#this is my longest post yet

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[zonzolik]

this gave me the idea of a Wild West AU cinematic masterpiece, so hear me out:

*scene in a loud typically western pub* The flipping door flings open. Everyone turns to the door and falls silent. *dramatic western music starts playing*

*cut to a close up to the bottom of the door, slowly going up, showing the coming one in detail* First there a cowboy boots with spurs. Then leather trousers. Belt with revolvers hanging damn low on the man's hips. Fringed shirt with leathered shoulders and cuffs. Scarf around neck. Smug grin on thin lips. Wide hat brim covering the upper half of his face. All his clothes are black, except for that crimson scarf.

The man slowly walks to the bar, spurs clapping against the wooden floor, a swing to his hips, staring directly at Aziraphale, the warm-hearted owner of the pub, who's currently cleaning a glass. Crowley sits on a stool in the exact middle of the bar. That one is always free, the other customers wouldn't dare to sit there.

As Crowley sits, the overall noise is slowly coming back and Aziraphale pours Crowley his usual and slides it across the bar. Crowley catches the glass singlehandedly.

I would have loved to watch the Western minisode Neil had planned for season 2

Not only because I'm dying to see Crowley wearing cowboy boots and cowboy hats, but mainly because we know horses and Crowley are not the biggest fans of each other

I was so ready to hear him complain about the horses and America for 20 minutes

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Thank you all for an incredible 500 days of love and support. I offer you: answers to questions that no one has asked.

(As always, more can be found in the tags <3)

[ruporas]

kisses of affirmation (ID in alt)

[warblogs17282]

Stolas within parties, and unhealthy coping mechanisms. (Featuring Blitz)

Let's start with a bit of concerning behavior in regards to the happy pills.

We see Stolas take two pills at the start of the day, the day where he's about to meet Blitz again for the first time in years.

But when we see Stolas again after the events of s1 e7? He takes three pills, so at some point between these two moments in time, Stolas upped his dosage, and honestly, my guess is that the of events of s1 e7 is the start of Stolas upping his dosage, although I don't have any evidence to support this. While this doesn't point to anything in specific, it's still behavior to be a bit concerned about.

The Parties and Problem Drinking.

One of the things that interested me the most was Stolas being able to call Verosika's party as being about 'mutual pettiness' so quickly, and that got me thinking about the similarities between the parties that Stella hosted, and the parties that Verosika hosted.

In this part, Stolas feels rather isolated in contrast to the rest of the party talking to each other and having fun, and it's also clear to see that Stolas feels uncomfortable as well. Both of these are obviously because of the fact he still has feelings for Blitz and has just generally been isolated his whole life, but it also shows us a noticeable parallel between this party and the ones that Stella would throw.

Stolas is isolated and uncomfortable yet again. Sure Stolas is uncomfortable at Stella's parties for different reasons, but there's still two links between them I can notice.

The first being the reasons why both parties have been thrown in the first place, and the second being Stolas' relationship with alcohol in regards to parties.

"Stolas, you know I like throwing parties!" This implies that Stella throws parties quite often, and considering how these parties are really just thinly veiled excuses to allow Stella to gossip and chat shit about Stolas to her friends while being right next to Stolas, it gives us another reason as to why Stolas is uncomfortable being at Verosika's party besides his feelings for Blitz and being isolated his whole life.

It's because one of the main reasons Verosika's parties were thrown was to shit talk and to antagonize Blitz, or 'celebrating mutual pettiness' as Stolas rightfully calls it. There's various other reasons why I don't exactly believe that the primary reason why Verosika threw the parties was to 'help others cope', that I've covered before. It's clear in her behavior both inside the party and outside the party (for example, s1 e3), that Verosika hated Blitz for what he did to her before. (I'm not claiming that Verosika isn't allowed to be angry at Blitz for that, but her behavior up to this point is 100% going overboard.)

Alongside the violence against the Blitz shaped merch and cakes (which I will cover in this post), we see Verosika openly insulting Blitz to the entire crowd, and we know that Stella would insult Stolas to her friends at her parties. So, it wouldn't surprise me if another part of the reason of why Stolas is so uncomfortable is because he's been in a similar situation before to what Verosika is doing with the parties in regards to Blitz.

So, another thing we know is that Stella uses physical violence against Stolas, as shown by the time she attempts to backhand him in s2 e1.

Guess what we see a whole bunch of during the party against the Blitz dolls? Sure it's a bit exaggerated with the knives and mallets etc, but it's still physical violence, so it's reasonable to assume another part of the reason why Stolas was uncomfortable at the party was because of his own experiences with physical violence.

"Plus, it's true, so you know you can come if you want." - Stella

"I felt it rude not to stop by." - Stolas

I believe that these two quotes point to a sense of obligation to show up and stay at the parties for at least a little bit regardless of if the party makes you feel uncomfortable. Like that Stolas felt like he had to at least make an appearance and stay for a little bit.

Which begs the question, why does Stolas stay so long at Verosika's party, despite saying "I really shouldn't stay long."?

Two interconnected reasons come to mind. The first being the fact that Stolas was already starting to get himself drunk at the start of the party, which just naturally leads to Stolas just drinking more.

The second reason is probably because of the song. Stolas was very much just thrown into the spotlight and told to sing about his relationship with Blitz, so I wouldn't be surprised if that indirectly pressured him into drinking more, something I cover in the next section.

I think something that we haven't really considered is the PROGRESSION of Stolas drinking in both parties.

Stella's Party: The party starts, Stolas naturally doesn't want to be there and feels uncomfortable, but most likely feels like he's obligated to stay and make an appearance, so he starts it off by drinking a little wine. Then the most difficult part of the day happens, Stella starts talking shit about Stolas to her friends, right in front of Stolas as well. So I assume in an attempt to make the party more bearable for him, he gets the strongest thing he can get his hands on and just starts chugging the bottle.

Verosika's Party: Stolas joins mid-way through, feels uncomfortable being at the party for a few reasons, but again, most likely feels obligated to stay for at least a little while to make an appearance, so he starts drinking from the cups a little. Then Stolas gets to a difficult and emotionally taxing part of the night, the part where he's basically thrown into the spotlight, and made to sing about his relationship with Blitz, around 23-24 hours after the full moon argument. So the emotions surrounding that are still very raw for Stolas.

After that point you see Stolas start drinking a lot more, starting to chug that cup. Plus, when Blitz starts talking to Stolas, he also starts chugging the bottle itself quite a lot, in what I guess was because he was already partly drunk by that point, and in what I think was an attempt to dull his emotions more to most likely make the night more bearable for him.

At least, I think that was the general thought process behind the progression of Stolas drinking in both parties. The scenarios between them both are quite different, but I still think that there's some similarities to be noted here.

So, in conclusion, I believe that part of the reason why Stolas has an issue with problem drinking is because of Stella's parties, and that there's quite a few similarities to be noted between Verosika's party and Stella's party.

Of course, I can't make a post on problem drinking without mentioning the time that Stolas most likely got blackout drunk after the events of s1 e7.

Blitz and Addiction.

Now, I wonder just how many of you thought the question of 'Why is Blitz so concerned about Stolas throwing it back like this?' and the answer lies in Blitz's history with drinking, and addiction.

Let's start with Blitz's father, Cash, it's implied that he's an alcoholic, both from the picture below and from the line "Remember how you used to distract my dad so I could steal his booze?", which tells us that Cash kept himself stocked up on booze all the time. So it shows us that Cash's likely alcoholism was always a part of Blitz's life, all up until Blitz left the circus.

There's also Barbie Wire who got addicted, although on a substance named H-8, instead of booze. We don't know exactly when Barbie Wire got addicted to H-8, but because Blitz says "Oh. Thank, Satan.", and the fact that Barbie Wire means a lot to Blitz, it shows that her getting addicted to H-8 most likely effected Blitz in some negative way.

Finally, Blitz has seen it again with Verosika, who is also an alcoholic, who went to rehab for it but got out because of her celebrity status. When she exactly became an alcoholic and went to rehab we don't know.

Something to note here is that, according to a study, addiction tends to run in families, and dialogue in the Queen Bee episode suggests that Blitz attended those parties Beelzebub hosts a lot in the past, because of this line "He-hey, I knew it was you! Fuck, man, where you been? You here for the party?" and "Come in and show us all up again.", implying that Blitz used to be a regular at her parties.

Plus, in truth seekers, Blitz admits to doing a lot of drugs in college.

The only times we see Blitz drink during this show has been in social settings, and sure while Blitz did invite Moxxie and Millie once on screen to a dive bar, that doesn't change the point I'm making at all.

So, what the show is trying to tell us is that Blitz did a lot of drugs and alcohol in the past, and nowadays he's not completely avoiding alcohol, but the only times he'll drink is in social settings.

Regardless of how bad things have gotten for him, such as Ozzie's for example, Blitz refuses to drink or do drugs at all, he just ended up having a cry session on the couch and just consumed ice cream. Compared to Stolas who dealt with everything by most likely getting blackout drunk.

I imagine that Blitz very intentionally limits himself on doing drugs and alcohol, because he knows so many people that have the issue of addiction.

[dreamyluigi]

i'd like to take a minute to explain in weird, unnecessary detail each of my favorite different iterations of luigi. for no reason in particular. he's always the same, but he's always just a little bit different in each series that he's given a significant role. okay here we go

S+

→ 2023 movie: might just barely be my favorite version of his character - i feel like the movie gave him a little sprinkle of all the traits from all the other media in the franchise and solidified his Entire character. he's a coward, but he's extremely brave and resilient, he's just a lil cocky and a lil awkward, and absolutely stuck like glue to his bro. also he's just erm like uh ridiculously handsome. A Very Balanced Luigi Meal i couldn't ask for anything more (other than giving him an even bigger role in the second movie! please! even though i was extremely happy to see him as the damsel!!!)

→ paper luigi: (hopefully) one of the most universally loved because of his arrogance and lil bit extra sass. luigi often acts proud i think as a bit of a mask, but paper luigi really gives us a show of it. he's also just very funny. still very clumsy/accident prone, still very awkward and weak to manipulation/praise. sometimes acts like he's superior to mario (yet still very, very dependent on him and even angry and a lil sassy/spiteful when he's left behind) and i just also think that's really funny. i like how intelligent systems plays around with him, and i hope they continue to do so in the next paper mario luigi game :)

S

→ M&L RPGs: when you are soooo stupid that you are a genius, and actually? you have a special power that no one else in the world has and you're going to save us all? because you are the specialest boy in the world? but you are so stupid.. but you're a fucking genius. what a delightful guy. possibly the silliest of the luigis. always lookin head empty but he can imagine anything. so powerful. but also the clingiest - brothership really did a number for his clingy nature. what do you mean you're gonna cry and die if you're more than 20 steps away from your brother. omg. baby. baby boy. the spoiledest luigi as well.

→ luigi's mansion: i just love how wet and trembly and pathetic he can be. we know he's a coward, but they crank the coward meter up to 1000 with him here - and ghosts being the thing that gets him most is very endearing to me. maybe because i'm not afraid of ghosts idk he's very very cute in these games with his silly expressions and constant jumping and screaming. his weird relationship with e gadd is also just so special. remember! bravery is not the absence of fear, but the will to overcome it.

→ super mario adventures comic: his quips and stupid puns have captivated me. he's honestly not a far cry from his super show cartoon counterpart, but i love him just a little more probably due to the art of the comic and his role overall. i don't have much to say but i just really like him in this very special peak fiction comic okay also he wore a dress TWICE. king shit

A

→ the great mission: my god what the fuck is that thing. who is this guy. no but for real i enjoy this version of him so much - it's such a far cry from how we know him as a character now, but there are lots of things about "beta wario" that still reflect luigi today. love of money/treasure is definitely still there just not as greedy as his old counterpart, the bit of sass and cheekiness is there, even a bit of his spoiled nature too. this guy is so selfish and a little bit nasty and i find him delightful. him callin mario アニキ in japanese is also crazy.

→ super show (cartoon): this pessimistic little bitch always thinks he is going to die in every scenario no matter how inconsequential and i fucking love him. he's often absolutely useless. i also just love the voice and his stupid goofy lines. not integral much anymore to the current luigi personality but there's a little bit of mama luigi in everything i do. there's a little bit of 'holy ravioli' in us all.

→ odyssey: now. listen. he doesn't do much. i know. but his various reactions to mario's outfits and the environments are really good. it feels really special despite his very small role. entirely non-judgemental of his brother's choices. will support him no matter what weird fashion he's into. will even feel his presence when he's invisible. it's very important to me. and the bowtie is so moe i can't stand it

→ super show (live action): even more rude than previous rude luigis like what's his fucking problem. i don't see much of this guy's personality in current luigi at all other than the wee bit of sass i guess. but that doesn't mean i don't love him and this stupid show that no one takes as canon anyways but all luigis are canon to me sorry

B - not inherently different iterations of luigi, and not technically any "worse" than the ones listed above, but...

→ super mario maker 2: call luigi. he will just fucking do it for you. what an absolute legend, a god, perhaps. everyone say thank you.

→ dr. luigi: i have some headcanons but nothing much to say canon wise, he just looks cute and he deserved it. but they should've put his ass back in the nurse's dress

→ tennis/golf luigi: i just like to see him have a good time. also i like seeing his hair and the outfits are cute. i could include the olypmic games and others since he's just the same with different cute fits. uh these explanations are starting to deteriorate

→ cat luigi: his noises... the nyas... neowow... okayyyy. he also is very cat-coded to me anyway. it just fits. i think he purrs when his head is pat while getting praised. i love catboys

→ gooigi: it's gooigi dude. does he even count? what the hell, sure. he's cute... that's all :3

this was kinda supposed to be me analyzing the different versions of luigi and how they compare to each other but it's kind of just a luigi lovedump post... (what do you expect from me at this point?) any missing from this list i'm either not familiar enough with or he doesn't have a big enough role to warrant like a Character Analysis i guess.

which is your favorite version of luigi? which aspects of his character do you like most? for me, it's everything. he's everything. okay bye

[thenewgirl76]

I'll Make You Believe

While the whole "asking a ghost how they died is the worst taboo ever, so don't do it or you'll be in a world of hurt" headcanon is always fun to implement to either create temporary conflict or simply move the story along, I think it'd work just as well on both ends if it was only a minor offense.

Like if you were to ask a once living ecto being how they died the most negative response you'd get would either be some variation of "None of your business puny mortal" or an explanation using the most vividly graphic, stomach turning details as an act of petty revenge as well as insurance you never ask again.

So what could possibly be a way more serious, far more dangerous no-no when it comes to ghosts instead? Well, how about stating ghosts don't exist/there's no such things as ghosts? The reason why being you're invalidating the trauma they've experienced in their last moments.

Makes no difference whether you were aware of this or not. If they find out or worse, it's said to their face? You better hope they'll settle for beating you black-and-blue. Because the alternative is becoming a ghost yourself by the time they're done with you.

Now in dpxyj fics when Danny interacts with Wally and the whole "ghost are/aren't real" argument between them comes into play it's usually depicted as a trivial disagreement. But what if you were to make it more angsty by inserting this take on lack of ghostly etiquette?

Let's say after getting to know his teammates better Danny starts talking about his origins (in vague detail) and exploits, only to eventually be interrupted by Kid Flash declaring that he can't possibly be a ghost as they don't exist. And Robin, Aqualad, Miss Martian, and Superboy all become quite alarmed watching Danny go from easygoing to looking ready to beat Kid Flash to a pulp, as he's now fighting back his ghostly nature. To avoid giving in to the urge he abruptly leaves with a dismissive attitude, much to KF's confusion.

From there it spirals. KF, not realizing he's poking a hornets nest continuing to voice his skepticism whenever the opportunity comes up and each time Danny barely manages to keep it together. Until one day Danny in an explosive rage snatches up KF and in a tone colder than ice tells him he knows what he is, what he went through to reach that state, and that he has no need to justify any of it to him.

Then he leaves once more before he really loses it. Before going after him Miss Martian informs KF of how Danny opened his mind to her and that for his sake she hopes he never shares those memories of what he went through with him. Feeling bad now, KF tries to apologize once Danny returns. Which results in failure again and again since Danny keeps giving him the cold shoulder.

After having yet another apology disregarded KF, in mounting frustration blurts out that he wishes he understood what has Danny so convinced he's a ghost, unaware a certain wish twisting genie he was warned about had been invisibly lurking in the vicinity the instant Danny was elsewhere. Along with the rest of the regulars, as soon as KF's denials had spread to the Ghost Zone Desiree was on the warpath, intent on showing just how real ghosts truly were. By sheer spite and determination she beat everyone else to him, just in time to hear him say the forbidden word, presenting her with the perfect means of retribution.

With a "So you have wished it so shall it be" KF is magically transported to an underwater submarine, occupied by Black Manta. Unable to run as freely without potentially damaging the sub and causing it to flood, the fight upon his unexpected arrival is drawn out to the point KF starts to feel his hyper metabolism weakening him. It's when he's close to dying of starvation that one of the more incompetent goons sends him crashing into the stash of ectoplasm Manta had smuggled with the intent of using it to pollute the waters of Aquaman's Kingdom. The last thing KF sees before blacking out is Desiree looming over him with a smirk of satisfaction.

[wolfnight2012]

So is the fandom at large still characterizing "Open Arms" as the ~pacifism~ song or have we gotten past that?

Like, I don't know how keen Polites was for violence as a soldier in the Trojan war, since we meet him after the fact & lose him soon after.

But "Open Arms" doesn't tell us about his capacity for violence. It barely tells us about his thoughts on violence as an option.

The most we can infer from "Full Speed Ahead" and "Open Arms" is that Polites doesn't believe violence is the only option (or the one they should jump to first.)

But that's not even what "Open Arms" is about (not really)

"Open Arms" is about Polites noticing Odysseus' trauma & trying to help his friend heal.

The first lines of the song are:

"I can tell you're getting nervous, so do yourself a service"

Here "nervous" isn't being used to mean "scared" but rather "anxious" or "tense." I think Polites is calling out the fact that Odysseus is going 'fight or flight' mode despite everything being calm/no threat in sight.

He then tells Odysseus to have hope.

"Think of all that we have been through, we'll survive what we get in to"

He then starts to call out Odysseus a bit more explicitly (and notice how Odysseus does not contradict him. After his first [and unconvincing imo] "I"m fine, Polites" Odysseus doesn't speak again until the lotus-eaters show up)

(Btw, if you wanna read my breakdown of Polites & Odysseus' relationship [as explicitly depicted in EPIC], I wrote a post about it here)

"I know that you're tired of the war & bloodshed" <-We the audience also know this: "Will these actions haunt my days/is the price I pay endless pain?" (Plus killing Astyanax messed him up)

"Tell me, is this how we're supposed to live?" <- Must we remain in that kill/be killed mindset, always on alert, always warriors first, men second?

"Look at how you grip your sword, enough said" <- I think we can infer that Polites is either calling out the fact that Odysseus hasn't let go of his sword since they left the ship (aka always in 'warrior mode' aka "is this how we're supposed to live?") OR that Odysseus is white-knuckling his sword, (aka he is nervous/ anxious/stressed about a potential attack despite no visible threats)

Either way, in Polites' eyes, this mentality is detrimental to his friends' mental and/or emotional health.

Then we get to the point where I think the misunderstanding started & ended up overshadowing the rest of the song:

"You can show a person that you trust them, when you stop and lower your guard" <- I think we can take this literally (lower your sword until you actually have need of it) or figuratively (be ~emotionally~ vulnerable by asking for help.)

"This life is amazing, when you greet it with open arms" <- It doesn't have to be "endless pain" Life can be beautiful, but you have to stop closing yourself off/seeing everything as a threat first

Polites is arguing that the world is not always out to get you. Sometimes people are decent. Sometimes they are willing (or want) to help you.

It's a bit of "Try extending your hand in greeting before reaching for your sword" (Not everyone will be friendly, but you won't know if you are aggressive from the get-go.)

And a bit "Life is what you make of it" (if Ody treats every stranger like an enemy, then that is what they'll be.)

"We'll be fine if we're leading from the heart" I talk a bit about this in my response here. TLDR; Odysseus is lying to himself when he says he can "Lead from the heart & see what starts" in "Luck Runs Out" because that is not what he is doing,(and his reward is the windbag betrayal) MEANWHILE he does successfully "lead from the heart" while warding off Circe's advances & it's what saves his men/gains Circe's sympathy.

"No matter the place, we can light up the world, here's how to start" <- Again, life is what you make of it. You can make it a good one; not everything is an enemy/potential threat. Stop being a warrior first & go back to being a man

Of course, this doesnt immediately work, because Odysseus greets the world with his sword when the lotus-eaters show up

(Tbh, I find it hilarious that the lotus-eaters' FIRST word is "Welcome" and Odysseus responds to a Friendly Greeting by drawing his sword)

Like, Odysseus is genuinely seeing a threat here, he IS scared "nervous"

His first words to the lotus-eaters is a demand/warning for them to "stay back" (and both their cute voices [going off audio only] or their canonical fluffy designs tell us these are tiny things. They have no weapons, they haven't indicated any aggression, but Odysseus is so high-strung he sees something he might need to fight anyways)

THIS is what Polites has been refering to. THIS is why he's so concerned about his friend. That is not healthy and Odysseus is buckling under the weight of living in "survival" mode/always being "on"

"My friend, greet the world with open arms" <- this isnt Polites horrified Odysseus is responding with aggression/concerned for the innocent lotus-eaters, THIS is Polites (knowing Odysseus is tired of war & bloodshed) reminding his friend that he doesn't have to put himself through this. There IS another way. These creatures could be friendly, "Maybe they'll share some food, who knows?" Maybe, maybe not, but they won't know until they extend a hand first & ask.

And Odysseus does it by half measures *cough* just like all his actions after "Just a Man"*cough*

He lets the lotus-eaters know of their plight "We're only here for food" and threatens them in the next breath "600 men are waiting/stay back, I'm warning you/my men will turn this place into blazes"

He doesn't even ask for food/help, he simply lets the lotus-eaters know they're searching for food, then immediately piles on three additional threats to make sure they don't try anything.

Then of course the lotus-eaters offer food, but not food they can eat & Odysseus becomes dejected (which I think implies he was [sorta] listening to Polites, or at the very least, is so tired/stressed/wrung-out that he was secretly hoping it could be as easy as Polites claims.)

And Polites tries one more time.

"I'd like to show my friend that kindness is brave" <- I've seen so many people call Polites naive. That his optimism is too extreme/and not fit for the world (or at least the world of EPIC) but i would disagree with this common interpretation as well.

Why is kindness brave? If Polites believed greeting the world with open arms would help them find ONLY friendly strangers (instead of hostile ones or outright foes) then why would kindness be brave. Wouldn't it simply be? After all, what's brave about a sure thing? What's brave about having a get-out-of-danger-free card?

Kindness is brave because sometimes you WILL be met with hostile strangers/foes. But you extend your hand in peace first anyways. You don't know for certain if you will be met with friend or foe. But that does not mean you walk around, one hand on your sword, seeing enemies at every turn. You greet the world with open arms & give strangers the benefit of the doubt first, THEN use force if necessary.

I see Polites' philosophy as similar to Waymond's from EEAAO in that regard.

Polites, like Waymond, is choosing kindness. Is choosing to be optimistic. Not because he is naive to the ways of the world, but in spite of them. That is how Polites fights against darkness & despair. He is not naive.

When Polites tells the lotus eaters he'd "Like to show my friend that kindness is brave" he knows he's taking a risk. That's why it's brave. He is extending his trust to these creatures in the hopes they'll help/they have no ill intent, BUT being Well Aware he could be met with the latter.

Just because he's optimistic about the outcome doesn't mean he doesnt understand the risk. To refuse to dwell on the negative doesn't mean you're unaware of negative possibilities.

Then Polites reiterates his advice "This life is amazing, when you greet it with open arms" because it doesn't have to all be war & bloodshed & stress. You CAN find goodness in the world, and you'll feel much better if you don't assume everyone & everything is out to get you. And he lets Ody know he's aware of what he's going through/what's upsetting him.

"I seen in your face there is so much guilt inside your heart" <- I genuinely don't know if the crew know Odysseus dropped Astyanax, every time Odysseus references the infant, it's vaguely or as an aside. But even if Polites DOESN'T know Odysseus killed an infant, he still has 10 years of war to draw from (plus the wooden horse/killing sleeping Trojans bit.) Like, Polites is aware of what Odyssues has done, he knows what Odysseus is grappling with. This is not a simple/superficial/naive call for Odysseus to 'cheer up!' Polites knows of the darkness weighing on Odysseus' shoulders & he's telling Odysseus he's allowed to put it behind him.

"So why not replace it, and light up the world" <- He's allowed. It's over. It's behind them. Polites does not want his friend to torment himself forever. Whatever he did, he can move on. He can be a better man that what he was forced to become while at war/Troy (remember, Polites is well aware Odysseus is "tired of the war and bloodshed".)

And how can Odysseus begin to heal from his guit/trauma?

"Greet the world with open arms" <- stop seeing every stranger as a potential enemy/threat. Open yourself up to the possibility that good things happen sometimes. Sometimes, people are kind

"Greet the world with open arms" <- and Odysseus begins to tentatively open himself up to the concept & take Polites' words to heart

"You can relax, my friend" <- you're allowed

Sidenote: I told myself this post would ONLY be about Open Arms (and this ended up being SO Much longer than I anticipated) but I have a few more things to say, so I'll try to be brief.

Warrior of the Mind:

I'm convinced Athena pops in when she does because Odysseus is listening to Polites. He's been eaten by guilt since Astyanax & shyed away from violence in Full Speed Ahead. His nervousness is not very "warrior of the mind" of him. YET Athena doesn't come in to scold Odysseus at any of these points.

It's only when Odysseus sings Polites' chorus back to him, signaling he's opening himself up to the concept of open arms that Athena makes her entrance.

Polyphemus:

I'm not asserting this, but I think the argument can be made that Odysseus checks out the cave because of Polites. Like, either:

A.) He's giving Polites' advice a try here & now by trusting the lotus eaters/that they mean no ill-intent OR

B.) (less likely probaby??) His friendship/affection for Polites is the sort where he wants to please him. Polites is set on trusting the lotus/showing Odyssues "another way" & Odysseus will humor him because it's Polites asking

(Tho obviously the other explanation is that they are just THAT desperate for food & Odysseus doesn't think they have time to go searching for yet another island when this one (the lotus eater one) already turned out to be a bust

Underworld:

I feel like the general consensus for Polites' section of "Underworld" is that Polites died still seeing/believing in the good of the world OR that his dying wish was for Odysseus to chose nonviolence/pacifism???

(But as you can tell from *gestures at this entire post* I don't subscribe to the idea that "Open Arms" is about nonviolence. THEREFORE)

We know Polites last words/action in life was calling for Odysseus. And, imo, Polites' dying wish was for Odysseus to heal. If "Open Arms" is about Polites' calling out Odysseus' stress/trauma & trying to coax Ody to approach life differently so he can start to move on from the horrors of war.

Then that means, in death, Polites is stuck hoping Odysseus heals. Over & Over Polites sings for his friend to let go of his guilt & try to build a life worth living (not just one have to survive in)

And THAT imo is 1000x sadder than a call for pacifism. Because Polites' dying wish doesn't come true. Odysseus' mental/emotional health grows worse & worse. He pushes everyone away in the Ocean Saga, to the point that his crew of 10 years starts to doubt him! He already "can hardly sleep" in the Circe Saga. The Underworld Saga almost destroys him and it only gets worse from there!

In the Underworld Odysseus is confronted with Polites' love for him. His desire for him to get better. His hope for Odysseus to find peace/happiness.

Polites loved him soooo much, his Final Thoughts were concern for his friend. (Then Ody gets to hear from his mom, who loved him so much she died waiting for his return)

No wonder it breaks him.

[Anyways, if you wanna see my (much shorter) post over how the Wisdom Saga basically argues for/confirms Polites' philosophy Was RIGHT, you can find it here]

[peri-requiem]

The Apothecary Diaries | EP 4 'The Threat'

[mari-lair]

Kou's perception of Mitsuba, and how it changes, is fascinating to me.

(Quick note: I’ll be calling the human ‘Sousuke’ and the supernatural ‘Mitsuba’ to make it less confusing)

Let’s rewind to Mitsuba’s introduction in Hell of Mirrors: Kou leaped at the idea that Sousuke was back. Even after Tsukasa told him this isn’t the same person he used to know, merely an "artificial ghost with part of Sousuke's soul", Kou subconsciously rejected the idea.

Mitsuba’s existence brought his grief back full force, and while he could sense that Sousuke’s memory doesn’t perfectly match reality, logic was never his strongest motivator in hell of mirrors, he is so full of hope and desperation: He wants Mitsuba to be Sousuke so bad.

He can’t let go of the past, he is not seeing Mitsuba, just shadows of Sousuke.

Kou wasn’t able to tell this is not his old friend, simply perceiving Mitsuba as an amnesic Sousuke.

Kou wants Mitsuba to 'remember' him when we know from Mitsuba's empty mirror that he has no life to remember. Kou calls him what he had called Sousuke and gives him Sousuke’s photos, visibly desperate to get his friend back.

Even when they get out, Kou did not allow himself to face reality, talking about Mitsuba as if he was Sousuke, pushing what Tsukasa had said away.

“I thought he was gone for good” “I didn’t think I’ll ever see him again” “Because I couldn’t save him” Is all about Sousuke, which, as Tsukasa explained, “Sousuke doesn’t exist anywhere in this world anymore”

Kou only starts to realize what he has been doing and face reality in picture perfect, when Mitsuba shows him Sousuke’s life on the windows, calling Kou out for only focusing on his dead friend, ignoring Mitsuba, and using him for his own selfish reasons.

Kou is reminded of his trauma when Mitsuba breaks the window with Sousuke’s memories in it, but it does serve as an efficient wake up call.

Kou actually looks at Mitsuba here. He is dazed and shocked but he pays attention to what Mitsuba is saying: he is able to sees him as his own person. 

Mitsuba is confident no one cares about him, so after venting, completely breaking this world's facade, he sucks up his tears and goes back to his human form, offering Kou his dreams.

This time Sousuke’s image isn’t overwhelming. Kou doesn’t want to believe in this fake world now that he can see through it: Now that he can see Mitsuba.

He understands this is his own wish, not Mitsuba’s.

He can see that this lie is hurting Mitsuba.

Kou understands that there is truth to Mitsuba’s words. During all the fun times they spent together, he had been picturing Sousuke by his side, he wanted to have Sousuke back so badly that he never considered Mitsuba’s feelings, or how his wish to replace him would be hurtful.

Kou is a selfish person full of genuine kindness: He still wishes Mitsuba was Sousuke and he feels guilt for ignoring Mitsuba.

“You can’t find happiness in a fake world” is a message to both Mitsuba and himself. Once Kou snaps out of his dream, he realizes it would only lead to ruin and tries to drag Mitsuba out of his own delusions, and while he has some points, he doesn’t understand that promising a better reality, giving him hope, is cruel.

Kou genuinely wants to understand Mitsuba, so he hears him out, and pays full attention to his distress.

There is still the solid weight of his failure with Sousuke in Mitsuba’s very essence, but despite them looking the same and being very tied together, Kou is determined to focus on Mitsuba, he doesn’t want to do the same mistake again.

I won’t go in depth on Kou’s lack of care about his own life in this analysis, but I think it is worth noticing this offer was for Mitsuba, not Sousuke, and Mitsuba could see that.

Mitsuba doesn't believe Kou can make him human, but he understands that he is serious, and that Kou will try.

He gets the feeling that maybe, hopefully, Kou cares about him too, not just Sousuke, so it freaks him out that his possible friend throws himself out of the fucking building.

The last thing Kou wants is to hurt him, so he apologizes for being reckless and trying to sort out his own feelings without considering how Mitsuba would feel.

Despite this determination to be closer to Mitsuba, he subconsciously puts a distance between himself and the supernatural. He accidentally keeps ignoring him.

Remember this:

It’s about Kou’s wish, but it shows one of Mitsuba's own wishes, one weaker than his burning desire to be human, but no less real: The wish for friends.

Friends are one of the reasons he went along with faking to be Sousuke, friends are one of the many reasons he wants to be human in the first place.

But unfortunately, this is a wish he shares with Sousuke, so Kou blocked it out, not wanting to overlap the two, even if wanting to be friends is a part of Mitsuba too.

It’s complicated.

Being friends meant so much for Sousuke, and Kou doesn’t want to be reminded of him.

Kou understands seeing Mitsuba as Sousuke is an insecurity of Mitsuba and truly believes that the supernatural deserves better, he should be his own person instead of a shadow of Sousuke. Kou recognizes this difficulty separating the two is his issue, not Mitsuba's, so he is determined to make sure it doesn't become a problem again.

This need to separate the two makes it so he can’t see Mitsuba as a friend, or if he does, he can’t voice it. He has never called Mitsuba a friend unless he was thinking of Sousuke or mistaking him for Sousuke, whose friendship he treasures. Even when Mitsuba had expressed he want Kou to stay in this world as his friend, the wish didn't register, and Kou focused instead on the far less achievable, but completely detached from Sousuke, dream of turning him into a human.

Mitsuba’s dream is important to Kou, and Mitsuba noticed that, since his vent was a moment were he had Kou full attention on him instead of Sousuke, so Mitsuba eventually used his dream to distract Kou from Nene’s lifespan and their dilemma in Mei’s world.

Unfortunately, this is, at its core, just a distraction: Mitsuba may believe in Kou’s determination, but he doesn’t believe Kou has the power to grant his wish, he isn’t expecting Kou to find a solution, and he never pressures Kou about it after, he only said this because he doesn’t like to see Kou in distress, it makes him uncomfortable, and so he needs him to snap out of it.

Mitsuba has no idea how huge this is for Kou, how important it feels, cause Kou feels as if no one had ever expected anything from him before.

Even when Hanako expected him to save Nene, Kou had no idea so much trust was put on him, because Hanako only told him this:

And Kou was frozen in time, unable to hear a thing, when Hanako added this:

So in Kou’s point of view, Mitsuba is the only one that expects something from him, the only one that depends on him. (which is diferent from people depending on his role: like his siblings needing a housekeeper)

Kou talks big but in the end, he is just an overwhelmed 14 year old: while he is determined to make Mitsuba’s dream come true and fully separate him from Sousuke, he has no way to help him, and it is hard for him to not see Mitsuba as Sousuke. It’s incredibly hard.

It may have been presented in a comedic manner, but we know this haunts him all the way to his dreams.

Add in all the romantic undertones of his interactions with both Mitsuba and Sousuke, and Kou really has a big crisis.

He only fully comes to terms that Sousuke is gone when he visits his mom and sees first hand the impact of his death.

He processed and mourned Sousuke's death, he can truly separate them now, but things are still far from simple.

What exactly is his relationship with Mitsuba? It isn’t as easy to understand as his relationship with Sousuke.

Let’s see how his wishes manifest to illustrate it. This is his wish with Sousuke:

It's the wish to have been a good friend to Sousuke while he was alive. Depending on where you read, the translations may be ‘you were my friend’ or you ‘are my friend’ but regardless, it has Sousuke wearing his death clothes and thanking Kou, which shows that Kou has moved on. He has accepted his death, no longer wishing for Sousuke to come back to life.

His wish with Mitsuba may start simple enough: Kou wants to be missed, to be wanted.

But grows out of control very quickly.

It’s strange. Dangerous.

It’s important that when the Fake shows up in the red house he is a supernatural, not a human like Mitsuba wishes to be. The fake also wants Kou to fulfill his promise from picture perfect and die so they can be together, which is something Mitsuba rejected, angry with Kou for his reckless behavior.

This wish to stay by his side forever is purely Kou, though it's not as simple as Kou wanting to die: Keep in mind that many of the house wishes are merely things Kou subconsciously wants because it would give him an easy answer to a dilemma he is being troubled by: Like when the house materialized an evil Hanako telling him to “exorcise me before I kill everyone” because all his problems would have been easier to solve if the world was more black and white.

If dying, ending it all, really was a deep wish of his the house would have shown him an easy way to die: For better or worst, the house is very straight to the point with its temptations, when Kou wished for a legendary weapon that would ‘save senpai in a flash’ the house gave him exactly what he asked for, when he got hungry it showed him food, so if he seeked death itself, even if subconsciously, the house would offer him a noose or a drop as high as a school building, not something so tied to the idea of being wanted, to Mitsuba trusting and believing in Kou.

Kou has very little self-worth and sees his own life as a disposable tool for others, but I do not believe being willing to die and wanting to die are the same. He mostly wants an answer about what to do with Mitsuba, he wants to be the one with the solution to his problems more than he wants to make Mitsuba human, and the only solution he can come up with is to become a supernatural, so the red house gave him exactly what he wants: a solution of his own making.

Kou is very self-centered, the Fake may be twisted, but Kou had always accidentally distorted his relationship with Mitsuba, the unease he felt facing the fake is likely because it isn’t what he expected to see, but it isn’t alien either, it’s similar to things Kou has thought before:

Now, Kou doesn’t want Mitsuba to be helpless, to consume his life, he have no malicious intentions whatsoever, but he does want to be needed. Kou is desperate to be needed.

He feels like he is never seen as reliable: He had bonding moments with Nene on many occasions but she has Hanako, whose actions are morally questionable at times but he does get results, unlike Kou. Teru loves him but kept him in the dark about the exorcist world for his whole life, Tiara loves him but Kou seems to be under the impression her favorite bro is clearly Teru, and anyone else wouldn’t pick him as their first choice.

In contrast, Mitsuba is very attached to him, Mitsuba has a wish that he had asked Kou to grant him, and Kou had attached himself to Mitsuba just as much as he has grown attached to the idea that Mitsuba needs him.

Kou’s wish to be with Mitsuba and his deep wish to be needed are interconnected, Kou wants so so much to help him, to not be a disappointment again, that he became obsessed. Ironically, while Kou wants to be trusted, he doesn’t trust himself, and this determination to grant his wish blinds Kou from bonding and granting Mitsuba's wish for friends. Kou does have good intentions but he is doing what he wants, he is not paying attention to Mitsuba.

Kou doesn’t want Mitsuba to worry, Kou wants to help, and he can’t see his lack of self preservation hit Mitsuba too. I personally think Kou is aware his selflessness is inherently selfish but he hates that part of himself, because he rejected all his wishes in the red house but was able to admit to himself later they are his wishes.

He seem to acknowladge this but still reject it, cause he keeps doing the same mistakes: He may have apologized for jumping in picture perfect but he keeps missing Mitsuba’s intentions.

He is at his most selfish with Mitsuba and yet, I have no doubts he genuinely cares about him.

When he does see Mitsuba again, he is happy he is ‘good’ and he has both a heavy romantic energy and a noticeable distance. In hindsight, I’m not surprised he called him an acquaintance.

Kou likes him but he isn’t sure if is because of Mitsuba or because Mitsuba reminds him of Sousuke, so Kou had put a mental block on the idea of them being friends. Mitsuba very existence was born out of his failure with Sousuke, and have a big tie with Kou’s self worth. Any romantic feelings he has are being suppressed, and yet they do have a connection outside Sousuke. Kou is so focused on not disappointing Mitsuba he sabotages a lot of chances of connecting with him.

So what are they? It’s not as simple as ‘not quite friends and not quite lovers’, they are deeply affected by each other but know so little of the other they are basically strangers. They put their wishes on each other (”I want friends” “I want to be needed”) and yet misread what they are expected to give. They want connection and are afraid of not being as important to the other as the other is for them: They are a loving and tragic mess.

I am not surprised Kou had a breakdown when Mitsuba told him to exorcise him.

At this point, Kou is able to see Mitsuba as his own person/monster, so I feel like the request to be exorcised doesn’t make him remember Sousuke’s death, but it does bring back Severance trauma: We haven’t seen a Sousuke flashback in ages, but we got plenty of little panels of Mitsuba in the severance from Kou’s pov.

Outside the distress of Mitsuba wanting to die after Kou just got him back, it’s important that Kou focuses on how he needs to eat to survive after the severance, and instead of being disgusted as Mitsuba expected, Kou takes it as a personal attack, as a declaration Mitsuba also has Tsukasa to rely on.

Kou doesn’t care that Mitsuba is a monster, it was one of the main things he used to differentiate him from Sousuke, is old news, but he does care that Mitsuba still wants to be human but have gave up on ever being one. By doing so, Mitsuba indirectly admits that he doesn’t believe Kou can grant his wish, which is a promise that Kou had put a lot of his self-worth in, so it feels like Mitsuba doesn’t need Kou.

The only thing Mitsuba seems to need Kou for is to exorcise him.

Kou needs to handle both the realization Mitsuba wants to die and that he doesn’t believe in him, that’s more than enough to break him. Add in all the repressed feeling he have, both of friendship and romance, and dear lord, please help this kid.

These two have so many communication problems I hope they talk in the next chapter.

[captainhysunstuff]

L’s a little disappointed by my recent… distraction.

[doodlinge]

my writing tips, that i think people will find useful:

- write dialogue first and THEN make a scene around it.

i like to do this sometimes for multiple reasons. first, if you’re in a flow of good ideas, getting dialogue done will be a future GAME CHANGER. you don’t have to be stuck fussing over little word choices because you just do it when you have a good idea, and it works! fuss over it now, save time for descriptions later. second, the characters you’re writing usuuallly wont be able to read eachother’s minds. we people do everything by communication and talking! so, map out what you want your scene to look like through dialogue! i like to do mine as a screenplay or movie script, so that way i can ensure that the characters are speaking Like Real People (tm). and THEN I READ IT OUTLOUD >:)

- map out your chapters before you start to write. seriously, do it.

so, personally, my favorite part of fanfiction and writing is the planning stage. and i like doing it on paper, but we’ll get into that after this. first, you get the idea, the spark in your brain that could make an AMAZING story, comic, or au. that’s the general premise to work off of! write that down, if you need. next, do a VERY rough draft of what you want to happen—specifically, the 3 main points of your story: the beginning event, the middle event or climax, and the ending event, or your point A, B, and C. work off of and build up (or build down) from each of these core events of your story, planning the small events that lead up to The Big Guy (or B). these ideas or premises for each leading event can and probably will be VERY, VERY rough, but once you’ve got the rough idea of what will probably happen done, you can get to work on MORE PLANNING (sorry guys. learn to enjoy it)

- PLANNING PART TWO BABY WOOO (plan out your chapters. and if it doesnt work when you’re writing it, that’s okay!)

this is what you will do before you write your chapters, that works for me way better than just going in with no plan. personally, when i started to write the fic i’m currently writing, i mapped out all the rough details that i want to happen in the climax chapter of my story, because most people find the middle the hardest part. since i already had an rough idea of what would have happened before the climax with my previous planning stage, i already was able to connect how all of the buildup would lead into the climax of the story pretty easily. every action in your story will have a consequence, big or small, and that all will lead up to your protagonist bursting into tears or the main couple confessing their love or the final, epic battle between the protagonist and antagonist! if, when you’re writing, the rough idea you had just isn’t working out, you can either a: redo it completely if it’s a huge problem, or b (my favorite): work around it in the moment and improvise. i ended up making my fic’s climax way better just because of the extra scenes i added in while writing, but since i had my original plan to work off of, everything was a lot easier.

- make every scene with a motive to accomplish

most people know this one, but i thought it was good to add in. whether it’s to flesh out the world around your characters with fun and shenanigans or to give the audience a little more insight into a character who will be useful in the future, every scene and every chapter should have a purpose. when people act, they also like to give their characters motivations, and for a while, i wasn’t sure how that could connect. however, now i understand. let’s say a character is trying to motivate another one to be brave and face their fears, but character a is actually only interested in their own interests. character a’s motivation is to be self-serving—they’re not as concerned with helping character b, but instead, they want to help themself. this shows a lot about character a! when you have a purpose for every story beat and a motive for each character, it can help you flesh out the character much better.

- show don’t tell (and what i interpret that as)

okay, so for a while, i had NO idea what show don’t tell even meant. i LOVE writing about my character’s thoughts, their interests, their perspectives on what’s going on around them. character analysis is one of the best parts, for me! but there are ways to show what a character is thinking without the use of heavy description. for example, take this part from the fic i’m currently working on right now:

the character i’m writing for had not mentioned her mom the entire chapter, but when you go back and analyze her character throughout it, you can see major hints that part of why she who she is stems from her trauma with her mother. when she connects to an older adult female figure and feels understood, the issues she has are shown and not told, clear as day. by using dialogue and trusting your audience to connect the dots about your characters, you can make a better-written story! remember motivations; sometimes, characters don’t even know they have the motivations that they do, and the audience has to figure it out based on context clues. leave room for intrigue and mystery! think; if you were this character in this situation feeling the way they felt, what would you do? what would you say? why would you say it, and what would that reveal about you?

- write one story beat per day and WRITE ON PAPER

the word count, for me, doesn’t matter. if the quality of your writing is good, and the pacing gives audiences room to breathe, then that’s enough! quality over quantity, in my opinion. if you’re not up for writing, PLAN CHAPTERS! plan scenes, plan events! plan dialogue, make it fun! that is writing too. for me, when i have the planning done, i go with the One Story Beat Per Day Rule. if you get one small event done each time you write, you’ll be finishing The Big Event you wanted to accomplish in no time. and if you’re in the middle of a big story beat and you just need a break, i’d say to take one…. and later, come back with a notebook and a pen and think. paper has helped me write better because the flow of thought just keeps going when i’m focused, and i think it might work for a lot of people.

- remember, YOU CAN DO THIS! MAKE IT FUN!

writing and finishing stuff is really, really hard. but if you get one small thing done for the characters in your story, comic or au each day… you’ll eventually have an amazing, finished story. make it fun for yourself. listen to music, act out the scripts, use color theory, analyze your characters and don’t make it a chore! every small step contributes to getting to the top. make something you will love to write, and that you will love to read. make something for yourself, because in the end, if you enjoy it, the audiences will enjoy it.

[zylphiacrowley]

And the Land Would Tremble...

<previous - next>

[halfstayed]

Helen Norville | I can't be the only (3:37)

a million people in this town, but I could scream without a sound

— Sasha Alex Sloan, “The Only”

[chasedeys]

I need your thoughts bc i’m trying to write a story & obviously we ‘know’ how joemarr’s relationship is but do you think joe and ja’marr (separately or together lol) are closer to tee or justin?? AND how do you think their relationship is with both guys. because for me sometimes it’s like joe is tee’s big brother but idk… help. please.

hello!!! (so very sorry this took. so very long. but it's here! and i rambled way too much but at the same time nothing of substance on this sort of 😭)

in a completely non pushy very excited way what fic are you writing hehe any mention of a joemarr fic in progress and i perk up like a lemur. no pressure though keep it all to yourself I'm just nosy lol

and i feel like you are completely free to decide who's closer to who based on your own fic's direction?? like me personally it depends 😭 cannot be definitive for the life of me. i myself have totally sometimes Cartoonify friendships just for the Sake of the Bit you know? but like not too much or it just gets disrespectful and annoying and i try to stay true to their character or whatever really i don't actually know these people lol

the Vibes that i sense and also some i've made up completely in my head are kind of like this:

over the years, i feel like joemarr have grown wayyyy closer to tee and have grown apart from justin. and that's to be given really considering they're now teammates with tee and justin is in a whole other team making whole other moves than them! and that's okay! they aren't made to be forever linked together, they're their own people, making their own marks in the league! but they're always going to have that 2018-19-20 lsu insanity with them and i am always going to mention that in my fics! and nobody's going to forget that college run i fear 2019 lsu is kind of legendary lmao these three are always going to be asked about each other and their pasts linked to each other no matter what and that's honestly really beautiful if you think abt it.

ja'marr and tee -> god these two. i think ja'marr is just. so obsessed with tee. just. incredibly fond of tee. unwilling to let him go. incapable of being chill about him (like he is about anybody who has somehow hit certain standards that only he knows). and i went on a spiel here where i suggest you read bc it's weirdly more well written than what i wrote here 😭. basically, i think he looks up so much to tee because tee is someone who he gets to let his guard down and be just a team player with. does that make sense. it really honestly boils back down to comparing it to justin and that sounds bad but i don't know how to explain it better?? that sounds kind of wrong tbh arhgrhgrh. it's like with tee he doesn't have to keep clawing for his spot or compete as much or whatever. like tee is clearly such an amazing wr, clearly a wr1 caliber player like ja'marr, yet he doesn't fight with ja'marr over his looks or plays or spot like justin does with him, which has to be like a breath of fresh air for ja'marr and he's said it himself all 'tee is the most unselfish player'. like that means something to him. ja'marr cares so much for tee's opinions, tee constantly singing ja'marr praises and ja'marr being so sooo silent whenever tee goes on a rant abt him like he doesn't know what to say he just hugs tee with one arm and says appreciate you so quietly (HE DOES THIS A LOT WHEN HE GETS COMPLIMENTED BTW. DO YOU NOTICE THIS. and there's so many fucking clips of them just wrapped around each other after a tuddy just!!! so cute.), and ja'marr known outrageous mother hen ja'marr chase making (speculationnnn) tee change agents and taking him to his massage therapist (in his fucking houseeee i went on a rant here god this is still so crazy to me) and nagging at tee in his mic'ed up moments so many times that feel good play good thing like. he tries to big brother tee so much when tee's the one big brothering him you know 😭 it's so funny god their dynamic is so fucking funny to me. (ja'marr tries so hard to be mature and captain-like whatever and he is good at it you know but 😭 with tee and joe and like all the bengals vets like mike h and sam and even with yoshi whos the same age as him yk it's so very clear he's the baby lmao.) he's trying so hard to take care of tee, keep him safe and well and healthy and with him, doesn't want him to leave. OH AND they went to this showroom thing where they shopped for stuff and ja'marr went with tee (!!!!!!!) and asked tee's opinion for a belt or something and tee was all dude just choose whatever you want it's soooo cute god they're so cute to me (there was also that fucking loverboy beanie im obsessed with that ja'marr didn't even glance at im so pissed. im so fucking pissed what do i have to do to get him to wear a cat beanie this shit is serious to me) like ja'marr wants to know what tee thinks!! he values his opinions!!!! even for fucking clothes!!!! god. and he knows he plays better with tee with him on that field okay, he says that with tee he doesn't get double teamed as much, and he while he's proven that he plays just as well without tee, that piece of comfort having another wr1 with him (his best friend!!!) has got to be something he wants to keep for eternity (ahahaha, verbatim ofc).

joe and tee -> joe dotes over tee lmao you can't deny that man is besotted (ja'marr is too actually 😭 they both are it's completely understandable but at the same time you just have to close your eyes and wince bc that's embarrassing. please chill the fuck out you do not need to laugh that loud over a single sentence from tee. but again: completely understandable because tee is tee. like that batman hard knocks ep. tee said one fucking sentence and joemarr just. rolled over showed their belly panting it's embarrassingggg) he's soooooooo starry eyed over him, so shamelessly coddling (?) that game hug nuzzle the first time, the broncos game where it looked like he bit his neck, this pre season's training camp (?) laughing sooo freely with tee, every sentence out of him these past few weeks on tee staying in cincy 'tee is a NEED', etc etc like i know you said he's acting like tee's big brother which i agree with completely 100% but it's also like he can be such a little brother with tee!! it's like he can let go and not be a responsible person with tee idk does that make sense. joe totally acting like tees older brother but the thing is tee is doing it right back he's just chiller about it like he doesn't have to think too hard on it unlike joe who thinks he has to be this guy 24/7. it's like joe is unused to having such a down-to-earth sane (still hilariously unhinged but sane you know) guy who makes good choices when he's been stuck with guys like ja'marr and justin who are kind of. well. so he can let up and have tee take care of him for a change! well this isn't like this 100% of the time obviously but you get where i'm going with this right (god I'm so sorry this is a mess) also tee's like. really fucking funny and sweet and joyous to be around is there really any surprise that joemarr are smitten with him lmao. i think joe tweeted something abt playing with tee for a long time when they got drafted together?? kill me. no really kill me.

who do you think brought up that tee should just change agents to ja'marr's lmaooo do you think tee brought up his agent being so fucking argumentative that ja'marr tells him to tell him to fuck off and just switch to his. and then they all go dead silent about this including ja'marr because it was one of those things that he said without thinking. like literal light bulbs going off above their heads at the same time before they start scheming shit calling lawyers and ja'marr's agents at like 2 a.m trying to figure shit out 'playing chess'. or did ja'marr and tee discover this first like 'oh??? we can?? do it probably??' and call joe frantically like can we do it and joe hangs up on them without saying anything and the got so fucking offended only for joe to turn up in their place (either one idk) one minute later probably breaking the speed of light and boom. ja'marr has his claws on tee and he's not letting go ever.

joe and justin -> while yes i said that joemarr grew apart from justin i feel like joe is like the type of person to just. be shameless in reconnecting with people he's grown apart from. while ja'marr is. very petty. lmao. i think joe is just very shameless when he reaches out to people. he, like ja'marr, is insanely loyal and values friendship to a concerning degree. he keeps contact with practically any person he grows attached to and texts them regularly and by that i mean that even if he gets ghosted or there's a ridiculously long period of dead silence between them he still texts first like 'hey bro long time no talk u in town do you wanna watch the new spongebob movie tomorrow' and bulldozes through the awkwardness like he doesn't even see it. which works with justin!! who i think kind of sucks at keeping in touch with people (like ja'marr, see below sooo sorry this is so shittily structured) and he hangs out with a lot of people during the offseason no? (its sooooo fascinating to me how he's sooo introverted and technically a hermit but he's also suchhhhh an outgoing little busybody you know and constantly reaches out to people first? like to gronk????? who does that.) including justin who has the same agent! having the same agent works wonders in keeping the connection no doubt too lmao. the paris fashion week thing etc. i think i've said it before but joe falls in love with every teammate he's ever gotten close to and that very much includes justin jefferson who helped him achieve his Insane Ambition of getting the natty so he's not letting him go even the slightest bit really. also qb-wr connection is practically something otherworldly really so really something to keep in mind when writing quarterbacks with former teammates they've thrown to lol. especially joe, who's kind of crazy 😭. i mean look at all his wristbands and sweatshirts and moving to lsu and hanging on to the playoffs by the skin of his teeth and all that jazz. he does Not let go easily. truly an interesting man to write.

ja'marr and justin -> those type of near aged siblings who fight over the weirdest shit and get stupidly competitive over everything and disgustingly annoyingly overly smug over a win that they get into stupid fights one minute only to slam open the other's bedroom door the next hour saying excitedly 'bitch i got free coupons for ice cream' and the other immediately goes 'DAMN RIGHT let me drive' completely forgetting that they were fighting and then the cycle repeats all over again. you can see just how disgustingly close they were together during lsu and that's not really something that just goes away even through time you know? but i do believe they've both grown individually as people and maybe they wouldn't get along as well now as they do then because again, they've been pitted against each other over and over and over and fucking over oh my god but the love they have for each other is clear as they really when you take in account all they've been through together. and i've said up above how their entire thing has been drenched with Competition and that's different with ja'marr's thing with tee and that's not to say that he doesn't enjoy the competition with justin he clearly loves it lmao he wouldn't be such a good player in the league if he hates it lol. more said down below because again, very shittily structured :)

justin and tee -> they should date idk (i think i had a fic idea for them somewhere in my writing tag ehehe)

on the lsu trio specifically lol didn't know how to insert it up above so:

i think justin and ja’marr are both the type to be shit at replying to texts 😔 like sure they'd text you and stuff but. they ignore so many texts whether intentionally or not. they've both said they don't talk with each other etc etc haHAhaaHHAa pain. if i may Speculate: they both probably tried texting on the regular but suck sooooooo bad at it it just peters off (is that the right fucking word oh my god why is the english language so fucking difficult that is literally a NAME) pathetically like ja'marr texted tuesday 8 p.m and justin replies on saturday 11.59 pm to which ja'marr replies to that at wednesday 1.25 a.m do you get me. and they can't standddd this type of shit 😭 kind of low attention span kind of deal and also losing interest on the text convo and having so much shit going on irl that they just don't really text anymore??

joe is like the opposite of this he replies to texts late max 2 days tops but he’s just shit at text talk. absolutely 0 flair to his words. desperately needs to learn tone indicators but people he texts have grown completely used to this and either accepts they will never understand him or, like ja’marr and justin and tee, somehow understands him 98% and bulldozes through his awkward texting and also shits on him liberally. but even if people reply to him late he'd just continue with the convo completely dead serious abt it uncaring how long you text and never the one to end convos and that's weirdly how he keeps such close contact with people he hasn't seen in years??

that's not to say that justin and ja'marr don't vibe with each other anymore lol it's kind of difficult to let go of what two years of practically living in each other's pockets being the Best at what they do. it's just they've also grown so much apart and bloom into way different people than who they knew each other to be. the random ass rarri truck comment is still so confusing to me though like. are you two okay. what was that. did your agents tell you to do something. could you two please interact irl again so i can obsessively analyze whatever the fuck you got going on actually. maybe make out on camera too idk.

also they have such the shittiest friendship humor that only people in their circle would get you know 😭 constantly shitting on each other (ja'marr does it in front of cameras while justin knows pr talk and actually exercises it well. hence the amount of people shitting on ja'marr for saying shit they themselves have said and joke about their friends. pisses me off.) and outrageously competitive people who are undeniably the best at what they do getting compared to each other constantly and their history of ja'marr technically having beaten justin during college and coming into the league with justin breaking several type of records while ja'marr breaks a whole different set of records etc etc just 😭 do you get me. i am so Sensitive about these two pls nobody touch me about them im sorry..........

joe and justin having the same agents and then tee and ja'marr having the same agents is kind of crazy tbh. tee and justin should date just for this quartet to go straight into Messy.

disclaimer this is all pure Speculation and just me making shit up tbh using my Noticer Glasses that gets cloudy from my own delusions so take this with a grain of salt!

ALSO during college i think it's like. justin was really close to joe bc they're the same year (?) right seniors or whatever closer in age and they're clearly best friends. but justin and ja'marr were like twin flames, same position, and they're kind of insane abt each other during college lmao that one clip post natty win of justin leaning back to ja'marr is like burned into my head. and ja'marr was sooo unsure abt joe at first and joe was kind of way too intense without saying a single thing to ja'marr but just staring at him while justin was like the bridge between these two!! that's like a whole other thing about joemarr and justin that's sooo fun to write about truly i love Speculating lsu days crushes and justin being a little shit about them. (lsu ask i swear i'll finish answering you one day auguauguhsuhg)

[holy3cake]

In his Father's footsteps

Chapters: 15/20

Fandom: The Last Kingdom (TV)

Rating: Explicit

Relationships: Athelstan of England (894-939)/Uhtred Uhtredson | Osbert

Summary: After the Battle of Brunanburh, Uhtred is severely injured. He wants Osbert to look after Aethelstan, but the damage he has caused is not just skin deep. Will Osbert accept an oath to Aethelstan, or has the Young King pushed his subjects a little too far? Will Aethelstan cope without either of his fathers by his side?

OR

The fix-it fic to fix all of the problems that Aethelstan caused in Seven Kings must die.

Rated E for language, graphic depictions of violence, dark themes and shameless smut! Readers please be advised!

Updates: Fortnightly, dependant on schedule :)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15