#i am not original enough to care if my design is basic :p

[tesspool]

[tiredassmage]

Ackshulluy, I was going to tuck this all away in a google doc, but, y’know what, let’s talk into the void for once. My funny little personal relief/side project of ‘force sensitive/Jedi siblings au for Tyr & Rhiannon’ is fleshing out into a bit of a whole legacy thing already and I’ve had them for maybe 3 days. Maybe 4. I have already lost count.

So, here’s the basic tea on how this is shaking out.

Tyr & Rhiannon both end up as Jedi Knights. I briefly contemplated letting Rhiannon take the Consular role in this AU, but, tbh, Tyr & Rhiannon really don’t have quite the grasp on emotional stability as they’d like. That being said, Tyr takes the role of canonical JK/Hero of Tython in this role bc he is My Bestest Baby Boy. Also, he’s got a “name change” aka what I’m now accepting was his name originally pre-Empire in regular canon, and that is Rhystyl.

He really, really, honestly could have benefited a lot from remaining a padawan longer. While he wasn’t on Coruscant for the sacking, he’s old enough to have a memory of it, and Imperial attacks on their home when him and Rhiannon were younger still have him anxious at the best of times about splitting up forces. It’s never that he doesn’t entirely trust Orgus, but he does really, really wish the man would talk to him a little maybe a lot more than he actually does. He’s a bit... opinionated about the whole ‘let’s not tell the Jedi about the secret Republic weapons projects’ thing. He continues to not favor being left in the dark about half of the missions following (and then some.) Orgus wants him to build confidence and Rhystyl is John Travolta-ing wondering why anyone thought it was a good idea to take his training wheels off so soon. (Spoiler alert: it bites everyone in the ass)

I am plotting a silly little friendship between him, the Sith Warrior/Emperor’s Wrath, and Sith Inquisitor/Darth Imperius which will involve them doing a lot of datacron hunting because honestly if I’m going to put up with jumping puzzles, why not turn it into a story beat? This relates more than Rhystyl will admit to his insecurities and his need to do better (especially after the whole Emperor debacle), and yet-unnamed Imperius is a bit of a history nerd anyway by occupation. SW gets dragged into all of this bc he’s Imperius’s bestie, tbh, and like. Somebody has to look out for them. Also probably LS Sith related things but like shhh don’t tell the rest of the Empire. Jaesa and SW and Imperius and Hero of Tython all sitting in a circle and trading woes about force knowledge. I’m manifesting it.

Imperius and SW (currently named Jekaanto, he’s p cool) may(?) have some history as it. I’m spitballing that one of Jekaanto’s parents, at least, was quite interested in travel, so he spent a lot of his youth tagging along with them as they studied artifacts and cultures in the systems the Empire had influence over. Imperius may have served the family when their force sensitivity manifested, so their friendship may have already existed there in their youth.

He is something like the exhausted dad of this little friend group even though they’re all around the same age. Not because he doesn’t care for them or that they are particularly danger-prone (no more than... would be expected between the two of them, given the stories), but because he has self-designated himself as the friend group dad and that means their safety is his priority and have you seen the trauma on the Hero of Tython? Someone give this Jedi a vacation and some hugs. Maybe some blankets. Imperius seems to care for him a lot. (Will this develop into something more than a friendship? Jekaanto has to constantly break up betting pools between Vette and Doc.)

I have low-key wanted a Sith focused on being a beastmaster and the study of beasts for a While now so I might also make this Jekaanto’s problem.

And I planned exactly none of this when I said “hehehe what if I start another legacy on Satele Shan” and like honestly, honks my clown nose because why didn’t I see that coming. I should have expected that they’d all take over again.

[silversupremacy]

Can you do leafy or clover headcanons please :)

I can do both

Leafy Sexuality Headcanon: I could see her as bi but with a preference for men Gender Headcanon: Girl with a question mark sound. I don't wanna label her a cis girl but like I don't really have a solid gender concept for her :0 certainly fem leaning but like maybe a demi-girl? A ship I have with said character: I am not too fussed abt shipping w/ leafy. I guess I can say I don't mind Fiery x Leafy cause it's p popular, but I'm really not super into any Leafy ships. Leafy x Pin is cute, I think I saw that before? A BROTP I have with said character: Man, honestly Leafy is a chara I struggle on just cause- she wasn't in bfb much due to getting out early and then when I watched the original bfdi I jsut was struggling through it so I paid no attention to character interactions. But! I do like art with fiery and leafy interacting and hanging out. Like sure its ship art most of the time, but idk, I just like them hanging out. A NOTP I have with said character: Not fussed abt notps for leafy :0 Can't think of anyone I'd actively not want to see with her. A random headcanon: I like making her like, a little leaf bug crossed w/ a kangaroo for my creature design xD And she can just spring away so far, jsut, nyoom. General Opinion over said character: I wiiiiish I could see what everyone sees in her, I wish I found bfdi as a kid before I had highe opinions on animation and writing; But since bfb was my first watch of the bfdi universe, and leafy got out early, I jsut was so confused abt her character? Like ok, she puts up a facade of being nice and she really tries to people please, but then when she comes back later she- just seems different? Like she just turned it down a number of notches. But like, why, what changed in the EXIT that made her more chill. I really do want to like her!! But I just don't really have a solid view on what her character is and it kinda confuses me. Clover Sexuality Headcanon: She likes girls, I struggle to see her with a guy or a generally masc person for some reason Gender Headcanon: Feminine for sure, but I don't think she would care too much abt gender. Maybe she would experiment with some pronouns like bun/bunself or a butterfly type neopronoun. A ship I have with said character: I actually think Clover x TBD is kinda cute just cause cute charas, but I'm not too big on Clover ships? I think she would be neat with a lot of the s2 gals tho :0 A BROTP I have with said character: Her and Nickel's dynamic is fun, I wish we could see Nickel warm up to her cause I like them w/ a sort of sibling style dynamic with Clover being a kind of older sister figure. Would like to see her interact with people like Soap or Salt or Pepper, just curious how that would go. Heck, I think she could take over the world if she met Taco and was convinced, buuuut then she'd see a butterfly and be like Oh ok time to do some wandering :) and jsut leave. A NOTP I have with said character: I hesitantly say shipping her with Nickel; thanks to a youtube map I watched I prefer them as sibling dynamic. So not so much a notp as much as just I would kinda squirm if I saw it but could probably be convinced I guess? A random headcanon: She randomly wanders away from contestant grounds during off time and will just turn up in a town like 50 miles away after 1 hour and no one knows how she got there. She always manages to get back tho. General Opinion over said character: Oooh she's so cute and she's very funny. Her exit interview was probably my fav peak into her character cause she was kinda backhanded? She's like "If I really had my luck I wouldn't be talking to you :) " Like she basically said Pls frick off to her interviewer but in a nice way. I jsut think we didn't see enough of that character side of her in the show. Really wish we could get more Clover content! I'm hoping that ii does something post season 3 like the comics but w/ s3 characters in hotel oj too, just cause I want that interaction content so bad.

[erinhime83]

Since APPARENTLY I did the designs all wrong (I won’t lie - doing  my own design of Evangelia was sort of a thinly veiled attempted to get @callistochan87 to redesign her herself.  >.>), I figured I’d make it my life mission this week to go through and, like, fix them.  Partially because in my fuming about finding out that two of the people were talking about this behind my back, I kept giving myself ideas.  >.<

I am pleasantly pleased with the design that @callistochan87 did for Evania/Evangelia, although I’m worried how much is actually influenced by my design and how much she actually decided to do on her own.  *shrug*  I just like the simplicity of it and how it does make her look like a goddess.  I kept forgetting to add in the pieces in front of her ears, lol.

Antigonus I did fiddle with a little bit.  Mostly, @callistochan87 mentioned that she thought it was funny having this super old guy traveling with a bunch of teenagers, and she wondered why I didn’t just...make someone new.  Well, mostly because I didn’t want to, and mostly because when she did create someone new when I decided the Guides were supposed to be younger, it felt...wrong. 

SO, I decided to age him down a little.  Which I suppose sort of defeats the purpose of @callistochan87 creating another character when I wanted to do the same, but ignore that.  He basically has the same backstory - he was the youngest Guide of the previous generation.  He’s the heir of the empire, being the Emperor’s nephew, and now that his Guide duties are over, he’s preparing to take over the Empire.  EXCEPT, the idiot new Guide managed to get himself killed, so Antigonus is temporarily taking over the duties as they try to find someone else to take over.  BUT THEN GUESS WHAT?  He’s about 35, so while he’s old, he’s not stupidly older than than, and is sort of more of a chaperone than anything else.

His outfit come from an old one @callistochan87 designed, and I figure it’s just, like, a traveling outfit?  idk

Freyja...omg, Freyja.  She caused most of my strife.  Like, I honestly didn’t change THAT MUCH of her design, just sort of little piddly stuff to make it look more visually appealing, but APPARENTLY, that was still bad.  I stewed and hemmed and hawed on this for quite a while, annoyed before it hit me - this is a a redesign.  Shizuka sort of went back to her roots.  Why couldn’t Freyja as well?

(And yes, I realize I was in the wrong, but like I said, I hadn’t changed her that much from her last design, and, well, these were done years ago so I sort of...forgot that she didn’t originally look like that.  >.<)

And I figured, ya know, since I had minorly changed Freyja and she didn’t like that, I had better change Desiree, too, because I drastically changed her.  I don’t care what @swankifiedcos says about this one, I am IN LOVE with her outfit.  <3  Her hair, though, was inspired by a recent picture of @swankifiedcos of her hair between dye jobs where it was pink at the tips and she looked SO PRETTY.  Sure, Desiree is brunette, not blond, but I like that look on her so much I wanted to recreate it somewhat, and she looks so nice! 

Frejya, well, I did sort of tweek her design slightly to what @callistochan87 did, mostly giving her cold shoulder sleeves as a sort of call back to her old sleeves.  I won’t lie - I did attempt to do them again and failed spectacularly.  Sorry.  But apparently she approves of this sleeve, so that’s...one less problem for me to deal with.  XD   Just so you know, I gave her hearts rather than flowers merely because I can’t draw flowers.  Consider it a style thing.  Like, in reality, she has flowers, but i just draw them as hearts.  I am SHOCKED that I was able to make the feathers as nice as I did, though!  This look makes SO MUCH more sense than the way we used to draw it.  Me likely. 

(Also, you might be thinking that she’s still wearing the pants.  I originally indended that, with the thought that she comes from a cold kindgom, but then decided they’re actually shorts that she ended up added to her outfit for modesty sake, much like Sethos did with his shirt.  :P)

I really wanted to redo Nannin’s outfit as well, but I’m sorry - I’m lazy, and her original outfit is both too detailed and too simple.  So I just made her top layer a darker pink, and I like it better.  Also made her a blond again with the idea that the people of Melohdia like like normal ass humans, and the Chosen have colored hair, and the Guides have unnatural colored eyes, which is how people can tell they’re Guides.

Geoffrey (I’m thinking of renaming him Geauffery, because that’s how I prenounce it in my head) over there gets a new design as well because I didn’t care for his other one.  >.<  Also, decided, as much as I like the name Dimitri Kaminiski, I;m going to go ahead and make him Owen again.  Mostly because he’s sort of shifted more into being Owen.  I was sort of going with this old look while making it look a little more medieval, and I like it.  I also decided he’s not a soothsayer, but rather a magician.mage.

Which is sort of similar to Evangelia’s power, but not quite.  She uses the power of miracles, whereas he uses actual magic.  Its sort of like how Shizuka and Freyja’s power is similar, but Frejya’s is a little weaker.  (Shizuka has mastery over all weapons, whereas Freyja just has mastery over bludgeoning people with a huge ass axe.  But she has the benefit of also having  magic, whereas Shizuka can just use some fire magic.)

The next design is where it get all long and involved.  Basically as I was stewing about having my feelings hurt and how I was going to hide everything in my annoyance, I THINK I was briefly reminded of the last time I screwed up and within that instance a brilliant idea came to me, mostly because I needed more villains.  

I remember I really like Astrid’s design, but looking back, I’m sort of confused as to why?  It doesn’t look at all better than Freyja’s.  >.<  Anyway, the thought is simple - when the Chosen are originally yanked into Melohdia, Nuncio replaces one of them with one of his own that would be easily manipulated.  Why Freyja, you ask?  Plot reasons, since it does help explain the whole Nannin thing a lot better.  The thing is, though, that Ariadne and Atalo sort of find out and drag Freyja in as well, except she ends up in Baldernan rather than Azibo with the rest of the Chosen.

So the Chosen are in Azibo thinking Astrid is one of them, except they don’t really vibe with her that well.  They just figure it’s because they can’t like everyone, and ignore it.  Astrid herself doesn’t really suspect anything.  But then they travel to Baldurnan and find Freyja there, who they do vibe with very well, and they find out that Astrid is a fake. 

Which would be all fine and well.  Even Freyja’s willing to give the girl a chance because, hey, it’s not her fault she was falsely brought into this world with no purpose.  Except Astrid is a spoiled bitch and takes it as an affront that they would even want to include Freyja at all.  So she just sort of runs off and Nuncio catches up to her, and convinces her that she’s the real one, and and she goes around antagonizing the group from time to time.  They think she’s in league with Atalo at first until they find out of the truth.

NEW IDEA.  I actually had this very vague idea while musing around, but @callistochan87 had another idea that was similar enough that I can change things to make it work WAY better.  So, the new idea is mostly that Nuncio pulls Astrid into Melohdia way before the others.  The people are rather confused, certainly, but it’s not 100% unheard of one Chosen being brought over.  So she’s treated like something of a god and spoiled further, and Nuncio pretty much convinces her that she’s the soul savior of Melohdia. He assigns Thor to be her Guide, although he’s just some Random Dude (because I decided that matching genders to the Chosen is sort of weird, so Nannin is a full Guide now).

BUT Ariadne and Atalo end up pulling the REAL Chosen a month or so later, which REALLY pull the people for a loop, and they realize that Astrid is a fake once they realize that Thor isn’t a real Guide and that Nannin claims Freyja.  The group attempts to assimilate Astrid in with them, because they realize it’s not HER fault all this happened, but since she’s a fake Chosen AND a narcissistic bitch, they end up not viving all that well, and she ends up running away in anger and embarrassment.

Nuncio sort of blames the whole thing on Atalo somehow, since the people forgot that Ariadne is the only one who can pull true Chosen into the world, mostly to save face.

Astrid and Thor do end up joining with Atalo for a little bit, because he’s trying to be sympathetic to her as well, but their goals aren’t really the same.  She does prove to be a major threat to the group because she DOES have the power of a Chosen, although they’re sort of weak.  

Her real name is Katelyn Davis, and she’s pretty much the opposite of the other Chosen.  She’s a complete social butterfly, the sort to think the world revolves around her.  She’s not happy unless she’s around people, whereas the other Chosen are pretty much introverted and would prefer to keep to themselves. 

Her Guide’s name is Thor (I keep calling him that in my head, I think because of Frejya being named after a god), and he is, in fact, a true Guide.  It’s just that he’s not a very good one, nor is he a good person.  He’s a bandit and delights in the misfortunes of others.  The other Guides avoided him at all costs, and wasn’t sure why he was chosen to be a Guide.  He goes off with Astrid after they kick him out of the group when Freyja chooses Nannin over him.  (The two of them became close in the month Frejya was stuck there on her own, so of course she’d want to have her stay with her.)

The last picture was just me giving them their original hair colors just for the hell of it, and now I’m torn.  >.<  Because I like these as well.  I mean, I like the idea of the colored hair being how you can tell they’re the Chosen, BUT I also, you know, like the original colors BECAUSE they are the original colors.  >.<

[capriccio-con-espressione]

Teacher’s Day

（©GIF cred)

A/N: Happy birthday to our comedic meme material prince Hendery!😘 This is a re-upload from my old acc so I hope you guys enjoy! (P.S. Reuploaded again since the previous one failed to show up in tags)

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 3027

Warning:  Bratty Sub!Hendery, Dom!Reader, Femdom, Teacher/Student Roleplay, Profanity, Hair pulling, Spanking, Wedgie, Degradation, Anal play, Sex toys, Titty sucking/worshipping, Writing lines as punishment

  “How much longer?” Blindfolded Hendery whines while you are leading him to the designated room for his birthday playtime, but this impatient boy obviously can’t wait.

  “What is my surprise, to be exact?” The boy continues to inquire. “I hope I won’t be walking blindfolded for too much longer or I am starting to think that you are taking me to the slaughterhouse like I am a piglet!”

  “I’ll make sure your surprise is worth the wait if you stop being this inquisitive.” You stop your leading steps. “Seriously? A piglet? Can you not ruin the mood by goofing around and exaggerating things this much?”

  “Okay okay I am sorry.” Hendery playfully apologizes. “First asking me to wear the uniform from the Back to School Kit, second blindfolding me like this, I am really dying to know what it is!”

  “Shh be patient.” You smirk while finally leading him inside the room, instructing him to sit down in a chair. “Do you know what’s special about today?”

  “My birthday, of course! Why ask?” He asks, puzzled.

  “It’s also Teachers’ Day in Taiwan as well.” You half-whisper in his ear while taking off his blindfold. “So I’d better teach you some manners as well as something unforgettable on this day…”

  Hendery’s vision clears up as he glances around his surroundings: a blackboard with capitalized letters “DETENTION” written on it, a podium in the front left of the room, and several sets of desk and chairs arranged in neat rows while he’s seated in one of them, with a typical school bag hanging from the hook on the right side of his desk.

  “Wow this looks legit…” He compliments. “So this is why the school uniform?”

  You reply in a sly hum, picking up the 50-cm iron ruler originally leaning against the podium before approaching him. “I remember you mentioning role-play to spice up our sex life, so I figured this can be the peak of your birthday. You like that, my naughty schoolboy?” You smirk alluringly while tilting his chin up with the ruler.

  “Fuck yeah, this will be amazing…”

  You slam the ruler menacingly loud against his desk, startling him a bit. “Words, Hendery. No profanity allowed in this class. Aren’t you aware of the trouble you are in right now?” You motion toward the capitalized words on the blackboard.

  “Hmmm...I have no idea…” He feigns innocence in those bright piercing eyes, in an obvious attempt to annoy you.

  “Such an impudent lad. You are in detention because you don’t hand in assignments on time, slacking off in your studies, and last but not least, bad-mouthing your teacher.” You close in on him while maintaining a glare. “Are you sorry for what you did?”

  “No, y/n-”

  “How dare you call me by my first name?”

  “Look, Miss Y/L/N I don’t really care. I am a very busy guy and you are just wasting my time.” He grins cheekily. “I am going to miss my club practice. I promise I will do better, so can’t you just let it go this time?”

  “I don’t trust your empty promises, Hendery, especially this isn’t the first time you let me down.” You cross your arms. “And you shouldn’t be allowed any club activities since you fail to prioritize things correctly. You should sit here, properly complete the assignments you have missed under my supervision, and you are free to go after that. It’s that simple.”

  “Why are you giving me such a hard time, Miss?”

  “I am not being hard and unreasonable on you, all I am asking you to do is something that aids your learning and done by the rest of your peers, plus, you won’t know what your problems with learning are without these practices.” You sigh while taking out the workbook from the schoolbag and place it right in front of him. “Now stop complaining and do it.” You order as you sit down next to him.

  Hendery huffs and reluctantly flips through the book to find the marked pages for this session. “20 pages of mathematics with 30 questions on each one? Are you insane?”

  “This is the accumulated result of your indolence, boy. And you sure it’s appropriate to call your teacher insane?”

  “Right right I am so sorry Miss-” 

  “Apologize properly.” You grab his arm to get all his attention, starting to get sick of his dismissive attitude and playing nice with him.

  “I am really sorry that I called you insane, Miss Y/L/N...” His voice trails off at the end of the sentence while he diverts his attention to the questions in front of him again.

  You watch him scribble down answers on the pages intently to see his every move, so when his arm scoots suspiciously close to the corner of the page where he’s writing something, you immediately take notice of it.

  You abruptly stand up and snatch away the book from him with a strong force, making his eyes widen with disbelief. “‘Miss Y/L/N is an annoying bitch’? This is what I get after being this patient and communicative with you?” You continue to read the contents of the page. “And none of the answers are correct! You are really giving me attitude, huh?”

  “Why should I listen to you when you’re such a pain in my ass?”

  “Pain in my ass isn’t it? Now I should really inflict some real pain on your ass.” He yelps as you yank him by his hair, forcing him to stand up. “Bend over.”

  Hendery winces at the burning sensation on his scalp as he complies, then you let go and press his waist down firmly against the desk as your other arm immediately delivers a sharp blow on his bottom.

  “Apologize.” You order sternly after a dozen spanks.

  “Never.” He retorts with a grunt.

  “Such a shameless brat.” You muse while pulling down his trousers, then pull up his boxers between his cheeks and give a firm tug on it, causing him to whine in discomfort.

  “Still unapologetic?” You sneer before giving a harsh slap on his bare flesh.

  “Please stop...Miss...and I am really sorry…”

  “Sorry for what?”

  “I-I am sorry for disrespecting you!”

  “Then? What about your horrible work on your assignment?” You resume spanking him again.

  “Mmmf- I am sorry for messing up my homework! Please stop wedging me I beg you, Miss.”

  You snigger at his plead and how easy it is to break him, but still you aren’t satisfied. “Combine your apologies into a sentence together and I will consider, and you’d better be earnest enough.”

  “Ahh-I apologize sincerely for calling you bad names, a-and slacking off in my studies then failing to do my homework properly! Please Miss I feel so guilty right now…” He whimpers and shifts his butt, trying to minimize the soreness.

  “Very well.” You decide not to be too hard on him at first to save it for later and release the fabric. Hendery sighs in relief, only to experience a similar mishap soon after again. 

  “You forgot to thank me, you poor-mannered lad.” You smirk at his misfortune, tweaking the clothing harder than last time, feeling amused that your boyfriend always falls into this trap by forgetting to express his gratitude when you just decide to have a little mercy on him.

  “P-please Miss I am sorry for not remembering to thank you...ahhh…please I’ll be good...just spare me some mercy please…”

  “How should I believe that you will have the brain to remember such basic manners next time, you airhead?”

  “I-I will endure whatever it takes for you to believe in me, Miss. I am truly sorry…”

  “Whatever, huh?” You mock his tone while shoving both his undergarments down his ankles. “You are going to take a sound spanking. Better remember to count out every spank and thank me afterward. Is that clear?” 

  “Yes, Miss. I won’t forget it this time.”

  You swing the ruler in the air, warming your arm up, before striking his bare bottom.

  “One! Th-thank you, Miss.”

  You smack him again, but harder this time.

  “Two! Ahh-thank you, Miss.” He kicks his legs, but only to find them restrained with his garments, which just excites him more.

  You then continue to mercilessly redden his ass, interspersing the punishment with some sensual soothing rubs in between to prepare him for the sting and arouse him, and remain the same dynamic and rhythm until the twentieth spank, when you suddenly pick up the pace and inflict him with four consecutive blows.

  “Twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four. Hnngh-thank you, Miss…” His voice falters.

  “See? You are not that bad at calculating. Why did you mess up your math homework that much then?” You ask before smacking him for the twenty-fifth time.

  “Twenty-five...thank you, Miss. I am sorry that I deliberately screwed up because I am just a defiant brat!”

  “Then you promise to do your best in your work in the future?” You inquire, amused by his admittance while continuing his punishment.

  “I will...I promise I won’t let you down ever again, Miss.” He assures you after counting out and thanking you.

  “You promise you will be a pliant pupil that listens well to his teacher?”

  “Ah-twenty-seven, thank you, Miss. I promise I will listen to you and obey you like a good student should do.”

  “Very well. So you should never violate any school rules again, right?” You foreshadow what the plot of your session will lead, before whipping him for the last time.

  “Twenty-eight...thank you, Miss. I promise I will abide by the rules.” He replies obediently, oblivious about the whole thing since it’s arranged as a surprise event.

  “Good boy.” You praise before caressing his sore butt, brushing his inner thighs from time to time as he moans at your sensual touches. “You didn’t just miss out on math, but other subjects as well. Should I take out the other study materials for you so that you have an overall understanding of what you should do?”

  “Yes, please. Thank you, Miss Y/L/N. May I sit down now?”

  “Just a minute…” You reply, searching through the schoolbag while taking your mischievous plan to work. “What are these doing in your bag, Hendery?” You demand sternly, laying two objects in front of him.

  Hendery becomes speechless at the sight of the large, rounded realistic silicone boobs and the veiny, ridgy dildo.

  “Care to explain what this is for?” You deliberately ask while pointing at the tits. Excitement boils inside you as you expect his answer.

  “This…is to fuck myself between them.” He shamelessly responds, with a devilish grin and a twitching dick, indicating his liking toward this turn of the plot.

  “How about this?” You motion at the dildo.

  “This is what I use to get a hot girl like you to fuck me to paradise…” He smirks dreamily, thinking of what you will do to him with it as you smirk at his sudden compliment.

  “Now I see the main reason that your grades are slipping. You are not only unwilling to study hard, but also you are a lecherous slut! You should know well porno stuff is obviously prohibited in school, but I remember you promising me that you will not break any rule just now?”

  “It was too late then, I already brought them before promising you.”

  “That still doesn’t justify your behavior. You should be punished again. Remember you saying that you will obey me?” You grin knowingly as you lightly patted the ruler against your palm.

  “Yes, Miss. Please punish me all you want as long as you won’t tell the authorities.”

  You simper at his literal beg to get punished. “Why should I report you to my superiors,” You position the fake boobs right under his face, “when I can have all the fun and enjoy the little show myself?” You tap the ruler against his ass once again. “Now suck it just like what you will do to your dream girl, filthy boy whore. You may not be the best at your studies, but you’d better not disappoint me with this.”

  Hendery happily commences engulfing the artificial mound while grimacing at the blooming tingle on his behind. The lewd sounds of him greedily slurping and lapping on the toy, the sight of his body squirming under your punitive ruler, and the corruptive contrast of his aristocratic profile doing the most sordid thing ever, all turn you on with the growing need for him to pleasure you.

  “Are you wiggling your naughty ass just to direct me to hit where you crave the pain the most, you seamy little slutboy?” You comment on his writhing backside as he nods in affirmation while continuing servicing the tits.

  “Perhaps you will love it when I abuse you here, right?” You wickedly tuck the ruler between his cheeks, earning a moan from him.

  “Would you like sucking real tits, or maybe you just prefer fawning over silicones?” You sneer, knowing the answer too well as you rub the ruler on his rear entrance.

  “I love real beautiful boobs more, of course, especially those of yours, Miss…” Hendery replies through moans, finally looking up at you from the saliva-covered toy while not forgetting to flatter you.

  “Hmm you finally know how to properly treat your teacher now, huh?” You remark as you unbutton your blouse then free your boobs from the lacy cups. “Worship them.”

  Hendery starts sucking on your breast after an admiring stare. “Since you’ve got your mouth worked up, I think I should stuff your other orifice too…” You say while coating both his ass, your fingers and the dildo with profuse lube. After gradually adding fingers to stretch him wide enough, you begin to slam into his needy prostate with the dildo, savoring the feeling of his wetness and vibrations coating your sensitive areas as well.

  Both his hands grab and fondle the base of your boobs for support as his knees buckle a little at the sensation deep inside his behind. You tangle the fingers of your free hand into his hair, forcing him to make eye contact with you with a firm tug.

  “Why do you turn to sex toys and risk bringing them to school, while your teacher is here to counsel you with both your studies and insatiable needs?”

  “B-because I want you to f-fuck and punish me for being a slut…” He flicks his tongue on your erect nipple after replying.

  “Is this why you got yourself in detention in the first place? Acting bratty in hopes of the opportunity to get some sexy discipline?”

  “Mmm yeah…” Your “student” that used to be so deviant is now moaning mindlessly between pants and sucking while looking up at you so lovingly yet indecently, urging you to ram his ass even harder and faster. Blissful tears start to stream out of his lust-filled eyes as you shove his uniform jacket down below his shoulders, loosen his tie then undo his first few upper buttons to turn him into a disheveled mess even more. Seeing him rendered to a state like this plus the stimuli on your nipples cause your core to drip with satisfying needs.

  “Such a messy needy baby...do you want to cum?” You coo as he quickly nods in response.

  “Then will you manage your time well and complete your assignment properly?”

  “...Yes, I will, Miss.”

  “Will you be respectful to your teacher from now on?”

  “Mmm of course I will, especially to my favorite teacher…”

  “Last but not least, will you turn to your teacher for help when necessary instead of wanking with stupid toys?”

  “Definitely, because my teacher feels so much better…”

  “Good. Now you are allowed to cum as much as you want.” 

  Hendery cums after muttering some gratitude, not forgetting his manners this time. You indulge in a slow sensual kiss with him afterward, drawing him out of the orgasmic haze while whispering some praises to him, slowly guiding him back to his senses as well as doing a quick clean-up of body fluids.

  “Did you know you just came with your dick completely untouched?” You playfully taunt.

  “I know you are that good…” He sheepishly grins at you.

  “Now one more thing for you to do as a reminder to always be a good boy.” You gesture toward the blackboard. “Write 28 repeated lines of ‘I will respect my teacher at all times’.”

  “Sure.” He quickly answers while reaching down to pull up his trousers.

  “Did I give you permission to re-dress?” You disapprovingly question.

  “No, Miss…” He slightly blushes. “But it’s so embarrassing…” He mutters in protest while wobbling toward the board. covering himself.

  “That’s the purpose of this punishment, making you so humiliated and disheveled that you will never forget your lesson.”

   Hendery sighs while picking up the chalk, and starts scribbling down the requested line. The first ten lines look passable but after that, his writing begins to get sloppy.

  “Rewrite this.” You erase the line that you deem intolerable.

  “But-”

  “No ‘buts’, unless you want some thrashing again.”

  Your schoolboy groans but still has no choice but to comply, peeking at the board eraser in your hand while making efforts to win your approval. Finally, he reaches the 28th line without the need for you to demand him to rewrite anything.

  “Well done, that’s my good boy.” You continue to compliment his obedience and hard work, embracing him while massaging some cool lotion into his still rosy ass, before helping him to re-dress.

  “Do you like my way of discipline?”

  “A lot. But you hit me so hard…” He jokingly glares before nuzzling against the crook of your neck, planting some wet kisses on it.

  “I am already giving you enough privilege to suck my tits for this long, so be grateful.” He whines in response upon hearing this but holds on you even tighter, while subtly grinding against your chest.

  “Happy birthday.” You utter affectionately, completely immersed in the intimacy while sensing his gorgeous features beaming in return.

  “Happy Teacher’s Day.”

[ye-bloodeh-liar]

I just finished AC Valhalla – A résumé.

I finished the "main story" of Assassin's Creed Valhalla. These are some thoughts of mine. (This was saved in my drafts for two weeks or so. But my stance hasn't altered. Actually, I'm even angrier now.)

Disclaimer: This obviously contains some spoilers here and there. You've been warned, but tbh, who even cares about the story at this point. Also, I know I don't have many followers, and I suspect none of the few that will come across this post will actually be interested in it. That said, if you like reading people's rants about things, regardless of your interest in video games, this might be something for you. I just needed to get this out of my system somewhere. This is a rant (well, vent? I'm venting, I guess) written as it came to my mind. There's no real structure, I think. Sorry for that in advance.

After Origins, which I thoroughly enjoyed and actually played again between Odyssey and Valhalla, and Odyssey, which's name was perfectly fitting since it felt like a fucking odyssey to grind through, I hoped, actually, I was convinced, Valhalla would right Odyssey's wrongs. You see, Odyssey had one big problem for me: It did none of the things that made and still make me love Origins. In short: The world was massive, but felt copied and pasted, uninteresting to explore and lifeless. Basically, it was a lot of green sprinkled with some olive branches. A lot of the times the only way to know roughly where I am was pulling up the map because based on my surroundings, I could've been anywhere. Compared to the intriguing world of Origins, where you always knew in which area of the map you currently were, this was a shitshow. I mean, just walking through the desert in Origins had more atmosphere than the whole city of Athens (the main fucking city) could ever muster up. (Oh, remember the times of AC Brotherhood, where Rome actually felt like a city even though it wasn't actually humongous like the new games are? Or how atmospheric the whole of AC II was? I mean, Venice? Hello? M a s t e r p i e c e) But I can overlook that. The combat didn't feel heavy, or to put it better, "impactful" like it did in Origins, but more like poking the enemies to their deaths with something that made sword-y sounds. But I can overlook that. The loot system improved a bit, in the sense of giving the option to modify your loot and being able to combine different armor pieces, however, Origins outfit-system was more up my alley. But I can overlook that. Funnily enough, compared to its predecessor, Odyssey looked worse. In Origins the fabric of your outfit look like actual fabric and, I can't stress this enough, waved in the wind. In Odyssey everything felt more static and somehow "fake". But I can overlook that. To me, Origins' story was masterfully done. Personally, I'd say, that this is the closest we've ever gotten to the Ezio-Trilogy. The voice acting was top notch. Bayek was a great character, and the side characters like Aya/Amunet were equally intriguing. I still remember the first time I saw the first confession cutscene after killing Medunamun. It gave me shivers and goosebumps and got me excited for what was about to come. What I want to say with this, is that Origins made me care; care about its characters, care about their backstory and motives, care about the world, etc. After I had finished the DLC The Hidden Ones I felt like I had actually witnessed the igniting spark of something epic, namely the Assassin Brotherhood, in such a chilling way, even though they basically were just chillin' in a cave. Because that's what character building gives you: payoffs. Well, Odyssey did none of that. All it did made me care about was to get all the loot, because that's what my mind always goes for in any game (I'm that kind of stupid ape). I didn't care about what would happen in the end – I just wanted to get there. I wanted to know how the story would end, but in whichever way it would, I knew I wouldn't care for it in the sense of being disappointed or yearning for a different outcome for the character I was so invested in, because, as I said, nothing got me invested in the character(s) in the first place. That's what bugged me the most about Odyssey. Not the flimsy feeling combat, not the husk of a world I found myself in, not the downgrade in design and animation, etc., but the lack of care it invoked.

Now, when Valhalla was originally announced, I was excited as I could be for a video game. Ubisoft was clearly aware of their mistakes with Odyssey and tried to show that they're willing to listen to their fanbase. A world where every area has its own identity? Sounds great. Heavy combat? Hell yeah. Gear and loot that actually matters and is special (unlike in Odyssey where after a few hours of playing you find yourself carrying the same fucking bow 25 times)? Oh my. Choices not for the sake of choices, but story? Yes please. I mean, if you have to implement choices. Even though choices don't really make sense in Assassin's Creed, but that's another topic.

Well, did it deliver (for me)? No. And to be completely honest, I prefer Odyssey, even as the grindfest that it is, over Valhalla, and me replaying Odyssey seems a lot more likely to me, than going through all of Valhalla again. I'm not going to list all of the points mentioned above again in full detail: The world is a bit more intriguing than Greece, but a shadow of what Egypt was. The combat feels heavy, yet every weapon looks too big (????) and it still feels a bit off. My biggest grudge of the minor points is actually the look/the graphics: How on earth does Valhalla manage to look less real than Origins? The fur and pelts on the armor, every piece of cloth, i mean just e v e r y t h i n g looks somewhat plasticy (at loss for a better word here; just compare Origins' outfits in motion to Valhalla's) Anyway, let's get to the real problem here, because all boils down to the point I've mentioned before: Invoking care.

This became very apparent to me after forging the fourth (?; was it the fourth? They all blur together. That's how e n t i c i n g they are. Great.) alliance or so. I didn't give a single fuck about the characters in those arcs. It was very clear that they'd be soon replaced by other characters in the next alliance's arc, which I probably wouldn't care for either, especially, since they all felt somewhat the same: empty. Alliances felt like checklists to do. Even Wincestre, which had an interesting beginning, somehow managed to loose all of its "darkness" after the first two quests. But I could overlook the dreary sidequest-like alliance arcs, if they served the main storyline in some way or form. Now you might ask, what main storyline? E x a c t l y. Looking back, there is none. At least not really. And there where a lot of times playing the game where I found myself wondering, if this alliance-arc-thing I was currently dragging myself through was in fact meant to be the actual story. But it shouldn't be. Was it? I have no fucking clue. My conclusion on what Valhalla's main overarching story is, is what follows:

Eivor's parents got killed when he was a child (never seen before lol), got adopted, and is now part of the Raven clan with his "brother" Sigurd//Sigurd comes home from some raid with the Assassins Basim and Hytham//(Eivor gets the Hidden Blade; I mean, this is an Assassin's Creed game. Big moment. Done in 2 seconds.)//Sigurd and Eivor aren't happy with the new King of Norway.//Sigurd and Eivor fuck off to England (with Basim and Hytham) to set camp there.//Eivor starts to forge alliances throughout England to make his clan's hold on England stronger.// Sigurd and Basim do their own thing.//Eivor meets Sigurd and Basim two or three times throughout his alliance forging.//Basim seems a bit off.//Sigurd says that he was told (by Basim?) that he is a descendant of the gods.// Sigurd wants to "pursue his destiny"// (sidenote: the last few things are all within one (!) short cutscene in a small house. d e v e l o p m e n t.)//Sigurd gets captured and tortured and loses his hand.//Eivor rescues Sigurd.// Sigurd is back in the settlement.//Sigurd distrusts Eivor because Eivor doesn't believe Sigurd and Sigurd thinks Eivor wants to take his title as the jarl (jarls are the bosses of settlements).// And then the end sequence hits. This is where I want to go into somewhat detail again. We go from Sigurd distrusts Eivor to "Eivor, I don't wanna be the boss of the town, so I don't hold a grudge anymore, let's go back to Norway and I'll show you I was right all along" like it's nothing. It's literally just that: You walk up to Sigurd, he says this (more or less) and you sail away. Again: development is taken very seriously in this game. Honestly, at this point I didn't even know that this was going to trigger the ending. My genuine thoughts were "Oh my, finally, after all this grinding, the story is going to start." when in reality of course, ironically, it was going to end. Absolute belter. So you sail to Norway with Sigurd, which takes fucking forever, because OF COURSE you have to sail (for everyone who didn't play the game, yes, sail, that means looking at a viking longship while occasionally moving the stick slightly to change its directions slightly) to your original settlement in Norway, for what feels like far too long, only to say Hi to your dad. Fucking lost it. I thought we were going to assassinate the King? Nah bruv let's just have some quick family talk instead. Some action? Nah. Just get back to the longship. A N D S T A R T S A I L I N G A G A I N. Where? Just around the curve of our settlement in Norway. Yes, they pulled the old trick of the ending is literally just right around the corner of your starting position hehe. Absolute belter. Is this to make it seem like something is about to happen? The calm before the storm? It doesn't work like that. Well, then you actually sail through a storm (lol), which doesn't matter, because Sigurd just says "Let's keep going" and, well, you keep going. Also, to this point the weather conditions have never affected neither Eivors health, nor the ship in any way whatsoever, so why should I be impacted by a storm now? Like, it's a nice thing for atmosphere, but at least make the ship harder to steer or something. Then you walk up a mountain. Funnily enough Sigurd walks in manner that shows that the walk against the storm isn't easy, whereas you, hah, you can just yeet yourself up that mountain like nothing. I could sprint up there. Fucking sprint. Anyway, Eivor and Sigurd enter the Isu temple, because of course, we had to throw an Isu temple in there, I mean, i t ' s A s s a s s i n ' s C r e e d. Was it hinted at before in the story? Not really. Were we chasing or searchig for it? Nah, better get that next alliance going. It just suddenly was. Again: development. So we walk to the main platform of the temple and activate the machine and bam we're in Valhalla (because at some point Ubisoft realised that maybe they should include what is literally in the name of the game). Again, were we looking for Valhalla? Like not in the sense that every viking was, but more in the sense

of was it the main objective of the game? Did Eivor look for a way to Valhalla? Was there anything that led us here other than Sigurd having had a few dreams (that only got mentioned, like, twice?) and being influenced into thinking he was a demigod or something? Nope, Eivor was looking for that next alliance to forge. So, Eivor realises that his experience of Valhalla is fake and he wants to get out. But fake-Odin doesn't want to let him go. In a really weird cutscene (jump to 6:30), Eivor eventually escapes Odin and enters a door with his settlement-family (look, I'm all here for metaphors, but this, this is just utter rubbish. It just doesn't make sense, and there is no payoff whatsoever). Odin actually had a build-up of some sort. In every assassination sequence he's there and talks with Eivor. I actually thought there would be some cool payoff/ending/reveal here. But nah, this ain't it chief. Yet somehow, until here, I had hope. I thought maybe now, building on all this confusion, there's gonna be a relatively good ending. Something enticing. Something that made everything somewhat worthwile. And Ubisoft went: Lol nah. So, you're out of the Isu machine again (for all the non-AC-peoples here: basically like the matrix. Eivor gets hooked up to the machine and experiences alternate reality: Valhalla), and Basim is there. What a twist. The guy that showed up like three times and went from friendly in the first time to super suspicious (like glaring-in-your-face-suspicious) in the two-or-so other major cutscenes he was in, has now been revealed as the enemy. Congrats to that. What a twist. The thing is, and this bothers me a lot actually, it could have been anyone there. It didn't need to be Basim. It wouldn't have felt out of place if it wasn't him. Why? Because Ubisoft failed terribly at making you connect to any character and at building any actual story (or character). It could have been Gunnar, the friendly black-smith in our settlement, and it would have been as fitting as Basim. Then Basim says that this is "for his son". Ah yes, the lost son of Basim, which was mentioned once. Right. Eivor defeats Basim by hooking him up on the Isu machine and gets back to the settlement with Sigurd (in my ending at least. There seems to be a possible ending in which Sigurd doesn't come back.) Cut to the modern day, where Layla now knows the coordinates of the Isu temple, goes there, hooks herself up to the machine, becomes the overseer of time with the other overseer of time which already was hanging out there (I mean yeah, great idea, terrible execution. Build it up, then you can have a payoff. This was just straight outta nowhere, and who cared about Layla anyway.) Anyway, meanwhile Basim, who was still hanging on that machine a fuck ton of years later, pops off, and is now living in the modern day. The idea here is, that we lost the hero (Layla) which caused the (just established) vilain (Basim) to do his fuckery in the modern day. But why should I care? Basim was basically nonexistent in the basically nonexistent story and suddendly I should feel sad or shocked, because he's in the modern day? Is this supposed to be intriguing? And yeah, Layla is "gone". Layla, who had no character building over three fucking games. Why should i be bothered? Why should I care about anything that just happened? Remember when a side character (Lucy) died in AC Brotherhood? That was intriguing. Why? Because they built her as a character we (Desmond) trusted, even though it was in the modern day (which no one really cares about in AC). And this is why Valhalla broke me and Odyssey didn't. Valhalla failed to make me care on a much deeper level. It's just a lot of nothingness. Empty characters in a nonexistent story. And by nonexistent, I mean non-built at all. When I play the game now, I have no actual reason, and throughout the game never actually had any actual reason, to continue. It was a chore. I didn't bother if after three hours of grind I would eventually get a mini-snippet of a husk of a story, and neither do I care now. Everything in

this game is so devoid of sparking curiosity and screams of lacklusterness to the point where I don't even know what I have actually expierenced. For fuck's sake Ubisoft, make me care again. At least once in 40 hours.

May I sum up Valhalla's "story" and content in the glorious words of Catherine Tate: Am I bovvered? The answer, sadly, is a holistic no.

[rawrghhr]

Blanket Pattern~!

The whole thing isn't really from a pattern this is just my attempt at making a heavy blanket for myself and also trying out big needles for the first time. I over-explained it because once I started I couldn't stop lol. I sound so opinionated! I swear I'm just making things easier for myself!

For this blanket I’m using: Lion Brand Wool-ease Thick & Quick (amazing name) in Spiced Apple(red) and Frosty Spruce(blue). The yarn is a level 6 Bulky, 80% acrylic 20% wool, it recommends a us13/9mm needle. I am using a size us15! needle for giving the blanket less solidity, and thus a lot of the stitches in my blanket are big enough for fingers to go through, so be aware.

Side Cables are done from this cable pattern: [LINK] This linked post is my own simplification of it because I felt the original wasn't very good. There is a link to the original though. (Note on the Cable pattern: I simplified it by skipping from Row 31 to Row '4' since 31 and 3 are the same, and all rows 1-3 add is another twisty long bit I don't care for)

CO =166 stitches

The beginning pattern is a one-rib stitch done with [K6, (P,K)*repeating, K6].  on Wrong side just [K6, (knit knits and purl purls)*, K6]. I did 8 rows to make the bottom border, 6 would probably look nicer.

After that setup edge is where the differing pattern stitches start: first and last 6 stitches of every row are K6. Same for wrong side, K6. This will continue the one-rib border pattern up the sides of the blanket. (the yarn i used made it necessary to slip the first stitch of a new row every time instead of knitting it but that's my own thing, I wanted tighter edges, do your edges however~)

It's a little silly but here's a brief template:

Basic pattern for Right Side rows: Slip1, K5, [cable pattern], [internal pattern], [cable pattern again], K6.

Basic pattern for Wrong Side rows: Slip1, K5, [knit knits, purl purls for cable pattern], [internal pattern WS], [knit knits, purl purls for cable pattern], K6.

(for the [92] stitches between the two cable patterns called "internal pattern" are just a variety of texture patterns because I love texture)

(for the [92] stitches between the two cable patterns called "internal pattern" are just a variety of texture patterns because I love texture)

Here's the "internal pattern" that I've done thus far (meaning I follow the cable pattern and then have these 92 stitches to fuck around before I do the cable pattern again):

First [21] rows: basket weave. Taken from here video 'height' I used here was 3rows, 4rows, then 5 rows for each level to make them appear to grow.

Next [10] rows are seed stitch; this one's a reversible pattern. video

Next [2] rows I did a kind of 'raspberry stitch': Increase 1 on every stitch, then on next row, combine them back together with a K2tog or similar. makes a row of little ball tassle kind of things.

Next [22?] rows are funky and I wasn't following a pattern. I started with (K3, P3) across, and used each K on the Right Side as a cable and just fanned them out kind of randomly. I honestly don't recommend this pattern or method. 3 by 3 is clunky for this.

Next [24] rows are seed stitch again! video

Next [12] rows are basket weave in 4x4. video (I don't recommend this, they are too wide to look nice).

Next [4] are K across ws and rs.

Next [8] are seed stitch but double-wide. So instead of being (K,P)* repeat, it's (K2, P2)*repeat.

Next [24] are 2wide 4 high basket weave (video)

Next [25?] are 'latticework' cables: started with (K2,P2) across, and from there every Right Side moved the single cables apart one stitch, and kept it up so they crossed over each other in a nice design. (I didn't use a pattern; reference?)

Next [5] are K across ws and rs.

Next [?] I'm doing seed stitch again, dunno where it'll go next.  

[codylabs]

My Top 10 Ships

I’m not a very romantic sort of guy, I’m not real forgiving to departures from canon, I get easily annoyed at inconsistencies, and I don’t watch much television and movies, so in order for me to ship something, it has to be a GOOD ship. I default toward rejecting ships, so to impress ME, it must be built on logic, and evidence, it’s gotta be something I can suspend my disbelief far enough to accept. And it’s gotta have story behind it, something deep, some hefty emotional weight; if it doesn’t tickle this man’s cold reptilian heart with strong beats and excellent writing, it goes straight to the trash. I absoLUTELY will not stand for any of these weird little cute, pretty, pandering, trashy crack ships that everybody seems to be clumsily throwing characters into. Most ships are trash ships. They are not good ships.

You think your ship is good? You like your ship?

You ship it?

No you don’t.

Get out of here.

You will listen to me. I will tell you. Look at me. I’m the Captain now.

Here are the 10 good ships.

10. The Rocinante, The Expanse

A resoundingly excellent ship. Unlike most ships you see out there, this thing was actually designed with realistic space combat in mind. It’s got 6 computer-controlled gatling turrets covering every angle, it accelerates in whatever direction it’s pointing, its bridge is right in the center to put as much armor as possible between enemies and crew, overall a much better-designed vehicle than most everything you see about.

That being said, I didn’t have much connection to this ship. Its crew weren’t really interesting, the aesthetic was kinda bleak, and I basically stopped watching after the phazon showed up. And the Rocinante itself has pretty poor redundancy. Enemy bullets can literally just pass through it (as is realistic for a ship this size) so how about multiple main engines huh? Absolutely tragic oversight. And its interior looks too much like an Apple product. How are you supposed to work on it? Where are the wires and pipes??? The handholds?????

9. Ares IV M.A.V., The Martian

Almost more of a symbol than a ship. A symbol of freedom, of escape. A beautiful symbol. This is what Mark Watney spends the whole movie trying to reach, with an entire world backing him up, and an entire world trying to stop him. It’s the goal of the movie, and it just looks so beautiful when he finally reaches it and sees it sitting there in the middle of the desert, ass down, nose up; a tall, proud symbol. This ship has a special significance for me because the author of the original book really did his research on the scientific requirements and details of a Mars Ascent Vehicle, and it was actually inspired by the E.R.V. in another book, ‘A Case For Mars’, which I read when I was younger. “Makes its own methane-oxygen fuel on-site by using nuclear power to break down CO2 in the atmosphere and combining it with stored hydrogen, don’t you know.” I say as I adjust my spectacles and puff my pipe.

The M.A.V. in the movie does have a few issues, such as hallway and rooms running straight up through where the fuel tanks ought to be (instead of a lift/ladder on the exterior) and a rugged, industrial aesthetic that looks too heavy and cumbersome for a ship of its type. (And you’re seriously telling me he couldn’t have used the capsule’s RCS to literally bypass the movie’s entire climax? WHY NOT? The book never mentioned him having to drain the monopropellant!!!) But I’ll let that slide. Great movie.

8. Biggest Boy, The Greatship

(I don’t know the ship name so I had to make up a name. You know what, I think it’s actually just called the Greatship.)

So it’s a starship the size of Jupiter, empty, unmanned, perfectly mysterious, that comes gliding into the galaxy a couple million years into humanity’s future. Where did it come from? Who made it and how? Good questions. It’s powered by matter-antimatter annihilation reactions from within planet-sized internal tanks, and its engines use hydrogen and fusion exhaust as reaction mass, and its hull is made of hyperfiber, a super-strong fictional material with a 4-dimensional lattice structure, able to weather impacts by spreading them out over various dimensions where the impact occurred in a different place.

I hope that after the first few entries, you didn’t get the impression that I am somehow against futuristic, far-out, impossible technologies. Quite the opposite! I love me some hyperdrive and anti-gravity and A.I. and stuff. However! Ships must be well-designed for the technology available, and must take no creative liberties except those explicitly allowed by the difference in the setting. The laws of physics don’t disappear when the magic crystals come out, the magic crystals are merely a different tool to combat them. Engineering will always exist, should start with the tools and work outward, form follows function. Star Wars ships, for instance, are trash because they don’t mount their repulsorlift arrays consistently, they’re not aerodynamic, and their engines aren’t aligned around their center of masses.

So I like the Great Ship. Although the story is pretty far-fetched, and a lot of crazy, out-there scifi events transpire deep in the ship’s depths, the book always strictly kept its own rules in mind, and never broke those rules, no matter how outlandishly crazy things got. Thanks for comprehending something so incomprehensible, Robert Reed. You inspired me miles in my own work.

7. The Ghost, The Sea Wolf

The story may be fiction, but the Ghost was as real as ghosts can be.

Jack London did his research. No, not research, he LIVED this. The Ghost is a seal-hunting schooner much like one that he served aboard during his rollercoaster of a life, and he captured every detail of its operation, of its requirements, of its mechanics, and of the incredible toll it took on the people that lived such a life. The boat is made to feel as oppressive and claustrophobic as a prison, as if it were an extension of the monster that commanded it, directly in contrast to the expansive beauty of the sea around them. My goodness, what a beautiful book. What a moving, interesting, challenging book, with such a story! This book is one of the climaxes of fiction, and one of the inspirations for Shifting Sands, if I remember correctly. I would recommend this book to anybody. Beautiful.

6. Ferbnessa, Phineas and Ferb

Okay, so I hope we can all agree that Vanessa is nothing but bad news. But that being said, Ferb knows exactly the relationship he wants, and by golly, he goes for it. Most male characters would stutter or get nervous or lose confidence around their crush, especially if that crush is about a hundred miles out of their league or if they already had another boyfriend, but Ferb? No. Not my man Ferb. He’s slighly too much of a legend to fall for such childish pitfalls. He doesn’t posture, he doesn’t creep or flirt or try to sabotage the other men in her life, he doesn’t even speak a word, he just maintains his blank expression, cranks his own already-inhuman levels of confidence and competence up through the roof to borderline olympian levels, and continues being himself. These rare moments of Ferbly passion are some of the few open windows we get into the grandiose machinations of his mysterious mind, and he uses it to bring out the best in Vanessa as well. And in the future episode, set years down the line, wouldn’t you know it, they’re a pair.

All joking aside though, this whole ship is basically comedy. It’s a super small part of the show, it’s only in like 5 episodes, it’s a running gag, it’s hilarious. It’s great. And it fits right into the tone and the feel of the show, because P&F’s entire world really is a comedy about going for it and living your dreams. So this is just the best thing ever. It’s been about a decade since then, and I still burst out laughing at how much of a pristine picture of ideal masculinity Ferb is. Become like Ferb, boys, and you will become men.

Legendary.

Eat your heart out, Dipper.

3. Shunk, Voltron

(I don’t know the ship name so I had to make up a name)

Huge props to the voltron team for making a female alien character (even a romantic interest) with NO BOOBS. Do you have ANY idea how sick and tired I am of artists throwing a big ol��� pair of balonkadongs onto lobsters and snakes when almost everything in the real world besides folks and cows have either 0 or 8+ of them? Everything’s gotta be traditionally sexy and recognizably-feminine and GREAT now you just canonized all the porn! Disgusteg

but now look at Shay. She’s a rock person. She’s got silicon-based biology, she probably weighs 500 lbs and bleeds sand. She’s got enormous hands and weird knees and no nose and lumps everywhere, AND YET STILL the show plays all the tropes 100% straight with her being a fair young maiden and a sweet princess. And it works because Hunk is just this great guy who’s exactly as sweet and caring, and he’s not the most attractive of the Paladins either, so he probably lives his life looking past appearances. He doesn’t care that she’s an alien rock, he cares about her as a person, and she obviously worships him right back. Even though Shay is shown in season 1 and then never again until season 7, Hunk still avoids alternative romantic entanglements, citing ‘a rock I know’, and it just adds to his persona as this infinitely loyal teddy bear. I tip my hat to this, the single ship I know that’s 0% sexy and 100% wholesome.

And Hunk is the best Paladin. He’s just the greatest. I revere him. I salute him as he walks past. This man among men. Look at this guy. I don’t even care about any of the other ships in Voltron (I mean, the Castle of Lions is okay, but it’s outriggers are kinda spindly) but Hunk and Shay deserve each other.

4. Wendip, Gravity Falls

So Dipper’s 12/13, and Wendy’s 15. That’s a pretty giant age difference. Maybe you fans have fooled yourselves into thinking it’s not, but it is. She knows it. He knows it. His sister knows it. Your mom knows it. So halfway through the show, when he finally got around to confessing his feelings to her, she told him no. Sure they’re still friends, sure they like each other, and sure they have a lot of chemistry and they still have a movie night every Friday, but at the end of the day, he’s a smelly little midget who has to go back to California at the end of the Summer, and she’s a older girl with approximately zero romantic feelings for him. So the notion that it could work out is pretty obvious to everyone, and especially to him, pretty much hopeless. And he really did handle it all pretty poorly and immaturely too, he objectified her and stalked her and simped up a storm and sabotaged her boyfriend, so perhaps he deserved what he got. Perhaps it’s better this way.

And yet.

And yet Wendy never really got a happy ending in the show. And Dipper never got a conclusive romance either. So after everything, it’s easy to think about it how he thinks about it, by wondering how things could have been, if everything were just so slightly different, if she’d said yes or if they united again. She wishes she could be younger, he wishes he could be older. She’s more dominant, he’s more recessive. She has a lot of serious issues in her life, and could really seriously use a driven, heroic, intelligent friend to help her out, give her purpose, and steer her right. And Lord knows he could use somebody with street smarts and actual muscles to have his back now and again. They complement each other perfectly. They make up for each others’ weaknesses. They’re everything they ever wanted from another, and if you do the math, their children would be actual literal supersoldiers.

Or at least that’s the way a lot of people see it. There’s been immeasurable mountains of fanfiction and fanart from people who are just so sad that in a show full of happy endings and dreams coming true and old regrets being resolved and children growing up, that one ending would never be happy, one dream would never come to pass, one regret would stick with you forever, one child would never grow up. Maybe if you extrapolate out the story they’d end up together? Or maybe they’d find other, better partners? Maybe romance isn’t all that important in the grand scheme of things, and this is the best ending there could have been? Perhaps, perhaps not. But in any case, there’s a lot of very rich storytelling potential for the untold journey before them, and for the paths that could have been.

Stop drawing fetish art of Wendy, you insufferable heathen actual donkeys.

3. Kataang, Avatar: The Last Airbender

Now HERE’S a serious relationship. Not just a romantic ship, (though it is that,) not just some cutesy, funny thing or some ship-war fodder, (though it is cute and funny and did spawn a ship-war,) not just a matter of certainty and destiny, (though it is certain and was destined,) this is a real, TANGIBLE relationship, that these characters built together over a solid year of on-screen adventuring and fighting. They’ve helped each other through trauma, they’ve been there for each other in their darkest moments, they learned martial-arts together, they’ve fought back-to back against grown men, they’ve worked front-to-front sawing through steel girders, they’ve saved each other’s lives, he once ACTUALLY DIED and she brought him BACK. They end up respecting each other, and valuing each other in the intimate way that only true friends do.

And they’re shown working through all their imperfections and mistakes too. Aang sometimes oversteps boundaries and says stupid stuff because he’s a kid, and Katara sometimes scolds him and controls him because she’s motherly and orderly, they get jealous of each other, but none of those things drive them apart, and they deal with them, and they conquer them, and they keep a very legitimate and multi-faceted friendship going, and that’s the key to it all. The fact that this friendship becomes romance is just proof that it was a friendship of quality.

I think people tend to overlook or forget this ship because the last few episodes of the show found them in a pretty dark place, needing to deal with matters of life and death and justice in very different ways, and unlike all their other issues, we don’t really get to see them reconciling these differences before the story ends, which kind of leaves a sour taste between them. And Katara goes on a couple missions with Zuko around the same time, so now half of all people want Zutara, when in actuality, Zutara is a trash ship, which is a true science fact.

2. Serenity, Firefly

Only reason this ship isn’t #1 is because it isn’t constructed using a proper aerospace philosophy; it’s made of bulky machinery and steel beams and chunky plates, it looks more like an ocean vessel from the inside, and is WAY too big for its 6-12 person crew and light cargo capacity. Plus it doesn’t have any room for fuel and its got no wheels on its landing legs and no downward-facing windows and its reactor is just too dang SMOL and its engines are attached too flimsily. This all wouldn’t be too much of an issue if they were going for a far-future aesthetic, but if you’re trying to do something grounded and semi-contemporary, you need to lose some weight girl, I’m sorry.

But by gosh does it make up for it in heart. The entire inside of this ship was mapped out and made on set, with so many homely little decorations and touches to make every room feel like the person who inhabits it, sterile professional blue for the doc’s medbay, warm happy red for Kaylee’s engine room, all-serious-business-but-also-plastic-dinos for Wash’s cockpit... It hit me hard when this baby it crashed in the movie, and it felt almost real when River pretended to mind-meld with it. This ship has more soul in one buffer panel than most shows have in the entire cast, enough to make it seem like its own character, even in a show crowded with charming characters. I love this ship intimately, even if I would have built it differently.

1. Colonial Vessel 46.18′\, Gravity Falls

(I don’t know the ship name so I had to make up a name)

You didn’t think I’d leave out this one, did you? After all the fanfiction I’ve written? This is basically my ship at this point. Anyway, enough about me; the vessel beneath Crash Site Omega really is the quintessential alien ship; its perfectly cliche flying-saucer design taps into all the audience’s pre-existing fanciful notions and imaginings and disbelief-suspension, meanwhile its presentation isn’t cliche or fanciful in the slightest. 

There’s not much to say about it from a technical standpoint, besides personal musings: it would need anti-gravity to stay airborne without thrusters, it would need a FTL drive to cross the distances it did, its drones would need to be made of some kind of semi-liquid to move like they do... But these sort of out-of-the-box, never-before-seen, world-expanding brain-knocks are exactly what makes this ship special. It’s an alien ship, built with technology unknown to people, forged from materials that people don’t possess, and inhabited by beings we will never meet. For all we know, this ship could be perfectly sound from an engineering standpoint, and no engineer in the audience could claim to prove it otherwise, because unlike something like the T.A.R.D.I.S., they never try and fail to explain it away with science buzzwords or canonize its details or show off some fancy glowy reactor. This ancient husk is left as a yawning pit in reason, and that’s beautiful.

Moreover, this ship is an amazingly powerful narrative tool, and a mind-blowing surprise to drop in as a setpiece during the show’s final episodes. This ship embodies everything that made the show’s mysteries special: the evidence presented so early and so consistently, the creativity in creature design, action, and worldbuilding, the yawning depths of unknowable lore, and most of all the burning, unquenched desire to know more... The imprint this ship made in the cliffs over the town has been hanging over the characters’ heads the entire series, and its hull was below their feet from day one, so when they finally revealed it, and explored it, it felt invigorating. Rewarding. This ship, and the glorious feelings and thoughts it represents, have inspired to no end, and haven’t ended yet.

Honorable mentions:

Westley and Buttercup, The Princess Bride

Ooooh man I tell you what, it was really hard trimming this down to 10 for the list, and this one just barely didn’t make the cut, and that mainly because I have a sweet spot for animation and for warrior women, and this sweetness ain’t animated, and this damsel is as distressed as they get. And they don’t have a whole lot of chemistry? I don’t know how to measure that, but I feel like there was a lot of friendship stated that was never shown? Is it sacrilege to say that about True Love? I guess I’ve never exactly had True Love, so what do I know?

The entire plot centers around his devotion to her, and her love for him, and the lengths they go to for one another. He studies fencing and wrestling and wits and tactics for years on a pirate ship as he tried to return to her, and she refused the advances and the offers of an actual prince for as long as she could, even though she thought him dead, and was ready to kill herself when she knew him to be alive and not to be hers. And just such excellent action and characters and humor and story in the entire book surrounding it. Possibly an even better movie, somehow. Happy happy happy happy. They don’t make movies like this no more, why is that? Sad.

Endurance, Interstellar

Actually a pretty realistic design, all considering. They nailed the aesthetic, and the cinematography, and the feel.

It does lose points though, firstly because the shuttlecraft require a booster stage to make it into orbit when leaving Earth, but for the rest of the movie, whenever they’re landing on planets with similar gravity and atmosphere, they can just fly away like it’s no big deal, which is a big inconsistency, both with real life, and more importantly with itself. And how did an under-equipped and struggling space program put this thing in orbit in the first place, anyway? And why don’t their ships land on their asses like proper rockets? And why not tell the crew members the full plan before leaving? See, it’s little things like that, little inconsistencies made for the sake of fitting with story beats and simplifying it for the audience’s sake, that sours this ship for me. I don’t mind creative liberties, but actual plot holes? This thing has a few plot holes, and plot holes are absolutely yucky. So although most of this ship is very yummy, the yucky parts make it all yucky.

Yucky.

Plus its heavy cargo shuttles are about the least-aerodynamic things imaginable, and that’s also yucky, and there’s porcelain tiles in the stasis bay, like what?

Couldashouldawoulda been yummy.

The Hermes, The Martian

This ship. This friggin’ ship.

A beautiful ship. A well-conceived ship. A mathematically sound and engineered ship. It had so many many good ideas behind it. So much math went into calculating its thrust and orbital dynamics for this movie, so much work went into making it fit a contemporary space aesthetic, the panels, the heat sinks, the tanks, so much PRESENTATION I could KISS IT HMWA, but taken as a whole, engineering-wise, the whole ship falls flat on its face, because it just doesn’t fit together. It doesn’t make sense. Look at all those countless modules along its length. What do they do? They don’t do anything! It’s a quarter mile long, and it’s built for only 6 people? It’s meant to carry a lander? Where does the lander dock? Why are the useful airlocks so far off the center of gravity? Why does it have a cockpit? Why is the forward airlock so looooong? Why is the entire ship so loooooong? Why is the ring spinning so slowly? It’s not hard math to figure out how fast it needs to spin! You’re telling me you did ORBITAL DYNAMICS but not the SINGLE physics 101 equation needed to figure out how fast the ring needs to spin??

Btw, let’s talk about that rotating section in the middle! Think about the rotating section! That rotating section means that the front and the back of the ship aren’t actually connected! There’s just a pair of ring-shaped slip-slidey bearings bridging the ship’s middle, slip-slidey bearings that electricity, computer signals, and water and air pipes can’t cross. Why did they design it that way?? In the book the entire ship spun, which makes so much more sense! Why does it have solar panels when it has a reactor canonically capable of 40 times their output? Why are the fuel tanks so small? Why is it always facing prograde even when canonically burning retrograde? Why? WHY? BLRRRRGGGGGRGGGRGGG

In Conclusion, Ships Are Neat

[hopeymchope]

Magia Record: Reflecting on the Anime and the Game’s Story Ending

With Magia Record's story now complete in-game and with the anime "finished" (only the first season, but it took until literally this past weekend for the production team at Shaft to acknowledge that the second season is coming/inevitable), I have like… a ton of thoughts about where the game and the anime landed.

This will probably mostly be gripes, but overall, I'm still pretty happy with both. I've invested my past year into Magia Record during a lot of my free time, and hey – no regrets here. That game was absolutely worth the experience. The anime? Jury's still out somewhat, but it looks good so far.

This is definitely a normal thing to find surrounding a radio tower.

Anime Adaptation Thoughts:

The original Madoka Magica anime made the world feel slightly off-kilter by employing locations that were just a little off the rails from reality. The producers noted Madoka's bathroom as an important example; it's simply too large and has too much wasted space. It's maybe the biggest room in their house for no discernible reason, and that's by design, because it feels wrong. Another one was the music store we see in the first episode, where the technology is noticeably on a level that you just can't find in any real shop. On the flip side, the Magia Record anime creates a world that is deeply bizarre in many ways – much moreso than the original anime or the Magia Record game world. This is probably because the creator of the witch designs in the original was given far more creative control over the series as a whole this time around, and the result was BUGNUTS. Take note of the massive stack of discarded school desks that is arranged in a dangerous, precarious pile atop the school building (helpfully labeled as a waste pile, despite the fact that… well, who is picking up these garbage desks from the goddamn roof?). That's some imagery straight out of a witch's labyrinth, but it is ostensibly "reality." I think that's where Magia Record's anime really goes bugnuts, sometimes to powerful effect in that it makes things feel more unsettling… and sometimes to ridiculous effect. I mean, the field surrounding the radio tower now being replaced with a yard of jagged, cockeyed, towering gravestones and cross-like woodwork dangling with ropes and tridents? That's a LOT. That's… that's too much.

Look, if you were a die-hard fan of Kaede in the game, I am deeply sorry, because your girl got done DIRTY by the anime. Anyone who played the game who then sees where she winds up at the end of episode 12 is likely on a train straight to Double-You Tee Eff Station. I can't deny that it makes sense for the limited story she's given to develop across, but it was still disappointing to see. I suppose we don't really have the time to develop up all of the other characters from the game, so somebody had to sub in for this role… but oof.

Sana's backstory with her family is not nearly explained or explored enough in the show. I honestly think it comes off as confusingly unclear why they treated her like this or why they didn't notice her vanish at all. The game justifies this devastatingly well, but it feels like it's not clear at all here.

I think they could've had Kyubey run around Kamihama for part of the first season before he got ousted/blocked, and I think it would've been beneficial to do so. Now, that's not just because I love his character and find him fascinating, although that's definitely true, but it's also because there's so much exposition that I wish he could deliver to the characters about what's happened before we got here. Like, the tragic truth about Felicia's backstory is wonderfully awful, and I wish there was some way to deliver that into the anime, but I don't think it's possible without a ton of flashbacks. (And to be fair, players of the game may never know it without playing her particular Magical Girl Story.)

The change to not having Mami attack Yachiyo when they first meet was something I felt was a positive move. I loved that Mami got to have a moment she never had in the game during the Radio Tower arc, too. In generally, I enjoyed the slower, more piecemeal involvement of the original Holy Quintet, which has served as nice slow tease compared to having them be more upfront in the game. I did kind of miss the Madoka/Homura involvement in the radio tower case, but I ultimately came away feeling like it was better to save those two for later in the story because they're probably the best-known characters from the original series.

The combat soundtrack is exquisite - maybe better than ever before, honestly. The Magia Record anime has the best fight music in the series outside of, say, Rebellion.

Game's Ending Thoughts: (Spoilers Within)

The anime cutscenes in the final chapter are delightful.

Puella Magi has never shied away from having its characters die in the original anime or in the many manga stories. I'd argue that those deaths are at least part of what makes it such a successful subversion of the Magical Girl formula; the threat of death (often via witchiness) establishes the idea of there being permanent consequences that simple hope and faith and love can't overcome in spite of what those other anime may have told you. On the other hand, Magia Record turns out to have very close to zero consequences. Aside from established deaths from flashbacks that have occurred before the game even begins, by the end of the game, literally no one dies. Not even the most blatantly psychotic character is allowed to shuffle off her mortal coil; she just "disappears" and escapes. I particularly like (please note the sarcasm) how three different characters do some kind of "super-move" during the final two chapters that is said to most likely kill them, and yet they all survive them! At least ONE character winds up with some paralysis, but jeez, the others walk away completely unscathed. I can only hope the anime doesn't go quite so weak in the knees about any of the characters suffering actual consequences from the potentially-world-ending-level battles that occur.

I previously griped that I actually expected the psychos responsible for the entire storyline to get off scot-free, and although they don't get off 100% free and clear by the time the credits role, they come extremely close to doing so. However, I was really happy with the "Cherry Blossom Dreams" epilogue event, because there is dialogue in there that has the Magius admit that whatever guilt they have now, they are still capable of being complete sociopaths who want to dominate the Earth. That one person's presence (Ui) shouldn't be (and isn't) enough to keep them from being incredibly dangerous. Ultimately, the solution/punishment they receive is probably the best one available in light of their overall survival. Well done.

Speaking of the Magius, I mean… is it really possible that so many feathers never questioned that they were following a couple of 11/12-year-olds and one blatantly obvious psychotic? I guess having face time with the Magius was pretty rare, but there was still enough that some of the feathers declared their allegiance was primarily to those three above all else. And most magical girls range closer to 16 than to 11, I mean, y'know? Which is practically an eternity in terms of maturity. So I guess MIfuyu did a lot of heavy lifting on NOT making them seem like absolutely the worst possible choices for leadership, huh? (And for that reason: Mifuyu got off fucking LIGHT.)

Aaaand speaking of "one obvious psychotic," I find it funny how almost nobody knows Alina outside of her Magius role except for Karin. Because, just… it's so perfect. Karin (who is not a "Karen") happens to be the most insanely tolerant person when it comes to Alina. She seems to shrug off Alina's entire everything as amusing, forgivable quirks. Perhaps because so many people believe Karin's own obsession with Halloween is a weirdly morbid quirk, Karin doesn't even question Alina's obsession with making art about death using actual human remains. Which is… funny? No, seriously. I think it's legitimately comedic in a good way. But it should probably be much more alarming to me that she doesn't care. I'd like to think that Karen feels it's just delightfully Halloween-y for Alina to paint her canvas with legit blood, and I do believe Karin isn't really the kind of person who would ask where the blood came from because whatever, it's probably fine, better get back to planning my pageant or something. She probably even thinks Alina's skulls are plastic Halloween decorations. :P

We need to talk about Mami: Mami in "Another Story Chapter 9" felt so off and out-of-character compared to how she was written in things like Rebellion or A Different Story or Wraith Arc, and furthermore, despite that chapter being entirely about Mami wanting to just be a simple peer with no superiority over the rest of the Holy Quintet, Another Story Chapter 10 has her immediately revert back to being the smart senpai character, further cementing how weirdly "off" Chapter 9 felt. I realize they had something difficult to write, here, though. It's painful how Sayaka has to run middlewoman between Kyoko and Mami in Chapter 10 of AS. I feel like I could write a whole screed about Kyoko's behavior across the franchise and how difficult a character she is for me to like even though I "get it" and don't think she's necessarily a bad person; she's just living on the edge of being almost a total hypocrite basically ALL THE TIME. The conclusion where Kyoko acknowledges that she's going to continue to work with Mami and the others semi-regularly in spite of everything is really the best closure you can hope for with her. She's too antagonistic to give us much else, and she prefers it that way. It would take years to see her mellow.

At this point, it seems safe to assume that there isn't going to be any "season 2" of the game like what happened with Fate/Grand Order after its finale. The main narrative is well and truly done, and it's just going to be various events from here on out. Is that enough to keep me around? Um. I don't know. Probably not? Hard to say. I don't really know what other mobile game to throw my heart into. I've considered Attack on Titan Tactics, but like… Attack on Titan hasn't been kind to me lately so uhhhhh.

[jaybug-jabbers]

Pokemon Prism Review

Well I’m currently finishing up the post-game content of Pokemon Prism.

Dang.

What a fun game.

(what follows is an informal review of the game. it got a little long, lol. it has some spoilers for the game, of course.)

My background

To give you a quick idea on my perspective on Pokemon, I grew up with Pokemon Red on the big grey brick Gameboy. After Red, I pretty much stopped playing for many years. My little brother had a Gameboy Color and had Silver, but I never got one myself. Wasn’t ‘til years and years later I found some emulators and played through several generations of Pokemon at once. So, Gen 2 really isn’t nostalgic for me. It’s close enough to Gen 1 to hit some nostalgia buttons, though. I am admittedly somebody who feels Gen 1 is the best gen of pokemon. I don’t care of people laugh or say I’m a genwunner for believing that. Gen 1, I feel, had the raw creativity and charm of the original idea, and it simply sets my imagination alight far more than any other gen does. Those simple pixel designs for those little virtual creatures just opened up a world in my mind. THAT SAID, I did play and very much enjoyed all the other gens of pokemon. I do not shun things just because they are new, and I am not one of those people who says the new designs of pokemon are stupid. I adore plenty of modern pokes.

Blend of Old and New

Anyway! Pokemon Prism, for those unaware, is a ROM hack of Pokemon Crystal. It essentially delivers a brand-new Pokemon adventure for the Generation 2 games. It’s a really neat blend of classic gameplay and modern features. You’ll find species from modern games all the way from Gen 3 (such as Breloom) to Gen 6 (such as Sylveon) but their sprites perfectly integrate them organically into the Gen 2 environment. You’ll get many modern pokemon moves and conviences but also plenty of throwbacks to older experiences. Miss crafting pokeballs from Apricorns? It’s there. Enjoy a simplier time when there weren’t any Natures? Well, there ya go. Really want to call Joey and talk to him about his Rattata? Well, err, no, you can’t do that, but let’s face it, the telephone feature was probably one of the most hated features in Gen 2. :P

But Prism isn’t simply about updating Gen 2 with some modern pokemon, moves and game features. Not in the slightest. It’s full of original mechanics and gameplay concepts, and has tons of original areas and an original storyline. Pokemon is known for experimenting with new gameplay ideas, so it’s really fitting and enjoyable to see these take shape as you play the game. Mining and crafting is introduced in the game, for example, and there are a couple new pokemon types. There’s even a few sections where you can play as your pokemon, Mystery-Dungeon style. Do all of these experiments with new concepts work? Probably not ALL of them– when you try something new, not all of them will work out as amazing as you’d hope. But a lot of them are welcome and fun additions. And the game is bristling with these new ideas! It’s a joy to see so much creativity and novelty.

Sprites

It should be noted the spritework for these games is A+ and utterly fantastic. There is perhaps 3 or 4 out of dozens and dozens of new sprites that I thought were a tad off? Seriously, they look AMAZING and their animations are perfect and they fit in with the style so well I found myself briefly getting confused as to which were originally from Gen 2 and which weren’t. Saying these sprites are good is no small thing, because they are such a vital part of the game. The backsprites were not shafted, either– something even Gamefreak often shortchanged on back then.

Music

It should also be noted the music in this game is really damn good and has a huge variety. There are tons of classic songs, classic remakes of modern pokemon songs, remixes, and original tunes. There were like one or two tunes I was a bit iffy on, but considering that’s only a few out of so many, that’s impressive. The new bike music and Surfing music are probably my favorites, and they are SO GOOD, and those are especially important ones to sound good, because you typically hear those a lot.

Writing

The writing in this game is fairly solid. Not A+, but still not bad. It suffers occasionally from slightly rough and confusing grammar, and the climax of the story is definitely anti-climactic and very weak. In addition, the post-game story basically does not exist, but that can be excused since most likely more story was planned but they ran out of time. (C&D)

I also felt that at times, the story felt out-of-place within the world of Pokemon and went “too far” in the darker direction. The entire prison sequence, especially, and the frequent mention of inmates being mistreated, pokemon being abused, etc., just felt a bit much. Because this game was largely concerned with replicating the feeling of a true Pokemon game (some hacks intentionally focus on making a story that would never take place in the Pokemon world, like zombie survival horror stories or whatnot), I find it relevant to mention that. All of that said, though, its darker departures were at least not *too* extreme. We don’t get the very jarring and frequent problem of some ROM hacks where it’s full of cussing all the time or intense violence. Compared to those it’s still relatively subtle. And while the NPCs in this game I felt were rude a little too often, (holy crap, it felt like 95% of Naljo and Rijon were crankyass people) I do appreciate the attempts at making people a little more “real” and not quite so freaking happy and idealized all the time like Nintendo tends to do. The dialogue often made me chuckle. It did go a tad overboard with that “realness” (because, hey, a variety of people exist in the world, you know, both rude and polite, optimistic and bitter) but oh well.

So yes, the writing had its drawbacks. But overall, it felt like it was progressing a pokemon-style narrative with some interesting ideas, and wasn’t simply a dreary rehash of the same basic tropes Pokemon has been regurgitating for ages now. I just think if the writing were cleaned up a bit– the grammar cleaned up in a few sections, the plot threads clarified a bit more, and the climax reworked– it could take a “decent story” and make it a great one. There’s definitely some neat ideas there, it just needs polish.

Maps

As to the different towns and locations in this game to explore, there are many. This game is ambitious AF. As I said, it’s FULL of new ideas, features, things to do, and places to explore. Naljo is the region you explore in the main game, but post-game you can wander a whole new region of Rijon (the featured location of an older ROM hack, Pokemon Brown) and beat all the gyms there. In addition, there’s a few towns in Kanto and Johto you can visit (I believe they originally planned to open up all of those regions eventually), AND one town in ANOTHER new region, Tunod. The game’s ambitiousness occasionally outpaces what it delivers, but that’s quite acceptable in my mind, since updates with additions to the game were originally planned. So, yes, there isn’t much to do post-game, but that’s largely because a lot of stuff was going to be added.

Back to the locations, though! It’s an important aspect of ROM hacks. Not everyone is good at designing a good town, with logical building placement, intuitive layouts, aesthetically pleasing locations, and interesting things to explore so it doesn’t feel totally plain and lacks character. I’m pleased to say this game does a great job of it, though. I should point out I have a terrible sense of direction and bad spatial memory. Despite that fact, I found myself remembering important features and where they were located– oh, the Move Deleter house is in Phacelia on the left, the bullet train is in Torenia– and that’s a good sign. Physical travel was not a sloggy chore, and it wasn’t bogged down in a confusing layout. Towns were memorable and fun to explore.

Pacing/Level Curve

Another thing ROM hacks can screw up, because it’s a tricky thing to do, is the challenge pacing. How many trainers? What teams do they have? What levels? Are the Gyms challenging without being insane? I actually Nuzlocked the main part of the game. In my opinion it was well-paced. There’s probably fewer trainers overall in this game than a standard Pokemon game. But it did not take me much extra grinding in the grass– and I was only doing that to play it safe for the Nuzlocke. And that’s GOOD. You shouldn’t have to do tons of grinding in the grass all the time just to have a reasonable shot at the gyms. Pokemon Uranium, sadly, seems to suffer from that issue. So, yeah, the pacing was very reasonable to me, good balance of fair and challenging.

… with one important note. Once you reach the League? Well, we could have used higher-levelled wild pokemon in the cave that served as the victory road. The highest in that cave was level 34 or so, and you were facing trainers with teams ~level 55. That’s a huge gap. Not everyone has the same play style. Some people like to do extra grinding before the Elites. Some people are Nuzlocking and may do extra grinding as a safety buffer. Some people might want to adjust their team & add a new pokemon to their team and need to grind them up from a lower level. For those cases, you NEED decently-levelled wild pokemon to grind on. So, yeah, I really do think the Seneca Caves wild pokemon need a level buff. It would also help with the level gap for the post-game. Trainers in Rijon are suddenly at levels 70ish and higher, and for some folks playing, that’s a bit much and they’d like to do a little grinding first.

Puzzles

This game has puzzles. You have been warned, lol. Apparently a lot of people found the number of puzzles a bit frustrating, or felt that some of them were excessively tricky or annoying. I find it very funny, because usually puzzles are my least favorite part of a pokemon game. But I really enjoyed the puzzles in Prism and didn’t find it annoying or offputting at all. I was sick with a cold through most of my play of Prism, and yet even in my dumb brainaddled state, I didn’t find the puzzles too difficult. I solved them all at a pretty average length of time, even the ones some people traditionally found a little unclear or confusing. (the Ruins puzzle often confuses folks, apparently, but I really didn’t have a problem with it at all.) I was briefly confused on one of the switch puzzles (and it contained an element of bad puzzle design imo– there’s a gap that you can leap down into when normally a gap of that size just gives the ‘run into wall’ sound and is not passable) but not for too long. Even the ice slide puzzles, which I traditionally hate with a passion, were not bad!

All except for one thing. The Magikarp Puzzle. Anyone who has played Prism knows what I mean. Haha, fuck that puzzle man. Even the creator of the ROM hack himself has acknowledged the puzzle was not great, heh. To be honest, I find it kind of hilarious, in a way, though. I mean, obviously it’s a nightmarishly difficult and frustrating puzzle and is intensely exhausting to look at, let alone try to solve. But it’s also kinda glorious in its demonicness. I didn’t spend too much time on it before just looking up a solution to it. It’s tedious and not fun at all, and hey, that’s OK, because even the creator realized that.

pls nerf magikarp

But seriously, outside of the magikarp puzzle, I didn’t just enjoy the puzzles in this game– I felt like they were an important part of what gave this game its character.

Fakemon

There are even a few fakemon in this game! Which I was excited to learn because I thought there weren’t! All of the fakemon are Legenderies. Unfortunately, I don’t care for most of their designs. Like, at all. I think Varaneous and Libabeel’s sprites look really, really shitty. They’re ugly and don’t match the style of Pokemon at all. This feels weird to say, since I love so much about this game, but man, there’s just no way around it, I hate ‘em. Everyone has their own tastes, of course. There’s a couple fakemon I have yet to capture– I’m finishing that up now and the very very last of the post-game. But one fakemon I did capture and ADORE LIKE NO OTHER is Phancero.

I happen to know about Phancero’s designer, because I saw their design years ago. They apparently were approached by the team and were asked permission for the use of the design, which is awesome. I won’t rant again about Phancero here because I already ranted about it before, and literally could keep ranting for pages. :P But yeah, it’s a totally creative and awesome pokemon both in idea and execution, and by FAR my favorite fakemon ever created.

Conclusion

This is the best ROM hack I have played in years and probably ever. I haven’t played hundreds of ROM hacks, but I have probably played dozens over the years. I think they are a creative and wonderful expression of the pokemon community, but let’s be honest. There’s a lot of really bad ROM hacks out there. There’s even more ROM hacks that have a lot of potential but are never finished or anywhere near completion. (And that’s perfectly understandable. People run out of time, they have real life get in the way, etc.) The fact that not only did a ROM hack of this caliber get made, but was 95-99% completed? Is fantastic. It was an intensely massive project and I cannot begin to imagine how much work it must have been. Pokemon games are normally developed by an entire team at a company, and folks are paid to do it. The comparatively small team of devs who made this game in their spare time and implemented these amazing things had to do it all on their own. It’s no wonder it took as long as it did for them to finish it; and the amount of effort SHOWS. There is so much loving attention to detail and polish to Prism. (I mean, yes, there’s still some bugs and the occasional unfinished bits, but of course there are, those were going to be finished, but then the C&D hit)

Most ROM hacks are just strong in a few areas, because it’s one or two people who have strengths or interests in a few things. So, you’ll play a hack with a really good story but terrible fakemon and mapping, or you’ll play a hack with fantastic designs of new areas, but no new story, etc. Prism kinda has everything, though. It really did feel like playing a new Gen 2 game.

(It’s now almost 11pm and oh god where did the time go. I have a problem with being concise. :P This was far longer than I intended but thank you if you’ve read this far!)

This is a repost on a new blog. The original post was on Jan 17, 2017.

[nyxcharliechaos]

New project that I'm not dropping this time

ok so I have a history of dropping projects, I know it's bad but this one I've been really invested in

so backstory on this project, a couple months back I finally checked out the Ever After High webtoons and now I'm reading the books, boy did I get dragged into to this, which I have no issue with because I've always lover fairy tales (so the fact it took me till i was 16 to watch this is a shame especially cause I adored Monster high as a kid though in my defense i was very anti girly things as a child, something i very much am not anymore thanks to me be comfortably non-binary but that's a story for another day), basically this series along with monster high inspired me to make a comic i'm calling

The Tales Untold

or at least that's the working name, i feel it's not that original though, but i guess it's not as original as my personal project either, speaking of that, this is not just me working on this my best friend @lemonking00 is helping write/design/and draw this comic

so it's heavily inspired by ever after high is it a clone though? i like to think it's different enough but a bit of a synopsis might be for the best.

so basically the current idea is it's set in a world with literature of all kinds ranging from the obvious fairy tales, to old horror stories, and classical literature like the obvious choices of Alice in Wonderland, the Wizard of Oz, and Peter Pan, but other public domain stories like the Great Gatsby and Around the World in 80 days are also there (though due to my personal interest are mainly just for running gags and references), certain roles remain in families, usually fairy tale princesses and horror story monsters, villains are almost always different and side characters are rarely related (though not always not)

the story focuses on multiple characters living in this world of literature, the characters repeat the story and then live out their life but there's a bit more to it, one while they can avoid it it is rather difficult, the magic of the world basically actively tries to repeat the story, if they do avoid it nothing bad happens unless it's the third generation to skip where in that case they are forgotten, no one know what happens when you're forgotten so the bigger fairy tales actively try to make sure their stories repeat whether the kids want to or not, the horror stories have no fear because their stories change so drastically it doesn't matter what happens in their tale as long as it's written down who cares, and the classic just kinda exist, they either repeat (though usually try to tone down the more yikesy part of the original story though everyone does when it's not necessary) and if not they're in a sequel cause a lot of those stories have a lot of sequels

the story itself centers around the most recent cast/soon to be cast, with several fairy tales that are less than excited to go through their tales, the horror stories who don't care all that much but hey at least they're usually fun to be around, and some of the Wonderland kids who got sent to a school for general stories for being trouble makers and a bit too much for the adults of wonderland to deal with anymore

and the school, it's somewhat to help the students out with their future roles both in story and in general but like the headmaster is dead inside and p much lets the students do whatever, he was the writer for their grand parents, the writer basically writes down the stories and hopes the world accepts the telling.

there's a lot more to it but like you get the gist, i jokingly call it my ever after high rip off but the ideas i have for the plot are quite a bit different (doesn't mean i didn't borrow its idea for my version of little red and their family)

umm yeah if you have any questions you can ask me or lemonking

oh yeah and like there's p much no cis het characters if a character is in a straight relationship they're bi/pan, or trans

[huilian]

with her sweetened breath

AO3 Characters: Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Stephanie Brown, Barbara Gordon, Cassandra Cain, Damian Wayne

Summary: With the threat of an airborne drug, the Batfamily has to fight against the clock to contain it.Or, I found a plot hole in a previous fic and decided to write 5k of words to remedy that, but instead created much, much more plot holes.

A/N: In Flameo, Batman! I wrote about how Oracle can only narrow possible locations to 5, which means that the kidnappers are actually good, but then I didn't deliver on the fight scene. So I decided to write this, and ends up with 5k of the batfam actually being detectives. This is written almost in a S.W.A.T. like style, because my dad is obsessed with that show and so I watch it too.title from Hozier, Angel of Small Death and the Codein Scene. I thought it's fitting, since this fic is about drugs. (This is Chapter 1, btw.)

“Hey, Red, is it important? I’m kind of in the middle of a stakeout.” As he says that, Dick sees movement from inside the house. He really cannot keep talking to Tim, not if he wants to get as much information from this stakeout as possible. But Tim rarely calls in the middle of patrol, so Dick is assuming that this is important.

“Oh. Not really. I just want to give you a heads-up about B’s kidnapping a few weeks ago. Turns out there’s more to it than just the kidnapping.”

Dick curses under his breath. He knows that that rescue attempt was too easy for an organization that managed to fool Oracle. “Okay. Do you need me there? I can wrap this up in a few minutes if you need me.”

“Nah, I think between Hood, BB, Batgirl, me, Robin, and Batman, we pretty much got it covered. Just keeping you in the loop.” 

“Alright, Red.” If Tim says they can handle it, then they can handle it.  Besides, Dick has his own cases to work through. “Thanks for the info. Call if you need help?”

“You’re welcome, N. And sure, I’ll call if we need help.” 

“Nightwing! Get your ass here now!” 

“Hood? Is something wrong?” It’s been a few days after Tim calls about Bruce’s kidnapping, but since there were no other calls about that, Dick assumes that they are handling it.

“Oracle’ll brief you on the way, she’s currently tied up in something else. Just get your ass here now,” Jason practically shouts to the comm. 

“Is this about the kidnapping case?” Dick asks, just to be sure. 

“Just get your ass here, Dickwing! We need you here yesterday!”

“Shit, is it that serious?” Dick grabs the keys to his bike from the table. It’s lucky that he’s staying in today, working on connecting leads to the murder case on Young Street. If he’s out on patrol, it would take much longer to get to the bike.

“Oracle’ll give you the full briefing in a couple minutes. I’m also currently in the middle of something…” 

Two explosions, one after the other, come in from Jason’s end. It was loud enough to be heard over the comms.  

“Hood, are those gunshots?”

“Like I said, I’m currently in the middle of something. Just go to Gotham, we’ll meet you at the Cave.”

“Be careful, Hood.” 

“Yeah, yeah, see you there, ‘Wing.” 

“Yeah.” Tim shrugs. “Their original plan was to distract us, GCPD, and basically the entire city with Bruce Wayne’s kidnapping. We found broadcasting equipment in the warehouse B was held in. But we rescued B fast enough that they couldn’t really use his kidnapping as a distraction, so now they have to find a new distraction.”

“And their new distraction is to blow up the bridge? Haven’t we been through this before?” Dick remembers another case that he works with Tim that involves blowing up the bridge. He is not looking forward to repeating that. 

Tim grimaces. “You have to admit, blowing up the bridge is a pretty big distraction.” 

It is a big distraction. Not that Dick is going to admit that now. “How do we know this again? And how did we miss that they are part of a larger group?” Dick turns to Babs, who hasn’t stopped typing into the Batcomputer since he got here. 

“Since I am very rarely wrong, I found it suspicious that I found five hits to the possible location of B’s kidnapping, considering how easy you took them out.” That was Dick’s thought too, but he didn’t actually stick around long enough in Gotham after they ‘rescued’ Bruce that he got to say that to anyone. He could blame his abundance of cases in Blud, but he really should have said something. Thank god Babs also finds that odd. “I sent Steph to investigate the four ‘not-it’ warehouses. She found traces of this drug there. It’s a more potent version of fentanyl, almost up there with carfentanil. It has a similar composition to the bloodwork from an OD case a few months ago.”

“We thought it was just a guy experimenting with fentanyl and accidentally OD-ed himself, so we didn’t dig too much into it then,” Tim explains. 

“I’m guessing that is not the case here.”

“No.” Tim sighs. “That guy was actually part of the group that kidnapped Bruce. He either stole some for himself and misjudged the dosage, or he was the guinea pig for this drug. We have no time to investigate his death now, not with this new drug threatening to spill on the streets tonight.”

“Tonight? What are they planning?” Dick came to Gotham prepared for any situation, so this information that he is going to have to act sooner rather than later comes as a confirmation rather than information, really. He’s been preparing himself for it as soon as Jason called him. But still, it would have been nice to have been called for something that’s not as immediate as tonight once in a while. 

“They’re going to release this drug to the air. They have an airbender, which makes it so much easier for them,” Babs says. Airbender plus airborne drugs equals very bad news, especially with drugs as potent as carfentanil. It can cause hundreds of OD cases throughout the entire city. Is Gotham not already crazy enough for these people? “We think that they want to get the entire city hooked on this drug, then sell it to them at a very high price.” 

“Damn. Tonight, you say? Is there why it’s only the three of us here?” 

“Yeah. B’s with Cass and Damian coordinating with the GCPD on containment and evacuation.” Tim points to three dots, designated Batman, Robin, and Black Bat, on the GCPD building up on the map. 

“Smart. Cass and Damian may be the only ones capable of containing this kind of scenario.” 

“Steph and Jason are out on the docks, trying to scare some of the goons to giving up their boss’ location.” Tim points to another two dots. These two are actually moving pretty fast. Dick assumes that the two of them are chasing some goons. 

“Wait,” Dick frowns, “we still don’t know their location?” That can’t be good. 

“We figured out the locations of some of the caches they put to be released to the air, but we can’t guarantee that that’s all of them. And, considering the sizes of the warehouses that were used to store the drugs and the caches we’ve found, there’s still a significant amount of drugs missing. Those must be with the boss,” Babs says. 

“Which is why I’m here with Babs, trying to track them down. Also, it seemed that this drug is flammable, so I thought it’s prudent to stay out of the field.” 

Tim actually has remarkably good control over his fire and he can fight just fine without his bending, all of them could, but Dick currently does not have time to debate that. He files it in his mental note for a later date. “Okay, what do you need me to do?” 

Babs and Tim look at each other. “A third pair of eyes won’t hurt,” Tim says.

“Don’t you think it’s better for him to be out on the streets? Hood and Batgirl haven't checked in yet, they might be in trouble.” 

Right as Babs finished that sentence, the Cave’s speaker turns on. “Hood to the Cave, Hood to the Cave.” 

“Speak of the devil,” Babs says. 

 Dick presses the mike button on the cave, then says, “Come in, Hood.” 

“Oh, good, you’re here, ‘Wing. O, Red, we got several locations, but they’re all contradicting each other. I don’t know how useful this is going to be.” 

“Any additional data is going to be useful, Hood. Where is it?” Babs opens a new window on the Batcomputer, ready to type in and analyze everything Jason is going to say.  

“One said that he’s on Crime Alley, 31st Street. Another one said he’s camping near Arkham, just a few blocks from it. One said he’s on the grounds of Gotham U.” 

“Fuck him very much for that, by the way. Who tries to release drugs on university grounds? Haven’t college students suffered enough?” 

“Focus, Batgirl.” 

“Right. Some of them said he’s on Robinsville, but some also said he’s on the Bowery, King’s Street. For all it’s worth, all of them seemed very sure about their answers, and they’re all also confused about why their fellow henchmen are giving out different answers.” 

“How sure are they?” Tim asks. 

“Sure enough that the firebenders are willing to get iced,” Jason says grimly.

“Damn.” 

“Yep.”

“How come this guy is in five places at once?” Babs frowns at the screen. “Maybe these are just decoys?” 

“No, I don’t think so, Babs. For a firebender to be willing to get iced, they must be super sure of themselves. Even I don’t want to get iced.” Tim shivers. Dick knows for a fact that Steph has once iced Tim, so Tim is speaking from memory at that one. Dick has been iced before too, but the experience is totally different for a firebender, what with their source of power being the fire inside and all. “Oh, that reminds me. Hood, please tell me you didn’t actually ice them.” 

“Nah, Replacement.” Tim sighs in relief. “Blondie here did.” 

“What!” Tim exclaims. 

“Shut up, Hood! I can and will ice you too!” 

“Try it, Blondie. I’m a waterbender too, remember?” 

“Children, focus,” Babs says. “Let’s assume that this guy is in five places at once. How is he doing that? Meta powers? Spirit world connection? If he has a spirit world connection this case might just turn out to be worse than it already is.” 

“Wait,” Dick says, tracing the five places Babs has highlighted on the map. “What if he’s not in five places at once?”

“Are we not acting on the assumption that the henchmen are giving accurate information?” Babs looks at him. 

“It can be accurate without him being in five places at once, Babs. What if he’s just moving between these places so fast that when they check in to see where he is, they all get different answers?” 

“Huh. That is certainly more plausible. But the speed in which he must have moved suggests that…” 

“He’s an airbender. Only airbenders can move that fast. It tracks, though. We already know they have an airbender to release the drug. That airbender is just the boss.”

“If he’s the airbender, he can make sure that he inhaled none of the drugs himself. Oh!” Babs claps her hands. “That’s genius, Former Boy Wonder!” 

“Hey, I’m a former boy wonder too!” Jason cries out. 

“Same here!”

“I literally had the longest run as Robin, after N here,” Tim adds.  

Babs sighs. “You guys really are children, aren’t you? Someone not me please tell Batman about this. I’m going to run an analysis on airbenders outside the League who’s in Gotham right now. There shouldn’t be too many of them.” 

“Speaking of the League,” Dick turns to Tim, “are we sure it’s not them?” 

“I don’t think so, ‘Wing. This is not their MO.” 

“Yeah. Besides, neither Talia nor Ra’s have any interest in these kinds of drugs. I don’t think it’s them.” 

If both Tim and Jason, their current resident expert on the League, say that it’s not the League, then Dick is inclined to believe them. They have spent a considerable amount of time with the League to not pick up on their tendencies. “Okay. Let’s rule out the League for now. Any hits yet, Babs?”

“No. There are still quite a few airbenders around, even discounting the League, you know?” 

Dick nods. Even though most of the airbenders are present in the League, there are still several groups outside of the League who have their own airbenders. Not to mention the occasional airbenders who’re not affiliated with any of the groups but still managed to master their craft. 

Then, the Cave is bathed in red light, with alarms sounding from all the speakers in the Cave. 

Dick curses. “What’s that, Red?” 

“It’s Bruce’s alarm. Whoever he is, he’s making his move now.” 

“Alright, Hood, Batgirl, head over to B’s location now. I’m also moving out right now. Red, you coming?” 

“No, I’ll look into containment options other than airbending from here. I’m not risking a city wide fire.” 

Dick nods. He really needs to have that conversation with Tim about why he doesn’t want to go out to the field today, but that unfortunately has to wait. “Oracle, keep us posted. B’s in GCPD headquarters, yes?” 

“That’s what his last location is. His tracker is down.” 

“What about Robin’s? Or Black Bat’s?” Dick asks. 

“They’re still at GCPD.” 

“Okay. I’m heading to GCPD now. Hood, Batgirl?” 

“Already on our way, ‘Wing!” Steph says. 

“Good.” Dick mounts his bike and zooms out of the Cave door that either Tim or Babs must have opened for him. He tries to hail Bruce on the way to GCPD. “Nightwing to Batman, Nightwing to Batman, come in.” 

Silence. 

Dick tries again. “Nightwing to Batman, Nightwing to Batman, come in!” 

The same as before, silence. The fact that both Batman’s tracker and his comm are down is very concerning, especially at nights like this, when Bruce knows he has to communicate with the entire family. 

“Shit. Oracle, Batman’s not answering. When did his tracker go down?” 

“His tracker went down right before he pinged the Cave,” Babs says. “Try hailing Robin. I’ll hail Black Bat. Maybe they know where Batman went.” 

“‘Kay, O. Nightwing to Robin, Nightwing to Robin.” 

Static. At least it’s not silence, which meant that Robin still has his comms, he just can’t reach it to answer. That’s marginally better. Still not reassuring, though. 

“Oracle, I’m getting static from Robin’s com.” 

“I’m getting the same thing from Black Bat’s com. Maybe they are in the middle of containing the drugs? That would make them unable to answer the coms.” 

Dick wills his bike to go even faster, even as he’s already riding at breakneck speed. “Maybe, O. Let’s hope it’s not something worse.”

[raijinhasverybigpecs]

THE RE-UP: Tu’er Shen, the Leveret Spirit 🐇

“While other gods may proclaim endlessly over the power they have over their domains, causing no end of trouble for their fellow pantheon members and their followers as a result, Tu’er Shen patiently and quietly tends to those who request his services with unmatched loyalty and dedication.”

Name: Tu’er Shen, the Leveret Spirit​

​Pantheon: Chinese, Minor Diety​

Class: Hunter/Healer Hybrid, Medium Difficulty​

Positives: Healer, High Movement​

Negatives: Hybrid Specialisations​

please click on the read more for everything else lol

appearance details 🐇

old (above) vs new (below)

so perhaps i made him a bara rabbit after all lmao. blame the new outfit and how much better it’d look if tu’er shen has big ol bitties to work with :^) it’s still the same hair as the ears work really well with that colour but the basically the whole face has changed to be a lil more Dramatic(tm). the makeup skills have also improved with new tu’er shen rocking more subtle eyeliner alongside some very pretty and shiny pink liner. the eyes are also another major change, they’re a pretty grey as it goes nice with his hair. i still love the idea of his eyes changing colour according to his mood and grey is just a neutral mood :^) anyways, yes he looks beautiful, yes you can compliment him!

outfit details 🐇

tu’er shen now has an in-game outfit!! yay 🥳 it’s been a while coming mostly bc i have no art or visual character design skills but i’m pretty proud of how this turned out lol. it’s super cute and p goddamn chinese if i say so myself but it’s still very hoe and feels modern enough to fit smite’s standards i feel lol. big thanks to @izahunny​ (who is dead on that blog but a clown on twitter) for helping me with designing the outfit, the back layers and lil extra dress fabric for the front bottom left corner of the dress were his idea and they make everything much more balanced 🥰 i didn’t add a weapon but he’s just using a bow, i might update this later if i care enough to add that lmao

abilities 🐇

(please note that i am terrible with stats and don’t care about how viable in-game he actually is, these are just general ideas and the stats can be changed lol)

PASSIVE - Protector​

Tu’er Shen passively grants a medium range aura of regenation around him to his allies, increasing their HPS, MPS and magical and physical protections by 5% of their totals for each statistic. Additionally, Tu’er Shen gains a 3% movement speed bonus every 4 levels.​

40 unit aura radius, 5% increase of total HPS, MPS and protections​

3% bonus movement speed every 4 levels, total bonus is 12% at level 20​

ABILITY 1​ - Passion Arrow​

Tu’er Shen charges his arrows with passion, amplifying his next basic attacks with a small AOE on hit or at max basic attack range and causing them to go through minions. If Tu’er Shen hits an ally while Passion Arrow is active, he heals them for a flat amount. If an enemy is hit the charges deal increased damage on impact and if they are hit 3 times they are charmed and walk harmlessly towards Tu’er Shen for 1.5 seconds.​

Cooldown: 10 seconds

3/3/4/5/5 charges, Heal: 50/75/95/125/150 + 30% scaling​

Extra damage: 10/30/60/90/120, Mana cost: 55/60/70/75/85​

ABILITY 2​ - Matchmaker​

Tu’er Shen calls upon his matchmaking skills to select and connect two allied gods or one ally and one enemy god with each other in a 55 unit targeter. If two allies are linked then their damage is increased by 10% and they receive a heal over time. If an ally and an enemy are connected then the enemy is revealed to Tu’er Shen’s team and the enemy deals 20% less damage to their partner. Additionally, the connected ally receives 50% of their enemy partner’s healing.​

Cooldown: 20/19/18/17/16 secs​ 

Duration: 6 seconds, Heal over time: 20/25/30/35/40 + 20% scaling​

HOT ticks every 1 second, Mana cost: 50/55/60/65/70​

ABILITY 3​ - Bunny Hop​

Tu’er Shen hops in the direction he is currently travelling. If Tu’er Shen hits a wall, player-made deployable or god he bounces off the surface, doubling his movement. Additionally, enemy gods are stunned for 1 second upon impact. Tu’er Shen can store 1 charge of this ability.​

Cooldown: 14/13/12/11/10 secs

2 charges maximum, range of 55 with an amplified range of 110 units​

Damage: 100/150/200/250/300 + 100% scaling, Mana cost: 70/80/90/100/110 mana​

ULTIMATE​ - Romantic Rush​

Tu’er Shen, after a short duration, channels the full extent of his love powers, amplifying all of his basic attacks with the effects of Passion Arrow for 10 seconds. If an ally is hit and they are at full health they receive a a health shield equal to half of Passion Arrow’s healing. On enemy hit, the charm duration is doubled but they cannot be charmed again while Romantic Rush is active. The effects of Matchmaker are doubled and Tu’er Shen receives a 20% damage buff if he is linked with another male god.​

Cooldown: 80 seconds

Duration: 10 seconds​

Mana cost: 80/90/100/110/120 mana​

lore 🐇

While other gods may proclaim endlessly over the power they have over their domains, causing no end of trouble for their fellow pantheon members and their followers as a result, Tu’er Shen patiently and quietly tends to those who request his services with unmatched loyalty and dedication. For he is not a god who takes to the spotlight easily, but one who will see his responsibilities through to help and protect those who he serves, an opportunity he was once not afforded in his youth.​

​Such are the origins of Tu’er Shen, the Leveret God. ​

​Once a young man known as Hu Tianbao, he fell deeply in love with a handsome imperial inspector of Fujian Province. Such was the intensity of his love that he looked upon the inspector while he bathed, peering at him through a bathroom wall. Tianbao was caught in the act, confessing his sincere affections for the other man in hopes of reaching an understanding. The inspector was quick to retaliate in violence, sentencing him to death by beating.

Underworld officials, seeing his crime as one of love, sought to justify his death by appointing him the god and safe guarder of homosexual affections. A month after his death, he appeared in the dreams of a man from his hometown – not as Hu Tianbao but reborn as Tu’er Shen. From this came the erection of a humble shrine for his worship and Tu’er Shen has dutifully served those who seek him ever since.​

​The battlefield of the gods is a strange place to find Tu’er Shen, usually one so far removed from the world of ugly violence and mindless bloodshed. Even so, perhaps love can soothe and heal the wounds caused by the warring of pantheons, or maybe it can even help end the war in some way. Knowing firsthand the true cost of thoughtless hate and violence, Tu’er Shen picks up his bow in the hope that he can protect even one person of those who cannot protect themselves in the war of the gods.

voicelines 🐇

god selection

“Tu’er Shen!” (duh)

introduction

“Is anyone in need of my services?”

“Let’s see what I can do.”

“Wonder if there are any cute gods around? Wait, no! Work first, then play later!”

“In their own ways, everyone here is fighting for love.”

(this isn’t an official one but as a joke it was highly entertaining) “Come on Season 6 let’s get sickening!”

abilities

ability 1 - passion arrow

“Fallen for me yet?”

“I’ve got you!”

“Coming for your heart!”

ability 2 - matchmaker

self/ally match - male gods only

“Our connection is strong.”

“Let your heart speak to me.”

self/ally match - general

“Together we’re stronger.”

“I’ve got your back.”

ally/ally match

“You’d make a good pair.”

“Another successful match.”

ally/enemy

“Swipe left next time!”

“This’ll end badly.”

ability 3 - bunny hop

“Excuse me!”

“Coming through!”

ability 4/ultimate - romantic rush

“Feel the love!”

low health

“I will not give in just yet.”

“I don’t mind playing rough, but this is a bit too much even for me…”

items

when placing wards

“Reveal their hearts to me little ward.”

“Any romantic confessions I should be aware of?”

when buying consumables

“Isn’t this interesting?”

“The colour is lovely.”

when buying offensive items

“I don’t want to harm others but if I must.”

“Love hurts indeed…”

when buying defensive items

“Will this protect my ears?”

“Hope this won’t slow me down.”

“Even the gods have to use a little protection.”

kills

when in a killstreak

“I can heal them later on, right?”

“Love never misses its mark.”

when killing a jungle boss

“That creature was awfully big…”

“Thank you for your sacrifice.”

when destroying a tower

“Love conquers all, man and structure alike.”

“Ack, that’s so loud!”

death

“You’ll never kill my spirit…”

“Love is eternal…”

directed voicelines

Aphrodite - “It’s a great honour to finally meet the goddess of love, I have much to learn from you.”​

Cupid - “Speaking from... past experiences, it seems as though you should work on your aim.”​

Jing Wei & Xing Tian - “I admire your perseverance in the face of insurmountable odds, we are not too dissimilar in that way.”​

Loki - “If you haven’t already, I suggest you pay Chiron a visit at some point. He is single after all...”​

Bellona - “Any luck asking Amaterasu out yet? She’s still waiting for you to make a move you know..”​

Raijin - “I’m willing to bet you’re more satisfying in bed than you are an opponent on the battlefield.”​

Bacchus - “I’m not the drinking type... but perhaps you’d like to come in for tea?’​

Achilles - “How’s Patroclus doing? Maybe you should spar with him more often, you’ve gotten rusty.”​

Apollo - “Playing the lyre isn’t the only thing you make look easy.”​

Ravana - “When I see you, the term ‘rope bunny’ comes to mind...”​

jokes

“I hope Cupid doesn’t get jealous of all the time I’m spending with Aphrodite…”​

“Technically I’m not this closely associated with actual rabbits, but the aesthetic was too cute to pass up.”​

“Considering what I’ve been through, I think I’ve earnt the right to proud of who I am.”​

“It is technically homophobia if you hit me. Just saying.”​

“The Jade Rabbit? He’s certainly cute... but I think there’s another rabbit who’s cuter.”​

taunts

Animation: Tu’er Shen draws a neon heart in the air, shooting an arrow through it shortly after.

“[Yawns] I think I might have a nap, perhaps that’ll give you a chance to catch up.”​

“You have an awfully big weapon there, are you compensating for something?”​

“I’ll show you why they say love hurts.”​

“Fighting for your overblown ego isn’t a good reason to wage war.”​

“Take it from a matchmaker, I don’t think anyone’s standards are low enough for you.”​

skin concepts 🐇

new tu’er shen body

floral fairy

squeaky clean, night corps, bunny server

country cowboy, casual, devilish

old tu’er shen body

kitsune, spring revelry, leather bunny

hello nurse, debonair devil 

old notes 🐇

this concept is super inspired by Kaios’ concept for Tu’er Shen (which you’ll find linked in the description of this post), i loved his ideas for rabbit lad and wanted to add more to the concept. my final kit concept is a lil bit similar but i think i’ve changed enough for it to not be a copy lmao. anyways, i’ve wanted a hunter support since i played tyrande a while ago in heroes of the storm. she was super fun and the mix of dealing strong consistent damage and still being able to support allies is something i’d kill to have in smite​

​tu’er shen is also a really cool god, and recently I’ve been prokoved by my mutuals making lots of god concepts when i haven’t made any in a very long time lol (if you remember my other smite oc you’re a real stan). obvs i don’t think hi-rez would do him justice and gamerbros would totally complain about the Gays™ shoving their unsatiable need for Representation™ down their throats and what not but it’s still a fun concept regardless!

new notes 🐇

he’s back and 10x beefier and sluttier looking than ever lmao. the self-insert squad may be missing plenty of people (y’all better come back like...) but it’d be a waste of time and effort to not do more with tu’er shen. also i love him so! i’m still kinda sad over twink tu’er shen being replaced by bara tu’er shen but it’s for the best, he’s v handsome now and big ol bitties in that dress? iconic. he does fit better into the male cast, the added beef makes him more attractive to basically everyone (he’s serving taric teas now lol) and he was a soldier so there’s plenty of reasons to make him a hunk. anyways... i don’t have much to say about the outfit than it’s flawless lol. it was interesting and p fun to make although i always feel awkward about posting drawn stuff in a serious context. it’s weird but i’m happy about the final product 🥰 i’ll try to write more stuff about him soon but don’t expect too much lol

links/resources 🐇

personal

headcanons (they’re a lil outdated in reference to his body lol)

tu’er shen’s tag

original post

my smite oc tag

other

kaios’ super cool concept for tu’er shen you should check out as it’s cooler than mine lol. his art of tu’er shen goes full furry and it’s kinda cute ngl

other links you can read for more information about tu’er shen: 1, 2

a beautiful short film about tu’er shen helping a guy accept his sexuality, gore warning towards the end

thanks for reading if you got to the end! please send asks or whatever, i’m dying for any excuse to talk about him lmao 🐇

[darkdevasofdestruction]

OC asks - YuGiOh & Assassins Creed

OH YES, THIS IS GONNA BE FUN~!

--- YU-GI-OH

1. What is your OC’s favorite color?

She loves green! It’s a calming colour that highlight her eyes and gives her a more alluring look.

2. Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect?

Not sure if it counts, as she doesn’t collect physical things, but she loves to take pictures of everything that makes her happy and look at them from time to time.

3. What kind of things is your OC allergic to?

Idiocy. 

4. What kind of clothing does your OC wear?

Black jeans, with a regular green top, a black vest-like trench coat and knee length black boots, so pretty basic.

5. What is your OC’s first memory?

Uhhhh......Like, as a child?  I suppose it’d be when her mother smiled at her and gave her the family heirloom, the Millennium Medallion.

6. What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite?

She loves all animals, but at first, she loved Wolves the most, since she thought it would suit her loner personality. Her least favourite animal were, ironically, foxes, because her father blamed every mistake on her and her ironic name.  That is, until she meets Seto and Mokie, and becomes friends with Yugi’s group, who taught her that instead of listening to the bad stuff, she should make her own name meaning, and since then, she wore her name and spirit animal proudly.

7. What element would your OC be?

BYFIREBEPURGED

Well, if we go by elements meaning, I think either Earth, because she is a nurturing and healing person who helps others without realising. Either that, or water, because she is calm and relaxes people, but she can also become an outright tsunami.

8. What is your OC’s theme song?

I think “Too Late” by Dead by Sunrise, since it shows how desperate she was to find an escape from the darkness she succumbed to once her mother and younger sister were killed in a car accident and she was left under the strict hand of her father who had inhumane expectations of her and wanted only perfection and for her to follow the path he dictates.

9. Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC?

I never thought of that, to be fair? For voiceclaims no, but I imagine her to have a pretty versatile voice, feminine and casual most of the time, but can go low enough to either sound alluring or have a hint of poison darkness.

As for face claims, while creating my Game of Thrones OC, I stumbled upon this picture and she’s been my “faceclaim” if I can’t do a drawing of her, or if the fandom doesn’t have anime/cartoon characters, but real people.

10. What deadly sin would best represent your OC?

For a long time, I’m pretty sure it would be Envy, because she’s see happy people with no family issues, and envies them so much, having dark thoughts about them.

11. What are your OC’s hobbies?

Games of all kinds, travelling, staying in the nature, relaxing outside.

12. How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they?

She’s incredibly patient with everyone and everything, in most situation, but can’t handle bad behaviour and dumb questions, especially if repeated, and especially if she’s tired, concentrating or the repetition of the conditions is a much too high number.

13. What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.?

Kitsune is a human girl, but I haven’t thought of her sexuality or romantic orientation before, since she’s only ever attracted to Seto.

14. What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods?

She loves any kind of home-made food, but can’t stand some sea-food dishes.

15. If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why?

Do foxes count?  If not, dogs and snakes would be her first options.

16. What does your OC smell like?

Okay, so, there’s this perfume and shower gel that I love so much and they smell SO good, like chocolate...So yes, that exactly.

17. How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job?

She’s a student, so she has no actual job, but her dream job revolves around technology - Either a programmer or a game developer, both options, later, allowing her to work together with Seto.

18. What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths?

She’s afraid of being manipulated and controlled again, insects and loneliness. Her biggest weakness is her kindness and the fact that she has a hard time denying anyone’s requests, so she can very often be walked all over, if someone doesn’t interfere. Her strengths are her perseverance and ambition that keep her going on and not giving up.

19. What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song?

She loves rock, trap and indie songs mostly, and has a hard time choosing only one song, but one of them would be Scorpions - “Still Loving You”.

20. If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do?

Honestly, the Yu-Gi-Oh world is pretty similar to ours, so I don’t think it would be a huge problem to adapt, and would try to make friends and pursue her dreams.

21. What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves?

Apart from her family issues with her mother and younger sister dying and her father being a controlling jerk? She gets pretty restless when she feels something is wrong, and would go in an overly-protective mode and often get herself in trouble.

Her pet peeves are when people chew too loud, being too loud in general, people looking at her phone and people who aren’t punctual or go back on their promises.

22. What kind of student were they/would they be in high school?

“The Nerd” trope. Straight As, loner, shy, but that’s mostly because of her father and how he’d punish her if she didn’t do perfect, and would move her to other schools/cities each year, depending on where his business would lead him.

23. What is a random fact about your OC?

Her hair has more personality than she has. No matter how much she tries, she can’t get it nice and neat, so she stopped caring and leaves it as untameable as it wants it to be.

24. What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living?

She’s a realist that can often slide down to pessimism or fatalism, as she doesn’t actually have any experience in the real world and is afraid of failing  and ruining everything around her.

25. What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fan-character? What was their personality / design like when you first made them?

Honestly? She’s based on me and how I really am or I’d want to be, in a way. I love how I look with red hair, and I love foxes and their various portrayals and meanings, so I used them to create Kitsune, but instead of giving her black eyes, like I have, I gave her green eyes, like emeralds, to give her that touch of mysterious seductive aura around her.

26. Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why?

The most important person ALIVE in her life is Seto, because he was the one to take her away from her father and show her they are more than their bad parenting and tragic backstory. (Basically, after some exam results were showed, and she didn’t get the marks he expected, her father went to the principal’s office and realising the girl was using her mother’s old Duel Monsters, proceeding on lighting it on fire, making the girl freak out and put the slightly aflame deck in the principal’s aquarium, before having an outright breakdown, only for Seto to get mad and sass out the father, who was supposed to be a future business partner. When she left the school, she saw Seto and went to thank him, but he only asked if she wanted to babysit Mokuba for a short period of time when he’ll be in another country with business, and from then on, they bond.) On the other hand, the least important person, who still impacts her life, is her father, for the reasons stated before.

27. What kind of childhood did your character have?

Does it count as your usual sob story? Because until she was 13, her childhood was the dream childhood, but when her mother died, it all went down the drain.

28. What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions?

She tends to wet and bite her bottom lip a lot, she always walks out with earphones and music at max volume to avoid anxiety, walks fast when alone, focuses on her phone to combat the same anxiety and awkwardness, and when impatient or focused, she plays with a strand of her hair, drums her fingers on the table (she likes it when she hears the tapping of her nails), or bounces her leg.

29. If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose?

Game over. Respawn time : 3...2...1...

30. Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why?

She can’t stand children, they annoy her very much and especially doesn’t want to go through the whole childbirth mess, or have her child hate her. As for marriage...She is afraid of marriages, of rather said, of the possible heartbreak of a divorce, but she wouldn’t actually mind having a dream/fairy tale like small wedding, to make everything beautiful and ethereal.

31. What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory?

Her most traumatic experience is hearing that her mother and sister got in a car accident, and while her mother was killed on the spot, her sister died in the hospital, in front of her, not long after giving her her favourite Duel Monsters card : Madolche Cruffsant , just because it was hella cute.

Her favourite memory is either her mother teaching her Duel Monsters, or her reading her Disney Princess stories.

32. If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be?

Her mother and sister back to life.

33. Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why?

She’d only kill in self-defense or to save someone else, otherwise, the farthest she’d go, is a hell of a beating.

34. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

In a group of friends, she’s the moral and emotional support of the group, as well as the one to attempt to stop others from doing impulsive and reckless decisions.

In a game, she’d be the healer, priest, shaman or white mage.

35. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?

Her imagination goes through the roof, as she always day-dreams about literally everything and anything and reads a lot. Yeah, she does worry a lot and lives in the past, but she’s trying to work on it.

36. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

She needs affections, validation and comfort. (Give her a hug pls) She’s used without it, so she wouldn’t do anything physically/aggressively to obtain it, but it’s eating her alive when she’s overthinking and doubting herself. Other than that, she knows she can obtain everything she wants by herself and just a bit of work.

37. What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do?

I don’t think she does anything special that she does and others don’t... But she likes to carry Mokuba on her shoulders.

38. What would your character do with a million dollars?

Would make sure she doesn’t have to depend on anyone’s money, since she can’t stand being a burden to anyone, and would use the rest to make even more money, so one day, when she’ has a proper and constant living, she could help create animal shelters and donate to different charities.

39. What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can?

Bubbly soda, water, chocolate and food in the fridge. A fluffy carpet on the floor and nothing else. Her laptop, a bottle of water and a bag of snacks. Fruit remains, empty snacks bags and other random useless things.

40. Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with?

She’s going on a calm walk on the shore, barefeet, with Seto, feet in water and letting the breeze mess up her hair even more. Kitsune’s wearing a soft coloured flowery patterned  dress that’s above the knee, it’s flowy and somehow transparent with an underskirt, and the sleeves are long and loose, all the paired with a pair of sneakers that she can easily take off, knowing she’s going to the beach.

41. What does your character do when they’re angry? Why?

It takes a LOT to make her to visibly show her anger, but she’s going to become extremely verbally aggressive, insulting, sarcastic, barely able to keep herself from getting physical.

42. Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from?

Nope, she’s clean.

43. What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said?

“If I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb your ego and jump down to your IQ, that’s lower than your shoe size. In fact, it’s non-existent, much like my respect for you. Get the hell out of my sight, can’t you see nobody wants you here? You’re going to be missed like the leprosy.”

44. How does your character react/ accept criticism?

If it’s not actually an insult or a rude remark, she’ll listen and see what she can do with the advice, more more often than not, she still does whatever she thinks it’s right.

45. If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza?

She never tried pineapple pizza, so she’s not sure how she’d react, but it’s just 1 slice, so it won’t kill her. She’s not a huge pineapple fan though.

46. Your character is given a voodoo doll of themselves. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works? She takes a needle and gently pokes her hand, and if it’s actually true, she’s gonna keep that doll a secret for safe-keeping, so nobody will ever be able to use it.

47. Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle?

She’s not THE best artist in the world, but she draws cute things like flowers from time to time to relax. As well as that, she draws flowery borders on her notebook pages.

48. What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult?

I already talked too much about her father, but her mother was a sweet and kind soul, and incredibly ambitious and playful and competitive, which is why she won countless gaming competitions. Her mother’s angelic soul and kindness was the way she wanted to grow to be, and whenever she gets angry, she gets reminded of her father and hates herself for doing something he does that she hates so much.

49. Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush?

She loves sweets, but she doesn’t feel the need to eat too many, especially at the same time, so she doesn’t get sugar rushes, nor does she get hyper.

50. If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count?

She would cry a lot and would try anything in her power to alter her fate, but if it isn’t possible, she’ll try to spend as much quality time with Seto, Mokie and Yugi’s gang as possible.

---

ASSASSINS CREED

I haven’t gotten around to actually drawing anything for AC unfortunately, and I’m not sure I’ll ever get around to do it ^^”

---

1. What is your OC’s favorite color?

She loves Green and Blue, but the longer she stays in Masyaf, the more she misses the beautiful shade range of purple and lavender.

2. Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect?

In her time, she didn’t collect anything, but when she traveled back in time to Masyaf’s 1191 timeline, she started picking different flowers, pressing them in an empty tome that Malik gifted to her, and together with him, she would draw the flower on the other page, and write information about the plant in cause, with the help of her beloved Malik, both in her language and in his.

3. What kind of things is your OC allergic to?

As to quote a line from the Secret Crusade novel...

“Stupid Altair. Arrogant Altair. He was in trouble.”

4. What kind of clothing does your OC wear?

During her time, in the Japanese Brotherhood, as she is the Master Assassin of the Stealth branch, she wears mostly black, light clothes that allow her to sneak around, spy, snipe and blend in.

In Masyaf time, she had to wear the usual male Assassin outfit that literally engulfs her, which is really annoying as she can’t play to her strengths, so she has to fight quite a lot to get some practical adjustments to the outfit, and ones that won’t attract civilian nor templar unwanted attention.

5. What is your OC’s first memory?

Her elder brother singing this song to her : LULLABY

6. What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite?

She loves foxes so much. She knows she looks like one, and she uses everything to her advantage, and since she doesn’t actually remember her real name, she chose “Kitsune” as her assassin name.

Also, keep spiders away from her, or she’ll feel her soul leave her body in a split second.

7. What element would your OC be?

Fire. Without a speck of doubt. She’s a little, smug firecracker.

8. What is your OC’s theme song?

I think “Demons” by Starset works pretty well, as whilst she’s a strong person, she still has moments of weakness and needs someone by her side, before she loses control of herself and become someone she’d hate.

9. Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC?

Same person as before. I don’t know who she is, but she’s my muse.

10. What deadly sin would best represent your OC?

I believe Pride is going to give her a looot of trouble.

11. What are your OC’s hobbies?

She loves ice skating, singing, dancing in the moonlight and chilling on the grassy ground, watching the clouds pass by.

12. How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they?

This little firecracker is somewhere in the middle ground, because yes, she is definitely patient in a lot of circumstances, but Gods, when she gets angry or impatient, you can literally see fire around her.

13. What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.?

Kitsune is a human girl who never thought of love, as she was married to her work as an assassin, but when she arrives in Masyaf, she falls in love with Malik Al’Sayf.

14. What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods?

Cherries! She loves fruits in general, but she LOVES to seductively eats strawberries or tie cherry steam knots! On the other hand, she won’t eat anything that looks weird or not aesthetic.

15. If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why?

Give this girl a horse, she loves feeling the feeling of wind in her face as she feels the horse speeding up! It’s like she’s on a motorbike again, but a bit different!

16. What does your OC smell like?

Vanilla and Roses <3

17. How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job?

Kitsune is the Master Assassin of the Japanese Brotherhood’s Stealth Branch, so it’s needless to say that she gets her pay from this.

18. What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths?

She fears getting close to anyone, only to have them dying on her again, just like her parents and older brother. Her weaknesses are her physical strength, her fear of the unknown and the fear of failure. She is small, fast and agile, has an amazing sight and always does her job at perfection, thanks to her ruthlessness, and can easily seduce and manipulate people with words and a simple bat of her long lashes.

19. What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song?

Give her the loudest rock music and the best trap and dubstep remixes, she loves the energy she gets from those kids of songs.

20. If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do?

She is from our world...Sort of, so she won’t have too much of a problem living her life at leisure.

21. What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves?

She has a hard time straying from the rules or showing mercy because she’s been brought up by the Brotherhood since she was 7. Her parents died at such a young age (as they too were assassins) that she doesn’t remember them, and the man who took care of her, as per her parents’ death wish, died when she had to assist him on her first mission, at 12 years old, which was a chaos and he died saving her so she could make sure the mission was a success.

Her pet peeves are people getting too close to her when talking, breathing too loudly, children misbehaving and slow internet.

22. What kind of student were they/would they be in high school?

She didn’t actually go to a regular school, but was trained and taught by the brotherhood, where she was an incredibly perfectionist and diligent student.

23. What is a random fact about your OC?

She absolutely L O V E S to playfully flirt with people she likes, which makes Malik the one to endure all her flirting.

24. What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living?

She doesn’t care if she dies or not, as long as she’s happy. She’s an assassin, she’s been fearless for as long as she can remember.

25. What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fan-character? What was their personality / design like when you first made them?

I love Malik, I want someone to flirt a lot with him, I flirt a lot with my friends, and hell, Kitsune, as I said, she basically myself with green eyes and maybe better make up skills. 

26. Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them that still has an impact and why?

The most important person in her life that is alive is Malik now, as her “Elder brother” died, and she never got personally close to anyone in the brotherhood, only professionally.

There’s nobody who really influences her negatively, apart from her own self and her perfectionism/over-thinking or the brotherhood creed.

You could say that, half-jokingly, her least favourite person is Altair because he’s a jerk who caused Malik to lose his arm and Kadar to die, but she forgives him when she sees true redemption in him.

27. What kind of childhood did your character have?

It was a pretty basic childhood, her elder brother taking care of her while studying and training for the brotherhood, and for her, that was normality so nothing was weird.

28. What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions?

She bites her lip very hard, until the point she draws blood, she cracks her knuckles a lot and she has a sort of internet addiction that went down the drain when she went back in time and realised her Brotherhood wouldn’t/couldn’t bring her back in her times.

29. If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose?

I went down in the flames of success, so better throw my ashes in the Haunted Mansion from Disneyland Paris, or I’m gonna haunt everyone.

30. Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why?

She’s an assassin, so she sees no reason to marry, or worse, have children, which she can’t stand. However, that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t want to to wear a pretty dress, have a nice hairstyle and make up and dance in the moonlight, alone, with Malik. It’s the closest she would get to a normal, domestic family.

31. What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory?

Her brother dying in front of her, and him yelling for her to finish the mission and return to the Brotherhood, otherwise they’d kill her is a scene that still haunts her every nightmare.

On the other hand, her favourite memory is her brother singing to her that Lullaby, something which she took up and would sometimes sing to Malik, or would sneak out at night and sing while dancing by herself, trying to find a bit of freedom and sense of self.

32. If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be?

Her brother back...And maybe some fucking WiFi and electricity...And a bathtub...With bath bombs...And scented candles...

33. Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why?

She’s an assassin who struggles with showing mercy, need I say more?

34. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

She’s the one who flirts and jokes a lot, I guess you could say she’s the popular girl stereotype?

In an RPG, she’d be the assassin, rogue or even warlock or necromancer, without a doubt.

35. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?

She doesn’t have too much time to day-dream, but now that she’s stuck in the past, she has more free time to do nothing but imagine random scenarios that would never happen.

Kitsune doesn’t live in the past or future, she lives in the moment...In a way that is borderline robotic and as if she tries to forget the fact that she’s human at all.

36. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

She wants to find a life that won’t bind her to the Brotherhood in a way that she’d have to sacrifice everything for it. She wants a normal life that still has some of the assassin thrill, but not the risks...Keep the adrenaline though, she hates getting bored.

She doesn’t know yet what or how to achieve this utopia, but perhaps the fact that she’s in the past, with a Brotherhood that she’s not officially part of, might prove enough for her.

37. What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do?

Does anyone flirt in Assassins Creed 1? Because if they don’t, Kitsune does A LOT.

38. What would your character do with a million dollars?

She’d take Malik with her and travel the world, exploring every inch of it, away from everybody she knows, and going to all theme and amusement parks.

39. What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can?

Her laptop, phone and tablet on the nightstand, along with a water bottle and food. She has notebooks and ink and feathers on the ground next to her bed, since she’s usually too lazy to go to the table. There’s...No fridge in Masyaf, unfortunatelly...No more chocolate or ice cream... Lots of sketches and messed up scrolls in the trash.

40. Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with?

She’s so used to wearing either assassin or sexy clothes, that she chooses to wear something so simple and casual, like a pair of sneakers and a simple sundress, taking Malik on a walk at night, as during the day she wouldn’t really be able to dress as revealing, in public.

41. What does your character do when they’re angry? Why?

She tries to calm herself, but when she can’t help herself, she’d either go physically or verbally violent and harsh, depending on the gravity of the situation.

It doesn’t take long to piss her off, but it takes a LOT to actually get her to lose her temper.

42. Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from?

She has a scar on the left side of her face, going from the forehead, to her eye and down to the middle of her cheek, because of the accident in Solomon’s Temple when she sneaked to get the artifact.

43. What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said?

“Tell me… Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted? Why Don’t You Slip Into Something More Comfortable. Like A Coma? Wait, don’t worry, I can help with that. Whatever permission you thought you had to speak to me, I hereby remove. Honestly, did I ask you anything? No? Good, because nobody asked for your opinion, you filthy little mudblood.”

44. How does your character react/ accept criticism?

Can’t take it, especially if it’s not sugar coated or said in a gentle way, so she could understand it’s not an insult or an attack, but a suggestion.

She’d do whatever she wants regardless.

45. If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza?

Pick up the pineapple slices, throw them at Altair’s face, then eat the pizza slice with no problem.

46. Your character is given a voodoo doll of themselves. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works?

Would keep it safer than her own heart and would try to track down whoever did the doll, in order to kill them. She doesn’t need potential killers on her case.

47. Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle?

She’s not too bad, but she likes drawings plants, animals and landscapes, which is why she likes to draw every plant she collects. On the other hand, she can’t doodle when absent-minded, she only taps the front of the pen on the table or paper.

48. What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult?

She didn’t really know them, as they died when she was too young, so they didn’t exactly affect her in any way. They weren’t bad people, despite being assassins, but as far as she heard around the Brotherhood, they were diligent, intelligent and reliable, so she was proud to be their daughter.

49. Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush?

She doesn’t get sugar rushes, nor does she eat too many sweets at once, but if she’s in a playful mood, she can get a bit more energetic than usual.

50. If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count?

She’d try to see if it can be avoided, but if not, not a big deal for her. She’d just do the weirdest things possible and spend quality time with Malik and Altair, maybe even trying to make the Masyaf Brotherhood a better place, teaching them new healing methods and whatever...If she was in a good mood, at least.

[moonsfurbyden]

Before you read most of this, go check out the other full videos of Rizmo on my Instagram. It helps to see these in action, and with sound.(don’t worry, I don’t talk!) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6GdAwNglFb/?igshid=10iftw61w09cd here’s a handy dandy link for ya!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Moon bethian (@ofthemoonian) on Dec 15, 2019 at 9:06am PST

So. This is kinda my official review of Rizmo I guess. I got a lot to say about this little dude.

I suggest watching these with sound on btw, while I don’t talk it helps with what I’m about to explain.

Let me start this off with, I do not intend to throw Rizmo away, or break him. Ever. I treat him with just as much care as I treat my furby’s. I wouldn’t of bought Rizmo if I wasn’t at least interested in him visually and wanted him for that. I do like Rizmo visually and a little tiny bit interaction wise. I don’t hate him. Keep this in mind.

Now, onto the ups and downs.

I can at least say that he does do as the box suggests. Sings, evolves, etc etc. I think the biggest downfall about Rizmo as a whole is that other then the basic knowledge I had no way to know what I was in for. Hardly anyone has reviewed this toy that ISNT a child. Only one good video is what I could find with adults in it. And that’s it. So going into getting him I didn’t know how interactive he was or what he felt like or anything.

You get him, he’s a ball, with two little light up eyes. Over tune he grows a tail, and after that he evolves into what you see here. This whole function of evolving works amazingly well, the problem is that I don’t see a kid actually maintaining interest long enough. To evolve Rizmo you need to play minigames and sing(or talk in my case) to him. Which comes down to either rolling him around a lot for the mini game, or singing(or talking loudly) into his face. This took me about a hour and a half(or around that mark)to grind through. And that was me nonstop trying to evolve him. Most kids don’t have the patience for this, especially since the only true interaction you get from the toy is the minigames and singing and such. It���s bare bones basic. The only ‘interaction’ mechanically you get is he reacts to being bounced around. Nothing else. No tummy sensors, to head sensors.

And I will directly begin to compare him to Furby’s. Two generations in fact. The 1998 lines, and the 2005 lines. Both of these toys can interact in a multitude of ways. And learn over time. It’s a pet simulator to be honest and it keeps the kids interested cause it feels like they actually are interacting with you, as a person. Not just being there ready to be interacted with. Additionally it’s a small peeve but Rizmo hardly moves. His ears and tail are static. His front paws(hands?)are just fabric. And the only pieces that move are his feet, and his jaw. I friendly basic movements compared to something such as say, a 2016 furby. Who wiggles around at such break neck speeds sometimes they get unbalanced and tip over. Even something like the older 1998 furby’s are incredibly expressive, just with eyes, ears, and beak. And a slight shifting movement you can get a ton more expression. They don’t feel static. For the price of 40$, this is just... incredibly basic. Furby’s of the 1998 era were 20$ back then and very pricey, and still are today and are worth their money more.

As a extra extra side note, most people complained and still do, that original 1998 furby’s are LOUD. While I can agree some are incredibly loud, they have nothing on Rizmo. The sweet silence of my house once I turned him off was deafening almost, because he was so loud. He was loud enough to a point that when I turned one of my 1998 furby’s on, they thought he was loud. He was the same volume to them as someone raising their voice, or clapping loudly. I feel sorry for the parents who have to hear this toy.

Onto my biggest beef. This toy is fragile. Incredibly fragile. I do not know how a child won’t break this toy, even by accident. He is made of what sounds and feels like the most thin plastic ever on the side. 80% of this toy is hollow on the inside. Not a lick of stuffing seen, which makes sense for the evolving mechanics. But they chose the nose incredibly thin fur type that in a year, if your kid loves this toy will be probably losing its fur over time. Because of this thin fur you can feel the skeleton inside completely. His eyes are stationed inside the painfully hollow skull that you can feel around in through his incredibly empty mouth. I could actually unpop his eyes with no effort from the small holes in his skeleton inside. His torso has two plastic ‘rib cages’ i guess you’d call them, that expand when he evolves the first time. Once in this finally form you can feel that these are hollow shells almost that you can latch your fingers into with his loose fur. The fur is so lose intact he tends to have a bump or buckle on the top of his head in the back because it’s design to be taught to the skull when curled up. He has a light on his tummy in this form they I’m afraid I might jab since it’s precariously empty feeling as well. His paws(hands?) aren’t even stuffed and are empty tubes of fabric. His ears have a snap back hinge that I’m 100% certain a child will break. Same as his tail which also has a snap back hinge. Additionally, his whole mechanical end of things seems to have the mechanics, whole even turned off, to curl back up?? I am unsure if this is even purposeful or not. But I can see that getting jammed easily by a kid forcefully doing that. You can see me do this with both his feet, and his jaw(his ribs can also do this)and I’m hardly putting any effort into doing so.

Nothing in my mind makes me think this toy is good for children. The mechanics are easily boring, and the toy itself is fragile as heck feeling. Any kid who likes to cuddle toys won’t be happy with this. Unlike a furby who are solid, yes. But they have thick fur that makes them feel a lot more plush. And they can handle two decades worth of use and damage and still work, to this day. There’s something to be said when a toy form 2019 is more fragile and breakable then a toy in 1998 who has survived two decades of their life being played with and left in antics and yet somehow still work, and aren’t broken most of the time.

My verdict? Way until Rizmo goes on sale even more. It’s not worth 40$. And if you want one like me because it makes you think of a furby almost, wait also. It will go on sale, and when it drops down it’ll be more worth it. They already are. Amazon has the pink Rizmo right now for 30$. And the other colors for a little more.

[cassolotl]

The story of when I went French-viral and the French lesbians were mean to me

Friday 5th July 2019

~

Last month I posted a tweet promoting my Pride flag handwarmers.

I don’t really do custom orders, so I just posted what I currently had in stock from knitting in front of the TV. I hadn’t had many sales recently so there were quite a few pairs in my handwarmer box.

Pretty much right away I got quote-tweets, in English and French, from French lesbians complaining about lesbian erasure, pointing their friends at me to draw attention to the lack of lesbian pride flag in my range. I also got many replies specifically saying things like, “I can’t support you if you don’t have the lesbian flag” or “it’s disgusting that you represent every group except lesbians” or “yet again, another person who doesn’t care about us.” Some were even directly very nasty. (It was a very stressful time, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Going viral is the worst and I didn’t even get that many RTs.)

To begin with I tried telling them that the reason I’ve never made lesbian flag handwarmers is because no one has ever requested them, and so I’ve never been able to justify investing in buying several new shades of yarn for handwarmers that I had no reason to think would sell. The implication was that if you wanted some lesbian flag handwarmers you’d just have to request them. This didn’t seem to work; they just told me it was all very disappointing. Okay, time to change tack.

I considered telling them that the original lesbian flag was designed for lipstick lesbians only, is widely considered problematic, and has resulted in many adaptations and alternatives, none of which is the “standard” flag, and so when someone requests the lesbian flag (which, again, no one has ever done) I have no way of knowing which one they mean.

Instead, I started replying in English and broken French, asking people if they would like to put themselves down on my waiting list for a pair of lesbian flag handwarmers. I said something like, “would you like to buy some lesbian flag handwarmers? If I make them they’d be £15 plus P&P from the UK to your country,” or, “would you like some lesbian flag handwarmers? You can fill in this form to be notified when I make them, so you can buy them before anyone else. [URL]”

When asked to justify myself, I explained that every flag has to be requested first so that I know people actually want to buy it, and that if I get enough requests that would be evidence that lesbian flag handwarmers would sell, which means I can safely buy yarn knowing I won’t lose money. I am absolutely open to making lesbian flag handwarmers and would love to do that, but I’m a random queer disabled indie knitter, I can’t afford to go around buying yarn for handwarmers that no one wants to buy!

I got replies in the following rough categories. If you have ever had anything go viral on Twitter, none of these will surprise you.

No, I just think you should have them in stock anyway. It’s really sad when lesbians aren’t represented.

No, thank you.

[no reply]

[enthusiastic French swearing and insults]

For the entire time that I was getting extra handwarmer attention and all those lesbians were getting pissed off that I wasn’t stocking lesbian flag handwarmers, one person enquired privately about lesbian flag handwarmers, on Mastodon rather than on Twitter, for their friend. I still have no reason to think that a lesbian flag handwarmer design would sell, at all. None of the people demanding I make things for them wanted to actually buy those things. My stance remains the same: If you’re only willing to hypothetically buy the thing, I’ll only be willing to hypothetically make it.

But this is the point of my post, right. While I was going viral on French-Twitter for being a lesbian-erasing monster, I had more sales of handwarmers in one month than I have ever had in years. Every sale but one was to France.

So what I’m basically getting at is, when you highlight oppressive behaviour in order to make fun of it or raise awareness or stir up outrage, you are heavily promoting oppressors. Angry lesbians advertised my wares better than anything else I have ever done, better than any positive attention has ever managed. Personal endorsement to interested followers is something brands pay big bucks to influencers for, but outrage does this for free.

Think about this before you reblog/RT homophobia, transphobia, racism. Don’t give bigotry attention without a really good, hard-hitting reason. If you have to do that, make it as difficult as possible for the bigots to find each other and benefit from your post by blurring out names and avatars and URLs. Social media is powerful. Don’t use it to give more attention to TERFs and white supremacists.