#i am two days late i am aware i completely forgot i had this in my drafts

[pandalorian36]

Spencer reid x (gn)reader

A late night working ends with the both of you falling asleep on the couch where the rest of the team find you the following morning.

Word count: 885 Warnings: none

I stifle another yawn stretching out in the chair "Do we have any more coffee?" Spencer jerks upright a sheet of paper stuck to his cheek "What?" I chuckle leaning over and removing it "Maybe we should take a break?" he nods and stands stretching pushing hair out of his face "How is it one already?" I shrug and spin around in my chair before standing "Everyone else went home at ten? I thought it had only been an hour."

He grins "Although time does appear to pass faster when you are working." I hold up a hand "Hold up brains. It is far too late...early for that. As much as I love you and your info dumps now is not the time." he chuckles "Sorry."

We make our way to the small kitchen finding clean cups and coffee. A weight drapes over my shoulders as arms snake around my waist "What happened to being professional in the workplace?" he mumbles something into my neck that sounds like "Alone."

I turn around wrapping my arms around him sighing happily "We could go home." he sighs "I want to get this done." I nod "I know so do I." he smiles pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead then my lips, I melt into his touch cupping his cheek gently "We should get back to work." he sighs kissing my cheek "Okay." grabbing the two cups of coffee in one hand and my hand in the other we make our way back to the office sitting on the sofa and dragging some of the files closer.

We spend another hour working getting almost everything complete when I decide I want to be more comfortable so bring my feet up onto the sofa leaning my head on Spencer’s shoulder. I manage another page before I can no longer fight the heaviness of my eyes. I am vaguely aware of the files falling to the ground Spencer’s head leaning against mine.

3rd person narrator

Penelope, Emily, and Derek are the first to arrive the next morning. Penelope looks over at the conference room confused "Did you guys leave the light on?"

"Y/N and Reid where going to stay late. They probably just forgot." Hotch and Rossi walk over sighing "Conference room. We've got work to do." They all make their way over Derek and Emily freezing in the doorway grinning broadly. "Oh my god."

Y/N has their head in Spencer’s lap while Spencer has an arm draped over their waist head sliding down the sofa slightly the both of them fast asleep a pile of files on the floor where they have slipped out of their hands. Garcia is quick to snap a photo while laughing "That is adorable."

Hotch clears his throat loudly startling the two sleeping agents "Good morning." Y/N scrambles to their feet "We fell asleep." Rossi chuckles "We can see that."

Reid stands up brushing fingers through his hair while Morgan laughs ruffling it up more "Bit of a bird’s nest there pretty boy." Reid swats his hand away the others taking seats around the table. Hotch has the barest smile visible on his face "So you where productive last night?"

You grin grabbing the files of the floor "Actually yes. Where's it gone?" Spencer sorts through the remaining files on the table finding the one you are looking for "Here."

"Thank you." Garcia starts giggling though quickly stops at the questioning looks from her superiors "Sorry sir." Spencer and you talk through your work while Garcia continues to grin at her computer. Rossi smiles "I suppose we shouldn't be shocked the two of you completed three days of work in a single evening."

Once we have finished going over the files Hotch takes over summarising and organising, but it doesn't take too long. Morgan grins at something Garcia shows him "You two sure looked cozy on the sofa." Spencer blushes scratching the back of his head "I think I need some coffee."

"Pump your breaks pretty boy. I think you and Y/N have something to share with the group." I feel my eyes widen as I recall going to get coffee, we forgot about the cameras. Emily and JJ grin moving around the table to view Penelope’s laptop while Spencer buries his face in his hands in attempt to hide the blush while you remain frozen in place "I knew it." Emily groans "Damn." Morgan holds out his hand "Cough up."

Rossi and Hotch both look equally confused while Spencer is now resembling a tomato. I sigh "Well the cats already out the bag. Yes, we are dating. He asked me first. It’s been nine months."

"Nine months!" Garcia whoops "I win." Hotch shakes his head slightly at the group’s antics "Just keep things professional in the workplace." If possible, Spencer turns a deeper shade of red sputtering slightly while Morgan grins broadly "I think this the first time we've seen you at a loss for words."

I stand making my way to Spencer’s side he takes my hand in his squeezing it gently. While Emily sighs "It is so obvious how did we miss it." The others start pestering us with questions, but I am glad they know. We are a family, a strange family definitely but a family none the less.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for missing rehearsals for a concert?

I (17X) play the cello and am participating in my local conservatorium’s string ensembles concert in three days. I have been aware of the concert since the start of term (aka four weeks ago). For the first three weeks of this term, I have been completing my final high school exams (I can’t be more specific because it differs wordwide, but they’re the exams that acknowledge that you’ve fully completed your secondary education y’know) so that was obviously very intense and I had a lot on my plate. At the start of term, my cello teacher S (late 20s?F) told me that I’d be playing a solo in the big finale piece that everyone from every ensemble plays in, as I’m one of the more advanced students. I was given the music for this at the start of term, and we have been practicing it in our weekly lessons so that I am prepared. There will be a rehearsal for this piece a few hours before the concert begins. I was also aware that I was performing in my school strings ensemble (which is a piece I have played before with the ensemble and am familiar with), and S also organised that the four Year 12 students (including me) would play a piece together. She organised to have three rehearsals for this on the three days before the concert (aka today, tomorrow and the next). As by this time I knew I would have finished all my exams, I told her that I should be free to be at these rehearsals.

Since finishing high school a week ago, I have gotten a job at a local café, as I haven’t had a job in high school like most people due to not having time with my music commitments. Unfortunately, I was rostered to have work on the days of the first Year 12 piece rehearsal (aka today), the third Year 12 piece rehearsal, and the day of the concert itself (so I would miss the finale piece rehearsal beforehand and would just make it on time for the concert). I considered trying to swap these shifts so that I could go, but A) given that I am brand new (today was my third ever shift) I didn’t think it would be a good idea to try and get out of it so early on in my employment, and B) I didn’t actually have any way to contact a manager and ask for shifts off until today because they hadn’t properly sorted out my paperwork and information yet. I tried to look for solutions for this, but yesterday I decided that I just wouldn’t be able to make it, so I message S to inform her and apologise. She obviously wasn’t happy about this (she started her reply with “yikes”), and checked to see whether I was still happy to play in the school string piece (which I confirmed) and asked whether I was able to play in the concert with another ensemble that I used to play in (I said yes, and she said she’d get the music to me). I left it at this, with the intention to practice my pieces a lot over the next few days.

Today, both me and my mum received an email from S. She was quite angry about the fact that I wasn’t able to attend two out of the three Year 12 piece rehearsals, calling it bad etiquette and saying that it “reflects poorly in the professional world”. (I agree that it wasn’t great for me to have to pull out of those rehearsals when I had previously said that I should be available, but as I said above, I wasn’t really in a position where I could change this). She also said that I was supposed to be at school strings rehearsals yesterday, and at rehearsals for the ensemble I’m no longer in and was only just asked to play in. In this ensemble’s rehearsal, they also ran through the finale piece that I am playing a solo in (which I wasn’t aware they would be doing). S claimed that I had been told that I was supposed to be at these rehearsals this week — I have absolutely zero recollection of this, to the point where I doubt I was asked, but if I was, it was before or during my exams, in which case it doesn’t surprise me that I forgot, as I was highly stressed and just trying to focus on getting through school. I was never given another reminder to be there, so I had no idea I was supposed to be at the rehearsals yesterday. Because of how annoyed she was, I was forced to speak to someone about leaving my shift on the concert day early so that I can attend the rehearsal beforehand, but I’m still not able to attend the Year 12 piece rehearsal in two days time.

I feel really bad about the whole thing, because I genuinely am quite close with S and I know she’s put in a lot of effort to this concert. However, I feel like she’s being unfair in her annoyance. I was unaware I had to be at any rehearsals yesterday because this wasn’t clearly communicated to me (and even if to others it was implied that I should be there, I’m not the kind of person that will pick up on this — I need to be explicitly told). If I had known I was expected to be there, I absolutely would have been there. And obviously not being able to go to the rehearsals because I’m working is frustrating, but I really don’t feel like I had much choice in the matter. If I had been working there for a while, I absolutely would have asked for the days off, but I feel like it’s unfair to expect me to try and cancel those shifts when I’ve only just started the job. I’m glad I’ve managed to arrange to be at the concert day rehearsal, so that I can practice the solo with the rest of the ensemble, but even if I hadn’t been able to, I’ve been practicing the piece and I’ve done performances where I haven’t had a proper rehearsal before, so I think it would have been fine.

Hopefully this made sense, I tried to provide as much detail as possible but I’m very tired and am struggling to be coherent, and it’s also hard to explain the situation through text. So, tl;dr, AITA for:

Not being at rehearsals yesterday that I was unaware I was supposed to be at?

Having to cancel rehearsals because I was rostered during those times?

What are these acronyms?

[darkfairiefey]

Comforting Werewolf!Tomas when he transforms

pairing: tomas vrbada x gender neutral!reader

content warning: blood, gore, body horror, out of character content, mentions of dehumanization, slight nsfw (non sexual nudity), tomas almost gets killed by his own brothers, angst w happy ending, bi-han finally apologizes for once

author notes: decided to make a part 2 to prove that hope is not lost, you can find part one here >>>

You and Tomas were silently driving home late at night. You were in the driver’s seat, focusing on the road’s pathway. Tomas was sitting in the passenger seat quietly yet wakefully. Even days or weeks could not soothe his paranoia over the full moon. He was very much aware that his new lifestyle changed the way others saw him. From getting weird stares from strangers to scaring away his own brothers, he could not live without some voice in his ear telling him that he’s some kind of monster people should stay away from. He felt that the only one he had left in the world was you, as you were the only one who stayed by his side, no matter the circumstances. It was an hour before the full moon, and Tomas couldn’t help but gaze out the car window unconsciously through his glowing, supernatural yellow eyes, as if he were drawn to it by force. You pull into the supposed driveway near your wood-built house and undo your seatbelt, when you notice your boyfriend staring out the window, completely still. “Tomas?” You spoke, hoping to grab his attention. You notice a glow in his eyes as he fixes his attention on the moon. “Tomas!” You called to him, snapping him out of his trance. “W-what?! What’s happened-“ He snaps out of it, only to look at himself through the window to see his eyes suddenly flash back to their mundane blue. “Oh god no…” He shivered, in realization that he almost forgot that the full moon was tonight. He took his seatbelt off, got out of the car, and sprinted off into the forest. In fear he may get lost or hurt himself, you dash after him into the wilderness…

It took about an hour of searching through the forest to finally find him, and you spot him on the ground without any clothes on. “Tomas! What are you doing out here all alone?!” You questioned him. “Stay away from me!” He bawled, terrified of what’s about to become of him. “I can’t just leave you here! What if I lost you and you never came back?!” You responded. “You’re not safe with me! You don’t know what I’m capable of!” He yelped, afraid of hurting his beloved. And so his transformation began. He cried out in pain as back snaps into a quadrupedal position. “Tomas please! You have to believe me!” You told him. “Run!” He begged. “I’m not going to leave you! I’m on your side! Remember?” You call out to him. Tomas remembers those words quite fondly. He tries to settle down, just for your sake, but the pain is too much to bear. As his legs turn hind and his face morphs into the shape of a canine, he turns his ferocious eyes toward you, waiting to strike, but within a few moments, he already recognizes your familiar scent and settles down right beside you. “Easy, Tomas.” You assured him, “I am positive that you could never hurt me.” He rests his head on your lap, feeling safe and content now that you’re never going to leave him. Everything was safe and sound, until you heard voices in the distance…

“We can’t just leave him behind like that!” “Or what? Do you want that thing to pursue us again? Or do you want it out of your life?” The two voices echoed through the forest, catching your attention. Tomas stood up on his hind legs, ready to defend you from harm’s way. “What’s in there, Tomas? Should I be worried?” You ask him. He growls at the sound of footsteps and the harsh sound of an argument between the two voices. A threat, he thought to himself. His growling caught the attention of the voices in the forest, prompting them to draw closer. “I hear it! Now’s our chance to rid our clan of this-“ “Brother! You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into! If it heard us, we may not have a chance to prepare ourselves!” “Are you trying to say we are weak?!” “No brother.” “I hope so.” The voices continued to argue. It was only a matter of time after he sniffed the air was when you both realized, it was Tomas’s brothers, and they were out for his blood. Tomas whined in fear and shock, as this was the last thing that he wanted his brothers to do—kill him. “Hide behind me, Tomas.” You instructed him, in order for him to not be seen. Tomas hides behind you, cowering…

“I think this was a bad idea. I feel we might be lost-“ “We can’t be lost! The Lin Kuei never get lost!” “Brother, this is unreasonable! What are you dragging me into?!” “Keep your incompetence to yourself!” “Brother-“ “If you don’t keep your mouth shut, we’ll-“ His brothers notice your presence out in the cold, open air, causing you to gasp, but you covered your voice with your mouth. “Y/N?!” Kuai Liang called to you, “What are doing out here late at night?!” You refused to answer, in fear of revealing Tomas’s location. You could feel Tomas cowering behind you as his brothers drew closer to you. “Don’t keep us waiting. Step aside and reveal what’s behind you if you wish to be unharmed.” Bi-Han threatened you both. “You want him? Come and get him-“ “I SAID MOVE.” He interrupted you. You had no other choice but to reveal your boyfriend’s position to them, so you slowly came to your feet and stepped behind Tomas. He was cowering even more when his presence was revealed to his brothers, as if he knew exactly what the outcome would be…

Kuai’s eyes suddenly widened in shock, “Wait… Tomas?!” He realized, as the wolf’s behaviour seemed suspiciously similar to Tomas at a younger age, “Is that really you?!” Realizing his error, he reaches out to Tomas, but he was still attempting to hide himself. “That thing is no man.” Bi-Han condemned, forming a sword of ice with his hands. “BI-HAN, DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE!” You screamed, jumping in front of him as Tomas braced for impact. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t.” He questioned you, eager for an explanation. “HE IS YOUR BROTHER! YOU WOULDN’T DARE KILL YOUR OWN BROTHERS!” Tomas slowly walked right up to them, garnering the courage to reveal his true self to his older brothers. He whimpered with a puppy-eyed expression on his face, hoping to get through to them, and it works, as Bi-Han drops his sword to the ground. “Tomas?” His gaze softened into a puzzled, yet concerned look. “No… this can’t be true… is this truly him?” Tomas slowly relaxed his body language, feeling safe now that his brothers recognized him. “Tomas, I am so sorry!” Kuai cried out, “I should’ve been there for you when you were upset…” He lamented as he wept away his tears in remorse. “Please forgive me, Tomas…” Tomas calmly walked over to Kuai, resting his head on his legs as a way of saying “thank you”. He began to feel real tired after a few minutes, as if his body was weakening. His legs were aching and his vision was blurry. He closed his eyes to stop the blurring of his eye sockets, but it only made him feel more tired. And soon enough, he fell unconscious. “Come now. We must take him home.” Kuai concluded, picking up Tomas with his arms. He carried him back to the headquarters while you and Bi-Han followed. Perhaps they really cared about him after all…

When you all got home, Bi-Han placed him on the couch for him to heal. “Leave him here to let him reconnect himself with his humanity; do not engage with him, or you will risk getting hurt.” You informed with caution. Tomas’s brothers walked out of the living room and got ready for bed, while you sat beside him, ensuring he was safe beside you. You slept on the floor that night, in case Tomas felt lonely or uncomfortable. Hours pass and morning comes, and you are snapped awake by the sound of whining. “Tomas?” You called, as you spotted him twitching in place. Bi-Han came into the living room, already fully dressed for a mission. “What is he doing?” He asked, puzzled. “He must be adapting to the sunlight, as wolves are nocturnal creatures. It’ll take a moment for his mind and body to adjust.” You observed. Tomas continued to twitch on the couch until he was spasming involuntarily. Kuai rushed into the room the second he heard the sound of Tomas whimpering. “Tomas? Are you in there?” He sympathized, hoping to understand why his brother is acting up. Suddenly, Tomas’s neck cracks, causing him to growl and squirm in pain. “Tomas, it’s just me.” Kuai consoled his brother. The pain didn’t stop just there, however, as his hind legs were starting to morph back into regular feet and his snout was pushing inwards to form a human face. “Tomas?!” Bi-Han exclaimed, shocked at the reveal of his brother’s curse. Tomas’s fangs retracted as he fully reverted back to his old self. “Tomas…” Bi-Han reflected, feeling as if he had just made a huge mistake…

You reach out to Tomas to shake him into consciousness, and his eyes snap wide open, and he starts panting in a sudden panic, as if he had awoken from a nightmare. “Kuai…” “Everything is fine, Tomas.” Kuai comforted his younger brother, trying to ground him into the present moment. “Kuai, do you hate me?” Tomas brooded, scared that he may have frightened his brothers the other night. “I absolutely do not hate you, Tomas, I promise.” His brother clarified, relieved that his brother was okay. “Tomas, can you listen to me?” Bi-Han murmured, hoping to apologize to Tomas. "I... I apologize for my earlier judgments, Tomas.” He began. “My judgments of you earlier were clearly untrue.” He continued, in a clearer tone now. “But I’m a-“ “A freak? There’s no way!” Kuai uttered. “You are NOT a freak, Tomas. You’re just different. Different from other people. They don’t have to understand.” You console him, embracing him in a hug. “Tomas? Do I get a hug too?” Kuai added, hoping his brother would still trust him. “Yes…” Tomas acknowledged, squeezing him tightly in his arms, with Kuai reciprocating the feeling. Bi-Han slowly walked over to you and his brothers, and gave Tomas a light pat on the back, making Tomas tear up with relief. Kuai affirmed, “There’s nothing you can do to make us throw you away like that, Tomas…”

[wildemaven]

Sweet Creature: Chapter Three

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x F!Reader

WC: 3605

Summary: A washed up movie star with a failing career, fresh out of rehab and looking to turn his life around. He moves back to his small hometown to take a break from stardom and help his sister out with his niece- He's traded the high-life for school runs and crafting. What he doesn't except is to meet you, his niece's school teacher who couldn't care less about his extensive filmography or his dwindling fame.

Warnings: 18+ blog; swearing, mentioning of drugs, abandonment, arguing, food and alcohol, angst, feelings, mention of recovery/rehabilitating, absent parents, nail picking, Diem having to be a mother hen, one line from ‘The Bubble’— I think that’s it, as usual please let me know if I’ve forgotten anything.

A/N: This chapter totally became something I didn’t intend on, but in a good way. There’s a lot of feelings from everyone being thrown around and some hurt, but I think it was needed to be able to move forward— especially from that initial awareness in the kitchen. I’m excited to now get everyone in a somewhat good place with each other, so they can quit being knuckleheads. Thanks so much for all the love on the first two chapters, I am so excited to share more! Big thanks again to @gnpwdrnwhiskey for taking the time to beta for me— she’s been my wingwoman through this and I so appreciate her time and thoughts with each chapter!

Series Masterlist / Sweet Creature Playlist / Main Masterlist

Previous / Next

“Diem’s not home.”

“Oh fuck—”

This is literally one of those worst case scenario situations, and you’re not sure if you’ll ever come back from it. 

You feel sick, the pit in your stomach heavy with regret. A destructive aftershock hits your chest, rolling tremors of guilt crashing through every inch of you. 

“Dieter, I— I’m s-so sorry.” Your voice cracks as you force yourself to break the agonizing silence. 

“Sorry you said it or sorry you got caught?”

You’re not even sure which one is a better option, either way it doesn’t resolve the hurt you’ve caused him. 

His eyes lack that sparkle you saw earlier in the day, dimple no longer visible—his expression now reserved and opaque. 

“I-I didn’t mean for you to hear any of that— I.”

“Oh, so you meant it then?”

“No, I-“

“Like when we first met, a year ago. What was it you said? Ah, I think it was something to the effect of ‘a fucking deadbeat, washed up douchebag’. The memory is a bit hazy, but those words stuck with me this whole time, just didn’t have a face to put with them until now.”

“Dieter, I’m so—“ 

“Yeah, sorry. You mentioned that.”

Tears well up in your eyes, stinging as they threaten to burn trails of remorse down your face. You blink them away, keeping them at bay for the now. Right now is not their time, it’s not your moment to center yourself in misery— this catastrophe of a situation is at the fault of your own actions. 

The click of the front door grabs your attention— Diem’s home. 

Both you and Dieter are still standing in the kitchen, eyes locked onto each other, neither making the first move as you wait for Diem’s arrival into this botched run in. 

“Hey! Sorry I’m late, Wren’s appointment ran later than expected.” Diem’s arms full with take out boxes, completely oblivious to the gloom looming around in her kitchen. “Oh shit! I forgot we were getting together tonight.”

“Mama said a bad word!” Wren already settling herself on a barstool at the counter. 

“Sorry, baby. I should have text you! Wren had a doctors appointment and her booster was in Dieter’s car from this morning— it was a hot fuc— hot mess! But I’m glad you are getting to know each other without me!”

So much is happening around you, your body frozen as you watch Diem arrange the white foam containers about on the kitchen island, a small hand grabbing at the mound of salty rosemary seasoned fries. Dieter settling back against the nearest counter watching as his sister moves about with ease, something he hasn’t been witness to in a while. 

“I grabbed tacos from The Nest downtown. Since I screwed up our night, stay and eat with us.” She says to you as she’s putting plates and silverware out. 

“It’s okay, I can go. I don’t want to intrude on your time together.” Your throat dry, pulse racing, you need to leave immediately. 

“Oh stop! You’re not intruding on us, I insist— the more the merrier, right Dieter.”

His name slices through you like a jagged knife, each syllable a tiny knick, the slow drag of its blade adding to your own downfall. 

“As long as she’s comfortable with it, the more the merrier.” His gaze bores intensely at you, his voice laced with bitterness. 

“Yeah— okay.” Your own words betraying you. 

“Perfect! I was hoping for all of us to have dinner together at some point anyways— no better time than now I guess. Everyone grab a plate and we can sit at the table. Wren, go wash your hands baby.”

“‘Kay, mama!”

*

“I also played on the swings— I showed my friends that trick Uncle Dude taught me!”

“What trick?!” Diem, unaware of any ‘swing tricks’, glances at Dieter with furrowed brows in a panic at the thought of Wren sharing something dangerous with her friends— he seems to be equally confused, shrugging as he waits for Wren to explain further. 

“I swing as higher and higher as I can, then jump so I can fly!” Her little arms stretched out in a flying motion and she continues to munch  away at her fries.

“Oh! Well, let’s save that for when we’re together and not at school where we can get hurt if we fly too high.”

“Okay mama!” 

You’ve barely touched the tacos in front of you, let alone heard much of the conversations being shared around the table. Your brain is so busy running through a list of excuses to leave, you don’t hear your name being called. 

“Hmm?” Refocusing back to the present moment. 

“I asked how things have been at school? We didn’t get our usual catch-up chat at drop off this morning since Dieter took Wren.” 

“Oh— good! Things are g-good!” You force a fake and hopefully believable smile, keeping your response minimal and to the point. 

“Have you made any progress on your upcoming art exhibition at the gallery?” 

“Umm, yeah— I mean kind of. Still trying to nail down a theme right now. Then paint everything before it’s time to prep for the install. Just haven’t found any inspiration just yet, typical artist procrastination.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll figure something out and get it all done in time.” Diem ever the optimist. “And, if you need any ideas, Dieter is well knowledgeable in the field, I already told you he’s an artist. I’m sure he can help you with any questions you might have. Right, Dieter?”

“Yeah— sure.” His response is flat, not even making an attempt to look up from his plate. 

“Thanks.” I think. 

“You okay? You’ve barely eaten.” Diem’s motherly concern not reserved to only Wren tonight. 

“Yeah— sorry, I’m good. Just been a long day, some— umm, things kind of came out of nowhere. A lot on my mind, that’s all.” 

“Hmmph.” Dieter lets out a brief huff of annoyance at your response as he settles back into his chair, pursed lips and arms crossed on his chest— he wants this to be over just as much as you do. 

“What was that Dieter?” 

“Mama, I’m full.” Wren’s sweet little voice breaks through the awkward tension that made itself comfortable at the table for the evening. 

“Wren, you barely ate your tacos— how can you be full?” 

“I’m full of French fries mama! May I be excused?” 

“Sure. Go wash up and brush your teeth. Then you can play for a bit before bath time.” 

Wren doesn’t even wait for the end of Diem’s directions before she’s launching her body out of her chair and heading for the bathroom. Maybe you could borrow a page from her book, you’d rather be full of fries instead of the uneasiness that has settled in your gut. 

Diem lets out a heavy sigh, face resting in her hands as her elbows support her on the table. “I swear, sometimes I feel like she’s testing me.”

“She’s a kid, it’s her job to keep you on your toes and not eat anything you want her to.” Dieter reaches over and gives Diem’s arm a light squeeze. 

“Yeah, he’s right.” Sneaking a glance towards Dieter as you agree with him, there’s a quick flick of his eyes over to you then back to Diem. “It’s developmentally on track for her to be picky or hate something she once enjoyed. It’s nothing you’re doing wrong at all. And if it makes you feel better, she ate all her lunch today— said she loves when you make those special circle cut sandwiches.” 

You catch the momentary smile on her face, hoping your words were enough to give her some relief. While you don’t know the weight that comes with being a parent, it’s  your job to know the ins and outs of kid’s behaviors and how they react to a multitude of situations. 

“Thank you. I’m so grateful— for both of you. This summer is going to be busy, but knowing I have the two of you in my life it seems less stressful. Speaking of which, I’m doing a re-grand opening for the Capri soon, it’s really a glorified pool party— music, drinks, hot guys, and a sweet little girl who might need some looking after while I make sure it all goes smoothly.” 

“Of course! I wouldn’t miss it.” You agree immediately, you love helping Diem whenever she needs it. 

“Yeah. I already told you, any way I can help with Birdie, I’m there.”

Even with the prospect of being around Dieter regularly, you would rather see your friend happy and endure the already strained relationship you and Dieter have. 

It seems like the awkwardness has dissipated and you’re hoping to ease into a peaceful parting for the evening. 

“You both are the best! Gosh, to think it was roughly a year ago you were screaming at Dieter—“

So much for the peaceful part. 

You see Dieter’s shoulders tense as Diem starts to recount the incident you’ve already re-lived earlier this evening. 

“Diem, no—“ Your attempt to get her to stop talking goes unheeded. 

“Calling him a washed up actor, or whatever it was you said—“

“Diem, please don’t—“ Your heart-rate quickening, if you didn’t already feel like shit from your foot-in-mouth event earlier, you definitely do now. 

Dieter’s jaw ticking to the side, as Diem continues the retelling of the story. 

“And then you tried to convince me to not have him stay with me— to think we wouldn’t be able to hang out like this if that were the case!” 

There’s that proverbial bomb you were waiting to explode, a nuclear wave that was bound to destroy everything in its path. 

“You what?! You told my sister to not allow me here?”

“Dieter, I just— I thought you were the type of guy who—“ The tears have made their way back, this time there’s nothing you can do to stop them from falling. 

“What type is that? The annoying movie star whose ego has to be stroked on the regular so he can continue playing the role of ‘look how glamorous I am’? Or is it the washed up-deadbeat-douchebag type that you think so little of?”

“I’m sorry…” Your lungs are filled with the weight of his words, drowning in the thick air of your own words being thrown back at you. 

“Listen— I'm sorry. I'm trying to care, but it's hard— Fuck! I need some goddamn air!” 

“Dieter?!”

Dieter stands hastily, his chair scooting back with the force of his movements, not saying another word as he makes his way out the back door. 

There’s a beat of silence, save for the occasional sound of Wren playing as she was told to do. 

“Okay, what the fuck just happened?!” Diem looking back in the direction of where he had gone, then back to you. 

“I fucked up Diem— I-I fucked up really bad.”

“What do you mean you fucked up? What did you do?”

Diem looking at you with desperation, eyes pleading to clue her in on the reason for Dieter’s agitation. 

You let out a heavy sigh before you begin to recount the events that had unfolded between you and Dieter. 

“I was heading over for our usual weekly get together, saw your car in the driveway and figured it was just you home— “ You can’t bear to look at Diem, your nervous tick of picking at your nails keeping your focus. “I let myself in, like I always do— started talking about Dieter and how I thought he was attractive and healthy looking— But then I just kept going and started talking about what I said when I found him in the bathroom at Wren’s party— I thought I was talking to you, until I realized it wasn’t you, it was Dieter.”

Your gaze slowly lifts to meet Diem’s, her expression solemn as she takes in everything you’ve shared. 

“I’m so sorry, Diem. I know we chat and share things openly with each other, but I didn’t— I didn’t mean for him to ever hear that.”

She takes a deep breath. You don’t get the sense that she’s upset, she’s always been able to keep herself pretty calm even when she’s angry. 

“Look, Dieter will get over it— It might take a minute, but I promise it will blow over in time. But you gotta stop with your constant need to prejudge and criticize people based on their past. Was your first impression of Dieter the greatest? No, it wasn’t ideal— but you can’t keep bashing him forever. He’s put in the work, you’ve got to give him a chance to at least prove it.”

She’s right. Hearing her call you out on your flaws stings more than you thought, but you know she’s right and you accept her unyielding words. 

“You’re my best friend, and I’ve already told you how much I appreciate your loyalty— but he’s also my brother and I can’t just assume he’s going to fail without reason. I’m going to support him and love him through this next chapter of his life, until he shows me otherwise.”

You wipe the last few tears that have started to dry, nodding in agreement. 

“I mean— I love you, but you gotta quit doing this shit. I know your past has hurt you in so many ways, but you got to stop it from letting you move forward with the life you’re living now.”

“Yeah, you’re right— I’ve got to make peace with things. I’m sorry, for how I acted and for the way things went tonight. I’ll make a better effort moving forward.”

“It’s okay. I mean it’s not, but it is. Come on.” She stands and motions for you to follow her, grabbing your things, you both make your way to the front door. “I think we need to let things settle a bit, give everyone time to cool off. Go home, take a bath, relax— don’t let it eat you up though. I’ll talk to Dieter, smooth things over with him.”

“Mama!! I need you!” Wren’s timing always seems to be right on point. 

“That’s my cue— mom mode engaged! I love you! We’ll chat more soon.”

“I love you too.” She pulls you into a tight embrace, it feels like a warm blanket of love. You hug her back, hoping she can feel just how much you love her too. 

“Mama!”

“Coming! Night!”

“Night Diem!”

*

He doesn’t even know how long he’s been sitting, letting the irritation of the evening quiet down, enjoying the chilly air on the back patio. 

The moon starts to crest the evening sky and the stars slowly appear, blinking from their respective peaks. 

The sound of the sliding door opening catches Dieter’s attention from where he’s sitting at the outdoor dining table. 

“Hey, you okay?” Diem placing a glass of ice water for him on the table, then taking a seat next to him. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Although, a heads up that you and Wren’s teacher were besties would have been nice.” 

“If I’d known you’d both be at each other's throats after your first meeting, I would have.”

He doesn’t really know what any warning would have done, but he wasn’t expecting to be front row to a vent session he wasn’t meant to hear. 

“Her and I talked— I let her know that what she said was not the nicest way of expressing her opinion—“

“Ya think?!” 

“Dieter let me finish. I told her she can’t let her past dictate her life or how she meets certain people.”

“Certain people? You mean people like me, you can say it— a former drug addicted, an actor. What kind of history is so bad that she’s put off by the idea of you letting your own brother live with you?”

“It’s not my place to share that with you. If and when she does decide to, that’s her choice.”

“But it was her place to talk freely about me with you? I’m assuming regularly too, being that you two have these little gossip nights every week.”

“That’s not fair, Dieter.”

“How so?”

“Look, I already told her that she was out of line with her comments. She needs to give you a chance and I’m going to ask you to do the same for her.”

He can feel his frustration bubbling up in his chest. 

“Fuck that! If she’s allowed to voice her opinion about me not coming around, then I’m going to have to do the same— I don’t want her here while I’m staying with you.”

“Well, that’s not an option Dieter, so you can just forget that!”

“Why? Because her friendship is more important than your own brother?”

“First of all, I never said that. Secondly, she’s all I had for a long time— she was here when I needed someone to talk to late at night when I couldn’t sleep, helped me with Wren when I needed it. She stepped up when I didn’t even ask her to.”

He hears the tremble in Diem’s voice, her usual level headed tone shifting towards anger the more she talks. 

“You could have just called and said you needed help, I would have been here.” The moment it leaves his mouth he knows how ridiculous it sounds, and knows whatever Diem is about to unleash on him is more than justified. 

“Are you fucking serious right now?! Called you? When could I have called you for your help?? Hmm?? When you were across the country shooting your big time movies for months on end?? How about when you and what’s his face were off gallivanting across Europe for a year? I should have called you then, right? Oh! I know— I should have called you every time you were strung out from doing fuck knows how many lines of Coke or whatever drug of the week it was.”

He feels gutted, every bit of him fileted open as Diem pours salt into every crevice of his undeserving body. 

This is all part of it though— the healing process. While there is bound to be plenty of excitement and joy around his recovery, there is an equal amount of uncertainty and ugliness that comes along with it. Raw, heavy emotions and animosity all have just as much of a place as the elated ones. 

“I didn’t have mom and dad— and I didn’t have you either.” She uses the sleeve of her shirt to wipe her tears as she brings her feet up onto the edge of the chair, arms pulling her legs close to her chest as she rests her head on her knees. 

“Diem, I’m sorry. I-I’m sorry I wasn’t available and I’m sorry for not being the brother you needed.” 

Reaching over he grabs the arm of her chair pulling it closer to his own, the metal of the legs scraping against the ground. 

He leans against Diem, head resting on hers 

as he wraps an arm around her shoulders. 

“I’m not asking you to be best friends, just to give her a chance, for me. Heck, you can even fake that you like her if you want to.” He laughs, but knows an actual effort is what Diem deserves. “I need you both more than you know. Can you promise that you’ll do that for me, Dieter?”

Her body shifts a bit, he leans back to allow her to bring her arm out from where it was tucked away. 

It’s as if they were transported back to their childhood, her pinky awaiting his to fully seal the agreement. 

“Promise.”

*

The rest of your evening went as Diem suggested— a warm bath with your favorite bath bomb and a small glass of wine to help relax even more. 

You hated how much you were the cause of the evening’s chaos, replaying every word of it on your walk home, as you soaked and now as you situate yourself in bed. 

The only remedy for your lackluster mood was a phone call away. Grabbing for your cellphone and scrolling through the recent call log until your thumb finds the contact you’re seeking. 

It’s ringing, the silence between each ring feels like minutes, but by the fifth ring you can hear the click of the call being accepted. 

“Hello?”

“Hi mom, it’s me.”

“Well hello there, this is a surprise!”

The way her voice is always soothing and warm, it feels as if she’s snuggled in bed next to you. 

“Sorry it’s so late, I just— needed to hear your voice.”

“Okay, what’s bothering you?” Her motherly senses already firing off.  

“How did you move on?”

“What do you mean?”

“With how dad was, is— how did you move on and feel okay to trust again?”

“Well, that’s a loaded question.”

Propping a few of your pillows behind you, nestling into them as you prepare to listen to what she has to say. 

“Time was a big factor. You were my main focus too. But eventually I had to realize that I can’t automatically assume that every guy I meet is going to be like your father, unless they show me otherwise. Once I figured that out, the fear of being let down was no longer keeping me from moving on. I hope that answers your question.”

“It does. Thank you mom.”

“So, who’s the guy?”

“I-I didn’t mention any guy.”

“You didn’t have to. But, he must be worth it though if you’re humble enough to seek out the opinion of your little ole mother.”

“Yeah— we’ll see.”

Next

[03-shiro-25]

Min Yoongi | Am I aggressive?

Min Yoongi x male reader

Synopsis: Reader has ONE topic he is really sensitive about... aggression/anger issues, so when someone mentions it at the dinner he is at, his mood changes completely

warnings: angst, panic attack?, lmk if i missed something

Note: english is not my first language, so i apologize for all mistakes I made, plus this is the first time I am writing and posting something

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You were so excited for today! Since the day you started dating Yoongi 3 weeks ago you always wanted to meet his friends. You always admired the bond he had with the other 6 males. And today, after asking Yoongi again and again when you could finally meet his friends, he arranged a dinner with them.

“I can’t believe I can finally meet them! Do you think they will like me?” since the moment you got out of bed you have been extra happy and energetic. Always asking questions and jumping around the house talking about what the members might think of you, not even listening when he answers your previously asked questions.

That was one of the things Yoongi loved about you. You always seemed to be happy and enjoying your life. You were the reason he smiled every morning when he wakes up because he is excited to spend another day with your active self. It never got boring with you. And he was incredibly thankful for that. Due to his work he often felt exhausted, stressed or even depressed, but you are always there for him. Either distracting him by telling him stories from you life or your day or you listened to him rant and comfort him.

“Of course they will like you” he answered your last question with a loving smile, even though he was aware that you probably weren’t even listening again due to your excitement, as he watched you walk through his apartment, at which you were staying often lately, to go to his room where your clothes were. You would leave soon so you two had to start getting ready.

He followed you to his room since he too had to get changed and ready. It wasn’t uncomfortable for you two to change in front of each other. After he put on his black jeans and a white button up he turned to you. You chose some black shorts and a black t-shirt. He knew you hated formal clothes, and he had no problem with that. ‘He looks amazing in these shorts combined with the t-shirt’ he thought to himself but soon got snapped out of his thoughts once he heard the front door open, realizing you left for the car already and were waiting for him.

He smiled at himself as he made his way out of the house, locking it behind him. He headed to the passenger seat and got in before you started the car and drove to the restaurant. “Oh, I forgot to tell you, Jimin is bringing a girl he has been meeting the past few weeks along to the dinner. He wants to introduce her to us and maybe make things with her official tonight” Yoongi told you while he admired the buildings passing past him. “Hey, he found himself a girl? I am happy for him!” you beamed happy for the younger man, and to show Yoongi you didn’t mind that someone else was coming too.

As soon as you arrived you saw the others already waiting at the table that was reserved for you all. You bowed down and greeted them all with a big smile on you face. “Hello, I am Y/N, it is a pleasure to finally meet you all!” they could hear your smile in your voice. So they all started smiling too. “No need to bow down, I am sure we will become good friends.” Namjoon told you and mentioned for you to sit down. Yoongi sat down beside you and watched you talk with everyone as if you all have been friends forever.

But there was one person who wasn’t talking to you at all. Jimin’s friend. She has just been sending you some annoyed glances. Probably because you got along with everyone so well and she didn’t really get the chance to talk to anyone properly. Yoongi noticed that and wanted to talk to her so she wouldn’t feel left out. But before he got the chance to say something he heard you laugh somewhat loud and looked at you. He loved the way your eyes closed and your teeth showed when you were laughing a REAL laugh.

In between your laughs you answered to what Jimin was telling you “You did not really say that! Did you?!” since you were invested in the conversation your voice was pretty loud and full of emotions. “Stop sounding so aggressive when you talk.” Jimin's girl snapped at you. That was the only thing it took to completely shut you up. You immediately stopped laughing and where completely silent. Your head hung low as you looked at your fidgeting fingers. “Finally..” was all that the girl added.

The moment Yoongi heard her say that he looked at you with a sad and worried expression. In your past 3 weeks he noticed that the word aggression did something to you, but nonetheless he has never seen your mood change like that, let alone in only one short moment. Now everyone was looking at you and Yoongi with an apologetic look. Your boyfriend was furious, but for Jimin’s sake he didn’t say anything to his girl friend, even though it took him all his energy to not right on scream at her to watch her mouth. 

Everyone awkwardly turned back to their conversations as you kept staring at your hands. Worries flooding your mind as you felt you hands starting to shake. Your sight got blurry as more and more tears gathered in your eyes. Yoongi looked at you worried since he noticed the shaking of your hands get more violent by the second. “Y/N?” he silently called out to you but you barely heard him. It sounded like it was muffled by a thick wall that separated his comforting presence from you.

As you tried not to think about it your breathing got quicker. It felt like not a single bit of air made its way to your aching lungs. You carefully stood up and talked with a really weak and shaky voice “I-if you ex-excuse me, I have to use the bathroom..” after that you speed-walked into one of the toilet stalls, locked it and let your tears flow freely. You hands shaking as if they where leaves in a storm and your breathing getting more uneven. The boys watched you leave with worry written on their faces. Yoongi shot up from his seat and followed you as quickly as he could.

‘Why do I always have to be so aggressive? Why can’t I be normal?! I hate this.. I hate to speak. Why is Yoongi with someone like me? All these years I tried to become better.. but I didn’t change one bit!!’ you screamed at yourself in you head. Your sobs increasing as more thoughts came flooding in.

You were scared. You could feel how you started to become dizzy from your uneven breathing. Your head started to hurt from all the crying. All you wanted was for it to stop.

Suddenly you heard a muffled banging on your toilet stall and someone screaming you name. “Y/N! Y/N please open the door!..Please let me in and help you..” at least your hearing came back slowly, so you recognized the person on the other side of the door was your boyfriend. He must have followed you here. He kept pulling and twisting at the doorknob trying to open the door. He tried to sound as calm and collected as he could, but he really needed to see you and make sure you were fine.

With shaky legs and hands you carefully tried to stand up to unlock the door but as soon as the lock was open you slumped back down onto the hard floor due to exhaustion. As soon as Yoongi heard the lock open he pulled the door open and kneeled down in front of your shaking body. The moment he looked at you he felt his heart ache. He has never seen you like this and he realized he definitely never wanted to see you like this again. Your always happy and bubbly personality was gone, he hated it. He wanted to see you happy and energetic again.

He broke out of his shock and thoughts when he heard you sniffle. His eyes stayed on you for a bit more before he finally placed a hand on your face gently. With his soft thumb he wiped your still flowing tears away. “Hey love. You don’t have to look at me but please try to match your breathing with mine. If you keep breathing like that I am afraid you might pass out” he hated the thought of that so he started to take in deep breathes, held them for a moment before exhaling again.

You did your best to copy him, and it worked. You breathing returned to normal. A sob wracked through your body again. “Shhhh.., everything is ok love.” he spoke as carefully and soft as he could, not wanting to upset you any further. Now your shaking started to die down too and you started to relax a bit more. “I am so sorry Yoongi..” he looked at you puzzled and hurt. What were YOU sorry for? “I must have embarrassed you in front of you friends.. please forgive me. I will never be aggressive aga-” before you could finish that sentence he carefully leaned forward, gently pushing his lips against yours with his hand still holding your cheek.

He kissed you. It was the first kiss you two shared in your relationship. He was so careful as he brushed his lips against yours as if they were made of thin glass. All the negative thoughts left your head as you now concentrated only on the kiss. It lasted for a few seconds before he pulled away and leaned his forehead against yours. “Don’t say that. You were not aggressive at all. You never were. You are the nicest person I have ever had the honor to meet. You are literally the light of my life, as cheesy as this might sound.” he chuckled a bit “But only thanks to you I can smile everyday and started to love my life. She was just jealous because the attention of all boys were on you and not her, because they all love you, even though they only met you today. You are already family to them, and none of them think you are aggressive. You did nothing wrong, you hear me?” He looked you deep in the eyes as you nodded, showing him that you believed him. He meant everything he said. He loved you more than anything.

“I don’t know why you end up like this when someone calls you aggressive, but I won’t force you to tell me. When you are ready you can tell me. And no matter what the reason is, I love you and will always love you, ok?” once again he looked deep in your eyes. They show nothing but honesty and love. “I love you too Yoongi” you answer after he helped you stand up and supported you on your way back to the boys.

As you arrived all the boys came rushing to you. “Are you alright?” Namjoon asked concerned. You just nodded and smiled before you realized that Jimin’s girl wasn’t there. “Where is she?” you asked carefully. They immediately understood who you were talking about and looked at Jimin who looked slightly annoyed. “Well, after you left she kept talking shit about you. I finally saw her true self so I may or may not have scolded her and told her to leave.” now he looked at you with a bright smile.

“No one messes with Yoongi-hyungs boyfriend and gets away with it.” he grinned as he put his arm around your shoulder. At that you started to laugh again and everyone laughed with you. You were glad you came today. The boys made you feel excepted, like you belonged here.

They made you feel like you were home.

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So, my first x reader. This is not proofread so I apologize for all mistakes again. I haven’t seen anyone write about reader who hates being called aggressive so I kinda had to try it myself haha. Please tell me what you think! (But maybe keep in mind that this is my first try writing an x reader, and please stay respectful!)

[eightfifteen]

It's another rainy day in Hawkins and Will is lying in bed in his dark room. It's still technically light out, barely five pm, but the clouds are so thick it barely matters. Still, Will had left the lights off. The dark house seems fitting for his mood even though it still always freaks him out a little bit.

Lucas had called to let him know that he wouldn't be able to make it to the movies after all, which of course meant that Mike suddenly had an excuse too. Will can't remember the last time Mike had allowed himself to be alone with Will. Will should be used to it by now, but it's hard to accept when it still hurts every day.

His eyes fall to the Walkie on his nightstand - he doesn't know why it's there. He hadn't used it since before they left to Cali, yet somehow it had ended up on his bedside table anyway after the move back. Maybe he'd hoped the distance truly had been a physical one after all, but apparently it doesn't matter how close Will lives, he's still too much effort.

Will doesn't know why he reaches for the Walkie, probably just feeling sorry for himself.

Will: Mike, it’s Will. Over.

(Silence)

Will: Mike are you there? Over.

(Silence)

Will turns onto his back and stares at the ceiling, his thoughts running away from him as his fingers stays stubbornly pressed on the 'talk' button.

Will: Of course not, why would you be. We haven't used this channel in years.

(Silence)

Will: I just wanted to say to say that I'm sorry, if there's something I did... I mean I know it's been rough lately but I just... I wish i could fix it. I wish there was something I could do to make everything right again.

Will: Mostly I wish I knew what I did wrong - or am doing wrong, I guess.

Will: I just - I miss you.

Will: *chocked up* I really really miss you.

Will shuts off the comm and punches in the antenna, turning onto his side as he lets his tears flow freely, sobbing quietly to himself as he allows the feeling of grief to consume him.

Fifteen minutes later, his tears have mostly dried out, and he's pulled from his contemplation by the sound of loud knocking cutting through the house. The lights are still off, so anyone should assume no one is home. Yet, he still pulls himself up from his bed to go investigate - there's always a chance his mom forgot her keys.

To his complete and utter surprise, the person standing in front of him is Mike, soaked to the bone and bike carelessly thrown on their front lawn. He's breathing heavily, not wearing a raincoat - which is just so typical it actually makes Will annoyed at him - and his wet hair sticks to his face.

All of this to say, it takes a second too long for Will to realize Mike has been crying.

"Mike?" He asks, aware he should open the door further and rush him in from the cold but strangely hesitant to. That does not stop Mike from pushing past him, however, always too comfortable in Will's space. "What's wrong?"

"You turned off your comm."

"Oh."

OH.

Will's eyes widen as he looks at Mike in shock, realizing his private conversation had not been so private. "I'm- I didn't think you were listening."

"Yeah, I know I just-" Mike seems to shake himself, forcing his eyes to meet Will's. "Look, it's not something you did, okay?"

Whatever Will had thought Mike had rushed through the rain to say, it hadn't been this. It should be a reassurance, it should be a relief, but Will knows it's bullshit. The words dig under his skin immediately, picking at hurt and frustration already buried deep.

Something hardens in his chest, and he's surprised by how bitter his own voice sounds as he bites back; "You keep saying that, Mike, and yet you still love punishing me!"

"What?" Mike's face scrunches up in incredulity.

"You say I'm your best friend and I'm different from the others yet you cancel plans whenever it's going to be just us!" Will notices the way Mike flinches at his words, turning in on himself as if trying to hide. "When is the last time we've actually hung out? Just the two of us? When is the last time you didn't ignore or dismiss me whenever we're hanging out with the party?"

"I-" Mike stumbles over his words, eyes looking away from Will and focusing on the carpet. "I'm sorry."

Will freezes at the tone of his voice, noticing to his surprise that Mike is crying again. It takes everything in him to keep his hands to himself, knowing that overstepping his boundaries is the last thing he should do right now, being touched by Will the last thing Mike wants.

Still, he can't help taking a step forward.

"Mike, what's going on?"

"I just-," Mike looks up but refuses to meet Will's gaze, looking around the hallway in frustration. "I don't want you to hate me."

"Why would I hate you?"

Mike sniffles, before allowing his eyes to finally meet Will's, so filled with misery it takes Will's breath away. "Because I'm a horrible friend."

Will frowns, but Mike doesn't allow him to interrupt. "I keep screwing up! I keep doing it wrong! I try to keep to myself and you get upset because I'm ignoring you. But if I wouldn't - if I'd just let you close again I might do something stupid and then you'd definitely hate me so I can't do it right and I'll definitely lose you and I already miss you so much it hurts every day."

"What would you do, Mike?" His voice is barely a whisper but it cuts through Mike's words, immediately capturing his attention. Mike's gaze fixes on him, suddenly heavy and loaded, compressing Will's lungs and making it difficult to breathe. Will hadn't noticed how close they'd gotten - this isn't close for them, and yet it's like Will's skin is already touching Mike's, the air sparkling with electricity as space warps around them until it's nothing, their atoms blending together.

Will watches as Mike seems to forcefully close his mouth and swallow, and glances up just in time to notice the way Mike's eyes cut back up from his lips. He knows it's wishful thinking, knows it's stupid and ridiculous and that it isn't actually happening, but his heart thrums with anticipation anyway, his arteries fluttering underneath his skin in nervous excitement.

He tries to focus, tries to get back to Mike's words so they can figure this out once and for all. More than anything he needs Mike to explain, he needs to know they can work through this and be best friends again. He would never forgive himself if he screwed this moment up, if he got lost in the wrong moment and proved once and for all how bad a friend he truly is.

"Mike, define stupid."

Mike's hands are on his neck, thumbs pushing his jaw up as he pulls Will flush against him. Will's chest erupts as Mike's lips meet his, his heart exploding in his chest as butterflies take over its job. His brain is blaring in alarm, but the rest of his body isn't paying attention, too busy melting into Mike's. His hands come up to clutch at Mike's side, fingers skimming his ribs and clinging onto the fabric of his shirt as he pulls Mike as close as he can.

Will's lungs aren't working, and yet it feels like he's breathing for the first time in his life.

Mike pulls back way too soon, staring at Will in horror as he takes a step back, hands reluctantly following. "I'm - I'm sorry."

He looks like he wants to dash past Will and back out into the downpour, but Will stops him, crossing the distance until he's standing back in front of him.

"No- Mike-," He reaches out without meaning too, years of restraint suddenly flown out the window apparently, and cups Mike's cheek, forcing him to look at Will again. He doesn't have any words, can't really speak, but Mike seems to get it anyway, seems to understand that Will isn't mad.

"You're crying." He responds miserably, aiming his gaze at the floor, cheeks aflame with embarrassment, and oh- yeah, Will is. He hadn't realized until now, but he definitely is. This explains the lump in his throat and the sting in his eyes.

Will sniffles and forces himself to smile, giving in to his own desire for the first time in his life as he reaches up to press a small kiss to Mike's lips. A quiet reassurance, louder than a thousand words.

Mike's eyes widen as he looks down at Will, lips parted in awe.

"I'm sorry. It's just," Will flushes as he takes a step back. "I thought that you would hate me. I guess I'm just... relieved?"

"You-," Mike's voice cracks. "You don't hate me?"

"No!" Will insists, eyes searching Mike's face. "I could never. You're my heart, remember?"

Something cracks in Mike's face, but before Will can look too closely Mike is pulling him forward, hiding in the crock of Will's neck as he hugs him tightly, body shaking with sobs.

[sixpillarsofgenesis]

Okay, listen. Before I ask two of these questions, I would like to say that you are one of the most talented DanCae writers or writers in general that I have ever seen in Ao3 because of how flexible your world-building is and how you characterize characters omg !!

I'm not yet aware if someone had asked this, but, in Infinite Stars, how would you describe caelus compared to canon? I simply want to hear it from youLMAO. I remember reading the chapters when it was still at... 80-ish thousand words, and I can't help but always mark those moments where Caelus is sorta described as the 'leader' among the trio (in the first chapters at least) and is always so knowledgable-both to making his own plans for Belobog and in general, compared to the- let's just say somewhat childish vibe that we have in canon but is still curious about the world

Idk how to word this out but what is the relationship between Dan Heng and Dan Feng? I know I'm a little late but I still remember that one chapter with the lines 'Dan Heng gives a half-laugh in response. “You’ve always been kind to me, my demon, and we have always been one. A little self-love isn’t remiss, is it?”' which is kinda... spicy if I'm being honest sorryLOL LIKE HE'S SO ASSERTIVE IN THE SITUATION IM. But yes, I simply wanted to know like, how can you even measure Dan Heng's assertiveness/dominance amongst all other things in comparison to his past life and/or their relationship

I have been on the floor since I finally realized I had asks in my inbox this morning I am paid such a high compliment right now you have absolutely no idea, I love you anon please have an onion ring.

Caelus is very assertive compared to canon. He doesn't get annoyed and then do things. If you piss him off, he says haha fuck you absolutely fucking not. He has better things to do with his time, he's old, okay? Also... lmao 80 thousand words. Those were the days - I forgot this used to be a small project. (for reference, this fic is currently at 246,301 words, because fuck me and my self control tbh.) He still holds a lot of curiosity, but he has a solid idea of who the fuck he is and what the fuck he wants. He takes responsibility for himself and those around him. It's easy to say he's the leader because in the end, he is the one in charge of the journey in Belobog, and it's his say that results in them staying or going.

Dan Heng and Dan Feng share a soul bond. It's not romantically inclined, but Dan Heng is very aware of who DF was as a person and is as such very indulgent with the remains. Dan Feng has spent a very, very long time completely alone and unable to do anything to help Dan Heng, and it's made him emotionally and physically fragile. Dan Feng also, at least for IIS, has never been an active leader. He preferred to follow, trusted his friends and associates sometimes to his detriment and especially with his relationship with Yingxing, which later became his undoing. He was considered arrogant, but he simply had no social skills to be spoken of, since everyone wanted to control him, and he just wanted to figure himself out. (if you cannot tell, he has not figured himself out.)

[artgirllullaby]

Under the Stars

So.... I made a ScaraxMona (WanderMona) fanfic a while ago and left it sitting on my stuff cause I wasn't confident or sure if I should post... But two days ago I got high on caffeine and in abstinence of my anxiety medicine which gave a sudden burst of courage and completely off my rails... then later had a depression crisis that E and the squad had to deal with (sorry guys)

So, in the middle of that, I forgot to post here too... So here we are.

Hope you guys like!

ScaraxMona Playlist: Spotify/Youtube

____________________________________

Original Notes: So, this was a impulsive writing I had after watching some Scaramona montage on YouTube (thx Feniko) and then went into Scaramona hell. This was written before Sumeru Arc and was sitting on my stuff cause my anxiety is really bad lately and having no therapy isn't helping, but on a crisis today I fixed some stuff on it when i had no internet and decided to post on impulse (again) and I'll probably regret later cause I have no idea where this is going aside the fact I have a playlist, took coffee and am on VERY HIGH ANXIETY AND CAFEINE DRIVE SO LETS GO YAHOOO

THIS CONTAIN SPOILERS FROM SUMERU ARCHON QUEST

---------------------------------------------

Under the Stars

(You collected Part I of "Ocean of Stars and Wondering Clouds")

When Mona met the Wanderer, she didn’t know why she was so aware and suspicious of him, but her sixth sense didn’t let her guard down for any minute. In fact, everytime he showed up she would be more aware of him. The traveler had told he was someone they had met before, but many things happened and it was complicated to explain why she didn’t remember, but he went through a lot and had changed. 

They had met when the Traveler got her into the Akademia through their connections (which later she found out that was no one other than Sumeru’s archon herself), but not as a student, just a researcher who had access to their library and facilities as much she wanted as long it had to do with her subject of study. 

She had seen through the constellations that Traveler would save the nation or do something along those lines, but then again she avoided looking too much or taking it as raw truth, the memory of the former adventurer she met still haunted her once in a while. Normally, she would pick on their constellation just to see how they were, if they were doing well or alive in their long months apart in adventures and then continue her day. If she happened to look and they weren’t doing well, she would send a letter. She would look into the stars later and learn they were getting better and wasn't exactly because of her letters, but there was a weird relief to send them. 

So when she received a letter back telling her to go to Sumeru and she got free access to the whole library, to say Mona choked on her tea, would be completely right. She was on her way to Sumeru the very next day.

~~~~~~Continue Reading on AO3/FF-net

(trust me, it's too long for Tumblr)

[memorydragon]

So I thought I was going to take a day off from ranting about how mental I am because of these gay cops, but nope. Normal levels have not receded.

First of all, I really do adore Bu Chonghua. He's a condescending prick at times, but I love him and I love how Huai Shang lets him be so very wrong at times.

Even when that wrong hurts like fuck.

There's this moment when they're both out of town-ish to interrogate someone and they stay in the same room because it's too late to go back. That morning, Bu Chonghua sees Wu Yu walking around, half asleep and shirtless and completely relaxed, and he realized that at some point, Wu Yu has marked him as 'safe'. And yes, I'm normal about that, but the point is, when exactly did Wu Yu mark him as such?

I made that post about misunderstandings being well done in this plot, but I need to clarify that there are sometimes Bu Chonghua is a condescending prick and Wu Yu is very correct when he's calling acab. The first time I read through it, I was like, yeaaaaaah, Hua-ge, I love you, but you're really being a condescending prick. And Wu Yu was well deserved in bitching him out.

The second time I read through it, it hurt like a fucking truck. Putting aside my personal flashbacks of being othered by someone who thinks you're part of 'them' while being completely and totally dismissive of my identity, when Bu Chonghua tries to draw the line between criminal scum and say they don't change, he was off. He was so off by miles and Wu Yu sneers and says he'll never become like Bu Chonghua because he really, really fucked that one up.

Which is why not even half an hour later when Wu Yu gets triggered so badly he's throwing up his stomach lining (onto Bu Chonghua's shirt XD), it had to be so jarring. Because Bu Chonghua correctly assesses his ptsd (which he knows, because he's been living that same empty life and have I mentioned I'm Normal about these trauma kittens?) then says 'I want to pull you back from that.'

If you saw my post from yesterday, yes I've been thinking about this all day to the point I can't even keep reading because massive fucking ow. Now, if you've been following me for a decent length of time, you're probably aware how I feel about spoilers. Namely, I don't care a wit about them. You can spoil me anytime and I won't care. Honestly, I prefer spoilers on some things (not to be hipster, but I was into tgcf before any of my friends and I would have really liked a spoiler about certain things but had no one to give them to me) and my enjoyment always comes from the journey rather than the destination in most cases. My spoiler tag is a polite accommodation for everyone else, which I sometimes completely forget to do, but I do try to keep up with it. (On that note, I'm so sorry, tgcf donghua second season was completely untagged for that. I completely forgot. -_-;;; ) That said, what I'm about to discuss is one of the few times I've actually danced around a major spoiler, because this one is quite big. I've avoided mentioning it explicitly in my previous posts about Tun Hai, but I'm about to mention details. So this is your warning, I'm about to talk about a spoiler that even I consider to be a significant one. If you don't want spoilers, scroll past and don't click the read more.

Because the only two people in his life who have ever genuinely cared about him and not who they thought he was wanted to take him out of that hell. Because his aunt gave him a name he can no longer use, because Xie Xing came back just for that promise. Because he's been forced to live someone else's life, the life of the only person who gave a damn, because he wants so badly to escape to a place where poppies aren't grown and he can't do that as himself. Because he's carrying Xie Xing's wish that he lives on for the both of them. And just fucking ow, little fish, please stop breaking my heart.

And this is where Bu Chonghua is marked safe, even so close after he fucked up so badly, because that's the one thing he's been promised by people who actually see him, that they're going to take him out of that hell and into the light. And Bu Chonghua just casually says this, not understanding why Wu Yu is stunned by something that to him is just normal amount of caring. Because two people died before they could make good on that promise, despite how hard they both tried, and how hard Wu Yu knew they both tried and died in their attempts. And I'm so fucking unhinged by this.

Because when before Bu Chonghua has even realized it, he's put himself along side what only two people have ever tried in in Wu Yu's life. All of that night, when Wu Yu shows him his favorite 'movie' (this little fish, Wu Yu, baby, why are you like this XD), when he follows Bu Chonghua out, when he watches Bu Chonghua basically take on a whole street gang while venting, only stepping in when Bu Chonghua was actually in danger, when Bu Chonghua is sitting there thinking by himself that Wu Yu deserves so much better, and when he realizes that Wu Yu can occasionally stick his head out of his shell and look around if someone is patient enough to wait (Abso-fucking-lutely feral). All of that time, Wu Yu has marked him as safe and I'm so Normal about Them.

[the-literary-nomad]

[It's Eid so I'mma post one of my favourite South Asian romcom book ideas]

There's this girl. And she's in the arranged marriage market, right? Her parents find someone and everything seems good. The only thing is, both families refused to provide pictures so they don't know what their potential spouse looks like.

Instead each party agrees to meet at a coffee shop and explains what the other is wearing. All this communication is done between the families—they don't talk to eachother even once. [pretty normal actually]

Finally the day of the coffee date arrives. And she dresses up in the outfit she said she'd wear and goes with her mum. They park and walk towards the entrance. At that moment, her mum realizes that she forgot her phone in the car. She tells the girl to go ahead and wait near the door for her since she's an hour early any way (this fam do be like that)

So the girl goes in and instead of waiting outside in the hot sun, she goes inside. Suddenly she sees the guy in the black button down and grey jeans and a baseball hat covering his thick curly hair.

He waves at her—she realizes he recognizes her clothing. She smiles and walk toward him. She realizes that oh my god she hit the jackpot because his eyes are like the lightest shade of brown she's ever seen in her life, and his face his bronzed and his jawline clipped. Who was this man?

She sat down at the table not even knowing what had made her sit down without waiting for her mum.

Damn, how'd I get so lucky?

The guy before her looked confused for a second and then burst out laughing, "Sorry?"

Oh my god had she said that out loud?

Did she just play it off with a laugh or turn into a nervous ninny?

"Yo, Hamad! Well well, I didn't know you had company."

The guy I front of her chuckled, and his honey coloured eyes twinkled with amusement; "Neither did I."

Hamad?

"Wait, what? Oh my god." The chair slammed back as she got up, and it fell over. She bent to pick it up, but it slipped from her fingers and fell again. The loud clang echoed as though the whole cafe had gone silent to witness this interaction.

Hamad had gotten up from his chair, and walked over to help her with the chair. She was utterly mortified.

Once everything was back in its place, she took a deep breath and apologized. "I am so sorry. I mistook you for someone else. It won't happen again. Obviously. Okay I'm leaving now before I do something even more stupid."

"Wait—"

But it was too late.

Well actually in my brain her mum enters at that moment along with the other guy and his mum (he looks completely different btw. And while he is quite handsome, it's not the bonechilling Hamad kind of handsome—she realizes). And then she spends the entire two hours talking to him while also every once in a while slipping glances at the completely oblivious Hamad.

Except he isn't oblivious

He's been doing the exact same thing.

And the way she said "Damn, how'd I get so lucky?" keeps echoing in his mind.

[my friends helped me out with this part]

But wait, fun surprise, he's the potential groom's dad's trusted protégé at work.

And so obviously he's aware of the whole wedding arranging process. And they can't avoid hearing about each other..

Also, the original match doesn't work out for reasons that are nobody's fault. Which sets the stage for the romance 😂

[back to me]

The "over hearing" parts over the next year go from occasionally eavesdropping to hunting for gossip until it finally reaches agonized wanting

Okay, so after a long tedious year of back and forth and realizing how they feel, wanting to be together and convincing their parents... they're finally doing their nikkah

And after they sign the marraige contract and the imam finishes the nikkah. They go to the reception hall. She's on the stage and he goes upto her—and here all of the lil marraige traditions come into play. Finally, he gives her his signature smirk and lifts her veil. When he sees her face his smirk morphs into a soft smile. His eyes light up, widen and then an adoring look enters it. He whispers softly so only she can hear him;

"Damn, how'd I get so lucky?"

***

Is this a product of extreme loneliness and absolutely no romantic experiences? Yes, yes it is.

Eid Mubarak, guys!

[kateandanthonyaremyparents]

What about a parent trap au?

OMG yes!!!

Think about Kate and Anthony living somewhere in Spain, far away from their families. Kate Sharma lives in New York and Anthony Bridgerton spends most of his time in London. They met when they were on a holiday and when Kate got pregnant they decided to move back to where it all started.

Only for them to realise being away from your family is HARD. Even when you're starting one of your own. So they fight, a lot. They fight about the twins that Kate's carrying. Where will they go to school?

"NOT private school, I don't want them to become snobs,"

"You think I'm a snob?"

"Well.. kind of? I mean, you're cute and all, but you're also very posh,"

Or about work.

"Are you going to work tonight again?"

"I am, go back to sleep."

"Kate.. that's fucking 5 nights in a row."

"I know, but you can't fight the rush of adrenaline when inspiration hits."

"You better come up with a good painting, since you're probably missing our anniversary breakfast."

"Oh, fuck."

"You didn't remember? Great."

Or just a new them choosing a new rug.

"I hate green inside the house, green belongs to nature."

"Well I like green, it reminds me of the gardens back home."

"I forgot about that.."

"You forget a lot lately."

"I still remember enough."

It is safe to say things aren't going good. They took a leap of faith with moving to a foreign country, and it turned out to be difficult to say the least. But in the end, both Kate and Anthony believed the love they feel for each other is enough. They'll make it, because their love feels like the love their parents share, and they would he fools to throw it away.

Once the twins are borne they help a LOT, Miles and Edmund are amazing little bundles of joy. The boys are sriving their parents insane with love during the day and insomnia during the night. They're getting better. Love did is worth fighting for. The boys are living proof of it. So ultimately they've decided on school, work, holidays, interior, life.

They still bicker, but that's just them. They might be young (23), but they want to grow up, and old, together.

Life was perfect again, until their fathers die it truly was. But disaster strook, first Milan Sharma died on Wednesday, and Edmund Bridgerton followed on Tuesday.

They couldn't cope, couldn't chose, couldn't mourn.

Anthony went back to England with little Miles.

Kate flew to New York with little Edmund.

They wanted to make it work. But Anthony has to take over the company from his dad, and Kate needs to be there for her mother sister. It's complicated, they meet two times before they admit this isn't working, they need to separate. Completely.

Edmund knows he has a sibling, he knows he's across the ocean. He's reminded of him every day when he looks at the picture of his brother on his mother's nightstand.

Miles is aware his father loved only one woman, his mother. His mother who had another child. Which may or may not was the reason his papa was so alone and sad all the time. He hears his father talking about Neddy to his Granny. He's curious, because why couldn't that woman handle him? He was only a child when the woman and his father broke up. Was he a bad kid? Didn't that Neddy kid like him? Was he the cause of their break up?

Now imagine them on soccer camp in France.

Anthony dropping his boy off before he went to a work event.

Kate sending her talented son to the best summer camp there is. Going on a roadtrip through France to regain some inspiration.

What will happen next?? When after two days Miles bumps into Neddy, seeing the resemblance. Finding out things about the other, connecting the dots...

[iplaytoomanyotomegames]

Got a request from @shonenkun20 . I apologize for getting it out so so so so so so So SO late I had started it just a few days after the request was made and had gotten a good chunk done but than I accidentally forgot to save it to my drafts at one point so I lost EVERYTHING and never forgave myself or this piece of writing 😅. Anyway, I had like no ideas for a story so I decided to just give you some jealousy headcannons and a small scene I apologize. Once again I'm sorry for getting this out as late as it is. Anyway here is my jealousy headcannons (+small scene) for our Oni boy Koga. I also apologize for how short and probably OOC this is. You didn't specify what gender so I went with female. I hope you like my little headcannons and fic. Enjoy♡

KOGA

I think this should be pretty obvious but he doesn't really get jealous very easily...

The only people he ever really gets jealous about (specifically over his s/o) are Toichiro and Kyua

With Toichiro he doesn't like how interested he seems in you even though he is like that with basically everyone...

And then you and Kyua just seem very friendly and while he is very happy about that he also...isn't

When it comes to his particular form of jealousy he just becomes a bit more protective than he usually is

Just always having an arm around your waist or shoulders sometimes even a surprise (often a LITERALLY breathing) kiss

Just over all very sweet and slightly possessive boy who just wants to protect you from other people's eyes and just be loved (insecure boy tbh)

Scenario:

You, (y/n) were at the lavish mansion of a handsome and fairly well known aristocrat you just so happened to have built an albeit strange, but nice friendship with. By the name of Toichiro Yuri. You were not alone of course as your lover was with you as well. He was another fairly well known man within the town you lived in. His name was Koga Kitamikado. Toichiro's valet Shizuki was there as well of course but he is less important as of the telling of this story. So the four friends (including Shizuki) had been sitting in a living room type area for some time simply discussing unimportant topics that somehow turned to a party of sorts being held in town in two days time (y/n) aka still you, had completely forgotten until it had been brought up by the not only fox like but also physically a kitsune in human form; Toichiro. A hand was placed on your knee from the fox man. "So (y/n)..." Toichiro began "I belive you have heard of the party being held in town square in just a few days am I right?" You had to think for a moment before you had fully registered his words, you than nodded in recollection of the large festival like dance to be held. "Yeah I do remember hearing about it." You stated blatantly in reply wondering not only about why he was asking given he was quite literally the one who had brought it up to you in the first place, but also because his hand was now lightly resting on your thigh. Of course you couldn't have seen it but Koga had a glare frosty enough to rival Shizuki's ice powers and was directing it at Toichiro's smug face. He, Koga than slipped you out of the foxes grasp and into his arms a frigid look still pointed at his friend. "We are going together." He told The Kitsune. The fox smiled wryly at the Oni. "Oh? I wasn't aware you had fully made your claim to her." You ended up in the middle of a slightly intense stairing contest between the two, up until Shizuki cut into the conversation. "It seems to have gotten rather late. I believe it would be best if maser Koga and Ms.(Y/n) were to get home before dark." You wordlessly thanked him and the two other males nodded in agreement, thus cutting the tension in the room. So Koga and yourself both stood up from your seets and were escorted by Shizuki to the door. Once the two of you got to your house he slipped his arm from your shoulders to your waist and leaned in for a soft and sweet, yet passionate kiss. Almost like he was trying to pour every ounce of affection he had for you straight from his heart into yours. Once you pulled away from each other he gave you a gental smile and a second small peck to your lips, and then another, and then a third. You softly sighed and leaned against him. "You know he was just teasing you." He nodded at your words a sigh leaving his lips. "I know, but I don't like it when he touches you like that." He mumbled back. "I know...you know I love you, and you alone right?" He nodded, a hidden smile gracing his handsome face. "I love you too." He replied. "You should head inside and get some sleep." You nodded with a yawn. "I suppose." You mused before giving him one final kiss on the cheek and heading inside your house.

The end♡

[keefwho]

July 21 - 2023 Friday

7:18 AM

Time to cover some embarrassing feelings since the weekend is approaching. They are leftovers of becoming too lost in my thoughts and current situation. The best thing I can do is admit them and work through them, I should not be ashamed. I’ve felt good knowing I always have bestie time in the evenings even if just for a little bit. I should know in my heart that there will always be a next time even if those times end up few and far between. The weekends throw that up in the air because how much she likes to do and socialize. I get worried that I won’t get the time I want. Even more embarrassing is I worry about how close she might get to someone else in case I get outperformed which seems easy. 

Both of these feelings have to do with how detached I’ve gotten lately. I more or less fell into the thought that we’re a couple when we aren’t and was behaving unhealthy in a way that wasn’t fair to myself or the relationship. Even if only briefly, I was re-understanding the importance of being on my own more and letting things be what they are naturally. It is easy for me to fall back down though, especially this early into figuring things out. I gotta stay vigilant and catch what I can. All I can expect from myself is my best. 

Step one is to realize I’m already setting myself up for failure by thinking I’m going to repeat the same cycles or that everything is going to work against me. I’m already inherently predicting failure and it would be helpful if I could keep catching thoughts that actively work against me. 

8:35 AM

The big goal is not to hinge my entire existence on one person or group like I’ve done in the past. 

5:51 PM

Oops, I’m thinking too hard again. It’s stuff I’ve heard before. I’m having thoughts like “What the point of trying, it won’t work out,” or ���I must be a real lose, look at the state of my life.” Two very powerful thoughts that I know can make me go down a pretty wicked spiral. I think I just need to talk to someone about it, anyone I feel comfortable with. Someone who will listen. I’m also trying to defuse on my own first. 

6:47 PM

At least I’m aware of the state my mind is in even if I’m finding it hard to defuse. It almost feels hopeless but I know thats just another thought. I really just need someone to talk to but I’m having trouble picking who.

9:49 PM

Too often I am not true to myself. I don’t let my desires be known and I fester. I try to placate everyone. It’s hard to remember I’m valid too. 

I crave reassurance in different forms but I know better than to give into it unless I’m coming from a genuine place. Often times I want to hear certain things to make me feel better about myself but it’s a temporary solution, a mask. I know my issues run deep and have to be confronted no matter how hard or scary it might be. 

10:48 PM

It might just be the intoxication but my entire being is screaming at me to tell my friend how much I want to discuss things. I always have something heavy to talk about, too much I feel. I know it can be an unstable thing to always be addressing struggles, especially when a lot of them are repeats caused completely by me. It’s hard to tell if my feelings should be taken seriously sometimes. Because they can also come from a place that only wants to cover up things I don’t like about myself. It takes a lot of restraint to keep things inside that might not be legitimate. Like an alcoholic avoiding a drink when it’s all he craves. 

8:13 AM (The Next Day)

I forgot to do a journal entry which I think is important now that I’m trying to look at what I’m proud of doing and what I could have done better. I already don’t remember a lot about how I felt but I’ll summarize what I can.

Breakfast was half a totinos pizza and a granola bar while I watched Twitch until work time. I did my warmups slowly and had to stop doing the commission because I just didn’t have the brain power to do it justice for some reason. I couldn’t focus on anything or tell if I was doing a good job. Instead I worked on my VR bathroom world and finished the last of the animations. After stream I skipped my boxing workout on account of my still strained back but I did make the spontaneous decision to go out with mom to see a nearby wildfire. It was a very short trip but a trip nonetheless. I ended up cleaning the area around my toilet despite not feeling like cleaning. I took an extra thorough shower for no particular reason. I just wanted to give a little extra care to my body today. Lunch was a nice little chicken burger with some doritos. Despite my still suffering mental capacity, I worked on and finished an emote set for someone and almost finished the next one too. Then I worked a little bit more on the world. I started to emotionally slip in the afternoon and was saved by some Zelda time with the bestie. After she fell asleep I finished my drink while watching MoonMoon. 

I can say I was proud of getting a lot of things done today despite the mental hurdle. I didn’t have to work on anything after putting off the commission. I also didn’t have to clean or work on those emotes or anything else but I did anyways. Thats one thing I’ve been getting good at, doing my best even though I know it might not be very good. The point is that I did anything at all. I’m also proud of recognizing that some of m strong feelings last night didn’t need to be broadcasted or entertained because I knew they weren’t genuine and I would calm down. Acting on some feelings will do more harm than good. It’s hard identifying which ones are like that though.

As for what I could have done better, I don’t know what could have prevented me from slipping in the evening. I was trying not to go too far. Maybe I could have picked something to do to occupy myself because I know I was sort of letting it happen by doing nothing. I want to make sure I’m not running from it though. Its hard to keep those feelings in awareness and also do something else in the meantime. 

[changesinattitudes]

Better Late Than Never

June 6, 2023

 After a marathon two-day run, on Tuesday May 23, 2023 at 8:19 PM we tied Changes in Attitudes to our dock behind our house. The voyage was over.

We left Harborage Marina as planned at 5:30 AM on May 22 for the scheduled opening at 6. Between leaving the dock and going under the bridge I managed to run aground for the second time of the trip. If you remember the first time was leaving Pelican Bay on the second day. This being the planned next-to-last-day it was only fitting. But this time it was my own disorientation in the dark that led me to drift out of the channel. Fortunately, by going side to side and using full power I was able to dredge our way back into the channel. No harm, no foul.

There were probably 20 boats and a commercial tug in line for the scheduled 6;00 AM bridge opening. The Coast Guard Local Notice to Mariners had stated the bridge would be in the open position from 6-7 that morning then resume normal operation after that.

Someone forgot to tell the train operator. The bridge remained closed while a freight train slowly made its way across. Finally, 50 minutes late, at 6:50 the bridge opened.

Due to the number of boats heading the same way we were west bound traffic was cleared to pass first. We were number 4 behind a mega yacht, a commercial tug and another trawler. The next bottleneck would be the St Lucie lock which would have room for 6 boats.

The race was on.

We pushed the throttles forward to the breathtaking speed of 7.5 knots. This enabled us to do something we never do, pass another boat. But not just any boat, it was the commercial tug we got around. This was fortunate as we found out later. This put us in third position with just 4 miles to go.

Not much further we got passed by a plaining boat with a huge wake. As we got rocked we were thankful the good China was stowed and the stabilizers on. Now we were in 5th place. With just over a mile to go we were passed again. Fortunately, we were upon a no wake zone now and were able to block anyone else from passing (think NASCAR).

The first west bound locking of the day was at 7:45 and we made it in the first group! Yeah! We later found out that the commercial tug was the next through and needed the entire lock, so the rest of the fleet had to wait for our group then the tug before they could come through 6 at a time.

The bridge operators were aware of the mass of boats transiting the Okeechobee Waterway and timed their openings so there was little delay. The only incident with a bridge came the next day when the trawler in front of us called the Fort Denaud swing bridge a railroad bridge. That didn’t go over well with the bridge operator. The dressing down of the trawler skipper was epic as the bridge operator explained the difference between a highway bridge and a railroad bridge. A delay of about 5 minutes was incurred but to hear the dissertation was worth it.

The Port Mayaca Lock was in drive through mode and the crossing of Lake O was mostly uneventful. The only break in the monotony came when a trawler going the opposite direction, on a course to pass starboard to starboard, when a mile away turned to intercept us. I watch him as he closed and about 100 yards away he turned abruptly to starboard again right in front of us. Huh?? WTF?? As he crossed our bow he then turned to port and resumed his course passing us on the “ones” about 20 yards away. In summary he took a ordinary passing situation and maneuvered his boat to create havoc. He then decided to use 16 to question my knowledge of the Rules. I bit my tongue as he demonstrated his ignorance to all that were listening.

We made it through the Moore Haven Lock about 3:30, an hour before they closed, and tied up to the cheap town dock there.

The next morning called for a 6:00 AM departure again as the last leg would be around 100 miles. This leg was completely uneventful except for the bridge incident mentioned earlier. It was also the hardest as it seemed to go on forever; Charlotte Harbor can be the longest three hours of a life when heading home.

A bit of a summary. Our trip took 65 days. Of the 65 days we were at anchor or on a mooring 53 nights. We were in the Bahamas 52 days. We traveled almost 1300 nautical miles and used around 650 gallons of diesel.

It was an excellent trip. We enjoyed each other and the people we met and traveled with. The scenery in the Bahamas is spectacular, the people friendly.

But we are glad to be back.

[victoryrifle]

2 years of Folkesange (released on March 20, 2020)

[goldengoddess]

it looks better on you - nikolai lantsov

pairing: nikolai lantsov x reader 

request: Hiii! I recently discovered your blog and I love everything you write, your Nikolai content deserves so much love (as does everything else)!But speaking of that cheeky bastard, would you be up for writing headcannons or in a style you’re comfortable with about Nikolai (Strumhond in this case) where reader is new to the job and packs light and forgets a coat, but Tamar tricks them into wearing Strumhond’s coat (being oblivious that it’s his) and Strumhond makes a sarcastic comment but in the end is fine with it? Don’t worry about if you’re busy - it just came to mind! ❤️

a/n: thank you sweet thing! i love my baby nikolai,,, this is so cute by the way i love the concept so much 

warnings: cursing, suggestive comments

you could not have been so stupid. 

it was your first week on this job. you were new to the crew of this ship, and you had done everything right up until that point. you wanted to make the best impression possible. strumhond’s crew was legendary. there wasn’t a single sailor on the seas that didn’t know his name.

and you, of all people, had been lucky enough to be chosen to help his crew. if you proved yourself, you hoped, you could get an actual permanent job with the crew. 

but of course that wasn’t going to happen, because you were going to freeze your ass off before you even got the chance to do anything useful.

your inability to think ahead had caused you to forget to bring a warm coat. most days at sea were warm, sometimes too warm, with the sun hitting your face and body at every angle.

but there were days like this one where the winds were too rough and the air to cold, and every part of your body felt like it could fall off due to frost bite.

you searched the deck of the ship around you, hoping to find a spare coat, but mostly to make sure that the captain of the ship didn’t see you freezing in the corner.

you’d seen him a couple of times in the last couple of days. usually giving an order or messing around with the closest of his friends on the ship.

he was cute, you couldn’t deny it. at a distance there was nothing wrong. but closer up it was easier to see that there were parts of his face that seemed.. wrong. you’d been around long enough to know a tailored face when you saw one.

you tried not to linger on the reasonings for his tailored face, it wasn’t your business and it didn’t change his ability to lead a crew. despite that, you couldn’t help but imagine what he looked like for real. he had this royal presence to him.

even though he was a pirate, sorry, a privateer, he knew how to hold command. how to get people to listen when they didn’t want to. to make deals and compromises whenever a fight broke out. to leave both sides satisfied. he was like a prince at sea.

okay so maybe the prince had caught your attention more than you wanted to admit.

but it was hard not to be interested in him when every time he made eye contact with you it felt so intense that your knees felt weak.

the sudden gust of cold air snapped your thoughts back to the reality of your situation. your arms were wrapped around your body, as if this position could make the light jacket you had on suddenly sufficient against the cold.

you saw tamar walk onto the deck from below deck. she turned and saw you huddled near the wall. you gave her a sheepish and embarrassed grin. tamar had been the first person to speak to you and though you’d only known her a couple of days, you knew she was the kind of person one trusted.

she walked over to you with an amused smile. you could practically feel the teasing retort that was about to come out of her mouth.

“you look a little warm y/n, you sure you don’t want to take off your jacket.” she sarcastically said, her grin growing on her face.

you rolled your eyes and let out an annoyed huff, “if i die from hypothermia i’m going to make sure to haunt you.”

she let out a throaty laugh. “good, i happen to like your company. you can help me scare the shit out of tolya. he could use a ghost visit.”

the two of you shared a laugh and then you looked at her with slightly sweet puppy eyes. “tamar, please please tell me you have a coat. i stupidly forgot to pack one, trying to keep my bag light.”

she nodded her head at you, “yeah i’ve noticed.” she thought for a moment and then her face broke out into a mischievous smirk. “well i don’t have a coat to lend you but i know someone who has a spare.”

you nodded your head rapidly with enthusiasm. “saints, yes. i won’t get any work done today without a coat.”

she smirked at you and some part of your brain was telling you that her smirk had something hidden behind it. an extra plan. the look of many of the criminals you’d met during your time in ketterdam.

she linked her arm through yours and pulled you towards one end of the ship where a long brown coat was laid on top of the helm of the ship.

you looked at her sceptically, “who’s coat is this?”

she shrugged, grabbing the coat and easing it onto you. “think of it as a community jacket. we all like to share.”

you grinned and let yourself slip into the warmth of the cloth. you shuffled around a little and grabbed onto the ends of the sleeves since the coat was on the bigger side.

“i like it”

tamar smirked and motioned for you to spin, “it suits you. like it was made for you to use it.”

you narrowed your eyes and her words but before you could say anything she was walking back below deck.

the rest of the day went by without a hitch. the cold stopped bothering you and completing your daily task were actually easier. the coat smelled of the sea, the feeling of the sun, and an oddly familiar cologne that you couldn’t quite place.

it was too late before you realized how badly you’d fucked up.

you were on the right end of the ship, tying knots as the sunset around you. tamar was sat on a box talking while you worked quietly.

“nice coat y/n. i didn’t know we were at that level in our relationship just yet.” you heard a voice say from a couple feet away.

your head jerked upwards at the voice and you met the eyes of the one and only strumhond. he wore a smirk on his beautiful face and he was leaning against one of the beams of the ship.

you looked down at the coat you were wearing and had grown fond of throughout the day and your eyes went wide. you snapped your head to the girl sitting next to you, only to find her laughing silently into her hands. you threw her the most menacing glance you could manage before turning your attention back to your captain.

you got up and started wiggling out of the coat, “i am so so sorry. i was freezing and i under packed and i knew i wouldn’t get any work done today if i was cold so i asked tamar and she gave me this one and i never would have borrowed it had i known that-”

you paused your rambling and the sound of strumhond’s laugh. he took a couple steps forward so that he was closer to you and tamar.

“y/n, sweetheart, it’s really okay. we wouldn’t want you to freeze now would we tamar?” he shifted his attention to the girl next to you, throwing a teasing threat.

she hopped off the boxes she was sitting on and began walking away. “nope.” she said, popping the ‘p’, “we wouldn’t want that.” and then she was gone, leaving you and the privateer alone.

you gave him a small, embarrassed, smile. “i really am sorry. i wouldn’t have taken it.”

you finished taking it off and tried handing it back to him. he grabbed it and opened it up, an invitation to step in.

you looked at him curiously. “what are you doing?”

he nodded his head, motioning for you to step into the coat. “just use it. it’s cold. plus.” he paused and slipped the coat onto you, popping the collar. “it suits you.”

you blushed and turned to face him, suddenly aware of the closeness between the two of you.

he looked you up and down. “yeah,” he said in a breath, “it looks better on you.”

your breath hitched and your blush grew down onto your neck.

he leaned forward, his mouth closer to your ear.

“but it would look better on my floor.” he teased before walking away.

oh fuck.