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augustjoy · 3 months ago

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I’m Sorry…What?

Based on the following ask: Established relationship but it’s secret from the team. The team think they don’t like each other but in truth they are deeply in love with each other but the team don’t let them always be alone together out of worry so there have been a few close calls where they almost get caught until reader and Aaron room together and finally talk about maybe telling the team only the way they tell them is threw wedding invites and that’s shocks the team and they all have questions to which reader and Aaron only smile thinking how funny it is that a team of profilers never found them out. Love this idea! In this, Derek kind of looks out for the reader – very “big brother” behavior from him in this.

Aaron Hotchner x Fiance BAU! Fem Reader

Fluff

Word count: 1617

Not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, some explicit language, meddling profilers, canon typical violence, mention of stabbing and hospitals, mention of wedding related activities, let me know if I missed anything!

I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

You stood from your desk, just about to head up to Hotch’s office with a file when Emily stopped you. Her hand resting on your forearm gently, her eyes meeting your own.

“I have to go drop this file off, let me take yours.”

“Oh, Emily it’s okay. I can take them.” You moved to grab her file.

“Girl, it’s okay…I know how hard he is on you.” Emily stood, patted your shoulder and took the files to Hotch’s office.

Things had been like this pretty much since the moment you’d joined the BAU. For whatever reason, everyone on the team had just assumed that you and Hotch hated each other…that you two couldn’t even be in the same room as one another without fighting. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.

See, what the team didn’t know was that Aaron and you were engaged. The two of you were dating even before you had joined the BAU. You had been working with a different team within the FBI, having a background in behavior analysis…moving to the BAU when a spot opened up, that just made sense.

Aaron and you had agreed to keep things strictly professional at work to avoid any discomfort within the workplace. Apparently that choice was now biting you in the ass.

Working with profilers, you’d think the secret of your relationship would have come out a long time ago, that being said, doesn’t mean there haven’t been some close calls.

This had started early on in you career with the BAU. Aaron had avoided pairing the two of you together, simply to avoid any suspicion of your relationship. The team, however, took this as him not warming up to your presence on the team.

Then it was him “benching” you. Aaron for a period of time had kept you in the local precincts on cases, you knew this was because he was worried about you getting hurt, but the team saw this as him questioning your abilities. They all reassured you that you were an asset to the team, more than capable in the field. Morgan had gone as far as confronting Aaron about the way he was mistreating you.

What really sealed this theory in your teammate’s heads was the way Aaron and you sparred. During debriefings the two of you would go back and forth through numerous theories, jabbing at one another for how “ridiculous” the other one was being. While to the team this looked argumentative…it really was how the two of you were, always pushing one another, wanting them to be the best they can be. Unafraid to challenge one another.

Everything was different after that. The team worked overtime to keep things light when the two of you were around one another. They would step into conversations, inserting themselves when it wasn’t necessary. They would jump in and offer to pair with one of you, so you’d never be stuck one-on-one.

At first you found it kind of funny, laughing internally at their crazy antics, but now that you were engaged, it was getting increasingly annoying. You’d just wanted some alone time with your fiancé and they were making it impossible.

You had gone to get a fresh cup of coffee to help you get through the remainder of your paperwork. Upon entering the kitchenette, you came face to face with your fiancé.

“Hey sweetheart.” He quietly greeted.

“Hi hon.” You smiled.

Aaron passed you a cup of coffee before moving to fill a second one for himself. He’d been this way since the beginning, always putting you first no matter what. You offered him thanks and stood with him for a moment, enjoying the proximity.

“I got a call earlier from the florist, she sent over the invoice. I also sent the deposit to the caterer this morning.” You informed.

“For the flowers, peonies right? Did you decide on pink or whi-”

“Everything okay in here?” Morgan bounded into the kitchenette. “You guys look tense…please tell me you weren’t fighting again.”

“Nope, everything is good! I was just heading back to my desk.” You said before making your exit.

The next slip up was while away on a case. You had been with Derek interviewing someone that happened to be the unsub, only you hadn’t been aware of that going in.

He had pulled a knife and moved quickly, leaving you with a nasty stab to the gut. You were lucky that it hadn’t hit anything major. You’d waved Derek off, telling him to go after the unsub.

After apprehending the guy, Derek made his way back to you to check in and make sure you were okay. He had called the team and for a medic, not leaving your side.

When Aaron showed up he was livid. The team took that as anger for your “mistake”, not realizing that his anger was directed toward himself – he was beating himself up for having sent you in there, putting you in this situation.

He rode with you in the ambulance to the hospital…giving the rest of the team time to talk about how he was probably reprimanding you. But once again, it couldn’t have been further from the truth. He had held you hand and reassured you the whole way to the hospital.

The team met him there and waited by his side as you were tended to. And when the doctor came out and called your name, asking for family, Aaron didn’t hesitate to rise to his feet, barely catching himself and mentally correcting fiancé to boss.

After that, the team did everything they could to keep the two of you separated or at least had someone with you to act as a buffer. It was becoming exhausting – you’d been trying to give Aaron an update about some stuff for the wedding and you just couldn’t get the chance.

The two of you would end up rapidly firing through topics once you arrived home for the evening, trying to catch one another up on wedding tasks, work tasks, and just everyday things.

“Aaron…have you thought about how much easier things would be if we just told the team about us?”

“Yes I have. Why do you ask?” He admitted.

“Just, well…they’ve been annoying lately.” You huffed. “I don’t mean to sound rude, you know I love them. But they just won’t quit, I can’t get even a second alone with you at work and it is getting ridiculous.”

“You’re right. When you were in the hospital last month, I almost let it slip in front of them. If it’s what you want, let’s tell them.” Aaron agreed.

And thus began your planning of how you’d tell the most oblivious group of profilers that the two of you didn’t hate each other but were actually engaged to be married.

It took about a week and a half before you could officially tell the team your little secret. You had been waiting for your invitations to come in so you could hand deliver a few to your team…it would be the perfect announcement.

“Round table in five.” Aaron called out into the bullpen.

“Shit…he seems pissed.” Emily hissed.

You couldn’t help but giggle, knowing full well he was anything but pissed. Emily and you went and collected everyone, bringing them to the round table. There were hushed whispers about what this could be about, and when Penelope mentioned there wasn’t a new case, you could feel the anxiety filling the room.

Aaron made his way in, his hands holding a neat stack of pale pink envelopes. You couldn’t help but notice the way he commanded a room, his mere presence demanding the attention of those around him. This is what had initially drawn you to him all those years ago.

“I have something for each of you. I’d like you to wait to open them until everyone has one.” Aaron announced.

He passed them out one by one, the room remaining silent the entire time. It didn’t take long for everyone to notice that you were the only one who didn’t receive an envelope.

“Hotch man, if this is some kind of sick power move then I swear I will-” Derek began.

“Please, open them.” You spoke before standing up and making your way to Aaron’s side.

Confusion painted its way across everyone’s faces. Hands working quickly to open the envelopes they’d been handed. You were shaking with anticipation, and you couldn’t help the little smirk that made its way to your lips when the confusion was quickly replaced with shock.

“I’m sorry…what?” Penelope asked.

“What the hell is this?” Derek questioned.

Everyone began talking at once, talking about whether or not this was a joke. Asking if one another knew, and how long this had been going on.

“Guys!” You called. “Aaron and I have been together for a few years, well before I started with the BAU. We got engaged about seven months ago…and well, we’d love it if you all would be there for us.” You smiled.

“I KNEW IT!” Rossi laughed. “I told you all from the beginning that they didn’t hate one another, they love each other, and you all swore that they hated each other.”

Four months later, the BAU team stood by your sides as you said your vows and committed yourselves to one another.

And while the team dynamic shifted slightly with them knowing the two of you are together, and with there being two Agent Hotchners now, the one thing that didn’t change was that this team was family and you all were there for one another no matter what.

Taglist: @bernelflo@pastelpinkflowerlife@just-moondust

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miley1442111 · 9 months ago

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birthday break-a.hotchner

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summary: aaron almost misses your birthday

pairing: aaron hotchner x fiancé! fem! reader

warnings: angst, fluff, angsty for a moment (I think that's it?)

not entirely proofread

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To say you were a little bit pissed off was an understatement. It was your birthday, the one day a year anything ever got to be about you, and your fiance was missing it, with less than a day’s notice.

You sat at the kitchen table with Jack, a solemn look on your face as you poured out his cereal. Today was going to be like any other day, nothing special, nothing new. You loved your job, but being a technical analyst for the BAU meant seeing awful things every single day, and shockingly, you weren’t really in the mood.

“You ready?” Jack asked, pulling you out of your thoughts. He was waiting by the door, waiting to be dropped to school.

“Ready,” you nodded.

Aaron was away with the rest of the team on a case in Boston. You were stuck, alone, in Quantico, with absolutely no end of this case in sight.

You walked into the building with a frown, just wanting the day to be over already. You didn't want the pity 'happy birthday’ wishes from everyone else, when all you wanted was one from Aaron. He hadn’t texted you yet, you hadn’t called, and you were almost sure he’d forgotten, or didn’t see it as an important thing. He gets like that sometimes, one-tracked.

“Birthday girl!” Penelope smiled, running up to you with a pink cupcake and a lit candle on top. “Blow out the candle!”

Your frown melted into a soft laughter and you blew out the candle, grateful for her and all her eccentricities. “Thank you Pen,” you smiled. “You’re the best.”

She smiled brighter. “I have to pull out all the stops for my favourite co-worker, don’t I?”

“I thought I was your favourite?” Aaron’s voice came from behind you, and you whipped around. There he stood, a smirk on his lips and his arms open for you.

“Aaron?!” You cheered, running up and hugging him. It felt right, being in his arms again.

He pressed his lips to yours in a soft kiss. “Happy birthday baby,” he smiled.

“Thank you,” you whispered. “I love you.”

“I love you more.”

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criminal minds masterlist :)

navigation for my blog :) (criminal minds, obx, the bear, marvel, top gun, the hunger games :)

#criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #bau team #criminal minds x reader #aaron hotchner x reader #criminal minds fandom #aaron hotchner #criminal minds fic #aaron hotchner fluff #thomas gibson x reader #thomas gibson #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotch fanfiction

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venusbyline · 7 months ago

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Taste ࿐ྂ Kinktober. 03, oct.

— pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fiancée!reader

— type: smut, Kinktober (Criminal Minds Edition)

— kink: lactation

— summary: Hotch never felt horny seeing a woman breastfeeding. Until he watched his fiancée doing it.

— word count: 2.9k

— tags/warnings: kinktober 3rd day, female!reader, fiance!Hotch, lactation kink, breastfeeding, breast worship, fingering, light overstimulation, mention of Haley's death, Jack has a little sister, canon divergence. no use of y/n. english is not my first language.

— tagging list: @thatredlipped-classic @magnoliatrees-world @ehedrick012110 @hotchsmutrecs @slutcakes00 @emma-e-a

— crossposting: AO3

Hotch swore to himself that he wouldn't get involved with anyone else after Haley's death. He promised for Jack's sake and his ex-wife's memory, he would try his best to stay away from any woman who could mean more to him than just a few nights of sex or random drinks at a bar. He swore he wouldn't love anyone again, much less allow himself to remarry.

That's until you came into his life.

The damn day he saw you at the hospital after one of his teammates was grazed by a bullet. You were working your shift as a nurse and seemed almost shocked by the number of BAU agents in just one room. But your eyes didn't take long to focus on him. Eye contact only lasted a few seconds until Reid interrupted the magical moment by asking you about the coffee machine not working properly.

Hotch looked straight into your eyes long enough to realize he was fucked up and all his promises were going to go down the drain.

It didn't take long until the simple memory to invade Hotch's mind frequently and he was convinced to find out more about you, profiling you. Prentiss and Reid said he was starting to obsess, JJ thought it was cute, and Garcia and Morgan made fun of him like he was womanizer. Deep down, everyone was also excited but wary by the idea of Hotch being interested in another woman after Haley's murder. This could be good for him and also traumatize him even more.

When Hotch started visiting a pub that you and your co-workers went to often after work, he tried to maintain an indifferent attitude every time he saw you, trying to convince himself that you two would just flirt and maybe fuck. Nothing more than that, something random and insignificant.

However, during a day when he was reflecting on his life, sitting at one of the empty tables and drinking whiskey, Hotch was surprised to see you sit down with him, without even being invited. A sweet smile on your face as you began to strike up a conversation, even though he was clearly perplexed by the fact that you had already noticed his interest in you — no matter how obvious it was to anyone who saw him always watching you.

Two years later, Hotch still had difficulty admitting how much he loved you, feeling like it could be a weakness to him and a danger to Jack, you and his new child. The baby named after the protagonist of The Silence of the Lambs.

"Jack told me that Clarice was crying a lot today..." He said as soon as he came your room after putting Jack to bed, admiring you sitting on the double bed with some pillows behind your back, cradling the little thing in your hands while you breastfed her at the same time.

"Oh, it was just colic." You gave him a soft smile. "But she's better for now. Jack's such a good big brother to Clarice, he helps me a lot to take care of her."

Hotch smiled slightly, knowing how much his oldest son was enjoying having a little sister. Jack was such a sweet boy that sometimes he found himself wondering if he really deserved to be his father.

Jack was an incredible son with an incredible mother. And now Hotch also had an amazing little daughter and an amazing fiancée. With each passing day, insecurities and fears hit his mind hard to the point that he even became lost in thoughts during his own work at the BAU. "What's wrong, Hotch?"

Your question caught him off guard and he clenched his jaw. You could still read him as well as the first time you spoke to him in the pub. "Nothing's wrong."

You rolled your eyes, cradling Clarice a little more slowly now that she seemed to be starting to sleep. "Oh, please. I know you very well at that. It's pretty clear from your frown that you're worried about something." You teased him and it was his turn to roll his eyes. "Just tell me. Keeping everything to yourself will make you explode someday."

Hotch huffed, always hating the idea of opening himself up to anyone, even if you were his fiancée. On the one hand, he wanted to keep you in the dark about the vulnerability he was trying to hide, protecting himself from any judgment or see a look of pity on your face. But on the other hand, he just wanted to not pretend to be strong and invincible for at least a few minutes.

"I'm just thinking about some things, that's all..." He swallowed, the trembling voice exposing him more than his words.

You frowned, caressing Clarice's thinning hair before looking at Hotch. "Well... I'd like you to tell me at least one of them."

Hotch snorted again, but the attempt at indifference failed miserably when he looked at Clarice, still feeding on your breast. "She's looking more like you every day." He smiled, articulating his right index finger so he could caress her chubby cheek with his middle knuckles.

You smiled at Hotch, before raising an eyebrow when you noticed his gaze straying to your breast for a considerably long time. "That's very disrespectful, you know? I can't even breastfeed my own baby without you being a pervert?"

His eyes widened, immediately stopping and looking at you embarrassed to explain, sighing with a little frustration when he noticed that you were just playing with him. "Damn, angel..." He rubbed his face to hide his frightened expression, but also to distract himself from that unusual thoughts. "For a second I thought you were angry."

You laughed softly, shaking your head. "Why would I be angry seeing my fiance horny?"

Your teasing made his face turn red and his cock started to feel tight in his work pants. "I'm not...I'm not horny. This is ridiculous. You're just breastfeeding."

His effort to look uninterested by the sight made you laugh again, as you looked at him with your eyebrow still raised. After a few seconds, you checked if the baby was already sleeping enough so you could burp her and go put her in the crib. Then you fixed your nursing bra and turned to Hotch with a playful smirk. "I'll be back in ten minutes."

Your words weren't a random joke, much less a common warning. You were flirting with him, teasing him, warning him that the matter wasn't over and you would come back to learn more about that curiosity that was burning his brain. He watched you leave with Clarice in your arms and go to her room.

Hotch sat down on the bed, the tie starting to tighten around his neck just as his cock was already hurting from being trapped in those damn underwear. He untied the bow with a little more agony than usual, taking a deep breath as he threw the fabric anywhere on the floor. He wasn't worried about organization for now, focused on trying to understand why he was suddenly so turned on.

Okay... He had seen your breast, something he clearly loved to admire at any time possible. But he never got horny seeing you breastfeeding his daughter. Just as he never got horny when Haley was breastfeeding Jack too. In truth, Hotch had never thought of breastfeeding as something rousing and erotic to watch.

Until those few minutes before.

"There... She's sleeping like a little angel." Hotch almost jumped at the sound of your sweet voice returning to the room, locking the door behind you.

Hotch cleared his throat, pretending not to know exactly why you locked the door. It was a rule not to lock the door at night for the children's safety in case something horrible happened. You only did this when both of you wanted a moment alone. "Well, it took you less than ten minutes."

You shrugged nonchalantly. "She went back to sleep quickly."

He nodded silently, placing his hand in his own lap so you wouldn't see his boner growing more and more, even though he knew you had already noticed it since you returned to the room.

"Lactation kink is more common than it seems." You said and Hotch almost choked due your blunt way.

"What? Where did you get that from? I don't... I don't have a lactation kink. That doesn't even make sense." He exclaimed, his frowning face turning red for a second time as he tried to press down on his boner to hide yet another twinge he felt.

You held back your chuckle, but not for long. The moment you sat on the bed next to him and watched how the grumpy man was struggling to hide his desire, you let out a brief giggle, but it was enough to hurt his ego. "That's not funny."

Despite everything, you nodded, not wanting to upset him further. The realization that perhaps this was the first time he could be feeling that specific kind of desire hit you hard, and you felt a mixture of pride with yourself, but also a huge excitement that you hadn't felt since the pregnancy.

"I know, baby..." You reassured him, smiling slightly at him now. "But you don't need to hide from me either. We agree not to keep secrets from each other."

Your sentence had more than one meaning and Hotch knew it. He shouldn't lie to you, either about his own fears or about what he was wanting at that moment.

Hotch took a deep breath, deciding to start slowly. "Maybe... Maybe I'm horny."

"Seeing me breastfeeding?" You asked to be sure, but without any hint of judgment.

He nodded, clenching his jaw as he looked away, before holding his breath when he felt your hand caressing his thigh through his dress pants. "Hey... Look at me, Aaron."

Almost a minute passed before he worked up enough courage to look into your eyes. He felt pathetic inside. How could he deal with criminals every day, but not be able to receive a touch on his thigh from you without feeling like a stupid teenage virgin?

"Do you wanna... Taste it?" Your suggestion made his dark eyes widen as if you were saying the most unexpected thing he'd ever heard. "I'm serious, Aaron."

"Taste your milk?" He frowned. However, you knew he wasn't offended, but rather embarrassed with himself for even considering that. Everything was driving him crazy... the memory of you breastfeeding, his vivid imagination, your hand remaining caressing his thigh. Aaron felt like he was going to explode. "Hmm... Maybe."

You smiled when he gave in a little, knowing that his lust was speaking louder than any self-loathing he was feeling. Without waiting for him to think better and maybe change his mind, you adjusted your body on the bed, leaning your back against the headboard, while your legs were stretched out and comfortable. You smirked, pointing to the other pillow, indicating to him to get comfortable too.

Your command made his cock throb. As he obeyed, lying down in place, he felt a sigh of pleasure escape when he realized how much closer your bust was to his face in that position.

"It's a good view..." He muttered, fighting his pride.

You bit your bottom lip. "Oh, really?" You took your hands to your bra, removing it completely and watching Hotch's breathing hitch. "And now?"

"Angel... You're such a tease." He watched your breast for a few minutes, feeling his mouth water with the uncontrollable need to taste you like that. He moved his large hand to one of your mounds, biting his lip as he gently squeezed the soft flesh, barely holding back the groan that escaped by a strangled way when some milk splashed on his shirt "Fuck..."

You couldn't help but whine too. The feeling of his slender fingers groping your breast had been great, but it was the hunger in his eyes when your breast milk splashed out that made you start to feel desperate. "A-Aaron... I want you. I want your mouth."

"Oh, do you want my mouth, angel?" He scoffed, going back to caressing your breast, but now with one hand on each one. "And where do you want my mouth? Here?" Hotch questioned teasingly and leaned in, brushing his lips against the skin of your neck, feeling you shudder when he licked it and grazed his teeth afterwards.

He waited for your answer, but you just shook your head. It was good, of course. However, it was far from what you really wanted.

"Oh, no?" He feigned surprise, looking into your eyes now desperate for more. Hotch then smirked and stood up enough for you to be face to face. He moistened his lips, noticing the way your gaze fell there immediately. "Here, maybe?" Hotch teased, capturing your mouth in a slow but intense kiss. He tasted your lips as if they were heaven, delighting with the pleasure of dipping his tongue into your mouth and feeling your tongue too.

Then you moved your face away, panting for air. "No. More..." You whispered, lips red and swollen from the kiss.

He laughed lightly. "More? You're so greedy, baby..." Hotch scoffed, thinking about stopping the teasing, but an idea popped into his head, lowering his face until he was close to your breasts again. One of his hands kept caressing one of them, his long fingers playing with your nipple wet with milk.

However, his right hand let go of your left breast, making you whimper with confusion. "Why did you stop? You're so fucking... Oh!" You moaned, your eyes widening when his fingers got into your panties. "H-Hotch..."

Your moans made Hotch smirked, as he rubbed your clit slowly, enjoying how wet your pussy already was. "Is this where you want my mouth, baby?" He said, rubbing a little slower to get some verbal reaction from you.

"Not yet... Not yet." You managed to whisper as he slowed down, afraid he would completely stop rubbing your needy bud.

Hotch scoffed. "Wow, my future wife's a spoiled and needy little whore...." He went back to interspersing the movements of the hand that pleasured your pussy with the hand that caressed your heavy breast. "How about here then?" He blew lightly on your left nipple that was without his attention. "What do you think, angel?"

You almost whimpered at that teasing. It was obvious what you wanted and it was obvious Hotch was desperate for it too. Meanwhile, Hotch liked to hear you ask him. Beg him.

"Y-yes, please..." You pouted sadly as he chuckle, finally bringing his mouth, licking the sensitive nipple and making you moan his name, his soft tongue tasting the light drops of milk that flowed through contact. "S-suck... Please, Aaron, I need you to suck my milk."

Hotch lifted his face to look at you, doing as you asked. His mouth closed carefully around your nipple, making a gentle sucking motion, his eyes widening as much as you did when a favorable amount of milk came on his tongue, making him swallow with surprise before keeping sucking.

You felt the movements of his hands faltering, his mind going into a frenzy as he heard you moaning desperately each time he sucked you like a hungry baby. Your entire body had been needy since giving birth, but your breasts... They had become a powerful and fragile little thing at the same time. They were always sensitive due to continuous breastfeeding. Hotch had never given you pleasure there since Clarice was born, too busy taking care of you two and Jack, in addition to always having his mind stuck on work. Besides, neither of you have had much time since then.

However, you knew it wasn't just because your breasts were sensitive or the fact that both of you had been deprived of sex for a while. It was the incredible feeling of having Hotch suckle on your milk, seeing him desperate for every drop.

When he closed his eyes to focus on sucking and enjoy the slightly sweet taste of breast milk even more, you began to tremble your orgasm getting closer. His fingers kept rubbing your clit while the other fingers played with your free nipple, but it was the sight of him with his eyes closed and sucking your milk that made you cum, moaning his name breathlessly and wetting his fingers with your release.

Hotch smirked as he noticed the real reason for your orgasm. He opened his eyes, nibbling on the tip of your breast and stopping fingering you so as not to prolong your overstimulation too much after you whimpered in slight discomfort when it all started to get too much. "That was more amazing than I imagined it would be." He murmured, tongue still busy licking you.

“Too amazing, actually…” You teased, moving his lips away from your nipple. "You better save some drops for Clarice."

He chuckled at your joke, feeling you run your hand over his chin, wiping away the drops of milk that had run down, gently licking your own fingers.

"Thanks for not judging me, angel."

The sweet words made you smile, and you stroked his hair tenderly. "I would never do that." Your gaze dropped to his boner, even bigger than before. "And I'll help you with that if you promise to tell me about what was plaguing your mind earlier."

Hotch rolled his eyes sarcastically, looking at you with a frown and a small smile on his face. "Okay... That's a sacrifice I'm willing to make then. But just this once."

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Venusbyline's Kinktober 2024 - Masterlist

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boldlyvoid · 1 year ago

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Little White Lies

18+ Aaron Hotchner x Fem Reader

Summary: Readers sister is having an Engagement/Christmas party this year and her cousin will be there. With her new fiance. Who is reader's ex. The only logical thing to do is to show up with her own new boyfriend... who isn't really her boyfriend. He's her boss.

Warnings: fake dating, mutual pining, idiots in love, flirting, teasing, there's only one bed, love confessions, getting together, oral sex (fem receiving), condom use, p in v smut, meeting readers family

Word Count: 5.3k

She sits in the corner of the jet, facing Aaron in the two-person seat near the entrance to the cockpit. She’s sat there with him on almost every trip for the past 3 years. He’s good company, not too talkative, he gets her drinks and he gives her little smiles every so often. It’s relaxing to sit with him… however, tonight, she’s not in a good mood and he can tell.

He looks at her all concerned and then looks around at the others to assure they’re all busy. “Are you alright?” He whispers. Keeping her business between them.

She shrugs, “My sister’s been texting me. Her engagement party is coming up and I promised I’d go but I just found out that my cousin and her fiancé are going to be there…”

“Do you not like her?”

She shakes her head, “it’s complicated.”

“I’m all ears?” He reminds her.

She sighs, “Her fiancé is my ex-boyfriend. She slept with him while we were still together… I was in the academy and he was apparently lonely all by himself and didn’t have the time to travel here to see me so he fell into her bed instead.”

“I’m so sorry,” Hotch says, concern all over his face and disbelief in his voice. “That’s awful, why would your sister invite her?”

“Because my parents are paying for it and all the family gets to go, no matter what,” she scoffs. “It’s to show off, nothing more.”

“You know…” he tilts his head to the side and his brows go up as he thinks, a pondering look on his face that’s quite amusing. “You could bring someone with you, someone to prove to him that you’ve moved on and you’re in a much better place now?” He suggests.

“Yeah, like who? Morgan?” She teases, laughing slightly.

“Or me?” He offers. His brows were still raised but the softest, most sincere look on his face. She’s never seen him look so… so affectionate. So careful. Unless he’s with Jack. This is his ‘I love you like family I’ll do whatever you need me to’ look.

“Yeah,” she gives in. “That would be nice… it’s December 22nd. Would you be able to take time away from Jack that close to Christmas?”

“Where is it?”

“they’re having it in New York, that’s where my sister lives now,” she explains. “I’m taking the train up the night before, I have a hotel room booked but I could stay with my sister and you could have the room for the night?”

“Could we switch to a double queen?” He suggests.

She shrugs, “I can call and find out?”

“Okay,” he nods. “Jack’s with Haley this Christmas, I see him boxing day till New Year's Day and then he goes back to her.”

“We’ll have to bring him home something,” she suggests. “We can even go a bit early or stay later if you want to go shopping a bit in the city?”

“He’s always said he wants M&M’s with his face on them,” he teases. “It’ll be fun.”

“I’ll tell my sister to expect another person,” she says as she pulls her phone out. “Do I tell her you’re my boyfriend?”

He nods, “Whatever you want to call me, I’ll be it for the weekend.”

—

She tells him to pack a suit and obviously an overcoat to stay warm in the cold New York air. The party they’re going to is going to be on the top floor of this really expensive restaurant, they’ll have rooftop access and there’s free drinks. It’ll be the fanciest non-FBI party he’s ever been invited to.

The team doesn’t know they’re going together, everyone has the next two weeks off unless there’s something serious like terrorism or multiple bodies dropping, or a kid going missing. But it’s not often their Christmas breaks get disrupted. So they pack up on the 20th, everyone takes the elevators down to the garage together and they say goodbye before their vacations.

He meets her at the train station the next day at 11am, their train leaves at 11:20, and he comes with snacks and coffee. Always in dad mode, he knows what it’s like to go on a long trip with someone who’s hungry, it’s not always fun. They have a little booth together, the trains are mostly empty this close to Christmas. Everyone’s either where they want to be already or taking last-minute flights. So it’s quiet, they get to look out the window together and she shares an earbud with him, with her phone on shuffle, exposing him to a whole bunch of new music.

And she has a nap, head on his shoulder and wrapped around his arm. It’s not the first time this has happened, he’s let her sleep on him on the Jet and they’ve had to share beds in hotels before. He’s hugged her after rough cases and when she’s just sad… she’s his family. Everyone on the team is. He just feels it a little stronger for her.

He rests his cheek on her head, looking out the window with a smile on his face. Excited to pretend to be her boyfriend for the next 2 days. To have her hang off his arm, to dance with her… maybe even steal a kiss or two to really sell it. And he can’t wait to see her dress, or how she does her hair or if she’s going to wear makeup? She doesn’t get all dolled up for work, but he’s seen her dress up for the bar and events for the bureau and he thinks she is so, so beautiful. Always, but especially when she puts on lipstick and her good perfume.

He’s been harbouring this little crush on her for so long that he’s not really sure how much longer it can stay a secret.

They arrive in New York at 6pm. The hotel they’re staying at has a restaurant and Y/N, being the genius she is, booked a reservation for 6:30. They have enough time to put their bags in their room and head back downstairs, but their room is wrong.

“They told me they could switch to two queens?” She complains as she sees just one bed. A King bed.

“Did you specifically say two queens or a double queen?” He teases. “Cause a double queen might make them think you want a bigger bed…”

She groans, holding her hands over her face, “Oh god, I fucked up.”

He gently rubs his hand on her back, “Hey, it’s okay. I don’t mind sharing for 2 nights, there’s lots of room in there. Plus… it might be good for playing pretend.”

She smirks, “my boyfriend would sleep in the same bed as me.”

“and enjoy it,” he pulls her in for a hug and rests his chin on her head while she snuggles into his chest where she feels safest.

—

After dinner, they walk around the city a bit. She still has to get her sister something and she has a registry at some fancy store nearby. They get hot chocolates and stand close together as they walk, hands brushing each other but not holding, no matter how much she wants to hold his hand. So she rubs her knuckles against his and waits for him to be the one to finally give in.

It takes a while, they walk down the block and explore two stores but he finally takes her hand in his, fingers interlocked, as they cross the street. And he doesn’t let go once they’re safely back on the sidewalk. He simply guides her towards the store her sister is registered at and they head inside, closer than ever before.

“Hi, can I help you with anything?” One of the workers asks with a genuine smile on her face.

“my sister has a registry here,” Y/N explains. “It should be under Lindsay and Connor Higgins?”

She’s taken to the register and handed a list, everything they want is on it. Some crossed out as they’ve already been purchased, but a decent amount of things are still there. A lot of it is pointless, fancy shit but she likes to think she knows her sister well. She knows what would actually be used by her and what would just be a decoration to prove she had good taste.

Her sister works really hard at a very important publishing company, she’s gone to work by 6am and home no later than 8pm most nights. She lives on coffee and wine to wake her up in the mornings and relax her at night. So she gets her an espresso maker and some crystal wine glasses. But when she goes to pay for them, Aaron reaches out and pulls the wine glasses towards himself. “I’ll get these, I can’t go without a gift.”

She smiles, “you don’t have to.”

“I want to,” he assures her.

They pay, they get a decorative gift bag each and head back outside to the cold. He reaches for her hand again and she lets him, smiling over at him. “You’re taking this assignment very seriously.”

“Have you ever known me to slack on the job?” He teases.

She bumps her shoulder against his, “No, I guess not… and I guess this is helping, it’ll look more real in front of everyone tomorrow.”

“It won’t be that hard,” he assures her.

“Why, 'cause I’m so loveable?” She jokes, not believing the words that leave her mouth.

“Yes, actually,” he nods, smiling over at her.

She just laughs, not thinking he means it as anything other than familial. “Thanks. You’re pretty great too when you’re not telling me what to do.”

“I don’t boss you around that much,” he laughs too. “Dave teases me all the time about how much nicer I am to you than the others.”

“Well, I am your best agent,” she shrugs with a proud smirk. “You wanna go back to the hotel or is there anything you want to do tonight?”

“We can go back,” he agrees, leading them in the direction of the hotel already. “I’m going to need some good beauty sleep to make your ex jealous tomorrow.”

“Ha!” She laughs, raising her hand that’s carrying the bag to cover her mouth as she giggles. “Yeah, no you don’t. You’re like a million times hotter than him, it’s not a fair fight at all.”

“Yeah, okay,” he shakes his head in disbelief.

“What?” She looks at him like he’s crazy. “Do you not think you’re hot?”

“Not exactly…”

“I knew you were funny but that’s hilarious,” she jokes. ��You’re very, very hot. One of the hottest men I’ve ever seen in my life, like People magazine should be reaching out to you for sexiest man of the year. You’ve been on the news enough times, surely the public will agree.”

He laughs at the compliment, “Thank you, I guess… I guess I should trust your judgement here the way I do everywhere else.”

“Yes, 'cause I’m never wrong,” she reminds him.

They keep joking around, teasing each other until they get back to the hotel. Up the elevator and into their room. They leave their gifts by the door and Aaron lets her take the first turn in the bathroom to get ready for the night.

She takes off her makeup, she washes her face and does her skincare routine and he knocks, “Are you okay in there?”

“Yeah, you can come in,” she announces, still fully dressed.

He opens the door slowly, “You’ve been in here 10 minutes already I thought you were just changing?”

“Nope, skincare is important,” she smiles at him, massaging the moisturizer into her face. “Want some?”

He smiles, “Sure, why not?”

“Wash your face first, get a new face cloth over there,” she points and steps out of the way of the sink. “My face wash is right there.”

She watches him wash his face carefully, smiling at him through the mirror with so much affection behind her eyes. He’s so cute when he gets soft like this, she could easily see them having a life like this together. Getting ready for bed together, doing their nighttime routines and falling into the same bed. Night after night. Forever.

Once his face is washed he looks to her, “How much moisturizer do I use?”

“Want me to do it?” She offers.

He nods, “please?”

“Sit down on the toilet lid,” she instructs and he moves over there quickly.

She opens the jar again and takes a decent-sized amount onto her fingers, she puts the jar down and smiles at him, “It might be cold.” She dabs it on his forehead, cheeks, nose and chin and then starts to rub it in for him. He closes his eyes and sighs as he leans into it. “Like it?”

He hums, nodding slightly, not wanting to talk incase he accidentally got cream in his mouth. She just smiles, adoringly, loving that she gets to have moments like this with him. “You’re so cute…” she whispers.

He chuckles, finally looking at her again. She cups his face in her hands, “all done.”

“You’re cuter.”

“What is happening here?” She asks, completely serious. “Are you just a good actor or—

“I was in a few plays,” he teases. “But no, I’m not acting.”

“Do you have a thing for me?” She lights right up. “Oh my god, you do?”

“And you call yourself a profiler,” he shakes his head. “Yes, okay? I like you. I think you’re wonderful and beautiful and everything I want— is that what you wanted me to say?”

“Get up,” she says, pulling at him.

“Why?” He asks as he stands.

“So you can be taller than me when I kiss you,” she teases. Grabbing him by his shirt and pulling him in.

The kiss is soft at first, cute and sweet… but then they get needy. Years of close proximity and bubbling feelings and “what ifs” all coming to the surface. He cups the back of her head with one hand and holds her lower back with the other, holding her flush to his chest as his tongue makes her acquaintance.

She accidentally moans as his hand goes down to cup her ass and he smiles against her. He pulls back slightly, noses brushing. “I can’t tell you how long I’ve waited to do that.”

“Really?” She can’t believe it.

He smiles before he steals another kiss, and another and another and before they know it he’s backed her out of the bathroom and all the way to their king bed. He has her on the mattress, hand on her back and the nape of her neck as he cradles her and hovers over her. His tongue on hers, their chests pressed together, and her hands on his back with her nails desperately clinging to the cotton.

He eagerly moves to kiss her neck and while it feels so good, she’s worried about what is about to go down. Sure, she hoped for this. She thought maybe they’d have a few drinks at the party tomorrow and stumble home and fall into bed together and regret it in the morning but this… admitting to liking each other while completely sober, was not on her mind at all.

“Aaron,” she whispers, hesitation in her voice.

He pulls back, “something wrong?”

“Are we going to regret this?” She worries.

He cups her face gently, his body weight still on top of her, it’s oddly comforting to feel so trapped under him. “I know I won’t, but if you will, then we stop. I never want you to regret your time with me. I never want you to be uncomfortable with me. I never want to lose what we have… so if that means we never have more than a friendship, I'm perfectly okay with that.”

“I have tried so hard not to love you for the last year and a bit that we’ve been friends,” she admits. “If we go further and you change your mind, I’ll never recover.”

“I won’t change my mind,” he says, confident as ever. “I want you to love me as much as I already love you.”

His thumb caresses her cheek while he talks, he looks at her with the most affectionate look she’s ever seen on him. He’s so handsome all the time, but this look. The softness, his big brown eyes, the way he smelled like her face cream and he kept looking down at her lips like he was dying to taste them again… she’s always believed him when he speaks, but this is different. He’s opened his chest and handed her his heart and he wants her to hold it and keep it safe... forever.

“I love you,” she admits, tearing up because this is so unreal. “I love you so much, Aaron.”

He kisses her again, so gently, breathing her in and savouring every moment. Sure, it’s not their first kiss, that happened 10 minutes ago, but this is the first kiss they’ll have being openly in love with each other.

She kisses him again and again, never wanting this to end. She wraps her legs around him, she holds him closer than ever and he lightly moans against her. She starts to work at his shirt, unbuttoning it so she can get her hands under it. She wraps her arms around him, touching his hot skin as he breaks the kiss and moves down her neck.

“I love you, so much,” he reminds her again.

“Show me how much?” she whispers right into his ear.

He pulls back, delicately looking into her eyes, “are you sure?”

She nods, “more than I’ve ever been before.”

He gets his shirt off, and he pulls her forward to pull hers off too. Through kisses and rolling around, his pants are off, then her’s. Behind her, he kisses her spine while he unclips her bra, pushing each strap off her arms with kisses to her shoulders, he cups her breasts and kisses up to her ear again, “lay down.”

She listens, he gets between her legs and peels her underwear off. Raising her right leg, he kisses her knee and down her thigh, as he gets on his stomach, he looks up at her for permission and all she can do is nod because this seems unreal. His big beautiful brown eyes are looking at her from between her legs as he kisses the most intimate part of her body and she’s in heaven.

She’s died and gone to heaven. The train must’ve crashed and she’s in her own personalized forever with the man of her dreams…. But it didn’t. This is real and happening and she should be enjoying it.

She grips his hair, and her back arches as she moans into the contact, he’s so fucking good with his mouth because of course he is? Is there anything this man can’t do?

Full of love and zero expectations or worry, she feels herself getting closer to an orgasm so much faster than she has with anyone else ever. Not even herself. Normally she’s so in her head, so nervous and worried or barely being taken care of… this one just sneaks up on her, trembling through her, she grips his hair a little tighter and moans out his name, “Oh, oh I’m cumming, I’m— oh!”

He laps up every last drop as she rides it out, overstimulating her slightly, and he can tell. He pulls back with a grin, proud of himself and enjoying the way she looks so fucked out like this.

He kisses back up her tummy, between her boobs and then hovers over her while she’s still catching her breath, “hi…”

She smiles, “Hi?”

“Ready for me to show you the rest?”

“There’s more?” She teases, “You love me more than that?”

He laughs, “Yeah, that was just a taste…”

She pulls him in for a kiss, tasting herself on his lips. “Mm, a good taste.”

“You’re telling me,” he growls. “I could do that every day for the rest of my life.”

“And I’d let you…”

He kisses her again, cause if he doesn’t, she won’t stop teasing him.

Kissing him while coming down from her high, feels unreal. She’s floating on a cloud, and might as well be on drugs— it feels too good, she moans against him, legs wrapped around him, she never wants to let him go. He kisses the side of her mouth, “baby—

She hums, pulling him back in for another kiss.

He pulls back, “I can’t fuck you with my boxers still on.”

She sighs, pretending it’s more work than it is, “Fine, take ‘em off.”

He shakes his head with a smile as she lets him go and he’s able to push his boxers off. “And I need to grab a condom—

“did you bring condoms?” She sounds shocked.

He nods, “yeah… I didn’t expect anything, I just always have some in my toiletries bag.”

She watches his cute ass jiggle as he walks towards his bag, he squats to undo the zipper and she tries not to laugh at the view of his balls dangling but it’s so endearing somehow? He’s real and there and he’s about to rock her world.

He’s quick to grab what he wants, he rips the condom open with his teeth and tosses the wrapper to the floor as he rolls it on right beside the bed. She watches carefully, eyes scanning his whole body. She hasn’t really had a good look at him while naked yet, he’s been pressed against the bed or on top of her. But damn.

“Jesus,” she whispers under her breath.

He smirks, “what?”

She waves her hand around in his general direction, “You just walk around with all that under your suits every day?”

He shakes his head again, “I could say the same thing about you.”

He crawls back onto the bed, between her legs again, one hand on the bed as he hovers over her, “you okay with this position?”

She nods, “perfectly okay with it. It’s a very underrated position.”

“Mhm,” he agrees, leaning in to kiss her again. One hand on her hip, he grinds himself against her, “Ready?”

She nodded, watching as he lets go of her hip to grip himself at the base, she spreads her legs a bit more and he taps her clit once just for fun but it makes her whine, “Don’t tease me.”

“But you can tease me?” He asks, head right at her entrance, about to push in… she nods and that’s when he does it. Watching her head tip back with a silent moan. “Now I know how to get you quiet.”

He goes back to rest his hand on her hip but she reaches for them and interlocks their fingers, instead. He bottomed out and dropped to hover over her once more, bringing their interlocked hands over her head.

She reached up to kiss him, but Aaron pushed into the kiss and made her settle into the pillow once again. It honestly felt like a movie scene, the first time between two star-crossed lovers. He pulled out ever so slightly before thrusting in again, she gasped against his mouth. Aaron trusted more while she pushed her hips into it as well, an offbeat rhythm developed in pure ecstasy. She let go of Aaron’s hands to snake them around his waist, to run her fingers over the soft and slightly chilled skin of his back. Feeling the bump of his spine Aaron ducked into the crook of her neck, placing kisses along her collarbone.

He changed the position of his thrust as he wrapped his arms under her, arching her back ever so slightly to reach the bundle of nerves that left her a quivering mess. She, in response to the added pleasure, ran her sharp nails down Aaron’s back and he groaned at the feeling, “do that again.” he requested.

“Like that?” She asked, dragging his nails down him once more.

“Yeah,” Aaron moaned, dark and deep. “Mark me… where no one can see it, only you know tomorrow.”

So she does, she runs her nails over his back with more intent, knowing there will be 8 red lines spread down his back in the morning. Just then, he starts to kiss lower, down to her boobs, where he sucks a mark that shouldn't be visible in her dress tomorrow… he wanted to mark her just as bad. But his kisses quickly return to her neck and lower ear.

“Aaron,” she moans out. “Go a little faster?”

He does as she asks, keeping that loving feeling but picking up the pace. The feeling of pure bliss overtook her body with each thrust, warm chills ran through him with each brush of his thumb on her clit. Every kiss to her neck and squeeze around her waist made her feel like she was on fire. The hairs on her arms stood up, and goosebumps formed along his forearms. Aaron kissed from her neck to her nipple and took the hard nib into his mouth causing her to moan like she never had before.

“Aaron,” she panted, pulling Aaron’s face back up to his.

His eyes were absolutely blown out in pleasure, those chocolate wonders he used to stare into were now replaced solely by the pupils. She ran her thumb across Aaron’s cheek before reaching to the nape of his neck to pull him into another kiss. Open mouths pressed together, hot air on each other’s faces as they panted to the pleasure.

She was in heaven.

Her orgasm bubbled in her stomach, “are you close?” Aaron whispered right beside her mouth, kissing her cheek lightly after.

She hummed, unable to speak with the mass amount of pleasure coursing through her body. Aaron fucked into her a bit harder, a tiny bit faster, hitting her G-spot dead on each time to the point the nerves in her thighs were quaking uncontrollably.

She was so close, Aaron used 3 fingers to quickly rub over her clit before she threw her head back with a shout. Cumming with her eyes pressed shut, pleasure coursed through her body stronger than she’s ever felt before.

Nothing had ever made her cum that hard, ripping through her like her soul was leaving her body. She dug her nails deep into Aaron’s skin holding him close to his body while he kept thrusting.

A high-pitched gasp left his lips, close to her ear as his hips sputtered into hers one last time. She still hadn’t opened her eyes, her breath rigid, she felt winded. Aaron had stilled as he came inside of her and then collapsed into her, deadweight lying on her.

But she didn’t mind. Not in the slightest. She wrapped herself around him even tighter and kissed the side of his head, “I love you, too.”

He kisses her neck, “I can’t believe I was afraid to tell you…”

“Silly man, we could’ve been doing that the whole time,” she teases him again the first chance she gets.

He huffs a little laugh out of his nose, smiling against her. “We can do this all the time now.”

“Mhm,” she squeezes him a little tighter. “I hope you know this means we’re dating now. I don’t just fuck anyone. Especially not my boss…”

He manages to push himself up to look at her, and the look on his face says it all. “Yeah, I know… and I’ll handle the paperwork when we get back.”

—

They get all dolled up together, between kisses and flirting and teasing… they end up fully dressed, presents in hand, on their way to the party. They hold hands the whole cab ride over, up the elevator and into the booming restaurant.

It’s entirely booked out for her sister’s party, on the top floor of a fancy building. It’s completely catered, there are fancy waiters walking around with trays of hors d’oeuvres and expensive champagne. They have their gifts taken from their hands upon arrival and their hands are instantly filled with a drink. She looks around, looking for the first person she knows well and spots her mom and dad over on the other side of the room.

“Come with me, I have some people I want you to meet…” she says as she leads him through the crowd.

He’s nervous but more excited. She gets to show him off and this isn’t a lie. He really is her boyfriend and they are in love and happy and this is everything he’s ever wanted. With his hand around her waist the whole time, shoulder to shoulder, he meets her parents and her sister. He shakes hands with her dad and her new brother-in-law, he gets hugs from the mom and sister, they’re looking at her with eyes that he can hear. They’re saying how much of an improvement he is to the last guy, they’re amazed at how handsome he is, and he blushes slightly in response.

“So how long has this been going on?” Her dad asks.

She looks up at him and smiles, “Not long, but we’re really happy.”

“The happiest,” he agrees, stealing a quick kiss from her that makes the women swoon.

“You know, this is fantastic,” her sister announces. “I was worried you’d be upset to see Brad and Cameron here together but now you have Aaron and they’re not even coming anymore. Something happened… I don’t even think they’re together anymore.”

“Oh?” She’s completely shocked to hear that.

“Once a cheater always a cheater,” her brother-in-law says under his breath with the roll of his eyes.

“We see it all the time at work,” Aaron agrees. “It’s pathological. They crave attention so intensely that they’ll do anything to get it, to the detriment of the people they love. They cheat because for a moment they’re the most important person, they’re attractive enough to get who they want and powerful enough to get away with it. And even when it blows up in their face they can play the ‘you wouldn’t be this mad if you weren’t so obsessed with me’ card.”

“That’s Brad,” her dad agrees. “Good riddance, honestly.”

“Let’s just leave it there,” her mom announces. “We’re here for Lindsay and Connor.”

“It’s been lovely to meet you Aaron, but we have a lot of people to mingle with,” Lindsay announces and Connor sighs. “We’ll talk again later?”

“Sounds good,” Y/N lets them head off and then she’s just with her parents. “Um, I’m hungry… Aaron, did you want to go raid the snacks?”

“I’d love to,” he agrees. “It was lovely to meet you both.”

“We hope to see you again regularly?” Her mother throws in.

“I don’t plan on going anywhere,” he assures, “you should get used to me.”

She manages to pull him away from them, a little overwhelmed and so in love with him. She gets him to an empty corner and looks up at him like he’s crazy, “did you seriously say that?”

He nods, “What part of last night didn’t you understand? I’m madly in love with you. I would marry you tomorrow if it wouldn’t take the attention off your sister.”

She just laughs, shocked and amazed that he just said that. “Really?”

“Yes. Really.”

She shakes her head in disbelief, “o-okay… but you still have to ask me. I don’t need anything big and extravagant and I’d like to maybe pick the ring out with you if you want but—

“You want to?”

She nods, that teasing smirk he loves so much plastered on her face, “I don’t just want to be your work wife, Aaron.”

“We’ll revisit this in the new year… I need Jack to know about this and be okay with it before I spring a step-mom on him,” he explains.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

General Taglist

@ncsls0515 @stevesmunsons @reidsbookclub @sweetyyhippyy @manuosorioh @mrs-dr-reid @k-k0129 @squishyturtle @katsukis1wife @buckleyhans @mrs-ssa-hotch @ssavanessa22

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotch hotchner #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotch x you #hotch smut #hotch x reader #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine

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stylesluxx · 6 months ago

Text

stable – a.hotchner

[warnings: hotch in the hospital, anxious reader]

summary: in which y/n visits hotch in the hospital

word count: 888

main masterlist

The drive to the hospital was suffocating. No matter how many windows you rolled down, it wasn't nearly enough air. Your hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly, trying to focus on the fact that he was safe and alive.

Emily's voice echoed in your ears. "Stable," is all that you can hear. It was the last thing you heard before you hung up on your friend and raced out of the office.

The word was fragile, as if it could break any moment but it gave you hope. But the thought of what happened to your fiance, Aaron, weighed on you. It brought your heart down to your ankles.

When you get to the hospital, you don't remember parking, how, or where. You rushed through the sterile halls, the beeping of the monitors and the smell of antiseptic making your skin crawl. You couldn't believe you wanted to be a nurse. Because at this moment you couldn't stand hospitals. The idea of Aaron being hurt—of him lying somewhere behind one of those doors—is unbearable.

As you reach the nurse's station, your breath is short as you try to remain calm. "Aaron Hotchner. Where is he?"

The nurse glances up, her face softening as she senses your panic. "He's in Room 407. He's stable and awake now," she says reassuringly, hoping to calm you down.

Stable.

You nod and make your way to his room, your heart pounding. Your steps quicken as you approach the door. For a moment, you hesitate. You've been trying to hold yourself together since Emily's call, but now reality is starting to hit you in a way you weren't prepared for.

You take a deep breath and push the door open.

And there he is—sitting up in the hospital bed, pale but very much alive. His eyes find yours the moment you step inside, and the tightness in your chest eases just a little. He's okay and he's right there.

You rush to his side, ignoring everyone else in the room. Your hands are shaking as you reach out for him.

"Aaron..."

He looks at you, his dark eyes soft, but you can see the exhaustion in them, the pain he's trying to hide.

"Hey," he says, his voice low, rougher than usual. "I'm okay."

You take his hand gently, brushing your thumb over his knuckles as if reassuring yourself that he's here.

"Em... Emily said it was Foyet?" You whisper, your voice catching in your throat. "He stabbed you."

Aaron nods, his jaw tightening at the mention of George Foyet.

"Yeah. But I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding, but the weight of the fear remains. You sit down next to his bed, never letting go of his hand.

"I was so scared," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper.

His thumb moves softly against your hand, a gesture of comfort even in his weakened state.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs. "I didn't want you to worry."

"You can't not expect me to worry, Aaron. Not when something like this happens."

He doesn't argue. His eyes soften as he looks at you, the unspoken emotions heavy between you two. You can see it—the guilt he's carrying. The sense that, somehow he let you down by getting hurt, even though that's the last thing you should be feeling.

You glance at the bandage peeking out from under his hospital gown, your stomach twisting at the sight.

"What did the doctors say?"

"They said I'll recover. It'll take some time, but I'll be fine," he says quietly.

You close your eyes for a second, letting more relief wash over you. He's going to be okay. He's here and alive you remind yourself. That's what matters. But the thought of how close you came to losing him makes your chest ache.

"I wish I had been there. I should've been there but I was working late," you quickly let out, unable to hide the tremor in your voice.

Aaron shakes his head, gently squeezing your hand.

"No, this is not something you want to be a part of. You shouldn't have to see any of this."

He's trying to protect you like he always does but it doesn't make the fear go away.

"I know you don't want me to worry, Aaron, but I can't just switch it off. I worry about you. I love you. You can't ask me to not feel any way when stuff like this happens."

"I know," he says just above a whisper. "I know. I just hate that you have to be scared because of me."

Tears sting the back of your eyes but you blink them away, not wanting to break down in front of him.

"It's because I love you. And because I am terrified that I will lose you one day," you say softly.

For a moment, the room is silent, besides the bums and beeps of the machines around you.

Aaron looks at you as if trying to memorize your face as if he'll never see you again.

"I'm not going anywhere," he promises with a steady voice.

You nod, squeezing his hand tighter, holding onto him like he's the most important thing in the world. Because to you, he is.

[AN: i usually have something to say but today I don’t ☝🏾 here's my taglist]

#stylesluxx #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #criminal minds x reader

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sequinsmile-x · 3 months ago

Text

Alone Together

“My name is Emily Prentiss. I…live with Jack.”

The nurse furrows her brows, “Are you his mother?”

She clenches her jaw, cursing herself for correcting the other woman in the first place, for letting her worry fluster her to the point where she didn’t even think about letting the half-lie slip by her. She can see where this is going already, and it makes her tense, her shoulders so tight she thinks she might snap in half.

AKA - the one where Jack is in the hospital, but Emily isn't allowed to see him.

-x-

Hi besties,

Hope you are all okay <3

We are finally out of the longest January on record and at the end of another week! Here is some family hurt/comfort with our two idiots and Jack for you <3 I know a lot of you love Jack/Emily content so this is for you - you know who you are <3

As always, let me know what you think!

-x-

Words: 3,6k

Warnings: none!

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Emily doesn’t remember a single moment of the drive from the office to the hospital. She’d been on autopilot the entire time, her hands so tight around the steering wheel her knuckles were stark white, her skin so taut over bone she was surprised it didn’t split open as she desperately tried to think back to first thing that morning, to go over her interactions with Jack again and again to see if there was anything she could have missed.

It had been a busy morning, like most mornings were in their house, and Jack had seemed fine. He’d been a little slower than he usually was in the morning, more tired, but when she and Aaron had both asked if he was okay he’d nodded. She wished she’d pushed, that she’d asked again, but her phone had rung, and so had Aaron’s and the day started in a hurry as work pulled them in different directions. She’d left the FBI shortly after she and Aaron got together, had grabbed the opportunity that Clyde offered her of going back to Interpol with both hands, any doubt she had about it gone as soon as he told her she didn’t need to leave DC for the offer to stand. She hadn’t regretted it for a moment, had always known it was the right thing for her and her relationships with the people she loved, but right now she wished she still worked with her fiance so she knew where the hell he was.

The school had called her because they couldn’t get hold of Aaron. It was only after she was in her car and had got hold of Dave after leaving Aaron two voicemails, that she remembered he said he was going to a prison to conduct some interviews. He wouldn’t have his phone for hours, which meant she was all Jack had for now. Dave had promised her that he’d do his best to get hold of Aaron, even if it meant going to the prison and dragging him out of the interview room himself, and it had helped calm her down a little.

She just about remembers to lock her car behind her as she marches into the hospital, still every part of the Interpol agent that she had been when she left the office, her gun and badge still on her hip, but with an undeniable air of a concerned parent too. She walks up to the nurse's desk and clears her throat, barely waiting for the nurse to look at her before she starts speaking.

“I got a call about Jack Hotchner,” she says, sounding less anxious than she feels, “The school nurse called to say that he has suspected appendicitis. He was fine this morning, I don’t-”

“Mrs Hotchner,” the nurse replies, her smile annoyingly kind as she cuts over her, “These things can come on very quickly in children. Your son is currently being looked over by the doctor.”

“I’m not…” she clears her throat, stopping herself before she says too much that might get her nowhere fast, “My name is Emily Prentiss. I…live with Jack.”

The nurse furrows her brows, “Are you his mother?”

“I’m engaged to his father,” she says, digging out her wallet from her purse, slamming her driving license on the counter with more force than necessary, “Look, we have the same address.”

“Be that as it may, Miss Prentiss-”

“Agent Prentiss,” she corrects, again with more force than she means to, her desire to see Jack, to see the little boy she knows she couldn’t love more if he was hers, overriding her need to be polite. She sighs and looks at the nurse's name badge, “Look, Sophie, I poured his cereal this morning. It’s me he wants when he’s sick. Can you please just let me through?”

Sophie smiles politely, clearly sorry that her hands are tied, “I’m sorry Agent Prentiss, but we can only let a parent or a legal guardian see him.”

She thinks of the paperwork they’d filled out, the paperwork to make her his legal guardian that was currently with the courts, and she curses herself for not doing it sooner. They’d waited until the purchase of the house had been finalised, until both her and Aaron’s names were on the deeds, to organise it. Their lawyers had told them it was better if their lives were more obviously intertwined, that family court would look on the addition to her in Jack’s life in a legal aspect more favourably if they were living together permanently.

“His dad is at work,” she says, “I’ve tried to get hold of him.”

“And his mother?”

“His mother is dead,” Emily replies, half shouting it, and she sighs at herself, pinching the bridge of her nose when she realises she’s drawn the attention of more people around her. “Sorry,” she chokes out, blowing out a slow breath, “Is there really no way? He’s back there by himself.”

Sophie shakes her head, “Not until his father gets here. But a nurse is with him, he isn’t alone I promise.”

Emily considers pulling her badge from her belt, the weight of it almost pulling her down, and waving it around until someone lets her through. She considers doing what her family had always done - throwing money around, offering to buy the hospital a new wing until she was told she could see her little boy, but she knows it won’t help her. That it won’t help Jack. So she nods and heads towards the waiting area, swallowing back the emotions she won’t set free here, letting them sink into the lowest parts of her chest as she settles into an uncomfortable plastic chair. She twists her engagement ring around her finger and sucks in a breath. It’s bitter when she blows it back out, makes her feel nauseous as she thinks of Jack in a room just out of her reach with only strangers for company.

“Damn it,” she says, wiping away a single stray tear from her cheek, determined it will be the only one she lets slip free before she goes home. She pulls her phone from her purse and groans when she has no missed calls from Aaron, “Where the hell are you?”

___

Sophie takes pity on her about 30 minutes after she arrives and comes to tell her that Jack needs surgery. She still can’t let her see him, something is even harder to swallow now she knows the little boy needs an operation, but Sophie says she’ll tell Jack that Emily loves him and that she’ll see him later.

Emily watches the clock, each minute a lifetime until she gets a call from Aaron. She has to be the calm one, has to tell him everything is okay, that Jack needs his appendix taken out but that he will be fine. He says he’ll meet her at the hospital and she makes him promise that he’ll drive safely, wryly jokes that she can’t deal with both of her Hotchner boys in hospital at the same time if he gets himself into an accident.

At least, she thinks sadly to herself, if Aaron was in hospital she’d be able to see him.

Almost two hours after she arrived, two hours of sitting in a hard, uncomfortable chair, the ache in her back nothing in comparison to the ache in her chest, Aaron finally arrives. She hears him before she sees him, his voice calling out for her the second he spots her.

“Emily?”

She stands up, her purse slipping from her lap to the ground, but she doesn’t pay it any attention. Instead, she lets Aaron pull her into a fierce hug, and she hugs him back just as tightly, her hand running soothing circles on his back.

“He’s in surgery,” she says, cupping the back of his head as she pulls back, hoping that her smile is comforting, “He should be done soon.”

He nods, and he looks older than he usually does. Anguish and fear pressed into the lines on his face, making them and the bags under his eyes deeper, “Why are you out here? Is something wrong-”

“No, honey,” she says, cupping his cheek, making him look at her as his eyes dart around the room, “They…” she clears her throat, tries to make sure her voice is even and doesn’t give way to her sadness and stress. He was the one she had to focus on for now, him and Jack. She could fall apart later when they were both okay, “I’m not his mom. Or his legal guardian yet,” she says, pressing her lips together to stop them from shaking, “They wouldn’t let me see him.”

His eyebrows furrow, the line between them so deep she can’t stop herself from pressing her thumb into it, trying to soothe the anger she can see building there, “What?” He says, his voice low and stern as he looks around as if trying to find someone, anyone, to tell them exactly what he thought of that, “They wouldn’t let you see him? He was alone-”

“Aaron, baby, look at me,” she says, grasping his chin, “It’s okay,” she says, even though they both know it isn’t, even though she knows he can see how much it’s upset her too, “Jack is the most important thing right now, okay?”

He nods sharply, his breath stuttering across her face as he presses his forehead against hers, desperately trying to seek out her strength and comfort. It’s enough to let her know just how stressed he is. Their displays of affection, their need for each other, were usually kept just for the safety of their home. The walls that surrounded them were the sanctuary neither one of them had had in years, or, in her case, ever. They sought each other out constantly, always pressed up against each other in one way or another whilst they were at home, as if they were storing up the love they had for each other for when they were apart. It felt like theirs, so it was rare for them to seek it from each other in public, to let other people - especially strangers - in on what felt so precious.

She cups the back of his head to keep him close, gives him what he needs with her forehead pressed against his. She’d let him take all her strength if he needed it, would let it leech from her skin into his, because she knew when it was her turn, when she needed his strength, he’d give it to her in return. It was a give and take that they’d had since they simply friends, a cornerstone of their relationship that she knew made them as strong, that she knew allowed them to weather whatever storm life threw at them.

“Come on,” she says, stamping her lips against his and smiling softly as she pulls back just enough to grab her purse from the floor before she sinks into his side again, her hand tight around his, “Now you’re here, they’ll tell us more.”

They are shown through to the pediatric ward so quickly it feels absurd. Jack is already back from surgery and in a room, and the doctor tells them that he’ll be awake soon. It’s a relief, a weight off of both of their shoulders, when they see him. He looks smaller than usual, drowning in the starched sheets in a bed made for an adult, but other than that he looks like he’s sleeping. Aaron sits in the chair closest to the bed, and Emily sits next to him, their hands still linked together as they look at the little boy.

“We’re going to have to fill the freezer with ice cream,” Emily says, resting her cheek against Aaron’s shoulder, “We both know he’ll ask.”

Aaron chuckles dryly and turns his head to kiss her temple, “We both know you’ll give him anything he asks for.”

She gasps in fake outrage and pulls back to look at him, “Like you’re any better at saying no.”

He hums and leans forward to kiss her, “We’ve got to get better at it before we have any more kids,” he quips, “Otherwise they’ll run rings around us.”

The thought of it makes her smile, just like it always did. A baby that was half her and half him, physical proof of their love for each other out in the world for everyone else to see. The happiness doesn’t linger like usual, it fades as she looks at a sleeping Jack, as she rests her hand on his leg, because she wonders if, even when she is legally his guardian, the wider world would view him any less her son than any other children they may have.

Jack groans, pulling her out of her thoughts, and she and Aaron both turn to look at him.

“Jack, buddy,” Aaron says, standing up so he can sit on the edge of his bed. Emily stands up too, her hands on Aaron’s shoulders as she smiles down at the little boy, “How do you feel?”

“My tummy hurts.”

“You had to have an operation,” Emily says, breaking away from Aaron to sit on the edge of the other side of Jack’s bed, her hand reaching out for his, smiling when he holds her hand as tightly as he can, “Your tummy will feel sore for a few days but then you’ll feel better.”

He nods, “The nurse told me that you were here but you didn’t come to see me.”

It’s like a knife to the heart, his innocence, the lack of understanding shining in his eyes, each a fresh wound that makes her want to take back her decision to sit peacefully in the waiting room.

“I know, sweet boy,” she says, leaning in to kiss his forehead, “I’m sorry. I would have been here if I could. But she told me that she’d let you know that I love you.”

He leans into her hand as she strokes his cheek, “I always know you love me,” he says, and he looks between her and Aaron, “Can we go home now?”

“You have to stay here tonight,” Aaron says, running his fingers through Jack’s hair, “But if you’re feeling better tomorrow, the doctor said you might be able to go home. I’ll stay here with you tonight so you’re not by yourself.”

Jack looks at Emily, “Are you staying too?”

She shakes her head, and feels Aaron’s gaze burning into her cheek, “I can’t, honey. Only one of us has to stay and it has to be Daddy.”

It was something else the doctor told them, that one parent or guardian could stay overnight, and it had been another kick in the gut.

Jack furrows his brows, “But then you’ll be alone at home.”

She sucks in a breath, covering it with a smile as she looks up at Aaron for a moment before she looks back at Jack, “I’ll be okay,” she says, not sure which one of them needs to hear it the most, “And I’ll come back tomorrow with some clothes for you and Daddy.”

“And you’ll bring Rupert?”

“And of course, I’ll bring Rupert.” She smiles as she thinks of his favourite toy, a stuffed rabbit that Aaron told her had once been bigger than Jack, and she nods, Aaron reaches over Jack for her, seeking out the hand that wasn’t in Jack’s, and she takes it, squeezing his palm against hers in an attempt to comfort them both. “I’ll be okay.”

This time, when she says it, she thinks she might be trying to convince herself.

___

She gets takeout on the way home.

She eats it in the kitchen, the house unbearably quiet around her, and as soon as she puts food down for Sergio, she heads upstairs. She showers quickly, the rush of the water a welcome distraction from the emptiness of her home, and then changes into a pair of Aaron’s sweatpants and one of his swearers - cuffing the pant legs so she can walk without tripping over - settling for trying to seek comfort in the clothes of the man she loves since she can’t be in his arms.

Before she gets into bed, she goes into Jack’s room. She picks up Rupert from his bed, buries her face in his worn fur and breathes in. She takes him with her to the master bedroom, and she sneaks under the covers, the vastness of their bed bigger than ever without Aaron next to her. She was used to sleeping without him when he was on cases, but having to do it when he was just across town felt different - especially because Jack wasn’t here to sneak into bed with her. She sighs as she pulls the covers around her, smiling sadly when Sergio jumps onto the bed with a muted thump, his meow loud in the otherwise quiet room, she reaches out to scratch between his ears.

“It’s just the two of us tonight, Serg,” she says, sighing sadly, “Just like it used to be,” he meows again, “I know, buddy. I don’t like it anymore either.”

She jumps when her phone rings, and she sits up, scrambling for her phone, panic she’d pushed down earlier making a quick return the second she sees Aaron’s name on the screen. She answers quickly, her hold on Rupert against her chest tight.

“Aaron? Is everything okay? Did something-”

“Em, he’s okay,” he assures her, his voice low and quiet as he cuts her off before she can spiral any further, “He’s asleep. I thought I’d call to check on you.”

She chokes on a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh, and she shakes her head at herself as the tears she’d been suppressing all afternoon spill down her cheeks, “I’m okay.”

“Sweetheart,” he says, “I’m not okay. Today was a lot. It’s okay if you’re not okay too.”

She hums, almost mad at him for how well he knew her, and she wipes her cheek before she rests it against the top of Rupert’s head, her tears dampening his fur, “I just…I forget sometimes.”

“You forget what, baby?”

“That I’m not his mom,” she says, unable to stop the sob that tears from her throat, the sound turning into a wet laugh as Sergio nudges at her hand, his head tilted to the side as if he’s trying to work out what’s wrong, “God, I’m sorry,” she says, sniffing, “Your son’s in the hospital and I’m the one crying.”

“He’s our son, Emily,” he says, his voice firm and loving, “He’s yours just as much as he is mine and Haleys,” he laughs wryly, “I think we both know if given a choice, he would have wanted you to stay with him.”

“That’s not true,” she replies automatically, “You’re the centre of his world and you know it.”

“And you’re the sun,” he says, and she scoffs, shaking her head even though he can’t see her, “It’s true. We Hotchner men are unable to stop being drawn to you.”

She chuckles and wipes her cheek, “If Reid were listening in, he’d remind you that the planets orbit the sun because its mass is bigger, and therefore it creates a gravitational pull,” she scrunches her nose up, “If I didn’t know better, or if you were my mother, I’d think this was a very creative way of telling me I’ve put on weight.”

“Never, Em. You know that.” He laughs at her joke, the sound music to her ears, a far cry from the strain in his voice earlier when he’d shown up at the hospital, “Sometimes I forget I’m marrying a nerd.”

“You love it, and you know it.”

“I love you,” he says, and he sighs, “We’ll get the paperwork fast-tracked, Em. I know a guy who can help. This won’t happen again.”

She hums, “Well, his appendix can’t get inflamed for a second time anyway.”

“You know what I mean, sweetheart.”

“Yeah,” she says, swallowing thickly as she wipes a tear from her cheek, “I know. I love you too, by the way,” she looks over at his empty side of the bed, “Our bed is cold without you.”

“We’ll be home tomorrow night, Jack seems to be doing well.”

“And until then, I have Sergio and Rupert for company.” She says, and she can practically hear his smile down the phone and it’s a comfort she hadn’t known she’d needed. She sinks into the bed, pulling the covers around herself again, and she sighs contentedly.

“Want me to stay on the line until you fall asleep?” He asks, and she almost tells him no, almost shakes off the offer and tells him she’ll be fine, but she wants this. Wants him. And until she can have him and Jack back with her, she’ll make do with what little bits of him she can have.

“Yeah,” she says, tucking Rupert against her chest, “I’d like that.”

She falls asleep as he tells her about his day at work, about the interview she never got to ask him about, and she knows that whilst tonight she might be alone, she certainly wasn’t lonely.

#aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fanfiction #hotchniss fanfic #emily prentiss #emily prentiss fanfiction #hotchniss fan fic #hotchniss fanfiction #aaron x emily #hotchniss

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fandom-imagines-stories · 2 months ago

Text

It's You

Season Three Episode Ten (Season Finale)

Dr. Spencer Reid x Reader (Aaron Hotchner’s Sister)

Words: 5389

Series Masterlist

Summary: It’s finally here. The wedding.

Notes: Ahhhhhhhh I have been planning this episode since the beginning of the series and I can’t believe we’re here. I honestly got a little emotional writing this. They’ve all just come so far! Thank you all so so much for your support this season. (I promise this isn’t the end just yet). Always let me know what you think and what you might be hoping for in season four.

It was strange, staying in his apartment again. But Penelope had insisted that this was one tradition worth keeping. So you woke up on a pullout couch instead of in your fiance’s arms for the sake of not seeing each other before the ceremony. It was early. She’d insisted on that too. You’d have breakfast at Aaron’s and be at her place by 8:00 sharp for non-alcoholic mimosas and the getting-ready get-together of your dreams. Her words, of course.

Coffee mercifully filled your senses as you rubbed your tired eyes. And beneath it…

“Is that-” You took a long, deep breath. “Pancakes?”

Shuffling into the kitchen, you found your brother standing over a griddle with maple syrup and chocolate chips set on the table.

“I can’t remember the last time you made me pancakes.” You laughed through a yawn and pulled up a chair.

Aaron shrugged. “It’s a special occasion.”

“I should have gotten married sooner.”

He smiled and flipped it in the air, a trick he used to do all the time when you were having a bad day.

“What time is Garcia working her ‘magic’.”

You groaned. “Don’t remind me.”

“You’ll have JJ and Prentiss to reign her in.” He plated a trio of fluffy pancakes and drowned them in syrup, just how you liked it.

The fork trembled in your hand, scratching against the plate. No matter how many bites you took, nothing eased your growing nerves.

“I can do this,” you said. “Right?”

He just kept smiling.

A honk sounded from outside and your phone buzzed with the text telling you Emily was here to pick you up.

Aaron handed you a to-go cup full of coffee.

“I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Make sure Derek goes easy on him?” You pulled him in for a hug. “I’m sure he’s squirrely enough without the teasing.”

“I’ll try my best.” Aaron urged you toward the door. “Now get going. Before the three of them come chasing up here.”

You gave him one final, semi-terrified smile, and headed out.

He took a shaky breath, fighting back the emotions clouding his head, and poured three more pancakes onto the griddle.

The dress bag hung on the back of Penelope’s bedroom door, staring you down like a big white monster. Claws of combs and heels littered the ground, makeup bags piled around in a dragon’s hoard.

You swallowed.

You could do this.

“Earth to Y/N,” JJ teased. She was laying out the bridesmaid dresses on the sofa, along with organizing the boxes and boxes of shoes you needed to try on. “Everything okay?”

“Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet now.” Emily nudged you, grinning.

“I heard that,” Penelope called from the other room. “You know the rules, Emily.”

“Right,” Emily laughed. “The ‘forbidden words’. My bad.” Rolling her eyes, she went out into the hallway, waiting to be let back in by Garcia.

“You know,” you said, “I'm pretty sure that only works in theater.”

“We’re abiding by the laws of the Scottish Play today.” She allowed Emily to re-enter, but not without a scolding look. “Positive, warm vibes only in this establishment.”

“Okay, okay.” Emily held up her hands. “Who knew brideszilla would be one of the bridesmaids?”

Penelope gave her a playful smack to the shoulder and shuffled back to start bringing out jewelry.

“You really didn’t have to do all of this, Penelope,” you said, gazing at the gorgeous necklaces and bracelets she laid out.

“I wanted to.” She held up one necklace up to your chest to see how it would look. “I think something simpler would be best, don’t you?”

“I could just wear my-” You started, but cut yourself off. You were going to say locket. The locket that was now locked away in evidence. The one that had hung around Haley’s neck after she…

JJ stopped placing dresses and sat beside you.

“I’m sure we’ll find something perfect,” she said softly, taking your hand in hers.

You swallowed hard and, after a while, nodded.

“Okay, I can’t resist,” Penelope announced. “Group hug. Stat.” Without warning, she pulled the three of you into a cramped, loving embrace.

The rest of the morning passed in laughter. You went through various hairstyles, lipsticks, nail polishes until settling on what Penelope called ‘The Look’. Then came the dress. It took all three of them to help you in it and lace it up, but the moment the last clasp was done, you felt a little different. It was silly, of course. You’d already tried the dress on. But something about wearing it now, having it on along with the right shoes and the veil, it all made it real.

Penelope started crying again. Even JJ got a little teary eyed. Emily only tore her eyes away to check her watch.

“Alright, ladies,” she said, beaming. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

The drive to the book store consisted of packing into Emily’s car, desperately trying to make sure the bottom of the dress didn’t drag. JJ rode in front while Penelope helped keep everything straightened out on you in the back, still having to dab her eyes every few minutes. They all had changed into their bridesmaid’s dresses and you were content with your choice. They all looked beautiful. You imagined what younger you would have thought, planning a wedding in kindergarten like the other girls in your class. And now, here you were.

With every stop light, your heart pounded more and more in your chest.

You were doing this.

You closed your eyes and took a breath.

You were doing this.

Aaron was waiting outside and, the second you saw him, everything stilled. Your big brother. Your protector. You couldn't imagine anyone else to be the one with you down that aisle.

With a final group hug, your three bridesmaids gathered to begin the procession. Derek and Dave were already inside, the ladder being the officiant. You still couldn’t believe he’d said yes.

Spencer was waiting.

You took another breath.

“Hey,” Aaron greeted.

You exhaled. “Hey.”

When you looked into his eyes, you almost broke to see the tears gathering there. There was a mix of emotions, from happiness, to grief that Haley couldn't share this with you, but the pride in his face beat out everything else.

“You look beautiful.” He barely got the words out, having to clear his throat to say it again. “You look beautiful, Y/N.”

He offered his arm.

You hooked yours through.

“Catch me if I fall?” You asked, voice starting to shake.

Aaron just chuckled and kissed your cheek. “Always.

The music began and the doors opened.

He hadn’t stopped fidgeting since he got there, no matter how many times Rossi told him he’d fray the sleeves if he kept pulling at strings. Spence couldn’t help it. Every minute he stood there was another minute everyone was watching him. It wasn’t a large group, of course, but every pair of eyes still made him twitch under his skin.

“Calm down, kid,” Morgan teased, straightening his own suit jacket beside him. He elbowed his side. “You’re just vowing yourself to one person for the rest of your life.” He chuckled. “Hotch will be your brother-in-law.”

“Will you shut up?” Spencer hissed, though his eyes were bright, even beneath the gazes of everyone else.

Then, their focus shifted to the open door.

First, Emily came through, a bouquet of lilac. Then, JJ with lilies. Penelope with orchids.

Spencer inhaled a silent gasp.

You stood at the end of the aisle, roses in hand, and more beautiful than anything he’d ever seen. Like every hero of every book he’d ever read, you stood with a strength he’d always wished he had.

He didn’t realize his eyes had teared up until Morgan put a hand on his shoulder, giving him a nod.

“You picked a good one, kid,” he whispered, seeming to get choked up himself.

You walked side by side with Aaron, gripping him like a life preserver. Everyone on either side of the aisle was standing, staring at you. All you could think was don’t fall, don’t fall, don’t fall. You regretted letting Penelope convince you to go with the stilettoes.

Meeting Spencer’s eyes made your knees almost buckle. Tears filled the corners of his eyes and yours mimicked them.

Aaron led you to the front of the store, in front of a big window that overlooked the park behind it.

Spencer could finally breathe again. “You look beautiful.”

“I should hope so,” you said, beaming. “This took forever.”

He smiled and leaned forward.

“Wait til the end there, Romeo,” Rossi chuckled.

“I still can’t believe you agreed to do this,” you whispered to your officiate.

Dave just smiled. “Anything for you, kiddo. You’ve earned all of this.” He put a hand on Spencer’s arm. “You too.”

You wanted to cry again but forced yourself not to so you could get through the beginning of the ceremony. Spencer never took his eyes off of you. It was like no one else was there. No one else in the world.

“The couple has prepared their own vows to each other,” Dave announced to the small crowd. He nodded to you. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Your nerves settled in again. You’d practiced, of course, but that didn’t make it any easier. The things you wanted to say, the things you wanted to tell him, it still didn’t seem like enough. There was still the terrible fear in the back of your brain that all of this would be taken away. You would wake up back on the floor in your mother’s house or in Aaron’s apartment, torn apart by the Reaper.

But fear was part of the deal. The price of letting yourself love was the possibility of losing it. The though alone used to leave you frozen, unable to want anything real in your life. Now, you couldn't think of anything you wanted more.

You just had to figure out a way to say that without making a fool of yourself in front of all these people.

Spencer grabbed your hand, giving it a reassuring brush of his thumb against your palm, a loving smile spreading across his lips.

You took a breath and began.

“I determined at a young age that I was going to marry a rock star,” you said, earning a laugh from the crowd. “I wanted the glamorous life of concerts and parties and award shows. I was absolutely certain this was the life I was going to have, so much so, that I forced my mom to get me tickets to a concert in the area. I didn’t even know the band, I just saw my chance to get the lead singer to fall in love with me. Never mind that I was twelve.”

You glanced down at the scar on your chest, left uncovered in your acceptance of it.

“At fifteen, I was convinced I was going to marry a hockey player.” With a deep breath, you let out a half-laugh. “That obviously didn’t go anywhere either.” You swallowed hard, looking at where your fingers intertwined. “My mother taught me that the whole world wanted to hurt me. My experiences in college left me determined to never let someone hurt me again. The only way I could do that was to not want anything from anyone. I focused on my career, I ignored friendships to the point of losing them. Haley asked me once where I saw myself in five years and the one thing that came to mind was ‘alone.’” Your voice caught in your throat to say her name. You heard Aaron inhale sharply. You kept going. “And then, one day, I couldn't reach a book on that shelf.” You pointed to the classic’s section behind Spence. “Luckily, there was a lanky literature nerd in the same aisle who grabbed it down for me. And for some reason, maybe it was Haley’s voice in my head, I asked him to coffee. Of course, after we started dating I found out he actually works with my brother, which was a whole other awkward story.”

This time, Spencer laughed, remembering that first night, sitting at that table in horrible silence.

Aaron remembered two, running a hand down his face.

“Doctor Spencer Reid,” you said, taking both of his hands in yours. “You taught me that being in love isn’t a weakness, but my greatest asset. My sword and my shield through everything.” You blinked back tears, but they fell anyway. “I know now what I want, even if it’s scary. It’s you.” You laid his hand over your scar. A promise. “Spencer, it’s you. A life together, in sickness, health, and everything else we’ve gone through.”

Finally, you wiped at the tears on your cheeks and smiled.

Behind you, Penelope was dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief.

Spencer looked over your shoulder at her and nodded.

“You’re turn,” Rossi whispered to him.

Spencer gulped.

“I, um-” He let his hands fall to his sides, fidgeting again. “I don’t actually have anything to say today.”

Everyone froze.

Morgan’s brows drew together.

Spencer wiped your tears away with his thumb.

“Because I already said it.” He looked behind you again. “Garcia?”

“Ready,” Penelope said.

At first, you didn’t understand, as the static started to play over the speakers. But then, the Spencer on the recording cleared his throat- a terrible coughing sound. And you knew.

“Hey Y/N,” he said. He sounded like he was trying not to cry. “I asked Garcia to make recordings for you and my mother just in case I… well, in case I’m not smart enough to find this cure.”

Your hand went to your lips to hold in a gasp.

Spencer never took his eyes off of you. “I know the last few months haven’t been easy. I guess our lives never have been. Not that I’m blaming you for anything. What am I saying? I thought this would be easier.” The recording paused for a long while. Then, “I am not a person who lets myself feel often. I use logic and rules and sense to guide me through life because that’s always been the safest option. If I let my brain take the lead, then maybe my heart will stay safe inside a case like a museum artifact. And you’ve broken through.” He huffed. “No, that doesn’t make sense either. Because it isn’t just my heart. My heart is just an organ. It doesn’t really mean anything. No. All of me is yours. My feet only want to follow you. My arms only want to hold you. My mind won’t let me think of anything else.”

Everyone in the entire bookstore seemed to be holding their breath, listening to every word.

The Spencer from the past continued.

“And I know it might do much good to say all of this now if I don’t make it out.” He coughed again, making you wince. “But I couldn’t die without you knowing how much you’ve changed me. I didn’t know I could love until I met you, Y/N. Not like this, at least. Not with all I am. I love you.” He took a trembling, slightly garbled breath. “I just needed you to know in case, I-” He cut off. “I have to go. Thanks, Garcia.”

The recording cut off.

Even Derek was trying to sneakily wipe tears away.

“Do you-” Dave cleared his throat, pretending like he wasn’t also crying. “Do you have the rings?”

Penelope and Derek stepped forward, each handing you the simple bands. You hadn’t wanted anything extravagant. It wasn’t the ring that mattered.

Spencer’s gentle, long fingers slid your band on and you did the same.

You looked at each other.

“Well, geniuses,” Dave teased. “Go on. Kiss.”

You wrapped his tie around your hand and yanked him down, pulling his lips to yours as his arms enveloped you. You didn’t know how long you stayed like that, lips moving against each other, holding each other close.

Derek let out a loud wolf whistle while the rest of the crowd erupted in applause.

You’d almost forgotten they were there.

When you pulled apart, your face was a vibrant pink... and so was your husband’s.

Everyone gathered in Rossi’s backyard, the smooth music lulling conversation to happy drills, string lights twinkling overhead like the stars that took over the sky. The team eagerly awaited the arrival of the new couple.

“Ten bucks they stopped back at their apartment for an early honeymoon,” Morgan whispered to Prentiss.

“I heard that,” Hotch sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Aw, is someone having a hard time accepting his baby sister is married?” Prentiss teased, nudging Hotch’s arm.

He tried to keep a stern face, but couldn’t help but laugh. “Remind me to fire all of you on Monday.”

“You’d miss us too much,” JJ chimed.

Rossi checked his watch. “They are running late.”

“Maybe Morgan’s right,” Prentiss whispered, just loud enough for Hotch to hear as well.

Or maybe he was wrong…

You hadn’t made it all the way to your apartment. Hell, you didn’t even make it out of the bookstore. There was a private study room where Spencer had finished getting ready and, well, things escalated from that kiss. Luckily, the owner was really into romance books, so she didn’t mind.

You could still see your name on the certificate. Your new name. You’d thought long and hard about what your decision would be. How you wanted to begin this next chapter.

“Are you ready, Dr. Reid?” You asked, lacing your fingers with his as you walked up the steps of Rossi’s.

Spencer just grinned, eyes glittering in the warm lights. “Lead the way, Dr. Hotchner-Reid.”

You couldn’t help but giggle. Did it sound a little ridiculous? Maybe. But for the first time, it felt like you. It felt like you weren’t just a remnant of what happened to you, sharing a name with the woman who’d defined your life for so long. It sounded like a new start.

Dave’s dining room was decorated to the nines in purple and gold balloons, banners, and flowers. A centerpiece on the table combined all of the bouquets from the wedding into one, beautiful, mismatched arrangement. All around it, appetizers were set out, each reminding you that you hadn’t eaten since breakfast. You snagged a spinach puff on your way outside.

Derek must have spotted you first, because the second the two of you stepped through the doorway, his voice boomed.

“Ladies and gentlemen, may I announce for the first time,” he called, “The Dr.s Reid.”

Everyone broke out in applause and you spotted each member of the team standing around the lawn, each beaming brighter than the last. Penelope, of course, had started crying again and she was the first to push through the crowd and throw her arms around both of you.

“I love you both so so much! And I love your love and-” She cried some more and hugged you tighter.

“We love you too, Penelope,” Spencer laughed, kissing the top of her head.

“I love you, but I can’t breathe,” you teased.

She yelped and pulled away quickly, checking not you, but the dress. “Oh good, I didn’t-” She narrowed her eyes. “Why is it so rumpled on the bottom?”

Spencer cleared his throat, his face turning pink.

“Maybe we should…” He motioned to the rest of the group waiting for you.

You hooked your arm through Penelope’s, keeping one hand holding his. “Come on, you two. I’m starving.”

You hadn’t wanted a head table, opting instead for circular tables throughout the lawn so you could weave in between them to spend time with everyone. The team, of course, sat together, Jack sitting with Aaron. The people from your work were there too, Sonia jumping up to give you a big hug when you went by.

“I’m so happy for you, Y/N,” she said. Sonia had been through so much with you, she’d seen you face your fears in more ways than one-including this.

“Thank you for being here.”

She pulled away, glanced at Spencer, and gave you a wink. “Take all the time you want for the honeymoon.”

“Sonia!” You exclaimed, muffling your laugh behind your hand.

“What?” She shrugged, looking at your husband again. “I would. But he isn’t exactly my type.” She turned back to her girlfriend and they both laughed.

Spencer just looked confused.

Even Dr. Sweets was there. When you first invited him, he gave you the whole spiel about ‘professional distance’ and ‘ethics’, but you reminded him that this was a big part of your recovery and you wouldn’t have gotten there without him. He had to be there to make sure you didn’t run away from the altar.

“I shouldn’t be here,” Dr. Sweets said. He smiled. “But I’m glad I am.”

“The line between personal and professional is kinda blurred in this group, so you fit right in.” You patted him on the shoulder and continued your mingling.

Spencer picked a seat at the table with the team and watched. He watched you smile and laugh and glow. Spence glanced down at his hand, at the band now on his finger. It didn’t feel real yet. He rubbed it with his thumb, spinning it around his finger. Then, he looked back at you and a feeling filled his chest that he didn’t know how to explain. More than joy, more than adoration. More than anything.

He wished his mom could be here, but the flight would have just made her more anxious. You had agreed that the two of you would fly out to Las Vegas to see her. But the letter in his pocket was enough for now. He read it this morning, while he was getting ready.

She said she was proud of him. It wasn’t about his achievements at work or the intellect they both coveted so much. She was proud of him for opening himself up to someone. Proud that he’d finally let the guard down he’d kept up since he was a kid.

Just thinking about it again made his eyes fill with tears all over again.

Dinner was served and you dug in.

God bless David Rossi’s cooking.

The squeal of feedback and the tapping of a mic caught everyone’s attention.

“I know you didn’t think you’d get out of this, too,” Derek’s voice came over the speakers. He came up behind Spencer and rustled his hair. “The two of you got your speeches at the engagement party, but the reception is for the wedding party.”

“Remind me why I made him my best man?” Spencer whispered to you.

Derek messed up his hair again. “Because I throw the best bachelor’s parties.”

“Ours was better!” Emily shouted.

“All talk. They’re all talk.” He made a talking motion with his hands. “And shut up, this is my speech.”

JJ, Emily, and Penelope all mimicked him mockingly.

“Alright, but in all seriousness, I’m here to talk about Spencer and Y/N.” Derek walked around the table to the platform designated for dancing. “I’ve known Reid for a long time now. This kid was a pain in my ass from day one. Smarter than everybody and he knew it. And thank god for that, because I don’t know what this team would do without him.”

His expression quickly changed from teasing to sincere.

“Over these last few years, Spencer Reid has become my little brother. He has my back. And that big brain of his has probably saved my ass more times than I can count.” Derek smiled at you. “And when he met Y/N, I knew he’d met the only person who could keep up with that mind. Y/N became a part of the team. She became family- and I don’t just mean because she’s related to our boss.” He gave you a quick, teasing smirk before his words caught in his throat, fighting back the emotion everyone was feeling. “The two of you have been through a lot. You’ve fought like hell to be here and now you get to enjoy it. So,” he raised his glass. “To Y/N and Spencer. The world isn’t ready for what you’ll accomplish together.”

“Y/N and Spencer,” the crowd cheered.

Derek gave both of you a hug before sitting down again. You thought that would be it. But then Aaron stood up.

Hotch cleared his throat and moved to the platform.

“I’m, um, obviously not Y/N’s maid-of-honor.”

The party snickered.

You watched him, holding your breath.

“But, unfortunately, Y/N couldn’t have her maid-of-honor here today.” He swallowed. “So, Garcia said I should speak in her place. Well, she insisted and it’s difficult to say no when she decides something.” Hotch shot her a look and Garcia grinned back. “I’ll do my best to say what I know Haley would say.” He cleared his throat and, for just a second, you saw his eyes lift up to the stars. Then, he looked back at you. “Y/N came into our lives after hers had been changed forever. And she hated me. For the first few days, she wouldn’t even speak to me. But Haley got through to her. The two of them were inseparable. I’d come home to movie nights with junk food, pillow forts in the living room, baking mishaps. They became sisters first. Eventually, Y/N opened up to being mine.”

Spencer laid a hand on the small of your back, helping you keep it together.

“I’ve had the privilege of knowing Y/N and Spencer closely for a long time. I watched them grow up in different ways. Y/N grew into the accomplished young woman she is today and I watched Dr. Reid establish himself as an agent, not letting his young age define him in the BAU. Seeing them now grow together has been the greatest privilege as both her brother and his supervisor.”

Aaron took a second, needing to steal himself for what he was about to say.

“Haley told me that she used to be worried. She didn’t want Y/N getting involved with someone from the BAU. She, of course, had first-hand experience of how hard it could be and she was worried that it would just drag up all of the things from Y/N’s life that she’d worked so hard to get away from.” He took a shaky breath. “But then she saw them together. I remember, she teared up when she said it, but Haley said ‘I’ve never seen her that happy. And that’s all I’ve ever wanted for her.’” He cleared his throat again, hiding the tears you caught a glimpse of. “I know that Haley would be so happy today. And wherever she is now, I know she’s smiling.” He extended a hand. “Y/N and Spencer.”

The crowd cheered again.

You didn’t wait for him to come back to the table, barreling up to the platform to throw your arms around him.

“I love you, big brother,” you cried.

Aaron held you tight. “I love you.” He let a tear finally fall. “Haley did too.” He looked over your shoulder at your husband. “She loved both of you.”

Once everyone was seated again, Dave took the mic. “Alright, enough of the mushy-gushy stuff. It’s time to dance.” He motioned to Penelope to begin her personally curated playlist. “And I believe the first has been reserved for our newlyweds.”

Spencer went still. “I don’t… I can’t really-”

Rossi cut him off. “Rules are rules, kid. Come on.”

“Don’t worry.” You took his hand, smiling. “I’ll lead.”

Claire De Lune played over the speakers, matching perfectly with the beautiful stars over your head and the bright moon hovering in the sky like a spotlight, shining down on you.

Prentiss leaned over to JJ. “They would pick Debussy for their first dance.”

JJ just beamed, watching the two of you make your way to the dance floor. “I think it suits them.”

“I don’t dance,” Spencer whispered.

“Just hold onto me, Dr. Reid” You draped your arms around his neck, pulling him close. He rested his hands on your waist and the two of you swayed, listening to the soft piano waft through the air like a calming breeze. “I can’t believe we did it,” you said quietly.

“That we got past our emotional barriers and fears and actually got married or we didn’t have anyone get shot or kidnapped or infected with a deadly disease on the way here?” He asked.

You laughed and pushed a mousy strand of hair away from his forehead. “All of the above?”

Spencer kissed you slowly, earning a round of cheers from your friends.

“I love you,” he said. “With all that I am.” He kissed the tip of your nose. “Even if your new name is a mouthful.”

You playfully hit his chest and the two of you continued the dance.

Spencer pulled you fully into his arms so that you moved to the song in each other’s embrace. The song faded and everyone joined on the dance floor. Looking into the crowd, Spencer froze.

Jason Gideon stood at the edge of the lawn. He met Spencer’s gaze and gave him a nod. A proud smile spread across his face. Gideon laid a hand over his chest.

More people gathered around and when Spencer looked again, Gideon was gone.

“Everything okay?” You asked, looking where he was staring, but seeing nothing but the string lights in the trees.

“Yeah,” Spencer breathed. He kissed you again. “Yeah.”

Eventually, the time came for you to dance with Aaron, finally letting your husband take a break. Penelope picked a Billy Joel song, which made you both smile. Lullaby. So when the first ‘Goodnight My Angel’ played, Aaron took your hand and wrapped an arm around your back, you placing one on his shoulder.

“Thank you,” you said. “For your speech. It was perfect.”

“I’d almost forgotten about that conversation,” he admitted. “But then Garcia asked me to speak and it all came back.”

“I wish she could be here.”

His eyes turned sad. “Maybe, in a way, she is.”

“Since when have you been a believer in the ‘great beyond’?”

Aaron just shrugged.

The song was starting to reach its end, the lyrics sinking into you.

Someday we’ll all be gone, but lullabies live on and on.

They never die, that’s how you and I will be.

“Spencer and I are going to start trying for a family,” you said suddenly.

Aaron’s eyes widened. “I didn’t know that was something you wanted.”

“It was for a long time, but I started to believe it was never something I could have. Like I was… corrupted. But Spencer has helped me see that isn’t true.” You sighed, “I don’t even know if I can. The doctors said it’s still possible, but after everything my body has been through-”

“You’re going to be an amazing mother, Y/N.” Aaron pressed his lips to your forehead. “Haley would say the same.”

Your bottom lip trembled through your smile and you nodded.

The music turned to an upbeat tune and the dance floor flooded once again, including Spencer while Derek dragged him back out to you.

“Come on, Pretty Boy, I know you’ve got some moves.”

“I really don’t, Morgan.”

“Come on, Reid,” Emily beamed. “Dancing terribly is part of the fun of weddings.”

“She’s got a point.” You took over from Derek, pulling Spencer into the middle of the dance floor.

The team gathered around you, each with more ridiculous dance moves than the last. Even Dave got in on the fun, doing the best moonwalk you’d seen yet. Your bridesmaids grabbed you for a line dance and Derek danced with you to ‘It’s Raining Men.’ Through all of it, you couldn't stop beaming. Spencer thought you looked even brighter than the moon.

After you were out of breath, you found him again in the crowd.

Surrounded by the people you loved, beneath a blanket of stars, you kissed your husband again, your new story just beginning.

#criminal minds imagines #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #dr. spencer reid #emily prentiss #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #jennifer jareau #david rossi #penelope garcia #matthew gray gubler #the in betweens

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starshinegarcia · 1 year ago

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𝐏𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐲

Aaron Hotchner x plus-sized FBI secretary reader

Or: Hotch meets JJ’s stunningly quirky younger sister.

CW: mentions of alcohol, tad bit sensuality

tags: @discotitsposts @cerisereids @missmitchieg

Diet Mountain Dew baby, New York City..

Once a year, when late May rolled around, when the sun peeks out from behind the seemingly permanent clouds, and the trees were in full bloom, the FBI held a company picnic. It was always huge- just because they’re FBI agents doesn’t know they don’t know how to grill a solid burger here and there. That being said, the BAU usually tried to make an appearance, but more than not they were out of town on a case. This year, however, it happened to roll around on a quiet day, a day when the office became stuffy with the early-summer heat and the agents became restless.

So Hotch knew as he came in, that his team would most likely beg him to accompany them to the picnic, adorned in sunglasses and tote bags filled to the brim with goodies. Garcia was the first to approach him, wearing a spotted sundress and a wide-brimmed beach hat, “Sir, the company picnic, do you want to come-” “No, thank you Garcia. I’m quite alright.” Discouraged, Derek takes her place, leaning on Hotch’s office door frame. “C’mon boss, it’ll be fun.” Hotch sighs defiantly, glancing to Rossi for help. “Are you going, Dave?” “You betcha. Made some caprese to share, if you’re nice. C’mon, Aaron. Loosen up.” The whole team was hanging on his every word, with even Spencer peeking into the corner of the bullpen to hear his consensus. Hotch thinks on it for a second, before nodding slowly and loosening his tie. “Alright, team. Let’s leave in 10.”

You weren’t even planning on going- I mean, come on, a company picnic? But, you figured there wasn’t a better chance to, one, get free food, and two, show off your new sundress as a newly single woman. Just a month prior, you had ended a pretty serious (yet toxic) relationship, and getting out there was “exactly what you needed” (according to your mom.) So, you slipped on the flowy, blue and green flowered sundress, admiring the way it fell on your curves and hugged your body. Smiling, you made some fresh guac and headed down to the park. A gentle breeze rustled your hair, and you shaded your eyes from the midday sun as you admired the freshly- bloomed cherry blossoms. Setting the bowl of guac down on a nearby table, you surveyed the crowd of people, your eyes landing on your sister, with her team nestled in a cluster of trees near the edge.

“JJ!” Grinning, you bounced over, and she turns around, smiling widely and bringing her arms out. “__! You made it, sunshine!” You hug her quickly and tightly, letting go and smoothing your dress down. “Of course I did. It’s not every day I get to spend time with my sister, an FBI AGENT, who got little old me a job here.” JJ smiles, a twinkle in her eyes. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Here, here, meet the team!” JJ offers, leading you by the elbow and introducing you one by one. Rossi shakes your hand firmly, Spencer gives you an awkwardly charming wave, and Emily brings you in for a quick hug (you’d met her before, being your sister’s girlfriend and, as of recently, fiance.) Garcia squeezes you tightly, and you get to talking with her for a while, as she chatters about the team, introduces you to Morgan (her boyfriend, of course), and you talk about where you both shop (most of the same thrift stores and boutiques).

Hotch, having been here mostly not of his own will, had found a shady corner and set his lawn chair up, cracking open a La-Croix and simply observing the rest of his team. He had always loved this time of year- the way the flowers start the bloom, and everyone seems just a bit happier when the sun is out. It was also Jack’s favorite time of year, because he could stay outside playing much later. His eyes drift over his team, meeting the gaze of JJ just as she turns around and greets- someone new. He watches as she hugs a shorter, blonde woman, wearing a long flowy dress and smiling like there was no tomorrow. Her hair fell in wavy locks down her back, and the sun was shining on her and accentuating her body in a way that made him lose his damn mind. Through some force, not his own, he finds himself standing up, gravitating towards her and JJ, eager to be introduced and feeling like a kid again.

You had just managed to escape Garcia, seeking a drink (preferably the alcoholic kind) when JJ grabbed your hand, “Sunshine, my boss wants to meet you.” You brace yourself for another old white guy, turning around and reaching your hand out. “Hi, I’m __, it’s nice to-” you trail off, stuttering as you lay your eyes on quite possibly the Greek god of male beauty. He smiles slightly, somehow sensing the effect he has on you and shaking your hand with a gentle yet firm grip. “Aaron Hotchner. I hear you recently got a job here.” “Just a secretary, y’know, nothing fancy like you.” “I’ll leave you to it.”

JJ giggles, with the same twinkle in her eyes as earlier as she joins Em at the drink table, leaving you sweating and stuttering in front of Aaron fucking Hotchner. “You know, I’ve heard a lot about you. JJ really likes talking about how proud she is of you.” You smile, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Actually, I’ve heard a lot about you, as well. Mostly how great of a dad you are.” He shakes his head, smiling. “She exaggerates. I’m simply doing the best I can with a great kid.” “Well, I admire you for it.” Hotch watches you, wondering if you’re chasing the same stomach butterflies as him. “So, Sunshine. Where’d that come from?” You flush slightly, leaning down for a second to grab a Whiteclaw from the cooler near your feet. “When we were growing up, JJ used to be a little.. Grumpy. But, being younger, I always had more energy, so our parents always called me sunshine and her rain. Even though we’ve both changed from that, I guess, it’s just a habit.” You down the WhiteClaw in seconds- damnit, you really were thirsty. “Well, it fits. Take it easy with those, yeah?” You scoff slightly at his protectiveness, grabbing a cup and dumping your new can in it. Hotch watches you with a careful eye as you wander off back to Garcia.

As the picnic progresses, Hotch keeps a careful eye on you. Okay, maybe you had a few too many drinks. Maybe Hotch memorizes the movement of your body, of your lips. All you know is at the end of the day, as the sun is setting, you look for him and find only a business card at the bottom of your empty cup, with a note on the back, “I could use a little sunshine in my life”.

Never was there ever a girl so pretty..

this probably sucks but I wanted plus sized secretary so here we go :)))

unapologetically jemily and penelope and morgan (porgan?? 😭😭 menelope???)

likes/reblogs/comments always appreciated!!

love,

e/a <3

#criminal minds #bau team #aaron hotchner #spencer reid #criminal minds hotch #cm fanfiction

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angelyuji · 2 years ago

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HEHEHHWHEE imagine the bau team hunting down a serial killer not knowing its their OWN PARTNERRRR imma use hotch as an example cuz dilf😫😫😩😩😩

no real warnings tbh just that reader is a serial killer

i think that he would literally never ever guess it was you. this unsub has been taunting the team, they'd get close and then, the MOMENT they think they're getting close... you're gone (kinda). cuz technically you're still around yk. you're going on dates with aaron, taking care of jack during emergencies, etc. but your serial killer hobbies are in hiatus.

aaron would talk about it with you too. he knows he's not supposed to tell you about the case, but sometimes he gets so frustrated with the case and you lend him an ear yk.

you hide it well, but every time he talks to you about the case. you feel giddy knowing how well you've stumped the great bau.

aaron would never suspect you. you're a great partner, a great parent, he loves you. i mean, every night he holds you talking about how much he loves you. you're the sunshine on his rainy day. all of this distracts you, keeps you on haitus for a long time maybe even permenantly. he tells you that he's planning on quitting the bau. that lets you relax, truly putting your hobbies to rest.

"i think i'm going to take the offer..." aaron says, leaning against the counter, watching you cook dinner.

"hmm? which offer?" you look over at him, in his tight shirt and baggy pants.

"to resign." he laughs and pushing his hair back with one hand. "i want to be here... with you and jack. i want to focus on being a father... and a husband." he looks away and you smile at his bashfulness.

"i'm happy with whatever decision you chose to make, aaron. you're stuck with me."

then he proposes, you're elated. every thing is perfect. you have an amazing fiance, an amazing (almost) step-son. the entire bau is there when he proposes. every single thing is perfect... except that aaron isn't quitting. he's staying at the bau with them. he's staying with them. even after he promised you that he'd quit.

"you told me... you told me that you'd quit." you pace around the living room.

"i know. i'm sorry, but the team needs me." aaron looks at you, eyes filled with guilt.

"we need you, aaron! me and jack! we need you." you feel tears roll down your cheeks.

"(y/n)..." he tries to reach out to you and you back away. he stops, hurt.

"i need some air." you leave, kissing jack good-bye.

you were gone for a week, and in that week, two people had died.

"something on your mind, aaron?" rossi put a hand on his shoulder. aaron sat in his office, staring at the picture of the three of you on a picnic.

"i'm not sure... since (y/n)'s been gone, two people have died and... i noticed this last time too." aaron puts his head in his hands.

"what do you mean?" rossi sits down.

"i-i'm not sure. last time too, we had a fight and they left and- and people died." the dots start to connect, but rossi shakes his head.

"aaron, you don't really think-"

"no. no, i'm sure i'm just imagining it."

"i think you should listen to strauss. the stress from scratch, the new unsub, everything..." rossi trails off.

"i know... i know, i'll think about it."

of course, aaron calls your parents and they say you've been with them the entire time. so he lets it go, but it stays on his mind even when you were back. you'd be sleeping in the same bed and he'd look at you and wonder... could you be a killer? but you'd pull him into a kiss and he'd fall for your warmth once more. you knew he had his suspicions, rossi told you himself. he said he was "worried" that you should "convince him to resign. it'll be good for the both of you". and you did just that. you moved up the wedding, you sent out the invitations, you did everything to distract him from his suspicions and work.

when you walk down the aisle, you see all his suspicions melt as tears fall from his eyes. you feel a grin creep up your face, you did it. you had him for yourself.

"i, aaron hotchner, take (y/n) to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part"

#like and reblog <3 #x reader #gender neutral reader #unsub!reader #aaron hotch x reader #hotch x reader #yandere reader #kinda #no real warnings #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner angst #back to my roots if you will

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14buddy22 · 2 years ago

Text

Lanterns

WC: 5.4K // Masterlist

A/N: This was a request, but I’m choosing to leave them anonymous. Fight me.

Warnings: Haley’s death, Shooting, Death, Minor Character Death!, Pregnancy, INFANT LOSS, funerals, tiny casket, this is sad, with a twist of fluff. Chinese Lanterns, major mourning and grief.

Being at the BAU came with a lot of good things, just as it came with it’s fair share of bad. But, in your life right now, you were living on a trail of good things. You met Aaron Hotchner at the BAU. He was your unit chief, however over time, you slowly became his best friend, his girlfriend, his fiance, and now you were his wife of a year.

Being with Aaron meant a lot. It meant you weren’t always his partner in the field, he was very over protective of you. He made sure you always ate food during a case, just as he would let you cuddle into him in the hotel room at night so you’d get the best sleep.

It also meant that you were his outlet just as he was yours. If he was getting overwhelmed, he’d ask to talk to you in his office and he would be on the verge of tears by how stressed out he was, and you were there to just calm him down and hold him if he did ended up crying.

You had a built in best friend at work when you got married. It was amazing. How many people could say that the person they work with is the love of their life. Not to mention that you also got a bonus son out of it. Jack was amazing.

You knew Jack since the day he was born. You had been working with the BAU for a year before he was born. You helped plan out Haley’s babyshower. It’s funny how things would work out almost 10 years later. When Aaron and Haley got divorced, you let Aaron come stay in your apartment as you had extra space that you weren’t using. You didn’t think anything would ever happen, that’s why when you offered for him to move in with you, he agreed to it, knowing that you had a boyfriend, and that eventually both of you would hae to sell the place and move on with your lives.

Except, what happened over time is that the longer you and Aaron became roommates, the more and more chances you had to fall in love with him, and for him to fall in love with you. As you had multiple conversations on what your relationship with entail, he was finally ready to go public.

Jack was very good with you. You were his favorite BAU auntie. You and him had always been close, and you think that’s because you were Aaron’s best friend. When Aaron had a budget meeting and he was with Jack, you watched him. If Haley brought Jack into the BAU, she always stopped at your desk, asking you to watch him so she could talk to Aaron.

However, just when you were about to go public with your relationship, Foyet happened. You watched how it tore Aaron apart. He was way more stressed out, as he should have been. Just then, when you thought you’d be in the safe space of your apartment, Foyet got to Aaron. You were going to go home with him, but you promised a girls night with Penelope, Emily, and JJ, thus you all decided to stay in the confines of Penelope’s apartment.

When you saw the puddle of blood in your apartment, your heart immediately dropped into your stomach. You saw the bullet in the wall, you knew that it was Aaron’s height. You were scared, not knowing where he was, if he was alive.

After finding him in the hospital, you watched the worst thing happen to him. He had to watch his son and his ex-wife go into protective custody. He wasn’t going to be in touch with his son for God knows how long. The weeks that came after were terrible, he didn’t want to do anything. Well, he did, but he knew he couldn’t give up. He wanted his son back in his life, unharmed, he wanted the same for his ex-wife. She didn’t deserve this, neither did his son.

You spent a lot of nights crying with Aaron. He didn’t show emotion with the team around, but for you, the flood gates broke lose. He could be vulnerable in front of you. You were glad you were in his life. You were glad he had someone. You wanted Jack back safe and sound. You wanted Haley back safe and sound.

So when the heinous day came around, it happened when you were in the car with Aaron and pulled up to his house. It was a race against time. You heard the gunshots. You didn’t know it then but that feeling means you just knew. You heard him say goodbye to his wife, now he was just praying that his son was still alive.

That day would forever be engrained into yours and Aaron’s minds. You hated that Haley lost her life that day, but she saved Jack’s life, there’s no doubt about it. Shortly after Haley’s death, some good things happened in Aaron’s life.

He had you. He realized that you were the one for him, so when he decided to propose one night, he knew that if you were to say yes, he’d never let you go, that he’d protect you of every evil thing in the world. Jack was so thrilled that you were going to marry his dad. Aaron knew that having you around had been a lot easier when they lost Haley. Jack had a “mother-figure” in his life, and it was someone he already knew was going to love him like his mom did.

And it was true, you loved him so much. He was your step son. He would come to you with questions, if he was scared, for extra cuddles. Jack was amazing. He was a great bonus son that you were so happy was in your life.

It wasn’t long after you and Aaron tied the knot that you and him started talking about having a baby. His biggest fear was that you and him would bring a child into the world, but that child not growing up with both parents, that child losing his mother or father due to the nature of their job.

It was a conversation you and Aaron had had multiple times. You knew that if you and Aaron kept talking about it, you would never be able to have kids. His doubts were always the topic of having conversations, you understood all the doubts he had, but if the baby you and Aaron brought into the world had two loving parents and Jack as a big brother, that baby would be very happy. You knew you just had to get Aaron out of his head, to show him that he was already an amazing father to Jack.

It wasn’t long after that conversation when there was a case the BAU had that involved a family. The family you ended up saving had a baby about a month old, a 4 year old, and a 7 year old. Very similar to the family you were going to have with Aaron. When Aaron saw you being so gentle with the baby and the two older kids, he knew right then and there he wanted you to be a mother to more of his children.

He saw the way you cradled the baby’s head and protected the baby from the mess that was being cleaned up of the unsub. He watched as you sat with the older kids and played a game with them while feeding the baby, waiting for the parents to come get them. He was head over heels in love with you, and seeing you with kids got him going. He wanted to give you a baby, if he was the parent that were to go first, he knew that Jack and any other children you may have would be in good hands.

A few weeks later, you found yourself going to the doctor with Aaron and finding out you were pregnant. It wasn’t a surprise, nearly a shock that Aaron could knock you up on the first try. You were in awe at the way he was already so in love with the little blob of what would be your baby with Aaron.

You began crying at the sight of Aaron and the fact that this was your life. Your best friend who became your husband who was now going to be the father to your child. You couldn’t wait to start telling your BAU family. You couldn’t wait to tell Jack. He’s been asking for a baby brother or sister ever since he got into elementary school. A lot of his friends have siblings who are younger than Jack’s age and so you know Jack would be ecstatic to hear that his Dad and Mom were going to be having a baby.

The preganncy was special. It was your first pregnancy, so you didn’t know what to expect. You had many friends who had been pregnant, but you were always prepared for the auntie role, not the mom role.

You decided to give Jack an ultrasound photo because he had a little nightstand that he had decorated with photos of Haley, you, Aaron, and his BAU family. You remember saying, “Hey Jack, daddy and I got you a new photo to add to your night stand! Do you want to see?”

You felt Aaron’s hand tighten on your stomach, as you reached down to give Aaron the gift. He opened it up and saw the picture of the ultrasound. He looked at you and Aaron with a puzzled look and said, “What’s this mom and dad?”

“Well, we wanted you to have a piece of your newest sibling on the table. What do you think?”

You immediately saw Jack begin to process the words that Aaron just spoke and his eyes immediately light up, asking the question of “this is my sibling?”

You were so happy that Jack was happy. You watched him race to his nightstand and place the picture next to you, Aaron, and Jack. Aaron kissed your cheek and whispered in your ear, “Told ya he’d be happy.”

Slowly as your pregnancy went on, Jack was fantastic. He was always giving you extra cuddles when Aaron wasn’t around. That’s when you found yourself around 22 weeks pregnant. Aaron basically told you that you were on desk duty, not letting you go into the field.

You got to spend more and more time with Jack, which was great. He was a mini-version of Aaron. He always followed you around the house, he never let you lift anything and if you needed something, he wouldn’t let you get up from the couch. He would always do it. It truly was learned behavior from Aaron. Aaron was the same exact way with you.

Jack was at school, you were at home, deciding to take the day off from the BAU. You found yourself more exhausted so you told Aaron you were taking the day off, try to get some house work done. By housework, you mean by just catching up on some of your favorite TV shows.

You had been feeling off since the morning, but you didn’t know what was going on. It wasn’t until you felt a gush of water come from your legs, your water had just broke. You were only 22 weeks, too soon to bring a baby into the world.

You got in the car, making your way to the hospital. You called Aaron, you didn’t want to freak him out, but you were scared. You don’t remember any of your friends going into labor this early. You were scared, you had every right to be.

“Honey, what/s going on?”

“So, um, my water just broke, I’m at the hospital. Can you, can you please come here.”

“Of course. I’m. I’m on my way, is our baby okay?”

“I don’t-I don’t know Aaron, but I’m scared, I’m getting ready to walk in. Please hurry.”

Everything felt like it was in slow-mo. You got into a hospital room, the doctor’s quickly hooking you up to a monitor and figuring out if your son or daughter would be okay. Nobody would tell you what would happen.

You just know that a frantic Aaron had burst into your room, quickly finding you and running to your side. He hadn’t felt so nervous or sick to his stomach since the day Haley died. He didn’t want the same outcome today.

“Any updates?”

“They’re just monitoring me. I’m scared, Aaron. It’s too early. Everyone knows that.”

“Let’s just take a deep breath. I’m here. We’ll get through this.”

After a few hours later, your contractions weren’t getting any better. It was making you nervous. Your nervousness never subsided, especially when the doctor came in with the NICU team, saying that your baby boy or girl was going to be born today.

After less than an hour of pushing, you finally heard the cries of your baby. Cries meant your son or daughter was alive. It would be the most joyous sound you heard that day.

“Congrats mom and dad, it’s a boy.”

You looked at Aaron and he kissed your forehead.

“We had a boy. We have another son. We did it.”

As your baby was getting cleaned up, the NICU team took him, while your OB/GYN was taking care of you. You knew your son wasn’t out of the clear yet, he was born at 22 weeks. That’s a lot earlier than most babies. His lungs were barely developed. It scared you.

Within the next couple hours, you met your son. He was beautiful. He was tiny, but beautiful. You and Aaron hadn’t thought much about names, but you two had some in mind. You thought a lot about what you wanted and took some name suggestions from Aaron.

“Jordan Hotchner. What do you think, Aar?”

“I love it. Jack’s going to love it too.”

When your baby was rolled into your room, the nurse explained skin to skin contact would be best for him. Aaron quickly shedded his dress shirt and picked up Jordan, sitting carefully on the bed with him next to you. As you two held your son, you were just missing Jack, who would be excited to meet his baby brother after school.

And you were right, when Jessica brough Jack in to meet his baby brother he was so excited. You couldn’t believe the sight that was happening in front of you. Jack had run to Aaron and immediately began crying at how excited he was that his little brother was here.

It brought a tear to your eye to see how complete your oldest son be so excited to meet the newest addition to the family. When Aaron let go of Jack, he carefully sat on the bed next to you and Aaron explained to him that Jordan was very tiny so Jack needed to be super, super careful with him. You watched as your three boys were on the couch, Jack being so gentle with Jordan. Aaron watching as the two boys he loved more than anything in the world be so gentle and loving with each other.

That night, as all four of you slept in the hospital, eveyrthing was just right. You had your sons and your husband by yourside. Everything was great. Life was good. You were thanking your lucky stars that your little boy was okay.

Until that lucky star crashed. You woke up early morning to the sound of the nurses rushing in, saying that they noticed something off on the baby monitor and were coming to check him out. You were scared. Not really knowing what was happening. When you reached over for Aaron, he just held you. He was scared too, but he knew he had to be there for you. If he was scared, he knew you weren’t any better.

It was only a little later, after Jack left for school with Jessica that the doctor came in. You couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. You didn’t want to believe it. This had to be the biggest punch in the stomach known to mankind. You and Aaron wanted a to have another baby, and now that Jordan was here, you wouldn’t be able to raise him into a sweet young man that you envisioned for him.

The “I’m sorry, there’s nothing more we can do except monitor and keep him comfortable” is one of the worst things you could ever here, and you never want to hear it again. You wouldn’t wish it on your worst enemy.

How were you going to survive this? What were you going to do? This had to be your fault. You couldn’t create a home in your body and your son couldn’t survive the outside world just yet. It had to be your fault, right?

As you sat with Aaron in the nicu, just watching your son, he held you in his arms as you began to cry for what seemed like the 100th time that day.

“I’m a terrible mother, Aaron. I-I couldn’t even keep him safe, couldn’t keep him healthy. Our son is going to die because of me.”

“Hey, hey. No. No. It’s not your fault, you can’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault, honey. Listen, let’s just make what time he has left some of the best moments we’ll remember with him. Getting to hold him for the first time, hearing him cry. Watching Jack interact with Jordan for the first time. Jordan knows how loved he is. We still have him here, maybe there’s a miracle somewhere. The world owes us something good, don’t you think? We’ve been through enough trauma. Maybe Jordan’s going to be okay.”

You didn’t have the strength to argue with him. You didn’t have the strength or the heart to tell him he’s wrong and that Jordan wouldn’t be okay. Even if he were to survive the next two weeks, it would still be a long way until he’s out of the clear to go home. You couldn’t fathom a life without Jordan now that you had a small glimpse of it with him in your family. You couldn’t begin to even THINK what you were going to tell Jack. Jack was 7 years old and has already experienced more loss in life than anyone 3 times his age.

You didn’t know what to think. Jordan was still alive in your life. You couldn’t start prepping for a life without him just yet, you haven’t had any time to experience much life with him. You didn’t think there was any way to imagine a life without your child. You didn’t want to lose him. Not yet. You wanted more time.

The next few days were awful. You were discharged from the hospital but you weren’’t going home with your baby. As Aaron helped you into the apartment, you couldn’t help but breakdown crying.

Your son was still alive, but you were crying as if he was gone already. You never imagined that you’d have to come home someday without your baby. That instead of planning a little get together with your family and friends to meet the baby, you and Aaron would have to plan a funeral. You couldn’t begin to imagine the size of the casket he’d be in.

Over the next week or so, you and Aaron spent every minute you could at the hospital. Aaron decided that it was best if he tried to explain to Jack what was going on, so while you stayed at the hospital with Jordan, JJ came and relieved Aaron while he took Jack home to explain what was happening.

You and Aaron talked about it, and you just weren’t ready to have that conversation with Jack. Aaron knew what headspace you were in and knew it wouldn’t be good for you either, especially when Jack would have questions. You weren’t able to answer his questions and Aaron understood.

After that, the BAU constantly came and checked in, one of them always staying with Jack when needed. Will had been bringing Henry over more and more for Jack in hopes that it’d keep Jack’s mind off things.

You were glad you had a loving family. You were happy the BAU brought you something good of the additional family members and their endless amount of love and support. As you and Aaron stayed in the hospital the next couple days, you soaked up as much time you could with Jordan.

Only a few hours later, the doctor had come in to tell you that Jordan’s lungs were getting weaker and that he didn’t have much longer.

You and Aaron sat on the hospital bed, holding Jordan in your arms, as close as you could to the both of you.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t give you a longer life, Jordan. Just know you’re one of the best things to happen to me, your daddy, and your big brother Jack. We love you so much.”

The tears wouldn’t stop flowing from your eyes. You felt Aaron take a deep, shaky breath and kissed your cheek. He pulled your body closer to him and you passed Jordan to Aaron. You know that if Aaron never got to hold him in his arms again, it would ruin him.

Aaron held Jordan against his chest and it amazed you how his hand was the same size as Jordan. Your baby boy was tiny, he wouldn’t grow any more than he was born. It hurt your heart. You hated seeing Aaron upset, you hated knowing that your baby boy was in the final hours of his very short life. You hated that you couldn’t do anything about it.

What kind of sick world was this?

As you and Aaron both held your little boy in your arms, you watched him take his last breath. Sobs overtaking both of your bodies as your little boy, os full of life, was now just a lifeless body.

You didn’t want to let go of him. You held him and when the nurses came to take him, you tried to tell them just one more minute. You weren’t ready to let him go. If you let him go, it became real.

When the nurse was finally able to take your son, you couldn’t help but grab onto Aaron even tighter. How were you now going to go home and tell Jack that his little brother wasn’t here anymore? How were you going to survive this?

“What do you want to do? We can go home, we can pick up food, we can go to your parents’ house, we can go anywhere but here.”

“I want to go see Jack. He-He needs to know, Aaron. I just want to hold our one little boy that we still have.”

“Okay. Let’s go. Let’s go.”

Spending the rest of the night with Jack, just being vulnerable and open with him and Aaron was a part of the healing process you didn’t know you needed. You didn’t need an explanation when you burst into random tears. Aaron didn’t need an explanation when he just wanted to hug you and never let you go. The team didn’t need an explanation when Aaron texted Rossi the devastating news and that you guys needed time off and time alone, not up for visitors just yet.

The next few days went by in a blur. You had to go to the funeral home with Aaron, pick out a casket for your little boy. That’s something you never wanted to experience. You know, with your line of work, other families had to experience it, you just never thought your family would be one to experience such a small casket.

The funeral went by in a blur. You just remember crying more than anything. You had your parents hold you when Aaron couldn’t. Aaron spent a majority of the time talking to everyone who had shown up. You just weren’t ready for a conversation yet. It also made you think that people thought you were a horrible mother. Deep down you knew you weren’t, you knew you would blame yourself, but you couldn’t help it.

After the funeral, you, Jack, Aaron, and the BAU family decided that they needed to get you all out of the house and decided to treat you to dinner. Aaron’s hand never left your body the entire night. He always had his hand on you, whether it was in your hand, on your leg, your back, over your shoulder, he was always touching you, trying to comfort you, trying to ground you to reality.

You and Aaron took a month of leave from the BAU. You knew they were down two agents, he’d have a lot of work to come back too but you two needed to be with each other, needed a break from the world and just be with each other.

During your time, you slowly were getting better. Of course you would never forget Jordan and the pain of losing him will never be easy, but when you thought about him, you would smile, knowing you gave him the best life you could for the time he was on Earth with you, Aaron, and Jack.

What you didn’t expect on your time off from the BAU was your BAU family stopping over all at once, bringing over lanterns. Reid has his fact explanation about Chinese lanterns being lit and you tuned him out, just soaking in the time with your extended family. You wanted to do this. Everyone was coming together for Jordan.

As you all gathered outside to light the lanterns, you and Aaron lit one together with Jack and you all carefully let it go into the sky. Part of you felt a weight lifted off your shoulders, knowing that doing this would give you a happy memory of your son.

You just hoped that you were making your son happy, for the amount of time he kenw you, he hopes he knows how much love you gave him, how you would have give him anything he needed if that meant you had to go first, how he knows he was loved so much by you, Aaron, and Jack, and of course his BAU aunties and uncles.

As you leaned back into Aaron, he kissed your cheek and wrapped his arms around you. There was hope that things would get better as you watched the lanterns be delivered to your baby boy. You knew you and Aaron would be okay. You knew Jack would be okay. Uou knew someday when you thought ofJordan, you wouldn’t cry, you would smile and be proud of your son, and how hard he fought to live on this world for two weeks.

**Five Years Later**

Sitting around the table with Jack, your twin sons, Jason, Jasper, and your newest addition, Josie, you couldn’t help but think about Jordan and how he would’ve been 5 years old today. You miss him everyday. He’s always a part of your life. The best picture that Jack has on his nightstand and you have framed in yours and Aaron’s bedroom is a pic that Penelope took. The night the BAU came over to light the lanterns. Penelope snagged the picture of you, Jack, and Aaron sending them up to the sky.

Jordan was always with you. Jack may have not gotten a lot of time with Jordan, but he was a great big brother to Jason, Jasper, and Josie.

“So, what are we doing today, mom? Dad?”

You looked over at Aaron as he was rocking her to sleep. Aaron smiled and began talking.

“Well, your aunts and uncles are going to come over to hangout with us and spend some time with Josie, and then tonight, we’re going to say hello to Jordan. We’ll get Josie in on our tradition.”

“I think that sounds great, Dad. Can I tell you guys something?”

You looked at Jack, eagerly nodding so he could tell you whatever is needed. You watched as Aaron shifted in the chair a bit, letting Jack know he had his full attention.

“I think Jordan is with us all the time. I know I was young but it feels like yesterday I got to hold him for the first time. I absolutely loved being his big brother, even if it was only for two weeks. But, I think he sent Jason, Jasper, and Josie to us. He’s with us when we light the lanterns every year for his birthday. He would be so proud of us. I just know he’s looking down on us right now and seeing how happy we are with our family and how much we miss him.”

You didn’t miss the way Aaron had moved to stand and make his way over to Jack. Aaron was proud of his son. That was his first born. His little boy that he had with Haley. You stood up, too. This was the little boy you held in the hospital for the first time after Aaron and Haley held him.

You took Josie from Aaron’s arms and watched as Aaron wrapped his arms around Jack. Jack reached out his other hand and you amde your way with some of your favorite boys. The twins got off their seats and came to hug you all as well.

“I love you, Jack. Jordan is so lucky to have you as his big brother. Just as the three kids are so lucky to have you as their big brother now. You’re the best big brother in the world. You’re a better big brother than I ever was to uncle Sean. I’m so proud of you.”

You wiped the tears that had begun to fall from your eyes at the sentimental moment that was happening in your kitchen.

Later that evening, as you all were standing outside, you grabbed the lanterns and knelt down next to the twins, letting them “help” you hold the lantern. You told them to wave Hi to Jordan and tell them they loved him.

As your family stood there, watching the lanterns fly into the sky, thinking of how Jordan should have been 5 today, it made you realize how lucky you were that even after the loss of Jordan, you were still able to have three more kids who were living their best life.

As you kissed Aaron, he wiped a tear from your cheek. You and him had been through a lot, the loss of a child takes a toll on a family. But, through communication, counselors, you both got through it. You certainly knew you couldn’t replace Jordan with more kids, that’s why when you found yourself pregnant 8 months later, you were shocked to say the least. To find out it was twins was an even bigger shock. You two weren’t trying and twins didn’t run in the family. When Josie came around, you were trying to get a little girl from Aaron and you think somehow Jordan knew that his dad needed a little girl.

Life has been rough, but if it weren’t for Aaron, your kids, and the BAU family, you never would be able to make it through. They give you strength for getting up everyday and every morning when you wake up, you always think to yourself “how am I going to make Jordan proud and be the mom he should have had.”

Getting the kids in bed that night, you kissed them all and then made your way with Aaron onto the couch. As he held onto you, he hugged you and said, “I know Jordan wasn’t in our lives for long physically, but he’s with us everyday. He’s lucky to have us as our parents. I know losing him was hard and we have to go the rest of our lives without him, but for the short time he was physically here, we gave him every ounce of love that we could give him, and I just know that’s what he remembers about us.”

“I’m so lucky to have you in my life, Aaron Hotchner. I wouldn’t want to go through this life with anyone else. Thank you. I love you.”

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