#i am so fucking normal i swear i am so normal i even go to normal people school i swear there's nothing wrong with me
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HI I’M GOING FUCKING FERAL AKBRJQJHTHAHTHWHHTHQHH This is so excellent and insane thank you so freaking much!!!!! THEIR DYNAMIC IS THE MOST CHEF’S KISS THING IN THE WORLD I LOVE HOW YOU WRITE THEM SO MUCH!!!!
Like your characterization is one of my favorite things about your writing, you understand them all so deeply and are willing to show all the little things that are amazing and that also suck about them AAAAH. They are so competitive with each other even in these oho so intimate moments!! Like Isagi is the softest and most beautiful man, but he also loves to torture Rin by not letting him hide behind his haughtiness!! RIN MY BELOVED MAN WHO IS SUCH A SHAME BASED CREATURE PLEASE LET ME BREAK YOU AND ALSO SPOIL YOU FOR THE REST OF FOREVER AJRHJWHRBJANBRBBSBR
Yeah. This whole dynamic makes me the most normal guy in the whole world forever. Wirhajhajjjajrjanrh This was so freaking incredible your brain is massive and it was such an excellent experience commissioning you.🙇♂️🙇♂️👏👏💙💙 The hardest part about any of it was that I had to wait to read it until I got home from work ajhrjajrjqjrhhr WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS RATTLING AT THE BARS OF MY CAGE AJHABVFBSBRBBSBR
THANK YOU AGAIN SO MUCH!!!😭🙇♂️
balancing act | y. isagi + i. rin
✮ tags ; afab + fem!reader (she/her used for reader, good girl etc), threesome kinda, oral (m!recieving), bondage (m!receiving) deep-throating, face-fucking, some gagging, rin-centric, polyam relationship, rin and isagi have and established dynamic, soft dom! isagi, implied sub!rin, and switch!reader 18+
✮ wc ; 2k (enough......)
✮ a/n ; thank you for commissioning me @timesnewreader. i was... very excited to write this.... i hope u are okay with the direction i took....
✮ synopsis ; you start to understand the dynamic between them. or maybe all three of you, a little more.
or isagi teaching you how to make rin feel good while rins tied up.
tip jar | commission post (closed for now)
Isagi's hand is warm as it rests on your head.
You look up at him from where you're kneeling, craning your neck to try and get a look of his face. He notices quickly, instantly—affectionate as he lets his hand cup your cheek. His thumb brushes along your lip as he pets you.
A fuzzy feeling settles in your stomach at the touch and he smiles at you. Sun-warm, almost deceptively kind.
You can feel Rin's gaze on you too. Unreadable to you like always. Not quite cruel, not quite openly affectionate either. Something else simmering under the weighted teal irises that makes your stomach tie in knots.
"Don't be nervous," Isagi hums. Him and Rin lock eyes and for a split second, you almost think you understand them. "He won't act tough forever,"
"Shut up," RIn hisses. Isagi clicks his teeth.
"Lighten up first," Isagi says, shaking his head. He cards his fingers through Rin's hair. And then he tugs from the root, hard enough to make RIn hiss. His smile is the same - no traces of malice. "You're scaring her, y'know? Be civil."
Rin looks down at you again. On you? You don't really know. He doesn't look for long, and doesn't respond to Isagi when he talks. His eyes dart in another direction and he scoffs under his breath.
Isagi shakes his head. "You're so dishonest,"
They look at each other again, speaking without talking at all Rin clicks his teeth. Isagi sighs, shrugs, and directs his attention back to you.
"Sorry," He says, apologetic. Sincere. "We both want you here. Promise,"
It's like he's reading your mind, visible relief making your shoulders sag where you sit. Isagi's grin grows another size, pinching your cheek slightly. "You were worried, huh? How sweet."
You squirm a little. You can't find your voice for a minute or two. "A little. I don't... if Rin-kun isn't comfortable with it then—"
Isagi laughs.
And then, with no ceremony - he puts his knee between Rin's closed legs and shoves them apart. Rin snaps at him. Isagi keeps his legs forced open without concern.
Rin isn't any position to do anything anyway. You're knelt between his legs but he's got his arms tied - restrained to a chair per Isagis's request. He fights a blush as Isagi keeps his legs apart.
He's not naked, but you can see he's hard. His cock strains against the athleisure on hips - tenting the fabric slightly. Your eyes widen in surprise, and you look up at Rin whose still refusing to look at you.
"Promise he won't bite," Isagi says, encouraging you to touch him. "Not if I keep him restrained at least. It's okay."
You and Rin look each other this time. Rin's eyes lid as you crawl closer between his legs. Your hand is tentative, loosely cupping his cock.
The response is instant. A sharp hiss, dick twitching against your hand despite how lightly you've touched it. It emboldens you, enough to hold it at least. He's hard. You wonder if you did that to him. Some part of you can't believe it.
"See? He's just embarrassed," Isagi says, patient with you. With Rin too, you think. "He wants you make him feel good. Rin had a crush on you first, you know? Between us. I bet you want that too,"
You look up at him innocently. "I want to make you feel good too,"
Isagi lets out a labored breath. "Watching you makes me feel good. Rin-kun will pout if I get to you first," An eye roll. "Unfair right? But that's how much he likes you."
"Shut up already,"
Rin is blushing. Isagi laughs. "See? I'll tell you how to make him feel good. You'll get something nice after, okay?"
"Oh it's—it,"
"Don't argue, 'kay? Go, get closer to him."
So you listen to him. You inch closer to Rin's lap and rest your hand on his leg. Isagi bends down on one knee behind you, keeping his legs apart when Rin tries to shut them closed. Undressing him for your ease of access, hands pushing his sweats down to his thighs.
At full height, his dick is bigger than you imagined it to be. Prettier too, somehow. It's gorgeous—tip flushed cherry red, with a long curve and veins that stand out. Mostly hairless except at the base, where it's well groomed. The hair grows thick still, contrasts so nice against the pale color of his cock. Pre-cum dribbles from the head, silky and and crystalline clear - laced with white.
You feel your head get heavy. A subconscious desire to get closer to it overwhelms your thoughts. Close enough to breathe on it. Rin huffs.
"You're making such a cute face," Isagi coos, amused by you. Embarrassment flares in your belly, tickles your skin. "He likes when you start light. Too much at once and he'll get overwhelmed. Go slowly,"
He instructs so gentle you don't feel condescended. Despite his smugness, his intention is so genuine it makes you flush.
You let your instinct take over. Your mind clouds, pouting your lips to press a soft kiss to the very base of his shaft. Wet and open mouthed, you rest and feel the weight of it. The pulse of it. His cock is so heavy against your face
You move up, kissing it slowly all the way to the very tip. You let your lips rest there. Rin looks down at you, chest heaving.
The obstinacy has melted off of him. Faster then you could've predicted. There's something...needy to it. Almost. Maybe you're reading it wrong.
"You're so good, hm," Isagi hums - standing on his knees behind you. His hand comes around your waist, palm resting on your midriff. "Learned so fast. Use your tongue,"
You dip your tongue into leaking slit on command. Rin cusses loud.
Without thinking, you open your mouth up enough to fit the tip of his cock into it fully. You don't take him all the way into your throat, heeding Isagi's advice to go slow.
"It's sensitive under the head," He directs. He's so comforting, so sincere. "Try it,"
You concentrate your attention there, pressing your tongue flat. Rin jerks above you - hips threatening to buck up into your throat. But Isagi uses both hands to hold him down by his thighs. Rin strains against it but Isagi is firm. You're reminded then that despite the difference in size between them, their athletic prowess isn't so different.
The thought sends you reeling.
"So desperate," Isagi taunts. "A pretty girl has your cock in her mouth and you get so worked up. What happened to your restraint and self-discipline, huh?"
"Fuck off," Rin swears. His voice lacking the composure you've come to associate with him so strongly. "Shut up before I go soft."
"As if you would. Can't cum without me telling you off, can you?"
You feel him twitch in your mouth and you try not to gasp at the reaction, proving itself in front of your eyes. Your eyes go wide and Rin looks down with an embarrassed blush and oh—.
"See? Rin-kun only acts tough but truth is he can only take so much," Isagi hums. His hands slide up your chest and you feel him cup your tits - giving them an affectionate squeeze. "That's why we're spoiling him. He's being like this but he's happy you're pampering him. Right, Rin-kun?"
You look at Rin again and you think you're starting to understand. Just a little. How it goes between them. And now between you. The thought makes your pride swell.
"Rin-kun," You pull away, eyes blown wide in some sudden desire. "I like you."
A pause. Air being pulled into lungs, a held breath. Rin's eyes go wide and you watch as his cock dribbles again. Isagi freezes for a moment too before he laughs, laughs warm and affectionate and so loud.
"You caught on fast, huh?" Isagi says, hugging you from behind. His chin rests on your shoulder. "And me too, right?"
"Yeah, of course you too." You nod.
You understand it a little more clearer. Rin never does something he doesn't have a reason or desire to do. His ego doesn't work that way. Not combating Isagi, no matter how smug, is it's own form of submission you think.
"Let's keep going, okay? Without worry."
A weight lifted from your shoulders, you nod again. Open your mouth fully, careful as you stand up on your knees and get closer. The assurance instills confidence in you, makes it easier for you to go through the practiced motions. Your hands on Rin's thighs, corded muscle strained under your palms where you hold yourself up. Both you and Isagi holding his hips in tandem.
You let yourself take him in. Trapped betwen them, you swallow around Rin's cock. Careful to mind your teeth, the edges of your mouth stretch and ache to accommodate his length. The scent of him makes your head feel heavy, a strong musk and the taste of clean skin all over your tongue. Makes your mouth water, brain melting slow. The effort doesn't go unnoticed, Isagi whispering praises as you open up your throat to fit fully fit Rin's cock.
"You're so good. Just like that," He hums, giggling. "Even I can't do this well. So good with your mouth huh?"
You gag voicing a muffled 'thank you' and Rin curses above you. You feel him strain, muscles of his thighs shaking hard.
"Fuck—fuck, don't—"
You move then. Mouth full of spit, used to the feeling of his cock down your throat - you move bob your head, hollowing your cheeks. Your eyes prick with tears at the way he hits your throat now repeatedly but you push forward anyhow.
You want to see him cum. You want to make him cum.
You can only go for so long though, before your jaw starts to trie.
When you start to slow, Isagi is kind and does the heavy lifting for you.
His hands rest on the side of your head forcing you up and down. It sends a shot of lightning through you, arousal making your whole body shiver at the controlled force. Precise force. He holds you down but he's careful not to push you too far. You moan around Rin's cock in response to it.
Having your face fucked with Isagi as the driver makes your mind bend with unfiltered lust. Your legs clamp again, an empty ache in your cunt as you think about what he must be like when he fucks.
Rin doesn't make it out any better. You can feel him. How he starts tremble, how his voice goes shot - how his dick gets harder, twitches so violently in your mouth each time he bottoms out in your throat.
"Fuck," His head drops back in a groan. "Fuck I'm—"
Isagi smiles a little.
"Be a good boy and cum down her throat like she wants,"
That's what makes him let go. Isagi holds you down as Rin cums with something that borders on a scream, straining against his restraints as his cum spills all the way down. It fills your mouth, the taste and the scent making you dizzy. It goes so far into your throat you don't taste it, rather you swallow it all in one go with little fuss other than a loud gulp.
"That's it," Isagi coos. "That's a good girl. Easy, easy. Breathe."
You cough as Isagi lets you off of Rin slowly, exhaling as you clear your throat. When you pull away, Isagi pulls you by your chin to tip your face over to meet his.
"Open your mouth, beautiful."
You do and Isagi smiles with pride. "You really swallowed all of it. Didn't even use your hands," He hums. "What a good girl."
You make a face of embarrassment. "Thank you,"
Rin makes a disgruntled sound. "Untie me before I fucking kill you,"
Isagi snorts, giving you a short kiss before going around to undo Rin's bindings. "Hard to take you seriously when you sound like that."
You sit where you are, in a mild daze you collect yourself. Lost in your own world, you don't notice when Rin finally gets untied.
It startles you when you feel him practically jump you. When his hands are free, he bends over the chair and brings your face to his. Big hands cradle your face as you feel him kiss you so hard it shakes you. More teeth than lip, rough but full of desire. You feel his tongue in your mouth even after swallowing his cum. At some point you give into it, hands clutching his shoulder as you struggle to breathe.
It's Isagi that pulls him off, a laugh on his voice - not mad at all.
"You're so aggressive when you get like this. Just be honest from the start next time instead of trying to eat her, dumbass."
Despite the bickering, Isagi bends down from where he stands to kiss Rin too and Rin lets him so easily you almost want to laugh. Rin must notice. He glares just a little but he looks embarrassed more than anything.
"You did good baby," Isagi praise, a hand on your shoulder. "What kind of reward do you want?"
You pause. "What does Rin-kun want?"
A blush paints him deep red and you ans Isagi sort of smile in mutual understanding. He frowns, bangs covering his face.
"Want you to sit on my face,"
You look at Isagi.
"Then that, if that's okay."
Isagi hums, a hand on Rin's nape. "More than okay. Guess it's fine to spoil him a little more."
Rin makes a disgruntled noise, but ultimately - he doesn't seem too unhappy with it either.
A very careful balancing act.
#I AM A MAN WHO IS SO NORMAL ABOUT THESE TWO GUYS AJHJWHRJBANBRBABRB#NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS ARE TRUE AJHRAJBFSDBDB#Guys I’m coming put of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine I swear#Yeah rinsagi makes me go fucking feral I cant even tell you#repressed man and man who uses AGGRESSIVE KINDNESS AND IS ALSO KIND OF A DICK TOO#God I want him#them#this was an amazing experience thank you so much fang I’m dead now🙇♂️😵#bluelock x reader#bluelock smut#rin x reader#isagi x reader#rinsagi x reader#rin smut#isagi smut#timesnewrecs
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But we’re roommates! Pt 2
-College DT x nerdy reader
-18 plus minors DNI
-Warnings: Adult language, anxiety, internalized homophobia, descriptions of foreplay, virginity kink
-2,800 words
Diana’s POV
I shove my headphone over my head, my hair pulled back in a loose ponytail, the curls threatening to escape. 50 cent blares in my ear as I cross through the hallway of the dormitory.
“Distracts me?” I mutter to myself. I don’t understand my weird ass roommate, it’s rare she actually talks to me, even rarer that she comes close. Maybe it’s for the best, if she knew the thoughts I had about her I'm sure she’d never speak to me again.
“Distracts me?” I mumble again, I’m stuck on that, it has to fucking mean something. Why would it bother her if I’m in my sports bra? I wish she wouldn’t walk around in her goddamn tank top and shorts, well not really, I think her thin sleep shirt is my favorite thing she owns. I let out a groan as I picture her, the thin fabric stretching over her tits.
“Fuck” I mumble and shake my head to clear the thoughts. If only she knew how distracting she was, I keep my music blaring so I don’t notice her. I already know today is going to be a waste in class. Not that I give two fucks about my English class, as long as I get a C I can keep my scholarship and keep playing basketball. I should care more, I’m the first in my family to go to college; I’m not gonna flunk out or some shit but I’m happy with getting by. I hate my English class the most, what the fuck am I learning by reading Beowulf and Pride and Prejudice? At least my roomie helps me with English, she’s so smart. I turn up the volume on my mp3 player, keeping my mind from drifting to thoughts about my nervous baby bunny. I wave to a few people as I walk through the green, I don’t know everyone but since my face was on the fucking school magazine everyone seems to know me. Finally I get to one of the biggest buildings on campus, it’s on the other side of the fucking campus from my dorm but at least most of my classes are here. I glance down at my watch and swear under my breath, I’m like five minutes late.
“Miss Taurasi, you do know class starts at nine, correct?” My professor says, a smug look on his face.
“Yes sir, I got held up this morning.” I reply and flop down in my seat, pulling out my notebook.
“It’s five minutes, can he fucking chillax?” I mumble under my breath as he drones on about the oral history of Beowulf. I should be paying attention, I should be taking notes, but I can’t stop thinking about my fucking roommate. The way my hands fit perfectly around her waist, her touching my shoulder, her soft voice saying I’m distracting plays over and over in my head. It means something, it has too; why would my sweaty body be distracting to her? I look up from my blank notebook, realizing.
”Fuck, she’s attracted to me.” I mutter without thinking and a few heads turn my way but I ignore them. Now all I want is my classes to be over so I can get back to my dorm.
“Oh god, shit.” You say and run your fingers through your hair. Your classes start a little later in the day, back to back history classes then humanities. You stare at Diana’s unmade bed and replay your conversation. You had admitted she was distracting, you’d said her body was distracting.
“God she’s gonna think I’m some lesbo weirdo.” You mutter and pace the small space.
”No.. no.. it’s normal to be distracted, she’s hot.” You try and reassure yourself but it doesn’t work, you know deep down that the feelings you have towards Diana aren’t platonic. You want to feel her big hands on you, her lips, her everything, you want to be consumed by her presence. She’s gorgeous, a mix of strong muscles and soft curves that make your mouth water.
“Don’t be weird, it’s fine, it’s fine.” You dress quickly, a tank top and loose cargo pants and hurry out the door for class; your mind clouded with anxiety with before class.
The rest of the day goes by in a droning bore, your classes blurring together as your stomach tumbles in anxiety. When your last class leaves you bolt for the door and race across campus to your dorm. Diana’s day ends before yours but she has practice so it’s fine.
“Calm down, calm down, its fine, she’s at practice and I’m sure she doesn’t even remember what I said this morning.” You mutter as you fit the key in your dorm room door. You swing it open and yelp as Diana looks up at you from her bed.
”Finally you're home, I didn't know when your last class ended.” She says and stands to come closer.
”No it’s Monday, your math class lets out at four and your practice starts at four-thirty, why are you here? It’s five?” You say and shake your head.
“You memorized my schedule?” She asks and cocks her head to the side, her hair is down for once and the dark curls bob as she turns her head.
”I..I..I wanted to know the times you wouldn’t be here, for.. for studying.” You stammer, still standing in the open doorway. Diana gives you a wolffish grin and takes another step towards you, she’s in touching distance now but she feels much closer, her large statue looming.
”Oh yes because I’m so distracting right?”
“Y..your music and..and..” You stammer but she cuts you off by grabbing you and pulling you into the room, the door clicking shut and locking behind her.
”We dont need to have this talk with the door open.” Diana says in a hushed tone, her hands still on your arms.
”And I know, you find me walking around in my sports bra very distracting right?” She taunts, her thumbs rubbing up and down your bare arms, leaving goosebumps along your skin.
”I..I..”
“Why does my body distract you Baby bunny?” She whispers, drawing you even closer.
”I’m not the genius you are but could I be distracting you because you find me hot?” She’s standing so close now you could count the freckles across her face, she looks down at you with a serious expression, something you're not used to. You look up at her slack jawed and you know you're blushing but you can’t stop. You try to think of something, anything to say to her but your mind is drawing a blank.
”Y..yes you..you are pretty but..but lots of g..girls are pretty.” You stammer and try to pull away but her grip tightens to nearly painful.
”Do you look at a lot of other girls?” She whispers and searches your face.
”I..I mean a normal amount, everyone notices pretty girls right? I mean you notice pretty girls right?” You answer nervously and look down. Diana moves one of her hands from your arm to under your chin and she tilts your head up gently to look at her.
”Oh yeah, I notice pretty girls, all the time, but then again I don’t notice boys.. if you understand what I mean. I definitely fucking notice you. You think I’m distracting? Baby I can hardly think when you're around, everything comes out in a rush of word vomit when you look at me with your big eyes.” She’s leaned down to you, your air mingling as her eyes dart from yours to your lips.
“Do you feel the same way baby? Am I right?” Diana says, her tone so hushed its barely audible over the roaring in your ears. The room feels too small, Diana too close, you can’t breathe let alone think. As if she can read your thoughts she takes a step back and lets go of your arms, raising her hands in surrender.
“Tell me I’m wrong, tell me to fuck off and I’ll never bring it up again, I’ll even wear a shirt all the time.“ Her eyes search your face and you can see the quiet vulnerability in her face. You’re frozen, not able to deny how you feel but not knowing what to say either. Diana looks at you concerned and then a look of understanding crosses over her face.
“You’re new to liking girls aren’t you? Or rather new to admitting it to yourself?” Her tone is soft and her gaze warm. She sits on her bed and pats the place next to her.
“It’s ok, everyone’s been there.” You take a tentative step towards her, trying to think of anything to say.
“If you don’t say anything cause you’re scared of rejection, don’t be.” Diana says in a hushed tone and you sit, she immediately puts her hand on your thigh, nothing scandalous just resting on your knee but it was enough to get your blood heating.
“I don’t know why I feel this way about… about you.” You say softly and turn to look at her.
“Are you attracted to me? Do you get distracted by my body because it turns you on? You don’t understand why I affect you… it’s nothing I did baby, you just like women.” Diana says and grins, her touch on your thigh turning teasing as she traced patterns on your inner thigh; the calluses on her long fingers leaving goosebumps under your pants.
“It’s ok, I feel the same way, I want you baby, fuck I want to kiss you all the time, I want you to come to my games in my jersey. I want to devour you.” Her tone dropped as she spoke and she squeezed your thigh for emphasis on the last part. You let out a hushed whimper and she moved closer, her hand moving up your thigh.
“You gotta say something babygirl, I’m not going to keep touching you unless I’m sure you want it.” She starts to pull away and immediately you feel the loss of contact and speak before thinking.
“No please keep touching me. Fuck I want you to touch me please.” You admit and she grinned.
“Thank fuck.” Diana groans and doesn’t give you a chance to respond before pulling you in tight, her lips crashing into yours. You freeze, your body locking up under the foreign touch.
“Come on baby, let go, let me show you how I good I can make you feel.” Diana says and kisses down your neck.
“Don’t think, just feel; you want me to keep touching you? Well I want you to touch me too, give in baby.” She almost begs and her soft suck on your pulse point makes you come undone. You melt against her, and pull her down for another kiss. Your kiss is clumsy and unpracticed but passionate; Diana’s hand comes up behind you and tangles in your hair, tilting your head back as she takes control. She slows your kiss, her mouth moving against yours with practiced ease.
“God you don’t know what you do to me.” Diana practically growls and pulls away a bit.
“Talk to me baby.” She begs and strokes your back.
”Im sorry I..I’m not good at this at uh talking about stuff.” You manage to say and she grins.
“No apologies baby, you don’t need to try, just be you.” She kisses down your jaw and you gasp.
“O..Ok” you say in a breathy tone, collecting yourself a bit.
”I like you, i really like you in a way I haven’t liked another girl before and I didn't know what to do or how to act because i didn't want you to think I’m a freak but then that meant you needed to stay away from me because my like brain stops working when you're around.” Your words tumble out a fast long sentence and Diana pulls away to process your words.
“Firstly I dont think you're a freak, I’m actually super fucking happy that you have feelings for me because fuck I’ve wanted you since you walked into this dorm all wide eyed and excited the first day.” She smiles and pulls you close again, this time in a tight hug, Diana was successfully breaking your walls down, bit by little bit. She waited until she felt you relax in her embrace to speak.
“When you see me walking around in my underwear what are you thinking baby?” She whispers against your hair, her tone low.
”I..I..” You start to stutter in response.
”You tell me and I’ll tell you what I’m thinking when I see you in your cute little pajamas.” She teases, moving her head down to whisper in your ear.
“I..I think about your body and.. and how much I like it and want to touch you. I..I think about your boobs probably too much and your uh sweaty sports bras hide little.” You admit and pull away again, sitting next to her. Diana raises her eyebrows in question.
”My…boobs?” She asks and looks down at her somewhat flat chest.
“Yes yes I think about them all the time, every time I see you without a bra at night or when you walk around after practice. God Diana were you not doing that on purpose?” You ask, you're softening, feeling more comfortable with her now that your crush was out in the open. Diana laughs and shakes her head incredulously.
”I honestly just started dressing in here because it seemed to annoy you and you look so adorable when you're mad but you weren’t mad were you? You were horny?” She hooks a finger in your belt loop and tugs you towards her, forcing your body to angle to her. You blush and look down at your hands in your lap.
“Nah baby dont get shy on me now, you were just telling me how much you like my boobs.” Diana’s hands cover yours and you tilt your head to look at her.
“Do you wanna see ‘em baby?” Her voice drops to a whisper and she looks down at you with heat in her gaze. You suddenly realize yes, you’d very much like to see her boobs and the rest of her.
”Yes, Diana I..I want you.” You say in a shaky tone and bite your lip. She lets out a groan in response.
“Ok , you can have me but fuck that means I get you, I get to really know you, you gotta let me in.” Dianas words came out in almost a plea, she needed you as much as you needed her right now.
“Yes I promise Dee you can-“
”Don’t call me that.” She cuts you off abruptly and you look at her in confusion.
”But everyone calls you that?”
“Yeah but you aren’t everyone and you’ve never called me Dee, I uh I like that you're the only one that calls me by my full name. To everyone Im Dee or DT but you have always called me Diana.” She brings your hands to her lips and kisses across your knuckles; you're left breathless by the reverence in her touch.
”Diana I promise I’ll be myself, I want you, I don’t want to hide from you anymore.” You admit to her as she kisses your knuckles again.
“Thank god baby, now I want to touch you, I want to touch you everywhere, can I?” Diana asks softly and drags her big hands up your arms.
“I wanna show you how much I like you.” Her thumbs hook under the thin straps of your tank top and pulls them down your shoulders.
”I..I dont know what to do, i.. I’ve never..” You stutter and she groans low in her throat.
”Fuck are you telling me you're a virgin?” Her thumbs move in small circles on your shoulders as she looks down at you predatorily.
“Y..yeah I uh have never with uh anyone.” You say quietly, a touch embarrassed.
”But you want me to touch you right? You want me to make you cum dont you baby bunny?” She asks in a raspy tone, dipping her head to kiss down your neck.
“Y.yes Diana p..please.” You say and let your head lull to the side giving her more access.
“Mhhmm you're so beautiful.” She said against your skin, one hand fisted in your hair to gently lean your head and her other hand wandered up your body, teasing at the hem of your shirt.
“Diana please I..I want you to make me cum I… I want you.” You whine and arch your back into her touch, your body automatically knowing what to do. Diana chuckles against your skin and places one more kiss on your pulse point before pulling away.
“Ok baby but first I need you out of these clothes.” She leans down and starts untying your sneakers, her long finger moving deftly as she undoes the knot and slips the shoe off you.
“Lay back, lemme take care of you.” She says softly and kisses your inner ankle sending a buzz of heat through your body. Diana repeats her actions with your other shoe then stands.
#diana taurasi#wnba x reader#women’s sports#lesbian#fanfic#wbb#lgbtqia#uconn wbb#wnba requests#diana taurasi x reader#theyre so silly
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Hozier, "Francesca"
clara, my clara
#i am SO SO SO SO FUCKING NORMAL ABOUT THEM#so normal i swear#devotion so heavy and vast and unending that it survives death a hundred billion times over#all those skulls in the sea. all those billions of years#and not even being able to keep her? to remember her? moffat went for the jugular#and then for him to SHOOT A GUN#after we hear ten go “i never would. do you hear me? i would NEVER”#“do you think i care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?” hey brb gonna go fly into a black hole if no one minds#rhrhsndgfdghmhghmhmhmgg throwing upppppppp#doctor who#dw#dw spoilers#clara oswald#peter capaldi#doctor who spoilers#jenna coleman#the twelfth doctor#the doctor#face the raven#hell bent#heaven sent#hozier#dw edit#doctor who edit#twelveclara
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I was just ambushed within the turbulent halls of my own mind by some headcanons about rye ingellvar's childhood that did 15000000 points of psychic damage to me and my heart personally and also made me almost sure of how I want to play it all at the end (very very differently from how I imagined going in!). some 'oh holy fuck this changes everything' rocking my own world bullshit going on in my neurons right now I'm reeling
#I'm sorry to say that despite what I expected I think the dread wolf might be going down violently on my first run???#not because *I* love solas any less but because of who rye is and some of the twists I know happen down the line#which does make for a neat thing b/c I meant to play the crow I'm going with second as initially incredibly hostile#and then growing to feel for him and redeeming him at the end.#so if rye starts out very reasonable and sympathetic and then is brought to 'haha. no. fuck you forever for that in particular' at the end#...a pleasing cosmic symmetry in it I must admit. perfect and also makes me feel a bit sick#I'll try to put together something coherent eventually but for now#it's sort of a 'my name is ellaryen ingellvar you killed the guy#that my brain went 'close enough welcome back beloved and much missed deceased father figure' over. prepare to despair and die'#I think just the killing part might not have done it but everything that comes after? rye is a chill guy until he finally decides#that enough is fucking *enough*. and that was the most enough of all time for them#it also explains rye's accent (one of his primary caregivers growing up was a dwarf)! so many birds with one stone here#also I am so fucking sad now and I did it entirely to myself. I love fiction I love games (embarassingly genuine)#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: ellaryen ingellvar#thank god that the romanced solas playthrough is the second one tho that does make things less dire haha#adaar would have given it the good old college try to get solas to change his mind right to the end I think#but even his capable hands and politician's mind could not hold back the sheer beware the fury of a patient man storm#that is about to hit solas for the shit he just pulled. I think rye and solas are -- as it turns out -- TOO alike in many ways#...solas buddy I'm so sorry I'll come back for you on the second playthrough and make it right I swear fhsak#it's just that a second dead dwarf dad has joined the chat to haunt the narrative (and this time it's fucking personal frfr)#it's almost scary how quick I've gotten attached to my rook tho. I've waited A DECADE to save this bald elf man from himself#and then rye shows up with steel in his normally kind eyes going 'no. I want that fucker *dead*'. and I just go anything for you babyboy#I'll see what we can do. unspeakable stuff
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literally the best part of this whole stupid book iwlove weird obsessed horndogs thee villain archetype of all time. he’s so silly. “we could’ve had a life together”, he says to his lesbian ex-neighbour who he’s just shot with a crossbow bolt meanwhile her girlfriend who he’s also just shot is half dead across the room. god i love it here he said me and the bad bitch im going to fumble
#WHAT A FUCKING FREAK IJBOL!!!!!!#MORE PSYCHOSEXUALLY OBSESSED WEIRDO VILLAINS PIXELBERRY I KNOW YOU HAVE IT IN U.#their villains are usually so cringe and one note at least this one is memorable#mind you this could have used more buildup. up until like chapter 19 he still had the benefit of the doubt#his ass was NOT beating the twist villain allegations but the fucking freak allegations were a whole separate beast#and he could be presumed innocent in those. like sure i guess these are just average fanatic werewolf hunter antics.#like EYE had my suspicions. him sending that frat bro to sexually harass mc was a fucking freak move#but like in general he was coming off as someone who was just a normal amount of concerned about a friend of theirs falling in w a cult#like girl why am i following my cringe fwb into the pool house to be all ‘babe this isnt u :(’#i dont CARE i wanna go engage with the twist antagonist who at this point my mc still thinks is kind of normal/their friend!!!#but alas that’s just pb for you. we WILL NOT stick a landing ever. they make all the new writers swear to never write a villain that makes#sense or is well foreshadowed. ONLY side characters who you would never suspect bc they have like 5 lines in the whole book.#like you’ll never be duffy veilofsecrets you’ll never recapture that magic.#anyway. markus choicesalpha the fucking weirdo cringefail stalker incel loser you could have been…kermit looking out rainy window dot png#maeve speaks#playchoices#choices#pixelberry#choices alpha#channing lowe#markus barnes#side note this whole thing probably has a Much different vibe with a male mc#but as it is it’s like ijbol. channing is cringe and emotionally unavailable but how could you POSSIBLY compare to a buff werewolf bitch#he is so completely not a contender that its comedic to me. you think WE could have had a LIFE TOGETHER?#even if my mc had never ever met channing SHE IS A LESBIAN!!!! SHES GAY DUDE STOP IT LOL#and with a female mc and male channing its like yeah whatever average incel number 10 billion. wow youre going to kill me bc some other guy#is hotter than you? eyeroll. at least channing canonically gives great head.
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When will wood said "they say grow up be a mam cause until then you're nothing but a short haired girl"
When will wood said "i was nothing before, so i couldn't have asked to be born"
When will wood said "never learned how I should feel, instincts somehow stunted, just seem haunted by my stupid urge to protect"
When will wood said "dandelion seeds yet to ride on the breeze, you make a wish upon the dead but turn and call it a weed. Only plastic never die"
When will wood said "you fill your head with thoughts you find you can't even feel. Try to make room in your skull but it's full of them. All of the things that you think and think about thinking. I know it's hard, but they’re not who you are. They're white noise"
When will wood said "and a little conformity never hurt nobody, but lately I’ve been worried that you’re losing yourself. So how many milligrams of you are still left in there?"
When will wood said "baby could you play along with me? Baby would that be alright with you? And when we find out what's wrong with me, could you tell me jow could you tell me how and if i'm still pretty?"
When will wood said "it's lonely out here socrates"
When will wood said "but i'll tell you what i'm not afraid to die, i'm more afraid of what might happen first. Either way it's not like we'll get out alive. I can't say that i know which one is wrose"
When will wood said "everybody knows that, nobody knows that, everybody's in on my motherfucking business"
When will wood said "so come on, William, grow up, be a man, ‘cause until then they’re gonna treat you like you’re just a little girl"
When will wood said "everything's useless especially songs, it think the truth is that everyone's wrong. Still sing along, still sing a long long time. I might keep looking for nothing to find, they say "keep tracking it's all in your mind, jimmy you're fine," end of the line, gaining speed, wrapping trees"
When will wood said "oh are you at all like me? Do you know what i mean, or am i too close to see? Someone, anyone!"
When will wood said "why to thine own self be true when it is you who are the problem, not the things you do but something deep inside."
When will wood said "I might be a saint worth steeple, i might be the brain of evil. Bad things happen to good people, good things happen to me."
When will wood said "Although my eyes face forward, climb up on my shoulder. sure you'll see my point of view, I'd bring you with me to the office in my pocket, but the world would put us down. Lock me up and toss the key. You might seem behind bars but friend this cage is inside out.."
When will wood said "Is there cheese in the great beyond? Rinds of parmesan, wine to water, night from dawn. Life gets shorter, teeth grow long. Mind me not and I’ll mind my own and my mind’s not one bite smaller or lesser than yours. Do I belong in right and wrong? Nature, I guess."
When will wood said "Thursday traction, Tuesday titration. My hope is to assess through my objective report of your subjective conjecture whether this proprietary blend of expertise and seasoning works as well as this transorbital ice pick. Holistic ballistics, you got a better idea? It’s about the best we could come up with. What, you think ideas spread because they’re good? No, they spread because people like them. So here we are once again. Holding, as it were, a mirror up to your mirror. I guess it’s just something people do."
When will wood said "Ain’t your you-dentity at stake? Does aspirin kill you with the pain?You’re not your thoughts, you’re not your brain, you’re just the character you’ve made. Up in your head, down in your heart, what seem like separate body parts come together to believe they’re you, and not just chemistry"
When will wood said-
#will wood#in case i make it#can somebody please physically stop me from continuing this#i am so fucking normal i swear i am so normal i even go to normal people school i swear there's nothing wrong with me#i go to a fucking queer youth movment group and a school for mentally ill kids but somehow i still have no to talk about will wood with#what the fuck is this clownary#i thought i went past my will wood obssetion but here we are#i have continued this#it's just becoming a list of all my favourite will wood lyrics at this point#send help#I have got.. to get... normaler....
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Man I just give up.
#dora daily#if only there was a way to just stop everything#idk if I want to die but I want everything to stop#like so many times I go out or smth and something bad happens#or I get triggered in public and I try so hard not to lose myself and start drama in public but I just can’t#every time I show any emotion people start laughing#I can’t even try to stop myself from bawling in the middle of the store without someone#just being so insensitive and rude and diminishing how I feel#you know I say I’m never mad and that is true bc I may seem mad a lot online but I’m not like this irl#but for the first time I actually got mad at someone irl and I was literally gonna beat him#I was genuinely seething so bad it’s not fair and things keep getting worse and worse#I was so close to just throwing this stupid phone and shattering it and ripping up those dumbass#birthday cards they sell in the store#and that stupid bitch of a sister I have is so fucking stupid#she sees someone anxious and incredibly upset and she acts like that ? fuck her#like bro idek how I have lived for this long and idek why I don’t go and just overdose on SOMETHING right now because#logically speaking I should just give up#but I don’t know why I can’t#like please my life is literal shit okay is replying on time so hard for you to fucking do so I don’t go even more insane fuck all of youuuu#UGHHHDJSOS#I SWEAR TO GOD I am so sick of this just you all wait#none of you deserve normal treatment all you deserve is something even worse than ghosting#just you wait let this stupid semester end and I’ll deactivate my socials go speak to the fucking wall you morons#you think I’m gonna wait around what are you paying me to be here ? if anything IM paying with my sanity#like if this was related to a spouse who was a billionaire but he was treating me as shittily as you guys treat me then I’ll say fine#at least I’m getting something out of this transaction who gives a fuck#but im not getting paid#im not receiving support#I’m getting laughed at and ignored#and used only at YOUR CONVENIENCE !!! what the FUCK ! I don’t exist for anyone and certainly not yall even if I did.
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It's a very rare occasion when Roman is attracted to other men. More often than not they tend to be meta, some type of mutant perhaps or were AFAB themselves. Very few if any 'normal' males have ever caught his eye barring one or two exceptional individuals. He's got picky tastes and isn't afraid to hold men to -much- higher standards than when it comes to women.
#💀 || musings#💀 || headcanons#Something a little spicier because fuck tumblr going down#Fucking ruined a response I had#So ya'll getting this shitty little thing before I head off to work#Roman is so fucking picky when it comes to men I swear#Every guy he's been attracted to? It's been some supernatural entity or meta-based person#Or were AFAB themselves like him#Average joe on the street? Not gonna look twice#Some guy that is not normal? Well that's different...#It's funny because Roman is so much less strict when it comes to women#He loves them all#Well not ALL of them but a good looking face and body turns his head so often it's not even funny#If you're a guy you'd better be a mutant or a vampire or a nightmare or something fucking special LMAO#Anyway that's out so I'd better get ready for work#Back at 8pm AND THEN I AM WRITING#Unless tumblr wants to be fucky some more grr
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I'm about to throw all my academic values overboard to get this fucking article done
#linguistics are my enemy#not because I don't like the subject#I'm just........ so much less at ease with this than with literary sciene oh my god#I'm so glad I can mostly focus on lit in the future but let me tell you these few linguistics articles I have/had to do have really brought#me to my limit#and I thought I was already fed up and not giving a shit when I did that one article in summer... oh I had NO IDEA how much less of a shit#was capable of giving!!!#the thing is.... I think objectively I'm still? idk not the worst I could technically be doing#like there ARE people who straight up... idk don't even try to have a research question or who don't read more than a handful or articles b#t ugh#I like academic writing so much and I love putting in the work and I love actually getting into the reseach and finding the most important#texts and writing a balanced and well researched article but ugh..... I just feel like I keep reaching my limits with linguistics#and this time is worse than the others because this topic is SO FAR from being standardized and all I can do is ???? mention that there's#like a hundred different models and then just??? choose one and go with it? which is so fucking unsatisfying#but I swear... everybody in this field is just making up a new model that's just different words for the same thing (and not in the /normal#way that science /always/ is about making up a new model. no. this time they are very unnecessarily making up new models)#ugh. everything about this sucks#I should've chosen a different seminar I should've chose a different topic and I especially should've written more of this in summer when I#technically still had a little more time#sorry for blowing up your dash with complaints this festive season lol. I am just having a time (TM) with the different writing tasks on my#hands and I need a place to vent I guess#simon.out.#sounds so drastic btw I'm not about to cheat or plagiarize or anything but I'm about to do so much less of a proper work than I ever wanted#to allow myself to do. cherrypicking and all.
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guys the pizza tower fixation got to bad im fucking learning italian because of it
#Dreami rantz#IM SLOWLY GOING INSANE#RGSHRGJHGRJHGJHDGJHSG#... im just a little silly guy!!#a little stinker even#i need to speak italian so I can understand Peppino without using google translate I swear to g-#look at how fucking normal I am.#Arent I so normal#tell me im normal#TELL ME IM N-#/SILLY
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thinking about my oc Bytte. and. her gender is Aro. her Aromanticism is inextricable from her gender experience.
#toy txt post#i love to make an alloaro oc whos a woman navigating a usually masculine role in society far before we ever coined aromanticism#whos Aromanticism informs so much about her but with no language to adequately describe it she doesnt really know how#and so she does kinda blow up her relationships by accident bc she does Want human connection#and what she Wants is to fuck someone whos friends with her and chill about it who will just be fucking Normal about it#and Not Make It A Big Thing and also for other people to not make it a big thing and they can hang out and be friends#but never fucking domesticize her. and its in part a rejection of the misogynistic role of Wife in historic (and even modern) society of#course but its also a rejection of the relationship hierarchy of Wife. of the romanticization. bc of her circumstances the only role on#offer of course has been Wife. but in the hypothetical situation where she was offered the role of Husband? she would at first probably#accept that. in theory. it sounds fine. sure. but if she tried to LIVE like that. to Live even as a Husband. it would Also be Wrong. to put#any of her relationships into that framework is to fundamentally ruin them forever. and she is living in a society that wants that to be#the only framework. anyway its crazy how ive made a character like that exactly Twice at least#(Bytte and Lucille. Bytte is a bit more genderfucky than Lucille. Lucilles gender is also ugly violent scary woman. for reasons)#both of these characters rn are cis. well. not /cis/ cis but theyre afab and women bc i want to explore that but i am thinking lately about#a transfem take. to explore. ive considered it and i dont think i want that for Bytte? all that means is watch out for future ocs#i could do a character very similar to Bytte as transfem and it would be really good but theres something about#and honestly it would probably make more SENSE for Bytte? due to gender roles in like ancient sparta or whatever?#but if shes transfem in sparta i think there would be subtle nuanced differences in how ppl interact w her that i dont necessarily want for#her? if that makes sense. i know this reasoning sounds weak in a vacuum but i Promise i have way more characters than this and i do want to#explore things differently. i promise there are complex transfem characters in witchverse and also complex characters whos asab im not#decided on yet. there are some im not sure i ever want to be decided on? the downside of being incredibly specific about fictional#characters is that it doesnt leave you all room for headcanons#sorry. good news is you can go make your own ocs about it 👍 idk. much to explore. much to think about#also sometimes a ''''cis'''' character CAN have a fun gender to play with honestly its just that mainstream media Never does#so theres no good way to be like no but listenn i swear its fun#anyway this is all moot cos im not a fucking writer im just making up little guys and doing nothing#also anyway. i think my gender is also aro and a little ace. personally. also before u get mad at me about these 2 ocs being like#probelmatic aro rep or smth: 1) aforementioned its moot anyway im not even a writer 2) these arent the only alloaro ocs i have its just#funny that i made this one twice lmao 3) my brain is huge. my ocs are rad. suck my ass. ♡#if only i Was a writer tho god. thered be sooooo many aro characters fr fr
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9 year-old Melanie 🤝 24 year-old Melanie
Being Mentally Unwell about the Mamma Mia soundtrack
#mel's musings#mamma mia#THE BROADWAY ONE. not the movie one (although i like a lot of those renditions too)#but yeah i was raised on that soundtrack from an extremely young age despite not being allowed to see the show/movie for years#i had a pink ipod nano in 3rd-4th grade and that shit was ALL i listened to#and because i knew almost nothing about the plot at the time#little autistic mel tried incorporating her barbie 12 dancing princesses hyperfixation into the songs. somehow#(do NOT ask me how the fuck that worked. i don't have an answer for you. ANYWAY)#i had a shirt with the words “dancing queen” on it as a little girl. that is MY song and always will be#and as an adult i've discovered the name of the game is also a me song. as well as a sylvia song#i used to skip over slipping through my fingers as a kid since it made me cry. even though i never really paid attention to the lyrics then#but NOW??? i still cry. because i think of my mom. and the fact that she's the reason i'm so attached to these songs in the first place ;_;#and i have learned absolutely nothing from when i was nine because i am STILL tying my hyperfixations to these songs#and i assure you i am normal about narumitsu singing take a chance on me. i am SO normal i swear#and while it doesn't QUITE match up with how i picture the timeline of their relationship#the idea of phoenix having a mamma mia moment when miles comes back in jfa is fucking hilarious to me#GO LISTEN TO MAMMA MIA. come be feral with me it's beautiful here#music nerd shit
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hm. i think i am going to stop going to counseling. he does not understand me. he pathologizes things that are not pathological.
#purrs#the premises of counseling / therapy are that you need to have boundaries and be self sufficient and fully healed. FUCK THAT! relationships#are not transactions. we are allowed to need each other. we are allowed to blur lines. we are human and messy. our thoughts and feelings ar#PRECIOUS. im not letting go of my thoughts they mean EVERYTHING to me they are the key to the WORLD. im not letting go of redacted why on#EARTH would i stop redacteding to redacted that is HELPFUL for me. i don’t CARE about the roots. who the fuck is it hurting????? NO ONE!!!!#the way he flat out told me he agrees with my mom. bitch im done forever. im done literaly forever. i don’t know how to tell him but im don#forever. maybe it’s just my id which is what he said to me LMFAO and like maybe i just don’t like being uncomfortable or facing hard truths#but i don’t fucking think it’s TRUE!!!!!!!!!! yeah i need to grow yeah i have unhealthy behaviors. but i don’t need to let go of the whole#THING bc of some arbitrary transactional concept of what relationships are supposed to be / mean. ive NEVER had a counselor try to uproot t#the whole damn thing like omg what is WRONG with you. i#im paying this man $25 a week to UNDERSTAND me and not ONCE have i felt understood by him. counselors can disagree with me but i literally#never feel like he is on my side. he’s adhering to conventional ideas about what parents are supposed to be and friends are supposed to be#and work is supposed to be etc etc. and so patronizingly said just enjoy being 23 you don’t wanna waste your 20s! FUCK YOU. i will not#regret anything even if it’s unusual. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!#and also i know he probably watches back thru the recordings and has like his supervisor and professors watch them too which means that#there is a whole team of scientists + my family studying me in a lab and thinking im insane and finding ways to tell me. but fucking bold o#him to assume he can give me any meaningful valuable insight when he is actively checking his laptop / phone during our sessions and rarely#if eve gives me a chance to drive MY OWN CONVERSATION THAT IM PAYING FOR and is so phony abt being on the recording. like Omg. maybe im jus#grown out of it. it fucking SUCKS bc i actually have things i am not normal about and really need help with and i can’t actually get help f#from ppl whose job it is to fucking help me bc they think im not normal about things i PROMISEEEE i am normal about. and the way i effectiv#effectively told him that and he responded that he can’t take that credibly bc there’s no action behind it BY WHICH HE MEANS I HAVENT#STOPPED REDACTEDING TO ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT REDACTED IN MY WHOLE LIFE? THAT I HAVENT DECIDED IM DONE LEARNING SND GROWING AND CUT IT#OFF?????? DO YOU FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF. INSANE. the ANTITHESIS of human. we are MEANT TO BE CONNECTED. FUCK!!!!!!!!!#delete later#my old counselors challenged me and disagreed with me b it i never felt like they flat out were unwilling to meet me where i am and#compromise with me. is that not what counselors are supposed to do???? or have i just had bad counselors until now??? because im NORMAL. i#swear to fucking god. im normal. im literally normal and it is not doing ANYONE harm. what is wrong with you. GOD
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i think ive officially reached the point that if i have to be exposed to one (1) more t*ylor swift update im going to become the actual joker
#STOP MAKING ME SEE HER INSUFFERABLE OUT OF TOUCH QUOTES FROM HER STUPID TIME INTERVIEW IM GOING TO SCREAMMMMMMM#avpost#i was starting to like. move on and accept that she just existed and had fans and i could just ignore her and not care#but its been over 12 straight months of having this mediocre untalented musician absolutely jammed down my fucking throat#uninterrupted i swear to god since midnights came out i havent had a week without having#to hear about goddamn TS im so fucking sick of it can we please move on can we let anybody else have ANY oxygen in the room#we need a 6 MONTH SILENCE PERIOD where you arent allowed to say or print her name. please . let me fucking rest#i swear to god i do not seek her out i even spent this year less engaged in pop music than i normally am and YET. and YETTTTTT.
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ugggghhh ok so I’m reading some books to prep for my student teaching in the fall, the ones that my host teacher knows are likely to be in the curriculum, and first of all why is it a thing that high schoolers are made to read Contemporary Lit Fic that can be summed up as “how many gory explicit descriptions of traumatic abuse can we fit into one book”, like every year it’s just One Standard Shakespeare Play, One Twentieth-Century American Classic, throw in some other shit, and Somebody’s Fucked-Up Memoir From A Decade Or So Ago. Are there any contemporary books that are good but NOT traumatizing? If not, I’m happy to stick to classic lit personally
ANYWAY so I’m reading this book to prep for the fall and I ended up skimming the whole latter 3/4 or so of the book to spoil it for myself so the suspense wouldn’t kill me, and now I’m up late despite being super tired because my brain is just cycling through every horrific thing in the book, plus the reviews I read online, some of which are insanely saying shit like “wah wah, get over it, stop whining, we all had rough times in our childhood” and I’m like... Am I the softest, most naive baby on the planet for reacting to this horrific memoir by feeling bad for the author and thinking that maybe we don’t need to be making high schoolers read this? I’m not saying it’s not well-written- it is well-written, and well-structured, but Jesus Christ.
(also why are we allowed to make students read horrifying memoirs of abuse but god forbid they know that slavery happened in this country, but that’s a different issue altogether)
so yeah I now have managed to make my entire evening about Trying And Failing To Get Some Images Out of My Head, which sucks because I had a LOVELY day and was looking forward to some well-earned sleep, and also I’m gonna have to go back and read the entire book so that I’m able to teach it properly and know all the literary devices in it and shit. Cool cool cool
#this is the same classroom where i did my student observing and their 'holocaust book' was this book called sarah's key#which is also unnecessarily traumatizing but doesn't even have the decency to be written well#and i asked my host teacher like 'hey. do we provide any like... emotional support to the students when they read That Scene'#and she was like 'yeah i have them write a response paper about their emotions reading the scene'#and idk i'm not 100% sure that's enough?#i know high schoolers put on a big song and dance about how edgy they are and how they can handle seeing any fucked-up shit#and some of them really do unfortunately have to live with fucked-up shit for real#but like. they're still humans? who are growing and developing? let's maybe give them breathing room with these things?#i love my host teacher she's great but i'm not confident she's gonna provide a lot of emotional support re: this memoir to the students#she's also way tougher and more resilient than i am. and so are most of the students tbh. i'm a tiny baby kitten and i know this#still i feel like we should probably allow some room for acknowledging Yeah That Was Fucked Up Huh#It's Normal To Feel Sad Now Actually#ANY THE FUCKING WAY. wish i'd gone to sleep early like i planned#at least it's the weekend tomorrow and all i have to do is go prove i don't have tuberculosis. again!!!!#(not that i had tuberculosis before. i just got tested before but it was over 6 months ago so not good enough)#that's also for student teaching!#i feel like my personal posts on this blog are just a psa on why not to become a teacher#i swear i love teaching lol but i love kvetching more#written by me
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At this point the normal album is fucking tattooed to my brain. I'm looking at it like an old man looking at a tattoo he got in his youth and thinking, "what a good time that was", knowing very well that he got this tattoo during the time he almost died from drinking too much booze. I was severely depressed during that time why is this nostalgic??
#listening to the normal album again#i am sane i am not ill i am okay (i promise) i am so fucking normal i even go to normal school i swear#mmhmhhmm blackboxwarrior#helpp#will wood#the normal album#does this post mae any sense like at all#make*#hel#p#i used to listen to this album on loop so many time that listening to it now is so fuxking weird#it's like talking to a person who was one of your childhood best friends that you didn't talk to for years#yknow#helpivjfnffk
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