#and thats been upsetting me in angry and im sad and im tired

[thusgalanthus]

Everything just stacked up and I finally broke down crying in my car last night and I've just felt dead and empty from then to now... I was doing so much better

[blissfali]

i need to complain and be miserable but its gonna involve me dropping my fragile facade of coolness for a moment and i need everyone to be really chill about it and remember how cool and awesome and collected i usually am

[yeondollie]

ʙᴀᴍ ʏᴀɴɢ ɢᴀɴɢ ౨ৎ ♡ .ᐟ

'i closed the chapter on the days we spent together.'

. . warnings ; ANGST .ᐟ, breaking up, argument, fem reader, taehyun is kinda mean, crying, heartbreak, reader is needy, taehyun gets annoyed of reader, just over all sad ecfhuehfusih !!

a/n ; i have been listening in bam yang gang on repeat its so so so good but so sad :(. the beat is so adorable and so is bibi i love her sm sm but the song is so sad and as soon as i heard it i thought about making a story with it . this is just a drabble so i dont have a word count sorry :< anyways, enjoy !! ₊˚⊹ ᰔ

"why do you want so much out of me? can i have some peace and quiet to myself? god.." here we were again. arguing with taehyun was getting more and more common, though you hated it. taehyun knew you were a sensitive person and didn't like conflict but you were just pissing him off lately.

you didn't know what to say really. though you were only trying to check up on him after work, he wasn't having it. "it's like you're attached to my hip, truly." you suck in the tears in your eyes as he says this. you didn't wanna fight, you just wanted to please him in any way you could.

"yes i-i.. i'll give you time. i’m sorry." you say, tearing still welling in your eyes. this, for some reason, set taehyun off completely. why couldn’t you stand up for yourself? it was pathetic in his eyes. “see! thats why im upset. you’re like a doormat- you get walked all over, it’s pathetic.” he scoffs, letting out a small laugh even.

holding the tears back, about to flow, you mutter out some words. “you’re r-right, i’m s-sorry.” you sniffle a bit, looking up at the ceiling to avoid the tears falling out of your eyes. you’ve never felt more pathetic in your life, it was such a horrible feeling. taehyun didn’t seem phased at all, walking up and getting in your face.

“so thats it? sorry? you think thats gonna fix everything?” he says, his face only inches from yours. it was weird, usually when he was this close he would be kissing you or looking at you longingly but no. not this time, not anymore. the only time he looked at you was with lust or anger behind his eyes.

it felt like the two of you would only have sex or only argue, it was tiring- so tiring. he used to hold your cold hand in his own warm hand. he used to kiss your forehead and play with your hair, what happened? the tears flickered down your cheek as you answered him. “t-tyun i.. i don’t know what else to d-do.” now quickly wiping your own tears.

when he realizes you’re crying, he doesn’t bat an eye. its like all his love for you was drained from his heart- you hated it so much. “you know what _____? we’re done. i cant fucking do this with you anymore. you’re just so.. so needy and dumb!” he raises his voice, now watching you flinch in front of him.

you didn’t even have the energy to stop him, watching him with blurry eyes. watching how much he changed over the span of you two dating was shocking and saddening to you. oh how you longed for the sweet taehyun you once had.

before he could exit your house, forever saying bye to him you did one last thing. “taehyun..?” you whisper, not even having the energy to talk loudly. “what?” he whips back at you. you grab his school name tag he gave you, when he first confessed his feelings for you when the two of you were still in high school.

grabbing his name tag, along with your own- you walked up to him gently. you placed your name tag in his hand, looking into his angry eyes. “so you can remember me, you promised me you’d never forget me right?”

his eyes flickered with sympathy one final last time.

[bunny-heels]

giant vent post.

i think ive reached an actual breaking point. i havent had a breakdown this bad in such a long time and it stills feels horrible now as it did back then. i cant really think properly, not straight at least anyway. im going to ramble on and probably have a really hard time connecting everything together. but whatever.

at some point in my teens i developed a hyper self awareness. i would have that part of my brain that always thought rationally, like it was made up of a court of people or was some sort of other entity entirely. its always aware of what i was doing, if im doing something stupid, out of anger, irrational, selfish. its the "adult" part. it knows better than me, it knows right from wrong. and its not even like a "voice in the back of my head" or anything. its a very vocal and very upfront part of my brain thats there all the time. and it still is as im writing this. its never left.

my self awareness is really, really strong. it is pretty much my personal therapist. i think ive been through so much mental trauma in my life that my brain has just developed this as a safety net or firewall or whatever. and i mean it works a lot. only time it doesnt is when im really really depressed. like close to actually self harming or making a plan to kill myself levels.

i remember when i tried self-harming once, using really shitty dull scissors. that self-aware part of my brain was there the whole time, kept telling me this was a bad idea, there was no point in doing it and it would only hurt me and my loved ones if i succeeded in actually causing damage. i heard it the entire time. but i still went through with it and tried so hard to get through my own skin. i couldnt and i finally gave into the self aware and realized i shouldve listened to it sooner cause yeah, its not worth it to hurt myself just to regret it later.

my self awareness knew better like it always does. and like i said, its basically my therapist now. i barely even vent anymore because of it. i used to vent and rant a lot. i did it weekly pretty much because i had my little spaces where i thought i could let my emotions out and then i'd be able to go along with my day. then i had a friend of mine be passive aggressive towards me once because i guess they finally got sick of seeing of my rants on their timeline. and even my own mom told me i shouldnt be talking and showing my sensitive side so much online. then my stupid autism mistook someones joke for being real and i got so embarrassed i tried my best to seem like i was talking about someone else. and then i made friends with people where all they would do is rant and vent and rant and vent and rant and vent. and i got so, so tired of it to the point where i wanted to try everything i can to not be like them.

after that i barely ever ranted or vented again and only did it on very very very few occasions and only in places my friends could see. but every time i felt my emotions grow, my self aware side will just come in and be rational.

"dont think much about what these people online are doing, you know theyre just hateful and spiteful. theres no point in wasting your thoughts and emotions on them. do something you like instead."

"yeah the world is horrible right now. there are children dying and families being torn apart and innocent people being put through torture. and you feel guilty that you cant help them or that you dont deserve to be sad because youre not the one going through it. but its okay to be sad about people you dont know or how bad the world gets, and you dont need to justify your sadness. you know its different for everyone."

"you're reasonably upset about this thing, youre getting angry and there being no progress made is just making your mood worse. but font blow up. you know better than to yell at the people who dont and you dont want it to seem like youre annoyed with them or that you dont care. anger doesnt solve anything. you need patience and to be understanding. you shouldnt act extreme unless the situation really calls for it. then its justified."

if i have an urge to vent, i'll vent to my self awareness. if i get angry, my self awareness will calm me down. if i'm confused, my self awareness will look at everything it can. if i'm doing something i shouldn't, my self awareness lets me know. if i get bad impulses, my self awareness keeps me under control. my self awareness knows best. its the better half of me. its the part of me that i wish i could fully be 24/7. but i just cant.

and to be honest, my self awareness is also my enemy.

"i know you feel like venting but, look at all the problems these other people have. you dont need to talk about your problems with anyone. just use your brain and you'll be fine."

"theres already someone in this group that brings the mood down all the time. they talk negative about themselves and their life. you already feel bad for not being able to do anything. why add on to the list of people who cry and complain? you cant take care of your own issues just fine."

"is this the best time to be going to this person to vent and rant? i mean you have no idea what theyre doing right now. they could be busy, they could be in a good mood and you dont wanna bring them down. what if they dont even want to hear about your problems right now? its best if you just figure it out yourself for now. youre smart, you dont need other people when you already know what to do."

i remember in late elementary and during my whole middle school years, my mental health was the lowest its ever been. during middle school, almost every day was the same. i'd have an okay or mediocre time at school, i'd come home, feel relief for a bit and maybe hang out with friends, then all the sudden this wave of sadness flowed through me. it would hit hard and all at one. i would always have to get away from my computer, climb into bed, and cry. sometimes it was over something that happened at school, sometimes over something online, sometimes something at home, and sometimes for no reason. but it would always happen. no matter what.

i isolated myself when i cried. i hated people seeing or hearing me cry or tear up. i would get made fun of for crying in elementary school, whether if it was from bullying or having issues with class or the teacher. i was and am still really really sensitive. and i was always treated terribly every time i showed it. so when i got emotional or upset, i hid myself away. no one gets bothered by me and i get bothered by no one. eventually after learning some things about psychology and getting a bit of therapy, my brain trained on that and i learned to deal with my emotions all by myself. i didnt need to talk to anyone anymore, no more making someone feel bad or having my problems be ignored or getting made fun of for my emotions. from now on all my problems stayed my problems.

but i dont know how long i can keep going like this. i can rationalize a situation, i can regulate my emotions, i can do things at my own pace and never have to worry about burdening someone or myself ever again. im doing it all myself. im doing it alone.

i dont want to do it alone anymore.

i want to talk to people about my problems again. i want to rant and vent and ramble and scream about things that piss me off and make me upset. i wanna yell while i rant to my friends about something that made me angry. i wanna vent about having a shitty day. i wanna be able to message a friend and tell them i feel like shit. i wanna be able to call a friend while crying and saying that i wish things were better. i wanna be able to talk about how much the world sucks. i wanna have moments where i talk shit about myself, talk about how im a miserable piece of shit and that i dont deserve to be loved and cared for. i dont deserve friends or family, i dont deserve nice things, i dont deserve to have fun, or have medicine, or have people listen to me, or care about me. i wanna scream that i dont matter and that no one cares about me.

and all i want after that is just someone to hug me.

i dont want to hear rational explanations about the world, or about how life and feelings work, or how the human brain works, or how fair and unfair things can be. i dont want cold hard truth. i dont want blunt. my brain already does it for me. i know im being irrational, i know im just upset, i know im just depressed, i knows things are unpredictable and that life isnt a straight path and that not everything is simple and things cant be fixed that easily and that theres always gonna be hard moments and i just have to accept it. i know. i know i know i know.

just please. i just want a moment to he comforted.

i want someone to listen. i want someone to sit there in silence as they hear my begs and pleads. i want them to not say anything as i scream about how terrible everything is. i want them quiet as i complain that life is awful and things should be easier. i dont want them to interrupt while i talk shitty about myself and call myself a horrible person. i dont want them to talk. i want them to listen. i want them to hear me when i cry and listen when i go on and on and on.

and when im finally finished speaking, and im gasping for air as my throat is all raspy from how much and how high ive spoken, and my face is red and i have a massive headache and my eyes and cheeks are soaked in tears and my whole body hurts, i just want them to get up, be right in front or next to me, and hug me.

i want them to wrap their arms around me and squeeze me tight against them. for them to put their hand on the back of my head and on my mid back and stroke both of them. for them to put my face in the croak of their neck. and to just hear them breath and whisper

"its okay. everything will be okay."

and i'll cry again. i'll cry so hard my whole face will hurt. my eyes will be bloodshot, my face is hot and bright red, my nose is snotty and runny, my whole body is tired, i look like a disheveled mess. and i'll cry into their neck. i'll let it all out.

and i want them to be okay with that. i want them to let me let go. i want them to let me have my moment of breaking down. and when im tired from it all, i want them to soothe me and tell me that everything will be okay. that im not a bad person, that im not ugly, that its okay that im sensitive, that im not a burden, that i deserve to be loved and cared for, that its okay for me to cry, its okay for me to have these moments of weakness, that im not alone, that its okay for me to let it out.

that i dont have to care of myself anymore and theyll be there for me no matter what.

i'll have them and they'll have me.

but even now when im getting close to finishing this, feeling like i finally have let myself have a moment of vulnerability.

that voice comes back, it creeps in at the last few words.

"you do have people that care about you. of course theyre there for you. you know you have people that care. dont pretend they dont exist."

they do exist.

i know they exist.

but

what if theyre busy.

[ghost-of-the-machine]

or.. ill be upset about something else. i feel angry

i make too many excuses for everyone in my life. you ask them to walk all over you if it makes them feel better. i let you

im allowed to be a little spiteful, im allowed to be bitter!!!

its just. id say? bpd gives me the most problems like. even the whole. brain not put together thing is less cumbersome than that shit. what a painful way of life, so extreme and tiring.. it rips me apart and then puts me back together so suddenly, im high off the buzz until its ripped away from me again. thats how everything feels, it makes me want to just... sleep. for a very very long time

like most if not all disorders, its not my fucking fault i have to live like this, its theirs. im glad i was born... because i wouldnt be where i am now and i dont want to think about that. but? you couldnt have spared me a little time? ive been so violently aware of myself and all my flaws since i was little, like. LITTLE little. between offhand comments that i overanalyzed religiously and based my sense of self on, to just. being ALONE. that was no place for a kid to grow up. dark and dingy and cold and there was bugs everywhere and. there wasnt always someone to make food for me, i got food poisoning so many times cuz you cant let a fucking 7 year old cook for himself with no supervision? 'cook' is a generous word, id literally just grab cold shit from the fridge and eat it. several times i drank alcohol on accident cuz there was just water bottles full of alcohol left around my house. and lord, was it dirty.. not to mention the blood. and the violence, and screaming.. and they wonder why im the way i am now? i feel... ruined. it makes me angry. couldnt you have saved me from all of that? couldnt you have made it better for me? i was just a child, what could i have done? i did the most, though. put myself in front of others, learned to protect and . it was really naive of me, obviously these grown men arent scared of a little girl. but i tried, because everyone seemed like they needed someone to take care of them. i mean.. thats why they didnt take care of me, right? they needed it more! surely 💀

i got taken away by cps when i was really little, its one of my earliest memories. it was like a dream, every memory is like a dream to me.. but i remember that apparently, the agent on our case was corrupt or something, said we didnt have food when we did, etc and got us taken away on purpose. i think thats true, shes mentioned a case in the newspaper about it, but. my mom didnt want to give me up again. it took till i was about 8-9 before she finally sent me to live with my grandma again. maybe i wasnt there for very long, but... i am permanently altered 🥳🥳 YIPPIEEEE!!!!!

honestly it sucks. my dad is in jail where he belongs, ive never missed him a single day in my life, but.. i remember after, the only times id see my mom was brief visits at like. a facility. and i thought it was fun because there was places for me to play. it makes me.. really sad thinking about it now. i was about 4-5 around this time. idk. im not really angry anymore, im just sad now. i mean ill always be angry, but that just means ill always be sad too

so much... disruption. moving all over and leaving my friends behind, struggling to make new ones cuz . oh no1!1 that boy is developing attachment issues, i wonder where this will lead!!!! i latch on like a parasite to anyone i fall in love with, because im scared to be disrupted again. im scared itll be taken from me because everyone LOVES taking things away from me. my stability, my happiness, my family. my everything, just ripped away over and over again. no wonder bro doesnt know who he is!!!!!!!! what a waste.

[gayspock]

or something

its all so fucking empty man its all so fucking empty i dont know whyits so much easier for everyone not to even do things but just be a fucking person man i donteven care i feel like im just forcing it down my own throat half the time im just nto here any more i havent been here for years its never going to matter or mean anything i dont know i wish i could even be dramatic and be like ohhhh everyone leave me behindddd but wouldnt that imply that there was anything to begin with god idont know i dont know i jsut get angry and fucking upset over everything theres nothing that helps nothing that ever fucking helps its non stop its just that that that until you roll over and force yourself to shut up or die and either way it doesnt matter it never fixes anything part of just wishes i could feel it matter foronce i dont need it fixed i dont need it to be better ijsut want one thing to feel likeits meant something even a fucking little bit i think every day about that i wish i killed myself properly as a kid something something you'll regret it in your last moments i dont think ive spent a single fucking day where ive went to bed at night and thoguht that meant something i dont think a single day of my life has been anything to anyone but made me upset and miserable something something ive just been on this stupidfucking cycle for years and years and years. it has never not once been fucking worth it for a second living past that. i should have fucking died when i was 16 and sad. fuck every single fucking thing ive done since then and i mean that. something something loop and loop and loop you .want to kill yourself so badly and feel so overcome with loneliness and cry more because you cant make anything right start to fade out lose months let them go by until it breaks down again and back to that and theres no change its just back and forth ive not gotten anywhere ive circled in my fucking cage endlessly and i wish it mattered i wish a day fucking mattered i wish it could have meant something once just once i dont talk to anyone i just fucking sit and cry and its been so long and

i cant do it right i feel liek im insane sometimes because everyone talks about struggling it makes me want to fucking claw my eyeballs out the next fucking cutn to share their struggles with me . because yeah fucking sucks i wont say it doesnt suck nonetheless i feel like such a rancid fucking cunt for i. ecause god i want to fucking really hurt people sometimes. oh im sad so youre telling me oh youre alone youre fucking alone too. how the fuck does that make me feel when your parents love you you talk to people people would notice if you disappeared you have a partner or have had partners that love you. theres someone i cant manage anything i cant do it any more i never fucking managed it because its not just the now its not just oh it sucks now its just been a structural. its been everything its never not been fucking like this i keep tryng i feel like im just a freak and sometimes i wish there was something fucking wrong with me for real its jsut theres nothing in there worth sticking around for or loving and i know thats what it is deep down but i cant even simulate it properly i cant fucking muster anything i cant fake interests in things i cant fucking do it im too fuckig tired i dont wantto wake up any more i dont want it to get better because it fucking wont im fucking sick of ti im just waiting for it ot end and i just feel like everyonekeeps telling me it'll get there but its nothing but an excuse to get me to fucking shut up because it doenst matter its a fucking sit there and fucvking rot you fucking worthless bitch i wish theyd just be honest with me sometimes i wish anyone would just be fucking honest i wish people would have me around even if they dontlike me i dont care what happens any more i cant do it i keep trying i cant do it its just every fucking time i dont know i dont have it in me i dont have anything in me and it doesnt matter i wish it mattered ive tried and i just dont know what im doing wrong and im just always some bitter jaded assholeand i know its making it worse but i cant . fucking do it any more . i feel like im being insane or whatever oh you mustnttttttt ive been having insane thoughts about other shit again i feel so removed from everything and redacted or redacted how i cant do it cuz of work, thinking about taking a month out just so i can repeatedly redacted without anyone fucking getting in my business but who cares i think i should quit and well what then i dont know i need somehting to fucking stop theres nowjhere to go theres nothing to do DOES ANYONE FEEEL. CRAZY i feel like i get further every day and i was already so fucking removed i struggled so badly but the more and the more time i spendthe worse it fucking gets i cant fucking level with anyone any more and i cant get back by myself im not fucking enough to do it i dont man i think does anyone feel MENTAL

[pinkadork]

One day words will stop being exchanged and knowing you're more likely to be relieved than devastated or even a bit bummed is sending me

Like okay

Pause for a minute

Lets be real my tumblr page is like my public diary or whatever and like

Idk i look at shit and its sad how much through the entirety of this shit therapy or not ive been trying to see more than my side and be able to see my faults for what they are while also doing something about it but i swear im either villaianized or pacified by you in any given moment and then its like im both a dumb ass for wanting you so badly was and i feel like my feelings get overshadowed bc the bpd and oooh i take meds now, and you still treat me like like an abuser and thats what you tell people. And i just wanna stop feeling like I'll never be able to enjoy anything fr ever again. Even at my best i still have you on my brain when it feels like you're doing everything to erase me and then make me feel like thats the right response. I fucking hate this shit so much its like i sit here and I'm fine and then i keep fucking setting myself off with how upset this makes me. Like nigga i live in my aunt basement, i work in a fucking factory, im a fucking temp worker nigga , and yet and still my stupid ass is worried about who? Trying to figure out how to get right for who? Pathetic as shit.

I know you wouldn't do the same bc you didnt.

I'm so frustrated. it's unbelievable. I keep wrapping my head around how bs this all is, or how i swallowed how angry certain shit has had me.

Again nigga its been months and i know for a fact the same shit is being peddled.

You doing your thing is whatever but doing so and then trying to undermine the fact that itd hurt me (which you later admitted to trying to do anyway) nigga fucked someone then was like "i mean we broke up like 6 months ago so i did good right lol" fucking first of all at 6 months vs 5 years make it make sense, second of all it let me realize that the second time we tried when shit felt "so right" mesnt nothing to this nigga it was a good two months which for me made the breakup reset and st the time this happend made this like 4 months but as you can see by me writing this out who the fuck other than me cares about some weird shit like that. Regardless its like i have to be either high as hell or always working now more thsn ever to not walk into the very accessible highway.

I accepted that i ruined my life but holy fuck did you make it worse

I am forever sorry about how shit ended and every rude outburst ever spouted from my lips, any time i made you feel any negative way, but my brother in christ i didn't and dont deserve this shit and sometimes it really bothers me that i love you the way i do. You act scared of me like im obsessed but i feel like im going mad bc it was like you made me this way. From jump, the constant vc, the way youd make me feel insignificant or like i wasnt enough, and then have the nerve to try and make it a thing about my insecurities that yes i told you about but fuck.

I feel so dumb because i actually would wait until you're ready because i feel deep in my core that i fw you for life type shit. Its always gang shit whatever. I love you and want things to be okay regardless to how i feel .

Fuck im tired

[aliteralpileofgarbage]

the thing about being autistic is that-

(unnecessarily long and sad story under the cut)

the thing about being autistic is that i once had a very dear friend. I loved this person dearly. they were my first adult heartbreak.

i once had a very dear friend that i spoke to almost exclusively via skype as was custom of the time for awkward shut-ins still trying.

i had a friend i loved dearly telling me about a recent string of traumatic circumstances. i probably managed some 'oh no's and 'im so sorry's as i was drowning internally. im young, and i know i have trouble in these times. i say things to indicate that i am listening and I care. because i do. i care so much. inside i hurt for them. im clawing at my mind for something to say that could be useful. something reassuring or calming or validating. i am Actively Listening and full of empathetic suffering. I want to know how to make them feel better like a hangover begs for water.

i am Actively Listening to a friend i love dearly. they are upset and am upset for them, on their behalf, and angry at the universe for the mere existence of justice. I am actively listening and the conversation changes.

a person i love dearly sends me a screenshot of my face. there might have been concern there. an arch to the eyebrows maybe. i could see what they were about to say, though. i didnt look like i felt. the face was vacant. flat. maybe worried. but flat.

i have been told so many times that I dont care. ive been told i dont care because of ways i communicate poorly with others. ive been told i dont care because of things i cant do. i have been told that I dont care because of the ways i communicate poorly with myself.

i dont know how to tell you how much it hurts to be told that i dont care or am not trying because of features or flaws endemic to my personhood. thats why the story ends there. i dont have it in me to describe the absolute violence waiting for me behind the details of that hurt.

i care so much.

im so sorry for the times i cant communicate that by word or action.

the thing about being autistic is that im just so fucking tired.

[cyber-ii3]

today I'm mad at jace and Connor. Lately ive been reaching my wits end with them because i havent been liking the way they've been treating me, but i think i was pushed over the edge when Connor started being mean to my boyfriend. Earlier I asked Connor why he wasn’t including my boyfriend in our group calls and he was extremely rude by saying he didnt want him there and that he didnt want to talk to him. I thought they had a good relationship because they were having a good conversation at the party and my boyfriend thinks really highly of Connor so I felt really hurt when i realized that those feelings weren't reciprocated. I really wanted my friends to make an effort to be nice to my boyfriend but lately it feels like they've been shitting on him. Robert and Connor keep telling me my boyfriend is gay or is a twink and they keep making gay jokes about it but its making me uncomfortable. Every time i get mad they just laugh at me and its been really making me mad and sad for my poor boyfriend who has been trying really hard to be their friends. I really hate how they disrespect them like that and ive been expressing how irritated at Connor i am but jace is getting defensive. It makes me mad because they agree with everything Connor says, but when I insult Connor, jace gets mad at me. Its so hypocritical and I'm honestly just done and put up with their double standards. I also cant handle jace’s outbursts anymore. When theyre mad, they take it out on everyone around them, including me, and they never apologize for it. One day, I noticed jace was stressed at work so I asked how they were feeling and they told me to shut up and never ask them a stupid ass question like that ever again. It really hurt my feelings because I was really worried about them, and I know they were stressed but I didnt do anything to them. Even if they were stressed, they were treating their boyfriend kindly and even laughing with him. If you’re so stressed why can you offer connor a bit of kindness and not me? I thought we were suppose to be friends. Thats why I removed jace off of my spam. Im slowly trying to put distance between us because we still work together and I know its gonna be awkward but im just tired of feeling like I did something wrong or being used as a human punching bag. Even now, after I removed jace from my rant account, they immediately messaged me and they were angry. They accused me of venting about them when I wasnt. All I did was post that I didnt like how people were purposely trying to piss me off. The messages they sent made me feel extremely sad and guilty and i ended up ranting to my boyfriend about how sad I feel and I dont want to put that on him. Dealing with jace can be really exhausting and I hate how they put their boyfriends feelings first in front of everyone elses even if he started the fight. I overall just feel extremely sad that if its between me and connor, jace no longer sees me as a friend but as an enemy. Im more upset that jace always takes out their anger on me. They never snap at chloe or Mishi, its always me. I dont understand. Why is it always me that does something wrong? Is it because Jace knows I wont leave even if they hurt my feelings? Im tired of it. All I need is my boyfriend. I wish I could stay friends with mishi and chlo without having to talk to Jace. Im so upset that things turned out this way I even want to cry. I have feelings too. I cant just laugh everything off. I am especially hurt if you make fun of someone I love and care about so much. Im gonna take a break from instagram. 

[not-your-fucking-kacchan]

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

Aizawa x Reader (quirkless s/o) with a Flipping octo plush where it has an angry side thats pink and the happy side is red and its on its angry side. Or aizawa x reader (quirkless s/o) who paints theyres and aizawas nails with a cat face

-shuu

100% im putting both of these into one because uugghhh 😩😩

Masterlist<3

Aizawa x Reader - Pink Plushies

Fuck. The plushie is pink. What did he do now?

Shouta sighs, walking into your shared flat and sighing tiredly as he's met with the love of his life sitting on the bed and sulking. There's an obvious pout on your lips as you pointedly make a scene out of ignoring him, causing another ragged sigh to cue from the tired looking man before you.

This had all started earlier on the same day when you'd made a joke about getting matching nails and proposing to paint cats on his. He immediately declined of course, but he really didn't think you would ignore him for the whole day.

But here you are, staring at the wall stubbornly as he asks you what's wrong. He's too old for this.

Despite the fact that he is literally 25, but anyway.

You pout and your eyebrow twitches as he sits on the bed next to you, staring at you with a neutral expression and waiting for you to finish your tantrum. It's not fair that he was blessed with so much more patience than you.

You give in easily and sigh quietly, giving your lover a forlorn look and making his heart almost stop for a second. You look genuinely upset now, and he doesn't know what's wrong or if it's his fault or not, and the thought haas anxiety pooling in the pits of his stomach.

He could never forgive himself if he was the reason you look so sad right now, and he always tried his best to be active in this relationship and spend valuable time with you because he doesn't know what he'd do with himself if he ever lost you.

That is until you come out with your next words.

"Why didn't you let me paint your nails, Shouta?! I thought it would be cute- a-and we could match and everything-! Was the thought really that horrible to you?..."

He deadpans harder than ever before, looking at you as if he'd just been turned to stone while you rant at him and whine like a kicked puppy, crocodile tears pooling down your face and catching the light.

"... I-... I love you, honey, but im not letting you paint my nails, no."

The next fifteen minutes saw him staring down at prettily painted black nails with little white kitten chibis drawn on carefully. You really are talented, he muses, looking down at one of the finished nails and silently giving them starry eyes, encapsulated with them and absolutely charmed.

His head is adorned with a pair of cat ears that you had slipped on him as a joke, having yet to have taken them off yet as he stares at your masterpieces. Pretty, and soft hair falls in front of your face while you continue your hard, honest work, sat hunched over Shouta's other hand and just finishing up so that you can get started on yours.

"Do the base white on yours. Make them opposites." he proposes as you finish glossing them over, giving you a suggestion, and you just can't help but puff your cheeks out like a hamster as you attempt to contain your laughter only to fail miserably. You can't help it- he's just given you a suggestion like that with the most unexpressive face you've seen on him, and once you calm down and recover a little you're quick to press a gentle kiss to his lips while he's still confused.

The two of you have fun painting your nails and there's absolutely no way that you could let him even breathe before you got a picture of the masterpieces before you, and as Shouta watches you fawn over how cute he is with the cat ears he still has on he cant help but smirk and pull you closer.

Soft lips meet yours as he holds you in the kiss by the back of your head, nipping at your lip and when you pull back your face is flushed bright red and you're practically dizzy from the kiss, giving him a woozy but sly smile as you grab your plush, turning it back to red as the little smiley face has your boyfriend smirking wider and raising an eyebrow at you, crawling closer to you and making you blush bright red again.

His eyes are half lidded and he looks up at you mischievously, crawling up over you and nipping at your neck cheekily just to tease you. And boy, does it work well...

[strawberri]

oh...

[im-not-a-simp-i-swear]

Scenario- lesbian MC, platonic relationship with the brothers. MC has just been asked on a date; how do the brothers go about vetting the demon lady before she gets a chance to be alone with MC? 👀

BROTHERS VETTING ON MC'S DATE

(Hooray my first request!! Hope you like it :) )

💙LUCIFER

- he will probably be the most calm looking out of all the brothers, but man's judging the poor demon lady until he is convinced you'll be ok

- will make some questions here and there about their plans with MC

- will wait until you come back and then will interrogate you about how the date went

- if anything went wrong, no matter how tiny the error is, you vetter prepare the chains cause he is about to go feral

- clearly is pulling out that big brother card he has with you

- " she didnt do ______?"

- " its ok MC let me go, i just WANT TO HAVE A TALK WITH HER-"

- "how dare she not be a gentlelady with you!?"

💛MAMMON

- big brother card 2.0

- will proceed to interrogate the lady the moment she gets even close to the HoL to pick you up for the date

- "WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS WITH MC HUH?!"

- *sobs* "i... i just want to make her happy-"

- "ARE YOU SAYING SHE ISNT HAPPY HERE!!!"

- you and the demon lady might be dating for years and mammon will continue to be cold with her

- not in a bad way however its more he wants to make sure no one hurts you

- will also interrogate you of your date time with her and if he believes she did something wrong then he too will lose it

🧡LEVIATHAN

- will definetely help Mammon out with the interogation with the demon lady

- watches a ton of animes with similar scenarios like these to know what to do if she ends up breaking your heart

- will be sending you texts through DDD to make sure how things are going

- is jealous that you might spend more time with her than him

- "oh... you two are going out today? Ok i'll just go play alone in my-" *cries to henry 2.0 about how you must hate him noq that you are with someone*

- overall you want to balance even better your time with the brothers and your partner because else the brothers will definetely feel neglected and get either angry or upset, specially levi

💚SATAN

- like father like son he will look calm on the outside and wont scare the living hell out of your date

- is secretly not secretly reading "how to torture people after they break your friend's heart 101"

- wont interrogate you like the last three once your back from the date but will most likely just ask:

- "so how did it went?"

- reasonable guy overall

- thats until he discovers the date went wrong, then he is going feral too

- im guessing however that the date would go well so yeah no need for panic

💖ASMODEUS

- asmo your judgement is showing~

- yeah he is joining mammon and levi on that interogation session

- he wont even bother asking how the date went he will just come to conclusions and claim that you deserve a queen of a woman

- the judgiest b*tch of the west

- that is until he ends up becoming friends with your partner on the second date, then he will show full support for both parties

- lets be honest it wouldnt be a surprise if he tried to get you two to have a threeway with him i mean he is the avatar of lust🙄

- ends up at the end being the most supportive of the seven

❤ BEELZEBUB

- "ah... these b--ches gay... good for them"

- *nom* * nom* *nom*

- wont really care honestly, as long as you are happy he is happy, and if you trust your partner then he will trust her

- will recieve the demon lady with a smile and tell her that his brothers reactions are usually worse

- you surprised it'd get worse?

- is of course overprotective but he wont judge to harshly on your date

- if things go south however....

- ends up also being openly supportive of you two

- "happy MC happy life, sad MC no life for you"

💜 BELPHEGOR

- has no idea what is going on, he was asleep the whole time

- they dont really meet your partner until the thrid date

- " and who is this?🤨" "who are you and what are you doing in our house?"

- starts questioning them but ends up too tired to bother worrying anymore

- like beel, he will trust her if you trust them, but if they end up hurting your feelings then it wont be pretty...

- as long as he gets to sleep then you two can do whatever it pleases you, and as long as you're happy he is happy

[aestheticsuwu]

🍃Blue Lagoon 🍃

@judahlux I wrote this , hopefully you like it

.... . ......

Coming out of the hut where they kept the wood safe and dry for the fire . Mr.Miyagi asked him to cut some , laying down the wood and starts to sectioned them to be chopped .

The old man was inside probably organizing their mess , he will blame it on Daniel later .

The omega himself was laying in the hammock , he was about to tease him about not doing anything like always until he looked at his direction .

He froze .

Daniel looked beautiful , His dark skin shined alongside with his hair . His lanky arms were behind his head , Johnny felt like he couldnt breathe.

Daniel turn his head toward his direction  , the smile on him made johnnys chest feel warm . He looked gorgeous until the omega opened his mouth .

" You know , you should do less starting and do more working . "

Spluttering in anger he throws sand in his direction , all he got back were more gigles .

Beautiful ,huffing at the idea more like little punk .

Focusing on the wood until it was done. Sweat was dripping down his back , the sun was  bright making his skin rosy from the heat .

" Daniel-san go get more fruit for dinner . Johnny-san come help Miyagi to move pot . "

 The old man walked right back to the hut , following him to help him . But he couldnt help to look back once more were Daniel was heading .

Shaking his head and blaming the heat for his behaviour  .

 After helping Mr.Miyagi,  he sat watching the old man finishing lunch for the three .

" Old man , do you ever look at Daniel and just feel annoyed .

" Daniel-san ? No , he just full of energy like puppy . Why ask Miyagi ? . "

" I dont know today he just .... nevermind . " He couldn't find the right words to describe it and he kind of felt embarrased .

They waited for a good while for Daniel to come back but he never showed up .He didn't want to admit but he had been worried , Maybe he had gotten hurt on his way back .

" Johnny , go ." Sometimes he felt Mr.Miyagi could read minds .

" ME !? "

" Hai , check the river . "

Springing up from his spot and started heading towards where Daniel had left earlier .

He told himself the gut feeling of being worried was because the punk was making them wait on lunch .

The omega was knowhwere to begin with , tired walking aimlessly he went to the river where Mr.Miyagi had mentioned .

Catching sight of the headband that Mr. Miyagi gave to daniel when he presented and sinced then he never not once wored it .

Never once to give up the chance to scold the omega he went forward to scare him but the second time of the day the words got caught on his throat .

He felt his face get hot , his mind was confusing him from the thoughts he recently been getting ever since his status was presented as Alpha .

His mind been catching every little thing that Daniel would do . How he whined of not getting to do hard work and then continued to whine when he did .

How when he would eat he would get all the fruit juice all over him when he was in a rushed to go swim .

Or how his wolf kept reminding him to get bigger and stronger , and felt big pride when the omega would notice .

 Not realising how sometimes at night he wants to hold him and touch him without feeling ashamed .

" Johnny !! Come join me the water is fantastic !! .

" While you were busy having fun swimming we were starving . This is why you get on our nerves . "

That pout wasnt going to make him reconsidered his argument .

" Johnny cmon , just real quick ."

He didnt know why he felt like doing what the omega wanted , his inner wolf making him go against his word .

Daniel wasn't lying , the water felt amazing to the days weather . Diving in to take a quick swim , rising up to shake off the water .

The boy infront of him was smiling , he himself couldnt help but to smile . Daniel started splashing water , that little punk tried to swim away from him but he latched on to his waist .

Both were face to face , those eyes reminded him of the book with pictures Lucille had taught them words and animals . Even since he was young he thought that Daniel had ressemblance to a deer .

Yeah , Daniel was bambi . His bambi .

He surged forward to kiss him , the need was killing him inside and once he did Johnny knew he couldn't get enough .

He felt happy .

Until he's pushed him away by angry looking eyes .

" Why did you do that , i was saving my first kiss for an alpha . "

" Im an alpha ! . " Was Daniel dumb , because he clearlt wasn't a beta or omega . If he was he would think Miyagi would have told him .

Daniel looked frustrated , but what he said next made him feel sad that soon turned into anger .

" But it wasn't supposed to be you , now you ruined it ! "

" You know what, I was doing you a favor . Nobody would want to kiss someone that looks like a wet rat ! "

He shouted as he got out of the water , he couldn't believe how stupid he was to kiss Daniel.

" Hey ! Not like your any better ! looking like a .......... "

Saving him the excuse to find the word to insult him with he continued to fight .

" oh yeah , then how come your always drooling as you stare at me . "

But that kinda didnt help when he's been lately staring .

" Haha thats the other way around !  . "

" whatever "

Mood being ruined walking past by the basket full of fruits not even bothering to help Daniel. 

Other alpha ? Why would Daniel want another alpha . It made his stomach upset and his hart ache , arriving to the hut he quickly goes up to his bed not longer having a appetite.

He was grateful that Mr.Miyagi left him alone for awhile and Daniel didnt kept being his annoying self .

When refusing to eat dinner , Mr. Myagi became worried .

" Johnny-san San okay ? "

" Yeah , just not hungry ."

" Miyagi make tea for maybe rut , just in case . "

Mr . Myagi was suprise after arriving on the island that his suppressants tea made it along with Books , knives and some clothing had not once touch the water .

Miyagi himself was a beta he didn't need the tea but Lucille was an omega so she did get her heats once every 3 months .

When lucille passed away when her bite mark started to fade meaning her husband had passed away . With her time left she taught Johnny and Daniel everything she knew .

Johnny was the first to present soon after Daniel presented but it was harder having an alpha around . Myagi knew a smell of an omega in heat made an Alpha Hungry for lust so he started to give them teas to help them with their heats and ruts .

The tea helped him a liitle but his wolf was restless knowing the omega rejected him making his scent stronger every minute he dwelled about it .

In the middle of the night he felt someone get in his bed , the smell of vanilla and cinnamon with a tint of sadness invaded his nose . Opening his eye to see Daniel crawling in .

" What are you doing , were not allowed to be in each others beds. "

Turning around quickly to see if Miyagi had woken up .

" Im sorry about earlier . "

" Its whatever , stop it .stop . Im not gonna fall for your bambi eyes ! . "

" My bambi eyes ? You havent called me bambi in a long time . Can you start calling me that again ? "

" I thought you said that you hated it . Are you blushing ? " .

" Stop asking questions . "

Daniel moves forward , he expected a kiss on the cheeck but he was wrong once he felt lips on his own .Soft and chaste,  it drove him crazy just by a 2 second peck .

" We can kiss whenever you want , but just that okay . "

Nodding , leaning forward to kiss the omega . It was hard to refrain himself while having daniel under him .

Holding daniel in the verge of falling asleep , he wished they wouldn't leave or that no one would could rescue them from their home .

The thought of not being with Mr. Myagi who raised and was a father to them left him sad but Daniel being with someone elses droved him mad .

He didnt want to share what was his .

TBC.

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Pink Chains (cont.)

Kyotani owns a grunge /punk apparel shop after leaving the Sendai Frogs after a incident with the Black Jackals. He designs his own clothes and hires Oikawa & Iwaizumi as his employees. Everything goes smoothly for awhile, till you walk in; pink dress, big smile , and bubbly personality. His whole life stops in that moment. 

Punk! Kyotani x Bubbly F! reader. Aka my favorite cliche trope. It lives in my head every second of the day.

Brief Violence

The rest of the first half and all ive got so far ! / first half at the bottom !!

Your home was a cheap studio apartment not far from the college; a small studio with a cute bed by the window , a table with a bunch of markers with a big sketchbook sitting in the middle . You had the basic needs and a little couch in the corner but no tv , but there was a little pink cat bed next to the couch.

Kyo stuffed his hands in his pockets looking around the studio , it was weird being in a small studio for him since he has a home . Everything seemed shoved into one or two spots. He sat down on the couch and you were looking a little embarrassed, fussing with your dress .

“I know its not much but ! Its my little space heh, Mocha is probably in her little house sleeping. She will wake up soon though now that im home !!!” You picked up some clothes out of a basket. “Ill be right back , make yourself at home!”

“Okay sweetie.” He leaned forward dipping his head down to look in the cat hut . He could see a tiny kitten sleeping in it and smirked leaning back into the couch getting comfortable, well as much as he could in tight jeans. Kyo peeled his jacket off and pulled his phone out to check it .

Group Chat

Mattsun/ picture

Oikawa/ OOOOOO

Iwaizumi/ i knew pink was your color

Kyotonai/ guess where i am

Iwaizumi/well i dont see you so not at home

Oikawa/ are you at her house ?!?

Kyotani/yep, invited me to stay the night

Mattsun/ oh my , how adult

Kyotani/ shut up Mattsun

Oikawa/ hope you brought condoms

Iwaizumi/ be gentle with her

Kyotani/we aint gonna fuck i just didint want to leave yet

Oikawa/ 😙😙😙😗😙😙😙

Mattsun/ 😳😳😳😳😳

Iwaizumi/ 😒

Kyotani / i hate all of you

Iwa,Kawa, Mattsun/ 💕💞♥️

Kyo put his phone on the table when he saw you come out of the restroom, you were wearing a red panda shirt and matching shorts . Mocha emerged from her home too and meowed for attention . Kyo could not stop looking at you, so cute, so , so cute..

“Mocha! “ you bent down and picked up the brown kitten taking a seat next to Kyo to show him. “Shes a rescue ! I saw her all alone and i just had to help her.”

Kyo took the kitten from you and set it on his lap to pet her. “Shes cute” he leaned back tugging at his jeans trying to relax.

“Whats wrong?” You asked, Kyos lap to pet the happy kitten.

“Had these jeans on all day, i dont want to.. make you uncomfortable.”

Mocha nuzzled into Kyos stomach getting comfy and looked like she was not movin for any reason.

“I dont mine but.. you better do it fast because Mocha is not gonna care that you wanna take em off.”

Gently he lifted to kitten to fuss with his belt , you giggled getting up and grabbing your sketchbook. “Can i show you.. heh my drawings.”

“Of course sweetie, you draw?” He asked , pulling his jeans down with one hand and Mocha in the other. Kyo had on black and pink boxers . “Ugn finally..” he set Mocha back on his lap and placed the jeans on his jacket feeling a little unsure if he should have taken em off.

You hid behind your sketchbook when you saw him on the couch in his boxers. Kyo had tone legs from volleyball and a few tattoos on his legs along with some bruises and knicks.

Kyo looked down at Mocha feeling a little embarrassed. Why were skinny jeans so damn uncomfortable after a while? He asked as he pet the little kitten.

You sat down with him criss cross with the sketchbook on your lap. “Yep! I'm in college for art and design. I want to one day get picked up by a clothing store and have my drawings on shirts”

Kyo leaned towards you looking over the sketches with wide eyes. They might have been all cute things; like kittens, red pandas, hearts, patterns and space but they were so damn good. “You have a real talent these are awesome.”

“Really?!?”

“Yes sweetie. Id put these on my shirts. Oh that reminds me..”

“Oh my gosh!! Kyo that would be so cool!” Gently you placed the sketchbook on the table and looked at Kyo, he was a looking a little unsure of himself. “Whats wrong..?”

“Why exactly did you come into my store ? Ive never seen you in it before”

“ uhm Kyo.. you have a shirt in the window with kittens on it.. so.. “

He laughed wrapping his arm around you making you laugh too. “My ‘Sad Day’ shirt? With all the grumpy cats?”

“Its so cute, how could I not!!!” You hit his chest lightly not liking his tone.

“Okay okay.” Lightly he grabbed one of your hands holding it close. “Happy you did, really.” His eyes drifted off you and around the room.

“Kyo?” You inched closer, picking Mocha up leaning down to place her in her hut.

Kyo picked you up and sat you down on his lap facing him, placing his hands at your hips. He leaned back spreading his legs. “Yes? Sweetie..?” You could feel he was a little hard, it was really hot between your legs..

“Im happy i did too.. i really like you.”

His heart thumped a few times. “First girl to say that to me…” he rested his elbow on the arm of the couch to support his head. “I wasn't the nicest guy in highschool, i'll never forget the day Yahaba slammed me into that wall and told me to get my shit together.”

You looked a little sad at his words, Kyo only mentioned his aggression one other time but even then he sounded upset and full of regret.

“Do you want to talk about it?” You asked him , cupping his cheeks so he would look at you. His eyes told you ‘yes, yes please.’ But.. “No, i just want to hold you if that's okay.”

“Okay. If we fall asleep my alarm is going to go off at 8 so sorry in advance.” You got comfortable on his lap and Kyo tipped your chin up so you were looking at him.

“Would you be more comfortable on the bed?”

“Yes i think so. I dont think i can sleep like this. Hehe.”

Kyo gripped your hips picking you up, he stepped over Mochas hut and brought you to the bed to lay down with you, his face a little red. You latched onto his sleeve closing your eyes and drifting off. “Night Kyo..”

“G’night sweetie..”

Fuck what was he doing ? Talking about it will help.. right? Kyo had to wait a bit before you were fully asleep to get up and grab his phone.

Kyotani/ Iwaizumi

Iwaizumi/ Yes

Kytotani/ keep this between us

Iwaizumi/ you didn't hit it and ditch did you?

Kyotani/ what? No.

Iwaizumi/ are you scared to make it official Kyo

Kyo stared at the text for a few minutes reading it over and over .

Iwaizumi/ is it the anger issues

He squeezed his phone and sat down on the couch dialing his phone.

“Im scared ill lash out or something”

“Mm.. when was the last time that happened again?”

“The Tourney against the Black Jackals.”

“Ah yes, think Kei had to pry you off Bokuto or something right?”

“Yes… Iwaizumi i can't lash out at her. I just can't, i mentioned Yahaba and that day and she asked if i wanted to talk about it”

“You said ’no’, didn't you” Sigh “Kyotani she's not a threat, she's not an enemy . She's literally just a girl who likes you. Open up to her”

“How.”

“Uuhhmmmm, tell her you want to talk about it. I'm going to bed. You can do this Kyotani”

He hung up .

Kyo rubbed his face for a minute and glanced at you for a minute then back to his phone opening up Messages.

Kyotani/ Mattsun i know your asleep but invite Yahaba to the beach volleyball.

He set his phone down and very slowly made his way back to you. He wrapped his arms around your sleeping body and shut his eyes tight trying to sleep.

**

In the morning Kyo was awake early browsing on his phone, he stared at the screen for a minute before pressing Play on the video.

-flash back-

‘Another score for the Black Jackals!!! It is Match Point !!! ‘

The Sendai frogs were tired, sweaty and losing this Tournament. The Black Jackals were still full of energy and ready to go . It was a very hard game for both sides and Bokuto kept testing Kyotani, this was the first time he met the loud grey haired boy and he just did not like him. He knew Hinata but he did not like him too much.

Kyotani was doing better at keeping his temper under control and his team figured out how to hype him up without making him angry. Kei was not too fond of him but then again he did not really need to be, they just needed to be on the same page on the court.

That owl boy though, he was loud, annoying , and just testing him. Kyotani knew it, every serve, block, and spike was for him to clear or get rid of . Kyotani got hit with the ball a couple times and thats when he lost it.

‘Kyotani has taken another hit from the ball!!!’ Yelled the annoucer .

“Hey hey hey?!! Eye on the ball yea!??”

“Dont let it get to you” Kei told him .

“.........”

“..Kyot-“

He was on the other side of the net ontop of Bokuto punching him .The whole building was dead silent.

The last thing Kyotani remembered was hearing the announcer describe what was happening and Kei pulling him off of Bokuto.

He quit the Sendai Frogs that day, took his last check and left not looking back. He opened an apparel shop he called The Dog House and got in touch with his old highschool teammates starting over.

-end flashback-

You woke up to see Kyos hand on your head , you were not fully awake so you just laid there enjoying the nice feeling on your head. Mocha had also joined you in bed and was between you both sleeping. Kyo smelled like leather… an old leather that was renewed, it made your nose crinkle a bit. Looking up you saw he had a collar tattoo with spikes on it on his wrist . It was kinda silly but kinda cute too , although you wondered what it meant.

A minute later your alarm went off and you whimpered letting Kyo know you were awake. He let go of your head to slam your alarm clock off. He looked upset or angry in the face, and he was still staring at his phone.

Slowly you got up and gently placed Mocha on your pillow so you could scoot closer to him. “Kyo? Did you get any sleep?”

“I have to show you something.” He said as he turned his phone to you pressing Play again.

You were holding the phone now, it was alot heavier than yours . You had watched the video a couple times and everytime Kyo punched Bokuto you flinched. After the second time you placed the phone down to sit facing him.

“Kyo..”

He looked the other way running his hand through his hair.

“Kyo?”

He wanted to run away so bad. Start over again. Someplace without people like -

“Kyo.”

You were between his legs now , he had his knees up and was resting his elbows on them and still did not look at you. Dammit Mad Dog just say something to her, she's right there, dont shut her out.. dont shut..

You grabbed his face turning his head, kissing him, catching him very off guard. Kyo fell back taking you with him . You had no intention of stopping and just kissed him more and more even though he cursed between breaths. Kyo grabbed you lifting you up off his face and chest. You frowned at him and sat down on his lap once he let you go, cheeks flushed and very embarrassed.

“S..swee..sweetie”

“You aren't like that anymore!” You told him while you rubbed your eyes.

“Sweetie no don't cry please..” he sat up taking you in his arms rubbing your back in circles. “Sshh..”

“Please.. talk to me..” You sniffled into his neck squeezing him tight.

Kyo was shaking .. you were shaking . He laid his head on your neck starting from the beginning.. the very beginning. Every few minutes he would stop to check if you were still crying. He would cup your face and wipe under your eyes and ask ‘Are you Afraid of Me’ and you shook your head saying ‘No’ every single time. You were both tearing up by the end of it, Kyotani told you about Yahaba, Highschool after Iwa & Kawa graduated , how he became a Pro and Bokuto. The look on his face just made you so sad and seeing you sad was something he never wanted to see.

“Sweetie.. how , how can.”

“I like you Kyo, a lot. I'm not scared, never will be.”

“I'm so scared ill lash out at you sweetie.”

You grabbed his hand holding it and running a hand up and down his sleeve while you talked. “Kyo.. you let me touch your wolves. When we first met in your shop i noticed you were rubbing it a lot , like you were worried or you thought id just out right touch it”

“I..”

You kissed him again and wiped your eyes free of stray tears. “I want to be with you Kyo, i wanna.. see red pandas with you”

He laughed at that and so did you.

“I already said i'd take you didint i?” He asked cupping your face .

“Just making sure you know i really wanna go heh..”

“I know sweetie, believe me i know.” Kyo kissed you and you blushed wrapping your arms around him.

The alarm went off again too.

••

@zoppzoop @mocha-babes @haikyuu-but-low-iq @milkbreadcat @kozushiki

••

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon, sorry this keeps taking me a while to send, been very busy lately.

He only had a hunch at first he was his ancestor but later talking with Karl confirmed it. I have yet to decide, I think he probably will just so I can focus more on the current events and not his past. 

He solely relys on his instincts when around other endermen. Although when around Ran he relys more on his social interaction skills. Though he still does certain things (like no eye contact, he leaves two blocks for Ran as a show of care and harmlessness, and sometimes warbling at Ran) due to his instincts. For other enderman it generally works out well, they mostly leave Ranboo alone anyway. But for Ran, he doesn't care much.

He is aware of Enderwalk Ranboo, mostly cause Phil warned him about it. His interactions with Enderwalk Ranboo are mostly Enderwalk Ranboo entering his room and trying to get close to Ran only for Ran to really full heartily growl and lash out at him when he gets close. Then Enderwalk Ranboo whines and leaves. Ranboo is hesitant but welcoming and open to Ran all the time, mostly because holy shit its another enderman hybrid, he thought he was the only one! And Ranboo can tell the two share a bit of similarities but mostly just thinks its because there both enderman hybrids. 

Karl manages to convince the Artic Commute to leave the two alone and once they leave starts to question Ran. Only to pretty often get cut off by him asking a retaliation question. Ran is angry and desperately wants to know everything, Karl is scared and wants to know everything Ran knows. So they eventually come to a agreement where Karl asks a question, Ran answers then he asks a question and Karl answers that. After a while of this they come to an agreement to wait til Ran is fully healed to start to find a way to get him back. And in the meantime Karl'll explain his timetravel stuff and how Ran got here, hoping to get the Commute to agree to help them find a way to get Ran home. 

A mix of annoyed, angry, relieved, and homesick (cause Tubbo reminds him of Jackie). Bit of both, he wants to know whats going on and where Ran came from, but is also just curious about the other hybrid. Tubbo heads to the Artic cause Ranboo hasn't been over at all in weeks, keeps saying he's to busy and how something interesting happened at the Artic. So Tubbo gets tired of it and decides to head over to find out whats keeping Ranboo from visiting. Ye medic Eret, I was originally thinking of medic Bad but I think I may try to include the Egg in this somewhere so he's not a option. They have a mutual relationship, no one there really has a reason to dislike him or to heavily like him, but they all get along whenever they meet. Eret learns by Phil contacting him for help, cause while Techno and Phil both know some health knowledge they don't know enough to properly treat Ran and make the call to call in Eret to help, both trusting them enough to keep this secret between all of them. Karl learns because of Eret actually, Eret comes to Karl for help to see if he has any enderman biology books and half handly mention how a enderman needs help, leading to Karl asking if its Ranboo or Edward, the no he gets in response alarms him enough to back Eret into a corner and force him to tell him who was there that needed help. All Eret said was a dark enderman with green eyes, which reminds Karl of Ran and gets him panicked enough to go see if its him. Tubbo knows cause he gets impatient of waiting for Ranboo to vist so he vists with no warning, leading to him meeting Ran while looking for Ranboo. Its kept hush hush cause their all unsure of how the rest of the SMP would react to having Ran there, especially when it's revealed he's from the future. 

He did. He's not having fun. Karl used too but not anymore since he's time travled so much he's gotten used to it.

Partially, he understands all common though is only able to speak a medium amount, mostly due to his mouth and vocal cords are just unable to make some words or sounds needed to speak it. When that happens they basically play charades. He is still Technos roommate and is happily helping Ranboo in anyway he can. 

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They steal anything they can get their grubby hands on. It actually goes pretty well as well shockingly. They mostly steal anything that looks expensive, though they manage to find a bunch of raw material like gold, iron, and even diamonds and steal all of that. And they get far enough no one can find them at first. 

Thats exactly what happened, they make eye contact, hear a ruckus from nearby, make eye contact again, then fucking book it away from the sounds. 

The most trouble the group makes is when Grievous makes fun of Porkums hat and gets punched for it. 

Honestly with all the wars and battles that go on in the SMP he probably doesn't even bat a eye, its probably normal for him. 

First thing Jackie does is complain about everyone being taller than him. I imagine Pogtopia being abandoned for years hasn't left it in a very stable state. So Jackie just steps in the wrong place and gets sent tumbling down, with rocks falling after trapping him. 

All happened after they met Karl, but all happened at different times. So for example, the Wild West where thrown back 3 years after meeting Karl. While for the Haunted Mansion crew, they where thrown back months after meeting Karl. Even though they've all met him before their reactions are slightly different depending on how long ago they met Karl. Again for example Sherman and Jon Jon greeted Karl like a old friend and were happy to see him again. While all of the Haunted Mansion crew greeted Karl with questions as they more recently saw him so didn't feel the need to say hello. Cause Isaac and Karl are both in Kinoko Kingdom, where Karl holds all of his books about the time travel journeys, Karl is able to bring Isaac to the books and show him the City of Mizu Book, along with the others that explain who they people he was with where. Plus Isaac just doesnt really have a reason to not believe Karl as he has never lied to him or anything.

Im guessing you mean after the search party is formed, then its actually Ran found first since he's so close. Karl has to try to convince Ran to join them so they can count him as found and then take him to a holding type area. Ran refuses at first and Karl gives him a ultimatum that he either goes with them and gets to go home or stays here forever. He eventually agrees to come with if he gets to search with them, and reluctantly Karl agrees. Karl does what any of the Tales people joining them on their search, but much to his dismay more people insist on joining them. Ran also actually has information on the Bandits but refuses to give it until they find Jackie, cause he has a bad feeling that something happened to him. Ran actually has his left hand bandaged cause a massive piece of glass went through his hand. Jackie will eventually get his arm in a sling due to a broken bone. Ranbulter and James suffer hypothermia and have to be taken care of by Bad (the Egg doesn't exist in this au). Zack slips trying to get away from the Bandits and twists his ankle. Sherman breaks a finger trying to get out of the ravine. And Benjamin gets a slash on his leg after trying to run from Drowned and getting grazed by the trident. Both sides goals are getting back home. Though it's harder for the Tales cause not all of them get along. Karl gets worn down over time and slowly becomes more distressed and hopeless about getting them home. And all the stress builds up til he just snaps and sadly, quite a few people are in the line of fire when he snaps.

From Future To Past AU:

What led to him suspecting Ranboo to be his ancestor?

Do certain blocks have certain meanings, then? For Endermen?

Enderboo sounds very sad and put-out. How is he generally in this AU, seeing as Phil's aware of his existence at the least? How does Ran feel about his visits, and what are his thoughts on when it happens? Are Ender hybrids rare in general, if he's so surprised to see another one?

How'd Karl convince him? How do the two currently view each other, and what were their previous interactions beforehand, if Ran's reaction to him was so upset, and Karl was spooked? How do they get along after?

How does the rest of the Arctic react to Tubbo's presence, and how do our two Endermen feel about the possible tension-considering Ranboo's closeness to Tubbo, and Ran being reminded of Jackie. What are you thinking, egg-wise? Why does Eret go to Karl for books? Is his library well-known?

So Karl could possibly help Ran out with the effects? Or is at least aware of them? Or no?

Charades with them all sounds like so much fun, honestly. Can you imagine it?? And good! We need more Edward around!

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Tip Of The Iceberg AU:

Good for them. Do they end up having to return the stuff later, or no?How does it go when Las Nevadas realizes who the thieves are?

Common sense isn't dead! Huzzah! Absolutely hilarious image though.

Good for Porkums, honestly.

That is also true! And really funny image, once again. Eret's just like- 'ah, my window, mysteriously broken. Again. Absolutely shocking. Whatever will I do.' Completely deadpan while they pull out supplies from a chest kept nearby for this exact thing.

Everyone else: Where are we? Are we in danger? What happened?

Jackie: How dare you all be taller than me.

That's not good though. How do they and the others react to that?

Have certain events of the Tales been altered then? Seeing as some of them would be dead otherwise? Or were they revived when they were thrown back in time?

How do all the Smp members react to these random people who popped up seeming to know Karl? 'never lied to him' implies Issac knows Karl a bit more beyond just meeting him now, so what's with that? Is he just naturally trusting of him, or do they know each other?

How does that first interaction go, not just between Karl and Ran, but with the others with them? What information does he have on the bandits, and how did he get it? Similar past as before, seeing as Jackie remains so important to him?

Poor Tales. None of them are having fun, huh? Where are they all housed after this, and what are relationships like as of now? Do the groups stick together from era, or with whoever they just get along with best? How do they interact with certain Smp members?

And what happens both during and in the aftermath of Karl snapping?

[bxttenbound-archive]

Talking abt serious stuff under the cut

My cousin who is alcoholic is dying.

Her organs are already shutting down. Both her kidneys are gone and her liver js barely hanging on. The doctors dont think shes going to live through the weekend.

Im just. So angry and upset because my family did little to nothing to help. They kept blaming her for not getting better. Being dissapointed that she couldnt just will herself out of alcoholism thats been an issue for years. Im just. Pissed off. Im so angry because they dont care and just are angry she cant magically get better as if addiction isnt an issue. Im sorry i just

Its the same shit they did to me only now they might finally realIe their mentality and hiw they hurt everyone around with this toxic ideology but that someone has to die for them to finally get it. Evem then im not even sure theyll realize. Im just

Angry. Sad. I couldnt do anything yet i might had been in the same spot if i didnt have people lile u guys or my gf to keep me going. But she had no one but a toxic family that blamed her for her own addiction and complained when she couldnt fight the struggle or had issues or relapses.

I know its tiring to deal with people wjo habe these issues but im just. From my perspective they did nothing. They threw her into a 1 week rehab and got angry when it didnt auto fix it. Im just

Im sorry guys im so angry and sad