#i am so broke all the time and im so tired
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gonna. surprise go look at an apartment today lmao might panic and or cry
#opportunity too good and weird to pass up#possibly TOO good we'll. we'll fuckin see.#i really don't wanna move but it's the right amount smaller AND like. $300 less a month with fewer utilities.#which would be. so much.#I DON'T WANT TO MOVE IN A MONTH IM EXHAUSTED#but.#lies down#don't wanna have the lease breaking convo either esp since the only reason is money#BUT.#i am so broke all the time and im so tired
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MY BRAINS NOT WORKING AND THE CUTE BOY I WORK WITH KEEPS CORRECTING MY GRAMMAR THIS IS SO AHAIWIAKSDHDGRRRRHRNE
#dhakaksdjs fuckdwkufeisfjsjajsueei#im using a translator and it keeps outputting 您 instead of 你 and he keeps calling it out like bro ur making it awkward#AND IM LIKE SORRY I CANT ACTUALLY WRITE IN THIS LANGUAGE IM REALLY DU M. BB#also he offered to take over the last part bc i was like hi its almost 9pm here and i literally cannot think anymore#like i am certain its a very easy last part my brain is just finished#i feel so bad bc i wanted to push this proj over the line#this company is so intense i am so baby i am so tired#hugging my cat and rubbing my gross face all over his gross body#me in vc trying to figure out how to say: it was broken earlier idk how it was fixed u saw it was broke tho right#but all that came out was: in the past it was….problematic… *20 yr silence*#before he awkwardly went: um its okay i dont think this is necessary also u have lint issues#and i was just like ya….i know 😭#its ambiguous to some of my teammates if i just dont understand them or if im fking dumb#its probably both im ngl#the blank stare i have on my face is first from trying to comprehend what the actual words they are saying mean#and then to comprehend what technical concept they are trying to convey#using like 50% of the information i managed to parse out#also im used to literally spending 30-40% of the working day talking smack#now i try to crack and joke and everyone is like three this isnt the time#three we are all gonna be hear past 9pm working this isnt the time
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another thing is ive been off my meds like a month and i genuinely do not know if it’s been better or not. lmfao
#ofc your first reaction wld be absolutely not.#HOWEVER#i have had SO much more energy i can actually fucking get shit done without it draining every last bit of my energy#and i am oddly FAR calmer. id normally be in complete fucking breakdown mode with the shit thats gone on but i feel way more equipped to#handle it? my mind feels way less foggy#i can feel some semblance of pleasure#im not okay. but i fucking wasnt okay on meds either#in fact i was worse. they were making me more fucking depressed. i felt NOTHING#which is even worse than anything. emptiness to me is so much worse than depression or anxiety#at least those can be quelled. distracted from. emptiness makes me want to tear my fucking skin off#im way less tired when i get decent sleep. i was sleeping 12 hours a day and not feeling rested i couldnt even get out of bed#i couldnt afford them this time and havent had horrid withdrawals as id been tapering for a while after not having my prescription prior to#that#dunno what it all means. but i’ll take it to be quite honest with you#im also not so fucking hungry all the time which is incredible bc i am broke#i do think the dreams have gotten worse but that could stop with time
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so tired of being a shitty bandaid for my parents' loneliness. like have u ever considered you passed your curse to me and some days i feel so lonely it's like i can't breathe around the emptiness in my chest????
#my dad is like#you can't just be in your room all the time then what's the point of you living here if ill be sitting here all alone then#and im like bhai what#mom also says this to me she always wanted to sit and rant and she used to say you never talk to me#both of these people don't even fucking get it that they're not even interested in me listening to me#mom just wants a sounding board for her venting and dad just wants someone to pretend everything is okay and happy all the time and#the only important things in life is the immediate present and food and making money and stuff#i swear this is why i feel so ????? about myself my identity like no i can't describe myself#because there is no myself there is just a white sheet of paper where people can write whatever they want#im so tired man#why can't they just go and live with each other and leave us kids out of it 😭🙏#like i genuinely am getting teary eyed about such a small thing but god. i want to have my own life so bad. im sick of feeling all these#complicated emotions guilt and anger and pity and obligation and duty like just god pls fuck off#people my age are so fucking mature and put together than me so confident so clear about their path#have friends partners breakups parties just so many new memories#and im just stuck.#and im fine with it now because i get it studying is really important and this is quite basic requirement to be perfect at#atleast my syllabus to survive in this industry#but then. let me do that only. please don't make me pretend to like you like spending time with you and everything#ive hated you for like. idk 14 whole years. since the first time you hit mom in front of me#i remember it so well like my childhood broke that day you slammed her into a wall for some stupid fight and her hair was all messy and#untied and you shouted so loud i thought surely everyone can hear. and then you left to roam around the city at night with your friends#i remember this because my mom and my sister sent me to check up on you with the excuse of a painting of a parrot that i had made#i didn't understand anything back then#but yeah fuck you fuck you fuck you for being so fucking delusional thinking i love you or something#ive prayed to god that you die and i still do#it would directly mean 4 people being happy#anyway#dni#this was meant to be fun and short lol fuck
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tired of being called inconsiderate and rude the second I say something thats not exactly in a nice tone when my brain is working 3× more to be considerate of everyone and everything else 99% of the time.
#i feel like im actually going insane#my own sister backs up her husband (who i now see in a different light ((negative)) over me#and I was understanding at first. fine. maybe I do need to pick up after myself more maybe i am messy#and my friends and family even told me that because theyve brought it up so many times now maybe i am the problem and thats okay#so i. like yeah. okay i take up too much space. i'll step back. i stay out more. i'll clean my dishes right after i use them#i already do all that#and then today she DOES IT AGAIN!! and i broke down cause she basically said this is the last warning#you need to start looking for a new place (ive been saving up PENNIES for years. it'll take 3 full months of salary to even rent a ROOM)#it took me even longer cause i was unemployed for 6 months and had to use EVERYTHING I HAD SAVED#and i gave up. im back at home and i gave in. i took a video of my room and the living room and asked my friend#is there really anything else i have to do because i am TIRED AND I CANT SEE WHATS WRONG AND WHATS MESSY PLEASE#because fuck i feel like im actually INSANE cause the way my sister has been wording it to me its like im so messy#and my friend just replies..... i am so sorry for ever being on your sisters side because you are not messy at all#and the RELIEF i felt. the weight off my shoulders LIFTED OFF INSTANTLY#IM NOT CRAZY!!! IM NOT MESSY!! IM HUMAN AND NORMAL#im just so upset right now cause it just dawned on me that.... not a single person in my famiy has my back the way i have theirs#not even my own sister.... and im tired.#personal
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checked my bank account 8262848585 dead 15 injured
#WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE 3 DOLLARS.#ITS THE FUCKING SUBSCRIPTIONSSS BUT I NEED A SUBSCRIPTION TO KEEO MT ART FILES BACKED UP AND A MUSIC SUBSCRIPTION OR ILL KILL MYSELF#im going to go insane. and the gas money. and the food. and the pair of earrings and trinkets i got from ren fair because if i#came home with nothing for my last ren fair and my friends came home with a lot of stuff id kill myself of jealousy.#BEING ILL ISRUINING MY LIIIDE#how am i going to survive in the real world if i cant make 40 dollars last a WEEK#my friends need to stopctaking me places im so broke but i cant say no bc if i dont hang out with my friends when they go out i will end it.#GEAHHHHHHHHHH#WOLRD PLEASE BE NICE TO ME PLEAAASEEEE IM UNEMPLOYED AND IM SO SO TIRED AND BUSY ALL THE TIME#i need to start my commissions this week but literally every time i have free time im too tired and use it to lie down and scroll or i get#fixated on literally anything else i need to STOPPPP I NEED DISCIPLINE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#yelling into the void complete. i wil lgo on to change nothing about this becaude i have no discipline#vent#txt#delete later
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HhrHG
#Cade.vnt#money is. really tight. mom is panicking all the time because we barely have money to buy food n she#doesn't know how we're going to afford to use the heat this winter#the only reason i still have wifi is because my brother pays for it#our washer is broken and our garbage disposal broke.#everything costs so much fucking money i am simply tired. existing and living costs so much fucking money im tired#i need to go to the doctors n try n get someone to lisren to me but who knows ehen i'll be able to#i need to try n get disability but they've denied me twice.#been trying to get a appointment w a therapist but no one ever returns our calls or takes my insurance#i am going insane. every resource i've tried using doesn't fucking work#i have been trying to get help for the past 3 years and it seems like no one gives a shit#i'm going to curl into a ball and let myself rot i think at this point.
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i do not want to get out of bed omfg. this week has been so fucking insane im exhausted but we have aprogram tonight until 7 and i have to facilitate and there are a million things to do today
#but i got my p*riod and cotaught on tuesday and broke up w my counselor on monday and a few days before that redacted redacted so im ph#physically and emotionally exhausted but we have this program tonight until 7 and then 2 trainings tomorrow andi have like 2 meetings inbetw#between those. and i just want to sleep and/or lie down w a heating pad bc my cramps have been brutal this time around. literally could#barely get work done on tuesday bc i was in AGONY and forgot my heating pad and no one could bring it to me from home but it s like i have n#nowhere on campus to lie down or get checked out or anything bc im not a student anymore so i need to just writhe at my desk (<- i have one#of those now finally btw 🥹💗) and jusf hope i don’t pass out. and i didn’t but it was so bad and im not recovered from it yet. idk.#everything is so much. there are some intense and in some cases horrible things happening. iwwish we had time to pause and process them and#that we weren’t so tired and stretched all the time. i wish we didn’t have all these pressures to worry about. i wish we could just have#time to love each other and check in truly and to support each other bc we are friends before we are colleagues methinks and i jsut want us#to be ok and happy and rested and healthy. idk. augh#delete later#purrs#also i think i am not normal when it comes to cramps btw. i think maybe it might not be normal to be in this much pain. or maybe im just#weak or have a low pain tolerance but i feel like it’s a lot worse than it used to be + i get cramps at Other times too and it’s ummmm bad.#ask to tag#like how absolutely insane that this is a huge part of my life and i feel like i can’t even talk abt it and it’s so embarrassing but it#literaly is like.. every other week im scared that im gonna be unable to function bc of pain but i literally say nothing at all and just smi#smile and pretend im fine and barely talk abt it. i don’t think that’s good or normal. and i think ppl should talk abt p*ripds more so it’s#not as weird or bad or gross or cringe whatever to talk abt being in pain and to accommodate urself or whatever despite other ppl knowing#abt it. cringeeeee augh i don’t want to be one of Those people but like. it’s bad and i fucking hate it
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#our family got sick for the 3rd time since november and i am so so tired and drained#i literally havent been able to get a flu shot or anything because i just wish to recover more and the next thing i know we're all sick aga#*again;; i'm having 38.8 fever highest out of these 3 times and i am so nauseous i just want to d*e at this point#and we're so broke barely covering basic medicine and food this is not how i imagined 2023 start#i am so tired physically and mentally and worrying for everyone..#i heard ginger helps with nausea but it's so expensive here and idk how else to relieve this state im in;;;#i took 1g of paracetamol already but it's not really helping and there's no ibuprofen which works so much better for me but we're out of it#tbd
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i came back to the dorm and one of the turtles is straight up missing (...she's probably dead is my guess but i didn't wanna hit my roommate with that question during class yk) and the tank (which still contains a live turtle) is full of fucking BUBBLING algae my roommate's stuff was On My Bed the floor is. gross and roomie's cat's (pretty limited amount of) toys are nowhere to be seen (meaning he's attacking me and i have nothing to redirect him with) one of my baskets has been shredded and ??? one of my skirts (which was presumably hung up before i left) was found on the floor of my closet fucking dried stiff and stained both yellow AND glittery????? everything smells awful in a familiar way i can't quite identify and the floors are sticky in a bunch of places. what the FUCK is going on
#i don't have like a mop or anything! what am i gonna do sponge the floors down??#she said she doesn't remember if the closet was opened or closed but like. nothing i had in there could have done that to the skirt#(...probably? the only liquid i had in there was fucking. laundry detergent)#(and there's no evidence of that spilling or leaking)#im trying to figure out how reasonable it'd be to like. confront my roommate about this#she's got a lot going on and i am Not the kind of person who's gonna give her shit for some mess#but it was actually ridiculous this time#she was staying in the dorm over winter break and i wasn't. for context#side note but rascal has Another new bed? he doesn't even care about beds very much WHERE ARE HIS TOYS. HELP ME? PLEASE?#im so tired pls it's the FIRST DAY BACK#god im not smart enough for this. i asked her and she said she doesn't pay attention to whether or not my closet door#is closed and like fair ig but smth about it is off to me bc like How Else Would It Have Gotten Like That#im confident it was closed when i came in and it was almost certainly closed when i left like 5 weeks ago#but im. really not good at assessing whether or not ppl are lying to me. like idk maybe it was some kind of mysterious leak#or i hung it up to dry and it fell and dried weird (idr if it was wet or not when i left)#my own distrust of her for how she treats her animals AND my sympathy for struggling with caring for animals#in the midst of burnout/a very demanding life are at odds and both are biasing me in opposite directions#well anyway i can't unpack a lot of my stuff bc im just. confounded by it#i'll clean the floor over there later i just can't right now im too out of it#also rascal has been very sweet too he's just Extremely pent up over the whole 'small room with Literally Nothing to do all day' life he has#truthfully he smells/his fur feels kinda weird too but it might just be bc ive been gone for a bit#bc i feel like i remember that from last time too#i could forgive a lot of these things individually but all of them at once? man.#another entry in 'is she depressed or just not very considerate?'#(<- she's never mentioned anything approaching depression/etc i just can't imagine.. not being depressed)#but the turtle thing is the worst bc like. how do i even bring that up. i don't wanna reopen that wound yk#and while there's a bit of 'see i told you' going on she probably feels bad enough already right. maybe#but she also doesn't know Shit about how to care for turtles and ignored my warnings. that turtle was sick for months#and vets are expensive but she'll spend money on these high end shoes as they drop and then act too broke to get a $10 heat bulb. whatever#idk. i should've pushed her harder. it hasn't really sunken in yet but it's my fault too. guh
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#lol I got scared and thought my therapist was ghosting me#and i think i accidentally annoyed her because i messaged her Monday because I was trying to get an appointment last week but she was on#vacation and she didn't reply so i messaged her again today because i kind of urgently need an appointment because i am suicidal and having#thoughts about self harm big time and idk the way she replied just felt Off™ to me from normal you know but also could just be the rsd#the rsd which is exacerbated by these thoughts and feelings I'm having so like it's probably fine but my anxiety is through the roof and I'm#not taking my meds because lol idk. so like i just don't want to take them even though i know i should but i literally don't want to do#anything and it's a challenge to just get up and go to work like idk I'm trying not to call out because i keep doing that because i keep#having mental health issues and such but like this is the worst I've been in literally years#i am absolutely suffering in my own mind right now and if it wasn't for my family and the few friends i have and my dogs I'd probably#literally just end it all right now. like I'm not going to probably but like#idk i made a handful of suicide attempts when i was s teenager and obviously they all failed and i can't think of a painless way to die#and i don't have access to anything that would take me out quickly like a gun so like idk whatever i guess. I'm just here to suffer and be#miserable but it's probably what i deserve anyway tbh so like no big deal but like idk. just tired of life. i fail all the time. i fail at#work i fail in my relationships i fail my pets i fail my family i fail my friends it's all im good at is failing#tbh didn't even think I'd make it past 18 but now I'm approaching my mid twenties and I'm just kind of here doing whatever you know#I'm gonna go get high i think. need a fridge in my room for beer so I don't have to go get drunk at the bar#I'm broke anyway not like i can hop over there but also it's late and i have to sleep i guess for work that i have to force myself to go to#what a sad existence
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someone get me a job where all i have to do is sit there and maybe like send an email or two, and please make it not a scam ty
#every time i apply to something#and i get an email thats basically like “youre hired”#im like... well i guess ill keep looking#i am NOT getting involved in that shit#im so tired of being broke and not having a job but i dont want a job#cause these options are all so terrible#how am i supposed to live like this#this sucks#i hate the world we live in#everything is terrible and im forced to suffer to survive
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Godddd I just need everything to stop for a second
#im so fucking tired of working 65 hours a week and still being broke#im so fucking tired of throwing up and feeling nauseous all the goddamned time#im so tired of hating my jobs and my city and my house and my brain and my life#ive been sober for two months and feel worse than i have in years#i just want it to be overrrrrr already i cannot do 60 more years of this shit for real#i cant even call out of work tomorrow because i open at one job and close at the other and there's no coverage#because theres never any fucking coverage#and i work food service so sorry to anyone who gets a mocha from my pukey ass tomorrow#literally its only been two weeks with no days off and im already dying how the FUCK am i supposed to do this till january
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Everything just stacked up and I finally broke down crying in my car last night and I've just felt dead and empty from then to now... I was doing so much better
#finally getting an apartment moving in less than 2 weeks#just to have this bs happening in my state and i cant even enjoy it#immediately have to start getting prepared to move again#i never wanted to leave my home town leave my family and friends#and now i have to go across the country in less than a year#then ive been having bad feelings about personal relationships#and thats been upsetting me in angry and im sad and im tired#its happened way too much where i feel like i am a nuisance and just like im an afterthought#not even going into the things im upset about on behalf of others#and then both cats that weve had to wait to adopt because we didnt have an apartment#thay ive been looking at for so long got adopted#im happy they got a home but man#that didnt feel great#that and i got splashed with trash nultiple times after i found that out just kind of like was it#and after i got off work i broke down#i hate this i hate being#i need to get over it because i know it can be better i know it can but god#it feels like so much in my head at once#and i just want to break something and scream#and let out all my frustrations and feel the sting from the aftershock of my bat hitting anything
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trying to pull myself out of this depressive rut that i've been in for more than a month feels so impossible..
#feels like i'm losing a battle with myself#i'm tired#i have nothing left rn lol#feels like i've been joking abt how sad i am but i#literally don't have anything left rn...#like it's kinda painful feeling this way everyday ...#lol#i put everything into making gifs again#and i still feel so empty#and now that 5star promotions are over i guess i feel like what's the point all over again#i'm tired...#whatever...#i feel so selfish but i hope i can disappear one day...#i wish i could run away from my own life...#it sounds so dramatic when i say i have no reason to be happy but lol...#but it's true... i have nothing anymore like what am i supposed to do.... i feel so empty#my ex and i were talking and he told me he's sorry that we broke up but was relieved in a way bc he hated worrying abt me all the time#i get it lol...#just feeling like a burden to even myself at this point...#im so tired ah...#dl#neg#sorry ...#i don't feel like i can breathe idk why it hurts sm
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Never Have I Ever… | E.M x Virgin!Reader
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TJ’s 2K Request celebration!
@nailbatanddungeon : “I have a request for youuu. Okay, this is Eddie x Virgin!reader, reader is still new to everything, but there is one thing that the reader needs but is scared to push because the reader is TOUCH STARVED (So am I)”
Cw: reader and Eddie are in their mid to late 20’s, touch starved virgin!reader, angst, fluff, alcohol, throwing up(too much alcohol consumption), hangovers, fingering, oral (f receiving), p in v, protected sex. Friends to lovers
WC: 3.1k
I hope you enjoy!! 💗
“You’ll get there; you’re just a late bloomer, is all”
A late bloomer, you’ve heard it your whole life- and you’re sick of it. Sick of feeling behind in life? You’re in your twenties now and getting absolutely shit-faced because you’ve never done anything in this game of never have I ever.
You, Nancy, Steve, Eddie, Robin, Jonathan, and a few others were at the block party, and you somehow ended up involved in the juvenile game.
“Never have I ever kissed the same gender,” you drank.
“Never have I ever dumped anyone,” you drank.
“Never have I ever smoked weed,” you drank.
“Never have I ever said the wrong name in bed.” That’s rich because you’ve never been in a bed with anyone to begin with.
You hadn’t relized how much you’ve had to drink until you stood up.
“Woah, you okay?” You hear Nancy speak as you wobble.
You had wanted to get up and get more to drink because, unlike the others, your cup was empty.
“Yeah.” You tried to get out, but it sounded more like a grunt to the others.
Ignoring their protests, you stumbled your way back to the kitchen, feeling sorry for yourself.
You fumble with the lid of the hard liquor bottle until a strong ring-clad hand clasps over yours. You freeze, pissed off and embarrassed, knowing who the hand belongs to.
Even in your inebriated state, you get that same feeling whenever he is around you. You feel the heat in your cheeks instantly as the butterflies in your stomach irrupts.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Sweetheart.”
You look down, not wanting to see the look on his face.
“I don’t care” you slur. God, you will hate yourself in the morning.
Of all people, it had to be Eddie to come and check on you?
That’s how he was—always worried, always babying you because you “weren’t experienced in life,” according to his words, and it made you mad! It made you seem like a child, and you were sick of people treating you as such. You were a grown woman, you had a 9:00-5:00, an apartment, and a degree, but none of that mattered—not when it came to dating and love.
“Sweetheart, please, you need to slow down.”
“Why?” You rolled your eyes. “I’m a big girl I can handle my alcohol.” You huffed.
“I just think— "
"IM TIRED OF WHAT YOU THINK!" you've had enough. No one took you seriously, and you couldn't help that Eddie happened to be the only one to feel your wrath.
"Woah, okay-okay, I’m sorry."
“I’m sick of everyone treating me like a child!" the dam broke, and streams of mascara fell down your cheeks.
"I don't think you're a child." Eddie timidly reached out his comforting hand.
"Yes, you do."
"When have— "
"ANY TIME WE ARE OUT, EDDIE! Like last week at the bar, I was so close to getting that guy's number and you swooped in acting like my father!"
"Sweetheart I—"
"Don't sweetheart me!" You cut him off once again. "It's demeaning."
"y/n. Let me take you home. We can talk about this tomorrow."
"I don’t want to."
"Too bad we are going." Eddie no longer gave you a choice. He took your hand and started to pull you along with him.
You stumbled, tripping over your feet because your balance was gone completely.
“Woah, see my point exactly.”
“Shut up.” You mumble, and Eddie can’t help but stifle a laugh. You were so cute.
Eddie didn’t mean to make you think you were juvenile…. He admired you and wanted to protect you; you were a woman to him, all women. He liked you; he really liked you. The only reason he swoops in is because he doesn’t want you with anyone who isn’t him, not because he doesn’t think you’re not capable… He dreams about how capable you can be. He just didn’t have the balls to say it to your face.
The thought of you not having any experience never even crossed his mind. He still had no clue you’d never been intimate with someone; he didn’t even know how inexperienced you were until the game. He watched and raised an unknowing brow each time you took a gulp.
Eddie took your keys from your hands and unlocked your front door for you. The whole car ride had been eerily silent. You didn’t dare speak a word without the threat of vomit coming up with it.
You silently stumbled into your home. Eddie followed closely behind. He helped you take off your sneakers. He led you to the bathroom and found some makeup wipes to help you take off your makeup, but halfway through, you turned to the toilet as the tequila made its way back up.
That’s when you broke; you were so embarrassed. “What’s wrong with me?” You cried.
“Nothing is wrong with you, swee-.” But he cut himself off, remembering that you scolded him earlier in the evening.
“Yes, there is something wrong with me! Nobody wants me.”
“That’s not true.” Eddie stroked the back of your head as you emptied out the contenders of your stomach into the porcelain bowl.
“Then why am I still a virgin?!” You sobbed.
Eddie was stunned, speechless. He had no idea. He just thought you didn’t like sharing your sex life, not that you didn’t have one.
So he let you cry into his chest. Your tears stained his shirt, but he didn’t care; he was here to take care of you.
“Come on, let’s get you to bed,” he guided you after he helped you ride your mouth out.
You crashed as soon as your head hit the pillow. Eddie thought of leaving but was worried you would need him if you woke up, so he took the couch.
You awoke with a throbbing pain pounding in your head. You were never drinking again. The night was murky; you started remembering bits and pieces but not everything. You get up and notice the bottle of painkillers and a glass of water you definitely didn’t put there.
Then you remembered Eddie bringing you home and let out an aggravated groan. How could you have been so messy? And in front of Eddie, out of all people? Why couldn’t Robin and Nancy bring you home? What did you say to him? Were you mean? Did you yell at him? You remember crying, but the reasoning was foggy.
You begrudgingly take the water and pills and almost gag, trying to get them down, but you manage. You also smell like a minibar, so you strip and walk to your bathroom.
After a long hot shower, you get dressed and must put some food into your empty stomach.
You walked past a sleeping Eddie, not seeing him curled up in the living room, and started noisily making yourself some breakfast.
“Is that the way you wake up all your guests?”
You screamed as you threw the fork you had in fright.
“Eddie, what the fuck?!” You clench your chest as you take big breaths to calm your racing heart.
“Sorry, Angel”
Angel… that’s new? It’s always been sweetheart.
“I didn’t know you stayed?”
“Yeah… you um. Were in pretty rough shape last night, I didn’t want you to be alone... so I slept in the couch. I hope that’s okay”
“Thank you, Eddie, I’m sorry I ruined your night.” You looked down, ashamed.
“You didn’t ruin it.” He shook his head.
“Well, I owe you one,” you giggle awkwardly. Eddie and you hardly ever hang out one-on-one.
“How are you feeling?”
“Like absolute shit.” You hand Eddie a black coffee.
“Yeah, well, you really went hard in that game of never have I ever.”
You met out a moan of embarrassment. Your memory came flooding back.
Mortification consumed you as you didn’t want to look Eddie in the eyes. You cried in his arms last night after you puked your guys out.
“Oh god”
“It’s okay, Angel. Nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“What happened to sweetheart?” You tried to change the subject.
“You said it was demeaning…”
“Oh god, I did?” You peek up and see Eddie silently nod his head yes.
“I’m sorry, it’s not… I like the nickname. I just…. I was feeling so emotional last night, and the alcohol.” You tried not to gag at the thought.
“S’all good.” He shrugged. But he was replaced to hear you liked being called sweetheart. It suited you; he didn’t call anyone else that, either. It was reserved just for you.
“Um, so about last night, you mentioned nobody wanting you….” Oh god, was he really doing this now? “I don’t think that’s true.” Yes, he was.
“Huh?” You sit up, taking a sip of your coffee.
“You cried about how you didn’t think anyone wanted you, but it’s not true… I want you.”
Did you hear that right? Did you get water in your ears from the shower?
“You do?” Your eyes widen.
“Yeah,” he looks at you sheepishly.
“Oh?” You were in shock.
“Shit-I-I’m sorry, I ruined everything.” Eddie stood up, but you stood up with him, not wanting him to leave.
“No, Eddie, wait!” You grab his shoulder and turn him to face you. You couldn’t let him leave, not now.
“Sweeetheart, please let me be mortified in peace.”
“Kiss me.”
Eddie stares at you before you tell him one more time.
“Kiss me, Eddie.”
Then you feel his hands grip the back of your head and pull you in.
You didn’t think anything could cure your hangover but this comes pretty damn close.
You melt into his touch, his hands cup your head, your hands find his waist. It feels right, so right you think you’re floating.
No one had kissed you in what felt like years, and maybe it had been, but it was worth the wait.
Hands danced around one another’s bodies, and tongues and teeth clashed. It was messy; it was needy.
“Woah woah woah, sweetheart, hold on.” Eddie pulled back breathlessly.
“What’s wrong?” You look up at him, concerned…. Had he changed his mind?
“I think we should slow down.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Sweetheart, it’s okay. We have time.”
“No.” You shook your head. “I’ve waited long enough.”
“Sweetheart, I don’t think—"
"No! I need this, I want this." You look him dead in the eyes.
"You tell me if you want to stop, okay? Promise me."
"Okay, Eddie."
Eddie waists, not another second to take you in a feverish kiss. His hands roam your body, landing on your ass. It excites you so much you can feel the familiar tingling ruminating lower and lower.
You moan his name and press your whole body into his; you need to feel him, all of him… and you can. His hard cock is digging into your hip bone, and you connect your bodies.
Stumbling back without breaking the kiss, Eddie leads you to your bedroom. You fall backwards onto your bed with a gasp.
hovering above you is Eddie. You can see the lust behind his eyes as he scans your body.
"If im doing anything you don't like, tell me. This is about you, okay?"
“Okay,” you breathe as he lowers down to his knees. You watch his hands run up the tops of your thighs before spreading them wider so he can have access to where he wants you the most.
Running his fingers down your centre, you can’t help but moan at the feeling. You are greedy; you want to feel everything all at once.
Wasting no more time, you pull down the stretchy waistband of your pants and yank your underwear down with it. No time to be self-conscious- the need to feel Eddie fueled your desire.
“Beautiful,” Eddie whispered as he left a trail of kisses up your thigh, hovering just above your mound.
“Can I taste you?”
“Yes, please. Take care of me, I want it so bad,” You whine desperately. If you weren’t so horny, you’d be embarrassed by your words, but with Eddie, everything felt right.
Eddie’s lips latched into your soaked pussy, and you watched as his eyes rolled back in enjoyment. He didn’t hold back; he wanted this to be the best head of your life, even if it’s the only head of your life. You grip his hair in your fist, not expecting the pleasure to ripple through you so quickly.
“Taste so good, sweetheart; I wanna live in this pussy.”
“Oh god!” You cry as a single digit breaches your wanton hole.
Slowly, with his tongue and his finger pumping into you, you’re nearly there. Considering how long you’ve waited for this moment, it doesn't take much more. You’re cumming within minutes.
“Good girl, you okay?” he slaps the inside of your thigh and your body jerks.
“More,” you beg. It wasn’t enough; nothing would be able to satiate you until his cock was deep inside you.
“You sure? We can stop if you’re not ready”
“Need you now.” You grab him by the shirt collar and pull him towards you for a searing kiss.
“Okay,” he mumbles into your mouth, crawling up your body.
You loved the feel of his weight on top of you, consuming you with every kiss.
“Want you, Eddie” you moan as your hands toy with the hem of his shirt.
“You have me.” He dips his head lower to caress your throat with his lips.
Your breath hitches when you feel his teeth scrape across your soft, delicate skin.
Eddie didn’t lift his head until he was satisfied with the dark mark left on your neck.
When he unlatched from your throat, you demanded he take his clothes off.
Eddie loved your eagerness; he saw a spunk in you that he could only have dreamed of.
You also removed the rest of your clothing as he stripped.
When Eddie removed his last layer over his head, he couldn’t help but ogle your body, the way your head sunk into the pillows, your breasts, your soaked pussy on display for him. He was devouring you with his eyes.
You motion him to you with a single finger, breaking him out of the trace you put him under.
“God, you’re so beautiful.” Eddie was like a feline the way he crawled up on the bed to you.
The heat rushed to your cheeks; somehow, this felt more intimate than what he was doing between your legs a moment ago.
“I want you,” you repeat yourself.
Eddie cups your face, and you cup his in return. His eyes bore into your soul, leaving not a trace unturned as he searched your entire being before kissing you one more.
You moan into his mouth, and Eddie’s cock grazes your mound collecting your slick as his hips ground into you.
“Ready?” He asked desperately; he needed to be inside of you.
“Yes.”
He quickly got up and you moaned,
“What are you?- oh,” you blush
You see him reach for his pants pocket for his wallet as he pulls out a condom.
Quickly he rips it open, and your mouth waters as he rolls it over his cock. This is the first time you’re seeing what he looks like down there, and you’re getting nervous because how is that supposed to fit?
“Sweetheart? You'll be okay.” He smirks.
Cocky, shit.
“If I have to ask you again, I’m going to do this myself.” You huffed.
“Oh really? How do you suppose that?” He pounced back on top of you.
“I have my toys.”
Eddie’s head drops back. “We will get back to that later. Now I’m going to fuck you.”
“Finally”
Eddie doesn’t respond. He just slowly slides his cock through your slick folds collecting your natural lube before inching his way inside of you.
“I need you to relax, sweetheart.” You naturally clench around him. He was so tickled and long. Never had you felt so full, but little did you know Eddie was only a quarter-way in.
“Fuck you’re big,” you gasp.
“No need to stroke my ego, baby girl”
That made your pussy clench down again.
“Oh, you like that?”
You nod your head, yes, unable to speak.
“Noted”
You could kill him if he wasn’t making you feel so good.
“Eddie!” You scream as he finally reaches the hilt, gripping him like a koala you don’t want to let go.
“Fuck, this pussy is so tight” Eddie slowly works his hips in and out of you; with each thrust, you can feel his bush brush against your clit, and it sends a tingle down your spine.
You moan in response; everything feels like it is on fire; never had you expected this level of sex. No wonder everyone is obsessed with it.
“Harder”
“You sure”
“Yes, god yes!”
Eddie's hips snap into you with such force your head almost hits the headboard. The bed is rocking; you have never experienced something so wanted, so needed, so absolutely taken over by someone else.
“Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!” You chant his name, which only makes him go harder. His fingers dug into your hips, gripping you so hard, not ever wanting to let you go.
“Fuck me, this pussy s'good.” He spits through his teeth. His primal side is showing, and you can't get enough.
Nothing can again amount to this amount of pleasure; you're ruined for life.
"You close, baby girl?" Edie smirks when he feels you clamp don't on his cock when he spits out the words.
A guttural moan is unleashed from your throat in response because, god, you're so close.
The pressure building inside of you is about to burst as Eddie's calloused fingers find your sensitive clit.
"Come on baby, I know you gotta another one for me. I know you do."
Eddies words tipped you over the edge. Your body seized as his thick cock continued to pump into your greedy pussy. Your orgasm took over, and Eddie watched you silently scream for him.
Before you became overstimulated, Eddie also came shortly after, only a few more pumps, and he spilled himself into the condom.
With Eddie beside you huffing and puffing, you couldn't wipe the stupid grin off your face.
"That good, huh?"
"I don't want to stroke your ego, but yeah... fuck me" You hid your face.
"I just did." Eddie rolled over to kiss all over your face and you can't help but giggle.
"I hope we can do that again," you shy away.
"Oh, we are one thousand percent doing that again. "
Tagging some mooties: @littlexdeaths @xxbimbobunnyxx @voyeurmunson @rowanswriting @lofaewrites
@starkeysprincess @strangerstilinski @taintedcigs @mmunson86 @paybacksawitch @stardancerluv
#Eddie Munson x you#Eddie Munson x reader#Eddie Munson smut#Eddie Munson x female reader#Eddie Munson x virgin!reader#Eddie Munson imagine
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