#i am so irrationally annoyed by this
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I am SO MAD that Murderbot book 6 takes place before Murderbot book 5. Should it matter? No, not really, but I personally would have liked a big ol' warning so I could have read them in the chronological order. I don't know why it is bothering me so much but it IS.
It's like 'But I ALREADY KNOW what happens!!'
(Maybe it's being neurospicy. maybe it's a quirk of personality.)
#currently reading#Murderbot#ashen rambles#i am so irrationally annoyed by this#and am annoyed at being annoyed#i had been really enjoying this and now am having stupid issues
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I am. Going to block every single mother fucker that puts a blazed post on my dash I swear to god
#it makes me so irrationally angry#like yes 1 why the fuck are you giving your money to tumblr so five more people can see your instagram photo#and 2 if I was meant to see a post ut would be devinely sent for me by my moots and those I follow. gtfo#the only time.I hope whether I press the block button they feel an uncomfotable sting in their ass to know how annoyed I am
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😬
#random personal stuff#I'm a little nervous at work today#got an email from collection development asking what was taking so long to order books#literally a day after I had a talk with my boss about The Concerns#CDL seems a bit annoyed possibly and kind of passive-aggressive#so I am awaiting instruction on how to respond#but yikes this is not great for the anxiety#(I can hardly reply with the actual reason which is: I haven't ordered them yet because of Concerns)#anyway if you think of it please pray for me that I will not irrationally feel like I'm being hunted for sport today#thank goodness I'm working in the evening and thus will have limited time today around this guy
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cant sleep … plagued with thoughts.. overstimmed… also starving… time to scroll tumblr till i have to go to class :,((
#my thoughts#i slept like 3 hours but my roommate kept moving and it bothered me where every movement made me irrationally angry#and i keep waking up and having immediate brainrot lfjkfnfjnf so its fun but also not bc im literally SO drained pleasssseee shut up brain#like baby i have a presentation tomorrow at 8:30AM and i have to do a whole reflection paper#go to fucking sleeeeeeep#and the worst part is i FORGOT to eat . before bed . cuz i was too tired and said fuck it ill eat in the morn#which is horrible bc now im like. starving and gross bc i also didnt do anything i kinda just collapsed JFKDNDKDN#but i dont wanna get up. because. um. four am and i dont wannnnaaa eat.i waanaa eat in the morning#so ive just been holding stan bunny close and thinking thoughts while actively trying to sleep JFKDNFKDJD#anyways. Im a functioning human person!#: D !#GggfrRRRAGGhggh#so annoying bc i usually can sleep on command like its nothing lmfao#but i have too many things on my frickin mind i cant shut it up pensive#anyways THIS IS A LONG TAG THING NSJFJDKFJD UHHHHH runs away#DELETE LATER????
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every day is just. i open tumblr.app. i see the worst most oversimplified sandpapered nuance-less dc comics take imaginable. i spend several minutes staring at it debating whether it's worth arguing over (it never is). i sigh, shake my head in resignation and close tumblr.app
#imagine how tired i am#i wasn't even a batjokes related cold take this time#i'm used to those at least#what is it w j/son fans and the bizarre attitude that he did absolutely nothing wrong and is entirely innocent and blameless and 100% the#victim (post-resurrection i mean)#like don't get me wrong i adore him he's my baby boy and one of my favorites#but like did you all just collectively forget about the. y'know. severed heads? and other assorted crimes?#fuckin watering it down to huhuhu bruce bad#tearing my hair out you're missing the point you're missing out on the nuance and the tragedy#i'm going to bite . someone#probably deleting this later bc i'm like#clinically conflict avoidant but it's 11 am and i haven't slept yet and I'm just so. irrationally annoyed over this#it's probably the sleep deprivation yeah i shoudl probably go to sleep
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Can someone please either validate me or send me to the Corner of Shame? This is very silly but I'm wondering.
So. I was talking to my sister the other day about movies and such, and she told me of one she recently watched with this one actor. And I casually mentioned how much I hated him. Not in a "he's a bad actor" or "he's a bad person" way. Nothing to do with whether I find him attractive or not. Just in a "he looks the most punchable guy on earth and I have this irrational rage against him" way, to the point that I just can't watch movies with him without being annoyed.
My sister looked at me like I was crazy because, "what do you mean you hate the guy". And I told her yeah? That's normal? Don't you have at least one person you can't stand for no reason?
Sister was like 😬😬😬 No??? Which is wild to me, because I could easily name 50 (which I did - not 50 but we were getting close to 20 before i got too annoyed lmao).
Now she thinks I'm slightly insane (/j) (I made myself angry and may have referred to a few individuals as "stupid" and "obnoxious"), and I kinda don't believe I am the only person alive who feels this way. But also she's an incredibly empathetic extrovert, while I'm a very low empath socially anxious creechur so. There's that?? I guess ?? Idk.
Can anyone relate to this? Or am I the weird one?
Also wait. Little disclaimer: I am not generally a violent person AT ALL. Do i get annoyed and angry easily? Yeah. Do I feel like bitch slapping someone right across their stupid face? Yeah, sometimes, sure. Do I do something about it? Not really.
I can be real bitchy and extra sarcastic and petty SURE, but that's the most I'll do if I am legitimately angry. Mostly I just go to my room and cry 🥺 (crying when angry yes it me). So yeah. Before yall think I have unsolved anger issues.
#if you're curious. the guy in question is Thimothée Chalamet#look. from what i've seen he's good at his job and he seems a genuinely nice guy#nothing against him at all like. you go timmy 🙂👍#i do however have an illogical boiling rage against him#i don't know what it is but i genuinely feel like punching his face everytime he pops up#maybe in another universe we were arch enemies. maybe i was his school bully. maybe HE was my school bully idk#obviously i would never do anything like that but if there's one person that looks like it could use a wedgie is him#and don't get me wrong. i DO feel about about it cus it's not like i'm choosing to be irrationally angry#and this goes for a bunch of other people#i just!!! 😡😡😡#seeing him (as in his vibe and general presence. nothing to do with physical appearance)#is the equivalent of trying to use cling film while it keeps sticking to itself#you know that one family guy scene with Peter and the cling wrap?? YEAH. THAT. genuinely so annoyed#i've always assumed this was a common thing. as in. there's always at least one person that gets on your nerves for absolutely no reason#but i guess maybe not???? *am* i a hater???#and btw this ONLY happens with either celebrities (in various degrees)#or people irl i've had some close proximity to <- and in this case it's always justified. i don't generally hate irl people out of nowhere#(okay there is ONE person in specific BUT i do feel slightly justified IMO. and in any case i always make sure to be as nice as possible)#(because poor girl didn't really do nothing wrong. i just have never vibed with her. i tried!! but yeah)#idk where i'm going with this lmao i might just ending up deleting it#whatever. don't worry guys you're all safe i love you very much and wouldn't slap any of you (unless asked you little freaks 👀)#darya talks to herself
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kind of annoys me sometimes how I can happily listen to my roommate explain the entire plot of whatever she's currently into but when it comes to my interests she can only listen for a few mins before wordlessly walking out of the room
#ive only slept 4 hours and its a sunday so im probably just cranky and getting irrationally annoyed idk.#but i wanted to talk abt revenant gun bc im enjoying it and havent gotten to discuss it w anyone :-(#i dont wanna post on here bc i dont wanna see spoilers and i dont have anything to say that other fans would find particularly interesting#ik half the arcs of the veilguard characters despite the fact ill never play it bc i like listening to her + hearing her opinions#but damn i guess she doesnt gaf shes got better things to do. im not being fair i get we jusr socialise differently n thats fine.#and ik its not true but sometimes i feel like she doesnt like being around me very much bc shes always halfway out the door#and she doesnt suggest we watch shit together anymore n has turned me down the last few times ive suggested it#but ik shes doing shit w other ppl shes always calling n playing games n stuff w other friends so well maybe its a little true#and she acts so strange around me sometimes like she'll move to the other side of the room if i go open the fridge or whatever#like damn girl im not gonna fucking bite u. whats up with the constant 5ft distance. bc u dont ever do that with other friends just me.#and then it pisses me off when it sort of comes up as a side thing to smth else bc it ONLY ever comes up around other ppl she'll never#bring it up directly with me and she'll blame it on me as if we havent had this conversation multiple times where ive explained exactly#why im weird abt shit sometimes and where my boundaries are and what i would like and then nothing at all changes#like last time she brought it up around another friend she was like oh well we can hug more if u want like no we fucking cant bc u act#like we're magnetically repulsed u hate me being in ur space and only tolerate it when we're around other ppl which is why it makes ME#uncomfortable when she does try to be physically affectionate or whatever bc she 100% exclusively does it in front of others#like man u dont have to put on a fucking performance??? or even worse do it just bc u feel guilty abt leaving me out i hate being pitied#even if ik i very obviously do get hurt at being left out. but thats my problem man i would never fuck w someone elses boundaries#i hate hate hate when ppl have inconsistent conditional boundaries and never communicate what the fucking conditions are so theyre#constantly moving the benchposts around and acting unpredictably like how am i supposed to know where they are!!!!!! please#snd then so embarrassing to pointedly say its bc of MY behaviour in front of someone else like oh ok. u couldnt have told me this before.#in private so we could actually communicatr. sorry this has gotten so off track im feeling so gross this morning and everything is#frustrating me im so tired i feel nauseous ughhhh#okay well anyway. got my list of tasks lets just focus on this shit instead before i spend yet another sunday miserably ruminating#.vent#im not actually mad at her or anything like i said we just socialise differently we have different incompatible flavours of autism#and thats not her fault but its just so frustrating that we cant seem to communicate very well. i think im allowed to be frustrated#anyway yeah sorry im leaving it im leaving it. i should go polish my boots before i shower
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once again sorry to everyone for bringing this to your dashboards. but some of you are like, genuinely delirious. not even in a funny way. & i hope you die. i hope we both die. hand in unlovable hand etc etc
#Just so fucking bizarre to me how people can be Like This. there has to be something so wrong with your brain on a fundamental level#i can’t even laugh about this or anything because i genuinely feel pity for these people. it’s so sad to me how you’re gonna be like 20#and then go in a niche tumblr community and create drama over Nothing. over Thin Fucking Air#like do you not have a life? do you not have college? or a job? doesn’t it get tiring? don’t you ever feel ashamed about all this#and the fact that they go and complain about the shipping and the ‘fandombrained’ people as well…. oh my god#how are you going to be TWENTY. and DO THAT. are you seriously sick. ? do you need help#just say you are homophobic and that you hate kids and go. it’ll save everyone a bunch of time for sure#anyways. as someone who has been a rain world fan since 2018. i love you embracing canon. i love you changing canon. i love you disregarding#canon entirely. i love you ships that make sense in canon & that make absolutely zero sense at all. i love you fancharacters that don’t#follow canon rules. i love you ‘cringe’ fancharacters and self inserts. i love you self shipping. i love you oc x canon shipping.#and i love you taking inspiration from designs. i love you community & i love you artists & i love you art#i love you borrowing elements and being inspired and referencing something because you liked it.#are fandoms perfect? GOOD GOD no. is every Fan perfect? no. am i also sometimes annoyed or irrationally pissed off over a ship that#i think is stupid and is illogical. Yes! i’m only human! but i can still love and appreciate the whole CREATIVITY of it all. and the whole#Fun that people are having. i love you having fun. if i don’t like it or if anyone else doesn’t like it they can just Cope#instead of hateposting about it on main and indirectly bullying people who are most likely children. or lgbt. or both#anyways. please continue doing whatever you want. The world is your oyster and you only live on earth once#everyone else can fuck off
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My ass was trying so hard not to jump up and down with glee playing yttd with my sister and getting to the shin reveal I was like MY GUY MY FUNNY LAD MY SILLY RABBIT
#the klock keeps ticking#yttd#its like i cant get ahead of myself when talking about him cuz theres still a lot not revealed by the end of ch2 but STILLLL#i was keeping my opinions on characters pretty neutral this whole playthrough though my bias towards gin and kai was very apparent lol#and i did start screaming in agony reliving my worst nightmare joe dying#i dont think my sister was nearly as torn up about it as i was though like god ill still never get over it#the first time i played i actually gross sobbed like maybe i was just sleep deprived but i was inconsolable literally never cried that hard#but yeah we did the second main game today and i was like#‘not trying to persuade your vote but heres one million reasons why we should let shin live ahaha’#i dont think she was very happy with her vote aldnks#but yeah i really am gonna be sooo annoying next time we play im literally gonna bring pages of shin analysis with me that i can gush about#it is an interesting thing this character cuz to me like everything about him is so clear like even from the beginning i just didnt buy#the idea that he was genuinely an asshole i knew there had to have been something more going on#and idk if ive made it clear guys…but hes exactly like me guys hes just like me fr#his story hits so hard it feels like my own self insert which is weird cuz obviously thats not true#but like i feel like its either you get it or you dont and if you dont understand exactly what this character feels cuz you feel it yourself#i feel like so much of him just wont make any sense to you#maybe im just being pretentious idk but like if you cant relate to his abuse and just#very blatant bpd then I feel like youll just judge him on how good or badof a person he is#like it just doesnt feel like itd hit in the same way like when i see this character talking about being hopeless and the way his trauma#makes him act irrationally like god it just clicks so hard it makes so much sense and i can physically feel it through the screen#I MAY BE FERAL ABOUT THIS CHARACTER TO AN ABSURD DEGREE SHHH#basically what im getting at is i feel if i dont over explain everything about this character to other people i fear they just Wont Get It#and that they will be judgmental which idk i guess makes me defensive#anyway yeah i just enjoy getting to re experience the spiral this guy has given me and i will be thinking about it a lot tonight
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wish i could have a normal and fun relationship w ouat (like so many other people do) as a show that was very important to me when i was young and therefore riddled w nostalgia and also has a lot of silly unserious vibes but unfortunately my opinions are too strong and deeply ingrained in me and generally unpopular and it makes it very hard to engage w most content abt it sjkhfjk
#teresa talks#been watching a lot of ouat yt videos lately (bc there’s been so many posted lately???)#and going into the comments is always a nightmare bc it’s either filled w love for a character/relationship i hate or filled w hate for a#character i love#MOSTLY it’s the hate for a character i love part#and like obv i know that will be the case bc i know what’s popular and what’s not in this fandom 😂😂#it’s just hard for me to not get irrationally angry sjkhfjk#i want to hear people talk abt a show that is silly and fun and nostalgic for me!!!! i want to see other people talking abt their#thoughts/experiences!!!!!!#it’s just frustrating that i cant let myself have fun bc i keep getting annoyed when people disagree w me sjkhgjk#idk if any of this makes sense i just needed to ramble lmao#i am unfortunately deeply unwell abt this show in a way that is not always fun sjkhgjk#and am also deeply aware this is a Me Problem this has nothing to do w what other people say/think idc if you have diff opinions than me i#just need to get over myself 😂
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one of those days again (thinking about philip library of ruina)
#very insane incoherent ramblings#i want this man out of my brain so bad (i love him)#i will get irrationally angry over anyone who calls him a coward or annoying or stuff like thatHE HAS ANXIETY YOU BITCH!! OHHHMY GOD#i haven't seen it happen a lot but i am going to kill people over it#sorry. anyways he's just like me for real (not a good thing but whatever)#i have a lot of thoughts about him
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time to play a game called: is everything horribly wrong with my life or is my blood sugar just low
#melon rambles#normally when I'm irrationally annoyed/judgy of everyone around me it's an indicator that I need to eat something#but I had a pretty good lunch and don't feel hungry so my brain is like 'well maybe you're just a horrible judgmental person?'#but somehow that feels like maybe not the most objective answer#so I am going to trust that I am not in fact a horrible constantly irritated judgy person as my default nature#and I am going to eat some applesauce and journal#and hope that at least one of those things gets to the bottom of this
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This might be just my jealousy speaking (it totally does), but the polls thing frustrates me irrationally because I fear that by the time I get them, they will be run to the ground.
#it's already starting with the vanilla extract thing#and i irrationally feel like a school girl being left out from something i know i'd be great at#which is an illusion because i will definitely be annoying with polls#i just want them so much ok#but i fear by the time i get them#they will be old news and already overused#not sure why i am invested so much to rant about this but i am cranky today#tumblr polls
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I literally need to complain abt everything on here or I’ll die
#writing this on the plane so will probably release from drafts when we land#but yeah#um so the guy next to me on the flight is so fucking annoying#listening to whatever bullshit is on his phone out loud … havent we suffered enough#um what else.#the really expensive makeup that my aunt bought me for once was like ten shades too light#bc she got me and my sister the same shade… in what world…#I was serving clown#it’s a foundation but ig I’ll use it like a concealer#managed to make it look normal after ages then my cousin was like ‘take it off’ 🙃#but it’s crazy tho bc it makes it look like my skin is perfect…#maybe my makeup skillls are improving after watching reels tho that is also a possibility#um what else. girl I am sooo tired#I’ve managed to sleep in like 5 minute increments on the flight#I have not slept in like . um.#might have been more than 24 hrs by no#but I’ll sleep well when I get there hopefully#bc it’s 3 hours ahead .. meaning you have to sleep earlier and wake up earlier… my nemesis#guys I’m so irrationally annoyed at this man next to me .. could you not have been a handsome azeri boy my age 🫠🫠 (delusional)#my illegally downloaded music is serving me well#there’s 3 more hours to the flight and I’m on 70% charge#so 🫡 just have to hope we make it#also have podcasts downloaded so will pursue
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despite my reservations, i am starting to get invested in lone star now, just a bit
#i really love marjan#and tk#pretty much everyone else im feeling very neutral towards#apart from owen and michelle who are both irritating me a lot#that was expected though i am irrationally greatly irrated by liv tyler and rationally greatly irritated by rob lowe#also this show is SO american#like i thought 911 was bad for its american-ness but it was nothing compared to this#also its very christian#which i cant remember who warned me about but thanks so much for the heads up#i also am being irrationally annoyed by the colour grading#why is it so washed out and grey i hate it so much#however#despite all that complaining i am starting to get into it now#i dont think im ever gonna love it like i love 911 but who knows#also as previously stated i really love tk and marjan#they are both characters that feel like they were specifically designed for me to love#and love them i do#please i want more storylines following them and less of ... basically every other storyline#911 lone star lb#< ill use that tag to keep upating my thoughts cos i feel like im gonna have a lot of thoughts#feel free to blacklist if it gets annoying
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bro what?
#oh look a personal post#i'm so irrationally-but-not-really annoyed at this 😭 i can't finish the ep#i watched the MV SOOO many times for the badminton lesbians Specifically like. i am Personally offended. sorry.#idk if it's addressed later on in the ep but i need to chill before finishing it lol
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