#i am. very ill about them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

apollos-boyfriend · 1 year ago

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since your playing p5 whats your thoughts on the team members so far? :D

okay so! as a heads up i have already Experienced p5r so these r not initial thoughts necessarily. but i still want to rant about my favoritest kids <3 this got long so i'm putting it below the cut whoops ladkjf

ryuji! i fucking love ryuji man. i think a lot of people write him off as just the goofy sidekick character but he is SO much more to me. a lot of ryuji's trauma gets so overlooked due to the fact of him largely being comic relief, but like. that kid has gone through SO much!!!! between his father and kamoshida and his peers like. he is SO strong. i love his characterization of "people are treating me like a punk, i may as well act like it" bc it's not even him necessarily playing a role he isn't. he is a punk! he's disruptive and counter-cultural and has issues with authority. and that's punk, but also like, those are the parts of punk that society sees and demonizes. ryuji is punk not just because of that, but because he cares about others before all else and stands up for what's right no matter what, even if it means being punished for it, because he has a super strong sense of justice and is super protective over those he loves!! i feel like a lot of ryuji's character gets kind of. skipped over by a large majority of players. because his actions and presentation is very specific to fighting against japanese culture, meaning it gets lost in translation unless you're aware of japanese culture and norms. i love this boy so much <3

i have. a lot of thoughts on ann. largely her meta-treatment by the writers as opposed to her in-game self. you can find some ramblings if u scroll down my p5lb tag, bc i have. a Lot of thoughts on that aspect of her. on a lighter note, though, i fucking love ann. i think she also kind of falls into the mischaracterization of being ditzy at times. not as badly as ryuji, but ann is a very open character. she's extremely compassionate and wants to help everyone she possibly can, even at her own detriment at times, but as we're shown this sometimes leads her to being used by others. which i think leads to people making her just. overly trusting to a blind degree. or stupid. but ann is super smart! she immediately clocked that the painting was yusuke's, not madarame's, and is shown time and time again to be able to understand others' true feelings, even if they're trying to keep them hidden. i really like how she's blunt and honest, even if it comes off as harsh or insensitive. she speaks her mind! she's not going to hesitate and risk not being heard to understood! i really love that for her

i haven't gotten him yet BUT i am on madarame so. i will sneak in yusuke. because i love him. he is truly one of the characters ever. obviously he is one of The most autistic-coded characters in the game (alongside futaba). which is detrimental to an extent. bc people often just fully mischaracterize him due to his eccentricity. for me i just really love how unapologetic he is with it. that kid has never heard of masking in his life (/pos). he's one of the characters i feel for the most because like. god. he had his whole fucking world twisted. haru and makoto had similar experiences of people they'd known all their lives becoming corrupt, but like. haru's dad wasn't always like that. and neither was makoto's sister. they HAD good intentions. madarame never did. he's the closest to mirroring akechi in that sense, except akechi knew all along. yusuke didn't have that privilege. that sense of revenge. i think his story is so delicate and difficult because how do you even go about knowing your entire life was a lie? and not even in a way you can step away from. art was still his world. it's not just something he did for madarame. the knowledge of carrying that burden. of those memories that shaped you being corrupted in such a way.

morgana is there. i guess. wish he wasn't.

#muse talk #anon #p5lb #tl;dr I LOVE THOSE KIDS UR HONOR #i can. also ramble about the others. for hours #i am. very ill about them #heart <3

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florallylly · 10 months ago

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i've seen model steve harrington aus. i've seen child steve harrington aus. i present: child model steve harrington

note: this came from my own desperate need to see this conceptualized and i SWEAR i've searched, i just can't find any content with child model steve so. :(

bc little steve harrington was remarkably cherub-like. his large brown eyes and soft pout ensured endless cooing and fussing from his mom's friends. and when he blushed and ducked his head in shyness, they only complimented him more. when he got home that day, his mom smiled at him.

so steve decided that he would put up with the cheek pinching and the squealing. he sat upright in his chair, sitting on his hands so he wouldn't fidget and ruin the image. because he'd do anything to keep his mom smiling at him. if he was being particularly good that day, she'd let him lay his head on her lap on the drive back home.

but everything changed at his father's birthday gala. a nearly eight year old steve harrington sat prim and proper in his seat, but a smile lit up his face--his cheeks round and his dimples showing up. he raised his hand up to cover his giggle, but he couldn't help but laugh at some silly old man with a loose toupee. then he sees his mom approaching, and his face quickly smooths over, going back to the more polite smile he usually adopted when it came to these events.

he'd ruined it. he hadn't continued being the sweet boy his mom wanted. but then, she smiles at him. and introduces him to the man behind her, who says he's a designer. the man holds out his hand, but when steve puts his hand into his palm, he doesn't shake it. the man simply holds his hand, his eyes scanning steve's face. steve tries not to squirm under the attention. but the man nods and smiles at his mom, and he gives two brief cheek kisses to steve, whispering in his ear "you're going to be a star, darling." steve looks at his mom, confused, but she waves him off to continue talking to the man.

a few months later, steve's mom whisks him off on a trip to france. and steve is so excited to go, nearly vibrating in his seat as the airplane prepares to take off. but instead of the eiffel tower and the seine, steve is taken to a studio. he's posed and changed. once again, he's being fussed over, but instead of wealthy socialites, gossiping make-up artists squeal over him. he's "perfect for the shoot" and "the most darling little boy." steve doesn't understand, but his mom is still smiling, so he lets the nice ladies brush powder over his face.

and he looks in the mirror. his hair is a little more tousled and his lips have a slight tint to them and his eyes seem to take up much of his face. he's put into new clothes, and he feels like a doll in their hands. and when he's put in front of the camera, he simply follows the photographer's directions. afterwards, he's bundled into the car and his mom can't stop gushing about how good he was.

apparently, he's a natural. and then she goes back to fussing over him, focusing more on appearance than his behavior now. but she takes him out shopping and they eat at an upscale restaurant along the champs-elysses. and steve is happy.

and then they go back home, and his mom is so much stricter than before. she has him try out all kinds of different hair products, determined to find the best combination to keep it looking shiny and soft. she controls his food intake and what he wears and makes him use weird creams and serums on his face. but this is what makes his mom happy, so he's happy to let her.

his mom is also on the phone a lot more lately, whispering harshly about the quality of brands and steve just assumes she's being picky about the clothes she buys. later, his mom picks him up and holds him, and asks if he'd like to move to italy. she looks at him intently and it's obvious what answer she wants, so steve nods. she smiles and holds him close, and it's the most loved steve has felt in a while.

so they move to italy, and suddenly steve is a lot more busy. he's put in front of more cameras for more people he doesn't know. but he's smiling and pouting and doing whatever they want him to do. his compliant attitude and polite nature have photographers and designers alike singing his praises, and steve always looks to his mom for approval. but she's been arguing with his dad a lot lately, so she's upset more often than not. but that's okay, the make-up artists are always kind to him.

but then one day, his mom takes a phone call in the middle of the shoot. and when it finishes, she's gone. steve goes back in, close to tears, but the make-up artists still hanging around look after him until a car is sent to pick him up. this becomes a trend. and eventually, steve goes alone to his shoots. he's always taken care of by the crew and someone is always there to pick him up, but it's not fun without his mom there.

but he knows that she's always enjoyed him taking pictures, so he continues to do so, hoping that she'll come watch him again sometime soon. and he busies himself with befriending the chatty make-up artists and the bossy photographers and the eccentric designers. and he's such a cute little thing that they can't help but dote on him.

steve is never catapulted into child stardom, as his mom is picky with his jobs, only choosing luxury brands and well known designers for him. but within the industry, they call him the "little prince."

and then steve is catapulted into puberty, but his intense skin regimen prevents him from getting acne, save for the occasional zit. and his diet and religious exercise schedule help maintain his look. and he's still doing remarkably well, especially now that he's fully aware that he is a Model.

and steve has truly grown into his looks. with time, he's grown more comfortable in front of the camera and made numerous friends. nearly all of them are older than him, but they're fun and loud and it fills up the space that normally surrounds him. and they're the ones who get him hooked on american movies. steve remembers living in america, but he's been in milan so long that everything he recalls is vague.

but he watches them and falls in love with the american high school experience. so when he finally catches his mom off the phone and actually in the house, steve asks if he can go to school in america. and his mom laughs. but steve keeps asking, which devolves into begging. and his mother snaps, slapping him across the face and calling him ungrateful. she cries and begs for forgiveness, cowed into shame by steve's desperate attempt to hold back tears.

and so she lets him go to school in hawkins, indiana. an odd choice, but his parents just so happened to own a property there. (in truth, both of his parents expected him to change his mind within the year). but steve finds his place at hawkins high, because even though nobody in hawkins has ever heard of versace, steve is pretty. he's pretty and charming and he knows the right thing to say. after all, he's spent his whole life perfecting his mask.

and even if his mom ended up moving back home with his dad, leaving steve all alone in that big empty house, steve is happy. he's finally hanging out with people his age and high school is so far removed from the glitz and glam of the fashion industry. and he's settled and content with tommy and carol by his side. while he misses his friends back in milan, steve finds himself longing for the clothes more often. hawkins was certainly the opposite of milan, what with the nearest mall being two hours away and only equipped with a macy's and jcpenny.

through it all, steve is determined to be normal. he laughs along with jokes he doesn't quite get and rolls his eyes at carol's cue, and he joins the swim team. and he joins the basketball team. and he goes to parties and kisses girls and wears dumb little polos with his letterman jacket and does everything that he saw in the movies.

but nancy wheeler is different. steve can't forget his time in italy and who he is and was, and he's reminded of his old life in everyone and everything in hawkins. but not nancy wheeler. she's all hawkins and all his. and then the upside down happens.

and then nancy wheeler breaks his heart.

even after three years, his parents continue to ask when he'll go back to modeling, but he's different now. the upside down and billy hargrove beat that starry eyed little kid who thrived in the spotlight. and nancy wheeler proved that adoration and love is fleeting, so what would even be the point of trying anymore? his dad was a little more approving of steve's retirement/hiatus, saying that steve must want to go to college so he can take over the family business.

but when steve doesn't get into college, he's once again badgered by his mom to go back. but he's grown and changed and he's not sure that he can pretend anymore, so he says no. and they cut him off. enter: scoops era.

the measly scoops salary is not nearly enough to cover all of the new bills and expenses steve has, but he's not willing to leave hawkins. so he reaches out to his friends back in italy, and they refer him to their american connections. steve doesn't model at the same level as before, but he poses for a couple of zines and one artist who got a little too handsy at his exhibition. but he's able to make it through until the mall blows up.

this routine continues and he starts working at family video with robin at his side, but he keeps his side job a secret from the kids, using the excuse of visiting his parents to leave town for his shoots. he's not ashamed, but he knows he wouldn't "be normal" anymore if they found out.

but how does he explain his near mental breakdown at the sight of his healing demobat scars. they're raised and ugly, ruining what should have been a perfect body. and even though he uses scar cream everyday, they refuse to fade away completely. and how could anyone stand to be near such an ugly thing when all his life, steve was meant to be pretty? after all, love and adoration is fleeting.

#steve harrington #give me grace i literally do not know how to verbalize all of my thoughts about this #child model au #imagining them finding out bc jonathan or will was interested in some photography art exhibition and steve is literally the centerpiece #everyone FREAKING OUT #robin knew bc OFC robin knew #steve feeling too self conscious to keep his old ads but he knows his mom keeps a record in her office #dustin screaming crying punching the wall YOUVE BEEN FAMOUS THIS WHOLE TIME... AND DIDNT TELL ME....#mike wheeler feeling ill bc is steve actually kind of cool....#italian steve harrington #because OF COURSE italian steve harrington #eddie munson asking steve if he'd ever consider doing playboy #steve going into a very serious answer about his career projection and actually that's an insult eddie. do u know who i am #and eddie is like yeah ur the centerfold in my heart baby #and then steve gets it #to be so clear. steve's mom DOES love him but she's also extremely selfish #that's why she feels bad when she slaps him and concedes to his request #but once she gets over the initial guilt she's like but he was a STAR i was the mother of a STAR

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