#i apparently have a thing about lan zhan just finding wei ying right away

[hitorimaron]

i found you

[gravitywonagain]

Sake and Cider at Sunrise

(a Fresh Powder in the Pine Trees story)

.

“Tomorrow morning, what are you doing?”

Lan Zhan is sitting at his desk in the middle of reading through something that looks exceedingly boring. Probably budget reports or something equally dull. Wei Ying isn't interrupting him so much as saving him.

Wei Ying half-sits on the edge of the desk as he grabs the paperwork from Lan Zhan’s hands and skims it. It is a budget report. 

“I --” Lan Zhan reaches to take the report back, but Wei Ying is faster, pulling it away as he interrupts whatever Lan Zhan was about to say.

“Nope. The answer is ‘meeting Wei Ying at Dafan for fresh pow.’”

He grins as Lan Zhan lets out a small sigh, his shoulders slumping under the burden that is being Wei Ying’s friend. 

In the most deadpan manner possible, Lan Zhan looks at Wei Ying and repeats, “Meeting Wei Ying at Dafan for fresh pow.”

Wei Ying bursts out laughing, almost falling off the desk, “You should say ‘pow’ way more often. I’ll die. It’s amazing,” he says, getting control over himself again. “Okay. But really. You wanna go?”

“I… sure. What time?”

“You’re gonna love this: Meet me there at five-thirty.”

The confusion on Lan Zhan’s face is understandable.

“In the morning?”

“In the morning.”

The skepticism is... also understandable, if a little dramatic. 

“You, and I quote, ‘hate waking up before dawn with the fire of the noonday sun which is way better than the dawn sun anyway.’”

Wei Ying laughs again, “I can’t believe you remember all that!”

Lan Zhan’s expression shifts to one part it’s true so what the fuck are you on about with this five-thirty nonsense, one part am I being pranked?, and one part I listen to the things you say and Wei Ying isn’t quite sure what to do with any of that. 

“But, yeah, that’s true. Unless it’s for powder. I will do many things for good powder.”

Now Lan Zhan looks like he’s filing that bit of information away for later, which is not concerning in the least. He turns his body to face Wei Ying and gives him his full attention. It’s a lot.

“Okay. What should I bring?”

Right. Backcountry. 

“Any gear you would want for hiking and powder skiing. You can borrow Wen Ning’s skins and bindings, I already asked. They won’t be perfect, but they’ll do for now, and I’ve got beacons and shit that I can lend you. You’ve done avalanche safety, right?”

“Every year since I was twelve.”

“Wow, say that with a little more disdain, Lan Zhan.”

“It was a requirement in school and now a requirement for my certifications.”

Wei Ying chuckles at the weird contempt Lan Zhan has for his many certs and their annual requirements. “Okay. Well, maybe this will make it feel more worth it.”

“If you say so.” Lan Zhan does not sound convinced.

“I do! The snow report looks epic!”

“Epic?”

There’s a small quirk in the corner of Lan Zhan’s mouth that makes Wei Ying’s heart beat faster.

Wei Ying nods, “Epic, Lan Zhan.”

“I hope you don’t mean that in the alpinist sense.”

In the alpinist sense, “epic” would mean that they hike, get lost, someone’s binding breaks, a freak storm hits, they have to dig in for the night, they leave at least one piece of gear on the mountain to be found in the spring, and, eventually, they make it back to the cars, hungry, tired, and probably after running into their own search party on the way down. This is absurd. Lan Zhan is such a fucking nerd. Wei Ying has no idea what he sees in him. 

He rolls his eyes but can’t quite keep himself from smiling, “When have I ever meant anything in the alpinist sense?”

Finding out Lan Zhan was a budding alpinist had been almost as bad as the minor panic Wei Ying had over the golfing scare with Jin Zixuan. Who wants to freeze their ass off, crossing crevasses on stupidly unstable ladders and getting hypoxic, just to stand on top of a mountain? Lan Zhan, apparently. 

“I will get you on big mountains one day.”

“Only if I can ride down.”

“Hm.”

Lan Zhan narrows his eyes, calculating but smug. Like he’s just won, or figured out how to win but needs to adjust his strategy. 

Wei Ying kind of hates it. But it’s kind of captivating, too, and hot. Very hot. 

Especially when Lan Zhan leans in slightly and Wei Ying mirrors him, caught in the gravity of Lan Zhan’s sharp gaze. Lan Zhan’s eyes flick to Wei Ying’s lips and Wei Ying is about to say something about them being in the fucking Ski School office when, suddenly, Lan Zhan snatches the budget reports out of Wei Ying’s hands and leans back in his chair. 

Smug, indeed. 

-

It’s still dark when Wei Ying pulls into the Dafan parking lot in his and the Wens’ well-loved, mostly-red ‘98 Subaru Outback. Did he make fun of Wen Qing for being a stereotype when she bought it? Yes. Does he love driving it around the mountains because it is, objectively, a good mountain car? Also, yes. Of course, next to Lan Zhan’s clean, white 2018 Jeep Cherokee, it looks like an absolute beater. 

Wei Ying looks at the clock on the dash as he cuts the engine. 05:27. Fuck yeah. He zips up his jacket, grabs the two thermoses from the passenger seat, and gets out of the car to meet Lan Zhan where he’s lifting the Jeep’s hatchback. 

It’s cold and quiet. Dark. The sun hasn’t even really started lighting the sky yet. Wei Ying breathes in the mountain air, pine trees and snow and granite, and lets it freeze his lungs for a moment. His shoes crunch on the snow and gravel as he walks toward Lan Zhan. 

“Good morning, Sunshine!”

“Good morning, Wei Ying. You’re… awake.”

Wei Ying smiles at Lan Zhan’s surprise, “Yeah, well, I drove here, so I sure hope so.”

“Mn.”

Their breath condenses in the air and swirls in the light from Lan Zhan’s open door. 

Wei Ying hands the cleaner, less dented, stolen from Wen Qing thermos to Lan Zhan, then turns to open his own hatchback to begin sorting through his own gear.

He can see Lan Zhan out of the corner of his eyes as he does. Standing as if frozen, with the thermos held out in front of him, confusion radiating off him like body heat.

“A Wei Family treat for the top!” says Wei Ying.

It doesn't seem to clear up Lan Zhan's questions.

“Okay, well, yours is just tea, you fucking lightweight." Never. He will never let it go. "But mine is sake and cider!”

Lan Zhan's eyebrow pops up, but it's an expression of curiosity rather than confusion. Wei Ying doesn't let himself think for too long about how well he can read Lan Zhan's silences these days. Or how fucking sculpted Lan Zhan's cheekbones and jaw are.

“My dad used to make up thermoses for my mom when she was backyard touring. He made them when we were all together, too, and let me have sips at the top.”

“Of sake?”

“Yeah. It wasn’t much, just a taste. But now it’s a tradition.”

Lan Zhan nods and sets the thermos down on the bumper of the jeep as he gathers his gear. He, as it turns out, already had touring bindings and skins, or his brother did, so they’re actually more prepared than Wei Ying had planned for, which is perfect.

“You’re gonna have your own gear by the end of the season,” says Wei Ying with a grin.

“Am I?”

“You are. And it’s going to be all the really nice, expensive stuff and I’m gonna be so jealous.”

“Hm. We’ll see.”

—

The hike starts out smooth, though Lan Zhan struggles a bit with the grade of the climb. Wei Ying cheats a little by putting his own climbing bars up, "Stiletto mode," he calls it, and Lan Zhan grumbles even though he's not the one breaking trail.

“Have you ever actually worn stilettos?” Lan Zhan asks.

“Oh, Honey, just wait until you see me in drag. You will lose your gotdamn mind.” 

Lan Zhan is mostly silent as they hike. Wei Ying lets the quiet linger.

It's early. They're surrounded by soft, fluffy powder. The air is still and freezing.

By the time they're halfway up the hill, they can turn off and stow their headlamps, the cold light of dawn shading everything blue. When they reach the top, the sun is peeking over the ridgeline, painting the sky and snow with pinks and purple, gilding the moutnains across the valley, sparkiling on the calm lake water in the distance.

Wei Ying drops his pack, fishing out his thermos and watching Lan Zhan do the same. He takes off his gloves to unscrew the cap, to press the release and pour himself a little cup of nostalgia.

The hike wasn't particualrly long or arduous. He feels his legs engaged, not tired. They still protest when he sits, though the chill of the snow through his snowpants eases some of their complaints. The sake eases them further.

Lan Zhan's eyes fall closed as he sips his tea, still standing, skis and poles stabbed upright into the snow next to him.

"This is nice," he says, and Wei Ying thinks he's not talking about the tea.

He's so beautiful in the morning light. It might be worth waking up early just to see him like this: serene in the cold, lit gold by the sun.

Steam rises from his thermos cap, turning his nose pink.

"Yeah," says Wei Ying, "yeah, it is."

After a calm moment, they begin to strip the skins off, the ripping sound loud in the near silent valley. Wei Ying shows Lan Zhan how to fold them in on themselves so that they won't stick to anything and everything in his pack.

When Wei Ying grabs his toolkit and gets to work switching his bindings around, Lan Zhan asks if he can try Wei Ying's drink.

Well, no. He asks if he can try the "Wei Family treat," but Wei Ying can't think about that too hard right now. He just grins and asks, "You gonna pass out on me at the top of this mountain, Lan Zhan?"

"Just a small sip," Lan Zhan says, taking the proffered thermos.

The face he makes rivals the cute scrunching of his nose when he tried beer for the first time.

“This is not sake or apple cider," he says, disdain and distrust in his voice.

Wei Ying laughs, “It is!”

“No, this is brewed rice alcohol and instant cider mix.” 

“You’ve seen my car. You think I can afford good alcohol?”

“I think this is closer to a cleaning solution than food grade,” he says, sniffing the thermos, wincing dramatically, and then handing it back to Wei Ying.

Wei Ying takes the thermos laughing, “Not all of us own a mountain, Lan Zhan!”

He loves bitchy Lan Zhan. He does not understand how Lan Zhan has managed to convince everybody that he’s all serious and stoic all the time. 

“Real sake need not be expensive,” Lan Zhan says, sounding exactly as rich as he is. 

“Like you’ve ever even tasted ‘real’ sake,” Wei Ying shoots back with a smile. 

“I’m not sure I’ve tasted any sake.”

Wei Ying snorts into a new bout of laughter and drops to his knees in the snow next to his splitboard. He giggles his way through configuring it back into a snowboard shape while Lan Zhan adjusts his ski bindings. 

“Alright,” says Wei Ying when he calms himself enough to speak, “Are you going to keep making fun of me? Or are we going to get some sunrise fresh tracks?”

“Just waiting for you to finish minor surgery on your gear.”

Wei Ying has to stop strapping in because he can’t breathe. It’s the deadpan snark that just fucking kills him. That bone-dry delivery. That playful glint in his honey-brown eyes. That deep, smooth baritone. Getting off track.

“Okay, punchy,” he says with his arms resting on his knees and his lungs labored with his amusement, “Is this what alcohol does to you before you pass out? Do we need to wait for you to sober up from your single, tiny sip?”

Lan Zhan makes a face that is somehow haughty and embarrassed and unimpressed all while saying fuck you with his eyes. 

Wei Ying loves it. 

“You’re so fucking cute,” Wei Ying says to no one in particular as he stands and clips the chest strap of his back pack together. He checks himself, looks around their spot. Nothing looks out of place. 

He shakes the adrenaline into his arms, feeling the moment shift. Lan Zhan, too, seems to feel the change in mood as he adjusts his goggles on his face. They share a look, a nod. It feels as natural as the smell of pine trees on the breeze. 

“Okay,” Wei Ying says with a smile, “let’s go.”

Wei Ying hops his board once, takes a deep breath of cold mountain air, drops his nose into the bowl, and floats.

Riding in untracked powder down a steep, open slope is one of his favorite things in life. He carves into the mountain and feels it carry him. His toe-edge cuts through the powder and he leans into the slope, dragging his hand through the snow just to catch it on his glove. It’s light, airy, cold. The wind rushes in his ears and he hears his own heartbeat.

His shoulders roll with the turns and his hips follow, easy as anything, used to this from years and years of muscle memory. He cruises down the slope, big easy turns, powder spraying in his wake. The sun is still lancing its rays across the mountain and it sparkles with the colors of dawn. He flows with it. His knees bend into the stretch, toes curling in his boots, weight shifting without him ever having to think about it. 

He sees Lan Zhan fly past him and the cold stings his lungs. Lan Zhan is beautiful in motion. This is not the first time he’s thought this. But, here, in Wei Ying’s world of quiet mountains and fresh powder, Lan Zhan is beautiful. His turns are clean and graceful, a slow rhythm building when he plants a pole. 

For a moment, Wei Ying sees his baba. 

When he meets Lan Zhan at the bottom of the hill, Wei Ying is smiling so hard he can’t control it. He, very carefully, does not spray Lan Zhan with snow when he stops, choosing to stop down mountain on his toes. There will be more laps. This one he wants to be as smooth and perfect as their first tracks. He wants so badly for Lan Zhan to be happy, to be enjoying this with him.

“What do you think?” he asks, trying not to let his anticipation color his voice. 

Lan Zhan turns toward him, then looks back up at the mountain, then back to Wei Ying. It’s not easy to see behind the goggles, but there’s a fire lit inside him. 

He smiles at Wei Ying. It’s small, a twitch of his lips, but real and young and happy. The same almost childish exuberance colors his voice when he says, “Again.”

The second lap is excellent, not only because Wei Ying gets to stare at Lan Zhan’s ass for the entire hike up, but also because the ride down is just as floaty, just as soft and perfect and breathtaking as the first. He does manage to spray Lan Zhan with powder this time and Lan Zhan’s unimpressed face kills Wei Ying for a second time before 8am. 

The sun shines bright in the sky on the third hike up and already the heat is rising. They begin to strip layers even before they start the climb -- jackets stowed in backpacks as they each drink some water and reset their gear. 

Wei Ying’s shirt comes off about halfway up the mountain. 

At the top, Wei Ying finds that Lan Zhan’s insulation layer has been tied around his waist and that there’s a silver necklace chain barely visible under the collar of his henley. 

When he asks about it, Lan Zhan takes his gloves off and pulls it free. It’s a family necklace, he explains, a diamond and aquamarine accented platinum snowflake on a platinum chain. His brother has a matching one, so do his father and uncle. 

He trails off and Wei Ying thinks there’s more to the story, but he doesn’t want to press. Not now. Not the time. 

They glide down the slope, crossing nobody’s tracks but their own. It’s quiet and peaceful and it’s just them. Only them. A perfect kind of solitude. 

It’s not until the fifth hike up that Lan Zhan finally gives in to the heat. 

Their muscles and bodies are warm from exertion, midday is truly upon them. In the rising temperatures Lan Zhan stops climbing, plants his poles and starts removing his pack. 

The sudden cessation of hiking noise and the sliding plastic sound of a backpack buckle behind him causes Wei Ying to stop and turn. When he does, he sees Lan Zhan, gloves stowed on his grips, shirt coming off over his head, winter-pale skin shining in the high noon sun. (Best sun. Best sun for so many reasons now.)

Wei Ying’s brain breaks a little. 

It’s one thing to know that someone is an athlete. It is another to see the sculpted muscle and lean lines that that entails. It’s a third to see all of that for the first time surrounded by mountains and powder and pine trees and perfectly lit by winter sunlight and the surrounding snow. Wei Ying wishes he had his camera. 

“The Heavens have blessed us this day.”

“Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan sounds both pleased and annoyed as he tucks his shirt into his backpack. The gemstone snowflake hangs between his collarbones, askew from his movement. 

“Seriously, Lan Zhan. Holy fuck. How is that fair?”

The man has a six-pack and sex lines and still manages to look genuinely confused by Wei Ying’s reaction. The audacity. 

“I bet you have a gym in your house, don’t you.”

“I do,” Lan Zhan says easily, putting his gloves back on and drawing attention to his forearms. As if Wei Ying weren’t already absurdly attracted to him. 

“Oh, fuck off.”

Lan Zhan’s shoulders and chest and arms flex as he pulls his poles out of the snow and gestures with one up the hill. It doesn’t even look deliberate which drives Wei Ying crazy. His snow pants sit low on his hips and Wei Ying wants, almost desperately, for a reason to make Lan Zhan go first so he can check out his back muscles as he hikes. Nothing comes to mind. He settles for maybe, possibly, getting a repeat wardrobe change on their next lap. 

Fuck, he wants to see those muscles work. 

“Yeah,” Wei Ying lets his eyes drag over Lan Zhan one more time before turning back up the trail, “I’m gonna go bury my head in the snow to cool off now. Thanks. Where’s an avalanche when you need one?” He stabs his poles into the snow and grabs his t-shirt from his waistband. 

“What are you doing?”

“Putting my fucking shirt back on. I have enough self-esteem issues, thank --”

“Don’t.”

There’s something in Lan Zhan’s voice that forces Wei Ying to turn and look at him. Something vulnerable and raw.

“Don’t?”

“Please,” he says softly, “I like looking at you.”

Wei Ying feels speared open by that. He feels… The blush that creeps up his chest is bared already. 

“Aiya, Lan Zhan. How are you so fucking sincere?”

Pink graces Lan Zhan’s ears as he holds Wei Ying’s eyes. He says nothing. He doesn’t look away. 

Wei Ying gives.

“Okay. Okay, the shirt’s staying off.”

When they reach the peak and start stripping the skins off their skis, Wei Ying does, in fact, stick his face in the snow. It only helps a little. 

They finish after a sixth lap. 

Lan Zhan does take off his shirt again as he leads the hike up. 

Wei Ying, somehow, doesn’t die about it. 

-

The next day, after lessons are closed, Lan Zhan meets him by the instructor lockers and hands him the thermos he’d taken home. When Wei Ying grabs it, it’s heavier than he expects and it sloshes like it’s full. He quirks an eyebrow at Lan Zhan, but Lan Zhan just nods at it, clearly waiting for Wei Ying to take a sip. So he does. 

It’s hot and sweet and… alcoholic? It’s smooth and thick, but not syrupy, and smells spiced. 

“This is delicious, Lan Zhan!”

“Mn.” Lan Zhan looks smug as hell and says, “That is sake and cider.”

Wei Ying’s laughter can probably be heard all the way in HR, he shakes so hard with it. 

He loves it when Lan Zhan is a bitch. 

[kurowrites]

That Boy.

So, as the start into the new year, have Lan Zhan getting hounded by his brother’s groupies and despairing over Wei Ying’s compulsive flirting. :)

---

“Hello, handsome,” the woman said, smiling at Lan Zhan.

Lan Zhan looked at her, and tried to remember if they had met somewhere before. She was carefully styled, wearing a tight black dress and high heels, with long hair and equally long red nails. She looked somewhat out of place in this cosy coffee shop, more like she was on her way to a fancy event than looking for a cup of coffee. It was certainly someone he would remember, if they had indeed met before. She was, however, entirely unfamiliar to him.

And if that had not been enough of a hint yet, there was a certain gleam in her eye that immediately put him on edge. Her smile was friendly, but there was something about her that made her feel not unlike a predator, smiling at her prey before she opened her mouth and swallowed it.

Lan Zhan sighed internally. Another one of his brother’s fans, he assumed.

He was happy about his brother’s success, and he would always support Lan Huan, there was no doubt about that. But ever since Lan Huan had his big break as a pop musician two years ago, right after he left university, Lan Zhan had found himself constantly hounded by fans of Lan Huan. Some of them genuinely confused Lan Zhan with his brother and were thrilled to meet a pop star on the streets. Others confused him with Lan Huan, but also hit on him in the process, trying to shoot their shot with a celebrity. (Which would never happen, Lan Zhan thought uncharitably. His brother was better than that.)

The ones that were possibly the worst, however, were those that had done their homework, realised that Lan Zhan was not his famous brother, and still decided to go after him. Those were usually the ones that were the most difficult to get rid of, and they came in all shapes, sizes and genders.

Frankly, Lan Zhan was getting tired. He was getting tired of people hitting on him in general, but he was particularly tired of people hitting on him because he was the brother of a celebrity who also happened to look very similar to said celebrity.

He glanced at the woman who had accosted him while he was drinking his tea, and tried to figure out which category she belonged to. And, of course, how he could get rid of her quickly and efficiently.

He wanted to drink his tea in peace.  

She did not seem to be cowed by his critical glance, and gestured to the empty armchair across from him.

“Are you here on your own?” she asked. “Do you mi-”

Before she could finish her words, there was a mad scramble, and with rather more noise than necessary, a large cup of coffee was unceremoniously dumped onto the small table between the two armchairs, and one Wei Ying dove onto the empty armchair across from Lan Zhan, throwing his bag under the table as he did so.

“Sorry, m’lady,” Wei Ying said as he pushed his hair, messy from his athletic stunt, out of his face. He smiled at her broadly and in a way that showed that he very much was not sorry. “This place was reserved for me. I fear you have to look for another seat.”

The woman stared at him in disbelief. She opened her mouth, presumably to lodge a complaint, but Wei Ying could not be bothered. Ignoring her, he directed his gaze towards Lan Zhan.

“So Lan Zhan,” he said loudly. “I heard that you got engaged. Congratulations, I have to say. Took you long enough. Where you failing to find the perfect engagement ring or what?”

Without another word, the woman turned around and walked away in a huff.

Lan Zhan was not sorry to see her go. Still, he felt his face twist into a frown. Wei Ying’s words made no sense to him. What engagement was Wei Ying talking about?

“Wei Ying, I have not gotten engaged.”

Wei Ying laughed loudly, his face shining with mirth.

“Lan Zhan! Of course you didn’t get engaged! I just said that to make her leave! You should have seen your face when she descended on you, like a small, helpless rabbit! Of course I had to help!”

He sighed dramatically and reached out to take hold of his overly large coffee cup.

“I know Lan Zhan is handsome and irresistible, but the nerve of that woman. You were obviously not up for conversation! It’s your strictly scheduled tea break! Which is why I will drink my coffee in silence now, so you can meditate over your tea or whatever it is you do.”

He took a big gulp of his coffee.

Lan Zhan considered Wei Ying for a moment. He was obviously grateful for Wei Ying’s unexpected help, but it came with two problems: First, Wei Ying never did anything silently. Second, Wei Ying himself flirted with Lan Zhan incessantly, calling him handsome and whatnot, so in all fairness, he was hardly better than any of the overenthusiastic Lan Huan fans that approached him.

There might also have been a third problem, though Lan Zhan did not admit to that. He definitely did not notice Wei Ying’s handsome face, brightened by his irreverent, sparkling smile. Neither did he notice his long, deft fingers, carelessly tapping out rhythms on the coffee cup, nor the way he was slouched on the armchair in a way that should have looked sloppy, but instead ended up looking artfully draped.

After all, it was only Wei Ying, irredeemable and obnoxious flirt, and there was nothing for Lan Zhan to notice.

Still.

“Thank you,” Lan Zhan said, because he was grateful. “I think she mistook me for my brother.”

Wei Ying raised his eyebrows, an incredulous expression on his face.

Lan Zhan could divine the meaning of that look. After all, Lan Huan was the friendly, approachable one out of the two of them, and he was also a pop star. Certain physical similarities aside, no one with eyes in their head should ever mistake Lan Zhan for his smiling, gentle older brother.

Wei Ying was evidently of the same opinion.

“Haha, Lan Zhan, don’t worry about it,” he eventually replied between two sips of coffee. “I could hardly have looked on while the impeccable, incomparable Lan er-gege was in distress.”

There we go again, Lan Zhan thought to himself, trying to suppress an eyeroll. Incorrigible.

---

It was not often that Lan Zhan went out with his brother, considering that his brother was a very busy person, so of course they had to run into Wei Ying when they did the next time.

Oh no, Lan Zhan thought to himself when he saw Wei Ying’s eyes flit back and forth between Lan Huan and himself.

This, he would have wanted to avoid. Permanently.

It had been his biggest fear, ever since he had met Wei Ying. Wei Ying was bad enough with Lan Zhan, when he could hope for nothing and had no encouragement. How Wei Ying would act once he had the encouragement of a friendly disposition in addition to Lan Zhan’s oh-so-handsome face, he had never wanted to know.

And now they stood in front of Wei Ying, giving him a truly perfect opportunity to compare and judge.

What the judgement would be, Lan Zhan already knew.

(It would never be him.)

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying chirped once he was apparently finished with his thorough analysis. “Is that your brother?”

“Lan Huan.” His brother stepped forward and introduced himself, always a little bit better at being polite than Lan Zhan. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

Wei Ying smiled at him, and Lan Zhan quietly begged Wei Ying not to say–

“Nice to meet you, Lan Huan,” Wei Ying said. “I’m Wei Ying, one of Lan Zhan’s university friends. Did you know, Lan Zhan staunchly refuses to talk about you? But actually, I think he’s really proud of you, and he’s just careful to not spread private information.”

Lan Zhan was so surprised about these words, he could only stand there and stare.

That… was not what he had expected from Wei Ying. After all, when it came to Lan Zhan, Wei Ying couldn’t open his mouth without saying something flirty or suggestive.

And know he looked Lan Huan in the face and managed with a simple ‘nice to meet you’?

“Thank you,” Lan Huan replied with a small, but genuine smile, completely unaware of Lan Zhan’s current internal crisis. “I’m proud of him too.”

Suddenly, Wei Ying perked up.

“I know, right?” he asked excitedly. “He’s such a good, serious student. And so smart! And also ha-” he interrupted himself and coughed once. “Well. You are handsome, too. And he’s your brother. So I guess you know.”

He twirled his hair around his finger and pulled once.

“Well, I guess you have things you need to get done,” he chirped. “And I do too. Have a good time! And see you at university, Lan Zhan! Don’t be a stranger!”

With that, he hopped off, quick as a fox.

Lan Zhan just stared after him, not understanding what had just happened.

You are handsome, too.

When had Wei Ying, of all people, learned moderation?

When he turned back to Lan Huan, he found his brother smiling at him widely, and it put Lan Zhan on the defence immediately.

“What?” he asked, rather more harshly than he had intended to.

“Oh, A-Zhan,” Lan Huan said, his smile becoming smaller, but also more intimate. “I’m very happy for you.”

Lan Zhan frowned. Why would Lan Huan be happy for him? Because one of his university colleagues had finally managed not to embarrass themselves in front of Lan Huan? Because Wei Ying had managed not to completely expose himself? Because he had somehow survived this encounter without getting his heart smashed to tiny pieces?

Of course, there was no good way to ask these questions.

“I think you should move fast, dear brother,” Lan Huan observed, continuing the conversation without needing any input from Lan Zhan. “He’s very handsome, this Wei Ying, is he not? And smart. You might have some stiff competition if you’re not careful, so you need to be quick.”

Lan Zhan stared at Lan Huan, uncomprehending.

What, exactly, was his brother talking about?

“A-Zhan,” Lan Huan sighed when he saw that he had lost Lan Zhan. He reached out and squeezed Lan Zhan’s shoulder once, a quick, familiar comfort. “That boy only has eyes for you, and absolutely nothing else. I don’t think I have ever seen someone more in love.”

His brother let him go and walked away, leaving Lan Zhan standing there, as if he had not just dropped a bombshell of truly earth-shattering properties on him.

That boy only has eyes for you.

That boy.

Only has eyes for you.

 Wei Ying??

[vvienne]

SANGCHENG FIC RECS

flight of a one-winged dove by bloodletter

Talking at someone is only fun for so long. That's all being a sect leader is: talking and talking to people bound by courtesy to listen to you. It's so fucking dull. A relief, then, to face one’s equal, and no less an old friend who is inclined to interrupt you whenever you ramble. He likes it. It’s one of Jiang Cheng’s best qualities.

In the years after Guanyin Temple, Nie Huaisang attends to unfinished business.

whipped by reindeercolin

Jiang Cheng blinks. “Dammit, they do think you’re dating one of us! I hate it when Wei Wuxian is right.” “Excuse me?” Nie Huaisang gives him an incredulous look. “First of all, they think I’m dating you, and if anything, they’re getting more aggressive!”

(or, the one in which Jiang Cheng has too many relatives, not enough patience, goes through a brother-divorce and finds out he has a boyfriend - in that order, more or less.)

Ponder the Manner of Things by Pip (Moirail)

It's not that Jiang Cheng can't do a quadruple flip followed by a triple toeloop. It's that his mother seems to think that's still not good enough.

Jiang Cheng is grateful that Huaisang doesn’t have the same kind of family life that he does, all - messy with expectations and cravings for closeness and nothing but vague filial piety where love is meant to be.

a matter of time and organ donation by nev_longbottom

This is it. The call he’s been waiting for. His brother had ‘an accident’ or ‘died in his sleep’ or some other lie to cover up the murder.

“Please, Mingjue is missing. He got into one of his moods and he was gone when I came back from grocery shopping. He’s not answering his phone. I don’t know if he left or was kidnapped or if something else happened. Huaisang, please, if you’ve heard anything,” Meng Yao begs.

Nie Huaisang hunts his brother's killer.

no tip necessary by tattletold

With all the nervousness of a virgin in a whorehouse, Jiang Cheng closes the door behind himself and enters, sitting on the low seat across from the escort. The pretty young man keeps his face hidden behind the delicate fan, and Jiang Cheng thinks for a moment that he recognizes the design painted onto it now that he’s closer.

It’s only when he lowers the fan and opens his eyes, wide, does Jiang Cheng paralyze with realization.

They speak at the same time in equally horrified tones.

“Jiang Cheng?”

“Nie Huaisang?”

Your Place in the Family of Things by raisedbyhyenas

No matter what happens, no matter the circumstances, Wei Wuxian will always leave and Jiang Cheng will always get stuck trying to rebuild from whatever’s left.

*************

In which Jiang Cheng makes friends; gets a cat; begins to rebuild a relationship; and maybe, possibly, potentially, learns a little bit how to be happy.

sigh yourself to sleep by merthurlin

“Let me take care of you, A-Cheng.”

No one—no one has ever said that, not to Jiang Cheng. He wasn’t a very sickly child, true, but the few times he remembered being sick it was never—he had a-jie, and later on he had Wei Wuxian, for what it was worth, but he never—

halcyon days by serein

They're in a forest, it seems just the two of them.

"You have to be patient," Nie Huaisang says, "I once waited for three days to catch a sparrow."

"Three days?" Jiang Cheng replies, sceptical. He can't imagine Nie Huaisang having the attention span for that.

"It's not that hard," Nie Huaisang says, "if you know what they want, and find a way to get it for them."

[JC stumbles across an array and gets physically de-aged to be 16/17. NHS kindly offers his help to an old friend, but things... escalate.]

To Distraction by isozyme

It’s the third night of Yunmeng’s kite festival celebrations. Nie Huaisang has come visiting, eager to partake in the food, the arts, and Jiang Cheng.

-

Jiang Cheng wants to forget. Nie Huaisang has some new lube and wants to see if he can put his whole fist in somebody’s ass.

Lights, Camera, Kiss by MissMagus

When Nie Huaisang gets paired with straight porn star Jiang Cheng for a five-part series, he’s sure it will be an utter disaster. Until the cameras start rolling and their chemistry alights like wildfire.

(Or, the five times Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng have sex for their job, and the first time they have sex outside of it.)

Only the Shallow by hamburglar

When Nie Huaisang gets bored and convinces Jiang Cheng to make out with him, he’s probably not expecting to still be dealing with the guy 16 years later.

OR the story where Jiang Cheng goes into: the Cloud Recesses, denial, some bushes, the private porn library at the Unclean Realm, and subspace.

Blind for Love by manamune

Jiang Cheng is poisoned with an aphrodisiac and needs to orgasm repeatedly in order to flush it from his system.

The first person he thinks of going to for help is Nie Huaisang, who does what any good friend would do: he shoves his three decades worth of feelings for Jiang Cheng deep into the recesses of his mind, locks them up so he can pretend they don’t exist, and then fucks him so hard that he passes out.

Descending by lightningwaltz

“I want to… to not be embarrassed.”

“To not be embarrassed during what?”

“During sex.” There. Jiang Cheng can say it. “In general. Also with you right now.”

“Very good.”

“When did you become so authoritative?” Jiang Cheng wants to sound irked, but can’t quite manage anything beyond nervous curiosity.

dark water by Morgan (duckwhatduck)

There are words, somewhere, for this. Words that would put a shape to the thing that sits between them, would seal their understanding. There are words for sympathy, for friendship, for understanding, for that touch, for this feeling.

Jiang Cheng can feel them, somewhere, fluttering formless at the back of his throat, squirming under his ribcage, but he cannot grasp them. They swim beneath the surface, fish in muddy water - and like fish, they will dart away if he grabs for them incautiously, and leave him nothing but cold splashes and grit.

Or: Why talk about things when you could fuck about it instead?

never knew i was a dancer by isozyme

“What’s a stone butch and why aren’t they real?” Jiang Cheng asks, too buzzed to care too much about not being up on lesbian culture.

Huaisang pats Jiang Cheng on the no-man’s-land between her boobs and her shoulder. “You’re so useless, Jiang Cheng. A stone butch is a fictional hottie who doesn’t make you do any work at all, just wants to give head and fuck you stupid on her strap.”

“Fictional?” Jiang Cheng echoes, having - not a moment, per se, but sort of a problem where her thoughts are going too fast for her poor drunken brain to keep up with.

“Nobody actually wants to fuck a chick who’s too lazy to eat you out after,” Huaisang mumbles.

-

After leaving Wei Ying and Lan Zhan’s bachelorette party, Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang decide to experiment with some outdated stereotypical lesbian sex roles.

lights out by rynleaf

“Nie-zongzhu makes the most sense,” Sect Leader Yao nods sagely, to murmurs of assent across the Jin Sect’s gold gilded banquet hall. Jin Ling, clad in opulent robes that look somewhat comical on a boy of sixteen, inclines his head as his scribe makes a notation, and the noise rises as sect leaders pat themselves and each other on the back for a decision well made.

Jiang Cheng groans and downs his cup of wine in one go.

-

In which the Sect Leaders elect a new Chief Cultivator.

shadow eternal by rynleaf

“You want me to distract the Chief Cultivator from the Annual Cultivation Conference, so you and other sect leaders can… what. Sign contracts without adult supervision?”

“If Jiang-zongzhu is amenable,” Sect Leader Ouyang repeats with a nod.

Jiang Cheng pinches the bridge of his nose. The pressure he felt building behind his eyes all morning is swiftly coalescing into a bitch of a headache. “Just what do you all think I’m capable of?”

Sect Leader Ouyang bows with a cheerful smile. “We have utmost faith in Sandu Shengshou’s abilities.”

-

In which a night hunt ends in disaster, Jiang Cheng catches a glimpse of Nie Huaisang's heart, and feelings are discussed after a certain fashion.

Four Days in Lanling by halotolerant

Nie Huaisang looks at him. ‘You are confusing me, Clan Leader Jiang, perhaps I misunderstand, but…’

‘You didn’t misunderstand. You don’t misunderstand. You understand all of it.’ For six months Jiang Cheng has been mulling this over, and now with Nie Huaisang in front of him he can’t figure out if he most wants to knock him down or kneel at his feet. What he does is try and breathe. Clench his hands at his sides. ‘And now I am going to ask you to do something for me. You have to do something for me. You have to help Jin Ling.’

Lean for Love Forever by Pip (Moirail)

Having a crush on your roommate is really embarrassing, except that's apparently the opposite of a problem. Jiang Cheng can't deny that's pretty convenient.

Wei Ying holds it up, a series of straps and buckles and velcro and wow, really a lot of leather. It has absolutely no conceivable form beyond tangled.

Nie Huaisang opens the door at exactly the moment that Wei Ying holds the thing up to Jiang Cheng’s chest, as if he’s trying to imagine how exactly it would fit onto a person, and it falls into a tangled pile between them while they stare at Huaisang in mild mortification.

acquired momentum by mongrelmind

Had Madam Yu known that this is where her son would end up, she would have gouged his eyes out with her bracelet before he made the grave mistake of looking in the direction of Nie Huaisang.

-

in which Nie Huaisang has an art show, Jiang Cheng is begrudgingly topless*, and there are. Shenanigans.

*Nie Huaisang excluded.

[angstymdzsthoughts]

I promised that I would share the convo me and @time-flies-by​ had earlier today regarding the Maleficent AU post, so here it is!

-

time-flies-by Dude that Maleficent AU-

angstymdzsthoughts I knoooow

angstymdzsthoughts It got a bit dark on me

time-flies-by It did, but goddamn was it good!

angstymdzsthoughts Right? I'm super happy with it

time-flies-by As you should! It actually gave me chills

angstymdzsthoughts WWX goes to sleep in his husbands arms, happy and in love. Wakes up to that husband mutilating him Thank you!!!

time-flies-by The best part, is that LWJ doesn’t even see anything wrong with it. He’s just like, “it has to happen”

angstymdzsthoughts Yep! Just another part of getting married to him

time-flies-by WWX definitely leaves understanding Madam Lan a lot better.

angstymdzsthoughts Oof LWJ grows up around spouses who seem perfectly happy with life after losing their wings And his mother, who still had her wings, was miserable So he thinks hes actually helping to make WWX happier

time-flies-by Double oof WWX really doesn’t understand what he was getting himself into.

angstymdzsthoughts Oh my god other spouses try to warn him (in a quiet subtle way so their husbands don’t get upset)

angstymdzsthoughts All the Lans are taught that this is a special, intimate experience between spouses

angstymdzsthoughts I feel like Su She is jealous that LWJ got to experience that and is vindictively happy when WWX ran away

time-flies-by Oh my god, the Lans all brainwashed into thinking that the tight smiles, and the tears are signs of love, when in reality their spouse is trying so hard to not hate them. Soakxldowkenenw fuxking Su She

angstymdzsthoughts The spouses are all trapped. Oh wait

angstymdzsthoughts The "soulmate" thing only happens once or twice in a generation and Madam Lan had been the most recent before WWX so the spouse around who tries to warn him away is an old woman who has been married and trapped in the CR for life 55 years That makes it so much worse

time-flies-by Oh my god, imagine wwx accidentally runs into the the wing room, and is absolutely horrified to find all the wings there, so he goes to lwj and is all like “Lan Zhan? What’s this?” And LWJ just goes “don’t worry Wei ying, I’ll make sure that never happens to you.” And what he means is “I’ll make sure your grounding isn’t as painful as theirs.” And wwx trusts LWJ 100%, but then their own grounding happens.

angstymdzsthoughts OOF Oh my god just rip my heart out

angstymdzsthoughts All I can picture is WWX crying and calling LWJ a liar before he's silenced Most disturbing part is how gentle and loving LWJ is being while hes Removing His Husbands Limbs Soft little praises and telling WWX that they will be happy together now

angstymdzsthoughts Ohhh WWX is totally gonna blame himself if he saw the wings and didn't immediately run Gets to Yunmeng like 'how could I be so stupid to believe him'

time-flies-by Ooh especially if the spouses before him tried warning him too.

angstymdzsthoughts Yes Exactly

time-flies-by WWX: The signs were all there. . . There was a red flag everywhere!

angstymdzsthoughts The way WWX sees it is like that 'face eating leopard party' meme Everyone else is just plain horrified

time-flies-by Oof 😂

angstymdzsthoughts LWJ is crying in the CR asking what he did wrong Yunmeng Jiang is ready to start a war in order to get WWX his wings back

time-flies-by Omg yesssss The Lans are all clueless and offended because they see NOTHING wrong with their traditions.

angstymdzsthoughts Someone tries to put it in perspective for them. "How would you react if your spouse cut off your hands?" But the Lans dont get it and just dig their hole deeper. "Thats ridiculous! You Need hands! Wings are in no way a necessity."

time-flies-by Aish 😓

time-flies-by Yeah no, the Jiangs are definitely cutting all ties with the Lan after that.

angstymdzsthoughts The Lans argue that wings do nothing but make someone fickle and reckless and arrogant. They Need to be earth bound so they can learn stability and humbleness ... Oh my god... Horrible thought

time-flies-by Do tell

angstymdzsthoughts Some children of grounded spouses end up with wings too But they get them cut off when they are younger Should it be LXC or LWJ who use to have wings?

angstymdzsthoughts Spend their entire adolescence being ashamed of the wings and eagerly waiting for the day they can be removed

time-flies-by Oooh maybe LXC?

angstymdzsthoughts The most recent wings added are a pair of small white ones maybe half the size of WWXs and the sight of them make him run out because he may be sick

time-flies-by Oh god, what if there’s like, a whole room just full of children’s wings.

Angstymdzsthoughts Of course the Lans would keep them Ohhh WWX hears people talking about the grounding ceremony that will follow the honeymoon and has no idea what their all talking about He asks and the Lans explain that it's a sacred ceremony between spouses that truly binds the new spouse to the Lan family WWX is like- oh wow that sounds really great! Like a big 'welcome to the family'!

time-flies-by Oh no that make it worse! WWX is super excited for the ceremony. He’s like hyping himself up nonstop.

angstymdzsthoughts Oh with the Lan members with wings- they normally have a form of the grounding ceremony when they get their courtesy name and become a Real Lan. Lose your wings and get a name Oh my gooood WWX and LWJ go to bed that night talking about how the bonding ceremony will be tomorrow morning and LWJ assures him that he knows WWX will be perfect

time-flies-by Oh god no, I’m just imagining a bunch of children scared but super willing to lose their wings, because they’d been taught that having them made them everything the clan was against

angstymdzsthoughts WWX, cuddling close: What if I mess up and make a fool of myself? No ones really told me what to do yet. LWJ, petting WWXs wings lovingly: Don't worry, I'll take care of everything Exactly

time-flies-by Oooh I just got chills again

angstymdzsthoughts Something about LWJ touching and admiring WWXs wings in this context... 😨

time-flies-by LWJ: once I get rid of these, he’ll be all mine.

angstymdzsthoughts Touching wings isn't a normal thing outside of family (given that touching in general isn't normal in Chinese culture) but WWX was always super ok with friends petting his wings. He totally offered to let LWJ touch his wings when they were teenagers after catching him admiring them

angstymdzsthoughts LWJ hadn't felt a wing since his mother died shortly after her Binding and WWXs are a really beautiful glossy black color that turns a dark, rich purple if the light hits them just right. Of course he wants to touch

time-flies-by 😥😥

angstymdzsthoughts LWJ, cautiously running one finger along the feathers: They are so big... WWX: Of course they are! My wings have to be big and strong to carry me while I fly! LWJ immediately snatching his hand back, suddenly cold at the remainder that WWX can and will fly away far, far away from him

time-flies-by LWJ is really undermining the love WWX has for him by being that concerned that he’ll leave him.

angstymdzsthoughts He got brainwashed by his clan and he saw his mothers constant attempts to escape. Everyone around him said that the only reason she was trying to leave was because of her wings. If his own mother would leave him because of wings, what would stop WWX?

angstymdzsthoughts Madam Lan got way too close to actually escaping and QHJ was pressured into finally doing the ceremony. Madam Lan didn't last long after that

time-flies-by sent a post Source (****)

angstymdzsthoughts Hahaha

angstymdzsthoughts You know what would be worse? Baby A-Yuan with wings

time-flies-by Oh noooooo

angstymdzsthoughts Like au where LWJ didn't do the binding and unbrainwashed himself Then A-Yuan is born with wings and he grows up being told he won’t be a Real Lan if he keeps them So his parents have no plans of removing them but as his naming ceremony gets closer Yuan says he Wants to get rid of them WWX is immediately packing a bag and getting him and his son the hell out of there. LWJ is right behind him with another bag

time-flies-by Oof yes I like that

time-flies-by But like what if, the day before they leave or something, A-yuan runs to the elders and tells them about what his parents plan to do, and he’s so desperate to get rid of his wings that he asks them to just do the ceremony there and then

angstymdzsthoughts AAAAAAAAAA

time-flies-by When LWJ and WWX wake, they’re so stressed cause they can’t find A-yuan, but a few minutes later he comes in all proud and wingless

angstymdzsthoughts I mean since its Maleficent au wings are apparently magic and can be put right back on but Still Horrible WWX cries LWJ is gonna fight to get his sons wings back and then get his family the hell out of there Oh my god..... LWJ walking through a room full of tiny, near identical wings looking for the little pair that he would recognize anywhere

angstymdzsthoughts Let's a few tears out when he finds them. Remembers helping WWX clean and groom them and watching while WWX taught their son to balance and fly using those wings Hates himself for not seeing what his clan was doing to LSZ and not getting them away from all of it sooner

time-flies-by Codnekaoenen perfect

time-flies-by Heartbreaking, but perfect

angstymdzsthoughts Also, if things had gone according to plan and they left before LSZ did the Binding Yuan, struggling and crying: But I won’t be a Real Lan! WWX, throwing Yuan over his shoulder to carry him mid tantrum: Then you're gonna be a Wei. Lan Zhan, would you please carry this bag? LWJ, taking the bag: Mn. Wei Yuan sounds nice.

angstymdzsthoughts Then they go to Yunmeng so LSZ can grow up in a healthier environment

time-flies-by Oh I like your version better.

angstymdzsthoughts You brought the pain, I brought a bandaid

time-flies-by Haha yes yes, thank you

angstymdzsthoughts Oof tho. LWJ finds the wings and brings them home where WWX is guarding Yuan while he sleeps. They Return the wings while Yuan sleeps and return to making plans to go to Yunmeng once Yuan wakes When he wakes up and has his wings back he bursts into tears.

angstymdzsthoughts Could be because he really missed his wings and is glad to have them back or because this means he's gonna have to go through the grounding AGAIN and it really hurt the first time and he doesn't want to go through it again. Maybe both

time-flies-by If both, then WWX and LWJ will do their best to reassure him that he won’t have to go through the grounding ever again.

angstymdzsthoughts Aww little Yuan crying so hard he can hardly breath and bringing his wings around himself so he can pet and groom them because he needs to make sure this is real and their back

angstymdzsthoughts Oof. Imagine LXC seeing this and wishing he could have kept his wings. Goes to visit his wings and knows that they are too small to fit his body now that hes an adult so he's lost his chance

time-flies-by *sigh* we really should give LXC a break.

angstymdzsthoughts Never Ok how about he gets his wings back and even tho there too small because they never got the chance to grow with him and he'll never be able to fly hes so unbelievably happy WWX and Yuan teach him how to groom his wings correctly because the only person who ever did that was his mother and he cant quite remember how to do it

time-flies-by *sniff* family bonding time

angstymdzsthoughts He starts an arrangement with Yunmeng Jiang so he can send any winged Lans to them for half the year so they can learn that having wings Isnt the worse thing in the world

time-flies-by Oooh yes yes That’s good.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 18, second part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Hey OP where’s the funny header gif for this post? Sorry, it was murdered by an angst demon and the framing of these shots.

My Found Family Came to Find Me

Continuing our flashback from last time, we see Baby Wei Ying up a tree, refusing to come down because he's afraid there are dogs. Eventually he falls out of the tree, like a dumbass a child, and Yanli tries but fails to catch him. 

Unlike his grownup counterpart, Baby Wei Ying doesn't pretend he's unhurt when he is hurt. I'd like to put the change at Yu Ziyuan's door, but actually he admits to being hurt during his Gusu summer - he mimics Lan Zhan's stoicism when they're getting beaten, but it doesn't come naturally to him, and he whines a lot afterwards. 

By the time of the Animatronic Dog incident, however, he's laughing off obvious injuries that have secret trauma behind them. By the time he comes back, coreless, from the burial mounds, he won't confide in anyone about his hurts any more, except possibly Wen Qing.

Yanli carries Wei Ying, in a sequence that will be echoed much later in his life when Lan Zhan carries him (gifset here). While they head back, she tells him that Jiang Cheng has a bad temper and to ignore whatever mean things he says. This will also be echoed in the future, when Wei Wuxian says it to Lan Zhan after their argument with Jiang Cheng in the shrine.

Yanli also explains that Jiang Cheng loved his dogs and that he's been very sad since Jiang Fengmian sent them away, demonstrating once again that Jiang Fengmian is a terrible father. Yanli says that Jiang Cheng will be happy to have a friend with him, though. This kind of makes Wei Wuxian's role in Jiang Cheng's life "replacement dog."

Jiang Cheng, after getting over this particular snit, got worried about Wei Wuxian and woke up Yanli to find him, and then went wandering around in the dark like a dumbass a child, and is banged up and crying when the other two find him. Yanli encourages him to apologize to Wei Wuxian and he does, which will not happen again until the very end of the show.  

They all smile and laugh together, as Wei Ying looks to Yanli to guide him through the insanity that his life has suddenly become. 

(more behind the cut!)

They head back to Lotus Pier in a sweet montage of walking and smiling together, with Jiang Cheng carrying the world's most beautiful candle holder with the world's most wind-resistant candle in it, to light their way back. Back in the present day for a brief moment, Jiang Cheng pretends to sleep and listens to his sister insisting that the three of them should always stay together, while a single tear rolls down the side of his face.

Soup is Love, Chapter 1 of 1000

Then we head to the past again. In Jiang Cheng & Wei Ying's now-shared room, Wei Ying sits on the bed trying to figure out how to deal with his grumpy new roommate.

Wei Ying is unsure what to do when confronted with pajama game this strong. Tiny Jiang Cheng is already a fashion king. 

Then he tells Jiang Cheng he's not going to narc him out to the clan leader, since it was his own fault that he hurt his leg. This is all Jiang Cheng needs to hear to decide Wei Ying is all right, and he says that he will help Wei Ying chase away dogs in the future.  In fact, Wei Wuxian will protect Jiang Cheng from punishment basically forever, while Jiang Cheng will continue to threaten Wei Wuxian with dogs...forever.

They shake hands on their new understanding and then jump up and down laughing, Wei Ying's leg being all better now, apparently.  When Yanli arrives (carrying a tray of...can you guess? I'll let you guess), they stop jumping. Wei Ying dives in to give Jiang Cheng a little tickle/embrace in an adorable moment that would have me saying "oh, my ovaries!" if I hadn't surgically sent my ovaries to hell a few years ago.

Yanli introduces Wei Ying to the emotional and gustatorial miracle that is her lotus and ribs soup. He hesitates a long time before tucking in because he's so unused to being fed.

Consent? I Don’t Even Know Her

The flashback wraps up with Yanli conked out on the table from the drugs in the incense burner, while Wei Wuxian, who is somehow unaffected despite sitting almost as close to the smoke as she was, checks on her. Jiang Cheng and his Uggs period-appropriate sock thingies get out of bed to come stand with Wei Wuxian, and have feelings about sending Yanli away after she JUST said she doesn't want to be parted from them.

Wei Wuxian: If she didn't want us to do this, she shouldn't have signed that blanket consent-to-medical-treatment form.   Jiang Cheng: Wen Qing made me sign one of those plus a durable power of attorney, is that bad?

This episode is all about people overriding each others' agency and making massively important decisions without the consent of the people who will be affected. But in a feudal context, it's not a violation, no matter how it feels to the person being controlled. In feudal life, your body belongs to your lord -- your sect leader, in the world of CQL. Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng's choices are overridden by their clan leader's final command to Wei Wuxian.  Wei Wuxian's core is arguably Jiang Fengmian's property--Wei Wuxian certainly sees it that way, just as his hand was Yu Ziyuan's to take if she wished.  

The brothers tenderly tuck Yanli into bed in the rolly cart and hand her off to Song Lan. They talk about how important it is to get her to Lanling and that she's probably going to be mad, as they thank Song Lan for helping them. 

Yanli listens while she sleeps and, in what is becoming a trademark Jiang move, lets a single tear roll down the side of her face. Jiang Cheng points out that Yanli never gets mad at Wei Wuxian and Wei Wuxian is like, true dat.

How Can You Mend a Broken Heart?

Song Lan is always so emotional about every damn thing, I love him. Here he's like OH GOD NO DON'T FORMALLY THANK ME! STOP!!!

Then he starts to ask Wei Wuxian to pass a message to Song Xingchen for him, but then decides not to say anything, making it super obvious that they fought and aren't together. 

Wei Wuxian reacts to this with confusion and distress, probably because he doesn't want to imagine ever having a breakup with his own soulmate. Which he soon will be having.  But possibly he's just upset that his OTP broke up.

After Song Lan takes off, Jiang Cheng gives Wen Qing a rude & perfunctory thank-you bow, turning away before she can return it. Wei Wuxian tells her not to take it to heart - basically everyone who deals with Jiang Cheng gets a version of the "ignore what he says" speech. She says she understands and that in his place she would have behaved worse, which is so totally not true.  

Then she asks Wei Wuxian if he's sure about the core transfer (not in so many words, because the script is being kind of being vague about it, without actually hiding what's happening). His reply pretty much encapsulates the whole Wei Wuxian experience.

Then he and Jiang Cheng walk off, with Jiang Cheng giving us a rear view that had me googling Wang Zhuocheng's fashion shoots to determine if that wagon he's draggin’ is really as delightful as this belt makes it look. Alas, there is not a wealth of photographic evidence for this research, as compared to, for example, photos of Xiao Zhan's outstanding ass.

Wen Qing and Wen Ning see them off, with Wen Qing wishing they valued their lives more. Although, what she and Wen Ning are doing is massive treason, so their lives will be pretty much forfeit if they're caught, so...

The Sunshot Campaign of Like 60 Dudes

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng walk up the mountain for the whole beginning of the Sunshot campaign, which...okay. Maybe it's like Dunkirk or The Witcher where they intercut stuff that is happening in different timeframes, which is one of my least favorite new film style thingies.

You know, for a guy Wei Wuxian constantly calls "peacock," Jin Ziyuan really doesn't wear a lot of adornment; just some subtle metalwork on his belt with no dangly bits at all, and a single reasonably-sized hair crown. Compared to the extremely fancy Lan Wangji he's almost plain. We already know that Wei Wuxian is a massive hypocrite when it comes to his idea of a perfect boy, however.

So, this is the Lanling Jin army, which consists of literally 60 guys, including the ones on the stairs and Jin Zixuan and Douchebag Dad. How are they going to fight a war with this tiny group? Why do they have such a big plaza? Hasn't anybody on this production learned CGI cloning?

That’s better.

Nie Mingjue and his best bitch Baxia make quick work of the 4 Wen guys who were assigned to hold the Unclean Realm. 

Hello, Daddy Da-Ge!

Squeeee, it's Lan Wangji! He's taking back Cloud Recesses! Ooooohhh we've missed you Lan Wangji.

Look guys he's here! Look how beautiful he is. He's looking at the gate of cloud recesses and thinking thoughts that Lan Xichen or Wei Wuxian could probably see in his bewitching eyes if they were here to see him, which they aren't. But at least he is here!

....and now he's gone again. *cries*

Hares On The Mountains

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian continue roaming prettily around this pretty mountainside. The locations in this show are such eye candy. 

Young laddies they run like hares on the mountains Young laddies they run like hares on the mountains  Young laddies they run like hares on the mountains  If I was a young lass I’d soon go a hunting

Jiang Cheng starts to have doubts about the whole Baoshan Sanren thing. Wei Wuxian's reply pretty much encapsulates the whole Wei Wuxian experience.  

Then we have just the tenderest blindfolding scene, (more gifs here), which is fodder for your ChengXian dreams, if you have those.

Here's a good place for a sidebar about what is and isn't incest. Whee! In the CDrama context, relationships tend to be more clearly defined than in western media. The mechanism of confession & acceptance means that people either are or are not in a romantic relationship, with few grey areas. So a character can literally say "we grew up as brother and sister, but now we are dating" and when someone looks startled they just say "there's no blood relation" and everyone is like "cool cool" and that's the new definition of the relationship.

For a strong example of this, the extremely wonderful Go Ahead is about a contemporary family in which a girl and two boys, who are not blood relatives, are all raised together, and call each other brother and sister. When they become adults, they and everyone around them expect the girl (now a woman) to marry one of the two men who have been her brothers, while whichever one she doesn't choose will carry on as her sibling. It's treated as the most natural, logical thing in the world; the only question is whether she wants to make that transition, and with whom.

Looked at through this lens, Wei Wuxian's relationships with his adoptive siblings have just as much potential to turn into romances as his relationships with his friends do, and there's nothing creepy about it. As such you can expect my meta to always get into ChengXian moments without treating it as a wrong or forbidden love. Hopeless, of course, because Jiang Cheng is such a prick the power of WangXian is stronger, but that's a different matter.

What is wrong is wearing this fantastic hat & veil combination when the most fashionable person on the mountain is blindfolded and can't see it.

In the course of this blindfolded encounter with Wen Qing, Jiang Cheng gets to kneel before a powerful woman, be led along by a length of silk that's placed in his hand, and then knocked the fuck out and operated on. He'll wake up in a hotel room in a tub full of ice with "we took your kidney" written on the mirror in lipstick, and he'll love every minute of it.  

Soundtrack: 1. Still Fighting it, by Ben Folds 2. Hares on the Mountain, by Steeleye Span

Writing Prompt: The NEXT time somebody blindfolds Jiang Cheng

[antebunny]

Parent Trap AU 5

It’s a Parent Trap AU, plus on-the-run hacker!wwx and celebrity!lwj. Full series here.

-

At first, Lan Wangji finds writing songs to be extremely challenging.

He’s all but quit his job, and his son is gone. He’s alone in the house he once shared with his family, while his brother tries to keep quiet about pitying him and supporting him, and his uncle demands to know why he has no interest in searching for his son. He’s the one that files the kidnapping report, in the end. Not that it does much; they’re already searching for Wei Ying, since he escaped from prison.

All Lan Wangji really does, during this time, is cry by his piano, and sing.

The melodies come naturally to him. He’s been writing melodies for years, and these songs are no different. He has a thousand things to say, so some are angry, so fast he thinks he might tear his fingers on the guitar strings, some are soft with only piano accompaniment. All too soon he has dozens of recordings of phrases that can be put together into full-length songs. The only one he doesn’t record is the one he wrote for guqin, years ago.

But the lyrics, the lyrics he struggles with for ages. Not Lan Wangji finds himself at a loss for what to say. He doesn’t speak much, it’s true, but when he does he always finds precisely what he wants to say. Rather, Lan Wangji finds he has too much to say.

One Friday afternoon, he sits down on his couch and plays the same ten-minute ballad on his guitar, trying again and again to find a way to shorten it without feeling like he’s ripping a part of his already shattered heart out of his chest. While suppressing the urge to write more verses. He knows he can’t leave them all in; it’s too repetitive. He wants these songs to be good, though he doesn’t really plan on marketing them. A large part of him thinks it’ll always be like this. Just him and his instruments, alone in the living room, mourning over a love long lost, making himself cry over his own lyrics.

Still, Lan Wangji is a perfectionist at heart. He has to do something about the ten-minute ballad. It’s longer than two songs put together.

What if I made them two separate songs?

The thought comes to Lan Wangji suddenly, and he sets down his guitar to pick up the notebook containing the lyrics. This could work. He becomes convinced of this the longer he looks at the lyrics. He’ll never run out of things to say about Wei Ying, but if he separated each of those things into one song–that could work.

He chooses a different melody, edits the lyrics to fit it, picks out a theme, an aspect of Wei Ying to sing about, and suddenly he has a whole discography, and not a single published song.

Lan Wangji goes to his brother.

“Are you sure about this?” Lan Xichen asks, his brows pulled together in a small, worried dip.

“Mn.”

They stare at each other without speaking, because Lan Xichen knows that every concern he might think of, Lan Wangji has already over thought.

“Even if he hears them?”

Lan Wangji will never be famous enough that Wei Ying, wherever in the world he might be, will hear his songs. But if he does, then all the better. “Mn.”

Lan Xichen sighs. “I just don’t want to see you hurt anymore.”

Lan Wangji doesn’t think that’s possible. “Hm.”

Lan Xichen sighs again. “Okay,” he says. “If that’s what you want. I’m sure A-Yao knows someone. I’ll ask.”

It’s a while before he finds someone who’ll actually produce his music, but he’s happy with the person he ends up with. Luo Qingyang emails him back almost immediately after she listens to his demo.

I need you down here yesterday, she says. This is getting produced right now.

His first song, When We Were Young, is released as a single less than a year after the scandal that took Wei Ying from his life, under the stage name “Hanguang-jun.” He’s not sure it fits, but he wants to.

And suddenly, it looks like Lan Wangji might actually be that famous.

Of course, it’s still years in the future, so Lan Wangji carries on like he’s not. His second single, At First Glance, does even better than When We Were Young, and his manager starts bothering him about a music video. Apparently it’s expected of him, but Lan Wangji rejects all of the ideas that the directors Luo Qingyang finds for him come up with. They end up renting a house for a week and filming there, then going to a studio with lights and a piano. Lan Wangji dresses up for that and plays his heart out, and that’s it, that’s the music video.

His third single, Under Moonlight, is somehow more popular than his previous two combined. He has fans now, or maybe it’s just that he’s only now realizing it. He’s not quite sure what to do with that. The video this time takes place on the very bridge the song talks about. He doesn’t do much, since he rejected the idea of hiring actors to play the “counterpart,” so he’s confused as to why it continues gaining views on YouTube. Apparently he looks young. He’s not sure if this is insulting or not, but the internet would probably be shocked to learn he has a five-year-old son.

Lan Sizhui is too young to listen to music by himself, so Lan Wangji hopes that somewhere, there’s a radio playing one of the new hit songs by Hanguang-jun, and a father-son duo walking past.

Luo Qingyang bullies him into exactly one interview before his first album is released. On it, he accidentally confirms that all the songs on the album are about one person, and panics after that, not wishing to reveal anything about Wei Ying or even Lan Wangji’s own name on camera.

Apparently the mystery helps? Lan Wangji understands fame less and less the closer he comes to it. He thought if he just wrote good songs, enough people would listen to him that Wei Ying would hear it. Wei Ying is spotted in Thailand, and Lan Wangji ends up naming his first album Oceans Apart.

It sells, and it sells, and still, Wei Ying and their son are nowhere to be found.

-

Wei Wuxian is lying on a roof the night of his wedding anniversary.

Purple, white, and red fireworks explode in the black sky above him. There’s some celebration going on in the city, and Wei Wuxian takes advantage of it to pretend it’s in celebration of his anniversary.

Not that there’s much to celebrate. He doesn’t think it’s typical to celebrate the anniversary of a marriage which no longer exists, but their marriage didn’t end in the typical way either.

And he still loves Lan Zhan. Loves him so much that the sight of rabbits brings him to tears. So much that he feels like a traitor whenever someone so much as smiles in his direction, so much that he can’t imagine himself flirting with someone. So much that he cries on the roof when the fireworks light up the sky.

“Papa?”

Wei Wuxian looks to the right, and there’s Wei Sizhui, who is sometimes the only thing keeping Wei Wuxian going on his darkest nights. He’s nestled up with Wei Wuxian’s arm around him, small face peering earnestly at him from the dark. “What?”

“Why are you crying?”

Wei Wuxian raises one hand instinctively to rub the tears away. He’d forgotten about that. He’s thrown himself fully into caring for his son, making sure that he has clothes and good food to eat, which is hard when they never stay in a place for long and Wei Wuxian is paranoid of anyone who stares at them too long. Sometimes he wonders if he’s really doing any good, keeping Wei Sizhui away from his other father and uncles and aunts, from a happy childhood with friends and a school. And every time, he blinks back to the moment he woke up in the prison having narrowly avoided being murdered, and knows that Wei Sizhui is still safer with him than he’d be if he was still there, within the Jins reach.

“Nothing,” Wei Wuxian says. “It’s nothing.”

Wei Sizhui frowns. “But Papa is sad,” he declares.

Wei Wuxian presses the back of his hand over his eyes. Fireworks crack so loudly it muffles his shaky inhale. Tears stream down his cheeks and around his ears. Red lights flash across his eyelids.

-

White lights flash through the stage, focusing on the solitary grand piano, and Lan Wangji, in his white suit, seated on the piano bench. A hush falls across the massive crowd. He adjusts his microphone slightly, and places his fingers gently atop the keys. The cameras zoom in on him.

And Lan Wangji sings.

-

“I’m just remembering,” Wei Wuxian whispers. “Someone I used to know.”

“Is it Dad?” Wei Sizhui asks timidly.

Wei Wuxian inhales shakily again, then wraps his arm back around his son. “Yeah,” he admits. “It’s your other father.”

He hasn’t looked back since he ran away. Countless times, he’s thought about Googling the Jiangs in an internet cafe, just to check on how they’re doing. They have social media profiles, so he could. He could. But even the slightest hint of connection could ruin what Wei Wuxian has managed to salvage. The Jiangs would fight for him. Would drag their names in the mud for him, and he can’t let them do that to themselves, so he cuts all ties and doesn’t look back.

Wei Wuxian hasn’t dared to search Lan Wangji since he ran away.

-

“Hello,” Lan Wangji sings, and the crowd cheers.“It’s me. I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet, to go over everything. They say that time’s supposed to heal you, but I ain’t done much healing.”

Before he knows it, there’s tears streaming down his face. They drip onto his nice white suit, but the music doesn’t pause.

-

Hello from the other side

“Will we ever see him again?” Wei Sizhui asks plaintively.

I must have called a thousand times

Wei Wuxian tries to shake his head, his shoulders pressed against the dusty brick roof. “I don’t know, baby,” he says.

To tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done

“But why not?” Wei Sizhui pushes. It’s far from the first time he’s asked, but each day it gets harder and harder to answer.

Hello from the outside

“Because he’s very, very far away,” Wei Wuxian replies this time, and tries not to think of Lan Zhan as he last saw him, sleeping peacefully in their bed the night Wei Wuxian broke in and took Wei Sizhui with him. “Oceans away.”

At least I can say that I tried

Eventually, the fireworks stop, and Wei Sizhui falls asleep, head resting in the crook of Wei Wuxian’s arm. Wei Wuxian raises one hand to the midnight sky, pretends he can reach through the vast expanse to wherever his family is. “Happy anniversary, Lan Zhan,” he whispers. “I miss you.”

To tell you I’m sorry for breaking your heart

Eventually, the song ends, and the cheers deafen the stadium. The lights go out long after Lan Wangji has gotten up from his seat and stepped away from the microphone. The tears on his face are invisible until the cameras focus in on him walking.

“Happy anniversary, Wei Ying,” he whispers, before he picks up the microphone to thank the crowd. “I love you.”

[aiyexayen]

The ChengXian/WangXian parallel gifsets about the sad boat rides with Wen Ning made me think, once again, about how Wei Ying was worried about being the Jiang Cheng in his relationship with Lan Zhan.

Wei Ying just had so few models of relationship, and only two real models of a serious relationship involving himself--Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli. He saw himself as a caretaker in each of them.

Even Jiang Yanli, ultimately, though there was certainly more give and take there. He only accepted a very specific kind of caretaking from her, though, and we see how fraught that was in the way Yu-furen shamed Jiang Yanli for it.

But Jiang Cheng was the most complicated. He and Wei Ying were the Yunmeng Shuangjie. Twin Heroes. Both of them strong male cultivators. Their relationship was such a carefully orchestrated imbalance. Wei Ying had to take care of Jiang Cheng even to the point of making sure Jiang Cheng didn’t feel taken care of. He was stronger, but he had to make sure Jiang Cheng didn’t feel weaker.

And at the same time, he had to be able to have his best friend and brother and navigate the lines of teasing and boasting that came with those dynamics and also with his natural brash and outgoing and free-spirited personality. It’s not something that weighed particularly heavy on him until later on, of course; it’s just How Things Were.

But Lan Zhan being Wei Ying's true equal was a heady taste of something new, something he was desperate for.

Someone he didn’t have to take care of in all those tricky, sticky ways. Someone who could understand him from the outside. That equality between them--of swords and strength and wit--formed so much of their early relationship. The ways Wei Ying and Lan Zhan excelled differently weren’t seen as anything but surface-level differences, cultivation styles. They could choose to take care of each other on their own (like in the Xuanwu cave) but there were no expectations except that which they set for themselves.

The best cohesive example I can think of is the situation at Dafan Mountain. Jiang Cheng has taken off after Wei Ying, to come and find his troublemaking brother and bring him home, ostensibly being the one to wrangle and care for his brother and best friend and someday-second. But as soon as he finds them, Wei Ying is clearly the one in charge. Jiang Cheng gets locked into a shield barrier, given a verbal half-teasing pat on the head, and left behind. Wei Ying goes off with Lan Zhan to find the source of the problems and their new level of partnership is beautifully put on display through their fight (other things happen in that fight, too, but that’s another post).

Jiang Cheng was never allowed to truly take care of Wei Ying. His parents never let him. Wei Ying never let him. He tried, all the time, most of all when he gave himself up to the Wen soldiers. But even that was immediately undone, turned back around on him.

Wei Ying never figured out how to attain any semblance of true equilibrium in his relationship with Jiang Cheng, even after everything at Lotus Pier, especially after everything at Lotus Pier, either before or after the core transfer. Maybe if he had, things would have been different. Maybe if he had, he wouldn’t have sacrificed his core to begin with.

It’s debatable how much Wei Ying expected to keep living after his core was gone. It’s even more debatable how much he really thought about anything past his own desperation in the moment, about all the promises broken with that single act, about how that would affect his relationship with anyone else. That doesn’t seem like a very Wei Ying thing to sit and think about.

Regardless, once the core was gone, he and Lan Zhan weren't equals. It messed up his relationship with Jiang Cheng, too, of course. The resentful energy was its own kind of strength but it couldn’t make up the difference in any way that counted. It just complicated everything by a thousand times and added in all kinds of new problems.

Even though Jiang Cheng had his core and Wei Ying had nothing but the tortured screams of the lost and vengeful echoing in his head, Wei Ying was still the caretaker there.

Don’t let Jiang Cheng find out the secret. Don’t let Lan Zhan become embroiled in it or expose the secret. Make sure Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli and Lotus Pier are okay. Lift Jiang Cheng up as a leader. Win the war. Apparently still be alive welp didn’t see that coming. Protect them all. Even if it means leaving.

But as much as he scrambled for strengths and leaned on his demonic cultivation he was still weak. Able to wipe out entire outposts of Wen agents yet repeatedly brought to a point where Lan Zhan could kill him easily and we know that the only way he could hope to match him would be to use this dangerous thing that's eating his soul, so shit could really get out of hand. Which wasn't really winning in the end. Demonic cultivation for him in general wasn’t strength so much as carefully-applied weakness.

Not to mention his reputation. They got so far off-balance where reputation and social standing was concerned.

Wei Ying’s merits had been contentious throughout his life--on the one hand, they're all he had to elevate himself beyond the need for the Jiangs' charity, or anyone's charity, as his status as family was so fraught and inconsistent. Being the best made all of that a moot point as much as it could be. And it also made him able to take care of said family, fulfilling all manner of "repay debt" vibes and "I'm obsessed with justice and protection" vibes.

On the other hand, they were definitely part of what made things so difficult with Jiang Cheng. Wei Ying’s reputation outclassing Jiang Cheng’s as a prodigy, a swordsman, a hero, even as he balanced it out by getting a simultaneous reputation for goofing off and being irresponsible. He did his best to make them complementary even though they were never really allowed to be.

But Jiang Cheng said it himself when he visited Wei Ying at the Burial Mounds--as soon as he started walking a different path, all of his merits and his skills and his reputation were turned upside down and used to make him a more effective villain.

So suddenly he didn’t even have any good social standing. He was mistrusted and then hated and reviled. On a number of levels, he could handle that, because it was more important to him that everyone who wasn’t him was okay. But it put him at complete odds with the great Hanguang-Jun, which was definitely something he made a point of noting more than once so we know it really, really mattered to him.

And that knowledge crept further and further in, between the war ending, things going back to some semblance of normal when he...couldn’t, and eventually him ending up in the Burial Mounds.

It was inevitable. He was the weaker one between himself and Lan Zhan, in every possible way. He knew of only one way that could go down.

It's a fear that got tangled up along with the rest of his paranoias, insecurities, traumas, resolutions, and twisted certainties pre-timeskip. On top of that, he lost a central piece of his identity and had no idea how to replace it.

If he isn't himself, who else can he be? Who else might he turn into? Someone who needs to be taken care of? Someone who might have his agency circumvented by a stronger person who thinks he knows better?

He sure did that to Jiang Cheng, and he never really had to own up to that piece of it. He never really regretted it either but he also sure didn't want to be on the other end of it.

Aside from that, Wei Ying just didn't know how to not be the strongest person. Being equal is the closest he’d ever come. He's never been allowed to be weak and taken care of unless he's play-acting and isn't that fucking heartbreaking? Fuck.

So who is he without that?

He still fought with the strengths he had and pretended to have the rest of them. And in one last great act of being the protector and caretaker, ran off to the Burial Mounds.

We do get to see Wei Ying and Lan Zhan working in tandem to bring back Wen Ning, and even though Wei Ying stumbles at the end (for the first time ever, I think, into Lan Zhan’s arms?), he does it successfully. They’re still able to work together, in spite of everything that’s happened, especially when Wei Ying is leaning into his actual talents. Even if Wei Ying’s weakness is still looming over his shoulder, as we see later.

Being with the Wens, living a simple life, leaning into his strengths, being part of a community and family, taking time to work on his scholarly/inventor hobbies, all this served to calm a lot of those fears and also conveniently take Wei Ying out of the scenarios and away from the relationships that caused them. It offered him tentative new pieces of identity to grab.

But then, of course, he lost that, too.

Post-timeskip, Wei Ying is thrust right back into a world where he has to finally face those issues. Whether you take it as he still has no core, or he has Mo Xuanyu’s really weak core, he’s not doing so great where that’s concerned.

He still has strengths. We’re not actually shown any indications that this man is weak at any point, not truly. He has a better grasp on the situation at Mo Manor than all of those precious Lan babies put together.

But we are shown that he uses a bunch of hands-on crafty tricks, talismans and spells and such. And, interestingly, in counterpoint we’re shown Lan Zhan descending from the heavens with his qin. Wei Ying doesn’t use a dizi here yet (let alone sword), and Lan Zhan doesn’t use Bichen. I do think that’s lovely.

However, Lan Zhan is still incredibly strong, in more ways than just physically: his reputation is strong, his presence is strong, his confidence is high, his mastery of the qin is unparalleled, he’s had sixteen more years to grow up and develop his golden core.

From the framing, and Wei Ying’s reactions, and the Lan juniors’ reactions, it’s pretty clear that’s the impression Wei Ying has. There’s an imbalance between them (along with alllll the other reasons he might have to want to stay away from/keep Lan Zhan out of things). He doesn’t see them as complementary, just as not-the-same.

He meets Jiang Cheng next and, hey, Jiang Cheng is actually really strong now, too (also he always was but meh). Again, Wei Ying uses his tricks to outwit and outmaneuver the situation at hand. Again, he’s struck by the impressive image of someone entering the scene like a badass.

And what a deliciously awful carousel of conflicting feelings. Pride? Despair? Longing? Love? Annoyance? Delight? Relief? Pain? Fear?

But as far as strength goes, clearly Jiang Cheng has it in buckets, now. Which means even if they still had a relationship, Jiang Cheng surely wouldn't even be the Jiang Cheng in it anymore. What a horrible realisation.

It can’t be helped much by the fact that Wei Ying almost lets himself get run through and Lan Zhan enters the scene to fucking save him. Even if it’s from the kid we know he just bested.

And that’s the back and forth we see at first. Wei Ying proving his strength and his character but the framing and his reactions proving that he’s still caught in the idea that Lan Zhan is stronger and better than him.

Lan Zhan is beloved. Lan Zhan is strong. Lan Zhan would never accidentally murder people he loved more than life itself. (OKay I won’t get into that but tell me he didn’t think that at any point I dare you)

He accepts it and plays it off as not a big deal, but it clearly is. In his rare serious moments, we see that.

So post-timeskip, Wei Ying has to figure out who he is and then how he can be said person. A significant part of the character and relationship development post-timeskip is about that.

He once again finds himself exploring uncharted territory of building relationship dynamics he’s never experienced with Lan Zhan. It started because he realised they were equals. It can’t develop further until he acknowledges that they still are.

He figures out how to be weak with Lan Zhan first, that it's safe and allowed and okay. There’s nothing wrong with being taken care of. It doesn’t have to define him and it doesn’t have to be about agency or about all the twisty psychological junk that was all wrapped up in his familial relationships at all.

Then he figures out that he still has the capacity to take care of someone like Lan Zhan back, that he’s still able to be needed, and not just someone to follow around and protect.

Wei Ying has strengths, strengths that were always there and always part of him as well as new ways he's grown and changed. He’s an inventor, he’s a genius, he’s a prodigy, he has his talismans and his music and his people skills and his teaching ability and his empathy and his heart.

All this definitely comes to a head on the steps of Jinlintai, by which point it feels like one of the only remaining imbalances that Wei Ying feels so keenly is their status, which of course Lan Zhan snuffs out utterly romantically.

It’s even more poignant that that moment comes right after Wei Ying gets Suibian back. And he's not nearly as good with it--Lan Zhan has to protect him multiple times in that fight and then of course he gets stabbed. But the point is still made, that he was still able to fight, and even his failures with the sword just drive home that this isn't who he is now. And that's okay.

By the time they're at the Burial Mounds again, Wei Ying has accepted the way they work as a team and that they can be complementary. And they fight flawlessly.

I love that growth for him.

He absolutely ends up being the Jiang Cheng, in a number of ways. He runs after Lan Zhan when he’s drunk to keep him out of trouble. He ends up left behind to take care of defenseless people while Lan Zhan runs off and has an epic sword fight in an evil fog bank.

He has to be taken from Lotus Pier, unconscious, in a boat, and is held so preciously in Lan Zhan’s arms.

But. Turns out it’s not so bad when the person you’re being Jiang Cheng for isn’t Wei Ying.

I swear this is not throwing shade at Wei Ying.

But he figures out, slowly, how to actually have a relationship built on even ground, as equals, in spite of being unequal in all the ways he used to think mattered. And he only manages it with someone once he’s on the weaker side of it.

I just think that’s super interesting.

And I think it sets a precedent for Wei Ying to understand the flaws in his old dynamic with Jiang Cheng. Especially once there aren’t secrets between them.

Everything has to change, anyway. Everything has already changed, almost two decades ago, and it isn’t going back. It can’t ever go back. Everything they were to each other was bound up in Jiang Yanli’s presence, in promises long broken, in dreams long dead, in a future that has already proved to not be real. In the old Lotus Pier, a lot of it, since they never really moved on from that, either, even back then.

Jiang Cheng has grown up. He’s raised a kid. He’s raised and trained disciples. He’s been a sect leader for over a decade and a half. He’s been to other people what he never could be to Wei Ying.

He’s also proven that he still wants his brother to fix things, still expects him to be able to. Still wants to fight, still knows how to cry. Still acknowledges fragmented pieces of their lost dynamic. Probably more of the healthy ones than Wei Ying ever has, too.

Jiang Cheng still, even in the wake of learning about the golden core, even after everything he’s built and has become, acknowledges Wei Ying as a strong person. As someone as strong as he is, if not stronger in many ways. As having the capacity of an older brother.

But then, Jiang Cheng was always able to conceptualise a world where he and Wei Ying were equals, complementary if not evenly matched, just as much as Lan Zhan was.

It wasn’t a fantasy that Wei Ying indulged him in. It was a reality that Wei Ying himself didn’t know how to accept and kept at a distance, carefully juggling too many separate parts of a whole he couldn’t allow to come together until they all crashed down.

But he’s been on the other side of it now and maybe it’s enough. Maybe he can take what he’s learned in building/rebuilding his relationship with Lan Zhan and apply it to other people. Especially Jiang Cheng.

And maybe Jiang Cheng has been a sect leader and an uncle long enough to not let Wei Ying get away with shit.

[stiltonbasket]

hi! i dont know if you've done something similar for renouncement verse but lwj getting baby rearing tips from lqr would be really cute uwu

(brief author’s note: please please reblog, since that’s how we get prompts for future chapters!)

Two weeks after Wei Shuilan’s full-moon party, Lan Xichen orders Wei Ying to get some fresh air and take a trip down to town with the juniors. 

“I’m ordering it as your physician,” he scolds, as Lan Wangji kisses his husband’s forehead and slips a packed lunch into his qiankun bag, just in case Wei Ying doesn’t like any of the delicacies Caiyi has to offer; having A-Lan altered his sense of taste, among other things, and made him more partial to sweet and bitter flavors as well as spicy-sour ones. “You haven’t left the Cloud Recesses in months.”

“Xichen-ge,” Wei Ying says, rolling his eyes, “you try taking those stairs when you can barely fit through the door. Or fly in a straight line without overbalancing, for that matter.”

He has a point, Lan Wangji thinks. A-Lan is a very round baby, big enough for her age that some of the guests at the full-moon feast asked if they were holding the party late, and it had certainly showed on Wei Ying’s slender figure in the weeks before her arrival.

“Well, you ought to go now,” Lan Xichen urges. “It’s a wonderful day, and A-Lan’s asleep. Go stretch your legs, and then come back and rest as soon as you feel tired.”

So Wei Ying had gone, leaving the Cloud Recesses with a kiss for Lan Wangji before flying off on A-Yuan’s sword and vanishing into the cloudy mist hanging over the Caiyi River.

After that, Lan Wangji settles down in the jingshi to wait for his husband’s return, placing his baby daughter on the bed beside him and starting on the mountain of official correspondence he’s been neglecting since A-Lan was born. Most of them are congratulations and well-wishes for the baby, along with a select few (which Lan Wangji sets on fire the second he opens them) consoling the Chief Cultivator for the one child of his blood being a daughter, and assuring him that the next baby will surely be a boy. 

Upon further reflection, Lan Wangji points a finger at the ashes in the hearth and incinerates them a second time. The thought of his little daughter ever facing anything but the honor and worship due to an empress sets his teeth on edge, and it takes only a moment of thinking until he decides to put off answering the guilty clan’s request for a second representative in Lanling’s council for as long as he can.

But unfortunately for him, the sound of the snapping fire jolts poor A-Lan awake, and she gives a soft, confused little gurgle before lifting her head and looking around. Lan Wangji lifts her into his lap, humming Wangxian beside her tiny ears as she begins to whimper—but his efforts are in vain, because the baby bursts into tears and refuses to stop crying no matter what he does to calm her. 

“A-Lan,” he says, more than a little shocked—because he has never heard A-Lan cry like this, not since that first shrieking wail when she first found herself out in the world six weeks ago. But A-Lan keeps crying, even after he tries changing her smallclothes (needlessly, since her diaper was freshly changed when Wei Ying left the jingshi) and puts her in another blanket to keep her warm, and no amount of rocking or singing or even a cool bath proves useful in the slightest. 

“What do you want, sweetheart?” Lan Wangji asks urgently. “A-Lan, baobei—”

Shuilan only draws her tiny legs up to her chest and sobs, rubbing her fat fists into her eyes as if the whole universe was against her, and the realization hits Lan Wangji so suddenly that he nearly falls to the floor, baby and all. 

“It’s because Wei Ying isn’t here,” he says wretchedly. “It is, isn’t it? You’re not sick, surely—he’s coming back, A-Bao. Don’t cry, your A-Die is coming back.”

But with such a little baby as A-Lan, how was she to know? All A-Lan knew was that she spent the first ten moons of her life safe inside Wei Ying, listening to his precious heartbeat and kicking out at his affectionate touches when he tried to feel for her head or her hands, and then she was in his arms instead, but still never so far away from him that she could not hear his voice. And now Wei Ying is gone, and A-Lan has rightfully taken his absence for the calamity that it is. 

Lan Wangji remembers his sixteen years of mourning after Wei Ying fell from his grasp and plunged to his death in Qishan, and wonders how frightened Shuilan must be that Wei Ying has disappeared without any explanation her infant mind can understand. Neither of them have left her side since she was born, so for one of her parents to disappear without explanation, and for it to be Wei Ying who had disappeared—

He nearly bursts into tears himself, just thinking about it. 

Naturally, it is at that moment—with half of Lan Wangji’s layers sliding off his shoulders, A-Lan screaming herself hoarse, and sweat dripping down her father’s pale face—that Lan Qiren lets himself into the house, apparently expecting to find a peaceful nephew and great-niece before he walks into the middle of a virtual tornado instead. 

“Wangji?” he calls, as Lan Wangji drags himself into the front room in all his miserable, disheveled glory. “What is the matter? Have you fed her?”

“I have fed her, changed her, checked her temperature, and made sure all her clothes were loose enough,” he says, distraught. “Perhaps I will take her to the healing ward, just to make sure she is well. Good afternoon, Shufu.”

“You examined her with your lingli, didn’t you? She’s not sick.”

“No, but—”

“Give her here,” his uncle sighs, holding out his arms for the child. “Now,  bring me that square blanket on the divan, and watch closely.”

While Lan Wangji watches, Lan Qiren lays the blanket out on the bed and folds it into a triangle, and then he places A-Lan onto it with her fluffy round head above the folded edge and packs her into a tight bundle with one arm waving freely outside it. 

“Shufu,” Lan Wangji ventures, brow furrowed. “What are you—”

“Quiet,” Lan Qiren instructs him. “Pay attention, Wangji.”

He folds up the bottom corner of the blanket, laying it over A-Lan’s chest and her chubby bent legs, and then he folds the other half around her like a bamboo string around a zongzi, trapping her flailing fist against her body before handing her back to her father. 

“There,” he says, satisfied. “See?”

A-Lan’s sobs are already calming down, and a moment later she blinks in confusion and goes straight back to sleep. 

Lan Wangji gapes at her. “What did you do, Uncle?” he wonders. “I already tried wrapping her, but this…”

“That is how a baby should be swaddled,” Lan Qiren scolds. “You and Wei Ying wrap her like a pancake roll, and it does well enough most of the time. But when a child this small is in distress, it can be helpful to remind them of their time in the womb, and put them in a similar position with a swaddling blanket. What made A-Lan cry so?”

“She missed Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji says dully. “He went to Caiyi with Sizhui and Xiaohui, and she woke early from her nap and cried when she realized he was gone.”

I remember weeping because Wei Ying was gone, he doesn’t say. She seemed as heartbroken as I was, back then. 

“Ah,” his uncle murmurs. “A word of advice, Wangji. When you are overtaxed, and dealing with a child in distress, your discomfort will inevitably worsen theirs. I learned this by trial with your brother, and it ended with him stopping his tears and laughing for me because he hated to see me cry.”

It sounds so much like Lan Xichen that Lan Wangji feels his throat swell. “En?”

“In such times, seek help before you become overwrought,” Lan Qiren advises him. “I am here, as is Xichen, and the nursery teachers who cared for you both when you were little. You and your husband are not alone, in any aspect of your lives, and it would be a joy to all of us to aid you.”

And then Lan Qiren makes tea and shoos Lan Wangji back to the bedroom, where he sinks down onto the bed with the baby snoring quietly in his arms and falls asleep himself.

When Wei Ying returns an hour later, he declares that everything must have gone perfectly for both of them to be so at ease.

“I didn’t want to leave you!” he laughs, cuddling a squealing A-Lan to his breast and waving a handful of new toys over her curious little face. “But you were as cool as a cucumber, Lan Zhan! Why can’t I be like you?”

“It was not so smooth as I hoped it would be,” Lan Wangji confesses. “But everything was all right in the end, xingan. My shufu is a very good teacher.”

[robininthelabyrinth]

sequel to Light on the Door (aka WWX adopted into the Nie sect)

1

“This is a terrible idea,” Wei Ying announced. “Absolutely awful. Doomed to end in disaster.”

“It really isn’t, Wei-xiong,” Nie Huaisang said, and – ouch.

If Nie Huaisang, self-professed total useless person, thought it was a good idea, that meant it was so absolutely necessary, so absolutely critical, that it couldn’t be done without. Wei Ying might only have known Nie Huaisang for a month or so, but he’d already figured out that Nie Huaisang didn’t like to do anything if he could help it.

“But I hate dogs,” he whined. “They’re scary. Why do I have to get used to them? I can just get da-ge to scare them away.”

“Da-ge is pretty scary,” Nie Huaisang allowed. “Definitely scarier than dogs. But what happens if he’s not around?”

Wei Ying shivered at the thought, his heart growing cold. “Da-ge has to be around,” he said, voice a little shrill. “He can’t – he’s not allowed to disappear the way my parents did –”

“Don’t worry!” Nie Huaisang said quickly. “He’s not allowed to!”

Wei Ying was distracted from his imminent panic attack by the sheer ridiculousness of the phrase. “What do you mean, not allowed to?”

“Well, I mean, it’s not like he’s a rogue cultivator, right? He’s sect leader. He has to stick around.” Nie Huaisang frowned. “I mean, unless he dies.”

“…he can’t die.”

“Why not? My dad did. He was murdered; that’s why da-ge had to take over. He could die any minute…”

By the time Nie Mingjue found them, they were both clinging to each other and sobbing.

“We haven’t even brought out the dogs yet,” he said, clearly baffled. “And – Huaisang, why are you crying? You like dogs!”

2

“Stop using your practice saber to poke at the puppy, Wei Ying,” Nie Mingjue said with a sigh.

“Give me one good reason,” Wei Ying said with a growl that might have been fierce if it was coming from anything other than a nine-year-old boy who was still working on regaining all the fat he’d lost to years of starvation.

At least he was holding his saber in the correct defensive position, which was more than Nie Huaisang had managed in – better not to think about it.

Still, it showed real talent, especially from a boy that’d probably been learning the sword before.

“It’ll create bad habits,” Nie Mingjue said, as patiently as he could. “You can’t point your real saber at anything you happen to dislike – once you draw steel, you need to be prepared for bloodshed. Are you willing to cut off the puppy’s head?”

Wei Ying faltered. For all that he hated dogs, Wei Ying was no murderer, and the little fluffball Nie Mingjue had brought home had lived up to its billing of being ridiculously friendly – even now, it was wagging its tail and trying to dodge the saber so that it could lick Wei Ying in greeting.

“Well?” Nie Mingjue said, crossing his arms. “I don’t pursue futile aims, Wei Ying. If you really don’t think you can adapt to the puppy, I’ll execute him now –”

“You can’t execute Xiao Bai! Huaisang-xiong would be beside himself!”

“He’d get over it.” Nie Mingjue paused. “…also, you named the dog little white? It’s black and brown. The only white it has is on its belly.”

“It’s supposed to be ironic,” Wei Ying said virtuously in the tone of someone who’d recently learned a new word. “Also, Huaisang-xiong said that this type of dog was supposed to be from a snowy mountain and I said it couldn’t be because it wouldn’t blend in with the snow and then he said –”

“Wei Ying. Does the puppy live?”

“Oh, fine,” Wei Ying said, and put his saber aside, allowing the dog to come prancing around him. Wei Ying’s face twitched with fear, his shoulders shaking, but the exposure was already doing wonders: he hadn’t run away screaming, and he was even allowing Xiao Bai to sniff his butt without complaint. “Hey, da-ge. Why do you always call it a puppy? He’s already the size of a full grown dog.”

Nie Mingjue looked down at the dog, whose head came up to Wei Ying’s hip. “Maybe for a lapdog. He’s a sheepdog from the mountains – they grow large.”

Wei Ying frowned. “As large as a husky? Those are huge.”

Nie Mingjue decided, for once, to err on the side of discretion and to just not say anything more.

3

“Meat, meat, meat,” Wei Ying sang. “All the meat, just for me –”

“Just you?” Nie Huaisang said. “That seems mean. How could you do that to Xiao Bai?”

“Xiao Bai can get his own meat,” Wei Ying said. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing! If I feed him meat, he’ll like me, and then he’ll never leave me alone!”

Nie Huaisang raised his eyebrows. “He already never leaves you alone if he can help it.”

Wei Ying scowled at him, as if that were supposed to be a secret.

“He whimpers every time you go inside without letting him in,” Nie Huaisang said, and sure enough, there was the guilty expression. “It’s so sad. Whine, whine, whine. Then he just lays across the entryway, his head heavy on his paws, a forlorn expression on his face –”

“As if you can tell what expression he has,” Wei Ying said scornfully. “Anyway, I don’t care!”

He still fed him some of his meat later on.

Nie Huaisang smirked behind his fan and pretended not to notice.

“Qinghe barbeque is the best,” Wei Ying said, even as he reached over to upend an entire bowl of chili sauce on top of his grilled meat. “There’s just so much of it.”

“You’ll like Yunmeng food,” Nie Huaisang said, waving over the innkeeper and gesturing for him to refill the sauce – he wanted some, too. Not as much as Wei Ying, but still… “It’s notoriously spicy, and your father’s from Yunmeng, anyway; I’m sure you inherited this from him. Qishan’s food is pretty hot, too.”

The pleased expression dropped off Wei Ying’s face at the mention of Qishan. “I don’t like them. Or their sect leader.”

Nie Huaisang shrugged. “The Wen sect is pretty awful, no one in Qinghe’ll disagree with you on that.” He frowned. “When did you see Sect Leader Wen, anyway?”

“Before I came to Qinghe,” Wei Ying said. “I was hiding in da-ge’s room any time he was out at the Discussion Conference, since I was terrified he was going to forget to bring me, and one time he was talking with Sect Leader Wen right outside his door. Da-ge didn’t – he hates him, but he’s also afraid of him.”

Wei Ying looked disturbed, and Nie Huaisang was pretty sure he knew why. “He killed our father,” he said, since he wasn’t sure anyone’d actually told Wei Ying about it yet. It wasn’t a forbidden subject, but no one liked to talk about it. “Everyone knows, but no one is willing to do anything about it. That’s why da-ge’s like that around him.”

Nie Huaisang was expecting many things, but Wei Ying’s reaction - relief - surprised him.

“What did you think was the reason?” he asked, because he might be useless but he’s not stupid.

“Sect Leader Wen reminds me of some of the men back in the city I was staying in,” Wei Ying said. “The ones that wanted to spend money, you know what I mean, and he was always looking at da-ge.”

Nie Huaisang blinked. “I have no idea what you mean,” he admitted frankly, and for some reason that made Wei Ying laugh.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, and generously only took half of the new bowl of chili sauce, sliding the rest of it over to Nie Huaisang. “Eat your meat.”

Xiao Bai barked.

“Great,” Nie Huaisang said. “Now you’ve taught him the word for ‘meat’. There’s no way that’s going to backfire on you.”

4

“- and this is my puppy, Xiao Bai,” Wei Ying said, twirling his hands with a flourish. “I hate dogs, but I’ve had to take care of Xiao Bai long enough that I think I’m over it when it comes to him. I mean, I still hate all the others, but Xiao Bai’s okay, I guess.”

His guest blinked at the dog, which was wagging its tail cheerfully. He seemed to be thinking of something, hands clasped behind his back and a serious expression on his face – Wei Ying had already figured out that he was the sort of person to think things over thoroughly before saying anything, and he was excitedly waiting to hear his thoughts.

“You’re not afraid of bears,” was what finally was said.

“Yeah, Xiao Bai is getting pretty big, isn’t he?” Wei Ying laughed, scratching the back of his head. “He really is more bear than dog.”

Xiao Bai could probably step on the dogs that he used to fight, Wei Ying thought, viciously pleased. There was something to be said for Nie Mingjue’s theory of fear, which could be summarized as you won’t be as scared if you find something even scarier to be on your side.

“If you want, you can pet him,” Wei Ying said encouragingly.

The guest – Wei Ying’s guest, in fact, the one that Nie Mingjue said he was responsible for taking care of, because apparently last time he’d come over Nie Huaisang had driven him to distraction and Nie MIngjue just wanted to spend some quiet time with his friend – looked a bit uncertain, but with a bit more urging eventually crouched down, rearranging his robes to minimize the amount of dirt.

He still held back, though, and looked almost wary.

“He really is very nice,” Wei Ying said. “Even for a big old scary dog. Nearly as nice as me!”

His guest gave him an unimpressed look.

Wei Ying put his hands together. “Give it a try,” he urged. “For me?”

His guest sighed, as if he was being so put-upon and just doing it to indulge Wei Ying’s ridiculousness, and put his hands in the middle of Xiao Bai’s furry belly.

After a moment, he smiled.

“Wow,” Wei Ying said, and meant it. “You’re really pretty when you smile, Lan Zhan. You should do it more often!”

5

“I can’t believe you named your saber Suibian,” Nie Huaisang cackled. “Da-ge’s going to give you the worst courtesy name he can think of just to pay you back for that.”

“He thought it was funny!”

“He thinks lots of terrible things are funny, he has the Nie sense of humor,” Nie Huaisang argued. “We all have it – even you, and you’re only an honorary Nie.”

“I have it in spades,” Wei Ying boasted, and rubbed his hand over Xiao Bai’s head: a trophy of his fears, confronted and finally overcome. Just like a proper Nie should. “No one’s ever going to doubt that I belong here.”

“Not after that prank you pulled during midwinter, no.”

Wei Ying laughed. “All I need is the courtesy name,” he said confidently. “I have a saber, I wear the colors, I even do my hair in the proper braids – now I just need to not to ever tell anyone my given name, and I’ll be a proper Nie.”

“That only applies to people born in the Nie clan main branch,” Nie Huaisang said, rolling his eyes. “Regular disciples don’t have to worry about that old superstition.”

“Maybe I want to worry about it.”

“Da-ge’s already told you that he plans to make you a direct disciple when the mourning period ends,” Nie Huaisang said, rolling his eyes. “A direct disciple. We’ll be like brothers, then.”

“And no one will ever call me by my given name.”

“No one? Not even Lan-er-gongzi?”

“…Lan Zhan’s an exception.”

Nie Huaisang snickered.

“Don’t worry,” he said, gently elbowing Wei Ying in the side. “You’ve lived in Qinghe for over a year. Who else could possibly have a better claim to you than us?”

Xiao Bai started barking, then, a warning cry, and both Nie Huaisang and Wei Ying looked down at him in confusion. They were in the middle of Qinghe – what type of danger could they be facing here?

“Boy,” an adult man’s voice interrupted their discussion, his tone urgent. A man in purple stopped in front of them – a visitor from the Jiang sect, Wei Ying thought, his mind immediately recalling some of Nie Huaisang’s lessons in etiquette; he was probably here for the yearly Discussion Conference. “Boy – are you Wei Ying? Son of Wei Changze and Cangse Sanren?”

Wei Ying blinked, surprised. “Yes,” he said. “Did you – did you know them?” That was the only thing he lacked, really, here in Qinghe: his parents had never come this far, and people could only tell him what they’d heard about them, their reputation and the rumors, and it wasn’t quite as much as he’d like.

The man in purple smiled.

“I knew them very well,” he said. “In fact, I’ve been looking for you for a long time now.”

“Looking for me? Why?”

“To bring you home,” the man said. “Why else?”

Xiao Bai howled mournfully.

[biwenqing]

I know jc got dunked numerous times, but does lwj ever get dunked? and if so, who's brave enough to do it?

THESE QUESTIONS just *chef kiss* so so good! Sorry for the delay with this, it ended up over twice as long as I expected (almost 3k). I had a ton of fun with it, I hope you enjoy it! Very much a “let Lan Wangji have friends agenda”. (link to series on ao3)

The alternate title: Four People Who Can, Would, and Have Dunked Lan Wangji

| 1. Wei Wuxian |

“Would you spar with me?” Lan Wangji found that the word burst forth. He had wanted to ask them for a while and just hadn’t found the right time.

Wei Ying tensed from where he sat, fiddling with some brilliant talisman design or other. An unhappy frown pinched his face, which was very much not the expression Lan Wangji wanted. Wei Wing sighed and said in a tired tone, “I won’t use my sword.”

Ah, that was the issue. Lan Wangji quickly clarified, “I was thinking I had not practiced hand to hand combat in too long.”

Wei Ying’s expression changed instantly, a knowing smile and reflection of the heat that curled in Lan Wangji’s gut. He set aside what he was working on and came to stand at Lan Wangji’s side, leaning forward into his space. “My husband has such good ideas, I know just the place!”

Wei Ying led him a ways away from Lotus Pier, around a bend in the river where there was a shore of soft sand. It was an ideal and private training ground and Lan Wangji was planning on telling Wei Ying this, but when he looked over, words failed him. Wei Ying was taking off his outer robes and layers until he was just in his underclothes.

He grinned when he caught Lan Wangji staring. “Lan Zhan, you can’t tell me we’re going to do this fully clothed.”

Lan Wangji swallowed and nodded, moving to do the same. He carefully folded his own and set them on the rock next to Wei Ying’s, pausing a moment to straighten out and fold his husband’s clothes as well, so they wouldn’t sit in a ball.

He turned to find Wei Ying watching him intently.

“Do not grow distracted,” Lan Wangji scolded in a tone probably only Wei Ying knew was teasing, fully aware of the hypocrisy in his words as he approached Wei Ying.

“And here I was thinking distraction is really what this is all about.” Wei Ying settled into a strong form, arms up, and grin wide. “My apologies, husband. I’ll focus.”

They both made what Lan Wangji later decided was a valiant effort to focus on sparring correctly. The familiar zing that had existed since their first swordfight tugged at them and Lan Wangji reveled in it. He wanted to be better than Wei Ying. He wanted to be closer to Wei Ying.

He wanted.

Any focus broke when Wei Ying used some of Lan Wangji’s distraction to pin him to the ground. They breathed together and Lan Wangji took a moment to study his husband’s face - his beautiful dark eyes, the little freckle near his bottom lip. The familiar weight of him, now heavier, healthier under the watchful eye of those who cared for him.

“Lan Zhan.” Wei Ying’s voice was almost a whisper. “Focus.”

He must have visibly frowned, because Wei Ying started to laugh, shaking them both. Lan Wangji wanted to taste the sound and moved to flip them.

The change only made Wei Ying laugh harder. “Is that how this is going to be?” Wei Ying worked to flip them back so he was laying on Lan Wangji again. They managed to do this a few more times, becoming more tangled with each one until Lan Wangji decided he preferred to feel Wei Ying’s weight on him.

Lan Wangji ran his hands up and down Wei Ying’s side before huffing in annoyance.

“What is it?” Wei Ying asked, their faces so close together now.

“Sandy,” Lan Wangji managed, trying to brush some of the roughness from Wei Ying’s clothes and his own hands.

“Hmm, a good point,” Wei Ying pulled back a bit and it was all Lan Wangji could do to stop himself from tugging his husband back close. “Shall we relocate our... sparring?”

“Mn,” Lan Wangji thought that was a very good idea. His husband was very wise.

Wei Ying stood up, pulling Lan Wangji with him. But instead of going to gather their clothes and head back home, Wei Ying tugged him towards the water.

“No,” Lan Wangji said, panting his feet. His husband was very stupid.

“No, no, I know, but we need to get at least some of the sand off,” Wei Ying assured. “Then we can go home and have a bath.”

He took it all back, of course, his husband was a genius. “Alright,” he agreed and Lan Wangji let himself be led into the cool water.

Wei Ying splashed him. The grin hadn’t left his face and Lan Wangji could distract himself from other emotions by feeling content with this fact. It also meant Lan Wangji spotted when it turned mischievous as Wei Ying said, “Lan Zhan, do you think you could catch me?”

“Yes, always.” That should be obvious.

“Aw, Lan Zhan!” Wei Ying protested, covering his face briefly. “You say such kind things. Now I almost feel bad for doing this.”

“Doing what?” Lan Wangji’s tipped his head to one side.

Wei Ying didn’t answer, just backed up a bit before taking a running jump towards him.

Lan Wangji did indeed catch him, but they both tumbled backward into the water with a splash and Wei Ying’s bright laughter. When they surfaced, Wei Ying apologized by peppering Lan Wangji’s face with kisses, so Lan Wangji decided not to take revenge.

This time.

| 2. Wen Qing |

Wen Qing cornered on him at the edge of a pier, eyes stormy. Lan Wangji glanced to see if she had her needles out only to find, just as alarmingly, she was gripping her sword. She was dressed mostly in purples to help her blend in with the Jiang sect, looking just as intimidating as in her Wen red.

Lan Wangji normally got along very well with her and had thought they were friends. This behavior was odd. He wanted to back up some more to get some space from her but worried he might slip right into the water. “How may I help you?” He tried asking instead.

“We need to have a talk,” Wen Qing said, back straight and looking him dead in the eye.

Lan Wangji didn’t like this eye contact. It added a feeling as if she was looking down at him despite his greater height. “Alright. We are talking.”

She pointed her sword hilt at him. “Don’t get smart with me. This is serious.”

“I am becoming aware of this.” Lan Wangji tried to keep his own grip on Bichen relaxed as he could.

“You better not hurt Wei Wuxian,” Wen Qing said, still staring him down when he focused back on her face.

Lan Wangji had a flashback to his first week on Lotus Pier. Jiang Wanyin had done something very similar to this - an obvious threat of harm if anything happened to Wei Ying. Jiang Wanyin had not liked when Lan Wangji had pointed out that it was, in fact, he who had arranged Lan Wangji’s marriage to Wei Ying.

Lan Wangji focused on the matter at hand. “I will not, would never, do something to hurt Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said and it was a promise. He had made it before and he would make it again. “Wei Ying is my equal and my partner.”

Wen Qing nodded and began to look a little less intimidating. “I trust that you will. But I wanted you to know what will happen if you don’t.”

“I am well aware,” Lan Wangji said, and even gave a little smile. “Wei Ying is very loved.” As he should be.

“Good, but don’t get cocky,” she said and then moved quickly.

Lan Wangji had lowered his guard enough that he couldn’t dodge her in time. He had enough forethought to toss Bichen on the pier before he splashed back first into the water. When he surfaced he found Wen Qing was already walking away, apparently deciding Lan Wangji had fully gotten the message.

This was certainly a different outcome to his conversation with Jiang Wanyin.

| 3. Jiang Yanli |

Besides his husband and a-Yuan, Jiang Yanli was the person Lan Wangji spent the most time with. He had found a close friend in his sister-in-law, and appreciated the times when she translated some of the behavior of her brothers.

She, along with Granny Wen, had both begun to teach Lan Wangji how to cook. It was an activity Lan Wangji found relaxing and enjoyable. Lan Wangji found that what he could do and who he could be was something he had more control over as a (married in) member of the Jiang sect than the second young master of the Gusu Lan. This was a thrilling and terrifying fact.

Jiang Yanli was one of the few people who had asked Lan Wangji, “What do you want?”

He wished to repay her kindness and tried to at every turn. During one of the afternoons they spent in quiet, shared company, Lan Wangji noticed she seemed unhappy and unable to sit still. He put away his guqin and moved across the room to her side.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” he asked, offering his hand to help her up. Jiang Yanli gave a small smile, that Lan Wangji knew her well enough to tell was false. It was a falsehood she didn’t want pushed on though - sometimes she reminded Lan Wangji of Xichen. He was pulled from any feeling of homesickness by Jiang Yanli’s small hand briefly on his own.

“A walk sounds lovely,” Jiang Yanli murmured. “I need to clear out my thoughts.”

Together they moved from her rooms. Wei Ying was somewhere checking on vegetable growth and checking up on the Wen refugees. Sometimes Lan Wangji would go with him, other days, like today, he would go off with one or both of the Wen siblings. That was when he visited Wen refugees (no doubt cultivators) that he didn’t want Lan Wangji to have to lie to his brother about.

“Summer is going to come to a close before we know it,” Jiang Yanli commented. “I think you will like the lotus harvest.”

“Mn,” Lan Wangji said, glancing over at her. She seemed to relax as they walked. “Do you want to talk?”

Jiang Yanli sighed, though she didn’t seem upset by his question. “It’s complicated.”

Lan Wangji assumed as much. He also was pretty sure this was a matter Jiang Yanli would not wish to talk about with either of her brothers. “Is it about the letter you received from Lanling?”

Jiang Yanli almost winced. “You noticed it?”

“I did not mean to pry,” Lan Wangji assured. “But the paper and seal are similar to what my brother used to receive.”

“Ah,” was all she said for a long time.

They continued to walk, moving from the pier and past the training grounds. There were paths throughout the nearby forest, intended for training and hunting but worked well to get some space.

“I don’t think Jin Zixuan had anything to do with the cruelty against the Wen civilians.” The words were frustrated, not in Jiang Yanli’s usually calm and thoughtful manner.

Lan Wangji could sympathize with the frustration of knowing the one you loved wasn’t being understood. “I do not believe he did either.”

Jiang Yanli grabbed his arm, looking up at him with wide eyes. She quickly let go but stayed close, halting their progress. “You don’t?”

Lan Wangji nodded, not sure what else to do to assure her. “When I was younger, often at cultivation conferences we would... both stay out of the way. I got to know him a little bit. I did not engage in many conversations, but from what I have observed, I have seen no cruelty from Jin Zixuan.” Pride and disdain, yes, but Lan Wangji had experienced the same faults.

“That’s a relief to hear,” Jiang Yanli smiled again, small but real this time. She turned back to continue walking and Lan Wangji matched her pace. “I trust your judgment.”

“I am flattered.”

“You saw a-Xian for who he is,” Jiang Yanli said. “That certainly says something to me.”

They walked for some steps more in silence. “What do you want to do?” Lan Wangji asked.

Jiang Yanli focused on the ground ahead of her. “I don’t know...”

“Do you care for Jin Zixuan?”

“Yes, but I care more for my family and the work we are doing here,” Jiang Yanli sighed again. “It doesn't seem like these two things line up.”

“You could let Jin Zixuan know that there is a space for him here,” Lan Wangji suggested. “Give him the choice.” Not making his offer for Wei Ying to come back to Gusu sound like a choice seemed to be what backfired on him. Lan Wangji could pass along what he had learned.

Jiang Yanli nodded. “That’s a good idea...”

“I am sure there would be a place for him,” Lan Wangji encouraged. “...I could talk to Wei Ying if Jin Zixuan accepts.”

Jiang Yanli laughed at that, as they turned to walk back towards home. “Yes, maybe if you broke the news to him, he’d behave.”

“He just wants you to be happy,” Lan Wangji said, though he didn’t really need to defend Wei Ying to her. “It is a sentiment shared.”

“Thank you,” Jiang Yanli said. “I’m glad to have you as a brother-in-law.”

Lan Wangji wasn’t sure what to say to that. But it warmed him to have Jiang Yanli as a friend. As a part of his family.

They spent the rest of the walk back in companionable silence until they reached where ground turned back to pier. Jiang Yanli paused then and turned to him with a smile. “You’ve become something of another brother to me,” she said.

Lan Wangji inclined his head. “I am honored.”

“Now there is something of a right of passage to being my brother, I hope you don’t mind terribly. Just a matter of formality.” Her smile had some mischief to it. “See as the eldest, I get to push you into the river.”

Lan Wangji couldn’t come up with a response fast enough to that before he was indeed pushed into the water.

| 4. Luo Qingyang |

Lotus Pier had been rebuilt larger, to accommodate the number of people who had come to call it home. Lan Wangji and Wei Ying shared rooms to one side, and nearby Granny Wen had been settled with her son, who just insisted everyone call him Uncle. A-Yuan now had a bedroom in each and seemed happy to call the entirety of the Pier home.

On the opposite side, Jiang Yanli had her rooms, with an open and airy living space that had become a communal gathering area. Near her but more towards the back were the Wen siblings.

Lan Wangji might never fully understand the man, but he had to acknowledge that Jiang Wanyin took good care of his siblings and those his siblings deemed important. Lan Wangji was sure the sect leader was trying to figure out where to put the newest addition.

Luo Qingyang had shown up ten days ago and seemed to be in no hurry to leave. She had been traveling on her own, assisting in small night hunts, since she had left the Jins. But she wanted to take a break and had “heard that Yunmeng was the place to be.”

Lan Wangji couldn’t say how true that was, but it had certainly endeared her to Jiang Wanyin. In fact, Luo Qingyang, or “Mianmian” as Wei Ying insisted on calling her, made fast friends with everyone on Lotus Pier from Granny Wen, to the new Jiang disciples, to a-Yuan.

Lan Wangji certainly found her pleasant company and someone it was easy for him to talk with.

They were walking back from the training field when she asked, “I watched Jiang Cheng toss your husband in the water this morning,”

“Mn.” Lan Wangji had been showing a-Yuan how he played the guqin, so he hadn’t witnessed this particular event. “It is usually a form of affection.”

“That’s how they show affection? By pushing people in the water?” Luo Qingyang sounded confused but intrigued. Lan Wangji could understand this feeling.

“Yes. Though it can also be a form of punishment,” Lan Wangji explained. “It can be hard to tell which it is being used as.”

She laughed. “Of course, of course. This is making me wish the rules were written down like in your sect.”

Lan Wangji understood that feeling at an almost painful level. “All rules are unwritten and flexible. Except for the one against insulting someone’s soup.” This was mostly a joke.

Luo Qingyang shook her head, chuckling some more. “Noted. So shoving someone into the water could be seen as a declaration of friendship?”

“Yes, I suppose-” That was all the warning he got before he found himself falling with a splash.

He surfaced to find Luo Qingyang laughing, nearly doubled over. It wasn’t a mean laugh... it was actually nice. She thought him a friend, not someone intimidating or cold. She peeked over at him and said, “Sorry, sorry. Here, let me help you up.”

Lan Wangji gripped her offered hand and raised his brows. Luo Qingyang realized her mistake a moment too late and let out a yelping laugh as Lan Wangji tugged her into the water as well.

[svttu]

Adventures in babysitting: A Wangxian AU

Wei Wuxian is a single parent taking care of barely one year old a-yuan while he is in his second year of university getting his bachelors in chemistry. He decided to take some online classes so he could spend more time and take care of a-yuan because he’s too broke to hire a babysitter. And if we’re being realistic he hates being away from a-yuan for too long. Cue lwj entering wwx’s life without knowing ww’s a parent.

They first meet at a a literature class that wwx is taking for fun (he likes reading, sue him). He arrives beyond late the second week of school and the only seat available is next to lwj, front row and center. Lwj subtly looks at him and thinks “mine.” Wwx is obviously oblivious to this because he had to leave a-yuan with his neighbor, Xiao Xingchen, and what if he ends up falling and hitting his head? What if he starts crying and can’t stop? So he decides fuck it and skips that specific class as often as possible. When he is there, he makes it his mission to befriend lwj. Lwj being one to keep track of all of his assignments starts to give notes to wwx every time he shows up.

Thinking that wwx is sick, Lwj decides to go to wwx apartment to give him his notes (he wasn’t aware of the agreement wwx and his teachers had) and some homemade lan food. When he knocks on the door the third time, Wwx opens it wearing black joggers, a stained red hoodie that’s very loose on him that it reaches his thighs, and a sleeping baby in his arms. Wwx looks like husband material right then and there.

“Hey Lan Zhan, what’re you doing here” wwx says as he rocks himself gently on the balls of his feet. Lwj at this point is panicking because this dude is hot, cute, and apparently good with children.

“I came to bring you my notes, you missed class.” Lwj really is trying to keep it together, but as soon as the little baby starts to wake up and wwx gently coos at him, his heart is no longer his.

“Oh, um, thank you. I told the teachers that I wouldn’t be able to make it to class the whole week because I had to take care of my son. Say hi a-yuan.” At this the little boy make grabby hands towards Lwj. Wwx embarrassed out of his mind starts to apologize only to be glared into silence while lwj carefully takes a-yuan from wwx arms. Don’t get him wrong he’s not embarrassed bcs of a-yuan, but rather the fact that if he were to see lwj holding his son he might just kidnap lwj. Maybe kiss him in the process, whose to say? Certainly not wwx.

The only thoughts running through Lwj’s head is *not only is he good looking, but he also has a son. Where is his mother? Why is Wei Ying the only one taking care of the baby? There’s no signs of a female living here so maybe he is single? This is your chance lwj, make it count* However, the only thing that comes out of his mouth is “can you not hire a babysitter?”

Wwx gestures to himself and the general state of his apartment (messy but not to the point where a/yuan could hurt himself) “Does it look like I have the money for that?”

“It is no matter, I will find one for you.”

“Lan Zhan, you can’t. I don’t need it.”

“A-yuan”

“What about my son?”

“Doing this. For a-yuan”

“I can take care of him just fine on my own. Have been since he was born.”

Cue to them having a misunderstanding for a few months before lwj explains his initial intentions and wwx is just so shocked? Bcs lwj like him. Any who they get married when a-yuan is five. He’s die-die’s and a-die’s flower boy.

[meltingheartsandcores]

A tale of Wangji misunderstanding his brother.

I had the idea of LWJ misunderstanding LXC’s insistence on discussing WWX as LXC being interested in WWX and viola! I hope you enjoy!

Wei Wuxian wasn’t expecting a letter from Lan Wangji, in fact, considering their latest interaction, it was the last thing he expected. But, here it was. In plain view. Waiting to be opened. It wasn’t any notice of expulsion, or else it would be from Teacher Lan. Maybe it was a warning? Gloating?

No. No. Lan Wangji wouldn’t gloat.

“Stop worrying and just open the stupid letter. You’re keeping me up!” Jiang Cheng protests. Wei Wuxian sticks his tongue out at him but opens the letter and reads.

And grows more confused.

“He, wants to meet me after curfew.” He also gave a place, well, he said to meet where they first fought and Wei Wuxian doesn’t feel like explaining it to Jiang Cheng or telling him. Ever.

He lost two good jars of wine that night.

“Good for you. Maybe he wants to bash your head in.” Jiang Cheng grumbles and rolls over, finally going to bed. Wei Wuxian would never actually sleep at nine, but he’ll suffer waking up at five. Mostly because he has no choice in the matter. Still, he’ll meet Lan Wangji for this weird meeting. Why it can’t just happen within Wei Wuxian or Lan Wangji’s room, he doesn’t know. Maybe he does want a rematch. But, would he break the rules for that?

An hour passes before Wei Wuxian sneaks out and heads to the rooftop he met Lan Wangji on that night. His curiosity was palpable but he stayed silent as he sat on the roof. Lan Wangji wouldn’t be late, right? It was impossible for Lans to be late, right? Their body clock was incredibly accurate. Maybe he fell asleep? Lan Wangji would’ve grown up going to bed at nine, maybe he couldn’t stay awake?

Wei Wuxian’s worrying was pointless as minutes after he starts, Lan Wangji jumps onto the roof and sits down beside him.

“Ah, Lan Zhan. What’d you want to talk about?” Wei Wuxian asks, but Lan Wangji doesn’t answer. Instead, he puts a silence barrier around the roof they were on. Ohhkay. This is weird. “What’s going on?”

“I think Xiongzhang has a crush on you.”

“...what?” Does Lan Wangji have another brother? Because he can’t be referring to Zewu-Jun. That’s just- no. Not possible. Maybe he misunderstood something? Lan Wangji doesn’t always seem to grasp social situations correctly. “Uh, why do you think that?”

“He talks of you a lot. And asks me about you, along with asking how I feel about you.”

“How you feel about me?” Lan Wangji feels something other than annoyance with Wei Wuxian?

“Not relevant.” Okay, rude. “Xiongzhang seems interested in you.”

“Ohkay?” People have had crushes on Wei Wuxian before. He mostly ignored them. And considering he rarely interacts with Zewu-Jun, that won’t be a problem. Except that it’s Zewu-Jun. Lan Wangji has almost certainly crossed some wires. “Are you sure it’s a romantic interest? Maybe he’s just invested in you having a friend?”

“We are not friends.”

“Ah, Lan Zhan, I painted you a portrait.” Wei Wuxian wasn’t entirely sure what he did with it once Wei Wuxian handed it over because there was an incident that distracted him. He hopes Lan Wangji didn’t shred it like that book. “And we’re gossiping on a rooftop about your brother. We’re friends.” Wait. Wei Wuxian grins, “Lan Zhan, isn’t there a rule about gossiping?”

“We are not in Cloud Recess.” Wei Wuxian huffs a laugh, his smile growing at Lan Wangji using his own reasoning from that first night.

“Fair enough. So, have you talked to your brother about his alleged crush on me?”

Lan Wangji shakes his head, “I don’t believe he realizes.”

“No offence, but I think Zewu-Jun is more attuned to emotions than you.” Wei Wuxian’s comment earns him a glare and he shrugs, “You’ve been mostly isolated with only other Lans for company, Zewu-Jun has to go to clan meetings and shit. He’s more socialized than you. You literally have rules about being too happy or too sad.” Wei Wuxian could, annoyingly, recite the 3500 rules by memory now and write them all by muscle memory now. And there were far too many rules dictating what emotions you were allowed to feel and how to express them.

Lan Wangji’s glare softens back into his default expression and nods. “He is blind to his own feelings. He had a crush on Chifeng-zun throughout childhood, it was annoying. And he has no recollection of it.”

Wei Wuxian has never met Chifeng-zun, but from what he’s heard, he’s pretty sure most cultivators of their generation have a crush on him. Wei Wuxian included. He’s ripped, he’s giant, and he’s hot. Wei Wuxian has no plans on proposing marriage, he has enough anger issues from Jiang Cheng and Madam Yu thank you very much, but he’s not oppose to anything less.

“Most people have crushes on Chifeng-zun. It’s not that surprising, him allegedly having a crush on me, however…” It was doubtful. “Lan Zhan, if you’re so sure he has a crush on me, why haven’t you talked to him about it?”

“It would be inappropriate.”

“But it’s not inappropriate to talk to me about it?”

Lan Wangji shakes his head, clearly, Wei Wuxian misunderstood. “He would deny it regardless. The feelings are inappropriate.”

Wei Wuxian’s first thought was the fact that the feelings are of a cutsleeve, but immediately dismisses that because they were just talking about Chifeng-zun. No, so, why… ohhhh. “Because I’m a junior disciple under GusuLan’s protection and he’s sect leader. If he were a worse person, he could use his influence to get what he wants. And if Uncle Jiang heard he might assume the worse.” Ugh. Stupid politics. Even if Uncle Jiang didn’t, someone would. They would see a Clan Leader taking advantage of a visiting junior disciple. Despite only being three years apart. Great.

Wei Wuxian hates politics.

“So, what’s your plan? Why tell me about it?” Because Wei Wuxian can’t see a reason.

“Do you return the feelings?”

Wei Wuxian shrugs, because he can’t answer definitively, “I don’t know him well enough. I don’t really interact with Sect Leaders. Physically, yes, I am attracted to him. And from what I’ve heard he sounds like someone I’d be attracted to but I don’t really know him.”

Lan Wangji nods, “So you will get to know him. If you do not return the feelings then there is nothing to be done. They will disappear on their own.” Wei Wuxian isn’t sure about that logic, but maybe it was true for Zewu-Jun? According to Madam Yu, it was not true for Uncle Jiang. “If you do return the feelings…” Lan Wangji trails off, clearly at a loss.

“Offer to keep in contact once I leave? Maybe visit? If I’m not a guest disciple, but just a guest, it wouldn’t carry the same negative weight.” Lan Wangji nods in agreement.

“You should return to your bed.” Wei Wuxian nods and hurries back to his room, thankfully, he was not caught breaking curfew.

He did, in fact, wake Huaisang and immediately tell him about what Lan Zhan said. Huaisang was too groggy to properly react.

Immediately anyways.

About half a schichen later he shoots awake and wakes Wei Wuxian back up to interrogate him on Zewu-Jun’s apparent crush.

_-Morning-_

Regrettably, Operation Get To Know Zewu-Jun is on hold as Zewu-Jun left that morning for Qinghe. However, that meant Wei Wuxian had ample time to drag Nie Huaisang and Lan Wangji away from people to make a plan. Since this was apparently happening.

“I still can’t believe Xichen-ge has a crush on you. No offense Wei-Xiong, but,” Huaisang looked doubtful.

“Lan Zhan said so. He knows Zewu-Jun best, right?” Wei Wuxian protests, turning to look at Lan Wangji at the same time as Nie Huaisang. Lan Wangji, looked determinedly uncomfortable.

“I do not understand what else he could be feeling. He talks about Wei Ying all the time, asks me about him, what else could that mean?” Ok, Lan Wangji sounded like he was actually confused. Well. He sounded vaguely unsure, barely a change in his tone, but, still. For Lan Wangji that’s complete confusion.

Nie Huaisang taps his fan to his chin, “That’s a good point. So what’s our plan?”

“Wei Ying will get to know Xiongzhang, if he does not return feelings we will cease.”

“And if he does?” Wei Wuxian blinks, realizing what he said and corrects, “I mean. If I do?”

Lan Wangji does not answer. Still clearly as unsure about that as last night.

Nie Huaisang, thankfully, has some ideas. “You wait until the classes are over, and you graduate, then you offer to keep in contact. Maybe do some night hunts or meet up. Go to dinner.” Nei Huaisang’s face scrunches up, “You’re going to have to get a taste for Gusu food.”

Wei Wuxian makes a similar face to Huaisang, “I can bring in chilli oil, right?” Wei Wuxian turns to look at Lan Wangji.

“Do not poison Xiongzhang with it.” Was Lan Wangji’s only response. Which was as good as agreement.

“Great. Now how do I get to know Zewu-Jun better?”

“Da Ge might know. I’ll send him a letter today, he’ll probably respond in three days. And we have at least a week before Xichen-ge comes back. So. We’ll have lots of time to practice.” Nie Huaisang informs, then asks, “But Wei-Xiong, why didn’t we bring Jiang-Xiong with us?”

Wei Wuxian makes a face, “Jiang Cheng might not respond well to my potential lovelife.”

“He makes many remarks about your lovelife.” Lan Wangji states.

“He jokes. Let’s just say it’s best if he finds out later. Will Da Ge really be that helpful though?” Nie Huaisang looked offended at the mere idea.

“Chifeng-zun became friends with Xiongzhang at a young age. His advice may be out of date.” Wei Wuxian was thankful for Lan Wangji’s support.

“But he’ll offer a different opinion!”

_—_In Qinghe_—_

Lan Xichen would appreciate it if Mingjue would stop laughing. It was not that funny! “What is so funny?” Lan Xichen didn’t think him bemoaning Wangji’s failure of a lovelife was funny!

Mingjue didn’t answer for another minute, too busy laughing. He takes a deep breath before he does, a smile still on his face, Lan Xichen couldn’t be angry with him. Mingjue wasn’t happy often anymore. Especially not to this extent. “You think Wangji is in love with Wei Wuxian.” Mingjue repeats, looking very close to falling back into laughter.

“Yes. Why is that funny?”

Mingjue chuckles a little before he says, “Because. Wangji thinks you’re in love with Wei Wuxian.”

What.

“What?”

How-

Why-

Mingjue bursts into laughter again. “Stop laughing! Why does Wangji think that?” Lan Xichen demands, very much at a loss.

Mingjue’s laughter titters off, “I don’t know. He told Wei Wuxian who told Huaisang who told me. I was not privy to the inner workings of your brothers mind Xichen.”

“That doesn’t make sense. I barely know Wei-Gongzi.”

“So does Wangji but that didn’t stop you from assuming.” Mingjue refutes.

“They had a fight under the moonlight and Wangji started calling him Wei Ying after a week.” Lan Xichen deadpans.

“...Fair enough.”

“Why did Huaisang write to you?” Lan Xichen asks, he can’t imagine Wangji thinking he has a crush on Wei Wuxian was that noteworthy.

“He wanted advice on getting to know you. Apparently their current plan is seeing if Wei Wuxian likes you back after actually knowing you. They have no plan further than that.”

That… sounded regrettably like his didi.

Lan Xichen sighs, then furrows his brow slightly when he notices Mingjue looking at him intently, clearly thinking. Mingjue, was not a tactful person, he would say what’s on his mind eventually. He’s sure Mingjue has something meaningful to say. Maybe about their brothers. Maybe a solution to their new problem of his brother, Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang believing Lan Xichen has a crush on Wei Wuxian. Since Wangji will take any denial on Lan Xichen’s part as polite denial based on Wei Wuxian’s current status as a guest disciple of GusuLan. So. Lan Xichen waits.

“Is there a chance you have a crush on Wei Wuxian?”

He shouldn’t have waited.

[kurowrites]

Five Times Lan Zhan (Kind Of) Proposed to Wei Ying

There is a lot of bad language in this one, so be warned. Also contemplated murder, but like in a funny way.

Find the earlier posts here.

---

IV: The Fourth Time

Wei Ying was going to kill Jin Zixun. It would be terrible because he was going to get arrested and locked up, and then Jiang Yanli was going to cry, but he didn’t care about that right now. He was going to kill Jin Zixun. Maybe throw him out of the window and try to pass it as an accident.

“You fucking asshole!” he shouted as he burst into the room where Jin Zixun was currently drinking with some friends.

Jin Zixun looked up, and Wei Ying could see that he was trying to look as nonchalant as possible, though he didn’t quite manage to do it. Wei Ying knew that Jin Zixun was afraid of him, because he thought that Wei Ying was crazy. And he better be. Because Wei Ying was crazy, and he was angry, and Jin Zixun deserved no mercy.

“What do you want?” Jin Zixun asked sourly.

“You tricked Lan Zhan into getting drunk, you piece of shit,” Wei Ying hissed. “You know Lan Zhan doesn’t drink! And I knew you were a sleaze, but getting people drunk by deceiving them is a new low even for you.”

Jin Zixun’s face quickly shifted from hesitant annoyance to anger. The corners of his mouth shifted downwards, and his ugly mug became even uglier in the process.

“Your little prince only has himself to blame,” he hissed. “So self-righteous –  always pretending to be noble. What’s wrong with a little prank? He deserves being taken down a notch or two.”

Wei Ying was going to take Jin Zixun down a notch or two. Or maybe a storey or two.

“Just when I thought you couldn’t get any worse, Jin Zixun, you prove yet again that rock bottom, for you, is somewhere deep underground.”

“Oh yeah?” Jin Zixun returned, apparently feeling safe because Wei Ying was alone, and he was with four people that would back him up. “Tell me, Wei Ying, is he at least paying you well for the services you render? You filthy whore!”

Wei Ying jerked back, taken aback by the sudden onslaught.

What the hell?

Did Jin Zixun think…

But he never got any farther than that, because the next moment, someone had reached for Jin Zixun’s arm and twisted once, hard. Jin Zixun cried out and went down with the movement, trying to relieve the pressure on his joints. The only thing he did end up doing, however, was ending up as a neat little package on the floor.

“If you use such language again,” Lan Zhan said, “I will break your arm.”

Lan Zhan. Of course it was Lan Zhan.

Wei Ying had no idea how Lan Zhan had managed to find Wei Ying, and how he had managed to walk all the way to this place, as drunk as he had been when Wei Ying had left him just a little while ago.

“Lan Zhan,” he said, trying to sound calming. He stepped in between Lan Zhan and Jin Zixun, putting a hand onto Lan Zhan’s arm in order to encourage him to let go of Jin Zixuan. “He’s not worth it, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Zhan’s jaw flexed with anger and stubbornness.

“He called you names.”

“And he’s a stupid little worm, Lan Zhan, so don’t worry about it. Everything that leaves his mouth is garbage.”

And then Lan Zhan let, thankfully, go of Jin Zixun’s arm.

Jin Zixun gasped and clutched his arm to his chest.

“You fucking freaks,” he cursed. “Either of you is as bad as the other.”

Wei Ying grinned, because honestly, it sounded rather like a compliment. To be compared to Lan Zhan certainly was a compliment.

“Do anything to Lan Zhan again and I will make you rue the day you were born,” he warned Jin Zixun, and then he herded Lan Zhan out of the room, leaving Jin Zixun to wallow in his self-inflicted misery.

If he were honest, he still felt like hurting Jin Zixun a little more, but now that Lan Zhan was here with him, Wei Ying had other priorities. Not getting Lan Zhan in trouble being the first of them, probably. Getting him back to his room unscathed being the second.

“Lan Zhan,” he sighed. “I have no idea how you even found me.”

“I know Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan said, a little petulantly.

“Mh,” Wei Ying agreed, patting Lan Zhan’s shoulder lightly. “It looks that way.”

He looked over at Lan Zhan and smiled, and Lan Zhan looked back at him, all serious with his beautiful, stupid, earnest eyes.

Damn, Wei Ying thought to himself. Lan Zhan really was an extremely handsome man, and Wei Ying wished he was anything like him.

“Anyway,” he said, turning his gaze away from Lan Zhan and coughing a little. What the hell had gotten into him? “Time to bring you back to your room. All good little Lan Zhans should be asleep by now.”

Lan Zhan did not object, and so Wei Ying led Lan Zhan back to his room with the thought that this had become a new kind of routine, lately.

He wasn’t quite sure if that was good or bad.

---

“Ah, Lan Zhan, what am I going to do with you,” Wei Ying tiredly mused once he had tucked Lan Zhan into bed.

Lan Zhan had gracefully allowed the treatment, though he didn’t look quite as tired as he usually tended to be when he got drunk, and gave no sign that he was close to falling asleep. He just continued to look at Wei Ying with a steady, unreadable gaze.

“You know you shouldn’t get close to someone like Jin Zixun, he’s bad news,” Wei Ying continued with a sigh. “You don’t even like him, why are you talking to him?”

Lan Zhan looked up at Wei Ying with the mulish expression that he usually wore when he wasn’t willing to listen to any of Wei Ying’s frankly very rational opinions.

“He was mean,” Lan Zhan declared.

“Lan Zhan, Jin Zixun is always mean, I don’t think he knows how to be anything else.”

“He was mean about Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan elaborated. “I will not let him badmouth Wei Ying.”

“Ah, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying sighed, and he tried to will away the blush that he felt spreading across his face. To distract himself, he patted Lan Zhan’s hands, properly folded over his chest like the proper young master that he was. (He doubted he would be successful to will away the squirming feeling in his chest, so he didn’t even try.) “You don’t need to feel responsible for my reputation. Everyone knows I’m bad.”

“It is wrong,” Lan Zhan insisted with vehemence. “Wei Ying is a good person.”

Wei Ying laughed.

“Aw, Lan Zhan, I’m happy that you think so, but you really don’t need to defend my virtue to people like Jin Zixun. I’ll be fine either way.”

Lan Zhan, however, didn’t seem to be happy with that solution.

“Everyone should know that Wei Ying is good,” he said. “And they should know that they cannot have you.”

“Aw, because I’m already besties with Lan Zhan?” Wei Ying teased. Then he leaned in and told Lan Zhan conspiratorially, “For what it’s worth, I like Lan Zhan the best, and I would never even want to have anything to do with someone like Jin Zixun. He can think about me whatever he wants, as long as Lan Zhan likes me.”

“I do like you,” Lan Zhan informed him seriously.

Goodness gracious, this man was bad for Wei Ying’s blood pressure.

“You flirt!” he accused Lan Zhan playfully. “You just want to get into my pants!”

“No,” Lan Zhan replied, invariably serious. “Marry you first.”

Then he turned around, smushed his face into his pillow rather ungracefully, and fell asleep.

Apparently, he was quite satisfied with himself after dropping such a massive bomb onto Wei Ying.

Wei Ying, on the other hand, just sat there, on the corner of Lan Zhan’s bed, staring at Lan Zhan’s asleep profile and not knowing what to think or do next.

Marry him?

First?

[baoshan-sanren]

Chapter 39

of the wwx emperor au I’m thinking of calling Fuck the Canon: Happy Endings For Everyone

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 Part 1 | Chapter 8 Part 2 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 Part 1 | Chapter 15 Part 2 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 Part 1 | Chapter 22 Part 2 | Chapter 23 | Chapter 24 | Chapter 25 | Chapter 26 | Chapter 27 | Chapter 28 | Chapter 29 | Chapter 30 | Chapter 31 | Chapter 32 | Chapter 33 | Chapter 34 | Chapter 35 | Chapter 36 | Chapter 37 | Chapter 38

The meeting concludes in a way that is more than satisfactory to the Emperor, if not so satisfactory to the rest of the Council.

Jiang FengMian is to retain his title of High Councilor, but only to soften the blow of the abrupt transition of power. A period of five years has been determined as sufficient for this task. Uncle Jiang will use those years to guide his replacement in the court intricacies and details of his responsibilities, which will ensure full transparency in this particular shift of power.  

The choice of the next High Councilor had been the bloodiest battle of the day, one that had drawn the meeting to a standstill for hours. Wei Ying would not budge from his choice however, and once fully aware of his intentions, uncle Jiang had given his firm and unquestionable support. With uncle XingChen’s help, they had wrangled the Council into submission, skillfully enough where Wei Ying had felt guilty, all over again, for nearly causing uncle Jiang to qi deviate that very morning.

Shijie will make an excellent High Councilor. Behind her gentle voice and agreeable manner, there is strength of conviction that the Sect Leaders will find as unyielding as a rocky mountain side. Wei Ying cannot wait to see her turn all that sweet charm and strength of will against Sect Leader Yao, or any of the other men long accustomed to Jiang FengMian’s flexibility. Wei Ying may actually start attending Sect Leader meetings regularly, just for entertainment’s sake.

With the High Councilor being forced into retirement within five years, and the Council itself on the verge of dissolving, the question of the Emperor’s marriage to a Second Young Master of a disgraced Sect is no longer as grave as it would have appeared under less serious circumstances. It was immediately apparent which Sect Leaders had spent their morning in close talks with the Royal Companion. These men, fidgeting and nervous, had voiced their support for the marriage before Wei Ying could even fully voice his intentions.

He had never felt the need to ask A-Sang what particular leverage he has over certain sect leaders, or how he had come to obtain it. A-Sang has always been eerily skilled at ferreting out their secrets and honing in on their weaknesses. The information A-Sang has on them must be significant, because they would not be influenced to withdraw their support, regardless of the pressure from the other Council members.

Wei Ying is allowed to marry anyone he chooses, Lan Zhan included.

It is a good day, and he feels immeasurably happy leaving the council hall, watching the Sect Leaders drift away in a daze, as if physically beaten into submission. He had promised Lan Zhan that he would give him time to speak with his uncle, to speak with his brother, to consult with the Lan Sect Elders. He had promised as much time as Lan Zhan wants or needs. Still, it is a struggle not to immediately seek him out and make the proposal again, properly this time, with all the pomp and ceremony.

He will not. He will be patient. But.

Someone should inform Lan Zhan that the Council has reached a favorable decision. This is not information that Lan Zhan should obtain second-hand, through gossip and idle chatter. Wei Ying will not pressure him, but informing him that the Council had given its unanimous approval would be the proper, respectful thing to do. It is nowhere near the thing Wei Ying actually wants to do, which is to fall to his knees and latch on to Lan Zhan’s ankles and beg him to agree to the marriage now.

Perhaps if he only strolled by the Imperial guest chambers. Casually. And happened to catch the sight of Lan Zhan, perhaps he could--

“Wei WuXian!”

The shout echoes against the high ceiling, rebounding down the hallway with force.

There is only one person who would dare shout his name in the Jade Sword Palace, and that person is currently waiting for him at the South Lakes Pavilion. Also, A-Cheng rarely disrespects him in public, unless Wei Ying has done something truly obnoxious.

He turns to find Jin ZiXuan striding down the hallway, his sword drawn, his face red and furious.

Uh-oh Wei Ying thinks.

He had forgotten all about him.

“Wei WuXian!! How dare you!?”

His voice is nearly obliterated by the sound of blades being drawn all around them, both Imperial Guards and the Jiang Sect forming a wall in front of Wei Ying. Jin GuangShan, who is not the member of the Council, and yet, is always somehow found hovering in the vicinity of every Council meeting, throws himself in front of Jin ZiXuan.

Wei Ying has never before seen Jin GuangShan look visibly terrified; it is not nearly as amusing as he had expected it to be.  

“What are you standing there for?” he snaps at the four disciples following behind Jin ZiXuan, all four clearly distraught, “Grab him.”

Jin ZiXuan wheels on the four disciples, sword at the ready, as if daring them to try.

“Please forgive my son, Your Majesty,” Jin GuangShan exclaims, “He has been ill lately, and speaking nonsense. We have had him confined for his own safety. I will take him back immediately. ZiXuan, your mother must be worried to death! Let us go back.”

Jin ZiXuan is practically vibrating. Wei Ying has never seen the Young Master of the Jin Sect this overwrought; he would not have thought it possible.

The dignified, puffed-up peacock is acting like an absolute madman. It is fascinating to watch. Wei Ying wishes A-Sang was here to see it for himself.

“I demand an account of the Emperor!” the youth shouts, “I demand to know why my betrothal was dissolved! I have the right to know!”

“You have a right to nothing!” Jin GuangShan shouts in his face, his beard quivering in agitation, “It is not on you to question the Emperor! Your Majesty,” he turns to Wei Ying, his smile sickly, “As you can see, he is not well. Please do not listen to anything he says. This illness is a personal matter, one that will be resolved quickly.”

“I am not ill!” Jin ZiXuan shakes off his father’s insistent grip to point his sword at Wei Ying, as if unaware of the three dozen swords that point at him in turn, “I demand an answer!”

Wei Ying does not have an answer, at least not an answer that would satisfy Jin ZiXuan. The dissolution of the engagement was nothing more than a power move in a game he had intended to win at any cost.

Shijie knows that Wei Ying will eventually allow the marriage to take place. He would never deny her happiness for his own gain, even if he cannot possibly comprehend what happiness can be gained from marrying into the Jin Sect.

But Jin ZiXuan does not know that the dissolution of his betrothal is not a permanent measure. And apparently, he feels quite strongly about this, a revelation that is somehow both satisfactory and annoying.

“Your Majesty,” Jiang FengMian says, “I do believe that Jin ZiXuan must be seriously ill. Otherwise, he would never act like this. Please allow Sect Leader Jin to take his son back. We will summon the Head Healer immediately.”

Jin ZiXuan looks as if he may stab the next person who suggests that he is ill.

“Nonsense,” Sect Leader Yao exclaims, just when his opinion is least wanted or needed, “No illness excuses such disrespect. Any man who speaks to the Emperor in this way should be accused of inciting rebellion, and his life be made forfeit.”

Jin GuangShan looks horrified. Jiang FengMain grimaces into his beard.

Wei Ying does not want to laugh, but it is incredibly difficult to keep a straight face. Sect Leader Yao, who would slander his own mother if it gained him favor, accusing someone else of disrespect. A-Sang will be furious he has missed this performance.

“Put him in the dungeons for now,” Wei Ying says, “Let us see if his head cools. Do not hurt him!” he adds quickly, as the Imperial guard advances to seize Jin ZiXuan’s sword.  

Predictably, Jin ZiXuan fights them, and predictably, he loses, although Wei Ying has to admit that the boy’s skills are fairly decent.

“Your Majesty,” uncle Jiang begins, his voice concerned, “the Young Master’s illness--“

“He is not ill,” Wei Ying snorts quietly, so his voice would not carry to Sect Leader Yao, “He is young, stupid, and angry. I identify, but cannot condone such behavior in public.”

“Your Majesty,” Jin GuangShan is kneeling, his face as gray as the stone arch behind him, “I beg leniency for my son. He is truly not well--“

“Sect Leader,” Wei Ying interrupts coldly, “Do not invite me to speak words we may both regret in the future. Your son had drawn his sword with the intent to cause harm to the Emperor. What possible leniency can you seek that I have not already shown?”

Jin GuangShan says nothing else, and his silence is somehow more unsettling than all the falsehoods that so frequently spill out of his mouth. He remains kneeling even as Wei Ying gathers his escort, and continues down the hallway as if nothing of significance had occurred.

“This will cause problems, Your Majesty,” uncle Jiang says softly.

“Then do your job, and ensure that it does not.”

[i-am-gusu]

It has been a while. Longer than I expected. I didn't feel the need to share. Not right away, at the very least. 

I have told my therapist that I have been savouring the things happening in my life and she agreed that I am allowed to. I’ve been focusing on sharing with friends and family. Focusing on learning that there are so many people caring about me, willing to listen to the thoughts in my head. Even Uncle. Even Uncle...  

Many, many things happened. 

Wei Ying’s birthday. 

New employees.

We got married again.

Another Christmas.

Another New Years.

I don’t know why I’m feeling the need to write about these right now. It felt hard (and unnecessary too) for me to sit down and write before. But I am feeling a little nostalgic about this place today. About sharing the things that are important to me. So I decided to come back.

(I must say. Huaisang had to help me find my password again. I tried so many different variations of what I thought it was that I couldn’t get in anymore. Not my best moment, but not my worst. You’ve all known about my worst. I don’t know if you’re still here, but if you are, thank you for staying.)

Where to start?

I remember I did talk about our newest employees before. They are still adapting well at the café. Strangely enough, Xue Yang is very good at business and not just making baked goods. He and Mianmian have been getting along very well and helped to work out ways to save money without sacrificing quality. Said money has been used to update our kitchens (Yanli-jie have been the one picking the items) and renovate part of the bunnies hutch so it’s bigger and most of it is now encased in the walls. We also upgraded our internet service so we can stream the inside of the bunnies hutch 24/7. We installed a screen in the café so customers can also see what’s happening there when they come in. The views started bringing in income too. Shallow compared to what we’re making with the whole business so far, but we have been donating it all to the local animal shelter. They now have a Honey Buns wing, and we keep the listing for adoptions on our website (we have a website now!) and in the café too. Twice a month, some of the buns to be adopted are brought in the café to be introduced to people and encourage adoptions. One stayed with us, too old and too frightened to be with others. She reminds me a lot of Boogey. She stays upstairs with us, with Bichen and Suibian. She doesn’t mind their company but she’s clearly more comfortable on her own in the big room. We installed cameras there too, to make sure she’s okay when we’re not there. The vet said she probably has just a few years left (“5 at most if she’s lucky”), and I want them to be her best. She’s still not used to us. It’s a little heartbreaking to have a bun run away from me when I come close, but Wei Ying thinks it’s funny “imagine this but with *all* the bunnies Lan Zhan!” I don’t want to imagine it, but it’s okay if she feels safe. She flops on her side when alone and that’s what matters. Her previous owners (despicable people that used her only for breeding, we do not talk about them) called her Norma Jean, and Wei Ying decided to change it to Norma Bean, or Bean for short, “so she can fit in with the rest of them.” I like the name, even though I’m not ready to put it on a rock. 

… I am aware that is an awful lot of information for just one bunny… I just can’t help it. I love all of them. I wish you could meet them too, even though you wouldn’t see Bean at all. 

Mo Xuanyu has been getting better and better with customers now. He stands taller and laughs freely with the others. He gave it a try in the kitchens and we all realized he was not a good match with cooking, but he is very talented with social media and he’s the one who now promotes most of our work through Tiktok and Instagram mainly. A-Qing just likes to do the silly dances with him, holding the buns up for adoption. Apparently we have a very large following there but I’m not well-versed in social media in general so I leave it to them. They have fun at it, and not just them. They often ask me to join in group dances and I’ve stood my ground so far. Wei Ying and the others have had no qualms about it though. Some of the customers too. I might accept the day my Uncle joins, but that seems very, very far away. I’m counting on it. 

I’ve had a long conversation with my Uncle lately. Well… Wei Ying helped with that. It was after we got married again. Wei Ying only told me afterwards, but he went to deliver the invitation to our wedding to Uncle in person, and he talked with him too. Uncle said he reflected a lot on what he told him. We went for a walk one Tuesday  after work. Uncle stayed at the café longer than usual, waiting for me. At first, the walk was awkwardly quiet, yet familiar in its silence. And then, Uncle started by telling me that he really enjoyed Wei Ying and I’s wedding. ���It was perfectly planned. And beautiful,” he said. I nodded with the memories of it. “I can see that your partner is a good man, and that he makes you happy. I apologize for not having been there to see it earlier.” I nodded again. Uncle was right about Wei Ying, but I didn’t know how to respond to his apology. I had never heard him apologize to me that way before. Not for what had happened in the past. I know Uncle has been more in contact with Auntie Yi since that time Ge and I blew up in his face. Maybe that helped too. We sat on a bench near the park where Wei Ying and I take A-Yuan on our days off, and with great pauses that I believe were hesitations (I have never seen Uncle hesitant before), he started talking about himself. He admitted to what he said himself were his failures towards my brother and I. 

(Later, when I spoke with Ge, he told me he and Uncle had had this conversation too, in less words than needed for me. “For all that you’re quiet, didi, you sure require more words in your life than I do. I’m happy you’re living a life where you get to have that,” Xichen said. I know he meant Wei Ying. I consider myself lucky indeed to have him in my life.) 

Uncle talked about how young he was when he was given the responsibility of us. “This is not what I had planned for my life, he said. “I was not prepared to take care of children.” There was a pause longer than the previous ones had been, and then “There were many times when I resented my brother for leaving me alone with such burdens. I was wrong. For thinking that way. Neither of you ever were burdens.” I let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding at that. I had been ready to leave if he still believed us to be burdens in his life. I did it before and I could do it again. But instead, I sat there with him in companionable silence until he broke it again, turning sideways to look at me. “My lack of knowledge and experience, my feelings, are no excuse for the way I have treated you, for not acknowledging your feelings sooner. For keeping painful truths hidden from you. You and Xichen have both been braver than I ever was. I apologize for not seeing that sooner, for not seeing the grown men you have become.” Then, quietly, almost to himself: “It saddens me that your father was never there to witness it either.” “I wish he had been there too,” I admitted to him at the same time I admitted it to myself. Uncle gently patted my hand and I turned mine upward to hold it. It warmed my heart that he didn’t try to remove it as silence grew once again, this time lighter than it had been before. 

When I came home afterwards, Wei Ying welcomed me with a hug and I started sobbing the way I did not allow myself to earlier. He held me tightly and pulled me to the living room for more comfort, and later swaddled me in blankets and put a silly movie on that we both watched already, so I could interrupt whenever and talk if I needed to. My husband is perfect in every single way. 

I sit with Uncle now every time he comes to the café, regular like a well-winded clock. I spend my break with him, and we talk, petting bunnies. Sometimes, A-Yuan sits with us. Sometimes, Xichen visits too and we’re together. Sometimes, Wei Ying is there, but he’s more often around, and I can feel his eyes on me all along. He always hugs me afterwards and peppers my face with kisses. That certainly helps as positive reinforcement. 

Xichen-ge is doing well. He and Dage are planning to adopt a child soon. He tells me they got the idea from Wei Ying and I. We’re currently in the process of officially adopting A-Yuan. Wen Ning started going to school again to become a pre-school teacher (he is amazing with young children, he seems to thrive in the environment), and A-Yuan’s grandma’s health started deteriorating. She’s still capable of taking care of herself, but taking care of others is out of range for her now. She started living with Wen Ning and Wen Qing’s uncle, and A-Yuan lives with us now. Well, most of the time. He spends a lot of nights at Yanli-jie’s house. And at little Ouyang ZiZhen’s house. And at Wen Qing’s and Wen Ning’s when they’re available. Mianmian and Qin Su also love to steal him from time to time. And now, even Ge started to take him away, “we have to practice taking care of a child!” he says. A-Yuan is spoiled and adored and he deserves all of it. He also made a friend at school, a boy named Jingyi that he keeps bringing up in almost every conversation we have. We have been planning to meet with his parents soon so we can give A-Yuan permission to stay at his place for sleepovers. We don’t have many rules in our house, but for his safety Wei Ying and I decided to only allow him sleepovers at the houses of people we already know. Jingyi’s mother and I have been exchanging emails lately to schedule a meeting with his father as well, but as they are relatively new in town and they are still getting settled, we agreed to wait a month or so for that. A-Yuan is disappointed with the rule but he is being a good boy about it. Being able to see Jingyi on a daily basis at school certainly helps. 

Wei Ying and I have taken to fatherhood like a glove. It feels like we were meant to be for this, together. It did change some of Wei Ying and I’s habits, but… We make due with the time we have together when he’s with the rest of the family. 

Speaking of A-Yuan, he was our ring bearer during the wedding. I feel it’s time I write about this. It was such a huge event, and I still can’t believe I was successfully kept in the dark by all of those involved for so long. My therapist says that it’s good, that it means I fully trust those I love, so even if suspicion arises, I know they won’t hurt me in any way. Considering the past, she thinks it’s impressive. I think what’s impressive is the amount of love and care Wei Ying and my family put into this. I will start another post with this, I think it will be better.