#i am yet to play the game because This Country Is Very Good And I Absolutely Have Access To Any Game I Want but i love his design

[i-mode]

so many cool characters i wanna draw hrmhmm

[burrcapts]

Puffing Past Your Prime

Oh man, Zach just loved whenever this happened! Ever since their social media app took off and reached top 5 most downloaded in the whole country people started inviting him to spots like this all the time. Was this one some posh restaurant? Cafe? Gentleman's club? Honestly, he had no idea, he simply received an email the other day from one of their investors that the people here asked about him and would like him to become a regular member. 

Naturally Zach had zero real interest in bougie crap like that, but usually he actually found it kind of funny to see the reactions of all those stuck up old men in suits whenever they saw him strutting into their elite clubs wearing nothing other than a t-shirt and a pair of old jeans with holes in them. More than once some of those pricks even tried to have him kicked out. But the staff at establishments like this seemed to be quite good at keeping tabs on the guests’ net worth so often they ended up sucking up to him rather than the old farts.

The waiters here were giving off a somewhat different vibe though… If Zach hadn't noticed that those few men who were always on the move, carrying trays around were wearing bow ties rather than neckties, he definitely wouldn't have been able to tell them apart from the regular guests! Places like this often looked kind of samey with everyone being old and wearing boring suits, but this was like a whole next level!

Zach had only just realized, but holy crap, there hasn't been a single person in the entire room who didn't have a ridiculously huge beard! He hadn't shaved since last week so technically maybe he was included in this, but his definitely wasn't as grey or white as theirs! The shades of their beards, the levels of baldness and the colors of their suits was pretty much the only thing that differentiated each one of them!

But one other interesting thing was that they were all smoking pipes! Even the waiters were having a puff while moving around and chatting with the guests. Did Mike forget to mention that this was some super exclusive spot for pipe smokers? Whatever… honestly, the thing that Zach found the most annoying was how nobody seemed to be paying much attention to him here. He purposely tried to be as loud and obnoxious as possible, unmuting his phone and playing that dumb farming video game that was right ahead of them in most app stores. Yet even then, the best reaction he got was some of them briefly looking at him with amused faces for a moment before returning to their previous activities and conversations.

“Good day, I sincerely apologize for the delay in attending to you Mr Bennett. My name is Theodore and I am the director of hospitality at our establishment. We are so delighted that you could pay us a visit today. I assure you that our staff will do everything in our power to make your induction to the club a truly exceptional experience!”

Just when Zach was starting to consider bailing out of here those two guys appeared right in front of him seemingly out of nowhere! The one speaking in an eloquent and surprisingly resonant voice was ridiculously huge, tall as hell, with a colossal belly like pretty much all of them. While somewhat shorter yet definitely still quite decently overweight one, standing a few steps behind him must have been a subordinate of his. 

Zach began to explain that this was a misunderstanding because he had no interest whatsoever  in joining their club or anything, but despite the very hospitable and eloquent welcome neither of them seemed to be paying much attention to whatever he said as they talked between each other.

“Shall I fetch one of the pipes, Sir?”

“Oh, naturally Sebastian, forthwith!”

“What kind, Sir?”

“Mmm… I surmise that one of the sluttier variety might be the most suitable for Mr Bennett, then he will naturally feel inclined to introduce numerous new, virile members to our association so they could fuck his slutty hole on the regular. Oh… one moment… yes, while I would certainly prefer him on the heavyset side so that ass of his grows truly colossal, why don't we also make him into a bit of a cum guzzling cock whore while we’re at it? Let's ensure that he always has either the stem of a pipe or a huge, turgid fuckstick between his lips! Do you think you can find a suitable one Sebastian?”

“Certainly Sir, I will return with one promptly!”

Hearing this guy say all those perverted, ridiculous things in the exact, same cultivated and graceful Männer as if he was some kind of a sommelier talking about an expensive bottle of wine would have been quite hilarious if his body language didn't make it immediately obvious that he wasn't planning on letting Zach leave until the other waiter was back. It was only now that all those old farts who were sitting all around were finally turning their heads towards him, watching the scene with utmost fascination.

Zach shouted at them to get the security because this guy was totally crazy but nobody budged at all. Rather than being concerned they seemed to find him freaking out so much more endearing than anything. When it became clear that they were all in on it too, Zach pulled out his phone and warned that huge guy that if he didn't let him go, he would call the cops.

Only then, something that temporarily broke Zach's brain proceeded to take place. Theodore took a deep puff from his pipe and then exhaled a tiny cloud of smoke towards Zach's hand that was holding the phone. It was just small enough to completely obscure it and even though Zach knew it was merely just smoke he instinctively tried to clutch the phone tighter within his fingers, only to find them clenching into fist! What the hell?! He waved the smoke away but his hand was completely empty!!!

“What the fuck?! How did you do that?!”

“Please Mr Bennett, turning a cellphone into a puff of smoke is merely a small parlor trick. Very soon you will have a chance to witness a far more impressive metamorphosis… Oh, would you look at that, Sebastian is already approaching with your pipe right on time!”

At that moment Zach remembered thinking it was kind of strange how this guy phrased it as ‘his pipe’ but as he caught a glimpse of what the other waiter was carrying on a tray, he understood straight away. It stood there, right on top of a highly adorned, golden stand, his pipe! It was like love at first sight. He never even thought about smoking one before but now they were going to be, no, they already were, completely inseparable! Its stem was placed between his teeth first thing in the morning and only left its rightful spot when he was ready to fall asleep!

A jovial, cheerful laughter spread across the room at the immediate change in Zach's demeanor as though all those men were now recalling some very fond memory of their own. On some level he understood that what was going on right now was totally crazy, but as if under some kind of a magical spell, he couldn't help himself when Theodore offered the pipe to him. 

Even thanking the man when he offered him a lit match so he could puff the pipe to life. Which Zach proceeded to do without a slightest hitch like a seasoned smoker. That also surprised him, but there wasn't much of a chance to ask himself why he knew how to do it so expertly because as soon as it was lit, he found himself greedily sucking on the stem and moaning in blissful pleasure. 

Oh gosh, he knew that this was his first time ever, but he felt like a drug addict getting his fix. It was just delightful, such a rich flavor! Sebastian always picked out only the finest tobacco! Zach moaned again, he was in heaven, his head was swimming as he started feeling warm and so… profoundly turned on! If he hadn't been in public, he would have already been reaching for his cock, but then again, so many of the men sitting around them already had theirs out and were merrily stroking while laying back in their big, leather armchairs and puffing along.

Sebastian was pitching a huge tent in his slacks and even Theodore was fondling himself with a satisfied smile. Zach noticed that, the first thought that popped into his head was how much he hoped they would pull them out soon so he could suck them both dry the moment he was finished with this bowl. Mmm, he just loved sucking off the other sexy gents at the club, he was such a cum guzzling cock whore and absolutely proud of it! 

Zach was just about to ask them to stop teasing him and whip them out next when he suddenly realized that he'd heard those words before. ‘Cum guzzling cock whore', that's what Theodore had said when he was instructing Sebastian what pipe he should fetch! Holy shit!

Now that the shivers started running down his spine at the terrifying, unbelievable implications of all of this and the abrupt shock partially outweighed the still persisting horniness flooding his head. Zach had the chance to take notice of just how uncomfortably tight his clothes were feeling right now. He'd managed to peel his eyes away from the bearded waiters’ sizable bulges, only to immediately regret it as he discovered a massive  gut sticking out from underneath his shirt.

Not only was it extremely hirsute, but all of the body fur was completely white! It made him look like some ridiculously fat grandpa! His shirt was rolling up so much that it could be mistaken for the top half of a bikini, which seemed awfully suitable because Zach could see it stretching over a pair of absolutely enormous man boobs!

As his eyes grew wide in disbelief, he instinctively took a deep puff from the pipe to calm his nerves, only to find the belly instantaneously swelling even further in size. The shirt splitting at the front and letting his huge, chubby tits to flop down on it like on top of a wide, spacious shelf. God… he was so fucking hot! Those were the first words that appeared in Zach's head, and for the life of him, he couldn't bring himself to deny them.

Somehow in mere moments since putting this pipe in his mouth, an old, fat, bearded man became his absolute ideal of beauty. Zach saw how wonderfully chubby his fingers were now and after admiring the soft, white hairs growing on each knuckle, brought them closer to his mouth. Much to his delight he discovered it surrounded by copious amounts of silky, delicate facial fur. He took a deep inhale and then began gently blowing the smoke into his palm, as if trying to catch it and massage it into his beard. Loving the feeling of it growing longer and more luxuriant between his fingers. Oh god… what was happening to him?! Why couldn't he stop?!

“What the fuck have you done to me?!”

Zach cried out before inevitably returning to exploring his growing and expanding body practically right away. One hand caressing his belly while the other reached for his swollen cock, completely overcome by pleasure.

“Nothing that any of us hadn't experienced when we were first initiated into the club, Mr Bennett. It is quite an honor, while our plans are to ideally connect all men worldwide to their destined pipes one day, understandably we first needed to prioritize those with the means to help us achieve that goal…”

He instantly understood why those bastards had invited him here. It was about his social media site! They wanted to use it to spread this shit… and make more sexy, pipe smoking gents… Zach felt a sinking feeling in his stomach when he realized that he was already thinking of all the different features they could implement in the future to spark an interest in their pipes in every single man who had ever registered. And he knew that once they had their first puff, it would then remain as their habit forever.

No… he couldn’t… and yet he was tugging on his cock even faster now, taking deeper and deeper puffs of smoke, finding it so marvelous how those big, hazy plumes were slowly escaping from between his lips whenever he parted them. He was sure that his users were going to find it just as enchanting too once he tweaks the algorithm a little and makes sure that their feeds are filled with nothing but videos and pictures of sexy, bearded gents having a puff as they play with their meat.

The temptation to join them soon becoming truly irresistible, but for that they will of course need a pipe of their own. Zachary moaned in profound arousal, knowing full well that even if a few were to, by some miracle manage to keep themselves from outright ordering one free of charge from their special internet store, they still had collected enough metadata on all of them to ensure that one would be waiting at their doorstep the following day anyway.

Mmm… Zachary couldn’t take this… he began picturing all those mesmerizing, big bellied, bearded gentlemen with their pipes! First filling the feeds of his website, then the streets of the cities all around the globe… introducing everyone they knew into this lovely habit… the biggest cloud of smoke yet had erupted from his mouth as he moaned deeply, his stubby cock twitching and spraying his massive, hairy thighs with creamy, white seed. And he simply could not wait to suck them all off one by one!

***

Zachary was quite amused to find himself back right in his personal office. Of course nobody from among his colleagues had recognized him, but when he suddenly stepped out of the elevator wearing this expensive looking, extravagant suit and holding a heavy suitcase, they must have assumed he was an important investor and asked him to wait for someone right here since, as he very well knew, that one room was still by far the most presentable part of the entire workplace that hadn’t changed much from the days when they were only a small start up.

Naturally nobody could get ahold of ‘Zach’ as his cell phone had vanished and all calls were going straight to voicemail, so the honor of entertaining him fell on Aaron, their CTO. Zachary was actually quite impressed by just how quickly his friend had managed to catch on to everything after he began recounting the events of the previous day. But fortunately Zachary had a chance to personally assist Sebastian and Theodore with picking out just the perfect pipe for him. Even though Aaron knew just what was coming, he couldn't possibly resist his invitation to have a small puff together. Or for that matter to later allow Zachary to wrap his lips around his engorged, stubby cock as they pondered about this exciting new direction for their company, and even more importantly, the best way to introduce their colleagues to all those pipes waiting for them in his suitcase.

If you liked the story and would like to read more bear themed transformation fiction, consider subscribing to my Patreon! I post captions like this and longer stories there regularly!

I have also set up two extra accounts on twitter and bluesky for caption purposes! https://x.com/burrcapts https://burrcapts.bsky.social/

[ghostofthemost141]

Custer

Pairing: Ghost x GN! Reader, no use of (Y/N), First POV

Word Count: 908

About: After an accomplished mission, Ghost is intrigued by the music he can hear you blasting in your earbuds.

Themes: None really, just a little drabble of Ghost and reader interacting.

Notes: The song featured in this short is Custer by Slipnot. Highly recommend it if heavy metal is your style! Nickname for this one is Puppy. Enjoy!

Cut cut cut me up and fuck fuck fuck me up

Cut cut cut me up and fuck fuck fuck me up

Cut cut cut me up and fuck fuck fuck me up

Cut cut cut me up and fuck fuck fuck me up

Cut cut cut me up and fuck fuck fuck me up

“Mission well done, everyone.” Price announced, gazing over all of us. 

Irreverence is my disease

It's secondhand, but you know me

The son of a bitch is on his knees

The last man standing gets no pity

We were currently heading back to our base and while everyone else was talking, I was destroying my hearing with my music. Couple of months ago, I joined Task Force 141, sworn in by Captain Price and so far I have enjoyed my stay here. Some missions are hard as fuck, take months and months to accomplish, while some others, like todays, only take a day or two to do and while I do love what I do, I also love being at our base. I keep to myself for the most part, whether I be walking outside or in my bunk reading a book while listening to music. It’s not that the guys don’t like me, I mean hell, they also invite me to play a game of pool or poker with them, most of the time I turn it down because I just want to do my own thing. You can’t really afford to make close friendships or even relationships in this line of work, you never know when something may happen to one of ‘hem. Soap can be an ass sometimes but he is cool and very outgoing. Gaz is the nicest of the lot, but can sometimes be too nice for his own good. Price is the definition of an old grumpy man, and can definitely act like one for sure, but he very much would take a bullet for one of us. Now Ghost, who happens to be sittin’ right next to me in this crowded vehicle, I haven’t figured out yet. He will mumble a hi if I am passing by or make a comment here and there, but he seems to be like me, likes to keep to himself. He is the closest with Soap by far, but even then I don’t really see them hanging around base as much as you think they would since they are close. 

You try so hard to be difficult

You want to win the war?

Know what you're fighting for

Hell yeah, it’s my favorite part. I began bumping my leg to the beat of the music as well as tapping my knee as if I was an old, country man in the West. 

Cut cut cut me up and fuck fuck fuck me up

Cut cut cut me up and fuck fuc-

I swear I felt someone nudge my shoulder, but I didn’t pay any mind to it as I immersed myself into my music. 

-k fuck fuck me up

Cut cut cut me up and fuck fuck fuck me up

Cut cut cut me up and fuck fuck fuck me up

Cut cut cut me up and fuck fu-

Okay someone is definitely tapping me on the shoulder. This better be good. I pulled my earbuds out in a huff. 

“You grumpy, Puppy?” A gravelly voice asked me. 

Ghost. I sneered at him a little bit for the nickname. For some reason, the task force came up with the nickname puppy for me. The reason for it? Well that I will never know they just started calling me that one day, around the time I first started. 

“Nope.”

“Seems like ‘t.” He remarked. 

“What is it to ya?” I asked. 

“You’re gonna damage ‘our hearing listening to that bloody music that damn loud.” He commented, his big blue eyes piercing into mine. 

“Oh so you’re the one that made me put my music away?” 

“Never told you to do that.” 

Dear lord, this man. As attractive he may be, he can be a real ass sometimes. 

“What song was it?” 

Ghost? The most grumpy British man to ever exist asking me about what I was listening to? I might as well be honored. 

“Custer by Slipknot.” I answer. 

“Slipknot? What kind of band is that?” Ghost asked. 

Is this really Ghost or did he bump his head during a mission or somethin’? 

“They are a heavy metal band that started in the mid 90’s. Custer is one of their most popular songs but it is one of my favorites.” I added. 

I could tell Ghost was processing what I said because he nodded his head in response and didn’t say a word back. So it’s up to me aye? 

“What kind of music do you listen to?” I asked him. 

“Hm. Some rock, some alternative, some reggae.” Ghost listed. 

“Reggae? Really?” I questioned, not expecting that answer. 

“Hey, don’t diss Bob Marley till you try ‘im.” Ghost remarked. 

“I’ll give him a try, L.T.” I said, shoving his shoulder with mine. 

I could see he rolled his eyes in response, but in a sarcastic way. 

“And I’ll Slipkno’ a try.” 

“SlipknoT.” 

“Don’t test me puppy.” Ghost growled a little, making me laugh, in which he eventually let out a chuckle. 

Ghost is definitely not as bad as everyone seems like he is, he just needs the right person to break down his walls. 

END

[canirove]

My neighbour Rúben | Chapter 3

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Masterlist

"Aww, sweetheart. I'm so glad you were able to come" grandma said, giving me a hug.

"I would not miss grandad's birthday for anything in the world."

"Not like your father" he said, also hugging me. The moment my dad knew I was coming back to London, he suddenly had an important meeting to attend and he couldn't join us all to celebrate. "He is a coward. Not being able to face his own daughter..."

"Let's leave that conversation for another day, shall we?" grandma said. "Today is a day to celebrate that she has a new job. C'mon, tell us everything about this Spanish girl. Is she posh? Where is the kid's dad?"

"Yes, share all the gossip with your grandma" grandad laughed, sitting down on his big chair.

"She isn't posh. Everything Lucy has is because she's worked her ass off to get it. Language, sorry."

"Don't worry, darling. Living in the North does that to you" grandma said, making grandad snort.

"We also swear on this part of the country, you know?" he said.

"Whatever" grandma replied, rolling her eyes. "What about the dad? You didn't mention anything."

"She divorced from her husband last year. Well, they actually are still divorcing, there is nothing official. But they went their separate ways a year ago."

"A divorce lawyer getting divorced. Funny" grandad said.

"Getting a divorce is never funny. Especially when there is a child involved. How is she dealing with it?"

"Julia is ok. Her dad also is a lawyer, so she is used to only seeing him from time to time."

"That is so sad... But what happened? Why did they get a divorce?"

"You are so noisy" grandad chuckled.

"I just want to know who is the woman my granddaughter is working for!"

"And knowing the reason why she got a divorce is important because..."

"Because!" she said. 

"I don't know why she is divorcing from her husband. We don't know each other that well just yet" I shrugged. Which was a lie. Lucy and I had instantly connected and shared all our dramas with each other.

"Anyway, let's talk about more important things" grandad said before grandma could ask anything else. "You are coming to the game tomorrow, aren't you?"

"It is your birthday present, grandad. Of course I am." He's been an Arsenal fan since he was a little kid, and every time my father allowed it, he would take me to one of their games. Tomorrow they are playing against one of the big ones, Manchester City, and he wants me to go with him. I don't follow football that much, but I always enjoy going to the games and spending some time just the two of us.

"Oh, yes. And Robert is taking his grandson with him too. When was the last time you saw Harry?" grandma asked.

Harry... The grandson of my grandad's best friend, the one they've wanted me to marry since we both were kids, and also the one who tried to kiss me the last time we saw each other, getting a punch on the nose as an answer. 

"I can't remember when I last saw him" I lied.

"Well, I'm sure he is looking forward to seeing you" grandma said. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"This can't be your granddaughter!" Robert said when we met outside the Emirates Stadium. "Where did the girl with the pigtails go?"

"Hi" I said. I think I haven't worn pigtails since I was three, but oh well. "Harry."

"Hello" he replied, not meeting my eyes. It looked like what had happened during our last encounter definitely still was in his head. Good. Now he probably knew what happens when someone tells you no and you insist.

"Let's go inside, shall we?" grandad said. "Today is a big day, we'll probably have to wait longer than usual at the queue."

Once inside the stadium, we were seated next to the benches, getting to see the players very close, especially when walking in and out of the tunnel.

"Ah, look at this atmosphere" grandad said. "Those City boys aren't used to something like this back home, are they, Robert?"

"They definitely aren't" he replied, both men starting to laugh.

"But at least they win something" Harry said under his breath. Since he was sitting next to me, I was the only one who heard him. 

"Who do you truly support?" I whispered.

"Chelsea. But don't tell my grandad, it'll break his heart."

"Your secret is safe with me. You know I'm really good at that."

"Yeah..." he replied, his ears turning bright red. 

The first half of the game was just City attacking and Arsenal trying to defend themselves, somehow making it to the half-time with no goals on any side. As the players started walking towards the tunnel, there was one that caught my attention, one that was arguing with another teammate. Before he disappeared, he looked up, our eyes meeting just for a brief moment, and I could swear I had seen him before. But where? On tv? Online? There was something too familiar about him to be just a complete stranger.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Harry said.

"What?"

"You are completely gone, definitely thinking about something."

"It's just that a City player looked familiar. I guess I've seen him somewhere before."

"Maybe out in Manchester? You live in the same city."

"I don't think these guys and I visit the same places" I chuckled.

"You never know."

"Anyway, I'm going to the bathroom. Grandad, do you want a drink or something?"

"I'm fine. Thank you, darling."

When I made it back, the second half had already started.

"Which player looked familiar?" Harry asked me when I sat down.

"I don't know. A tall one, brown hair. He was arguing with another one that looked tiny next to him.”

"Dias?"

"Uh? Why are you speaking in Spanish?"

"That's his name. Well, his last name. When City came out, he turned around and looked to where we are sitting with a confused look. Maybe he also recognized you."

"Nah, that's impossible. Someone probably insulted him and that's why he looked like that."

I had never met a City player, had I? Someone would have told me, they supposedly are superstars.  

The game obviously ended with City winning but just by one goal, and grandad and Robert seemed to be very proud about it. We were still on our seats, waiting until most people had left the stadium, when I found myself looking again at the player from the first half. He was giving some interviews, and the way he was standing while talking, made him look even more familiar. Who was this stupidly handsome man? Because he was handsome. And hot. Very hot. His t-shirt was sticking to his body, letting you see his very defined abs and pectorals. And his arms... His arms were the size of my head. 

When he finished talking, he smiled at the reporter before saying goodbye, and it clicked. 

"No way" I gasped.

"What?" Harry said next to me. 

"Who is he?" I asked, nodding towards the City player.

"Oh, that's the one I told you was looking this way. Dias."

"But you said that's his last name, right? What's his name?"

"Rúben. Rúben Dias."

Rúben. My Chris Evans. The hot neighbour. It was him. He was a fucking football player. And not any player, no. A Manchester City one. And now he was looking at us, at me, trying to figure out why I also looked familiar. 

"He's looking at us again" Harry said. "Are you sure you don't know each other?"

"We..." But before I was able to say that we didn't, Rúben was smiling and waving at me. And I was waving back, also smiling. But while he gave me a cute smile, I probably was smiling like an idiot or with the ugliest grin.

"You were saying..." 

"I don't know him. I just waved back because..."

"He's hot" Harry said.

"Yes. That's exactly why. Wouldn't you have done the same with a hot girl?"

"Maybe... But are you really sure you don't know each other?"

"I'm really sure, Harry. Stop asking."

"Ok" he said, definitely not believing me.

"Alright kids, ready to leave? I'm starving" grandad said.

"Ready" I replied. Anything to stop Harry from asking more questions, and to stop me from thinking about the fact that Rúben, the neighbour, actually was Rúben Dias, Manchester City player and football star.

[ysmtttty]

Red Ferrari

Chapter 10

Summary: Azris AU, where Azriel is a mechanic and has his own service station. One day, Eris comes there because something is wrong with his car

AO3 link Chapter 9 Chapter 11

Flipping through the emails in his phone, Eris waited for Azriel to return with their ordered coffee, which the courier should have brought, judging by his GPS in the delivery app.

Surprisingly, Morrigan still hadn't contacted him, maybe she was still searching for a new lawyer. Eris wasn't sure, but he suspected that most people were now cautious about becoming her attorney, since dealing with her had proven to be a doomed endeavor, and many had come to realize this even more.

Now that he and Azriel had seemingly cleared everything up and he had earned forgiveness, the realization of the problem with Keir hit him hard. According to the terms, Eris had to ensure that his father would agree to support whatever conditions were part of their deal, the details of which he hadn't been allowed to fully grasp over the years.

There were many problems with this, but the main one was that he really didn’t want to deal with Beron, especially over someone like Keir with his threats. Eris would have loved to tell both of them to go to hell and leave the country. Maybe start over somewhere where they wouldn't find him. But his loved ones were still here, and Beron definitely wouldn’t hesitate to threaten him through his mother. Keir, even more so.

And yet, he would have to call his father, maybe even persuade him. Eris hated such situations, always trying to avoid them entirely. A couple of times, Beron had been threatened through him, and it had turned out very badly for those daring idiots. However, something told Eris that this time it wouldn’t be so simple.

Why the hell did Beron even agree to this wedding scheme, which hardly promised him much profit?

Eris stared at the phone screen for a long time, his finger hovering over the call button. He didn’t want to hear that voice, didn’t want to let Beron know he needed his help—even if calling it help was a stretch considering that without dear old dad, Eris wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place—and he absolutely didn’t want Beron to know that Keir had threatened his life. Again—nothing good could come from that other than a bloody mess.

Still, he treated this conversation like ripping off a band-aid—the faster, the better.

One ring, two, five. Maybe he shouldn’t have called in the morning. Who knows, the old bastard might’ve decided to sleep in, after all, given his age…

"Eris?" came a gruff voice. Eris just gripped the phone tighter, reminding himself that his father was hundreds of kilometers away.

"Father," he greeted as politely as possible. "I'm calling about business."

Beron might have been disappointed in him if he had called just to ask how things were going.

"Speak," Beron said, getting straight to the point.

"Keir wants to be sure that you will uphold your end of the deal after my divorce from Morrigan," Eris explained bluntly, lacking the strength or desire to play mind games or figure out how to word it more softly or advantageously. This was also the first time he had confidently informed his father that he would definitely be getting a divorce. The divorce was now a fact.

"And what am I supposed to do with the information about his desires?"

Eris rolled his eyes. Of course, why make life easier with a simple “okay, son, I got it,” when he could continue acting like a self-proclaimed jerk.

"Confirm that you’re in."

"And why do you think I’m in?" A pause, during which Eris reminded himself that he had bought this phone two weeks ago and throwing it against the wall now would be stupid. Especially considering what happened the last time he went a whole day without a phone. "What did Keir do?"

"He kindly delivered that message," Eris replied sarcastically.

"Eris," Beron’s voice carried a warning. Eris thanked all the gods that this man wasn’t in the same room with him right now, because otherwise, this would have been unbearable. "I’ll get in touch with him."

And he hung up.

Eris still didn’t know if he felt relief or irritation, but at least it was something. At least now he didn’t have to worry about getting killed somewhere in an alley or, again, in his own parking lot.

He wondered where Azriel was with the coffee. Reluctantly, he got up from the bed, put on some lounge pants, and went to look for his mechanic.

"Finally!" a voice greeted him, belonging to someone who wasn’t Azriel at all. "You really do look terrible."

Eris glanced at Lucien, who was lounging on his couch with a cup of coffee that suspiciously resembled the one they had ordered from the nearby café.

"What are you doing here?" Eris asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"You didn’t know he was coming?" Azriel asked, leaning against the wall. Eris looked at him and raised a questioning eyebrow when he saw that Azriel was wearing his robe. Not that he minded. "I grabbed the first thing I saw when he came in," Azriel nodded toward Lucien.

"I wish I could unsee that," Eris’s younger brother shook his head.

"A question for both of you," Eris looked at his brother, "what the hell are you doing here?" then at Azriel, "and why did you open the door without putting anything on?"

Azriel shrugged. "I was going to throw on a robe, but I didn’t have time before he opened the door—he had keys."

"It doesn’t matter," Lucien interrupted. "I wanted to say that you’re coming with me and Jurian to your house in the countryside. And I suspect it’s a brotherly bond that made me feel so strongly that you’d been beaten up here."

"I’m fine, thanks for the concern. Why do you have my coffee, and why are you making decisions about my country house?"

"Because I conveniently ran into your courier, who asked me to unlock the elevator for him, and when I found out the floor, I said I’d deliver it myself," Lucien shamelessly drank one of the coffees. Azriel held out the other to Eris in silence, who gratefully took it, took a few sips, and handed it back. "Nice that you two made up, very happy for you. But this wasn’t how I wanted to find out about it."

"Knock next time," Azriel advised.

"Put on some pants next time," Lucien retorted.

"The house, Lucien," Eris reminded him of his earlier question.

"You clearly needed to relax. I thought I’d turn this into a bachelor party to cheer you up and distract you from... well, now it doesn’t matter," he glanced at Azriel, who was watching all of this with barely concealed amusement. "But now I can tell Jurian that he can bring Vassa, and I’ll bring Elain, because, Azriel, wouldn’t you like to join us for a weekend in the countryside? Alcohol and food on my generous brother."

"Go to hell," said Eris.

"How convenient that I have no weekend plans," Azriel smiled. Eris shot him a withering look.

"Great," Lucien clapped his hands and stood up. "I’d stay and ask you about this," he circled his finger around Eris’s face, "but I won’t linger here any longer."

"Disappear before I demand the keys back," Eris shook his head.

"I’ll send the details later!" Lucien shouted as he quickly exited the apartment.

As soon as the door closed, Azriel burst out laughing. Eris groaned, clearly not thrilled with his younger brother’s sudden visit.

"You have a house in the countryside?" Azriel asked.

"Yeah, and at least five apartments around the city that I don’t use," Eris waved it off, heading to the kitchen to brew some tea. Damn, he forgot to buy coffee beans for the machine a few days ago. "Didn’t think you were a nature fan."

"I was kindly invited," Azriel smiled, approaching him from behind and hugging his waist, his nose buried in Eris’s neck as Eris tried to make tea. "Besides, your younger brother is funny. But how did you end up in his circle of friends? You seem like you’re from different age groups."

"Mutual acquaintances," Eris sighed, enjoying the small kisses Azriel left on his skin. "Jurian was initially my client, back when I was just starting out, and few people trusted me with their business. He trusted me. He hired me as his lawyer for several years, and very often, so we somehow became friends. And he is dating Vassa, Lucien’s friend and his girlfriend’s."

He turned around and kissed Azriel on the lips, who ran his hands over Eris’s chest with the same almost irritating caution as yesterday. Eris couldn’t get upset because normal people don’t usually get mad at their partner for caring about them.

"I forgot to ask yesterday, are we dating?" Eris asked.

"Yes, we’re dating," Azriel nodded and kissed him again.

Azriel left closer to noon after Eris received the fifth message in the tenants' chat about the concern over a smashed Volvo being left in their parking lot.

The rest of the day Eris spent working, wanting to finish everything in advance so he wouldn’t be distracted tomorrow, since they were apparently going with Lucien and his squad of friends. It was strange. But not the strangest thing happening in his life right now, so he could turn a blind eye and think, "shit happens."

A couple of document filings, a trip to the office to sign some papers, and waving off questions about the bruises. Eris expertly lied, saying he had taken up boxing in his spare time to relieve stress. No one suspected a lie since many people in his position did the same.

After what happened yesterday, Eris was twice as cautious in his movements. He constantly looked around, but the feeling of being watched had vanished. Eris now trusted his intuition twice as much, but since no danger was felt—or possibly it seemed like it because of his overwhelming exhaustion from all this chaos—he decided to allow himself to relax a little.

It might have been ideal to spend some time away from the city. It wouldn't provide a miracle of salvation, but it would allow him to mentally exhale and regain strength. Far from the bustle, stress, and divorce.

His lawyer wrote to him saying he had sent Morrigan another copy of the property division agreement. Eris replied that she wasn't in a position to represent herself at the moment and asked him to focus on more pressing matters, not wanting to waste one of his firm's best employees on this nightmare.

By the evening, Lucien sent him a picture from the store with a full cart of food, drinks, bags of charcoal, and more, with the price for all this luxury added below. He also mentioned that he and his friends had chipped in, and Eris just needed to pay for his share.

Knowing these idiots, Eris didn’t need to be a genius to realize they probably hadn’t even paid for half of it. Nonetheless, he sent the money. Better now for them than later regretting it being spent on Morrigan’s designer clothes if she takes what she wanted.

His father hadn’t reached out again. It both scared and relieved him at the same time. Eris wasn’t sure yet whether he wanted to hear "you can rest easy, Keir won’t bother you" because, on the one hand, he wanted it to be true, but on the other, it might mean Keir was lying in a ditch somewhere.

Late in the evening, Eris returned to his empty apartment, loosened his tie, and sighed heavily. These had been crazy days, and his body still ached from all the bruises, while fatigue continued to weigh him down. He only had enough energy to drink some coffee—thankfully, he had finally found the time to buy it at the store—and pass out because caffeine had somehow stopped keeping him awake. The problem might have been the non-stop hours of work, but Eris refused to believe that. It hadn't been such a big issue before, so why should it be now?

The next morning, his younger brother and friends, along with Azriel, burst into his apartment. Why the hell they all gathered this early and at his place was unclear. Eris seriously considered taking Lucien's keys because he preferred to start his morning with coffee, not a meeting with a bunch of students and Jurian. He had no complaints about Azriel’s presence.

“Haven’t seen you in a while,” Jurian said, and despite Eris’s protests, gave him a tight hug. Eris wrinkled his nose, pretending not to enjoy the moment at all, while Azriel silently laughed at him from the hallway.

They were all dressed similarly today—sweatpants, hoodies, and jackets. Azriel in a leather jacket was a sight for sore eyes, and Eris wished they were alone so he could say that out loud.

“Yeah, it’s been a while,” Eris awkwardly patted Jurian’s back, and only then did he let go, smiling cheerfully.

“Lucien said you got into a fight. Didn’t think you could even do that. Back in the day, you should’ve at least hired people to take revenge,” Jurian noted, eyeing his bruises as if he had studied medicine enough to make any conclusions. Jurian had dropped out of medical school after the first year, so his medical knowledge was about the same as the average person’s—close to zero. Eris just waved him off, along with the very valid comment about hiring people.

“No questions about my face,” Eris shook his head. “I’m fine.”

“Clearly,” Vassa remarked sarcastically. Eris just rolled his eyes and ignored her.

He and Vassa were on friendly terms. Every time Jurian invited him out for a drink, it ended with him calling her to pick Jurian up. In the early years, they were all still very young—Eris had just graduated, and Jurian had three citizenships and two restraining orders, which later required legal services. In celebration, he’d always bring out Cuban cigars—genuinely brought from Cuba—and order expensive drinks, back when Eris didn’t know he’d be the one paying at the end of the night.

In short, they had a wild youth, which Vassa didn’t like. Of course, over time she got used to Eris and realized that since he and Jurian were such good friends, she’d have to put up with him. A couple of years ago, Eris didn’t make that task easier for her, continuing to be an arrogant bastard and treating everyone outside his close circle like dirt—or so it seemed to most. Eris himself thought he didn’t treat people that way, and never had—he simply didn’t care enough to treat anyone poorly. Vassa strongly disagreed.

“Get out of the apartment,” Eris gestured, waving them towards the door. Lucien rolled his eyes and muttered about how Eris wasn’t a morning person, but he took his girlfriend by the arm and led her into the hallway. Jurian slowly followed with Vassa.

Azriel stayed behind, closing the door after them and smirking.

“Nice jacket,” Eris noted, running his hand up Azriel’s arm to his shoulder.

“You look good too. Sometimes I forget you own anything besides your suffocating suits and dozens of ties,” Azriel remarked sarcastically.

“It’s called style, but I doubt someone who wears dirty overalls and tank tops could understand.”

For that comment, he earned a quiet laugh and an eye roll.

“Are you still sure you want to go?” Eris asked, looking at him with exaggerated exhaustion. “We can still ditch them and stay here together.”

“Jurian and Lucien have been bragging the whole time about how great they are at grilling meat, and forgive me, but I’d sell my soul for good meat,” Azriel smiled so simply that it made Eris want to scream. Why did someone like him have to fall into his life?

“I can order the best restaurant steak if it’ll make you ditch these idiots and stay here with me,” Eris said, stepping closer. Azriel kissed him quickly, still smiling.

“And they also mentioned you have dogs, and I’d love to see them too.”

“Did they tell you that Jurian will be telling pirate-style stories? Or that those two lovebirds will be playing guitars and singing serenades? Or about the swarms of mosquitoes? Those are serious oversights,” Eris shook his head, but Azriel just laughed.

“I have experience enduring serenades, trust me,” he replied, kissing Eris again. Eris returned the kiss, burying his hand in Azriel’s hair and pulling him closer. “The rest is tolerable. Let’s go. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about this group in a few minutes, it’s that they’re impatient.”

Eris groaned internally but quickly grabbed what he needed and followed Azriel. They opened the door just as Jurian raised his fist, ready to bang on it. Giving him a judgmental look, Eris led them to the parking lot.

As it turned out, Azriel had come in his car, and since they couldn’t all fit into one, Eris and he drove together while the other four rode in Vassa’s car. It was quite a long drive, as it was an isolated spot far from the city.

“I still think they won’t be offended if we turn around without warning,” Eris muttered, watching Vassa’s car overtake them, speeding ahead over the bumps.

“I don’t think you’re that against it,” Azriel laughed. “You’re just being dramatic. Besides, your younger brother is right—you need to unwind. As do I.”

The rest of the way, they drove with the radio on and didn’t talk much. Azriel hummed along to the songs, while Eris, like the lovesick idiot he was, listened intently, pretending not to pay attention, though he very much did.

When they arrived, Azriel’s eyes widened in disbelief. They were greeted by a huge three-story house with a tall fence and grounds at least three times the size of any other house around.

“You know, when I heard ‘country house,’ I was expecting, well, you know, a little cottage, something between a house and a shack. But definitely not this.”

Eris just laughed as he got out of the car to open the massive gates and let Azriel drive in and park. Loud barking, Jurian’s swearing, and female laughter immediately reached them.

As soon as Azriel got out of the car and heard it, he frowned a little and followed Eris. When they reached the source of the sound, they saw Jurian surrounded by six dogs, barking actively at him. But the moment they sensed Eris and heard his whistle, their attention shifted, and the whole pack ran toward him.

The aggressive barking turned into a happy one as several dogs stood on their hind legs, jumping on him and wagging their tails. Azriel watched all this with fascination and pleasant surprise because seeing Eris like this was rare. Sure, he made him laugh sometimes, definitely made him smile, but this joy on his face was something special. Different and utterly unique.

One of the dogs did eventually notice Azriel, and he saw how Lucien tensed up, already taking a few steps toward him, clearly intending to intervene if the dog turned aggressive toward the stranger. However, the dog simply leaned its front paws on Azriel’s torso and gave a happy bark. Azriel stroked the furry head and smirked as he looked up at the shocked faces of everyone around. Even Eris seemed surprised.

"Unbelievable!" Jurian exclaimed indignantly. "I’ve been coming here for years, bringing them the best food, and they still hate me. But he shows up, and they’re practically kissing him—" At that moment, the dog licked Azriel’s face, causing him to grimace and laugh. "Yep, even kissing him! This is just absurd!"

Jurian continued ranting about the unfairness of the world, while Azriel petted the friendly, large dog. Soon, other furry friends joined him.

“I’m starting to feel a bit jealous,” Eris quietly remarked, so only Azriel could hear.

“Of whom exactly?” Azriel asked with a grin, looking up at Eris while the dogs happily swarmed him. “Me or them?”

“Take a guess,” Eris grumbled. “Astra, come here,” he called one of the dogs, and although she seemed reluctant to leave Azriel’s side, she eventually went to him. Eris petted her, scratching behind her ear, which made her tail wag even more energetically. “My most unfriendly hound,” he said. “Once bit Jurian so badly he had to go to the hospital for stitches. I’ve never seen her be this nice to a stranger.”

Azriel realized Astra was the first dog that had taken an interest in him. Eris’s words puzzled him a bit, but also filled him with a sense of pride and satisfaction.

“Good girl,” Eris praised Astra as she followed one of his commands. He whistled, and the other dogs also left Azriel alone, giving him some peace.

“Who takes care of them while you’re in the city?” Azriel asked as they walked toward the kennel, with the dogs obediently following Eris.

“I have people for that,” Eris shrugged. “They’ve been looking after my dogs since I was a kid, so I pay them to keep doing it now. I don’t get to come here often, so they live in the guest house on the property. Of course, we always let them know if we’re coming, and they usually leave for that time.”

“Isn’t it sad to leave them for so long?”

“It’s not like I’m crying without them,” Eris scoffed, though when he turned to look at his loyal companions, something soft flickered in his gaze. “But I used to be here more often. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll quit and move here for good.”

Azriel couldn’t help but imagine it. He and Eris in this country house—Azriel tinkering with his motorcycle in the garage for the thousandth time, while Eris wandered around the property grumbling about the dogs trampling the flowerbeds, only to later pretend he didn’t enjoy playing with them.

Damn. That was too far, too reckless to imagine their future like that. If they weren’t already outside, Azriel would’ve needed to step out for some fresh air.

“You okay?” Eris asked, apparently noticing the change in his expression. “I hope you’re not allergic to dogs to the point where you’ll die, because the hospital’s far, and I’d rather not have to bury a body in the backyard.”

“How sweet of you to think of me,” Azriel replied sarcastically. “How often do you bury bodies back there?”

“More often than I’d like,” Eris smirked, playing along.

Astra barked happily again, nuzzling her nose into Azriel’s palm.

“Someone’s being extra affectionate today,” Eris noted.

“You really are jealous,” Azriel teased. Eris only rolled his eyes and shook his head.

While they were playing with the dogs, the others moved the groceries from the car into the house. Elain and Vassa busied themselves in the kitchen, preparing salads and snacks, while Lucien and Jurian rummaged through the garage, looking for the grill and dragging it outside.

Azriel, in the meantime, tried to remember the names of the hounds and learn to tell them apart.

“I swear, these three are identical,” he muttered. While some of the dogs were distinguishable by unique spots on their fur or ear shapes, three hounds looked absolutely identical.

“You’ll learn to tell them apart by their behavior,” Eris calmly responded, petting one of the identical hounds.

“How did you choose their names?” Azriel asked out of curiosity, tossing a ball he found on the property for the dogs to chase. “Astra, Ember, Lyra, those make sense. But Stormbringer?”

“I was fourteen,” Eris shrugged. “He’s the oldest of them all—I named the others when I was a bit older. But back then, I wanted a dramatic, cool name. And look at this rascal,” a soft smile touched his lips as he scratched behind the ear of the coal-black hound. “He’s totally a Stormbringer.”

Azriel chuckled, reaching out to scratch Stormbringer’s ears as well. The dog leaned into his touch, eyes closing in contentment. “I guess he does look like a Stormbringer,” Azriel admitted, watching the hound’s calm demeanor.

Eris gave a soft laugh, almost nostalgic. “He was a bit of a terror when he was younger. Used to chew up anything he could find—furniture, shoes, you name it. But he’s mellowed out a lot. Still, the name stuck.”

“Was he your first dog?”

“No, there were others,” Eris replied quietly. “I’ve had dogs for as long as I can remember. Originally, they belonged to my mother, but once she noticed how much I loved them, we somehow convinced my father to keep them all. Growing up with them… it was hard to lose them.”

Azriel placed a hand on his shoulder, then moved it to his cheek. Eris leaned into the touch.

“Sorry, this was supposed to be a lighthearted conversation, no depressing stuff,” Eris muttered, closing his eyes as if mentally scolding himself for the somber turn.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Azriel said softly.

“At some point, the hounds were the only ones around,” Eris glanced at the dogs playing on the lawn, chasing the ball and trying to steal it from one another. “So it hit harder when they were gone.”

Azriel didn’t press further, and Eris didn’t continue, instead grabbing Azriel’s hand and kissing his knuckles.

Later, they helped Elain and Vassa carry the food outside, setting the table in one of the three gazebos scattered around the yard. Lucien and Jurian were still standing by the grill, now handling the meat and arguing about whether to add more coals or leave them as they were, in fear of burning everything.

Eris’s hounds ran around Jurian, barking at him, and Azriel suspected they just enjoyed scaring him. They seemed to do it with some kind of amusement, and Eris watched with the same amusement, making no move to call them off, allowing the dogs to torment Jurian to the brink of a nervous breakdown.

“They’re going to bite him,” Vassa shook her head. Elain watched the dogs curiously—Eris’s hounds never seemed to bother her either. But Eris had simply remarked that Elain was like a Disney princess, with a magical connection to animals, which is why they left her alone. Lucien had long complained that dogs hadn’t accepted even him right away but once they saw Elain, they all suddenly became so cuddly and soft.

“Only if he deserves it,” Eris replied, turning away from Jurian to glance at his phone. A few emails still awaited his response.

“You know they don’t need a reason,” Vassa continued.

“They need a reason. So, if Jurian wants to keep his limbs intact, he’ll just avoid teasing them like last time,” Eris grinned sarcastically. Azriel suppressed a laugh.

He watched the exchange with a faint smile on his face, noting how the dynamic between them all seemed so easy and natural. It was a rare sight to see Eris so relaxed, even playful, as he teased Vassa and kept a watchful eye on his dogs. The whole scene felt almost like a family gathering, where everyone had their roles to play, even if some involved scaring poor Jurian half to death.

"Eris, please," Vassa said with a playful reproach, though a hint of concern crept into her voice. Meanwhile Elain arranged vegetables on plates, occasionally glancing toward the guys as if to make sure the dogs weren’t bothering Lucien.

“It’s fine,” Eris said, not looking up from his phone, waving a hand dismissively. “It’s weird for him to be scared of dogs at his age. He’s a big boy; he’ll manage. Until there’s another fire, I’m not calling the dogs off.”

“Another fire?” Azriel asked with curiosity and amusement. Elain giggled in response.

“It’s almost a yearly tradition,” she explained. “Don’t tell them, but we keep track of how often it’s Lucien’s fault versus Jurian’s.”

“Don’t forget, you’re part of that competition too,” Vassa smirked, handing a plate of snacks to Azriel, who eagerly took it and, for some reason, served both himself and Eris, who wasn’t paying attention while typing something on his phone.

Azriel raised an eyebrow at Vassa’s words. Elain shrugged lightly. “There was that one time the oven malfunctioned, and the brownies caught fire. Hardly a real fire.”

The four of them turned again toward Jurian’s outraged shouts as he cursed Eris for not calming down his monsters. Eris pretended not to hear, while Vassa shook her head, Elain giggled quietly behind her hand, and Azriel and Lucien watched with open amusement as Jurian flailed his arms, trying to defend himself.

“They’re just playing,” Lucien said through laughter, but Jurian flipped him off, told him to fuck off, and continued to ward off the fluffy beasts.

The dogs eventually tired of their game with Jurian and settled down near the table, clearly content to be around their human companions. Azriel bent down and petted one of the hounds, who responded to the affection by nuzzling her nose into his hand, as if asking for more.

“Why don’t you scold Azriel for spoiling your dogs?” Vassa teased with a smirk.

Eris glanced from Azriel to the dogs, then to her, shrugging. Elain whispered something to Vassa about double standards as she knelt down to scratch one of the dogs behind the ear.

“I don’t understand why I trust my ass to you,” Jurian grumbled as he returned to the table, sitting next to Vassa while Lucien stayed by the grill. “You can’t even save me when I need it most.”

“Funny, I thought you knew I save asses for money,” Eris replied with a smirk.

As Jurian continued to curse at him and the hounds barked from their spots, clearly unhappy with the insults directed at their master, Azriel stood up and walked over to Lucien, intending to help him now that Jurian had left.

Not that keeping an eye on the meat was a monumental task, but it always felt right when more than one person was in charge of it. Lucien chuckled as he watched Jurian try not to hide behind Vassa whenever Eris’s dogs barked at him, and he looked at his girlfriend with a special tenderness as she shooed the dogs away from Jurian, even though she was laughing the whole time.

“Thanks for coming,” Lucien suddenly said, surprising Azriel as he turned to face him. “Eris hasn’t gone anywhere with us for a long time, and lately, he’s been more of a bastard-lawyer than himself.”

“Are you implying this cliché that I bring out the best in him?” Azriel asked with a teasing smile.

“Oh no, he’s still a bastard, even with you around,” Lucien laughed. “But… as cliché as it sounds, he’s happier now. Even if it’s not immediately obvious through all the sarcasm and snark. There’s a subtle difference you have to know to notice.”

“I’m glad,” Azriel said quietly, his smile softening as he glanced over at Eris. “Really glad.”

“I’d love to play the protective sibling and say something like ‘don’t hurt my brother,’ but I doubt I could ever top the speech Nesta gave me when she found out I was dating her middle sister,” Lucien shook his head, and Azriel chuckled.

The rest of the evening passed in a blur of food, drinks, and stories about everything under the sun, especially since Azriel was the new face in the group, and Jurian and Lucien were particularly eager to tell him as much as possible in one night.

As morning approached, the group started to trickle back into the house, leaving Azriel and Eris as the last ones outside. Eris had fallen asleep, resting his head on Azriel’s shoulder, and Azriel remained because he was trapped—two hounds lay at his feet, snoring peacefully, while another lay on the bench beside him, with her head resting on his lap. And then there was Eris, who had dozed off against him.

The task of extracting himself without waking anyone turned into a bit of a challenge, taking Azriel longer than expected to figure out how to manage it. Eris eventually stirred, mumbling something incoherent. But it was impossible to take his drunken, sleepy grumbling seriously, so Azriel just smiled and helped him inside.

“Left door to the right,” Eris muttered.

“I don’t think that’s useful information,” Azriel remarked, realizing there couldn’t possibly be a left door on the right.

“Smartass.”

Laughing quietly, Azriel found an empty bedroom and decided to stay there as well. Not that he was keen on wandering around the dark house in search of another room. Plus, the prospect of staying with Eris was far more appealing. So, after undressing and settling under the blanket, Azriel comfortably wrapped his arms around Eris from behind, pressing his nose into the crook of his neck and inhaling the scent of alcohol, charcoal, and that now-familiar cologne.

tag list: @sizzlingstarlightsky @isnotwhatyourethinking @molcat07 @chairofchaos @lilah-asteria

[the-offside-rule]

Martin Ødegaard (Arsenal FC) - Pinnekjøtt

Christmas [From The Vault]

In the quaint city of Dramen, the snow fell gently on Christmas Eve as Martin prepared to share the magic of his homeland's traditions with his girlfriend, Y/n. His childhood home was decprated with twinkling lights and the scent of freshly baked gingerbread filled the air, just as it did when he was a child. Y/n had to fly out a little later as she wanted to spend time with her family before coming to Norway for the few days. This whole idea only happened because Martin was talking about something and Y/n didn't know what it was.

"I'm thinking of making pinnekjøtt." He announced as Y/n walked in from work. Her eyebrows scrunched together in a confused look. "What?" She asked. "Pinnekjøtt. You know it's like lamb? The- the-" He paused pointing to his ribs. "Lamb ribs?" Martin nodded. "Yes, very tasty." He smiled. "Never had it before." He was almost shocked, but then realised they hadn't really gone to Norway at all. His parents had come over to visit and the only time she really went was when the national team would be playing games while she wasn't at uni. "It's nice, but it's way better over in Norway when you get the actual stuff you need."

"So how about we visit Norway?" Y/n suggested. "Well, Im going for Christmas. I don't know if you want to come considering your family is here." Martin said. "I really don't mind. You have been here for a good few Christmases, why shouldn't I go visit your home country with you?" He thought about it. It was a brilliant idea, but would it work out? It might be too much, it might not be enough! We'll, there was only one way to find out.

As Y/n entered the home, having to  Martin greeted her with a warm smile. "Velkommen til Norge, my love. Get ready to experience a true Norwegian Christmas." He said, his eyes filled with excitement. Y/n smiled and dropped her bags at the door. "Are we just jumping right in with these Christmas traditions?" Y/n asked as she put her scarf up on the coat hanger. "We are. I have so many different things planned." Martin smiled. "Ready?" Y/n clapped her hands together. "Born ready."

They started the evening with the lighting of the advent candles, each flame representing a week leading up to Christmas. "So basically, each candle is lit I church with each week that passes leading up to Christmas. I- Y/n, are you listening to me?" He asked. Y/n was fascinated as he spoke, and it came across as her not listening but it was farthest from the truth. "No, I am. I think I'm just tired and your voice sounds a lot like ASMR right now." Martin chuckled. "Well how about we move on, how's that?" He asked. Y/n shrugged. "It's up to you. You're my tour guide almost."

Martin led her to the fireplace and the couple sat together as they sipped on warm gløgg, a spiced mulled wine. Y/n couldn't help but chuckle as she struggled to pronounce the name correctly. Martin laughed, "Don't worry, even I find it tricky sometimes." Y/n took a sip. "It's nice though." Y/n smiled. "I don't want you to feel rushed, but I haven't put the tree up yet so I say we decorate and drink while we do it."

Martin handed Y/n a delicate Norwegian ornament, sharing stories of his childhood and the memories attached to each decoration. As they hung ornaments on the Christmas tree, Martin couldn't help but steal glances at Y/n. "What are you staring at?" Y/n asked  as she caught Martin a few times. "You make everything look even more beautiful, Y/n." Martin smiled. Y/n grinned, playfully placing a bauble on Martin's nose. "Well, you're not too shabby yourself, Mr. Ødegaard. Our tree is lucky to have us." They shared a laugh, exchanging warmth amid the winter chill. Martin reached for mistletoe. "Guess what this means?" He smiled as he lifted the white berries over their heads. "You're going to steal a Christmas kiss, aren't you?" Y/n smiled contently as she reached around his neck. "Guilty as charged." He chuckled and pecked her lips gently. As they hung ornaments together, their laughter echoed through the apartment.

The aroma of pinnekjøtt wafted from the kitchen, and Y/n was eager to try this traditional Norwegian dish. "Is this what you were on about back home?" Y/n asked. "It is." Martin, donned in a festive sweater, served the dish with a side of raspeballer. "It's not Christmas without pinnekjøtt." he declared with a grin.

After the hearty meal, they bundled up in warm coats and scarves to venture outside. he couldn't help but admire the way the flakes settled in her hair. "Isn't the snow magical?" Je remarked, his eyes reflecting the joy he felt.

Y/n grinned. "Absolutely! It's like we're in a winter wonderland." She took his hand, feeling the warmth despite the cold surroundings. Martin chuckled and squeezed her hand. "You make everything magical, Y/n." He said. "You sap, come on!" They continued their walk, sharing anecdotes and laughter, creating a cocoon of happiness. Spotting a snow-covered bench, Martin walked over. "Let's sit for a while." He suggested. They snuggled close, and watched as the snow gently drifted to the ground. "You're my favorite Christmas gift." Martin whispered, taking Y/n by surprise. Blushing, Y/n replied; "You're mine too, Martin." They exchanged sweet nothings, the snowflakes adding a poetic touch to their love-filled conversations.

the starlit sky, they strolled through the snow-covered landscape, hand in hand. Y/n couldn't stop marveling at the serene beauty around her. "We should head back now before we freeze to death." Martin said, standing up and heading back home eith Y/n hooked to his arm.

On their way to return to the apartment, Martin suggested making a visit to the local church for the midnight service. "We do that at home too. Do you usually go when I'm not heretic?" Y/n asked. "Mama would make us wear our best clothes and go but I do miss it now that I'm obviously grown up." He replied. "Obviously?" Martin squeezed his girlfriend's hand playfully as they walked into the beautiful chapel together. The ethereal hymns echoed through the wooden structure, creating a sense of peace that filled their hearts.

When the church service had finished and everyone had stopped fussing over Martin, the pair made their way back to the apartment. Back at the apartment, Martin thought it was time they exchanged gifts, and Martin handed Y/n a small box. Inside was a handcrafted piece of Norwegian jewelry, a symbol of their shared Christmas memories. "Oh Martin, its beautiful." Y/n felt tears of joy as she hugged him tightly. The couple came apart as they heard the church bells ringing. As the clock struck midnight, they stood together by the window, watching the snowfall. Martin whispered, "God jul, my love." Martin smiled. "God jul, Martin."

In that moment, surrounded by the warmth of love and the enchantment of Norwegian Christmas traditions, Martin Ødegaard and Y/n created a memory that would forever be etched in their hearts.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for kicking someone out of my D&D campaign for reasons not entirely related to the game?

This is long but the context is important I swear.

About a year ago, I (30X) tried to assemble a D&D group with my coworkers. After a whole lot of fucking around, the guy who was going to DM moving across the country, and a bunch of people quitting or getting fired, it ended up being me as the DM, my brother, a few other people who I met through a different campaign, and one guy who used to work with me.

This guy, J (23M), had a lot of personal problems when he worked for us, most of which contributed to him being let go. He had a lot of family issues that led to him missing a lot of work (and I mean A Lot. We have a Very good PTO system for the US that basically amounts to accruing one day off for every 50 hours you work, earning more the longer you stay with the company, and more allowance for attendance infractions than any company I've ever heard of in the states). He also had a lot of interpersonal issues with some of the employees, one in particular, K (21F), with whom he had some kind of situationship. I try not to get involved in work drama, so I don't know all the details.

J also has issues with money, transportation, and depression/suicidal tendencies. I'm not judging him for any of those, as I have experience with them as well, but he has been leaning on me pretty heavily around every time we hang out to play D&D. I would cover his 120$+ Uber rides home, which he would sometimes pay me back but sometimes not (if I couldn't afford it once a month, I wouldn't do it, but he insists he's going to pay me back; since he has lost yet another job I am not expecting it at all and don't hold it against him really, but I do think it's kind of shitty to insist you're going to when you clearly won't be able to), pay for his food, work with my family members to get him home, and let him crash at my house to avoid ordering an Uber. He also messaged me when he was feeling suicidal - bad enough to be institutionalized after I sent him the number for the suicide hotline. Again, no judgement, but it made me uncomfortable because I struggle with the same things. He seemed bothered that I told him I wasn't able to talk him through it, but that may have just been the crisis talking.

After all that, we come to a game session that involves more than just navigating dangerous spaces and fighting off wild animals. The rest of the party does fine, but J really botches the social interaction part, despite everyone telling him what he's doing is a bad idea and me doing my best as a DM to communicate that he should change tactics. He does not change tactics and instead doubles down and goes full murderhobo, which is not the kind of player I'm interested in playing with, something I thought J understood from previous conversations.

My original plan was to say something to the table at our next session about removing themselves from the game if the themes weren't something they were interested in engaging with, but then I get some additional info today about J and K.

Apparently J has been incredibly possessive towards K - someone who, again, he was not dating in any meaningful capacity - for weeks or months, to the point that she has blocked him on social media off and on. And then this past week, J has sent her screenshots of her location, contacted her ex who she still lives with for logistical reasons, made him upset to the point that K thought he was going to kick her out of his apartment, and harassed K's brother to try to get her to talk to him again. K is seriously considering taking out a restraining order against him at this point. J has also been updating his social media to imply that he is going to kill himself.

To say this behavior raises some red flags is an understatement. Clearly J needs help, but as a regular guy, that's really not something I'm able to provide beyond sending mental health hotlines, and I don't feel comfortable being his support system in the way he obviously needs.

All that said, I feel like I might be an asshole for kicking him out of the campaign full stop, because he's been really excited to play this whole time. But the combination of all this really worrisome, potentially dangerous behavior and the mundane reality of him just being a really annoying player kind of has me at my wits end, so, WIBTA?

What are these acronyms?

[mcfallen-god]

Tagged by @zaegreus thanks bestie ✨💜

Do you make your bed?

I often make the bed when I leave for a couple of days, or for a night over, so when I come back home I feel comfy and all hehe.

What’s your favourite number?

Yub, 3

But why? Eh.. The shape? The 'color'? The vibe? Occurrences in my life liked to the three? Idk, just 3 and all the 3 related numbers (33, 333 etc)

What is your job?

Student is not a job, because I am the one losing money, but yeah

If you could go back to school would you?

Probably, I'd like pre-school/middle-school, when I could learn new but easy things lol and I loved the smell and things at my school back then. I'd like to go back in whatever you call that period between 15-18 yo school time, but not for all aspect, let's say I was in a school specialized in art and it was a lot of fun to have a class like that. And for some reason too (but definitely NOT ALL ASPECTS) I'd like to be back to study literature, a part of it...

Can you parallel park?

Yub kinda but I don't like it, and I think it is easier to park on the left part of the road than the right (note: my country drives with wheel on left and road on right)

A job you had that would surprise people?

I didn't had any real job, but maybe the fact I study English literature... Because when I was a kid, until hmm 13/14? I had a deep hatred for English language xD don't ask me why, it is just a fact... This, and me studying literature to begin with, when I barely ever read.. (note: I love to read, but due to other reasons I have a very, very hard time to read even things I really really wanna read :( sed)

Do you think aliens are real?

Sure, but not in the sci-fi kind of way. I think it is absurd to think Earth is the only planet in the infinity of space that met the right conditions for life to develop. But I doubt these forms looks like... humanoid-green/grey skin beings or that they look anything as we know on Earth. I don't even know if there's any 'developed' (in human's terms) form of life, but definitely things that feed and live. (Once again, I doubt they come on Earth with super technology and such... if they do, I really hope they see their mistakes before making first contact and go far far away, before getting involved with the toxic humanity...)

Can you drive a manual car?

Lol of course I can (this question sounds very American oriented question(?) but in my country, manual car is base, we have many non-manuel, but majority is manual) but yeah, I can drive it

What’s your guilty pleasure?

Uh... I don't really know... Some shows? Some I don't even 'like' but more because it reminds me of my youth? (Glee, Ugly Betty, Bones, etc) Idk if it is count as guilty pleasure... If anything else... uh I have unspeakable kinks (only in fictional/role play dimensions, nothing sicko irl), collecting PopMarts figurines? Fried chicken with spicy sauce?? Chocolate biscuit with chips??? I DONT KNOW

Tattoos?

Not yet, I wish to have some one day, but first I need to find *the one* I have many artists/kind of tattoos I like, but eh

Favourite colour?

Green and Purple (mostly all the hues) but also: pale mint, pale yellow, pale peach, pale pink, pale bleu, pale lavender, black, white and orange...)

Favourite type of music?

I literally can enjoy anything, from rock, pop, electronic, classical, ethnic/traditional, etc... I have some issues sometimes with some form of Jazz or RnB, but I still enjoy songs from these genres, so I can't say I hate it... I would say rock is always a go-to?

Do you like puzzles?

Most of the time yeah, if it is like puzzle board game 🧩 or puzzle video games 🎮 or riddle games ❓I love it all (Im not saying I am good at it, I say I like it)

Any phobias?

Won't say it is phobia? But I feel grossed at any .. milling bugs? Like colonies of ants or when baby spiders get out of mother spider 🤢 This and I'd say it is more anxiety, but I have a hard time being in crowded place/windowless places (a bit agoraphobic/ claustrophobic but since I can manage to deal with these situations sometimes, I won't call it phobia)

Favourite childhood sport?

Maybe archery🏹 ? Or hmm basketball 🏀 and badminton🏸 ... And I kinda like to play football ⚽ but the toxicity around that sport is making it annoying and boring

Do you talk to yourself?

Rarely out loud, but pretty often in my own head. I feel dumb when I hear my own voice/sometimes it is even stressful because I grow aware of silence around me after I spoke....

What movie(s) do you adore?

Hmm tough question... Many for many different reasons.. But let's say: Legally Blonde (the vibe and the topic, go girls, can be barbie and have a brain), Princess Mononoke (base), FFVII: Advent Children (thirst), Nanny McPhee (chiiill), Crazy Kung Fu (top tier), Ne Zha (2019) (bery nice), ... That's it for TODAY's pick, what about tomorrow..?

Coffee or tea?

Both but ✨☕C O F F E E☕✨(even if Earl Grey Yin Zhen is honestly DOPE)

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

🤔 Idk which come first, but I remember I had the mad project to do "all my dream jobs at once", so I'd have been: a painter, going around the world with a circus where I'd be acrobat and magician, and yet, using the world-travelling to heal any animals I find on my way 😂🤣

A forever go-to @davi-doo

I tag... *go through mutuals*

@beardedladyqueen @kales09 @chinchilla-7 @astraluxe @general-kalani @alladeline @chromium-siren

PLEASE LEMME KNOW IF I AM PESTERING YOU! I WILL STOP!

[nbmudkip]

wats the guy in ur pfp i am so looking

his name is siffrin and they’re the main character of the game in stars and time!! it came out very recently (nov 23) and i only have it bc my friend gifted it to me because “this game is going to make you so ill. you’re going to get so attached to the characters and kin the protagonist within 45 minutes.” it is. ohhhhhhh mygod it is so good. its so good. i havent been posting about it because im not even done yet (i just made it to the start of act 4 out of 5 today) but it already might be my new top favorite video game. that’s how much i love it

it’s an undertale/omori/oneshot esque rpg where you start the day before your party’s climactic battle against The King, who’s been slowly freezing the entire country of vaugarde in time. things don’t go quite right though. teehee

it’s got a stunning art style, an EXTREMELY engaging and interesting plot which has completely blindsided me multiple times, and some of the best character writing i’ve ever seen, in my life, ever. i got so attached so quickly it almost gave me whiplash, and as you keep playing you keep loving them more and more. also it’s really good at making you think everything’s gonna be okay and then pulling the floor out from under you and it gets worse every time. i love it.

tl;dr in stars and time. aaauuuuugGghhgouGHUHHHHHHHOGGUUUGHH

^ They are EVERYTHING to me

[thewulf]

Interesting || Joel Miller

Summary: I’m craving some more Joel Miller angst to fluff. Hurt/Comfort even? And some Ellie! I haven’t seen much Ellie in your work so maybe her to? Up to you. Timeline set closer to the second game/season... Read Rest Here

A/N: Well... I started playing the second TLOU game and I got to that Abby scene and I'm... a mess. I don't think I can watch the second season of TLOU lmaooo byeee... ANYWAY please enjoy. Heads up - my summer classes are staring up so I'll be slowing way down on my posting for the next 8 weeks. Love you guys!

Pairing: Joel Miller x Y/N

Word Count: 6.5k+

It was cold. So fucking cold. You didn’t have your heavy jacket on you when you had to flee. Running for days. Days turned to nights turned back to days. You had to keep running. Every time you stopped they caught up to you. Hunted. That’s what was going on now. How sick. What a fun world. Hunted for fun at this point.

You kept going until your feet couldn’t physically move anymore. This was it. Hopefully the cold or the hunger took you before they found you. The same group of men who murdered your partner and his girlfriend so easily. Your partner and your good friend not thirty feet from you. Killed as if they weren’t anything. No mercy. Shot right in the chest five time each. You’d been out to use the restroom when they were ambushed. You were saved by mere minutes and a decision.

You’d wanted to scream. The people you’d been traveling the country with after escaping the Austin QZ years prior had been killed so senselessly. They weren’t infected. They weren’t a bother. They weren’t even hunting the area. They were killed for sport. For fun. No use. It’d been nearly twenty years since outbreak days and the horrors that humans committed still never sat right with you. It was so pointless. So senseless. It hurt knowing people were just cruel to be cruel.

It was life or death now. You were standing thirty feet from them and miraculously hadn’t spotted you yet. You took off without another thought. You didn’t have the right boots. You didn’t have the right coat. But this was your only chance. It was either that or get gunned down. As hellish as the world was you had some fucking sick desire to keep living in it. Good old human instinct. Fight to the very end.

You ran until you couldn’t anymore. Until you needed to rest. Finding a tree, you slid down to base of it using the trunk as a pillow. Sleep never came easy before but now? Now it seemed impossible when you were actively being hunted. But you needed it. You had to. So, you tried. Tried your best to get some sleep.

 You felt it before you saw it. Fuck. Maybe you slept longer than you thought you would? How had they caught up to you already? You felt the barrel of some sort of rifle pressed to your temple like you’d felt so many times before. Would this finally be the time a bullet would actually be fired? Your end met?

You were able to turn getting quick look at whomever it was. To your utter surprise it was a girl. A small girl. Not a raider. Maybe just maybe you could talk your way out of this one.

“Who the fuck are you?” She tried to sound intimidating. You knew because you did the exact same. The both of you had to be brash. Aggressive. It was life or death outside the walls of a QZ.

You closed your eyes calculating what the hell to do. Tell her the truth? Lie straight to her face? Try and divert the conversation?

“Where am I?” You asked hearing your voice for the first time in days. It almost sounded foreign to you now.

She scoffed rolling her eyes pushing the gun further into your head, “I asked who the fuck you were.” You closed your eyes slowly feeling he cool metal pushing into the side of your head. She wasn’t going to do it. She didn’t want to do it.

“Y/N. You need to go.” You shivered feeling the effects of the melted snow crawling its way up your jeans. You didn’t have your sleeping bag to shield you between the ground and your clothes.

The barrel of the gun dropped slightly so it wasn’t contacting your head. She must’ve seen the fear in your eyes, “Why would I do that?” She still had the gun pointed at you. You wiggled your legs hoping you’d regain the feeling. You sighed knowing you still wouldn’t make it that far on foot. You were truly gassed.

“I’m being hunted. They’re bound to be here soon kid.” You didn’t feel like elaborating as you closed your eyes leaning your head back on the tree. How had it come to this? How did he die before you? He was the more careful one. He was the more calculated one. He was the one that deserved to live. Not you.

She frowned dropping the gun completely now, “What?”

Eyes opening slightly, you noticed her more relaxed stance, “Some raiders,” You sighed recalling what you’d been through in the last three days. Horror. Definitely your worst three days since outbreak day, “They killed my partner and his girlfriend. I’ve been running from them for a few days. I don’t really know anymore. Every time I think I’ve lost them they catch right back up.” You felt the tears coming on. You’d thought you’d already cried them out over the last three days but apparently not. You would have never of dreamed of crying in front of a stranger like this before. But what’d you have to lose at this point? You’d accepted your death. Who really cared if you cried in front of her. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered anymore.

She groaned suddenly very conflicted, “Fuck.” She threw her rifle over her shoulder, “Stay here.” You nodded seeing her jump on her horse and trot off calling for somebody named Joel.

You smiled knowing it was likely nearing the end for you. She didn’t have the guts to kill you. Not that you blamed her, you wouldn’t either. But you understood the world you now lived in. She had to go get this Joel person to do it. It was fine. You just hoped they would make it quick. Have some mercy on you. The raiders wouldn’t. They would take their time with you since you ran. Maybe it wasn’t the worst option.

You closed your eyes hoping maybe the darkness would take over again. But your wishes didn’t come true when you heard the girl’s voice shout, “Over here.” A much deeper than hers responded with a grunt. Must’ve been the Joel she was calling for.

“Ellie, this is a bad idea. Let’s head back.” You had to agree with him. This was a very bad idea. You tried moving your legs again, but you were left with literally nothing. You knew you weren’t paralyzed because you could feel them. They just didn’t have enough energy to move.

You just knew she was rolling her eyes. She seemed like the type, “Shut up. She’s right over here.” You heard her voice get much closer, “Found ya!” She grinned jumping down from her horse, “Over here old man!” She shouted a little too loudly for your comfort. What if the raiders were close?

“You did.” The smile that crossed your lips was rare. But you knew these would be your last moments anyway. Why not smile? Why not show that human emotion that always wanted to come out but had been refused for decades at this point.

“I brought you these. Well, actually Joel did. But he didn’t need them. You do. So here you go.” She handed you a pile of beef jerky and a bottle of what you assumed to be water.

You took them quickly before looking at her curiously, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Eat up.” She nodded watching you expectedly. You didn’t want to question her, but you had to wonder what the hell she was up to? Maybe they weren’t going to shoot you right then and there.

You shook your head in disbelief. You hadn’t a clue that Joel had been and continued to watch the interaction between the two women before him. Your smile was something like he hadn’t seen in years. It struck a small feeling in his heart as he watched your soft expression study Ellie. He didn’t like that he was thinking these thoughts about you. Last time he let that happen his heart was shattered in an instant when she was bitten. It’s a cruel fucking world he wished he didn’t have to participate in. He’d only looked at you for thirty god damned seconds and you had him questioning everything. What in the hell was wrong with him?

“Why?” You were too curious for you own good.

She shrugged, “Why not?”

You laughed in retort, “I can think of about a million reasons…” Joel smiled enjoying your truthfullness. He knew how sharp you had to be to survive with a partner out in the open let alone by yourself. He didn’t want to be impressed but with each word you spoke he grew a tad more curious.

Ellie stopped you by shaking her head quickly, “Just eat. Are you really arguing about the food right now?” She raised an eyebrow sitting down next to you.

You nodded, “Fair.” Taking a big bite of the jerky not really giving a damn what you looked like. This was everything you needed and more.

“Joel, you can come out now.” Ellie rolled her eyes. You felt a strange solace sitting by the girl. A comfort you rarely felt towards anybody let alone a complete stranger. She was so warm towards you. Unafraid of what you could be capable of. A pure heart.

You watched as the older man slowly approached watching the both of you cautiously. You smiled softly observing his careful nature. You took him in for a moment too long. Eyes making contact on accident you looked away quickly. Making sure to thank Ellie for the food. You knew you wouldn’t make it anywhere without it. Whether she’d admit it or not she literally did save your life.

Even you had to admit he was rather handsome. You’d have guessed he was fifteen or so years older than you. It didn’t mean you couldn’t appreciate what was right in front of you though. I mean come on. He was tall, muscular, gruff, and handsome. So, fucking handsome. It’d been a long time since you’d been able to appreciate a man’s attractiveness, but here you were. Appreciating him. How could you not? The man was everything you could’ve dreamed up.

“Sorry for him. He’s like this normally. Grumpy old dude.” She smiled seeing you devour the second strip. Whether you wanted to admit it or not you were starving, and the jerky strips were delicious.

“You infected?” He asked taking a small, cautious step forward.

You shook your head quickly, “No, I promise I’m not.” You put your hands up when his gun made aim for you. Oddly, you didn’t feel threatened by it. You knew he was doing it for their protection. Again, nothing you wouldn’t do. “Are you alone?” He looked around skeptically as if he didn’t believe your story. Like you’d planned an ambush or something. You didn’t blame him. You’d operated the same way until they got killed. You could never be too careful. You had to laugh to yourself, in a different world the two of you would’ve made amazing partners. You’d agreed with his and her tactics along each step in the overly cautious first meeting.

You nodded your head, “Technically yes. But I am being tracked. Hunted if you will.” You didn’t want to lie to him either. You watched as his hardened face took in your words and softened ever so slightly as he truly registered your words. Hunted. Who would hunt you?

You didn’t give him much time to respond as you went through the same story you told Ellie an hour prior. How the only people you’d loved for so long had been killed so mercilessly. While you were alone you weren’t alone out here. He understood taking a second looking at Ellie before turning back to you.

“Come on.” He sighed pointing at Ellie, “You’re explanin’ this to Tommy and Maria.” He grumbled before hopping on his horse trotting away without waiting on the two of you.

Ellie’s grin instantly brought joy right to you. She wasn’t like anyone you’d met before. Pre or post outbreak. She stood giving you her hand, “Can you stand?”

You nodded knowing you were going to have to find your way onto the horse, “Yeah.” You took her hand letting her pull you up, “Thanks.” You mumbled finding your footing. Using your arm, you leaned on the tree while you let the blood rush through your legs again. Already feeling lightheaded from the exertion, you didn’t know how far you’d actually make it.

“Sure, think you can make it up on Shimmer?” She pointed to the brown horse with a white diamond on its forehead. It was the simple things like naming horses that felt so domestic it almost hurt you. You craved for the world that little 14-year-old you grew up in a lifetime ago. Where you could go horseback riding or apple picking without a care in the world.

You were 16 going on 17 when the world went to hell right before your very eyes. You’d been a lucky one already living in Austin when it was walled off and sealed from the outside world. You’d spent ten years living and working low wage jobs and living in shitty apartment with your brother before he was killed in a random shooting down in the streets not far from where you lived. You’d already lost your mom on outbreak day and your father not long after that.

Then you met him. Joseph. Joey. Your partner. You’d started with small runs just for extra cash, so you didn’t have to work those shitty jobs endlessly. Then he’d convinced you to go on the run with him. It only took him a few months then you’d agreed. You’d met Sasha on the way. His girl. She was quick and smart. You’d become fast friends and the three of you became a trio. For ten years you’d lived as such. You’d never found anyone. It was alright with you. You were just trying to survive. You were ready to live that way for the rest of your life. Overly content with your best friends.

That was until they were murdered.

“I can try.” You walked over slowly, carefully. Thankful for the food you’d eaten only moments prior given you a little strength. You’d managed to find the stirrup and hoist yourself up. Ellie noticed you struggling to throw your leg over, so she helped. Using he shoulder she pushed a leg up and over the smaller horse. You sighed feeling horrifically weak. Thank God you’d managed to be found by two people who weren’t going to hurt you.

“Thanks again, Ellie.” You mumbled grabbing onto her once she hopped in front of you to guide the horse back to wherever the hell they came from.

She kept her eyes forward as she had Shimmer move forward trying to catch up to Joel. She was still on patrol after all, “Yeah, no problem. You owe me though.” She grinned knowing you were kind enough not to argue back.

“Yeah, I mean I do. Saved my ass.” You leaned your head on her back as the horse trotted along. You didn’t want to, but you were exhausted. It was taking everything in you not to pass out right then and there. So, laying on her was your only option to saving the energy needed to stay awake.

You must’ve nodded in and out of consciousness as she shouted at you abruptly, “Y/N!”

“Yeah?” Your eyes opened in surprised. The gentle rhythm of the horses steps stopped so suddenly.

“You’ve gotta stay awake.” She sounded more annoyed than worried. You appreciated her for that. You had to admit you’d be acting the same way.

“I’m trying.” You hummed knowing you weren’t going to make it, “But I feel so heavy.” Your knew your words were slurring as you tried holding onto her tighter. You heard her call for Joel before you slumped into her further succumbing to the darkness in front of you.

You woke under the most comfortable set of covers in what looked to be a home in the woods. Turning in the bed you saw the fireplace was blazing lowly keeping the room cozy compared to the freezing outdoors that had nearly killed you. The memories of the last few hours came rushing back. Looking around you didn’t see anybody in the room with you. Where in the hell were you anyway?

When you stood you noticed the IV hooked up to your arm. That was probably why you were feeling so much fucking better. It was light out. Probably mid-day. That meant you were either out for almost a day since Ellie and Joel found you last night. You rolled the cart with you as you made your way to the bedroom door. You probably should’ve been more freaked out, but you still felt oddly calm about the whole situation. You’d already accepted your death, and this was somehow turning out to be the best-case scenario.

Opening the door, you braced for the worst thankful to be met by a mostly empty living room. The whole thing felt oddly familiar. Like your own family home so long-ago pre-outbreak. You tried walking out only to be stopped by the IV stand getting blocked in the doorway, “Shit.” You groaned knowing you had just inadvertently pulled out your IV and were probably profusely bleeding.

You quickly grasped your forearm with your free hand hoping to stop some of the blood flow.

“Oh! You’re up.” Ellie’s cheerful voice rang from behind you. Spinning around her face dropped once she saw the blood dripping from your arm, “Shit, Maria!” She called loudly for the woman. She just wasn’t good with this kind of stuff. She knew what she was good at and it certainly wasn’t care taking.

“Yes, Ellie?” The woman named Maria came running out of what you presumed to be the kitchen.

Ellie just pointed at you and your arm. Maria’s eyes followed. She didn’t say much before springing into action. She pulled you into the bathroom not far from your room.

“Sorry.” You spoke softly as she worked to close the IV line in your arm.

She shook her head, “It’s okay. Are you alright?” She did a once over of your appearance, much more pleased with your normal color rather than the ghostly pale one you came in with.

“I am. Much better. Thank you. For that. All of this.” You weren’t much for words. Joey never was. Sasha got you talking more often but even she tired of your shorter answers. Ever since your brother passed you hadn’t had much to speak into the world. A part of you died with him all those years ago.

She nodded slowly. Eyes right on the spot of the bleeding. She cleaned it up before wrapping it. Ellie stood in the doorway watching the whole thing. As much as she didn’t want to know she needed to know. She had to know these kinds of things. Maria wouldn’t always be around to do it for her.

“Sure thing.”

“Where am I?” You had to ask again. Ellie never gave you an answer when you asked the day prior. This was all so incredible to you. The bathroom lights worked. There was hot water coming out of the sink. The house smelled good and was well maintained. People lived here.

She stood up watching you admire the space before you. She knew how amazing it was. Especially when you hadn’t seen anything like it in years. Sure, the QZ had power, but it was spotty at best. It certainly didn’t have heat or air-conditioning. That was a luxury few had.

“Jackson, Wyoming.” She answered your question, “A small commune. We’ve been here for almost ten years now.

“Wow.” You walked out of the bathroom after Ellie moved looking around you. Ellie forgot how incredible it all really was. It was easy to get complacent, “This is amazing. I’ve never run into a place like this.”

She smiled, “Few and far in between. We stay quiet. For good reason.”

You nodded, “I won’t tell anyone, I promise. I’ll get out of your hair soon. Thank you for everything.”

She gave you a quizzical look, “Where are you going?” Ellie watched in almost amusement. Where did you think you were going?

You shrugged, “Not sure, I guess.” You didn’t have a plan, but it wasn’t staying here. You didn’t think you were wanted.

Maria laughed. Straight belly laughed in your face. Ellie joined in when she didn’t stop. You smiled feeling the contagion hit. You couldn’t even help the small laughs that left your lips. What another foreign fucking feeling. You hadn’t laughed in literal years. Joey wasn’t one for the giggles and Sasha always respected that. That was a piece of you that you thought died with your brother.

“You’re tough. That’s for sure. But you wouldn’t make it far. You’ll stay.” She said so matter of factly you weren’t even sure if you were going to question her. Like it was so unquestionable.

“Really?” You weren’t sure why you kept pressing your luck, but you did.

She nodded, “You’re young, able bodied and will be completely healed up here soon. We’d love to have you here.”

You looked out the front door in awe of the rows of homes that lined the street. You assumed you were in some sort of neighborhood. You watched as a pair of children raced down the street on bicycles screaming and laughing as the snow slush spit out behind them. You smiled as a neighbor tried to get their dog to come inside but clearly wasn’t having it. Everything looked and felt so oddly normal. Like you were taken and placed back in time from so long ago.

“Half a mile north is the town square. Joel and Ellie live a few houses down that way. We’ll put you up in a home across the street from them. Tommy and Joel just finished it up.” She pointed as she spoke.

You kept looking at her like it was all a big dream. Maybe the raiders really did get you. How were you to be the one to get so lucky? It just didn’t seem right.

You nodded afraid your voice would crack.

“Ellie, why don’t you show her the house? There’s a coat by the door for you. Ellie and I picked some clothes out for you while you were asleep and left them in the house.”

“Thank you. For all of this. I can’t even begin to thank you for everything.” Speaking quietly, you found it hard to look them in the eye. This wasn’t common. People being kind for the good of it. Because they didn’t want to kill.

She gave Maria a curt nod before putting her coat and shoes coaxing you along, “Come on Y/N.” You followed her out of Maria’s home after putting on the new boots she had gotten you. Again, you thanked her profusely still not used to the kindness. You were ready to do whatever the town needed now. Need a hunter? You’d learn. Patrol? You had a good shot. Gardner? That’s what you were good at.

You were used to walking quietly. Sasha would often fill the void with her chatter. You and Joey would occasionally chime in. Sometimes Sasha would find a topic that got you interested in for more than five minutes. Those times were rare though. You were merely surviving in this world. You weren’t here to thrive.

Ellie was apparently not used to walking in silence. She started bombarding you with questions the second you left the warmth of Maria’s home. The cold hit you like a ton of bricks. It amazed you how you were able to survive it in the open for as long as you did.

“Where are you from?” She asked once you got your bearings about you.

You smiled remembering that old life. The one that seemed so fucking simple compared to this, “Texas.”

“Just like Joel!”

A small smile crept over your lips. The two of you seemed to have so much in common the more you learned about him, “Oh yeah?”

She nodded smiling, “Yeah!”

“What about you? Where are you from Ellie?”

She shrugged, “Grew up in Boston.”

You had to laugh, “We’re far from home.”

She joined in, “Do we really have a home anymore?”

Looking down at her you didn’t try to hide the frown, “I’m afraid not. Especially now that I have no one. Again.” You felt defeated. Each time you started to build a life it was suddenly ripped right from your grasp. First your brother, then Joey and Sasha.

Her soft smile felt sincere as you nodded contemplating what to tell her. Again, what did you have to lose? Might as well tell her everything. So, everything you did. The two of you walked slow as you told her all about your brother. How he was killed. How you found a new person in Joey. How the rest turned to history.

She was fascinated by your story. She thought that she had been on an adventure but couldn’t fathom what you’d been through by being outside a QZ for nearly ten years. She hadn’t heard about many people like you. Probably because there weren’t many people like you. It was too brutal. Too risky. One slip up and it’s over. Joey and Sasha were proof of that. You should’ve been but you were lucky. So fucking lucky.

You were nothing short of amazed when you walked into the home, and it already seemed cozier than Maria’s. Everything was stocked with anything you could need. The kitchen cabinets were loaded, the clothes were piled high on the bed on the main floor.

You’d invited her to stay to keep talking. For whatever reason Ellie was able to pull it out of you. You wanted to talk to her. Ask her questions. She was so real in this fucked up world. Too often the people you came by tried to sugar coat the situation. She was refreshing. A rarity.

You were sure you would’ve kept going had Joel not walked right through the front door. Only freezing when Ellie let out a, “What the fuck are you doing in here?”

He turned giving her a stunned expression, “Me? What are you doing in here?” He’d known her for years now, but he never tired of her personality. He adored it. Adored the kid growing far too fast for his liking.

Ellie, again, pointed right at you making Joel’s eyes lock with yours. You gave him a soft grin, waving slowly feeling a tad uncomfortable by the attention. Joel relaxed immediately.

“You’re up? Already?” He so desperately wanted to walk forward and give you a once over. The strange desire to protect you hadn’t gone away. But he knew better. You can’t get attached in this world. Never ever. He’d already let Ellie in on his small circle. He couldn’t let it get too big. That’s when bad things started happening.

“I am.” You nodded. A woman of few words. What were you supposed to say? It’s not like he gave

“You look a lot better.” He commented before turning to Ellie again. He’d sit there and stare at you all day if it wasn’t so god damn creepy.

“I feel it too. Thank you.” You kept it short this time. Thanking him not only for the comment but for agreeing to help you in the woods.

He nodded feeling a small heat creep up his neck. He needed to snap the hell out of it and quick. He couldn’t be having physical reactions to such innocent comments. It seemed as if you were trying to kill him already and you didn’t even fucking know it. He was a goner, and he knew it. His only chance was to avoid you. But he had a feeling that’d be damn near impossible with you living right across the street and Ellies uncanny ability to make friends with almost anybody she wanted… he was toast.

Ellie noticed. Course she noticed. She loved picking on her surrogate father. A dude who’d never claimed to be but always took on the role. People problems? She ran to Joel. Gun issues? She called for Joel’s help. Issues with schoolwork? She used Joels contractor brain to solve her issues. It was her role as his self-proclaimed adopted daughter to make his life a living hell. A fun living hell.

“Y/N! Why don’t you come over for dinner tonight?” Ellie grinned giving Joel the side eye, “Joel’s making burgers and they’re so good.”

Joel’s eyes went wide as he glared at the girl. She had a knack for picking up on things far too quickly for his liking.

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to impose.” You spoke. It already felt like you were a burden on Joel. Hell, he wouldn’t even turn to look at you.

Joel turned back almost accepting defeat so soon, “It’s fine. It’s no imposition.” Short and to the point.

“Alright. I’ll come over.” You smiled sweetly at Joel hoping he’d know it was a thank you. You didn’t know how rare the smile Joel flashed you was. When he turned back to Ellie he was scowling once again. She hadn’t a clue he’d flashed you one too.

“Six work?” He asked.

You nodded, “Six works.”

“Okay.” He turned to leave before Ellie stood to stop him.

“Weren’t you here for something?”

He pointed at her, “The sink. Need to hook up the washer. Last thing.” He nodded at you as he disappeared off into the kitchen leaving the two of you once again. You continued talking until he left. Ellie got up to follow him over letting you get settled before tonight.

“He likes snickerdoodle cookies by the way.”

You had to laugh shaking your head, “Of course. Every Texan’s favorite cookie.”

She nodded her head excitedly, “So you know how to make them?”

“By heart. I’d never forget.”

She clapped her hands together. You were clueless as hell to her devious plan. Operation get Joel together with Y/N. Joel never showed interest in a single soul. So, the second he did Ellie was going to pounce on it. That was her promise, “Perfect. See you tonight with those snickerdoodles!” She waved before shutting your door. It still amazed you this was now your life. A little safe haven in the middle of no where Wyoming. What could go wrong?

You’d rapid fire knocked on their front door. It was so fucking freezing out here. How you didn’t freeze to death was a mystery.

Ellie flung the door open not too long after, “You look pretty.” She commented after taking your coat from you.

Smiling you nodded, “Showers help quite a bit.”

She shook her head, “No, I think your just a pretty person.

“Ellie!” Joel called through a door, “Would you stop?” That’s when Joels eyes caught yours. He was a bit taken aback. Ellie was right. You weren’t just pretty. You were drop dead fucking gorgeous. Who in the hell were you?

Your soft smile turned to one much larger, “It’s sweet. Thank you Ellie.” Ruffling her hair, you walked over to him. He wanted desperately to back away into the kitchen. You were all consuming. Too much for him to handle. But he also didn’t want to see you frown or get upset by his actions.

Handing him a small plate of cookies you grinned looking up at him, “For you. As a thank you. A little birdie told me you liked snickerdoodle’s.”

He laughed taking them from your grasp as gently as he could, “You didn’t have to.”

“I know. I wanted to. You’ve all been so kind. It’s a small thank you.”

He took them gratefully meeting your eyes again, “Come on in, burgers are almost done. I’m sure Ellie wants to show you around.”

She nodded, “Those cookies… are for me to? As a thank you?”

You laughed a good true laugh. One that was so absent from your life for so long, “Of course Ellie. I’ll even make some more if you ask.”

She immediately went to hug you tightly, “Thank you! Now come on, I wanna show you my room.” She grabbed your hand dragging you along without much reluctance.

Joel watched the innocent interaction with love in his eyes. It was easy for Ellie to make friends, but it wasn’t easy for her to actually like them. Ellie didn’t like many people. Joel most days. Maria sometimes. Tommy almost never. Dina all the time. She seemed to genuinely like you. He hadn’t seen Ellie so eager to help with such a spark in her eye. Like she found a sister. Somebody with a common bond.

Maybe it could work with you. You seemed sweet. He knew you were more than capable. Who in the hell just lives outside the QZ? You were mad and he kind of loved it. He’d known you for what? All of an hour and here he was planning stuff with you in mind? He was mad and he didn’t know if he loved it or not.

Joel was setting out the onion and tomato Ellie pulled from the garden earlier out when the two of you walked into the kitchen.

“So, who was your favorite singer before the outbreak happened?” Ellie asked ignoring Joel’s curious glance up from the kitchen.

You laughed remembering those days spent gossiping in the hallways of your high school. What you’d give to go live a day like that again, “Not a person, a band. NSYNC. God, they were everything to me. Sixteen and had dreams of marrying JC one day.” You hummed remembering the posters that lined your bedroom wall.

Ellie grinned ear to ear hearing that response, “Guess what I have on the CD player?” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“Shut the hell up. Don’t tell me you have an NSYNC album?” You beamed with excitement. Oh, how long it’d been since you’d heard that band sing. You’d occasionally hear music hear and there. Nothing consistent though.

“I do! After dinner we can listen.” Ellie looked proud of herself Joel noticed. You looked like a little kid in a candy store eating that information up.

“That was Sarah’s favorite band too. That or what’s the other one? The Back Boys?” Joel joined in setting the burgers down at the table. He’d taken a seat next to you and not Ellie at the four-person table.

“The Backstreet Boys.” You laughed appreciating that he somewhat remembered, “I liked them. But preferred NSYNC. Who’s Sarah?” You never knew when things would get awkward, but you felt the air shift in the room.

“My daughter.” Joel answered forgetting you weren’t already part of the family. How quickly you seemed to mold in.

You nodded deciding not to press further, “She has wonderful taste.”

“Had.” He sighed knowing you weren’t planning on leaving anytime soon. What would be the use in hiding it or lying about it? The truth always came out. It could never hide, “She was shot on outbreak day.”

You nodded in understanding. You’d lost as much as he had at the same time, “I’m sorry. It never gets easier does it?”

He shook his head, “Never. Who’d you lose?” He didn’t care for pleasantries and what was proper. He wanted to get to know you the real you. You prepared your burger as you thought of your answer. Taking your time letting Joel know you needed it.

“My mom on outbreak day. My dad a few days later. Shot by FEDRA. My brother ten years after that. Killed in a Firefly incident.” You leaned back in your chair observing his reaction while he studied yours.

He nodded silently while fixing his plate.

“Was life fun?” Ellie asked, “Before?”

You laughed taking a long swig of the iced tea Joel had poured for you, “My life was. It was amazing. It wasn’t perfect but it was everything.”

Joel nodded in agreement, “It surely wasn’t perfect. There was stress. But it was different.”

You smiled, “I prefer that stress. Can I afford my gas this week? Rather than am I dying today?”

It got a chuckle out of both of them as Joel nodded agreeing with you, “Much preferred to this.”

Before anybody could respond the landline rang. It was a sound so unfamiliar it had you jumping out of your seat, “Is that a telephone?”

Joel nodding with a slick smirk on his face, “They have everything here.”

Ellie shot up from her seat, “That might be Dina! I told her to call after her patrol. Do you mind?” She gave Joel the cheesiest grin. He simply waved her off which was his signal to let her know it was fine, she could go.

You watched him watch her. It was clear he loved her dearly. Maybe even as much as a daughter. You hadn’t met many men like him, but you knew he was special. Just like Ellie was. You’d needed this so bad. So, fucking desperately. Just when you didn’t think you could go on it’s like the universe gave you a new purpose. One to simply exist and learn now. Grow and feel safe again. Like the challenge had been conquered and you were being given your reward. You just needed to take it. He was sitting right there watching you now, lost in thought.

He didn’t turn once you caught him staring. He just smiled and continued watching. You decided to ignore him and start eating. Too enticed by the smell rather than wait on Ellie.

He grinned joining you, “You’re very interesting, Y/N.” He simply stated after taking a large bite from his burger.

“Hopefully a good interesting and not a bad one.” Your heart sped up as he acknowledged you.

“Definitely the good one.” He tipped his head as if there was a hat on his head, “We don’t get too many new commers around here. When we do they’re usually stuffy. It’s nice to have ya. A nice change.” That’d definitely been the most he had spoken to you since you got here, and it was incredibly kind. He was trying and that was simply more than you could ask for. Just as Ellie had sensed it you had too. You’d seen his apprehension die down as he got to know you just a bit more. He was beginning to feel calm in your presence. Bringing out the good in him.

“Thank you Joel.” You felt the heat rise to your cheeks. You didn’t bother putting makeup on. Honestly, you’d forgotten how to do it. And why would you have needed it? You had forgotten how blissfully your cheeks exposed you at the drop of a hat.

“Anytime darlin’, anytime.” He didn’t know where in the hell this was going to end up, but he was starting to get more than excited for the ride he was about to take. The gleam in your eye told him he needed to buckle up or you’d buck him right on off.

Taglist: @loving-and-dreaming

[centrally-unplanned]

I am beginning the "Understanding Victoria 3" journey - I love Paradox and love Victoria 2, but I didn't vibe with 3 on release. but I didn't try too hard - after all its a Paradox game on release, they always kind of suck lol, you gotta wait for a few patches.

So I began a Japan file (weeb alert) and am taking it one step at a time. I think I have the economic fundamentals a bit down now with the "construction sector" gameplay loop - build up some construction buildings, look at sell/buy mismatches, drag peasants into the market economy, and then plan for multi-step supply chain moments and key production line switches building everything needed at once. I still get what is worth vs not worth, but that will come with time.

I do like the core system here - the "peasant" stock is a clever workaround of a Vicky 2 problem. Tons of workers start out "outside" the market economy doing subsistence farming, which is ahistorical (1836 rural economies in almost all countries were heavily commercialized) but in Vicky 2 a lot of what you did to boost things like RGO production was just "wait" - wait for techs, wait for population to grow, because everyone started fully employed. Now you can plan your economy way more effectively as there is a deep labor pool to play with.

On the down sides the UI is extremely messy. No screen really gives you "the economy", in the way you want it. Where is labor, where is infrastructure bottlenecks, what goods do my factories need to go to next production level tech, etc. Its all scattered to the winds like an artificial difficulty increase, like if I put it all in one place it would make what decision to make too obvious. But I can still tell, so its annoying as opposed to challenging.

Additionally it seems like I do *not* have to educate new people for jobs. I can just draft peasants right into universities as staff and such. This seems like a big error to me? But maybe I don't get it yet.

I haven't really touched diplo yet so no thoughts. Politics I don't really understand yet. I get the "fundamentals", you form coalition governments and based on their ideology they support different laws. But how I, as the player, actually interact with it in a positive way I haven't grokked yet. I want to both initiate change, and also be hit with challenges that I have to grapple with, and I am not sure of how to do either yet. Will be my next focus.

(The game does seem very event-bare, but ofc when it came to Vicky II I was always playing mods. One step at a time)

[mostlyihyperfixate]

As per usual, """"quick"""" discussion of Spirit of Justice as I head into (??? I think ???) the final case.

There must be a bonus case, too, because I know there's one about time traveling and weddings and stuff?

Anyway, I really will try to be quick this time.

I love this game.

I'm really surprised, because going into it, I was really "meh" about the concept of Phoenix going to a fantasy country and aiding the legal system there. And I still am to an extent--the worldbuilding and the extremely literal pun names (which I realize were also there in the Japanese version) really do nothing for me as a whole.

But this is the best the writing has been since the original trilogy, in my opinion. Objectively, the trial segments are more difficult than Dual Destinies and subjectively (because I know a lot of people really enjoy it), I find the story to be less...I don't even know. I personally find it more interesting than Apollo Justice, but, again, that's an entirely subjective opinion.

The not subjective part is that Spirit of Justice doesn't have Turnabout Serenade.

I think the thing for me is that every single case so far has had some aspect to it that was memorable to me: The musical bits in the first case; the incredible asshole-ry of the culprit in the second case; the twists and turns--and Phoenix finally using spirit summoning to summon something other than a better lawyer--in the third case; Simon and Athena working together on the fourth case; Apollo and Phoenix going up against each other in the beginning of Case 5.

I read that people don't like Case 4 because of how condescending Simon and Nahyuta are to Athena. I just read it as Simon being a typical big brother. He stepped in because he didn't like the way Nahyuta was treating Athena, but as a big brother, he couldn't just say that; he had to act like it was because he didn't trust her. Additionally, he just wanted to be involved because he's a gatekeeping weeb. But just because that's how I read something doesn't make it true, so I'm not gonna, like, go after anyone that didn't like that case.

And I cannot emphasize enough how cathartic it was to see Apollo win a court battle against Phoenix. I know the narrative says that he'd never be able to if Phoenix was at his best, but whatever.

I love Rayfa. I understand she also isn't for everyone. I'm not actually crazy about tsundere-types myself. But a huge part of Phoenix's appeal to me is his weird-girl-dad energy, and her investigation segments gave me a lot of that. I'm looking forward to seeing what the last bit of the game does for her.

I'm also surprised by how much I love Dhurke (at least at this juncture). The games really don't have any good boy-dad representation, and his open love for Apollo is very endearing. Like, obviously he's flawed. He abandoned Apollo in America for reasons yet to be revealed, and that might sour me on him. But for now, just having someone around to encourage Apollo and give him fancy sushi and call him "son" just makes me very, very happy. I just want good things for Apollo.

Nahyuta is the weakest link for me here. I'm not going to say that he's scum or anything. I just...don't find him very interesting. I assume he's going to play a pretty big role in this last bit, so I'm willing to change my mind! But right now, he doesn't do anything for me. I know he's not a complete jerk. He's a reasonable authority figure to Ema. But I sure would have liked to see him branch out from just calling the defense "putrid brained" or whatever. His made-up hells were funny at first, but now they've just kind of devolved into nonsense, and calling everyone "putrid" is all he has. And I know. Godot only had coffee, and I liked him. But he just went up against Phoenix. Nahyuta goes up against Phoenix, Apollo, and Athena. I'd just have liked to see some variety beyond, "oh, you wear yellow, so you're a putrid egg." Wow, calling them names based on food based on their outfit colors. How original. No one's ever done that before.

But yeah! Overall, I've had a really good time with Spirit of Justice! I've had to look up solutions for the first time since Apollo Justice; I've talked myself through answers for the first time since Trials and Tribulations; and I've actually been excited to put the fanfiction down and play since that game as well.

I've heard this last bit in Khura'in lasts just short of forever, so I suppose all of my opinions could change. But as of right now, I'm pleased with this one!

[whoiwanttoday]

The Olympics are upon us. Unofficially? No, it feels official, official games are being played as we speak but the opening ceremony isn't until later so some people don't like it if you said the Olympics have started. Either way, I am watching the Netherlands and Angola play Handball and this isn't like it's natural rivals who got into an argument on the Rue de Handball and suddenly a game broke out, this is stuff organized by some governing body. My point is I think the Olympics have started and I am excited because I love the Olympics. Handball is one of my loved Olympic Sports actually, so it's a great way to start it off. If I lived in Europe would I watch Handball regularly cause that's where the professional leagues are? Maybe, who knows. But I don't so I don't. Instead I watch every four years and every four years I think, "That looks like so much fun, I'd love to do that". It's very entertaining, it's fast paced, it's easy to understand, the games are often exciting and go back and forth just like basketball or something. You get good scoring, you get teamwork, you get shoes squeaking on the court sometimes. What more do you need in the sport?

Well, how about attractive and athletic women performing at the peak of the sport? I actually didn't know who to post here cause I found a couple of athletes quite attractive, it's a high scoring game so people would score and I'd be a little smitten because guys, everybody loves a winner. Well, I love both teams, I had no horse in this race. One of the nice things about Handball is the US is not good at it and usually we aren't in the Olympics so I don't need to worry about that, I can just enjoy watching other countries play and this was a great one, most of the game it was a one goal difference and that was exciting and fun. Anyway, I am posting Estavana Poleman because I thought maybe I had the wrong person at first when I looked her up cause all her social media is just the same stuff you'd see for a typical mom in her 30's. It's a woman who loves her kids and is absolutely impressed by them and the cool things they do and it wasn't until I found pictures of her on the court that I knew I had the right person. I kind of liked the juxtaposition because sure she looks like a normal mom but I had just seen her repeatedly jump really high and fake people out and throw a ball into a net really hard. My words might not make that seem impressive but i am here to tell you it was. Poleman scores yet again became a common refrain. So here she is. Today I want to fuck Estavana Poleman.

[twistedwonderlandobsession]

TWST Character Ranked Based off Whether I Think I Could Live With them

Pt: 1

Note:I am listing this from Worst to Best and giving descriptions as to why

Vil:

This man falls into the hell no category. Not because I know he will be running his blender at 5 am, or even because I would be worried about a stalker fan or the media or some shit. No no no, I would not tolerate him being my room mates for three reasons.

1. He would be yelling at me to go to bed at 10pm

2.He would be Horrified at my dark circles and overall lack or self care and I can already hear his nagging

3.Me and Vil are very particular and control freak people so the way we decorate may clash and I would not be appreciative of his bland ass diet food.

Kamil:

I love this boy I adore him, but I would not be able to handle him. As much as he would be useful financially he would also be a huge responsibility and I am not willing to handle him like Jamil dose purely because I don't want to put him and his family out of a job.

Not to mention he is way to friendly and as much as I would love to have him tell thr waiter I want fries I could also see him being the roommate that brings Home a bunch of friends and drags me out of my hole so no thx bby.

Cater◆:

No, I don't need him constantly filming my home. I think he is respectful enough to ask if he could film me or post stuff about me but it's a no for me. Not to mention I think his sister's kinda fucked him up and I don't think he would be completely comfortable with a female roommate because of that.

Ace♥︎:

I would be on the less tolerable side with him, like he is on the maybe train, cause like I feel like we could somewhat vibe, but I also feel like he would not stop commenting and making sarcastic remarks about my appearance and nerdyness, I would definitely punch him in the face at some point.

Not to mention this man would not do his chores and he is kinda broke so he would barely pay rent

Epel:

Yet another maybe baby, I mean I dig the country shit, and the fact he is 5"1 and can kick anyone's ass, but it depends on where he is at mentally. I have personal experience with being raised in a extremely traditional and borderline sexist household with strong beliefs that are somewhat similar to what he was raised with so I get how hard it is to snap out of that mentality.

But my home is a safe space and there is no way in hell I'm letting him nring his gender norms in my house since that's a hole can of toxicity I can not deal with on a day to day basis.

TLDR: Yes to post Chapter 5 Firm no to Pre Chapter 5

Sebek:

Eh- I mean like maybe??? I think he would be good with his chores and would definitely be useful if a incident happened with my family, and I can deal with his screaming since i listenin to rock and shit on full volume anyways and have a tallent for tuning people out.

But then again I feel like he would be screaming in my ear every 5 minutes out of absolute horror about what I read and watch or my habits or the food. Like

HUMAN! What is this.....Media?

Uh- it's a murder podcast

HOW DARE YOU BRING THIS INTO THE HOME OF THE FUTURE NIGHT OF THE PRINCE OF BRIAR VALLEY-

Ortho:

I would tolerate him as a roommate, I wouldn't be too stoked about living with him, but he gives good video game and movie recommendations. I think it would be pretty enjoyable to watch a movie or play a video game with him.

I think he could handle my rants pretty well. I also feel like he is decent with chores and wouldn't be bothered by my appearance or humor since it's similar to his brothers.

Lilia:

Ah yes! Our goth emo bat war veteran.... I would.....mmmmmmmm...it's a cross between toleration and acceptance. I would definitely enjoying his music 10/10 and I feel like we could definitely vibe. He definitely would not be bothered with how late I stay up and I could definitely see us having a 3am conversation over Down With the Sickness by Disturbed in the background while I bake cupcakes.

He would be banned from my kitchen though, it's permanent. No takebacksies, I will litterally make Azul write up the contract.

Jade:

Yet another yes but no, yes because he seems tolerable and that he wouldn't comment on my sitting in dark corners or spinning in a desk chair on the middle of the room at 2Am if I let him just have his rocks and mushrooms.

But he also kinda gives me the eerie vibes like If I piss him of or summ he won't complain but I would definitely be paranoid of stange mushrooms in my dinner.

[kedsandtubesocks]

Here are some Jack Daniels headcanons I have and I am shaking my fist at the sky because I never thought’d I’d get lassoed in by this cowboy yet HERE I AM!!!!

Also this is for Laura @lowlights for being the best/worst influence yeehaw ♡

I have a feeling he is a Scorpio - intense, loyal, literally can hold a grudge forever but also loves deeply

This man is a dork and I stand by that because yes he’s gorgeous and suave and yeah can take down a small army but the minute you answer a trivia question wrong about the empire strikes back he is correcting you, polite as ever because he’s an gentleman, but he still knows the right answer and even talks about how the scene where r2d2 is in the mud water was shot in George Lucas’ unfinished swimming pool

This makes sense when you see his rare and signed Han Solo vintage card in his home office

Also probably has a rare stamp collection he prides himself in and it’s adorable and you giggle so much because he is dorky and you are honored to see this side of him!!

Likes butter pecan ice cream because it’s a southern staple and his grandma loved it too so it reminds him of her

When he wanders away from you at the supermarket he comes back to your side and pretends he doesn’t know you, still tries to flirt with you and be playful while you are there smiling so big the entire time just trying to ask him what type of cereal he wants

Loves a good elegant wine dinner but when you decided to order in take out late one evening instead of going out Jack gets hit with those deep domestic feelings HARD

Once he comes to terms with his first wife’s death I like to believe he has this little dream where she kind of reassures him that their love is forever but he is allowed to heal and let love surround him again and it’s then that he really understands that yes she is and forever will be his first love but you are his forever love and after that he feels reborn

This is even more intensified when he stays over at your place and you have a self care night with relaxing face masks and your favorite treats and the minute you offer to put a face mask on him he’s done for, literally in the bathroom when you’re not looking he’s already browsing his phone for matching robes for you and him

Gets hooked into any series you are watching, he is immediately asking questions about who is who and very sincerely gasps when a big plot twist comes (also is an absolute sucker for a good rom com)

Has no ability to play any type of video game except Mario kart which he takes seriously too and he always picks Mario because “he’s a classic honey, can’t got wrong with a classic” and you joke about how boring that pick is until he kicks your ass on rainbow road

Loves to help people on airplanes move their luggage up into the overhead bins, he’s also that guy who can make conversation in line with almost anyone even at the DMV

You learn he almost domesticated a raccoon when he was a boy

Jack also loves a good museum date and can be super insightful but also a bit silly and he makes funny faces at paintings or statues to make you laugh

Big fan of 90’s country and specifically I see him as a Brooks & Dunn man cause he for SURE serenades you with their song ‘Brand New Man’ multiple times

also is probably a Willie Nelson fan and has a framed photo of when he met the country singer himself and Jack proudly tells the story of how they met any time someone comes over and the moment he decides he’s gonna marry you is when you jokingly prove you can repeat the story word for word

His dream is to one day meet Dolly Parton

LOVES to cuddle!!!

Loves dogs of course but when you care for a scared kitten you find under his truck on a rainy night Jack becomes a complete cat dad and even gets the cat a small little cowboy hat that makes him bust out laughing every time the cat wears it

Is a sucker for candles

Isn’t much of a beach guy but would sit in a lazy river for hours

Once you say yes to his proposal he carves your initials with his into a tree on his family’s property and on the day you get married of course shows it to you (you can’t help but cry of course and he does too)

He finds a left over empty bag or wrapper of your favorite snack in his suitcase when he’s on an away mission and calls you crying a bit drunk because he misses you and thinks you left that for him as a reminder that you’re always with him and you’re like ‘no baby that just means we need to clean our suitcases better’

Gets his wedding ring with your birthstone in it

[sunflower-eddiediaz]

@edmundodiazz asked : i see your posts about kaamelott and have to try reeally hard not to give up to temptation and search for/start something new. i have responsibilities! but… french and arthurian legends… it’s so tempting

FRIEEEEND I'm sorry, I am not even a little sorry. You've caught me on the verge of a Kaamelott obsession renaissance. Let me sit down.

You've seen my attempt at a short and concise summary here. This will not be that...

Quick facts: Seasons 1-4 have a short format (lots of ~5 min episodes), seasons 5-6 have a long format (a few ~40-50 min ep). Season 6 is a "prequel" and the last episode is in the present. The seasons are called books (livres).

I will add that, although I never looked it up myself, I know for a fact that there's english subtitles available. Also, I remember hearing about the episodes being on youtube in certain countries, so that's something to check, maybe, possibly.

I just, imprinted on this show as a kid (it started in 2005) and never let it go. So, I'm probably gonna wax poetics about it (as it deserves!)

I like the expression 'crack treated seriously' because the author (Alexandre Astier, who plays Arthur, and has his name all over the credits) approaches comedy as something that cannot work if it's not treated seriously. It can't be funny, it can't resonate with people, it can't tell a compelling story, if it's not treated seriously. All that AND it's fucking crack, it's stupid and I love these silly characters. It's a story of/about characters, you could get attached to any that appears on screen. (Which is probably a consequence of AA writing characters for an actor/with an actor in mind.)

Okay, let's talk about the characters then : (PS writing this is english is weird)

Le Roi Arthur - He's designated by the gods to unite the kingdoms, find the grail, bring light the people; simple enough mission, right?. He's trying to achieve that with the knights of the round table, who are an eclectic and incompetent group of people. They all have their skills and qualities, but to achieve that mission, to understand the purpose, to work together as a group, etc, it's... complicated. And at first, it's all fun and game, especially in the beginning of the story since we're getting to know everyone and their dynamics. Throughout the show, we see Arthur struggle with the burden of that divine mission, whether it's in a light and silly context or an intense and dramatic one.

La Reine Guenièvre - She. She is the wife of king Arthur. That's her mission, right. Support your king, produce an heir, standard queen stuff. Except, it's pretty hard to do that when your husband is emotionally distant and no one taught you sex ed. (They marriage has never been consumed, it's a whole thing). They share a bed, they have little chit chats before sleep, he acts like she's annoying and repulsive, clearly she's adorable and gorgeous. I guess, at first she comes off as haha here's yet an another incompetent, but she's a very sensitive and intuitive person (and I love her). We get to see her and Arthur's relationship evolve throughout show; how much affection Arthur actually as for her; Arthur realizing how blessed he is to have her as queen; her relationships with other people (like the official mistresses of Arthur who she's friends with, or...)

Seigneur Lancelot - He's the competent knight of the round table. He cares about their mission. He's dedicated and loyal. He and Arthur have a good relationship, you could definitely call them friends. He's cordial with the queen, friendly even. He is very much the type of person who's flaws stem from their qualities. I could say more, but I won't.

I'll try to be shorter and stay superficial for the rest.

Seigneur Léodagan and Dame Séli - They're Guenièvre's parents. They're competent king and queen of the Carmélide kingdom. They're good at politics, strategy, war. They're very much In-Laws.

Seigneurs Perceval and Karadoc - They're the least competent knights of the bunch. They don't know what's happening. They're an epic and iconic duo. Keep an eye out for Perceval (positive).

Merlin l'enchanteur - We know for a fact that he can do magic, but like, how many times has he done a useful spell...?? And actually, he's a druid not an enchanter, thank you very much.

La Dame du Lac (The Laby of the Lac ?) - Only Arthur can see and communicate with her. She is his link to the gods. She has to be his guide through his divine mission.

All the other knights - some are at the head of their kingdom like Léodagan, some are not like Perceval and Karadoc or like Seigneur Bohort (I just had to mention him by name) or Seigneurs Yvain and Gauvain (another epic duo), some are just following along, some are more antagonists, etc

And so many more amazing characters I know I'm omitting some major ones

Special mention for the sword Excalibur because I love her special effects and her impacts on the story.