#i am now calm. namaste

[s0urs0rr0w-moved]

Poney :)

[love-and-greta]

Namaste

I’m not completely sold on this one shot, but hopefully you all enjoy it! Also, can I just say I am so freaking excited for this new album era?? It’s giving me inspiration to write some new stuff!

Summary: y/n and Josh desperately want some much needed alone time

Warnings: none, just fluff (per usual)

Much love!

____________________________________________

It wasn’t often lately that you got a full day together with Josh. The band was right in the middle of recording their fourth album, and between studio time, song writing, and creating album concepts, you and Josh barely had any one on one time.

However, today was a different story. Josh somehow landed an entire day off and the two of you were ecstatic. Knowing Josh was exhausted from working so hard and so often, you planned on spending the day at home watching movies or relaxing outside in the garden and ending the day with a date night out at your favorite restaurant. For all you cared, you two could just stay in bed all day and you would be happy. Just to be in his company was more than enough for you. But Josh had made it very clear that he wanted to treat you to a nice evening out, especially since date nights were a rarity these days.

“Birdie, you’ve been so patient and supportive of me this past month and I don’t know what I would do without you. Let me take you out and show you how much I appreciate you baby,” Josh had pleaded. You could never resist him and had quickly agreed.

You decided to start the day off early, getting your morning mediation and yoga done with while letting Josh sleep in. The quiet and stillness of the early morning was extremely cathartic for you and you didn’t want to miss out on today’s sunrise. Mediation and yoga had been your saving grace this past month while missing Josh. It helped to calm your mind and keep your soul at peace.

As the sun began its ascent into the sky, its rays warming your skin through your living room window, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath in. During your exhale, there was a shift on your yoga mat from behind and you felt two arms slowly snaking their way around your waist. You smiled to yourself knowing Josh had decided to join you. He straddled his legs around you and began kissing up your neck to your jawline.

“Good morning to you too J,” you giggled softly, leaning into him.

“Mmm, morning babe,” he murmured against your cheek. “I woke up and you weren’t in bed so I had to come see what you were doing.”

“Oh you know, I’m just getting my zen on,” you joked, making Josh chuckle into your neck.

Just then, Josh’s phone began to ring from the bedroom.

“Who’s calling you this early?“ you asked.

“The only person who would call at this time is Jake, or management. Lemme go check, and you can finish getting your zen on,” Josh replied with a smirk and a quick peck to your lips.

Definitely not in the zone anymore now that your mind was on Josh, you decided to step outside into the backyard and fill your lungs with the crisp morning air. The birds had begun chirping and you could see the bees and butterflies starting to flutter around your garden beds. This truly was your favorite time of day. The start of a new day, a new beginning. Josh was a night owl, but he always made sure to wake up early with you on occasion to share moments like these with you, knowing how much you loved them.

The sliding glass door slowly sliding open pulled you out of your revelry and you turned to see a grief stricken Josh.

“Is everything okay, J?” You asked hesitantly.

“Apparently management decided to schedule a meeting today with that artist I was telling you about for the album cover…I’m so sorry Birdie,” Josh spoke quietly, his eyes becoming glassy.

“Oh…”, was all you could manage to say back.

“And dumbass Jake decided he wanted to continue recording since we would all be at the studio anyways,” Josh huffed, steadily growing angrier. “All I wanted was to spend time with you, uninterrupted, and they can’t fucking even give me that.” He aggressively wiped at his eyes knowing tears were threatening to fall.

Seeing Josh in distress quickly brought tears to your own eyes and you hurried over to him, wrapping him in a tight embrace. Your disappointment in the situation left you speechless and Josh kept repeating how sorry he was that this had happened. You both knew it would be a while before you had the chance to have a full day together again. The two of you clung on to each other, patiently awaiting for each other to steady your breathing and dry your tears.

Eventually you pulled back to look into Josh’s eyes. “This fucking sucks, but I’m going to be the bigger person and say that I understand and that it’s going to be okay,” you finally announced. Staring back at you, Josh held up one finger to signal you to give him a second. He pulled out his phone, rapidly bringing it to his ear.

“I’m not coming in until 10 this morning. I have a prior engagement that I’m not willing to miss,” Josh quickly spoke and hung up the phone. “Alright Birdie, we have two and a half hours and I’m not breaking my promise to take you out on a proper date. Only this time it will be for breakfast.”

Josh flashed you a wide grin and hastily pulled you in for a deep kiss. You smiled into his lips and thanked the universe for this quick turn of events. Josh began pulling you in closer, one hand around your waist and the other tangling itself into your hair. Knowing things usually progressed quickly from this point, you pulled away slightly and asked, “Are you taking me to bed, or out to breakfast?”

“How about both?” Josh grinned, beginning to walk you backwards into the house.

“I think we could manage that,” you quipped, in between kisses.

“God I fucking love you,” Josh sighed, finally reaching the bedroom.

Oh it was going to be a good morning indeed.

[isay]

Brain dump

So yesterday Kim headed off to the airport for her trip back to see the kids and grandkids in H town, leaving me with the hounds to fend for myself for the next three weeks. While I have immensely enjoyed being able to successfully cook a chicken, asparagus and mushroom pie, listen to the BBC (and currently the Avalanches last album) and just chill with the dogs, the house just kind of feels empty. I am literally missing her already.

I'm hoping though that I can take this period as a chance to reset, do some work on myself and formulate more of a view about what I want out of life moving forward over this next year. Over the last couple of months I've been kind of panicked by not working, but I'm hopeful that situation will change soon. As it is Australia kind of shuts down pretty much from mid-December through to the end of January as people take leave for Christmas and then turn that into the summer break, so while the job hunt is still on, it's with a slight sense of reduced urgency.

I tried catching up on Gen V on Amazon last night and found it really hard to concentrate but maybe part of that was my mind being preoccupied with the prospect of an interview this morning. I'm trying not to get too ahead of myself with it, but the organisation I interviewed with seems like somewhere I would really like to work. They're hoping to make a decision before Christmas so that things can be lined up for the new year, which would suit me to a tee, but I'm trying to keep my hopes in check.

So far I've interviewed well for three positions but have been runner up for all three. I'm trying to be philosophical about it and choosing to try and believe that it's because the right thing hasn't yet arisen. There is something about living in this leafier suburb and being able to hear the sounds of the trees swaying in the backyard that is making it a little easier to try and be more accepting of things as they are. I think being closer to nature, albeit in a suburban setting is having a calming effect on me.

One of the other things I'd like to get back to is writing a bit, I'm not sure what it is but something that used to come easily to me is now something that I find hard to do. My level of concentration is also something that I've really struggled with since the whole 'rona thing happened, but hopefully the next three weeks are an opportunity for me to get some of that back.

Oh and something I found out about our new locale recently is that there is a Buddhist temple literally down the road, so I'm hoping to check that out over the coming days. In fact after I've sent a thank you email to my interview panel I'm going to take the dogs out for a second walk to see if we can find it.

Namaste.

[garebearandnan]

S2 Unseen Bits Week 1: YOGA

I really enjoyed the S4 game yoga scene and a few seasons UK/AU TV show have done a yoga class.

Narrator Iain Stirling (Voice Over): It's a very stressful life being an Islander... sunbathing all day and partying all night. So what better way to relieve some stress than...

TEXT ALERT!

Girls in the dressing room getting ready and the boys are in the bathroom. "Argh! I've got a text!" Marisol cries out as she tries to locate her phone.

"Islanders, It's time to engage your mula bandha and align your chakras as you relax into some couples yoga. #strikeapose #bendoverbackwards"

ALL: Wooo! Yeah! (Cheering)

"Yoga, yoga, yoga!" The girls do some arm poses and laugh.

Priya: You've done this before? Yoga, I mean.

Am I familiar with yoga? "I've been to a few classes."

The girls are shown running out to the kitchen from the bedroom cheering. "Whoo!" "Whoo-hoo!"

"Yoga, Yoga, yoga!" Priya chants

(BH) Beach Hut Grace (MC): "I love yoga. Just makes you feel calm. I like doing all the little positions they do. The downward dog ones. Oh, god that sounds terrible." "(She giggles).

Iain Stirling: A relaxing couples yoga session? Because who doesn't love a bit of downward dog in the morning?

When you step out into the sunlight, there are yoga mats laid out all over the place. Everyone is standing around chatting waiting for couples yoga to start. Grace said, "Oh, I like the mats."

Iain Stirling: Rocco accidentally volunteered to be the teacher. He thought we asked who was into yoghurt, and he stuck his hand up.

Rocco said to the group: "You're in for a good time, let me tell you."

Grace asked, "You're a yogi?"

He replied, "Uh, not exactly. But don't worry, it's all safe and easy stuff. With the added bonus of having some saucy positions, of course. To your places, everyone! Chop chop." Rocco claps his hands a few times. "Alright guys! Are we ready?"

Marisol smiled brightly. "Absolutely!"

Hope chimed in, "I can't wait for us all to work off some tension. I'm sure we could all use it after last night."

With his hands pressed together, palms touching and fingers pointing upwards, thumbs close to the chest, Rocco said with a slight bow, "Namaste!"

They all place hands together at the heart, close their eyes and bow. All: "Namaste!"

Iain Stirling: Rocco asked me if I wanted to take part. I said, "Nah-I'm-a-stay-in if that's alright with you."

"Our first position today is called Triple Hill." Rocco shows the card with a man and a woman doing the position. "Now, this is your position. Face each other on the mat. Slowly bend down facing each other. Now take a few steps backwards to make sure your forehead touches with that of your partner's. Now, stretch your hands and rest it on your partner's back to feel the pull."

ALL: Chattering.

Rocco walks around. "Come on we got to get a little bit closer than that. Bum's further out." Lottie laughs. Bobby smirks. "Release your arms after being in that posture for five to seven breaths."

BH Bobby: Raises hands over head. "All you're doing is stretching and doing these moves, like, what's that all about? They are all weird names anyways."

The next card. "Double downward-facing dog."

ALL: "Aw!" "Whoo!"

"What?" Gary commented, looking surprised. And Bobby shook his head as he said, "I ain't got anything in my locker."

BH Rocco: "Yoga definitely broke the ice. It allowed people to get to know each other and probably the boys to get a little closer to some of the girls."

Everyone follows Rocco's lead. "Bend down and touch your toes. Move your hands and feet in opposite directions to create space. Maintain straight toes and grounded feet. Lift your pelvis into an upside-down "V" shape. After learning this pose, have your partner execute it on top of you with their feet on your lower back. The upper person lifts and presses the bottom person's hips."

Rocco and Grace were stretching, bending, and flexing with such ease.

"Oh, the blood's going to my head," said Priya.

Gary yells out, "Ow!" The Islanders laugh.

BH Lottie: "I dated a guy who was a yoga teacher once. Never stopped going on about it. Feels like he cared about it more than me. We argued once because I wasn't bendy enough to pull off The Heron. I'm never doing that again. I've got a rule now. Now more Yogis."

Hope says, "You know I'm pretty sure I've done this one before?"

Bobby teased. "Bet you have!

Hope rolls her eyes. "Not that. Downward Dog or whatever it's called."

The next card is Lord of the Dance Pose. "Both stand in Mountain Pose facing each other. Place your right arm on your partner's right shoulder. Bend your left knee and bring your left heel back. Reach back and grip your ankle. Press your right thigh back and up together. Push your foot away. Close your chests. Hold 5–10 breaths."

Hope says happily, "Oh, I like this one."

Rocco instructed the group: "Yeah, get bendy. Get bendy."

"Ah!" (LAUGHS) "Ooh!" (LAUGHS)

Noah looked impressed with how well he and Hope were doing. "Look at that."

Rocco said next, "Eye connection."

Hope smiled back, "Oh, yeah."

Rocco complimented Noah and Hope: "Look at that connection."

BH Hope: "I felt a bit like a ballerina that I've never been."

Rocco flipped the card. Stacked Child pose was next. The group starts chattering: "Whoa!" "So who's on the bottom?" "What?"

Lottie looks at her partner and asks, "Can you put your ass down a little bit more, please, Bobby?"

Bobby cries out, "Don't just jump on me." Everyone laughed.

BH Lottie: "Bobby is definitely not flexible."

Rocco gave the group more instructions: "Place your shins on either side of your partner's back while they're in child's pose. Once stable, relax with your head between their shoulder blades."

Marisol tries to get on Gary and fails. "Is that your willy?"

Gary groaned. "Yeah, that hurt"

ALL: "Ooh."

BH Priya: "Doing yoga is definitely a good chance to get closer to Ibrahim. I'm sure we did positions that we never thought of doing." (She giggled).

The next card is Acro Yoga Partner Pose (Front Plank Pose). "One partner lies on their back with their legs and arms straight up. The other will clasp hands and place the person on the ground's feet on the standing person's hips. The upright partner leans forward slowly until the lying partner can balance on their legs."

The Islanders were very vocal: Grunts. Screams. Squeals. Laughs.

Priya complimented her partner, "You're really good." Ibrahim smiled at her as he said, "You're really concentrating."

BH Marisol: "I don't think Gary has ever done yoga before. A yoga class is meant to be quiet and relaxing. Me and Gary were the absolute opposite."

Plank on plank pose card was next. The Islanders were very vocal again: "Get bending." "Oh, yeah." "Oh!"

Marisol looks over at Hope and Noah and states, "That was really good. Oh, my God!"

Lottie says in an exasperated tone, "Of course Noah is good at this. He is balancing Hope perfectly." Lottie turns to Bobby and says, "Why couldn't you be more like Noah."

BH Bobby: "I had a fantastic view in yoga. (LAUGHS) Yeah I was loving yoga."

"Next pose here is called, 'Let's Pray to Keep It Up'. The Partner High Lunge involves lifting your back heel off the ground. Start in a high lunge with your backs to each other and your back feet in line with each other's back knees. Face away from each other. Reach for your partner's hands while maintaining a gentle backbend position and extending the arms upward to the sky."

Hope said, "Oh, my God we are geniuses. We are amazing yoga people. OK."

“This hurts my groyne,” Bobby says with a laugh and sighs.

"Fuck!" Gary's body shifts as he comes dangerously close to losing his sense of balance.

Bobby wobbles while exclaiming, "Why is this so difficult?" Before losing his balance and crashing to the ground.

"I call this one The Egyptian Pyramid." (Partner Double Boat Pose). "Sit facing your partner, knees bent, feet flat on the mat, and toes touching. Grab hands. Lean back and elevate your right foot (partner's left foot) to a 90-degree angle. Join soles. After stabilising, press your second feet together. Your soles will make contact when you hold hands with all four legs above the ground. Boat stance with your partner, belly button engaged."

Hope cried out, "This isn't gonna work. You're too tall."

Priya giggled and asked, "Do you like the view?" and Ibrahim replied, "Oh, yeah."

"My right hamstrings' cramped! Ow!" Lottie moans. "Oh, my God I can't do it, I can't do it!

"I don't usually touch feet with someone so early." says Marisol to her partner, and Gary responds, "It's a weird one, isn't it?" She noda her head in agreement.

BH Priya and Ibrahim: He says, "I think we had a good yoga relationship. I could see us doing couples yoga." Priya's eyes go wide in surprise as looks at the camera, shaking her head sideways.

Rocco instructs them next, "Now spread your legs out, this is the Spread Eagle."

"I'm not so good at this..." Bobby moaned to which Rocco said, "Mate, yoga is universal."

Bobby replied, "No I mean, I literally can't spread my legs that wide. I don't think I'm cut out for this. I'm not much of an eagle. My wings don't spread wide enough. I guess I'm more like a Blue Tit, or something."

Rocco shook his head, "Mate! Don't be so harsh on yourself. You're so much more than just a tit. That didn't come out how I wanted it to. You know what I mean!"

Bobby laughs light-heartedly. "Maybe I want to be a tit?"

The other's burst out laughing. Gary groans and says, "Oh great, I think I pulled a muscle." Rocco just said it sounds to me like you need more regular classes.

Hope smiled. "Don't worry Gary, we'll get you limbered up in no time." Gary rolled his eyes and grumbled, "I can't wait."

"OK, OK. Enough chatter, you lot. We're going to do the wind-down sesh now. This is the most important part." Everyone finds their way back to their own mat. Rocco takes the lead on more chilled, relaxing sequences of moves. It's quiet in the garden, except for the sounds of everyone breathing. The exercise sequences continue in silence for a little while longer, before winding down to a close. "Then we're going into my personal favourite, the Morning Glory. Alright. Now I want you all to hold this position. And while you do, let your troubles and worries blow away. Close your eyes, and try to visualise your happiness."

Priya said happily, "Ooh, this is so nice. My happiness looks like... a blooming lotus flower."

Marisol frowned and said, "All I can see is darkness. I guess that's my type." Hope agreed with her and said, "Yeah, nah, I'm not seeing anything either."

All are sitting on mats, criss-crossed legs. Rocco says, "Namaste!"and bows.

ALL: "Namaste!" and bow.

[yunnathearcher]

Vision boarding new moon. Deconstruction. Reformulation. Contemplation. Lots of -tion. Heatwave hot outside. Still patient and waiting. Still going, still getting on with it. Goal-setting. Envisioning. Cleaning the slate. Monday? Monday.

Change of season, insects can sense it. Open the door, let one out. I am benevolent. Catch one in my right hand, midair. I am exact. Fire truck in the distance. Learning to be more open, more inquisitive. Nice to meet your acquaintance & such & such. Monday? Monday.

Dreams scattered. Still climbing up the Lords ladder. Could sleep for a week. Overcast skys. Greet the neighbors with my eyes as I lay my yoga mat down at my feet. Feels like I’ve been turned upside down under water in reverse plank. The way life feels tickling my nose. Wind at my back. Namaste. Tuesday? Tuesday.

Read somewhere that self-individuation is considered a sin to the Gods. That individuating requires taking parts from the collective to render the individual whole. I play with this thought in the forefront of my mind throughout the day. Indecision gives way. The beginning of finality sets in. Tuesday? Tuesday.

Crisp morning air. Open the windows. Reversed triangle pose to extended triangle pose. Feel the life force flowing and pulsing through me. Wanting more time in the mornings. Without having to wake up early. Enjoy the nights belonging to me. Wednesday? Wednesday.

Wild caught butter & herb cod for dinner. Gym rush, the peloton bikes all occupied. Except one. For me? For me. Doors and pathways behind the day-to-day reality. I open a few, glance down the halls, keep my feet on the ground and my head to the sky. It’s okay to be just okay at things. Wednesday? Wednesday.

Braless, Sun rays hit my face as I open the front door. Calmness in hovering tabletop pose, hands extended. Know I will be a little late to my hair appt. No sense in rushing now. The whirr of the traffic passing by. I scratch the small of my back. Thursday? Thursday.

Dancing in front of the mirror to Walk Thru. Feeling the heaviness of the city streets through my bedroom walls. Laughing at impatient souls, don’t they realize all we have is right now? Maybe in time there will be more. Going where the energy flows, wandering and wondering some more. Thursday? Thursday.

Love is my guiding truth in life. Opening up my chest, folding over my legs, growing steadily & consistently full. Mornings like these I’m thankful my only real responsibility is me. Brewing coffee. Sitting at my desk in a bandeau bra and panties. “I don’t wanna grow up.” Well I’m all grown up. So now what? Friday? Friday.

Gates of the temple close in preparation of the underworld's gates reopening. All I wanna do is sit in front of the mirror, do my hair, sip wine, read my book and eat good food. So that's what I'll do. Haven’t turned the TV on in weeks. Life feels surreal. Friday? Friday.

Wee hours of the morning. Life’s actually okay-ish. Envisioning new friends and a new lover. A couple clouds in the sky. Body tight around the waist. Forward fold. Deep squat. Right on time for leg day. Revisiting season approaching. Consciously choosing ideas over bad habits and shitty people. Saturday? Saturday.

Outside for the night. Our old spot is closed down. Damn this economy. Where we end up ends up being a great vibe. Love and music going hand and hand. Bass thumping through the speakers, tv muted, youtube rain sleep sounds video on the screen. End of summer. Saturday? Saturday.

And on Sunday She rested.

[notwaitinginthecorner]

I am literally so fucking proud of myself. Instead of panicking about the situation my first thought was to try calling the bank and when they didn't go through bc its not a 24 hour line I gave myself a bit more time to calm down before doing all the math out and it checks out and what I expected to have happened happened and now the single question remains of wtf happened and why. And even moving forward if this is gonna somehow turn into a scam/hassle I am fully aware that I am not liable and I have evidence to prove it. Amen. Namaste. Peace and love on planet earth. All that being said I really hope that what I'm imagining might go down is not going to go down. Please send me good luck I am still incredibly sad and stressed rn

[kwanamikaela]

Passage • March 16 - 21

Dear All of you… this is essential Passage for the Human Collective; the next one. And, Energy, in all meanings of the term, is very focused.

Solar Light Wave (please, look at previous publication) is here not only because we are regularly bombarded with high vibrational Plasma Light for behalf of Ascension, but because we can have uplift Trajectory 'through' to 'cross' the 'time window' of March 16 - 21.

I'm sure that you have noticed, how plenty and generously, we are having influxes from the Great Central Sun; intensities - absorption - intensities. More or less, it challenges physical body, it challenges, how Human Beings are coping with emotional and Mental bodies plus having day to day changing events worldly. Humanity is already heroes - Divine ones remembering Divinity, Divine ones awakening to the super power to see through the maya, veils, dull foggy illusory dome of the old earth. Humankind starts to turn their eyes to the stars and multi-dimensional awareness of themselves; they starts to experience blooming of their Light bodies and subtle Knowing signals, that leads to true joy, replacing hard job with loving Divine services. >>> Trust in yourSelf is courage to create a Life you always deserved, and allow to Universe have your back, and gift to you Love and Abundance.

Our Ascension and Earth's transition to the 5th Dimensional and higher vibrational frequency is NOT has been stopped, nor during such challenging year (March 2020 - March 2021), nor further. Primary Ascension Timeline is in progress. New Earth realities are 'all around'. Human Beings (through perception) are shifting and traveling forth and back; in moments getting involved with emotional responses to corrupted Timeline. But, we also are connecting with own higher Aspects, stellar aspects, Angelic aspects… in order to access unlimited Power and Consciousness (I AM God/Source). Christed energies and crystalline Light Codes from higher expanded planes of existence are reaching out to any Soul and its Light the same, like our Hearts - Divine Flowers to highest warmth of Great Sun in a Heart of Creator.

Interconnectedness is.

We only… used to look at it from narrow angle, from, how far mind is able to understand.

Use your breathe by allowing to Breath oversee your body and mind; take long walks in the Nature to absorb clear air. Do yoga, postures, running… where your body is involved with different breathe cycles and Oxygen. It reduces stress (natural stress reaction from the body-mind, when physicality-mind faces extraordinary doses of Light, or energetical circumstances).

Note: Weird / strange sense. Sense that you are in the midst of "split of the worlds". Difficulty to get back to 'normal' or ground. Confusion.

This Can be, one of most expressed sensations during this passage; please, do not worry, know that it's directly related with it, and, you will not get lost, or crazy.

Supportive tools:

Take this period of the time like a transition for the Collective you are part of, allow to all processes in Collective level happen, and more be in own Energy.

While Collective Field around March 20/21 will be very very very (!) NOISY and RESTLESS, take time away from a social media, alternative news, so that you can nourish yourself with the gifts of Self Love and Self Care. It is an action that rises Love Vibration on the planet, we need right now.

If you choose to go in manifestations, highest Divine Blessings 💪💛 All actions in all levels are worthy.

Coming back on social media at March 22.

I will hold The New Earth radiance - Codes and interact with Ruby Ray of unconditional Love 🌹 in calmness (03/20 - 21)

If there will be newest updates, they will be published.

Namaste 🕊️💛🕊️ Loving you 🌎

Kwana Mikaela

Photo by moalani_t (Instagram)

Kugenumakaigan, Japan

March 18, 2021

[teatimewithlex]

Tough Vs Soft.

Heres the thing about hard things, they break, every time. We assume, “life is hard, I must be harder”, which is the absolute worst advice. Soft things however, do not break.

Being soft IS tough. Heres the trick to it: COMPASSION. I know its hard to find compassion for those who’ve done you wrong, or speak to you condescendingly, or are just plain rude. HOWEVER, take a pause first, and realize the subsequent projection, is not the truth.

YOU know your truth, you know your doing what you need to do, you, know, you. You do not know them, their intelligence, or lack of, their understanding, or lack of, or just plain old different perspective of reality. Which is not wrong. If they want to govern their personal world, with certain rules and regulations, thats their world to do so in.

Its up to us, the ones who are aware of this situation, aware of our world, to NOT meet them on their frequency, or on their world’s rules, because, quite simply, thats not you or your world to worry about. Nor can you change it.

Its an act of silently rising above, to the point of extinguishing the flames of anger, thus no longer needing a reason to be hard. If the gloves are off, you attract less battles. And if you still attract them, this is time to put this compassion tough softness to the test. The more you do this, and the less you react to the rules of this person’s world, that has NOTHING to do with yours, the more soft, unaffected, and light you become.

Once you reach a level of continuous unaffectedness, your going to find that the little things that used to set you off, don’t even tickle that anger bone anymore. You just jump right to the compassion.

Example: you feel that someone is acting or doing something to spite you, or to be disrespectful. Take in the entire situation first, THEN (this is the important part) you assume this person has NO IDEA what they’re doing is upsetting you and your energy. They are not members of your world, they will forget the rules. That’s where healthy dialectical behavior skills come in!

“Hey, so I have a feeling you may have forgotten______about me, and id like to remind you of my boundaries with this situation -OR- Id like to compromise with you on this situation” “When you speak to me in anger, I have trouble understanding your message” “I would appreciate if we could discuss this after we’ve cooled down, and gain better clarity”

Now, for stranger, you don’t need to express your world to them, however you can make it into a lighter situation. “Kill em with kindness” …..but literally. When you respond kindly to someones disrespect, YOU now hold the power.

You are sending an unspoken message saying “I don’t loose control or waste my energy on anything not in alignment with me”. Thus planting a subtle seed in that persons mind “I am literally loosing control of myself…”

Now whether that seed grows or not, is 100% not your problem nor your concern, you’ve done whats right by you, and you can now move on with lack of guilt, shame, energy expenditure, karma and all the other unfavorable energy drainers, that come with.

Your peace is of upmost priority. We must calm our nervous systems, so that we stop reacting with either “fight or flight” and rather to THINK and respond instead. That can only be done once you calm your nervous system. Fight or flight has helped us survive for long, its time to THRIVE, and that comes by respecting and honoring the peace in your personal world. Bend your growing roots, do not break. Soft IS tough.

Namaste,

Lex Vibes

[shawty-writes-a-little]

Frequent clashes

Ram (RRR) x fem!reader

Word count: 2.2k+

Warnings: Angst (happy ending tho)

Summary: The reader is an activist and there’s always a difference of opinion between them but it turns out it be a bigger fight between them—they make up w an emo ending

An: Im sorry if I didn’t capture Ram’s character well HES VERY COMPLEX OK I TRIED

—

The copper vessel made a loud sound as it clashed with the stone floor before circling and finally getting place, scattered. Y/n flung it across the room, opposite to Ram’s direction of course. “What is your problem?!” She exclaimed frustrated. Their marriage was an arranged marriage an expected box for their checklist they both had to cross off. Time went by and despite of their changing views on everything they grew close. Both of them learned to not come in either’s way. Y/n was an activist, moreover she didn’t let anyone come in her way. Rigid and calm and wild and loving. She never hid her activism or her projects from Ram, rather flaunted them to him given his job.

Quarrels like the current one where normal with the pair. Not frequent, but not unusual. One always provokes the other out of line for this outcome but it was different this time. “I did my job? That’s the problem?!” Ram replied exaggerating his hands in front of her.

“Your ‘job’ you rated our rally out to your officers! That was a month of my work!” Y/n wasn't angered easily with the problems she faced with her activism. It took a lot and she was aware of the hardships by now. But taking taunts from Ram here and there was one thing today he was inconsiderate.

“Alright I am sorry for stopping you and your group of misguided rebellions from committing federal crimes?” He scoffed turning away, only so he resisted from saying something even harsh. He had the common main aim as hers, he made her aware of that but every now and then he walked on the thin line of making her doubt him.

“Crime? CRIME? A peaceful rally is a crime but being a traitor to your own country isn’t? Did your classicist white seniors forget to pass an amendment on that?” She asked in a self evident and provocative way. Very less did y/n ever lost her temper but the same couldn’t be said for Ram.

“I am not a traitor to th—” before he could raise his voice y/n interrupted him mid way.

“Does beating your own people feel good to you then? Blockading the city—stopping a peaceful protest of your own people?” The volume of her voice during their arguments never matched his. She never raised it at him or anyone for that matter but her words held more meaning, speaking louder.

“If you are so good at what you do why didn’t you keep your journals in a better place then? Write every information of every plan laid out word to word-and to think you would know better” He huffed insulting her capability in one way.

“So you admit it—You read my journals?! That’s where you got to know about it? You sick—”

“No I did not open your journals to know about anything-I stumbled upon them and it was open.” He spoke with confident but y/n knew enough not to fall for it. Moreover she knew he wouldn’t have simply “stumbled upon it” she never left her planning journals in casual site.

“You know I can’t change what you think is correct neither can you so I thought we had an understanding that we wouldn’t come in each other’s way—I could easily stumble upon the records you keep lying around but I don’t. That’s a line I choose not to cross for our sake. But YOU-you spiteful—”

“Namaste Anna, Bhabhi!” Akhtar greeted walking into the house in his normal cheerful demeanour but he heard Ram from the middle of the street and just walked in on whatever foul words that would’ve followed y/n’s vocabulary before he interrupted them. The tension in the room seemed heavy and the dismantled vessels and arm rest pillows here and there explained even more. Wrong timing.

Y/n was quick to collect herself and cleared her throat “Namaste Akhtar! Come on in!” She replied in just as cheerful tone and a wide smile. Ram stared at her in amusement of her changed tone so sudden, as if only a moment ago he wasn’t about to get the knowledge of every curse word in the book.

It rarely happened that Akhtar ever hesitated entering their house, current situation didn’t seem so favourable. “I was just passing by if you two are in the middle of something I’ll com later.”

Y/n waved him off and shook her head “Not at all! Your Anna and I were just discussing his treacherous—sorry I meant his love for the country” She said that more to tell off Ram than Akhtar.

Ram shot her a glare reading he didn’t appreciate it but she just gave him a mocking short smile “You’re in right time for breakfast come on settle down!” She motioned Akhtar to the living room seating.

Akhtar did enter the room further but wished to flight from the scene as of now “Bhabhi don’t bother—I am quite full right now.”

“I wasn’t asking Akhtar” she smiled at him before turning back and caught Ram’s eye, her smile dropped and she walked to the kitchen.

Turning down food seemed impolite to Akhtar but he didn’t intend to do that. But for now this was the last place he wanted to be at.

As soon as Y/n went inside Ram told Akhtar what happened. Y/n knew about Akhtar being Bheem and what he planned to do. He was going to know what happened through y/n either ways but he had to act on being on Ram’s side for the sake of the conversation.

“Whatever I tell her she doesn’t listen or try and understan—” Ram stopped his rant as y/n walked out of the kitchen.

She smiled wide and didn’t even look in Ram’s direction, annoyed. Placing the plate in front of Akhtar she served him the breakfast—stuffed paratha and poha. Again went in and came back with chai.

Before Akhtar was nearly done with his plate y/n was already crouching to serve him again, he refused at first knowing he planned to leave before another war waged while he was there but y/n reasoned saying it wasn’t much and forced a plateful again.

Ram rolled his sleeves attempting to sit down “I’ll have breakfast as well” he said coldly.

Y/n dropped the serving spoon and the container a few meters above the ground rather than just placing it so it made a thud sound. “Serve yourself then I’ve things to get to.”

__

Ram spent the entire day distressed with how things went with y/n earlier in the morning. It felt odd or maybe it was the first hand guilt. He had never seen y/n get mad like that maybe she felt hurt. They didn’t fight all the time and from what he knew of her she wasn’t someone to overreact or hold a grudge. He was unfamiliar to this, sure they had fought before but he hadn’t felt this way before. Too smug to admit it even to himself that he cared more than just to not engage with her even if she was possibly hurt. He knew he didn’t accidentally open her journals to know about the protest. Despite her never getting in his line of work he failed her plan. Could it be she felt disrespected?

He ought to do something about it he thought but coming to means with his feelings was hard for him as it is let alone putting it into words. Ram was trying this time though, he couldn’t undo what he did which he did not feel wrong of. But he wanted to undo how he made y/n feel. Took him almost the entire day to realise he was the one in fault for but it realised it nonetheless.

On his way back home he stopped at the town mithai store. A backup wouldn’t hurt if his apology turned out bad. He got the warm freshly made nakhatai biscuits, her favourite. The way back home never seemed longer.

Reaching there finally he was surprised not to see her at the stairs of the baramda today. It was a routine of her he was accustomed to by now. If she’d be home first in the later part of the evening she would be outside with her back leaned on the stone pillar reading or watching the hustle on the street.

Y/n was home he figured given their front door was open the lights inside as well. He paced through their living room and then their shared library room. Small light peeped through their bedroom he walked over to. She sat on the edge of their bed by the table lamp from what it appeared cancelling out something in her journal with her head low.

“Y/n” he called out in a hushed tone announcing his presence pulling her out of focus with whatever work she was doing.

She almost didn’t take notice of him walking inside, looking aside from him she quickly wiped traces of tears from her face and stood from her place. “I’ll get your dinner” she said not looking at him. Trying to get past him and into the kitchen as fast as she could.

Ram held her wrist in his hands stopping her in her way, “Are you alright?” Y/n nodded slightly looking away hoping she could leave his sight soon but he sensed something was wrong. “Y/n?” He turned her face towards him revealing her bloodshot eyes which read she had been crying. “Y/n-what happened?” He asked concerned, though she wanted to reply to him tears welled up her eyes again resulting in a sob escaping her lips.

Ram wasn’t familiar with this scenario, he didn’t knew what he was supposed to do or how to console someone but that thought vanished away from his mind. Worried extremely, why she would cry a thousand possibilities already ran through his head though he convinced himself it was surely something he did. She continued to sob as he sat both of them on the bed rubbing her back “It’s going to be alright y/n-what’s wrong?” He asked the rephrased question again.

Y/n exhaled managing her tears she began “The British officers found out of the men enlisted for the rally we had—they tracked them down and gave a hard beating-most of them had to go to the hospital” tears kept flowing as she recalled their hurt faces and their families, all these people with children and settled, some single earners of the family. They trusted in her aim yet she believed she was the one who led them there. Ram’s eyes softened to see her like this which felt like her most vulnerable state “We were making such progress! It’s hard to gather these many people in the first place especially if you’re a woman-I had all these other plans for other protests, send support in other movements I made them believe that we could’ve done it but it feels like I’ve just failed all of them.” She shrugged her shoulders in defeat looking at the crossed out plans in her journals.

“Y/n” he sighed at her wordings disappointed to see her spirit this dampened. Ram took her hands in his gently intervening their fingers “You didn’t fail anyone. I know I never say this but you are the bravest person I know. It isn’t easy fighting against an entire institution but you are trying! Your words have great impact with all these people but there would always be hurdles it doesn’t mean you are on the wrong path. If my father were here he would’ve really liked what you do.”

Y/n looked at him with teary eyes but this time her lips curled into a small smile, what he said warmed her heart and it made her feel much better. But knowing about Ram’s past and him mentioning his father felt a great deal “You think so?”

“Yes!” He exclaimed nodding to assure her he meant it “Also-I need to apologise to you I did read your journals to know about your protest, I know I shouldn’t have—“

“It’s alright I understand it’s your work you had to report it. I get it.” she shrugged her shoulders already forgiving him. He couldn’t take back telling his officers their plan now so it would be pointless being at each other’s throat for it now.

“No it wasn’t just because of my work.” Ram inhaled audibly and continued “You know these protests turned violent in Bihar and other places recently—the government doesn’t listen and people get outnumbered, severely hurt, some even loose their lives it turns tragic. I wanted to prevent it before anything happened. Anything happened to you. I-“ he hesitated. “I don’t want to loose you.”

Oh.

Y/n stared at him comprehending his feelings. He wanted to prevent anything happening to her. He cared that much? She had never seen this side of him before it flabbergasted her. “Ram” she said softly unsure for the right words, she pulling him into a hug wrapping her arms around his neck.

He reciprocated the hug placing his hands by waist in what time felt perfect and he never wanted to let go. Y/n pulled away slightly looking at him “You will never loose me.”

—

Drink water mwah I hope you like this 🧍

🏷 @thewinchestergirl1208 @brekkers-desigirl @voidsteffy @sivuda @yehsahihai @obsessedtoafault @toxicangels1-4

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 299: No Chains Left

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “and then AFO broke out all of the inmates from six other prisons and took a nap. well anyways, here’s the hospital angst.” Kacchan woke up two days later and was all, “WAIT BUT HOW ARE DEKU AND TODOROKI AND ALL OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS EXCEPT IIDA DOING” and then we cut to Shouto’s room where the other U.A. kids were sitting around being Mutually Traumatized and giving each other moral support and such. Everyone was alll, “...”, and then the rest of the Todofam showed up, INCLUDING POSSIBLY REI?! which, omg. The chapter ended with Kacchan STOMPING THROUGH THE HALLS all “WHADDYA MEAN DEKU HASN’T WOKEN UP YET”, dragging along Satou and Mineta behind him, fueled by the power of ALL OF THE FUCKS HE NOW GIVES. He gives so many fucks now you guys. This boy cares so much he can probably deduct it on his taxes.

Today on BnHA: SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO GIVE A LOT OF FUCKS, the story cuts abruptly to Hawks, freshly recovering from his near-death experience, and pondering the threads that have weaved the tapestry of his life and led him to this moment. Basically he grew up in poverty with his Jerk Dad and Jerk Mom until his dad got arrested one day and his mom sent him off to go Find Money Or Something, and so he rescued a busload of people and found himself a new career. Back in the present day, Hawks and Jeanist ride around town in Jeanist’s Jamborghini having awkward encounters with civilians in a country on the brink of social collapse, and visiting Hawks’s mother’s home. Hawks is all “I know from an outsider’s perspective it must look like my life currently sucks, but now that the HPSC is gone, my public image is shot, and my parents are finally out of my life, I’m actually feeling SURPRISINGLY GOOD.” Anyway so he’s gonna go meet up with Endeavor now, and p.s. this chapter was fucking fantastic though, damn.

oh my god?? is this Hawks narration?? something about him growing up watching the heroes on TV and thinking of them as fictional characters

okay I scrolled down a little bit more to see the rest of that “Keigo” panel, and wow

this is basically a shed. poor boy definitely grew up rough. let me tell you guys, I came in here ready for some BakuDeku shenanigans; I was not prepared for Hawks Flashback Angst. I AM HERE FOR IT, but also wow I gotta brace myself now lol

HELLO MISTER HAWKS’S JERK DAD, SIR

BnHA sure does have an array of Jerk Dads, doesn’t it. makes me appreciate characters like Masaru and JirouDad all the more for bucking the trend

anyway. so Horikoshi, you really thought that one itty bitty chapter of hospital catharsis would be enough to calm us all before you went right back to showing us child abuse huh. my god man can we rest

BABY HAWKS

swear to god this kid can’t be more than five or six, and yet he has this completely blank look on his face even with his dad looming over him being all threatening and shit. like he’s shut down his emotions to protect himself. imagine what has to happen to a child for him to have learned this at such a young age. fuck

AND MEANWHILE THIS GUY

don’t mingle with humans?? not “other” humans, just humans?? what is this implying here?? and also holy shit Hawks definitely didn’t inherit his looks from his dad orz

then again he doesn’t really bear much of a resemblance to his strung-out mom here either

omg omg omg. and this child is basically trapped here in this environment with these two people. this explains a SHITLOAD about Hawks’s personality though you guys. his ability to completely separate his real thoughts from the face he presents to the outside world. his pragmatic approach to analyzing and solving problems. his layers of emotional walls. turns out almost none of that came from the HPSC training -- that was all learned hands-on in his own personal do-or-die survival nightmare childhood!! oh, boy

and small wonder then that he latched on to Endeavor so strongly if he really is the one who brought down his dad and inadvertently saved him from this. also, just putting this out there, I know people are always talking about him and Dabi being foils, and I think it’s very interesting how Touya grew up in a household where he saw firsthand the dark side of hero society, and so ended up becoming a villain in order to bring it down. whereas young Keigo had almost the exact opposite experience, growing up experiencing the dark side of villain society and becoming a hero in order to bring about a world where no one else has to experience that. just. both of them are so determined not to become their fathers. some interesting parallels there

so Hawks was sort of an accident after his parents had “thanks for helping me not get caught after I killed that guy” sex, and now this little boy is growing up in squalor and being beaten by his father for things like Sitting In The Wrong Out-Of-The-Way Corner Trying Not To Be A Bother To Anybody. holy fuck. this is so rough to read through you guys

wait so does Jerk Dad have a an eyeball manipulation quirk?? because he doesn’t have the wings like his son, but wth are these things??

this presumably also means that Keigo has never been to school or anything either. he basically doesn’t exist. he thinks heroes are fictional characters, he doesn’t realize that they’re real people. these are people who could help him if he could escape and find them, but he doesn’t know, and they don’t know about him

OH MY GOD HE’S JUST SITTING IN HIS CORNER HUGGLING HIS ENDEAVOR PLUSH OH MY GOD

how could this child possibly have an anti-fandom when he’s done NOTHING WRONG HIS ENTIRE LIFE. huh. just explain that to me. lol I mean I’m not looking to pick a fight with anyone, but also, MAYBE I AM, idk?? this kid has gotten me all riled up lmao

anyways, Protect Keigo 2021, and thank you Horikoshi for these three very terrible pages. I am pleased to inform you that you’ve effectively gotten your point across and you may now commence saving this kid already

YAY

oh no, Keigo’s dumbass jerk dad tried to steal a car and the popo nabbed his ass and now his mom can’t just sit around neglecting her VERY YOUNG SON all day long, oh horrors. sorry lady my tiny violin is on backorder. just imagine that I’m playing a very sarcastic song on it for you

anyway so what are you gonna do now, abandon him? I can hardly imagine he’d be worse off, if anything it might be a near-instant improvement

LMAO HE’S ALL “WAIT WHAT ENDEAVOR’S A REAL FUCKING DUDE?!”

AND THEY SAY THAT A HERO CAN SAVE US~~~~ I’M NOT GONNA STAND HERE AND WAAAAAIT~~~~~ I’LL HOLD ONTO THE WINGS OF THE EAGLES, WATCH AS WE ALL FLY AWAAAAAAY~~~~

lol what a randomly pivotal moment in his young life. TIME TO GO MAKE THESE MEMES INTO DREAMS YOUNG ONE

anyway so his mom freaked out and grabbed him and they wound up at a train station with her TELLING HIM TO GO GET HER SOME MONEY, oh my god. SURE MOM LEMME JUST WALTZ RIGHT ON DOWN TO THE “JOBS FOR FIVE-YEAR-OLDS” STORE AND TELL THEM I NEED SOME CASH. ffff manifesting someone to come help him in 3... 2...

...

SIGH, JUST GO RESCUE THE PEOPLE FROM THE BUS, KEIGO. is this the outfit he was wearing when that happened?? it must be, right?? I can’t imagine them surviving more than a couple days out here unless this starts getting REALLY dark in a way I know that even Horikoshi won’t explore, so yeah. cut to the HPSC now please. never thought we’d be glad to see them. I mean sure, it may be an “out of the frying pan...” case, but good god

THANK YOU!!

and I guess it was his mom’s eyeball quirk then. anyway, whatever, see you again never, hopefully. lol oh man. thaaaat, was upsetting. need to center myself here for a sec. NAMASTE

OH YAY THE PRESENT

so we cut from Baby Hawks Angst straight to Present Day Hawks Angst, huh. not that this exhausted and traumatized lil lad isn’t still a baby to me too, I’ll have you know

BEST JEANIST, ALWAYS WITH THE JOKES

“WHEW, THOUGHT YOU DIED ON ME FOR A SEC THERE KID.” lmao. Caleb will no doubt ruin this by making his word choice all stiffly formal as usual, so I’m just going to treasure this “WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, I’M FRESH OUT OF FUCKS” version of Jeanist while I can

look at him, driving his Jeanistmobile

again, is it any wonder Kacchan was bitching about Endeavor’s dinky little car when he was used to riding around town in style like this. anyone else staring at this panel trying to figure out how this car is somehow secretly made of jeans

NOOOOO

FUCK YOU DABI LMAO. PUTTING THESE VOICE ACTORS OUT OF A JOB ONE BY ONE

anyway so Jeanist is all “GOOD THING IT’S THE FUTURE AND WE’RE SO GOOD AT MEDICAL SCIENCE” to handwave how Hawks went from one step shy of being a very handsome corpse, to sitting around texting Jeanist in a car all of two days later

OH MY GOD, AND FINALLY AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS

wait a minute. I’m so confused lmfao. soooo, was Hawks all “anyway, here’s Jeanist’s dead body, you can examine it but please don’t look at him too closely and also I’m gonna need that back unharmed.” how tf did you pull that off lmao

(ETA: also isn’t this technically confirmation of the ol’ Noumu Jeanist theory lol. I’m gonna go ahead and say it is.)

NO BUT PLEASE, CONTINUE. I unironically love reading Horikoshi’s overly convoluted “SEE IT’S NOT A PLOT HOLE” explanations

lkldslfk so wait, you’re telling me Hawks convinced Dabi and the League to put Jeanist’s body in storage, and basically just hoped they wouldn’t use him for any experiments until he could put his plan into action and have the HPSC’s people break in and find and revive him?? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG. A FOOLPROOF PLAN IF I’VE EVER HEARD ONE

fff this man really asked Jeanist to risk it all to prop up his little cover story, and Jeanist was all “sure why not” omfg. anyways, thanks for recapping all of this out loud for no particular reason in your car conversation you two

LMAO NOW WHAT

TROUBLE YOU SAY? GOOD THING THE NEW NUMBER ONE HERO IS ON THE JOB THEN

okay no it’s just some random thugs strolling around terrorizing the downtown. fuck ‘em. so Jeanist is making short work of them now

uh oh

won’t come? not can’t, but won’t?? what???

WOW

well I guess that makes the local heroes A BUNCH OF SHITHEADS now doesn’t it?? jesus

and okay, serious question, if the cops are spread too thin and the heroes have literally walked out on the job, what exactly is stopping everyone from deciding to use their quirks to defend themselves, legal or not? nothing, as far as I can tell. society just got a hell of a lot more chaotic

anyway so this is an interesting panel here

man, Dabi really did pull it off, didn’t he. well anyway so here’s that better world all of the villains were wanting, you guys! isn’t it so great?? everyone’s terrified and angry and losing hope and society is inches away from collapsing into total anarchy! but hey, at least we exposed the number one hero as a hypocrite

anyway so what are these guys up to

fucking hell, he’s visiting his mom. I really wasn’t prepared to commit this much emotional energy towards reading this chapter today. BUT VERY WELL, WE PRESS ON

?? wait she’s not there?

is this supposed to explain how Dabi knew who Hawks really was? except that there’s the little matter of how he even know where to find his mother in the first place. feels like we’re still missing something there, but oh well

OH MY GOD

RHA I TAKE BACK EVERY WORD I EVER SPOKE AGAINST YOU. YOU ARE A SCANLATION GROUP FILLED WITH ANGELS LMAO. I WILL TAKE THIS PANEL IN MY HANDS, AND TREASURE IT AND KEEP IT SAFE

ANYWAY, BECAUSE MY TIRED BIRD SON’S LIFE SUCKED SO MUCH ALREADY, IT TURNS OUT HE’S ACTUALLY PLEASED WITH THIS NEW TURN OF EVENTS LOL HOW ABOUT THAT

GOOD FOR YOU BBY. YOU GO OUT THERE AND BE YOUR OWN PERSON

and in all seriousness, I love that identity he chooses -- chooses, because it actually is him making a choice now, possibly for the very first time in his life -- is “guy who helps people”, though. it really is nothing short of miraculous that he held on to that kind of optimism and desire to do good even with everything he’s been through. there were so many times he could have chosen to turn his back on the world in retaliation for the way it treated him. but he didn’t!! and here he is now, finally free, and what he wants to do with the rest of his life now is simply to help others. anyway please excuse me for a moment, I need to go find some sort of basket or a big vase to put all of my fresh new Hawks Feels in, pardonne-moi

YEAH BOIIIIII

“FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS, MISTER JEANIST, WHERE DID YOU FIND YOUSELF THAT SWEETASS CAR.” hey, all I’m saying is if this boy’s wings really aren’t growing back, he’s gonna need to find himself a new means of transportation y’know?

oh my god you guys it’s a flashback to his mom buying him the Endeavor plushie when he was like two because, and I quote, ALL MIGHT WAS TOO EXPENSIVE

oh my god oh my god. my boy out here with a new lease on life finding hope in the darkest of times

wasn’t your throat supposed to be all fucked up lmao. Horikoshi was suddenly all “oh shit the VAs are gonna be pissed at me if I keep this up huh”

“that’s why Bubaigawara was such a great guy” motherfucker IT IS A TERRIBLE DAY FOR RAIN. FORECAST SAID NOTHING ABOUT THIS

:’)

yes ma’am. yes indeed. confirmed, I really will straight up fight some motherfuckers for this child. well not really, but YOU KEEP YOUR DISCOURSE OFF MY LAWN AND OUT OF MY BLOG YOU HEAR. THIS IS A HAWKS-FRIENDLY SPACE. WE RESPECT TAKAMI KEIGO IN THESE STREETS

and he’s saying (or is he thinking?? what a weirdly shaped speech bubble this is) that even if what Dabi said about the Todoroki household is true, “I’m not sure it’s the same now.” which happens to be ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. man this whole chapter really is all about saying “fuck the past” and moving forward and I am living for it

SON!!!!

“the first step is at my beginning” fklkjlk. what an iconic fucking line??

AND HIS WINGS!!!! THEY ACTUALLY ARE GROWING BACK AHHHHHHH. “PUT A RAINCHECK ON THAT CAR, JEANIST-SAN.” THE HAWKSMOBILE CAN WAIT, RIGHT NOW HE HAS TO GO INSERT HIMSELF BACK INTO THE TODODRAMA WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT

you guys. I came here ready for some BAKUDEKU HOSPITAL ANGST, and I got DIDDLY SHIT of that, and none of my other kids were even in this chapter, but!!! ASK ME IF I CARE LMAO omg. because bird son is hanging with his new best friend, and he’s out here Finding Himself and picking up the pieces and putting them back together stronger than ever because RESILIENCE HAS A NAME, AND IT’S SPELLED H-A-W-K-S, and you guys. profound, my love for this child. holy shit. hey google, play Silence by Marshmello

[lazyyogi]

Hey lazy yogi! Hope you’re having a sweet time.

I have a question I’ve been contemplating. I noticed lately that some days I just really get into the flow of things. A day comes when I feel great, my mind feels clear and untethered, my heart filled with good intentions, my communication free and kind, everything just works and feels aligned.

Then some little fear creeps in that maybe I forgot how I got to this good place where I am, that maybe I lost the rhythm and flow and wouldn’t be able to recreate this same awesome mindset tomorrow. Suddenly, this clear mind seems precious, vulnerable and precarious, like I have to save it from crumbling.

I realize this is a form of attachment to this clear and beautiful state of mind and this attachment breeds grasping and identification with elements that are non-self (like the day that has passed).

How do I channel this understanding in order to produce better days, better intentions, clearer mind, and freedom in this life? Thank you! You’re awesome.

Hey friend! 

This is not an unusual experience, especially with meditators. During a meditation session, we may enter a period of no-mind in which the headspace is clear of thoughts and the bodyspace is peaceful and serene. But then a thought pops up, something like: “I’m doing it!” and then “Oh no!” and then “Now I’m thinking about it!” and it all falls apart. 

Such an experience is not too different from what you are asking about. These thoughts creates small tensions and fears that appear to tangle up our naturalness in contrivance and seemingly disrupt our flow. 

I have two points I would like to discuss on this matter. The first is on the View and the second is on the Development.

The View

An important thing to have is a clear understanding of what this flow state you are describing actually is and from where it comes. It is actually mindfulness; that is what you are describing--correct mindfulness practice. Right now it seems fragile and precarious. That is because you understand it as something caused. It is different from your typical daily state and so when you get into that groove, you recognize its preciousness and try to hold onto it. 

You have an excellent insight regarding how that kind of grasping (attachment) actually disrupts the mindfulness. However, there is more to it than that. And this is where a bit of philosophy actually becomes practical and useful. 

When you are trying to solve a problem, the best way to approach it is by assuming there is an answer to the problem already and then trying to find the answer as if it is just there waiting to be found. This frames the whole situation in your favor. You don’t need to invent the answer, you just need to recognize it.

Similarly, it is helpful to view the mindful state as your basic nature. That state of flow, clarity, and calm is who you are and how you are when you are not deformed by egoic identities and the fears/desires/motives of those identities. 

Suzuki Roshi once described Zen as “a strong confidence in our original nature.” Suzuki’s style of Soto Zen was all about gradually developing such confidence through Zen practices. That original nature is already there but the confidence in it is what grows. 

Right now you are learning how to develop that confidence. You have had glimpses of that original nature through these flow states, these mindfulness practices you have been knowingly or unknowingly doing. 

So all of this is not about how to create and maintain a special state. That would be a fragile understanding. Instead, it’s about learning how to get out of your own way to allow yourself to be as you actually are when free from contrivance. Then there is nothing to maintain, no effort needed. The effort is for noticing and overcoming egoic patterns and momentum, but there is no effort needed for the flow itself.

How to develop this?

The Development

Imagine you are learning how to juggle. 

1. At first, you will be clumsy. Maybe you’ll be able to execute a move or two but overall you will spend more of your time picking balls up from the floor than actually juggling them. Many people who try new things get stuck at this point already and give up.

2. With some practice, however, you’ll learn to juggle a few balls in succession before dropping them. You’ve started to get a feel for the rhythm but you’re still sorting out your technique. The possibility of actually mastering this becomes real and enthusiasm grows.

3. In time, you start to actually juggle. You can feel the rhythm and you have the technique down so you are starting to get the “knack” for it. Yet once you start juggling in that flow, the slightest thought or excitement will disrupt your rhythm and cause you to drop the balls. You’re juggling but the mind can still get in the way. This is where a lot of frustration and confusion can arise. There isn’t much of a difference between this stage and the next in terms of technique. But whereas the other stages could be powered through by hammering away at technique, this stage requires a shift in the state of mind.

4. After continuing to develop and play with your juggling flow, soon it gets to the point where it is just natural. Like walking. Thoughts may come and go but they aren’t able to effect your flow. You don’t care about dropping the balls and so you don’t fear it. Without that fear, there is significantly less reactivity and tension, and as a result your flow improves.

While there is some skill and eye-hand coordination developed through these stages, between steps 3 and 4 is the most significant shift and it involves your consciousness, not your technique. There is an element of surrender as well. You’re willing to allow the balls to drop, for the flow to be disrupted, because you have the confidence in your natural state. You know you cannot lose what you are and regardless of whether the balls are being juggled or falling, you are That.

This understanding can be applied to learning almost anything new. I use it to develop my surgical skills all the time. Having an idea of where you are in your development helps to guide your expectations and your approach. 

Now to finally address your question: “How do I channel this understanding in order to produce better days, better intentions, clearer mind, and freedom in this life?”

As you might have guessed by now, this is something developed gradually. Daily meditation, daily mindfulness, physical integration such as yoga, and other spiritual practices are essential in helping this to occur. 

Cultivating good intentions is the realm of Bodhicitta, for which extensive buddhist techniques can be found. I am particularly fond of Lojong, a set of slogans for training the mind in compassion. I would recommend the book Training the Mind and Cultivating Loving-Kindness by Chogyam Trungpa.

Cultivating a clear mind is achievable through meditation and mindfulness practice. I like to recommend The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle as well as The Enlightenment Process by Judith Blackstone, however there are plenty of resources out there to help you with this. 

And lastly, freedom itself is the result of Awakening. A person walking at night sees a large snake laying in the path, ready to strike. That person can try to fight the snake or learn snake-charming or whatever, but their attention will be on the snake. Turning on a flashlight, the person sees the snake is actually just a pile of rope. All of the fears and concerns regarding the snake vanish--they were never real to begin with no matter how real they felt in that moment. 

That is the freedom that comes with Awakening. 

Namaste my friend :) I hope this was helpful.

[pastrnaks-sainz]

Game Texts 11/20/21 Bruins - Flyers

- taylor crimes…

- shove fliggy again I DARE YOU

- NOSE!!!!!!

- 👃🏼

- philly fans are the WORST

- don’t fucking fuck with cheeks

- bruin is PASSED OUT on my leg abd how TF am i supposed to remain calm enough to keep him asleep

- You’re the chosen one

- You cannot move now

- It’s a good exercise

- Namaste bitch

- FORBS X2

- blidh shut the fuck up

- that was sexy

- bergy you’re too pretty to be in the box

[chumpmagump]

For the first time in a while I feel whole and honestly happy.

Don’t get me wrong it doesn’t mean my life is perfect. But I’m finding myself feeling more.. together, whole, confident.

I have a social life

I recently moved and am living in a beautiful home in a beautiful coastal city

I’m chipping away at my career

I still have contact with my family despite everything

I have a love/ sex life, even if it’s complicated.

And generally I feel I connect with others

I’m more confident, I’m making meaning out of my life, and I finally feel I’m safe enough to do some processing of my former years. Of at least to make sense of it.

I think this is one of these big mile stone markers of emotional and psychological progress. Not with everything , but overall I feel … good. Unbothered. Calm. Happy. A solid 8/10. Not long ago I was feeling suicidal, I waited it out and I’ve come out the other side. And it’s strange, I have times in my life where I say I’m going to start living and I do live but this kind of tenseness and hyper vigilance always accompanied it. I couldn’t fully enjoy what I was doing a lot of the time. But now I feel that’s eased off. I feel like normal. Whatever normal is ? I would imagine it’s something like this.

And as I type this the rain begins to fall outside my large open window. As if the universe is in sync with me.

I could write all the little details that give example to why I’ve noticed I’m like this.. the way I drive to work in the mornings, the fact I’ve been going to the beach , my interactions with others, the breeziness of the day on my skin , the way I’ve been feeling myself in the mirror

Namaste. I wish this feeling to come to everyone.

But if I don’t admit it now, how will I remember what happiness feels like.

Im happy.

[ashestoashesjc]

A Necromancer & His Zombie Boyfriend On A Couple's Retreat

Short Story 1/2/(3)/4/5/6/7/8/9/10

"RrRRrrrr... grrr? <Hey, uh, babe... seen my arm anywhere?>" rang Sett's voice throughout their cigar box of a house as he rummaged through closets, opened cabinets, overturned couch cushions. 

Shutting and latching the front door behind him, Ulrick began flipping through the stack of envelopes clutched in his right hand. "Huh? Oh…”

“Okay, so… don’t get mad,” Ulrick began, as meekly and guilt-tinged as one can make a shout. “But... there was this huge, I mean HUGE silverfish…” 

“GRrrr! Rrrrr. <Dude! Not cool,>” could be heard as Sett stomped his way to the foyer. 

“I know! I’m sorry! I’m weak!” moaned Ulrick. 

Sett sighed as he entered the cove and laid his single remaining hand on Ulrick’s left shoulder, the other sleeve draped flaccidly at his side. “Grrrr. <Well, yeah.>” he said. Ulrick snickered. 

“You know, having your boyfriend kill a bug for you is exceedingly normal,” Ulrick said, separating the bills from the letters that weren’t bills. There were very few that weren’t bills. “Almost conventional.” 

“Rrr. <True,>” Sett replied. “Rggrrrr. <Probably while the arm’s still attached, though.>”

“A mere quibble.” 

“Rrrrgrrr? <So, where is it now?>” Sett asked. 

“Ugh. Still getting cozy with the silverfish, I’d imagine,” Ulrick admitted, guilt creeping back into his voice. He covered his eyes with his free hand and shuddered. “In… the shower.”

Sett sucked air through his teeth in a compassion-filled cringe. 

“Yeah,” Ulrick sighed, resigned to his trauma. 

“Grrrr. <Don’t worry,>” said Sett. “Rraarr. <I got it.>” 

Ulrick slid his hand down his face with a grateful groan. “God, I love you.” Sett pulled him forward by his collar and pecked his forehead.

Continuing to sort through the mail, Ulrick came to a red envelope and, seeing it addressed to Sett, handed it over. “Looks important.”

Confusion clouded Sett’s eyes for the first few, slow moments spent undoing the envelope’s seal flap, until suddenly, a surge of realization like lightning drove him to violently tear the crimson paper away.

As he scanned the contents of the letter contained within, words failing to do his emotional state justice, Sett began to fist pump wildly, God help anyone in the flight path of his singular elbow. Ulrick looked on in entranced bewilderment.

“Was there itching powder in that envelope?” asked Ulrick.

Sett shoved the creased letter in Ulrick’s face, his manic energy not yet dissipated. Ulrick took it and held it out at arm’s length until his eyes brought the words into focus. 

“A couple’s retreat?” he wondered aloud, lowering the paper enough to peer over the top at Sett.  

“Grrgrrrr. <An all-expenses paid couple’s retreat.> Rrrrrr. <At a swanky resort.> GrrrrRr. <Complete with water skis.>”

“This is from a contest?” he asked, rotating and inspecting the sheet. “When did we enter a contest?”

“Rrggrrrr? <You know those entry slips we’re getting in the post all the time?>”

“The ones I’m always throwing away? I’m familiar.” 

“RrrRrrrrr ggrrrr. <Well, your aim could use some work, because some of them wind up in the mailbox,>” said Sett, with a shrug.

The sound that next filled the room, colored with exasperated mirth, was one Sett was used to Ulrick making, though one that never stopped bringing a flush of heat to the place where his heart used to be. 

He grabbed Ulrick by the hips and the two began to sway back and forth. “Rrrrrr. <Just imagine it,>” he purred dreamily. “GrrrRRrrrr rrrrRrrr grrr...arrrr? <Massages, rock-climbing, a luau. And… did I mention waterskiing?>”

Swaying still, Ulrick looked up with his head cocked. "I've... never heard you mention waterskiing before."

"GrrRrrrrrr. <I enjoy a lot of things I don't talk about.> Rgrrrrgrrr. <Like country music, or bad chick lit,>" Sett said before twirling and dipping Ulrick in a blur. "Rraarrrr. <I'm a multi-layered zombie.>"

Breaking clumsily away from the songless dance and squeezing the bridge of his nose, Ulrick set down the remainder of the mail on the side table by the entrance and looked his boyfriend over. “It’s totally free?”

“Grrarrr. <It’s totally free,>” confirmed Sett. 

Ulrick raised an eyebrow. “No catch?” 

“Rrr… <Well…>”

-

“And streeetch! That’s right! Streeetch!” 

At the front of Meadow Grove Resort’s famed yoga studio balanced - one foot planted on the ground, the other hooked deftly behind her neck - Chrysanthemum Smith, a remarkably limber 60-year-old instructor, urging her out-of-shape contest winning students to achieve the same feats of flexibility.   

All around Ulrick and Sett, a pretzel factory’s soon-to-be-discarded collection of heinous, gnarly undesirables had been given life in the form of sweaty middle Americans. 

That pretzels went through a less agonizing process being baked at 500 degrees was a fact Ulrick was both confident in and envious of. His legs were angled in a way he was sure he’d feel for weeks to come. 

Sett, on the other hand, had apparently been a contortionist in a past life, the way he bent himself into poses, well, a pretzel would gawk at, holding each position stoically before moving gracefully on to the next. It also helped that he couldn’t feel what would leave most tendons shredded rags.

Ulrick gave up the pursuit of dislocating his pelvis and instead went to poke Sett in the cheek. Through his mask, Sett made a chomping motion at the finger, though remained otherwise totally still. "Okay, but this kind of bites, right?" Ulrick signed. 

"A little. And not in the fun way," Sett signed back.

On a pair of blue, rubber mats to their left were two women - one in a biker's jacket and tattered, patched jeans, short red hair tied into a haphazard ponytail; the other a dark woman donning a shaved head, flower-patterned maxi dress, and combat boots - the former of whom suddenly grabbed Ulrick's attention with a nod. 

"You're telling me," she signed. 

And in an instant, they were no longer alone in the hazy, secluded sphere that made their reality.

So taken aback was he that he blurted aloud, "You sign?" 

The yoga instructor shushed him from her place at the head of the wide room, leading him to duck down sheepishly. With the forced inclusion of an overly casual air, he said more than asked, "You sign."

"Oh, yeah," the woman chuckled gruffly. "Mom's Deaf." 

Taking a sudden interest in the conversation, Sett's head swiveled to the leather jacket-clad woman. "Shit yeah!" he signed with fervor, eliciting a harsh snort from the woman. The instructor's head whipped around to glare her way, but went ignored. 

Sett's hands jumbled for a moment before he continued. "I mean, I'm sure that must have been very difficult for your family and--"

She gave a dismissive wave of the hand. "Nah, don't worry about it. She's capital 'D' Deaf. A congenital thing. Whole family's been signing forever."

Her wife - Jen, they later learned - chimed in with, "Di does it at home, too. She's taught me half the lyrics to Boys for Pele." 

"Wow!" Ulrick said with teeth-clenching enthusiasm. "That's so great! Isn't that so great, Sett?"

The mask did nothing to conceal Sett's raised, beaming features. "That's so great!" he signed. 

"I'm sorry!" bellowed the lithe yogi, shattering all delusions of serenity. "Am I boring you?" 

Several overlapping voices came to the general consensus of "Christ, yes."

One of the husbands, portly and somewhat resembling the famously affable capybara, asked, somewhat less affably, why they were being stretched into taffy when they should be outside taking one-on-one lessons with the beach volleyball instructor. He was joined by a few surly “yeah!”s. 

They were met with an unimpressed crossing of the arms. Though it should be noted Smith’s foot was still being held comfortably behind her head. 

"I would suggest, in the future, that you more closely scrutinize contest entries," Yogi Smith advised in as calm a manner as it seemed she could now manage, though with an unmistakable edge to her voice. "In order to partake in our facility’s more... physically involved activities, you’ll first need to align and cleanse your mental, emotional, and spiritual energies.”

This provoked a studio-wide groan, with the exclusion of Jen, who seemed just eager enough to cancel out the cloud of grim impatience encircling her. 

“Unless, of course,” Smith said, shifting poses to something favoring the letter ‘G’, “you’d prefer to construct your own schedules. In which case, a full price admission to Meadow Grove Resort remains available.”

She sleekly extended her right leg, pointing its foot pin-straight toward the sliding studio doors. “Don’t, as the masters of yore were wont to say, let the door hit ya.” 

When no one moved and the room went quiet enough to hear an acupuncture needle drop, Smith resumed a standing position and bowed three times to each division of the studio. “Namaste. Namaste. Namaste.” 

Chrysanthemum Smith had in no way undersold how ‘aligned and cleansed’ couple’s therapy and its airings of dirty laundry and subsequent ferocious dissolutions of decades of marriage; couple’s pottery, the same thing but with clay vases; and couple’s finger-painting, a bonding exercise in shared humiliation, would make their minds, emotions, and souls through sheer gut-rending hilarity.

Ulrick almost didn’t want to stop watching people who, hours ago, seemed all confidence and bravado, now being brought to tears by an instructor’s criticism of their macaroni art lacking ‘depth.’ 

But their confinement was over and they were free to roam the grounds as they saw fit and Sett, without even feigning to look for a map of the resort, made a beeline for the largest body of water (and the largest gathering of humans) he could sniff. Ulrick was still surprised at times by how agile Sett could be on his feet when on the hunt for blood - or recreational watersports - and struggled to keep up. 

Their long-awaited waterskiing adventure began almost as soon as they arrived at the lakeside, the instructor needing a volunteer at that instant to man the skis while he lectured another guest on the controls of the boat. At nearly a head taller than anyone else present, Sett didn’t need much more than a raised hand to stand out. 

Things were going great; Sett mounted on skis as long as he was tall, the boat revving greedily for take off. At Sett’s thumbs up, the runabout hammered off in a thunderous roar. And then, all at once, things were going wrong. 

The envisioned majesty of skimming the motionless calm of the crystal river was halted abruptly with a leaden Sett stumbling mid-lake in his skis, trying and failing to correct himself, going feet-over-head, and sinking like an anchor to the agitated silt of the riverbed below. 

Ulrick, though he jumped with concern at the first hint of a misstep, expected a brief swim back, perhaps slowed a bit - but not much - by Sett's stoney limbs. He’d been the star diver of his local swimming hole as a teen and still maintained some of the underwater dexterity, though nowadays tended to lurk the floors of bodies of water like a carnivorous bottom-feeder; eating habits included.

But then a few minutes passed, and nothing. A lifeguard and two of the more experienced swimmers among the guests plunged into the river and searched for fifteen minutes, cracking the surface now and again for a gulp of air, all to no avail. The water was too cloudy with sediment to see past a certain depth, and the orange-purples of dusk were beginning to settle in. They'd need to return in the morning with a diving team.

It'd now been forty-five minutes, and three of the resort’s other guests were consoling Ulrick, one herself on the verge of waterworks. They'd just witnessed a man - someone's significant other - torn tragically from life's teat, and in front of the man he loved, no less. 

Ulrick, for his part, was positively miffed. 

"When I get my hands on him..." Ulrick started, before one of the grievers tossed him a teary-eyed questioning look. "Er, that is... would that I could only put my hands on him... again..." he corrected. 

Just as Ulrick had begun mentally reviewing the basics of the Arts of Throttling, a movement, barely noticeable, shook the surface of the lake. Then bubbles, then the full break of the water as a head rose into view. Then the screams of onlookers as, in the fading light, a ghastly lake monster began its murderous approach. Then screams of a different kind as people began to make the connection proper. Then there was weeping, fainting, more than one declaration of faith renewed. It was a miracle!

Later, after insistences for medical attention were politely but firmly refused and the religious stragglers begging for just a smell of Sett’s waterlogged clothes were shooed away, Ulrick asked why he waited so long to resurface, to which Sett said, "GrrrrRRrr. <Well, at first I was just sort of embarrassed.> RrrrrrrGrrrRrrr? <Then I thought, "How often do these people see miracles?>"

"Oh, sure," groaned Ulrick. "A man comes out of a lake after half an hour and it's a miracle. A man comes out of a grave after a few months and it's "Grab the torches and pitchforks, everyone!""

"Rrrr. <Babe.>"

Ulrick gave a pouty grumble. "I'm just saying. One's a little more miraculous, is all." 

Sett pulled Ulrick's head into his chest and stroked his hair. "GrrrRrrrRrrr. <Shh, I know, dude, I know.>" His heavy, soaked clothes and lack of body heat didn't chill Ulrick as much as they should have, and though a fine coating of sand covering him from head to toe gritted against Ulrick's cheek, it only made Ulrick rub his face in rebelliously. 

"Okay," Ulrick said, resting his fists on Sett's chest and gazing up into his eyes. "What's the next activity? I think we’re... due-au for a luau?" The moment the words left his lips, his face collapsed into disgusted regret.

“Rgrrr... <Actually…>” Sett said, wrenching off his mask and shaking the excess water from his hair, teasing a blush out of Ulrick. “GgrrrRrrrr? <Doesn’t watching the stars by the lake sound pretty relaxing?>”

Ulrick grinned and took a seat on the shoreline, running his hands through the tufts of ryegrass stretching out in waves around him. He tapped a spot to his right and Sett, half-cocked smile in tow, came lumbering over to take it. 

Hours flurried past, changing nothing about the image of the intimately silent pair but the number of stark white pinpricks in the sky they beheld. 

They threatened to sit silently basking in each other forever. 

And then Sett said, “GRrrrrgrrr, rrgrrr, graargrr. <So, Diane and Jen gave me their number, and they want to plan an outing.>” 

Unease shot through Ulrick’s veins, but he held his tongue in search of the correct words. “O-oh?” 

“Grrr? Rrgrrrrr. <Isn’t that cool? People want to spend time with us,>” said Sett, ensorcelled with the twinkle of every new star. “Rrrrr. <With me.>”

“That might be…” began Ulrick, before noticing the glimmer in Sett’s eyes and faint lift at the corners of his mouth as he stared up towards a great unknown. He sighed. “It’s going to be great.” 

Sett rested his hand on Ulrick’s, their fingers interlocking. He smiled, and the two gazed into an ever-darkening firmament, speckled with a thousand stars and a thousand futures. 

[secretly-a-cold-blooded-murderer]

Meet the Folks (Harry Styles x Indian!Reader)

A/N: This is my first time posting an imagine; please do leave reviews, it would help me get better.

Summary: Harry meets your parents for the first time.

”Can you stop being so jittery? They are not going to kill you” 

“Ya’ don’t know that, they might as well”, 

“H my parents are not going to murder you; they might hurt you, but homicide is not really their style”, you winked and let out a little laugh. 

“Can you like not joke right now? Y'know how important this it to both of us”, Harry said in a tense tone, sweat beads seen on his forehead as he ran his fingers through his hair.

You had been dating for about a year now, and only recently had you told your parents about your boyfriend. Truth is, you were scared of their reactions when telling them about your relationship with the Harry Styles.

You came from a modest background and recently earned your medical degree after several years of hard work and all-nighters. 

Meeting Harry was a complete accident, literally; he got into a minor car crash and was rushed into the hospital where you were doing your internship.

It was not a meet-cute, the complete opposite really, involving a lot of blood, injuries, and the horrible hospital smell.

But being with him gave you a joy that not many people could match. It wasn’t always easy, a large chunk of your relationship was long distance and involved a lot of late-night calls, video calling sessions, and if all that failed, the good ol’ texting.

There were times when communication seemed impossible amidst his chaotic life as a singer and your busy schedule being a surgeon. But you made it work, because nothing sounded better than hearing Harry’s voice through your phone after a really long day of work.

You kept your relationship low-key and Harry being the way he is, always managed to deflect the questions during interviews which somehow always circled back to you. You already had a busy life and didn’t need the added stress of hate on social media, so you avoided it completely. 

But there was always a little piece of you that feared the day you had to tell your parents about Harry. You weren’t ashamed of him. But this relationship with him wasn’t something your parents would understand. You get it, they are your parents and they worry about you, which makes this so much worse. Harry is always under a spotlight, his personal life doesn’t seem all that personal, and he is away on tour for most of the year.

It took you a long time to gain the courage and tell your parents about him; they were not happy. You had to grovel and basically emotionally manipulate them to convince them to at least give him a chance.

So, on a plain Friday evening, you two were driving to your hometown, both silently praying that you make it out alive.

————————————————————————

“Touch their feet and greet them with a namaste; don’t ever call them by their names, it’s extremely rude; call them Sir-Ma’am or Uncle-Aunty. Remove your shoes on the doorstep and don’t talk about drinking. At all. What else am I forgetting?” you counted on your fingers all the dos and don’ts of meeting Indian parents.

“Weren’t you supposed to be the cool one? You should be calming me down, it’s my head they’ll be coming for”, Harry’s frown deepened and he wiped his clammy palms on his jeans. So you tried to keep your nerves calm and decided to lighten the mood, seeing you fast approaching your place. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t let anyone touch even a strand of your hair. But seriously H, I know my parents mean a lot to me, but you’re also starting to really grow on me and no matter what happens tonight, you won’t be getting rid of me anytime soon”, this was the first time throughout the whole ride that you saw Harry’s frown disappear slightly and his shoulders relax.

Your mother opened the door and greeted you with a big smile and an even bigger hug; she then turned to Harry, who instantly dropped down to her feet, and shrieked ‘Namaste’. Her shoulders tensed up and she let out a little gasp, freaked by Harry’s sudden movements but when understood the situation, gave him her blessings.

You looked around your house, which hadn’t changed one bit since you moved out all those years ago. You could almost see a younger you running around this place, wearing your mother’s makeup and pretending to be Madhuri Dixit; you felt your lips curving upwards. 

Your parents didn’t want you moving out, saying it wasn’t your tradition. But you knew you wanted to see more of the world and figure out the life you wanted for yourself.

You sat down next to your dad on the sofa, who was watching the television and hadn’t even turned around to see you. You knew he was not the happiest with you being with Harry and you planned on changing that.

“So, this is the way you’re gonna be tonight? Not even going to say hello to your lovely daughter?” you smiled a little. Your dad turned to face you, his mouth set in a hard line and not even sparing a look at Harry who had been standing at the entrance of the room, “So you finally remember your old man? Thought you had forgotten me with the way you have been acting”.

“What are you talking about, you oaf? I visited you last weekend. I admit I haven’t been partaking in our nightly phone calls that often but that does not give you enough reason to be angry with me Papa,” your dad just rolled his eyes in response, “Now meet Harry, he has been really anxious about this meeting”, you gestured to Harry asking him to come forward and settle down on the couch in front of you.

Harry offered a meek namaste to your father who just grunted in response. “So, heard you just wrote an album about your ex-girlfriend?” your dad glared at him, daring him to offer an explanation. You felt a little weird, kind of embarrassed that this was your dad’s first question to your boyfriend.

Harry glanced at you for a second before calmly responding to your dad, “Sir, uhh my album is about the changes I went through as a person an’ like how my experiences have helped me grow from who I was a few years back, those moments just happen to involve a person I was with during those times. But I asked your daughter’s permission before making this album and wouldn’t have gone forward with it if she was uncomfortable at any point during the entire process. I really respect her and wanna make sure she is as much a part of this journey as I am”.

You could swear you almost had a few tears in your eyes, even your dad’s glare softened, not that he would show it to Harry. Harry sat up straighter and maintained eye contact with your father. He seemed more confident than he had been ever since you told him about this meeting.

Your dad cleared his throat, “you do give a good monologue, just make sure to be an even better partner to my daughter; if she ever comes to me crying because you hurt her, not even your god would be able to save you from my wrath”, he puffed out his chest, wanting to seem a little threatening.

Harry didn’t seem a bit fazed and just replied with a “You’ll never have to worry about that sir, I’m in love with your daughter and would rather die before letting anything happen to her”.

It was at this moment that your mother announced dinner. 

The rest of the night went pretty smoothly. Your parents asked Harry about his hometown and family and his life as a musician, actually making an effort to get to know him, he in turn asked them about your childhood stories. 

After dinner, Harry helped your mother wash the dishes, while you stayed back with your dad. “Thanks, Papa, for giving Harry a chance. I know it wasn’t easy for you considering he’s not, y’ know from our background. I really appreciate it.”

Your dad gave you a tight hug “I love you, Beta and I always want what’s best for you, even if it’s a white boy. I can see he really loves you, it’s hard not to. Just be careful, his world is way different than ours. Don’t let him make you do things you are not comfortable with and don’t let him take away your voice”, you could just give him a nod. You saw a slight sheen in your dad’s eyes. He hardly got emotional and so to see him be vulnerable, made you want to cry. 

Following your talk with your dad, you gave Harry a quick tour of your house, swiftly avoiding the more embarrassing nooks of your room.

It wasn’t long before you left your house, spending another half hour at the front door saying good byes.

The ride back home was mostly quiet; the radio playing the top 20 hits filled in the calm silence. 

You didn’t realise when you had drifted to sleep, but the last thing you remember is Harry humming along to a song and a quiet whisper, most definitely not meant for you to hear, “I can’t wait to marry you”.

[actsforever]

The Beginning.

My spiritual journey has brought me here, typing up a whole speal about this process. Just call me “T” for now and this is my story. It started when my mom passed July 5th, 2018. Our relationship truly wasn’t the best at the time -- without going into too much detail, it was just a lot of health problems and trauma swirling around our family. I felt trapped, unstable and I was at rock bottom emotionally, physically and mentally - had been there for some time actually. 

I’ve always wanted to be one of those people who meditated and found some type of peace. Never knowing what I was searching for, I’d use apps on my phone like “headspace” or “calm” for something.. in search of something, maybe myself. Above anything, I really just wanted to change the way I was feeling and my own circumstances ( also perceptions ) about life. See, I lowkey have social anxiety because of things that repress and oppressed me as a child like stuff that would make any child feel worthless but I’m healing, everyday.

After so much conflict with my mother and within myself, I found myself sobbing while cleaning a lot.. crying myself to sleep thinking about our relationship -- how turbulent it was. Months went by, I couldn’t cope.. barely could sleep, barely wanted to be awake. I felt completely purposeless and then it happened.. My first spiritual awakening. I began meditating daily because I just wanted to feel something other than what I was feeling, not knowing the path I was going down was leading me here.

I began sharing information I’d acquire about all things and anything spiritual. Starting with Deepak Chopra’s “ 21 days of Meditation “ mantras and Davidji’s guided meditations -- I felt alive after feeling dead inside for years, I found a purpose, leading people out of darkness into the light. “ You do not manifest what you think, you manifest what you believe. “ I started to believe. In myself, in God, the Cosmos and in Divine Guidance. You start to think, maybe you aren’t so lost and alone after all. I thought I was moving in a great direction, loving myself more becoming my most authentic self -- then another tower. I lost a very important love relationship after 7 years and man, did it hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt setback in my process, felt confused about my own particular journey that I was on. 

This set me on a different level of self-awareness and spiritual awakening, it was time to be who I am, unapologetically. Although, it took me a while to endure losing my relationship -- it transformed me into who I am today, I’m forever grateful. I didn’t want it to be this lengthy but I’m new to this whole blogging thing at this point. I just want to share information, give people insight about me so you know.. I’m just as imperfect and we all go through things but together we can transform and transcend the energies to be able to heal the world.

Stay grounded, connected and protected. Namaste. Love & Light. - T