#i am the asshole

[cawareyoudoin]

You ever do something so stupid that you're not even sure you can tell your therapist, and also so hurtful to someone that you really care about, that it's a literal weight in your chest? And thinking about telling someone only makes you feel worse because the problem was you being self-centered in the first place? And you should be thinking about the person you hurt, but you can't really fix it in any way you know of, and any attempts would seem not genuine? You ever do that?

Wish I didn't!

[mu-esli]

I just read your aita post and good god the numbers of misogynists in the notes is kinda baffling. Your anger and incomfort were justified and your reaction was so mild compared to that its wild people act as if you murdered his cat in front of him

Thanks for sympathizing with me :)

I'm mostly baffled by the people gaslighting me saying the drawing "surely wasn't that much sexualized" and that I just had never seen a big pair of boobs.... first, they didn't even see it lol wtf. And second, me = G cup. I see big boobs everyday in the mirror lmao

[goodwomanbadlady]

I am the Asshole, but is it justified?

Okay, my mum(67f) and I (43f) were talking about taking goodies to the niblings and adopted littles that live in another state. I recently attended one of our local pride parties and had pride themed goodies as well as the Halloween things. While gently touching them (almost reverently? Hesitantly? It was weird.), my mum mentions one of the kids who is gay and how much he likes pride merch. I nod because me too. She continues with how much he takes after his father. My blood runs cold.

"Please tell me you don't think he's gay because his father is?"

"Well, he (his father) is very attention-seeking."

Reader, please understand that in this context, this is a derogatory term that was used against me ad infinitum. I didn't realize that it was apparently a trigger word for me.

I struggled to remain calm and coherent.

"Usually, if someone is attention-seeking, it's because their needs are not being met and they're reaching out. It sounds to me like a generational issue that their needs aren't being met. Usually, someone who is attention seeking just for attention would be in theatre or something."

"I just think he gets a lot from his dad." She did say more, but it is personal information about those people and not my business to share. The summary is that the father of the child is notably immodest and mum doesn't approve. Also implied was that being gay and out was a learned behavior.

And this is where I became the asshole because I didn't recognize until right then that this was closely mirroring something in our own dysfunctional relationship. I walked away to grab the broom and began aggressively sweeping.

"Well, apparently not because submissiveness didn't work on me and I never learned to keep my head down and shut the hell up." I spat with venom. (See my username.)

Mum immediately started crying and I yelled

"I didn't say you did it!" Her siblings had a heavy hand in how we were raised. It wasn't a kind one.

I didn't even get to the point that of all lgbtqia, exceedingly few are "just saying that for attention".

She said she was going to her group hangout and left.

I hesitated a minute and then went out to the car and apologized before she left but it'll be days before we're okay again.

I know I was an asshole for snapping at her, but was it justified by her assumptions about gay people (myself and plenty of people she knows)?

I hope we'll be able to clear up some misconceptions as well as address the whole "attention-seeking is not a bad thing. Helping someone find constructive ways to get the attention they need is good." Bit. But I'm not sure.

For a little context, we are in the southeastern US. It's incredibly brave of the child's father to be out at all much less the child, who is in high school. Back in my rural hometown, they have very few trusted people. The father is notably dishonest and that is my only issue with him. The idea that I don't care that he's bi (because so am I 🙄) or that he enjoys lacy clothing (because it's just clothes!) shocks them.

If they don't care when I wear almost exclusively "men's wear" why does it bother them that he wears "women's"? They think that because I'm in a hetero"normative" relationship, that it doesn't matter for me. This is the toxic patriarchy. The man should be able to wear whatever the hell he wants. If you don't want him to wear that at your house, tell him. Don't just talk about him for years after and now talking smack about his kid? So yeah, I snapped and I'm sorry I yelled at my mom, but I don't feel like there wasn't reason.

[pure-misery333]

Being so sick makes me such an asshole but can you tell when ppl on edtwt are lying about their bmi for clout like honey I knooooow that’s not bmi 12-13 tf????? fuck out of here

[changelingsandothernonsense]

Oh look that really flimsy driveway that I specifically remember saying "hey *insert ex name here* I think this is going to become a sink-hole, maybe we should try to get that fixed" did, in fact become a sink-hole. The damn thing swallowed a rubbish truck.

Everyone in the truck was ok, thankfully but I knew I remembered that damn driveway.

[helpful-writing-tips]

if you're trying to get into the head of your story's antagonist, try writing an "Am I the Asshole" reddit post from their perspective, explaining their problems and their plans for solving them. Let the voice and logic come through.

[wild-moss-art]

This is why I read the reddit comments

[alanaisalive]

Now that Eurovision is over, I want you all, especially the Americans, to take a good hard look at how the voting results turned out when people boycotted the event.

In the UK, the viewing figures were down about 2 million people compared to last year. Up to 2 million people made the conscious decision to not watch and not vote because of Israel's inclusion.

The final results of the public vote, Israel came in first place in the UK and got 12 points. Because the only people watching and voting were people who backed Israel or at least didn’t care one way or another.

This doesn't matter. It's a music contest. The boycott was still the right thing to do because it is just a show at the end of the day, and the viewing figures have more impact than the results.

But it is also a good object lesson to show you what happens if you boycott a vote over something that does matter. Choosing not to vote in, let's say, a presidential election will have similar results.

[wanologic]

reminder to take care of your loser human body

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Okay. Am I the asshole if I call out my roommate's self-centered behavior? I live in a communal space, where everybody except C shares freely. C got a good job through connections and is able to spend freely on themselves, spending little on household items, groceries, etc. They say they're broke every month, but I've seen their takeout containers and amazon boxes, so maybe it's a spending problem. Worst of all, when we are low on food, C just disappears for a few hours and comes back instead of cooking with everyone.

I've told C that they're being selfish and they should start considering other people, but it goes in one ear and out the other. I offered to help budget but they don't listen! They barely spend more than $400 of their $2000 a month on groceries for the house; the rest goes to their lavish lifestyle while the rest of us suffer. I just want them to pay their fair share. AITA for asking them to be fair??

Including some more specific INFO from version 1 of this post (which wasn't postable due to being about emotions rather than actions):

What are these acronyms?

[madscientistenthusiast]

Personally I think that Azula should have been redeemed simply so that she can become Zuko's horrible little advisor who whispers evil little plans to him so that he can do the exact opposite

[transfaguette]

aita is so funny the way people will be like “throwaway/anon cuz other person uses this website” and then just go on to describe hyper specific scenarios that would be unmistakable to the people involved.

[mu-esli]

Following you specifically BECAUSE you were rude to that guy. Literally God forbid women do anything

Well I actually regret having said that. I don't think the guy realized it could make me uncomfortable showing me this as a first meeting and that is mostly a flaw of our society, so I think I shouldn't have been this harsh with him. But yeah, I guess it makes me kinda sad to see the percentage of people not even understanding where my reaction came from

[kpopstudi3s]

I had a friend go to his Chicago show and I haven't messaged them back since then because I'm terrible at answering messages and now I feel like it's been too long to talk to them 😓

yoongi teasing armys before touching their hands 😭 cr. jung-koook

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

I think I made some of you guys a little sad with my last post, so you can have some happy aftermath twins before part 2, as a treat ❤️

[krysmcscience]

Call this the Whoopsie AU (it's barely an AU)

I mean. Narinder never explicitly SAID the Lamb would stay dead... :3c He probably should have been more specific. >:3c

Part Two:

Well. The Lamb tried, but...sorry, Nari, the crown hates you now. Shouldn't have been so quick to lend it out, I guess. :D

Aaaand Part Three:

'Isn't he just adorable?' -The Lamb, probably, while their followers smile and nod and internally scream at the brand new hellcat they now have to share living space with...

Anyway, nothing says 'Dead To Me' like following a person around to loudly remind them of how dead they are to you. Right? Right. Narinder's got this all figured out. <:]