#i am straight presenting technically i guess

[jeremiahthefroge]

crazy how sexuality as a trans man can feel. like. it feels like i forgot to cancel my subscription to lesbianism when i transitioned and now i am somehow both a man and a lesbian

[patricia-taxxon]

I want to set the record straight regarding a certain OST for a short film that should be coming out later this year, because one of its directors is making false and hurtful claims about me and my business ethic. After he made a prominent appearance on a drama stream about me & wrote a section of my callout doc, I told him that I wasn't interested in dragging him publicly, but that has felt more impossible as time goes on and I realize the extent of his misrepresentation. I had a vision of this film being able to release quietly in spite of everything, but I don't think that can happen, and I fully expect him to try and hurt my chances at further work.

In 2023, between techdogs 4 and 5, I worked on music for a then good friend's student film. It is by far the most technically difficult job I've ever had, and I did it for free. Now, before you get mad, this is partially (mostly) my fault. I never negotiated a price beforehand, and when I found out partway through that I was working for free, I let it slide for fear of being disruptive. If I was asked to quote a price today, it would have been approximately 900 USD. The work was a hellish and grueling experience, technical in ways I'd never been prepared for, and I sorely regret not putting my foot down, because I was hollowed out by the end of it.

A big portion of his callout against me is concerned with, bafflingly, my decision not to contribute my own money to the film, which at that point would have been a negative paycheck. I didn't pay the thirty dollars that I would've had to pitch in for the film to be screened, and I considered that a fine payment for the nine hundred dollars of work they got from me. He goes on to write that I'm rich anyways, I pay hundreds of dollars on album art (business expenses that I know I'll make back when the music is released) and "furry porn," because apparently if I am occasionally willing to drop a pretty penny on a pleasure purchase then I should simply be compelled to pay them randomly for things I hold no stake in and that I signed no contract for. He also mentions that I paid them later for the DCP file at another screening, of course by that point I had gotten the vibe that they were wanting for me to drop money on their project, so I did, giving the post-hoc justification that "i guess in this case I also care about the film sounding good." He writes "well I guess that was something she deemed worthy" without realizing the implication would then be that he did not see my own work as worthy.

Let me make this clear, this is like if a voice actor worked on my video game for free as a favor with no expectations of royalties, and then I asked them to help me pay to get the game on steam. This is presented along reheated second, third, fourthhand accounts of sexual misconduct.

And before we move on, to the claim that one album artist had to wait for years before receiving payment, this is true. I did forget to pay one artist, and only found out after their assistant contacted me years later, where I then paid six times the asking price as a late fee. I was commissioning over ten album arts every year, and as of now, this is the only time I have made this mistake.

It is impossible for me to refute his claims about the personal time we spent together in Omaha, as it would just be my word against his. I will just say that he should know the omitted reasons that I have grown to feel I was disposed, discarded, and taken for granted by him, and how he has nothing to do with why I hold those memories at that film festival so highly. He also does the classic thing where he positions allowing me to pick the movie in the evening as this favor he did, making me unknowingly rack up debt for a bargain I never consented to.

During all this, he has expressed an existential fear of being harassed for going public about me, and for this reason I want to say that I still hope that this film can be released without a fuss, but his continued participation in a harassment campaign against me has done far more to tarnish his reputation than I ever could. If you really cared about your image, pressure Crim to re-record that drama stream without your embarrassing petty grievances in it & delete your testimony from the callout doc. Thanks.

[hello-gloomy]

Nail Polish

Megatron x Gen!Reader

(Slight Decepticon x reader in the beginning)

_____________________

Description: In meeting room waiting for Megatron you paint your nails starting a conversation of matching color schemes to your nails.

Warnings: Mildly OOC, Nothing too serious, mild flirting from Knockout, and mildly feminine pet names, but the reader has no set pronouns.

A/N: Can you tell I have a favorite? Istg if u ask me to write for someone else, I will try to get to it, lol.

Words: 657

_____________________

" What is that smell..?" Starscream asked after a few moments of standing in the meeting room.

"Acetone," the static voice of Shockwave came, not even glancing up from his data pad. His single optic glowed a faint red in the black and purple room.

"Really? I would have never guessed." Knockout chimed in with sarcasm, observing you painting your nails on the meeting table closest to Knockout. Starscream rounded the table with an optic roll and sat beside Knockout.

"And why does it smell like that." He asked with exasperation, lacing his glossa. Deciding to end the patronizing questions, you answer him.

"Because I'm painting my nails," You raise one of your hands. "See." He leans his helm forward and raises his servo to hold your little hand in his.

"Are those the Decepticon colors?" Starscream announced, causing Shockwave to look up and Breakdown to come over to look at your hands as well.

"Yup! I am technically an honorary Decepticon. At least, I like to think so." You say with a sweet smile and a flourish of your hands. Starscream lets go of your hand with a little nod, and Breakdown pulls his chair closer to the three cons already surrounding you.

"Maybe next time I'll do your colors, Star." You say with a slight tease in your voice. Your jest causes his wings to flutter in the cutest way possible; Knockout sits straight in an instance at the suggestion of painting your nails the second in command's colors.

"What about my colors? Hmm? I think you'd look divine in red, sweetheart." He says to you in a sultry tone while leaning his helm onto his servo; you giggle at his advance.

"Would you wear my colors squishy?" Breakdown asks innocently, "Of course I would. I would look lovely in your colors, too." You respond with a kind smile to his question, and he smiles in return.

"Whose colors are we wearing?" Your lord's deep voice entered the conversation as he arrived at the scheduled meeting. Everyone's heads turned towards him at his sudden question. Trying to come up with an answer so you didn't cause him to lash out, Soundwave beat everyone to it.

"Painting nails." It was produced in fragmented audio clips of your voice. Megatron let out a slight hum; he motioned his servo for you to come over to him. He sat down at the head of the table, his optics fixed on you. You quickly closed all the nail polish bottles, the vibrant colors reflecting off the metallic surface of the table, and leaped up to jog over to him across the table. You stood before him and presented your hands to him, shyly looking up at him. His servo gently grabs your hands, and he leans forward to look at your nails. He lets out a huff of breath and nods, letting you go. You take that as your cue to return to where you were sitting so he can begin the meeting. When the meeting ended, Megatron told you to stay after and sent everyone else off; Starscream gave you a sympathetic glance as the door closed behind him. He waved you closer to him when you didn't initially move on your own; you quickly trotted over to him and peeked at him.

"The Decepticon colors are Red, Purple, and Black. Your nails have Silver, Black, and Purple on them." You smiled at him and motioned for him to hold you in his large servos; he brought you close to his face plate, and you nuzzled against him with a little giggle.

"They're your colors; I just didn't tell the others to because they're nosey, " you told him while holding his face. He blinked and lowered you closer to his chest plate, where his spark hummed with happiness. You lay your ear against it, closing your eyes, happy to express your love to him in small ways.

[penny00dreadful]

Santa Baby

Word count: 1.2k Rating: G Tags: Christmas fluff, getting together, Modern Setting, Santa Steve @steddieholidaydrabbles Day 25: Christmas

AO3

Let it be known that Eddie had never been one to make good decisions. Or consistent ones.

Which led him here, he guessed. Sitting at his computer at two in the morning, on what was technically Christmas Day now because he had sworn to himself he would go to bed at a reasonable time, he was just going to play a few more minutes of his game.

So when he heard something go bump in the night in the dark of his shitty little apartment, he had probably been a little too overtired and not exactly thinking straight.

He had poked his head out into his living room/dining room/kitchen, a small, tiny space with barely enough room to fit a small Christmas tree, but fit a Christmas tree it did, and the sight that met him had him wondering if he needed a carbon monoxide alarm or if he was just straight up hallucinating.

The colourful lights lit up a gentle glow against thick strong arms dusted with hair and moles, the polo shirt pulling tight against his muscles. Large thighs and an even larger ass wrapped up tight in light wash jeans, a hip popped out as this Adonis before him checked off a clipboard with a slightly bored expression over his face.

The entire vision was topped off with a Santa hat sitting perfectly upon a glorious head of hair, falling gently over his forehead, looking like every dashing leading man in every romantic Christmas movie Eddie had ever seen in his entire life. 

He will blame his tiredness for what fell out of his mouth, almost in a whisper.

“Is it my birthday?”

The guy checking off a clipboard in front of his dinky little Christmas tree glanced up at the sound, completely unsurprised to see Eddie there. Giving him the once over with an appreciative smirk pulling at those tempting full pink lips, taking in the pyjama pants slung low on his hips and his cropped sleep top, the guys eyes trailed back up to Eddie’s face just before he turned back to the task at hand.

The only lasted for a second though, before the guy whipped back around in shock, staring Eddie straight in the eye.

Eddie just raised his hand and gave him a dumbfounded little wave.

The guy blinked at him.

“You can see me?”

Eddie blinked back.

“Am I not supposed to be able to? You’re not exactly the most cat of cat burglars, dude.”

“Cat burglar?” The guy turned fully to him and Eddie was able to see the polo was pulled tight over a strong chest, a thick thatch of hair poking out over the top and his mouth began to water. “I’m not a fucking cat burglar, man I’m-”

The guy hesitated.

“You’re what?” Eddie grinned to himself, unable to stop the smile coming over his face or the step forward he took, remembering the appreciative look the guy gave him. “My own little Christmas present?”

The guy shook his head, his eyes taking in Eddie’s body all over again.

“What then?” Eddie asked. “Christmas elf?” He followed suit, taking in the full, thick muscled form of the guy in front of him shamelessly. “Shouldn’t you be wearing tights?”

“Not an elf, no. More of the big guy.”

“Big guy is right.” Eddie muttered appreciatively. “Wait… what then, like… You’re Santa?”

The guy shrugged, clipboard all but forgotten now, resting in the hand that was propped casually on that popped hip.

“It’s a family business. I’m taking over from my grandfather.”

Eddie nodded, well aware he should be freaking out more for a variety of reasons but not being able to find it within himself to care much as he stepped closer, the guy tracking him with bright eyes.

“Usually people take over from their parents, or so I’m told.”

“Yeah well, my dad never really had the heart for it.”

Eddie hummed to himself, telegraphing his movements in the hope he didn’t startle the man in front of him. He reached a hand out and when the guy didn’t flinch or back away, Eddie brushed his fingers lightly through the coarse hair peeking out over his polo.

“And how about you, sweetheart? Do you have the heart?”

“Steve.”

“Eddie.”

“I know.” Steve gave his clipboard a little shake, the green foiled holly and red berries bordering the pages, glittering against the lights of the tree and he happily let Eddie fondle his chest hair.

“This might be a little forward, Steve,” Eddie grinned again, tightening his fingers into the chest hair. “But I don’t suppose you need a Mrs. Clause tonight?”

Steve smirked back, his eyebrow cocking up. “I already have a Mrs. Clause-”

“Oh.” Eddie’s grin dropped along with his heart, and he pulled his fingers away but he was stopped by Steve’s hand wrapping around his.

“She’s a lesbian, though.”

“Oh?” Eddie could tell his confusion was radiating off of him. This was not like any Christmas story he’d ever heard before.

Steve shrugged.

“There was a clause in the Santa contract. I was told I’d need a Mrs. Clause in order to take up the position. Marrying my best friend seemed like the best option.”

Eddie tightened his fingers around Steve’s while Steve continued to watch him, biting his lip.

“While I would love to take you up on your offer, Eddie,” Steve had a regretful look in his puppy dog eyes. “I’m on the clock right now and ethically I don’t know if it would be a good idea to fool around with you tonight.”

Eddie shrugged to himself, almost accepting this was some kind of insane fever dream and he was going to wake up with the shape of his keyboard indented into his cheek.

“Can’t blame a guy for trying, right?”

Steve opened his mouth to answer, a sad smile dancing on his face but was interrupted by an insistent buzzing and overly cheerful jingle coming from his pocket.

“Shit, I have to go.”

Eddie brought Steve’s hand to his mouth, placing a kiss along the back.

“That’s alright, sweetheart, you go and bring joy to all the little kiddos.”

Steve smiled at him again.

“It was nice meeting you, Eddie.”

Eddie blinked his eyes open, somehow inexplicably bundled up in his own bed, the bright winter morning sunlight nearly blinding him through the crack in his blinds as he rolled over.

That had been one of the weirdest sober dreams he had ever had in his life.

Maybe this dry spell was getting to be too dry if he was dreaming up hot men appearing in his apartment and calling themselves Santa.

Though if it had been a dry spell dream, surely he would have actually gotten to at least kiss Steve rather than just-

Eddie paused as his hand brushed a piece of paper on the side of his bed.

He picked it up, unfolding it and knew his eyes were almost comically wide as he saw the same foiled holly and berries bordering the paper.

The grin that split over Eddie’s face and the disbelieving laugh that tore out of his throat did nothing to stop his own scrambling for his phone to punch in the number as fast as humanly possible.

AO3

As always, my biggest thanks and much love to @hbyrde36 for the beta work with this and to the @strangerthingswritersguild for their motivation!

[patrice-bergerons]

Work is once again super intense this week so unable to make much progress on my actual WIP, I wrote something quick — it technically comes after the current installment of the law au i am working on, so you can consider it a delicious little teaser of sorts.

It's only a tie—there is no point in making it into a bigger deal than it is. A very expensive tie, the understated elegance of which not a single soul with a modicum, nay, the tiniest sliver, of sartorial sense could miss, but it is anyone's guess with Francis, isn't it, because even the lowest bar turns into Mount Everest when it comes to him and fashion.

Besides he may have well been dressed for work already when he opened his front door this morning, in one of his dull insipid suits no doubt, and been too lazy or in too much of a rush to change. James may not run into him at all in the next few minutes. Francis had a hearing in the morning, sure, but the courthouse lobby gets as busy as a beehive during lunch hour, with barristers and solicitors and clerks running about to grab a quick bite before rushing back into afternoon sessions or rushing in from the outside or rushing back out to their chambers and offices. It takes very little to lose someone in a crowd like that. Francis may equally decide to hang back and converse with a work acquaintance he ran into in the hallway and not emerge until after James has left. It is possible. It is fine. James is not here for him. He is here because he is grabbing lunch with someone, who also happened to be in court this morning, and he wanted to make life as convenient for her as possible. Because he is a good friend.

God, he is such a crap friend.

Appalled, he stops himself, closes his eyes, and does his best to take a slow, full breath. He has missed the hubbub of a courthouse, all that noise around him, the indistinct chatter and the clacking of a dozen heels against the hard floor. It is great to finally get out of the flat, to put on a good suit and take on the world, and these…unfortunate thoughts and sensations he is experiencing are the after ripples of trauma, nothing more. He may not have had his head on straight for the last week, in a manner most unfamiliar and unbecoming to himself, but he has also barely been able to get into the shower without triggering a full blown panic attack, so there is that.

Once he almost called Francis actually, to come and sit outside the bathroom door, only stopping himself, grinding his teeth, and getting on with it because he knew Francis would come. And it would be just a tad awkward, wouldn’t it, what with the guy he is currently seeing also presently in his flat. He has not at all considered that he could go and shower in Francis’s flat instead, because that would be, in one word, insane.

He casts his gaze around the space, looking for Marianne and Marianne only, when–

"James?"

James turns around, his breath caught in his throat all of a second like a helpless, small bird.

He is here. He has found James—he always does—he is already making his way towards him, parting an undulating crowd like Moses with the Red Sea as he walks.

He is wearing the tie.

James has seen a bit of him in the past week but not much. Chris, the dear that he is, has been staying over to look after him, and Francis has apparently given up on the one man war of attrition he has been waging against the parliamentary Conservative Party, one MP at a time, for now. Possibly, for good and for good reason.

But there is no recrimination in his eyes or his voice now as he says "don’t tell me you are back at work already." Just a bit of concern and an ocean of affection. Francis is glad to see him and he isn't even trying to hide it, the bastard.

“No, I am only here to meet a friend for lunch.”

James's voice sounds gravelly, distant, to his own ears.

Is it as simple as that? When you realise what a moron you are being buy me another tie in apology—a very expensive one, he had huffed, and James has, but after everything he has put Francis through, after everything Francis has done for him– Francis is such a Labour man at heart he has nationalised forgiveness. James has to suppress a laugh at that thought, which makes him cough instead. Immediately a hand comes to rest on his arm. Gentle, steadfast—like air to him when he could not breathe. Like air to him now.

"I won't overdo it mum, I promise," he replies gallantly, doing his best not to shiver. Then, "how are you? How is your day?"

"Not bad, actually."

The declaration takes Francis by surprise, James can tell—not the words that fall out of his mouth per se, but the truth of it. Neither of them has mentioned the tie. James does not think it is in his imagination only that Francis is standing a little straighter today, charisma oozing from him in every direction. James has been trying to tell him for ages what a difference dressing well makes for one's psyche, only for his plea to fall on deaf ears. Perhaps he has finally seen the light.

"I should say," Francis starts, "thank–" but he is interrupted with the sound of a ringing phone. His phone. Bugger. He takes it out, he glances at the screen, and James knows their time has come to an end before Francis opens his mouth to say, with such a note of apology in his voice,

"I am sorry, I need to take this."

"Yes, of course. I won't keep you." God knows he couldn't if he tried—keep him. Have him. James gestures towards the sliding doors with a brave smile. "My friend should be here any minute, I will catch you back home."

Francis looks at him for another second, with his ridiculously blue eyes, like the Mediterranean on a summer afternoon, serene and beautiful and filled with light, and James wonders what would happen if he said– whoever is not calling is not nearly as important as me. Ignore them and take me to lunch. He doesn't. He may be a bastard but he is not that much of a bastard. Francis nods, answers the phone, and starts to walk again, this time towards and through the doors.

Only once Francis is gone does he stumble to the nearest bench, reaching for the rescue inhaler in his pocket because his traitorous lungs are refusing to let enough air into his body. He closes his eyes and still all he can see are Francis’s eyes, a near perfect match for the colour of the tie, of the pocket square. His hand on James’s arm. His hand wiping James’s tears and reaching for James’s hand. His hand wrapped around–

Oh, this is bad, he thinks, because there is a gaping, bleeding hole where his heart used to be.

He does not get crushes. He does not fall in love; he is not a teenager, thank you very much. Let alone with straight men.

Let alone with Francis Crozier.

He chuckles to himself. You save a man's life and this is your reward apparently. No matter. Marianne will come and find him in a minute. James will greet her then and smile and have lunch. And he will teach himself, perhaps on the cab ride back, to be for once, grateful with what he has been so generously given—and to not ask for more.

[worm-death]

Manga I Started in 2024

I read a lot of manga last year, and a lot of them deserve more attention, so I wanna talk about them. But I'll mention everything, the good and the bad

Claymore

I guess I am technically cheating with this since I started it in very late December of 2023, but the bulk of it was read in January, and I think it'd be a shame not to talk about it anyway. This was given to me as a "Secret Santa present" for MyAnimeList, and I'm really glad I got a seemingly random suggestion

Clare is part of an organization comprised of female fighters with half Yoma blood. The Yoma are beasts that ravage villages, and they're tasked with defeating the Yoma. But as the story goes on, Clare starts to discover the shady underbelly of the organization and life she's always known.

This was the first of what can be considered the fantasy genre for me, so this was a cool setting to explore. The story is mysterious and always kept me on edge. The fight choreography is impressive, and the whole visual style is unique and cool. There aren't many purely good or evil characters, making the manga complex and makes you more invested in each character. Clare and Raki of course, are the duo I always root for. Their older sister-younger-brother dynamic is charming.

Super Psychic Policeman Chojo

This is probably the biggest reason I wanted to make this list because I think this manga deserves a lot more love. I only decided to check it out because the character designs looked cool and flashy. I really like police/detective manga and anime, so this was perfect for me. Mix in psychic powers and silly humor and it's got everything I need.

Chojo is a police officer who's scared away all his work partners with his powers, except for when Ippongi is assigned to him; sometimes, Chojo's more scared of her than she is of him. Each chapter focuses on a new crazy case the two are faced with in the insane district of Chinjuku.

I love ensemble casts, and the manga is constantly adding a new character that leads to a fun story all the time. Chojo is a complete loser and obsessed with his model kits and tokusatsu heroes, which I love about him. The characters are all stupid to a degree, and it's extremely entertaining. The robot, Cop Bot, is probably the only straight man, but there's not a single character in this I consider truly serious. Goofy police antics are great, and I really encourage anyone to check it out. It recently had a cancelation scare, so I think it deserves way more love.

The Ichinose Family's Deadly Sins

I first heard of this manga because Chainsaw Man's mangaka recommended it, but this quickly surpassed Chainsaw Man and became my favorite manga of the year.

The Ichinose family all wake up in the hospital to find out they all have amnesia, and although they don't know each other, they're all able to bond, and they know as long as they have each other, that's all that matters! But after they return home from the hospital, they've all left clues behind to hint at a much sinister past...

This manga seriously is the biggest roller coaster I've ever been on. Since it's short, it doesn't let you breathe for a second, which some people definitely don't like about the constant trauma, but as a psychological thriller fanatic, I was fully engrossed. There are a few stories that make me this emotionally invested, and this was one of them. I recommended this manga to a friend, and they told me they were actually yelling while reading this, it's definitely an emotional ride. The characters are interesting and mysterious, and I'm a massive fan of the art style, and I want to study it more. I will warn you, I'd only recommend this to those who can stand it, it's heavy and deals with a lot of dark subject matter that may not be suited for a lot of people.

Star: Strike it Rich

My friend pestered me for a while to read this, and I wasn't really sure I'd like it. I don't like sports manga of any kind, so it seemed like it wouldn't be for me. But man, I'm glad I checked it out anyway. This manga is INTENSE, fights are crazy and super impactful.

Nozomi Tenma has to give up her dreams of becoming a professional fighter when she severely injures her eye. So, she decides to create her own underground fighting facility with her best friends, a yakuza and a corrupt cop. One of the first fighters they hire is a mysterious and terrifying girl named Hina.

I guess it comes with the territory, but why is fighting manga so insane. Like, I can't even explain to people what's going on with Baki. And this has death cults and women built like actual beasts. It's awesome and insane in all the best ways. The fights feel explosive and impactful, and the underlying story is just as intriguing. It's kind of nice to let loose for once; there aren't many characters you can call "good". They're all vulgar and crazy, and sometimes it's just fun to watch people destroy each other with a bit of grounded fighting logic.

Witch Hat Atelier

This one probably doesn't need any introduction since it's about to get an anime adaptation, but that just gives me all the more reason to push people to check this manga out before it releases.

Coco has always wanted to learn how to do magic, but that's kept secret from anyone not born into a family of witches. But after she discretely catches a glimpse at how spells are cast, she unknowingly endangers her mother's life and now must be apprenticed to a witch in order to save her.

This manga's entire vibe and visual style feel straight out of a fairy tale children's book, so it stands out with a strong sense of nostalgia. The world is beautifully crafted and feels like one of the most lived-in worlds I've had the treat to experience. At the end of every volume, it details the different creatures, herbs, locations, different kinds of witch hats, etc. Every aspect is thought out carefully. The characters are all great and leave me warm as you see Coco's bond with her teacher and fellow apprentices. There's a certain magical connection you can easily form with the story and characters because of how in-depth the world is, you don't have to passively watch the characters go through experiences, you can come up with your own solutions to these witchy problems because the rules and casting system are explained well enough. So, this manga really sends you directly into the story, certainly something everyone should experience.

Ghost Fixers

By the same mangaka as Summertime Rendering, I was excited to see another work by him. It's pretty much just SCP Foundation: the manga, which is pretty awesome.

Hifumin has recently been made a Ghost Fixer and is partnered with Kirarazaka. Together, the are tasked with fixing the messes paranormal phenomena cause in Mikurigaoka.

It's hard to give this one much summary outside of that. There's been a lot of world-building to separate this world's versions of ghosts from the typical definition. As I said, it's more of an SCP-type thing, where it's not so much about busting ghouls but more like finding the source of strange and dangerous phenomena. The manga already has a lot of lore established and too many new terms to talk about in-depth here. The stakes keep escalating with each new case, and more of the story is unraveling, I'd highly encourage checking it out.

Gift of Poison

This is the only outright bad manga I read all year, and it's really bad...

After Gift steals paint from a friend, his classmate, Kadomi, records it and sends him further into despair, blackmailing him into doing worse and worse things.

And that's the basic premise, it's not all too exciting. I started reading this manga the day the first chapter dropped, so I kept expecting Gift to snap and do something crazy. this is where the plot would really get going, but it just doesn't. Kadomi is a loser who blackmails Gifts to steal from a local art store, asks out his crush, but then kisses Kadomi in front of her, stuff like that. It's pretty petty. Eventually, Gift's friends ask him why he's always acting so weird, and he confesses to only stealing from the art store. And they have his back entirely, so what's the big deal? Well, fast forward a bit, and he eventually confesses to having stolen his friend's paints as well. And now they've been sent into a fit of rage. Taima's been betrayed, and his girlfriend Kokomi thought they would never hide secrets from each other. It's basically just petty drama only teenagers would get so emotionally invested in. As an artist, I simply cannot understand why the reactions. I get it; art supplies are expensive; if my friend needed to borrow a little bit of something from me, I'd understand. I wouldn't punch my best friend. And the cherry on top of this whole stupid fiasco is the manga ends with a "HE SAID IT! HE SAID THE THING!!" moment where they say, "I was the gift of poison." Something like that, anyway, it's very stupid.

Some people argued with me on my stance on this manga, saying that these characters have some sort of mental problem, but that's never something mentioned in the manga or really even alluded to. The characters just seem petty, and either way, it's just a bad story because there's basically no payoff. I don't think poor writing should be excused with headcanons. The only lore we get into why Gift seems so unhinged is that his parents divorced, and for Kadomi, her supposed friends stole a sticker from her that meant a lot to her as a kid. As a child of divorced parents, I can confirm that it would not bring someone to the point of murder.,,

And one thing this manga has received some praise for is the art, but it's also not good? I think the color spreads look cool, but the panels themselves are rouuuugh. I swear a lot of these look like the mangaka just used 3d model bases and traced over them and slapped hair and clothes on them. A lot of the posing looks really stiff and awkward, and again, hair and clothes look thrown on at the last second. It's just not good at all.

Centuria

Another one I just decided to check out since I saw its first chapter release. But the art style is very unique and it's already paid off in the story.

Julian is a boy sold into slavery after his mother abandons him. He's able to form a found family with a woman who wants to be his new mother but also feels comforted by the other enslaved people on a ship. However, the crewmates go on a killing massacre, killing most of the slaves, but a god of the ocean disrupts the voyage and kills everyone except for the woman and Julian, one must sacrifice themselves in order for the other to survive, the woman, Mira, gives birth and then sacrifices herself, asking Julian to promise to take care of her. When she sacrifices herself, Julian is given the powers of the sea and the strength of the hundred slaves that were killed that day. Julian promises to live his life to the fullest for not only his sake but for his new baby sister, Diana, and the lives of all the other slaves.

Sometimes, I forget this manga is only 38 chapters so far because I feel like I've seen the characters struggle through so much. With how awful Julian's situation has been and still is, it's hard not to have an immediate connection with him. This has a similar vibe to Claymore in some ways, so I've been really enjoying myself with it so far. I really like the art style, I've never seen anything like it. And I'm honestly glad this series doesn't have any color spreads, it looks way better in black and white, it just speaks really well to the overall style. I think this manga has a large story to tell, and we'll see these characters go through a lot throughout their lives. It's too early to say a whole lot about this manga, but I think it's been great so far and has a promising future.

Yokai Buster Murakami

This was a genuine shame it got canceled so early, I really enjoyed this manga a lot for only ending up being 24 chapters. I love yokai, and that's all it needed to sell me.

Kuin is a low-level yokai hunter who's too afraid of the yokai to even do his job, but his friend Murakami logics his way out of any situation and can defeat any yokai on a battle of wits.

This is one of the few comedy manga I found really funny. It was fun seeing these ancient monsters have 21st-century logic applied to them. But it's certainly an acquired taste, this manga never got enough readership to stay afloat, unfortunately. There were definitely a lot of directions this manga wanted to go and a lot of characters that were waiting to get more development. But I'm still glad I got to experience it at all, and I hope to hear more from Daiki Ihara in future manga stories.

Magus of the Library

Theo has been bullied his whole life for his looks, and after some librarians come to town, he decides from then on he'll work hard to become a librarian and work in the Central Library, the biggest library in the world with the biggest collection of books.

A really sweet and refreshing story into fantasy with a real love for books. The manga handles a lot of real-world topics with so much dignity and honesty that it's a real treat. Racism, classism, and the erasure of history are all major conflicts within the manga, and we see the pretty grim world in which Theo lives. But what I love is this manga shows the unity of a simple love for books that brings people together. It embraces differences of all sorts and shows how everyone has value and how we'd never know other perspectives if we didn't give everyone the chance to shine. Theo has the ability to form such great connections with all sorts of people, and I really do love the light he shines on everyone. As a massive book fan myself, there's a lot I can appreciate in a passion for books.

Similar to Witch Hat Atelier, it has a vibrant fantasy setting with so much thought and care put into each of the main races, their culture, religions, regions, languages, and everything. Another world so well crafted that it feels like you're truly exploring a new world as Theo does.

Smother Me

Akio is given away to an assassin and is raised and trained to become one of Detroit's best killers, but after meeting a blind woman who shows him kindness, he suddenly feels the desire to put an end to the crime bosses ruling the city.

This was a surprisingly short read since it just ended today, a total of 15 chapters. Unfortunately, because of its incredibly short run, I didn't get a whole lot of time to attach myself to anything. It was definitely enjoyable, and the characters had a lot of intrigue, but it could have used a bit more fleshing out. Anyway, what originally drew me to the manga was the visual style of it. The color spreads look beautiful and trippy, and the art of the actual manga is just as unique. It goes for a sort of ink brush-type look with its lines, so it's a cool manga to look at. It's not a bad story, and you can get through the entire thing super quickly, so why not check it out?

Yattara

Now we're really getting into new, new manga territory so it'll be harder to talk about these. This one, as of writing this, only has 8 chapters out.

Yattara is a demon or monster-like creature who only wants to eat humans but decides it decides to treat itself. Children already have a better taste, but once it forms a connection with 3 kids, it realizes that the more it can form a connection, the better the taste. However, Yattara doesn't talk, so the 3 children don't know its motive, and the oldest sister, Setomi, and youngest brother, Yuma, see it as a savior. While the middle brother, Nanato, is very wary.

There are a lot of places I think this manga plans to go, and after the most recent chapter, I think it's going in another direction as well. The manga makes a lot of commentary about the hypocritical world of immigration politics, and we get to see this through the perspective of three immigrant children on the brink of death. The manga has mainly been confined to an apartment, but there's a lot I think the story wants to say. And Yattara has certainly formed a strange relationship with the kids, I still hope deep down it learns to love them instead of just wanting to eat them, but we shall have to wait and see!!

Bug Ego

Well, this one kind of speaks for itself; it was written by One; how can I not read this? But I can't believe I was sad that One wasn't the artist as well, because Kiyoto Shitara is an amazing artist able to convey the most viseral of emotions.

Kokudou introduces his friend, Hitsujiya, to the world of hacking in the real world. By performing a certain set of rituals, one can make anything happen. Getting to write your own dreams, grow taller, you name it. But while Kokudou has perfected these, Hitsujiya manages to mess it up in some way, leading him to some of the most terrifying fates.

One's never written anything this dark before and I'm all here for it. And it still sprinkles in that distinctly One sense of humor. The manga updates monthly, but it's worth the wait. Each chapter goes through an entire story, which would all be appropriate episode length. These hacks are fun but can always be twisted in the worst ways possible. It makes you feel bad for Hitsujiya, but these are the risks he takes if he wants to try these hacks. The unsettling stuff always hits you when you least expect it. Oh, cool, they're having a fun dream together, and then it's just "ah sweet, man-made horrors beyond my comprehension" type moments. It gives you whiplash in the most fun way possible; it's a wild ride I encourage people to read if you like a bit of comedy sprinkled into your existential dread.

Ryouta Killed His Brother

Man, I realize these are getting really dark, but that's the kinda stuff I like, lol. Another really recent one, so it's hard to say too much, but I'm very interested to see where it heads.

Hayato realizes his best friend, Ryouta, has progressively looked unwell and tries to look into it. Ryouta has to take care of his little brother since his mom died giving birth to him, but it's not so simple. Chi is harming him. Ryouta has killed him so many times to stop the torture, but no matter what he does, he always comes back, seemingly unaware anything even happened.

I wonder where this is planning to go. It subverted me after the 2nd chapter so I always look forward to where it's headed. I was almost worried it would fall into showing a terrifying death or Chi is a monster visual in each chapter, but the story is progressing, and I need to cut it a little slack since it's only 4 chapters in so far. But I'm interested and would say it's worth checking out, too.

Asura's Verdict

Asura's mother always told him that those who do bad deeds will always receive divine punishment, but he quickly realizes his problems can't just be wished away. A mysterious old man hands him a key that, when placed into someone's head, will send that person directly to Hell. So, Asura takes it upon himself to punish those that deserve it.

This manga gripped me instantly, I think the character designs are really good, and there's something very cute yet extremely unnerving about Asura's face and his perpetual smile. One complaint this manga has received so far is that all the bad guys over the top evil people. It makes it easy for Asura to make these decisions, but I'm hoping this is just in the beginning and Asura will come across more moral dilemmas in the future. But it is very satisfying to see awful people get what they asked for. The manga has been compared to Death Note, but I like this approach more. Asura is a naive kid who wants the world to be happy, he doesn't have a god complex (not yet anyway) and doesn't have higher ambitions, he just hates to see the people around him get bullied. But this manga seems a lot more interesting. Asura meets several kids on hard times and we can sympathize with them more. Plus, Asura can't sit there in the comfort of his own room writing names down on a notebook, he has to put himself in danger in order to stick the key in people's heads. Anyway, I like where this manga's going, and it recently got endorsed by Hirohiko Araki, so take his word for it.

Hirayasumi

Last but certainly not least, I started reading Hirayasumi last month for the latest MAL Secret Santa, and I was gifted another amazing manga.

Hirayasumi follows the daily lives of many people going through their ups and downs. Hiroto works part-time and spends the rest of his days doing what he enjoys, while his cousin Natsumi frets over debuting as a mangaka while attending art school. But there are a lot of other characters like the clumsy yet dedicated Yomogi and stressed new dad Hideki.

There are a lot more characters, but I won't get into that here. At some point, if a character gets introduced, you'll learn about them, which is nice. While Hiroto would probably be called the main character, there really aren't any. Everyone has their own equally stressful problems, and they can only bring themselves up with the help of everyone around them. It's a really sweet manga. I asked for an iyashikei manga, and it was more than delivered for me. The art style is really simple and welcoming, and all the characters are relatable in some way. For me, that would especially be Natsumi. As an art student myself fretting about a future career in the industry, there's a lot that whirls around my head, so I get Natsumi on a very personal level. And I even look like her too lol. But then there are many times when I relate to characters like Yomogi or Hiroto. There's a lot here for anyone to enjoy, and I think anyone should read this manga because I think it adds just a little bit of comfort to our daily stresses.

Misc Mentions

Alongside everything else I've started I've been continuing to read Jojo's Bizarre Adventure and this year I completed Parts 3, 4, and 5 and started 6, it's on the back burning till I catch up to Hirayasumi. I don't really feel like I need to make an entry for these though since it's y'know Jojo.

Only in 2024 did I start One Piece. I'm caught up with the anime but I'm extremely late to the manga party. And again, since it's literally One Piece, it needs no promotion.

There were a couple of new manga I tried out but decided not to keep following after the first chapter.

The Urban Legend Files: I was still coming off my Yokai Buster Murakami depression and so I really didn't have it in me to start a fairly similar premise. And it didn't hook me nearly as much so I just decided I didn't need want to read it. I've been open to checking it out again, maybe if I hear more good things about it, but as it stands, I'm not very interested.

Syd Craft: Love is a Mystery: The art style looked cute and one of my absolute favorite genres is mystery. However, romance is not. I think this would appeal to a lot of people. And if romance wasn't extremely integral to the plot, I'd probably enjoy it more since it seems like something a Detective Conan fan would be all over. This one simply isn't for me, but I think plenty of people could enjoy it.

Drama Queen: This immediately got hit by controversy because of the awful protagonist, and I have to say I'm in that camp. She's written to be awful, sure, but I draw the line at not respecting pronouns. In one of the first pages, she gets mad because someone refers to their partner as their partner instead of boyfriend or girlfriend. This draws the line for me between likably bad and just bad. I also felt like the politics of it are a bit morally grey. Some say it's more of a critique of imperialism, while others say it's anti-immigration. I have a feeling, or at least I'd like to think it's more about imperialism, but you never know. Anyway, this manga just made me feel icky and I dropped it real quickly.

Anyway, that's it. I just thought I'd spread the word on all the cool manga I read this year and hopefully get some much deserved eyes on these titles. I'd like to make this an annual thing even if no one else cares lol.

[scarecrowofthefields]

sotf surveys - Naruto: Ninja Clash in the Land of Snow

Yo, welcome to a series about my reactions to the Naruto movies and OVAs. Today we will be reviewing Naruto: Ninja Clash in the Land of Snow (legit thought about doing this right after I finished the movie while having dinner lol)

I had previously watched Naruto Movie 1 when I was younger so this was more of a refresher to me. I remember a few major details but the rest were cloudy so I had a few surprises which was exciting, this is the benefit of rewatching something you've seen ages ago and become encapsulated with it all over again. Let's get into it:

OH MAN, you can definitely tell this was movie quality animation. I did not notice how well it was animated when I was younger, they really used up the budget well. Animated shows like to cut corners when it comes to animating to save both time and money which can make the animation feel stale. BUT THIS OUGH, you can see the overshoots and the anticipation in the characters' movements which adds more to their personality, specifically Naruto and Sakura who are outwardly expressive.

SPEAKING OF EXPRESSIONS

FINALLY I KNOW THE CONTEXT OF THIS IMAGE, I've seen it around before but wasn't sure where it was from.

An example of animation that display's Sakura's personality is in a scene 11 minutes into the movie where Team 7 (minus Naruto) gets a debrief on their mission with the film team.

Just for those 7 seconds we see how interested and excited Sakura is being in a movie studio. If it were set on the show I feel like she would only look over her shoulder and that would be it. In movie form we get a bit extra, not just looking over her should but she's innocently rocking back and forth. In addition, we have some background characters moving around which makes the space feel alive.

Another thing to note is the fluid motion of a character or scene being carried over from one frame to the next also the physical weight of their actions.

My favorite example of this is Yukie getting drunk in a small bar, you can see in both her and the other patron are clearly drunk and it's not because of the sake present. Yukie would slosh around, jerk forward suddenly, and have a heavy hand. When Sandayuu and Sakura burst in you can see the weight of their movements as well.

I'm also a sucker for sound quality and the use of foley sounds in movies ever since I learned about it in school. The sounds in Naruto Movie 1 are DELICIOUS. I'm fortunate to have access to a surround sound software also the website I'm using to watch the movie still contains the original sound file so, audibly, it feels like I am in a physical movie theater.

Interestingly, noticed a few scenes used dolly zoom. Not much to comment about it, very neutral about it.

Ma ma, enough with the technicalities, let's get into the plot-

"I guess it can't be helped." KAKASHI!?!? STRAIGHT UP WHIPS OUT THE SHARINGAN JUST TO PUT YUKIE UNDER A GENJUTSU. LIKE I GET IT, GOTTA MOVE HER ALONG NO SENSE IN BICKERING, BUT LMAO

Baby Koyuki and her father :(( the whole dream/flashback was adorable, even if it was short-lived.

Time to be a little Kakashi-biased, mainly the voice acting teehee. I'd like to note that I'm watching this in sub so Kazuhiko Inoue I am all ears. This is the scene where the filming gets interrupted by the villains, Kakashi springs into action, with a quick and commanding voice directs Team 7 to protect the now revealed princess, Koyuki.

If only y'all can hear this gif

Not the villains boasting about their literal plot armor to our protagonists.

Good job Sakura on doing what you're suppose to be doing! Protecting Koyuki-sama. Naruto ran straight towards one of the antagonists, though to be fair Sasuke was defending himself against the female antagonist. For theatrics sake makes sense, you gotta have a fight scene yknow.

I need to remember the movies aren't canon- Kakashi copying Ice-Style? Not possible since it's known as a kekki genkai, though for the sake of the plot and theatrics Kakashi's allowed to use Ice-Style lol.

ANBU KAKASHI SPOTTED IN FLASHBACK

"I, Sandayuu, will protect you with my life!" My pattern recognition senses are tingling...

Gonna dip back into some technicals again for a moment:

One of my favorite tropes in shows and movies is the involvement of the behind the scenes team present on stage, regardless if it's the camera crew, the animation crew, the production crew, etc. It's a funny gag, letting the audience know how hard these people work to produce their shows and movies. In Naruto: Ninja Clash in the Land of Snow is no different where they show the type of work they put in setting up the scene with backdrops and props, ensuring the actors are in costume and make-up, and the final touch is the lights, mic, and camera are a go before calling action. The movie takes it a step further and shows us how far the director is willing to go to produce the final chapter of their movie series, it's also a chance of a lifetime.

I WAS RIGHT- BUT HOLY FUCK WAS THAT OVERKILL. RIP Sandayuu

I love the initial exchange in dialogue between Koyuki and Naruto during the prison scene,

"Well deserved." "You too."

MORE BABY KOYUKI AND HER DAD FLASHBACK

"Everyone seems to forget, I'm an actress." Ngl, thought Koyuki was under a genjutsu at first, then she double played me by stabbing Dotou. She really is an actress, go off girl

Sakura and Sasuke showing off their clever battle tactics??? A really impressive scene with their skills as shinobi; using their environment to their advantage, great use of ninja tools, great use of taijutsu too, and lastly they figured out how to destroy the chakra armor.

"Even if ninjutsu and genjutsu don't work on you, a shinobi still has taijutsu." The essential Shinobi Battle Skills!!!

A common trend with the first movie and the following Naruto movies, the main villain is always defeated with a rasengan variant, with Naruto: Ninja Clash in the Land of Snow it's a 7 color chakra rasengan, or "rainbow rasengan". I find the variants really cool, though the trend to be silly /pos

baby Koyuki and her father memory? NO, baby Koyuki and her father projection!!! Legit thought she was having another flashback.

MY MAN KAKASHI JUST FOUND OUT ICHA ICHA PARADISE IS GETTING A MOVIE ADAPTION AND KOYUKI IS STARRING IN IT

Like any marvel movie, if you stick around until the very end the animation crew shows their gratitude towards the audience by thanking them which I really like especially since this is the first Naruto movie so they worked really hard on this and I appreciate their efforts.

[recurring-polynya]

For the fic meme! :D <3

5. Quote one of your fics out of context (I feel like this one’s hard, because how does one make a decision about it?? But I’d love to hear what the first quote was that sprung to mind, regardless of whether it’s one you’d have chosen. Tho you’re welcome to choose one, too!)

7. Share the first line of your five most recently published fics

16. What is one of your favorite words or phrases to use in writing?

19. What headcanon do you always include in your stories?

5. A quote without context. I didn't actually want to say the first thing that popped into my mind--I do a fair amount of these memes, so I've had to answer what is my best line/fave line/etc before and naturally those were the ones that floated to the surface. Instead, I tried to just let my mind drift over various stories I had written to see if some particular thing would pop out, and here's what I got:

“I’m not a poet

I can't tell you fancy lies

I’m just a soldier

But there is one thing I know

That girl will run you straight through”

[the context, because I think it would be nearly impossible to find unless you recognize it, which I hope most people who read that fic would]

7. First lines. From most newest to older-est, presented without titles for funsies.

"Why are you asking me?" Rukia frowns. "Renji is a perfectly adequate liar.

"Hinamori," said Renji, "I am not actually going to become an adjunct fighting arts teacher."

"Renji. Renji, wake up. We need to tell you something. Renji. It is the afternoon, Renji, why are you sleeping?"

Unohana Retsu looked on, gently, but attentively, as her Fifth Seat poured her a cup of tea.

"So, the thing about a month-long deployment," said Sixth-Seat Kotetsu, "is that you will not need to be on high alert twenty-four hours a day."

3 and 4 are technically two parts of the same...concept? It's not actually a real fanfic. Anyway, as a bonus, there's the first line from my last big fanfic:

“I don’t know if they’re trying to capitalize on Boy’s Day, or what,” Rukia said, idly inching her hand toward the plate of hot, steaming gyoza sitting on the countertop next to Renji’s stove, “but they’re having some sort of Seafood Festival out in East Sixth.”

I just love a dialogue cold open, I guess????

16. Current favorite phrase. This summer, I feel deeply in love with the writing of Ann Leckie, like, I think she might be my favorite author now. A phrase that Ann Leckie characters use all the time is to respond "Just so," to something they agree with. It's just a great phrase because I feel like you have to have some level of self-confidence, of bearing to go around saying shit like this. It's like "Yes, I am glad you see the truth of this thing that I, obviously, already knew." I am do not feel remotely capable of writing Imperial Radch fanfic, but I do feel capable of making certain Gotei captains say "just so" and now I do. So if you see one of those in my writing, that is me in my Ann Leckie era.

19. Headcanon I always include. "Rukia" is a name that Rukia gave to herself. I don't see any reason that she would know what the name she died under. She was a baby. Name magic is one of my very favorite themes in writing, and this is a very important part of the magic of Rukia's character, to me. I will never, ever say what her original name was, even though Byakuya knows what it is because Hisana told him. It doesn't matter. Rukia is her real name. (Is this why Hisana could never find her...? Perhaps)

(fanfic writer ask game)

[riddles-n-games]

I find it ludicrous that people are calling Avery and the Hawthorne brothers the "evil" game masters . I fear people have lost the plot , none of these people were forced into the game they were invited but could've declined . They're free to leave any time they want .

Also do people just expect them to just easily give away the 10 million dollars . Multiple of the games players are actually nasty people ( cough *Rohan , Knox,Brady,and maybe Savannah* cough)

So true. I don't think I really saw/paid attention to the fact people were calling them "evil" game masters, was that more present on other sites? In fact, my question is more so why did Avery bother inviting people that are already in good positions? Lyra, had she known about her, would have made PERFECT sense because she sees herself in her. That was clear from their first interaction.

Part of what I see in that while the players can leave at any time, I think it's they get too caught up in the game that they forget the technicalities that are introduced. That is a problem many readers may face with reading a game that has so many twists and turns that you kind of forget other logic unless you have gotten past that with experience from the first books.

And to your last point, I guess they do! Which would obviously make no sense because then what IS the point of the Grandest Game if not to be a challenge that determines the winner? The characters from TIG may have been spoiled but there was still constant reminders that they are human too and no where near perfect. Some of these characters here just straight up put a bad taste in my mouth and hence why I am not continuing with TGG.

[orionsangel86]

Who do you think is better suited for dating Morpheus: Johanna or Hob?

Lol controversial ask! Jokes. I am guessing this came off the back of my response to the Calliope post the other week where I mentioned that I am loosely a Dreamling shipper but lean more towards Morphanna currently. I guess I need to specify that it very much depends on my mood because I am a Sandman multishipper at heart but feel different ships serve different purposes regarding Dream. I struggle to stretch them beyond the purposes I have set aside for them. Also it's Dreamling week and so one look at my blog would definitely give the assumption that I am a huge Dreamling shipper but that isn't actually the case. What I am is a Morpheus stan and everything else is peripheral to my focus on him and his story.

But sure lets dig into this. Honest answer? Neither because Morpheus is terrible and his track record alone is enough proof that he should never date anyone ever.

(jokes)

If we want to be sticklers for comic canon here, neither is suited because there are particular blockers in place for both ships.

For Morphanna the blocker is the rule that states that an Endless can not love a mortal. We have the Nada situation to show us what happens when they do. (Sun gets big mad and throws fireballs at the Earth)

For Dreamling the blocker is less carved into stone but its still gonna be a biggy for certain readers/audiences, being that Morpheus is not gay/bi/pan/queer whatever you wanna call him. For all intents and purposes in comic canon he's as straight as a ruler. However whilst we only ever see Morpheus's lovers as powerful, confident, beautiful female presenting immortal beings, we can throw in the tried and true argument we can apply to all of Neil Gaiman's non human beings which is that since he is not a human cis male, he technically can't be straight and since he has multiple forms and is as old as the universe itself, attraction is probably a very different thing to Morpheus than it is to any of us. It's entirely plausible that he could fall in love with a man shaped being (I actually have a meta in progress about Morpheus' potential queerness - sure it may ruffle some feathers but since I do this for fun and not to please anyone but myself I don't give a damn and will post it one day).

Anyway, that said the show could easily do away with both these blockers. We haven't had Nada's tale yet so whats to say the Endless are forbidden from loving mortals in the show universe? Nothing. The show could also easily confirm Dream has had past male presenting lovers (my money would be on Oberon in a threeway situation with Titania - or Pharamond if he shows up.)

So putting those elements aside, who is better suited to Morpheus?

In Johanna's corner we have the following;

She generally fits the archetype of past lovers and therefore could be considered Morpheus's "type" - beautiful, confident, argumentative, not phased by his status, not submissive to him, puts him in his place (listen we all know Morpheus has a submissive kink its practically carved into comic text lol).

Well versed with his "world" and supernatural creatures and can hold her own against them - being a Constantine has its benefits.

She cares - underneath her tough exterior its clear she has a good heart. She was able to bring him down to Earth, to give a human perspective that he needed at that point.

Flawed characters - Johanna considers herself a bad person and compares herself to Roderick Burgess. But Dream is quick to dismiss this. The truth is that Johanna may be messy and a bit of a disaster, but she is very selfless and good at her core. This could be a good thing as it could help Dream to see the good in humanity that he has been missing. Its clear she already helped with this in the show, but going forward, a relationship between them could help even further accelerate his change and make him a better being.

She encouraged the development of his relationship with Matthew. Something else he needed which she saw before he did. Basically she's smart enough to figure out what he needs, and when to press the issue or not. (she dropped the topic of his imprisonment as soon as he deflected to her photo).

She understands heartbreak and messy relationships - I think Johanna would be well suited to Morpheus because she is just as broken as he is, with almost as messy a relationship history. They have common ground there.

"It never ends well does it?" "What? Love?" She's realistic about relationships, which Morpheus - being Dream - needs. She can ground him, at least for a little while.

Johanna is also a powerful ally to have on side, it makes for excellent storytelling to bring her into the narrative regarding Lucifer and the stories revolving around Hell. She's competent, highly skilled, and I think he finds her impressive.

For Hob consider the following:

Friends first - for someone with such a terrible track record of past lovers, finding love in a friend is something Morpheus doesn't appear to have tried before, and this could be exactly what he needs. Dream and Hob have a shared history over 6 centuries, and those are strong foundations to build a relationship on, especially since they've already basically been through the big break up fight and heartbreak and are already in the rekindling phase.

Stories for the storyteller - the beauty of Hob's role is that he is Dream's respite from his world. The visits with Hob are the one time the Prince of Stories gets to sit and listen to stories himself. There must be peace in that, and we all know Dream desperately seeks peace.

Blind Devotion - Hob is patient, and he will wait for Dream. One thing that I think a lot of Morpheus's past lovers had in common is that they struggled to stick out the periods of time when he would throw himself into his work and basically forget about them. The relationships fizzled out after the honeymoon phase because Dream couldn't sustain that, even though once you have his love you have it forever. With Hob that wouldn't be an issue. He is the man who waited. Who never gave up hope that Dream would return even after he was stood up, and when he did return, Hob smiled and joked. It was all okay. Morpheus needs a relationship with that level of chill.

Flawed characters - Unlike Johanna, I think its safe to say that Hob is a very flawed character. He is selfish, greedy, self centered and ignorant to a lot of what takes place around him. Whilst he does grow and improve over time, his flaws are still a huge part of his character. Morpheus is also very far from perfect and it is this that makes them so well suited. There is almost an equal footing there. Hob could potentially see Morpheus's POV when it comes to the grander schemes, but at the same time, it is clear from their journey together in the show that they have a tendency to make each other better.

Grieving fathers - now this is an important one and its something I feel the comic failed to see the potential of. A huge part of the Sandman story is Morpheus struggling to come to terms with his grief over his son. Grief is a central theme. Of all the characters in the comic who Morpheus comes to meet, Hob is one of maybe two that share that experience - being a father whose son died too soon. I think the other character in comic who suffers this same grief is Shakespeare, which is an interesting parallel and one worth exploring. The show adds Roderick Burgess into the equation - making a fathers grief for his dead son the trigger for Dream's own imprisonment. The show emphasises the theme of grief far beyond the comic, which is definitely worth further exploration in a separate meta. The point is that Hob sits in this very small circle of characters who have shared Dream's experience. Hob is therefore in a prime position to help Dream where they can grow and learn to heal together.

Whilst he doesn't fit the archetype for Dream's past lovers, the differences Hob provides could prove to be just what Dream needs. He is still a handsome man (and God knows Dream gave him bedroom eyes in 1789) and he still ticks certain boxes regarding dominance, confidence, and an ability to hold his own in a fight. "You need not have come to my defence" suuuuure Dream but you did enjoy it nevertheless! Therefore attraction isn't an issue.

Conclusion?

Both Johanna and Hob tick certain boxes to meet the requirements for "love interest" and could easily be positioned that way for Dream. When I really dig down into it I think it depends on what fans are looking for in a Dream ship as to which character is best suited.

I love Morphanna for how messy it is. Yes, Johanna cares and has a good moral centre, but placing her into a certain role within the bounds of the canon story could actually be bad for Dream going forward. I see it as a dramatic relationship. It would be passionate, fiery, dramatic, chaotic, and will end in heartbreak.

I say this because ultimately Johanna doesn't do commitment. This is a clearly defined character trait in the show. Commitment is something she struggles with. Whereas Morpheus is all about commitment. He doesn't appear to do anything BUT commit to people and comes on extremely strong. I love exploring this dynamic between them. I think it would work brilliantly as a canon ship and I am still resolutely behind the idea that Johanna should replace Thessaly in canon and be the trigger for the rainsoaked Dreaming and the Brief Lives disaster trip.

So whilst I 100% ship Morphanna, I think I only ship it on a temporary basis. I struggle to imagine a future where they can have a happy ending and be together long term. Instead I see an ending where after all is said and done, Johanna stands and tells her story at the Wake, and mourns the creature she loved, and has to go on struggling to understand her role in his downfall. If we are seeking an alternative ending where Morpheus lives, I still struggle to see him settling down with Johanna as she is a mortal and I cannot imagine her ever choosing immortality or giving up her job as someone who saves people from the supernatural. She will never be Morpheus's queen. It just doesn't suit her character.

When it comes to Hob, as much as it sometimes irks me to admit it, he is very well suited for Morpheus even in an endgame/alternative happy ending way. Foundations based in centuries of growing friendship, his patience and ability to wait for Morpheus to get his head out of his ass, his being unphased at practically all the weirdness and oddities that Dream's world brings with it. The fact is, Hob is Dream's best friend. This is something that Dream needs so much more than a lover. Not only that but he is a friend who has shared history, shared grief, shared pain, blind devotion, and he is immortal. Hob will stay by Dream's side forever if he has the chance. So long as he still gets to live. Whether you see it as purely platonic, queer platonic, non sexual romantic, or fully romantic and sexual, they are in it for the long term.

Whereas Morphanna for me is a quick burning fiery passionate love affair that ends in tears and A LOT of rain, Dreamling is a very slow burn. I struggle with canon based fics that have them falling into bed shortly after the 2022 reunion because it feels out of character to me. If Dreamling were to happen, it would need to take practically the entire comic run story to get to that point. Hob's devotion to Dream is clear, but his awareness of its romantic potential is not yet there. I always return to Hob's dream in Sunday Mourning when I think of Dreamling, because for me, that is where a relationship between them would actually start, rather than end. Because I think it would take a huge event like Morpheus's actual death for them to pull their heads out of their asses and get together. Because you see even with all the arguments and debates and highly emotional opinions thrown around, I still feel deep down like Sunday Mourning is telling us that Morpheus escaped. He got out the narrative and is free from his cage, and now he's set for his own adventure off in the stars. The only person I can realistically imagine him taking with him is Hob Gadling.

At the end of the day these are my opinions. I want canon Morphanna, I just want it to end with a horrible messy break up because I want that drama. I am unsure if I want Dreamling in canon, but I do hope that if the show ends similarly to the comic, that we will get those scenes in Sunday Mourning and have them be extremely emotionally charged - if ever there is a Dreamling love confession, that is where it belongs. I can only really analyse my opinions on these ships based on canon but I am aware that fandom is a big sandbox and people can do what they want always with these characters. Please don't ever let my opinions deter you from shipping them to your hearts content in any way you feel like.

So I guess the TL:DR is that they are both suited in different ways. Morphanna is a mid story passionate love affair that I adore and want to end in disaster. Dreamling is an endgame slow burn friends to lovers that has the potential to go long term.

I love them both for their specific purposes, believe they both are suited for those purposes, but never the other way around. I hope this satisfies your question! :)

[balrogballs]

WIP question: is there a piece that you've abandoned that you wish you could finish?

Eep, so so sorry this one drowned in the inbox! Not counting a longish Cel piece I took down and am keen to rewrite, there is actually something I started last winter but never got around to finishing…

it was a long oneshot, an alt take on the “bitter parting on the hills of Edoras” thing, except in this one, Elrond takes Arwen and Aragorn to the ice-cliffs bordering Edoras (like ithe mountains in the Rohirrim movie) and the three of them attempt to climb this very specific and very high peak that hasn’t been climbed before, symbolising the very fucking unique relationship between the three of them.

IIRC, my intention there was to fix-it my main pet peeve with movie Elrond. Because I did actually really enjoy how he was rather miserable, I didn’t even mind his men are weak schtick because whatever, he’s a grumpy old man, and I am genuinely glad they explored the tragedy of him and Arwen… but I hated how that came at the cost of him frankly being straight up hostile to Aragorn in parts.

I am never normally too tied to hyper canon-compliance, especially with Tolkien, but it just seemed odd to the point of ridiculous, especially as the books are quite clear that Elrond loved Aragorn as a son and vice versa… yet in the films he is only ever pissed off at him, to the point he withheld the fucking sword that could save the world he’s been wanting to save for six thousand years until his daughter quite literally said “guess I’ll die then”. Just annoyed me!

So this was my curative — and I am a freak who adores alpine climbing so it’s Very Balls in the natural imagery sense and also weirdly technically accurate on the climbing front too… I made up a bunch of fun wildlife and the three of them just have a great time (and Elrond gets to micromanage everything which is basically crack for him) but also process things, and A&A give their father a joint present. Under the cut is a snippet from the part I had written up!

tbh i might actually write it up sometime next month if people would enjoy this kind of weird adventure/drama mashup

[zeroseuniverse]

WayV members dealing with their smartass partner

Kun – The Sighing Leader

Kun stares at you, arms crossed, as you smirk up at him. "So technically, if I never explicitly agreed, I don’t have to do it." He rubs his temples. "Do you ever just listen without a loophole?" "You love me for it." "Debatable." But when you poke his side playfully, he can't hide his fond smile.

Ten – The Amused Chaos

"You can’t just say that and expect no consequences," Ten says, blinking at you. "Why? Because logic dictates—" He cuts you off by throwing a pillow at your face. "No. Because I dictate that you shut up." You huff. "That’s abuse of power." Ten grins, leaning in. "Then report me to the WayV Authority, babe."

Winwin – The Fake Ignorance

You smugly present your argument, crossing your arms. "See? I am right." Winwin nods, completely straight-faced. "Mhm. Sure." "Wait… You’re not even listening, are you?" He shrugs. "Why would I argue when you’ll just argue more? I value my peace." You narrow your eyes. "You’re insufferable." "And yet, here you are." He gives you a victorious smirk.

Xiaojun – The Betrayed Puppy

"How do you always manage to twist things?" Xiaojun whines, throwing his hands in the air. "It’s not twisting, it’s thinking critically," you reply smugly. He gives you his best betrayed look. "No. It’s making my brain hurt." You pat his cheek. "Aw, poor baby." Xiaojun pouts. "You enjoy this, don’t you?" "Absolutely."

Hendery – The Unbothered Counterattack

"You’re wrong," you declare confidently. Hendery barely looks up from his phone. "Nah, I’m never wrong." You scoff. "Oh really? The guy who thought flamingos were born pink?" He gasps. "They aren’t???" You stare at him. "No. They turn pink from their diet." Hendery tilts his head, processing. "Huh. Guess we’re both smartasses, then."

Yangyang – The Ultimate Uno Reverse

"Technically, I didn’t say that," you argue smugly. Yangyang grins. "And technically, I don’t have to listen." "You—" You point at him, but he just laughs and walks away, leaving you stunned. He turns back at the door, flashing a peace sign. "Welcome to my world, babe!"

[livingthedragonlife]

happy multigender awareness day!! i am aware of you!! have some q's from that ask <3

1, 2, 6, 7, 12, 21, 23, 30 :DD

yay thank you!!!! i am perceived <3

[here is the ask game in question]

1) What are your genders? Either labels/terms or descriptions :)

I’m a bigender man/woman! The double binary! I also like saying I’m a trans man/cis woman. Cistrans manwoman. Tee hee mashing words together

2) Describe your pronouns. What are they, and why?

I use he/him & she/her, and I usually write it fully out like that (instead of he/she or she/he or something) so that nobody gets to ignore one for the sake of the other, or assume it’s a typo or something. I also say it out loud fully too, so no one can mishear me.

6) Do you identify with any umbrella terms that can encompass being multigender, like "trans" or "nonbinary"?

I am trans, but I am not non-binary.

I guess by definition I’m non-binary? Like I technically fall under the umbrella, but I’ve never identified with it. People tend to assume that “non-binary” means “genderless” which is the exact opposite of what I have going on. I’d rather strangers just assume I’m a binary trans man tbh, because at least then they’d be half-right!

7) Are your genders more fluid or more static?

Static! I am 100% a man and 100% a woman at all times. They are inseparable and making out.

12) Does your gender influence your sexual orientation? I’m double gay. All my sex is gay. Get bigender’d, idiot.

Real answer: I figured out I was bisexual way before I figured out I was bigender, and that hasn’t changed. I think since I’ve started transitioning, I’ve allowed myself to connect more with being a queer man attracted to queer men. My attraction to men has always felt queer, and something did feel “missing” from it even when I discovered being bisexual, so I think transitioning has let things click into place a bit more. My attraction to women never felt “incomplete” in that way, probably because being a woman attracted to women was already queer, so I never had to worry about being misinterpreted as a straight person lmao. And of course attraction to other trans/non-binary people feel queer because duh.

21) What are your favorite things about being multigender?

Getting to do both, I guess!! I don’t have to pick one gender and completely sever myself from the other, I can take the things I like from both and use the pieces to build one whole genderful self!

23) What unique parts about your identity are you proud of?

I feel powerful in being opposites. I’m a man and woman, I’m a cis and trans person at the same time, and most people—including other trans people—would view that as contradiction that would default not make sense, one would disqualify the other. But not for me! I contain multitudes and you WILL be confused by me.

30) What do you wish more people knew about being multigender? Well first, that it exists. That it’s easy and it’s free to be two or more genders at once. So many people straight up aren’t aware that such an option exists—except they probably know about being genderfluid. But you don’t have to be fluid to be more than one gender at once, there’s a whole spectrum of options out there. You can do whatever you want forever!

But close second is that it does feel inherently exclusionary in most queer spaces to be multigender. There’s a bisexual meet-up in my city that I’ve never been to (and never will), because they separate people by “women and femme non-binary” and “men and masc non-binary”—oh, but don’t worry, “you can decide which group you feel most comfortable in!” If I show up there, which room would they decide I belong in? This is a good microcosm of being multigender in all cishetero society, but unfortunately, indeed, in the queer community as well.

A LOT of queer spaces are separated by gender, sexuality, or presentation. I’ve had to wonder which places and people are going to be safe for me to interact with as my whole self, and which ones are going to dutifully ignore the half of my identity they like the least. I have to wonder if people are going to feel betrayed when they learn I’m a trans person who’s still cis, and try to deny me my own feelings and how I relate to my gender. I have to wonder if I’m “too woman” to date queer men, or “too man” to date queer women. Especially now that I’m on T—how long before people start assuming I’m exclusively a man instead of exclusively a woman? What’s going to happen when they find out they’re wrong?

So yeah, I wish people would keep this in mind more often.

[storiesofsvu]

A Dangerous Game Ch 19

Emily Prentiss x reader warnings: language, usual BAU case work/crime. mentions of smut. i am more than well aware that half of this technology doesn't work like this in real life, we're not gonna talk about it. for the sake of the fic, this is how it works LOL. part of me feels like this is a filler chapter but it was needed for how things are going to progress.

When you landed back in Quantico Derek was quick to say he’d be the one to swing through the BAU to pass off paperwork to Emily. You thanked him, but said you had to pick up a couple things from your desk and pop in to say hi to Penelope. Luckily the bull pen was empty, you were able to snag what you needed without being seen, swinging your go bag over your shoulder again you wandered through the halls until you reached Garcia’s office, softly knocking on the open door as you stepped through it.

“Hey you.” She greeted with a warm smile and you gratefully accepted the tight hug as she stood, wrapping you into her arms and pressing a kiss to your cheek. “How was Seattle?”

“Shit.” You mumbled back, slipping out of her embrace and dropping down into a spare chair, “very unfortunately ran into a not so good ex, but at least Morgan was there to counter balance the crap.”

“He is very good at that.” She smiled.

“And don’t worry.” You reached into your bag, “I was not too distracted to forget your present.” You gently set the box down on her desk and she beamed across at you. It had started pretty early on, that whenever you went somewhere new, you’d pick something up for Garcia, it was usually some kind of coffee mug, and this time it was exactly that, from the original Starbucks.

“You are an angel.” She leant forward, kissing your temple and you smiled, squeezing at her hand before you glanced toward her computer screen.

“What’s got you working late?”

“They raided a warehouse Dewald was hiding out at, found a bunch of his electronics, I’ve been working my way through them.”

“Rat bastard.” You grumbled, “deserves to be behind bars.”

“He is.”

“What?” You sat up straight at that.

“Well, I guess he’s not technically behind bars, but he’s in cuffs. They picked him up this morning, he’s been in interrogation all day.”

“Why did no one tell me?!”

“Well, you haven’t really been picking up your phone this week.”

“I— okay. Fair.” You let out a small sigh, twirling your chair slightly to face the desk, “you found anything good yet?”

“I’m honestly not sure, after decoding a bunch I got into his hard drive and I’ve kinda just been poking around. There’s a ton of these audio files, some of them are date stamped and there’s a ton that aren’t.”

“Just audio? I mean we already knew he was big in surveillance.”

“Yeah.” Penelope leant forward, clicking on one, “and look at this, like, it’s just static for hours, sometimes even days at a time.”

“Weird.”

“Right? I’ve just been fast forwarding through basically silence. If I listen carefully or separate off background noises I can kinda hear traffic, or distant noises and I’m pretty sure there’s an animal somewhere but why would Dewald have this?”

“I mean, he’s a psychopathic killer, we may never be able to figure out his motives.”

“Oh! Oh!” She nearly jumped suddenly, “that was a door closing.” Her hand shot out, hitting the play button so the two of you could actually hear the recording rather than skimming through it. Her head tilted as her eyes widened slightly, “and that… sounds like two people who are very eager to get to the bedroom.”

“Dewald never had any sexual motivations or crimes.” Your brow furrowed, but she was correct, you could hear the sound of shoes being kicked off, clothing and belts hitting the floor, the very clear sound of two people kissing, breathy moans and gasps coming through the speakers.

“That is definitely two people getting busy.”

“It’s two women….” Your head tilted as you listened.

“Are you sure?”

“Pen..” You cast her a look and she laughed.

“Right.”

A dark chuckle rang through the speaker and it sent a shiver down your spine before an all too familiar voice followed it,

“Oh princess… I never said you weren’t allowed to come. Poor thing. You must be incredibly pent up.” A small thud, “go ahead, make a mess of daddy’s pants.”

Your eyes widened at the same time Penelope’s did, however it was only your heart that began to race in your chest.

“Oh.. my god.” She gasped, “that is Emily…”

“Turn it off!” You smacked her hand, “Pen, turn it off, turn it”—

It was too late to save your own humility as your voice was the next to very clearly come through the speaker.

“Oh fuck…. Oh god daddy!”

“That’s it princess. Let everyone know just how good daddy fucks you.”

It was Penelope’s turn to smack your arm with her hand, latching on as she turned to you with a gasp, her eyes wide before the grin took over her cheeks.

“Oh my god! You guys are kinky!” She laughed, “I knew it! I knew there was something going on with you but I did not realize it had progressed this far.”

“Can you turn it off please!”

“Oh, yes. Sorry.” Her hand left your arm, darting out to pause the recording. “Jeeze. No wonder Emily’s so smitten with you.”

You’d dropped your face into your hands in an attempt to hide your complete and utter humiliation, letting out a heavy groan before you glanced back up at the other woman.

“I would definitely not call it that, and it is very much past tense.”

“Oh come on.”

“Can we not talk about this please!” You begged, it had been a long enough week as is and to be completely honest, you were still feeling the hangover.

“Why?” She nearly whined back and you could see the glee etched across her face, and not in the way that she was going to tease you about.

“You really wanna know?”

“Yes please.” She nodded with a wild grin and you let out a heavy sigh, rolling your chair closer to her computer.

“You said some of these were dated?” She nodded, watching you scroll through the pages until you found what you were looking for, “put an earphone in, I don’t need or want to hear this again.”

You watched as Penelope’s face fell, glancing over to you before she reached out and squeezed your hand. A few minutes later she paused the recording and pulled out her earphone, having heard enough,

“When was this?”

“About two weeks ago.” You sighed, “same day I got kicked off the case. Still have no clue why the fuck she would send me flowers right before pulling that.”

“She sent you flowers?”

“Yeah.”

“You sure?”

“There wasn’t a note or anything but it was the only thing that made sense.”

“Hold on.” She wheeled her chair over to another computer where she was quick to pull up traffic cams and find the right time and date. “That little weasel.”

“Is that Dewald?” Your brow furrowed, watching as he placed the bouquet down on your doorstep before turning and heading back down the steps, “but… she texted me about them.”

“When?”

“When I got home from the verbal lashing.” You rolled your eyes and Penelope’s eyes narrowed.

“Do you still have the texts?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Phone please.” She extended her hand and you gave her the device after unlocking it, watching as she hooked it up to the computer and swiped through various screens. “Does Em still have that iPad?”

“Yeah, usually on the coffee table.”

“Look, these texts,” her cursor highlighted a handful, “all from Emily. But the one about the flowers… he cloned her phone. Well, iPad in this case but thanks to the cloud and all that fancy stuff, he’s got access to her texts. This guy is almost too good.”

“You’ve lost me.” You rubbed a hand over your face, “and why do you have surveillance outside my house?”

“It’s how we managed to track him down. We knew he was targeting you, easiest place to start was your home.”

“Targeting, no. Pen you’re going down the wrong road here.”

“You know that’s why Emily took you off the case, right?”

“What?” You laughed, “no, it was cause I went rogue without her permission.”

“No sweet cheeks, Dewald was going after you.”

“What are you talking about? Because I was the original agent on the case?” Your brow furrowed as your tired hungover brain tried to unscramble what she was saying. It certainly wasn’t helping that she was piecing things together, beginning to talk a million miles a minute between clicking through random screens on multiple computers.

“No. Well, that is what I originally thought, but look at this.” She had pulled up a video from the field in Florida and you nearly winced at the sight of Emily kissing your temple, “he witnessed that. He was peeved she killed his partner and wanted to get back at her in a similar way. He managed to get out of Florida, get to DC and now we know he had something recording in Emily’s apartment. You were the target because he thought the two of you were together. Ten bucks says that after cloning her phone his plan was to lure you out, making you think you were meeting her for a romantic date night and do… unspeakable things instead… the flowers were the start of the seduction. Until you replied like that and he realized that this route wasn’t the route to go.” She paused to glance up at you and you were looking at her like she had two heads, “did you not know any of this? She really didn’t tell you about the cat?”

“What cat?!” You asked, groaning, “that conversation you just heard was the last time we spoke outside of this office.”

“Man, she really did keep you in the dark on this one.” Her voice was softer when she began to come back to earth, realizing how much she had just info dumped on you at the end of a very long week.

“Penelope, I love you to bits and pieces.” You sighed, standing from your chair, leaning forward to kiss the top of her head, “but my brain is too hungover for this. Enjoy your conspiracy theories and if you listen to any more of that, for the love of god fast forward please.”

“Oh, oh don’t worry. I will be zooming past all of that.” She chuckled softly before her voice softened, “and hey… just think about it, okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

*

Across the building, Derek was waiting in Emily’s office while he was filling out some last minute paperwork on the case from Seattle. He heard a small shuffling behind him before her blazer came swinging into view, being tossed onto a spare chair.

“You coulda just left the files.” She greeted.

“Had to finish up a couple of things.” He shrugged, “and I wanted to see how it went with Dewald.”

“He won’t say much but he also didn’t lawyer up. Now it’s Saturday, so he gets to spend the rest of the weekend in the tombs.”

“At least you got him.”

“Yeah.” She sighed, dropping down into the chair behind her desk, “I take it Wilson didn’t come in from the jet.”

“I told her I could handle it.” He replied, Emily tired enough she didn’t pick up on the shift in his tone, the coolness of his voice the second you were brought up.

“How’s she holding up?”

“Better.” He sighed, flipping a file closed, “think a night out helped.”

“Oh?” She raised a brow, feeling her stomach begin to churn, “I didn’t expect that drink to go well….”

“I didn’t ask.” He shrugged as he moved to stand, “but she got in pretty late.” He dropped the file onto her desk, “anyways, I’ll see ya Monday.”

“Yeah.”

Emily’s lips pursed as she watched him leave the office, she knew that she technically had no right to be jealous or upset right now, but it didn’t matter, she still very much was. Instead she tried to push it to the back of her mind, picking up the files Derek had left to go over them before submitting them. She still had a bunch of her own to go through as well, making sure Dewald would be ready to be processed out on Monday. It was a few hours later by the time she heard Penelope’s heels making their way toward her office, pausing right as she crossed the doorway.

“Hi…” she greeted, her boldness suddenly vanishing from her body.

“Hi…?” Emily raised a brow in her direction.

“Uh.. I… uh…”

“What?” She laughed, “spit it out Garcia.” She took in the expression on the other woman’s face, worry taking over her, “oh god… what did you do?”

“You know, this time… I actually didn’t do anything. But I do have a bone to pick with you and honestly, I’m more than a little mad at you right now. Because you did do something.”

“What are you on about?” She laughed once more, placing down her pen to fully tune into the blonde.

“You and Wilson.” She finally spat it out and she definitely caught the way Emily tensed.

“I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.” She bluffed, though she could feel her heart rate spike.

“Oh come on Emily! Cut the crap! It’s been the unspoken topic all week. I know I’m not a profiler but I’m not dumb. Not to mention I’ve been going through Dewald’s computer, and now I know you know about the bug in your apartment.”

“Oh god…” Emily dropped her face into her hands, more than a little embarrassed as she realized what Penelope was talking about and just how much she must have heard.

“Also, Wilson knows that I know. But she did swear me to secrecy.”

“As she should have!”

“You need to talk to her!”

“Why?” She looked up at her with an exasperated sigh. It was Saturday, she shouldn’t have even been working in the first place and now everything was coming out of the woodwork.

“For starters you owe her one hell of an apology.”

“What?”

“Two days before you kicked her off the case you found the bug, didn’t you? Sergio broke something, and the apartment gets really quiet from then on in. Until you ended things with her. Which, for the record, I don’t believe one bit. I know you Emily, you wouldn’t be that cruel unless there was a reason. You would have let her down easily, especially knowing that you still have to work together and instead you tore a strip off her, crushed her heart. After all those weeks of sickeningly cute date nights, spending the entire weekend together? And don’t even get me started on how much sex you two were having, my god, good on you guys! After all of that, to rip the rug out from under her, it’s gotta be about the case. You need to talk to her because you care about her, and you hurt her…”

“Are you done?” Emily asked softly, her voice meek, her gaze directed down at the desk in front of her as Penelope let out a huff and she felt the tears misting into her eyes.

“I think so.”

“I broke her heart Pen…” She finally glanced up at the other woman who winced at the look of sheer pain written across her expressions and she finally fully came clean about everything, not that it mattered, Penelope had clearly already heard basically everything.

“So you go and apologize.”

“What? Right now? She just got back from Seattle; I think I can give her a little breathing room.”

“That’s honestly probably a good idea, she’s pretty hungover.”

“She mention anything about Skylar?” Emily raised a cautious brow.

“No. And hey! Even if she did, I wouldn’t tell you because you don’t get the privilege of knowing until you’ve apologized and begged for forgiveness that I really, really hope she gives you because you guys are so stinkin’ cute and honestly I just really need you to kiss and make up and be together.”

“I honestly don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me.”

“Oh c’mon.”

“Pen, you don’t understand, she’s been hurt so badly before, walked out on, abandoned and now I’ve done the exact same thing to her.”

“Yeah but it was to keep her safe. She’s gotta at least understand that.”

“How is she supposed to trust me again?”

“Well you start with an apology and an explanation, and then give it time.” Penelope’s voice was softer this time, “you really care about her don’t you?” When Emily looked up at her, her eyes were blurred with tears and she let out a shaky sigh, finally fucking saying the words out loud.

“She was the first person I let myself fall in love with in a very long time.”

“Well then tell her that!” The last three words were enunciated by Garcia smacking the file folder in her hand against Emily’s arm.

“Hey!”

“Idiots.” The blonde muttered under her breath, turning to leave the room. “Promise me?”

“I will!” Emily groaned, “once we know Dewald’s in actual prison, I’ll explain everything.”

“Good!” Penelope called as she disappeared out of the office.

*

When you got home that night you realized just how fucking exhausted you were, grabbing the mail from the mail box as you unlocked the front door. The first thing you noticed was that you kicked something small, shooting it across the floor before it clinked against the bottom stair. The second was the beeping coming from the now working and active alarm system.

Dropping the mail onto the entry way table you padded over to the security system and punched in the code you’d chosen when Derek was attempting to set it up and the beeping stopped. Brow furrowed, you moved back to the stairs, picking up what was glinting in the sunlight and realized it was your spare key, pocketing it you flipped through the pile of mail. Nestled in between the folds of a Whole Foods flyer was the blue lanyard the key had been on the last time you’d seen it.

You glanced between it and the alarm box a few times. Emily had been in your house. Emily had made sure that the security system was properly up and running by the time you got home and had slipped the key under the door rather than stashing it on the lanyard somewhere. Two big things that would contribute to your continued safety.

Maybe there was something to Penelope’s findings after all.  

__________________

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[our-queer-experience]

Hello, hope you are well! I am submitting this ask to just, get your perspective on my situation if that’s okay. And maybe hear from others that have been in similar spots.

So for context, I am a 21 y/o female. My close friends know me as a masc lesbian. I never really had crushes on anyone growing up, but really gravitated towards people who would later come out as queer. This became even more the case when I started presenting a lot more GNC and moved to college. I’ve had a couple brief but meaningful relationships with women, and no part of me doubts my WLW side.

But. I’ve recently been finding myself looking at men a little differently, more like how I look at women I find attractive. However when I try to imagine doing anything romantic or sexual with any of them, it just kind of repulses me. Despite the attraction I have to them. Not sure what’s up with that.

I recently was at a party and ended up messing around with a random straight guy there, which is the first time I’ve done anything with a guy. It was fine, enjoyable, but I know I wouldn’t have done that if I hadn’t been drunk (whereas I definitely don’t have to be drunk to kiss women lol). So, I guess to wrap this ramble of an ask up- do I sound like a bisexual with messed up feelings towards men? Any thoughts or wisdom would be appreciated 😭🙏 I don’t really want to talk about any of this to my friends just yet. Thank you in advance and no worries if you can’t get to this.

ok so. first off. a lot of women who are attracted to men don’t… like men, if that makes sense. you can not want to have sex with someone without that making you not attracted to them. i think weve established that. then there’s the question of lesbian or bi and really… what’s useful? are you focused on what is true based on attraction, or what is functional? since you dont like dating men, it can be functional to identify as a lesbian, because you’ll only date women. but you technically, as far as i can tell, are bisexual by definition.

give it time and think about it. you’ll figure it out, even if i cant give you the answers

[seadeepspaceontheside]

Honestly people underestimate the power of straight women in their 30s. Even if they were the only ones who wanted aziracrow to do something on screen (they are not) let's not forget our roots. Shipping culture is the way it is today because of the housewifes who wanted spirk to happen (technically, you know what I mean).

Point is, it's ok to want for something to happen, it's ok if you don't. People just need to respect the other people in the fandom regardless.

Personally I don't want any actual nsfw content in s3, I see myself in these characters. But that's my opinion. I won't be mad whatever happens (except if they pull another 'I forgive you' moment. Then lord help us). I don't go around harassing others who don't share the same opinion as mine. I just exist in the fandom space (I see the whole thing like schrodinger's cat I guess, both outcomes are true untill s3 comes out).

Fandom is supposed to be fun, I don't know why people want to ruin everything :(

honestly knowing how tv works and the rating system, I even doubt we would have a sex scene for two queer older presenting men in general. I understand that one such as yourself might not want it because you see that but I am more lenient as a movement that we should have some indication. Queer media in mainstream has been very much sanitized and let alone any sexual media for masculine figures especially. I'll have the conversation of not needing nsfw when theres been an even playing field for queer media in the mainstream. And this is coming from someone who hates sex scenes the difference is that I want it in, and I will not go "lets get rid of them" if the person put it in for the sake of it THEN YES IT IS PART OF IT.