#i am projecting onto him and also taking him back with me so that i can look up to him and be stronger
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glade-constellation · 3 days ago
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Man, I really feel like today’s LAES episode was an agreement to my character analysis post (not literally but all my points were there). Everything Earth talked about and explained was my exact feelings on the matter. Sun is in immense grief. Moon was doing nothing. Lunar is doing worse than nothing. Solar is the only other competent one in the situation, and he’s also probably feeling like shit.
It’s so upsetting when Earth is hurt because people never ask her if she’s okay unless she brings it up. Solar was the only one to ask so far. He only left her when she told him she would talk with Monty about it, and expressed she would feel guilt about putting her problems on him when he is going through his own. She is always placed on the back burner and is rarely ever comforted outside of when she asks for it.
I almost feel bad for saying she was going to be the best off in this situation because she very much isn’t. She is grieving too, but she’s having to pick up where Moon and Lunar are slacking off and doesn’t have time to process her feelings herself. She expressed several times how upsetting it was that she has barely any help taking care of Dazzle on top of her own work. She’s also had to pick up their slack at the Daycare, since Sun can’t come in and Lunar isn’t actually the best at his job by himself. She needs someone to help her right now, and I’m so glad Monty was able to step in and help. It made my opinion his reaction to all this change very quickly.
Her feelings on the matter are also just heartbreaking. She cares so much for Nexus, and any time she tried to express it Lunar would brush it off. Tell her that he didn’t care about Nexus. That, in a way, probably felt like he was telling Earth “I don’t care about your problems because they don’t interest me”. Stuff like that alongside his already spiraling relationship with her is causing a riff she doesn’t need right now. It’s something she simply can’t deal with on top of literally everything else.
Since this episode was set before Moon started helping, I am glad that Moon finally did help. But Lunar is still dragging his feet on this whole thing. “He wasn’t my brother, I was never close to him, I genuinely don’t care”. Then he’s all surprised when Sun was genuinely upset over Nexus’ death. Like he’s projecting his feeling onto everyone else. He didn’t care, so why does Sun? Every episode I watch leads me to believe more and more that Lunar’s entire sense of being is being changed by this Star power. Even if he is an animatronic, he still used to act very human. After the Astrals entered the picture though, he has slowly began to act more like them. Hearing that Earth feels the same way really validated my feelings on this. Literally used the word apathetic, like I did in my earlier character analysis post.
All in all, I am desperately waiting for Earth to get the help and time she needs. Because I do not want to watch her try and bottle this all up. I am so very thankful that Monty is willing to help her and that she has an outlet. If Monty wasn’t there, I think Earth might have eventually snapped. I don’t think that outcome would have been pretty, especially between herself and Lunar.
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cluescorner · 8 months ago
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Randomized Robins AU - Ages + Worst Trait Exercise:
Steph (25):
Says her worst trait is her murderous rages (she is exaggerating for dramatic/comedic effect, she’s killed 3 people tops and for very good reason)
Thinks her worst trait is her spitefulness (one of the few traits she definitely got from her father + one that prevents her from fixing her relationships and living her best possible life. She’ll refuse to interact with someone she dearly loves after an argument (happens significantly less after Tim’s death) or will say things she knows are hurtful just for the sake of having the last word. This trait will worsen in some ways as the list of people who have wronged her and those she loves grows, but will also ease up as she matures and realizes the harm it’s doing to her relationships with those she loves most.)
Her worst trait really is her spitefulness
Cass (26)
Says her worst trait is her self-righteousness (she believes that her goals are righteous and, as a result, she is righteous. Cass becomes very defensive whenever someone questions the mission and often does not second-guess herself. This is a trait she only develops later in life as she grows closer to Bruce/learns to understand herself more/starts to love herself more. But she knows she isn’t perfect and when somebody she trusts criticizes something she is doing she is willing to listen. She just usually isn’t the one to START the introspection.) 
Thinks her worst trait is her self-righteousness. 
Her worst trait actually is her obsessiveness (she gets it from Bruce and, while not as bad as him, she will easily become preoccupied with her night-life and the mission if someone isn’t there to pull her back. She will do this to the point of self-destruction and it hurts her relationships with the people she loves, especially Steph.)
Tim (24)
Says his worst trait is his spitefulness (he actively rejects the idea of mending his relationships with the older members of the family and this causes him to also lack good relationships with the younger ones)
Thinks his worst trait is his obsessiveness (similar to Cass, if he gets fixated on a task or idea he will neglect everything else in his life in order to dedicate more time to it. Unlike Cass, he will almost never be dragged away from it unless Pierrot snatches control of the body and forces them to take care of themself.)
His worst trait actually is how manipulative he is (the KING of guilt-tripping and using people’s emotions against them. He’ll do whatever he needs to do to get what he wants, he’s not above crocodile tears. And he will do it to whoever he needs (or wants) to with little care for how his actions impact others.)
Pierrot (Insists: “Age doesn’t apply to me! And even if it did, I'd probably be the oldest. Or the youngest! I’d never be a middle child, though.” Mental assessments by the Bats have put him around 21, with a margin of error of 3 years. Pierrot has called this “blatant character assassination by my eternal rival!”)
Says his worst trait is that he is an irredeemable psychopath without any regard for the wellbeing of others (this is a lie and everyone who's important to him understands this). 
Thinks his worst trait is his parasitic nature (he literally would not exist had Tim not suffered the way he did. Plus he is a living reminder of one of the worst things that happened to many of his loved ones. He is a parasite injected into a functional person's body and contributes to his continued suffering. This is also a largely incorrect judgement of himself, caused by his actual worst trait.)
His worst trait actually is his limited sense of self (he doesn’t really know who he is outside of ‘inheritor to the legacy of the Joker (a man he despises yet also views as a father)’ and ‘chip in Tim’s brain that became sentient’. He slowly develops an identity over the course of his life and relationships with other people, but he lacks the foundations of identity that most people have. Pierrot will often almost become a caricature of himself and what others perceive him to be because it's the only person he knows how to be. This causes wild swings in how he behaves and relates to others, sometimes to the detriment of himself and others.)
Dick (17) 
Says his worst trait is his clinginess (he is a very extraverted person who likes to be around others, which mixed with his fear of abandonment after his parents died means that if he goes a few days without seeing/talking to a friend he will get very anxious.)
Thinks his worst trait is his anger issues (he gets ticked off very easily and will explode on people. He’s kind at his core and is usually very nice, but he has a temper that can escalate significantly. Spoiler (and later Twist) help him channel this anger into something positive.)
His worst trait actually is his anger issues.
Barbara (18)
Says her worst trait is her disability (internalized ableism, she thinks of herself as less valuable than the other Bats because she cannot be out there in the capes like they can. She will grow out of this as she matures and as she learns how invaluable her support for the team is.)  
Thinks her worst trait is her disability 
Her worst trait actually is her overly-independent nature (In an attempt to overcompensate for everything she can no longer do, she has resolved to do literally everything that she possibly can without any help from others. This results in many instances where she either takes on too much and winds up not being able to fully realize any of her tasks or where she makes her life and the lives of others significantly harder by refusing help when offered/not asking for it when she needs it.)
Damian (16)
Says his worst trait is his perfectionism (he is overly critical of both himself and others, taking any flaw or problem and amplifying it to an absurd degree. This is due in part to his life with the LoA (where even a brief misstep could lead to death), in part to how others treated him initially as Spoiler (any flaw was fixated on and used as a reason to either mistrust him or portray him as unworthy of the mantle), and in part due to the fact that he is Bruce’s son (the only person with worse perfectionism problems than Damian). Gradually, Damian has improved in this regard but it’s still a massive barrier to both his own happiness and his relationships with others.)
Thinks his worst trait is his perfectionism 
His worst trait actually is his perfectionism
Duke (16)
Says his worst trait is his definitely-real secret evil side (says this as a ‘my dad is a villain so who knows??’ joke)
Thinks his worst trait is his impulsivity in his words (Sometimes he will crack a joke or say a remark without thinking it through, leading to a LOT of hurt feelings and drama. He’ll say something without thinking it through and wind up seeming insensitive. This isn’t done because of malice, rather because Duke is someone who’s quick to act and speak. But while the mantle of Insight and his awakening powers have helped him with his actions, they do not always help with his loose tongue. As such, Duke gains an unfair reputation in the media as an instigator and will accidentally cause family drama through what he says.)
His worst trait actually is his impulsivity in his words
Jason (14)
Says his worst trait is his bad manners (he grew up on the streets and has no idea how rich-people society works, which he’s pretty insecure about considering he’s now the youngest kid of Bruce freaking Wayne). 
Thinks his worst trait is his reactiveness (Jason never got the privilege of planning ahead for various events in his life, so he instead needed to rely on being swift and harsh in how he could react to situations. It’s saved his life on multiple occasions and helps significantly in his role as Spoiler, but it can also lead to extreme overreactions (accidentally causing kidnapping scare after Jason ran away following a fight with Dick) and a struggle to plan things out ahead of time. As he grows more secure in his place in the family and in life, this trait will lessen but never fully dissipate.)
His worst trait actually is his reactiveness
#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#tim drake#dick grayson#barbara gordon#damian wayne#duke thomas#jason todd#batfamily#randomizedrobinsau#I'm debating whether I should tag this with the Joker Junior tag and those related to it for Pierrot#because like...it's not quite that. but it's also very close to that and is the direct result of that.#but Pierrot would fucking HATE to be tagged as that and sees it as an insult to his identity...which he already has problems with#so I don't think I'm gonna#anyways lmao I am totally projecting my younger self onto Barbara. How could I not? She's literally the reason I view my disability#the way that I do and she actively improved my mental health just by existing and saying some of the shit she did when I was in the#stages of accepting my own disability. So yeah I am projecting a lot onto her because I love her and see myself in her.#I'm mostly basing these characterizations on my favorite versions of them (ie Red Robin 2009 Tim and Birds of Prey Barbara).#so I'm taking the traits I like/think fit in this AU and discarding what I think either is bad or doesn't fit or if I just don't like it.#Damian's 'murder gremlin who is a meanie on purpose because he is a meanie' is entirely unappealing to me and also does not fit this AU#I prefer him when he's portrayed as a sympathetic kid (who is still an asshole) and not a demon child. So that's what I'm using.#same with Talia's 'abusive mother who is totally on-board with all of her father's bullshit and will kill someone for no reason' version#I have read enough comics to know what I like/what is most important and what I don't like/what is#BLATANT CHARACTER ASSASSINATION GRANT MORRISON YOU FUCK YOU SET TALIA BACK SO FUCKING FAR#I also decided to outline their WORST traits because I already know what I like about these characters/their best traits.#most people do. But what was a greater challenge was finding what would make their lives and those of others worse.#what would I hate about this person if I knew them IRL? What would I first suggest they get therapy for? What hurts them and why?#I found these questions really interesting in the context of this AU where some people are forced into completely different roles#the says/thinks/is was inspired by trying to answer that question for myself. I say my worst trait is my impulsiveness but when#I asked others in my life they answered 'oh so you said your weird thing where you don't ask for help right?'
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vehemourn · 8 months ago
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2 freaks
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triglycercule · 2 months ago
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i want to headcanon the mtt having absolutely terrible hygiene and struggling to keep themselves clean (this MAY... just QUITE POSSIBLY.... only in the SLIGHTEST bit be projection) but i think it would be too gross and man EVEN I dont wanna think about that
also killer canonically smells good and i actually really LIKE that idea so oh shit there goes that idea out the window. horror and dust youre my only hope please let me make you smell bad for reasons you won't understand
#also i dont think i. just got a sense of dejavu wtf. anyways#i dont think im THAT bad at maintaining my hygiene..... like i dont bed rot for months which isn't good by any means#but if i havent reached that point of bad hygieneness then i dont think i should be talking about this topic#sure i may uhhh may struggle to brush my teeth and shower multiple times a week but like. ngl it's not that bad#i am NORMAL okay THIS IS NORMAL. people struggle with this stuff all the time everyday i dont need to be making a whole post on this topic#i wish that the capital i in this app looked different. because when i wanna emphasize I it just looks normal#i type like how i speak has it not become glaringly obvious yet. so it boggles and bothers me when i cant emphasize i like i can irl#the laundry piles in dusts room are probably unfathomably tall he just throws it all into one corner (HES JUST LIKE ME FR!!! I DO TJIS!!!!!)#all the water in horrortale has turned toxic and polluted and bad so horror's only option is to not shower or shower in dirty water#he chooses the former because what if that water has monster dust sprinkled in it. his paranoia wont let him shower in dust infused water#TRIGLYCERCULE GET YOUR FUCKING LIFE TOGETHER INSTEAD OF THINKING AND PROJECTING ONTO FICTIONAL CHARACTERS. SCHOOL STARTS IN 3 DAYS.#I KNOW I KNOW IM SORRY.... IM SORRY OKAY I KNOW!!! I KNOW THIS IS BAD!!! I WILL TRY!!!!!!#anyways back to projecting. do you think dust has sheets on his little matress bed#because the sheets will enevitably get dusty and then he's gonna have to lay on the dust of those he killed and thats a bad thought#sheets can fix the problem temporarily because he can just change them out and wash them#but also.... changing sheet hard.... take long time..... dust just want sleep.... rot away..... so no sheet on matress??? idk#dust might be able to make fun of horror and killer for having food issues but#killer gets to make fun of dust and horror for having hygiene issues#he's had his lows but he's never gotten THAT low 🤣🤣🤣🫵🫵🫵 LOSERS!!!!!#what does horror get to make fun of them for??? idk murder#killer might be able to keep himself clean but he cannot keep anything else around him clean with thet goddamn eye goop so HAH take that#me on my way to overshare with strangers on the internet. this isnt that bad compared to other stuff ive seen online actually#triglycercule can you just shut the fuck up and get back to posting about the mtt nobody CARES#alright..... limps away like a kicked and beated puppy...... like killer after getting abused by nightmare for the 56th time..........#advanced humor only utmv fans will get it#tricule rant#i said i wasnt gonna make the post but i did infact make the post. just in tags#me when i LIE#just offically reached 50 drafts where my medal. i should clear them out? alright shoot that guy
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mutalune · 5 months ago
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hey siri how do I stop feeling gutwrenchingly anxious in the guilt way for using the treatment methods available to me to not be in constant misery
#starlight personal#it’s very bizarre to have my life going objectively well - work is good! personal life is good! family is good!#and still be very mentally ill and feel like I’m faking it even though I know damn well I ain’t scream-sobbing every couple of days alone in#my apartment for attention because What Attention??? my cat????? Bug is never moved by my tears she cares only for string and wires#like I know that cannabis has been immensely helpful to getting me to fucking sleep on a regular schedule and that’s integral to -#my functioning and I know that having emergency klonopin in the event of a total breakout is helpful#and I KNOW that my PMDD and depression and anxiety are very treatment resistant and ketamine is the only thing that’s provided any -#meaningful relief and logically I know I’m not abusing any of these#I’m getting a promotion at work I still go out to see friends regularly I have hobbies I have a girlfriend (??? Wild right)#like clearly these things are working because i’m better now than i was for years leading up to now#SO LIKE. DON’T STOP USING THE THINGS THAT HELP. LOGICALLY THIS MEANS THESE ARE GOOD FOR ME#I always roll my eyes when ppl go off their meds b/c they’re feeling better like babes that’s what the meds are meant to do#if you stop taking them you stop feeling better - but it’s REALLY HARD to get past the cultural conditioning#the feeling that ‘but I can white knuckle my way through this I can force myself to live without’ like WHY BITCH#WE DON’T HAVE TO LIVE WITHOUT#AND ALSO. WE’RE STILL GENERALLY MISERABLE BRO. EVEN WITH OUR LIFE IN A BETTER PLACE!!!#DO YOU NOT THINK THIS MEANS THAT WE SHOULD USE WHAT WE KNOW WORKS TO BE LESS MISERABLE#basically it’s really hard to not feel like a loser when the only things that help are ‘fun’ drugs like weed and psychedelics#I feel like I’m being a hedonistic reprobate which 1) is actually kinda cool now that I wrote it out#2) @ myself were not a good enough liar-faker that every medical professional we see wouldn’t pick up on that if that was our motivation#time to remind myself that it’s arrogant to think I could trick many trained professionals without actively trying tbh#that generally helps me get out of my self-pitying ‘ohhhhh I’m awful and lazy and bad and abusing substances’ spiral#to be very mentally ill on main it is weirdly reassuring to be like ‘just as my fanon interpretation of obi wan kinda hates himself but is -#practical enough to take care of himself even when it makes him cringe and want to scratch his face off; I too am aware that self-care is -#radical and punk and In Fact Necessary to beat back the dark and live in the light with hope so yes even though I doubt and -#feel squiggly and guilty about it I’m not going to NOT prioritize my health and well-being b/c self-hatred and self-denial benefits no one’#thank you inner obi wan i love projecting my issues onto you mwah mwah mwah smooches for my favorite boy!!!!!#and smooches for me I’m going to be proud of myself gosh darn it even if I have to fake it at first#see I wouldn’t be able to be nice to myself like this if I hadn’t been doing ketamine treatment for a year IT WORKS BRO KEEP IT UP#SCHEDULE THE DAMN APPOINTMENT AND CLEAN YOUR BONG
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helmetjellyfish · 7 days ago
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there wasn’t a convenient way to put this on my last post, but ryou notably refers to his mom as ママ (“mama”), as opposed to お母さん (“okaa-san”) or 母さん (“kaa-san”) which mahiro and koutarou use respectively when speaking to their mothers. it’s the same as what nagisa uses for nagiko and carries a more familiar/childish connotation.
#mine#you could probably make a case for it being another aspect of the “normal girl with no problems” persona#and it does add to the theme of 'becoming an adult' that we see in his story#i also like to think that (on top of these things) a small part of it stems from ryou caring abt his mom#of course their relationship is complicated. vol. 8 makes it clear they haven't been seeing eye to eye for as long as ryou can remember#we see she can be dismissive of his personal opinions and also constantly pushes heteronormative ideals onto him#(saying “you won’t find a husband acting like that” to an elementary schooler is a lot. and maybe even a bit of projecting on her part)#but also. But also.#i think about him in ch. 33 a lot. not just the way he reacts to the shitty dad visitor but his interactions with the mom too#those panels where she thanks him for calling out her husband on his behavior and we see the look on ryou's face. ugh.#i think he's very aware of the hardships his own mom had to go through b/c his dad failed to take responsibility for either of them#and i think that could feed into the “act like a normal girl” thing too. don't burden her any more that you already have just by existing.#but that's starting to get into speculation/headcanon territory so i'll stop there#(and ofc interpretations where they are more estranged are equally valid. if you want ryou to hit the bricks and leave home#as soon as he graduates all the power to you. my own interpretations are shaped by my own experiences etc etc)#anyways i kind of regret not making an 'extra' category on my last post for the sake of catching bits like these#and the raws are back to being paywalled again and i unfortunately did not think to screencap anything except this#(mainly because it took me by surprise)#so it'll be hard to verify anything... off the top of my head though i believe some other things were that#shizuka goes from calling yo 'matsuzaki-kun' to 'yo-chan'#asahi calls his sister 'nee-san'#and i know i didn't include her on the roster but ren calls ran 'onii-chan'#that's about all i can remember. maybe they'll have another event next year#...i'm not sure if this is relevant to include but i personally am transmasc (albeit not trans binary male) so#ryou's story does hit close to home w/ certain beats. he's not my favorite character but i do like him
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teaboot · 2 months ago
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I've never had a cat before and I'm hoping to get one soon. Do you have any advice?
Treat a new cat as you would a new roommate. Give them space and time to settle, establish a pattern and a rhythm, and in time they may choose to become friends and spend time with you. Dont force a friendship.
Use simple words and repetition to establish communication. Words like breakfast, treat, snack, lunch, supper, dinner, food, and eat all basically mean, "I am feeding you; expect to be fed", but it's a lot for a little guy to remember. I just say "Dinner" when I mean "cat food is coming", and so my boy knows exactly what I mean when I say it. As a plus, using only one word for snack time means he has no idea what the other words mean, so I can talk about food in front of him without ruling him up.
Pay attention to body language. Cats all have different personalities, and you'll learn their likes, dislikes, and messages over time this way. Son boy here loves anything with plumbing but dislikes getting wet- his favourite blanket to chew and snuggle goes on his favourite chair, and he gives me a specific gesture when he wants me to kneel down so he can jump onto my shoulder.
Read into problematic behaviour. Cats pee in weird places when they're hurting, in distress, or have insufficient of unclean litter box space. Biting, attacking feet , and knocking things off tables often means they're understimulated and need you to play with them, or at least need some kind of enrichment or puzzle to tackle. Tail flicking can be frustration or irritation. Purring is usually good, but may also be self-soothing behaviour to alleviate pain, encourage healing, and relieve anxiety, like over-grooming.
Like children, "bad" behaviour isn't malicious- it usually means there's something you aren't seeing.
Learn how your cat expresses love. Loads of people think cats are uncaring, cruel, and indifferent, but the truth is, they're just not dogs. Spending time near you, showing an interest in tools you're using or projects you're working on, sitting the way you sit, laying on their back, rubbing on your legs, wiping their face on your shoes when you get home- these are signs that your cat is enamored with you. You're their family, they feel safe and protected around you, they're curious about things you enjoy and want everyone to know you're family.
Set reasonable expectations. Again, cats are not dogs.We bred dogs to desire our approval- cats walked into our lives themselves. They have no human-programmed need to fulfill a duty or perform a task to your standards.
Training cats to do tricks isn't as hard as people say, but the willingness or interest in doing the trick is more heavily reliant on personality and mood. Some cats will refuse all but the most basic requests- I'm lucky in that Ollie understands and is willing to do several, provided I don't abuse his trust and he's not crowded or overwhelmed or just bored of doing it over and over in a short period.
Ollie, for example, knows Up to stand on his back legs and hold my hand, Down to get to a surface I indicate, Out to emerge from a closed space, Come to find me where I am, Help? when I'm offering to let him use me as an elevator, Dinner when I understand he's hungry and am getting food, and when I put on his collar he knows to climb into his carrier 'cause we're going somewhere. And he'll do any of these about 90% of the time, either ignoring me or phoning it in when there's something interesting somewhere else, or if he's feeling anxious.
Lead by example. If you dread taking them to the vet, they'll see the anxiety in your body language and behaviour and likely learn to hate it, too. Again using my guy an example, I starred taking him on walks long before his first vet appointment, just to get used to his carrier and leash. Then his first checkup was relaxed and informal, with plenty of treats, and I let him explore the examination room with permission from the tech. Now he loves going, so I'm not stressed about taking him, so I don't stress him out in turn, and the vest doesn't have to deal with a stressed out cat slowing things down and fighting with them.
Make sure your sources are good ones, and also good ones for you. I will recommend Jackson Galaxy's YouTube channel for cat advice because a lot of what he does matches up with what I've learned and know to be true. I don't personally recommend Ceasar Milan because I personally find his methods distressing to recreate regardless of efficacy, so even if that advice was useful, *I'd* be miserable, and it'd just be trading one issue for another.
Have a person who can help. You never know when you might end up out of town overnight unexpectedly, or when your place may need serviced or fumigated, or if you may be called out of town. Before getting a cat, research reliable pet sitters, house sitters, pet daycares, whatever, just in case.
Consider pet insurance. No long spiel here, just think about it. Especially if you don't know your cats ancestry or potenyial health risks. An on top of that, fucking vaccinate them.
Dont let them free roam. At all.
I grew up on a farm with free-roaming barn cats. Do you know how many times child-me cried over having to bury them? Illness, disease, pregnancy, vehicles, other territorial cats, ticks, fleas, litter, poisoned prey, malicious humans, local wildlife, predatory birds, scrap metal, extreme heat, freezing temperatures, tainted water sources, poisonous or venomous critters, getting stuck in small or high places, tapeworms, loose nails, old equipment, falling branches...
I've seen some truly body-horror slasher-movie shit- just truly nauseating visual fuckery- and I'm telling you not to let your cat free-roam.
Leash training isn't hard. Supervised walks aren't hard. Even keeping your cat physically fit and entertained indoors isn't an impossible feat. Don't let your fucking cat fucking free-roam. Fuck
Also read up on foods and plants cats can't do, like every houseplant in existence is toxic it's insane
Anyhow yeah that's like. A couple things I guess
Here, have an Ollie Pic
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arsenicflame · 1 year ago
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It used to be that he and Ed would sit together upon an evening, sharing a drink and some quiet time together after a long day. Ed would do all manner of things, puzzles, smoking, whatever's captured his attention at this moment- but Izzy would always do the menial tasks, the things he didn't have time for in his day, too busy running around from dawn till dusk. But in these quiet moments, he would get to do those small things, he'd get to turn his brain off and sharpen knives, or blacken leathers, but most often, he'd do the mending.
It became such routine that Ed stops noticing, it becomes just another thing Izzy does for him, another part of his job, add it to the list.
Eventually, as their relationship breaks down, they stop having their evenings together. But Izzy never stops mending Ed's clothes. He brings the pile back to his room, working by the light of a candle, returning the clothes before Ed ever notices they're gone. It continues even on The Revenge, Izzy scooping up Ed's repairs as he spends time distracted by Stede, by the crew, by his rediscovered zest for life. All the while Izzy goes on unnoticed, declaring his love in every stitch.
When things settle down after the reunion, Izzy starts picking up Stede's mending. He picks it up before he restarts with Ed's, still (justifiably) angry at everything that happened. But Izzy's duty has always been to his captain, and Stede's his captain now, even if he might not be ready to say it out loud.
He drags the clothes to his room, at first, things damaged in their sword fighting training and found in their raids, but Stede's way more aware than Ed, especially about his clothes, especially when he has so few, and he notices the repairs quickly. It takes him a lot longer to pick up that its Izzy doing it, assuming its the usual Frenchie / Wee John repair team, but one night Ed's telling tales from his past, and his nights together with Izzy come up, and it all clicks.
Stede wont stand for Izzy doing the mending in that tiny cabin of his, and drags him back up to the captains cabin. Its awkward at first, with tensions still running so high between all of them. The obvious issues with Ed and Izzy, the yet unspoken words between Ed and Stede, and the now new bond between Izzy and Stede that has this sitting between them- the fact that Izzy did it, and the fact that Stede noticed.
It was never a thing he and Ed addressed and Izzy doesn't quite know what to do with himself, with Stede taking an active interest in what he's doing- to be fair, Stede doesn't know what to do either. Even if he never said it in as many words, Ed's story showed him the sentimentality of this for Izzy, and he doesn't quite know how to react to this being offered to him- of Izzy offering this to him- he doesn't even know if Izzy truly understands the weight of why he does this, but Stede, looking in from the outside can see the meaning plain as day.
All he knows is that he likes it and he wants more- and maybe he wants more from Izzy in other ways too. Having him sat on their sofa with their mending, a kind of domestic bliss that he never had, but is maybe beginning to realise he wants. Its never like that with Ed, they feed off each others energy too much, get too amped up, but here, with Izzy, he can sit in complete silence but know he's not alone.
The first time he kisses Izzy is on one of those nights. He's just finished fixing Stede's favourite shirt and offered it to him to check over and Stede all of a sudden finds that he's unable to help himself, pulls Izzy down by that fucking necktie and kisses him so hard it knocks his glasses askew- things progress quickly after that.
After, Ed will be told what happened. After, Stede and Ed will stop dancing around where they stand. After, Ed and Izzy will finally talk about all the things they never said.
It ends much as it starts, with them sat together on an evening, with a drink or a book, chatting and laughing, with a pile of mending, fixed with love.
imagine izzy pulling out that sailor’s sewing kit and quietly mending stede’s torn clothes, without being asked to. this is something he did for ed all the time (ed Can sew but he gets too restless so it never gets done) and now it’s what he does for stede. stede loses his mind in a combination horny/sentimental way.
#ACTS OF SERVICE#Izzy sewing is everything to me (i am projecting my interests onto him)#also those sewing kits are calling housewifes/huswifs ... everywhere i go i see wife coded Izzy#additional hcs that Izzy and Ed made his huswif themselves back when they were kids. on Hornigold's boat with scraps of whatever they could#get their hands on. from raids and rags and stolen cloths. Izzys necktie was one scrap that they deemed 'too nice' to cut up for the kit#the huswif has got embroidery all over it; things they planned and things they didnt- Ed could never concentrate long enough to sew#functionally but he loved the little doodles he could do (this later manifested in his tattoos)#Eds forgotten this (or so Izzy thinks?) but Izzy has treasured that thing for years- mends every worn spot before it becomes a hole#kept it safe through boat changes and raids and even a fire- he would grab it over almost anything he owns (as precious as his ring)#they made that; together; with their own hands. its theirs in every way. a symbol of Ed and Izzy#its not the most functional huswif ever; but its theirs and Izzy wouldnt swap that for anything. Stede asks about it once and Izzy gets so#defensive that Stede never ever suggests a new one- but he does give Izzy a little pile of fabric hes collected to make new additions#to make room for new embroidery. not removing from what they had; just adding something new- some new strength for the weak spots;#some space for new doodles.#nyxtalks#ofmd#ofmd s2 spoilers#izzy hands#dude im sorry this was supposed to be just a silly little tag ramble about izzy sewing but it got out of hand#but i am taking ur 'SHARING YOUR META BOY' to heart dfhndnd :D
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itsnathateasy · 1 month ago
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aot characters reacting to you asking them “what are we?”
warnings: just fluff word count: 1,1k author's note: this was a bit silly hehe, too silly, it broke my heart because they’re all drawings and not people
⭑🌻 ⭒🤎 . ✦ 🙈 . ⁺ . ✦ 🙈 . ⁺ . ✦ 🙈 . 🤎⭒🌻 ⭑
eren dies and i mean DIES to make things official with you but, let’s face it, eren’s a scaredy cat when it comes to matters of the heart. he does, however, reassure you that he’s thinking seriously about you two and that you’re really important to him, but he wants to take things slow
armin blushes all over but has the biggest and happiest smile on his face. he’ll have you sit down and talk through things together, making what was a situationship, now official. he stutters all the time, not because he’s shying on you, but he’s so excited, his words are trying to match the pace of his thoughts and he just stumbles over his words A LOT. he’s also trapping your knees between his own in an attempt to face you the entire time of your conversation, your hands intertwined on both of your knees
HEAR ME OUT, but mikasa probably gives you a glare, her eyes as wide as physically possible and exclaims “we’ve been dating for all these months, what do YOU think we are y/n?”, then grabs onto your hand, intertwining your fingers together, scooting closer to you on the couch and shushes you, “don’t interrupt movie night with silly questions”
levi is kind of like mikasa, in the sense that in his head, you’ve also been a couple for quite some time now, but when you surprise him with his question, he’d simply sigh, and hold both of your hands in his. he’d explain that even though this is what he thinks it might be the right time “to make it official in a proper way, right?”, looking up at you with a crooked smile. he’d kiss your hands and strike you with a “do you want to be my silly lil girlfriend/boyfriend y/n?” “why would you call me silly levi?” “we’ve been dating for 7 months and you dare ask me what we are… i know what YOU are and it’s “very silly”, as previously stated”
hange doesn’t even get it and responds with “uhm what are you talking about? we’re comrades” they said as they dag in the garden, their current project being “planting lilies”. you kneeled down beside them, proceeding to helping them with the holes on the ground. if hange paid one tiny look at your face, they’d know you were upset by their response, but instead, they kept on babbling about the plants and shared all the new information they’d learned about soil and seeds. what really got to them, was how you never responded to any of their statements. “something wrong y/n?” “yes hange, i asked you what we are and you said “comrades”, is that all i am to you? after all this time?” at this moment, you could see the confusion in hange’s face, the gears in their mind finally rolling. “oh y/n, i thought you meant right now cause we’re still on scout premises, you know… i think we’re a very happy, romantic couple and i’d like things to stay this way. but when on duty, we’re comrades” they said and gave you a sweet peck on the lips, you face becoming greasy with soil from their hands as they cupped your cheeks.
erwin is upset, what kind of stunt are you pulling on him? “we’re married, y/n. have been for 2 years now. what is this little game of yours?” he said and crossed his arms, staring at you intently. it was extremely difficult to hold back your laughter, it almost felt that you were about to choke trying to hold your breath. “it’s just a joke erwin, i’m filming your reaction” you explained and pointed to where you’d hidden your phone, camera capturing the both of you. “you and your pranks” he said, while grabbing the phone in his hand and saying “she got me… AGAIN!”, camera on him, then handed the phone back to you, kissing you on the temple. “we’ll sort this out later”
ymir will simply smile contently at you and hold your hand, a silent reassurance that you’re a thing. ymir tends to be more on the shy side, so she conveys many emotions through physical touch and by giving you certain “looks” and tons of special treatment, but you’ve come to know this is her way of expressing her feelings towards you
connie wasn’t expecting this conversation to happen right now, but he’s the calmer of group. “imma put this out there y/n and i hope i won’t regret it” he took a deep breath in as he held both of your hands in his, thumbs softly pressing down on your skin. “i know we agreed to be casual but this isn’t working for me anymore. i want us to properly be together, if that’s what you want too of course” he paused and waited for your response, avoiding your gaze. you responded with “of course it’s what i want too co-” but before you could finish his name, he hugged you tightly, squeezing your breath out of you and kissing all over your face the moment he pulled away. “is it too early to ask you to meet my mum?” connie pleaded innocently.
jean will play it nonchalant, as if he wasn’t about to burst and die because he wasn’t sure about your situation either, but was too scared to be the one to ask you first! “the talk” is quite welcome though, you can see how jean seemed more calm the more you talked about your situationship and where it might lead you, agreeing that you’re in it for the long run. he’s been giving you the puppiest of eyes throughout your conversation, only shifting his gaze elsewhere to put a strand lock of hair behind your ear or to caress your cheek. did i mention he has the goofiest smile? you almost thought he might be having a stroke, but poor boy is just so in love with you, he can’t believe you’re also in love with him.
sasha freaks out and begins to jitter. “what do you mean “what are we” y/n? are we not lovers? romantic lovers? very much in love? did i do something wrong? have i hurt you? what did i do?” you have to stop her rumbling by physically shutting her mouth with your hand and explain that everything’s fine between you, you simply wanted to clear any ambiguities and talk things through, but as you explained your trail of thought and why “the talk” was so important to you, you noticed sasha was spacing off, the look on her face turning more and more absent by the second. “hey, are you still here?” you’d question, but sasha’s response was “what’s an “ambiguities” baby?”
read part 2
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wh0reforcoriolanussnow · 10 months ago
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Mom, I am a rich man || Tom Blyth x gf!reader
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Summary: Fans have always speculated that Tom was dating someone until he confirmed it in an interview. After digging through Tom’s socials, fans stumble upon you, a Yale law student.
Warnings: fem!reader
Wc: 341
A/n: anyone studying law atm? 🙋‍♀️ ALSO THANK U SM FOR 6K AHHH THATS INSANE!!!
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Divider by @pommecita
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“I did it!” You slightly furrow your eyebrows at the text message your boyfriend sent you before clicking onto the link that he sent. It was a 2 minute interview that he did while at one of the premieres for his hunger games movie.
Tom looked insanely good in his tailored suit, exuding confidence as he engages with the interviewer. Cameras flashed around him, capturing the glamour of the event, and you couldn’t help but smile, feeling a sense of pride for your boyfriend.
The interviewer, a charismatic host with an air of familiarity, turns his attention to Tom, eager to delve into the behind-the-scenes of the blockbuster. “Tom, how was the filming process for ‘The Hunger Games’?” She’s asks, a glint of curiosity in her eyes.
Tom smiles, his eyes gleaming with enthusiasm. “Oh, it was fantastic. The whole cast and crew brought so much energy to the project. But what made it truly special was having my family here. They visited during filming, and even my girlfriend, who took some time off uni to be with me. I greatly appreciated that.”
Your heart swells with warmth at his words. Tom, ever the supportive partner, acknowledges your sacrifice and commitment to being by his side during this whirlwind experience.
Your 2 months in Berlin with Tom was a great opportunity to take a break from all your uni work, and of course, spend some much needed time with your boyfriend. The revelation that he has a girlfriend elicits a gasp from the woman interviewing him.
That video goes viral on the internet. With Tom’s fans searching the internet for anything that could lead them to finding out who Tom’s girlfriend is.
With hard digging, fans discover your insta page. Your posts containing photos of your life as a law student at Yale and fans were pleasantly surprised to find never seen before photos of Tom that you’ve posted.
y/n_y/l/n just posted a story!
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y/n_y/l/n
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Liked by tomblyth and 2,941 others
this months dump!
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yourfriendsusername: 😍😍
↘️ y/n_y/l/n: ily!
yourfriendsusername: uh oh, ur getting famous…. remember me pls!
↘️ y/n_y/l/n: sorry, who are you 😂
user1: omg so this is Tom’s gf? SHES GORGEOUS
user2: damn she’s hella smart huh?
↘️ user3: DUH SHES IN YALE
user4: eh, she’s mid
↘️ user5: studying at one of the ivy league’s is far from being mid lol 😭
user6: she’s been posting him for so long now, how have we only just found this out 😂
user7: so she’s pretty, she’s smart, and she’s bagged Tom Blyth? Damn girl. Teach us ur ways!
user8: THE LAST PICTURE AWEE
user9: the bouquet behind his back- the way she’s looking at him- my single heart cannot 😭✋
user10: studying in Yale is such a flex oml. And studying law too? Imagine being able to say, yeah my mom’s a lawyers. COULD NEVER BE ME. 😃
~
tomblyth
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Liked by y/n_y/l/n, rachelzegler, phoebedynevor, tomblythupdates and 8,307,163 others
yeah my girlfriend is cooler than me.
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y/n_y/l/n: Alexa, play brooklyn baby by Lana Del Rey 😁
↘️ tomblyth: volume up Alexa!
rachelzegler: y/n’s side eye 🙈
↘️ y/n_y/l/n: 👀👀
↘️ tomblyth: side eyed me the whole damn time
user1: HE FINALLY POSTED HER!
user2: can’t wait for more gf appreciation posts 😆
user3: what’s a uni student doing dating an actor like Tom Blyth?
user4: first pic. sleeping on the road tn.
↘️ y/n_y/l/n: pls don’t 🙏
↘️ user5: AHH SHE REPLIED TO YOU
↘️ user6: UR SO LUCKY TO CALL TOM UR MAN.
↘️ user7: nah, he’s actually my man.
user8: crying. screaming. throwing up.
user9: it’s happening 😭 Tom finally posting about his gf
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teojira · 6 months ago
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Really enjoyed your headcanons on Caeser and Proximus, do you mind doing the same with Noa?? 😊🙏
[Noa and day to day life with him!] [Headcanons!]
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Summary: Noa takes you back with him to his home, and the clan accepts you as one of them. Even if you're concerned otherwise.
Word count: 1k (Jesus christ)
Warnings: None that I can think of! Can be read as Platonic or Romantic! You and Noa are attached to one another. (Yes, this is me projecting.)
A/N: Noa is so near and dear to me, I literally did not mean for this to be so long, and I STILL cut myself off. This is 1k words worth of headcanons for him, and it is not enough. I'm Noa's #1 fan, I am sorry to all my friends and family who have to hear me talk about him constantly.. Ask me for Noa anything, and I will give you the world.
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Do me a favor and strap the fuck in for this it's alot.
I am so glad someone asked about Noa bc I got ALOT to say.
Noa has had it with humans, Mae put him, his clan, and countless others at risk, he should not trust humans, really he shouldn't, but he can't help it. She also betrayed you in the process, and now you're alone.
You agreed to help him and Mae against Proximus, you're the only one who actively goes up against Proximus as well.
Swinging and trying your best to try and get Proximus off of Noa, yelling and crying while the other apes just stare in fear. (Later on they apologize, but you don't hold it against them.)
It's a huge risk to invite a human with them again, but then he remembers Rakas words, Caesars words, and decides he can't told another's decisions over you.
So when he gently grabs your hand in his, looking down at you with a strained smile, blood seeping from his lips, you follow, back to his clans land.
Now on to the good stuff, it's kinda awkward finding your place among the eagle clan, the elders are gone, his father Koro is gone, there really is no guidance as to where to place you.
You drift mostly, either helping Dar or helping with the young ones, teaching them how to read and write, helping fish, farm, the basic tasks.
Dar loves you by the way, doting on you and making sure no one messes with you in a harmful way. She teaches you their customs and traditions, all the while playfully teasing you about Noa. She's a mom, she knows.
You're happy with your work, happy with your place among the clan. It's genuinely shocking how much they were willing to forgive and to not hold any grudges against humans after one ruined everything.
It helps that Noa takes accountability for you, somehow so trusting that you will not cause harm. His faith in you speaks volumes and you remind him everyday that it won't go to waste.
All he does is send you a sweet smile and ruffles your hair.
You find yourself helping Noa alot with crafting new tools and contraptions, being a second pair of eyes that can catch onto things he can't.
"Very smart." "Thank yo-" "For an Echo." and he does that stupid cute little sniff afterwards and it makes it tremendously hard to hit him.
He's such a little shit I fucking hate him.
You're his shadow when his duties permit, he's taken on a higher role of the clan, sometimes going out for days at a time but you're always at the edge of the Village waiting for his return, anxiously working your bottom lip until you see him in view.
You're both extremely attached to one another, Soona and Anaya become attached to you too, dragging you along in everyone's free time to go climbing, to eat, to hunt, just about any group outing has you as their fourth member.
Noa was worried about them accepting you, but they love you just as much as he does.
It makes his heart swell when he sees you and Soona together, giggling about something surely only you both understand while Anaya groans and complains about being left out.
It's like you've always been meant to be with them, to round out their group.
Soona and Anaya will offer to be the one to carry you this time, they do want to, genuinely, but Noa won't let them 99.9% of the time, He's used to your weight, he trusts that he can keep you safe the best. (Says the ape that literally almost died multiple times doing stupid shit)
"Noa worries too much, they will be fine." "Anaya is clumsy. Can't trust you to carry yourself, much less echo."
He tries not to carry you everywhere, but it is so much more convenient than waiting for you, so he scoops you up often enough that the stares don't bother you anymore.
Remember how in the movie, all the apes sleep together communally? Well you're at first extremely nervous about that, not wanting to ask what exactly are your accommodations because surely they don't want you there with them.
Actually, Noa does, so jot that down.
When you shyly move away, he raises his palm up at you, nodding to the space besides him.
When you don't move, he gently tugs you down, laying on his back and shutting his eyes. The clan hasn't really fully rebuilt and started to gather things needed for shawls and coverings, so it's not strange to him that you cuddle up to him to steal his warmth, peeking an eye open to see your face squished into his side, knocked out.
He wraps an arm around you, incasing you in more warmth.
This is a nightly routine until you finally take it upon yourself to throw yourself on him, he chokes out a breath as you make yourself comfortable.
Soona and Anaya usually join in, he cannot fucking breathe but he's so happy that it outweighs it.
When Mae inevitably shows back up, she sees you out in the distance, you look so genuine happy, so at peace with where you are. You even have some eagle feathers in your hair, integrated into their life that it shocks her.
It's enough to make her put the gun away, grasping at Rakas necklace like a lifeline, sucking in a deep breath to stop her from crying.
Maybe apes and humans can live at peace with one another after all. She hopes you prove her wrong.
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ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ꜰᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇᴀʀ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴏᴏɴ!
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officialspec · 8 months ago
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can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in
heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter
first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality
he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations
his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people
he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly
that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case
the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons
from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends
hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang
falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless
instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will
sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though
marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle
i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her
senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill
adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand
i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way
chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly
izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)
i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay
shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next listen listen to me i dont think he would ever actually examine this but i need u to put on ur tin foil hat with me for one second. i think estrogen could have saved her. i have more thoughts on this but im not gonna propagandise too much on this post just know that im right
kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves
(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)
i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman
i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him
namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this
and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him
THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual
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theoriginalkaminari · 5 months ago
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Attention span of a squirrel
Shoto Todoroki with an S/O who is very silly
Also seriously pls do not repost or reblog
Warnings: swearing sorta? Uh reader is GN and stuff.
Also the reason I call this 'Attention span of a squirrel' is bc squirrels have the attention span of uhhhhhh
Shoto was hanging from a rope, ankle first and upside down. The rope made him spin around the room very slowly as he felt the blood go to his head.
To make things worse, Shoto was dangling over a pit. It was foggy down there, so he wasn't able to see the bottom.
You both were chosen to go against Aizawa for this project, to see how well you did in a real villain situation.
So far?
Not so great.
Shoto was beginning to feel lightheaded, so he called out to you to try and bring your attention back to the situation.
"L/N." He calls, making you jolt out of your distracted state and back at him. "Hm?" You look up at him. "Oh yeah. Sorry, I forgot." You laugh nervously, scratching the back of your neck.
"Okay...so..." You tap your chin in thought as you stare at the rope wrapped around Shoto's ankle. "If I were me...which I am...then how would I get Shoto out of here?" You jut out your bottom lip slightly, narrowing your eyes as if it would make you think harder.
"I don't mean to rush you," Shoto begins in his usual monotone voice. "But Mr. Aizawa could be approaching." He says, spinning slowly as the rope clings to his ankle.
You don't seem to hear this, as you're staring down at the pit. "Aha! I've got the situation!" You grin confidently, stumbling slightly as you take off your right shoe. Shoto raises an eyebrow, confused to what you were doing.
Then you suddenly throw your shoe into the pit. "One..." And you begin counting. "Two...three....four.....five..." You continue. Shoto feels confused as he stares at you. What the hell were you doing?
"L/N. What are you doing?" He finally asks, eyes still trained on your every move.
After you count to ten, you beam proudly, like you made a shocking discovery. At least, you thought you did.
"Well my icy friend," You begin as you point down into the pit. "We have discovered a bottomless pi-" You were interrupted by a soft 'thud' of your shoe finally hitting the bottom of the pit.
"Oh. Nevermind. Not bottomless, just ten seconds deep."
"What does that have to do with anything?" Shoto asks, tilting his head as best he can. You just turn back and grin at him.
"Well, if I cut you down from there, at least I know how long you'll be falling for!" You beam, like you've solved all world problems.
"Okay, now hold still." You try to reach for the rope, but stumble and almost fall into the pit. "Whoa!" You yelp lightly as the dirt crumbles beneath your feet. Luckily you got out of the way in time.
"Okay! New plan." You clap your hands together. Then, to Shoto's dismay, you begin to pace around the pit. After a while, you grin. Its not an innocent grin, but a mischievous one. Almost Bakugo like.
You suddenly run backwards. Shoto sighs in disappointment, thinking you've given up on him. "How do I-" He stops himself when he looks back at you, now charging at him. "L/N! What are you-"
You grin as you jump off the ledge of the pit, jumping up to grab him. You use a pocket knife to cut the rope in the process so you both don't get stuck.
You and Shoto tumble onto the otherside, landing into a pile of eachother.
Sort of a 69 position.
Quickly, you both pull away and stand up.
Shoto feels embarrassed, looking away from you and not knowing what to say.
That is, until you clear your throat. "So...here." You hand him a small amethyst rock. Maybe you collected it a while ago, or you found it somewhere. Eitherway, you don't really remember.
Shoto tilts his head, looking at the amethyst in your palm, then back at your face. "Whats this?" He asks.
You smile softly, finding his confusion amusing. "A gift! See? Its pretty, like you." You beam. Shoto swears he sees light emitting from you as you smile at him. Shoto gives a small smile in return, and takes the amethyst. "Thank you, L/N." He says, his voice soft.
You laugh softly and place your hands on your hips. "And since I gave you a gift, we're friends now. Is that okay?" You say, even though Shoto doesn't have a choice in the matter.
Shoto puts the amethyst in his pocket. "Okay."
You grin and give him a small thumbs up. "Great! So you have to call me by my first name now, okay?"
"Okay."
"Okay what?"
"Okay, Y/N."
"Atta boy!"
Shoto smiles softly. He feels a sudden feeling in his chest, snapping him out of his thoughts. He places a hand on his chest, suddenly very confused.
Did my heart skip a beat? Do I have heart problems? Perhaps I should see Recovery Girl after this.... He thought.
Eventually, the day ended, and everyone was heading to their dorm rooms to finally get some sleep.
All except Shoto. He stayed on the green couch in the lounge, staring blankly at the wall, lost in thought.
"We're friends now, so you have to call me by my first name!" Your voice rang in his head like a lullaby.
A week passed, and you and Shoto stared hanging out more. You would say things like:
"Shoto! Do you ever thinks ants get lonely?"
"Shoto! Did you know worms have an asshole?"
"Shoto! Whats your least favorite animal?"
Things that would make him smile, or things that would make him confused. Things that would make him think, or things that would make him surprised.
Every little thing you did made him have a soft and warm feeling in his chest. Shoto, completely oblivious to these feelings, decides to confront his friend, Izuku. One night, everyone is staring to head to bed, when Shoto approaches Izuku.
"Midoriya." He says, staring the conversation. "I need your help."
Izuku tilts his head, looking up at his friend. His green eyes fill with curiosity. "What is it, Todoroki? Is everything okay?" He wonders.
"I think I have heart problems." Shoto says, in earshot for Mina and Ochako to hear.
"WHAT?!" Mina gasps, suddenly very interested to Shoto's conversation with Izuku. Mina and Ochako rush over to them, their eyes filled with concern. "Are you okay, Todoroki? Should we get you to the hospital?" Midoriya asks, standing up as his expression turns to one of concern.
Shoto thinks for a moment, before speaking again. "No. I just feel a warm feeling in my chest, and sometimes my heart skips a beat. Sometimes my face gets hot, even though I try and cool myself down with my left side."
Mina and Ochako's eyes widen. The two beam, leaning ever so closely to Shoto. "Do you feel this way around a certain someone?" Mina says, her voice giddy and excited.
Shoto nods. "Yes, it happens around L/- I mean, Y/N."
Mina and Ochako squeal, while Izuku sighs in relief, glad his friend isn't suffering from any heart failure.
"What? What is it?" Shoto looks at them all, very confused. Did he really have heart problems...?
"Its love!" Mina grabs Ochako's hands, the two of them bouncing around in circles.
"Love..?" Shoto tilts his head. "Yes, Y/N is my friend. I care for them deeply." He nods, confused to why Mina and Ochako were makeing a big deal about this fact.
"No, Todoroki!" Mina looks at him in the eyes as she stops bouncing. "Romantic love." She corrects.
Something in Shoto's brain clicks. "Oh." He says quietly, a soft dusty pink tainting his cheeks.
Shoto began to hang out with you more, staying by your side as you ramble about silly things, or smiling as you show him silly things.
Until one day, Izuku encouraged him to confess.
Shoto asked you to meet him at the courtyard after school, and you did. Shoto took a deep breath, trying to gather his nerves before he spoke to you.
"Y/N." He says softly as he looks into your eyes.
Your beautiful eyes...the ones he could get lost in for hours. The ones he loved staring into.
"I have feelings for you. Romantic ones." He finally says after a moment of silence.
You, being the person you were, holds up a hand for him to high-five. "Dude, no way, that is awesome sauce!" You say.
Shoto looks at you in confusion and disbelief. You suddenly cover your mouth in embarrassment, muttering quiet apologizes.
"Oh god, I'm really sorry, Shoto! It just popped into my head and then my mouth talked and then it all fell apart but what I ment to say was..." You take a deep breath, and look at him in the eyes.
"I love you. Like a lot." You hold out your arms as far as they could go. "If I was able to, I would stretch my arms pur way further but this is as far as they can go. But I really do love you!" You beam.
Shoto chuckles softly at your antics. He suddenly feels...complete.
You smile as well, and lower your hands. Then, you slowly extend your hand out to him to take. Shoto's eyes light up slightly. He slowly take your hand, and you intertwine your fingers with his.
"Now I get to tell people I have my own furnace AND my own cooler!" You grin brightly, making Shoto chuckle again.
He kisses your cheek gently. "Your pretty." He whispers.
And so doofus and doofus 2.0 relationship begins.
308 notes · View notes
linkspooky · 2 months ago
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SUKUNA, YOU ARE ME
Now that we're in the last few chapters of Jujutsu Kaisen it's time to do a deep dive into Yuji and Sukuna's relationship. Is what Yuji showing Sukuna here truly empathy? Does Sukuna's death and Yuji's attempt to reach out mean Sukuna was human all along? We'll discuss that, the parallels between this and Mahito, and what Sukuna's exit means for both himself and Yuji as characters underneath the cut.
I AM YOU
While this post is about the connection between Yuji and Sukuna, I'm going to say the majority of this post will be about Yuji. I stated this in a previous post, I don't believe Yuji's showing Sukuna empathy here. While his offer to let Sukuna live inside of him may be genuine, it doesn't come from a place of genuine understanding. Sukuna himself isn't written as a character to be understood or empathized with.
Look at the words Yuji said. "You are me." He's not saying he's like Sukuna, he's saying Sukuna is like him. He is projecting himself onto Sukuna. Everyone in the story does, even Kashimo and Gojo who both considers themselves the strongest of their time and who naturally should have been able to understand the isolation of being someone as incomprehensibly strong as Sukuna were just projecting their own personal experiences on them in the end.
Of course we could dig a little deeper on the topic.
How much can one person truly understand another? It doesn't have to be a curser, or a borderline incomprehensible deity like Sukuna. How much do you understand your own best friend?
Gojo mentions that he felt loved by everyone, but also that he was so beyond their understanding that they may as well have been plants in comparison to him.
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Of course, Shoko herself says that Shoko was always right there next to Gojo trying to offer him support and Gojo just chose to keep her at an arm's length. Gojo also believed that only someone as equally as powerful as him like Sukuna could understand him. Only to find that Sukuna didn't care about Gojo's feelings of isolation at all, nor was he troubled by love in the least.
Gojo makes himself out to be someone so superior to other human beings that he's beyond their comprehension, but that's Sukuna. Gojo did feel understood once, by Geto in his youth. The thing was that Gojo assumed that Geto could understand him because they were both euqal in power level. However, years after the fact when Gojo has long surpassed Geto, their friendship remains exactly the same.
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The one that Gojo pictures patting him on the back is adult Geto, not teenage Geto. The one who Gojo truly would have been satisfied by in the end was Geto, not Sukuna.
So maybe what makes Sukuna so impossible to understand by others is that same reason why Shoko can't be close to Geto. Sukuna can't be understood by others because he doesn't care to be understood by them.
Perhaps, understanding isn't the end all be all of human connection. Gojo accepted Geto, and he didn't accept Shoko. Maybe Shoko would have been able to understand Gojo if Gojo ever tried to be emotionally open with her the ever way he was with Geto then he might have felt understood.
Then there's Ryomen Sukuna who rejects love and every notion of humanity along with it.
Therefore empathy means nothing to Sukuna. Yuji's empathy in particular. No, Yuji's attempt to save Sukuna is more about himself than Sukuna. It's a reflection of a change of Yuji's state of mind that he's willing to accept living with a curse like Sukuna. That he'd even try to understand Sukuna. Curses that Yuji previously dismissed as not even being worth understanding.
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The first time Yuji said these words was when Yuji tried to make an offer to Sukuna to let him take control of his body in order to heal Junpei, in order to be laughed at by Sukuna. It was the last time Yuji ever asked anything of Sukuna.
Remember, in the very beginning of the manga Sukuna seemed like a standard inner demon character like the nine tails, or hollow ichigo. Yuji even thinks he can use Sukuna to switch out to help fight for him like against the special grade cursed spirit. However, we and the audience quickly learns that not only is Sukuna not just some evil half of Yuji, or a convenient power up, he's an actively malevolent entity with a will that will do anything to escape.
When Yuji realizes that Mahito and Sukuna are both curses, he starts to see Sukuna as an enemy trapped within him. Something he's reminded of again and again, especially after the Shibuya Massacre. From that moment Sukuna and Mahito become like villainous foils to Yuji, the dark to his light, the enemy for him to kill.
Yuji defines Mahito and Sukuna as his opposites and his enemies By killing them, he also gives himself a role. It's Sukuna and Mahito's actions in taunting is the first time Yuji uses the language "kill" when dealing with curses.
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Mahito compared himself to Yuji and by saying as a curse he mindlessly kills humans. The same way that Yuji as a sorcerer, mindlessly kills curses. They are on the opposite side of the same cycle with no end in sight.
Yuji decides to embrace this violent cycle because it at least gives him a role to play. If curses are the shadow of humanity, if they're a reflection of humanity then what exactly is you saying here?
Yuji says he is Mahito, and then immediately that he's going to kill Mahito. It's not a statement of self acceptance, or accepting your shadow, but rather a statement of self destruction. Even though Mahito is a chaotic evil curse who enjoys killing humans, Yuji's decision to throw away his humanity just for the sake of killing him isn't a healthy way.
When Mahito said "You are me" he was attempting to drag Yuji down to his level. Yuji then willfully descends to Mahito's level as long as it gives him the strength to kill Mahito. It's character regression on his part. Yuji once said he didn't want to kill because then the value of life might become vague to him.
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In a way it did, because Yuji began to devalue his own life. Yuji wasn't able to see any meaning in his life besides a "role' that someone else assigned him. Not only was he willing to throw it away at the drop of a hat, but he also didn't feel like he had permission to live.
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Unlike Yuta who actively sought affirmation from others, Yuji rejected that affirmation and tried to push everyone including people like Megumi and Choso away. They were right next to him, but Yuji became unable to accept their love and support.
Yuji is a strange paradox because he presents himself as an all-loving hero who just wants to save as many people as possible, but then you read his dialogue and he's like "I'm just a cog in the machine, I will continue to kill curses until one day I die. Then I'll just be replaced by another cog. There's no meaning at all to this sequence. Life is an endless nightmare."
I'm exaggerating, but underneath Yuji's sweet nature and goofing around, there's this very bleak attitude that his life means nothing except for the labor that he produces, and one day he'll be tossed aside and that's fine because it's what he deserves.
If Yuta seeks self-affirmation, then Yuji is seeking self-destruction. His self-loathing leads him to practically lay his head down on the chopping block and offer his neck up for execution by Higuruma's domain during the fight with Higuruma, even when Higuruma himself points out that Yuji isn't the one at fault because he wans't in control of his own body. Yuji will still take the blame, anything to punish himself further.
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So, the words Yuji uses in his triumph against Mahito also signify the destruction of his own ego. That is what Yuji does when he adapts his cog mentality, he denies his own sense of self.
What Yuji experiences is basically a prolonged ego-death.
Ego death is a "complete loss of subjective self-identity".[1] The term is used in various intertwined contexts, with related meanings. The 19th-century philosopher and psychologist William James uses the synonymous term "self-surrender" and Jungian psychology uses the synonymous term psychic death, referring to a fundamental transformation of the psyche.
I brung up Ego-Death in the Jungian context, but in Yuji's case, resigning himself to being a cog is also an act of self-surrender. Yuji basically moves away from all of his previous ideals. He only sees himself as a tool to kill curses. Saving others, or helping guide others to a natural death, those things get put on the back burner as a tool doesn't need ideals.
He's abandoned all kinds of idealism and higher reasoning. In fact that is what Mahito wanted him to do, to abandon the higher reasoning that belongs to human beings and act on instinct like a curse. Mahito successfully pushed Yuji to abandon human reason and become an unthinking cog.
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Jung defines the Ego-Death as the stripping away of everything else to revert to your natural self. According to Ventegodt and Merrick, the Jungian term "psychic death" is a synonym for "ego death":
In order to radically improve global quality of life, it seems necessary to have a fundamental transformation of the psyche. Such a shift in personality has been labeled an "ego death" in Buddhism or a psychic death by Jung, because it implies a shift back to the existential position of the natural self, i.e., living the true purpose of life. 
Megumi also experiences an ego-death over the course of the manga that mirrors Yuji's own when Sukuna takes over his body, soaks his soul to bring Megumi near evil, and then kills Tsumiki. At this point both Yuji and Megumi both lose what were their reasons for fighting. The so-called "dignity obtained by human reason" is lost. After having those reasons stripped away from them and experiencing their ego-deaths both of them surrender control. Megumi becomes helpless and stops trying to fight Sukuna. While Yuji may not seem like he's given up on anything since he keeps trucking along, he too has given up on thinking for himself. Yuji has essentially given up as much as Megumi has, there's just less plot consequences for it.
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Either way they are both brought to their lowest point by ego-death, in order to bring them to their lowest point, and make them experience a rebirth of sorts.
The persona in Jung is the face you show the outside world. it's one part of personality, with the other being the shadow. The shadow is the repressed part of peresonality. Just like curses are made up of repressed human emotions that leak out from our collective subconscious. Curses serve as the shadow of humanity collectively, especially Mahito who is made up of everything humans hate and fear about other humans. The physical embodiment of human cruelty.
However, a person can't live without their shadow. There's no such thing as a human without flaws after all, and you don't become a better person just by ignoring your own flaws. The kinds of people who are unaware of their own flaws tend to unconsciously repeat the same mistakes again and again and again.
Yuji despises curses as inhuman monsters that he can slaughter like they're enemies in a video game, but they're like... made of human vices. They are the product of humanity's emotions. Yuji's habit of only looking at the good makes him unaware of both his own shadow, his own shortcomings, and also the darker shades of grey in the world around him.
Megumi and Yuji both are characters who, need to be dragged down to the darkest point of the shadow and forced to confront their own flaws in order to learn about themselves. It's not a coincidence thaT Yuji who puts humanity on such a pedestal is a human and curse hybrid. That his older brother who's shown to be a source of overflowing unconditional love is also a human / curse hybrid, and who Yuji nearly killed because he blindly, obediently decided to kill curses. That Yuji killed two of his other curse / human hybrid brothers in spite of noticing they were different from other curses and had a family bond with each other.
It's not a coincidence that Yuji who puts humanity on such a pedestal devoured the corpses of all of his other brothers the same way that Sukuna ate his own twin in the womb to gain the power to defeat Sukuna.
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Yuiji lacks a lot of self-awareness. That's why I've always said he doesn't quite live up to the "all-loving hero" he sees himself as. Savior is just a role that Yuji has adopted in order to give himself a purpose in life, but he falls short of that. The reason that he falls short is ironically that Yuji tries so hard to be superhuman, that he can't forgive himself for having basic human flaws.
It's why "Being a child is not a sin" is such a meaningful line coming from Nanami. In Yuji's eyes being a child is a sin. He constantly blames himself for not being able to hold the weight of the world on his shoulders, for not being able to save everyone by himself even though he's only been a jujutsu sorcerer for a few months.
It's why Yuji gets excited for a moment when Kusakabe mentions that Yuji is developing very fast by sorcerer standards, because he wants to be someone monstrously talented like Higuruma or Gojo - and why he immediately looks so disappointed when Kusakabe says it's not because Yuji is talented it's just because of Sukuna.
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Yuji feels an overwhelming amount of responsibility and wants to be a special person who is strong enough to actually carry all that responsibility on his shoulders. That's why I say Yuji isn't a true all-loving hero, because it's more about Yuji's own feelings than the act of saving others. His guilt complex over Sukuna.
His desires to be someone special and meaningful. Yuji wants to be a good person who saves others because it gives YUJI and purpose and it gives YUJI a sense of fulfillment. If you've read Tokyo Ghoul it's like Kaneki's reason for participating in the Anteiku Raid. Not because he genuinely wanted to save others, but because he "was tired of not being able to do a thing."
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(I'm keeping the meme panel because it's funny)-
Yuji wants to be strong and wants to be a savior because Yuji feels insecure in himself and loathes himself for his own weakness. However, this pushes Yuji farther away from his goal of saving others and making connections with other people so he can die surrounded by people BECAUSE people empathize with each other over their weaknesses.
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Yuji wants to become someone strong and unbreakable who will never falter, never feel pain, and most of all never lose. He basically wants to become Satoru Gojo, but if Yuji were to ever rise to Gojo's level like that just by getting rid of all of his weaknesses he'd fundamentally lose his ability to connect with people the way Gojo and Sukuna have.
Yuji defines himself in strength, and suffering, and always overcoming, but then what is his heart for? He strives to become someone stronger than Gojo or Sukuna to protect his friends, but if he loses his heart that loves and cherishes those friends in the process then what even is the point?
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Yuji walks a dangerous road from the culling games up until the Shinjuku incident, into nearly becoming like Mahito or Sukuna in his attempts to be stronger than them. I don't think he was ever in danger of going on a murder spree, but I do think he was risking becoming someone like Gojo.
Gojo made himself a tool for Jujutsu Society for the greater good and look what happened to him in the end. Not only did he die in the line of duty, his corpse was turned into a puppet to use as a weapon against the enemy. He made himself into a monster even when people like Yuta were begging Gojo not to. Yuji was on a similiar path of cutting off all the people who loved him and just becoming a person exploited in both life and death for the greater good.
So what stopped him?
Megumi.
YOU ARE ME.
A few people said that Yuji's abandoning the cog mentality suddenly happened too fast, or felt unearned but I think if you look at the culling games arc from higiruma's fight onwards as a whole it's actually a natural progression.
It all starts with Higuruma and Yuji's conversation:
Higuruma: "You're innocent. You didn't commit that crime." Yuji: "Even so, it's my fault." Higuruma: "Why?" Yuji: "...I see. Itaodri, there still may be a lot of people who are weak like you."
Yuji is someone who loevs humans, but puts humanity as a whole on a pedestal. He loves humanity but hates human weakness, especially his own weakness. Ironic because Higuruma is also someone who became jaded by having to work in the corrupt justice system and was forced to look at human ugliness day after day after day even though he wanted to be someone who valued people for their weaknesses.
Yuji doesn't learn to empathize with human weakness until Megumi's weaknesses are the one he's forced to confront. He doesn't abandon his notion of roles until he's robbed of his roles by Sukuna when Megumi becomes the possessed one instead of him.
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Yuji is fine with being a sacrifice for the greater good, but he is not fine with sacrificing Megumi. By knowing exactly what Megumi is going through and wanting to save Megumi from Sukuna's possession, Yuji is in an odd way forced to empathize with himself. Like, it's a double standard on his part that's being challenged. Yuji blames himself for all the people he hurt as Sukuna, but he'd never blame Megumi for letting Sukuna kill tsumuki while possessing his body.
In his refusal to sacrifice Megumi for the greater good, even when Megumi is begging him to do so he rejects the common Ethos that sorcerer's are expendable cogs who are expected to sacrifice themselves and their comrades in the eternal fight against curses for the sake of public safety.
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Yuji carries with him this grandiose notion of saving as many people as possible. However, when the option comes to make a sacrifice that would save hundreds of thousands of people from the merger by fighting to kill Megumi instead of save him from Sukuna's clutches Yuji can't do it. Even though Megumi at that point would be a completely willing sacrifice.
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Yuji has to abandon his cog mentality to save Megumi, because an unthinking cog wouldn't put Megumi's life over the lives of everyone in Shibuya. A cog, especially a sorcerer would kill that one kid in order to save thousands of lives. Heck, Kusakabe more conservative sorcerer even brings up that argument that everything would have been avoided if Yuji was executed to begin with.
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In order to save Megumi, Yuji must also reclaim his own humanity. There's a reason that Nanami, and Nobara, die right before Yuji adopts his cog mentality. Nanami, the most ethical of the first grade sorcerers who tried to teach Yuji to value his own life because he was a child, and Nobara the only kid in the main trio who was a normal person are both representatives of Yuji's humanity.
After losing both Yuji becomes reckless, he stops valuing his own life. As I said far, far bove, Yuji never listened to the advice Nanami gave him that it wasn't a sin to be a child. Yuji has this entire time thought it was a sin just to be weak, just to need the help of other people, just to not be able to accomplish everything on his own.
After Yuji starts reconciling with his own humanity though, he regains his connections to both Nanami and Nobara. Nanami comes back symbolically in the form of Higuruma, someone Yuji tries to encourage to live instead of taking the same suicidal path that Yuji was bent on. Whereas, Nobara herself actually comes back from the dead in time to land the final blow, the same way she reminded Yuji of her presence and that she wasn't alone in the Mahito fight.
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Yuji also regains these connections when he's processed the grief for both people. He remembers Nanami and what Nanami left him in a more positive light. In my interpretation the line "I am a sorcerer" refers to Yuji developing a more healthy version of being a sorcerer. That instead of Yuji seeing sorcerers as slaves who have to sacrifice themselves for the greater good like Geto did, Yuji can see the camraderie between sorcerers who fight and put their lives on the line together.
Either way, I think the moment Yuji truly reconciled with the grief of death is sadly enough with Choso's death. If you want proof that Yuji's revelation wasn't rushed, that he didn't skip from point a to point b, then it's right here.
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Choso apologizes to Yuji for leaving him ahead of time, and Yuji tells him not to, because Choso was always by his side when he was at his lowest point and that brief time they had together was enough for him.
Yuji's relationships so far have been defined by his fear of losing people. He wants to have a natural death, he wants the other people around him to have good deaths, he doesn't want people to die too early. By focusing on the fear of losing people, he hasn't yet been able to enjoy the time that they were around. However, in this moment he realizes how much Choso meant to him, even if their relationship was brief, and even if it came to an end. Yuji learned you can still love someone even if you inevitably lose them.
This is when Yuji finally accepts mortality and fragility as a part of life.
This is also what Sukuna can't accept. That life is fragile. That life is weak. That life comes to an end. Sukuna's entire goal is to maximize pleasure and live as long as possible, and therefore he's rejected all of the unpleasant parts of reality. Sukuna doesn't want to live in the real world like a human being, he wants to exist only in the world of Jujutsu where he's a god.
This is what Yuji represents to Sukuna, The human vulnerability, and mundanity that he threw away, by literally cannabilizing his own twin and throwing away part of his soul. The part of his soul that Sukuna threw away was taken by Kenjaku, and used as a science experiment to create Yuji. Technically, Sukuna is Yuji's uncle but symbolically Yuji is the twin that Sukuna cast aside. Especially since in this world cursed energy treats identical twins like they are the same person.
Yuji for the longest time tried to do what Sukuna did. Tried to throw his own humanity away so he could be as strong as Sukuna. He literally even ate the corpses of his own brothers.
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Yuji and Sukuna are symbolically twins, but Yuji learns to embrace the things that Sukuna threw away. Sukuna threw away his own soul's twin in order to grow strong. He became all powerful in the jujutsu world because he ate his twin and gained an extra pair of arms and a mouth. He's like if Maki chose to kill Mai instead of Mai sacrificing herself for Maki's sake.
Yuji chose companionship with others over power. Sukuna doesn't need others people to satisfy him, and Yuji begs Megumi to come back from the dead because his life would be lonely without him. Yuji doesn't have some noble reason for going this far for Megumi's sake. He's not saving Megumi for the greater good, but because his connection to Megumi is important to him. Because he doesn't want to go through life without Megumi.
Yuji loathes weakness like Sukuna. Yuji desires to be someone special like Sukuna. Yuji has a grandiose sense of self importance like Sukuna. Yuji desires power like Sukuna. Yuji looks down on weak people like Sukuna does, he just condescendingly wants to save them instead of Sukuna who just wants to stomp on them like ants.
Yuji is also literally Sukuna. He was created by an offshoot of his soul. The same way that Sukuna was born with a body perfect for Jujutsu, Yuji was born stronger than anyone his age, and develops at an extreme rate as a sorcerer BECAUSE he was Kenjaku's science project to make the perfect vessel for Sukuna.
They are totally twinsies in so many ways, the only difference in the end is that Yuji learns to value human connection. In Sukuna's book there is no meaning to life, except for the pleasures he pursues as an individual. Therefore Sukuna is the only real person that matters or even exists. The narrator says as much he alone is the honored one, all that exists is his pleasures and displeasures.
In Buberian terms Sukuna only experiences existence and I and It relationships.
Buber's main proposition is that we may address existence in two ways:
The attitude of the "I" towards an "It", towards an object that is separate in itself, which we either use or experience.
The attitude of the "I" towards "Thou", in a relationship in which the other is not separated by discrete bounds.
Sukuna is the "i" and everyone else is an "it." Sukuna is the only real person who exists, and everyone else is just an object for their amusement.
Whereas, Yuji experiences "I" and "Thou" relationships. Yuji learns to see other people as different from himself. Yuji appreciates people as separate entities. While Sukuna gets amusement from his life by treating other people like toys, for Yuji the value in his life comes from the people who have entered into his life in some form. He appreciates the relationships he's formed with people and the memories they've left behind, no matter how brief the time they spent together was.
This is why Yuji's words reach Megumi, because he respects that Megumi feels differently than he does. He doesn't tell Megumi to just suck it up and keep fighting because that's what Yuji would do. He understands that he's a different person than Megumi, and he can't say he understands the grief and pain Megumi is going through right now.
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That's Yuji's big revelation, in just a few short months as a sorcerer he's met so many people who left an impact on him. Some of those relationships came to an end early, but that painful ending doesn't negate what they meant to him.
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The few months he spent with Choso have value even if it's not the same as the one hudnred and fifty years Choso spent with the rest of his brothers, because Choso supported Yuji when he was at his lowest point. Yuji finally sees that what gave his life meaning was the memories he made with other people while they were alive together. Not the way that they died.
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So Yuji is finally willing to let himself exist outside of a role.
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That's what he's offering to Sukuna as well. Maybe not empathy or understanding, because if Yuji had truly learned empathy maybe Sukuna might have accepted his offer. No, Yuji is simply willing to offer Sukuna the chance to live alongside him.
Sukuna rejects bonds of all kinds and Yuji is now embracing them. Yuji no longer seeks to annihilate curses because they're a fundamental part of life. Yuji wants to live on with his curses and burdens. He's also willing to give Sukuna a chance to keep living too.
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Even Yuji points out that both of them are totally twinsies. Sukuna was born as a curse because he devoured his twin brother in the womb. Yuji was born as a curse because he was created to be Sukuna's vessel. The only way that Yuji is the way that he is is because he was raised as a normal child by his grandfather. If Yuji hadn't then he would have turned out entirely different. It's the same way that Choso became human because of his love for his brothers, even though he was born as a curse human hybrid and tossed aside by Kenjaku as a failed experience.
Yuji acknowledges both his capacity to have turned out like Sukuna if not for his grandfather's sake. This time when he says You are me, he's not saying it to threaten and destroy the person he sees as his shadow. This time Yuji is trying to reconcile with his shadow. He's looking at the person who represents the absolute worst of humanity, and the things he hates about himself and is still willing to give them the chance to keep on living together with him.
When Yuji says "I am you, so I'll kill you" to Mahito, that signals his first step on the road to self destruction.
When Yuji says, "I am you, so I'll save you" to Sukuna, that signals his first step on the road to self-acceptance.
It's Yuji allowing himself for the first time to just exist as a normal person not as the hero of some epic story. He even gave Sukuna that chance too, to just continue living alongisde him, but sukuna rejected it to keep on living as a curse until the end.
So, while Yuji saying "You are me" to Sukuna isn't true empathy, it is Yuji learning to accept himself and his flaws. . Because if Yuji is willing to forgive someone like Sukuna, then perhaps he might just learn to forgive himself.
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sagesolsticewrites · 10 months ago
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religion's in your lips, the altar is my hips
in which Steve takes care of you after a bad day
- including but not limited to: praise kink, hair pulling, oral (f receiving), Steve lowkey being a service dom 👀
(this is. very self-indulgent. very veryyyyyy self-indulgent. you have been warned <3)
a/n: huuuge shoutout to @upsidedownwithsteve's (aka Emmy, Queen of Smutty Sunday <3) most recent smutty Sunday event for giving me inspiration to write my very first smutty fic! Obligatory disclaimer that yes, this is my very first smut fic ever, I am an ✨asexual virgin✨ please manage expectations accordingly, yada yada yada. Also so many hugs to my bestie Kenz @fangirl-imagines for looking this over before I posted it ☺️ Kenzie has some incredible fics, go support her y'all!
Word count: 2870
Warnings: THIS IS SMUT. MINORS BEGONE. 🔞
Please like/rb if you enjoyed! 🤍
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You let yourself into your apartment with a sigh, shoulders relaxing the tiniest bit as you step over the threshold into your home and finally toe off your heels.
Bypassing the darkened kitchen and empty living room, you open the door to your bedroom, where you knew you’d find a shirtless Steve in the middle of his post-work ritual of playing some game on his computer.
He looks up as you enter, face brightening with a smile as he greets you.
“Hey baby, how was—”
In lieu of an answer, you flop face first onto the bed with a groan.
You can hear the smile fade from his voice as he hisses sympathetically, “That bad, huh?”
You lift your chin so it’s propped up on the pillow as you explain your terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day.
“You know that project that Marie was working on? She asked me for help on it, and I gave her some pointers, but she said she still wasn’t really understanding it so I ended up having to do all of it for her. And she’ll probably take all the credit for it, too.” You grumble, rolling your eyes, “And we had that meeting with our new clients, and my boss basically volun-told me to take notes for it, even though that’s really the liason’s job, and then she criticized me for not taking as detailed notes as Lauren even though that’s literally Lauren’s job! And she was there, she could’ve taken the notes, I don’t even—”
You shake your head in exasperation, shifting topics, “And then I didn’t even have time for lunch because Sara wanted me to help train the interns, and…” You end your rant with a groan, letting your face drop back into the pillow. “‘M just. So tired.”
“Sweetheart…” Steve’s voice turns soft as the pillow underneath your head, and he gets up from his spot at the desk to climb onto the bed, pulling you into his arms.
You curl into him instinctively, your head finding that space in the crook of his neck that feels like it was made for you personally, one hand coming up to toy with the curls at the nape of his neck, tracing patterns along the freckles and moles dotted along his skin.
“What can I do to help, honey?” Your boyfriend asks, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.
“Jus’ wanna… I dunno, just. Stop.” You mumble against his shoulder, shrugging and curling further into him.
He hums in understanding, grabbing the hand that’s currently drawing invisible hearts around the moles near his collarbone and pressing a kiss to the back of it.
“You’ve been doing so much for everyone today,” he murmurs, voice layered with understanding and adoration as he leans in and peppers tiny kisses over your forehead, your nose, your eyelids, and you relax even more as his voice washes over you, “Worked so hard.”
He pulls you closer, scattering kisses all over as you finally release all the tension you’ve been holding, letting out a sigh and shifting in his arms to face him. You don’t realize you’re straddling him until you’re pressed nearly flush against him, his arms wrapped securely around your waist.
His lips brush over every part of your face, down to your neck and then back up as you become putty in his hands, murmuring soft words of praise to you the whole time.
“You just need to stop working now, huh? Need to stop thinking,” His lips draw a path to your ear, where he whispers, “need to let someone else do all the work, huh, baby?”
A shiver runs down your spine, constantly in awe of the power just his voice has over you. His hand settles on your hip, a comforting, grounding weight while his other hand brushes a strand of hair back from your forehead. His lips work their way back down over your cheek, stopping to hover just over yours, mouths brushing together as he murmurs in a voice like silk, “Is that what you want, honey? Want me to take care of you?”
Warm chocolate eyes meet yours, soft, caring, always ensuring he has your consent before he does anything.
At your near-imperceptible nod, he drags his hand up to cup your chin, thumb dragging along your bottom lip.
“Need your words, pretty girl.”
“Yes,” you breathe, and that’s all the confirmation he needs to surge up and capture your lips with his.
As you brace yourself on his shoulders, his hands move to the thin strip of exposed skin where your shirt has ridden up. Your kisses become hungrier, ignoring your need for oxygen in favor of Steve’s plush, kiss-swollen lips, and he slowly drags up the hem of your shirt, breaking the kiss briefly to get your permission.
At your eager nod, your shirt is off and tossed to some corner of the room, his mouth eagerly on yours once more.
You can feel exactly how much he’s enjoying this through his sweats, and you instinctively begin to rock in his lap, dragging your increasingly damp core over his.
His hands grip your hips, the familiar feeling sending a thrill through you… but rather than guiding your movements like he normally would, he holds them still.
You pull away, brow furrowed, but before you can voice your confusion, he flips you onto your back, moving to hover over you in one smooth movement.
“I told you,” he murmurs against your lips in a tone that sends a pulse of scorching heat to your core, “I’m doing all the work, sweetheart.”
The whimper you let out is muffled by his lips on yours once more, his wandering hands and hungry kisses making short work of turning you into a moaning, gasping mess.
“Steve,” you whine out his name as his lips travel down to your neck, and you can feel his smile against the hollow of your throat before he returns to licking and sucking dark patches into your skin, the occasional use of his teeth making delicious shivers shoot up your spine.
“What is it, sweetheart?” He mumbles against your skin, trailing his lips along your collarbone. His eyes meet yours, a mischievous twinkle mixed with the searing heat in them turning you molten as he asks, “What do you need?”
Unable to find the words, your hand finds his hair instead — God, that hair — and begins pushing him down towards where you really want him.
“‘M gettin’ there, honey, I promise,” he grins, pausing your efforts to press a kiss to the valley between your breasts, “Lemme take my time and I promise it’ll be worth it, ok?”
He reaches up to toy with the strap of your bra— a simple nude thing you could get away with wearing under a white shirt at work— a questioning look in his eyes answered by a furious nod from you.
He makes short work of the clasp, and that really should not be as hot as it is, but— oh who are you kidding, even his breathing is insanely hot right now.
You throw your head back as he presses kisses all over your chest, mumbling against your skin the whole time about how pretty you are, just gorgeous sweetheart, God, I can’t believe I get to do this for you…
Your head goes deliciously fuzzy with the praise, and you can’t quite form words so all you can do when he takes your nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it for good measure, is let out a keening “Ohhh” and instinctively tighten your grip on his hair.
“Fuck, sweetheart,” Steve groans, the noise sending heat racing through your body, and you grin knowing you were the one to elicit it, “You sound fucking incredible.” He murmurs more praise as he turns his attention to your other nipple, giving it just as much attention and eliciting more gasps and moans and whines from you before he continues his journey south.
You lift your head and watch as Steve Harrington fucking beams when he reaches your stomach, your pouch poking out slightly more than you’d like over the waistband of your jeans.
He meets your eyes, his own swimming with sincerity as he begins to scatter kisses over your midsection.
“You”
Kiss
“Are”
Kiss
“Fucking”
Kiss
“Stunning”
Kiss
When it seems like he’s covered every single inch of your exposed skin in kisses, remaining stubbornly focused on your torso when what you really want is for him to be significantly lower, he meets your eyes as he plays with the waistband of your jeans, once again wordlessly asking your permission.
And once again, your furious nodding is all the consent he needs to peel your jeans off and toss them away.
“Sweetheart.” He breathes, wide eyes on where your jeans once were, “Honey. Baby. Are you trying to kill me?” He says in a strangled voice at the sight of your simple lacy panties in a deep, wine-purple color— a color Steve once drunkenly confessed was his favorite, though he told anyone who asked he preferred red.
You bite your lip in an attempt to contain your grin, “I thought you might like those.”
“Like them?” He murmurs, leaning down to press a kiss to your inner thigh, looking up through lidded eyes to meet your gaze as his own darkens, “I never wanna see you in anything else again.”
Your toes curl, and your breaths become shallow in anticipation as he scatters slow kisses all along your inner thighs, carefully spreading them apart, stopping when he gets to the edge of the purple lace.
He holds your gaze, gauging your reaction as instead of pulling them down over your hips to toss to yet another corner of the room, he simply…
Pulls.
The lace.
To the side.
You barely have time to let out a quiet, shaky, “Oh my God,” at the ravenous look on Steve’s face before his mouth is on you and you forget how to think, you forget how to breathe, you forget everything except Steve.
Let it be known: Steve Harrington knew how to eat a girl out.
He licks a thick, fat stripe up your center, gathering the moisture collected there before darting up to flick at your clit, an action that has you gripping the sheets like a lifeline, a stuttering moan that sounds vaguely like your boyfriend’s name escaping from your lips. His arms hook around your thighs, pulling you close in an attempt to keep your hips grounded, and he continues a few more passes of the same lick, flick pattern until you’re a writhing mess underneath him, his current strategy both too much and not enough.
He pauses just long enough to meet your eyes, pressing a single kiss to your clit that sends a jolt of pleasure up your spine, before diving in.
His tongue finds your entrance with ease, the way his nose pushes through the thatch of wiry hair to nudge at your clit providing extra stimulation as he makes short work of making you fall apart. His tongue swirls through your folds as he lets out a languid moan at your taste.
“So fuckin’ good for me, sweetheart.” He mumbles against your core, “So perfect, lettin’ me take care of you. This is all you needed, huh?” His eyes flick up to meet yours as you shudder and moan underneath him, struggling to keep your eyes on him.
He licks another languid path through your folds, savoring your taste, before continuing, his voice muffled as he licks and sucks at your entrance “Jus’ needed me to give you a break, needed me to tell you it’s okay to turn off your brain and jus’—” Steve punctuates his last words by wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking gently “—be a good girl for me.”
The combination of stimulation to your clit and Steve’s words has your hips arching off the bed, despite your boyfriend’s best efforts to keep you still. You can feel him grin against you and let out a dark chuckle at the moan you let out at his last words in particular, the way your hand tightens and pulls at his hair all the evidence he needs.
Still, he asks you, though he doesn’t quite expect a coherent response.
“Aw, sweetheart. You like it when I call you a good girl? You like bein’ a good girl for me?” He purrs in a voice like syrup, lips still brushing your folds.
“Fuck, I— yes, Stevie,” you whine brokenly, gently gripping his hair in an attempt to bring him closer to where you want him, whimpering softly, “Stevie please.”
“I know, baby, I know,” he murmurs, scattering kisses frustratingly just outside your core, “Jus’ trust me, I gotcha.”
You resist the urge to move, to just grab him and put him where you want him, even as you let out a frustrated whine.
Just as your patience is about to run out, you feel him smirk against you before diving back in, holding your legs apart as he sloppily licks and sucks at your entrance, his tongue diving deep inside you.
You let out a gasping moan as he attacks your core, practically clawing at his hair in an attempt to pull him impossibly closer, your brain going fuzzy and then melting entirely when you hear the endless praise falling from his lips as he eats you out.
“So good for me sweetheart, just perfect— shit, do you have any idea how good you taste?” He groans against you, his thumb coming up to gently circle your clit as his other hand moves to splay flat over your hips, holding you as still as he can, “Could do this all fuckin’ day, god you’re amazing sweetheart—”
Then he clamps his lips around your clit and moans, and you’re fairly certain you’re going to die of pleasure, both your hands flying to grip his hair and yank as your back arches off the bed, your head falling back against the pillows, mouth open to let out a high, keening moan.
When you come back to your body, Steve is back to gently licking through your folds, and your hands claw at him, needing him to be closer.
“Steve,” you whine, “Stevie please, ‘m so close, I jus’— I need— please, baby.”
As your words turn into incoherent moans and pleas, Steve is quick to assure you, thumb returning to playing with your clit as he mumbles against you, “I know, honey, I know what you need and ‘m gonna give it to you, I promise. Been so good for me today, taken such good care of everyone, now it’s your turn, ‘m gonna make you feel so, so fuckin’ good, baby—”
He dives into you once more, thumb rhythmically circling your clit as his tongue hits every spot inside you in a pattern that has you turning to liquid underneath him, your legs hooking together behind his back to keep him right there, and your vision goes white as Steve brings you towards your release.
You let out a cry as you hit your climax, and Steve dutifully guides you through your orgasm, murmuring soft praises the whole time.
“Such a good girl for me,” he murmurs as he pulls away, mouth glistening and pupils dilated wide. Your hand cards through his soft brown waves, chest heaving as you catch your breath. Steve brushes gentle kisses to your inner thigh, your hipbone, your stomach, following a path up to capture your lips with his own, swallowing the contented sigh you let out.
He pulls away, meeting your gaze with a smile as he pecks your nose.
“Feelin’ better?”
You hum contentedly, “Much.” Your thumb comes up to stroke his cheek as you pointedly glance down, “What about you?”
Steve lets out a mock-annoyed groan, forehead coming down to rest on your shoulder.
“Baby, we just went over the whole thing about you not needing to take care of everyone.”
He lifts his head, meeting your gaze, “Seriously, though,” he presses a kiss to your cheek, rolling to lay next to you and pulling you into his chest, “I’m fine. This was about you, and I’m so glad I could help take care of you for once.”
You cup his cheek, turning his face to yours. You hope he can see every sincere, tender thought in your expression as you simply say, “Thank you.”
“Anything for you, sweetheart. You know that.” He murmurs in response, lips quirking up into a small smile as he turns to press a quick kiss to your palm.
“So,” he says, fingers stroking through your hair, nudging your eyes closed, “nap time and then appetizer dinner? We’ve got mozzarella sticks and some chicken tenders I can throw in the oven.”
You grin, despite already being half-asleep, “That sounds perfect.”
You can feel his smile as he presses a kiss to your forehead.
“I love you.”
“I love you more.”
“I love you most.”
“I love you infinity.”
“I love you infinity plus one”
“I love you—”
“Alright, let’s call it a tie, babe.”
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Tagging a couple friends! Hi besties @austin-butlers-gf @sassy-ahsoka-tano @dontbesussis
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shiplessoceans · 1 year ago
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I am seeing some garbage takes out there so quick reminder:
Izzy himself doesn't hold a grudge for what happened to his leg because he fuelled the fire that took it.
Izzy knows he suffered the consequences of feeding the darkness and doubt and misery he saw in Ed.
If Stede's leaving led Ed to a cliff, Izzy was the friend who should have helped him and instead he shoved him over the edge and broke him. The man Ed has known longer than anyone in his life, his 'only family', severed the last hope Ed had that he was worth anything without 'Blackbeard'.
Izzy trained a shark to viciously kill... Blackbeard says you taught him everything he knows... tormented him in his weakest moment...This is Blackbeard, Not some namby pamby in a silk gown pining for his boyfriend...and then dangled his legs in the water. Naturally, the shark took his leg.
As Izzy says: 'Served me right, too'.
Which is why people being so furious on his behalf and acting like Ed is an abusive monster is to invalidate Izzy having any agency at all.
Do you also blame Ed for the murder of his father and think he's a bloodthirsty monster?
Or can you recognise that the cycle of abuse and violence corrupted and traumatized him and that his father shares a portion of the blame for his own death?
Perhaps it's more cut and dried in that scenario because people haven't imprinted on Ed's father?
Izzy is not blameless in the loss of his leg and he would be the first to tell you that. He is a complex human who has made mistakes and his whole arc this season was about him reconciling, owning his mistakes and being his true authentic self anyway. And he did it. Fuck yeah.
"BUT ED NEVER APOLOGISED".
Izzy wouldn't have accepted it if he had.
Ed said 'Sorry about your leg', knowing Izzy wouldn't accept a larger apology. His response was to 'fuck off' as it is. Izzy Hands will never accept a full apology or genuine word of kindness and he shut down Ed's attempts because he didn't want or need it.
Izzy's last act on the planet was to let Ed know he's sorry for breaking him. For feeding him to the darkness so he could have 'Blackbeard' to give him his purpose in life when really, Ed had needed a friend. He apologized to remind Ed that he is loveable just as he is. He wants to undo the damage he did.
To love a character is to respect his right to be a fuck-up and own his mistakes. And to let him learn to accept himself despite those mistakes.
This season made me love Izzy. And I am sad he's dead. And I love that he got to redeem himself, find family and a sense of belonging and help Ed heal when he couldn't always help himself to.
You can feel how you want to feel about the ending.
But to sit back and blast creatives for 'Doing it wrong' because you can't process your emotions without projecting it onto others?
Izzy would be disappointed in you, the same way he was disappointed in Stede for picking a fight with Zheng instead of handling his emotions about losing Ed.
"Oh Bonnet, no..."
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