#i am right where i need to be. and i have the ability to live and love and move forward despite the world's harshness
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hazel2468 · 1 year ago
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“Inaccessibility has a massive impact on disabled people, especially people with mobility issues and those who use aids like canes, walkers, wheelchairs, service animals, etc. and these things are often ignored and should not be and you are right to be angry about it.”
And
“Even within the disabled community, there is a disgusting amount of dismissal and yes, ableism directed at people who have needs related to mental illness/mental disorders- to the point that other disabled people will refer to those of us with invisible disabilities, chronic illness, and mental disorders as abled and tell us that our needs are lesser and that is not okay.”
Are statements that must co-exist.
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lesbianlenas · 3 months ago
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so many young women recently desiring to be stay at home mothers….the ironic part of it is that all of those women that do become stay at home moms will one day understand why the women before them fought so hard for them to not have to fulfill that role at the point at which they realize that their personhood has been entirely sacrificed in the name of motherhood & there is no going back on that. all women who are stay at home moms are forced to put themselves aside to take care of their children and husband & are forced to make that their entire identity & that is exhausting and dehumanizing. that is how betty friedan started second wave feminism w the feminine mystique. bc women finally realized that all women hated being housewives & there wasn’t smth wrong w each of them individually as they had all believed. but those that do not learn history etc etc……
#michelle speaks#being a stay at home mom is not sustainable for women in our society for a million reasons#& yet some women refuse to see that just to live out a fantasy they were sold as young girls#& for many of them i cannot blame them bc they r forced into it before they have the ability to really learn that there r other options#but for the women who r in a position where they can actively choose how to live their lives#that they would choose to be stay at home moms despite the insanely oppressive nature of it 😩#the thing is that YES there is an issue of women being forced to do economic labor & then come home & do the same amount of domestic labor#so now women r expected to do double the work right. however i want to propose a solution to this that might be crazy#women CAN & SHOULD set higher standards for men. do not marry a man that expects u to mother him. do not let him get away w slacking.#& yes that can be easier said than done. but my point being that setting higher standards for men while having independence that can allow#u to leave said man if need be is ALWAYS going to be the superior option to being entirely dependent on that man#listen i am DEEP on my sleep medication idk if anything i said made sense….#this woman on bb was like if i have 2 kids i’m not working i’ll br at home & i was like GIRL???? IN 2024???????#women should aspire to be so much more than someone’s mom…….u r a whole person w/o that.#this is mot to say that there’s anything wrong w wanting to be a mom it is abt women wanting it to be their whole identity#also this other woman keeps being like my husband LET ME be on the show girl he LET YOU???? IN 2024?????????????
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silent-moons-camp · 1 year ago
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I love space SO much. And it absolutely terrifies me too. If I wasn't terrified of space, and I was good at math, I'd be working at NASA. But even then I won't ever get to explore the galaxy in my lifetime, because we are nowhere near travel that equals the speed of light, and even then, lightspeed is still painfully slow on the cosmic scale.
Did you know that, no matter where we are in humanity, our sun will begin to die billions of years from now? We may all be dead and gone, or we may have evolved into something unrecognizable, or we may still be around. But one day, the Earth will be engulfed by the sun. Or it'll be thrown out of orbit. It'll be the end for Earth. We may have figured out how to go beyond the speed of light by then. We could have discovered that the Einstein-Rosen Bridge theory - wormholes - is real, and we could have used that to bend spacetime to our will and find somewhere new to call home, potentially even new universes.
But we don't know. Earth will likely become uninhabitable before the natural lifespan of our sun can engulf it, as a result of our very human mistakes and actions and impacts.
And... this is just a longwinded way of me saying, that's what Starfield is about.
It's about being human in the face of the divine, in the face of being so so so small in the universe. It's about conflict, the tragedy of it, how it can so easily destroy our humanity before time itself has the chance to. It's about looking at the petty wars between the UC and the Collective and going, "what are they doing? There is plenty of space for us all. This is only our galaxy, what about beyond?" It's about humanity pushing forward for answers about the universe and how they will always resort to the same petty violence over those answers. It's about how you can decide what you do with those answers. It's about looking in the eye of sure destruction that will certainly come one day, and say, "I will live and love in spite of it."
You can certainly become like the Hunter. You can continuously perpetuate the cycle of very human violence because that is all that is left to you, because you have embraced the uselessness of it all. Or you can become like the Pilgrim. You can settle down and bring love and kindness to others, and bring them knowledge, despite the fact that everything is pointless.
We are just starstuff. We come from the stars, and back to the stars we will eventually go, one way or another. And it's up to you to decide if you will embrace that as the only meaning in the universe, or if you will reject the simplicity of that, and embrace humanity, embrace love, embrace compassion, embrace meaning in spite of it all.
That is what Starfield is about. That's what it is about to me. And I love it.
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chitin-crusader · 9 months ago
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kindof losing my mind bc uhhhh. how am i supposed to like. afford to live.
#i am going to whisper in the tags bc i feel odd about YELLING my bs into the void#i do not have a job yet largely due to physical and mental disabilities#but when i DO start searching for one its like. 90% of online job listings out there are ghost listings#basically none of them hire disabled people and i have disabilities that REQUIRE accommodations#my job search is significantly narrower bc of my disabilities theres a ton of shit i just straight up cannot do#and they all pay about 1 ball of lint & two quarters.#i live in california which thankfully is (relatively) safe for me to transition#but its also. California. which is. Expensive. to live in.#and i have medications i NEED to be a functioning person monthly#on top of taking T at some point#so like ummmmm. chat am i fucked!!!!!!!!!#i could leave california but where do i even go thatd be safe for me AND affordable#its just so hard to get motivated to be independent right now when like. im 18 years old and i can barely walk anymore#im grieving my physical ability at 18 years old#i should be doing that at 70#and everything costs So Much theres no fucking shot i find anywhere in california i could afford IF i can even FIND a fucking JOB I CAN DO#unless i wanna live with my mom forever (who is constantly wearing on my mental health and i DESPERATELY need some distance from)#or live in a literal closet for $2000 a month#what if i have to sacrifice my meds to pay rent i literally am not a functioning human without them so i 100% could not work while off them#idk shit looks so fucking bleak for everyone right now but being disabled makes it a hell of a lot worse#i used to be excited about being independent now i just kindof dread it. or it seems more like a pipe dream#i dont wanna live with my mom til im 25 yall#and transitioning is expensive. and my mom is not going to cover my medical bills lmfaoooo#and idk whats going on with my physical ability so im probably going to have to pay for more doctors appointments#and tests and TESTS AND TESTS#for possibly years#til they figure out what the fuck's wrong#just not excited to live in poverty bc i am a young person in america and basically every young person in america is living in poverty atm#and also not excited to live in a world where i walk with a cane at 18#original
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blackvahana · 1 month ago
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reminder to self to eventually write on the coning of the term heaven (counrable noun) as distinct from realm, specifically an astral realm built to house gods. The way he described it was effectively like a software that runs well, but the hardware also supports someone walking physically through it as it's a miniature city in and of itself, with all the subsystems of sewerage and electric and so on. The way it exists is particularly intense but the mental image is of one of those rope things in a jungle gym where you can fall down it and at all layers it's supported by matrices of rope
The main thing is that a heaven is created from and supported by these ropes of big, heavy archetypal forces - it is to environments like a gods body is to a non-gods body. ANVD is going down the road of being a heaven in that it's supposed to be a house for gods, and specifically that conversation came about with the planets getting involved, those are.... heavy expressions of me and those I'm an incarnation with as well as being old and heavy divine forces - they are divine in that they blur the lines between personhood, externality, Consciousness, matter, and so on like aspects of gods do
Whether I succeed in making ANVD like this is besides the point, it's just an example: a heaven is a place that, again, is to an environment what a god is to a nongod, specifically it's lucid in many layers and has the underlying infrastructure to support god manifestation in its flesh. It's not that it just has backrooms that God's can spill into, or at least that's not what ANVD is drifting towards, it's that its flesh itself is capable of holding the consciousness.
It's ultimately a little bit more complicated than "it can withstand a god"? It's ultimately more so about the fact that gods are more present in underlying parts of reality that don't often get built up by those making realms, the behind the scenes type existence of gods fries the system. That's probably Lev's computer metaphor - a nongod can exist in a simulated mmo on a pc but will glitch the game out and fry the pc itself if present. Likewise, realms as opposed to heaven (realms, realms is still an umbrella term I'm just using it like this for now) can support those who don't exist with claws dug into the coding and logic of the realm itself as well as all the elemental things involved in it from fate to time to Mind to whatever else
It's not that heavens are just better realms either in case that seems like the implication, it's not that normal realms lack functions of heavens and that's the only difference. But now I'm sort of like... Oh right. I was trying to remember without realising I was trying to remember what exactly the afterlife and big realms were doing...
Reminder is still a thing because I'm sure I could describe this way better in the future when it's not 1am and I'm not half here
#Heavens specifically being... It's complicated actually. It's complicated#I'm not keeping blogs updated with work on ANVD which makes it more difficult. I am continuing to be very instinctively guarded about this#Not in the way I need to be it's very literally the ''touch my eggs I'll kill you'' instinct lmfao#Anyway. Wording may change but... As I said I was wondering what the difference is. Actually I've been wondering a lot of questions#And that... that crux: that heavens are to environments what god bodies are to non god bodies. That's it#There's an instinctive lived in knowing and ability to logic and create oneself in bodies god or not. Specifically gods have more opened#instincts as I'm defining god at the minute where the god is more conscious and developed I guess than the non god in terms of#all the extraneous bodies and all the spacetime selves and the powers and aspects and so on. It's the nature of Being where#something self-perpetuates and knows what it is as it has a core gravity - heavens have a core gravity and selfhood that expands like a god#does. Because non self realms are just mental realms. When the realm itself is self sustaining and anchored to various things - feeding and#producing a self and a body and so on - and that self is god-like but the environmental version of god-like. Yeah#À heaven I guess can be programmed and less self-created than this implies which is to say ANVD is very borderline a person#and I get that colours my vision of realms uh. But either way. If it's able to maintain it's own body and the body spreads into what gods#spread into and it maintains a reality and a self and a body on these levels and can house gods that's a heaven. Essentially.#ramblings //#Realms //#Im not sure about my descriptions here though I think I need to go read up on a bunch of stuff. There's something really fucking#weird in my mind in between me and realms. Like a cork on a bottle of wine. Right. Time to go drink with lev#But honestly I am something that is in a bottle and I keep trying to formulate thoughts on what realms are and something#stops me. I don't know what. Probably Black because this is what happens when I try to investigate things he doesn't want me sniffing
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thinkinonsense · 3 months ago
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FANTASIZE❦
old!logan howlett x fem!reader
*mdni
cw: cursing, nsfw, age gap (reader is twenty-five)
wc: 1k+
a/n: i have no idea where this came from. i was supposed to be working on something completely different but apparently, this needed to be written first instead. yes it is inspired by the unreleased ariana grande song.
⊱ ─── ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ ─── ⊰
Logan couldn't read minds. He never longed for the ability or power; he was better off not knowing what others had going on in their heads. He only wanted to peek into someone's mind when he caught your twinkling eyes lingering in his direction. Luckily, he could still read your mind even without the mutation because your fantasies were written all over your face.
It was obvious to anyone caught in the same room as you and Logan, that there was tension. You burned holes all over his body with your intense gaze. If Logan was in the mood to entertain your little crush, he could compliment you in a way that was sure to make you blush.
"Good form today, kid."
"Lookin' pretty today, sweetheart."
"Lemme fix that lipstick, dollface." That one left you with an ache in between your thighs as his thumb brushed your lower lip. "Can't have you walkin' around here a mess, now can we?"
Logan wasn't sure if he would ever make it to heaven but seeing your lip tremble with need was close enough for him.
If he saw you in a dress with a pair of mary-jane's, he would try to catch a glimpse of your underwear in the reflection of your shoes. It didn't always work but it made him feel young again.
No one was brave enough to address it due to him being twice your age. Despite being twenty-five years old and already having graduated from the school, it was still considered taboo to some. If anyone asked Logan about it, he would brush it off as a schoolgirl crush that you would eventually grow out of.
It was truly harmless he thought. You got the attention you craved and Logan got to see a pretty young woman squirm in her seat because of him. It never went further than flirtatious comments and lingering stares.
Today might be the worst day of your life. You and Logan were being sent out together on a mission to find a mutant that lived two hours away. It wasn't the mission that worried you; it was being stuck in a tiny car with only Logan for one hundred and twenty minutes.
"Why aren't 'cha talkin', dollface?" Logan asked, almost teasingly.
For almost twenty minutes, he was aware of your eyes watching his hand hold the wheel. Logan was also incredibly aware of the effect it had on you. A little broken sigh escapes you when his hand clenches tighter around the leather, making his veins pop even more.
"Too busy fantasizing 'bout me?"
No matter how much you tried to find someone your age to be with, your heart always went back to Logan. He treated you differently than anyone you've ever met. Sure, sometimes he made you feel like a kid but he also knew you could handle your own. Logan wouldn't let anyone underestimate you; that kept you crawling back to him.
"Maybe I am." You shrug, fed up with his games.
"Oh, yeah?" He says, taking a deep inhale of your sent. "What's goin' on in that pretty head of yours, hm?"
You were used to Logan's overly confident personality that he tried to use to intimidate you; and make you stumble over your words. It wasn't gonna work this time. Logan wanted you just as much as you wanted him, but you needed him to admit it first.
"Us in the backseat of the car." You admit, biting the inside of your cheek nervous for his response.
"Really? And what are we doing back there?" He asked, cocking his head curiously as his eyes remained glued to the road.
"You're on top of me, makin' me feel good." Your words were coy but that was the point. Logan liked being the tease; having all the power.
"Keep talkin', dollface."
There it was. You had him right where you wanted him.
You pretended to think about it for a moment before shaking your head and telling him, "No, I shouldn't"
"Why not?"
"Because an old man like yourself can't keep up with me, right? At least that's what I heard you tell the Professor."
Logan couldn't believe you had heard their conversation earlier this week. The Professor was the only person who knew the truth of how Logan felt towards you. When Charles asked him what was stopping him from pursuing you, all Logan had to say was, "I'm too old for her; can't keep up with such a young thing like her".
Which was far from the truth.
"So obsessed with me that you're listenin' to my conversations now?" He growled, pulling the car over.
"Stop acting like you aren't obsessed with me too." You smile at him. "I know a few pairs of my underwear 'mysteriously' disappear from my hamper. I know that you can hear me through the walls late at night, panting your name."
With each sentence, you inch closer to him. Logan could only compare you to the snake in Eve's garden; encouraging him to give into his temptations.
"I also know that you want me." Your eyes were dark with desire, making his pants tighter. "So, if you can't get it up or claim that you don't want me then that's fine with-"
Logan fumed with irritation and lust. Not thinking twice before slamming your lips into yours. He tasted exactly like you imagine; tobacco and mint. You were addicted; no one could ever compare to him.
In a rush, his rough hands pulled you into his inviting lap before one cupped your jaw and his other made its way up your skirt, toying with your lacy underwear. He wasn't going to give it to you that easily.
"L-Logan, please," You moan against his mouth, trying to create some friction on his lap. "Need it."
God, he's waited a long time to hear that; to see you so desperate in his arms. When he pulled back to look at you, Logan couldn't be more pleased with the image in front of him. Your eyes shut tightly, face scrunched, trying to concentrate, and lips pouty with annoyance. Logan removes his hand under your skirt; causing the prettiest whine to escape you. He thought you might be what finally kills him.
"We aren't done, sweetheart." He groaned in your ear. "Get in the backseat because you are gonna tell me every single one of your fuckin' fantasies."
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masterhallmark · 8 months ago
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Rant incoming
I feel like the problem with a lot of Disney's live action remakes (and arguably Wish) is they're trying to appeal to a crowd that no longer exists, namely the people who used to claim that the Disney Princesses were sexist.
All the interviews tend to include, "Well she's not chasing a MAN anymore" which...almost no one sees the princesses like that, anymore. Virtually NO ONE still believes the princesses are man-chasing sexist caricatures of women.
Cinderella is now hailed as an abuse victim who stayed strong long enough to get help to get out of her situation. Anyone who says she should have saved herself is basically regarded as a victim blamer. And it's very clear in the film she wasn't looking to marry the prince, she just wanted a night off. She was the only one who wasn't in line to meet him. She didn't find out she met the prince until he went looking for her!
Snow White is now hailed for her negotiation skills, ability to calm down after extreme stress (she had a moment of panic and had to cry for a bit, but who wouldn't after finding out The Queen hired someone to kill you?), and ability to take charge of a house of adult men. And again, she was an abuse victim, this time trying to escape ASSASSINATION ATTEMPTS. While she dreamed of her prince, it was secondary to her main goal of SURVIVAL. There are also entire video essays about how Snow White gave hope to people during The Great Depression.
Everyone acknowledges that Ariel wanted to be human BEFORE meeting Eric. We all know she was a nerd hyperfixating on humans, and also standing up to her prejudiced father.
We understand Sleeping Beauty wasn't the main character, the Three Good Fairies were, AND PHILLIP WOULD NEVER HAVE BEATEN MALEFICENT WITHOUT THEM! He literally depended on them! WOMEN SAVED THE DAY! But even then, is it really such a sin for a girl to fantasize about romance and fall for someone with corny pickup lines?
We all understand Jasmine just wanted someone to treat her LIKE A PERSON. She rejected every Prince before Aladdin because they treated her like a prize. So why did they need her to want to be Sultan? How did that make her more feminist when she already wanted to be treated like an equal and have a say in her future? Is it only empowering if you want a career in politics?
We admire that Belle, despite living in a judgemental village, was kind to everyone (even though she found the village life dull), and her story teaches girls that the guy everyone else loves isn't always a good guy. What's sexist about teaching girls about red flags? And she didn't start being nice to The Beast until he started treating her with respect and kindness.
Do I really NEED to defend Mulan or Tiana? I think they speak for themselves.
Rapunzel was yet another abuse victim who just needed a little help to get out of her bad situation. In this case, she also needed to learn that she was an abuse victim, and that what Mother Gothel did WASN'T normal, much like many victims of gaslighting.
And don't get me started on the non-princess animals.
Perdita had a healthy relationship with Pongo to the point she was open to express her pregnancy fears to him, and was ready to TEAR APART Cruella's goons for daring to touch her puppies as well as adopting the other puppies. Like, she was so ferocious the goons mistook her for a hyena! She's basically that "I AM THAT GIRL'S MOTHER!" scene from SpyXFamily if Yor were a dog. She and her husband were a TEAM.....but they made a Cruella live action to turn her into a girlboss?! The literal animal abuser!? THAT'S the woman you wanted to put on a pedestal when Perdita was RIGHT THERE!?
Duchess kept her kittens calm after they had been catnapped and was classy as heck. Nice to everyone regardless of social class during a time period where that was uncommon.
Lady stood up to Tramp when she believed he had abandoned her and didn't really care about her. She found out he was a heartbreaker and was like, "Nuh uh. No. You are not doing that to me! You put me through enough."
Miss Bianca from The Rescuers was IN CHARGE the whole movie, and was willing to risk life and limb to save an innocent child. THAT TINY MOUSE TOOK ON ALLIGATORS! And she picked Bernard to accompany her because he was the only one who wasn't ogling her. And then in the sequel SHE DID IT ALL AGAIN! I wish I were as brave as her.
Like, the public haven't accused these ladies of being sexist caricatures since 2014 (Actresses and actors don't count, they're out of touch like the rest of Hollywood) yet Disney is operating under the assumption that the public still thinks that way, hence all the "sHe'S nOt AfTeR a MaN iN ThIs VeRsIOn" talk.
The live action remakes are trying to attract an audience that doesn't really exist much, anymore, and back when it did exist, was comprised mainly of people who didn't actually watch the films. The Disney princesses are no longer seen as sexist, and feminine qualities are no longer seen as weak or undesirable.
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salemlunaa · 5 months ago
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TIME HASNT BEEN WASTED ᥫ᭡
This is easy stop panicking.
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it’s done, pay no mind to the “time you’ve wasted” because none of it is real it’s just an experience that can change in seconds. SECONDS.
Do you guys want a SUPER COOL method that will guarantee you the void/“I AM” state. Decide you’re a master of the void, pick the reality where you’ve done it a million times and that’s it. IT’S DONE. like seriously, the 4D is your only reality. You guys need to get it through your skulls that the 3D is not real. like at all. Your 3D is something you experience, not something set in stone and as soon as you decide it without wavering it’s true. I’m not gonna be superrrr tough on you and say “you’re still here because you want to be” because some people made their dream lives to escape the horrible reality they are living in and that wouldn’t be the best thing to hear. But you’re only experiencing you’re shitty 3D because your dominant thoughts are still with it. Stop saying you get it, start wavering and coming back to the app going round a cycle.
So don’t be discouraged about how much “time you’ve wasted”. Idc if it’s been a month or 2 years. you’re gonna be okay because manifesting is instant. you could enter the void right now if you put your mind to it (literally). Please don’t be upset over another day wasted in your shitty reality because it can change in a millisecond when you decide. You don’t need two weeks to change your “void concept”. Just decide you’ve always been this confident about your abilities and keep it moving, you don’t need all these challenges that last a week to reach the void, when you can reprogram your mind in a matter of seconds.DECIDE AND ITS DONE.
YOU ARE THE CREATOR. Anything you decide is true and becomes that way in a matter of split seconds, you should be excited to manipulate the world the way you want it and get your perfect life. because i know i am
“It’s been a year and i haven’t gotten in”
“it’s been 2 months”
“i have school next week and I NEED to tap in before then, i’ve wasted so much time!!”
NO NO NO
“I am entering the void today, like i’ve always done”
“i’ve always been this powerful”
“i don’t need the void it’s the other way around”
“who gives a shit about time, i manifest instantly, so time doesn’t matter to me”
SO STOP PANICKING. YOURE OKAY. DECIDE NOW. YOU HAVENT WASTED ANY TIME 💋🔮
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headspace-hotel · 9 months ago
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Problems like climate change, where solving them requires millions of people to collectively work at hundreds of different solutions at once, are black holes for internal peacefulness because they give you a type of frustration where you alternately become bitter towards yourself or everyone around you. "If only I could work harder to fix the problem!" makes you exhausted, so you must become angry at others: "If only they cared about the problem!"
People who are already working on fixing climate change need to convince more people to work on it. And a popular thing is to share writings that describe how doomed we all are if climate change is not fixed, how terrible everything will be because of climate change, and how quickly all the treasures of our world are being lost.
There is a particular understanding of human behavior that is being accepted here without thinking about it hard enough. Popular news media shows headlines with terrible prophecies, written that way in hopes of getting the attention of otherwise disinterested people, who will then be "motivated" to fix climate change.
The trouble is that fear is no good for motivating thoughtful, patient, steady commitment to solving a problem. Fear is made to cause an organism to avoid things that might harm it. It creates a brief and explosive pulse of action where the organism's energy pours out as it instinctively, thoughtlessly reacts to escape the danger as fast as possible.
It's silly to blame people for avoiding thinking about climate change. The point of an organism responding to stressors is to avoid them. Oftentimes, the only tool people are presented with is personal choices about what products to buy, which inevitably is horribly frustrating and stressful, since a person will frequently be coerced by their situation into buying a certain product, and even if they don't they see others doing it all the time.
Relentless exposure to imminent threats that cannot be escaped causes Trauma, which severely impacts a person's ability to be resilient to stressors.
I think there is definitely a type of trauma associated with being constantly aware of the destruction of the environment and feeling helpless to do anything about it, especially since we as humans have a deep need for contact with other living things and aspects of the natural world, such as trees, water, flowers, and animals—a need that is often totally denied and treated as merely a Want or a hobby meant only for certain people who enjoy particular activities, like Hiking or Gardening.
We need to expand our minds on how this disconnection can hurt a human being. Imagine if a child's need to be loved by their caregivers, a person's need to be loved by their friends and family, was treated as a desire for indulgence or luxury, or a certain use of free time!
Yes, yes, one person has a condition that makes it hard to walk up hills, another doesn't like the bright sunshine, another is allergic to the grass or fungal components of the outdoor world, but WE ARE PART OF THE FAMILY OF ALL LIFE ON EARTH and WE EXIST IN SYMBIOSIS WITH THE ENVIRONMENT WHICH TAKES CARE OF US. Who showed you what beauty was, who taught you to feel peace and relief inside you in the form of a caressing breeze and rustle of leaves, who gave you awe and wonder at seeing the stars or the mountains? Where does every delicious food come from but the soil teeming with creatures? Isn't the most perfectly sweet berry grown from a plant, nurtured by the soil and pollinated by the bugs? Don't you feel delight at seeing a springy carpet of moss, a little mushroom, or a tiny bird? Think of all that the trees give us. Whose breath do you breathe? Whose body frames your home?
The writings of Indigenous writers such as the book by Mary Siisip Genuisz I am reading right now show me that the other life forms are our family. They take care of us and provide for us, and they would miss us if our species disappeared. Isn't that a powerful, healing fact? I think everybody is so enthusiastic about the book Braiding Sweetgrass because it is a worldview that those of us coming from the dominant colonizer culture are straight up ravenous, starving to death for.
Maybe, I think to myself, humans can experience a kind of trauma from being deprived a relationship with their Earth, just as they would experience trauma from being deprived relationships with other humans.
I really believe that it hurts us to be surrounded by concrete instead of soil, to see a majestic tree cut down on a whim without any justice possible, to see wild animals mostly in the form of mangled corpses on the roadside, to have poison sprayed everywhere to kill the insects that life depends on, to hear traffic and lawn mowers and weed whackers instead of birds and flowing water.
We KNOW that this is physically bad for our health, the stifling, polluted, and stressful environments of a civilization that doesn't know the ways of the plants, but I think it's a kind of moral injury too, right? To see a beautiful field turned into a housing development of ugly, big, expensive houses—no thought given to the butterflies and sparrows and quail of the field? To see a big old tree cut down, a pond full of frogs obliterated and turned into a drainage ditch beside a gas station? They aren't just things, they are lives, and while expansion and profit and progress are "necessary," a nice old field of wildflowers or a pond full of frogs are a different kind of necessary. I remember feeling this as a child without words for it—the sheer cruelty of a world that is totally without reverence for the other creatures.
"They own the property, they can cut down the tree" "They bought the land, they can do what they want with it" <but it can also be wrong, and many people know this on some level, even though our culture doesn't provide us with the framework.
Fear could never give people the motivation to fix climate change. Constant fear of what will happen in the future forces a person to protect themselves from the relentless stress by shutting it out entirely or developing apathy.
A fear based argument for fixing climate change either causes a worldview of nature with no bond of kinship at all, based on the physical and practical dependence on Nature as a "resource," or forces people to experience their kinship with Nature only through grief.
Fear tells us that we want to live—it does not tell us WHY to live. If a person tries to live on fear alone, they will eventually find the desire to live burdensome and painful in itself. I see this emerging on a society wide scale in the USA, feeding on influences from the Christian evangelicalism that sees the Earth as something already sullied and worthless, to be thrown away like a dirty tissue, and on the looming monolith of nuclear winter that gave our parents recurring nightmares as children.
If you go to r/collapse on Reddit (don't do that) you will see a whole community of people who cope with the threat of climate change by fantasizing about it, imagining it as a collective punishment for all humanity and a cathartic release from the present painful situation.
We cannot learn to live without seeing the reason for living. We cannot save the Earth without loving it. We cannot heal nature without caring for it. In order to collectively take action against climate change, we must be moved by something other than fear—and that something is love. Not just love of the outdoors as an activity, but love of the Earth as something that loves us.
The dominant Western culture cannot borrow Indigenous land stewardship techniques as though they are just one climate resilience strategy, without being also willing to change its dreadfully impoverished way of viewing human relationships with Nature.
What right have we to think, "Huh, maybe those guys were on to something with the multi-level polyculture systems and controlled burns" while still thinking humans are nothing but a disease on the Earth, and that Earth would be happy to be rid of us? The sustainable ways of using the land practiced traditionally by cultures who have lived in relationship with their ecosystems for many generations work because humans can exist in mutualistic symbiosis with the life forms around them. We care for them. They care for us.
I know for a fact that plants seek relationships with us, and I was taught by them to see how interconnected everything really is, and how I was made to be a caretaker of my ecosystem. I was, a few years ago, just as I describe above. Too scared and pessimistic about the future of nature to bother loving it, and because of this, I could not realize my niche in the ecosystem. It felt for many years like I could do nothing—i believed in climate change, but I felt hopeless, so I put it out of my mind. But when I began to cultivate a love and reverence for the sad, scraggly, beaten-down fragments of Nature around me, everything changed. So much became possible.
I am still learning and exploring, trying to open my mind to ideas totally different than the ones I knew growing up, paying close attention to every plant and learning its ways. And it stuns me to think—some people write about climate change without this process.
The author of the book "The Uninhabitable Earth" (a scary book about how doomed the Earth is because of climate change) says in the beginning of the book that he is not very much of a nature lover. You fool, love is our most powerful evolutionary adaptation!
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zaczenemiji · 5 months ago
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Can you do a spiderwomen x kenji sato. Maybe she was sent to retrieve emi and then got caught by kenji, and she was put into a jail like thing. So now she's just stuck there. She starts flirting with him. If yk what i mean 😏👉🏿👈🏿🎀💓🌸
Have an ice cream cone. 🍦
Thanks ♡♡♡♡
Kaiju Heist
Kenji Sato x Spiderwoman!Reader
Word Count: 1,066
Genre/Warnings: Anti-hero, Flirting, Imprisonment, Morally Grey/Ambiguous Reader
Author’s Note: This one was a bit challenging, I hope it’s to your liking. Thank you for the ice cream, I offer you this fic.
MASTERLIST
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Your plan was simple: sneak in, grab the baby kaiju, and get out. But things rarely went according to plan.
Let’s begin where it all started—that damn spider.
Long story short, your parents were scientists doing experiments on radioactive spiders. You help in their lab and one day, an earthquake enormous kaiju shook the city, causing a containment breach. The next thing you know, a particularly aggressive spider bit your hand.
Of course, you gained extraordinary abilities. Others would’ve loved this and used them for good—be like Ultraman or whatever. But to you, it’s more like a curse. Seriously, you didn’t ask for this so ain’t no way were you going to become a selfless heroine.
So you did nothing with your abilities; you didn’t hone it whatsoever. You looked at it as if it’s just another arm that grew out of your body. Like grabbing a bag of chips from across the room, you’d shoot spider webs out to get it without standing.
Despite living your life as privately as you could, somehow, the Kaiju Defense Force was still able to find you. So here you are now, in their headquarters.
You stood there, arms crossed. “I’ve told you before, Dr. Onda,” you said. “I’m not looking to be a hero. I just want to be left alone.”
Dr. Onda, chief officer of the KDF, and old acquaintance of your parents, leaned forward. “I know. But this isn’t about heroism,” he replied. “This is a highly sensitive mission and you’re the only one who can pull it off.”
"And why should I care?" you replied coolly. "What's in it for me?"
"Payment, of course. A substantial one. Enough to ensure you can continue living the peaceful life you desire without any further interference from us,” Dr. Onda answered.
“And more importantly, it's a one-time deal. Complete this mission, and you'll never hear from the KDF again."
Your face expressed a guarded neutrality but inside, you found it so tempting—the promise of financial security and freedom from future obligations.
“What’s the job?” you asked, narrowing your eyes.
Dr. Onda tapped a few keys on his desk console, and a holographic image of a baby kaiju appeared, rotating slowly.
“It’s an entity of importance for the goals of KDF to be fulfilled,” he said. “Recently, it fell into the hands of Kenji Sato. We need you to retrieve it and bring it back to us.”
You studied the hologram, noting the details. "And how exactly am I supposed to move a 20-foot-tall kaiju baby without causing a scene?"
Dr. Onda leaned back, a small smile playing on his lips. "We have a special containment unit designed specifically for it. It's portable and can be deployed with your help. Your task is to get close enough to activate it and secure the kaiju.”
"And the payment?" you pressed.
Dr. Onda named a figure that made your eyes widen slightly. It was more than enough to ensure your financial independence for years to come.
"Alright," you said finally. "I'll do it. But remember, this is a one-time deal. After this, I want nothing more to do with the KDF."
Dr. Onda smiled, “You have my word."
You turned to leave but paused at the door, and glanced back. "I hope you're right about this, Dr. Onda,” you said. “Because if this goes sideways, I won't be the one paying the price."
Going back to the present—here you are, in Kenji Sato’s basement, trapped in a cylindrical glass containment unit, similar to the one the baby kaiju you were supposed to retrieve was held in.
A floating spherical robot circled around you. “We knew they would send someone,” it said in a mechanically feminine voice.
Suddenly, it projected a red light over your body, scanning you. “But I didn’t expect a spider-woman.”
You pressed your hands against the glass, testing its strength. "Nice trap," you said. “But it's going to take more than that to keep me here."
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” a voice came out of nowhere. Turning around, you see THE Kenji Sato with an eyebrow raised and his gaze locked with yours.
The biggest mystery that bothered you upon accepting this mission was how the hell did this famous baseball star had a giant baby in his basement.
You leaned back, crossing your arms over your chest. "So, what's the plan, Kenji? Keep me here forever?” you asked. “Or do you have something else in mind?"
Kenji smirked. "Depends. Why are you here?"
"Why do you think?" you replied, your tone flirtatious. "I was sent to retrieve that kaiju baby. But now, it seems I've found something else worth my attention."
Kenji's eyes narrowed slightly, "And what might that be?"
You gave him a slow, knowing smile. "You, of course,” you answered. “You're much more interesting than a simple retrieval mission."
Kenji chuckled, though he tried to hide it. "Flirting isn't going to get you out of there."
"Maybe not," you conceded, stepping closer to the glass, "But it does make this whole situation a lot more entertaining, don't you think?"
Kenji took a step closer, his eyes studying you. "You're not what I expected."
You tilted your head, your smile widening. "Good. I'd hate to be predictable."
There was a moment of silence as the two of you sized each other up. Finally, Kenji spoke. "You know, if you weren't here to take Emi, we might have been able to get along."
"Oh, I think we still can," you said, your voice low and seductive. "Besides, I never said I was strictly here for Emi."
Kenji looked at you, his expression softening just a fraction. "And what if I let you out?"
You pressed yourself against the glass, your eyes locked on his. "Then maybe, just maybe, we can help each other."
Kenji pondered this for a moment before shaking his head. "Nice try,” he said. “But I need to know more about you before I make that decision."
"Fair enough," you replied, leaning back once more. "But remember, Kenji, sometimes the spider catches more than just her prey."
Kenji turned away, a small smile playing on his lips. "We'll see about that."
You didn’t wanna include this in your escape plan because things rarely went according to plan. But in your mind, you noted: flirt, make him fall for you, and escape.
Taglist is open! Comment if u wanna be tagged on future Kenji oneshots
@moonlight-starlight-lady01 @eternallyvenus @puppyminnnie @wattpadsuckssohard @sakura-onesan
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tarotwithavi · 2 months ago
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A letter from your future self
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
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**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
How to choose a pile?
Close your eyes and take a deep breath and ask the angels to show you the right pile for you and open your eyes. The first pile that catches your attention is the right pile for you.
This is a general reading so only take what resonates and leave the rest.
Masterlist ✉️ Paid services
YouTube channel (New)
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT 🫶🏻💞
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
Pile 1
Dear past me,
This is me sending you a big hug through this letter. It feels like you’re always pushing, always defending what you believe in. It’s been tough, I know. But I want you to remember something important: this struggle is shaping you into someone strong and unshakeable. Each time you stand your ground, you are becoming more of who you are meant to be.
There is a quiet power within you that often gets overlooked, even by you. It’s that deep, inner knowing ,your intuition that whispers truths only you can hear. Trust it. Trust yourself. You don’t always need to shout to be powerful; sometimes, the most potent strength comes from within, from a place of stillness and certainty. Let that inner voice guide you, even when things seem uncertain or confusing.
And speaking of confusion, I know there are moments when everything feels like a blur, like you’re lost in a fog and can’t see the path ahead. Those moments are scary, but they are also where your deepest wisdom lies. Don’t fear the unknown. Dive into it. Embrace it. This journey isn’t just about reaching a destination; it’s about discovering who you are when the light is dim, and the road is unclear.
I want you to know that your fire is what makes you unique. Your passion, your creativity, and your ability to lead with courage even when you’re scared, that's your gift to the world. You don’t need to hide your light or dim it for anyone. Keep that flame burning bright, because it will guide you through the darkest nights.
Remember, I’m already here, living the life you’re dreaming of. I’ve faced the fears, the battles, and the doubts, and I’ve come out the other side stronger and more certain of who I am. And you will, too. Trust in the journey, trust in yourself, and know that you are exactly where you need to be right now. Keep going. The future is waiting, and it’s more beautiful than you can imagine.
With love and faith,
Your Future Self
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙��•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
Pile 2
Dear troubled me,
I see you there, carrying so much on your shoulders, wondering if it's all going to be worth it. You've put in the work, tried so hard to make things right, and yet sometimes it feels like you're stuck in the same place, like nothing is changing. I know you're tired. I know you're feeling the weight of all the choices you've made and the dreams that haven’t turned out the way you’d hoped. But I promise you every step you’ve taken, every seed you’ve planted, is leading you somewhere important. Even when you can’t see it yet.
I know you’ve been overwhelmed. It feels like you’re doing everything alone, like no one really understands the pressure you're under. You’ve been carrying responsibilities that aren’t always yours to bear, trying to hold everything together, and sometimes, it just feels like too much. And it’s okay to admit that. It’s okay to feel like you need a break. You don’t have to do everything perfectly. You’re allowed to put down what isn’t yours and take care of yourself first.
You’ve also faced those moments of disappointment the kind that stays with you, that makes you question your choices and what you’ve lost along the way. I know it’s hard to see past what didn’t work out, to not let it define you. But what I want you to remember is that these moments are not the end of your story. They are a part of your journey, a testament to your courage to keep moving, to keep feeling, to keep believing in something more.
There will be nights when you feel like you can’t escape your thoughts, when the fears and worries seem to have no end. You are stronger than those thoughts. You are more than your darkest moments. You have the ability to change your narrative, to find your way back to peace. I know it feels heavy right now, but you have it within you to rise above it.
There is a new path waiting for you. A chance to step into something different, something that lights you up in ways you never thought possible. A fresh start where you’re no longer bound by what’s held you back, where you trust yourself enough to take that leap into the unknown. Your spirit is ready for this, even if it doesn’t feel like it yet. Trust in the adventure that’s unfolding for you. Believe in the magic of new beginnings, and know that the future you’ve been dreaming of is closer than you think.
With all the love and faith in your strength,
Your Future Self
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
Pile 3
Dear Me,
I am writing to you from a time when things are clearer and lighter. I know right now, life feels like a series of choices and uncertainties. You’re standing at a crossroads, unsure of which path to take. But I want to remind you of something very important: trust yourself. You have a pure heart and a courageous spirit, and that's all you need to move forward.
Life is bringing you a connection that is deep and meaningful. Embrace it fully, without fear. It might not look like what you expect or come at the most convenient time, but it will fill your heart in ways you can’t imagine. This is your time to take a leap, to jump into new experiences without overthinking, without doubting. This journey might feel risky, but it will lead you to places where your soul feels alive.
Along the way, you’ll meet someone or maybe a part of yourself who is passionate, romantic, and perhaps a bit of a dreamer. They (or you) will inspire you to see the beauty in the small things again. Follow these feelings; they are your compass. But remember, not everything will be perfect. There will be moments of conflict and struggle. Sometimes, it will feel like people are challenging you or taking advantage of you. There will be a sense of loss or tension, like you've been fighting battles that wear you down.
But through these struggles, you’ll discover something powerful within yourself. You’ll learn what is truly worth fighting for and what isn’t. You'll grow wiser, stronger, and more determined. You'll start to see yourself in a new light a light that burns bright with confidence, creativity, and fire. You’ll become the person who knows her worth and doesn’t settle for less.
In the end, you’ll find a place of peace and abundance. A place where you’re comfortable in your own skin, where you feel secure and proud of what you’ve built for yourself. You’ll be surrounded by the things you love and the people who cherish you. This is the life waiting for you , a life that feels rich not just in material things but in spirit and joy.
So, dear me, be brave. Be bold. Trust the path, even when it twists and turns. Know that everything is leading you to a future where you stand strong, radiant, and fulfilled.
With love,
Your Future Self
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*
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gay-dorito-dust · 3 months ago
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Remy fic for @littlekidsteve
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It has only been a little while since you and Remy had managed to escape the void along with Electra, Laura and Blade before biding them farewell, all the while you and Remy took a long walk as you both tried to figure out what you were going to do now that you were free.
Out of everyone you and Remy were the closet and so the idea of saying goodbye to one another after everything felt wrong, Remy had become apart of you as you became a vital part of him, so much so to the point neither of you could fathom an life without the other being apart of it some way or another.
‘Got any plans now that we’ve escaped the void?’ You asked him and he hums while shuffling his playing cards, a habit you noticed he had whether he was in need of a distraction or in deep thought.
‘I have been in the void for so long that I didn’t think I’d ever get out mon Cher, nor would get out so I made my inescapable prison a home, so all this is…rather new to me.’ Remy admits as he looked over at you with a soft expression before nudging you with his shoulder. ‘You have lived a life before the void, I think you’d be better suited for that question.’
You chuckled as you rubbed the back of your neck. ‘Yeah well I’m pretty sure they’ve pruned it by now, so I’m just as lost as you are and I haven’t been in the Void nearly as long as you have.’ You told him and Remy couldn’t help but chuckle as he went to grab your hand, intertwining it with his own. ‘Then we shall find a way to navigate our new life, together.’ He promised as he then brought your hand up to his lips before softly kissed it.
‘You promise?’ You asked.
‘I promise mon Cher.’ Remy echoed and suddenly everything felt like it was going to be okay, the void was long behind you both as the future was on the horizon, waiting for your both to take it
And soon enough with time and patience you and Remy found yourselves in your own little apartment -that was funnily enough not far from where Wade, Blind Al and Logan lived- and living a quiet, domestic lifestyle, just like you had wanted for a long time but couldn’t due to certain circumstances. You couldn’t help but smile softly upon first seeing Remy with an peaceful expression on his face as he slept, he looked beautiful and at ease with everything that you found yourself admiring him in silence, not wanting to ruin this moment by sneezing or shifting your weight and waking him by accident.
‘Wade is right. You are beautiful.’ You muttered lowly as you memorised his face and the way the light from the window made his skin glow an almost golden hue, making him look ethereal, as you took the time to appreciate the way his eyelashes kissed the apples of his cheeks. Remy was a handsome man and you were in no shape or form to deny it when you were more then aware of this face since the moment you met, but it wasn’t his physical appearance that drew you in but more or less his heart and his ability to light up anything that he touched, and soon enough you found yourself falling for the Cajun Frenchman more then you’d originally thought.
Remy has consumed your every waking and sleeping thought, claimed your body and heart as his own with how his eyes never seemed to leave you the moment you entered the room, smiling at you warmly before cross over to stand next to you for the rest of the day while occasionally showing off a new card trick he learnt. Even during combat Remy would stay close by to keep you safe when he felt that someone was getting too close for comfort by throwing one of his kinetically charged playing cards at them, and when you look over at him he just winks at you and continues the fight.
‘I can sense you watching me mon Cher.’ Remy said as he smiles cheekily, opening one eye to look at you as he brought a hand behind your head, pulling you in for a brief but sweet kiss before pulling away to look at you. ‘Am I really as beautiful as you say?’ He adds in a whisper as though he didn’t want anyone else to hear your conversation.
‘You can’t be blind to your own beauty can you Remy?’ You asked as you moved a hand to rest upon his chest, tapping your fingers against his skin in an unheard rhythm.
‘I’m not, I just want to hear you say it.’ Remy replied as he found his eyes wandering across your face with fondness and admiration. You couldn’t help but laugh as you rested your head against his chest, nuzzling into him. ‘You are indeed beautiful Remy Lebeau, the most beautiful man I have ever laid my eyes on.’ You admit as you look at him, pressing a kiss to his chin as you felt his arms tighten on you, restraining you from moving away from him.
‘You flatter me Cher, but it is you who’s the most beautiful.’ Remy says as he presses a kiss to the top of your head, breathing in the shampoo and conditioner you used and closing his eyes, never having the luxury of experiencing peace before in his life but finding himself falling in love with it as fast as he did with you. Remy felt as though he could stay in this bed forever with you but knew with your plans for later today he wouldn’t, though that didn’t stop him from doing whatever he could to keep you in his arms.
‘Wade, Logan, Laura and their friends are coming over soon.’ You murmured.
‘I know.’ Remy relied.
‘We should get up soon.’ You continued.
‘I know.’ Remy repeated as he kissed your head again, cuddling you further into his chest. ‘We’ll get up soon, but for now can we just…stay here, please Cher.’ He adds in a plea and you couldn’t help but feel yourself slipping into sleep the longer you stayed in Remy’s comforting and strong arms.
‘I guess five minutes wouldn’t hurt.’ You said as you nuzzled yourself into his neck, kissing it. ‘Then we’ll have to…to…wake.’ Before you could finish your sentence you had found yourself fast asleep as Remy smiled down at you. ‘I’m sure they won’t mind Cherie, they’ll understand.’ He says before joining you in dream land.
Bonus:
‘Where the fuck are they?!’ Wade shouted as he, Logan, Laura, Al, dogpool and the rest of his friends stood outside in the hallway to yours and Remy’s apartment after banging on the door for the past five minutes.
‘They’re probably still asleep, best we leave them be before we fucking wake the rest of the apartment complex.’ Logan said, side eyeing Wade as he sifted the welcome gifts in his arms.
Wade pouts and just as they were about to leave, a rugged and scruffy looking you and Remy opened the door to greet them as Wade laughs. ‘You two looked like as though we’ve interrupted something between you two.’ Wade the leaned towards you to whisper. ‘Is the French dick that good?’ You glared at him as you flicked him on the forehead, watching him as he winced and rubbed his forehead with a pout.
‘We may or may not have overslept thanks to someone.’ You nudged Remy in the side as he smiles cheekily and brings an arm to your waist, tugging you into his side. ‘Guilty as charged.’ He said proudly as you both stepped aside for everyone to enter your shared apartment before joining them, happy to have known such weird yet beautiful people.
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charliemwrites · 10 months ago
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Woof woof… whimper
(Part 10… but technically a continuation of part 9)
Content: Dub-Con/Non-Con, Knotting
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It takes your cock-addled brain a second too long to process what Soap’s just said. What he’s implied. And by then he’s all ready for you to buck against him, confused and angry.
“That’s so — that’s not funny!” You shout.
But he’s got you pinned thoroughly, your chest flat against the mattress and your ass flush against his hips. His cock buried so deep you can feel the hot head of it bullying the deepest parts of you. All your struggling does is make you clench up tight around him, makes him feel that much bigger and meaner inside you. Makes him grunt low and ragged in your ear, all animal appreciation.
“I’m not laughin’,” he replies, nipping at your shoulder.
“G-get off of me, get out, get—”
His hand slides into your hair again, gets a firm hold at the roots and presses your face into the blankets, muffling your protests. Shushes you like soothing a panicked animal.
“Now, now,” he chides, “I still gotta prove I’m not compensating, don’t I?”
You suck in a breath, squeezing your eyes shut. There have to be a million explanations other than the absolutely ludicrous one he’s just presented to you. Cameras, microphones….
How did he know where you live?
How did he know where the spare key was?
How did he know where your bedroom was?
How did he find you at the bar?
Stalker, you tell yourself. He’s a creep, you’ve always known that.
Then where’s your dog?
“N-no,” you warble, bucking again. Nearly scream as his cock twitches inside you; only reason you don’t is because you can barely breathe as it is. He’s so deep inside that he’s practically in your lungs. “No way you’re my — there’s no way. You’re crazy. I’m gonna— ah!”
He draws out as you speak, gradual, and then plunges in again all at once, cutting you off. Grinds his hips in a dirty circle too, burying himself as deep as he can.
“Aww, poor thing,” he coos. “S’alright, baby, I knew this would happen. We jus’ gotta get all those big, scary feelings out first. Then I can explain it all nice and slow.”
You try to scream at him. Try to curse him out, tell him there’s no way in hell you’re listening to a word he says now; never mind letting him spend another second with his dick in you.
All that comes out is a high-pitched keen as he starts fucking you without further preamble. It aches, but you can’t tell in what way. If it hurts, if it’s the best you’ve ever had. Both? Your nerves feel haywire, brain dragged to lust-stupid depths.
“See, there we go,” he rasps, punctuating with a sharp snap of his hips on that last word. “My perfect little mate. Your cunt was made for my cock, made to be bred by me. Isn’t that right?”
You try to shake your head, but his grip keeps you from doing more than sending electricity down your spine, hair pulled taut.
“Yeah it fucking is,” he growls to his own question, canting your hips back further. His fingers grip cruelly into the flesh, sure to leave bruises. You wish you didn’t enjoy the sensation, wish it didn’t make you spasm around him helplessly.
“‘Bout time I owned you right back, don’t you think?” He continues, never stopping or even slowing. You yelp as he tugs your necklace again, arching your back at a steep angle. “Even collared yourself up for me. All it needs is my name.”
Something about that drives some awful, slutty part of your brain fucking wild. The idea of you with a tight leather choker — a collar — with his name (you don’t think about what name) hanging from your throat…
“Like that, don’t you?” He chuckles meanly. “Who’s my good little slut? Who’s my perfect, soaked little breeding whore?”
Tears spring to your eyes as you realize the “I am” is right there on the tip of your over-saturated tongue. If you had air, brain cells, any ability at all, you’d be crying it to the ceiling like the toy he’s treating you as.
He’s going to ruin you, you think. He’s going to fuck you broken. You’re crying and wailing on his cock, think you’d actually throw a tantrum if he pulled out and left you on the edge right now. Would, you realize in horror, beg for him to keep going.
And then he snakes his hand around your hip and starts rubbing your clit — fast, hard little circles. Just the way you like; the way you’d do it yourself. Relentlessly and cruel, even when you try to writhe away from how fast you can feel yourself getting to the edge. Almost frightened by it, how quickly he’s mastered your body’s pleasure.
Frightened by the extra stimulation at your entrance, too. A little extra friction at first — shocking because you’re leaving a puddle on the sheets. But then the friction becomes pressure, becomes… more.
“W-wha….?” You slur, hips wriggling.
Soap (Johnny?) snarls in your ear and that feeling at your entrance grows. Feels, you realize with alarm, like stretching.
“Gonnae take my knot so well,” he rambles, accent thick like syrup, trickling into your empty brain, filling you up with meaningless sounds. “Plug you up full of my cum, breed you right just like you need.”
Any questions or confusion are whisked away by the extra stimulation at your entrance. The sensitive nerves getting just as much brutal attention as your inner walls, your cervix, that sweet spot inside you that makes your eyes roll back.
It all becomes too much all at once and crashes through you, devastating. You clamp down around him tight and needy, lean all your weight back into his thighs. And he practically howls as he sinks into you and stays, grinding and humping without ever actually pulling out again. You feel a flood of heat that seems to go on for an absurdly long time, cock pulsing against your overstimulated walls, milked for every last drop.
You shudder as your brain tries and fails to process it all. Like trying to decipher a foreign language from white noise. It’s nothing but static to you.
You can feel a tongue against your shoulder, scraped of blunt teeth. Soap/Johnny licking the sweat from your skin and nipping bruises into the flesh. You make an annoyed noise that comes out whinier than intended, shoving at his face.
“Get off, you bastard.” Your voice is pathetic, thick with tears and fractured in a hundred places.
“Can’t, bonnie, even if I wanted to.”
You scowl, try to look at him over your shoulder. He takes that opportunity to nuzzle against your temple.
“What?” You ask. “What are you talking about?”
“Did ye hear me?” He chuckles. “Well, maybe not with the way you were screamin’. You’re all knotted up, baby. Can’t pull out — ‘less you want this pretty pussy to tear.”
You jolt, nearly yank yourself off out of pure fear, but Johnny keeps you still again, humming.
“Easy now,” he croons. “Still fussy? Need another to settle down?”
Useless as your brain may be, it recognizes what he means by “another one.” You think you might pass out.
“No,” you snap, petulant even to your own ears. “I want you to explain… explain everything.”
“Alright, hen. C’mere.”
He gently lays you out prone on the bed, then rolls you both on your sides. Hitches your leg up over his hip. You want to protest, but it helps the ache in your poor cunt.
“H-how are you still hard?” You pant, traitorous pussy twitching around him.
He growls in your ear, can feel him grinning against the lobe. “Will stay that way for a bit, lass. Don’ worry, you jus’ have to lay here all nice and still. Keep me warm while I explain things to you.”
And he does. How there are shapeshifters out there in the world, rare as they are. That he comes from a line of them. Recruited to military, as most of them are.
How he was on standard patrol when he smelled you for the first time.
“Like a wet dream, bonnie. Fertile. Spring. Smelled like mine.”
How he instantly knew you were his mate. That he just needed to make you see it. Never a good time to explain it all to you — and then there were interlopers and your silly little books and your pesky toys. How he tried to drop hints around the house, let you come to the correct conclusion on your own. But you never did.
“Honestly it’s a good thing I’m here, hen. You’re so oblivious. Lived with a man and never even knew it.”
That he tried to go about it the other way ‘round, as a man, but you’re just so stubborn. And then how it all led up to tonight. To you finally, finally realizing what you really needed: your mate.
You should be angry, furious. There’s a lot to say about… well, all of it. It’s horrifying and violating and… and…
And he hasn’t stopped bullying your clit since he started talking. Cruel, tight circles. Drawing the hood back with two fingers and stroke with a third, slow and languid and just soft enough to make your head spin. Rhythmless taps. Even pinches when you try to chew him out at one point, half turning to scowl. Instead have his tongue lapping sloppily at yours as your mouth gapes open soundlessly.
Makes you cum twice just like that without ever interrupting his own story, cock still hilted — knotted deep inside you. Honestly, you probably miss a good portion of it, some of the finger details for sure. But you get the broad strokes (among other strokes).
He licks at your overstimulated tears when he’s finished, nuzzling and kissing your cheek.
“I-I miss my dog,” you mumble finally, hands balled against your chest.
“Aww, darlin’,” he sighs, sounding genuinely apologetic. “We’re one and the same. I’m always your boy no matter what form I take.”
It would be more comforting if his dick didn’t throb calling himself your boy.
“‘Sides, I’m better than a normal mutt,” he continues, tugging you against his chest. You want to hate that is instantly makes you feel a little better. “Wolves mate for life, after all.”
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readymades2002 · 2 years ago
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HRM...i woke up at 830 pm today (hold your applause until the end please thank you) and i am still in a lot of pain because of this neck issue i’ve been having but i think. hm hm hm. i finally looked up the easier path to the library and despite it being cold outside and the fact that im just generally kind of a nervous wreck i think my sleep schedule is in a place where if i stay up i could walk there and maybe sort out my card...i think that would be nice
#and if i time it right i can ask my mom to pick me up so i wouldnt have to worry about carrying home as many books as i do#and if i do this i can get a feel for what walking that is like and see what's along the way...#so if there's anything that i could apply for i know what its like to walk there...?#idk its an experience i'd like to have at some point and i might as well learn what its like to do that in the winter anyways </3#the thing is. the thing IS. i hate being cold </3#the thing also is that i am in an amount of pain that im concerned about but im also at a point where its like#this is what my life is like now i guess so there's no point waiting for it to get better. if this is as good as its going to be#then i might as well try to live with it anyway!#...i do think getting a bunch of things from the library right now might be silly. i really should be drawing#i mean finishing (x thing) should be EASY its just. time consuming and i need to zone out for it#and then...finishing (x other things. listen dont worry about it it will make sense soon) is okay bc those dont need to be FINISHED finished#quite yet. i still need to figure out my sketch for (x) i havent done that yet bc the first thing is taking all my mental strength#and yet at the same time ive been unable to focus on it either because from the bottom of my heart i want to be#working on literally anything else <3#drawing for fun when you have other drawing responsibilities is like. near impossible for me right now but also necessary#because i am--dont be surprised!--losing my mind. a little eensy beensy bit. a widdle bit#the pain and the responsibilities and my own lack of discipline catching up with me...having an effect#all that and. *waves hand vaguely at everything else that is an issue but that doesnt come down solely on my ability to do something#about it so im trying not to complain about it* you know but whatever i forgot what i wassaying. oh and im working on#two different videos right now for fun because i do enjoy it even if its only for me and id love to work on those instead#but i think i have like nine hours before the library opens so thats time i should use to work on stuff and then go out as a reward#yeah....yeah you know what? that doesnt sound that bad#sorry for always putting the post in the tags im shy and being on this site for over a decade has impacted how i talk lol
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ellecdc · 4 months ago
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Running Late
poly!wolfstar x fem!reader who is visually impaired
CW: reader has a degenerative eye disease that has left her with little sight, boys are obsessed with her, Marlene and Regulus read Sirius like a book
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A/N: another fic no one really asked for but, after my post with our sweet wheelchair user!reader, our resident pink heart emoji felt courageous enough to share their own experience with visual impairment and I was inspired by her to write this - so, I hope you enjoy it 🩷 (and everyone else who might need it 🫶)
There was a time that you and Sirius rivalled one another for who took the longest to get ready, but lately it seemed that you usually won in that regard. 
Remus didn’t mind, however; he’d wait on you for the rest of his life if you’d let him. 
He had a certain amount of patience for you that he, admittedly, did not have for Sirius; seeing as you had your degenerative eye disease to blame on your tardiness whereas Sirius was just a slow and lazy sod who lived to drive Remus mad. 
He and Sirius had been dressed in their best in the living room as they waited for you to finish getting ready before heading to Regulus’ birthday party that Lily and James were throwing for him, when Sirius couldn’t take it any longer.
“I’m just going to go see what is taking so long.” He explained before he disappeared down the hall.
But that was almost 14 minutes ago and now Remus had lost two of his partners in his own flat.
He slowly made his way down the hall to the bedroom door that was currently propped open, allowing him to watch Sirius who was perched on the vanity table as he hovered over you with a stick of eyeliner in his hands. 
You used to be quite adventurous with makeup; always watching new tutorials and trying out different styles. But as your eyesight deteriorated, you opted to remain more natural in your looks, working primarily off of memory than visuals when having to hold a mirror so close to your face no longer allowed you the dexterity to work as you were used to. 
And Remus knew for certain you hadn’t touched that stick of eyeliner in what had to be months. 
“Don’t you trust my abilities?” Sirius asked teasingly; his tongue poking out the side of his mouth as he focused on getting the wing just right.
“‘Course I trust you, Siri. I just-”
“-don’t want to look silly, I know, doll.” Sirius finished for you softly as he leaned back to consider his work. “I’d never let you leave looking silly.”
“When has she ever looked silly, Pads?” Remus asked then, alerting the two of you to his presence. 
“Not once; never.” He answered readily, causing you to scoff.
“See, this is why I don’t trust you; you’re not objective.”
“I am too objective!” Sirius quickly denied.
“Sirius, you think I look sexy with my retainer and flannel pyjamas.” You deadpanned in return. 
“But… you are sexy with your retainer and flannel pyjamas? You just look so cosy which makes me think about bed, which makes me think about going to bed with you, which makes me think about what we do in said bed and-” 
“Alright, alright.” Remus interrupted with a hand on Sirius’ shoulder as he inspected Sirius’ handiwork. 
“How does she look?” Sirius asked him, leaning into Remus’ side as they both watched you flush under their attention. 
“Breathtaking.” Remus offered. 
“You’re not objective, either.” You murmured, pulling the small mirror close to your face in order to scrutinise Sirius’ application. 
“Fine, you want objective, gorgeous?” Sirius quipped as he pulled his phone out.
“What are you doing?” You asked warily as you heard Sirius’ phone begin to ring. 
“Calling the most objective people I know.” He answered just as the ringing stopped.
“What the fuck do you want? And also, where the fuck are you?” Regulus asked his brother.
“Hey Reg, you’re on speaker phone and I need a favour.” 
“On my birthday? You’re asking me for a favour on my birthday?” Regulus asked incredulously. 
“Relax you git, I just need you to find Marlene and put your camera on so you can answer a question for me.” Sirius called back.
You grumbled in protest at Sirius’ theatrics but acquiesced at Remus’ kiss to your temple and thumb rubbing along your shoulder where his hand rested. 
“The fuck does he want!?” You all heard Marlene ask Regulus, causing the two of you to snort and Sirius to scoff in offence. 
“You guys are fuckin’ horrid, listen; how do I look?”
Marlene went first. “Slutty.”
“Like you tried too hard.” Regulus continued.
“Like you’re still trying to piss off your parents even though you don’t talk to them anymore.” 
“Like you were lost at a Paramore concert back in 2007 and still haven’t been picked up from the venue.”
“Okay, okay, Jesus.” Sirius sighed before repositioning himself. “And how does Moony look?”
“Better, I guess.” Regulus offered. 
“If I had to pick a man.” Marlene continued.
“Great.” Sirius said sarcastically. “And what about Y/N?” He asked as he pointed the phone to you. 
Remus could tell you were trying your hardest not to completely turn in on yourself, which he himself was selfishly grateful for as he got to enjoy the view.
“God, she’s such a doll.” Marlene breathed out. 
“You look stunning, love.” Regulus called out.
“Great, you guys are both wankers, love you, see you soon.” Sirius responded before abruptly ending the call.  “Was that objective enough for you?” 
You let out a sigh of faux exasperation and threw your head back. “Okay! Okay.” You relented, allowing Remus to pull you up by your hands and kiss your forehead.
“Oi! Watch the makeup Rem!” Sirius admonished him with a pat to his arse. “We worked hard on that, don’t you know?”
And Remus did know, though he didn’t think you had to. 
Because you were beautiful - always had been - and the way you carried yourself with grace and determination even when you felt as though your body was failing you left you, somehow, even more beautiful. 
Remus had known you before your eyesight started to deteriorate, and he was lucky to have been able to love both versions of you.
Though, selfishly, he thought perhaps he loved this version of you more, simply because it was his.
Simply because it was you; here, now. 
And judging by the lovesick look adorning his boyfriend’s face as he watched you stand and give him a twirl, Sirius felt just the same.
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hughiecampbelle · 4 months ago
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The Boys Preference: Being Their Younger Sibling And Part Of The Boys
Requested: Hi! Cliche preference I am sorry, but how would each of The Boys act if R their younger sibling who helps out with the boys is like this really sweet and genuinely nice person to all? Would they be protective, or annoyed, just an idea! Love your work! - anon
A/N: Not cliche at all my love! I absolutely adore this idea! I will 10000% be writing more about being Homelanders sibling!! Thank youuuu I hope you like it!!! Feedback is always appreciated 💜
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Butcher wants nothing to do with you. When you're old enough, years after Lenny's death, you escape home and track down Billy. You had nothing. Billy took you in under the guise that it would be temporary and it wouldn't meddle with his work. Bit by bit you learned from M.M. and Frenchie about Becca and Ryan and Vought. You make it known you want to help. Billy forbids you and threatens The Boys: if they even so much as look at you, he'll kill them. Stubbornness runs in the family, though. You worm your way in whether he likes it or not. It's not that didn't miss you or think about you, he just can't bear the thought of you getting hurt. Or killed. Especially at the hands of Vought. It's become a habit for everyone to call him Butcher and you Little Butcher so as not to get confused. Now that there's two of you to keep track of, everyone's a little more annoyed and a lot less forgiving for poor behavior.
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Hughie worries about you so much. This life has taken everything from him, he can't imagine why you'd want to join. Still, he knows he can't stop you. You were always coming to his defense as kids, sticking up for him against bullies. You were his backbone for a lot of your childhood. When you want something you go for it. He can't help but lecture you, even over the smallest stuff. After your father passes and your mother finds her way into your lives, he's extra protective. Especially after Tek Knights party, he doesn't let you out of his sight. He's not glad it happened, but he sure is grateful it was him and not you. You've been stabbed and hurt and nearly killed. He jokes that it's taken years off hid life, but there's some truth to it. You're all he's got. He can't lose you. He can't let this life kill you.
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Annie stopped talking to your mother a long time ago, but she never stopped calling you. Like your sister, you got a dose of V and trained hard, wanting to be the first pair of siblings in The Seven. After Annie publicly leaves and turns her back on them, you're not sure what to think. Tired of her avoiding the questions, you confront her. You track her down and barge into where The Boys are. You guys get into a pretty serious fight, one everyone can hear through the thin walls. Annie abandoned you. She left Vought and became this fantastical symbol. She had a life and you weren't a part of it. You wanted her to stop lying and avoiding you and tell you exactly what was going on. It takes most of the night, but she tells you everything. In the end, she wants to send you back home with your mother, but you refuse. The Boys need every advantage they can get, that includes you and your abilities. She's not thrilled, but she understands you're an adult, she can't stop you.
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M.M. forbids you. Janine is getting into trouble and he's having panic attacks and he just can't have you trying this now. He can't babysit you on top of everything else. You remind him you're an adult, that you're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself. He can yell and scream all he wants, you both know you're not going to stop wanting this. It was your grandfather and father too who were killed by Supes and the stress. You didn't walk away from that unscathed. You had a right to be upset and a right to want to stop Vought. You kept your distance, but Marvin was blowing you off any chance he could get. You got his address from Monique and made a surprise appearance. Butcher tells you everything. You're furious your brother didn't tell you sooner. You could have been a part of this from the beginning. Butcher reminds you it's never too late, but Marvin tells you to go home and leave it to the professionals. You don't. You can't. This is too important. He doesn't like it, but he can't stop you. He never could.
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Frenchie couldn't have been happier to have you in his life. Your upbringing was harsh, your father a monster. When he left for New York, he had to make a choice: leave you behind or take you along with him. In the end, he left you behind. The guilt killed him, but you never blamed him. Not then, not now. You learned a lot from him, you're as equally as skilled. As soon as he becomes a part of The Boys, he asks Mallory to look for you. You vanished though. He'd assumed your father had killed you. It isn't until years later that you reappear looking for him, for Serge. You might not have an entire team of powers and knowledge, buy you're smart and skilled and you track him down. He doesn't recognize you at first. You're so much more grown up. But he knows your voice. You're the only one who calls him Serge and most of your conversations are entirely in French. Neither of you are particularly proud of your pasts, choosing instead to live in the moment. When you ask if you can join him he's over the moon. His baby, his best friend, reunited again.
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Kimiko can't believe it's you. Like your sister, you and Kenji were captured by the SLLA. Then you and Kimiko were later taken and given Compound V. After that you two were split up. She never thought you made it. It's years later that you escape, killing everyone in your path. Police plaster your face all over the News where Kimiko recognizes you immediately. You're older of course, but you'd always be her baby. She can't let it happen all over again like how it went with Kenji, she can't lose you. Kimiko hunts you down, alongside The Boys, who are wary of you. She assured them you couldn't hurt a fly. The carnage you leave in your wake tells a different story. When you do reconnect, she makes sure they don't draw any of their weapons. You two sign for what feels like forever before she takes you back to The Boys hideout. It hurts her, but she wants to know what happened in all the years between. You and your sister are unstoppable. Literally. You were never meant to have normal lives. This was how it was supposed to be. Trying to be normal just got you hurt.
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Bonus! Homelander absolutely fucking hates you. You were created long after him, but you had the same upbringing, the same childhood. The only anomaly was that you turned out far more humane. Because of this, Vought needed extra time to break you in. You never did, though. Not as severely as your brother. Vought was going to turn your debut into this grand political scheme, a massive fuck you to anyone who thought they could stop them, but before they could, you broke out of the labs. Eventually you found your way to The Boys. You and Homelander have identical abilities, though you're not layering through people's skulls or letting entire planes worth of people die. None of them believed you at first, but after you told them about your upbringing and your powers, they had no choice but to believe you. You were exactly what they needed. You and your brother were equals. John wanted you dead just like he wanted the rest of The Boys dead. Keeping you alive was necessary for now. So, he let you live.
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