#i am so tired but obviously cant sleep rn

[izel-01]

Still haven’t been able to find a job, been applying and even reapplying hoping someone would contact me but nothing and I cant stand the idea of calling and getting rejected

So obviously I had to cancel some luxuries that I’ve once had and one of those being Spotify premium, I had the family plan, but with the price change and having no income I can’t have that luxury rn

So I canceled and my younger sister is acting like it’s the end of the world like? I already explained to her that it’s not a necessity sure it’s really nice to have it but if I can’t afford it I have to cancel it and when she woke up to the subscription being canceled she was not happy

She offered to pay, I kept declining bc I don’t think it’s fair that she would pay for something that I originally was paying for and last payment I asked our “ mother “ for to lend me some money ( I’m keeping track how much I owe her it’s not much but still I hate feeling like I owe people money )

Anyways our mother said we’ll talk later about it, my sister and her did talk about it without me ( which idc ) but they kept making “jokes” saying shit like “too bad for those without Spotify premium having to listen to ads” and honestly it was annoying but I ignored them not giving them the time of day

But it hurts cause like I know I can’t afford these luxuries but at least I have a roof over my head and a comfy bed to sleep but it was nice and I miss it but it’s not a necessity and I have having to depend on her for money even though I try not to ask for anything especially since she has to save money for that stupid parasite she’s gonna have but that’s for another day

It just sucks bc I’m the eldest I’m supposed to be the example but I can’t even get a fucking job - I refuse to go back to food service it is not worth my mental health and the pay was not enough - the second oldest doesn’t want a job which imo is fine bc she literally raised the youngest 3 but she doesn’t want to cook, do chores, or learn to drive. And it fucking pisses me off sometimes bc at least she has a purpose living here unlike me

I’m in the way and I know it even if this stupid bitches say I’m not I know I am bc my sister, my best friend, says to “just move out already” , “it’s not that hard”, “nobody wants you here”, etc and ofc it hurts cause the one person who has been through everything with me, who made me suffer (not her fault when we were little but now she should know better), the one who I consider my best friend/my other half is saying this stuff to me in my face

It usually happens when she gets really irritated or when she just snaps at me for any reason which happens almost everyday and I know I may be a bit too much (tough playing with the little ones or “butting” in stuff) but it’s how I show my appreciation and love and concern but she says it’s not my “business” or sum other shit calling me names

One time a while ago around Dec 2021 I’m pretty sure after we had another argument she said something along the lines of “if I was tired then I would not get up cause nobody expects anything from you” and that really hurt I don’t remember the context of what was said I just wrote it down in my notes just her saying that

What do I say to that? How do I move on from that? I obviously didn’t forget but I’ve not forgiven her either. I cook for her I clean after her I try to help her in any way I can I defended and still do to this day from our “mother”- I remember once around middle/high school when our mother was yelling and was about to hit her and I stood out in between them saying she’ll never hit her again and this bitch (the mother) laughed and called me a hypocrite I’ll never forget that and to this day she says she doesn’t remember funny how the most terrible moments of my life she claims of having no memory of and ok my brain is shit cause I physically can’t remember shit at all but I remember that clearly tears in my eyes, scared to death of standing up to her, scared of her but I knew I had to protect my little sister

Anyways it just sucks that I already know I’m a miserable example of the eldest child, but for them to keep reminding me like i don’t know already doesn’t make it better and I can’t tell my supposed best friend bc she is part of the reason why I’m slowly losing my will to do anything and I’m pushing myself everyday trying to cook more help with chores even more to show that I do appreciate them letting me stay here bc according to my mum I’m “ no longer her obligation”

Like I stopped being her child once I turned 15… but she would never dream of doing this to the younger 4 but it’s fine bc at least they have a fighting chance in this cruel world I really want the best for them bc they didn’t asked to be here but it must be nice to not have to suffer what I did

Me and the second oldest like to joke saying we were the free trial and the youngest three have it easy, and jokes aside they do. Like in that show “Good Place” when the main character said sum about her mum sum along the lines of “ if she could’ve been a better mum for ____ then that means she could always change but I wasn’t enough for her to change” and that fucking hit me like a train… cause she did change not for her, not for us, but for them her 3 precious angels (about to be 4) and that “loving husband” of hers, don’t get me wrong that’s a good thing but it hurts seeing them be treated how I deserved to be treated to get that “family” I will always yearn for, it’s still not good tho but hey it’s wayyyy better than my childhood at least I hope it is bc then it would all have been for nothing

[catboywizard]

I went right from a really bad cold straight into an extremely painful ear infection. So yeah, the last week has been super fun for me

[saeyoungs-angel]

Hey lovely, if you don’t have too many asks id like to request shota or denki with a partner that struggles with depression, mainly with taking care of them selves in this. like hygiene, getting out of bed or doing anything really. denki or shota help them do little things that. i think you know what i mean so just write it how ever you want or don’t, if you are uncomfortable with this.

⨳​ punctilious — mha

starring. aizawa & you

plot. you may think you’re slick, but your boyfriend pays attention to everything. this includes the lack of care that you’ve shown yourself, recently.

genre. comfort, fluff

cw. mentions of depressive episodes and depressive behaviors

notes. god i am so sorry it took me so long to get to this, my writers block is so fuckin bad rn but i managed to finish it! i hope u see this since i cant tag u and idk if ur following me but if u do then i hope u enjoy it:)

likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated! <3

𓆩☆𓆪

“(y/n), this is the fourth day in a row that you’ve slept in so late.”

you grumble in your half-asleep state, swiftly snatching the blanket he had so rudely stolen from over you. you tuck it back underneath your weary arms and roll away from aizawa.

huffing, you reply in a slurry manner. “tired, shota. didn’t get enough sleep.”

he hums, tilting above you to reach your furrowed eyebrows—he softly thumbs the crease forming in between them.

“stop that, you’ll look old.” he chides, feeling a bit hopeless with your attitude. he knows very well that your sleeping pattern has been through the ringer this past week, and he also knows he can’t force you to fix it.

that said, he still stubbornly wants to try.

“hey, sweetheart. if you get up now, we’ll go to a cat cafe. how’s that sound?”

your eyes fly open, only to dim moments after.

“not feelin’ it today, sorry sho.”

now, aizawa isn’t surprised by much, but this? this has him reeling on the inside. you never turn down an invite to a cafe, let alone one filled with cats.

something is amiss, definitely. though he’d like to speak with you about it directly, he’s worried that you’ll close yourself off even more—it’s not like you never confide in him, but you’re obviously keeping something from him.

he decides to let you rest, offering him enough time to consider his options.

when the sun begins to set, aizawa grows concerned. why are you sleeping so late now? with only solicitous thoughts of you clouding his mind, he shuffles quickly towards your shared bedroom.

creaking the door open, he finds the lights still untouched. “sweetheart?”

his eyes adjust, tracing the outline of your face that’s illuminated by your phone light—which isn’t very bright, probably because you’ve been in the dark all day long.

“hm? oh, sorry. i got stuck on social media.” you end your excuse with a light laugh, not even inching to shut of the device while your eyes lay on him.

he shakes his head and dismisses your words, moving to seat himself on the edge of the bed closest to you. he grasps your hand in his, smiling at you in concern.

“you haven’t been out of the room today, you know? it’s eight o’clock already.”

his voice brings silence with it, you averting your eyes as you can sense what’s ahead of you. scrolling on your phone, you distract yourself unsuccessfully.

“is there something you want to tell me?”

your scrolling pauses for a brief moment, just before you regain yourself and continue. your heart is by your feet and you have no idea where you should take the conversation now.

“i’m—i, uh. fuck, sho. i’m having trouble, alright? that’s all, and i’ll be okay in time. don’t worry about me, please.”

the last sentence drops from your lips and aizawa worries more than ever—those words always come from someone that needs to be worried about.

“quit it. i’m here to help you, not scold you or something. i’m your boyfriend, (y/n), not your mother. i can’t do anything if you refuse my help, but i’m asking you to let me help you.”

your scrolling doesn’t pause this time, it ceases completely. you shut off your phone, the room dimming before you reach for the lamp and switch it on. your vision is a bit blurry and you’re trembling ever-so-slightly, but you respond.

“okay.” with a shaky voice, you nod your head in extra confirmation.

aizawa’s lips turn upwards just lightly, “then it’s a deal. just one more thing, though. i need you to work with me, you have to try, alright? i’ll be here with you for every step, but i need you here as well.”

that’s how it started, you and aizawa both working to turn your episode upside down. two is better than one, right?

“hey, time to get up. i gave you an extra hour, so i expect a kiss after you shower and brush your teeth.”

you sneer, hating the fact that he knows you would’ve preferred to stay in bed and skip those things.

“why not now?” your tone is playful, yet he answers you honestly.

“because it’ll also be a reward for you, sweetheart. now get up, we’re going for coffee.”

the moment the toothpaste reaches your mouth, you gag lightly. after some time without tasting it, the feeling it leaves on your tongue is unfamiliar—aizawa is immediately by your side, brushing his teeth with you.

staring at him through the wide mirror, you smile to yourself. having someone next to you doing the exact same thing effortlessly may not be super comforting, but as he smiles back towards you the world seems just a bit brighter.

he snags your attention through the reflective surface, pointing from you to himself. your eyes leer on him as he counts on his fingers to a certain number, then switches his toothbrush to the other side. he wants you to repeat it, that much you can tell.

as you follow his actions, you turn it into a tiny game for yourself. thirty seconds, done. thirty seconds, done. thirty seconds, done. thirty seconds, aaand completely done.

“that wasn’t so hard, right angel?” he smiles down at you as you flip him off sarcastically.

“actually, it’s easier than i remember it. that might be because you’re here, though.”

critical hit, 98 damage dealt to shota aizawa!

𓆩☆𓆪

feedback is extremely meaningful!

[kaistarus]

Mistexting Mayhem

Pairing: Nishinoya X Reader

Words: 1.6K

Summary: You accidentally send Nishinoya a text that was meant for Yachi and now he’s knows secrets you were hoping he never found out

A/N: If you think this fic is anything but crack you’re wrong lmao I’ve always wanted to write a fic with this style and Noya is great for the chaos i needed. It was fun

Masterlist

[6:40pm] idiot⚡: look y/n without adhd id be too powerful

                         i could beet god himself in handtohand combat

                         god was afraid of my raw fuckin awesomeness wen i bursted from the woom

[6:41pm] y/n: there is so much wrong with what u just said

[6:41pm] idiot⚡: i have absoltly no clue wat

[6:43pm] y/n: put those 3 brain cells to work. I believe in you

[6:43pm] idiot⚡: but theyve reached their daily quota

                          plz there so tired and overworked

You snorted, a dopey smile on your lips as you laid surrounded by textbooks and homework, swinging your feet in the air behind you. You focused intently on the cell phone in your hand doing everything you could to procrastinate the schoolwork around you.

[6:44pm] y/n: noyas so stupid

[6:44pm] yachi❤: i thought you liked him?

[6:45pm] y/n: jeez Yachi. dont come for my throat

                       i cant help that i have bad taste 🙄

[6:46pm] yachi❤: if it helps he tripped over a stray ball today

                               maybe think of that till you don’t like him??

Unfortunately, the image of Nishinoya waving to everyone then biffing it only had you smiling like a dork. How you’d gotten to a point that Nishinoya being an idiot made you swoon, you’ll never know.

You raised your eyebrow suspiciously at the new notification on Snapchat from ‘Tanaka’ and after swiping it open you nearly dropped your phone. Looking back at you was Nishinoya, his head tilted and eyebrow quirked in confusion with a gari-gari kun shoved halfway down his throat. The caption at the bottom reading ‘daaaammn look at your prince charming go 😩’.

You frowned at the picture, letting out a frustrated groan at how your heart accelerated against your ribcage. You quickly tapped out of it and reopened the messenger app.

[6:57pm] y/n: we have to kill Noya

[6:57pm] idiot⚡: we??? what kind of mission is this??? 😤

[6:58pm] y/n: i like him too much. he has to die. its for my own good

You waited impatiently for her response and almost debated doing your homework since it took longer than you felt necessary. You supposed you had suggested murder to Yachi, but still…

When you finally received a response your entire body froze.

[7:11pm] idiot⚡: U LIKE ME?!?!? 😍

                          UR KILLING ME?!?! 😢

                          IM SO CONFUSED......

                          and a lil turned on ngl👀

Your hand covered your mouth in horror as you processed what the hell you had just done. This didn’t happen to people in real life. Mistexting was stuff people made up when they created fake texts for social media to get likes. You didn’t think people actually went through this.

You opened new notifications to escape the hell that stared you straight in the face.

[7:15pm] Tanaka💪: Yo, whatd u do. Whys Noya having a panic attak

[7:16pm] y/n: I accidently texted him instead of Yachi and told him i liked him 😣

[7:16pm] Tanaka💪: O wtf thats hilarious 😂

[7:17pm] y/n: ITS NOT HILArIOUS

[7:18pm] Tanaka💪: Hes askin if its a prank. Wat do i do?

[7:19pm] y/n:I DONT KNOW SDKFHJN IM THE IDIOT WHO STSRTED IT

He stopped responding and you banged your head against your pillow anxiously.

[7:23pm] y/n: YACHI ITOLD NoYA I LKED HIM AND NOU HE NOS WAY DO JI DO!?!????! 😭😭😭

[7:23pm] idiot⚡: THIS ISNT YACHI!!!!

                           HOLY FUKC U DO LIEK ME!!!

You screamed into your pillow. Were you fucking kidding? This could not be happening.

[7:25pm] Tanaka💪: dude, twice? i cant save u now 🤪

[7:25pm] y/n: betraying me in my time of fucking need? i’ll remember this asshole

[7:26pm] Tanaka💪: so vulgar 👀

You growled at Tanaka’s uselessness and bravely peeked through one eye as you went back to your conversation with Nishinoya.

[7:24pm] idiot⚡: STOP IGNORING ME I KNO UR TEXTING RYU

[7:26pm] idiot: IM GONNA KEEP SPAMMING U TILL U ANSWE RME😤

[7:26pm] idiot⚡: 1

                          2

                          3

                          4

                          5

                           6

                           7

                           8

                           9

[7:27pm] y/n: what is this twitch chat? fuck 

[7:28pm] idiot⚡: your heeeeererererreee 🥰

[7:29pm] y/n: soooooo………..

                        clearly there has been a misunderstanding

[7:29pm] idiot⚡: oh nonono. I understand PERFETCLY. u LOVE me

                         its ok. this is a safe space. we can discuss feelings 😌

[7:31pm] y/n: there are zero feelings to discuss

[7:31pm] idiot⚡: then y did u say u like me too much so i have to die?

[7:34pm] y/n: i am filled with rage 🤬

[7:34pm] idiot⚡: rage over how much u liiike me???🥰🥰🥰

[7:36pm] y/n: definitely not

You racked your brain for some kind of reasonable sounding excuse, eventually landing on:

[7:36pm] y/n: It was autocorrect

[7:36pm] idiot⚡: HAH????? FROM?????

[7:38pm] y/n: HAH???

                       ....Nora?

[7:38pm] idiot⚡: Who TF is nora???? 😡

[7:39pm] y/n: someoe i like obviously 😏

[7:40pm] idiot⚡: so u like them but u use my name so much it autocorrected to me? 🤔

[7:44pm] y/n: OK MR DETEcTIVE WHERE TF ARE THES BRAIN CELS COMIN GFROM?

[7:45pm] idiot⚡: i pull them out for special ocasions 😌

[7:45pm] y/n: well how bout you pack those up and put em away

[7:46pm] idiot⚡: how bout two people who LIKE each other SAY something so they can DOOOOOOOO something bout IT 🙄

You began typing a frantic message about how it was none of his business until you processed the message. Then you read it over several times before letting out an audible, “what the fuck.”

[7:50pm] y/n: YOU LIKE ME

[7:50pm] idiot⚡: I FLIRT WITH U ALL THE TIME WAT DO U MEAN yOu LiKe Me!?!

                          FUCKING OBVIOSLY

[7:51pm] y/n: literally when. name one time.

[7:52pm] idiot⚡: I WALK WITH U EVERY MORNING!!!

[7:53pm] y/n: I thought that was a coincidence???

[7:54pm] idiot⚡: I BRNIG U SNACKS DURING LUNCH!!!

[7:54pm] y/n: I thought they were leftovers??

[7:55pm] idiot⚡: …....I call you cute and invite you to my games.

[7:56pm] y/n: you call everyone attractive and i thought there was like a audience quota or something........?

[7:57pm] idiot⚡: ….i cant tell who i should be upset with rn but i think its u 😑

[7:58pm] y/n: WAT WHY!?!

[8:00pm] Idiot⚡: I LIKE U+U LIKE ME=WE LIKE EACH OTHER

[8:01pm] y/n: whoa. slow down. I hate math 😣

[8:02pm] Idiot⚡: ===WE SHUD GO ON A DATE!!!

[8:02pm] y/n: HAH!? i think you started multiplying that addition problem buddy 🤨

Your cheeks were beginning to ache from how wide your dopey grin was. You couldn’t help but tease Nishinoya-it was second nature at this point-even if you now knew your feelings were mutual.

[8:04pm] idiot⚡: i suk at math but thats NOT the point

                         point iiissss i think deep down u want to hang out and cuddle and fall in love

                        maybe even..... 😏 kiiisssss

[8:04pm] y/n: WHOA WHOA WHOA

                        WARN ME BEFORE YOU GET NSFW

                        i would never premarital eye-contact. let alone k🤢ki-🤢🤢kiss🤢🤮🤮

[8:05pm] idiot⚡: well we would have socks on 🙄

[8:06pm] y/n: oh. well if there’s protection

[8:06pm] idiot⚡: Im not a maniac

[8:07pm] y/n: i suppose as long as you dont do something stoopid

                        like faceplant in public

                        that would be humiliating

[8:08pm] idiot⚡: I-

                          who told you that 😠

[8:08pm] y/n: i have spies everywhere noya

                        youre never safe

[8:09pm] Idiot⚡: kinda hot 👀

                         makin me fear for my life like that👀

[8:10pm] y/n: i hate that i like you

                        It kills me inside 

                        i feel braincels leaving with every conversation

[8:12pm] Idiot⚡: fan behavior 😏

                          so am i taking u to eat tomorow or wat?

[8:14pm] y/n: if I HAVE to 🙄

[8:14pm] Idiot⚡: No u GET to

                          I am a fucking delite 😤

[8:15pm] y/n: whatever helps you sleep at night

[8:15pm] Idiot⚡: nothing helps me sleep at night. this mind never rests

[8:16pm] y/n: thinking 24/7 and still not a smart thing comes out of that mouth 👀

[8:17pm] Idiot⚡: yas, bully me more 😫

[8:19pm] y/n: ok thats as much as i can handle for one day......

                       im gonna pretend to do homework

[8:20pm] idiot⚡: okie... good luck my sweet baby pogchamp 🥰

[8:20pm] y/n: no

[8:20pm] Idiot⚡: 😘😘😘

[8:22pm] y/n: 🙄✋

[8:23pm] Idiot⚡: oh FUCK yas 🥵 shut me UP

[8:25pm] y/n: suddenly all i feel is endless regret

[8:26pm] Idiot⚡: i have that effect on people

                          See you tomorrow 🥰🥰🥰

[8:27pm] y/n: unfortunately 😘

[8:27pm] idiot⚡: 🥵

You flung an arm over your eyes and let a small giggle bubble up from your chest. Nishinoya was probably the biggest idiot you’d ever met, but you couldn’t help that thinking of spending time with him had you kicking your feet with excitement.

You supposed you should actually get started on your homework. You reached forward when a notification popped up from Yachi, asking if her idea worked and you had stopped liking Nishinoya.

...you should probably break the news, huh?

[evera6234]

Gotham’s Salty WIP: Chapter I

RATING: T (Teen for cursing and stuff, this may change)

SUMMARY: 

Basically, the typical Daminette with a bit of lime and spice. Borderline crack fic bc i cant without humor. 

Marinette Dupain-Cheng goes to Gotham whilst carrying three years worth of emotional baggage, what she does with it, we don't know. Does she lug it around? Probably. Does she kick it off a skyscraper? Not probable, but maybe. Does she use it to drop kick an unsuspecting liar. Most definitely.                ~~~> EDITED BY OLLIETHETURTLE ON AO3

Transferred from AO3. 

Lemme know if ya wanna be tagged

OK. Umm.. First fic on AO3. K. We doin this, and we starting with this god awful piece of trash. Yes. Life. Fuck. 

Things ur signing up for:

Big boi Mari & Chloe Friendship Good Vibes TM

My ass shitting on Adrien bc im a salty bitch (and if u aint about that life, its ok. U can leave bc im not interested in fighting with people. No offence or disrespect to adrien stans but yea)

And Adrien stalker moments

Lila and Alya salt (plz see “im a salty bitch”)

Shitty update schedule, if any. I’m counting on yall to harass me to write.

Marinette & Jason “sibling-esque” relationship bc we all need that

An obscene amount of cursing (as you can already tell)

The class will not be  “Our singular communal brain-cell is fucking dead, help.” levels of dumb, but still “I have the IQ of a wet potato sack” levels of dumb.

Eventual negation of canon bc we live that life

“Espresso with a dash of Depresso” Moments TM

I'm originally an MLB fan. So do what you will with that info.

The good old “Ozmav AU” but with some lime and spice

As slow burn as I can

Mental Health stuff and the repercussions of having multiple identities treated completely differently

And the crown jewel of this entire fic… Auntie Harley and Ivy.

And….. sorry…. Ppl will kinda be OOC but im trying my very best. 

Tbh I have no idea where this going rn but... i mean… it going somewhere (specifically hell) because everything does. Leave ideas plz, don’t kill me. Just bully me. 

So yea. Lemme know what u want and if I want to, I might just squeeze it into the fic (if it fit ofc, im not just gonna add random 50 year time-lapses). I'll try my best ;)))) (<-- my quadruple chin)

~

Chloe’s head hangs heavy on Mari’s shoulder as the pressurised air surrounding them vibrates with the sounds… of well… a plane. Chloe had a tough couple weeks; late night combat practises with the new team (LB, Hornet, Viperion and Ryuuko) has obviously taken a toll on her partner. Both wrapped in a thick velvet blanket that Chloe remembered to pack (thank kwami) sharing a pair of headphones, both were lulled into a peaceful slumber.

Alya laughs as Lila tips her small glass of diet coke (that a flight attendant painstakingly poured for her) on a sleeping Marinette’s side of Chloe’s blanket, effectively waking her up. “Oopsies! Sorry Marinette! You see, the cabin air has really been worsening my arthritis. I didn’t mean it! I swear! Cross my heart!” apologized Lila with fake concern as Alya giggles beside her. 

Marinette, literally seeing Lila’s crossed figures behind her back says “At least Chloe is still sleeping, she needs the rest.” Alya, Lila and her empty cup saunter beck to their seats nearby. 

~

Mari and her class finally land in Gotham’s cold December night. Freshly hushed into a private shuttle, the class are driven to their hotel. It is late: around 3:30 AM. With heavy eyelids the class gazed out the bus’s windows in awe. The merging view of traffic and Christmas lights chase them to their residence. No one really remembers or knows what happened that night. Just the feeling of falling, be it into a white fluffy hotel comforter or into the crisp Gotham air. 

~

“Oh! My! Gosh!!!” hears Marinette as Lila on the bus to Wayne Enterprise. “I feel so. At. Home!” In Marinette’s tired ears, there were more exclamation marks. 

“Of course… The only thing that can inhabit Gotham alleyways are cockroaches and villains,” Chloe grumbles beneath her breath, looking out the window.

“What have I ever done to you Chloe?” Lila cries, “I understand why Marinette bullies me, she is a jealous and vile girl. But I thought you, Chloe, want to be a better person, not a bully like that bitch, Marinette!”

“How dare you. How dare you. HOW DARE YOU!” Chloe yells as the recent words loop in her mind, 

“Not gonna call your daddy, huh?” Alya taunts. 

Chloe, with tears in her eyes begins, but is quickly interrupted by Marinette, “No she will not. She doesn’t need to. Chloe grew a lot over the last couple months, I’m so proud of her. She doesn’t need your bitch-ass approval.” Marinette grasps Chloe’s hand which previously wrapped itself around the fabric of Chloe’s heavy caramel winter coat.

“Quiet on the bus!”, A yell came from the front.

“But, Mr. Bus Driver… Marinette is being a…”

“Shut it! Y’all want me to kamikaze this shit into a building? I’m guessing y’all value your lives so shut it!” 

“Ms.Guardian, can I please have a cookie?” Pollen softly asks from the inside of Chloe’s giant white faux leather handbag.

“Shh… Pollen! Now’s not the time!!!” stresses Tikki.

“Please Ms. Guardian!!! I’m so so so hungry. This bag isn’t very warm and it’s taking all my energy to keep warm. A lil blubber wouldn’t hurt…. please!!”.

“Of course Pollen,” quietly respond Mari with a grin, “Here you go.” She pulls out a couple cookies from a Tupperware and hands them to Pollen. “Please share them with Tikki,” whispers Marinette into the bag. 

Marinette and Chloe then hears two tiny “thank you”s followed by the sound that can only be described increasingly aggressive chomping. Both girls giggle quietly.

~

“Welcome to Gotham,” says an unenthusiastic man at the front desk. “Congratulations, you are…” He checks his computer. “On time? Interesting.”

“Yes, we are aware,” grumbles Mrs. Bustier, already done with the man’s attitude.

“Okay so before the tour starts I’m doing to need the student who set-up this field trip to sign a couple forms and stuff. Here ya go.” The man pushed a thicc pile of paper into the teachers hand. 

“Oooh! That would be me sir!” Lila chirped, intercepting the papers before skipping back to her posse of her’s. A few seconds after beginning to fill out paperwork Lila cries “Ouch! My wrist! My arthritis! Can someone help me filling out all these form.” 

“I’ll fill them out, I’m only going to need your signatures,” offered Max.

“Thank you Max, you are so sweet!” Lila complements. 

“Of course, your arthritis was badly affected by the altitude yesterday, you shouldn’t be staining your wrist so early!” Max blushed. 

“Maribug, you gonna to say something?” 

“Nah, just watch. Entertainment without a Netflix membership.”

[becca-e-barnes]

pls don’t get tired of me 🥺

i went back to work and everything was bearable and fine but saturday…. i had a good day at work. and i knew i was off today and i was so excited when i got off of work. but i had this feeling in my heart that something was off.

while i was at work, my emotional support dog of almost 4 years was hit by a car. i didn’t find out until late that night when i got home. it happened not even 2 hours after i got to my job. and we love on a dirt road (we’re southern) so they had to be going pretty fast.

my parents met me at our restaurant and we ate and i was happy but mom was quiet. about an hour and a half later we went home. we keep her inside bc she’s so small and dogs have all ready attacked our other dog to get to her in the past, she’s a pure pomeranian but she’s a “throwback” so she’s the original size. well i didn’t hear her scratching on the door like she does when she hears me come home. i go inside and i don’t see her. i call for her bc that’s the first thing i do when i get home. she’s just like a child that i birthed to me bc we are literally inseparable. ik how that sounds but there’s no other way to describe it. i love her like she’s my blood.

as soon as i call her name and look around i get confused bc i don’t see or hear her. mom is acting weird now so she’s like hold on and she gets my dad and she’s holding his hand and begins explaining:

she was outside and she likes to chase the cars that go by and i’m usually the one to tell her to get out of the road or be careful but i wasn’t there. i wasn’t there. mom said it got quiet she couldn’t hear her bark so she looked out side and called and she didn’t come. mom got worried. she happened to look over and see her in the road. trying to get up. but she said her front legs were stiff and her back legs were paralyzed almost bc she couldn’t move them. and mom loves her so much to. she picked her up and started talking sweetly to her, caressing her, holding her.

long story short she IMMEDIATELY hauled ass and hit the road calling any and every vet bc obviously she thought that she had been bitten by a snake, it’s pretty common down here. well anyways that’s how she ended up at the hospital and found out it was a car accident. hanna couldn’t even bark. and she was crying and my mom was crying. and she had to leave her there.

i cant keep going bc i’m too emo and ik it’s too much to read but she’s still there tonight and not doing any better. she might not get to walk again. but if she lives i would build and paint her any prosthetic i could. im so depressed. we all are she is literally our family. i cant live without her. she’s kept me alive for so long. i cant sleep in my bed not only bc of arachnophobia but bc her spot beside me is empty. i feel like a child that i birthed and raised with flesh and blood is in the hospital fighting for her life rn. ppl don’t realize the impact dogs have on us. she is my everything. we got so close that we both have separation anxiety for eachother. i cant function. i stayed on that one spot on the couch that’s right under where she sits on the top to look outside, all day. i couldn’t leave it. i wanted to feel close to her.

what if i lose her? how do i cope? i’m so lost. it feels like she took my heart with her. do you know what i should do? do you know what i’m feeling? everything i see reminds me of her. i still think i can hear her barks outside. im beside myself. i need someone to confide in outside of my mom. i just need you i think.

(i’m sorry if i missed some details or it doesn’t make sense i’m very not myself rn and it’s hard to think)

-r.a.

Oh my god sweetheart, I can’t even begin to imagine the pain you must be in, I truly am so so sorry, you really don’t have it easy at the moment. Literally ready to cry on the train just reading that

I couldn’t even imagine the mess I’d be in if something happened to Belle, I know I wouldn’t cope with it and I really wish there was some way I could help.

But if nothing else, you just have to focus on being strong until you’re able to cuddle her again because I just know she’d hate to think you’re upset without her there to comfort you. You can’t think about what would happen in a worst case scenario, it’ll only make it all so much harder on you and you don’t need that right now. But I know it’s probably the only thing on your mind.

And please make sure you’re taking care of yourself the best that you can. Make sure you’re sleeping and eating and focusing on your own well-being because your body is still probably recovering from that mf spider bite. You really need to be kind to yourself above anything else and if you ever need me a little more urgently, please feel free to dm me, I’ll be here. Please don’t try to handle it by yourself, you don’t need to 💗 sending you endless love and support and I’ll pray for you and your Hanna too if you don’t mind.

Also if you need a few numbers for support services I’m more than happy to find you some. I’m just conscious of the fact I’m not trained or educated enough to help as much as I’d like to so I’m more than happy to find you some professionals if you think that would be useful just to have in case it’s needed

[patchdotexe]

explorers of arvus: heading back / 3.11.21

zoom and enhonse

LAST TIME ON ARVUS taure passed out and we are now down a healer! also we met a disciple of halvkar, and surprisingly did not murder her. this is fine. we have instantly gotten distracted by our various carts. cats. our various cats

DID ANY OF US CATCH TAURE, SHE FELL OVER sieron tried to catch her and smacked charlie+thorne in the face (he rolled a nat1, f) BUT the catboy is to the rescue bc silje is the designated Not Incompetent of the group today

CONSULT THE CHILD hewwo yrel yrel: her mind is being consumed by the serpent of nightmares. :D charlie: HELLO?????//

so, dendar(?) the night serpent is imprisoned beneath arvus! she was formed from the nightmares of the first sentient being, and sometimes she eats people's nightmares. if she's exceptionally hungry, she'll force nightmares onto people for her to feed off their fear. yrel thinks taure will Probably wake up. there's a thing on arvus mentioned by the locals called a "sleeping sickness" where people will fall asleep for a few days, sometimes longer, but will wake up. its magical in cause, the people afflicted by it have horrific nightmares, and its just kinda. a thing. wowza

(i have gone back to spelling yrel's name as yrel bc i think it looks nice)

OH HEY SOMEONE POSTED A THEORY ON ONE OF MY STICKMOLUS ANIMATIONS man i should get back to stickmolus sometime. once dsmp releases its awful grip on me.

i keep getting distracted by seeing myself in the camera preview. i have a tooth gap! what the fuck its cute?? K I KNOW WE'RE SUPER BLURRY IN FRONT RN BUT PLEASE HELP ME STAY FOCUSED I SWEAR -leo

we're gonna build a sled! to put taure on. thorne: i have a good strength score. ....i say, out loud charlie: i am four feet tall. [cue argument between thorne & sieron about them both being horcs but sieron has a +0 bc strength is his dump stat] OH, OKAY, THORNE ROLLED A NAT20 TO CARRY TAURE. NICE

[discussion about what to tell everyone at camp vengenace] thorne: the last thing we need to do is a witch hunt charlie: --and we already hunted the witch! the witch has been hunted.

time to discuss strategy! we need to figure out how to head back to camp vengeance, eg if we want to follow the path we already took or if we wanna do some trailblazing. looks like we're gonna try and take the most direct path! which means we'll prolly risk tangoing with some undead but im willing to risk it TINY HUT STAIRCASE sorry i just remember it now and then

nyx: [meowing at his cats] thorne: uh... why is silje meowing? jorb: silje's food bowl is empty jorb: you look at silje's food bowl and there's a divot in the middle and the food is all on the sides emotionally, we must bully the catboy silje saw something interesting and started meowing

thorne: ill take first watch silje: ill also take first watch. charlie: [quietly] gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy (but, like, extended for 15 seconds)

silje: [takes watch] [rolls a nat1 and gets distracted by looking at his crush]

THORNE HAS LOCATED A DOG the dog does not give a shit about the tiny hut. THE DOG HAS PEED ON THE TINY HUT goodbye dog

EVERYONE IS ROLLING AT LEAST 1 NAT1 thorne: wow! that sure is a dog. thorne has drawn the worst possible dog. thorne has erased the worst possible dog. we dont speak of the worst possible dog its the dog version of honse. DONSE

sieron is now on watch! MAN we are havin trouble rolling today. at least kali's here to make sure sieron doesnt stare at a rock for 50000 years sieron sees a mouse! bottom text

charlie is now on watch! kali is havin a big ol thonk. nothing meaningful has come of this

i am perceiving some deer. sieron is not perceiving some deer. silje is perceiving some deer, but better the deer are fucked up and undead! silje has gone from "we should hunt these deer for food" to "we should hunt these deer for sport"

charlie: i do not feel like being jumped by five thousand skeletons

charlie takes first watch with sieron! WHY ARE OUR ROLLS SO TERRIBLE taure is super cursed right now. that's not very pog charlie: this place sucks. thorne: to be fair, we havent-- charlie: YOU'RE ASLEEP, SHUT UP

oh hey coolname galvanic finally partied. nice.

thorne is at watch! solar: hey, is leomund's tiny hut an orb? there's a critter digging around! AH, THE CRITTER IS UNDEAD. this could be a problem

solar: hey michael, how much does the horrific sin against god dog i drew look like this creature michael: [dice roll noises] about 50%.

michael: if anyone likes, they can make a nature check-- solar: ME MEMEMEMEME ME ME ME

its a bulette! aka a land shark. problem: they are not normally undead. this one is undead.

jorb: imagine if you could tame one of those and use it as a mount. leo: IT WOULD JUST DIG UNDERGROUND AND LEAVE YOU THERE

we are just calling it a weird dog

we're going to mail a letter to the heart of arvus. HEY, CHECK OUT THIS WEIRD DOG,

JORB FOUND ART OF A BABY BULETTE. WEIRD PUPPY!

solar: hey guys, check out this sick art of a bulette i found

silje kept a lookout for the weird dog but its just fucked off. goodbye, weird dog give it up for day 3!

man there's been like, three incinerations today in blaseball. what's up with that. I SWEAR IM MOSTLY PAYING ATTENTION its just been an eventful day in blaseball. also im wearing my garages bomber rn. jaylen is home wooOOOO the wind smells stinky. this is fine.

we're actively avoiding whatever combat michael keeps nudging at us bc we're carrying around an unconscious person and i SWEAR hes gonna throw something directly at us once he's done with our shenanigans

UHH MICHAEL ASKING FOR PASSIVE PERCEPTION LOL

huh. this place used to be inhabited? we're in the woods rn but there's some like, stone ruins? like, VERY ruins. like, not really any structures standing, but enough evidence to show there Were things. WE FOUND A STATUE charlie: i want to smash my face against the lore.

used to be a circle of standing stones, but most of em fell over or got overgrown. inside of the circle has been cleared, although v roughly-- ground's torn up statue is of fjolnir! warrior holding up a spear and shield. AH, THERE ARE CORPSES, a human got REAL fucked up here. one of the corpses is straight up impaled on fjolnir's spear. n ... not pog.

i am trying so, so hard to pay attention. but i also kinda wanna take a nap.

charlie: [stares at statue] [rolls a 4] i wonder if he had a dick.

okay so something rolled in, tore up the overgrowth inside the circle, and murdered a couple dudes. and was also super tall and human-adjacent. hrm.

oh my god why are we rolling so shit today. time to stealth away and hope we dont get casually dismembered

k: jorb's hair is so long... leo: K, PLEASE,

time for a break! i am very tired but im gonan see if i can push through a little further. nyx is petting his cat why do orangatangs look like that

first watch is thorne and sieron! have they even, like, talked thorne unhabby ): thorne's worried we were tresspassing when checking out the statue, meanwhile im thinking about that one time when sieron got bit by a groundhog

(oh my god this is from late 2018)

leomund's tiny hut, aka the anti-sea bear circle we are getting SO much mileage out of the tiny hut. SILJE HUMS A SONG WITH KALI cute........... FINALLY I HAVE ROLLED ABOVE A 14 wait no i rolled a 16 twice. anyway we are not dead

nearly at camp vengenace! boy howdy i hope camp vengeance didnt get burned down. AH FUCK TAURE IS UNCONSCIOUS SO WE CANT CAST FOR DETECT POISON kaepora nearly made us all shit ourselves but its okay he just saw some bison and thought it was cool Michael Is Consulting Several Tables

WHY DOES JORB'S CAMERA ZOOM LIKE THAT why am i hungry. i have so many questions

HEY, TALL GUY [smacks sieron]

camp vengeance looks better! like, nobody's Obviously Sick anymore, the medical tents arent overfilled, we did it! we saved the dayyyyyy time to report to ryder! taure's getting dropped off at the medical tent

man remember when charlie didnt wear pants

oh man, with taure unconscious charlie is now taking point with social interaction. wild. jk im making jorb do it bc im tired HAHA NAT 20 PERSUASION BC OF ME HELPIN SIERON man ryder is such a cock. he was totally ready to keep throwing troops at heaven's brazier to die until we managed to persuade him out of it. jorb: did we tell ryder about the vision? michael: you kinda just took a look at him and went STINKY BOY!

okay yeah anything that dies on arvus will just pop back up as undead. man, arvus sucks.

ryder: alright, dismissed. charlie: seeya, soldier boy! :D hahahahaha im gonna eat his knees.

SILJE NEEDS ENRICHMENT IN HIS ENCLOSURE

charlie: ive decided he sucks. silje: we've already arrived to that, you're late!

LMAO WE WALKED IN ON INGRID AND HER CRUSH they fuckin. nice. you go, you funky lesbian

jorb: we've got the tiny hut, we could go anywhere leo: we could go to SPACE! nyx: we could not go to space. leo: WITH A TINY HUT STAIRCASE, WE CAN,

we are 320 miles away from the spaceship that exists on arvus. nice.

michael: justin sees you-- roll a strength saving throw. leo: i cant wait to die! [rolls a 3] I AM CRUSHED BY MY DOG michael: he rolled a nat20.

BOSS ENCOUNTER: CHARLIE'S DOG (the small circle next to him is one of the medical tents.)

THORNE IS PACT OF THE GUN solar: PARRY THIS, YOU FUCKING CASUAL

sieron, to ingrid: seems like youve been doing well charlie: i punch sieron. sieron: sieron: the camp, of course.

man we have no idea if the heart of arvus is actually related to the prophecy or not. theres a Lot of stuff lining up, but not enough, and its hard to say how much of it couldve been literal?

solar & michael: [discussing exposition] me: [cracking up bc penn sent me a funny dsmp joke]

prophecies are weird.

charlie is just s she is just sitting here SILJE PLAYED CARDS REALLY GOOD AT ME nyx rolled a nat20 and took all my money

oh cool we can talk to yrel telepathically! time to hoist yrel. THIS IS SO SCUFFED thorne mentioned yrel and now we're trying to explain to ingrid that we have a magic talking snake charlie: I WANT TO GO HOME. thorne: we cant go, we have a GOD-KING to kill! "i think theyre insane, theyre talking to a snake" "ingrid, druids exist" "oh. im gonna go back to getting railed by my 7 foot tall girlfriend"

[sailorhyunjinz]

hi cherry a little vent if that's OK w u

so on this app I had 2 people who I had notifs on for, you and my fav sfw writer right? over time though I realized I didn't actually like that person as an author I just got really attached because they were the first blog I was anon on and they responded well. but like 👁👄👁 recently they've been downplaying skz alot tbh and I don't mean in a critique way, in a way where they were saying certain things were just plain bad with little to no valid explanation and just being overall nasty? I think that might be what made me realize that I didn't actually like them a ton tbh, I unfollowed them today cause I got a notif from them and it was a post saying the song that is currently my favorite was bad and didn't deserve a mv :// obv that post wasn't directed at anyone I just think I got tired of only seeing negative things about the boys when I open their blog. I also would find myself going directly to ur blog after reading shitty stuff on their blog because this place is just a place full of general excitement and support, I really enjoy it. but anyways uh, I wanna thank u for being such a cool author and for supporting the boys the way u do :) the author I'm referring to was never directly slamming on the boys themselves, but they just never seemed to have anything good to say yk? I really enjoy being here way more

also congrats on now being the only blog I have notifs on for luv <3

ok end rant//

anyways

my sleep schedule is still utterly fucked in every way, I got distracted trying (and succeeding!!) at making a Kandi cuff but by the time I was done it was 4:30 am so now im just chilling watching anime for now till I feel like getting up for school. since it's so early maybe ill stop at mickydees otw 😌😌

also, I've been streaming literally all day and the new album is SO GOOD BRO SJDJJXDHE

I was expecting something really sad from silent cry and star lost but BRO?? 10/10 think star lost will be the Blueprint of this era

and CHRISTOPHER? mans said nah fuck the shirt yall get bandages take it or leave it

AND I MEAN OBVIOUSLY TAKE IT

also I don't think words can express how down fucking bad I am for seo changbin like 😫😫 please Mr seo just one chance

and like skz making us think the beginning of the unveil for domino was the beginning of the song feels like they're laughing at us rn like zjjxjd ALSO DOMINO IS SO GOTDAMN FUCKING GOOD HOLY FUCKING DUCK the like high pitched thingy he does for like two syllables (idk how to describe it I'm sorry??) is SO HOT I CANNOT

awwwh >:((( DAMN I FEEL SO HONORED BRO THANK YOUUUU <33 ah but i kinda feel bad for your phone HASHSAH WHEN I START SPAMMING SHIT- nah but seriously thank you <33

i mean i can understand that its not everyones favorite album, i really liked it but we cant all have the same opinion can we but theres a difference between constructive criticism and just being mean SO im happy that you noticed the difference and just kinda,,, dont try to associate with people that dont have anything positive to say.

my god your poor sleep schedule,,, DONT U HAVE SCHOOL?? HOW THE FUCK DO U EVEN SCHOOL BRO

also yes can we just say that both silent cry and star lost are amazing songs?? i really like songs with those kinda,,, vibes so i was pleasantly surprised and i just think that everyones vocals fit those songs as well <333 but if we talking favorite song here mine is probably cheese?? idk something about that songs is very unique,,, its fresh, it doesnt sound like anything ive heard before and the concept is very cool and fitting for skz so i just love it, love love love!!! <33

[hunchoskeazo]

Chapter 3 “The Breakdown”

“So its been a few days that ive been in this hospital and aint heard from nobody wtf is up.?” As i sat there and thought because what else am I suppose to do.

*Picked up the phone and called Rik*

*Ring*

*Ring*

*Ring*

*No Answer*

( Called Ashley)

*Ring*

*Ring*

Ashley:Hello

AJ:Ashley!

Ashley:Hey Boo How you doing I been up there but you was sleep so i was gonna comeback today.

AJ:Oh... You been up here to see me?

Ashley:Why wouldn’t I? She asked so confusingly.

AJ:Oh... Nah i just aint know you came up here....They say I can get discharged tomorrow you gonna come get me..? I asked

Wait.. where is my car hold on..

(I checked my app)

“Yes i have a tracking device on the whip A nigga like me gots to.”

AJ:Oh its outside in the parking garage... Who drove it here.? You did.? I said with concern 🤔

Ashley:Uhhh no rik drove it up there...

Aj:Oh ok... (How she know that I thought to myself but didnt say nothing).“Well ight wyd rn”

Ashley:Nothing Missing you she said. She gave me the cutest look when she said that.

AJ:Dont be saying it like that girl i said with a smirk on my face.

Ashley:Ha Whyy? And Do you still need me to come get you?

AJ:Oh yeah actually leave your car imma send you a uber come here and we’ll drive my car.

Ashley:Oouu yes Ok ill be there in the morning.

AJ:Ight Bet

(Phone Hangs Up at the same time the doctor walks in and some man in a suit.)

I grimmed him “Who tf is you?” i said with a aggressive tone.

Detective:Hello Mr.Davis My name is Detective Johnson(He put his hand out for me to shake it)

(I just looked at him and his hand.)

Detective Johnson:Oookkkk then anyway. Im here for your case to try and figure out and find the person that did this to you.

“Nah Im good bro bro”

Detective John: Whether you good or not Im still on the case and im here til its closed. So either you gonna let me help you because as of right now your an innocent victim. Or you can become a prime suspect Your choice.!

“Man whatever” I said with a attitude like a bad bitch😂😂😂

DetectiveJ:Oh ok thats what i thought now can you tell me what happened.(He pulls out his pad and pen.)

“I went to visit my mans and someone started shooting next thing i know i woke up here”

Detective:(Writing on the pad) Ok who is your mans? He asked

(Dead Silence)

Detective:You gonna answer the question Mr.Davis?..

(Dead Silence)

Detective:Ok We’re done for the day Thanks Doc we’ll be in touch and i will be seeing you very soon mr davis. (He hit the back of his pen on the pad and put them both in his pocket. Right before he walked out the door He said...)

Stay Safe Mr.Davis (He side eyed me with a smirk and walked out)

Doc:Why was you not cooperating with the detective?

“I dont move like that doc” i said with a nonchalant tone.

Doc:But he’s here to protect you and help you.

“I dont need help or protection this some street shit i gotta handle that the feds cant handle the only thing they get out of it is a ceremony and funeral that they family and coworkers gotta plan for them so no i dont need they help.”

Doc: Smh just dont learn... You know what can i tell you something? She asked

“Yea go ahead” as i stared out the window.

Doc:I get alot of patients just like you in here from gang violence and me being a young black doctor its hard. Seeing young black kings lose their lives in my hands because of the streets it breaks my heart everytime.

(Guilt knocked down that brick wall of pride i had built up just moments ago.)

Im going to just say this one thing before i leave out this door just please cooperate please, because i see something in you and obviously you are on gods green earth for a reason. So please cooperate but get some rest before you leave tomorrow i will come check on you 1 last time before i let you go ok.

“I looked at her and shook my head and said “Ight I gotchu doc”

Doc:Ok Bye Mr.Davis she said so innocently and walked out the door.

(I laid back moments later the nurse walks in and looks at me with a grumpy look)

“Aye you the one that forcefully put me to sleep man you betta not be coming in here to that shit again and you in here by yourself aww hell nah this old lady about to rape me I cried out.”

Nurse:Boy shut yo ass up i dont want you im married.

“SO” i yelled out🤔

Nurse:I am about to put you to sleep tho(She hurried and grabbed the IV and injected the sleep juice in it.

“Wait wait let me—-

(Right before i fell asleep i heard the door open)

——:Pay close attention to the people around you adrian....

(It got dark)..

“I popped up it’s the next morning Dr.taylor and the nurse are already in the room.

Doc:Hello Mr Davis are you ready to go home? She said with a big smile on her face.

“Yea I am actually”(Picked up my phone and texted ashley and sent her money for the uber)

Ashley:Ok imma be on my way in 15 mins.

Doc:Ok let me finish up your paperwork and you can get dressed and leave.

“Ok” I said

As she finished my work i thought to myself was I dreaming or did someone actually come in here and say that to me.... “Fuck It” i said out loud.

Doc:Whats that..?

“Oh oh nothing” I looked at my calls Rik called me but its not a missed call...

Wtf maybe i answered but was still sleep. I hate when people call me while im sleep man.

(I called back no answer)

Ashley:Im omw babe.

I texted back “Ok im about to get dressed im just waiting on them to get done with my paperwork.

Ashley:Ok im omw.

Doc:Ok heres your discharge papers and your prescriptions that you pick up later on today ok...

(She hands me the papers)

Doc:Ok im going to let you get dressed ill be out here when you leave.

“Ight thanks doc i really appreciate you and everything you do.”

(She blushed and clutched her clipboard said thank you and walked out the room.)

“YOU LEAVE TO LADY” i said jokingly loud

(The nurse giggled walked out and shut the door i hopped up and locked it to make sure she fasho couldn’t comeback in and went to the bathroom.)

*15 mins later*

I walked out the bathroom from a hot shower someone knocked on the door.

“COME IN” i yelled

(They jiggled the knob)

Lmao “Oh yeah I forgot i locked the door”

(I unlocked and opened its ashley she walked in smiling and smelling good than a mothafucka with a couple bags in her hand.)

“Ooouueeee who told you to come up here like that red bottoms on, hair laid, lashes on eyebrows done, cleavage out wassup.”

She said “Boy stop it” as she was blushing hard. “Look I got you some stuff to put on everything i just bought yesterday.

(Breds ,Purple brand all black Jeans and a red/black vlone shirt)

“Ight bet”

(Before i was just about to reach for the stuff)

“UNHT UNHT you not gonna give me a hug first damn can i at least get a thank you..!!

I smirked “You right you right im sorry babygirl”

I hugged her and wrapped my arms around her and grabbed her ass she hugged me so tight and she smelled so good I wanted to eat her. She kissed me on my neck i sat down on the bed and pulled her close to me by her hips we started kissing.

She tongue’n the kid down i started to get hard through my towel she felt that and grabbed me and slowly started kissing me from my neck down my chest to my 6 pack...😏

*Knock Knock Knock*

She jumped up i jumped up “UH YEAH COME IN” i yelled

Doc: Its me i have one more thing to give you so stop by the desk before you leave ok.

“Ight i gotchu doc”

(Door shuts i gasped and we looked at eachother and laughed)

“Yea let me hurry up n get dressed” and looked down at mini me and said.

“Control yo self man”

She sat down and crossed her legs, bit her lip and fucked me with her eyes. I grabbed my stuff and went in the bathroom and got dressed.

(Moments later) “Ight im ready”

We grabbed all of our stuff and walked out.

“Im about to stop at this desk realquick”

“Ok” she said and walked ahead”

“Ok whats the deal doc” i asked

“Here (She gave me a card) look on the back”

It was a sticky note with a number and a name on it. I looked down the hall at ashley she was looking the other way. I looked back at doc.

“Call me whenever you need something...Anything..”

I hesitated at first then said “Ok i gotchu” and walked away.

(Caught up with ashley)

“Whats that in your hand?”

“Oh its a card she said to call them if i have any questions about anything....”

(I hurried and put the card in my pocket.)

“Unht unht give it here let me see the bitch probably put her number on the back”

“Man what” i started laughing

“Give it here” she yelled

I pulled the card out my pocket she look at both sides.

“Mmhm sneaky ass” she said in slight disappointment. “Let me find out you fuckn her.”

“Come on na babygirl” i smirked and we walked to the car..

After a long day of shopping eating and talking shit we go back to her crib.

“Omg im so tired and my feet hurt” she cried out

I laughed and said “I bet they do”

“Boy shut the fuck up you always talking shit” she said so agitated.

“I walked over to her and said say it to my face”

“Boy fuck you”

(I picked her up and carried her to the room)

“Put me down Aj you gonna drop me stop playing.” She yelled out.

I threw her on the bed and got on top of her and started kissing on her she immediately calmed down and relaxed her body n started kissing me back. She placed her hand on the back of my neck while my hand maneuvered my way between her legs.

“Oh you ready ready” i leaned up and said

She smirked and grabbed my hand and put my fingers in her mouth.

“Oml”�� this girl so freaky i think thats why i love her.😂

She hopped up off the bed and walked real slow and sexy to the bathroom while taking her clothes off at the same time.

“Come here daddy” she demanded and waltzed in the bathroom.

“Oh you aint gotta tell me twice” i hopped up so fast i fell flat on my face pants to my ankles shirt halfway on.😂 Its up there.

I walked in the bathroom she already hot and wet. Im about to fuck this girl like a dog.

I stepped in and stood right in front of her she looking up at me and im looking down at her.

I grabbed her neck kissed her i picked her up and Pinned her to the wall and started sucking on her neck she wrapped her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck and moaned in my ear.

Now yall know when a female moan in my ears it do something to me.

I couldn’t wait i was so hard i was throbbing.

I stuck my dick inside of she gasped.

I went in slow to open her up she so warm and tight.

“Fuuuck” i said slow and low my strokes became faster her grip became tighter, she dug her nails in my back.

I went faster and deeper her moans became louder.

“Ahh AJ” she moaned

I just knew i was about to be a father.

“Fuck it” I said out loud and released.

“Dammnn“ i said outta relief because i just released so much stress.

“Damn the hospital fixed you up you aint never did that before.” She said while she finished showering.

“No cap”😂

We both finished showering she got out before me but i felt the vibes change mins later before she got out.

I finished up turned the shower off and grabbed my towel and walked out the bathroom.

“Whats up?” I asked out of concern.

“........Im not ready AJ..”

“😕Wow You not ready....Why?”

I sat on one side of the bed she sat on the other side.

“Ive been taking birth control pills”

“Man what!!! When was you gonna tell me this we just talked about this a few weeks ago and you said you was ready.” I yelled

“Well yeah that was before you stopped answering my calls and stopped being over or around me all the time.” She cried out

“Ive been working you know that.”

“AJ you know ive been told that before ive been in this same situation before and the person i was in that situation with fasho not you obviously im just scared to go back down that road because im still dealing with that by myself you have to give me that.” She said with a scratchy voice as if she was about to cry.

I started to feel guilty again by another women.

It became dead silent...

“🤔You know i never understood why mothafuckas let otha mothafuckas hold them back from their blessings that they asked for... that they been praying for... A mothafucka standing RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF YOU”

“Maybe Im too genuine.. Maybe I aint what she want..Maybe...”

“Man Fuck this shit” I said while jumping up and storming to the living room.

“WHAT” she yelled

(She jumped up right behind me and chased after me.)

I pounced on the couch and turned the game on.

She came and stood right in front of me with her hand on her hip silk robe half way open, skin soft and shiny with the meanest sexiest look on her face.

“AJ really this what you gonna do while we talkin.?”

*Pat Tap Tap* Controller Buttons

She scooted over in front of the tv.

“Man Move” i said in agitation

She dropped her robe and i dropped my bottom lip Along with the controller.😂

“You ready to listen now?”

“Yes maam” i said with such thirst that i was ready for whatever.

I laid back on the couch and she climbed on top of me and was under a spell after that.

What can I say Imma sucka😋😁

Fb:HunchoSkeazo

Ig: HunchoSkeazo

Tumblr:HunchoSkeazo

Youtube:Huncho Skeazo

We The Future Ent Copywrite 2020

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

just gonna rant about my health issues to no one in particular for a bit under the cut sooo

im just so fucking tired of being sick all the time like. its been almost 2 years now of actively Going To Doctors And Having Tests Done And Trying To Get A Diagnosis and fucking!!! nothing works!!! and i only have until the end of this coming school year to get it figured out before my insurance runs out otherwise im just fucked!!! because im sure as hell not gonna be able to afford a fucking mri every six months making 10 bucks an hour at some retail shithole but so far ive seen SIX different fucking doctors (not counting 2 ER visits) because they all just keep shuffling me back and forth like “idk maybe have someone else deal with this? weird lol” or like “have you considered that maybe you might have anxiety :) you seem stressed :)” 

like yeah its a fucking stressful situation getting progressively fucking sicker for two goddamn years wasting thousands of dollars and reaching the end of a fucking ticking clock because almost every doctor ive seen is an incompetent jackass who does NOTHING but waste my time and money and then fucking condescend to me about anxiety like!!! yeah i probably DO have anxiety and depression and autism and what the fuck ever else but this isnt THAT 

and the literal ONE TIME i had ANY treatment that worked AT ALL helping with my eye spasms (literally One of Many Symptoms that i deal with on a fucking daily basis that still manages to completely fuck up my life) is something i cant take anymore because it damaged my fucking eyes!!! possibly permanently!!! i already HAD issues wtih light sensitivity that this medicine made WAYYY fucking worse and guess whats one of the WORST things at setting off my eye spasms??? anything to do with fucking light so YEAH thANKS for that @ the opthalmologist who had me take those damn eye drops for two months straight, which other neuro opthalmologist said was bullshit when i saw her again, not that im letting HER off the hook either since she REFERRED me to that incompetent bitch in the first place and then had NO solution other than “hm well you definitely shouldnt take that medicine again, but theres literally No Other Treatment, maybe blow another $400 in a few months to come see me again so i can continue to Not Help You In Any Way”

and its getting wORSE ALL THE TIME!!! and the best thing doctors can think of is “hm well maybe wait a bit to see if it gets worse? and maybe then we’ll know what it is?” well its getting worse!!!! but they still dont seem to know what it is!!! like at first it was just my vision going out of focus for a few seconds at a time, then it was a few minutes, then i was having visual distortion (or maybe hallucinations? who knows! certainly not any of the fucking doctors ive seen!), then awful fucking eye strain headaches, then spasms in my neck, then my jaw, then my arms, then my legs, now all fucking over, and now i get sick and dizzy just by moving my HEAD too far or too suddenly and like at work earlier today i was just stumbling around for two hours bc there was too much pressure in my head and everything felt tilted and i was just grabbing at every surface trying not to fall with my head like on my shoulder bc keeping my neck straight was too fucking hard and i swear to fuckign god a couple nights ago there was this weird buzzing on the side of my face??? and like it felt like my mouth was moving slower than it should??? but i dont even KNOW if thats a Real SymptomTM or if i was just freaked out and tired and imagining things or if i really am just getting to be a paranoid delusional nutcase about my health because every little thing terrifies me at this point, like ive been coughing for a couple weeks and instead of being like “oh its a bad cold” im like “maybe now my immune systems fucked up too maybe this is A New Symptom” i literally cant tell anymore i have no fucking idea 

and i dont WANT to think about all this All The Fucking Time but i do!!!!! i literally HAVE to bc it affects my life in every fucking possible way and i cant escape it like even rn the light from the fuckign computer is hurting my eyes and i cant even see what im typing half the time bc my eyes keep going out of focus and my teeth keep chattering and my head hurts or ill go to get a drink of water but then just Stand there for a few minutes bc i dont trust myself to hold a cup full of water and not spill it bc im having spasms or ill have to wear sunglasses at the dinner table bc my fucking idiot asshole dad got the BRIGHTEST possible lightbulbs for the dining room and i physically cant stand them 

or like im already dreading having to explain all this shit to my professors this semester about how like “oh so i probably wont be able to keep up with daily readings, especialyl not if theyre on physical paper and i cant scale up the text because my eyes just spontaneously stop working and i cant read..... and ill need a computer to take notes, i can Usually hold a pencil but one time i had a spasm in class and flung it across the room and it was super embarrassing and i ltierally skipped that class for weeks because of it so id really rather not deal with that again.... and even though im a fuckign AMAZING public speaker like, state champion debate level public speaking, ill still probably get super fucking nervous and suck at any kind of in class presentation bc ill just be thinking about my spasms the whole time and wont be able to focus....... and ill have to wear sunglasses all the time too so hopefully thats not an issue........ and also ill probably miss a lot of class bc whether or not i can handle walking half a mile Varies Wildly from day to day and also i have a lot of doctors appointments and sometimes im on medicine that completely ruins my sleep schedule so you know... looking forward to a great semester, hope i dont completely fail your class” 

and i have fuckign work tomorrow where ill have to deal with trying to pretend like even the most minor tasks arent painful and difficult and deal with awful btichy entitled customers complaining that im not SMILEY enough for you like the motherfucker who asked me how i was and i said fine and he was like “jUuUUuuuST fINE” like shut the everlasting FUCK UP with that ive met my obligation leave me ALONE my day isnt FINE im in awful pain and i HATE you and everyone like you or ill have to deal with my coworkers giving me weird looks while im having spasms or outright MOCKING me for them like the asshole that called me TWITCH (and a whore, but thats Another Fucking Story) or just not knowing how to deal and making bad taste jokes like when my teeth are chattering bc I Physically Cant Make It Stop like “haha are you chewing an invisible piece of gum lol” like no bitch im a neurological nightmare and my brain doesnt work and im Barely Holding Together would you PLEASE shut the fuck up 

and most of the time i just feel like everyone thinks im a fucking freak like even just sitting in the waiting room to see the neurologist or opthalmologist or whatever and everyone else there is Old and im the only person even remotely close to my age there and even the doctors dont seem to take me that seriously bc of it like “oh shes young, cant be that bad, all these old people out here are gonna die like tomorrow so why worry about this girl, its probably just anxiety from being on her period or having a test to study for lol” like straight up when the movement disorder neurologist was examining me she was like “im not used to seeing anyone this young or healthy’ and i know she meant it relatively speaking but like!!! clearly im NOT healthy or i wouldnt BE here like obviously something is wrong with me and its ruining my life and its serious and id like it fixed thanks!!!!! 

and i feel like No One Gets It like, obviously there are people wayyyy sicker than i am who suffer a lot more or people in similar situations but like. i dont Personally Know someone like that i can just talk to and like, of course i have friends who can Listen but.................................. theres a difference from being able to listen and being able to actually Understand and sometimes you just cant Get It unless youve gone through it like i really dont think ANYONE in my life has any idea how serious this is or how much it affects me and i know i cant expect everyone to just Always Think Of My IssuesTM but little things!!! like maybe NOT having the brighest possible lightbulbs in the dining room!!!! my brother NOT having his birthday party at dave and busters, which i had TONS of spasms at last time i went (and im even worse now!) AND the staff gave me shit about wearing sunglasses so now im nervous about That too or just! idk! people respecting and listening to me when i tell them that i Cant Do Something or that Doing That Thing Hurts and not just brushing me off or telling me im overreacting and then getting all shocked pikachu face when their dumbassery actually physically HURTS me and i get pissed with them for it!!!!

i dont think anyone gets how much it scares me all the time or how its Always on my mind and i literally cant think about anything else like. this could be the rest of my life. this could end my life. i dont know what i have. i might get diagnosed in the next month and have it completely cured, i might get a diagnosis and still be sick forever, i might not find out until its too late and i have LITERALLY NO FUCKING IDEA WHICH ONE!!!! ITS GREAT!!!!!!!! WELCOME TO MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bazzledazzled]

I’m not going to lie to you I am 100% pulling these headcanons from the spam of messages i sent @waywardpadaleski​ but I saw Voltron Hogwarts AUs floating around and I decided to make headcanons because I love this idea ive also doodled stuff and may post some or write something just not rn

OKAY SO

pretty much the houses just go with their lions— but lance is special snowflake im sorry i know i sound like one of those uber annoying lance stans that shove da boi down everyones throats i cant help it i love him but bare with me this makes sense

Okay so Keith is in Gryffindor because ofc he would

Pidge is Slytherin

Hunk is Hufflepuff

Allura is totally a Ravenclaw

What about Lance, you ask? Well u know how JK Rowling said that there’s things called “Hat Stalls” where people took longer than 5 min to get sorted???

Ye well Lance is one of THOSE

It would work with canon if you think about it because he kinda is stuck between the red lion and the blue lion and like-- I know keef is the same way with the black lion but shush

SO ANYWAYS

the sorting hats dilemma is that he’s smart and has the means to excel in Ravenclaw, but at the same time he’s outrageously brave like a Gryffindor

(MY BOI IS SMART FITE ME)

So the hat doesn’t know what to put him in

Then the sorting hat comes to the conclusion that while he could do great in Ravenclaw, he wouldn’t reach his full potential unless he was a Gryffindor (*COUGH* LIKE CANON)

Sooooo-- Pidge is like a year or two behind Hunk, Lance, and Keith because y’know, shes younger and stuff and she kinda gets into the group because of her older brother

THATS RIGHT MATTS HERE

So Matt is a Ravenclaw and him and Shiro are besties ofc

(Shiros Gryffindor sorry I forgot to mention it)

Matt was also a Hat Stall because when i was thinking about his house i couldn’t decide between Ravenclaw, Slytherin, or Gryffindor

But he’s Ravenclaw cuz it fits in with an Adashi thing im gonna bring up later

ANYWAYS

Shiro is also Keith’s older brother, they’re not biological siblings, its just Keefs dad was friends with shiros parents and when he passed away the Shiroganes adopted him 

Shiro is ANNOYED because Keith and Lance are always fighting with each other in the commons and he just wants to read his book in peace

Now here comes the Adashi

Okay okay so Adam is Ravenclaw

I know we barely know anything about Adam (*glares at s7*) BUT based on stuff and how the fanon Adam is, I’m saying he’s Ravenclaw

So anyways

Let’s get to Quidditch because that’s part of the Adashi part of this AU

Keef is a Gryffindor Seeker because like-- he go vroom

I lowkey am making Lance a Keeper not only cuz he would be good at it but also cuz of those cheesy shirts that say things like “He’s a Keeper” and “She’s a Catch” 

Shiro is a Chaser

Pidge and Hunk I think would be Beaters???? Idk

OH! James Griffin is also a Slytherin Seeker byeeee

Adam is the Ravenclaw Keeper

Headcanon is if theres one thing Lance and Adam have in common, its that they can make people flustered very easily 

So ya know what Adam does, much to Shiro’s annoyance???

He flirts with him

Whenever they have games that are Ravenclaw vs. Gryffindor Adam will flirt with Shiro, winking at him, yelling stuff across the field, making Shiro so flustered he can’t throw straight (pun intended)

One time Adam gets Shiro so flustered he drops the ball

Matt, a Beater, high fives him

OH! Also Allura is a Chaser and she’s like the best Chaser in the school FITE ME

Okay thats enough of quidditch 

Okay so as for family lineage and stuff

Shiro, Lance, and Hunk are muggleborns

They just are

Shiro’s parents knew about Magic because of keef and were surprised when they found out Shiro was a wizard

Lance is the only wizard in his family and he gets homesick a lot because he’s the only one who goes to Hogwarts and he misses his siblings and stuff

But he always brings niece and nephew home stuff from Hogsmade that he thinks they’ll like 

Hunk, Lance, and Shiro meet because Hogwarts started a club during the summer for Muggleborns where they can meet and talk about concerns with Hogwarts and magic and stuff with other muggleborns that are older

So Lance and Hunk soon become really close friends and Shiro is kinda their advisor and stuff

Anyways

Keith is a Halfblood, which makes sense because i mean he’s half galra on the show so

His mom was a witch, and idk if im going to have her run away for something or die?? I mean I kinda want her to run away cuz of something so they can be reunited but i have no idea what it would be unless this was during the time of harry potter and it had something to do with Voldemort but i kinda want to stay away from all that so ye

Pidge and Matt are purebloods

But they’re not the stuck up purebloods

They’re literally the Weasleys 

Sam has a fascination with muggle technology that Pidge and Matt share

So like, they have a lot of fancy tech

Pidge and Matt snuck a DS on campus and play Zelda at meals

Allura is probably a Pureblood but shes way less snooty, maybe even compared to her parents

As for teachers

Coran is Herbology teacher or something???

Alfor is Defense against the Dark Arts maybe??? I don’t know either him or Zarkon 

Haggar is obviously the potions teacher

ANYWAYS

Everyone hates Lotor cuz his parents are teachers and he’s a teachers pet

But back to Haggar in potions

So she’s like the slytherin head thing or whatever they were

so yknow she’s biased

and it doesnt help that her son is also slytherin

(also Zarkon is a Gryffindor sorryyyyy)

(This also could play into keith or lance’s story by them being compared to Zarkon or something and it unsettling them)

(This just in-- I think Zarkon should be the voldemort)

(oh shoot im getting sidetracked with imagining zarkon as voldemort and lance as harry potter)

(help)

ANYWAYS

So ofc she sees that Lance and Keith are always at each others throat

and makes them potions partnets

because it makes it easier for them to get in trouble because they keep fighting and then she can take points from gryffindor 

ANYWAYS

The one day they are tasked with making Amortentia, right??

Oh god this is so mcfreaking cliche im sorry

So Keef and Lonce are there, both tired from studying or something so already they’re cranky and half asleep

So they’re making the potion right?

And lance just coughs, a look of disgust on his face

“What?” Keef says. Lance plugs his nose.

“U stink, Keith.” And throughout potions class Lance keeps complaining that Keith smells really bad or something or he used too much cologne idk

Ofc like Pidge is in that class and shes snickering

Lance turns to her like “WHAT IS IT PIDGE” 

She asks him if he knows what the potion is supposed to do

He’s just like “It makes people fall in love with u.”

“Yes but what else?” Both keith and Lance stare at her blankly. She explains that when u smell it you smell what u love most

Both keef and lances eyes widen

For the first time in forever they’re quite the entire period

Keith has a gay panic

Lance has a bi panic

they are disasters

Shiro confronts pidge after that day

“Pidge what did u do to keef and lonce they’re broken”

Pidge is all like, “Excuse me????”

“They’re being nice to each other.” 

Hunk, who is also there, just snorts

“Pls explain this to me,” Shiro says, exasperated

Pidge explains the Amortentia scene

Shiro just laughs because of course they were in love with each other

(it lowkey reminds him of him and Adam)

(okay now i have theories that the reason why they made Adam shiro’s boyfriend is because its meant to mirror OTHER ships in voltron *cough* KLANCE and its foreshadowing or something i mean adam does look like lance and shiro and keith are sorta similar)

(shut up candy back to the AU)

Hunk admits that Lance has had a crush on keeth for like ever but he keeps saying its just a rivalry thing

Actual conversation between the two:

“And what’s up with his hair?? It’s like straight out of the 80′s and he has all the bangs over his eyes like an EMO like why is he trying to hide his eyes?” Lance blushes because he’s thinking about how beautiful Keefs eyes are. “Like why? Why is his hair like that i dont understand?? And what does he do to it why is it so soft???”

“You’ve touched his hair?”

“Yeah I was trying to see if I’m taller than him yet” Hunk was just confused but then Lance kept talking about keiths hair and he let it slip when it was like, almost 3am that keiths hair made him look pretty and lance would never be able to make that look good on himself, then immediately said something about the one time keef blew something up in first year because hes an idiot as a coverup

So hunk has known for some time

Even when lance didn’t know

So for the next couple weeks keith and lance act kinda weird around each other

because they don’t know how to handle feelings

they mostly avoid each other, standing on opposite ends of the room and glaring at each other

but of course that doesnt help them at all because for some reason they share a room

(oh my god they were roommates)

The rest of the boys in the room are angry because of all the sexual tension its giving them anxiety and they started sleeping in the commons

I actually have no idea who the other three boys would be because one of them couldnt be shiro because hes older and everyone else is in different houses so

At one point keith just blurts “Whats wrong with you?”

Lance gets all defensive because he takes it in a different way than Keith meant and thought Keith was saying he was flawed or something and he was broken and...

heres the langst

Lance just starts to get upset and is yelling saying nothing is wrong with him and he almost starts to cry because he’s just so confused and doesn’t know whats going on and he feels like hes not good enough for Gryffindor and

He has a lot of emotions

And he says all this, starting to ramble through tears, pouring all of his emotions out

Keef is shook

he doesn’t know what to do Lance never acted like this in front of him before and he’s never seen lance like this, so self conscious and doubting himself 

Keith doesn’t know how lance could even think these things because in his eyes-- lance is perfect

Lance has always been so much better at magic than he was

and He’s so confident and such a good Keeper 

He gingerly touches Lance’s shoulder. 

“Lance I--” Keith doesn’t know what words to say, but apparently he doesn’t need to say any

Lance wraps his arms around him, burying his face in his shoulder, sniffling

Keith is surprised at first because u know keef

He doesn’t know how to react when someone hugs him

He gently hugs lance back, resting his head on Lances and running his fingers through his hair

Lance calms down, his breathing slowing and seeming more relaxed

when he does, keith tries his best to tell him how great he thinks lance is and how hes jealous and all that

Lance pulls away, rubbing his eyes. 

“You mean it?” Keith nods solemnly, not looking at Lance. Lance touches his cheek, causing him to look back up, his brows knit together in confusion

Lance doesn’t know why, but he kisses him

(*klance fangirl in me starts screaming*)

and just??? the moment feels perfect to both of them? This was someone they always thought of as a rival, were always jealous of, and were always thinking about. They never truely understood their feelings for each other, until now

Shiro doesn’t comment when they walk into the dinning hall the next morning holding hands

But Pidge sure does 

Okay im trying to think of more headcanons involving people other than Shiro, Keith, and Lance because i love all the characters and they deserve attention

Hunk makes friends with two other Hufflepuff girls 

he he he yall know who it is

SHAY AND ROMELLE

MY GURLS

Shay and Romelle have been friends since they were first years and Shay yelled at Lotor for making fun of Romelle

they’ve been besties ever since

Hunk meets Shay and Romelle in Herbology because in like maybe 5th year or something Hufflepuff house was taught Herbology with the Slytherins. Every year before that it was either with Ravenclaw or Gryffindor so he would pair with Lance, Keith, Allura, or Shiro

Pidge was a year or two bellow him so they didn’t have classes together in case u were wondering

For the specific thing they needed a group of three and even though Hunk is a pretty nice guy and can make friends with everyone, everyone sorta had their trio

Because ofc he can find a PARTNER that was left out of their group of three, but suddenly they’re paired off in threes and there’s no sad loner who has no friends. 

Shay and Romelle have an opening in their group

Hunk goes to work with them

They’re honestly the cinnamon roll squad and when Hunk introduces them to his friends Lance and Pidge immediately nickname them that 

Hunk quickly falls in love with Shay

Like deeply in love

He’s always complimenting her and laughing at what she says

Romelle keeps trying to tell Shay that he likes her but Shay just goes “he’s just a nice person, Elle”

The Yule ball comes around ofc

and at this point Lance and Keith are dating

This is probably around.... Sixth year I want to say? 

So here’s the line up 

Keith and Lance go to the dance together

Shiro asks Adam in like this grand way and Adam is just like “wait we weren’t going together before??”

Matt doesn’t have a date but he invites Pidge because she threatened him (she wants to take pictures of Klance and Adashi acting cute and coupley to use as blackmail and Matt supports it)

Hunk starts freaking out because he really really really wants to ask Shay but he doesn’t know how

Lance gives him a pep talk, saying that she obviously likes him of course she’ll say yes

Hunk is still nervous

Lance is all like “C’mon asking your crush out isnt that bad if she says no she says no, but if she says yes then you get an awesome date.” 

“Says the one who had a crush on his boyfriend since second year and covered it up as a rivalry.” Lance looks offended.

“You need to stop hanging out with Pidge.” 

Lance decides to be Hunks wingman and starts asking Shay things like “You planning on going to the Yule Ball?” and “What do you think of Hunk?” He sees that she is very much interested and repots this to Hunk

He helps Hunk come up with a way to ask her

And its like the sweetest thing Romelle is in on it and she gives some stupid excuse as to why she cant study for herbology with them 

then her and lance hide behind a bookshelf, giggling

Hunk gets super flustered

But he manages to ask her

Shay also gets really flustered

But says yes

oof okay thats three of my big ships canon now for the fourth. 

When Hunk first introduces Allura to Romelle, her first thought is “Her. I want to date Her.” 

Now Lance and Allura have already come out to each other as bi disasters

It actually happened when Lance got with Keith and they were talking about him, doing facials (they take care of their skin with each other fite me) 

And Lance is just like “Yeah so I guess I like guys and girls” and allura is like “YOU CAN DO THAT” and lance is like “yeah????” and hes not sure if shes being biphobic or what and hes scared for like 0.1 second

and then allura just goes “Oh my god lonce i think i like guys and girls too”

And then they just start laughing

I guess I should also mention that they dated at one point too???

I don’t think it would’ve been super long, but probably around 3rd year they dated and thats actually probably how Allura got introduced to the Squad??

Lance first saw her when he finally joined the Gryffindor Quidditch team 

He got picked to be a Keeper the second year

So their first game is against ravenclaw

And he’s pretty good for the most part

And then all of a sudden he sees allura flying towards him and she looks so beautiful and how can she be so beautiful and--

She just scored a goal

and he was staring dumbly at her

So Lance and Allura’s relationship kind of developed like it did in the show with Lance flirting with her and Allura being annoyed to them becoming friends and eventually mutual crush

Allura’s actually the one to ask Lance out

They date for a while and theyre actually a really cute couple

(I may be a hardcore Klancer but I do find Allurlance cute on the occasion)

But after a bit... it kinda fades away?? I don’t know they just start to feel like when they kiss its not... not how they thought it would be??

They slowly start to realize that they kinda just want to be friends, not boyfriend and girlfriend

It just adds stress that they don’t want and they want to be able to tell each other anything without having to worry about stuff

so they break up soon after they start dating

sadly

but they dont?? feel too broken up about it???

The feeling was mutual

Plus they like each other much more as friends than romantic partners

They’re like the ultumate brotp 

Now they give each other facials every thursday

anyways

so allura finds out that she has a crush on Romelle

and who does she go to?

Ofc its lance hes a successful bi with a boyfriend

So he pretty much teaches her how to flirt

like seriously he teaches her how to flirt

And Allura makes it her duty to flirt with Romelle at every possibly oppertunity

Making Romelle freak out because how is she supposed to read this does she want to date Allura or????

They don’t really go any further for a while, its just allura slipping in little things every now and again or blowing kisses at romelle in the stands as she scores a goal

When the Yule ball rolls around, both Allura and Romelle dont have dates (Lotor asked Allura to the dance because they kissed one time in a game of spin the bottle and she responded with judoflipping him)

But they have fun

Everyone has fun actually

Its amazing and fluffy

(i feel like i should write a snapshot of this so i can finally write a fic that isnt centered around klance)

And a slow song comes on

Hunk and Shay awkwardly dance with each other, blushing brightly

Lance and Keith have their heads pressed together, Lance kissing Keith’s nose as they dance and making keith so flustered he stumbles and they both fall to the floor laughing

Adam and Shiro are that couple everyone is jealous of because theyre so perfect?? Like they have matching outfits and they dance gracefully and they kiss at just the right moments??

Pidge and Matt are god knows where probably videotaping the whole thing

And Allura kinda jokingly goes, “Well I guess then we should dance too.” And Romelle surprises her by taking her hand, pulling her onto the dancefloor

and freaking allura is actually really flustered and she’s blushing, having a hard time looking at Romelle

(romelle is having a hard time looking at her to fsajndvjhaio)

They’re both blushing. 

At the end of the song theyre much closer to each other than they started

They look up at each other

And then Romelle squeezes her eyes tight and kisses allura

It barely lasts for a second

Allura is shook

Romelle is in Lesbian Painc

Allura is in Bi Panic

Nobody seems to have noticed

but both girls are dying

And then allura just timidly asks, “Can you-- can you do that again?”

Pidge walks up to them kissing and just goes, “Oh thank god I thought I was going to have to force you two to kiss”

Because pidge oversees everything and knows everyones crushes that theyre too stupid to see

I feel bad for pidge i don’t really know what big moments she should have???

I feel like shes a trouble maker though

Not like cruel pranks or something 

But she likes to play jokes on people

A lot of the times that person is Lance

A lot of the time Keith is in on it

I also feel like eventually Allura and Romelle start to join her??

She recruits them for some big thing

Idk what

Its probably like a surprise for either Klance’s anniversary or Adashi’s 

And they love this way of life

Romelle betrays the cinnamon roll squad and goes to the dark side

Also a little more about pidge

She was almost a Hat Stall

Her two houses were Slytherin and Ravenclaw

But at like 4 min and 43 seconds the hat announced slytherin

her family is actually a mix of slytherins and ravenclaws

her dad and brother are ravenclaws

her mom is slytherin

OH AND BEFORE I LEAVE

Lances rivalry with Keith started because Keith bought the last of the candy he wanted on the train

And during like 7th year when they’re cuddling or something and Keith is like “why did u start this rivalry” and lance says it’s because he took the candy and Keith is SHOOK and goes “I would have shared if u asked”

and yeah i may add but heres most of the headcanons i came up with

[xz017]

.

oof. okay so imma do the latest tea???

got out of shower to hear my mum talkin to Agnes spillin the tea abt their friend/coworker

the one with that Kid my mum wanted to have a playdate with or whatever the annoyingly studious and clearskinned halfasian lookin girl i really envied.

her mum has a live in boyfriend who is basically like...an alcoholic mental case rip god i hate alcohol and i hate people who drink it like i only do it so i hate myself more and die but like this guy basically playin with knives n guns in the house and the kid who is like 19 idk why im callin her kid is so Over it like apparently she hasn’t been coming home and like

basically me in 2016 era when my mum was too generous n Helpful lettin ppl back into our lives and our House so i spent christmas morning 5am walkin in the cold n watchin 3 films until it got dark and stuff like that

girl be actin homeless---mood

so it came to a head today so Agnes is spillin the tea n her husband in the bg(omg it weird hearin him rip he was my military hs instructor wild) n my mUM is so selfrighteous n mad like

‘blablahblah well rosalie is being dumb she should put her daughter first she being sick in the head it her Choice’

n im like eavesdroppin havin warflashbacks of the dumb hypocrisy she has DOne lmao

‘has she no thought like what if Tyler gets raped/sexually abused by that man she’d let her daughter be in that environment???’

i mean it wouldnt be fair of me to be like...eyemoji on this cos she technically doesn’t know? but 19 may 2018 never4get lmao

anyway so my mum’s like our room is for rent and it’ll be far cheaper they dont even have to pay rn!!!

cue me being like...um...Money...generosity...i dont...LIke

i was conflicted here like idk i met the girl like 3-5 times im envious of her work ethic n her better asian disposition than mine cos she obviously prettier but she has better prospects and that’d suck if her life be like that

but also??? like...life be like that it was like that to me like who saved me????????????????????? 

um...no one

like why is that on me or US TO BE NICE n helpful im so tired like damn which is relevant to the next point anyway

cos earlier had a convo with my mum i was eyemojing healthcare profs i was like ‘pls stop bein on ye phone pls tell me info on ye opinion on respiratory therapists...what abt PA’

n deadass she be eyemojing me like STICK TO YOUR COURSE

n i was like...-ugly pleadin emoji eyes- n i was tryin to explain that i didn’t want to be so focused on one thing that if i decide this medical thing is what i want to pursue i’d need 1-2 years just for the PREREQS which is like 5 classes and 1000 clinical hours or minimum 6 month healthcare paid job. like if i decide i want to go to school for that i already have the Stuff and just Apply.

n she was like...you had your chance i bothered you to be a nurse a few years ago you were stubborn if you did as i said you’d be earning good money now but you wasted time

n i was like...oof i can’t say anything to that it’s tru. it real life tea it fax i wasted time n im old n im ruunnin out of time i hate myself alot i hate hate hate

and idk we got to talkin abt money n life cos she was like you have to find something you can learn to LOve

n i was like??? WHY I GOTTA SETTLE N FOOL MYSELF TO DO SO im super annoyed abt that mindset

cos the thing about a bloody Arts degree is there’s too fuckin many broad possibilities n they all aint even that good. like deadass if i was a STEM major ugh like if i was a Bio major prospects are so clear: forensics, research, premed,labtech. Meanwhile polsci for example: uhhh teacher? prelaw? politician? uhhh government work? n there’s like 111 different subdivisions of that n it’s like??? wat the fuck

deadass what am i gonna do with international security is that even gonna pay well like...the fuck do i know is it relevant ??? Doubts

n she was all like...PEOPLE JUST GOTTA DO WHAT THEY HAVE TO TO SURVIVE YOU GOTTA FIND YOURS N STICK WITH IT

n i was lowkey panique n frustrated cos i really REALLY hate being stuck in 1 ting n im like i HAD ACTING YOU SAID NO

n she was like pFF i wanted you to have something REAL cos if you dont make it in acting you’d be on the STREETS

n i was like...lmao lil did she know imma be on the streets next year smh this year actually

n she was like talkin abt the harsh reality of the workforce and how you gotta make do at how ppl treat you (patients) n how you might not even like your coworkers but you gotta deal with it because that’s what ppl do to survive

n she was talkin abt undeserving patients with no healthcare n i was like did you just hear yourself so you want them to die cos they dont got money and she was like 

no??? why get hooked up in the ICU when you’re braindead wasting government money taxes we payed for you don’t understand cos you dont have a job and dont get your salary cut cos of taxes and these people come in acting like they got something to give when they yell at your face acting like they know what they’re talking about they act entitled when they have nothing homeless ppl getting money and illegal immigrants are selfish bringing their kids to be hurt here

n im like...theyre life is ...shitty what are you talkin about n she was like so? why dont they stay and make it better??? one of my very first patients asked me why i was in america and i said i come from a poor country and they said why didn’t you stay and try to make it better? and i couldn’t say anything cos u know what they were right why dont illegal immigrants do that??? n im like...

cos theyre literally...RUNNIN and they want ppl they care abt i.e. children to be far away from that as soon as possible bruh ye think imma wait for change deadass there a reason why we suffer duterte he actually get shit done??? we dont have to wait for change the same way ppl who speak nice n are polite do but is stuck with bureaucracy and lowkey bein corrupt deadass stay in ye lane

n she’s like well i hope you’re right im done bein an idealist im a realist now i believed in good i wanted to help the world now no more

n im like...no you’re not a realist, you’ve just been hangin out with a republican

and she gave me a sideeye 

but deadass im ...scared like i really hate the empathy because when she was being serious n talkin n being honest abt things for once i started to unwillingly see things from her point of view i really felt it n i was scared i’ll be like that im scared she’s right

im scared i’ll end up Real n selfish like...i already am ? n bitter? like i care about so very few Personally and am willin to let others suffer to keep it safe n prioritised?

im scared.

like especially with racism all these years my mum’s been telling me it’s not that im racist just wait til you work with them they act so entitles and loud and make everything about race

n i almost told Her abt it earlier i skyped w her earlier we had a tea spillin moment about our ethnic relations bein racist but then idk we talked alot i guess the text got buried or unseen

like i said i was scared n didn’t get to unpack it like im scared because ive been livin with my roomate and like...ive been excusing it as a personality thing and that if it were anyone else different skin colour id still hate them just the same which i still maintain is true but like?

my RM is loud n she makes everything abt race like deadass me n my FM be just eating dinner and she passes by us and goes on a rant about harvard asians being a Blok to black ppl from getting There n im like...im tryna have dinner so i can get energy to deal with this stressful ass school

n she always talks like she knows what she’s talking about like ‘jewish ppl control the federal bank’ n im like...it 1am in the dark quiet of our shared room deadass i dont wanna tell the binch thats antisemitism cos she gonna be like im black how can i be racist smh

im!!! scared alright like i hate my roomate for proving my mum right when i try so hard to set things right like maybe that’s why i dont tell anyone about my situation other than Her. i never told my parents about the berkeley livin situation they already warn me enough to be careful n i just keep tellin them thats racist

i have so much........THOUGHTS n........DILEMMAS...n FEARS but like i just have this blog i cant trust anyone else to talk abt it n the only person i am willing to talk to abt it will be busy and im so ashamed abt these things but she was so sweet about givin me the heads up about her schedule 

like i hated that i had to get an ugly ass haircut today cos she came back to me n we couldve talked so i guess rip she was complacent n did stuff cos she replied late from then on like that dumbass haircut was 15 minutes ugh. our talkin pattern today was like...dashed lines timereply wise? i asked her if she packed earlier (pre haircut)n she said yes but rip a few hours later she was like...I need to pack 

wat is the truth rip

the tablet bein emo like...mood but my child rip.

my love be packin n spendin time with fam before leavin for london tomorrow

n even after that she doin...Stuff. rip.

which is ye know good for her rip.

i just hope she dont go iceskatin deadass one slip n she can crack her head open or break her neck or paralyse her spine like...??? why do humans wanna do dumb activities

like omg she admitted to me today she a serial jaywalker and WORSE with music n headphones like

binch thats why i didnt wanna enable you further by gettin ye airpods deadass bye

n she was like??? tryna equate it with my risky risk like ummm

mine is for science n validity

hers is just carelessness n chosin lazy convenience over idk...the responsibility of self vigilance like...

bruh ppl shouldnt promise someone 91 years if they be continuin to do dumb stuff consciously oof rip

but other than that like...im...really proud of this resolution she be undertakin officially on the 14th?

im nervous abt it cos i really want it for her too. i want her to get the proper sleep n i always hated her givin excuses like ‘IM FINE ON 4 HOURS OF SLEEP’ ‘I NAPPED 3 HOURS 38293820 HOURS AGO IM FINE I MADE UP FOR IT’ um...blokt. get proper sleep binch i love you tf???

prioritise work cos ye gonna regret not givin it yer all??? n ye payin for this???

what fun??? we capitalists now we want that money rip.

i see that shift you know rip i saw it comin a year ago.

that dont mean we republicans rip we still care about others n the inequality? but like i foresaw us getting acquainted with the harsh reality of the world n how difficult it is to get a job--which she experienced along the way.

n rip she wants many things bookmarkin them n honestly same rip

i want a stable warm home for this family n a shiny diamond to get disassociated by extra im a simple man

meanin im selfish n im ready to prioritise meanin im ready to make the choice for others to fall apart/behind if it means puttin This first rip

god pls dont make me a republican this so ugly

# 1 she’d hate me #2 i’d hate me

now im sad

im dead.

omg rip earlier too as she said goodbye i told her i loved her and she was like ‘i love you more’

DEADASS I WAS LIKE LMAO!!! girL i dont think you understand im literally Ready to put you and our possible future First like...im not messin around what skitrips with rich ppl what friends my love is potent n extreme n COncentrated like im sorry ik you feel love for me but you cant top This rip she not ready 

like the um ‘partially wanna make my life’s work abt knowin what might hurt n kill ye so i can kill it first or blok it well’ kinda love

the ‘im already savin for at least HALF a first month deposit in an overpriced london in case you wanna settle down wit me Mayhaps n im not touching it for ANYTHING’ kinda love

the ‘im thinking of a winter home in the tropics so you suffer less n im plannin the floorplans already rip just in case’ kinda extraness

but anyways the gall of this cute lovely human rip ‘i love you more’ ummm try Again smh

bruh i love her too much i bet that’s scary for her rip it might be a Burden tbh she so young rip 

meanwhile im old n ready to rot but like...

i wanna be mortal wit ye before i do

but ye know wat lads i saw myself in the mirror today like 5 times OOF. this meatform...keepin me...Humble. 

bitter but like...humble

‘like of course sHe not ready not only is my personality like dis but also...my outward form how could she introduce me as a Spouse’

‘wow i look like that oof it good i remembered i am undeservin of full intense love like in the films n fanfiction they always between attractive ppl after all it only 1/2 it not Equal’

‘wow bruh ye really upset she spendin time n resources elsewhere when you be lookin like That? ye dont have much to offer bro take the L’

oof so that’s the personal tea i can think of?

had a meghan marke talk rip i can’t believe i was right??? i had twin vibes!!! but i was hoping for like a variety situation rip im worried a lil abt the whole birthin Late ting but she can afford the highest care rip it fine she rich.

my love was talkin abt how pretty MM was n i was like rip is she triggerin Her a lil rip worrirooni

rip speakin of babies like she was showin me this smol gummybear n im like same das me heart n she was like :( n i was like it only fits you

n she was like so no children then:(

n i was like!!! rip if it Ours of course that Counts n i was a lil shook like rip she said she didn’t want them Really so i always get guilty when i talk abt the future or realise i mentioned kids or carelessly name drop Hyaline n Benzion like...im dead rn just typin that like what if she read this big shame bro

but ye know what this is already long n she gonna be busy maybe that’s the key. TOo Much puts ppl OFF so ye mayhaps we sneaky ! ?

anyway i was tryin to get her thoughts on it rip but like she was all iDK ASK ME IN 13 Yrs n i was like...

sighemoji + sandemoji + resignedemoji

rip we talked FAaC a lil. cos she Dared!!! to liken me to her brother just cos i showed her my cheap youth boy shoes smh

At first i was super offended n disgusted but then i was like rip eyemoji if ye into that

then she was like ew nO

then i was like um ye already play the ‘daddy u like me young huh’ card

which is like idk is like technically? joking but it’s like that post ye know abt ppl bein ‘whether or not im actually jokin or flirtin depends if you into it’ but also like schrodingers racism like ‘it was a joke bro!!!’ but they actually bigots.

so it DIFFICULT for my brain to Confirm rip like...eyemoji what is the truth

but like??? im rip. willin. rip. to. rip. Try. rip.?

really i am rip. it Her. bruh. im only hopin she dont have a golden shower kink but. trust i...Will follow thru.

nO IM REMEMBERIN THE DOO DOO POST DESPAIR

rip anyway that whole thing reminded me of FAaC origins which was porn n then somehow sHe was like imagine if egggsy was a singer he’d sing like ‘age is just a number’ shit n i SPILLED THE TEA ABOUT A TING IN PT 3 im so weak sand

i miss the gays

i wanna give them justice n happiness but the 2027 excuse is rl nice for my ugly procrastination issues oof but i wish them well

add: rip had another talk with my mum i really wanted her to understand my thought process about wanting to get the prereqs for medtraining done beforehand

n she was like...I UNderstand but Normal people--

n i was like ‘IM NOT NORMAL I DONT KNOW HOW TO CHOOSE I HAVE NO IDENTITY’

n she’s just like SHOOKE n mad n clearly dont understand that im fukt up in the head ‘...IC AN’T BELIEVE YOU!!! iF YOU’RE ABNORMAL YOU WONT GET HIRED N YOU WONT HAVE A NICE JOB’

n im like...well i mean what can i say to that it’s not like it’s not tru rip

Big sand honestly.

it gonna be a long few days imma do my best to leave her alone she needs her time rip i love her so much rip sand

i feel like a dumb ugly dog god fljækadfkøad h8

[teachers-are-nerds]

why does my brain keep saying very loudly and rapidly “i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to fucking die” even though i absolutely do not want to die right now i dont even have the motivation to scream but i wonder if a solid scream would be cathartic

theres just so many things i need to complain about my heart is pounding so hard im in pain and im shaking and everything feels bad and i cant change my meds bc i cant contact my psychiatrist from france or like... more importantly figure out the logistics

i dont wanna go back to the states though bc gburg is probably gonna be hella toxic for me again even though my schedule for next year is super good and im super looking forward to it

why did i send home all of my sheet music and why didnt i send home my jackets holy wow that’s gonna be a lot of weight i cant pay for with the luggage on my way home

what if im not mentally ill enough for meds i know i have to change them bc at this moment i am NOT feeling helped by them but what if another med will make me even worse and what if i am actually just shitty at managing symptoms and how come everyone else seems to be able to manage or hide or work through their shit and i have to go and make a big fucking deal out of it all and i literally even wrote my prof like “hi btw ive been suicidal thats why i havent been in class” and that’s just using mental health as a fucking excuse it’s not like an hour and a half of sitting through a class from which i glean approximately nothing would actually kill me, as it were lol

i have to get the key to christine but that means 20 min walk home and 20 min walk back and maybe the sunlight will be good for me but i also need to write the other two pages of my paper that im obviously not doing now since im complaining and making a bajillion zillion posts all over social media lol it is a cry for help how come i cant make myself do the things i need to do im literally in physical pain because i cant make myself do the paper that was due an entire week ago !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how the actual fuck did i even graduate high school how did i fucking survive

well i mean i didnt drink in high school but i also got apx 3h of sleep a night so idk

im not drinking today though like i refuse to do that today bc money and also i need to just uhh not drink for a while because that’s what healthy people do. not day drink on weekdays.

i thought i was better abt that this year than last year but i guess not as much as i thought but at least im not sleeping in my friend’s bed every other night?? which is an improvement

god i fucking hate that i cut myself out of the queermmunity like that even though it’s better for me i just wish i did it in a more mature way im so fucking angry at myself im not even homesick at all i miss like 4 or 5 people from the states in total and i feel fucking awful that theres a bunch of people who will message me like “omg miss u” and i know i miss them too but like i feel like im lying when i respond “miss u 2″ and that isnt fair at all and i hate it i hate feeling like im lying to my friends i hate that i dont miss them i hate that this semester is supposedly the best semester of my life and i still have to convince myself not to step in front of a bus sometimes and i hate that The Brain Demons are clawing my stomach out from the inside but at least i havent purged in a while so there’s that and usually i can talk myself out of other self harm shit

and putting the content of my complaining post in the tags is to warn people if they read it but also it’s gonna make some people like OH NO UR IN DANGER LET ME READ THIS and i dont ?? i dont want that???????? but i also do???? good fucking lord i hate being such an attention whore

i hate that im a whore in general

like i dont regret any sexploits ive had whatever but i hate that i feel jealous of some people because i dont want to monopolize their lives and i dont want to prevent them from sharing love w other people i jsut want people to cuddle and kiss and be romantic with and it hurts but i also cant ocmplain abt it with my friends bc they also are like dammit i want a partner and me i have a few consistent sex partners but i want romantic partners but i need to change the people with whom i spend my time because they are not great for my mental health and i hate that bc i love them dearly but im destroying myself just in a different way from last year

the people i loved last year are driving me up a goddamn wall and i hate that i hate that i hate that so much bc i still care about them but im such an idiot i cant stand up for what feels right or against what feels wrong to me bc ill jsut get yelled at and i know that means i shouldnt be close to them im so hurting today

everything feels like too much and im shaking and still avoiding responsibilities and idk if writing this post is gonna get it out of my head enough bc on one hand i might tire myself out and not feel the need to write about it more to people and not have to bother them or like idk continue distracting conversations or maybe having people worry and try to talk to me will give me something to ignore so i can make myself write my paper idfk!!!!!!!!! but on the other hand uhh what if this is just going to make me fixate even more on my problems im screaming in sid e

oh ps im realizing that my family dynamic, while much much miuchn much much better than so fuckin many other people (feels conceited to say but im grateful for it and feel i cant or shouldnt talk abt it in case it triggers something in those with shitty home situations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) im recognizing that smth about the dynamic feels unstable as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what if i finish my paper, turn it in, sit for 20 minutes of class, go breathe, come back for the end

idfk othe rstudents need to talk to the prof too i cant monopolize him with the same content from my email to him and the same “i need help but idk what help i need” statement from last week or whatever

idk

idk idk idk will summer help me at all? will i live at home? will that be better or worse for me? can i remove all the materialism from my life? obv no but i feel i need to get rid of everything i own to cleanse myself of whatever and also i feel like cutting my own stomach and other organs out of myself but i obv cant and promise i wont try that lol

what work will i have or internships i dont have money i feel trapped will i hate myself forever will i be stuck in loops forever i will absolutely live long enough to find out and i will overcome things but like jesus chriiiiiiiiiiiiist im Not Good rn im sorry

yells

[m000000000ved]

back with a readmore because that was fuckin Long

fuckin hate that i can't vent on twitter about. anything because of a weird combination of children idolizing my shitty behavior and/or people knowing where i actually live that could call the cops on me even though i'm fine whatever anyways

i'm SO fucking frustrated at my inability to figure shit out on my own like. i sure am having impulses to do 25 different things at once and they all suck but there's no way it's ALL because of the work situation and even if it was i have no idea how to deal with that, there's no possible way for me to make that situation suck less

i need to go to the store because i'm out of toothpaste and need to pick up a prescription and i straight up just can't keep putting that off but i'm still tired as fuck from taking too much sleep medicine and i just want to go to bed again and not deal with shit and i really really really don't feel comfortable resisting the impulses to either go buy alcohol or drive into oncoming traffic although for the second one it would really blow if i came out fine and my car was wrecked so i know i don't ACTUALLY want to do that but i still get the urge to do it semi-regularly and can't figure out why

there's like three people i've been leaning on for support a lot lately and they all have their own issues goin on and as much as i appreciate that i feel straight up bad about asking help from people that are doing just as bad or worse than me

esp honey doing bad w ED shit like how do i go up to a friend of mine that is also trying to recover and be like "hey i really miss making myself vom lol what's poppin how do i deal w that" when that's a thing he is doing exceptionally bad with himself rn

all my problems feel like stupid teenage girl ways to deal w shit except drinking for whatever stupid fucking reason INCLUDING venting online because it feels inherently attention seeking and i know it doesn't actually do dick to help but it's like. getting shit off my chest + i can look back later to be like "yeah this is when i felt this way what did i end up doing to fix that" if that makes sense

also idk how to convince lily to break up with her abusive boyfriend which feels Incredibly Bad because it just makes me think of various shitty exes and her excuses for breaking up are the EXACT kind of shit id tell myself to pretend things were fine with various people but they're not and idk how to get through to her and it's weirdly making me wish i had those shitty people back

but then it's a giant dick move to be like please stop talking about how you're being horrifically abused ❤️ because it's triggering to me and my feelings are more important than you getting help w that ❤️

i can't believe i have 14 more days of sitting around doing literally nothing except trying not to do my whole-ass laundry list of shitty ways to cope. i know i need to find other ways to deal with suit but the big one i've been using lately is WORK and i CANT DO THAT so i really want to keep popping sleeping pills and keep myself unconscious so i don't do something stupid but oj pointed out that's, yet again, me using drugs to avoid dealing with my problems so i shouldn't do that

really wish i could just figure it out and be like ok here's the problem here's a thing we can do to work on that, cool, good work everyone but instead i'm like surely going to get just one bottle of wine wouldn't be that bad. i can definitely drink just one or two beers to unwind a bit and that's cool. i could absolutely just pop over to my mum and stepdad's house and smoke a bowl with him and be absolutely fine since i have plenty of time to deal with withdrawal and i won't have to deal with withdrawal of i just keep smoking consistently enough

i know i need to reach out to someone but i ❤️feel like a burden❤️ and the endless cycle of "get help -> avoid doing something bad right now -> feel bad for not being able to handle things on my own/guilty for wasting peoples time on being my fuckin babysitter -> back to feeling bad again" obviously ain't it! i think i need to just try and manage help better like instead of depending on people every goddamn day try to at least manage for a few days and make sure i only talk to people about things i know they don't also struggle with although. that kind of precludes honey from everything except drinking and puts way too much on everyone else that i don't necessarily want them up in my shit about

whatever in the next few days i have physical therapy and that'll at least keep me kind of busy

[meitanreax]

day 6

hey bebs!!! we’re almost at the halfway mark!!! we can do it!!!!! keep on going and stay strong!! thanks for calling me so much this afternoon/the previous night too!!! and our upcoming call in the morning too ^.^ OUR COMM IS STILL SO CUTE I CANT GET OVER IT!!!! im a big fan <3 it blew up on twitter too surprisingly, it has like 25 rt’s and like 200 likes LOL our comm is one of the artist’s more liked posts!!!

i really appreciate and love how well this is going!! we’ve grown a lot since the last time and we keep on growing everytime we’re apart!! im rlly glad!! we learn a lot from our mistakes & the past and im glad looking forward :D thanks for making this work baby!! i know 16-17 hours is tough but we’re literally almost at halfway point!!!!!!! we got this hehe i love and miss you so much! sorry i dont think ive been saying it that much or been making it super clear but i rlly do!!

hehe

today was a relatively chill day!! just woke up around 8 cuz of the KARAOKE THOTS...theyre literally still going rn and it’s 9 pm LFMLDKJFLDKJF please help me TT_TT

AND THEN i just stayed in bed til like 12 on my phone/laptop n shtuff! :3 i was only able to sleep for 5 hours cuz of the dumb karaoke stupid thots...sigh i am so LOL

but yeah!! i just chilled and then i ate breakfast/brunch downstairs and then napped for like 1.5 hours before i called u! o: 

i literally just was watching videos, catching up on subscriptions, playing mobile legends, etc!!! i just wanna have a day where i stay in and dont do anything fully LOL and i dont need to leave or dress up or anything!!! here are some photos from downstairs/the christmas tree!!

i called u O: and then afterwards when u left to sleep, my dad wanted to buy some halo-halo and ez had errands to run so we went to the mall..dude it was so CROWDED UGH LOL dummy!! i get so tired when i go out in public sometimes and i just want 2 sleep fml

at the mall, i got halo-halo!! and appetizers at this restaurant idk, i had eggrolls and these really good like fried clam scallops?? idk how to describe it but it was fucking GOOD im O_O but yah!! the halo-halo was ok LOL i thot there was too much ube ice cream but i liked the consistency of it cuz it was like bingsoo iced ube instead of just like........ice cream ice cream LOL

dude it was fucking FAT so i shared it with my cousin LOL

afterwards we walked around and went to a book store!!! cuz my cousin wanted to get acrylic paint stuff cuz her artist stuff LOL i was looking around and saw this book and i thot it was SOOO FUNNY LOL

imagine having a FLUFFY BOOK OMG the left one is cute, but the right one is lowkey scary ASKSDKFJSLDFKJ there was a gray version of it too!!!

we just walked around tbh and we got a screen protector for ez’s new phone and then we went to a store to get a shirt for some secret santa thing and dude like some random filipino girl started singing silent night fucking LOUD and i was liek wtf is going on LOL this botch is singing like throughout the entire store it was so loud i was legitimately like PLEASE. STOP LFSJLDFKJSLDFKJSLDKFJ it was soo try hard too cuz she was obviously trying to fake an american accent LMAO

T.T then my aunt picked us up from the mall and we went to the hospital to wait for her to drive us back home cuz she had another patient LOL 

the hospital was lowkey kinda rundown and jank and very like...yah obviously built a long time ago/had kinda bad resources but they extended it and she showed us to like the “off-limits, in construction” portion of the other hospital wing kinda like stranger things HAHAHA but it was completely different and modern!! it was lowkey scary tho like bRO LIKE THE LIGHTS WERE OFF AND THE HALLS WERE LONG AND EMPTY...BUT THE INFRASTRUCTURE WAS NICE

but yah that’s p much it!! i went home and ate dinner and now im chillen again :3 gonna shower soon, wait for ur call, and ktfo!! apparently we have a fuckin family reunion thing/party tomorrow e_e im not looking forward to it im so tired dude i do not like LOL i hate these family functions theres too much energy to talk to people and i hate dressing up for it. dude wearing makeup here is so annoying cuz u just feel disgusting at the end of the day by how humid it is LOL

but anyways!!!

here’s my response to ur challenge <3 

LOL i tried my best but they look more chibi if u make their eyes bigger :D

for your challenge for the next day:

make a photo collage of ur favorite moments of us together this year :3 like any photos, or any dumb selfies, screenshots etc!! like make it cute and stuff HAHA cuz i may want to or u may want to post it :3 just a cute recap hehe

thanks so much for everything bebz! have fun at the spa and let me know how it is ^__^ ill try to hold out a lil bit more for you LOOOL i literally just need to get through up to new years and i can fucking. live. and SEE YOU SOON HEHE

have a good rest of the day baby!! i love you so so so much, ill talk to you real soon! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, FOREVER, MORE THAN ANYTHING WITH ALL MY HEART :DDD

[thedegenerateasexual]

another big old fuckin rape warning jfc

incest warning too i guess? lmao this book

AN ENTIRE FLASHBACK CHAPTER im not ready

four days after the first encounter and kate hasn't made another move - "But she hadn't moved from the lifeguard perch all week, hadn't even spoken to him. She'd just watched him like a hawk, gaze trained on him, as he'd stroked through the water. One by one the other swimmers had left, and he'd remained behind, torn between disappointment that she hadn't done it again, and complete and utter relief that she was staying away from him."

and then she does: "He swam lap after lap beneath her scrutiny. Then, just as he did one last flip-kick and headed for the stairs in the shallow end, he felt the vibration of her approach in the water. And then she was swimming alongside him. He couldn't believe it. He didn't know what else to do except to keep swimming. What was he supposed to do? ... He thought about all those human, adult things that he hadn't done, that she obviously had—get a job, have a car..."

so then they stop swimming, and she takes his hand:

She smiled at him, much more shyly than he would have expected. She looked down, then peered up at him through her lashes.

"What you must think of me," she murmured.

His heart was pounding so hard he was sure that she could hear it. He had no idea what to say to her, and he also had no idea how to get out of the pool without embarrassing himself.

Except . . . he didn't want to get out of the pool. He wanted to kiss her.

"There's something about you," she whispered. "I've been thinking about you all week. I tried to stay away. I mean, you're a student and I'm . . . well, I'm not a teacher. But I'm close. To being a teacher."

She swirled her fingers through the water. "And this really isn't my style, you know? I don't come on to men like this."

Men. She thought of him as a man. He licked his lips, completely tongue-tied.

what kills me about this is that this is what he does in the show when confronted with kate, or other things that make him uncomfortable (jennifer) - when derek can't think of the right thing to say he goes dead fucking silent. he just plain stops talking. & i'm like devasated at the idea that it's a lifelong habit 

and then, this is the most manipulative part:

"I wish you'd say something," she murmured. "I'm kind of dying right about now. I'm sorry if I misread your intentions. I won't bother you again."

His intentions? Misread them? He was baffled. But then he thought about all the looks he had thrown her way. How he'd glanced up at the lifeguard tower every time he'd made a turn to head down the lane. Maybe he had been sending out signals.

THAT'S TEXTBOOK GASLIGHTING JESUS CHRIST HE'S SIXTEEN

it gets worse! she "assumes" he has a girlfriend and pretends to be all shocked when he says he doesn't because he's "so handsome and all" and then says "look this is happening in such an awkward way i dont mean to crowd you im just drawn to you i cant rly explain it" exCUSE me oh my god and then adds "but i don't want you to think i'm just after, well, YOU KNOW" THAT'S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE but he's sixteen and never had a girlfriend so he doesn't know any better!!!!

so she asks if he wants to go for coffee and show her around and then adds "we'd have to be careful bc outsiders wouldn't understand" i'm pretty sure they'd understand just fine :///

like i knew it was like this but im still so outraged on his behalf jesus

and he's thinking about how he doesn't know any coffee places in beacon hills bc he spends most of his time out of the community but SHE says:

"I think we're both having the same thought," she murmured. "Privacy."

Privacy, as in being careful not to be seen together while they were hanging out? Or privacy as in . . . oh, God, was she serious?

"So we can get to know each other." She pondered a moment. "Would you think I was too forward if I invited you to my apartment? Just for coffee?"

and he's like panicking running through his options bc he wants to go but he's supposed to meet laura and there's only one car - she offers to drive him home, and oh, wouldn't she just love to know where the hale house is - but eventually he just says he needs to check in with his sister first - and she's like, "laura hale? oh dont be startled i made some discreet inquiries about you" and it doesn't trip his creep radar bc he doesn't have any life experiences but holy fuck that's like right next door to stalking

as an aside i don't like how they use wolf as a verb in this book it's weird - he began to wolf, his eyesight wolfed - like nah. no thanks

uhhhhh so derek asks laura to pick him up in 3 hours and she's like "whats in it for me" and he's like "i wont tell dad i saw you frenching josh" JOSH THEIR COUSIN??

the exact words were josh was peter's sister-in-law's kid

that's, uh

i mean that means peter's brother's kid, then, right? which means laura and derek's blood cousin???? alright then

oh god kate came in the locker room in JUST A TOWEL while he was talking he can't get a minute away from her

laura's like "ur gonna go do something slutty with a human aren't you" THIS IS CONTRADICTING SEASON 1 CANON LOL derek never told anybody about kate! laura is super weird in this book if my 16yo little brother was about to go sleep with a teacher i would never be so chill about it

Oh, sweetie, getting your attention is like shooting fish in a barrel, Kate thought as she drove Derek in her car to her apartment. It was across the street from a bar, which, from her point of view, was convenient for when she wanted to hang out with the grown-ups. She was wearing a pair of jeans, heeled boots, and a black low-cut cashmere sweater. I can practically hear you slobbering. It's like you're a big puppy dog and I am a juicy steak.

this dialogue.......

i wasn't like, having the worst time reading this book, it wasn't actually that bad, but jesus

oh my god

"The thrill of this new hunt raced through her. The euphoria of the chase. She never, ever got tired of dangling herself in front of males of all kinds. It was no accident that in ancient Greece, the deity in charge of the hunt was a goddess—Artemis. Beside her, Derek "Aquaman" Hale had his head resting on the back of the seat and his eyes closed. He was really good-looking. This was not going to be the most difficult thing she'd ever done in her life."

good GOD 

so she offers him a drink, and starts with coffee, but quickly escalates to wine: "I like to have a little something to unwind after I'm at the pool, you know? Lucky thing I live across the street from a bar." She said that to goose him a little, remind him she was a woman, with a woman's needs.

and that he's sixteen.

now she's talking about how she doesn't even know if derek and the hales are the wolf pack she's looking for: She had her orders, but she had to be sure. Kill werewolves, and you were a hero. Kill people, and you were a mass murderer. The group she was involved with had detected werewolf activity in Beacon Hills, and she just had a feeling about the Hales. Of course, there were several other large families in the area that might make up the pack she was seeking. Derek's furtiveness and hesitation might have nothing to do with her assignment. There were reasons other than being a werewolf for not wanting to bring home someone who was way too old for you. It hadn't dawned on him to question the motives of a pretty woman who was coming on to him. He believed what he chose to believe.

apparently she has some tragic backstory w/ this? "Menwerewolves and humanswere so simple. They always assumed you wanted them. Some fat man on a couch burping and watching cage matches? Oh, yeah, you wanted him. A guy who threw you around the room and accused you of cheating on him? Oh, yeah, you wanted him. Like a hole through your heart. But the good one? The one that you really did want? A flash of rage roared through Kate, but she kept it at bay. She could feel it trying to take over, like a wolf scratching at her door. Rage was not her enemy. Rage got the job done. In ancient Greece—land of Lycoan, said to be the first werewolf—men who pissed off the goddess Artemis were ripped to shreds by her hunting dogs. Several times a day, Kate dreamed about ripping various people to shreds. Of course, she never acted on it. She left that for others much less able to control their savagery." see, like, if derek wasn't 16, i could buy bad men in her life leading her to want to use men like this, but derek is a boy and she talks continuously about how innocent he is, so like...no slide

i know i'm just doing a lot of copypasta rn but it speaks for itself: "She watched as Sweetie Derek politely moved a packing carton off her sofa and sat down. What a body. Still boyish, but with the sweet promise of a truly splendid man. If she was right about the Hales, Derek would never become a man. Just as he wasn't really a boy. He was a monster hidden inside a human disguise." that aligns pretty well with the "they're all just a bunch of dumb animals to me" shit she talks in 1.11, also, "Sweetie Derek," this is so horrible

she finally pours them wine and leans against the counter to "give him a view" - "She waited for his response. He was staring at her body. Wanting her. Intimidated by her. She loved it." like this is SO BAD AND EXPLICIT she really does just love that he's young and unsure it's FUCKED

so then we switch to derek pov, and they eat like a light lunch of sandwiches with a long awkward silence, and he does a lot of internal monologuing about how cool it would be if she could come home and meet his family and be her mate

which like...i know how teenagers are but he met her five days ago. tbh real grooming, which is definitely what she's doing, takes longer than that, but i guess we were going for brevity here lol

(in this book derek's dad is the alpha? but in season 3 talia is, so i guess they changed werewolves then to be matriarchial like hunters)

like, she's asking him questions about himself - lucky number, favorite color - she asks him if he believes in fate. he keeps clamming up and she keeps trying to get him to talk so she finally asks about his swimming and he blurts out that there's just so much pressure, even though he can't really tell people about his "double life" and she like IMMEDIATELY responds with "yeah ofc there is hs is so rough like the ppl you have to hang out with some are still like babies and some are all rown up and ready for the real world like you" like...this is classic grooming techniques

and he's like flattered and think she's mega hot but he's also really nervous, and when she leans into his space and asks if he's ready: "He set down his sandwich. His heart was about to burst out of his chest. His body was quivering and trembling. He felt as if he were burning up." and he does say yes so i assume they banged but THANK god the chapter cut to black