#i am not tagging them bc i am embarrassed
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This was supposed to be a quick practice thing bc I didn't think I would post it
But honestly, I'm too proud of this to not post it
Sketch below cut bc I liked that too
#this is for no one but me but i love this so its good#KoM is trans in my au bc i said so#please enjoy me simping over this deadbeat dad#i hope all old man enjoyers get their juice#the divorcing partycule#king of masks#character and campaign are @iamdaduckboi s creations#i am not tagging them bc i am embarrassed#of how hard i am simping#my art#sketchbook#clip studio paint#csp#digital illustration#dnd#dnd art#dungeons and dragons#transgender#transmasc#🪱
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shenanigans
#pizza tower#peppino#pepperman#the noise#gustavo#spicy hot#suggestive#ONLY A LITTLE#heehee i am FREE from my commission shackles. this is a threat AND warning#gonna post some of the ACTUALLY not sfw stuff soon i think; dont wanna make a twitter for it#they wont be in the main tags but ill put them behind some jokey joke meme pic and then a readmore#bc like even if u put a readmore to cover the images. when its recommended to others from a DIFFERENT post#the first image u used still pops up any way#and i dont want to put peptitties out for everyone to see LMAO#anyway#ive had this idea for ages; peppino getting stuck w pepperman on the their way to a gala#and pepperman is like do not worry my friend; i will simply call in a helicopter to come pick us up :)#and peppino is like WHAT?? dont do that !!!! its just a flat; i can fix that!#but i just now thought of adding the others lol i wanted an excuse to draw them w some fancy hair :)!#noise is like. um. theres no way I can sit here for 20 minutes and NOT embarrass myself. im going to find a rock to sit on#and not look at him#self imposed timeout and naughty shame corner#gustavos comment is from a tag i saw on a post that made me scream laugh#and pepperman watches intently bc that is his muse and he likes committing peppinos form to memory heehee
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i want to think that when Pearl gets older she's embarrassed by how she would ship people she knew when she was a kid and how she was basically trying to force them together (slight projection on my part)
full look at my take of a future Pearl design here!!
#i would also ship ppl i knew and would even tell them i did but at least wouldnt be forcing them together LMAO#i am still embarrassed abt it tho. but its why i find pearl endearing bc her thing w phoenix and maya im like.#sigh. yeah i was like that as a kid. i can't blame her for that.#aa time travel au#ace attorney#pearl fey#phoenix wright#susato mikotoba#ryunosuke naruhodo#apollo justice#athena cykes#artists on tumblr#id in alt text#please dont tag as a ship between ryunosuke and susato!!#lmao w this i wanted to emulate the feeling of when you go to a family reunion and older relatives would just tell each other embarrassing#stories of you when you were a kid right in front of you
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hi, a few years ago on artstation there was one of the artists who worked on starlink: battle for atlas named rundeep khaira and on his page he had renders and animations of the star fox team (and wolf o'donnell) that he had done
the looked like this
i am searching for any and all of them, i have quite a number of them already due to searching through old discord messages but i am not 100% sure i have all of them, especially the actual moving animations (idle animations, breaker pips, etc)
anything is greatly appreciated even if you think i might already have it 💃🎉
#i am so embarrassed and mad at myself for deleting them from my phone when i fell out of my star fox hyperfixation#in 2022/2023-ish#bc i would always just access the artstation acc and be like o they'll just be here!!!#LIKE GIRL NO THIS IS THE INTERNET PPL DELETE SHIT#wayback machine and trying to go back through cache don't work either btw :(#star fox#starlink: battle for atlas#rose rambles#starfox#<- i usually don't use starfox as one word to tag anymore but i wanna make sure this reaches folks ;_;
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What did you think of Leon and Ada's new relationship in the remakes? Meta wise
I think it's an interesting and more nuanced take on their relationship! Which I definitely like. I see no point in judging OG RE2's love story between them, no matter how cliché and nonsensical it is. It's a product of its time, and it's charming in its own cheesy way. Teenage me cried over Ada's death in there, so I do have a soft spot for it.
But the Remakes offer a fresh interpretation of what happened between them, and I'm definitely interested to see where they will take their relationship in the future (that is if they do, because I wouldn't mind them just having separate story arcs from now on).
If we're talking actual analysis, I'll put down my thoughts. I don't know if you can call it a full-on analysis per se, as it's more just me writing out my personal interpretations on things. So keep that in mind please!
Long post under the cut. I'm talking almost 4k words and way too many shitty gifs (I have no time to make them all polished). I have way too much to say. I'll basically be going over their entire relationship throughout RE2R and RE4R so... yeah.
RE2R and RE4R are two games that offer a full story for Leon's character, and that's a very awesome thing that Capcom has done. I'd even say it's one of the best things they've done with RE recently. Making RE4R feel like a direct continuation to Leon's arc in RE2R makes total sense, and it makes many scenes in RE4R that much more satisfying to play through.
While RE2R does end on a somewhat positive note (much like every RE game has to), Leon's arc in it is very much negative. He loses more than he gains, he's unable to save anyone, and his good intentions end up being used against him. Claire ends her RE2R story by saving a little girl she has come to care for. Leon ends his RE2R story by losing the G-sample, 'losing' Ada without getting much, if any, closure from her, and not saving even a single person he has encountered. Claire and Sherry don't really count in Remake-verse (which I kinda don't like) because their storylines mostly happened separately from each other.
And that's not mentioning that he gets (assumedly, and I am very much hoping we'll finally see more concrete scenes of how it all happened in Remake-verse) pretty much kidnapped and forced into a life he never wanted right after. To say that Leon can't get a break in RE2R is like saying nothing at all. Poor guy gets put through the wringer on every level.
Now, onto his relationship with Ada, and how it ties into everything... It should be said that, while he obviously grows to care about her throughout their short time spent together, he remains suspicious of her. RE2R Leon is naive, but I often feel like people make him too naive. He's not an idiot. He tries over and over again to get answers from her, and he clearly feels apprehensive with her. And I mean... that makes sense. While she does save him multiple times, she keeps her distance from him.
I'd say he starts opening up to her on an emotional level after witnessing Robert having to kill off his own daughter. He directly confronts her, demanding for answers and voicing his drive to do what's right. In a way, that's him showing his vulnerability to her. And Ada uses it against him. After all, it's a perfect opportunity to play on his (rather naive) determination to be the hero to help her achieve her own goals. Ada is also the only figure of 'authority' he has at the moment. Even if her claim of being FBI seems kinda off, she's the only one he has.
And I'll go over Ada and how I interpret her later. For now, just keep in mind that her using Leon is more of a gray area than just some horrible, disgusting thing. I'm just going over the events from Leon's viewpoint here.
So, they team up. Ada starts softening up to him. They share light banter with each other: 'A: After you. L: Gee, thanks.' She expresses concern over his safety (the alligator scene). I'd say that's the point where he starts to care for her on a more personal level from before. As you would.
Him taking a bullet for her was instinctual. I'd say it's a more pivotal moment for Ada's character here rather than Leon's. In Leon's case it's moreso her taking care of him right after that matters. He directly mentions it to her later on (at least I'm pretty sure his 'you protected me' referred to that). I'd say him waking up to find himself tucked in with her coat and his wound taken care of was the moment his 'I care because it's another person who's in this with me' turned into 'I care because I feel genuine attachment to this person'.
Was it romantic? I'd say that's left for you to interpret how you wish. I like to think of it as him just caring for her as a person. Leon is someone who cares very deeply for others, and he's always striving to be the protector to those around him. I kind of think that someone caring for him when he's weak and vulnerable is something that is very meaningful to him. Now, Ada saves him multiple times at that point. But that's the first instance of her arguably going beyond what's needed. Sure, taking care of his wound was necessary, although she could have just let him be as he was for all we know. But tucking him in on top of that? Yeah, that's an obvious 'I care' gesture.
From then on, Leon is following Ada because he wants to trust her. And I do want to ring this home. He wants to trust her. Doesn't mean he does trust her. Because even though he shows genuine care for her, it's clear that he knows she's might not be telling him everything.
He wants her to trust him, so that she'll tell him what she is keeping from him. So that he can trust her.
The kiss scene is a perfect representation of exactly that, I'd say. Honestly, I'll just link this analysis right here, because I pretty much interpret it in almost the exact same way. But I'll go over it in my own words as well.
Leon's growing frustration is in full display here. He turns around from her, he paces, he tries to appeal to her. To just trust him enough to be honest with him. It's clear that he knows Ada might not be telling everything, but he chooses to believe her regardless.
Hence the exchange that follows this:
Ada: 'Hey Leon, trust me?'
Leon, walking up to her: 'Trust me?' (Reversing her question)
Ada: 'Honestly, if I didn't, you'd probably be dead.' (A genuine answer as far as we know, but it's not one Leon wanted to hear, so he shakes his head, mutters 'Right.' and walks off.)
And I do feel like Ada knows that Leon is suspicious of her here. Her reaction once he walks off comes off as kind of panicky to me. She knows she might be losing him, and she can't have that. So, she once again appeals to what she knows is his weak spot. His drive to help others and 'save' the city. It does work. Somewhat. But he's still swaying, so she does the first thing she thinks of. She kisses him.
She, quite literally, cuts off his line of thought so he stops thinking about it. Because him thinking is dangerous for what she's really doing here.
I think it would be very disingenuous to say that that was a kiss of love or affection. It is not presented as such, nor is it addressed that way in all. It was Ada's last attempt at stopping Leon from questioning her any further. How much of it was her focusing on her goals, and how much of it was her effort to 'protect' him from potentially figuring out the truth, is left to your interpretation. But whatever intentions she had, good or bad, it was a kiss of manipulation.
It does shut Leon up, as he's visibly stunned. He doesn't even say anything at that. He just stares at her, then at her hand on his knee. Now, here's the tricky part of it all. Do I think Leon felt romantic affection/attraction to her here? On some level, I'd say yes. But it's definitely no 'love at first kiss' or anything like that. He's confused, mostly. While he spent arguably little time with Ada, it was a time full of meaning. Surviving side by side and protecting one another is no small feat. And Ada did show her care for him.
I think, he chooses to trust her in that moment, because he, once again, wants to believe in her. Even if her kiss felt out of nowhere, and so much of what she says (or rather doesn't say) makes no sense. He chooses to trust her because he wants to think that she's a good person who cares for him.
And so, we come to the pivotal bridge scene once he learns the truth. I do like how he confronts her in a blatantly emotional manner rather than logical. It's not so much about her being a mercenary itself, as it is about her using him and lying to him. That's what he's actually confronting her about, whether he realizes it or not. That's exactly why he tells her to shoot him, fully resolute as he holds her gaze. He wouldn't do that if he was just trying to apprehend a criminal like a good cop would (as he tries to present it at first).
But, he never gets that closure or resolution he was aiming for. Ada lowers her pistol. He breaths out shakily, probably wanting to continue talking, to figure this out. But he doesn't get that.
I do think Ada telling him to take care of himself as her 'last words' is a very painful thing for him. Because it leaves him with no actual closure on what happened between them. Ada chose to not harm him, and her last words to him are ones of selflessness. But she also lied to him and used his vulnerabilities to achieve her goals. And it's not like Leon knows anything about her occupation, and just how much she's involved with it on an emotional level. Maybe she's someone forced to do this against her will. Or maybe she enjoys doing such dirty jobs for all he knows.
That's the thing. Leon doesn't know. And that must be both frustrating and painful. He's basically left questioning all of his interactions with her, how much of it was genuine, whether she was honest with him at all.
And, most importantly, his time with Ada basically proves to him that his drive to protect and save, his willingness to give people the benefit of the doubt - is a flaw, and a weakness. It directly ties into his arc in RE4R. (And his relationship with Krauser, in a way, but I won't go over it here.)
He throws away her bracelet on the train, and I think that kind of shows that he chooses to believe in the pessimistic way of interpreting their time together. He throws it away because he doesn't want to hold on to something that reminds him of her. And, simultaneously, of his mistakes.
Now, let's go through the same events from Ada's POV, shall we? It's a bit more challenging, since we don't get to be in her shoes, but it's still a fun exercise.
Ada's initial interactions with Leon are ones of annoyance. She basically scolds him like a kid for always getting in danger and acts like saving him is a chore. But chooses to help him out regardless. I think it speaks of her humanity despite her line of work. It's an interesting dichotomy that follows her every single appearance pretty much, though not much is done with it (thanks Capcom). But yeah, despite her visible annoyance with him, she saves him time and time again.
She doesn't visibly soften up to him up until that same Robert scene. She's pretty observant from what we can tell, and she probably already had a good idea of Leon's righteous nature, but it's the first instance of her actively playing into it instead of making small snide comments about it ('Trying to save the world?' 'Good luck with that.'). That doesn't mean she doesn't care, though. It's subtle, but the little sighs and changes in her facial expression do show that she's at least a little bit conflicted at the prospect of lying to him on such a huge level (though you can't see most of it with her sunglasses).
It's one thing to say a passing lie about you being an FBI agent, and it's completely another to play the long game by using someone like that. But she needs to accomplish this task, and it already proved to be more difficult than she expected. Remember, Racoon City was Ada's first time dealing with anything of this sort, too. She might be a mercenary, but it's not like she had to deal with zombies and B.O.W's before that. She's out of her depth, and she has someone pretty much offering themselves to her as her assistance.
So, she takes the risk.
While she does join in some passing banter with Leon after that, she still keeps her distance. She's dry and mostly unemotional in her mannerisms. Remember how I said that Leon taking the bullet for her was more pivotal to her in the story? Let's go over that.
It would be disingenuous to say that Ada is a complex character, unfortunately. Most of the complexity she does have, we pretty much have to add on to ourselves. Hell, I'm doing it right now with this entire section! Capcom is doing a way better job with her in the Remakes, but she's still pretty flat as a character. Maybe this'll (hopefully) change in future installments. But for now, we work with what we have.
Either way, we do know that Ada is someone who's self-sufficient and chooses to work alone. She keeps her distance from everyone, and she lives by 'everyone for themselves' ideology. Basically, a total opposite of Leon's 'protector' role. All that to say... someone taking a bullet for her is definitely not something she would expect. On some level, specifically because she would never do that herself. Especially for someone she basically just met. But Leon risks his life for her. Furthermore, telling her to go ahead instead of anything else.
I think that's the moment Ada starts caring for him on a personal level. Maybe she feels like she should repay him for this. Or that she owes him a debt. Regardless, she takes care of him and tucks him in, before proceeding further.
That care only grows once they reunite. Now she's the one injured, and he takes care of her, despite her protests: 'I can do it myself'. Ada is self-sufficient, but Leon offers her his companionship time and time again. We don't know whether that's something she lacks in her life or not. We don't know enough of her as a character to say that. But she's obviously someone who's not used to getting help from others. Again, on some level, because she doesn't do that herself.
Remember, while Ada did save Leon numerous times before, she always acted visibly frustrated by it, like it was a chore she was forced into, despite her choosing to help him herself. Leon, on the other hand, is quick to offer and insist on helping out, very much eager to do that for her. She already made the choice to use him, but now she learns that he's a genuinely good person with a kind heart, and not just some stupid naive rookie.
And so, the kiss scene, again. I already said that her kiss feels like a last-ditch effort to stop Leon from questioning her any further. And I do think she acted on impulse. Thus why she follows up with a hand on his knee and the: 'I'm counting on you'. And I, personally, think she kind of regretted doing that right after. Or maybe felt extra conflicted about the whole ordeal as a whole. The way she slouches and sighs heavily once Leon leaves is very reminiscent of that. It's kind of a mix of 'Fuck, I messed that up, didn't I?' and 'What the hell am I going to do after this?'
It also should be noted that Ada never meant to tell Leon the truth. It would be convenient for both of them. Leon would feel like he did something good, and she would complete her mission with no further issues. Both sides win. But... things go haywire. And she's confronted with the consequences of her initial choice to use him.
It'll be silly to say that Ada doesn't care for Leon. If she truly was this heartless mercenary some would like her to be, she would shoot him on the spot. Her pistol being empty doesn't really matter, either. Leon was basically offering himself up to her, again. Even without any bullets on her hands, she could have easily knocked him out or something.
But, she can't bring herself to hurt him. Because Leon really is a good person that doesn't deserve that. And she knows that, and she cares for him on a personal level on top of it all. We don't know what she was going to do, before Annette shot her. Maybe I'm actually talking out of ass here, and she really was planning on knocking Leon out cold. But, we'll never truly know.
And her last words for him are to take care of himself. Because, in a way, Ada, more than anyone, knows just how selfless Leon is. On some level, it's a wordless 'I'm sorry', if you wish to interpret it that way.
Boy, was that a lengthy mess! Their first introduction to each sure was tumultuous. But we still have RE4R to go through! Though it'll be more about Ada than Leon.
Nevertheless, let's talk about Leon's interactions with Ada. I think we all know he's noticeably harsher and colder to her. It's an interesting change, and it does show that he feels resentment towards her for what happened in Racoon City. We don't know how his initial conflicted feelings morphed into this resentment, but they did.
I don't think nearly enough people mention that he's genuinely being very damn rough with her in their little sparring session. While yeah, you could make an argument that he's holding back, he's not being careful either. Ada has to put in actual effort to fight him off, which she doesn't even succeed in because he takes her off-guard with his intensity.
And he also puts the sharp end of his dagger to her throat. Just to rub more salt into the wound.
I don't think this was him wanting to hurt her or threaten her, though. It was more of a show of strength. Ada approaches him by taunting him and teasing him, like she can do whatever she wants to him. But he's not that same naive rookie anymore. And he shows her exactly that.
A kind of: 'Don't think you can play the same trick on me twice, or you might get burned' message. A message that I think Ada does get.
As for him smirking at her, I don't think that's him being 'happy' to see her or anything. I think that's just him being amused that she still thinks she can play him like that. He grows all cold and distant with her right after.
Leon obviously has a grudge that he hasn't let go of. I actually like how he's almost needlessly petty with her in RE4R. Making snide remarks, calling her heartless and dismissing her on numerous occasions. It shows that he does care. If he didn't, he would cooperate with her with no further complaints on his part. He's purposefully being cold to her to show that yes, he is still upset about what happened, and he will use every opportunity to demonstrate exactly that. It's petty and kind of childish, in a way. But it makes sense for him, and it adds extra flavor to their relationship at this point in time.
Though, he does offer an opening to her in the boat.
'Have you changed, Ada? Or are you trying to use me again?'
It's a good parallel to his: 'Trust me?' In RE2R, and both phrases are used for a similar purpose.
He gives Ada an opening to trust him and be open with him. One that she doesn't take, again: 'What do you think?'
She gives him no answer. Just like she didn't in RE2R. I think, in a way, that kind of gives Leon an answer by itself. He trusts Ada and relies on her when push comes to shove, but he doesn't give her any more openings from then on. I'd say that's his 'I think we both know this is where we go our separate ways' moment.
With Ada, things are way more complicated, in a good way. Separate Ways gave us so much to work with, and that's amazing.
Throughout Separate Ways, we see Ada bouncing back-and-forth on what she wants to do. She's initially very cold and resolute in her job, helping Leon out more like a passing convenience than anything else. She does still help him, though. She's still dealing with the dichotomy of what she presents herself as, and what she actually acts as.
I really like her confrontation with Luis in particular. She's cutthroat and blunt. Almost chillingly so. And she only relents once Luis mentions her own infection. Him telling her of Leon's infection has little effect.
'And why does that matter to me?'
I think that's a question she's asking herself just as much as Luis here. Though, she's still in her cold, self-sufficient mercenary role here. To be honest, I find her relationship with Luis in particular much more interesting in RE4R, but since we're talking about her and Leon here, I'll just say that Luis is the catalyst to her change (so to speak, Ada doesn't really change as a character per se, I'll elaborate on that later). Not Leon.
She confronts Leon face-to-face, quickly being met with the truth that he is not as easy for her to push around now. And I do think she has zero bad intentions there. She was genuinely just playing around and teasing him. Only to figure out that that approach won't work at all. It's kinda cute, honestly. So, she gives him an opening of her own instead. She tells him to leave Ashley, to prioritize his own safety over hers. Because that's what she would have done in his place. Leon is quick to shut that down. Something that Ada probably expected, as she just huffs and gives a knowing 'Right.' to that.
That's the moment Ada knows Leon hasn't changed. Not really. He might be colder, more ruthless and dangerous, but he's still that same guy, wanting to protect others, no matter what. She knows she'll have no success in swaying him at that point. Hence why she tells him exactly that on the boat later.
The next pivotal scene, I'd say, is her watching Ashley wake up and learn of Luis' death. Ada mostly treats Ashley like a nuisance, something Leon has to protect. Because that's his job. But in that moment, she sees the genuine connection they share with each other. She sees that Leon cares. And not just because Ashley is an innocent person he has to save, but because it's Ashley.
Ada's arc throughout Separate Ways is not that connected to Leon, which is a good thing. Similarly to Leon concluding his story from RE2R by saving Ashley and proving to himself (first and foremost) that he can protect someone he cares about, and that his humanity is a strength, not a weakness, Ada learns to accept herself, too. She's visibly conflicted at the start of SW, but by the end of it, she knows what she has to do, and she made peace with that. Her hesitating before going against Wesker in the facility is one of the last moments of her hesitating with her intentions.
But, again, that scene is more about her and Luis. Luis is very important to Ada's character in SW, and I think that's neat.
While the scene itself is kinda awkward, her encountering Ashley during the final battle is another arguably important one. Her watching Leon and Ashley before that was about her witnessing Leon's care for her. Now she sees that Ashley fully reciprocates that care. They are on equal ground with each other.
And so, the final scene between them. I already said that Leon settled on his answer concerning Ada before that. But Ada makes one final opening to him. It's a selfish one. After all, what exactly would happen if Leon agreed to come with? Would they just leave Ashley to die and fly off into the sunset? On some level, I think Ada knows that what she's asking is unrealistic, especially for Leon. But I think it also speaks of her progression throughout Separate Ways. Ada learns to be more genuine with herself, even if it means being selfish or asking something that she knows will be rejected.
So, she shoots her shot one last time. Leon gives his answer. Ada is not surprised by it. But she is visibly upset by it. She knew it was coming, though.
So, they do exactly that. They go their separate ways. At least for now.
#resident evil#resident evil 2 remake#resident evil 4 remake#leon s kennedy#leon kennedy#ada wong#aeon#DO I TAG AEON IN THIS BC IT'S NOT REALLY A SHIPPING POST????#i mean i did talk about them smooching so i guess....#for the record#i am fully aware i am adding way more depth than there really is#but hey#it's fun#i spent way too long on this it's embarrassing 💀💀💀
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[song]
#jjk#my edit#song is la ciruela by nico play#also the volume is fine for me but ??? idk might be too loud. idk how it works on different devices ): thats ur warning tho#i am NOT a video editor. just a girl with internet access and a dream.#i just wanted this part of the song over clips of them ok im sorry#alsooo i just used the translated lyrics from the official lyric video bc idk spanish so. i assume theyre accurate lol#im too embarrassed to post it in too many tags tho so im just using my own asdfghjkl#ok im gonna disappear now BYE
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RvB ocs range from npc absolutely no one in canon ever interacts with directly but they’re present and dealing with canon shenanigans to the most bizarre in your face, canon breaking, blue team levels of alien and/or ai fuckery and both brands of this are equally important and beloved and i love that for us
#rvb#im v sleepy but im thinking about it is all#calling myself out w this btw 🥰✨#tried to keep it vague so its hashtag relatable for other ppl bc its a mood but i am holding up my two brands of rvb ocs and laughing#i might be able to share the clovers without getting gut wretchingly embarrassed bc their brand of goofy op is reasonable with rvb confines#hawthorne is fucking not#this does not stop me from rotating haw at mach 5 in my head tho#andways tag w ur rvb ocs i wanna hear about them 🫣#if u wanna
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quick headcanon dump for a modern!sotcn. no plot just vibes.
eva, dia, and rame all just graduated from law school and have landed in an accelerated (and most importantly, COMPETITIVE) graduate program at a firm.
remmao is their "of counsel" and is in charge of looking after them. he's doing a good job but he lowkey can't fucking stand them they're all so annoying and competitive. it's great for the future of the company. NOT for him tho.
i also like to imagine this place is really good and they get away with a lot of shady shit.
isman is straight out of med school doing his residency with livius as his attending. they're either in internal med or surgery i haven't decided yet.
amen is a well decorated police officer. agnia and set work as a private detective. they all cross paths with the law firm they all work at.
amen despises it when this firm is involved in his cases because he knows they're full of shady business.
agnia dgaf because she's actually their go-to dude for questionable investigating. set's her right hand man. the brawn to her brains. he's mostly here for the cheque.
#pulling these Out My Ass instead of studying el oh el!#modern au bc like i said!!! these divas should have been at the club!!!#i really like these characters i need them Out Of That Plot!!#i also need isman alive!!!#not to sound like an amen apologist but in this au he actually has a strong moral compass for justice don't hate me#(shady lawyers imprisoned his parents. one of them died in jail bc of corruption)#but like also he's a cop.... so..#self indulgent and im enjoying myself but this is not going in the rc tags i am embarrassed#modern!sotcn
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u know im back on my bullshit
#octopath traveler ii#octopath traveler 2#satsuhart#temehika#hikari ku#temenos mistral#i thought long and hard about whether temenos is a catboy or a dogboy (hound)#and in the end i decided on arctic fox.#i have.... thoughts but theyre all spoilery thoughts like no literally no one can talk about why they like them without mentioning spoilers#ive been seeing it happen on twt for like the past 2 weeks#but anyway (spoiler) (spoiler) just trust me dude. theyre a good ship#it has nothing to do with the fact that ive liked mage warrior ships for the past 5 years. shut up#also i bought csp v2 and the shading assist... she popped off a little w that one ngl#but im still very angry about csp's terrible autosave function#like fun fact that first pic? i dont have it in .clip format anymore LOL#it also deleted the little pic i made about my ship taste but i didnt know and i deleted that tweet bc i was embarrassed#i mean it isnt a big loss i can remake it anytime but like. shaking fist at csp autosave function#tags are really quite dangerous im not even sure if theres a limit? ill stop here tho gn... i am working on a temehika fic 👍#octo2
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not me, in the year 2024, seeing potential tiva content teased on my timeline
#every time I think I’ve outgrown them I’m proven wrong#but also why am I so nostalgic???#like aww they were my first real obsession which is funny bc 11 year old me had absolutely no business being that obsessed with this show#but hey#before I even had a tumblr I used to google the NCIS tag and go through it on my literal iPod touch#and now I’m an adult and they’re still making me feel things when they’re not even on screen????#just the thought of potentially seeing them is doing it???#embarrassing for me truly#NCIS#tiva#anyway someone better tell me if anything comes from this bc the clown makeup is in fact on#tony dinozzo#Ziva David
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#im in my not talking to people abt my feelings era again bc even im annoyed of my complaining but#good god i am so fed up bro#ik it's only been a few dyas w my antidepressants but i rlly want them to be doing more than they are#and maybe ill be thriving in like a week or two but im juat rlly depressed rn#i feel like i try so hard to be happy#i fill my.room w decorations my younger self would have gone nuts for and i buy gifts for the peoplei care abt#i do facemasks to try to self care and talled abt my feelings and i went to a psychiatriat and i feel the same as always#i feel like im gonna be atuck the way that i feel forever no matter what i do#and i have to be up for work in 7 hrs and its a shift i hate#idk i just cant fucking believe all the work ive put in and changes over the years and im still just as hopelessly depressed as i was at 15#im gonma go watch a vod u til i can seleep and then be embarrassed at venting in tumblr tags on a blog yhat i only talk to 2 people on in#the morning 😐
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the way i think about my stories can be so annoying bc there will be a point when i reach a certain story beat after which i dont know how to continue, and the way i do find are usually ... not good .. or i imagine it is not so i think man i cant do that thats so dumb and annoying i gotta think of something better, but then i cant come up with anything better bc once i got a solution to soemthign i cant think of anything smarter- and then i get bored of it as a whole bc man, this really was stupid from the start wasnt it
(this is all some stupid rambling and does NOT represent anythign that will happen in destiny, i swear the actual story with a proper end makes much more sense)
listen to me rambling but this morning i thought about the essentialyl non-canon good "ending" of destiny, a kind of self indulgent dumb lil alternative where everyone lives blah blah, but then of course it cant just end there, bc the end goal of the both of them is to find out the gods plan and secrets and also kill the gods, as you do, then i got a certain point that i found cool (which initially came from the whole thoguht of what if zelda game but you could play demise and it took place after the alternative ending in which the goal is to get rid of the gods) where the fight one of the gods but are kinda losing and as the god is trying to devour demise, as gods do, he abandons his body and his spirit/core, who cant exist without his body so hes still connected through the spirits tail , and climbs through the gods interdimensional weird 'mouth' while its trying to rip him apart to reach the core of the god in a last attempt to take them down with him, while hylia is fighting to keep the god from severing the thin connection he still has to his body but fails just as he reaches the core so the god is killed but his core is immediatelly starting to dissolve and hylia manages to grab his core and put it back into his body and flee from whatever is happeing to that dead god back into hyrule
he survives but is incredibly weak as his spirit has lost half of itself (blade spirits are also forged throguh sacrificing part of their spirit/core permantently but this is besides the point, none of this makes sense anyway), something he obviously hates but cant do anything about really, once a part of their core is gone its gone (not like lost energy but gone gone) but the core is also slowly dissolving further which is a death sentence with no way to act against- then theres a whole quest to .. well, stop that, while hes falling back into self hatred and fear bc hes now so weak that hylia can break his bones without any effort if she were to treat him in any way similar to before and to a deity that all their life was never so fragile, one whos most defining feature IS his power and strength to keep going no matter what, thats gotta be pretty existentially dreadful (and also its a set back to know that they cant just go fight the gods together like that, theres still two more and he cant fight like that)
then i wondered ok what if then, even if the time doesnt quite line up but at this point the entire prophecy cant be done anymore either so everythings out of order, the cloud barrier weakens and zelda is abducted (not by ghirahim) and link goes and tries to find her, but since everythigns not as it should have been he meets hylia and demise (disguised tho) and they immediately know who he is and then go along and try to help link find his friend (hylia does it bc she got the idea to make him find the triforce and wish demises spirit to be restored, since only a mortal can do that and links the most likely candidate to be able to go through the trials of it since he was supposed to already, even if the circumstances are different- demise goes along with it bc hes still trying to deal with essentially slowly dying and not knowing what to do with himself since hes afraid to get into fights or similar, much to his disdain, so hes acting like a companion of sorts, a mentor figure in a way, not knowing what hylias plan is)
i found the idea kinda interesting to have them be like a lil group that goes on links adventured with him, but with strangely intricate knowledge of how the dungeons work, link still doing the heavy lifting but them being there like parents cheering on their kid in a competetion, all the while putting the whole puzzle and dungeon aspect in a way different light bc half of them were never completed (they wanted to escape the prophecy after all) so they all work completely differently, some bosses being maybe some of the gods creatures instead (like the skysw guardians)- the mid journey point being that they find zelda, and who kidnapped her, it being one of the shiekah having most closely worked with hylia before the whole -break the prophecy- thing started (idk if it would be impa .. idea is neat) and is hellbent on making the gods plan work out like it was supposed to, kinda like the inverse of the games plot, so they got ahold of zelda as part of making her into the new hylia (despite hylia being .. right there, but they dont believe it is her truly since the true tm hylia would never betray the gods- ALSO a paralel to how the downfall of demises world worked bc his mortals turned on him after he started destroying their version of the triforce in the belief destroying it would be the only way to save mortals from going to war agaisnt each other for it over and over, mortals believing that their true deity was gone and replaced by a demon despite demise being ..right there)
after link wins the fight and frees zelda from them they in a kind of last effort to do anything against their group they stab demise, normally that wouldnt do shit against him but in his already fading away situation it basically puts him from very slowly dying to actually dying, as a reaction to it hylia kills the mortal (maybe impa idk), which is the first time she does anything like that to a mortal but i like the idea of her being actually super ruthless when it comes to things she cares about
now with a much more dire time limit hylia sends demise back to essentialyl go hide in her temple and try to not die and to trust her having a plan to make this all still work out- he does and once he is away she reveals pretyt much the entire story around why and what is happenign to link and zelda, hylia herself cant go above the clouds as the barrier is still partially up and she cant do anything to reach the triforce either - so she sends link and zelda to go do that, and it works out in the end bc even knowing the truth know, demise was with them on half of their journey so they know and care, he WILL be mad about them wasting their wish on him (even if he is still happy to be alive- i imagined scene where hes watching himself fall apart and die, alone in hylias temple, having to come to terms with the fact that after everything they had went through hed still die alone- it made me cry while thinking about it, yes, yes you are allowed to laugh)
i didnt get that much further but his spirit was essentially reset to when he was in his prime back in the day through the triforces power- something he both likes and despises, it being the gods power of all things that lets him live again, but also lol to use it agaisnt them by giving another chance to the gods greatest enemy- the next plan is of course to kill the next one of the gods but much better prepared, as they cant just go and do the same thign again (neither wants that), one idea was that hylia goes on a secret quest to try and bring back courage (the third deity that demise killed when his world was still thriving) but it involves diving back into the realm of the gods so she doesnt tell him at first, i do think theyd go together in the end, not to fight but to release courage; the whole thing is also an elaborate revenge plot of hylia, how dare the gods do that to him!!
anyway thats most of what i got from that thinking session but its so frustrating bc none of this is even in the actual comic (since it ends in a way that leads into canon skysw, this is some brain fart nooo i want blorbo to live and succeed!!) and its also convoluted and kinda dumb, the idea to inverse the games plot in a way (instead of it being ghirahim trying to bring demise back its someones plan to make the gods prophecy happen no matter what) is neat but i cant have demise almost dying be the thing THREE TIMES, it kinda undercuts his character and is way too much centered around him, all three times also more or less involving it needing help from others to get him back, when his whole thing should be being unkillable bc he jsut keeps refusing to die, also hylia is, as of now in this spaghetti derailment of random thoughts, way too much of a side character, which i dont like, and it all would make people not like demise when im trying to do the exact opposite of that in the main actual comic
i know being super self indulgent and jsut doing what you want is good for the most part but theres a point where it becomes stale cringy fantasies about my blorbo tm and i wanna write at least decent stories- in the end none of this matters anyway as the actual REAL story of destiny is already pretty long and i got no plan to write that alternative 'good ending' anyway and i mostly just thought about it bc "i dont want blorbo to die :(" and "wouldnt it be fun if the entire plot of the game would get messed up and now demise link hylia and zelda etc can all just drink tea together and make plans to get rid of the gods that wanted them all to suffer needlessly"
i probably shouldnt post this as it was really only a vent to get out dumb thoughts from my brain before they poison me into losing interest of the biggest comic project i have worked on so far but i am unable to keep these things to myself so
if you read all of this, im sorry (´。_。`)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#dare i tag it as that#long post#dont read unless you want to cringe#and yes i know even bad art and stories have value#and i know im not as bad as i always think#but this really is the kind of stuff that makes me embarrassed to even be able to think#its all shortened and badly written#but some scenes i got so clearly in my head its like a movie#and those scenes make my brain go wooooooooooooooooo even if they make no sense and i cant fit them together properly#uh oh self doubt#sorry im neither a professional artist nor writer#im autistic with a blorbo and one skill that i only have bc i didnt know what to do with my brains rapid train of thoughts other than draw#big time for “oh no i made people think i am better than i actually am- i am a liar and a cheater oh god” kind of thoughts#the want to just do whatever you want VS wanting to make soemthing of value VS not wanting to embarrass yourself
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i submitted my lovely mouseboy Finnegan for the @ahatintime-oc-competition yesterday :D here is the art i drew 4 them!
for those unaware: he came from a dream i had once involving him and Snatcher But As A Bird; and i sorta just. added onto them from there. they're so sillay
#a hat in time oc#potatart#ahit#(just for the art tag....sorry :#Finnegan Snowshoe#get propergandered. i will conjure up more art of them soon i think#very vivid image in my mind of what their personality is like but its rlly hard to describe#...........#ok quickly avert ur eyes i am going to say something that is embarrassing to me#oc competitions make me nervous and it is because i think last time i did one it went Badly#like idc about the losing part i thought that was really funny but i just felt like everyone.hated me :#i know thats not true and its the brain poison talking but#i remember somebody skimmed thru my account and saw that i was hyperfixated on south park at the time and#uswd that as a reason to not vote for my character#which was one of those things that made me so so nervous that i felt Physically Ill and it ruined like my whole day#confidence is key. i think. so i am grabbing myself by the shoulders and going “YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE FUN!!!!”#sorry for the very Personalness that just jappened here. its okay thought bc i trust everuone averyed their eyes to my sad ramblings#besides i like finnegan :] and i trust most ppl to not Kill me Dead#anyways. ignore ignore ignore FINNECHER NUMERO UNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THIS IS A LITTLE SOMETHING I LIKE TO CALL: PUTTING TOO MUCH EFFORT INTO THINGS
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hey guys ik i’m posting this early so probably not a lot of people will see this but i’m reevaluating some things in my life and i think i’m going to mostly use queer rather than lesbian as a label/identifier for my sexuality. i am most certainly attracted to women but there’s some other things that i’m still figuring out and discovering about myself. ik i’m not obligated to update anyone about this but i love y’all and just thought y’all should know <3
#i think i confused being deeply afraid of men bc of ✨trauma✨with not being attracted to them#but idk#i’m young and figuring things out!!#am i a little embarrassed bc i JUST came out as a lesbian??? yes#BUT that’s okay!! that label felt good and right at the time and my sexuality is whatever i say it is!!#also sorry if you’re reading all these tags i’m being silly today ig
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Being aromantic and finding that out in ur 20s is soooooooo funny bc I met the 3 people I consider my soulmates (one of whom is now my qpp) in october of 2016, and both before and after this i dated a few people but as i grew closer and closer w this group and also came into my gender and sexuality over the yrs, id sometimes wonder why i didnt crave romantic fulfillment anymore, and not fantasize about having a long term bf or anything. It didn't really worry me? Like, I wasn't concerned about it, but I would go like huh wonder what's up w that. Oh well not my problem!, every now and then
And then thru making friends w a bunch of arospec folks I was finally like oohhhhhhhh it's because my emotional fulfillment needs are already met and these people and our friendship is an intrinsic part of my being and i love them more than i can ever hope to describe. Got it!
#and z speaks#its not like i didnt know what aromanticism was! i even id'd as ace for awhile! im not anymore but i was on those fringes right#and its bc im aro in the weirdest way possible#bc i loveeee love and romance and i enjoy dating! sort of!#im one of those ppl that skips right to the old marroed couple phase bc i Hate the casual small talk phase#and i get crushes on my friends a lot bc i have so much love in my heart to give#its just not like. romantic!#if youve read the scholomance trilogy just look at el. thats me#we're aro in the same way#ANYWAY im just thinking about non traditional love and affection and how id let my friend silver do martial arts on me if they werent at the#other end of the state#and how in love i am w my qpp. and my embarrassing crush on [REDACTED bc i KNOW nos js gonna see this. no one can know] is#the worst part about that crush is its probably like glaringly obvious to them and i dont care That much bc having crushes is fun#i dont intend to act on it im just vibing#but the thought. that they might know. little mortifying#if u read all of these tags ur owed financial compensation
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i honestly love the petals name. But because you call us requesters ‘pollen’ and ‘honey’ idk if we should be called the bees.. (as in we help get you working/writing?) or the petals.. (as in we're the roots of what you write maybe? No idea ehe)
tbh; just stick to whatever you like the most!! Tho I like being called a petal for my personal opinion
-🫚anon
I was talking to @cupiddoves about this a while ago and I'm still unsure of what to call you guys atp but I'm imagining I'm talking to myself while everyone thinks I'm crazy, as you guys are like helping me and then each post makes you all in like a body until the post request is done and you become bees/petals)whatever again and the characters have no memory of it whatsoever but remembers it very faintly (edit That DOES NOT make sense to me but like ok so they remember not all of it but it's like, when you hear a name or something like that you get nostalgic feelings about it)
Anyways teeehee😁
(please god help m-)
Make sure to read my tags ...... BC I add words to them as well ☹️ (unless your Sirius/cupiddoves... Then don't rea-)
🫚 anon you can send more asks if you want I'm still writing the first bits I don't care how many you send I'll get them done whenever i am done with the first(I WRITE A LOT.....) I don't mind whatever you send, I already know your preference, you don't like angst and I understand that👍🏼👍🏼
#aaaaaaaaaaaa hey its jude or bee#stardew valley#art#harvey stardew valley#stardew valley harvey#harvey sdv#stardew harvey#harvey stardew x male reader#sdve#sdv#stardew farmer#stardew sebastian#art asks#asks#ask reply#asks open#reqs open#sdv harvey#sdv sebastian#my petals and bees#judes little bees#judes lovely petals#anon ask#HIII 🫚 ANON!!#i see your request for THE FUCKING WIZARD. THE WIZARD .. (I would've loved harvey too.... BHT THE WIZARD?? Its ok I get jt)#But like my thought on that specific req...Like.. I knew what i could've done with harvey..BUT THE WIZARD.. shiii- you are into them older.#i got you though jts ok I just need some time to finish the first ask you send and tjen the actual first ask i ever got from spooky-bunnys#theure so lovely omg but yeha i got you bro!!!#dont eber feel shy or embarrassed to write wjat yoy wanna read!! i can do it for ylu!! besides i finished my resume i got the time now!!#if youre my beloved sirius seeing this .. you probably are bc i tagged you... ermmm.. hello🤗🤗 i am so nice to them dont worry
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