure kids have a major hint of him having genuine respect and deference to them. Daisuke is just a deferential person in general -- note that while his crush on Hikari tends to manifest when he’s at his most shallow, he’s actually the one putting Hikari on a pedestal (considering it his own responsibility to impress her), so he’s not actually as assertive as he tries to come off as. The first half of 02 arguably has him deflating more often than he actually stands his ground...and this is a trait of him that starts to actually change quite a bit over the course of the series.

Miyako comes to terms with the fact that maybe she’d been taking this whole Digital World adventure thing too lightly in episode 10, indicating that she actually does have a good sense of priorities when they become increasingly clear! This is actually very important, because it fleshes her out as someone who’s emotionally sensitive -- too emotionally sensitive, to the point that “emotional sensitivity” is just as much of a driving point behind her later breakdown in episode 18, this time from taking her duties too seriously. Miyako is a very id-driven person, and so a lot of the early series is her struggling to find a proper balance on how to adjust her emotions in an increasingly escalating situation. Her heart is in the right place, she’s just not someone with an inherent sense of preparedness to deal with this kind of problem.

We get into the secondary Digimental arc, and there’s a noticeable consistent thread that all of them involve admission of personal faults. This is something that tends to throw people off at times -- wait, having bad traits about yourself is what awards you? -- but the point is that this isn’t like Adventure’s Crests, where things came from proof of exercising the virtue, but rather admitting that there are ways you need to improve, and showing a will to improve in that manner. In the end, people are not perfect human beings, and sometimes even understanding that you’re deficient is half the battle -- after all, the second half is all about a certain character named Ichijouji Ken coming to terms with some very, very serious personal problems.

In episode 11, Daisuke completely admits that he doesn’t feel he understands the concept of friendship the way Taichi and Yamato et al. see it, also latently admitting that he doesn’t see himself as worthy of the Digimental of Friendship. Beyond betraying a lot deeper issues within Daisuke that he seems to have actually had a background lacking in friends and sources of validation, he actually acts very self-effacing when admitting his issues to Taichi and Yamato, ultimately culminating in him calling himself pathetic. Or, in other words, he does want to be a better friend and to understand the concept better, and is harsh on himself for not doing better (which, of course, ultimately leads to how he eventually does gain better relations with the rest of the group and reaches out to Ken).

In episode 14, Miyako admits that she’s shallow and judgmental and tends to jump to conclusions based on first impressions. Recall that she’s comparing herself to Mimi in said relevant scene -- Mimi, whom she admires, and actually spends part of the episode trying to understand and empathize with the mentality of. This is not a statement of Miyako being proud of herself. Rather, this is Miyako being very straightforward about the fact that she needs to try harder to see through the essence of things and to see through to the emotional core of. Again, something she actually does start developing over the course of the series.

In episode 16, Iori gets his first major lesson on the limitations of being too stuck on principles in his attempt to be honest. Recall that Iori’s later character arc is very dependent on him realizing that his own view of the world is too black-and-white. It’s great if you could never tell a lie to anyone, ever, but in the end, that’s going to reach limitations of practicality -- after all, as Jou points out, what Iori did ended up not actually hurting Jou in comparison to the incredible amount of hurt it would have caused everyone by being too stubborn, and thus Iori would have failed to keep his responsibility to help the others because of one narrow-minded principle.

Hikari even gets in a bit during the infamous episode 13, where we learn that her “passive” attitude is biting her in the rear. In Adventure, Hikari’s passiveness and reticence had mostly been used as satellite development for Taichi (his insecurities as an older brother and his obligations to her), so this is actually the first time we get to see a proper perspective from Hikari’s side, and it turns out that his overprotectiveness has actually caused her to get dependent. But even though Taichi is the one the episode actually focuses on, the larger focus is more specifically on the fact that Hikari is too passive -- that she sees being taken by the Dark Ocean as an inevitable thing that’s just going to happen unless someone else steps in on her behalf. Takeru, of course, is having none of it.

Once that’s out of the way, we go back to taking a look at the subtleties of everyone’s interactions. While everyone generally tends to focus on the second half of episode 17, it’s also pretty interesting to see how the 02 kids react to hearing about their seniors’ adventure in the first half -- remember that this is the first time the 02 kids are actually given any real depth about the degree of 1999′s events that’s not just random points of hearsay, and the way the new kids react to it indicates that they’re thoroughly floored. It’s later established that they didn’t even get the full story (it may not even be possible, given that the Adventure kids’ experiences may well have gone even further beyond what we got to see in 54 episodes), and yet the new kids are overwhelmed. 02 itself does not shy away from the fact that the younger kids really have no qualms about deferring to their seniors if need be, and treating them with utmost respect.

Another minor note, which I pointed out in my Daisuke meta earlier, is that the beginning of this episode is pretty much the last time Daisuke ever shows outright hostility towards Takeru for his relationship with Hikari -- it’s something you have to glean by squinting, but the implication is that the insecure and clingy Daisuke actually got to learn this episode that the two of them had a pre-established shared experience that he himself may not understand, and that it wasn’t just Takeru randomly swooping in and snatching away the closest thing he had to a friend for no good reason.

Once the Kaiser infiltration arc begins, episode 18 ends up being one of Miyako’s funniest episodes, but it’s a bit distressing that a lot of people in the fanbase often never let Miyako live this incident down, when in actuality this was explicitly not a good mental health day for her. (This is basically the equivalent of pinning Mimi as a conceited, self-centered jerk based on the fact she was one for a fashion in Adventure episode 25.) The beginning and ending of this episode establish that this is basically a result of Miyako...trying her hardest. She’s scared as hell, but she also learned in episode 10 that this is something she needs to take seriously, and the stress puts her into a mental breakdown. This is why she ends up having a heart-to-heart with Hawkmon at the end; her heart is in the right place, but she needs to find a way to channel her emotional sensitivity in a way that doesn’t make her into a complete mess.

And note that her own voice actress, Natsuki Rio, even pointed out that Hawkmon’s actions had enough of an influence on Miyako’s character that she had to play her differently thereafter.

At first I always played her with Maximum Excitement, and I kept thinking “someone, please, stop her,” but the more straight-laced Hawkmon did his best to pull her in and hold her by the reins (laughs). Thanks to him, Miyako became a lot more of a put-together person…thank goodness Hawkmon is her partner!

Episode 19 has two interesting things of note that I want to point out -- first of all, starting from the very beginning of the episode, everyone ditches Daisuke because they’re independently going in to infiltrate the Kaiser’s base. Note the complete lack of a plan here whatsoever -- everyone’s just going in on their own -- and the fact that everyone expects Daisuke to come up with what he wants to do on his own. For all it’s worth, even though Daisuke may have a designated protagonist aura to him, within the story itself...nobody actually sees him as a leader at this point in the series (and, to be fair, he’s never really tried to claim the position, either).

It’s similar to how Taichi was never recognized as a particular leader of the Adventure group until Adventure episode 28, but in regards to the full team dynamic, it’s actually inverse -- the Adventure kids were capable of making tactical plans together as early as episode 20, but fell apart emotionally in short order as soon as Taichi was gone, whereas here, the kids are fond enough of each other to hang out socially and support each other emotionally, but they take a while to get any real cohesiveness as a fighting group.

The other is that Iori personally witnesses Takeru’s sudden whiplash into his grudge against the darkness and the Kaiser, and it scares the hell out of him.

Takeru eventually laying a punch on the Kaiser is a pretty awesome moment (and, really, Ken kind of deserved it, so it’s hard to not cheer for him), but it’s also important to note that within the context of the series, this is not a good mental place for Takeru to be in. Iori, the person who should by all means sympathize with hatred of evil things at this point of the series, is still extremely unnerved by Takeru’s actions here, because he’d always seen Takeru as a mature person who’d always kept his composure, only to show a drastically different side of him that he hadn’t even shown a hint of before. That kind of “two-facedness” and emotional repression -- and this way of venting trauma in general -- cannot be good for Takeru at this point in time, and it’s also an important moment for Iori when he later admits during the two’s Jogress arc that he’s having a bit of a hard time understanding him.

And so episode 20 comes, and Chimeramon pretty much takes out the entire party, leading to this conversation.

Takeru: Let's escape. Daisuke: Escape? Takeru: We can't fight anymore. Our mission has failed. We'll retreat and wait for another chance. Hikari: You're right. We have no other choice. Iori: Understood. Daisuke: No. Miyako: Daisuke? Daisuke: We can't just say "another chance" like that. If we leave now, they'll keep attacking anything in sight. We don't know if we'll be able to get into the fortress again. So this is our only chance! Hikari: That's crazy... Iori: Exactly! Miyako: They're all back to their Baby forms... Chibimon: Daisuke... Daisuke: But...didn't you all see it? Destroying those towns...and all we could do was watch quietly. I don't want to see that ever again. I won't let them do whatever they want! So I'm going, even alone. I won't give up now. After getting this far, all I can do is go forward!

Why is this moment important? This is the first time Daisuke has actually stood a firm ground against anyone else in the party -- and not only that, with the entire party standing against him.

Recall that I mentioned earlier that, in spite of Daisuke’s abrasive attitude suggesting otherwise, he actually has a tendency to “deflate” pretty quickly when people tease or criticize him. He spends the first half of the series having a lot more bark than he actually has bite. Earlier in the series, if the entire party were to go against him, he’d be more likely to begrudgingly go along (while complaining) -- in fact, he actually did just that at the beginning of episode 7! But now that push has come to shove, Daisuke’s own sense of morals and bleeding heart have won out. (While his decision here is definitely a bit reckless, he does have a point; if they’d retreated, they might genuinely lose any future chances.) Even with the entire party telling him to pull back, he refuses to accept what they want him to do, and pushes forward.

This is where Daisuke first starts to really make strides towards what becomes his eventual major role in the group as “the one who pulls people forward”. It’s a moment after which the rest of the group themselves also start to treat him with more respect now that he’s proven he’s not just a doormat, and that when it comes to there being a real problem with real priorities, he does have the resolve and initiative to keep going.

Also, a very important point is that he immediately says he’ll go alone if he has to. He doesn’t begrudge the others for wanting to fall back, and has no condescension towards them; he just can’t stand the fact that he himself is being asked to sit it out.

So, you know. Episode 21 happens. Ichijouji Ken goes through some real trauma as Wormmon dies in his arms. And all Daisuke has to say is...

Daisuke: You should go home. There are people who are worried and waiting for you! Go home!

Remember when I pointed out that 02 takes a very unique perspective on Ken’s redemption arc, pointing out the futility of being too trapped in the idea of symbolic penance and focusing more on actively taking steps in the future to make up for and fix things? Here’s our first major sign of this, and Daisuke’s eventual approach to Ken -- Daisuke does not choose to scorn or lambast Ken for what he’s done, even though there are a lot of things Ken deserves to be harped on for, but rather instructs him to take the first active step towards fixing his mistakes, in this case fixing things with his family.

Episode 22 is Daisuke’s own “fanbase will never let him live this down” moment, but there’s still some interesting things to note here. Firstly, Daisuke’s “relapse” happening exactly when it seems like his duty to the Digital World is done and there’s nothing to do besides community service doesn’t seem coincidental, especially when this exact episode actually dedicates a full scene to Takeru, Hikari, and their partners going “...now what?” Secondly, as I touched on earlier, note that Daisuke’s never really seemed to have any resentment against Hikari for not responding to his affections -- in fact, he still considers it his own (and V-mon’s, by extension) duty to be the one to impress her. It’s a surprisingly refreshing take on the “shounen hero with a crush on a girl” trope, because in the end...Daisuke isn’t actually all that possessive of her, he just really wants validation from her, and respects her a lot.

More importantly, though -- note the way Daisuke handles this topic. He’s not actually mad at or resentful of Takeru anymore. In fact, he’s mulling on the topic and wondering what he could do to be on that level. Yup, even when Daisuke’s being shallow and jealous, he’s still learned to handle this issue ever so slightly more maturely than he would have at the beginning of the series.

This is also important because only one episode later, once Daisuke becomes disappointed again at Takeru and Hikari walking off on their own, Miyako intervenes -- not only so that Takeru and Hikari can have their space, but also so that Daisuke can have some genuine fun and something to do. This is a very blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment in episode 24, but it makes it very clear that Miyako was looking out for Daisuke’s welfare, too, and I think it’s very important in light of the events of the prior episode. Miyako, who had always been fumbling on what to do with her emotions, is starting to properly channel them into managing the dynamic between the team and checking in on how everyone’s doing, and that starts to guide her actions and relationships for the rest of the series.

The next episode (25) is where we kick off not only the Jogress arc, but also the arc where we start going into everyone’s attitude towards Ichijouji Ken. This is important not only because Ken happens to be the effective central figure of 02′s story, but also because -- well, remember, 02 is fundamentally founded on the concept of relationships, so it’s only natural that the other kids’ relationship with the “team newcomer” will be a key aspect of the second half, and in relation to their own characters.

Remember how I said that Daisuke’s first-half character involved him being extremely deferential and often deflating whenever he was criticized or someone stood against him? At the time of episode 25, once again, pretty much the entire team is standing against him -- he’s the only one who’s this level of open-minded about getting Ken into the group, and everyone else is showing differing levels of opposition. But while Daisuke doesn’t begrudge the others for thinking this way, he also doesn’t back down, either, and reaches out to Ken on his own because he still really believes in what he’s doing. Now that he’s settled into what it means to be a Chosen Child, he’s started to gain a proper idea of what he wants to do, and what he feels needs to be done.

So, let’s recap everyone’s stances on Ichijouji Ken at the time of this episode!

Daisuke: Forward-thinking and optimistic; willing to believe that Ken should be given the chance to make up for his mistakes and that they should put everything behind him, even to the extent of believing that there’s probably a good reason for the more suspicious aspects about him (prior to the events of episode 25, it was unclear whether Ken was being a bit too callous about killing Digimon). Also the most actively aggressive in reaching out to Ken and trying to get him to join them.

Miyako: Forward-thinking; she openly states at the beginning of the episode that she thinks Ken’s learned his lesson, she’s just worried about whether he’s going to keep doing questionable things in the future (killing Digimon). Once it’s on the table that he’s not just doing this callously, she immediately is on board with him (to the point of even being the first in the group to use given name basis with him), but her stance on what to do with him is more on the edge of “give him space and wait for him to come on his own terms” (she ends the episode saying she’ll be waiting for him to come).

Takeru: States in the episode that he does believe that Ken’s changed, but doesn’t really know what he’s thinking (i.e. too inscrutable to really be sure about). The later episode 35 implies that Takeru was inclined to be a bit more sympathetic than you’d think otherwise, because he understands the trauma of losing a Digimon partner.

Hikari: Wants to wait a little longer and see how things play out. (Remember that Hikari has a known, consistent thread of taking a very passive approach towards things.)

Iori: Absolutely against it on sheer principle.

It should be noted that none of these stances are wrong. Iori sometimes gets a lot of flak for being the one with the most infamously cold stance towards Ken, but when you really think about it, Daisuke and Miyako are very lucky that their hunch about Ken was right and that he actually did happen to be a very kind boy who had a little too much trauma and some supernatural influence. The fact that Ken is a very emotionally withdrawn person for the rest of the series meant that the two of them ended up breaking through to him the most, but there’s nothing wrong with Takeru, Hikari, and Iori’s skepticism; Ken did some pretty shockingly horrible things in front of their eyes for the first half, and it’s entirely within their rights to determine how forgiving they want to be with him.

In any case, we get to episode 26 (the first Jogress), and most of that episode goes without saying, but I do want to emphasize Daisuke’s lines right before it happens.

Daisuke: If you die now, you won't be able to accomplish anything...I don't want that! Ken: I don't want that...There are still many things I must do.

Daisuke urges Ken not to go for the “suicidal penance” route not only because it sucks, but also because, as symbolic as it may be, it’s also counterproductive to the whole point of doing penance to begin with. If Ken really wants to make up for his mistakes, he’s only going to be able to do that if he’s actually alive to do it! There’s only so much you can do by drowning in self-pity by going “because I did this, because I did that” instead of actually taking responsibility for your actions.

02 itself is deliberately ambiguous on how much Ken’s transformation into the Kaiser was Ken’s own conscious will and how much of it was Dark Seed-induced supernatural influence, but one thing it’s consistent about is that it doesn’t really matter. Regardless of what the cause was, Ken did what he did, and it’s his responsibility to make up for it, and the only way to actually do that is to keep moving forward. The fact that Daisuke is so able to viscerally and directly address what Ken needs the most right now is what fuels their first Jogress, and why Daisuke becomes Ken’s closest friend through the rest of the series.

People have pointed out that 02 has a lot of moments of physical hits, but, notably, other than Takeru punching the Kaiser in episode 19 (which he really deserved, honestly), all of these hits are done with the express intent of bringing the other person out of a very, very deep mental abyss (Yamato punching Taichi in episode 10, Daisuke slapping Ken in 26, Miyako slapping Ken in 30, and Miyako and Hikari’s mutual slaps in 31), because they were in a state where words would no longer reach them otherwise. These are all circumstances of the kind where the person on the receiving end understands that they really needed a drastic wake-up call because of how deeply they’d fallen (and these aren’t some average mental abyss problems these kids are getting put through, either). It’s actually hard to imagine any of the 02 group getting in the kind of genuinely angry and vicious fistfights Taichi and Yamato would in Adventure, because of how close they are (the closest being Daisuke and Takeru grappling in episode 11, but it never got near that level) -- in fact, these kinds of things are done with the implication that they’re doing it because they trust the other person to not hold it against them (and in fact, the fact Yamato does this with Taichi in this way is intended to be read as a sign of how much better they’ve come to understand each other).

So, moving on with the series! The Giga House incident in episodes 28-29 is the first time the group works together in an organized effort, which is notable not only because it’s their first time coordinating with Ken, but also because it’s their first time properly coordinating at all. Remember when I mentioned that, back in episode 19, as much as the kids were pretty fond of each other and were great friends, they still hadn’t figured out how to actually fight as a team? Here we are, with them actually having started to figure that process out.

We then get to episode 30, where there’s actually quite a lot of interesting things to unpack.

Miyako: What's wrong with you? Daisuke: E-Eh? Mi-Miyako-san? Miyako: It feels weird when you add the "-san". Daisuke: Shut up! Man, you're all the same!

Miyako and Daisuke’s relationship is often misconstrued considering that they’re the two most chaotic in the group (their temperaments are very similar at times, which causes them a lot of friction), but I also think this blink-and-you’ll-miss it moment is pretty much their actual relationship in a nutshell. They fight a lot, and they’re ostensibly vitriolic, but they’re actually two of the most like-minded in the group -- they banter because they’re comfortable with each other. Recall that I mentioned that Daisuke is normally respectful with his elders, yet he’s the only person in the group who won’t use the -san honorific on Miyako (even though she’s the oldest)...but the one time he gets flustered and uses it on her, she tells him that it’s weird and he needs to cut that out. Or, in other words, “it’s not like you to be weirdly respectful of me like that, we shouldn’t have that kind of distance between us, stop it.”

(It’s also pretty notable that Miyako has never seriously used -kun or any other honorific on Daisuke, even right after meeting him -- the only other person she dropped honorifics on was Iori, whom she’d known prior to the start of the series, but she seems to have deemed Daisuke enough of a fellow disaster child that he merited dropping it.)

This is especially because, right after that, she recruits Daisuke into her plan to get Ken and Iori to get along -- in the end, when things really get serious, the two are incredibly like-minded (look at how in-sync they are when they scheme together).

30 is actually a surprisingly Miyako-centric episode, despite not ostensibly being one. For one, it says a lot that right now, her biggest priority is to get Ken and Iori to get along -- something that has absolutely nothing to do with herself. In episode 14, Miyako freely admitted that she had a tendency to jump to conclusions about people, and that she was shallow about aesthetics, but this is a very different Miyako from the one who harassed Daisuke for Ken’s autograph in episode 8, or immediately became distrusting of Digitamamon in episode 14. Instead, she’s simply just genuinely invested in seeing people she considers friends get along, and in a selfless manner -- one that has nothing to do with herself. She just really, really cares, a lot.

After all of the first-half hubbub of Miyako really having no idea of what to do with her emotions, the second half has her start channeling that energy into what’s always been one of her biggest strengths: checking on, connecting with, and caring about her friends. Daisuke may be an aggressive forward-thinker who can push everyone in the right direction, but unlike his predecessor Taichi, he doesn’t actually have particular charisma or leadership skills that can necessarily hold everyone together. In the absence of that ability, Miyako fills in for him, checking on the moods and feelings on everyone in the team and making sure everyone’s doing well. And that’s why she loses her temper and slaps Ken late in the episode -- because, really, she’s reached her limit on her “give him space” philosophy when he’s abusing it to be standoffish in a crisis situation, and, on top of that, she really, really did have a huge emotional investment in him.

Moving onto more Miyako in episode 31, her Jogress episode with Hikari, we get to see a little bit of the old emotionally compromised Miyako again, but -- much like the second Digimentals arc -- it involves the two of them acknowledging that both of them are not going about things the best way, and that there are things they can learn from the other.

Hikari: Miyako-san, you're a handful sometimes. Miyako: I knew that's what you thought of me... Hikari: But...I've always envied that. Miyako: Huh? Hikari: Because I can't be honest and say I'm scared or scream like you.

Miyako’s tendency to lose control emotionally results in her being insensitive much of the time, which she calls herself out on multiple times during the episode, and she can’t always be as “kind” as Hikari is -- but, on the flip side, her antics are something that can be a “light” (pun not intended) towards those who are falling in a bad mental state or into the darkness, and Hikari even acknowledges this when one of her trains of thought makes her break out into laughter. Miyako ultimately manages to get through to Hikari this way at the end of the episode, which results in a Jogress and mutual growth for both of them -- Miyako puts more thought into how to approach others (it’s pointed out at the end that she’s still thinking about understanding Ken and Hikari better), and Hikari gains more resolve and determination to fight against things instead of passively accepting her fate (she tells Takeru very directly at the end "I’m fine now. I’ll never go there again.”).

Iori and Takeru's Jogress is a little more complicated to the point where it spans multiple episodes, but a lot of it ends up having to do with the fact that the events of the BlackWarGreymon arc start really putting Iori's black-and-white principles into conflict -- it's wrong to kill something that's been proven to be alive, but it's also wrong to be evil. Putting a huge nail in that is that there's a stake in him forming a relationship with Takeru, but he doesn't really understand Takeru either -- the "two-facedness" he witnessed back in episode 19 scares even him, and he's so intimidated by Takeru that, in episode 35, he goes to approach Yamato about Takeru's past instead of asking the person directly. Takeru, hearing about this, complains that he could have just asked directly, but admits he understands why Iori did so.

By the way, I should point out that episode 35 is the last time within the TV series that Daisuke is portrayed as having a particular interest in Hikari, and it’s just in terms of being slightly more excited that Hikari is joining his meeting. At this point, there are actual important things happening in the Digital World, and he needs to take care of Ken, too, and so...in the end, once again, Daisuke proves that he’s actually capable of putting aside those kinds of more shallow things when he really needs to.

On top of that, this is when the kids start actively working with Ken in the real world (and, if post-02 materials are any indication, continue to hang out with him even for social outings). The choice to have Ken live in Tamachi instead of Odaiba facilitated his isolation from the group during the Kaiser arc, and during around the third quarter they were all grouping up in the Digital World anyway, but the fourth quarter actually has the kids make an attempt to include Ken in their real-world outings despite the distance. Tamachi is not temporally far from Odaiba (approximately half an hour by train), but it’s a bit of a nuisance to get to, requiring crossing a bridge to/from the Tokyo mainland and paying extra for the Yurikamome. But at this point, he’s an important enough friend to them -- and them important enough friends to him -- that they’ll make it work.

At the end of episode 35, Iori finally decides -- to the point of recklessness, something that would have been previously very uncharacteristic of him -- to try and appeal directly to BlackWarGreymon to get him to stop destroying the Holy Stones so that they won’t have to fight. It’s emblematic of Iori’s heart being genuinely torn, because he’s having such a difficult time rationalizing all of these conflicting feelings. This comes to a head in episode 36, when Iori loses his temper at the rest of the group for “playing around”, but Armadimon snaps him back to reality to remind him that they’re tired and hungry, and this can’t be neglected. Iori himself ultimately becomes the one to proactively suggest that they take time to sit down and eat, indicating that -- little by little -- he’s starting to shift his thinking a bit, after being so incredibly stubborn for much of the series.

This is what leads to Iori and Takeru’s Jogress at the end of the episode, now that Iori is flexible enough in thinking to understand the emotional id behind Takeru’s mentality. And likewise, Takeru’s started to loosen up by 36, too --

Takeru: Sure, darkness is frightening, and we would feel at ease if we could get rid of it completely, but I'm sure that's impossible. Ken: Impossible? Takeru: Where there's light, there's always darkness. Hikari: The brighter the light, the darker the shadow, right? Takeru: Yes. That's why I think it's important not to lose sight of the light inside you, no matter how dark it is.

The thing about Takeru is that while he deceptively seemed more open and playful than Hikari for most of the series, he was actually bottling up a lot of emotions in a way not entirely different from the way she did. (Note how, despite how tied at the hip the two constantly are, they almost never actually talk about their thoughts on each other; it feels like a relationship where they implicitly trust each other but are practically reliant on that implicit trust to maintain that close of a friendship at all.) And he’s been keeping those emotions bottled up until they exploded in less-than-healthy ways, initially distancing himself from Iori. But being a lot more open about his thoughts on the matter allowed them to connect better, and eventually Takeru came to embrace a somewhat more reasonable stance on the matter after observing Iori.

It also doesn’t seem like coincidence that this is the episode that ends with Takeru’s first major act of goodwill towards Ken.

This leads into episode 38, the Christmas episode. Fun things to note!

The episode opens with Daisuke and the other younger kids giving a “Christmas present” to their seniors in the form of letting them reunite with their partners. Remember how I said that the 02 kids always admired their seniors and looked up to them? Even this late in the series, the series does not shy away from the fact you’re supposed to see the 02 kids as their deferential juniors.

The Christmas party is, of course, notably, the first major moment of reconciliation between Iori and Ken, with Iori having gone through major harsh lessons about morality in the last few episodes, and Ken opening up more to the rest of the group. Said party is also yet another notable example of how much of a priority it is for the 02 kids to be “social life friends” and not just friends working as a Digimon incident team -- after all, having genuinely emotionally present friends is what Ken needs most in his life right now, considering that the party is treated as the first time he’s been truly happy in a long while.

This is followed by episode 39, which is notable as the time when Daisuke finally commits to switching to given-name basis for Ken, and actually opens the episode standing against Taichi -- because he's so worried about Ken that he needs to go join him. This is something that's lost a bit in translation, but although Daisuke stands down against Taichi, he's not rude nor does he overstep his boundaries with his respected senior (he even opens his statement in polite-form Japanese) -- he's just saying, firmly and politely, "I'm sorry, but I can't go, I have to go help my friend." It’s a notable moment because while Daisuke has been becoming increasingly assertive and aware of what he really wants to do, this is the first time we’re actually seeing him refuse to defer to the very senior he’d spent so much of the series idolizing and looking up to.

We get to episodes 43-45 (the Demon mini-arc), which is also the culmination of the 02 kids having to face the limits of pacifism. This tends to throw off people who are coming in from Adventure, since the Adventure kids ended up killing Digimon with a lot more ease in the original series, but it’s also important to make note of the fact that the episode itself deliberately portrays a gap in mentality between the Adventure and the 02 kids -- with Hikari torn between the two. It also creates an interesting subversion of expectations when Hikari, the one you’d expect to be more on the pacifist side, is the one who’s already accepted that it may be inevitable, whereas Miyako, the more aggressive and belligerent one, is the one staunchly against it.

The reason for this “paradox” comes out of a single line from Hikari in episode 44:

Hikari: You’re the one who saved him, Miyako-san.

The Adventure kids never liked killing. They were never enthusiastic about it -- it was just that they were almost immediately put in a situation where the entire fate of the multiverse was at stake thanks to some unambiguously evil Digimon who wanted nothing but wanton destruction. Even then, it was pretty clear that they never enjoyed it -- Takeru professed a desire to avoid fighting in Adventure episode 12, and the pacifist Mimi went through a breakdown in Adventure episodes 45-50 trying to avoid casualties. But one of the most important lessons Mimi learned at the time was that pacifism has its limits -- there’s no point if it ends up in more deaths than it saves, because at that point you’re adhering to moralistic principles more than you’re actually saving lives.

The fact that the Adventure kids and the 02 kids have a “different mentality” isn’t just happenstance, but outright embraced. Daisuke, Miyako, and Iori never had to actually deal with a conscious Digimon that was unambiguously evil for most of the series, and Archnemon revealing that her motives were pretty much nothing but wanton destruction in episode 29 was the first major warning signal to Iori that his pacifism might have limits. And during this Demon mini-arc, it’s not like these Digimon are threatening multiverse destruction or anything -- it really does seem like a constant “glimmer of hope” that maybe, just maybe, they can save people non-lethally. Alas, they can’t.

Daisuke, being someone who’s inherently practical-minded, starts entertaining the idea that push may come to shove as early as episode 25, and finally makes his first statement about practical limits in episode 43. But the more emotionally caught-up Miyako and Iori end up taking another episode to swallow it, and they don’t take it well. Most of the attention in 44 is given to Miyako, and it reconfirms that, despite her aggressive exterior, she’s emotionally sensitive and empathetic -- and while killing LadyDevimon is framed as truly the only thing that could have been done in that situation, Miyako is not faulted for being emotionally compromised, nor is Iori likewise when he faces a similar situation with Takeru and is forced to confront the people whose lives were at stake.

Episode 45, when Ken opens the gate to the Dark Ocean, doesn’t really have much to add on top of what’s already there, but this is basically “the point of no return” when everyone confirms their own emotional investment in Ken and understanding that he’s not just reformed, he’s genuinely struggling under the pain of what’s been happening -- and this is before they find out about the truth behind the Dark Seeds, and that Ken’s transformation into the Kaiser may have been supernaturally influenced, too.

It’s also interesting to see the different ways each kid reacts to Ken as they support him:

Hikari, the most outwardly compassionate, goes to support him the second she notices him in physical pain; Takeru notices that it might work, realizes Ken needs the support, and joins.

Iori and Miyako reflect on how Ken’s putting all of his efforts in, and lambast themselves before joining. Interestingly, given the circumstances behind what’s happened up until now, Iori and Miyako criticizing themselves take a different meaning -- Iori, who’d been scornful of Ken until recently, seems to be regretting that he distrusted him when Ken had been trying so hard, while Miyako, who had been open to him since episode 25, seems to be upset that she’s sitting there and not doing enough when he’s in all of this pain.

And Daisuke, of course, the most “forward-thinking” of them all, gives Ken a speech about what he’s done so far and reminds him that he’s already done more than enough for “atonement” -- which is, of course, what directly reaches Ken the most.

And when we get to episode 46, and the kids, now knowing about the Dark Seeds, hold a roundtable (and emotional support group) to discuss what to do about the Dark Seeds, Daisuke’s the one with the most spirit and energy about it, but...

...the one actually leading the roundtable? Miyako.

Miyako: Sorry, that's all I can think of. Ken: Please don't worry about me. Miyako: (nods)

It’s subtle, but the scene in question does actually make a deliberate move in indicating that Miyako’s continuing to channel her emotional sensitivity and desire to go out of her way to help Ken -- of course, they all know how traumatic this is for him, but she’s the one who’s actively calling attention to how he must feel about it first and foremost.

Episodes 47 and after end up becoming yet another major wake-up call for Iori (seriously, I do not understand why people claim he had no character arc when this wasn’t even remotely subtle) when he learns that Oikawa, whom he’d pinned as “evil”, has a deep relationship with the father he’d grown up idolizing so much, and it completely flips his world around -- even though he had started to get a bit more open-minded, he’s still trying to rationalize what should have been, in his mind, two diametrically opposite things. It fuels his confusion and desperate desire to understand more, not just about Oikawa, but about everything he’d thought about morality and why people turn to evil.

So we get to the final arc of the series, and it involves a confrontation with BelialVamdemon -- but said finale is heavily dependent on talking to the Dark Seed children and inspiring hope back into them. This results in a conversation where everyone talks about their career dreams, and Daisuke admits that he wants to be...a ramen chef, which completely blindsides even his friends.

What’s with this arc?, you might think. And moreover, why is Daisuke ending the series still kind of an idiot? Even Miyako still seems to be a bit of a mess and chaotic. Weren’t they supposed to be growing into dignified heroes, like Taichi and his friends were last series?

Well, here’s the thing -- the fact that the 02 kids end the series comparatively “undignified” is actually very inherent to the core theme of 02 itself. There were more than enough episodes that established that said kids are heroic in their own way -- caring about others, fighting on others’ behalf, and learning important lessons about what’s important to fight about. That doesn’t mean they don’t get the right to continue being disaster children while they’re at it.

Why?

Let’s look at a few official statements behind the creation and intent behind 02 as a series. From producer Seki Hiromi, from the Digimon Animation Chronicle:

That came from an idea I had while reading a newspaper article. I read a story about a nine-year-old boy going to Columbia University, and I thought, “This boy is going to college because he’s considered a genius, and everyone around him will be in their twenties, and he won’t get to have any friends his age. What kind of life would this boy end up having?”

Or some very interesting statements from head writer Yoshimura Genki from the 02 Blu-ray box:

When I was writing Ken Ichijouji, the main idea for him I used as a basis was the conflict between “the self that has to be a well-behaved child when adults are watching” and “being able to be oneself”, and the pain that came from it as a result. So for instance, in the same way as the Pinnocchio fairytale, or the short story A.I. that was adapted into a movie, or many other works, there are probably universal worries that all children feel as they grow, but also, there were ongoing unimaginable, atrocious incidents happening with children at the time, and perhaps it was those social conditions that gave me a hint on what to do. I think I had some thoughts that I wanted to convey to the children who were living through that time. I was given the opportunity to put those kinds of feelings, as much as I liked, into episode 23, and I am truly grateful to all of the staff, including the director. ... Also, this is about Daisuke’s character, but I believe I paid particular attention to making him “a child who could be himself”. He has no special talents, and although he’s clumsy and scatterbrained, I wanted him to be someone whose strength was in his straightforwardness, and wrote him that way. 

Lying underneath the entirety of 02 itself is a theme about “children who are not allowed to be children”. Or, in other words, the pressure placed on children to be “talented” and “dignified” and “well-behaved”, often imposed on them by well-meaning parents who are unfortunately taking the opportunity to stroke their own ego, robbing them of the happiness and mental freedoms they should have as kids.

Ichijouji Osamu and Ken, who were placed under the pressure to be “genius children” and cracked under the pressure to please their parents. Oikawa Yukio, who was cut off from the Digital World in childhood by a well-meaning Hida Chikara, worried about his son getting into “foolish” talk. The Dark Seed children, who also fell victim to similar pressures that Ken did, and lost hope for life unless they could force themselves into that mold.

Takeru: If you want the Digimon to exist, if you believe in that, they will. Just like our feelings...Just like every child having the power to make their dreams come true. Keiko: That's just childish. Daisuke: You all have dreams for the future, don't you? Noriko: Dreams for the future? Takashi: I've forgotten that stuff. Daisuke: No way! You must have one! Takeru: It's nothing to be ashamed of. Takashi: Then, what's your dream? Daisuke: Mine? Mine's a ramen shop. I love ramen! I'll become the world's best ramen maker! Ken: I had no idea... Noriko: Well...actually, I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. Hikari: Me too. Daisuke: What about you guys? Takashi: A baseball player! Keiko: I really want to be a pastry chef. Hiroshi: When I said I wanted to be a manga artist, everyone laughed, so I gave up... Takashi: We all had aspirations, and at some point we thought that wasn't allowed...But we were wrong, right? Daisuke: Let people say whatever they want! Noriko: You're right, we should be free to dream. Miyako: Not just dreaming. If you work hard, your dreams will surely come true!

Notice something about all of these careers mentioned? They’re all the kind of “overly childish” “wild dream” “undignified” “too simple” kinds of dreams that an average parent might be uncomfortably quick to shoot down because that’s “not good enough”. These are the kids who willingly accepted the Dark Seeds; they, much like Ken, probably grew up under parents who prioritized school performance and other “societally dignified” things that ended up eating away at their happiness.

02 has a lot of different themes, but the one that lies in its undercurrent from start to finish is “so why does a child have to be this way? As long as they still understand what’s important, do they have to be dignified people? Why can’t they just be free to have dreams and be themselves?” And Daisuke and his friends are there specifically to stand up against this mentality, and to remind Ken and the other victims of it that it doesn’t have to be this way -- that it’s okay to be your true self, and be a child, and not succumb to all of those arbitrary, shallow standards people put on you. Even if that means you’re still a bit of a chaotic disaster at the tender age of eleven.

Digimon, in the Adventure and 02 universe, have always been treated like a part of the self (they were literally conceived as a physical manifestation of the soul), but in 02 they gain an extra meaning of representing “the inner, deepest part of yourself that represents your wildest ‘childish’ dreams”. The symbolism of Ken spending the first half of the series trying to reject Wormmon for being “weak” -- in other words, rejecting his own kind-hearted self for not being the kind of “strong” entity he was pressured and groomed into being -- is not lost, nor that of the Dark Seed children gaining partners when they reconnect with their dreams and wishes, nor Oikawa finally, finally meeting his partner when he comes into contact with the past he’d really lost (and especially not the fact that his attempt to reclaim shallow reminders of said childhood involved trying to make his own Digimon).

And notably, the series’s finale (prior to the epilogue) ends not on Daisuke but on Iori, escorting Oikawa to the Digital World despite how completely impossible it would have been for early-series Iori to even entertain the idea, finally coming to truly understand what happened with him and being most personally impacted by his death.

But in any case, where are we with the characters? We’re here to talk about how they’ve grown and developed over the course of the series. Let’s recap:

Daisuke: Started off the series as an abrasive kid with more bark than actual bite, constantly deferring to others and easily deflating, relying on shallow sources of validation like wanting attention from Hikari; gradually gained an ability to identify what was important and put his foot down for it, embraced his forward-thinkingness to reach out to a heavily troubled child as a friend, and ended up surrounded by a friend group that loves and respects him.

Miyako: Started off the series as a shallow, flighty girl with poor control over her emotions and difficulty in appreciating the gravity of things; came to channel her emotional range into empathy for others and compassion, bringing other people together and taking care of them.

Iori: Started off the series as a straight-laced but too principled child who stuck to “rules of what’s right” not only in morality but also in way of acting; started to appreciate the emotional nuances and heart behind why people do what they do and how it’s possible to be more flexible in “doing good”.

Ken: Well, his character arc is pretty obvious, but -- again, while his arc of learning to forgive himself is well-known, less often pointed out is that it centers very heavily on not only having penance but also not being too hung up on the past, and the futility of drowning in self-pity and regret instead of choosing to take responsibility and act more productively going forward.

Takeru: Started off the series as a seemingly mature but deceptively inscrutable character whose duality made him hard to approach; eventually opened up with the help of others and showed a capacity for being more flexible with his personal grudges.

Hikari: Started off the series emotionally repressive and passive to the point of self-destruction; eventually embraced connections with her other friends and became more active in taking a stand for herself.

Hey, not bad!

And, again, this is not a series you should be reading in terms of “self-awareness” in the same way Adventure was, but in the sense of their “relationships” and how they interact with others. By being less abrasive and more assertive, Daisuke gained the respect of his other friends. By putting her emotional capacity into caring about others, Miyako became someone who holds the group together. By learning to think a little more flexibly and be less stubborn, Iori arrived at a position where he could more easily sympathize with others in the group. Takeru and Hikari both moved from their previously relatively inscrutable positions to ones who could more effectively interact with and open up to others. And Ken, of course, became someone who managed to integrate himself into a group of true “friends” despite everything he had done against them in the first half.

This, in the end, is how you get what’s one of the tightest friend groups in Digimon history. In the end, the relationships themselves are almost like characters of their own that got development -- I say very often that you could take two of the characters and have an excellent scope of how they’d interact and play off each other by the end of the series. And although they end the series as possibly one of the most shameless, undignified disaster groups out there...they’re certainly still heroic, and in any case, given the lessons they learned throughout their own series, they probably wouldn’t have it any other way.

[lov3nerdstuff]

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 6.16}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 3.6k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

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When Robin took her perch on the edge of the desk again, putting the books she had used during the class back into their place, she finally realized what had bothered her about the entire thing. Dumbledore had been the one to tell Snape to take over Morgan's class, and therefore he must've known that he wouldn't find him down here. That means he had either come here to wait for Snape, which was unlikely, or he had meant to seek out Robin in the first place. In which case he surely had known that she possessed the particular spellbook as well. And he had lied to her without her even noticing in the slightest. But… why on earth would he do any of that?

She frowned to herself, lost in thought until the door was opened once again, without a knock this time. Robin didn't even have to look up to know who it was, but by the time she did, he was standing in front of her already.

"What is it with you and that desk?" Snape quirked an eyebrow at her, and while he was undoubtedly humored rather than annoyed by her having claimed it as her seat yet again, Robin could also see that Morgan's class had taken its toll on him.

"It's the best spot in the entire room. Of course I had to have it." She shrugged with a smile, but stayed right where she was. "How did the seventh years fare with you?"

"It is safe to say they weren't too fond of having me as a replacement. Perhaps because they are unaccustomed to having a competent teacher, or perhaps because I simply demanded more of them than what they are used to. But truly I think it was a matter of personal distaste in the end." He replied in a sigh between exhaustion and annoyance, and Robin suddenly realized that she enjoyed being trapped between him and the desk way too much. She pushed the inappropriate thought out of her mind in an instant, and at the same time he did her the favor of sitting down next to her instead. "I tend to forget that people other than you and me are quite fond of Morgan."

"People other than you and me are bloody idiots."

"Indeed." He looked down at Robin with a not-smirk and an almost openly curious expression. "So, how was having your own class full of idiots?"

"Not half as bad as I expected, actually." She smiled up at him in return. "I did a revision of the entire year with them just like you suggested, but I tried to explain things a bit differently than you do. Perhaps it helped some of them understand it better."

"Did you really?"

"Yes! But honestly, I was more surprised by the fact that they respected me as an authority in the first place. Which means that, other than them being complete dunderhead like almost all students are, they were actually quite manageable."

"I am not sure which class you taught, but it certainly wasn't mine."

Robin laughed at the comment, and nudged him in the side with her shoulder. Something she had dared doing more often recently, and he had never protested. "It most definitely was your class of dunderheads! But they seemed to appreciate having me as a replacement. One girl even came to talk to me afterwards, and after getting her to stop crying, I told her to see you tomorrow morning."

"Why, pray tell, would you do that to me?"

"She needs help!" Robin rolled her eyes at him exaggeratedly, a statement in both directions. "And I already did the hard part for you, so you really only will have to tell her what she can do to catch up with the class."

"Who was it?"

"How am I supposed to know!?" Robin huffed with a laugh. "They're your students, not mine. She was tiny and cried a lot."

"They are twelve-year-olds, they all are tiny." Snape quirked an eyebrow at her. "Could you be a bit more specific?"

"Black hair, bushy eyebrows, really tan skin… Ravenclaw I believe."

"I see. She is rather clever, but has been doing poorly in class for a while now. And she came to you asking for help?"

"Basically, yes. I already explained to her why she needs to learn the basics of potion making, but you will know better what she can work on to actually improve. So I told her to see you tomorrow morning to get the help she needs."

"I was under the impression that you and I were friends. Why would you put me through that?"

"Because you're the professor! Dealing with students is your job!" Robin laughed, shaking her head to herself as she finally got up from the desk once more. "I'm not going to do all your work for you, you know."

"I never expected that of you." He replied in a sudden seriousness. "I never expected any of this, in fact, nor would I ever take your help for granted like that."

"I know." She gave him a small and hopefully reassuring smile. "And you hopefully know that I'm always more than happy to help you, no matter what."

"I do. Thank you." His grave expression made way for the usual calm, which in return made Robin sigh under her breath as he spoke on. "Still, you went out of your way to do me a favor, which means I owe you."

"Hardly." Robin replied with another humored huff. "You help me all the time, in so many ways, this really is the least I can do for you in return. You don't owe me anything."

"In my humble opinion, I very much do."

"Fine, if you insist on it… I will keep it in mind." She sighed, in the knowledge that arguing with him was pointless whenever he had set his mind to something. Instead she came to stand right in front of him now and motioned toward the office. "How about pre-dinner coffee? I still haven't told you about the little visit Dumbledore paid me after class."

"Why do I get the feeling that your afternoon was way more interesting than mine?"

"You're already right about that and you haven't even heard the story yet. Impressive."

"Let me prepare the coffee and you will have my fullest attention."

… … …

The last two weeks before Robin's two N.E.W.T. exams were filled with too much studying and too little sleep. From before breakfast until after dinner she studied for the theoretical part, often enough without actually attending the meals, and after dinner she would practice for the practical examination with Snape. He ended up giving her a mock exam based on what he remembered from his own N.E.W.T.s a few days before the tests, and Robin had a very hard time not crying over how much effort he actually put into helping her. It probably was a bit unfair, especially since he most definitely would never do this for any of the other students (nor any other person in general), but since he wasn't going to be the one testing nor grading her in the end, they both simply chose to ignore that fact. Life just wasn't fair, and if Robin was on the losing end so very often, she believed that she could also allow herself to be on the winning end for once. And really, if one looked at it in a different light, the only advantage she had in the end was that she had the most capable and competent study partner possible.

But there also was another problem, of an entirely different kind. Robin still had to take the normal end-of-the-year exams for all her other sixth year classes, which meant that times were prone to overlap. Once she had realized that a few days in advance, she had straight out panicked, right until Snape had dragged her to Flitwick's office and seen to it that the sixth year charms exam would be moved to a different time. Really, Flitwick was a helpful person in the end and once Robin had managed to state the situation more or less calmly, it had been beyond easy to reschedule his exam.

With the second test that needed to be moved however, they weren't so lucky. Morgan, of course, saw no reason to change the time of his exam just to accustom the 'pathetic ambitions' of one single student, and even Snape couldn't get him to change his mind. By that time Robin was on edge enough to burst, anxious beyond reason, and of course Morgan didn't have a hard time noticing and taking advantage of it in return. He didn't move his exam, and probably hoped that it would cause as many negative consequences for Robin as possible in one way or the other. Unfortunately for him, he had made that calculation without Dumbledore, who upon hearing of the issue demanded for the test to be rescheduled indeed.

Finally, and luckily enough, alchemy and magical creatures had originally been scheduled for such odd times anyway that they didn't pose a problem, and thus eventually all exams fit into Robin's week without overlap. Thank God… or rather, thanks to Snape. While Robin had always done the talking and made the requests, he had been the one to drag her around and make her do so in the first place. He had seen to it that she didn't just stay hidden in her rabbithole of anxiety and stress, and Robin was eternally grateful for that.

The exams came, and Robin found that NEWTs were exactly the same as the OWLs, just a tad more difficult. Fine, a lot more difficult. But she was well prepared, and sincerely believed that she had answered everything to her best abilities. The sixth year exams in comparison to that were a mess. She had spent so much time preparing for the two, way more important NEWT exams that she had hardly studied for the sixth year subjects at all, and she definitely noticed that during the tests. Too bad the bloody day only had 24 hours for her to use to study… But oh well, the sixth year exams didn't actually count for anything other than her pride after all, so perhaps it was alright not to get perfect grades in them for once. Or so she tried to tell herself, at least.

Practical potions was the last examination of the bunch, on Friday afternoon, and it honestly was the easiest out of them all. They were asked to brew a variety of minor draughts and serums, all of which Robin had excessively practiced for, and both she and the examiners (those nasty folks sent by the ministry) were surprised when she finished more than half an hour earlier than any of the regular seventh year students. Uncertain of what to do with her, the ministry workers had her check her work again, but Robin still discovered no flaw in it, so they reluctantly let her go already.

A week later, Friday in the second week of June, the normal exam results were released, and Robin found herself mostly devastated. She had been able to uphold her Outstanding in magical creatures, but that was the only good result she had gotten and the only thing that kept her from crying. In charms and alchemy she had barely made it to an Acceptable, while Morgan had actually gone all out and given her a Dreadful. Really, in Robin's eyes it couldn't have gone much worse.

When she sat in the office with Snape the night after the results had been released, sulking and trying very hard not to cry, the only thing that made her smile in the end was when he offered to break into Morgan's office and steal her exam to have a look at it and quite possibly prove that Morgan's grade was unjustified. While the offer was tempting, and it astonished Robin to see that he was actually quite seriously about it, she declined nonetheless. He would only end up getting in trouble for that, and she wouldn't have that for anything at all. It was only a bad grade that didn't even matter. A grade that counted for nothing. But it was very hard to remind herself of that from time to time nonetheless.

Sunday was the last day of the term, and as always it was accompanied by the obligatory end-of-term feast to celebrate the evening. It usually was a dull ceremony for everyone but the seventh years, so Robin found herself paying little to no attention to the lengthy speech and words of wisdom Dumbledore had to offer to this year's graduates. Neither did she listen to Cas and Jorien though, who were discussing Cas' failed attempt to convince her parents to let her visit Simon over the summer. They still were together and happy in their relationship at this point… obviously Robin had been wrong about them. At least Cas had started treating her boyfriend AND her friends as equal parts in her life after the incident in March, so it was a good thing that both had prevailed after all.

For the moment, Robin found herself amused at the sight of a seventh year Hufflepuff girl who clumsily made her way towards the front after being called up. Time for this year's honour roll, it seemed. All the seventh years had dressed up in their fancy robes and ball gowns for the night, a thing that had only started becoming an actual thing last year. But obviously not everyone could or should walk on high heels just because it was allowed on graduation night, and the sight just was too amusing to Robin not to snicker over. Poor Hufflepuff…

A boulder of a boy followed a few seconds later, a Gryffindor this time, and he came to stand next to the tiny Hufflepuff girl in the front. Robin wondered which subject he had been best in to make it onto the list, but to get an answer to that she would've had to start actually listening from the start. A few more people followed upon that, and Robin thought that this really was the most dreadful part of the evening, until a particular name caught her by surprise.

"Julius Campton," Dumbledore called out, "Top of the year in Divination."

The majority of people applauded like they had before, and Robin found herself frowning deeply as the boy in question made his way towards the front. She hadn't expected him to be good at anything, especially not divination. It was an easier subject, admittedly, but one needed to be a certain kind of person to actually be more than just good in it. And Julius wasn't that kind of person. Oh well… obviously she had been wrong about that yet again. Should the arse enjoy his honours, who cares…

"Lucinda Sparks," The headmaster went on in the same loud voice that Robin couldn't ignore anymore now, "Top of the year in Arithmancy and History of Magic."

If Robin wasn't mistaken, this was the older sister of her ex-roommate Melody. Who would've thought that their family also had children who weren't bloody idiots? Definitely not something Robin had expected. And anyway, why did those seventh years have their N.E.W.T. results already while Robin was still anxiously waiting for hers?!

"Robin Mitchell," Dumbledore called out, and Robin's blood froze in her veins while half of the Slytherin table fell into dead silence alongside her, "Top of the year in Potions and Herbology."

Oh god. What? No way… This was some practical joke, it had to be. Perhaps there was someone who had the same name a year above her. But when she looked around, nobody else was getting up from their seat, and when her gaze met Dumbledore's, he gave her the subtlest nod in history. Oh bloody hell… This wasn't supposed to happen.

Robin's legs made her get up on their own account, while her mind still wouldn't quite grasp the situation. She wasn't part of this graduating year, she wasn't supposed to be on the honour roll! At least not now… not when everyone looked at her like she was an alien amongst them. Approximately six people clapped as she made her way towards the front, four of them being seated at the head table, which however was barely registered in her head. She took her place next to the other students by Dumbledore's side, while the next person was called on already, but she still couldn't focus on anything other than the racing of her heart and the churning of her stomach. 

This perhaps was even worse than her first ever day here. Because back then, she had just been one of many, a new face like everyone else. Now however most of the people (who still hadn't ceased gaping at her) knew exactly who she was, and it gave them all the more reason to hate her for standing here. In a place she wasn't supposed to be in, a place meant for some seventh year who was probably working way harder to get here than she ever had. Honestly, the honour roll had been an annoying joke to her until five minutes ago. She hadn't even listened to the bloody ceremony for that past six years, for heaven's sake!!! But now she stood up here in front of the head table, next to people who didn't know why she was here, looked at by people who didn't think she deserved to be here, and yet she was. Top of the year in potions and herbology. Bloody hell.

Three more people took their places next to Robin in the line of students, and it was only then that she realized that she was the only one wearing her school uniform. Everyone else was elegantly clad in dress robes. Great… At least the fitted black robes she had been wearing throughout the entire year were actually fancy enough to somehow keep up with the ball gowns of the other girls. Not that it mattered much in this case, she couldn't care less about looks, but it was something to ease her anxious nerves at least. Something other to focus on than the jealous and distasteful looks the people were throwing at her from the students' tables.

People applauded once more, for all the students up front, while Dumbledore and McGonagall handed out a certificate to each student. Robin took hers from McGonagall thankfully, and the professor offered her a small smile before moving on to the next person. At least Robin wasn't as unpopular among the professors as she'd thought… the head of Gryffindor seemed to like her well enough after all, even if she was in a rivaling house. Half a minute later, everyone went back to their seats without any ado, and Dumbledore went on with his speech for the graduates for a little while, but ultimately declared the beginning of the feast.

Robin didn't feel hungry anymore, even when she was safely sitting together with her two roommates again, who however were happily indulging in the meal themselves. They'd congratulated her for her honours, being sincerely happy for her in that at least, but ultimately they had no mind for the actual meaning of it. It was just a piece of paper after all, and they were still so far from away graduating that Robin honestly couldn't blame them for their short lived interest in the topic. Her mind however couldn't quite put the issue to rest, especially since she didn't even know her grades yet. How could they declare her best in a subject if she didn't have a grade? Or did Dumbledore know more than everyone else did, like always? From what she picked up out of snippets of conversations at her table, nobody else had their results yet either, so that at least was good to hear. Perhaps she should just be happy about her success, and let it be reassurance enough that her hard work had paid off. No matter if she thought she deserved it or not.

When she finally dared looking towards the head table, her eyes met Snape's immediately and that alone melted some of the tension in her body and mind in an instant. At least one person in the room seemed to think she deserved the honours, going by the barely-even-there expression of pride on his face. Then he quirked an eyebrow at her in feigned surprise, putting on that mask of perfect indifference, and Robin finally had to smile again. He just had a way of cheering her up in any situation, without even doing much at all. For another moment they simply looked at each other through the busy space between them, then the corner of his lips twitched for not even a broken second, and Robin looked back down at her yet empty plate with a smile. If that hadn't been an invitation for coffee later, she would return those honours straight away.

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[sapphirelass]

What family is all about - Weasley FamilyxWeasley!Sister

Hiiiiiii!!! It’s... been a while. Again. Let’s face it, I’ll never be able to post as often as I’d like. I just don’t like rushing stuff, or posting anything I’m not happy with, so...

Anyhow, I LOVED writing for the Weasley family, and I’ll most likely do it again soon. Bill and Charlie are both underrated characters in my opinion and I had a ton of fun letting them ‘shine’ (despite this being a sort of sad story, but that always seems to be where I end up... XD)

Also, I might have to edit this once more, but it’s late, I have not posted in about two weeks and I just want to go to sleep XD That being said, take it for what it is, and I’ll try to correct any grammatical errors later. Good night! <3

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Please note:

1: I don’t own any of the gifs used, nor any already established characters, so credit to the authors and original creators - You have done a phenomenal job :)

2: English is not my native language, as I was born and raised in Sweden. I have, however, studied English for almost a decade, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem, I just thought I’d let you know ;)

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Word count: ≈ 2800 (they just keep getting longer, don’t they? XD)

Warnings: Light swearing, blood, angst

Enjoy! :)

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That’s what family is all about 

“How big did his tongue get?”

“It was four feet long before his parents would let me shrink it!”

The sound of laughter was heard from the kitchen as Elwira Weasley entered her childhood home. She worked as an arithmancer, and had been stationed at a research-facility in the northern parts of Sweden for the past few years. Her work took up most of her time, but she had just travelled home to go see the quidditch final with her dad, older brother Bill, twin brother Charlie and all their younger siblings.

“It isn’t funny”, her dad shouted. “That sort of behaviour seriously undermines wizard-muggle relations! I spend half my life campaigning against the mistreatment of muggles, and my own sons-”

“Are just a wee bit too daft to understand that!”

She walked through the door and found her entire family, plus two other people she didn’t know, all sitting or standing around the kitchen table.

“Ellie?!”

Her older brother and twin, with whom she had always been extremely close, both made their way across the room and pulled her into a hug so tight she could barely breathe.

“Blimey! ‘ello Bill, hey Charlie! Long time no see, huh?”

“Certainly!”, their mother exclaimed while pushing the two oldest sons to the side as she tried to get a good look at her grown-up daughter. “Not a single visit since Christmas, Elwira Weasley, we’ve had to do with owls for six months?!”

“Sorry, mum, there’s been a lot of work to do… I thought I’d stay for the rest of the summer though, if that’s okay with you?”

“Of course, dear! Have you eaten yet?”

“No, I’m famished!”

Mrs Weasley went off to get another plate, and Ellie, after greeting everyone and being introduced to Harry and Hermione, took a seat between her dad and youngest brother.

“So Ronald? Had a good term?”

“Err.. Sure? Nothing interesting except for the stuff I wrote to you about, though.”

“Well you’re going into your fourth year now - almost halfway through!” She paused for a moment and turned to her father. “You good dad? You seem a bit… tense?”

Arthur looked up from his plate and sent his daughter a kind smile.

“Don’t worry about it, darling. Hosting the world cup comes with a great deal of problems all with the need to be solved. Admittedly, it’s not really part of my job, but the entire ministry becomes quite chaotic when something like that is days away. I’m a bit stressed, that’s all. How are things up in Scandinavia?”

“They’re… somewhat slow to be honest. There’s so much work to do between like October and February, but in the summer it’s mostly filing and other boring bits of paperwork.”

“Elwira?”, Hermione asked. “Sorry, I’m just curious, what is it that you do? Ron’s never told us…”

“That’s probably cause Ron doesn’t understand what I’m doing”, she smirked, “but of course, I work with, and study, arithmancy which, as you might know, is part of what’s called ‘natural magic’.”

“Great!”, mumbled Ron quietly, making sure only his friends and older sister heard. “Hermione, there are four rules in this house, okay? One: Don’t ask Charlie about dragons, Two: Don’t ask Percy about anything, Three: Don’t ask dad about muggles, and Four: Don’t ask Ellie about her job. Break either and you’ll be stuck listening to a five hour lecture.”

 Hermione didn’t seem to be bored though, so Ellie ignored her brother’s comment and continued. 

“It’s the type of magic that has been studied and worshiped since ancient times and has a very strong connection with nature. The natural phenomena with the strongest affiliation with magic is, while they in themselves have what the muggles would call a ‘scientific explanation’, the northern lights. Meaning it’s only when they’re visible that we can make any significant progress.”

Ellie paused and glanced at the younger girl, trying to see whether she had caught on or not, and was happy when realizing that she had.

“And... “, questioned Hermione, “the northern lights are only visible north of the polar circle and b-”

“Between September and March, exactly… Meaning there’s sadly not that much advanced research that can be done during the rest of the year…”

“It’s still a fascinating subject though. I only started last year, but I love it.”

“I’m glad! At least some people appreciate the wonderful art that is arithmancy, Ronald!”

Ron looked up at the mention of his name and met his sister’s gaze. 

“I just don’t find it interesting”, he said.  

“Right, because you ha-”

Ellie didn’t get to finish her sentence before being interrupted by her twin brother.

“Hey, Ellie? Must have been fun watching the Nordic versus Germany, huh?”

“Oh shut up, Charlie!”, she groaned while putting her head in her hands. “Holy Merlin…” The Nordic National Quidditch team, of which she had become a huge supporter in the last few years, had suffered a HORRENDOUS loss against Germany, and it had certainly not been a fun night. 

Her brother, however, did not shut up, but instead burst out laughing.  

“Charlie, it’s not funny!! You should have been there though… You’d have done a much better job than the stand-in seeker we had.”

“What were the results again? 700-20?”

“... 520 actually”

“520 to??”, Bill said mockingly

“You’re idiots both of you… 520-0, happy now?”

Ellie hadn’t realized that everyone else around the table had been listening in on their conversation, but was made aware when Fred, George, Harry, Ron, Ginny and Arthur began laughing loudly.

“Why is this so funny to everyone? England lost badly too, and neither Romania nor Egypt even qualified to compete?!”

“Yeah...”, began Fred.

“But none of them lost with 520 points.”, finished George, earning himself a furious look from his older sister who stood up and shook her head.

“I’ll go see if mum needs any help…”

~~~~~~

Ellie loved her family, and therefore all her slightly annoying brothers, beyond everything, but being away from them for months and then meeting them all at the same time was TIRING! Having no desire to sleep through the world cup, she decided to go to bed early the night before, and she had barely closed her eyes before she fell asleep...

~~~~~~

“3, 2 ‘shhhh, quiet!”

Ellie took notice of the obnoxiously loud whispers, but it wasn’t enough to fully wake her up.

“We’ve got one more chance, 3, 2, 1, ELLIE!!!!”

She woke up instantly and sent a blast of blue sparks towards her older brother, barely missing him by an inch.

“What ‘ru doing, El? You can’t just go attacking people?!”

He tried to sound angry, but failed miserably, a heartwarming laugh escaping his mouth.

“You bloody idiots?! Why’d you scare me like that? You’re 21 and 23, not five?”

“Brings back memories, doesn’t it? Do you remember-”

“Yes, I do!”. She rubbed her eyes slowly, “‘85, look can you two please let me sleep?”

“Sorry, sis”, said Bill. “We’re leaving in half an hour. The kids and dad left ages ago.”

“Yeah, you don’t want to be late do you? Not when you can cheer for a team that might not loo-”

“Charlie, I swear!”

~~~~~~

The match was fantastic! Ellie would never admit it to her brothers, but it was nice to watch an even one for once. Watching and cheering with her family brought back fond memories of childhood games at the Burrow or Hogwarts, and she realized just how much she had missed actually playing. They stayed up late discussing players and tactics, but eventually their father ushered them all off to bed. 

~~~~~~

“Ellie?”

“Ellie??”

She stirred slightly and pulled the sleeping bag tighter around her.

“Ellie! Damn it, wake up!”

She opened her eyes slowly and saw her twin brother bent above her. The sight made her sigh.

“Charlie”, she mumbled. “We see each other once- or twice a year nowadays, do you really feel obligated to wake me up every time you get the chance?”

“Elwira, I’m serious! Get up!”

This caught her attention. Sure, the twins often used their full names when messing with each other, but it didn’t sound like Charlie was joking at all. She sat up, rubbed the sleep from her eyes and yawned loudly.

“What’s going on? Wha- Charlie? It’s still dark out? Why’d yo-”

“Ellie, c’mon. We have to help dad. Someone’s attacking the muggles.”

He threw his sister a jacket and pulled her out of the tent. Arthur, Bill and Percy were all waiting outside.

“Dad?”, she asked. “What’s happening? Charlie sai-”

“We’ve got to help the ministry!”, he said while frantically trying to count everyone and make sure they were there. “Fred, George, you make sure the others are safe. Go wait in the woods and I’ll come for you when the situation’s under control. Bill, Charlie, Percy, Ellie, let’s see if there’s something we can do.”

Nobody questioned Mr Weasley’s instructions, and immediately left in different directions. There were people everywhere though, and the two directions quickly became three, four, six. Spells and curses were fired left, right and centre and Ellie found herself disarming and stunning at least a few death eaters. There weren’t that many of them, roughly thirty or so, but the insane amount of witches and wizards fleeing the campsite made it difficult to fight back. She couldn’t risk hitting any random bloke.

While duelling a tall man in a black mask, Ellie suddenly stumbled forward, a particularly nasty curse having hit her straight in the back. Falling to the ground felt way more painful than it should have, and her wand landed well beyond her reach. She groaned as a burning pain spread through her lower back, but made an effort to get back up anyways. She did, however, not make it very far before the sharp end of a wand dug into her throat.

The death eater behind her sniggered and pulled her up by the collar of her shirt.

“Well, well, well… Why’re you trying to ruin our fun?”

He stood way too close for comfort and Ellie felt his breath on her neck. She tried to answer, but the curse that was shot at her must have hit its intended target, as all that came out when she opened her mouth was a strained cough and warm blood.

The bloke holding her let out a dark chuckle and threw her to the ground. She could barely keep her eyes open, and a thick, red liquid oozed from the wound in her back.

“Not so high-and-mighty now, are we?”

Ellie lacked the strength to fight back, and to the death eaters that seemed to take all the fun out of the situation. They set off back towards the campsite, leaving Ellie on the ground next to a few pines. She tried her very best to sit up, but ended up passing out…

~~~~~~

“Charlie?!”

Bill ran up to his younger brother and pulled him in for a quick, one-armed hug.

“Charlie, you okay? We’ve got to get back to the tent. Where’s El?”

“Wha-, I-I thought she was with you?!?”

“What? Last I saw her you were together?”

The brothers shared a lock of utter terror.

“Bill, we have to find her!”

“I know… Dad went to get the kids and Percy’s back in the tent waiting.”

“There’s no time to waste then. Let’s go”

~~~~~~

They had been running around the camping grounds for half an hour, and there was still not a trace of a living soul - let alone the special one they were searching for. At first, they had been shouting her name at the top of their lungs, but were now walking silently. That was, at least, until a shout made both of them turn around.

“Bill! Charlie! What are you doing? I told you to stay in the tent?”

Arthur Weasley came running towards them, with Harry, Ron and Hermione following close behind.

“Dad!”, Charlie shouted. “Have you seen El? We can’t find her?”

“What?”, asked Arthur. “But she was with you, wasn’t she?”

“Yes, at first, but we must have gotten separated… Dad, is that? You know?”

He threw a dark glance at the skull and snake decorating the night sky and said, “Yes. Yes it is. Look, I’ll take Ron, Hermione and Harry back to the tent, and I’ll meet you back here in ten minutes, okay? Don’t go too far. Come on kids!”

~~~~~~

Just as the brothers were about to give up, go back to the clearing, wait for their dad and hopefully find both their sisters safe and sound, Bill noticed something. A glimpse of red in the moonlight…

“Charlie? Get over here fast!”

The younger brother followed Bill’s gaze and immediately set off through the forest when his eyes found a mess of ginger hair sticking out from behind a rather large pine. Bill followed closely behind.

“ELLIE!!!?!!”

Charlie stumbled to his knees and turned his sister around, trying to get a better look at her. He pressed his hand to her wrist and breathed a sigh of relief when he found a pulse.

“She’s alive”, he mumbled. “Bill, she’s alive!”

“Good. I- Good.” Bill was lost for words too and mumbled a quick “Let me see”.

He pushed some hair out of her eyes and searched for any clues to what had hit her. He was a curse-breaker after all, but that usually meant working with curses placed on things or places, not people. 

“Charlie, I-I don’t know what that is… it’s not a curse I’m familiar with and I’m no healer… You want to carry her?”

“Of course”

Charlie brought his twin into his arms and picked her up, her bruised, limp body threatening to fall unless he held on tight enough. The brothers walked back to the clearing where they’d promised to meet their dad, but kept a close watch on their sister. They would apparate, though at the moment none of them felt like they had much time for ‘Deliberation’. It wasn’t very far anyways.

~~~~~~

“DAD!”, Bill shouted as soon as they noticed Arthur in the clearing where they were supposed to wait.

“Boys! Didn’t I tell you t-”

“We’ll take that later, Dad, you’ve got to help her!?”

Arthur Weasley was speechless, which had most likely never happened before, and Charlie felt so helpless. This was worse than his worst nightmares, and there was nothing he could do. Had it been a wounded dragon, sure, he knew loads about them, but this?

“Dad?”, asked Bill. “What can we do?”

“Right. Er… I suppose there’s no use trying to get you to wait here?”, he said while looking at Charlie who frantically shook his head. “Right, Bill could you go back to Percy and the kids? Fill them in on what happened? Then Charlie and I’ll take Ellie to St Mungos, okay?”

Bill didn’t look too happy with the idea, but nodded nonetheless.

---

“Charlie sit down!”

“Fred, he can’t”, said George. “Hey, I think you missed a spot over there, Charles”

“Shut it both of you! Honestly, why am I the only one that’s worried?”

Arthur stood up and put an arm around his son.

“Listen, we’re all worried, but walking back and forth isn’t helping anyone. Just sit for a moment, huh?”

“No, dad, you don’t understand! It’s my fault. We were supposed to stick together! I let her out of my sight...I-”

“Charlie, we all-”

“No, Bill, you don’t get it either, I should-”

“-let your sister sleep for once? That’d be greatly appreciated, thank you.”

The entire family turned at once, and found the oldest daughter struggling to sit up.

“EL!!”

Charlie stumbled over and put a hand on his sister’s back, trying to help her up, but unfortunately placing it right where the curse had hit her.

“Auch!”

She moved away from his touch and he pulled his hand back immediately.

“Blimey, Ellie I’m so s-”

“Charlie, it’s good. Don’t worry about it.”

Ellie pulled her brother into a hug, though he was now extremely careful, and she looked over his shoulder at the rest of her family. Her eyes met Bill’s and he sent her a kind smile. She gestured for him to come join them, and eventually the whole family found themselves in a loving group hug. Molly did her very best to wrap her arms around all her children, desperately trying to convince herself that they were all there - safe and sound and loved. 

Because if there was one thing the Weasleys had a lot of, it was love and that is, after all, precisely what family is all about.

~ L

Masterlist

[lovelivingmydreams]

A story by heroes and villains

Logan Anker: Pupil

In learning you will teach, and in teaching you will learn.

Sweets had been gushing about 10b for two years when Logan finally caved and decided to put aside his opinion on under age heroes in training and take a look for himself.

He had to admit, he seemed to be very talented. Most people had two abilities at the most.

10b, however exhibited enhanced strength and speed, flight, several shields, projectile and close combat weaponry. And he had excellent control of all of those.

He nodded to Sweets, who called out to the young hero in training as he finished off his target practice sequence.

“Good Job 10.b.” The kid, because no one could fool Logan, this child was nowhere near finishing high school, looked around and lower himself to the ground, eying Logan curiously.

Or at least, that is what Logan gathered from his body language since the protective gear was hiding the hero in training’s face.

A child. Around Virgil’s age. He might’ve be been in Virgil’s class at some point. A boy who thinks he can face what is out there. He knows Thomas hasn’t told this potential hero about Him yet.

It was Logan’s job to make sure the hero was ready for that information, for the world.

The hero was looking him up and down. Logan had updated his disguise from his old villain getup to a more inconspicuous outfit. One he could be seen wearing in the normal world, though he had it shift colors between a friendlier grey and sometimes navy blue to the deep black he chose for the meetings in the basement. His shading and voice modulating technology had gotten even better and was now integrated in his tie and his glasses. Making for a seamless transition from entering the elevator as Logan to exiting as Brainstorm.

“10.b, this is Mr. BrainStorm. He’ll be assisting us with training and provide you with the tech you need to be the best hero you can be,” Sweets explained.

The shocked reaction was expected. 10b was on edge. Logan supposed he should make him more comfortable around him if they were to work together.

“I see my reputation still manages to precede me,” he stated as calmly as he could. Though he really whished it didn’t. It’d been well over a decade since he’d done anything that made the papers in a bad way. His creations and discoveries had gotten him more than a little credit. The new police chief was actually giving him the benefit of the doubt now, while the former chief had treated him like a criminal every chance he got.

At the end it got so bad that he’d had to hold his talisman clenched in his fist every time the man was in the same building, or even on tv.

Chief Davies was firm and called him out when she needed to. But she truly did have his back when he needed her to support his ideas.

Sometimes he wished he could publish his research under his own name. He wanted Virgil to see the good he put into the world and be proud of him. But that might lead to pesky questions. Ordinary professors didn’t work on the level he did. And he couldn’t draw any attention to himself. Lest He take notice.

On the subject of his son though. Thanks to Virgil he had connected with his students a lot better the past few years. And if he was right about this boy’s age, his experiences with Virgil might help him connect with the young hero too.

“Would it be more comforting if I told you that the initials of my moniker are no coincidence?”

A second’s silence and then an artificially deepened snicker. Success.

“I suspected you might find this funny. I came up with it when I was about your age and thought it was really clever of me. Though I didn’t actually use it until I was closer to twenty.”

Logan was glad his face was hidden, because if anyone could see the pain in his eyes now…

He’d been 19 to be exact. Freshman in college, close friends with Thomas. When Caleb…

And then Helena got the diagnosis… He’d wanted to help. Needed to help.

He didn’t even talk to her long enough to let her tell him her good news… Not until that last day. And then he’d gotten mad. He’d been hurt, angry with her and himself.

And that was the last conversation he’d ever had with his big sister…

“10.b” his new pupil introduced himself as he offered his hand.

Logan appreciated the young man’s restraint. Many would ask him all about his past given the chance. But 10b didn’t. He nodded his appreciation and accepted the offered hand. “BrainStorm.”

Training 10b was a rather interesting endeavor.

Driven was one word to describe him. That much was clear. Logan tried to make him understand that even he had limits. But so far, he struggled to find one.

10b just kept outdoing himself. He was almost tempted to let him go out. But…

“So? Am I ready yet?” Even through the voice modulation Logan could hear the hopeful tone in his voice. 10b was still far too eager for approval. And that was a dangerous thing to want as a hero.

So Logan just shook his head. “No.”

The most concerning example of his stubbornness and need to prove himself was when he kept training from noon to almost midnight with almost no breaks one late summer day.

Logan would be annoyed, he would’ve liked to spend some of the last day of summer with his son, but he was more worried.

“Go home. Your body can’t keep up with your stubbornness. I’m sure you have places to be tomorrow.”

The boy grunted. “I’m not done…” he insisted.

“I am.” Logan turned and left the campus, hoping that his absence would force the boy to quit for the night.

When he arrived home, he planned to check in on Virgil who should be fast asleep at this hour, before getting to bed himself.

But instead he was tackled by his sobbing son. It’d been half a decade since Virgil had hugged him as soon as he walked through the door. After that he had started to learn that his father was not truly comfortable with physical closeness and had made an effort to at least warn him when he needed a hug.

“You are back. I thought… You’re never out this late and… I thought something bad had happened.”

Virgil rambled as he sobbed into his shirt.

“It’s okay Virgil. I’m alright. I’m sorry, I forgot to let you know work was running late.” He hated keeping secrets from Virgil. But it had regretfully become a habit of his it seemed.

He still didn’t talk about Helena or Caleb, despite the fact that Virgil had asked about them a few times in the past already. He had a right to know. But whenever he tried to talk about them to him, his throat closed up and fear and shame overtook him.

And he couldn’t even think about telling him about his powers, his mistakes and therefore his redemption or his second job. So whenever he had to train 10b he said he had to work on a project.

He’d thought Virgil had been fine. Though he noticed that he’d gotten more quiet since he started high school. In light of recent events, that might not have been just normal teenage behavior.

He had figured, if his son was struggling, he would tell him… apparently not.

“It’s alright Virgil. I’m here. We’re both alright,” he muttered.

It took him about thirty minutes to calm Virgil down.

He brought him up to his bedroom and tucked him in.

“We’ll talk about this tomorrow when you get back from school alright? Try to sleep,” he instructed.

“Okay,” Virgil murmured as he pulled the blanket closer to himself.

Before leaving in the morning, Logan checked in on Virgil and found him curled up in his bed, sound asleep. He was about to leave when he noticed Virgil was holding something. Upon closer inspection he saw that it was the old stitch doll , wearing Virgil’s comfort blanket as a cape.

Had they been moved back to the bed at some point since the last time Logan saw them on Virgil’s desk? Or was this something he only did when he needed the extra comfort?

Logan didn’t think Virgil would tell him even if he asked. So he made a note to pay more attention to the doll’s location whenever he came up to the room. If nothing else it might be an indicator to Virgil’s mood. It would be something to consider later.

In class he had a hard time concentrating. He expected as much and apologized in advance.

He greeted each class by looking through his note cards, though after the first he didn’t need to, he found that the ritual was part of the appeal for his students.

“Good day everyone. I’m afraid I’ll be a bit off my ‘game’ today. Suffice it to say, the past night was a as you say ‘big oof’,” he held up the card and flashed it to his students.

A chuckle ran through the class and he smirked, feeling a little bit better after every time.

During lunch hour he called Picani. It’d been a while, but he needed some help and another session.

“He couldn’t breathe. He was terrified. He was… I’ve never felt so helpless,” he confessed quietly.

“Well, sounds like Virgil is certainly dealing with some things. I of course can’t be sure after just this one conversation but could you answer a few questions for me?”

Logan tugged at his hair. “Yes of course.”

Picani proceeded to list a few observable behaviors, things  Logan had in fact noticed in Virgil. Small changes that just seemed logical developments from certain things he’d had since childhood. But, as it turned out…

“I would have to talk to Virgil in person to be sure. But from what you told me, he might have heightened levels of anxiety.”

Logan thought about that. That made a good amount of sense.

“Can you… I’m pretty sure he won’t want to talk about this. If he did, he would have done so already. But is there a list of some sort he could fill out? I’d like to be more certain before I bring up anxiety.”

Picani sent him a list and instructions on how to interpret them. He printed them out and was just reading through them when there was a knock on his door.

“Yes?” he called.

“Hi there Logie! How are classes going?” Patton asked as he walked in.

“Hello Patton. Classes are going satisfactory,” he informed him pleasantly.

“But…”

Logan chuckled. “Nothing gets past you does it?” Patton was a god sent. He was patient with Logan’s social ineptness and didn’t mind if he ranted about Virgil or whatever scientific article had his attention at the moment during most of their conversations. He didn’t ask about his past, he didn’t press if he didn’t want to talk about what upset him in the present. He was amazing.

Logan had fallen for Patton Bonair and hard. He felt like an idiot. Like a middle schooler unable to just tell his crush that he liked him.

But would Virgil be able to handle such a big change? Would he like Patton? Would Patton be able to handle forever having to take second place in Logan’s life?

Too many variables. Patton wouldn’t even be interested in him in the first place.

Things worked fine right now.

“Just teenage trouble. Nothing you can do about it I am afraid. How are you?” he asked. Patton nodded, accepting the change of subject.

Logan didn’t have any evening classes, and 10b had no training planned today, so he was home first and made a pot of chamomile as he waited for Virgil.

“Home!” Virgil’s voice came from the hallway followed by the sound of a closing door.

“Kitchen!” Logan replied as he poured two cups from the pot.

Virgil sat down and accepted the cup Logan handed him.

Once they both sat down Logan looked at Virgil, feeling hurt when he saw his son avoiding his eyes. When had that started? He had thought a lot about what Virgil might be going through and why he wasn’t aware until now.

He landed on the reason Virgil had given about not telling him about bullies.

“Virgil, I want you to know that you are not in trouble. I am not mad or upset with you in any way. Alright?” Virgil nodded, still not quite meeting his eyes.

Logan pressed on, speaking gently to ensure that he didn’t give Virgil the idea that he was frustrated or hurt.

“Last night… Was that the first time you went through something like that?”

What little progress Virgil had made in looking at him vanished in a second. His hands tightened around his mug. “No…” he admitted. Logan had feared as much, but still it stung to know his son had suffered on his own. Or maybe, hopefully, Janus had been there for him. Like he’d been there for the bullies.

“Sometimes I just think too much and I worry and then I freak out and… It always passes, but it’s…” His voice started shaking and Logan caught the glistening of tears in his eyes.

Logan recalled Virgil’s behavior of the night before, the thought’s he’d mentioned running through his head. Imagined being in his place.

“Frightening I’m sure.” His statement finally got Virgil to look at him. Tears still in his eyes, but more than that surprise.

“Virgil,” he began as he pushed the list and pen he’d laid ready towards him.

“I have a list for you, I’d like you to read over it and indicate next to each item how often you experience them on a monthly basis. It’s important to me that you are honest. I have a suspicion of what may be causing this, but I get that talking about it might be hard for you. Therefor I provided you with this as a way to boil it down to simple facts. Can you do this for me?” It was factual and to the point. He didn’t want to add to Virgil’s nerves by making the conversation even more emotionally charged.

Virgil nodded and accepted the paper and pen.

Logan let him fill out the list focusing on his tea. Once he heard the scribbling of the pen stop he looked up. Virgil seemed about to push the paper forward, but his whole body was tense.

His face was pulled in a frown and he was biting his lip.

Anxious about the results and his reaction?

“It’s alright Virgil,” Logan said gently. “I know I’m not always, good, at expressing my emotions, but I do love you. More than I expected to when I first agreed to take care of you. Nothing could prepare me for how much I love you and how proud I am to call you my son. Whatever you wrote down, won’t change that.”

It was a moment of unfiltered honesty and apparently that was what Virgil needed to hear.

He took a deep breath and then the paper was in front of Logan. He read it over and it became apparent rather quickly that Picani was right.

“I’m sorry you’ve been struggling with this on your own Virgil. Can I ask for how long?”

Logan dreaded the answer. But it was vital that he knew this.

“Um… start of last school year?” That wasn’t as long as Logan had feared.

“I didn’t notice it was bad until shortly after Christmas though. I was in the park and started freaking out. After that I was more aware of it I guess.” he explained.

Logan nodded, not showing his relief. When he went over external behaviors with Picani he’d come to fear that Virgil had been dealing with this for years. And perhaps he had. But he’d only known for the past eight months. Still, that was a long time to harbor such a secret from a loved one. Logan should know. Every day that he didn’t tell Virgil the whole truth about himself pressed like a heavy weight on his chest.

“Why did you feel like you couldn’t tell me this?” he asked worriedly.

Virgil squirmed in his seat. “I… I wanted to… but then I started freaking out about freaking you out and…” Logan was about to try and talk Virgil through a breathing exercise he’d researched but Virgil already centered himself with a deep breath and a slow sip from his tea to give himself time to calm down. “I just figured I could deal.”

That was understandable. Logan had certainly used similar reasoning in the past in order not to burden Thomas, or his sister… That had not ended well for him though. And he would not let Virgil suffer because of a misplaced need for independence.

He had tried to teach him to ask for help when he needed it when Remus was taken out of school. But it clearly hadn’t sunk in.

“Virgil, I think you might suffer from heightened levels of anxiety. That doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. I would like for you to talk to someone about it though. If only to help you figure out a way to handle these attacks and the thoughts that come with this better so it doesn’t have to interfere too much with your life. Does that sound agreeable?”

“A shrink?” Virgil asked nervously.

Logan was glad he had so much practice keeping his emotions in check. He had perhaps been a bit too vigilant in shielding Virgil from his problems. “I know there is a stigma against it…” He had to do this. If he wanted Virgil to trust him on this, to open up more to him in general. Then he had to open up first. “But my psychiatrist has helped me a great deal with your mother’s death. I hope he, or one of his colleagues help you with your anxiety.”

“You… you went to therapy?” Virgil’s shock was proof that he had probably done too well of a job of seeming put together and in control at all times. He did it to assure Virgil of a stable figure to rely on. But he had deprived him of someone able to truly understand emotional vulnerability it seemed. “Still do from time to time,” he nodded, recalling the appointment he had scheduled for the weekend, making a note to announce it as such when he left. Perhaps he should have normalized his visits to doctor Picani the same way he’d normalized his attraction to men.

Virgil seemed to seriously consider his request now that he knew his father had a history of going to therapy.

“Okay…” he finally said, much to Logan’s relief. “just… can this stay between you and me?” Logan wanted to question why Virgil felt the need to hide this from Janus. Thomas he could understand. Virgil’s honorary uncle was of the helpful sort and might fuss about Virgil just a bit too much. But surely having a friend at school who knew about the potential for attacks and the ways to treat them could be beneficial?

He held these questions back though. Mental health was like your sexuality in that regard. It had to be your own choice when you told who about what parts of yourself. Including the reason you aren’t ready to tell your best friend you are struggling with certain issues.

“If that makes you more comfortable.”

“Thanks,” Virgil smiled before leaving the table with his  tea to make homework in his room. Picani planned in a two hour take in session for Virgil early October.

In the meantime Logan paid extra attention to Virgil’s behavior. Trying to stay vigilant without becoming overbearing. It was hard, but he felt like he managed not to overstep.

He checked in with Virgil every night and found that indeed, Stitch only occasionally ended up in the bed. Usually preceded by a very quiet evening.

So Logan made an effort to coax Virgil into talking to him more when he seemed to hide in his own head. Sometimes he was successful. Other times Virgil asked him to let him just be for the evening and Logan backed off.

Picani managed to soothe Logan’s worries about being a bad father. Normal behavior for this age and such. They did discuss the possibility that Virgil might need some more affirmation. While they deduced that Virgil expressed his love through acts of service and gift giving. He usually paired those with clear verbal statements of his feelings and intentions. Possibly because he himself struggled to ‘assume’ that any action was made with the intention of showing love or appreciation.

The month progressed and when Logan dropped Virgil off for his first session he was probably as nervous as Virgil. He wanted to blow of some steam, but he held firm in his decision to never use that part of his abilities again. So instead he went for a run. By the time he was freshened up it was time to pick Virgil up. Sure, his son was old enough to take the bus, but he remembered how much his own first meeting with Picani had affected him and how intense the man’s idea of a good first impression was.

So he wanted to make sure Virgil was comfortable afterwards.

To his relief Virgil had ended up liking Picani. A second appointment was made for the next week and Virgil actually opened up a bit more after that. He started showing his drawings again, he hadn’t been comfortable sharing his art in what felt like forever.

And Logan must say, though he was never very creative or in touch with art, he could see that Virgil had talent. He could discern the patterns in the pencil lines and could see which sketches were made absentmindedly and which had been drawn in moments of tension. Each and every one though, without fail, was something Logan couldn’t phantom creating himself. He told Virgil as much and it made his son happy.

The name Roman started coming up in conversations again. Apparently he was Virgil’s lab partner this year and if the way his son seemed to struggle not to smile when talking about him was any indication, the crush Logan had suspected in middle school had returned. Or maybe it never faded in the first place.

10b was still training hard to become a hero and still eager to try his skills out in the real world. Logan was starting to worry he might run out of logical reasons to deny him this soon.

“We are done today,” he decided one Saturday afternoon.

“What? No! Why!?” the boy demanded.

Logan sighed and crossed his arms in front of him, taking a resolute stance. “Because, if you are going to be a hero any time soon you’ll have to learn to balance out your hero duties and your own life. School, work, friends, family…” If he’d been better at that aspect things would have ended up differently.

“Sweets and Manifestor both already left to return to their lives. You and I should do the same.” He didn’t wait for a reply and left. Virgil would be returning home from his appointment soon and Logan wanted to be there for him should it have been a difficult session.

Once he got upstairs he received a message from the front desk.

‘There is a young man who claims to be your son waiting for you.’

Logan smiled as he read this. He was glad Virgil had chosen to seek out his presence rather than just taking the bus home.

When he approached the front desk though he could hear the sound of sharp intake of breath, stuttering gasps and high pitched attempts at vocalization.

He was transported back to that terrible night and set of in a sprint.

“Virgil!” he called out, hoping his son would register and identify his voice and calm down.

He rounded the corner and found Virgil doubled over, gesturing frantically with his hand.

He rushed over and grabbed it. “Virgil if you can hear me, squeeze my hand,” he instructed.

“Fine, fine,” he gasped with a squeeze.  Then he said something but Logan could only make out the words “Cant” and “God”.

“Virgil, are you having an attack?” he asked worriedly.

Much to his relief Virgil shook his head before starting to take in slow, deep breaths.

Once he had control over his breathing he whipped at his eyes smearing his running make up even more.

When Virgil looked up he had the widest grin. “You are using the vocab cards.”

Logan cocked his head, confused about why that was so funny.

“Of course. They were a gift from you, why wouldn’t I use them at any opportunity?”

How did he even learn this information?

A muffled squeal answered that question. Logan didn’t even need to look up to know who this was. Patton. Patton met Virgil and talked to him and apparently made him laugh so hard he could barely breathe. Patton had been talking about him with his son.

Virgil luckily snapped him out of his mild gay panic.

“Yes, because you were complaining about not understanding some of the things your students were saying. I didn’t expect you to actually start yeeting your trash,” he chuckled.

Now, Logan was pretty sure Virgil was aware of the nuances of modern slang. He did take meticulous care of making the cards and the updates on every gifting opportunity on top of whatever ‘real’ present he’d gotten him.

Virgil might have just been joking, with little care for accuracy. Regardless Logan adjusted his glasses and looked his son in the eye before informing him that: “Yeet is for distance. For trash I need accuracy, therefore the term used is ‘cobi’.”

And just like that Virgil was doubled over again, though this time the laughter died out on it’s own much sooner.

He straightened himself and addressed Patton with a smile.

“Anyway, great meeting you Patton. It’s good to know dad has someone so nice looking out for him.”

And then, out of nowhere he turned back to him. “You should invite him over for dinner some time. He’s a lot of fun.”

Logan felt his face flush. What? When? Did Virgil just…“Well, you two talk about that, I’m going to wash my face.” Before Logan could collect himself enough his son was out of sight. In hindsight it was foolish to think that Virgil had given up his matchmaker tendencies.

He simply hadn’t had any targets until now. Logan had hoped that after he and Thomas had a fight about the later’s attempt at setting him up with Sweets of all people for some unknown reason, Virgil had come to understand that he simply was not interested in dating anyone. Apparently not. And Virgil had just basically asked Patton out for him.

He looked over to Patton, about to make excuses for his son but then froze. Patton was blushing and playing with his sweater sleeves.

“Patton are you alright?” he hoped Virgil hadn’t made him uncomfortable? What had been said before he arrived?

“Will you have dinner with me?!” Patton blurted out.

Logan blinked in shock. “As… Like…”

“A date! I’m asking you out on a date,” Patton clarified.

Patton wanted to go out with him? “That would be acceptable,” he nodded.

Patton’s face brightened. “Great! Pick you up next Saturday around six? I’ll call you with the details,” he suggested. Logan nodded. “Yes. I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Right! At work. Right here… Bye!” Patton giggled before walking off.

Logan meanwhile was trying not to lose his mind over this.

“Dad?”

Virgil had returned while Logan had stood here frozen for who knows how long.

“Dr. Bonnaire asked me on a date,” he breathed, still wrapping his head around that fact.

“I think you can call him by his first name if that’s the case.” Logan couldn’t see him right now but he was sure his son was finding this funny.

“I… I suppose…” He had a point. Not that he hadn’t been on a first name basis until now. But… Well he always called him by his last name whenever anyone else was around.

It was a habit he couldn’t quite explain.

“You did say yes right?” He must look really out of it. To be honest, Logan was starting to doubt if the last two minutes really happened.

“I… yes, I don’t know what came over me… I’ve never…” After over a decade of  telling himself that he had no time… No business having a romantic relationship…

“Wait… you’ve never been on a date?” Virgil gasped incredulously.

“Not like this!” he clarified frantically as he gestured wildly. Last time…

“Last time, I was an arrogant college student who felt like he had to answer to no one but himself. Now, I am a single father, going out with a coworker. This is an adult outing. I can’t just…” How to even explain his dilemma?

“You really like this guy huh?” Virgil’s voice became soothing, sympathetic.

The flutter of butterflies and the flush of color on his face probably told Logan enough.

Logan sighs and nods with a blush. “He’s so patient and friendly and… I just never thought he could ever…”

“Now stop it right there,” Virgil snapped sternly. “Me turning out like a somewhat stable person, proofs you are awesome. And you just showed him all the reasons why he should date you while taking care of me. You’re welcome by the way. Patton is cool. He’s already met your kid and passed the test. The scariest bit is over.”

That finally caught Logan’s attention. He turned towards his son, who had washed off all make up from his face, and grabbed his shoulders to convey how serious he was.

“You’re really fine with me going out with him? With me possibly entering a romantic relationship?”

Virgil shrugged. “I mean, I’m not a fan of the change, but I want you to be happy. And if Patton is your pick… I wouldn’t have suggested he come over for dinner if I didn’t like him.”

Virgil was doing his best to sound casual about it, but Logan was filled with unmatched joy. He found that words alone were not sufficient to convey his feelings. So he hugged him tight. “I am fortunate to have you as a son,” he told him sincerely.

Virgil shoved him away, blushing awkwardly. Logan didn’t take it personally. It was his own fault that Virgil didn’t know how to react to him initiating physical contact.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever Logie.” What? Had Patton… Oh god. Virgil was much too pleased with Logan’s flustered reaction.

“Let’s go home,” he suggested with a smirk before heading to the parking lot.

Things changed over the next week. He and Patton engaged in more flirty conversation and it had his stomach in knots and his heart racing. But he didn’t mind that too much. Logan was pretty sure Thomas caught on, but he was kind enough not to mention it.

And then Halloween came around. Virgil’s favorite holyday.

They always dressed up together to hand out candy and Logan wondered if next year there would be an extra costume to be put together.

Virgil had been adjusting store bought costumes and doing their make up with enthusiasm ever since he outgrew trick or treating. He’d gotten quite good. From the start of September he’d be designing, sowing and practicing. The past two years it was the only time Logan saw his eyes light up again like they used to all the time when he was little.

This year, Virgil came home beaming.

“And so then I said ‘but ruling sounds like a lot of work’ and everyone laughed!”

Virgil was glowing as he told the story of how Roman had pulled him into a little improvisation.

“You should bring this boy over some time,” Logan suggested. Virgil’s hand, which had been turning him into a zombie professor, froze near his throat.

“I… We’re not… I mean he doesn’t…. We aren’t that close,” Virgil stammered. Logan let it go. Virgil wasn’t ready yet.

Logan had other worries that weekend than Virgil maybe trying to catch the eye of his classmate.

He was checking his tie for the millionth time and Virgil was wordlessly handing him the things he’d forgotten. Keys, wallet, phone…

He was a mess. “You look great dad,” Virgil assured him as he smoothed out his jacket for him. “He’s going to be blown away.”

“What would I do without you?” Logan wondered.

“Still pine from a distance I’m guessing,” Virgil smirked and just then the bell rang.

Logan took a deep breath, checked his pockets one last time and opened the door.

God, Patton looked so good in formal wear. He always looked charming, but now…

“Hya Logie! Hey Virgil! Thanks for letting me steal your dad for the night.” Patton winked.

“Hey Pat,” Virgil greeted.

Logan looked back with worry. “Are you sure…” he started, suddenly not comfortable with leaving his son alone for the night.

“Yes!” Virgil groaned with a roll of his eyes. “Just have a nice time. Text when you arrive at the restaurant and when you leave. I don’t have school tomorrow so don’t hurry home. Pat, steal his phone if he checks it even once during dinner.” Virgil was practically pushing him out the door at this point.

“I will,” Patton winked.

“Good, you crazy kids have fun and don’t do anything you wouldn’t want me to do.”

Logan flushed. “Virgil!” he chastised.

“Love you too!” he shouted as he shut the door in their faces.

Logan felt something twist in his stomach. Was Virgil trying to make sure he didn’t chicken out? Or… No. Virgil wouldn’t go behind his back.

“Logan?” Patton pressed gently.

He took a deep breath and smiled at his date… His date. The smile that appeared at that thought was almost painful.

“Apologies. Father instincts,” he shrugged by ways of explanation.

Patton giggled and hooked their arms together. “Don’t worry Logan. You’ve raised a wonderful boy. I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“Yes, you are right. Let’s enjoy our evening.”

The restaurant was lovely, the food delicious, and the company perfect.

Patton didn’t need to steal his phone, though Logan was always aware of its presence in his pocket. They talked about much more personal things than he’d ever allowed for at work. He learned about Patton’s love for animals and his ongoing battle with the kitchen, though he was good at baking for some reason.

Patton learned about his fascination with everything space related. They discovered they both loved Sherlock.

Patton really loved his puns. Something Logan found both endearing and frustrating. But he was sure his rants about complicated subjects could be a bit annoying from time to time too. They had fun discussing a few philosophers together and before they knew it it was time to pay. Logan texted Virgil as they waited for the bill.

“I had a really great time tonight,” Patton told him on the ride home.

“As did I. I’m glad you asked me out,” Logan nodded.

“Me too.”

And then they parked in front of the house. Logan spotted slight movement at the curtain of the neighbors. Celine was a curious person but she could keep a secret. He was sure she would ask him all about Patton next time they crossed paths, but he also knew that unless he told her it was okay, her husband nor her son would hear about his new relationship from her.

The lights in his own home seemed to be off. Virgil was probably in his room.

He cleared his throat. “So I guess now it is my turn. Next Friday? There is an exhibit I wanted to visit and I would very much like for you to accompany me.”

Patton smiled. “It’s a date.”

Logan nodded and left the vehicle with a final ‘good night’.

He had wanted to kiss him. Very much so. But he didn’t feel they were ready for it just yet.

Maybe after a second successful date.

When he got to Virgil’s room he noticed that the light was still on, so to be safe he gave a gentle knock on the door. A pause. “Come in.”

When he opened the door he saw Virgil was sitting on his bed, his headphones around his neck and his hair a mess. He’d been listening to music.

“You should be asleep,” he pointed out. It was rather late. He should at least have been trying.

“I wanted to make sure I could tell you good night. How was it?”

Virgil tried to be casual, but Logan could hear how tense he was. Whether it was worry or excitement, he wasn’t sure. Either way, it told him Virgil had worried about his night going well and that meant a lot. But Logan was not going to risk keeping Virgil up even later by rambling about the date.

“I will brief you in the morning. Now you should get adequate rest. Sleep deprivation is detrimental to both your physical health and creativity.”

“Okay, night dad,” he muttered in surrender as he got up to get ready for bed.

“Night Virgil… I love you.” He’d gotten much better at saying the words over the last month and he could see Virgil appreciated the effort.

“Love you too dad,” he smiled gently. And with that Logan closed the door.

How did he end up this lucky?

@moonlightshow00​ @naturallyunstablegamer​ @alias290​ @meowthefluffy​ @frida0043​ @angelic-cali​ @selenechris​

5) Let them go.

Masterlist

[hypnofur1]

Out For Delivery in Dallas

By Hypnofur

Mid February 2021

The irony was, none of the three beings in this tale had lived in Dallas for more than a month. Brittany and Timothy Cosgrove had just purchased their expensive condo on the North side of Dallas in January. Carlos Torres had been living in El Paso Texas for a very long time, and had just recently come to the Dallas area.

None of them, actually no one in all of Texas, expected the winter blast they got in mid February. The entire state was a disaster. Texans just didn’t know how to handle winter weather. Brittany and Timothy had just moved here from Indianapolis, so to them, this wasn’t even that bad a winter storm. However, agreeing to the purchase of matching his and her’s Corvettes was part of the Brittany’s compromise to get her husband to agree to move to Dallas. Brittany had just gotten a job with one of the DFW area’s top hospitals as their chief nutritionist. More importantly, she had struck a deal with the ABC affiliate to be their on air Nutrition expert. Brittany’s ultimate goal was to parlay her beauty, and nutrition expertise, into a gig on the national scene. Good Morning America or something.

Timothy knew this, and he loved Brittany very much. He would have moved to Dallas without the Corvette deal, as he knew it was a much bigger media market than Indy. However, he was an attorney, and it was in his DNA to negotiate. Thus, the two corvettes. He of course didn’t know it was going to snow here in Texas, thus, he didn’t really care much that his luxury condo was on one of the few hills in Dallas. Corvettes did not go up hill in the snow very well.

It was about 6:00 when Brittany forced Timothy to watch the #freebrittany documentary with her on FX. She was always fascinated with Brittany Spears, due to them having the same name and being about the same age. Timothy agreed to watch it, as he had been hogging the TV with sports for a few days now. By the time the show was over, it was like 7:30, and both were starving.

Each of the young urban professionals scanned their phones for some place that would deliver. But between the weather and power outages all around, there were no good restaurants that were options. The only place open was a McDonalds two blocks away.

“No way!” Brittany laughed. “Tim, I haven’t been to a McDonalds in like 11 years. I’m not starting tonight. I’ll starve first thanks.”

“OK, but I don’t want to. Come with me, you can at least get a salad. They have those.” Tim negotiated.

“Do you know what is in those???” Brittany said, then stopped herself. She had learned a while ago that people didn’t like when she annoyingly listed all of the bad ingredients in food. “Argh, ok. I’ll take a walk with you there.” She relented with a smile.

Once there, she remembered how much she loved Orange Soda. Tim smiled, but didn’t tease her about it. She appreciated that. She actually hated being teased. She snuggled up to him as they walked out of the McDonalds and headed back to their condo through the snowy mess.

Carlos was also very hungry on this winter night. He was miserable, he absolutely hated the cold. Born in Mexico, and then spending a tremendous amount of time in El Paso, he had never had to deal with cold and snow like this. He wished he was back in Mexico this evening. Carlos’ move to Dallas wasn’t based on career advancement though, it was based on Covid-19 vaccinations. More specifically, the blood of humans who had been vaccinated.

This past year had been the worst of Carlos’ 209 on this earth. The last 150 in El Paso had been wonderful. Feeding on the blood of Mexican immigrants who crossed the border with little identification. Knowing that the secretive nature of the illegal immigrant community would stop any real deep inquisitions into mysterious deaths. It was also nice and warm. It was the perfect place for the vampire.

However, Covid-19 changed all that. Feasting on the blood of a human with Covid made him incredibly sick, for weeks at a time. Over and over everytime he bit someone with the disease. He eventually learned how to smell Covid, but only in humans that had it bad. He, like everyone else, couldn’t detect it in the asymptomatic. Therefore, also like everyone else, he was very pleased when the vaccines started coming out. Much to his pleasure, he could smell the chemicals in vaccinated humans’ blood. He could detect who was vaccinated, and who was not.

That’s why he migrated up to Dallas. People in El Paso were getting the vaccine, but it was largely the elderly. Elderly blood didn’t taste nearly as good as the blood of those in their prime. The large medical community in Dallas meant lots of people in their 20’s and 30’s who had gotten the vaccine as part of the “first responder” roll out.

Brittany and Timothy had both received their shots (both doses) in Indianapolis. Brittany got it because she worked for a hospital, and she was able to get Timothy in because of her connections. As he approached the young urban couple, Carlos could smell the Moderna in them. He had quickly come to love that scent. His mood, which had been quite dour due to the snow and ice and cold, was quickly improving. He thought he’d have a very hard time finding food tonight, but here it was being delivered right to him.

Brittany and Timothy saw the short, somewhat rotund Mexican man approaching them as they were still laughing about McDonalds. Brittany had actually gotten a refill of Orange Soda before they left. They laughed as they joked about cameras seeing them and her soda getting reported to ABC. Carlos was really caught off guard by this weather, and was wearing what would be considered “summer clothes”.

“Look at this poor guy” Timothy said to his wife. While he was a very aggressive, very greedy corporate attorney, he was also very kind and generous. That is one of the reasons Brittany loved him with her whole heart and soul.

“Are you ok my friend?” Timothy asked the man as he and his wife slowly came to a stop on the icy hill to greet the stranger who was coming up it.

“Actually, I’m very hungry and I hate the cold.” the man answered back. Neither Brittany or Timothy immediately noticed that unlike them, when he spoke, there was no steam coming from his mouth on this frigid evening.

“Here, why don’t you take my scarf and some money. There is a McDonalds two blocks North. They are open, we just came from there.” Timothy said, handing the man both his expensive scarf, and $50. Brittany had never loved him more. As she watched with love and admiration as her tall, athletic, handsome husband committed a random act of kindness for a hungry, short, poor, sexy Mexican man.

Wait, why do I find that little guy sexy? Brittany suddenly asked herself. What was it about him? She studied him a little more, and as she did, she felt her pussy actually tingle a bit. God, he was hot. She had never been attracted to Hispanic guys before, especially little short fat ones. What the hell was going on? Why was he so fucking sexy? Brittany was suddenly very glad she had put a cute outfit on and decided to look good going to McDonalds.

“Do you live around here?” Carlos asked Timothy.

“Y-yes” Timothy answered, also oddly affected by the stranger as well.

“Do you own your home?” Carlos asked.

“yes” Timothy confirmed again.

Now Carlos’ mood really improved. Humans knew a lot about Vampire lore, but there were some things that they didn’t truly understand. This was very true surrounding some of the rules of being invited into a home. It could only be done by the true owner of the home. Therefore, renters could not invite a vampire in. Also, another little known fact was that a vampire could hypnotically compel his victim to invite him into their home, but only if the victim was not currently in the home. So, that meant while he couldn’t just knock on a door and get someone to invite him in, these two humans that were “out for delivery” fit the bill just perfect.

“Soy tu Maestra” Carlos said to Timothy, who understood perfectly as he stared back deep into the vampire’s eyes. “Invitame a tu casa”

“Please, won’t you come inside?” Timothy asked.

This was enough to wake Brittany from the light sexual trance she was in. She suddenly felt the coolness of her now damp panties. Wait, Tim shouldn’t invite a stranger into their home… “Tim, hold on…” she said.

“Mirame a los ojos” Carlos said to the Irish Scotish Italian American beauty who took French in high school and did not speak a lick of Spanish. Yet, her eyes immediately darted to his. She could almost feel her thoughts being unavoidably pushed aside. Even her concern over this odd situation was fading away, replaced by a growing sexual attraction, and a need to submit… to obey as he said to her, “Soy tu Maestra”

“Lead the way” Carlos directed Timothy. The husband took his wife’s hand and lead the stranger the rest of the way down the snow covered street back to their condo. Brittany continued to look back at Carlos, she couldn’t help it. He was so fascinating, so sexual. She tried to stop herself. She knew she was married, and she had truly never wanted anyone other than Timothy since they met a decade ago. But Carlos, the short, pudgy little Mexican man, was absolutely irresistible.

Carlos asked Timothy to formally invite him in once more as they reached the condo. He of course obliged. Carlos looked around as he stepped inside. First of all, it felt nice to be warm again. He was also glad he had found these two out and about in a neighborhood that actually had power. So much of Texas was in the dark. The condo was very tastefully decorated, and Carlos could quickly tell that the couple had money.

He politely asked Brittany to lock all the doors and close all the blinds, which she did immediately. She was so turned on by him that she didn’t even wonder why he was doing that. When the last of the drapes were pulled closed, he thanked her. They locked eyes. She felt her heart jump and her nipples harden. Her pussy was already soaked. She seductively walked over to him as he embraced her in a long sensual kiss. Carlos was all that mattered to her. Timothy had been forgotten.

However, Timothy had not forgotten her. The sight of his beautiful, beloved wife passionately making out with another man was enough to snap him out of his trance.

“Brittany, stop! Something is fucked up here!” Timothy shouted.

Carlos stopped kissing and glared over at Timothy. Brittany however was still kissing his face as he looked away, lovingly stroking his hair, completely in his thrall. Timothy felt a cold chill as Carlos cast his eyes upon him.

The vampire gently took Brittany’s arms and placed them down by her side as she continued to stare down Timothy, to stare down his prey. Timothy knew his life was in danger. Fight or flight kicked in, but with his wife also in trouble, he couldn’t escape. He had no choice but to fight. He lunged at the much smaller Carlos.

With supernatural quickness and strength, Carlos caught the pouncing Timothy by the neck with his hand. He then lifted him up with one arm, rising his shoes about two feet off the ground. Timothy’s eyes widened at shock as he realized the might of this beast. Carlos angrily threw Timothy over the granite kitchen island, causing him to smash the stools on the other side. With equal quickness, Carlos leapt over the island and feasted on Timothy’s neck. Quickly and efficiently, he drained the attorney of blood and life force. The vampire felt his own strength grow with each ounce.

Brittany’s kiss with Carlos had exchanged some bodily fluids between them. Even some of Carlos’ saliva in her mouth was enough to keep her much deeper under his spell than Timothy had been. However, this was her beloved husband on the ground, being attacked by this stranger. She slowly moved over to the counter and peered over to see what was happening.

“Timothy?” she said quietly, causing Carlos to stop feeding and turn his attention to her.

His mouth showing only trickles of blood (he had spent years learning how to eat cleanly), he rose from his victim. Brittany’s eyes were stuck on her lifeless husband on the kitchen floor. Carlos looked at her as he moved slowly to her. He heard her breathing get quicker as he got closer. She had a look on her, like she was asking him to fuck her right now but did not have the courage to say anything. He had seen that look many times. Slowly, Carlos circled her, getting behind her, grinding his hard cock in his pants along her ass. "He was your husband, but he wasn’t your Master, was he?"

"No." Brittany said softly and immediately Carlos dropped his pants. Brittany was in heat and followed, pulling her skirt down along her knees. Instantly, she was bent over the counter and getting rammed by his vampiric cock in her tight pussy.

"Harder! Fuck me Harder!" Brittany begged him, speaking in a way she never had. "Oh! My! God!" she repeated with every thrust he pushed. Her hands knocking over things on the counter as he thrusted.

"Yesss my slave!" Carlos said, fucking her with all his might, grunting like a wild animal,. Brittany wrapped her arms around his waist encouraging him go even harder.

Carlos turned the married nutritionist around and she quickly stepped out her skirt. He picked her up like she was a feather, Brittany let out a loud yelp, and sat her on his rigid cock as he really started fucking her. Brittany was bouncing on his cock up and down, her shirt pulled up to reveal her tits. Their chests sliding along each other as she rose and fell on his cock.

Brittany looked him dead in the eyes and move in for a passionate sloppy kiss, not noticing or caring about the bits of Timothy’s blood. Carlos kept his fast fucking motion as he returned her kiss. They tongues were dancing and exploring each other's mouths.

Brittany pulled away and kept screaming, "Yassss!! Give it to me! FUCK ME MASTER!"

Carlos pulled her into his cock as he thrusted in, as he lets out some powerful grunts, BAM! Brittany let out whimper and moan as she bounced off his hips, before she could escape the full length of his cock, Carlos pulled her back in again and with even more force. BAM! BAM! BAM

Brittany was beyond her limits, she was dead weight barely able to keep herself on him as she flopped around, obsessively thanking and begging creature who had just killed her husband.

Finally Carlos lifted her off his cock and set her down on her knees. Then aggressively grabbed her head and plunged his cock into her mouth. Brittany had never sucked a cock before, but she quickly got up to speed as she was getting used to her new Master’s cock. It began to slide inside her mouth easily as she began gulping it in with each thrust. Saliva was running down chin and onto her chest.

"Yes my pet!" Carlos screamed, as pulled his glistening cock out her mouth. He held his cock by the base slapping Brittany side to side until...

"Uhhhhnnnggg!" Carlos's wailed, as he shot several thick stream of creamy white cum onto Brittany's face.

Carlos brought Brittany's face back in and immediately, she knew what to do. Her succulent lips instantly wrapped around his cock’s head and began sucking the remaining juices out and around his cock. Carlos knew full well that his essence was going to give him full and utter control of this beautiful woman.

When she was finally finished, he looked down at her. “What do you do for work?” he asked. He noticed his English was much better after consuming Timothy’s blood. Little things like that always intrigued him, even after 150 or more years of being a vampire.

“I’m a nutritionist” she answered him as she lovingly caressed his leg, still on her knees.

Carlos laughed, as he briefly wondered what the nutritional value of a vampire’s cum was. “Where do you work?”

“Baylor Specialty Hospital, here in North Dallas” she answered. Her heart jumped as her Master nodded approvingly.

“Can you get me to the coroner?” he asked, as he began the plan to dispose of Timothy without alerting the authorities. The coroner would become his human slave, just as Brittany would. There was some work ahead of him, but for what began as a cold hungry night, this unexpected delivery had drastically improved Carlos’ outlook here in North Dallas.

[sunnymusingsao3]

⭐ please mr director! release the morgwen cut....(where'd your headcanons for gwen come from, what are some challenges you have re: writing them)

Behind the Scenes: Fanfic Edition

Essay incoming! This one got long as well!

Oh bless you for asking me about this; she once was a true love of mine is one of my favorite things I've ever written, and I am always 110% ready to scream about the things that inspired it!

So the answer to your second question goes hand-in-hand with the answer to the first actually, so I'm gonna answer these out of order!

The biggest challenge with these two is mostly just how little we have in canon in regards to their relationship, background, history, and other such information that would typically be very helpful for writing a canon character-- or how two of them relate-- for a fanfic!

With Morgana, we have a little bit, but she's also not often allowed-- in the show, at least-- to be a character outside of being a villain for our heroes to fight, so one challenge with her is understanding what she does in her day-to-day life. What is she doing when she isn't advancing the plot via attempted fratricide, or directly opposing Merlin in some way? Since she can't possibly always be sitting in her tower rubbing her hands together maniacally (or pulling a BBC Merlin and smirking in full view of everyone who suspects her) I want to know what kinds of things she likes to do when she's not in court, or tackling the Big Themes Of The Show.

She's clearly moved on from lessons with Merlin, so she is not spending all her time studying-- though I do think she must be self-taught in shadow magic, so perhaps some days are spent on magic study-- and ToA is set before Morgana starts being a general-purpose villain to throw into your knight's tale (because as any medieval male writer will tell you, there is nothing scarier than a woman with power).

The way I see it, then, is that in order to establish this close friendship that Wizards says Guinevere and Morgana have, a good chunk of Morgana's time must be spent around Guinevere. And for a Guinevere who, in my headcanon, married Arthur for strategic reasons? For a Guinevere who's got a crush on Morgana the size of Arthur's ego? Spending that much time with her is bound to cause some good old fashioned yearning.

And this is where we get into my headcanons for Guinevere. As I said above, the biggest challenge is how little information we have about Guinevere. She's fallen victim to the Disposable Woman trope, and while I don't inherently fault ToA for that (they have plenty of other very strong and developed ladies), it does leave her with very little character beyond "she was Arthur's wife," and "she was Morgana's best friend." (Short sidenote: I really appreciate the Crusading Widower page on TV Tropes's site, for pointing out that the crusading widower is often an anti-hero or even an anti-villain because I think that's absolutely right when it comes to Arthur).

Anyway, all this to say, since there's so little canon, it's basically a perfect sandbox for fanfic writers to come in and have the time of their lives lol, so this is what I have done!

I am a huge Arthuriana nerd (though I am hardly an expert by any means; I'm just a simple fan who enjoys the stories) so when I saw Wizards utilize wildly famous Arthurian characters, I rather lost my mind over the potential.

I have so many headcanons about how to merge ToA and a bunch of Arthuriana plot points/tropes/characterizations, but for the purposes of this, I will stick to Guinevere!

The main way I went about making headcanons for ToA's Guinevere, was to look at what legends I knew about her and see what could apply to the Wizards canon, without contradicting it, in order to fill in these huge gaps.

For example, we know absolutely nothing about where Guinevere came from, so I kept her father and her home city from legend. Since her mother is not even mentioned in the legends, I also translated that over to an absence of her mother in the story, while also giving her at least a mention, as I think she'd be important to Guinevere, even if she hadn't really gotten to meet her properly. I really wanted this story to highlight the responsibilities that Guinevere has within her roles as wife and medieval royal woman, and I think having her consider what her mother would have done in her shoes tied into that theme of Guinevere wondering "what kind of woman do I want to become?" as she grew up. This is also why Igraine is given a moment in the fic as well; Guinevere's relationships with the women around her is something which I think deserves attention, even in a fic where I'm mostly just trying to establish a general timeline and characterization for Guinevere as a whole.

The idea for Guin's mother to have fallen in battle, in fact, came from ToA establishing that some of the background Camelot knights are men, and some are women, and it's treated as perfectly normal, as far as I noticed. Claire has that one line about a "boy's club," but I do think that it's actually just that she couldn't compete because she wasn't registered as a knight. I might be wrong about that, but I really liked the idea of there being knights in Camelot who are women, and I wanted to keep that in the fic I was writing. Therefore, I think that Guinevere's mother was both a queen and a knight, or, at least, a skilled warrior. Similarly, I also think that Guinevere's father is most known for his relationship with the Pendragons in legend. This then translated to her father being the diplomat, to tie in with her mother being the fighter. I didn't dwell too much on that because, again, the fic was meant to focus on Guinevere, and it had already gotten longer than I'd meant for it to. But, I tried to give a hint at that in the way that Guinevere's father is the one who physically takes Guin's bow, and puts a crown in her hands instead. He's not saying she can't be a fighter, but he is emphasizing that she also needs to be ready to appear in other kingdoms in a formal setting. I like to think that Leodegrance would have wanted Guinevere to have both options, to be a bit more well-rounded than he or her mother were.

Brief addition before I move on to the next phase of the fic: I chose a bow because when the stalkling advances on her, she tries using a stick to fight it off, but shows a bit of an ineptitude at using a weapon like that. Since I didn't want that to turn into "she's a weak royal who couldn't fight at all," especially since it seems to me that most of the time, being royal in the Middle Ages also meant receiving fight training, I chose for her to be better at ranged weapons, like bows, crossbows, maybe even spear throwing.

At any rate, my headcanons from there were created in a similar fashion to the ones mentioned above; I used a mixture of ToA canon (ex: Arthur, Morgana, and Guinevere being shown as childhood friends; Morgana and Guinevere spending time in the woods) and Arthuriana (ex: pulling the sword in the stone, losing it, getting it reforged by Nimue; Leodegrance bringing the round table as Guinevere's dowry; Merlin being a royal advisor).

Now, since this isn't much of a Morgwen cut just yet (so sorry omg), I wanted to skip ahead to the Morgwen pining moments, to talk about them!

The juxtaposition between a burning candle flame representing her love for Morgana, and an uncomfortable midnight cuddle from Arthur (where she can't even bring herself to scratch her nose-- an irritant meant to heighten that feeling of discomfort) representing her relationship with him, is one of my favorite ways to examine the wild difference in how Guinevere sees both relationships. One is untouchable but beautiful, interesting. It burns, and it's bright, and getting too near it hurts too bad.

And then on the other hand, one is there always, it's inescapable, but mostly sweet, though it comes up short of providing comfort. It's not bad, and it's even gentle, and Arthur does love her, but she married him for diplomacy. She married him because it's expected, and it keeps her safe.

(Which, sidenote: I think some stories work well with period-accurate homophobia, and others do not. This is one I would not have put period-accurate homophobia in, as it's fantasy and legend, and I think it's more interesting if Guinevere can't pick Morgana not because of Morgana also being a woman, but because Guinevere is bound by her duties as a royal).

The last thing I wanna talk about is that I have considered writing another Morgwen fic, but I'm just not sure what kind of plot hook or idea I'd like to pursue. So, if there's interest, or any requests that someone might have for these two, please do feel free to ask away! I think their relationship is really interesting, and I'd be delighted to keep writing for them. Guinevere is a fascinating character in particular, and is one who I think, even in legend, sometimes gets boiled down a lot, so I wanna add some depth back into her character, and give her a chance to shine!

Thank you so much for asking, and if there's anything else you're curious about, don't hesitate to send it my way! Like I said, I am always happy to holler about Guinevere and Morgwen! <3

[kookiepredictions]

Why Jungkook will fall in love with his future spouse

First of all I hear, “Can’t help it”. It’s a strong magnetic pull that Jungkook simply can’t resist. “Before I even knew what it was, I was already in love”. “I try everything to stay out and stay away, but every time I fall deeper and deeper”. I’ve already mentioned that I strongly feel that his is a twinflame connection. There’s an intense and all-consuming attraction between him and his partner that neither of them seem to have any control over. The connection has a mind of its own and instead of getting normal with time, it just keeps intensifying. There’s the typical push and pull dynamic, where one moment they try to get rid of the connection and the next moment they want to cling to it. One moment it’s a gift from the heavens, then the next, the biggest curse. They love each other but don’t always know what to do with it or how to handle it without anyone getting hurt. Specifically speaking of Jungkook, he finds her when he was a bit... lost, for the lack of a better word. She brings in a sort of newness in his life, something exciting to look forward to everyday. Twinflames are reflections of each other, so as the connection grows, he sort of “sees” himself in her, both physically and personality-wise. He finds another him in a world where he was feeling a little lost and lonely. Typically in a twinflame connection, Divine Feminines are the advanced spiritual journeyers who sort of lead the connection from a spiritual standpoint (whereas Divine Masculines lead in the physical world), so Jungkook finds “answers” pertaining to his life, from both her and the connection in general. He gains overall clarity about some things. But that’s not all that a TF connection does, therefore he also gets hella confused about a lot of things. This is because he is in a process of awakening spiritually which is why his perceptions of life are being challenged and changed. This is why, while on the one hand, he gets more clarity, on the other, he gets more tangled up, until those tangles are sorted out and then he gets tangled up about something else again. So on and so forth. This is of course frustrating for him, given that he is in a stage of his life where he doesn’t have the luxury of time for sitting in silence for spiritual awakening to happen. However, he also feels an overall sense of growth and calmness that comes with your spiritual journey, whether or not it is welcomed. This connection propels him to a new direction of knowledge and awareness and there’s almost a supernatural, otherworldly aspect to his life because of this. There are moments when he wants to make it all go away but he also feels himself becoming into a new version. This whole process is one of the reasons he loves her. This “new” perspective that she gives him. Before her, his life was a tired cycle of old thoughts, beliefs, habits and practices. One thing that must be mentioned is that this process starts even before she comes into his life. He starts slipping into the “dark night of the soul”, an indispensable stage of spiritual awakening, a few years before he meets her, where he is a little disenchanted with the world, the people in it, and life in general— including love. There is a sense of despair and hopelessness about what the world has to offer. Everything feels meaningless and purposeless— not like he hates his life, but more of the drudgery of everyday life, the same things happening over and over again without any real growth or advancement on life. This was the stage where he was, consciously or subconsciously (mostly subconsciously, because when you “awaken” is when you find consciousness), seeking answers and some kind of a purpose to it all, that would give him the motivation to move ahead— heck, to even get up from bed every morning. Like, “What is the point of all this? What is the point of life at all? Why am I doing what I am doing everyday? Is this the best way I can live my life? If yes, then why do I only feel OK and not exhilarated every moment? Is there a way to feel happier than what I feel right now?”

TFs typically meet at this point of seeking answers. Like I said earlier, the DFs (gender neutral) tend to be ahead in their spiritual journey so they are the ones who tend to have some of the “answers” before the DMs. So when the meet, the DMs almost feel “initiated” into their spiritual journey. Note, the journey starts even before they meet, but now it starts to make sense, albeit at a very slow pace. Nevertheless, compared to the state of mind the DMs are in prior to the meeting, this new and fresh change in their life situation is very welcome to them. This is Jungkook’s first reason of attraction towards his twin. It’s a fresh change in his life, but not in a superficial way, rather in a deeper spiritual way. Of course, twinflames don’t immediately see it as that, as real twinflames typically know absolutely nothing about either spiritual terms or twinflame concepts UNTIL they meet. (Those who say they’ve met their twinflame AFTER they learn about twinflame connections, aren’t really in a TF connection but that’s a topic for another day). It’s like, they’re thrown into water without knowing how to swim, where they are then expected to learn how to swim. It sounds harsh but spiritual awakenings are about being out of your comfort zone without having a clue about it. Twinflames though, are selected for the job because they are innately endowed with personality traits that won’t allow them to drown in the water. They are problem solvers and answer-seekers. If they sense something is wrong around them, even though everyone else is silently following it, they won’t do the same. They would like to first understand what is wrong and then work on righting the wrong. Jungkook, as the DM, naturally has these personality traits, a rebellious, go-against-the-grain attitude being one of them. He was created to question, he was created to seek answers. “Doing the right thing” is important to him. However, when the whole world around you operates directly opposite of your ideas and beliefs, it’s natural to feel alone and also frequently doubt your own beliefs, or end up doing certain wrong things believing that they might be right, or just ignoring the whole soul-yapping. In this situation, he alternatingly chooses between 1) adapting and adjusting with what others are doing, which gives him some moments of conflict-less peace, 2) getting tired and drained of adapting and behaving opposite of what his soul tells him to do and shutting the world out and being alone with his own thoughts and feelings, and 3) feeling lost with no direction or conclusion to his thoughts and then going back to 1 again.

So when he meets his DF, there’s a sense of having another person who understands his POV unlike anyone else ever has. This is because DFs have already gone through this stage before their DMs. She was also thrown in that water and she has figured out a little of how to swim. This makes him feel not alone anymore. And because she is able to articulate these struggles, she also helps him figure out his own way, which gives him a nudge towards the direction that he had been looking for since even before they met. This is why DMs fall in love with their DFs. This is the outer manifestation of the soul connection that they have. As mentioned in the Ideal Type reading as well, when Jungkook said in his interviews about wanting someone to teach him new things, someone maturer than him, it’s all DM behaviour. As is common knowledge, twinflames, from the time they are born, seek their soul counterpart— subconsciously of course. This is why their ideas and concepts about love are really different from, say, their friends or siblings or parents’ ideas. There is something very specific they are looking for without knowing what it is. Their crushes, previous partners etc. all have some attributes very similar to their twinflame counterparts’. Because they were looking for their counterparts in all those people. So when they meet, they have this sense of FINALLY! that they feel deep in their bones without consciously knowing about it. It’s a strange kind of overwhelming happiness in finding your twinflame counterpart for the first time. You don’t know they are your twinflame, heck, you don’t even know the term “twinflame”, yet you feel like you’ve found someone so similar to you it’s unreal. You immediately want to lock arms, see the world together, have all kinds of experiences together because you now have someone with whom you have the purpose and the motivation to see more of this world. You’re not a lonely loser anymore who is a walk inconvenience for everyone with their unconventional thoughts and ideas. Well, if you’re a loser, then at least you now have a partner-in-crime together with whom you can judge the rest of the world. Although the twinflame connection is often confusing, frustrating and full of external problems and obstacles, just the feeling of having a partner who is truly your other half, in a world where everything is so temporary and uncertain, is unparalleled. Honestly, this is the main reason why Jungkook falls in love with his twinflame. Of course, they motivate each other to become better versions of themselves, but self-improvement is a trait they already had in them before they met. It’s the partnership, the “we got each other while we deal with everything else” vibe that is the main foundation of their love. Everything else, like her looks, talent, personality etc. are subordinate and variable— meaning, Jungkook does appreciate all of these things in her, but even if she looked different or had different sets of talents, he would still fall in love with her.

[inmyarmswrappedin]

Regrading your last anon. I have heard so many times now that the Ava/Mailin storyline overshadowed Fatou's and I'm so tired of that argument. Obviously the most important things have already been addressed (Fatou herself being Black and therefore racism being super relevant to her season) by fandom but I also feel like since they were in the position of not knowing if the show would be renewed they tried to still give at least all the cash queens storylines that give their characters more depth and I really appreciate that. Especially considering how important that storyline is. And as you said, no one complained about Kieutou scenes in Nora's season and possibly also wouldn't have minded more Ismail or Yara (or even Mailin on her own if for example she would have dealt with maybe her own sexuality or something like that and would have come to Fatou for advice). Like, people say it isn't racism or specially biases against a Black dark-skinned fat woman but I just don't really buy it. (Sorry if this is too harsh)

Hi anon 🎶 Lmao no worries, I’m really not the type to clutch my pearls when people call certain reactions to Ava what they are, i.e. racism, colorism and fatphobia.

I mentioned this in another post, but two of the things that people complained about the most in s4 were that Kiki turned into the world’s best white friend overnight, and that Sam and Amira didn’t bond over both of them being woc (with Sam being black). The Ava/Mailin storyline and the Ava/Fatou storyline are both sooo obviously the team’s attempt to address both bits of feedback in the two seasons that Funk gave them (because like you said, we still don’t know whether the show’s going to continue yet). Like I understand a lot of people who watched this season didn’t watch s1-s4 (or even s5), and so they dgaf what people complained about then, but that’s no reason for the team not to try and give their old gen viewers what they requested and hoped for. 

I think the Ava/Mailin storyline is honestly groundbreaking, or at least I haven’t seen anything like it on a show with both white and black characters on their main cast before. I am so grateful for the team to put it in there, and though I wish it would’ve been connected a bit more to Fatou, it’s still so good and such a great tool for education as it is. Like genuinely I would love for this season to be shown and discussed in schools. Even I at my advanced age of 200 years old feel like I learned and like I’m a better listener to my friends now (not just black friends and friends of color, but also friends with disabilities, and a long etc). It genuinely baffles my mind that people think it had no place in this season. 

And yes, people would’ve absolutely loved to get more Ismail, Yara or ace Mailin instead of this storyline, and I would hope that people reflect on why that is.

[greymattermaelstrom]

Ozlander Fan Gathering 2020  -   The Rik and Sophie Show

I attended Ozlander in Melbourne. What an incredible weekend so would like to share my Ozlander experience with you. Of course, it was during the very early days of covid-19 which I’ll address shortly. I’d never met any of the cast before, nor any group of like minded fans. Of course, you are usually lucky to know anyone who watch the TV show (not counting a partner) in your circle of friends let alone personally know a group of fans to chat with. It’s funny though, I’m not sure what I expected, but I thought people would have in depth discussions about OL characters/plots during coffee breaks or in line ups for autographs/photos. I didn’t experience that. I think it was a given that we were all deep into OL. Instead, I found we just chatted and got to know each other, ‘Where are you from?’ etc. As this was the first formal Outlander convention held in Australia, this was big news. I bought my ticket the day they were available (Nov 2019). It was a long way off but I knew the gathering would occur a short time after the first few episodes of Outlander S5 were broadcast, so when S5 started airing, my anticipation grew. Prices were steep admittedly, but a number of us felt it may be the first and last opportunity to meet a cast member, so we did what we could to get there (i.e. sell the healthiest child, blackmail the rich, etc).

Article from “The Scottish Banner” Feb 2020.

Unfortunately, 4 weeks out, Ed Speleers withdrew due to work commitments but local, David Berry, was announced as his replacement on the same day. Then 10 days out, Graham McTavish withdrew due to work commitments in Slovakia. No news of a replacement was announced (I learnt at the event that organising a visa etc with Covid-19 developing had made it nigh on impossible to organise a replacement in time). Ozlander organisers revisited the program and added extra value features to the various tiers. The gathering weekend was so close, yet seemed so far away in these uncertain times. Every day, I anticipated receiving an email stating it had been cancelled. I knew the organisers must have been pulling their hair out. Selfishly and as long as it was safe to do so, I was hoping it would still go ahead. The virus was not as advanced in Australia. Most of our relatively low number of cases were brought in by travellers (residents returning or tourists) from Europe/Asia before flying was cancelled. The Federal Government had restricted public gatherings to less than 500 at the time. Attendance was actually under 200.  FYI, below are the global covid-19 stats as of 19 April 2020, a month later. Australia’s population is 25 million.

A few days after the Ozlander event, only crowds of less than 100 were permitted by the govt. We were so, so lucky!! Of course, that reduced further as precautions were implemented over time. We have self-isolation and a lot of business closures, cancellation of sports/entertainment etc. It is dreadful, but not a total lock down in Australia. We could walk dogs and make necessary trips to the supermarket, pharmacy, doctor or special court appearances. Anyway, just wanted to address this concern. ~ Tickets sold well (premium tickets sold out). I saw fans on sm stating the date of the event clashed or it was a bit expensive so I know more wanted to come. Yes, the cost was relatively high. Return airfares for cast, accommodation, plus I assume their appearance fee was always going to be an expensive venture, especially as our AUD had been declining sharply against the USD for some time. Australia can miss out on some things because of distance and a relatively small population, but overall, I think we have done well over the years. ~ Rik (Richard) and Sophie posted IG photos from Melbourne a couple of days before the event. Yay!! They were in the country at least, enjoying the sunsets, cuddling koalas and hypnotising wallabies lol. Sophie posted a selfie from a public toilet (bathroom) - as you do. See Sam’s comment below. Toilet paper was becoming a precious commodity....🤔

So the odds looked good and finally, Ozlander arrived.🥳 Before we took our seats, a lone piper slowly walked into the throng playing Waltzing Matilda (iconic Australian bush ballad) which segued into Outlander's theme song. Goosebumps! Applause all 'round. The piper was a big fan too.

What a thrilling start to proceedings. We took our seats and Meagan Taylor (the one who dared dream the dream), welcomed everyone. The age range of fans was predominately 40-65. We were excited and expectant. Housekeeping announcements focused on coronavirus precautions of course. Wash hands, use hand sanitiser when you can't, no handshaking and no touching the cast. This last request was a little disappointing after seeing photos from other OL cons, but it was quite understandable. I think we were just over the moon Ozlander went ahead so we were more than happy to comply and consider the health and safety of others. Then Meagan had the unenviable task of informing us David Berry had unfortunately cancelled his appearance due to health reasons. Yikes! What a shame. (David released a press statement 15 March(?) outlining his difficult decision. Sydney is Australia's Covid-19 hot spot, so David being a Sydneysider, had to consider this I guess). There are IG photos of David, Rik and Sophie together in Australia, just not sure where. So of course, it surprised everyone that David wasn't attending. Refunds of his meet and great and the re-jigging of tiers was to be announced on the fly. Then there were two, Rik and Sophie (and no pressure whatsoever!)🤪. Meagan then advised that the five panels across the weekend would be all audience Q & A which got a loud cheer. On with the show! The Rik and Sophie show! 🎉 They came on stage ready for a good time. Rik opened with 'G'day'. Great start I thought and continued his half decent Australian accent. It's a hard accent to imitate as we know. Rik's was a bit exaggerated but that was part of the fun. 

‘G’day. ‘How are ya’?’

Sophie in an outfit she bought here. Same brand as Saturday’s dress that she brought with her.

Roger Mac is in da house.

I’ll admit, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I have seen Rik and Sophie in a lot of interviews, OL promos (talking to camera) and taking part on OL panels on YouTube. I can find their rapport a little strained and snarky at times. Luckily, I was very pleasantly surprised that their 2020 version was very endearing and entertaining. I think they’ve worked on this. I also think, that the spectre of Sam and Cait, through no fault of their own, does loom large at cast events. Therefore, it was great to see Rik and Sophie rise to the challenge of working the room in the absence of their cast mates. And I think they really relished this (albeit exhausting) opportunity and the small theatre made it a casual and intimate affair. They answered questions in an engaging manner and often expanded on it, citing on set examples, many I’ve never heard before, and I’ve seen a lot of OL interviews. Almost as soon as they came on stage, Rik was asked if he would play his guitar and sing for us. While flattered, I think it was too early in the piece and he said maybe he would do so during the weekend sometime. Alas, time wasn’t on our side so it didn’t eventuate. ~ Rik was asked if his hair ticks were under control (ep 501)😂. Combing his fingers through his hair, he replied in his strong Scottish brogue that most of them were gone now. Good sport. ~ He was told the OL bts photos he posts on sm (taken on set) were great and much appreciated and to keep them coming to which the audience applauded. I think he quietly enjoyed that moment. All creatives will take that, knowing their skills and hard work meant something to someone, much like our appreciation for OL and these sorts of events!

Then on to costumes, wigs and make up. It was thought that it must be nice to have your scalp/hair attended to in the makeup. ‘No, it’s not’ R&S said in unison.😂 Verra uncomfortable process apparently. The hair is flattened and held down with clips. The hairline edge of the wig is ‘glued’ to the top of your forehead and then alcohol is used to get the glue off after shooting, which dries the skin. Some hair falls out over time with this process also. We know this has happened to Sam to an extent.😬 Rik is hoping to grow his hair long enough so he doesn’t need a wig, which accounts for his current hirsute glory. ~ Sophie said they both share a make up trailer and added that Rik has a magic make up chair. Being early morning, he often goes to sleep in it and upon waking up, hey presto, it’s Roger Mac. At make up time, they do know if the other is a bit touchy, so they try not to annoy each other. Too much.😂 ~ At one stage, we were a bit shy in asking questions. Meagan said if this was in the US, there’d be a line up for the mic.😂

Ozlander Fan Gathering 2020 selfie. 

~ Sophie responded to a geeky question about wearing wireless mics secreted in their costumes or hair as well using the usual overhead boom mics you see on bts videos. She was asked about her experience with ADR which she’s not a great fan of it. The audience asked, ‘What’s ADR?’ There are a few accepted terms in the industry, Additional Dialogue Replacement is one. It’s when some dialogue needs to be re-recorded late in post production if the original dialogue audio recording at the time is less than optimal for a variety of reasons (thanks Google). Sophie gave an instance when in S4, Bree told Claire she had been raped. The stream in the background got into the dialogue mics too much in this particular outdoor location, so Sophie had to re-record her dialogue (like lip syncing) saying exactly what she said at the time, whilst watching the scene on a screen in a recording studio. It’s hard to get the context and emotion of the scene back into your voice and that’s why some actors hate doing it and plead to have the original dialogue kept as much as possible. But ADR happens more than you realise and for various reasons (see Google). It is impossible to tell when you watch the show, what scenes have had ADR done, it’s blended so well. They would record the stream/ ambient sounds separately at some point and then mix it in lower against the dialogue after ADR is done. 😅

 ~ Sophie talked about her audition process and was sat down in an exec’s office and was told OL fans are very passionate! (we are?🤔😁). They have an idea of how book Brianna should look and Sophie confirmed she wasn’t tall enough, eyes the wrong colour, etc and that yeah, as expected, she received some not so nice things on sm. But she tried not to read too much of it and pressed on with the role of Bree. Her tone wasn’t sarcastic or indignant at all, but humble. I was impressed. 

Queuing for photos with Rik or Sophie on this occasion. We weren’t allowed to touch but we all had a squirt of hand sanitiser (just to be super safe?).🤔            

There were a few photo opportunities over the weekend and a bonus or two thrown in make up for the cast that couldn’t make it. A refund was offered for people with meet and greet tickets for David. However, R & S kindly offered to do a meet and greet for David’s fans instead and they happily accepted. Legends! I don’t know where they found the energy to be constantly ’on’ with so many people over the weekend. Chocolate? Youth?  ~ As it was a small event, there weren’t any extra security staff that I could see. I think it was only the Museum staff and the security cameras which were hardly noticeable. ~ When getting my autographs, Rik and Sophie didn’t ask for my name, but when I read their personal messages, they had used my name (which they’d seen on my Ozlander lanyard. How cool is that? Very slick!). There were assorted costumes, the de rigueur wedding dress of Claire’s which added to the ambience. Of course, most of the audience were women but good to see a handful of men there, some even in kilts! Saw some Aussie Peakers in their MPC tees too. Cool. 

To settle a pronunciation question, Sophie asked the audience after lunch, ‘Is it scone (as in, phone) or scone (as in, shone)? 

An emphatic SCONE (shone) came back. Rik said “Oh, wow, a shouting(?) majority?’ 

Just to be sure, someone asked who lost, Rik pointed at Sophie. He didn’t gloat too much. Poor Sophie!

Of course, what would an OL event be without the cast having a drink or two to lubricate the tonsils (as we say).

Here are a few more tidbits. All the info I’m sharing has been gleaned from the panels and time spent with Rik and Sophie over the weekend as my tier allowed (which was a lot). ~ Yes, they had tried Vegemite (similar to marmite/promite), courtesy of David Berry. Sophie has some in Scotland. Onya Davo! (good on you David). Incidentally, Sam tried some when he was here in 2016 on Studio 10 (morning talk show - March 2016, his interview is on You Tube). It’s a thing. ~ Rik didn’t know if Sam’s whisky would be his cup of tea, but said it was ‘good actually’. ~ Rik was sometimes surprised by the particular take post production used for the show, but was more surprised by what was edited out of a scene (to add dynamics or guide the narrative a certain way which would apply to all productions everywhere). ~ The pyre scene with the Jesuit Priest at the Mohawk Village Ep 412 was hard to watch on TV. He said it was hard to watch them shoot that scene on set as it was so dangerous!😬 ~ Sophie very occasionally discussed the historical accuracy of things in a scene with directors ie. birthing stool or not in Ep 413 and 1960′s The Mashed Potato moves in S5 are different to how we know them now. She convinced the director’s on those 2 occasions. To me, it shows her passion for the show! ~ When asked about Bree meeting Jamie for the first time in S4, Sophie was asked about the eww factor but didn’t think about Jamie’s hand touching her face after he had relieved himself as he had only used a fruit juice bottle.🤣 ~ R & S were asked to respond to: ‘Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!’ And with relish they replied: ‘Oi, Oi, Oi!’. Someone did their homework. Cool. It’s a parochial call and response thing some aussies do at sporting events etc. ~ R & S often went for an early morning run. Before Sunday’s program began, Meagan asked us all to be very quiet. ‘That sound’, she said, ‘is Rik having his hair blown dry backstage.’ Laughter at Rik’s expense all round. Sophie came on with her’s still damp.

Graham McTavish ‘popped’ in from Slovakia to say hi and sorry I can’t be there. Rik and Graham had a good rapport. After some banter, the audience was now supposed to ask a question and GM rolled his eyes as he heard Rik’s voice again, this time asking him what he conditioned his beard with? ‘Well”, said GM, ‘well Richard, um, I, ahh (chuckle), I condition it with...., obviously a little bit of your love ..’. Much laughter in the theatre.

Then GM commented further, (which I missed, sadly), to even more laughter.

Who knows what would have happened had GM been at the event in person?! There is so much more I could share, but you get the idea. 

Sophie wasn’t feeling the best during the last panel just before the close of the event, but she pushed through like a trooper. Rik said she had eaten too much chocolate. A weakness of Sophie’s. I think fatigue was catching up with both of them. They did so much.

Meagan presented Rik and Sophie with an Akubra (pron. uh·koo·bruh) each (iconic Australian outback hat) as a memento of their time here at Ozlander. Rik had the Crocodile Dundee style whilst Sophie’s was more demure. In his best aussie lingo, Rik said: ‘I’m Richard Dundee and this is my partner, Skippy (Sophie).’ (Referencing Skippy the bush kangaroo ? - a much loved Australian TV show 1968-1970). 

The Scottish Banner article promised an intimate relaxed chance to get to know stars from the Outlander TV series and I’m happy to say that this is exactly what we got. Whilst it’s a shame we didn’t get to know Ed, Graham or David better, we certainly got to know Rik and Sophie better than we had ever anticipated. As a result, I see Rik and Sophie in a new light, esp in S5, where they have more scenes together. In a small way, I’ve gotten to know a little of the person that inevitably informs their TV persona (ie facial expressions, mannerisms, speaking cadence and inflections). What a memorable time I had (can you tell?). Thanks to Rik and Sophie, the gathering organisers (who got a special mention on stage at the close) and the other fans I met there. Thanks for reading this far on a rather lengthy post.😊 I know it’s my take on the weekend, but I’ve tried not to editorialise it, but present it, as accurately as I can, hence, it may be a bit dry to read.😅  I think Ozlander is a great name and I look forward to Ozlander Fan Gathering 2021.  

Ozlander graphics: Ozlander Fan Gathering (I tweaked the circle logo in the title)

Ozlander Fan Gathering 2020 selfie: Ozlander Fan Gathering

other photos: all permissions obtained    

Ozlander Fan Gathering article: The Scottish Banner February 2020

Sophie Skelton post: Instagram

global covid-19 cases stats: Wikipedia

[thewosopost]

International Fans vs The NWSL

It is no secret that the recognition around women's football skyrocketed after the 2019 world cup, especially in the US. As a result of this, match viewership increased by 47%, as reported by the Washington Post. A few weeks after the World Cup, a deal was made between ESPN and the NWSL to air regular season games and three play-off games. This partnership started towards the end of the 2019 regular season without any warning to international fans. This left the international fans dumbfounded, to say the least, as there is now no conventional way for them to view the matches and support their favourite teams and players. The fact that the NWSL has yet to address the reasoning behind them leaving out international fans, is truly embarrassing.

I caught up with Instagram user @flemingotobin to discuss this issue further. He has been one of the people to speak about this issue and has constructed a long letter, which he has sent directly to the NWSL. He is yet to receive their reply.

First of all, what drove you to write a letter directed to the NWSL about this issue?

I’ve passionately supported the Portland Thorns since I discovered the NWSL and that has led me to wake up for games at crazy times like 3, 4, or even 5 am. I believe that this sort of commitment should be rewarded, not punished. I know that I am not the only person who has shown this type of commitment to the players and the teams and I also know that thousands of people are in the same boat as me. I want to do something about it so that the fans who matter just as much as domestic fans get the recognition and experience they deserve.

How do you feel about not getting any precautions about this deal and for it to happen in the middle of a regular season?

Yeah I mean, it came totally out of the blue and they didn't even tell us the consequences for international fans, they ignored it and only mentioned the benefits for domestic fans. Then, suddenly, when trying to watch the game it says it’s not available anymore and to consult the FAQ’s. The link to the FAQ’s was broken and overall the communication was so poor. There have been no efforts to make the experience for international fans any better or to make the transition smooth and easy.

So is there no way for fans to watch the NWSL games?

International fans now have to pay for ESPN because they have the rights to all the games. Whereas, in America, occasional games are on the free to watch - Yahoo Sports platform. The cost of this is £9.99 per month which would be fine if ESPN was the main service provider outside of America, but it isn't. No one outside of the US uses ESPN, therefore, paying this amount is ridiculous and nearly none of the international fans are willing to pay this. The fact that the majority of games are free in America but we have to pay for all of them on a service we would only use for the NWSL and nothing else is not acceptable and not advancing the league in a forward direction.

Do you find it contradicting when the NWSL say they want to expand the league and gain global recognition yet they agree to such a deal straight after? Especially, at a time where women's football is at its utmost viewership?

I can understand their reasoning. Getting a deal with such a big domestic sports provider for the first time is huge for the league. I am sure domestic viewing figures have rocketed since. However, in terms of global reach and global recognition, they have made a catastrophic mistake. So soon after a very successful world cup and now that women's football is growing at the rate that it is, makes sense to capitalise on this new global audience. However, instead they have gone backwards and have made long existing international fans feel out of touch with the league and even their own team. I guarantee that if they released the figures for international viewings, they would be down big time and I also know for a fact that the players want to be watched and supported globally. Therefore, there is a major contradiction and one that makes no sense at all.

Are you aware of how American fans feel about this?

I've spoken to numerous fans within this community, both American and international, I've received some really appreciated help from American fans, one in particular, to spread the message to the players - who are now aware of the situation. As for international fans, the amount of messages and people also acknowledging the problem is significant. What we really need is to raise awareness to the league that this is a problem that the fans are passionate about and we need to unite to send a clear message to the NWSL that they cannot treat a significant proportion of their fanbase in such a disrespectful way. Just because we can't go to games and be there in the crowd cheering for our team shouldn't make our support any less important or any less of a priority. It's time the NWSL listened to the voices of the fans and acted.

How can American fans help? How can international fans help?

Whenever I share about the issue, if fans can repost it and tag the NWSL instagram account, at some point they have to acknowledge it. Also if every international fan was to spend just two minutes writing an email to the NWSL about it, it would go a long way to showing how important this issue is. If anyone wants to direct message me, I can share my email for them as a template. Anything I can do to make it easier for us to all unite and confront this issue I will do with my utmost ability.

Lastly, you stated that the players are now aware of this issue, can you elaborate on that please?

I'd rather not go too close into the details because I've put a lot of trust in a friend and don't want to put them on the line. But, Tobin Heath and Meghan Klingenberg have been informed about the problem by them. Christen Press saw my story and direct message recently, and re-inc. saw my story. I have heard Megan Rapinoe is also aware of the situation as a result of this too. It is crazy that I discovered that the players had no idea they had lost pretty much their entire global audience. This shows just how poorly the NWSL have handled the situation and how little transparency there is from the league. It's one thing to have the problem but to consistently fail to acknowledge or address the problem is another thing entirely.

In conclusion, I strongly urge the NWSL to at least give an explanation as to why this issue erupted in the first place. With that, we would like to be informed if there are any plans for this to change. If not, why are they against global viewership? What is the difference between domestic and international fans? Why have they ignored the countless emails and comments asking for an explanation? These are all questions that remain open and I hope we can work together to fix this issue.

Since the interview, I sent an email to the NWSL players association and received a response almost immediately from Yael Averbuch. She was extremely grateful for the raising of this issue and seems fully committed to helping us resolve it. She forwarded my original email to Amanda Duffy (NWSL president) and hopefully we will see some progress on this issue. I don't expect anything to happen until the off-season but we can hope that by next season something will be put in place for international fans to get what they rightfully deserve.

Writer: Toby @ oosa.wnt on insta @ oosawnt on Twitter.

Editor: Sarah @ damn.danvers on insta and @ damn_danvers on Twitter