#i am simply.. a loser.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
non-practicing slut. is this anythign
#this post is not about being ace i am actually the furthest thing from ace one could be#im simply a massive virgin loser#just putting that out there#more power to you if yourelate to it for that reason thoughb
91K notes
·
View notes
Text
Lap Pillow
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Confessions of a missed opportunity: I almost had LWJ in purple for this comic.#WWX gives him one of his layers to wear and it's never specified what colour it is.#We all love the red inner robe from CQL (And other illustrations) but sit with me for a moment. Think about LWJ in Jiang Purple.#Right now. Close your eyes and give it 5-10 seconds of rotation in your brain.#Welcome back. It's beautiful isn't it. As I write these notes I am upset that I backed out of going through with it.#I think I will simply have to draw it another time. If we get gusu lan white wwx we *need* yunmeng jiang purple lwj!#Anyways; this comic is the pinnacle of teen wangji's bursting-at-the-seams-emotionality that I love him for.#For my sanity I need that teen losing his mind and following bird rules (get fluffy - get blushy - keep beeping)#He is a loser nerd with a begrudging crush on a boy that he doesn't know how to be normal about.#LWJ seems like your typical 'cool guy love interest' until you realize that he's actually kind of soggy and pathetic.#My favourite lan wangji trait is that he's funny as all hell. I feel like wwx a bit because I had a character epiphany when I realized this
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Fiddauthor doodles
*leaves this politely on the floor and scurries away*
yeah. enjoy ^_^
#THEY MAKE ME ILL WHAT THE SHIT#I AM GOING TO EXPLODE#fiddauthor#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleauthor#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#ford pines#gravity falls fiddleford#stanford pines#gravity falls#normal about them.#the first occurs in the comic btw.#doomed yaoi#no because ford get your head in the game. there’s a married man that wants you more than he wants anything else.#I’m just as oblivious as him though. I can’t be talking.#also fiddleford how does it feel spending all your college years hopelessly pining for your roommate#and feeling frustrated with the lack of romantic progression because neither of you can read signals for shit#so when you inevitably don’t amount to anything and are forced to just ignore anything that may have ever existed between you two#you spitefully get hitched and have a kid to prove to yourself that you’re a) straight and b) not just some loser coward#but all along you’ve just known he was the right one for you. nobody could ever compare to what he gave you#everyone else has simply acted as a replacement or substitution for what you felt for him. you can’t shake the feeling ever.#and when years later you get a call from him you justify immediately leaving to work on the project as a) your entitlement to him and b)#a desperate and hopeless attempt at rekindling your college days#HOW DOES IT FEEL FIDDLEFORD
182 notes
·
View notes
Text
reupload bc some of the spots were poopy but I only noticed after uploading ugghfefehf
I am actually never recovering from this film idk if I’ll ever grow a strong enough spine to read the book
#rewatching is not an option#I simply cannot bear it#I love these two losers though#brokeback mountain#ennis del mar#jack twist#I am so normal about them#it was supposed to be a painting sketch but uhh#nuh uh#brokeback mountain fanart
151 notes
·
View notes
Text
guess who's back 🥺🥺 (and about to go to sleep)
i wanted to apologize quickly for disappearing like that, and i promise ill answer my asks and interact tmr!! 🥹🥹 hope everyone's doing well <33
but before i go, ill just drop this fanart of @lostxmelody 's fanfic (Parts of a Human, I've talked abt it before but it's. such a wild ride that I will absolutely stay on forever.)
(do i now know how to format panels?? hahahhahaahaa. still no.)
#my art#fanfic fanart#i would like to apologize for returning like this#fuuta kajiyama#mikoto kayano#0309#milgram fanart#dont mind the 4 different artstyles#i spaced out way too much time between certain frames#i KNOW this scene is actually really short and (maybe) not that relevant to the story but.#i just think that photography is so neat and the scene just played in my mind#i hate cameras though im never drawing a camera again in my life#actually ignore the fact that the camera's different between some panels#i was too lazy to change it#very excited for ch.3 btw. melody.#love the fic but hate the author /jk#mikofuu are such cutie patootie losers#there are SO many mistakes and way i could make it look better but. its 3 am. no more.#what did i make mikoto look so babygirl for bruh#no i did not draw hands for mikoto because. i simply believe he doesnt deserver them (i dont know how to draw hands)#but fuuta can have One hand in One panel cuz im biased
97 notes
·
View notes
Text
BRB thinking thoughts about Taigen's character, the TaiMizu ship, and a big chunk of fandom's perceptions regarding both those things.
(Inspired by @farintonorth's post related to this topic that just got my brain going brrrrr)
OK so let me just... start off by saying that I think that reducing stories to their tropes is seriously detrimental to the way some people are interacting with fiction, and while that honestly warrants its own post about the subject, I wanna talk specifically about how this affects the way some people in the fandom talk about Taigen and TaiMizu.
Because yeah, tropes are useful shorthand to refer to certain dynamics or archetypes etc, and they are indeed the building blocks to any story. But in a well-written story, characters and their relationships, actions, and motivations, are much more complex than just tropes. Because in a story that has characters who are more than just cardboard cutouts, their behaviours, backgrounds, motivations and all of that, are inseparable from the context of the overall story they exist in.
So like, sure, you can say Mizu and Taigen have an enemies-to-lovers or rivals-to-lovers dynamic. I also use those terms because it's easier. But I also think this is where things start to get a bit twisted, especially from an intertextual sense. Because "enemies-to-lovers" is also commonly used to refer to other ships in other media, whereby it tends to be rooted in an imbalanced power dynamic, such as oppressor-oppressed and bully-victim.
And while that's a whole can of worms that I won't be getting into because it can quickly derail into a whole separate sort of fandom discourse, I'd just like to make it clear that Mizu and Taigen, in particular, do not have an imbalanced power dynamic. They are not bully-victim or oppressor-oppressed. The only understandable reason why someone might actually think their relationship is imbalanced is if
A) they only watched the first episode, or
B) they cannot grasp the slightest bit of nuance in a character, or
C) they're being obtuse on purpose simply because the Mizu/Taigen relationship, or Taigen's character in general, just doesn't suit their tastes.
While yes, Taigen, along with his whole gang, had bullied Mizu when they were children, that dynamic does not exist between them whatsoever in adulthood. Whatever imbalanced bully-victim power dynamic that had once existed between them was decisively ripped apart the moment Mizu beat him in that duel in the dojo, and then completely obliterated by the end of the season.
Mizu is not a defenseless victim at Taigen's mercy. Mizu can beat Taigen's ass any time she wants (and she DOES, repeatedly in fact), and could even kill him if she felt like it. She taunts him openly and without fear ("I like your hair"; "I can beat you with any weapon you choose") and all he does is bark back, because that's pretty much all Taigen ever does. Time and time again, he yaps about how much he wants to kill her, but time and time again, his actions prove that all of it is just an empty threat. Because though his words say "I hate you", his actions demonstrate the complete opposite. He's shown how protective he is of Mizu, how unhesitatingly he sacrifices himself up for her, how loyal he is in enduring days-long torture to not give up information about her, how even when near-death and in pain, he's still willing to keep standing back up so he can fight by her side and help her win against her enemies.
And Mizu is not an idiot! She sees that too. She does not see him as a threat, an enemy, or even a bully. Especially not by the end of Episode 3, and definitely not by the end of the season. When she finds him in the dungeon in Episode 6, she smiles from relief, and doesn't think twice to take him with her. Mizu finds him, at best, an annoyance, or at worst, an infuriating hindrance on her quest for vengeance. Which is why, when Taigen is about to say, "It's a shame our duel's set for tomorrow; I have to kill you before you get your revenge," Mizu whacks him on the head without a second thought before he can even finish his sentence, and leaves him lying unconscious, face-down, in the snow.
And this further emphasises how he does not hold any power over her. There is no abusive power dynamic between them. She is more powerful than him, he knows this, and all he's ever done after they've met up again in adulthood is get his ass whooped by her, get mad about it and pester her and follow her around, get his ass whooped by her some more, and put his life on the line to protect her.
"OOoooOOoooH b-but he called her a demon at the end of Episode 7 and threatened to kill her again!!!" Oh my god. He called her that because he's calling her out on her selfishness to stay silent about her knowledge of Fowler's plans to attack Edo. Because to him, loyalty and honour as a samurai is more important than anything. So in his own brash-and-immature Taigen way, he felt betrayed that Mizu did not hold the same principles. That's why he got angry. He wasn't even that mad about letting Akemi get dragged off by the Tokunobu guards. It was about saving the Shogun and the Shogunate as a whole. That's why the first thing he does in Edo is not find Akemi, but try to warn the Shogun about Fowler's attack.
Look, I'm not defending his stupid ass, of course. Because calling her a demon especially after their cute little wrestling time was obviously rude and inappropriate, especially since words like "demon", "monster" and "Onryo" have had such a deep effect on Mizu throughout her life, and continue to contribute to her self-hatred. But like? That's the fun of realistic and flawed characters, and realistic and flawed relationships. They're not perfect, and it's why we as an audience root for them, wanting to see them work through their shit and find a way to prevail despite it all.
Also, him saying that was in the heat of the moment. He was angry, he felt like his initial belief of who Mizu was—a strong and loyal samurai, just like him—was shattered, and so he lashed out. Was it rude? Definitely. Was it immature of him? Yes, incredibly. But it's also very much in line with his character, because even though he's grown a lot over the course of the season, the show isn't over yet, so obviously his character arc is just beginning, as that is also the case for the other three main characters: Mizu is beginning to accept herself, Akemi is beginning to grow into her position of power, Ringo beginning to train under Master Eiji, while Taigen is beginning to simply be a better person.
On that note, when speaking of Taigen's immaturity, I think that's also one of the main things that people tend to gloss over when it comes to his character. Because when you boil everything down to its bare essentials, Taigen is, essentially, a boy. I've talked about this before, but to reiterate, Taigen very much behaves like an unhealed child. Even as an adult, he is insecure, prone to throwing tantrums, and is desperate to latch onto some material goal in hopes that it will make him feel better—initially he was chasing status/glory/greatness, and then when Mizu tells him that "Nothing comes from being a samurai but death," he immediately decides he wants to run away with Akemi in hopes that he will be happy.
And it's a big step, acknowledging that he doesn't truly want greatness, but had always just assumed it was his only path to a good life. But it's clear he still hasn't really figured it out. Because if he did run off with Akemi to get married and live in the countryside, he still wouldn't be happy. Because he still doesn't know who he really is, or what it is he really wants. Marriage at this moment is the last thing he needs, and as he is now, he would be a pretty awful husband. A simple life would be good for him, but would he be good at a simple life, when he still has so much he needs to work through?
So anyway, what I'm getting at here, is that he's trying and he is learning and growing. So yeah, he is flawed, but honestly? So is Mizu. And the funny thing is that they're flawed in very similar ways.
Because Mizu is also an unhealed child. That's why she's so angry all the time. That's why she pushes people away. That's why she, just like Taigen, is so happy when given the chance to playfully wrestle in the forge, laughing and rolling around like children without shame or pretense.
Again, this shows there is no imbalance between them. They had grown up together as peers from the same town. And while Taigen had had the upper hand back then, because he'd had a gang of other kids with him, that is definitely not the case anymore. Today, they are equally flawed, equally strong, equally skilled swordsmen, and equally bull-headed.
However, yes, Mizu is definitely leagues more mature than Taigen. But she still holds a lot of childhood wounds that mirror Taigen's own. And we see this especially in relation to her mother. Similar to Taigen who had an abusive and alcoholic father, Mizu's Mama was an opium addict and had hit her, berated her, had shaved her head without her consent as a child, and as an adult, had constantly emotionally manipulated and guilt-tripped her. Mizu's love for her Mama was what had driven her to a path of vengeance in the very beginning. And when she'd found out Mama was still alive, she had wanted nothing more than her Mama's love, and it was this alone that pushed her to agree to the marriage with Mikio in the first place. And now, knowing from Fowler that her birth mother is someone else entirely, is what makes her agree to keep him alive and haul his ass to London to seek answers.
Thus, integral to Mizu's self-hatred is also Mizu's intense longing for love and family. Just like Taigen, whose pompousness comes from his insecurity about being the son of a poor fisherman, Mizu's goals are also shaped by who her parents are. Remember, her vengeance is not against just anyone who's corrupt or evil, but specifically against the men who she believes had assaulted her mother, the men she believes had made her a monster, the men she believes had abandoned her to die and continue to try to kill her. Her vengeance is against a father, on behalf of a mother. In The Tale of the Ronin and the Bride, Mizu is not merely the Ronin, the Bride, or the Onryo, but also the Child.
This is also why Ringo is so good, not only for Mizu, but for Taigen as well. Ringo is wise and caring and considerate, but above all, he is in tune with his inner child in ways that Mizu and Taigen are not. He is always earnest and positive, he sees the world with childlike wonder, but is not naive or blind to its ugliness. His whole life has been a battle. Ringo brings out the best in Mizu, consistently acting as her moral compass and conscience, and Mizu's choice to save Akemi in the final episode is only because she promised Ringo that she would. Because it's the right thing to do. Ringo inspires her to be a better person, and to think outside of her narrow-minded goal of revenge. At the same time, Ringo also brings out the best in Taigen. While at first Taigen had looked down on both Mizu and Ringo ("Half-limb to a half-wit"), by the end of the season, he's proud to have Ringo as a friend and ally, he listens to Ringo's advice ("What would Master do?"), and asserts to the fucking Shogun that Ringo is a worthy warrior to have by his side.
Okay, I've gone on a bit of a tangent here, but my main point is that Mizu and Taigen are incredibly similar. They are equals. They are both flawed, unhealed children who are chasing some impossible outlandish goal in hopes that it will fill the void in their hearts. They also both have a long way to go in terms of character development if they were to ever build a healthy romantic relationship (either with each other, or even with anyone else). So while I believe things will be rocky (because duh, it's a story, we all live for the drama, etc), I think with Ringo's help, they'll get there eventually.
#blue eye samurai#blue eye samurai meta#mizu x taigen#taigen x mizu#taimizu#taigen blue eye samurai#mizu blue eye samurai#meta dissertations.pdf#im not a taigen defender. but i AM a taimizu truther#wank.mp3#sorta#fandom.rtf#shut up haydar#like i KNOW we all love mizu and want her for ourselves but cmon. let's be real here for a second.#ahem. hear ye! put down the delulu for a mere moment!#and ask thyself. why am i beefing with this pathetic bald man? a man who is the definition of a wet rat?#thus. my brother in nerd ass shit. i beg thee put down thy weapon. this man is not worth beefing with! he is literally... just some guy.#yes...he is bitchy. however! he is also a loser obsessed with mizu. remember this. he is not thine enemy. but simply...one of us.#also lmao like jokes aside lemme be clear. you ARE ALLOWED to hate taigen and taimizu all you like!!!! feel free to do so!!!!#but please just acknowledge it's like. a preference thing. like it's just not your cup of tea! thats A-OK!#but please dont insist that the ship is toxic unhealthy abusive etc#but if you still feel the need to do so. then for the love of god just tag your posts as anti-[insert whatever here] so it helps ppl mute#i knew how to tag shit as anti-makorra since i was fourteen! 😭 like it's basic courtesy cmon
101 notes
·
View notes
Text
shout out to the new pafl song for sanyaing. fun fact about me... i definitely didnt fixate on pafl when my artstyle was very influence-able. i definitely still dont draw like a ferry clone because of that time period. i also definitely am not a fan of sanya and totally didnt fixate on her specifically for two years from like 2019 to 2021 @nopanamaman
#parties are for losers#pafl#sanya kazarina#i cant believe im back in pafl hell ferry delete your channel slash joke#tqxicfqcility#art post#drawing pafl fanart to simply reaffirm my status as a certified ferry clone#i still use that shitty fl slayer guitar because of ferry too like i am literally just diet ferry atp... i am diseased. sick. ill
102 notes
·
View notes
Text
wrote something unbearably fluffy and I will be posting it on ao3 tomorrow but I wanted to do something a lil different and post it here. this is because I dont have the energy to do the format editing for ao3 rn but I want people to see it right now immediately
garashir, post-canon Cardassia, short and sweet, fluff that will rot your teeth out. enjoy <3
“Elim?”
Gentle hands resting on his shoulders rouse Garak from a sleep he didn’t even realize he’d fallen into. He jerks awake with a rather undignified snort, more startled than he’d care to admit as he straightens himself up in his chair. Falling asleep at his desk… he really is getting sloppy.
Those hands squeeze his shoulders gently. He would know that touch anywhere.
“Only me, love,” Julian’s voice murmurs, soft and reassuring, “Didn’t mean to startle you.”
Garak glances back over his shoulder, wincing slightly at the kink that’s developed in his neck from his awkward sleeping position. “You’ll have to forgive me, my dear,” He replies, offering Julian a tired smile, “I seem to have lost track of the time.”
He takes a moment to give Julian a quick once-over, his eyes heavy with sleep but no less sharp. He looks dishevelled, his hair a mess of loose curls and his jaw lined with a shadow of stubble. He doesn’t have any visible injuries, and his uniform is rumpled, but intact. So today was long, but likely not life-threatening. Good. He’d been worried, before he went and passed out.
Julian smiles back at him, a warm expression, though very tired. The lines under his eyes are deep. “I’ll forgive you, if you forgive me for being so late,” He offers, gently rubbing Garak’s shoulders, “Sorry to have kept you waiting. I was drafting requests for more medical equipment, and lost track of time myself.” He explains.
“How could I ever fault you for such a noble endeavour?” Garak asks, leaning back into Julian’s hands, which are doing wonders for what’s become a permanent stiffness in his shoulders, “I’m sure the staff appreciate your efforts.” His doctor has done marvellously, adapting to working in a Cardassian hospital. It took a couple of crisis situations before the rest of the staff finally took him seriously, but he’s managed to find a place for himself with minimal friction, as far as the hospital staff are concerned. Usually a Human would never have been accepted so quickly, but these are desperate times, and they can seldom afford to turn away such a capable pair of hands.
“They’ll appreciate it when I actually get the equipment,” Julian replies. He works his thumbs into a knot at the base of Garak’s neck, and Garak all but melts against him, a pleased sound rumbling low in his chest, “Dare I ask what you’re doing with Kukalaka?”
The question snaps Garak out of his pleased little trance. He glances back at his desk and finds that the bear is, in fact, sitting there, a needle still attached to thread hanging loose from his leg, which is half-sewn to his body. “Ah,” He says, now recalling what he was doing before sleep so unceremoniously claimed him, “Yes, that… well, I was rather hoping to surprise you with that tomorrow…” He hums, feeling a flash of annoyance at his plans being thwarted.
Julian leans over his shoulder, examining his handiwork. “Oh, Elim…” He murmurs, like Garak has just handed him the world, “You wonderful, wonderful man. You really are too good to me.” He wraps his arms loosely around Garak’s neck, rests his weight against him as he presses his warm cheek to the side of his head.
It never ceases to amaze Garak, just how easy it is to make Julian’s day. The smallest acts have him behaving as if Garak has put the suns in the sky just for him. “Hardly,” He refutes, because he could never be too good for the man who reminds him days after day that good exists in this universe simply by existing, “You may have convinced the little ruffian’s mother that you weren’t upset over Kukalaka being torn asunder, but I know you far better than that. I may not understand the significance of the little fellow, but I would be remiss if I allowed him to remain in tatters when I could easily repair him.” He reasons, and it’s an awfully long way to say I hate to see you sad.
“That little ruffian was all of 3 years old,” Julian points out, a smile in his voice, “And teething, might I add, so understandably cranky. But… thank you,” A warm kiss is pressed to Garak’s cheek, an action that turns him into a puddle of bliss and affection, “I would tell you just how much it means to me, but I’m afraid I’m much too tired to adequately express myself.” He kisses Garak’s cheek again, and nuzzles against him.
Garak hums happily, reaching up to rest a hand on Julian’s arm. “Oh, I don’t know,” He muses, rubbing circles into Julian’s arm with his thumb, “I believe I could infer the depths of your gratitude from, say… more kisses.” He suggests, tilting his head so that he can flash Julian a cheeky grin.
Julian snorts, buries his face in Garak’s neck as laughter shakes his slender shoulders. When he lifts his head again, he has the loveliest smile lines on his rosy-cheeked face, and the lines under his eyes don’t seem quite so deep anymore.
“You’re incorrigible.” Julian tells him, earnestly and completely affectionate.
“Yes,” Garak agrees, “And I do believe you love me for it.”
“Oh, very much,” Julian agrees, leaning in till his nose taps against Garak’s, “It’s one of your most endearing traits.”
Garak rubs their noses together, a gesture that is indescribably affectionate and also quite silly. “Tell me again about all those endearing traits of mine?” He requests.
“I’m far too tired for that,” Julian replies, his eyes flicking to Garak’s lips, “I think I’d much rather kiss you silly. Is that an acceptable substitute?” He asks.
Garak doesn’t respond verbally, just angles his head and pushes up to capture Julian’s lips with his. Julian makes a happy little hum as he kisses him back, and his smile as he presses his lips to Garak’s again and again says more about his gratitude and his love than any string of words ever could.
#fic bitching#star trek: ds9#elim garak#julian bashir#otp: I need to know that someone forgives me#what if they were disgustingly in love and domestic#this was a quick write ill probably edit it a bit before I post to ao3#as of right now this moment I am simply. too fucking tired to do that#need to go to bed#but please. enjoy these losers being just so sickeningly in love#the garashir post-canon Cardassia in my head my beloved
24 notes
·
View notes
Note
i'm really curious as to your interpretation of why krueger killed his parents, did he have a particular reason? did he kill them just because he knew he was capable to kill? i personally hc him as having a but of a god complex but it would be wonderful to see your input. thank you tumblr celebrity!! ❤️
I wanna preface this by saying that "krueger offed his parents" is my interpretation of his in-game lore (fled his home country to evade murder charges *and* both parents dead), and not outright stated.
It is a choice of mine to have never fully imagined what could have led to this. I like when things stay vague. I also (personally, again) headcanon Krueger to have psychopathic traits, so... there's always a part of uncertainty/shadow that is absolutely inherent to the character and my interpretation of him.
My headcanon is that he half-accidentally killed someone while in his early 20s. realised that the thrill associated with it was not "addictive" per se, but definitely indulged something in his brain. This, alongside having developed since his early childhood (I absolutely stand with you there) an unassumed god complex, and at one point in his mid-20s it just... happened. Can't be more precise than this because that's the extent of it to me.
Bonus doodles of early 20s ID picture and late 20s absolutely did not not falsify his papers KSK krueger because this man has never been arrested once in his life and doesn't have proper mugshots.
#I loved answering this ask lol. thank you for being interested in my take on the character 🥺♥#last sentence scalped me tho. please I am simply just a loser#krueger hcs#headcanons#krueger#sebastian krueger#my art
91 notes
·
View notes
Text
i don’t know what you guys are all complaining about i love that svu has vaporized olivia from woman on the verge to lady cragen
#she's behind the desk she's giving advice she's scolding the kids#she has a life we know nothing about but we know she's Seen It All and also is Lonely#i haven't been saying much about this season because here is the humiliating truth:#i am letting the cop show make me sad#(i should know better)#yes the lack of eo is a bummer but we've done it before we'll do it again#but having a season of genuinely interesting character work re olivia#to have the narrative directly engage with her as a soft furious grieving woman#to question her state of mind and what she does to herself in service of The Calling#only to not simply backtrack but neutralize her fully…#yeesh#is it a coincidence m has barely spoken a word about svu on any press appearances this season?#well no because what is there to say really#this is not a landmark season and there are zero plans to move olivia forward#she’s right where we left her tune into nbc thursdays at 8pm eastern#BUT what makes me most sad is that this shift was a demand from the viewers#(again! i should know better! and yet!)#i am just. a little heartbroken to have it confirmed that much of the audience loves olivia on the condition that she is Good#not only because she very much isn't#but also because that is boring and dangerous and speaks to our deeply warped perception of what it means to be a complete person#more specifically a complete woman#yet the audience lets out a sigh of relief! saint olivia is back! she is a Strong Woman giving Lawfully Good advice! phew!#remember when she was a little broken and volatile and seeing ghosts don’t worry she’s fixed now :)#please note my reaction is certainly tied to other real life happenings including 11/5 looming#alas it’s where i am#anyways dw you’re a loser
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
UUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#WHY DO I SAY THINGS#sorry. Just taken aback by how terrible my social skills are#i can never participate in discussions ever i am simply a little loser#also the Overwhelming Feeling that nobody actually likes you which i knwo is not true but it will NOT leave me alooooneeee#sorry for being so negative i’ll be okay in like a few days i swear#ticky rambles
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
*taps mic* hello.... is this thing on?
hi welcome to my blog or otherwise known as the: there's no johan liebert x reader content- much less any yandere johan liebert content which is a fucking travesty because monster is good and I thought it'd pick up at least a little bit of traction but turns out it's still kind of niche despite how all the goddamn sigma grindset maniplator communities on youtube love to use our blonde bastard as their mascot. But anyways here we— are be the change you want to see in this world fellas. ✌️peace.
#kidding aside. Hi!! welcome :) I've been on a philosophy binge study lately and what more to test my knowledge through one of the most phil#-osophical and psychological characters of all time johan liebert! might as well get some juices flowin in here while I'm at it too no?#as an avid x reader who never wrote anything ever- even for my greatest fave characters i'm doing this because i simply cannot take the-#-itch anymore. There's not much content for this man compared to other 2d faves....#how else am i supposed to get this loser out of my head 💀💀💀#I salute each and every person who wrote for johan liebert 🙏 i'm doing my part now.#I hate him. i hate him so much *makes out with him*
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
🐰🌧️
#so on my way home..#i walked by a school and besides the fact that i felt so depressed bc just looking at these kids and adults i have NO hope for the future#i saw two boys on a bench as i walked by... and i just thought they were talking. and too late i realized that no one of the boys were#bullying the other boy. the bully walked away and the other boy just sat there looking so lifeless and dejected#a teacher came and sat down w that boy and i just kept walking. even if i wanted to say smth it's like what would i even do abt that situati#that made me so sad both bc that boy.. he looked so dejected and used to it. that anxiety going to school knowing you're bullied is awful#and like i imagined talking to him and saying heyyy if you're lucky you'll grow up to be 25yrs old#live like a parasite off your mom and be on wellfare and never have had a job :)#you'll have no education or highschool diploma :) you will still struggle to finish hs even at an easier level :)#you will also not have had friends in 10yrs and you'll be terrified of ppl and getting close to anyone and even going outside!!#you'll have no interests and hobbies and skills! you'll simply be a waste of space loser being a burden on everyone around u!#whoop whoop stay alive buddy it will only get worse ❤️#god i just wanna cry. how did i let my life turn out this way??? i used to be full of dreams and life and passion and HOPE#i used to believe in things and in people. i had so many dreams and i wanted to try and do so many things#now all i can think is 'i wanna die i wanna die i wanna die'. im miserable wherever i go lmao#there's this bridge over the highway i have to cross when i walk to school and every time i look down at the trafic and when a truck drives#by i feel my entire body vibrate. i just wanna jump and get mauled by it.#or i dont *want* to but i feel so deeply and desperately that it's the only way for me#only way to make it stop hurting. and i am weak. i dont know how to just 'stop' or take control of my life. thats why i wanna die#bc i know that i wont be able to. that my life will never amount to anything#for fuck's sake my dream now is just to have my own 1bedroom apartment and have a shitty job - like in a grocery store or whatever!!!!!#not even that can i make happen! bc im so worthless i cant do anything. im also stupid so i wouldnt be able to do my job right#i dont know... i dont know... these feelings and thoughts are too much i just wanna relax#but i cant bc my ribs hurt and idk if it's heartburn or an ulcer 💀 why am i even alive???? what am i doing all this for? 😭#my thoughts ran away but i meant like seeing that reminded me of how much of a failure i became#bc of my circumstances and all the shitty ppl around me thru out my life
15 notes
·
View notes
Note
slams hand down do it you know you want to do it,,, sugar daddy au and now its just awkward as fuck but they get to Deal with It. bonus points for people laughing at them in the background. i am your inner demon whispering that this is a good idea and you should absolutely write it (no pressure ofc!!! take your time and its fine if you want to!!!)
for ship names. yeah very sad. i havent settled on like. a combination of their names that sound appealing to me so im just. sitting there awkwardly in Yun Taeheon x Shin Junseo. simple but it works. ill bonk my brain for ideas later,, i have cut down on thigns i need to hand in tomorrow im procrastinating because the thing i need to do is so horribly boring
maybe the korean side of the fandom has something going on but that would require me to go on twitter and figure out what korean words to put in the search box and I'm already failing at "go on twitter".
sdkhldfkhg the inner demons are winning. now I'm kinda contemplating how this would even start, which made me realize we know fuck all about Shin Junseo's past??? We only knew that apparently he had a shitty job before he awakened and didn't have any friends and seemingly also has no family.
So like? Local man signs up on an app bc honestly at this point being a sugar baby would not be worse than another horrible shift at whatever minimum wage job he has to pay the bills?
And cool, he hits it off with Yun Taeheon, something something business man. It's a lot less hollywood-pretty-woman than he expected, more nice dinners with genuinely entertaining discussions, and sure getting laid is nice too, and then, well, the world goes to shit for a hot second and well, the contract written before runs out, isn't renewed and Shin Junseo has a moment between picking up a shitty job again and awakening where he comfortably lives on his savings while his,,, ex? well, no, ex would be implying they dated. boss is also not quite the term, his previous situationship, made himself a guild master.
whatever.
and then the world goes even more to shit and he drags corpses and the memories of a world annihilated out of a dungeon. He makes his plan, keeps his head down and then fucking Yun Taeheon is standing in front of him again.
#ask#anon#weapon creator#btw i need you to know that i think YTH would be the one who is most awkward about it#like oh no that's the guy he was paying to spend time with bc he's a loser who can't find someone he'd like to date like a normal person#side note: i think yth is the kinda guy who'd text you at 1am like 'what flowers do i bring to meet your mom for the 1st time'#and while i think sjs was 100% telling himself all the time this is Just Business given how apparently starved for human connections he was#yth was probably genuinely going 'should i talk about just. being in a relationship with him?????' a couple months in#step 1 of being a sugar daddy FAILED#ANYWAY and he probably thinks 'okay i can play this cool'#and then sjs takes a look at the first contract he drew up#and says sth like 'oh wow you'd pay me more now' and yth would simply perish#sjs meanwhile is just awkward bc he suddenly has a lot more 'power' and is specifically wanted#god im so obsessed with how the only thing sjs wanted was to be useful and a friend#insane trauma to toss into the start of a story#dlfghdlfjkh anyway i am so sorry im just rambling
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me: Oh boy, I can't wait to be a barista! Those guys are queer and quirky and I'm gonna fit right in! My coworkers, the most aggressively normal people I've ever met, IMMEDIATELY deciding they dislike me because I'm Too Much: lol
#jaytp#chat when am i gonna get a fucking break#yes im loud#yes i talk a lot#yes im annoying#none of those are crimes!!!!!!!!#would it be so hard to pretend to like me????#(for the record this isnt like. my imagination. i asked a coworker i get along with and he TOLD ME lmao)#history repeats itself etc#im once again the loser in high school always being asked to make myself smaller and quieter and more normal#babes i am nearly 31!!!! even if i KNEW HOW to do that. i simply will not.#and i do not need to be liked! i do not care if someone dislikes me!#but if im working at this place full fucking time#surrounded by these people for hours??????#id like to be able to have a conversation with them!#unfortunately. they do not want that.#i cant wait for a month to go by and for someone to ask me why im so quiet#YOU MADE ME BABE#im not quiet i simply stopped trying to have a conversation with you#love having the kind of personality half the people i interact with immediately are repulsed by
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
the new life is strange game was good :)
#i did not think i needed her back but then max was saying her dumb ass jokes and we were so back#life is strange is not a series i thought i was like super attached to even though i definitely like it and have played all of them#(and many of the “spiritual successors” as well)#but i think simply had to tell myself that bc i go around in Gamer Circles and general consensus is that its a loser game for girls#as if that's a bad thing lmfao but it's still a pain in the ass to say i like something and have everyone bag on me so i coped i guess#but i am glad the haters lost this time :)
2 notes
·
View notes