#i am so sorry for talking at you oh my god
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Iâm Not Brainwashed.
A blizzard hit Fawcett. It was a pretty harsh one too. His apartment doesnât have heating too. So, Billy went on a journey to find a warm place to sleep.
First, he tried the corner owned by a nice old man. The man said he could bask in the storeâs warmth until the storeâs closing time.
Old Man: âIâm sorry, itâs just I donât feel comfortable leaving you here overnight.â
Billy: âThereâs no need to apologize, Mister. Itâs fine.â
Old Man: âBut it isnât. I wish I could keep you longer but I canât. Here.â *gives Billy some wrapped sandwiches* âCome back tomorrow. Iâll let you stay again.â
Billy: *small smile* âIâll try. Thanks, Mister.â
Billy would definitely come back tomorrow, but for now he had to find a place to sleep for the night. This was when Billy made the unfortunate mistake of going to the Rock of Eternity to get out of the cold for a moment.
Billy: *plops down in front of the throne eating one of the sandwiches given to him* âHmm⊠Where am I gonna go now?â
Billy didnât know that those would be his last words as he dozed off at the rock.
A full rest laterâŠ
Billy: *stirs awake* âWhere am IâŠ? The rock? Geez did I fall asleep?â *feels a buzz from his pocket dimension and pulls out his JL comm and sees like 95 notifications* â-Oh my GODS.â
Thatâs how Billy found out the hard way never to sleep at the Rock. Turns out, to everyone else, he disappeared. For a WEEK. Damn (he feels like he deserves to curse in this situation) the Rock of Eternity and the weird way it makes time go by. Letâs see⊠Heâd missed an emergency meeting, several messages from his friends, and an either concerned or subtlety threatening text from Batman. Okay. Thatâs concerning. Uh⊠You know what? Before he goes and talks to his friends, why doesnât he go check on Fawcett first?
So, he left the rock, and guess what? The blizzard is still going. Heâd be lying if he said this didnât peeve him. Thankfully, it was daytime, so that means the Old Man would probably let him in the store again.
Old Man: âThere you are! You had me worried.â
Billy: âSorry.â *sounds ashamed*
Old Man: âThereâs no need to apologize. Itâs just, you said you would be back the next day, and you never came. I thought something had happened to you! Iâve been stress cooking ever since.â *puts a large bag of food into Billyâs hands*
Billy: âI didnât mean to stress you. You donât have to give me this.â
Old Man: âYes I do.â *points to the spot Billy sat the day he had come in* âNow go sit and eat.â
Billy: âYes, Mister.â *trudges over me eats, feeling bad for making the man worry*
Soon though, Billy had to leave again. He said goodbye to the Old Man and started walking to the blistering cold. He had to find another place to sleep. He looked up the now night sky. He had an idea. It was a stupid one, but it was an idea nonetheless.
The intercom over head announced Captain Marvelâs presence in the watchtower. Wally paused in eating the quadruple double triple quintuple sandwich he made himself. Wasnât it like 10 pm in Fawcett or something? Cap almost never came to the Watchtower after seven unless it was for monitor duty. The speedster quickly finished his sandwich and decided to go see if something was wrong.
Eventually, he found the Captain near the sleeping quarters. Most members of the JL had one. That included Cap, but as far as Wally knew, Marvel hadnât so much as stepped foot in that room.
âCap, buddy! Whatâre you doing here so late?â Flash asked, causing Marvel to startle.
âOh uh⊠I thought Iâd get some sleep.â The Captain said, anxiousness rolling off him in waves.
âI thought you didnât need to sleep?â
âWell, I donât, but I still like to, yâknow?â Marvel said, scratching the back of his neck.
Flash shook his head. âNot really.â
A small, out of place, awkward silence filled the hallway where they stood for a moment before Flash spoke up again, âWhere have you been all week-â
âNight!â Cap cut him off, quickly entering the room and letting the door shut behind him, abruptly ending the conversation.
Wally stood there for a few moments. Okay⊠Something was definitely wrong with his buddy. Had the speedster done something to upset him? He turned to start walking away. Heâd talk to his buddy later.
Wally got maybe seven feet away before he heard a loud crash that sounded like lighting and then loud alarms that started ringing throughout the Watchtower. Something about an intruder? Batman walked over to him. Where he came from, only god knows.
âFlash.â Bruce greeted him as he passed, stopping in front of the door Marvel disappeared into just a few moments before.
âSpooky, whatâs going on?â Flash sped over to stand next to him.
âThereâs an intruder in this room.â Batman replied, as soon as he finished speaking, another large crash of lightning could be heard. The alarm then stopped blaring. This made the Dark Knight pause and start tapping something on the tablet Wally just realized the other man was holding.
âDid something happen?â Wally asked, leaning over to try and see the tablet.
âThe intruder is gone. The Watchtowerâs also sustained two major electrical strikes that traveled through the tower, temporarily shut down anything in its way. They traveled to this room.â Bruce said.
It was at that moment, Marvel decided to make an appearance. He looked panicked, and when he registered Batman was standing in front of him, the panic seemed to increase. âMister Batman Sir! HeeeeeeeyâŠâ
âCaptain, thereâs an intru-â Batman didnât get to finish that sentence before Marvel interrupted him.
âSorry Mister Batman Sir, but I really gotta be going.â Marvel said hurriedly before speed walking to the zetas. Wally and Bruce watched him go.
Billy shouldâve known it was too stupid of an idea to work! He wanted to see if he could detransform and sleep in the bed of the room, but nooooooooo it just had to trigger the alarm. Billy wasnât proud about interrupting so many (two) people today, but he really, really needed to go because as soon as Flash and Batman step into his room, theyâre gonna see two dark lightning marks on the floor. Then theyâre gonna try and ask questions. Then thatâs gonna lead to Billy having to explain that he can summon lightning to change into a little kid. Then theyâre gonna get mad Billy lied to them about being an adult. Then, theyâre gonna try stopping him from being a hero, and from there his life as a hero and as Billy Batson will crumble to literal dust.
Around fifteen minutes after Marvel left⊠Flash was pacing, practically making trails in the ground, âSpooky, he was gone for a week! Not only that but he was acting weird and we got a notification of a security breach. This might sound crazy, but I think it might be that worm thing he mentioned.â
âWorm thing?â Batman asked, sounding incredulous. Wally was wondering why he found that of all the things theyâve seen and heard unbelievable.
âYeah! He said one of his villains is this little worm that crawls into your ear and takes control your brain.â Flash said, one of his fingers doing a weird wiggling motion as if to resemble a worm.
âSo you think heâs being mind controlled?â Supes asked, sounding super concerned. Oh right, heâs here too. Heâd just gotten off monitor duty with Jâonn. At the moment, the Martian was in the kitchen getting some snacks.
âYes!â Flash exclaimed. âIt could explain why he up and disappeared.â
âFlash, for all we know, he couldâve been gone due to a family emergency or something along those lines.â Batman spoke.
âWell⊠just to be safeâŠ?â Supes started, sounding cautious as he trailed off and nodded to a nearby cabinet the three, or at least Clark and Bruce, knew housed bug spray.
That was how they ended up cornering Marvel in Fawcett, Superman restraining the man while Batman sprayed bug spray in his face and ears. Meanwhile Flash was standing to the side nervously, holding a jar in case a certain green worm actually crawls out of Marvelâs ear.
So yeah, today was not Billyâs day, let alone week. Also, it turned out that there was a magical creature that was causing the blizzards. He proceeded to promptly beat it up for all the trouble and embarrassment it inadvertently caused him.
Donât ask why I stopped formatting the dialogue the way I normally do for a couple seconds. I donât even know. Thatâs actually why I didnât post around eleven like I normally do. It was taking a while.
#billy batson#dc captain marvel#shazam#captain marvel dc#fawcett city#fawcett#fawcett comics#batman#bruce wayne#wally west#the flash#superman#clark kent
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@lamentationsofalonelypotato
Omg yay!! I'm so excited to dive into your thoughts on Part 2. As you saw, it's a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. đ
Alright it is devastating right off the bat and I know, I know I should be worried about her and I am. I am SO worried, but my mind completely went somewhere else when Dean PICKED HER UP. The man is so strong and I am just...
LOL girl I don't blame you for being distracted. The mental image of Dean manhandling in Protective Mode does things to me too. đ€Ł
I was prepared for this coming but dang... "I hope you've learned your damn lesson" is a line that breaks my heart more than I should. It cuts to the quick for me, because to me it's worse than just saying "I told you not to do something." It's not heartless, but it's enough of a rendition of it that it just makes you go "oh wow."
I love this observation. That's exactly what I felt inherently when I was writing that line. It felt more powerful to me than "I told you so" or the like. It has the feeling of that, but with more of an edge, even though you know he cares about her.
I was literally screaming. It's like he wants her to kill him. I know that Dean loves her so much but oh my goodness it's about to get so real for him. Man is about to be torn to shreds.
LMAO I remember someone saw the preview of Part 2 and commented, "the quiet, but devastating anger he'd be reckoned with if he said that to me." And I was like, YEP, that's exactly it. Mans playing with his life. đ
đ
đ
You just wanna go:
Even though she's upset, Dean is still her best friend and the man she loves and even though he's the one that made her feel this way, she still wants to be comforted by his presence. I always think that, this particular thing is so bittersweet to read about in relationships. Or at least that's how I took this bit đ
.
That's precisely how I intended it! Now looking back, I feel like I should have had her leave him by himself in his room to sleep in another room. But at the time I was writing, I was thinking that for her in particular, despite this being the biggest fight they've had so far in their relationship, he's still the one that makes her feel safe after a bad hunt. đ
Side note: I am happy that the reader didn't have to tell the woman about her son. That would have broken me to read that especially after the reader promised that they would find her son in part one.
Oh my God, yeah. I considered having her be the one to face her "mistake" and talk to the mother, but I felt that having Sam take that on would be better, even as it added to the reader's guilt (and it would keep the story moving).
Oh my word. I love you friend, but WHY!? Dang it, this pricked at my heart. It's so good, so heart wrenching. I feel so bad for him, but it really just reinforces why he "lost it" with the reader earlier. Goodness the trope of the reader getting yelled at by someone who loves them about putting themselves in danger really is just such a good one for Dean and you do it so well.
Lmaooo I knowww, I'm sorry! All the angsty feels in this one. đ Now you see the full weight of why Dean popped off the way he did. He just feels things so deeply, it comes out sometimes in anger, when at the root of it all, it's fear.
Thank you though for that compliment! I think this is the only time I've written that Dean trope. Because I honestly think it's overused, but I tried to do it in a way that made sense for the ultimate growth of their relationship and who Dean is.
His apology is really just pricking at my heart. It's so good, so forthcoming so honest. And the thought that he was "better off alone" is so on brand for him. I know that we've talked about that before, but it really does fit him, and I love how you weave it into this fic.
Aww thank you! đđ Weirdly enough, that was one of my favorite parts to write? Maybe I just like the heartfelt hurt/comfort breaking into fluff moments. The "better off alone" thing I thought was implied throughout the later seasons of the show after Dean lets go of Lisa and Ben, so I wanted to explore that deeper here, even though it hurt my heart to write it. đ
She's crying... I'm crying. It's really just tears all around and such a good moment. Also the him saying "You don't have to cry for that"... YES SHE DOES.
Everyone's crying!! đ YES ABSOLUTELY SHE DOES -- and she's a verified crier. I see a lot of fics where the reader is tough as nails, "doesn't cry very often," but I wanted to create a reader character who is a badass, but still has a soft heart. (Latinas also can be very emotional, but not to say we're adhering to stereotypes around here LOL. đ€Łđ€Ł)
This is just overall a really wonderful vulnerable moment that you've captured that feels real for both the reader and Dean. Especially when she talks about "working with my heart, not my head." I think that if it were me, I would also be "working with my heart." I don't think that I'd be able to take myself emotionally out of the situation that they're in all the time because they're hunters.
Thank you so much!! đđœđ„čđ„č Yeah same, and it's definitely a contrast with Dean, who obviously cares about helping people and takes way too much responsibility on his shoulders, but he's been doing this so long and seen so much that he's learned to compartmentalize a bit more.
Hoping for some FORESHADOWING đđ»đ
Oh girl yesss! If you make it to the last two stories in the series, remember this moment. đđ
Also the salsa lesson is just so cute. And the way you took a really emotional moment to a cute salsa dance to a steamy session to a giggly awkward moment is great. The transitions make it seamless. And the song choices were perfect! When the reader was describing what the song meant I was like, "oh yeah, that's him right there. There's the man officer." lmao đ€Ł
Ahaha thank you so much!! I LOVE me some salsa music, and it was a fun challenge to try and transition between these scenes. From one writer to another, I always appreciate those "technical" observations. đđđ
Oh big YEP!! "Devorame Otra Ves" was the first song I thought of when the salsa idea came. Dean, in fact, is that guy. đ€Łđ€Ł
I was again so emotional reading this, because oh my word, poor Dean just reliving the moments where the reader almost died.
Sorry for jerking the angsty chain again there! đ€Ł Poor guy, he went through an ordeal just as much as she did.
And also the final scene đđ¶ïž I should have known from the gif at the beginning tbh lol.
LMAO Oh yeah, the gif was a dead giveaway for what was coming later on. đ And thank you for shouting out the âWhat, now youâre shy?â line! It's a special kind of intimate, I thought, for her to be kind of embarrassed about what she's just done, but Dean like, "uh-uh, you're not getting away that easily." đđ
Also I love you for using a Chicago Fire gif!! loll Was a big fan of that show back in the day.
Not to mention that the sex was also giggly towards the end and I really just love that. And the love confessions KNOCKED ME OUT.
Awww thank you! I love me some fun giggly romantic smut. đ
Fun fact on her confession! When she says I love you twice, she's actually saying it in two different ways:
I love you, youâd said. I love you ("te amo," you're my love) and I love you ("te quiero," you're my family), more than you can believe and understand.
Oh I'm riding a train of emotions, and all of this was so good. Especially Sam walking in on them. I was laughing so hard at Dean's reaction:
Lol but seriously, I really appreciate that, thank you!! This story was definitely an emotional rollercoaster. I'm so glad you enjoyed it though!! đ ...And Sam's little mishap LOL. Dean has very little shame -- something he's going to prove later on again in the series. đ
It's all wonderful my friend! And I can't wait to read another fic from this universe! đ
Thank you SO very much!! Honestly you don't know how happy it makes me that you're enjoying this series so far -- and spoiling me with such lovely and thoughtful feedback. đ„°đđ
Devour Me - Part 2
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus-Sized/Latina!ReaderÂ
Summary: When you and Dean start to press each otherâs buttons, both of your tempers ignite. To make up for it, you give him an impromptu salsa dancing lessonâŠone he didnât exactly ask for. (18+)
AN:Â Here's Part 2! **Read Devour Me: Part 1
Song Inspo: âYo No Se Mañanaâ by Luis Enrique. But really itâs âVen DevĂłrame Otra Vesâ by Lalo Rodriguez. (Youâll see why.) đ€
Word Count: 5,400
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Blood, character death and violence, smutty smut, angst, Dominican slang, and tons of sexy fluff.
â Midnight Espresso Masterlist
Part 2: "Telenovela Style"
Your resulting scream of agony is as unforgiving as the ground when your knees buckle, hitting the hard cement.
Andy grips you with the strength of a monster.Â
Then he holds you down as he drinks your blood.Â
No matter how you struggle and whimper, you canât push him off, and youâre getting weaker by the second.
Until Andy is ripped away from your neck, and is taken care of the way all vampires must be. He doesnât even feel the blade coming.Â
When youâre able to look up, Dean stands above you with thinly veiled fury. He doesnât have time to consider what heâs just done.Â
He bends to gather you up into his arms, all the while trying to stamp down the panic clenching his heart. He calls your name, but you can only make weak sounds as your bleary eyes meet his.Â
âDean,â you manage. The ragged wound in your neck is bleeding profusely down your chest and shoulder, seeping into your shirt. He takes your hand and clamps it hard against your neck, even though it makes you whimper.
âGotta stop the bleeding,â he says, apologetic but firm. âKeep pressing.â
In your stupor of pain, you donât realize that your screech woke the entire nest. Dean has to lock up his worry; he looks up and finds his brother and Cas already fighting a hoard of angry vampires.Â
Dean carries you over to them and lays you down against the wall with the other humans. He keeps a protective line in front of you, but he decapitates a vampire before she can sink her fangs into Sam next.
The two of them work together, and with Castielâs smiting power behind them, the angel and the two men are able to clear the rest of the nest.Â
By the end, only you and two of the women being held captive are still alive. The third girlâs heart just finally gave out. Sam takes the survivors to the nearest hospital.Â
Meanwhile, Castiel approaches where you sit up against the inside of the barn, barely awake, while Dean kneels with you, holding you to his chest. He meetâs Casâs blue-eyed request with a nod. So Cas stretches out a hand and touches two fingers to your forehead.Â
Youâre healed in an instant. Dean marvels, like he always does when Cas displays his power. Dean is able to breathe a little easier, the vice grip on his heart easing as he touches your neck.
The tan skin is once again smooth, if still stained with blood. You blink back into wakeful consciousness.Â
He shifts so he can see your face. âYou okay?âÂ
You meet his eyes but can only nod. His jaw is still tight and tense, and you canât blame him.Â
You know youâve messed up. Big time. You nearly got everyone killed, including yourselfâŠand now, you have to tell a mother that her son is dead.Â
Dean helps you up, holding you by your arms and waist until youâre steady on your feet. You have a hard time meeting his eyes, but when open your mouth to apologize, he beats you to it.Â
âI hope youâve learned your damn lesson,â he says.Â
Your gaze snaps up to his. âExcuse me?â
Deanâs hands go to his hips as his brows raise at you.Â
âNext time, when I tell you to hang back, I mean that shit. Hang the hell back,â he all but growls.Â
You tilt your head at him as your irritation begins to spark. Meanwhile, Castiel is the one who backs up as he glances between you and Dean uncertainly.
âI made a mistake, but that doesnât give you the right to tell me what to do,â you shoot back. âI was a hunter long before I met you.âÂ
âYeah, well, color me surprised that youâve made it this long,â he snaps.Â
Your temper flares hotter. âYou know, youâre not so goddamn perfect either.âÂ
âNever said I was,â Dean says. âBut when my gut tells me something ainât right, I need you to fucking listen. Otherwise, we get a day like today.â
His words are edged with grit by the end of his little rant, and you donât appreciate it. Your lips purse in anger.
âI donât care what that legendary gut tells you,â you sass back. âIâm not a little girl, and youâre not my damn father!â
Dean raises incredulous brows at the way youâre shouting at him. He crosses his arms.Â
âWhatâs this, some kind of Latina temper?â he asks snidely.Â
You truly become incensed at that.Â
âOh, you want to take it there?â you ask, as your eyes narrow. âQue sin vergĂŒenza tĂș eres. Sigue jodiendo conmigo, coño. Entonces tĂș vas a ver quien soy yo.â
Dean wonât admit it, but in that moment, heâs a bit intimidated by the quiet threat in your voice. Still, his fuse is lit, and heâs way beyond curbing his internal filter.
âOh, Iâm sorry, does this telenovela-style tongue lashing come with subtitles?â he snarks.Â
You let out an incredulous breath. Your eyes begin to sting.
âYouâre such an asshole!â you shout back. There, understand that?
You turn away from him before your frustrated tears can fall, but you stop short once you notice Castiel dragging out the bodies of the deadâŠincluding Andy. Your throat constricts, and you begin to stalk out of the barn.Â
Dean calls your name in frustration.Â
âWhat?â you hiss.Â
The only thing that makes him hesitate is seeing the state of you when you turn back around. His anger crumbles, and maybe something in him breaks when he sees your tears. Theyâve welled up in your eyes, and a few of them carve a path down your cheeks.Â
Youâre still covered in your own blood, and he hates it. He hates it more than anything.Â
Later, you see the state of yourself when Sam returns with the Impala. In the reflection on the backseat window, you see the blood dried down your neck, staining nearly half of your shirt.
You see the black rings of your mascara and eyeliner around your eyes. You look a mess, and you try to wipe underneath your eyes. Itâs a fruitless effort.
After you all finish burning the bodies, Dean starts the long drive home. You insist on stopping to tell Rachel Campbell about her son, but Sam says he already took care of it when he drove into town.Â
You frown, but you no longer have the energy to be angry. You further withdraw into yourself, and your lower lip trembles as you look out the window. Through the rearview mirror, Dean sees more tears slipping down your face.
What Sam told him (but he wonât tell you), is what one of the survivors said. One of the mated pairs had taken AndyâŠto âadoptâ a son of their own.Â
That night is quiet and tense in Deanâs room. You have to wash your hair all over again, and scrub the blood and grime from your body until only your skin remains. But you donât have the energy to do more than braid your wet hair afterwards and pull on your lucky Journey shirt, which is still full of holes.Â
Dean knows that itâs bad when you need the âdreamcatcher,â as heâs called it in his head. Youâve never had a nightmare while wearing that shirt, or so you claimed a while back.Â
You wear it over some long pajama pants instead of your usual shorts, or better yet, nothing at all. But he can see what kind of mood youâre in. Things are unsettled as you both get ready for bed in silence.Â
He notes the way you turn to face the other side in bed, maybe to avoid him. Though if you really wanted to do that, you couldâve gone to your old room.
So in more ways than one, Dean takes some solace in the fact that youâre still next to him. And he decides to give you some time and space.Â
He goes to bed and tries in vain to sleep.
In the morning, Deanâs woken by the familiar smell of coffeeâŠand the less familiar sound of loud salsa music.Â
What the fuck?
After he brushes his teeth, he puts on his robe and slippers and heads down to the kitchen, where he finds you in a seemingly better mood. Youâre mopping the floor, of all things. Youâre out of your pajamas, instead wearing a loose shirt that falls off your shoulder and some spandex shorts.Â
âYo no se mañanaâŠyo no se mañana. Si estaremos juntos, si se acaba el mundo,â you sing softly along with the music as you dance from the kitchen to the living room. Your phone is connected to a Bluetooth speaker on the coffee table.Â
Dean starts to smile, crossing his arms as he leans against the doorway to watch you.
At an instrumental break with a run of conga drums and trumpets, you pause in your mopping to do a little twirl as you dance, with a soulful roll of hips and a flair of salsa steps. It makes Deanâs smile kick up into a smirk.
He walks in on purposefully light feet until heâs sidled up behind you in the living room.
âNice moves, Shakira,â he quips.Â
It startles a shriek of surprise out of you as you whirl around. Deanâs smile hikes up into a grin, but it soon fades when he remembers the way your scream rang through his ears last night. The way his heart dropped into his stomach, and his head swiveled at the sound. And he saw you go down hard.Â
Then the rest of it tumbles through his mindâwhat he had to do afterwards in order to save you. How heâd did it without really thinking, his panic and determination blocking out almost everything else when heâd grabbed the kid. The monster, he forcibly reminds himself.Â
âYou trying to give me a heart attack?â you ask with a hand on your heart.Â
Dean forces himself to smile a little. âSorry. But might I remind you, not everyone hereâs an early bird.â
You give him a wry look.
âYouâre the only one around here who sleeps past 10 a.m. Cas dipped out a while ago, and Samâs on a run.âÂ
But you graciously grab your phone to lower the music to a more bearable level. Dean doesnât yet know this about you, but thisâlistening to music, dancing, cleaningâitâs all your way of copingâŠand releasing as much of your pain, terror, and regret from yesterday as possible.Â
You then look up at him more guarded. The two of you exchanged a lot of unsavory words last night. In fact, it may just be the worst fight you two have ever had in almost three years of knowing one another. Â
Dean senses the shift in you, and his amusement fades. He just can't let things stay like this. He won't.
He hazards drawing closer and touching your arm.
âLookâŠIâm sorry for snapping at you yesterday. I know I was being a dick,â he says. âYouâve just gotta understand something.â
You wait for him to continue with furrowed brows, sensing that whatever heâs about to say is hard for him.Â
âThereâs a reason I donât do this. The uh, relationship thing,â Dean continues, clearing his throat. His thumb swipes along your arm. âItâs not just this job. Itâs my fucked up life. I tried to warn you beforeïżœïżœâÂ
âDean,â you say with a sigh, but he raises his hand.Â
âPlease, justâŠlet me say it,â he says. âYou know the spiel. But things can change on a dime. Even on a damn milk run, like a dusty nest of vamps.â
You know that. You know you couldâve died yesterday, and he doesnât need to remind you of that fact. Before you can start to get petulant again though, Dean continues. His jaw is working, like this next part is more difficult for him to admit.
âTrust me when I say, us being together is dangerous, for both of us,â he says. âFor a while I, uhâŠI started to think Sam and I were better off alone.â
That casts you into dismay. Because you know Dean isnât lying. Heâs really contemplated spending the rest of his life devoid of love, so he wonât have to lose it.Â
Dangerous, for both of us.
You realize then what Deanâs really saying. Heâs afraidâŠafraid to lose you. You see it in his furrowed brows, the downturn of his lips, and whatever pain heâs trying to hide in the depths of his eyes.Â
And just like that, the water works start. You canât quite keep your tears at bay as you hold onto his shirt. He lets out a resigned sigh as he holds you by your arms.Â
âYou donât have to cry for that,â he says, a bit teasing.Â
âHave you met me?â you sniff. But you manage to look up at him with your glassy eyes. âIâm sorry too. God, Iâm so sorry, Dean.âÂ
Your fist clenches in his shirt when you remember Andy, latched onto your neck, and how Dean had to save you. You know heâs remembering it too when his brows furrow, and his gaze falls away. You reach a hand for his cheek.
âI know I fucked up,â you admit. âI was working with my heart, not my head. I justâŠâ
You wanted so badly to help that kid and his mother. You also know that Dean understands; you see it in his eyes. He holds your hand to his cheek and brushes his thumb across the back of your hand.
âI know,â he says. âI really am sorry, baby.âÂ
The problem is, you didnât just see your own mother in Rachel. She hadnât been much older than you. And when you imagine a life beyond hunting, more than anything (no matter how much you shove down the idea), you really do want a family of your own someday.Â
Itâs justâŠdays like yesterday remind you why that could be a very bad idea.Â
More of your tears bubble over, and you head willingly into Deanâs arms. âMe tooâŠâ
He holds you tighter than ever. His hands rub down your back, tangle in your hair, and he drops his lips onto your hair. You sniffle, wiping your face dry in his shirt. And for a while, the two of you have peace in the relative quiet.Â
Music still plays from the speaker though. And when another salsa song starts to play on your playlist, you start swaying. A smile works its way onto Deanâs face.Â
âYou canât help yourself, can you?â he teases.
You smile into his chest. âWe should go dancing sometime.â
Dean just laughs. âOooh, no.â
âOh, yes,â you reply, batting your lashes up at him. You slip a hand on his shoulder and into one of his hands. Heâs forced to hold you as if the two of you were about to start Fred Astair-ing across the living room.Â
âHave you ever danced before?â you ask. âLike real dancing.âÂ
âNot salsa, Iâll tell you that,â he quips.Â
âThatâs okay. Iâll teach you,â you reply with a coquettish smile. âItâs just a few simple moves.â
Dean gives you a wan look. âYou made it look anything but simple.â
You blush at that, but you meet him with a pout of disappointment. You donât let up, even when Dean frowns. He huffs at you in resistance.
âNo,â he insists. You just brush a gentle thumb along his neck, biting your lip in askance. Â
But the longer he stares at your beautiful, hopeful eyes, the more cracks form in his resolve.Â
Eventually, Dean breaks with a sigh, and a shake of his head.Â
âYouâre too much, you know that?â he mutters.
Itâs then that you know youâve won.
So with a happy squeal of excitement, you clap your hands and move to stand next to him so you can show him the basic steps of salsa dancing.Â
You make him take off his robe and slippers, leaving in his shirt and plaid pajama pants. Then you instruct him for a few minutes, correcting his footing and getting him to move on a beat. Youâre pleasantly surprised that he has some rhythm. Â
Dean sighs once again. How the hell did we get here? Heat crawls up the back of his neck as embarrassment starts to set in.Â
âThis is fucking ridiculous,â he grumbles.
âYouâre doing good,â you encourage, with a growing smile. âNow come on, feel the beat in threes. One, two, three. One, two, threeâŠâ
Once he sort of has the basic steps and turns down, you move to stand in front of him. There you show him how to hold you, how heâll move forward, and youâll move back. It takes a little while, but you slowly move through the combinations, then do a little twirl underneath his hand.Â
When he pulls you back in without faltering, you give him a beaming smile. âVery good!â
A subtle grin raises his lips at your enthusiasm. He also feels his face heating up at the praise.
But you pause when a certain song filters through the speakers. Itâs an old one (and it never fails to make you blush), but you love it. Â
âOoh, yes,â you exclaim with delight, and you turn up the volume.
âWhatâs this one?â Dean asks.
âVen DevĂłrame Otra Ves,â you inform him. Not that he knows what that means. You sing along a bit with the first couple of verses while you encourage Dean to lead you in the dance.Â
This song is just slow enough for him to attempt it, and the funny thing is, he doesnât feel all that uncomfortable with the steps now. Heâs starting to get a feel for how to move, both with his feet, and with his hands as he guides you by your waist, holding your hand close to his chest. Still, Deanâs also curious about the lyrics youâre singing.Â
âWhat does it mean?â he asks.
You huff in amusement. âYou sure you want to know?â
Dean raises a brow. âWell, now I gotta know.âÂ
You giggle at that, though you correct his steps when he leads with the wrong foot.Â
âOkay. Itâs about a guy whoâs pretty much a player,â you say with a smirk. âHis bed has been a revolving door of hot ass, but he keeps thinking about this one woman who used to have him turned inside outâŠâ
Deanâs lips curve at the familiar image youâre conjuring. He manages to turn you under his hand, then pull you back to him in one smooth motion. He looks down at you with a deeper gleam in his eyes. You bite your lip, soothing your hand from his shoulder and down his arm.
As the songâs verses come, you translate for him. And for Dean, your voice in itself is a spell.
âEven in my dreams, he says, I thought I had you devouring me. And I dampened my white sheets remembering you,â you begin. Your words are smooth like black velvet. âIn my bed, no one is like you, who draws my body on every corner, without a piece of skin left over.â
Dean is getting hot under the collar as you push away, dragging your fingertips along his back as you turn around him. When you come back into his line of vision, his attention is attracted to the sway of your hips, clad just in those little spandex shorts. He has to clear his throat a bit.Â
You eventually return to him with a warm hand against his chest.Â
âVen, devĂłrame otra ves. It means, come devour me again,â you continue, looking up at him from under your lashes, âCome punish me more with your desire. Because I kept my love for youâŠbecause my mouth has the taste of your body.âÂ
You smile at the laser focus of his green-eyed gaze. âCome devour me again.â
You push off with another little spin. When you reach for his hand, Dean yanks you back into him, eliciting a gasp. The move disorients you for a moment, but you giggle and hold onto his arms. Your hands glide up to rest on his shoulders.Â
Heâs holding you flush against him, and as you shift a thigh between his legs, you unintentionally graze against his hardening length. You look up at him with a smirk.
âYouâre a littleâŠstiff,â you say, both flirtatious and teasing. âLetâs loosen you up.â
You shake his shoulders out and try to get him to relax. Dean raises a wry brow, because you know damn well whose fault it is that his body is coiled tight. But you place his hands on your hips as you move back into the dance.Â
âFeel what Iâm doing there?â you ask. He looks down on you with growing heat.
âIf I could do that, we wouldnât be together,â he rumbles.Â
You try to stifle a laugh as he pulls you in close again, just swaying for a bit. Soon enough, you grin knowingly when his hands start to slide lower on your ass. His head bows to yours, ready to meet you with a kiss.Â
You stop him with your finger on his lips.
âQuestion: do you consider yourself more of a tits or ass man?â you ask him. Youâre half teasing, but still curious. Dean snorts at the question.Â
âMore of a connoisseur,â he replies, smirking.Â
âAh.â You nod sagely, and you point between him and yourself. âSo this is like a âsample the menuâ situation.â
Deanâs smirk deepens. âSweetheart, youâre a goddamn buffet.â
You splutter laughingâŠand thatâs when he finally pounces. He claims your lips with greedy passion. His hand winds into your hair, gripping tight and ruining whatâs left of your loose ponytail. The strands coil around his hand in messy curls while he also gets a healthy grip of your ass through your thin shorts.Â
You smile into his lips, even as you acquiesce to him guiding your head to the side, so he can slip his tongue against yours. You grip his arms more for stability while he manhandles you, kneading soft flesh and making pleasant tingles run up your spine.Â
After a little while, his mouth burns a hot path away from yours. He noses down your neck, skimming his lips across your skin. It sets your nerve endings on fire and gets you breathing more shallowly in his ear. You cling to the back of his shirt, holding him close.Â
Often heâs one to leave love bites of varying degrees, wherever he sees fit. But for a moment he stops at the crook of your neck, just pressing a lingering kiss.
He lets out a deep breath, and you realize heâs probably thinking about where you were bitten. The wound is gone, but it doesnât change whatâs imprinted in both of your minds. Â
A softer smile grows on your face. You trail your fingers up into his hair, massaging the back of his neck.Â
âIâm okay,â you remind him. Dean hums deep in agreement. You know, however, that heâs still thinking far too much.
So you slide your hands down, slow between the dips and planes of muscle in his back, and rest at his hips. Your thumbs delve under the hem of his shirt and tease the skin there.Â
And you start slow, pressing wet, nipping kisses of your own to his neck while you inch his shirt up. You feel his smile on your neck. His grip on your hip flares to life. Still, he lets you tug his shirt up and over his head. Your loose shirt comes next, revealing the same black satin and lace bra you wore the first time he ever got you topless in his arms.Â
A fan favorite. Dean grins. He reaches around to go for the clasp, but your firm push on his chest takes him by surprise.
He falls back onto the couch with a grunt, looking up at you then with raised brows. Youâve got a mischievous little smirk on your face that heats his blood and makes his cock twitch.
You take out the rest of your falling ponytail, shaking your hair out wild. Then you let your hands drift down your neck, over your clothed breasts, and finally to your little shorts.
Dean rubs his palms down his thighs and watches. A smirk forms across his lips as you slide the fabric down the curve of your hips. It leaves you in a red thong, familiar to him by the little tear it has on the front. (Again, his fault.)
You climb aboard his strong thighs to straddle his lap, using his shoulders as leverage as you sink down. You make sure to rub yourself teasingly against his clothed erection. He groans in appreciation. His hands fly to your soft, thick thighs and squeeze.Â
âAw, I like this,â Dean says, half on another moan as you grind down a bit harder on him.Â
âYeah?â you tease. You take his face in your hands and capture his lips with your own. Your tongue invades his mouth, and he welcomes you with a deep hum. Itâs slow and hot at first, but Dean feels the loss of you when you break from his lips.
Instead, you treat him with the same trail of kisses he gave you, along the curve of his jaw and down his neck. But you donât stop there.
Your hands move over his chest with purpose, tweaking over each hard nipple while your mouth burns a wet line down and down his sternum. Dean groans at your ministrations, but lets you leave his lap to slide down to the ground, between his thighs.Â
âWhatâre you up to, baby?â he asks, despite having a very good idea of it. He catches the playful, yet determined gleam in your eye.Â
You pause, briefly leaning back up to give him a heated kiss. You part from him with a grin.Â
âIsnât it obvious?â you ask. âIâm gonna devour you.â
Dean stares hard at you as goosebumps break out across his forearms.Â
Oh, fuck yeah.Â
A giggle bubbles in your throat at the expression on his face. But you continue, taking his pants down his legs first, before his boxer briefs.Â
Deanâs body tenses in anticipation. Youâve gone down on him before, but somehow itâs different this time. He feels like every single one of his nerve endings stands at attention along with his dick. And youâre taking your sweet time working him up.Â
Even when his cock is finally free, you sooth your hands down his legs first, maybe teasing him a bit as you drag your nails down his inner thighs. Dean makes a strained sound, though he tries to hide it by clearing his throat.
Your gaze flicks up to his with a little smile. Heâs holding the back of the couch; his fingers are digging into the old cushion in effort to keep still for you. But his eyes stare into yours like a man starving. You know what youâre in for after you have your way with him, but for now, heâs quite literally under your control.Â
So you take him in your hands first. Dean groans as you tease him with light touches, soft movements, your thumb slowly circling over the sensitive, weeping head of his cock. It's torturous enough to make him drop his head back against the couch, closing his eyes tight.
And suddenly, he blinks them open again.
âShit,â he utters, when you finally take him into your mouth. Your tongue is soft and wet, your lips move over him steadily, and your hands caress whatever your mouth canât take, even teasing his balls.Â
You work him over relentlessly, until he canât help but spill everything he has to give into your waiting mouth. When you suck off and swallow whatever remains, Deanâs heart stutters like syncopated conga drums.Â
He shudders and struggles for breath afterwards, watching your every movementâfrom wiping your mouth to shooting him that satisfied little smirk.Â
You press one last kiss to the inside of his thigh before you raise from where youâve been kneeling on the hard ground.Â
Dean manages to lean forward and helps you up by your elbows. But then he pulls you back into his lap and kisses you deeply. He doesnât let up until youâre panting with him.
âFuckinâ hell, sweetheart,â he manages to say. His voice is deep and laced with grit.Â
Heâs still panting heavily. You giggle and press your warming face into his neck.Â
âWhat, now youâre shy?â he remarks. And he has to laugh. âCome back here.â
He brings your face back to him with a hand on your cheek. For a second, he just looks at you. His thumb strokes across your full, thoroughly kissed bottom lip. Â
âSay it,â you encourage softly. âWhatever youâre thinking. Right now.â
A smile tugs at his lips. He canât help but oblige you.Â
âYouâre too damn much,â he says again, both gruff and fond. Despite how you drive him up the fucking wall sometimes, he doesn't think it'll ever be enough for him, what he has with you.
Because this is something he'd almost given up on. Didn't think he'd get to have it. And it almost scares him, how much he wants you. How much he...
âI love you,â he says. His thumb traces along the familiar curve of your cheek.
It hasnât been all that long, but he knows. You weaseled your way in without even trying. The least he can do for you is be honest.
Your fingers curl around his wrist, holding his hand in place. You tilt your head at him.
âOh, yeah?â you ask.Â
Dean hesitates, but he nods. âYeah.â
A smile grows across your face. âEh, Iâm still on the fence.â
At his flat look, you laugh and lean in for a kiss. He allows it, a little petulantly. But you make up for it with sweet affection. Your gentle hands stroke down the column of his neck, down his chest. You then lean back so he can see your face.
âYo te amo,â you whisper. âTe amo y te quiero, mĂĄs que tĂș puedes creer y entender.â
Dean smiles. He doesnât understand all of it, but he gets the important bits. He hears it in the tone of your voice. He sees it in your eyes. They shine with emotion, but mainly with love.Â
Dean kisses your hand. He lets go, just so he can slip his hands around you to finally unhook your bra. He tosses it across the room without bothering to see where it lands.
You do though, and you meet him with a slightly narrowed gaze.Â
âAre you making a mess of my clean bunker?â you tease.Â
His lips curve as he kisses you again, while his hands each get a generous handful of your breasts.Â
âAh, hello, ladies." He grins. "Miss me?â
You canât help but laugh. Heâs such a dork sometimes.
But you hum when his thumbs brush over hardened nipples, then drag deliberate circles over them, and pinch just hard enough to make you whimper in pleasure. The sensation zips through you, enhancing the flood between your legs.Â
âI fucking love that sound,â Dean mutters, and licks a hot path in the valley between your breasts. His lips move against your dewy skin when he says, âDo that for me again.â
When he takes a nipple in his mouth and nips a bit hard, you have to oblige him. Your voice rising high is music to his ears. Â
So he goes for your panties next. You help him get them off and return to his lap. With a breathy moan, you revel at the feeling of his fingers probing into your wet heat. Â
However, you and Dean have been too engrossed in one another to notice the door of the bunker unlocking, and heavy steps down the spiral staircase.Â
Itâs Sam whoâs back from his run. Unfortunately, he soon has to shield his eyes upon reaching the living room.Â
âDamn it, Dean!â
You yelp in surprise, but Dean laughs and holds you close to shield you from view. As a bonus, it presses your breasts against his chest.Â
âAll right, Sammy. Go to your room,â he chides playfully (but he means it). âThe adults are havinâ a moment.â
Sam scoffs. âYouâre having a moment on the goddamn couch!â
âSorry,â you say, though itâs muffled in Deanâs neck. Your face is red hot with embarrassment.Â
Sam rolls his eyes heavenward and tries not to see anything else on his way to his room.Â
But Deanâs chuckle reverberates through your chest as his hand goes to your cheek. He encourages you to pull back, so he can see your face again.Â
When he does, he smirks at the scarlet blush dusting your cheeks and neck. You bite your lower lip, but despite your embarrassment, youâre happy.
Your own words replay in your mind when you lean in for another kiss.
I love you, youâd said. I love you and I love you, more than you can believe and understand.Â
AN: Yay! I hope you enjoyed Part 2 of the âMidnight Espressoâ-verse! I loved writing this one so much. I know we're just doing fanfic here, but I genuinely put my heart and soul into this one. â€ïž
Also, here are a couple of Spanish translations:
(Note: other Spanish-speaking countries may interpret certain words differently.)
[During their fight]:Â
âQue sin vergĂŒenza tĂș eres. Sigue jodiendo conmigo, coño. Entonces tĂș vas a ver quien soy yo.â
Translation:
âYouâre shameless. Keep messing with me, damn it. Then youâre going to see who I am (<- This is Dominican slang. It essentially means fuck around and find out what I'm made of.).â
[Song lyrics: âYo No Se Mañanaâ by Luis Enrique]:Â
âYo no se mañanaâŠyo no se mañana. Si estaremos juntos, si se acaba el mundo.â
Translation:
âI donât know tomorrow. I donât know tomorrow. If weâll be together, if the world will end.â
Keep Reading:
Next in this series is "Chico Malo" ("Bad Boy"):
Summary: You catch Dean red-handedâwith one of his favorite episodes of Casa Erotica.
â¶ïž Next Story: Bad Boy (Chico Malo)
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hey i was wondering if i could request a pau cubarsĂ x reader. maybe one where he gets jealous of a guy hitting on the reader or talking to her at the balon dâor? thank you, i love you and your work â„ïž
Love Between⊠â Pau CubarsĂ.
Pairing: Pau CubarsĂ x Fem!Reader
Summary: In which you make it clear Pau is all you want.
Word Count: 530+
Disclaimer/s â Guy, just comfort/fluff really!
A/N: The summary lowk doesnât even fit but whatever I guess. First of all, thank you so much??? I love you :3 This was beautiful. I hate this but I donât at the same time, soooo. Soz.
Smoothing down the hem of your dress with your free hand, you stood close to Pau, whose pinky was still, to your surprise, interlocked with yours.
It wasnât anything stressful. He knew what he was doing and you were just there. Pau and his tendency to be attentive was something youâd grown to love. Then, suddenly, âThereâs Lamine!â
At the sound of your quiet voice, the boy looks down at you before looking up, meeting the gaze of his friend you had just pointed out. âIâll say hi to him later. Are you thirsty? Iâm sure theyâll have water bottles around here somewhere,â he says.
âIâm okay. Go talk to himâIâll be fine. Iâll manage.â
âI donât knowâŠâ he drawls. âDo you want to come with me? Heâll want to talk to you. You can, I donât know, maybe congratulate him or something.â
Rolling your eyes at his insistence, you poke his arm. âPau, please, have your moment with him.â
âIâokay! Okay. Iâll⊠be back before you know it.â
While he walks away, the Yamal boy starts talking to him the second he spots him. You see the way your boyfriendâs smile widens when he hands him his trophy. You loved him so much. It was insane.
Before you have the chance to keep your gaze fixated on them, you hear a voice catch your attention. âIâm sorry, excuse me, are you lost?â
âOh. Oh!â Awkward, okay. Haha. âNo, Iâm notââ
ââCause I can show you around if youâd like. I know this place like the back of my hand, yâknow.â
âThatâs nice⊠Iâm not lost. Thank you, though!â
His expression drops and he nods, but your answer doesnât stop him from continuing. How disappointing. âDid you come here alone?â
Can Pau come back? âNo, Iâm here with myââ
âSheâs here with me.â Oh, thank God.
Stiffening, the man purses his lips. âAh, I see. You two have a good rest of your day and⊠goodbye.â
Watching him depart, Pau looks over at you and frowns. âOdd of him. What did he want?â
âTo know if I was lost,â you answered honestly.
âHe was looking at you weirdly. Are you okay?â
âI didnât see how he looked at me, but Iâm fine. He offered to show me around or whatever, I refused. I was about to mention that I was here with my boyfriendâyou, and thatâs when you stepped in.â You fidgeted with your fingers. âThank you for that, by the way. He just came out of nowhere.â
âDidnât he? I left you alone for, like, a second.â
That gets a laugh out of you, and you warmly loop your arm with his. âHave I mentioned how glad I am that you came in when you did? Seriously.â
He smiles and shakes his head. âYou havenât.â
âWell, in that case, Iâm glad you came in when you did. So⊠how about that water! Iâm a bit thirsty.â
âWater, okay,â Pau hummed, placing his other hand on your arm. His cheeks flush when you lean into him and begin to walk around in hopes of finding your beverage, thatâs if you guys could.
You couldnât, however, you both pulled through.
Likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated ^_^.
DT(s) â @planetpedri + @spidybaby + @sakashq ! ౚà§
#pau cubarsĂ#pau cubarsĂ x reader#pau cubarsĂ x fem!reader#pau cubarsĂ x you#pau cubarsĂ x y/n#pau cubarsĂ fluff#pau cubarsĂ comfort#pau cubarsĂ blurb#pau cubarsĂ imagine#pau cubarsĂ oneshot#pau cubarsi#pau cubarsi x reader#pau cubarsi x fem!reader#pau cubarsi x you#pau cubarsi x y/n#pau cubarsi fluff#pau cubarsi comfort#pau cubarsi blurb#pau cubarsi imagine#pau cubarsi oneshot#request#jilval#love between⊠- kali uchis
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[12:38 AM]
Pairing: bsk x f!reader | wc: 1.7k warnings: crying, reader is overworked! a/n: this was 100000% inspired by @tusswrites // lowkey i need seungkwan to yell at me when i overwork myself lmao
Youâre on your third hour in the library, hunched over your laptop and surrounded by a mountain of research articles, notes, and half-finished slides. The quiet hum of the fluorescent lights overhead, paired with the almost oppressive silence of the empty library, only serves to amplify the tension coiling inside you. Your gaze flickers to the clock on the laptop screenâ12:38 AM. Tomorrowâs presentation looms over you like a storm cloud, the ticking clock counting down to when youâll have to stand in front of your professor, exhausted and empty, and pray you can keep it together long enough to pass.
Beside you, Seungkwan shifts in his seat, his eyes darting between you and the neglected water bottle he placed by your laptop hours ago. He had insisted on accompanying you to the library after noticing you hadnât stopped talking about this assignment all dayâever since you got it in the middle of class, youâd been laser-focused, muttering to yourself, planning out every detail. You could tell it worried him. Heâd even made a quick run to grab snacks and water, placing them strategically in front of you, like little tokens of support. But in your mind, you donât have time for snacks or breaks. Thereâs too much to get through, and the pressure is almost suffocating.
âHey,â he murmurs, breaking the silence. âYou havenât touched any of the snacks I bought. At least have a few sips of water.â
You shake your head, not even glancing at him. âIâm fine. I need to focus.â
He frowns. âItâs been hours since you ate anything. And donât think I didnât notice you skipped lunch too.â
You sigh, fingers still flying over the keys. âSeungkwan, I donât have time for this right now.â
He doesnât back down, crossing his arms and leaning in closer. âYouâre going to burn yourself out at this rate. Come onâjust five minutes. Iâll time it for you.â
âSeungkwan,â you bite out, tension lacing your voice. âPlease.â
He raises his hands in a gesture of surrender but doesnât move, clearly unconvinced. Minutes pass, with him silently watching your every move, his concern palpable. You try to ignore him, hyper-focused on your screen, but his gaze feels heavy.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, he speaks up again. âLook, I get that this is important. But you canât push yourself like this. Youâll be completely drained by morning, and then how are you supposed to do your best?â
âOh my god, Seungkwan,â you snap, hands freezing over the keyboard as you shoot him a glare. âCan you just⊠stop? This is important. I donât need you hovering over me like some kind of health monitor!â
He blinks, clearly taken aback. Hurt flashes in his eyes, and he swallows before nodding. âOh. Okay.â He stands up, quietly gathering his things and slinging his bag over his shoulder, his expression unreadable. âIâll leave you alone, then. Good luck.â
WHe grabs his bag and slings it over his shoulder, the sharp echo of his footsteps leaving an empty void between you. The silence he leaves behind feels louder than anything he could have said. You try to turn back to your laptop, but the guilt, thick and heavy, wraps around your chest. You shouldnât have snapped like that. He was just trying to help. Your fingers hover over the keys, but nothing feels right. You feel stuckâstuck in your frustration and your guilt, as if you canât do anything but wallow in the mess you've made.
Minutes drag by. The longer you sit there, the more the guilt gnaws at you, until it becomes too much to ignore. Without thinking, you push your laptop away and bury your face in your hands, trying to hold it all together. You donât even know why you feel so overwhelmed. It's just a presentation, just an assignment... but your heart races, your breath shortens, and the pressure of it all feels suffocating.
"I'm sorry," you whisper through your hands, but you donât even know who you're apologizing to. Yourself? Seungkwan? The quiet library? "Iâm sorry, please donât hate me."
Before you can collect yourself enough to go find him, the sound of footsteps breaks the stillness. Your head snaps up, and there he isâSeungkwan, standing in the doorway, holding a can of Celsius in one hand and a small protein bar in the other. His eyes soften when he sees you, and without a word, he places the drink and snacks on the table beside you. He leans down and presses a soft kiss to the top of your head, his touch gentle, reassuring.
You canât hold it in anymore. The tears spill over, hot and fast, and youâre suddenly choking on your own sobs. "Iâm sorry, Iâm sorry," you whisper over and over, barely able to breathe through the flood of emotion. "Please donât hate me."
He doesnât say anything, just wraps his arms around you and pulls you close. The warmth of his embrace, the steady heartbeat against your cheekâitâs more than you deserve, and yet itâs exactly what you need. The first tear slips down your cheek, followed by another, and then youâre sobbing, clutching onto him like heâs the only thing anchoring you to the earth.
âShh,â he murmurs softly, rubbing your back in gentle circles. âI would never hate you, baby. Itâs okay.â
His words feel like a balm, soothing the raw edges of your heart. You cry harder, the weight of the stress, the exhaustion, and the guilt all pouring out in choked sobs. âIâm sorry, I didnât mean it. I justâthereâs so much to do, and Iââ Your words dissolve into hiccups as you cling to him, tears soaking into his favorite sweater, the one he wears all the time, the one that smells like home.
He doesnât let go, holding you as tightly as if youâre the one keeping him steady. His fingers trace gentle circles on your back, and he whispers, âI know you didnât mean it. Youâre just stressed, and I get it.â He glances around, noticing the curious looks from other students. When one person stares a little too long, he shoots them a sharp look, muttering, âWhat are you staring at?â
You manage a weak laugh through your tears, feeling a strange warmth in your chest despite everything. But then you notice the mascara streaks and the growing damp patch on his sweater, and you pull back with a fresh wave of panic. âOh no. No, no, noâSeungkwan, this is your favorite sweater, and now it has my snot and mascara all over it!â
He lets out a soft chuckle, giving you a reassuring squeeze. âBaby, itâs fine,â he says, brushing your hair back from your face. âItâs just a sweater.â
âBut you love this sweater!â you sniffle, fighting back another round of tears. âIâthis is your favorite, and now Iâve ruined itââ
âHey, stop that,â he says, gently wiping the tear tracks from your face with his thumbs. âItâs okay. I can wash it, alright? Let it all out; Iâm here.â His voice is so tender, so steady, and it only makes you cry harder.
He holds you tighter, rubbing your back in soothing circles and whispering little reassurances, letting you release all the tension and guilt into his shoulder, sweater be damned. âIâm here. Just let it out. Youâre allowed to feel this way.â
Youâre sniffling and hiccuping, clinging to him as you let yourself fall apart in his arms. With every gentle touch, he brings you back to a place where you can breathe again, where the overwhelming chaos of your mind finally begins to settle.
When you pull back, eyes red and puffy, he just smiles, reaching for your hand. âDo you wanna go home?â he murmurs.
You shake your head, sniffling. âI⊠I canât. I have so much to do.â
âAlright.â He doesnât hesitate. âThen weâre staying. Together.â
You look at him, blinking through blurry eyes. âWait, youâre staying? Seungkwan, itâs past 1 AM. You donât have to do that.â
He just raises an eyebrow, a hint of his usual sass creeping back into his voice. âWhat kind of boyfriend would I be if I left my girlfriend to study alone in a library at 1 AM? If youâre not gonna let me nag at you, at least let me stay and keep you company.â
You canât stop the small, grateful smile that tugs at your lips. He settles back into the chair beside you, pulling your laptop towards him and scanning your notes. âAlright, so whatâs the first thing we need to work on?â
Heâs right there beside you, the same soft hum of his voice providing background noise as he helps you with the presentation. Hours pass, and time feels less like an enemy with him there, guiding you through it with gentle corrections and quiet encouragement. The soft glow of the laptop screen reflects in his eyes as he leans over your shoulder, pointing out a flaw in the data and offering a suggestion with that familiar, sarcastic edge you know so well.
At some point, he shoves a bottle of water at you, eyebrows raised in that way that makes you roll your eyes, even though you know whatâs coming. You donât protest this time, just take it from him and drink, the coolness of it grounding you.
He watches you for a moment, satisfied with your compliance, before a small, quiet smile curls up at the corners of his lips. Itâs not loud or teasing, just... there, like a secret between you two.
You donât say anything, and neither does he.
But the unspoken understanding between you feels clearer than it ever has. And for the first time in hours, you find yourself thinking, maybe... itâll be okay.
Seungkwan just keeps working, his fingers tapping lightly against the table as he goes over your notes. And for the rest of the night, thereâs a quiet comfort in the way heâs simply there, letting you work, giving you space, but still keeping you grounded.
You donât need to say anything. His presence is enough.
#boo seungkwan x reader#boo seungkwan x you#boo seungkwan headcanons#boo seungkwan drabbles#boo seungkwan imagines#seungkwan imagines#seungkwan x reader#seungkwan x you#seungkwan headcanons#seungkwan drabbles#seventeen imagines#seventeen x reader#seventeen x you#seventeen drabbles#seventeen reactions#seventeen headcanons#svt drabbles#svt headcanons#svt imagines#svt reactions#svt x reader#svt x you#seventeen#svt#boo seungkwan#seungkwan#tara writes#svt: bsk
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Sooo, I have a thought from an ask i saw about yandere beasts towards the ancients...
What if the Beasts became yandere towards YOU instead?
Although, the Ancients have the same feeling too, which may lead to high tensions in the air.
What would YOU in that scenario?
-A Self-Aware/Yandere lover Anon
Wait, me? Me specifically? Merchant? The person answering this ask? That's certainly an interesting thought...
If the Beasts became yanderes towards me, then I would fucking panic lol. I don't condone this kind of behavior irl, it's fun to write fictional crazy people but nobody wants to endure ACTUAL crazy people. Stalkers are sick and dangerous and need to be put away, and it's a damn shame it's not taken seriously by law enforcement anywhere (not until it escalates to violence, anyway, unfortunately)
With that said, let's terrorize Merchant for a little bit
IF THE BEASTS ARE STILL JUST COOKIES:
Step on them immediately, they're like 3 inches tall wait, would that work? They have powers and are crazy strong. What can they actually do against humans? Would stepping on them just break my fucking foot?
Send my dog after them no wait, I don't want them to hurt my dog. I love my dog very much. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to him. I'd never forgive myself if I let him try to eat them and he just got turned into flour or something
Pour milk on them ONE OF THEM IS MADE OF MILK ALREADY GODDAMN IT
Hide the box of cookies I like to get from the store, because they probably wouldn't appreciate the fact that I love to eat cookies (they're just like this đȘ but still)
Try to trap them in the fridge momentarily, hope they don't destroy my nice fridge
Make a deal where they are allowed to live in and explore my house provided they damage nothing and hurt no one
Give them head scratches (especially Spice, his head looks Very Scratchable)
Give them tiny little kisses if they behave themselves (however, if I give one a kiss, I have to give them ALL kisses, or else the other 4 will retaliate against me out of jealousy)
I will also allow them to sit on my shoulders if they behave themselves and don't try to yank on my hair or my ears or something
Wait, do cookies know what sex is? Are they capable of sexual feelings? If so, how do they deal with them? Do they have the... equipment for that? WHAT IF THEY TRY TO HUMP MY FINGERS OR SOMETHING OH GOD-
Contact federal authorities and hope that they believe me when I say superpowered talking cookies are in my house, so they can come take them away and perhaps experiment on them
Probably never sleep again because there's a batch of little satanic cookies in my house that all want to fuck me for some reason (I'm ugly and a normie, wtf did I do to deserve this đ)
IF THE BEASTS ARE HUMAN:
immediate death
panic x10000000000
I hc Spice as being at least 6'5''/198cm and 200+/90+ lbs/kg so I'm cooked 7 ways to Sunday just with him
Seriously I'm just a short nerd irl. Assuming they still have their powers, my life is literally over
Do everything in my power to convince them all my loved ones are dead so they don't go harm them out of jealousy (ESPECIALLY my SO, God have mercy, I'll probably have to tell him to go hide in his home country for a while)
Try to barricade myself in a church, hope that the "demons cannot set foot on hallowed ground/in God's house" rule applies to them, beg God to save my sorry ass while they try to break in and drag me back out
Can't call the cops because A) stalking and harassment are not taken seriously by police, B) they won't believe me when I say that 5 supervillains are trying to kidnap and marry me, C) by the time they realize I'm telling the truth, they will already have been hanged/put into a coma/beheaded/turned to flour/cut up into salt cubes
I actually only like men irl so I am in deep trouble with Flour and Sugar especially
Try to flee the country (probably won't work but I'll try anyway and hope they don't get too mad about it), hide out in the Yukon or some bumfuck nowhere village in Russia, I'd rather face a polar bear than these guys
Probably still be forced to let them live in my house in exchange for peace and obedience
...I don't know if tiny head scratches and kisses would cover it this time
Hope that they're all possessive enough to only harass me one at a time, instead of... more than one at a time, because that counts as sharing and yanderes don't really like doing that
Try to pit them against each other constantly. If they're too focused on arguing about who I belong to or whatever, then they can't focus on tormenting me
Would like to try to stab or shoot them but idk if conventional weaponry works on them at all
If I HAD TO pick one to say yes to, it would be Burning Spice. He is sexy af. Then, hopefully, I can weaponize this and get him to defend me from the others
IF THE ANCIENTS LIKED ME TOO, BUT WERE NORMAL:
Yay, sanity. I'll tell them to PLEASE get the Beasts away from me. They can sort out whatever they feel towards me later, we've got a bigger problem on our hands than that
COOKIES: I will keep them safe in my house under the same conditions as the Beasts: behave and do not harm anyone or anything
HUMANS: Look, can I just... send them back? How did any of these guys get here, anyway? Can I please just shove them back through the portal or whatever they used to get here? Even if I wasn't taken, I don't think I'd have the strength or patience to put up with anyone's shit. Can we just be friends? I'd love to be friends. I need a mom friend like Hollyberry in my life
If necessary, I am picking Dark Cacao. Seriously, I love my big, strong men. Merchant is a basic bitch at heart lol
IF THE ANCIENTS WERE YANDERES TOO:
Are you fucking kidding me
Am still picking Cacao, fuck all of you
#cookie run kingdom#burning spice cookie#golden cheese cookie#shadow milk cookie#silent salt cookie#hollyberry cookie#dark cacao cookie#mystic flour cookie#eternal sugar cookie#white lily cookie#pure vanilla cookie#yandere beasts
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EPISODE 28 ⊠PLEASE LOVE ME AT MY WORST
LOVE, MAYBE â A CHILDE SMAU
masterlist / prev ep / next ep / wc: 1265.
fifteen minutes is almost up; am i about to die?
ajax thoughts wander to all sorts of places as he nervously checks and watches the time move on his wristwatch. as to why he agrees so easily to your request to talk to himâhe doesnât know either. it just felt⊠right to agree.Â
he knows it would pain him to say no to you anyway.
perhaps it was just the small part of him that still hopes. that one little speck in him that hopes this âtalkâ would mend the rift that had formed between the two of you. it was probably stupid to have such expectations when he was pretty sure you were dead set on your answer to him before.
so it confuses him. why did you want to talk? did you want to just slap it in his face once again? no, you werenât like that. you would never do something that mean. but that just leads him back to square one: why?
the sound of soft footsteps growing louder alerts ajax, and he takes a deep breath because he knows itâs you. yet he takes a glance to check anyway. there you were, standing before him as he gets the familiar feeling of being starstruck surging through him. keep it together, ajax. he warns himself.Â
âhiâŠâ you softly said.Â
âhey.â
hey? who the hell says hey nowadays, ajax? get a grip! he mentally scolds himself, forcing him to pull out a tight smile to you instead to save him from his embarrassment. meanwhile, you thought otherwise of his reaction. oh god, he probably hates me. he never gives me that smile. it looks so forced. he probably just felt bad and forced himself to meet me out at this hour. your thoughts ran fast inside your mind as you fiddled with your fingers.
âuhm.. i wanted to talkââ
âso why did you want to meetââ
you both paused when you realized you both spoke at the same time. âyou go first,â he insisted. but you gestured otherwise and told him, âoh, itâs fine. you can go.â
âi insist. ladies first?â
seeing as this would go nowhere if you just went back and forth like that, you took a deep breath.Â
âi love you.â
for the whole day (and the additional fifteen minutes ajax gave you), you thought of many ways on how to approach childe with the topic of what happened before. yet none of those really started with âi love you." the best option you got after thinking so hard actually started with âiâm sorry.â the âi love youâ part was supposed to be near the end of the whole monologue you had prepared inside your head.
ajax only stared at you, dumfounded at your words. âshit, sorry, iâthat wasnât how i wanted to start, uhmââ you let out a sigh, a slightly shaky one at that because of your mistake. donât fuck up this one up and run away again, (name). you mentally took note. but then again, fuck that monologue you prepared beforehand. if you want to do this properly, then itâs better to do this as bare as your emotions could get, right?
taking another deep breath, you decided to speak up again before ajax could. âiâm going to be honest. i actually prepared some long speech that is supposedly transcribed inside my brain right now. but i definitely think i just forgot a good chunk of that speech now that iâm actually with you.âÂ
âiâm sorry, ajax. i let my fear get the best of me that day. i never wanted to tell you to go away; in fact, i know that i wanted nothing more than for you to hold me at that moment.â you let out a bitter chuckle at that. ajax watches you, listening to every word carefully. he takes in your appearance as well, and the slightly swollen and redness of your eyes were obvious enough for him to know your state as of late.
âi never wanted to push you away. and god, i feel so stupid and guilty for everything that i said that day. because i know none of those were true. well, i guess minus the part where i listed my flaws... because i know those were true in some senseâbut i want toâno, nevermind that. iâm trying to change my ways.â you corrected yourself.
âi asked dehya and the others for some advice. and they were right when they said that you had a positive impact on my life and that iâve never been this happy with someone else other than them. because i swear, youâre just a different case for me, ajax. you make me happy in ways i never thought anyone could bring me joy. when i thought i didnât have anyone by my side, you were there for me.â
âand i feel so, so, so fucking stupid for shutting you away that day. because deep inside, i knew my heart wanted otherwise. my brain wanted you to leave me alone, but i knew my heart wanted for you to stay. for you to tell me that everything is alright.â
âi guess the main gist of everything that iâm saying is that i love you; iâm sorry. i love you, ajax. and i know iâm probably late, and that you probably hate me right now, and also how you probably just forced yourself outside just so you could meet up with me, but i love you. this whole thing is honestly still scary to me, considering this is the first time i have experienced this in my whole lifespan of eighteen years right now.â
âyet i still love you despite that. iâm sorry that it took me a while. and again, you donât have to reciprocate itâi just wanted to let this all out. and like i said, you probably hate meââ
âam i allowed to speak now?â ajax.
âiâyeah, go ahead.â
âhave i told you that iâm so proud of you?â he asks. you donât know where heâs going with this. âyou mightâve mentioned it once or twice in the past, yeah.â he chuckles at your reply. it feels like your walking on thin ice because you really have no idea if heâs about to drop a bomb right now about him rejecting you.
you donât think you could handle that anyway.
âthank you, (name). i personally didnât know what to expect with what you were going to say. but i donât hate you. i could never hate you. not now, not ever. hell, i knew that if i said no to your request of having a talk i would definitely regret it. and iâm proud of you that you managed to say all of that. learning how to communicate is a big step already, you know?â
ajax takes a step closer and you didnât take a step back this time. you let him get close to you this time, fixing the distance that grew after you pushed him away. âand for the record, i love you tooâ he says, a bit more quietly, as if he really wants only you to hear those words coming from him. âthat fact isnât going to change anytime soon, silly.âÂ
âiâm sorry again. but iâm ready now. iâm prepared to take a risk in this whole thing they call love. so please love me at my worst, ajax.â
the night ends with ajax walking you home once againâbut this time there wasnât a single residue of the bitterness from before.
this time, it was filled with relief.
extra notes.
yayyyy!!! communication!!!!
i didn't expect for this episode to be so long. i was 700+ words in when i realized that it was going to be a bit lengthy.
taglist (open): @xianyoon @mitsvriii @kizakiss @kissingkzuha @aethion @phtogravi @ell1e2010 @esthelily @b4tm4nn @hcmay @ivvieene @morganadorodo @kaitfae @kentply @scaranthropy @kyon-cherri @kookiibun @kochothehoe @mekiiiii @ibyobi @iuspired @tetsuskei @kunikuzushis-darling @morgyyyyyyy @chluuvr @scaradooche @kissmiere @a1-ic3 @bubblegum-angelquartz @tiredjxnna @levlucs-kiru @angeilix @cerisescherries @saeskiss @a-talkative-corn @briluvspnk @kamisatoyato @bbysatoruuu @viviixoxosblog @bambisz @chemiru @eternal-dokja @bflyprincess @jamieexistss @monocerosei @enjisthings @jangyung @hahalame @cupid-spams @snzhrchy @ukinya @luciledreamz @bisatanica @bananasquash @almond-t0fu @thegalaxyisunfolding @jaguarthecat [1/2]
#( smau â love maybe ! )#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact#genshin imagines#genshin smau#childe x reader#childe genshin impact#childe smau#ajax x reader#ajax#childe#x reader
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lucanis: sorry i missed the shot and doomed your home rook. that one's my bad. if you don't advance my personal quest it'll happen again though.
harding: i think we're all a little distracted. this isn't like the inquisition where people could put aside their personal problems with little to no consequences. we need to sort through our issues or we will never defeat the elven gods!
davrin: why am i alive. i should have died back there. i should be dead.
my beautiful dwarven wife who was recently in an accident he shouldn't have survived and who nobody else ever acknowledges: rook......listen to me......you need to advance everyone's companion quests if you want the optimal ending.........think of it more like dragon age 2, which i was in with my crazy group of friends....what fun we used to have.........now listen closely rook.......follow the quest markers to speak to davrin and lucanis in their rooms............oh..but i feel so weak..........all this talking has tired me out
neve: rook... you're staring into space again
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Yes, I am alive....no, I don't even know where it is that I disappeared to, but I'm back đ so here's some Rafe angst that does end happy, though
"Rafe, what's wrong?" You gasp as you see your boyfriend absolutely distraught....
You hadn't heard from Rafe all day, which is werid for him. If you two can't be together that day, then he'll call you at least. But he hadn't even texted you either. That's why you're knocking at Tannyhills door right now. Wheezie had let you in, and you could tell the house was tense by the look on her face. It was just her and Rafe. You didn't hear or see Ward, Rose, or Sarah around
You knock on his door before entering. "Wheezie, go away, I don't want to talk right now," he yells behind the door. You open it anyway and peek inside and see him on the edge of his bed
You tell him softly, "It's just me, Rafe." He whips his head towards you and can see that his eyes are teary and red. And omg, there's a bruise under his eye. And maybe even his lip is cut?! His hair looks disheveled like his hands had been running through it
"Rafe, what's wrong!?" You gasp as you see your boyfriend absolutely distraught. "What...what are you doing here?" As he stands up and looks away from you
"I came to check on you...I hadn't heard from you it's not like you." You tell him as he looks away from you. "Rafe, tell me what happened," you ask him, your tone pleading a little, trying to find out what happened that has him like this
"Just fucking go. I don't want you seeing me like this, " his voice raising at you, still looking away from you. He never would talk to you like this
"Don't talk to me like that, Rafe...I'm your girlfriend. I have a right to find out what's got you so upset so I can help." Your tone is firm but still caring
"God, I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to raise my voice at you," he tells you his tone softer now. He turns around to you. "Oh Rafe," you gasp out and walk up to him and inspect the black eye forming already. He does infact have a cut on his cheek and his lip, too
"Did you get into a fight?" You look at him, knowing how he was before meeting you. "No, no, I promise," his tone serious. You can tell he didn't fight as you see his hands are clean, no cuts or blood on them
"If you won't tell me then... just let me fix you up and take care of you." Your eyes finding his that are watering again. He mumbles "Ok" as you step closer to him and hold his hand, moving him towards his bathroom
He sits on the toilet seat as you grab some things to patch him up, still curious as to what happened. You clean his cuts, making sure they don't get infected. He winces when you use a cleaning spray. "I'm sorry, baby." You lean down and kiss, his forehead
"It was my dad," he blurts out as you make eye contact with him. Trying not to move or speak, so he continues on. "He got pissed off because the job he had me working on fell through." his eyes look hurt. You knew that he had been working on it and trying so hard to make it work.
He's holding your waist as if you'll keep him grounded while telling you. "I told him that I tried everything, and the guy had pulled out last minute. He didn't believe me... said I must have fucked something up." Rafes words mumbled as he presses his face into your stomach, not being able to look at you
"When I defended myself again he pushed me and when I tried to push him away he punched me and his ring cut me too" he looks finally up at you as you both have tears in your eyes
"Oh Rafe," you look at him, pulling him to you so you can hug him properly. "I...I didn't even defend myself. I just walked away after like a coward." He sounds defeated and tired. "You did the right thing. You're the bigger person. You've grown from this behavior." You try to help him calm down and reason with him that he did good
"You know how much worse it could've been baby if you would've fought him back," you say, holding his face to look you in the eyes. "You are a stronger man for walking away. Your father is the coward."
"I fucking hate this" he looks up at you eyes watery. "I'm so tired," Rafe says, his voice and face breaking your heart
You pull him up and start moving him back to the bedroom. "Let's get you comfortable and in bed," you smile up at him, doing your best to help him. Rafe just mindlessly follows you as you pick out sweats for him to change into
"Let me help you," you step closer to him to start getting his shirt off. "You don't have to, baby," his voice soft while looking at you. "I know... but I want too" you say as you get him into sweatpants
As you get him into bed and make him comfortable, he grabs your hand. "Can you stay here tonight?" Rafe asks softly. "Of course I was just gonna change into something comfortable," you cup his face before changing
When you're changed into one of Rafes' shirts and a pair of underwear, you climb into bed with him. His eyes are puffy from crying and swollen from his black eye. It breaks your heart seeing him like this, knowing he's eating himself up over his dad's shit
"Rafe...." you ask as he's snuggled against your back, cuddling against you. "Yes, love," he says, sleepy. "You should move in with me," you blurt out. You feel his body stiffen for a second until he says, "I'll start packing in the morning." He kisses your neck as he falls asleep
Next morning, you wake up to the sounds of Rafe packing his things up with a smile on his face.
#rafe x you#rafe x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron fluff#rafe imagine#rafe cameron#rafe outer banks
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More Olympian Dnd
Hermes: ok so the dragon is finally slain. And you see all of the treasure and weapons it was hording, Ares! You get a giant war axe powered by its owners will power!
Athena under her breath: so itâs not powered at all.
Hermes: Shhhh! Apollo: you get a magical lyre! Artemis: you get a bow that no matter where you target is anything you shoot from the bow will hit its target!
Artemis and Apollo: LETS FUCKING GO!
Hermes: Heracles you get a +3 great sword enchanted with flames!
Heracles: âŠâŠ. thanks.
Hermes: Hephaestus! You receive a war hammer that can make the earth shake and bend to your will!
Hephaestus: cool.
Hermes: Athena you get a shield that can absorb any elemental attack for 3 rounds.
Ares: LAME!
Hermes: Aphrodite, you get ummm hold on let me check my notes, hmmm you know what you get a dagger.
Aphrodite: ok.
Hermes: and uhh Dionysus? Your still unconscious roll a death save!
Dionysus: ugh, go fuck yourself! Oh no.
Hermes: what? Whatâs wrong?
Dionysus: Iâm just going to leave.
Hermes: so you died?
Dionysus: 100%.
Hermes: âŠ.. THEN JUST MAKE A NEW CHARACTER!
Dionysus: I DONâT WANT TO!
Hermes: KILL YOURSELF, OR PAY YOUR CHILD SUPPORT!
Dionysus: YOU FIRST MAIL BOY! AND I WILL WHEN YOU LET ME PLAY A BARD!
Hermes: I AM NOT DEALING WITH MORE THAN TWO BARDS FUCKBOI!
Hermes and Dionysus: Unintelligible arguing
Apollo: I wish you would take being a bard seriously and not just try to seduce everyone, Aphrodite.
Aphrodite: huh? Are you talking to me?
Apollo: YES!
Aphrodite: sorry I was appreciating Aresâs body.
Apollo: ohhh you horny bitch! He and Artemis high five without looking at each other.
Athena: Hermes! Can we continue?
Hermes: AND ANOTHER THING! BEING THE GOD OF âPLEASUREâ IS A COP OUT, AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT! Uhhhh, no Athena we cannot cause this is where weâre pick up next session, you guys can go.
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some brilliant minds 1x08 thoughts; spoilers within so proceed on your own judgement
those two nerds are so into each other and it's so loud also CAROL IMMEDIATELY CLOCKING THEM
josh like pls don't put me in the middle of your feud but then when oliver leaves he whips his head around like WAIT I DIDN'T MEAN GO THOUGH
"I am sorry to report that you have... a twinkle in your eyes" ANGEL
I know it's not the time or whatever but muriel is so hot
carol get behind me I will protect you
at this point their little last name thing is basically foreplay and the way we will get them saying each others first names in a moment of extreme intimacy I'm so ready
"when we're tog- when we're on a case together I need open channels of communication"
THESE NERDS ARE SO FUCKING HORNY FOR EACH OTHER
they are frantic in a way that tells me the sex is fucking feral
this lady's sons SUCK also yes jacob you stand up for that woman's sex positivity
this lunch date has everything. giggling. genuine admiration. nerding out together. roasting. flirting.
heartbeats being the romantic soundtrack to this episode is A Lot
carol get behind me and dana we will protect you
josh trying to impress oliver with his military man intimidation tactics AND IT WORKS?
also they are 100% that couple that just looks at each other a little too long or flirts a little too close to the sun and then suddenly they're trying to eat each other in a room full of people
CAROL GET BEHIND ME DANA AND OLIVER WE WILL PROTECT YOU
"I don't want that for you" with tears in his eyes my god i love them
"just don't hurt him" and you can see josh start to panic like oh god I will and I don't even think he cares about how awkward it would be professionally but he cares about oliver and he feels it in that moment that oliver's heart is something special, oliver is something special and for anyone else this could be casual but he knows for them it's not
josh DEVASTATED that oliver let it go without a fight. he wanted to walk in there and be told in no uncertain terms that he was being ridiculous. he wanted oliver to call him on his bullshit, to get under his skin the way only he can. and the one time he finally concedes, defers, even though it's obvious that he's just going along and josh hates it and he wants to take it all back so bad
CAROL NOOOOOOO
dana giving june a sex toy just incredible and I love her so much
old people throuple diversity win
I didn't need protection, I needed LOVE. and he's talking about after his dad died but he's also talking about now. he's also talking about how happy he is with josh and how they could love each other if they let themselves
I just know sex with van is INSANE imagine the giver that man is when he can also feel the pleasure his partner is feeling
our odds are 60/40 but you've proven me wrong before. and heartbeats fading in. and someone is choosing oliver even though it won't be easy, and pain is inevitable but so is joy and this could be it and they both know it
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Jaune: *Wielding the relic of destruction* It's over Pyrrha! Give me back my son!
Pyrrha: Don't you mean, "our" son?
Jaune: Pyrrha... y-you look so different.
Pyrrha: I did a little something with my hair. And my lips.
Jaune: Are those thigh highs?
Pyrrha: So you noticed those too?
Ironwood: Okay Jaune, take the shot.
Pyrrha: What do you think of them?
Jaune: I uh... um-
Ironwood: She's standing right there, Jaune. Take the shot.
Pyrrha: Do you like my open bust dress~?
Jaune: Oh god yeah.
Qrow: What the hell is wrong with you?!
Port: Blast this harpy!
Jaune: I'm sorry guys, b-but I cant.
Port: The shrew has been forged from brimstone.
Qrow: Translation?
Ironwood: He's saying she's an evil clone.
Jaune: I hear ya. Counterpoint:
Jaune: She's really hot.
Qrow: Damn it Arc!
Port: Reject women! Embrace huntsmanship!
Ironwood: Can't you see how evil she is?!
Pyrrha: I'm going for the goth girlfriend look.
Jaune: Okay guys, I know she's an evil clone... But, she is the mother of my child. To be honest, this situation is confusing as hell for me. I... I'm tapping out.
Qrow: Tapping out?
Ironwood: You're a huntsman, you can't tap out.
Jaune: Dude, I'm tapping out.
Port: What would Ozpin think of this treason?
Jaune: The professor?
-Flashback-
Ozpin: You're like a son to me Jaune, I trust you with my very life. I want you to know that I keep a gun in hidden inside my cane. It's always with me Jaune. I sleep with it. I dream of it. You can never be too careful around these students-
Jaune: It's not working, he... keeps talking about guns.
Ironwood: Guns?
Jaune: Yeah.
Qrow: That doesn't sound right.
Pyrrha: Are you sure this isn't his evil clone?
Jaune: He kind of hinted it was for... self defense?
Port: Guns are nothing before my axe!
Qrow: Isn't your axe also a gun?
Port: Silence!
Ironwood: You don't think the professor actually used it do you?
Jaune: Do I think the professor shot someone? No, of course not. That's like totally ridiculous. Besides, we would have heard about it.
Pyrrha: He could have just wiped your memories.
Jaune: What?
Pyrrha: He could have shot someone then wiped everyone's memories about the event. With his magic it would have been easy for him.
Jaune: This is a terrifying thought.
Ironwood: Don't listen to her Jaune!
Pyrrha: Join me Jaune. The Grimm Queen needs a king.
Jaune: Not gonna lie, Grimm Queen is kind of weird, but i'm in.
Port: Step away from her you fool!
Jaune: I'm kind of bricked up at the moment.
Qrow: Don't worry Arc, I know this ain't easy. That's why I offer myself... as a sacrifice. Do what you want to me Pyrrha, make me your freaky sex puppet for all I care. Just let Arc go!
Port: What a noble gesture!
Ironwood: He is truly the best of us.
Qrow: Tie me up. Slap me. Step on me! It's alright, my ego ain't that big. Just leave the kid out of this!
Jaune: I know what you're doing.
Qrow: You ain't gotta thank me Jaune. Y'know... I really shoulda said this sooner, but... but you're like a brother to me!
Jaune: You've always had a thing for her.
Qrow: Oz would've been proud of ya, kid. I know I sure as hell am.
Jaune: You can't just live out your sick fantasies with my fake goth girlfriend!
Port: Your words can no longer reach him... His heart is set.
Ironwood: We shall remember you, Qrow... We shall remember you.
Qrow: So Pyrrha... How ya wanna do this? Should I take off the cape now, or-
Pyrrha: Sorry, Qrow, but you're a little old for my taste. Not to mention a furry.
Qrow: Furries deserve love!
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hiiii!
soooo i read and reread all your f1 fics.
since they are all so effing amazing, well written, funny when needed, you must have a great taste in fics. sooo do you maybe, perhaps have any landoscar fic recommendations??
have a mega day!
-đ«
hi đ« anon!!! this was. the absolute loveliest ask to wake up to this morning so thank you SO much for sending it đđđđđ
you are so kind and please know all of these compliments have absolutely made my day!!!!!
and GOD i would LOVE to give some landoscar fic recommendations, there is nothing i love more than talking about authors i adore
i very much started rambling about these fics so i'm putting my recs below the cut!
ok immediately we're off to a rogue start because i'm going to recommend a fic that isn't posted yet but @1425fivefive's upcoming fic Learned Behavior is just honestly going to be one of the best things you will ever read - i have been honoured to receive SO many wonderful snippets from it and every single one is just as amazing as the others and i am SO excited to see the full thing
i am legally and contractually obligated to put three-sixteenths by @ipleadbritney on here because i am actually three-sixteenths' biggest fan and as part of that it is in fact my job to make sure everyone has read one of the most DELIGHTFUL magical realism fics of all time, one that fills me with such joy every time i think about it, let alone read it
by love remembered by @lellabellas is just. i LOVE fairytales so much and the way this is such a gorgeous homage to fairytales whilst also being one of the most wonderful fanfics you will ever read is honestly just. a sign of talent of truly the highest degree!!!!
brevity is the soul of wit by a_new_anon because i absolutely have to recommend one of the absolute CUTEST texting fics i have ever read. i grinned my entire way through reading it and i cannot recommend highly enough oh my GOD
the devil in me by @its-all-papaya because who am i as a person if i'm not constantly Obsessed with the idea of jealous oscar piastri. GOD this fic has everything - including one of my favourite final lines of any fic like. ever
AND on top of all of these, because i am a firm believer in showing love and affection to tumblr drabbles as well, please have a few of my favourites of those as well:
I'll Wait (I'm Sorry) by @wanderingblindly because liquid reblogged this again recently and this version of landoscar has NOT LEFT MY BRAIN SINCE!!! i reread it and had to sit down lest i faint. concept of all time i fear!!!!!!!
fireworks - prompt by @foggieststars because every so often i think about what landoscar will be like when they're no longer teammates and then i remember it doesn't matter because i can just think about one of the Sweetest drabbles i have ever read about lando and oscar dealing with oscar leaving and i am calm again
immortal - osctober prompt by @nyoomfruits because sad immortal vampire oscar has actually been haunting me for the last month and i am still SO SAD ABOUT IT (but like. in a good way obviously)
ok i will cut myself off there but !!!!! anon thank you so much for allowing me to ramble on about all this writing i love so much!!!! and thank you again for the kind words đđđ
also if anyone would like to not be tagged, please let me know!!!
#i had SO much fun putting this together oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!#thank you again anon!#fic recs#landoscar#asks#mine
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Largely for reference, the conversations Jaheira's kids have with each other. Rion talks to Fig and Tate, Jord talks to Jhessem (and the plants); there's four bits of dialogue each.
Rion and Fig
"Poor dummy. Look at its arms - it just wants a hug."
"That's why it keeps losing. Dummy."
-
"Am I supposed to pretend that sword you're swinging wasn't stolen from my room?"
"Wrong. It's completely different."
"Funny. Because it looks just like the one I stole from mum when I was your age."
-
"Good. But you'll need to learn more than just the Harper forms."
"Is that why they threw you out? Because you didn't like their forms?"
"They didn't throw me out. I left. There was just⊠more to be learned elsewhere."
"Like the Flaming Fist?"
"No, now they threw me out."
-
"When can I move on to a real sword?"
"Oh, stop sulking. I had to teach myself in secret when I started. Mum didn't want to 'force me into the same life'."
"When did she change her mind?"
"About the third time I knocked her on her arse."
-
Rion and Tate
"Hey. You alright up here?"
"Yeah. I'll come down soon. Sorry."
"Don't need you to be sorry. Just checking that you're all right."
-
"You going to eat with us today?"
"I'm not⊠I'm not hungry. Really."
"Ah. Well, I could use a hand with the washing up - last time I let Fig do it, she blunted my best knife slaying 'soap-mephits'."
"Heh. All right."
-
"Would you like a book? I can have Jhessem drop one up. Maybe she'll even read it with you."
"Jhess� Eh, no. That's all right. I'm all right."
"What if I tell her not to do the goblin voice?"
"I guess⊠that would be okay."
-
"You don't need to watch the door, you know. No one's getting in that we don't want to."
"They don't need to get past the door. They could just b-board it up and burn the place."
"True, I suppose. But you have something out there that you didn't, in your last house."
"âŠFig."
"Fig."
Jord and Jhessem
"Bootprints on the tabletop. You haven't been poking around the top shelves again - have you, Jhessem?"
"Of course not. Her diaries are off-limits."
"And written in code too, I'm afraid."
"I know. It's not a very good code."
-
"Well, what are we reading now? More Alaundo?"
"No. I'm looking for any histories about this Absolute."
"I wouldn't bother. It's a new god - unknowable and mysterious."
"It's just another cult. And cults are common as muck."
"Huh. So sayeth the wise Jhessem."
-
"Try that hand-bill on fungal poultices. We might be tending the injured here before long."
"Perhaps you should brush up on the herb-lore yourself, Jord. Mother's vines are looking a little weedy."
"Why are the quiet ones always the cruellest?"
-
"That reminds me. I'm working on our family tree - I've already placed Rion. You're next."
"Hah. Well, I'm afraid you won't find us dangling from any of the same branches, sproutling."
"So we'll graft on another. A druid should know how to do that, shouldn't he?"
"I⊠suppose he should, at that."
Jord to plants
"You three have been just guzzling the water recently. Save some for the others, all right?"
"Coming along nicely there, Floki. Good, strong roots."
"Those leaves are a little darker than I'd like, Felicis. Bad soil? Hm. Don't tell motherâŠ"
"Oh, come on, Ferdinand, I just trimmed you."
-
Rion and Jord are definitely trying their best to be big siblings! Rion is very gentle with Tate (who, from that last dialogue, seems to have experienced some trauma before being adopted by Jaheira - there's a letter that suggests his biological parents were amongst the first taken by the cult), Jhessem is a character, Jord and his plants are adorable, and Rion and Fig are very much cut from the same cloth.
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I DIDN'T NOTICE YOU RB'D THE DEATH NOTE ASK MEME uhhh. 23 and 24 maybe?
ooooh thanks!!!
23. what was your favorite moment and why?
"oooh that's a very hard question" ...is what I might've said, if this wasn't the light yagami animanga series and light yagami makes me insane. uhhh. I do have several though, if that's allowed.
(update: when I said "several" I meant uh. a lot apparently. whoops)
favourite line / favourite moment in a "holy wow this is amazing thematically": the. y'know. "Tell me, Light, from the moment you were born, have you ever told the truth?" line in the anime rain scene. yeah. holy fuck that is amazing because I LOVE that sort of thing. as far as character traits go, there's like nothing I love more than characters that are liars who lie lyingly (multiple types of this apply). it's truly, truly the best.
favourite moments based on what I repeatedly rewatched immediately following my first watch of the anime: there are, uh. three (in no particular order)
light goes home from the entrance ceremony, incredibly stone-faced (like đ) the entire way -> gets home, gets up the stairs, opens the door, shuts the door, sits down on his chair, suddenly starts shaking -> blows up "Dammit! He got me! Damn L! I have never been so humiliated in my life!" (even Ryuk comments internally that he's never seen him lose his composure so much) -> suddenly laughs and calms down talking about how it's a battle of wits now and he'll make L trust him and kill him, with his own hands if necessary. i rewatched this several times in a row which was definitely very normal of me.
look at him. grumpy but in like an extremely restrained way (his face is even hidden). until it breaks completely in the next page lol
the last episode. light trying so hard not to laugh/smirk in the warehouse, then he reveals himself as kira (a lot of laughing), and he loses and falls pathetically, shouting for kiyomi and mikami and misa after matsuda shoots him, and then runs in the beautiful sunset, passing his younger high school self by, and seeing a vision of L before he dies on the stairs. all this is great and i did an immediate rewatch of this episode after finishing it
the Relight scene where Light laughs on top of L's grave soil. it's conceptually fucked up in an amazing way that really really appeals to me. murder and grave desecration are really romantic/beautiful/erotic on principle.
as you can see I am very normal. as you can see I am a very normal Light Yagami fan. one of those two statements may be unironically true, but the two statements inherently cannot go together. anyway this particular selection of scenes totally doesn't actually say anything about me right but anyway I'm right those are totally the best please torture light some more everyone
favourite moments I didn't immediately repeatedly rewatch/reread like that but are still my absolute top favourites:
The entire first episode because DAMN did it hook me completely very, very fast. I did NOT know there was going to be Faustian contract + god complex&general big ego + everything else in one in this little and very infamous character known as "Light Yagami". my expectations were blown instantly and I got obsessed with DN right away
L and Light declaring war on each other over the live broadcast and L asking and taunting Light/Kira to kill him. amazing. it was really... gay. sorry I can't think of a better word lmfao
L's death scene oh my god. GOD I loved (and was really really amazed/impressed by by) Light rushing to him at once and basically lying on top of him for a second, so that he will die in his arms. GOD. it is SO. like yeah this is literally my favourite sort of thing holy shit it is amazing (it's to gloat to him and to declare victory before his death, and it's to pretend to the Task Force too, and yet it seemed like such an instinctual reaction really that I think his first instinct really IS to hold him in his arms before he dies. this is really good). and the dramatic performance afterwards. I love it
on a COMPLETELY different note. JESUS CHRIST I love Soichiro's death scene actually. because holy fuck the multi-layered irony. I really love it. actually I think I wrote about that scene long before I even really wrote anything else about DN. alright here:
idk if I still 100% agree with my initial impression but it should still overall hold and MAN. I definitely loved it (<- fan of irony) (<- extremely, extremely normal Light Yagami fan) (<- fan of Soichiro also, to a lesser extent)
favourite moment that gave me a lot of thoughts when I'm reading the manga: (even though I already first watched the anime and this stuff is also in the anime)
the moment where Rem is like "okay I will kill L" and Light, person who has been plotting this exact murder for ages, is like. Oh shit. he'll die...? which is. man. Light sure is Light
like look at his face here!
favourite manga-exclusive moments:
Light not considering killing Sayu. Light asking Soichiro to promise him to come back alive with Sayu. that scene afterwards where Soichiro is at home thinking he should die. (at least I think those weren't in the anime?)
the manga ending is also good
I like that the manga tells us he lost weight and has nightmares due to using the death note. (it possibly has happened to anime light too but we don't get to see it)
not a "favorite moment" exactly, but while the scene is beautiful I don't like Misa dying in the end despite how much I adore everything else in that episode, so I like that Misa doesn't canonically die like that in the manga
favourite anime-exclusive moments:
rain scene and footwashing scene yes obviously
everything about Light being "haunted" after L's death. aside from the aforementioned Light dying scene, I really like the anime
I love the anime ending too
also hmm this might be a less popular opinion, but personally I also love some of anime Light's characterization tidbits that differs from the manga (e.g. first episode). I would say it's because it's maybe very slightly more relatable for me but that probably sounds wack lmao so
favourite moments based on how comedic I find them: (not including ones I already included in other sections) DN is such an amazing comedy I'm not even kidding
the whole handcuffs thing oh my god. homophobic misa moment. I didn't think she'd actually call him gay, but there it was. also just fken. buddy. L??????? why and how and in what world was there an absolute need for this totally normal, totally appropriate, absolutely most safe and most ideal method of interrogating criminals. I was laughing because god. that's not even. yeah okay I'm happy with it but LMFAO YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS. and Light just easily went along with it
the... the... first date scene. I was like oh my god c'MON you two. I didn't think something like this would be so like this in the actual canon manga. first date where Misa is being thirdwheeled while Light and L sit together chained together and then they focus all energy on talking to each other and then they get into a fist fight (date activity) all over the room. combined with the later dunking on matsuda. this is LITERALLY how a fucking sitcom goes at this point.
the anime's footwashing also. not the scene itself necessarily but just the fact that it fucking exists between lawlight and is. Like THAT????? lmfao like what the hell
ALSO the. fken. Matsuda fake death scene lmfao it was so wack in retrospect
live Ryuk reactions + "hey Light can we play Mario Golf? can we play Mario Golf Light? come on let's play a match of Mario Golf"
man I can't even include all of it here because Light Yagami is so entertaining to me in 85%+ of all the scenes she appears in in one way or another like his existence itself is peak entertainment to me. it's entertaining when Light is humiliated and it's entertaining when he's succeeding. and like I mean, he's the protagonist of the whole manga / show, and I mean I can't list every moment in the series can I. lmao
favourite moments that don't have light yagami in it: I'm sorry everyone else but I am especially obsessed with light. as you can see. however I love many other characters too
Kiyomisa dinner kiyomisa fighting !!!
(technically this includes light but) matsuda shooting light
misa being unexpectedly smart (compared to her wider reputation) (the higuchi car scene! and others) is also nice
idk if it makes sense but. the scene where Rem and Misa mention the way a Shinigami can die, and Misa admits to thinking about killing Rem like it's. just very Neat. I like the vibes here and Misa is very beautiful (related to the dialogue about love and killing. yeah)
also!! I love the meronia moments
and then I recently got myself into soichello so actually yeah. the soichiro mello scenes too. very good
24. any headcanons you want to share?
uhhhhhhhhhhh hmmm. man what's a headcanon I haven't properly shared on tumblr before, and also isn't like a take that is shared and often discussed by tons of people around here already?
... fine okay let's do this finally.
neurodivergence + mental illnesses headcanons
[disclaimer: please read this post first. if you disagree, you can skip over this and skip to the next section!]
aside from OCD and autism, imo Light has NPD with some ASPD traits, and also bipolar. this is because the way his mental illnesses are is like. I feel represented lol. (not as in I have every one of those things I listed, but I probably have some/most of them, and the combinations are interesting). even though this is unfortunately Light Yagami. but I really like him for that too tbh because man. I don't get to see that stuff often. (like idk how to explain it. even though I'd never even remotely pull that kinda stuff because of differences in personalities, values, background, abilities, and manifestation and degree of symptoms, etc. however some of his mannerisms sometimes feel right on point e.g. I feel like the way he is like sometimes gives me depression + hypomanic/manic vibes, in a way where I can see myself in him if it makes sense lmao)
on that note Misa 100% very BPD I agree. I wanna say on top of autism, L also seems to have some ASPD traits imo. Near is autistic but I think that goes without saying lol. Mello has like... C-PTSD and/or NPD. and then this probably not a very unexpected take, but Matsuda has ADHD or audhd vibes. OH and! Soichiro also very much has OCD and autism, imo.
other headcanons:
not a hot take, but Mello and Near are both nonbinary and/or genderqueer (and/or otherwise trans, if not applicable) to me (could be transmasc or transfem, not necessarily transneutral; I could see either or any direction among those, although I would say I lean toward seeing Near as transfem and/or nonbinary, and Mello as transmasc and/or genderqueer).
Light is demi, and has had a covert superiority complex about not feeling attraction unlike his peers (like. you can view him deciding to use porn mag reading to prove himself as a normal teenage boy as indicative of his subconscious? mental association of his more "normal" peers as, like.... unfortunate horny perverts. in a way. if that makes sense) I know how it feels because I was kinda like this in grade 6-8
man I definitely have other ideas too but I'm drawing a blank at the moment partly because it's late and I still haven't eaten lunch lmao. I will continue to post my thoughts and headcanons in the future, so tune in by clicking on the subscribe butto- *gets shot*
ask game
#thanks for the ask!!!#death note#light yagami#lawlight#misa amane#l lawliet#soichiro yagami#ryuk#rem#touta matsuda#asks#i (ai)#ask games#.....you may notice that I did not really answer question 23. as I provided like 23 favourite moments instead of one. whoops
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Ok so like am I fake for this? So one of my friends likes the sturniolos, and I was like âOh my god! ME TOO!â And she was like âChris is my fav!â And obviously I said âoh my god me too!â But then she said, âI donât like nick.. heâs to gay for meâŠâ LIKE IM SORRY! And I kinda cussed her out and said â That man is funny ash and so fucking cuteyyyyy. Like Iâm sorry your homo but I personally like him a lotâ
She has opened up to me about being homo and not liking Gays (No hate I love everyone!, I did not yell at her and I didnât say what I wrote exactly I said something like that but I said her name and Iâm not exposing her)
She isnât a long term fan, sheâs relatively new to the fandom
she isnât really my best friend we just talk because weâre the only girls in our AP class
Shes perfectly fine with me talking about how she doesnât like the gays, as long as Iâm not rude about it
She didnât take it as hate she laughed it off and me too!
So please just let me know if you would have taken that as fake bc Iâm like rly sorry, and like regretting it rnđȘ
#nick sturniolo#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#fan fiction#fan fic#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo smut#matt sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets#christopher sturniolo
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Oh!! Btw! I'm a drag artist and I'm doing a drag cosplay of starscream for pride and tfnation 2023 and sometimes when I question if the look is too fem or cutesy shaped, I think about your starscream and I remind myself that I'm serving cunt actually. Thank you for your service
hi!! I absolutely love both of the asks you sent but I hope you donât mind me responding to this one with a little bit of personal musingâspecifically about Starscream and femininity, lol. (long post warning!!)
I cannot stress enough how generally positive and supportive reception to my changes has been, especially in the case of Starscreamâthat being said, I do think about the occasional pushback I get every so often, and how it feeds into why I make the choices I do
starscream has always been a feminine character, which I think is part of why a lot of people are drawn to it in the first placeâeven talking to older fans, who grew up with the original show, there seems to be this implicit understanding that Starscream is something âotherâ (âpretty poisonâ as a beta name should tell you quite a bit). this is something that has remained relatively consistent in the entirety of transformersâalbeit in, Iâd argue, the worst way possible.
there are a lot of character decisions I dislike on a thematic level that vary across continuity, but one extremely reliable element of any Starscream is the way femininity defines their villainy. youâre never supposed to like the âfeminineâ traits. theyâre played for jokes and comically exaggerated at best; at worst, any and all Starscream redemption arcs are completely dependent on grappling with emasculation, and shedding the feminine. Even in continuities where other characters (a whole other ballpark) are murderous, abusive, and violent, Starscream is canonically regarded as morally lesser, specifically because their villainy manifests in the feminine. masculine, âactiveâ displays of malice are more noble and admirable than the âpassiveâ and âfeminineâ act of quiet scheming and deception.
Iâm not saying that Starscream doesnât do bad things, obviously, but this is such a constant theme that it has thoroughly leeched its way into fan spaces as well. Iâm not really active in fan communities anymore, but I will always feel frustrated with how the characterâs femininity is simultaneously misunderstood and exploited, because that is the natural reaction to femininity. it is inoffensive and clean and neat, and it fits into one of very few digestible archetypes, because it is not perceived as a natural form of expression, but an other. it is only allowed when it is attractive and easy to understand.
this is something that extends to women, as, obviously, in a performative binary womanhood is a shorthand for femininity. âwomanâ is an other, and feminine women exist in palatable, digestible archetypes. even with all the progress we have made it is really not common to see women or feminine characters in general treated with equal respect or interest, and, the more you pay attention, the more youâll notice a total apathy for their feelings, struggles, and complexity.
I know this is all really dense, but I bring that all up to say that there is a reason I want to spotlight and elaborate on Starscreamâs femininity. itâs a trait that is inherent to the character, but Iâd argue that there hasnât ever really been a moment where that femininity ever manifests as something positive. itâs a derogatory label, but never something the character owns.
I want to see a Starscream that is confidently feminine and âcutesyâ because the character has never been afforded that luxury! moreover, I want to portray a fully femme Starscream because there is no reason that should change the characterâs complexity or their queer association! (I once saw the argument that making Starscream a girl would be âerasing the characterâs queer historyâ and that kind of sums up the casual effect of misogyny in these weird online spaces, lol. granted that doesnât mean you canât project or imagine any gender identity you want for the characterâI think thatâs very good, actually!!) even though I have never personally been a feminine person, Iâve always been really attached to Starscreamâs femininity and the idea of a femme-presenting version because there was a sorely lacking character type I desperately wanted to seeâa messy, bitter, and by all means âevilâ person who was also feminine, without those things being linked via cause and effect. I hope that makes sense?? essentially, a very feminine girl whose femininity wasnât the implicit or explicit cause of their moral failings, and was instead treated as. yknow, a neutral mode of expression
anyway, I am very sorry for saying so many words about something pretty trivial here. if you couldnât tell transformers was the thing that first got me thinking about gender and themes and media critique as a child, so i have feelings like this, lol. none of the problems I listed here are ultimately all that serious and they certainly arenât exclusive to the robots, but itâs something I really wanted to talk about!
TL;DR: Starscreamâs gender is what you make of it and i think you shouldnt stop yourself because it is accurate to the character, actually! I hope that I can encourage people to think outside the box of what rigidly exists in writing and expand their horizons to what the art is trying to say, and how your experience is important :)
sorry again for the long post jeez!!
#transformers#ask#starscream#text post#text#long post#long#i am so sorry for talking at you oh my god
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