#i am so used to scraps
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My entire morning has been speculating with my mother about the Disney Parks expansion announcements because this is my niche favorite interest and I'm suddenly excited about the parks again for the first time in a hot minute.
#amy chats.#i am not a disney movie fan#but im an indoctrinated disney park psycho#a pirates bar???#FINALLY A NIGHT TIME PARADE???#i am so used to scraps#disney world
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WATCHED C3e99 DOWNFALL PART 1 AND UHHH I HAVENT DRAWN FAN ART IN YEARS BUT THE MUSE REALLY SPOKE TO ME THIS TIME
Step 2 figure out how the Emissary actually looks
#I VOTE WE JUST CALL HIM APPLES#my sibling and I were watching together and I was like noshir STILL hasn't come in yet I bet he's in the fucking crate#and then#Apples <3#BE APPLES#I've solely been referring to the emissary as Apples in all of our conversations okay I love him#im big in love with Asha tho I am very excited to see what the rest of downfall brings us#I feel like my brain was going 7000 mph the whole episode trying to remember every scrap of lore I could remember#idk maybe more art to come I guess???#everyone thank my good buddy P who can not see this post as it will be spoiler tagged for them but they somehow unlocked my art block#by introducing a What If Ashton Draws As A Coping Mechanism AU and I went slightly feral over it <33#critical role#exu downfall#critical role campaign 3#god my tagging system has gone to shit there is so much goin on#bells hells#it's not BH but that's what all the rest of the C3 stuff is tagged with so im just gonna do that for my own searching purposes I guess#sams art#cr downfall
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the Sept scene was fully in character for Rhaenyra & Alicent
I've seen fans--even Rhaenicent fans!--saying it was ooc or "fanfic." It wasn't. The original scene was much shorter: Emma and Olivia, two very talented actors who know their characters well, expanded it. They weren't just wasting time or suddenly lacking in talent and insight. They knew what they were doing and it connects all the way back.
So let's go all the way back! Where do we begin? Episode 1x01, King Viserys wants a son and male heir; he has wanted a son for so long that Rhaenyra, his 14-year-old daughter says (ep 1x01) "For as long as I can recall, it’s all he’s wanted." What has this done to her? Well, for one thing, it has made her mother, who has difficult pregnancies, in ill health for most of her life. This ill health means that Aemma did a lot of lecturing (and trying to keep Rhaenyra from flying and doing other risky things while she was sick) and not a lot of getting to spend quality time with her daughter. A distracted father, ruling the realm, and a mother sick with trying to give him the male heir he prioritizes above his wife and daughter.
Who has been there for Rhaenyra? Alicent. Alicent was hers. When Rhaenyra flies on her dragon, experiencing freedom from all her worries and power and joy, she wants ALICENT to be there with her, high above the sea, looking out over the city:
[source: 1x01 script]
When Rhaenyra had to have a difficult conversation with her mother, it was Alicent she looked to for comfort and emotional support -- in an act a cut scene from the script *explicitly calls "flirting"*. Rhaenyra relies on and longs for that "disarming kindness" she says Alicent has.
And it was Alicent's lap that Rhaenyra flirts about loving to lie upon. Alicent is so much to Rhaenyra that she dreams of running away together, just the two of them and Rhaenyra's bonded dragon Syrax.
Alicent was her cherished girl, her comfort and her chief supporter and advisor. She was Rhaenyra's heart's rest. And, yes - it was a friendship blossoming into flirtation and desire as the two matured. They were on the cusp of something. They were the world to each other.
[source]
Emma and Olivia get it and have always gotten it. Rhaenyra has this gorgeous yang or solar energy that finds balance with Alicent's yin or lunar energy. They're a sun and moon couple, balancing each other's strengths and weaknesses. With Alicent, the sword of Rhaenyra's intense energy has a sheath. A resting place. Her fire has a hearth. And Alicent isn't drained by people (like Viserys would later do...) who just take and take and take -- hurting her and draining that "disarming kindness" of hers until she's broken and ruined inside. Rhaenyra gives and cherishes in a way that made Alicent feel whole and appreciated.
Rhaenyra goes from being angry (angry the way a jilted lover would be - calling Alicent a "whore" for what she felt emotionally imo as Alicent cheating on Rhaenyra with her father) to instantly deeply protective and possessive once she learns more. See the cut scene after Viserys reveals his engagement to Alicent:
[script pages source] [photo source]
Rhaenyra is ready to take on the whole Seven Kingdoms to protect her girl!
Rhaenyra liked being the focus of Alicent playing the "lady beloved" role - reading soothingly to her, supporting and encouraging and admiring her, teasing her for being naughty, advising her about her political situation. She found rest and comfort there - and then Viserys took her mother, cutting her open to get his precious son out. And then, in his remorse and grief, he took comfort in Rhaenyra's girl (who was forced to give him that precious kindness of hers by her father) and her father *stole her girl too*. Not only did he steal her girl, he put her own status as heir into question by having a firstborn son with her - after wounding Rhaenyra deeply by chasing a son as far back as she could remember!
All the "she should be over it" stuff about Alicent... if Rhaenyra were a male character people would recognize the wound of having his crush stolen out from under him by his old man at the same time his old man refuses to fully back his status as heir - it's archetypal! It's gd Greek. Your old man trying to keep you from the girl you want, from your desires and destiny as an adult.
Rhaenyra makes total sense in the Sept scene - she has the primal wound of a girl who is an HEIR - who wanted to have things and act and possess and stand tall and be the lover to a girl's beloved in a way only boys are allowed in this society... and whose father took her girl away from her as well as making her feel uncertain of her status in a deeply wounding way. Rhaenyra correctly locates, emotionally, her rupture from Alicent as where it all went wrong. The Sept scene is about all of that emotionally and it makes total sense. It is also about Rhaenyra's sheer desperation and comprehension of the horror coming... and the most heartbreaking longing to return to a time when Alicent's heart was her home.
Alicent's heart was Rhaenyra's home. And her father stole the girl she loved. He took her and savaged and used and broke her and made her give birth to children she didn't want (at least not with him) from decades of sex she did. not. want. because even men who think they're nice in this society are allowed that - to cut a wife open for a son, to use a girl young enough to be his daughter. He vacillated between wounding and affirming Rhaenyra, never fully able to honor her as his heir because she was not a boy. And he couldn't even conceive of her feelings for Alicent because this is a deeply homophobic society - but he was also, even seeing it in a platonic light, selfish and inconsiderate of her feelings for her best friend.
He kept putting his feelings and needs first, over his wife, over his daughter, over her best friend.
I don't care if nobody else gets it - the way Emma plays it? They get it. They're an extremely talented actor who wasn't going "ooc" in the Sept - they were playing *that*. My father inflicted these primal wounds on me because my coming of age was more like a boy's--like things that should be allowed girls but are denied them-- and he thwarted me and yet I love him. And I love Alicent and I long for her heart, though it's full of poison and broken things now. Why does it all have to be like this? Why does it have to hurt so much?
The Sept scene is entirely in character for both of them. It is not "fanfic." It is not OOC. It is the broken heart of this tragedy bleeding before our eyes.
#rhaenicent#alicent hightower#rhaenyra targaryen#house of the dragon#hotd meta#my meta#'you're not my homeland anymore / so what am i defending now?'#you'd have to rip this ship from my cold dead hands#an/tis get *fucked*#if you use the word 'qu/eerbait' in reply to this post i will block you#the current political moment in the US is shaping whether or not we get LGBT rep and to what degree#every SCRAP of this was fought for by people behind the scenes#and i honor that#this isn't a cw show in 2013 trying to gain audience by appealing to queers - it's a GRRM show it already has a HUGE audience. there's no#benefit to them financially or in terms of business from including this!! it's done out of love
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First off, you guys need to stop giving me so many notes on my last post /silly, second of all, here's some SIBLINGS and a shitty Rodger I did as a warmup, not the greatest but meh.
Changed Goob's design a bit more as I came up with some self indulgent headcanons for him (I added a poll to see if anyone cares abt my ideas in the slightest ahem ahem I wanna rant ahem) but I couldn't think of anything to add to Scraps, if anyone has any ideas for me I'd be delighted to hear them and possibly steal from u /silly
I'm glad a lot of people liked my last post- it's surprising the first Dandy's World post I make within a week becomes my top post, I hope this one also gets some love since I spent a lot of time working on the Goobert and his silly sister, I hope you enjoy :]
#my art#art#dandys world#dandy's world#dandys world fanart#dandy's world fanart#dandys world goob#dandy's world goob#goob dandys world#good dandy's world#dandys world scraps#dandy's world scraps#scraps dandys world#scraps dandy's world#dandys world rodger#dandy's world rodger#rodger dandys world#rodger dandy's world#sometimes i wonder if people think im obnoxious for adding so many tags#i hope im not#i just am used to not getting much notes i guess#and i always get annoyed when i accidentally click the wrong tag and theres hardly any art#so i guess i wanna include a lot of tags so people can find my stuff#idk what the most popular one is i only really scour goob content#im gonna shut up now
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anger management is back babyyy (kinda)
https://youtu.be/V8PrDmN04P0
#just gonna use AM whenever i feel like making a stupid loud guitar song#this one is actually PAFL related but i wont put it in the playlist since it's not exactly relevant#was real fun to make! so glad i got an actual guitar mannn#though i will tag it as pafl here#parties are for losers#mymusic#myart#scraps#bg gang
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brett hand stimboard~ for anon that's SUPER anonymous and definitely not fairly obviously the person with a brett hand icon that just followed this blog
👔 🪪 👔 / 🪪 [🙂] 🪪 / 👔 🪪 👔
#stim#stimblr#stimboard#brett hand#inside job#requested#-mod nep#hope you like this anon :) actually had to go back and rewatch inside job to find scraps of this guys personality for this board. lol#its fine though we had had been meaning to do that anyway#labored over what emojis to use for the sources too. this guy has NOTHING to work off of#he's so scrimbly though#puppet episode solidified him as my favorite inside job character. i also love puppets and am emotionally stunted so it was an easy choice
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I had exactly enough purple scraps left from the starry purple quilt to make a baby quilt! Well, the quilt top isn't exactly done yet, but pretty close, just one more round of ironing and sewing left
#sewing#quilting#quilting wip#scrappy purple baby quilt#what am I going to do with this? I do not know#but it is fabric out of my scrap pile#scrap management#it's not all wild scrap patchwork and crumb quilting!#sometimes it's pretty purple baby quilts#sometimes I am...concerned by the amount of scraps of fabric and batting I generate#and by my own unwillingness to throw them away (it feels wasteful!)#so I am always happy to use the scraps for stuff#like the basket yesterday! and this quilt today!#I might spend a few more days on scrap management and finishing off quilt tops#so I can get them out of my crafting space
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this tree from my new drawing looking goated afffffff 👑👑
#yes this is a nel/vas drawing get off me😂#text#i wanted everyone to see it but also since i draw on paper in total silence i think a lot about everything so i wanted to voice some -#- thoughts too's. tbh i've been veeery self indulgent lately#actually i'm happy that n*lv*s is getting actual hits out of me that i like looking at#especially on-paper stuff that i can recall being fun for me to draw. all traditional art is fun to draw#and digital has turned into an actual task for me (only sometimes tho maybe i;m lying.. mspaint we're still bffs)#i think i just don't see the joy in trying to scrap up a ''' finished ''' piece in an art program .. pencil i love you and i love the -#- feeling of it scratching along the paper....sigh............ Rabu#i don't want my blog or thoughts to turn into traditional art suck-off ventures bc ik not everyone can get into it for many possible -#- reasons but if u feel like it U can ok? do it for Pencil✏️ and for me? for silusvesuius? 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚#but Lord i hope i don't also come off as one of those people that r like 'to improve in art just draw that one fictional character u -#- rly like 😂😂' bruh gtfo my face with that.#i'm noticing 'improvement' in my stuff mainly...i think... because i'm always striving to impress#not so much other people that are here just for my art but more so myself#i have a very huge ego (Mind Battle)#also it makes me sad to think about how big egos or genuine (not obnoxious) flauntiness are looked down on#and i can tell bc i used to look down on people that would express the things i'm expressing now#especially in art focused spaces. now i'd rather be in a circle of artists that love to J*rk off their own brain for it's ideas -#-and talent than be w/ very self-conscious artists that are never expressing pride about any of their work#worse if it's to the point where they actively start to fish for compliments bc of it#fishing for compliments is always OK i just wish it didn't stem from insecurity in that context if that makes sense#but maybe that's very easy for me to say and admit bc i did develop a very big ego around my art and ... Creativity? like it's a sims skill#not that i still don't seek out 'attention' or compliments from others to soothe myself but hmmmmmm i hope u feel me.#it just turns me into a very competitive person#who am i competing with? Myself#i'm always in 'you can do better Because you're YOU' mode#which is much better i believe than comparing yourself 2 other artists#i don't think a lot of people read my tag ramblings but if u do i wonder how one feels about a very pompous artist#like me .......(?)
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did an acrylic painting for the first time in forever, so now i can test my wip texture pack on it :3
#i pinched a nerve in my wrist and covid is rocking my shit so im working veryyyy slowlyyyy#but this was fun :D i am very excited to compile this texture pack! its a lot of my grandmothers and brothers painting scraps#and all the actium stuff is already scheduled for friday at 9am across all platforms so i cant forget again lol#also these were like 30 year old acrylics i used? cheap student shit too. the pigments and texture were actually fantastic for most of them#amazing. most of them didnt even smell weird#minadraws
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I apologize for the person I will become when this happens!! 😘😘
#smooches talks#i promise i will write a fic w/ reader n dottore with that tree oooh#U DONT UNDERSTAND HOW HAPPY I AM#that part of the trailer was like#so iconic and im glad they didn scrap it#BURN DOWN THE TREE DOTTORE BURN IT#I WILL NOT SHUT UP ABT IT I NEED HIM TO CREATE CONSEQUENCES#i hear “a little experiment in... blasphemy” on the daily inside my head.#I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS ON HOW AND WHY AND ECERYTHING#save us dottore... save us
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every single time without fail if i look at a scene and im like "oh this scene is so pretty itll be so easy to gif" it turns out to be the most impossible ugly horrible gif ive ever created. why
#bro this is about time of fever. genuinely the most gorgeous color grading ever and for some reason i thought i literally forgot how ot gif#when i was trying to make sets for it because i hated everything.#i genuinely scrapped so much i thought i didnt know how to gif anymore. but also it was 5 am#and i had just finished watching it and again it was 5 am so i dont even know why i started working on anything. hyperfocus is a#hell of a drug.#fivemind#i need kiru to wake up so i stop using tumblr posting like a diary in the middle of the night
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Happy Pride Month! And also Let Papyrus Say Fuck Day dghsghfs
Bonus identities I associate with Papyrus, plus a regular non-pride flag version below:
#undertale: scattered extension#utse#papyrus / scraps (utse)#papyrus#my art#undertale au#and i guess it might be good to clarify:#i see canon undertale papyrus as aroace! so since scattered extension takes place after canon undertale. scraps is aroace as well#it's not a result of him being soulless or anything. he's always been aroace! <3#with more emphasis on him being aro. but i myself am ace so. *hits him with the ace-ification projection beam* gfdhfgdhfs he gets Both#and ye! i see papyrus as nonbinary too! based on a few of the things he says in-game#but rather than using non-gendered terms he just. picks and chooses differently gendered terms for himself as he pleases#to give some examples from the game itself:#he uses he/him pronouns... Probably exclusively. and as a sibling he is sans' *brother*.#but! if he were to become a parent he would be a *mother* not a father#this is all stuff i headcanon for canon papyrus! which again means that it also all applies to scraps as well
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Save me, New York Public Library, You're My Only Hope
#you ever want to watch a movie so bad that you google search it every week#Hoping for Scraps#and then suddenly the New York Public Library is just like: hey if your a kid ages 13-18 come join us#We'll be Screening Detective Conan#The Million Dollar Pentagram#Which hasn't been released in north america but we somehow got a screener copy#I am NOT sure if its open to the public or just like#School aged teenagers who somehow found out about Detective Conan in North America#That Sign Can't Stop Me I can't READ#me asking to take a half a day off work to go all the way to the BRONX#to watch this One Movie#personal
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and then i realized today well shit man no wonder im exhausted all the time. i work all day and then i spend the rest of my time at home also working on writing and stuff so that i can obtain a single shred of the feeling of love and attention and validation through writing 150k words that some people get for free just for existing
#when my grandma said she loved me grandCHILD i realized it was the first time i had felt loved in person in a very long time#and the first time i had ever felt like any family member had ever known or understood me period#i write thousands and thousands of words to be seen and understood and the fleeting attention i get not only solely exists on the internet#but its like meager fleeting scraps compared to people who have been selected by others just for existing#i write to be understood because it’s the only way i obtain a sense of love in terms of like#‘being understood’#i write to obtain love and it is scraps and table crumbs and none of it is irl#i’m not used to living in a life where i dont have to work to be loved#what is that like#every single thing i have to do for love (attention) is work#if i dont talk in the group chat people dont talk to or think of me#if i dont host gatherings at my house no one goes out of their way to see me#i cant just come home and exist and know i am loved by someone#i have to talk#or post#or write#or host parties#or organize events#and it’s work work work work work#but when i go home im alone and so it’s basically like i dont exist#so it’s the only thing i can do to prove im out there to someone so people dont forget me#oh and all the parties and hosting and writing and posting and events are fleeting anyway#they end and then everyone leaves and nothing changes until the next one and then it repeats
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current obsession is quilt patterns that are just squares of varying sizes tossed together like a geometry salad. angels, to me
#like i know it doesn't take overmuch technical skill#but it's so mesmerizing#graph paper quilts literally. there's nothing like them#i have a galaxy themed jelly roll i think i'm going to use as inspo#i can use up some of my bardic glennspiration scraps and all the blues that i don't usually use much#and possibly jon quilt scraps if i have that much leftover#quilting tag#aster chat#yes i SHOULD be working on my jon quilt! thanks for mentioning!#i'm aware. and here i am. cutting 2.5 inch squares. :)#oh paul i don't do what i should do and i do what i shouldn't do we're really in it now
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Idk why the fucken... Divide between "it was alternate universes" & "Paul is just trans" ideas for Petscop has to be torn into a cavern. Paul being trans DOES make sense, but requires you to ignore huge details that immediately make it not work. The alternate universes DO kind of make sense, but require you to extrapolate out a lot of info purposefully left unshown.
It's hard to describe what i want to say, here -- i do think Paul being trans makes sense, 'splains why he & Care "look eeriely similar," you could argue he's just thoroughly blocked out that part of his life enough to have forgotten Care entirely, etc. I like it, & i keep it as i also say "Yeah, it's that & the universes theory." It's not two switches that demand you can only flip on one of them -- you can have both. You can have neither. Do whatever
#em.txt#petscop#i think my big thing is just that. I don't think it was intended#& it is not my job as a queer person to sweep up crumbs from under the rug for proof that is not there#if a creator wished to create a trans character i would enjoy if they would say as such. but mr. petscop has not said as such#& while i love the theory. if i see one more mfer say 'this is OBVIOUSLY canon & if u say otherwise ur LYING'#or 'omg ppl gotta make up crazy theories before they believe a queer story is queer 🙄' i will bite you.#i understand you are used to no queer rep so you take these scraps of dust as truth.#but do not mock people that don't agree with the plate of nothing you're serving.#discourse#yeah i think I'm being petty enough to deserve this tag. i am sorry for being mean#paul transgender is inherently based but u r stretching as much as me#I don't think the universe theory is canon or intended. I don't think there is an answer to petscop#i think it just exists & doesn't matter what it was abf#the plot of it is chasing windmills & ending up nowhere forever & ever to waste your time & be miserable#why do we want a conclusive answer from that? the explanation of petscop is this:#idk wtf was going on here. but i sure am glad Paul got tf outta there
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