#maybe also some off fanart too . been playing some of that recently and its great though im very stupid when it comes to the puzzles

[i-mode]

so many cool characters i wanna draw hrmhmm

[whiteqnn]

PURE [5] - Corpse Husband x Fem!Reader

A/N: It’s been a while.  

part 1

part 2

part 3

part 4

PURE [5]

“Did you guys find anybody?” Felix’s voice sounded out when the man repeated the same question for what seemed like the third time since he joined the call. The number of players showed 7 of them, which meant that they were still missing three people. Sure, they could start the game now, but it would be way more enjoyable and funny with a full lobby. 

“Yeah, Toast will be here any moment. “Sykkuno replied right away. “He just texted me; he should join us in a few.”

“Cool. Anyone else?” 

“I think Corpse was also supposed to join us, right? Not sure though why he isn’t here yet.” 

“Oh, yeah, Corpse will be here soon too!” Jack suddenly chimed in with an explanation. “He said he needed to take care of something first, but he’ll be here before we start.” 

“Great. But that means we’re still one person short.” Felix hummed when Toast’s little astronaut appeared in the lobby “Hey Toast."

“Hey man.”

“Do you have anyone coming?”

“I’m afraid not. I asked MrBeast, but he’s busy, so...”

“Well then, we can just start when Corpse is here, and maybe we’ll find someone in the meantime?” Dave suggested, earning a few hums of approval from the other players. 

“Yeah, I think that’s the best option...” Jack agreed. But then his voice blared out in everyone’s headphones with excitement. “Ha! Corpse is bringing someone!” 

“Who?” 

“I dunno, he just texted me he has one coming and that’s all.” 

“Hm, all right. Let’s wait then.”

***

Corpse fidgeted with his phone, glancing between its screen and the chat in his stream. People were already asking countless questions, but rather than answering them, he was waiting for Y/N to call him. He was nervous - the girl still hadn’t commented on his request. 

The idea to invite her to the lobby wasn’t spontaneous. In fact, he’d been thinking about it for quite some time now, but never found the courage to actually ask if she would like to join them for the game.

It’s been almost a month now since that memorable phone call. A month since Y/N last played with her friends; a month since she considerably reduced her social media usage. 

Sure, she was still active on her youtube channel, but not as much as before the whole haters situation. No matter how hard she tried to just ignore them and simply continue her career, she just couldn’t. There were still these nagging thoughts at the back of her mind, reminding her of all those people and their comments, their messages. It seemed like a good idea to take a short break and sort everything out.

Her fans understood it. They were obviously sad that her videos weren’t as frequent as before, but everyone knew what the situation looked like and that Y/N needed some time for herself. 

Her audience knew it, and so did her friends. Especially Corpse. 

The man kept his word and talked to the girl whenever she wanted to. Which, in the end, was almost everyday. Although at the beginning their conversations mostly focused on her current problem and dealing with it, their topics broadened over the time. 

At one point though, Y/N started worrying that maybe she’s annoying him with her so frequent calls. She thought that she shouldn’t bother him that much - even if talking to him was what really helped her cope with her problems. He already had enough on his plate, and sharing her own concerns with him suddenly seemed like a very selfish thing to do.

But she quickly realized how wrong she was for thinking like that. When one day she didn’t call, figuring out that she should stop troubling him with her own issues, she was very surprised when Corpse reached out to her himself. He expressed how worried he got when she didn’t call, and when she explained what was the reason, he spent the next fifteen minutes lecturing her that she should never think she’s bothering him. 

From that day on, they talked every single day. And they talked about almost everything.

Corpse enjoyed their late night-talks more than anything. He liked to listen to Y/N talk about the things she finds exciting, her hobbies, and her dreams. Hell, she could talk about what she ate for breakfast, and he would still listen with interest. 

And even though they haven’t seen each other in person, even though she still hasn’t seen his face, they managed to get really close during those past weeks. For an outside observer (who also didn’t have access to Twitter) they would seem like a couple of very good friends.

But not for Corpse.

He couldn’t pinpoint when exactly did it happen. They were talking one evening and Y/N was telling him about the TV series she had finished watching recently. He listened intently and watched as her facial expressions changed from excited to frustrated, as she was enumerating everything she liked and disliked about the series finale.

And then he suddenly got this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach, and simply couldn’t take his eyes off her. 

He tried to play it off and act as if nothing changed, but he couldn’t stop his heart from doing backflips whenever she laughed at one of his dumb jokes or called him partner. It was still a running joke between them and among the group of their friends, but there was something in the way she said it that made him instantly smile like an idiot. 

He also started paying more attention to the hashtags on Twitter and Instagram. #PartnersInCrime was still rather popular, even though it was a month since anyone last used this phrase on stream. Corpse also found out that #Y/Nforthebride was trending for some time; he even managed to stumble across a few fanarts. 

There was this urge to send them to Y/N, but he was too nervous that it would make things awkward between them... After all, he didn’t know how she felt about that whole shipping thing. 

That’s why he decided to just leave things between them as they are, and be happy that he’s at least her friend.  

Corpse nearly jumped out of his skin, when he was brought back to reality by the sound of an upcoming FaceTime call. Y/N’s photo appeared on his screen, her smiley face which he had assigned as her contact photo. His lips corners curled up in a smile almost unwittingly. 

“Hey Y/N/N” he said after answering the call. 

“Hi Corpse” she smiled softly upon hearing his voice. Although the screen on her side was dark, she didn’t mind not seeing Corpse’s face. She respected his wish to remain faceless and enjoyed their conversations anyway. 

“Whatcha doin’?”

“Just editing the new video. I guess I’ll upload it in the morning... but I’m not sure yet.”

“Well let me know then, I wanna be the first one to see it.” 

“Sure thing, Corpse” she chuckled, lowering her gaze bashfully. Corpse just looked at her face for a moment, unable to stop smiling to himself. Then he remembered why they were talking in the first place.

“So... have you seen my text?” Y/N sighed at his question but nodded her head slowly. “And what do you think?”

“I don’t know, Corpse...” she ran a hand through her hair in a nervous gesture. “...if that’s a good idea, I mean.”

“Well, it’s been a while. No pressure though, if you don’t wanna play then it’s totally fine.” he quickly clarified. “I just thought it would be fun if you joined us, even if just for a moment. I’m sure everyone would go crazy.” 

Her smile widened slightly at his words, but she still didn’t look convinced. Sure, it was tempting to join them. She wanted to do it each time Sean or Felix bombarded her with messages and codes to the lobby, both inviting her to join the group in the game. But then she remembered how people reacted to her appearance in their streams... and suddenly it didn’t seem like such a good idea anymore.

“We’re gonna play on Polus...” he added after a moment when she still didn’t say anything. “That one map with the planetary base... there’s a lava pit, y’know. Just saying...”

She laughed wholeheartedly at his words, remembering their last game when Corpse jumped into the lava for her. 

“Sykkuno’s gonna be there as well” Corpse continued. “And I promise I won’t kill you this time.”

“Even if I’m the last player alive?” she joked.

“Even then, Y/N.”

Corpse stifled a laugh, as she cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes slightly as if trying to spot him in the darkness. 

“Are you streaming, Corpse?” she then asked.

“Not yet. I’m gonna start the stream as soon as you say yes, though.”

“Oh c’mon” she laughed at his words “That’s emotional blackmail!” 

“Maybe. Is it working?” he asked.

Y/N let out a heavy breath and ran a hand down her face. Corpse watched in anticipation as she seemed to have some internal battle with herself. He hoped that she’s gonna agree, he really missed playing with her. 

“All right, then.” she suddenly said, and his breath hitched in his throat. “I’m gonna stay for a few rounds I guess...”

“Wait, really?” he asked, a smile on his face only widening. 

“Well, yeah, partner.” she replied, which made his cheeks go warm “Your imposter techniques haven’t been very effective lately... Someone needs to help you out, or you’re gonna lose your title of the king of the Imposters.” 

“Oh, is that’s how it is now?” he laughed in fake shock. “I wouldn’t have to worry about losing the title if my accomplice hadn’t left me all alone!” 

“All right, all right.” she giggled at his accusations. “Your accomplice is on her way to support you.” 

Corpse smiled even wider at the sound of her laughter. Her eyes shined with happiness when she was giggling, which only brought out their E/C color. The fact that his stupid babbling was the reason for her smile was making him feel extremely proud of himself.  

“But just so you know... I still have no idea how this map works, so I’m afraid I’m gonna need you to guide me around it...”

“Y’know you could as well just say you want to hang out with me...”

“Corpse!” she laughed, her cheeks blushing in embarrassment. 

“Just kidding Y/N” he chuckled at her reaction. “Of course I’m gonna guide you, don’t worry.”

“Okay then...” she said after a moment, looking at the screen again. “I’ll be there in a few minutes. Will you send me the code, please?”

“Sure I will, Y/N” 

“Okay. See you later, partner” she smiled brightly. 

“See you, partner.” 

When Y/N ended the call, Corpse let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He sighed in relief and ran a hand through his hair, before moving to sit behind his desk.

It was only after he started the stream that he realized he was blushing. Not only because Y/N would join them, but because there was also another thing he wanted to ask her about, but didn’t find the courage to yet... 

***

By the time Y/N turned on her computer and started the game, Corpse has already sent her the code, and there was a Discord invite waiting for her as well. She bit her lip nervously as her heartbeat quickened. 

Was she nervous? As hell. 

She did everything she could to avoid being in unnecessary spotlight since she started receiving those hate messages. Perhaps escaping the problem wasn’t the best solution, but it definitely was a comfortable one. People wouldn’t have a reason to hate on her if she disappeared. 

But then she couldn’t say no to Corpse. And truth to be said - she really missed playing with her friends. From what she’d seen on Twitter, the lobby would be filled with those she’d already played with, so she wasn’t that nervous before the game. What she was nervous about though, was how people would react.

Accepting Corpse’s request was something she did due to the sudden rush of courage. And now there was no coming back.

She knew Corpse would understand if she changed her mind... but she heard how excited he was when she had agreed. She couldn’t do it to him. 

So, once she’d taken a deep breath and put her headphones on, Y/N accepted the invite and braced herself for the inevitable chaos that was bound to take place in the call. She decided to wait with joining the lobby though - at least until they realize she’s with them. 

“..the fuck you’re talking about?!” Felix’s voice was the first thing she heard, which made her roll her eyes with a smile. “It’s not my fault I sound like that! At least I don’t have a liar voice like Rae!” 

“HEY!” the girl yelled “I don’t have a liar voice!”

“You do, you’re using it even now!” Jack argued, much to Rae’s dismay. 

“What is going on here” Corpse’s deep voice sounded out suddenly. 

“Oh, you’re here! Finally” Sykkuno immediately welcomed him with his always happy voice. 

“Yeah, sorry that I’m late guys.”

“No worries, man” Pewdiepie spoke up again. “We were just talking about playing the voice card and that you’re basically the only one who can do it.” 

“Not fair at all!” Rae chimed in, making Corpse chuckle. 

“The voice card...” he hummed after a moment, before adding. “I wouldn’t really say I’m the only one though...”

“Well who else then? Everyone else either starts laughing or have a liar voice” Dave asked, and Rae scoffed at the last words.

“Well what about my guest?”

Y/N inhaled sharply, realizing that now she should probably reveal herself. 

“Oh, right! Who you’re bringing man?” Sean asked with curiosity.

That’s when Y/N typed in the game code, and her white astronaut appeared in the lobby. 

“Wait, who’s- HOLY SHIT” Sean all but yelled, when realization hit him. Y/N laughed loudly at his reaction, and her voice only seemed to prove to everyone that she really was there. 

“KIDDO WHAT THE FUCK” Felix reflected Jack’s response, yelling over his friend.

“Oh my god, hi!”

“What a surprise!” Y/N managed to catch Sykkuno’s words. “It’s so amazing to have you here, Y/N/N!” 

“As I live and breathe.” another voice spoke up, and Toast’s little astronaut came face to face with her white bean. “My lifelong nemesis. Back here snap my neck again, huh?”

“Yeah, happy to hear you too, Toast” Y/N giggled at his words, then she adressed the whole group. “Hi guys.”

“Okay I did not expect that in the slightest” Sean laughed happily “You’re here kiddo!” 

“I am” she smiled from ear to ear, even though they couldn’t see her. 

“Wait- Corpse, is that the thing you had to take care of?” her best friend asked Corpse with suspicious voice. 

“Well...” he trailed off and cleared his throat, making everyone laugh.

“That’s so great Y/N! We missed you so much!” Rae thundered over the bickering of the boys. “The game hasn’t been the same without you...”

“Agreed. I suddenly stopped dying.” Toast commented, making her roll her eyes with a laugh. 

“I don’t know if I should be happy or fucking scared right now.” Felix laughed nervously. “With Corpse and Y/N? We’re fucked now, guys.”

“I promise I’ll go easy on you, I haven’t played in so long I think I forgot all my strategies...” 

“Yeah, sure.” Toast’s forever suspicious voice made her smile wider. “Just don’t kill me in the first roung, okay? I won’t vote you off just stay the fuck away from me you little murderer.” 

“Okay, I promise I won’t kill you...” 

She couldn’t stop herself from laughing, and the smile remained on her face even when they started the game. It only seemed to widen, when she saw the sign Imposter on her screen. 

Only to giggle hysterically when she realized that Toast was the other imposter...

And so the game went on with Y/N and Toast cooperating like perfect serial killers. Corpse did as he promised and guided her through the map, both of them being closely followed by Sykkuno. Because of that she’d just sabotage the map most of the time to give Toast opportunities to kill their friends, but eventually managed to sneak out when her two fellow crewmates were doing their tasks. It just so happen that Pewds was walking past her, and she might’ve accidentally snapped his neck... 

“Goddamnit! I knew it! I fucking knew it was you!” Sean yelled once the game was over and Y/N saw the sign VICTORY on her screen, her small character standing next to Toast’s one. He was ejected at some point because Poki managed to walk in on him killing Rae, but Y/N remained undetected until the very end. Perhaps the fact that Corpse was one of the two crewmates who were left alive had something to do wtih it...

“That was rude” Pewds said in a whiny voice, clearly referring to their encounter which led to his death. “I was just happily walking around, doing my tasks like a good crewmate, and then boom! Y/N happened” 

“I would say I’m sorry... but I’m really not” she laughed, making Felix gasp in shock.

“That’s what happens when you work with Toast!” 

“Good game, Y/N. That was amazing” the man in question said appreciatively. 

“Will you finally forgive me for killing you that one time if I say that being imposters with you was cool?” she laughed nervously. 

“Actually... Yeah, I guess we can bury the hatchet now. AND we should team up more in the future.”

“Great!” 

“Excuse me, what?” Corpse’s voice made the whole lobby laugh. “I don’t remember us cancelling our partnership, Y/N.”

“Corpse...” 

“Are you trying to steal my accomplice from me Toast?” 

“Well she’s a great partner in crime after all...” Toast deliberately used the phrase, making Corpse gasp.

“Hey! She’s my partner! Find yourself your own, Toast” Corpse joked, making Y/N laugh bashfully, her cheeks warming up at his words. 

“Yeah yeah, I remember, don’t worry man. No one’s gonna take your partner in crime away from you...” Toast’s teasing voice made them all laugh, Corpse and Y/N included. 

For the next few rounds Y/N played as a crewmate, running around the map with either Corpse or Sykkuno and doing her tasks. During meetings they joked and laughed, and for a moment, she stopped thinking about what people watching her friend’s streams might think about her presence. After all, there was at least a small chance that they didn’t think about it at all, and simply enjoyed watching their favoirte youtubers. Just as she enjoyed playing with her friends. 

Oh, and by the way, Corpse kept his promise and didn’t kill her even when she was the last player alive...

It was soon time when everyone started slowly leaving the lobby, having played for over three hours. Y/N also said her goodbyes to the others and promised that she’d join them to play a game called Raft next week. 

When she turned her computer off and threw herself on her bed, Y/N immediately grabbed her phone to call Corpse. He answered right away. 

“Well hello, partner...” she rolled her eyes with a smile when he accented the last word. “Or should I say, traitor, instead?” 

“Corpse... you know I would never betray you...” 

“Well how can I be so sure, now that I know how cool it is to be imposters with Toast?” she knew he was joking, she could almost hear the smile in his voice.

“Not nearly as cool as it is with you, Corpse” Y/N grinned from ear to ear when Corpse scoffed. 

“I spare your life so many times and that’s what I get in return? You cheat on me with Toast?” he said in disbelief “I’m disappointed, Y/N, I really am.”

“I would never!” she laughed through her words, even though her cheeks were now red because of Corpse’s words. “You’re the best partner in crime, Corpse, I wouldn’t trade you for anyone else!” 

Not only in the game, she thought.

“Hmm, alright. Let’s say I believe you.” he said after a moment of thinking. 

“I mean it, Corpse...” Y/N said after calming down from her laughter. “I... I really wanted to thank you.”

“Thank me? For what?” he asked, genuinely surprised. 

“Well, first of all for inviting me to today’s game... I really had lots of fun, it was great to play and talk with the others. And I wouldn’t be in the lobby if not for you...” Y/N mumbled, before verbalizing her previous thoughts. “And I also wanted to thank you for just... you know... being my friend. My real life partner in crime. I just wanted you to know I’m really glad I met you...” 

Corpse was silent for a good few moments, and Y/N started panicking that maybe she said something wrong, or maybe he found her spontaneous confession funny, or worse, dumb. She was almost ready to somehow laugh it all off, when his voice cut her off.

“Thank you, Y/N. It really means a lot to me too.” he sounded like he had some troubles with speaking, which made Y/N furrow her brows in worry.

“Is everything okay, Corpse?” 

“Yeah, I...” he stuttered, then laughed nervously. “I just didn’t expect that and... yeah. It’s not something I hear on a daily basis, especially from someone like you.”

Someone like me? 

 “But what you said... it’s mutual.” he said after a moment, and Y/N couldn’t stop herself from grinning like an idiot. “You’re the best partner in crime I could ask for. And not only in the game.” 

She could as well just pass out there and there...

“So uhm... there was one thing I wanted to ask you...”

“Yeah?”

“I was wondering if maybe... you know, if you’d have some time... and if you’d want to of course... would you maybe like to visit me here in San Diego?”

Yeah, passing out seems like a good idea. 

***

This is not the last part. 

TAG LIST: 

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[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S5 Ep 19: Yugi and the Only Neck Accessory He Didn’t Really Want to Wear

Been busy! Hopefully stuff will open up soon as I’m taking a hiatus on a different quarantine project and will be finishing painting the entire roof of my car this week? One can hope. Sanding the rust off the whole top of a car takes a long time it turns out?

Also, fun Yugioh fact, I recently painted a book cover for an author who is older so she’s never seen the show, and she looked at my tumblr, saw my Duke Devlin fanart and was like “That’s him. That’s my main character. OMG. You captured him perfectly!” and I was like “Ma’am that is Duke Devlin, hence the single dice earring on his lobes there, but we can work with this.” and now a spiritual Duke Devlin is on the cover of a Wuxia-style fantasy trilogy on the Vella. Had to give him a top knot and delete the eyeliner for Wuxia reasons but uh, that’s just Duke.

So long story short, fanart can get you work, don’t even worry about posting that stuff online because most people don’t even know it’s fanart anyway and older ladies freakin love it.

Back in Yugioh, the team was doing their best to navigate a map through the woods and they do about as well as they normally do.

And inside Tristan lifted up the floorboards and was like “I found the only way out, this is it, this is the only way.”

And they ended up in something that has a color scheme I would actually associate with a jungle. Finally. We have finally left California (in order to go to another Hell.)

Youknow, when we went to California, we visited Hell, and when we went to India, we also took a stop at the nearest death destination. There’s just so much death on this show and sometimes I forget because there’s been a ghost in our party for so freakin long it’s been normalized.

(read more death imagery under the cut)

Joey freaks out at a flock of crows and reveals in this episode something I never realized about him before.

Like I’m not always the perfect observer as I’m sure you’ve noticed, but I love that this is canon for probably only this episode, but I will never forget it for the entirety of this series.

You go on hating birds, Joey.

Bro was like “Maybe it’s a deep cut about Mai Valentine because she’s a harpy lady” but eh...pretty sure we spent like an entire season of Joey telling us that Mai was a good experience? Would be incredibly funny if immediately after all of S4, Joey was like “You know what? Screw Mai, guys.”

So my thoughts...it’s probably just a literal bird experience. Like I had a friend who hated deer because once she went to a petting zoo, got some pellets to feed the deer, but her finger was sticking up, so when the deer came over to nibble on some pellets her finger went up it’s nose by accident. She was so disgusted by this event that was entirely her fault, that she brought up how much she hated deer basically whenever we saw one.

So like...maybe Joey fed a bird wrong at a petting zoo. I can see him getting bit by a parrot because he was too Joey Wheeler.

But now that we’re in a graveyard neighborhood, Pharaoh decides to hop out because there’s a lot of ghosts here and he needs to practice socializing with his peers.

So that’s just a Yugioh monster doing the ostrich dance, right? Like this is a meme from like 2010 but on Yugioh in 2003(4?)

Good to see the Ostrich dance here in the land before Vine.

So they pull out their Pokemon to do some antics, Tea looked like she was about to do something useful, and Yami does a yump across time and space to get her as far away from playing (not)cards as quickly as possible and y’all...sure was a position these animators animated.

Holy crap.

And I was going off about that scene last season where they woke up in the same bed like...

...have these two been together this entire time? Like together together?

They’re like...way more comfortable than you’d figure they’d be considering Yugi nearly passes out every time he gets a hug. But Yami just like....How long has this been going on? As long as Joey’s fear of birds?

Like obviously this show would never cover what the hell Yugi may be thinking about this overreaching move here, because we’re gonna gloss right over that, and just run away up a flight of stairs. No one mentions this ever again. Which is mind blowing for an anime to do. I think in most anime I watch, the kids would be like “ahh ahhhh I bumped into a booooob!” like it does for I want to say every other episode of My Hero Academia. But in Yugioh, they saw that low hanging fruit and they were like “we expect a higher level of maturity out of our audience. Now here’s a fleet of ostrich dancing tree monsters with faces for crotches.”

They decided to sprint up this flight of stairs, and it enough of a slope to deter the monsters who are only unbalanced weird legs.

I want us to take a moment and admire this background painting. I can’t unsee the rocks that are all the same size, just piled on top of eachother. Did Alexander the Great just plop rocks here--or was the mountain made up of tons of similarly shaped boulders?

Like there’s a lot of nice bg’s in this arc, don’t get me wrong, but this one...I’m just trying to wrap my head around the logic of it.

At the top, they meet a pantheon, that is immediately blocked by this wall, because if this arc had a tagline, it’s “Yugi gets inconvenienced every 4 seconds.”

Bro was like “Clearly they would have pushed it over if Tea wasn’t slacking off” and like...she is actually. Look at her. Only used one hand? Slacker.

Joey was disappointed he couldn’t push over a massive wall, and the team decided not to analyze how much Joey Wheeler thinks of his own strength and instead fixate on these statues.

Usually in anthro characters they kinda look birdlike but act human. But what about an anthro that’s just a bird? Like human torso, but can turn his head 180 degrees? Yugioh made me ask this question.

And then Joey was like “wait, there may be a solution that isn’t just to use brute strength!”

Youknow it is a bummer that Kaiba couldn’t witness Joey own a dragon while he himself only has a robot jet dragon. Although, the jet is probably faster, stronger and overall...better than this baby dragon. It would have been great for Kaiba to witness Joey under-utilize this dragon and forget he has it for like huge swatches of the episode.

And then Grandpa pulled some body horror out of nowhere.

Wow.

I mean that is really gross.

I guess Grandpa can’t use Blue eyes, because Kaiba ripped it up, Grandpa can’t use Exodia because Weevil tossed it off a boat, and grandpa can’t use the card that’s just a building because...it’s a building.

So instead Grandpa has a bunch of meat and bones that look like something out of Doom. It’s probably from a more obscure Konami property, but I forget which.

I’ve seen Tristan hold back Joey in this hold, first time it’s been Tea.

So much shipping in this episode, it’s wild.

It’s also wild how low my standards are for what could possibly be shipping when it comes to Yugioh because of how freakin tepid all of these characters are, which as I’ve brought up before, I really don’t mind.

So Yugi decides that because Grandpa was folding his arms like one monster and it made a gem light up or something, to just do the video game thing and use the giant ass statues as clues.

Why was this arc not a video game? Like parts of it really feel like it was meant to be.

So Yugi falls down a hole, where the walls cave in like it’s that dumpster in Star Wars but like...it barely phases him.

Also...Yugi might be able to see in the dark. It’s never been brought up but like...the more I think about it...has Yugi ever struggled to see without the lights on?

After Joey disappoints everyone, he confronts death.

And Pharaoh and Yugi decide to solve the puzzle of “how do I get out of this trap dungeon room” which, honestly, is probably what they’re doing every time they hang out in the brain pyramid.

So they summon their mascot monster, and surprisingly the show decided its ability to fly cannot help them out here.

Kuriboh manages to become enough of a doormat to push Yami up to the stone and they end up in a set of weird cuts that ended in this?

Like seriously it was like flashes of light and then they were just...up here like this.

Hey like...

Alexander the Great, my man...

Were you planning to put that stone in the middle of a exhaust vent hoping someone would touch it? Because there’s no way anyone would rationally have done that. You would need to fly to do it. This is the world’s worst DM.

Like Yugioh pulls a lot of fantasy nonsense but this arc is a lot more like a “it’s a kid’s show, just go with it.” arc than most of them. It’s not a bad vibe, necessarily, it’s just not the vibe I’m used to.

So once I witnessed maybe the most boring conversation I’ve ever witnessed about corn (this was on a twitch stream, by the way, a guy was playing an interesting game, and then a guest came on and started talking about corn and plants for 2 hours) and they would not shut up about how all taxonomy is wrong because there are no such thing as trees and how all animals are labelled incorrectly, and then they started comparing it to like all sorts of mushrooms and phytoplankton as you would if you clearly got a little bit high before dumping your corn knowledge on a twitch stream.

Anyway, after that bizarre experience I suffered so I could learn how to play an obscure video game, I think I can safely say, that while I know everyone here thinks a bird can’t be a dog. If you’re a high biologist: a bird is absolutely a dog. Apparently you can just do that if you’re the most boring biologist alive and no one will argue with you because to do that would involve talking to you. We’ll just say a bird is a dog and no one can fight me or I will talk about the corn book that this guest on this twitch chat was thinking about renting from the library about the different types of corn mutations inherent in freakin Indiana. Therefore, Joey’s fear of birds and dogs is same.

So they use Dark Magician to save them from the statues, and Yugi busts into the pantheon again because they got to open this casket before a time limit that I kind of forgot about, tbh.

And inside the casket, is...this thing!

(enjoy this line on the bottom of the image I don’t feel like fixing it)

And you may say to yourself...it looks like it’s just floating in mid-air, that’s silly, and so I want to introduce you to the next panel where you can see that it is...quite literally...just floating in the air like a video game.

and it just slurps itself onto Yugi before he can be like “nonono.”

Wasn’t there some horror movie where you were stuck in some sort of body brace that slowly tortures you (was that Saw?) This has that vibes. Like man that looks uncomfortable to wear over a jacket and two belts and a collar that is another belt.

That and I...I gotta appreciate that Yugi popped his collar while wearing body armor and chunky necklace. What 00′s fashion appreciation right there.

Bit like...this isn’t breathable, right? Like Yugi’s gonna finally take this thing off and his jacket will just be completely soaked in sweat?

Anyway, that’s it for this post, next week we’ll see if Yugi can walk through a doorway in that thing.

Also, I can’t bring up the ostrich dance without sharing the vines of my generation

[365days365movies]

May 7, 2021: TRON (1982)

Starting to leave lo-fi sci-fi with this one.

Can I just say, I am VERY excited for this one. Mostly because it’s hard to get more ‘80s than this movie, specifically in terms of computers. I’ll explain. Y’know Jurassic Park? Yeah, the same movie I’ve brought up far, FAR too many times this month. Is...is that my favorite sci-fi movie? Shit, it might be? I’ve read the books, I’ve seen the movie COUNTLESS times...I’m pretty sure it is! Huh. Go figure. Anyway, where was I?

Oh, right! Remember the most irritating character in the movie? This is, in my opinion, older sister Lex Murphy. In the book, for the record, she’s a VERY different character. She’s the youngest sibling amongst the two, and she’s a sports nerd who hates dinosaurs. And she’s also the most annoying character in the book, so at least they kept that consistent. However, you may be saying to yourself: “Jesus, this dude really loves Jurassic Park. Even in the intro for Tron, he’s talking about it. Why the hell does he keep bringing it up?”

Well, allow me to explain. When I was 9 years old, I was super into two things: dinosaurs and reading. You may think that I wasn’t very popular in school as a result. And the truth won’t surprise you. Anyway, on January 3rd, 2001, it was a cold morning in the supermarket when

...OK, lemme get to the point. IT’S A UNIX SYSTEM!

See, this moment when Lex hacks into the computer to reactivate the locks (a task given to Tim in the book, but whatever) does two things. One, it makes Lex relevant in a film and story where she’s almost entirely unneeded. And two, it established something in the minds of movie-watchers everywhere: a completely misguided idea of what computer programming is.

And this is just one of MANY examples of Hollywood weirdly representing computers to the public. This was kind of a trend throughout the ‘80s and ‘90s, as computers were beginning to become available to the public. Examples are:

WarGames (1983), dir. John Badham

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991), dir. James Cameron

Revenge of the Nerds (1984), dir. Jeff Kanew

Weird Science (1985), dir, John Hughes

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014), dir. Russo Bros

That last one isn’t a great example, and it’s not even within the right time period. I just love Arnim Zola, and he NEEDS TO RETURN to the MCU. Goddamn it, I want this guy back, complete with his full robot body! COME ON FIEGE, LOOK AT THIS GUY! That last one may or may not be my fanart for the character with my own design NEVERTHEGODDAMNLESS!

Look, all you gotta do is connect the various machinations of Arnim Zola to the foundations of AIM, which is easy given their link in the comics. Zola and his fellow Paperclip scientists helped fund Aldrich Killian’s AIM, and the project to give Zola his sick-ass robot body eventually wound up being a part of the project that would create the hovering robotic chair used by this guy.

THIS IS ALL I’VE EVER WANTED PLEASE

...Ahem.

Anyway, the weird-ass ways that Hollywood’s represented computers, hacking, and all other associated things can be traced back to 1982, when the first film to use mostly computer generated imagery for its setting was created. This was, of course, Disney’s TRON. And while I haven’t seen it before...I’ve see its sequel in theaters?

On a related note, Tron Legacy might be a mediocre film with a mediocre soundtrack, but GODDAMN DO IT LOVE THE FUCKING VISUALS. It’s genuinely my favorite aesthetic. That whole “outlined in light” thing? Goooooooh, BABY, how I love it.

Style over substance, but OH THE FUCKING STYLE

Anyway, despite that, I’m looking forward to seeing where the whole thing came from. I dig that style, too. Is there a name for those aesthetics? Let me know, so I can devote my life to it forever. Anyway, shall we get started?

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

So, we start this movie off with a BANG, jumping into an arcade where two kids are playing none other than Lightcycle, and jumping into said Lightcycles to meet one of the drivers, Sark (David Warner). A sadistic program, he takes great pleasure in executing programs in Lightcycle races.

One of these programs, in fact, is being brought into imprisonment now, to be set against Sark in a race. The program, Crom (Peter Jurasik), speaks with fellow prisoner Ram (Dan Shor), where we get some idea of the lore of this place. Many programs believe in “the Users”, god-like figures who they believe created them and tell them what to do. However, the mysterious Master Control Program is rounding up the programs that believe in Users, taking over their functions or executing them. Diggin’ the lore so far.

In the real world, we meet Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges), a computer programmer commanding his own program, Clu (also Bridges), and...look, I’m not sure what they’re doing, but OHHH. IT’S A UNIX SYSTEM, BABY. The beautiful bullshit that this movie uses to denote computer activity and programming, it’s...MMMMMMMMMCHEF’SKISS, it’s so FUCKING GOOD!

Anyway, Clu’s apparently being sent to find some information, but he’s caught by Master Control. Jeff Bridges shows off some pretty over-the-top acting, but it’s charming as hell. Clu’s interrogated by Master Control Program (also Warner), and killed, or “derezzed”. This frustrates Flynn, but why?

Well, we get a clue from MCPs concentration with Ed Dillinger (David Warner), who arrives at his office in the COOLEST FUCKING HELICOPTER I HAVE EVER SEEN. I will never make enough money to have this helicopter, but maybe one day I can do it to a car, holy shit. Anyway, Dillinger lands and enters the ENCOM building, where he speaks with his computer table, which contains MCP.

Is this a thing with computer programmers? Do they, like, physically talk to their programs, and the programs talk back? Is this a thing that happens? Are the conversations interesting? Are IT people literally computer-whisperers? I gotta talk to my friends in computer sciences and IT about this.

Apparently, Flynn’s been snooping around their servers for a specific file, and they’re trying to stop him from getting that file. Meanwhile, in an office in the building, a man named Alan Bradley (Bruce Boxleitner) is blocked out of the system in an attempt to flush out Flynn’s location. Bradley’s summoned to the office for what seems like a routine interview, but is actually more of an investigation. Doesn’t go anywhere.

On a side note, by the way, it would appear that MCP is somewhat in control of Dillinger. Although, how and why is unknown. In any case, he’s attempting to amass power. Additionally, the fact that he’s directly speaking to one of the Users is...interesting. And on a second side note, Bradley is preparing something, a security program called “Tron”. That might come up later.

MEANWHILE, elsewhere in the building, a group of scientists are conducting an experiment to digitize solid matter and transport it into computers. It succeeds with an orange, much to their delight and celebration. One of these scientists is Lora Baines (Cindy Morgan), Flynn’s ex-girlfriend and Alan’s current girlfriend. They go to the arcade to reconvene with Flynn, much to Alan’s irritation.

Flynn not only owns the place, he’s also a game whiz, brilliant computer programmer, and recently fired ex-employee of ENCOM. He’s also been sneaking into the ENCOM system, and he details exactly why he’s moving against them. While working for ENCOM, he had started writing programs for some very complex video games, which could’ve have made him quite a bit of money. But Dillinger stole his files, and uses it to climb up the ranks to Senior Executive of ENCOM, while Flynn lounges in relative poverty. He’s planning on getting into the system to get evidence of Dillinger’s wrongdoing.

The trio plots to take down Dillinger and get the evidence together, breaking into ENCOM that night. Meanwhile, Dillinger’s meeting with Walter Gibbs (Barnard Hughes), a co-founder of the company, and one of the other scientists who made the digitizing machine. Dillinger says YOUR TIME IS OVER OLD MAN, and brushes off his concerns about he’s handing the company.

He’s not the only one with issues, as MCP decides to take over FOR Dillinger. Apparently, Dillinger’s talents are stealing data and creating Cybernet/HAL 9000. Good job, buddy. But that may end, when Alan goes to finish and install his program, Tron, which will hopefully take MCP down. Meanwhile, Lora and Flynn go to the basement with the digitizing machine. At the computer terminal, MCP decides to stop Flynn by...well, you know where this is headed.

Yup! Flynn’s brought into the computer by Lora’s machine, and is digitized and put into the game grid. And since we’ll be spending a lot of time there, I think I need to acknowledge something: I really love how this movie looks. The CGI is rudimentary, but it’s used surprisingly well. Consider that this is also made in an era where this is the kind of imagery that computers could literally generate at the time, and you’ve got a pretty great movie in-context.

Flynn, now in those spiffy program duds, is sent by the MCP to compete in the Game Grid, under Sark’s supervision and tutelage. He’s thrown into the brig with the other imprisoned programs, where he learns more about this world. Once brought into the throes of the Game Grid, he’s told that those who believe in the Users are to be trained poorly, ensuring their inevitable death. Meanwhile, those who renounce their belief will be spared. And of all the programs who still believe in the Users, there is none quite as powerful...as Tron (Bruce Boxleitner again).

We see Tron’s badass skills in Ultimate Frisbee. And OK, it’s not Ultimate Frisbee, but you throw discs that contain all of your essence and all of the things you’ve learned in your time there. You basically pour your entire essence and being into the disc as you throw it. So, really, it is Ultimate Frisbee, according to that one dude who’s REALLY into Ultimate Frisbee.

Flynn is commanded to play one of these games, and he winds fairly easily. However, when he defeats his opponent, he’s almost about to die. However, Flynn refuses to finish him off, leading Sark to do so instead. And Sark is tempted to kill Flynn as well, but he holds off at the last moment.

Flynn finally gets to meet Tron, where he feigns being a program that knows of his User, Alan. Of course, Tron looks exactly like Alan, which is why Flynn blurts out his name. But as they’re discussing this, Flynn, Tron, and fellow prisoner Ram are sent to compete in the Lightcycles. And, yes, I’m now looking for a game like this on my phone, because GODDAMN to I love Lightcycles. Can’t WAIT for the Disney World ride, oh my GOOOOD. 

So, our guys get in the Lightcycles, and they outmaneuver Sark’s guys. They’re actually able to escape the arena and the Game Grid, making it outside the citadel. They encounter a, uh, bitstream, and soak up some energy before moving on. On the way, though, they’re nearly killed by Sark’s guys in tanks, and Tron is separated from Flynn an the unconscious Ram.

Flynn and Ram finds a place to rest and hide, and Flynn discovers that, as a User, he actually has the ability to somewhat manipulate the reality within the computer, and he makes a version of MCPs ships, the Recognizers, which resemble the villains in Flynn’s game that Dillinger stole. Now realizing that Flynn is a user, Ram asks him to help Tron, before dying and disappearing into pure code. Whoof.

Tron, meanwhile, ends up finding an input/output program named Yori (Cindy Morgan), who helps him in his escape. She takes him through the city, where we see some interesting designs for control programs, almost like a Hunger Games Panem sort of deal.

Flynn has trouble driving his ship, as he meets a “bit”, a small bit of data that only answers in yes or no. He, too, ends up in the city, and you start to notice that this film has a really heavy influence in our cyberpunk concepts and fashions today. Honestly, I really dig this whole thing. Kevin uses his programming powers to disguise himself as one of Sark’s guards, while Yori and Tron find their way through the main citadel of the guards.

They make their way through to the access tower, where they ask the program Dumont (Barnard Hughes again) to let them access the interface that will allow them to speak with the Users, specifically Alan. Reluctantly, Dumont agrees to let Tron through, where he goes to the access port. Which, for the record, looks awesome. He goes to speak with Alan, and he does that one pose. Y’know, the famous Tron pose that’s on the poster?

Yeah, that’s the good stuff. Anyway, he gets information written onto his disc that’ll allow him to kill MCP. Neat. And unfortunately, that’s exactly when Sark and his guys show up, taking Dumont away as Tron and Yori escape. Yori gets them onto a Solar Sailer, a device that will transport them to the central computer. Tron fends off some of Sark’s guys with video game noise kicks, and the Solar Sailer arrives to take them away.

Sark chases after them, but the pair manage to outrun his very cool-looking ship. MCP threatens to destroy Sark for his failure, but he promises that he’ll be able to get them. On the ship, Tron looks down at the side to see Flynn hanging on. Turns out that he was one of the guards that attacked the two. Tron pulls him up onto the ship, and Flynn reveals that he is, in fact, a user. He also reveals that Users aren’t exactly the gods that programs believe them to be.

Anyway, how’s Dumont doing?

Ah.

Well, the Recognizers find Tron, Yori, and Flynn, and chase after them on the light beam the Solar Sailer is on. However, with his User powers, Flynn manages to get the Sailer onto a different beam, while pulses on the original beam destroy the Recognizers.

Doesn’t end up mattering much, though, as Sark finally catches up and intercepts the group. The Solar Sailer is destroyed, and Yori and Flynn are thrown in the brig with Dumont, who’s still alive! Can’t say quite as much for Tron, apparently. But, again, I can only assume that Ton is still alive. We’ll see, though. Sark denies Flynn’s identity as a User for some reason (I mean, MCP told you who he was, but OK), and he sentences them all to death. Outside the ship, of course, is Tron, who’s hiding and waiting for the right time to strike. And that is when we finally see him.

Glorious. Absolutely goddamn glorious. MCP is taking the remaining programs that believe in Users, Dumont included, and incorporating them into his mass. Meanwhile, Sark has found Tron, and the two are fighting with a classic game of Ultimate Frisbee. Tron nearly defeats Sark entirely, but MCP revives him, and gives him the power to take out Tron. He grows gigantic, and it looks genuinely really convincing.

Flynn prepares to take out MCP once and for all, and kisses Yori just beforehand, which is weird as shit. He jumps into the program, and controls it just long enough for Tron to throw his disc at it and land the finishing blow. And with that, MCP is ended, and the threat of take over is gone! The I/O towers light up, and the Video Warriors have won! Don’t ask me what that means, I study birds.

And with ALL OF THAT DONE, Flynn gets the proof he needs from a print-out that, to be honest, I feel like he could’ve just typed up himself. It doesn’t look like that much. But, still, MCP is gone, Dillinger’s screwed, and Flynn now gets a cool-looking helicopter of his own, as the new CEO of ENCOM. And from there, he will become a deadbeat dad that abandons his kid to live in computers forever. Or something like that, it’s been a while since I’ve seen Tron Legacy.

And that’s Tron, a goofy movie of its time, but one that’s a lot of fun all the same. And with some effects that, to be honest...I actually really liked! But more on that...IN THE REVIEW! See you there!

[iaintyourbro]

Shipping Makes Me Question My Sanity

I learned about the FFVII waifu wars after playing the remake. I played the OG many moons ago, replayed it a few years ago, but really got interested in the character dynamics after playing FFVIIR. 

I foolishly looked up “Is the remake pushing Cloud and Tifa more?” I found the shipping wars... That I never knew existed. 

You see, I played the OG and it was pretty clear to me that the story went a certain way. In fact, I didn’t even associate FFVII to romance. 

FFVII was a story about a villain who was pissed off that a grunt killed him, so he finds a way to come back from the dead through clones that his father made to fuck with said grunt and get revenge on all the humans that wronged his Mother. 

(This is my explanation in as few words as possible, because we all know explaining FFVII would take multiple posts). 

So why did I look up my question about Cloud and Tifa? Well, I was shocked at how they presented them. I didn’t remember this from the OG. Like I said, I didn’t associate FFVII to romance like I did with VIII, IX, and X. Those were clear. FFVII didn’t have this as a main theme. FFVIIR created extreme sexual tension between Cloud and Tifa. 

I remember when you finally found out Cloud wasn’t a SOLDIER, that he actually DID kill Sephiroth 5 years ago, and that he did come to save Tifa - he fulfilled his promise. The part when the main theme plays and he takes his helmet off... chills. Even now, I love that part. Still, I associated this with us finally getting answers to some of the weird shit that happens earlier in the game. And I was way too young and dense to understand the Under the Highwind scene. 

Needless to say, I wanted to see if others had the same impression. It seems they did, and those posts were then overpowered by the other side. “Yeah, I used to ship Cloti, but the remake made me see that it’s clearly Aerith.” What? What did I miss? 

So I questioned my sanity a bit. I played every quest - I did both Tifa and Aerith’s discovery quests. Until the point we get back to Tifa in Wall Market, I still was kind of iffy on how they were presenting Aerith and Cloud. They removed a lot of stuff from the OG that was a bit more direct from Cloud’s end. They also removed a lot of the jealousy scenes between Tifa and Aerith. Seems they gave all the jealousy to Cloud in other scenes. 

Cloud clearly is soft with Tifa. He remembers The Promise, he calls her beautiful, you have no choice but to give her the flower. No matter what choices you make with Aerith. He still gives her the flower. He gets jealous whenever he even thinks a guy is talking about her in a romantic/sexual way.

Then I see things like “Cloud was so emotionless and mean until Chapter 8″. HOW? And this goes beyond Tifa. Cloud had a ton of character growth during the first 3 chapters, and it continued on until Chapter 8. This was not something where he suddenly turned nice to Aerith. He had a ton of people help him out before.

Take Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie. Cloud was a dick to them. I mean, he really was. I was sad for Wedge, cuz I think he’s so nice, and Cloud was just mean to him. By the end of Chapter 4, he’s much nicer to them. He’s left out of their celebration, and I think maybe this was a reference to him as a child. He thought he was better than the other kids (except Tifa). He treated everybody like shit (except Tifa) in the first three chapters and Barret told him to gtfo. 

Jessie made sure to let him know she wanted him there. Now, I’m not a fan of how thirsty Jessie is. I mean they REALLY slam it on you how bad she wants to get with Cloud. Cloud then says what I was thinking “Are you seriously that desperate?!” Yes, she is, and it’s obnoxious, but I think it’s a hilarious addition to the story. However, I think it was a light bulb moment that he would be included if he was a bit nicer to people.

Cloud and Barret start getting along more as time goes on as well. This is all before Chapter 8. So I actually have commented on these posts... “Did you play the first 7 chapters? Did you play the rest of the game?” There’s so many points during FFVIIR where Cloud clearly has character development outside of what Tifa and Aerith do. 

They ignore this. That’s my issue. The ignore everything else in the story. They ignore reality, so that makes people like me question themselves.

It reminds me of a personal situation with my job. We had a really bad leader. Like, cruel, mean. And he got away with it for a long time. You can say, “just leave”, but I think anybody with a family knows that’s not as easy as it sounds. Not when you rely on your job for not only income, but benefits, retirement, and stability. Not when changing buildings causes months of legit mental breakdowns (imagine changing companies completely?). So, it wasn’t really an option.

The worst part during all of that was knowing and seeing the reality of what was going on and having people flat out try to tell me that what I was seeing wasn’t true. I had conversations with other co-workers who started to question their sanity. Is it us? Are we the problem? Are we wrong? What are we missing? And that’s tough, especially when it goes on for so long.

In the real life example, there was a resolution earlier this year, where finally the guy was fired. And a lot of people were fighting him. More than you’d think. But they were scared, so they had to be careful. This is real life, not a game, so the stakes were much higher. The truth all comes out after this type of thing, and it was actually worse than we thought. There was a lot we missed, and a lot we just weren’t aware of. We weren’t crazy - there was just a group of his followers trying to brainwash us in to thinking he was great. 

The shipping wars give me the same feelings I had during that. I question my sanity and don’t get what I’m missing. This is beyond how you interpret the LTD. This is legit ignoring parts of the story as it’s presented. SE put these Cloti moments throughout the Remake to make a point. They have Aerith say things to make a point. They even have Aerith stop making moves on Cloud after Tifa comes back and she sees the obvious “thing” between them.

There are tons of analysis on multiple scenes and how Cloud reacts. Facial expressions tell a lot, so does voice acting. There are reasons they put these scenes in. There are reasons they are part of the main story and not part of side quests. There are reasons that the devs responded the way they did in interviews. 

The Ultimania clearly talks about Cloud’s feelings. The OG talks about them. 

So why do I still feel upset when I see these? Well, for one, the posters that say “I was a Cloti until..” in most cases are probably shipping the other side, but this is a great way to make people question themselves. It may make new fans not enjoy the story as much.

Then you have Twitter. And it’s a shame, because there’s some great fanart on Twitter. But, you can’t search for “tifa” without seeing some really bad posts. And it’s the same accounts over and over. There isn’t a large amount. 

The entire goal of these posters is to fight people who don’t agree with them. They also start posting similar complaints about a week after the Cloti side makes them.

The most recent being that Cloti fans are going after Nojima and it’s not going to change anything. What? I saw a similar post about the C////erith side about a week or two ago. Why are Cloti’s going after Nojima? So I went through some of his posts. I found one where he posted about FF7R. The only Cloti posts I saw were thanking him. The C///erith ones were over the top trying to say how it was all C///erith and there was no Cloti in the remake. One even said that “millions of fans want Aerith to survive.” No, I’d say the majority of fans want the original plot points to stay. 

Nojima himself liked a fanart of himself... where they called him the Cloti king.

So where are the Cloti’s going after Nojima? I only saw praise... 

The next new one is that C///eriths aren’t racist and Cloti’s are. I’ve seen this argument in reverse as well. It seems they scope out some things and repost them in the opposite argument. 

I just don’t understand the extreme nature. You can ship who you want, but you can’t erase parts of the story to make it work. Why even bother playing the game? The romance aspect is SO SMALL in the OG. 

In the remake its a bit heavier, but it’s different times. Sex sells. Let’s add some spice to the game, and they did. I felt no sexual tension between Cloud and Aerith. Jessie tried HARD. The only mutual tension felt was between Cloud and Tifa. That deep, dear lord please do something to release this tension, feeling. Cloud and Aerith had cute little moments similar to a Disney movie or a kids movie. Tifa and Cloud had the moments you see in more mature things. 

Some of these moments are optional - the resolution scene you can technically avoid every time you play if you choose to. The Clotiscrew tunnel roll is a bit harder unless you KNOW you can avoid it and/or are terrible at the game. You literally have to try hard to mess up to not get that scene. 

The Clotiscrew tunnel scene is also hilarious to watch people react to. Cuz you do feel like you need to take a quick walk to cool off from that heat. Even my husband who doesn’t give a shit was like “wow, yeah, okay, that’s... intense.” 

It didn’t have to be, it could have been a roll and release, but he holds her and says “You okay?” in that soft af voice THAT HE ONLY USES ON HER. Her response is equally sexy. Then they get up and stare. Once again, not necessary.

All the “unnecessary” touching that goes on is fun to point out. People are still finding moments, I think. During battles, in the background during other scenes. They’re making this a point. They make it a point to show shots of those two during other scenes in the game. They aren’t being subtle anymore. 

So I don’t understand how you can erase all of that. 

The other side has a small group that is completely shitting on Tifa to do it. I don’t see that as much on the Cloti side towards Aerith. I’m not saying it doesn’t exist, I bet it does, but it’s not as easy to find. Almost EVERY shipping fight has something about Tifa’s boobs, Tifa not telling Cloud about his past, something. They make stuff up in some cases.

All of this is a way to recruit people to their side. To “convert” them. I feel bad for the streamers who like Tifa and you see a group come in to try and “correct” that thought. Why do they care so much? 

Maximillian Dood doesn’t seem affected by those opinions - he’s a great supporter of Tifa as a character. He was very happy with the way they handled the remake, and that says a lot. He also has some great reactions to parts of the game. He also is a more experienced streamer, it seems.

My thoughts are... the Remake has blown expectations on how it was supposed to go. Probably a lot of fans assumed they’d make a point to build up Aerith as the love interest... but they didn’t. Tifa is in almost every chapter (2 is the exception). She is referenced multiple times in Wall Market - especially if you actually listen to the lyrics for Midgar Blues. Why place that song in during that part? 

So we go to the attack mode of survival here. They’re going to change as many opinions as possible. They’re going to make people question themselves. Make people feel bad. 

The reality is, there’s a clear cut story - they’re making it that way. There’s multiple hints that there isn’t going to be a love triangle. There’s multiple hints that Zack is going to be a thing in the Remake. They’ve definitely put it on more heavy that Aerith still loves Zack. 

I can only hope that things are made clear. That this can stop. I still say people should ship who they want. Hell, I ship Vincent and Lucrecia (this was my only romantic love in the OG back then...). However, canon is that Hojo and Lucrecia married and had a child. I wanted Vincent to secretly be the father so bad, but he’s not. That doesn’t ruin the game for me, at all. 

It would ruin the game for me, in a sense, if they completely pull a 180 in Part 2 and try to “remove” all of the stuff from Part 1 from a character dynamics perspective. It would feel wrong for Aerith to tell Cloud not to fall in love with her, tell him that everything isn’t real if he does, and also have her back off completely after Tifa is back, and then all of a sudden throw herself at him. It would erase all the friendship scenes between Tifa and Aerith.

And how could you just “turn off” Cloud’s attentive nature to Tifa? It wouldn’t make sense. It would ruin it for me because that is legit trying to erase parts of the story.

I don’t think that will happen. But I still get anxious when I see shit on the internet.

[greatfay]

what kind of bad fandoms you in?

Off the top of my head? Like most of them lol. But for the things I’m currently watching/reading?

HxH. The good parts of the fandom just post fanart and memes, the bad parts post essays on reddit about how “the Chimera Ant Arc is the greatest arc in all of shounen and if you don’t think so then there’s just too much depth for you to fully comprehend, also I’m going to ignore the montage during that arc that demonstrated how capitalist greed, political corruption, police brutality, nuclear warfare, economic inequality, and propaganda demonstrate humanity’s true evil because Hurr Durr Ants Have Feelings and also I’m going to misgender all of the GNC characters introduced this arc did I mention I’m so smart?” that and the Ging apologists who think he’s this chess-master role model father sends me. If I hear someone say the word “subversive” one more time... and why is there so much cisnormative homophobic BS in this fandom? Even when I encounter the good part, I’ll see comments added on attacking the OP or saying shady shit, like what’s going on.

Berserk. I can’t with all the Donavon jokes and potato Casca jokes and, much like with the HxH fandom’s dark side, there’s a very pretentious self-important lot who love to hype out how “layered and dark and subversive” the manga is to inflate their own importance for being Manga Connoisseurs that read it and then they go on to make more child r*pe jokes and also defend every creative decision Miura makes. Like... I’m not “unable to fully appreciate and understand the tone and message that the Genius Miura is trying to invoke,” I quite understand, I’m just not a pervert fuckface who gets off on r*pe scenes. And I’m not alone, but since there are like maybe 10 other dudes in this fandom without brain rot and it’s a Hostile Fandom Space for women, and also queer dudes, and also people of color, it’s hard to get a good consensus.

AOT. There are people who have written the series off due to the author’s Imperialist Japan viewpoint and latched on to the conspiracy that he’s a holocaust denier and vilified Jewish stand-ins in his work; these people have, strangely enough, remained in the fandom to then remind everyone of this and repeatedly share that polygon article that has so much reaching you’d think Reed Richards had written it. The author of AOT is a brainwashed nationalist idiot, and it just so happens that he, whether he realizes it or not, has written his main cast (the heroes, the protagonists) to be analogues of the real-world Jewish people (specifically Ashkenazi Jews) combatting oppression and the deliberate annihilation of their people. I don’t think he did this on purpose, especially if he is indeed anti-Semitic, but that’s how it turned out, and stranger still is how he’s explored over the course of (idk the arcs I’m going by the anime) 2+ seasons how the State can lie and manipulate its people to increase nationalism and military power—the opposite of what some have claimed his manga is about (promoting imperialism and glorifying isolationist views and making the military and police seem cool). Despite writing this kind of story, he seems unable to question his own political views in the real world. Which isn’t my problem. Still, it’s complicated, we don’t have full answers, all we have is a very well-paced, well-written, mature manga with great plot twists and a masterclass of suspense and mystery, and now even reblogging an AOT gif can get you blacklisted.

Kingdom Hearts. This fandom is 90% chill people who want to cry and love it, they hear the first two notes of Dearly Beloved and already they’re like “fuck... emotions... I haven’t felt these in eons” and for that they’re valid. Great fanart, everything gif’d to hell and back (when I tell you for 15 years this fandom gif’d every possible frame out of just 12 collective minutes of the Good Graphics during the beginning and ending cinematic scenes). The bad part of the fandom is annoyingly homophobic and use shipper strawmen to spout out bigoted nonsense, and there’s another part of the fandom consisting of (some, not all) speed-runners who think the games should be designed with their play style in mind, fuck everyone else. I only encounter this bad 10% when watching Let’s Plays; even the Kingdom Hearts subreddit is a nice place and gets gay af sometimes, and everyone rolls with it.

Star Wars. The most recent SW stuff has not been consistently... good, but I enjoy Star Wars just for the feel of Star Wars. There are people who hate everything SW that’s come out recently and make their voices known but are still IN THE FANDOM. They’re still here, hating EVERYTHING. It’s just so disruptive to the normal fun fandom stuff because they’re everywhere, like if you’re not having fun you can leave. Go rant about the Wimminfolk and Blacks are Ruining Everything and whatever violent, disgusting thing you want to do to Kathleen Kennedy that definitely is an isolated feeling and not at all how you feel about women in general. Like parts of the SW fandom is the opposite of Berserk and HxH; with those, I’ve been critical of things while still enjoying the media, but any critical statement gets nitpicked and the vultures come. SW? It’s the overly hypercritical “ess jay dubba u” shit that drives me up the wall. Every flaw in the new SW stuff can be pointed to screenplay issues and contradictions but, gee, it must be cuz a Wimmin is in it. Fucking whatever.

[dotthings]

Okay SPN 15.04, here we go, where I feel weirdly self-conscious about posting a meta post about an ep that had so much meta on itself and now I’m going to write meta about it, so it’s meta on meta on meta, while I’m having my feelings.

THAT COLD OPEN HOLY CRAP DIRECTOR JENSEN. As a director Jensen always pulls out warm performances from actors and he’s a really kinetic director too. That opening fight sequence I held my breath for a lot of it. 

BENNY OH NOES IT’S BENNY (this must be the character Jensen said was one of his favorites and the actor came back to set for one day to do it). “I’ll see you on the other side, brother.” Thanks so MUCH, spn, I thought I was over this and then you come in and reopen that and now I’ve got feelings gdi. Benny was a good friend to Dean. My heart hurts. 

Ohshitohshitohshitohshit demon blood Sam. Noooooo. And he kills Dean. I can never erase these images from my mind, thanks a LOT spn. 

Just a nightmare of Sam’s except no probably not given Sam’s god-wound, so wow this maybe happens on one of Chuck’s other worlds, that’s fine, oh that’s okay I’m fiiiiine, it’s fine. *covers face*

So we have a flip on early S14 here where Dean was turtling to cope with his trauma which is a healthy thing to do but hiding from the world wasn’t going to fix anything so Sam coaxes him out with a hunt. Dean coaxes Sam out with a hunt only I don’t think hunting works for Sam the same way, it’s not Sam’s mental comfort food the way it is for Dean, but still I appreciate the mirroring there.

Sam’s struggling with Rowena’s death and I think those horrific AU nightmare visions aren’t helping much either, but it’s clear he’s feeling the loss. Her loss, all the recent losses.

Dean trolls Sam with real bacon, which seems like Dean is maybe trying to cheer Sam up by pranking him and trying to cheer himself up via food pranks. Dean has quite the case of the munchies in this ep. 

I noticed almost every scene Dean is snacking or drinking from his flask. How’s that whole “Cas walked out and left apparently for good” working out for you Dean, wow, you’re suspiciously chipper while stuffing your face and drinking and Not Talking About It. Did Sam and Dean talk about where’s Cas? Who knows, the ep didn’t mention it, hey SPN you needed a Cas mention, OH WAIT THE EP IS GOING TO CALL ME OUT FOR SAYING THAT.

Seriously though, this is very Dean MO, and I have thoughts about his mood in this ep and how Cas’s absence was felt, and what it means, I’ll get to that later, but even before the last scene Impala talk, I was thinking Cas is a reminder of pain--and no it’s not all about Dean’s anger at Cas, it’s not because Dean is angry at Cas. Cas is a reminder of some things Dean just isn’t coping with very well and part of the problem is Dean cares so much. 

So Dean’s snacking and drinking and Sam is feeling the weight of them knowing all the scary things out there while people go on obliviously with their lives and I’m not sure if Sam is envying them or Sam is feeling some existential angst about the state of the world, how people can go about their lives unaware there are real monsters ready to pounce and tear their lives to shreds. And feeling the weight of the job they do in every bone of his body. Sam’s in a dark headspace.

Ok I admit I was not thrilled to see Becky again given her previous episodes and role. SPN’s later in-canon fan characters were much more nuanced and successful and respectful depictions of fans. But as with many other things, this era of SPN is revisiting some things to move them forward in a different way than before, and subvert some things that needed subverting and Becky has had--wait for it--character development. How about that.

Yes, Becky, run, you do not want anything to do with Chuck. Run, Becky run. I’m rooting for her now. RUNNNN.

Along with finding a more constructive way of channeling her interest in the Winchesters’ lives, and having a satisfying fandom creative life and a full life of her own, Becky has funko pops of Sam, Dean, and Cas. LOL. I see you spn. 

Dean, still with the case of the munchies. So this is like the eating a whole pint of ice-cream after a break-up, only Dean does it with junk food while hunting vampires.

I enjoyed this conversation between Becky and Chuck about writing immensely. Becky is actually right. Speaking myself as someone who’s suffered from writers block for a while, it’s miserable, and not writing just perpetuates the cycle. You feel cut off from an important part of yourself. And--oh here we go getting meta within meta--I find writing meta on SPN a positive outlet. 

“Writing is writing.” Damn Becky’s takedown of Chuck’s derisiveness about fanfic was sizzling and oh excuse me Chuck, what is it you think you were doing with those Supernatural books about your favorite story. Even though he’s the creator, I know. But still. Also seems to be a sly comment on how male-authored “fanfic” based on someone else’s characters or historical characters gets to be professionally published novels and nobody wants to admit it’s fanfic but it is, but women write fanfic and women write novels based on someone else’s characters or historical figures and it gets derided. 

Did not expect commentary celebrating the creativity and validity of fanwork of women in particular an episode of SPN, especially not with Becky of all people, but here we are. 

Uhhhh is Chuck writing this episode, as it happens? I am seriously uneasy now. What is going on. What is real. Which is what I think Dean is going through because of Chuck and OUCH the Winchesters think they’re free but they’re not but also they are their own people and Chuck isn’t controlling them but it’s like he’s still making the framework?? Or would this case just be happening on his own and Perez is just messing with our heads in this script right now.

Oh damn because this ep wasn’t sadness enough now here we go with the Jack parallels. “I can’t control this.” “I’m a monster.” “I killed someone I love.” Parents doing anything to save their out of control teenage kid or does he need to be killed, so the parents are Cas, while Sam and Dean are Dean. 

Interesting that Dean lowered the gun and didn’t kill Jack, but tells Sam they would do that for Jack if it was necessary. You didn’t, though, Dean. You couldn’t go through with it any more than those distressed parents of the vampire teen.

Becky is voicing various non-dire fan complaints here, every lane of the fandom is being gently called out right now. Hahaha including lack of Cas mentions in an ep that pointedly is not!Mentioning Cas because it’s not a mistake there’s actually reasons for that which is just lampshading how much Dean is pointedly Not Going to Talk About Cas. 

“Where they sit around doing laundry and talk” -- again every lane of the fandom should feel very called out right now. Seriously, fandom lanes that hate each other’s guts all have that common factor of craving more domesticity, and would like to see the laundry ep of SPN and for many, it has better include Cas, or we’re working through our need for this via fanfics or fanart. Even Jared and Jensen have expressed interest in a “Winchesters do the laundry” kind of episode. 

But here’s the thing--here’s the thing about SPN...it depicts domesticity. In small bits of pieces. Even in this ep there’s domesticity. SO HA. It’s not that SPN is against depictions of domesticity, it’s definitely in the toolset of its storytelling, to give the characters more layers, to make their lives seem more real, but there needs to be mostly an action plot because that’s the genre so they mostly kill monsters and we only get nibbles of domesticity.

Becky and Chuck arguing about Chuck’s incredibly dark story ending, after Becky criticized him for the story not having enough bite, was so interesting. While the episode’s dark story ending was actually quite well done IMO and not overdone and yes it’s bleak but it’s supposed to be. So it’s not that sad is always terrible writing, no. It isn’t. But its overuse has been a raging hot topic in spn fandom for years and SPN is a hopeful narrative as well as a bleak one. Overuse of loss of hope and misery can hurt the story, causes a number of fans to become desensitized and lose their emotional engagement for it (which has happened to be at a couple of points in SPN’s long run). So that conversation interested me a great deal, yes it did.

So.....SPN had its current biggest of the biggest of ultimate big bads, the ultimate power God himself, the author, and made him the enthusiast for overuse of the misery pr0n like that’s the only smart way to tell a story. The season’s big bad villain is a misery porn enthusiast.

I’m just gonna....sit here and absorb that for a moment.

Oh and this while all the PR for the show keeps warning us about how sad this story is and how bleak the ending will be, not a happy ending show. Are they warning us? Are they trolling us and misdirecting? Because they made their villain a misery pr0n fanboy and this intelligent, self-aware positive depiction of Becky the fan taking him to task for it. 

I feel like could be headed for every story needs its darkness and its light, you need the darkness to appreciate the light, and you need some light or the story is less meaningful. We’ll see.

“I’m a writer,” says Chuck and then takes away everyone Becky loves and then unmakes Becky. This is a purposeful depiction of a writer creator as a sadist. It’s a diabolical reversal on the Stephen King’s Misery scenario. Becky played the deranged fangirl in the past, who kidnaps an object of obsession, now she’s the victim of the deranged sadistic writer who breaks into her home, destroys her life, and then effectively kills her because of his own obsession with making Sam and Dean wretchedly miserable because he thinks that’s the only way to make the story exciting.

*blinks*

In the last scene, oh thanks Sam, for vocalizing the Jack connection. 

Hey Dean, that’s really a nice speech and yes Sam did give you a great pep talk but Sam wasn’t the only one who told you what you did still has meaning. This is like 15.01 where Dean is pointedly erasing Cas again despite Cas very obviously having done something Dean refuses to acknowledge. In 15.01 it was Dean leaving Cas out of his us vs the forces of evil speech to Sam, despite Cas having spent most of the ep shooting ghosts in the face and saving Sam’s life twice. Sam and Cas both have given Dean pep talks about the meaning of what they do but only Sam pulled Dean out of it...uhhh yeah that’s not writer error or canon ignoring Cas. That’s Dean trying to push Cas out of his mind. Something there hurts so much Dean isn’t dealing with it right now.

As I said, as I’ve been saying, it’s not so much that Dean is that angry at Cas. It’s not just about Mary. Or about Cas keeping things from him. Although those are all valid reasons for Dean’s hurt and anger. Dean seems to be afraid or hurt over more than that. And his love for Cas, IMO, is part of why this is weighing so heavily. What does he fear. I think it’s connected to the whole existential crisis about Chuck. What if none of this is real. I’ve talked about that in other posts, if none of this is real, if Dean still doubts, then what if what’s between him and Cas isn’t real, what if Cas doesn’t really care about him because none of it real. 

Dean valiantly puts a brave face on things here, they keep going, they keep fighting for the sake of those they lost, no matter what, “keep putting one foot in front of the other.” Which makes sense. That’s how you honor those you’ve lost. It’s just that I don’t think Dean has really reached that. He is Not Dealing with an awful lot of stuff here. And we have seen again and again how hard Dean reels from losing loved ones.  So what’s going on with Dean here. This is a healthy concept, but not if Dean is just whistling past the graveyard again. This might look like character development except look at what’s been going on with Dean. How deeply losing Mary, losing Jack affected him. The impact of those losses needs to be acknowledged and dealt with in order to truly move on and move forward. It’s like Dean is voicing a healthy outlook but isn’t actually experiencing it. I think Dean is posturing because if he lets all the hurt it right now, it will devour him.

There’s also the part where Sam and Dean have in the past displayed a lack of ability to just keep on keeping on if they lose each other, so they used to sell their souls, or violate the other one’s wishes and autonomy, or let the darkness free, but we’ve also seen them let each other go, and “keep putting one foot in front of the other.” Sam and Dean have done both ways with each other. Dean didn’t exactly just keep on keeping on no problem when Cas died at the end of S12.

Sam voices the other side of things, he can’t just move on right now. He’s feeling all the losses. They’ve piled up and piled up and it’s crushing him. Sam says he "can’t breathe” at times. He brings up Jessica, a loss he suffered 14 years ago. 

So Sam and Dean are airing the two aspects of loss and grief on SPN. One the one hand, you don’t just give up and quit because of loss. Honor who you’ve lost and keep on fighting. But losses are deeply felt, and it’s not all okay either. Sam and Dean don’t just shrug off these losses because they have each other. That’s not how this works. They need more than just each other and SPN is increasingly having more and more open dialogue about all of this.

S15 so far has been so much about the impact losing people they love has on Sam and Dean, and why their isolation isn’t a good thing. 

And there’s Chuck, the big bad, typing away to add more misery. Because Chuck gets off on giving them loved ones and taking them away, over and over and this isn’t presented as a good thing or a satisfying thing or a desirable thing or a celebration of anything. 

[true-intha-blu]

I propose this simple Question

First:  why I ask this. Since the infancy of the KH fandom all the way back from KH1, I noticed this simple trend one that picked up tremulously after kh2. No this has nothing to do with shipping. Also to note; I have genuine curiosity if anyone else notices this and this is from my perspective and experience with dealing with the Kingdom hearts fandom. Others may have very different accounts but others (that I have asked) have indeed noticed this as well in my own view. I am not aiming to stir up hate or discourse. I aim for peaceful fandoms. However, this subject is something I see no one ever addresses and well... maybe breaking a status quo or ‘unspoken rule’. I hope this can be a reasonable discussion where I can learn another perspective or some people may notice it and just go... “Oh yeah. That is a thing.” To which the question at hand. “Why does R*ku always have to be cool?”

(Disclaimer I do not hate this character. This question is not hateful. It is not anti or whatever. I mean exactly what I say. I will not be tagging this in the R*ku tab to prevent any misunderstandings. I ask others do the same. Anyone who reblogs this with hate is in no way associated with me.)

I will state the positive traits about R*ku. He has had the greatest character arc out of all the Kingdom Hearts Characters. A great redemption arc from his lowest to blooming into practically a whole new person in his own struggle against his KH1 self. He’s loyal to his friends. Smart. Gets along with Mickey and Yen Sid. Mellow. Saved Kairi and Sora. Knows what he has done. He’s honest and shares his concerns with others. Since KH2 he has always been trying to help Sora in the best of his ability. In acknowledgment of his misdeeds in CoM and Days is very good and we see a character who has genuinely f’d-up and his trying his best to move past that by helping his friends despite the limited resources offered to him. ^These are very good traits for a character to have. Any character. Besides his one time self in KH1, what else is there to him? What can be addressed as a flaw or criticism of him? (I approach characters as even though a character goes through a development arc, does not mean they are void of flaws. No one works like that. Not characters or actual people.) I say this. I love Sora and Vanitas in the Kingdom Hearts fandom. However, I am not afraid to draw them doing stupid or silly things and point out they have various of unfavorable flaws. Sora is utterly dense and I hate the fact how he was portrayed in DDD but I accept it and I will drag him along pointing out that fact. It is part of his character. He’s a dork (and not always in a good way). He impulsive and is kinda a mess of a human being. He's stubborn in the worse ways and volatile. Vanitas appears to be on the surface a straight up evil villain. As far as the games go, he is just utterly vile in his contempt for the characters and his actions have brought suffering and misery to various of characters. (though there may be other traits that could set for his own arc) (I still love them both) But note how none of these flaws listed above are ‘endearing’ or even remotely positive. They are problems, that hinder the characters and those around them. These are persistent traits even though both Sora and Vanitas have mellowed. Sora far more than Vanitas. I just do not see this done with R*ku. I rarely (they do exist but in comparison to the likes of Sora, Org XIII, even foretellers, or Roxas [who could be compared to be as “badass” as R*ku], its rarely ever there) I don’t see anyone talking about Riku doing dumb stuff. Being silly or being the butt of a joke or just not, not being good. Example of the latter:  When there was talk about Sora cooking in KH3, rarely did I see that, ‘oh, Sora learns how to cook and becomes very good at it’ and most I see ‘R*ku is already a fabulous cook’.... what about Kairi? What about even Lea? Aqua? There is no mention of these other characters being good at cooking. R*ku is usually A.) always the cooler looking one, or must be made to look cooler and B.) always be the better or best at something. I know that is kinda the thing in KH, that R*ku is talented and gifted as a person. As for the coolness factor, Nomura does this as well. Sora gets a keyblade, R*ku gets an edgier cooler keyblade with more details. Riku gets the powers of both light and darkness. R*ku gets the Keyblade Master title. R*ku gets actual growth in his body. He gets the more competent companion (Mickey). I am not saying these things are detractions or upsetting, they are just there and be defacto, cooler than other characters. He becoming edgier and emo was a good play on Normura because back in early 2005′s people thought that was cool and hot. Silver hair is automatically an attractive trait and western audiences love a person with a muscled body like R*ku’s. I don’t blame fans for being appealed to his character. But I suppose I am getting off-topic. Why do fans keep feeling compelled to make R*ku perfect? When people make fanart of him like say a monster form or pirate outfit, they always make it more detailed, edgier or just cooler than anyone else who would be drawn that way. He always looks more impressive than an original canonical design when other characters are drawn or written in ways that are not as impressive or equally the same to a canonical design/form/power. Has the cool wolf animal companion or the cooler weapon, the more detailed designs etc etc Even Axel who is a badass assassin can be silly or dumb-looking. Heck, they even did that in games. They made Axel failed and acknowledge it.  I see Aqua who is awesome in design and badass moments, be criticized for her flaws that persist and others who wish to see her have more moments of weakness even with what we have seen in 0.2 Xion who has had a great arc in Days (Character arcs don’t always have to be a positive development) doesn’t get the coolness factor. Roxas who is probably the second most popular character still is known as a goofy boy who thought he could fight heartless off with a stick. That’s hilarious. The most notable thing about R*ku recently that wasn’t cool or badass or edgy was his infamous “WHAT?” response to Mickey in Kh3. And that was one thing. Only really that. But how Mickey worded it, anyone would have done the same. And I noticed that people use what Mickey said “Aqua is like Sora’ is a way to poke fun at Sora by implying that Aqua is like a dense 15 year old. (Again these are just observations I have made over a decade worth watching the Kh fandom). In talks with other people who are Sora stans or other stans, there is nothing but a lot of talk about R*ku being really good about things. Being superior to Sora, or Kairi, or Aqua and Terra. Over Roxas.  Giving Axel two keyblades is never done, but people have given two to R*ku.  I get it, people who love characters like to do so much with them. I do the same. I just... never seem to regard the characters I love as perfect as others see R*ku. Also... I just don't see anyone criticizing him (I mean criticism in actual acknowledgment of his character and not hating on said character). Or taking about traits or flaws that are not endearing “He cares too much about his friends” is not really that bad of a flaw in consideration. A lot of people would prefer to have that over say... anger issues. What about the fact he falls back into following the orders of others or doesn’t often decide things for himself?...  What about Minor flaws? I just never see them in regards to these characters. Alright, so these are my observations I have made over... 14+ years of watching this fandom. And I want to ask, why do fans see him as such? Besides the only reason being for them is “I like him.” Has it just become such a normal thing to make R*ku better? Is he really that good of a character than he is so universally loved? Or is the backlash of actually criticizing R*ku and seeing that maybe, making him too perfect is... not doing favors for him? An arc is just that, an arc. Doesn’t mean a character is perfect or done with. Doesn’t mean those flaws that persisted in him, are gone.   Make your favorite character silly, or doing something very dumb (that does not even have to do with shipping), or put forth of what you would like to see improve in this character or express more about their flaws and their struggles. I love pointing out the negative traits in all my characters because I like seeing their struggle and how that makes them interact with new nuances in other characters. Maybe it's a running joke that R*ku is ‘Mr Perfect’ in the Kh fandom and I am just not seeing it. But it's daunting and just kinda rubs me the wrong way that all these characters in Kingdom Hearts have so many nuances to them and the one who has the best character arc so far in KH is regarded as... ‘Perfect’ I would like to know your opinion and if anyone else who is not a R*ku stan notice this, or is it just me and my own personal bias? (anything said above is in no way should ever be used to promote hate against R*ku or even bash him. In no way, I want to make others hate R*ku. I do not blame people who love this character to portray him in a superior way over everyone else. My address is that I just see this all the time. And I was wondering... why is it so widespread? Not even Axel who has a great redemption arc gets this.) (also another things is the whole sexgod R*ku that is also about however that may go into shipping and that I will not poke a stick at)

[laughingpinecone]

Press Start letter

I am laughingpineapple on AO3

It’s a long list of character combos so the specific requests aren’t overly detailed, please draw at will from my general likes and general fandom likes in addition or as an alternative to any of those!

All requests are art or fic - for art, the stuff I like is the kind that depicts the characters doing something. I’ll always be happier with a very simple drawing of two characters walking together or sharing a cup of coffee than with an ambitious composition that looks like an Avengers poster. I also enjoy seeing them wear different clothes, getting a feel of what their fashion sense is like beyond their canon outfit(s).

Likes: worldbuilding, slice of life (especially if the event the fic focuses on is made up but canon-specific), missing moments, 5+1 and similar formats, bonding and emotional support/intimacy, physical intimacy, lingering touches, loyalty, casefic, surrealism, magical realism, established relationships, future fic, hurt/comfort or just comfort from the ample canon hurt, throwing characters into non-canon environments, banter, functional relationships between dysfunctional individuals, unexplained mysteries, bittersweet moods, journal/epistolary fic, dreams and memories and identities, canon-adjacent tropey plots, outsider POV, UST, resolved UST, exploration of secondary bits of canon, leaning on the uniqueness of the canon setting/mood, found families, characters reuniting after a long and/or harrowing time, friends-to-lovers, road trips, maps, mutual pining, cuddling, wintry moods, the feeling of flannel and other fabrics, ridiculous concepts played straight, sensory details, sickfic, places being haunted, people being haunted, the mystery of the woods, small hopes in bleak worlds, electricity, places that don’t quite add up, mismatched memories, caves and deep places, distant city lights at night, emphasis on non-human traits of non-human characters (gen-wise, but also a hearty yes xeno for applicable ships)

Cool with: any tense, any pov, any rating, plotty, not plotty, IF, nerdy canon references, unrequested characters popping up

DNW: non-canonical rape, non-canonical children, focus on children, unrequested ships (background established canon couples are okay, mentions of parents are okay), canon retellings, consent issues

Dark Souls

I’m only familiar with the first game+DLC! It’s probably relevant to mention that I think that linking the fire is kind of a dumbass move and Gwyn is an ass, but on the other hand Kaathe has his own agenda and there’s no winning move in this world, or at least no obvious one. Feel free to deviate from anyone’s canon endings, to make things happen that’ll stave off their hollowing. I am interested in any of these people meeting and possibly striking up a friendship, and also in exploring Lordran’s temporal/dimensional fuckery, where it’s possible to meet people who have been gone for ages…

Group: Solaire of Astora & Siegmeyer of Catarina: so much fanart of Sun Bro & Onion Bro being bros, so little fic. And yet, the potential! How’d they bounce off each other, what about the fact that Siegmeyer is apparently a proper Catarina knight after all while Solaire just painted his self-made insignia and left, what would Sieg think of Solaire’s quest?

Group: Alvina the Cat & Sieglinde of Catarina: dunno, kitty. I love them both and I want everyone cool to go on adventure with each other. What’s left for Alvina now that Sif is gone, Artorias’ grave desecrated? For her part, did Sieglinde, you know, (mimics Ash Lake)?

Ghost Trick

I am very interested in various characters finding about the erased timeline, but not getting their memories back, and having to live with being told about what they did but never remembering it. Exploring the ghost lore is great. All what-ifs welcome (what if they managed an acceptable happy ending but didn’t reset the timeline, what if a different party went back to the past and kept their memories, what if Alma’s ghost stuck around…) Also open to AUs here, especially for generic fantasy or sci-fi settings or the Final Fantasy ones I prompted last Yuletide.

For the non-canon sides of Jowd/Alma/Cabanela, please no infidelity? I’d be good with either setting the fic during the game timeline or some what-if thereof when the other spouse is dead or unavailable, or simply keeping them offscreen and not mentioning them (eg Alma/Cabanela beach day, Jowd/Cabanela precinct shenanigans)

For Jowd in general, I do love my big boy and enjoy milking that size difference for all it’s worth. In gen contexts too, it’s neat. him big.

Group: Jowd & Yomiel: I’d love to read about the intimate understanding that comes from their shared memories and the horrors they’ve mutually forgiven (and a penchant for morbidity they’ve gained from such horrors probably). Cat dads things welcome.

Group: Alma/Jowd/Cabanela: maybe once Alma and Jowd have figured out he’s smitten and that they do in fact reciprocate... they tease him to death, slowly and deliberately? Is it even a Jowd romance if there’s not an exhausting amount of teasing involved, I ask?

Group: Alma/Jowd & Cabanela: Cabs’ life is wild; his best friends’ home is a safe haven...

Group: Emma & Pigeon Man: Emma’s unsuspected beta reader...

Group: Alma/Cabanela: (taps mic) legs. And fashion!

Group: Cabanela/Jowd: a recent tumblr post made a convincing argument for Cabs liking to be in charge (the argument is just pointing at Cabanela, honestly). Jowd is... agreeable, by his own admission. But is it that simple?

Kentucky Route Zero

I love the ending and I’d love to see its themes and setting explored. I’m all for exploration of any of the game’s themes and for including any staples from adjacent genres - wanna go full-on American Gothic? Dip into surrealism? Take a leaf from Twin Peaks with tulpa / split narratives to explore the characters’ issues? I love AUs so that’s an option too. Or of course there’s Xanadu at the height of its glory, an infinite what-ifs generator. Were the requested characters part of it, what were their digital counterparts up to? A Xanadu narrative would be great! I’d also love to hear about any new spot along the Zero or the Echo river, or an expansion of some place that’s only mentioned by Will in HATATE or only gets a few paragraphs of text. Mostly, I just love all these characters so much and I’m going through the tagset’s options like a hyperactive cat. Any fragment of their lives will make me happy.

Group: Shannon Márquez & Conway & Conway's Dog: does Shannon get to see them after the ending? Even for a moment?

Group: Lula Chamberlain/Joseph Wheattree/Donald: so Lula went back to Mexico. Joseph is pensive. Did the events of the night shake up Donald, or what will it take?

Group: Junebug & Lula Chamberlain: artists! Outspoken... artists... with a complicated personality. Put them in the same room and...?

Group: Junebug & Johnny: where’s the strangest place they played in, and what did Johnny find there?

Group: Conway & Johnny & Junebug (Kentucky Route Zero): their story is about finding individuality, his is about succumbing and losing it. Would any of them pick up on this mid-Act IV? Or just... talking about limbs and stuff?

Group: Cate & Will & Shannon Márquez (Kentucky Route Zero): a few months later, Shannon finds herself on the Mucky Mammoth again...

Group: Carrington & Weaver Márquez & Shannon Márquez (Kentucky Route Zero): maybe the cousins were trying to bond or reminisce or whatever and Carrington dive-bombed into the conversation, but in the end it was an enriching experience... of sorts?

Group: Carrington & Lula Chamberlain (Kentucky Route Zero): I don’t usually look for college shenanigans but this may be the exception? Or Art Opinions?

Group: Carrington & Clara (Kentucky Route Zero): would she even... get a word in? Maybe with the right topic?

Group: Carrington & Cate & Will (Kentucky Route Zero): Mammoth life! ...what does theater have to say about mushrooms again?

Group: Shannon Marquez & Weaver Marquez (Kentucky Route Zero): at the end of it all, Weaver was waiting. After this end, they can stand side by side again...

Group: Emily & Ben & Bob (Kentucky Route Zero): so what does it mean, like, poetically, that they were temporally displaced and Act I is in their future from Act V? Is it possible they were not aware of it?

Mutazione

The island, the sense of community, newcomers joining the community, gardens and music... I love the mood of this little game. Got ideas for some part of the island we haven’t seen? What stories do they tell each other about Moon Dragon and the first days of the new life it brought? The plants encyclopaedia was great - do Yoké’s archives hide some other cool tome? Please, if Graubert is mentioned, I would much prefer a sympathetic portrayal - he’s got his issues but I felt that the game was much harder on him than anyone else.

Group: Yoké & Karoo: I love the friendship between Yoké and Nonno and filtering it through Karoo feels even cooler to me. When did the big spooky bird first visit, did Yoké know or perceive what was going on?

Group: Yoké & Claire: book club book club book club!

Group: Spike/Claire: they’re so cute! Dinner at Mori’s? Swimming together?

Group: Nonno & Spike: I love Nonno’s role in the community and Spike’s role in the community, and they’re the two people who landed there and decided to stay. Could they bond over this?

Group: Dennis & Nonno: Important Tree Health Business!

Group: Bopek & Jell-A: Jell-A is the absolute coolest and Bopek grew on me a lot. Their friendship is adorable! What could they do together? As a side note, Jell-A’s place has the tightest interior decor in the whole game. How’d that happen, and does Bopek get a flair for vintage shapes and volumes in his weaving?

Group: Mori & Nonno & Yoké: FRIENDS. Friends for a long time, through so much pain. An evening together while The Youths (tm) are at Spike’s bar?

Yoké: catch-all Yoké request because he’s my fave! Doing Yoké things, being a big nerd, caring for books and plants and stuff

Pyre

The burning found family feelings, the revolutionary passion, the tension between topside social constraints and the kind of freedom allowed by the Downside! Thoughts about finding oneself at  the end of an age, as everything crumbles down to form something new. I love all the themes, the solemnity, the heart of this game. I adore everyone in that Blackwagon+Dalbert+Celeste, so if you want to add a Nightwing or two to any prompt, please do! I also love all the Scribes and find Erisa a compelling tragic figure. Out of the other triumvirates, I’m “love to hate them” for Manley, Brighton, Udmildhe and Deluge and would not like to see them featured in sympathetic roles. My main interest usually lies in post-canon exploration when applicable, but I’m also into various adventures during canon. Pick a location or a place outside the map and see what happens? As for the ending variables, I’d ask for a peaceful revolution and Oralech alive, but no preferences for who’s up and who’s down, pick whatever works best for any given plot bunny.

Group: Tariq & Soliam: what were Tariq and Celeste like in their earliest days? Were they made or summoned from some sort of preexisting star consciousness? They’re wildly different scenarios! I’m good with either. Does Soliam then see Tariq as a child of sorts, someone he made, or something greater than himself? Did he mean to do that, to have these two immortals around? What does Tariq learn from the First Scribe?

Group: Tariq & Dalbert Oldheart: Any excuse for Tariq to hang out with the Fates for a little while, and treasure and be treasured by dear Dalbert...

Group: Oralech & Vagabond Girl: after all is said and done, Oralech’s view of the Scribes is probably... understandably... dire. So of course I want to see him talk it out with ae!

Group: Celeste & Ignarius: look, listen, if the various triumvirates just camped out near their respective Scribe’s place during the Nightwings’ years-long absence (not the only possible explanation for how you find them all neatly lined up before the first lib rite, but an explanation nonetheless, I think. just let me have my crack), that means Iggy was Celeste’s neighbor for a long time. Neighborly hijinks please?

Group: Bertrude/Pamitha: Pam returning from her travels, again and again, and finding a home in Bertrude’s lab, finding an understanding there... Bertrude’s attitude being thorny in a way that’s just what Pam needs to allow herself to open up... also: snake kisses.

Group: Volfred Sandalwood/Oralech: waking up and remembering that the mourning that’s set deep in your roots is for someone who never died, waking up and remembering that the bitterness that consumed you had made up a betrayal that never was, finding each other through these crumbling walls... 

Molten Milithe: that’s the pov for a love letter to the Downside, right? And/or which Scribe did she bond with the most? Or the least for that matter?

Volfred Sandalwood: catch-all Volf’n’anyone request. I want to see our tree interact with any friend and foe you might fancy! Arguing for his beliefs, being a history professor through and through, finding himself in a tight spot and getting unexpected help, verbally tearing Brighton a new one if they ever cross each other’s path again...

group: Volfred Sandalwood/Tariq | The Lone Minstrel: Volfred’s zodiac sign is Cancer and Cancer is ruled by the Moon, so there’s that.    I love how they both hold the other in the highest esteem, especially on Tariq’s part since he’s the immortal Herald of the Scribes and Volfred is, all in all, a history teacher, but listen to him and you’d think the roles were inverted. I love my nonviolent canon but could anything happen to either of them that may require a rescue, and/or some good old-fashioned h/c? What’s something that could make Tariq of all people lose it? How’s life 100 years on?

Shenmue

This game cares for the little things. I’d love to see fanworks that try to out-slice-of-life canon...

Group: Qiu Hsu & Xianzi Bei: cormorant kung fu adventure! Do they hang out sometimes?

Group: Hazuki Ryo & Shenhua Ling: any moment, discussion, small adventure from their travels together! I love their bond! For all its waifufication of Shenhua, S3 really sold me on their friendship and a shared brand of dorkiness. Alternatively, sometimes I remember that they’d be 50ish in the present day - how and where do you picture them?

The Silver Case

I‘m all for the surrealism, big things being introduced and never picked up again, Rashomon’ing it up with six explanations for the same thing where no single one can be true, people dying and then popping up again like nbd...  maybe the thing I like the most is characters transcending their humanity and looming over the dystopian world like ominous avatars. Correctness’ first ending had me swooning, that kind of mood is unparalleled. I have played TSC, FSR and 25W so far and have vague memories of K7. I’m aware of the “everything’s connected” readings but that’s not my main interest in these games. For FSR-focused requests, I see Lospass as a real island but also a metaphysical  place of transformation first and foremost, where strange things happen that don’t make sense elsewhere.

Group: Toriko Kusabi & Remy Fawzil: What’s Toriko up to when she’s not chasing Chris? I think it could be fun to throw her at Remy and see the island from their point of view!

Group: Tokio Morishima & Edo Macalister: since Tokio stayed at the Flower Sun and Rain... I’m interested in peculiar happenings on Lospass that are not centered on Sumio...

Group: Tetsugorou Kusabi/Sumio Kodai: Tetsu picked one hell of a crush, huh! What’s it like in the aftermath of the games, when Sumio is Like That? How does Tetsu grapple with Parade? Is Tetsu an anchor of sorts for Correctness Sumio, who seems (at best) to be existing on a slightly different plane of existence at any given time and could disappear if you blink too hard?

Group: Tetsugorou Kusabi & Shinko Kuroyanagi: I’m joining the “let these two be foulmouthed friends” masses - who’d be more fed up with the other’s nonsense, and in which ways would they be an unstoppable team?

Group: Shinkai Tsuki & Tetsugorou Kusabi: Both of them end their stories in the shadows one way or another, and defending their protégé may have had a hand in their misfortune one way or another. What kind of understanding could they reach? What IS Tsuki up to anyway?

Group: Christina & Catherine: anthro Catherine, as per the Placebo bonus chapter Yami, was unexpectedly charming. What was Chris before reaching Lospass, and did he also have a chat with her on the plane or on the island?

[betweenthetimeandsound]

Three Minutes to Eternity: My ESC 250 (#150-141)

#150: Francesco Gabbani -- Occidentali's Karma (Italy 2017)

"Soci onorari al gruppo dei selfisti anonimi L’intelligenza è démodé Risposte facili, dilemmi inutili"

"Honorary members of Selfie Addicts Anonymous Intelligence is out of fashion Easy answers, pointless dilemmas"

I remember how hyped Occidentali's Karma was before the contest--it racked up views like a wind machine, and it looked like everything was going in its favor. And for good reason.

Even within the title (because it uses English possessives, rather than in Italian, Occidentali's Karma satirizes those in the West who romanticize or even appropriates East Asian culture and/or philosophy. Rereading the translation, it's curious because Covid-19 increased anti-Asian sentiment to the point of violence across the world. But there were so many good references.

Along with an upbeat tempo, the question going into rehearsals was where Italy was going to host the contest the following year. (It's not as hyped as Fur Alle, see #227 to see how that turned out and why their other entry was better) Unfortunately, that was not meant to be, as a combination of the three-minute cut (which is why I attached the Sanremo performance instead), Francesco's progressive tiredness with performing the song, and the staging sunk it from the top five completely. For some reason, the latter didn't bother me as much, though I could see why people would see it as more gimmicky in the end.

And with Italy's other entries in the future, it doesn't seem like it holds up as well. But the "Namaste, ale!" part doesn't fail to amplify a crowd.

Personal ranking: 2nd/42 Actual ranking: 6th/26 GF in Kyiv

#149: Youddiph -- Vechny Strannik (Russia 1994)

“Вечный странник, я твоя судьба, Знаю, помнишь обо мне Ты всегда в пути, но для тебя Яркий свет в моём окне,”

“Eternal wanderer, I'm your destiny, I know, you will remember me You are always on the way, but there is always A bright light for you in my window”

A bit eccentric from Russia, but it makes for a worthy debut, part of a three-song stretch of them towards the end. I like how the lyrics told a story about the two separated lovers, and they are really poetic!

But I sometimes get lost with the more relaxed verses against the explosive chorus. The former reminds me of an instrumental to beat poetry; I would sometime mimic "Poetry by Gary" there, whereas the latter feels like something that would be in other ballads during the time. It took multiple listens to reconcile the two; the orchestration really helps.

Youddiph switches between the two forms, well, going from , and the scarlet multi-functional dress is a highlight. Which way did she wear it is your favorite?

Personal ranking: 3rd/25 Actual ranking: 9th/25 in Dublin

#148: Mocededes -- Eres tú (Spain 1973)

“Como mi poema, eres tú, eres tú, Como una guitarra en la noche, Todo mi horizonte, eres tú, eres tú, Así, así, eres tú,”

“Like my poem, you are, you are, Like a guitar in the night My whole horizon, you are, you are Like that, like that, you are”

The lyrics are so pure—telling a loved one that they remind them of all the good things in life, all sung really well by a really professional choir. It touched me the first time I listened to it, and found it really sweet even after multiple listens. The instrumentation adds to that feeling, which makes it unsurprising that it has become a well-beloved classic even to this day.

Curiously, when they released the single internationally, they had the Spanish-version on the A-side and the English one on the B-side. The radio stations prefered to play the former, which led to it garnering fame across the Americas and Europe. It was even #9 on the US Billboard 100 at one point, making it one of the few non-English songs to do so well there. And it's been covered over and over again.

In addition, it still holds Spain's highest point total at Eurovision, with 125 points. And that's after multiple voting system changes and an increase of countries participating. Then again, that's its power!

Personal ranking: 4th/17 Actual ranking: 2nd/17 in Luxembourg

#147: Dulce Pontes -- Lusitana paixão (Portugal 1991)

“Mmm... fado, só quando a saudade vem, Arrancar do meu passado um grande amor...”

“Mmm... fado, just when the longing comes, Pulling a great love back from my past”

For the record, this is not a fado song, but rather a song discussing about the singer’s relationship with the genre in a standard early 1990s ballad. However, Dulce would go on to become one of Portugal's most famous fado singers, especially with the track Canção do Mar.

This doesn't mean that Lusitana paixao is anyway inferior, though!

As a result, the songs calming, but the lyrics indicate some yearning to convey the pain. The chorus is a bit weaker than the verses (despite being the rare example of "major-verse/minor-chorus"), but the orchestration in them, combined with Dulce’s vocals, makes it shine.

Personal ranking: 6th/22 Actual ranking: 8th/22 in Rome

#146: Conchita Wurst -- Rise Like a Phoenix (Austria 2014)

"You know I will rise like a phoenix But you’re my flame"

(Maybe I should've had Lusitana Paixao at #146 to keep up the Eurovision 1991 references, right? #allora)

If there's anything noticeable in Rise Like a Phoenix, it's how resilient and fierce it is, while establishing a sense of glamour.

It starts off with an orchestral intro, and the first verse is quiet, before it starts blooming further and further through the song. The lyrics have a sense of bite about them--the narrator is hurt, but they will use their pain to become even stronger. And the staging helps with the concept; through the use of lighting, we get to see Conchita more, from the silhouette in the beginning to her full form by the end of the song, decked in gold and fully assured.

Rise Like a Phoenix was one of the first Eurovision songs I listened beyond the 2016-7 timeframe (or at least, one of the first that I liked enough to draw some fanart). The whole piece doesn't get lost in a soundtrack (a lot of comments talk about how it could fit in a James Bond movie), and it holds itself firm and dignified. And while I'm not part of the LGBTQ+ community, I could understand somewhat why something like this is important.

And it's absolutely glamorous.

Personal ranking: =3rd/37 Actual ranking: 1st/26 GF in Copenhagen

#145: The Common Linnets -- Calm After the Storm (the Netherlands 2014)

“I just wanna know if staying is better than goodbye...”

Both Rise Like a Phoenix and Calm After the Storm weren't seen as contenders before rehearsals, as the former "leaned on a gimmick" and the latter wasn't "stereotypically Eurovision" enough and too low-key. It took a couple of great stagings; whereas "Rise Like a Phoenix" plays with fire and revealing who one is, "Calm After the Storm deals with the melancholy and tension after a relationship, and does so fantastically. (cries in 2018)

The following lyric is a pretty hard-hitting one from an otherwise serene-sounding song. The story in it also deals with this stasis; while "calm after the storm” implies a return back to normal, the lyrics also indicate an ambiguity towards the state of this broken ship. (Looking over it, I still can't believe how clever the title is) The fallout creates an emptiness, and sometimes the silence is louder than any shouting. It’s definitely worth a listen, and I don’t listen to country often!

(On whether Calm after the Storm would've made the better winner, I'm not sure. I can agree it's the more thoughtful song and would've opened the doors to more genres, but Rise Like a Phoenix had just as much of an impact. Of the winner-runner-up pairs of the 2010s, this is the one I'm down the middle about. Both are so good...)

Personal ranking: =3rd/37 Actual ranking: 2nd/26 GF in Copenhagen

#144: Dino Merlin -- Love in Rewind (Bosnia and Herzegovina 2011)

“One to a hundred, multiplied by you, It all looks great, it all looks cool, Healthy children go to school, My daughter's in love, my son loves too..."

If you ask most Eurovision fans on what's their favorite Bosnian entry is, it usually comes down to one of three options. Love in Rewind is the most recent of them, but still has its charms. (Don't worry, you'll find out what the other two are in due time...)

A happy song which relishes on the beauty of life, Love in Rewind has the narrator appreciate the little things in life, despite the minor-key(?) tone throughout. Dino conveys this cheery feeling well, and the people on stage definitely add to this familial scene, from the chorus to Maya's piano playing and everything else in between. It's really enough to give you those warm feelings inside. (And if you don't, what kind of person are you?!)

For a song which performed second in the final, Love in Rewind also did quite well, with a solid sixth place! Though in an average year like 2011, it deserved the win.

P.S: What did the juries not see in this song?

Personal ranking: 1st/43 Actual ranking: 6th/25 GF in Dusseldorf

#143: Cliff Richard -- Power to All Our Friends (United Kingdom 1973)

“Power to the boys who played rock 'n' roll And made my life so sweet And to the girls I knew before And those I've yet to meet”

It's funny I'm writing this now, because the most recent #Eurovisionagain was 1968, which featured the hit "Congratulations" and it losing Eurovision by one point, haha.

Cliff Richard’s second entry is a bit less remembered than his first, but I think it’s quite better. From the rock and roll vibes of this one to the celebratory lyrics, it brings a spark of joy and modernity to the 1973 contest. Speaking of modernity, Power to All Our Friends was the first song to use some playbacked elements--the orchestral drummers are doing nothing in the background during the chorus. Though the orchestra did help with emphasizing the grandness of this song.

Cliff’s dancing, on the other hand, hasn’t changed and still remains very awkward. He also stayed in the bathroom when the voting came along, and then Spain was now one of two countries which beat him. I'm kind of surprised that he never had a grudge against the country.

Personal and actual ranking: 3rd/17 in Luxembourg

#142: Rollo and King -- Never Ever Let You Go (Denmark 2001)

“I’ll never ever be the same since you left me lonely So please come back to me again”

Isn't this wholesome? From the opening harmonica solo, one can expect a really happy and warm song. Rollo and King deliver the joy in spades, and Signe's arrival in the second verse made the whole crowd at Parken cheer. What a moment.

I love how the duo's voices work and the lyrical content of the song (though sometimes I'm a bit confused about if the narrator changed or not...). It's very sunny and cute, which makes it shine at the end of the lineup. While it doesn't have the same "movie-ending" feel as In a Moment Like This (#164), it still does the job well. The ukelele parts also bring a bit of spice to it; "I even really liked "I Don't Feel Hate" from this year because of its similarities with their riff!

I actually like this more than "Fly on the Wings of Love", though they both share this comfy, acoustic vibe. But that's what Denmark does best in the contest--bubbly cute songs, and Never Ever Let You go is the best of them. (But don't worry, there's still more Danish songs to come!)

Personal ranking: 3rd/23 Actual ranking: 2nd/23 in Copenhagen

#141: Sergey Lazarev -- You are the Only One (Russia 2016)

“Won’t ever give up ’cause you’re still somewhere out there Nothing or no one’s gonna keep us apart”

The top three of 2016 all had something compelling about them, which made them shine from the bunch. They had songs of different genres, but the performances make them stand out from the rest of the crowd, with highly capable singers.

You are the Only One pops out right away with the opening bell, and follows through a dramatic arc about finding the one. While there are questions about how ”dated” the song is, the production is quite awesome and adds to the drama. I always imagine a cool music video where one traverses across the city and trying to find someone for comfort. It would make a very fitting soundtrack.

And Sergey is a great performer, handling the evolved wall staging with ease. There were some angles that made it give the fact away to the viewer, but seeing Sergey sing and climb and announce that someone was the "only one" wowed everyone, including me.

No wonder I listened to this so many times when I started following Eurovision!

Personal ranking: 4th/42 Actual ranking: 3rd/26 GF in Stockholm

[sammyjs-ponies]

My Thoughts on MLP G5 Rumors (Potential Spoilers)

So you've probably heard about the massive MLP leaks lately. Among those have been a supposed plan for a Generation 5.

Below the Read More is my detailed opinion on the rumored direction of G5, and the things that I would like to see in a new generation.

The leaked concept art and information is highly debated on if it's real or not. I'm not going to share the images since it's a touchy subject for a lot of people, but by now if you want to see them, it's easy to find if you google "My Little Pony G5".

So, while the images are convincing, to me they look more like a really nice quality fanart than something a show would produce. From an animator's point of view, while the designs are pretty to look at, they are very complex and not practical at all to animate. I've heard rumors that it will be done in 3D instead of 2D (which is a huge disappointment), but even then, the designs have a LOT going on that would be distracting as an animated character.

It gives the impression that the show will:

Cut corners on animation quality to make up for the time it takes to work with that much detail.

Cut corners on story quality to make up for the time and effort it would take to animate that much detail nicely.

Become a more toy-focused generation and not have much of a show at all.

Judging how they've made a lot of smart decisions with G4 business-wise (not saying all the decisions were smart), it seems unlikely they would make a lot of these changes. But then again, the staff has changed a lot since the "good seasons" of G4. There's also looking back at how we all thought things like the Pokemon Sun & Moon starter concept art was fake, but it turned out to be real.

Assuming it is true, the plans/rumors I've heard so far are as follows:

(POTENTIAL SPOILER WARNING)

The same "Mane Six" characters are staying, and their designs (as in their colors and hairstyles) are staying the same. However, their species' are changing. Twilight to an Earth Pony, Fluttershy to a Unicorn, Pinkie to a Pegasus, etc. They will also be living in somewhat of an alternate universe.

Right away, this sounds more like a 0.5 generation. A completely new generation would have all NEW characters in an all NEW world. They might borrow a few names (Like Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy all came from G3), and their designs and personalities might nod to their past incarnations, but they would be completely different characters. While a 0.5 generation will instead keep all the same characters, maybe change a few designs or personality traits (like what happened to Toola Roola and Cheerilee in G3.5/Core 7) and make a dramatic change in the art and animation style.

It will be CGI/3D.

This one is argued on whether or not it's true. Like I said above regarding how difficult the leaked designs would be to animate, 3D would certainly make the most sense if they want to animate this much detail efficiently. But if this is the case, I am severely disappointed. I was proud of MLP for going so long without falling into the generic, cheap, 3D animation route.

It will cater to an older demographic and have more mature elements.

This I am skeptical of, but not doubting. The MLP franchise knows all too well what they can get from an adult fanbase, but they could also face a lot of backlash from angry parents who might feel like they can't let their little girls watch MLP anymore because it's suddenly become violent (or God forbid, sexual). I'm curious to see what they mean by this. It could be fantastic and enjoyable, or it could be a massive failure.

They are changing some of the characters' personalities. In particular, they are changing Applejack to something more generic to promote diversity.

Am I the only one who sees a HUGE contradiction here? To create a more diverse cast, they're getting rid of the most unique main character, the only one with an accent and a tie to a specific culture? Do they know what diversity means? Removing a race is the opposite of diversity. Diversity is to have a lot of unique and different things. Diversity is NOT simply removing everything that is white or tied to whiteness. If this is what they plan to do, it says a lot about the direction the show is going to go. We may be bracing for a propaganda-fest of progressive racism and who knows what other Leftist and Social Justice ideals being shoved down our throats. The fear of this once pure show tiptoeing into sexual content doesn't sound so farfetched now...

They want the ponies to act even less like horses, because even now, they think they're too much like horses.

In a leaked email, McCarthy was recorded expressing worry that the ponies are too horse-like. THEY ARE HORSES for crying out loud! That was the appeal of the show, especially for people like me. We like the show because we like horses! We WANT them to be horses!

(END OF POTENTIAL SPOILERS)

So, what would I want in a Generation 5?

Knowing what MLP has done right and done wrong in its lifetime, plus what I would like to see, this is what I would want from a Generation 5:

First of all, MAKE THEM LOOK LIKE THEY'RE ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO BE EQUINES.

What was appealing about past generations (G3 in particular) is that they were horses, resembled horses, and appealed to horse lovers. G3.5 and even more so G4 strayed violently from looking like something that was supposed to be a horse. I might get a lot of hate from G1 fans for this, but while the G1 TV show did a great job of making the characters look like horses, the toys looked like Hippopotamuses. I loved the G1 cartoon, but the toys don't appeal to me at all. They did improve some over the years, but in general (ESPECIALLY the baby ponies) looked more like Hippos to me than horses. The G3 toyline in particular did the best job of looking like horses, and I'd love to see something go that route again.

While you're at it, let them ACT like horses!

In complete contradiction to what the MLP staff say they want, I really loved it in the first few seasons in G4 when they would nod to the fact that they were horses by giving them horse-like mannerisms once in a while, like making them whinny when they were surprised or excited (they did bring it back once recently for Shining Armor) and that one time in the Buffalo episode where Rainbow Dash snorted when she was angry. It was really clever.

Not so many main characters, yet still not focusing on any one particular pony

One thing that both G1 and G3 did right was not having a set cast of main characters that dominated the series. There were a few "spokesponies" that appeared often, but were more seen as... idk... like the "leaders" of the town? than "THESE are the MAIN characters that you're SUPPOSED to pay attention to!!!" It gets old focusing on the same characters for so long, and you can only drag out a character arc so far. That's why FiM has lost my attention. When you start out from the beginning by focusing on a different character or set of characters every episode, you could seemingly run the show as long as you wanted to and always have new material.

Bring back the wide character assortment in toys!

My Little Pony's "Thing" has always been, until now, to have a wide selection of characters to collect. If the character was in the show, there would (almost) always be a brushable toy figure of them that you could own, and then some. There was no shortage of designs and colors to choose from, and if they weren't in the show, that added to the creativity of playing with them because you could make up your own personality for them. With G4, all you get are the main characters, maybe 3 or 4 background characters, and 2 or 3 "creative" characters. I don't know about other kids or kids nowadays, but when I was little, I always loved to have empty slate characters that I could project my own ideas and personalities onto.

Don't you DARE make it 3D.

This is more of a personal preference than what may or may not benefit everyone, but PLEASE MLP. PLEASE don't fall into the "just another generic, dumb 3D kids' show" hole. PLEASE.

Make something wholesome that can still touch on not necessarily adult topics, but deep topics (like the reality of death) the way older shows weren't afraid to do.

Don't focus too much on being funny. Like the 3D trap, nothing makes civilized people who crave substance turn off your show like a cartoon that acts like the only emotion kids feel is humor. Witty and clever gags are good. Random is funny in moderation. But if that's all your show has going for it, people are going to brush it off at best, and rabidly hate it at worst. We need shows like G1 that could go on adventures and help characters overcome problems. Problems that often got deep, and even invoked empathy, sadness, or even fear. We need shows like G3 that could inspire us and ignite our dreams. We don't need more shows that have to rely on pop culture references, making every moment "funny", and breaking the fourth wall.

[actuallyvady]

So I am working on a thing

... well. I’m planning a thing. A thing I have wanted to plan for a very long time. 

I’m a nerd. I’m sure you all knew that. Specifically, I am a Tolkien nerd-- even more specifically, The Silmarillion. It’s my favorite. I like it more than Lord of the Rings or The Hobbit, though I usually don’t recommend people read it like I do with my other favorite books. Anyway, my favorite character in all of it is Fëanor. 

Fëanor, for those who are not familiar, is the best and brightest of all the elves. His name means “spirit of fire” and he burned so brightly that his mother, exhausted from his birth, literally died-- the first elf ever to do so, lol. Fëanor was the prettiest and smartest and most skilled Mary Sue of an elf every to live. He invented all the things. He invented the art of gem crafting. Not the making of jewelry, actually creating gems. Some of his greatest hits include the palantiri-- remember that scary orb thing Saruman was using to talk to Sauron? The one Pippin accidentally looked into? That’s a palantir. Also, you know that pretty script that’s on the ring? He invented that writing system. What he is most known for, though, is creating these magical gems called Silmarils... and, after they are stolen, fucking up everything for everyone for an entire age. I’m not even kidding, he and his sons start killing other elves and all kinds of other horrible shit, it’s great. Fëanor is my original problematic fave. 

Anyway, since I first started cosplaying, my elf-obsessed ass has wanted to be Fëanor. The fact that I have never done a Lord of the Rings cosplay has a lot to do with the fact that the one I wanted to do would be difficult and obscure. I’ve been afraid to even think about it, until recently-- designing things for myself has always terrified me, and as there is no Silmarillion movie, there isn’t exactly a canon design for the bastard (figure of speech, his parents were happily married. then his dad re-married and that’s like, half of Fëanor’s problem for a long time) 

...anyway I’m actually going to do the thing. I’m going to cosplay the Actual Worst, Fëanor. 

As I said, designing things is hard, so at first I went and looked at fanart and other people’s cosplays. There are some really gorgeous things out there-- seriously, go look at all the pretty art, it’s great. But I noticed pretty fast that everyone dressed him in black and red. Which. Don’t get me wrong, the colors suit him-- that whole “spirit of fire” thing he has going on, coupled with him being the actual worst, it makes a lot of sense. 

Only...

Tolkien designed a sigil for him. Actually Tolkien designed a bunch of sigils for people and families, most of whom don’t appear in the properties that have become movies. But! The important one is Fëanor. It looks like this:

It is very similar to his father’s, really-- Finwë’s sign is more plain, in blue and yellow, and looks like the sun. Fëanor has the colors and general shape of his father, with two elements added: flames and colors. His half-brother, Fingolfin, has the flames and the blue, so the fire is not entirely Fëanor-- though that whole “spirit of fire” thing is, again, appropriate. Fëanor’s flames, unlike his brother’s, are almost rainbows. They’ve got the blue flame thing happening, burning hotter, I suppose? And the symbols at the center seem to represent his gem-crafting; it may very well be that the center itself is supposed to be a silmaril. So, what makes this Fëanor’s sign, different from everyone else in his family? Color. Because he is the prince of sparkly things. 

So I didn’t want to put him in None More Goth colors. He’s a god damned peacock. 

That much of the design I’ve been certain of for years: I didn’t want edgelord Fëanor, I wanted Prince Mary Sue Fëanor. Which meant blue and gold and fire and rainbows and above all, sparkles. So many sparkles. 

Recently I began thinking about it again, and truly, I went back and forth on whether to put him in black... or white. Either would be great for making him prismatic. Rainbows and sparkly things pop pretty well on black, even though I was really entertained by turning the common idea of his design on its head by putting him in white. I did know that there would be nothing in between-- either black or white, no greys and definitely no colors other than adornment. But it wasn’t until a friend got me thinking about symmetry-- or the lack of it-- that things started to click. 

Elves are symmetrical. It’s part of why we think they’re beautiful. They have these gentle, sweeping, organic lines, curves, flowing robes and many layers, but they are always symmetrical. (Haldir and the guards in Lothlorien do have an asymmetrical curve to their tunics, but it is a soft, subtle thing; the overall effect is still largely symmetrical.) Elrond? Galadriel? Thranduil? Pick a level of drama, doesn’t matter-- you’ll still find symmetrical design. 

Fëanor, though. Yes, he is beautiful, but again and again he is noted as different. He’s better, stronger, brighter. He burns. And, well, he’s not exactly the most stable of people. I read some meta a while back about Loki’s costume design being symmetrical in the first movie and asymmetrical afterwards, and how that obviously reflected his chaotic nature. Say what you will about that, it got me thinking about Fëanor. He is not exactly a paragon of stability; perhaps a lack of symmetry was called for. 

Now, technically Fëanor has two signs-- the brightly colored sigil above, and this: 

... I’m not actually sure what the Star of Fëanor is, but it appears on the door to Moria, of all places. Anyway, this is much easier to incorporate into costumes and doesn’t clash with the usual aesthetic, so it gets incorporated into costumes of Fëanor and his family fairly regularly. I hadn’t planned to use it much-- I am much more fond of the sigil I spoke of before-- but as I thought about symmetry I had the thought of creating a design around the Star of Fëanor as a shooting star, off-centered, with a trail of... something behind it. 

Which of course doesn’t work on white, but I had already thought about doing a more casual ensemble, probably with other things layered over top of it, so I came up with this:

The trail from the star is chiffon, and the colors follow the colors in the flames of his sigil. It’s asymmetrical-- if you look carefully, I don’t even have the neckline symmetrical-- and filling the black field of the coat with little swarovski stars was a concept that appealed greatly. I could even make them iridescent, if I wanted. 

That left me with the formal version, which I quickly realized was going to be its own thing rather than layered over top of this. I started with two vague ideas and a general purpose: use the sigil, mimic the spiral of the black coat, and make it as Extra™ as possible. In my mind, that last part meant “lots of layers! lots of details!” Only... as I started drawing, I found myself wanted to do something else. Rather than adding layer upon layer, I could remove one, or part of one, not by removing the piece of the ensemble, but by making it transparent. If I was using crystals as a jumping off point, it made sense. 

So, after a bunch of sketching and playing around, I have this:

The lowest layer is simple-- white pants, white shirt, white boots. Which I’ll be making, because of who I am as a person. On top of that I have a fairly traditional elven robe-- similar in design to things that appear in the films-- only it’s made of the most transparent chiffon I can find. It’ll probably have embroidery on the trim, though design is still in question-- I don’t picture Mr. I Make Gems But Never Bothered Learning To Make Boats being all that in tune with the natural world, so the usual vines and things are out. 

On top of that, I have an asymmetrical coat similar to the black, casual coat above. On this one the spiral continues around the back, and it is just gold, rather than the gradient... though this layer may be lined in the gradient. It is on this layer that the sigil appears; it, the details above it, and all the blue on (the outside of) the tunic will be done in colored crystals-- which they make in a curved leaf shape that resembles the flames on the sigil, something I plan to take full advantage of. I decided I needed another detail, when it hit me: dude invented the tengwar, I should put script on it. The fact that I will have black elvish writing on a gold element amuses me, because anyone who has seen anything about the LOTR movies will find it familiar at least. The fact that I am planning on having the script be the Oath of Fëanor is my own personal in joke with myself. 

The cape was a whole other challenge, as it needed to be just right to pull the whole thing together looking elfy enough. I finally settled on this design, having tried a few others-- Elrond wears a cape like this a couple of times. But the cape is probably my favorite part, overall. It is probably velvet. It could be worn with the black, too, giving me several ways to be my trash fave. Anyway. It’s lined with, you guessed it, the gradient of the flames, and is white on the black-- including that Star, that will be in clear, maybe iridescent gems. It has more of the transparent-ish organza (no idea how that will move but I love the concept too much to not) in an asymmetrical cut on one corner. The idea here is that from the back he is cloaked entirely in white, but when he turns (dramatically tossing his cape, probably), the colors are revealed-- it is designed for maximum Drama™, just like Fëanor.

Anyway, it’s not happening any time soon as all of this is going to be hideously expensive, but I’m excited that it’s actually a thing. 

[an-evolved-dinosaur]

Nuclear Throne Character Review

So I’ve been binging all the @bogleech monster reviews I can and because not only does he for some reason not share my exact opinions on everything, and because I can’t expect him to constantly review all the things I want to see reviews I figured I could take matters into my own hands and review the monster designs of the things I enjoy!

Nuclear Throne is a special game to me. Nuclear Throne is probably one of the first games I really got into despite maybe the fnaf games, and even then I never really got that far into the fanbase and actively contributed the way I had for Nuclear Throne. I made fanart I talked on the subreddit, I even made a B-tier fangame/mod for the game called “Hells Gate” ( I swear that I was not being edgy when I was making this ) which you can still play even if it's a bit buggy here.

Point is, I thought about Nuclear Throne a lot and a piece of media can really only do that to such a degree if it's got a great world, and a great world to me means great monsters. So this is me spoiling right off the bat that I will probably/for sure be biased towards positivity regarding this game’s creatures.

Whatever thought right? I can enjoy things. In this first part I’ll be reviewing the designs of the Nuclear Throne playable characters, the adorable freaks and monsters that you play, fighting through hordes of other mutants and interdimensional time cops (which we will get to later) to finally get a chance to sit upon the titular Nuclear Throne, which we will also get into later.

So without further ado, review under the cut!

ALSO WARNING UNDER THE CUT IS 6000 WORDS

FISH

The very first character we see in nuclear throne is this adorable fish-man appropriately titled “FISH”. Writing this review really makes me wonder how many fish-people you see these days. To the best of my knowledge up until recently with Breath of the Wild and Del Toro giving us a bunch of fish-people in the spotlight fish-people characters a few in number compared to other kinds of anthropomorphic monsters, at least as main characters and not enemies. Compared to the rest of the cast Fish is one of the more normal characters, and it’s always a good thing when “Fish-human hybrid” is what you classify as the baseline form of normal, or at least standard, character.

Each character in the game has both a passive ability and an active ability. Fish’s abilities are gaining more ammo from chests and being able to perform a dodge-roll. What? That doesn’t make sense for a fish man? Well it's actually quite simple. Nuclear Throne is a post-apocalyptic story, set in a timeline where an unknown radioactive catastrophe resulted in the destruction of mankind totally, and humans have been totally replaced by mutants and monsters. Clearly, this is an ideal world.

Fish, as shown with his loading screen dialogue, used to be a normal human police officer before the apocalypse struck and he was mutated into a fish-person but was otherwise unscathed. It strikes up a few questions as to how radiation turned someone into a fish but hey, this is just the kind of world they live in.

The abilities fish have make sense for a cop I guess but I am disappointed that he lacks any fishy-traits aside from a trail of bubbles behind him during the roll which brings up some odd questions as to how he's propelling himself.

The way he’s drawn is pretty good. While a fish-man is a great start and the huge fish-lips, big eyebrows, and bright green and yellow colour palette make him decently recognisable, the design isn’t especially clever, and the original creature from the black lagoon was certainly more fishy and monstrous than this guy (that could be chalked up to art-style, but what else can I complain about this fish man who can roll).

Fish can roll.

Crystal

Crystal is the second character in Nuclear Throne and, along with fish, one of the two characters unlocked at the start of the game. This represents, as I’m sure you can tell, the female half of the starting duo. It’s good to see female characters be allowed to not at all look feminine, especially when there’s no reason a rock has to look like a lady simply because it identifies as one. Crystal is a wonderful little rock lady made of some unknown purple gem that just happens to be able to think and move around like any other mutant. Again the question of how radiation made a rock come alive, but we’re given no indication that the characters of this world aren’t just wrong and the green mutation goop is something else entirely.

I love how even compared to the rest of the official art Crystal has been given tiny little legs and no torso with just a huge gaping mouth instead. Of course a rock doesn’t need a torso, whats it gotta keep in there? Compared to most rock monsters we see in fiction Crystal is a shining star. Most seem to be either brutish, dull, or both with the notable exception of lego’s little crystal goblins which give me the same sort of lovable gem goblin vibe with giant mouths and stubby limbs.

Crystal has more health, which makes sense for someone made of some kind of rock (generally considered tougher than flesh), and can also create a temporary crystal shield around herself. This actually brings up more questions as to how she generates this rock, as well as how come that rock doesn’t harm her when hit, can she produce theoretically infinite rock? We’ll never know I guess. These abilities are much more my style as they directly correlate to what we can see in her design which is way more important in a roguelike with little story than lore-related abilities - since few people would be able to notice.

Ideal woman.

EYES

Eyes is the 3rd character on the roster and generally the second character that people unlock, but on the roster is the first that can be. This lively gentleman is unlocked by reaching the sewers, with the implication being that your character found this blue eyeball-monster hiding from the giant rats and frogmen which we might talk about later maybe. We know nothing about eyes, considering that he is unable to speak in any fashion because the apocalypse resulted in them mutating dozens of eyes over their whole face, replacing his mouth and all other facial features with more eyes. However, the loading screen tips indicate that Eyes knows a lot more than his mute physiology suggests.

Nuclear Throne was released a while before Bloodborne was, and so Eyes takes the trophy for first video game thing with a bunch of eyes as a head that I have ever seen. This makes the design even more original and a wonderful first dive into the more out there parts of this game’s world. Eyes gives off such a B-movie monster vibe which is something I absolutely love in this game, looking like something out of a pulp fiction 50s comic and somehow even more lovable than any of the real deal.

Eyes has some abilities that, despite not really making that much sense, make total sense. Eyes, of course, can see in the dark which isn’t really that helpful an ability in my opinion, but makes perfect sense considering the guy’s all eye, kinda an extension of how they say deaf or blind people have heightened sense (considering I only have one accumulative working eye, I’d like to get my super-hearing thank you very much). They can also use telekinesis which fits perfectly with a brain-heavy character design. The thing about their telekinesis is that it specifically pushes bullets and enemy projectiles away while pulling enemies and other living things. This is obviously a game-mechanic thing giving the player a reason not to just constantly be using their power, but in my opinion, gives just a neat little touch to the abilities of Eyes. It's not a power, its a mutation they got from dangerous radiation, so of course, it won’t be perfect.

Eyes has seen a lot.

MELTING

Next up on our roster is the ever-adorable Melting, whose name is pretty self-explanatory as to what this character is. Melting is usually the first character that players unlock as you acquire them when you die for the first time. Does this mean that when your character dies their body becomes a walking mass of melted flesh over a skeleton or is it that your corpse attracts these freakish mutants, we’ll never know until Rami decides to give us that goddamn lorebook we all need. The character of Melting is pretty apparent from one look at his face, so sad it seems his bones form a perpetual frown. Every loading screen tip we get tells us how much this poor sack of flesh just hates being alive. Everything is too cold they’re very tired all the time and they would really be doing anything other than fight through hordes of mutant horrors.

The design itself is something I enjoy. I swear I’m not edgy as I say that a sad melting flesh skeleton is totally my aesthetic. Melting zombie creatures isn’t a totally original concept, in fact, one of the most famous zombies is a melting black sludge-man, but I’ve rarely seen the idea taken so far as they have with Melting. Rarely do I see zombies with the flesh really sloughing off their face to the point where half their skull is exposed, nor do I see the flesh be just a mass of skin-colored flesh rather than detailed and bloody. It actually makes it look more like cancer taking over a long-dead body.

Melting’s abilities make a fair bit of sense when thought about. Not only does Melting have less health (because he kinda does have less body, its all melted off!) but they passively gain more radiation from enemies. We don’t know how being a melting pile grants you more radiation, is it that the character themselves radiates the enemies around them, can they just extract more radiation from their enemies? Their active is a heck of a lot more interesting. When activating their ability Melting will turn every corpse they can see into a big, meaty, explosion. Yes that’s right, with a mouse-click every corpse makes a wet meaty sound and explodes. There’s no explanation for how on earth he can do this, but it makes sense all the same. Does being a corpse grant you the ability to explode them?

Another cool fact is that when melting dies rather than just lay on the floor dead, a white ghostly spirit floats out smiling. Does this mean Melting isn’t alive at all but is a ghost trapped inside a long-dead corpse? That’s such a nice little touch that it brings up such an already good design to a top-tier monster.

Melting is tired, let them sleep.

PLANT

The first mutant of the roster explicitly known to not have come from a human, Plant is what happens when whatever this world calls radiation seeps into a regular houseplant. Regardless of what Plant came from (which is indicated to have been a normal flower rather than the carnivorous plants they resemble), their newfound sentience seems to have resulted in a creature of complete and utter violence, chanting lovely phrases such as “BLOOD BLOOD BLOOD” and “KILL KILL KILL”. Does the game imply that all plant-creatures have developed a lust for violence, or are they saying that all plant harbor a desire for mindless killing and their immobile bodies are the only thing saving us? Regardless the idea of a plant creature, typically known for being stereotypical pacifist creatures of nature, being the most violent part of a roster including a melting zombie, a 50s sci-fi villain, and the creature from the green lagoon is a lovely image a suitably ironic for my taste.

In terms of design Plant is decently generic, of course, a heck of a lot better than most other plant-monsters that serve as characters (with most being just bark-skinned people) but compared to the stereotypical idea of a carnivorous plant monster they’re pretty standard. There are a couple little touches I do enjoy however that at least put them in the top tier of Plant-monsters. Such as the 3 legs rather than having a vertebrae-like quadrupedal stance, which gives them that bit of plant-ness and separates Plant from being a green animal. I also like the huge white head with the bright red lips, it certainly makes Plant easier to read than if they only had various shades of green.

Plant’s abilities are certainly interesting. Plant is naturally faster than any other character in the game, presumably because whatever decided that radiation gives plants legs should give them really good legs or because Plant is really good at taking down prey. Their active is a little more standard for a plant-monster. They are able to shoot out a seed which grows instantly into a web of vines to slow down and trap enemies, the game even added the nice little touch of allowing bigger enemies to slowly leave the vine-snare!

One more thing of note is that you find Plant by reaching the Scrapyard, which is a place filled with robots, crows, and fire-breathing salamanders. Did plant come to the scrapyard on purpose? Did they get trapped and that’s why they come with you?

Feed him Seymour!

YUNG VENUZ

NOW EVERYONE LISTEN UP! RIGHT NOW I AM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT YV WAS INVENTED WELL BEFORE BILL CIPHER, SO PLEASE STOP THINKING THAT THOUGHT I KNOW YOU ARE THINKING!!!

Anyway, back to the real topic. Apart from Fish, the first character you even see on the roster, YV is probably the most iconic character in all of Nuclear Throne just by virtue of how totally absurd he is. I’ll first go over how you unlock YV because he’s one of the more secret characters that is pretty difficult to unlock. First, you need to find the screwdriver weapon and get to the scrapyard. In the first scrapyard level, you’ll find a car with wings and you need to hit the car with the screwdriver. At this point you can enter the car and proceed to fly into space to the planet Venus, you’ll then enter a mansion on the planet Venus thus unlocking YV. This in and of itself is already absurd without getting into the character himself. In this world of radiation and monsters there just also happens to be a working society on Venus where one of the citizens is a white triangle with a giant eyeball and they’re all obsessed with gang culture and guns.

The actual physical design of Yung Venuz is pretty basic, just a regular old Illuminati reference, but what really makes him shine is his personality. Yung Venus, canonically, is the funniest fucking thing and I love him so much. YV is obsessed with guns (gunz), gold, and rap music which seems to come from observing earth-life during a pre-apocalypse time and then obsessing over it. Every weapon from his homeland is made of gold for some reason and this makes the gunz better. YV is the king of Venus because in a previous game by Nuclear Throne’s creators he killed the old king and took his place.  YV really does act like an alien trying to get in on a subculture a few centuries too late, with a hip-teen way of spelling things which he apparently made the official language of Venus and a surface-level obsession with gang-culture (like his hatred of “Dad Popo” and love of gunz).

Apparently, his love of gunz did him good because he’s been playing with them for so long that both his abilities make him better at using them. Not only does he have a faster rate of fire than any other character, being so in tune with guns he can ignore basic reloading principles and just make the gun go faster but his active ability lets him fire the same gun twice in the same shot, shooting two bullets or shells or whatever. These abilities are not only the reason YV is considered one of if not the most powerful character in the game, but also perfect in showing that this guy is a Gun God.

Oh yeah right, being the king of Venus also made YV a literal god of Gunz, to the point where he doesn’t actually die. Instead, he just has a temper tantrum after losing too much health and teleports back to his mansion presumably to practice his rap.

Get mor Gunz

STEROIDS

So next on the roster, and after the famous YV, we get a comparatively normal mutant in the form of Steroids (again, the reasoning behind the name should be obvious). This big beef-cake is unlocked by reaching the labs, this is because the huge muscle-bound character comes from a human scientist and isn’t actually the result of a mutation. Steroids was a scientist studying something and because of this, he found out about the apocalypse, prompting him to pump up with every steroid under the sun to allow him to live safely in the new world. Overall I enjoy the, admittedly simple, idea of a scientist pumping himself up with medicine to survive in an apocalypse, and especially enjoy how it suggests that something went on in those labs that lead to the disaster.

Overall the design is quite simple, especially compared to the other character designs we have seen, although at the very least it’s an idea I haven’t seen played out by a protagonist/good-aligned character (the closest I can think of to steroids would be any number of resident evil bosses). While the design is simplistic I will admit that adding more nonsense would ruin the concept somewhat, and to be fair there’s only so many ways “steroid man” can be drawn).

Steroids have a couple abilities both based on just being shredded and jacked as hell. Steroid’s passive ability is that all his weapons are fully automatic, thanks to his arms being strong enough to handle and shoot a gun without suffering recoil or needing a second hand - I actually like this ability since it makes a fair amount of sense and, since Steroids is not a mutant, his abilities being strictly possible also makes sense. Similarly, Steroids can shoot both weapons at the same time, which I have the same opinions on as his passive. Overall Steroids is pretty simplistic but only compared to the other characters of nuclear Throne and I could think him a great idea in any other post-apocalyptic game, if not the top tier idea.

I heard that Steroids had an 8-pack, that steroids is shredded.

ROBOT

Out next mutant is not actually a mutant, but more of a byproduct of the world that resulted in the apocalypse. Robot is found in the Frozen City, a place covered with ice and filled with various robots that might be so cold because of nuclear winter, which is an interesting take on the idea of a cold-apocalyptic place and serves as a great explanation for why only robots have managed to survive there, that snow might just be fallout! Admittedly we don’t get too much personality for Robot aside from the fact that they speak in binary code, although it's implied that something gave this otherwise normal robot sapience, causing it to go rogue and join the mutants. I appreciate how rather than mutating, they get “upgrades” (don’t ask me to explain how radiation causes a computer to update).

I can’t really say a robot is an overdone idea for a post-apocalyptic setting any more than I can say “living thing” is overdone, and luckily the robot design in question looks wonderful. Aside from just finding it adorable, this shining robot stands out from the buckets of rust we see in other fictional apocalypse settings, that’s not to ignore how a presumably sapient character being quadrupedal is practically unheard of - it’s always nice to see this game step even a bit out of bounds for normal character design. The red glowing eye is pretty standard, but overall Robot is recognizable and distinct from most other robots in apocalypse media.

Robot has some okay abilities. They passively find better weapons which thematically connects to the idea of an advanced robot, but doesn’t make too much sense in-fiction. Their active ability, which allows them to consume one of their weapons to gain more ammo or health, is significantly more interesting. This implies that robot is eating and “digesting” guns (and presumably other mechanical things) to gain health or make ammo. Is this a trait of all robots in the NT universe, or is Robot made to recycle, giving it this ability?

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CHICKEN

Okay, now we’re back to the real kooky stuff that nuclear throne is great at - the kind of thing you’d expect to find in a 50s pulp comic or a weird 80s cartoon - without next lovely lady Chicken. Nuclear Throne really has a way of making female characters just as monstrous as the dudes/unknowns doesn’t it? Chicken is a pretty late-game unlock since you need to access a secret area which requires you getting a specific mutation and then getting to a later stage with enough health to feed the portal to access the Jungle, which is a great area we’ll talk about later. Boy is it worth it to get her though, Chicken seems like something straight out of a TMNT ripoff doesn’t she?

We cannot talk about her physical design without bringing in her character. Chicken is the end result of a farm-hen getting mutated into an anthropomorphic version of her old self, but the fun doesn’t stop there. After mutating human-level intelligence she found dozens of old 80s action and martial arts movies from before the apocalypse and became obsessed with them. This prompted her to train in martial arts and become Chicken Jackie Chan. Furry chickens aren’t that original an idea, although once again I have never seen one in fiction. Luckily they avoid the easy-way-out and didn’t give her mammal breasts for no reason! In general her design is funny and a great take on a tired concept in a new genre (ie not furry art) and the personality and backstory make her all the more amazing.

Now we’re going to talk about her active ability first before we get onto her passive. When you activate her ability Chicken throws her weapon in the direction of your mouse, hitting enemies for a progressively increasing amount of damage.This is a great way to bring in her personality as it sets up for a playstyle much more like the traditional action heroes of the 80s as you throw her weapon and shoot off the remaining health as you dash into the crowd to get it back. Now her passive ability is... really something.

When chicken takes fatal damage she doesn’t die right away. Instead, she loses her head and you have a few seconds to try and find health of any kind, which will cause her to regrow her head with slightly less maximum health. This is an absolutely great mechanic. Not only does it let players get a bit more ridiculous and action-hero-like but it ties in perfectly with her design, “of course a chicken could survive without their head, everyone knows that”.

Chicken starts with a katana, the weeb.

REBEL

Rebel is probably the closest we’re going to get to a character with a clear backstory and arc. Coming in at 9th on the roster Rebel requires the player to beat the throne and then get thrown into an alternate dimension because that’s a thing that this world is all about, alternate dimensions. Regardless Rebel has a clear connection to the bandits, a common enemy that appear throughout almost every stage in the game and serve as the basic cannon-fodder in the areas. The only notable difference is the colour of her one eye and scarf, which are green and blue instead of red and brown. I’ll reveal the specifics of her story in a review of the bandit enemies, but I’m sure from the name Rebel you can take a guess as to what happened.

The design of rebel is great in my opinion, and probably the closest to the modern fallout-style post-apocalyptic setting that this game gets outside of the bandit enemies themselves. While we see almost nothing of her actual body (oh yeah this is another female character by the by) but eh covering of bandages give us a clue that the mutations she received may not have been so pleasant, likely something more like radiation burns that being turned into a perfectly normal fish-man. The one eye adds an air of mystery as to exactly what is behind the bandages, which elevates the design to the top of the list of other bandit-style enemies in games, and makes her one of the subtler designs that gets pulled of super effectively.

Her abilities are something that really makes her shine, and shows that what is under those bandages definitely isn’t human. She passively heals half the health she lost in-between levels, which points to some significant regenerative abilities which get expanded on when we see her ability is to spawn short-lived mini clones that will fight for her before exploding in a shower of blood and radiation. It should be noted that allies take away her health, which points to her creating these smaller bandits out of her own body - is this how all bandits are made? Do bandits usually live for such short timespans or is it just that Rebel isn’t adept at creating them?

Fallout watch out, these are the superior bandits.

HORROR

We’re getting near the end of the roster here, and the characters do not go downhill in quality to any degree. Horror here is a positively adorable character the likes of which I have never seen before. The way you unlock Horror is pretty much the explanation for how they came to be. If you stop destroying radiation canisters, items found once per level that gives you a bunch of rads (the equivalent for experience in this game), eventually the cans get bigger and bigger until they burst open and you fight Horror as a sort of miniboss. I’ve asked this before but what on earth is this radiation supposed to actually be? Last time I checked radiation can’t gain sentience!

Horror’s design is undeniably wonderful. Not only is living radiation something I’ve seen done not once before in any media, much less post-apocalyptic genre, but the way that the developers chose to design this living pile of rads is unique and wonderful. Rather than making a meaningless pile of rads as weaker designs might have done, Horror has a distinctive design that differentiates itself from not just energy-creatures, but energy creatures that ape of the look of dogs as well! I love the details put into the inside of that huge gaping maw which is made to look like the strange portals that transport players between levels. That little detail gives us so much information about the lore of this unusual world that it makes me love the design even more.

Horror has some great abilities. Whenever a character in Nuclear Throne gains enough rads, they level up and during the next level screen, they can choose a mutation which will upgrade their character in any number of ways. Usually, players only have a choice of 4 randomly selected mutations, but playing as horror means you get an extra option with a total of 5 mutations to select from. While this doesn’t necessarily connect to the idea of radiation, the way it plays out mechanically and thematically in the world of Nuclear Throne gives us that connection. Horror’s active is slightly more obvious but has a lovely twist. When activating their ability Horror spews out a beam of pure radiation, which drains the players rad count/experience and damages enemies. While this on its own is a neat way to incorporate the fact that Horror is a collection of energy in a shape rather than a creature limited to one form, enemies that get hit with the rad beam will also drop more rads when they die. Horror’s beam actually makes the enemies suffer from radiation damage!

Horror is the ideal dog.

ROGUE

Rogue is the final (unlockable) character on the Nuclear Throne roster and wait, did the devs run out of ideas finally, oh GOD! Well don’t worry, because Rogue is actually a very interesting character and even designed decently. Rogue is unlocked by reaching the Nuclear Throne itself and sitting on it claiming all its power, whatever that is, for yourself. This then prompts a short cutscene where the Inter-Dimensional-Police-Department looks at your character sitting on the chair and then send some officers to “deal with the problem” the same way most police do. I’ll talk about the IDPD in depth later on but the short of it is they are a task force form a timeline where the apocalypse didn’t occur that set out to prevent anyone from dimensions that suffered the apocalypse from gaining control over the throne. Considering how on-the-nose most of the names have been thus far I’m sure you can guess that Rogue had, well, gone rogue and joined the band of mutants.

There's not much to say about the design but I do want to commend the developers for explicitly making Rogue a black woman. They could just as easily given her white skin or made her a dude, but they decided that it was worth the not-extra-effort to give people a black woman character such as Rogue. Now aside from that Rogue is a pretty generic space-police design. I am disappointed to say that despite having one of the more complex and known backstories of the game Rogue is a relatively bland looking character when compared to the lineup of mutants we’ve just been looking at.

Rogue is actually one of the harder characters to play, and part of that is the slew of abilities she has that can impede her progress. Her basic ability is that whenever she takes damage her suit will create explosions that are harmless to her but deal serious damage to things in close proximity (this, however, includes objects that will explode upon death and kill the player). In addition to this, whenever she spawns into a level additional IDPD enemies, which are some of the harder enemies in the game, will spawn around her as they try to take down a rogue operative.

The reason they hunt down this one rogue officer is that she stole some powerful technology that they don’t want to get into the wrong hands. Radiation canisters are actually replaced completely by special ammo canisters, which give fuel for her to use a special weapon which deals huge amounts of explosive damage across an area of the players choosing. Overall these abilities are great, and really put the pressure on the player and serve to naturally indicate the story of this character rather than just giving loads of text about her.

Direct Action.

SKELETON

Now wait, didn’t I just say Rogue was the last unlockable character? Well, I did, but these next two characters are secret characters and aren’t unlocked like all the other characters are. Skeleton here cannot be chosen when you start the game. Instead, you have to play as Melting and get to the labs. The labs contain an enemy that will not attack, but instead, revive any dead enemies in a circle. You have to die within that circle as they revive enemies, prompting your character to be revived as this skeleton! I think this is an absolutely ingenious way of creating a secret character and a cool reward for players who played a difficult character to a later stage and pulled off a neat trick. Skeleton doesn’t really have lore or personality beyond “The way you unlock them” and “Angry Skeleton” but sometimes that’s all you need.

The design of Skeleton is just a skeleton, and there really isn’t anything to it. I do enjoy how its character-specific mutations just show that this guy is super really angry all the time but beyond that, the character is just a normal-looking gun-toting skeleton (of course, that being a disappointingly normal character says something about the game). One little touch I do like is how Skeleton is always seen as hunched over and limping. They’re an undead nightmare without anything other than bones! Of course they’d struggle to walk.

Skeleton’s abilities just make life harder for them. When you respawn as Skeleton you get 4 health (more health than Melting but less than other characters), less speed, and less accuracy. Overall this pushes the “Undead nightmare that hates life” idea really well! (God never thought I’d say that). Their active is a bit more interesting. Skeleton can shoot their gun without ammo, but risk losing what little health they have. While there’s no solid explanation, my personal theory is that they “revive” the bullet that they just exploded which can risk removing the necromantic energy that keeps them alive! These abilities are just the right combo of perfectly logical and absurd yet still connected to the character that the best characters in the game have.

Secret Skeleton.

FROG

There are only two secret characters in Nuclear Throne, leaving frog as the last character we’ll be reviewing in this installation. Frog is actually a palette swap of an enemy we see in the second stage later in the game (which we might look at later) and you unlock them by equipping your character on the loading screen with a special golden “frog gun” you can find after fighting the Frog Mom boss. I like to think this shows Frog as a special child of the From Mom, perhaps this is the baby form of the next Frog Mom? We probably won't ever find out but that’s what I like to say. While we don’t get much backstory about the character despite the very unusual unlock mechanism we do get a lion’s share of personality from Frog. Every moment of your game Frog is moving from the moment you hit play to even when you sit on the Nuclear Throne itself. Frog keeps moving her legs in the chair, adorable! The design of Frog is great as well. A giant frog isn’t actually something I’ve seen a lot outside of fantasy fiction or that one Ben 10 episode, and even if Frog doesn’t reach the absurd proportions as her Mom she’s still a huge Frog. I appreciate the design for being something super simplified but at least to me immediately recognizable as a frog-like creation, with those huge thicc legs and the giant mouth taking up most of the body it almost feels like a frog that has been streamlined and made more efficient. Those glowing green eyes really settle in not only the radiation theme present throughout the game but also the characters relation to toxins (which we’ll get onto later). I really do enjoy this design both in concept and in execution and it overall makes a great end to the roster of Nuclear Throne characters. Frog has some fun little abilities that mimic the enemies she seems to be related to. Frog is unable to stop moving in any capacity without the use of her ability. When you press a directional key she’ll walk off in that direction, bouncing off any walls that get in her way, and the only way to get her to stop is to use her ability. Activating Frog’s ability will finally get her to stop moving as she builds up a cloud of poisonous gas, releasing the ability button will send Frog on her merry way and cause her to release a cloud of gas that gets bigger the longer you stay still for. Luckily she’s immune to that stuff unlike any other character in the game (just like the other Frog-creatures). Overall I really enjoy these abilities and I think the Frogmen where a great enemy to try and translate into a character as it creates a unique mechanic o work around unlike any other Nuclear Throne character. Froppy! Froppy! Froppy!

And so we have finally reached the end of this huge and absurdly long look into the designs of the 12 (+ 2 secret characters) characters in Nuclear Throne. What a great ride it’s been. Nuclear Throne is something special in post-apocalyptic media being something that’s fun, lively, and cheesy all in a purposeful way and still has great care put into the designs of the characters. Nuclear Throne brings back a particular kind of designs that I thought was lost in the old pulp science fiction era (even Fallout, a game based on that era of sci-fi, still has their designs follow modern standards pretty closely). No other post-apocalyptic game I’ve seen dives into the absurd with such dedication and form.

[elizabethrobertajones]

I think Destiel is the show's end game but they want it to be the very last thing. So they set up the story around season 8/9 because they didn't really know if they were gonna get picked up and they had to dial it back up when it continued. Now it started again during season 12 knowing the show is gonna end in the next couple of years for sure without it being cancelled. Maybe? Thoughts? Love your meta!

Hi! Love you too!

I weirdly had a conversation about this yesterday in private so I’ve managed to actually coalesce some thoughts about this… Lots of thoughts.

Seeing as I joined fandom in the end of season 9, I basically joined a fandom that had been pretty hurt by the spec that season 8 might have been endgame if the show was cancelled… Obviously we’re never going to get any sort of statement on it until after we know the definitive line on whatever else they were doing with Destiel after the point it matters, so it’s going to be small potatoes if it was or not. 

But I don’t particularly think that it actually WAS - and the different way Cas, and his and Dean’s relationship, was portrayed in season 8 immediately threw a whole bunch of fuel on the fire but it was shocking in a way that it was being given attention rather than specifically being romantic, and it’s hard to tell the two apart, especially when you’re looking in the subtext and seeing romantic stuff, which when you’re a starving shipper suddenly seems like a feast of both charged interaction AND the old subtext, which is suddenly slathered all over everything when Cas is a major part of Dean’s emotional arc for the first time (in a good way). 

(LOTS more under the cut)

Whether there was an intent or not, season 8 changed the game and without knowing what they were doing or where it would lead (aka hello I am Hindsight from the future) it would look pretty shocking and suggestive that something might come of it. Because I know I’d flip out in the same scenario just from wondering, and kind of feel like I’m in the same place after season 12, because again it feels like the game changed.

I’m trying hard not to leap to conclusions to be honest, and I do *not* want to be in the middle of it which is partially why I’ve reacted so strongly to twice in the last month people using me as some sort of fandom leader whose words mean more than others’, because I really really hope not and I wish I didn’t have to disclaimer it because it makes my ego look enormous but on the other hand twice in a month is a pretty frightening wake up call about how people see me?

So. 

Even if it was written with intent in season 8, we’re so far past the point that if that was their plan they could have delayed it over and over without doing something substantial *in Carver era* about it, that it twists the fandom narrative about this into the show being very cruel. This narrative is a great one for people who feel wanky, to feel like they’ve got justified reasons to be upset that it didn’t happen and that they’re getting strung along. I’m not saying everyone who thinks that Destiel was slated to go canon in season 8 does, but it is a great narrative for those who do to feel somewhat certain the show is deliberately dangling and then holding back on Destiel, because nothing bonds a community like feeling as if some more important group of people is mistreating them. Justified rage and all that. If you don’t like the show because you feel it got kinda shitty over the last few years but instead need to take it as a personal betrayal in order to break up with the show, it’s a great thing to get riled up about. The bait and switch seems clear to them, and there’s been many discussions of the way they seem to build up only to yank away, in every season since 8. And part of the build up is meta writers freaking out about how canon it all looks and being naturally excited to see what happens with the story they’ve been reading positively (and this isn’t our fault, though some people think we’re complicit in queerbaiting just by wanting to analyse the show and give any credit to teasing the ship by pointing out its structural integrity).

Some people who see the idea it was going to be canon in season 8 positively also tell this as a way of making themselves feel good that it has been on the books and therefore has a chance of going canon in the future. 

You can get the same story of the show’s intent in two different places, but the ONLY way we can ever construct this narrative is by reading into the show and trying to guess at what they’re doing because they’ve never admitted to writing a Destiel narrative. 

A side effect of the 9x03 wank was a bemused message from someone waaaay up the chain and out of the writers’ room, who said they’d never been pitched the story. I’m inclined to believe that, because I don’t believe in any conspiracy except for the NHI (shh don’t ask if you don’t remember :P), meaning that at no point in season 8 was it EVER anything more than subtextual fun from the writers among themselves. And nothing that was on the books at least in the first half of season 9. Like, at the most generous thought that it might be later if you REALLY want to go hard on theorising about what they’re up to, it wasn’t at that point. 

(The NHI sprang from 10x10 so I’m covered there.)

(Also if you see people handwave 9x03′s wank as a conspiracy to cover it up and that it HAD been real but NDAs mean they’d say it wasn’t, don’t use a pinch of salt, put a whole salt circle around that thought and run away.)

Another thing about this sort of expectation or narrative is that I feel the recent meta writers wank has made it really obvious there’s still people in fandom hanging on for fanon content and character stanning who really don’t need more canon to unfurl, ever, and are only going to get more angry about it, and were hurt at some point in one of these mass-wanks about the show, probably one of these early positivity bubble bursts, but who nevertheless feel like meta still has some sort of mystical power or social influence or… something or other… that from how it sounds, seems like they were once all in on the “it should be canon at the end of season 8″ hype or equivalent for their season, and of course were shattered when it didn’t happen. 

And if season 8 didn’t finish them off, later things did - season 9 was a horrific obstacle course even just with 9x03′s wank and then JIB at the end of the year and the “we don’t play it that way” comment. Which I am contractually obliged to repeat every time I quote Jensen to give context of “as in a secret relationship where they’ve been fucking off screen as per whatever dirty fanart he was shown to get the concept of what he thought Destiel was”

I am fairly certain that season 8 hype was partially manufactured (a Known Fandom Cultist was in the mix and the heady combination of a new big fandom flooding tumblr from Netflix and all the season 8 subtext AND the chance for attention and followers is a wonderful mix for exploitation when the fandom hasn’t been hurt before from this particular direction), and definitely this hype was used to whip the fandom up into a frenzy of expectation that a lot of people either innocently repeated or expanded on in their own meta because the idea sounded interesting or halfway plausible based on their theories (as it was a positive growth of Destiel subtext and narrative ANYWAY) or they thought we deserved the best world of the show, or else they weren’t meta writers and just read it and bought into it and allowed this narrative to have *incredible* power over them by putting all their thoughts into someone else’s basket, and sharing the ideas and being excited in gifsets and fic and other fandom contributions for how the show had become a romance overnight.

(Spoilers: it hadn’t.) 

I don’t like theories which use abstract examples to hold up to the show like basic plot structures, character arc templates, etc, pretty much exactly for this reason, because you can ONLY apply those as analysis backwards on finished arcs without immediately being wrong about something, and that’s a generous thought for if you’re not trying to whip up a frenzy of enthusiasm for fake emotional currency of Tumblr followers :P Essentially I have no problem with meta written about this sort of thing so long as it isn’t “they ARE using this trope so this HAS TO MEAN that this WILL happen,” or “they ARE employing such and such narrative structure and that means they WILL do this next step exactly as it says here” 

… I could crack open my copy of The Seven Basic Plots right, now, pick one at random, apply it to the season 13 spoilers with dead certainty that it all adds up to Destiel and cash in my entire reputation on a 1/7 chance of being utterly right that the structure will look like it’s going that way to the letter, and hope I’d only lose a third of my new followers in the resulting storm when I’m not right about the pay off :P 

If you just think it’s interesting and might be USEFUL to try and UNDERSTAND what will happen next, then by all means as long as you’re not using it and hoping that it sounds academic will mean people without a good grounding in rationalising these things for themselves will just assume you’re smart and know what you’re talking about. And then you use it to push home ideas which you can’t possibly know like that Destiel is being built up to go canon at the end of the season/endgame or whatever, some people will go right along with it because it’s tantalising.

Whatever happened, though, I have heard more than enough since joining fandom about the end of season 8 wank and people quitting the fandom and basically the first positivity bubble shattering (over an episode I feel does no harm and considerable good to the ship without making it canon), so that even before season 9 the wank and bitterness about many things such as the disproportionate freak out about Tracey Bell being a love interest or rumours spread that April or Nora would be multi-episode love interests for Cas, had everyone behaving like the way fandom does before every season or character announcement now. Which is to get disproportionately upset about things which have not yet happened, because they’re already feeling *so hurt* by the things which have, for not living up to the expectations, that surely everything is IT, the END, the thing that will kill Destiel out of the show forever. Every female character is a threat and everyone’s always certain the show is out to damage the thing they love just out of spite.

(I know some people will pop up like, it’s not about the ship, it’s about Cas! but I really can not help feeling that it’s just a sliding of feelings from the ship, because of feeling Dean was horrible to Cas over season 9 and 10 for example, to being over-protective of Cas in particular, and, like, I get it. I do. I don’t feel it that way because I never got invested in any particular pay off that I then didn’t feel happened, and that by whatever point, Cas should be living with them or getting his own episodes on the regular or that Dean should have apologised for whatever, or that they should now be dating. I have a personal investment in this tailored to look for positive things and see good changes like Cas getting more episodes ABOUT him, a strong place in the narrative, a in-depth personal arc, and love from the cast and show. For others, almost nothing will go far enough towards what they want, so even these huge positive changes from what I experienced in season 10 as a Cas fan will get over the hurdle.)

I also think there’s a serious secondary problem that for some people the promise of “it’s going canon at the end of season 8″ turned into “well of course it got renewed so it’ll be whenever the show ends INSTEAD” but carried on essentially giving the same super positive message that Destiel was absolutely 100% on the mind of all the writers all the time as the overall conclusion of the character arc. Which is something you can almost never tell when people write about it and I think again is more like an idea that moved into general conversation so I don’t think there’s really anyone out there I encounter who is angling for anything. But it can be misleading about the concept that just because meta writers find a consistent narrative and are optimistic it will continue and be honoured through the show, that we’re saying that there’s a guaranteed endgame and everyone ought to hang onto it. 

Honestly if you can’t hack the wait, I’d much rather people went full-fanon, didn’t cast opinions on the show at all, put away the negativity in favour of enjoying the stuff they like - fics, art, canon-free headcanons, etc, and when the end of the show came, if they even halfway liked the sound of what people were saying about it, went and re-watched from the start to re-immerse themselves and try a positive take on it knowing what they were in for, canon or not. I’ve stopped watching several times out of DGAF feelings towards the show (weird dog episodes :|) and come back and again I can’t really claim to have the most healthy attitude, everyone follow my lead, but I do think I can be objective and careful about how I engage with it and try and not get sucked into negativity OR positivity rollercoasters that only go to hurt town. >.> 

I mean, I honestly feel in season 12, it’s the first time we’ve had an entire writers’ room of writers I even think *know* about it as a solid narrative construct (and yes I am including Buckleming because they DO write Destiel into the show, they just also write all the racism and rape and whatever else in along with it :P) Between the scattered application of serious subtext through Carver era and the approach to canon they occasionally winked at, they never seemed particularly competent at the work needed to actually make Destiel canon if it was EVER supposed to be building up towards it. I think the bait and switch yank away is too clever for them and their handling of the narrative :P I don’t think they’re stupid but, NHI aside, they are not up for complicated conspiracies.

To be serious, though… I know people say they saw it all the time from space, and their casual viewer mom did etc, but the fact remains they never wrote a CLEAR romance narrative except for the splitting Dean and Cas at the start of season 10 and *paralleling* their narratives with Crowley and Hannah, while everything else has been situational tropes or strong emotional narratives which could work either way. A slow burn romance in a show that will admit it’s one will use many similar tropes but also ones which expressly make it a romance that everyone’s supposed to read as happening, usually quite corny, on the nose ones, and Destiel has more of the subtextual or emotionally bonding romantic tropes than like… anything else ever… but very few of the “oops walked in on him changing, let me just accidentally turn around again on the way out the door” type nonsense that broadcasts to people on Mars that they’re going to bang, and probably soon. I say very few because there’s little outliers like the boner scene or “i can’t let you do this” which are copy pasted from corny romance, but of ALL the Destiel that happened in season 12, ONLY the mixtape crosses boundaries like that and even so people CAN argue it’s platonic love, and the only thing we can really say is nonsense is that it’s not conveying any love at all. 

Something like Crowley mourning his romance with demon!Dean and looking at photos to some sort of “all by myself” level song was very clearly a rom com trope and the one that for me sealed the deal that Drowley was intentionally meant to be seen in canon. Something like Dean and Aaron is disproportionately powerful because their main interpersonal interaction was literally described as being something from a rom com BY the director’s commentary :P Destiel is a 10 year old behemoth, largely NOT defined by rom com tropes, but with a few peppered here and there in a low enough concentration that it’s not the absolute norm to assume it’s going to happen.

But in season 12, like in season 8, Cas got a LOT of attention in the story, a good chunk of that was through Dean because Dean’s got the old profound bond, and Cas and Dean are intrinsically and inseparably connected in some ways that no amount of bro-ing up with Sam or forging a tentative friendship with Mary will do to NOT make it seem like Cas is talking to Dean first and foremost, especially when all 3 Winchesters pile through the door and Cas just says “Dean” :P 

This season has a STRONG narrative about Cas’s relationship to the Winchesters and through Dean in particular, and there’s one of the stand out romantic tropes in basically ever in this season, along with several other hallmarks of the things that made season 8 such fertile ground. 

12x10 had the crypt scene rehash to hopefully end these loops around Dean and Cas with the positive conclusion it needed, and a lot of the meta about season 8 flipped out about the human/supernatural relationships (with Charlie and Gilda foreshadowing the crypt scene perfectly, because Robbie) so 12x10 filled in a missing link from season 8, of a story about how angels might be into humans too. 

And it was the season with Aaron which was Dean’s personal stand out bi moment which made a lot of people feel the show was going to start taking it seriously on his behalf, and season 12 had Aaron back, even if it was only one scene, it was a reminder he existed and the main interesting context for most people was him and Dean. 

And season 8 had the angel fall spell, including the cupid nonsense in 8x23, and the nephilim which was the early forerunner of the suggestion of 12x10, that angels and humans can couple up, while in season 12 the angel fall spell was directly mentioned, 12x15 mirrored the first Hell trial, nephilim were back, and Crowley offered to close the gates of Hell. So season 8′s mytharc was slathered all over the season. 

And in the crypt scene Dean was supposed to say “I love you” and in 12x12 they found a way to make Cas say it instead, which I agree was the more logical progression, that Cas would crack first :P 

Anyway, season 8 was all over this season but season 12 felt amped up and going places season 8 didn’t, going several steps further and as I’ve said before to go straight from season 8 meta mindset to season 12, would utterly blow your mind. 

BUT to go right back to the start, I don’t think season 8 was building to canon Destiel ever, not even as a failsafe for cancelleation. I don’t think that the planned “I love you” was going to do more than make the fight about canon that much more bloody if it aired and doesn’t help even without it airing, knowing it was going to happen. Jensen was the one who argued it away, and they agreed for character reasons supposedly, so there was no meddling from above to say, wait, hit the brakes, we can’t barrel right into the canon build up.

I think season 8 was supposed to be used to bring Cas back in from the cold - kind of literally with using Purgatory to stagger his return - because after season 6 & 7 showing Dean cared about him in ANY way was important, and to establish that whatever Cas had done, Dean would forgive and want to rescue him and have him back in the family. I don’t think season 8 is a clean slate for Cas despite his attempt to put on the old uniform and carve a new path for himself in like… 2 episodes after he got back while he was still being fucked around with by Heaven unknowingly to him. He’s still burdened with guilt, and if anything, the season renewal is probably more to blame for stretching out Dean forgiving him than smooching him, with a lil more manufactured drama and Dean lashing out at him for season 6 & 7 in 8x22. He lashes out again in 9x22, but by season 10 he’s pretty much moved on, to be angry about like… everything else to push Cas away at the end of the season. I guess they’re living in the moment rather than the past by 10x22 :P Pfft. Sorry, got to be facetious about some things here.

I think the focus on Cas in season 8 was much more about his repentance and forgiveness from others - Metatron snags him by seeing he still wants to repent for Heaven, WHILE he’s in the gas station trying to buy stuff to repent to Dean for OTHER stuff. I think it makes perfect sense to read the season 8 narrative as a strong emotional narrative between Dean and Cas specifically engineered to delve into their relationship issues, let Cas back in to TFW, let him back into Dean’s heart, and try and establish for US what Cas is truly like as we’ve never been so deep in his head as in season 8 as a whole, except for in 6x20 where we learned A: he loved them and Dean in particular, and B: he was busy lying and betraying them and justifying it all on the slimmest reasons to keep himself going. If you love Cas, 6x20 is a goldmine. If you’re indifferent or don’t like him, as a one episode event, it might not warm your heart especially with the end of season 6 and his resulting failures, especially perceived moral ones against his friends. 

Season 8 let us right into Cas and showed us his inner processes, desires, and a narrative about how he wanted to do penance for season 6 and 7, and a feeling that Sam and Dean love him back, of course, but to them Cas is still a shaky person to depend on and Dean is going a great deal on faith that Cas is good even while thinking he’s sketchy and lying the entire time between 8x07 and 8x17, showing a conflict between Dean’s baseline faith in Cas and Cas’s behaviour towards them. Being in his head and seeing Naomi all season makes US insiders to Cas’s issues and puts us on his side firmly by knowing WHY he’s acting this way, so it’s a good storyline to nurture us through Dean’s issues with Cas while being given an inside line to being sympathetic to Cas since we know what Dean doesn’t about how he’s being controlled the entire time. 

Taken in that spirit, I can see the show just wanting to reconcile TFW and Dean and Cas in particular as a goal to shoot towards and the conclusion might just have been that they all make it good before whatever ending they had in mind for the main plot stuff. Along with a healthy dose of subtext to keep you guessing about how that relationship was. 

Anyway, as I said, I don’t like subscribing to theories which are too speculative and treating them like they’re too real and like… definitely what the show is doing… makes me really itchy for the above reasons in the fan wank section of this reply… so the one that Destiel is now being woven into season 12 to the same way it was in season 8 to the eventual aim of canon puts me off for the reasons I hope you can guess from all that rambling :P 

Even if I have hope that it MIGHT be on the books doesn’t mean I’ll really commit to saying it’s narratively going anywhere for sure, because that seems like a great way to start a cult and end up in the shame bin and reviled by people one day. I want to see fandom through to the end of the show and see what happens with you all, so short-sighted plans about building a rocket to Mars in my back yard seems like a great way to end up sitting in a fizzled out rocket still on the ground in my yard with a bunch of people who want their money back :D

I do think the endgame the show is working towards is going to be positive for Destiel fans and probably at the very least a good final touching moment, although I think the show will pretty much certainly end on Sam and Dean together as the sign off moment, even if the moment before that is Dean smooching Cas in the kitchen before grabbing a couple of beers to go hang with his brother just the 2 of them out on the front porch of their weirdo hunter commune house. Or whatever happens. But you know, even in the Destiel is totally canon and it all ends happily world, it’s not ABOUT them, it’s about Sam and Dean and as much as it’s about everyone else they love too, they’d be there to show there’s a world for them to save/that they have saved and can retire to, if Mary and Cas survive to the end. 

But there are many subtextual ways between that hazy dream ending and, like, total character death save the world through mass sacrifice kinda ending, and all of which can make Destiel look like it was where things were/would have gone. At the current point in canon you can say the exact same thing, which is the point I was making that went right over some heads where they got fixated on me dancing gleefully around Cas’s dead body fulfilling my prophecy or whatever. If the show ended there, with the way Dean and Cas were connected over the season, you could argue their hearts belonged to each other, but they never got a chance to really do anything about it. 

It’s the shitty subtextual Cas is dead ending I’d always dreaded if the show really wanted to fuck with us, but it’s one they could have done, and it would have left things open ended enough for academics and fans and whoever else to yell forever about if it had all meant what we thought it did, to a collection of contradictory comments from cast and crew.

The only way is up from here for Cas’s personal development, seeing as he’s finally doing the truly transformative death experience, and Cas’s personal development is where Destiel subtext is most closely tied, while Dean’s personal development has been a mess of performing Dean and bi Dean and issues with his parents and the codependency, and he’s opening up like a beautiful flower, but it’s still largely a sort of concept that Destiel can just sort of happen when Dean’s got far enough down the line on dealing with all these issues as a kind of lump problem, and Cas’s arc is much more mythological, tied into identity and belonging, but the target has been clear since like… 4x22… (and I mean “clear” rather than “oh shit it’s going to haaaappen” like it is from the start of the season :P) that it’s going to all land on Dean. And clear since like… idk, 6x20? that the feeling is pretty romantic from his end so in an ideal world he lands on Dean romantically. 

And all subsequent positive development on the ship’s possibility has been clearing hurdles and tidying up character development that’s all pretty much check lists made back in season 8 or after the wank when with clearer heads people began to wonder just what was standing in the way of them if they were going to go canon, but not right then. Stuff like Claire and the vessel occupancy issue. Or the slow progress of Cas putting words to his family to call them that and the Bunker home and so on. Steps that all the stretching of the story has let them explore in minute detail.

So I can see that it’s possible that this all develops into something that works incredibly well for the chances of Destiel and since season 10 I’ve had the suspicion, thanks to Claire and the Dean-focused character development episodes, that they were working on the same tick list as us. But I’m not sure if it will pay off exactly as we want to see, while at the same time  being over the moon delighted when another step forward happens. And season 12 moved a lot of ground, some of it unexpectedly quickly, and other things like, unburying them from ruts they’d been stuck in forever. 

I don’t think going on from here season 13 will be immediately disappointing if Cas and Dean aren’t desperately romantically linked all the time because the show still acts like they have their own personal dramas when it’s not letting them see each other as the only people in a room. I don’t think it would be very productive to tally up events as if they’re constructing a narrative where we have to wait for pay off at a very set date, because even though I think that pay off will come at a very set date if we’re lucky and they honour their subtext. The show doesn’t seem to have an end, I honestly don’t trust Dabb as far as I can throw him not to just randomly make Destiel canon because he thinks it’ll be funny and make us happy because I have no grasp on his showrunning except he’s a massive troll with his finger on the fandom pulse. And honestly I don’t get much pleasure from constructing the elaborate forward narratives when I can be much more excited about the immediate stuff, living in the moment, and taking the Destiel subtext as it comes. 

After the mixtape moment there was a lot of spec about if we’d see it again or what it meant building forwards, and I felt it wasn’t going to be mentioned again, and that it was much more valuable for that moment and what it told us about Dean and Cas, than using it for a forwards sign, which to me often just means taking quick stock of a thing happening in present canon then barrelling ahead into the future. While to me the richness in the story is wallowing in what has been opened up about the past, about Dean making the mixtape, when he gave it to Cas, and all the backstory implied by the 5 second moment of that exchange, because it implies so much more going backwards than it ever meant going forwards, as it wasn’t mentioned again all season. We could go forwards knowing Dean and Cas were at the sort of stage of the relationship where mixtapes happen in such a way, but we can’t use it to divine an entire forward plot about it, because that way lies the sort of “make everything Cas ever does about guinea pigs and bees” nonsense because fixating on passing moments as information about character stuff we need to know for later, that there’ll be a bigger pay off later, to me does sort of ruin the fun of the present.

There’s manageable foreshadowing and speculation like guessing what the turducken sign is all about, because its original context was very Destiel, and there’s stuff like guessing about the PB&J where it has so many contexts that even when it connects to Cas I saw that as somewhat connecting him with *Kevin* and lil baby Sam in 9x07 when Cas was eating it in 9x11, and the Destiel connection was the link to humanity, and Dean as being somewhat connected as the PB&J provider to their weirdo family. But he also brought Kevin prune juice as a far more loving gesture, you know? :P Until we have context on these things I hate to get invested in many forward spec things as Destiel related or feeding a larger narrative.

I also think there’s a big difference between meta and spec and I am much more comfortable offering analysis of what has already happened and maybe venturing an idea of how things will play out but not wedding myself to it, especially as that’s how I’ve seen people get fandom burn out, and also I hate looking wrong :P So for my own ego, again, it’s nice to sit and enjoy spec as entertainment but not get so involved I’m writing convoluted theories about it.

Tl;dr, I’m hopefully understandably wary about what canon positivity can do to a fandom, even just from second-hand tales and snooping old blogs back in season 9 when it was all a bit closer to the surface. I have a very comfortable place I’m sitting, which has been rocked about a bit by how on the nose season 12 was, but until I can be sure I really do not want to ever commit to a speculation about anything being set up for canon that we can see in the narrative. I think we’re at an AMAZING place with where we’ve progressed in canon but I’m trying so so hard to keep it contained as if season 12 is where it all ends for now, and I will try and take each episode as it comes when it’s what people might read about what happens next with Destiel, because none of us are qualified to answer it. And the meta community seems to be in a really weird place again with an up surge in positivity that’s making the gold standard of speculation rise, and I’d rather learn from the past and be OVER CAREFUL than get involved in a huge fandom fuck up about all this :P And I hope if I really am supposedly that influential, I can try and be an example of not counting chickens, even when I think I’m holding a very full basket.

[tubbotums]

A Serious Talk

*This talk is very long and ranty. I understand not everyone wants to see that on their feed, and I know you guys don’t come here to see personal biznasty. I’m going to cut this off so you don’t have to read it if you don’t want to, but I please ask you do so if you follow my blog for the most part. I feel it’s important for you guys to see this, and I hope it’ll clear up any questions you might have for me and also give you a little insight on who I am. Thank you for reading in advance if you do so, and I hope you have a great day. <3*

It’s time I sit you all down and have a talk with you guys, my lovely followers, roleplay partners and friends. This is a talk I feel like I’ve needed to have for a while with all of you, just to be honest with you guys about me and what I feel about this blog. I think honesty is the best policy, and getting this out there is something that I feel like needs to be done.

So, as all of you are probably aware at this point, I change muses on this blog as quickly as I change pairs of socks. Some come, some go, some stay for a while and then fade away and end up getting booted. For a while, I really felt like I had a good list of muses to use, and I actually really thought that my current batch was nice. That being said, now that I take a more serious look at them, I realize that there are a few problems with it. A lot of my muse picks are for characters that I really love and want to see fat. characters that can really fit a specific thing I’m trying to do when I feel it a certain day. However, that’s the problem:

My muse list isn’t flexible

There are a couple of muses that get attention by the masses (heh puns), such as Yang or Mia and most recently Momo (seriously y’all love her so much). But that leaves another half that I’m not satisfied with, the “niche” characters if you will. These are the characters that when I’m in a certain mood I’ll be like “hey I wanna play them”, but they aren’t ones that’ll catch anyone’s attention. I’ve come to notice around here that Fate, Touhou, DanganRonpa, and a couple of other series are very popular around here, while others such as Fairy Tail or Skullgirls aren’t, and that’s perfectly fine. I have no problem with that because quite honestly the girls in all those series are on a god level of cute/perfect for these situations. But unfortunately for now, that leaves me stuck. I’ve never watched a Fate series, played a match in Touhou or touched a DanganRonpa game, but I’ve watched 200+ episodes of Fairy Tail and played the mobile game of Skullgirls to basically its entirety at this point. I don’t have a lot of muses that are flexible with things people know and that I know, which really does stink at times. I should know better than this at this point, but quite honestly I don’t because part of me thinks it’s on me for not being a good enough writer and keeping you guys interested in my muses. So, at this point I’m going to make clear who the muses I’m going to be trotting out for now:

Yang Xiao Long

Tohru

Mia Fey

Pharah

Momo Yaoyorozu

Now that leaves Erza, Cerebella and Akira gone. Most of you will probably ask why I would get rid of Akira. After all, he’s from a very popular game a lot of you know, and he’s the only male muse on here that I can’t stop talking about. The issue I’m having with Akira now is that he’s certainly fallen into that niche roll. I won’t always be in the mood to do a thread for him and I’ll leave my RP partners on wait for weeks on end, which isn’t right for them at all. I’m not at a point on my blog where it’s active enough to maintain keeping him here for asks at this point, and quite frankly I’m starting to think having male muses on here was a mistake. It has nothing to do with anyone, but I think it would just be best to focus on female muses from here on out. I love my big boi’s, but with how niche I can be with them I don’t think it’s worth it anymore and it’s time for me to really focus on how flexible I can be with characters I like to write and people know. I’ll be adding another Persona 5 muse in the coming days however, since it is my favorite game of all time. I have it down to about three people I’m considering adding, so if you guys want to hear more or don’t care, I’m fine with giving you whatever information you guys wanna hear.

Moving on to the next thing I wanna talk about, I want to talk about my writing and my feelings for the future of this blog. As of now, I’m a college student who wants to write his own TV shows in the future. I want to make worlds, tell stories and inspire others to do the same. That being said, I am probably my biggest enemy when it comes to this. I’m scared of myself, my shortcomings, of others, and the world itself. I have goals that I’m too scared to pursue because I worry about what others think of me. I do the same thing on here, mainly because there are so many of you I want to RP with but am too scared to even approach. I feel like my writing is insignificant and bad, and when I start threads with someone and they die, I’ll always blame myself for the cause. I want to be the best RP partner possible for all of you guys and entertain you guys, but being the person I am, I don’t feel like I can be that at all...

For a while, I was considering shutting this blog down and moving on from here. I didn’t think it was worth feeling shitty about myself all the time, but I started realizing that this place was probably my biggest safe haven. There are a ton of other places I’m involved in that don’t feel nearly as welcoming as this community. Other places, I feel like my words hold no value and that I’m just someone who doesn’t contribute anything positive. I just make people angry because I say a stupid thing, and then I feel terrible about it and want to apologize correctly, but I can’t even do THAT right and I make things worse because of the stupid person I am. The more I take a look around me, the more I start seeing people that don’t really care about me at times. They say they do, but they’re just as quick to move on from me when I want their help.

I’m not afraid to admit that I’m needy and love attention. I need people around me to talk to and keep me positive because I hate being alone. I like talking with all of you guys because you all make me feel special and wanted. I have made so many good friends on here that I talk to almost everyday, whether it be on here or through discord. They’ve helped me through some tough times, supported my ideas and encouraged me to go beyond what I feel comfortable doing. For the past three or more months, this place has been my safety net, my pride and joy because of how afraid I was to do other things at times. This blog actually got me watching new shows and playing new games I might’ve never tried before, and it still is. I don’t know where I’d be in all honesty had it not been for some of the amazing friends I’ve made on here.

So how does this tie in with my writing? How does this affect me and most importantly, you the fan of this blog or potential partner/friend. I’ve decided that I’m going to keep this blog going, and I’m going to write for me now. I’m going add muses that I’ll think are fun to play and flexible enough to use in certain situations as well as ones you all can interact with. I’m going to write whatever the hell I feel like on here and not feel like I’m being judged for it. I want to write because it’s fun, and I don’t want to feel pressured to be perfect. I’m nowhere near a perfect writer at this point in time, but trial and error will help me develop these skills that are essential to mold me into what I want to be. My writing from here on out is going to be something I can take great joy in and feel proud to show it off to everyone. I’m not going to pressure myself with feeling like I have to write this for everyone.

I’m going to write this because I want to write this, and I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks.

Granted, it’s not going to be easy to break out of old habits that have kept me down for years on end at this point, but I’m going to try my best. So please, bear with me and I promise that I’ll be better than ever for myself and for you guys. You guys deserve so much credit and praise for sticking by me for soon to be a year in February. Almost eight months going strong on here has been a treat, and I hope that it’ll continue being that.

As for a couple other small things, I haven’t forgotten about the Lucy X Erza feeding session fic I promised you guys. Time and motivation have probably been my biggest downfalls when writing this fic, but I promise that soon I’ll have it done and it’s going to be amazing. Just give it time and I’ll reward your patience. I’ll also give updates on muses as time goes by, maybe even hint at some if I feel like it warrants it. But as for now, the only muse I know for a fact that I want to play on here is Android 21. UNFORTUNATELY FOR MUN, Dragon Ball FighterZ doesn’t come out until February, and because we don’t have enough information on her personality, I don’t feel comfortable playing her. Sure, I could make some stereotypical observations based on her clothes and fanart, but I feel like that would be really... weak? ( I can’t think of the right word) on my part. I want to give you as close of a canon representation as possible, so waiting for the game is really the only option. Aside from that, I’m going to be delving into some of these more popular series that I see floating around here to familiarize myself with the content, maybe even pick a muse from some of them if someone catches my fancy.

With that, I think that about does my little rant. I really just want to thank all of you for sticking by me and supporting you, especially my close friends on here. There are way too many of you to list, but you guys certainly know who you are. This probably won’t be the last time I switch up my muses again, but I’m hoping I have a long interval in between the next time I do so. Thank you all for being awesome, and I promise I’m going to be better for me, which in turn will be better for you. <3

-Your very sappy mun

[kyuiuiuiu]

The Second Sun

I'm so sad, because I was drawing the fanart and my computer just stopped working. The screen is black and doesn't works... Fortunately, the progress was saved ;; but I'm not sure that I can upload fanarts according to the day during the week. Maybe I'll be late for it ;; Well, at least I have the fanfic for you! So here's the chapter 5 uwu

Chapter list:

Chapter 1 - The Distrust.

Chapter 2 - The Reflection.

Chapter 3 - The Fear.

Chapter 4 - The Lie.

Chapter 5 - The sun?

Days passed, turning into weeks, and Yoosung didn’t understand when everything had become so different. Each visit was colder than the previous one, and Saeran no longer responded as before. It was as if they had gone back to the beginning, where he only stared out the window and ignored his presence, even knowing he was there. Yoosung began to wonder what he could have done wrong to make it all turn that way, but he couldn’t find an answer. Only managed to associate it to that day when he began to talk about Rika and V, when Saeran asked about his career. Had that made him angry? Perhaps Seven was right that it was a tricky subject for him? If that was the case, then he understood that Saeran would get upset, though he didn’t think the change would be so abrupt.

What was happening hurt him a lot, especially since Saeran had become someone very important and special to him. He didn’t have many friends off screen, and for him, Saeran was that and much more. He was grateful that someone with his past had trusted an ordinary person like him. It was different from the friendship he had with Saeyoung. Saeran... made him feel more than that. By his side he felt that he could talk about anything and he would listen, even if he didn’t care about the subject. He noticed it, since he seemed to be an observant and attentive person from the beginning, despite his indifference.

Day after day of visits, he tried to keep the thread of the conversation going, but Saeran’s indifference made him want to see him carefully, waiting for him to turn to look him in the eye, as before... but this didn’t happen.

One day while Yoosung was trying to find a topic of conversation as he struggled with Saeran's rejection, Yoosung began to despair.

What could he do?

“You know... Maybe this doesn’t matter to you, but I don’t have many friends —He began to say—. When I went to school it was different, there I was quite popular, but after entering the university everything changed... I wanted to change my image, and I even found a hobby that is LOLOL... I... I haven’t said this to anyone else, but the truth is that I feel so envious of people like you. Jumin, Zen, Jaehee, Seven, Rika, even V... and you too —His voice cracked a little, causing Saeran to turn to him slyly after weeks of pretending to ignore him. Then he noticed that Yoosung was doing his best to hold back a pout, it seemed that he was about to cry—. I am just an ordinary person, without grace. I don’t have great talents beyond playing all day. If it wasn’t for the university, I would be a total slacker... It hurts a lot to think that you are good for nothing, that you will never reach those you admire no matter how hard you try. And it hurts even more when the one you want to reach insists on steadily getting away from you. I... Ah, I don’t know what I do saying all this, I must be making a fool of myself” He finished saying, covering his face with both hands.

He really felt he was making a fool of himself, but just when he was going to resign himself and run, a presence alerted him.

He removed his hands from his face, and could see that Saeran was only inches away. He gasped, because he didn’t even notice when he got out of bed and crouched in front of him.

What a bad day to sit on the floor and not the usual chair, huh?

His cheeks burned, his heart felt like it was coming out of his chest. Saeran's eyes were fixed on his again, after weeks of rejection.

What was happening?

“Ah...” he tried to articulate.

“You are not an ordinary person.”

“What are you saying...?” he murmured, looking away to the floor.

“In my opinion you are not an ordinary person. A normal person wouldn’t have insisted so much on me.”

“Is that... a compliment?” He asked himself.

Saeran sighed and returned to his place on the bed by the window, watching the sky. He knew that if he stayed much longer near Yoosung something could happen, although he couldn’t define exactly what.

What Yoosung made him feel was an indescribable for him, and after weeks of rejection he couldn’t stand it anymore. Again he hated his weakness and lack of courage, but he knew that sooner or later his punishment for being so pathetic would come, and that comforted him in a very particular way, although he didn’t stop worrying.

Yoosung, for his part, still had his face reddened by what had just happened. He tried to think of something else, but the image of the other boy's eyes so close to him was lingering in his mind. His heart was racing faster and faster, so he thought it would be a good idea to try to talk about something else to forget it or at least to distract himself.

“This… —He began to stutter— Why do you always look at the sky?”

The moment Saeran heard that question, his expression changed to one of nostalgia and some sadness, causing the blond to regret immediately for having let that doubt out of his mind. He thought it was very foolish of him to ask Saeran something like that, since he knew it was something he did insistently. It probably had to do with his painful past and he didn’t know... But to his surprise, Saeran left any negative thoughts aside and replied.

“When I see the sky, I feel free —He starts to explain—. There is no pain. Clouds always change its shapes, so it's also interesting to guess what they look like.”

Yoosung felt relief in his chest after Saeran answered his question, and inadvertently —And in the midst of emotion— he screwed it again.

“Oh, I see... Hehe, Rika used to watch the sun a lot after V died. It must be something similar...”

After realizing that he had begun to talk again about his cousin, he covered his mouth, but Saeran was sympathetic and followed the flow.

Deep down, he missed talking to him. Even if it was about her.

“Maybe… Why did she see the sun?”

Yoosung was puzzled by the sudden question, even more so with a question about his cousin. But since it was something that would not happen any often, he tried to remember everything Rika had told him about it.

“Well, Rika said... She said that V was like the sun.”

Saeran looked at him in confusion.

“V?”

“Yes —he nodded— that’s what she said. I remember that many times while we were talking, she mentioned that V was like the sun. She used to tell me that with him she felt safe, because she knew that in his company she could show her true self without fear. That he would accept her as she was... To her, V was the light of her life, radiant as the sun, bathing her with his warm soul and leading her way. I don’t understand very well what Rika was trying to tell me, but I always interpreted it as that he was a very good person with her... Well, Rika also said that I wouldn’t understand it until I tried it, hehe..."

When Yoosung finished explaining, Saeran was thoughtful about it.

The sun... radiant, warm, a light that guided your path. That made you feel sure to be who you really are, as it would always come to illuminate your life.

Saeran glanced up at the sky once more, then hid his head between his knees, which he held lightly.

Yoosung started to worry when he saw him act like that all of a sudden.

“Hey, do you feel bad? Do you want me to bring you something?”

Saeran turned his head so that only one of his eyes could see Yoosung.

“No, I'm fine. Just ... let's talk about something else.”

“Let’s talk…” Thought Yoosung with some excitement. Okay, they had been talking for a while, but it made him happy to think that everything would be back to normal.

“Okay” He murmured with a smile as he tried to think of some subject that might be of interest for him.

The afternoon passed just like it used to do be a few weeks ago when everything was fine. Sunset was already approaching, so Yoosung decided it was best to leave. He said goodbye as usual and retired in silence with a smile in his face.

After talking about the sun with Yoosung, Saeran couldn’t stop thinking about the subject. He felt suffocated by being in his room, so he got ready and left without his brother seeing him, because it was obvious that he would stop him. According to him, he was not yet able to go to the outside world.

Saeran could live with that, since he never felt the need to leave... but this time was different.

It was starting to get dark and Saeran was just wandering aimlessly down the street. He managed to reach a nearby park, where he looked for the most distant tree and sat by the foot of it. To his luck, it was surrounded by other trees, so it was a perfect hideaway.

The wind began to blow quite strongly, and Saeran supposed that it was due to recent climate changes. However, he didn’t give it more importance and continued there, leaning on the trunk with his eyes closed.

As Saeran tried to calm his mind, Saeyoung became aware of his absence and began to despair. The first thing he thought of was to call the only person with whom he had contact. He knew Yoosung would never take him without warning, but he wanted to make sure he was okay. Although, to his bad luck, the instant of answering the call and hearing the question, Yoosung replied immediately that his brother was not with him. Both began to worry, and then Yoosung offered his help to the older twin, which he accepted delightedly.

What worried Saeyoung the most was the latest weather report, where they had announced heavy rain during the evening.

Next Chapter »